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59.Etiquette.

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Copyright ОАО «ЦКБ «БИБКОМ» & ООО «Aгентство Kнига-Cервис»
Федеральное агентство по образованию
Государственное образовательное учреждение
высшего профессионального образования
«Казанский государственный технологический университет»
Нижнекамский химико-технологический институт
ETIQUETTE
Методические указания
Казань
КГТУ
2008
Copyright ОАО «ЦКБ «БИБКОМ» & ООО «Aгентство Kнига-Cервис»
Составители: ст.преп. Р.Н. Хазиева
доц. С.Д. Пивкин
доц. Т.И. Анисимова
Etiquette : методические указания / сост.: Р.Н. Хазиева,
С.Д. Пивкин, Т.И. Анисимова. – Казань : Изд-во Казан. гос.
технол. ун-та, 2008. – 16 с.
Представлены тексты об основных нормах и правилах
этикета.
Предназначены для студентов I-II курсов всех
специальностей.
Подготовлены на кафедре иностранных языков
Нижнекамского химико-технологического института.
Печатаются по решению методической комиссии
гуманитарно-социально-экономических дисциплин НХТИ.
Рецензенты: канд. пед. наук, доц. Р.Р. Саримова
канд. пед. наук, ст. преп. Р.С. Рафикова
Copyright ОАО «ЦКБ «БИБКОМ» & ООО «Aгентство Kнига-Cервис»
UNIT I. Principles of Etiquette.
“Behaviour is a mirror in which
everyone displays his image.”
Goethe
Reading for discussion. Read these texts which will help you to
discuss what etiquette means to each of us.
TEXT 1.
We live in the society and have to deal with other people all
the time. That is why it is necessary to remember about it every
day. Not every person is easy to get along because each of us has his
own interests and manners. To make everybody comfortable there
exist special rules of behaviour for every person. These rules are
called etiquette.
The idea of such rules goes back to the times when people
began to live in groups and understood that it was better to get
along with one another than to quarrel or fight. The first rules for
proper social behaviour were developed in
today ancient
Greece and Rome. Much of today’s formal etiquette originated in
the French royal courts in the late seventeenth century. For example
shaking hands is one of earliest forms of etiquette. Giving somebody
his hand a warrior wanted to show that he didn't have any weapons and
came in peace.
Today many of us worry about etiquette: we need to know
what to say and how to behave in a particular situation. Our language and
our manners must be appropriate to the situation.
***
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TEXT 2.
Etiquette is based on three very important principles:
Treat others as you want to be treated Every one of us has to
be treated with kindness and respect. If we hope to receive kindness
and respect from other people we must treat them with the same.
Beauty is as beauty does. This means that our personal beauty
depends on our behaviour rather than on our physical appearance.
In other words, it is how we act rather than how we appear that
makes us ugly or beautiful. No matter what we look like, crude
behaviour can make us ugly, while gracious behaviour can make us
beautiful in a very special way.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever! Think about it. When you
are around something that is ugly, you feel sad and depressed. On
the other hand, when you are around something that is beautiful
you feel inspired and happy.
Being around a person who is ugly because of crude behaviour
is often sad and depressing. However, being around a person who
is beautiful because of gracious behaviour is often inspiring.
Generally speaking, people do not want to be around a person who
makes them feel depressed. Instead, they want to be around
someone who makes them feel good.
***
TEXT 3.
Each culture has its own system of etiquette and they are
sometimes very different. Behaviour that is proper in one culture
may be improper another.
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The basic rules of introducing people in English-speaking
countries are:
- a man is introduced to a woman;
- a young person is introduced to an older person;
- a less important person is introduced to a more important
person.
The purpose of greeting in all languages is the same: to
establish a contact with another person and show friendliness. It is
very important to use the correct form of greeting. "Hello" is the
universal form and is acceptable in any situation except a very
formal introduction. When the British people talk to each other for
the first time it is usually considered impolite to ask personal
questions such as "How old are you?" or "Are you married?" It is
not polite to ask people how much they earn or how much their flat,
house or clothes cost. It is better to wait for the person to tell you
about it.
An Essay.
Get ready to write an essay:
“A thing of beauty is a joy forever”
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UNIT II. BASIC RULES OF SOCIAL ETIQUETTE
“Love one another.
Respect one another”
Read these basic rules of social etiquette and get ready to speak
about them.
***
Everyday social manners
Here are the essentials of everyday etiquette in everyday social life:
- Stand up whenever a woman enters a room when you are sitting,
and stand on them until she sits or goes.
- Stand up for men, too, for introductions, greetings, and leavetakings.
- Stand up when someone, man or woman, is trying to pass in front
of you while sitting in the theatre.
- Step out of the elevator (and out of the way), when someone
farther back wants to get out and you are blocking the door.
- Walk on the street-side of the sidewalk to "protect" your woman
companion.
***
Basic Rules for the Good Host
- Open the door for each guest and say something pleasant and
welcoming. Greet each guest warmly and individually.
- Introduce each person into the group and see that the conversation
gets started.
- Spend a little time with each guest, having at least a brief
conversation with everyone.
- Say an individual good night to each guest. Don't get involved in
a long doorway discussion.
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***
Basic Rules for the Good Guest
- The guest must shake hands with his host and hostess, in greeting
and parting.
- He must be pleasant to the other guests, knowing that an affront to
a guest is an affront to his host as well.
- He should spend a little time with his host and hostess.
- He should go when the going's good.
***
Basic rules of social etiquette.
- In public the best manners are the quietest. Try not to attract
attention to yourself.
- When speaking to a woman call her Miss or Mrs., then the last
name.
- Until she invites you to use her first name. In any case, it's her
privilege, not yours, so don't say, "Call me Johnny", or "May I call
you Mary?"
- Be careful of compliments. Give them in private, whenever
possible. To compliment one person in front of another may be
taken to mean that there is nothing to compliment the other about.
- Don't correct another's grammar or pronunciation, not even
indirectly.
- Don't use a lot of foreign words and phrases - unless your
pronunciation and usage are impeccable, and unless your listener
would use the same expression himself.
- Don't say, "Huh?" or "What?" when you mean, "What did you
say?" or "Sorry - I didn't hear what you said."
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- Don't say, "Stop me if you've heard this..." because no one ever
will stop you.
***
Basic Rules for a Visiting Guest
If you travel by train be sure you have the phone number of
your host in case you get lost. Don't call up simply to say you're at
the station: your phone call may sound like a demand to be picked
up.
- Arrive when you said you would, bearing a small present
for your hostess or the children. Or you may send a bread-andbutter present after the week-end is over.
- Don't arrive with any other surprises. If you can't visit
without your children or your dogs, and if they have not been
invited, don't accept the invitation. And if you have permission to
bring them, also bring whatever special supplies they will need.
Magic Words
Hearts like doors will open with ease
To very little keys;
And don’t forget that two are these:
“We thank you all,” and “If you please.”
An Essay.
Get ready to write an essay:
1. “ Our everyday social manners”
2. “ Other times, other manners”
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UNIT III. HINTS FOR …
Life is made up not of great sacrifices or duties, but of
little things, in which smiles and kindnesses, and small
obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve
the heart and secure comfort.
HINTS FOR A GOOD GUEST
The guest is expected to have a good time and his job is to
make his host happy. By doing so, the wise guest helps his host and
other guests to have a good time as well.
***
Invitation
The guest must reply immediately to all invitations. If you are
asked by telephone or in person, you must accept or refuse on
the spot. If by mail, you must reply within twenty-four hours.
When you, as a guest are to decline an invitation, you must
give the reason, and the reason must be serious.
Once you have accepted an invitation, you must live up to it
except for valid reasons.
If you must change plans take care to remove all suspicion
that you are breaking one date to accept another which is more
attractive.
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In general, the valid reasons involve duty (a business trip or a
business meeting or some matters beyond your prior control) or
incapacity.
A woman may decline the invitation because she doesn't feel
well, but a man has to be very sick, and in bed, before he can
cancel a date.
If you are going to be late, telephone ahead with explanations
and apologies. If you are going to have to leave early, say so at the
outset -so no one will later think that you left in order to escape a
dull evening.
Punctuality is particularly important at dinner parties and at
ceremonies. At weddings, for instance, to be punctual is to be
fifteen to thirty minutes early.
***
HINTS FOR THE HOST AT HOME
The wise host makes every guest feel like a guest-of-honor, but
he fusses over no one, spends no more time with one than another.
He provides good food, good drink and interesting company but he makes no point of any of them.
He foresees his guest's every need and wish, but not
obtrusively. He is alert, but he appears relaxed.
All these things should be accomplished subtlety, so that no
guest would ever think "What a good host", but "What a good time
I had."
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***
Guest List
To begin with invite people who will get along together. For a
small party, it is vital that they have common interests and
sympathies.
At a large party, you can take a little less care with the
invitations.
A good rule to follow is to be sure that everyone you have
invited knows (and likes) at least two other guests.
***
The way you should look
A man's clothes are a key to his character. You owe it to
yourself to dress well. If you believe that "clothes make the man",
dress well so your clothes will "make" the right man.
Here are the following check-points:
- Don't forget to look in the looking glass before you leave the
house.
- Collar of suit jacket - should fit low and close around the
neck, exposing about a half an inch of your shirt collar in the back.
- Sleeve of suit jacket - should expose about a half inch of
your shirt cuff when your arms hang loose, more when your arm is
bent.
An Essay.
Get ready to write an essay:
1. “Our manners must be appropriate to the situation”
2. “Tastes differ”
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UNIT IV. GOOD MANNERS.
“When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
English saying
The First Four Minutes
When do people decide whether or not they want to become
friends? During their first four minutes together. In his book
"Contact: The First Four Minutes", Dr. Leonard Zunin advises
anyone interested in starting a new friendship the following: "Every
time you meet someone in a social situation, give him your
undivided attention for four minutes. A lot of people's whole lives
would change if they did just that."
Note: First impressions count so much.
- Give personal attention to a man you're talking to.
- Be friendly, polite and businesslike.
- Use questions to encourage the conversation.
- Look interested while you listen.
***
Table manners.
At the table
An attractive table is a sign of the cook's or the host's pride and
respect for you.
1. Be punctual, or the meal may be spoilt.
2. Wash your hands before coming to table.
3. At home, or when you are with friends, offer to help lay or
clear the table.
4. Wait for the host or hostess to tell you where to sit.
5. In America, they invite others at the table to "Enjoy." In
France, they say, "Bon Appetit." Germans say, "Guten
Appetit", and Italians, "Buon Appetite" The British say
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Copyright ОАО «ЦКБ «БИБКОМ» & ООО «Aгентство Kнига-Cервис»
nothing.
6. Take your napkin and put it on your lap. Keep it there
during the meal and use it to wipe your hands or mouth
whenever necessary.
7. When there are several pieces of cutlery beside the plate,
you start on the outside for the first course.
8. Offer others before you help yourself.
9. Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table.
10. Ask the people around you kindly to pass things that are out
of your reach; then, thank them.
11. Whenever you are asked, pass things as quickly and as
kindly as possible.
12. After you have cut off one piece of food, lay your knife
down on the edge to the inside. Cut only one piece of food
at a time.
13. If you sneeze or cough while you are at the table, turn your
head away from the food and cover your mouth.
14. Try not to stuff your mouth full of food. Also, avoid talking
when you have something in your mouth.
15. If you need to take something out of your mouth, like a
bone, or a seed:
Carefully place it on your spoon. After you have put the bone,
or seed onto your spoon; empty it onto your plate.
16. It is not polite to leave a spoon in a tea cup. Put your spoon
on the saucer.
17. Don't eat from your knife.
18. Never read while eating.
19. While you are eating, put the knife and fork you are using
on the edge of your plate. Try not to lay them down on the
table at anytime.
20. After each course, the knife and fork should be laid side by
side in the middle of the plate handles to the right. This
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shows that you have finished and the plate can be removed.
If you leave the knife and fork apart, it will show that you
have not finished eating.
21. Hands should be kept in your lap when you are not eating.
22. Before you leave the table, remember to thank the person
who was kind enough to prepare your food.
23. If you are visiting a family, offer to help, for example
clearing the table and washing up the dishes after a meal.
***
Table manners in Britain
Speaking about table manners we must say that they are not
very strict in Britain, but it is considered rude to eat or to drink
noisily. At formal meals the cutlery is placed in the order in which
it will be used. The dessert fork or spoon are laid at the top of your
place setting. After each course the knife and the fork should be
laid side by side in the middle of the plate. This shows that you
have finished and the plate can be removed.
If you want to behave mannerly at table you should follow
some simple rules. Here they are:
- Keep your mouth closed when you eat.
- Use a knife and a fork. Hold them correctly.
- Don't take bread with a fork.
- Don't read at the table when you eat.
- Keep your elbows off the table.
- Don't say you don't like food.
It is considered impolite to smoke between courses unless your host
says otherwise. It is polite to ask for the permission before you
smoke in other people's homes. Today in Britain smoking is
forbidden in many public places: on the underground, on stations,
in shops and in cinemas.
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***
Ten good tips for keeping a friendship.
1) Communicate with your friend.
2) Be honest.
3) Be loyal.
4) Keep secrets unless your friend is in danger.
5) Be supportive.
6) Try to be fun and optimistic.
7) Remember that neither one of you is perfect.
8) Expect that your friend will sometimes disagree with you.
9) Do nice things for your friend.
10) Say good things about others.
Is there anything you can add?
POLITENESS
...Well, you can be polite. Good manners include saying
"please" whenever you ask for anything and "thank you" when
anybody does anything for you. Good manners include:
NOT spitting in public.
NOT walking round in crowds forcing people off the
pavement.
NOT dropping your empty crisp and sweet packets in the
street.
Not making a lot of noise in public, especially at night when
other people are sleeping.
***
A good manners Quiz
You are on a bus. After you take the last seat, an elderly woman
gets on the bus. You should:
a) get up and offer her your seat,
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b)
c)
d)
hide your face in a magazine or newspaper,
let her stand because she'll soon find a seat,
rationalize by thinking, "First come, first served".
***
Be sure you use these words while
communicating with other people.
Напишите эти слова и выражения на плакате и пользуйтесь
ими как можно чаще, общаясь друг с другом.
— Please.
— May I?
— Thank you.
— You are welcome.
— Take my seat.
— Let me share.
— Excuse me.
— You go first.
Let me help.
An Essay.
Get ready to write an essay:
1. “First impressions count so much”
2. “Each culture has its own system of etiquette”
Корректор Ю.Е.Стрыхарь
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