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The Daily Telegraph Review - March 31, 2018

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***
Saturday 31 March 2018
Review
A RT S , B O OK S , T E L E V I S I ON & R A DIO
Spring’s Hot 100
From Frida Kahlo at the V&A to the return of The Handmaid’s Tale – our critics pick the new season’s brightest highlights
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***
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
3
***
Contents
FILM
E X H I B I T I ON S
Simon Pegg’s
darkest hour
Claude Monet:
petrolhead
How the British star of
Spielberg’s latest lost his
soul in Hollywood
page 12
DE S IGN
Lucy Davies on the great
impressionist’s need for speed
Sputnik sweetheart
page 18
Jonathan Glancey traces our love affair with Soviet style
page 14
VIEWFINDER
HAUTE
COUTURE
SOIRÉE (1935)
BY BRASSAÏ
The Hungarian
photographer Gyula
Halász – or Brassaï, as he
is better known – came
to prominence in the
inter-war years when,
like many fellow Eastern
Europeans, he settled in
Paris. While working as
a sculptor and journalist
(the picture here, now
on show in Madrid, was
taken on one of his
magazine assignnents)
he became friends with
artists such as Picasso
and Dalí, and with the
writer Henry Miller.
“The photographer
has a sense of the magic
beneath the surface of
reality”, he said, and it
was among the dingy
corners of the French
capital’s down-at-heel
Montparnasse district
that he put this into
practice, bestowing
upon its petty criminals,
streetwalkers, and
covert lovers a fleeting
dignity.
© ESTATE BRASSAÏ SUCCESSION, PARIS
fundacionmapfre.org
COVER Frida Kahlo on a Bench, 1938, by Nickolas Muray © Nickolas Muray Photo Archives. The image features in Frida Kahlo: Making Her Self Up at the V&A, London SW7 (vam.ac.uk) from June 16
4
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
THE HOT 100
APRIL
7
From Lily James to ‘Lohengrin’, ‘On Chesil Beach’ to ‘An
Octoroon’, Harry Styles to ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’ – our critics
present a definitive culture calendar for the next three months
APRIL
1
THEATRE
Quiz
James Graham’s account of
the “coughing Major” scandal,
which rocked Who Wants to be a
Millionaire? in 2001, locks its
audience-interactive elements
together to form a dazzling
examination of the way our
choices are manipulated.
Noël Coward Theatre, London
WC2 (0844 482 5140), until June 16
TELEVISION
Ordeal by Innocence
This three-part Agatha Christie
adaptation stars Anna Chancellor
as a wealthy philanthropist who is
murdered. Anthony Boyle
replaces Ed Westwick as the
adopted son accused of the crime.
BBC One
THEATRE
Chicago
Sarah Soetaert, Josefina Gabrielle
and Ruthie Henshall join
Academy Award-winner Cuba
Gooding Jr for a fresh revival of
Kander and Ebb’s international
hit, set in sleazy and murderous
Prohibition-era Chicago.
Phoenix Theatre, London WC2
(0844 871 7629), booking until
Oct 6
THEATRE
The Way of the World
Congreve’s late Restoration
comedy, centring on imperious
Lady Wishfort’s suppression of
her niece’s romantic inclinations,
gets a rare revival, directed by
James Macdonald, with Haydn
Gwynne as Lady W.
Donmar Warehouse, London WC2
(020 3282 3808), until May 26
4
DANCE
Scottish Ballet –
Highland Fling
Matthew Bourne’s latest witty
take on a ballet classic targets La
Sylphide, the magical (but also
cautionary) 1830s tale of a young
Scottish fellow who foolishly
allows his head to be turned on
the eve of his wedding day.
Theatre Royal, Glasgow
(scottishballet.co.uk), until April 7,
and touring
5
BOOKS
France: a History from
Gaul to de Gaulle by John
Julius Norwich
John Julius Norwich has dealt with
France, tangentially, in his
histories of the Normans and of the
Mediterranean. Here, he devotes
himself wholly to telling the story
of that land – where he grew up –
in his inimitable style.
John Murray
THEATRE
Tina: The Musical
Adrienne Warren stars as Tina
Turner in a new jukebox musical,
directed by Phyllida Lloyd.
Aldwych Theatre, London WC2
(0845 200 7981), booking until
Dec 15
6
FILM
Wonderstruck
Adapted from Brian
Selznick’s graphic
aphic
novel, Todd
Haynes’s film
m tells
the story of three
hree
children – two
wo of
them deaf – who
are yearning to find
their place in the
world. Julianne
ne Moore
and Michelle Williams
head the adult
lt cast.
POP
Manic Streett
Preachers: Resistance
is Futile
th big ideas
Crammed with
and even bigger
ger
melodies, the
e 13th album
from the Welsh
sh
firebrands proves
oves that
they remain as
impassioned as ever.
Columbia
TELEVISION
N
The City and
d the City
’s
Toni Grisoni’s
adaptation off China
Miéville’s mind-bending
nd-bending
l, set in a
fantasy novel,
fictional European
opean
city-state, stars
ars David
Morrissey as a police
inspector who
ho investigates the
murder of a student
tudent and
becomes
embroiled in
political
turmoil.
BBC Two
Harry Styles
The One Direction dreamboat
has made a real effort to establish
musical credibility with a retro
singer-songwriter solo album and
intimate shows featuring his
Americana band.
Genting Arena, Birmingham
(harrystylestour.com), and touring
9
LOOK
THIS WAY
Lily James stars
in The Guernsey
Literary and
Potato Peel Pie
Society; below
left, Rodin’s The
Age of Bronze
(1876) will go
on show at the
British Museum
EXHIBITIONS
Monet and Architecture
The great Impressionist’s
first big London exhibition in 20
years is also the first anywhere on
his fascination with architecture.
(See feature, p 18.)
National Gallery, London WC2
(0800 912 6958), until July 29
12
DANCE
English National Ballet
– Voices of America
ENB serves up a new, US-themed
mixed bill, featuring the first
creation by William Forsythe for a
UK ballet company in more than
two decades, as well as a reworking
of Canadian choreographer Aszure
Barton’s Fantastic Beings.
Sadler’s Wells, London EC1 (020
7863 8000), until April 21
COMEDY
Count Arthur Strong is Alive
and Unplugged
His sitcom may have been axed but
the malapropistic elderly showbiz
gent (the alter-ego of sexagenerian
Steve Delaney) dodders on,
dispensing artful piffle.
Lyceum Theatre, Crewe
(countarthurstrong.com), and
touring
BOOKS
Rosie: Scenes from a Vanished
Life by Rose Tremain
The author of such quietly brilliant
Restoration (1989) and
novels as Restor
(1999) always
Music and Silence
Sil
out of her
keeps autobiography
autobio
fiction, saying:
saying “I find drawing
on my own
ow life dull.” Now,
her first memoir,
in he
Tremain tackles it
Trem
head-on, tracing her
head
early life from infancy
earl
to boarding school.
Chatto & Windus
C
POP
Dua Lipa
Last year, the
22 year-old was
w the UK’s
most-stream
most-streamed female artist.
Expect a major
arena
m
extravaganza
from a serious
extravaga
talent bidding
for genuine
bidd
superstardom.
superstard
SSE Hydro, Glasgow (dualipa.
touring
com), and to
OPERA
Lady Macbeth
Macbe of Mtsensk
Richard Jones’s
Jones production of
Shostakovich’s tragic satire
Covent Garden
returns to Co
with Eva-Maria
Eva-Mar Westbroek
repeating her interpretation
of the title role.
rol
House, London WC2
Royal Opera H
(020 7304 4000),
400 until April 27
18
THEATRE
Absolute
Hell
Joe Hill-Gibbins
revives
Rodney
revi
Ackland’s
Acklan portrait of a
BBC/MAMMOTH SCREEN/ACL/JAMES FISHER/JOSS BARRATT
Make your spring
go with a swing
POP
despair-soaked Soho drinking den
in 1945. The cast includes Charles
Edwards and Kate Fleetwood.
National’s Lyttelton Theatre,
London SE1 (020 7452 3000), until
June 16
19
POP
The Streets
Mike Skinner, the
groundbreaking British rap star,
revives The Streets for the first
time since 2011, performing songs
from their classic albums Original
Pirate Material (2002) and A Grand
Don’t Come for Free (2004).
O2 Academy, Birmingham
(thestreetstour.com), and touring
OPERA
Salome
Richard Strauss’s shockingly
erotically charged adaptation of
Oscar Wilde’s pseudo-biblical
drama is presented by Opera
North in a concert staging.
Jennifer Holloway, the American
soprano, plays the pouting teenage
nymphet with a dark passion for
John the Baptist.
Town Hall, Leeds (0113 243 9999),
until April 25, and touring
20
FILM
The Guernsey
Literary and Potato
Peel Pie Society
Lily James uncovers tragic secrets
on windblown coastal paths in this
irresistible romantic mystery from
Mike Newell, adapted from the
book-group favourite by Mary Ann
Shaffer and Annie Barrows.
THEATRE
Present Laughter
Comedian Rufus Hound takes the
role of successful, self-obsessed
actor Garry Essendine in Noël
Coward’s archly self-aware portrait
of thespian vanity. Sean Foley
directs.
Chichester Festival Theatre (01243
781 312), until May 12
THEATRE
An Ideal Husband
Father and son Edward and
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
Freddie Fox play fictional father
and son in Oscar Wilde’s dark
comedy of blackmail and
dangerous idealism. Directed by
Jonathan Church.
Vaudeville Theatre, London WC2
(01225 448 844), until July 14;
Theatre Royal, Bath (01225 448844),
July 18-Aug 4
21
CLASSICAL
Mark Simpson Cello
Concerto
Since winning BBC Young
Musician of the Year at the age of
17, Mark Simpson has ripened into
a composer of white-hot expressive
force. His new Cello Concerto,
composed for Leonard
Elschenbroich, is eagerly awaited.
Bridgewater Hall, Manchester (0161
907 9000)
THEATRE
Mood Music
Joe Penhall’s latest – billed as “a sly,
wry exploration of the dark side of
the music industry” – is directed by
Roger Michell, with Ben Chaplin in
the lead role as a record producer.
Old Vic, London SE1 (0844 871 7628),
until June 16
23
TELEVISION
Westworld
In 2016, Westworld took
the “theme-park-populated-byandroids” premise of the 1973 Yul
Brynner film and turned it into
something bigger, darker and more
exciting. Its star-studded cast,
including Anthony Hopkins, Ed
Harris and Evan Rachel Wood,
return for a second series.
Sky Atlantic
25
THEATRE
Hamlet
Artistic director Michelle
Terry launches her Globe career
by tackling Shakespeare’s
masterpiece; but will she also be
playing the Dane?
Shakespeare’s Globe, London SE1
(020 7401 9919), until Aug 26
26
CLASSICAL
Benjamin Grosvenor
The boy wonder of
British classical pianism plays an
intriguing programme, which
stretches from Bach and Brahms to
Berg and Ravel in one of several
eye-catching musical events to
celebrate the reopening of the
Southbank’s Queen Elizabeth Hall,
Queen Elizabeth Hall, London SE1
(020 3879 9555)
THEATRE
Chess
First West End revival since the
1986 premiere for this epic tale of
Cold War intrigue, love and chess,
with music from Abba’s Benny
Andersson and Björn Ulvaeus, and
lyrics by Tim Rice.
London Coliseum, London WC2
(020 7845 9300), until June 2
EXHIBITIONS
WHODUNIT?
Bill Nighy and Anna
Chancellor lead the
cast of Agatha
Christie’s Ordeal by
Innocence; top
right, Dua Lipa
Rodin and the art of
Ancient Greece
The great French sculptor first
experienced the power of Greek
sculpture, here, in the British
Museum. Major works from Paris’s
Musée Rodin are shown beside the
Greek originals that inspired them.
British Museum, London WC1 (020
7323 8000), until July 29
27
OPERA
Eugene Onegin
A new staging of
Tchaikovsky’s romance with
Natalya Romaniw and Samuel Dale
Johnson in leading roles.
Theatre Royal, Glasgow (0844
871 7647), until May 5, and
touring
TELEVISION
The Woman in White
This is the third time that the
BBC has adapted the Wilkie
Collins classic. Ben Hardy takes on
the role of Walter Hartright, the
Victorian teacher who encounters
a mysterious woman dressed in
white. Jessie Buckley also stars.
BBC One, exact date TBC
POP
Janelle Monáe: Dirty
Computer
The long-awaited third
album from the Atlantabased Afrofuturist funk
queen is a dazzling, feminist
concept album, strongly
influenced by her late
mentor, Prince.
Atlantic
FILM
Avengers: Infinity War
Marvel ties up Phase Three
of its superheroic romanfleuve with help from galactic
villain Thanos (Josh Brolin),
who’s apparently ready to
smite certain key members of
the studio’s now-bursting-at-theseams ensemble.
TELEVISION
The Handmaid’s Tale
Few dramas had a bigger impact
last year than this Margaret
Atwood adaptation, starring
Elisabeth Moss. The second
series will continue the story of
a totalitarian United States
where the few remaining
fertile women are forced into
sexual servitude.
Channel 4, exact date TBC
CONTINUED ON PAGE 6 J
CO
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Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
THE HOT 100
MAY
MAY
1
THEATRE
Nightfall
Having received rave reviews
as both a novelist and playwright,
Barney Norris here presents an
on-stage portrait of life on a farm
outside Winchester. Laurie
Sansom directs.
The Bridge Theatre, London SE1
(0843 208 1846), until May 26
2
JAZZ
Cheltenham Jazz Festival
On a bill with Nigel Kennedy
and saxophonist Courtney Pine,
are female vocalists of every
stylistic hue, from the raunchy
blues of Beth Hart to the more
ethereal tones of Hannah Grace.
Various venues, Cheltenham
(01242 850 270), until May 7
EXHIBITIONS
Shape of Light: 100 Years of
Photography and Abstract Art
Featuring works by, among many
others, André Kertész and Bridget
Riley, this exhibition explores the
parallel histories and surprisingly
fruitful interactions of abstract
art and photography.
Tate Modern, London SE1 (020
7887 8888), until Oct 14
3
BOOKS
Aristotle’s Way: How
Ancient Wisdom Can
Change Your Life by Edith Hall
Edith Hall has recast Aristotle’s
text into everyday language, and
applied his lessons on everything
from happiness to, for instance,
resisting temptation, writing a job
application or using the Greek’s
chart of Virtues and Vices to
analyse one’s character.
Bodley Head
COMEDY
Ivo Graham: Educated Guess
Of his schooling, this Old Etonian
says, “You get pigeonholed but,
on the plus side, you do get a
pigeon hole”. Graham’s punchlines are always worth the wait.
Glee Club, Nottingham
g
(ivograham.com),), and touring
BOOKS
The Language of
Kindness: A Nurse’s
urse’s
Story by Christie tie Watson
Watson spent 20
0
years working ass a
nurse before
writing Tiny
Sunbirds Far
Away, which won
on
the 2011 Costa
First Novel
Award. Now, she
e
tells the story off
her own nursing
g
years, taking us
from birth to
death via intensive
ive
care.
Chatto & Winduss
RED-HANDED
Alfred Molina as
Mark Rothko with
Alfred Enoch in Red
4
FILM
Tully
Charlize Theron reunites
with the Young Adult team of
director Jason Reitman and
screenwriter Diablo Cody, this
time as a wiped-out mother of
three, just trying to get through
one day at a time, whose salvation
arrives in the form of a millennial
Mary Poppins, played by
Mackenzie Davis.
THEATRE
Red
Alfred Molina reprises his critically
acclaimed performance as Mark
Rothko in John Logan’s twohander, directed once again by
Michael Grandage.
Wyndham’s Theatre, London WC2
(0844 482 5120), until July 28
FILM
Lean on Pete
Britain’s Andrew Haigh swaps the
drizzly Norfolk of 45 Years for the
sprawling American west in this
evocative drama about a drifting
teen (star-making work from
Charlie Plummer) who finds
camaraderie and purpose on the
horse-racing circuit.
TELEVISION
Safe
Created by Harlan Coben, the
novelist, and written by Danny
Brocklehurst (Come Home), this
eight-part series stars Michael C
Hall as a widower living in a gated
community whose daughter
mysteriously disappears.
Netflix, exact date TBC
8
BOOKS
Barracoon: The Story of
the Last Slave by Zora
Neale Hurston
Zora Neale Hurston’s 1937 novel,
Their Eyes Were Watching God, has
become a classic. Now comes a
never-before-published work, the
biography of Cudjo Lewis, a man
who had been smuggled out of
Africa as “Black Cargo” and kept in
slavery in Alabama from 1860 until
he was freed after the Civil War.
HQ
10
OPERA
Lessons in Love and
Violence
global success with
Following their gl
Written on Skin, George
Benjamin and Martin
Crimp present
their latest
pr
collaboration.
collabor
Royal
Roya Opera House,
London
WC2 (020
Lon
7304
730 4000), until
May
Ma 26
TELEVISION
T
T Bridge
The
When we last saw
W
D
Detective Saga
Noren (Sofia Helin)
No
in this superior
Scandi-noir, she
Sc
had been accused
ha
killing her mother.
of ki
Now she returns for
one llast case.
BBC Two, date TBC
13
TELEVISION
Patrick
Melrose
David Nicholls is
adaptin
adapting the novels of
CLIVE BARDA
J CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5
Edward St Aubyn for this series
starring none other than Benedict
Cumberbatch as the troubled
playboy.
Sky Atlantic
17
BOOKS
Arnhem: The Battle for
the Bridges, 1944 by
Antony Beevor
The esteemed author of Stalingrad
(1998) and Ardennes 1944 (2015)
takes on Field Marshal
Montgomery’s hapless Operation
Market Garden, which aimed to
end the war in 1944 with a massive
aerial assault on Europe.
Viking
TELEVISION
Hatton Garden
Timothy Spall leads the cast in Jeff
Pope’s four-parter about the 2015
Hatton Garden heist, which saw a
group of ageing burglars loot
£14 million worth of jewellery.
ITV, exact date TBC
DANCE
Royal Ballet – Swan Lake
Putting his own twist on Ivanov
and Petipa’s time-honoured
choreography is Liam Scarlett, a
fine and musically aware neoclassicist.
Royal Opera House, London WC2
(020 7304 4000), in rep until
June 21
18
FILM
On Chesil Beach
Ian McEwan’s novel about
a disastrous honeymoon in 1962
becomes Dominic Cooke’s feature
debut, with the newlyweds played
by Saoirse Ronan and Billy Howle.
THEATRE
Killer Joe
A welcome chance to catch Tracy
Letts’s darkly funny thriller of
plotted familial murder and
unexpected romance in a Texas
trailer park, with Orlando Bloom as
the sleazy titular contract killer.
Simon Evans directs.
Trafalgar Studios, London SW1
(0844 871 7632), until Aug 18
19
OPERA
Madama Butterfly
Annilese Miskimmon’s
production of Puccini’s tear-jerker,
set in an Americanised Japan
during the post-Hiroshima era, will
open the Glyndebourne season.
Olga Busuioc sings Cio-Cio-San.
Glyndebourne, near Lewes (01273
815 000), until July 18
21
COMEDY
Andy Hamilton: Change
Management
Ever wondered where all the
sparrows went? Or how we ended
up working longer hours? Have I
Got News for You regular Hamilton
explores how change shapes us all.
Alban Arena, St Albans (ents24.com),
and touring
TELEVISION
The Split
Nicola Walker, Stephen Mangan
and Meera Syal star in Abi
Morgan’s drama about modern
marriage and the legacy of divorce,
with Walker playing the lawyer
responsible for handling Syal’s
character’s split from her multimillionaire husband.
BBC One, exact date TBC
22
DANCE
Rambert – Life Is
a Dream
Britain’s flagship contemporary
dance company tackles a brandnew work by Kim Brandstrup.
Based on the play by Pedro
BOOKS
The King and the Catholics:
The Fight for Rights, 1829 by
Antonia Fraser
History after the Restoration tends
to gloss over any bitterness
between Protestants and Catholics
in the British Isles. Fraser’s latest
book sets the record straight,
tracing the story of Catholic
repression in Britain from the 1780
anti-Papist Gordon Riots to the
Emancipation Bill in 1829, which
allowed Catholics to vote.
W&N
ROAR TALENT The Gnat and the Lion (1970) by Edward Bawden
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
25
THEATRE
Tartuffe
Christopher Hampton
adapts Molière’s comedy of
religious hypocrisy, relocating the
action to Los Angeles, where a
media tycoon falls under the spell
of an American evangelist.
Theatre Royal Haymarket, London
SW1 (020 7930 8800), until July 28
FILM
Solo: A Star Wars Story
The latest Lucasfilm spin-off charts
your favourite Corellian smuggler’s
early years, with Alden Ehrenreich
as Harrison Ford minus half a
century, give or take.
POP
BBC Music: The Biggest
Weekend
In the absence of Glastonbury, the
BBC is putting on a huge event,
which reaches all four corners of
the British Isles. It boasts a stellar
line-up including Ed Sheeran and
Taylor Swift (Swansea); Manic
Street Preachers and Franz
Ferdinand (Belfast); Liam Gallagher
and Paloma Faith (Coventry); Noel
Gallagher and Emeli Sandé (Perth).
Various venues (bbc.co.uk), until
May 27
TELEVISION
Calderón de la Barca, the 17thcentury Spaniard, Life Is a Dream
tells of a long-incarcerated man’s
single day of freedom.
Sadler’s Wells, London EC1 (020
7863 8000), until May 26
POP
The Rolling Stones
The Stones have been on taut,
sinuous form since their 50th
anniversary revival. Here, they
bring their No Filter tour to
stadiums for their
first British shows
in five years.
London Stadium,
E20 (rollingstones.
com), and May 25
23
EXHIBITIONS
Edward Bawden
Best known today
for his charming
images of English
life, Edward
Bawden (1903-89)
wasn’t only a
delightful
illustrator but one
of the most
influential artists
of his generation.
Dulwich Picture
Gallery, London
SE21 (020 8693
5254), until Sept 9
24
EXHIBITIONS
Life in Motion:
Egon Schiele/
Francesca Woodman
Complementary exhibitions by two
tragic artists, both preoccupied
with the power of the human body:
the tortured Viennese painter
Schiele is placed alongside the US
photographer Woodman, who
ended her life in 1981.
Tate Liverpool (0151 702 7400),
until Sept 23
FAMILY
FORTUNES
Above, Madama
Butterfly opens
Glyndebourne;
below Florence
Pugh as Cordelia
with Anthony
Hopkins in the
BBC’s King Lear
King Lear
Anthony Hopkins will play Lear in
a modern-day totalitarian Britain,
with Emma Thompson, Emily
Watson and Florence Pugh
appearing as his three daughters.
Richard Eyre directs.
BBC Two, exact date tbc
FILM
The Breadwinner
Nora Twomey, co-director of The
Secret of Kells, returns with an
Academy Award-nominated
animated adaptation of Deborah
Ellis’s children’s novel. In it, a
young girl living in Afghanistan
under the Taliban must dress as a
boy to support her family.
THEATRE
The Chalk Garden
Penelope Keith and Amanda Root
star in Enid Bagnold’s comically
astute, 1955 play about a governess
taken on by a Sussex grande dame
to cultivate the latter’s disturbed
grand-daughter.
Chichester Festival Theatre (01243
781312), until June 16
POP
All Points East
This new London festival boasts a
fantastic line-up of contemporary
music spread across two weekends.
Headliners include Björk, LCD
Soundsystem and the xx.
Victoria Park, London E3
(allpointseastfestival.com), until
June 3
26
EXHIBITIONS
Giuseppe Penone
Best known for his
monumental works with trees –
whether cast in bronze or carved
and hollowed out – the leading
Italian sculptor seems a perfect fit
for YSP’s rolling acres in his largest
British show to date.
Yorkshire Sculpture Park, (01924
832 631), until April 28 2019
CONTINUED ON PAGE 8 J
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Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
THE HOT 100
JUNE
JUNE
1
OPERA
Capriccio
Swedish soprano Miah
Persson sings the Countess in
Tim Albery’s production of
Richard Strauss’s swansong.
Garsington Opera at Wormsley,
near Princes Risborough (01865
361636), until June 28
FILM
L’Amant Double
Director François Ozon channels
Brian De Palma in this erotic
thriller, in which twin therapists
fall for the same patient.
4
POP
Bill Murray
The much loved comedian
offers unique interpretations of
American literary and musical
classics accompanied by a classical
chamber trio.
Southbank Centre, London SE1
(0203 879 9555)
5
EXHIBITIONS
Aftermath: Art in the
Wake of World War One
The impact of the First World
War on art is explored through
the works of British, German and
French artists including George
Grosz and C R W Nevinson.
Tate Britain, London SW1 (020 7887
8888), until Sept 16
6
POP
Jay Z & Beyoncé
Beyoncé’s last album was a
critique of her cheating husband.
Jay Z’s response was an apology.
Will this be a stadium-scale
marriage counselling session?
Principality Stadium, Cardiff
(livenation.com), and touring
7
COMEDY
Doug Stanhope
This fiercely articulate,
nihilistic comic made a name for
himself in the 2000s by speaking
for disenfranchised America. It
will be fascinating to see how he
responds to the Trump era.
O2 Brixton Academy, London SW9
(dougstanhope.com), and touring
OPERA
Lohengrin
Wagner’s most lyrical work is
presented in a new production
directed by David Alden. A starry
cast includes Klaus Florian Vogt as
the mysterious Swan Knight.
Royal Opera House, London WC2
(027 304 4000), until July 1
BOOKS
The Female Persuasion by Meg
Wolitzer
Meg Wolitzer’s fans describe her
as a funnier Jonathan Franzen.
Her latest novel is about how
someone’s talent can be fanned
into flame by the right person.
Chatto & Windus
THEATRE
An Octoroon
Branden Jacobs-Jenkins adapts
Dion Boucicault’s 19th-century
melodrama to create what the
New York Times called “this
decade’s most eloquent statement
on race in America today”.
National’s Dorfman Theatre,
London SE1 (020 7452 3000), until
July 18
BOOKS
The Mars Room by Rachel
Kushner
Rachel Kushner follows her 2013
hit The Flamethrowers with a
contemporary novel set in an
American women’s prison, where
bleak allegiances are formed over
liquor brewed in socks.
Jonathan Cape
FILM
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
After the box-office bonanza last
time, the dinosaur franchise makes
a promising switch of director,
from Colin Trevorrow to J A
Bayona, who will hopefully
marshal the action with a little
more flair.
8
EXHIBITIONS
Splendours of the
Subcontinent
The Royal Collection will display
ROYAL COLLECTION TRUST; CAPITAL PICTURES; WIREIMAGE;
J CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
Indian art treasures from several
centuries – many of them
presented to Prince Albert Edward,
the future Edward VII, only the
second member of the royal family
to visit India in 1875-6.
Queen’s Gallery, Buckingham
Palace, London SW1 (0303 123 7301),
until Oct 14
CLASSICAL
Aldeburgh Festival
Aldeburgh celebrates its first 70
years with a twin focus on
Bernstein and Britten, and a look
WHERE’S
CLOONEY?
The starry,
all-female cast
of Ocean’s 8
back to Britain in the Forties.
Various venues, Aldeburgh (01728
687 100), until June 24
TELEVISION
Trust
Danny Boyle returns to the small
screen with this drama series in
which Donald Sutherland stars as
real-life oil tycoon Jean Paul Getty,
whose grandson is kidnapped and
held for ransom.
Sky Atlantic, exact date TBC
OPERA
Agrippina
Walter Sutcliffe directs a new
version of this early work of
Handel, focused on Nero’s
conniving mother, sung by Anna
Bonitatibus.
The Grange, near Alresford (01962
791020), until July 6
12
DANCE
Birmingham Royal
Ballet
BRB treats both London and its
home town to two programmes.
In the capital, there’s a fine staging
of Romeo and Juliet, with
choreography by Kenneth
MacMillan, followed by a mixed
bill embracing Twyla Tharp’s
exhilarating In the Upper Room,
former BRB dancer Alexander
Whitley’s Kin., and a new piece by
George Williamson (June 15, 16).
The following week, Birmingham
gets the modern pieces first
(June 20-23), followed by the
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
Tony award-winning performance
from Kelli O’Hara as Anna, the
Victorian schoolteacher brought to
Siam by the king (Ken Watanabe)
to tutor his brood, with romantic,
East-meets-West consequences.
London Palladium, W1 (020 7087
7757), until Sept 29
22
FILM
Ocean’s 8
An all-female spin-off
from the Ocean’s series, fronted by
Sandra Bullock, Cate Blanchett,
Rihanna and Anne Hathaway.
EXHIBITIONS
Dorothea Lange: Politics of
Seeing
The first UK retrospective for the
American photographer whose
Depression-era pictures remain
some of the most powerful images
of the 20th century.
Barbican Art Gallery,
London EC2 (020
7638 8891), until
Sept 2
23
THEATRE
The
Lieutenant
of Inishmore
Martin McDonagh’s
satire on Irish
republican terrorism
gets a fresh revival
from Michael Grandage,
starring Aidan Turner.
Noël Coward Theatre (0844
482 5141), until Sept 8
OPERA
Roméo et Juliette
To mark Gounod’s
star-cross’d lovers (June 26-30).
Sadler’s Wells, London EC1 (020
7863 8000); Birmingham
Hippodrome (0844 338 5000)
POP
Taylor Swift
The ambitious singer-songwriter
superstar finally cut all ties with
her country music origins to
embrace modern electronic dance
ear s Reputation.
pop on last year’s
um. Manchester
Etihad Stadium.
om), and touring
(taylorswift.com),
16
TELEVISION
LEVISION
A Very
ery English Scandal
gh Grant and Ben
Hugh
Whishaw starr in Russell T Davies’s
drama about Jeremy Thorpe,
leader of the Liberal Party, whose
tempts to keep his
desperate attempts
orman Scott a secret
affair with Norman
e standing trial for
led to Thorpe
nd
conspiracy and
o murder.
incitement to
act date TBC
BBC One, exact
EXHIBITIONS
NS
Christo &
JeanneClaude
Best known for wrapping up
rom buildings to
everything from
stretches of sea, Christo and his
late wife and collaborator, JeanneClaude (who died in 2009) are the
eir first major London
subject of their
979.
show since 1979.
allery, London W2
Serpentine Gallery,
075), until Sept 9
(020 7402 6075),
LINES OF
BEAUTY
Splendours of the
Subcontinent;
Birmingham
Royal Ballet’s
In the Upper
Room, below
THEATRE
The Jungle
In Stephen Daldry’s acclaimed
production, Joe Murphy and Joe
Robertson recreate the fragile,
fraught world of the Calais
“jungle” in the run-up to the
arrival of the bulldozers in 2016.
Playhouse Theatre, London WC2
(0844 871 7631), until Nov 3
EXHIBITIONS
Frida Kahlo: M
Making Her
Self Up
The powerful im
image of
Mexican painter Frida Kahlo
is explored throu
through 200
paintings, items of clothing
and intimate poss
possessions.
V&A, London SW7 (020 7942
2000), until Nov 4
19
JAZZ
Wynton Marsalis
M
The world
world’s most
celebrated jazz trum
trumpeter shares
the bill with the rem
remarkable
musician Clarence Ad
Adoo, who
suffered a life-changin
life-changing car
accident and now pla
plays a breathcontrolled digital tru
trumpet.
Barbican, London EC2
E (020
7638 8891)
21
THEATRE
T
T King
The
a
and I
A revival
revi
of the
Rod
Rodgers and
H
Hammerstein
classic with a
Contributors:
Dominic
Cavendish,
Rupert
Christiansen,
Robbie Collin,
Catherine Gee,
Rupert
Hawksley, Ivan
Hewett, Mark
Hudson, Neil
McCormick,
Iona McLaren,
Mark Monahan
and Tim Robey
bicentenary year, Patrick Mason
directs a new production of his
full-blooded adaptation of
Shakespeare’s tragedy.
Grange Park Opera, West Horsley
(01962 737373), until July 6
CLASSICAL
East Neuk Festival
Wonderful but unfashionable
pianist Christian Zacharias and
top-rank French cellist JeanGuihen Queyras play in the tiny
white-washed churches, which
make this festival so intimate.
Various venues, East Neuk, Fife
(0131 473 2000), until July 1
28
EXHIBITIONS
Michael Jackson: On
the Wall
Coinciding with what would have
been the singer’s 60th birthday,
this exhibition explores his
influence on visual art, from
his first portrait by Andy
Warhol, to becoming the
most widely depicted
cultural figure in
contemporary art.
National Portrait
Gallery, London WC2
(020 7306 0055), until
Oct 21
TOGETHER
ON TOUR
Pop power
couple Beyoncé
and Jay Z will hit
the road in June
29
FILM
Patrick
A scatterbrained woman
inherits a naughty
pug in the first post-Ab
Fab movie from director
Mandie Fletcher. Jennifer
Saunders and her daughter,
Beattie Edmundson, star.
9
10
***
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
SIMON HEFFER
HINTERLAND
Fancy taking yourself to the Eternal City without
leaving your living room? I’ve got just the ticket…
S
ome music is so
overwhelming that it
can be hard to take in.
For certain people, a
Wagner opera might
have that effect, or a
great devotional work
by Elgar. But the piece
that always gets me is an orchestral
work of stunning brilliance by the
Italian composer Ottorino Respighi
called Pini di Roma, The Pines of
Rome.
Respighi was born in Bologna in
1879 and is one of the greatest artists
that magnificent city has ever
produced. He is underappreciated now – he died in
WHEN IN
1936, far too young – but Pini
ROME
di Roma is believed to have
Viale di Villa
been recorded more than 100
Borghese, by
times. Just over 20 minutes
composer also wrote a part for
Armando
long, its brilliance lies not
the organ, played on the pedals,
Spadinius
only in its innovative
to give the sensation in the
orchestration (including a
concert hall that the ground
piano, glockenspiel, flugelhorns and an was shaking as the army approached:
organ) but in its astonishing ability to
and as it marches past the listener, the
summon up the Roman landscape on a
sound becomes almost deafening in its
summer’s day, and to make it
might. No wonder Mussolini, in power
imaginable even to someone who has
when Respighi wrote the work, was
never visited the city.
said to adore the work. I can think of
Respighi had won acclaim in 1916
nothing in Puccini, Verdi or any other
with another tone-poem, Fontane di
Italian composer that mythologises
Roma, the Fountains of Rome, in which Italy’s idea of itself or of its past as
he depicted four different fountains at
sublimely as this does.
different times of day; and, after the
he first performance, in Rome in
sensation caused internationally by
December 1924, was itself a
Pini di Roma, he wrote a third tonetriumph, and the work soon
poem, Feste Romane, Roman Festivals,
entered the repertoire. Toscanini, an
in 1928. But the Pines is his
old friend of the composer, gave its
masterpiece.
first American performance just over a
Like the Fountains, it comprises four
year later, in January 1926, in his first
short movements. The first, the Pines
concert with the New York
of the Villa Borghese, depicts children
Philharmonic. During the ecstatic
playing wildly under the trees near the
ovation, he went into the wings to find
villa and singing a nursery rhyme. It is
Respighi, who was present, joking that
followed by two slow movements: in
he should accompany Toscanini back
the former, the Pines near a Catacomb,
on stage “to share in my success”.
Respighi portrays a darker, cooler
Respighi gave the second US
place, and draws on his studies of
performance the next day with the
ancient Italy to echo hymn-tunes and
Philadelphia Orchestra.
the chanting of priests.
The 100 recordings are accounted
In the latter, the Pines of the
for not least by the work’s enduring
Janiculum, the setting is the Temple of
popularity in America – and when
Janus at moonlight, and represented a
one hears it, one hears at once the
bold innovation in classical music. In
source of inspiration for so many
the score, Respighi specifies that a
Hollywood composers of the next
certain recording (made on the
two decades: the Janiculum
Janiculum) of a nightingale singing
especially resembles a soundtrack.
should be played on a gramophone at
Of those hundred recordings, two are
the end of the movement.
for me indispensable. Toscanini
The climax of the work – though to
recorded it with the NBC symphony
call it even that somewhat understates
orchestra in 1949, and the RCA Victor
its magnificence – is the Pines of the
CD of it is a reproduction of the highest
Appian Way. It depicts a Roman army,
quality: so much so that one can hardly
returned from conquest in North
believe it is in mono. Then, in 1984,
Africa, marching up the Via Appia to
Riccardo Muti recorded it for EMI with
Rome for its triumph. The movement
the Philadelphia Orchestra, and made
begins quietly, but with a relentless
full use of the recording techniques
rhythm depicts the progress of the
available to a conductor and an
soldiers; and the dynamic alters almost
orchestra in the stereo age. Above a
stealthily, becoming louder and louder,
certain level of volume one can
as the army comes closer. The rhythm
imagine, in the finale, that one is
develops a swagger. Flugelhorns
marching with the Romans. Unless one
imitate the buccine, the bugles of the
lives in remote isolation, it is one to save
Roman Army, and evoke an exoticism
for when the neighbours are out.
and a sense of the ancient. The
GETTY IMAGES/DEAGOSTINI
T
11
12
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
FILM
SIMON PEGG
READY,
SET, GO
‘My thirties were
quite a dark period’
Simon Pegg went from
Channel 4 to Hollywood and
lost his ‘soul’ along the way.
He talks to Elizabeth Day
S
imon Pegg was out for
dinner with friends
when the call came
through on his mobile
phone. It was Steven
Spielberg, offering Pegg a role in
his new film.
He went to stand in the
restaurant stairwell for some
privacy. It wasn’t the ideal
location in which to take a call
from his childhood hero, the
director of perhaps Pegg’s
favourite film of all time –
Raiders of the Lost Ark – but it
would have to do.
“He called just between main
and sweet,” Pegg recalls. “He said
that he wanted me to play this
character – and I was very excited
to say, ‘Yes please’.”
Which restaurant was he in?
“It was the Chiltern Firehouse,”
Pegg says, referring to one of the
hippest eateries in London. “I
didn’t want to say because it just
sounds like I’m an arsehole.”
The film Spielberg had in
mind for Pegg – whom he’d cast
previously in The Adventures of
Tintin in 2011 – was Ready
Player One, a dazzling, feelgood sci-fi romp, packed with
pop culture references. It’s a bit
like The Goonies but with added
CGI. Adapted from the
eponymous novel by Ernest
Cline and set in 2045, the film
features the 48-year-old Pegg as
Ogden Morrow, co-creator of the
OASIS, a virtual reality game into
which people throw themselves
in order to escape the hardships
of the real world.
Even now, months after the
shoot, Pegg remains boyishly
excited about the project. As he
discusses it, he angles forward in
his chair, one hand lightly placed
on each almost-jiggling knee and
his face is crinkled with smile lines.
You wouldn’t guess that he had
spent much of the past decade
appearing alongside cinema’s
biggest names in some of the most
popular film franchises of all time
– his co-stars include Harrison
Ford in Star Wars, Tom Cruise in
Mission Impossible and Chris Pine
in Star Trek. He co-wrote the
latest Star Trek film as well as
‘Everything was taking
off and I couldn’t
understand why
I wasn’t happy’
appearing in it; his net worth has
been estimated as being in the
region of £7 million. Yet, he
insists, he’s still just a normal
bloke who lives in Hertfordshire
with his wife, Maureen, and
eight-year-old daughter, Matilda.
“I spend a lot of time trying to
not be a celebrity,” he says, a
comment slightly undermined by
the fact that we’re sitting in a vast
room in Claridge’s dominated by
a twinkling chandelier, and Pegg
is wearing a designer doublebreasted jacket with fiddly little
buttons and a light sheen of
make-up for the photos. But it’s
true that, beneath the gloss, Pegg
is a delightful conversationalist:
smart, funny, engaged and
resolutely unstarry.
How does he avoid celebrity?
“By not going out,” he replies,
deadpan. “I like staying in. I like
being at home. I’m not really one
for the ‘scene’, that kind of thing,
or trying to be famous for
anything other than what I do for
a living.”
That didn’t stop him amassing
five million followers on Twitter,
at which point he quit because, he
says, “I didn’t like who I was on
it… I just thought, ‘Who am I
talking to, and why do they want
to hear what I say?’”
He was also tired of what he
began to feel was an obligation to
tweet some appropriate
sentiment when someone famous
died, only to see it regurgitated as
part of a tribute package on the
10 o’clock news.
“Why does everything that is in
any way important have to be
validated by celebrity, you know?”
he says. “Oh, ‘This is what suchand-such thought of so-and-so’s
death.’ It’s like, so what? What do
you think of it?”
I wonder if Pegg’s mistrust of
fame comes down in part to the
fact that he found success
relatively late. He grew up in
Brockworth, Gloucestershire, the
only child of John, a keyboard
salesman, and Gillian, a former
civil servant and enthusiastic
member of the local am-dram
society. His parents divorced when
he was seven and his mother later
remarried. Pegg had a tricky
relationship with his stepfather,
Richard, until the two of them
WARNER BROS/ENTERTA; RII SCHROER
Simon Pegg
stars as Ogden
Morrow in
Ready Player
One, left
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
13
PEGG’S
PROGRESS:
SPACED TO
STAR WARS
SPACED
1999
SHAUN OF
THE DEAD
2004
MISSION
IMPOSSIBLE
III 2006
HOT FUZZ
2007
STAR TREK
2009
THE WORLD’S
END 2013
MAN UP
2015
STAR WARS:
THE FORCE
AWAKENS
2015
discovered a shared love of movies
(it was his stepfather who first took
him to see Raiders of the Lost Ark at
the cinema).
As a child, Pegg was obsessed
with Star Wars and had a poster of
the actress Carrie Fisher on his
wall which he used to kiss every
night before going to bed. He went
on to study theatre, film and
television at the University of
Bristol and his undergraduate
thesis was a Marxist overview of
popular Seventies cinema. That
sounds a laugh a minute, I say.
“It was basically saying that if
you consume anything which has
a particular bias in any way,
whether it’s sexist or racist or
homophobic or political bias, if
you watch that and you don’t
objectify yourself from it, then
you’re consenting to it,” he
explains. I’m still none the wiser.
After graduating in the late
Nineties, Pegg became known in
Britain for co-creating and
starring in the cult television
comedy Spaced. With director
Edgar Wright, he co-wrote Shaun
of the Dead in 2004, the first in a
trilogy of critically acclaimed
comedies in which Pegg also
starred with his best friend, Nick
Frost. But it wasn’t until 2006,
when he was 36, that Pegg got his
first big part in a Hollywood
blockbuster, Mission Impossible
III. Roles in Star Trek and Star
Wars followed.
Soon, Pegg was best friends
with the powerhouse Hollywood
director J J Abrams and godparent
to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris
Martin’s daughter, Apple. He
became gym buddies with Tom
Cruise, who gave him a cashmere
blanket for Christmas – Pegg’s
daughter referred to Cruise as
“the blanket guy” for years
afterwards.
“She has been on every film set
that I’ve been able to bring her
on, and she’s met everybody –
and she’s most impressed by
YouTube stars,” says Pegg,
shaking his head in mock despair.
“She’s not that impressed by me.
I mean, she really isn’t.”
A
t precisely the moment that
his career was taking off,
Pegg began to feel untethered
and his late 30s were spent in a
state of heightened anxiety. “I’d
kind of made it [but] I just wasn’t
happy,” he says. “My soul got lost…
It was difficult not being able to
understand how I wasn’t happy
and yet all my dreams seemed to be
coming true. And that’s what
depression is. And people think
that it’s a mood, and it’s not, it’s
something else. It has nothing to
do with your surroundings, in that
you could have everything, but you
could still feel like that.”
Did he seek professional
support? “I got help,” he nods.
“And it’s something I’ve not really
spoken about because, you know,
I’m a private person. But I think it
is important for people to know
that these sort of fabled kind of
material things aren’t necessarily
the key to any kind of happiness.
“I struggled for a long time and
then managed to find my own way
to come out of that and get well. I
look back on my 30s as being
quite a dark period because even
‘Alcohol is a bind –
you feel free of it
when you let go. Life
is better without it’
as everything was taking off, I was
struggling with the idea that…
well, why isn’t it making me
happy, you know? And then at 40
I figured it out and took steps to
eradicate alcohol from my life and
never looked back. And that also
coincided with the birth of my
daughter, and the last eight years
have probably been the happiest
I’ve ever been.” He pauses.
“Which is a relief.”
Pegg is teetotal now: his greatest
vice is a glass of sparkling water
and a cup of strong black coffee.
“Alcohol is a bind – you feel free of
it when you let it go,” he says. “Life
is better without it.”
And life is good for Pegg: he’s
about to start shooting an
independent film called Last
Translation about a schizophrenic
music producer. After that, he’s
planning his directorial debut,
although he won’t give any details
about it at this stage. “I’m
increasingly more attracted to the
process of completely being
involved in the creation of
something and not [starring] in it
either.”
Still, the movie industry Pegg
loves so deeply has taken a
battering of late, what with the
storm of allegations surrounding
the disgraced producer Harvey
Weinstein. The director Terry
Gilliam recently likened the
#metoo movement to “mob rule”.
What does Pegg think?
“I think it’s time to shut the
f--- up, really, if you’re a guy,” he
says without hesitation. “I think,
really, this isn’t your time… Every
Ready Player
One is out now
man is accountable and probably
guilty at some point of even just
passing sexism or inappropriate
comments.
“It’s all part of the same
narrative. It begins with that little
stuff, but it ends with terrible
things. And, OK, you might just
be guilty of being a bit of a dick,
but at the same time, you’ve still
got to re-educate yourself about
not being a dick.
“Social change is often
turbulent and people get caught
in the crossfire and there’s
sometimes collateral damage, but
that is what happens and what’s
the alternative? It seems silly to
fight it or worry about it. If you
don’t have anything to worry
about, if you support it as a cause,
if you believe in it, then you just
have to let it happen.”
He met Weinstein a couple of
times and considered him “a
blowhard, almost like a
stereotype of the rotund, brash,
Hollywood producer who’s rude
to everybody – more a kind of
figure of fun, than the sinister
thing it’s emerged that he is”.
Pegg speaks so quickly and
with such coherence that we race
through my questions and the
interview ends before our
allotted time is up.
There’s a mythology around
Pegg, a neat and convenient
narrative that is repeatedly
trotted out in the media, about
how he’s simply the wide-eyed
sci-fi nerd who fell into success.
But it’s clear, after an hour in
his company, that he is driven and
informed and makes an effort to
be good at what he does.
“I sometimes feel like saying,
‘Well, actually, I can do what I’m
doing for a living. It’s not like I
won a competition’,” he says.
“Yes, I certainly feel like I’ve
been lucky, but I’ve worked very
hard for it. But,” he adds,
apologetically. “I don’t really
mind.”
It’s no surprise that Simon
Pegg has stayed so down to
earth: I’m not entirely sure he
has the ego required to be a true
Hollywood diva.
14
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
DESIGN
SOVIET STYLE
ALL MOD
CONS
Clockwise from
left: Detski tooth
powder, 1959-77;
Zenit-E lens
packet, 1960s;
Dream, Dare,
Create! poster,
1976; Belka A50
(Squirrel)
compact car
project, 1955-56;
Instant coffee
tin, 1970s
Where ‘design’
was a dirty word
To us, Soviet style has retro appeal – but for the
‘artistic engineers’ who created it, the reward
was persecution. Jonathan Glancey reports
O
f all the books that
helped me learn to read,
the one I treasured most
was The Magic Glove,
a Ukrainian folk tale
illustrated by Evgenii Rachev and
published in an English translation
in the mid-Fifties. Before I could
read the first line – “An old man
was walking through the forest
one day with his dog” – I was
captivated by Rachev’s drawings
of a snowy, red, sunset forest,
populated by a mouse, a frog, a
rabbit (which looked more like a
hare), a fox, a wolf, a boar and a
bear in regional Soviet costumes.
They all squeezed into a mitten
that, page by page, sprouted a
Designed in the
USSR: 1950-89
(Phaidon,
£24.95) is
published on
April 13
porch, a bell, a door, a window and
a smoking chimney.
I have a copy of the book with
me as I write. It reminds me
that, even in the iciest days of
Siberian gulags, state-directed
starvation, purges, censorship and
torture, Russian designers – from
illustrators and graphic artists to
typographers and aesthetically
inclined engineers – expressed
beauty and enchantment through
creativity that sideslipped the
Soviet system.
In Designed in the USSR: 1950-89,
a richly illustrated book drawing
on the collection of the Moscow
Design Museum, Alexandra
Sankova, its director, writes:
“Hard as it is to imagine now,
the words ‘design’ and ‘designer’
were banned until as late as the
Eighties.” Instead, “manufacturers
employed so-called ‘artistic
engineers’”. Unlike their Western
peers, they were certainly not
public figures.
A procession of colourful pages
reveals real ingenuity in the
design of chocolate wrappers,
vodka labels, matchboxes, fabrics,
magazines and posters. And, while
it is hard to share the excitement
of such state-sponsored messages
as “Young People, Go to the Textile
Industry!” – a slogan emblazoned
across a poster from the Seventies –
Miron Lukyanov’s design remains
compelling.
There was much copying of
Western products, and help from
the West, throughout the Soviet
era. The first ZIS limousine, for
instance, was an American Buick
by another name – Zavod Imeni
Stalina – in chromed Cyrillic
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
15
KITCHEN
COOL
Right: Milk
carton, 195990s; below:
Khrushchev
and Nixon in
1959
CHILD’S
PLAY
Above: GAZ-69
toy car, 1970s;
below: roly-poly
dolls, 1956–70s
script. (Lenin in his day ordered
custom-designed Rolls-Royces
from imperialist England.) In the
same vein, Ural motorbikes were
modelled on Forties BMWs and
Zorki cameras were copies of
cameras made by Leica.
The “Kitchen Debates” between
Nikita Khrushchev and US VicePresident Richard Nixon, famously
held in an all-mod-cons house at
the American National Exhibition
in Moscow in 1959, prompted
the Soviet Council of Ministers
to form VNIITE, the All Union
Research Institute of Technical
Aesthetics, in 1962.
The idea was that, with the
help of philosophers, art critics,
historians, architects and
engineers, the comrades would
see true Soviet design. Did they?
Not quite. Many proposals made
by VNIITE were revelatory – who
could fail to be stirred by a 1965
prototype for a polar white mining
dump truck that Star Wars storm
troopers could only dream of
operating? Most, though, remained
purely theoretical exercises.
But although the clichéd potted
history of Soviet design goes like
this – short-lived avant-garde
era from 1917 to Stalin, followed
by nothing much except slavish
copying of Western products,
followed by the collapse of the
USSR and the triumph of global
brands and bling – there is another
story hinted at in this book: that
Soviet public design could be truly
impressive.
The first long-distance trains
seen by visitors to the Soviet Union
between the death of Stalin in 1953
and the fall of Khrushchev in 1964
Above right:
Akkord transistor
electrophone,
1969-73; right:
Alyonka
chocolate,
1960–70s
STANDARD
BEARER
Through Worlds
and Centuries – a
1965 poster
designed by
Miron Lukyanov
and Vasily
Ostrovski
were often powered by new P36
express locomotives. Designed by
Lev Sergeyevich Lebedyansky,
these rail-bound ambassadors
of Soviet might were striking in
liveries of steppe-forest green or
arctic-sky blue, offset with red
wheels and stars. The functional
beauty of the P36s was matched by
the spectacularly good-looking and
sensationally agile Sukhoi Su-27
jet fighter, designed by Mikhail
Simonov and first flown in 1977,
and by Sergei Korolev’s comet-like
Sputnik of 1957.
But the beguiling look of
these machines masked the
hardships their designers endured.
Lebedyansky was harangued by
Khrushchev, who took against
one of his locomotive designs, and
soon afterwards suffered a heart
attack, then a stroke. Korolev also
died young, aged 59, of a heart
attack in 1966. Despite, or because
of, his talent, he had been arrested
on a trumped-up charge during
Stalin’s purges, tortured, and sent
to a Siberian slave labour camp. It
broke his health. Even after he was
brought back into the official fold,
charges against him were not lifted
until 1957. If Korolev had lived
longer, the USSR may have landed
a man on the moon before NASA.
As it was, he lived his last decade in
fear of assassination by Moscow.
The irony is that the spirit of
truly original design was kept
alive during the Soviet era, but
not by the copycat cameras, cars
and motorbikes, nor even in
the utopian projects of VNIITE,
but in hard-won designs such as
Korolev’s, and in the much-loved
pages of The Magic Glove.
THE LIFE PICTURE COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES; MOSCOW DESIGN
N MUSEUM
INGENIOUS
16
***
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
RUPERT HAWKSLEY
SCREENGRAB
Perhaps you can write a hysterical farce about a mother walking out on her family – but this wasn’t it
COME HOME
CORRECTIONS AND
CLARIFICATIONS
INDIAN SUMMER SCHOOL
Our review of The Funeral
Murders (March 24) referred to the
three IRA terrorists shot in
Gibraltar in March 1988 as
“victims”, who had been
“murdered in Gibraltar”. We wish
to clarify that the inquest into
their deaths found that they were
lawfully killed. The European
Court of Human Rights later found
that the use of force against them
could be justified and was not a
breach of Article 2, the “right to
life”.
BBC One, Tuesday
C
Channel 4, Thursday
GONE GIRL
Christopher
Eccleston (right)
and Anthony
Boyle as the
abandoned
husband and
son in Come
Home
RED PRODUCTIONS LIMITED
ome Home has
impeccable
credentials. A
three-part drama,
it is written by
the Bafta awardwinning Danny
Brocklehurst,
produced by the company
behind Happy Valley, and stars
Christopher Eccleston. It should
have been very good. But the
opening episode was a bit of
a muddle.
For some reason, it seemed
desperate to make us laugh, which
was odd, since the premise wasn’t
at all funny: a woman suddenly
walking out on her husband and
their three children. An occasional
moment of levity might have
been welcome but, instead, whole
comic scenes were incongruously
plonked down amid the domestic
wreckage. It was as if Brocklehurst
was continually ducking out of
delivering the emotional uppercut
this melancholy story deserved.
Belfast mechanic Greg Farrell
(Eccleston) was doing his best to
put his life back together after his
wife Marie (Paula Malcomson)
had left. “There were reasons,”
she later said. We we don’t yet
know what these are, but the
story will be told from a different
perspective each week, so
presumably we will find out.
Despite all that was going on
at home, however, Greg still
managed to find time to go on a
date. Once again the scene – the
first date of a man who until
recently thought he’d never have
to go on a first date again – was
written entirely for laughs. Greg
was reading a copy of Jon Ronson’s
The Psychopath Test when his
date arrived (“It tells you how
psychopaths are all around us”).
He then started talking about
the colour of his recycling bins
(tedious comic shorthand for
awkwardness), before a condom
dropped out of his bag on to the
floor of the bar. At this point, the
woman promptly left.
It bordered on farce and jarred
tonally, coming straight after a
scene in which Greg had tenderly
tucked his youngest daughter
into bed. This lack of consistency
defined the episode. One minute,
Greg was having sex with the girl
who sells him lunch at the garage;
the next we were watching a
watery montage of him and Marie
surrounded by their children.
Eccleston, frankly, looked as
confused as I was.
Things may still improve. We
haven’t yet seen much of Marie
but Malcomson’s cold detachment
Christopher Eccleston
looked as confused
as I was by each lurch
from tears to laughter
– how was she coping so well,
despite having left a family behind
to live alone in a terrace house? –
was unsettling. The few minutes
we saw of her in episode one were
more interesting to watch than
anything else we have seen so far.
I
ndian Summer School, in
which five working-class
British teenagers with a single
core GCSE between them were
sent to a school in the foothills of
the Himalayas, set out to prove
that the education system in
India is superior to our own. It
did nothing of the sort, but was
nevertheless quite entertaining.
The five boys were a likeable
bunch of rebels and drifters,
mischievous rather than nasty.
Two of them had dropped out
of education at a young age.
The others had struggled with
discipline. “They tried to be strict
but it really didn’t work,” said
18-year-old Jack. Unsurprisingly,
all five boys found the regime at
the prestigious, £13,000-a-year
Doon School a shock.
Pupils are woken up at 6.15am
and have seven hours of lessons
before lunch. Seventeen-yearold Ethan explained that he was
more used to getting up around
midday. Eighteen-year-old Jake,
meanwhile, soon got into trouble
for stashing away a bottle of rum.
The others had more success.
Jack, particularly, thrived in this
new environment. “She put a
smiley face on my work,” he said
after one lesson. “I’ve never had a
smiley face on my work before.”
It was rather sad to hear this.
But there are plenty of schools
in the UK at which Jack would
have been better treated. It was
disingenuous of Channel 4 to
suggest that only in India would
the boys receive this level of
teaching. Nothing we saw at The
Doon School – the discipline,
the camaraderie or the support
– would be uncommon at any
number of schools in England.
Indeed, the headmaster of The
Doon School is British.
Had Channel 4 sent these
boys to a top school over here
the results would doubtless
have been similar. That way, the
gulf between the best and the
worst-performing schools in the
UK would have been exposed. I
can’t help thinking that would
have been a more worthwhile
endeavour.
Ben Lawrence is away
17
18
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
EXHIBITIONS
MONET AND ARCHITECTURE
Claude Monet’s
need for speed
The National Gallery’s spring
blockbuster suggests the great
impressionist liked life in the
fast lane, says Lucy Davies
I
t may surprise you to
learn that Claude Monet,
painter of tranquil lily
ponds, wind-blown
poplars, boats bobbing
lazily on the river and women in
sun-dappled reverie, was actually
an ardent car enthusiast. And not
just any cars, fast ones.
Indeed, in 1901 he acquired the
first of an eventual fleet of
automobiles: a gleaming PanhardLevassor, registration 937-YZ, then
the fastest car on the road. He and
his chauffeur, Sylvain, spent many
an afternoon ripping around the
lanes near Monet’s home-cumstudio in Giverny, which earned
the pair a speeding ticket, and
prompted the local mayor to put
up a notice stating that motor
vehicles passing through the
village should drive no faster than
“a horse at a regular trot.”
Monet’s passion for speed and
modern technology underlines a
vital, often overlooked thread in
his work; one that is every bit as
intriguing as the rural leisure with
which he is usually associated. A
new exhibition at the National
Gallery – Monet and Architecture
– which looks at the artist through
the buildings he painted, focuses
in part on the attention he paid to
modernity, and particularly in the
form of the metropolis, “a modern
entity in constant flux,” as curator
Richard Thomson describes it. For
about a decade, between the late
1860s and the late 1870s, the hustle
and bustle of city life features
repeatedly in his paintings, as if
Monet were engrossed in a
conscious campaign to address it.
Though Monet was Paris-born,
he was still very young when his
family moved to Le Havre, on the
Normandy coast, in 1845. It meant
that when he returned to the
capital 14 years later, at the age of
19, he likely experienced its tumult
and commotion as any other
provincial newcomer would.
At the time, France, and
particularly Paris, was widely
considered to be the absolute
epicentre of the modern world;
gripped by change.
For one, GeorgesEugène Haussmann’s
modernisation programme
meant the city had
recently undergone a
rapid redesign. Many
areas were effectively
still a construction site.
Gone were the medieval
alleyways and clusters of
leaning shop fronts. In their
place, a neat formation
of wide, straight, streets,
lined by harmonious,
neoclassical façades, was
taking shape.
Then there were the
railways, begun in 1842, the
increasing breadth and
speed of which now
connected Paris to once
remote villages and coastal
towns. Consequently the
French capital experienced
a massive influx of people
from the countryside,
drawn both to the
possibilities for employment
offered by the construction work,
and to the new theatres, music
halls and cafés.
An already crowded city of a
million people in 1848 had become
a modern capital of nearly two
million by 1870. Haussmann’s
new, smooth pavements made
promenading through Paris
a pleasure, and so the streets
teemed from dawn until dusk with
fashionably dressed middle-class
men and women. Monet wasn’t the
only artist to be enthusiastically
drawn to painting modern Paris.
Degas, Manet, Pissarro and
Renoir all found inspiration in its
new infrastructure. But perhaps
that isn’t altogether surprising:
impressionism, the movement
with which they were all affiliated,
was all about the new.
In 1863, the poet Charles
Baudelaire published a rallying
cry to his fellow artists on this
very subject. His essay, “The
Painter of Modern Life”, urged
them to concern themselves
with modernity, if they wished to
remain relevant.
“Modernisation was happening
everywhere, and all of the time,”
says Thomson, “and people were
very aware of it. If you read the
illustrated periodicals of the time
– and we know Monet did – they
were full of it. There was a need to
address it. But the challenge was
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
19
BLURRED
LINES
STATE PUSHKIN MUSEUM OF FINE ARTS, MOSCOW; AGENCE PHOTO DE LA RMN-GP; NATIONALGALLERYIMAGES.CO.UK; DALLAS MUSEUM OF ART
Le Boulevard des
Capucines (1873);
right, La Rue
Montorgueil,
painted in 1878
how to paint it? You could paint a
new building, yes, but how do you
paint the new pace of life; that
people feel the world is getting
faster and faster?”
Monet solved that riddle in his
first Parisian scene – The Quai du
Louvre (1867) – and many other
paintings afterward, by adopting a
driving perspective, whereby he
removed anything in the
foreground that might delay a
viewer’s eye from moving into the
picture. “That rapid movement
into the frame gives a sense of
speed and of the toing and froing
down the modern city street,”
Thomson explains.
Monet also used tiny flicks of his
brush to convey the idea of flux.
A NEW
PLATFORM
Arrival of the
Normandy Train,
Gare Saint-Lazare
(1877), left;
above, Le Pont
Neuf (1871)
Monet and
Architecture is
at the National
Gallery,
London WC2
(national
gallery.org.uk)
from April 9
Focusing on what
Thomson calls “the casual
and the contingent” –
passengers disembarking
from boats, pedestrians
passing idly by on the
bridge, a man in mid-stride
– rather than the city’s
notable landmarks, Monet
painted approximations of
figures and prioritised
momentum.
We see it best in Le
Boulevard des Capucines,
painted in 1873, where the
surface of the canvas
seems almost to be pulsing.
When it was exhibited at
the first impressionism
exhibition, the following
year, a critic wrote of its
“agitation”. “In this flowing of life,
this quivering of huge shadows,”
wrote another, “one salutes a
masterpiece.”
M
onet, then, had managed to
articulate in paint the
sensation of the modern
city: its noise, its movement, its
colour and light. Having done so,
he laid the subject aside for a time.
By the time he returned, in 1877,
he had made great strides in
depicting atmosphere, or “effets”
as he called them – fog, haze and
so on – and he had a specific aim in
mind, going to great lengths to
secure permission to paint Paris’s
Saint-Lazare station.
Here he sat from January to
March, producing around a
dozen canvases in total. Some are
highly resolved works, others
more like sketches, in which the
brooding, gleaming machines are
merely hinted at among the
steam and smoke. The frame of
the building, this palace to steam
and speed, is always emphatic.
Monet thrills to the architecture:
the soaring apex of the roof; the
panes of glass encased in
interlacing girders – all were
modern and ravishingly so.
“After this, I don’t think he
painted in Paris at all,” says
Thomson. “And obviously he
could have done. We know he
went to Paris when he needed to
hang his exhibitions, talk to
dealers, go to dinner or have his
suits made. He wasn’t a country
bumpkin who avoided the city.
He just wasn’t drawn to painting
it any more. That infatuation he
had with Paris, with the modern
city, was just that – an
infatuation. Then he moved on.”
20
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
MUSIC
CD REVIEWS
POP
by Neil McCormick
JOHNNY CASH:
FOREVER WORDS
Various Artists
Legacy
ÌÌÌÌÌ
J
ohnny Cash died in
2003, aged 71. One of the
undisputed greats of
country music, his
distinctive voice
brought a gravelly conviction to
every word he sang. But just as
significant was his tremendous
presence as a human being,
wrestling honestly with his
STRUM AND
DANG
Johnny Cash,
seen in 1959, left
a ‘monstrous
amassment’ of
rejected lyrics
SONY BMG MUSIC ENTERTAINMENT
When a little spare
Cash goes a long way
demons. And it is that quality of
directness and integrity that
imbues a collection of new, original
Cash songs with such meaning that
you can almost hear his voice
again, even as other singers deliver
his words.
There have already been three
posthumous Cash albums, and
while all were pretty good, there
was little expectation of anything
interesting still to come. Inevitably,
no matter how great the deceased
musician, the barrel of studio
leftovers will be scraped dry. Yet
here his son, John Carter Cash, has
come up with a genuinely affecting
new chapter in his father’s work.
Various musicians were invited
to fashion new songs from a
“monstrous amassment” of
writings – letters, poems and
unfinished or rejected lyrics – that
Cash left behind. This could have
gone horribly wrong, yet the
quality of the work is consistently
high, buoyed by the commitment
of the performers.
Crucially, there is no attempt at
imitation. Alison Krauss, whose
high, fluttering voice is almost the
diametric opposite of Cash’s, works
wonders with a folky parable of
scorned admiration, The Captain’s
Daughter. Melodies and
arrangements tend to adhere to
Cash’s usual country blues
framework, yet there are musical
twists that show how invested each
artist is in the material.
The singer-songwriter Jewel
lends the seductive Body To Body a
sensuousness that would be hard
to imagine from Cash himself,
while the female trio I’m With Her
give Chinky Pin Hill a gorgeously
harmonised sense of longing. One
couplet leaps out, turning a lyric of
reminiscence into something more
profound: “The road is so
confusing as I go from day to day/
And sometimes I get worried that
I’ll lose you on the way.”
Even the simplest songs here are
studded with magic moments that
shift the centre of gravity. Given
that, in later years, Cash mainly
recorded other people’s songs, it is
a mystery why he neglected his
own writing. What songwriter
would discard lyrics as potent as
those of Walking Wounded, a
depiction of damaged souls, here
sombrely interpreted by Cash’s
own daughter, Roseanne?
But there is an answer, of a kind,
in the moving You Never Really
Knew My Mind. The late Chris
Cornell’s racked voice draws every
drop of emotion from an
extraordinary, twisted song about
the essential unknowability of any
individual. “Sometimes I’m a
stranger to you,” he admits, and it
is like hearing two ghosts ponder
the mystery of existence. The
spirit, if not the voice, of the great
Johnny Cash rises from these
recordings, sounding out from
beyond the grave.
ALSO RELEASED
‹ The Vaccines
Combat Sports (Columbia)
‹ Kacey Musgraves
Golden Hour (MCA Nashville)
‹ Kate Nash
Yesterday Was Forever
(Girl Gang)
CLASSICAL
by Ivan Hewett
Ralph Vaughan
Williams as never
heard before
Theatres
VAUGHAN WILLIAMS:
SYMPHONIES 5 AND 6
+(50$-(67<
6
670$57,1
6
7+(%5,//,$1725,*,1$/
WK\HDURI$JDWKD&KULVWLH
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7+(3+$17202)7+(23(5$
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ZZZ7KH3KDQWRP2I7KH2SHUDFRP
0RQ6DWSP0DWV7XHV7KXUV6DW
ZZZWKHPRXVHWUDSFRXN
Royal Liverpool
Philharmonic
Orchestra; cond
Andrew Manze
Onyx
ÌÌÌÌÌ
48((1
6
7+(086,&$/3+(120(121
/(60,6(5$%/‹6
(YHV0DWV:HG6DW
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/$'<:,1'(50(5(Ü6)$1
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),1$1&,$/7,0(6
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+$52/'$1'0$8'(
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'LUHFWHGE\7KRP6RXWKHUODQG
&KDULQJ&URVV7KHDWUHFRXN
L
ike many things which
have never been in
fashion, the symphonies
of Ralph Vaughan
Williams are proving to
be remarkably durable. His music
evokes an ancient vision of
England, rooted in folk song,
hymnody and landscape, which
was already remote from the urban
realities of the country when it was
composed. For many that’s
precisely the music’s appeal.
Others are wary of a sound that
seems so determinedly settled,
serene and backward-looking.
This new release is proof that
Vaughan Williams’s music is far
from settled and serene. It also
reminds us that it can be as
sardonic, turbulent and jaggedly
dissonant as any modernist’s. The
radiant vision comes in the Fifth
Symphony, premiered in 1943. The
modal, folk-like melodies evoke
green hills but the radiance is
spotted by dark, spectral moments.
The nightmare visions come in the
Sixth Symphony, premiered five
years later. Its astonished (and
astonishing) ending, in which
bleached-out harmonies circle
endlessly, made people speculate
that Vaughan Williams had been
inspired by the appalling realities
of the atom bomb. Andrew Manze’s
performance of these symphonies
with the Royal Liverpool
Philharmonic Orchestra makes
them convincing for our more
sceptical age.
The Fifth Symphony does not
have the ecstatic radiance of
some recorded versions. Instead,
it achieves a moving effect by
bringing out the complex weave
of the music, which harks back to
the Elizabethan music that
Vaughan Williams loved.
Throughout, the sound has a
clarity, which is a long way from
the “galumphing” Vaughan
Williams of popular prejudice.
The performance of the Sixth
Symphony is equally impressive
in its clarity. The slow, hushed
final movement, far from being
horror-stricken, attains a tranced
beauty which is affecting in
an unexpected way. It’s rare to
hear a performance that casts
a completely new light on a
familiar work, but this is one.
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
21
22
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Books
How to kill a
democracy
Hitler climbed the greasy
pole by appealing to people’s
most irrational instincts,
says Nicholas Shakespeare
THE DEATH OF
DEMOCRACY
by Benjamin
Carter Hett
304pp, William
Heinemann,
£20, ebook £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
‘I
am German and I
am waiting for the
Germans to come
back; they have gone
to ground somewhere.”
So in his diary wrote Victor
Klemperer – veteran of the
First World War, son of a rabbi
– after Adolf Hitler was sworn
into power. The question that
Benjamin Carter Hett sets out to
answer in his dense, intelligent
and fascinating book is: how
did this happen? The Weimar
Republic had been in place a
mere 14 years: not particularly
robust, but open, liberal and
infinitely more democratic than
the monarchy it had replaced.
How, then, did the chief political
players in this “notoriously
law-abiding and cultured land”
peacefully hand over the keys of
government to “that drivelling
corporal”, as Churchill once
called him, who was so violently
opposed to democracy?
Hitler’s unexpected promotion
to chancellor on January 30 1933
seemed to mimic the popular
story of a talented con man called
Wilhelm Voigt who, in 1906,
used a fake officer’s uniform and
good acting skills “to convince
a credulous squad of soldiers to
help him rob a suburban town
hall”. Voigt’s subversive audacity
had made him a folk hero, and
in 1931 his story was turned
into a film, Der Hauptmann
von Köpenick, which Hitler, a
passionate cinemagoer, is certain
to have seen.
Hitler’s own powers of
persuasion were notorious –
Lloyd George had judged him
in the flesh to be “the greatest
German of the age”; and Leo
Amery, who was Jewish and
no patsy, after meeting him
at Rosenheim found him “a
bigger man, on the whole, than
I had expected… we got on well,
together, I think, owing to the
fundamental similarity of many of
our ideas”.
Still, even in 1931 very few
Germans could have predicted
that Hitler would not merely
repeat but magnify Voigt’s trick by
taking over the Reichstag. A month
before it happened, not unlike
Churchill’s position in respect to
Neville Chamberlain immediately
before the Norway Debate of May
7 1940, the chances of Adolf Hitler
replacing Chancellor Kurt von
Schleicher were, to most informed
observers including Hitler, remote.
Twice rejected by Sandhurst,
Churchill succeeded at the third
attempt. Twice rejected by Vienna’s
Academy of Visual Arts, Hitler
became “unbalanced” and would
“fly into a temper at the slightest
thing,” recalled a boyhood friend.
He “cursed the old-fashioned
fossilised bureaucracy of the
Academy… But he would show
these incompetent, senile fools that
he could go ahead without them.”
After the catastrophe of the
First World War, Hitler came
increasingly to view anyone in
a position of authority or held
up as an expert in the same
contemptuous light, most
especially those civilian politicians
– “November criminals” he
branded them – who had stoked the
November 1918 revolution (though
he initially had supported it), signed
the Armistice and then the Treaty of
Versailles, and stabbed the German
army and people in the back.
In Hitler’s solipsistic and
grudging eyes, the new Weimar
Republic, with its constitution
drafted by a liberal Jewish lawyer,
Hugo Preuss, was little more
than the Viennese Academy writ
large. Carter Hett writes: “Weimar
was too Jewish, too Catholic, too
modern, too urban – all in all, too
morally degenerate.” Wobbling
through 21 administrations in 14
years, it had to be removed.
In January 1923, one dollar was
worth 17,000 marks. By December,
it bought 4.2 billion marks. Hitler’s
indisputable talent, as Carter
Hett reminds us, was to use his
rhetoric and acting skills to capture
the mood of humiliation, fear
and misery, following two years
of hyperinflation, and to offer
himself to a bewildered population
as the simple and only solution.
He evolved his doctrine in this
climate of loss of belief. It was
against everything – anti-capitalist,
DRIVELLING
CORPORAL
Adolf Hitler
strikes a regal
pose in 1930, at
Berchtesgaden
anti-religious, anti-conservative,
anti-socialist, and most of all antiSemitic – and it succeeded, as one
observer, Peter Drucker, put it,
“not because people believed its
messages, but in spite of the fact
that they did not”.
In one telling scene, Drucker
encounters a cheering Nazi
agitator at a peasants’ meeting:
“We don’t want lower bread prices,
we don’t want higher bread prices,
we don’t want unchanged bread
prices – we want National Socialist
bread prices.” Lower, higher,
unchanged bread prices had all
failed, Drucker realised. “The only
Goebbels wrote: ‘It
has happened… Hitler
is Reich Chancellor.
Like a fairy tale!’
hope lies in a kind of bread price
which is none of these, which
nobody has ever seen before,
and which belies the evidence of
one’s reason.” The most effective
ingredient in Hitler’s message to
the rural middle-class Protestants
who formed the core of his support
was its unashamed appeal to the
irrational.
Like Henry Ashby Turner
in his excellent Hitler’s Thirty
Days to Power: January 1933
(1996), Carter Hett does not see
Nazi rule as inevitable. If rage
and hatred played their part in
the story of Hitler’s rise, so too
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
23
INSIDE
did “miscalculation and shortsightedness”. Few of his abettors
were more myopic than President
Paul von Hindenburg, the
octogenarian field marshal who
“embodied Germany history” as
Philippe Pétain did for the French.
After 1928, Hindenburg and
three of his chancellors – Heinrich
Brüning, Kurt von Schleicher and
Franz von Papen – struggled to
bring unity to Germany’s fractured
political Right by seeking to
recruit the Nazis – the largest
party in the Reichstag – to support
the establishment, even though
Hindenburg loftily refused to meet
Hitler: “I really cannot be made
to converse with this Austrian
private.” In turn, Hitler refused
to accept any post other than
chancellor.
By December 1932, however,
Hitler was under intense pressure
– causing Goebbels to describe the
year 1932 in his diary as “just one
run of bad luck”. In the previous
month’s election, the Nazi vote
had fallen from 37 per cent to 33.
Running out of momentum and
money, the party was threatened
by internal divisions. Gregor
Strasser, Hitler’s “most intelligent
lieutenant” and one of the most
popular leading Nazis, had been
courted by Schleicher to become
vice-chancellor. Repelled by
Hitler’s use of violence, and fearing
that his all-or-nothing approach
would cut off their path to
power, Strasser asked for Hitler’s
permission to accept. Hitler
refused: he said that he would be
chancellor, or there would be no
Nazis in the government. Even
so, according to Goebbels, Hitler
was “very pale”. Would Strasser’s
resignation from the Nazi party on
December 8 mark the first step in a
palace revolution?
Never did Hitler’s rejection of a
rational, factual world serve him
so well as in the next six weeks.
“Always thinking the unthinkable”
in the words of his biographer
Joachim Fest, and hostile to
reasoned argument, he maintained
his inflexible position against all
political logic. Astonishingly, by
the end of January his strategy had
worked: he had conned a small yet
pivotal group of “incompetent,
senile fools” at the heart of the
establishment into giving him
what he wanted, while all along
they believed that they were
manipulating Hitler. “We have
hired him,” trilled the fatuous
Papen. “In a few months, we will
have pushed him so far into the
corner that he will squeak.” On
January 30, Goebbels wrote: “It
has happened… Hitler is Reich
Chancellor. Like a fairy tale!”
Readable and well-researched,
with the injection of fresh
contemporary voices, The Death
of Democracy is also a thoughtful
reflection of how our time more
resembles the Thirties than the
Noughties. Boiled down, Hitler’s
rise to power was “the result
of a large protest movement
colliding with complex patterns
of elite self-interest in a culture
increasingly prone to aggressive
myth-making and irrationality…
suddenly the whole thing looks
close and familiar.”
Nicholas Shakespeare’s Six
Minutes in May: How Churchill
Unexpectedly Became Prime
Minister is published by
Harvill Secker (£20).
Call 0844 871 1514 to order The
Death of Democracy for £16.99
knows how many “cli-fi” thrillers
in which humans struggle through
landscapes made arid by climate
change or devastated by
technological suicide.
Fewer writers apply the same
imagination to the more sobering
concept of how we’re currently
getting there: one might make a
case for bits of Annie Proulx’s
enormous Barkskins (2016) about
three centuries of rapacious
loggers, but perhaps the only real
classic in the environmental-fiction
genre is Edward Abbey’s 1975 The
Monkey Wrench Gang, a story about
bomb-throwing activists versus
The Man and his machines.
Into this denuded territory,
Powers, always a writer of big
ideas, has dropped one of the most
thoughtful and involving popular
novels I’ve read for years. The
Overstory’s roots are broad, but it
slowly comes to concentrate on
eight characters whose lives “have
long been connected, deep
underground” and follows them
through the late 20th and early 21st
centuries against a backdrop of the
American forest’s destruction.
Among them are Patricia
Westerford, a scholar who
becomes convinced that trees are
talking to one another, “linked
together in an airborne network,
sharing an immune system across
acres of woodland” and who
becomes a forest-dwelling recluse
for the decades it takes her ideas to
penetrate scientific orthodoxy.
There’s Neelay Mehta, the disabled
son of immigrants from India, who
Eco-fiction
never tasted
this good
Tim Martin on one of the
most involving novels he
has read in years – and it’s
all about the lives of trees
THE OVERSTORY
by Richard Powers
512pp, William
Heinemann, £18.99,
ebook £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
I
had to look it up: the
“overstory”, the title of
Richard Powers’s 12th
book, is the highest bit
of a forest, the canopy
that sets the conditions of life for
everything beneath. But one
doesn’t need to spend long in this
teeming novel about ecology,
eco-terrorism and the natural
world before the puns in the title
start to put out shoots of their own:
what would a planetary overstory
look like? What happens when a
planet’s story comes to an end?
This book about the lives and
deaths of trees opens with
chestnut-planting Norwegian
immigrants in the 1800s and grows
steadily outward until it reaches
the age of neural nets and virtual
worlds; it whirls together so many
characters, so much research and
such a jostle of intersecting ideas
that, at times, it feels like a
landbound companion to MobyDick’s digressional and obsessive
whale tale. As with Melville’s novel,
however, this book about what
humans kill is also a book about
what kills humans; and the answer
to that is, as ever, mostly
themselves.
As a broadly realist novel with an
environmental message, The
Overstory occupies a strangely
deserted corner of literary
production. With a few exceptions,
novelists tend to tell us about the
end of the world when everything’s
done and dusted. Countless works
of speculative fiction grimly lay out
How We Got Here in the postapocalypse: food crisis in John
Christopher’s The Death of Grass,
gene-splicing screw-up in
Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and
Crake, weather apocalypse in J G
Ballard’s element novels and who
It opens with chestnut
planting in the 1800s
and ends up in an
age of virtual worlds
GETTY IMAGES
GETTY IMAGES
The fishing industry’s
dark underbelly page 24
Did Pakistan run the
Taliban in secret? page 26
Who’s who on the
Rive Gauche page 28
TALL TALE
Californian redwoods
dreams of creating a virtual world
that will mimic the complexity of
nature itself. There’s Nick Hoel,
an artist born beneath one of
America’s few surviving chestnut
trees, who becomes an
anonymous sloganeer in the
battle to save the country’s
redwoods, and Olivia Vandergriff,
a student electrocuted in a
household accident who believes
that higher powers are calling her
to a life of environmental
activism. All these characters,
and several others – a Vietnam
vet, a Chinese businesswoman, a
sceptical academic who equates
habitat destruction with the
psychological “bystander
effect”– touch briefly, linked by
their connection with trees and
plants, then draw apart.
This long book is astonishingly
light on its feet, and its
borrowings from real research
are conducted with verve.
Readers of The Hidden Life of
Trees, a surprise ecological
bestseller by the German forester
Peter Wohlleben, will recognise
the germ of Patricia Westerford’s
academic philosophy, but Powers
invests her character with a
passionate grace: “She could tell
them,” muses Westerford at a
tech conference, “about a simple
machine needing no fuel and
little maintenance, one that
steadily sequesters carbon,
enriches the soil, cools the
ground, scrubs the air, and scales
easily to any size. A tech that
copies itself and even drops food
for free. A device so beautiful it’s
the stuff of poems.”
Olivia Vandergriff and her
posse are similarly based on
real-life activists – most
particularly Julia “Butterfly” Hill,
who spent more than 700 days
living at the top of a redwood tree
in the late Nineties – but Powers’s
description of life spent in the
forest canopy, as “highwire
surveyors of a newfound land”,
vibrates with a near-psychedelic
sincerity of evocation.
Several of Powers’s novels have
been slightly unsettling exercises
in emotional distance, better at
dealing with intersecting systems
of grand ideas than with the
characters at their hearts. The
Overstory works on a similarly
high level, but the propulsive
style and the enthusiastic
reverence of Powers’s writing
about nature keep it whizzing
through any amount of linked
observations on literary criticism,
political science and statistical
analysis. It’s an extraordinary
novel, alert to the large ideas and
humanely generous to the small
ones; in an age of cramped
autofictions and self-scrutinising
miniatures, it blossoms.
Call 0844 871 1514 to order
from the Telegraph for £16.99
24
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
BOOKS
REVIEWS
This 110-day, round-theworld pursuit of a rogue
trawler reads like a noir
thriller, finds Simon Ings
CATCHING THUNDER
by Eskil Engdal
& Kjetil Saeter,
tr Diane Oatley
400pp, Zed, £12.99,
ebook £12.98
ÌÌÌÌÌ
O
n March 23 1969 the
shipbuilders of
Ulsteinvik in Norway
launched a stern
trawler called the
Vesturvon. It was their most
advanced factory trawler yet,
beautiful as these ships go, and
big: outfitted for a crew of 47.
In 2000, after many
adventures, the ship suffered a
midlife crisis. Denied a renewal of
their usual fishing quota, its
owners partnered up with a
Russian company and sent the
ship, renamed the Rubin, to ply
the Barents Sea. There, in the
words of Eskil Engdal and Kjetil
Saeter, two Norwegian
journalists, the ship slipped
ineluctably into “a maelstrom of
shell corporations, bizarre ships
registers and shady expeditions”.
In the years that followed, the
ship changed its name often: Kuko,
Wuhan No 4, Ming No 5, Batu 1. Its
crew had to look over the side of
the ship at the name plate, attached
that morning to the stern, to find
out which ship they were on. Flags
from countries such as Equatorial
Guinea, Mauritania and Panama
were kept in a cardboard box.
It fell to a Chilean, Luis Cataldo,
to be captaining the ship (then
named the Thunder) on December
17 2014 – the day when, off
Antarctica’s windy Banzare Bank,
in the middle of an illegal fishing
expedition, it was spotted by the
Bob Barker, a craft belonging to the
Sea Shepherd Conservation
Society. The Bob Barker’s captain
got on the radio and told Cataldo
his vessel was wanted by Interpol
and should follow him to port.
Cataldo retorted that he wasn’t
inclined to obey a ship whose black
flag bore a skull (albeit with a
shepherd’s crook and a trident
instead of crossbones). And it is fair
to say that the Sea Shepherd
organisation, whose mission “is to
end the destruction of habitat and
slaughter of wildlife in the world’s
oceans”, has enjoyed a fairly
anomalous relationship with
nautical authority since its
foundation in 1977. So began the
world’s longest sea chase to date,
recorded with flair and precision in
Catching Thunder, Diane Oatley’s
effortlessly noir translation of
Engdal and Saeter’s 2016
AMONG THE LIVING
AND THE DEAD
by Inara Verzemnieks
A post-war
treat? Exile
to Siberia
Latvians who survived the
Soviets, then the Nazis, then
the Soviets again got a grim
reward, says Clare Mulley
282pp, One, £16.99,
ebook £13
ÌÌÌÌÌ
‘I
n the region of Latvia
where my grandmother
was raised,” writes Inara
Verzemnieks, “there are
people who believe even
to this day that the right words
spoken in the right combination
are a way of resurrecting what
has been lost.” Resurrection may
be a step too far, but in Among the
Living and the Dead she goes a long
way to reconnect people and place
across time and trauma.
The book is dedicated to two
women, her grandmother Livija
and great-aunt Ausma. In 1939,
Latvia announced it would remain
neutral during the Second World
War. This did not deter either
the Soviet Union from annexing
and brutally occupying the
country, nor Nazi Germany from
SIMON AGER
Longest sea
chase in history
Norwegian bestseller. The book
promises all the pleasures of a
crime novel, but it is after bigger
game: let’s call it the unremitting
weirdness of the real world.
This is a book about fish – and
also a chase narrative in which the
protagonists spend most of the
time sailing in circles and sending
each other passive-aggressive radio
messages. (“You are worried
about the crew, and now all the
Indonesians are nervous,” Cataldo
complains. “One person attempted
to take his life. Over.”) It’s about
attempting to regulate the
following suit in 1941. Livija’s
young husband was conscripted
into the “Latvian Legion”, and so
fought the second Soviet advance
in Nazi German uniform. He lost
an eye but survived the war, unlike
almost half those conscripted and
virtually the entire Latvian Jewish
population. Livija fled the country
with her infant children, surviving
traumatic years as a refugee on the
roads and in camps. She settled in
America, where she raised her son
and later her granddaughter.
After Livija’s death, Verzemnieks
travelled to Latvia to find Ausma,
Livija’s younger sister. Having
survived the Nazi occupation,
Ausma, her elderly mother and
injured brother were among many
thousands of Latvians deported to
Siberia by the Soviets. Although
lucky to survive, it was only after
eight years of appalling deprivation
that they were able to return home.
The Latvians, Verzemnieks tells
us, when they want to express
understanding and compassion,
say, “I feel along with you”. Once
so close, Livija and Ausma had no
movement of lumps of steel
weighing more than 650 tons
which, if they want, can thug their
way out of any harbour whether
they’ve been “impounded” or not,
and it’s about the sheer slow-mo
clumsiness of ship-handling. At
one point the Thunder “moves in
circles, directing a searchlight on
the Bob Barker, then suddenly
stops and drifts for a few hours.
Then the mate puts the ship in
motion again, heading for a point
in the middle of nowhere.” There’s
no Hollywood hot-headedness
here. The violence here is rare,
The two sisters had no
news of each other for
a decade, and didn’t
meet for 50 years
news of each other for a decade,
and after the war would not meet
for 50 years. These two sisters
had been forced to live through
unimaginable horrors, “without
the other ever feeling along”.
Verzemnieks does her best to
make up for it, feeling her way
along their stories. The book opens
with the first of her journeys to
Latvia, and she paces her story
with observations: of her family’s
village with its beauty salon, its
angry tethered goat, blackening
veiled and, when it comes,
unstoppable and ice-cold.
The Thunder was wanted for
hunting the Patagonian toothfish, a
protected species of “petulant and
repulsive” giants that can grow to a
weight of 120kg and live more than
50 years. When the Bob Barker
caught sight of it in the Southern
Ocean, no one could have guessed
that their chase would last for 110
days. Stoked by Sea Shepherd’s
YouTube campaign, the pursuit
became a cause célèbre and the
Bob Barker’s hardened crew were
prepared for the long game: “As
mushrooms thick with worms,
birch trees, a Soviet missile base.
Having been welcomed by her
Latvian family, she finds an easy
silence extends between relatives
“drifting like a fine mist of wood
released by Aivars’s saw”. When
conversation flows, she watches
as a child “catches fragments” of
the adults’ talk, “rough like the
trimmings of the horses hooves
that her father leaves scattered
around the floor of the barn”.
The rural idyll of Ausma’s home
conjures up scenes of the sisters’
bucolic pre-war childhood, and the
old myths of Latvia on which they
were raised. But as Verzemnieks
eagerly follows Ausma “deep into
the wilds of her memories”, it
becomes clear that her great-aunt’s
sharing is a generous gift of love,
and not undertaken without pain.
Ultimately, Livija and Ausma
lived through enough to know
that even “the right combination
of words” cannot resurrect what
has been lost. Latvia was not the
same country it had been before
the war. After her return from
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
25
To order any of these books
from the Telegraph, visit
books.telegraph.co.uk
or call 0844 871 1514
The boat had been
hunting Patagonian
toothfish, ‘petulant
and repulsive giants’
of Africa, across the Indian Ocean
and into the South China Sea
before ending up in Vietnam.” But
they also have something to say
about the planet.
Suppose you catch fish for a
living. If you saw that your catch
was dwindling, you might limit
your days at sea to ensure that you
can continue to fish that species in
future years. This isn’t “ecological
thinking”; it’s simple self-interest.
In the fishing industry, though,
self-interest works differently. And
in a chapter about Chimbote in
Peru, the authors hit upon a
striking metonym for the global
mechanisms denuding our seas.
The Peruvian anchovy boom of
the late 2000s turned Chimbote
from a sleepy village into
Peru’s busiest fishing port.
FISHING
Fifty factories exuded a
FOR JUSTICE
stench of rotten fish, and
The Bob Barker
pumped wastewater and fish
nearly colliding with
blood into the ocean, to the
the Thunder during
point where the local
the 110-day pursuit
long as the two ships are
ecosystem was so damaged
operating without using the
that an ordinary El Niño
engines, it is only the generators
event finished off the anchovy
that are consuming fuel. If it
stocks for good.
continues like this, they can be at
The point is this: fishing
sea for two years.”
companies are not fisherfolk. They
Engdal and Saeter must keep
are companies: lumps of capital
their human story going while
incorporated to maximise returns
doing justice to the scale of their
on investment. It makes no sense
subject. At the start, their subject
for an extraction company to limit
is the fishing industry, in which a
its consumption of a resource.
Call
cargo of frozen toothfish can go
Once stocks have been reduced to
0844 871
“on a circumnavigation of the
nothing, the company simply
1514 to
world from the Southern Ocean to
reinvests its capital in some other,
order for more available resource. You can
Thailand, then around the entire
£10.99
African continent, past the Horn
put rules in place to limit the
GETTY IMAGES
Siberia, Ausma could not revive the
old family farm. The sisters were
reunited, but then parted again,
back into their separate lives.
In places, the tone is precious.
Livija’s scarf, the one possession
she saved from her life in Latvia,
becomes a symbol of the richness
of memory, “the complexity of
the pattern invisible only until
you sit long enough to follow the
unravelling threads, retrace their
individual paths, so many intricate
connections, gifted… by the silent,
insistent hands of the dead”.
What lifts the narrative is its
strong sense of place, and its
reflections on national identity
and how it is changed by war, on
migration and asylum, and on
complicity and resilience under
occupation. This is a haunting
book with a character as layered as
the people between its pages.
HARD TIMES
Poster exhorting Latvians to
defeat Bolshevism by joining the Nazi war effort
Clare Mulley’s The Women Who
Flew For Hitler is published by
Macmillan (£20). Call 0844 871
1514 to order Among the Living
and the Dead for £14.99
THE THUNDER
GOES UNDER
The scuttling of the
Thunder in the waters
of São Tomé and
Príncipe on April 6 2015
rapaciousness of the enterprise,
but the rapaciousness is baked in.
Rare resources are doomed to
extinction eventually because the
rarer a resource is, the more
expensive it is, and the more
incentive there is to trade in it. This
is why, past a certain point, rare
stocks hurtle towards zero.
Politically savvy readers will
find, between the lines, an
account here of how increasingly
desperate governments are
coming to a rapprochement with
the Sea Shepherd organisation,
whose self-consciously piratical
founder Paul Watson declared in
1988: “We hold the position that
the laws of ecology take
precedence over the laws
designed by nation states to
protect corporate interests.”
Watson’s position seems legally
extreme. But 30 years on, with an
ecological catastrophe looming,
many maritime law enforcers
hardly care. Robbed of income
and ecological capital, some
countries are getting gnarly. In
2016, Indonesian authorities sank
170 foreign fishing vessels in less
than two years. They would like
to sink many more: according to
this daunting thriller, 5,000
illegal fishing vessels ply their
waters at any one time.
26
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
BOOKS
REVIEWS
Suffering for
your father’s art
An egotistical painter casts
a long shadow over his son’s
life in this funny and moving
novel, says Patrick Gale
THE ITALIAN
TEACHER
by Tom Rachman
336pp, Riverrun,
£16.99, ebook £10.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
B
ear Bavinsky is,
apparently, a genius.
He paints women
like one possessed,
paints them on big
canvases, homing in on one
almost dehumanising detail, so
that his sought-after “Life-Stills”
remain all about him, never
about the identity or character
of his long-suffering muses, who
appear in them simply as a knee
or a shoulder or an eyebrow.
Most of his paintings fail to live
up to his Olympian ideals and he
burns most of them in a dustbin
on the spot. With characteristic
high-minded arrogance, he
dislikes selling his work to mere
individuals, preferring that it pass
immediately into the hands of the
world’s great galleries.
Bavinsky shrewdly curates
his own professional mystique.
His private life, naturally, is a
battlefield. No one woman is ever
enough for his restless need for
stimulus and adoration. A genial
narcissist, he has numerous
liaisons and marriages, numerous
changes of address, numerous
children. The man is an insecure,
macho s--- in the Hemingway
mould but most can overlook that,
because his work is a beautiful
wonder that will outlive him.
The world of art, like that of
fashion, is a soft target, easily
satirised not least because its
big beasts can seem to send
themselves up before the writer
even gets to them. Bear’s story
could have made a blackly funny
fable told by William Boyd or
Will Self, say. The genius of
Tom Rachman’s fourth novel,
however, is to have nudged the
camera tripod so that, while Bear
continues to make most of the
noise and believe the story is all
about him, the narrative focuses
instead on his utterly overlooked
eldest son.
The constantly marginalised
Pinch is first encountered aged
five, living with his bipolar potter
mother, Natalie, in Bear’s squalid
studio in Rome in the mid-Fifties.
He believes in his father’s genius
as men once believed in God, and
is cursed by his inability ever to
amount to anything that might
win the man’s genuine admiration.
T
Mission
impossible?
Afghanistan is as unstable
now as it was in 2001 – and
Pakistan has a lot to answer
for. Con Coughlin reports
DIRECTORATE S
by Steve Coll
784pp, Allen Lane,
£25, ebook £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
hese days, Donald
Trump, Brexit, Russia,
China and evolving
threats such as cyber are
more likely to give us
sleepless nights than the more
parochial concern of maintaining
political stability in Kabul. Indeed,
so much has changed in global
affairs that it is easy to forget that,
only a few years ago, Afghanistan
and the fight against al-Qaeda were
the West’s overriding
preoccupations.
It is also easy to overlook the
uncomfortable truth that today,
nearly two decades after the West
became embroiled in Central Asia,
and despite the spending of
hundreds of billions of dollars on
the country’s stability, Afghanistan
is as riven by conflict as it has been
for decades. The Taliban is back in
the ascendant – conservative
estimates say it now controls
around 30 per cent of the country
– while new Islamist groups, such
as Isil, are seeking to establish a
foothold after the recent defeats it
has suffered in the Middle East.
How we got ourselves back into
this invidious position is explained
in Steve Coll’s Directorate S: The
Bear casually bestows a few art
lessons on the growing boy before
abandoning him and his mother
for another woman and another
country, but those lessons take
root to the point where his mother
is convinced of, and encourages,
his gift.
Growing into a predictably
awkward adolescent, blessed
with stylishly fluent Italian, Pinch
pursues his artistic course only
to have his father deny his talent
with a single, brutally casual
comment. Unwavering in his faith,
he studies instead to become an
art critic, the better to celebrate
his father’s genius, only to end by
wasting his life as the common
room oddball of a soulless London
language school.
He experiences varying degrees
of love and emotional fulfilment
with three wildly contrasted
women and yet the thing that
continues to consume him, albeit
in secret, is painting. And even
though their paths cross so rarely
that he hoards every detail of
every meeting, his father’s destiny
and reputation and his own come
to be deliciously, subversively
entwined as Rachman’s novel
slaloms through its utterly
unpredictable course.
The Italian Teacher is often
CIA and America’s Secret Wars in
Afghanistan and Pakistan, 20012016. Like its title, this is a long
book – around 700 pages. The
author, a Pulitzer prize-winning
journalist who specialises in
writing about CIA-run covert
wars in the region, takes us in
painstaking detail through every
twist and turn that had a bearing
on American policy towards
Afghanistan and its neighbour
Pakistan from the 9/11 attacks until
the mission ended in 2016.
This might make for compelling
reading for those obsessed with the
inner workings of the Washington
Beltway, but to my mind the book
would have benefited from some
judicious editing. Many of the early
chapters are no more than a rehash
of what we already know about the
catastrophic intelligence failure of
the CIA to prevent the worst
terrorist attack in American
history, and the blind panic that
took hold of the Bush
administration in its aftermath.
Where the book does come into
its own is in the later chapters, in
which Coll and his small army of
researchers examine in detail the
policy and personality battles that
eroded the effectiveness of a
campaign that had begun with
the very simple objective of
destroying al-Qaeda. And although
Coll reserves much of his criticism
for the Westerners involved, he
makes it clear that one of the
greatest obstacles to its success
was the pernicious influence of
Pakistan’s all-powerful ISI
intelligence agency.
Directorate S, the book’s title,
refers to an ISI unit set up to
support and even run the Taliban
in Afghanistan, as part of the
Pakistani government’s attempts
to maintain its influence over its
neighbour. For all the considerable
help that Islamabad received from
Washington, Coll makes it
abundantly clear the ISI was never
serious about relinquishing its
mentoring role over the Taliban.
Even if Pakistan’s political and
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
To order any of these books
from the Telegraph, visit
books.telegraph.co.uk
or call 0844 871 1514
BIG BEASTS
TATE
The Italian
Teacher is set in
the art world of
the Fifties and
Seventies,
periods covered
in All Too
Human: Bacon,
Freud and a
Century of
Painting Life on
at Tate Britain
until Aug 27.
It features this,
Lucian Freud’s
Girl With a White
Dog, 1950-51
wickedly funny – Rachman has
an eye for life’s cruelty worthy
of Waugh – but it is also deeply
touching in its tender portrayals
of life’s victims, such as poor
Natalie, who pursues her clumsy
art without encouragement or
reward: “At the counter, she
knocks over their pot of hot
water, then insists on cleaning the
puddle, grabbing handfuls of the
restaurant’s paper towels despite
military leaders were serious when
they said they did not control the
Taliban, their conduct suggested
otherwise. For example,
throughout the entire course of the
Afghanistan mission, the Taliban
leadership, or shura, was based in
the frontier town of Quetta, which
is supposed to be under the control
of the Pakistan government. As one
American official remarked
sarcastically, when pointing this
out to a Pakistani counterpart,
“They’re not called the
BOOTS
Milwaukee shura.”
ON THE
But so desperate were the
GROUND
Americans to do a deal with
British troops
the Taliban that they ended
south-east of
up encouraging the Pakistanis
Kabul, 2007
to negotiate on the Taliban’s
behalf. The result was the
ludicrous situation where
Islamabad set itself up as an
interlocutor for the Taliban while
at the same time insisting it had no
knowledge of where the Taliban
leadership was hiding. This canard
was exposed when Mullah Omar,
the Taliban’s spiritual leader, died
of tuberculosis in a Karachi
hospital, even though the
Pakistanis were still denying any
knowledge of his whereabouts.
the waitstaff telling her it’s quite
all right: ‘Really. Just leave it.
Please.’ Natalie won’t. The queue
lengthens, everyone glowering at
this kook on her hands and knees,
wiping the floor.”
Although the art world and its
monsters are evoked in loving and
less than loving detail, from Fifties
Rome to Seventies New York to
the Hirstian excesses of the early
21st-century gallery scene, this is
really a novel about authenticity.
Most obviously, it questions the
authenticity of Bear Bavinsky’s
essentially lonely genius but,
more slyly, it explores authenticity
of fatherhood, of intimacy, of
self-belief. Pinch’s funny-sad story
begins as a quest for recognition –
as a son, as an artist and then as a
writer – but then, almost without
his noticing, becomes the story of
someone disappearing and going
to insane lengths to leave no trace.
Inevitably, as it covers all but
five years in a man’s life, this is
also a novel about mortality and
the body’s steady slackening
and betrayal. Pinch is as pitiful a
specimen as his lifelong nickname
implies, and does himself few
favours, so that the reader longs
to rescue him from himself and
his terrible dress sense, but one
of Rachman’s great achievements
here is to convey the sense of
the passionate, ever-hopeful
soul trapped behind the kind of
appearance over which people’s
glances skate.
Art – the pursuit of it, the
admiration of it, the coveting of it
and the fighting over its legacy –
comes, here, to seem to be about
mortality and the deeply human
need to make our mark. I confess
this was the first of Rachman’s
novels I’d read but I was so swept
away by it that I raced out to buy
the other three.
Patrick Gale’s latest novel, Take
Nothing With You, is out this
year. Call 0844 871 1514 to order
The Italian Teacher for £16.99
The other lesson that emerges
from the book is that Washington
never really overcame the
cultural divide with the people
supposed to be its allies. After
a terrorist killed a local militia
leader by concealing a bomb in
his turban, the Americans insisted
that all senior Afghans should
remove their turbans before
meeting their own politicians,
a move that caused the Afghans
deep offence, and in reality
ensured that no such meetings
ever took place.
The real reason, though, that the
mission finished without achieving
its objectives was the Obama
administration’s decision to
withdraw coalition forces and
negotiate with the Taliban instead.
Of course, once Washington had
announced its withdrawal, the
Taliban saw no reason to take the
negotiations seriously. And this is
why, after all the hard work to
bring security to Afghanistan,
groups like al-Qaeda and Isil are
once again active in this benighted
country.
Call 0844 871 1514 to order
from the Telegraph for £19.99
27
28
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
BOOKS
REVIEWS
Party like an
existentialist
LEFT BANK
by Agnès Poirier
400pp, Bloomsbury,
£25, ebook £21
ÌÌÌÌÌ
O
ne of my favourite
pieces of medical
trivia is the existence
of “Paris Syndrome”.
Essentially, it is a form
of disappointment so severe that
it causes nervous breakdown.
First noted in Japanese tourists,
it strikes visitors to Paris who,
under the influence of a thousand
idealising books and films, expect
it to be a kind of cultural paradise
on Earth, with food and manners
to match. For some of these
unfortunates the city’s reality
– brusque and often urinous –
comes as such a shock that they
literally go mad. Symptoms range
from depression and dissociation
right through to persecution
mania and suicidal impulses –
at their most acute, the same
outward signs as schizophrenia.
If it were not so serious, Paris
Syndrome would be laughable:
talk about rose-tinted spectacles.
But it is a testament to Paris that
such idealisations have anything
to build on in the first place. It is
undeniably a mythic sort of town,
and almost no period is richer in
myths than the decade that Agnès
Poirier charts in her excellent
Left Bank. Among the unspooling
hardships of the Second World
War and its aftermath, the Rive
Gauche in the years from 1940
to 1950 was home to an epochmaking array of characters “whose
intellectual and artistic output still
influences how we think, live and
even dress today”. Even correcting
for nostalgia, it seems to have been
a time when giants really did walk
the Earth, and a certain few square
miles of it in particular.
Once you start listing them, it is
hard to stop: Simone de Beauvoir,
Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus,
Picasso, Giacometti, Boris Vian,
visited by Richard Wright, James
Baldwin, and Miles Davis… all
mingling in the same few streets
and cafés. At their knees, the
next generation would include
chanteuse Juliette Gréco and
film-maker François Truffaut.
It is hard to imagine Samuel
Beckett mingling with anyone,
but he was there too, of course,
as was Saul Bellow, looking on
with bourgeois disapproval while
secretly indulging in most of the
city’s temptations.
It would be easy to romanticise
this, and one of the best qualities
of Left Bank is that Poirier does
not. On the material side, her Paris
is dominated by the deprivations
of the Nazi occupation and its
aftermath, with rationing of food,
fuel, clothes and other basic
LEADING
LADY
De Beauvoir
emerges as
the hero in
a world of
selfish men
GAMMA-KEYSTONE VIA GETTY IMAGES
The intellectual giants of
Forties Paris found a lot to
tempt them away from the
desk. By Tim Smith-Laing
necessities persisting until the
Marshall Plan kicked in at the
end of the decade. In the decrepit
hotels and sixth-floor chambres
de bonne (“maids rooms”) that
the Left Bank intellectuals largely
called home, conditions were
basic, to say the least. Poirier
does not harp on it – she avoids
slipping into gutter romanticism
– but she never lets the grubby
bareness fall out of view either.
On the moral and political side,
the city was haunted by the ghosts
of collaboration, cowardice, and
the simple shame of impotent
capitulation – further complicated
by post-war tensions arising from
the Communist Party’s starring
role in the Resistance and the
threat of Stalin’s USSR in the East.
Intellectually, matters were
mixed. Despite, or perhaps
because of, the Sartrean doctrine
of engagement (still the sine qua
non of artistic and intellectual
life in France) the Left Bank
thinkers were not paragons of
the carefully thought through.
Poirier notes that despite the
“undeniable successes”, they
“left behind a litany of failures”.
Intellectually and politically, it
could hardly be otherwise: they
aroused “so much wild hope” for
change that anything less than
world revolution was bound to
be a disappointment. Personally
and morally, Sartre, Camus,
Arthur Koestler and company
were complex to say the least –
swayed by fame, continuously
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
29
To order any of these books
from the Telegraph, visit
books.telegraph.co.uk
or call 0844 871 1514
bed-hopping, and, in Koestler’s
case, domestically abusive, their
engagement had a blind spot for
their nearest and dearest.
That is one of the things that
makes them so interesting, and
Poirier makes clear that Left
Bank is as much about this
“intellectual irresponsibility as
about political, artistic, moral and
sexual incandescence.” The result
is neither fiction nor academic
history, but “a collage of images,
a kaleidoscope of destinies”.
While this threatens something
flou, as the French might say, Left
Bank turns out instead to be both
carefully researched and well-told.
It has a huge cast, any of whom
could be the subject of a book on
their own, but Poirier marshals
them deftly. Gossipy without being
prurient, she is particularly good
at tracing the links between the
work and the ever-shifting sexual
liaisons of her subjects.
Out of it all, though, it is de
Beauvoir who appears as a calm
centre, despite being just as
prolific as her partner Sartre.
Though their men were often
selfish and dominating, the Left
Bank women “took a central
role”, and de Beauvoir most of all.
Her brutal dissection of sexual
politics in The Second Sex is almost
certainly the most influential of all
the Left Bankers’ books. Providing
the intellectual basis for postwar feminist thought, it is still a
searing, brilliant read today. De
Beauvoir emerges, quite justifiably,
as Left Bank’s hero.
It is, by design, a whistlestop tour, with the inevitable
shallowness that that brings. I
found myself wanting much more
of the writing and the art itself.
But in its way this is a strength,
too: there are worse complaints
to make than that a group study
such as this drives you back to the
subjects’ work. Next time I go back
to Paris, I have a shopping list of
books I need to find among the
stalls of the bouquinistes.
Call 0844 871 1514 to order
from the Telegraph for £19.99
PAPERBACKS
READ THIS WEEK
HOUSE OF NAMES
by Colm Tóibín
272pp, Viking, £8.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
There are echoes of Greek
tragedy – intergenerational
strife, fraught mothers and
sons – in Tóibín’s earlier
novels. Here he fuses
those experiments and
takes us decisively to
ancient Greece to retell
The Oresteia:
Clytemnestra’s murder of
Agamemnon and her
murder in turn by their son
Orestes. It’s a masterpiece.
POETRY
‘It was
fun, some
of the time’
Wendy Cope’s pathos works
best if served with jokes, says
Tristram Fane Saunders
ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE
BLUEBIRD,
BLUEBIRD
by Attica Locke
320pp, Serpent’s Tail,
£7.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
A black laywer’s body is
found in a Texan swamp.
The Aryan Brotherhood
rule the roost, but it’s clear
that there was more
behind his death than
mindless racism. Locke,
with her tight, bright prose,
may be America’s most
interesting crime writer.
THEFT BY FINDING
by David Sedaris
560pp, Abacus, £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This first of two volumes of
Sedaris’s diaries takes us
from 1977 to 2002, and
sees him grow from a
despondent 21-year-old
into the man recognised as
possibly the best humorist
of the 2000s. Even in the
earliest entries, the familiar
voice is there: capable of
darkness and profundity,
but above all very funny.
by Wendy Cope
66pp, Faber, £14.99,
ebook £9.98
ÌÌÌÌÌ
CHILDREN’S BOOKS
You don’t
have to kill
that dragon
Emily Bearn on a rival to
‘Goodnight Stories for Rebel
Girls’ – but this time for boys
STORIES FOR BOYS
WHO DARE TO BE
DIFFERENT
by Ben Brooks
208pp, Quercus,
£17.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Wendy Cope’s last book, 2011’s
Family Values, quoted a critic on
the cover: “Without the heart
the jokes would not be so good.”
Sadly, Anecdotal Evidence shows
the reverse is also true. In the
most serious collection yet from
Britain’s leading comic poet, the
pathos carries less weight without
the jokes.
When she combines them, it’s
wonderful – as in the best of
several elegies here, a two-part
poem for Arthur S Couch, the aptly
named shrink to whom she
dedicated her first book, 1986’s
Making Cocoa for Kingsley Amis.
She wishes he could have seen his
own funeral; even “the Kleinians
were crying”. The first part is a
triolet, a fiendishly simple form
that’s become Cope’s calling card.
She can still make such tricksy
structures look effortless (see also a
clutch of Shakespearean sonnets
about Shakespeare), but don’t
expect the virtuoso literary spoofs
and formal fireworks of her early
bestsellers. The closest we get to a
pastiche here is “At 70”, an ode to
fogeyishness set to the tune of
Gilbert and Sullivan’s “MajorGeneral’s Song” (“Where prosody’s
concerned, I’ve never been a
libertarian/ And I’m not changing
now that I’m a septuagenarian.”)
Cope has a facility for plainspoken public-service verse,
giving us a set of wedding vows
(“I love you and I want to make
you happy”) and a Christmas
carol, but the results can feel
oddly impersonal. As the title
hints, this book’s best poems are
personal anecdotes made
universal: “1972” wryly recalls
her poor choice of boyfriends
that year (“the hippie librarians
from Islington… They smoked
dope. They had beards./ They
were very alternative”), before a
Larkinesque turn: “It was fun,
some of the time,/ While it lasted.
You could say that,/ I suppose,
about most years,/ About most
lives.” Wit and heart? Cope’s fans
should rest assured there are
enough gems here with both.
One of last year’s runaway
successes was Good Night Stories
for Rebel Girls, an anthology of 100
inspirational women who flouted
convention and achieved amazing
things. In Britain, this children’s
book outsold Michael Wolff ’s Fire
and Fury by almost two to one.
Now comes Stories for Boys who
Dare to be Different, which dares to
use a not-so-different formula: the
stories of 100 male “rule-breakers”
who have “changed the world
without killing dragons”.
We are told: “Boys need to know
that prince charmings and brave
hunters are not the only role
models.” I suspect most boys know
that already. But for any 12-year-old
out there still lost in the world of
Biggles Flies Again, this will prove
an entertaining eye-opener. Many
of the entries are fairly predictable
– Galileo, Bill Gates and Barack
Obama – but some are less so.
There is no mention of Winston
Churchill, but George VI, who
battled his stammer to speak in
public, gets a page, along with
Grayson Perry: “Sometimes, he
found it more exciting to wear
clothes that other people said
were for girls.”
There is no introduction, and
the author Ben Brooks – who at
25 has already written seven
novels – does not explain why
some “amazing boys” have been
chosen over others. Why are
there entries for the Buddha and
Confucius, but not for Jesus or
Francis of Assisi? The narrative,
though, is always one of triumph
against the odds, which makes
immensely consoling reading.
Take poor David Attenborough,
whose wildlife documentary
proposals were initially scorned
by his BBC bosses: “There
weren’t many programmes about
the natural world, and they
weren’t sure that anyone would
want to watch them. They also
thought that David’s teeth were
too big, and that no one would
want to watch him either.”
30
***
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
TV &
Radio
Films
page 32
Sport
page 33
YOU R C OM PL E T E S E V E N-DAY L I ST I NG S
E A S T E R DAY,
B B C ON E , 9.0 0 PM
page 36
O R D E A L BY I N N O C E N C E
Who’s lying
in Christie’s
mystery?
S AT U R DAY,
B B C T WO, 9.0 0 PM
page 34
HAMLET
F R I DAY,
B B C T WO, 9.0 0 PM
page 46
THE CITY & THE CITY
A tale of two cities
Andrew
Scott’s
great
Dane
Radio
page 48
31
32
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Films of the week
SATURDAY
SHREK FOREVER
AFTER
2010
BBC One, 3.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
The fourth and final episode
in DreamWorks’ green ogre
franchise is an animated
variation on It’s a Wonderful
EASTER DAY
FILM OF THE WEEK
SHAUN THE SHEEP
MOVIE
2015
BBC One, 12.40pm;
not Scotland
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Aardman’s beloved TV
character is a gloriously
EASTER
MONDAY
SEVEN BRIDES FOR
SEVEN BROTHERS
1954
Channel 5, 1.10pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This MGM musical – still
heart-warming 64 years on
– is expertly choreographed
by Michael Kidd and
TUESDAY
NIGHT AT THE
MUSEUM
2006
E4, 8.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Hoping to impress his son,
dreamer Larry Daley (Ben
Stiller) takes a job as a
nightwatchman at the
WEDNESDAY
American Museum of
Natural History, where he
discovers that the exhibits
come to life after dark.
Featuring Robin Williams,
Ricky Gervais and Owen
Wilson, this romp was
panned by most critics,
but is good, unpretentious
fun – and who doesn’t love
a pet dinosaur skeleton.
CARRY ON UP
THE KHYBER
1968
ITV3, 4.10pm
One of the best Carry Ons
features a typically silly plot
(something about whether
the Third Foot and Mouth
NANNY MCPHEE
2015
ITV2, 10.20am
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Emma Thompson wrote
and stars in this sweet and
old-fashioned fantasy film,
based on Christianna
Brand’s Nurse Matilda
FRIDAY
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Ben Stiller stars as a local
do-gooder who sets up
a neighbourhood watch
group in his Ohio suburb
after his friend is murdered,
crackpot, silent comedy
wonder, tickling the same
neglected folds of your brain
and gut as Chaplin, Keaton,
and Laurel and Hardy. In this
fun-packed tale, Shaun and
his flock scour The Big City
for their suddenly amnesiac
farmer. For more family
friendly animation, Dumbo
(1941) is on Channel 4 at 4pm.
ÌÌÌÌÌ
David Ayer’s study of the
habits and habitats of the
American killer male is an
astonishing, stirring drama.
It’s Germany 1945, and Sgt
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Mockney mini-maestro
Guy Ritchie turns his
hand to Sherlock Holmes,
in this energetic and
explosive reworking of
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This is as warm and
welcome as a hot pair of
socks on a winter morning.
The bear from Darkest Peru
is brought beautifully to life
BRIDESMAIDS
2011
ITV2, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This sharply written and
hilarious comedy combining
bad taste with good humour
is a valiant backlash against
sugary chick flicks, but also
regiment, stationed in 1890s
India, wear anything under
their kilts) and a terrific mob
of dubious characters,
including the Khasi of
Kalabar (Kenneth Williams),
Sir Sidney Ruff-Diamond
(Sid James) and Private
Widdle (Charles Hawtrey).
Carry on Camping is on
Thursday at 4.15pm.
CARS 3
2017
Sky Cinema Premiere,
6.10pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Pixar gives Lightning
McQueen (Owen Wilson) a
sweet, surprisingly profound
victory lap in which the
ÌÌÌÌÌ
James Bond (Roger Moore)
battles one of his more
extraordinary opponents,
Kananga (Yaphet Kotto),
a Caribbean criminal
Don “Wardaddy” Collie
(Brad Pitt) and his team
are grinding towards Berlin
in a battered M4 Sherman
tank. There is no rescue
mission, just an agonising
rumble from one brush
with death to the next.
The set-piece battles are
gripping, and the raw terror
of war is blasted home.
only to find himself battling
aliens rather than burglars,
in this wacky comedy. With
a strong cast (Vince Vaughn,
Jonah Hill and The IT
Crowd’s Richard Ayoade),
plus the writing team behind
the excellent Superbad, it
should be better than it is.
Still, there are a few laughs
among the groans.
Conan Doyle’s sleuth –
which predates the BBC’s
TV series starring Benedict
Cumberbatch. Robert
Downey Jnr is – as ever –
a wry delight in the title
role, and Jude Law makes
a reliable and witty Dr
Watson. Mark Strong
hams it up as the baddy,
Lord Blackwood.
by Ben Whishaw and the
digital artists at visual effects
house Framestore; it’s every
bit as charming as Michael
Bond’s original. Hugh
Bonneville and Sally
Hawkins are terrific as
Paddington’s guardians Mr
and Mrs Brown. Look out for
a very game Nicole Kidman
as a fanatical taxidermist.
a poignant evocation of
loneliness. Annie (Kristen
Wiig) agrees to be her friend
Lillian’s (Maya Rudolph)
maid of honour, but the
other bridesmaids (including
Rose Byrne and Melissa
McCarthy) create havoc for
her. The real heart of the
film lies in the interactions
between the women.
LIVE AND LET DIE
1973
ITV4, 9.00pm
books. She plays an old
nanny who finds that the
children of a widower
(Colin Firth) are a challenge,
even for her. Poised
between Lemony Snicket
and Mary Poppins, the film
has moral messages to
impart, but luckily not
at the expense of an
enjoyable, magical tale.
FURY
2014
5STAR, 9.00pm
SHERLOCK HOLMES
2009
ITV, 10.15pm
PADDINGTON
2014
Film4, 4.40pm
directed by Stanley Donen.
Howard Keel stars as Adam
Pontipee, a rough-edged
Oregon woodsman who
marries the sassy Milly
(Jane Powell) hours after
meeting. Jealous, Adam’s
six brothers kidnap women
whom they later woo: a
dubious plot is made up for
by the film’s exuberance.
ÌÌÌÌÌ
THURSDAY
THE WATCH
2012
E4, 9.00pm
Life, with Shrek conned into
signing away the day of his
own birth; his wife and
friends no longer know who
he is, and the land of Far Far
Away is ruled by the evil
Rumpelstiltskin. It’s no
classic, but more fun than
Shrek the Third and an
entertaining flourish to
finish the franchise.
FOUR WEDDINGS
AND A FUNERAL
1994
Film4, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
The best of Richard Curtis
and Hugh Grant’s romcoms
about awfully nice chaps
dithering over frightfully
fading champion of the
racing circuit is bustled back
to boot camp. Written and
directed by Dave Mullins, it’s
ingeniously animated and
springs from an astute and
precise observation of
human nature: the only way
to defeat our demons is to
dismantle them in good
faith, piece by piece.
mastermind masquerading
as a Harlem drug baron.
The film was given
lukewarm reviews on
its release, but this is
Moore-era Bond at its
preposterous best.
Highlights include 007’s
voodoo snake ordeal and
a thrilling speedboat chase
through New Orleans.
pretty girls. Grant plays
bumbling Charles, who,
ah, er, can’t tell what’s,
um, going on between
him and the scrummy
Carrie (Andie MacDowell),
who he keeps, gosh,
bumping into at weddings.
It’s aged pretty well and
certainly knocks spots off
Love, Actually.
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
SPORT OF
THE WEEK
THE BOURNE
IDENTITY
2002
ITV, 10.15pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Matt Damon puts the
frighteners on the CIA (and
the producers of James
Bond) with this slick first
SELMA
2014
BBC Two, 11.00pm;
Wales, 11.20pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
David Oyelowo gives an
inspired and electrifying
performance as Martin
Luther King, in this furious,
gutsy, and all-too timely
account of the 1965 civil
rights marches in Selma,
Alabama. It was an Oscar
nominee for Best Picture,
but the shutout for his
portrayal, and for director
Ava DuVernay’s layered
grasp of this historical
moment, left a blot on the
2015 awards.
STAND BY ME
1986
Universal Channel,
5.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Few coming-of-age dramas
can rival Rob Reiner’s
powerful tale about four
plucky boys who go in
THE GRAND
BUDAPEST HOTEL
2014
Film4, 11.05pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Ralph Fiennes gives one of
his finest performances in
this typically quirky Wes
Anderson comedy as
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Asa Butterfield gives an
intrepid and complex
performance as Ender
Wiggin, brightest fledgling
in a boot camp, where he
ÌÌÌÌÌ
After the dismal Revolver
and Swept Away (which
starred his ex-wife
Madonna), Guy Ritchie
attempts a return to Lock,
Anthony Joshua Saturday, Sky Box Office, 6.00pm
EUROPEAN RUGBY
CHAMPIONS CUP
search of a missing teenager.
Based on Stephen King’s
autobiographical novella, it’s
beautifully observed and
wonderfully nostalgic. It is
also probably the finest film
that River Phoenix made, his
angelic appearance here a
tragic reminder of a talent
wasted (he died seven years
later). With Corey Feldman.
Monsieur Gustave,
a concierge who becomes
embroiled in an inheritance
dispute with ludicrous
consequences. The tale
unfolds through the eyes of
a young bell boy called Zero
Moustafa (Tony Revolori).
Fiennes’s ridiculous
fussiness is fleshed out
with skill and timing.
ENDER’S GAME
2013
Film4, 6.50pm
ROCKNROLLA
2008
5STAR, 10.00pm
film in the excellent Bourne
series, about an amnesiac
government assassin with
a score to settle. Damon
gives his character
surprising plausibility, and
Franka Potente is credibly
terrified as the ingénue love
interest who gets caught in
the middle of it all. Clive
Owen and Julia Stiles co-star.
ÌÌÌÌÌ
An adaptation of the
historical novel The Wettest
County in the World,
John Hillcoat’s Prohibitionera western follows three
With a place in the
semi-finals of the
Champions Cup at stake,
Munster take on Toulon
at Thomond Park. The
home side have been
sweating on the fitness of
Simon Zebo, Andrew
Conway and Rory Scannell
in the build-up, while
Toulon warmed up for
today’s match in style: with
a thumping 49-0 victory
over Clermont. Munster,
however, have only lost
once at home in a quarterfinal – against Ulster in
2012 – and the French side
tend not to travel well.
BOXING
and other youngsters
prepare to save humanity by
honing their skills in a series
of strategic war games. It’s
refreshingly ideas-driven
and forces you to grapple
with the issue of war-asvideo game without ever
overemphasising it. Plus,
there’s Ben Kingsley
sporting a Maori accent.
Stock and Two Smoking
Barrels-esque form with
another testosterone-heavy,
twisty tale set in London’s
underworld. The plot
moves vaguely around the
theft of a painting from
a Russian mobster (Karl
Roden) while getting
tangled up in various
sub-plots.
LAWLESS
2012
Channel 4, 12.45am
Munster v Toulon
Saturday, Sky Sports Main
Event, 2.55pm
Anthony Joshua v
Joseph Parker
Saturday, Sky Box Office,
6.00pm
Anthony Joshua’s
continued bid to unify
boxing’s heavyweight
division sees him square
up to another unbeaten
fighter, Joseph Parker at
the Principality Stadium in
Cardiff, with three of the
division’s four titles on the
line. In this winner-takesall fight it is not only the
WBO, WBA and IBF titles
on the line, but also the
pugilists’ undefeated
records. Should Joshua win
as predicted, he will follow
in the footsteps of fellow
Brit Lennox Lewis, who
became undisputed
heavyweight champion
following his victory over
Evander Holyfield, holding
the IBF, WBA and WBC
titles in 2000. Wladimir
Klitschko and Tyson Fury
are the only heavyweights
Manchester City manager Pep
Guardiola BT Sport 2, 7.45pm
to hold three titles at one
time since then.
PREMIER LEAGUE
Champions League in
tatters. Going into today’s
match at Stamford Bridge,
they are sitting five points
adrift of Spurs, who have
not won on this ground
since February 10, 1990,
when Gary Lineker was on
the scoresheet.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Liverpool v
Manchester City
Wednesday, BT Sport 2,
7.45pm
You have to go as far back
as the 2010/11 season for
two English sides to meet
in a Champions League
quarter-final. On that
occasion, Manchester
United beat Chelsea 3-1 on
aggregate on their way to
the final. Expect goals
aplenty – Manchester City
trounced Liverpool 5-0 in
September, but the Reds
got their own back in
January, inflicting a 4-3
defeat on Pep Guardiola’s
men.
ATHLETICS
Chelsea v
Tottenham Hotspur
Sunday, Sky Sports Main
Event, 3.30pm
Commonwealth Games
Thursday, BBC One, from
12.15am
Having struggled in 2018,
Chelsea know that
anything less than a victory
today against Spurs will
leave their hopes of
qualifying for next season’s
Day one from Queensland,
Australia, as England’s
Olympic bronze medallist
Vicky Holland is among
those hoping for glory in
the women’s triathlon.
GOLF
The Masters
Thursday, Sky Sports Main
Event, 7.00pm
brothers (played by Tom
Hardy, Shia LaBeouf and
Jason Clarke), who do
a tidy business distilling and
selling illegal moonshine
whiskey. It’s an oddly
affectionate clan portrait –
the violence the brothers
mete out is implicitly
forgiven – but the period
detail is well observed.
Bubba Watson Thursday, Sky Sports Main Event, 7.00pm
The opening day of 2018’s
first Major comes from the
Augusta National in
Georgia, where Spain’s
Sergio Garcia won the
coveted green jacket last
year. Two-time winner
Bubba Watson arrives in
ominous form, having
triumphed at the WGC
Match Play last week.
33
34
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION SATURDAY 31 MARCH
WHAT TO
WATCH
Blood ties: Jessica Brown Findlay and Luke Thompson
HAMLET
BBC Two, 9.00pm
The BBC last broadcast an
adaptation of Hamlet in
2009, with David
Tennant and Patrick
Stewart leading the cast
in a production reworked
specifically for the small
screen. This version by
Robert Icke is an “as live”
version, filmed at the
Harold Pinter Theatre in
London and it’s none the
worse for that. Hildegard
Bechtler’s subtle staging
allows the focus to fall on
some magnificent
performances while
retaining such striking
coups de théâtre as the
cast descending to the
stalls for the play scene,
or booming CCTV
transmissions and news
reports from an Elsinore
reimagined as a
surveillance state.
Andrew Scott is a
formidable Prince,
well-versed in controlled
playfulness, wiry wit and
wide-eyed insanity from
his time as Sherlock’s
Moriarty, seizing the big
soliloquies and rendering
them startlingly fresh.
Juliet Stevenson is a
sensual Gertrude, Angus
Wright a deliciously
slippery Claudius and
Jessica Brown Findlay a
heartbreakingly damaged
Ophelia. If the Bob Dylan
songs – including such
gorgeous deep cuts as
Blood on the Tracks
cast-off Up to Me – add
more to the atmosphere
than to narrative
coherence, the production
justifies every one of the
garlands thrown its way.
Gabriel Tate.
READY OR NOT
BBC One, 6.00pm
Paddy McGuinness
narrates this
determinedly wacky
new game show in
which unsuspecting
members of the
public are ambushed
and challenged to
complete an array
of daft challenges.
EASTER FROM KING’S
BBC Two, 6.15pm
Expect Easter standards
including Were You
There? and This Joyful
Eastertide, performed by
the choir of Kings College
chapel, Cambridge.
ANT & DEC’S SATURDAY
NIGHT TAKEAWAY
ITV, 7.00pm
Following Ant McPartlin’s
drink-driving charge and
subsequent return to
rehab, the unthinkable is
happening: Declan
Donnelly is going it alone
as the host of ITV’s
biggest, brightest
entertainment show for
its final two episodes.
He’s joined by Stephen
David Attenborough’s
Wonder of Eggs
Merchant, whose
near-the-knuckle
instincts could make him
a dicey choice for Star
Guest Announcer, and
Paloma Faith, who belts
out her new single.
ATTENBOROUGH’S
WONDER OF EGGS
BBC Two, 8.00pm
David Attenborough
delivers another intimate
and focused but no less
insightful survey of the
natural world. Here, he
examines eggs in all their
diversity, from the
lengthy fertilisation
process to the differing
strategies deployed by
cuckoos and guillemots
to protect their unborn
chicks. GT
BBC One
BBC Two
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
10.00 Saturday Kitchen Live
(S)
11.30 Classic Mary Berry (AD)
(R) (S)
12.00 Football Focus (S)
1.00 pm News (S)
1.15 Bargain Hunt (AD) (R)
(S)
2.00 MasterChef (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 MasterChef (AD) (R) (S)
3.00 FILM Shrek Forever
After (2010) Animated
comedy USee Films of
the week, p32 (AD) (S)
4.25 Final Score (S)
5.15 A Question of Sport (R)
(S)
5.45 Doodlebugs (S)
6.00 Ready or Not New series
See What to watch (S)
6.30 News (S)
6.40 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S)
6.45 Pointless Celebrities (S)
6.10 am The Wonder of
Animals (AD) (R) (S)
6.40 Naomi’s Nightmares of
Nature (R) (S)
7.10 The Pets Factor (S)
7.30 The Dengineers (S)
8.00 Absolute Genius (S)
8.30 Beyond Bionic (AD) (S)
9.00 Robot Wars (R) (S)
10.00 Gordon Buchanan:
Elephant Family & Me
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Six Puppies and Us (AD)
(R) (S)
12.00 The Ladykillers: Pest
Detectives (AD) (R) (S)
1.00 pm FILM Cromwell
(1970) (S)
3.15 Canterbury Cathedral
(AD) (R) (S)
4.15 The Secret Helpers (AD)
(R) (S)
5.15 Big Cats About the
House (AD) (R) (S)
6.15 Easter from King’s See
What to watch (S)
ITV
6.00
7.30
9.25
9.30
11.25
12.25
12.30
1.00
1.30
2.00
3.00
4.00
5.00
6.00
6.15
6.30
Channel 4
am CITV
Scrambled!
News (S)
James Martin’s
Saturday Morning (S)
Who’s Doing the
Dishes? (R) (S)
pm News (S)
The Harbour (AD) (R) (S)
Best Walks with a View
with Julia Bradbury (R)
(S)
Britain’s Brightest
Family (AD) (R) (S)
Celebrity Catchphrase
(R) (S)
Tenable (R) (S)
Tipping Point (R) (S)
The Chase (R) (S)
News (S)
Regional News (S)
New You’ve Been
Framed! (S)
6.10 am Marathon: Maraton
del Meridiano (S)
6.40 Triathlon: Challenge
Wanaka (S)
7.05 The King of Queens (R)
(S)
7.55 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.50 Frasier (AD) (R) (S)
10.25 The Big Bang Theory
(AD) (R) (S)
11.50 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
1.20 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
2.20 Coast vs Country (R) (S)
3.25 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
5.30 The Secret Life of the
Zoo (AD) (R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
7.35 Who Dares Wins Game
show in which strangers
pair up to win money (S)
7.30 Dad’s Army Sergeant
Wilson joins the
aristocracy (R) (S)
7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway
Stephen Merchant is on
duty as the Star Guest
Announcer. Presented by
Declan Donnelly See
What to watch (S)
7.00 Coastal Railways with
Julie Walters The
actress travels from
Newcastle to Edinburgh
(AD) (R) (S)
8.20 Casualty Glen and Robyn
are both rushed to the
ED (AD) (S)
8.00 Attenborough’s Wonder
of Eggs David
Attenborough reveals
the secrets of birds’
eggs See What to watch
(AD) (S)
8.00 Britain at Low Tide A
wreck close to the scene
of one of Britain’s worst
railway disasters. Last in
the series (AD) (S)
9.10 Troy: Fall of a City King
Priam takes his life into
his hands (AD) (S)
9.00 Hamlet The Almeida
Theatre’s 2017
production of
Shakespeare’s play
starring Andrew Scott,
and recorded as-live in
its West End transfer on
the stage of London’s
Harold Pinter Theatre
See What to watch (S)
8.30 The Voice UK Emma
Willis hosts the live semifinal of the singing
contest, as the eight
remaining contestants
compete to impress the
public and win one of the
four places in next
week’s show (S)
10.10 News (S)
10.30 Match of the Day
Highlights of Everton v
Manchester City (S)
12.00 FILM Forget Me Not
(2011) Romantic drama
with Tobias Menzies and
Genevieve O’Reilly (S)
1.35 - 6.00am News (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: 5.00 - 5.15pm Final Score
from Northern Ireland
BBC Two: No variations
UTV: 1.10am Teleshopping 2.40 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: 4.25 - 5.15pm Sportscene
BBC Two: 5.15pm 50 Years of Reporting
Scotland: The News Where We Are 5.45 6.15pm Eòrpa (European Current Affairs)
STV: 12.20am Teleshopping 1.20 After
Midnight 2.50 Babushka 3.40 ITV
Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
5.30 - 6.00am Teleshopping
12.15 am Civilisations (AD) (R)
(S) 1.15 FILM Therese
Desqueyroux (2012)
Drama starring Audrey
Tautou 3.00 - 6.20am
This Is BBC Two (S)
10.00 News (S)
10.15 FILM The Bourne
Identity (2002) Thriller
starring Matt Damon U
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S)
12.20 am Goodwood Members
Meeting Highlights (S)
1.10 Jackpot247 3.00
Babushka (R) (S) (SL)
3.50 - 6.00am ITV
Nightscreen
9.00 FILM Taken 3 (2014)
Ex-CIA agent Bryan
Mills fights to clear his
own name after being
framed for his ex-wife’s
murder. Action thriller
sequel starring Liam
Neeson and Forest
Whitaker (AD) (S)
11.15 FILM AVP: Alien vs
Predator (2004) Sci-fi
thriller starring Sanaa
Lathan (AD) (S) 1.00am
Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) (S)
1.45 Hollyoaks (AD) (R)
(S) (SL) 3.55 The
Question Jury (R) (S)
4.50 George Clarke’s
Amazing Spaces (AD) (R)
(S) 5.45 - 6.15am
Streetmate (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
WA L E S
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 5.15 - 6.15pm Hugh’s Wild
West
ITV Wales: No variations
S4C
SKY LIVING
6.00am Cyw 8.00 Stwnsh Sadwrn 10.00
Yr Ynys 11.00 Pobol y Rhondda 11.30 O
Gymru Fach 12.30pm Newid Plwyf O Irac
i Landudoch 1.00 Ffermio 1.30 Cefn
Gwlad 2.30 Codi Hwyl 3.00 Rhodri
Morgan: Ysbiwr yn y Teulu 4.00 Popeth ar
Ffilm 4.30 O’r Galon 5.00 Sgorio 7.20
Newyddion 7.30 3 Lle 8.00 Gig Eden ac
Elin Fflur 9.00 Martha, Jac a Sianco
11.10 - 11.45pm Hansh
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
noon Border Security: Canada’s Front
Line 4.00pm To Catch a Smuggler: JFK
Airport 9.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers.
The so-called ‘Railway Killers’ John Duffy
and David Mulcahy, and the crimes of
Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper
11.00 World’s Most Evil Killers 12.00 2.00am Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK
ITV REGIONS
D AV E
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.10 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
11.20am Top Gear 12.50pm Top Gear:
Africa Special 3.20 Top Gear: Burma
Special 6.00 Red Bull Soapbox Race 7.00
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
10.10 FILM Gone with the
Wind (1939) Epic
romantic drama starring
Vivien Leigh and Clark
Gable (S)
2.30 pm FILM Oklahoma!
(1955) Rodgers and
Hammerstein’s musical
Western with Gordon
MacRae (S)
5.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (R) (S)
6.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away: Final Demand (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Blur/Oasis: The Britpop
Years – Liam Gallagher
BLUR/OASIS: THE
BRITPOP YEARS
Sky Arts, 9.00pm
7.00 Cruising with Jane
McDonald The singer
returns to Naples (R) (S)
8.00 Inside Windsor Castle
The dramatic series of
events between 1936
and 1952 (AD) (R) (S)
8.55 News (S)
9.00 20 Moments That
Rocked the 80s Cherie
Lunghi presents a
countdown of
memorable moments
from the 1980s (R) (S)
10.35 Most Shocking Sexist
TV of All Time A look at
how gender politics has
played out on television
from the 1960s to the
present day (S)
12.05 am SuperCasino (S) 3.10
Inside Manchester’s
Midland Hotel (AD) (R)
(S) 4.00 The X-Files (AD)
(R) (S) 4.45 House
Doctor (R) (S) (SL) 5.10
Great Artists (R) (S) (SL)
5.35 - 6.00am Wildlife
SOS (R) (S) (SL)
Not Going Out 7.40 Red Dwarf. Double
bill. The gang rally round Kryten 9.00
Would I Lie to You? 11.00 Dave Gorman:
Modern Life Is Goodish
12.00 - 1.00am QI XL
D I S C OV E RY
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Wheeler Dealers 1.00pm Blowing
Up History 2.00 Alaskan Bush People
7.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail 8.00 James
May’s Toy Stories 9.00 Royal Marines
Commando School 10.00 Murder on
CCTV 11.00 Street Justice: The Bronx
12.00 - 4.40am Wheeler Dealers
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 12.30pm Brooklyn
Nine-Nine 1.00 Young Sheldon 1.30 The
Big Bang Theory 4.00 The Great Celebrity
Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer 5.15
Extreme Cake Makers 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 9.00 FILM The Watch (2012) A
It was a grim irony that
the apex of media
excitement over Britpop
also coincided with the
release of its flagbearers’
worst singles. Blur’s
ribald romp Country
House may have pipped
Oasis’s stodgy rocker
Roll With It to number
one in the charts,
but, as this fun and
engaging documentary
really demonstrates,
Britpop leant rather
more towards style
than substance.
THE ZEN DIARIES OF
GARRY SHANDLING
Sky Atlantic, 10.00pm
Some have lamented the
fact that Garry Shandling
never followed up his
landmark Nineties
meta-sitcom, The Larry
Sanders Show, but then,
how do you improve on
comic perfection? Made
by one of Shandling’s
most-famous acolytes,
Judd Apatow, this
sprawling, balanced and
hilarious documentary
makes use of the
comedians’s chaotic but
comprehensive archives
to depict a gifted, often
difficult man who buried
his demons in his past
and took the art of comedy
very seriously. GT
supermarket manager forms a
neighbourhood watch group to patrol his
community, but stumbles on an alien
invasion. Sci-fi comedy starring Ben Stiller
USee Films of the week, p32 11.00
Gogglebox 12.00 - 1.05am Naked
Attraction
GOLD
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
noon The Vicar of Dibley 12.50pm Only
Fools and Horses 2.15 dinnerladies 3.30
dinnerladies diaries 4.30 dinnerladies
7.10 The Vicar of Dibley 8.00 Gavin &
Stacey 9.20 Mrs Brown’s Boys 10.00
Bridget & Eamon 11.00 - 2.20am
Gavin & Stacey
H I S T O RY
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
noon History’s Greatest Blunders 1.00pm
Pawn Stars: Best Of 2.00 Ice Road
Truckers 3.00 Pawn Stars: Pumped Up
4.00 Pawn Stars 5.00 Storage Wars 5.30
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Lost Kingdoms of
Central America The
Teotihuacan civilisation
(AD) (R) (S)
8.00 The Silk Road Sam Willis
continues his journey in
Iran. Last in the series
(AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Below the Surface
Distress spreads among
the hostages (S)
9.45 Below the Surface TTF’s
investigation leads them
to sources in the Danish
military and they seem
to be close to a
breakthrough (S)
10.30 Top of the Pops: 1985
(R) (S)
11.00 Top of the Pops: 1985
(R) (S)
11.30 The Highwaymen:
Friends Till the End (R)
(S)
12.25 am The Highwaymen
Live (R) (S)
2.25 Lost Kingdoms of
Central America (AD)
(R) (S)
3.25 Top of the Pops: 1985
(R) (S)
3.55 - 4.00am Sounds of the
Seventies: Solo (R) (S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
35
Film4
Sky One
11.00 am Rossini: Moses
12.30 pm Behold the Monkey
(S)
1.00 Jesus of Nazareth (S)
3.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 Rachel Hunter,
Stefanie Martini and
Conleth Hill are the
celebrity sitters (S)
4.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 With Elizabeth
McGovern, Fiona Shaw
and Kadeena Cox (S)
5.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 (S)
6.00 BST Hyde Park
Highlights 2017
Featuring the Killers,
Kings of Leon, Phil
Collins, Green Day and
Justin Bieber
8.00 Music Videos That
Defined the ’90s
9.00 Blur/Oasis: The Britpop
Years The rivalry
between the two bands
See What to watch
10.15 Liam Gallagher: Live in
New York
11.30 Video Killed the Radio
Star (AD) (S)
12.00 - 1.15am Oasis Live at
Barrowlands (S)
11.00 am The Indian in the
Cupboard (1995)
Children’s fantasy with
Hal Scardino (S)
1.00 pm The SpongeBob
SquarePants Movie
(2004) Animated
comedy with the voice of
Tom Kenny (S)
2.45 Robots (2005) Animated
adventure with the voice
of Ewan McGregor (S)
4.30 The Princess Diaries
(2001) An ordinary
teenager discovers she is
a princess and is ordered
by her regal grandmother
to start behaving
accordingly. Family
comedy starring Anne
Hathaway and Julie
Andrews (AD) (S)
6.45 Back to the Future
(1985) Sci-fi comedy
adventure starring
Michael J Fox (S)
9.00 Conan the Barbarian
(2011) Fantasy adventure
starring Jason Momoa (S)
11.10 - 1.40am Veteran (2015)
Freeview Premiere.
Comedy crime drama
starring Jung-min Hwang
11.30 am Live Premier
League
12.30 pm AJ: Off Limits
1.00 Modern Family (R) (S)
1.30 Modern Family (R) (S)
2.00 Modern Family (R) (S)
2.30 Modern Family (R) (S)
3.00 My Icon: Thierry Henry
(S)
3.15 Gillette Soccer
Saturday Up-to-theminute scores
6.00 The Simpsons Krusty
agrees to run for
Congress (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons Homer
becomes the owner of
the power plant (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons Lisa
pursues a career in
astronomy (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer
moves in with a gay
couple (R) (S)
8.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
Napalm is detected at a
crime scene (R) (S)
9.00 SEAL Team (R)
10.00 FILM Hostage (2005)
Thriller with Bruce Willis
12.05 - 1.05am A League of
Their Own: Best Bits
(AD) (R) (S)
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
11.55 am Celebrity
Catchphrase (R) (S)
12.55 pm You’ve Been
Framed! Gold (R) (S)
1.55 FILM The Flintstones in
Viva Rock Vegas (2000)
Family comedy starring
Mark Addy. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
3.40 FILM Nanny McPhee
(2005) Period fantasy
starring Emma
Thompson. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
5.45 FILM Mr Bean’s Holiday
(2007) Comedy starring
Rowan Atkinson and
Willem Dafoe. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
7.30 FILM Skyfall (2012)
James Bond thriller
starring Daniel Craig and
Javier Bardem. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
10.15 Celebrity Juice: Easter
Special (R) (S)
11.05 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.35 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.05 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.35 - 1.05am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.35 am FILM Holiday on the
Buses (1973) Comedy
with Reg Varney (AD) (S)
12.20 pm FILM Carry On
Cruising (1962) Comedy
with Sid James (AD) (S)
2.05 FILM Carry On Up the
Khyber (1968) Comedy
with Sid James (AD) (S)
3.55 Carry On Forever (R) (S)
4.55 Carry On Forever (R) (S)
6.00 Carry On Forever (R) (S)
7.00 Midsomer Murders
When a farmer is
discovered bound to a
tree, doused in truffle oil
and mauled to death by
a wild boar, the
investigation leads
Barnaby to a tyrannical
celebrity chef (AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Midsomer Murders
Barnaby and Nelson
team up with a pair of
female detectives in
Copenhagen (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 - 1.00am Vera DCI
Stanhope investigates a
murder at a remote
cottage in
Northumberland
(AD) (R) (S)
11.55 am Pawn Stars (R) (S)
12.25 pm The Big Fish Off (R)
(S)
1.30 ITV Racing Live from
Musselburgh Coverage
of today’s races from
Musselburgh and
Haydock Park (S)
4.00 FILM Dunkirk (1958, b/w)
Wartime adventure with
John Mills. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
6.45 FILM Aces High (1976)
Drama starring Malcolm
McDowell. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
9.00 FILM Lethal Weapon
(1987) An unstable
Vietnam veteran cop
teams up with a by-thebook detective to smash
a drug ring linked to a
woman’s apparent
suicide. Action thriller,
with Mel Gibson and
Danny Glover. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
11.10 - 1.20am FILM Fire
Down Below (1997)
Action adventure starring
Steven Seagal. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
12.00 noon CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (R) (S)
1.00 pm Cold Case (R) (S)
2.00 Cold Case (R) (S)
3.00 Cold Case (R) (S)
4.00 Without a Trace (R) (S)
5.00 Without a Trace (R) (S)
6.00 Without a Trace (R) (S)
7.00 Without a Trace Jack
and the team try to
locate an estate agent
who disappeared
during an appointment,
and discover he was
letting out properties
as brothels. Anthony
LaPaglia stars (R) (S)
8.00 Without a Trace A
member of a choir goes
missing (R) (S)
9.00 Blue Bloods Jamie and
Eddie ask Erin to drop
the charges against a
local hero
10.00 The Zen Diaries Of
Garry Shandling Part
one of two. An intimate
portrait of comedian
Garry Shandling See
What to watch
12.15 - 1.25am Westworld
(AD) (R) (S)
Robert Powell on the Real Jesus 8.00
American Pickers 9.00 Frontiersmen from
Leonardo DiCaprio 11.00 James Nesbitt:
Disasters That Changed Britain 12.00 1.00am Forged in Fire
of the Dead 6.00 Ultimate Tutankhamun
8.00 Herod’s Lost Tomb 9.00 Secrets of
Christ’s Tomb 10.00 Riddles Of The Bible
11.00 The Story of Us with Morgan
Freeman 12.00 - 2.00am Deadly Journey
of the Apostles
ITV2
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
11.30am A Place in the Sun: Home or
Away 2.40pm Four in a Bed 5.20 Come
Dine with Me 8.00 The Plane That Saved
Britain 9.00 Guy Martin’s Spitfire 10.35
Tsunami 11.40 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
Countdown 1.50am Kinky Britain 2.50 3.35am 8 Out of 10 Cats
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
W
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point: Lucky Stars 6.00pm
Gangsta Granny 7.30 FILM Ballet Shoes
(2007) Three orphaned sisters grow up
with different ambitions, but when their
guardian disappears, they are forced to
reassess their hopes for the future.
Drama with Emma Watson 9.20 Russell
Howard’s Good News 10.00 Inside the
Ambulance 11.20 999 Rescue Squad
12.00 - 1.00am One Born Every Minute
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Lost Tomb of Genghis Khan 1.00pm
Legend Of The Monkey God 2.00 The
Nazca Lines Mystery 3.00 Thames
Treasure Hunters 4.00 Egypt: Secret
Chambers Revealed 5.00 Egypt: Secrets
Y E S T E R D AY
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Murder Maps 7.00pm Ultimate
Covers at the BBC 8.00 Ultimate Number
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
Ones 9.00 Synth Britannia at the BBC
10.00 The Story of Quadrophenia: Can
You See the Real Me? 11.00 - 1.00am
Secrets of the Bible
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
6.00am Live Test Cricket 6.30 England v
New Zealand Classics 6.50 Masterclass:
Paul Collingwood 7.00 Total Goals 10.00
Soccer AM 11.30am Live Premier League.
Crystal Palace v Liverpool (Kick-off
12.30pm) 2.55pm Live European Rugby
Champions Cup. Munster v Toulon (Kickoff 3.15pm) 5.30 Live EFL. Hull City v
Aston Villa (Kick-off 5.30pm) 7.40 Live La
Liga Football. Sevilla v Barcelona (Kick-off
7.45pm) 9.45 Live PGA Tour Golf. The
Houston Open. Coverage of the third day
of the tournament at the Golf Club of
Houston in Humble, Texas 11.00 6.00am Live Test Cricket. New Zealand v
England. Coverage of the third day of the
Second Test in Christchurch
SKY 108
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
11.30am Live Premier League 3.15pm
Gillette Soccer Saturday 6.00 PL
Saturday Review 8.00 Best PL Goals
8.30 Nissan Game of the Day 10.30
Nissan Match Choice 11.00 - 6.00am
Premier League Highlights
BT SPORT 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
6.00am Premier League Preview 6.30
Live AFL 9.30 National League 11.00
Premier League Preview 11.30 Live
Scottish Football Extra noon Live
Scottish Professional Football League
2.45pm BT Sport Score 5.00 Live
Premier League 8.00 Premier League
Tonight 9.00 National League
Highlights 9.30 Scottish Football Extra
10.00 Scottish Professional Football
League 11.00 Live MLB 2.00am Live
MLB 5.00 - 6.00am SEC Storied
36
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION EASTER DAY
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Deviant: Alice Eve as obnoxious secretary Gwenda Vaughan
ORDEAL BY INNOCENCE
BBC One, 9.00pm
This glossy three-part
Agatha Christie
adaptation was due to be
the centrepiece of the
BBC’s Christmas
schedules but had to be
pulled (and replaced with
an adaptation of Jessie
Burton’s novel The
Miniaturist) when sexual
assault allegations were
made against one of its
stars, Ed Westwick –
which he denies.
Producers decided to
reshoot parts of the
series, with replacement
actor Christian Cook
spending 12 days filming
35 scenes as Westwick’s
role of Mickey Argyll. The
three-part series is now
on track to be a highlight
of the Easter line-up.
Sarah Phelps (whose
previous adaptations
include And Then There
Were None and The
Witness for the
Prosecution) has
reworked Christie’s 1958
novel, which is one of the
mystery queen’s lesserknown works, but says
that she’s taken a risk by
changing the ending.
Otherwise it’s the usual
English country house
puzzler featuring a starry
cast, with Bill Nighy, Anna
Chancellor, Matthew
Goode and Eleanor
Tomlinson among them.
There is, of course, a
twisted tale of murder, an
innocent man accused,
and another’s attempt to
rebalance the scales of
justice. It takes a while to
get up to speed, but once
it gets a grip it’s hard to
resist. Gerard O’Donovan
THE BIG PAINTING
CHALLENGE
BBC One, 6.00pm
Mariella Frostrup and
Rev Richard Coles return
with the art competition
that invites talented
amateurs to enrol in a
six-week boot camp run
by mentors Diana Ali and
Pascal Anson. Every week
there are fresh skills to
tackle – first up, a still life
in a Glasgow distillery.
CHANGE YOUR TUNE
ITV, 7.00pm
A new variation on the
singing contest, featuring
not the best but the
worst voices in Britain –
challenged to improve
enough to win a £10,000
prize. Will there be
sob stories and
supposedly miraculous
transformations? We’d
be silly not to think so.
THE GENERATION GAME
BBC One, 8.00pm
Mel Giedroyc and Sue
Perkins take on a fresh
post-Bake Off task:
injecting new life into
the conveyor belt game
The Generation Game: Sue
Perkins and Mel Giedroyc
show that kept Larry
Grayson, Bruce Forsyth
and Jim Davidson in
regular Saturday-night
employment from
the Seventies into the
early Noughties. Will
they do well?
CONSPIRACY
FILES: MURDER IN
WASHINGTON
BBC Two
ITV
6.00
7.30
9.25
9.30
Channel 4
am CITV
Scrambled!
News (S)
Love Your Garden (AD)
(R) (S)
Countrywise (R) (S)
The Voice UK (R) (S)
Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway (R) (S)
pm News (S)
FILM Willy Wonka and
the Chocolate Factory
(1971) Musical with Gene
Wilder (AD) (S)
Catchphrase (R) (S)
News (S)
Regional News (S)
Tipping Point (R) (S)
The Chase: Celebrity
Special (R) (S)
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
7.25 Match of the Day (R) (S)
9.00 Painting the Holy Land
(AD) (S)
10.00 Easter Day From
Sheffield Cathedral (S)
11.00 Urbi et Orbi (S)
11.25 FILM The Silent Child
(2017) (AD) (S)
11.45 Bargain Hunt (AD) (R)
(S)
12.25 pm News; Weather (S)
12.40 FILM Shaun the Sheep
Movie (2015) USee
Films of the week, p32
(S)
2.00 MasterChef (AD) (R) (S)
4.30 Escape to the Country
(AD) (R) (S)
5.00 Songs of Praise (S)
5.35 News (S)
5.50 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S)
6.00 The Big Painting
Challenge See What to
watch (S)
6.20 am Coast (AD) (R) (S)
6.50 Glorious Gardens from
Above (R) (S)
7.35 Life in a Cottage Garden
with Carol Klein (R) (S)
8.05 Gardeners’ World (R) (S)
8.35 Countryfile (R) (S)
9.30 Saturday Kitchen Best
Bites (S)
11.00 Spring Kitchen with
Tom Kerridge (R) (S)
11.45 Lorraine Pascale: How
to Be a Better Cook (AD)
(R) (S)
12.15 pm MOTD2 Extra (S)
1.00 Coast (R) (S)
1.15 Pilgrimage: The Road to
Santiago (AD) (R) (S)
2.15 Canterbury Cathedral
(AD) (R) (S)
3.15 RAF at 100 with Ewan
and Colin McGregor
(AD) (R) (S)
4.45 FILM War Horse (2011)
Drama starring Jeremy
Irvine (AD) (S)
7.00 Countryfile Matt Baker,
Anita Rani and Joe
Crowley explore West
Yorkshire (S)
7.00 Down the Mighty River
with Steve Backshall
Part two of two. The
naturalist travels down
the Baliem River’s lower
gorge (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 Change Your Tune New
series. Baz Ashmawy
hosts the musical
challenge See What to
watch (AD) (S)
7.00 Homes by the Med
Charlie Luxton visits the
Spanish island of
Mallorca (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 The Generation Game
Mel Giedroyc and Sue
Perkins host a revival of
the game show See
What to watch (S)
8.00 Top Gear The team test
drives the latest SUVs.
Last in the series (S)
8.00 The Durrells Larry
and Louisa return to
England (AD) (S)
8.00 Escape to the Chateau
Dick and Angel prepare
for winter. Last in the
series (AD) (S)
9.00 Ordeal by Innocence
New series. Three-part
adaptation of Agatha
Christie’s novel See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Conspiracy Files:
Murder in Washington
The murder of a political
campaigner during the
2016 US presidential
campaign See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 The Good Karma
Hospital Gabriel and
Ruby go on an outreach
programme to a tea
plantation (AD) (S)
9.00 Homeland Carrie makes
a move, Wellington has a
reckoning and Saul
expands an operation
(AD) (S)
10.00 News (S)
10.20 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.30 Match of the Day 2
Highlights of Chelsea v
Tottenham Hotspur and
Arsenal v Stoke City (S)
10.00 Mock the Week With Ed
Gamble, Milton Jones,
Miles Jupp, Nish Kumar
and Felicity Ward (R) (S)
10.35 Top Gear: Extra Gear
The team tries to solve
Tokyo’s transport
problems. Last in the
series (S)
10.00 News (S)
10.15 FILM Sherlock Holmes
(2009) Action thriller
starring Robert Downey
Jr and Jude Law USee
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
11.30 The Women’s Football
Show (S) 12.10 - 6.00am
News (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 10.00 - 10.35pm Hame
UTV: 1.30 - 3.00am Teleshopping
BBC Two, 9.00pm
SCOTLAND
This report examines the
murder of political
campaigner Seth Rich
during the 2016 US
presidential campaign.
Recorded as a robbery
gone wrong, it has since
become linked to the
release of Democratic
Party internal emails to
WikiLeaks. GO
BBC One: 12.40pm Put Your Money
Where Your Mouth Is 1.25 MasterChef
2.25 MasterChef 3.25 MasterChef 4.00
Songs of Praise 4.35 - 5.35 DIY SOS: The
Big Build 11.30 Sportscene 12.30am The
Women’s Football Show 1.05 - 6.00am
BBC News
BBC Two: 4.45pm Grand Tours of
Scotland 5.00 River City 6.00 - 7.00pm
Sportscene
STV: 12.40am Teleshopping 1.40 After
Midnight 3.10 ITV Nightscreen 5.30 6.00am Teleshopping
11.00 FILM Selma (2014) U
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S) 1.00am Sign
Zone (R) (S) (SL) 2.55 6.15am This Is BBC Two
(S)
10.00
10.30
12.00
1.30
1.40
3.45
4.30
4.45
5.00
6.00
12.40 am Marcella (AD) (R) (S)
1.30 Jackpot247 3.00
Take on the Twisters (R)
(S) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 - 6.00am The
Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S) (SL)
WA L E S
ITV REGIONS
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 1.15pm Canterbury Cathedral
2.15 - 3.15 Blitz Wales with John
Humphrys 10.00 Flex Lewis: Superstar
Bodybuilder 10.55 Top Gear: Extra Gear
11.20 FILM: Selma (2014) 1.20 1.55am Coast
ITV Wales: No variations
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.30 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
10.05 FILM The Green Mile
(1999) Supernatural
drama starring Tom
Hanks (AD) (S)
1.25 am The Supervet (AD)
(R) (S) 2.20 Coastal
Walks with My Dog (AD)
(R) (S) 3.15 KOTV Boxing
Weekly (S) 3.40 The
Question Jury (R) (S)
4.35 George Clarke’s
Amazing Spaces (AD) (R)
(S) 5.30 - 6.00am
Streetmate (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
noon Send in the Dogs Australia 2.00pm
Send in the Dogs 5.00 UK Border Force
6.00 Nothing to Declare 7.00 America’s
Next Top Model 8.00 Chicago Fire. After
responding to a car accident, Casey and
Dawson become suspicious of a
domineering husband’s treatment of his
injured wife 9.00 Britain’s Most Evil
Killers 10.00 - 3.00am Criminal Minds
S4C
6.00am Cyw 8.50 Penblwyddi Cyw 8.55
Pen-Blwydd Pwy? 9.00 Dal Ati: Bore Da
10.00 Dal Ati: Help Llaw 11.00 Rownd a
Rownd 11.55 Calon 12.00 Dechrau Canu
Dechrau Canmol 12.30pm Perthyn 1.00
Y Dioddefaint Yn Ôl Ioan 2.55 Cegin Bryn
3.30 Cegin Bryn 4.00 Codi Pac 4.30
Ffermio 5.00 Newyddion 5.10 Pobol y
Cwm 7.00 Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol
8.00 Band Cymru 2018 9.00 Parch
10.00 Y Byd ar Bedwar 10.30 Rhodri
Morgan: Ysbiwr yn y Teulu 11.30 12.05am Ffasiwn Mecanic
6.15 am The King of Queens
(R) (S)
7.30 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (AD) (R) (S)
9.30 Sunday Brunch (S)
12.30 pm Jamie and Jimmy’s
Friday Night Feast (AD)
(R) (S)
1.35 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
3.30 Ice Age: The Great EggScapade (R) (S)
4.00 FILM Dumbo (1941)
Disney animated
adventure with the voice
of Edward Brophy USee
Films of the week, p32
(S)
5.15 The Great Celebrity
Bake Off for Stand Up
to Cancer (AD) (R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
D AV E
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
11.40am Deadly 60 12.40pm Top Gear:
Burma Special 3.20 Top Gear Patagonia
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
10.05 Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles (R) (S)
10.35 Police Interceptors (R)
(S)
11.40 Police Interceptors (R)
(S)
12.40 pm FILM Joe Kidd (1972)
Western starring Clint
Eastwood (S)
2.25 FILM Space Cowboys
(2000) Adventure with
Clint Eastwood (S)
4.55 FILM Stargate (1994)
Sci-fi adventure starring
Kurt Russell (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Northern Ballet’s Casanova:
from Manchester
NORTHERN BALLET’S
CASANOVA
Sky Arts, 6.00pm
7.10 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away The officers try to
recover £13,000 owed by
a high-performance car
dealer (R) (S)
Choreographer Kenneth
Tindall’s muchacclaimed first fulllength ballet, to a score
by Christopher Oram,
offers a thoroughly
seductive interpretation
of the story of the
Venetian libertine.
REVOLUTION
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away The agents chase
up a £3,000 deposit
owed by a landlord to his
tenant (R) (S)
8.55 News (S)
9.00 FILM Bruce Almighty
(2003) Comedy starring
Jim Carrey and Morgan
Freeman (S)
Sky One, 6.30pm
Special 6.00 Red Bull Soapbox Race 7.00
Cop Car Workshop 8.00 Motorway Cops
9.00 Have I Got a Bit More News for You
10.00 QI XL 11.00 Live at the Apollo
12.00 - 1.20am Room 101
Expect death-defying
antics aplenty as Sky’s
edgiest new
entertainment show
challenges skaters,
skateboarders and BMX
riders to tackle highspeed races, a nerveshredding obstacle
course, a 19-metre vortex
bowl and the UK’s
highest ramp in a bid to
be crowned champion.
ITV3, 9.00pm
Fans of Seventies TV will
enjoy this look at one
of its biggest stars who
took over The Generation
Game (see p36) in 1978.
Contributions come
from friends and
colleagues, including
game show co-host
Isla St Clair, Michael
Barrymore and Chris
Tarrant. GO
FILM Eragon (2006) Fantasy adventure
starring Ed Speleers 9.00 Marvel’s Agents
of SHIELD 10.00 The Inbetweeners
11.05 The Big Bang Theory 12.00 1.00am Five Star Hotel
D I S C OV E RY
GOLD
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
noon Wheeler Dealers 1.00pm Mysteries
of the Missing 2.00 Yukon Men 6.00
Deadliest Catch 8.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A
Murder Declassified 9.00 Blowing Up
History 10.00 Secrets of the
Underground 11.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s
Trail 12.00 - 1.00am Blowing Up History
11.25am Wallace & Gromit: A Close
Shave 12.05pm Wallace & Gromit: A
Matter of Loaf and Death 12.40 Only
Fools and Horses 5.30 FILM Lemony
Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events
(2004) Three orphans are sent to live
with their uncle, a cunning master of
disguise who is scheming to kill them for
their inheritance. Comedy adventure with
Jim Carrey and Meryl Streep 7.40 Only
Fools and Horses 9.00 FILM Zoolander
(2001) A dim male model’s career starts
to decline and he fails to realise he is a
pawn in a dangerous game of
international espionage. Comedy starring
Ben Stiller 10.45 Only Fools and Horses
11.55 - 1.00am Bridget & Eamon
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
11.55am The Goldbergs 12.25pm FILM
Dragonball Evolution (2009) Fantasy
adventure starring Justin Chatwin 2.00
The Big Bang Theory 5.00 The Goldbergs
5.30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine 6.00 Young
Sheldon 6.30 The Big Bang Theory 6.55
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Only Connect The
Belgophiles take on the
Escapologists (R) (S)
7.30 University Challenge
The quarter-final
matches continue (R) (S)
8.00 Painting the Holy Land
Part one of two. Lachlan
Goudie follows Jesus’s
route to the Crucifixion,
recounting a story of love
and suffering that has
inspired some of the
world’s most remarkable
artworks (R) (S)
9.00 Timewatch: WWI Aces
Falling The story of two
fighter pilots (R) (S)
10.00 The Battle of Britain (R)
(S)
11.30 Operation Jericho (AD)
(R) (S)
12.30 am Dancing in the Blitz:
How World War Two
Made British Ballet (AD)
(R) (S)
1.30 Revolution and
Romance: Musical
Masters of the 19th
Century (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 - 3.30am Timewatch:
WWI Aces Falling (R) (S)
(SL)
37
Film4
Sky One
11.00 am Royal Air Force in
Concert
12.30 pm Spielberg and
Williams: The
Adventure Continues
(S)
1.00 Jesus of Nazareth (S)
3.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 With celebrity
sitters Michael Ball,
Robert Bathurst and
Anita Rani (S)
4.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018
5.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 (S)
6.00 Northern Ballet’s
Casanova A
performance of Kenneth
Tindall’s first full-length
ballet See What to
watch
8.00 The Nineties
9.00 Music Legends We Lost
A celebration of
musicians including
George Michael and
Chuck Berry (S)
10.30 Laurel and Hardy: Their
Lives and Magic (AD) (S)
12.15 - 1.30am Chaplin: The
Birth of the Tramp (AD)
(S)
11.00 am Mr Popper’s
Penguins (2011) Family
comedy starring Jim
Carrey (AD) (S)
1.00 pm The Boxtrolls (2014)
Stop-motion animated
fantasy with the voice
of Isaac Hempstead
Wright (S)
2.50 Evolution (2001) Sci-fi
comedy starring David
Duchovny (S)
4.50 Mirror Mirror (2012) An
exiled princess joins
forces with a band of
dwarfs to wrest back her
father’s kingdom from
her wicked stepmother.
Fantasy starring Lily
Collins (AD) (S)
6.55 Back to the Future Part
II (1989) Sci-fi comedy
sequel starring
Michael J Fox (S)
9.00 Commando (1985)
Action adventure
starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger (S)
10.45 - 1.10am Bad
Lieutenant: Port of Call
New Orleans (2009)
Crime drama starring
Nicolas Cage (S)
12.00 noon MacGyver (R)
1.00 pm Modern Family (R)
1.30 The Bachelor King (R)
(S)
3.00 FILM Jumanji (1995)
Fantasy adventure with
Robin Williams and
Kirsten Dunst (AD) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.30 Revolution New series.
Inline skaters, BMXers
and skateboarders
compete See What to
watch
7.30 The Simpsons Homer
and Marge reveal how
they ended up being
miserable parents (R)
8.00 MacGyver Angus must
help his biggest
competitor
9.00 Hawaii Five-0 A man
accused of killing his
wife threatens to
commit suicide
10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles The
team sets out to rescue
Hetty
11.00 In the Long Run (R)
11.30 In the Long Run (R)
12.00 - 1.00am The Blacklist
(R) (S)
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
9.00 am Coronation Street
(AD) (R) (S) (SL)
12.15 pm The Voice UK (R) (S)
1.55 Britain’s Got Talent: Top
10 Golden Buzzers (S)
2.55 FILM Happy Feet Two
(2011) Animated musical
comedy with the voice of
Elijah Wood. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
4.50 FILM Hop (2011) Partanimated comedy with
James Marsden. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
6.45 FILM Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory
(2005) A penniless boy
wins a once-in-a-lifetime
tour of a magical sweet
company. Tim Burton’s
fantasy, starring Johnny
Depp. Includes FYI Daily
(AD) (S)
9.00 FILM Spectre (2015)
James Bond thriller with
Daniel Craig. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
11.55 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.25 am Family Guy (AD) (R)
(S)
12.55 - 1.20am Family Guy
(AD) (R) (S)
11.10 am FILM Carry On
Cowboy (1966) Comedy
Western starring Sid
James (AD) (S)
1.10 pm FILM Carry On
Behind (1975) Comedy
starring Kenneth
Williams (S)
3.10 FILM Carry On Camping
(1969) Comedy starring
Sid James (AD) (S)
4.55 Midsomer Murders A
country magazine owner
is suspected of murder
(AD) (R) (S)
6.55 Vera A murder at a
remote cottage in
Northumberland reminds
DCI Vera Stanhope of an
unsolved case from
earlier in her career (AD)
(R) (S)
9.00 Larry Grayson: Shut
That Door! Documentary
exploring the
entertainer’s life See
What to watch (S)
11.00 - 1.00am FILM Are You
Being Served? (1977)
Comedy based on the
television series starring
John Inman (S)
11.55 am Pawn Stars (R) (S)
12.20 pm When English
Football Ruled Europe
(R) (S)
1.20 When English Football
Ruled Europe (R) (S)
2.20 Stuck on You: The
Football Sticker Story
(R) (S)
3.25 FILM Police Academy 2:
Their First Assignment
(1985) Comedy sequel
starring Steve
Guttenberg (AD) (S)
5.10 Goodwood Members
Meeting (R) (S)
6.10 The Big Fish Off (R) (S)
7.15 FILM The Scorpion King
(2002) Fantasy action
adventure with Dwayne
Johnson. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
9.00 FILM Jaws (1975) Steven
Spielberg’s thriller with
Roy Scheider. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
11.25 - 2.35am FILM The
Assassination of Jesse
James by the Coward
Robert Ford (2007)
Western starring Brad
Pitt (AD) (S)
12.00 noon Without a Trace
(R) (S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
4.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
5.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
6.00 David Attenborough’s
Galapagos The
broadcaster explores
the Pacific archipelago
(AD) (R) (S)
7.00 David Attenborough’s
Galapagos The
unique species that
live in the isolated
habitat (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 David Attenborough’s
Galapagos The
broadcaster reveals
the differences
between the 19 islands
(AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Save Me (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 The Zen Diaries Of
Garry Shandling
12.50 - 2.00am Billions (R)
H I S T O RY
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
Y E S T E R D AY
8.30 Goals on Sunday 10.00 Premier
League Highlights 11.00 Premier
League Best Goals 11.30 Premier
League Highlights 12.30 - 1.00am
Premier League Legends
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
ITV2
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
LARRY GRAYSON:
SHUT THAT DOOR!
11.05 FILM Just Go with It
(2011) Romantic comedy
starring Adam Sandler
and Jennifer Aniston (AD)
(S) 1.15am SuperCasino
(S) 3.10 Inside
Manchester’s Midland
Hotel (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
The Railways That Built
Britain with Chris Tarrant
(AD) (R) (S) (SL) 4.45
House Doctor (R) (S) (SL)
5.10 Great Artists (R) (S)
(SL) 5.35 - 6.00am
Wildlife SOS (R) (S) (SL)
***
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
11.30am Forged in Fire 5.30pm Robert
Powell on the Real Jesus 8.00 The Curse
of Oak Island 9.00 Ozzy & Jack’s
American Roadtrip 10.00 American
Ripper in London 11.00 WW2 Treasure
Hunters 12.00 - 1.00am Project Nazi
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
11.00am Vet on the Hill 12.05pm Come
Dine with Me 2.45 Four in a Bed 5.20
Come Dine with Me 8.00 The
Dambusters’ Great Escape: Secret History.
The RAF’s defeat of the German
battleship Tirpitz in November 1944 9.00
Guy Martin: Last Flight of the Vulcan
Bomber. The mechanic explores the last
functioning Vulcan bomber 10.40 8 Out
of 10 Cats Does Countdown 11.40 Very
British Problems 12.40am Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA 2.45 - 3.35am
Very British Problems
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Secret Bible 2.00pm Herod’s Lost
Tomb 3.00 Secrets of Christ’s Tomb 4.00
Draining the Bermuda Triangle 5.00 Drain
Alcatraz 6.00 Car SOS 7.00 One Strange
Rock 8.00 Templars: The Last Stand 9.00
Head of John the Baptist 10.00 Secret
Lives of the Apostles 11.00 The Story of
Us with Morgan Freeman 12.00 2.00am Deadly Journey of the Apostles
W
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Pride and Prejudice 6.00pm Who
Do You Think You Are? USA 7.00 Inside
the Ambulance 9.00 Louis Theroux:
America’s Most Dangerous Pets 10.00
999 Rescue Squad. An injured woman is
trapped in a van 11.00 Inside the
Ambulance. The paramedics help a man
injured in a bottle attack 12.00 Gavin &
Stacey 12.40 - 2.30am Doctor Who
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
noon The Blue Planet 7.00pm We Have
Been Watching 8.00 Auf Wiedersehen,
Pet 11.00 - 3.00am Secrets of the Bible
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
6.00am Live Test Cricket 7.30 Total Goals
9.00 Live Test Cricket 12.30pm Live
Nissan Super Sunday 3.30 Live Nissan
Super Sunday 6.00 Live ATP Masters
Tennis 8.00 Live PGA Tour Golf 11.00 6.00am Live Test Cricket
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
11.00am Goals on Sunday 12.30pm Live
Nissan Super Sunday 3.30 Live Nissan
Super Sunday 7.00 PL Best Goals 13/14
8.00 Best PL Goals: Merseyside Derby
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
BT SPORT 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
6.00am Scottish Football Extra 6.30
Scottish Professional Football League
7.30 Vanarama National League
Highlights 8.00 Live Hyundai A-League
10.00 Premier League 11.30 Premier
League Tonight 12.30pm Live
Bundesliga 2 2.30 Live Bundesliga
4.30 Vanarama National League
Highlights 5.00 Live Bundesliga 7.00
BT Sport Reload 7.15 Uefa Champions
League Magazine 7.45 Live Ligue 1
10.00 Uefa Europa League Magazine
10.30 The Football Archives 11.00 The
Football Archives 11.30 The Football
Archives 12.00 The Football Archives
12.30am WTA Tennis 2.30 30 for 30
4.00 - 6.00am AFL
38
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION EASTER MONDAY
WHAT TO
WATCH
A comedy great: Aidan Gillen as Dave Allen
DAVE ALLEN AT PEACE
BBC Two, 9.00pm
When I was growing up
in a London Irish family
in the Seventies and
Eighties, watching the
late Irish comedian Dave
Allen’s BBC show Dave
Allen at Large was the
glue that bound our
family. The programme
was stuffed full of jokes
about God and the
Catholic church and
whimsical stories about
just how he lost that
finger. This affectionate
film, written by Stephen
Russell and starring
Aidan Gillen as Allen,
addresses the lost finger
early on – a childhood
accident – before
cantering through the
comedian’s life, from his
childhood bond with his
kindly father (Tommy
Tiernan) through his
early career as a stand-up
to success on TV and
beyond.
The film’s real interest
lies, however, in Allen’s
complex relationship with
his older brother John
(Conleth Hill), who later
died of alcoholism. “I’ll
always be the funniest
man in the pub but you’re
a comedian,” John
ruefully notes. Gillen
plays Allen’s mannerisms
and gentle way of
skewering the pompous
perfectly and, while
Russell’s script glosses
over some of the
complexities of his life, it
catches the essence of the
man. It’s followed by a
repeat of The Unique
Dave Allen, in which he
talks about his heroes.
Sarah Hughes
TRAVEL MAN: 48 HOURS
IN BRUSSELS
Channel 4, 8.30pm
Richard Ayoade returns
for a new series of his
quick-fire travel show.
Tonight’s guest is
comedian Lee Mack
and the venue Brussels.
Cue Brexit jokes,
Tintin references
and the best deployment
of a David Hasselhoff
gag this side of the old
Berlin Wall.
LENNY HENRY: THE
COMMONWEALTH KID
BBC One, 9.00pm;
Scot, 10.30pm
Lenny Henry heads to
Jamaica and the
Caribbean for this
interesting, occasionally
hard-hitting and very
personal look at what the
Commonwealth really
means to people – and
the legacy left by
colonisation.
THE ISLAND WITH
BEAR GRYLLS
Channel 4, 9.00pm
The fifth series of The
Island has a rich vs poor
Lenny Henry: The
Commonwealth Kid
theme. Unsurprisingly,
it’s contentious from the
start, with fights over
shelters, work ethic and
which team is more
selfish.
KISS ME FIRST
Channel 4, 10.00pm
Skins co-creator Bryan
Elsley’s adaptation of
Lottie Moggach’s novel is
both innovative and
intriguing. Tallulah
Haddon stars as the
awkward Leila, slowly
drawn into a hidden
corner of the virtual
reality game that she
obsessively plays. That
brief summary doesn’t
capture what unfolds,
however: a clever tale of
lies and obsession. SH
BBC One
BBC Two
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming
(R) (S)
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(S)
1.00 BBC News at One (S)
1.15 Regional News (S)
1.25 Father Brown (AD) (R)
(S)
2.10 Garden Rescue (AD) (R)
(S)
2.55 Escape to the Country
New series (AD) (S)
3.40 Money for Nothing (S)
4.25 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.20 Regional News (S)
6.30 Celebrity Mastermind
(R) (S)
6.15 am The Repair Shop (R)
(S)
6.45 Money for Nothing (R)
(S)
7.30 Nature’s Weirdest
Events (AD) (R) (S)
8.30 FILM Gnomeo & Juliet
(2011) (AD) (S)
9.45 FILM Rise of the
Guardians (2012) (AD)
(S)
11.15 The Super League Show
(S)
12.00 FILM Funny Lady (1975)
(S)
2.15 pm Trust Me, I’m a Vet
(R) (S)
3.15 Indian Ocean with
Simon Reeve (AD) (R) (S)
4.15 Patagonia: Earth’s
Secret Paradise (AD) (R)
(S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 The Repair Shop (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show
Presented by Matt Baker
and Alex Jones (S)
7.30 MasterChef The semifinals continue (AD) (S)
7.00 Top Gear The team test
drives the latest SUVs.
Last in the series (R) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Brenda
struggles to contain her
emotions (AD) (S)
7.30 Coronation Street
Bethany is shattered by
Craig’s announcement
(AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
7.30 The Million Pound
Holiday Club Four
celebrities review
exclusive holidays and
experiences (AD) (S)
8.00 EastEnders Bernadette
offers to help Ted (AD)
(S)
8.30 Classic Mary Berry
Recipes that have moved
in and out of fashion.
Last in the series (AD) (S)
8.00 Only Connect (S)
8.30 University Challenge
The quarter-final
matches conclude (S)
8.00 The Kyle Files (AD) (S)
8.30 Coronation Street
Shona has a word with
David about their poor
love life (AD) (S)
8.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours in
Brussels New series.
Richard Ayoade is joined
by Lee Mack for a short
break in the Belgian
capital See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Lenny Henry: The
Commonwealth Kid The
actor examines the
relationship between the
UK and the
Commonwealth See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Dave Allen at Peace
Drama based on the
comedian’s life starring
Aidan Gillen See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Marcella The truth
behind Nigel’s false
allegations leads to
tragedy for the team
(AD) (S)
9.00 The Island with Bear
Grylls New series. Two
groups are marooned at
opposite ends of an
uninhabited island in the
Pacific See What to
watch (AD) (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.20 The Real Full Monty:
Live (R) (S)
10.00 Kiss Me First New series.
Fantasy thriller starring
Tallulah Haddon See
What to watch (AD) (S)
11.05 Greg Davies: The Back of
My Mum’s Head (R) (S)
12.05am Lee and Dean
(AD) (R) (S) 12.35 How to
Get a Council House (AD)
(R) (S) 1.30 Britain’s
Favourite Food (AD) (R)
(S) 2.25 Coastal Walks
with My Dog (AD) (R) (S)
3.20 George Clarke’s
Amazing Spaces (AD) (R)
(S) 4.15 Building the
Dream (AD) (R) (S) 5.35 6.00am Streetmate (R)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.20 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.30 Michael McIntyre:
Happy & Glorious A
performance from the
comedian’s 2015 tour of
the UK and Ireland (R) (S)
11.30 Live at the Apollo (R) (S)
12.20 - 6.00am News (S)
Variations
10.00 Dave Allen: God’s Own
Comedian A look at the
life, career and legacy of
the Irish writer and
performer (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 FILM Z for Zachariah
(2015) Freeview
Premiere. Sci-fi drama
starring Margot Robbie
(S) 12.30am Conspiracy
Files: Murder in
Washington (AD) (R) (S)
1.30 Sign Zone (AD) (R)
(S) (SL) 3.30 - 6.00am
This Is BBC Two (S)
Midnight 2.45 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
N IRELAND
WA L E S
BBC One: 10.30pm Keepin ’er Country
11.00 The Arts Show 11.30 Michael
McIntyre: Happy & Glorious 12.30am
Live at the Apollo 1.15 - 6.00am BBC
News
BBC Two: No variations
UTV: 1.05am Teleshopping 2.35 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
ITV Wales: No variations
SCOTLAND
BBC One: 9.00 - 10.00pm Long Night at
Blackstone 10.30 Lenny Henry: The
Commonwealth Kid 11.30 Michael
McIntyre: Happy & Glorious 12.30am
Live at the Apollo 1.20 - 6.00am BBC
News
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 11.50pm You’ve Been Framed!
12.15am Teleshopping 1.15 After
ITV
6.00 am CITV
9.25 FILM Dragonheart
(1996) Fantasy adventure
starring Dennis Quaid
(AD) (S)
11.25 FILM Free Willy (1993)
Family drama starring
Jason James Richter (AD)
(S)
1.40 pm ITV Lunchtime News
(S)
1.50 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Paul O’Grady: For the
Love of Dogs (R) (S)
6.30 Regional News (S)
6.45 ITV Evening News (S)
11.50 The Durrells (AD) (R) (S)
12.40am The Kyle Files
(AD) (R) (S) 1.05
Jackpot247 3.00 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (R) (S)
(SL) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 - 6.00am The
Jeremy Kyle Show (R) (S)
(SL)
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.05 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
Channel 4
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 The Big Bang Theory
(AD) (R) (S)
8.55 FILM The House of
Magic (2013) (S)
10.35 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
12.00 FILM The Jewel of the
Nile (1985) Comedy
adventure sequel starring
Michael Douglas and
Kathleen Turner (S)
2.10 pm Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun
(R) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
S4C
noon Nothing to Declare UK 6.00pm
Nothing to Declare 8.00 Elementary 9.00
Criminal Minds. BAU investigates when
someone is kidnapping and
photographing young women 10.00
Blindspot 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00 1.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Teithiau Tramor Iolo 12.30 Ar Werth
1.00 Celwydd Noeth 1.30 Codi Hwyl 2.00
Newyddion 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00
Newyddion 3.05 Pengelli 3.30 Dros
Gymru 3.45 Rygbi 6.00 Newyddion 6.05
Gwaith/Cartref 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y
Cwm 8.25 Yr Anialwch 9.30 Ffermio
10.00 Bugeiliaid Olaf Ewrop 11.00 11.35pm Mike Phillips a’r Senghenydd
Sirens
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
11.40am Red Bull Soapbox Race 2017:
London 2.40pm Top Gear Bolivia Special
4.20 Top Gear 6.00 Red Bull Soapbox
Race 7.00 QI XL 8.00 Cop Car Workshop
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (R) (S)
12.05 pm News (S)
12.10 Home and Away (AD) (S)
12.40 Neighbours (AD) (S)
1.10 FILM Seven Brides for
Seven Brothers (1954)
Musical Western starring
Howard Keel USee
Films of the week, p32
(S)
3.10 FILM Oliver! (1968)
Musical starring Ron
Moody (S)
6.00 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.30 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.55 News (S)
7.00 The Yorkshire Vet
Casebook Highlights of a
hectic lambing season
(R) (S)
8.00 Police Interceptors A
20-strong team raids
two houses linked to a
suspected drug dealer.
Last in the series (S)
9.00 Paddington Station
24/7 Mysterious
containers are found
shortly after the
Salisbury nerve agent
crisis (S)
10.00 Police UK: Armed and
Deadly (S)
11.05 Criminals: Caught on
Camera (R) (S) 11.30
Football on 5: The
Championship (S)
12.30am Football on 5:
Goal Rush (S) 1.00
SuperCasino (S) 3.10
Inside Manchester’s
Midland Hotel (AD) (R)
(S) 4.00 The Railways
That Built Britain with
Chris Tarrant (R) (S) (SL)
4.45 House Doctor (R)
(S) (SL) 5.10 Great Artists
(R) (SL) 5.35 - 6.00am
Wildlife SOS (R) (S) (SL)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Westworld: The Story So Far
– Evan Rachel Wood
THIS COUNTRY
BBC Three, from 10.00am
Saving the best until last,
This Country ends with a
gut-puncher of a final
episode. We all know
that Kerry’s (Daisy
Cooper) weak spot is her
horrible father Martin
(played by Cooper’s
actual father, Paul), and
tonight makes it
abundantly clear how
destructive this could be
when Kerry gets
involved in one of
Martin’s dodgy deals.
Everything unravels
pretty swiftly, to the
horror of Kurtan (Charlie
Cooper), who is both
worried for Kerry and
terrified he’ll lose his
new job at the Bowling
Club. The final moments
provide a small
masterclass in making
an audience
simultaneously laugh
and cry. Superb.
WESTWORLD: THE
STORY SO FAR
Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm
The highly anticipated
second series of
Jonathan Nolan and Lisa
Joy’s sci-fi returns on
April 23 to Sky Atlantic,
which helpfully provides
this quick catch-up to
the events of last season
before interviewing the
cast about what to
expect next. SH
9.00 Live at the Apollo 10.00 Dara O
Briain’s Go 8 Bit 11.00 Taskmaster 12.00
- 1.20am QI
10.00 Don’t Tell the Bride Ireland 11.05
The Big Bang Theory 12.00 - 1.05am
First Dates
D I S C OV E RY
GOLD
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
noon Garage Rehab 4.00pm Fast N’ Loud
10.00 Shifting Gears with Aaron Kaufman
11.00 Street Outlaws 12.00 - 1.00am
Fast N’ Loud
11.05am Only Fools and Horses 1.20pm
The Good Life 2.35 Are You Being
Served? 3.20 Dad’s Army 5.30 The Good
Life 6.45 Are You Being Served? 7.25
Dad’s Army 10.10 The Royle Family
Special: The Golden Egg Cup 11.30 The
Royle Family 12.50 - 2.05am Come Fly
with Me
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 FILM Step Up 4: Miami
Heat (2012) 4.00 The Big Bang Theory of
Everything 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Ice Age:
The Great Egg-Scapade 8.00 The Big
Bang Theory 8.30 Young Sheldon 9.00
Made in Chelsea. Louise and Ryan
celebrate their anniversary, but a visit
from Alik’s father rains on their parade,
while Miles spreads rumours that could
destroy Olivia and Digby’s relationship
H I S T O RY
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
noon Project Impossible 1.00pm Pawn
Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
9.00 James Nesbitt: Disasters That
Changed Britain 10.00 Project Impossible
***
39
BBC Four
Sky Arts
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
Film4
Sky One
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
Exploring ecosystems
around the world,
beginning with the
Galapagos Islands (R) (S)
8.00 Painting the Holy Land
Lachlan Goudie explores
the role of Mary in the
Bible (R) (S)
9.00 Battlefield Britain
Revisiting the Battle of
Britain (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Bomber Boys
Actor Ewan McGregor
and his brother Colin
investigate RAF
Bomber Command (AD)
(R) (S)
11.30 The Lancaster: Britain’s
Flying Past (AD) (R) (S)
12.30 am Top of the Pops:
1983 (R) (S)
1.00 Top of the Pops: 1983
(R) (S)
1.35 Battlefield Britain (AD)
(R) (S)
2.35 - 3.35am The Ruth Ellis
Files: A Very British
Crime Story (R) (S) (SL)
11.30 am Edinburgh Tattoo:
Pipes and Drums (S)
1.00 pm Jesus of Nazareth
3.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 The three
remaining artists
compete in the final (S)
4.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018: The Winner’s
Story Following the
winner as they paint a
portrait of Kim Cattrall.
Last in the series (S)
5.00 Bee Gees: In Our Own
Time Robin and Barry
Gibb discuss the band’s
career
6.15 Michael Ball: Both Sides
Now A concert by the
West End star (S)
9.00 Andre Rieu: Falling in
Love: Live in Maastricht
2016 The Dutch violinist
performs in the square of
his home town with the
concert featuring
romantic favourites such
as My Heart Will Go On,
Memory and Somewhere
Over the Rainbow
12.00 - 1.00am Portrait Artist
of the Year 2018: The
Winner’s Story (S)
11.00 am Hotel for Dogs
(2009) Comedy (S)
1.05 pm My Neighbour
Totoro (1988) Animated
fantasy (S)
2.55 Ice Age: The Meltdown
(2006) Animated
adventure sequel with
the voice of Ray Romano
(S)
4.40 Paddington (2014)
Family comedy starring
Hugh Bonneville USee
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
6.30 Back to the Future Part
III (1990) Sci-fi comedy
sequel starring Michael J
Fox (S)
8.50 Free Fire Interview
Special (R) (S)
9.00 Free Fire (2016) Freeview
Premiere. Comedy crime
drama starring Cillian
Murphy (S)
10.50 Sin City: A Dame to Kill
For (2014) Crime thriller
sequel starring Eva Green
(S)
12.55 - 3.15am Yakuza
Apocalypse (2015)
Comedy horror starring
Hayato Ichihara (S)
11.30 am FILM Jumanji
(1995) Fantasy
adventure starring
Robin Williams (AD) (S)
1.30 pm David
Attenborough’s
Natural History
Museum Alive (R)
3.00 Football’s Funniest
Moments (R)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 Supergirl Kara teams
up with Saturn Girl,
Livewire and Psi (S)
9.00 FILM Star Trek (2009)
The first mission of the
starship Enterprise
leads the crew into a
battle with a vengeful
Romulan commander
from the future. Sci-fi
adventure with Chris
Pine (S)
11.25 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.25 - 1.25am Air
Ambulance ER (AD) (R)
(S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.15 am FILM Nanny McPhee
and the Big Bang (2010)
Fantasy comedy (AD) (S)
12.25 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.30 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
2.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.15 FILM The Smurfs (2011)
Fantasy comedy starring
Neil Patrick Harris (AD)
(S)
6.20 FILM The Amazing
Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Superhero adventure
sequel starring Andrew
Garfield. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
9.00 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
9.30 American Dad! (AD) (S)
10.00 Action Team (S)
10.35 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.05 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.35 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.00 American Dad! (AD) (R)
(S)
12.30 - 1.00am Plebs (R) (S)
10.45 am FILM Carry On Dick
(1974) Comedy starring
Sid James (S)
12.30 pm FILM Carry On at
Your Convenience (1971)
Comedy starring Sid
James (AD) (S)
2.15 FILM Carry On Henry
(1971) Comedy starring
Sid James (AD) (S)
4.00 FILM Rising Damp
(1980) Comedy based on
the 1970s sitcom starring
Leonard Rossiter
6.00 Rising Damp Forever
Part one of two.
Documentary about the
classic sitcom (R) (S)
7.00 Rising Damp Forever
Part two of two. The
crew of the sitcom are
reunited (R) (S)
8.00 Lewis A professor is
killed on Halloween (AD)
(R) (S)
10.00 DCI Banks (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 DCI Banks Part two of
two. Morton uncovers
new leads pointing to
Ellie’s ex Tyler (AD) (R) (S)
12.05 - 1.05am Scott & Bailey
(AD) (R) (S) (SL)
10.20 am Hornblower (R) (S)
12.30 pm FILM Aces High
(1976) First World War
drama starring Malcolm
McDowell. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
2.45 FILM Dunkirk (1958, b/w)
Second World War
adventure starring John
Mills. Includes FYI Daily
(AD) (S)
5.30 FILM Diamonds Are
Forever (1971) James
Bond spy adventure
starring Sean Connery.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
7.55 Mr Bean (AD) (R)
8.25 Mr Bean The buffoon
meets royalty (AD) (R)
9.00 An Audience with Billy
Connolly The comedian
entertains a celebrity
crowd (R) (S)
10.05 FILM First Blood (1982)
Action thriller starring
Sylvester Stallone.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
12.10 - 1.35am Joey: The Man
Who Conquered the TT
(R) (S)
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 FILM The Fall: Decker
vs Budd (2016)
Documentary exploring
Zola Budd and Mary
Decker’s race at the
1984 Olympics (AD) (R)
4.00 Attenborough at 90:
Behind the Lens (AD)
(R) (S)
5.00 House (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation The
team catches a man
burying a body (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
9.00 Westworld: The Story
So Far See What to
watch
10.00 Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver
10.35 Our Cartoon President
(R)
11.10 Crashing (R)
11.45 Divorce (R)
12.20 - 1.30am Here and
Now (R) (S)
11.00 Monsterquest 12.00 - 2.00am
Frontiersmen from Leonardo DiCaprio
Revealed 8.00 Thames Treasure Hunters
9.00 Saxon Gold: Finding the Hoard
10.00 Saxon Gold: New Secrets Revealed
11.00 The Story of Us with Morgan
Freeman 12.00 - 1.00am Lost Tomb of
Genghis Khan
Timewatch: QE2: The Final Voyage 7.00
Who Do You Think You Are? 8.00
Forbidden History 9.00 Goodnight
Sweetheart 11.00 - 1.00am One Foot in
the Grave
AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Premier League
100 Club 6.00 Premier League
Highlights 11.30 Soccer AM: The Best
Bits 12.00 - 1.00am PL Best Goals
12/13
W
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
noon Pride and Prejudice 5.00pm
Tipping Point 7.00 My Dream Home 8.00
Inside the Ambulance 9.00 One Born
Every Minute. At Liverpool Women’s
Hospital, cameras follow three very
different men, including a soldier called
Jack, as they prepare for fatherhood
10.00 Babies: Special Delivery 11.00
Gavin & Stacey 12.20 - 1.15am Inside
the Ambulance
9.00am Live Test Cricket 12.30pm Live
EFL 3.00 Live Betfred Super League 5.00
Live Masters: On the Range 5.30 Live EFL
7.30 Live EFL. Sheffield United v Cardiff
City (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the
Championship clash at Bramall Lane
10.00 Sky Sports News at Ten 10.15
SPFL Round-up 10.30 Cricket Debate
11.00 - 6.00am Live Test Cricket
ITV2
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s
Love It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of
the Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Car SOS
10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
11.00 24 Hours in A&E 12.05am
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.00
Car SOS 2.00 24 Hours in A&E 3.05 3.45am 8 Out of 10 Cats
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Drain Alcatraz 1.00pm One Strange
Rock 2.00 Challenger Disaster: Lost Tapes
3.00 Area 51: I Was There 4.00 Area 51:
The CIA’s Secret Files 5.00 Roman
Murder Mystery 6.00 China’s Megatomb
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
Y E S T E R D AY
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Deep Wreck Mysteries 5.00pm The
True Story of the Mary Celeste 6.00
11.00am Goals on Sunday 12.30pm
Premier League Highlights 5.00 Soccer
SKY 108
BT SPORT 1
noon Scottish Professional Football
League 1.00pm European Rugby
Champions Cup Highlights 2.00 Sport
in Focus 2.15 Vanarama National
League Highlights 2.45 Live Vanarama
National League 5.15 Uefa Champions
League Magazine 5.45 The WRC
Magazine 6.15 Ladbrokes SPFL
Highlights 6.45 Bundesliga Highlights
Show 7.45 Ligue 1 Highlights.
Highlights from matchday 31 in
France’s top flight, including Lyon v
Toulouse 8.45 Premier League Reload
9.00 Fishing 10.00 World’s Strongest
Man 11.00 Premier League Tonight
11.30 BT Sport Goals Reload 12.00 3.00am Live MLB
40
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION TUESDAY 3 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
Alternative history lesson: Diane Morgan as Philomena Cunk
CUNK ON BRITAIN
BBC Two, 10.00pm; NI, 11.15pm
“Now we’ve got our
country back, what
actually is it, who are we,
and why?” So Philomena
Cunk sets out her stall at
the start of this new
five-part mockumentary
series, in which the
presenter, played with
gormless faux-naif
aplomb by Diane Morgan,
guides us through the
passage of British history.
Cunk’s one-off musings
on Shakespeare and
Christmas were instant
classics, stuffed to the hilt
with laugh-out-loud
moments. Judging by
this series opener, her
latest, more ambitious
venture should be just
as uproarious.
This episode takes us
from the Big Bang up to
the Wars of the Roses
(“sounds like a sitcom
about florists”), tackling
the Stone Age, King
Arthur and William the
Conqueror (“the first
example of an EU national
coming over here to take
British jobs”) along the
way. As ever Cunk’s
idiocy is her greatest
asset, her malapropisms
and misunderstandings
skewering pretension in
withering style. Cunk’s
interviews with the
experts are a highlight,
with eminent historians
and archivists left
baffled in her wake.
She even dumbfounds
a spluttering Robert
Peston, asking his
opinion on “the most
political thing that’s ever
happened in Britain?”.
A gem. Toby Dantzic
COME HOME
BBC One, 9.00pm
Danny Brocklehurst’s
compelling drama about
a family in crisis shifts
focus in this episode. We
see events from Marie’s
(Paula Malcomson)
perspective, as she copes
with the fallout from
her decision to walk
out on her husband
(Christopher Eccleston)
and three children.
HOSPITAL
BBC Two, 9.00pm
The frenetic pace of work
at Nottingham University
Hospital Trust continues
as we visit the cancer
ward. With staff numbers
dwindling, the pressure is
mounting on those who
remain. This is especially
being felt by head and
neck consultant David
Grant, who is due to
operate on 75-year-old
Freda, who is overdue for
her thyroid surgery.
LAST LAUGH IN VEGAS
ITV, 9.00pm
This new series follows
British comedy stalwarts
Come Home: Paula
Malcolmson as Marie
as they head for Las Vegas
give their careers one last
push. There the veteran
celebrities, including
Cannon & Ball, Su Pollard
and Bernie Clifton, live
together and rehearse for
a climactic variety
performance.
EVEREST: WORLD’S
GREATEST MOUNTAIN
Channel 5, 9.00pm
What better way to start
this new series on the
world’s most iconic
mountains than with the
mother of them all? We
learn about the history
of Everest’s origins,
those who live in its
shadow, and the climbers
who’ve attempted to
reach its summit. TD
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming
(R) (S)
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(S)
1.00 BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Moving On (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 Escape to the Continent
(AD) (R) (S)
3.30 Money for Nothing (S)
4.15 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
6.00 am Flog It! Trade
Secrets (R) (S)
6.30 Money for Nothing (R)
7.15 Bargain Hunt (AD) (R)
(S)
8.00 Sign Zone
9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S)
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live (S)
11.30 Westminster in Review
12.00 Golf: Masters 2017
Review (S)
1.00 pm The Super League
Show (S)
1.45 Plan It, Build It (AD) (R)
(S)
2.15 Trust Me, I’m a Vet (R)
(S)
3.15 Indian Ocean with
Simon Reeve (AD) (R) (S)
4.15 Patagonia: Earth’s
Secret Paradise (AD) (R)
(S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 The Repair Shop (R) (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
10.30 This Morning (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (AD) (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) (S)
11.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Summer Sun (R) (S)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun
(R) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show Live chat
and topical reports (S)
7.30 EastEnders Ted’s
daughter Judith arrives
and tries to take control
(AD) (S)
7.00 Attenborough’s Wonder
of Eggs David
Attenborough reveals
the secrets of birds’ eggs
(AD) (R) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Bob and
Laurel tell one lie too
many (AD) (S)
7.30 100 Year Old Driving
School (AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 Holby City Roxanna
questions Gaskell’s
motives when he takes
on a controversial new
case (AD) (S)
8.00 Great Indian Railway
Journeys Michael Portillo
travels from Mysuru to
Chennai (AD) (S)
8.00 Paul O’Grady: For the
Love of Dogs: Best in
Show The best two
episodes from the first
five series are decided
(R) (S)
8.00 The Great Celebrity
Bake Off for Stand Up
to Cancer Alan Carr,
Aisling Bea, Kadeena Cox
and Teri Hatcher
compete. Last in the
series (AD) (S)
9.00 Come Home Marie finds
herself in the depths of
despair See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Hospital Cameras follow
head and neck surgeon
David Grant See What to
watch (S)
9.00 Last Laugh in Vegas
New series. Nine British
showbusiness stars put
on their dream gig in
Nevada See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.15 Seven Year Switch With
their time in Thailand
drawing to a close, the
four couples write letters
explaining what must
change to save their
relationships (AD) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.45 This Country Kurtan
organises a surprise
present for Kerry’s
birthday (AD) (S)
11.15 R Kelly: Sex, Girls &
Videotapes (S) 12.15 6.00am News (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 10.00 - 10.30pm Keepin ’er
Country 11.15 Cunk on Britain 11.45 12.15am Mock the Week
UTV: 12.55am Teleshopping 2.25 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: 8.00 - 9.00pm River City
10.45 Holby City 11.45 This Country
12.15am R Kelly: Sex, Girls & Videotapes
1.15 - 6.00am BBC News
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight 11.05
The Real Full Monty: Ladies’ Night
12.25am Teleshopping 1.25 After
Midnight 2.55 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
10.00 Cunk on Britain New
series. Comedy
documentary starring
Diane Morgan See What
to watch (AD) (S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
11.15 Pilgrimage: The Road to
Santiago (AD) (R) (S)
12.15am Sign Zone (AD)
(R) (S) (SL) 3.30 6.00am This Is BBC Two
(S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 The Real Full Monty:
Ladies’ Night (R) (S)
12.05 am Heathrow: Britain’s
Busiest Airport (R) (S)
12.55 Jackpot247 3.00
Loose Women (R) 3.50
ITV Nightscreen 5.05 6.00am The Jeremy Kyle
Show (R) (S) (SL)
WA L E S
ITV REGIONS
BBC One: 11.45am Bargain Hunt 12.30
- 1.00pm A Week to Sell Your House
10.40 Hayley 11.10 This Country
11.40pm R Kelly: Sex, Girls & Videotapes
12.40 - 6.00am BBC News
BBC Two: 1.45 - 2.15pm Weatherman
Walking: Dylan’s Walks: New Quay and
Laugharne
ITV Wales: No variations
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 12.55 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
11.00am The Biggest Loser: Australia
12.30pm The Real A&E 1.30 Air Rescue
2.00 Customs UK 3.00 Nothing to
Declare 5.00 Border Security USA 5.30
Border Security: Canada’s Front Line 6.00
Air Rescue 7.00 The Real A&E 8.00
Elementary 9.00 Chicago Fire 10.00 How
to Get Away with Murder 11.00 Criminal
Minds 12.00 - 1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Dudley ar Daith 12.30 Rhodri Morgan:
Ysbiwr yn y Teulu 1.30 Only Men Aloud
2.00 Newyddion 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00
Newyddion 3.05 John ac Alun 3.30
Popeth ar Ffilm 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00
Stwnsh 6.00 Newyddion 6.05 04 Wal
6.30 Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Heno 7.30
Pobol y Cwm 8.00 Cefn Gwlad 9.00
Newyddion 9.30 Y Byd ar Bedwar 10.00
Band Cymru 2018 11.00 - 11.35pm
Pobol y Rhondda
10.20 Gogglebox The
households’ opinions on
recent television (R) (S)
11.20 Indian Summer School
(R) (S) 12.20am Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA
(R) (S) 1.10 Britain’s
Favourite Food (AD) (R)
(S) 2.05 The Million
Pound Holiday Club (AD)
(R) (S) 3.00 George
Clarke’s Amazing Spaces
(AD) (R) (S) 3.55 Building
the Dream (AD) (R) (S)
4.50 The Question Jury
(R) (S) 5.45 - 6.00am
Kirstie’s Fill Your House
for Free (R) (S)
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
11.40am American Pickers 12.40pm Top
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff (S)
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.15 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.15 FILM Abducting Zoe
(2014, TVM) Crime drama
starring Sammi Hanratty
(S)
5.00 News (R) (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Bridget & Eamon: Jennifer
Zamparelli and Deirdre Kane
BBC YOUNG MUSICIAN:
FORTY YEARS YOUNG
BBC Four, 8.00pm
7.00 The Yorkshire Vet
Casebook Julian Norton
has problems with a
highland cow (S)
8.00 Secrets of the National
Trust with Alan
Titchmarsh The
presenter visits Castle
Ward, in County Down
(AD) (S)
9.00 Everest: World’s
Greatest Mountain New
series. Cameras explore
the world’s most iconic
mountains, beginning
with Everest See What
to watch (S)
10.00 FILM Sabotage (2014)
Action thriller starring
Arnold Schwarzenegger
(S) 12.10am Police
Interceptors (R) (S) 1.10
SuperCasino 3.10 Inside
Manchester’s Midland
Hotel (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
The Railways That Built
Britain with Chris Tarrant
(R) (S) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (R) (S) (SL) 5.10
Great Artists (R) (S) (SL)
5.35 - 6.00am Wildlife
SOS (R) (S) (SL)
Gear Bolivia Special 2.20 Top Gear 4.00
Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge
5.00 Top Gear 7.00 QI XL 8.00 Scrappers
9.00 Would I Lie to You? 11.00 Live at
the Apollo 12.00 - 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
1.00pm Railroad Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The
Last Frontier 3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold
Rush 5.00 Nazi Death Ray 6.00 Wheeler
Dealers 8.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
10.00 Running Wild with Bear Grylls
11.00 Fast N’ Loud 12.00 - 1.00am Gold
Rush: Parker’s Trail
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 FILM Night at the
“I’ve been known to cry
slightly at the brilliance
of the performance. I
can’t think of another
programme where youth
flourishes quite so
much,” says actor
Richard Wilson,
summing up the impact
the BBC’s awe-inspiring
classical music contest
has had over the last 40
years. This anniversary
programme uses the
burgeoning professional
lives of its 2016 finalists,
including winner cellist
Sheku Kanneh-Mason, as
a springboard to look
back at other stellar
careers the competition
has launched.
BRIDGET & EAMON
Gold, 10.00pm
Depending on your taste,
this comedy about a zany
married Irish couple
(Jennifer Zamparelli and
Bernard O’Shea) is either
a clever satire on life in
the Eighties or a witless
domestic sitcom helmed
by two shouty leads.
Either way, the show’s
been a hit, and is
returning for a third
series. In this feisty double
bill, the pair go into
overdrive when Bridget’s
mother comes over for
Easter Sunday. TD
Museum (2006) USee Films of the
week, p32 10.10 Tattoo Fixers 11.15
The Big Bang Theory 12.10 - 1.15am
First Dates
GOLD
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
noon My Hero 12.40pm As Time Goes By
1.20 Waiting for God 2.00 Only Fools and
Horses 2.40 Porridge 3.20 Open All
Hours 4.00 Last of the Summer Wine
5.20 As Time Goes By 6.00 Dad’s Army
6.40 One Foot in the Grave 7.20 Porridge
8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40 Only Fools and
Horses 9.20 Mrs Brown’s Boys 10.00
Bridget & Eamon See What to watch
11.10 Mrs Brown’s Boys 11.50 Jack Dee
Live at the Apollo 12.50 - 2.05am
Gimme Gimme Gimme
H I S T O RY
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
noon Mega Transports 1.00pm Pawn
Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
***
41
BBC Four
Sky Arts
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
Film4
Sky One
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
The ecosystem of the
African Serengeti (R) (S)
8.00 BBC Young Musician:
Forty Years Young A
look back at this hugely
influential competition
See What to watch (S)
9.00 The Story of the Jews
Simon Schama explores
the history of the Jewish
people (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Why the Industrial
Revolution Happened
Here (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Bullseyes and Beer:
When Darts Hit Britain:
Timeshift (R) (S)
12.00 Francesco’s Italy Top to
Toe (AD) (R) (S)
1.00 am Top of the Pops:
1983 (R) (S)
1.40 Top of the Pops: 1983
(R) (S)
2.10 What Do Artists Do All
Day? (R) (S)
2.40 - 3.40am The Ruth Ellis
Files: A Very British
Crime Story (R) (S) (SL)
12.00 noon Treasures of the
British Library (AD) (S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Albert
Finney (AD) (S)
2.00 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2016 (S)
3.30 Video Killed the Radio
Star
4.00 The Eighties
The impact of Mikhail
Gorbachev’s rise to
power in the Soviet
Union (AD) (S)
5.00 Treasures of the British
Library Benjamin
Zephaniah picks items
from the library’s
collection (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Gene
Hackman (AD) (S)
7.00 When Patsy Cline Was
Crazy (S)
8.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
9.00 The Nineties
10.00 Music Videos That
Defined the ’90s
11.00 Discovering: Peter Lorre
(S)
12.00 - 1.15am Blur/Oasis: The
Britpop Years
11.00 am ParaNorman (2012)
Animated adventure
with the voice of Kodi
Smit-McPhee (S)
12.50 pm Kiki’s Delivery
Service (1989) Animated
fantasy with the voice of
Kirsten Dunst (S)
3.05 Diary of a Wimpy Kid:
Rodrick Rules (2011)
Children’s comedy sequel
starring Zachary Gordon
(AD) (S)
5.10 Johnny English (2003)
Spy comedy starring
Rowan Atkinson (AD) (S)
6.50 Last Holiday (2006) A
woman told she has only
weeks to live resolves to
make the most of the
time left – and her
passion for life proves
infectious. Comedy with
Queen Latifah and
Gerard Depardieu (S)
9.00 The Last Witch Hunter
(2015) Fantasy adventure
starring Vin Diesel (S)
11.05 - 1.10am The Grand
Budapest Hotel (2014)
Wes Anderson’s comedy
drama USee Films of
the week, p32 (AD) (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons Marge
tries to halt a campaign
against children (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 The Flash A bomb
goes off in Central City
9.00 The Blacklist Liz’s
reinstatement at the
FBI hinges on an
evaluation with a
psychotherapist
10.00 The Late Late Show
with James Corden:
Best of the Week
Highlights of the talk
show
11.00 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Air
Ambulance ER (AD) (R)
(S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.10 am FILM The Smurfs 2
(2013) (AD) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.15 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 FILM Bridesmaids (2011)
Comedy USee Films of
the week, p32 (AD) (S)
11.35 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.05 am Family Guy (AD) (R)
(S)
12.35 - 1.05am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.15 am Inspector Morse (R)
(S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street Phyllis feels Emily
is taking advantage of
Percy (R)
3.45 Judge Judy (R) (S)
4.10 FILM Man About the
House (1974) TV comedy
spin-off starring Richard
O’Sullivan (S)
6.00 Heartbeat Merton finds
himself under pressure
(R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote
Jessica’s friend is
accused of murder (AD)
(R) (S)
8.00 Midsomer Murders A
magician’s assistant is
poisoned (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Scott & Bailey (AD) (R)
(S)
11.00 Scott & Bailey (AD) (R)
(S)
12.05 - 2.00am A Touch of
Frost (R) (S)
11.45
12.50
1.55
2.55
3.55
5.00
6.05
6.35
7.05
7.30
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing (R)
4.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
5.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Danny
discovers Frank has a
secret lover (AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Here and Now Ramon
makes waves at a
gaming expo where his
’Realms” creation
attracts attention.
Meanwhile, Duc’s
frustrations begin to
rise to the surface
10.10 Divorce Frances and
Robert try to establish
new ground rules for
the kids
10.45 Crashing (S)
11.20 SMILF (AD) (R) (S)
11.55 SMILF (AD) (R) (S)
12.30 - 1.00am Ready Player
One: Special
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
9.00 Frontiersmen from Leonardo
DiCaprio 11.00 Monsterquest 12.00 1.00am The Curse of Oak Island
Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport 3.00 Air
Crash Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00
Air Crash Investigation 8.00 One Strange
Rock 9.00 Draining the Bermuda Triangle
10.00 Mission Pluto 11.00 Air Crash
Investigation 9/11: The Plane That Hit
the Pentagon 12.00 - 1.00am Strippers:
Cars for Cash
Madagascar 3.00 Coast 4.00 Scotland’s
Murder Mysteries 5.00 World War Weird
6.00 Hitler’s Champions 7.00 Deep
Wreck Mysteries 8.00 Full Steam Ahead
9.00 One Foot in the Grave 11.00 1.00am Porridge
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
ITV2
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
W
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s
Love It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of
the Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 World’s
Weirdest Homes 10.35 24 Hours in A&E
11.45 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
12.45am Obsessive Compulsive Cleaners
1.45 24 Hours in A&E 2.50 - 3.45am 8
Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 Who Do You Think You
Are? USA 10.00 999 Rescue Squad
11.00 Gavin & Stacey 12.00 - 1.15am
Inside the Ambulance
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm To
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
Y E S T E R D AY
noon Time Team 1.00pm Great Barrier
Reef with David Attenborough 2.00
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars (R) (S)
Storage Wars (R) (S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
Pawn Stars A customer
claims to have unseen
footage of President
Roosevelt (R) (S)
8.00 Football’s Foreign
Legion The story of
pioneering foreign
players and their legacy
(R) (S)
9.00 FILM Lethal Weapon
(1987) An unstable
Vietnam veteran cop
teams up with a by-thebook detective to smash
a drug ring linked to a
woman’s apparent
suicide. Action thriller
with Mel Gibson and
Danny Glover (AD) (S)
11.15 - 1.00am FILM Crank
(2006) Action thriller
starring Jason Statham
(AD) (S)
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
9.00am Live Test Cricket. South Africa v
Australia. Coverage of the fifth day of the
fourth and final test match, taking place
at New Wanderers Stadium in
Johannesburg 2.00pm Live Masters: On
the Range. Coverage from the practice
range at the Augusta National 4.00 Sky
Sports News 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 The Masters Countdown 6.30 Sky
Sports News at 6 7.00 Sky Sports Tonight
7.30 Live EFL. Fulham v Leeds United
(Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage of the
Championship clash at Craven Cottage
10.00 The Debate 11.00 - 1.00am Sky
Sports News
SKY 108
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Premier League Highlights
1.00pm Premier League 100 Club 1.30
Premier League Highlights 5.00 Soccer
AM: The Best Bits 5.30 Best Premier
League Own Goals 6.00 Premier
League Highlights 7.00 Premier League
Review 8.00 Fantasy FC: Merse Meets
Joe Cole 9.00 Premier League Review
10.00 The Debate 11.00 Premier
League Review 12.00 - 1.00am PL
Best Goals 13/14
BT SPORT 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
11.15am Hyundai A-League Highlights
12.15pm Premier League Reload
12.30 Vanarama National League 2.00
Premier League Review 3.00 Live WTA
Tennis 11.00 Inside Sailing 11.30
Ladbrokes SPFL Highlights 12.00 2.00am Live WTA Tennis
42
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION WEDNESDAY 4 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Wealth of sporting knowledge: Clare Balding heads the team
COMMONWEALTH GAMES: OPENING CEREMONY 2018
& COMMONWEALTH GAMES LIVE
BBC One, 10.30am & from 12.15am; Wales, 12.40am
The 21st Commonwealth
Games comes from
Australia’s Gold Coast
City and is perhaps the
only major multi-sport
championships where
England (not Great
Britain, of course) stands
a fair chance of topping
the medals table.
Hazel Irvine presents
live coverage of the
opening ceremony from
the Carrara Stadium,
which will feature the
traditional Parade of
Nations, Competitors’
Oath and finale of the
Queen’s Baton Relay.
There are also highlights
on BBC Two at 7.00pm,
if you miss it.
Later on comes the first
of the sporting action,
introduced by J J
Chalmers. In spite of the
inhospitable hour, it
ought to be worth staying
up to see whether Alistair
Brownlee will make it
two titles in a row in the
men’s triathlon. Alistair
will compete alongside
his brother, two-time
world champion, Jonny.
England’s Vicky Holland,
meanwhile, takes part in
the women’s event.
In the swimming pool,
expect Scotland’s Hannah
Miley to be in the mix in
the 400 m individual
medley, while Scotland
and Wales will both
feature in women’s
hockey. Needless to say,
the coverage online and
via the red button will
be comprehensive.
Gabriel Tate
MY DAD, THE PEACE
DEAL AND ME
BBC One, 9.00pm;
Wales, 10.40pm
Patrick Kielty’s father was
murdered by Paramilitary
gunmen in 1988, and yet
the comedian still voted
in favour of the Good
Friday Agreement, which
guaranteed the release
of his father’s killers.
That is the emotive basis
for this documentary, in
which Kielty explores
how deeply Northern
Ireland’s roots of
reconciliation now reach.
THE ASSASSINATION
OF GIANNI VERSACE:
AMERICAN CRIME STORY
BBC Two, 9.00pm
The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: Penélope Cruz
and seductive. In this
episode there is a first for
the show, as an estranged
couple arrive together,
hoping to support each
other in their search for
new partners.
WHY DO MEN EARN
MORE THAN WOMEN?
Channel 5, 10.00pm
Andrew Cunanan (Darren
Criss) overestimates the
limits of his charisma as
an incessant sense of
entitlement puts off his
potential conquests
in Tom Rob Smith’s
superb docudrama.
FIRST DATES
Channel 4, 10.00pm
It’s 10 series old, and yet
First Dates still feels fresh
This timely examination
of the gender pay gap sees
The Apprentice’s Karren
Brady talks to women
whose careers have been
impacted by unequal
pay, sexist attitudes or
a lack of recognition.
She explores whether this
is because of attitudes
towards motherhood or
perceptions of women’s
industriousness. GT
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun
(R) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
10.30 Commonwealth Games:
Opening Ceremony
2018 Hazel Irvine
presents live coverage
See What to watch (S)
1.30 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
2.00 Regional News;
Weather (S)
2.15 Moving On (AD) (R) (S)
3.00 Escape to the Country
(AD) (S)
3.30 Money for Nothing
g (S)
4.15 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
6.00 am Flog It! Trade
Secrets (R) (S)
6.30 Money for Nothing
g (R)
7.15 Bargain Hunt (AD) (R)
(S)
8.00 Sign Zone
9.00 Victoria Derbyshire (S)
11.00 Street Auction (R) (S)
11.45 Claimed and Shamed
(R) (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.15 The Hairy Bikers’
Comfort Food (AD) (R)
(S)
2.00 Trust Me, I’m a Vet (R)
(S)
3.00 Indian Ocean with
Simon Reeve (AD) (R) (S)
4.00 Patagonia: Earth’s
Secret Paradise (AD) (R)
(S)
5.00 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 The Repair Shop (R) (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
10.30 This Morning
g (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
7.00 The One Show Hosted
by Alex Jones and Ore
Oduba (S)
7.00 Commonwealth Games
2018: The Games Today
Highlights of the opening
ceremony at Carrara
Stadium (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Brenda
steals Laurel’s wallet (AD)
(S)
7.30 Coronation Street David
pays a secret visit to a
clinic (AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 MasterCheff The eight
remaining cooks in the
competition head to RAF
Halton in Aylesbury (AD)
(S)
8.00 The Secret Helpers This
time, Alex and Jonny
seek advice from
strangers around the
world (AD) (S)
8.00 Britain’s Brightest
Family (AD) (S)
8.30 Coronation Street David
makes a huge sacrifice to
protect his secret (AD)
(S)
8.00 The Supervet Sports
pundit Lee Dixon brings
his beloved rescue dog
to see Professor Noel
Fitzpatrick. Last in the
series (AD) (S)
9.00 My Dad, the Peace Deal
and Me Patrick Kielty
explores the legacy of
Northern Ireland’s peace
deal See What to watch
(AD) (S)
9.00 The Assassination of
Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
9.50 Live at the Apollo Sarah
Millican hosts (R) (S)
9.00 Benidorm Monty is
concerned about
Sammy’s career relaunch
(AD) (S)
9.00 One Born Every Minute
Couple Sharnee and Dan
await the arrival of their
first child together (AD)
(S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 Uefa Champions League
Highlights Action from
the quarter-final first-leg
matches (S)
10.00 First Dates New series
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
11.05 Gogglebox (AD) (R) (S)
12.05am Live from
Abbey Road Classics (S)
12.35 Seven Year Switch
(AD) (R) (S) 1.30 FILM
Multiplicity (1996) Sci-fi
comedy starring Michael
Keaton (S) 3.30 The
Question Jury (R) (S)
4.25 George Clarke’s
Amazing Spaces (AD) (R)
(S) 5.20 Streetmate (R)
(S) 5.45 - 6.00am
Kirstie’s Fill Your House
for Free (R) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.45 A Question of Sport (S)
11.15 Lenny Henry: The
Commonwealth Kid (AD)
(R) (S) 12.15am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Live coverage of
the men’s and women’s
triathlons on day one
See What to watch (S)
2.30 - 6.00am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Further live
coverage of the opening
day’s programme See
What to watch (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 9.50pm The Priest In the
Jeans 10.25 - 10.30pm The Nature of
Britain Where You Live: Northern Ireland
UTV: 8.00 - 8.30pm Rare Breed: A
Farming Year 11.45 Britain’s Brightest
Family 12.10 - 12.35am Love Your
Garden 1.25 Teleshopping 2.55 - 3.00am
ITV Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight 11.05
Uefa Champions League Highlights
12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After
Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
10.30 Newsnight (S)
11.15 Golf: The Masters
Preview 2018 A look
ahead to this year’s
staging of the Major (S)
11.45 Hospital (R) (S)
12.45am Sign Zone (R)
(S) (SL) 3.20 - 6.00am
News (S)
11.45 Play to the Whistle (R) (S)
12.35am Sunday Night at
the Palladium (R) (S) 1.25
Jackpot247 3.00 Tenable
(R) (S) (SL) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05 6.00am The Jeremy Kyle
Show (R) (S) (SL)
WA L E S
ITV REGIONS
BBC One: 9.00 - 10.00pm Keeping Faith
10.40 My Dad, the Peace Deal and Me
11.40 Lenny Henry: The Commonwealth
Kid 12.40am Commonwealth Games
2018 2.45 - 6.00am Commonwealth
Games 2018
BBC Two: 11.45pm A Question of Sport
12.15 - 1.15am Hospital
ITV
V Wales: No variations
No variations, except:
ITV
V Channel: 1.25 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
SKY LIVING
SKY
Y 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 Customs UK 3.00 Nothing to
Declare 5.00 Border Security: Canada’s
Front Line 6.00 Air Rescue 7.00 The Real
A&E 8.00 Elementary 9.00 Grey’s
Anatomy 10.00 The Good Doctor 11.00
Criminal Minds 12.00 - 1.00am CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Crwydro 12.30 Cefn Gwlad 1.30 Camu
O’r Cysgodion: Louise Weiss 2.00
Newyddion 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00
Newyddion 3.05 Pengelli 3.30 Pobol y
Glannau 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh
6.00 Newyddion 6.05 Her yr Hinsawdd
6.30 Mwy o Sgorio 7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol
y Cwm 8.25 Celwydd Noeth 9.00
Newyddion 9.30 Ar Werth 10.00 Codi
Hwyl 10.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain 11.05 11.40pm 999: Ambiwlans Awyr Cymru
More digital,
satellite
& cable
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY
Y 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.15 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.15 FILM First Class Fear
(2013, TVM) Thriller
starring Lacey Chabert
(S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
7.00 The Yorkshire Vet
Casebook
k Julian Norton
and Peter Wright work
together to try to save a
working sheepdog (S)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors Dr Tom Pelly sees
woman patient suffering
withdrawal symptoms
from tramadol (AD) (S)
9.00 Housing Yorkshire:
Somewhere Called
Home New series.
Documentary following
the work of housing
officers across Yorkshire
(S)
10.00 Why Do Men Earn More
Than Women? See
What to watch (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
The Americans: Keri Russell
as Russian spy Elizabeth
SAVE ME
Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm
Lennie James’s excellent
drama series comes to an
end with an emotional,
gut-punching episode.
Having discovered who
had coerced his
estranged daughter
Jody into leaving home,
Nelly (James) stages a
fraught lock-in at the
Palm Tree pub to finally
get some answers, before
attempting to rescue
her from being sold at
a secretive auction.
THE AMERICANS
ITV4, 10.00pm
The sixth and, sadly,
final series of this
underappreciated US
imports begins with
Russian spy Elizabeth
(Keri Russell) facing a
severe test and her
husband Philip (Matthew
Rhys) entertaining an
unexpected guest.
CONFESSIONS OF
A SUPERHERO
Sky Arts, 10.00pm
11.05 Murder on the Internet
(R) (S) 12.05am When
Kids Kill (S) 1.00
SuperCasino (S) 3.10
Inside Windsor Castle
(AD) (R) (S) 4.00 Cruising
with Jane McDonald (R)
(S) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (R) (S) (SL) 5.10
Great Artists (R) (S) (SL)
5.35 - 6.00am Wildlife
SOS (R) (S) (SL)
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Sin City Motors 9.00
Live at the Apollo 10.00 Room 101
12.00 - 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY
Y 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Nazi Killer Bugs 6.00 Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Tanked 9.00 Street Outlaws 10.00
Moonshiners 11.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s
Trail 12.00 - 1.00am Street Outlaws
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY
Y 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Goldbergs 8.30
The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Timeless. New
series. The sci-fi drama returns 10.00
This 2007 documentary
from Matthew Ogens is
affectionate and as
delightfully eccentric as
its subjects. It follows
four aspiring actors to
capture the growth in
cosplay and gradual shift
of comic books from
fringes to mainstream. GT
Naked Attraction 11.05 The Big Bang
Theory 12.00 - 1.05am First Dates
GOLD
SKY
Y 110 VIRGIN 124
noon My Hero 12.40pm As Time Goes By
1.20 Waiting for God 2.00 Only Fools and
Horses 2.40 Porridge 3.20 Open All
Hours 4.00 Last of the Summer Wine
5.20 As Time Goes By 6.00 Dad’s Army
6.40 One Foot in the Grave 7.20 Porridge
8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40 Only Fools and
Horses 9.20 Citizen Khan 10.40
Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 Jack Dee Live
at the Apollo 12.20am Peep Show 12.55
- 1.35am Gimme Gimme Gimme
H I S T O RY
SKY
Y 529 VIRGIN 270
noon The Curse of Oak Island 1.00pm
Pawn Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
43
Film4
Sky One
12.00 noon Treasures of the
British Library (AD) (S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Gene
Hackman (AD) (S)
2.00 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2016 (S)
3.30 Video Killed the Radio
Star (AD) (S)
4.00 The Eighties
Technological
innovations made during
the decade (AD) (S)
5.00 Treasures of the British
Library Alison Balsom
picks items from the
collection (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Omar
Shariff A profile of the
Egyptian actor (AD) (S)
7.00 The Sixties (AD) (S)
8.00 National Treasures: The
Art of Collecting
9.00 Discovering: Maximilian
Schell
10.00 Confessions of a
Superhero Documentary
film following a group of
aspiring actors See What
to watch
11.50 - 1.20am Music Legends
We Lost (S)
11.00 am Anna and the King
(1999) Period drama
starring Jodie Foster (S)
1.50 pm The Borrowers
(1997) Children’s fantasy
with John Goodman (S)
3.30 Dr Dolittle (1998)
Comedy starring Eddie
Murphy (S)
5.10 Dr Dolittle 2 (2001)
Comedy sequel starring
Eddie Murphy (S)
6.50 Ender’s Game (2013) A
gifted boy is trained to
lead Earth’s military
forces into battle against
the threat of an alien
attack. Sci-fi adventure
starring Asa Butterfield U
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S)
9.00 Die Hard (1988) A New
York cop battles armed
men who have taken
over a Los Angeles
skyscraper where his
wife is working on
Christmas Eve. Action
thriller starring Bruce
Willis (AD) (S)
11.40 - 1.50am American
Reunion (2012) Comedy
sequel (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 DC’s Legends of
Tomorrow Mallus’s
power makes Sara the
unwitting bearer of one
of the totems
9.00 A League of Their Own
With Ian Poulter, Olivia
Wayne and Josh
Widdicombe (AD) (R)
(S)
10.00 Golf’s Funniest
Moments The sport’s
most amusing
moments (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Air
Ambulance ER (AD) (R)
(S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY
Y 116 VIRGIN 107
SKY
Y 121 VIRGIN 122
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
(S)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
The ecosystem of the
Amazon rainforest (R) (S)
8.00 Metalworks!: The
Blacksmith’s Tale An
exploration of the
blacksmith’s craft. Last in
the series (R) (S)
9.00 Make! Craft Britain The
novice crafters are
introduced to the art of
mosaic making. Last in
the series (S)
10.00 Martin Luther King: The
Assassination Tapes
(AD) (R) (S)
10.45 Martin Luther King and
the March on
Washington (AD) (R) (S)
11.45 Carved with Love: The
Genius of British
Woodwork
k (R) (S)
12.45 am Top of the Pops:
1983 (R) (S)
1.25 Top of the Pops: 1983
(R) (S)
1.55 Metalworks!: The
Blacksmith’s Tale (R) (S)
2.55 - 3.55am The Ruth Ellis
Files: A Very British
Crime Story (R) (S) (SL)
FV 15 FS 300 SKY
Y 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY
Y 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY
Y 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY
Y 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.00 am FILM St Trinian’s 2:
The Legend of Fritton’s
Gold (2009) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.40 You’ve Been Framed
Gold Rides Again! (R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (R) (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.55 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
6.00 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (S)
10.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (S)
10.55 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.25 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.55 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.25 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.50 - 1.20am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.15 am Inspector Morse (R)
(S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.45 Judge Judy Real-life
small-claims cases (R)
(S)
4.10 FILM Carry On Up the
Khyber (1968) Comedy
starring Sid James U See
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
6.00 Heartbeat Peter Pyke’s
warehouse goes up in
smoke (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote
Jessica’s author friend is
found dead (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Endeavour The
detective considers his
future (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Law & Order: UK (AD)
(R) (S)
11.00 Law & Order: UK (AD)
(R) (S)
12.05 - 1.10am Unforgotten
(AD) (R) (S) (SL)
11.40
12.50
1.50
2.55
3.55
5.00
6.05
6.35
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
5.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A casino
robbery is linked to a
homicide (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Erin crossexamines Danny in
court (AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Save Me Nelly
confronts a pub regular
about their role in
Jody’s disappearance.
Last in the series See
What to watch (AD)
10.00 The Deported:
Surviving El Salvador
Deportees arrive back
in El Salvador
10.30 SMILF
11.05 SMILF (S)
11.40 Billions (R) (S)
12.50 - 2.00am Here and
Now (R)
9.00 The Curse of Oak Island 10.00
Forged in Fire 11.00 Monsterquest 12.00
- 1.00am Forged in Fire
Air Crash Investigation 8.00 Airport
Security: Peru 9.00 Airport Security:
Colombia 10.00 Border Wars 11.00 Air
Crash Investigation 12.00 - 1.00am
Strippers: Cars for Cash
ITV2
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY
Y 138 VIRGIN 147
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s
Love It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of
the Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Vet on
the Hill 10.00 24 Hours in A&E 11.10 8
Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown
12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
USA 1.10 24 Hours in A&E 2.15 8 Out of
10 Cats Does Countdown 3.15 - 3.55am
8 Out of 10 Cats
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY
Y 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm To
Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport 3.00 Air
Crash Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00
FV 24 FS 117 SKY
Y 120 VIRGIN 118
7.00
7.30
8.00
9.00
10.00
11.00
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Best of
Jarrod and Brandi (R) (S)
Pawn Stars The guys
haggle over a valuable
teddy bear (R) (S)
Pawn Stars The team is
offered photographs of
Jesse James (R) (S)
British Superbike
Championship
Highlights Action from
Donington Park
The Motorbike Show
New series. Henry Cole
tours Majorca on a
classic bike (S)
The Americans New
series. Elizabeth is
pushed to the limit See
What to watch (AD) (S)
- 1.10midnight FILM Red
Heat (1988) Action
thriller starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger and
James Belushi (AD) (S)
Story of the Mary Celeste 8.00 Mars the
Magnificent 9.00 Porridge 11.00 The
Two Ronnies 12.55 - 2.00am Horror in
the East
W
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY
Y 109 VIRGIN 125
SKY
Y 401 VIRGIN 511
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies
10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.00
Gavin & Stacey 12.15 - 1.10am Inside
the Ambulance
noon Sky Sports News 2.00pm Live
Masters: On the Range 4.00 Sky Sports
News 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5 6.00 Sky
Sports News at 6 7.00 Live Masters: Par
Three Tournament. Coverage of the
traditional curtain-raiser to the first Major
of the year, which is held on a par 27
nine-hole course within the grounds of
Augusta National 10.30 Sky Sports News
at Ten 11.00 - 6.00am Sky Sports News
Y E S T E R D AY
FV 19 FS 159 SKY
Y 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Time Team 1.00pm Great Barrier
Reef with David Attenborough 2.00
Madagascar 3.00 Coast 4.00 Scotland’s
Murder Mysteries 5.00 World War Weird
6.00 Hitler’s Champions 7.00 The True
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY
Y 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Premier League Review 1.00pm
Premier League 100 Club 2.00 Premier
SKY
Y 108
League Review 3.00 Premier League
Years 5.00 Premier League Review
6.00 PL Best Goals 07/08 7.00
Premier League World 7.30 PL Greatest
Games 8.00 The Fantasy Football Club:
Merse Meets Carrick 9.00 Premier
League Review 10.00 The Debate
11.00 Premier League World 11.30
Best PL Goals: Manchester Derby 12.00
- 1.00am PL Best Goals 14/15
BT SPORT 1
SKY
Y 413 VIRGIN 531
noon The WRC Magazine 12.30pm BT
Sport Goals Reload 1.00 Premier
League 2.30 Ligue 1 Highlights 3.30
Scottish Professional Football League
4.30 BT Sport Goals Reload 4.45 Game
of the Week 5.15 Live Serie A 7.30
NBA Inside Stuff 8.00 Rugby Tonight
On Tour 8.30 Live MLB. Arizona
Diamondbacks v Los Angeles Dodgers
11.00 UFC Countdown 12.00 Live WTA
Tennis 12.30 - 1.30am Uefa
Champions League
44
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION THURSDAY 5 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Without a trace: Louise Kay, who disappeared in 1988
THE INVESTIGATOR: A BRITISH CRIME STORY
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding
presents further live
coverage of day one with
track cycling and
swimming taking centre
stage in Queensland (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Moving On (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 Escape to the Continent
(AD) (R) (S)
3.30 Money for Nothing
g (S)
4.15 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
ITV, 9.00pm
“I have investigated some
of the UK’s most infamous
crimes but I’ve never
encountered anything as
sinister as this,” says cop
turned investigative
reporter Mark WilliamsThomas of this series in
which he turns his
attention to the
disappearance of
Polegate teenager Louise
Kay in 1988. Which is
quite a claim, coming as it
does from the man who
broke the Jimmy Savile
story, among others. But
when the Kay family
turned to him for help
after three decades of
getting nowhere via the
police, Williams Thomas
says his own investigation
turned up a great deal
more than he was
expecting, including
links to a number of other
missing persons cases
and the possibility that he
might have uncovered
“the undetected crimes of
a serial killer who has got
away with murder for
decades”.
In this first episode,
though, the focus is
firmly on the
circumstances
surrounding the
disappearance of
18-year-old Louise, who
was last seen driving
towards Beachy Head
after a night out
clubbing in Eastbourne,
East Sussex, with her
best friend, and the
fact that her distinctive
gold and white Ford
Fiesta also vanished that
night without trace.
Gerard O’Donovan
THE CRUISE: SAILING
THE CARIBBEAN
ITV, 8.30pm
More seaborne
adventures for the cruise
ship Royal Princess, this
time as she embarks on
an island-hopping tour of
such Caribbean
destinations as Grenada,
the Bahamas and
Antigua. If they can get
into port, that is, as the
ship’s docking winches
appear to have failed.
Ho-hum.
CIVILISATIONS
BBC Two, 9.00pm
David Olusoga takes the
reins for a wide-ranging
edition exploring how in
West Africa, Central
America and Japan, art
left its own distinctive
record of when some
great civilisations of
the 15th and 16th
centuries came into
contact for the first time.
INDIAN SUMMER
SCHOOL
Channel 4, 9.00pm
The five British boys are
now six weeks into their
Unsolved: The Man with No
Alibi – Bronagh Munro
study programme at the
Doon School in
Uttarakhand, but it’s not
easy for them, especially
Jack who finds there is a
high price to pay for
daring to do better than
the others.
UNSOLVED: THE MAN
WITH NO ALIBI
BBC One, 10.45pm;
Wales, 11.15pm
In the concluding part of
this report exploring the
July 2002 murder in
Bournemouth of Korean
student Jong-Ok Shin,
Bronagh Munro examines
the evidence that
convicted Omar Benguit
despite the absence of
forensics linking him to
the crime. GO
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
presents continued live
coverage of day one with
artistic gymnastics, track
cycling and netball all
taking place in
Queensland, Australia (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Street Auction (R) (S)
11.45 Claimed and Shamed
(R) (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 Commonwealth Games
2018: The Games Today
(S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
10.30 This Morning
g (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun
(R) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show Topical
stories from around the
UK (S)
7.30 EastEnders Bernadette
tries to make Judith see
sense (AD) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale (AD) (S)
7.30 Pets: The True Cost:
Tonight The cost of the
UK’s love affair with cats
and dogs (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 MasterCheff The
amateurs serve a threecourse fish lunch (AD) (S)
8.00 Big Cats About the
House An injured
cheetah needs Giles’s
help. Last in the series
(AD) (S)
8.00 Emmerdale Time is
running out for Aaron
(AD) (S)
8.30 The Cruise: Sailing the
Caribbean New series
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
8.00 Location, Location,
Location Kirstie Allsopp
and Phil Spencer search
for two new homes in
Bournemouth (S)
9.00 Not Going Out Lee and
Lucy become addicted to
a television boxset (S)
9.30 Still Game Jack and
Victor try to get their
hands on the last steak
pie (AD) (S)
9.00 Civilisations David
Olusoga shows art was
always on the frontline
when distant cultures
meet See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 The Investigator: A
British Crime Story New
series. Trying to prove
several missing women
were murdered See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Indian Summer School
Ethan struggles to fit in
and Harry gets into a
fight See What to watch
(AD) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.45 Unsolved: The Man with
No Alibi Part two of two.
Investigating the case of
a heroin addict convicted
of murder See What to
watch (AD) (S)
10.00 MOTD: The Premier
League Show Magazine
programme featuring
news and highlights (S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 Uefa Europa League
Highlights Action from
the quarter-final first-leg
matches (S)
11.45 Close Calls: On Camera
(R) (S) 12.15am
Commonwealth Games
2018. Live swimming,
hockey and track cycling
coverage (S) 3.30 6.00am Commonwealth
Games 2018 (S)
11.15 Top Gear (R) (S) 12.20am
Sign Zone (AD) (R) (S)
(SL) 2.55 - 6.00am News
(S)
Variations
3.00 Pets: The True Cost: Tonight 4.35
The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
N IRELAND
WA L E S
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 11.15pm Party Political
Broadcast 11.20 - 12.20am My Dad, the
Peace Deal and Me
UTV: 1.00am Teleshopping 2.30 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
BBC One: 9.30 - 10.00pm Rhod Gilbert’s
Work Experience 10.45 Wales Football:
The Women in Red 11.15 - 12.15am
Unsolved: The Man with No Alibi
BBC Two: 10.00 - 10.30pm Still Game
11.15 MOTD: The Premier League Show
11.45 - 12.50am Top Gear
ITV Wales: No variations
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 10.00 - 10.30pm Limmy’s
Homemade Show 11.15 MOTD: The
Premier League Show 11.45 Top Gear
12.50am Sign Zone: MasterChef 1.20
Sign Zone: Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond
the Lobby 2.20 - 2.50am This Is BBC
Two
STV: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight 11.05
Uefa Europa League Highlights 12.05am
Teleshopping 1.05 After Midnight 2.35 -
11.45 Play to the Whistle (R) (S)
12.35am Pets: The True
Cost: Tonight (R) 1.00
Jackpot247 3.00 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05 6.00am The Jeremy Kyle
Show (R) (S) (SL)
10.15 Codi Pac 10.45 Hansh 11.15 11.50pm Mwy o Sgorio
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.00 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
11.05 First Dates (AD) (R) (S)
12.05am 999: On the
Frontline (R) (S) 1.00 The
Island with Bear Grylls
(AD) (R) (S) (SL) 1.55 The
Supervet (AD) (R) (S)
2.50 George Clarke’s Old
House, New Home (AD)
(R) (S) 3.45 Building the
Dream (AD) (R) (S) 4.40
The Question Jury (R) (S)
5.35 - 6.00am
Streetmate (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY
Y 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 Customs UK 3.00 Nothing to
Declare 5.00 Border Security: Canada’s
Front Line 6.00 Air Rescue 7.00 The Real
A&E 8.00 Elementary 9.00 Madam
Secretary 10.00 Scandal 11.00 Criminal
Minds 12.00 - 1.00am Britain’s Most Evil
Killers
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Straeon y Ffin 12.30 Gig Eden ac Elin
Fflur 1.30 Sion a Siân 2.00 Newyddion
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion 3.05
O Gymru Fach 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00
Stwnsh 6.00 Newyddion 6.05 Ar Werth
6.30 Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Heno 7.30
Pobol y Cwm 8.00 Gwaith/Cartref 9.00
Newyddion 9.30 Zimbabwe, Taid a Fi
10.00 24 Hours in Police
Custody (AD) (R) (S)
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY
Y 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.20 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.20 FILM Concrete
Evidence: A Fixer Upper
Mystery (2017, TVM)
Freeview Premiere.
Light-hearted mystery
drama sequel starring
Jewel Kilcher (S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
7.00 The Yorkshire Vet
Casebook
k Julian Norton
tends to a sick calf (S)
8.00 Bad Tenants, Rogue
Landlords New series.
An eviction lawyer tries
to evict squatters from
an abandoned print
works (S)
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away Gareth and Mitch
are on the trail of £2,500
in unpaid parking tickets
in Cardiff (S)
10.00 Undercover: Nailing the
Fraudsters (S)
11.05 FILM 3 Days to Kill (2014)
Action thriller starring
Kevin Costner (S) 1.15am
SuperCasino 3.10 Secrets
of the National Trust with
Alan Titchmarsh (AD) (R)
(S) 4.00 Cruising with
Jane McDonald (R) (S)
(SL) 4.45 House Doctor
(R) (S) (SL) 5.10 Great
Artists (R) (S) (SL) 5.35 6.00am Wildlife SOS (R)
(S) (SL)
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit
9.00 QI XL 10.00 Not Going Out 11.20
Mock the Week 12.00 - 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY
Y 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Nazis on Drugs 6.00 Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Classic Car Rescue 9.00 Tesla’s
Death Ray: A Murder Declassified 10.00
Street Justice: The Bronx 11.00 Mysteries
of the Missing 12.00 - 1.00am Tesla’s
Death Ray: A Murder Declassified
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY
Y 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Big Bang Theory
WHAT TO
WATCH
Silicon Valley:
Thomas Middleditch
DEEP STATE
Fox, 9.00pm
This eight-part British
spy thriller gets off
to an action packed start,
with Mark Strong
convincing as ex-MI6
spook Max Easton,
unwillingly forced
out of retirement by a
former intelligence
chief in London. It’s not
long before he finds
himself at the heart of a
covert intelligence war
and a conspiracy by
powerful corporations to
foment chaos and
revolution in the
Middle East.
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1985
Music by UB40 with
Chrissie Hynde, Madonna
and Kate Bush (R) (S)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights of the opening
day’s action (S)
9.00 Putin, Russia & the
West Charting Vladimir
Putin’s career in Russian
politics (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Inside Porton Down:
Britain’s Secret
Weapons Research
Facility (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Russia: A Century of
Suspicion: A Timewatch
Guide (R) (S)
12.00 Al Murray’s Great
British Spy Movies (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 am Top of the Pops:
1985 (R) (S)
1.30 Putin, Russia & the
West (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 - 3.30am The Story of
the Jews (AD) (R) (S)
(SL)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY
Y 116 VIRGIN 107
45
Film4
Sky One
12.00 noon Treasures of the
British Library (AD) (S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Omar
Shariff (AD) (S)
2.00 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Video Killed the Radio
Star (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Disco (AD)
5.00 The Sixties (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Telly
Savalas (AD) (S)
7.00 Music Videos That
Defined the ’90s
8.00 The Nineties
9.00 Urban Myths: Bob Dylan
(S)
9.30 Urban Myths: Samuel
Beckett and Andre the
Giant (S)
10.00 Urban Myths:
Muhammad Ali (S)
10.30 Urban Myths: Hitler the
Artist (S)
11.00 Urban Myths: Cary
Grant and Timothy
Leary (S)
11.30 Behold the Monkey (S)
12.00 - 1.00am National
Treasures: The Art of
Collecting
11.00 am The SpongeBob
SquarePants Movie
(2004) (S)
12.45 pm Parental Guidance
(2012) Comedy with Billy
Crystal and Bette Midler
(S)
2.50 Mr Popper’s Penguins
(2011) Family comedy
starring Jim Carrey (AD)
(S)
4.40 Robots (2005) Animated
adventure with the voice
of Ewan McGregor (S)
6.25 Battleship (2012)
American naval vessels
go into battle against an
invading fleet of powerful
alien spaceships. Sci-fi
adventure with Taylor
Kitsch, Liam Neeson and
Alexander Skarsgard (S)
9.00 Pride and Prejudice and
Zombies (2016) Five
sisters in regency
England try to find
suitable husbands while
battling hordes of the
living dead. Comedy
adventure starring Lily
James and Sam Riley (S)
11.10 - 1.20am Conan the
Barbarian (2011) (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons Homer
is sentenced to 10
years in prison (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer
crashes the car but lets
Marge take the blame
(R) (S)
8.00 Arrow Roy Harper
returns to Star City
9.00 SEAL Team A research
ship is hijacked in the
South China Sea
10.00 In the Long Run
Bagpipes helps
Valentine get match fit
10.30 Football’s Funniest
Moments (R) (S)
11.00 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Air
Ambulance ER (AD) (R)
(S)
SKY
Y 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY
Y 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY
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FV 6 FS 113 SKY
Y 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY
Y 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.20 am FILM Nanny McPhee
(2005) U See Films of
the week, p32 (AD) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (R) (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.55 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
6.00 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Celebrity Juice (S)
10.50 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.50 American Dad! (AD) (R)
(S)
12.15 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.40 - 1.10am Two and a Half
Men (R) (S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse (R)
(S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street Don and Ivy tie
the knot (R)
3.45 Judge Judy Real-life
small-claims cases (R)
(S)
4.15 FILM Carry On Camping
(1969) Comedy starring
Sid James (AD) (S)
6.00 Heartbeat Vernon’s pal
David is kidnapped and
held to ransom (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote
Jessica takes a teaching
position in New York
(AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Vera The key to a
murder lies deep in the
memory of the victim’s
son (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 The Suspicions of Mr
Whicher Period drama
(AD) (R) (S)
12.05 - 1.10am DCI Banks (AD)
(R) (S)
11.40
12.50
1.50
2.55
3.55
5.00
6.05
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
5.00 House (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods A firearms
amnesty causes
problems (AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Billions Chuck tries to
cash in a favour owed
to him by an
honourable judge
10.10 Silicon Valley New
series. Richard
Hendricks’
decentralised internet
PiperNet approaches
its debut See What to
watch
10.45 Our Cartoon President
11.20 Divorce (R)
11.55 Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver (R)
12.30 - 1.35am The Sopranos
(R) (S)
8.30 Young Sheldon 9.00 Brooklyn NineNine 9.30 Derry Girls 10.00 The
Inbetweeners 10.35 The Windsors 11.05
The Big Bang Theory 12.05 - 1.10am
First Dates
Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00 Counting
Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00 American
Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars 9.00 Forged
in Fire 10.00 Ultimate Vehicles 11.00 1.00am Monsterquest
Crash Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00
Air Crash Investigation 8.00 Car SOS
9.00 Wicked Tuna 10.00 Science of
Stupid 11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00 - 1.00am Strippers: Cars for Cash
6.00 Hitler’s Olympics: The Boys of ’36
7.00 First Britons 8.00 After Hitler 9.00
The Two Ronnies 11.00 - 1.00am
Steptoe and Son
GOLD
MORE4
W
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY
Y 110 VIRGIN 124
FV 14 FS 124 SKY
Y 138 VIRGIN 147
SKY
Y 109 VIRGIN 125
SKY
Y 401 VIRGIN 511
noon The Green Green Grass 12.40pm As
Time Goes By 1.20 Waiting for God 2.00
Only Fools and Horses 2.40 Porridge 3.20
Open All Hours 4.00 Last of the Summer
Wine 5.20 As Time Goes By 6.00 Dad’s
Army 6.40 One Foot in the Grave 7.20
Porridge 8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40 Only
Fools and Horses 9.20 Harry Enfield and
Chums 10.40 Two Doors Down 11.20
Jack Dee Live at the Apollo 12.20 1.35am Come Fly with Me
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s
Love It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of
the Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The
Good Fight 10.05 The Undateables 11.10
24 Hours in A&E 12.15am Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10 The Good
Fight 2.15 24 Hours in A&E 3.15 3.55am 8 Out of 10 Cats
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 Cocaine Capital of the
World: Stacey Dooley Investigates 10.00
One Born Every Minute 11.00 Gavin &
Stacey 12.20 - 1.15am Inside the
Ambulance
10.00am Live NRL 1.00pm Sky Sports
News 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5 6.00 Sky
Sports News at 6 7.00 The Masters: Live.
Coverage of the opening day of the year’s
first Major from the Augusta National in
Georgia, where Spain’s Sergio Garcia won
the coveted green jacket last year 12.30 1.00am Jordan Spieth: From Minor to
Major
Y E S T E R D AY
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SILICON VALLEY
Sky Atlantic, 10.15pm
The popular HBO
tech-comedy returns for
a fifth series as, despite
their record of failure
(a video chat app that
contravened privacy
laws and a partner
permanently sozzled in
Tibet were just two of
their problems), the team
at Pied Piper look to be
on the verge of success.
As Richard’s (Thomas
Middleditch)
decentralised internet
concept approaches
launch, there’s ample
funding for once and
new offices. But the
pressure to get things
right begins to play on
Richard’s mind. GO
ITV2
H I S T O RY
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY
Y 529 VIRGIN 270
SKY
Y 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Forged in Fire 1.00pm Pawn Stars
2.00 American Pickers 3.00 Counting
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm To
Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport 3.00 Air
FV 19 FS 159 SKY
Y 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Time Team 1.00pm Great Barrier
Reef with David Attenborough 2.00
Madagascar 3.00 Coast 4.00 Scotland’s
Murder Mysteries 5.00 World War Weird
FV 24 FS 117 SKY
Y 120 VIRGIN 118
6.30
7.00
7.30
8.00
9.00
11.30
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Best of
Darrell and Brandon (R)
Storage Wars: Best of
Barry Weiss (R) (S)
Pawn Stars Rick is
tempted by a 1974
Volkswagen (R) (S)
Pawn Stars The gang
values a can of fake
elephant manure (R) (S)
The Big Fish Offf With
Jimmy Bullard (S)
FILM Live and Let Die
(1973) James Bond
battles the dictator of a
Caribbean island intent
on flooding America with
limitless supplies of
heroin. Spy adventure
with Roger Moore U See
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
- 1.45am FILM 6 Bullets
(2012) Action thriller
starring Jean-Claude Van
Damme (AD) (S)
SKY
Y 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Premier League World 12.30pm PL
Greatest Games 1.00 Premier League
100 Club 2.00 PL Best Goals 04/05 3.00
SKY
Y 108
Premier League Years 5.00 Premier
League World 5.30 Premier League
100 Club 6.00 Premier League Today
6.30 Premier League 100 Club
7.00 Premier League World 7.30
Premier League Match Pack 8.00 The
Fantasy Football Club: Merse Meets
Tony Adams 9.30 Premier League
World 10.00 The Debate 11.00
Premier League Match Pack 11.30
Premier League Today 12.00 - 1.00am
PL Best Goals 14/15
BT SPORT 1
SKY
Y 413 VIRGIN 531
11.30am Classic Premier League
12.30pm Classic Premier League 1.30
Inside Sailing 2.00 30 for 30.
A look at the 1983 NFL Draft that was
highlighted by a record six quarterbacks
being taken in the first round 3.30 BT
Sport Goals Reload 4.00 - 2.00am Live
WTA Tennis. Action from the Volvo Car
Open in Charleston, the largest
women’s-only tournament in the world
46
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION FRIDAY 6 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Blurred realities: David Morrissey and Mandeep Dhillon
THE CITY & THE CITY
BBC Two, 9.00pm; Northern Ireland, 9.30pm
“I knew there was
another city I dare not
see… Just on the other
side of where I was
supposed to look.” So
states Inspector Tyador
Borlú (David Morrissey)
midway through this
engrossing adaptation
of China Miéville’s
Borgesian novel, which
achieves the apparently
impossible by bringing
a dense and clever
book to brilliant,
atmospheric life.
Borlú, a detective with
the Extreme Crime Squad
in the rundown vaguely
Eastern European city of
Beszul, is handed the task
of solving the murder
of a foreign student. So
far, so standard, but
what unfolds turns out
to be anything but as
scriptwriter Tony Grisoni
(Red Riding) expertly
captures Miéville’s vision
of a world in which a city
is divided not by a wall or
barricade, but by blurred
realities the populace is
trained from birth not to
see. Thus the two cities
of Beszul and Ul Qoma
coexist in the same
space but without
acknowledging each
other, the town hall their
only shared space.
To look directly on the
other city is to commit
“Breach”, bringing about
the wrath of the secret
police. Grisoni and
director Tom Shankland
build the tension
inexorably as Borlú’s
world is slowly but surely
upended. An absolute
treat. Sarah Hughes
SOUNDS LIKE
FRIDAY NIGHT
BBC One, 7.30pm
The BBC’s music TV
revival didn’t make a
huge splash with its first
series but it’s still worth
checking out, if only
because co-host and
Radio 1Xtra presenter
Dotty is such a likeable
presence. Tonight, she’s
on the road, while Greg
James anchors from the
studio. Professor Green,
Snow Patrol and Years &
Years perform.
HAVE I GOT NEWS
FOR YOU
BBC One, 9.30pm
The satirical quiz show
returns for a 55th series,
with captains Paul
Merton and Ian Hislop
joined by presenter Steph
McGovern and comedian
Josh Widdicombe;
Jeremy Paxman hosts.
THE GRAHAM
NORTON SHOW
BBC One, 10.35pm
In an era when the talk
show appears tired
somehow Graham Norton
Sounds Like Friday Night:
Dotty and Greg James
manages to keep the
format enjoyable.
Tonight’s episode, the
first in a new series, sees
husband-and-wife team
Emily Blunt and John
Krasinski discuss their
horror A Quiet Place.
FRONT ROW LATE
BBC Two, 11.05pm;
N Ireland, 11.35pm
Following the kerfuffle
over its poorly received
first series, the arts show
returns with a rejigged
format and Mary Beard in
the presenter’s chair.
Informed debate is
promised, although
Beard has said that she
won’t simply replicate the
notoriously combative
Newsnight Review. SH
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Continued live
coverage of day two of
the Games in
Queensland with
swimming at the Optus
Aquatic Centre and track
cycling at the Anna
Meares Velodrome the
main focus (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Moving On (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 Escape to the Continent
(AD) (R) (S)
3.30 Money for Nothing
g (S)
4.15 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
7.00 The One Show (S)
7.30 Sounds Like Friday
Night New series. Music
by Years and Years, Snow
Patrol and Meghan
Trainor See What to
watch (S)
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Live
coverage of day two of
the Games in
Queensland with the
women’s artistic
gymnastics team allaround final taking
centre stage at Coomera
Indoor Sports Centre (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Street Auction (R) (S)
11.45 Claimed and Shamed (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
5.45 Golf: The Masters
Highlights (S)
6.45 Football: Women’s
World Cup Qualification
E gl d v Wales
England
W l (kick-off
(ki k ff
7.00pm). Coverage of
the World Cup qualifying
Group One match at St
Mary’s Stadium,
Southampton (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
10.30 This Morning
g (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.00 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
10.50 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
11.50 News (S)
11.55 Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Practice 1
Live (S)
2.10 pm Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun
(R) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Laurel faces
an emotional day (AD)
(S)
7.30 Coronation Street Mary
and Tracy spring a
surprise on Jude (AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 Love Your Garden The
green-fingered experts
help transform a Hull
nurse’s garden (AD) (S)
8.30 Coronation Street (AD)
(S)
8.00 I Don’t Like Mondays
New series. Comedy
game show, hosted by
Alan Carr (S)
9.00 Lethal Weapon Riggs
and Murtaugh are thrown
into the world of
counterfeit money (AD)
(S)
9.00 Gogglebox The
households’ opinions on
recent television (AD) (S)
8.00 EastEnders The day of
the E20 reopening
arrives (AD) (S)
8.30 Room 101 The best bits
from the series, plus
some unseen clips. Last
in the series (S)
9.00 MasterCheff (AD) (S)
9.30 Have I Got News for You
New series. Hosted by
Jeremy Paxman See
What to watch (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.25 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.35 The Graham Norton
Show New series. With
guests Emily Blunt, John
Krasinski, Tom Holland
and Kylie Minogue See
What to watch (S)
11.25 Commonwealth Games
2018: The Games Today
(S) 11.55 Commonwealth
Games 2018 (S) 4.00 6.00am Commonwealth
Games 2018 (S)
9.00 The City & the City New
series. Detective thriller
starring David Morrissey
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
10.00 Episodes The video of
Matt’s escapade with the
girl in the box goes viral
(AD) (S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
11.05 Front Row Late See
What to watch (S) 11.35
The Assassination of
Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story
(AD) (R) (S) 12.25am Sign
Zone (AD) (R) (S) (SL)
3.35 - 6.00am News (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 FILM Hellboy II: The
Golden Army (2008)
Action fantasy sequel
starring Ron Perlman
(AD) (S)
12.50 am Jackpot247 3.00
Take on the Twisters (R)
(S) 3.50 - 6.00am ITV
Nightscreen
Variations
Teleshopping
ITV REGIONS
WA L E S
N IRELAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 5.15 - 5.45pm Wales Football:
The Women in Red
ITV Wales: 8.00 - 8.30pm Velindre:
Hospital of Hope
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 12.50 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
BBC One: 6.55 - 7.00pm Party Political
Broadcast
BBC Two: 6.45pm Escape to the Country
7.30 Ulster Rugby Live 9.30 - 10.30 The
City & the City 11.05 Episodes 11.35 12.05am Front Row Late
UTV: 6.25 - 6.30pm Party Political
Broadcast 8.00 - 8.30 UTV Life 12.50am
Teleshopping 2.20 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 8.00 - 8.30pm Peter & Roughie’s
Friday Football Show 12.50am
Teleshopping 1.50 After Midnight 3.20
Tenable 4.10 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.30 - 6.00am
10.00 Lee and Dean (AD) (S)
10.35 8 Out of 10 Cats (R) (S)
11.20 Rob Beckett’s Playing for
Time (AD) (S) 11.50 Rude
Tube (R) (S) 12.45am
FILM Lawless (2012) U
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S) 2.45 Kiss Me
First (AD) (R) (S) (SL)
3.40 Electric Dreams: Kill
All Others (AD) (R) (S)
(SL) 4.35 The Question
Jury (R) (S) 5.30
Streetmate (R) (S) 5.55 6.15am Kirstie’s Fill Your
House for Free (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY
Y 107 VIRGIN 112
S4C
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 Customs UK 3.00 Nothing to
Declare 5.00 Border Security: Canada’s
Front Line 6.00 Air Rescue 7.00 The Real
A&E 8.00 America’s Next Top Model 9.00
Conviction 10.00 Nashville 11.00
Criminal Minds 12.00 - 1.00am Britain’s
Most Evil Killers
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Genod y Carnifal 12.30 Band Cymru
2018 1.30 Llys Nini 2.00 Newyddion
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion 3.05
Pengelli 3.30 Dei a Tom 4.00 Awr Fawr
5.00 Stwnsh 6.00 Newyddion 6.05
Cwpwrdd Dillad 6.30 Celwydd Noeth
7.00 Heno 7.30 Clwb Rygbi 9.35 Galw
Nain Nain Nain 10.10 Y Stiwdio Gefn
10.40 - 11.45pm Parch
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY
Y 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.15 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.15 FILM A Father’s Guilty
Secret (2016, TVM)
Thriller starring Willa
Ford (S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
The Nineties: James
Gandolfini in The Sopranos
BBC YOUNG
MUSICIAN 2018
BBC Four, 7.30pm
7.00 The Gadget Show The
team puts the latest
outdoor gadgets to the
test (S)
8.00 Britain’s Great
Cathedrals with Tony
Robinson The history of
Canterbury Cathedral (S)
9.00 Jane McDonald &
Friends With guests
Tony Hadley and Shayne
Ward. Last in the series
(S)
10.00 Will & Grace Jack is
unhappy that Will has
rekindled his relationship
with Michael (S)
10.35 Greatest Ever Celebrity
Wind Ups (R) (S)
11.35 Lip Sync Battle UK: Joey
Essex vs Louie Spence
(S) 12.00 SuperCasino (S)
4.00am GPs: Behind
Closed Doors (AD) (R) (S)
4.45 House Doctor (R)
(S) (SL) 5.10 Great
Scientists (R) (S) (SL)
5.35 - 6.00am Wildlife
SOS (R) (S) (SL)
The contest kicks off at
the Royal Birmingham
Conservatoire’s new
concert hall. Presenter
Josie d’Arby is joined
by 1998 finalist Alison
Balsom as we meet the
final five: violinists
Elodie ChousmerHowelles and Stephanie
Childress, double bassist
Will Duerden, guitarist
Torrin Williams and
cellist Maxim Calver. The
judges are double bassist
Leon Bosch, classical
guitarist Miloš
Karadaglić, violinist
and previous Young
Musician of the Year
winner, Jennifer Pike.
Composer Kerry Andrew
and the contestants will
perform works by Bach,
Brahms and Stravinsky.
THE NINETIES
Sky Arts, 9.00pm
There’s nothing like
seeing the decade you
came of age in co-opted
for nostalgic TV to make
you feel old, but for
those who can bear
seeing their youth
dissected Sky Arts at
least does it well.
Tonight’s second episode
continues the focus on
the decade’s TV with The
Sopranos and Seinfeld
under discussion. SH
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
SKY
Y 121 VIRGIN 122
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Y 315 VIRGIN 428
Film4
Sky One
7.00 pm World News Today
(S)
7.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 New series. At the
Royal Birmingham
Conservatoire’s brand
new concert hall, Josie
d’Arby is joined by Alison
Balsom See What to
watch (S)
9.00 Forever Young: How
Rock ’n’ Roll Grew Up
How rock ’n’ roll stars
have coped with growing
old (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Billy Fury: The Sound of
Fury The story of the
performer and his impact
on British popular music
(R) (S)
11.30 It’s Only Rock ’n’ Roll:
Rock ’n’ Roll at the BBC
Including performances
by Jerry Lee Lewis, Oasis
and Joan Jett (R) (S)
12.30 am Guitar Heroes on
Later with Jools Holland
(R) (S)
1.30 Forever Young: How
Rock ’n’ Roll Grew Up
(AD) (R) (S)
2.30 - 3.55am Billy Fury: The
Sound of Fury (R) (S)
12.00 noon The Sixties (AD)
(S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Telly
Savalas (AD) (S)
2.00 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Video Killed the Radio
Star (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Glam Rock
Key moments in the
development of glam
rock (S)
5.00 The Sixties (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Leslie
Howard (AD) (S)
7.00 Johnny Cash: Song by
Song
g (AD) (S)
7.30 Dolly Parton: Song by
Song
g (AD) (S)
8.00 Video Killed the Radio
Star (AD) (S)
8.30 Discovering: REM (S)
9.00 The Nineties See What
to watch
10.00 Blur/Oasis: The Britpop
Years
11.15 Brian Johnson’s A Life
on the Road (AD) (S)
12.15 - 1.30am The Who:
Sensation: The Story of
Tommy (S)
11.00 am The Boxtrolls (2014)
Stop-motion animated
fantasy (S)
12.50 pm The Rugrats in Paris:
The Movie (2000)
Animated adventure
with the voice of
Christine Cavanaugh (S)
2.25 Hotel for Dogs (2009)
Family comedy starring
Emma Roberts and Jake
T Austin (S)
4.30 The Princess Diaries
(2001) Family comedy
starring Anne Hathaway
(AD) (S)
6.45 Back to the Future
(1985) Sci-fi comedy
adventure starring
Michael J Fox (S)
9.00 Four Weddings and a
Funeral (1994) A man’s
misfortunes in love look
set to change when he
meets an American
beauty at a wedding.
Richard Curtis’s romantic
comedy starring Hugh
Grant U See Films of the
week, p32 (AD) (S)
11.20 - 1.05am Bullet to the
Head (2012) Action
thriller (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons Principal
Skinner and Mrs
Krabappel get engaged
(R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 The Simpsons
8.30 Modern Family
9.00 Karl Pilkington: The
Moaning of Life Karl
Pilkington considers
the point of art (AD) (R)
(S)
10.00 The Late Late Show
with James Corden:
Best of the Week
Highlights (R)
11.00 A League of Their Own
(AD) (R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Football’s
Funniest Moments
(AD) (R) (S)
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
11.00 am FILM Around the
World in 80 Days
(2004) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Emmerdale (AD) (R) (S)
1.15 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (R) (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 FILM American Pie
(1999) (AD) (S)
11.00 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.30 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.55 American Dad! (AD) (R)
(S)
12.25 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.55 - 1.25am Two and a Half
Men (R) (S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse (R)
(S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street Percy starts his
crossing duty (R)
3.45 Judge Judy Real-life
small-claims cases (R)
(S)
4.10 FILM Carry On Henry
(1971) Comedy starring
Sid James (AD) (S)
5.55 Heartbeat Merton and
Jenny prepare to tie the
knot (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote A
killer stalks a college
campus (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s
Marple A Ouija board
predicts a murder.
Geraldine McEwan stars
(R) (S)
10.00 The Syndicate (R) (S)
11.05 Killer Women with Piers
Morgan (AD) (R) (S)
12.10 - 1.15am Rising Damp
Forever (R) (S)
11.40
12.50
1.50
2.55
3.55
5.00
6.05
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
5.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A realestate entrepreneur is
poisoned (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Jamie and
Eddie ask Erin to drop
the charges against a
local hero (R)
9.00 Game of Thrones
Tyrion is sent to greet a
royal party and Arya
runs into a familiar face
(AD) (R) (S)
10.15 Game of Thrones The
day of King Joffrey’s
wedding to Margaery
Tyrell arrives (AD) (R)
(S)
11.30 Game of Thrones (AD)
(R) (S)
12.45 - 1.50am The
Sopranos (R) (S)
Crash Investigation 12.00 - 1.00am
Strippers: Cars for Cash
FV 9 FS 107 SKY
Y 116 VIRGIN 107
ITV2
FV 6 FS 113 SKY
Y 118 VIRGIN 115
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Into the Fire 9.00
Fawlty Towers 11.15 QI 12.35 - 1.15am
Mock the Week
9.00 FILM The Watch (2012) 11.00 The
Big Bang Theory 11.55 - 1.00am First
Dates
9.00 Hitler’s Circle of Evil 10.00 D-Day:
Lost Films 12.00 - 1.00am Ice Lake
Warriors
D I S C OV E RY
GOLD
MORE4
SKY
Y 520 VIRGIN 250
SKY
Y 110 VIRGIN 124
FV 14 FS 124 SKY
Y 138 VIRGIN 147
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Nasa’s Unexplained Files 6.00 Wheeler
Dealers 8.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
9.00 Cars That Rock with Brian Johnson
10.00 The Route Masters 11.00 Wheeler
Dealers 12.00 - 1.00am Cars That Rock
with Brian Johnson
noon The Green Green Grass 12.40pm As
Time Goes By 1.20 Dad’s Army 2.00 Only
Fools and Horses 2.40 Porridge 3.20
Open All Hours 4.00 Last of the Summer
Wine 5.20 As Time Goes By 6.00 Dad’s
Army 6.40 One Foot in the Grave 7.20
Porridge 8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40 Only
Fools and Horses 9.20 The Vicar of Dibley
10.40 Smack the Pony 11.50 Nathan
Barley 12.55 - 2.00am Smack the Pony
11.35am Four in a Bed 1.55pm Come
Dine with Me 3.55 Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Practice 2 Live 5.35 Car SOS
6.40 Jamie’s Comfort Food 6.55 The
Secret Life of the Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs
9.00 Rough Justice 10.00 24 Hours in
A&E 12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA 1.10 24 Hours in A&E
3.15 - 3.55am 8 Out of 10 Cats
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY
Y 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Big Bang Theory
47
H I S T O RY
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY
Y 529 VIRGIN 270
SKY
Y 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Hitler’s Circle of Evil 1.00pm Pawn
Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm To
Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport 3.00 Air
Crash Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00
Air Crash Investigation 8.00 Car SOS
10.00 Supercar Megabuild 11.00 Air
FV 10 FS 115 SKY
Y 119 VIRGIN 117
W
SKY
Y 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 999 Rescue Squad
10.00 Embarrassing Bodies 11.00 Gavin
& Stacey 11.40 Russell Howard’s Good
News 12.20 - 1.20am Inside the
Ambulance
Y E S T E R D AY
FV 19 FS 159 SKY
Y 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Time Team 1.00pm Great Barrier
Reef with David Attenborough 2.00
Attenborough’s Living Lights 3.00 Coast
4.00 Scotland’s Murder Mysteries 5.00
World War Weird 6.00 Hitler’s Space
Rocket 7.00 Graham Hill: Driven 8.00
Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow
FV 24 FS 117 SKY
Y 120 VIRGIN 118
6.30
7.00
7.30
8.00
9.00
10.00
12.05
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Best of
the Appraisals (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
The Motorbike Show
Henry Cole tours Majorca
on a classic bike, begins
the restoration of a
vintage Harley-Davidson,
and visits Bike Shed in
London, the home of the
New Wave custom scene
(R) (S)
Car Crash Britain:
Caught on Camera A
woman who got more
than she bargained for
crossing the road (R) (S)
FILM First Blood (1982)
Action thriller starring
Sylvester Stallone (AD)
(S)
- 1.05am The Americans
(R) (S)
9.00 Steptoe and Son 11.00 Scotland’s
Murder Mysteries 12.00 - 1.00am World
War Weird
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY
Y 401 VIRGIN 511
11.45am Live Formula 1 1.45pm
Paddock Uncut 2.00 Football Centre 3.30
Paddock Uncut 3.45 Live Formula 1 5.45
Paddock Uncut 6.00 Sky Sports News at
6 7.00 The Masters: Live. Coverage of the
second day of the year’s first Major from
the Augusta National in Georgia 12.30 1.30am Last 9 On Sunday
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY
Y 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Premier League Match Pack
12.30pm Premier League Today 1.00
Football Centre 5.00 Premier League
Match Pack 5.30 Premier League Today
6.30 PL Prediction Show 7.00 Premier
SKY
Y 106 VIRGIN 110
SKY
Y 108
League Match Pack 7.30 Premier
League Preview 8.00 PL Prediction
Show 8.30 Premier League Today 9.00
Premier League Preview 9.30 PL
Prediction Show 10.00 PL Greatest
Games 10.15 The Debate 11.15 PL
Greatest Games 11.30 Premier League
Preview 12.00 PL Prediction Show
12.30 - 1.00am Premier League Match
Pack
BT SPORT 1
SKY
Y 413 VIRGIN 531
10.45am Live Hyundai A-League
1.00pm Ligue 1 Show 1.30 30 for 30
2.30 Rugby Tonight On Tour 3.00 NBA
4.30 Ligue 1 Show 5.00 Bundesliga
Weekly 5.30 Serie A Show 6.00 Rugby
Tonight On Tour 6.30 Premier League
Preview 7.00 Live Aviva Premiership
Rugby Union 10.00 World Rally
Championship 10.30 Premier League
Preview 11.00 Premier League Match
Pack 11.30 Uefa Champions League
Magazine 12.00 - 2.30am Live NBA
48
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Radio
RADIO CRITIC
The bank holiday
weekend on radio is an
indulgent feast of music
and drama, beginning
with a slice of James
Bond. Toby Stephens
returns as Radio 4’s man
with a licence to kill in a
new adaptation of Drama:
Moonraker (Saturday,
Radio 4, 2.30pm),
alongside Samuel West
as Sir Hugo Drax. Here
Britain is preparing to
launch an atomic
rocket in suspicious
circumstances. With
what follows, highoctane silliness is
guaranteed.
Radio 4 celebrates the
most important day in
the Christian calendar
from the Cathedral and
Abbey Church of St
Alban, with Easter
Sunday Worship
(Sunday, Radio 4,
8.10am). It includes a
heart-raising selection
of joyous hymns sung by
the congregation and
choir. The service
features This Joyful
Eastertide, Jesus Christ
Is Risen Today, Love’s
Redeeming Work Is
Done and Thine be the
Glory.
Andrew Lloyd
Webber, the undisputed
king of musicals,
celebrated his 70th
birthday recently, and
Radio 2 is saying many
happy returns in the
Andrew Lloyd Webber:
Variations Mon, Radio 2, 8.00pm
wrote her first Poirot novel
in 2014, is now approaching
the publication of her third.
As she discusses in In The
Studio: Sophie Hannah –
Recreating Poirot (Tuesday,
World Service, 11.30am), this
revival is a complex process
that requires cooperation at
every stage with Christie’s
estate. Hannah also recalls
her own struggles with
crafting a satisfying
manuscript and a fresh
crime classic.
This new series of Soul
Music (Wednesday, Radio 4,
9.00am) begins by marking
the 60th anniversary of the
assassination of Dr Martin
Luther King. It focuses on
the freedom songs,
spirituals and protest
songs of the Civil Rights
Movement. Actor Clarke
Peters (The Wire) narrates
the story of some of the
most stirring songs in
American history, which
still have a power that still
resonates today, such as
Swing Low Sweet Chariot,
We Shall Overcome,
Amazing Grace, Strange
Fruit and A Change Is
Gonna Come.
One of the most original
and funniest programmes
around makes an
unmissable return to
Radio 4’s late-night
comedy slot. Purporting
to be “the number one
podcast for those involved
or just interested in the
production of beef
animals and dairy herds”,
there is a little more to
Beef and Dairy Network
(Thursday, Radio 4,
11.00pm) than that. The joy
of Benjamin Partridge’s
show is the deadpan
delivery of its increasingly
surreal material. This
episode features an
interview with Michael
Banyan, the former bovine
poet laureate, who is now
in hiding.
At the end of the week,
Ken Bruce marks the
100th anniversary of the
Royal Air Force with Carol
Vorderman and Dan Snow
in a Friday Night Is Music
Night special (Friday,
Radio 2, 8.00pm) live
from the Albert Hall. The
concert comprises music,
comedy, ceremonial drill,
archive footage and
personal recollections by
the men and women of the
Royal Air Force, past and
present, and it previews
some of the wider
programme of events
scheduled this year.
Saturday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.00am Radio 1’s Greatest
Hits with Alice Levine 10.00
Radio 1’s Greatest Hits with
Maya Jama 1.00pm The Matt
Edmondson Show 4.00 Radio 1’s
Dance Anthems with MistaJam
7.00 1Xtra’s Takeover with DJ
Target 9.00 The Rap Show with
Charlie Sloth 11.00 Diplo and
Friends 1.00am Radio 1’s Asian
Beats with Kan D Man & DJ
Limelight 4.00 - 6.00am David
Rodigan
Drama: Moonraker – Samuel
West Radio 4, 2.30pm
7.00 am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Record Review
12.15 pm Music Matters
1.00 News
1.02 Saturday Classics
3.00 Sound of Cinema
4.00 Jazz Record Requests
5.00 Jazz Line-Up
6.30 Opera on 3 from the Met.
Mary Jo Heath presents a
live performance of
Mozart’s Cosi fan tutte
with David Robertson
conducting the
Metropolitan Opera
House orchestra and
chorus
10.30 Hear and Now. Robert
Worby introduces a
concert by the Ulster
Orchestra, featuring new
music by Greg Caffrey,
Brian Irvine, Elaine
Agnew, Patrick Brennan
and Ed Bennett
12.00 Geoffrey Smith’s Jazz
1.00 - 7.00am Through the
Night
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Money Box
12.30 The Now Show
12.57 Weather
1.00 News
1.10 Any Questions?. Ritula
Shah chairs a topical
discussion from the Radio
Theatre at Broadcasting
House, London, where
panellists include Nimco
Ali, Tristram Hunt and
Lionel Shriver
2.00 Any Answers?
2.30 Drama: Moonraker
See Pick of the week
4.00 Weekend Woman’s Hour
5.00 Saturday PM
5.30 The Bottom Line
5.54 Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Loose Ends
7.00 Profile
7.15 Saturday Review
8.00 Archive on 4: Per Ardua
Ad Astra: RAF Voices
9.00 Drama: Boswell at Large:
A Corsican Adventure. By
David Ashton. An
irreverent take on James
Boswell’s Corsican
journals. Boswell is now
24 and under pressure to
grow up and become a
man
10.00 News; Weather
10.15 The Moral Maze
10.30 LW: Test Match Special
11.00 FM: Brain of Britain
11.30 FM: Hiraeth
12.00 FM: News; Weather
12.30 am FM: Short Works
12.48 FM: Shipping Forecast
1.00 FM: As BBC World
Service
5.20 FM: Shipping Forecast
5.30 LW: Test Match Special
5.30 FM: News Briefing
5.43 FM: Bells on Sunday
5.45 - 6.00am FM: Profile
Radio 4
Radio 4 Extra
6.00 am FM: News and Papers
6.07 FM: Ramblings
6.30 FM: Farming Today This
Week
6.57 FM: Weather
7.00 Today
9.00 Saturday Live
10.30 Gyles Brandreth and the
Art of Persuasion
11.00 The Week in Westminster
11.30 From Our Own
Correspondent
12.00 News
6.00am Remember Me 7.30
Freedom Pass 8.00 Archive on
4: Giving Way to a New Era 9.00
Carousel 11.50 Inheritance
Tracks 12.00 Listomania
12.30pm Arrested Development
1.00 Judas Omnibus 2.10
Inheritance Tracks 2.15
Sentimental Journey 2.45 I
Should Say So 3.00 Archive on
4: Giving Way to a New Era 4.00
Remember Me 5.30 Freedom
Pass 6.00 Cry Babies 6.45
Cookie Jar 7.00 4 Extra
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.00am Sounds of the 60s
8.00 Saturday Breakfast with
Dermot 10.00 Graham Norton
1.00pm Pick of the Pops 3.00
The Zoe Ball Show 6.00 Liza
Tarbuck 8.00 Trevor Nelson’s
Rhythm Nation 10.00 The Craig
Charles House Party 12.00 Ana
Matronic’s Disco Devotion
2.00am Radio 2’s Showtunes
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Love Songs 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Easy 5.00 - 6.00am
Huey on Sunday
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
Friday Night Is Music Night: Carol Vorderman Friday, Radio 2, 8.00pm
WIREIMAGE
CHARLOTTE
RUNCIE
form of a series of musical
tributes in Andrew Lloyd
Webber: Variations
(Monday, Radio 2, 8.00pm).
Various artists have
recorded their own versions
of favourite Lloyd Webber
numbers. These include
Mica Paris performing Only
You from Starlight Express
and Rick Astley singing
Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.
The crime writer Sophie
Hannah has embarked on a
project that sounds like
literary heresy:
resurrecting Agatha
Christie’s Belgian sleuth
Hercule Poirot and writing
new instalments of his
adventures. Hannah, who
Digital only
Celebrates Dora Bryan 10.00 My
Teenage Diary 10.30 Irish Micks
and Legends 10.45 Terry
Alderton’s All Crazy Now 10.55
The Comedy Club Interview
11.00 That Mitchell and Webb
Sound 11.30 Think the
Unthinkable 12.00 Cry Babies
12.45am Cookie Jar 1.00 Judas
Omnibus 2.10 Inheritance Tracks
2.15 Sentimental Journey 2.45 I
Should Say So 3.00 Archive on
4: Giving Way to a New Era 4.00
Remember Me 5.30 - 6.00am
Freedom Pass
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am Saturday Breakfast
9.00 The Danny Baker Show
11.00 Fighting Talk 12.00 5 Live
Sport 12.30pm 5 Live Sport:
Premier League Football 2017-18
2.30 5 Live Sport 3.00 5 Live
Sport: Premier League Football
2017-18 5.00 Sports Report
6.00 6-0-6 8.00 Kermode and
Mayo’s Film Review 9.00
Stephen Nolan 12.00 Arts Club
with Will Gompertz 1.00am Up
All Night 5.00 - 6.00am 5 Live
Science
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
7.00am Alan Titchmarsh 9.00
The Classic FM Hall of Fame with
Bill Turnbull 12.00 The Classic
FM Hall of Fame with AnneMarie Minhall 3.00pm The
Classic FM Hall of Fame with
Catherine Bott 6.00 The Classic
FM Hall of Fame with Rob
Cowan 9.00 Blowers Around
Britain 10.00 Smooth Classics
2.00am Katie Breathwick 4.00 7.00am Jane Jones
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Weekend 8.30 Outlook
9.00 News 9.06 The World This
Week 9.30 The Cultural
Frontline 10.00 Sports Hour
11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.30 Global
Business 12.00 The Real Story
1.00pm Newshour 2.00 News
2.06 Music Extra 3.00 News
3.06 Sportsworld 4.00 News
4.06 Sportsworld 5.00 News
5.06 Sportsworld 6.00 The
Newsroom 6.30 The Cultural
Frontline 7.00 News 7.06 The
Music of Our Time 8.00 News
8.06 The Forum 8.50 Over to
You 9.00 Newshour 10.00 News
10.06 The Newsroom 10.20
Sports News 10.30 Global
Business 11.00 News 11.06 The
World This Week 11.30 Boston
Calling 12.00 News 12.06am
The Cultural Frontline 12.30
Trending 12.50 Over to You
2.00 News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 Discovery 3.00 News 3.06
From Our Own Correspondent
3.30 Living with the Gods 3.50
Witness 4.00 News 4.06 The
Documentary 5.00 News 5.06
The Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Assignment
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
Sunday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.00am Radio 1’s Greatest Hits
with Alice Levine 10.00 Radio 1’s
Greatest Hits with Jordan North
1.00pm The Matt Edmondson
Show 4.00 Radio 1’s Life Hacks
with Cel Spellman and Katie
Thistleton 6.00 Radio 1’s Most
Played 7.00 Rock Show with
Daniel P Carter 10.00 Phil
Taggart 1.00am Monki 3.00
Radio 1’s Artist Takeover with
Sigala 4.00 - 6.30am Radio 1’s
Greatest Hits with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.00am Good Morning Sunday
9.00 Steve Wright’s Sunday Love
Songs 11.00 The Michael Ball
Show 1.00pm Jonathan Ross on
Andrew Lloyd Webber 3.00
Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the
70s 5.00 Paul O’Grady 7.00 The
Superstar Story 9.00 Clare Teal
11.00 Moira Stuart 12.00 Sounds
of the 60s 2.00am Radio 2’s
Blues Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlists: Pop Ballads 4.00 Radio
2 Playlist: Monday Motivation
5.00 - 6.30am Nicki Chapman
Monday
12.30 The Food Programme
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World This Weekend
1.30 Humiliation
2.00 Gardeners’ Question Time
2.45 The Listening Project
3.00 Drama: An Enemy of the
People
4.00 News
4.02 Bookclub
4.30 In Love with Mud: A
Poetic Exploration of Mud
5.00 The Green Book
5.40 Profile
5.54 Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Pick of the Week
7.00 The Archers
7.15 In and Out of the Kitchen
7.45 Life at Absolute Zero
8.00 Feedback
8.30 Last Word
9.00 Money Box
9.26 Radio 4 Appeal
9.30 Analysis
10.00 The Westminster Hour
10.30 LW: Test Match Special
11.00 FM: Radiolab
12.00 FM: News; Weather
12.15 am FM: Thinking Allowed
12.45 FM: Bells on Sunday
12.48 FM: Shipping Forecast
1.00 FM: As BBC World Service
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
Radio 1
Radio 5 Live
6.00am Sunday Breakfast 9.00
SportsWeek 10.00 Brexitcast
11.00 Flintoff, Savage and the
Ping Pong Guy 12.00 5 Live Sport
12.15pm MOTD2 Extra 1.00 5
Live Sport 1.30 5 Live Sport:
Premier League Football 2017-18
3.30 5 Live Sport 4.00 5 Live
Sport: Premier League Football
2017-18 6.00 6-0-6 7.30 Peter
Allen and Lucy Grey 10.00
Stephen Nolan 1.00am Up All
Night 5.00 Morning Reports 5.15
- 6.00am Wake Up to Money
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken
Bruce 12.00 Martin Roberts
2.00pm Bryan Adams Prog
Rocks 4.00 Tony Blackburn’s
Lucky Numbers 7.00 The Blues
Show with Paul Jones 8.00
Andrew Lloyd Webber:
Variations See Pick of the
week 10.00 The Raw Pearl
Bailey 11.00 Jools Holland 12.00
Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the
70s 2.00am Radio 2’s Jazz
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists:
Great British Songbook 4.00
Radio 2 Playlists: Hidden
Treasures 5.00 - 6.30am
Vanessa Feltz
Classic FM
Radio 3
7.00am Aled Jones 9.00 The
Classic FM Hall of Fame 12.00
The Classic FM Hall of Fame with
Anne-Marie Minhall 3.00pm The
Classic FM Hall of Fame 6.00 The
Classic FM Hall of Fame with Rob
Cowan 9.00 Blowers Around
Britain 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00 - 6.00am Sam Pittis
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schumann
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert.
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Music Matters
10.45 The Essay
11.00 Jazz Now
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
WIREIMAGE
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
The Superstar Story: presenter
Melanie C Radio 2, 7.00pm
5.20 FM: Shipping Forecast
5.30 LW: Test Match Special
5.30 FM: News Briefing
5.43 FM: Prayer for the Day
5.45 FM: Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am FM: Tweet of
the Day
Radio 4
Radio 4 Extra
6.00 am FM: News Headlines
6.05 FM: Something
Understood
6.35 FM: Sunrise Service
6.57 FM: Weather
7.00 News
7.00 Sunday Papers
7.10 Sunday
7.55 Radio 4 Appeal
7.57 Weather
8.00 News
8.00 Sunday Papers
8.10 Easter Sunday Worship
See Pick of the week
8.48 A Point of View
8.58 Tweet of the Day
9.00 Broadcasting House
10.00 The Archers
11.15 The Reunion
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Just a Minute
6.00am The Old Curiosity Shop
Omnibus: Part Four 7.15 Winston
Graham Short Stories 7.30 John
Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme 8.00 Ray’s a Laugh
8.30 Harry Worth in Things
Could Be Worse 9.00 Deep
South: Four Seasons on Back
Roads Omnibus 10.10 The
Listening Project 10.15 Desert
Island Discs Revisited: Artists
11.00 Radiolab 12.00 Ray’s a
Laugh 12.30pm Harry Worth in
Things Could Be Worse 1.00 The
Old Curiosity Shop Omnibus:
Part Four 2.15 Winston Graham
Short Stories 2.30 Reservoir 13
Omnibus: Part Two 3.45 Ian
Fleming’s Thrilling Cities 4.00
Oliver Park: The Easter Riots
5.00 Poetry Extra: The Bards of
Whitelock’s Bar 5.30 John
Finnemore’s Souvenir
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
Programme 6.00 The World of
Daphne Du Maurier 6.30 Weird
Tales 7.00 Radiolab 8.00 Deep
South: Four Seasons on Back
Roads Omnibus 9.10 The
Listening Project 9.15 Desert
Island Discs Revisited: Artists
10.00 Comedy Club 12.00 The
World of Daphne Du Maurier
12.30am Weird Tales 1.00 The
Old Curiosity Shop Omnibus:
Part Four 2.15 Winston Graham
Short Stories 2.30 Reservoir 13
Omnibus: Part Two 3.45 Ian
Fleming’s Thrilling Cities 4.00
Oliver Park: The Easter Riots
5.00 Poetry Extra 5.30 - 6.00am
John Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme
MW 693 & 909kHz
Radio 3
7.00 am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Sunday Morning
12.00 Private Passions
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert.
2.00 The Early Music Show
4.00 Choir and Organ
5.00 The Listening Service
5.30 Words and Music
6.45 Sunday Feature
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
9.00 Drama on 3: Is Your Love
Better Than Life?
10.30 Early Music Late
11.50 Slow Radio: A Japanese
Journey
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
49
Digital only
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Weekend 8.30 The
Food Chain 9.00 News 9.06 The
Compass 9.30 Heart and Soul
10.00 News 10.06 From Our
Own Correspondent 10.30
Trending 10.50 Over to You
11.00 News 11.06 The Newsroom
11.30 Boston Calling 12.00 News
12.06pm The Music of Our Time
1.00 Newshour 2.00 News 2.06
The Documentary 3.00 News
3.06 The Arts Hour 4.00 News
4.06 Sportsworld 5.00 News
5.06 Sportsworld 6.00 News
6.06 Sportsworld 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 The
Conversation 7.50 More or Less
8.00 News 8.06 BBC Introducing
9.00 Newshour 10.00 The
Newsroom 10.20 Sports News
10.30 Heart and Soul 11.00 News
11.06 The History Hour 12.00
News 12.06am The Arts Hour
1.00 News 1.06 World Business
Report 1.30 Outlook 2.00 News
2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
Healthcheck 3.00 News 3.06
HARDtalk 3.30 The Conversation
4.00 News 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
CrowdScience
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am Radio 1’s Greatest Hits
with Alice Levine 1.00pm Radio
1’s Greatest Hits with Matt
Edmondson 4.00 Radio 1’s
Greatest Hits with Katie and Cel
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The 8th
with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Radio 1’s
Drum & Bass Show with Rene
LaVice 3.00 Radio 1’s Specialist
Chart with Phil Taggart 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am FM: Today
7.00 LW: Today
9.00 Start the Week
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Factfulness
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Hunting the Martians
11.30 Ayres on the Air
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Voices of the First World
War
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: The Hunting of
the Snark
3.00 Brain of Britain
3.30 The Food Programme
Bryan Adams Prog Rocks
Radio 2, 2.00pm
4.00 Natalie Haynes Stands Up
for the Classics
4.30 Beyond Belief
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Unbelievable Truth
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row.
7.45 A Book of Middle Eastern
Food
8.00 Davy Crockett and the
Irish Frontiersmen
8.30 Crossing Continents
9.00 The Vet with Two Brains
9.30 Start the Week
9.59 Weather
10.00 The World Tonight
10.30 LW: Test Match Special
10.45 FM: Book at Bedtime:
Rabbit Is Rich
11.00 FM: Something of the
Night
11.30 FM: The Digital Human
12.00 FM: News; Weather
12.30 am FM: Book of the
Week: Factfulness
12.48 FM: Shipping Forecast
1.00 FM: As BBC World Service
5.20 FM: Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 6.30 North and
South: Across the Great Divide
7.00 Millport 7.30 Just a Minute
8.00 Hancock’s Half Hour 8.30
Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel
9.00 We’ve Been Here Before
9.30 King Street Junior 10.00
Sons and Lovers 11.00 Man
About the House 11.15
Goodnight from Him 12.00
Hancock’s Half Hour 12.30pm
Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel
1.00 Brother Cadfael: The Virgin
in the Ice 1.30 North and South:
Across the Great Divide 2.00
The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45 On
Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3.00 Sons and Lovers 4.00
We’ve Been Here Before 4.30
King Street Junior 5.00 Millport
5.30 Just a Minute 6.00
Hothouse 6.30 A Good Read
7.00 Hancock’s Half Hour 7.30
Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel
8.00 Brother Cadfael: The Virgin
in the Ice 8.30 North and South:
Across the Great Divide 9.00
Man About the House 9.15
Goodnight from Him 10.00 Just
a Minute 10.30 Cowards 10.55
The Comedy Club Interview
11.00 The Now Show 11.30 The
Problem with Adam Bloom
12.00 Hothouse 12.30am A
Good Read 1.00 Brother Cadfael:
The Virgin in the Ice 1.30 North
and South: Across the Great
Divide 2.00 The Essex Serpent
2.15 Disability: A New History
2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Sons and Lovers
4.00 We’ve Been Here Before
4.30 King Street Junior 5.00
Millport 5.30 - 6.00am Just a
Minute
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Anna Foster 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 2.30 5 Live Sport 5.30 5
Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport: The
Monday Night Club 9.00 5 Live
Sport: The Tuffers and Vaughan
Cricket Show 10.00 Flintoff,
Savage and the Ping Pong Guy
10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up
All Night 5.00 Morning Reports
5.15 - 6.00am Wake Up to
Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 The Classic FM Hall of
Fame 2018 12.00 The Classic FM
Hall of Fame 2018 3.00pm The
Classic FM Hall of Fame 2018
6.00 The Classic FM Hall of
Fame 2018 9.00 Blowers
Around Britain 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00 - 6.00am Sam
Pittis
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 News
9.06 The Arts Hour 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 The Conversation 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 The Why
Factor 1.50 More or Less 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06
HARDtalk 3.30 World Business
Report 4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News
6.06 Outlook 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 The Why
Factor 8.30 Discovery 9.00
Newshour 10.00 The Newsroom
10.20 Sports News 10.30 World
Business Report 11.00 News
11.06 HARDtalk 11.30 The
Conversation 12.00 News
12.06am The Forum 12.50
Sporting Witness 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
The Why Factor 2.50 More or
Less 3.00 News 3.06 BBC World
Hacks 3.30 In the Studio 4.00
News 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Discovery
50
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Radio
Tuesday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Annie
Nightingale 3.00 Radio 1
Comedy: Scott & Chris 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken
Bruce 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright in the
Afternoon 5.00 Mary Portas
7.00 Jamie Cullum 8.00 Ana
Matronic 10.00 Blood on the
Tracks 11.00 Nigel Ogden: The
Organist Entertains 11.30 Listen
to the Band 12.00 Sounds of the
80s 2.00am Radio 2’s Folk
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
90s Hits 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Wednesday Workout 5.00 6.30am Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schumann
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. Gareth
Williams presents the
Cremona String Quartet,
who play quartets
written by their Italian
compatriots, Giuseppe
Verdi and Ottorino
Respighi
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
10.45 The Essay: The Book That
Changed Me
11.00 Late Junction
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 The Long View
9.30 Nature’s Great Invaders
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Factfulness
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Moving to the Red Planet
11.30 The Voices of
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 Call You and Yours
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Voices of the First World
War
2.00 The Archers
Wednesday
2.15 Drama: Finding Love at
the End of the World
3.00 Short Cuts
3.30 Costing the Earth
4.00 The Followership Game
4.30 Great Lives
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Love in Recovery
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. A round-up of
arts news and reviews
7.45 A Book of Middle Eastern
Food
8.00 The Trans Revolution
8.40 In Touch
9.00 Inconspicuous
Consumption
9.30 The Long View
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Intensive Carey
11.30 The Digital Human
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Factfulness
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 6.30 North and
South: Across the Great Divide
7.00 Arrested Development
7.30 Love in Recovery 8.00 The
Ken Dodd Show 8.30 The Men
from the Ministry 9.00 The Now
Show 9.30 Stilgoe’s Around
10.00 Anna Karenina 11.00 The
Time Being 11.15 HMS Surprise
12.00 The Ken Dodd Show
12.30pm The Men from the
Ministry 1.00 Brother Cadfael:
The Virgin in the Ice 1.30 North
and South: Across the Great
Divide 2.00 The Essex Serpent
2.15 Disability: A New History
2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Anna Karenina
4.00 The Personality Test 4.30
Ballylenon 5.00 Arrested
Development 5.30 Love in
Recovery 6.00 Hothouse 6.30
Pioneers 7.00 The Ken Dodd
Show 7.30 The Men from the
Ministry 8.00 Brother Cadfael:
The Virgin in the Ice 8.30 North
Anna Karenina: star Teresa
Gallagher R4 Extra, 10.00am
and South: Across the Great
Divide 9.00 The Time Being 9.15
HMS Surprise 10.00 Love in
Recovery 10.30 Elvis
McGonagall Takes a Look on the
Bright Side 10.45 Richard Marsh:
Love and Sweets 11.00
ElvenQuest 11.25 The Comedy
Club Interview 11.30 Arthur
Smith’s Balham Bash 12.00
Hothouse 12.30am Pioneers
1.00 Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 1.30 North and
South: Across the Great Divide
2.00 The Essex Serpent
2.15 Disability: A New History
2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Anna Karenina
4.00 The Personality Test 4.30
Ballylenon 5.00 Arrested
Development 5.30 - 6.00am
Love in Recovery
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Anna Foster 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5
Live Sport: Champions League
Football 2017-18 10.30 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Morning Reports 5.15 6.00am Wake Up to Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Jane Jones picks out a
selection of new entries in
2018’s Classic FM Hall of Fame,
playing all these works in full
10.00 Smooth Classics 1.00 6.00am Sam Pittis
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 News
9.06 The Forum 9.50 Sporting
Witness 10.00 World Update
11.00 The Newsroom 11.30 In
The Studio: Sophie Hannah –
Recreating Poirot See Pick of
the week 12.00 News 12.06pm
Outlook 1.00 The Newsroom
1.30 The Documentary 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06 BBC
World Hacks 3.30 World
Business Report 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 Outlook 7.00
The Newsroom 7.30 Sport
Today 8.00 News 8.06 The
Documentary 8.30 Click 9.00
Newshour 10.00 The Newsroom
10.20 Sports News 10.30 World
Business Report 11.00 News
11.06 BBC World Hacks 11.30 In
the Studio 12.00 News 12.06am
The Documentary 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
The Documentary 3.00 News
3.06 HARDtalk 3.30 The
Compass 4.00 News 5.00 News
5.06 The Newsroom 5.30 6.00am Click
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Benji B 3.00
Radio 1 Comedy: Niki and
Sammy’s Peachy Podcast 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken
Bruce 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00 Mary
Portas 7.30 BBC Radio 2 Folk
Awards 2018 9.00 Suzi Perry
10.00 Memphis & Martin Luther
King: “They Wouldn’t Treat Me
Like a Man” 11.00 Lost Boy: In
Search of Nick Drake 12.00 Pick
of the Pops 2.00am Radio 2
Playlists: Country Playlist 3.00
Radio 2 Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio
2 Playlist: Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 6.30am Vanessa Feltz
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Voices of the First World
War
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: Tommies
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 Inconspicuous
Consumption
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Sketchtopia
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. Arts
programme
7.45 A Book of Middle Eastern
Food
8.00 Unreliable Evidence
8.45 TBA
9.00 Costing the Earth
9.30 Soul Music
9.59 Weather
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Sophie Willan’s Guide to
Normality
11.15 pm The John Moloney
Show
11.30 FM: The Digital Human
12.00 FM: News; Weather
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schumann
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert.
2.00 Afternoon Concert
3.30 Choral Evensong. From
the Chapel of Keble
College, Oxford with
director of music
Matthew Martin, organist
Robert Quinney, and
organ scholar Aine
Kennedy
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
10.45 The Essay: The Book That
Changed Me
11.00 Late Junction
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 Soul Music See Pick of
the week
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Factfulness
10.00 Woman’s Hour
10.56 The Listening Project
11.00 Davy Crockett and the
Irish Frontiersmen
11.30 Big Problems with Helen
Keen
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.57 Weather
Sue 5.00 Ring Around the Bath
5.30 It’s Not What You Know
6.00 Hothouse 6.30 The Tingle
Factor 7.00 The Navy Lark 7.30
Round the Horne 8.00 Brother
Cadfael: The Virgin in the Ice
8.30 Target Practice 9.00 The
Time Being 9.15 HMS Surprise
10.00 It’s Not What You Know
10.30 2525 11.00 As Told to
Craig Brown 11.30 The
Consultants 12.00 Hothouse
12.30am The Tingle Factor 1.00
Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in
the Ice 1.30 Target Practice 2.00
The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45 On
Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3.00 Anna Karenina 4.00 The
Write Stuff 4.30 Life, Death and
Sex with Mike and Sue 5.00
Ring Around the Bath 5.30 6.00am It’s Not What You Know
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Anna Foster 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5
Live Sport: Champions League
Football 2017-18 10.30 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Morning Reports 5.15 6.00am Wake Up to Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
Soul Music: Dr Martin Luther
King Radio 4, 9.00am
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Factfulness
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 6.30 Target
Practice 7.00 Ring Around the
Bath 7.30 It’s Not What You
Know 8.00 The Navy Lark 8.30
Round the Horne 9.00 The
Write Stuff 9.30 Life, Death and
Sex with Mike and Sue 10.00
Anna Karenina 11.00 The Time
Being 11.15 HMS Surprise 12.00
The Navy Lark 12.30pm Round
the Horne 1.00 Brother Cadfael:
The Virgin in the Ice 1.30 Target
Practice 2.00 The Essex Serpent
2.15 Disability: A New History
2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Anna Karenina
4.00 The Write Stuff 4.30 Life,
Death and Sex with Mike and
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Jane Jones presents
highlights from last night’s Best
of British concert at the Royal
Albert Hall, featuring the Royal
Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra
10.00 Smooth Classics 1.00 6.00am Sam Pittis
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 News
9.06 The Documentary 10.00
World Update 11.00 The
Newsroom 11.30 Documentary
12.00 News 12.06pm Outlook
1.00 The Newsroom 1.30 The
Compass 2.00 Newshour 3.00
News 3.06 HARDtalk 3.30
World Business Report 4.00
BBC OS 6.00 News 6.06
Outlook 7.00 The Newsroom
7.30 Sport Today 8.00 News
8.06 The Compass 8.30
Healthcheck 9.00 Newshour
10.00 The Newsroom 10.20
Sports News 10.30 World
Business Report 11.00 News
11.06 HARDtalk 11.30
Documentary 12.00 News
12.06am The Thought Show
1.00 News 1.06 Business
Matters 2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 Documentary
3.00 News 3.06 The Inquiry
3.30 The Food Chain 4.00 News
5.00 News 5.06 The Newsroom
5.30 - 6.00am Healthcheck
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 31 March 2018
***
Thursday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 BBC
Radio 1’s Residency: TQD 12.00
BBC Radio 1’s Residency: Jubilee
1.00am Toddla T 3.00 Radio 1
Comedy: Ray Moss No Stone
Unturned 4.00 - 6.30am Radio
1’s Early Breakfast Show with
Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken
Bruce 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright in the
Afternoon 5.00 Mary Portas
7.00 Bob Harris Country 8.00
Ana Matronic 10.00 The Radio 2
Arts Show with Anneka Rice
12.00 The Craig Charles House
Party 2.00am Radio 2’s Tracks
of My Years Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Have A Great Weekend
4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Feelgood
Friday 5.00 - 6.30am Vanessa
Feltz
Friday
3.00 Open Country
3.27 Radio 4 Appeal
3.30 Bookclub
4.00 The Film Programme
4.30 BBC Inside Science
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
the Galaxy: Hexagonal
Phase
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. A round-up of
arts news and reviews
7.45 A Book of Middle Eastern
Food
8.00 The Briefing Room
8.30 In Business
9.00 BBC Inside Science
9.30 In Our Time
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Beef and Dairy Network
See Pick of the week
11.30 The Digital Human
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Factfulness
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schumann
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. The Castalian
String Quartet perform
Haydn and Schumann as
part of the New Town
Concert series at the
Queen’s Hall, Edinburgh
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: The Book That
Changed Me
11.00 Late Junction
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 In Our Time
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Factfulness
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Crossing Continents
11.30 Double-Talk
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Voices of the First World
War
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: Holbein’s Skull
51
Show 8.00 Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 8.30 100 Years
of the Royal Flying Corps 9.00
The Bad Boy 9.15 HMS Surprise
10.00 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
the Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
10.30 Sketchorama 11.00
Masala FM 11.30 Bleak
Expectations 12.00 Hothouse
12.30am Great Lives 1.00
Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in
the Ice 1.30 100 Years of the
Royal Flying Corps 2.00 The
Essex Serpent 2.15 Disability: A
New History 2.30 The Old
Curiosity Shop 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Anna Karenina 4.00 Listomania
4.30 HR 5.00 North by
Northamptonshire 5.30 6.00am The Hitchhiker’s Guide
to the Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Anna Foster 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5
Live Sport 8.00 5 Live Formula 1
8.30 At Home with Colin Murray
9.00 5 Live Golf: The Masters
10.00 Phil Williams 1.00am Up
All Night 5.00 Morning Reports
5.15 - 6.00am Wake Up to
Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
Beef and Dairy Network:
Benjamin Partridge R4, 11.00pm
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 6.30 100 Years
of the Royal Flying Corps 7.00
North by Northamptonshire
7.30 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
the Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
8.00 Marriage Lines 8.30 The
Goon Show 9.00 Listomania
9.30 HR 10.00 Anna Karenina
11.00 The Bad Boy 11.15 HMS
Surprise 12.00 Marriage Lines
12.30pm The Goon Show 1.00
Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in
the Ice 1.30 100 Years of the
Royal Flying Corps 2.00 The
Essex Serpent 2.15 Disability: A
New History 2.30 The Old
Curiosity Shop 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Anna Karenina 4.00 Listomania
4.30 HR 5.00 North by
Northamptonshire 5.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
Hexagonal Phase 6.00
Hothouse 6.30 Great Lives 7.00
Marriage Lines 7.30 The Goon
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Catherine Bott
celebrates the life and recordings
of the Austrian conductor
Herbert von Karajan, featuring
pieces by Rossini, Beethoven and
Felix Mendelssohn 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00 - 6.00am Jane
Jones
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 News
9.06 The Thought Show 10.00
World Update 11.00 The
Newsroom 11.30 The Food
Chain 12.00 News 12.06pm
Outlook 1.00 The Newsroom
1.30 Assignment 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06 The
Inquiry 3.30 World Business
Report 4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News
6.06 Outlook 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 Assignment
8.30 Science in Action 9.00
Newshour 10.00 The Newsroom
10.20 Sports News 10.30 World
Business Report 11.00 News
11.06 The Inquiry 11.30 The Food
Chain 12.00 The Real Story
1.00am News 1.06 Business
Matters 2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 Assignment
3.00 News 3.06 HARDtalk 3.30
World Football 4.00 News 5.00
News 5.06 The Newsroom 5.30
- 6.00am Science in Action
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 The
Official Chart with MistaJam
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 BBC Radio
1’s Dance Anthems with
MistaJam 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00
Kolsch 11.00 Danny Howard
1.00am B.Traits 4.00 - 6.00am
Radio 1’s Essential Mix
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken
Bruce 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright in the
Afternoon 5.00 Mary Portas
7.00 Tony Blackburn’s Golden
Hour 8.00 Friday Night Is Music
Night See Pick of the week
10.00 Sounds of the 80s 12.00
Anneka Rice: The Happening
2.00am Radio 2’s Funky Soul
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
New to 2 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
21st Century Songs 5.00 6.00am Huey on Saturday
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schumann
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. Three String
Quartets perform a
selection of works from
the New Town Concert
series at the Queen’s Hall,
Edinburgh. Presented by
Gareth Williams
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 The Verb
10.45 The Essay: The Book That
Changed Me
11.00 Music Planet
1.00 - 7.00am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.15 The Reunion
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Factfulness
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Up Close and Personal
11.30 When the Dog Dies
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.56 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Voices of the First World
War
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: Love Me Tender
3.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time
Front Row: presenter Kirsty
Lang Radio 4, 7.15pm
3.45 Short Works
4.00 Last Word
4.30 Feedback
4.55 The Listening Project
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Now Show
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. Arts and
culture programme,
featuring news,
interviews and reviews
7.45 A Book of Middle Eastern
Food
8.00 Any Questions?. Topical
discussion, chaired by
Jonathan Dimbleby
8.50 A Point of View
9.00 Home Front Omnibus
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Great Lives
11.30 Ramblings
11.55 The Listening Project
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Factfulness
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 - 6.00am iPM
and Out of the Kitchen 10.30
The Show What You Wrote
11.00 Kevin Eldon Will See You
Now 11.30 A Look Back at the
Nineties 12.00 Hothouse
12.30am Mastertapes 1.00
Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in
the Ice 1.30 Arvon Turns 40
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45 On
Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3.00 Anna Karenina 4.00 The
Motion Show 4.30 Kathmandu
or Bust 5.00 The Stanley Baxter
Playhouse 5.30 - 6.00am In and
Out of the Kitchen
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
Chiles on Friday 1.00pm The
Friday Sports Panel 2.00
Kermode and Mayo’s Film
Review 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5
Live Sport: The Friday Football
Social 9.00 5 Live Golf: The
Masters 10.00 Stephen Nolan
1.00am Up All Night 5.00 5 Live
Boxing with Costello & Bunce
5.30 - 6.00am Under the
Weather
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00
Smooth Classics at Seven
8.00 The Full Works Concert.
As Patrick Doyle celebrates his
65th birthday, Catherine Bott
dedicates the programme to
him. Tracks include Murder on
the Orient Express Suite, and
Cinderella – Dances 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Katie
Breathwick 4.00 - 7.00am Jane
Jones
Radio 4 Extra
World Service
6.00am Brother Cadfael: The
Virgin in the Ice 6.30 Arvon
Turns 40 7.00 The Stanley
Baxter Playhouse 7.30 In and
Out of the Kitchen 8.00 I’m
Sorry I’ll Read That Again 8.30
Brothers in Law 9.00 The
Motion Show 9.30 Kathmandu
or Bust 10.00 Anna Karenina
11.00 Podcast Radio Hour 12.00
I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again
12.30pm Brothers in Law 1.00
Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in
the Ice 1.30 Arvon Turns 40
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45 On
Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3.00 Anna Karenina 4.00 The
Motion Show 4.30 Kathmandu
or Bust 5.00 The Stanley Baxter
Playhouse 5.30 In and Out of
the Kitchen 6.00 Hothouse
6.30 Mastertapes 7.00 I’m Sorry
I’ll Read That Again 7.30
Brothers in Law 8.00 Brother
Cadfael: The Virgin in the Ice
8.30 Arvon Turns 40 9.00
Podcast Radio Hour 10.00 In
6.00am Newsday 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 The
Real Story 10.00 World Update
11.00 The Newsroom 11.30
World Football 12.00 News
12.06pm The 5th Floor 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 Heart and
Soul 2.00 Newshour 3.00 News
3.06 Tech Tent 3.30 World
Business Report 4.00 BBC
OS 6.00 News 6.06 The 5th
Floor 7.00 The Newsroom 7.30
Sport Today 8.00 News 8.06
Trending 8.30 CrowdScience
9.00 Newshour 10.00 The
Newsroom 10.20 Sports News
10.30 World Business Report
11.00 News 11.06 HARDtalk
11.30 World Football 12.00
News 12.06am From Our Own
Correspondent 12.30
CrowdScience 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 Heart and Soul 3.00 News
3.06 Global Business 3.30
Stumped 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Boston Calling
Digital only
Digital only
52
***
Saturday 31 March 2018 The Daily Telegraph
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