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SCARLETT
JO
SON
GWYNETH
PALTROW
NUDE!
TOPLESS!
APR 16-30, 2018
$5.95 NZ $5.99
TOO R
ANGELA
WHITE!
AS HARDCORE
AS IT GETS
They’re big trouble
in the bedroom
WICKED!
AUSTRALIA’S
NAUGHTIEST
STUDENT
STRIPS!
EXPOSED!
JENNIFER
LAWRENCE
NIP-SLIP!
START
MISS
AMERICAN
PIE
Don McLean’s making music
with this sweet piece!
A
T THE age of 72, Seppo
music veteran Don
McLean – who gave
us that well-worn 1971
FM radio favourite American Pie
– seems to be well aware that
THIS, or any day, could be the
DAY that he DIES.
So after his 2016 divorce,
instead of just drowning his
sorrows by drinking WHISKY AND
RYE, the GOOD OL’ BOY decided
to drive his CHEVY into the much
younger LEVEE of Paris Dylan,
a 24-year-old ex-Playboy model.
They say you’re only as old as
the woman you FEEL, so The Don
must only feel a THIRD of his AGE!
California gal Paris describes
herself as a superfan: “I have to
watch my Don McLean videos at
least three times a day.”
So she has a taste for old farts,
but NO TASTE in music.
CONTENTS
TALK TO US
BY MAIL:
GPO Box 4088, Sydney, NSW 2001
BY EMAIL:
people@bauer-media.com.au
BY PHONE:
(02) 9288 9686
FACEBOOK:
aussiepeople
TWITTER:
PeopleOz
Readers:
please note
our new PO
box address.
46
08 FULL FRONTAL
12 SUPER-BABES OF
‘AVENGERS 3’
14 PORN WATCH
16 NEWS TO US
18 BAAAAAD GIRLS!
26 ANIMAL HOUSE
64
28
33
40
44
50
51
68
THE CENTREFOLD
BRAIN GAMES
T&Cs
FUNNY SHIT
GIZ!
MODEL CITIZENS
TRUE BLUE
WICKED WOMAN
How can Angela White be so BAD, yet so GOOD?!
PHOTOS BY ANGELAWHITE.COM
USSIE porn queen
Angela White has
done many WICKED
acts during her
X-rated career. But one of the
most EVIL things we ever saw
– especially as we’re on DIETS
– was when she used ice-cream
in one of her scenes!
Which prompted us to ask
the 33-year-old her fave flavour.
“I don’t discriminate – I love
all ice-cream equally,” she
said. “I also like to enhance
my ice-cream experience by
5
WICKED WOMAN
6
‘I HAD NO
IDEA I COULD
SQUIRT’
adding a spoonful of peanut
butter and Nutella or sprinkle on
M&Ms or smashed Snickers bars.”
Just as our TUMMIES began
rumbling loudly, Ang chose to sink
in the high-heeled boot: “I also like
to combine it with savoury food.
I love vanilla ice-cream with BACON
BITS and French fries, or putting
a scoop on a STEAK or on top of
deep-fried chicken and waffles.
I’m as adventurous with my food
as I am with SEX.”
Fuck us drunk! We put on 10
kilos just listening to her talk about
it! In desperation, we turned the
conversation to something less
fattening…like SQUIRTING.
“The first time I ever squirted
was on camera when I was 26. It
was in a scene with Ramon Nomar
in Angela Loves Men. The camera
pans up to my face after it
happens and you can see I’m in
shock. I had no idea I could squirt
and I look completely AMAZED and
disorientated. It’s one of my
personal and career highlights.”
We bet she celebrated afterwards
with a bowl of ice-cream. Not that
we’re jealous or anything.
7
The latess t in nudity from around the globe !
EYE SPY
SEEN A RIINA?
NICE CHARLIES
WOWZAS! Polish-Canadian model Charlie Riina
has appeared in Playboy, Esquire and Vogue, but
our fave pics of the 34-year-old are in her new
photo book, the creatively titled Charlie Riina Book.
It features nothing but pictures of Ms Riina in
various states of UNDRESS, snapped by fashion
shutterbug Jonathan Leder. Grab your copy at
www.imperial-publishing.com…or just perv on the
pix here for FREE.
RUDE SPARROW
DOING a press tour for your new movie can be bloody EXHAUSTING.
You’ve gotta do interviews, talk show appearances AND red carpet
premieres. So we’re gonna forgive Jennifer Lawrence for not keeping
track of her RIGHT AREOLA at a recent premiere of her latest spy
thriller, Red Sparrow.
8
SHARING
THE LOVE
The freshest flesh on
celebrity social media
TOOL TIME
Hungarian model Barbara Palvin, 24, posted an
Instagram video of see-through outtakes from
a recent shoot, so we figured we’d share the best
frame with you.
THE GOOD WOOD
HAILING from Santa Cruz, California,
Kristen Carpenter is a 33-year-old actrine
that we wished we’d heard of sooner. A few
years back, she played the love interest in
a couple of Enrique Iglesias music vids,
but she didn’t get STARKERS in them.
She DOES ditch the duds in Seppo teevee
show, The Good Fight, however.
Thanks to the internet, 34-year-old model Sara
Jean Underwood now crowd-funds her barebummed world travels and shares beaut snaps
like this with her supporters.
9
FULL FRONTAL
MODEL
MAMS
GOT YOUR NUMBER
NOMES’
DOMES
COCAINE and champagne has gotta be the secret
to everlasting youth. Pomgolian supermodel Naomi
Campbell turns 48 next month, but she doesn’t
look a day over 25, does she? She’s showing her
PERT PAPS on the April cover of the high-end
fashion mag Numéro.
GARRN SHOW
US YA TITS!
KRAUT clotheshorse Toni Garrn is mostly famous for being a former
FUCK-BUDDY of Leonardo DiCaprio. We don’t think that’s fair on the
25-year-old, ’cos she should be famous just for the fact that she’s a
DROP-DEAD STUNNA. She was snapped recently getting the BUOYS
out for some sun in Miami, Florida.
10
SHE’S GOTTA
RABBIT
ORIGINALLY from Latvia, Olga de Mar
moved to Italy at 18 to kick-start her
modelling career. Beautly, the 27-year-old’s
not afraid to delve into the NEKKIDER side
of the biz, as evidenced by this KINKY
Easter bunny shoot she did for Portuguese
digital mag Insomnia.
HONEY BUNNY
ALYSSIA KENT
WE KNEW we liked Alyssia Kent when we saw all the outstanding
DILDO work she did in her first LESBOTIC flick, Perfect Pink Debut.
But we truly fell in love with the KENT when she gave up her arse
in 2018’s Anal High Flyers. It was also the 26-year-old Romanian’s
INTERRACIAL debut.
11
SIMPLY SUPER!
ZOE
SALDANA
Gamora
GAMORA is a
sworn enemy of evil
Thanos, but to complicate
matters she’s also his
DAUGHTER. We suspect
she has “daddy issues”.
Thankfully, Zoe had NO
ISSUES stripping for
Women’s Health.
SCARLETT
JOHANNSON
Black Widow
FARK – we’ve had
a ton of wet dreams
over Scar-Jo in her
leather jumpsuit as Soviet
super-spy Black Widow…
especially when she
showed us what was
BENEATH it in 2013’s
Under The Skin.
KERRY
CONDON
F.R.I.D.A.Y.
SADLY, we don’t
see crackerjack Kerry
in this fillum; she merely
voices the computer
invented by Tony Stark. It’s
a pity ’cos there’s nothing
ARTIFICIAL about Kezza’s
bod, as seen in TV’s
Rome (2005-07).
POM
KLEMENTIEFF
Mantis
SHE played Mantis
– the alien with feelers
on her head – in the
second GOTG flick…and
we were keen to cop a
FEEL of Pom’s paps when
she flashed bosom at a
Golden Globes party in
Hollywood in 2015.
GWYNETH
PALTROW
Pepper Potts
PEPPER might
stick to sensible
business suits in the
various Iron Man and
Avengers movies she
appears in, but Gwyn was
happy to show us
EVERYTHING in arty
2003 film Sylvia.
We unmask the sexy babes from
‘Avengers: Infinity War’
T
HE latest and greatest Marvel superhero
s
blockbuster, Avengers: Infinity War, hits
Aussie cinemas on April 25 and we’re
more excited than A BAG OF DICKS
IN A BROTHEL at the prospect of seeing The
Avengers, Guardians Of The Galaxy, Dr Strange,
Black Panther and Spider-Man take on the
galactic super-villain Thanos.
It’s gonna be a bone-crunching, explosionsfilled (and bladder-destroying) 156 minutes off
big-screen brilliance!
Oh…and there are a ton of hot chicks in
tight cossies to keep us horny fellas interested
as well. Here are six of the finest femmes the
fillum has to offer.
ERECTIONS ASSEMBLE!
KAREN
GILLAN
Nebula
SHE’S the GOTG
bad gal turned good,
but before she shaved her
head and painted her face
blue, Brit babe Kaz had
long hair – and NO
CLOTHES ON – in 2013
romcom Not Another
Happy Ending.
PORN WATCH Our no-holes-barred round-up of adult entertainment
TRIPLE-X TWITTER
The cream of the
adult film world tell
us what (and who)
they’re doing!
TO
THRILL
MIX wonky sci-fi malarkey
with some very HORNY
SEX-BOTS carrying
FUCK-OFF HUGE GUNS
and what do you get?
A piping hot plate of
ROOTING ACTION topped
with some sticky white
bodily fluids.
Yep, Girls With Guns
is more fun than playing
nude table tennis with
a blind monkey! Er…
so we’ve heard.
The plot involves
a dodgy government
department that’s trying
to hide a dirty secret:
women are being
kidnapped, then
turned into living
lethal weapons.
But what happens
when these armed and
deadly babes are
unleashed by a hacker
on the bastards who
made them?
Expect a lot of
gunplay, foreplay
and all-round
FUCKERY from the
lusty likes of Giselle
Palmer (right) and
Kenzie Reeves (left).
GIRLS
WITH GUNS
Starring: Giselle
Palmer, Kenzie
Reeves, Alyssia
Kent, Tina Kay
Made by: Digital
Playground
Release date:
out now
‘You know the sex
is good if you both
start following
each other on
Twitter after.’
– @danadearmond
‘Gym whore by day,
dick-suckin’ bimbo
by night.’
– @KatDiorOfficial
MEET THE MILF MINDI MINK
BORN: December 4, 1968 in Rome, Italy
STATS: 34DD-25-36
QUICK FACTS: Mindi was in the construction
business when she decided to become a webcam
gal at the ripe old age of 45. She proved so popular
that she quickly entered the jizness proper: “I told
fans I’m all for doing the girl/girl thing. I’ve been
bisexual my whole life, so it was a good way to have
an outlet and have those experiences.”
STARS IN: DID YOU WET THE BED? Neighborhood
Bush Watch 2, Lesbian Big Booty Lovers
HOW’S YOUR FELLA COPE WITH YOUR CAREER?
“He’s not allowed to be on-set once filming starts
but he’s watched me in our personal life. When we
first had sex, he told me I was made or porn
and should be in front of the camer . In o
personal lives, I’ve been with a few g ls and
he’s watched. He’s a total voyeur. Ha a.”
WHAT TURNS YOU ON? “I love kiss
…it really gets my juices flowing.Tha
and someone tickling me…in a stro ing,
running-their-hands-all-over-my-bod way.
That gives me chills and I get verrrrr ry
wet from that.”
DO YOU ENJOY BEING A COUGAR
“I love the fact that young guys are ot for
me and guys my age appreciate m so
much. It feels wonderful!”
‘You know my
#PornLife so well!
Always fucking
waiting for the
cocks to arrive
for my ass!’
– @TinaKayxxx
The Sights, the Sounds, the
Memories of Coca-Cola for All Time!
•
•
•
•
•
Recaptures the look of an authentic 1950s Coca-Cola®
vending machine in fascinating detail
Precision timepiece features accurate quartz movement,
Coke® bottle weights and a Coke bottle cap pendulum
On the hour, the clock face illuminates with neon-look
LED lights, a Coke bottle appears and the “pop, fizz” of
opening a Coke bottle sounds
Distinctive, officially licensed collectable clock showcases
nostalgic Coca-Cola logos, artwork and lettering plus a
sculpted coin return and bottle opener
Includes a hand-numbered Certificate of Authenticity
Recapturing the look of a
vintage Coca-Cola vending
machine, this substantial
clock blends 50s-era style
with modern quartz-accurate
timekeeping features!
Over
50cm
Tall!
For quickest delivery, order online:
www.bradford.com.au/coke
Quoting promotion code:
98050
©2018 The Bradford Exchange Ltd. A.B.N. 13 003 159 617
01-16481-001
PAY NOTHING NOW
THE BRADFORD EXCHANGE
Clock shown much smaller than
actual size of about
50cm H x 19cm. W. x 10cm D.
Requires 2“D” batteries and
1 “AA” battery, not included;
3-way switch on side.
Please Respond Promptly
YES! Please reserve the “Coca-Cola® Vending Machine” for me as
described in this advertisement. I understand I need pay nothing now.
Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms ____ First Name: ____________________________
Surname:_______________________________________________
Your satisfaction is
guaranteed!
Act now to acquire the “Coca-Cola
Time for Refreshment Vending
Machine Clock” in five instalments
of $59.99 or $299.95 plus $19.99
postage and handling. Your
purchase is risk-free, backed by
our 365-day guarantee. Send no
money now. Just mail the coupon
or go online today at
www.bradford.com.au/coke
Address: _______________________________________________
____________________________________ Postcode: __________
Phone: ________________________________________________
Email: _________________________________________________
Signature: ______________________________________________
1. ONLINE at www.bradford.com.au/coke
quoting promotion code: 98050
2. MAIL no stamp required, to: The Bradford Exchange,
Reply Paid 86369 Parramatta NSW 2124
Coca-Cola Graphics © The Coca-Cola Company, COCA-COLA,
COKE, the Contour Bottle design, and the Red Disc Icon are
trademarks of The Coca-Cola Company. All Rights Reserved.
Distributed by The Bradford Exchange.
3. PHONE: Toll-Free 1300 725 103
8am-5pm Mon – Fri
Please allow up to 10 business days for delivery. All sales subject to product availability and reservation acceptance. Credit
criteria may apply. Our privacy policy is available online at www.bradford.com.au. You must be over 18 years old to apply.
From time to time, we may allow carefully screened companies to contact you. If you would prefer not to receive such offers,
please tick this box. ❑
NEWS TO US We present another dose of weirdness from around the world
BULL-SHITTER!
WITH all their prancing and spangly tights, it’s fair odds that matadors like it up the ARSE – but
not like THIS! Bastard bull-teaser Andy Younes, 20, copped a HORN up the BLURTER performing
in front of his home crowd in Arles, France. Amazingly, despite his ENLARGED STARFISH, he was
able to continue killing innocent bovines later in the day. What an ARSEHOLE, eh?
16
CARNIVAL
OF COCKS
EVERY spring, PENIS-LOVERS from around the world HANG OUT
for two days in Kawasaki, Japan to celebrate the Festival Of The
Steel Phallus. It’s a massive fertility celebration where the
MIGHTY PEEN is RIGHTLY HONOURED with street processions
featuring WANG-SHAPED sculptures, cossies and even
LOLLIPOPS. Er, we’ll pass on SUCKING on one of those…
It’s behind
me, isn’t it?
T-WRECKED!
VISITORS to the Royal Gorge Dinosaur Experience in southern
Colorado got more than their money’s worth when a robotic
seven-metre Tyrannosaurus Rex burst into FLAMES before their
very eyes. The company says it was due to an electrical issue,
but it looks more like an act of GODZILLA to us.
17
TOUGH MUFFS
girls
These spunks are mad, bad and
dangerously sexy to know!
LILIANE
TIGER
THROUGH
HISSTORY
BOUDICA
18
British legend Boudica put
the wind up the Roman
invaders when she led an
uprising in 60-61AD and
almost managed to throw the
Eyeties out of Ol’ Blighty. But
they lost badly in the end,
inspiring crap Pommy cricket
teams 2000 years later.
VERONIKA
FASTEROVA
THROUGH
HISSTORY
COUNTESS
ELIZABETH BATHORY
Countess Elizabeth Báthory
(1560-1614) terrorised
Hungary by killing 650 chicks
and bathing in their blood…
we assume it was some
kinda New Age-ish attempt
to stay young. Liz finally got
punished for her despicable
crimes and was locked in
a windowless room for
five years till she died.
KATRINA
JADE
THROUGH
HISSTORY
LIZZIE BORDEN
Seppo psycho Lizzie Borden
(1860-1927) became
notorious for allegedly axing
her dad and stepmum to
death, but was acquitted
of their murders. Some
investigators think Lizzie
murdered the olds after they
caught her GROWLING out
the maid. Shit happens, eh?
AMARNA
MILLER
SASHA
D.
DOROTHY
BLACK
THROUGH
HISSTORY
BONNIE PARKER
Tracey and Dean may have
seemed like a wicked couple
on MAFS, but they were
wimps compared to Yank
bank robbers Bonnie Parker
(1910-34) and Clyde Barrow.
They ran wild for years before
the cops finally ambushed
the murderous duo, pumping
50 bullets into their bodies.
Guess you can say Bon died
of LEAD POISONING.
BRITTANY
DELLA
DANE
THROUGH
HISSTORY
TILLY DIVINE
Vicious Sydney crime boss
Tilly Divine (1900-70) was
known as The Queen Of
Woolloomooloo, running the
illegal booze and prossie
rackets with her deadly razor
gangs slashing anyone who
got in their way. She feuded
for 30 years with fellow crime
lord Kate Leigh, but somehow
managed to retire and die
of OLD AGE. Not bad for
a crim, eh?
ALINA
LI
22
THROUGH
HISSTORY
RONDA ROUSEY
Ronda Rousey was a tough,
bad chick through and
through. The 2008 Olympic
bronze medallist in judo
became a UFC champion,
ripping off her opponents’
arms with ease. That was
until she got punched in the
face by Holly Holm in 2015,
lost her title and eventually
called it quits. She’s now
a WWE wrestler.
LEIGH
RAVEN
RITA
G.
KATYA
CLOVER
THROUGH
HISSTORY
KOBE
KAIGE
GABI GRECKO
Gabi Grecko was constantly
in the headlines in 2015
when she married fossilised
Geoffrey Edelsten and turned
up NUDE every-fuckin’-where!
We miss Gabi now she’s
moved back to the USA,
though she still regularly
posts saucy snaps of herself
on social media.
The Sights, the Sounds, the
Memories of Coca-Cola for All Time!
•
•
•
•
•
Recaptures the look of an authentic 1950s Coca-Cola®
vending machine in fascinating detail
Precision timepiece features accurate quartz movement,
Coke® bottle weights and a Coke bottle cap pendulum
On the hour, the clock face illuminates with neon-look
LED lights, a Coke bottle appears and the “pop, fizz” of
opening a Coke bottle sounds
Distinctive, officially licensed collectable clock showcases
nostalgic Coca-Cola logos, artwork and lettering plus a
sculpted coin return and bottle opener
Includes a hand-numbered Certificate of Authenticity
Recapturing the look of a
vintage Coca-Cola vending
machine, this substantial
clock blends 50s-era style
with modern quartz-accurate
timekeeping features!
Over
50cm
Tall!
For quickest delivery, order online:
www.bradford.com.au/coke
Quoting promotion code:
98050
©2018 The Bradford Exchange Ltd. A.B.N. 13 003 159 617
01-16481-001
PAY NOTHING NOW
THE BRADFORD EXCHANGE
Clock shown much smaller than
actual size of about
50cm H x 19cm. W. x 10cm D.
Requires 2“D” batteries and
1 “AA” battery, not included;
3-way switch on side.
Please Respond Promptly
YES! Please reserve the “Coca-Cola® Vending Machine” for me as
described in this advertisement. I understand I need pay nothing now.
Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms ____ First Name: ____________________________
Surname:_______________________________________________
Your satisfaction is
guaranteed!
Act now to acquire the “Coca-Cola
Time for Refreshment Vending
Machine Clock” in five instalments
of $59.99 or $299.95 plus $19.99
postage and handling. Your
purchase is risk-free, backed by
our 365-day guarantee. Send no
money now. Just mail the coupon
or go online today at
www.bradford.com.au/coke
Address: _______________________________________________
____________________________________ Postcode: __________
Phone: ________________________________________________
Email: _________________________________________________
Signature: ______________________________________________
1. ONLINE at www.bradford.com.au/coke
quoting promotion code: 98050
2. MAIL no stamp required, to: The Bradford Exchange,
Reply Paid 86369 Parramatta NSW 2124
Coca-Cola Graphics © The Coca-Cola Company, COCA-COLA,
COKE, the Contour Bottle design, and the Red Disc Icon are
trademarks of The Coca-Cola Company. All Rights Reserved.
Distributed by The Bradford Exchange.
3. PHONE: Toll-Free 1300 725 103
8am-5pm Mon – Fri
Please allow up to 10 business days for delivery. All sales subject to product availability and reservation acceptance. Credit
criteria may apply. Our privacy policy is available online at www.bradford.com.au. You must be over 18 years old to apply.
From time to time, we may allow carefully screened companies to contact you. If you would prefer not to receive such offers,
please tick this box. ❑
WIN!
ANIMAL HOUSE
$20 LETTERS
IRELAND
LOVIN’
MY MATE Damo reckons he
has seen a porno with 90s
supermodel Kathy Ireland
(left) in it. Things got
heated, I told him he was full
of shit and now we’ve bet
$50 on it. You guys seem to
be the experts at this stuff.
He’s off his rocker, yeah?
Steve, WA
Tell Damo he’s totally OFF
HIS TROLLEY. Kathy Ireland
famously wouldn’t even get
NUDE in a photo, so she
definitely didn’t get FUCKED in
a stick flick. Maybe he got her
confused with 90s mattress
actress, Kylie Ireland (right)?
Anyway… can you lend us that
pineapple till payday?
THINGS THAT LOOK LIKE
GENITALS
“MY MISSUS was going to a fancy
dress party as the Mother of
Dragons,” writes Joe of Kingsford,
NSW, “but I told her she looked like
a dick.” For that, she probably won’t
be going near yours any time soon!
KATH OR
KYLZ?
Send your letters and pics to: The
Keeper, c/- Animal House, People
magazine, GPO Box 4088, Sydney,
NSW 2001. Or email us at people@
bauer-media.com.au (with Animal
House in the subject line).
SHAGGY TALES
IT’S JUST NOT CRICKET
CAUGHT ON TAPE
$50 PICTURES
Have you lot seen
the shocking new
images of Cameron
Bancroft’s cricket
kit that have just
emerged?
Jakey, NZ
Yings! You can say
what you want about
our Australian Test
team, Jakey, but at
least they’ve got
some GRIT.
SCOOBY,
DON’T!
AFTER watching Scooby-Doo,
I realised the gang’s always on
the hunt for ghosts, ghouls and
monsters, but they don’t even
realise the most supernatural thing
is happening right in front of them:
a TALKING DOG.
JP, NSW
There’s a theory that Scooby-Doo’s
D
actu
folk
iden
And
gott
it if
us
kids
PILLOW
THAT SEW?
TALK
Editor
James Cooney
News editor
Dan Lennard
Designer-in-chief
Tony Halpin
Designers
Darren Monaghan,
Chantelle Galaz
Picture editor
Kristi Bartlett
Editorial co-ordinator
Emily Rattenbury
National sales manager
Patrick Campbell
Publisher
Andrew Stedwell
CEO
Paul Dykzeul
I RECENTLY acquired a People
T-shirt that, unfortunately, was
too small. Not wanting to waste
it, I decided to make the world’s
first People pillow! It’s great to
use while I read my favourite mag
– or nestled under my girlfriend’s
butt while we’re SHAGGING!
JZ, CANADA
That pillow is almost too good to
root on! Unless you’ve also made
it WATERPROOF. You probably
have, JZ. That’s the great thing
about People readers. They’re
CAN-DO folk.
READER
FINDS
DADDS’
VADGE?
SOME might say I
spent way too much
time slowing down
Alexandra Daddario’s
scene in TV drama
True Detective. It’s
taken me a while,
but I finally have the
brightened image that
I wanna share with
you all. Behold,
Alexandra’s moot!
Rizza, Vic
You’re a bit of a true
detective yourself,
Rizza, and you deserve
a round of applause.
We clearly have the
best – and MOST
PERVERTED – readers
in Australia!
Published by Bauer Media, part of the
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ISSN 1449-6690
Please see page 40 for Privacy Notice.
27
THE CENTREFOLD
LIL’ MISS MORGAN | 19 | MELBOURNE, VIC
Melbourne
model lets it all
hang out in the
great outdoors!
PHOTOS BY ISHOOTIMAGES
L
USTY Lil’ Miss Morgan
decided to GO BUSH
for this beaut photo
shoot and we’re very
glad she did. Not surprisingly,
the 19-year-old model and
uni student is a keen fan of
stripping off and chilling
among the trees and flowers.
We passed the Aerogard while
having a quiet chat.
HI MATE. This is our “Bad
Girls” issue, so we have to
ask: are YOU a bad girl?
“I like to think I’m the perfect
mix of sugar and spice, but
I’d much rather be NAUGHTY
than nice.”
What’s the baddest thing
you’ve done?
“The time I gave the guy I was
seeing STEALTH HEAD in the
back of a darkened cinema,
then got so HORNY that I
jumped on and HAD A RIDE
as quietly as possible, I’m
convinced everyone around
us were oblivious, then again
I do get pretty LOUD...”
What rocks your sexual world?
“My fave fucking position would
hands down have to be doggy
style (pun intended). There’s
nothing sexier than getting
sweaty and ANIMALISTIC.”
We dig your tatts. Which one
do you love most?
“I love them all, but if I have
to pick a fave it’d be my first
tatt: my TREE. I got it the day
I turned 18. I’ve always had
‘THERE’S
NOTHING SEXIER
THAN GETTING
SWEATY AND
ANIMALISTIC’
an incredibly strong connection
to nature so it just felt right. Over
time it’s come to remind me to
always stand strong, take a step
back to look at things from a
higher perspective and to have
patience ’cos the best things
come with time. Plus the artist
was extremely HOT, so win-win!”
We noticed you wasting beer
by pouring it down your bod in
this shoot...but we forgive you.
What’s your preferred tipple?
“Hehehe! I wouldn’t consider it
wasted if it was LICKED OFF!
My preferred poison has got
to be a classic Pure Blonde,
otherwise I don’t mind a good
whiskey.”
Best drunken exploit?
“I once drank an ENTIRE BOTTLE
of vodka, then continued to fuck
the life out of the people I was
staying with. It sounds like the
hottest threesome…if only
I could remember it!”
And best hangover cure?
“My favourite method would
be hair of the dog!”
Sounds ruff. Which celebrity
bad boy would you root?
“Don’t get me wrong, my list
of sexy bad boys and ladies to
fuck is extensive, but give me
a piece of actor Jason Momoa
any day. I’d love to FUCK that
Hawaiian god!”
Was it fun getting nekkid
outdoors, Miss?
“I looooovvvvve being NUDE,
especially in nature, ’cos it’s
where I feel most at peace.
I like to spend at least a little
time each day surrounding
myself in nature and being a
green witch. This helps me to
ground myself…and I’m sure
my NEIGHBOURS love it!”
APRIL 30, 2018
Lil’ Miss
CENTREFOLD
‘I GAVE HIM
STEALTH
HEAD IN THE
BACK OF
A CINEMA’
WIN
$1000
BY MODELLING
IN PEOPLE
See pg63 for details
U
N
BO OU
LUL
B
Exercis t e gre matter
and s
0
6
53
7
7
4
104
1
5
7
7
77
1
1
7
04
1
1
2
2
1
21
2
07
205
21
2
2
ens out and off we go, readers!
217
#09
THE BEAST APR 30
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N GAMESS  BR
RAIN GAMEES  BRAIIN GAMES  BRAIIN GA
AMESS 
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ENTER TO WIN!
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143
148
Fill in your name and address together with
a completed and correct Beast crossword
grid and post to: The Beast No. 09,
c/ – People magazine, GPO Box 5507,
Sydney, NSW 2001. Entries close on
Friday, May 11 at 5pm.
138
154
155
135
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158
F
160
161
NAME:
ADDRESS:
POSTCODE:
PHONE:
BRAIN
N GAMESS  BR
RAIN GAMEES  BRAIIN GAMES  BRAIIN GA
AMESS 
OZ’S
BIGGEST
X-WORD
MAXI
Asthmatic’s
aid
Red
stones
Rum-runner
Curve
Address
crowd
Tiny
particle
Paddy
crop
In the
past
Muscle
As well
Penned
Designer
Cheerless
Ancient
Peruvian
Medieval
guitar
Colours
Infrequent
Flesh
Simple
Apex
BRAIN
N GAMESS  BR
RAIN GAMEES  BRAIIN GAMES  BRAIIN GA
AMESS 
Extent
Circle
width
Swelter
~ & gutter
Slips up Pimple
Tempt rash
Stew,
~ bucco
Hurts
Bill
Express
Transmits
Choux
pastry
Spears
Ahead of
time
Nippy
Deviates
Wad
Yielded
Anonymous
Sports Competing
Water
boiler
Library
patrons
Outshine
Quiz
Expectancy
Elude
Publishing
Comes
towards
Fanatical
Congeal
Lower leg
bracelets
Reignited Until (2,2)
Sully
Clumsy
Fierce cat
Robust
Found,
came ~
Date
trees
Lords
Perjurer
Bleat
First
woman
Flan
~ de foie
gras
Because
Mug
Excited
Cattle
sound
Yourself
Dignitary
(1,1,1)
Agent
Filament
Steep
Jet-baths
Mesh
Lug
Stop
Strategic
Likeness
Brass
instrument
Income
Circus
swing
Motives
Piquant
Musical
genius
Light
beam
Elliptic Visualise
Heighten
Cares for
Startle
Strive
Current
units
Rome folk
Auditorium Steadfast
Tiny
island
Exited
Existing
Retrieves
(wreck)
Lovers’
cards
Drove
Eruption
Plant,
~ vera
Caps
Male bee
Memorises
Merriest
Loop
Outlook Lessens
Canadian
province
Utters
Confederate
Carp
Weir
Objective
Rumples
Public
square
Oil cartel
(1,1,1,1)
Badges
Chopper Bonuses
World
leaders
Sector
Spotted
cubes
Taut
Nudist
12
months
Serpents
Enchanted Mete out
Dine
Strange
Wisps
Unfulfilled
Clan
Spontaneous
Striking
Look for
Ocean
phase
Soothe
Heel & ~
Taxi
Wound
scabs
Assert
Major
Egyptian
metropolis
Adrenalin
junkies
Pried
(into)
Anorak
8-piece
groups
Bedouin
Guru
Off the
peg (5-4)
Pastoral
Infested
Lump of
turf
Butt
Duties
Hopes
(to)
Know-all,
smart ~
Dog trainer
Aubergines
Freezing
(3-4)
Mature
Blackboard
stand
Appre- Misdeed
hend
Limits
Shellfish
Outlaw
Arrival
(1,1,1)
Tawny
bird
Veiled
Mimic
Impolitely
Locks
Insult
Docile
Glide on
snow
Catch
He or ~
Behind
Perch
Vocal solo
Map books
I am, we ~
On a high
Speak
slowly
Gun
(engine)
Rally
Specialist
Spent
Allude
Fellow
Adjudicator
Awake
Selfregard
1000ml
Wrath
Orient
Recording
artist Furrows
(3,4)
Become
tedious
Wind
Treatise
Hubbub
~&
senora
Grip
Poem
A la ~
Whistle
blast
Storm
Miss
Camerafriendly
Indexing
~ appetit!
Restoring
Alley
20cwt
Paris
hotel
Cathedral
official
Climbed
Conger
Rowdier
Hank of
wool
Cadence
Alternate
Snooze
Too
young
Prickly
husk
Bugs
Tolerantly
Exclusive Headroom
Anaesthetic
Shady
tree
Tilt
Kind of
duck
Confiscate
Renounced
(throne)
Singer,
~ Pitney
Cow milk
sac
Marijuana
Wall
chart
Some
Youth
Promos
Offer
Gnaws
Touch
Greek
cheese
Adjusted
Focused
Gains
Biblical
garden
Variety
Stripe
Born as
Culinary
delights
Tenanted Emerge Dramatises
Splash Bullfight
(through) cry
Naming
words
Palest
Make
last, ~ out
Ultimate
Babble
Tit for ~
Lunatic
Smoked
pork
Pasture
Fizzy
powder
Liqueur,
~ Maria
Idiot
Coal byproduct
Rectify
Dread
Amidst
Tardy
Layers
In case
Asinine
Shout
Raises by
stages
(5,2)
Journeys
Flower
part
Elephant
group
Tall bird
Factor
Which
Hotshot
Saccharin
Buck’s
mate
Rink
Half-open
Rescind
Famous
volcano
~ dong
dell
Fields
Short
sleep
Secure
Embankment
From
Dublin
Foot lever
Regresses
Litigants
Pesters
Sideways Onto
Oppressed
Gold
purity unit
Set of
links
Clothed
Scolded
Ilk
Thus
Expunge
Flexible
Be in debt
to
Crime
Thrust
TV aerials
Golfing
stroke
Cartoonist
Fully
Salad fish
Gush
Shroud
city
Frozen
Disgust region
Penitence
Sways
Inspects
again (2-8)
Enhancing
Birch
cane
Hunting
trip
Bike
riders
Umbrella
Razor
part
Pauses
Siamese
Excessive
utilisation
Throbs
On & on,
ad ~
Prohibit
US casino
city (3,5)
Constituent
Almond
Outcome
(3,7)
S. Korean
capital
Nook
Aft
Most
famished
Above
Target
Cash
points
(1,1,2)
Telepathy
(1,1,1)
Board
game
Condition
Engaged
Attache
Reshapes
By way of
Japanese Comcurrency ponent
Nativity
gems
Unwinds
Escorts
Early
Mexicans
Comfy
seat (4,5)
Beef cut
(1-4)
Thump
Head
support
Conical
tents
Papa
Ghostly
Crossword
pattern
Scoff
Food
container
Peepers
Perverse
fate
Have
Symbol
Grill
To-do
Inactive
Numero
uno
Shoo!
Question
Requiring
Purpose
Plenty
Shredded
Laughed
like witch
Convent
dweller
Myth
Libyan
capital
Route
Improper
Biro fluid
Swine
Trot
Sanctified
Upbraids
Gyrate
Radio
knob
German
river
Loosen
BRAIN
N GAMESS  BR
RAIN GAMEES  BRAIIN GAMES  BRAIIN GA
AMESS 
Surmise
Helms
Bad
temper
Pertinent TheADA of
Juices
Hide
Wildebeest
Caviar
TURN
PAGE FOR
ENTRY
DETAILS
SEE PAGE 40 FOR
TERMS & CONDITIONS
BRAIN
N GAMESS  BR
RAIN GAMEES  BRAIIN GAMES  BRAIIN GA
AMESS 
WIN $150
FORTNIGHTLY!
The clues in bold relate to
a famous film – the
picture gives you a hint
which one. The first
correct entry drawn
after the closing date
wins the cash!
1
2
3
4
5
11
6
12
13
7
8
14
9
10
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
25
24
26
ACROSS
1. Diminutive
4. Horror film, The Blair Witch –
27
28
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
29
39
40
41
8. Havana product, – cigar
11. Consequence
12. Will Smith political thriller,
– Of The State
15. With 50 across,
Davis Okoye (6,7)
18. Castle prison
19. Ocean’s 11 actor, George –
20. Rock band, – House
21. Map book
23. Fragrance
27. Backspace key function
28. National song
30. With 44 across,
Dr Kate Caldwell (6,6)
31. Australia’s West Coast ocean
32. Helsinki natives
39. Stage work
41. This week’s film.
42. Most deafening
43. Kenyan language
44. See 30 across
45. Antonio Banderas adventure,
The Mask Of –
48. Underground passage
49. Hey Porsche singer
50. See 15 across
51. Related to hearing
DOWN
1. Black Hole Sun and
Spoonman group
42
43
44
49
2. Munitions depot
3. Thieves
5. French street
6. With 29 down, Burke (3,11)
7. Justin Timberlake hit,
– Me A River
8. Cattle herders
9. R&B singer formerly in
Destiny’s Child
10. Destitute
13. Star Trek actor, Leonard –
45
46
47
48
50
51
26. With 22 down,
Claire Wyden (5,7)
29. See 6 down
33. Taking no side
34. Stipulate
35. Cultural pursuits
36. Spanish friend
37. Star Wars villain, Darth –
38. Study table
39. Legendary vampire
40. Arranged in rows
42. Hollywood bad-girl actress,
Lindsay –
45. Scarlett Johansson film,
We Bought A –
46. Cricket score
47. Negotiable (1,1,1)
MOVIECROSS ENTRY COUPON
Solve the Moviecross correctly and you could win $150! Send the completed
crossword to: Moviecross No. 09, c/– People magazine, PO Box 5536,
Sydney, NSW 2001.
NAME:
14. Nights In White Satin group,
The – Blues
16. – bitten, twice shy
17. Australian hard rock group
(1,1/1,1)
22. See 26 down
24. Bullfighter
25. Jerry Maguire actress,
– Zellweger
ADDRESS:
POSTCODE:
PHONE:
Moviecross entries close May 11. Answers to be printed July 9. Winner to be printed
July 23. See page 40 for T&Cs and the privacy notice.
BRAIN
N GAMESS  BR
RAIN GAMEES  BRAIIN GAMES  BRAIIN GA
AMESS 
#09
APR 30 MOVIECROSS
PUZZLES
PRIVACY NOTICE
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AMESS 
SUDOKU
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4
5
3 9
9 2 4
1
5
7
6 8 9
3
6
5 3 8
1
8
9 6
3 4
7
8 6
7
FILL the grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box
contains the digits 1 to 9.
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SWIRL-A-SLEB
1
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TERMS & CONDITIONS
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WIN $100
FORTNIGHTLY!
2
SOMEONE has taken these celebrities and messed with
their heads. Can you unswirl their faces and identify them?
First correct entry drawn after the closing date wins $100!
Playmate says she also shagged Trump.
3
Ex-US President was recently in Australia.
4
1
2
3
4
Clip out this coupon – OR PHOTOCOPY THIS PAGE – and send to:
Swirl-A-Sleb No. 09, c/– People, PO Box 4088, Sydney, NSW 2001.
NAME:
ADDRESS:
POSTCODE:
Host of Yank reality TV show Survivor.
Female co-host of Network Ten's The Panel.
PHONE:
Swirl-A-Sleb entries close May 11. Answers to be printed July 9.
Winner to be printed July 23. See page 40 for terms and conditions
and the privacy notice.
DID
YOU
KNOW
The rough number of patched outlaw members in
Australia, with 750+ prospects and 4200+ associates.
The task force formed in 2014
to combat “the risk outlaw
motorcycle gangs pose
to the Australian public”.
?
Get
smarter
and shit
This week:
BIKIES
Aussies have motorbike
licences, with 678,000
6
licences
mottorbikes
reg
gistered
for use.
Of active
outlaw club
members have
NO criminal
history.
The term used
for outlaw club
members who
don't actually ride
motorbikes.
Outlaw motor cycle clubs are
currently “of interest” to the
Australian Crime Commission.
Seppo soldiers
returning from WW2
formed the first outlaw
motorcycle clubs.
Of all crime in Australia
is committed by
known outlaw bikies.
WIN!
FUNNY SHIT
$20 LETTERS
JOKES
Almighty’s ducks
One for the road
A YOUNG blonde was involved in
BEST
a terrible car accident. There was
blood everywhere and she was
JOKE
trapped in the vehicle.
Eventually, a paramedic arrived on
the scene and dragged her from the
wreckage. He laid the blonde on the road
and began working on her.
“I’m going to check if you’re concussed,”
he said slowly.
The blonde nodded.
The paramedic said, “OK, how many
fingers am I putting up?”
“Oh no!” she screamed. “I’m paralysed
from the waist down!”
Chris, Vic
Nicely packed
Mark, Vic
To Hell with it
AN OLD prostitute died one day and went to
Heaven where she got chatting to St Peter.
Suddenly, she heard a bloodcurdling scream.
He said, “Don’t worry about that, it’s just
someone having the holes bored into their
shoulder blades before we fit the wings.”
The old slag looked a little uncomfortable
but carried on with the conversation. A few
minutes later there were more horrendous
screaming noises.
44
THREE women die together in a motor
vehicle accident and go to Heaven.
When they get there, St Peter says,
“We only have one rule here in Heaven:
don’t step on the ducks.”
So they enter the joint and there are
ducks all over the place.
It’s almost impossible NOT to step on
a duck. Although they try their best to
avoid them, the first woman accidentally
steps on one.
Along comes St Peter with the ugliest
man she ever saw. He chains them
together and says, “Your punishment for
stepping on a duck is to spend eternity
chained to this ugly man.”
The next day, the second woman
accidentally steps on a duck and along
comes St Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man
and he chains them together.
The third woman has observed all this
and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very careful
where she steps.
She manages to go months without
stepping on a duck and one day St Peter
comes up to her with the most handsome
bloke she’s ever laid eyes on.
St Peter chains them together without
saying a word. The happy woman says,
“I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?”
The bloke says, “I don’t know about
you, but I stepped on a duck!”
TB, NSW
Send your gags to Funny Shit, c/- People, GPO Box 4088, Sydney, NSW 2001, or email it to
people@bauer-media.com.au (include Funny Shit in the subject line).
Q: SO WHAT do a coffin and
a condom have in common?
A: They’re both filled with stiffs,
except that one’s coming and
one’s going.
THE GAG REEL
$50 PICTURES
“What’s happening now?” she asked.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” St Peter
explained. “They’re just having their heads
drilled to fit the halo.”
She cried, “Fuck this! I’m going to Hell.”
“But you can’t go there,” St Peter gasped.
“You’ll be sodomised for all eternity!”
“I don’t care!” yelled the hooker. “At least
I already have a hole for that.”
Danni, SA
Break and enter
A MAN went to the police station wishing to
speak with the burglar who’d broken into
his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court,” said the
desk sergeant.
“No, no, no!” cried the man. “I want to
know how he got into the house without
waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that
for years!”
FC, Vic
Whore moans
A WOMAN went to her doctor for a follow-up
appointment after he’d prescribed her
some testosterone. She’d become a little
worried about the side effects and just
needed some reassuring.
“Doc, the hormones you’ve given me
have been great, but I think you’ve given me
a little bit much,” she explained. “I’ve
started growing hair in places where I’ve
never had any hair before.”
The best one-liners from professional jok
CARRIE SNOW
PETER W
“A male
gynaecologis
is like a
mechanic
who’s never
owned a car
“It’s a bit
too early
for
coffee...
I think
I’ll hav
a scot
ARDE
JIM NORTON
‘I’M SO UGLY…
IF I GOT A GIRL
PREGNANT
SHE’D THROW
HERSELF DOWN
THE STAIRS’
The doctor said, “Well, a little hair growth
is a normal side effect of testosterone.
Where has it started to appear?”
“On my balls,” the lady growled.
Dolly, Tas
CAUGHT IN THE NET
FOR MORE FUNNY PICS, GO TO
FACEBOOK.COM/AUSSIEPEOPLE
God’s waiting
A WOMAN deep in prayer started having
a conversation with God. She asked, “What
does a million years mean to you?”
“About a minute of your time, my child,”
he explained.
“And how much does a million dollars
mean to you?”
“No more than one dollar of your money,”
God responded.
“Well, do you think I could have a dollar,
please?” she asked hopefully.
God replied, “Yeah, in a minute.”
VK, NSW
You had one job, cat...ONE bloody job!
Behind bars
A DRUNK was arrested and taken to the
local police station.
“What am I here for?” the drunk slurred
when he finally realised where he was.
“Excessive drinking,” said the on-duty
police officer.
“Tops,” the pisspot cheered, “I’ll have
a double whiskey on the rocks, thanks.”
RT, SA
Wax on, wax off
Q: WHY does Mr Sheen come in
a can?
A: Because his wife left him.
Seb, NSW
Soft serve
A BLOKE went to see his doctor and
explained he believed he had a sexual
problem because he couldn’t get it up for
his wife anymore.
The doctor told him to bring his wife in
the next day and he’d see what could be
done about the issue.
The worried bloke brought in his wife.
The doctor greeted them and instructed
the lady to remove all her clothing.
“OK, turn all the way around,” said the GP.
“Now lie down and put your legs in the air.
Hmmmm...I see. All right, you can put your
clothes back on.”
As the wife was getting dressed, the doc
pulled the bloke aside and said, “You’re in
perfect health, mate. Your wife didn’t give
me an erection either.”
MV, Tas
Target sounds like a bastard.
They call him the topless truckie.
Watch out...there’s a new gang in town.
Don’t mind if we do!
45
MAMMARY LANE
TAYLOR GUNZ | SYDNEY, NSW | COVER GIRL, FEBRUARY 15, 2010
ou ave
oobs
from our cold, dead hannds!
6
FEMME FA T
WE MISS Taylor Gunz and
r TERRIFIC TITS! T
ripper was WILD ba
en, but not as wild as
some of the punters at
r shows: “[I might be]
ing a private show for
a couple...and, next thi
I know, they’re going for
– HEAD JOBS, the whole
lot. I don’t stop them. Fuck,
I can have that effect
them, that’s AWESOME.”
MAMMARY LANE
TAYLOR GUNZ | SYDNEY, NSW | COVER GIRL, FEBRUARY 15, 2010
‘I CAN
SHOOT A
VIBRATOR
OUT OF
MY PUSSY
A METRE
IN THE AIR’
IMPORTANT!
Send entries to: Win!, c/- People
magazine, GPO Box 4088, Sydney,
NSW 2001. Entries close 5pm,
Friday, May 18.
GIZ! Reviews and giveaways on things YOU need!
Eagle Entertainment, rated
MA, out April 25, RRP:
$29.95 (DVD/Blu-ray)
What’s the guts? The hellish
creature known as The
Creeper is nearing the end of
his 23-day feeding frenzy
when a police task force
come together to end his
reign of terror. But can
Sgt Tubbs and his allies
kill The Creeper? Well,
considering the amount of
blood and gore that flows
throughout this chiller, we
WIN!
WIN!
THE spooky folk at Eagle have sent us FIVE DVDs for this comp.
To enter, just tell us IN ONE SENTENCE something that
creeps you out. The five most skin-crawling answers will receive
a prize. Mark your entries “Jeepers Creepers: Ravenous comp”.
WWE:
Best Of NXT 2017
THE
POST
eOne, rated M, out April 25,
RRP: $24.95 (DVD)/$29.95
(Blu-ray)
What’s the guts? Back in the
early 1970s, The Washington
Post newspaper risked
prosecution and financial ruin
– and made a dangerous
enemy in US President Richard
Nixon – by publishing news about a
government cover-up that could bring
down Nixon’s administration. Now,
the real story behind the headlines
is revealed in this gripping thriller.
Anything else? There’s a helluva
cast on board for the twice-Oscarnominated The Post
suspect it won’t be easy.
Anything else? This fear
fillum is both a sequel to the
original Jeepers Creepers
(2001) and a PREQUEL to
Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003).
Confused? Don’t worry, we’re
sure the upcoming Jeepers
Creepers 4 will clarify
everything. Though this fillum
gives us more info about
The Creeper’s dark origins.
Final word:
We’re totally
creeped out!
including multi-award-winning Meryl
Streep, Tom Hanks, Alison Brie and
Bob Odenkirk. Incredibly, this is the
first time Streep and Hanks have
shared the screen together. Add the
fact it was directed by the legendary
Steven Spielberg and you know this
movie is CLASS all the way.
Final word: No “fake news” here.
THERE are FIVE DVDs on offer, courtesy of the straight-shootin’ types
at eOne. You can win a copy by telling us IN ONE SENTENCE your
newspaper (or newsy website) of choice. The five most informative
answers will score a DVD. Mark your entries “The Post comp”.
Madman, rated M, out April 25,
RRP: $29.95 (DVD)
What’s the guts? The best
wrestling matches in WWE
aren’t on the two TV brands
RAW and Smackdown, but
more and more can be
found on the much smaller
WWE Network-based NXT.
Here, rising stars have
high-risk athletic contests,
but aren’t bogged down by
complicated storylines and
20-minute interview segments.
The stars of today – like Asuka,
Samoa Joe and Shinsuke
WIN!
Nakamura – all made their start in
NXT before being promoted to the
main rosters.
Anything else? This DVD
features some of the best
matches from 2017
including Tyler Bate vs
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featuring Undisputed Era
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Authors Of Pain. Aussie stars are
also represented on the three-disc
DVD, including tag team TM61.
Final word: The NXT big thing!
THE grapplin’ greats at Madman have provided THREE DVDs
to be given away in this fabbo contest. To enter, just tell us
IN ONE SENTENCE your fave NXT wrestler. The three best
answers will win a copy. Mark your entries “WWE: Best Of NXT
2017 comp”.
MODEL
CITIZENS
Where local girls do
their nude duty!
BEEBEE GUNN | Wollongong
CHARLENE | Belcon
n
HOLLY | Wyong
DAKOTA | Yarraville
DANI | ENGLAND
4 nude babes from your ’hood!
MODEL CITIZENS
‘WHEN THEY
CAME IN I
WAS EATING
HER PUSSY’
KINKY
CUTIE
BEEBEE GUNN | 25
What gets you off about fucking on film?
“The idea someone might watch the vid
and get turned on is the biggest selling
point for me. I’m an exhibitionist.”
Ever had sex in front of other people?
“Yes...when I was 18 my friend and I took
two guys back to her bedsit and she had
sex on the bed while I was on the futon.”
Did you swap guys midway through?
“No, but me and her did have a bit of fun
while the guys took a breather. They went
out for a smoke while me and my friend
were yelling, ‘We’re still horny!’ One of the
boys yelled back, ‘So fuck each other.’
By the time they came in I was eating her
pussy. They watched for a few minutes
until they were ready to go again.”
52
PICS BY PHIL INGRAM
Wollongong | NSW
‘I PROBABLY
MASTURBATE
A FEW TIMES
A WEEK’
PICS BY SIMONE DAVIS
HOLLY | 24
Wyong | NSW
Do you fancy tradies, Holly?
“I like a man who can physically take
care of me. And they’re usually humble
guys with down-to-earth attitudes.”
Your shoot had a tradie theme.
“I loved dressing up. It was a lot of fun.
I don’t often do it as I live in my bikinis
and gym gear, but I also enjoy a cute
schoolgirl skirt or a lil’ maid costume.”
What about no clothes altogether?
“Who doesn’t like being nude?”
At the beach?
“Any day. Also, I love the forest and
rock pools, so if I’ve got a photo
shoot in those places, I’ll be naked.”
When did you last do a drunken nude
run, buddy?
“Maybe three years ago.”
DAKOTA | 29
Yarraville | VIC
Do you masturbate much?
“I probably do it a few times a week,
depending on my mood.”
Tell us about your most recent wank.
“I’m more of a G-spot stimulation
kinda girl. I used my swan vibe, which
curves up to my G-spot. It’s thick, as
I like my toys to have good girth.”
How did you tackle the problem?
“I started on light, then moved up to
the most intense vibration setting.
I forced it into my G-spot and,
when I was ready, I pulled it out
with a squirt on my bed sheets.”
Is squirting a tough skill to master?
“I used to think it was hard or not
possible to squirt, but I seem to
always get it from that toy.”
53
MODEL CITIZENS
DANI | 26
ENGLAND
What wild antics do you get up to?
“I’ve been chained up by my wrists
to a door by a coat hook, but I came
down after a few heavy thrusts. I have
a thing about having sex outdoors.
The best place has probably been
in a pirate ship in a kids’ playground
in the middle of the night.”
Ever been caught doing it in public?
“I’ve had some very close encounters
on bushwalks, but luckily never been
caught. The closest I came is after
having sex against my boyfriend’s car
outside his house while his family
were inside. His sister came outside
about a minute after we’d finished.”
Ever caught anyone else rooting?
“Oh God, yes. I‘ve travelled and lived
in hostels for some time. People can
be shameless about having sex or
masturbating, thinking you can’t hear.”
‘WE HAD SEX
IN A PIRATE
SHIP IN A
PLAYGROUND’
ARSE WITH
CLASS
54
CHARLENE | 29
‘INDONESIAN
GALS ARE
TRADITIONAL
AND WILD’
Belconnen | ACT
What do you enjoy most about fucking?
“The anticipation of him sliding in between
my legs when both of us are incredibly
turned on. I love that moment you just start
to slide it in: that rush of sexual adrenaline
is amazing.”
What turns you on?
“I get turned on imagining situations.
Also, if he plays right with my brain.”
Just men or do you like women, too?
“I can be with women; I used to do it.”
What makes Indonesian babes so hot?
“We’re the perfect combination of
traditional and wild. Most Indonesian
girls are wifely and motherly; at the same
time, they also enjoy passionate and wild
sex. This is called ‘a unique pairing’; two
completely different qualities can be found
in one person. How exciting is that?! So,
if you have an Indonesian girlfriend, you’ll
never be bored.”
BOOBS WE
LOVE
MODEL CITIZENS
LODACTYL | 24
Hoppers Crossing | VIC
What gets you off about anal?
“It gives you pleasure unlike any other.
A hole is a hole; and everything is
worth trying at least once.”
What else lights your fire?
“Being dominant as a woman, taking
control and leaving my sexual partner
quivering with pleasure.”
Just guys or have you left women
quivering with pleasure as well?
“Both – sometimes at the same time.
A married couple I worked for when I
was 18 and they were in their 30s was
the first threesome I ever had.”
Tell us more.
“At one point I went down on her
while he shagged me from behind,
then she went down on me while he
did the same to her. She got on top
of him and I sat on his face. We
continued to work together for
almost another year and had regular
threesomes until I moved states.”
56
TATTS
AWESOME
‘I WAS 18
WHEN I HAD
MY FIRST
THREESOME’
O EL CITIZENS
READER
REQUEST
READER Angelo of Brisbane, Qld
has returned from a trip to Israel and
reckons the chicks there are the
SEXIEST in the world. His challenge?
Track down an Israeli Cit to re-run in
the mag. Easy-peasy, Ang. RIVER
nuded up in our June 24, 2013 issue.
She told us the sexiest celeb was
“Emma Stone – she’s amazingly sexy
and funny, and a redhead. What more
could you want in a woman?” Her
turn-ons? “The feeling of fingers
stroking down my waist and soft lips
kissing my neck and throat sends
shivers through my body.”
RIVER
ISRAEL
PHOENIX
GERMANY
February 1, 2016
EMILY
Yanchep, WA
February 1, 2016
EM WAS up for a root
on a paddleboard:
“Just don’t rock side
to side too much.”
This skimpy said her
job was “a lot of fun”.
The most she’d made
in one shift? “A
fucking SHITLOAD.”
SJ
ENGLAND
July 16, 2012
WHEN it came to
oral, this visitor
preferred chicks:
“They know what
they’re doing…they
know what spots
to go for.” As for
returning the
favour: “I’d take a
girl any day…it just
tastes way better.”
PHOENIX loved Oz: “I live
in Toowoomba and work
at a strip club. It’s
awesome!” Did it hurt
getting that tatt between
her tits? “A little, but it
was totally worth it.”
PRINCESS
Cooroy, QLD
July 16, 2012
“I’M PRETTY kinky and
like to dress up in sexy
lingerie,” confessed
Princess. “My favourite
toy is the whip!” Some
guys weren’t into it, “but
as long as I enjoy it… It’s
my way or the highway!”
BAMBI
Brisbane, QLD
July 16, 2012
STRIPPER Bambi loved
her work and “meeting
a lot of different people,
which is a great thing”.
She was turned on by
bad boys, “especially
the real evil type”.
MINX
Palm Beach, QLD
February 1, 2016
MINX was a sexy chef
both at work and at
home: “I have a no
clothing policy in my
home kitchen.” She
loved eating food…
and COCK: “I rate it
more highly than
being eaten out…”
MODEL CITIZENS
CIT OF THE
WEEK
CHARLOTTE | 26
Canada Bay | NSW
HOW was the shoot, Charlotte?
“It was a warm autumn day, so it was fine – actually,
I had a touch of hay fever, which is weird for this
time of year.”
Is that long hair of yours hard to manage?
“My hair can get crazy, especially after a shower.
I have to comb the knots out of it, which I hate.
I usually get my boyfriend to comb my hair while
I do something else to pass the time.”
Like what, mate?
“Masturbating is a good way to waste a lazy half
hour. I’ve had a couple of lovely orgasms by the
time he’s finished.”
Do ya reward your man for his combing efforts?
“Absolutely! He gets to eat me out afterwards,
then I let him fuck me till he cums, too.”
62
‘WANKING IS
A GOOD WAY
TO WASTE
A HALF HOUR’
BECOME A
MODEL CIT
JUST LIKE
CHARLOTTE
Hey, ladies! Pose topless and you’ll score
a cool $100. Get completely starkers
and receive $150! Citizen Of The Week
receives $400!
Our favourite Model Citizens have the
chance to pose again as a Harem or
Centrefold model and score up to $1000!
OFFICIAL MODEL CITIZENS
ENTRY COUPON
SEND this coupon to: Model Citizens, c/People, GPO Box 4088, Sydney, NSW 2001.
Once we receive it, we’ll put you in touch with
one of our ace photographers, who’ll take
lovely pics for use in our mag!
■ Yes, I want to be a Model Citizen (please
tick). I hereby give People the right to use
my photos on the internet, and on MMS,
SMS or DVD.
■ I am over 18 years of age and attach a
photocopy of photo ID (eg. driver’s licence).
NAME:
ADDRESS:
PHONE (Home):
PHONE (Work):
SIGNATURE:
By signing this agreement, I signify I have
read, understand and agree to be bound by
the important terms and conditions below.
Important terms and conditions:
1. I acknowledge and agree that the publisher of People magazine, Bauer Media
(Bauer), its licensees or assigns may publish or authorise the publication of the
pictures of me in any layout or format, in whole or in part, without restriction as to
changes or alterations made from time to time and accompanied by any text and/
or graphics it chooses without further reference to me.
2. I hereby assign to Bauer Media the worldwide copyright to the photographs and
acknowledge that Bauer Media may exercise all of the rights of the copyright owner in
respect of the photographs, including using or licensing the publication of the photos in
other publications and using or licensing the publication of the photographs in any
format including (but not limited to) DVD, MMS, CD-ROM or the internet.
3. I release Bauer Media, its employees, agents, related companies and assigns from
all actions, suits, causes of actions, claims and demands whatsoever which I may
have at any time in connection with the photographs or arising from or relating to
their publication in print or electronic media, including and liability by virtue of any
blurring, distortion, alteration, context or otherwise, including (but not limited to) any
action for defamation.
4. I acknowledge that persons sending Model Citizens photos without the written
permission of the subject will be liable to criminal prosecution.
63
THE HAREM
GEORGIA | 22 | MOSCOW, RUSSIA
ON MY
But you’d
rather have
her on your
dick!
64
E’RE so
proud of juicy
Georgia – the café
waitress-slasha model recently learned how
glamma
P-THROAT THE DICK and now
to DEEP
een to try out her new-found
she’s ke
h as many lucky guys as she
skill with
d! Any volunteers?
can find
S up, Georgia? How’s life
WHAT’S
in sunny Russia?
“Much better now that winter is
over – I HATE being cold.”
And yett you spend half your life
starkers modelling for mags.
“Well, a decent photographer will
at least have warmed up the studio
before a shoot begins during
THE HAREM
GEORGIA | 22 | MOSCOW, RUSSIA
winter, so feeling cold shouldn’t
be a problem. Just in case, I always
bring an oversized wool jumper
that I can pull on and snuggle into
s
between shots.”
Cleve
er thinking, Georgia. So, what’s
happening
g with you sex-wise?
“I’m single
e and happy to just FUCK
witho
out be
eing stuck with a boyfriend.
I’ve found that screwing a range of
guys helps
s me develop NEW SEXUAL
SKILLS…like deep-throating.”
Oh? Do te
ell, matey.
“I’d never really attempted to swallow
a man’s co
ock, but I hooked up with
a guyy seve
eral weeks ago who wasn’t
too well-hu
ung – ONLY SEVEN INCHES
d I asked if I could PRACTISE
– and
on his sch
hlong. He didn’t object.”
Well, name a man who would.
“Exacctly – I spent nearly an hour
sucking him off and by the end of
it I co
ould completely
c
take his penis
WITHOUT GAGGING. I felt so proud
of myyself that
t
I licked and jerked him
C
off till he CAME
in my mouth, then
I swa
allowed every drop of his JISM.”
Was he wa
as just the first of many
dicks
s you’ve tackled?
“Inde
eed! I’ve deep-throated THREE
guys since
e that night. One of them
had a thick NINE-INCHER, but I
aged to
t take it all down my
mana
throa
at with
hout any problem at all.”
We lo
ove yo
our spunk, Georgia. And,
clearrly, yo
ou love SPUNK, too.
TRUE B
I WAS in Bangkok w
with my fella
but things weren’t going well
ught him
between us. I’d cau
cheating on me before we left
and our attempts to
t patch up
hile on hols
the relationship wh
had gone pear-shaped.
ent too many,
After one argume
n our hotel
I left him sulking in
room one evening and headed
to Patpong for a drink. I wound
up in a little go-go bar called
hich was
King’s Castle 3, wh
filled with tourists and some
I’d
of the PRETTIEST WOMEN
W
ever seen.
I got talking to a striking
brunette at the barr who called
herself Sunny.
She spoke excellent English
way for an
and we chatted aw
hour while I boughtt her drinks.
but I
I couldn’t help myself,
m
er BIG BOOBS
loved looking at he
er skimpy
wobble beneath he
white T-shirt.
The heat, the booze and the
er argument
stress of the earlie
me because
must have got to m
I suddenly felt a bitt dizzy.
“You wanna come with me for
d Sunny with
a lie-down?” asked
concern in her voicce.
e helped me
I nodded and she
out of the club. She had a flat
ded me
nearby, so she guid
upstairs and onto her bed.
She brought me a bottle of
ool damp
cold water and a co
cloth that she placed on my
ally touched
forehead. I was rea
by her KINDNESS.
in the
We talked some more
m
semi-darkness as I recovered my
BANG THAT COCK
bearings. Sunny stroked my face
and arms with her long fingers,
which felt very sensuous.
Feeling bold, I asked if I could
kiss her on the lips.
She tentatively nodded and
we began to MAKE OUT on the
bed. A little later, I stripped
naked, then started to remove
68
‘SUNNY WENT
TO TOWN ON
MY SMOO’
Sunny’s clothing. She seemed
hesitant and I asked why.
She looked down and I saw a
MASSIVE BONER poking out of
the top of her shorts!
This lady was a LADYBOY!
“That’s OK, babe,” I purred
after my initial shock had
eased. “I’m game if you are.”
I spread my legs wide and
Sunny went to town on my wet
hairy smoo with her tongue.
After I’d orgasmed, I told her
to stick her THICK ROD in me.
Soon, I was being gloriously
fucked by Sunny and loving
EVERY INCH of it!
Janey, Qld
SEND IN A YARN AND
S
SCORE $50!
S
Post it to: True Blue Confessions
c/– People magazine, GPO Box 4088,
Sydney, NSW 2001.
Or email your filthy story to
people@bauer-media.com.au!
RIENDS WITH
BENEFITS
OUG and I had been a couple
DO
forr 10 years, but we grew apart,
altthough we stayed mates.
W
We jointly owned the house
we
e lived in, so Doug still lived
the
ere, although he slept in the
guest bedroom.
One night, I came home
aftter a boozy dinner with
girrlfriends and heard noise
coming from Doug’s room.
I crept to the partly opened
do
oor and took a peek. He was
lying on the bed, TODGER IN
HA
AND and BEATING HIS MEAT
wh
hile watching porn on his
iPh
hone. The volume was
turned up so loud he didn’t
he
ear me walk in till I asked,
“W
What’s going on here?”
Doug shrugged, “Since we
split up, I haven’t been getting
an
ny, so I have to do something
to RELIEVE THE STRESS.”
‘I CAUGHT HIM
WATCHING
PORN ON HIS
IPHONE’
“Poor baby,” I mock-cooed,
sitting beside him. “Let me
give you a HELPING HAND.”
With that, I reached over,
wrapped my hand around
his helmet and jerked him off
till a STREAM OF JIZ shot out.
As he drifted contentedly off
to sleep, I stood and pecked
him on the forehead.
“You silly sausage. If you
ever need ‘relief’ again,
just ask me. We may not be
together anymore, but I’m
always up for a friendly fuck.”
Robyn, SA
FUCKING FIT!
MY MISSUS is heavily into yoga.
I always thought it was hippie
bullshit, but something
happened recently that radically
changed my opinion.
Nancy was a top netballer
when she was younger, but
she’s now in her mid-30s and
her knees are fucked.
But she’s FITTER and MORE
FLEXIBLE than ever courtesy of
hitting the yoga mat for a
NUDE SESH every morning.
The other day, I sat at the
breakfast table having coffee
and watching her go through
her routine on the mat when
a funny thought struck me.
“Hey darl,” I asked, “have
you noticed that some of your
yoga poses look a lot like SEX
POSSIES. I mean what’s that
pose called?”
Nancy was lying face down
on the mat, using her arms to
‘HER YOGA
POSES LOOKED
LIKE SEX
POSITIONS’
raise the top half of her body.
“It’s ‘the cobra’,” she smiled,
stretching her torso and neck.
“It’s like a chilled-out version
of DOGGY,” I smiled. “Mind if
I join you?”
I pulled down my boxers,
exposing MY STIFFY.
“Sure,” she smiled. I knelt
between her parted legs and
gently guided my aching knob
up her SNATCH. Nancy began
yelping, which meant I must
have been hitting her G-spot.
It didn’t take long for her
to climax and I wasn’t far
behind her.
Once we recovered, the
wife was keen to try a few
more yoga positions – the
“DOWNWARD DOG” and the
appropriately named “PLOW
POSE” were personal faves
– and I added my PERSONAL
PENIS TWIST to ’em.
Nancy got extremely fit that
morning and we both GOT
OUR ROCKS OFF multiple
times. Yay for yoga!
Allan, Vic
MEAT MY MUM-IN-LAW
I WAS young, dumb, and full of
CUM when I was living over in
the UK. I’ve never rooted more
in my life.
But this one SPECIAL night
in a small town in northern
Wales topped ’em all.
My mate Steve and I were out
at a local nightclub and we’d
had a SKINFUL. I was dancing
with this young slapper, then we
started PASHING.
I felt a tap on my shoulder
and turned around. It was an
ere’s
re’s
older bird who yelled, “Whe
my kiss, then?”
I looked back at the chick
I was holding, and she
motioned me to do it.
I snogged both chicks
at the same time and it
was grouse. I went to buy
them drinks and when I
came back, I asked if they
knew each other.
“Mandy’s my mother-in-law,”
chirped the younger one, whose
name was DeeDee.
I suddenly panicked and
stammered, “Where are your
husbands tonight?”
“Down in Cardiff doing the
exact same thing, I expect,”
Mandy cackled. “Wanna come
back to ours for a shag?”
I didn’t hesitate – I SHOVED
’em in the first taxi back to their
place. As soon as we were
inside I had them skirts-up,
‘I TOOK TURNS
RAMMING
THEM FROM
BEHIND’
side-by-side on all fours and
I took turns RAMMING them
HARD from behind while they
squealed with pleasure.
Next, I GROWLED out Mandy
w
wh
hile fucking DeeDee, then
sw
w
wapped
them round.
When I said I was about to
SPROG,
P
DeeDee got on her
knees
n
in front of me, while
M
Ma
andy hungrily TONGUED
MY ARSEHOLE!
I’ve never cum harder than
tth
hat, and I doubt I ever will.
AB, NSW
69
THE BACK DOOR
EMILY & KATIE | 24 | THE HAREM, MARCH 19
‘I LIKE MY LOVERS TO BE
GENTLE WITH MY ASS’
– EMILY
ARE either of you fans of spanking?
Emily: “Not really – I like my lovers to be
GENTLE with my ass.”
Katie: “I’m the opposite to you. I want to
have BRUISES – if I can’t sit down the next
morning, then I know I had a fucking GREAT
night before.”
Ouchie. What’s the most interesting thing
you’ve had up your bum?
Emily: “Just a COCK – I quite like anal sex.
But I’ve never actually stuck a vibrator or
dildo up there. Maybe I should give it a go.”
Katie: “I once stuck a BARBIE DOLL up
there as a dare from an old girlfriend. It was
fine until I tried to pull it out and the head
popped off. That was an uncomfortable few
minutes, I can tell you.”
RWAY
TO HEAVEN
‘I ONCE STUCK
A BARBIE DOLL
UP MY BUM’
– KATIE
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