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The Daily Telegraph Review - April 7, 2018

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***
Saturday 7 April 2018
Review
A RT S , B O OK S , T E L E V I S ION & R A DIO
Wild child,
rock god,
tech mogul
How Jared Leto went from Nineties
heartthrob to Silicon Valley powerhouse
PH O T O GR A PH Y
E S SAY
FILM
The camera’s love
affair with the garden page 6
Why Penelope is the
real hero of the Odyssey page 10
Robbie Collin: how to
pick the perfect kids’ film page 14
2
***
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
Contents
FILM
Top Marx
The movies children
n
unexpectedly love –
an’t
and the ones they can’t
llin
stand. By Robbie Collin
PH O T O GR A PH Y
E S SAY
Blooming marvellous
Weaving her tricks
The garden as muse, by Lucy Davies
Novelist Madeline Miller on why Penelope is
more than a match for her husband Odysseus
Page 14
Page 6
Page 10
VIEWFINDER
BUTTERFLY DART (2010)
LADYBIRD PILL PACKET (2012)
LOVEBIRD WITH GRENADE (2014)
BY NANCY FOUTS
COVER Jared Leto, courtesy of Piczo
“Tickling things up” is how
the American artist Nancy
Fouts describes what she
does, tweaking or juxtaposing
familiar objects to render
them surreal: a blister-pack
that contains not pills but
carefully preserved and
painted ladybirds, a dart with
butterfly wings, a stuffed
lovebird plucking the pin out of
a hand-grenade. In the Da-Da
tradition of Marcel Duchamp’s
1913 bicycle wheel mounted
on a stool, the function of
the original thing is often
subverted: a walking stick
covered in thorns, for instance.
But Fouts’s ethos – “wrong
is nice” – quickly takes her
into darker territory than
Duchamp ever explored. An
exhibition of her work called
Down the Rabbit Hole opens
at Flowers Gallery, London,
on Thursday.
Details: flowersgallery.com
3
4
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
ON HIS
OWN
PLANET
WIREIMAGE; ALAMY; JAAP BUITENDIJK; CLAY ENOS; ABC VIA
Jared Leto as
frontman for
his band Thirty
Seconds to Mars
‘I might Airbnb my
airbase for 10 bucks’
Jared Leto ditched drugs to become an Oscar-winning actor,
rock star and investor. He tells Craig McLean why the one
role he won’t be taking is the lead in a Hugh Hefner biopic
J
ared Leto is the actor
who really goes there.
To play John
Lennon’s killer in
Chapter 27 (2007), he
gained so much weight by
drinking melted ice cream that
he gave himself gout. For Dallas
Buyers Club (2013), in which he
played a trans woman with HIV,
he lost 30lb and, on set, stepped
out of his trailer “every morning,
no matter what” in high heels.
For Requiem for a Dream (2000),
he shot up with real junkies on
the street – though he only
injected water. For Blade Runner
2049 (2017), he kept himself
blind, on and off-set, and as The
Joker in Suicide Squad (2016), he
pranked his co-stars by sending
them used condoms.
So it’s no surprise that, as a rock
star, he really goes there, too. Since
he formed Thirty Seconds to Mars
20 years ago, he has sold 15 million
albums, and in 2011 entered the
Guinness Book of World Records for
the longest tour in one album cycle
(300 shows in support of their
third album, This Is War). A fifth
album, America, is just out.
When I meet the 46-year-old
frontman backstage at Glasgow’s
Hydro, Leto is damp from the
shower and dressed in leggings.
Barely half an hour earlier, though,
he was a vision in Jesus beard,
sunglasses, shin-length kilt and red
plaid double-breasted coat,
wowing 13,000 fans with his band’s
anthemic sugar-metal.
So far, so rock’n’roll. Bear in
mind, too, that he lives in a
100,000 sq ft decommissioned US
Air Force base in the hills above
Los Angeles’ Sunset Strip. Except
Leto is not your average rock god.
He eyes up a bottle of fancy
whisky, handed to him as a gift. “I
don’t drink and nor does my
brother – this is a dry tour,” he
whispers to me, awkward at
snubbing his Glaswegian hosts.
Forming the band with his
brother Shannon, who pounds the
drums as if his life depended on it,
did more for the siblings than
supply rock’n’roll kicks. Shannon is
a reformed drug addict, two years
Leto’s senior, and, says Leto, “lucky
to be alive”.
Leto himself has been sober now
for “oh man, f---, so long”. But in
his late teens, in and out of art
college in Washington DC, he once
recalled that “the crack epidemic
was taking hold of the eastern
seaboard. Those were the days
when you’d sit in a circle with a
group of other people and a needle
would be passed around.
“There were probably only two
things I thought about being back
then: one was an artist, the other
was a drug dealer. The same could
probably be said of Shannon. But I
managed to turn a corner…”
He certainly did. Not just an
A-list actor and occasional model,
Leto is also a politically engaged
philanthropist who puts his boots
where his PR is, joining the relief
effort after the 2010 Haitian
earthquake, for example.
And he is a serious investor,
mainly in tech companies. He owns
chunks of Spotify and Uber, and
tried to buy part of Instagram, days
before Facebook announced its
$1 billion acquisition of the site in
2012. Because of his insider
knowledge, he takes a more
pragmatic view than most of the
ongoing scandal surrounding the
harvesting of Facebook data for
use by political campaigns.
“I was very aware of the
company for a couple of years,” he
says of Cambridge Analytica, the
business at the heart of the
controversy. “Everybody was.”
“I’m not an investor,” he
clarifies. “But even the harvesting
of the data wasn’t a secret –
Facebook knew about it, people
knew about it. It wasn’t public
information, probably, but I think
‘If I was offered my
role in Dallas Buyers
Club now, I would
probably pass’
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
COVER STORY
JARED LETO
SIMPLY
JARED:
LETO
IN EIGHT
MY
SO-CALLED
LIFE 1994-5
FIGHT CLUB
1999
REQUIEM
FOR A DREAM
2000
ALEXANDER
2004
CHAPTER 27
2007
people assume data is being
harvested in all kinds of ways.
“Any time you take an IQ test or
personality test online and send it
to all your friends – well, guess
what,” he laughs, “you just gave all
of your intimate details to an
anonymous source that’s selling
your data all over the world. It’s not
just Facebook – every app that you
use is collecting your data in some
form, pretty much.”
Asked to single out an
investment of which he’s
particularly proud, he plumps for
Airbnb. With Thirty Seconds to
Mars on tour for much of the year,
I suggest he could list his military
home (“the crazy f---ing place!”).
Airbasebnb, anyone?
“You know, I thought about it,”
he grins. “We played with some
ideas for how to do something fun
like that. Maybe we should do a
contest where someone gets to
rent the whole place for a night for
10 bucks.” With anyone else, you’d
think that was a sound bite. With
Leto, you believe he really might.
Leto has become more picky
about his acting roles, partly
because – in terms of profile and
money – he can afford to be. But
oddly he asserts that, even though
his part in Dallas Buyers Club won
DALLAS
BUYERS CLUB
2013
him a best supporting actor Oscar,
if he were offered that role right
now, “I would probably pass.”
He was heckled in some quarters
for “transmisogyny”: of being a
straight, white male playing a part
that a genuine trans actor could
have played. “I think we should
make sure we always think first of
people in the minority that don’t
have as many opportunities,” says
Leto. “And that was made very
clear to me through that process.”
He confirms his Andy Warhol
biopic is in the works, with
Terence Winter (The Sopranos,
Wolf of Wall Street) writing the
script. But he has “no idea” about
any future DC Extended Universe
movies featuring The Joker, the
confusion partly the result of the
critical and commercial failure of
Suicide Squad, “probably the most
hyped movie I’ve ever seen in my
entire life”.
Recently, it was “announced” he
would play Hugh Hefner in a
biopic of the late founder of
Playboy. Director Brett Ratner was
reported as saying: “Jared is an old
friend. When he heard I got the
rights to Hef ’s story, he told me, ‘I
want to play him. I want to
understand him’. And I really
believe Jared can do it. He’s one of
the great actors of today.”
But the plug was pulled after
Ratner was accused of sexual
harassment (he denies the
allegations). Leto also insists his
involvement was only ever a
“rumour. It was never true.”
But should that project get back
on track, and if the allegations
remain unproven, would he work
with Ratner? He exhales heavily
and thinks. “I would never want to
do anything that would make
someone else feel any sort of pain.
So for me, I…” Leto frowns.
“Like, I don’t make very many
films, so it’s almost a hypothetical
question because the reality for me
is it’s easy not to work. I can enjoy a
director’s work [but] I don’t have to
work with that person.”
So if Ratner was doing the
Hefner movie, he would not now
do it? “I am not doing the Hefner
movie, and I am not working with
Brett Ratner on any Hefner movie.
It was a total rumour and not true.
I was never going to be in any
movie with Brett Ratner directing
Hugh Hefner.”
W
SUICIDE
SQUAD 2016
BLADE
RUNNER 2049
2017
ith a career as varied as
Leto’s, it is inevitable that he
has worked with other
movie industry figures
subsequently accused of sexual
harassment. Step forward James
Toback, with whom Leto made the
1999 film Black and White. After
first being accused of sexual
harassment and assault in a Los
Angeles Times report last October,
the director has subsequently been
accused by 357 women (Toback
denies the charges).
“Oh my God!” exclaims Leto,
eyes widening at the figure. “Yeah,
I worked for five hours on the set. I
really did it because it was me and
Robert Downey Jr, and I just
showed up for those five hours.
[So] I didn’t see much of anything
beside a very funny Robert
Downey Jr.”
I ask about Leto’s close friend
Terry Richardson, the fashion
photographer, who has been
accused of sexual misconduct on
his shoots (he denies the
allegations). “I don’t have any
comment on anything to do with
him, allegations or anything. I
mean, there’s much… ah… ah…
yeah, period.” He stops dead
right there.
I mention that the music
industry hasn’t (yet) had a proper
#MeToo reckoning, but its
reputation precedes it. “Ah…” A
long pause. “I haven’t thought
about that before.” Another pause.
“We have a really professional
environment, as you see backstage.
You’ll see a little bit of water and
some muesli,” he smiles, “and
people working really hard.”
In the arena, I spotted a female
lighting director and at least two
female roadies. That’s already three
more women than you see in most
rock bands’ touring parties. I ask
Leto: is that a deliberate hiring
policy, to make his crew more
representative?
“I would say it’s a selfish thing,”
America
(Polydor)
is out now
he says, “because I realised that
half the population of the world
has probably a disproportionate
amount of the talent.
“I grew up with a single mom
who was really hard working,” he
continues, speaking of his and
Shannon’s hardscrabble Louisiana
childhood with a teenage mother.
(Their father left when they were
infants, then committed suicide
when Leto was eight.)
“She put herself through
college and nursing school. I
recognise the value of people.
And there absolutely needs to be
more women on the road.”
For the Leto brothers, their
arena-filling rock band is –
paradoxically – something that
keeps them on the straight and
narrow. And, clearly, it keeps
them thrilled: the look of
unalloyed joy on Leto’s face in the
Glasgow show was something to
behold. Of course, as a timeserved, road-weary rock star, he
might be faking it; but if he is, he
deserves another Oscar.
5
6
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
© MARK KLETT, COURTESY GEORGE EASTMAN MUSEUM; © JUSTIN KIMBALL, COURTESY GEORGE EASTMAN MUSEUM; COURTESY WILLIAM LARSON/GITTERMAN GALLERY, NEW YORK
PHOTOGRAPHY
GARDENS
SUBURBIA
Phoenix, Arizona,
1997 by Justin
Kimball, top; Kem
Brown in Her
Garden, Gimlet,
Idaho, 1981, by
Mark Klett, left;
Untitled, 1980;
from the series
Tucson Gardens,
by William
Larson, below
F
Watch the birdy!
From daguerreotypes of Victorian blooms to wry snaps of
suburban barbecues, you can trace the history of photography
through its love affair with gardens, discovers Lucy Davies
iery nasturtiums
framing a path, puffs
of white blossom on
spindly branches, the
heat rising from dawndamp grass: gardens have supplied
lush and fertile ground for the
photographer’s imagination ever
since sunshine was caught for the
first time on silver-soaked paper in
the 1830s.
The marriage stems – at least
partly – from convenience. Early
photography was not a dainty
pastime, and its pioneers quickly
learnt the advantages of lugging
their bulky miscellany of tripods
and boxes along with their
hazardous, foul-smelling syrups
of acid and cyanide outside, a safe
distance from the soft furnishings.
In the open air, too, there was
an abundance of light with which
to saturate the insides of their
cameras, however crude those
cameras were. During the “brilliant
summer of 1835”, as he described
it, when the sun shone for days
on end and the grass was crackledry, the British inventor William
Fox Talbot made pictures using
little more than sawn-in-half cigar
boxes, fitted with lenses purloined
from the eyepieces of telescopes
and microscopes.
The makeshiftness of his
equipment mattered not a jot
– Talbot’s images of the trees
surrounding his Wiltshire garden,
of a broom leaning against an
outbuilding door, and his bonneted
daughters in front of a gazebo, are
quite magnificent, paving the way
for the legions of photographers
William Fox Talbot in
1835 took pictures of
his trees using a lens
in a sawn-up cigar box
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
COME RAIN
OR SHINE
© JOEL MEYEROWITZ, COURTESY HOWARD GREENBERG GALLERY; © ANDREW BUURMAN, COURTESY GEORGE EASTMAN MUSEUM
Untitled,
Birmingham,
UK, 2004, left,
by Andrew
Buurman,
from the series
Allotments
who have tried their hands at rosedotted arbours ever since.
To judge from Jamie M Allen
and Sarah Anne McNear’s The
Photographer in the Garden, a new
book that surveys 180 years of
this particular art (and in which
I wholeheartedly wish it were
possible to sink one’s nose and
inhale), the shifting tones and
patterns that a garden offered
– not to mention the privacy
– encouraged the pioneers of
photography to be a little bolder
than they might have been in those
early, heady days of trial and error.
In 1847, for instance, Hippolyte
Bayard concocted a photographic
still life out of wheelbarrows,
watering cans, pots and hoes. We
CONTINUED ON PAGE 8 J
FLOWER
POWER
Vivian, Bronx
Botanical
Gardens, New
York City, 1966,
left, by Joel
Meyerowitz
7
8
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
ESTATE OF LUIGI GHIRRI, COURTESY MATTHEW MARKS GALLERY; COURTESY GEORGE EASTMAN MUSEUM; © MARTIN PARR AGNUM PHOTOS
PHOTOGRAPHY
GARDENS
CORNUCOPIA
Clockwise from
above: Roma,
1979 by Luigi
Ghirri; Children
and teacher in a
garden, 1899, by
J CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7
see turn-of-the-century nudists
among the cucumber frames;
Edwardian women in Alice bands
and pearl vaulting across the
frame. Even now, gardens seem
to inspire ordinarily austere
photographers to throw caution
to the wind, exhilarated by the
garden’s fluctuating sensual
texture – scent, breeze, feel.
Interestingly, leisure gardening
as we know it today – an escape
from the routines of daily life,
a means of reconnecting with
nature – only emerged at about
the same time as photography,
which may have influenced
those pioneers in their choice of
subject. Painting gardens from
life would soon become popular
among the impressionists, of
course, and those who came after
them. Taking a visitor through
his garden at Issy-les-Moulineaux
in 1911, Matisse said: “This is my
favourite place to be. Isn’t that
flower bed more beautiful than the
finest antique Persian rug?”
The advent at the end of the
19th century of snapshot cameras
spawned a welter of amateur
photographs depicting leisure time
in the garden: we see shy women
among the hollyhocks, or pristine
children, all ringlets and straw
boaters, “gardening” under the eye
of their teacher. But many of the
photographs here are by masters:
Irving Penn’s portraits of poppies,
begonias and peonies; the tomato
plants clambering through the
German photographer August
Gardening as we
know it today only
emerged at the same
time as photography
Frances Benjamin
Johnston; Loders
Street Fair,
England, 1999,
by Martin Parr;
Bouquet of flowers,
c1845, by the
Sander’s studio window, as if trying
to snatch a bite of his lunch.
The stately end of the garden
spectrum is represented by Cecil
Beaton’s typically nonchalant,
stylish lawns at Reddish Manor,
in Wiltshire, once trodden by
the likes of Greta Garbo; and
the photographs of the GermanAmerican Horst P Horst, whose
forays into the gardens of the rich
and famous were a regular feature
on the pages of Vogue in the Sixties.
Horst takes us into the grounds
of La Grange, home of the Baron
and Baroness de Waldner, near
Paris. According to Horst’s partner,
the writer Valentine Lawford,
the Baroness was a passionate
gardener for whom gardening was
“not a form of escapism since she is
unaware of the need to escape”.
unknown French
daguerreotypist
later collected by
the photographer
Gabriel Cromer
and known as
Cromer’s Amateur
But every kind of garden
is represented in the book –
vegetable, window, rose, parterre,
even those sandwiched between
skyscrapers or in jam jars on
windowsills – and they become a
social commentary on the people
who tend them. There is a rich
seam of observational humour in
our frequently awkward, often
ridiculous, attempts to tame the
wilderness, to create our own little
piece of paradise, complete with
barbecue, sprinkler and folding
chairs. It’s all a slippery slope: once
you’ve staked a fence and planted
a border, a rainbow-coloured
rockery or a planter made from an
old lavatory aren’t far behind.
The Photographer in the Garden
is published by Aperture (£40)
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
RUPERT HAWKSLEY
SCREENGRAB
Even a boiled ham looked sinister in this deliciously blood-curdling, over-the-top Agatha Christie thriller
ORDEAL BY INNOCENCE
BBC One, Sunday
WHO
KILLED
RACHEL?
THE CITY & THE CITY
‘A
BBC Two, Friday
Eleanor
Tomlinson as
the murdered
woman’s
daughter, Mary
Ben
Lawrence
is away
BBC/MAMMOTH SCREEN/ACL/JAMES FISHER
h, how lovely,”
I thought, as
I let a little
extra butter
melt into a
hot cross bun,
poured myself
a glass of red
(very underrated combination, by
the way) and collapsed onto the
sofa. Easter Sunday, formalities
over, Agatha Christie on the box.
Had I, too, ascended to heaven?
Apparently not. Fast forward an
hour and I was scrambling about
for something altogether stronger
to settle my shredded nerves.
The first episode of Ordeal
by Innocence, a three-part
adaptation by Sarah Phelps of
Christie’s 1958 psychological
thriller, was not at all what I’d
expected. There was no Poirot to
totter in and smooth things over.
No warmth. No humour. Just
darkness, claustrophobia and fear.
Even a boiled ham looked sinister.
And to think the BBC had planned
to show this at Christmas.
Ordeal by Innocence was
dropped from the festive
schedules after historic sexual
assault allegations were made
against one of its stars, Ed
Westwick (which he denies). So in
January, the rest of the cast was
hauled back to Scotland to reshoot 35 scenes, at a cost of nearly
£2 million, with Christian Cooke
replacing Westwick. That you
don’t notice the joins is a triumph
of hard work.
Cooke plays Mickey Argyll, one
of the many adopted children of
Rachel Argyll (Anna Chancellor),
a wealthy philanthropist who was
battered to death with a crystal
decanter in her country home, the
ludicrously named Sunny Point.
Another of her adopted sons, the
deeply disturbed Jack (Anthony
Boyle), was convicted of her
murder and sent to jail, where he
died. Case closed? Don’t be silly.
Eighteen months later and the
mysterious Dr Arthur Calgary
(Luke Treadaway) turns up at
Sunny Point, claiming to hold the
alibi that proves Jack’s innocence.
He isn’t terribly welcome, not least
because his visit coincides with
the wedding of Mrs Argyll’s griefstricken husband Leo (Bill Nighy)
to his secretary Gwenda Vaughan
(Alice Eve). But Calgary clearly
knows something. And if Jack was
innocent, as he claimed, who did
murder Mrs Argyll?
There are echoes of Hitchcock
and Henry James’s The Turn of
the Screw in Ordeal by Innocence
– fractured minds and damaged
souls festering behind expensive
solve the quaintest of crimes, isn’t
involved – he’d be terrified of this
nasty lot and probably wouldn’t
get out of Sunny Point alive.
The script was
pretty silly, too: ‘A
tweed suit and winter
brogues? In July?! ’
clothes. A discordant soundtrack
and lingering shots of shadowy
corridors complete the effect.
Each of the Argyll siblings is
harbouring demons. Mickey cuts
himself. The oldest daughter,
Mary (Eleanor Tomlinson), has an
abusive husband. Sweet Hester
(Ella Purnell) is a closet drinker.
And why did they all so hate their
adoptive mother? This, then,
is Christie as psychoanalyst,
unpicking a rotten family nest.
Phelps’s adaptation is certainly a
bit OTT. There were far too many
symbolic close ups. A morphine
bottle! A nail in a coffin! A
steaming iron! A dripping summer
pudding! The acting was on the
hammy side, too, though it must
be hard not to ham up the line: “A
tweed suit and winter brogues? In
July?!” Oh, and someone should
really tell Bill Nighy to stop doing
an impression of Bill Nighy.
Even so, Ordeal by Innocence
was a blood-curdling, hair-raising
delight. On reflection, I think it’s a
good thing that gentle old Poirot,
who somehow only ever seems to
I
f you have any idea what’s
going on in The City & The
City, please drop me a line. The
opening of Tony Grisoni’s fourpart adaptation of China Miéville’s
2009 novel was so complicated
it felt almost impenetrable –
although a friend who has read the
book assures me that all becomes
clear and it’s definitely worth the
effort. I hope so, because it looks
stunning, and the cast, led by David
Morrissey and Mandeep Dhillon,
are on irresistible form.
Morrissey plays Inspector
Tyador Borlú who, with the help
of Constable Corwi (Dhillon), is
investigating the murder of a
foreign student in the fictional
eastern European city of Beszul.
But here’s the tricky part. There
is another city, Ul Qoma, which
appears to occupy many of
the same spaces as Besźel. Not
physically, necessarily, but in
some sort of alternative reality.
The two cities and their citizens
coexist without acknowledging
each other – even to look upon the
other city is to commit “Breach”,
an offence for which the secret
police will lock you up. Still
following? Me neither.
But no matter. I was hooked
from the moment Borlú received a
late-night call from one of the dead
student’s friends claiming that she
was murdered “because she found
out the truth”. That “truth” seems
to involve a shady political group
intent on unifying the two cities
and – stranger, still – a third city,
which no one dares talk about.
The City & The City is proper,
grown-up television, which forces
you to concentrate. It’s no good
having it on while you feed the cat.
The pacing is seductive, the mood
hallucinatory. Lights shimmer
off puddles. Rain hammers on
the windows, distorting the view.
Everyone is slightly on edge. And
Morrissey, every bit the grizzled
cop, delivers his lines like a
sermon: “Before ‘Breach’ there
was only blood.” God knows what
that actually means but, strangely,
I can’t stop thinking about it.
9
10
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
T
‘Like a
frightened
lion in a
throng of men’
In the ‘Odyssey’, Penelope is not just a faithful
wife – when it comes to cunning, she outdoes
even Odysseus himself. By Madeline Miller
he hero Odysseus
sits on the shore of
an enchanted island.
Around him wait
lavish comforts, and a
goddess who dotes upon him. Yet
he weeps, his eyes fixed on the
horizon. He yearns for home and
his wife Penelope.
The goddess, Calypso, confronts
him over it. Why can’t he be happy
with her? She is more attractive
than Penelope in every way, and
Penelope is a mortal, who can
never compete with the pleasures
that gods can offer. If he stays,
Calypso will make him a god, too.
Odysseus doesn’t disagree. It’s
true, he says. His wife is nothing
compared to her. And yet, he
wants to go. Penelope is the one
he desires.
In the nearly three millennia
since the Odyssey was composed,
readers and writers alike have
largely agreed with Odysseus, and
embraced Penelope. Ovid made
her the first speaker in his poems
of famous heroines; St Jerome
listed her as one of the pagan
exemplars of virtuous women. In
more modern times, she’s made
appearances as Molly Bloom in
James Joyce’s 1922 Ulysses; in Derek
Walcott’s 1990 Omeros as Maud
Plunkett, and as herself, telling her
own story, in Margaret Atwood’s
2005 novella The Penelopiad.
The outline of Penelope’s story
runs as follows: her husband
Odysseus, prince of Ithaca, sails
for the Trojan War leaving his
young wife alone with their infant
son, Telemachus. Ten years pass,
and the war ends. The other
heroes make their way home, but
Odysseus remains unaccounted
for, and most assume he is dead.
Suitors arrive at Odysseus’s palace,
hoping to marry Penelope. When
she refuses them, they lay siege,
installing themselves in the palace,
consuming the family stores,
and harassing the household.
As a woman alone, she can only
endure until her husband returns,
bringing bloody vengeance
followed by happy reunion.
Even from this abbreviated
account, it’s easy to see why
Penelope is appealing. She’s
manifestly sympathetic: a good
woman hounded by bad men.
She’s also romantic. Ancient
myths are notoriously short on
mutual, non-tragic relationships
and Odysseus and Penelope’s
devotion to one another (affairs
with goddesses aside) is both rare
and affecting. Her loyalty, in the
face of terrible pressure, to a man
who might very well be dead, is
heroic. Even the bitter ghost of
Agamemnon, permanently soured
on women after his wife had him
butchered in the bathtub, admits
she is superlative.
But perhaps the most notable
aspect of Penelope’s appeal is her
intelligence. The adjective Homer
uses to describe her again and
again is periphron, which means
prudent and carefully calculating.
This intelligence is famously
demonstrated by a trick she plays
on the badgering suitors.
She tells them that she will
choose a new husband once she
has finished weaving a shroud for
her father-in-law. Every day she
works on it, and every night she
secretly unravels what she has
done, knowing that the men won’t
have any idea how long it takes
to weave a shroud, nor be able to
judge how much progress is being
made. And so, for three years, she
holds them off. It takes a woman,
one of Penelope’s maids, to betray
her.
Penelope’s intelligence holds its
own when wily Odysseus returns.
After he reveals himself to her,
she remains cautious, wary she
is being deceived, and sets him a
test that only the true Odysseus
could pass. Long ago, Odysseus
had carved their marriage bed
from a living tree, rooted in the
earth. When she orders this bed
to be made up for him outside
their bedroom, Odysseus erupts in
anger, demanding to know how it
can have been moved, and by his
outburst confirms his identity. It’s
a fascinating moment: Homer has
spent the whole poem honouring
his hero’s wiles, but it is his heroine
who plays the final trick.
Despite all that, Penelope has
ABERDEEN ART GALLERY & MUSEUMS COLLECTIONS; GETTY IMAGES
ESSAY
THE ODYSSEY
historically been given second
billing to her flashier husband who,
after all, gets to charm witches,
topple cities, and fight monsters.
Tennyson’s 1842 poem, “Ulysses”,
doesn’t even refer to her by name.
Instead, Odysseus dismisses her as
his “aged wife”, the embodiment
of the world’s dullness which
seeks to enclose him. Meanwhile
he, though also old, retains his
MODERN
MUSE
Penelope and her
Suitors (1912) by
John William
Waterhouse;
below, The
Return of Ulysses,
by Ettore Tito
(1859-1941)
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
11
conspired to play out in front
of her suitors? These were
not scholarly questions, but
they helped me pace out the
boundaries of Penelope’s world.
After Odysseus’s return,
before he has revealed himself,
Penelope publicly confronts
the suitors, telling them that if
they are serious about wooing
her, they should be giving her
more gifts. Watching in disguise,
“Odysseus rejoiced, because she
was procuring gifts from them,
and beguiling their spirits with
honeyed words, while her mind
plotted other things”.
For me this moment felt more
telling than their joyful reunion.
Charming someone with words,
while plotting something else: it’s
hard to find a better description
of Odysseus’s modus operandi.
Odysseus is not distressed by his
wife’s promises to the suitors,
because he instantly recognises –
and appreciates – them as tricks.
Her ability to manipulate people
to her advantage matches his
Every night she
unpicks her work,
guessing that the
men won’t notice
potency and “heroic heart”. Now
that her youth and desirability are
gone, she is no longer of interest.
She drops out of the story, while
the great epic protagonist sails off
on another adventure.
Dorothy Parker incisively
critiques just this double standard
in her 1928 poem “Penelope”:
He shall ride the silver seas,
He shall cut the glittering wave.
I shall sit at home, and rock;
Rise, to heed a neighbor’s knock;
Brew my tea, and snip my thread;
Bleach the linen for my bed.
They will call him brave.
Other authors have sought to
inhabit Penelope’s perspective.
Joyce gives Molly Bloom perhaps
the most famous chapter in
Ulysses, in which she admits to a
sexual encounter – and in doing
so, overturns Penelope’s famous
fidelity.
The poets Carol Ann Duffy and
Louise Gluck likewise create
Penelopes who push back against
the traditional story. In Duffy’s
1999 “Penelope”, Penelope’s
homely weaving becomes an
artistic calling. She happily devotes
The whole poem is
about Odysseus’s
wiles, but his wife
plays the final trick
her life to a glorious tapestry, with
a smiling woman at its centre, who
is “self-contained, absorbed,
content, most certainly not
waiting”.
Gluck, like Joyce, subverts
Penelope’s canonical fidelity.
Just as Odysseus has slept with
Calypso and Circe, so the Penelope
in “Penelope’s Song” (1996)
speaks of doing things with her
“troublesome body” that “you
shouldn’t/ Discuss in poems”.
In Atwood’s The Penelopiad,
meanwhile, when Odysseus
returns home disguised as
a beggar, cagey Penelope
recognises him at once, but keeps
diplomatically mum: “if a man
takes pride in his disguise skills,
it would be a foolish wife who
would claim to recognise him:
it’s always an imprudence to step
between a man and the reflection
of his own cleverness”.
R
ecently, I had my own
chance to spend time with
Penelope. My novel, Circe,
retells the life of the witch Circe
who turns Odysseus’s men to
pigs in the Odyssey, and one of the
many intriguing myths about her
concerns a meeting with Penelope,
long after Odysseus’s visit.
If Penelope is the good woman,
prudent, chaste and obedient to
her husband’s interests, Circe is the
bad one, passionate and seductive,
with the terrifying power to
punish men. Just as I worked to
draw out a fuller Circe from the
ancient anxieties about female
power, so I wanted to explore the
fuller Penelope behind the modest,
model woman.
I sifted through the Odyssey for
a few intriguing details to shape
my portrait. The first came after
Penelope has learned about the
plot against her son, Telemachus.
Homer compares her racing mind
to “a frightened lion in a throng
of men, when they drive him into
a trap”. It is a surprising simile.
In the Iliad and Odyssey, lions
are emblems of great warriors,
and Achilles famously compares
himself to one at the height of
his bloodlust. I had always seen
Penelope as strong-willed, but this
encouraged me to imagine for her
a quiet ferocity.
In an early scene in the Odyssey,
Telemachus rebukes Penelope
for speaking up, proclaiming
himself master of the house and
sending her back to her rooms.
Mary Beard, in her book Women
and Power, aptly glosses this
as “the first recorded example
[in Western literature] of a man
telling a woman to ‘shut up’”. But
as a novelist, I wondered if such
an interaction might arise from
the dynamic of a single mother
and her only son.
Is Telemachus’s harshness an
attempt to throw off what would
be seen as an unmanly intimacy
with his mother? Or could it be
the opposite – some sort of stalling
technique the two of them have
own. They are kindred spirits.
It would be satisfying to end on
that thought: this charming, longsuffering pair, who have found in
each other not only a love, but an
equal. Yet however kindred they
are, they can never be equals.
As a woman, Penelope’s life is
constrictingly defined. Over the
course of his 10-year journey
home, Odysseus faces a wide sea’s
worth of choices. Penelope has
only one: to stay loyal to a man
who is, in all likelihood, dead; or
to take a new husband.
It is her own Scylla and
Charybdis, but unlike Odysseus,
who passes the monsters only
once, it is a path Penelope must
walk anew each day. More than a
simple leap of faith, it is a life of
faith: that she is right, and those
around her are wrong. No wonder
she weeps herself to sleep – she
is being held hostage, and every
morning she must refuse again to
escape, betting on the husband
she hasn’t seen in two decades.
Who is this woman with such
strength to her, such discipline
and gambler’s nerve? Homer
gives us tantalising clues, but it
is up to us to imagine the rest,
her innermost thoughts, the
past that led her to Odysseus,
and the future after his return.
We are drawn to wonder how
she might reckon with the full
arc of her life. Ten years after
Odysseus came home, is she still
glad she waited?
Madeline Miller’s Circe
(Bloomsbury, £16.99) is
out this month
12
***
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
SIMON HEFFER
HINTERLAND
John Betjeman is usually credited with saving the
hotel at St Pancras – but was it really Jane Fawcett?
A
CORBIS VIA GETTY IMAGES
rchitecture is a special
art form because of its
degree of utility. All
art has its uses, of
course. Music and
poetry can address the
soul. A novel or play
can enlighten us
about ideas. The portrait was useful to
medieval despots who could
commission an artist to depict their
bride-to-be before they met (though
Henry VIII was notably aggrieved
when Anne of Cleves did not live up to
her advance billing). In the age before
mass literacy, paintings taught Bible
stories to the Christians. But
architecture is more useful still. Apart
from monuments and follies, most
buildings have a practical, everyday
use as a home, an office or an
institution, as well as being, in some
cases, a work of art.
Our medieval ancestors
consciously built in a way that
celebrated the glory of God: most
obviously in their churches, but the
domestic examples of medieval
buildings that survive, in manor
houses or in Oxbridge colleges, show
the same Gothic idiom. I have
mentioned here before John Ruskin’s
comment at the opening of the
Bradford Wool Exchange in the
1860s, when he asked the city fathers
– who had had the temerity to build
the Exchange in the decadent
Italianate style he abominated rather
than in the more godly Gothic he
venerated – whether they would
rather build as Christians or as
infidels.
One who certainly built as a
Christian was Sir George Gilbert Scott.
Except when forced by Palmerston to
build an Italianate Foreign Office in the
late 1850s, he was one of the foremost
exponents of the Victorian Gothic
revival. Unlike his great
contemporaries who built in the same
style – Street and Bodley – Scott did
focus on churches, though England is
littered with his Early English-style
“middle-pointed” places of worship.
He had begun with workhouses, and
moved on to great institutions, such as
Leeds Infirmary and the Albert
GOTHIC THRILLER
The staircase
of the Midland Grand Hotel, 1860s
Memorial. For all those achievements,
however, one building is pre-eminent
– perhaps the greatest building of the
whole Gothic revival: the Midland
Grand Hotel in London.
It has been in the public
consciousness for the last 50 years, for
British Rail – which then owned it –
wanted, in the mid-Sixties, to pull it
down; and now, after decades as a
mildly sinister Gothic ruin, it is
beautifully restored, and adjoins the
Eurostar terminus. When one stands
on the other side of the Euston Road
and surveys it in all its magnificence, it
almost defies belief that, even in that
barbaric age, when Victorian and
Georgian vernacular buildings were
being pulled down across the country,
a mindless nationalised industry could
want to demolish this. From the spires
and pinnacles of its roof to the tracery
of its windows, and the contrast of its
stone dressings with its red brick, the
building overwhelms.
Scott finished its design in 1867 and
construction began the following year,
finishing in 1876. The hotel was state of
the art, with hydraulic lifts, fireplaces
in the 300 guest rooms and advanced
fireproofing via concrete flooring. He
was unlucky, however, that
specifications for hotels improved so
rapidly; it closed in 1935 and was taken
over by the London Midland and
Scottish Railway, then British Rail.
Sir John Betjeman is usually
credited with having the hotel listed
Grade I, thereby thwarting BR’s desire
to reduce it to rubble; but the praise
should really go to Jane Fawcett,
secretary of the Victorian Society at
the time, who orchestrated a militant
campaign to save it. She was a
remarkable woman, having been a
Bletchley codebreaker – her work led
to the sinking of the Bismarck – and an
opera singer before devoting herself
to conservation.
Mrs Fawcett would approve of the
restoration of the hotel, now aptly (if
naffly) named St Pancras Renaissance
Hotel. While the impression one gains
from the outside of this great Gothic
palace is overwhelming enough, the
standard of most of the interior
restoration is astonishing. The
developers found remnants of rare
wallpaper in one room and had the
entire room papered with it, at a cost of
£47,000. The great interior feature is
the massive staircase, which curves up
the building and is one of the last of its
type built.
Scott’s meticulous decoration has
also been restored: friezes of fleurs-delys on the inside and chromatic
brickwork outside, easily glimpsed
when one heads to the restored station
to catch the Eurostar. That the hotel is
back in its original use, and that much
of the rest of the building has been
converted into apartments, is pleasing
because it means that the St Pancras
Hotel is once again, after decades of
hibernation, architecture at its most
sublime: both beautiful and useful.
13
14
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
FILM
MOVIES FOR CHILDREN
AGE IS JUST
A NUMBER
Laurel and
Hardy, left, were
enormous hits;
Jaden Michael,
Oakes Fegley
and Julianne
Moore, right, in
Wonderstruck
How to find a film
your child will love
From Laurel and Hardy to
‘Suffragette’ – a guide to the
unexpected cinematic tastes
of the YouTube generation
ROBBIE
COLLIN
‘I
s this a scary film?” my
three-year-old son
asked me the other
morning, holding up a
copy of Chinatown
he’d found in the spare bedroom.
“Yes, very scary,” I said in a
low voice.
He immediately brightened.
“Is there a whale in it?”
“No,” I said. “There isn’t a
whale in it.”
“Oh. Is there a dragon in it?”
“No, there isn’t a dragon in it
either.”
“Oh.” The brightness had
faded. “Well, what’s so scary
about it then?”
Not much fancying explaining
existential torpor, fathomless
civic corruption and, well, the
rest of it to a three-year-old, I
changed the subject. But I was
impressed by his curiosity.
Clean-cut cases like this one
aside, gauging which films are
right for children can be a tricky
business, in terms of both
suitability and taste. From
heart-rending personal
experience, I know that kids can
flee the room mere seconds into a
paternal favourite like, say, Albert
Lamorisse’s The Red Balloon,
claiming paralysing boredom, then
stare entranced for the best part of
an hour at an anonymous pair of
hands cracking open Kinder eggs
on YouTube.
Perhaps that’s why trustworthy
film brands seem to count for more
than ever: with Pixar, Aardman,
DreamWorks and the Minionsriddled Illumination
Entertainment, you know at least
roughly what you’re going to get.
But it also means that when a great
children’s film comes along that
doesn’t fit into a familiar comfort
zone, we often don’t quite know
what to do with it.
In the UK, one arrives in
cinemas for the Easter break:
Wonderstruck, Todd Haynes’s
adaptation of the Brian Selznick
novel about two deaf children, one
living in the Twenties, the other in
the Seventies, who make an
improbable connection with one
another across time and space.
Wonderstruck sits snugly alongside
Haynes’s other work – stunning
films such as Carol, I’m Not There
and Velvet Goldmine, all centred on
characters wrestling with their
own identities, and their place in
the great order of things with it.
But Carol, I’m Not There and
Velvet Goldmine aren’t exactly kids’
stuff – which is perhaps why, when
Wonderstruck was released last
October in the United States, it was
sold primarily as an Oscar
contender, in the same way as
Martin Scorsese’s Hugo and
J A Bayona’s A Monster Calls, two
more recent sophisticated films for
younger viewers. In Wonderstruck’s
case, the strategy didn’t pay off: it
had barely scraped together
$1 million by Christmas.
When I sit down with Haynes,
there is no question about it: a
children’s film is what he made.
“I’d never done a movie that was
directed at younger audiences, and
that was the reason I wanted to do
it,” he says. “I wanted to give kids
something of value, something
beautiful, rich and complicated,
and say this is for you, and I think
you deserve it and can handle it.”
Even the book on which
Haynes’s film is based is cinematic
to its spine. Selznick also wrote the
novel that became Hugo, in which
a young Parisian boy encounters
the movie pioneer George Méliès,
and his passion for silent film
comes through just as powerfully
in Wonderstruck – particularly in
the Twenties strand, which Haynes
shot in black and white, with no
audible dialogue.
But silence plays a central role in
each of Wonderstruck’s time
periods. In its lengthy, Seventiesset centrepiece sequence, the
The Red Balloon is
‘boring’ but they’ll
watch an hour-long
film of Kinder eggs
young protagonist Ben (Oakes
Fegley) arrives in New York,
explores the city, makes a friend,
then plays hide-and-seek in the
museum, almost entirely without
dialogue. It’s mesmerisingly
beautiful, and subtly crafted and
played – and could theoretically be
fully understood by any child aged
three and up.
But does that mean they’ll
necessarily go for it in the
moment? Danny Leigh, senior
curator at the British Film
Institute, sounds a note of caution.
“It’s a beautiful idea that
viewers of every age can be
brought together by the same
visual narrative, but in practice
that’s often not how it works,” he
tells me. “The same applies to The
Red Balloon: it’s a classic in the
canon of children’s cinema, but if
you show a contemporary
audience of kids a small child
following a balloon through the
streets of Paris,
they will not
necessarily take
to it in the same
way as adults
who saw it as
children did.”
This makes
me feel a little
better about my
own boys’ lack
of interest in the
Lamorisse film,
but does it mean
children today
simply don’t
have the
capacity to soak
up a venerable
classic? Far from
it, according to Leigh. “The truth
is, the average eight or nine-yearold today has a more sophisticated
understanding of the moving
image than we do,” he says. “In our
childhoods we were engaged with
moving images when we watched
TV, whereas now it’s everywhere.
If you’re eight or nine, the moving
image is your primary language.”
As the founding programme
manager of the educational charity
that became Into Film, which runs
school film clubs and cinema
screenings for children aged five to
19, Leigh knows whereof he speaks.
In the charity’s early days, he
quickly noticed that any title more
than three or four years old was
approached by young audiences as
an “old film” – even something as
recent as Shrek (2001).
“If you’re eight or nine, any film
that was made more than 10 years
ago is prehistoric,” he says. But
Leigh discovered an unforeseen
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
MARY CYBULSKI; ALAMY; AP
brought
children into his
test screenings,
and asked them
to feed back on
which parts of
the film were
working and
which weren’t.
“Their
observations
were often so
specific, literally
to a cut, it was
astounding,” the director says.
“There were times when they told
us everything we needed to know
without even being asked.”
The experience was enough to
defuse Haynes’s concerns that the
audio-visual bombardment of
modern culture was somehow
numbing children to what cinema
can do, given space to breathe.
“We all tend to think
pessimistically that they must have
less patience, and less curiosity to
stay put,” he says. “And that might
be true for some kids. But I just
upside: children would engage
with almost 100-year-old films just
as enthusiastically as those from a
decade ago. And black and white
comedies – particularly those
starring Laurel and Hardy, Buster
Keaton and the Marx Brothers –
were enormous hits.
“You would think the children
would have seen them as
impossibly old and creaky,” he
o minute
says. “But after a two-minute
period where they were baffled
and slightly hostile, a house would
n, or
fall on Buster Keaton,
Harpo Marx would pull a
his
face, and you’d see this
old, with
beautiful scene unfold,
laughter spreading around the
room at something that was made
in 1928.”
Into Film’s annuall festival for
young cinemagoers puts these
o practice. The
kind of findings into
2017 edition, which staged free
nts at more
screenings and events
ound the UK
than 600 venues around
ned with
last November, opened
osed with
Paddington 2 and closed
o featured
Pixar’s Coco, but also
p titles
notionally grown-up
such as The Florida Project,
ng
and classics including
indow.
Hitchcock’s Rear Window.
y often
In fact, the charity
de film
struggles to persuade
ves that
companies themselves
their latest releases are
child-friendly – not least
because marketing them as
such can be an easy way to
nces.
turn off adult audiences.
n films
“We’ve often seen
g on
and wanted to go big
rd ‘I don’t
them, and have heard
rily one
think this is necessarily
BELIEVE
IT OR NOT
The charity Into
Film found that
children loved
Suffragette,
starring Carey
Mulligan, below;
The Red Balloon,
left, was sadly a
turn off
for you’,” Into Film’s Sarah Wilby
tells me. “We’ve had to argue the
case that we do know what our
young audiences can manage.
Some distributors recognise the
sophistication of the young
audience – particularly secondary
school-age children – while others
play it a lot safer than they should.”
I asked Into Film’s team of
curators which recent titles had
p
struck a particular
chord with
v
younger viewers.
Three of the top
four were period dramas marketed
to adults – Their Finest, Suffragette
Journey’s End – while the
and Journ
fourth wa
was a South African film
Fel a comic drama about
called Felix,
y from a poor township who
a boy
wins a sch
scholarship to study music
at an elite private school. Felix had
never bee
been officially picked up for
UK release.
relea
For Leigh, the adult
retice
reticence often comes from a
good place. “We are so
nerv
nervous
about what kids can
han
handle in terms of sex,
vio
violence, bad language and
bad examples that we push
them downwards,” he says.
“But there are all kinds of
stori they’ll engage with,
stories
give the chance. Isle of
given
Dogs – the new Wes
Dogs”
Ande
Anderson
stop-motion
anim
animation – “seems like an
obvio
obvious film to screen to 12
and 113-year-olds, not least
beca
because it will also play to
thei
their parents and hip older
bro
brother
or sister. But it’s not
fa
a family
film in that sugary,
sli
slightly
chore-like sense.”
While editing
W
Wonderstruck,
Haynes
TIMING
IT RIGHT
Asa Butterfield
played Hugo
Cabret in Martin
Scorsese’s 2011
film Hugo
Wonderstruck
is out now
15
kept learning the contrary. They
see so much, from so many more
sources, and take it in so rapidly.
Yet they’re able to channel it.”
Leigh goes even further: for
him, something revolutionary is
afoot. “Particularly with
YouTube, some of the materials
kids are drawn to can feel
apocalyptic to parents, because
they seem so meaningless,” he
says. “But in a sense, things are
coming full circle. You can look at
the history of cinema as the
taming of the moving image
– directors harnessed it in order
to tell stories.
“But now kids watch things
with no story at all, where the
moving image is a pleasure and a
positive force in and of itself. So
the real conundrum is what the
films will look like that are made
by this coming generation – the
ones who’ve grown up watching
Wonderstruck and Kinder egg
unwrapping videos.” The results
might make The Red Balloon look
like child’s play.
16
***
S
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
YOU R W E E K LY GU I D E
The
Critical
List
What to see
pages 18-19
Album reviews
page 20
1.
Adam Penford’s
regime at Nottingham
Playhouse has got off
to a flying start, and
Louis Sachar’s
adaptation of his 1998
novel – about a boy
sent to a juvenile
corrections facility
and told to dig a hole
a day – can only boost
the buzz.
Nottingham
Playhouse (0115 941
9419), until April 22
THEATRE
Holes
2.
The One Direction
drea
dreamboat has made
a rea
real effort to
esta
establish musical
cred
credibility with a
selfself-titled retro
singer-songwriter
sing
solo album and
intimate shows
intim
featu
featuring his
Americana band. But
Ame
will he triumph in
Britain’s arenas?
Brita
Genting Arena,
Gent
Birmingham
Birm
(harrystylestour.com),
(har
tonight,, and touring
tonig
MUSIC
Harry
Styles
4.
5.
Monet &
Architecture
English
ish
onal
National
et:
Ballet:
es of
Voices
rica
America
ART
The great
impressionist’s first
big London
exhibition in 20
years is also the first
anywhere on his
DANCE
NCE
fascination with
architecture.
National Gallery,
London WC2
(0800 912 6958),
Mon-July 29
3.
OPERA
Lady
Macbeth of
Mtsensk
Shostakovich’s
tragicomedy is
revived in Richard
Jones’s production.
Royal
Roy Opera House,
Lon
London
WC2 (020
7304
730 4000), ThursApril
Apr 27
An
new, US-themed
mixed bill. Alongside
mix
the first creation by
William Forsythe for
Wil
aU
UK ballet company
than 20
in more
m
years, Voices of
yea
America will see ENB
Am
tackle Forsythe’s 2016
tac
piece Approximate
pie
Son
Sonata, Jerome
Rob
Robbins’s fierce
pitt
pitting of two male
dan
dancers against 14
fem
females, The Cage, as
well
wel as a version of
Asz
Aszure
Barton’s
Fan
Fantastic
Beings.
Sadler’s
Wells,
Sad
London
EC1 (020 7863
Lon
800 Thurs-April 21
8000),
17
18
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
THE CRITICAL LIST
WHAT TO SEE
COMEDY
by Rupert Hawksley
ROB AUTON:
THE HAIR SHOW
Auton hasn’t cut his hair or
his beard since September
2016 – all in the name of
art, of course. In the latest
of his offbeat, peculiarly
lyrical shows, he explores
how appearance affects the
way people respond to you.
Soho Theatre, London W1
(robauton.co.uk), Monnext Sat, and touring
LEE KYLE: FOLLY
This eccentric former
wrestler is conducting an
experiment: “What happens
if you do a tour while not
actually being famous?” No
idea, but I’m keen to find out.
The Stand Comedy Club,
Edinburgh (imleekyle.com),
Weds, and touring
COUNT ARTHUR STRONG
IS ALIVE AND UNPLUGGED
The showbiz gent (the
alter-ego of sexagenarian
Steve Delaney) dodders on,
dispensing artful piffle.
Lyceum Theatre, Crewe
(countarthurstrong.com),
Thurs, and touring
YOUR MOVE
Olivia Cooke
and Anya
Taylor-Joy star
in the black
comedy thriller
Thoroughbreds
OPERA
by Rupert Christiansen
ARIADNE AUF NAXOS
Strauss and Hofmannsthal’s
playful disquisition on the
nature of love is presented
by Scottish Opera in a new
staging directed by Antony
McDonald.
Festival Theatre,
Edinburgh (0131 0529
6000), tonight
THE MARRIAGE
OF FIGARO
Fiona Shaw’s hyperactive
staging is revived with an
interesting new cast
including Lucy Crowe and
Ashley Riches.
London Coliseum, WC2
(020 7845 9300), until
April 14
MACBETH
Anna Netrebko and Anna
Pirozzi alternate as Lady
Macbeth for this revival of
Verdi’s masterpiece.
Royal Opera House, London
WC2 (020 7304 4000),
tonight and Tues
DANCE
CLASSICAL & JAZZ
by Mark Monahan
NORTHERN BALLET
Created in 2016 by
choreographer Cathy
Marston, Jane Eyre
continues on its rounds,
bringing Brontë’s
masterpiece vividly to life.
Sheffield Lyceum (0114
249 6000), Tues-next Sat,
and touring until June
by Ivan Hewett
BIRMINGHAM
ROYAL BALLET
Produced by Peter Wright,
BRB’s production of the
19th-century caper Coppélia
is a tried-and-tested treat,
great fun for adults and their
little darlings alike.
Sunderland Empire (0844
871 3022), tonight
BOOK NOW:
ROYAL BALLET
A new triple bill that seems
to have something for
everyone, including the first
revival of Wayne McGregor’s
2016 piece Obsidian Tear.
Royal Opera House, London
WC2 (020 7304 4000), in
rep next Sat-May 11
ACADEMY OF
ANCIENT MUSIC
Saint and Sinner pairs two
composers. The saint is
Joseph Haydn, London’s
favourite composer in the
1790s, and a model of
propriety; the sinner was his
contemporary Jan Dussek,
serial seducer, sharp
businessman, and as this
concert will prove,
remarkably good composer.
West Road Concert Hall,
Cambridge (aam.co.uk),
Thurs; Milton Court Concert
Hall, London EC1, Fri
IAN SIEGAL
Ian Siegal is touring his
latest album All the Rage.
The title refers tongue-incheek to his own status, but
the angry songs make clear
the real target is what he
calls the “seemingly endless
injustices in the world”.
The Jazz Café, London
NW1 (iansiegal.com), Weds,
and touring
THEATRE
by Dominic Cavendish
BRIGHTON ROCK
Howards
End redux
A pacy and inventive
touring version of the
Graham Greene thriller – a
feather in the cap of adaptor
Bryony Lavery and director
Esther Richardson.
Birmingham Repertory
Theatre (0121 236 4455),
Tues-Sat, and touring
THE INHERITANCE
Matthew Lopez’s New York
epic about gay lives present
and past riffs off E M
Forster’s 1910 novel
Howards End to spin a
satisfying, funny, moving
yarn that weaves in insights
about the Aids epidemic.
Vanessa Redgrave stars but
it’s an ensemble marvel,
directed by Stephen Daldry.
Young Vic, London SE1 (020
7922 2922), until May 19
THE FANTASTIC FOLLIES
OF MRS RICH
A welcome chance to see
Mary Pix’s Restoration
comedy about a moneyed
widow (Sophie Stanton) who
AGNES COLANDER
MAD ABOUT THE BOY
Andrew Burnap stars in
The Inheritance
is angling to marry a foppish
knight in the fond hope of
moving into the beau monde.
A spirited and stylish revival.
RSC Swan, Stratford upon
Avon (01789 403493), until
June 14
Harley Granville Barker’s
1900 play, about a painter
called Agnes (Naomi
Frederick) who is caught
between three men, has
been resuscitated by Trevor
Nunn with Colin Chambers
and playwright Richard
Nelson. It hangs together as
a period curiosity from the
early days of emancipation.
Ustinov Studio, Theatre
Royal Bath (01225 448844),
until next Sat
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
19
CINEMA
by Tim Robey
No horsing
around
THOROUGHBREDS
Two privileged white girls
(Olivia Cooke and Anya
Taylor-Joy) conspire to
bump off the latter’s
stepfather in this pristinely
vicious debut from Cory
Finley. It also enlists one of
the final performances from
the late Anton Yelchin as a
hapless accomplice.
15 cert, 93 min
LOVE, SIMON
A mainstream American
teen comedy about coming
out wouldn’t have been
thinkable a decade or two
ago. But the main goal of this
casually breakthrough
movie isn’t to stand out, but
fit in – so the dilemma of
Simon (Nick Robinson) plays
out against a classic highschool romcom backdrop.
12A cert, 110 min
A QUIET PLACE
A mercilessly effective
post-apocalyptic thriller
directed by and starring
John Krasinski, alongside
Emily Blunt. In a wellstocked hideout, they and
their brood are lying low to
elude scavenging aliens.
15 cert, 90 min
GHOST STORIES
Adapting their hit West
End play and throwing in a
boatload of extra twists in
the process, Jeremy Dyson
and Andy Nyman serve up
a British chiller with style
and substance.
15 cert, 98 min
EXHIBITIONS
By Mark Hudson and Alastair Sooke
I do like to be
beside the sea
THE GREAT
BRITISH SEASIDE
GIGS
Unreliable weather, hordes
of people, rickety beach
huts. What’s not to like?
This is a spellbinding
photography exhibition
– featuring new work by
Martin Parr – documenting
how we British spend leisure
time at our fraying coastline.
National Maritime Museum,
London SE10 (020 8858
4422), until Sept 30
ARCADE FIRE
DAMIEN HIRST AT
HOUGHTON HALL
by Neil McCormick
The sprawling, fiercely
committed Canadian
ensemble bring the sci-fi
grooves from their latest
album, Everything Now, onto
arena floors.
Manchester Arena
(everythingnow.com),
tomorrow, and touring
EN VOGUE
A three-piece version of
American vocal R’n’B group
bring on the Nineties hits,
including Don’t Let Go, and
preview comeback album
Electric Café.
Manchester Academy
(envoguemusic.com),
tonight, and touring
BRYAN FERRY
The Roxy Music crooner still
looks like a matinee idol and
leads a big ensemble whose
sinuous sound effortlessly
encompasses jazz, R’n’B,
disco and sci-fi rock.
St David’s Hall, Cardiff
(bryanferry.com), Mon
and touring
The arrival of Hirst’s
colossal sculptures and spot
paintings amid Houghton
Hall’s baroque splendour
has divided critical opinion,
but it’s the tastefulness of
this meeting of Sixties Op
Art-flavoured canvases and
sumptuous country house-
RIDDLE OF THE SANDS
Martin Parr’s Broadstairs, 1986
style that disconcerts most.
Houghton Hall, Norfolk
(01485 528 569), until July 15
traumatic present.
Trafalgar Square, London
WC2
FOURTH PLINTH
JOAN JONAS
Chicago sculptor Michael
Rakowitz’s Fourth Plinth
sculpture, representing an
ancient Assyrian bull god
statue destroyed by Isil in
2015, manages to refer both
to Iraq’s glorious past and its
The American artist who
pioneered video art in the
Sixties has her biggest UK
show to date.
Tate Modern, London SE1
(020 7887 8888), until
Aug 5
20
***
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
S
THE CRITICAL LIST
ALBUM REVIEWS
POP
by Neil McCormick
GOLDEN
Kylie Minogue
BMG
ÌÌÌÌÌ
“When I go out, I wanna
go out dancing,” sings
Kylie Minogue on the
opening track of Golden.
With the cowled figure
of Death as her dancing
partner, the lyric is offered
in cheeky defiance of the
limitations of age and
encroaching mortality.
Kylie Minogue is
49. Golden is her 14th
album. She has had an
extraordinarily long run
for someone operating in
the most superficial strand
of popular music: fizzy,
hook- laden, dance-oriented
chart pop. Almost all of her
Eighties contemporaries
have long since been
relegated to package
nostalgia tours. Her role
model Madonna, at 59, is the
only veteran female dance
pop star who still exerts this
kind of headline fascination,
(albeit with greater artistry
and a global reach that
makes Kylie’s success look
parochial).
In her British power
base, we still avidly follow
Kylie’s travails through
cancer, chemotherapy
and broken engagements,
taking heart when she
bounces back smiling. And
for someone with a small
voice and negligible musical
skills, she really has proved
astonishingly durable, in
part because she is wily
enough to keep pushing her
brand into new territory.
The twist this time is that
she has gone to Nashville,
infusing her glitterball pop
with some country grit. It’s
Rhinestone Kylie, Cowgirl
Minogue. It is a good move
for her, effectively pulling a
reverse Taylor Swift, shifting
from direct competition
with the digital generation to
plug into a rootsy aesthetic
amenable to her ageing
fanbase.
Apart from the smattering
of country inflections,
there are no great surprises
in store. But the ballads
Radio On and Music’s Too
Sad Without You suit the
emotional intimacy Kylie
can conjure when she
sings soft and close to the
microphone, and there are a
couple of cute driving songs,
A Lifetime to Repair and
Shelby ’68. “I’d be lying if I
said I always chose what was
good,” she confesses on the
latter, jumping into a sports
car with another handsome
cad, all too aware it is bound
to end badly. Playing out
escapism with consequences
might be middle-aged Kylie’s
main appeal for her fans: she
does it so you don’t have to.
For only the second time
in her career, Kylie has
contributed extensively to
the songwriting. Frankly,
she is not going to win any
poetry prizes with “Infinity
COWGIRL
Kylie Minogue has
done a reverse
Taylor Swift,
going from pop
to country
GETTY IMAGES FOR AMFAR
Kylie adds
country grit
to her glitter
She won’t win any
poetry prizes for
her lyric ‘Infinity
goes on forever’
goes on forever” but to
her credit she rises to the
challenge of country music’s
tradition of confessional
lyrics, and these songs
do feel like an authentic
snapshot of a woman coping
bravely with repeated
heartbreak and choosing a
joyful life. “And when the
final curtain falls/ We can
say we did it all,” proclaims
the effervescent icon on
Dancing. In pop terms at
least, Kylie has done more
than anyone would have
ever thought possible.
(including a pioneering
use of the saxophone in
the instrumental palette):
with good reason, Wagner
detested its superficiality
and tricksiness, but there
is no escaping the fact that
he, like Berlioz and Verdi,
emulated it in certain
respects – Lohengrin, Les
Troyens and Don Carlos all
bear marks of its influence
and aspire to its success
with the public. And rather
like some trashy television
series, it exerts an inexorable
hold on one’s attention, even
as one despises its vulgarity.
The recording emanates
from staged performances
last year at the AaltoMusiktheater in Essen. The
orchestral playing under
Giuliano Carella is excellent.
The singing is not on the
same level, though the
chorus is stirring and the
American tenor John Osborn
is splendidly confident as
the titular prophet, John
of Leyden.
The weak spot,
unfortunately, is Marianne
Cornetti, wayward of pitch
and strident of tone in
the crucial role of John’s
forceful mother Fidès,
whose boldly expressed
emotions are the opera’s
most powerful element,
adumbrating the maternal
intensity of Azucena in
Verdi’s Il trovatore.
However, all lovers
of 19th-century opera
will find something to
fascinate, impress or
charm them here, and
the recording serves as an
honourable replacement
for a now out-of-print
version with Placido
Domingo and Marilyn
Horne that didn’t reflect
Meyerbeer’s original
intentions.
ALSO RELEASED
‹ Manic Street Preachers
Resistance is Futile (Sony)
‹ Cardi B
Invasion of Privacy
(Atlantic)
‹ Eels
The Deconstruction
(E Works)
CLASSICAL
by Rupert Christiansen
Blockbuster
makes a virtue
of vulgarity
Theatres
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&KDULQJ&URVV7KHDWUHFRXN
MEYERBEER:
LE PROPHÈTE
Essen
Philharmonic
Orchestra; cond
Giuliano Carella
Oehms Classics
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Here is a real collectors’
item: the first full recording
in an uncorrupted text of an
operatic blockbuster that
enjoyed sensational and
widespread popularity
throughout the second half
of the 19th century, before it
fell radically out of fashion
in the wake of Wagnerism.
Based on the history of
John of Leyden and the
doomed Anabaptist revolt
against Catholic imperialism
in Münster in the 1530s, Le
Prophète (1849) ranks with its
predecessor Les Huguenots
as perhaps Meyerbeer’s
grandest achievement – a
work of enormous scope
and ambition, full of violent
dramatic incident and
opportunities for visual
spectacle, including the
pageantry of a magnificent
coronation scene, several
extended choral tableaux,
a massive climactic
conflagration and an
enchanting skaters’ ballet
(an episode in the score later
appropriated by Frederick
Ashton for Les Patineurs).
The music is unabashedly
showy, a cunning
assemblage of shortwinded tunes, easy clichés,
highly coloured effects
and striking gimmicks
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
21
22
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Books
When the
brain rebels
Steven Poole on the mystery
of seizures, from a patient
who sees dwarfs to one who
feels forced to run into traffic
BRAINSTORM
by Suzanne
O’Sullivan
352pp, Chatto & Windus,
£16.99, ebook £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
A
young woman enters a
neurologist’s office
because, periodically,
she will abruptly stand
up and run away from
whatever she is doing, heedless
of obstacles or traffic. People
initially thought it was a
psychological problem; now
they’re not so sure. The doctor,
our narrator, brings her into
hospital for observation. The first
time she bolts from the room so
quickly the CCTV cameras catch
nothing and the cable connecting
the EEG electrodes to her head
snaps. But eventually the doctor
collects enough evidence to be
sure: the woman has epilepsy.
Epilepsy is Suzanne
O’Sullivan’s specialty, and it
affects around 600,000 people
in the UK alone. This book about
its many forms, following on
from her prize-winning book
about psychosomatic illness, It’s
All in Your Head, is a
tremendously interesting work
of medical humanity.
As her dramatisations of cases
attest, diagnosis is as much an art
form as it was in the 19th century,
requiring a keen attention to
what she calls “the flavour and
details of a story”. A large part of
her clinical expertise, in fact, is a
kind of close reading of physical
signs: “seizure semiology” is the
term of art for interpreting
unusual behaviour to infer where
in the brain the trouble might be.
The hi-tech tests — fMRI to
image brain structures, EEG to
measure its electrical activity
— are invaluable, but they can
be misleading “at least 30 per
cent of the time”. Besides,
O’Sullivan emphasises, such
scans “tell us nothing at all
about how well the brain is
functioning. They cannot
determine how organised you
are, how even-tempered, how
good at planning, how creative.”
The clinical meeting is still
fundamentally a meeting of two
human beings, and O’Sullivan is
alert to the particularly elusive
nature of her patients’ illness: “It
must be so strange to have a
disease in which the only person
who is not really present for its
appearance is you.”
Each case is a short story in its
own right, as we watch
O’Sullivan’s first conversation
with her patient, and then
witness observations and tests in
hospital, analyse the test data,
and finally wait to see if the
recommended course of
treatment works. Often it does:
medication or brain surgery can
eliminate some people’s seizures
completely. (“And she hasn’t
missed any part of that absent
piece of brain,” O’Sullivan writes
cutely of one post-operative
success.)
But there are also patients she
can’t help. Of one, she writes sadly:
“We were pouring drugs into her
and her brain was reacting as if the
drugs were as inert as water.” Of
another, who suffered irreversible
brain damage leading to
Some seizures have no
outward signs except
goose-pimples. Others
can stop the heart
personality changes, she reveals: “I
was stuck on a treadmill that
doctors often find themselves on. I
knew I couldn’t change Mike back
to how he had been. In desperation
I was still looking for something to
fix.”
As the book details, there is an
astonishing variety of ways in
which our rational organ can
stormily rebel. Seizures can induce
the loss of speech or “forced
involuntary speech”. Muscles can
jerk or they can totally lose
strength, leading to sudden
collapse. People in seizures might
be lying on the ground jerking or
they might be apparently
functioning. Some seizures have no
outward signs at all except
goose-pimples; another patient’s
heart stops every time he has a
seizure, reminding us of the brain’s
role in automatically governing all
our internal organs.
There are highly specific
subgenres of the disease. As well as
photogenic epilepsy (brought on
by flashing lights), there is also
something called “musicogenic
epilepsy”, in which the brain
cannot tolerate a particular type of
music, say that emitted by Ed
Sheeran, or even a particular chord
or note.
Epilepsy might be highly
undesirable, but it is not
necessarily a totally negative curse.
Some patients report that their
episodes are preceded by a feeling
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
23
INSIDE
Why do dictators write
so many books? page 24
French history – but
only the fun bits page 26
Try the Mesopotamian
Ian Fleming page 28
GETTY IMAGES
One sufferer has
the sensation of
shrinking during
her seizures
like Alice in
Wonderland
of tremendous well-being, even
ecstasy. It is thought that
Dostoevsky had such “auras” and
lent them to Prince Myshkin in The
Idiot; likewise, it is these days
suspected that Joan of Arc’s
religious hallucinations were
brought on by seizures.
Meanwhile, one of O’Sullivan’s
patients describes her odd feeling
Steven Poole’s Rethink: The
Surprising History of New Ideas
is published by Random House
(£9.99). Call 0844871 1514 to
order Brainstorm for £13.59
The book opens with a memory
of sitting alone in a bar on
Colombia’s Caribbean coast, where
she is enjoying a plate of coconut
rice and fish. Levy does not explain
what brings her here, but she likes
good food and is often on the
move; most of the events in The
Cost of Living take place on planes,
trains, automobiles or her new
electric bike. On a nearby table a
young girl is telling a man with
long, grey hair about a traumatic
swimming experience. The man
doesn’t listen (“You talk a lot don’t
you?”), but Levy listens. Swimming
stories interest her, and she is
adept at reading between the lines:
“Although her story was about
surfacing from a dive to discover
the weather had changed, it
was also about some sort of
undisclosed hurt”.
What happens in these pages is
also about changing weather and
undisclosed hurt. While the
weather is both internal and
external, we learn nothing about
what went wrong in her marriage.
Levy’s quality as an autobiographer
lies not in what she says about
herself, but in what she notices in
other people. Overhearing
exchanges and seeing things from
the corner of her eye, Levy threads
these snippets together in the style
of free association. On one
occasion, sitting in the back of a
car, she notes her fellow passenger
writing down on a piece of paper
“Tomatoes, avocados, lemons,
limes”. Sharing her table on
Eurostar with a girl learning
French from a basic language
Deborah
Levy is
watching you
Frances Wilson admires
the acute observations in this
memoir made up of offbeat
encounters with strangers
THE COST OF LIVING
by Deborah Levy
208pp, Hamish Hamilton,
£12.99, ebook £7.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
I
n 2013’s Things I Don’t
Want to Know, the first
instalment of what the
playwright, poet and
novelist Deborah Levy
calls her “living autobiography”,
she found herself in a snowbound
hotel in Majorca sharing a bottle of
wine with a Chinese shopkeeper.
Conversations with shopkeepers
feature in the second instalment,
too, but the shopkeeper in Majorca
led Levy to reflect on why she
writes, which takes her back to her
childhood in South Africa where
her father was a political prisoner,
the family’s exile to London in the
late Sixties, and the recent
breakdown of her marriage.
“Writing made me feel wiser than I
actually was”, she explains. “Wise
and sad. That was what I thought
writers should be. I was sad
anyway, much sadder than the
sentences I wrote.”
The Cost of Living describes
Levy’s post-marriage experience of
“dissolving and recomposing.”
Having left the family home, she
moves with her teenaged daughter
to a flat at the top of a hill in north
London where the heating doesn’t
work and the natives are hostile.
Still sad, and needing somewhere
to write, she rents a shed in a
friend’s garden, which she shares
with a shuddering freezer and the
ashes of a much-loved Labrador.
If Things I Don’t Want to Know
was an updated version of Virginia
Woolf ’s feminist classic, A Room of
One’s Own, then The Cost of Living
might be subtitled “A Shed of One’s
Own”. In this shed Levy produced
the second of her two Bookershortlisted novel, Hot Milk, and
both volumes of memoirs, for
which she taught herself to write in
the first person, “using an ‘I’ that is
close to myself and yet not myself.’’
A black-cab driver
confides to her that he
communicates with
aliens via cashpoints
programme, Levy “glanced at
her screen… and saw a note
that told her French has two
grammatical genders, masculine
and feminine; a woman was
feminine, and so was a chair,
while hair was masculine”. She
hands these observations over
to us without comment, like
postcards from the edge.
Levy’s life is composed of
encounters – with girls on trains,
birds on the balcony and bees in
the bedroom: “I have always had
encounters with bees”, she
explains, “and often wondered
why the main protagonists of
fairy tales set in woods and
forests are rarely bitten and stung
by insects”. On the same Eurostar
in which the girl is learning her
French genders, Levy sits
opposite a man who is returning
to Paris to collect a pair of his
wife’s shoes, left in a hotel room.
They are medical shoes because
one of her legs is shorter than the
other, and when she is not
wearing them, the man explains,
he is unable to hear her footsteps
– which is “a bit nerve-racking’.
He is currently, he tells Levy,
listening out for the footsteps of
migrants on the roof of the train.
Earlier, a black-cab driver told
Levy that he communicated with
aliens through cashpoints, which
reminded me of the cab driver in
Things I Don’t Want to Know, who
she suspects might be blind.
Levy is concerned with
locating the “minor characters”
and “major characters” in her
stories, but she draws herself as
a comic character. We see her
whizzing up the hill on her
e-bike, the chicken for supper
falling beneath the tyres of a
four-wheel drive, sitting through
a swanky production meeting
with leaves in her hair, avoiding
the eye of the hotel manageress
who she caught earlier crying in
the laundry.
Wise, subtle and ironic, Levy is
a brilliant writer. Not only are her
sentences less sad than she is,
each one is a small masterpiece of
clarity and poise. That shed
should be endowed with a blue
plaque.
WISE
WORDS
Deborah Levy
SHEILA BURNETT
RABBIT
HOLE
that objects are shrinking and the
ground sloping away under her
feet as her Alice in Wonderland
moments.
Such visual illusions, when
things appear bigger or smaller
than they really are, are often
associated with temporal-lobe
epilepsy. And Lewis Carroll himself
suffered mysterious episodes of
loss of consciousness. O’Sullivan is
careful to point out the limitations
of trying to diagnose famous
people from history, but in the end
she does suggest that Carroll
himself might have had epilepsy, in
which case his books are a
wonderful transmutation of neural
chaos into orderly art.
O’Sullivan’s work also has social
and political implications. Given
that we know so much about how
mind and body are inextricably
interdependent, she points out, it
is an institutional absurdity that
“many health services treat the two
as if they were unrelated”. She also
emphasises how unfair life can be
to her patients, owing to the
normal ignorance of other people.
“A person might be very severely
disabled by brain disease,” she
points out, “without having any
physical impairment at all.
Invisible disability can be very
difficult for people to appreciate.”
Certainly her wonderfully humane
book should help. On a hopeful
note, O’Sullivan points to emerging
medical technologies such as
mind-controlled prosthetic limbs,
or the potential use of computercontrolled lasers or ultrasound for
non-invasive brain surgery.
Medicine still can’t answer all
the questions. One patient with
temporal lobe epilepsy has
hallucinations of the seven dwarfs
every time. Why dwarfs?
O’Sullivan has no idea. The theme
of scientific humility in the face of
our enormous continuing
ignorance resonates throughout
the book. As she says: “The brain,
the seat of what makes us human,
is still vastly uncharted territory.”
The main effect of this
fascinating collection of clinical
stories, by the end, is to make any
reader without brain dysfunction
exceedingly grateful for the fragile
miracle going on inside their own
skull every second. And while no
one in this book wants to have
epilepsy, it is striking how resilient
and courageous most of
O’Sullivan’s patients are.
Ray, who swears and spits
during his seizures, says: “I think
I’m lucky to live in London. The
streets are full of weirdos behaving
strangely! I’m with my people!” I
think much the same whenever I
leave the house.
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871 1514 to
order for
£10.99
24
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
BOOKS
REVIEWS
James Walton admires
this eccentric guide to the
literary output of the worst
despots of the 20th century
DICTATOR
LITERATURE
by Daniel Kalder
379pp, Oneworld,
£16.99 ebook £16.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
M
y guess is that most
people reading these
pages consider books
to be A Good Thing. In
Dictator Literature,
Daniel Kalder supplies plenty of
proof – by turns jaw-dropping
and rather painstaking – that they
often aren’t: that, on the contrary,
“books and reading can cause
immense harm”. Throughout the
20th century, hundreds of
millions of people’s lives were
dominated not just by murderous
despots, but also by the books
those murderous despots wrote
– sometimes at a staggeringly
prolific rate.
Kalder begins with perhaps the
biggest graphomaniac of the lot:
Vladimir Lenin, whose collected
works ran to 55 volumes (with a
further 3,700 documents
uncollected in the archives) and
who, like many of the tyrants
here, was both undeniably
intelligent and surprisingly
well-read. By 1895, the 25-year-
old Lenin’s revolutionary writings
had already got him exiled to
Siberia – although luckily this was
a far less brutal experience than it
would become under communism,
after his revolutionary writings
had paid off. Instead, the Tsar
equipped him with a state stipend
and his friends sent him all the
materials he needed to produce
“the first major book by the father
of 20th-century dictator literature”.
Over its 500 pages, The
Development of Capitalism in
Russia argued that the country was
now industrialised rather than
agricultural and so ready for rule
by the urban proletariat. In fact,
this wasn’t true: Russia then had
more than 100 million peasants in a
population of 128 million. Happily,
though, that was beside the point.
The idea the book established –
and that proved so influential on
subsequent dictator literature –
was that you could make
something true simply by saying it.
Or at least you could until a new
truth came along. In 1926, two
years after Lenin’s death, his
communist revolution had
unaccountably failed to spread to
the rest of the world as he
predicted. So might he have been
mistaken in his central belief that
socialism was international or it
was nothing? Fortunately, this
soon turned out to be a silly
question. His successor Stalin took
another look at his work and
discovered that Lenin had never
actually believed that after all. The
way was now clear for Stalin’s
U
‘To instil
terror into
evildoers’
The suffragettes made the
public realise what women’s
prisons were really like,
discovers Helen Brown
BAD GIRLS
by Caitlin Davies
384pp, John Murray,
£20, ebook £13.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
ntil its closure in 2016,
HMP Holloway was the
largest women’s prison
in Western Europe. Its
cell doors have slammed
behind suffragettes, Nazi spies and
murderers such as Myra Hindley.
Unlike male offenders, these
women were deemed doubly
guilty: first of their (real or
imagined) crimes, and secondly of
defective womanhood.
Caitlin Davies’s revealing
account of the jail’s 164-year history
offers overwhelming evidence for
her thesis, that “ever since
Holloway opened, women have
been held up to different standards:
were they good wives and mothers,
did they know their place?”
Historically, men and women
had been impounded together or
in separate wings of the same
prison. By the 19th century,
women made up around 20 per
cent of the prison population,
mostly convicted of drunkenness
or rough sleeping. But in 1853 a
female-only institution opened in
Brixton, where the medical officer
GETTY
Ready for
my dictation?
own writings to argue, at the
traditionally enormous length, that
socialism could be built in one
country alone – just as Lenin
had predicted.
In this, naturally, Stalin was also
rewriting his past, a skill that never
noted that: “Female prisoners, as a
body, do not bear imprisonment so
well as the male prisoners. They
get anxious, restless, more irritable
in temper and are more readily
excited and they look forward to
the future with much less hope of
regaining their former position.”
Although Holloway was built for
men, boys and a few women in
1842 (modelled on the architecture
of Warwick Castle to instil “terror
into evildoers”), by 1902 it
contained only women and
children, and 1903 saw the
conviction, confinement and
execution of “baby farmers”
Amelia Sachs and Annie Walters.
“Baby farming” was common at
the time, practised by midwives
and fixers who offered shelter to
poor, pregnant women. Clients
paid an “adoption fee” to have their
children rehoused. But when
Walters was found in a public
convenience with a dead baby in
her lap, it seemed the pair had
simply been dispatching the
infants in their charge. The press
was quick to condemn the
deserted him. In 1901, he’d urged
tsarist Russia to show more
compassion to those “groaning
under the yoke” – doctors, Poles,
the bourgeoisie and the “eternally
persecuted” Jews – which, as
Kalder points out, amounted to “a
Each cell contained
an ironic copy of
A Perfect Home and
How to Keep It
“unwomanly callousness” of the
baby farmers, but not so keen to
look into the social issues that had
kept them in business.
In 1906, the first suffragette was
sent to Holloway: 29-year-old
Teresa Billington, a schoolteacher
from Blackburn, convicted of
assaulting a police officer outside
the Chancellor of the Exchequer’s
house. In court, she was given the
choice of a £10 fine or two months
in prison. She saw prison as the
more powerful form of protest and
convenient advance summary of
the groups he himself would later
oppress or annihilate”. Stalin’s
ambitious history of the whole
revolution, misleadingly known as
the Short Course, even had to be
rewritten as it went along because
declined “to recognise laws in
the making of which women had
no choice”.
The suffragettes’ imprisonment
was an embarrassment to the
government. The protesters upped
the ante by refusing to wear prison
clothes and then by going on
hunger strike, until the panicked
authorities began force feeding
them. The process was designed
to humiliate: sometimes, the
“feeding” tubes were thrust up the
prisoner’s vagina or rectum.
Around 300 suffragettes were
incarcerated in Holloway between
1905 and 1914 (100 being male) and
Davies makes a good case for the
prison’s role as “a graduating
university for militants”. Countess
Markievicz became the first
woman to be successfully elected
as an MP after campaigning from
within its walls.
This influx of articulate women
also meant that tales of conditions
inside were, for the first time,
being widely reported. Many, such
as Sylvia Pankhurst, became
passionate converts to the cause of
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
25
To order any of these books
from the Telegraph, visit
books.telegraph.co.uk
or call 0844 871 1514
In Germany there was
a ‘wedding edition’ of
Mein Kampf for newly
married couples
GETTY IMAGES
copies of Short Course. He also
“encouraged” the masses to study
it – just as, in Germany, Hitler’s
Mein Kampf became a part of the
school curriculum. (There was also
a deluxe “wedding edition” for
newly married couples.)
And in Chairman Mao’s China,
the process was taken even further.
The Great Helmsman’s Little Red
Book of sayings – still the world’s
best-ever selling book after the
Bible – was read out in factories,
the way sacred texts are in
monasteries. It was also credited
with the ability to improve
table-tennis skills and cure cancer
– and in the mid-Sixties inspired
such hit pop songs as Ensure That
Literature and Art Operate as
Powerful Weapons for
Exterminating the Enemy.
One genuine hero to have
emerged by this stage of Dictator
Literature is Daniel Kalder himself.
It’s sometimes said that the great
thing about book reviews is that
they spare you having to read the
book – but surely nobody can ever
have spared us as much as Kalder
does here. If life seems too
short to read say, Stalin’s 1935
SET TEXTS
Speech at a Conference of
Mao’s Little Red Book
Harvest-Combine Operators or
is still the bestselling
Mao’s Report on an
book of all time,
Investigation of the Peasant
after the Bible
of his habit of executing many
Movement in Hunan (1927),
of the “Soviet heroes” the
then this is your chance to
book had started out praising.
find out what you’re missing (on
But, in another important
the whole, not much).
development for dictator
And, as it transpires, Kalder
literature, Stalin wasn’t content
hasn’t finished yet. Once the
merely to publish 42,816,000
Berlin Wall falls and China drops
JAIL BIRD
A woman in Holloway prison, 1913
prison reform. They complained
about everything from the ironic
copy of A Perfect Home and How to
Keep It installed in each cell to the
way convicts of different classes
were treated.
Deferential treatment would
later be given to the fascist toff
Lady Diana Mosley, impounded in
1942, who was allowed to have her
husband move into the prison
grounds with her. (She accidentally
used the lavatory with the door
marked “V”, thinking the letter
stood for “Victory” when it actually
warned of venereal disease).
Davies, who briefly taught
English at Holloway in 1990, is
good on the unrepentant women
who revelled in their criminality as
well as those who supported noble
causes. She digs into the practical
problems of women’s prisons:
periods, pregnancy, children. Male
convicts tend to have a female
partner outside to raise the
children and visit; female convicts
are more likely to be abandoned,
their children taken away. She
reports that, by the end of the
all that anti-business business,
he moves on to more recent
dictators – among them the
Ayatollah Khomeini, assorted
North Korean Kims and Colonel
Gaddafi, whose Green Book
includes a useful section on gender
differences: “Women are
females and men are males.
According to gynaecologists,
women menstruate every month
or so, while men do not...”
(There’s no fooling those
gynaecologists.)
Faced with so much leaden
prose, Kalder understandably
wants to keep his own writing
lively – which can lead him to
overdo the semi-comic chattiness.
(“Fascism did exactly what it said
on the tin.”) Most of the time,
however, he strikes a neat balance
between horrified amusement and
righteous anger – some of it aimed
at Western intellectuals whose
anti-Westernism made them
susceptible to any old nonsense.
Jean-Paul Sartre sold Maoist
newspapers on the Paris streets
Paris, while Michel
Foucault managed the rare double
of admiring both Mao and the
Ayatollah Khomeini. “Of course,”
notes Kalder, in what becomes an
important sub-theme, “only
exceptionally clever people can be
so stupid.”
Dictator Literature doesn’t
Sixties, 15 to 20 per cent of all those
in custody received some form of
psychiatric treatment. When it
came to women, the figure was
more than 50 per cent. By 1984,
three quarters of the women in
Holloway were sedated.
Davies points out that the
reforms of recent years have
focused on rehabilitation, turning
the prison into what one former
inmate describes as a “concrete
parent” for those who had been
raised without respect, morality or
hope. She quotes the 2015 reports
that rated staff and psychosocial
services as “exceptional” and
questions George Osborne’s
decision to close an outdated
“Victorian” prison that was
actually rebuilt 30 years ago, only
to “decant” its staff and prisoners
into other institutions also built
30 years ago – just on less valuable
real estate. “Women have again
been disappeared,” she concludes,
“this time out of London.”
Call 0844 871 1514 to order
from the Telegraph for £16.99
DEADLY DULL
Lenin and Stalin were
both prolific historians
always solve the admittedly
tricky problem of making an
interesting book out of hundreds
of punishingly dull ones –
particularly towards the end
when what once seemed Kalder’s
impressive thoroughness begins
to feel more like obsessive
completism. Most readers, for
instance, could probably do
without a full discussion of
the equine writings of the
current president of
Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly
Berdymukhamedov.
Nonetheless, as labours of
mysterious love go, this one is
certainly full of enough wonders,
and startling individual facts, to
compensate for any longueurs.
It also adds up to an
overwhelmingly powerful
reminder of 20th-century
misrule, and of just how
delusional human beings can be
– especially if they’re literate.
Call 0844 871 1514 to order
from the Telegraph for £14.99
26
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
BOOKS
REVIEWS
FRANCE
War, peace,
sex and tennis
Lewis Jones enjoys the donnish charm of
John Julius Norwich’s gallop through 2,000
years of French history for his final book
By John Julius
Norwich
400pp, John Murray,
£25, ebook £16.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
J
ohn Julius Norwich,
who has previously
written 23 books,
notably about
Byzantium, Venice
and Sicily, says that his latest is
his last, which is understandable,
as he is now 88. France tackles
a dauntingly vast subject,
two millennia of history, with
admirable lightness and urbanity.
The tone is sometimes a bit
schoolmasterly. One paragraph
begins, “Why, we may ask…”; the
next, “And what, it may be asked…”
And there is the odd whiff,
probably deliberate, of 1066 and
All That. “The Capetians,” Norwich
soberly informs us, “had steadily
built up France, transforming it
from a Carolingian custard into
a nation.” More often, though,
Norwich is pleasantly donnish.
Remarking, for example, that
the exceptionally worldly Pope
Boniface VIII was placed by Dante
in the Eighth Circle of Hell, upside
down in a furnace, he notes: “The
judgment may be thought a trifle
harsh; but one sees, perhaps, what
he meant.” And of Charles VIII he
charitably observes: “The historian
H A L Fisher calls him ‘a young and
licentious hunchback of doubtful
sanity’, but goes, I think, a little
too far.”
He is scholarly but modest.
“The last chapter,” he writes at
one point, “was… a shameless
oversimplification, and the
present one will be another.”
For those two chapters (on the
Revolution and the Terror) he
generously acknowledges his debt
to “my friend the late Christopher
Hibbert”, and for another to “my
late friend Alistair Horne”.
His first chapter, drolly titled
“Very Dark Indeed”, “covers the
ground pretty fast, taking us
from the Gauls and Julius Caesar
to Charlemagne, about eight
centuries”. Pretty fast indeed.
“There were in theory
27 Merovingian kings,” he notes
with some weariness, “but it will
be a relief to the reader that their
detailed history will play no part
in this book.” He sensibly focuses
on the last of them, Childeric III,
who was forced into a monastery
in 751 by Pepin the Short, aka
Pepin the Fat, who founded a
new dynasty, the Carolingian,
and was overshadowed by his son
Charlemagne, who succeeded
him in 768. So much for the
Merovingians.
The second chapter, “Their
Own Destruction Sure”, takes us
on to Eleanor of Aquitaine, leaving
her on “the threshold of that
astonishing career in which, as
wife of one of England’s greatest
kings and mother of two of its
worst, she was to continue to
influence European history for
over half a century”.
The Middle Ages, he reflects,
“dominated as they were by war
and religion, were not, frankly,
very much fun”. He later warns,
“Let no one imagine that life at
Versailles was fun; it was for the
most part bitterly cold, desperately
uncomfortable, poisonously
unhealthy, and of a tedium
probably unparalleled.”
Fun is the key concept here, his
guiding principle, and he finds
it where he can. In, for example,
the story that at Catania on March
3 1191, “according to at least two
authorities”, Richard the Lionheart
gave Tancred of Sicily “King
Arthur’s own sword, Excalibur
itself, which had been supposedly
found, only a few weeks before,
lying beside the old king’s body
at Glastonbury”.
Combining war and religion,
Norwich gallops through eight
Crusades. His accounts of the
battles of Crécy and Agincourt
are exemplary set pieces. He is
excellent on the Hundred Years
War, the Thirty Years War and the
Seven Years War, and on battles
that are commemorated by Paris
metro stations – Austerlitz, Jena,
Wagram – as well as those that
are not, such as Waterloo. There
LA BELLE
FARCE
A 19th-century
cartoon of a
French circus
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1514 to order
from the
Telegraph
for £19.99
the great Blücher was trapped
for hours under his dead horse,
and then, liberally dosed with
schnapps and his wounds dressed
with a liniment of rhubarb and
garlic, which made him pong, he
rejoined the battle.
There is famine, too. During the
Prussian siege of 1870, Parisians
were obliged to dine off pets
and zoo animals: “I had a slice
of spaniel the other day,” wrote
Henry Labouchère. One restaurant
offered a Christmas day menu of
“stuffed donkey’s head, elephant
consommé, roast camel, kangaroo
stew, antelope terrine, bear ribs,
cat with rats, and wolf haunch in
deer sauce”.
There is a surprising amount
of tennis, or jeu de paume, which
had a fatal effect on the monarchy:
Louis X died after a game, Charles
VIII after watching one, and in
1536 the Dauphin Louis after a cup
of water at the end of one.
And there is naturally a great
deal of sex. One diverting story
begins in 1313, when Edward II and
Queen Isabella visited her father
Philip IV in Paris. Their marriage
was “certainly not going well”,
because Edward was “flagrantly
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
was believed to have preferred
watching”. The d’Aunay brothers
confessed under torture, “were
first castrated, then drawn and
quartered, and finally hanged”.
Of Henri IV we learn that
“research has produced a list of
his mistresses, which is not yet
complete. The total so far stands
at 56.” Louis XV seems to have had
“well over a hundred mistresses”.
Louis XVIII, who for a time lived
in a two-bedroom flat above a shop
in Brunswick, was so fat that when
the Prince Regent, himself no
sylph, fastened the Garter around
his leg, he said it was like tying it
around anyone else’s waist. “Louis
was to last another four years,”
Norwich tells us, “during which a
little sunshine was brought into his
life by a lady named Zoé Victoire
Talon, Comtesse du Cayla, who
visited him every Wednesday.”
Nor do the politicians
disappoint. Félix Faure, President
of the Republic, died in 1899 of
a stroke in the Salon Bleu of the
Elysée Palace, “while in flagrante
His footnotes alone
deserve a review:
‘* Captain Hedgehog
– an unusual name’
HULTON FINE ART COLLECTION/UNIVERSAL IMAGES GROUP
homosexual”, but they were “on
their best behaviour”, and Isabella
presented her three sisters-in-law
with embroidered purses.
A few months later, at a dinner
in London, she noticed that two of
those purses were being carried
by the young knights Gautier
and Philippe d’Aunay, and told
her father. It turned out the
brothers were “enjoying regular
encounters” in the Tour de Nesle
with Margaret and Blanche, two
of the sisters-in-law, while the
“third of the three ladies, Joan,
DELICATE
TOUCH
A portrait of
Gabrielle
d’Estrées,
mistress of
Henri IV, with
her sister, c 1594
with one of his several mistresses,
Madame Marguerite Steinheil”.
Norwich’s footnote adds that she
“subsequently came to England,
where she married the 6th Lord
Abinger. Having passed the last
45 years of her life in unshakable
rectitude, she lived in Hove –
where I once met her”.
His footnotes alone deserve a
review. My favourite is the one
on a 6th Lord Abinger (“* Captain
Hedgehog – an unusual name”),
but they are all worth reading,
their flavour established by one
recalling the author’s teenage visits
to the postage stamp market on
the Champs-Elysées: “* I used to
be an avid collector myself, until
a Chinese friend pointed out that
philately would get me nowhere.”
An account of the shots fired
at General de Gaulle in the Place
de la Concorde during his victory
parade prompts this: “* Jean
Cocteau, who was watching from
the Hôtel Crillon, maintained that
the cigarette in his mouth was
shot in half; but nobody quite
believed him.”
The young John Julius called
Cocteau Jean and mixed him dry
martinis. His father Duff Cooper
(created Viscount Norwich in 1952)
had resigned from Chamberlain’s
cabinet over the Sudetenland,
served as Minister of Information
under Churchill, and was Britain’s
first post-war ambassador to Paris.
So, as Norwich says, “I could
hardly leave him out.”
He concludes in 1945,
observing that “two thousand
years is enough”, but he leaves us
wanting more.
27
28
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
BOOKS
REVIEWS
Bond villains
in Babylonia
The historical accuracy of
Dr Irving Finkel’s first novel
is a given – but it’s a ripping
yarn too. By Jake Kerridge
THE WRITING
IN THE STONE
by Irving Finkel
142pp, Medina,
£20
ÌÌÌÌÌ
I
t was one of the boasts
of Gilbert and
Sullivan’s Modern
Major-General that he
could write a washing
bill in Babylonic cuneiform.
That’s the sort of thing that I
suspect Irving Finkel does for
fun over breakfast instead of the
crossword. Dr Finkel is the
British Museum’s assistant
keeper of ancient Mesopotamian
script, languages and cultures.
He spends his days deciphering
cuneiform, the early system of
writing invented by the
Sumerians that comprises
wedge-shaped marks made on
clay tablets, tens of thousands
of which survive.
Dr Finkel has become an
engaging presence on television
documentaries in recent years.
You may remember him, as he
has the distinctive appearance
favoured by celebrity boffins in
the making, in his case with a
voluminous beard – the look he
appears to be going for is
Anthony Trollope emerging from
a lengthy hostage situation.
An infectiously enthusiastic
communicator, Dr Finkel has
written several popular books on
his discipline, and also a number
of stories for children. Now he has
published his first novel, set in
ancient Mesopotamia in the
seventh century BC. We may take
the accuracy of the novel’s
backdrop as read – or, at least, we
won’t easily be able to lay our
hands on somebody with the
authority to gainsay it – but I am
pleased to report that Dr Finkel’s
book has narrative drive, too.
To begin with the end, Dr
Finkel explains in an afterword
that the book was inspired by an
object uncovered in Iraq, thought
to be a bit of a handle broken off
some kind of pot or jug made of
marble or limestone. By fluke, the
cracked face of this object is
made up of wedge shapes, so that
it “resembles the historic
cuneiform script of ancient
Mesopotamia to a quite startling
degree”. If a literate person had
stumbled on an object like this
two-and-a-half millennia ago, it
would have been the equivalent
of somebody today breaking a
piece of rock and finding writing,
in an unknown language but a
recognisable alphabet, on the
broken surface. Back then (and
perhaps today as well) the
immediate thought would be: this
must be a message from the gods.
Dr Finkel’s novel begins with a
PUSSY
GALORE
Assyrian relief
from Nineveh
of a royal lion
hunt, from
645-635 BC
priest in rural Babylonia
discovering just such a fragment of
stone among the possessions of an
itinerant healer who has just died.
He hotfoots it to the Assyrian
capital of Nineveh, to consult with
King Ashurbanipal, whom Dr
Finkel portrays as a man of thought
rather than action, and who
relishes power only because it
allows him to devote himself to
slightly eccentric scholarly
pursuits: I pictured an ancient
Assyrian Prince Charles.
Unfortunately, the King gives
the stone to his head scholar, a
character known only as the Chief
Exorcist, who is a power-crazed
psychopath. We are given a
rundown of how, after murdering
his sister at the age of 12 to see if
he could get away with it, he has
plotted, killed and maimed his
way to becoming one of the
King’s chief advisers.
He decides to head off on a
journey into Babylonia to find the
source of the stone and decipher
the gods’ message; along the way
he kills anyone who has the
slightest inkling of the stone’s
existence with the help of his
sidekick the Cook, a mute giant
with three testicles. The Chief
Exorcist can call on expert
knowledge of hypnosis, voodoo
and black magic to help him in his
programme of slaughter, although
he seems happy with simpler
methods if they can present him
with a good Bond villain-style exit
line: “He’ll dry out like an
Egyptian,” he says, after locking
somebody in a trunk.
It’s a quest story with villains as
the heroes, with plenty of
supernatural elements: ghosts,
demons, dragons, a talking skull
The straight-faced
narration makes some
scenes camper than
perhaps intended
and a woman giving birth to a
“misbegotten horror” that “seemed
to be a cross between a monkey
and a bat”. Dr Finkel’s straightfaced narration contributes to
some scenes being camper than he
may have intended, but as with the
best Hammer Horror films this
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
29
To order any of these books
from the Telegraph, visit
books.telegraph.co.uk
or call 0844 871 1514
PAPERBACKS
READ THIS WEEK
CHURCHILL AND
IRELAND
by Paul Bew
240pp, OUP, £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
“It is a curious reflection,”
remarked Churchill in 1921,
“to inquire why Ireland
should bulk so largely in
our lives.” Bew’s elegant,
meticulous study of his
role in Irish history is filled
with surprises, and gives
nuance to Churchill’s fiery
rhetoric, particularly on
Ireland’s neutral stance in
the Second World War.
CRIME FICTION
Mametland…
where no one
ever shuts up
The playwright’s first novel in
years leaves Jake Kerridge
happy but needing a lie down
UNIVERSAL IMAGES GROUP
CHICAGO
does not preclude genuine
terror-inducing moments. His style
is formal but not stilted and he
often has a striking turn of phrase,
as when one female murder victim
is consigned to a river “with a
necklace of stones as dowry”.
I was reminded of Agatha
Christie’s Death Comes as the End,
which is set in Thebes in 2000 BC,
but only superficially. Christie’s
novel unfolds to show that ancient
peoples were much more like us
than we might suppose; Dr Finkel’s
story seems to me to capture
convincingly a human culture that
seems disconcertingly alien. If he
had claimed to have translated this
compact, entertaining curio from a
newly unearthed cuneiform tablet,
I might have believed him.
Call 0844 71 1514 to order from
the Telegraph for £16.99
AMERICAN WAR
by Omar El Akkad
352pp, Picador, £7.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This solemn piece of
speculative fiction, set in
the late 21st century,
imagines what would
happen if America had
another civil war – over
fossil fuels. It’s a powerful
idea, but El Akkad uses it
to explore current global
conflicts rather than
building a convincing
alternative world.
I’D DIE FOR YOU
by F Scott Fitzgerald
384pp, Scribner, £9.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This collection of lost
stories is a ragtag bundle
of surprises, irrelevancies
and delights. Some of the
tales, about vapid New
Englanders and Ivy League
jocks, are forgettable. But
others read like shards of
Fitzgerald’s best work,
exploring sexual fantasies
and broken relationships in
beautifully lapidary prose.
by David Mamet
338pp, Custom House,
£20, ebook £11.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
CHILDREN’S BOOKS
‘I’m not sad
he’s dead –
am I wicked?’
This is a gem among a slew of
novels marking the Armistice
centenary, says Emily Bearn
THE GOOSE ROAD
by Rowena House
384pp, Walker Books,
£7.99, ebook £7.99
ÌÌÌÌÌ
David Mamet confers on most of
his characters, even the dull
salesmen of Glengarry Glen Ross,
the witty hyper-eloquence of
Wildean nobs. His work often calls
to mind D H Lawrence’s poem
“When I Read Shakespeare”: “How
boring, how small Shakespeare’s
people are!/ Yet the language so
lovely! like the dyes from gas-tar.”
Mamet’s latest project is a novel,
his first for nearly 20 years, but he
clearly does not believe that the
threshold of tolerability for stylised
dialogue is lower on the page than
on the stage. A sentence and a half
is the maximum length for which
any character speaks like a human
being. The book is ostensibly set in
Twenties Chicago, but despite the
presence of speakeasies, journalists
with eyeshades, merciless
gangsters and even less scrupulous
molls, we are really in Mametland,
where talking is more essential to
life than breathing, and the reader
is too busy listening to have time to
take in the scenery.
I simpered with pleasure, and
only partly the pleasure of
familiarity, at the oblique comedy
of Mamet’s dialogue. (“What was
that War about?” “They shot the
Archduke Ferdinand. What
would you do?”) Perhaps, though,
I enjoyed the more bravura
passages because I have been
schooled in how to hear Mamet
dialogue through watching many
movies; I suspect they would be
even better appreciated if heard
being declaimed by actors who
have been directed by Mamet to
within an inch of their lives.
The plot, which sees Chicago
Tribune journalist Mike Hodge
investigating the murder of two
bootleggers, unfolds at a snail’s
pace; it’s a MacGuffin, an excuse
for the talk (which feels like it
ought to be leaving deadlier
wounds than the guns). The
writing eventually loses some of
its intensity as Mamet sweats to
tie up his plot threads, but by
then the reader may be glad of a
rest. Chicago made me very
tired and very happy.
While the Second World War has
inspired some of the most famous
children’s novels of the past
half-century (The Silver Sword,
Carrie’s War, Goodnight Mister
Tom), the First World War has
produced fewer. It is our everprolific Michael Morpurgo who has
probably done most to shape
children’s impressions, with his
bestselling novels War Horse and
Private Peaceful. But now the
balance is truly being redressed,
with the 100th anniversary of
Armistice Day triggering a barrage
of new children’s fiction set during
the First World War.
The Goose Road, a debut novel by
the former Reuters correspondent
Rowena House, is one of the gems.
The story begins in 1916, when
Angelique, a 14-year-old French
farm girl, learns that her drunkard
father has been killed on the
battlefield. “Am I wicked, I wonder,
a heartless, unforgivable child
because I’m not sad he’s dead?”
While her mother grieves,
Angelique determines to keep the
farm intact for her brother Pascal,
who has also gone to fight: “If
nothing ever changes, then
maybe he won’t change either.”
When the Requisition plunders
the farm, Angelique flees across
France with her flock of Toulouse
geese, which she plans to sell to
save the family home.
House is a wonderful
storyteller, combining simple
prose with a relish for domestic
detail. Angelique’s relationship
with her geese, led by the gander
Napoleon, is particularly
charming (“I wish he could fly
just this once, and wheel freely in
the glittering heavens… But he’s
too heavy”). House explains in an
afterword the extent to which the
story was inspired by true events;
but, like all the best historical
novelists, she focuses on the
fiction rather than the facts. This
is a story that young readers will
remember long after GCSE
timelines have been forgotten.
30
***
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
TV &
Radio
Films
page 32
Sport
page 33
YOU R C OM PL E T E S E V E N-DAY L I ST I NG S
S U N DAY, I T V,
1 0. 2 0 PM
page 36
T H E O L IVI E R AWA R D S 2 0 1 8
Hamilton’s
big night?
F R I DAY, N E T F L I X
page 47
L O S T I N S PAC E
T H U R S DAY,
S K Y A RT S , 9.0 0 PM
page 45
U R BA N M Y T H S : M A R I LY N M O N RO E
A N D B I L LY W I L D E R
Stranger than fiction
Danger,
Will
Robinson
Radio
page 48
31
32
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Films of the week
SATURDAY
X-MEN
2000
Film4, 7.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Bryan Singer directs an
all-star cast that includes
Patrick Stewart, Hugh
Jackman, Ian McKellen and
Halle Berry, in the first of the
SUNDAY
EMMA
1996
BBC Two, 3.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Gwyneth Paltrow’s
American iciness melts in
this deft adaptation of Jane
Austen’s classic comic
romance. She is Emma
MONDAY
THE CORE
2003
Film4, 6.25pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Rome starts to crumble, the
Golden Gate Bridge in San
Francisco collapses and
pigeons go mental in
Trafalgar Square. Something
TUESDAY
SPEED
1994
Film4, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
“There’s a bomb on the bus!”
is the most famous line and
basically the entire plot of
one of the best action
thrillers of the Nineties. The
WEDNESDAY
sizzling chemistry between
LAPD Swat specialist Jack
Traven (Keanu Reeves) and
passenger Annie Porter
(Sandra Bullock) sexes up
the exhilarating action
scenes, while Dennis
Hopper is fantastically
unhinged as a revengedriven, retired bomb squad
member turned terrorist.
THE THIN RED LINE
1998
Sky Cinema Greats,
3.10pm
This lyrical Second World
War drama, directed by
Terrence Malick, tells the
story of a group of young US
THE MAN WITH THE
GOLDEN GUN
1974
ITV4, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Christopher Lee steals the
show as the titular assassin,
Francisco Scaramanga, in this
classic Bond adventure. Roger
FRIDAY
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Tom Hardy gives a solid,
convincing performance as
east London gangster Reggie
Kray but his caricatured
portrayal of twin brother
Woodhouse, spoilt,
charming and an inveterate
meddler. Only Mr George
Knightley (Jeremy Northam)
dares challenge her
behaviour – but what are
his motives? A clever film
with a superb supporting
cast, including Toni
Collette, Alan Cumming
and Ewan McGregor.
ÌÌÌÌÌ
The latest film in the Alien
saga from Ridley Scott is
arguably a mad scientist
movie. It follows the crew of
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Director Paul Greengrass’s
boneshaking, real-time take
on the final hours of the
United Airlines plane whose
ÌÌÌÌÌ
In this animated comedy set
inside a smartphone, Gene
(voiced by T J Miller), an
emoji with multiple facial
FAST & FURIOUS 7
2015
ITV2, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Paul Walker was killed in a
car crash part-way through
making this film so it was
completed with the help of
his two younger brothers
soldiers fighting the
Japanese for control of the
island of Guadalcanal. Full of
stars such as Sean Penn and
George Clooney, it struggles
with its own battle to
squeeze in so many
characters but is still an
atmospheric meditation on
the nature of war. Nick Nolte
and Adrien Brody also star.
THE REMAINS OF
THE DAY
1993
Sony Movie Channel,
3.55pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
The success of Merchant
Ivory’s adaptation of Kazuo
Ishiguro’s Thirties-set novel,
ÌÌÌÌÌ
The most often quoted bit of
trivia about this film is that
Halle Berry was paid an
additional £500,000 to go
topless. It’s rather lucky she
the colony ship Covenant
(including Katherine
Waterson) as they discover
what they think is an
uncharted paradise, but
what they uncover a threat
beyond their imagination.
Michael Fassbender puts in a
spectacular turn as kindly
robot David and his twisted
“brother” Walter.
Ronnie lets him down,
and this inconsistency
leads to an entertaining
though muddled film.
Emily Browning, however,
gives just the right mix of
defiance and despair as
Frances Shea, Reggie’s
put-upon wife. Watch
out for some particularly
gory scenes.
passengers rebelled against
their hijackers on September
11, 2001 feels uncomfortably
realistic. Greengrass, whose
signature rapid cutting
made the second and third
Bourne films so exciting,
proves expert at handling
the most infamous atrocity
of modern times with
intelligence and sobriety.
features, sets out on a quest
to be like his colleagues who
have only one. He does so
with the help of apps like
Spotify and Candy Crush.
Sadly, the result is so
horrendous that there aren’t
enough Patrick Stewartvoiced emojis in the world to
express what an ugly, artless
exercise this is.
and some subtle computer
graphics. The good news is
that this is the best film in
the franchise and does
justice to Walker. It isn’t
polished blockbuster
film-making – though if
it was, it wouldn’t be
Fast & Furious. But it
speaks straight to your
adrenal glands.
SWORDFISH
2001
TCM, 9.00pm
Moore’s secret agent, in his
second outing as 007, must
pursue him, with the help of
sidekick Mary Goodnight
(Britt Ekland), to the villain’s
island lair in order to
prevent him harnessing the
power of the Sun for evil.
The confrontations between
Moore and Lee are easily the
film’s highlights.
ALIEN: COVENANT
2017
Sky Cinema Premiere,
8.00pm
UNITED 93
2006
Sky Cinema Greats,
9.55pm
THE EMOJI MOVIE
2017
Sky Cinema Premiere,
6.30pm
is obviously amiss, and this
time it isn’t climate change.
In fact, the Earth’s core has
stopped rotating and a team
of scientists has to build a
special burrowing machine
to start it spinning again.
Hilary Swank, Stanley Tucci
and Aaron Eckhart do their
best, but the excitement is
intermittent.
ÌÌÌÌÌ
THURSDAY
LEGEND
2015
Channel 4, 9.00pm
X-Men franchise. A group of
mutants must decide whether
to side with Professor Xavier
(Stewart) or the evil Magneto
(McKellen) in what is a solid
opening to the series and
which paved the way for
plenty of big-budget sequels.
This is followed by X-Men 2
and X-Men 3 at 9.00pm and
11.35pm respectively.
INVICTUS
2009
ITV, 10.45pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Following the death of
Nelson Mandela’s ex-wife
Winnie last week, aged 81,
here’s Clint Eastwood’s take
on South Africa’s World Cup
a well-observed study of
regret, is built around its
perfectly cast leads: Anthony
Hopkins as James, the butler
to the doltish aristocrat Lord
Darlington (James Fox) and
Emma Thompson as a
housekeeper who tries to
draw him out of his sterile
shell. Lush visuals give it an
added richness.
agreed because she’s
probably the most appealing
aspect of this frenetic
thriller. John Travolta and
Hugh Jackman put on
testosterone-fuelled displays
as a morally dubious
counter-terrorist agent and
the hacker he blackmails
into accessing billions of
dollars of government money.
victory in 1995. As the
country emerges from
apartheid, the newly elected
President Mandela (an
uncanny Morgan Freeman)
sees the potential for the
national rugby team, led by
François Pienaar (Matt
Damon), to be a catalyst for
harmony. This is a polished
and uplifting film.
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
SPORT OF
THE WEEK
LETHAL WEAPON 2
1989
ITV4, 9.05pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Mel Gibson sports his
signature Eighties mullet in
the second film of this daftbut-fun action franchise.
LAPD officer Riggs (Gibson)
TINKER TAILOR
SOLDIER SPY
2011
Channel 4, 11.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
This superb adaptation of
John le Carré’s brilliant,
intricate Cold War spy
novel is a triumph. The
espionage drama follows
the hunt for a Soviet double
agent at the top of the
British secret service, with
Gary Oldman spearheading
the excellent ensemble
cast, which includes Colin
Firth, Tom Hardy, John
Hurt and Benedict
Cumberbatch. It’s funny,
seductive and suspenseful.
TRIPLE 9
2016
Film4, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
A gang of criminals and
corrupt cops plan to kill a
police officer in order to pull
off their biggest heist yet in
John Hillcoat’s crime
THE WITCHES OF
EASTWICK
1987
Syfy, 9.00pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
It is remarkable that director
George Miller’s daft,
unfettered romp of a film
works at all. But, thanks to
ÌÌÌÌÌ
A martial arts action sequel,
in which Jason Statham and
Alessandro Gassman are the
sporadically thrilling stars.
Statham is Frank Martin,
SOME LIKE IT HOT
1959, b/w
Sky Arts, 9.30pm
ÌÌÌÌÌ
When two musicians (Jack
Lemmon and Tony Curtis)
witness a mob hit, they flee
the state disguised as women
Manchester City’s Leroy Sané Saturday, Sky Sports Main Event, 5.30pm
PREMIER LEAGUE
FOOTBALL
thriller. There is a lot
to like here: a big opening
and a strong cast (with Kate
Winslet, Gal Gadot, Anthony
Mackie and Chiwetel
Ejiofor among them). But it
feels like fragments of a
great crime drama are
missing; it’s enthralling up
close, but then the big
picture isn’t complete.
Jack Nicholson’s delicious
overacting as Daryl Van
Horne, a manic gentleman
who closely resembles the
devil, and the three
gorgeous, single small-town
friends, Alexandra (Cher),
Jane (Susan Sarandon) and
Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer),
who vie for his debased
attentions, it somehow does.
TRANSPORTER 2
2005
Film4, 9.00pm
FILM OF THE WEEK
teams up once again with his
partner Murtaugh (Danny
Glover) to track down a band
of South African criminals
while protecting a painfully
frenzied witness (Joe Pesci).
Naturally, the pair find
themselves drawn into
violent action sequences
orchestrated by
stereotypical bad guys.
ÌÌÌÌÌ
Much like the Secret
Policeman’s Ball, this
comedy performance film
Tired, perhaps, from their
Champions League
quarter-final first leg
against Man City, Liverpool
face their bitter local rivals
Everton at Goodison Park.
The home side, who’ve
won three of their last six
games, haven’t beaten
Liverpool since October
2010, when Tim Cahill and
Mikel Arteta gave them a
2-0 victory.
PREMIER LEAGUE
FOOTBALL
Manchester City v
Manchester United
Saturday, Sky Sports Main
Event, 5.30pm
What better way for Pep
Guardiola’s Manchester
PREMIERSHIP
RUGBY UNION
who accepts a job as
chauffeur to Jack (Hunter
Clary), the son of Miami’s
politician Jefferson Billings
(Matthew Modine). But the
local Colombian drug
dealers aren’t happy with his
boss’s efforts to clean up the
city. Cue a kidnapping, and a
potentially deadly encounter
with a cocaine baron.
Time was when Bath and
Leicester were the titans of
English rugby. Currently
they are fifth and eighth in
the league, respectively.
In September, Bath
claimed a 27-23 win at
Welford Road, as they held
on for their first away win
at Leicester since 2003,
ensuring an unhappy
return for George Ford
against the club he left in
the summer. The two sides
also met in the AngloWelsh Cup at the
Recreation Ground in
November, where Bath also
FORMULA 1
The Bahrain Grand Prix
Sunday, Sky Sports F1,
3.30pm
After the Australian Grand
Prix – in which Sebastian
Vettel took advantage of a
safety-car blunder to win
under pristine Melbourne
skies – attention turns to
the second round of the
season at the Bahrain
International Circuit in
Sakhir. Another blunder
cost Lewis Hamilton on this
circuit last year – this time
it happened in the pit lane,
with Vettel capitalising to
win by 6.6 seconds.
GOLF
Bath v Leicester Tigers
Saturday, Channel 5,
1.30pm
in an all-female band, but
further complications arise
in the form of demure
ukulele player Sugar Kane,
superbly played by Marilyn
Monroe. Billy Wilder’s
classic comedy is effortlessly
wacky and clever. Before, at
9pm, is Urban Myths, which
imagines what happened
on the set of this romcom.
MONTY PYTHON
LIVE AT THE
HOLLYWOOD BOWL
1982
GOLD, 1.40am
Everton v Liverpool
Saturday, Sky Sports Main
Event, 12.30pm
emerged victorious,
beating Leicester 33-31 on
that occasion.
The Masters
Sunday, Sky Sports Main
Event, 8.00pm
England’s Andrew Johnston
Thursday, Sky Sports Golf, 11am
City to clinch the title
than by beating secondplaced Manchester United
at the Etihad Stadium.
Sixteen points ahead of
them in the table, City have
been formidable this
season, winning 27 of the
31 league games they’ve
played. One of those
victories came at Old
Trafford, with a goal from
Nicolas Otamendi giving
City a 2-1 victory when
these sides met in
December.
Prepare for a dramatic
finale as this year’s first
Major – from the Augusta
National in Georgia –
concludes. Last year,
Spain’s Sergio Garcia won
the coveted green jacket,
beating Justin Rose in a
tense play-off.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
FOOTBALL
Manchester City v
Liverpool
Tuesday, BT Sport 2,
7.45pm
The Etihad Stadium is the
setting as City and
Liverpool fight it out for a
place in the semi-finals.
EUROPEAN TOUR
GOLF
sees the Monty Python gang
take to the stage, but this
time they’re in Hollywood.
Among the sketches are the
Silly Olympics, where
athletes compete in absurd
sports, The Lumberjack
Song, and The Ministry of
Silly Walks. This film also
features Carol Cleveland in
numerous supporting roles.
The Open de Espana
Thursday, Sky Sports Golf,
11.00am
Sebastian Vettel Sunday, Sky Sports F1, 3.30pm
The opening day’s play of
the event from the Centro
Nacional de Golf in Madrid,
which was won by Andrew
Johnston the last time it
was held in 2016.
33
34
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION SATURDAY 7 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
Saturday night fever: Declan Donnelly presents from Orlando
ANT & DEC’S SATURDAY NIGHT TAKEAWAY
ITV, 7.00pm
It can’t be easy hosting a
show as exuberant as
Saturday Night Takeaway
on your own but Declan
Donnelly made a solid if
understandably
restrained go of it last
week. He ensured that
the light entertainment
series proceeded pretty
much as normal in the
absence of long-time
work partner Ant
McPartlin, whose travails
were sensibly referenced
only in very brief passing
(“I’ve got twice the
amount of work to do,”
Donnelly noted at one
point before mockberating the production
crew that “I’ll have to do
it myself, like everything
else around here this
week”). That said, this
final episode ups the ante
as Donnelly takes the
show on the road to the
Universal Orlando Resort
in Florida.
Once there we’re
promised a “super-sized”
edition featuring stunts,
surprises and “extraspecial” guests. No word
yet as to who those guests
will be but expect
Donnelly to continue
making the best of a
difficult situation, buoyed
by extra support from
Scarlett Moffatt, who is in
charge of ensuring that
the Place on the Plane
winners have a wonderful
time, and Stephen
Mulhern, who has the
possibly less than
enviable task of
explaining In for a Penny
to an American audience.
Sarah Hughes
BBC One
BBC Two
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
10.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Further live
coverage from
Queensland, as day three
of the Games continues
with swimming, track
cycling and netball all
high on the agenda (S)
12.00 Football Focus (S)
1.00 pm News (S)
1.15 Golf: The Masters
Highlights (S)
2.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 (S)
4.30 Final Score (S)
5.15 A Question of Sport (R)
(S)
5.45 Doodlebugs (S)
6.00 Ready or Not (S)
6.30 News (S)
6.40 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S)
6.50 Pointless Celebrities (S)
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
introduces live coverage
of the third day in
Queensland (S)
10.00 Robot Wars (R) (S)
11.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
12.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding
presents live coverage as
day three of the Games
reaches its conclusion (S)
2.15 pm MasterCheff (AD) (R)
(S)
2.45 MasterCheff (AD) (R) (S)
3.45 Escape to the Country
(AD) (R) (S)
4.15 Money for Nothing
g (R)
(S)
5.00 Big Cats About the
House (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Today at the Games (S)
7.40 Who Dares Wins Game
show in which strangers
pair up to win money (S)
7.30 Golf: The Masters Live
Eilidh Barbour introduces
coverage of the third day
from the Augusta
National in Georgia, as
the opening Major of the
year continues (S)
8.20 Casualty Ethan treats a
pregnant woman whose
waters broke at a bus
stop See What to watch
(AD) (S)
9.10 Troy: Fall of a City The
Trojans discover a
deserted Greek camp.
Last in the series See
What to watch (AD) (S)
10.10 News (S)
10.30 Match of the Day (S)
CASUALTY
BBC One, 8.20pm
The medical drama’s
storyline about Dylan’s
(William Beck)
alcoholism continues to
be sensitively handled as
the medic’s ex-wife Sam
(Charlotte Salt) worries
about whether she can
help him. Meanwhile,
Ethan (George Hardy)
struggles with his own
demons as he realises
that a patient is related to
his brother’s killer.
THE VOICE UK: LIVE FINAL
ITV, 8.30pm
Every reality TV idea has
Troy: Fall of a City – Bella
Dayne stars as Helen
an allotted shelf life and
it’s hard not to feel that
musical talent contests
have come to the end of
their run. For those who
disagree, The Voice UK’s
grand finale is here and
the final four battle it out
for public approval.
TROY: FALL OF A CITY
BBC One, 9.10pm
David Farr’s epic series
reaches its climax with
the arrival of the most
famous horse in history.
After an uninspiring
start, Troy has picked up
in recent weeks and the
final episode is a wellhandled tale of betrayal
and death. It’s a curate’s
egg of a series, let down
by poor casting. SH
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: 5.00 - 5.15pm Final Score
from Northern Ireland
BBC Two: 6.00pm Suzi Perry’s Queens of
the Road 6.30 - 7.30pm The Conference
UTV: 12.40am Teleshopping 2.40 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
12.00 FILM Having You (2013)
Drama starring Anna Friel
(S) 1.30am Civilisations
(AD) (R) (S) 2.35 6.00am News (S)
12.50
1.00
3.00
4.00
5.00
6.00
6.15
6.30
7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway Declan
Donnelly presents the
finale live from Universal
Orlando Resort in Florida
with super-sized
audience surprises,
iincredible
dibl stunts
t t and
d
celebrity guests. Last in
the series See What to
watch (S)
12.40 am Jackpot247 3.00
Babushka (R) (S) (SL)
3.50 - 6.00am ITV
Nightscreen
S4C
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 12.40 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
6.15 am Mobil 1: The Grid (S)
6.45 Motor Sport: British GT
7.40 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
9.05 Frasier (AD) (R) (S)
10.35 The Big Bang Theory
(AD) (R) (S)
12.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
1.00 pm Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Practice 3
Live Coverage from the
second round of the
season at the Bahrain
International Circuit in
Sakhir (S)
2.30 F1 Meets David
Coulthard (R) (S)
2.55 Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Qualifying
Live Steve Jones
presents coverage from
the Bahrain International
Circuit in Sakhir (starttime 4.00pm) (S)
5.45 Car SOS (R) (S)
6.40 News (S)
7.00 Coastal Railways with
Julie Walters The
actress travels on the
famous Great Western
Railway (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Britain’s Most Historic
Towns New series. Alice
Roberts explores the
UK’s past through the
stories of its towns See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 FILM Legend (2015)
Biopic of the Kray
brothers, exploring their
rise to power from the
point of view of Reggie’s
wife Frances. Starring
Tom Hardy as both twins
with
ith E
Emily
il B
Browning
i gU
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S)
11.35 FILM Abraham Lincoln:
Vampire Hunter (2012)
Fantasy thriller starring
Benjamin Walker (S)
1.30am Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA
(R) (S) 2.20 Hollyoaks
(AD) (R) (S) (SL) 4.30
Kirstie’s Fill Your House
for Free (R) (S) 4.45
Building the Dream (AD)
(R) (S) 5.40 - 6.10am
Streetmate (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
6.00am Cyw 8.00 Stwnsh Sadwrn 10.15
Yr Ynys 11.15 Ceffylau Cymru 11.45 O
Gymru Fach 12.45pm Cefn Gwlad 1.45
Clwb Rygbi 4.00 Ffermio 4.25 Bois y Ffair
4.50 Newyddion 5.00 Rygbi 7.15 Sgorio
9.45 Noson Lawen Eisteddfod Sir Gâr
11.15 - 11.50pm Hansh
SCOTLAND
WA L E S
12.20
Movies
ITV Wales: No variations
BBC One: 4.30 - 5.15pm Sportscene
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 12.40 - 1.40am Teleshopping 2.40
Babushka 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 5.00 - 6.00pm Wales’ Home
11.25
am CITV
Scrambled!
News (S)
James Martin’s
Saturday Morning
g (S)
Who’s Doing the
Dishes? (R) (S)
pm The Harbour (AD)
(R) (S)
News (S)
Midsomer Murders (R)
(S)
Tenable (R) (S)
Tipping Point (R) (S)
The Chase (R) (S)
News (S)
Regional News (S)
New You’ve Been
Framed! (S)
10.10 News (S)
10.30 FILM Sherlock Holmes:
A Game of Shadows
(2011) Freeview Premiere.
Detective thriller sequel
starring Robert Downey
Jr (AD) (S)
Channel 4, 8.00pm
11.55 Commonwealth Games
2018 Live swimming,
boxing and hockey
coverage on day four (S)
4.00 - 6.00am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Further live
coverage of day four in
Queensland (S)
6.00
7.30
9.25
9.30
Channel 4
8.30 The Voice UK: Live Final
The grand final of the
spinning-chair singing
contest,
t t as the
th remaining
i i g
four singers battle it out
to land a recording
contract with Polydor
Records. Last in the
series See What to
watch (S)
BRITAIN’S MOST
HISTORIC TOWNS
Alice Roberts is our guide
for this new six-part
series, which sees her
search the UK for the
places that best sum up
an historical era. The first
era is Roman Britain, so
Roberts heads to Chester,
where she abseils down
walls, hunkers in caves
and uncovers the truth
about the city.
ITV
SKY LIVING
SKY
Y 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 3.00pm Border
Security USA 3.30 Border Security:
Canada’s Front Line 6.00 Nothing to
Declare 9.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers
11.00 World’s Most Evil Killers 12.00 1.00am Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY
Y 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm World’s
Most Dangerous Roads 3.00 Impossible
Railways 5.00 Top Gear India Special
7.00 Fawlty Towers 8.25 Would I Lie to
You? At Christmas 9.00 Would I Lie to
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
10.00 Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles (S)
10.35 The Gadget Show (R) (S)
11.30 Traffic Cops (R) (S)
12.30 pm Traffic Cops (R) (S)
1.30 Live Aviva Premiership
Rugby Union Bath v
Leicester Tigers (kick-off
2.00pm). Mark DurdenSmith and David Flatman
present coverage of the
top-flight match, which
takes place at
Twickenham (S)
4.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
5.10 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
6.05 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
7.00 The Secret Life of Owls
Part one of two. Cameras
follow the lives of owls
living in rural Essex (S)
8.00 Everest: World’s
Greatest Mountain
Cameras explore the
world’s most iconic
mountains, beginning
with Everest (R) (S)
8.55 News (S)
9.00 Football on 5: The
Championship Including
highlights of Cardiff City
v Wolverhampton
Wanderers (S)
10.00 Football on 5: Goal Rush
Including highlights of
AFC Wimbledon v
Scunthorpe United (S)
10.30 20 Moments That
Rocked the 90s (R) (S)
12.00 SuperCasino (S) 3.10am
FILM The Other Guys
(2010) Action comedy
with Will Ferrell and Mark
Wahlberg (S) 4.55 Great
Scientists (R) (S) (SL)
5.20 Wildlife SOS (R) (S)
(SL) 5.50 - 6.00am
Access (S)
You? 10.20 Would I Lie to You? The
Unseen Bits 11.00 Have I Got a Bit More
News for You 12.00 - 1.20am Mock the
Week
D I S C OV E RY
SKY
Y 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Wheeler Dealers 1.00pm Blowing
Up History 2.00 Tanked 6.00 Gold Rush:
Parker’s Trail 7.00 Doomsday: World War
I 8.00 James May’s Toy Stories 9.00
Royal Marines Commando School 10.00
Murder on CCTV 11.00 Street Justice:
The Bronx 12.00 - 5.30am Wheeler
Dealers
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY
Y 136 VIRGIN 106
noon Young Sheldon 12.30pm The Big
Bang Theory 1.55 FILM Eragon (2006) A
farm boy and the last surviving dragon
fight to overthrow the tyrannical leader
who has taken control of the kingdom.
Fantasy adventure, starring Ed Speleers
WHAT TO
WATCH
Pearl Jam: Let’s Play Two –
lead singer Eddie Vedder
BELOW THE SURFACE
BBC Four, 9.00pm &
9.45pm
BBC Four’s latest Scandi
drama started off tensely
but like its predecessor,
Modus, it has gone on to
become ever more
ludicrous. Now it’s the
final two episodes, and
Philip Norgaard
(Johannes Lassen) faces
off against Mark (Jakob
Oftebro), the man behind
the hostage crisis. Much
heartfelt talking follows,
although you may end
up feeling more
sympathetic towards the
damaged Mark than the
chilly Norgaard.
PEARL JAM: LET’S
PLAY TWO
Sky Arts, 9.00pm
When is a music
documentary not a
music documentary?
When it’s also a sports
film. This exuberant film,
which was made following
the Chicago Cubs’ victory
in baseball’s World Series
in 2016, follows die-hard
Cubs fan and Pearl Jam
lead singer Eddie Vedder
as he cheers on his
team during their
championship run while
also preparing the band
for two August shows at
the team’s Wrigley Field
Stadium. The result is an
affectionate portrait of
the singer as fan. SH
and Jeremy Irons 4.00 The Great
Celebrity Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer
5.15 Extreme Cake Makers 6.00 The Big
Bang Theory 8.00 FILM GI Joe:
Retaliation (2013) An elite military team
battles a terrorist organisation that has
replaced the US president with an
imposter. Action adventure sequel, with
Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis 10.10
FILM Contraband (2012) Successful
international smuggler Chris Farraday
turns his back on a life of crime to raise a
family. However, his brother-in-law
crosses a powerful drug lord, who forces
Chris to transport billions of dollars of
counterfeit money into the US, or his wife
and children will be killed. Crime thriller,
starring Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale,
Giovanni Ribisi and Ben Foster 12.15 1.15am Gogglebox
GOLD
SKY
Y 110 VIRGIN 124
10.30am Only Fools and Horses 8.00pm
Gavin & Stacey 9.55 Michael McIntyre’s
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Insect Worlds The
relationships between
humans and insects,
arachnids and
crustaceans (R) (S)
7.30 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights of the third
day from Queensland (S)
9.00 Below the Surface Philip
learns who is behind the
hostage crisis See What
to watch
9.45 Below the Surface Philip
tries to free the hostages
himself. Last in the series
See What to watch
10.30 Top of the Pops: 1985
(R) (S)
11.00 Boy George and Culture
Club: Karma to Calamity
A look at the history of
the band (R) (S)
12.00 Young Guns Go for It (R)
(S)
12.30 am The Man Who
Brought the Blues to
Britain: Big Bill Broonzy
(R) (S)
1.30 John Williams at the
BBC (R) (S)
2.30 - 3.30am Trad Jazz
Britannia (R) (S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY
Y 116 VIRGIN 107
ITV2
FV 6 FS 113 SKY
Y 118 VIRGIN 115
11.50 am Ant & Dec’s
Saturday Night
Takeaway (R) (S)
1.20 pm Britain’s Got Talent:
Top 10 LOL Moments (S)
2.25 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
3.30 FILM The Smurfs (2011)
Fantasy comedy starring
Neil Patrick Harris.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
5.35 FILM Mr Bean’s Holiday
(2007) Comedy starring
Rowan Atkinson.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
7.25 FILM The Amazing
Spider-Man 2 (2014)
Superhero adventure
sequel starring Andrew
Garfield. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
10.10 Celebrity Juice (R) (S)
11.00 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.25 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.50 American Dad! (AD) (R)
(S)
12.20 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.45 - 1.20am Action Team
(R) (S)
Film4
Sky One
11.30 am Discovering: Gene
Hackman (AD) (S)
12.30 pm Discovering: Omar
Shariff (AD) (S)
1.30 Bee Gees: In Our Own
Time (S)
2.50 Michael Ball: Both Sides
Now (S)
5.35 Tom Petty & the
Heartbreakers: Live
from Gatorville The
singer-songwriter and his
band perform in
Gainesville, Florida, in
2006
8.00 Classic Albums
Documentary charting
the making of Metallica’s
acclaimed self-titled LP
(AD) (S)
9.00 Pearl Jam: Let’s Play
Two Documentary
chronicling the American
rock band’s
performances at
Chicago’s Wrigley Field
during 2016, when the
Chicago Cubs baseball
team won their first
World Series since 1908
See What to watch
11.15 - 1.05am A Shot of
Whisky
11.00 am The SpongeBob
Movie: Sponge Out of
Water (2015) Animated
comedy with the voice of
Tom Kenny (S)
1.00 pm Ice Age: The
Meltdown (2006)
Animated adventure
sequel with the voice of
Ray Romano (S)
2.40 Back to the Future Part
II (1989) Sci-fi comedy
sequel starring Michael J
Fox (S)
4.45 Back to the Future Part
III (1990) Sci-fi comedy
starring Michael J Fox (S)
7.00 X-Men (2000) Sci-fi
comic-book adventure
starring Hugh Jackman U
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S)
9.00 X-Men 2 (2003)
Superhero adventure
sequel starring Hugh
Jackman U See Films of
the week, p32 (S)
11.35 - 1.40am X-Men: The
Last Stand (2006)
Adventure starring
Hugh Jackman U See
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
11.30 am Live Premier
League
12.30 pm Revolution (R)
1.30 Game Changers
2.00 The Hurricane Heist:
Special (R)
2.30 PL Greatest Games
(AD) (S)
2.45 Gillette Soccer
Saturday
3.15 Gillette Soccer
Saturday
5.00 Live Premier League
The build-up to
Manchester City v
Manchester United
5.30 Futurama (R) (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
9.00 SEAL Team (R)
10.00 A League of Their
Own: Best Bits (AD)
(R) (S)
11.00 Micky Flanagan
Thinking Aloud (AD)
(R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Karl
Pilkington: The
Moaning of Life (AD)
(R) (S)
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
SKY
Y 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 10 FS 115 SKY
Y 119 VIRGIN 117
11.00 am A Touch of Frost (R)
(S)
1.10 pm A Touch of Frost (R)
(S)
3.20 FILM Columbo: A
Deadly State of Mind
(1975, TVM) Crime drama
starring Peter Falk (AD)
(S)
5.00 Midsomer Murders A
magician becomes the
prime suspect when his
assistant drops dead on
stage, poisoned by the
toxins from a tropical
frog (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 Midsomer Murders
Barnaby and Nelson
team up with a pair of
female detectives in
Copenhagen to
investigate the murder of
factory boss Eric Calder.
Neil Dudgeon and
Gwilym Lee star (AD) (R)
9.00 Midsomer Murders A
murderer strikes a team
of bell-ringers (AD) (R)
11.00 - 1.00am Vera The key
to a murder lies deep in
the memory of the
victim’s son (AD) (R) (S)
Comedy Roadshow 10.55 Bottom 12.15
- 1.30am Green Wing
Cats Does Countdown 3.15 - 3.55am 8
Out of 10 Cats
H I S T O RY
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY
Y 529 VIRGIN 270
noon History’s Greatest Blunders 1.00pm
Pawn Stars: Best Of 2.00 Ice Road
Truckers 3.00 Pawn Stars: Pumped Up
4.00 Pawn Stars 5.00 Storage Wars 6.00
Counting Cars 7.00 Cowboys & Outlaws
8.00 American Pickers 9.00 Frontiersmen
from Leonardo DiCaprio 11.00 James
Nesbitt: Disasters That Changed Britain
12.00 - 1.00am Forged in Fire
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY
Y 138 VIRGIN 147
11.30am A Place in the Sun 2.40pm Four
in a Bed 5.20 Come Dine with Me 8.00
Peter Cook & Dudley Moore: The Missing
Sketches 9.00 Sarah Millican: Thoroughly
Modern Millican Live 10.00 8 Out of 10
Cats Does Countdown 12.10am Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10 8 Out of 10
SKY
Y 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Seconds from Disaster 7.00pm
China From Above 8.00 Time Scanners
9.00 One Strange Rock 10.00 - 5.00am
Seconds from Disaster
W
SKY
Y 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point 7.00pm My Family
9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News 10.20
Inside the Ambulance 11.15 999 Rescue
Squad 12.15 - 1.20am One Born Every
Minute
FV 15 FS 300 SKY
Y 315 VIRGIN 428
FV 24 FS 117 SKY
Y 120 VIRGIN 118
11.30 am FILM Police
Academy 2: Their First
Assignment (1985)
Comedy sequel starring
Steve Guttenberg.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
1.20 pm Football’s Greatest:
Thierry Henry (R)
1.30 ITV Racing: Live from
Kelso Ed Chamberlin
presents coverage of
today’s races at Kelso
and Kempton Park (S)
4.00 FILM Red River (1948,
b/w) Western starring
John Wayne (S)
6.40 FILM Live and Let Die
(1973) James Bond spy
adventure starring Roger
Moore (AD) (S)
9.05 FILM Lethal Weapon 2
(1989) Action thriller
starring Mel Gibson U
See Films of the week,
p32 (AD) (S)
11.25 - 2.35am FILM The
Assassination of Jesse
James by the Coward
Robert Ford (2007)
Western starring Brad
Pitt (AD) (S)
TOTP2 Disco Special 11.00 Rallying: The
Killer Years 12.00 - 1.00am Mike
Hawthorn: On the Limit
35
SKY
Y 106 VIRGIN 110
SKY
Y 108
12.00 noon CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (R) (S)
1.00 pm Cold Case (R) (S)
2.00 Cold Case (R) (S)
3.00 Cold Case (AD) (R) (S)
4.00 Without a Trace (R) (S)
5.00 Without a Trace (R) (S)
6.00 Without a Trace (R) (S)
7.00 Without a Trace The
team investigates the
disappearance of a
71-year-old senior
citizen who was last
seen getting into a car
with two unknown men
(R) (S)
8.00 Without a Trace The
team investigates the
disappearance of a
seemingly upstanding
member of society and
Vivian undergoes
open-heart surgery (R)
9.00 Blue Bloods Danny and
Baez search for a
missing journalist
10.00 Spielberg
g A look at the
career of the acclaimed
filmmaker, Steven
Spielberg (AD) (R) (S)
12.40 - 1.10am Ready Player
One: Special (R)
Premier League 8.30 Nissan Game of
the Day 10.30 Nissan Match Choice
11.00 - 6.00am Premier League
Highlights
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
BT SPORT 1
SKY
Y 401 VIRGIN 511
SKY
Y 413 VIRGIN 531
6.00am Live HSBC Sevens World Series
7.40 Rugby Greatest Games 8.00 Good
Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Masters
Breakfast: Live 11.30am Live Premier
League 2.55pm Fight Night 4.55 Sky
Sports Boxing Gold 5.00 Live Premier
League 8.30 The Masters: Live 12.30am
Premier League Highlights 1.00 Sky
Sports News 2.00 Premier League
Highlights 2.30 - 6.00am Live HSBC
Sevens World Series
8.00am Aviva Premiership Rugby
Union 9.30 World Rally Championship
10.00 Live World Rally Championship
11.00 Premier League Match Pack
11.30 Premier League Preview noon
Live Vanarama National League.
Ebbsfleet United v Macclesfield Town
(Kick-off 12.15pm) 2.30pm BT Sport
Score 5.15 Live Bundesliga 7.30 Live
Serie A. Sampdoria v Genoa (Kick-off
7.45pm). Coverage of the Italian
top-flight clash from Stadio Luigi
Ferraris 9.45 World Rally Championship
10.15 Aviva Premiership Rugby
Highlights 12.15am Sport in Focus
12.30 NBA Action 1.00 Live NBA
Countdown 1.30 Live NBA 4.00 7.00am Live AFL
Y E S T E R D AY
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
FV 19 FS 159 SKY
Y 537 VIRGIN 245
SKY
Y 402 VIRGIN 512
1.00pm Secrets of Britain 7.00 Big Hits:
TOTP 1964 to 1975 9.00 Boogie Fever: A
11.30am Live Premier League 3.15pm
Gillette Soccer Saturday 5.00 Live
36
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION SUNDAY 8 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
BBC Two
6.00
7.30
9.00
10.00
11.00
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
presents live coverage as
day four of the Games
continues in Queensland
(S)
9.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding
presents further live
coverage from day four
of the Games in
Queensland (S)
11.00 Saturday Kitchen Best
Bites (S)
12.30 pm MasterCheff (AD) (R)
(S)
1.30 MasterCheff (AD) (R) (S)
2.00 The Secret Helpers (AD)
(R) (S)
3.00 FILM Emma (1996) Jane
Austen drama starring
Gwyneth Paltrow U See
Films of the week, p32
(S)
5.00 Today at the Games (S)
6.30 Golf: The Masters Live
Eilidh Barbour
B b
introduces
i t d
coverage of the fourth
and final day from the
Augusta National in
Georgia, as the opening
Major of the year
concludes (S)
Hostess with the mostest: Catherine Tate presents the awards
THE OLIVIER AWARDS 2018
ITV, 10.20pm
Last year, Harry Potter
and the Cursed Child
swept the board with
nine Olivier Awards,
something that looked
impossible to top. But
then came Lin Manuel
Miranda’s blockbuster
musical Hamilton, whose
West End run has
received reviews every
bit as rapturous as those
from its Broadway debut.
The show has a recordbreaking 13 nominations,
which it is thought will
be translated into awards.
After being snubbed
for Jerusalem, Jez
Butterworth will surely
be rewarded for his
equally magisterial play
The Ferryman (its eight
nominations include best
play and best director for
Sam Mendes), while
contenders in the acting
categories include Bryan
Cranston for Network,
Andrew Garfield for
Angels in America and
Lesley Manville for Long
Day’s Journey into Night.
Catherine Tate will be
on hosting duties for the
event at the Royal Albert
Hall, which will, as usual,
feature a crop of stellar
performances; this one
will include a special
tribute to Joseph and the
Amazing Technicolor
Dreamcoat, which turns
50 this year. Let’s hope
the organisers bring
together Josephs of the
past for a big singalong:
Jason Donovan, Phillip
Schofield, Ian “H”
Watkins and Lee Mead
will all, one suspects, be
available. Gabriel Tate
THE GENERATION GAME
BBC One, 8.00pm
How do you top last week’s
cavalcade of silliness in
this rebooted game show?
You rope in Danny Dyer
to join Mel Giedroyc, Sue
Perkins and panellists
Melvin Odoom and Roisin
Conaty for challenges
that include cake
decorating, balloon
modelling and dancing
the Argentine Tango.
THE DURRELLS
ITV, 8.00pm
In the fourth episode of
the popular drama, Larry
(Josh O’Connor) visits
Athens with two oddly
named guests – Captain
Creech (James Cosmo)
and Prince Jeejeebuoy
(Tanmay Dhanania) – in
tow. There, they offer
advice to Gerry (Milo
Parker), who is applying
for a new school.
JESUS’ FEMALE
DISCIPLES: THE
NEW EVIDENCE
Channel 4, 8.00pm
For centuries, the birth of
Christianity was regarded
The Durrells: Daisy
Waterstone as Margo Durrell
as a largely male affair,
with women as only
bit-part players. Now,
Bible experts Helen Bond
and Joan Taylor have
discovered evidence that
women were involved
in everything from
preaching and baptising
to funding the movement
as it grew. This absorbing
documentary follows the
historians’ progress.
ORDEAL BY INNOCENCE
BBC One, 9.00pm
Sarah Phelps’s splendid
adaptation continues, as
Arthur Calgary (Luke
Treadaway) resolves to
prove the truth about
Jack Argyll’s (Anthony
Boyle) alibi by any means
necessary. GT
Channel 4
am CITV
Scrambled!
News (S)
Love Your Garden (AD)
(R) (S)
The Voice UK: Live Final
(R) (S)
Change Your Tune (AD)
(R) (S)
pm News (S)
Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway (R) (S)
Britain’s Brightest
Family (AD) (R) (S)
Tenable (R) (S)
You’ve Been Framed!
(R) (S)
News (S)
Regional News (S)
Tipping Point (R) (S)
The Chase: Celebrity
Special (R) (S)
6.10 am Race of Champions
2018 (S)
7.05 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.25 Frasier (R) (S)
9.30 Sunday Brunch (S)
12.45 pm The Simpsons (AD)
(R) (S)
1.45 The Great Celebrity
Bake Off for Stand Up
to Cancer (AD) (R) (S)
3.00 Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Live Build Up
3.45 Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Live
Coverage of the second
round of the season from
the Bahrain International
Circuit in Sakhir (starttime 4.10pm) (S)
6.20 Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Live
Reaction (S)
6.45 News (S)
7.00 Change Your Tune Baz
Ashmawy hosts the
musical game show (AD)
(S)
7.00 Escape to the Chateau
A British family moves to
a French chateau (AD)
(R) (S)
8.00 The Generation Game
Vincent Simone and
Flavia Cacace give an
Argentine Tango lesson
See What to watch (S)
8.00 The Durrells The family
prepares for a royal guest
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
8.00 Jesus’ Female Disciples:
The New Evidence The
roles of women in early
Christianity See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Ordeal by Innocence
Arthur presents
irrefutable proof that
Jack is innocent See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 The Good Karma
Hospital Ruby must
decide if she can forgive
past mistakes (AD) (S)
9.00 Homeland Carrie and
Saul interrogate a
suspect, while
Wellington makes a play
(AD) (S)
10.00 News (S)
10.20 The Olivier Awards
2018 See What to watch
(S)
10.05 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
Countdown (R) (S)
11.00 FILM Tinker Tailor
Soldier Spy (2011)
Thriller with Gary
Oldman U See Films of
the week, p32 (AD) (S)
1.25am FILM Shubh
Mangal Saavdhan (2017)
3.25 KOTV Boxing
Weekly (S) 3.45 Mobil 1:
The Grid (R) (S) 4.10
Building the Dream (AD)
(R) (S) 5.10 Kirstie’s Fill
Your House for Free (R)
(S) 5.30 - 6.00am Steph
and Dom’s One Star to
Five Star (R) (S)
1.30
1.45
4.30
5.05
5.35
5.50
6.00
am Breakfast (S)
Match of the Day (R) (S)
The Andrew Marr Show
The Big Questions (S)
Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding
presents further live
coverage from day four
of the Games in
Queensland (S)
pm News; Weather (S)
Commonwealth Games
2018 Jason Mohammad
introduces live coverage
from Queensland, as day
four comes to a close
with various swimming
finals at the Optus
Aquatic Centre (S)
Songs of Praise (S)
Celebrity Mastermind
(R) (S)
News (S)
BBC Regional News (S)
The Big Painting
Challenge (AD) (S)
ITV
7.00 Countryfile Sean
Fletcher and Naomi
Wilkinson present the
show from Loch Ness (S)
10.00 News (S)
10.20 BBC Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.30 Match of the Day 2
Highlights of Arsenal v
Southampton and
Chelsea v West Ham
United (S)
11.30 Commonwealth Games
2018 Live athletics and
netball coverage as day
five gets under way (S)
4.00 - 6.00am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Further live
coverage of day five in
Queensland (S)
Variations
12.00 FILM The Rookie (2002)
Fact-based baseball
drama starring Dennis
Quaid (AD) (S) 2.00am
Sign Zone (R) (S) (SL)
4.00 - 6.00am News (S)
N IRELAND
S4C
6.00am Cyw 8.50 Penblwyddi Cyw 8.55
Pen-Blwydd Pwy? 9.00 Dal Ati: Dal Ati:
Bore Da 10.00 Dal Ati: Dal Ati 11.00
Rownd a Rownd 11.30 Rownd a Rownd
11.55 Calon: Dyn y Tatw 12.00 Dechrau
Canu Dechrau Canmol 1.00pm Perthyn
1.30 Lle Aeth Pawb? Merched Pop 65-75
2.30 Cegin Bryn 2.55 Cegin Bryn 3.20
Ffermio 3.45 Clwb Rygbi 5.30 Newyddion
5.40 Pobol y Cwm 7.30 Dechrau Canu
Dechrau Canmol 8.00 Band Cymru 2018
9.00 Parch 10.00 Y Byd ar Bedwar 10.30
Zimbabwe, Taid a Fi 11.15 - 11.50pm
Ward Plant
SCOTLAND
WA L E S
BBC One: No variations
10.00
11.40
12.40
1.00
2.30
3.00
4.00
4.30
4.45
5.00
6.00
12.15 am 100 Year Old Driving
School (AD) (R) (S) 12.40
Marcella (AD) (R) (S) 1.30
Jackpot247 3.00 British
Superbike Championship
Highlights (S) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05 6.00am The Jeremy Kyle
Show (R) (S) (SL)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
BBC Two: 5.45 - 6.30pm Scrum V
Sunday
ITV Wales: No variations
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 5.00pm Bus Wars 5.30 6.30pm The BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards:
Belfast 2018
UTV: 1.30am Teleshopping 2.30 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
BBC One: 10.30pm Sportscene 11.30
Match of the Day 2 12.30 - 4.00am
Commonwealth Games 2018
BBC Two: 2.00 - 3.00pm River City
STV: 12.15am Teleshopping 1.15 After
Midnight 2.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.00 6.00am Teleshopping
6.00
7.30
9.25
9.30
SKY LIVING
SKY
Y 107 VIRGIN 112
noon Nothing to Declare 4.00pm UK
Border Force 6.00 Border Security:
Canada’s Front Line 7.00 America’s Next
Top Model 8.00 Chicago Fire 9.00
Britain’s Most Evil Killers 10.00 - 4.00am
Criminal Minds
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY
Y 111 VIRGIN 127
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.30 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 2.00pm
Trawlermen 3.00 Gavin & Stacey 5.00
Cops UK: Bodycam Squad 7.00 Cop Car
Workshop 8.00 Into the Fire 9.00 Have I
Got a Bit More News for You 10.00 QI XL
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.40 Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtles (S)
10.15 Football on 5: The
Championship (R) (S)
11.10 Football on 5: Goal Rush
(R) (S)
11.45 Traffic Cops (R) (S)
12.45 pm FILM Oliver! (1968)
Musical starring Ron
Moody (S)
3.35 FILM The Deep End of
the Ocean (1999) Drama
starring Michelle Pfeiffer
(S)
5.45 FILM Marley & Me
(2008) Comedy drama
starring Owen Wilson
and Jennifer Aniston (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Folk Awards 2018: Julie
Fowlis presents the show
SEX ROBOTS AND US
BBC Three, from
10.00am
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! The sheriffs chase
£10,000 owed by a
publican to a contractor
(R) (S)
8.55 News The day’s
headlines (S)
9.00 When Live News Goes
Horribly Wrong
g Moira
Stuart narrates
memorable mishaps
from live news
broadcasts, including the
President of Estonia
walking
lki g outt off an
interview with Dermot
Murnaghan (S)
11.50 Football On 5: The
Checkatrade Trophy (S)
12.20am Criminals
Caught on Camera (R) (S)
1.10 SuperCasino (S) 3.10
FILM Resident Evil:
Afterlife (2010) Action
horror sequel starring
Milla Jovovich (AD) (S)
4.45 House Doctor (R)
(S) (SL) 5.10 Great
Scientists (R) (S) (SL)
5.35 - 6.00am Wildlife
SOS (R) (S) (SL)
11.00 Live at the Apollo 12.00 - 1.20am
Room 101
D I S C OV E RY
SKY
Y 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Wheeler Dealers 1.00pm Mysteries
of the Missing 2.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A
Murder Declassified 6.00 Deadliest Catch
8.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A Murder
Declassified 9.00 Blowing Up History
10.00 Secrets of the Underground 11.00
Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail 12.00 - 1.00am
Blowing Up History
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY
Y 136 VIRGIN 106
11.30am FILM Step Up 4: Miami Heat
(2012) An aspiring dancer joins forces
with a street performance crew to save a
neighbourhood from demolition. Dance
drama sequel, starring Kathryn
McCormick and Ryan Guzman 1.30pm
The Goldbergs 2.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
2.30 The Big Bang Theory 5.55 Young
James Young, an
amputee who created his
own bionic arm, meets
the people who design
sex robots and hears
about their plans for
them, from being given
to old people’s homes to
“employment” in
brothels. But is it the
harmless, even socially
responsible pursuit that
they claim?
FOLK AWARDS 2018
BBC Four, 9.00pm
Mark Radcliffe and Julie
Fowlis introduce
highlights from this
year’s Radio 2 Folk
Awards in Belfast. It
features performances
from Cara Dillon,
Lankum and Eliza
Carthy and the Wayward
Band. The great Nick
Drake will also be
inducted into the Hall
of Fame, his genius
long-established, even if
such recognition eluded
him during his short life.
Producer Dónal Lunny,
meanwhile, receives the
Lifetime Achievement
Award for decades of
tireless work promoting
the renaissance in Irish
music, plus The Armagh
Pipers Club are
presented with the Good
Tradition Award. GT
Sheldon 6.25 The Big Bang Theory 6.50
FILM Night at the Museum (2006) The
exhibits at a New York museum come to
life and run riot after dark, causing
mayhem for the nightwatchman. Fantasy
comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Dick Van
Dyke and Robin Williams 9.00 Marvel’s
Agents of SHIELD 10.00 The
Inbetweeners 11.10 The Big Bang Theory
12.00 - 1.10am Tattoo Fixers
GOLD
SKY
Y 110 VIRGIN 124
11.35am Only Fools and Horses 8.00pm
Dad’s Army 8.40 Gavin & Stacey 10.35
Men Behaving Badly 11.15 Dylan Moran:
Like, Totally 12.20 - 1.40am Monty
Python’s Best Bits (Mostly)
H I S T O RY
SKY
Y 529 VIRGIN 270
noon Forged in Fire 8.00pm The Curse of
Oak Island: Digging Deeper 9.00 Ozzy &
Jack’s American Roadtrip 10.00 American
***
37
BBC Four
Sky Arts
SKY
Y 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY
Y 315 VIRGIN 428
Film4
Sky One
7.00 pm Only Connect Round
three losers the
Detectives and the
Vikings return for a last
chance (R) (S)
7.30 University Challenge
The quarter-final
matches conclude (R) (S)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights of day four in
Queensland (S)
9.00 Folk Awards 2018
Mark Radcliffe and
Julie Fowlis present
from Belfast’s Waterfront
Hall See What to watch
(S)
10.00 The Sky at Night (S)
10.30 Horizon: The End of the
Solar System (R) (S)
11.30 Conversations: Michael
Heseltine (S)
12.30 am How to Be
Bohemian with Victoria
Coren Mitchell (AD) (R)
(S)
1.30 Revolution and
Romance: Musical
Masters of the 19th
Century (AD) (R) (S)
2.30 - 3.30am Horizon (R) (S)
(SL)
12.00 noon Discovering:
Leslie Howard (AD) (S)
1.00 pm Sinatra and Friends
2.00 When Patsy Cline Was
Crazy (S)
3.00 Giselle Natalia Osipova
and Carlos Acosta star in
Peter Wright’s Royal
Ballet production of
Marius Petipa’s classic
version of the ballet
5.00 Andre Rieu: Falling in
Love: Live in Maastricht
2016 The Dutch violinist
performs in the square of
his home town with the
concert featuring
romantic favourites such
as My Heart Will Go On,
Memory and Somewhere
Over the Rainbow
8.00 The Nineties More of the
decade’s most
memorable television
shows
9.00 Foo Fighters: Austin
City Limits The rock
band perform for the US
music programme
10.15 L7: Pretend We’re Dead
Documentary
12.10 - 2.10am REM by MTV
(S)
11.00 am My Neighbour
Totoro (1988) Animated
fantasy with the voice of
Dakota Fanning (S)
1.00 pm Paddington (2014)
Family comedy starring
Hugh Bonneville (AD) (S)
2.50 How to Train Your
Dragon (2010) Animated
fantasy with the voice of
Jay Baruchel (AD) (S)
4.40 Tooth Fairy (2010)
Family comedy starring
Dwayne Johnson (S)
6.45 Ender’s Game (2013) A
gifted boy is trained to
lead Earth’s military
forces into battle against
the threat of an alien
attack. Sci-fi adventure
starring Asa Butterfield
and Harrison Ford (AD)
(S)
9.00 The Last Witch Hunter
(2015) Fantasy adventure
starring Vin Diesel (S)
11.05 Bad Teacher (2011)
Comedy starring
Cameron Diaz (AD) (S)
12.50 - 3.00am sex, lies and
videotape (1989) Drama
starring James Spader
(AD) (S)
12.00 noon MacGyver (R)
1.00 pm Flying Monsters
with David
Attenborough (AD) (R)
(S)
2.30 Making David
Attenborough’s Flying
Monsters (R) (S)
3.30 Modern Family (R)
4.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
4.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.30 Revolution Inline
skaters, BMXers and
skateboarders go headto-head
7.30 The Simpsons (R)
8.00 MacGyver Old enemies
put Jack’s life in
jeopardy
9.00 Hawaii Five-0 The
corpse of a diamond
smuggler is stolen from
a graveyard
10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
11.00 In the Long Run (R)
11.30 A League of Their
Own: Unseen (AD) (R)
(S)
12.00 - 1.00am The Blacklist
(R)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY
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FV 6 FS 113 SKY
Y 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY
Y 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
11.40 am The Voice UK: Live
Final (R) (S)
1.30 pm FILM Nanny McPhee
and the Big Bang
g (2010)
Fantasy comedy starring
Emma Thompson.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
3.40 FILM The Smurfs 2
(2013) Fantasy comedy
sequel starring Hank
Azaria. Includes FYI Daily
(AD) (S)
5.45 FILM Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory
(2005) Children’s fantasy
starring Johnny Depp.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
8.00 FILM Spectre (2015)
James Bond thriller
starring Daniel Craig.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
10.55 Family Guy (AD)
(R) (S)
11.25 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.50 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.20 am Family Guy (AD) (R)
(S)
12.50 - 1.20am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.10 am Agatha Christie’s
Marple (R) (S)
12.20 pm FILM Columbo: A
Deadly State of Mind
(1975, TVM) Drama with
Peter Falk (AD) (S)
1.55 A Touch of Frost (R) (S)
4.00 Vera DCI Vera Stanhope
finds a kindred spirit in
the son of a murdered
woman and comes to
realise the key to the
case is hidden deep in
his memory (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Lewis A professor is
found dead on
Halloween with a stake
through her heart and it
turns out she was an old
student friend of Hobson
(AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Larry Grayson: Shut
That Door! Documentary
exploring the
entertainer’s life (R) (S)
10.00 An Audience with
Victoria Wood The
comedian entertains a
celebrity audience (R) (S)
11.10 - 1.00am FILM Carry On
Dick
k (1974) Comedy
starring Sid James (S)
10.15 am Live British Touring
Car Championship
Coverage of round one
from Brands Hatch Indy
Circuit in Kent (S)
6.20 pm Nijinsky’s Triple
Crown (R)
6.25 Pawn Stars (AD) (R) (S)
6.55 The Big Fish Offf (R) (S)
7.55 Mr Bean The hapless fool
sits an exam (AD) (R)
8.30 Mr Bean The buffoon
meets royalty (AD) (R)
9.00 An Audience with Billy
Connolly The comedian
descends on London to
entertain a celebrity
crowd, covering topics
including ageing, parties
and his idea for a new
national anthem (R) (S)
10.05 FILM Conan the
Destroyer (1984) Fantasy
adventure sequel starring
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
12.15 - 2.30am FILM 6 Bullets
(2012) Action thriller
starring Jean-Claude Van
Damme. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
12.00 noon Without a Trace
(R) (S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 David Attenborough’s
Wild City (AD) (R) (S)
3.00 David Attenborough’s
Wild City (AD) (R) (S)
4.00 David Attenborough’s
Wild City (AD) (R) (S)
5.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
6.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
7.00 Blue Bloods Erin crossexamines Danny in
court (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods A firearms
amnesty causes
problems for Danny
(AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Save Me Nelly
confronts a pub regular
about their role in
Jody’s disappearance
(AD) (R)
10.00 Real Time with Bill
Maher
11.10 Silicon Valley (R)
11.45 Billions (R) (S)
12.55 - 2.10am The
Sopranos (R) (S)
W
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY
Y 413 VIRGIN 531
ITV2
Ripper in London 11.00 WW2 Treasure
Hunters 12.00 - 1.00am Project Nazi
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY
Y 138 VIRGIN 147
11.00am Vet on the Hill 12.05pm Come
Dine with Me 2.40 Four in a Bed 5.20
Come Dine with Me 7.55 The Supervet. A
Jackahuahua puppy is in need of
emergency spinal surgery 9.00 Emergency
Helicopter Medics 10.00 999: What’s
Your Emergency? 11.05 24 Hours in A&E
12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
USA 1.05 Emergency Helicopter Medics
2.05 999: What’s Your Emergency? 3.10 4.00am 8 Out of 10 Cats
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY
Y 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Seconds from Disaster 6.00pm Car
SOS 7.00 One Strange Rock 8.00 Bloody
Tales of the Tower 11.00 - 5.00am
Seconds from Disaster
SKY
Y 109 VIRGIN 125
FV 24 FS 117 SKY
Y 120 VIRGIN 118
noon Doctor Who 4.00pm My Family
6.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
7.00 Inside the Ambulance 9.00 Black
Power: America’s Armed Resistance. Dan
Murdoch follows up on his report into
race tensions in the US, revisiting
members of the Ku Klux Klan, and hearing
from representatives of the Black
Liberation Movement 10.10 999 Rescue
Squad 11.10 Inside the Ambulance
12.10am Gavin & Stacey 12.50 - 1.45am
Black Power: America’s Armed Resistance
SKY
Y 401 VIRGIN 511
Y E S T E R D AY
SKY
Y 402 VIRGIN 512
FV 19 FS 159 SKY
Y 537 VIRGIN 245
11.00am Boogie Fever: A TOTP2 Disco
Special 1.00pm Wild China 7.00 We Have
Been Watching Blackadder,
Outnumbered, Only Fools and Horses and
Extras are appraised 8.00 ’Allo ’Allo!
10.10 What a Carry On! 11.15 - 1.15am
Trading History
6.00am Live HSBC Sevens World Series
9.00 Masters Breakfast: Live noon Goals
on Sunday 1.30pm Live Nissan Super
Sunday 4.15 Live Nissan Super Sunday
6.30 The Masters: Live 12.30am
Masters: The Last Nine on Sunday 1.30
McIlroy: A Decade on Tour 2.00 - 6.00am
Sky Sports News
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
noon Goals on Sunday 1.30pm Live
Nissan Super Sunday 4.15 Live Nissan
Super Sunday 7.00 Premier League
Highlights 8.00 My First: Jurgen Klopp
8.30 Goals on Sunday 10.00 Premier
League Highlights 11.00 Best PL Goals:
Merseyside Derby 11.30 Best PL Goals:
Manchester Derby 12.00 - 1.00am
Premier League Highlights
SKY
Y 108
BT SPORT 1
7.00am Mobil 1: The Grid 7.30 Live
AFL 10.30 In Conversation with David
Tanner 11.30 Live Scottish Football
Extra noon Live SPFL 2.45pm Live
Aviva Premiership Rugby Union. Exeter
Chiefs v Gloucester (Kick-off 3.00pm)
5.00 Live Serie A. Udinese v Lazio (Kickoff 5.00pm). Coverage of the Italian
top-flight clash from Dacia Arena 7.00
NBA Action 7.30 Live Serie A. AC Milan
v Sassuolo (Kick-off 7.45pm). Coverage
of the Italian top-flight clash from San
Siro 9.45 Vanarama National League
Highlights 10.15 World Rally
Championship 10.45 NBA Reload
11.00 Live NBA. Memphis Grizzlies v
Detroit Pistons (Tip-off 11.00pm).
Coverage of the inter-conference clash
from FedEx Forum 1.30am Scottish
Football Extra 2.00 Scottish
Professional Football League 3.30 6.00am Aviva Premiership Rugby
Highlights
38
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION MONDAY 9 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
I spy: a recruit sees if she’s got what it takes to be an SOE agent
SECRET AGENT SELECTION: WW2
BBC Two, 9.00pm
Not unlike Channel 4’s
SAS: Who Dares Wins and
BBC Two’s Astronauts: Do
You Have What It Takes?,
this absorbing new series
puts a group of recruits
through a series of
gruelling physical and
psychological challenges
to see if they could make
the grade as a secret
agent according to an
established selection test
used during the Second
World War. This test was
used by the Special
Operations Executive
(SOE) to determine
whether recruits from
many different walks of
life would be capable of
being dropped behind
enemy lines and
surviving as a covert
officer with a brief to
cause the maximum
disruption possible to the
enemy in the territory.
As with the original
SOE, the 14 candidates
come from diverse
backgrounds (among
them a research scientist,
a property developer,
former police officer, a
drag act performer, a
retired investment banker
and an Army veteran).
In the opening episode,
they undergo the initial
four-day assessment at a
remote Scottish countryhouse estate. The aim is
to winnow out weakness
and determine who
should win a place
on the advanced, and
suitably terrifying,
course in assassination,
sabotage and covert
intelligence techniques.
Gerard O’Donovan
800 WORDS
BBC One, 2.15pm
If you like The Durrells
you will definitely want
to watch hit Australian
comedy drama 800
Words. This gently funny
series follows George
(Erik Thomson), a
widower, who horrifies
his teenaged children
when he moves the entire
family to a remote seaside
town in New Zealand.
SPRINGTIME ON
THE FARM
Channel 5, 8.00pm
This is the first of five
shows this week
celebrating the “great
British farmer”, with the
help of Yorkshire Vet stars
Peter Wright and Julian
Norton, Adam Henson
of Countryfile and
Springwatch’s Lindsey
Chapman. In this
programme, they explore
how to cope with the
stresses of lambing.
MASTERCHEF:
THE FINALS
BBC One, 9.00pm
Oodles of challenges lie
800 Words: Erik Thomson
as widower George
ahead for the remaining
amateur chefs in the final
week, which takes them
as far afield as Peru ahead
of Friday’s concluding
cook-off. First, though,
they’re off to North
Yorkshire to cater a
country-house lunch for
local grandees and
farmers.
MARCELLA
ITV, 9.00pm
This drama’s been a little
less fraught the second
time round but Marcella
still pushes the
boundaries of credibility.
In this concluding part,
the heroine (Anna Friel)
tracks down the killer,
only to suffer one of her
unfortunate episodes. GO
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding and
Gabby Logan present
further live coverage
from day five of the
Games in Queensland (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Doctors (AD) (S)
2.15 800 Words New series.
Antipodean comedy
drama starring Erik
Thomson See What to
watch (AD) (S)
3.00 Escape to the Country
(AD) (S)
3.45 Money for Nothing
g (R)
4.30 Flog It! (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six (S)
6.30 Regional News (S)
6.55 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
introduces live coverage
as day five of the Games
continues in Queensland
with artistic gymnastics
and women’s hockey
taking place (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths
(AD) (R) (S)
11.45 Dom on the Spot (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding and
Gabby Logan present as
the men’s 100m final (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 Today at the Games (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(S)
10.30 This Morning
g (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.25 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau:
DIY New series (AD) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show
Presented by Matt Baker
and Alex Jones (S)
7.30 Fake Britain Matt
Allwright investigates
bogus energy-saving
schemes (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Bob and
Laurel fear the truth is
out (AD) (S)
7.30 Coronation Street David
releases his anger in the
boxing ring (AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 EastEnders Phil is on the
warpath as he seeks
revenge on Hunter (AD)
8.30 Panorama: Last Chance
for Justice A report on
the Criminal Cases
Review Commission (S)
8.00 Only Connect Round
three losers the EcoWarriors and the
Escapologists return for a
last chance (S)
8.30 University Challenge
The first semi-final (S)
8.00 The Kyle Files Jeremy
Kyle investigates the
issue of acid attacks. Last
in the series (AD) (S)
8.30 Coronation Street David
faces the consequences
of attacking Gary (AD) (S)
8.00 Dispatches: Britain’s
Diesel Scandal (S)
8.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours in
Oslo Fay Ripley joins
Richard Ayoade on a
mini-break in Norway’s
capital (AD) (S)
9.00 Masterchef: The Finals
The final week of the
cookery challenge gets
under way See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Secret Agent Selection:
WW2 New series. People
undergo the training
programme of the
Special Operations
Executive See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Marcella The detective
tries to save Edward. Last
in the series See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 The Island with Bear
Grylls The two groups
set up camp at opposite
ends of the same beach
(AD) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.45 Have I Got a Bit More
News for You Extended
edition, hosted by
Jeremy Paxman (S)
11.30 The Graham Norton
Show (R) (S) 12.15am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Live athletics,
swimming and road
cycling as day six gets
under way (S) 3.00 6.00am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Further live
coverage of day six in
Queensland (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: 10.40pm Keepin ’er Country
11.10 The BBC Radio 2 Folk Awards:
Belfast 2018 12.10am Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 12.55 The Graham
Norton Show 1.45 - 3.00am
Commonwealth Games 2018
BBC Two: No variations
UTV: 1.05am Teleshopping 2.35 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 10.35pm Scotland Tonight 11.10
The Investigator: A British Crime Story
12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After
Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
10.00 QI With Sally Phillips,
Ross Noble and Nish
Kumar (R) (S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
11.15 The Secret Helpers (AD)
(R) (S) 12.15am FILM Sign
Zone (2017) Oscarwinning short film
starring Maisie Sly (AD)
(S) (SL) 2.10 - 6.00am
News (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.35 Regional News (S)
10.50 The Investigator: A
British Crime Story
Trying to prove several
missing women were
murdered (AD) (R) (S)
11.50 The Kyle Files (AD) (R) (S)
12.15am Last Laugh in
Vegas (AD) (R) (S) 1.05
Jackpot247 3.00 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (R) (S)
(SL) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 - 6.00am The
Jeremy Kyle Show (R) (S)
(SL)
Senghenydd Sirens
WA L E S
BBC One: 7.30 - 8.00pm Sam & Shauna’s
Big Cook Out 10.40 Panorama: Last
Chance for Justice 11.10 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 11.55 The Graham
Norton Show 12.45 - 3.00am
Commonwealth Games 2018
BBC Two: No variations
ITV Wales: 10.50pm Sharp End 11.15 11.50pm Love Your Garden
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.05 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
11.05 Indian Summer School
(AD) (R) (S) 12.05am Lee
and Dean (AD) (R) (S)
12.35 My Online
Nightmare (R) (S) 1.35 I
Don’t Like Mondays (R)
(S) 2.30 George Clarke’s
Old House, New Home
(AD) (R) (S) 3.25 Building
the Dream (AD) (R) (S)
4.20 Kirstie’s Fill Your
House for Free (R) (S)
4.40 The Question Jury
(R) (S) 5.35 - 6.00am
Steph and Dom’s One
Star to Five Star (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY
Y 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 To Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport
3.00 Nothing to Declare 5.00 Border
Security: Canada’s Front Line 6.00 Air
Rescue 7.00 The Real A&E 8.00
Elementary 9.00 Criminal Minds 10.00
Blindspot 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00 1.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Teithiau Tramor Iolo 12.30 Ar Werth
1.00 Celwydd Noeth 1.30 Codi Hwyl 2.00
Newyddion 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00
Newyddion 3.05 Pengelli 3.30 Dilyn y
Don 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh 6.00
Newyddion 6.05 Gwaith/Cartref 7.00
Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm 8.25 Garddio a
Mwy 9.00 Newyddion 9.30 Ffermio
10.00 Ralïo+: Ffrainc 10.30 Bois y Caca
11.00 - 11.35pm Mike Phillips a’r
10.00 Kiss Me First (AD) (S)
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY
Y 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 The Gadget Show (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.15 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.15 FILM Newlywed and
Dead (2016, TVM) Drama
starring Shenae GrimesBeech (S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Lisbon: An Art Lovers’ Guide
– Raminez and Sooke
FAMALAM
BBC Three, from
10.00am
7.00 Aviva Premiership
Rugby Highlights
Highlights from the 19th
round of matches (S)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm
New series. Celebrating
the work of farmers
around the country See
What to watch (S)
9.00 Paddington Station
24/7 There are reports of
a trespasser on the
station’s roof (S)
10.00 Police UK: Armed and
Deadly (S)
11.05 Criminals Caught on
Camera (S) 12.05am
America’s Toughest
Prisons (R) (S) 1.00
SuperCasino (S) 3.10
GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
Cruising with Jane
McDonald (R) (S) (SL)
4.45 House Doctor (R)
(S) (SL) 5.10 Great
Scientists (R) (S) (SL)
5.35 - 6.00am Wildlife
SOS (R) (S) (SL)
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Cop Car Workshop 9.00
Live at the Apollo 10.00 Dara O Briain’s
Go 8 Bit 11.00 Taskmaster 12.00 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY
Y 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 6.00
Wheeler Dealers 8.00 Fast N’ Loud 10.00
Shifting Gears with Aaron Kaufman
11.00 Street Outlaws 12.00 - 1.00am
Fast N’ Loud
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY
Y 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Big Bang Theory
8.30 Young Sheldon 9.00 Made in
After a successful pilot
last year, Vivienne
Acheampong, Gbemisola
Ikumelo, Roxanne
Sternberg, Tom Moutchi
and John MacMillan
return with more
culturally skewed
sketches. Once again,
they feature William and
Funke’s raunchy chat
show, misunderstood
superhero Eclipse,
Croydon’s voodoo
practitioner Professor
Lofuko, and a version of
Midsomer Murders.
LISBON: AN ART
LOVERS’ GUIDE
BBC Four, 9.00pm
Having covered
Barcelona, St Petersburg
and Amsterdam in their
first series of city-break
guides, historian Dr
Janina Ramirez and art
critic Alastair Sooke jet
off to explore three less
obvious, art-rich
destinations. Beirut and
Baku are perhaps the
more intriguing but it
opens in Lisbon, which
built up its art reserves
during the centuries
Portugal was part of one
of the world’s great
empires, and currently
boasts one of the hottest
contemporary art scenes
in Europe. GO
Chelsea 10.00 Don’t Tell the Bride Ireland
11.05 The Big Bang Theory 12.05 1.10am First Dates
GOLD
SKY
Y 110 VIRGIN 124
11.20am You Rang, M’Lord? 12.20pm
The Green Green Grass 1.00 Only Fools
and Horses 1.40 As Time Goes By 2.20
Waiting for God 3.00 Open All Hours
3.40 Last of the Summer Wine 5.00 The
Green Green Grass 5.40 As Time Goes By
6.20 Dad’s Army 7.00 You Rang, M’Lord?
8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40 Only Fools and
Horses 9.20 Fawlty Towers 10.40 Mrs
Brown’s Boys 11.20 The Fast Show 12.00
- 1.10am Bridget & Eamon
H I S T O RY
SKY
Y 529 VIRGIN 270
noon Project Impossible 1.00pm Pawn
Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
(R) (S)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights of day five in
Queensland (S)
9.00 Lisbon: An Art Lovers’
Guide New series. Janina
Ramirez and Alastair
Sooke go a cultural break
in the Portuguese capital
See What to watch (AD)
10.00 David Hurn: A Life in
Pictures (R) (S)
10.40 Cinema Through the
Eye of Magnum (AD) (R)
(S)
11.35 Dan Cruickshank: At
Home with the British
(AD) (R) (S)
12.35 am Top of the Pops:
1983 (R) (S)
1.10 Top of the Pops: 1983
(R) (S)
1.40 Nature’s Microworlds
(R) (S)
2.10 - 3.10am Lisbon: An Art
Lovers’ Guide (AD) (R)
(S) (SL)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY
Y 116 VIRGIN 107
39
Film4
Sky One
12.00 noon The Sixties (AD)
(S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Leslie
Howard (AD) (S)
2.00 Watercolour Challenge
(S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Two Tone
(S)
5.00 The Sixties (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Eli Wallach
(AD) (S)
7.00 Auction New series.
Letters written by Verdi
go under the hammer
7.30 Johnny Cash: A Legend
in Concert
8.20 Andre Rieu: Live in
Maastricht VI A
hometown concert from
2012
11.00 The South Bank Show
Originals
11.30 The South Bank Show
Originals
12.00 Urban Myths: Bob Dylan
(S)
12.30 - 1.00am Urban Myths:
Samuel Beckett and
Andre the Giant (S)
11.00 am Kiki’s Delivery
Service (1989) Animated
fantasy with the voice of
Kirsten Dunst (S)
1.15 pm Shark Tale (2004)
Comedy with the voice
of Will Smith (S)
3.00 Dr Dolittle (1998)
Comedy starring Eddie
Murphy (S)
4.40 Johnny English (2003)
Spy comedy starring
Rowan Atkinson (AD) (S)
6.25 The Core (2003) A team
of scientists embarks on a
risky mission to save the
world from destruction
after the Earth’s core
stops spinning. Sci-fi with
Aaron Eckhart USee
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
9.00 Triple 9 (2016) A gang of
corrupt police is
blackmailed into a heist,
and is forced to kill a
fellow officer to carry out
the plan. Thriller with
Chiwetel Ejiofor USee
Films of the week, p32
11.15 - 1.20am Kick-Ass 2 (2013)
Comedy with Aaron
Taylor-Johnson (AD) (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 Supergirl Morgan Edge
survives an
assassination attempt
9.00 FILM The Bone
Collector (1999) A
quadriplegic ex-cop
helps a rookie officer
hunt for a serial killer
who takes gruesome
trophies from his
victims’ bodies. Thriller
starring Denzel
Washington and
Angelina Jolie
11.15 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.10 - 1.05am Air
Ambulance ER (AD) (R)
(S)
SKY
Y 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY
Y 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY
Y 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY
Y 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY
Y 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.20 am The Bachelor (R) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.15 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 Family Guy (AD) (S)
9.30 American Dad! (AD) (S)
10.00 Plebs New series (AD) (S)
10.30 Plebs (AD) (S)
11.00 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.55 American Dad! (AD) (R)
12.25 - 2.20am FILM
American Pie (1999)
Coming-of-age comedy
starring Jason Biggs (AD)
(S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse
(AD) (R) (S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street Ken and Fiona
break into Neptune
House (R)
3.50 On the Buses Jack asks
Arthur’s sister out on a
date (R) (S)
4.20 On the Buses Jack is
offered a new job (R) (S)
4.55 You’re Only Young
Twice (R) (S)
5.25 Rising Damp (R) (S)
5.55 Heartbeat A suspicious
death is investigated (R)
(S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote A
best-selling author is
murdered (AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Lewis A body is found on
an Oxford tour bus (AD)
(R) (S)
10.00 DCI Banks (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 DCI Banks (AD) (R) (S)
12.05 - 1.05am Scott & Bailey
(AD) (R) (S) (SL)
11.35 am The Avengers
(R) (S)
12.45 pm Ironside (AD) (R) (S)
1.50 Quincy ME (R) (S)
2.50 Minder (AD) (R) (S)
3.50 The Saint (R) (S)
4.55 The Avengers (R) (S)
6.00 Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
6.30 Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
7.00 Pawn Stars (R) (S)
7.25 Pawn Stars Rick
discovers some of the
stock has been broken
(R) (S)
7.55 Mr Bean The bumbling
hero visits the swimming
pool (AD) (R)
8.30 Mr Bean (AD) (R)
9.00 FILM Lethal Weapon 2
(1989) Action thriller
sequel starring Mel
Gibson and Danny
Glover. Includes FYI Daily
(AD) (S)
11.20 - 1.30am FILM Red Heat
(1988) Action thriller
starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger and
James Belushi. Includes
FYI Daily (AD) (S)
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (R) (S)
3.00 The West Wing
(R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing
g (R) (S)
5.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 House (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation Two
bodies are discovered
(R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Jamie risks
ruining his undercover
work to save a child’s
life (R) (S)
9.00 Blue Bloods Danny and
Jackie are assigned to
protect a witness (AD)
(R) (S)
10.00 Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver A
satirical look at news
and pop culture
10.35 Our Cartoon President
(R)
11.10 Real Time with Bill
Maher (R)
12.20 am Crashing
g (R) (S)
12.55 - 1.30am Divorce (R)
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
9.00 James Nesbitt: Disasters That
Changed Britain 10.00 Project Impossible
11.00 Monsterquest 12.00 - 2.00am
Frontiersmen from Leonardo DiCaprio
Crash Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00
Air Crash Investigation 8.00 Car SOS
9.00 Seconds from Disaster 11.00 Air
Crash Investigation 12.00 - 1.00am
Strippers: Cars for Cash
Wiedersehen, Pet 11.00 - 1.00am One
Foot in the Grave
Premier League Highlights 9.00
Premier League Review 10.00 The
Debate 11.00 Premier League Review
12.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30
- 1.00am PL Greatest Games
MORE4
W
SKY
Y 401 VIRGIN 511
FV 14 FS 124 SKY
Y 138 VIRGIN 147
SKY
Y 109 VIRGIN 125
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s
Love It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of
the Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Car SOS
10.00 Flights from Hell: Caught on
Camera 11.05 24 Hours in A&E 12.05am
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.05
Car SOS 2.05 24 Hours in A&E 3.10 3.45am 8 Out of 10 Cats
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 One Born Every Minute
10.00 Babies: Special Delivery 11.00
Gavin & Stacey 12.20 - 1.20am Inside
the Ambulance
ITV2
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY
Y 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm To
Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport 3.00 Air
Y E S T E R D AY
FV 19 FS 159 SKY
Y 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Time Team 1.00pm Wild Caribbean
2.00 Madagascar 3.00 Coast 4.00
Scotland’s Murder Mysteries 5.00 World
War Weird 6.00 Churchill’s Bodyguard
7.00 Forbidden History 9.00 Auf
FV 24 FS 117 SKY
Y 120 VIRGIN 118
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
noon Sky Sports News 3.00pm Live
Indian Premier League. Sunrisers
Hyderabad v Rajasthan Royals. Coverage
of the match from the Rajiv Gandhi
International Cricket Stadium, Hyderabad
7.30 Sky Sports Tonight 8.00 How the
2018 Masters Was Won 10.00 The
Debate 11.00 - 1.00am Sky Sports News
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY
Y 402 VIRGIN 512
11.00am Goals on Sunday 12.30pm
Premier League Highlights 4.30 Premier
League 100 Club 5.00 Soccer AM: The
Best Bits 5.30 Premier League Highlights
6.30 Best PL Goals: North London Derby
7.00 Premier League Review 8.00
SKY
Y 108
BT SPORT 1
SKY
Y 413 VIRGIN 531
noon Aviva Premiership Rugby
Highlights 2.30pm Ligue 1 Highlights
3.30 NBA 5.00 NBA Inside Stuff 5.30
Premier League Review 6.30 Ladbrokes
SPFL Highlights 7.00 30 for 30 Shorts
7.15 Live Bundesliga. RB Leipzig v
Bayer Leverkusen (Kick-off 7.30pm).
Coverage of the German top-flight
clash from Red Bull Arena 9.30
Vanarama National League Highlights
10.00 BT Sport Goals Reload 10.30
MotoGP 11.30 MotoGP Chequered Flag
12.30 - 3.00am Live NBA. Miami Heat
v Oklahoma City Thunder (Tip-off
12.30am). Coverage of the interconference clash from American
Airlines Arena
40
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION TUESDAY 10 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Back to school: Mark, who has two sons with autism
CLASS OF MUM AND DAD
Channel 4, 8.00pm
Another week, another
Channel 4 series about
education. Hold off on the
black marks, however,
because this one is pretty
good. The premise is
simple: Blackrod Primary
School just outside of
Bolton has thrown open
its doors to a class made
up of pupils’ parents (and
one grandparent).
They’ve agreed to go
back to school for the
summer term to see
what modern education
is really like, sports day,
Sats tests and all.
Naturally, its harder than
many of them were
expecting – 36-year-old
decorator Jonny states
early on that he thought
he’d be able to slope off
for a swift cigarette break
rather than having to
adhere to strict class rules
– but there are some
touching stories amid the
more obvious moments.
Most notably, this
opening episode focuses
on two parents with
challenging home lives
– Julia, who is raising her
10-year-old cousin Asha
after Asha’s mother died,
and Mark, who has two
autistic sons. While the
parents’ travails are
interesting, the children
are the real scenestealers, however, from
those delighted that their
mothers and fathers are
taking part to those who
are more sceptical. The
pair of five-year-olds who
spend their time corpsing
in front of the camera are
particularly endearing.
Sarah Hughes
THIS TIME NEXT YEAR
ITV, 8.00pm
Davina McCall returns
with another set of
heart-tugging stories of
people attempting to
transform their lives over
the course of a year. First
up are two new parents
who dream of making life
wonderful for their baby
girl who has been deaf
since birth and a couple
desperate to start a family.
COME HOME
BBC One, 9.00pm
Danny Brocklehurst’s
claustrophobic family
drama comes to a head
as we flashback to find
out exactly what went
wrong in Greg
(Christopher Eccleston)
and Marie’s (Paula
Malcomson) marriage.
HOSPITAL
BBC Two, 9.00pm
The engrossing fly-onthe-wall medical series
continues with
Nottingham University
Hospitals Trust struggling
to cope with the new NHS
ruling regarding the
Cunk on Britain: Diane
Morgan as Philomena Cunk
cancellation of all
non-urgent surgery. The
episode focuses on Val, a
55-year-old with mouth
cancer whose surgeon is
desperately trying to
ensure that her operation
goes ahead.
CUNK ON BRITAIN
BBC Two, 10.00pm;
NI, 11.15pm
Diana Morgan’s pitchperfect send-up of history
programmes moves to
the Tudor era and beyond
as Cunk takes on Henry
VIII, aka “The kingiest
king who kinged over
Britain” before giving us
her unique perspective
on “Bloody” Mary Tudor
(“horrible like the drink”)
and Elizabeth I. SH
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding and
Gabby Logan present
further live coverage on
day six in Queensland,
featuring various
athletics finals at the
Carrara Stadium (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Doctors (AD) (S)
2.15 800 Words (AD) (S)
3.00 Escape to the Country
(AD) (S)
3.45 Money for Nothing (R)
(S)
4.30 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News (S)
6.55 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
presents live coverage as
the sixth day of the
Games continues (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths
(AD) (R) (S)
11.45 Dom on the Spot (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Jason Mohammad
introduces the
concluding programme
of live coverage from day
six in Queensland (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 Today at the Games (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(S)
10.30 This Morning (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.25 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau:
DIY (AD) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show Live chat
and topical reports (S)
7.30 EastEnders Hunter is
upset after hearing his
mum and Phil talking
about their past (AD) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Charity
confronts her past (AD)
(S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 Holby City A revelation
about Gaskell forces
Roxanna to choose
where her loyalties lie
(AD) (S)
8.00 Great Indian Railway
Journeys Michael Portillo
travels from Lucknow to
Kolkata. Last in the series
(AD) (S)
8.00 This Time Next Year
New series. Davina
McCall returns with more
participants taking on
12-month challenges See
What to watch (AD) (S)
8.00 Class of Mum and Dad
New series. Parents
study the year six
curriculum alongside
their own children See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Come Home Greg and
Marie hurtle towards a
divisive family court
case. Last in the series
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
9.00 Hospital Cameras follow
a mouth cancer patient
and her surgeon See
What to watch (S)
9.00 Last Laugh in Vegas A
few of the rehearsing
celebrities meet a Native
American medicine man
(AD) (S)
9.00 Seven Year Switch All
four couples use their
recent relationship
experiences for everyday
life. Last in the series
(AD) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.45 This Country Kerry’s dad
asks for a favour, and
Kurtan has a new sense
of purpose. Last in the
series (AD) (S)
11.15 Generation Screwed? (R)
(S) 11.55 Commonwealth
Games 2018 Live netball,
hockey and diving
coverage on day seven
(S) 3.00 - 6.00am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Live netball, hockey
and diving coverage on
day seven (S)
10.00 Cunk on Britain
Philomena explores the
era from King Henry the
Eighth to Horatio Nelson
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 The Cruise: Sailing the
Caribbean Life on board
the Royal Princess during
a busy season around
the Caribbean (AD) (R)
(S)
Variations
Teleshopping
ITV REGIONS
WA L E S
N IRELAND
BBC One: 10.40pm Hayley 11.10 This
Country 11.40 Generation Screwed?
12.20 - 3.00am Commonwealth Games
2018
BBC Two: No variations
ITV Wales: No variations
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.00 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: 10.00 - 10.30pm Keepin ’er
Country 11.15 Cunk on Britain 11.40 12.15am Live at the Apollo
UTV: 10.45 - 11.15pm Love Your Garden
1.00am Teleshopping 2.30 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: 8.00 - 9.00pm River City
10.45 Holby City 11.45 This Country
12.15 - 3.00am Commonwealth Games
2018
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight 11.05
Tonight at the London Palladium
12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After
Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 - 6.00am
11.15 Amazing Hotels: Life
Beyond the Lobby (AD)
(R) (S) 12.15am The
Super League Show (S)
1.00 Sign Zone (AD) (R)
(S) (SL) 3.50 - 6.00am
News (S)
11.15 Heroes and Villains:
Caught on Camera (R) (S)
12.10am The Durrells
(AD) (R) (S) 1.00
Jackpot247 3.00 Loose
Women (R) 3.45 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05 6.00am The Jeremy Kyle
Show (R) (S) (SL)
11.05 One Born Every Minute
(AD) (R) (S) 12.05am
Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (R) (S)
12.55 The Island with
Bear Grylls (AD) (R) (S)
(SL) 1.50 The Supervet
(R) (S) 2.45 Dispatches:
Britain’s Diesel Scandal
(AD) (R) (S) 3.15 George
Clarke’s Old House, New
Home (AD) (R) (S) 4.10
Building the Dream (AD)
(R) (S) 5.05 - 6.00am
The Question Jury (R) (S)
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 To Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport
3.00 Nothing to Declare 5.00 Border
Security: Canada’s Front Line 6.00 Air
Rescue 7.00 The Real A&E 8.00
Elementary 9.00 Chicago Fire 10.00 How
to Get Away with Murder 11.00 Criminal
Minds 12.00 - 1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Dudley ar Daith 12.30 Yr Anialwch 1.30
Only Men Aloud 2.00 Newyddion 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion 3.05 John
ac Alun 3.30 Popeth ar Ffilm 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh 5.45 FI: Wembley
6.00 Newyddion 6.05 04 Wal 6.30
Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y
Cwm 8.00 Ffit Cymru 9.00 Newyddion
9.30 Y Byd ar Bedwar 10.00 Band Cymru
2018 11.00 - 11.35pm Pobol y Rhondda
10.00 Gogglebox (AD) (R) (S)
D AV E
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff (S)
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.20 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.20 FILM Nightmare 911
(2015, TVM) Thriller
starring Fiona
Gubelmann (S)
5.00 News (R) (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
7.00 MotoGP Highlights The
MotoGP Grand Prix of
Argentina (S)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm
JLS member-turnedfarmer JB Gill helps out
on a night shift (S)
9.00 Made in Yorkshire Part
one of two. John Prescott
explores Yorkshire
factories (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Here and Now: Holly Hunter
stars as Audrey
HERE AND NOW
Sky Atlantic, 9.00pm
With only two episodes
left to go, Alan Ball’s
family drama continues
to tread water in the
most frustrating ways.
On paper, there are a
whole bunch of
interesting stories in the
mix, from Kristen’s
(Sosie Bacon) possible
relationship with Navid
(Marwan Salama) to
Ramon’s (Daniel Zovatto)
continuing visions, but
the problem is nothing
much happens with any
of them as each story
moves on only
incrementally each
week. In this episode,
Audrey (Holly Hunter)
finally turns the tables
on the perpetually smug
Greg (Tim Robbins).
DIVORCE
Sky Atlantic, 10.10pm
10.00 Secrets of the Great
Yorkshire Castle (AD)
(R) (S)
11.05 The Great Yorkshire
Bridge (R) (S) 12.05am
Housing Yorkshire:
Somewhere Called Home
(R) (S) 1.00 SuperCasino
3.10 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
My Mum’s Hotter Than
Me! (R) (S) (SL) 4.45
House Doctor (R) (S) (SL)
5.10 Great Scientists (R)
(S) (SL) 5.35 - 6.00am
Wildlife SOS (R) (S) (SL)
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Scrappers 9.00 Would I
Lie to You? at Christmas 9.40 Would I Lie
to You? 10.20 Would I Lie to You? The
Unseen Bits 11.00 Live at the Apollo
12.00 - 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Nazi UFO Conspiracy 6.00 Wheeler
Dealers 8.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
10.00 Running Wild with Bear Grylls
11.00 Fast N’ Loud 12.00 - 1.00am Gold
Rush: Parker’s Trail
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
The acerbic Sarah
Jessica Parker sitcom
has been firing on all
cylinders throughout its
second series – possibly
because it’s more
interesting watching
Frances (Parker) and
Robert (the excellent
Thomas Haden Church)
navigate life after
divorce than it was
watching them get there.
Here, Frances tries to
make a new contact in
the art world. SH
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Big Bang Theory: A
Dark Knight 9.00 Gotham 10.00 FILM
Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009) A
werewolf leads a revolution against the
vampire king who has enslaved his race,
starting a centuries-long war. Fantasy
horror prequel, starring Michael Sheen
and Bill Nighy 11.45 The Big Bang Theory
12.40 - 1.45am First Dates
GOLD
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
11.20am You Rang, M’Lord? 12.20pm
The Green Green Grass 1.00 As Time Goes
By 1.40 Waiting for God 2.20 Only Fools
and Horses 3.00 Open All Hours 3.40
Last of the Summer Wine 5.00 The Green
Green Grass 5.40 As Time Goes By 6.20
Dad’s Army 7.00 You Rang, M’Lord? 8.00
Dad’s Army 8.40 Only Fools and Horses
9.20 Mrs Brown’s Boys 10.00 Bridget &
Eamon 10.35 Gimme Gimme Gimme
11.55 Live at the Apollo 12.55 - 1.30am
Bridget & Eamon
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
Exploring the Okavango
Delta in Botswana
(R) (S)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights from day six of
the Games (S)
9.00 The Story of the Jews
The struggle of medieval
Jews to preserve their
identity (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Majesty and Mortar:
Britain’s Great Palaces
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Chivalry and Betrayal:
The Hundred Years War
(R) (S)
12.00 Francesco’s Italy Top to
Toe (AD) (R) (S)
1.00 am Top of the Pops:
1983 (R) (S)
1.30 Top of the Pops: 1983
(R) (S)
2.00 Secret Knowledge:
Stradivarius and Me (R)
(S)
2.35 - 3.35am The Story of
the Jews (AD) (R) (S) (SL)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
41
Film4
Sky One
12.00 noon The Sixties (AD)
(S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Eli
Wallach (AD) (S)
2.00 Watercolour Challenge
(S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Funk Key
moments in the
development of the
genre (S)
5.00 The Sixties America’s
involvement in the
Vietnam War (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Richard
Widmark A profile
of the American actor
(AD) (S)
7.00 The Summer of Love
8.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
9.00 The Nineties
10.00 Discovering: Maximilian
Schell
11.00 Elvis: The Final Hours
(AD) (S)
12.00 Urban Myths:
Muhammad Ali (S)
12.30 - 1.00am Urban Myths:
Hitler the Artist (S)
11.00 am Diary of a Wimpy
Kid: Rodrick Rules (2011)
Children’s comedy sequel
starring Zachary Gordon
(AD) (S)
1.05 pm Thunderbirds
(2004) Sci-fi adventure
starring Bill Paxton (S)
2.50 Garfield: A Tale of Two
Kitties (2006) Family
comedy with the voice of
Bill Murray (S)
4.25 Rio 2 (2014) Animated
comedy sequel with the
voice of Jesse Eisenberg
(AD) (S)
6.25 Battleship (2012) Sci-fi
adventure with Taylor
Kitsch, Liam Neeson and
Alexander Skarsgard (S)
9.00 Speed (1994) A cop tries
to save the passengers
on a bus that is wired to
explode if it goes below
50mph. Action thriller
starring Keanu Reeves
and Sandra Bullock U
See Films of the week,
p32 (S)
11.15 - 1.10am I Give It a Year
(2013) Romantic comedy
with Rose Byrne and Rafe
Spall (AD) (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons
(R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons Homer
tries to smuggle
medication into the
country (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons Moe’s
bar is threatened with
closure (R) (S)
8.00 The Flash A meta
accidentally transfers
Barry’s powers to Iris
9.00 The Blacklist A deadly
viral outbreak forces
Aram out into the field
10.00 A League of Their Own
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Air
Ambulance ER (AD) (R)
(S)
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.20 am The Bachelor (R) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.15 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 FILM Fast & Furious 7
(2015) Action thriller
sequel starring Vin Diesel
USee Films of the
week, p32 (AD) (S)
11.40 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.15 am Family Guy (AD) (R)
(S)
12.40 - 1.10am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse
(AD) (R) (S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.50 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.20 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.50 You’re Only Young
Twice (R) (S)
5.25 Rising Damp (R) (S)
5.55 Heartbeat Jenny and
Dennis cut short their
honeymoon (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote
Metzger’s brother is
accused of murder (AD)
(R) (S)
8.00 Midsomer Murders
Barnaby investigates a
fatal explosion at a
haulage yard (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Scott & Bailey Detective
drama, starring Lesley
Sharp (AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Scott & Bailey (AD) (R)
(S)
12.05 - 2.00am A Touch of
Frost (R) (S) (SL)
11.35
12.45
1.50
2.50
3.50
4.55
6.00
12.00 noon House (R) (S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing
(R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
5.00 House (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A serial
killer preys on victims
who share a birthday
(R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Frank puts
Jamie under house
arrest (AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Here and Now Audrey
turns the tables on
Greg See What to
watch
10.10 Divorce Frances jumps
at the opportunity to
make a new contact in
the art world See What
to watch
10.45 Crashing
11.20 SMILF (R)
11.55 SMILF (R) (S)
12.30 - 1.30am Save Me (AD)
(R)
H I S T O RY
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
ITV2
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
noon Mega Transports 1.00pm Pawn
Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
9.00 Frontiersmen from Leonardo
DiCaprio 11.00 Monsterquest 12.00 1.00am The Curse of Oak Island
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun
5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s Love It or List It
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo 7.55
Grand Designs 9.00 My Floating Home
10.00 Millionaires’ Mansions: Designing
Britain’s Most Exclusive Homes 11.05 24
Hours in A&E 12.10am 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown 1.15 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA 2.15 My Floating Home
3.15 - 3.55am 8 Out of 10 Cats
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm To
Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport 3.00 Air
Crash Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00
Air Crash Investigation 8.00 One Strange
Rock 9.00 Drain the Titanic 10.00
Rosetta: Comet Landing 11.00 Air Crash
Investigation 12.00 - 1.00am Strippers:
Cars for Cash
W
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping
Point. Quiz show, hosted by Ben Shephard
7.00 My Dream Home. A couple eager to
buy their first home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 Who Do You Think You
Are? USA 10.00 999 Rescue Squad
11.00 Gavin & Stacey 12.20 - 1.20am
Inside the Ambulance
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
6.30
7.00
7.30
8.00
9.00
11.05
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
River Monsters Jeremy
Wade goes in search of
the real creature behind
the sea serpent legend
(R) (S)
FILM Rambo: First
Blood Part II (1985) John
Rambo returns to the
jungles of Vietnam on a
mission to rescue
American PoWs and
exact a violent revenge.
Action, with Sylvester
Stallone (AD) (S)
- 1.10am FILM Conan the
Destroyer (1984) Fantasy
adventure sequel starring
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Includes FYI Daily (AD)
(S)
SKY 108
noon Time Team 1.00pm Wild Caribbean
2.00 Madagascar 3.00 Coast 4.00
Private Lives of the Monarchs 5.00 World
War Weird 6.00 Churchill’s Bodyguard
7.00 Deep Wreck Mysteries 8.00 Full
Steam Ahead 9.00 One Foot in the Grave
11.00 - 1.00am Porridge
Review 2.00 PL Best Goals 13/14 3.00
Premier League Highlights 5.00 PL
Best Goals 13/14 6.00 Premier League
Review 7.00 Soccer Special Pre-Match
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special 10.00 PL
Greatest Games 10.15 The Debate
11.15 Premier League Review
12.15am Best PL Goals: North London
Derby 12.45 - 1.00am PL Greatest
Games
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
Y E S T E R D AY
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
noon Sky Sports News 3.00pm Live
Indian Premier League 7.30 Live EFL
10.15 The Debate 11.15 Revista De La
Liga 12.00 - 6.00am Sky Sports News
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Soccer AM: The Best Bits 12.30pm
PL Greatest Games 1.00 Premier League
BT SPORT 1
11.30am MotoGP Chequered Flag
12.30pm Aviva Premiership Rugby
Highlights 3.00 Premier League
Review. Highlights from a mouthwatering weekend of derby action in
the Premier League 4.00 Live WTA
Tennis. Action from the Claro Open
Colsanitas in Bogota, Colombia 10.00
Toyota AFL Highlights Show 10.30 BT
Sport Goals Reload 11.00 Game of the
Week 11.30 WRC Review 12.30 1.00am NBA Inside Stuff
42
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION WEDNESDAY 11 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Family ties: Edgar Ramirez and Penelope Cruz
THE ASSASSINATION OF GIANNI VERSACE:
AMERICAN CRIME STORY
BBC Two, 9.00pm
It’s been fascinating
to discover the “true”
story behind the 1997
murder of fhion designer
Gianni Versace in Ryan
Murphy’s glitzy drama,
which has expertly
depicted the inner
world of the perpetrator,
a Walter Mitty-style
serial killer called
Andrew Cunanan (a
career-defining role
for Darren Criss).
This episode, however,
has a mid-series lull
about it as Cunanan
ascends to the higher
echelons of gay society,
shaping himself
meticulously into the
posh, preppy eye-candy
who saw a sugar daddy
(or two) as his way
to the top. Elsewhere,
the Versace siblings
return at last. Gianni
(Edgar Ramirez), now
in failing health
decides to champion
his insecure sister
Donatella (Penélope
Cruz in a frightful wig)
and turns her into both
designer and muse.
Despite a lack of
characters to root for
– the Versaces’ moments
of vulnerability dissolve
into tedious histrionics
and are eclipsed by
Cunanan’s cold-blooded
machinations – it’s all
quite a fabulous mix of
fashion, high society and
brutal murder, with some
interesting commentary
on homophobia in the
Nineties as well.
Vicki Power
THE SECRET HELPERS
BBC Two, 8.00pm
Watch and weep as timid
elderly widow Lesley
begins a new life as an
out gay woman in this
life-affirming docu-series.
She’s encouraged with
warmth and wisdom by
amateur “sages” from
abroad, who talk to
her secretly through a
hidden earpiece.
BENIDORM
ITV, 9.00pm
Fluffy as candyfloss, this
lewd seaside comedy
provides some fun,
particularly in the retro
casting of stars of
yesteryear. This week, an
exuberant Sammy (Shane
Richie) tries to persuade
Monty (John Challis) that,
after his successful
comeback gig, he is ready
for an evening slot.
ONE BORN EVERY
MINUTE
Channel 4, 9.00pm
This feelgood
documentary series
brings more poignant
tales from a Birmingham
Benidorm: Shane Ritchie
as entertainer Sammy
labour ward. This week
we meet Chantell, about
to deliver her third
child, who regales us
with a moving story
of how parenthood
with partner Phil has
healed the wounds of a
traumatic past.
FIRST DATES
Channel 4, 10.00pm
The thoughtful dating
show pairs up four more
couples, but the road
to love is bumpy –
septuagenarian Deanna
finds her date more
interested in the waiter
than her. More promising
is the match between
Bianca and Teza, who
allow their vulnerabilities
to show. VP
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding and
Gabby Logan present
further live coverage on
the seventh day in
Queensland, featuring
athletics, netball and
diving (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Doctors (AD) (S)
2.15 800 Words (AD) (S)
3.00 Escape to the Country
(AD) (R) (S)
3.45 Money for Nothing (R)
(S)
4.30 Flog It! (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News (S)
6.55 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
introduces live coverage
as day seven of the
Games continues (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths
(AD) (R) (S)
11.45 Dom on the Spot (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Jason Mohammad
presents the concluding
programme of live
coverage on the seventh
day in Queensland (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 Today at the Games (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(S)
10.30 This Morning (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(R) (S)
4.00 Tipping Point (R) (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.25 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau:
DIY (AD) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show Hosted
by Matt Baker and Alex
Jones (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Vanessa
takes matters into her
own hands (AD) (S)
7.30 Coronation Street Eva
struggles with the
prospect of giving up her
baby (AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 MasterChef: The Finals
The final four amateur
cooks embark on a
culinary adventure to
Peru (AD) (S)
8.00 The Secret Helpers This
time, Lesley and Lauren
seek advice from
worldly-wise strangers
See What to watch (AD)
(S)
8.00 Britain’s Brightest
Family Two families
compete in the first
semi-final (AD) (S)
8.30 Coronation Street Toyah
encourages Eva to be
honest with Aidan (AD)
8.00 The Supervet Noel
Fitzpatrick treats a shihtzu cross for its
deformed front legs (AD)
(R) (S)
9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build
Nick Knowles and the
team help a teenager in a
Worcestershire village
(AD) (R) (S)
9.00 The Assassination of
Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story
Andrews targets wealthy
men in San Diego See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.50 Live at the Apollo
Stand-up comedy with
Josh Widdicombe,
Nathan Caton and Celia
Pacquola (R) (S)
9.00 Benidorm Sammy meets
an obsessed fan See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 One Born Every Minute
A couple await the birth
of their third child
together See What to
watch (AD) (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 Uefa Champions League
Highlights Action from
the quarter-final secondleg matches (S)
10.00 First Dates See What to
watch (AD) (S)
11.05 Gogglebox (AD) (R) (S)
12.05am Live from
Abbey Road Classics (S)
12.35 Seven Year Switch
(AD) (R) (S) 1.30 FILM
Wanderlust (2012)
Comedy starring Jennifer
Aniston and Paul Rudd
(S) (SL) 3.05 George
Clarke’s Old House, New
Home (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
Building the Dream (AD)
(R) (S) 4.55 Kirstie’s Fill
Your House for Free (R)
(S) 5.05 - 6.00am The
Question Jury (R) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 A Question of Sport
With Marion Bartoli,
Dominic Cork, Barry
McGuigan, and Martin
Offiah (S)
11.15 Annie: Out of the Ashes
(R) (S) 12.00
Commonwealth Games
2018 Live athletics
coverage on day eight of
the Games (S) 3.00 6.00am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Continued
live coverage of the
athletics on the eighth
day (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: 10.40pm The Top Table 11.40
A Question of Sport 12.10am Annie: Out
of the Ashes 1.00 - 3.00am
Commonwealth Games 2018
BBC Two: No variations
UTV: 12.35am Teleshopping 2.05 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight 11.05
Uefa Champions League Highlights
12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After
Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
10.30 Newsnight (S)
11.15 Hospital (R) (S) 12.15am
Sign Zone (AD) (R) (S)
(SL) 3.50 - 6.00am
News (S)
WA L E S
11.45 When Football Changed
Forever (S) 12.35am
Jackpot247 3.00 Tenable
(R) (S) (SL) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05 6.00am The Jeremy Kyle
Show (R) (S) (SL)
Nightscreen
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
ITV Wales: No variations
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Crwydro 12.30 Only Men Aloud yn
Bollywood 1.30 Garddio a Mwy 2.00
Newyddion 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00
Newyddion 3.05 Pengelli 3.30 Pobol y
Glannau 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh
6.00 Newyddion 6.05 Her yr Hinsawdd
6.30 Mwy o Sgorio 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol
y Cwm 8.25 Celwydd Noeth 9.00
Newyddion 9.30 Ar Werth 10.00 Josh
Griffiths: Mr Marathon 10.30 Galw Nain
Nain Nain 11.05 - 11.40pm Cadw Cwmni
gyda John Hardy
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 12.35 - 3.00am ITV
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY LIVING
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 To Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport
3.00 Nothing to Declare 5.00 Border
Security: Canada’s Front Line 6.00 Air
Rescue 7.00 The Real A&E 8.00
Elementary 9.00 Grey’s Anatomy 10.00
Criminal Minds 12.00 - 1.00am CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.20 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.15 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.15 FILM McBride: Murder
Past Midnight (2005,
TVM) Mystery starring
John Larroquette (S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
From World War to Cold
War: three leaders in Yalta
FROM WORLD WAR
TO COLD WAR
Yesterday, 8.00pm
7.00 FIA World Rally
Championship
Highlights The Tour de
Corse (S)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm
Three sisters from East
Yorkshire reveal their
pioneering pig farming
techniques (S)
9.00 Housing Yorkshire:
Somewhere Called
Home Neighbourhood
Officer Clare investigates
anti-social behaviour on
a Sheffield estate (S)
As the Second World
War drew to a close,
Churchill, Stalin and
Roosevelt met at Yalta
in the Crimea to broker
post-war peace. This
brisk two-part
documentary raids the
archives for clips and
letters from those who
attended, and gathers
experts and relatives –
including FDR’s
grandson – to investigate
power plays by Stalin
that wrong-footed his
Allied counterparts. It’s a
detailed look at how and
why the compromises
reached at Yalta were
quickly cast aside.
BACCHUS UNCOVERED:
ANCIENT GOD OF
ECSTASY
BBC Four, 9.00pm
10.00 Restless Legs
Syndrome: Can’t Stop
Twitching (R) (S)
11.05 Murder on the Internet
(R) (S) 12.05am When
Kids Kill (S) 1.00
SuperCasino (S) 3.10
GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
My Mum’s Hotter Than
Me! (R) (S) (SL) 4.45
House Doctor (R) (S) (SL)
5.10 Divine Designs (R)
(S) (SL) 5.35 - 6.00am
Wildlife SOS (R) (S) (SL)
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Sin City Motors 9.00
Live at the Apollo 10.00 Room 101
12.00 - 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Battle Castle with Dan Snow 6.00
Wheeler Dealers 8.00 Tanked 9.00 Street
Outlaws: Memphis 10.00 Moonshiners
11.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail 12.00 1.00am Street Outlaws: Memphis
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Goldbergs 8.30
The Big Bang Theory 9.00 Timeless 10.00
Historian Bettany
Hughes continues to
explore ancient
civilisations, moving on
to Bacchus, the Roman
god of wine. Hughes’s
odyssey starts under the
City of London, where an
1,800-year-old Roman
temple to Bacchus was
discovered less than 100
years ago, and takes her
to Greece, the Middle
East and the Caucasus to
explore the god’s roots
and influence. VP
Naked Attraction 11.05 The Big Bang
Theory 12.05 - 1.10am First Dates
GOLD
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
11.20am You Rang, M’Lord? 12.20pm
The Green Green Grass 1.00 As Time Goes
By 1.40 Waiting for God 2.20 Only Fools
and Horses 3.00 Last of the Summer
Wine 5.00 The Green Green Grass 5.40
As Time Goes By 6.20 Dad’s Army 7.00
You Rang, M’Lord? 8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40
Only Fools and Horses 9.20 Citizen Khan
10.40 Absolutely Fabulous 11.20 Live at
the Apollo 12.20 - 1.00am Come Fly with
Me
H I S T O RY
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
noon The Curse of Oak Island 1.00pm
Pawn Stars 2.00 American Pickers 3.00
Counting Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00
Counting Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00
American Pickers 8.00 Counting Cars
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
43
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
Film4
Sky One
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
The Arctic archipelago of
Svalbard (R) (S)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights from day
seven of the Games (S)
9.00 Bacchus Uncovered:
Ancient God of Ecstasy
Professor Bettany
Hughes investigates the
story of Bacchus See
What to watch (AD) (S)
10.00 The Plantagenets (AD)
(R) (S)
11.00 The Mayflower Pilgrims:
Behind the Myth (AD)
(R) (S)
12.00 Chef vs Science: The
Ultimate Kitchen
Challenge (R) (S)
1.30 am Top of the Pops:
1983 (R) (S)
2.00 Top of the Pops: 1983
(R) (S)
2.30 - 3.30am Bacchus
Uncovered: Ancient
God of Ecstasy (AD) (R)
(S) (SL)
12.00 noon The Sixties (AD)
(S)
1.00 pm Discovering:
Richard Widmark (AD)
(S)
2.00 Watercolour Challenge
(S)
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Punk The
origins of punk (S)
5.00 The Sixties Martin
Luther King Jr and the
civil rights movement
(AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Terence
Stamp A profile of the
English actor (AD) (S)
7.00 Tarzan: The Man Behind
the Legend A look at the
evolution of the
character (S)
8.00 National Treasures: The
Art of Collecting With
Patrizia Sandretto Re
Rebaudengo
9.00 Discovering: Robert
Taylor
10.00 We Remember Marilyn
12.00 - 1.10am Hollywood:
Singing and Dancing
11.00 am The Borrowers
(1997) Fantasy starring
John Goodman (S)
12.40 pm Howl’s Moving
Castle (2004) Animated
fantasy with the voices
of Jean Simmons and
Christian Bale (S)
2.55 Dr Dolittle 2 (2001)
Comedy sequel starring
Eddie Murphy (S)
4.35 Short Circuit (1986) Scifi comedy adventure
starring Steve
Guttenberg (S)
6.35 Speed 2: Cruise Control
(1997) A couple on a
cruise liner in the
Bahamas have to stop
the vessel from colliding
with an oil tanker. Action
thriller sequel with
Sandra Bullock (S)
9.00 Transporter 2 (2005)
Thriller starring Jason
Statham USee Films of
the week, p32 (S)
10.40 Extraterrestrial (2014)
Sci-fi horror starring
Brittany Allen (S)
12.45 - 2.45am Stuck in Love
(2012) Romantic drama
with Lily Collins (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 DC’s Legends of
Tomorrow Sara and
Ray uncover a
disturbing secret when
Ava vanishes
9.00 A League of Their Own
With Lennox Lewis,
Christine Ohuruogu
and Sean Lock (AD) (R)
10.00 Rugby’s Funniest
Moments A chance to
revisit a selection of
the sport’s most
amusing moments (AD)
(R) (S)
11.00 The Force: North East
(R)
12.00 - 1.00am Air
Ambulance ER (R) (S)
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.20 am The Bachelor (R) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
1.15 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA The
Red and Blue teams
battle in a pasta-profit
challenge (S)
10.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA (S)
10.55 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.25 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.55 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.25 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.50 - 1.20am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse
(AD) (R) (S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.50 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.20 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.55 You’re Only Young
Twice (R) (S)
5.25 Rising Damp (R) (S)
5.55 Heartbeat Three farm
children are left
orphaned (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote
Jessica enrols at a
corrupt computer school
(AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Endeavour A scientist
developing an early
computer is murdered
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 The Street Drama set in
the north of England (R)
(S)
11.20 The Street (R) (S)
12.45 - 2.25am The
Suspicions of Mr
Whicher (AD) (R) (S)
11.35
12.45
1.50
2.55
3.55
5.00
6.05
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Pawn Stars The team
examines a 16th-century
cannon (R) (S)
Pawn Stars The team
comes across a rare
make of shotgun (R) (S)
River Monsters Jeremy
Wade tracks down
deadly parasites lurking
in the water (R) (S)
The Motorbike Show
Henry Cole and Sam
Lovegrove continue their
rebuild of a Harley WLC
(S)
The Americans Philip
deals with business at
the travel agency (AD)
Lethal Weapon (AD) (R)
(S)
- 1.00am The Big Fish
Off (R) (S)
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing
(R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
5.00 House (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation
Catherine gets
embroiled in a
kidnapping (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Frank tries
to stop a biological
weapon attack (AD) (R)
(S)
9.00 Westworld: The Story
So Far (R) (S)
10.00 High Maintenance
New series. The Guy
has a busier day than
usual as New Yorkers
react to worldchanging news
10.35 Silicon Valley (R)
11.10 Billions (R) (S)
12.20 - 1.25am The Sopranos
(R) (S)
9.00 The Curse of Oak Island 10.00 King:
The Dream Lives On 11.00 Monsterquest
12.00 - 1.00am Forged in Fire
Crash Investigation 8.00 Airport Security:
Peru 9.00 Airport Security: Colombia
10.00 Border Wars 11.00 Air Crash
Investigation 12.00 - 1.00am Strippers:
Cars for Cash
Ahead 8.00 From World War to Cold
War See What to watch 9.00 Porridge
11.00 The Two Ronnies 12.35 - 1.35am
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Final
Solution
W
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
Goals 14/15 3.00 Premier League
Years 5.00 Premier League Review
6.00 Premier League 100 Club 7.00
Premier League World 7.30 Gillette
Soccer Special 10.00 The Debate 11.00
Premier League World 11.30 Best PL
Goals: Merseyside Derby 12.00 1.00am PL Best Goals 93/94
ITV2
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Summer Sun 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s Love
It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of the
Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 Vet on the
Hill 10.00 24 Hours in A&E 11.10 8 Out
of 10 Cats Does Countdown 12.10am
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10
24 Hours in A&E 2.15 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown 3.15 - 3.55am 8 Out of
10 Cats
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm
Airport Security: Colombia 3.00 Air Crash
Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00 Air
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 Embarrassing Bodies
10.00 One Born Every Minute 11.00
Gavin & Stacey 12.20 - 1.20am Inside
the Ambulance
Y E S T E R D AY
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Time Team 1.00pm Wild Caribbean
2.00 Madagascar 3.00 Coast 4.00
Private Lives of the Monarchs 5.00 The
World’s Weirdest Weapons 6.00
Churchill’s Bodyguard 7.00 Full Steam
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
6.30
7.00
7.30
8.00
9.00
10.00
11.00
12.00
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
noon Sky Sports News 3.00pm Live
Indian Premier League. Rajasthan Royals
v Delhi Daredevils. Coverage of the match
at the Sawai Mansingh Stadium in Jaipur
7.30 Live EFL. Wolverhampton
Wanderers v Derby County (Kick-off
7.45pm). Coverage of the Championship
match from Molineux 10.00 The Debate
11.00 - 6.00am Sky Sports News
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Premier League Review 1.00pm
Premier League 100 Club 2.00 PL Best
SKY 108
BT SPORT 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
noon ESPN Classic Boxing 1.30pm
WRC Review 2.30 Irish Rally Review
3.00 MotoGP Rewind 3.15 Premier
League Reload 3.30 Ladbrokes SPFL
Highlights. All the goals and talking
points from this weekend’s games
north of the border, including Hamilton
v Celtic, Rangers v Dundee and Hearts v
Aberdeen 4.00 Live WTA Tennis. Action
from the Claro Open Colsanitas in
Bogota, Colombia 12.00 BT Sport
Reload 12.30am Premier League
Reload 12.45 - 1.00am BT Sport Goals
Reload
44
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION THURSDAY 12 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Changing attitudes: Holly and Hollie
LIVING WITH THE BRAINY BUNCH
BBC Two, 8.00pm
Enterprising,
PR-conscious Ash Ali
is headmaster of
Chessington Community
College, a fast-improving
school with a few
problem pupils. Among
them are Jack and Hollie
who, on the surface, are
comically awful
teenagers. Hollie gripes
constantly, throws strops
and storms out of
classrooms if things aren’t
going her way. Jack is
sullen, lazy and has
clocked up 15 suspensions
in the past year. It will
come as no surprise to
regular viewers of such
documentaries that
their behaviour is rooted
in low self-esteem,
although their parents
unquestionably indulge
their foibles.
Ali’s novel solution is
to place Hollie with Holly,
tapdancing head girl and
gregarious boffin, and
Jack with Tharush, a Sri
Lankan immigrant by
way of Italy, whose
talents are only matched
by his work ethic. Now
that Jack and Hollie are in
the bosom of new families
for six weeks, it’s hoped
that a new environment,
greater discipline and
rigid routines will see
their results improve and
attitudes pick up.
There are setbacks
on the largely familiar
narrative trajectory, but
it’s cast to perfection and,
as a demonstration of the
importance of parenting
in academic achievement,
the experiment gets an
A-star. Gabriel Tate
CIVILISATIONS
BBC Two, 9.00pm
The modern age draws
closer, as Simon Schama
tackles the theme of
radiance, guiding us
through Gothic
cathedrals, Baroque
Venetian masterpieces
and dazzling Japanese
woodblock prints.
THE INVESTIGATOR: A
BRITISH CRIME STORY
ITV, 9.00pm
The second real-life case
of the series sees Mark
Williams-Thomas
investigating the 1977
murders of three women
in Glasgow. The suspect
is Angus Sinclair, who is
currently serving a life
sentence for killing two
other women that same
year. We hear from his
ex-wife, and learn how he
was a prime suspect but
escaped charges for the
first killings when key
evidence went missing.
INDIAN SUMMER
SCHOOL
Channel 4, 9.00pm
This diverting
Civilisations: historian Simon
Schama in Morocco
documentary series
concludes with a
Himalayan trek, a
controversial article in
the school newspaper
and the GCSE retakes
that were the goal of the
entire enterprise. Will
Alfie, Harry, Jack and co
see their grades improve?
STILL GAME
BBC One, 9.30pm;
BBC Two Wales, 10.00pm
Justifying its prime-time
BBC One slot, the Scottish
sitcom bows out in
triumph with a typically
well-wrought farce
involving a Hollywood
stuntman, a disastrous
driving lesson and
romance for the widowed
Isa (Jane McCarry). GT
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding and
Gabby Logan introduce
further live coverage on
day eight in Queensland,
featuring athletics, beach
volleyball and hockey (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Doctors (AD) (S)
2.15 800 Words (AD) (S)
3.00 Escape to the Country
(AD) (R) (S)
3.45 Money for Nothing (R)
(S)
4.30 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
6.55 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
introduces live coverage
as day eight of the
Games continues in
Queensland (S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths
(AD) (R) (S)
11.45 Dom on the Spot (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 Jason Mohammad
introduces the
concluding programme
of live coverage on day
eight in Queensland (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (R) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 Today at the Games (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(S)
10.30 This Morning (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 ITV Racing: Grand
National Festival Ed
Chamberlin and
Francesca Cumani
present live coverage
from Aintree of five races
on the opening day of
the prestigious meeting,
at 2.20, 2.50, 3.25, 4.05
and 4.40 (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.25 Party Election
Broadcast (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau:
DIY (AD) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show Topical
stories from around the
UK (S)
7.30 EastEnders Kat tells
Hayley to get out of
Walford for good (AD) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Chas is at
breaking point (AD) (S)
7.30 OAP Bootcamp: Tonight
Ideas to improve the
over-65s’ health (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 Masterchef: The Finals
The hopefuls work
alongside chefs Ashley
Palmer-Watts and Jonny
Glass (AD) (S)
8.00 Living with the Brainy
Bunch Two struggling
15-year-old students
move in with high
achievers See What to
watch (AD) (S)
8.00 Emmerdale (AD) (S)
8.30 The Cruise: Sailing the
Caribbean Marcella
makes the final
preparations for a
wedding ceremony (AD)
(S)
8.00 Location, Location,
Location Kirstie Allsopp
catches up with two
couples who wanted
homes near the coast (S)
9.00 Not Going Out (S)
9.30 Still Game Isa is excited
when an old flame
returns to Craiglang. Last
in the series See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Civilisations Simon
Schama looks at the links
between colour and
spirituality See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.00 The Investigator: A
British Crime Story Mark
Williams-Thomas’s trail
brings him to a new
prime suspect See What
to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Indian Summer School
Ethan writes a
controversial article for
the school newspaper.
Last in the series See
What to watch (AD) (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.45 Question Time (S)
11.45 Commonwealth Games
2018 Live athletics,
diving and lawn bowls
coverage on day nine (S)
3.30 - 6.00am
Commonwealth Games
2018 Continued live
coverage of day nine
from Queensland (S)
Variations
N IRELAND
BBC One: 10.40pm The View 11.15
Question Time 12.15 - 3.30am
Commonwealth Games 2018
BBC Two: No variations
UTV: 1.25am Teleshopping 2.55 3.00am ITV Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 2.00 - 5.00pm Racing on STV:
Grand National Festival 10.30 Scotland
Tonight 11.05 Uefa Europa League
Highlights 12.05am Lethal Weapon 1.00
- 2.00 Teleshopping 4.05 The Jeremy
Kyle Show 5.00 - 6.00am Teleshopping
10.00 MOTD: The Premier
League Show Magazine
programme featuring
news and highlights (S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
11.15 Secret Agent Selection:
WW2 (AD) (R) (S)
12.15am Sign Zone (AD)
(R) (S) (SL) 3.20 6.00am News (S)
WA L E S
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 Uefa Europa League
Highlights Action from
the quarter-final secondleg matches (S)
11.45 Play to the Whistle (R) (S)
12.40am Lethal Weapon
(AD) (R) (S) 1.25
Jackpot247 3.00 OAP
Bootcamp: Tonight (R)
3.25 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 - 6.00am The
Jeremy Kyle Show (R) (S)
(SL)
ITV Channel: 1.25 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
BBC One: 9.30 - 10.00pm Rhod Gilbert’s
Work Experience
BBC Two: 10.00 - 10.30pm Still Game
11.15 MOTD: The Premier League Show
11.45 - 12.15am Sign Zone: See Hear
ITV Wales: No variations
More digital,
satellite
& cable
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Straeon y Ffin 12.30 Ffit Cymru 1.30
Sion a Siân 2.00 Newyddion 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion 3.05 O
Gymru Fach 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh
6.00 Newyddion 6.05 Ar Werth 6.30
Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y
Cwm 8.00 Gwaith/Cartref 9.00
Newyddion 9.30 Cwymp yr
Ymerodraethau 10.30 Hansh 11.00 11.35pm Mwy o Sgorio
No variations, except:
11.05 First Dates (AD) (R) (S)
12.05am 999: On the
Frontline (R) (S) 1.00
Class of Mum and Dad
(AD) (R) (S) 1.55 The
Supervet (AD) (R) (S)
2.50 George Clarke’s Old
House, New Home (AD)
(R) (S) 3.45 Building the
Dream (AD) (R) (S) 4.40
The Question Jury (R) (S)
5.35 - 6.00am Steph and
Dom’s One Star to Five
Star (R) (S)
SKY LIVING
S4C
ITV REGIONS
10.00 24 Hours in Police
Custody (R) (S)
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 To Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport
3.00 Nothing to Declare 5.00 Border
Security: Canada’s Front Line 6.00 Air
Rescue 7.00 The Real A&E 8.00
Elementary 9.00 Madam Secretary 10.00
Scandal 11.00 Criminal Minds 12.00 1.00am CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.10 Access (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.20 NCIS (AD) (R) (S)
3.15 FILM The Killing Game
(2011, TVM) Mystery
starring Laura Prepon (S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
WHAT TO
WATCH
Urban Myths: Alex Pettyfer
and Adam Brody
WAR ABOVE THE
TRENCHES
Yesterday, 8.00pm
7.00 Steve Backshall’s
Hedgehog Rescue Steve
Backshall visits a
hedgehog rescue centre
(R) (S)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm
A report from the lamb
hospital at Barnsley’s
Cannon Hall Farm (S)
This decent two-parter
tells the story of the
Royal Flying Corps and
their battle to win
control of the air in the
First World War. Based
on Peter Hart’s book
Bloody April, it draws
affectingly on the
testimony of veterans to
show there was more to
the Western Front than
trench warfare.
URBAN MYTHS:
MARILYN MONROE
AND BILLY WILDER
Sky Arts, 9.00pm
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! A pub licensee
tries to cut a deal with
her new landlord over a
debt (S)
10.00 Undercover: Nailing the
Fraudsters (S)
11.05 The Murderer Next Door:
Countdown to Murder
(R) (S) 12.00
SuperCasino 3.10am
GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (R) (S) 4.00 My
Mum’s Hotter Than Me!
(R) (S) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (R) (S) (SL) 5.10
Divine Designs (R) (S)
(SL) 5.35 - 6.00am
Wildlife SOS (R) (S) (SL)
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit
9.00 QI XL 10.00 Not Going Out 11.20
Mock the Week 12.00 - 1.20am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Battle Castle with Dan Snow 6.00
Wheeler Dealers 8.00 Classic Car Rescue
9.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A Murder
Declassified 10.00 Street Justice: The
Bronx 11.00 Mysteries of the Missing
12.00 - 1.00am Tesla’s Death Ray: A
Murder Declassified
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Sky Arts’ boldly cast
series of vaguely
apocryphal tales from
the pop-culture
frontlines returns with a
dispatch from the set of
Some Like It Hot, the
magnificent 1959
comedy that is almost
certainly more fun to
watch than it was to
make. In this minor but
entertaining
reimagining, Tony Curtis
(Alex Pettyfer) is
threatening to cuckold
Arthur Miller (Dougray
Scott) by making off with
Marilyn Monroe (Gemma
Arterton), whose caprice,
drinking and sensitivity
is driving director Billy
Wilder (James Purefoy)
to distraction. GT
Cake Makers. Baker Michelle tackles three
illuminated jellyfish cakes 8.00 The Big
Bang Theory. Leonard runs against
Sheldon to be president of the tenants’
association 8.30 Young Sheldon. The
Cooper men plan a road trip to Cape
Canaveral 9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
9.30 Derry Girls 10.00 The Inbetweeners
10.30 The Windsors 11.05 The Big
Bang Theory 12.05 - 1.10am
First Dates
GOLD
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
11.20am You Rang, M’Lord? 12.20pm
The Green Green Grass 1.00 As Time Goes
By 1.40 Waiting for God 2.20 Only Fools
and Horses 3.00 Last of the Summer
Wine 5.00 The Green Green Grass 5.40
As Time Goes By 6.20 Dad’s Army 7.00
You Rang, M’Lord? 8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40
Only Fools and Horses 9.20 Harry Enfield
and Chums 10.40 Two Doors Down
11.20 Jack Dee Live at the Apollo 12.25 1.00am Come Fly with Me
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm Beyond 100 Days
News and analysis from
Washington DC and
London (S)
7.30 The Sky at Night The
latest results from
NASA’s Curiosity and
ESA’s ExoMars TGO
missions (S)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended
highlights from day eight
of the Games (S)
9.00 Putin, Russia & the
West The inside story of
the 2004 elections in
Ukraine (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Law and Order Drama
telling the story of an
investigation from four
different perspectives (R)
(S)
11.20 Totally British: 70s Rock
’n’ Roll Archive
performances by artists
including Dr Feelgood (R)
12.20 am Danny Baker’s Great
Album Showdown (R)
(S)
1.20 Putin, Russia & the
West (AD) (R) (S)
2.20 - 3.20am The Brontes at
the BBC (R) (S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
45
Film4
Sky One
12.00 noon The Sixties (AD)
1.00 pm Discovering:
Terence Stamp (AD) (S)
2.00 Watercolour Challenge
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Nuclear
Protest (S)
5.00 The Sixties (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Max von
Sydow (AD) (S)
7.00 The Nineties
8.00 Discovering: Marilyn
Monroe (AD) (S)
9.00 Urban Myths: Marilyn
Monroe and Billy Wilder
New series. Comedy
starring Gemma Arterton
and James Purefoy See
What to watch
9.30 FILM Some Like It Hot
(1959, b/w) Comedy with
Jack Lemmon, Tony
Curtis and Marilyn
Monroe USee Films of
the week, p32
11.45 Urban Myths: Marilyn
Monroe and Billy Wilder
12.15 - 1.15am Billy Wilder:
Nobody’s Perfect (AD)
(S)
11.00 am The Rugrats in Paris:
The Movie (2000)
Animated adventure
with the voice of
Christine Cavanaugh (S)
12.35 pm Spirited Away
(2001) Animated fantasy
with the voice of Daveigh
Chase (S)
3.00 Ice Age: Continental
Drift (2012) Animated
comedy sequel with the
voice of Ray Romano (S)
4.45 Short Circuit 2 (1988)
Sci-fi comedy sequel
with Fisher Stevens (AD)
(S)
6.55 X-Men (2000)
Adventure starring Hugh
Jackman (AD) (S)
9.00 A Bigger Splash (2015)
Freeview Premiere. A
rock star recovering from
surgery finds her
peaceful Mediterranean
retreat disrupted by the
arrival of a former lover.
Drama starring Tilda
Swinton (AD) (S)
11.30 - 1.20am As Above, So
Below (2014) Horror
starring Perdita Weeks
(S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons
(R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons Selma
flies to China to adopt
a baby (R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
8.00 Arrow Nyssa al Ghul
warns Thea she is the
next target of renegade
League of Assassin
members
9.00 SEAL Team The
bodyguard of the
team’s target
recognises Jason
10.00 In the Long Run
10.30 Football’s Funniest
Moments (R) (S)
11.00 The Force: North East
(R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am Air
Ambulance ER (R) (S)
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.20 am The Bachelor (R) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.15 Coronation Street (AD)
(R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
9.30 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Celebrity Juice (S)
10.50 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.15 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.40 American Dad! (AD) (R)
(S)
12.10 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.35 - 1.10am Plebs (AD) (R)
(S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse
(AD) (R) (S)
12.30 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.45 On the Buses Stan
spends the
housekeeping money (R)
(S)
4.20 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.50 You’re Only Young
Twice (R) (S)
5.25 Rising Damp (R) (S)
5.55 Heartbeat Steve
oversees an outdoor
adventure course (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote
Jessica investigates a
20-year-old mystery
(AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Vera The detective
investigates a petrolbomb attack (AD) (R) (S)
10.00 My Boy Jack First World
War tragedy, starring
Daniel Radcliffe (AD) (R)
12.05 - 2.00am A Touch of
Frost (R) (S)
11.45
12.50
1.55
2.55
4.00
5.05
6.10
6.35
7.05
7.30
8.00
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
5.00 House (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A
photographer is
murdered (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Frank
Reagan deals with the
fallout of an accidental
shooting (AD) (R) (S)
9.00 Billions Chuck faces a
dilemma when he is
given a perverse
directive
10.10 Silicon Valley Richard
tries to micromanage
the new team
members’ internal
quarrels
10.45 Our Cartoon President
11.20 Our Cartoon President
11.55 Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver (R)
12.30 - 1.05am Divorce (R)
H I S T O RY
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
Y E S T E R D AY
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
ITV2
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
noon Forged in Fire 1.00pm Pawn Stars
2.00 American Pickers 3.00 Counting
Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00 Counting
Cars 6.00 Forged in Fire 7.00 American
Pickers 8.00 Forged in Fire 10.00
Ultimate Vehicles 11.00 Monsterquest
12.00 - 1.00am Hitler’s Circle of Evil
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
11.35am Four in a Bed 2.10pm Come
Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Summer Sun 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s Love
It or List It 6.55 The Secret Life of the
Zoo 7.55 Grand Designs 9.00 The Good
Fight 10.15 The Undateables. A trainee
accountant with a stammer faces his fear
of talking to women 11.15 24 Hours in
A&E 12.20am Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA 1.20 The Good Fight
2.30 24 Hours in A&E 3.30 - 3.55am
Food Unwrapped
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm
Airport Security: Colombia 3.00 Air Crash
Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00 Air
Crash Investigation 8.00 Car SOS 9.00
Wicked Tuna 10.00 Science of Stupid
11.00 Air Crash Investigation 12.00 1.00am Strippers: Cars for Cash
W
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 Thailand’s Drug Craze:
Stacey Dooley Investigates. The rise in
the use of the methamphetamine known
as yaba 10.00 One Born Every Minute. A
woman coping with a family bereavement
goes into labour 11.00 Gavin & Stacey
12.20 - 1.20am Inside the Ambulance
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
The Big Fish Off With
former athletics stars
Linford Christie and
Katharine Merry (S)
9.00 FILM The Man with the
Golden Gun (1974)
James Bond investigates
the death of a worldrenowned scientist and
is drawn into a battle of
wits with a wily assassin.
Spy adventure, starring
Roger Moore and
Christopher Lee USee
Films of the week, p32
(AD) (S)
11.30 - 1.30am FILM Universal
Soldier: Regeneration
(2009) Sci-fi thriller
sequel with Jean-Claude
Van Damme and Dolph
Lundgren (AD) (S)
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
noon Time Team 1.00pm Wild Caribbean
2.00 Life in Cold Blood 3.00 Coast 4.00
Private Lives of the Monarchs 5.00 The
World’s Weirdest Weapons 6.00
Churchill’s Bodyguard 7.00 Hunting Down
the Nazis 8.00 War Above the Trenches
See What to watch 9.00 The Two
Ronnies 10.40 Whatever Happened to
the Likely Lads? 12.40 - 1.40am
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Final
Solution
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
11.00am Live European Tour Golf
1.00pm Live PGA Tour Golf. The RBC
Heritage. Coverage of the opening day at
Harbour Town Golf Links in Hilton Head,
South Carolina 3.00 Live Indian Premier
League 7.30 Live EFL 10.00 The Debate
11.00 - 2.00am Sky Sports News
SKY 108
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Premier League World 12.30pm
PL Greatest Games 1.00 Premier
League 100 Club 2.00 PL Best Goals
15/16 3.00 Premier League Years 5.00
Premier League World 5.30 Premier
League 100 Club 6.00 Premier League
Today 6.30 Premier League 100 Club
7.00 Premier League World 7.30
Premier League Match Pack 8.00
Premier League Today 8.30 Premier
League World 9.00 PL Best Goals
15/16 10.00 The Debate 11.00
Premier League Match Pack 11.30 Best
PL Goals: Chelsea v Man Utd 12.00 1.00am PL Best Goals 94/95
BT SPORT 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
noon ESPN Classic Boxing 4.00pm Live
WTA Tennis 12.00 WTA All Access
12.30 - 1.00am Ligue 1 Show
46
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
TELEVISION FRIDAY 13 APRIL
WHAT TO
WATCH
BBC One
Dishing out opinions: John Torode and Gregg Wallace
MASTERCHEF: THE FINAL
BBC One, 8.30pm
It has taken 25 episodes
over seven weeks to
whittle down the 56
amateur contestants to
three finalists, and in the
process, MasterChef 2018
has produced some of
the best cooking – and
some of the toughest
competition – in the
series’ long history. (It
has been running in one
form or another since
1990; and since 2005 in,
roughly, its current
format with judges
Gregg Wallace and John
Torode presenting.)
This last week has been
no exception, with the
finalists having to dig
deeper than ever to
produce the best dishes
of their lives and some
great moments – notably
during the spectacular
trip to South America
when they met Peruvian
superchef Gaston
Acurio and took on a
service at the fifth best
restaurant in the world,
the Central in Lima,
under Michelin-starred
maestro Virgilio
Martínez Véliz.
In the finale, it’s all
about who cooks the best
food, though, as the final
three return to the studio
kitchen to undergo a test
of culinary skills and
nerve as they set about
creating the most
important three-course
meal of their lives – in the
hope of being judged
worthy of a title that
has launched many
a great career:
MasterChef champion.
Gerard O’Donovan
THE CITY & THE CITY
BBC Two, 9.00pm;
Wales, 9.30pm
Cop thrillers don’t come
much more weirdly
dystopian than China
Miéville’s award-winning
2009 novel and this
ultra-stylish adaptation
serves its source material
very well. In episode two,
Inspector Borlú (David
Morrissey) ventures back
across the border while
investigating the murder
of a foreign student.
EPISODES
BBC Two, 10.00pm;
Wales, 11.05pm
Having overcome last
week’s unfortunate
episode in this sitcom,
Matt (Matt LeBlanc) is
back on top and leveraging
his spurt in the ratings
for all it’s worth, handing
Sean (Stephen Mangan)
and Beverly (Tamsin
Greig) a welcome
opportunity for escape.
LEE AND DEAN
Channel 4, 10.00pm
More rough charm, as life
gets complicated for
The City & the City:
David Morrissey as Borlú
Stevenage’s very own
Dumb and Dumber when
Lee’s (Miles Chapman)
financial worries mount
and Dean (Mark
O’Sullivan) is persuaded
to premiere his poetry at
the local arts club.
FRONT ROW LATE
BBC Two, 11.05pm;
Wales, 11.35pm
Freedom of speech and
censorship are under
the spotlight as host
Mary Beard and guests
discuss Theatre Clwyd’s
production The
Assassination of Katie
Hopkins and former
US Secretary of State
Madeleine Albright’s
new book Fascism:
A Warning. GO
6.00 am Breakfast (S)
9.15 Commonwealth Games
2018 Clare Balding and
Gabby Logan introduce
further live coverage on
day nine in Queensland,
featuring athletics,
diving, hockey and rugby
sevens (S)
1.00 pm BBC News at One;
Weather (S)
1.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
1.45 Doctors (AD) (S)
2.15 800 Words (AD) (S)
3.00 Escape to the Country
(AD) (S)
3.45 Money for Nothing (R)
(S)
4.30 Flog It! (R) (S)
5.15 Pointless (S)
6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather (S)
6.30 Regional News;
Weather (S)
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
6.00 am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Hazel Irvine
presents continued live
coverage on day nine of
the Games in
Queensland, featuring
the start of the rugby
sevens competition and
more lawn bowls action
(S)
9.15 Oxford Street Revealed
(AD) (R) (S)
10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (R) (S)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths
(AD) (R) (S)
11.45 Dom on the Spot (S)
12.15 pm Bargain Hunt (AD)
(R) (S)
1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018 (S)
5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is (AD) (S)
6.00 Eggheads (S)
6.30 Today at the Games (S)
6.00 am Good Morning
Britain (S)
8.30 Lorraine (S)
9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
10.30 This Morning (S)
12.30 pm Loose Women (S)
1.30 ITV Lunchtime News (S)
1.55 Regional News (S)
2.00 ITV Racing: Grand
National Festival Ed
Chamberlin and
Francesca Cumani
present live coverage
from Aintree of five races
on the second day of the
prestigious meeting, at
2.20, 2.50, 3.25, 4.05 and
4.40 (S)
5.00 The Chase (S)
6.00 Regional News
Programme (S)
6.30 ITV Evening News (S)
6.00 am Countdown (R) (S)
6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun
(AD) (R) (S)
7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (R) (S)
8.30 Frasier (R) (S)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell
(AD) (R) (S)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(R) (S)
12.00 News (S)
12.05 pm Come Dine with Me
(R) (S)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers (R)
(S)
2.10 Countdown (S)
3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun (R) (S)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau:
DIY (AD) (S)
5.00 Four in a Bed (R) (S)
5.30 Star Boot Sale (S)
6.00 The Simpsons (AD) (R)
(S)
6.30 Hollyoaks (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 Emmerdale Aaron and
Liv prepare for her day in
court, (AD) (S)
7.30 Coronation Street Eva
reaches a big decision
about the baby (AD) (S)
7.00 News Including sport
and weather (S)
8.00 Gardeners’ World Monty
Don beefs up his borders
by dividing perennials (S)
8.00 Love Your Garden (AD)
(S)
8.30 Coronation Street
Simon is accused of
stealing Toyah’s cash
(AD) (S)
8.00 I Don’t Like Mondays
Alan Carr hosts the
comedy game show with
guest Jonathan Ross (S)
9.00 The City & the City Borlu
suspects a nationalist
group of involvement in
Mahalia’s death See
What to watch (AD) (S)
9.00 Lethal Weapon A secret
about Riggs’ deceased
wife is revealed when he
visits his father-in-law in
prison (AD) (S)
9.00 Gogglebox The
households’ opinions on
recent television (AD) (S)
10.00 ITV News at Ten (S)
10.30 Regional News (S)
10.45 FILM Invictus (2009)
Fact-based drama
starring Morgan Freeman
USee Films of the
week, p32 (AD) (S)
10.00 Lee and Dean The
builders carry out their
first ever job for a gay
couple See What to
watch (AD) (S)
10.35 8 Out of 10 Cats (R) (S)
11.20 Rob Beckett’s Playing for
Time (AD) (S) 11.50 Rude
Tube (R) (S) 12.50am
FILM Oldboy (2013)
Thriller with Josh Brolin
(S) 2.35 Kiss Me First
(AD) (R) (S) (SL) 3.30
Building the Dream (AD)
(R) (S) 4.25 The Question
Jury (R) (S) 5.45 - 6.15am
Steph and Dom’s One
Star to Five Star (R) (S)
7.00 The One Show (S)
7.30 Sounds Like Friday
Night Featuring Lily
Allen, Sam Smith, James
Bay, 5 Seconds of
Summer and Little Mix
(S)
8.00 EastEnders Woody has
his eyes on a new
venture (AD) (S)
8.30 MasterChef: The Final
The last three cooks vie
to become the show’s
14th champion. Last in
the series See What to
watch (AD) (S)
9.30 Have I Got News for You
Hosted by Victoria Coren
Mitchell (S)
10.00 BBC News at Ten (S)
10.25 Regional News;
Weather (S)
10.35 The Graham Norton
Show (S)
11.25 Wannabe New series.
Comedy written by and
starring Lily Brazier (S)
11.50 Commonwealth
Games 2018 Live
athletics, hockey, road
cycling and rugby sevens
on day 10 (S) 3.30 6.00am Commonwealth
Games 2018 Further live
coverage of athletics,
hockey and road cycling
on day 10 (S)
10.00 Episodes Matt tries to
secure confirmation of a
new series See What to
watch (AD) (S)
10.30 Newsnight (S)
Variations
BBC Two: 7.30pm Scrum V Live 9.30 10.30 The City & the City 11.05 Episodes
11.35 Front Row Late 12.10 - 12.30am
Coast
ITV Wales: 8.00 - 8.30pm Velindre:
Hospital of Hope
N IRELAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
UTV: 8.00 - 8.30pm UTV Life 1.15am
Teleshopping 2.45 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
SCOTLAND
BBC One: No variations
BBC Two: No variations
STV: 2.00 - 5.00pm Racing on STV:
Grand National Festival 8.00 - 8.30 Peter
& Roughie’s Friday Football Show 1.15 2.15am Teleshopping 3.15 Tenable 4.05
The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.00 - 6.00am
Teleshopping
WA L E S
BBC One: No variations
11.05 Front Row Late See
What to watch (S) 11.35
The Assassination of
Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story
(AD) (R) (S) 12.30am Sign
Zone (R) (S) (SL) 3.50 6.00am News (S)
1.15 am Jackpot247 3.00
Take on the Twisters (R)
(S) 3.50 - 6.00am ITV
Nightscreen
More digital,
satellite
& cable
S4C
SKY LIVING
6.00am Cyw 12.00 Newyddion 12.05pm
Genod y Carnifal 12.30 Band Cymru
2018 1.30 Llys Nini 2.00 Newyddion
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 Newyddion 3.05
Pengelli 3.30 Dei a Tom 4.00 Awr Fawr
5.00 Stwnsh 6.00 Newyddion 6.05
Celwydd Noeth 6.30 Garddio a Mwy 7.00
Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm 8.25 Codi Hwyl
9.00 Newyddion 9.30 Galw Nain Nain
Nain 10.05 Bocsio 10.35 - 11.40pm
Parch
SKY 107 VIRGIN 112
noon The Real A&E 1.00pm Air Rescue
2.00 To Catch a Smuggler: JFK Airport
3.00 Nothing to Declare 5.00 Border
Security: Canada’s Front Line 6.00 Air
Rescue 7.00 The Real A&E 8.00 America’s
Next Top Model 9.00 Nashville 10.00 1.00am The Enfield Haunting
D AV E
FV 12 FS 157 SKY 111 VIRGIN 127
ITV REGIONS
No variations, except:
ITV Channel: 1.15 - 3.00am ITV
Nightscreen
FV Freeview FS Freesat
(AD) Audio description (R) Repeat
(S) Subtitles (SL) In-vision signing
noon American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear
3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear
7.00 QI XL 8.00 Into the Fire 9.00
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
Channel 5
6.00 am Milkshake!
9.15 The Wright Stuff
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (R) (S)
12.10 pm News (S)
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S)
1.15 Home and Away (AD) (S)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) (S)
2.20 NCIS Special: Game of
Shadows (AD) (R) (S)
3.20 FILM Patient Killer
(2015, TVM)
Psychological thriller
starring Victoria Pratt (S)
5.00 News (S)
5.30 Neighbours (AD) (R) (S)
6.00 Home and Away (AD)
(R) (S)
6.30 News (S)
7.00 The Gadget Show A
family find out how easy
their gadgets are to hack
(S)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm
Updates from all of the
stories covered earlier in
the week. Last in the
series (S)
9.00 Jane McDonald: My Life
Story Profile of the
singer (S)
10.00 Will & Grace Jack suffers
a crisis of faith after he
breaks up with Drew (S)
10.30 Will & Grace The best
friends discover a
connection between
their parents (S)
11.05 Greatest Ever Celebrity
Wind Ups (R) (S) 12.00
SuperCasino (S) 3.10am
GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (AD) (R) (S) 4.00
The Great Yorkshire
Bridge (R) (S) 4.45 House
Doctor (R) (S) (SL) 5.10
Divine Designs (R) (S)
(SL) 5.35 - 6.00am
Wildlife SOS (R) (S) (SL)
Fawlty Towers 11.00 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 12.00 - 1.15am QI
D I S C OV E RY
SKY 520 VIRGIN 250
noon Fast N’ Loud 1.00pm Railroad
Alaska 2.00 Alaska: The Last Frontier
3.00 Yukon Men 4.00 Gold Rush 5.00
Battle Castle with Dan Snow 6.00
Wheeler Dealers 8.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s
Trail 9.00 Cars That Rock with Brian
Johnson 10.00 The Route Masters:
Running London’s Roads 11.00 Wheeler
Dealers 12.00 - 1.00am Cars That Rock
with Brian Johnson
E4
FV 28 FS 122 SKY 136 VIRGIN 106
noon The Goldbergs 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory 2.00 How I Met Your Mother
3.00 New Girl 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.00 The Goldbergs 6.00 The Big Bang
Theory 7.00 Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.00 The Big Bang Theory
WHAT TO
WATCH
Lost in Space: Toby
Stephens as John Robinson
CHEF’S TABLE: PASTRY
Netflix, from today
This mouth-watering
spin-off from Netflix’s
popular global foodie
series Chef ’s Table
puts the focus entirely
on sweet stuff, talking
the cameras inside
the kitchens of some
of the world’s best
pastry chefs, among
them Christina Tosi’s
Milk Bar in New York,
Corrado Assenza’s
Caffé Sicilia in Noto,
Sicily, Jordi Roca’s
El Celler de Can Roca
in Girona, and
Will Goldfarb’s
Room4Dessert in Bali.
LOST IN SPACE
Netflix, from today
Not so much a rerun
as a spectacular new
take on the classic Sixties
sci-fi series about a
family marooned in
space when their ship
runs into difficulty on
their way to a new
colony and crashes on an
unknown and
surprisingly hostile
planet. There are plenty
of thrills and impressive
visual effects, and Toby
Stephens and Molly
Parker are excellent as
the pioneering Robinson
parents John and Judy,
while Parker Posey is an
enigmatic (and now
female) Dr Smith. GO
9.00 FILM GI Joe: Retaliation (2013) An
elite military team is nearly wiped out
after a terrorist organisation replaces the
US president with an imposter and has
them declared enemies of the state. The
handful of survivors seek the help of their
original leader in avenging their fallen
comrades. Action adventure sequel,
starring Dwayne Johnson, Ray Park and
Bruce Willis 11.10 The Big Bang Theory
12.05 - 1.10am First Dates
GOLD
SKY 110 VIRGIN 124
11.20am You Rang, M’Lord? 12.20pm
The Green Green Grass 1.00 As Time Goes
By 1.40 Dad’s Army 2.20 Only Fools and
Horses 3.00 Last of the Summer Wine
5.00 The Green Green Grass 5.20 As Time
Goes By 6.20 Dad’s Army 7.00 You Rang,
M’Lord? 8.00 Dad’s Army 8.40 Only Fools
and Horses 9.20 The Vicar of Dibley
10.40 Mrs Brown’s Boys 11.20 Bridget &
Eamon 11.55 Smack the Pony 12.30 1.40am Nathan Barley
***
BBC Four
Sky Arts
7.00 pm World News Today
(S)
7.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 Percussionist Joby
Burgess joins Josie d’Arby
as the competition
continues with the multiinstrumentalists in the
percussion category final
(S)
9.00 Nat King Cole: Afraid of
the Dark A look into the
private journals of the
music legend, who
overcame a period of
racial segregation and
prejudice in America to
become one of the
greatest jazz icons of all
time (R) (S)
10.30 Joy of the Guitar Riff
The impact of the guitar
riff on popular music
over the past 60 years
(R) (S)
11.30 Rollermania: Britain’s
Biggest Boy Band (R) (S)
12.30 am Cilla at the BBC (AD)
(R) (S)
1.30 Totally British: 70s Rock
’n’ Roll (R) (S)
2.30 - 4.00am Nat King Cole:
Afraid of the Dark (R) (S)
FV 9 FS 107 SKY 116 VIRGIN 107
47
Film4
Sky One
12.00 noon The Sixties (AD)
(S)
1.00 pm Discovering: Max
von Sydow (AD) (S)
2.00 Watercolour Challenge
2.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2017 (S)
3.30 Tales of the Unexpected
(AD) (S)
4.00 Trailblazers: Acid House
Key moments in the
development of acid
house (S)
5.00 The Sixties (AD) (S)
6.00 Discovering: Julie
Andrews (AD) (S)
7.00 Johnny Cash: Song by
Song (AD) (S)
7.30 Dolly Parton: Song by
Song (AD) (S)
8.00 Video Killed the Radio
Star The making of
Metallica’s most famous
videos (S)
8.30 Discovering: Foo
Fighters (AD) (S)
9.00 The Nineties
10.00 Foo Fighters: Austin
City Limits
11.15 Brian Johnson’s A Life
on the Road (S)
12.15 - 1.15am Classic Albums
(AD) (S)
11.00 am A Monster in Paris
(2011) Animated comedy
with the voice of Vanessa
Paradis (S)
12.45 pm The SpongeBob
Movie: Sponge Out of
Water (2015) Animated
comedy with the voice of
Tom Kenny (S)
2.30 How to Train Your
Dragon (2010) Animated
fantasy with the voice of
Jay Baruchel (AD) (S)
4.20 Tooth Fairy (2010)
Family comedy starring
Dwayne Johnson (S)
6.25 X-Men 2 (2003)
Superhero adventure
sequel starring Hugh
Jackman (S)
9.00 X-Men: The Last Stand
(2006) Superhero
adventure sequel starring
Hugh Jackman (AD) (S)
11.05 My Entire High School
Sinking into the Sea
(2016) Freeview
Premiere. Animated teen
comedy with the voice of
Jason Schwartzman (S)
12.35 - 2.25am Bad Teacher
(2011) Comedy starring
Cameron Diaz (AD) (S)
12.00 noon NCIS: Los
Angeles (R) (S)
1.00 pm Hawaii Five-0 (R)
(S)
2.00 Hawaii Five-0 (R) (S)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (R)
(S)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (R) (S)
5.00 The Simpsons (R) (S)
5.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
6.00 Futurama (R) (S)
6.30 The Simpsons (R) (S)
7.00 The Simpsons
(R) (S)
7.30 The Simpsons Marge
sends Homer to a
mental institution (R)
8.00 The Simpsons Bart
ruins Krusty’s career
8.30 Modern Family Gloria
and Mitch are invited to
a party at Oprah’s
house
9.00 Karl Pilkington: The
Moaning of Life The
factors that shape
people’s identities (AD)
(R) (S)
10.00 Sky Sports’ Funniest
Moments: Best Bits
(AD) (R) (S)
12.00 - 1.00am A League of
Their Own (AD) (R) (S)
SKY 121 VIRGIN 122
FV 15 FS 300 SKY 315 VIRGIN 428
SKY 106 VIRGIN 110
FV 6 FS 113 SKY 118 VIRGIN 115
FV 10 FS 115 SKY 119 VIRGIN 117
ITV3
ITV4
Sky Atlantic
10.20 am The Bachelor (R) (S)
12.15 pm Emmerdale (AD) (R)
(S)
12.45 Emmerdale (AD) (R) (S)
1.15 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (S)
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
3.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(R) (S)
4.50 Judge Rinder (R) (S)
5.50 Take Me Out Dating
game, hosted by Paddy
McGuinness (R) (S)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (R) (S)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (R)
(S)
9.00 FILM American Pie 2
(2001) Comedy sequel
starring Jason Biggs (AD)
(S)
11.05 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
11.35 Family Guy (AD) (R) (S)
12.05 am American Dad! (AD)
(R) (S)
12.35 - 1.05am American Dad!
(AD) (R) (S)
10.20 am Inspector Morse
(AD) (R) (S)
12.35 pm The Royal (AD) (R)
(S)
1.35 Heartbeat (R) (S)
2.40 Classic Coronation
Street (R)
3.15 Classic Coronation
Street Audrey neglects
Alf and the shop to be
with Malcolm (R)
3.50 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.20 On the Buses (R) (S)
4.55 You’re Only Young
Twice (R) (S)
5.25 Rising Damp (R) (S)
5.55 Heartbeat An elderly
man reports an unusual
break-in (R) (S)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote One
of Jessica’s friends is
charged with murder
(AD) (R) (S)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s
Marple A gathering at a
Devon estate leads to
murder (R) (S)
10.00 The Syndicate (R) (S)
11.05 Killer Women with Piers
Morgan (AD) (R) (S)
12.05 - 1.55am Vera (AD) (R)
(S)
11.50
12.50
1.55
2.55
4.00
5.00
6.10
12.00 noon House (AD) (R)
(S)
1.00 pm Without a Trace
(R) (S)
2.00 Blue Bloods (AD) (R)
(S)
3.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
4.00 The West Wing (R) (S)
5.00 House (R) (S)
6.00 House (AD) (R) (S)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (R) (S)
8.00 Blue Bloods Danny and
Baez search for a
missing journalist (R)
9.00 Game of Thrones
Jaime finally visits
Tyrion in jail after some
persuasion from Bronn,
and also has a mission
for Brienne. Jon asks
for volunteers to go to
Craster’s Keep with him
(AD) (R) (S)
10.10 Game of Thrones Jon
and his men attack the
mutineers at Craster’s
Keep (AD) (R) (S)
11.10 Game of Thrones (AD)
(R) (S)
12.10 - 1.20am The
Sopranos (R) (S)
H I S T O RY
Investigation 5.00 Car SOS 7.00 Air
Crash Investigation 8.00 Car SOS 10.00
Supercar Megabuild 11.00 Air Crash
Investigation 12.00 - 1.00am Strippers:
Cars for Cash
ITV2
SKY 529 VIRGIN 270
2.00pm American Pickers 3.00 Counting
Cars 4.00 Storage Wars 5.00 Forged in
Fire 7.00 American Pickers 8.00 Counting
Cars 9.00 Hitler’s Circle of Evil 10.00
D-Day 12.00 - 1.00am Ice Lake Warriors
MORE4
FV 14 FS 124 SKY 138 VIRGIN 147
2.10pm Come Dine with Me 4.50 A Place
in the Sun 5.55 Kirstie and Phil’s Love It or
List It 6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo 7.55
Grand Designs 9.00 Rough Justice 10.00
24 Hours in A&E 12.10am Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA 1.10 24 Hours in
A&E 3.15 - 3.55am 8 Out of 10 Cats
NAT I O NA L
GEOGRAPHIC
SKY 526 VIRGIN 266
noon Nazi Megastructures 2.00pm
Airport Security: Colombia 3.00 Air Crash
W
SKY 109 VIRGIN 125
noon Tipping Point 1.00pm Supernanny
US 2.00 Who Do You Think You Are? USA
3.00 My Dream Home 5.00 Tipping Point
7.00 My Dream Home 8.00 Inside the
Ambulance 9.00 999 Rescue Squad
10.00 Embarrassing Bodies 11.00 Gavin
& Stacey 11.40 Russell Howard’s Good
News 12.20 - 1.20am Inside the
Ambulance
FV 24 FS 117 SKY 120 VIRGIN 118
6.40
7.05
7.30
8.00
9.00
10.00
12.00
am The Avengers (R) (S)
pm Ironside (R) (S)
Quincy ME (R) (S)
Minder (AD) (R) (S)
The Saint (R) (S)
The Avengers (R) (S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Storage Wars: Texas (R)
(S)
Pawn Stars (R) (S)
Pawn Stars Rick gets
involved in a bidding war
(R) (S)
The Virtual Grand
National 2018 One-off
special aimed at
predicting the outcome
of the Grand National (S)
Car Crash Britain:
Caught on Camera
A car that ploughed
into a woman’s office (R)
(S)
FILM Rambo: First
Blood Part II (1985)
Action adventure sequel
starring Sylvester
Stallone. Includes FYI
Daily (AD) (S)
- 1.00am The Americans
(AD) (R) (S)
Bodyguard 7.00 Rallying: The Killer Years
8.00 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan
Snow 9.00 Whatever Happened to the
Likely Lads? 11.00 Private Lives of the
Monarchs 12.00 - 1.00am The World’s
Weirdest Weapons
SKY SPORTS
MAIN EVENT
SKY 108
7.00 Premier League Match Pack 7.30
Premier League Preview 8.00 PL
Prediction Show 8.30 Premier League
Preview 9.00 Premier League Today
9.30 PL Prediction Show 10.00 PL
Greatest Games 10.15 The Debate
11.15 PL Greatest Games 11.30
Premier League Preview 12.00 PL
Prediction Show 12.30 - 1.00am
Premier League Match Pack
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511
11.00am Live European Tour Golf
1.00pm Live PGA Tour Golf 3.00 Live
Indian Premier League 7.00 Live EFL
10.15 The Debate 11.15 PL Greatest
Games 11.30 Premier League Preview
12.00 - 2.00am Sky Sports News
Y E S T E R D AY
SKY SPORTS
PREMIER LEAGUE
FV 19 FS 159 SKY 537 VIRGIN 245
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
noon Time Team 1.00pm The Hunt 2.00
Life in Cold Blood 3.00 Coast 4.00 Private
Lives of the Monarchs 5.00 The World’s
Weirdest Weapons 6.00 Churchill’s
noon Premier League Match Pack
12.30pm PL Greatest Games 1.00
Football Centre 5.00 Premier League
Match Pack 5.30 Premier League Today
BT SPORT 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531
10.00am Live WTA Tennis 4.00pm
Total Italian Football 4.30 Live WTA
Tennis 6.30 Rugby Tonight On Tour
7.00 Live Aviva Premiership Rugby
Union. Newcastle Falcons v Sale Sharks
(Kick-off 7.45pm) 10.00 Premier
League Preview 10.30 Premier League
Match Pack 11.00 Premier League
World 11.30 Total Italian Football
12.00 Uefa Champions League
Magazine 12.30 - 1.00am Formula E:
Street Racers
48
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Radio
CHARLOTTE
RUNCIE
RADIO CRITIC
There’s so much science,
art and history being
given fresh insight that
this week’s radio is like
enrolling on an evening
course. Frankly, it’s rare
to have a week with so
much brain-food. It
begins with an Archive
on 4, The Ultimate Trip:
Stanley Kubrick’s Space
Odyssey (Saturday,
Radio 4, 8.00pm).
Historian and writer
Christopher Frayling
discovers how Nasa was
enlisted to help Kubrick
create his extraordinary
futurist vision.
In Sunday Feature:
Too Many Artists?
(Sunday, Radio 3,
6.45pm), music journalist
Paul Morley argues that,
in a chaotic modern
world of uncertain
politics and rapid
scientific change, we are
increasingly turning to
art to look for answers
and ideas. And there
seem to be more artists
around than ever to help
us out – and to sell us
their work. But what
qualifies them? And can
anybody simply call
themselves an artist
these days? This evocative
sound essay asks
these valid questions,
despite at times
veering into grumpyold-man territory.
Chinese Characters
(Monday, Radio 4, 1.45pm) is
the first of an extensive
20-part series exploring
Chinese history through the
lives of remarkable people,
presented with energy
and erudition by historian
Rana Mitter. Part one
begins with the thrilling
story of Wu Zetian, China’s
only female emperor in her
own right. It’s a promising
start to a series that is an
in-depth and intelligent
introduction to how the
most populous country on
Earth was shaped.
It’s probably best not to
listen to The Second
Genome (Tuesday, Radio 4,
11.00am) while you are
Podcast Radio Hour: Sofie
Hagen Friday, R4 Extra, 11.00am
eating: it begins with the
analysis of a faecal sample
taken from BBC health and
science correspondent
James Gallagher, in an
attempt to discover what
the microbes living inside
his body tell us about his
overall health. Current
research suggests that the
genes in our microbiome,
the contents of our gut,
affect everything from how
we react to disease, obesity,
and to mental health.
People living in hostile
environments and changing
landscapes are the focus of
this episode of The
Compass (Wednesday,
World Service, 10.06pm),
subtitled Living on the
Edge – Deserts. Climate
change and conflict across
the world lead to
increased competition for
land, and the presenter,
Nigerian journalist Didi
Akinyelure, speaks to
experts about how to
improve the situation as
well as people living in
these areas to find out
what life here is like.
With Anglo-Russian
relations, spies and
diplomatic bonds in the
news, it’s hard to believe
that the Cold War ever
ended. Cold Art (Thursday,
Radio 4, 11.30am) is about
artists inspired by its
events first time around.
Artist Louise K Wilson
looks at new work being
made based on
recollections of wars that
were ever-threatening,
but never boiled over.
She meets Stephen
Felmingham and Kathrine
Sandys to hear about their
work based on memories
of military bases, covert
activity and imagined
violence.
We are all podcast
addicts now, especially
as the line between
traditional radio and
podcasting is becoming
ever more blurred.
Podcasts are often freer
and more in-depth than
radio, and with fewer
restrictions comes an
overwhelming array of
content. Podcast Radio
Hour (Friday, Radio 4
Extra, 11.00am) is, then,
a helpful guide to what to
listen to. This week,
Danish comedian Sofie
Hagen talks to Imriel
Morgan of the inspiring
Wanna Be podcast about
personal development.
Saturday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.00am Alice Levine 10.00
Radio 1’s Greatest Hits with Maya
Jama 1.00pm The Matt
Edmondson Show 4.00 Radio 1’s
Dance Anthems with MistaJam
7.00 1Xtra’s Takeover with DJ
Target 9.00 The Rap Show with
Charlie Sloth 11.00 Diplo and
Friends 1.00am Radio 1’s Asian
Beats with Kan D Man & DJ
Limelight 4.00 - 6.00am David
Rodigan
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.00am Sounds of the 60s
8.00 Saturday Breakfast with
Dermot 10.00 Graham Norton
1.00pm Pick of the Pops 3.00
The Zoe Ball Show 6.00 Liza
Tarbuck 8.00 Trevor Nelson’s
Rhythm Nation 10.00 The Craig
Charles House Party 12.00 Ana
Matronic’s Disco Devotion
2.00am Radio 2’s Showtunes
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Love Songs 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Easy 5.00 - 6.00am
Huey on Sunday
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
7.00 am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Record Review
12.15 pm Music Matters
1.00 News
1.02 Inside Music
3.00 Sound of Dance. Katie
Derham talks to
choreographer Wayne
McGregor as he prepares
a new ballet to
Bernstein’s Chichester
Psalms and explores just
why Bernstein’s music is
so well suited to dance
4.00 Jazz Record Requests.
Alyn Shipton includes
music by the French
pianist Michel Petrucciani
5.00 J to Z. New series. A new
programme featuring the
best in jazz – past,
present and future.
Jumoké Fashola presents
UK band of the moment
Sons of Kemet in session
6.30 Opera on 3 from the Met.
Roberto Abbado
conducts Lucia di
Lammermoor by
Donizetti at the Met, in a
production by Tony
Award-winning director
Mary Zimmerman
10.00 Hear and Now
12.00 Geoffrey Smith’s Jazz
1.00 - 7.00am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
Archive on 4: The Ultimate Trip: Stanley Kubrick’s Space Odyssey Saturday, Radio 4, 8.00pm
6.00 am News and Papers
6.07 Open Country
6.30 Farming Today This Week
6.57 Weather
7.00 Today
Celebration: So Long And
Thanks for All the Fish 10.00 My
Teenage Diary 10.30 A Stuggy
Pren 10.45 Terry Alderton’s All
Crazy Now 11.00 That Mitchell
and Webb Sound 11.30 Think
the Unthinkable 12.00
Nightmare World 1.00am A
Book of Middle Eastern Food
Omnibus 2.10 Inheritance Tracks
2.15 Sentimental Journey 2.45 I
Should Say So 3.00 Archive on
4: Writers and Radio 4.00
Opera on 3 from the Met: Lucia Boudicca’s Victory 5.30 Di Lammermoor Radio 3, 6.30pm 6.00am Freedom Pass
9.00 Saturday Live
10.30 The Kitchen Cabinet
11.00 The Forum
11.30 From Our Own
Correspondent
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Money Box
12.30 The Now Show
12.57 Weather
1.00 News
1.10 Any Questions?. Ritula
Shah presents political
debate from All Saints
Church in Bakewell,
Derbyshire with a panel
including MPs Tracy
Brabin, Nigel Evans and
Tim Farron
2.00 Any Answers?
2.30 Drama: Inspector Chen: A
Loyal Character Dancer
3.30 Opening Night
4.00 Weekend Woman’s Hour
5.00 Saturday PM
5.30 iPM
5.54 Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Loose Ends
7.00 Profile
7.15 Saturday Review
8.00 Archive on 4: The
Ultimate Trip: Stanley
Kubrick’s Space Odyssey
See Pick of the week
9.00 Drama: An Enemy of the
People
10.00 News; Weather
10.15 Unreliable Evidence
11.00 Brain of Britain
11.30 In Love with Mud: A
Poetic Exploration of Mud
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Short Works
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Bells on Sunday
5.45 - 6.00am Profile
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am Boudicca’s Victory 7.30
Freedom Pass 8.00 Archive on
4: Writers and Radio 9.00
Kismet 11.35 The Story Behind
Kismet 12.00 The Write Stuff
12.30pm Millport 1.00 A Book of
Middle Eastern Food Omnibus
2.10 Inheritance Tracks 2.15
Sentimental Journey 2.45 I
Should Say So 3.00 Archive on
4: Writers and Radio 4.00
Boudicca’s Victory 5.30
Freedom Pass 6.00 Nightmare
World 7.00 Douglas Adams: A
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am Saturday Breakfast
9.00 The Danny Baker Show
11.00 Fighting Talk 12.00 5 Live
Sport 2.30pm 5 Live Sport 3.00
5 Live Sport: Premier League
Football 2017-18. Commentary
on a 3pm kick-off in the Premier
League 5.00 Sports Report 5.30
5 Live Sport: Premier League
Football 2017-18. Manchester
City v Manchester United (Kickoff 5.30pm) 7.30 6-0-6 9.00 5
Live Golf: The Masters 1.00am
Up All Night 5.00 - 6.00am 5
Live Science
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
7.00am Alan Titchmarsh 10.00
Bill Turnbull 1.00pm Henry
Blofeld 3.00 Nicholas Owen
5.00 Saturday Night at the
Movies 7.00 Cowan’s Classics
9.00 David Mellor’s Light Music
Matters 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Katie Breathwick 4.00 7.00am Jane Jones
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Weekend 8.30 Global
Business 9.00 News 9.06 Top of
the Pops 10.00 Sports Hour
11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.30 Trending 11.50
Over to You 12.00 The Real
Story 1.00pm Newshour 2.00
News 2.06 Music Extra 3.00
News 3.06 Sportsworld 4.00
News 4.06 Sportsworld 5.00
News 5.06 Sportsworld 6.00
The Newsroom 6.30 The
Cultural Frontline 7.00 News
7.06 The World This Week 7.30
The Documentary 8.00 News
8.06 The Forum 8.50 The Big
Idea 9.00 Newshour 10.00
News 10.06 Outlook 10.30
Boston Calling 11.00 News 11.06
The Newsroom 11.20 Sports
News 11.30 Global Business
12.00 News 12.06am From Our
Own Correspondent 12.30
CrowdScience 1.00 The World
This Week 1.30 Trending 1.50
Over to You 2.00 News 2.06
The Newsroom 2.30 Discovery
3.00 News 3.06 From Our
Own Correspondent 3.30 Living
with the Gods 3.50 The Big Idea
4.00 News 4.06 World Book
Club 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Assignment
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
Sunday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.00am Alice Levine 10.00
Radio 1’s Greatest Hits with
Jordan North 1.00pm The Matt
Edmondson Show 4.00 Radio 1’s
Life Hacks 6.00 Radio 1’s Most
Played 7.00 Rock Show with
Daniel P Carter 10.00 Radio 1’s
Chillest Show with Phil Taggart
1.00am Monki 3.00 Radio 1’s
Artist Takeover with 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.00am Good Morning Sunday
9.00 Steve Wright’s Sunday
Love Songs 11.00 The Michael
Ball Show 1.00pm Craig Revel
Horwood 3.00 Johnnie Walker’s
Sounds of the 70s 5.00 Paul
O’Grady 7.00 Claudia on Sunday
9.00 Clare Teal 11.00 Moira
Stuart 12.00 Sounds of the 60s
2.00am Radio 2’s Blues Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Pop
Ballads 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Monday Motivation 5.00 6.30am Vanessa Feltz
Monday
8.48 A Point of View
8.58 Tweet of the Day
9.00 Broadcasting House
10.00 The Archers
11.15 The Reunion
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 The Unbelievable Truth
12.30 The Food Programme
1.00 The World This Weekend
1.30 Colin Powell: Learning to
Lead
2.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time
2.45 The Listening Project
3.00 Drama: An Enemy of the
People
4.00 News
4.02 Open Book
4.30 The Echo Chamber
5.00 The Trans Revolution
5.40 Profile
5.54 Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Pick of the Week
7.00 The Archers
7.15 My Obsession
7.45 Life at Absolute Zero
8.00 Feedback
8.30 Last Word
9.00 Money Box
9.26 Radio 4 Appeal
9.30 In Business
10.00 The Westminster Hour
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
7.00 am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Sunday Morning
12.00 Private Passions
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. From Wigmore
Hall, London, Laura van
der Heijden (cello) and
Petr Limonov (piano) play
sonatas by Britten and
Shostakovich
2.00 The Early Music Show
3.00 Choral Evensong. From
the Chapel of Keble
College, Oxford with
director of music
Matthew Martin, organist
Robert Quinney, and
organ scholar Aine
Kennedy
4.00 Choir and Organ
5.00 The Listening Service
5.30 Words and Music
6.45 Sunday Feature: Too
Many Artists? See Pick
of the week
7.30 Drama on 3: The Wild
Duck
9.00 Radio 3 in Concert
11.30 Unclassified
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am News Headlines
6.05 Something Understood
6.35 On Your Farm
7.00 News
7.00 Sunday Papers
7.10 Sunday
7.55 Radio 4 Appeal
8.00 News
8.00 Sunday Papers
8.10 Sunday Worship
49
Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme 6.00 Small Gods
6.30 Weird Tales 7.00 Radiolab
8.00 Sir Ken Dodd: What a
Beautiful Day! 9.20 It’s Great To
Be Young 9.50 Inheritance
Tracks 10.00 John Finnemore’s
Souvenir Programme 10.30
Brian Gulliver’s Travels 11.00
John Shuttleworth’s Lounge
Music 11.30 2000 Years of Radio
11.45 Quando, Quando, Quando
12.00 Small Gods 12.30am
Weird Tales 1.00 The Old
Curiosity Shop Omnibus: Part
Five 2.15 Not Yet Jayette 2.30
Dark Corners Omnibus: Part One
3.45 Ian Fleming’s Thrilling
Cities 4.00 Endless Night 5.00
Poetry Extra 5.30 - 6.00am
John Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am Sunday Breakfast 9.00
SportsWeek 10.00 Pienaar’s
Politics 11.00 5 Live Investigates
12.00 5 Live Sport 4.00pm 5
Live Sport 4.30 5 Live Sport:
Premier League Football 2017-18
6.30 6-0-6 8.00 5 Live Golf:
The Masters 1.00am Up All
Night 4.30 5 Live Formula 1 5.00
Morning Reports 5.15 - 6.00am
Wake Up to Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
Sir Ken Dodd: What a Beautiful
Day! Radio 4 Extra, 8.00pm
11.00 The Film Programme
11.30 Something Understood
12.00 News; Weather
12.15 am Thinking Allowed
12.45 Bells on Sunday
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am The Old Curiosity Shop
Omnibus: Part Five 7.15 Not Yet
Jayette 7.30 John Finnemore’s
Souvenir Programme 8.00 Ray’s
a Laugh 8.30 Take It from Here
9.00 Factfulness Omnibus 10.10
The Listening Project 10.15
Desert Island Discs Revisited:
Artists 11.00 Radiolab 12.00
Ray’s a Laugh 12.30pm Take It
from Here 1.00 The Old
Curiosity Shop Omnibus: Part
Five 2.15 Not Yet Jayette 2.30
Dark Corners Omnibus: Part One
3.45 Ian Fleming’s Thrilling
Cities 4.00 Endless Night 5.00
Poetry Extra 5.30 John
7.00am Aled Jones 10.00 Bill
Turnbull 1.00pm Henry Blofeld
3.00 Charlotte Hawkins 5.00
The Classic FM Chart 7.00 David
Mellor 9.00 Everything You Ever
Wanted to Know About Classical
Music 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00 - 6.00am Sam Pittis
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Weekend 8.30 The
Food Chain 9.00 News 9.06
From Our Own Correspondent
9.30 Heart and Soul 10.00 News
10.06 Outlook 10.30 The
Compass 11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.30 Boston Calling
12.00 News 12.06pm BBC World
Hacks 12.30 Science in Action
1.00 Newshour 2.00 News 2.06
World Book Club 3.00 News
3.06 The Arts Hour 4.00 News
4.06 Sportsworld 5.00 News
5.06 Sportsworld 6.00 News
6.06 Sportsworld 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Living with the
Gods 7.50 More or Less 8.00
News 8.06 Music Extra 9.00
Newshour 10.06 The History
Hour 11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.20 Sports News
11.30 Heart and Soul 12.00
News 12.06am The Cultural
Frontline 12.30 Click 1.00 News
1.06 World Business Report 1.30
Science in Action 2.00 News
2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
Healthcheck 3.00 News 3.06
Newsday 3.30 The Conversation
4.00 News 4.06 Newsday 5.00
News 5.06 The Newsroom 5.30
- 6.00am CrowdScience
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Radio 1’s
Drum & Bass Show with Rene
LaVice 3.00 Radio 1’s Specialist
Chart with Phil Taggart 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Fearne Cotton 9.30
Trevor Nelson 12.00 Jeremy
Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright in
the Afternoon 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 The Blues Show with Paul
Jones 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00
Mike Batt: by Arrangement
11.00 Jools Holland 12.00
Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the
70s 2.00am Radio 2’s Jazz
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists:
Great British Songbook 4.00
Radio 2 Playlists: Hidden
Treasures 5.00 - 6.30am
Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. Fiona Talkington
introduces a live recital
from London’s Wigmore
Hall in which pianist
Javier Perianes performs
pieces by Chopin,
Debussy and Falla
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Music Matters
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Jazz Now
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 Start the Week
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Epiphanies
11.30 Ayres on the Air
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters See
Pick of the week
2.00 The Archers
Chinese Characters: presenter
Rana Mitter Radio 4, 1.45pm
2.15 Drama: States of Mind:
The Sky Is Wider
3.00 Brain of Britain
3.30 The Food Programme
4.00 Natalie Haynes Stands Up
for the Classics
4.30 Beyond Belief
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Unbelievable Truth
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. A round-up of
arts news and reviews
7.45 How Does That Make You
Feel?
8.00 Generation Neither
8.30 Crossing Continents
9.00 My Secret Wig
9.30 Start the Week
9.59 Weather
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 LW: Something of the
Night
11.00 FM: Something of the
Night
11.30 The Digital Human
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am White Heat 6.30 The
Art of Re-Mastering 7.00
Millport 7.30 The Unbelievable
Truth 8.00 Hancock’s Half Hour
8.30 Flywheel, Shyster and
Flywheel 9.00 Just a Minute
9.30 King Street Junior 10.00
Jude the Obscure 11.00 Evelyn
Waugh Short Stories 11.15 The
Means to an End 12.00
Hancock’s Half Hour 12.30pm
Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel
1.00 White Heat 1.30 The Art of
Re-Mastering 2.00 The Essex
Serpent 2.15 Disability: A New
History 2.30 Tristram Shandy
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Jude the Obscure
4.00 Just a Minute 4.30 King
Street Junior 5.00 Millport 5.30
The Unbelievable Truth 6.00
The North London Book of the
Dead 6.30 A Good Read 7.00
Hancock’s Half Hour 7.30
Flywheel, Shyster and Flywheel
8.00 White Heat 8.30 The Art
of Re-Mastering 9.00 Evelyn
Waugh Short Stories 9.15 The
Means to an End 10.00 The
Unbelievable Truth 10.30
Cowards 11.00 The Now Show
11.30 The Problem with Adam
Bloom 12.00 The North London
Book of the Dead 12.30am A
Good Read 1.00 White Heat 1.30
The Art of Re-Mastering 2.00
The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
Tristram Shandy 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Jude the Obscure 4.00 Just a
Minute 4.30 King Street Junior
5.00 Millport 5.30 - 6.00am
The Unbelievable Truth
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Clare McDonnell 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 10.00
Flintoff, Savage and the Ping
Pong Guy 10.30 Phil Williams
1.00am Up All Night 5.00
Morning Reports 5.15 - 6.00am
Wake Up to Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Jane Jones begins a
week-long celebration of the
Philharmonia Orchestra, and
features tracks by Beethoven,
Rachmaninov and Delius among
others 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00 - 6.00am Sam Pittis
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.06
HARDtalk 8.30 Business Daily
8.50 Witness 9.00 News 9.06
The Arts Hour 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 The Conversation 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 The Why
Factor 1.50 More or Less 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06
HARDtalk 3.30 World Business
Report 4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News
6.06 Outlook 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 HARDtalk
8.30 Discovery 9.00 Newshour
10.00 News 10.06 The Why
Factor 10.30 The Conversation
11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.20 Sports News
11.30 World Business Report
12.00 News 12.06am The Arts
Hour 1.00 News 1.06 Business
Matters 2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 The Why Factor
2.50 More or Less 3.00 News
3.06 Newsday 3.30 In the
Studio 4.00 News 4.06
Newsday 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Discovery
50
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
***
Radio
Tuesday
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Annie
Nightingale 3.00 Radio 1
Comedy: Scott & Chris 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Fearne Cotton 9.30
Trevor Nelson 12.00 Jeremy
Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright in
the Afternoon 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 Jamie Cullum 8.00 Jo
Whiley 10.00 Blood on the
Tracks 11.00 Nigel Ogden: The
Organist Entertains 11.30 Listen
to the Band 12.00 Sounds of the
80s 2.00am Radio 2’s Folk
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
90s Hits 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Wednesday Workout 5.00 6.30am Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. Sarah Walker
introduces highlights
from the Norfolk and
Norwich Chamber Music,
featuring the Gould Piano
Trio performing
Beethoven and the
Haffner Wind Ensemble
with Mozart
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Late Junction
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 The Long View
9.30 Nature’s Great Invaders
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 The Second Genome
See Pick of the week
11.30 The Voices of
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 Call You and Yours
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: States of Mind
3.00 The Kitchen Cabinet
3.30 Costing the Earth
4.00 Word of Mouth
4.30 Great Lives
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Love in Recovery
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. A round-up of
arts news and reviews
7.45 How Does That Make You
Feel?
8.00 Meeting the Man I Killed
8.40 In Touch
9.00 Inconspicuous
Consumption
9.30 The Long View
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Richard Marsh: Cardboard
Heart
11.30 The Digital Human
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Here 9.00 Evelyn Waugh Short
Stories 9.15 People Come Here
to Cry 10.00 Love in Recovery
10.30 Sleepy Tigers 11.00
ElvenQuest 11.30 The Lawrence
Sweeney Mix 12.00 The
Scarifyers: The King of Winter
12.30am Pioneers 1.00 White
Heat 1.30 The Days of Take It
From Here 2.00 The Essex
Serpent 2.15 Disability: A New
History 2.30 Tristram Shandy
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Jude the Obscure
4.00 It’s Not What You Know
4.30 Ballylenon 5.00 Arrested
Development 5.30 - 6.00am
Love in Recovery
6.00am White Heat 6.30 The
Days of Take It From Here 7.00
Arrested Development 7.30
Love in Recovery 8.00 The Ken
Dodd Show 8.30 The Men from
the Ministry 9.00 The Now
Show 9.30 Stilgoe’s Around
10.00 Jude the Obscure 11.00
Evelyn Waugh Short Stories 11.15
People Come Here to Cry 12.00
The Ken Dodd Show 12.30pm
The Men from the Ministry 1.00
White Heat 1.30 The Days of
Take It From Here 2.00 The
Essex Serpent 2.15 Disability: A
New History 2.30 Tristram
Shandy 2.45 On Her Majesty’s
Secret Service 3.00 Jude the
Obscure 4.00 It’s Not What You
Know 4.30 Ballylenon 5.00
Arrested Development 5.30
Love in Recovery 6.00 The
Scarifyers: The King of Winter
6.30 Pioneers 7.00 The Ken
Dodd Show 7.30 The Men from
the Ministry 8.00 White Heat
8.30 The Days of Take It From
Word of Mouth: presenter
Michael Rosen Radio 4, 4.00pm
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Benji B 3.00
Radio 1 Comedy: Niki and
Sammy’s Peachy Podcast 4.00 6.30am Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
Classic FM
Radio 3
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Jane Jones presents
night two of Philharmonia Week
with eight different full works
from Classic FM’s Orchestra on
Tour, including pieces by Rossini
and Elgar 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00 - 6.00am Sam Pittis
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert.
2.00 Afternoon Concert
3.30 Choral Evensong. Archive
recording of service from
Washington National
Cathedral in the United
States, first broadcast in
April 1993 with organist
and choirmaster Douglas
Major
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Late Junction
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
Digital only
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Clare McDonnell 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport:
Champions League Football.
Coverage of the night’s quarterfinal second-leg matches 201718 10.30 Adrian Goldberg
1.00am Up All Night 5.00
Morning Reports 5.15 - 6.00am
Wake Up to Money
MW 693 & 909kHz
Radio 4 Extra
Radio 1
6.30am Fearne Cotton 9.30
Trevor Nelson 12.00 Jeremy
Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright in
the Afternoon 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 The Folk Show with Mark
Radcliffe 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00
Memphis & Martin Luther King:
“They Wouldn’t Treat Me Like a
Man” 11.00 Old Grey Whistle
Test 40 12.00 Pick of the Pops
2.00am Radio 2 Playlists:
Country Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 6.30am Vanessa Feltz
Radio 5 Live
World Service
Digital only
ANDREW CROWLEY
Radio 1
Wednesday
6.00am Newsday 8.06 BBC
World Hacks 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 News
9.06 The Forum 9.50 Sporting
Witness 10.00 World Update
11.00 The Newsroom 11.30 In
the Studio 12.00 News 12.06pm
Outlook 1.00 The Newsroom
1.30 The Documentary 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06 BBC
World Hacks 3.30 World
Business Report 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 Outlook 7.00
The Newsroom 7.30 Sport
Today 8.00 News 8.06 BBC
World Hacks 8.30 Click 9.00
Newshour 10.00 News 10.06
The Documentary 10.30 In the
Studio 11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.20 Sports News
11.30 World Business Report
12.00 News 12.06am The Forum
12.50 Sporting Witness
1.00 News 1.06 Business
Matters 2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 The
Documentary 3.00 News 3.06
Newsday 3.30 The Compass
4.00 News 4.06 Newsday 5.00
News 5.06 The Newsroom 5.30
- 6.00am Click
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: Tommies
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 Inconspicuous
Consumption
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Sketchtopia
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row
7.45 LW: How Does That Make
You Feel?
7.45 FM: How Does That Make
You Feel?
8.00 Unreliable Evidence
8.45 Four Thought
9.00 Costing the Earth
9.30 Soul Music
9.59 Weather
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Sophie Willan’s Guide to
Normality
11.15 The John Moloney Show
11.30 pm The Digital Human
12.00 FM: News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
12.48 Shipping Forecast
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 Soul Music
9.30 The History of Secrecy
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
10.00 Woman’s Hour
10.56 The Listening Project
11.00 Generation Neither
11.30 Big Problems with Helen
Keen
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Clare McDonnell 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport:
Champions League Football
2017-18 10.30 Phil Williams
1.00am Up All Night 5.00
Morning Reports 5.15 - 6.00am
Wake Up to Money
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
Radio 4
the Horne 8.00 White Heat
8.30 Serbian Trumpets 9.00
The Lunch Box 9.15 Dr Barry
10.00 Sketchtopia 10.30 2525
11.00 As Told to Craig Brown
11.30 The Consultants 12.00
The Scarifyers: The King of
Winter 12.30am The Tingle
Factor 1.00 White Heat 1.30
Serbian Trumpets 2.00 The
Essex Serpent 2.15 Disability: A
New History 2.30 Tristram
Shandy 2.45 On Her Majesty’s
Secret Service 3.00 Jude the
Obscure 4.00 The Write Stuff
4.30 Life, Death and Sex with
Mike and Sue 5.00 Ring Around
the Bath 5.30 - 6.00am
Sketchtopia
The Compass: Didi Akinyelure
World Service, 10.06pm
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am White Heat 6.30
Serbian Trumpets 7.00 Ring
Around the Bath 7.30
Sketchtopia 8.00 The Navy Lark
8.30 Round the Horne 9.00 The
Write Stuff 9.30 Life, Death and
Sex with Mike and Sue 10.00
Jude the Obscure 11.00 The
Lunch Box 11.15 Dr Barry 12.00
The Navy Lark 12.30pm Round
the Horne 1.00 White Heat 1.30
Serbian Trumpets 2.00 The
Essex Serpent 2.15 Disability: A
New History 2.30 Tristram
Shandy 2.45 On Her Majesty’s
Secret Service 3.00 Jude the
Obscure 4.00 The Write Stuff
4.30 Life, Death and Sex with
Mike and Sue 5.00 Ring Around
the Bath 5.30 Sketchtopia 6.00
The Scarifyers: The King of
Winter 6.30 The Tingle Factor
7.00 The Navy Lark 7.30 Round
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Night three of
Philharmonia Week, and Jane
Jones plays works by
Tchaikovsky, Vaughan Williams,
Beethoven, Malcolm Arnold and
Leoncavallo 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00 - 6.00am Sam
Pittis
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.06
HARDtalk 8.30 Business Daily
8.50 Witness 9.00 News 9.06
World Book Club 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 The Documentary 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 The
Compass 2.00 Newshour 3.00
News 3.06 HARDtalk 3.30
World Business Report 4.00
BBC OS 6.00 News 6.06
Outlook 7.00 The Newsroom
7.30 Sport Today 8.00 News
8.06 HARDtalk 8.30
Healthcheck 9.00 Newshour
10.00 News 10.06 The
Compass See Pick of the week
10.30 The Documentary 11.00
News 11.06 The Newsroom
11.20 Sports News 11.30 World
Business Report 12.00 News
12.06am World Book Club 1.00
News 1.06 Business Matters
2.00 News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 The Documentary 3.00
News 3.06 Newsday 3.30 The
Food Chain 4.00 News 4.06
Newsday 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Healthcheck
The Daily Telegraph Saturday 7 April 2018
***
Thursday
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The
8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 BBC
Radio 1’s Residency: Black
Madonna 12.00 Radio 1’s
Residency: Bradley Zero 1.00am
Toddla T 3.00 Radio 1 Comedy:
Ray Moss No Stone Unturned
4.00 - 6.30am Radio 1’s Early
Breakfast Show with Adele
Roberts
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Fearne Cotton 9.30
Trevor Nelson 12.00 Jeremy
Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright in
the Afternoon 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 Bob Harris Country 8.00 Jo
Whiley 10.00 The Radio 2 Arts
Show with Anneka Rice 12.00
The Craig Charles House Party
2.00am Radio 2’s Tracks of My
Years Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Have A Great Weekend
4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Feelgood
Friday 5.00 - 6.30am Vanessa
Feltz
Friday
3.00 Open Country
3.27 Radio 4 Appeal
3.30 Open Book
4.00 The Film Programme
4.30 BBC Inside Science
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
the Galaxy: Hexagonal
Phase
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row. A round-up of
arts news and reviews
7.45 How Does That Make You
Feel?
8.00 The Briefing Room
8.30 In Business
9.00 BBC Inside Science
9.30 In Our Time
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Beef and Dairy Network
11.30 The Digital Human
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Packing My Library
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
Radio 3
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 In Our Time
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 Crossing Continents
11.30 Cold Art See Pick of the
week
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.57 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: How We’re Loved
Photographs Fever: The Search
for China’s Pictured Past 9.00
Missing 9.15 The Man on the
Green Bicycle 10.00 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
Hexagonal Phase 10.30
Sketchorama 11.00
Wondermentalist Cabaret 11.30
Bleak Expectations 12.00 The
Scarifyers: The King of Winter
12.30am Great Lives 1.00 White
Heat 1.30 Old Photographs
Fever: The Search for China’s
Pictured Past 2.00 The Essex
Serpent 2.15 Disability: A New
History 2.30 Tristram Shandy
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Jude the Obscure
4.00 Listomania 4.30 HR 5.00
North by Northamptonshire 5.30
- 6.00am The Hitchhiker’s Guide
to the Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
The Emma Barnett Show with
Clare McDonnell 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 8.00 5
Live Sport: Commonwealth
Games 2018 9.30 5 Live
Formula 1 10.00 Question Time
Extra Time 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Morning Reports 5.15 6.00am Wake Up to Money
Classic FM
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. Sarah Walker
introduces highlights
from the Norfolk and
Norwich Chamber Music
series
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Late Junction
12.30 - 6.30am Through the
Night
51
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
The Film Programme: guest
Jeremy Dyson Radio 4, 4.00pm
5.58 - 6.00am Tweet of the
Day
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
6.00am White Heat 6.30 Old
Photographs Fever: The Search
for China’s Pictured Past 7.00
North by Northamptonshire 7.30
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase 8.00
Marriage Lines 8.30 The Goon
Show 9.00 Listomania 9.30 HR
10.00 Jude the Obscure 11.00
Missing 11.15 The Man on the
Green Bicycle 12.00 Marriage
Lines 12.30pm The Goon Show
1.00 White Heat 1.30 Old
Photographs Fever: The Search
for China’s Pictured Past 2.00
The Essex Serpent 2.15 Disability:
A New History 2.30 Tristram
Shandy 2.45 On Her Majesty’s
Secret Service 3.00 Jude the
Obscure 4.00 Listomania 4.30
HR 5.00 North by
Northamptonshire 5.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
Hexagonal Phase 6.00 The
Scarifyers: The King of Winter
6.30 Great Lives 7.00 Marriage
Lines 7.30 The Goon Show 8.00
White Heat 8.30 Old
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Catherine Bott
continues the celebration of the
Philharmonia Orchestra, and
begins with a curtain-raiser by
Weber 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00 - 6.00am Jane Jones
World Service
Digital only
6.00am Newsday 8.06 The
Inquiry 8.30 Business Daily 8.50
Witness 9.00 News 9.06 The
Thought Show 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 The Food Chain 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 Assignment
2.00 Newshour 3.00 News 3.06
The Inquiry 3.30 World Business
Report 4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News
6.06 Outlook 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 The Inquiry
8.30 Science in Action 9.00
Newshour 10.00 News 10.06
Assignment 10.30 The Food
Chain 11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.20 Sports News
11.30 World Business Report
12.06am The Thought Show
1.00 News 1.06 Business
Matters 2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 Assignment
3.00 News 3.06 Newsday 3.30
World Football 4.00 News 4.06
Newsday 5.00 News 5.06 The
Newsroom 5.30 - 6.00am
Science in Action
Radio 1
FM 97.6-99.8MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast
Show with Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 The
Official Chart with MistaJam
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 BBC Radio
1’s Dance Anthems with
MistaJam 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00
Pete Tong 11.00 Danny Howard
1.00am B.Traits 4.00 - 6.00am
Radio 1’s Essential Mix
Radio 2
FM 88-90.2MHz
6.30am Fearne Cotton 9.30
Trevor Nelson 12.00 Jeremy
Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright in
the Afternoon 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 Tony Blackburn’s Golden
Hour 8.00 Friday Night Is Music
Night 10.00 Sounds of the 80s
12.00 Anneka Rice: The
Happening 2.00am Radio 2’s
Funky Soul Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: New to 2 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: 21st Century Songs 5.00
- 6.00am Huey on Saturday
Radio 3
FM 90.2-92.4MHz
6.30 am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
1.00 pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert. Sarah Walker
introduces highlights
from the Norfolk and
Norwich Chamber Music
series, featuring
Beethoven and Dvorák,
performed by Gould
Piano Trio and the
Haffner Wind Ensemble
2.00 Afternoon Concert
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
10.00 The Verb
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Music Planet
1.00 - 7.00am Through the
Night
Radio 4
FM 92.4-94.6MHz; LW
198kHz
6.00 am Today
9.00 The Reunion
9.45 LW: Daily Service
9.45 FM: Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
10.00 Woman’s Hour
11.00 The Opt Out
11.30 When the Dog Dies
12.00 News
12.01 pm LW: Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
12.56 Weather
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers
2.15 Drama: The Deletion
Committee
3.00 Gardeners’ Question
Music Planet: musician Kathryn
Tickell Radio 3, 11.00pm
Time
3.45 Short Works
4.00 Last Word
4.30 Feedback
4.55 The Listening Project
5.00 PM
5.54 LW: Shipping Forecast
5.57 Weather
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The News Quiz
7.00 The Archers
7.15 Front Row
7.45 How Does That Make You
Feel?
8.00 Any Questions?. Jonathan
Dimbleby presents
political debate from
Oxford Town Hall with
Caroline Flint MP, Peter
Hitchens, Caroline Lucas
MP and Chris Patten
8.50 A Point of View
9.00 Home Front Omnibus
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich
11.00 Great Lives
11.30 Ramblings
11.55 The Listening Project
12.00 News; Weather
12.30 am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 - 6.00am iPM
Radio 4 Extra
White Heat 8.30 Arthur Mee:
Encyclopaedist 9.00 Podcast
Radio Hour 10.00 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:
Hexagonal Phase 10.30 The
Show What You Wrote 11.00
Kevin Eldon Will See You Now
11.30 A Look Back at the
Nineties 12.00 The Scarifyers:
The King of Winter 12.30am
Mastertapes 1.00 White Heat
1.30 Arthur Mee: Encyclopaedist
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
Tristram Shandy 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Jude the Obscure 4.00 It’s Your
Round 4.30 After Henry 5.00
The Stanley Baxter Playhouse
5.30 - 6.00am The Hitchhiker’s
Guide to the Galaxy: Hexagonal
Phase
Radio 5 Live
MW 693 & 909kHz
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00
Chiles on Friday 1.00pm The
Friday Sports Panel 2.00
Kermode and Mayo’s Film
Review 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5
Live Sport: The Friday Football
Social 9.30 At Home with Colin
Murray 10.00 Stephen Nolan
1.00am Up All Night 5.00 Under
the Weather 5.30 - 9.00am
Saturday Breakfast
Classic FM
FM 99.9-101.9MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00 Classic
FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
at Seven 8.00 The Full Works
Concert. Catherine Bott
concludes Philharmonia Week
with a complete performance of
the Orchestra’s new recording of
Rachmaninov’s Symphony No 2,
released a few days ago 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Katie
Breathwick 4.00 - 7.00am Jane
Jones
Digital only
World Service
6.00am White Heat 6.30 Arthur
Mee: Encyclopaedist 7.00 The
Stanley Baxter Playhouse 7.30
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase 8.00
I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again
8.30 Brothers in Law 9.00 It’s
Your Round 9.30 After Henry
10.00 Jude the Obscure 11.00
Podcast Radio Hour See Pick of
the week 12.00 I’m Sorry I’ll
Read That Again 12.30pm
Brothers in Law 1.00 White Heat
1.30 Arthur Mee: Encyclopaedist
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
Tristram Shandy 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Jude the Obscure 4.00 It’s Your
Round 4.30 After Henry 5.00
The Stanley Baxter Playhouse
5.30 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
the Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
6.00 The Scarifyers: The King of
Winter 6.30 Mastertapes 7.00
I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again
7.30 Brothers in Law 8.00
6.00am Newsday 8.30 Business
Daily 8.50 Witness 9.00 The
Real Story 10.00 World Update
11.00 The Newsroom 11.30
World Football 12.00 News
12.06pm The 5th Floor 1.00 The
Newsroom 1.30 Heart and Soul
2.00 Newshour 3.00 News 3.06
Tech Tent 3.30 World Business
Report 4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News
6.06 The 5th Floor 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 HARDtalk 8.30
CrowdScience 9.00 Newshour
10.00 News 10.06 Trending
10.30 World Football 11.00
News 11.06 The Newsroom
11.20 Sports News 11.30 World
Business Report 12.00 News
12.06am The Real Story 1.00
News 1.06 Business Matters
2.00 News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 Heart and Soul 3.00 News
3.06 Global Business 3.30 The
Cultural Frontline 4.06 4.06am The Real Story
Digital only
52
***
Saturday 7 April 2018 The Daily Telegraph
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