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The Guardian G2 - April 23, 2018

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‘I wanted
a break –
but not
15 years’
How Shania Twain
got back on track
Monday 23/04/18
Rhik Samadder
My break-up ceremony
wasn’t that weird
page 3
Demonised drink
Is alcohol about to go
the way of tobacco?
page 4
Morton on Meghan
Digested read
page 11
Pass notes
№ 3,795
Is 4DX the
future of
Fluid shirt;
JW Anderson’s
Moon Face
earrings; Dior’s
ad campaign
Symptoms: Tension headaches, chronic
Treatment: There is only one known cure
– give up.
Is this another name for writer’s block?
Actually, it’s more like reader’s block, and 54%
of people suffer from it, according to a new
survey of 2,000 adults by the Reading Agency.
What is that? A charity that wants to make
people read more.
Don’t people already read their phones
all the time? That doesn’t count. It has
to be books.
Why? What makes books good for you
but phones bad? Dunno. Books are old,
probably. Anyway, the point is that people
sometimes get stuck in the middle of
a book they aren’t enjoying for as long
as three months.
Can’t they just, you know, stop reading it?
No, it seems that many of them can’t. Fully
22% of those surveyed insist that you should
always finish any book you start.
Crikey. Better not start anything too
demanding, in that case. Absolutely.
The books that caused the most cases of
blockage were Fifty Shades of Grey, The Lord
of the Rings and Harry Potter and the Order of
the Phoenix.
Yes, well, um ... Those are all quite long. But
today is World Book Night!
What does that mean? It’s when the publishing
industry gives away some specially selected
books to promote reading.
I see. So like a library, except someone else
tells you what to read? A bit like that, yes.
And it’s why the Reading Agency says now
is the time for sufferers from book-block
to “quit-lit”.
As in, “I’ve had enough of this book. I’m
going to quit-lit”? I guess.
And these people want to advise me on
good writing? Don’t be such a grouch. The
point is that people should feel free to give
up a book they don’t enjoy and replace it
with something better. In the survey, 91%
of people said that reading has a positive
effect on mental health.
That’s a lot. Indeed. “As this research
shows,” says Sue Wilkinson, the chief
executive of the Reading Agency, “reading
can have a hugely positive impact on our
health and wellbeing.”
It doesn’t show that! It only shows that people
think it. She thinks it anyway.
Do say: “Wouldn’t ‘boring books’ be a better
name for this condition?”
Don’t say: “Maybe if people stopped claiming
that books were good for you we’d stop feeling
like we had to finish them.”
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
Why Matisse is fashion’s biggest crush
In Dior’s spring 2018 campaign,
a model poses on a floor marked
with flowing black line drawings of
idealised faces. You can’t mistake
the origin of these designs – Henri
Matisse. Of course, these sketches
are not by Matisse, any more than JW
Anderson’s Moon Face earrings or
Victoria Beckham’s Fluid shirt were
designed by the man who painted
the blazingly carnal Dance in 1910. In
fact, Dior’s collection was inspired
by the artist Niki de Saint Phalle, with
references to her brightly coloured
sculptures and mirror mosaics
featuring throughout. The overall
takeaway from the brand’s spring/
summer advertising campaign,
however, was pure Matisse. Because,
64 years after he died, the French
artist is having a fashion moment.
The first link is colour. The Dior
clothes mingling with those Matisselike drawings include nocturnal
blues that might be seen by a diver
looking up through moonlit waters.
In another example of the Matisse
wave, the blue and pearl ovals
of Annie Costello Brown’s Skye
Earrings resemble the night sky. All
these aqua hues echo one of the
most intense masterpieces of poetic
colour that Matisse ever painted, his
1913 canvas The Blue Window.
The depths of colour into which
Matisse can dive are, in fact, related
to his own interest in fashion and
fabrics. Born in 1869 in Picardy,
northern France, where traditions of
powerfully coloured textile weaving
go back to the middle ages, he
collected brightly coloured rugs and
hangings all his life.
Matisse enjoyed fashion, so why
shouldn’t fashion enjoy Matisse?
Yet the vogue is not so much about
copying his culottes as putting on
his masks. All these moon-faced
earrings and floor drawings of
haughtily gorgeous people are
descended from the way Matisse
reinvented the human face when
he painted a portrait of his wife,
Amélie, in 1913.
He drew faces with a freedom that
is itself part of the new Matisse mood.
Why not fill space with lines thatt
d in
mean something, as Matisse did
s? At
his idyllic drawings and cut-outs?
the Oscars, veteran film-maker James
ce of
Ivory sported a shirt with the face
Timothée Chalamet, star of his film
Call Me By Your Name, portrayed
on it, with Matisse-like sensuality,
by the British artist Andrew
Mania. That same romanticism
wafts through the hints and
echoes of Matisse that are drifting
through the fashion world.
Jonathan Jones
Matisse in 1930
I didn’t just go to a movie the other
night, I was “in the movie”. That’s
what maker of cinema technology
4DX claims happened, at least. If
Imax and 3D were the beginning of
a new multiplex arms race, 4DX is
the nuclear option. What that means
in practice is a more rollercoaster
type of cinema experience: the seats
move in all directions, fans blow
wind through the auditorium, there
are water sprays, scented air, smoke,
strobes, snow effects and more.
Developed in South Korea, 4DX has
been gradually rolling out around the
world. Now the Cineworld chain has
opened a 136-seat 4DX auditorium in
Leicester Square, central London.
Needless to say, the treatment
favours a certain type of film. At
my screening, it’s Rampage, in
which Dwayne Johnson and a giant
white gorilla save humanity from
skyscraper-toppling monsters.
Rampage is not a subtle movie
to begin with, but 4DX heightens
every jump, jolt, bang and wallop
to cartoonish proportions.
Accompanying an airborne mission,
our seats judder along with the
motion, compounded by the bowelshaking roars of the giant wolf trying
to bite it out of the air. What’s this?
We’re landing near a river? Cue giant
blasts of cold air and sprays of water
(from nozzles on the seat in front).
To be honest, rather than putting
me “in the movie”, 4DX often threw
me out of it. It’s more ghost train
than flight simulator. The red velvet
chairs regularly erupt into a frenzy
of shudders, which make it harder
to focus on the screen. If you’re in
the mood, it’s a novel thrill-ride; if
you’re not, it’s like being assaulted
by your own cinema seat.
4DX may not be the future of
cinema, but could be seen as a sign of
cinema worrying about its future. In
the same way that 3D and widescreen
formats such as Cinemascope were
partly a response to the threat of
television in the 1950s, so the rise
of quality TV has pushed movies
towards the big-budget, specialeffects end of the market. This is of
course where they started: cinema
began as a fairground attraction;
it was only later it came to be
d an art form.
Steve Rose
A self-care app
that helps you
Shine each day
Authorities in
Daye, a city in
the Chinese
province of
Hubei, are
trying a novel
way to stop
A pedestrian
crossing has
been installed
with sensors
that identify
movement off
the kerb and
spray people’s
feet with water
if they cross
while the
pedestrian light
is red. Walk
on by!
For all the things that the millennial
generation struggle with (buying
a house, cultivating a career), selfcare seems to be one area where
they flourish. So much so that it
is said to be a multibillion-dollar
industry, and whatever your selfcare needs, Shine may be the app
you have been waiting for. Along
with $5m (£3.5m) of investment,
the startup has picked up more than
two million users in two years, with
people tuning in for affirmations,
meditations and salutations.
Its primary focus is a chatbot
that dishes out life advice in text
messages and offers guided audio
therapies and blog content. The
app has been used in 189 countries,
despite the fact that it is only in
English. As a millennial snowflake,
I tried it for a week to see if it could
help me “thrive”, as it claimed.
Its daily messages in the form of
affirmations (“Your pace wins your
race”) come in the morning, asking
you to consider how you are feeling.
Depending on your answers, Shine
will direct you to an affirmation or
blogpost, such as “Find your flow”
or “Hustle more mindfully”.
Then there are its five-minute
audio guides that offer positive
reinforcement through the day.
For more specific situations, there
are longer ones, with affirmations
such as “I am the CEO of my
thoughts” and “How to stay woke
and well”.
If that is not enough, there are
seven-day challenges, with one
podcast each day to help you be
productive or feel more fulfilled.
All are set to ambient, hypnotic
music, and require some element of
breathing exercise. The podcasts are
presented by people with job titles
such as “emotional wellness coach”
and “self-helpery nerd”. Though it
can feel nauseatingly upbeat, the
app has managed to perfect the
supportive friend tone.
Using Shine felt like having a
life coach in my pocket. Leaving
scepticism aside, and accepting that
some of its content is repetitive, it
shows how automating therapies
could help people – for the price of a
monthly Netflix subscription.
Sabrina Faramarzi
I just threw the weirdest
party I’m ever likely to attend
Why keep quiet about
David Copperfield’s
magic secrets?
Last week, I had a break-up ceremony, involving my (now former) partner
of six years and 30 of our family and friends. We devised it together as a sort
of anti-wedding to separate us gracefully, wanting different things from
the future. The language around people “breaking up” or being “dumped”
is violent and unilateral, which hadn’t been our experience. We wanted
to honour what had been, transition into a “just friends” relationship and
convince people that it wasn’t weird.
The latter was the biggest ask.
“Break-up ceremony – what white
nonsense is this?” asked my friend
Charlie, who is white. Still, Jack
White and Karen Elson had a joint
party to celebrate their divorce, and
that’s not the worst company.
It wasn’t all plain sailing. One
guest sliced themselves open
cutting a baguette, dripping blood
all over the floor and into the
hummus. I chose not to interpret
Jack White and
this metaphorically. Another
Karen Elson …
dissolute acquaintance woke up on
had a divorce party
a stranger’s sofa in north London
40 minutes before the event and barrelled in last minute, reeking of vodka
and apology. There was consternation halfway through the ceremony when
a courier arrived, to deliver a kilo of penny sweets I had ordered on Amazon
Prime. (The delivery turnover time was shorter than I had anticipated. Too
short, really.)
That’s before you get to all the crying. My ex and I broke up last year,
but gave ourselves a lot of breathing space before this. Living alone, my
stupid heart had been snagging on items of hers and breaking all over again,
like stitches that won’t heal. There was sadness for our families, too, over
a future that was, then wasn’t. So often, our losses are less witnessed than
our gains, and we are left alone to cope. We both spoke a highlight reel of
the good times and apologised for the hurts that we caused. We forgave
the other; wished them every happiness to come. Mutual friends vowed to
support us in our individual lives – none of this “pick a team” stuff. There
was a ceremonial untwining of a braid, the separate strings of which we wore
as bracelets. (Sadly, a few days later I burned mine, as well as my eyelashes
and head hair, in a propane backdraught. But, again, I chose not to interpret
this metaphorically.)
And there wasn’t only sadness. It was an unexpectedly, unbelievably
hot day, the first day of spring and Bengali new year. People generally
accepted the day wasn’t weird – in fact, through blood, sweat and tears, it
was incredibly healing. In an alienated, technological time, it feels important
to hang on to the ones who really see us. The often-scorned notion of being
“friends with your ex” isn’t always possible or advisable. But it’s a rich,
unique connection. For those going through something similar, where
pardon is at all possible and affection beats in any form, I’d urge you to try.
The day after the event, I noticed someone had watered the neglected basil
plant on the windowsill; I think I know who. What had been dying already
showed new green and perfume. I’m choosing to interpret it metaphorically.
Of course, the big news is that Kanye
West has been writing a philosophy
book “in real time”, on Twitter, but
it was another story that grabbed me
last week. A lawsuit against David
Copperfield has revealed the secret
behind one of his most famous
tricks, in which he vanishes a dozen
audience members behind a curtain.
(Spoiler alert: do not read on if you
don’t want to know the secrets of
David Copperfield.) I can, nonexclusively, reveal that Uriah Heep’s
scheming ways decimate the fortune
of great-aunt Betsey Trotwood.
Hang on, I’m thinking of the wrong
David Copperfield.
The illusionist’s (retired)
signature trick involves Las Vegas
audience members being hurried
“around corners, outdoors, indoors
and through an MGM Grand resort
kitchen” by stagehands holding
torches, before being reintroduced
at the back of the theatre. It’s banal
and annoying for the chefs. But
there’s a startling implication: tens
of thousands of random audience
members have kept Copperfield’s
secret, for 20 years. Why?
I was once pulled on to the stage
by a club hypnotist, who asked me
to impersonate Michael Jackson (not
the former Channel 4 executive)
and seduce a chair. I did, despite
being less hypnotised than a cat
staring at a packet of Dreamies.
I didn’t want to ruin the show.
Magicians are socially awkward
malcontents, but there’s something
about the possibility of magic that
audiences feel a responsibility to
keep open. It’s a stand-in for the
greater mysteries we intuit. We
keep their secrets because we need
to believe there are more things in
heaven and earth (and MGM Grand
kitchens) than are dreamed of in our
philosophies. Unless the philosophy
is written by Kanye: that stuff is
copper-bottomed madness.
The Elon Musk school of office etiquette
Speaking of philosophy, the billionaire Elon Musk’s leaked
productivity advice to Tesla employees is the purest I have ever
encountered. A scattergun of kamikaze rudeness, his tips include
walking out of bad meetings, ignoring bosses, and the best, to
“drop off a call as soon as it is obvious you aren’t adding value”.
Strange how Musk’s advice on being work-efficient coincides
exactly with my instinct to lose every job I’ve ever had. I have
never added value to a phone call in my life. I’ve been doing
this stuff for years and still await my billions. Where are my
billions, Musk?
man of (little)
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
Cigarettes were once an integral
part of a night out – then we all
gave up. With young people
eschewing booze, a similar trend
could now be unfolding
Will drinking soon be as
taboo as smoking?
➺ Words Hannah Jane Parkinson
cool glass of
sauvignon canalsid
de iin
n the summer
m .
A soothing beerr by
b a pub fire as the
leaves turn
urn red. Mulled wine with a
Christmas mince pie. Alcohol is shot
through British life like, well, shots
on a night out. But recent trends
suggest that might be changing.
Could the British love of booze be
drying up as surely as our passion
for cigarettes?
Consider this: in 1974, half of
British adults smoked; by 2017,
that figure had fallen to just 16%,
according to the Office for National
Statistics (ONS). The decline was a
result both of public health campaigns
and legislation encouraging people
to cut back or stop smoking. In 2003,
for instance, the branding of
cigarettes as “light” was banned in the
UK. That same year, EU legislation
brought in health warnings on
products, and in March 2006 Scotland
became the first country in the UK to
introduce a smoke-free law. This was
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
followed in 2007 by legislation
banning smoking in workplaces and
enclosed public spaces in England
(Wales and Northern Ireland also
legislated against smoking that year).
The result was immediate: fag
breaks at work were suddenly more
frowned upon; the huddle of people
outside the pub failing to light a
cigarette in the rain came to seem
pitiful. All the incremental changes –
the health warnings, legislation, the
images of diseased lungs on fag
packets, the association with
impotence – led to a genuine cultural
shift. If you wanted to keep smoking,
you had to be really committed
(addicted, maybe?). Social and
fairweather smokers dropped away.
Could the same trend be under
way with our attitude to alcohol?
Some experts believe so. It will be a
huge shift, because drinking in the UK
has a spirited history, stretching back
thousands of years – jugs for
fermenting alcohol go back to the
stone age, past Hogarth’s Gin Lane in
the 1700s through to the peak
modern drinking period of the 90s
and early 00s. This was the Britpop
era: a wasted Jarvis Cocker mooning
at Michael Jackson at the Brit awards
in 1996 and the hideous proliferation
of garish alcopops with brand names
with no vowels. That period also
saw a breakdown in the social taboos
around women’s drinking that led
to an explosion of alcohol being
marketed to them. Witness the
birth of the ladette and girlfriends
drinking boyfriends under the table.
Witness a massive overall rise in
As a society, we have always
thought of drinking as a bit naughty.
The language we use is telling. A
“cheeky pint” after work; a “swift
half”; “OK, but just one glass of
merlot”. Everyone has feigned
resistance at one time or another –
but we don’t try very hard. And in
recent decades, anyone who didn’t
want to drink was considered an
anomaly. You driving? You sick? You
on antibiotics? You pregnant? You,
you know … (whisper it) in recovery?
An answer of none of the above would
elicit raised eyebrows, a puzzled
expression or, more likely, mirth.
Possibly even anger or dislike. In
years past, people who have chosen
sobriety, or rarely had a drink, have
been subject to intense peer pressure.
Nondrinkers became isolated – not
out of preference, but because British
social life has been entirely organised
around alcohol. Booze sat at the
head of the table at dinner parties,
dominated the dancefloor and
landed deals at lunch meetings.
But over the past decade, that
culture has shifted. It has certainly
been difficult to avoid the news that
alcohol isn’t good for you. The most
recent reminder came last week, care
of a Lancet paper, reporting that every
glass of wine or pint of beer over the
daily recommended limit will cut
half an hour from the expected
lifespan of a 40-year-old. And that
recommended upper safe limit is
lower than you might expect. The
paper suggested five 175ml glasses
of wine or five pints a week – about
12.5 units in total. Overdo it, and
you are at greater risk of stroke,
Good health:
a quarter of 16to 24-year olds
are now teetotal
fatal aneurysm, heart failure and
early death.
Then there’s the cancer risk. There
was consternation in 2016 when Prof
Dame Sally Davies, the government’s
chief medical officer, told MPs just
one glass of wine could increase the
risk of breast cancer. This came just a
few weeks after the recommended
upper safe limit for men was revised
down from 21 to 14 units a week, the
same as for women.
The quality newspapers interview
health experts and sociologists about
the problems with alcohol; the
popular press shames indulgent
punters (usually northern, often
women) on dark high streets. And
there have been all sorts of campaigns
designed to curb our enthusiasm for
drinking. There’s the Department of
Transport’s road-safety Think!
campaign, for instance, much of
which has focused on drink driving.
In 2012, the Department for Health
rolled out the Change4Life
campaign, while Challenge 25,
introduced in 2005 by the British Beer
and Pub Association, encourages
people who may look under 25 to
carry ID when attempting to purchase
alcohol, and encourages retailers to
ask for it. This has made it harder for
teenagers to bulk buy supermarketown tinnies. (Attempting to enter
licensed premises to buy alcohol
using a fake ID is a criminal offence,
carrying a maximum £5,000 fine and
up to 10 years imprisonment.)
All of this legislation, campaigning
and awareness raising has had an
impact, just as they did on tobacco
consumption. In particular, millennials
(those born between 1981 and 1996)
and the later Generation Z (those born
after 1996), are surprisingly sober.
“Alcohol is a strange concept,”
says Ben Gartside, 19, a politics
student at Hull University who is
originally from Manchester. “Here’s
a liquid you can drink and it can lead
to you not remembering the night
before and making bad decisions.”
Ben is typical of many young people
I speak to, in that he prefers to spend
his money on food and travel rather
than pub sessions.
Another young person I speak to
says his family are heavy drinkers
and he wanted to avoid falling into
that pattern. In a broader sense, says
Dr James Nicholls, director of
research and policy development at
Alcohol Research UK, this is
The legislation
and campaigning
has had an impact,
just as they
did on tobacco
common among young people; they
are rebelling against older
generations’ chosen methods of
rebellion. According to a 2017 ONS
study, more than a quarter of 16- to
24-year-olds are teetotal, a four-fold
increase on the rest of the
population, with just one in 10 seeing
drinking as “cool”. Nicholls says that
drinking among young people has
been declining for a decade.
The millennials and Gen Zers I spoke
to cited various reasons for their
sobriety; one of the most recurrent
was that between university tuition
fees, the axing of maintenance grants
and the sixth form EMA grant, and
the perilously high cost of housing,
they are pretty much broke. But they
also have concerns for their mental
and physical health. Lauren Clapp, 23,
says booze made her chronic fatigue
syndrome worse. There is also a case
to be made that young people, who
suffer disproportionately with mental
health issues (a third of 16- to 24-yearolds have experienced a mental health
issue in the past 12 months, according
to one survey), are more open to talk
and seek support, relying less on
substances as an emotional crutch.
But not everyone is laying off. There
are plenty of people who hold out for
those articles proposing that red wine
is good for blood pressure and cling to
the glamorous champagne habits of
celebrities. Drinking among the
middle-aged middle classes has not
declined. In fact, while some of them
might feel smug to have left their
binge-drinking pasts behind, their
regular daily consumption might be
doing more damage to their bodies,
not less. In 2015, Age Concern found
that higher-income groups are
“endangering” their health with
their drinking habits. Figures show
that mortality rates due to alcohol,
among people aged 75 and over,
have risen to their highest level
since records began in 1991.
In fact, alcohol consumption is
rising among the over-50s. This is a
looming crisis for the NHS, health
experts warn, as alcohol contributes
to diseases such as Alzheimer’s, as
well as a litany of cancers.
But the fact is that those who are
currently middle-aged may prove
to be the last generation who of
boozehounds. Just as young people
are changing the worlds of politics,
technology and environmentalism, it
is possible that this shift in the British
attitude to alcohol will last the
course. And further legislation and
awareness is planned for the future.
Next month, minimum alcohol unit
pricing comes into force in Scotland.
We are not alone in this cultural
shift. While many countries,
particularly our European cousins,
have long had a mature attitude to
drinking, Nicholls says that declining
interest in alcohol, especially
among young people, is a worldwide
trend. This is true even of countries
that used to be big on the booze,
such as Russia.
We don’t know for sure, of course,
that Britain will become a dry land
in years to come – alcohol trends
peak and trough, but it has never
looked more likely than it does now.
Drinks on me, then – it’s going to be
a cheap round.
Reply all
Private lives
I met a guy on Tinder who lives about two hours
away. I’m 24 and he’s 38 and we hit it off immediately.
I don’t have family and am struggling to follow my
dreams. He has asked me to work for him and to live
in one of his properties rent-free. What’s the catch?
Whenever he wants it, I need to be available. He is
married, with kids and a wife who doesn’t have sex
with him and whom he wants to divorce. I feel
conflicted; I can save money and pay off debts.
He has already bought my plane ticket to relocate.
I feel guilty, but can I pass up this opportunity?
Vulnerability can make you fearful
I had a similar dilemma a few years
ago, struggling financially and being
offered security in return for loyalty.
I am in a far happier place now than
I could ever have imagined at the
time. But, for me, the solution was
to take responsibility for my own
decisions rather than be beholden to
another person. Being vulnerable
made me full of fear, which I see now
in hindsight almost led me to
making decisions that would have
changed the direction of my life for
ever. Today, I am proud of finding
the strength to have removed myself
from someone who would have
taken advantage of my vulnerability.
Everyone’s circumstances are
different, but if you are feeling
mentally cornered, try to reach out
to a support group and you will
discover that there are many other
paths in life.
This will not advance your life
This isn’t an opportunity, it’s
entering inside a gilded cage too
blinded by the sheen of it all to
realise it’s a trap until it’s too late.
This won’t advance your life. It will
just keep you in a cul de sac of power
imbalance until your use for this
man is gone. Then he can cast you
out with nothing to show for your
time except the bewilderment of
being used. I put myself through uni
and my move to a bigger city for my
career with actual prostitution and it
had freedoms through being a
business transaction that this
scenario does not. This man wants
you to exchange yourself and
freedoms for his promises without
even attempting to disguise his
nefarious purposes with a job
description or a better line than not
sleeping with his wife. Remember
this: if he can afford to hire you and
pay your living circumstances, he
can afford to get a divorce. You are
just a pawn to this man and to give
him unlimited power over you will
not end well.
He’s asking you to be his prostitute
Please don’t fall for this. He has no
intention of divorcing his wife and of
course they have sex. You’re being
asked to be his personal prostitute.
Even if it were all true, would you be
happy to contribute to the breakup
of a family? Would you like this done
to you? Think very carefully.
Why has he not left his wife?
I would not take this opportunity.
The fact it is a plane ride away makes
me very cautious – if you got into a
situation where you felt unsafe, you
would be far from support or help.
As for the offer, that rings alarm
bells, too. If he wanted to divorce his
wife, he would be separated from
her. He has “properties” – so a place
to move to; there should be nothing
stopping him. I wonder why that is?
You only have his word that he
doesn’t have a sexual relationship
with his wife. Lastly, there is that
offer to work for him and live rentfree. While it sounds generous, it
creates an imbalance of power in the
relationship. He may be trying to
control you so you feel indebted to
him, and it’s also then difficult to
leave him.
It sounds as if you’re being set up
He lives only two hours away but has
bought you a plane ticket to relocate?
Where? Why? How much do you
really know about what he does for a
living, apart from having several
properties? Does he know you don’t
have any family? Can you be 100%
sure that the wife and children exist?
It sounds as if you’re being set up to
become a sex worker – of the most
vulnerable sort. If you’re struggling
to achieve your dreams, go to people
who can help: a financial counsellor,
the Citizens Advice Bureau, the
Samaritans, community support
groups – goodness knows there are
enough legitimate support groups
without selling yourself to one
individual who you have known for
... how long? And who has a vested
interest (at the moment) in being
charming towards you.
Want to
share a
Or think you
have all the
answers? Email
com or write to
Private Lives,
The Guardian,
Kings Place,
90 York Way,
London N1 9GU.
are subject to
our terms and
I’m hopelessly stuck in unrequited love
I have known the love of my life for a number of years:
we met on the first day of secondary school. Nothing
has happened, I have never even kissed her. Despite not
having made an advance, I know these feelings are
unreciprocated and have tried to put them behind me.
However, I recently halted a relationship because of my
feelings towards her. Whenever I’m around her, I fall in
love again. I have an urge to express my feelings, but I’m
petrified by the thought of rejection. I feel I will never
meet someone else who could make me feel this way.
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
Seven ways to
manage hair loss
Consider prescription medications. There are two clinically
approved drugs for preventing further hair loss – finasteride
and minoxidil. Finasteride
works by inhibiting the hormone
dihydrotestosterone (DHT),
which causes the hair follicles to
shrink and eventually fall out,
while minoxidil increases blood
flow and nutrient uptake to the
follicles. Both treatments may
result in some hair regrowth as
well, but they include the risk of
side- effects. Finasteride has been
found to lead to erectile dysfunction and decreased libido in
approximately 1 in 31 men, while
minoxidil can result in skin irritation and allergic reactions.
Try scalp
Some studies have suggested
that scalp massage
has the potential to
increase hair density by improving
blood circulation to
the scalp and hair
follicles, as well as
increasing the activity of genes known
to promote hair
growth. An additional benefit is that
massage helps to
lower stress levels,
another factor relating to hair loss.
Use a
Apart from
finasteride and
minoxidil, laser
combs are the
only hair-loss
treatment to
have received
FDA approval.
(In the UK, the
medication and
the combs are
not available
on the NHS.) A
2014 study of
men with pattern hair loss
found a significant increase
in hair density
after 26 weeks
of thriceweekly use.
How the combs
work isn’t fully
but it has been
suggested that
lasers have an
effect on hair
Switch to anti-DHT
shampoos. DHT is the
main culprit in hair loss,
and some shampoos can help to
combat this. Search for products
containing 1-2% ketoconazole, a
drug that blocks the conversion
of testosterone to DHT, just as
finasteride does.
Avoid hot
Overly hot
showers can strip
the scalp of the oils
that help to protect
it, causing dryness
and inflammation.
Some believe scalp
inflammation can
result in thinning
Have a transplant. If you
already have significant
hair loss, it may be your
best bet. The process involves
taking hair follicles from the
DHT-resistant “donor” regions
of the head and grafting them
to the scalp. There are many
transplant techniques; some
allow for repeated procedures.
By David Cox
Change your
hair products.
There is some
evidence that many
gels and other
styling products
may contribute to
hair loss, preventing
hair from coming to
the surface.
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
The Goop blogpost
Paltrow and
Chris Martin’s
‘I understood
the Gwyneth
Katherine Woodward Thomas wrote the book on
‘conscious uncoupling’. She talks to Emine Saner
about the Goop founder’s blog and her own divorce
or someone who has
coached thousands of
people through their
separations, been
through a divorce
herself and written
a book on how to have a better
breakup, Katherine Woodward
Thomas still likes the idea of a
lifelong union. But, she says, it is
unrealistic. “We have to remember
that ‘happily ever after’ was a
myth created about 400 years ago,
when lifespan was less than 40 and
people were not mobile and had
very few choices in life,” she says.
“I do think that people are ready
for new alternatives. I love the idea
that when we partner we have the
intention of doing it for the long haul,
however ‘conscious uncoupling’ is
an alternative should it be clear that
you will be breaking up.”
Woodward Thomas’s term shot
to fame in 2014 when Gwyneth
Paltrow and Chris Martin used it in a
blogpost on Paltrow’s Goop website
to describe how they were handling
their separation. Woodward Thomas
had already had some success with
a previous book about how to find
a relationship, but the dissolution
of the Paltrow-Martin marriage
brought her to a wider audience.
Her book Conscious Uncoupling:
The Five Steps to Living Happily
Even After was published in 2015,
based on the breakup work she had
been doing since 2009. Woodward
Thomas, who lives in Los Angeles
– on a separate floor in the same
building as her ex-husband – has
just flown into London for a series
of talks. A psychotherapist who
has spent nearly 25 years as a
relationship coach, she is softly
spoken but with a direct gaze, given
to using words such as “alignment”
and “intentions”.
Her phrase was ridiculed at the
time for being new agey and seeming
to typify self-help language (not
to mention appearing on Paltrow’s
oft-derided site). Did that bother
her? “Well, you know, it was what it
was. I understood it. But ‘conscious
Sexual healing
expert Katherine
uncoupling’ was in the dictionary
within 24 hours of her popping
it into the lexicon as redefining
divorce in the 21st century. With
everything, there’s a positive side.”
There are several misconceptions
about it, she says – that it is only
for the elite, or that it’s Hollywood
nonsense, or that you have to have
your former spouse on board to
work through it.
Breakups, she says, are “one of
the biggest traumas we will ever go
through” and her process could be
done by anyone, including someone
still not over a heartbreak from long
ago. “It is particularly for anyone
having a hard time and in danger of
moving into a negative cycle that can
end up hurting them in the long run.”
The process comprises five
steps, and the first three include
harnessing negative emotions
(identifying, naming and coming
to accept them) and taking
responsibility for your part in the
“I like to say that even if it was
97% the other person’s fault, we
have to look at our 3%, because
in that 3% is our ability to trust
ourselves moving forward,” says
Woodward Thomas. The third step
involves identifying and breaking
patterns, “Seeing your underlying
beliefs that are getting validated in
the breakup – ‘See, I’m alone again’
or ‘I wasn’t good enough’ – and
graduating from those so you can
really create a [new] relationship in
a healthier way.
“Only step four and five are
dealing with the other person and
that’s all about how to forgive each
other, how to get clear about the
old agreements the relationship
was formed on and align on
new agreements, helping your
community understand the new
form the relationship is taking.”
Woodward Thomas came up with
the process during her own divorce.
Her previous book, Calling in the
One, was inspired by meeting her
husband, Mark Austin Thomas,
a broadcaster. “When I was 41, I
thought I probably had missed my
opportunity to get married and have
a family,” she says. But she decided
that wouldn’t happen. She told a
friend she intended to be engaged by
the time she turned 42. “From that
moment, rather than running out to
look for love, I went within to look
for all the invisible barriers that I had
built against it.”
These included identifying and
letting go of old resentments, and
even seemingly silly things such as
an “agreement” with a high school
boyfriend that they would get back
together in their 60s. Woodward
Thomas was indeed engaged by the
time she was 42, and their daughter
was born the year after they married.
So when her marriage broke down,
it was a shock, not just personally,
but also professionally. “I thought
it could be the end of my career. But
I didn’t want to stay married if it
wasn’t the right thing because I was
afraid I might lose my career.” And
the “beautiful way” they managed
‘If you have been
badly treated
you might want
to never have
anything to do with
that person again’
to handle the separation and divorce
made her think: “I could use that as
the example.”
Both Woodward Thomas and
her husband had experienced
their parents’ traumatic divorces,
and neither wanted that for their
daughter, who was 11 at the time
(she is now 17). “We aligned on an
intention together to make sure
our daughter could still have a
happy childhood,” says Woodward
Thomas. “That intention kept calling
us to rise to be the bigger person,
to take the high road at every turn.
He started a culture between us of
generosity and cooperation. When
we’re married, we understand the
need to put money in the emotional
bank account by being nice to each
other, doing thoughtful things for
each other, not badmouthing each
other, but I think when we divorce
we forget that if we have children,
we’re still going to be a family.
You have to build your new [postdivorce] family.”
But they were lucky – although
extremely painful, there had been
no infidelity, no major betrayals,
and Woodward Thomas says her
ex-husband “is a very generous
person”. Would it work for someone
whose spouse has been conducting
an affair for several years, or has
frittered away all the family savings,
for instance? “We were more
fortunate,” she acknowledges. “But
most of the people I work with are
dealing with deep betrayal, horrific
losses and damage that feels like
they’re in danger of dimming down
for the rest of their lives because
of how shattering the pain is. The
goal is to learn from the experience
and to go on and have healthier and
happier relationships.
“All breakups are a crossroads and
many people will dim down their
lives after a bad experience – I’ve
met people 20 or 30 years later who
never opened their hearts again.
We say time heals all wounds, but
it doesn’t, we really need to get in
there and shepherd this.”
It isn’t about becoming friends
with your former partner if you don’t
want to be, she says. “If you have
been badly treated you might want
to never have anything to do with
that person again, but you don’t
want to internalise your hatred of
them.” She isn’t “best friends” with
her former husband, although they
live in the same apartment building
and are equal parents. She describes
him as more like family.
“Conscious uncoupling is a thing
we aspire to. I haven’t met one
person who has done it perfectly,
myself included. It’s a roadmap and
gives you the tools to navigate your
way there.”
Pamela Stephenson
I have never suggested
it, but my partner
wants me to have sex
with other men
My partner of seven years would
like me to go out and have sex
with other men. He would also
like, occasionally, to be involved
himself. He seems to think that
I want this myself, and that it will
make me happy, but I have never
suggested nor wanted it. He
says he wants me to do whatever
I like as long as I come back to him,
and never leave him. To be honest,
I just find it all very strange.
There are various possible reasons
for your partner’s requests. For
example, he may be feeling that
your sex life together needs a
boost but does not know how to
implement this – or even how to start
an appropriate conversation about
it. Or he may have reached a point
in his life where he feels he needs
to explore his own sexuality in
a new direction. But considering
his expressed fear of abandonment,
it is also possible that he may be
experiencing a crisis of confidence
about his own ability to continue
pleasing you himself, and is
offering what he thinks are
viable options.
Communicate your concerns
about this to him in a gentle
and reassuring manner. Use
a nonthreatening questioning
style such as “Please would you
help me to understand your desire
to open our relationship?” and
“What would make our own
lovemaking more exciting for you?”
It is not unusual for a person to be
excited by the thought of his
partner being sexual with another
man; in fact, it may reflect a wish
to reclaim earlier feelings of
attraction for you – an erotic
charge possibly sparked by a
rival’s challenge.
Write to us
Send us your
own problem for
Sexual Healing
by emailing
com or writing
to Private Lives,
The Guardian,
Kings Place,
90 York Way,
London N1 9GU.
are subject to
our terms and
Pamela Stephenson Connolly is
a US-based psychotherapist who
alises in treating sexual
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
A violent childhood, an extraordinary betrayal and
losing her voice for 15 years – Shania Twain is pop’s
great survivor. Simon Hattenstone meets her
scars I have,
I’ve earned’
hania Twain was
at the peak of her powers when she
lost her voice. We are not talking a
couple of cancelled concerts or a
few weeks on the throat lozenges.
Twain was out of action for 15 years.
“I never thought I’d sing again,”
she says quietly. It is only six weeks
since she had laryngoplasty, an
operation to reconstruct the vocal
box. A two-inch horizontal scar is
stripped across her neck.
Actually, she says, she was lucky.
Her vocal cord paralysis was a
result of being bitten by a tick and
contracting Lyme disease. “Lyme
disease can be so much more
devastating. It can go to your brain.”
It is hard to conceive just how
huge the country-pop star was when
disaster struck. She was one of the
first “crossover” stars, combining
country music with pop and rock.
Without Shania Twain, there might
well have been no Taylor Swift. She
made three monster-selling albums
with the help of her husband and
music partner, producer and writer
Robert “Mutt” Lange. Come on Over,
which has sold 40m copies, is the
bestselling album by a female artist.
Lange, who had worked with
bands including AC/DC and Def
Leppard, helped reinvent Twain.
She lay down her acoustic guitar and
put on heels, lippy and thigh-length
boots. Twain was sexy, empowering
and funny. This was a woman who
knew what she wanted – men,
action, dancing, control. As she sang
on Man! I Feel Like a Woman!, the
best thing about being a woman was
the prerogative to have a little fun. In
the video for That Don’t Impress Me
Much, she is stranded in the Mojave
desert, dressed from head to toe in
leopard-print, rejecting rides from
any number of narcissistic hotties.
Twain was all things to all people
– country star, pop star, rocker,
sentimentalist. She was fancied by
straight boys, admired by straight
girls, adored by gay men as a camp
icon and loved by lesbians who read
what they wanted into Man! I Feel
Like a Woman!.
Then came what Twain calls “the
madness”, which was by no means
restricted to the Lyme disease and
voice loss. Twain and Lange had a
son, Eja (pronounced Asia), in 2001,
and she planned herself some family
time. “I did want a break. But, of
course, I would have never stayed
away 15 years.” She smiles. “I was too
embarrassed to tell anybody that I
couldn’t sing. For a long time, I didn’t
even know why I couldn’t sing.”
For years, we heard nothing.
Then, in 2008, Twain announced
that she and Lange were separating.
Their eventual divorce was not only
the end of a marriage, it was also the
end of one of the most successful
and lucrative relationships in music.
She is worth about $350m (£250m).
It emerged that Lange was having
an affair with their PA, Twain’s
close friend Marie-Anne Thiébaud,
who lived half a mile away in
the same Swiss town, Corseaux,
overlooking Lake Geneva. But even
that was not the headline news.
Twain announced that she had got
together with Thiébaud’s husband,
Frédéric. For a while, she retreated
back into silence. She still could not
sing. There looked to be no chance
of her resurrecting her career.
Then, in June 2011, Twain
announced a two-year residency at
Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. She had
not performed live since July 2004.
After this lucrative run – which
began in December 2012 and brought
in $43m – she went into the studio
and recorded Now, an album of selfpenned songs, which was released
last year. They might not have the
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
By the age
of eight, she
was singing in
bars to pay the
family bills
hooks of her best work with Lange,
but they provide a fascinating
insight into her life. The lyrics are as
personal as they get – from the shock
of being deserted to the anger she
feels towards her former friend.
You do not hold back, I say. She
laughs and suggests I do not know
the half of it. In fact, there were
songs she wrote that were so vitriolic
they could not go on the album.
“If I’m really angry, I’ll say ‘fuck’ a
lot. And, if I’m writing, that word will
be in every line. There was one song
I wrote about my cheating friend
and there was a lot of fucks in there.
I hated her, so that’s the best word
to use when you hate somebody.”
In the flesh, there is something
so wholesome and mumsy about
Twain that it comes as a shock
when she swears. She is small and
strikingly pretty. Today, she is an
unlikely mix of dress-down casual
and showbiz glam – black tracksuit
bottoms, a black-and-white striped
sweatshirt, trainers, false eyelashes
with which you could sweep the
floor and a huge diamond knuckleduster on her wedding finger.
We meet in a Los Angeles hotel.
The room is empty, but for three
Brobdignagian bouquets of white
roses. She tells me how much she
loves roses, then returns to the
subject uppermost in her mind.
“‘Cunt’ is good, too. My friend
said: ‘Say: “She’s a fucking cunt”’.
That felt good to say. Those words
were cathartic.” She says it almost
beatifically, as if reciting the rosary.
wain went
through a terrible low after the
breakup. She had always been a
private person, but in 2011 she wrote
a memoir, From This Moment On,
in which she admitted that there
had been times when she wanted
to die. It was part confessional, part
warning, part self-help manual
for people going through similar
crises. “That’s right,” she says
enthusiastically. “Beware! Or, if
it has happened to you, you’re
not alone. Why do you have AA
meetings? So people can get to
the point where they can even
get up there and say: ‘This is what
happened to me and this is where
it’s brought me in my life.’ And they
start feeling lighter and better.”
She says two things saved her.
First, there was Eja. She could
not afford to go under, because
he needed her. Second, she
revisited her past; it helped to
put everything in context.
To say Twain had a traumatic
childhood is an understatement.
She grew up in Ontario, Canada,
and never knew her biological
father. Her mother, Sharon, had
depression; her stepfather, Jerry,
was an Ojibwa Native American,
much discriminated against,
alcoholic, violent and mentally ill.
“A third of my relatives were suicide
Twain with
Robert ‘Mutt’
Lange, her
deaths at young ages – that’s not an
exaggeration. A number of them
died prematurely just from neglect
and alcohol abuse.”
She was christened Eilleen
Regina Edwards, which became
Twain when her mother married
Jerry. Sharon brought up three
daughters from her first marriage
and a son she had with Jerry, as well
as Jerry’s nephew, after his sister
died. There was little work around,
no money and a lot of violence.
“I was worried about my father
killing my mother.” She starts again.
“I thought they’d kill each other.
My mom was quite violent, too.
Many nights I went to bed thinking:
‘Don’t go to sleep, don’t go to sleep,
wait till they are sleeping.’ And
I would wake up and make sure
everybody was breathing.”
In her memoir, she describes an
occasion when Jerry beat Sharon
unconscious, then repeatedly
plunged her head in the toilet. Twain
grabbed a chair and smashed it across
his back. He punched her in the jaw;
she punched him back. Twain was 11.
Her father often abused her.
“Physically and psychologically,”
she says. She stutters to a stop.
Did he sexually abuse her? “Oh yes,
sexually,” she mutters. “Uh huh, uh
huh. I’m not going to go into details
about it. I don’t mind saying it,
because I do think it’s important that
people understand you can survive
these things.” She did not mention
the sexual abuse in her book.
How old were you when he
started abusing you? “Around the
age of 10. I feel the sexual abuse
goes hand in hand with the physical
and psychological abuse when it’s
somebody you know. I learned
to block it out. Abusers need to
manipulate you, whether it’s before
or after, and what I said to myself is:
‘OK, there’s something wrong with
this person and that person is not
well.’” She pauses. “I did feel sorry for
myself a lot as a kid. It was either go
to Children’s Aid and get saved now
or ... I weighed it up and thought:
‘If I go to Children’s Aid, we’ll all get
separated,’ and I just couldn’t bear
that, so we all stayed together for
better or for worse.” Staying together
is a recurring theme for Twain.
She started writing songs as a
young girl. Did she want to be a
star? “No, I wanted to escape.”
From what? “Everything. Violent
home. Tensions. Nothing to eat.
(Left) with
her husband,
in 1999
Did she want
to be a star?
‘No, I wanted to
escape. From
When you’re hungy you can’t
do anything about it but distract
yourself from the hunger. And it
really works. It’s therapeutic.”
By the age of eight, she was singing
in bars to pay the family bills. After
graduating from school in 1983, she
went to Nashville to sing country. She
was on the verge of a breakthrough
in 1987 when she received terrible
news. Jerry and her mother had
been killed in a car crash. Despite
everything, she loved them and she
was devastated. She moved back
home to become a surrogate mother
to her four siblings, supporting them
by singing at a local resort.
After the split from Lange, she
began to think more about her
parents’ death. “I started peeling
back the layers of pain I was in and all
the other griefs and disappointments
and challenges came to the surface.
And I thought: ‘I’ve been through
worse and it’s time to put it all into
perspective.’ When my parents
died, I experienced a much deeper
grief than even the betrayal. When
you add shock to grief, it does
crazy things to your mind.”
Looking after the family took
six years out of her life. In 1993, she
was finally signed to a record label
and changed her name to Shania,
which she says is an Ojibwa word for
“on my way”. After one album, she
hooked up with Lange and found
global fame.
I ask whether she thinks of
herself today as Eilleen or Shania.
“Both. But when I speak to myself
I say Eilleen: ‘Come on, Eilleen!’”
Eilleen seems very different from
Shania, I say. Twain concedes
there is a difference. Eilleen was a
tomboy; possibly still is. She did
not wear heels until she was in her
20s and she used to strap down
her boobs so nobody would notice
them. Is Eilleen as confident with
men as Shania? “I was always very
agreeable, always out to please my
partner.” See, I say, Shania would be
the one demanding to be pleased –
she would wag her finger and say:
“That don’t impress me much!”
She laughs and agrees. “I’m a quiet
person. I do like solitude.”
Was she worried that she would
lose her creative edge without
Lange? “I was. I was petrified of
giving in this album. I wasn’t afraid
of writing, but I was scared of
sharing the songs with anybody.”
Marie-Anne was pregnant at
the same time as Twain. These days,
the two children move between
homes. Incredibly, despite the fact
they live only half a mile apart,
Twain says she has never run into
her former friend. “She’s the last
person on the planet I want to run
into. Ever.” Why did she not think
of moving? “I just wasn’t going to
be pushed out. This is my home,
this is my child’s birthplace and
I’m not going anywhere.”
Her antipathy towards her
former friend is intensified by the
fact that she confided in her when
she thought Lange was having an
affair and was told she was being
delusional. “I do really nasty things
in my dreams to her,” she says with
relish. “I’m always cutting her hair
or shaving it off.”
She and Frédéric – Freddy – got
together gradually, initially just as
friends comforting each
other; it was he who told
her about the affair. She
says it was more obvious
to the children than to
her that they were falling
in love. Is this a different
kind of love from the one
she had with Lange? “Yes,
it’s a passionate love on
every level. I used to be
very monotone in my
relationships.” This time
round, she has lost all her
passivity, she says. “Poor
Freddy pays the price,
because I’m like: If I’m
ever getting married again,
this is me. I don’t think
Mutt ever knew me.”
Does she think she
and Frédéric have come
out better from this than
Lange and Marie-Anne?
“Absolutely. We are
happier individuals, even
without each other. We
are way more confident
in our own selves.”
I tell Twain that I feel bad naming
her former friend in front of her.
“Don’t say the name; you can say
‘cunt’.” She roars with laughter,
then tells herself off. “That is so
disrespectful! I’m having a laugh.”
Twain, now 52, is surprising
in so many ways – the quietness,
the intensity, the mumsiness, the
openness, the profanity. But she is
not done just yet. If she could have
her time over again, I ask, would she
choose what she has now? “I would
never choose for my son’s family
to be broken,” she says instantly.
“I would be one of those people
who would keep my marriage
together for my child ... I tried to
keep Mutt.” She says it goes back
to her own childhood. “Look at my
situation. My parents could have
killed each other. Maybe we would
have been better off in foster homes,
but I decided not to turn my family
in, many times. There is something
in me that says a family should
stay together.”
It is not the only way in which
she expresses her conservatism. If
she had been able to vote in the US
election, she would have plumped
for Donald Trump, she says. “Even
though he was offensive, he seemed
honest. Do you want straight or
polite? Not that you shouldn’t be
able to have both. I just don’t want
bullshit. I would have voted for
a feeling that it was transparent.
And politics has a reputation of
not being that, right?”
That is more than enough talking
for one day. She has to rest her throat
for the upcoming Now tour. The
funny thing is, she says she did not
enjoy it when the world went Shania
crazy all those years ago – it was all
work and no life. Now, she may not
be in such demand, but she is at ease
with herself. She points to the scar
on her neck. “It’s supposed to go
away. But if it stays I don’t care. This
is the difference. Whatever scars
I have, I’ve earned.” She slides her
finger across it. “I’m comfortable
in my own skin.”
Shania Twain’s UK and Ireland tour
runs from 19 September to 3 October
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
In demand …
Beatriz Milhazes’
Sonho Tropical, left;
a sociable hammock
Tate Liverpool
Live parrots, rainbow hammocks, exploding bricks …
Britain is on the verge of a Brazilian art invasion
– and it all started with a wartime gift for embattled
airmen, writes Claire Armitstead
UK solo debut …
Paulo Bruscky’s
Letters Held
by Left Hand
Unnoticed …
Postcard, 1929, by
Tarsila do Amaral
n the autumn of 1943, the
Brazilian art world decided
it wanted to do something
to cheer up wartime Britain
and raise money for its
embattled airmen. Seventy
artists – including several stars of
the country’s emerging art scene –
clubbed together and 168 pictures
were sent to the UK for exhibition
and sale.
“As artists,” they wrote, “this was
the best way we could find to express
to the English our admiration and
solidarity.” Britain’s ambassador
in Rio de Janeiro wrote to foreign
secretary Anthony Eden, asking for
£25 to cover transport costs, pointing
out that the Brazilians had framed
the paintings themselves so “that we
should be spared the difficulties [of
doing so] in wartime”.
The pictures were duly shipped,
but it took some high-level armtwisting to persuade the Royal
Academy to exhibit them. “It is
amusing to read that the RA turned
us down on the grounds that they
didn’t like the pictures!” wrote one
exasperated British Council staffer.
“Neither do we: but that was not the
The show finally opened in
November 1944, and went on to tour
the country – though not without
some eye-popping condescension,
even from the critic who wrote the
catalogue prologue. Sacheverell
Sitwell drew parallels between VillaLobos, “who has written too much
music”, and Diego Rivera, “who has
over-painted”. He loftily concluded:
“The progress of painting has been
fast on this prolific soil, so fast that
we may hope it will become slower
and more serious.”
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
So blinkered was the British art
establishment about the potential
value of any of the works that all
but 25 of them left the country.
Those that remained were doled
out to 20 galleries around the UK,
from Glasgow to Plymouth. They
have had a sad afterlife, languishing
unseen in storage – until this month,
when a feat of sleuthing by an
energetic Brazilian Embassy cultural
attache has reunited all but one for
an exhibition, The Art of Diplomacy,
in London.
This reminder of a time when
Europeans had no idea what to make
of Latin American art comes just as
Brazil’s artists appear to be in higher
demand internationally than ever.
London alone will showcase three
of them this summer, with Beatriz
Milhazes at White Cube Bermondsey,
Luiz Zerbini at the South London
Gallery and Paulo Bruscky at the
Richard Saltoun Gallery.
Zerbini and Bruscky are making
their UK solo debuts, as are the
collective OPAVIVARÁ! who will
invite visitors to sip herbal tea and
swing in a giant rainbow hammock
at Tate Liverpool. Meanwhile,
Cinthia Marcelle – whose installation
The Family in Disorder is at Modern
Art Oxford – offsets OPAPIVARÁ!’s
politics of community with a vision
of order and chaos: humble building
materials such as bricks, planks and
paper are neatly stacked in one room
and exploded in another, as if they
were destroyed by riots or bulldozed
by city planners.
In the US, New York’s Whitney
Museum recently staged a major
touring retrospective of the neoconcretist Hélio Oiticica, while the
city’s Museum of Modern Art has
Safely ashore …
Oscar Meira’s
Sailor landed
in Doncaster
A war gift that
Britain kept …
Portrait of a
Young Man, 1943
by Roberto Burle-Marx
‘It is amusing
that the RA didn’t
like the pictures!
Neither did we,
but that wasn’t
the point’
just opened a retrospective of Tarsila
do Amaral, one of the 14 female
artists who – unnoticed by Sitwell –
contributed to the 1944 exhibition.
So what’s so special about
Brazilian art and why did it take
the old world so long to recognise
it? Tarsila, as she is affectionately
called, was a member of the
influential Grupo dos Cinco, a closeknit circle of five artists and writers
who, as far back as the 1920s, had
been making a case for a uniquely
Brazilian modernism.
“I feel myself ever more
Brazilian,” she wrote to her family
in 1923 from her base in France. “I
want to be the painter of my country.
Don’t think that this tendency is
viewed negatively here. On the
contrary. What they want is that
each one brings the contribution
of his own country … Paris has had
enough of Parisian art.”
But the Cinco were ahead
of their time. As art historian
Michael Asbury writes in The Art
of Diplomacy catalogue, it would
take decades for Brazil to be
recognised as a major player: “The
idea of exhibiting modernist works
from outside the main economic
and cultural centres would have
been considered […] an exercise in
showcasing derivative modern art.”
The 1944 show came at a turning
point for Brazilian art. The country
was about to make a visionary
investment in its cultural heritage,
as RA curator Adrian Locke points
out. Between 1947 and 1948 – when
much of the world was exhausted by
the second world war – Brazil opened
three major galleries, one in Rio and
two in São Paulo. In 1951, it took
the audacious step of founding the
world’s second biennale, which set
out to rival Venice. Brâncuși, Picasso
and Jackson Pollock were among
the artists featured in the first two
editions of the Bienal de São Paulo.
The respect was slow to be
reciprocated. Dawn Ades – who
curated a landmark exhibition,
Digested Read
Art in Latin America, at London’s
Hayward in 1989 – tracks the
turning point in the UK to two
decades earlier, in 1969, when the
Whitechapel featured an installation
by Hélio Oiticica that has become
a benchmark.
Tropicália, a scaled-down version
of which went on display at Tate
Modern last autumn, aimed to evoke
the higgledy-piggledy homes of
Rio’s favelas, complete with tropical
foliage and live parrots. “It was protoperformance art as well as this most
wonderful construction,” says Ades.
Oiticica, who died in 1980 at the age
of 42, was “fascinating because,
on one level, he was completely
international, but he thought of
himself as having Brazilian roots.”
Guardian critic Adrian Searle
noted as far back as 2007 that Tate
Modern had been buying Oiticica’s
work, revealing the increasing
influence of a group that also
included his friends and associates
Lygia Clark and Lygia Pape. “Theirs
was a modernism freed from
northern, protestant restraint, and
an art that strove to go beyond the
gallery and the closed world of the
For Ades, the question of what
makes Brazilian art so special is itself
wrong-headed. She argues against
the “irrelevant and dangerous tide
of nationalism” that has pervaded
the history of art for the last century,
citing Cildo Meireles as another
example of why its artists should be
judged on an international level. His
2001 work Babel – a circular tower
made of hundreds of old radios
tuned to different stations – was also
recently purchased for Tate Modern.
On the coincidence of so many
Brazilian solo shows in the UK, she
says: “It might just be chance or
it might be that there’s a very rich
ferment going on in the country
right now. There’s a real energy, but
I certainly wouldn’t put them in a
box that says Brazilian art. There’s
a great exhibition to be done on the
wave that goes from Brazil to Italy –
arte povera – art that is on the edge of
being an object in the real world.”
The 24 pictures in The Art
of Diplomacy might not all be
world-class art but they contain
forewarnings of this coming wave.
The most powerful is a sinister oil
painting in deep blues and browns
of a small girl on a moonlit night,
her head at an unnatural angle,
as if she might be possessed by
the toy she holds aloft on a stick.
After the sale, which raised £1,000
for the RAF Benevolent Fund,
The Scarecrow (The Half-Wit),
by artist, ceramicist and poet
Cândido Portinari, was donated to
Harrogate’s Mercer gallery.
A soft-porny landscape of barebreasted women on a beach was
the Tate’s only memento, gifted to
the gallery by a Tory MP with more
beneficence than taste. Even Cardoso
Junior, the retired schoolteacher
who painted the work – called They
Amuse Themselves – might chuckle
at the company he now keeps.
John Crace
‘Hi, I’m Prince Harry,’ he said.
Meghan Markle gushed:
‘You had me at Prince’
Title Meghan: A Hollywood Princess
Author Andrew Morton
Publisher Michael O’Mara
Price £20
In 1936, an American divorcee
called Wallis Simpson almost
brought down the British
monarchy. Just over 80 years
later, another American
divorcee, Meghan Markle, is set
to give the monarchy a new lease
of life. Yet Wallis and Meghan
have even more in common than just being
American and divorcees: they have both had
biographies about them by me published this
year. Some things are truly written in the stars.
Meghan’s has been a remarkable journey.
Much has been written about the fact that
her mother, Doria, was an African-American
woman with liquid brown eyes of slave
descent, but what is less well known is that
her father’s family can trace their ancestry
back to Robert the Bruce. So you could say that
Meghan was born into royalty, if you didn’t
have much material and were desperate to pad
out your book to 80,000 words.
Although her parents split up when she was
five, Meghan has always felt she came from a
very loving and stable background. As she once
told a Hollywood gossip column reporter when
she was desperate to go into acting: “I come
from a very loving and stable background. Do
you know anyone who could give me a job?”
From a very early age, it was obvious to all
those around her that Meghan was possessed
of a unique talent. At her private school in
Los Angeles, she was even cast as the star in
a production of The Princess Bride ahead of
Scarlett Johansson, who had only just been
born. One of the most formative moments
of her early life was watching the funeral
of Princess Diana on television. Little did
she know that less than 20 years later, she
would be marrying the young prince who was
walking behind his mother’s coffin carrying
a copy of Andrew Morton’s fabulous book,
Diana: Her True Story In Her Own Words.
Have I mentioned that Meghan is biracial?
Being biracial has always been an integral
The Art of Diplomacy is at the
Embassy of Brazil, London, until
22 June
part of Meghan’s identity. Largely because her
mother was black and her father was white.
Just thought I’d mention it. After leaving
university, where she narrowly missed out on
winning a Nobel prize, Meghan set her heart
on becoming an actress and it wasn’t long
before the parts came rolling in. Her first role
was in a straight-to-DVD film whose name I
can’t remember in which she had to say the
word: “Hi.” As the producer later told me after
hearing Meghan was getting married to Prince
Harry: “She was the only actress we auditioned
who could say ‘Hi’ as if she meant it.”
Her big break came when she was asked to
be a regular on Deal or No Deal, a gameshow
in which she had to walk on set wearing next
to nothing holding up box number 26. As the
girl who carried box number 17 told me: “We
could tell Meghan was a natural and was going
to marry into royalty.” Filming for Deal or No
Deal was a demanding process, yet Meghan
still managed to fit in a pilates class and get in
some charity work in preparation for meeting
Prince Harry.
At some point or other, Meghan married a
film producer called Trevor, but once she had
landed a leading part in a TV series called Suits,
she decided to let him go by text, as she didn’t
want to put him through the glare of publicity.
“Meghan has always been really thoughtful like
that,” one of her close friends told me.
Have I mentioned that Meghan is biracial?
Now that Meghan was a Hollywood star whom
almost no one outside Hollywood had heard
of, she devoted her life to helping others. Along
with posting selfies on Instagram and setting
up a website to promote organic kale and other
lifestyle necessities for biracial women.
After dumping various other men who
couldn’t help with her career, Meghan had
almost resigned herself to being single. But
then Cupid’s arrow went a-quiver under the
incandescent African skies. (God, who writes
this rubbish?) So Meghan and Prince Harry met
on a blind date and it was love at first sight.
“Hi, I’m Prince Harry,” said Prince Harry. “You
had me at Prince,” Meghan gushed.
Things moved swiftly after that, and it
wasn’t long before Meghan was invited to have
tea with the Queen. Using all the skills she
had learned as an actress, Meghan spent days
rehearsing sipping tea from a cup and eating
cucumber sandwiches. The big day went off
splendidly and the biggest hurdle of her life
had been cleared comfortably. On the way
home, Harry asked Meghan to marry him. “I
know it won’t be easy and you will have to give
up your charity work, but I’d like you to be my
wife,” he said.
“Oh don’t worry,” she replied. “I’ve always
wanted to be a princess. And you’re so
hopeless, you can be my very own charity
Meghan immediately settled into her new
role and every member of the royal family
remarked on how brilliantly she shook hands
with strangers. “She’s going to be a real asset,”
said a minor royal who was still hoping for an
invitation to the wedding.
Life under the royal glare is never easy,
though, and there are some who worry that
Meghan may quickly get bored. But hey! If
she does, she knows where to come to tell her
Digested read digested: When Harry met
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
Live reviews
Family ties …
Bríd Ní Neachtain
and George Costigan
Long Day’s
Into Night
Citizens, Glasgow
Until 5 May
Box office: 0141-429 0022
Little Eyolf
Print Room at the Coronet, London
he Connecticut
summer house of
the Tyrone family
in Eugene O’Neill’s
classic is usually
realised as a solid architectural
feature, bulky and permanent.
Not so in Tom Piper’s design for
Dominic Hill’s bruising revival, a
co-production between Glasgow’s
Citizens and Manchester’s Home.
His set is a skeletal outline, just
scaffolding, precipitous staircases
and transparent walls. It looks
provisional and unfinished –
unattractive even – and it has an
alarming effect.
Because every time someone is
out of the room and every time the
conversation turns to them – which
is nearly always – you’re convinced
they’ll be able to hear. They seem
certain to be within earshot of every
heated exchange, sure to stumble
in and make a volatile situation
worse. “This is not a jail,” says
t is the fashion these
days to strip Ibsen to the
bone. This exhilarating
production from Norway’s
National Theatre – played
in Norwegian with surtitles
– is very much in the modern
mode. It runs, like Richard Eyre’s
2015 Almeida version, for a brisk
85 minutes, and is played in
modern dress with mostly bare feet
and minimal furniture. It leaves
you, as all good Ibsen should,
quietly shattered.
Guilt is the prevailing theme,
as Rita and Alfred Allmers try to
repair a marriage haunted by the
accident that happened to their boy,
Eyolf, when they were preoccupied
making love. What is especially
striking about Sofia Jupither’s
production is its realisation of
Ibsen’s sexual candour. Pia Tjelta’s
Rita can hardly keep her hands off
Kåre Conradi’s withdrawn Alfred as
he returns from a six-week walking
tour in the mountains, and she
unbuttons his shirt with frenzy.
patriarch James Tyrone at one point,
yet his wife and sons seem to have
imprisoned themselves in a place
where they cannot escape each
other. They are convicts held by
their own family bonds.
There is also an appropriate
theatricality about Piper’s
sketchiness – it’s the idea of a house,
not the house itself – because the
Tyrones are forever role-playing. It’s
not just that James is a sometime
stage star who has cajoled his eldest
son, Jamie, to enter the profession.
It’s also that all of them insist on
masking their true selves. Where
James acts big but has wasted his
talent and Jamie walks tall but has
underachieved, mother Mary is in
denial about her morphine addiction,
and younger son Edmund – a close fit
for O’Neill himself – tries to conceal
the symptoms of consumption.
It’s the things they hide that make
them needy and vulnerable, drawn
to the very people who will tear
them apart. In a play full of spite,
Ibsen with
the gloves off …
Kåre Conradi
and Pia Tjelta
Alfred’s passion for his half-sister,
Asta, is more decorously expressed
but no less intense. The most
shocking revelation comes when we
learn that Alfred, who used to call
Asta “Little Eyolf”, cried out that
name at a moment of orgasm with
his wife.
Written in 1894, the play emerges
as both breathtakingly honest
recrimination and rage, a surprising
amount of hugging and cuddling goes
on in Hill’s production. It’s a constant
push and pull of pain and affection.
In a recent interview, Hill said the
play was “essentially four tragedies
in one show” and he duly fields four
heavyweight actors (not forgetting
a witty Dani Heron as the maid) to
punch the drama
home. Lorn
For a play
so full of
Edmund is wiry
spite, there
and resigned,
is a lot of
a sickly and
cuddling. It’s sensitive young
a constant
poet who feels
push and
pull of pain
to hold his
and affection dysfunctional
family together,
yet revealing
his true colours
in his moments
of focused fury. As big brother
Jamie, Sam Phillips has a fearsome
presence, hunched like he’s ready to
lash out, unyielding in his stare and
with a demeanour as dry and bitter
as the whiskey he knocks back in
such quantity.
With fingers crunched by
rheumatism, Bríd Ní Neachtain’s
Mary switches from the banal to
the protective to the vindictive by
the sentence. The more evasive –
and more stoned – she becomes,
the more she addresses her lines
to the floorboards. Best of all is
George Costigan as James, forever
checking himself in his bouts of
explosiveness, bringing his anger
under control until the next time it
erupts irrepressibly again.
It’s all delivered at a stormy
conversational speed, lines
frequently bursting out on top
of each other, with an emotional
exposure that can be excruciating
to watch. In its sense of dark and
relentless existential despair, it
echoes Hill’s earlier productions,
ranging from Crime and Punishment
to the plays of Samuel Beckett;
bleak, feverish and compelling.
Mark Fisher
and the ancestor of soul-baring
modern dramas by Eugene O’Neill,
Tennessee Williams and Edward
Albee. Yet Jupither’s produdtion
also brings out Ibsen’s grim
humour. When Tjelta’s superb
Rita – a Lady Macbeth of the fjords
– announces that she intends to
devote herself to looking after
neglected children, one’s initial
response is that the police should
be alerted.
Conradi captures perfectly
Alfred’s self-regarding
intellectualism, and there is fine
support from Ine Jansen as an
anguished Asta and from Andrine
Sæther, who turns the symbolic
figure of the Rat-Wife, sensing
something troublesome gnawing
away in the house, into a hippy
Pied Piper. This is Ibsen with the
gloves off, and the only sadness is
that the production was given a bare
three-night run. Someone should
invite this company back to give us
an extended Ibsen season.
Michael Billington
… Matt Heafy
Academy, Glasgow
ith such
titled songs
in their setlist
as Inception
of the End
and Drowned and Torn Asunder,
veteran Floridian heavy metal
foursome Trivium look, on paper,
like a band in need of an emergency
sense of humour transplant. But
to see them live is to be reminded
that sometimes even serious
headbangers just wanna have fun.
Threading together the kick
drum-slapping stentorian gallop of
Iron Maiden, the stomach-lurching
heaviosity of Metallica and the
screeching guitar solos of Megadeth,
Trivium make fast, physical and
faintly ridiculous music that
demands a commensurate response
from the crowd. The turbocharged
thrashing instrumental passage of
Sever the Hand has scores of people
whirling around in a cauldron of
mosh, even before frontman Matt
Heafy starts whipping everybody
into a more calculated frenzy.
A tall, lean and tattooed devilhorning dude with a propensity for
sticking out his tongue that would
shame an unruly toddler, Heafy is
like an ebullient life coach, showering
superlatives on his fans (“Awesome!”,
“Incredible!”, “Beautiful!”,
“Unbelievable!”). By challenging the
Glasgow crowd to top other crowds
thus far on Trivium’s European tour
– Paris is the one to beat, apparently
– he encourages an audience by no
means shy in the crowdsurfing stakes
to fully take flight. Surreally, one
guy even goes for it while Heafy is
talking between songs.
Abandon hope all ye who enter a
Trivium show in search of something
more profound than instrumental
virtuosity – the hair-raising choruses
of Until the World Goes Cold and
The Heart from Your Hate perhaps
notwithstanding. But as shuddering
closer In Waves sends tides of blackclad bodies rolling towards the crash
barriers, it’s hard not to get swept
along in the daft exuberance of it all.
Malcolm Jack
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
TV and radio
Watch this
The scenery
is lovely in an
eerie way … The
Woman in White
9pm, Sky Atlantic
The Woman in White
The rootin’-tootin’ Turing test returns for
a second season of honky-tonk piano and
violent delights. With the rebellious AI hosts –
notably Thandie Newton’s coldly furious
madam Maeve – having subverted their
hardwired prerogative not to kill humans, the
stakes have been raised. But with the Delos
Incorporated boffins and technical staff in
disarray, any disobedient host must reckon with
the prospect of never being fixed again. In other
words, while this may not be their first rodeo, it
could well be their last.
Graeme Virtue
Sam Wollaston
From identity-theft to #MeToo, this
latest adaptation of the Victorian
classic feels like watching the news
his adaptation of The Woman in White
begins with a woman in black. She is Wilkie
Collins’ best character, Marian Halcombe
(played by Jessie Buckley), who has come
to see a man called Mr Nash for help. She
is wearing black – including veil – because
she’s in mourning.
“The coroner stated that the cause of death was
natural, which we know to be a lie,” she says.
“There’s nothing to suggest these men are guilty …”
Mr Nash begins.
“Of course they’re guilty!” Miss Halcombe interrupts,
forcefully. “How is it men crush women time and time
again and go unpunished?”
Miss Halcombe goes on to say they need to come
together, gather the evidence and show the world who
these men really are.
And already Fiona Seres’ period adaptation of the
classic Victorian sensation novel, directed by Carl
Tibbetts, is reverberating in the present day. Not just
with its #MeToo-ness, but also in having a 21st-century
flash-forward structure that teases and hints without
giving too much away, adding intrigue and momentum.
This meeting with Mr Nash is later; stuff has already
happened. Significant stuff, huge stuff …
Then it’s back to the beginning – Collins’s one.
Good-hearted artist Walter Hartright (Ben Hardy off
EastEnders, innit, poshed up a bit here) is living a poor,
bohemian artist’s life in London, hanging out with his
Italian mate, Pesca. Then he has his creepy encounter
with a woman wearing white on the heath between the
capital and the nearby village of Hampstead, where his
mother lives.
She – Anne, who wears only white because she sees
and hears things in vivid colour (is that synesthesia?) – is
played by Olivia Vinall … who also plays Laura Fairlie.
That could have been awkward, but actually it works
well. They’re supposed to look similar, but not identical.
And so they do. Credit to the makeup people and also
to Vinall for putting in two distinct performances. (The
Anne role must have been a blessing, frankly, as Laura
is a bit meh. It’s a mystery why Walter falls in love with
her, rather than her way-more-interesting half-sister,
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
Marian.) But they – Laura and Anne – remain similar
enough to give credibility to any identity mashups that
may or may not happen down the line.
Identity theft! Again, a very modern issue – pretty
much like watching the news. That’s if any identity theft/
data harvesting occurs. It’s hard to know with TWIW,
spoiler-wise; chances are that even if you haven’t read it
you will have seen one of the screen/stage adaptations.
Anyway, this is a splendid one – because it strikes its
contemporary chord while hanging on to an atmosphere
of gothic creepiness (sometimes
proper scary). And because of the
performances. Aforementioned ones;
and also, when we get to Limmeridge
house, Charles Dance’s self-absorbed
and morally vacuous Mr Fairlie;
and Dougray Scott’s dastardly,
dark, seriously moustachioed Sir
This is
Percival Glyde.
a splendid
Sir Percival is betrothed to Laura,
adaptation –
although that may have more to
do with the fact that she’s worth
it is proper
£20,000 (loads of money in 1859) than
anything else. Sir Percival may also
have dark secrets and a connection
with Anne.
And Laura will go along with the
match, even though she is frightened
of him – because she is a woman and that’s what women
did in those days. Even though she would much rather
be with her and Marian’s new art tutor, nice Mr Hartright,
walking in the dunes, skinny-dipping (although women
definitely didn’t do that in those days), learning about
perspective and how to paint the hills of Cumberland.
The scenery is lovely, in an eerie way, even if it
isn’t entirely convincing as Cumberland. Not that it
really matters. What does come off is that The Woman
in White fills the void left by the (controversial) end of
Ordeal By Innocence the previous weekend. Classy BBC
drama – period but fresh – for a Sunday night.
And the woman in black? Marian Halcombe at the
start, in the future. Mourning for whom, exactly? You
know, don’t you? Or do you. Does she even know …?
Holidays Unpacked
8pm, Channel 4
I’m enjoying
I know: weird,
but I like
ships, even
war ones. And
about big things
that go.
New series in which Lucy
Hedges and Morland
Sanders get to travel
the world in the name
of research. Morland’s
got a good gig this week,
checking out Pacific
beaches and zip-lining
through a cloud forest,
while Lucy’s off to Israel
and soon finds herself
floating in the Dead Sea. A
pair of enviable working
holidays. Hannah Verdier
Genius: Picasso
8pm, National
Season two of biopic
drama series Genius shifts
from Geoffrey Rush’s
Einstein to Antonio
Banderas’s incorrigibly
randy Pablo Picasso,
finding him in middle
age (and as a young
man through a series of
flashbacks) as he’s courted
by those who wish to use
his art to combat Franco
and the Nazis. Ben Arnold
The Real Camilla
9pm, ITV
Documentary purporting
to reflect a year in the life
of the Duchess of Cornwall.
On the general form of
royal documentaries, it
would be startling if this
proved other than the
usual dreary hagiography,
replete with friends and
associates reciting bland
encomia to her tireless
charity work, etc.
Andrew Mueller
The Island with
Bear Grylls
9pm, Channel 4
Despite the arguably
problematic “rich v poor”
premise of this year’s
series, this week sees
some unity on the Island.
With doctor Ali (“posh”
team) and nurse Laura
(“not posh” team) finding
starvation particularly
hard, the contestants club
together for a hunting trip
with the aim of finding
some nosh.
Hannah J Davies
Fergie v Wenger:
The Feud
10pm, Channel 5
Alex Ferguson took
umbrage when Arsène
Wenger’s Arsenal
threatened to knock
Manchester Utd off the
Premier League perch
in the 1990s. This doc
recalls the depths of
their antipathy. Wenger’s
imminent departure
from Arsenal will give the
account an added sense
of an era that has passed
into history.
David Stubbs
Channel 4
Channel 5
Breakfast (T) 9.15 Rip
Off Britain: Food (T) 10.0
Homes Under the Hammer
(T) (R) 11.0 Heir Hunters
(T) 11.45 The Housing
Enforcers (T) 12.15 Bargain
Hunt (T) 1.0 News and
Weather (T) 1.30 Regional
News and Weather (T) 1.45
Doctors (T) 2.15 800 Words
(T) 3.0 Escape to the Country
(T) 3.45 Flipping Profit
(T) 4.30 Flog It! (T) 5.15
Pointless (T) 6.0 News and
Weather (T) 6.30 Regional
News and Weather (T) 7.0
The One Show (T) 7.30
Nightmare Pets SOS (T)
EastEnders (T) A mystery
woman seeks Arshad’s help.
8.30 Panorama: Gangsters’ Dirty
Money Exposed (T) Andy
Verity reports on a violent
Ukrainian criminal gang.
9.0 DIY SOS: The Big Build (T)
(R) The team help to create
a new home for a Rotherham
man who suffered a brain
Only Connect (T) Victoria
Coren Mitchell hosts the
second semi-final.
8.30 University Challenge (T)
9.0 Secret Agent Selection:
WW2 (T) The students are
dropped off in a remote
part of the Highlands,
where they have to learn
the survival skills required
for life as an SOE operative.
Give It a Year (T) Karren
Brady meets a former Royal
Marine who has overcome
PTSD to start a woodland
adventure business.
8.30 Coronation Street (T) Maria
finds Emma in a state of
undress with David.
9.0 The Real Camilla (T) A year
in the life of the Duchess of
Holidays Unpacked (T)
New series. Morland
Sanders and Lucy Hedges
visit Israel and Costa Rica.
8.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours on
the Côte d’Azur (T) Richard
Ayoade is joined by comedian
Shazia Mirza.
9.0 The Island With Bear Grylls
(T) The two teams finally
put their differences aside.
10.0 News (T)
10.30 Regional News (T) Weather
10.45 Have I Got a Bit More News
for You (T) Lee Mack hosts,
with guests Sara Pascoe
and Janet Street-Porter.
11.30 The Graham Norton
Show (T) (R) Benedict
Cumberbatch, Matt LeBlanc
and Maxine Peake guest.
12.15 Weather (T) 12.20 News (T)
10.0 QI Opposites (T) (R) With
Sara Pascoe, Colin Lane
and Jimmy Carr.
10.30 Newsnight (T) Weather
11.15 Snooker: The World
Championship (T)
12.05 Snooker Extra (T) 2.05
Countryfile (R) 3.0 My Dad,
the Peace Deal and Me (R)
4.0 Murder, Mystery and My
Family (R) 4.45 This Is BBC Two
10.0 News (T) Weather
10.30 Local News (T) Weather
10.45 The Investigator: A British
Crime Story (T) (R) A new
murder threatens to derail
the investigation. Last in
the series.
11.45 Last Laugh in Vegas (T) (R)
12.40 Jackpot247 3.0 Jeremy Kyle
(T) (R) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 Jeremy Kyle (T) (R)
10.0 Kiss Me First (T) Adrian
closes Red Pill down.
11.0 999: What’s Your
Emergency? (T) (R)
12.05 First Dates (R) 1.0 Lee and
Dean (R) 1.30 I Don’t Like
Mondays (R) 2.25 Hidden
Restaurants (R) 3.20 Come
Dine Champion of Champions
(R) 4.15 Building the Dream (R)
5.10 One Star to Five Star (R)
10.0 Fergie v Wenger: The Feud
The rivalry of Alex Ferguson
and Arsène Wenger.
11.0 Criminals Caught on Camera
(T) (R)
12.0 America’s Toughest Prisons
(T) (R) 1.0 SuperCasino (T)
3.10 Portillo’s Hidden History
of Britain (T) (R) 4.0 Tattoo
Disasters UK (T) (R) 4.25
Tattoo Disasters UK (T) (R)
Flog It! Trade Secrets (T)
(R) 6.30 Heir Hunters (T)
(R) 7.15 Health: Truth or
Scare (T) (R) 8.0 Sign Zone:
Hugh’s Wild West (T) (R)
9.0 Victoria Derbyshire
(T) 10.0 Live Snooker: The
World Championship (T)
The concluding session of
the match involving Mark
Allen. 12.0 Daily Politics (T)
1.0 Live Snooker: The World
Championship (T) Day three,
featuring Shaun Murphy and
Ding Junhui in action against
two qualifiers. 6.0 Eggheads
(T) (R) 6.30 Britain in Bloom
(T) 7.0 The Secret Helpers (T)
Good Morning Britain (T)
8.30 Lorraine (T) 9.25 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (T) 10.30
This Morning (T) 12.30 Loose
Women (T) 1.30 News (T)
1.55 Local News (T) 2.0 Judge
Rinder (T) 3.0 Tenable (T)
3.59 Local News and Weather
(T) 4.0 Tipping Point (T)
5.0 The Chase (T) 6.0 Local
News (T) 6.30 News (T)
7.0 Emmerdale (T) Ross
breaks into the veterinary
surgery and Rodney suspects
that there is something
wrong with Jimmy. 7.30
Coronation Street (T)
Gary tries to help David.
Countdown (T) (R) 6.45
3rd Rock from the Sun
(T) (R) 7.35 Everybody
Loves Raymond (T) (R)
8.30 Frasier (T) (R) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (T)
(R) 11.0 Undercover Boss
USA (T) (R) 12.0 News (T)
12.05 Coast v Country (T)
(R) 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers
(T) (R) 2.10 Countdown
(T) 3.0 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away (T) (R) 4.0
Escape to the Chateau: DIY
(T) 5.0 Four in a Bed (T) (R)
5.30 Buy It Now (T) 6.0
The Simpsons (T) (R) 6.30
Hollyoaks (T) (R) 7.0 News
Other channels
6.0am Home Shopping
7.10 Scrapheap Challenge
8.10 American Pickers
9.0-10.0 Storage Hunters 10.0-1.0 American
Pickers 1.0-3.0 Top Gear
3.0 Sin City Motors 4.0
Steve Austin’s Broken
Skull Challenge 5.0 Top
Gear 6.0 Room 101
6.40-8.0 Would I Lie
to You? 8.0 Cop Car
Workshop 9.0 Live at
the Apollo 10.0 The Best
of Dara O Briain’s Go
8 Bit 11.0 Taskmaster
12.0-1.20 QI 1.20 Mock
the Week 2.0-3.15 QI
3.15 Parks and Recreation
3.35 The Indestructibles
4.0 Home Shopping
All programmes to 7pm
are double bills 6.0am
Hollyoaks 7.0 Rules of
Engagement 8.0 How
I Met Your Mother 9.0
New Girl 10.0 2 Broke
Girls 11.0 Brooklyn NineNine 12.0 The Goldbergs
1.0 The Big Bang Theory
2.0 How I Met Your
Mother 3.0 New Girl
4.0 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.0 The Goldbergs 6.0
The Big Bang Theory 7.0
Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.0 The
Big Bang Theory 8.30
Young Sheldon 9.0 Made
in Chelsea 10.0 Don’t
Tell the Bride Ireland
11.05-12.05 The Big
Bang Theory 12.05
Tattoo Fixers 1.10 Made
in Chelsea 2.10 Don’t Tell
the Bride Ireland 3.05
First Dates 4.0 How I Met
Your Mother 4.20-6.0
Rules of Engagement
11.0am The Mouse
That Roared (1959)
12.40 Angel and
the Badman (1947)
2.45 The Night
of the Grizzly (1966)
4.50 The Hound
of the Baskervilles
(1959) 6.30 The
Book Thief (2013) 9.0
Mission: Impossible
– Rogue Nation (2015)
11.35 Middle
Men (2009) 1.45
Arbitrage (2012)
6.0am The Planet’s
Funniest Animals 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records 6.45
Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records 7.10
Who’s Doing the Dishes?
7.55 Emmerdale 8.20
Coronation Street 8.55
Coronation Street 9.25
The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 10.20 The Bachelor
12.15 Emmerdale 12.45
Coronation Street 1.15
Coronation Street 1.45
The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 2.35-5.50 Jeremy
Kyle 5.50 Take Me Out
7.0 You’ve Been Framed!
BBC Four
Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll
Take It Away! (T) (R) 12.10
News (T) 12.15 The Gadget
Show (T) (R) 1.10 Access
(T) 1.15 Home and Away
(T) 1.45 Neighbours (T)
2.15 NCIS (T) (R) Thirst
3.15 Social Nightmare
(Mark Quod, 2013) (T)
A talented youngster
is targeted by a hacker.
Mystery thriller with Kirsten
Prout. 5.0 News (T) 5.30
Neighbours (T) (R) 6.0 Home
and Away (T) (R) 6.30 News
(T) 7.0 MotoGP Highlights
(T) Grand Prix of the Americas
Police Interceptors (T)
(R) Damien and Mark take
drastic action against a
violent suspect. Includes
news update.
Paddington Station 24/7
(T) A broken-down train
causes disruption during
rush hour, and staff deal
with a series of medical
emergencies at the station.
Beyond 100 Days (T)
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
(T) Steve Backshall visits
America’s Yellowstone
national park, where
animals roam grasslands,
wetlands and forests.
Turkey With Simon Reeve
(T) (2/2) The presenter
travels along the Black
Sea coast to Ankara.
Baku: An Art Lovers’ Guide
(T) Janina Ramirez and
Alastair Sooke explore
the capital of Azerbaijan,
which offers up a mix
of ancient and modern.
Last in the series.
10.0 The Ottomans: Europe’s
Muslim Emperors (T) (2/3)
Suleiman the Magnificent
and Abdul Hamid II.
11.0 Dan Cruickshank: At Home
With the British (T) The story
of the high-rise. Last in series.
12.0 Turkey With Simon Reeve
(T) (R) (2/2) 1.0-2.05 TOTP:
1983 (T) (R) 2.05 Baku: An
Art Lovers’ Guide (T) (R)
Gold 7.30 You’ve Been
Framed! Gold 8.0 Two
and a Half Men 8.30
Two and a Half Men
9.0 Family Guy 9.30
American Dad! 10.0
Plebs 10.30 Family Guy
11.0 Family Guy 11.30
American Dad! 12.0 The
Cleveland Show 12.30
Two and a Half Men 12.55
Two and a Half Men 1.25
Release the Hounds 2.25
Teleshopping 5.55 ITV2
8.55am Food Unwrapped
9.30-11.35 A Place in
the Sun: Summer Sun
11.35-2.10 Four in a Bed
2.10-4.50 Come Dine
With Me 4.50 A Place
in the Sun: Summer
Sun 5.50 Ugly House to
Lovely House 6.55 The
Secret Life of the Zoo
7.55 Grand Designs 9.0
Building Giants: World’s
Tallest Church 10.0 Car
SOS 11.0 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown 12.05
Kitchen Nightmares
USA 1.0 Building Giants:
World’s Tallest Church
2.05-3.50 8 Out of 10
Cats Does Countdown
6.0am-7.0 Animal 999
7.0-8.0 Meerkat Manor
8.0-9.0 Monkey Life
9.0-10.0 Motorway
Patrol 10.0 Road Wars
11.0 Warehouse 13 12.0
NCIS: LA 1.0-3.0 Hawaii
Five-0 3.0 NCIS: LA 4.0
Stargate SG-1 5.0 The
Simpsons 5.30-6.30
Futurama 6.30-8.0 The
Simpsons 8.0 Supergirl
9.0 The Sum of All
Fears (2002) 11.20 The
Force: North East 12.20
Brit Cops: Frontline
Crime UK 1.15 Ross
Kemp: Extreme World
2.10 Most Shocking 3.05
Duck Quacks Don’t Echo
4.0-5.0 The Real A&E
5.0 It’s Me or the Dog
Sky Arts
6.0am Eras of Music
History 7.0 Lang Lang:
Live in Versailles
8.50 At-Issue 9.0
Watercolour Challenge
9.30 Adventurers of
Modern Art 10.30 Tales
of the Unexpected 11.0
Trailblazers: Gothic
Rock 12.0 The Seventies
1.0 Discovering:
Ingrid Bergman 2.0
Watercolour Challenge
2.30 The Adventurers of
Modern Art 3.30 Tales
of the Unexpected 4.0
Trailblazers: Pop Videos
5.0 The Seventies 6.0
Discovering: Ginger
Rogers 7.0 Auction
7.30 Discovering: The
Eagles 8.0 Landscape
Artist of the Year 2017
9.0 André Rieu: How
It All Began 10.0 Tate
Britain’s Great Art Walks
11.0-12.0 South Bank
Show Originals 12.0
Hard Beauty: Helaine
Blumenfeld 1.05 Monty
Python: Almost the Truth
2.20 Psychobitches 2.45
Joan Baez: How Sweet
the Sound 4.30 Tales
of the Unexpected 5.06.0 Auction
Sky Atlantic
6.0am Urban Secrets
7.0 Hotel Secrets 8.0
Storm City 9.0-11.0
The West Wing 11.0-1.0
House 1.0 Without a
Trace 2.0 Making Flying
Monsters 3.0-5.0 The
West Wing 5.0-7.0 House
7.0 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation 8.0 Blue
Bloods 9.0 Westworld
10.20 West:Word 10.50
Last Week Tonight With
John Oliver 11.25 The
Circus 12.0 Westworld
1.20 Divorce 1.55
Crashing 2.30 Animals
3.05 Here and Now
4.10-6.0 The West Wing
The Book
Thief, Film4
Radio 3
6.30 Breakfast 9.0
Essential Classics. Peter
Balzalgette guests. 12.0
Composer of the Week:
Barbara Strozzi (R) 1.0
News 1.02 Lunchtime
Concert: Wigmore Hall
Mondays. Baroque
chamber music from
Trevor Pinnock. 2.0
Afternoon Concert.
The first in a week of
programmes featuring
the BBC Scottish
Symphony Orchestra
was recorded at Glasgow
City Halls and features
Copland’s Appalachian
Spring and Tommy
Smith’s Jacobite for
saxophone and orchestra.
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018: Brass Finalists
5.0 In Tune 7.0 In Tune
Mixtape 7.30 In Concert.
Recorded at the Barbican
last night. LSO, Simon
Rattle. Tippett: The Rose
Lake. 8pm Interval Music.
8.20 Mahler compl
Cooke: Symphony No
10. 10.0 Music Matters
10.45 The Essay: Dark
Blossoms – Deer Cry Hall.
Japan’s uneasy embrace
of modernity. (1/5) 11.0
Jazz Now. A concert by
Makiko Hirabayashi.
12.30 Through the Night
Radio 4
6.0 Today 9.0 Start the
Week 9.45 (LW) Daily
Service 9.45 (FM) Book
of the Week Sharp: The
Women Who Made an Art
of Having an Opinion,
by Michelle Dean.
(1/5) 10.0 Woman’s
Hour. Includes at 10.45
Drama: Curious Under
the Stars, by Annamaria
Murphy. (1/20) 11.0
Inherited Fear 11.30
Spike Milligan: Inside
Out. Michael Palin and
Jane Milligan conclude
their celebration of the
comedian’s centenary.
(2/2) 12.0 News 12.01
(LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front: 23
April 1918 – Gabriel
Graham, by Sarah
Daniels. (36/40) 12.15
You and Yours 1.0 The
World at One 1.45
Chinese Characters:
Zheng He – The Admiral
goes to Africa (11/20)
2.0 The Archers (R) 2.15
Drama: An Open Return,
by Daniel Thurman.
(R) 3.0 Brain of Britain
(9/17) 3.30 The Food
Programme (R) 4.0 The
Art of Immersion. Artist
Adham Faramawy asks
whether virtual reality
offers new ways to make
and experience art. 4.30
Beyond Belief (4/7) 5.0
PM 5.54 (LW) Shipping
Forecast 6.0 News 6.30
The Unbelievable Truth
(4/6) 7.0 The Archers.
Peggy discovers the
truth. 7.15 Front Row
7.45 Curious Under the
Stars (R) (1/20) 8.0
Imperial Echo. Jonny
Dymond traces the story
of the Commonwealth
from its Empire roots
to 1990s successes,
and ponders its purpose
today. 8.30 Crossing
Continents: The Mystery
of Russia’s Lost Jihadi
Brides (R) 9.0 The
Second Genome (R) 9.30
Start the Week (R) 10.0
The World Tonight 10.45
Book at Bedtime: The
One Who Wrote Destiny,
by Nikesh Shukla. (6/10)
11.0 Word of Mouth: Not
My Type (R) 11.30 Today
in Parliament 12.0 News
12.30 Book of the Week
(1/5) 12.48 Shipping
Forecast 1.0 As World
Service 5.20 Shipping
Forecast 5.30 News 5.43
Prayer for the Day 5.45
Farming Today 5.58
Tweet of the Day (R)
Radio 4 Extra
6.0 Rogue Justice (1/5)
6.30 The Taking Part 7.0
Millport (4/6) 7.30 The
Unbelievable Truth (3/6)
8.0 Hancock’s Half Hour
(1/20) 8.30 Flywheel,
Shyster and Flywheel
(2/6) 9.0 Just a Minute
(3/6) 9.30 King Street
Junior (7/8) 10.0 The
Idiot (1/4) 11.0 Clown’s
Shoes (5/5) 11.15 From
Galway to Graceland
12.0 Hancock’s Half Hour
(1/20) 12.30 Flywheel,
Shyster… (2/6) 1.0
Rogue Justice (1/5)
1.30 The Taking Part
2.0 Expo 58 (6/10) 2.15
Shakespeare’s Restless
World (6/20) 2.30 Good
News (1/5) 2.45 Catch
Me If You Can (1/5) 3.0
The Idiot (1/4) 4.0 Just
a Minute (3/6) 4.30 King
Street Junior (7/8) 5.0
Millport (4/6) 5.30 The
Unbelievable Truth (3/6)
6.0 The Man Who Was
Thursday (6/13) 6.30 A
Good Read 7.0 Hancock’s
Half Hour (1/20) 7.30
Flywheel, Shyster…
(2/6) 8.0 Rogue Justice
(1/5) 8.30 The Taking
Part 9.0 Clown’s Shoes
(5/5) 9.15 From Galway
to Graceland 10.0 State
of the Nations (2/5)
10.30 The Hitchhiker’s
Guide to the Galaxy:
The Secondary Phase
(2/6) 11.0 The News
Quiz Extra (2/8) 11.45
The Shuttleworths (6/6)
12.0 The Man Who
Was Thursday (6/13)
12.30 A Good Read 1.0
Rogue Justice (1/5)
1.30 The Taking Part
2.0 Expo 58 (6/10) 2.15
Shakespeare’s Restless
World (6/20) 2.30 Good
News (1/5) 2.45 Catch
Me If You Can (1/5) 3.0
The Idiot (1/4) 4.0 Just
a Minute (3/6) 4.30 King
Street Junior (7/8) 5.0
Millport (4/6) 5.30 The
Unbelievable Truth (3/6)
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
no 14,963
Quick crossword
1 Strong and sturdy (6)
4 Natty (6)
9 Choral work (7)
10 Do — political group (5)
11 Of very poor quality (5)
12 Slightly hungry (7)
13 London area with an annual
carnival (7,4)
18 Small case with a shoulder strap (7)
20 Pear-shaped tropical fruit (5)
22 Restrict (5)
23 Icy (7)
24 Old-fashioned laundry appliance
25 Odd or fanciful idea (6)
1 Ornate architectural style (6)
2 Immoderate indulgence (5)
3 Remain in the same place (4,3)
5 Jelly based on fish or meat stock (5)
6 Not complete (7)
7 Cycle — cadence (6)
8 Bell-ringing (11)
14 Low stuffed seat (7)
15 Piffle (7)
16 Refuge (6)
17 On-board cooking area (6)
19 Code word for H (5)
21 Proposition assumed to be
self-evident (5)
Sudoku no 4039
Stuck? For help call 0906 200 83 83. Calls cost £1.10 per minute, plus your phone company’s access charge.
Service supplied by ATS. Call 0330 333 6946 for customer service (charged at standard rate).
To buy puzzle books, visit or call 0330 333 6846.
no 4041
Easy. Fill the grid so that each row, column and 3x3 box
contains the numbers 1-9. Printable version at theguardian.
Word wheel
Saturday’s Quick
Solution no 14,962
Word wheel
Find as many words as
possible using the letters
in the wheel. Each must
use the central letter and
at least two others. Letters
may be used only once. You
may not use plurals, foreign
words or proper nouns.
There is at least one nineletter word to be found.
TARGET: Excellent-83.
Good-76. Average-67.
Fill the grid so that each square
in an outlined block contains a
digit. A block of 2 squares contains
the digits 1 and 2, a block of three
squares contains the digits 1, 2 and
3, and so on. No same digit appears
in neighbouring squares, not even
Can you find 11 primates in the grid?
Words can run forwards, backwards,
vertically or diagonally, but always in
a straight, unbroken line.
Steve Bell
Which actor
has pet hermit
a. Goldie Hawn
b. Jessica Lange
c. Glenn Close
d. Kim Basinger
Answer top right
The Guardian
Monday 23 April 2018
Журналы и газеты
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