dd £2.75 28-Apr-18 Cover gifts may vary. Competitions open to UK residents only, unless otherwise stated. ddddddddddddd AUS $4.95, NZ $5.99 UK Off-sale date — 02/05/2018 Ssh! Yeti hiding. Advertisement FUNNY STUFF EVERY D AY! Videos Games TO PLAY GAMES, WATCH VIDEOS AND FIND OUT MORE GO TO BEANO.COM LEE FROM COVENTRY IS… #SOBeano in beanotown, they know me as legend at bash street school… did you hear about lee? apparently, he ate ten whole pizzas last night! lee! why am i a legend? well… that’s brilliant! hello, everyone! i’m lee and i’m #sobeano! wow! i heard lee cooked ten pizzas and juggled them all at once! hey, lee! is it true that you set the world record for spinning ten pizzas on chopsticks? er… maybe! all i said yesterday was that mum was going to GET me pizza for dinner. i’d better start practising! ? o n a e WANT TO BE #SOB Next week, it could be YOU! If you’re chosen to be #SOBeano, you’ll get to pick the best jokes and pranks, award someone the Golden #SOBeano, read the comic strips before anyone else, and loads more! The egg is hidden somewhere in the pages of your Beano. Can you crack the case and spot it? Email us at: Make sure you tell us: 1 The story Big Eggo’s egg is in! 2 email@example.com Your all-time favourite joke! 3 Your name, date of birth, your parent or guardian’s name and phone number! Don’t forget to include a photo too! For Beanotown secrets, epic comics, puzzles and blam-tastic toons, go to beano.com/beanotown The winner will be chosen at random by the Beano team. You must obtain permission from your parent or guardian before entering. For our full competition T&Cs, visit www.dctmedia.co.uk/brands/beano or send a stamped addressed envelope to Beano Marketing, Copy of your Competition Terms, D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ. Last week’s egg was in Billy Whizz! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS FIND BIG EGGO’S EGG! reg the greengrocer is worried… what about you, sir? the tomatoes are now half price! tomatoes! lovely tomatoes! get your tomatoes here! quarter price! you, madam! you look like you need some juicy tomatoes! no! they’re still good for soup, though! …that aren’t on the turn? i’m not making soup. arrgh! urrgh! no thanks! sniff! goodbye, tomatoes. i never really knew you! reg is a member of beanotown’s amateur dramatics club, if you hadn’t noticed! – ed later… WORDS: WORDS: NIGEL NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE AUCHTERLOUNIE ART: ART: NIGEL NIGEL PARKINSON PARKINSON let’s see who we can get with this… THE WORLD’S WILDEST BOY... AND HIS BEST FRIEND! suddenly… that’s not true, i’m just making a point! no! i’m too late! they’re on the turn! have you any tomatoes… ha-ha-ha! yes! ‘the turn’ is when food turns from fresh to not so fresh! – ed tomatoes? i’d rather eat sprouts! in the lane behind the greengrocer’s… i could use this old drainpipe to make a giant peashooter! where will you get giant aha! tomatoes! peas? in tomatoes aren’t giant peas, dennis! even i know that. WEAPON OF MASS SPLATS-TRUCTION! ha-ha! i got the mayor, walter and mrs creecher with one shot! not me, dennis. maybe that buzzing sound is just a very large pie face, did you bring a chainsaw with you? bee. while we’re hidden in this tree, we’ll never get caught! timber! urrgh! who splatted us with tomatoes on the turn? we’ll arrgh! never know! it looks like my plan to save money on trees by chopping them all down has borne strange fruit! you may think you’ve caught me red-handed, what with me being red-handed and all, but… …i’m running away! grr! meanwhile… careful! steady! okay, mr world record judge! measure my record-breaking tomato. i’ll be the judge of that! gasp! hurry – it’s on the turn! urrgh! one out of three ain’t bad! every tomato you’ve blindly thrown seems to have hit walter! hey! that’s my tomato you’ve sent airborne! quick! over this fence! oops! there’s no escape for you now, dennis! a giant, flying tomato?! ha-ha! that has to be a record-breaker! i’ll be the judge of that! i think it is, actually. What do you call a flying monkey? A hot air baboon! Splat DENNIS'S BIGGEST ! R E EV Dennis has had a record-breaking day splatting the citizens of Beanotown. Can you find all the people he’s splatted in the wordsearch? M TICK ‘E YOU OFF AS M! E FIND TH ANNE FINELEY BERTIE BUTCH BUTCHER CLAWDIA MRS CREECHER J BQQR A ZWG P XV I S AO A D Y D B L M S S J UW L Y T ZMD O PA XOV E ZH C D A OWB X P F X X Y ANN E F Z Y R E H C E RR E H C T N P O S T I Y T F S G C C X I V EDUBOT POSTIE RALPH WALTER WILBUR V V T P A T V L C I E U E P Y Q G G H NNR J J XWD L B L R I H MM H A A L CUC P L O B A E Z X AW E UWM X E K Q L R C RR I O F K C T TOOTVHK N E L E YRVH D R C S RME XMJ BH C TUBR B QNX P I KQ S F Z Y OM U WW T P Solution it’s bad news, eric. general blight and doctor gloom have teamed up to rob beanotown post office! when little eric eats a banana, he becomes… super-duper me! i’ll tell bananaman straight away, chiefy. but… perishing peels! MOTHS HAVE EATEN ALL OF MY SPARE COSTUMES! THEY’RE ALL ruined! whoa! this suit’s had it! i need to change into another, fast! WORDS: TOMMY DONBAVAND ART: WAYNE THOMPSON these ‘nana jammies will protect my secret identity! WHOOSH! H! S A SM although they might not protect me from being laughed ha-ha-ha! at! tee-hee! guffaw! soon… now that i look more like my old self… i have an idea! either that, or my brain is suddenly itchy. P! I R D but… …it’s time to nab those crooks! glub! BRII ING! SPLA SH! this just isn’t my day! that shop is certain to have a superhero costume i could borrow! ho-ho! har-har! chuckle! BRIIING! shortly… but i still have a job to do. BRII ING! sigh! this is the only costume that would fit me. bwa-ha-ha! stop, in the name of the… CE! A R what the what?! there’s no skirt-ing around the issue, bananaman. you’re just tu-tu good at this crime-fighting lark! hee-hee-hee! huh? sigh! ha-ha! ho-ho! …law. What snack is found in a swamp? A marsh-mallow! Advertisement 2 for £20 mix & match Visit BEANO.COM/PRAYFORSUN and use code SPRING Valid until 6th May 2018 Exclusions apply. Cannot be used in conjunction with another promotion or voucher code. Available until 6th May, or while promo stocks last. clear off! you’re scaring my customers! later… we could have some fun with one of those fake tentacles! gurgle! arrgh! help! oooh! i was only squidding! this zoo ain’t big enough for two octopuses! i’ll give you a bashing! arrgh! gosh! my tentacle almost looks real! good riddance! arrgh! P! A N S H! S A SM CRASH! WORDS & ART: LESLIE STANNAGE i’d better not forget to pick up our tea on the way home. there’s still fun to be had with this! i got your favourite from the chip shop, mumsie. H! S A SM BOOM! …octopus! oops! wheeze! let go! grr! come here! yum! it smells like… i have an ink-ling mumsie didn’t sea the fin-ny side of my prank. What do you call a lot of bison? A buffa-load! the tricky PART about inventing things is that most things have been invented. there’s nothing left! a car? you could invent one! cars have already been invented! they’re called cars! oh, right. what about inventing a phone then? what about a car? phones have been invented too! that’s why the word ‘phone’ exists! WORDS: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE ART: EMILY McGORMAN-BRUCE so a new thing would have a new word? er… i know! invent a… …invent a squipzilup! stop! is what you’re going to say a thing that there’s no. i was a word for? because going to say, that’s a clue that invent a… it’s already been er, a… invented! what does a squipzilup do? invent it. turn it on and see! were you going to say car again? hours later… okay! there! a squipzilup! well, that’s why no-one’s invented a squipzilup before! What do you call a mountain with hiccups? A volcano! yes. let’s see what it does! YOU’RE There was a race to be the one to see your #SOBeano photos… and I won! Send your best pictures in and you could win a prize too! Share your I’m always thinking outside the box! My winner of the Golden #SOBeano is Seb from Montreal, Canada! I love how he’s made his own Beano box! moments! OBeano N # Tell us your into epic fail, we’ll turn it in a cartoon and you’ll w ! a prize for owning up Here’s Joe from Churchdown! My #NOBeano happened when I won a prize at school assembly and tripped over in front of the whole school! Holly from Bishop’s Stortfo rd is prepared for an y catapult battles w ith her super-cool Beano shield! We covered a toilet roll in icing! She’s a WHEEL minx! Olive and Florence from London made a toilet roll birthday cake! Top pranking! But no-one wanted to eat it! We don’t know why! Evie from Edinburgh drew this awesome picture of Minnie on her bike! Charlie from Woodford Green is #SOBeano with that menacing hairstyle and cool Beano collection! It’s brilliant bedtime, daytime AND night-time reading! Are you #SOBeano? Orlaith from Meigle never goes to sleep without readin g the latest Beano! Send your photos, jokes, drawings and letters along with your name, date of birth, parent or guardian’s name, address and contact details to: #SOBeano, Beano, DC Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ SOBeano@beano.com NOBeano@beano.com Every reader on this page has won an awesome Pop! Beano Rucksack! From pranks to your favourite comic, carry your menacing equipment with you in true Beanotown style! Please note we can’t return pictures or photographs, so send a copy if the original is www.beano.com important to you. For our full competition T&Cs visit www.dctmedia.co.uk/brands/beano or send a stamped addressed envelope to Beano Marketing, Copy of your Competition Terms, D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ. Prizes may vary from those shown and please allow 28 days for delivery. www.beano.com ‘you will have a fantastic day and will find yourself with a big smile on your face.’ one morning in bash street school… let me see what my horoscope says for today. what are you reading? hmph! sounds highly unlikely! morning, teacher! yeah! let’s see! i was reading my horoscope. astrologists believe that you can predict your future from which sign of the zodiac you were born under. did your …i’m horoscope predict cancer, the this?! crab! oh, right… yeowch! where did you even get a crab from? i’m taurus, the bull! eek! WORDS: ANDY FANTON ART: DAVID SUTHERLAND settle down, fatty! my horoscope isn’t looking right so far! no, you weren’t! we’re gemini, the twins! hey! i was going to say that! was too! that’s the wrong sort of scales, smiffy! no! i’m libra, the scales! guess what i am, miss! pisces, the fish? i’m sagittarius, the archer! look! uh-oh… eek! hmph! that does it! will you all sit down and be quiet? what star sign are you, teach? i’m a leo! the lion! teacher’s lost it! that figures! if i hear another peep out of anyone, the only thing i predict in your future will be a lot of detention! understand? so… ah, blissful silence! it seems like my horoscope was right after all! chuckle! gulp! What is Bananaman’s favourite gymnastics move? The splits! DANGEROUS DAN Beanotown’s TOP secret agent! come with me, dan! i need help on a top secret spying mission and you’re the only one for the job! WORDS & ART: PAUL PALMER stop fidgeting, dan! i can’t see what the enemy are doing when you keep moving about! wow! an important mission with the boss at last! i’m really going up in the spying world! or maybe not. big eggo Will he ever find his egg? hee-hee! i’ve set a trap for big eggo but i need some bait! WORDS & ART: LEW STRINGER aha! a fake egg! thank you! hang on! wasn’t that…? terry is net the brightest hunter around! ha-ha! tricked! tricky dicky Beanotown’s TOP trickster! this art lesson is a great chance for me to draw let me see that! eeps! comics aren’t art, dicky, they’re rubbish! draw something proper! ooh, how dare he! – ed WORDS: JD SAVAGE ART: LAURA HOWELL comics! so… how about this, sir? i call it, ‘eclipse of the sun’! later… watch out for that hole, sir! don’t be silly, dicky. i can see it’s just your picture! it’s all right, i suppose! not my picture, sir. the hole underneath it! ha-ha! FUM E! 2018 , L I R P A TH 8 2 Y A D R SATU nd! e y k c i t s , a ry Dear Dia won't come to nk This pra 1 3 ape d the t t a e n e p u Io help, p ee and First, L ith an adult’s er it. d and, w t of glue un do Then we pu t the for Mr Thro tape back bb to find. 2 YOU’LL NEED: l Sticky ta pe l Glue We squeezed it shut so the glue would seal it. it’s stuck! 4 the to use ! d e i r t pen obb Mr Thr ldn’t get it o n e h W e cou tape, h i would do this prank on my teacher but i don’t think they’d be laughing! dad always takes too long to open the door! didn’t you hear us? it’s a deal! let’s shake on it! gnee-hee! sorry, boys. how about i build you a dog flap so i don’t have to keep letting you in? i know what this flap will be useful for! so… nearly done. later, at butch butcher’s… gnice sausages. grr! it’s those dogs! there’s something funny about this hairy customer! we can escape through our dog flap! WORDS: JD SAVAGE ART: BARRIE APPLEBY come back here! …and gnow dad’s in a flap! gnee-hee! i regret gnothing! gnerk! i’ve eaten too many sausages! i’m stuck in the flap! one mighty squeeze later… butch might catch us! hurry up, dad! phew! i’m free… my front door! What instrument does a show-off play? The brag-pipes! AN AT-AT ! a bb-8! TM This is the droid you’re looking for! The Life-Size Radio Control Inflatable BB-8 is the biggest BB-8 in the galaxy! It can follow you wherever you go! It can go forwards, backwards and spin! Six lucky readers will win one! Send the Empire’s forces into battle with this awesome remote control AT-AT U-Command! You can walk it in all directions while it makes firing sounds and lights up just like the real thing! We have one to give away! To have a chance of winning, just answer this question: in which star wars movie do we first see an at-at? A the empire strikes back B the force awakens C return of the jedi To have a chance of winning, just answer this question: complete the name of this jedi - luke...? A solo B skywalker C polo answer answer rare star wars cards! You could win this incredible Star Wars Masterwork Trading Card mystery box from Topps! It’s packed with special cards for you to discover, including a chance to find signed Star Wars cards! Plus, hidden inside you might find an animation cell, sketch card or even a film strip card! Three readers will win a mini box of cards AND a giant box of 60 Last Jedi Sticker Packets AND an amazing Sticker Album! look out for amazing star wars trading cards and sticker collections at toppsdirect.com! To have a chance of winning, just answer this question: which planet is admiral ackbar from? A coruscant B tatooine C mon cala answer HOW TO ENTER Email your answers along L I A M E Y with your name, date of B birth, parent or guardian’s name, address and telephone number to: firstname.lastname@example.org, with BEANO No. 3932 in the subject line. BY POST Send this page to: Beano Competitions No. 3932, DC Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ Name: ................................................................................ Date of birth: ................................................................... Address: ........................................................................... ............................................................................................. ............................................................................................. Parent or Guardian’s name: ........................................ Phone No: ......................................................................... Promoter: DC Thomson. The winners will be chosen by the Beano Editor. The judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. Closing dates for entries: May 9th 2018 11:59pm (GMT). Details of winners available on request. For our full competition T&Cs visit www.dctmedia.co.uk/brands/beano or send a large stamped address envelope to Beano Marketing, Copy of your Competition Terms, D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ. i promised your mum i would keep you busy this weekend. i can’t wait to see the jellyfish. the electric eels… AND the sharks! i also told her it would be educational! what?! question sheets?! a trip to the aquarium? thanks, dad! your first task is to count how many clownfish are in the average school. so… aha! i didn’t have to dig too deep for dodge 378ds. there’s something fishy going on. where has that boy gone? sigh. this feels like i’m the one in school. roger! get out of there now! one, two, three… grr! uh-oh! …ha! this is a piece of WORDS: DANNY PEARSON ART: BARRIE APPLEBY fish cake. later, at the touch-pool… stay here and learn about the common starfish. aren’t you having a go, dad? yuck! starfish, seaweed, crabs… i’m not touching those slimy sea creatures. really? one seems to be touching you, dad. on your shoulder! LIE ! arrgh! get it off! hey! get out of there. it’s not a paddling pool! careful, dad! you’re going to fall into the… i have a cracking dodge that should save me from having to answer any more of dad’s question sheets. hee-hee! excuse me, is the glass supposed to have a crack in it? this one here. what?! where? uh-oh. everybody, r-r-run! eventually… tanks to my dodging skills… …we can all enjoy the fin-tastic it’s reel-y funny! water laugh! beano! What does a shark drive into battle? A fish tank! FISH-DOKU! There’s something fishy about Roger’s plete sudoku puzzle! Can you help him com ? ring we it before the pong gets too overpo Fill in the blank squares in the sudoku grid by writing or drawing in the different sea creatures. Make sure the re is only one of each creatu re in every line and mini grid! Solution there’s a lot going on in edd’s head… edd is doing his maths homework… in the eye department, brainy is reading the first question… nine?! ouch! that’s bigger than three! calm down! it might be times two or three or something! WORDS & ART: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE but the seven times table is just a bunch of random numbers! nines are alL right. 9 x 7? one less than 7 is 6. you need 3 to we’ll do the one less and make 6 up to 9 so the answer’s make up to nine 63. trick. one less than 9 is 8. shall we you need 1 get back to the to get up to homework? 9 so it’s 81! you’re right. it’s too soon to panic. the next number is… arrgh! seven! now is the time to panic! what? what’s 9 x 8? one less than 8 is 7. you need 2 to make 7 up to 9, so the answer is 72. let’s not panic. what’s the next bit? sevens are the worst! twos? everything’s at least even. fives? ends in either zero or five. what dark magic is this? you’re like a maths voldemort! 9 x 9? edd looks at the next question… 7 x 7? urrgh! What do you call a lizard who does hip-hop? A rap-tile! this joke made me laugh out loud! jj Freewheeling freestyle fun! WORDS: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE ART: WAYNE THOMPSON yeah. what’s wrong with golf? nearby… fore! you’d be surprised, jj. CK! A THW i take it back! this is good exercise! and… TSH ! break my greenhouse, would you?! grr! betty & the yeti …99… 100! ready or not, here i come! WORDS & ART: HUGH RAINE so… well… walking about a field after a ball is hardly good exercise, is it? you want to play golf, spotty?! tsk! and now food wrappers! i mean, at least give me a bit of a challenge! The ordinary girl with the extraordinary best friend! white fur! he’s so rubbish at covering his tracks! yeti footprints! this is gonna be so easy. huh?! you’re kidding me! don’t worry, betty. the readers are here to help you on the next page! – ed YETI? WHERE’S He must be here somewhere. Can you help Betty find him? Solution you two need to give this place a going over while i’m out! it looks like a we need to give the house a good spring clean! i expect to see it sparkling when i get back! really? pigsty! don’t exaggerate, mum! aww! so that’s why my socks keep disappearing! we can do this! minnie, you do the dishes, i’ll start tidying up in here! gasp! look at all this washing up! hmph! fine! i’ll have to tackle it… minx style! chuckle! i’m making a splash with this so… typical! napping on the job! WORDS: ANDY FANTON ART: PAUL PALMER idea! hee-hee! job done! let’s see how dad is getting on. this will wake him up! he can sleep through anything! uh-oh! it’s out of control! huh? what’s going on? gotcha! and just in time, it could burst at any moment! i’m home! i’ll just take things up a notch! wow! you’ve done a great job, you two! it was no effort, really! it’s looking pretty tidy around here! you’ve missed a bit! never mind, i’ll get it! wah! you two are in so much trouble! you can say that again! time to make a clean getaway! i’m with you! no! don’t. Which type of animal plays the guitar? A strumming-bird! Oldies GOODIES! BUT Minnie’s found some ancient jokes behind the sofa - these classics never stop being funny! When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar! What is the longest word? ‘Smiles’, because there is a mile between its first and last letters! What happ en when you g s et fruit and custard stu ck in your ear ? You becom ea trifle deaf! Two fish are in a tank, and one says to the other, ‘Do you know how to drive this thing?’ How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it! these are real page turners! What do a you call ? g blind sta No eye deer! A man crutches on an wearing d camoufl ag stole my e gear bag… …he can hid he can’t e but run! What’s better tha n a talking bird? A spelling bee! Why are o pirates s mean? Because they just arrrrrr! What do you call a snowma with a su n n tan? A puddle ! Advertisement Ssh! Yeti hiding. * RY E V E T GE EFORE B COPY’S IN THE IT PS! SHO SAVE 0 5 . 9 6 £ ** E SHOP OFF TH ICE! PR TH WOR 9! 9 . 9 1 £ E M I L S e e r ! f R E a T PLUS BLAS PACKAGE Direct Debit 1 year Pre-pay 6 month Pre-pay INCLUDES FREE GIFT! Save £69.50! FREE GIFT! Save £58.50! FREE GIFT! Save £25.76! TOTAL PRICE PRICE YOU PAY PER ISSUE £68 £1.36 £79 £1.58 £42.99 £1.72 BE DEASLT! How to sign up… Ask an adult to help Visit beano.com/subscribe Call 0800 318 846 n Freephone from UK landlines and mobiles (MON-FRI 8am-6pm, SAT 9am-5pm) S *Direct Debit offer. Pay only £17 per quarter (only £68 for the year). One year minimum term applies. UK bank accounts only. Savings based on yearly newsstand price of £137.50. One year prepay options also available at: £79 (UK) and £117. (Overseas). Overseas customers please call +441382 575580 or visit our website. While stocks last. A replacement will be offered if no longer available. In order to offer subscribers significant savings on the cover price, cover gifts are not included in subscription copies and are newsstand promotions only! Closing date 9th May 2018. ** Save £69.50 with this Direct Debit offer. ubscribin by phon g Quote ‘S e? L to claim IME’ yo free gif ur t! what’s the matter, billy? are you chicken? cheep, cheep, cheep, cheep! not now, darren! i’m just enjoying a run! hey, billy! how about a race? come on, billy! you’re just scared because you know i’ll run rings around you! erm… is that meant to be a chicken impression? pfft! as if! see? i totally can run rings around you! haw-haw! ZOOM! i’ll run the ultimate circle 3.2 seconds later… billy sprints off… …i just ran a ring around you – the whole way around town! chuckle! oh yeah? WORDS: ANDY FANTON ART: WAYNE THOMPSON H! S O O WH earth doesn’t have rings. where am i? right! that’s it! huh? now how about that… around billy! hee-hee! looks like the ring is around you! laters! …oof! bah! HOP! HOP! TRIP! whoops! Why did the lion cross the road? To get to the other pride! reach for the sky! Who will win... ...the ultimate water blaster showdown? Hi! I’m Rose, but you guys can call me… You can be a Menace too! Email YOUR MENACE NAME to: MMAM@beano.com! At the art gallery… Nearby… My latest masterpiece! It took me two years! How rude! What? Later… …so Mum’s cross with me because I never put anything in the washing basket, but I’m like, ‘What about Dad? On his side of your bed there’s… Hi, Jillian. Is this your new baby? She… How rude! …stinks more than a donkey! WORDS: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE ART: HUNT EMERSON m ! ce a e me mena k a …a massive pile of pants!’ Nearby… Later… …and if Gnasher hadn’t scared that tiger into its own cage, who knows what would have happened! So as a reward I got him… …a bag of old bones! Hey, Grandad! Happy birthday! I was just going to say that you’re... I’m 92, you know! What? Nearby… …so I’m visiting the farm. The baby pigs and goats are cute, but I gotta say, nothing… How rude! WHAT is everyone’s problem? Why do they think I’m rude?! DON’T FORGET! Send us a brilliant photo of yourself with your Menace Name!