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The Guardian G2 - April 26, 2018

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Raw hatred
How the
Thursday 26/04/18
The future of pasta
From red lentil penne to
mung bean fettuccine
page 6
True bromance
When Trump met
Macron ...
page 8
Pass notes
№ 3,798
Glass matters: tumbler or tankard?
Up north, it is said of particularly indiscriminate
drinkers that they would happily “sup out of
a sweaty clog”. Occasionally (say, at 2am at a house
party), most of us would, but not Princess Margaret.
At the recent GQ food and drink awards, the chef
Richard Corrigan recalled the notoriously highmaintenance royal being so appalled by the tiny
glasses on Concorde that she once grabbed a vase
and used that for her G&T. But how important is
matching the right glass to your favourite drink?
Age: 502.
Appearance: Never when you’re expecting it.
It has improved though, hasn’t it? Not
compared to Victorian times, when Londoners
could expect post 12 times a day.
Still, we’ve got email and texting now. Which
is why the Royal Mail has to promote the
ancient art of letter-writing on social media.
A rich and storied history to pick from. What
are the odds it picked something appropriate?
Oh dear. It’s not running a campaign based on
the Zodiac killer’s correspondence with the
police? Not quite that bad. But it has festooned
a Stratford-upon-Avon postbox with quotes
from Shakespeare, and snapped the leads from
the RSC’s new Romeo and Juliet next to it.
Ah. That famous play where a letter saves
the day … Quite. As one wag put it on Twitter:
“Did anybody there actually read the play?
The entire point of the last two acts is that the
letter is too late. The whole tragedy is a bloody
advertisement for texting.”
Is this like how almost any episode of
Murder, She Wrote could have been solved by
Googling? Or how Oedipus could have been
saved by modern paternity testing? Yes.
It’s almost as though Shakespeare created a
series of conceits to drive his lovers apart. It’s
almost as though he wanted them to die.
Murderer! I’m guessing that’s why he set the
play in Italy, where the first national postal
service only arrived in 1862. Could be.
This seems like one of those PR own goals that
people on the internet go nuts over. Actually,
Royal Mail has refused to cower before the mob.
Very unsporting of it. What has it said? “We are
glad that this postbox has captured the public
imagination. In Romeo and Juliet, the letter in
question was hand-delivered from Friar Lawrence
to Friar John. Once in possession of the letter,
poor Friar John was quarantined against the
plague, so in these circumstances it seems
slightly unfair to blame the postal service!”
Well, these posties are always taking sick days.
A dated prejudice. The era when the company
was offering cars and holidays to employees
just for turning up to work is long gone.
That’ll be why shares are up by a third. Yes,
privatisation has been a roaring success for
people who aren’t the British taxpayer.
Do say: “I pray you, in your letters, When you
shall these unlucky deeds relate, Speak of me
as I am; nothing extenuate.”
Don’t say: “I’d hazard thee not to leaveth the
articles fresh from Amazonia ’pon my door’s
steppe, for fear they might dissolve into ether,
as phantasms do.”
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
Craft beer
With its bespoke Belgian chalices,
200ml kölsch stange and vase-like
weizen glasses (designed variously
to trap sediment, promote head
retention, release volatile aroma
compounds and so on), beer can get
very technical. But for most pintdrinkers errors are more prosaic.
Don’t serve ales in daft nucleated
lager glasses that make beer froth
like a volcano, nor pricey beers in
scratched old nonics. It is aesthetic.
It is psychological. But when you
are paying £4 a half for a rare US
double IPA, a stemmed tulip glass
makes the transaction feel less like
daylight robbery.
Many experts now reject the
traditional flute. Who knew?
It may be an elegant visual
showcase for champagne’s
bubbles, but its narrowness
(while it produces a fizzy
tingle on the nose) inhibits
the champagne’s character.
Try a wider, airier white wine
glass instead.
The scarcity of bulbous
brandy snifters in modern
bars is a sign of the drink’s
declining popularity and
a neglect of standards. That
curvy crucible sits snugly
in the hand for a reason (so
you can easily warm the
brandy), as its narrower neck
concentrates its heady aroma.
Serving brandy in a tumbler
is as disgraceful as putting
ice in it.
Princess Margaret’s thoughts on the
Spanish copa de balon (the huge,
stemmed fishbowls ubiquitous in
serious gin bars) are not recorded,
but in everything from how dramatic
they look garnished with rosemary
or peppercorn-studded ice to the
science (stuffed with ice, they
supposedly keep your drink colder,
less diluted and fizzier for longer),
the copa feels like a keeper. Goodbye
limp, watery G&Ts.
Undoubtedly, if you want to
experience good wine at its best,
you need specialist glassware. The
volume of air in your glass is key
to how wine expresses itself. The
expense and boning-up necessary
to achieve such marginal gains,
however, compounds wine’s
elitist image. In its emphasis on
relaxed enjoyment over uptight
appreciation, the recent push in
wine to popularise multifunctional
tumblers is a welcome revolution.
Tony Naylor
Can Crazy Rich
Asians change
I have been on my toes in
anticipation for Crazy Rich Asians
since Entertainment Weekly put the
film’s stars, Constance Wu and Henry
Golding, on its cover in November. It
has been 25 years since Wayne
Wang’s Chinese-American family
saga The Joy Luck Club and, ever
since, Hollywood has largely avoided
commissioning south-east Asian
(SEA) and east Asian (EA) stories. But
the movie’s seductive, funny trailer
suggests it will mark an important
moment for both communities’
presence in the mainstream.
Directed by John M Chu, adapting
Kevin Kwan’s bestselling book, the
film portrays the opulent lives of
affluent south-east Asians through
the conventional, commercial lens
of romantic comedy. The all-Asian
cast is led by Wu, best known for her
role in US sitcom Fresh Off the Boat,
playing an economics professor who
travels with boyfriend Nick (BritishMalaysian actor Golding) to
Singapore for his friend’s wedding
only to discover he is the son of the
richest family in town (“The Prince
William of Asia”, as she calls him).
As a half-Chinese woman born in
pre-handover Hong Kong, on-screen
role models of my own ethnicity
have been limited. Disney’s Mulan
from 1998 remains an important, if
flawed, part of my upbringing. The
persistent lack of SEA/EA stories and
ongoing negative pastiches and
stereotypes led producers to deem
our stories as “too risky”. However,
in recent years, these issues have
begun to be addressed.
Crazy Rich Asians has not been
without controversy. Golding was
forced to defend his own heritage,
and criticism of its representation of
people in Singapore persists. In the
UK, we still have a long way to go. In
December, there was a backlash
against BBC Three’s comedy pilot
Chinese Burn, which, despite its best
intentions, managed to reinforce the
stereotypes it claimed to break down.
But, as a great fan of romcoms,
the potential of Crazy Rich Asians
still leaves me enthused – although
whether it lives up to the hype of
being a beacon for change remains
to be seen.
Jingan Young
The art of the
feel: Trump’s
odd greetings
Wherever he goes or whomever visits
him, Donald Trump’s handshake
style makes headlines. Following the
latest awkward incarnation, when
the US president met his French
counterpart, Emmanuel Macron,
we have analysed five of his key
handshake techniques.
The ‘To me, to you, to me’ tussle
Trump approaches a handshake like
an arm wrestle. Clasp the hand, then
pull in sharply, to leave the recipient
off-balance. He has even used it
while sitting down. Japanese prime
minister Shinzō Abe was visibly
bemused after being subjected to
a 19-second Trump handshake.
Macron and the dandruff
Pointing out an imperfection is
another tactic. With Macron, Trump
brushed what he said was dandruff
off the French leader’s shoulder,
while telling photographers: “We
have to make him perfect.” Macron
maintained a dignified silence.
The ‘No thank you, ma’am’
A Trump refusal to shake hands also
speaks volumes. In one of the more
excruciating diplomatic moments
of his presidency, Trump simply
refused to shake hands with German
chancellor Angela Merkel, even
when invited to by photographers.
A new study
claims many
kids are as fit
as professional
Auvergne in
France showed
that children
aged eight to
12 have fatigueresistant
muscles and
can recover
quickly from
exercise. On
your marks!
I wanna hold your hand
Trump was notoriously hands-on
with Theresa May. Anxious to make
a good impression as the prime
minister became the first foreign
leader to visit the new president
in the White House, he was
photographed holding hands with
her as they descended some steps.
The pinkie dance
The one hand Trump seems to have
a less firm grip of is the first lady’s.
Video has appeared repeatedly to
show Melania declining or being
slow to grasp her husband’s hand
in public. So, Trump developed the
pinkie dance, repeatedly twitching
at Melania with his little finger to
encourage her to hold his hand –
much as you might when posing
with an embarrassed child.
Martin Belam
Avicii’s songs proved snobbery
has no place on a Saturday night
Making up for lost
time on Twitter,
Kanye West style
I did not know Tim Bergling, the 28-year-old Swede who died on Friday.
But I knew Avicii well. His bouncy, blatant electronic dance music was the
soundtrack to my first few years at university. In 2011, whether you were
drinking cheap wine out of a mug in someone’s room, or amid a heaving mass
of strangers at the same grimy nightclub you went to every week, or eating
pizza outside afterwards, it was only a matter of time before you heard his
breakout hit Levels. Often, you would hear it more than once, as DJs, buoyed
by the joyous reaction its opening bars
elicited, tried their luck to see if the same
trick would work twice. It usually did.
There was such appetite for Levels that,
when the rapper Flo Rida sampled it on Good
Feeling just a month after its release, his
take also topped the charts. The song was
ubiquitous in the way only a smash-hit single
can be, the kind that makes a specific time
and place feel written into the music. Many
of Avicii’s songs were like that: Wake Me Up,
You Make Me, Hey Brother, Addicted to You,
X You, I Could Be the One. He often paired an
upbeat acoustic guitar riff with an unlikely
vocal – a gospel-inspired Etta James sample
on Levels; the neo-soul singer Aloe Blacc on
Wake Me Up; an Adele soundalike (Audra
Mae) on Addicted to You – before launching
into his trademark frantic synths.
I now struggle to tell these songs apart, at least until the drop kicks in – but
they were never meant to be heard by an individual, through tinny earbuds,
in the daytime. These were the songs of Saturday night, 2011-14. If you
are in your 20s now and went to a nightclub, music festival, house party or
shopping centre between mid-2011 and early 2012, the chances are you had
an Avicii moment, whether you recognised it at the time or not.
There is a particular snobbishness towards Avicii’s brand of big,
unabashed EDM that relates to the notion that music of value cannot be
computer-generated or enormously popular, but the same distaste is
generally not applied to Daft Punk, for example. His is the kind of music that
is readily dismissed as something you “press a button on a laptop” to make.
Even now, when the divide between high and low culture is being
smoothed out, you may be more likely to “own up” to liking Levels than to
declare it proudly. But Avicii’s music was that rare thing in a world where
culture has atomised: the soundtrack to moments of pure, collective euphoria.
By defining the sound of a certain period, Avicii gave us a way to access it
years later. Many of the bars where I first heard Levels have closed down and
been reborn as nicer joints – but the opening bars take me straight back there,
to flashing lights and the first flushes of independence. For a friend I had
dinner with after news broke of Bergling’s death, the song evoked her last
years of high school. We had never spoken about Avicii before, and certainly
would never have introduced ourselves as fans – but I suppose I had known
innately, by virtue of our ages, that it was likely to be something we shared.
That is part of the joy of popular culture when it is properly popular: you
are in it with everybody else.
My pick for bon mot of the decade?
“I hate when I’m on a flight and I
wake up with a water bottle next
to me like oh great now I gotta be
responsible for this water bottle.”
That or: “What do I have to do
to get a simple persian rug with
cherub imagery uuuuugh.”
Both are tweets sent by Kanye
West in 2010, the first and
golden age of Twitter that West
played a fundamental role in
creating. The platform seemed
purpose-built to accommodate his
mile-a-minute inner monologue
(“Sometimes I get emotional over
fonts”; “I would like to thank
Julius Caesar for originating my
hairstyle”) and soon he had tens
of millions hanging on his every
140-character observation.
But, like many Twitter users,
West was clearly conflicted about
the platform, deleting his entire
oeuvre in 2012 on what NME called
“a black day for anyone who enjoys
the gushing firehose of randomness
and arrogance”.
Now he is back and apparently
in the mood to inspire. “Constantly
bringing up the past keeps you stuck
there.” “Everyone should be their
own biggest fan.” “Prince opened
up for Rick James. everybody starts
some where.” “You can say anything
as long as you put the right emoji
next to it.”
At the time of writing, West has
sent 140 tweets in 11 days. Late on
Tuesday night, he tweeted: “2024”,
suggesting his slated presidential
bid may have been set back four
years. The day before, West had
reiterated to a radio interviewer
his support for President Trump,
a similarly enthusiastic tweeter.
The specifics of West’s run remain
unclear, but if we can take tweets
as policy announcements now,
I would go for “practice [sic] pure
love” over talk of nuclear buttons.
Will I visit London’s lump of gunk? Fat chance
I have not gone to see the pride of London, the fatberg, on display.
I am left cold by the idea. But the seemingly bottomless interest
in fatbergs, evinced most recently by Channel 4’s “autopsy from
the sewers”, suggests I am in the minority. The most generous
explanation for this national fascination is that it allows us to
confront the physical impact of our single-use, plastic-is-fantastic
society. But my sense is that it is more about voyeurism and our
childish glee in being revolted – the same impulse that, when
we smell something bad, leads us to urge others to smell it, too.
To reiterate: no thanks.
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
The man accused of carrying out
the Toronto van attack has alleged
links with misogynistic Incel –
involuntarily celibate – groups. The
language they use is absurd, but
the threat they pose may be deadly
‘It is vile, unhinged
and completely raw’
➺ Words Zoe Williams
hen a van was
driven on to
a Toronto
on Tuesday,
killing 10
people and injuring 15, police chief
Mark Saunders said that, while the
incident appeared to be a deliberate
act, there was no evidence of
terrorism. The public safety minister
Ralph Goodale backed this up,
deeming the event “not part of an
organised terror plot”. Canada has
rules about these things: to count
as terrorism, the attacker must
have a political, religious or social
motivation, something beyond
“wanting to terrorise”.
Why have the authorities been
so fast to reject the idea of terrorism
(taking as read that this may change;
the tragedy is very fresh)? Shortly
before the attack, a post appeared
on the suspect’s Facebook profile,
hailing the commencement of the
“Incel Rebellion”, including the
line “Private (Recruit) … Infantry
00010, wishing to speak to Sgt 4chan
please. C23249161.” (“4chan is the
main organising platform for the ‘altright’,” explains Mike Wendling, the
author of Alt-Right: from 4Chan to
the White House.)
There is a reluctance to ascribe
to the Incel movement anything
so lofty as an “ideology” or credit
it with any developed, connected
thinking, partly because it is so
bizarre in conception.
Standing for “involuntarily
celibate”, the term was originally
invented 20 years ago by a woman
known only as Alana, who coined
the term as a name for an online
support forum for singles, basically a
lonely hearts club. “It feels like being
the scientist who figured out nuclear
fission and then discovers it’s being
used as a weapon for war,” she says,
describing the feeling of watching
it mutate into a Reddit muster point
for violent misogyny.
It is part of the “manosphere”, but
is distinguished from men’s rights
activism by what Wendling – who
is also the editor of BBC Trending,
the broadcaster’s social media
investigation unit – calls its “raw
hatred. It is vile. It is just incredibly
unhinged and separate from reality
and completely raw.” It has some
crossover with white supremacism,
in the sense that its adherents hang
out in the same online spaces and
share some of the same terminology,
but it is quite distinctive in its hate
figures: Stacys (attractive women);
Chads (attractive men); and Normies
(people who aren’t Incels, ie can
find partners but aren’t necessarily
attractive). Basically, Incels cannot
get laid and they violently loathe
anyone who can.
Some of the fault, in their eyes,
is with attractive men who have sex
with too many women – “We need to
do something about the polygamy
problem,” said the Incelcast, an
astonishing three-hour podcast
about the Toronto attack – but, of
course, the main problem is women
themselves, who become foes as
people, but also as a political entity.
There is a lot of discussion about
how best to punish them, with mass
rape fantasies and threads on how
to follow women without getting
arrested, just for the thrill of having
them notice you. Feminism is held
responsible for a dude who can’t get
laid, and birth control is said to have
caused “women to date only Chads.
It causes all sorts of negative
social ramifications”.
There are no numbers on how
many adherents this doctrine has,
or how extreme they are, “but it’s
not one tiny bit of Reddit” says
Wendling. “It’s big. It’s substantial.
It’s a movement that has tens of
‘The movement is
substantial. Tens
of thousands of
people visit these
message boards‘
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
Elliot Rodger, the
Isla Vista killer, in
a YouTube video
before his attack
in 2014
thousands of people who visit these
boards, these sub-Reddits, that are
safe places for them.”
Angela Nagle is the author of
Kill All Normies: Online Culture
Wars from 4Chan and Tumblr to
Trump and the Alt-Right. She says:
“There is a really interesting irony
in the Incel style of quasipolitics
– they are both a response to and
advocates of almost an Ayn Randian
view of romance and human
relationships. So they rail against
the loneliness and the isolation and
the individualism of modern life,
but they seem to advocate it as well,
in that they love the language of the
strong triumphing over the weak.
But they themselves are the weak.”
Their landscape is strewn
with completely unsquarable
contradiction: “They’ll say how
terrible it is that the left has won the
culture wars and we should return
to traditional hierarchies, but then
they’ll use terms like ‘banging sluts’,
which doesn’t make any sense,
right?” Nagle continues. “Because
you have to pick one. They want
sexual availability and yet, at the
same time, they express this disgust
at promiscuity.”
ncels obsess over their own
unattractiveness – dividing
the world into alphas and
betas, with betas just your
average, frustrated idiot
dude, and omegas, as
the Incels often call themselves,
the lowest of the low, scorned by
everyone – they then use that
self-acceptance as an insulation.
They feel this makes them
untouchable in their quest for
supremacy over sluts.
They borrow a lot of language
from the equality/civil rights agenda
– society “treats single men like
trash, and it has to stop. The people
in power, women, can change
this, but they refuse to. They have
blood on their hands,” read one
post the morning after the Toronto
attack. Basically, their virginity
is a discrimination or apartheid
issue, and only a state-distributed
girlfriend programme, outlawing
multiple partners, can rectify this
grand injustice. Yet at the same
time, they hate victims, snowflakes,
liberals, those who campaign for
any actual equality.
The less sense their outlook
makes, the more sense it makes, on
some elemental level. Coherence,
consistency, reason – these are all
tools by which we understand,
accommodate, include and
Reply all
‘Love never
enters into it.
Trust is gone.
It’s a very, very
bleak worldview’
listen to one another. In a purely
authoritarian worldview, those
are the rules you most enjoy not
playing by. That makes it very
difficult to formulate a response to,
on an intellectual level, let alone a
practical one: you can’t argue with
a schema whose principle is that it
will not brook argument. But the
regular alternative – ridicule – is not
necessarily wise, or right.
Elliot Rodger, the Isla Vista killer,
uploaded a video to YouTube about
his “retribution” against attractive
women who wouldn’t sleep with
him (and the attractive men they
would sleep with) before killing six
people in 2014. He was named by the
Southern Poverty Law Center (which
tracks activity on the far right) as
the first terrorist of the “alt-right”:
so even if Incels don’t describe the
full extent of far-right activity, so
far they have been its most
devastating subgroup.
There is this huge disconnect
between the threat they pose –
which is, even if we accept Rodger
as only a foot soldier, deadly – and
the things they talk about, which are
often absurd. In the sphere of the
“pickup”, seduction is weaponised
in the gender war: there is a huge
amount of discussion about its
finer points, but its core and only
principle is that you get women
to sleep with you (and behave) by
making them feel insecure.
When this, amazingly, doesn’t
work, Incels disappear down the
wormhole of the black pill: the game
is rigged from the start. Appearance
is everything. If you’re dealt a bad
hand, you’ve lost before you’ve
started. This escalates to violent
fantasy, since if the game is rigged,
then the only thing that will get
attractive women to sleep with you
is force. Attractive men are collateral
damage in the violent fantasy,
though it is interesting that message
boards can get away with a lot of
mass rape fantasy, only to be shut
down when a man starts fantasising
about castrating his male roommate.
From the way chatroom moderators respond to threats of violence
against women, to the reluctance
among authorities to name this as a
terrorist threat, I am filled with this
unsettling sense that because Incels
mainly want to kill, maim or assault
women, they are simply not taken
as seriously as if they wanted to kill
pretty much anyone else. Doesn’t
everyone want to kill women,
sometimes, is the implication? Or at
least give them a fright?
Their behaviour is often
ridiculous – someone last week
got a tattoo of Jordan Peterson’s
face (he is the pop philosopher of
meninism) across his entire arm. The
Incels’ folk hero is the 30-year-old
virgin wizard – if you can make it to
30 without having sex, you will be
endowed with magical powers. And
the threads are so pathetic that it is
hard to feel anything but ambient
pity (on the site Wiz Chan – subtitle
“disregard females, acquire magic” –
one thread titled How do I live in my
sedan? is like a short story).
Puzzling in the abstract, weirdly
inevitable in the flesh, their stance
combines that utterly flaky 90s
joking-not-joking (“Hey, I was only
joking when I said I wanted to rape
you! Unless we’re actually in an alley
and there’s no one else around”),
raging self-pity, false appropriation
and superhero costumes, all
delivered with the deafening rage
of the reptilian brain. It makes Four
Lions look like Wittgenstein.
But this fails to reflect, or reflect
on, what modern terrorism is: the
perpetrators don’t have to meet
and their balaclavas don’t have
to match. All they have to do is
establish their hate figures and
be consistent.
“The answer is not simple,”
Nagle says. “We end up talking
about, say, gun laws and all these
very surface things. But in America
in particular, the root of this is very,
very deep. It’s my view that the kind
of cultural revolution that came to
fruition in the 60s, where people
were questioning older institutions,
was very successful in the breaking
down of those institutions. But I
think it’s fair to say, if you look at
contemporary American society,
that there has been a failure to
replace those institutions with
anything new to hold society
together. So they would say:
‘Women are just out for themselves,
so the way to respond to that is to
get some muscles and trick them.’
Love never enters into it. Trust in
other people, it’s all gone. It’s a very,
very bleak worldview. And they’re
not getting that from nowhere.”
I dress in ways that I choose to because
I am influenced by a society and fashion
industry that in many ways is aimed at
the male gaze. Can this be counted as my
own, semi-empowered choice, or am
I kidding myself ? Lia, age 15
What a terrific question, Lia! I
often think that all those tedious
oldsters who wang on about how
young people today are narcissistic
snowflakes who only care about how
many likes they get on Instagram
should spend some time with actual
young people instead. Because, if
they did, they would see that young
people are more engaged and curious
about the world than any teenagers
I knew in the 1990s, primarily
including myself. I mean, I kept
myself busy as a teenager: wondering
whether I fancied Graham or Damon
more (Graham, always); clearing my
Fridays for a big night in watching
Whose Line is it Anyway? and
Eurotrash; or getting various parts of
my body pierced. But worrying about
patriarchal groupthink I was not.
You know, Lia, you can spend a lot
of time getting all Chomsky, worrying
about whether you think and behave
the way you do because you have
been brainwashed by the culture
around you, or, conversely, whether
you are the unique soul who has
the mental strength to fight against
this. Can I suggest an alternative
perspective? Be aware of the
influencers, sure, but trust yourself
and your fine mind to maintain your
individual agency. Any 15-yearold who worries about patriarchal
brainwashing is not going to fall for a ad campaign. Equally,
do not operate under the bad-faith
assumption that anyone who thinks
or dresses differently from you is
a sleepwalking, mainstream fool.
Accepting your and others’ individual
agency means accepting that
everyone should take responsibility
for their actions. Putting theirs
down to them being brainwashed
lets everyone off the hook. Own
your choices, Lia, and do others the
respect of letting them own theirs.
As to your clothes: yes, of course,
you are influenced by the fashion
industry. After all, you can only wear
what you can buy in the shops, and
the shops are the fashion industry;
so, unless you want to be one of
those people who get interviewed
on daytime TV because they insist
on dressing as badgers, what choice
do you have? But this does not mean
you are not making a choice. After
all, you are not buying everything in
the shops are you? You are making
choices from the options available.
This is not submitting to the
patriarchy; this is opting against the
badger onesie.
But let’s talk about the patriarchy,
shall we? Sure, some clothes are
definitely aimed at the male gaze,
but a vast amount are not. As
websites such as Man Repeller have
celebrated, and as endless men have
groaned about, quite a lot of fashion
is not about looking sexy – it is about
looking weird. Prada, Comme des
Garçons and Junya Watanabe are
just some of the high-end labels
that have built their success on
rebelling against conventional ideas
of sexiness. But aside from that,
even if the fashion industry was
entirely concerned with the male
gaze, the only question you have to
ask yourself is why you choose the
clothes you wear. Do you want to
make every boy stare at you? Or do
you just like that jumper, no matter
what the boys think? If the former:
yes, that is a bit tragic. If the latter,
enjoy your jumper!
Finally, one last thought. You ask
if your clothes can be your “semiempowered choice”. I realise we
live in an era in which anything,
from taking selfies to buying shoes,
can be described as “empowering”,
but this is, really, just nonsense.
Empowerment is about revolution
for the group, it is not about
shopping for the individual. So do
not worry about self-empowerment
when you are shopping; just think
about buying the things that you
genuinely love. And enjoy them.
Need style
Post your
to Hadley
Freeman, Ask
Hadley, The
Guardian, Kings
Place, 90 York
Way, London
N1 9GU. Email
You are not
to the
you are
the badger
Fancy dress is
not the only
option …
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
Penne pinching
Is legume pasta
a good idea?
Carb-heavy traditional pasta is out of favour, but
lentil and mung bean spaghetti are in vogue.
Rosie Sykes gives them a whirl
Fast food
Poké bowl
with chicken
By Jeremy
I wanted to create a poké bowl with
a cooked protein and, when well
prepared, chicken is extremely
tender – a similar consistency to
the sashimi-grade fish traditionally
used in this Hawaiian dish.
Hawaiian cuisine is heavily
influenced by Asia, and using
a Korean sauce preparation is
delicious. Gochujang paste is
versatile and, used lightly, lets the
rest of the ingredients in the poké
shine through, while adding panroasted corn brings both texture
and smokiness to the dish.
Cook the brown rice, ideally in
a rice cooker, and let it stand at
room temperature.
Combine the honey, sesame oil,
garlic puree, gochujang paste, soy
sauce, ginger and roasted sesame
seeds (keeping some back for
the garnish) and mix to make the
barbecue sauce.
Using a bread knife, remove
the corn kernels from the cobs.
Pan fry with a dash of rapeseed
oil until golden.
Dice the chicken breast into 2cm
pieces. Add a dash of rapeseed oil
k the
to a hot frying pan and cook
ntil it has a golden
chicken through until
move from the heat
colour. Then, remove
lespoons of the
and add four tablespoons
o the pan to coat
barbecue sauce to
the chicken, and put to one side.
e the rice evenly
To serve, place
at the bottom of your bowl. Then
n, red onion, fresh
place the chicken,
coriander leaves,, edamame and
roasted corn on top. Add some of
arbecue sauce and
the remaining barbecue
finish with fried onions
and the remaining
roasted sesame seeds.
20 mins
15 mins
For the rice
500g brown rice
For the Korean
barbecue sauce
80g honey
40g sesame oil
10g fresh garlic
40g gochujang
hot pepper paste
60g soy sauce
20g fresh ginger
peeled and grated
5g roasted sesame
For the chicken
2 free-range
chicken breasts
Rapeseed oil
For the garnish
2 corn cobs
½ red onion
thinly sliced
1 bunch fresh
coriander leaves
200g edamame
beans blanched
½ cup fried onions
Jeremy Coste is the
of Ahi Poké
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
asta is not as
fashionable as it was a
couple of decades ago.
The rise of obesity and
overeating, as well as
a growing awareness
of the benefits of high-fibre foods
and complex carbohydrates, has
meant simple dried pasta has taken
a dive in popularity.
To try to stem the tide of people
swapping the carb-heavy dish for
healthier alternatives there have
been various attempts at giving
pasta a wholesome makeover. Last
month a study claimed that eating
pasta could, in fact, aid weight loss.
Reading the small print, however,
it became clear that this is reliant
on a calorie-controlled eating plan
– small portions, in other words,
which isn’t necessarily what
happens in practice. Portion sizes
in pasta recipes are often 100g,
whereas a more health-conscious
serving should be nearer 55-75g.
But the newest kid on the pasta
block, sparking interest in various
shapes and sizes, is made with
legume flour. These pastas, made
from pulses such as red lentils,
split peas, chickpeas or black
beans, are high in protein and
fibre and are reeling the healthconscious crowd back in.
A wide range of health benefits
is claimed: legume pastas contain
four times the amount of fibre found
in traditional pasta (which is made
from durum wheat flour mixed
with water or eggs) and about onethird less carbohydrates. Legumeflour pastas can also be counted as
at least one of your recommended
five vegetables a day, while the amino
acids found in some legumes aid cell
repair and muscle and tissue growth.
Here we have a product that ticks
a lot of on-trend boxes – the most
salient of which is the high-protein
box. A low-carbohydrate diet, when
combined with high-protein foods,
is considered be a good way to
maintain a healthy weight and BMI,
among other health benefits.
The increasing popularity of pastas
made with legume flour might also
be attributed to the number of people
choosing to eat “free-from” foods. In
2017, industry magazine the Grocer
reported that sales of free-from goods
had risen more than 40% in a year,
to a market value of £806m. The
appeal of free-from options extends
well beyond those with intolerances
and allergies to substances such as
wheat, and is particularly prevalent
among 20- to 40-year-olds as part of
lifestyle choices that take account of
health and environmental concerns.
According to research by Mintel,
one in four people are choosing to
be free from certain ingredients,
but only one in five of them do so
on medical grounds.
Another big driver for the sector is
is the vogue for plant-based eating.
This is the ever-growing trend of
trying to live on a diet based on
vegetables, tubers, whole grains,
legumes and fruit, while excluding
or minimising dairy products, eggs
and meat, as well as cutting out
highly processed foods. There has
also been a rise in vegan-based
media, from dedicated cookery
columns and shows to films and
documentaries questioning the
sustainability of our diets.
Gone are the days when the only
alternative to traditional pasta was
the rather worthy wholewheat
version. New products are springing
up fast and furiously, breaking
out of health food stores and on to
mainstream supermarket shelves.
Sainsbury’s have introduced three
alternative pasta lines in the past
six months, with sales of legumebased varieties up 9% over the past
three months. Vegetables have long
been masquerading as pasta in the
form of courgetti and butternut
squash “lasagne” sheets – to name
but a few – but pre-made versions
have a relatively short shelf life.
So are legume-based dried pastas
the answer?
Plant-based proteins have been
found to be particularly beneficial
in the fight against cardiovascular
disease – and it is worth noting
that, although the protein count is
high in these pastas, they are not
necessarily “low calorie”. Instead,
they provide slow-release energy.
But how do they taste? Can they
provide a satisfactory alternative to
the stodgy quick dish still favoured
as an economical, easy comfort
food? We put them to the test.
The faddy eater
Red lentil
own brand
This pasta
stands out on
the shelf with its
bright orangered glow but,
once cooked (for
7-9 minutes),
the colour fades to a duller orange,
closer to traditional egg pasta colour.
It is relatively odourless – so a good
vehicle for sauce – and carries other
flavours well. The texture is a little
more toothsome than regular pasta,
but it has a nice al dente quality.
The packet suggests a 200g serving,
which would be difficult to manage
in my opinion – but which bodes
well in terms of portion control, at
least. On the plus side, if you could
manage it, a full serving contains
50% of the average recommended
daily allowance of protein. Probably
very good before a marathon. 6/10
L Bio Idea
A good, golden,
authentic dry pasta
colour and no smell
when the packet is
opened. This pasta has the longest
cooking time – 10 minutes – and
appears to be the most stolid. At first
it has no discernible odour or taste,
until a slightly bitter chickpea flour
flavour kicks in. That said, it’s not
overpowering or unpleasant, if you
like gram flour. In terms of protein
count, however, the chickpea penne
has the lowest of all the legume
pastas sampled. 4/10
Green pea
These small,
dark-green twists
look quite exotic.
Once cooked
(7-9 minutes),
they look more
like spinachinfused pasta.
There is quite a strong smell after
cooking and the same taste on
the palate just towards the end
– a slight hint of marrowfat peas,
which might make this pasta harder
to pair with more delicate sauces.
The texture is also quite floury but
lighter than traditional pastas and
not unpleasant. While these are not
as heavy as the red lentil pasta, it
would be hard to eat a large portion,
unless you were a particular fan of
that underlying mushy pea flavour.
This fusilli is also higher in protein
than the penne, with about 50% of
the protein RDA in 100g. 5/10
Edamame and
mung bean
Explore cuisine
This pasta does not
have the length
one might hope for
with fettuccine,
relatively short and slightly reptilian
(they have a ridgy appearance)
flat pieces. There is also a mild
chlorophyl smell on opening the
packet – a whiff of delicious green
veg. Once cooked (5-7 minutes),
however, they look more fettucineesque and have a pretty pale green
colour, with a slightly nutty but
not unpleasant or overwhelming
flavour. Definitely the easiest to
eat and really quite enjoyable.
A high protein count – again
about 50% of RDA – in this case
the suggested 100g serving is
definitely manageable. 7/10
Another nontr
traditional pasta
cropping up on
shelves, this is
made not from
legumes, but konjac flour (which
does not rival beans, peas or lentils
for nutritional value). These are
fried in a pan and take just three
minutes to cook. This spaghetti is
sold in the dried pasta aisle, but
arrives vac-packed in liquid and a
somewhat chemical smell emanates
on opening the pouch. The texture
is interesting – almost crunchy,
with a hint of the feel of seaweed or
jellyfish. Unlike the legume pastas,
this is very lightweight and can
feel insubstantial – not to mention
a bit joyless. 6/10
These new pastas
are high in protein
and fibre and are
reeling the healthconscious crowd
back in
Morwenna Ferrier
‘Bake in a Box
cake is so easy
to make, only an
idiot could messs
it up. Whoops!’
Dr Oetker’s Bake in the Box sounds like a cautionary
tale adapted for Netflix, but is actually a cake. If you’re
looking for nuance in the kitchen, this is not for you. But if
you are time-poor, appliance-shy or incompetent, then
it is. It is so straightforward to make, so utterly bake-bynumbers, I half-expected to find it came with a sachet of
enzymes to help you digest the thing. Alas not.
Dr Oetker launched its baking kits late last year with
little fanfare. The German-owned food company’s UK
branch is based on an industrial estate in Lancashire
opposite Crossleys, a company that repairs caravans
– another sort of box. Yet Dr Oetker has become one of
the leading manufacturers of frozen foods and baking
equipment. It dominates the market. Put simply, the
bake in the box cake is evolution.
I get my hands on the lemon and poppy seed loaf
(other varieties include banana and choc chip, and
double chocolate). To make it, you remove the lid and
empty the mix into the box. Whisk seven tablespoons
of milk in using a fork (since we’re on a convenience
tip, I use the same tablespoon) and pop into an oven,
preheated to 190C/gas mark 5. Remove after 10 minutes,
score a 1cm-deep groove down the middle of the cake
and return to the oven for a further 20 minutes.
This is convenience food from the same school as boil
in the bag and microwave meals: all designed to help
“overcome the barriers consumers face when it comes to
home baking”, says the company. It’s a valid argument,
although there’s something conflicting about the almost
tyrannical convenience and the fact that it still takes
30 minutes to bake. But it works, and the cake is fine:
lemony, dense, too sweet but adequate.
The good news is that Dr Oetker didn’t try to gender it
with a pink box, or deploy a fun font to make it look hip.
The bad news – and I discovered this after eating the cake –
is that Dr Oetker has a Nazi past. Richard Kaselowsky,
a past owner of the firm, was a “leading supporter” of
Hitler. The company’s president at that time – and son
of the original doctor – Rudolf-August Oetker joined the
Nazi party in the 1930s, news that was later exposed by
his son, August Oetker – to his credit – because, according
to a spokesman: “The business felt it important to be
transparent about any mistakes that were made in
the past, set the facts straight once and for all and do
everything to prevent anything like the Third Reich
happening again.” So there you go.
But back to the cake. Dr Oetker’s Bake in the Box is
ridiculously simple to make – it would take a colossal
muppet to mess it up and yet, I did. Halfway through,
I decided to add lemon juice to zhoosh it up – but in my
attempt to rip up the rulebook, as it were, I ended up
ripping the box. Simple for some, then.
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
‘Arm wrestle?
You know there’s
only one winner’
… best buddies
Will Macron’s bromance
with Trump pay off ?
Despite their political
differences, the French
president has nurtured an
unlikely relationship with his
volatile US counterpart this
week. No other world leader has
managed this – but could it
blow up in his face?
➺ Words Jon Henley
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
f all the
extraordinary images and effusive
displays of manly affection – hugs
and kisses, grins and thumbs-ups,
back-clapping, hand-clasping, yes,
even tree-planting (of an oak, as it
happens, from a wood in northern
France where more than 1,800 US
Marines lost their lives in the first
world war) – it was the oddest.
Staring intently at his young
guest’s immaculate suit, Donald
Trump abruptly stretched out a
finger, brushing something invisible
off Emmanuel Macron’s collar. “We
do have a very special relationship,”
he said. “In fact, I’ll get that little
piece of dandruff off – we have to
make him perfect. He is perfect!”
The French president,
understandably taken aback at
a gesture breaching all known
protocol for state visits, could do
little but grin, rather manically.
For French newspaper Libération,
this was “embarrassing”. For Le
Point, albeit tongue-in-cheek, it
was “humiliation, a brilliantly
executed blow, a stab disguised as
an endearment”.
That may be overegging things
slightly (the French news weekly
also reckoned it was deliberately
calculated to distract media
attention from the US president’s
own capillary issues, and underline
the 31-year difference in the two
men’s ages and what Trump would
like to see as a corresponding gulf
in status). But the paternalistic
dusting-down neatly symbolised
the risk inherent in Macron’s
Trump gamble. Almost alone
among Europe’s leaders in having
established a rapport with an
unpredictable and unpopular US
counterpart, he aims to stay close,
win concessions, and if possible
polish his own image – all without
getting burned.
It will not be an easy tightrope
to walk. While their personal
relationship at least appears genuine
enough, the political divide between
the two could not be wider, and the
concrete political differences – on
the environment, Trump’s planned
trade tariffs and the Iran nuclear deal
– are substantial.
The risk that it may all blow up
in his face, however, seems to be
one that Macron is willing to take,
a year after he stunned the world
by sweeping to victory in what
had once appeared an unwinnable
presidential election, subsequently
leading his new political movement
to a big parliamentary majority.
How it will all end is anyone’s
guess. But while it lasts, the TrumpMacron bromance – an unlikely
pair-up between an often incoherent
Like Trump,
Macron’s victory
laid waste
to his country’s
traditional political
‘He has endeared
himself to Trump
by showing him
a respect that the
establishment has
always denied him’
champion of nation-first, drain-theswamp, close-the-borders populism
and a brilliant young multilaterally
minded centrist from France’s elite
finishing school – is at least proving
Like Trump, Macron’s victory
came against the odds, and as a
result of having laid waste to his
country’s traditional political
landscape. (Macron, whose
rise entirely circumvented and
severely weakened both of France’s
mainstream parties, likes to call
them both “mavericks”.)
The first contact between the two
came in a call from the White House
on 8 May 2017. Praising Macron’s
“great win” and the “magnificent
pictures” from the new president’s
victory speech outside the Louvre,
Trump reportedly drew attention
to the qualities the two men had in
common: “You’re like me, a winner,
a dealmaker ... a trailblazer. We’re
going to work very well together.”
Once past their initial surprise,
Macron and his team swiftly
concluded that “whatever you think
of Trump’s personality, he is the
president of the United States, the
world’s No1 superpower and our ally
for 150 years, said one diplomatic
source, according to Le Monde.
“We’re going to talk to him.”
There were other incentives,
analysts note. Trump, unpopular
pretty much everywhere except
Saudi Arabia and Israel, enjoyed
“notably poor” relations with
Europe’s other main leader,
Germany’s chancellor Angela Merkel,
and with Theresa May, “apparently
because he is very ill at ease with ...
female leaders,” Laurence Nardon of
France’s Institute for International
Relations told the paper.
With May in any case sidelined
by Brexit, and Merkel, after 13
years in power, now weakened by
an unexpectedly poor re-election
result and saddled with an awkward
coalition, the path was clear for a
confident and supremely ambitious
Macron to step into the vacuum
and become the face of European
The new French and US
presidents met in person a fortnight
later, at the US embassy in Brussels
on the margins of a Nato summit.
The encounter was marked by a
handshake of unusual intensity:
a nine-second mano a mano of
white knuckles, crunched bones,
tightened jaws and fixed smiles.
Described by one who saw it at
close quarters as a “screw-you
in handshake form”, it was also
intentional. “My handshake with
him wasn’t innocent,” Macron
told the Journal du Dimanche
newspaper. “It wasn’t the be-all and
the end-all of a policy, but it was a
moment of truth.”
Leaders such as Trump, Turkey’s
Recep Tayyip Erdoğan and Russia’s
Vladimir Putin “see relationships in
terms of a balance of power,” Macron
said. “That doesn’t bother me. I
don’t believe in diplomacy by public
abuse – but in my bilateral dialogues,
I won’t let anything pass.”
Having apparently earned the
US president’s respect, Macron
sealed the deal by inviting Trump
and Melania to Paris last July for a
Bastille Day parade complete with
guard of honour, fanfare and massed
bands playing a Daft Punk medley,
accompanied by a visit to Napoleon’s
tomb and dinner at a Michelinstarred restaurant on the second
floor of the Eiffel Tower. Trump
enjoyed it so much he went straight
home and ordered a military parade
of his own.
That, analysts say, marked the real
turning point in the relationship.
Despite unconcealed disagreements,
such as when Trump announced he
was pulling the US out of the Paris
climate accords, the two leaders
have developed a relationship close
enough, for example, for Trump to
have called Macron twice after the
recent chemical weapons attack in
Douma, Syria, before he picked up
‘Let me just
point out
who’s boss’ …
the phone to May.
French officials are insistent that
their obvious rapport should not be
mistaken for an actual friendship:
Benjamin Griveaux, a close Macron
ally, has said he does not think the
two are “buddies. The goal is not
to have affectionate relations but
to establish some sort of personal
connection.” His aides hint at a
psychological ploy, a calculation that
demonstrating personal affection,
refraining from any direct criticism
and above all avoiding stoking
Trump’s notorious temper will prove
the best way of keeping the White
House more or less on side.
Macron himself has also said,
in an interview with the BBC,
that “sometimes I can manage to
convince him, and sometimes I fail.”
It helps, presumably, that there is
clear strategic interest for both sides
in a good relationship: to achieve his
international goals, Macron needs
the US on board.
For Trump, on the other hand,
Macron is “a partner who recognises
him, who welcomes him, who does
not lecture him, and who is not
afraid of him – which is important,
too,” says the Franco-American
political scientist Nicole Bacharan.
“So Macron is like an open door to
Europe for Donald Trump.”
Perhaps crucially, Macron is also
cautiously realistic about what he
can hope to achieve through the new
“special relationship”. It is already
progress, for some analysts, that in
Washington’s eyes the French are no
longer the “cheese-eating surrender
monkeys” that Republican hawks
called them during the Bush
administration for their refusal to
take part in the invasion of Iraq.
“Macron’s ambition is not
to influence Trump – he knows
he won’t be able to change his
positions, and that the only thing
that counts for Trump is his voters,”
political scientist Thomas Snégaroff
told Le Monde. “But he does hope
to be able to moderate his views on
certain points.”
Nor, perhaps, is the domestic risk
‘It’s OK, I’ve
got your back,
I really have’
‘Where is all this
leading to, you
strange man?’…
Trump takes
Macron for
a walk
of failing to win over Trump quite
as big for Macron as it may appear.
His ambitious plans for an “in-depth
transformation” of Europe are
encountering resistance, his vision of
a new partnership between Paris and
Berlin to breathe new life into the EU
bogged down in the slow-moving
realities of European politics. A year
into his presidency, the centrist –
elected on a sweeping programme
of pro-business reforms aimed at
liberalising France’s economy – is
also facing widespread (though not
so far overly threatening) protests at
home from striking rail workers and
angry students and public service
But most voters would
presumably not be surprised, given
Trump’s personality, if Macron
either failed in his bid to win
concessions or saw the US president
subsequently change his mind. And
despite his controversial reforms,
the president’s popularity in France,
although fluctuating, remains far
from catastrophic.
A poll last week for Paris Match
suggested th
that if presidential
elections were
we held now, Macron
would romp to victory with a firstround score of 33%, nine points
more than h
his score of May 2017. At
42%, his overall
approval rating was
double Fran
Francois Hollande’s and 50%
higher than Nicolas Sarkozy’s at the
same point in their presidencies.
His domestic
reforms may be
less popula
popular – but 57% said he was
keeping his electoral promises,
56% said he had boosted economic
growth and France’s attractiveness
to overseas investors, 67% approved
of his defence
defen of the EU, and 63%
said he had “improved France’s
image abroad”.
For the ttime being, the French –
who have traditionally
leaders wh
who strut the global stage,
such as De Gaulle and Mitterrand
– seem willing
to give Macron’s
apparently risky Trump charm
offensive the benefit of the doubt.
The Guardi
26 April 2018
Thursday 2
‘Washington wives’
… Tipper Gore
and the PMRC at
the Senate in 1985
of the
Filthy 15
In 1985, a group of powerful Washington women
launched a campaign to censor the ‘offensive’ lyrics of
some of pop’s biggest names. Nicole Lizée, at the time a
12-year-old metal fan, tells Dave Simpson why she has
turned their meddling into a riotous musical work
irst, I was stunned,
then I got mad!”
That’s how Mary
“Tipper” Gore –
wife of US senator
Al Gore – described
the experience of buying Prince’s
megahit Purple Rain album for her
11-year-old daughter, and listening
to it with her. Mrs Gore’s rage was
triggered by the track Darling Nikki,
which begins: “I knew a girl name
Nikki / Guess you could say she was a
sex fiend / I met her in a hotel lobby /
Masturbating with a magazine.”
Along with other wives of
powerful American politicians,
in 1985 Gore founded the PMRC –
Parents Music Resource Center – to
campaign for stronger censorship
in music. The initial list of songs
they considered “most offensive”
– dubbed the Filthy 15 – included
some of pop’s biggest names. Prince
had the top two entries – the other
was Sugar Walls, written for Sheena
Easton. Madonna’s mildly spicy Dress
You Up was less explicably included.
Many songs given the black spot
were heavy metal – the multi-million
selling likes of Black Sabbath, AC/DC,
Def Leppard and Judas Priest.
The furore went to the Senate and
resulted in the “Parental advisory:
explicit lyrics” sticker many of us
grew up with. Meanwhile, 800
miles away in Canada, 12-year-old
metal fan Nicole Lizée watched the
crows and
the joy
of tower
Julian Opie
reveals what
inspired his
latest works,
from Roman
friezes to
and being
bored… At
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
televised hearings aghast. “I loved a
lot of the artists in the Filthy 15 and
I couldn’t imagine someone telling
me that I couldn’t listen to them
without my parents’ say-so,” she
remembers. “It was ridiculous.”
Today, that distraught pre-teen is
a renowned contemporary/classical
composer, whose latest work takes
a revenge on the PMRC for which
she has waited 33 years. Lizée
promises that The Filthy Fifteen – a
mix of electronics, glitches, visuals,
narrative and music, performed by
percussionist Joby Burgess AKA
Powerplant, which shows at London’s
Barbican next week – will be “fingerpointing, lampooning, and seriously
It includes the voice of the PMRC’s
Susan Baker describing how Prince’s
“terrible song” would corrupt her
friend Tipper’s daughter. “So I put
her voice through a synthesiser
and made a groove out of it,” Lizée
chuckles. Elsewhere, she takes
incredible footage of Senator Paula
Hawkins holding up Def Leppard’s
album Pyromania before the Senate
committee and saying: “The message
is clear. Burn the building! Burn,
baby, burn!” and turns it into what
she gleefully calls a “fun singalong”.
“You know, they really thought
that Def Leppard were about burning
stuff. Aged 12, I loved that band. And
I burned very little, I have to say.”
Lizée’s show is timely because
pop is still the subject of moral
panics, drill music recently being
blamed for knife crime. Lizée says
that she wanted people to think,
“Did that really happen?” about
the PMRC but also argues that such
Bad influences …
clockwise from left,
Prince, Madonna,
Judas Priest
and Sheena Easton
1 Prince – Darling Nikki
(sex, masturbation)
2 Sheena Easton – Sugar Walls (sex)
3 Judas Priest – Eat Me Alive (sex)
4 Vanity – Strap On Robbie Baby (sex)
5 Mötley Crüe – Bastard
6 AC/DC – Let Me Put My Love Into
You (sex)
7 Twisted Sister – We’re Not
Gonna Take It (violence)
8 Madonna – Dress You Up (sex)
9 WASP – Animal
(Fuck Like a Beast) (sex)
10 Def Leppard - High ’n’ Dry
(Saturday Night)
nd alcohol use)
(drug and
cyful Fate
e – Into
11 Mercyful
en (occult)
the Coven
k Sabbath – Trashed
12 Black
nd alcohol use)
(drug and
y Jane Girls –
13 Mary
In My House (sex)
om –
14 Venom
di Lauperr –
15 Cyndi
p (sex/
She Bop
Not taking
it any more
… Twisted
suppression is “the origin of things
still going on today”.
Pop has long run into trouble
with the censors. Elvis Presley was
famously filmed from the waist up on
the Ed Sullivan show in 1956 because
it was feared his gyrating pelvis would
pervert the nation’s youth. But the
PMRC went further, making demands
ranging from “offensive” albums to be
sold under the counter to X-ratings for
certain concerts. Stars such as Frank
Zappa and John Denver railed against
artistic suppression at the hearings,
but not before the so-dubbed
“Washington wives”, with powerful
access to legislators, had sent tremors
through the music industry.
“It was terrifying, really. You
think, ‘How far is this going to go?’”
remembers Judas Priest founding
guitarist KK Downing, whose song
Eat Me Alive was in the 15. Gore told
the Senate that singer Rob Halford’s
lyrics – about a “rod of steel” and
“groan in the pleasure zone” –
advocated “oral sex at gunpoint”.
The band responded with a defiant
answer song, Parental Advisory,
but the guitarist admits that he did
My best shot
‘I did wonder, have
we gone too far?
But we were a
metal band. We
didn’t sing about
daffodils and roses’
momentarily wonder: “Have we gone
too far? But we were a metal band. We
didn’t sing about daffodils and roses.”
The furore took on a darker aspect
when two sets of parents sued Judas
Priest, alleging that subliminal
messages on the album Stained Class
incited their children to attempt
suicide – one fatally. “Seeing the
photos in court was horrifying,”
Downing says, “but we’d
already faced protests
outside gigs in the Bible
belt. We’d become a target
for religious movements.”
The case was
unsuccessful, and today
Lizée is incredulous
that pop music is still
linked with disturbed
behaviour. “Listening to
Mötley Crüe didn’t make
me sell my soul to Satan
or kill people.” In fact,
the music, which was
“scary and exciting, and
stirred up emotions and
imagination”, was her
gateway to the arts.
It wasn’t easy to
be a pre-teen headbanger in a
Saskatchewan prairie town. Lizée’s
peers ridiculed her Metallica
jump suit (“Later, when Guns N’
Roses made metal more cool, they
all wanted to borrow it) and her
parents disapproved of her posters
of a blood-spattered Mötley Crüe.
But her mother – perhaps aware of
what the censors did to her beloved
Elvis the Pelvis – stopped short of
confiscation. “I was given talks
every so often. ‘Why don’t you listen
to something … nicer?’ I had to turn
the volume down whenever there
was profanity, which was often.”
The PMRC categorised the 15
according to the type of outrage
created by the lyrics. Mötley Crüe’s
Bastard was rated “violence”. Cyndi
Lauper’s She Bop (in which she sings
of “picking up good vibration”)
came under “sex, masturbation”.
Mercyful Fate’s Into the Coven (in
which the hard-rocking Danes urge,
“Come into my coven and become
Lucifer’s child!”) was declared
“occult”. The band argued that
their work was entertainment and
no different to horror movies. Lizée
points out her religious upbringing
saw her exposed to far more
disturbing imagery: “I watched
movies showing Jesus nailed to the
cross, being whipped constantly.”
Her favourite Mötley Crüe album
was Shout at the Devil, which
supposedly contained Satanic
backwards messages. So one night
she and her brother played the
cassette backwards. “I pressed
rewind and play at the same time
and this horrible noise came out. He
went, ‘Oh my God. That’s Satan!’”
she laughs. “It was actually the tape
warping and screaming. Later we
realised that there weren’t Satanic
messages at all. It was all hype.”
Lizée first tackled censorship
with 2016’s Bookburners, her aural
lament for public incinerations of
books and records. Even the Beatles
had their music torched in public
after John Lennon’s infamous
“We’re bigger than Jesus” remark.
“But because of digital, you can’t do
that any more,” Lizée explains. “You
can delete it or cancel the streaming
service or whatever, but back then
it was such a passionate ceremony.
As wrong and ridiculous as it was, I
found it fascinating.”
Powerplant’s Joby Burgess had
been fascinated by Lizée’s work since
2011’s Hitchcock Études (snatches
of the director’s films made into a
giant loop) and the pair bonded over
metal. Burgess was a Crüe fan – and
listened to Zappa in his teens. He’s
now a father, “and yes I do worry
about the lasting damage to my
children caused by Little Mix,” he
says, drily. “But you don’t want your
parents to say, ‘Great record!’ You
want something that’s your own, and
that’s so important.”
For The Filthy Fifteen, the pair
assembled drums, a record player, a
typewriter, an electric guitar played
with brushes, ripped paper and a
vibraphone smothered in chains to
create a sensorial collage that Lizée
calls “the sound of censorship”.
She’s particularly proud of a
recording they found of psychiatrist
Dr Fredric Wertham in 1954, telling
another Senate committee that
comic books are responsible for
juvenile delinquency.
The PMRC won a battle but lost
the war. Although some stores
initially refused to stock stickered
albums, gangsta rap opened the
profanity floodgates and the stickers
actually became a selling point to
kids like Lizée, who “really wanted
to hear these records”.
Of the original 15, only WASP’s
deathless Animal (Fuck Like a Beast)
now carries an “explicit” rating on
Spotify. Lizée thinks the Washington
wives were sincere – “genuinely
frightened of these records” – but
misguided. “I wonder if they realise
how much they were in a bubble and
how ridiculous and illogical they
were,” she says. “They were attacking
some of our greatest artists.”
Powerplant: The Filthy Fifteen is at
the Barbican, London, on 1 May.
‘I burned
very little,
aged 12,
I have to say’ …
Nicole Lizée
George Byrne
‘It was a crisp Sunday morning and the streets of Minneapolis
were empty. It was like a ghost town. Then I turned a corner
and was met with this scene in front of the courthouse’
I took this in downtown Minneapolis, while on
a road trip from Los Angeles to Philadelphia.
I had just got my first car: an enormous 1999
Crown Victoria, an ex-police car I bought
off a Russian cab-driver in North Hollywood
for $900.
Why Philly? I had
The CV
a mate living there, so
Born Sydney, 1976.
with my new wheels
Training Sydney
I figured this was
College of the Arts.
an ideal time to hit
Influences Wim
the road and see the
Wenders, Stephen
country. It turned out
Shore, Piet
to be fairly gruelling.
Mondrian, David
I’d miscalculated the
distance – and the
High point ‘My
quality of my vehicle
first major solo
– so what I thought
exhibition in 2016.’
would be a three-day
Low point ‘Five or
drive was a solid fivesix years earlier,
day slog with little time
setting up tents for
for stopping. It was
an events company
intense: a foot-down,
getting paid $12 an
white-knuckle, baldhour. I hated it.’
tyres, 4,000-mile drive.
Top tip ‘If you
Minneapolis was one
know you’re good,
of the few stops I made,
don’t give up’
four days in. It was a
crisp Sunday morning
and I decided to go for a
wander with my camera. The streets
were empty. It was a ghost town: there was
nothing catching my eye. Then I turned a
corner and was met with this scene in front
of the courthouse: barristers marching around
and maybe 60 or 70 Muslims milling about,
the women separate from the men. I had no
idea what was going on but things seemed
a little tense.
I knew I only had seconds to get this shot.
I walked towards them, lifted my camera and
managed to get one photo before they got up
and moved. You can see in the image that the
women in black look like they’re trying to hide
– they weren’t happy I was taking a picture.
The one in pink didn’t move, though. She just
stared right back at me, which I think is what
makes the image interesting. To me, she serves
as a bridge: at a time when there is so much
Islamophobia and judgment in the western
world towards Muslims, it was a moment
of connection.
Later that day, I looked into what had been
happening: it turned out a couple of Somali
Americans had been accused of funnelling
money to some extremist groups in Somalia.
The court was in session and this group of
women were the wives, family and friends of
the men involved.
I don’t trawl the streets looking for this kind
of thing, but the subject matter is as interesting
as the composition itself. I didn’t crop it,
although I may have straightened up some of
those lines. Taking photos of people when they
don’t want you to isn’t my favourite thing. And
the truth is, most people don’t want you to take
their photo. But if you ask someone, often you
lose whatever it was you wanted to capture.
And there’s the rub. You can say that it’s in
the cause of art, and this noble profession of
documenting the world, which is an important
thing to do. But I don’t think that gives you
licence to do whatever you like. The key here
was proximity: I was maybe 70ft away. I wasn’t
in these people’s faces. I don’t think I was
making them physically uncomfortable. I’m
happy to photograph people from a distance.
There are, of course, brilliant American
photographers capturing life in the US. But
personally, I’ve always been triggered by
being in a foreign place. I am more likely to
be analytical, to notice every little thing.
When you’re an immigrant like I am, you
have hungrier eyes.
Interview by Nell Frizzell
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
Live reviews
Union Chapel, London
Brighton Dome
Touring until 8 May
s it thinkable for a group to
carry on when its creator
and sole continuous
member has died? Could
the Fall conceive of carrying
on without Mark E Smith?
Of course not, no more than the
Jimi Hendrix Experience could
have regrouped following Hendrix’s
death. Could Kraftwerk continue
were their only remaining founder
member Ralf Hütter to die? That’s a
difficult one, but not impossible and
not to be bet against.
Tangerine Dream’s founder Edgar
Froese died in 2015 and, despite
the qualms of his son, Jerome, the
band have put the proposition to the
test. Such is the nature of the group
– more of an organic, ever-shifting
sonic structure than a vehicle for
an autobiographical ego – that they
might just be able to pull it off.
Not that there isn’t a weirdly
cultic awkwardness when Froese’s
widow, Bianca, introduces this
gig, dedicating it to “our master”
Froese. One instinctively looks to
the exits to check they haven’t been
barricaded. The group’s most recent
album maintains Froese’s spirit by
working from sketches and ideas he
had in gestation prior to his death.
Band leader Thorsten Quaeschning
is Froese’s “chosen successor”.
Tonight, he is part of a threesome
that also includes violinist Hoshiko
Yamane, a welcome presence in a
room whose white, male middle
aged-ness is crown green bowls-like
in its dominance. Unfortunately, her
meandering contributions don’t add
much to the mix. Tangerine Dream
now thrive on the creative contrast
between the earnest prog presence
of Quaeschning and the modernistic
Ulrich Schnauss – a man steeped
in My Bloody Valentine and Berlin
techno – on sequencer and rhythms.
Schnauss’s influence is what makes
2017’s Quantum Gate the Dream’s
most interesting release in years.
In the first half of the set, the band
rove from present to past, taking in
numbers such as Dolphin Dance,
from 1986. Not that Tangerine
Dream, unlike Kraftwerk, are a
greatest hits-style band. They
omez’s debut album
Bring It On has had a
curious afterlife. It was
the most commercially
successful iteration
of a post-Britpop
musical mood that also informed
the Beta Band’s early EPs: a reaction
to gloss and bombast involving a
stoned melding of rootsy music with
lo-fi electronics. The album went
platinum and won the Mercury prize,
but Gomez never quite scaled those
heights again. They endured a critical
backlash, became a live draw in the
US and quietly split in 2011.
But Bring It On occupied a longerlasting place in the public affection
than perhaps even Gomez realised.
It topped a 2016 BBC 6 Music poll of
listeners’ favourite Mercury winners.
Now this 20th-anniversary tour has
sold out. And as the quintet take the
stage for its first date, the midweek
album chart reveals their four-CD
deluxe reissue is in the Top 20.
Listening to them play the album
in its entirety, you can understand
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
Re-formed postBritpopper …
Ben Ottewell
why. Part of its continued appeal is
nostalgic, compounded by the fact
that Bring It On was staffed with songs
about druggy youthful escapades that
evidently soundtracked more of the
same: passing time has lent a
patina of melancholy to Whippin’
Piccadilly’s refrain: “There’s not
enough hours in our lives.”
But the album is also more vibrant
are more experiential. In the 70s,
despite the ostensible gloom of
teetotal Froese’s philosophy (antihedonistic, depicting a cosmos
majestically indifferent to the
trivial concerns of humanity), they
filled if not stadiums then certainly
cathedrals with their impressively
impersonal spectacle of stacked
synths and laser
shows. Whereas
The visuals
are luminous other krautrock
bands were
impeded initially
by their Germanorbs of light
ness, no such
and 80s Top
qualms affected
of the PopsTangerine
style video
There are
visuals tonight
– luminous
exploding orbs of light, 80s Top
of the Pops-style video graphics
– but we are more jaded by such
sensations in 2018 than we were in
the 70s. Still, Schnauss’s vaulting
rhythms add thrilling spikes to the
sometimes ponderous grandeur.
The second half is a throwback
to the band’s 70s heyday – lengthy
dialogues between scampering
curlicues of sequencer and remote
waves of analogue synth. It’s the
stuff to please the old brigade but
if Tangerine Dream are to have a
post-Froese future, they should pay
more homage to their earliest works,
which, unlike their output from
the 1980s onwards, are timeless in
their anticipation of dark ambient.
Combine that with the cutting edge
of Schnauss’s rhythmic sensibility
and Tangerine Dream could be
more than a travelling period piece.
They could carry on speaking to
new generations.
Rendered stateless when his
native East Prussia was erased
after the second world war, Froese
constructed an imaginary, electric
abode in the skies. It deserves to live
on after him.
David Stubbs
and idiosyncratic than the fusty
campaign-for-real-rock image Gomez
got lumbered with would allow. The
music flits about, as if trying to cram
the band members’ entire record
collections into a single album:
grinding guitar noise, primitive drum
machines, psych-y vocal interludes,
blues riffs, shambling funk rhythms.
It would be a mess if the songwriting
weren’t so strong. If the music
occasionally sounds gauche, it more
frequently holds up: the brooding
Get Miles, or Get Myself Arrested’s
jubilant chorus.
Indeed, Gomez occasionally sound
weirdly prescient. In 1997, Ben
Ottewell’s prematurely aged blues-y
growl seemed a peculiar thing to be
emanating from a Derbyshire 20-yearold. Today, in post-Amy Winehouse
world, prematurely aged blues-y
vocals are a pop trope. The audience’s
ecstatic response seems to take the
band aback: “Joy! Joy!” says guitarist
Tom Gray, raising an eyebrow at
a vociferous round of applause.
Alexis Petridis
everywhere …
Kirsty Stuart
and Peter Collins
Traverse, Edinburgh
At the Tron, Glasgow, 16-19 May
hen Iago causes
Othello to
doubt himself,
it only takes
the slightest
trigger for the
seed of jealousy to take root. It’s
the same in Frances Poet’s Gut,
except what gnaws away at Kirsty
Stuart’s Maddy, turning her from a
sparky young mother into a neurotic
creature of violent intent, is the
possibility – just the possibility
– that her toddler, Joshua, has
been abused by a stranger.
The evidence is as circumstantial
as Desdemona’s misplaced
handkerchief, but such is her
instinct to protect – initially
supported and sometimes
exceeded by Peter Collins as her
even-tempered husband – that she
starts to see danger everywhere.
It’s in the sequence of neighbours
played with creepy ambivalence by
George Anton; it’s in the intrusive
questioning of social services;
it’s even in Lorraine McIntosh’s
sweet and caring mother-in-law.
The references to Jimmy Savile
and Gary Glitter might have lost their
topical sting since her script was
nominated for the Bruntwood prize
in 2015, but today’s Mumsnet
generation will recognise Poet’s
cocktail of real and perceived hazards.
Hers is a vision of a society where
hypervigilance has replaced trust,
where the gap between sensible
parental oversight and pathological
control is frighteningly small.
The play holds the audience
spellbound because Maddy’s
uncertainty is so plausible; when it
comes to the crunch, how good is
anybody’s gut instinct? In Zinnie
Harris’s clean, sharply focused
production, this tension takes visual
form as upturned boxfuls of nursery
toys disrupt the cool lines of Fred
Meller’s set. Chaos is just around the
corner. If Poet softens the final blow,
she nonetheless exposes a fault line
of social dysfunction with a
relentless and transfixing logic.
Mark Fisher
Cosmic grandeur …
Tangerine Dream
TV and radio
Watch this
True Horror
10pm, Channel 4
Britain’s Fat Fight
A bit Derek Acorah, a bit Blair Witch – these
accounts of real-life paranormal activity are
dramatised in an impressively spooky show.
A limited budget often forces creativity’s
hand, particularly in horror, and so it proves
here, where the tale of Samantha and Jason’s
haunting by Jason’s dead dad, Jimmy, offers
sinister shadows, a chorus of insistent banging
and mountingly strange paranormal activity.
“I’m too wicked to die,” Jimmy said before his
passing – and that is only the start of it.
Sam Wollaston
How does Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall
take on obesity? By doorstepping
Big Cereal and flogging cabbages
f you are in the food industry, the last thing you
want popping into your inbox is an email from
Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall. Congratulating
you on the delicious crunchiness of your
chocolate-flavoured rice-based breakfast cereal?
Er, no, he wants an on-camera interview.
Ignoring it is not going to make it, or him, go away.
That will just lead to one of his stunts; he will show up
with a megaphone and set up something outside your
building that could embarrass you.
What is he on about now? He has done fish and waste;
this time, it is Britain’s ballooning obesity crisis, AKA
Hugh’s war on waist. Two-thirds of us are overweight.
I say “us”; obviously, I am one of the 33%, call me
Sammy One Belly. To prove it, I will just pop my stats
into this BMI calculator …
WTF! Not by much, but undeniably I am part of
the crisis – more at risk of heart disease, stroke, type 2
diabetes – that is crippling the NHS. The working-fromthe-sofa plus chocolate-snacking approach does not
seem to be paying dividends.
Hugh – also one of the two-thirds, call him Huge
Fearnley-Whittingstall – takes a bunch of kids to Tesco
and sends them off on their own Supermarket Sweeps,
where they can fill their trolleys with whatever they like.
They come back with fresh fish, brown rice, kale … oh,
no, they do not. They fill their trolleys with chocolates
and sweets, fizzy drinks, branded desserts and cereal.
The average child eats twice as much sugar as they
should. This sets up a pattern of bad eating habits for
life – and the problem is only going to get worse.
Hugh particularly takes issue with the cereal,
especially that some big players – yes, you, Kellogg’s and
Nestlé – are not using the traffic-light labelling system
that clearly shows a product’s sugar contents, but are
doing it in less obvious monochrome. Think about it: if
traffic lights were monochrome, if it just said “stop” in
black on a white background, would you be more or less
likely to do so? Exactly: my big fat car crash.
Hugh is thinking along similar lines, because, after his
polite emailed requests for interviews are sidestepped
and declined, he trundles to Nestlé HQ with a traffic light
on wheels; maybe that will make the company listen.
“I do quite like these moments of mischief,” he
admits. I do, too. A good old-fashioned stunt – bold, a bit
squirmy, fun. And in doing them he makes a subject that
could be joyless and preachy a bit of a giggle – and highly
watchable TV. Sugar-coating the message, you might say.
It is the same with him setting up a sweet stall outside
WH Smith in Slough. It is shocking, the way the stationer
(!) kettles you into the corridor of temptation on the
way to the checkout, with shiny, brightly coloured
whispered messages coming at you from all sides. There
is a further attack on your resolve at
the self checkout, plus free Maccy D’s
vouchers. It is a disgrace.
Hugh’s other project, to see how
much weight an entire city can lose
over the course of a year, may have
been misguided – posh, doublebarrelled TV chap travels to the north
The average
to tell the locals to eat broccoli instead
child eats
of chips – but he is humble and honest
twice as
about it. When a lady called Julie stops
much sugar
in Newcastle upon Tyne city centre
as they
and tells him that he should be talking
to people in more deprived parts of
town to understand the challenges
they face, he listens and goes with her
to Walker. Then, Hugh sets up a veg
van, from which he tries to sell them
cabbages at wholesale price. It is not entirely successful.
Mostly looks of “What the hell is one of them?”. This
is not going to happen overnight. And Majid, of Majid
Store, is not best pleased. Hugh is on his patch.
There is some good news: Nestlé is going to introduce
colour-coded labelling on its products in the UK! Behold
the power of the stunt, the wheelie traffic light and the
celebrity chef. Now, over to you, Kellogg’s. And let’s
join Hugh’s campaign: @WHSmith please stop pushing
chocolate at the checkout #WHSugar.
Ah look, there is the Domino’s app, on my phone.
Plus Just Eat, Deliveroo, I am feeling a bit peckish ... No!
I’m going to get up from this sofa and go hunting and
foraging, at least walk somewhere, to buy a cabbage,
whatever one of them is. This is not going to be easy.
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
John Robinson
Paul O’Grady: For the
Love of Dogs – India
8.30pm, ITV
I met Sofia Helin
– Saga Norén
in The Bridge!
She is really
nice, warm and
friendly, not
at all like Saga.
It was a special
reception at
the Swedish
embassy: with
these pickled
herrings, you
are really
spoiling us
In this new series, the
comedian meets those
who dedicate their lives
to helping abandoned
pups in Delhi. First
up, a street dog with
a potentially fatal virus
and a golden retriever
that can’t stop chewing
its paw. Plus: O’Grady
rolls up his sleeves to
save a litter of puppies
from certain death.
Candice Carty-Williams
9pm, BBC One
It is hard to think of
a branch of the emergency
services that has not
been the focus of at
least one visceral and
revealing fly-on-the-wall
TV series. That said, they
are reliably fascinating
viewing, provoking
much counting of
blessings. As this series
returns, things get
personal for paramedic
Nat. Phil Harrison
Harold Shipman:
Doctor Death
9pm, ITV
This documentary about
Britain’s deadliest serial
killer boasts access to
police interrogation tapes,
as well as interviews with
investigating officers
and witnesses – many of
whom are on the record
for the first time since the
trial. The police recall how
quickly it became clear
that this was the case of
a lifetime. Jack Seale
Michael Portillo:
Our Housing Crisis –
Who’s to Blame?
10pm, Channel 5
Who is to blame? You,
Mr Portillo, you and
your fellow Tories, with
your eventual Labour
usurpers doing little to
alleviate the problem,
one is tempted to shriek.
Here, Portillo visits estates
and interviews residents
to discover the reality of
council housing today.
David Stubbs
10.45pm, Sky Atlantic
A hitman who is tired
of life – his own, to clarify
– accidentally discovers
his true vocation in a
drama class. Yes, this
new US comedy has a
tricksy, high-concept
set-up, but it is dark and
funny, too. Saturday
Night Live alumnus
Bill Hader stars as
professional killer Barry,
with Henry Winkler
as his acting teacher.
Jonathan Wright
Channel 4
Channel 5
Breakfast (T) 9.15 Rip
Off Britain: Food (T) 10.0
Homes Under the Hammer
(T) 11.0 Heir Hunters (T) 11.45
The Housing Enforcers (T)
12.15 Bargain Hunt (T) (R) 1.0
News (T) 1.30 Regional News
(T) 1.45 Doctors (T) 2.15
800 Words (T) 3.0 Escape
to the Country (T) (R) 3.45
Flipping Profit (T) 4.30 Flog
It! (T) (R) 5.15 Pointless
(T) 6.0 News and Weather
(T) 6.30 Regional News
and Weather (T) 7.0 One
Show (T) 7.30 EastEnders
(T) Arshad is frantic after
Harley’s kidnapping.
Flog It! Trade Secrets (T) (R)
6.30 Heir Hunters (T) (R)
7.15 Rip Off Britain: Food (T)
(R) 8.0 Sign Zone: Natural
Curiosities (T) (R) 8.30 Kate
Humble: Off the Beaten
Track (T) (R) 9.0 Victoria
Derbyshire (T) 11.0 BBC
Newsroom Live (T) 12.0 Daily
Politics (T) 1.0 Live Snooker:
The World Championship
(T) The sixth day’s play,
featuring the conclusion of
the penultimate first-round
match involving Anthony
McGill. 6.0 Eggheads (T)
(R) 6.30 Britain in Bloom
(T) 7.0 Antiques Road Trip (T)
Countdown (T) (R) 6.45
3rd Rock from the Sun
(T) (R) 7.35 Everybody
Loves Raymond (T) (R)
8.30 Frasier (T) (R) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (T) (R)
11.0 Undercover Boss USA
(T) (R) 12.0 News (T) 12.05
Coast v Country (T) (R) 1.05
Posh Pawnbrokers (T) (R)
2.10 Countdown (T) 3.0 A
Place in the Sun: Home or
Away (T) (R) 4.0 Escape to
the Chateau: DIY (T) 5.0 Four
in a Bed (T) (R) 5.30 Buy It
Now (T) 6.0 The Simpsons
(T) (R) 6.30 Hollyoaks (T)
(R) 7.0 News (T)
The Truth About Obesity
(T) Chris Bavin seeks out
the latest research into the
Ambulance (T) New series.
Documentary about the
West Midlands ambulance
service. A day shift takes
an unexpected turn for Nat
when a 999 call suddenly
becomes very personal.
Super Fast Falcon (T) The
secrets of the peregrine
falcon, the world’s fastest
Civilisations (T) Simon
Schama considers art
in the modern world.
Should it create a realm
to help people escape or
transform the way they
live? Last in the series.
Location, Location, Location
(T) Phil Spencer catches up
with two first-time buyers:
Keon and Zoe, who searched
west and south London;
and Laura and Phil, who
wanted to settle in Bath.
999: What’s Your
Emergency? (T) Wiltshire
police deal with young
10.0 News (T)
10.30 Regional News and
Weather (T)
10.45 Question Time (T) Topical
debate from Bury St
Edmunds, Suffolk.
11.45 This Week (T) Andrew Neil
introduces round-table
political chat, with Michael
Portillo and other guests.
12.30 Weather (T) 12.35 News (T)
10.0 MOTD: The Premier League
Show (T) With Gabby Logan.
10.30 Newsnight (T) Weather
11.15 Snooker: The World
Championship (T)
12.05 Snooker: World
Championship Extra (T)
2.05 Sign Zone: MasterChef
(T) (R) 2.35 The Secret
Helpers (T) (R) 3.35 Murder,
Mystery and My Family (R)
Good Morning Britain
(T) 8.30 Lorraine (T) 9.25
The Jeremy Kyle Show (T)
10.30 This Morning (T)
12.30 Loose Women (T)
1.30 News (T) 1.55 Local
News (T) 2.0 Judge Rinder
(T) 3.0 Tenable (T) 3.59
Local News and Weather
(T) 4.0 Tipping Point (T)
5.0 The Chase (T) 6.0
Local News (T) 6.30 News
(T) 7.0 Emmerdale (T) Moira
is stunned by a revelation.
7.30 Tonight: Secrets of Your
Online Shop (T) Ranvir Singh
investigates consumers’
rights when shopping online.
Emmerdale (T) Charity
and Vanessa fear for
Tracy’s safety.
8.30 Paul O’Grady: For the
Love of Dogs – India
(T) New series.
9.0 Harold Shipman: Doctor
Death (T) Detectives speak
for the first time about how
Shipman got away with
murdering 250 patients.
10.0 News (T)
10.30 Local News (T)
10.45 Uefa Europa League
Highlights (T) The semifinal first-leg matches.
11.45 Play to the Whistle (T) (R)
12.20 Lethal Weapon (T) (R) 1.05
Give It a Year (T) (R) 1.30
Jackpot247 3.0 Tonight
(R) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 Jeremy Kyle (T) (R)
10.0 True Horror (T) Docudrama.
A mother who fears her
father-in-law has returned
from the dead with a horrific
plan to steal her children.
11.05 Gogglebox (T) (R)
12.0 The Real Football Fan Show
(T) 12.35 The Island (T) (R)
1.30 Secret Life of the Zoo
(T) (R) 2.25 Class of Mum
and Dad (T) (R)
Other channels
6.0am Home Shopping
7.10 Scrapheap Challenge
8.10 American Pickers
9.0-10.0 Storage Hunters 10.0-1.0 American
Pickers 1.0-3.0 Top Gear
3.0 Sin City Motors 4.0
Steve Austin’s Broken
Skull Challenge 5.0 Top
Gear 6.0 Room 101
6.40-8.0 Would I Lie to
You? 8.0 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 9.0
QI XL 10.0 Uncle 10.4012.0 Mock the Week
12.0-1.20 QI 1.20 Mock
the Week 2.0-3.15 QI
3.15 Parks and Recreation
3.40 The Indestructibles
4.0 Home Shopping
All programmes to 7pm
are double bills 6.0am
Hollyoaks 7.0 Rules of
Engagement 8.0 How
I Met Your Mother 9.0
New Girl 10.0 2 Broke
Girls 11.0 Brooklyn NineNine 12.0 The Goldbergs
1.0 The Big Bang
Theory 2.0 How I Met
Your Mother 3.0 New Girl
4.0 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
5.0 The Goldbergs 6.0
The Big Bang Theory 7.0
Hollyoaks 7.30 Extreme
Cake Makers 8.0 The
Big Bang Theory 8.30
Young Sheldon 9.0
Brooklyn Nine-Nine 9.30
Derry Girls 10.0 The
Inbetweeners 10.35 The
Windsors 11.10-12.0 The
Big Bang Theory 12.10
First Dates 1.15 Tattoo
Fixers 2.15 Gogglebox
3.10 The Inbetweeners
3.40 The Windsors 4.05
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
4.30-6.0 Rules of
11.0am Samson
and Delilah (1949) 1.35
The Spoilers (1955)
3.15 Retreat, Hell!
(1952) 5.05 Winchester ’73 (1950)
6.55 Never Been
Kissed (1999) 9.0 Prisoners (2013) 12.0
Everly (2014)
1.50 Cheap
Thrills (2013)
6.0am The Planet’s
Funniest Animals 6.207.10 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records
7.10 Who’s Doing the
Dishes? 7.55 Emmerdale
8.20-9.25 Coronation
Street 9.25 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show 10.20
The Bachelorette 12.15
Emmerdale 12.45-1.45
Coronation Street 1.45
The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 2.35-6.0 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 6.0
Take Me Out 7.30 You’ve
Been Framed! Gold
8.0-9.0 Two and a Half
Men 9.0-10.0 Family
Guy 10.0 Celebrity Juice
10.50-11.45 Family Guy
BBC Four
Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 The Yorkshire
Vet: A Five Legged Lamb
& Other Curious Creatures
(T) (R) 12.10 News (T) 12.15
GPs: Behind Closed Doors
(T) (R) 1.10 Access (T) 1.15
Home and Away (T) 1.45
Neighbours (T) 2.15 NCIS
(T) (R) Engaged, Part Two
3.15 Patricia Cornwell’s
The Front (Tom McLoughlin,
2010) (T) Mystery with Andie
MacDowell. 5.0 News (T)
5.30 Neighbours (T) (R) 6.0
Home and Away (T) (R) 6.30
News (T) 7.0 The Nightmare
Neighbour Next Door (T) (R)
Bad Tenants, Rogue
Landlords (T) A landlord
offers a former tenant the
use of a spare room but
then struggles to evict her.
Includes news update.
Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (T) Stewart and Vic
take on an eviction case and
find a volatile tenant who
refuses to back down.
10.0 Michael Portillo: Our
Housing Crisis – Who’s to
Blame? (T) The story of the
social housing revolution.
11.30 Where There’s Blame,
There’s a Claim (T) (R)
12.0 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs:
Behind Closed Doors (T) (R)
4.0 Tattoo Disasters UK (T)
(R) 4.45 House Doctor (T)
(R) 5.10 Wildlife SOS (R)
Beyond 100 Days (T)
7.30 Top of the Pops:
1985 (T) John Peel and
Janice Long present the
edition from 29 August,
including music by Dan
Hartman, D Train, Madness
and the Thompson Twins.
Dive WWII: Our Secret
History (T) The team
uncover more U-boats
as well as submarines
sunk as part of the
German surrender.
Putin, Russia & the West
(T) An insight into Barack
Obama’s campaign to win
over Dmitry Medvedev.
Last in the series.
10.0 Law and Order (T) (3/4)
The focus of the drama
switches to the solicitor.
11.20 Horizon: Swallowed by a Sink
Hole (T) The man killed by a
sinkhole in 2013 in Florida.
12.20 Top of the Pops: 1985 (T)
12.50 Danny Baker’s Great
Album Showdown (T) 1.50
Putin, Russia & the West
(T) 2.50 Dive WWII… (T)
11.45-12.40 American
Dad! 12.40 Plebs 1.102.05 Two and a Half Men
2.05 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records
2.30 Teleshopping
8.55am Food Unwrapped
9.30-11.35 A Place in the
Sun: Winter Sun 11.352.10 Four in a Bed 2.104.50 Come Dine With Me
4.50 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun 5.50 Ugly
House to Lovely House
6.55 The Secret Life
of the Zoo 7.55 Grand
Designs 9.0 The Good
Fight 10.05 Emergency
Helicopter Medics 11.05
24 Hours in A&E 12.10
Kitchen Nightmares USA
1.05 The Good Fight 2.15
24 Hours in A&E 3.15 8
Out of 10 Cats Uncut
6.0am Animal 999 6.30
Animal 999 7.0 Meerkat
Manor 7.30 Meerkat
Manor 8.0 Monkey
Life 8.30 Monkey Life
9.0 Motorway Patrol
9.30 Motorway Patrol
10.0 Road Wars 11.0
Warehouse 13 12.0 NCIS:
LA 1.0 Hawaii Five-0 2.0
Hawaii Five-0 3.0 NCIS:
LA 4.0 Stargate SG-1
5.0 The Simpsons 5.30
Futurama 6.0 Futurama
6.30 The Simpsons 7.0
The Simpsons 7.30 The
Simpsons 8.0 Arrow
9.0 SEAL Team 10.0
In the Long Run 10.30
Football’s Funniest Moments 11.0 The Force:
North East 12.0 Brit
Cops: Frontline Crime UK
1.0 Ross Kemp: Extreme
World 2.0 Most Shocking
3.0 Duck Quacks Don’t
Echo 4.0 The Real A&E
4.30 The Real A&E 5.0
It’s Me or the Dog
Sky Arts
6.0am Maestro: The
Director’s Cut 7.35 André
Rieu: Dreaming 9.0
Watercolour Challenge
9.30 The Adventurers
of Modern Art 10.30
Tales of the Unexpected
11.0 Trailblazers: Heavy
Metal 12.0 The Seventies
1.0 Discovering: Cary
Grant 2.0 Watercolour
Challenge 2.30 The Art
Show 3.30 Tales of the
Unexpected 4.0 Trailblazers: New Romantics
5.0 The Seventies 6.0
Discovering: Robert
Mitchum 7.0 The Gospel
Music of Johnny Cash
8.0 Johnny Cash at
Folsom Prison 9.0 Urban
Myths: Johnny Cash and
the Ostrich 9.30 Johnny
Cash’s Bitter Tears 10.45
Johnny Cash: A Legend
in Concert 11.30 Urban
Myths: Johnny Cash and
the Ostrich 12.0 National
Treasures: The Art of
Collecting 1.0 Monty
Python: Almost the Truth
2.05 Psychobitches
2.35 Leonard
Cohen: I’m Your Man
(2005) 4.30 Tales of
the Unexpected 5.0
Auction 5.30 Auction:
David Bowie Collector
Sky Atlantic
6.0am Urban Secrets 7.0
Hotel Secrets 8.0 Fish
Town 9.0 The West Wing
10.0 The West Wing
11.0 House 12.0 House
1.0 Without a Trace 2.0
Blue Bloods 3.0 The West
Wing 4.0 The West Wing
5.0 House 6.0 House 7.0
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation 8.0 Blue Bloods
9.0 Billions 10.10 Silicon
Valley 10.45 Barry 11.20
Last Week Tonight With
John Oliver 11.55 Mike
Judge Presents: Tales
from the Tour Bus 12.30
Tin Star 1.30 Blue Bloods
2.30 House of Lies 3.05
Animals 3.35 Animals
4.05-6.0 The West Wing
Leonard Cohen:
I’m Your Man,
Sky Arts
Radio 3
6.30 Breakfast 9.0
Essential Classics. Peter
Bazalgette guests.
12.0 Composer of the
Week: Strozzi (R) 1.0
News 1.02 Lunchtime
Concert: Big Chamber
Day – Tchaikovsky and
His Friends. Songs from
Saffron Hall in Essex.
(3/4) 2.0 Thursday Opera
Matinee: Francesco Cilea
– Adriana Lecouvreur.
Anna Netrebko (soprano:
Adriana Lecouvreur),
Piotr Beczała (tenor:
Count of Saxony),
Roberto Frontali
(baritone: Michonnet),
Elena Zhidkova (mezzo:
Princess de Bouillon),
other principals, Vienna
State Opera, Evelino Pido.
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018: Brass Finalists
5.0 In Tune 7.0 In Tune
Mixtape 7.30 In Concert.
The BBC Scottish Symphony Orchestra live at
City Halls, Glasgow. David
Kadouch (piano), BBC
SSO, Matthias Pintscher.
Smetana: Vltava; Šárka
(Má Vlast). Chopin:
Piano Concerto No 2 in
F minor. 8.25 Interval.
8.45 Dvořák: Symphony
No 4 in D minor. 10.0
Free Thinking: Tokyo Idols
and Urban life 10.45 The
Essay: Dark Blossoms
– The Art of the Heist
(4/5) 11.0 Exposure:
Night Blossoms. Verity
Sharp introduces sets
by Tomoko Sauvage,
MimiCof and Hatis Noit,
recorded at Spiritland in
Kings Cross, London. 12.0
Late Junction. A mixtape
from Otomo Yoshihide.
12.30 Through the Night
Radio 4
6.0 Today 8.30 (LW)
Yesterday in Parliament
9.0 In Our Time 9.45
(LW) Daily Service 9.45
(FM) Book of the Week
Sharp, by Michelle Dean.
(4/5) 10.0 Woman’s
Hour. Includes at 10.45
Drama: Curious Under
the Stars. (4/20) 11.0
Crossing Continents:
Corruption Incorporated
– The Odebrecht
Story 11.30 Guilty
Architecture. Jonathan
Glancey visits buildings
with a controversial
history. 12.0 News
12.01 (LW) Shipping
Forecast 12.04 Home
Front: Kitty Lumley, by
Sarah Daniels. (39/40)
12.15 You and Yours 1.0
The World at One 1.45
Chinese Characters:
Wang Jingwei (14/20)
2.0 The Archers (R) 2.15
Drama: Mythos – Albion,
by Julian Simpson.
(3/3) 3.0 Open Country
3.30 Open Book: Carys
Davies (R) 4.0 The
Film Programme: This
Woman’s Work. Francine
Stock presents a new
regular discussion strand
with women in the British
film industry. 4.30 Inside
Science 5.0 PM 5.54
(LW) Shipping Forecast
6.0 News 6.30 Alone:
The Long Bad Friday
Night. Comedy by Moray
Hunter. (1/6) 7.0 The
Archers. Shula makes a
fresh start. 7.15 Front
Row 7.45 Curious Under
the Stars (R) (4/20) 8.0
The Briefing Room 8.30
In Business: Confronting
Sexual Harassment. With
Katie Prescott. (4/8) 9.0
Inside Science (R) 9.30
In Our Time (R) 10.0
The World Tonight 10.45
Book at Bedtime: The
One Who Wrote Destiny,
by Nikesh Shukla. (9/10)
11.0 Beef and Dairy
Network (4/4) 11.30
Today in Parliament
12.0 News 12.30 Book
of the Week (R) 12.48
Shipping Forecast 1.0
As World Service 5.20
Shipping Forecast 5.30
News 5.43 Prayer for
the Day 5.45 Farming
Today 5.58 Tweet of
the Day: Puffin (R)
Radio 4 Extra
6.0 Rogue Justice
(4/5) 6.30 Sud-U-Like
7.0 Hopes and Desires
(2/4) 7.30 Alone 8.0
J Kingston Platt’s
Showbiz Handbook 8.30
The Goon Show 9.0
Listomania (4/6) 9.30
HR (5/6) 10.0 The Idiot
(4/4) 11.0 Grounded
(3/3) 11.15 Forest Tales
(3/3) 12.0 J Kingston
Platt… 12.30 The Goon
Show 1.0 Rogue Justice
(4/5) 1.30 Sud-U-Like
2.0 Expo 58 (9/10) 2.15
Shakespeare’s Restless
World (9/20) 2.30 Good
News (4/5) 2.45 Catch
Me If You Can (4/5)
3.0 The Idiot (4/4) 4.0
Listomania (4/6) 4.30
HR (5/6) 5.0 Hopes
and Desires (2/4) 5.30
Alone 6.0 The Man Who
Was Thursday (9/13)
6.30 Great Lives (7/9)
7.0 J Kingston Platt…
7.30 The Goon Show
8.0 Rogue Justice
(4/5) 8.30 Sud-U-Like
9.0 Grounded (3/3)
9.15 Forest Tales (3/3)
10.0 Alone 10.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide: The
Secondary Phase (5/6)
11.0 Wondermentalist
Cabaret (3/4) 11.30
Bleak Expectations (6/6)
12.0 The Man Who Was
Thursday (9/13) 12.30
Great Lives (7/9) 1.0
Rogue Justice (4/5)
1.30 Sud-U-Like 2.0
Expo 58 (9/10) 2.15
Shakespeare’s Restless
World (9/20) 2.30 Good
News (4/5) 2.45 Catch
Me If You Can (4/5)
3.0 The Idiot (4/4) 4.0
Listomania (4/6) 4.30
HR (5/6) 5.0 Hopes and
Desires (2/4) 5.30 Alone
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
no 14,966
Quick crossword
1 Always popular (9)
8 River of Florence and Pisa (4)
9 Bright red pigment (9)
10 Cigarette end (4)
13 Heart rate (5)
15 Cover on a car wheel (6)
16 Female follower of Bacchus (6)
17 Horizontal beam over a
doorway (6)
19 Rigorous — harsh (6)
20 Categories (5)
21 Thailand, formerly (4)
24 Alloy of copper and more tin than
in bronze — tell Melba (anag) (4,5)
25 Scottish lake (4)
26 Young bird (9)
Solution no 14,965
Plentiful supply (9)
Sheet glass cut for windows (5)
Overhanging roof edges (5)
Bernard ___ , pioneer of radio
astronomy, d. 2012 (6)
19 Calm and unemotional (6)
22 Duck — dark greenish-blue (4)
23 Wet weather (4)
2 Contends (4)
3 Wheelchair access? (4)
4 Fairground barker’s exhortation
5 Self-centredness (6)
6 Claimant (to a throne) (9)
7 Prohibited (9)
11 Extensive and indiscriminate (9)
Stuck? For help call 0906 200 83 83. Calls cost £1.10 per minute, plus your phone company’s access charge.
Service supplied by ATS. Call 0330 333 6946 for customer service (charged at standard rate).
To buy puzzle books, visit or call 0330 333 6846.
Sudoku no 4043
no 4,044
Hard. Fill the grid so that each row, column and 3x3
box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable version at
Word wheel
Word wheel
Find as many words as
possible using the letters
in the wheel. Each must
use the central letter and
at least two others. Letters
may be used only once. You
may not use plurals, foreign
words or proper nouns.
There is at least one nineletter word to be found.
TARGET: Excellent-59.
Good-50. Average-38.
Fill the grid so that each square
in an outlined block contains a
digit. A block of 2 squares contains
the digits 1 and 2, a block of three
squares contains the digits 1, 2 and
3, and so on. No same digit appears
in neighbouring squares, not even
Can you find 11 music-related words
beginning with B in the grid? Words
can run forwards, backwards,
vertically or diagonally, but always in
a straight, unbroken line.
Steve Bell
Who ate, slept
and wrote with
her cats?
a. Carol Shields
b. Iris Murdoch
c. Patricia
d. Muriel Spark
Answer top right
The Guardian
Thursday 26 April 2018
Журналы и газеты
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