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The Times Saturday Review - 7 April 2018

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Saturday April 7 2018
7-DAY
T
TV & RADIO
GUIDE
page 23
Au naturel
Fashion and nature
come together
at the V&A 8
How I became
the blonde
bombshell
Gemma Arterton
on playing
Marilyn
art books theatre film music television what’s on puzzles
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 3
1G R
everyone’s talking about
The new season of Westworld
Cover story 4-5
Why?
Clues collated by obsessed fans before the
return of their favourite TV show tend to
be tantalisingly headlined “Everything We
Know About . . .” And, yes, you can head to
any number of nerdy entertainment sites
to find out everything we know about series two of Westworld. But, to be honest, it’s
a bit of a fool’s game, because after the first
series we still barely know anything about
Westworld. Anything could happen in the
second season. So why get excited?
Because this HBO drama is a cut above:
beautifully acted, gorgeously designed
and eye-poppingly weird.
Based on Michael Crichton’s 1973 film,
which depicted a theme park set in the
Wild West populated by androids, the TV
reboot switched the emotional emphasis
from the humans to the robots. We
watched as “guests” (humans) interacted
with “hosts” (the lifelike androids) and
our sympathies were largely with the
latter, particularly Thandie Newton’s
increasingly calculating saloon madam
and Evan Rachel Wood’s naive cowgirl,
who slowly realises her real nature. There
was also the mercurial scientist apparently
in charge of it all, played by Anthony
Hopkins, and Ed Harris’s Man in Black,
who seemed to have permanent visiting
rights to the park for no good reason.
Two trailers for season two have
appeared, neither particularly revealing.
A code that you can enter on the Westworld website offers a glimpse of another
theme park, Samurai World, hinted at in
the first season. The showrunners, Lisa Joy
and Jonathan Nolan (Memento), have
also talked about some new tech nasties:
“drone hosts”, who “relate to the corporation’s secret project, which is hidden in
plain sight”. Glad that’s clear. We know
that most of the key players will be
back, including the Man in Black, who in
one of the trailers is glimpsed, face
Contents
Gemma Arterton talks to
Kevin Maher about
playing Marilyn Monroe
in the era of Me Too
Six of the best 6
Drag queens chosen by
director Simon Phillips.
From Edna Everage to
Hinge and Bracket
Evan Rachel Wood in Westworld
dripping with blood, offering a ghost of
a smile. Bring it on.
Neil Fisher
Westworld returns this month on Sky
Atlantic and Now TV
What they say
“The park is one thing for the guests,
and it’s another thing for its
shareholders . . . we’ve used the Google
analogy — for consumers it’s for search
and email, yet for the company it’s for
advertising.” Jonathan Nolan,
showrunner
“What’s interesting about season two
is there’s such a role reversal. [The hosts]
are. . . essentially choosing who they
want to be, while the humans are now
having to grapple with the idea that
they’ve lost control.” Shannon
Woodward (Elsie in Westworld)
What the critics would pay to see
film
A Quiet Place
On general release
Ed Potton, page 20
The Fantastic Follies
of Mrs Rich
Swan, Stratford
theatre
heatr
Ann Treneman, page 21
exhibition
Monet and
Architecture
National Gallery, London
Rachel Campbell-Johnston,
page 21
Giles Smith 7
“Did The Generation
Game get smaller? Or did
the world get bigger?”
TV & Radio 23-51
Books 11-19
A reality show based on
the Second World War,
Jesus’s female disciples
and the best of Netflix
The V&A explores how
nature has inspired
fashion designers
Memories of a golden
age of cricket, inside the
minds of dogs, the real
McMafia and Sean Penn’s
abominable novel
Interview 10
What’s on 20-21
Sudoku, chess and your
favourite brain teasers,
plus the new Quintagram
and Mindset puzzles
Our critics pick the
week’s best films, plays,
exhibitions and more
Cover photograph
Corbis via Getty Images
Exhibition 8-9
Jo Nesbo, above, talks
about Shakespeare, Harry
Hole and his Nazi dad
Puzzles 52-55
4 saturday review
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Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
cover story
‘Marilyn was the
epitome of the casting
couch. It must have
been horrific for her’
Gemma Arterton plays Hollywood icon Marilyn Monroe in the
mini-movie It’s Me, Sugar. She tells Kevin Maher what it’s like in the
era of Me Too to play a global pin-up who hated to be objectified
G
emma Arterton is
screaming at the top of
her voice. “F*** you!”
u!”
she roars. We’re alone
ne
in an empty changing
ng
room in a smalll
production studio
17 miles south of London and the
32-year-old star of Tamara Drewe
is tapping into her inner Marilyn
Monroe. Almost unrecognisable in
platinum-blond wig, blood-red lipstick and marble-white make-up, she
is between takes and casuallyy
unleashing her version of the screen
n
legend, a volatile concoction of aching
ing
vulnerability mixed with furious hairtrigger passions.
The swearing is delivered with jumpumpout-of-your-seat urgency, in the midst
dst of
an explanatory monologue about Monroe’s mid-sentence mood swings. “She
goes from [whimpering], ‘Oh my God, love
me!’ straight into the opposite,” says Arterton, before swearing, chuckling and then
adding: “Everything I’ve read about Marilyn points to how unpredictable she was.
She could change just like that. People
would be afraid to knock on her door and
to ask her to come out on set. Whereas I
think most people think of her [adopts
archetypal Monroe squeak] like a wet
blanket.”
Arterton is doing Monroe for It’s Me,
Sugar, one of the flagship entries in this
year’s season of small-screen half-hour
comedies, Urban Myths. The title is also
the infamous line from the 1959 Billy Wilder classic Some Like It Hot that Monroe
allegedly mangled 46 times in a row (take
47 was the keeper). It is appropriately mischievous subject matter for a series that is
built on bizarre and supposedly true-ish
tales from the worlds of Hollywood, music,
arts and literature. Last year’s highlights
included Samuel Beckett (David Threlfall)
providing life coaching to a young André
the Giant (Liam Macdonald), and Cary
Grant (Ben Chaplin) getting high on LSD
with Timothy Leary (Aidan Gillen).
The entire series, however, was briefly in
danger of being demolished by the final
‘Marilyn used her
vulnerable side to get
what she wanted and
to manipulate people’
episode’s stunt casting, involving Joseph
Fiennes playing Michael Jackson (possibly
a wry satirical statement on the deracialising of Jackson’s facial features, but also
grossly insensitive). The episode was rightfully yanked, never to be shown, but the
series has returned, back on form, with
highlights including the story behind the
Sex Pistols’ appearance on Bill Grundy’s
show in 1976, and a wonderfully manic
backstage peek at the “real” horse-trading,
boozing, drug-taking and brow-beating
during the 1985 Live Aid concert (Freddie
Mercury’s romantic pursuit of Bono from
U2 is blissfully entertaining).
It’s Me, Sugar is one of the strongest in
the bunch, and not only because it features
notable actors giving high-calibre performances in a short skittish comedy —
James Purefoy from Altered Carbon is a
revelation as Wilder (a gorgeously man-
nered and layered performance), and
Brody (formerly of The OC) does a
Adam B
note-perfect Jack Lemmon impersonanote-pe
it’s Arterton’s Monroe
tion. However,
H
that’s tthe big draw. As she fluffs the lines,
retreats into her dressing room, drinks,
retrea
takes drugs and fluffs again, all the
take
while bouncing between her acting
wh
coach Paula Strasberg (Felicity
co
Montagu) and her husband Arthur
M
Miller (Dougray Scott), she consistM
ently conveys the impression that,
en
mistakes and all, she’s in total,
m
unflinching control. She is not, in
un
other words, the breathless, helpless
oth
child-woman of legend.
chil
“Marilyn used her vulnerable side to get
“M
what she wanted and to manipulate
people,” says Arterton, on a break from
peop
filming a stingingly satirical scene in
filmi
which Monroe and Strasberg discuss
whic
her ““motivation” for opening a door (Strasberg asks Monroe if her character eats
cheese and Monroe replies: “Only
on Fridays — she
gets paid on Thursdays!”). “That was a
powerful tool that
she had, to make
everyone feel sorry
for her. But in that
power she was in
control. There’s a bit
in our film where
they’re 37 takes in and
Wilder says, ‘Don’t
worry about it!’ And
she says, ‘Don’t worry
about what?’ And she
actually said that! So
she’s very tonguein-cheek. She knows
what she’s doing. But
she plays the childlike thing.
hing It’s partt of
her act.”
The film’s writer, David Cummings
(a regular collaborator with Paul Whitehouse on Nurse and Happiness), adds later
that “Marilyn said in interviews, ‘Sex is
fine, but I don’t actually want to be objectified.’ So she hired Strasberg and married
hot property Gemma
Arterton in It’s Me, Sugar.
Left: Alex Pettyfer playing
Tony Curtis and Adam
Brody as Jack Lemmon
America’s leading playwright, and even
got photographed on set reading Ulysses.
Every message she gave off was, ‘I’m more
than this sexy moron!’ And I tried to put
that in the script.”
A prerequisite for Arterton’s role as “the
blonde bombshell”, she says, was an assurance that, in the era of Harvey Weinstein,
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 5
1G R
STEVEN PESKETT; MICHAEL OCHS ARCHIVES/GETTY IMAGES; PA
Me Too and Time’s Up, this would be a different, more engaged Monroe. “When I
read the script I loved it, but the Weinstein
stuff was happening at the same time and
I really had to think twice about it,” says
Arterton. “Because this is a funny script
about a woman who has been abused. She
was absolutely the epitome of the casting
Every message that
Marilyn gave off
was ‘I’m more than
this sexy moron’
couch. And she was aware of that. A
And
d it
must’ve been absolutely horrific for her.
She even said herself, ‘It’s not about my talent, I got here because I knew the right
men.’ So we talked about it and we made
sure that we were all aware of that.”
Arterton, who grew up in Kent and
trained at Rada, graduated from bigbudget behemoths such as Quantum of Solace and Prince of Persia to more interesting
left-field fare such as the Posy Simmonds
adaptation Gemma Bovary and the wildly
underrated zombie film The Girl with All
the Gifts, so she has a wider perspective
than most on the evolution of the business.
She’s now her own producer too and has
just finished her first producing project,
Vita and Virginia, the story of the love
affair between the writers Vita SackvilleWest and Virginia Woolf (she plays
Sackville-West opposite Elizabeth Debicki as Woolf). She says that the Time’s Up
movement could not have come sooner
and that as a former Bond girl she’s more
than familiar with the world of objectification. “Being objectified has always been
creepy, for all of us,” she says. “And it’s good
that it’s out there and being talked about
now. But for some people it’s a new idea.”
She returns to Monroe and notes that
the central premise of It’s Me, Sugar, about
the wacky notion of endless fluffed takes,
isn’t that bizarre at all. She has had
her own nightmares too. On
Quantum of Solace, for
instance, she had one
simple line to deliver to
Daniel Craig as James
Bond, as he stepped into
a taxi in Bolivia. “If you
attempt to flee I will
arrest you, drop you off
in jail and take you to the
plane in chains. Understand?” On the day, however, not so good. “Every
time I tried to say it
lorries went past, and
helicopters were overhead, and extras were
walking by,” she says.
“And after a while,
because I was so
young, I just couldn’t
poster girl Marilyn
Monroe in 1953.
Below: Gemma Arterton
in 2017
gget it out because of the
pressure.
We did it over and
p
over
and over again.”
o
She won’t give the actual
number
of takes, but later
n
her
h screen husband, Dougray
r Scott, dressed in natty
Arthur
Miller garb (tweed
A
suit,
waistcoat) sticks his
s
head
into the room and kindh
ly
l offers his own confession.
“I
“ did over 40 f***ing takes
myself,”
he says. “On Mission:
m
Impossible
2. It was a nightI
mare.
All I had to say was,
m
‘Darling,
you’ve won!’ And I
‘D
don’t
know what it was, but it
d
didn’t
work. It didn’t help that
d
everyone
on set had a different
e
idea
of how we should shoot
i
it.
i I think they were doing different
angles too. And I still,
f
to
t this day, think my first take
was
w the best.”
Arterton is needed back on
set.
s The cast are available for
me,
m though, and they sashay
back
and forth, and joke and
b
ponder,
and wonder about the
p
essence
of Monroe and of her
e
often
torturous and painfully
o
short
existence (truly famous by
s
27,
2 dead by 36). Scott tells me
that
Strasberg was a pernicious
t
influence
on Monroe, but then
i
Montagu
appears, dressed all in
M
black in Strasberg garb (Scott calls
b
her
h Darth
D th Vader behind her back) and tells
me to ignore Scott, that he’s wrong
because he’s living inside Miller’s head and
that’s what Miller thought. James Purefoy
comes in and we chat about the show in
the context of the new golden age of
television, and he agrees that it’s boom
time. (Netflix, he says, spends roughly
$15 million on each episode of Altered
Carbon. This may be a slight exaggeration,
but you get the idea.)
Urban Myths is the baby of its producer,
Zoë Rocha, the daughter of the fashion
designer John Rocha. She came up with
the concept and, indeed, with the Joseph
Fiennes/Michael Jackson entry. “Yes, that
was me,” she says, sheepishly. “But I’m not
allowed to talk about it.” She says instead,
echoing Purefoy, that there has never been
a better time to work in television (“Four
hundred and forty-five original shows
were shown in the US last year”), that
the boundaries between film and TV
have blurred (the talent passes between
both) and that the real joy of Urban Myths
is simply “the chance to make a really
beautiful short film”.
It’s Me, Sugar, in the end, is just that. A
perfectly formed mini-movie with a noble
aim at its heart — to rehabilitate the
legend of Monroe, even as it shows her at
her most inept. “I don’t think that
it was fun at times to be inside
Marilyn’s head,” says Arterton, trying eventually to
grasp the nettle. “But at
other times it must’ve
been great. Joe DiMaggio,
her second husband, once
said, ‘It’s a nightmare
being married to a lightbulb.’ She gave off this glow.
Some depressive people are
like that. There’s the dark,
but also the light. And I hope
that’s what we showed.”
The Urban Myths series
starts with It’s Me Sugar
on Thursday, Sky Arts and
Now TV, 9pm; all eight
episodes will be
available on demand
on Sky
6 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
GETTY IMAGES; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
six of the best
Drag queens chosen
by Simon Phillips, director
When I was
researching for the
stage show Priscilla,
Queen of the Desert,
which I directed, what
distinguished drag that
was really rather tragic
to me and the drag
that had a fantastic
thrill was that
gobsmacking
moment when
the male identity
of the performer
and the female
identity they’re
being become one
particular
entity.
That’s
when it
becomes
mesmerising as well as
entertaining.
The classic notion of
drag is the idea of giving
you the male version
of an ultimate female
diva. Women who
achieve iconic status
as female
performers and
who feel like
they’re 100 per
cent women
inspire drag
performers more
than anyone else.
Maybe that’s
because they
amplify the
female
spirit
and,
with the commitment to
entertainment, that
reaches a new level and
becomes something that
is approachable by drag
performers.
That said, legendary
drag moments occur
when a performer
achieves more than just
an impersonation; they’ve
found some kind of weird
male-female meld. The
iconic drag performers
do something different
with the form. It lets
you go further.
Simon Phillips directs
Songs for Nobodies at
Wilton’s Music Hall,
London E1 (020 7702
2789), tonight
dame edna everage
The Dame Edna character began as a study in the narrow-mindedness of suburban
Australia, but with Edna’s increased popularity, Barry Humphries allowed her to
aggrandise herself into a megastar — without losing her suburban essence.
Through Edna, the freedom with which he works an audience is magnificent.
I directed Barry in Dame Edna’s farewell tour, though I’m sure that the last thing
he would want is to be described as a drag queen; he sees Edna simply as one of the
characters that he plays.
taylor mac
Taylor Mac’s work seems
to me a moving forward
of what Divine, below,
started, a beautiful,
iridescent political
exercise. It’s a strange
liberation, but he’s
talking about the biggest
issues he can in political
terms, through the world
of drag/performance art.
He’s blasting into the
future.
divine
You can’t talk about drag
without
withou talking about
Divin as a
Divine
trailblazer.
As a
trai
political
activist,
po
the
th extent to
which
he/she
w
operated
between
op
genders
— with
ge
the
th aid of John
Waters
— brought
Wa
drag
dra into the public
consciousness
in a
cons
very different
way to
di
either Ba
Barry Humphries
or Danny La Rue, for
example.
jim and jim by french and saunders
Drag kingery is so much harder. It’s easy to laugh at
men playing women, but it’s a more complex issue to
laugh at women playing men. Dawn French and
Jennifer Saunders did it superbly. It’s a great reversal
of the presumption of male drag queens.
albin in la cage aux
folles, as played by
douglas hodge
I saw Douglas Hodge do
the role of Albin in
America and I thought it
was one of the most
brilliant examples of the
complexities of drag
elucidated on stage. I have
seen the show a few
times and no one else
has got to the heart of
being able to go to the
most extreme version of
female lampoonery and
expose the heartache of
someone trapped in that
gender-confused identity
at one and the same time.
It was a remarkable
performance.
hinge and bracket
Dr Evadne Hinge and Dame Hilda Bracket were so
committed to the idea of British gentility. They were
not about the extravagance of drag, but really restrained.
They were encapsulating a very particular aspect of
the British class system and they were a class act.
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 7
1G R
Giles Smith on TV
Did The Generation Game get
smaller, or the world get bigger?
GUY LEVY/BBC
The Generation
Game
(BBC One)
Cunk on Britain
(BBC Two)
I
t stands to reason that you go easy
around The Generation Game. Its
sentimental place in British
hearts was declared permanent a
long time ago, even before the
death of Bruce Forsyth. The show
stood astride family viewing for
the last 30 years of the 20th century, on
and off, and would arguably have come to
dominate the televisual landscape even if
there hadn’t been, almost literally, nothing
else to watch at the time.
So, to venture near this hallowed ground
with a view to building a revival on it was
practically to beg for trouble from viewers
who spent their childhoods watching
couples from Oldham plaiting dough and
folding napkins into the shape of horses,
and who still have the catchphrases to
show for it. Frankly, the BBC could not
have spoilt for a fight with the nation more
openly, short of remaking Only Fools and
Horses with Gary Barlow as Del Boy.
And lo, the revival went out on Easter
Sunday, and, predictably, it all kicked off.
About 5.2 million people tuned in, but it
was hard to find three who had anything
nice to say about it afterwards, and the
show attracted perhaps the year’s most
savage kicking so far from critics, who
claimed that it lacked the humour, the
spirit, the zest and the everything else of
the original. And then there was Jim
Davidson, who fronted The Generation
Game in its last full incarnation between
1995 and 2002, and for whom the new version seemed to be suffering mostly from a
lack of Jim Davidson. The prospect of the
perfectly amenable Mel and Sue at the
helm had inspired the former host to tell
The Sun: “They’re not right, they won’t
know how to ad-lib. They’re not there to
teach them how to bake a f***ing cake.”
It’s tempting to point out that teaching
people how to bake f***ing cakes wasn’t
Mel and Sue’s role on The Great British
Bake Off either, but maybe that’s a detail
and not, in the end, helpful. Whatever, as
the show was broadcast, Davidson took to
retweeting some of Twitter’s more scathing live reactions to it (“kak”, “naff”,
“should have given it to Jim Davidson”)
and, when asked by one correspondent
who the new presenters were, replied:
‘Two women.”
The very thought. And as for the use
of plastic goggles during the platespinning game . . . well, we don’t have
Davidson on the record on this one, but it’s
health and safety gone mad, isn’t it?
Wouldn’t have happened in the old days,
when contestants on The Generation
Game were made of proper stuff and were
perfectly willing to risk permanent visual
impairment from flying shards of china.
Indeed, blindness in one eye would have
unhappy returns The Generation Game comes back to a mauling from viewers and critics. Below: Diane Morgan mangles history in Cunk on Britain
been deemed a small price to pay for going
home with a hostess trolley, a set of hair
straighteners and a cuddly toy. “Nice to no
longer be able to see you, to no longer be
able to see you . . . nice!”
Still, even making the monumental
effort to check one’s nostalgia-driven
hysteria at the sitting-room door and simply go with the flow (and also doing one’s
best to ignore the knowledge that the four
planned episodes of this revival had
become, in the middle of filming, two
episodes, which was bound to seem
ominous), this was a messy hour, for sure,
and guilty of some peculiar missteps,
not least the application of an extra
coat of celebrity gloss. Lorraine Kelly and
Richard Osman were brought in to sit to
one side and function as a kind of
sofa-bound Greek chorus, letting us
know, at Mel and Sue’s prompting, what to
expect and telling us what to think about
it. “I’m looking forward to us being entertained and lots of laughs,” said Kelly,
as if leaving us a Post-it Note in capital
letters on the coffee table.
Furthermore, slightly confusingly, our
first show-and-tell expert was also a
celebrity — the comedian Johnny Vegas,
who has skills as a potter and led the
contestants in the throwing of a teapot.
(If you ignored the fact that its lid was
2in thick and didn’t fit and that the finished item looked more like a car part
than a piece of tableware, Vegas’s guiding sample was perfect.) There were
cameos too for Martin Kemp of Spandau Ballet, and for Basil Brush, the legendary desktop fox. And Gemma Col-
More than
five million
people tuned
in, but it was
hard to find
three who
had anything
nice to say
lins and James “Arg” Argent from The Only
Way Is Essex popped up during the traditional playlet near the end, although by
that point I had no real idea why and, by
the looks of it, neither did they.
What happened? Did The Generation
Game get smaller? Or did the world get
bigger? I’m not sure, but I do know that
these days we like a journey. The modern
challenge show has people more or less
impressively occupying areas beyond
their comfort zones — cooking, baking,
dancing, skating — and has, perhaps, to
some extent, drained our patience for
watching someone make a hash of operating a sausage machine at the first attempt.
The Generation Game says: “Here are some
people failing to do some things for which
they have no qualifications and for which
they have been given next to no chance to
prepare.” And we, perhaps, reply, “Well,
what’s the point of that in the age of
MasterChef?” It’s as if Dancing on Ice was
boiled down to the day-one training footage, and the training only lasted a minute.
For this reason the show was definitely smart to steer wide of the skills
from the big challenge series, where
the
contrast would be explicit. But
t
then
apparently, in tomorrow night’s
t
second and possibly last edition, contestants
will be required to do cake det
corating and the Argentine tango. At
which point we will be watching a crap
w
Bake
Off followed by a crap Strictly and
B
I somehow doubt The Generation
Game’s contemporary raison d’être will
be any clearer.
b
And yet it was all there, and tantalis-
ingly up for grabs: the classic games, the
conveyer belt, the cuddly toy . . . Clearly
you can have all the ingredients for a giant
Swiss roll and still end up with something
that looks nothing like a giant Swiss roll.
But maybe that has been the lesson of The
Generation Game all along.
Transporting us to a time even before
The Generation Game, Philomena Cunk
has launched Cunk on Britain, in which the
disarmingly dumb yet still heroically
curious presenter (played by Diane Morgan) is retelling our island’s story in a manner that, so far, is one part Simon Schama
to at least 700 parts Joey Essex.
In a wide-ranging yet in many ways
extremely narrow half-hour, Cunk honoured Geoffrey Chaucer as “the William
Shakespeare of bum jokes”, pointed out
that the great castles of the 11th century,
including the Tower of London, were “all
built by one man: Norman Architecture”,
and contended that we know what the
Battle of Hastings looked like “thanks
to a quick-thinking bystander who took a
tapestry of it”.
She also stood in front of a museum cabinet of primitive tools and uttered the
deathless line: “As well as boring, these
were also shit by today’s standards.”
Reductive, yes. But, at the same time, not
really open to dispute. No cliché of the
barnstorming history doc (the solemn field
walks, the mad helicopter shots) was left
unexploded. This was television about
television, which these days is frequently
the funniest kind of television.
Hugo Rifkind is away
8 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
exhibition
Dressed to kill: the real cost of high
A V&A show looks at the way
designers have been inspired by
nature — but also helped destroy
it. Anna Murphy has a preview
I
t’s a cumbersome brief, not to
mention exhibition title. But then
the relationship between fashion
and nature has always been complicated, like the worst love affair.
On the one hand the Victoria and
Albert Museum’s new Fashioned
from Nature, which opens this month, celebrates an obsession that began, perforce,
when man first garbed himself with objets
trouvés from the world around him. On
the other, it details how that world has
been damaged by our insatiable sartorial
appetites; by not just our simple need to
dress ourselves, but by our carnivorous
notions as to how to do so as extravagantly, as unnaturally, as possible.
Here is exhaustive illustration, by
turns beauteous and macabre —
sometimes both at once — as to the
truth of Oscar Wilde’s dictum: “Each
man kills the thing he loves.” At first
glance an emerald-green flecked
muslin bodice and skirt from 1868
presents the individual who once
wore it as every inch a lady. But take a
closer look at those inches. The floral
decoration is constructed from more
than 5,000 jewel beetle wing cases.
It’s green in tooth and claw.
In 1880s America there was even a
brief trend for wearing live maquech
beetles, ornamented with jewels and
d
attached via a chain to a lapel or cor-sage. About the same time there weree
reports of an evening dress adorned
d
with fireflies. Both practices were approo
priated from tribal customs in Central and
South America. I am pleased to state that
no live beetles or fireflies have been
harmed in the staging of this show.
It does contain plenty more stealthy
homages to nature’s beauty — stunning
flights of fashion A court mantua spliced with silver thread from the 1760s and, below, earrings made from
There was a brief
trend for wearing
live maquech beetles
attached by a chain
fabrics intricately printed with flowers,
ferns and seaweeds with an accuracy that
would befit a botanist’s notebook. Such
was the skill of the 18th-century calico
printer William Kilburn that he was commissioned to provide drawings for Flora
Londinensis, a record of plants growing
within ten miles of the capital.
Some of the bad iterations are at least as
charming, such as the cartoonish butterflies that wooze and wobble over a painted
taffeta gown from the 1770s. “Why should
we plague and torture our brains, for
whims of our own,” observed a design
manual of the same era, “when nature so
bountifully has furnished us with endless
varieties of subjects . . .”
Yet a more rapacious aesthetic is in evidence throughout the exhibition. In a pair
of earrings made from the iridescent heads
of red-legged honeycreeper birds, a style
produced in huge numbers in the 1870s. In
a cape of monkey fur from the 1920s. In
second time
around
A Stella
McCartney
suit from 2017
using recycled
polyester
another cape from 1895 — its quarterback
shoulders bristling with black curled cockerel feathers — which looks to be straight
out of the atelier of Alexander McQueen a
century later.
McQueen is one of the more modern
fashion Shivas to feature. “Everything I do
is connected to nature in one way or
another,” he once said. The designer was a
childhood member of a young ornithologists’ club and would watch kestrels from
the roof of a tower block near his home in
east London. How did he memorialise his
twitcher roots in his work? By using feathers over and again as decoration and, in
the case of his celebrated Voss catwalk
show of 2001, taxidermied birds. The
bodycon dress included here is from his
Plato’s Atlantis collection of nine years
later, its sci-fi pseudo camouflagee
jigsawed out of assorted mutations on
an amphibian-esque theme. McQueen
was as irreverent as he was worshipful
of the natural world.
Christian Dior was a nature lover off
a different bent. Childhood friendss
recalled him to be “a pink, plump, shy boyy
interested in growing flowers”. He grew up
to cultivate very particular blooms that he
described as “clothes for flower-like
women” with “enormous spreading skirts”.
Behold a rose-strewn bodice dress of 1952
— flower power indeed. A tulip-skirted
gown by John Galliano for the same house
in 2010 is far less mild-mannered: a hothouse explosion of in-your-face purple, all
frayed edges and posh-punk attitude.
In his garden outside Fontainebleu,
Dior exhibited dictator tendencies, “his
D
ideas carried out by a big silent gardener
who raises plants in the kitchen garden
and transplants them in bloom”, according
to American Vogue, “so that the colour is
always breathtaking”. He was similarly
dictatorial as a designer, imposing on
his customer each season a new skirt
length, an ever more waspish waistline. The shock of the new.
It is the industry’s relentless quest
ffor novelty that is part of the problem
when it comes to the small matter of
w
our planet. It began with the fashion
jjunkie tendencies of Louis XIV in the
117th century, who demanded that fresh
silks were worn by his court every year.
This
T nascent fashion cycle gained pace
courtesy
of a biannual periodical called
c
the
Mercure Galant that promoted the
t
th
notion of style as changeable — as fashion,
in fact — beyond the walls of Versailles.
Later accelerated by Dior, among others,
the six-monthly switcheroo keeps the
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 9
1G R
fashion (and why you should care)
VICTORIA AND ALBERT MUSEUM LONDON; GETTY IMAGES; POLLY PENROSE; STELLA MCCARTNEY
the iridescent heads of honeycreeper birds
in the ruff A speckled crimson frill
by Michelle Lowe-Holder
industry spinning like a top to this day,
and buyers spending.
One of the most striking pieces on display is a court mantua from the 1760s, its
195cm-wide skirt appearing more along
the lines of a sideboard to the untrained
eye. Here’s an exemplification of another
fashion problem — globalisation, not as
recent a phenomenon as we tend to think.
The silk of this mantua was woven in
France, spliced with thread made of silver
mined in Bolivia, and with black ermine
fur from North America or Russia. The
garment itself was made in London. Long
before there were air miles, there were
galleon, barge and stagecoach miles, all of
which would have ratcheted up in the
creation of this fantasia of a garment.
People did worry early on about many of
the aspects of the industry that concern us
today, an industry that is one of the top five
polluters in the world. In 1783, for example,
the Leeds Intelligencer published an
anonymous letter lamenting a water supply “polluted by the many Dye-Houses
with their noxious contents”. Acid rain was
a term first used in the 1850s, by a scientist
who lived in Manchester.
An elegant early 19th-century floral
dress, a veritable nosegay of different
blooms, was made of cotton printed in
Manchester using the so-called Turkey
red process, which used such odiferous
ingredients as animal blood and rancid
olive oil. “In the summer the stench was
overwhelming,” says Edwina Ehrman, the
exhibition’s curator. “People who lived
near the mills were dying. There were endless court cases.” Prettiness and pestilence,
hand in stinking glove.
The remarkable blue of a bustle dress of
1873, blinding even by contemporary standards, was alchemised by way of a dye
called methyl violet. It also happens to be
a mutagen (an agent that alters DNA) and
a mitotic poison — don’t ask — and is still
in use today.
So nothing much has changed then?
Well, there’s the small matter of the numbers: the world’s population is projected to
reach nearly nine billion by 2030. Between
2000 and 2014 alone, clothing manufac-
ture doubled. And there is the shift in the
way we value clothes, aided and abetted
by the rise of mass production far
beyond the wildest dreams of even the
most ambitious Victorian industrialist.
Clothes are cheap these days, metaphorically as well as literally. The average western customer buys 60 per centt
more garments a year and keeps them
m
half as long as 15 years ago. We don’t valuee
what we wear as our predecessors did. We
don’t have to.
In contrast, even that sumptuous
court mantua was designed to be
recycled at a later date, the silk
wherever possible pleated into
shape and held together with
running stitches rather than cut.
And it shows signs of havingg
been altered a century later.
Indeed, there are a number off
retooled pieces in the exhibition
that exemplify how make-do-andmend was the norm, even at
higher societal levels. A beautifully careworn men’s Harris
tweed and silk suit from the 1930s
is another reminder that clothes
were once decades-long friends.
As Alan Bennett writes in
Untold Stories, before the rise off
the high street, “the latest thingg
must have impinged on ordinaryy
lives much less . . . My grandmother in 1949 was still wearing
the long duster dress she had
worn in 1920.”
Our notion that natural fabrics
are better than man-made is one
of the shibboleths Ehrman takes
on, with the show’s advisers from
m
the Centre for Circular Design att
Chelsea College of Arts and thee
Centre for Sustainable Fashion att
the London College of Fashion.
First, “everything is natural”,,
Ehrman says. “You cannot makee
this false hierarchy between natural and synthetic. Everythingg
comes from the planet we live on.
Take nylon. It’s made from oil orr
coal.” And the cost of so-called
sharp edged Canvas
shoes, 1845-65. Left: a
Modes de Louvre hat with
a stuffed starling, 1885.
Below: a Calvin Klein
dress made with recycled
plastic bottles
p
w
worn by Emma
W
Watson
natural materials, such as cotton, can be
vast. “Cotton requires huge amounts of
water to grow, especially in countries like
China, where the climate isn’t right.” On
our present path demand for water will
outstrip supply by 2030.
In contrast, the polyester used in a pair
of suits by Stella McCartney from last year
— one woman’s, one man’s — is recycled
and recyclable. Another possible answer
to the many questions posed by our spiralling fashion consumption comes in the
form of a shirt and pencil skirt by the Italian luxury brand Salvatore Ferragamo.
This has been conjured up from — of all
the incongruities — citrus waste. One
more is a red-carpet showstopper — black
and white, and green — designed for the
actress Emma Watson in 2016 by the
American brand Calvin Klein. It was part
of the so-called Green Carpet Challenge,
still in progress, and was made out of
recycled plastic bottles.
Earlier experiments in the man-made
were sometimes exogenous — as when
the corsetry business ran out of whalebones and found its way to nylon — and
sometimes aesthetic. A Madame Grès
evening coat of 1936 shimmers with a
nacreous beauty that belies its manufacture from cellulose acetate (though at the
time this was state-of-the-art stuff). In that
same decade Paul Poiret knitted a bronzed
black gown out of oh-so-sexy-sounding
cuprammonium, a kind of rayon.
Here were fabrics that offered a new
fluidity, more than that a new modernity,
yet came burnished with that lustre that
had been coveted since tribal costumes —
never mind muslin gowns — came
stitched with beetle wings.
It is clear that what goes around comes
around in fashion. We just need to work on
the extent of that circularity. We can’t
eradicate desire. But we must inoculate it.
“The more companies recycle, and we
recycle, the better the system we will have,”
Ehrman says. “Then the volume won’t
matter so much. But can we actually use
all the waste we create? That is the next
big question.”
Fashioned from Nature, supported
by the European Confederation
of Flax and Hemp and G Star
RAW, is at the V&A, London
SW7 (020 7942 2000), from
April 21 until January 27, 2019
10 saturday review
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Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
AFP/GETTY IMAGES; LMK
interview
‘Harry Hole
is inspired
by Macbeth’
Jo Nesbo, star of Scandi noir, tells Robbie Millen
why he has forsaken his famous detective
to rewrite Shakespeare’s Scottish tragedy
J
o Nesbo is a shapeshifter. In
his 58 years he has been a
professional footballer, a financier and a rock star. He
certainly looks like a dadrock veteran. When I met
him this week, in drear, sunless London, he was wearing naff Bonostyle yellow-tinted wraparound glasses.
But don’t let that put you off because his
latest incarnation is as a crime writer —
30 million-plus novels sold — and Nesbo is
very good at murder. His Harry Hole novels rightly have a strong following and
now, with Henning Mankell and Stieg
Larsson gone, he is the leading purveyor of
Scandi noir.
For his latest trick, though, the Norwegian author has had a go at rewriting
Shakespeare. His new novel, Macbeth, is
his interpretation of the Scottish play, published as part of the very patchy Hogarth
series of Shakespearean plays reimagined
by modern authors.
The bloody tale of a nobleman who
murders his way to the tyrannical top is
natural territory for Nesbo; in his telling
the bodies mount up as quickly as Labour
antisemitism allegations. “Macbeth has
been lurking in the back of my mind for
many years,” he says. Hole, his famous
detective character — alcoholic, unpredictable, insurbordinate, awkward, ethically dubious — “is sort of inspired by
Macbeth. That character pushes the
envelope of sympathy . . . and he [challenges the reader to ask] can you be morally in
bed with him?”
Obviously Norway is Ibsen land, but
Norwegian kids grow up with Shakespeare. Nesbo says as a teenager he was
“hugely impressed” by Roman Polanski’s
1971 film of Macbeth. After seeing it, he
bought a copy of the play in English. “I read
two pages and understood one sentence —
and I thought I was good at English!” As he
confesses, he “wasn’t so much into Shakespeare, but Macbeth”.
Nesbo, who is softly spoken and has the
feel of good-natured Scandi-sincerity to
him, says that it is of “no interest to me or
to my readers for me to try to be Shakespeare. So the first thing I had to do was
throw overboard all the prose and poetry
of Shakespeare.” He has turned it into a
crime novel in which Macbeth is an ambitious copper who kills to become and to
stay chief of police. He has some fun with
it; rather than witches’ brew, gangsters
fight over a drug called brew.
It is set in the 1970s in a Scottish
“unnamed city that could be nowhere and
everywhere”. It is part Seventies New
York, part rainy Bergen, but most of all it is
the Newcastle of Get Carter, the 1971 Michael Caine film. “I visited Newcastle in my
early teens, my parents took me as there
was a ferry between Bergen and Newcastle.” The Seventies were grim for Norwegian holidaymakers.
A theme in his Macbeth is the choices
that characters have to make in a murky
world. Do they follow Macbeth as he
demands of them ever bloodier, more
wicked deeds? Moral choice is perhaps
starker and darker in Nesbo’s imagination
because of his family history. His parents
both faced a dilemma when Norway was
occupied by Germany in 1940.
His family on his mother’s side were in
the anti-Nazi resistance, publishing
underground newspapers. His mother,
“just an innocent girl”, ran errands for
them. His father, however, volunteered at
the age of 19 to fight for the Germans. He
served in the Norwegian Waffen-SS during the siege of Leningrad, before being
injured by a hand grenade. His family were
militantly anti-communist and worried
about the Soviet menace over the border.
(A similar menace inspired Occupied, a TV
series available to British viewers on Netflix that Nesbo dreamt up about Russia
invading Norway to seize its oil.)
“His view of Europe at the time [in 1940]
was that the old democracies, like
England and France, were on the
verge of bankruptcy. Strong countries were the future — the US was
on the other side of the world and
wanted nothing to do with
Europe. So in Europe, you had to
make a choice between Hitler
and Stalin. Simple as that. He
chose Germany.”
After the war his father, who
later became the chief executive of
a transport company, was jailed
with 20,000 other Norwegians for
collaborating with the Nazis. “He would
make no excuses and was a reflective man.
He felt that it was the right punishment for
making the wrong choice.”
Nesbo wrote of his father’s experiences
in his 2000 novel The Redbreast, which in
2006 became his first novel to be translated into English. “Ninety per cent of the
scenes in the trenches are my father’s
stories. He told me, ‘Those big movie war
scenes where the battlefield looks like
hit man Jo Nesbo
“has something of the
semi-housetrained alpha
dog”. Below: Michael
Fassbender in The
Snowman
New Year’s Eve — with lights and explosions and people crying out. Well, it was
exactly like that.’ ”
He says those conversations with his
father “were a starting point or a viewpoint
from where to write”. Life, morally
speaking, is mostly shades of grey in
Nesbo-land. He aims in his fiction “to
describe things from different people’s
viewpoints, whether it is the victim or the
killer. In the Harry Hole books, most characters fail morally.”
Nesbo’s first novel, The Bat, was not published until he was 37, in 1997. I suspect his
previous lives have enriched his imagination, much more so than if he had set off to
be a writer in his teens.
‘I did what you do
when you don’t know
what to do and
studied economics’
“Soccer — that was the thing that I was
confident about,” he says of playing for his
home town of Molde in the Norwegian
equivalent of the Premier League. “I didn’t
study that hard and thought that was
going to be my job. Then I tore the ligaments in my knees and my career was
over by the age of 19. I had to come
up with a plan B, so I did what you
do when you don’t know what to
do and studied economics.”
That led to a decade-long
financial career that gradually
morphed into a rock career. He
would rush from the office to gigs.
His band Di Derre reached No 1 in
the Norwegian charts in the midNineties, and he still plays the guitar
and sings. Music had always been a
sideline. As a teenager he wrote lyrics for
friends in bands — “I was the Bernie Taupin of my little town,” he says mockingly,
comparing himself to Elton John’s lyricist.
He has a nice line in wry humour. “I would
write in Norwegian and English. I had this
Oxford English Dictionary that I would
look up and find really long words and put
them in the lyrics — nobody knew what
they meant, but everyone would say, ‘This
is a very intelligent young man.’ ”
His first book came about by chance. A
publisher asked him to write a book about
a pop star’s life on the road. He thought this
would be boring so he wrote a crime
thriller instead. Why wouldn’t he? “My
friends were all writing novels. They were
quite pompous and pretentious — they
were going to write the Big European
Novel. I admired their confidence, but I
didn’t admire their writing.” He jokes that
“we wanted to be Knut Hamsun [the Norwegian Nobel laureate] or Dostoevsky; we
would suck in our cheeks to look like
hungry and starving artists”.
Well, he is lean — his hobby is rockclimbing — rather than underfed. There is
something of the semi-housetrained alpha
dog about him (he is unmarried and has a
teenage daughter). You suspect he has
learnt to curb his instincts to fit into the
herbivorous world of crime writers.
“I come from soccer and music, where
we are competitive, but crime writers are
all friends. It is such a nice, soft atmosphere, everyone helps each other. I’m this
competitive fighter; it took me a while
to let down my guard.” He is a bit of a
softie, because Norway’s other famous
writer, Karl Ove Knausgaard, the author
of the autobiographical My Struggle
sequence of novels, is attempting to write
a crime novel; Nesbo is going to be a consultant, guiding Knausgaard into this
murky world.
It is telling that Knausgaard, a more literary figure, is turning to crime. There is
prestige to the genre in Scandinavia. “The
Scandinavian [crime] tradition is centred
on using the crime novel as a vehicle for
telling stories about society,” Nesbo says.
So with 11 Harry Hole novels under his
belt, as well as children’s books (Doctor
Proctor’s Fart Powder), Nesbo has enriched
that tradition. Although Macbeth is a valiant attempt, I’d direct new readers to his
previous novel, The Thirst, a superb twisting page-turner, or The Snowman (just
ignore the widely panned 2017 film of it,
starring Michael Fassbender as Harry H,
which does his tale of a serial killer no
justice). Still, his Macbeth has followed the
advice of the apparition — “Be bloody,
bold, and resolute.”
Macbeth is out now, published by
Hogarth Shakespeare, £20
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 11
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books
Men who made a Test match special
Book of the week
However, Fay and Kynaston have a
deeper theme to pursue. Arlott and Swanton, they declare, “each had a leading role
in the battle for the soul of English cricket”.
In a gloomy postscript the authors seem as
pessimistic as I am about the outcome of
that battle, but they relish showing how
Arlott and Swanton not just chronicled,
but tried to influence unfolding events.
The strange thing — which unfortunately makes the book less dramatic and
adversarial than one might have expected
— is that so often the Hampshire leftie and
the metropolitan snob were on the same
side. Both realised in the early 1960s that
the game was dying at county level and
could be rescued only by “instant cricket”:
one-day matches. Arlott even went so far
in his Guardian column as to endorse Benson & Hedges sponsorship of a one-day
league. Mind you, that was in 1972, when
even Guardian readers saw nothing wrong
with patronage from fag manufacturers.
Both men spoke out against the coarsening of manners on the pitch and the dangerous bouncer wars of the 1970s and
1980s, though Arlott favoured protective
helmets for batsmen while Swanton —
appalled by this very un-WG Grace-like
apparel — thought legislation against
short-pitched bowling was the answer.
And both men were on the right side of
history when writing about the greatest
moral crisis facing postwar English cricket:
whether to play Tests against apartheid
One was a rural leftie,
the other a pompous
snob; both became
legends of cricket
broadcasting, says
Richard Morrison
A
Arlott,
Swanton
aand the Soul of
English Cricket
E
b Stephen Fay and
by
D
David Kynaston
Bloomsbury, 384pp; £20
B
W
hen I was 12 I could recognise the voices of John
Arlott and EW “Jim”
Swanton as readily as
those of my own parents.
So could half the population of what we
were slowly learning not to call the
Empire.
Arlott was the undisputed poet laureate
of Test Match Special, his descriptions of
cricket and cricketers unfurling like richly
embellished shaggy-dog tales recounted
over many a tincture in some ancestral
Hampshire pub — and in much the same,
delectable rural burr. Swanton’s end-ofplay summaries, by contrast, always
sounded as if written and delivered by the
pompous headmaster of a minor public
school.
The voices were not deceptive. The two
men — legends of cricket broadcasting
and journalism from the 1940s to the 1980s
— obviously shared the same lifelong
infatuation. Both would have said about
cricket what Bill Shankly said about football: “It’s not a matter of life and death . . . it’s
more important than that.” Yet in upbringing, temperament and sensibility they
were utterly different.
Arlott (1914-91), the working-class country boy who was largely self-educated,
came to cricket after years as a Hampshire
policeman, followed by a remarkable leap
into producing poetry programmes at the
BBC, where he kept Dylan Thomas in
booze and befriended John Betjeman.
Swanton (1907-2000), a stockbroker’s son,
went to a private school then straight into
journalism, ruthlessly elbowing seniors
aside until he got the jobs he wanted.
Arlott wrote throughout his career for
The Guardian and actively sought out the
company of jobbing professional cricketers. Swanton was the Daily Telegraph
cricket correspondent, heavily biased
towards private-school educated amateurs (especially as England captains), and
much happier in the Marylebone Cricket
Club’s corridors of power than hobnobbing
in the changing rooms.
Steeped in poetry (and a fair poet himself), Arlott could be a magisterial phrasemaker. Swanton used words merely to
convey facts and opinions. “Can you
imagine what it must be like to write as
much as Swanton did over so many years
without leaving one memorable sentence?” Arlott once said, although only
Both men spoke
out against the
coarsening of
manners on the pitch
in private. In public, they displayed a wary
respect for each other.
Arlott was certainly more loved, whereas Swanton’s massive snobbery and
unshakeable belief in his own omniscience
often triggered ridicule and hostility.
Lording it over the press box on one
foreign tour, he poured scorn on something John Woodcock had written in The
Times. Woodcock retorted: “There are a
lot of people in this box who think you are
shit, and you can count me among them.”
Even some Telegraph readers got fed
up. One reader’s letter, sportingly
printed by the paper, began: “Sir,
don’t you think that the time has
arrived for your cricket correspondent to be quietly disposed
of, stuffed and placed in the
Long Room with the curved
bats, the sparrow, and other
freaks of the noble game?”
Yet Arlott had critics too, and
on a bad day, with a glass or three
of wine inside him before lunchtime, his Guardian pieces could
ooze uninspired pretension with the
best of them. And he, too, could be as
snobbish as Swanton, although about different things. Australia, for instance: “It is
a dull country, the people much of a
hearty sameness and none of the things
that interest me available in more than
driblets — virtually no secondhand bookshops, bare bones of worthwhile architecture, no pottery, no glass, no pictures.”
Possibly true when Arlott wrote it, but a
reckless thing to write when you are
captive audience
John Arlott in the late
1940s. Below: Andrew
Festing’s portrait of
EW Swanton hangs in
the Pavilion at Lord’s
covering the same events as a lot of sardonic Aussie journos.
The lives of Arlott and Swanton have
already been well chronicled, not least by
themselves (cricket-mad psychiatrists still
puzzle as to why Arlott’s autobiography,
Basingstoke Boy, was written entirely in the
third person). So what’s the point of hitching Mr Chalk and Lord Cheese together in
one huge, decades-spanning doublebiography, as Stephen Fay and David Kynaston have done? One simple aim, I guess,
is to bring joy to elderly codgers like me
who can blot out the awful reality of
today’s charmless, over-commercialised and cheat-infested cricket
world by wallowing in rose-tinted
remembrance of things past.
The authors supply plenty of
that, and very evocative it is. It’s
hard not to imagine yourself
sitting at the Oval in 1948, for
instance, when you read Arlott’s
classic radio commentary on Bradman’s last Test innings, after the
great Australian batsman — needing
just four runs for a lifetime Test batting
average of 100 — was bowled second ball
for nought (making his average a tolerable
99.94). “Now I wonder if you see a ball very
clearly on your last Test in England,”
Arlott mused to his shocked listeners, “on
a ground where you have played out some
of the biggest cricket of your life, and the
opposing team have just stood round you
and given you three cheers, and the crowd
has clapped you all the way to the wicket
— I wonder if you really see the ball at all?”
South Africa. You would expect this from
Arlott, who famously described the South
African government as “predominantly
Nazi” on a live BBC broadcast in 1948.
Swanton’s attitude, however, is surprising
— although it shouldn’t be. He had seen
(and suffered) horrible inhumanity while
held in a Japanese labour camp. Perhaps
that’s why, after touring South Africa in the
mid-1950s, he reported his “frequent feelings of utter bewilderment at the Nationalist treatment of the dark population”.
If his Telegraph readers were appalled by
that liberal stance, they must have been
steaming from all orifices when Swanton,
like Arlott, castigated the England selectors for spinelessly leaving the mixed-race
Basil D’Oliveira out of the side to tour
South Africa in 1968. And when Enoch
Powell made his notorious “rivers of
blood” speech, Swanton went further —
calling it “bloodthirsty, hateful . . . lacking a
single compassionate phrase towards
fellow-members of the Commonwealth”.
When recounting great episodes like
that, and the crisis brought about by Kerry
Packer’s World Series Cricket circus, this
book really comes to life. It’s never less than
readable, though. On the last day of the
“golden” summer of 1947, Arlott summed
up the mood in the Oval: “We had felt the
sun on our backs; we had seen cricketing
feats of such happy gallantry that we had,
at times, been glutted with richness . . . This,
we thought, is something we shall never
forget. We were right.” If you feel that way
about cricket, this is a book to warm you up
on a wet May morning at Edgbaston.
12 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
JOHNNY GREEN/PA
nonfiction
A conspiracist’s
dodgy dossier
David
Aaronovitch
despairs at
another
writer
cashing in
on the David
Kelly affair
A Inconvenient
An
D
Death
H the Establishment
How
Covered Up the David
C
Kelly Affair
K
bby Miles Goslett
H
Head
of Zeus, 352pp;
££16.99
I
n 2007 the Liberal Democrat MP for
Lewes at the time, Norman Baker, published a book called The Strange Death
of David Kelly. Dr Kelly was the government weapons inspector who was
outed in July 2003, shortly after the inva-
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under a shadow David Kelly was very depressed and coping badly with media attention before he died, according to his wife
sion of Iraq, as the source for a sensational
BBC report claiming that the government
of Tony Blair had “sexed-up” a dossier on
the threat posed by the Iraqi regime.
Shortly after giving possibly misleading
evidence to a parliamentary committee,
he was found dead in woods near his
Oxfordshire home.
Baker’s book followed a campaign by a
small group of doctors, some retired, who
argued that the cause of death accepted by
the Hutton inquiry, which reported in
early 2004, was not feasible. The most
favourable soil for Baker’s alarming contention was not, as might be supposed, on
the anti-war left, but on the anti-Blair right.
Tory sympathisers who believed that Blair
was almost single-handedly responsible
for the moral degeneration of Britain were
particularly susceptible. Writers for the
Daily Mail were especially impressed.
The problem, as a BBC Two documentary and (I believe) my 2009 book on
conspiracy theories showed, was that
Baker’s thesis was refutable at almost
every point, sometimes almost comically.
And we refuted it. We pointed, for example, to the weight of expert evidence confirming the verdict of suicide delivered by
the Hutton inquiry, including the judgments of the presidents of the British Association in Forensic Medicine and of the
Forensic Science Society — both, unlike
surgeons, experts in how people die.
In the end we were left with a book whose
author preferred to believe not that a man
in a fix was prepared take his own life, but
as I wrote at the time, killers “who were
never seen or identified . . . killed a British
subject and government employee who
had already spoken to the press and who
was at the epicentre of British media attention, and that this operation was covered
up by a combination of the Oxfordshire
police, the Oxfordshire coroner, those
working for the Hutton inquiry and —
quite possibly — Lord Hutton and [Kelly’s
wife] Janice Kelly herself”.
For the most part the Kelly theory
became a tinfoil hat wearer’s pursuit.
There was the small group of doctors,
another small group of conspiracy-twitchers and the occasional foray by the Daily
Mail every time these people issued a new
demand for a full inquest. In 2010 this desultory campaign succeeded in persuading
the former Tory leader Michael Howard to
support their call. A year later the Conservative attorney-general, Dominic
Grieve, reviewed the case. He concluded
that “the evidence that Dr Kelly took
his own life is overwhelmingly strong.
Further, there is nothing I have seen
that supports any allegation that Dr Kelly
was murdered or that his death was
the subject of any kind of conspiracy or
cover-up.”
So how does this book by Miles Goslett,
a former Mail journalist essentially making the same accusations as did Baker, deal
with the refutations, the forensic and other
evidence subsequently published? By
blithely ignoring it all, every bit.
Goslett works on the same erroneous “it
was physically impossible” basis and
branches out from there. He has the same
need to undermine the inconvenient testimony of Kelly’s wife that her husband was
extremely depressed before he died, and
the same need to deploy any suggestion
made by anyone else at the time that Kelly
was coping well with his sudden, unwanted
and career-threatening celebrity.
So what does Goslett have that is new?
His contention is that Blair moved suspiciously quickly, once he knew of Kelly’s
death, to call an inquiry into a suicide that
he couldn’t be sure was a suicide. Why, asks
Goslett, did Blair not also consider the
It stinks, this waste
of publisher’s and
purchaser’s time
and money
possibility that Kelly had “been the victim
of a random assault by a psychopath”?
Answers, as they say, on a postcard.
But what is Goslett’s new evidence?
There are essentially four pieces of new
material in the book. One concerns the
day, a week before the death, that the
Kellys fled to Cornwall to escape the
media. Mrs Kelly said it was the evening of
July 10, cribbage players in Dr Kelly’s local
pub said he was with them until late. What
is the significance of this discrepancy?
Goslett doesn’t say, except to condemn
Hutton for not having paid it attention.
Second is a letter in 2004 from Mrs Kelly
to a Rowena Thursby, the unofficial coordinator of a “Kelly was murdered” conspiracy group, saying that she believed her
husband took his own life. Goslett contrives to find this letter odd.
Third is the strange case of Dr Kelly’s
dental records that his dentist looked for in
the wake of his death (remembering,
apparently, “that Dr Kelly was due for his
six-month check-up shortly”), but could
not find, yet which supposedly turned up
again in the right place two days later. If
Goslett can think of a reason why the dental records should have been purloined, he
doesn’t say what it is. Online conspiracists
are less coy, arguing that Kelly’s was not
the body found in Oxfordshire, so the
impostor corpse’s dental records were substituted for the real ones.
Goslett is not as reckless as Baker. Maybe, he concludes, Kelly was murdered,
maybe he died of natural causes under
interrogation, “or he did not die at all but
was ‘disappeared’. But it is not the aim of
this book, however, to back one of these
theories.” Wise, I’d say.
It stinks, really, does this waste of
publisher’s, purchaser’s and reviewer’s
time and money. Let me explain why. In
his introduction Goslett gives the inception moment of the book as November 5,
2014 — “I heard that a senior civil servant
working in the Ministry of Justice had
written an extraordinary letter to a man
called Gerrard Jonas, a garage owner from
Oxfordshire, urging him to stay away from
Dr Kelly’s grave.” It seemed “odd” to Goslett that a civil servant should be taking
such an interest. Suspicious even. Shortly
afterwards the body was exhumed and the
grave moved.
If Goslett weren’t so blinded by his
desire to get another publication and
another payday out of the Kelly affair, he’d
see it as clearly as most readers probably
do. Jonas, a member of a conspiracist
group, had been regularly visiting the
grave, and he (or others) had been leaving
placards and flowers there. In other words,
he’d been an upsetting nuisance to the
Kelly family. Most of the sinister “coverup” Goslett attributes to Lord Hutton is
fairly obviously the actions of a man determined to spare the Kelly family any additional hurt.
But from the Sandy Hook school massacre to 7/7 in Britain, some of those who
believe, against evidence and common
sense, that there is a deep conspiracy at
work cannot leave the families alone. The
families’ testimony must also be discredited, they too must be in on the plot. So the
conspiracists read stupid books like this
one, written and endorsed by intelligent
people, and feel vindicated.
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 13
1G R
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‘Tits to the valley!’ — a battle cry for girls
From loveless parents
to Swiss finishing
school, Rose Tremain’s
childhood memoir is
moving, says Ysenda
Maxtone Graham
Rosie
R
S
Scenes
from a
Vanished Life
V
bby Rose Tremain
C
Chatto
& Windus,
1194pp; £14.99
R
ose Tremain manages to fit
more wisdom, more unforgettable scenes, more illuminating
recollections, into this 194-page
memoir than other writers do in
memoirs three times the length. A book
as nourishing, but concise as this makes
you wonder why other writers have to be
so long-winded.
Admittedly it’s an account only of
Tremain’s childhood up to the age of 17 in
1960; she avoids telling us the story of the
successes of novel No 1, No 2, No 3 etc.
I think this is an example of her instinctive
knowing when to stop, a strength she
brings to bear in every paragraph.
For anyone who loves Tremain’s novels
— she won the Orange prize for The Road
Home, the Whitbread award for Music &
Silence, Restoration was shortlisted for the
Man Booker — this memoir is a vital
companion. The strange, muted traumas
of her childhood — the grieving grandparents who didn’t love her, the mother
who couldn’t show love to her children, the
father who left home when Rose was ten
and rarely saw her again — formed the
rich soil for her fiction, giving her an endless supply of anxiety, exile and receivingof-bad-news on which to draw.
Why all this lack of love? Well, her
wealthy maternal grandparents, “Granny
and Grandpop”, had lost two of their three
children; one son died of a burst appendix
when at Harrow, the other was killed in
Germany in 1945. They were left with their
daughter, Tremain’s mother, Jane, “the
middle child, the girl child, who seemed to
give them no joy at all”. They couldn’t love
their daughter and she, never having been
loved herself, had no idea how to love her
two daughters, Rose and Jo, in her turn.
Tremain remembers her grandmother’s
body as “slightly grotesque through grief,
cigarettes, sherry, arthritis and overeating”.
The grandchildren couldn’t care less. For
them Linkenholt Manor, the redbrick
house in Hampshire where Granny and
Grandpop lived, was a holiday paradise,
with 2,000 acres of chalky farmland in
which two London children could run wild.
Tremain makes two astute observations
about childhood paradises. First: “If part of
your childhood is spent in a paradise like
Linkenholt, a veil falls between your eyes
and the truths you need to learn about
the world. Later, this veil falls away.” It
certainly did fall away in Tremain’s and her
sister’s cases. Second (referring to the rule
about being back punctually for lunch):
“Perhaps this is one of the excellent laws of
sloping off Barred
from trying for Oxford,
Rose Tremain went to
Switzerland where she
learnt to ski
Her nanny,
who wore
slippery
floral
nighties from
DH Evans,
taught her
how to love
paradise, that time is no longer an enemy,
but a watchful friend, steering you home
before anybody misses you.”
The one person who did love the girls
was their nanny, Nan, who wore slippery
floral nighties from DH Evans and said her
prayers kneeling beside her bed. Using
only a few brushstrokes, Tremain makes
us love Nan and understand how important she was to the girls. “Just an ordinary
woman, a little lonely, a little disappointed
in life, a person who loved flowers and
knitting and funicular trains and classic
serials on the radio”, Nan was Tremain’s
“angel”, “who saved my sanity, and probably that of my daughter”. By properly loving Tremain, Nan taught her how to love.
It’s astonishing how, as late as the 1950s,
children such as Tremain and her sister
were still put into smart dresses by their
nanny and taken down to the drawing
room to see their parents for an hour
before bathtime. Their father, the playwright Keith Thomson, used to come
up to the nursery to read to them for a few
minutes before rushing off. Nan, like the
children, called him “Daddy”. “Stay a bit
longer, Daddy,” Nan used to say — but
he never did.
Bad news was always delivered in the
nursery, over elevenses. There’s something stomach-churning about the pink
nursery furniture, the glass of milk and the
chocolate biscuits, the mother coming
upstairs in dark glasses. One morning in
1953 the news was that their father had
fallen in love with a 25-year-old woman
he’d met while directing the York cycle of
mystery plays, for which he won an OBE.
Tremain delivers the crucial detail
about the photograph of her father receiving the OBE: “The smile on his face was, of
course, a secret one, only half there for the
new Queen. It was the smile of his newfound happiness.”
This act of desertion seemed to trigger
an outbreak of “musical beds” among the
grown-ups of her parents’ small circle.
Jane paired up with Keith’s cousin, Ivo
Thomson, which led to the second
bad-news-at-elevenses scene. The girls
were now going to have a “new father”.
Hearing this news, Tremain and her sister,
who had managed to hold in the tears up to
that point, let rip with howls and sobs.
Again, the novelistic and universalising
detail: “The grown-ups had entered a
period of sexual madness, quite beyond us
to comprehend. And now, to Jane’s shock
and dismay, the reality of that madness
was being put to judgment by our unstoppable wailing.” Wail on, girls, I heard
myself thinking.
The portrait Tremain paints of her
mother is compassionate and withering.
Jane had been sent off to board at six, by
those unloving parents. She never recovered, emotionally or physically. “She
couldn’t bear food. She thought she
liked it but got up to be sick in the middle
of meals. She despised fat people.
There was so much in the world that
disgusted her.”
The girls were packed off to boarding
school, Crofton Grange in Hertfordshire,
when Tremain was 11. “Our day started at
five-past seven, when the matron and the
two under-matrons woke us by sticking
thermometers into our mouths.” There
were 100 girls and only 30 thermometers,
so she dreaded “the taste of another girl’s
mouth, stale from sleep, tainted by last
night’s supper of macaroni cheese — or
worse, by some vomiting that had
occurred in the night”.
She blossomed, though, thanks to new
friends, all united in their exile, and to the
marvellous English teacher Miss Ida
Robinson, known as Robbie, “who had a
thin, sorrowful face, as if somewhere in life
she’d seen human agonies she couldn’t forget”. I was actually scared about a concert,
so deeply did Tremain draw me into the
question of whether or not her long-lost
father would turn up at a piano recital
given by the girls at the Royal Festival Hall.
All of a child’s hopes, fears, dreams, insecurities and dreads are concentrated here.
As well as giving her the engrossing task
of making a mural illustrating scenes from
Milton for the upper panel of the English
room wall, Miss Robinson told Tremain
she should try for Oxford. Her mother
forbade it, on the assumption that having a
bluestocking for a daughter would make
her (Jane) into a laughing stock — so
Tremain was sent to a finishing school in
Switzerland called Mon Fertile, where she
learnt secretarial skills and French. The
girls were also taught to ski. “Tits to the
valley!” the skiing instructor told them.
Tremain has used “Tits to the valley” all
her life as an exhortation to persevere and
confront things head-on. She was never
going to submit to life as a secretary,
“enabling the dreams and ambitions of
others, the male of the species”.
14 saturday review
1G R
nonfiction
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
ALEXANDER AKSAKOV/GETTY IMAGES
The real McMafia
The Russian state and
criminal gangs have
become close allies,
says Edward Lucas
M
any viewers who watched
McMafia must have wondered if Russian organised
crime is as ruthless and pervasive as the TV series suggested. Mark Galeotti’s indispensable
book adds plenty of real-life nuance to that
fictional screenplay, but nobody reading it
The V
Th
Vory
Russia’s Super Mafia
by Mark Galeotti
Yale, 326pp; £20
in deep A gang member takes part in a Russian Orthodox cleansing ritual
will be in any doubt of the seriousness of
the overlap between Russian spooks and
crooks at home and abroad.
A revealing example of this comes from
Canada. When that country’s spycatchers
interrogated Jeffrey Delisle, a naval officer
who was caught spying for Russia in 2012,
a puzzling detail emerged. His Russian
handlers had tasked him not only with
finding out the western alliance’s secrets
about submarine warfare and encryption,
but also with checking up on Canadian intelligence about local Russian gangsters.
Why would the Kremlin’s fearsome GRU
military intelligence service be interested
in the trivia of the Canadian criminal justice system?
The answer, Galeotti says, is simple.
Once stolen, the details of the Canadian
police operations against Russian organised crime could be sold to the gangsters,
or traded for favours. The interests of the
Russian state and organised crime are not
identical, but they often work hand-inhand. The result is misery for Russians and
danger for us.
Galeotti, a British academic based in
Prague, is a world authority on Russian
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Criminal methods
such as extortion
are part of the
state’s arsenal
criminality and the country’s intelligence
services. The Vory combines both parts of
his expertise. It starts with the history of
Russian gangsterism, going back to rural
horse-thievery and the criminalised slums
of pre-revolutionary urban Russia. The
brutal, dog-eat-dog world of Stalin’s
gulags, he argues, was the crucible in
which the loose “thieves’ world” of the
tsarist era gained hierarchy and ritual. The
corruption and stagnation of the Brezhnev
years gave the criminals their first entrée
into mainstream society; illegal buying
and selling was the only way to keep the
calcified planned economy running.
However, the midwife of the modern
mafia was Mikhail Gorbachev. His
botched anti-alcohol campaign in the
mid-1980s created a huge market opportunity and made the gangsters into semirespectable suppliers of much-needed
booze. The partial liberalisation of the economy allowed them to launder their
profits into respectable-seeming businesses such as restaurants and foreign trade.
And the collapse in the authority of the
state created a climate of impunity, first for
theft, then for violence.
As the Soviet Union collapsed, the Russian mafia moved abroad. Galeotti is dismissive of the most alarmist talk in the
West about the ruthless and inexorable
growth of Russian organised crime. Foreign operations are not that profitable for
Russian gangsters, he argues. They require
a new market and a lack of local competition to succeed. The threat is best seen as
a virus, rather than an octopus, he says.
That may be little comfort to those who
find themselves infected. Russian organised crime in Spain, especially on the
Costa del Sol and Costa Brava, racketeering and money laundering with Russia’s
FSB security service, was a big headache
for the authorities there. Eventually, they
sought help from Britain’s MI6, which
provided them with an expert consultant,
the FSB defector Alexander Litvinenko.
The tipoffs he provided may have led to his
murder in 2006.
Some of Galeotti’s quibbles are useful.
Russian gangsterdom abroad is more
ex-Soviet than Russian — “Russianspeaking” would be a better term and even
that is fading over time. It is not organised
(there are at least six main gangs, possibly
as many as twelve). Its activities stretch
well beyond conventional criminal activity. But the book’s weakness is that the
author is so keen not to seem alarmist that
he pulls some of his punches. In particular,
he retains an optimism about Russia’s
ability to find the laws, elites and public
support to deal with crookery, not soon,
but eventually. Given the picture he paints
in the book, many readers will feel that
hope is rather short of evidence.
The rot is partly cultural. Soap operas
and songs treat gangsters as Robin Hoodstyle heroes. Criminal slang has become
socially acceptable (Vladimir Putin uses it
freely). Moreover, the Russian leader’s
state-building project rests on a tacit
(some would say not-so-tacit) understanding with the criminal world, dating to Putin’s years in the notoriously corrupt municipal administration in gangster-ridden
St Petersburg. True, the criminals are not
in charge in Russia, but that is only
because, as Galeotti says, “the state is once
again the biggest gang in town”. Criminal
methods such as extortion are part of the
state’s arsenal. Those who get in the way,
such as Sergei Magnitsky, a whistleblowing lawyer, meet a grisly end (Magnitsky was beaten to death after a year of mistreatment in prison).
The big question for the outside world is
whether the spook-crook alliance will be as
potent abroad as it is at home. Has Russia’s
corruption of western business, finance
and politics reached the point that decisionmakers can no longer impose serious
sanctions on the Kremlin, even if it mounts
a brazen challenge to national security,
such as setting out to murder retired spies
with chemical weapons? Even Galeotti’s
excellent book does not answer that.
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 15
1G R
First Edition
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group, for recommendations and bookish chat
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The inner life of your pooch
paperbacks
GETTY IMAGES
Brain scans can show
us how a dog thinks —
and it’s rather like us,
Melanie Reid learns
The Templars: The Rise and Fall of
God’s Holy Warriors by Dan Jones
Head of Zeus, 494pp; £9.99
The Templars were founded in 1119
to assist pilgrims visiting the Holy
Land. Pilgrimages were dangerous:
the faithful ran the risk of getting
lost, robbed or kidnapped. These
sword-bearing muscular Christians
were also at the vanguard in the early
Crusades. Their rules forbade retreat;
martyrdom was written into their
mission — fanaticism was their
strength and their weakness. Dan Jones
is certainly an entertainer, but also a
fine historian who knows how to render
scholarship into accessible prose.
Seldom does one find serious history
that is so easy to read. Gerard DeGroot
G
regory Berns, animal lover and
neuroscientist, was the first
person to take MRI scans of
dogs’ brains. He wrote a bestseller, How Dogs Love Us,
revealing a striking similarity between
dogs and humans in the caudate nucleus,
the key part of the brain for anticipating
enjoyable things such as love and food.
From this he concluded that a dog not only
has sentience, but is — probably — comparable to a human child. Which we —
probably — suspected already, but here
was evidence.
In this book, his follow-up, Berns delves
further, training dogs to perform mental
tasks inside the scanner so that he can
study their neural connections at work —
another first for animal neuroscience. The
dogs were taught the relatively complicated Go-NoGo trick, requiring self-control.
First they were trained to do a task when
they heard a whistle, whereupon they got
a treat. The next stage was trickier — when
the whistle blew, their handlers crossed
their arms, signalling the dogs not to move.
If they stayed still, they were rewarded.
The scanner revealed that during active
inhibition, dogs used their frontal lobes. In
humans, frontal lobes control language,
abstract thought, planning and social
intelligence, and while ours are much
bigger than a dog’s — a third of our brain
compared with a tenth — it appeared both
species used them to inhibit the impulse to
move. In other words, what we feel when
we refuse a second helping of dessert is a
similar experience to a dog when it exerts
self-control.
The more Berns learnt, the more
convinced he became that humans had
much in common with dogs at the deepest
levels. He became obsessed (his own word)
with exploring the inner experience of
animals to communicate better with them
and understand what they felt. Besides,
he argued, the self-control experiments
may improve dog welfare, the problems
of barking, biting and property destruction that lead to so many dogs being
euthanised.
Where to go next? Training other
animals to enter the scanner wasn’t
possible, and scans of sedated dogs
were unlikely to yield information about
cognition.
Berns turned to the brains of dog-like
dead animals, seeking clues that could
relate to shared mental experiences. In
fascinating chapters on sea lions, he
describes how he studied brains taken
after a mass stranding in Monterey,
California, in 1998. Science had already
pinned blame on a neurotoxin called domoic acid. Sourced from a bloom of phytoplankton, caused by a combination of
shifting El Niño weather patterns and
agricultural nitrogen run-off, domoic acid
caused seizures, brain damage and death
in sea lions. In milder cases it damaged
their memory and impaired their mental
ability to forage for feed and to navigate.
Crucially, the MRIs revealed that it
did to their brains what epilepsy does to
humans — brain pathology pointed to a
similarity of experience.
nonfiction
roll models Dogs have a sentience comparable to a human child — but many owners already know this
What It’s Like
to Be a Dog
And Other Adventures
in Animal
Neuroscience
by Gregory Berns
Oneworld, 302pp; £16.99
It’s possible to
communicate
with animals,
he says, ‘but
on a low
bandwidth
channel’
Although Berns does not pursue this, his
findings imply that the whales and
dolphins that today die in widespread
mass strandings may be experiencing similar bewilderment and distress to humans
with untreated epilepsy. A sad thought,
especially when human use of nitrogen is
implicated.
From a tame sea lion called Ronan —
trained to dance most successfully to
Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Down on
the Corner — he established that sea lions
had the rudiments for synchronising auditory and motor systems in the same
manner as humans. From the first MRI
scans on the brains of dead dolphins he
began to probe echolocation to see brain
connections unlike anything seen before.
Dolphins are 100 times faster than
humans at processing sound. Their brains
corresponded with bats and with humans,
only with a dolphin’s auditory pathways to
the temporal lobe replacing human visual
ones. Instead of seeing with sound, dolphins painted with sound. We were, he
concluded, more similar than different.
Thence Berns makes a surreal leap to
the hyena-like extinct Tasmanian tiger, or
thylacine. He briefly turns novelist — “I
am a sucker for anything remotely canid”
— romanticising the lonely death of the
last thylacine in a zoo in 1936. He studied
two of the only four intact brains remaining and found enough evidence to be convinced that the thylacine too was an intelligent, emotional creature — certainly far
more so than marsupials are credited with.
The work of Berns, a professor at Emory
University in Atlanta, has considerable
political resonance. In a world short of
protein, granting animals emotions undermines unenlightened farming methods. Although Berns is not an activist, his
work has implications for the heated areas
of animal rights and welfare. An underlying theme is his progression from a medical student who hated having to dissect
anaesthetised dogs (no longer practised)
to a scientist who, while neither a vegan
nor an anthropomorphist, has demonstrated that animals have internal mental
lives. He asks that they are not exploited.
Two gnarly issues I wish he’d tackled are
halal slaughter and the growing humanisation of veterinary treatment, such as
implants and chemotherapy for pets.
Animal behaviourists reject his theories,
believing animals react by associative
learning, not thinking or emotion. Their
philosopher of choice, Thomas Nagel,
believes neuroscience can’t explain the
subjective experience of being a bat, even
by uncovering how its brain works. This
logic decrees that the harder you try to pin
down the objective quality of how a dog
feels, say, when its owner comes home, the
farther you move from the subjective
experience.
In defiance, Berns designed a food
versus praise dog experiment to challenge
the behaviourists and reveal the communalities of mental experience. Would dogs
choose to go first to their owner, or to food?
He found it was down to dogs’ personalities and subjective choice, relating to the
emotional response the caudate part of
their brain had already revealed in the
scanner — each dog had relative love for
food and human. Dogs, he also suggests,
can acquire a kind of pidgin language; he
concludes that communication with
animals is possible, “but on a low bandwidth channel”.
This is an uneven book, a quirky scientific detective story in which a warmhearted, ethically scrupulous protagonist
travels the world seeking messages from
the pickled brains of dead animals. Berns is
an enthusiast: I learnt more than I needed
about basal ganglia and the T1 and T2
relaxation parameters of a 3 Tesla magnet
in an MRI scanner. Plus the title, to reflect
Nagel’s famous essay “What Is It Like to Be
a Bat?”, may mislead: anyone expecting
the A to Z of canine psychology will feel
cheated. It is more learned than that. For
all its flaws, the book succeeds as an
informed and humane exploration at the
frontiers of animal sentience.
Animals, Berns states, do not have the
capacity to take our point of view, but we
have the capacity to take theirs. It may be
an unwelcome message to some, but it is
an important one.
Move Fast and Break Things: How
Facebook, Google and Amazon have
Cornered Culture and Undermined
Democracy by Jonathan Taplin
Pan, 310pp; £8.99
“Google,” writes Jonathan Taplin, “will
do whatever it wants without asking
permission, and the results will be so
awesome that nobody will complain.”
As a wry summary of the corporate
ambition of almost any technology
behemoth, that’s hard to beat. His
thesis is that the world has been so
seduced by the “awesome” part that the
“permission” part has been far too often
overlooked. For Taplin, the fêted
progressivism of tech firms is just cover
for a new, anti-democratic capitalism of
the most merciless sort. Hugo Rifkind
fiction
Conversations with Friends by Sally
Rooney Faber, 336pp; £8.99
Sally Rooney’s compulsively readable
debut novel follows two Dublin
students, Frances and Bobbi, as they fall
into an emotionally complicated
menage à quatre with a charismatic
older couple. The book is funny and
frighteningly sharp about people —
especially considering Rooney was only
26 when it was published. The prose is
nimble and stylish and you can sense
the smile flickering on Rooney’s lips as
she exposes her characters’ pretensions
and self-deceits. The book’s ironic,
self-conscious sensibility captures the
voice of a generation — this, so far, is
the Great Millennial Novel.
James Marriott
The Silent Companions by Laura
Purcell Raven, 364pp; £7.99
This is a sinister slice of Victorian
gothic. Elsie Bainbridge is in an asylum,
drugged, confused and accused of arson
and murder. A sympathetic doctor asks
her to write down her memories. Elsie
recalls being a young pregnant widow
sent to live at her late husband’s eerie
Jacobean mansion, the Bridge. It,
naturally, is full of odd servants, strange
noises and dusty locked rooms. There is
a lot that feels clichéd here. Sinister
house: tick. Mental asylum: tick. Odd
night-time noises: tick. It is a measure
of Laura Purcell’s skill that she spins
these tropes into something creepy and
page-turning. Antonia Senior
16 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
CORBIS/GETTY IMAGES
nonfiction
France with
libertés taken
This jolly history
romps along, leaving
out the boring bits,
says Gerard DeGroot
T
he English are particularly susceptible to the virulent disease of
francophilia. Those afflicted
spend their holidays in charming gîtes in Languedoc or
Provence, where they drink wine, nibble
cheeses and admire the perfectly attired
women who never, it seems, get fat. This
boundless adoration blinds francophiles
to the enormous egotism, hypocrisy and
dubious morality of the French.
John Julius Norwich caught the disease
when he was six years old and has never
shaken it. He ends this book by thanking
the French for what they have given him:
“That sort of gratitude is more than gratitude: it is love.” Does his love get in the way
of objective historical judgment? Yes.
Does it matter? No, probably not.
“This book is not written for professional historians,” Norwich confesses, “it is
intended only for the general reader.” He’s
not particularly bothered that his research
is thin and often hopelessly out of date.
One gets the idea that most of the book
was dictated off the top of his head without
consulting sources. Again, that probably
doesn’t matter, given his intended audience. This is history designed purely for
entertainment, and there’s nothing wrong
with that. France is the sort of book you
would give your father-in-law who reads
history for light relief. (Which is exactly
what I intend to do.)
The preface alone is worth the price of
this book. Norwich explains how his
mother, the exquisite Lady Diana Cooper,
first took him to France when he was
tarte response De Gaulle handed over his leftover dessert to a young John Julius
France
A History: from Gaul
to de Gaulle
by John Julius Norwich
John Murray, 360pp; £25
He stops in
1945 because
‘nothing
would have
induced me
to take on the
European
Union’
nearly seven, to wean him off his nanny.
He can still recall a “regiment of porters
smelling asphyxiatingly of garlic in their
blue-green blousons”. Since his father,
Duff Cooper, became French ambassador
in 1944, the author spent the final months
of the Second World War in Paris.
At age 15 he mixed martinis for Jean
Cocteau and was taught French love songs
by his father’s mistress. (“My mother, who
had no conception of jealousy, loved her
almost as much as my father did.”) In 1947
he spent six months in Strasbourg, which
he enjoyed “apart from the hideous
embarrassment caused by my landlady’s
constant attempt to de-virginise me”.
That same year he met Charles de
Gaulle at an embassy dinner. Feeling bold,
he asked for the apple pie that the great
man had neglected to eat. De Gaulle
shrugged in gallic fashion and pushed the
pie away. It was covered in cigarette ash,
but Norwich still ate it.
It’s a challenge to cover 2,000 years of
French history in just 360 pages. Norwich
accomplishes the task by speeding over
the bits that bore him while concentrating
on a handful of heroes. As a result, some
significant figures are given short shrift.
We learn that Philip the Bold was not very
bold and Philip the Fair was “only moderately good-looking”. Louis XI “was not, by
any standards, a good man; but he left
France . . . stronger”. Norwich’s retelling of
the Joan of Arc story is surprisingly flat, as
is the Dreyfus affair. He stops abruptly in
1945 because “nothing would have induced me to take on the European Union”.
Norwich loves Francis I, who gets more
attention than he deserves. He’s described
as a man of “colossal charm” who had a
“perfectly enormous nose” and “really
loved being king” — “loved above all the
ready availability of beautiful women”.
Never one to condemn lasciviousness, the
author instead sympathises with Francis,
who had the misfortune to marry two
hideously ugly wives.
His first, Claude, was “very small and
strangely corpulent . . . with a limp and a
pronounced squint”. His second, Eleanor
of Austria, had the “trunk of a giantess”
and the lower body of a dwarf. Outside the
bedchamber, Francis was deeply cultured
— “he was the Renaissance”. He was also
brave, which perhaps explains his tendency to take catastrophically stupid risks.
The king’s penchant for disaster is conveniently downplayed.
In comparison to Francis, the other
giants of French history get scant attention. Norwich struggles to hide his distaste
for Richelieu and Robespierre, while he
seems to agree with Churchill that de
Gaulle was a colossal pain in the arse.
Louis XIV — the Sun King — was a cruel
and despotic ruler who set France on an
inexorable path towards revolution. “Light
there may have been; but there was little
warmth.”
As for Napoleon, Norwich admits his
genius, but can’t get around the fact that
twice, in Egypt and Russia, he abandoned
his entire army. He mentions, with some
distaste, that, when plague spread among
his troops during the Egyptian campaign,
Napoleon advocated euthanising the sick
with opium. Norwich admits that his treatment of the French Revolution and the
Napoleonic period are “a shameless oversimplification”. But that’s the inevitable
consequence of being in a hurry. Despite
the speed with which he recounts great
events, he does occasionally insert golden
nuggets of trivial detail into his story.
These prevent the book from becoming a
thin, soulless narrative. He mentions, for
instance, that the funeral of Francis I lasted two months and, for the first 11 days, the
dead king continued to be served meals.
Speaking of food, we’re told that the Sun
King’s average lunch was “four plates of
different soups, a whole pheasant and a
whole partridge . . . stuffed with truffles, a
huge quantity of salad, some mutton, two
good slices of ham, a dish of pastry, raw
fruit, compotes and preserves”. That may
explain the diabetes that killed him.
Since this is a history of France, food
figures large. Apparently, during the siege
of 1870, Parisians were forced to eat rats. It
was, however, mainly the wealthy who did
so because only they could afford the expensive sauces necessary to disguise the
disgusting taste. Hungry residents raided
the Paris zoo for sustenance, with tragic
consequences for Castor and Pollux, the
two elephants. On Christmas Day one
fashionable restaurant offered “stuffed
donkey’s head, elephant consommé, roast
Francis I’s second
wife had the ‘trunk
of a giantess’ and the
lower body of a dwarf
camel, kangaroo stew, antelope terrine,
bear ribs, cat with rats, and wolf haunch in
deer sauce”. Those French.
Norwich is 88 years old. That’s only relevant in the sense that he proves that growing old can be enormous fun. He writes
what he likes, as he likes. The rules of
“proper” history are enthusiastically
ignored; he borrows shamelessly from
others and trusts his gut instinct over hard
evidence. His purpose is to entertain, and
he does that well. But, after 35 books, how
much longer can he keep this up? “I know
I have said it before,” he writes, “but this is
almost certainly the last book that I shall
ever write.” That makes me sad.
Private view at
Manchester Art Gallery
E XC L U S I V E
R E WA R D S FO R
SUBSCRIBERS
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Painting Light and Hope. Enjoy a drink on arrival and an introductory
talk before exploring works from the Manchester painter Annie
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Book tickets today at mytimesplus.co.uk
Illusions, c1902. Annie Swynnerton (1844-1933) Oil on canvas. Manchester Art Gallery. ©Manchester Art Gallery. This Times+ event is open to UK subscribers only. For full terms and conditions, visit mytimesplus.co.uk
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 17
1G R
CHICAGO HISTORY MUSEUM/GETTY IMAGES
fiction
Bootleggers
and bullets
A Penn in
the backside
Here’s a contender for
the stupidest book ever,
says James Marriott
David Mamet gives
mobster Chicago his
best shot, says Robert
Douglas-Fairhurst
C
hicago is David Mamet’s home
town; it is also a creative itch he
has never been able to stop
scratching. From early plays
such as Sexual Perversity in
Chicago (1974) to his later hit Glengarry
Glen Ross (1983), he has long treated the
city less like a physical place than as a state
of mind, or what he once described as “an
extension of our dreamlife”.
This new thriller — his first novel for
20 years — is also marked by his parallel
career as a screenwriter. The historical
setting is Prohibition-era Chicago, which
he previously explored in his script for
Brian De Palma’s The Untouchables (1987),
a place that is full of sharp elbows and even
sharper tongues, where the lurking threat
of violence is mimicked in the rat-a-tat-tat
of ordinary conversation.
Mamet’s chronology in Chicago is
deliberately skewed — the action begins in
1927, but it ends with the Leopold and Loeb
trial, which took place in 1924 — as if the
events of the past were like a deck of cards
that could be shuffled into any order.
Yet in every other way this world is
reassuringly familiar. There are bootleggers and Tommy guns, corrupt cops
and steamy bathhouses. The men swap
wisecracks and drink hard liquor until
they pass out. The women are largely
invisible, unless they are mistresses or
maids. At the same time, nothing is what it
seems. The city is a place of disguise and
deceit, from a hunter’s “camouflage
screen” to the speakeasies in which bad
whiskey is served from china teapots.
best of enemies Al Capone, left, with John Stege, a police chief who took him on
Chicago
by David Mamet
Custom House, 352pp; £20
A jumble of madness
and history may give
you a headache, says
Melissa Katsoulis
T
our killing or a professional hit? And what
does it reveal about the power struggles
between Al Capone’s mafia and the Irish
gangs with their links to the IRA?
The plot is as dense and twisting as a
slum’s back alleys, and eventually even the
characters find themselves trying to
explain it to each other. It is a style of exposition that Mamet often engages in (one
critic called it “mametsplaining”), as in a
famous scene of The Untouchables where
Sean Connery’s seen-it-all cop Jimmy
Malone explains “the Chicago Way” to a
new recruit: “He pulls a knife, you pull a
gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital,
you send one of his to the morgue.”
Here it seems to be less a narrative trick
than a genuine attempt to unpick some of
the knots he has created.
Fortunately that gives his characters
more opportunities to talk to each other,
and this is where Chicago really comes
alive. One problem with most novels, as
Mamet is plainly aware, is that the characters sound as if they are reading out
dialogue that has been written on cue
cards held just out of sight. They do not
speak, they make speeches.
Mamet’s characters, by contrast, fumble
for their words and lurch unpredictably
from idea to idea: “Guns, some guys?
Use them to threaten people. All I know,
the only thing they’re actually good for,
shoot ’em.”
Meanwhile, he produces lines in which
beauty and brutality are like two sides of
a spinning coin, as Mike confronts “that
impossible grief of betrayal at having your
heart broken by life”, or the city decides
to treat its bouts of gang-related bloodletting as “unavoidable disruptions, to be
borne like the weather”.
There is no shortage of novels set in the
Windy City, from Saul Bellow’s The Adventures of Augie March to Sandra Cisneros’s
The House on Mango Street. Yet few are as
heartfelt as Chicago. Reading it, you feel as
if you have stumbled across a private love
letter. It may have been handled so often
the paper is deeply creased, and the ink is
starting to fade, but it still sounds as fresh
as the day it was written.
skinny Tokyo writer (more emo than Edo)
who committed suicide in his thirties in
1927 after suffering a cruel descent into
mental illness. He is a legend in Japan, but
barely known here, and Peace is hoping to
change that.
Akutagawa took refuge in stories of
ancient Japan, with a special interest in the
way the hidden Christians of his
country meshed Marian worship with indigenous folkklore. His most famouss
work, Rashomon, is a grim
tale that reflects his medieval sensibility: a fight
between a grave-robber
and a desperate drifter.
As a cruel century
unfolded around him, life
fe
looked cheap to Akutagawa.
wa.
If he ever wrote a meditative
tative
story about a pretty lily pond,
nd, which
he did, it was a lily pond churning under
the surface with boiling blood and the
tortured souls of hell, with a weeping
saviour trying to rescue them from above,
but failing.
Peace is the saviour trying to resurrect
Akutagawa for western audiences by
pulling something meaningful out of his
subject’s mental hell. It’s not an easy read.
The 12 episodes from Akutagawa’s life are
fragmented, jittery things, full of babbling
repetition and magical demons rubbing
shoulders with real, but faceless people.
Peace clearly knows and loves his
subject and there are well-researched
descriptions of earthquakes and illnesses,
remindingg us that he is a fantastiwriter when he’s
cally adept
a
keeping it real. We smell,
keep
hear and feel every greasy
hea
cobblestone and rotting
co
rubbish pile as our
ru
emaciated hero picks his
em
shaky way through a
sh
feverish trip to China.
fe
Studied like schoolS
work,
w
or with Haruki Murakintroduction
to
aami’s
mi’s
Akutagawa
on hand and Jay
A
kutaga
translation of his fiction
Ru
Rubin’s
Ru
tran
alongside, Patient X gives the reader a
scholarly satisfaction with glimpses of
genius (both author’s and subject’s). Yet
dipped into before bed or whipped out for
recreation, this confusing jumble of madness and history will make the head ache
rather than resound with the heavenly
song of one of Japan’s finest writers.
The main characters are Mike Hodge
and Clement Parlow, a pair of street-smart
reporters on the Chicago Tribune with a
taste for witty crime reports, such as the
one that opens: “Jackie Weiss had died of a
broken heart, it being broken by several
slugs from a .45.”
Mike becomes romantically involved
with the “impossibly beautiful” daughter
of an Irish florist with a profitable line in
funeral wreaths, and soon afterwards she
is shot in his apartment. Is it a family hon-
It’s a city of deceit. In
the speakeasies bad
whiskey is served
in china teapots
Virtual insanity
he problem with novels about
madness is that they can be
absolutely maddening to read.
The veteran writer David Peace
must know this and, in common
with his contemporary Will Self, his
response appears to be: “Sod it.” The novel
is dead to this generation of established
writers, who know they’re not aiming for
the bestseller lists and are given free rein
by their publishers in recognition of years
of faithful service. This is literary fiction.
Peace writes mostly about northern
England and historical Japan. Patient X is
one of his Japanese books. It is a paean to
Ryunosuke Akutagawa, the wild-haired,
B Honey
Bob
Who Just Do
W
SStuff
Patient X
The Casebook of
Ryunosuke Akutagawa
by David Peace
Faber, 299pp; £14.99
a legend revived
Japanese writer
Ryunosuke Akutagawa
bby Sean Penn
Atria, 160pp; £14.99
A
B
ob Honey Who Just Do Stuff is the
stupidest book I have read. The
Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn
(formerly Mr Madonna) has
chewed up snatches of postmodern greats like Thomas Pynchon and
Hunter S Thompson, failed to digest them
properly and expelled a pale and dribbly
imitation.
I’ll do my best to summarise the catalogue of inanities that constitutes the
book’s “plot”. The eponymous Bob Honey
is in the waste management business, a job
that takes him improbably to wartorn Iraq
and remote South America. He has a sideline in killing old people for a company
that hopes by exterminating them and
thus eliminating their farts, there will be
more space in the atmosphere for the noxious gases of big industry.
Or as Penn puts it: “In simple language,
an air-grab wherein air polluting companies could expand production with a
zero-sum exacerbation of environmental
impact.” And yes, this is his idea of “simple
language”. Bob Honey also has a misogynist caricature of an ex-wife he hates and a
much younger lover, Annie, who suffers
from alopecia (“Good vagina. Maybe more
Vietnam [ie jungle],” Bob tells her).
I suspect Penn’s book is supposed to be
funny in a whacky sub-Pynchon sort of
way, but the most it managed to elicit from
me was a hollow laugh of despair. Its most
distinctive feature is Penn’s dementedly
alliterative prose: “He punched his way out
of the proletariat with the purposeful inputting of covert codes.” There are countless passages of asinine periphrasis: “The
accelerant enzymes her image infuses in
Bob create a chemical cocktail he can only
counter with self-preservational condescension.” As these examples hint, the book
is only intermittently comprehensible.
Bob Honey Who Just Do Stuff is not only
stupid, but hateful. I came to dislike Penn.
He thinks he’s much cleverer than he is.
Footnotes explain things that are common
knowledge such as the Night of the Long
Knives or who Herodotus was. He’s also
full of ill-thought-out reactionary bile and
hates all the obvious things — Instagram,
advertising and millennials.
The novel fails in just about every way it
is possible for a novel to fail. It is boring,
pompous, prejudiced, atrociously written,
badly plotted, stupid, possibly racist and
definitely sexist. I could go on. This is not
fiction — this is anti-fiction. The book
should be handed out on creative writing
courses and students told to write books as
unlike Penn’s as possible. Bob Honey Who
Just Do Stuff is one of the most egregious
low points in the history of the novel.
18 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
GABRIEL BOUYS/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
crime
A whiff of evil
and almonds
The Devil’s Dice
An odorous corpse, a
by Roz
mystery panic room
Book
Watkins
and a dead art critic in HQ, 328pp; of the
month
Venice. Marcel Berlins £12.99
picks the best puzzlers Blind Defence
by John Fairfax
T
he dead body at the start of The
Devil’s Dice is found in a cave in
the Peak District. It smells of
almonds and lies next to a book
on philosophy. It’s soon identified as that of a solicitor from the nearby
town. The detective investigating, DI Meg
Dalton, has recently returned to the area,
after a tough time in her previous posting,
to be near her difficult mother and dying
grandmother. Her inquiries reveal the
existence of ancient curses and she gradually discovers guilty secrets held by locals.
The sensitive Dalton is reminded of her
own demons. There are more deaths —
and she is suddenly in danger. The road to
the solution is interesting and thoughtprovoking. The Devil’s Dice is a terrific
debut by Roz Watkins; it teems with shivery atmosphere and introduces a cop
quietly different from most of the women
detectives in British crime fiction today.
William Benson, the hero of Blind
Defence (and its predecessor Summary
Justice), is an unusual lawyer. He studied
law in prison after being convicted, perhaps wrongly, of murder. When released
on parole, he qualified as a barrister. The
author John Fairfax, a barrister too, is certainly aware that in real life Benson’s con-
Little, Brown, 321pp; £16.99
Panic Room
by Robert Goddard
Bantam, 372pp; £18.99
Vengeance in
Venice
by Philip Gwynne Jones
Constable, 339pp; £8.99
The Lost
by Mari Hannah
Orion, 358pp; £7.99
pregnant with dread
The city’s Biennale is
backdrop to Vengeance
in Venice by Philip
Gwynne Jones
viction would have prevented him from
being called to the Bar. But never mind, it’s
necessary for the strong plot. Benson is
acting for an unpleasant, probably guilty
defendant charged with killing his girlfriend, found hanged with a blood orange
in her mouth. The courtroom scenes are
vivid and exciting, and the novel raises
some important issues to do with prisons
and the ethics of the legal system.
Robert Goddard has been writing imaginative first-class thrillers for nearly
30 years, without quite reaching stardom,
perhaps because he chooses to make each
novel different, bereft of a regular cast.
Panic Room is an absorbing example of
his superior storytelling. Blake, a young
woman housesitting in Cornwall, is visited
by an estate agent who claims to have
instructions to sell the property. The mansion turns out to have a safe “panic room”,
which can be locked only from the inside.
So what is in the sealed room? Maybe
there are people or bodies, or perhaps the
huge fortune belonging to the billionaire
who built the house. Goddard’s characters
tend to be a touch eccentric — as is Blake
— and his plots a little complex. However,
the result is invariably an excellent read.
In Vengeance in Venice, it’s the opening
day of the city’s Biennale — the largest
contemporary art fair in the world. Paul
Considine, the artist representing
Britain, has contributed a large glass
installation. The structure disintegrates,
beheading the art critic of The Times,
known for his dislike of anything modern.
That morning a savage review of Consid-
What is in the sealed
room? Maybe there
are bodies or perhaps
a billionaire’s fortune
fiction
Gentle look at harsh realities
This unusual story
wears its cleverness
lightly, says Johanna
Thomas-Corr
M
any years ago Aminatta
Forna received a book in the
post: Resilience by Boris
Cyrulnik, an expert in posttraumatic stress disorder.
Cyrulnik, whose parents were killed
in a Nazi death camp, challenged the
prevailing wisdom among psychologists
that “trauma equals suffering equals
damage”.
Forna, whose father was executed for
treason in Sierra Leone when she was ten,
was intrigued — not least because she
still doesn’t know the identity of the
sender. The book’s message — what
doesn’t kill us makes us stronger — has
inspired her fourth novel, Happiness, an
ambitious, multilayered story about
migrants in contemporary London. “Not
one of us was born here, but each have a
Happiness
by Aminatta Forna
Bloomsbury, 320pp; £16.99
reason to be here,” says Dr Attila Asare,
a Ghanaian psychiatrist visiting for a
conference on PTSD.
Set over ten days in the spring of
2014, the narrative follows the relationship
between Attila and an American
wildlife biologist, Jean Turane, a recent
divorcée who has moved to London to
study the urban fox population. After
colliding on Waterloo Bridge, their paths
serendipitously cross again and again,
until they get swept up in the hunt for a
missing boy.
Tales of tentative middle-aged romance
are in vogue right now, but Forna’s love
story is more oblique. Her interest lies with
the unseen Londoners, the doormen and
dustmen, the traffic wardens and care
workers, their hidden networks and
camaraderie.
There are dramatic flashbacks that
offer glimpses of Jean’s and Attila’s pasts,
but the author is just as content to linger on
foxes, parakeets, wolves and pigeons, to
give us humans some perspective on our
importance.
There are no moments of high tension,
no plot twists, but Happiness is a great
she got mail Aminatta Forna’s latest
novel was inspired by a book in the post
ine’s work had appeared in the paper.
Nathan Sutherland, Britain’s honorary
consul (unpaid) for Venice, has good reasons for believing the death was no accident. He’s clever and great fun, with a
beguiling Italian girlfriend, and the art
world is held up to some witty satirical
attention by Philip Gwynne Jones.
In The Lost Mari Hannah, much praised
for her novels featuring DC Kate Daniels,
offers a new Northumbria duo, DI David
Stone and DS Frances “Frankie” Oliver.
They make an edgy couple, by no means a
perfect fit, but their debut augurs well.
Alex Parker, back from a trip to see her
sister, is expecting to be welcomed at the
airport by her ten-year-old son, Daniel.
Instead her husband, who was supposed to
bring him, confesses that he has gone
missing. The first 100 or so pages are an
emotionally captivating, detailed account
of the police search for him. Equally
grippingly, the story broadens out.
pleasure to read because of how much life
is packed in by Forna, who won the
2011 Commonwealth Writers’ prize for
The Memory of Love (2010). It’s an unusual
novel that wears its cleverness lightly;
tender, but with an eyes-wide-open recognition that the world is harsh.
Forna humanises people who have
witnessed the worst humanity can offer —
and no one more than Attila, the most
appealing protagonist I have encountered
in a long while.
A widower whose work has taken him to
conflict zones in Bosnia, Sri Lanka and
Iraq, Attila dances to flamenco music
half-naked in his hotel room and delights
in a London of affordable theatre and
international cuisine.
“Some people name their baby girls
Victoria,” he deadpans when Jean asks
why he was named after a tyrant. Eccentric
yet measured, with an infectious joie de
vivre, there’s something of Twin Peaks’s
Agent Dale Cooper to him; in fact, he’s
worthy of his own Netflix spin-off series.
By the end of his London odyssey,
Attila comes to believe that the most
psychologically damaged people aren’t
the victims of trauma, but the ones who
cross the road to avoid them, lest they
get contaminated by grief. We can attain
wisdom only once we stop defending
ourselves against the possibility of
suffering. As Attila asks a colleague:
“How do we become human except in the
face of adversity?”
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 19
PPR
bestsellers
audiobook
of the
week
The Poems of TS Eliot,
read by Jeremy Irons and
Eileen Atkins, BBC,
3hr 41min, 4 CDs £15.99
“April is the cruellest
month.” Aptly, it heralds
the release of Jeremy
Irons’s mellifluous
recitation of the most
famous poems of TS Eliot
(1888-1965). Eliot was
interested in musicality
and the auditory
experience, and his
haunting, often baffling
poems are best heard as
well as read.
Crackly recordings of
his own harsh, thin voice
are available, but there is
a relentlessness about his
patrician diction that is
hard for modern listeners
to take. Ted Hughes’s
1996 reading of The Waste
Land and other poems is
mesmerising, but
inescapably Hughes.
Ralph Fiennes recorded a
fine Four Quartets in 2015,
while John Gielgud
rendered Old Possum’s
Book of Practical Cats
unforgettably in 1983.
Irons reads all these
poems in this collection.
Susan Roberts’s
production is first-rate,
tracked to make it easy
to replay a poem, and
alternating narration
between Irons and Eileen
Atkins clarifies The Waste
Land. Irons’s mature
voicing has a measured
thoughtfulness that
matches Eliot’s
preoccupation with age,
time and death. But stick
to Gielgud’s Old Possum.
Christina Hardyment
Paperback Fiction
Hardback Fiction
Paperback Nonfiction
Hardback Nonfiction
1 (1)
1
Dead Men’s Trousers
(new) Irvine Welsh
Jonathan Cape £16.99
1 (1)
1 (1)
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely
Fine Gail Honeyman
Harper £8.99
2 (2) The Venetian Game Philip
Gwynne Jones
Constable £8.99
3 (3) Conversations with Friends
Sally Rooney Faber £8.99
4 (4) Norse Mythology
Neil Gaiman
Bloomsbury £8.99
5
The History of Bees Maja Lunde
(new) Simon & Schuster £8.99
6 (5) Reservoir 13 Jon McGregor
4th Estate £8.99
7
The Music Shop
(new) Rachel Joyce Black
Swan £8.99
2 (1) The Tattooist of Auschwitz
Heather Morris Zaffre £12.99
3 (2) The Seven Deaths of Evelyn
Hardcastle Stuart Turton
Raven £14.99
Other Minds: The Octopus and
the Evolution of Intelligent Life
Peter Godfrey-Smith
William Collins £9.99
2
The Shortest History of Germany
(new) James Hawes Old Street £8.99
3 (3) Why We Sleep
Matthew Walker Penguin £9.99
4 (5) The Woman in the Window
AJ Finn HarperCollins £12.99
4 (2) A Brief History Of Time
Stephen Hawking Bantam £9.99
5 (3) Let Me Lie Clare Mackintosh
Sphere £12.99
5 (4) Why I’m No Longer Talking to
White People About Race Reni
Eddo-Lodge Bloomsbury £8.99
6 (8) Still Me Jojo Moyes
Michael Joseph £20
6 (5) Sapiens: A Brief History of
Humankind Yuval Noah Harari
Vintage £9.99
7
Panic Room
(new) Robert Goddard
Bantam £18.99
8 (7) Call Me By Your Name
André Aciman Atlantic £8.99
8 (10) The Only Story
Julian Barnes
Jonathan Cape £16.99
9 (6) The Burial Hour
Jeffery Deaver
Hodder £7.99
9 (6) The Smiling Man
Joseph Knox
Doubleday £12.99
10 (8) History of Wolves
Emily Fridlund
Weidenfeld & Nicolson £8.99
10 (7) Force of Nature
Jane Harper
Little, Brown £12.99
7
The Templars Dan Jones
(new) Head of Zeus £9.99
8
Adventures of a Young Naturalist
(new) David Attenborough
Two Roads £8.99
Classic Mary Berry BBC £26
2 (2) Lose Weight for Good
Tom Kerridge Absolute £22
3 (3) Good Night Stories For Rebel
Girls 2 Elena Favilli & Francesca
Cavallo Timbuktu Labs £25
4 (5) 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to
Chaos Jordan B Peterson
Allen Lane £20
5 (4) Good Night Stories for Rebel
Girls Elena Favilli & Francesca
Cavallo Particular £20
6
The Secret Barrister
(new) The Secret Barrister
Macmillan £16.99
7 (6) Rebel Prince: The Power, Passion
and Defiance of Prince Charles
Tom Bower William Collins £20
8 (8) Women & Power: A Manifesto
Mary Beard Profile £7.99
9 (6) Homo Deus: A Brief History of
Tomorrow Yuval Noah Harari
Vintage £9.99
9 (7) The Wood: The Life & Times of
Cockshutt Wood
John Lewis-Stempel
Doubleday £14.99
10 (8) Prisoners of Geography Tim
Marshall Elliott & Thompson £9.99
10 (—) Everything I Know About Love
Dolly Alderton Fig Tree £12.99
THE NUMBER IN PARENTHESES REPRESENTS CHART POSITIONS LAST WEEK. DATA SUPPLIED BY WATERSTONES FOR THE WEEK ENDING MARCH 31
children’s book
of the week
Alex O’Connell joins
a boy taking on
mysterious evil forces
The Lifters (8+)
by Dave Eggers,
Scholastic, 311pp;
£12.99
The American
novelist Dave
Eggers has
followed up last
year’s historical
Book
£4.99
picture book about the creation of the
Statue of Liberty with a novel that
explores mental health issues and local
activism through a story about a town
plagued by a force called “the Hollows”.
It’s set in America and centres on a
12-year-old boy called Granite (Gran)
Flowerpetal (the first name is thought
to offset the second) and his family,
including little sister Maisie.
When Gran’s father runs out of work
where they live by the ocean, the family
move inland to a cheaper, wonky house
in the town of Carousel, once famous for
making merry-go-rounds.
The new school seems less unpleasant
than his last, but Gran notices that the
promise of work hasn’t materialised for
his father. Soon, his mother, who uses a
wheelchair, is left alone with the
children for long stretches. His dad must
travel to earn money and so his parents’
relationship breaks down.
Meanwhile, strange things start
happening. Don’t expect the
Demogorgon of Stranger Things,
although the place does have a little of
Hawkins, Indiana, about it, but killer
sinkholes that take out homes.
When the school comes under attack,
Gran sees it as a call to action. With
Catalina, his new friend who burrows
into hills with the help of a magic
handle, he becomes one of the “lifters”
who props up underground tunnels with
hockey sticks to stop “the Hollows” from
making the holes.
This evil force feeds on despair and
there is a lot of it about. Can Gran
reverse his family’s fortunes and stave
off his parents’ ennui in time to stop an
attack on his own turf?
Eggers, best known for
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering
Genius, has written an easily digestible
story with characters to care about.
Some may find that he splashes on the
metaphor too freely, others will consider
it a charming parable for the same
reason.
I came to like the proactive Granite,
the moral rock of the piece: a sensitive
boy who takes the future seriously.
‘A timeless love story’
Santa Montefiore
1921
A boy with a secret. Only the enemy can help.
Will one woman risk everything to save him?
Subject to availability. Selected stores only.
20 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
the critics’ choice
Films Kevin Maher
Top pick
A Quiet Place
John Krasinski, 15
(90min)
{{{{{
Emily Blunt stars in a
petrifying horror
about a family living in
silence to avoid being
eaten by monsters
with super hearing.
Ed Potton
Wonderstruck
Todd Haynes, PG
(116min)
{{{{(
Sweet modern fairytale
about two kids running
away to New York,
one in 1927, the other
in 1977. EP
Ghost Stories
Jeremy Dyson, Andy
Nyman, 15 (98min)
{{{{(
Martin Freeman and
Paul Whitehouse star
in a clever modern twist
on a portmanteau
horror. EP
Thoroughbreds
Cory Finley, 15 (93min)
{{{{(
Deliciously icy noir about
two overprivileged
Connecticut teenagers.
Like Mean Girls directed
by Alfred Hitchcock.
Larushka Ivan-Zadeh
I Kill Giants
Anders Walter, 12A
(106min)
{{{((
Patchy blend of magical
realism, special effects
and tearjerking familial
trauma. LI-Z
Antonio Lopez 1970:
Sex Fashion & Disco
James Crump, 15 (95min)
{{{((
Diverting but skimpy
documentary about the
magnetic Puerto Rican
bisexual, who
encapsulated the
freewheeling vibe of the
early 1970s. LI-Z
Isle of Dogs
Wes Anderson, PG
(101min)
{{{{(
Bleak, witty, ravishing
animation about dogs
in a dystopian Japan.
Kevin Maher
Journeyman
Paddy Considine, 15
(92min)
{{{{(
Gripping drama about
a boxer (Considine) who
has to embrace home life
after a damaging bout.KM
Blockers
Kay Cannon, 15 (102min)
{{{{(
Crude, likeable comedy
about parents trying to
stop their daughters
losing their virginity. EP
Pacific Rim: Uprising
Steven S DeKnight, 12A
(111min)
{{{((
Enjoyable hokum
featuring monsters, giant
robots and a winning turn
from John Boyega. KM
A Wrinkle in Time
Ava DuVernay, PG
(109min)
{{{{(
A girl searches the
Comedy Dominic Maxwell
Top pick
Simon Evans: Genius
Best show yet from the
man who brought laughs
to economics in Simon
Evans Goes to Market on
Radio 4. Here he bemoans
the collapse of public
intelligence. Wedgewood
Rooms, Portsmouth
(02392 863911), Sun; The
Glee Club, Cardiff (0871
4720400), Thur; Savoy
Theatre, Monmouth
(01600 772467), Fri
Mo Gilligan: Coupla Cans
The actor, comic and
social media star formerly
known as Mo the
Comedian gets stuck into
a big tour that runs till
June. Leicester Square
Theatre, London WC2
(020 7734 2222), today,
Thur & Fri, various dates
to June 2
Millicent
Simmonds and
John Krasinski
in A Quiet Place
Bath Comedy Festival
Including new material
from Henning Wehn (Mon
& Tues), Colin Hoult’s
terrific new show as uberactress Anna Mann (Thur)
and Mark Steel’s excellent
Every Little Thing’s Going
to Be Alright, inspired by
the end of his marriage
(Fri). Various venues, Bath
(0800 4118881), Sat-Fri
Book now
Rachel Parris
Now touring with her
show Keynote, the star of
The Mash Report and
Austentatious has already
arranged her follow-up, It’s
Fun to Pretend. The Glee
Club, Birmingham (0871
4720400), Sept 12, then
touring to Sept 30, then
Leicester Square Theatre,
London WC2 (020 7734
2222), March 2, 2019
galaxy for her dad.
Family sci-fi with
emotional wallop. KM
You Were Never
Really Here
Lynne Ramsey, 15
(90min)
{{{{{
Disturbing, abstract
crime movie featuring a
never-better Joaquin
Phoenix as an avenger
hunting down
paedophiles. KM
120 Beats Per Minute
Robin Campillo, 15
(143min)
{{{((
Dramatic award-winning
French film about gay
Aids activists in Paris
during the HIV epidemic
of the 1990s. EP
trapped in an asylum in a
schlocky thriller. EP
Unsane
Steven Soderbergh, 15
(97min)
{{{{(
Claire Foy plays a woman
Wonder Wheel
Woody Allen, 12A
(101min)
{{{{(
Kate Winslet is incendiary
The Square
Ruben Ostlund, 15
(151min)
{{{{{
Compelling satire of the
Swedish art world. KM
as a frustrated actress in
Allen’s tricksy yarn, set in
1950s Coney Island. KM
The Hurricane Heist (12A)
{((((
Disastrous genre mashup
Also showing
Love, Simon (12A)
{{(((
Anodyne coming-out flick
Ready Player One (12A)
{{(((
Synthetic Spielberg sci-fi
about virtual reality
Death Wish (15)
{((((
Vapid vigilante reboot
with Bruce Willis
The Third Murder (15)
{{{{(
Gripping Japanese
drama
Midnight Sun (12A)
{((((
Dire “sick-lit” drama
Classical & opera Richard Morrison
Scottish Chamber Orchestra
Joseph Swensen conducts
Sibelius’s Pelléas et Mélisande,
Beethoven’s Symphony No 8 and
saxophone concertos by
MacMillan and Glazunov, with
saxophonist Amy Dickson.
Queen’s Hall, Edinburgh
(0131 668 2019), Thur; City
Halls, Glasgow (0141 353
8000), Fri
Top pick
Lady Macbeth of Mtsensk
Richard Jones’s harrowing staging of
Shostakovich’s searing opera of
infidelity and murder is revived by
the Royal Opera. Royal Opera
House, London WC2 (020 7304
4000), Thur to April 27
Chineke! Orchestra
Britain’s first black and
minority ethnic orchestra
reopens the refurbished
Queen Elizabeth Hall and
visits Bristol with a programme
of Britten, Beethoven and the
premiere of Daniel Kidane’s Dream
Song. Queen Elizabeth Hall, London
SE1 (020 3879 9555), Mon; St George’s,
Bristol (0845 4024001), Wed
Dido and Aeneas
Purcell’s sublime chamber opera is
performed by David Bates’s excellent
La Nuova Musica with a top-notch cast.
Wigmore Hall, London W1 (020 7935
2141), today (1pm)
Iolanthe
Parliament satirised,
Victorian- style, by
Gilbert and Sullivan in one
of their most enduring
romps, staged by Cal McCrystal
for English National Opera. Coliseum,
London WC2 (020 7845 9300), today
(2.30pm)
Lady
Macbeth of
Mtsensk,
Royal
Opera
House
Angela Hewitt
One of the world’s top Bach
interpreters on the piano plays Goldberg
Variations, composed to help a nobleman
to sleep. St David’s Hall, Cardiff (029
2087 8444), Sun (3pm)
Giulio Cesare
Christian Curnyn conducts one of
Handel’s most brilliant operas, with Tim
Mead as Julius Caesar and Anna Devin
as Cleopatra. St John’s Smith Square,
London SW1 (020 7222 1061), Wed
Ulster Orchestra
Tasmin Little is the soloist in Elgar’s
deeply wistful Violin Concerto, and
Jac van Steen conducts Sibelius’s
Pohjola’s Daughter and David
Matthews’s Symphony No 8. Ulster Hall,
Belfast (028 9033 4455), Fri
Book now
Lichfield Festival
Strictly Come Dancing stars in the
cathedral; a celebration of
extraordinary women to mark the
centenary of women getting the vote;
and visits by the City of Birmingham
Symphony Orchestra, the BBC National
Orchestra of Wales and many other
fine ensembles. Various venues,
Lichfield (01543 412121), July 4-14,
online booking opens Tues
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 21
1G R
Curtain Call
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thetimes.co.uk/curtaincall
Theatre Ann Treneman
Exhibitions Rachel Campbell-Johnston
© SOUTHAMPTON CITY ART GALLERY/BRIDGEMAN IMAGES
Tomb Raider (12A)
{((((
Flaccid reboot
Peter Rabbit (PG)
{{{((
Amicable, if CGI-heavy
Finding Your
Feet (12A)
{{{((
Grey-pound comedy
Mary Magdalene (12A)
{{(((
Bloodless biblical drama
Black Panther (12A)
{{{{(
Vivid superhero movie
Sweet Country (15)
{{{{(
Harsh outback western
Crowhurst (12A)
{{{{(
Story of a doomed sailor
The Islands and
the Whales (12A)
{{{{(
A quirky look at the
Faroe Islands
I Got Life (15)
{{{((
French menopause yarn
Westwood: Punk,
Icon, Activist (15)
{{{{(
Celebratory documentary
about Vivienne Westwood
My Generation (12A)
{{{((
Swinging London doc
Game Night (15)
{{{{(
Fun comedy-thriller
Top pick
Top pick
Monet and Architecture
We all know about the
haystacks, but what
about the great built
monuments? Curators
take a new approach to
the painter who is
probably among the most
popular and instantly
recognisable in the world.
National Gallery, London
WC2 (0800 9126958),
Mon to July 29
The Inheritance
I am not a fan of long
shows, but this is the
exception that proves my
rule: this two-part,
seven-hour saga from
Matthew Lopez zeroes in
on the New York gay
scene one generation on
from the Aids crisis. It’s
Forster’s Howards End,
updated and box-set
riveting. Stephen Daldry
directs. Young Vic,
London SE1 (020 7922
2922), to May 19
Sawdust and Sequins:
The Art of the Circus
Roll up, roll up: this
historical and
contemporary look at how
the circus has inspired
artists’ work marks 250
years of circus in the UK.
Royal West Academy,
Bristol (0117 9735129), to
June 3
The Church at Vétheuil on show in Monet and Architecture at the National Gallery
Powerful Tides: 400
Years of Chatham and
the Sea
A dramatic artistic
celebration of the
anniversary of a great
historic dockyard, of the
ships that were built there
and its links with
watercourses and seas.
Historic Dockyard,
Chatham (01634 823800),
to June 17
Damien Hirst at
Houghton Hall
New paintings by Hirst
take up residence in a
Palladian mansion, while
sculptures are scattered
about the grounds.
Houghton Hall, King’s
Lynn, Norfolk (01485
528569), to July 15
Picasso 1932: Love,
Fame, Tragedy
Focusing on a single
crux year in the life of
the great modern master,
this show is impregnated
with an atmosphere of
eroticism. Tate Modern,
London SE1 (020 7887
8888), to Sept 9
Anthony McCall:
Solid Light Works
Survey of the artist
who, using light as a
medium, works at the
point where cinema,
sculpture and drawing
overlap. Hepworth
Wakefield (01924
247360), to June 3
America’s Cool
Modernism
Significant loans bring
works from the Roaring
Twenties and the
Depression-era
Thirties together to
look at the rise of the
concept of “cool”.
Ashmolean Museum,
Oxford (01865 278000),
to July 22
Another Kind of Life:
Photography on the
Margins
Gender, sexuality,
addiction, youth culture:
these are the subjects
broached by
photographers who focus
on minority groups.
Barbican Art Gallery,
London EC2 (020 7638
8891), to May 27
Dance Debra Craine
Top pick
English National Ballet
In this programme, billed as Voices of
America, ENB presents an evening of
North American choreography. There’s a
world premiere from William Forsythe —
a rare event — plus Jerome Robbins’s
wonderfully feral 1951 The Cage (set to
Stravinsky’s Concerto in D) and a
reworked version of Aszure Barton’s
Fantastic Beings. Sadler’s Wells, London
EC1 (020 7863 8000), Thur to April 21
Manon
This umpteenth revival of Kenneth
MacMillan’s sensuous ballet about a
Parisian courtesan (with music by
Massenet) proves that audiences still
can’t resist the sight of a ballerina being
put through the emotional wringer. Royal
Opera House, London WC2 (020 7304
4000), Wed & Fri, in rep to May 16
Cinderella
Matthew Bourne turns Prokofiev’s
fairytale ballet on its head, setting the
tale in London during the Blitz. Before
Book now
Cedric Morris: Artist
Plantsman/Beyond the
Garden Wall
Two shows in London
run concurrently about
the eccentric modernist
who loved plants as
much as painting and
who, establishing the
East Anglian School
where Lucian Freud,
among others, was a
pupil, would turn his
students out into the
grounds to learn.
Garden Museum, London
SE1 (020 7401 8865)
and Philip Mould & Co,
London SW1 (020 7499
6818), April 18 to
July 22
The Fantastic Follies
of Mrs Rich
Sophie Stanton is a hoot
in this sumptuous RSC
revival of Mary Pix’s
Restoration comedy,
originally named The
Beau Defeated, rarely
seen since the 1700s.
It has a distinctly
female slant and is tons
of fun though the two
Irish wolfhounds try to
steal the show. Swan
Theatre, Stratford-uponAvon (01789 403493),
to June 14.
A Streetcar
Named Desire
Kelly Gough is not as
well known as her Olivier
award-winning sister,
Denise, but I suspect
that won’t be the case
for long. She gives a
compelling performance
as the frail Blanche in this
under-lit, semi-modern
touring production of
Tennessee Williams’s
classic play about
frustration and delusion.
Malvern Theatre (01684
892277), Tues to April 14,
then touring
The Great Wave
It’s the last week for this
intriguing new play from
Francis Turnly that is part
diplomatic detective story
and part family saga, set
in Japan in the 1970s. The
North Korean scenes are
gripping. Dorfman,
National Theatre, London
SE1 (020 7452 3000), to
April 14
Book now
The King and I
Such is the demand for
this Tony award-winning
show, which comes to
the West End from the
Lincoln Center in New
York, that its run has
been extended again.
Kelli O’Hara and Ken
Watanabe star, while
Bartlett Sher, last seen
in London with Oslo,
directs. Shall we dance?
Palladium, London W1
(020 7087 7757),
June 21-Sept 29
The Inheritance at
the Young Vic
Pop Will Hodgkinson
Cinders can be happy with
her dashing RAF pilot, she
has to dodge German bombs.
Lots of fun. Wales Millennium
Centre, Cardiff (029 2063
6464), today; Empire Theatre,
Liverpool (0870 6063536), Tues
to April 14
Highland Fling
Bourne again, with his
entertaining rewrite of La Sylphide,
in which the 19th-century romantic
tale is filtered through the druggy
sensibilities of Trainspotting. Performed
by Scottish Ballet. Theatre Royal,
Glasgow (0844 8717647), today; Festival
Theatre, Edinburgh (0131 529 6000),
Tues to April 14
Book now
The Tap Pack
Slick suits and sharp songs meet in this
comedy tap show inspired by the kings
of swing and set to songs from Sinatra to
Ed Sheeran. Peacock Theatre, London
WC2 (020 7863 8222), May 1-19
English National
Ballet at Sadler’s
Wells
Top pick
Bryan Ferry
The old smoothie — and
notorious
perfectionist —
offers finely honed
versions of Roxy
Music and solo favourites
such as Avalon and
Jealous Guy. St David’s
Hall, Cardiff (029 2087
8444), Mon; Philharmonic
Hall, Liverpool, Wed; O2
Apollo, Manchester, Fri
Harry Styles
The One Direction
member with the best
solo material — his 2017
debut recalls the
emotional pop of Bowie’s
Hunky Dory — Styles
appeases his vast fanbase
with a quick arena tour.
Genting Arena,
Birmingham (0844
3388222), today;
Manchester Arena, Mon;
O2 Arena, London SE10,
Wed & Thur
Goat Girl
Jagged, confrontational
post-punk in the vein of
the Fall and the Slits from
four young south
Londoners. The Cluny,
Newcastle upon Tyne
(0191 230 4474), Mon;
Sneaky Pete’s, Edinburgh,
Tues
Roy Orbison in Dreams:
The Hologram Tour
We’ll be seeing a lot more
of this: a much-loved dead
pop star rises from the
grave via the magic of
technology, while the
Royal Philharmonic
Concert Orchestra plays
the hits. Motorpoint Arena
Cardiff (029 2022 4488),
Sun; Genting Arena,
Birmingham, Mon; O2
Apollo, Manchester, Wed;
Edinburgh Playhouse,
Thur; SEC Armadillo,
Glasgow, Fri
Lil Uzi Vert
US emo-rapper who has
tapped into Xanaxdrenched teen alienation
to great effect; his 2017
debut album went to No 1
on the Billboard charts.
Manchester Academy
(0161 832 1111), Sun; O2
Academy Birmingham,
Mon; O2 Academy Brixton,
London SW9, Tues
Book now
Rolling Stones
The greatest rock’n’roll
band get in one more
stadium tour while they
still can. London Stadium
(020 8522 6001), May 22
& 25; then touring to
June 19
Ektertaikmekts
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Nabeelah Jaffer Islam and Britishness
Libby Purves Tinder of the 1940s
SEPTEMBER 15 2017 No. 5972
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THE TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
Armistead Maupin – How I wrote Tales of the City
Patrick J. Murray Montaigne’s social network
Jamie Fisher Angry like Mailer
Charlotte Shane Provocations of feminism
Samuel Earle Never getting bored of Barthes
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Wandering, wondering
Inspirations of Dante
Rowan Williams
Ian Thomson
Annette Kobak on women and the Grand Tour
Jan Marsh on Ruskin in Europe
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the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 23
1G R
tv & radio Full seven-day listings & previews
Critic’s choice
Secret Agent
Selection: WW2
Radio choice
Living on the Edge
Wed, World Service, 10pm
The Child Saver
of Mosul
Mon, BBC Two, 9pm
There’s a surprising amount of
fun to be had from watching
secretive military techniques
from the 1940s. Part history
programme, part reality TV,
this five-part series focuses on
the training policies of the
Special Operations Executive.
This underground army was
formed by Churchill as Nazi
forces threatened from Calais,
20 miles from British shores,
after the retreat from Dunkirk.
The training techniques,
only recently declassified, are
unexpected: would-be recruits
are seated at desks to take a
test, only for armed men to
run in firing rifles. A task in
which they have to stand up
and accuse one of the others
of being the weakest recruit
is diabolical viewing. The
documentary is also peppered
with stories from original
members, making this
an enjoyably educational
watch as well as human
interest viewing. It turns
out that the RAF originally
refused to transport agents in
plain clothes because air
chiefs thought covert warfare
unethical.
Thur, World Service, 10pm
Modern-day Brits see
how they shape up in
Secret Agent Selection
Alexi Duggins
Best of the rest
Golf: US Masters 2018
Today/Sun, BBC Two, 7.30pm
Amid dogwoods and azaleas
there’ll be the usual agony and
ecstasy as golf’s finest battle it
out in the final two rounds.
The Secret Life of Owls
Channel 5, 7pm
Barn and little owls will charm
your socks off in a film that
follows a year in their life at a
disused Essex airfield.
Jesus’ Female Disciples:
The New Evidence
Sun, Channel 4, 8pm
Two Bible experts question
centuries of Christian thought
and find evidence of female
disciples crucial to Christ’s
On demand
mission. Do Christians need to
rethink the origin of their faith?
Ordeal by Innocence
Sun, BBC One, 9pm
Part two of this rich and dark
Christie and the plot thickens
for the deeply dysfunctional
Argyll family, hissing heinous
accusations at each other over
the breakfast kippers.
Urban Myths
Thur, Sky Arts, 9pm
This mischievous series —
starry imaginings of popcultural folklore — returns with
“true-ish” depictions of
everything from Marilyn
Monroe botching her lines to
backstage at Live Aid (“Where’s
Alison Moyet?” tantrums Elton
John). Good fun. See page 4
The Vietnam War
Wed, PBS America, 9pm
After the acclaim poured on it
during its BBC Four broadcast,
this account of the Vietnam
war by Ken Burns and Lynn
Novick is now shown uncut —
that’s 18 hours of masterly
TV history.
Law & Order
Thur, BBC Four, 10pm
First repeated in 2011,
GF Newman’s 1978 serial was
once contentious for depicting
a police system rife with blags,
snouts and nice little earners.
You may need a glossary of
slang to hand. James Jackson
The best of Netflix, Amazon, iPlayer and beyond
Fastest Car
Netflix
Watch out Top Gear and
Grand Tour, here’s Netflix with
a show pitting supercars
against souped-up
custom cars — a 2011
Pontiac minivan, it
seems, can leave a
Porsche GT3 in the
dust. It remains to
be seen if it’s just
car-crash telly.
Westworld
Sky Box Sets and Now TV
Later this month the sci-fi
mind-scrambler will return on
a wave of hype; before then
catch up on the first — an
existential theme-park
western of sinister scientists,
cool gunslingers and vengeful
android whores, left.
Sex Robots and Us
BBC Three, from Sun
A Westworld reality
may be closer than
we think, as this
investigation discovers.
Lifelike sex robots are
apparently already being used
in brothels, and there are
plans to offer them to homes
for the elderly. But do we
really want these glorified sex
dolls in our lives? JJ
Happiness, as the saying goes,
writes in white. Happy news
stories write in an even fainter
print. Yet the World Service
seems determined to change
that: its programmes look
not merely at the world’s
problems, but also at solutions.
Take Living on the Edge on
Wednesday, part of The
Compass series, which looks at
desertification in Mongolia —
or rather its reverse. At the
age of 20, Yin Yuzhen found
herself, thanks to an arranged
marriage, in the Maowusu
Desert in Inner Mongolia.
There was nothing there but
her husband and sand. So she
decided to change things and
started planting trees. Since
she arrived, 32 years ago, she
has planted a million. Now
flowers bloom and birds sing.
The locals there call her a
goddess; with good reason.
On Thursday Assignment
offers — if not quite happiness
— then certainly optimism in
The Child Saver of Mosul. It
looks at an Iraqi woman called
Sukayna Mohamed Younes.
She has decided to try to find
and identify all the missing
children in Mosul and reunite
them with their families. A vast
task — and a fraught one as
she treats victims of IS and
children of IS equally because,
she says, “they are all just
children; they are all innocent”.
Catherine Nixey
Podcast choice
Great Leap Years
itunes.com
With Stephen Fry presenting
and a 75-piece orchestra
playing the title music, this
show on inventions is a far cry
from the two-blokes-in-theirbackroom format that can
bedevil the medium. It’s out
on Monday and bound to be
good. CN
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24 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Saturday 7 | Viewing guide
ANDREW REDINGTON/GETTY IMAGES
Critic’s choice
Live Golf: The Masters
BBC Two, 7.30pm/Sky Sports Golf, 7pm
While Sky’s impressive wall-towall Masters coverage leaves
no azalea unturned in its
souped-up touchscreen
analysis, BBC Sport continues
to hang on to the event with
live coverage of the back nine
during the final two rounds,
starting tonight. And long
may it last — this most thrilling
of golf competitions wouldn’t
be the same without the
venerable Peter Alliss’s
capricious expertise (burbling
mildly surreal asides before
getting cross over a player’s
flashy new haircut), or Ken
Brown’s prerecorded on-thecourse segments (“one false
move at Amen Corner and the
old girl will getcha!”). It offers
an older, more characterful
style to the coverage that
would be impossible to
replicate. And if there’s
any danger of club-bore
crustiness, there is also the
fresh face of 34-year-old
Eilidh Barbour, newly
ensconced in the anchor’s
chair vacated by Hazel Irvine.
Today’s third round is “moving
day”, as the players step out
of any safety play to make a
push up the leaderboard.
Amen Corner, the dangerous
stretch of holes between the
11th and 13th, has derailed
many a contender; conversely,
an eagle at the par-five 15th is
a way to get back on track (as
last year’s winner, Sergio
García, found, pictured). With
this being the only major held
at the same course each year,
it means the wonderful back
nine of Augusta is familiar
even to lay fans of the sport.
All of which is to say that this
weekend is typically as
electrifying as golf gets. And if
Tiger Woods has made the cut
and is on any kind of charge,
the roars from the galleries
will be thunderous. Here’s
hoping. James Jackson
Further recommendations
Get in the mood with classic Masters films, which are playing
on Sky Sports Golf all day until the live coverage starts at 7pm
The Secret
Life of Owls
Britain’s Most
Historic Towns
Below the Surface
Troy: Fall of a City
BBC Four, 9pm
BBC One, 9.10pm
Channel 5, 7pm
Channel 4, 8pm
Are owls the uncanny voice of
darkness or beautiful creatures
of wisdom? Ruthless killers or
cute feathery friends? All of
these things, actually, but The
Secret Life of Owls (first shown
in February on new channel,
5Select) is mostly rooted in that
last camp. And it’s a captivating,
lovingly-made programme as
it follows a year in the life of
two barn owls named Missing
Claw and Stripe Tail patrolling
a disused Essex airfield, along
with a pair of punchy little owls
called Geronimo and Flo,
running and hopping about
like fluffballs on legs. JJ
“I’ll reveal the story of an era
through the story of a single
town,” declares Dr Alice
Roberts, as she strides down
the high street of Chester in the
first of this series about British
history. This week our Roman
heritage is the subject, as
Roberts abseils down ancient
walls and “aerial archaeologist”
Ben Robinson flies over the city
in a biplane, telling us how
fascinating the layout of its
streets is. More attempts to
bring it to life involve CGI
reconstructions of buildings
and a spot of silly dressing up
in Roman garb. Alexi Duggins
The top dogs start to lose
control in the double-bill finale
of the crime drama, as Philip’s
boss realises that the head
terrorist is an old aquaintance
of his. Meanwhile the junior
hostage-takers get a bit uppity
with their chief about how long
they have spent in a tunnel.
The series’ way of delivering
three-dimensional characters
fleshed out by excellent,
revealing flashbacks also
moves up a gear, with Philip
(Johannes Lassen) and Naja
Toft (Paprika Steen) the
subjects this week. Below the
Surface has been a tense,
gripping series with a powerful
emotional pull throughout. AD
You’ll never guess what those
clever Greeks have come up
with for the finale of this series
about the Trojan War. Some
kind of wooden horsey thing
(who saw that coming?).
Elsewhere, Andromache
continues to agitate against
Helen, causing Paris to take
his wife by the hand and
flounce out of a gloomy family
dinner. At times the BBC’s
dramatisation of the decadelong Trojan War has had a
narrative pace so slow that it
feels as though the production
is unfolding in real time,
but there are swords and
shields aplenty tonight as
it sputters to a close. AD
Catch
up
The Bridge
BBC iPlayer, to June
21
With the fourth
series of The
Bridge due to air
next month on
BBC Two, there is
still time to
binge-watch the
first three series
— all 30 episodes
are on iPlayer for
two months. The
first series set out
the stall for this
unique and much
vaunted Scandi-noir — the
body of a woman has been
dumped exactly in the middle
of the Oresund Bridge
connecting Denmark and
Sweden. Two cops, an
autistic female Swede
in leather trousers,
Saga Noren (Sofia
Helin), and a
male Dane
suffering a
midlife crisis,
Martin Rohde
(Kim Bodnia),
are put in
charge of the
investigation,
forming one of the
most compelling
double acts yet to
grace the small
screen. Joe Clay
Variations
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
5.00pm-5.15 Final Score from Northern
Ireland. A round-up of the day’s action
along with the classified results
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
6.00pm Suzi Perry’s Queens of the Road.
Documentary in which the presenter
attends the Cookstown 100 motorcycle
road race, and meets three female
competitors. Belfast resident Yvonne
Montgomery took up the sport 10 years
ago following her divorce, Melissa
Kennedy from County Fermanagh
works alongside her father, who
maintains her bikes, while Veronika
Hankocyova has travelled from Prague
and delayed her wedding to compete (r)
6.30-7.30 The Conference. Tara Mills
presents live coverage of the SDLP
annual conference including the speech
by the party leader Colum Eastwood
● BBC1 Scotland As BBC One except:
4.30pm-5.15 Live Sportscene.
David Currie presents the classified
results and a round-up of the afternoon’s
main football news. Plus, a look
back at the week’s talking points
● STV As ITV except: 12.40am-1.40
Teleshopping. Buying goods
2.40 Babushka. Game show hosted by
Rylan Clark-Neal in which contestants
open a set of giant Russian nesting dolls,
with some containing prizes up to
£10,000 (r) 3.30 ITV Nightscreen 4.05
The Jeremy Kyle Show. Guests air their
differences (r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 12.40am
Teleshopping 2.40-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.00 Stwnsh Sadwrn
10.15 Yr Ynys (r) 11.15 Ceffylau Cymru (r)
11.45 O Gymru Fach (r) 12.45pm Cefn
Gwlad (r) 1.45 Live Clwb Rygbi: Cheetahs
v Cardiff Blues (Kick-off 2.00). Coverage
of the PRO14 fixture, which takes place at
Toyota Stadium in Bloemfontein, South
Africa 4.00 Ffermio (r) 4.25 Bois y Ffair (r)
4.50 News a Chwaraeon 5.00 Live Rygbi:
Ebbw Vale v Merthyr (Kick-off 5.15).
Coverage of the SWALEC Cup semi-final
clash at Pandy Park in Crosskeys 7.15 Live
Sgorio: Connah’s Quay Nomads v Bangor
City (Kick-off 7.35). Dylan Ebenezer
presents coverage of the JD Welsh Cup
semi-final at Corbett Sports Stadium in
Rhyl 9.45 Noson Lawen Eisteddfod Sir.
Gâr (r) 11.15-11.50 Hansh (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
Legend (18, 2015)
Channel 4, 9pm
What’s better than Tom Hardy? Two Tom Hardys in Brylcreem and
sharp suits knocking seven bells out of one another in an East End
gangster film based on the real-life story of the Kray twins. This
biopic is an awful mess, but it’s worth a watch for Hardy (Hardies?)
alone. Oozing bullish menace, he plays Reggie and Ronnie
in a miracle of CGI, split-screen, body-double wizardry. Hardy
plays Reggie as a straight businessman with an occasional
taste for surprise violence and Ronnie as a gay, capricious,
spittle-mouthed psychopath. They are two magnificent
performances. (131min) Wendy Ide
Sherlock Holmes: A Game
of Shadows (12, 2011)
ITV, 10.30pm
Guy Ritchie brought us a
hyperkinetic Sherlock Holmes in
2009, but in the sequel he went
into overdrive. Once again Robert
Downey Jr, pictured with Noomi
Rapace, is a dandyish Holmes and
Jude Law is Dr Watson, but the
guns are Gatling-sized, the bomb blasts bigger, the fights more
cartoonish. It’s loosely based on Doyle’s The Final Problem, in
which Holmes meets the master criminal Moriarty in 1891. This
heralds the arrival of Jared Harris as Holmes’s arch-enemy, and the
conversational jousting between the two in Moriarty’s book-filled
study is a rare moment of tradition. Stephen Fry struts about
naked as Holmes’s brother, Mycroft. (123min) Kate Muir
Having You (15, 2013)
BBC Two, midnight
A gentle, low-key British drama, this film explores the impact on
a marriage of the arrival of a child from a previous relationship.
Jack (Broadchurch’s Andrew Buchan) and his fiancée, Camilla
(Romola Garai), are having fertility issues. But things, finally, seem
to be working out and he has proposed to her. Then a one-night
stand from his distant past crash-lands in his life. And she has
his seven-year-old son in tow. Anna Friel is magnetic as Jack’s
former lover; Isaac Andrews plays their son, Phoenix. Fatefully,
Jack decides to keep all this a secret from Camilla. But when
the truth comes out, as it inevitably must, it drives a wedge
between them. (92min) WI
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 25
1G R
Saturday 7
Also available online and on tablet
Digital subscribers can now use our interactive seven-day
guide with comprehensive listings of all TV channels
thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast. News and sport
10.00 Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Further coverage of day three
of the Games as Adam Peaty goes in
the men’s 100m breaststroke final
(10.45am), plus the men’s 20km race
walk, track cycling and netball all high
on the agenda 12.00 Football Focus
1.00pm BBC News; Weather 1.15 Golf:
The Masters Highlights. The second
day at the Augusta National 2.15
Commonwealth Games 2018. Day
three highlights 4.30 Final Score 5.15 A
Question of Sport (r) 5.45 Doodlebugs
6.00 Ready or Not 6.30 BBC News
6.40 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.50 Pointless Celebrities. A writers’
special of the quiz, featuring Charlie
Higson, Sally Gardner, Fern Britton,
Jilly Cooper, Peter James, Martina
Cole, Hanif Kureishi and Grace Dent
6.00am Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Coverage of the third day in
Queensland, with artistic gymnastics,
netball and track cycling among the
sports taking place 10.00 Robot Wars
(r) 11.00 Homes Under the Hammer
(r) 12.00 Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Coverage as day three of the
Games reaches its conclusion with
swimming medals up for grabs in
the women’s 200m breaststroke and
4x200m freestyle relay 2.15pm
MasterChef (r) 2.45 MasterChef (r)
3.45 Escape to the Country. A search
for a rural home in Norfolk (r) 4.15
Money for Nothing (r) 5.00 Big Cats
About the House. An injured cheetah
needs help. Last in the series (r) 6.00
Today at the Games. Clare Balding
and Gabby Logan round up the third
day of the Commonwealth Games
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled!
9.25 ITV News 9.30 James Martin’s
Saturday Morning. With the comedian
Chris Ramsey and the chef Kenny
Atkinson 11.25 Who’s Doing the
Dishes? Ian “H” Watkins is the
celebrity host (r) 12.20pm The
Harbour (r) 12.50 ITV News; Weather
1.00 Midsomer Murders. A country
magazine and its outspoken owner
come under scrutiny from Barnaby
and Jones when a body is discovered
in woodland. Drama starring John
Nettles (r) 3.00 Tenable. Quiz hosted
by Warwick Davis (r) 4.00 Tipping
Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz show (r) 5.00
The Chase (r) 6.00 ITV News; Weather
6.15 Regional News; Weather 6.30
New You’ve Been Framed! A runaway
speedboat causes a traffic accident
6.15am Mobil 1: The Grid 6.45 Motor
Sport: British GT 7.40 Everybody
Loves Raymond (r) 8.05 Everybody
Loves Raymond (r) 8.35 Everybody
Loves Raymond (r) 9.05 Frasier (r)
9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05 Frasier (r) 10.35
The Big Bang Theory (r) 11.05 The Big
Bang Theory (r) 11.35 The Big Bang
Theory (r) 12.00 The Simpsons (r)
12.30pm The Simpsons (r) 1.00 Live
Formula 1 Bahrain Grand Prix Practice
3. From the Bahrain International
Circuit in Sakhir 2.30 F1 Meets David
Coulthard. The former F1 driver
discusses his career (r) 2.55 Live
Formula 1 Bahrain Grand Prix
Qualifying. From the Bahrain
International Circuit (Start-time 4.00)
5.45 Car SOS. Tim Shaw and Fuzz
Townshend attempt to rescue a
Datsun 240z (r) 6.40 Channel 4 News
6.00am Milkshake! 10.00 Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.35 The
Gadget Show (r) 11.30 Traffic Cops. An
insight into the working life of officers
patrolling Yorkshire’s roads (r)
12.30pm Traffic Cops. A teenage
driver leads officers on a high-speed
chase across Leeds (r) 1.30 Live Aviva
Premiership Rugby Union: Bath v
Leicester Tigers (Kick-off 2.00). Mark
Durden-Smith and David Flatman
present coverage of the top-flight
match at Twickenham 4.15 Can’t Pay?
We’ll Take It Away! Agents try to
collect nearly £2,500 in unpaid
parking fines (r) 5.10 Can’t Pay? We’ll
Take It Away! Officers chase a debt of
nearly £50,000 in unpaid rent (r) 6.05
Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! A
dispute between a landlord and a
tenant who refuses to leave (r)
Troy: Fall of a City concludes (9.10pm)
Drama Having You (midnight)
Classic Midsomer Murders (1pm)
Alice Roberts in Chester (8pm)
A little owl in flight (7pm)
7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night
Takeaway Declan Donnelly
presents the finale live from
the Universal Orlando Resort
in Florida, with super-sized
audience surprises, incredible
stunts and celebrity guests.
Last in the series (7/7)
7.00 Coastal Railways with Julie
Walters The actress travels on
the famous Great Western
Railway, visiting a supposedly
haunted castle at Kingswear
and recalling childhood
holidays at Torquay (3/4) (r)
7.00 The Secret Life of Owls
Following the lives of owls
living on a former First World
War airfield in Essex during
winter, spring and summer.
See Viewing Guide (1/2)
8.00 Britain’s Most Historic Towns
New series. Alice Roberts
explores the UK’s past through
the stories of its towns,
beginning with Chester,
examining its Roman heritage
by delving into the town’s
history. See Viewing Guide (1/6)
8.00 Everest: World’s Greatest
Mountain Cameras explore the
wonder of the world’s most
iconic mountains, beginning
with the highest in the world
— Mount Everest (1/4) (r)
7.40 Who Dares Wins Nick Knowles
presents the game show in
which complete strangers
paiir up to wiin money (3/10)
8.20 Casualty Ethan treats a
pregnant woman who was
rushed to the ED after her
waters broke at a bus stop, and
Sam admits that she is worried
about Dylan’s alcoholism
9.10 Troy: Fall of a City The Trojans
are stunned to discover a
deserted Greek camp, and all
that remains on the beach is an
offering to the gods in the form
of a wooden horse. Last in the
series. See Viewing Guide
10.10 BBC News; Weather; followed
by National Lottery Update
7.30 Live Golf: The Masters Eilidh
Barbour introduces coverage of
the third day of the US Masters
from the Augusta National in
Georgiia, as the openiing Majjor
of the year continues. The
Yorkshireman Danny Willett
was the defending champion
here last year, but two poor
opening rounds of 73 and 78
saw him miss the cut by one
stroke, becoming the first
holder of the Green Jacket to
exit the tournament on Friday
since Mike Weir in 2004. At the
other end of the leaderboard,
the first-round pacesetter
Charley Hoffman only managed
a three-over round of 75 to
allow Thomas Pieters, Rickie
Fowler and the eventual
champion Sergio Garcia to join
him at the top of the standings.
Tonight’s commentary comes
from Peter Alliss, Ken Brown,
Andrew Cotter and Paul
Azinger. See Viewing Guide
10.30 Match of the Day Gary Lineker
presents highlights of the latest
Premier League matches,
including Manchester City v
Manchester United at the
Etihad Stadium and Everton v
Liverpool at Goodison Park
11.55 Live Commonwealth Games
2018 JJ Chalmers introduces
live coverage on day four of the
Games in Queensland, with
swimming, and boxing among
the standout sports on today’s
schedule, while England’s
women take on India in the pool
stage of the hockey
8.30 The Voice UK: Live Final The
grand final of the singing
contest, as the remaining four
singers battle it out to land a
lucrative recording contract
with Polydor Records. Plus,
coaches Jennifer Hudson, Tom
Jones, Will.i.am and Olly Murs
take to the stage for a special
performance together, before
the viewing public decide who
will be the winner of this year’s
competition. Last in the series
10.10 ITV News
10.30 FILM Sherlock Holmes: A Game
of Shadows (12, 2011) The
detective investigates a series
of seemingly unconnected
crimes, and becomes convinced
the elusive Professor Moriarty
is behind them all. He sets forth
to bring the evil mastermind to
justice, but finds he is dealing
with a foe who is his intellectual
equal. Detective thriller sequel
starring Robert Downey Jr and
Jude Law. See Film Choice
12.00 FILM Having You (PG, 2013)
A man with a fear of commitment is
confronted with the news that he has
a seven-year-old son. Drama starring
Andrew Buchan. See Film Choice
1.30am Civilisations (r) 2.30 Weather
for the Week Ahead 2.35 BBC News
12.40am Jackpot247. Viewers
participate in live interactive gaming
from the comfort of their sofas 3.00
Babushka. Game show hosted by
Rylan Clark-Neal in which contestants
open a set of giant Russian nesting
dolls (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
9.00 FILM Legend (18, 2015) Biopic
of the Kray brothers, exploring
their rise to power in the
London underworld and
conflicts with rival gangs from
the point of view of Reggie’s
wife Frances, who remains
devoted to her husband even
as he remains equally bound
to his brutal, unstable sibling.
Starring Tom Hardy as both
twins, with Christopher
Eccleston, Emily Browning and
David Thewlis. See Film Choice
11.35 FILM Abraham Lincoln:
Vampire Hunter (15, 2012)
Fantasy thriller starring
Benjamin Walker
1.30am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
USA. Gordon Ramsay heads to the
Prohibition Grille in Everett,
Washington (r) 2.20 Hollyoaks.
Omnibus (r) (SL) 4.30 Kirstie’s Fill
Your House for Free (r) 4.45 Building
the Dream (r) 5.40 Streetmate (r)
8.55 5 News Weekend
9.00 Football on 5: The
Championship Highlights
from the weekend’s games,
including Cardiff City v
Wolverhampton Wanderers
and Norwich City v Aston Villa
10.00 Football on 5: Goal Rush
Highlights of AFC Wimbledon v
Scunthorpe United
10.30 20 Moments That Rocked
the 90s The Cold Feet star
Helen Baxendale presents a
countdown of memorable
moments from the 1990s,
including the death of Diana,
Princess of Wales , the release
of Nelson Mandela from prison,
and the music chart battle
between Blur and Oasis (r)
12.00 SuperCasino. Live gaming
3.10am FILM The Other Guys (12,
2010) Two incompetent cops get the
chance to become heroes. Comedy
with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg
4.55 Great Scientists (r) (SL) 5.20
Wildlife SOS (r) (SL) 5.50 Access
26 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Satu
Pete ’n Dud
Saturday 7 | Primetime digital guide
Revisiting the duo’s work in
Peter Cook & Dudley Moore:
The Missing Sketches
More4, 8pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Insect Worlds Steve
Backshall explores the
relationships humans have
with insects, arachnids and
crustaceans (1/3) (R)
7.30 Commonwealth Games
Extra The third day’s action,
with triathlon, swimming,
track cycling and artistic
gymnastics all taking place
9.00 Below the Surface
Philip learns who is behind
the hostage crisis See
Viewing Guide (7/8)
9.45 Below the Surface Philip
tries to free the hostages
himself. Last in the series.
See Viewing Guide (8/8)
10.30 Top of the Pops: 1985 Music
by UB40 with Chrissie
Hynde and Madonna (R)
11.00 Boy George and Culture
Club: Karma to Calamity
The history of the band (R)
12.00-12.30am Young Guns Go for
It The 1980s girl group
Bananarama (3/4) (R)
7.00pm Midsomer Murders
The murder of the biscuit
factory boss Eric Calder
leads Barnaby and Nelson to
Copenhagen, where they
join forces with local
detectives Birgitte Poulsen
and Anna Degn in the
hunt for the killer (R)
9.00 Midsomer Murders The
bell-ringers of Midsomer
Wellow are mysteriously
murdered one by one — and
it seems an ancient rhyme
may hold the key to the
killer’s motive. John Nettles
and Daniel Casey star (R)
11.00-1.00am Vera A woman is
murdered in a hedgerow
but her son survives the
attack. As the investigation
into the mother’s killing
unfolds, DCI Vera Stanhope
finds a kindred spirit in the
boy and comes to realise
the key to solving the case
lies deep in his memory (R)
6.55pm Come Dine with Me The
fourth night in Harrogate,
North Yorkshire (R)
7.25 Come Dine with Me Alasdair
Moore hosts the final dinner
party in Harrogate (R)
8.00 Peter Cook & Dudley
Moore: The Missing
Sketches Rob Brydon gives
a selection of celebrity fans,
friends and colleagues a
chance to see a selection of
long-lost sketches (R)
9.00 Sarah Millican: Thoroughly
Modern Millican Live
Stand-up performance at
London’s Hammersmith
Apollo, from 2012 (R)
10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
Countdown With Rob
Beckett, Cariad Lloyd and
Jamie Laing (R)
11.10-12.10am 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown With
guests Isy Suttie, Richard
Osman, and Alex Horne and
the Horne Section (R)
7.00pm FILM X-Men (12, 2000)
Mutant outsiders with
strange powers fight to
defend mankind from a
superhuman terrorist
faction. Sci-fi comic-book
adventure starring Hugh
Jackman, Patrick Stewart
and Ian McKellen
9.00 FILM X-Men 2 (12, 2003)
The X-Men are forced into
an alliance with arch-enemy
Magneto to battle a
common foe. Superhero
adventure sequel starring
Hugh Jackman, Patrick
Stewart and Ian McKellen
11.35-1.40am FILM X-Men: The Last
Stand (12, 2006) The
mutant heroes battle old
ally Jean Grey, returned
from the dead as the
destructive and seemingly
unstoppable Phoenix.
Superhero sequel with Hugh
Jackman, Ian McKellen and
Famke Janssen
7.00pm The Simpsons Homer
becomes a vigilante (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer tells
the story of his first love (R)
8.00 NCIS: Los Angeles While
Hetty is being tortured by
her captors in Vietnam, Eric
and Nell find a clue to her
whereabouts (R)
9.00 SEAL Team A research ship
is hijacked in the South
China Sea, and Alana finds a
burner phone among
Nate’s belongings (R)
10.00 A League of Their Own:
Best Bits Highlights from
the 10th series of the
comedy quiz (R)
11.00 Micky Flanagan Thinking
Aloud The comedian tackles
the topics that keep him
awake at night (R)
12.00-1.00am Karl Pilkington:
The Moaning of Life Karl
Pilkington goes back on the
road, heading to America to
consider the point of art (R)
7.00pm Without a Trace The
team investigates the
disappearance of a senior
citizen who was last seen
getting into a car with two
unknown men. Martin
Landau guest stars (R)
8.00 Without a Trace The
team investigates the
disappearance of a
seemingly upstanding
member of society and
Vivian undergoes
open-heart surgery (R)
9.00 Blue Bloods A journalist
disappears while working
on an exposé about an
innocent man, so Danny
and Baez hope that
re-examining the original
case will help them find her
10.00-12.40am Spielberg
Documentarian Susan Lacy
pulls back the curtain on the
career of one of the most
acclaimed filmmakers in the
world, Steven Spielberg (R)
Drama
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
5.35pm FILM Mr Bean’s Holiday
(PG, 2007) The bumbling fool wins
a trip to France in the church raffle.
Comedy starring Rowan Atkinson
7.25 FILM The Amazing SpiderMan 2 (12, 2014) The superhero
battles a foe with electrical powers,
while an old friend presents an
even greater threat. Adventure
sequel starring Andrew Garfield
10.10 Celebrity Juice
11.00 Family Guy
11.25 Family Guy
11.50-12.20am American Dad!
6.40pm FILM Live and Let Die
(PG, 1973) James Bond battles the
dictator of a Caribbean island. Spy
adventure starring Roger Moore
9.05 FILM Lethal Weapon 2 (18,
1989) The detectives set their
sights on a South African diplomat
laundering drugs money. Action
thriller sequel starring Mel Gibson
11.25-2.35am FILM The
Assassination of Jesse James by
the Coward Robert Ford (15, 2007)
A young recruit betrays the outlaw.
Western starring Brad Pitt
7.00pm The Big Bang Theory
7.30 The Big Bang Theory
8.00 FILM GI Joe: Retaliation (12,
2013) An elite military team battles
a terrorist organisation that has
replaced the US president with an
imposter. Action adventure sequel
starring Dwayne Johnson
10.10-12.15am FILM Contraband
(15, 2012) A reformed international
smuggler must return to his old
line of work to save his family from
a ruthless drug lord. Crime thriller
starring Mark Wahlberg
6.10pm FILM Ace Ventura: When
Nature Calls (PG, 1995) Comedy
sequel starring Jim Carrey
8.05 FILM The Time Machine
(PG, 2002) A scientist resolves to
prove time travel is possible. Sci-fi
adventure starring Guy Pearce
10.00 FILM Scary Movie 3 (15,
2003) A reporter investigates a
chilling mystery. Spoof horror
movie starring Anna Faris
11.35-1.40am FILM Homefront (15,
2013) Crime thriller starring Jason
Statham and James Franco
6.00pm FILM Ghost Ship (U, 1952)
A yacht is haunted by murderous
ghosts. Horror starring Hazel Court
7.35 FILM Helpmates (U, 1932)
Comedy starring Laurel and Hardy
8.00 FILM The Informers
(12, 1963) A police inspector
investigates the murder of an
informer. Thriller with Nigel Patrick
10.10-12.10am FILM The Purple
Plain (PG, 1954) A Canadian pilot
crash-lands in the Burmese jungle.
Second World War drama starring
Gregory Peck and Bernard Lee
7.00pm Sue Thomas: FBEye Sue
investigates a mentally ill man
suspected of shooting his girlfriend
8.00 Rizzoli & Isles A woman’s
death at the docks forces Maura to
question whether her biological
father has links to the mob
9.00 Rebus The detective’s
daughter Sammy is involved in a
near-fatal hit-and-run incident
11.00-1.10am Silent Witness Harry
is called to a crime scene of a
family he knows, and finds the
bodies of the mother and daughter
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Big Hits: TOTP 1964 to
1975 With the Rolling Stones, Peter
Sarstedt, Tom Jones, Stevie
Wonder, Julie Driscoll and Queen
9.00 Boogie Fever: A TOTP2 Disco
Special Disco classics, featuring
George McCrae, Chic, Gloria
Gaynor and Sophie Ellis-Bextor
11.00 Rallying: The Killer Years
The motorsport’s Group B era
12.00-1.00am Mike Hawthorn: On
the Limit A profile of Britain’s first
Formula 1 champion, examining his
rivalry with Stirling Moss
7.00pm Car Crime UK: Caught on
Camera How CCTV is helping
tackle the problem of vehicle theft
8.00 Police Interceptors Spike
uncovers a stash of cannabis
stored with shotguns
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
High Court Enforcement Agents
are involved in a brothel eviction
10.00 Streets of Rage: Caught on
Camera Nick Wallis focuses on
violence fuelled by drink or drugs
11.00-1.55am Bellator 196 Benson
Henderson v Roger Huerta
7.00pm Fawlty Towers Basil tries
to stop an unmarried couple
lowering moral standards
7.45 Fawlty Towers Hotel
inspectors throw Basil into a panic
8.25 Would I Lie to You? At
Christmas With Miranda Hart
9.00 Would I Lie to You?
9.40 Would I Lie to You?
10.20 Would I Lie to You? The
Unseen Bits Extra material
11.00 Have I Got a Bit More News
for You Daniel Radcliffe hosts
12.00-12.40am Mock the Week
6.35pm Wellington: The Iron Duke
Unmasked Documentary portrait
of the Duke of Wellington
7.55 The Mysteries of the Medieval
Ship The discovery of a medieval
merchant ship in Newport
9.00 Britain’s Lost Colosseum
Exploring the history of Chester’s
Roman amphitheatre
10.15 The Mystery of the Body in
the Bog The discovery of a
4,000-year-old body in Ireland
11.30-12.50am Wellington: The
Iron Duke Unmasked
5.35pm Tom Petty & the
Heartbreakers: Live from
Gatorville A 2006 concert in
Gainesville, Florida
8.00 Classic Albums The making
of Metallica’s 1991 self-titled LP
9.00 Pearl Jam: Let’s Play Two
Documentary chronicling the
American band’s performances at
Chicago’s Wrigley Field in 2016
11.15-1.05am A Shot of Whisky The
story of Los Angeles rock venue
Whisky a Go Go, featuring classic
archive performances
7.00pm Nothing to Declare
Customs officers arrest a man
carrying heroin internally
7.30 Nothing to Declare
8.00 Nothing to Declare
8.30 Nothing to Declare
9.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers
Tracie Andrews, who stabbed her
fiancé to death in 1996
10.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers
11.00 World’s Most Evil Killers
12.00-1.00am Brit Cops: Frontline
Crime UK Police officers in Wales
deal with a domestic incident
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm Bull
8.00 Bull
9.00 Deep State An ex-spy is
brought out of retirement
10.00 American Dad!
10.30 Family Guy
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Doomsday: World War I
8.00 James May’s Toy Stories
9.00 Royal Marines Commando
School Six weeks into training, the
recruits face a series of challenges
and their first pass-or-fail test
10.00 Murder on CCTV
11.00 Street Justice: The Bronx
12.00-1.00am Wheeler Dealers
7.00pm China From Above
8.00 Time Scanners
9.00 One Strange Rock
10.00 Seconds from Disaster
11.00 Seconds from Disaster The
raid against David Koresh in 1993
12.00-1.00am Seconds from
Disaster A 1984 industrial accident
at a pesticide plant in Bhopal, India
8.00pm Your Face or Mine
8.30 Impractical Jokers: Inside
Jokes Behind the scenes
9.00 Live at the Apollo
10.00 Lip Sync Battle
10.30 Russell Howard & Mum: USA
Road Trip A visit to Las Vegas.
11.00-12.00 Joel & Nish vs the
World From Mongolia
6.40pm Only Fools and Horses
8.00 Gavin & Stacey
8.35 Gavin & Stacey
9.15 Gavin & Stacey
9.55 Michael McIntyre’s Comedy
Roadshow With Noel Fielding,
Seann Walsh and Mike Gunn
10.55 Bottom
11.35-12.15am Bottom
7.00pm My Family
7.40 My Family Nick decides to
move out and get a flat of his own
8.20 My Family The Harpers await
their first grandchild
9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News
9.40 Russell Howard’s Good News
10.20 Inside the Ambulance
11.15-12.15am 999 Rescue Squad
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.20pm The Emoji Movie (U, 2017)
A multi-expressional emoji tries to
find a hacker. Animated adventure
featuring the voice of TJ Miller
8.00 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Thieves attempt a major
heist against the US Treasury as a
Category 5 hurricane approaches.
Action thriller with Toby Kebbell
9.50-12.10am Spider-Man:
Homecoming (12, 2017) Peter
Parker must protect New York City
from a menacing villain. Superhero
adventure starring Tom Holland
5.45pm Iron Man 3 (12, 2013) The
armoured avenger hunts for the
mastermind behind a series of
bombings. Superhero adventure
sequel with Robert Downey Jr
8.00 Dreamgirls (12, 2006)
Musical drama about a famous
singing trio, whose personal
rivalries threaten to tear apart the
group. Starring Beyoncé Knowles
10.15-12.05am Unbreakable (12,
2000) A security guard emerges
unscathed from a train crash.
Drama starring Bruce Willis
6.20pm Toy Story 2 (U, 1999)
Animated sequel with the voice of
Tom Hanks and Tim Allen
8.00 Toy Story 3 (U, 2010) Woody,
Buzz and the toys end up in a
daycare centre. Animation with the
voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen
9.55 Monster House (PG, 2006)
Friends find a house that eats
children. Animated comedy horror
with the voice of Mitchel Musso
11.35-1.05am The Emperor’s New
Groove (U, 2001) Animated
comedy voiced by David Spade
6.40pm Miss Peregrine’s Home
For Peculiar Children (12, 2016)
A misfit teen discovers an island
orphanage that is home to children
with very special gifts. Fantasyhorror starring Asa Butterfield
9.00 King Arthur: Legend of the
Sword (12, 2017) A skilled fighter
attempts to become king of the
Britons. Fantasy drama with Charlie
Hunnam and Djimon Hounsou
11.15-1.35am Rogue One: A Star
Wars Story (12, 2016) Sci-fi prequel
starring Felicity Jones
5.10pm Once Upon a Time in the
West (15, 1968) Western starring
Henry Fonda and Jason Robards
8.00 Planet of the Apes (PG, 1968)
An astronaut is stranded on a
planet ruled by intelligent apes.
Sci-fi drama with Charlton Heston
10.00 The Warriors (18, 1979) The
members of a New York street
gang battle for survival. Action
adventure starring Michael Beck
11.40-1.45am Saturday Night Fever
(15, 1977) Gritty New York drama
with John Travolta as a disco dancer
Jane Seymour and Roger Moore
face voodoo danger in Live and
Let Die (ITV4, 6.40pm)
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 27
1G R
Saturday 7
Sports guide
Live Football
Sky Main Event, 11.30am
Radio guide
Radio 1
A double dose of derby drama
today as Everton welcome
Liverpool to Goodison Park
(kick-off 12.30pm). In the
reverse fixture at Anfield in
December, a late penalty from
Wayne Rooney, pictured, gave
the Toffees a 1-1 draw. In the
teatime match, Manchester
City will clinch the Premier
League title if they defeat
bitter rivals Manchester
United at the Etihad (kick-off
5.30pm). Joe Clay
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.00am Alice Levine 10.00
Maya Jama 1.00pm Matt
Edmondson 4.00 MistaJam
7.00 DJ Target 9.00 Charlie
Sloth 11.00 Diplo and Friends
1.00am Kan D Man & DJ
Limelight 4.00 David Rodigan
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
6.00am-7.40 LIVE Sevens
World Series: Hong Kong
11.30-2.55pm LIVE Premier
League: Everton v Liverpool
5.00 LIVE Premier League:
Manchester City v
Manchester United
8.30-12.30am LIVE The
Masters The third day
2.30-6.00 LIVE Sevens World
Series: Hong Kong
6.10am-8.00 LIVE
Super Rugby
8.30-10.35 LIVE Super Rugby
10.40-12.30pm LIVE Super
Rugby: Brumbies v Reds
3.10 LIVE Betfred Super
League: Salford Red Devils v
Warrington Wolves
5.10-7.15 LIVE Betfred Super
League: Catalan Dragons v
Wigan Warriors (Kick-off 5.15)
5.00am Huey on Saturday
6.00 Sounds of the 60s
8.00 Saturday Breakfast with
Dermot. With guest Kylie
Minogue 10.00 Graham
Norton. With guests Alex
Jones, Kathleen Turner and
Jodie Kidd 1.00pm Pick of the
Pops 3.00 The Zoe Ball Show
6.00 Liza Tarbuck 8.00 Trevor
Nelson’s Rhythm Nation
10.00 The Craig Charles House
Party 12.00 Ana Matronic’s
Disco Devotion 2.00am
Radio 2’s Showtunes Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Sky Sports Premier
League
Sky Sports F1
Radio 3
SKY 406 VIRGIN 516
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
12.45pm-2.15 LIVE Formula 1:
The Bahrain Grand Prix
Third practice session
3.00-5.45 LIVE Formula 1:
The Bahrain Grand Prix
Qualifying (Start-time 4.00)
7.00am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Record Review
12.15pm Music Matters
1.00 News
1.02 Inside Music New series,
in which a musician reveals a
selection of music from the
inside, beginning with the
world-renowned percussionist
Colin Currie
3.00 Sound of Dance
Katie Derham talks to the
choreographer Wayne
McGregor about
Bernstein’s music
4.00 Jazz Record Requests
5.00 J to Z New series.
The best in jazz — past, present
and future. See Choice
6.30 Opera on 3 from the Met
Roberto Abbado conducts
Lucia di Lammermoor by
Donizetti at the Met, in a
production by Tony Awardwinning director Mary
Zimmerman
10.00 Hear and Now
Highlights from the
CrossCurrents Festival at
Birmingham University
12.00 Geoffrey Smith’s Jazz (r)
1.00am Through the Night
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
11.30am-3.15pm LIVE
Premier League: Everton v
Liverpool (Kick-off 12.30)
5.00-8.30 LIVE Premier
League: Manchester City v
Manchester United
Sky Sports Football
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
Noon-2.45pm LIVE EFL:
Norwich City v Aston Villa
5.25-7.30 LIVE La Liga
Football: Real Betis v Eibar
7.40-9.45 LIVE La Liga:
Barcelona v Leganes
10.05 LIVE MLS: Atlanta
United FC v Los Angeles FC
12.05am-2.10 LIVE MLS:
Philadelphia Union v
San Jose Earthquakes
10.00am-11.00 LIVE World
Rally Championship
12.00-2.30pm LIVE National
League: Ebbsfleet United v
Macclesfield Town
5.15 LIVE Bundesliga
7.30-9.45 LIVE Serie A:
Sampdoria v Genoa
1.00am LIVE NBA: Houston
Rockets v Oklahoma City
Thunder (Tip-off 1.30)
4.00-7.00 LIVE AFL
Sky Sports Cricket
BT Sport 2
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League
12.45pm-8.15 LIVE MotoGP
9.00-12.00 LIVE MLB
1.00am-7.00 LIVE UFC
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
7.00pm-12.30am LIVE The
Masters The third day
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
6.00-7.40am LIVE Sevens
World Series: Hong Kong
8.10-12.50pm LIVE Sevens
World Series: Hong Kong
1.40-3.30pm LIVE
Top 14 Rugby Union
4.00-6.30 LIVE PRO14 Rugby
Union: Scarlets v Glasgow
Warriors (Kick-off 4.15)
10.35-12.30am LIVE Super
Rugby: Jaguares v Crusaders
2.20-6.00am LIVE Sevens
World Series: Hong Kong
8.30am-1.00pm
LIVE A-League
1.30-4.15 LIVE Premiership
Rugby Union: Bath v
Leicester Tigers
5.15-7.00 LIVE Serie A
8.00-12.00 LIVE WTA Tennis
2.00am-5.00 LIVE IndyCar
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
12.25pm-3.30 LIVE Snooker:
China Open The semi-final
9.30-12.30am LIVE Curling
World Championships
5.55-9.00 LIVE Snooker:
China Open The final
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 iPM Interactive debate
6.00 News and Papers
6.07 Open Country (r)
6.30 Farming Today This
Week Farming news
7.00 Today
9.00 Saturday Live
10.30 The Kitchen Cabinet
New series. From Golders
Green, London with Jay Rayner
and Claudia Roden. See Choice
Today’s picks
The Kitchen Cabinet
Radio 4, 10.30am
J to Z
Radio 3, 5pm
This week Jay Rayner’s guests,
who include the chef Tim
Anderson and food writer
Claudia Roden, pictured, will be
discussing the Passover seder
plate and the history of fish and
chips. All very interesting, no
doubt, but it’s hard not to wish
that they’d skip the food chat
and just talk to Roden about her life. This has been described
as being like a Graham Greene novel and it certainly belongs
to another era of upper-class internationalism. Roden came
from a family of Syrian-Jewish merchants who moved to
Cairo at the tail end of the 19th century — then were expelled
during the Suez crisis. As a member of the haute-bourgeoisie,
Roden was sent to school in Paris, then turned up in London
where she became a Marxist, then a cookery writer and,
along the way, supported her three children by giving cookery
classes in her kitchen. Catherine Nixey
According to the old joke,
if you write in to Radio 3,
but don’t write on vellum
or parchment, they won’t
read out your letter. This is
an erudite station, which
makes its weakness for
punning programme titles
so surprising. Like a jovial
uncle, its titles nudge you
in the ribs, making gags
where there is no gag to
be had. Hear and Now is
one of the worst: that is
joined by its revamped
Saturday afternoon jazz
programme: J to Z. Still,
the music will sound
nice. CN
11.00 The Forum
11.30 From Our Own
Correspondent
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Money Box
12.30 The Now Show (6/6) (r)
1.00 News Headlines
1.10 Any Questions? (r)
2.00 Any Answers? Phone-in
2.30 Drama: Inspector Chen
— A Loyal Character Dancer
By Qiu Xiaolong (r)
3.30 Opening Night Janice
Forsyth goes behind the
scenes on various theatre and
performance art shows,
detailing the challenges of
staging live productions to
audiences nationwide
4.00 Weekend Woman’s Hour
5.00 Saturday PM
5.30 iPM (r)
5.54 Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Loose Ends
7.00 Profile
7.15 Saturday Review Tom
Sutcliffe and guests examine
the week’s cultural highlights
8.00 Archive on 4: The
Ultimate Trip — Stanley
Kubrick’s Space Odyssey
Christopher Frayling explores
Stanley Kubrick’s 2001:
A Space Odyssey
9.00 Drama: An Enemy of
the People Adaptation of
Ibsen’s play about a doctor
who believes a local spring has
been contaminated (1/2) (r)
10.00 News Headlines
10.15 Unreliable Evidence (r)
11.00 Brain of Britain (r)
11.30 In Love with Mud: A
Poetic Exploration of Mud (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Short Works (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
11.06 The Newsroom 11.30
Trending 11.50 Over to You
12.00 The Real Story 1.00pm
Newshour 2.00 News 2.06
Music Extra 3.00 News 3.06
Sportsworld 4.00 News 4.06
Sportsworld 5.00 News 5.06
Sportsworld 6.00 The
Newsroom 6.30 The Cultural
Frontline 7.00 News 7.06 The
World This Week 7.30 The
Documentary 8.00 News
8.06 The Forum 8.50 The Big
Idea 9.00 Newshour 10.00
News 10.06 From Our Own
Correspondent 10.30 Boston
Calling 11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.20 Sports News
11.30 Global Business 12.00
News 12.06am Outlook 12.30
CrowdScience 1.00 The
World This Week 1.30
Trending 1.50 Over to You
2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 Discovery
3.00 News 3.06 From Our
Own Correspondent 3.30
Living with the Gods 3.50
The Big Idea 4.00 News
4.06 World Book Club
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
3.00pm Live Premier League
Football 2017-18. Commentary
on a 3pm kick-off 5.00 Live
Sports Report 5.30 Live
Premier League Football
2017-18: Manchester City v
Manchester United (Kick-off
5.30) 7.30 Live 6-0-6 9.00
5 Live Golf: The Masters.
The penultimate day from
Augusta National Golf Club
1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am Seven Days of
Talksport 7.00 Georgie
Bingham and Tony Cascarino
11.00 Warm Up 12.00 Live
Match Day Live 7.30pm The
Full Time Phone-in 10.00
Fight Night 12.00 Extra Time
with Tom Latchem
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Archive on 4: Writers
and Radio 9.00 Kismet 11.35
The Story Behind Kismet
12.00 The Write Stuff
12.30pm Millport 1.00 A Book
of Middle Eastern Food
Omnibus 2.10 Inheritance
Tracks 2.15 Sentimental
Journey 2.45 I Should Say So
3.00 Archive on 4: Writers
and Radio 4.00 Boudicca’s
Victory 5.30 Freedom Pass
6.00 Nightmare World
7.00 Douglas Adams: A
Celebration — So Long And
Thanks for All the Fish 10.00
Comedy Club: My Teenage
Diary 10.30 A Stuggy Pren
10.45 Terry Alderton’s All
Crazy Now 11.00 That Mitchell
and Webb Sound 11.30 Think
the Unthinkable 12.00
Nightmare World
BBC World Service
Digital only
5.00am Boxing with Costello &
Bunce 5.30 Under the Weather
6.00 Breakfast 9.00 Danny
Baker 11.00 Fighting Talk
12.00 5 Live Sport
9.00am News 9.06 The
World This Week 9.30 The
Cultural Frontline 10.00
Sports Hour 11.00 News
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Mary Anne Hobbs
10.00 The Huey Show
1.00pm Liz Kershaw 3.00
Gilles Peterson 6.00 Norman
Jay 9.00 The Tom Robinson
Show 12.00 The Freak Zone
Playlist 1.00am The Joy of 6
2.00 6 Music Recommends:
The New Music Playlist 3.00
6 Music Live Hour 4.00
Sound and Vision
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
7.00am Alan Titchmarsh
10.00 Bill Turnbull 1.00pm
Henry Blofeld 3.00 Nicholas
Owen 5.00 Saturday Night at
the Movies 7.00 Cowan’s
Classics 9.00 David Mellor’s
Light Music Matters
10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Katie Breathwick
4.00 Jane Jones
28 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Sunday 8 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice
Ordeal by Innocence
BBC One, 9pm
You can see why the BBC
was so keen to make sure
that this adaptation of
Agatha Christie’s 1958 crime
novel made it to screen,
despite having to go back
and reshoot many of
the scenes. It was one of
Christie’s favourites because,
she once said, clearing the
innocent of suspicion is more
important than finding the
guilty. The innocent here is
poor dead Jack Argyll, who
snuffed it in prison before he
could be cleared of the
murder of his adoptive
mother, Rachel (Anna
Chancellor). However, Jack
has an unlikely saviour in his
alibi, Arthur Calgary (Luke
Treadaway), who thinks he
has a duty to clear Jack’s
name, despite the Argyll
family being uninterested to
the point of hostility in Jack’s
posthumous redemption.
Calgary is determined to
solve the murder, but the real
reason for him taking 18
months to come forward
makes him an unreliable
witness. Rachel was a strange
contradiction, adopting
five children despite being
cold, distant and unloving.
Hence, all four of her
surviving children are in the
frame (especially Eleanor
Tomlinson’s Mary, pictured),
as is Gwenda (Alice Eve), the
glamorous new squeeze of
Rachel’s widower, Leo (Bill
Nighy), and the housekeeper
(Morven Christie). Stirring the
pot is Mary’s noxious
husband, Phillip (Matthew
Goode). Christie fans might
recall a 1985 film with Donald
Sutherland as Calgary, and
a 2007 Miss Marple in
which Geraldine McEwen’s
sleuth was shoehorned
into the story. This is the
definitive version.
Joe Clay
Further recommendations
The three-part And Then There Were None from 2015 and the twopart Witness for the Prosecution from 2016 are on BBC iPlayer
The Durrells
ITV, 8pm
Last week’s exploits featuring
Larry and Mrs Durrell (Keeley
Hawes) living the bohemian life
with Henry Miller in London
would have made a great series
in its own right. However, it
really sings when Mrs D is
surrounded by her feckless
brood, so it’s great to have
them all back together on
Corfu — well, almost. Larry is in
Athens, where he has met an
Indian prince who is coming to
visit the family. “We’re not
making any concessions just
because he’s a silly prince,”
Louisa says. “But no harm in a
quick spring clean.” Even Roger
the dog is given the once-over
for fleas. JC
Catch
up
Picasso’s Last Stand
BBC iPlayer, to April 23
As an exhibition at Tate
Modern showcases one of the
most creatively fertile years in
the life of the Spanish artist
Pablo Picasso, pictured, this
documentary from Randall
Wright (Hockney) explores the
final decade of his life (he died
in France, of congestive heart
failure, on April 8, 1973). It tells
its story through interviews
with his family and close
friends, including his
biographer John Richardson
and granddaughter Diana
Jesus’s Female
Disciples
The Heart Guy
Folk Awards 2018
Drama, 8pm
BBC Four, 9pm
Channel 4, 8pm
If The Good Karma Hospital
(ITV, 9pm) doesn’t have
enough graphic surgery for
your liking, The Heart Guy
could be for you. Originally
called Doctor Doctor in its
native Australia, it stars Rodger
Corser as Hugh Knight, an
arrogant yet gifted Sydney
heart surgeon who performs
miracles in the operating
theatre while Blondie blares
in the background. But an
incident involving drugs and
booze brings our hero crashing
back down to earth and he is
forced to return to his rural
hometown and work as a GP
at an underfunded hospital.
It’s a familiar tale well told. JC
For the second year running
the Radio 2 Folk Awards are
being televised, with Mark
Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis (who
is nominated for folk singer of
the year) the hosts at the
Belfast Waterfront. The
highlight will be Nick Drake’s
induction into the Folk Awards
hall of fame, marked by a
special performance of one of
his songs. Other performers
include Cara Dillon, Paul Brady,
Eliza Carthy and the Wayward
Band, Lankum, the Armagh
Pipers Club and Donal Lunny,
the musician and producer
who will receive the lifetime
achievement award for his
services to Irish folk music. JC
Although the story of the birth
of Christianity is dominated by
men, Jesus’s interactions with
women are important. He
requested that women tell his
disciples he had risen. The
gospels of the New Testament
mention Jesus interacting with
female disciples, such as Mary
Magdalene, Joanna and
Susanna. However, their
pivotal role has disappeared
from history. The Bible experts
Helen Bond and Joan Taylor
lay out an alternative version
of events, with women
central to the origins of
Christianity. JC
Widmaier Picasso, who talk
about his work and private life
in the 1960s. It was a period of
extraordinary productivity for
Picasso and the film reveals
how, as his health declined, he
created works of art with an
astonishing rapidity. Alexi
Duggins
Variations
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
5.45pm-6.30 Scrum V Sunday. Ross
Harries presents highlights of the
weekend’s PRO14 fixtures, including
Scarlets v Glasgow Warriors and
Toyota Cheetahs v Cardiff Blues
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
5.00pm Bus Wars. Documentary charting
the work and the rivalry between tourist
bus companies in Belfast as they fight to
attract customers, beginning as a huge
cruise ship docks (r) 5.30-6.30 The BBC
Radio 2 Folk Awards: Belfast 2018. Mark
Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis present the
awards show from Waterfront Hall
● BBC1 Scotland As BBC One except:
10.30pm Sportscene. Highlights of Hearts
v Aberdeen and Rangers v Dundee 11.30
Match of the Day 2 12.30am-6.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. JJ Chalmers
introduces live coverage as day five gets
under way, with athletics dominating
the early schedule. Plus, England v
Wales in the netball competition
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
2.00pm-3.00 River City. Annie finds
herself in the firing line against Lenny
when she tries to protect Frankie, and
Scarlett reaches out to Bob (r)
● Channel As ITV except:
1.30am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 4.45pm-5.00
STV News 12.15am Teleshopping 1.15
After Midnight 2.45 ITV Nightscreen
5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 1.30am
Teleshopping 2.30-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw (r) 8.50 Penblwyddi
Cyw 8.55 Pen-Blwydd Pwy? 9.00 Dal Ati:
Dal Ati: Bore Da 10.00 Dal Ati 11.00
Rownd a Rownd (r) 11.30 Rownd a Rownd
(r) 11.55 Calon: Dyn y Tatw (r) 12.00
Dechrau Canu Dechrau Canmol (r)
1.00pm Perthyn (r) 1.30 Lle Aeth Pawb?
Merched Pop 65-75 (r) 2.30 Cegin Bryn (r)
2.55 Cegin Bryn (r) 3.20 Ffermio (r) 3.45
Clwb Rygbi 5.30 News a Chwaraeon
5.40 Pobol y Cwm (r) 7.30 Dechrau Canu
Dechrau Canmol. Ryland Teifi visits the
Ffald y Brenin retreat centre 8.00 Band
Cymru 2018. The Tylorstown Band, Brass
Beaumaris and BTM Band perform at
Aberystwyth Arts Centre 9.00 Parch
10.00 Y Byd ar Bedwar. Current affairs
programme (r) 10.30 Zimbabwe,
Taid a Fi (r) 11.15-11.50 Ward Plant (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
Marley & Me (PG, 2008)
Channel 5, 5.45pm
Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston star as the young couple whose
life together is completed by Marley, a yellow labrador. No rug is
left unpeed on and no emotional button is left unpushed, but aside
from the canine stuff there’s a more thoughtful streak as Wilson
and Aniston deal with marriage, children and careers over a
14-year period. Yet even the most hardened cynophobe may find
themselves shedding a tear by the end of the film, when Marley’s
youthful exuberance gives way to the vicissitudes of old age.
Marley was played by 22 dogs, while Wilson’s real mum and dad
play his parents in the film. (115min) Wendy Ide
Emma (U, 1996)
BBC Two, 3pm
This sparky adaptation of Jane
Austen’s novel stars Gwyneth
Paltrow, pictured, as Emma
Woodhouse, the adorable but
meddlesome busybody who
delights in trying to engineer
mismatched romances. Emma,
naturally, is useless when it comes
to her romantic life and seems oblivious to her own Mr Right, the
charming, unassuming Mr Knightley (Jeremy Northam). It’s not the
most accomplished Austen adaptation — it lacks the earthiness
of Joe Wright’s Pride & Prejudice and the heartfelt performances
of Ang Lee’s Sense and Sensibility — but this Hollywood-friendly
romance has its own appeal. The composer Rachel Portman
became the first woman to win the academy award for best
original score. (121min) WI
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (15, 2011)
Channel 4, 11pm
Gary Oldman, in a performance of restrained inscrutability,
perfectly captures the character of George Smiley, John le Carré’s
seasoned spy, who is called out of retirement to uncover a Soviet
agent within the upper echelons of “The Circus”. The director
Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One In) reunites with the
cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema, and the results are
impressive. Like Let the Right One In, Tinker Tailor is set during the
grubby nub end of the 1970s. What Alfredson and Van Hoytema
bring to this material is a sense of the paranoia of surveillance
culture. Colin Firth co-stars. (127min) WI
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 29
1G R
Sunday 8
Also available online and on tablet
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thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 7.30 Match of the
Day (r) 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show
10.00 The Big Questions 11.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. Clare
Balding presents further coverage
from day four of the Games in
Queensland, featuring swimming
at the Optus Aquatic Centre and
track cycling at the Anna Meares
Velodrome 1.30pm BBC News;
Weather 1.45 Live Commonwealth
Games 2018. Jason Mohammad
introduces coverage from
Queensland, as day four comes to a
close with various swimming finals at
the Optus Aquatic Centre 4.30 Songs
of Praise 5.05 Celebrity Mastermind
(r) 5.35 BBC News 5.50 BBC Regional
News; Weather 6.00 The Big Painting
Challenge. The nine painters try to
depict nature in all its glory
6.00am Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Hazel Irvine presents coverage
as day four of the Games continues in
Queensland, with artistic gymnastics,
athletics and hockey all taking place
9.00 Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Clare Balding presents further
coverage from day four of the Games
in Queensland, featuring swimming at
the Aquatic Centre and track cycling
at the Anna Meares Velodrome.
Continues on BBC One 11.00 Saturday
Kitchen Best Bites 12.30pm
MasterChef (r) 1.30 MasterChef (r)
2.00 The Secret Helpers (r)
3.00 FILM Emma (U, 1996) Jane
Austen drama starring Gwyneth
Paltrow and Ewan McGregor. See Film
Choice 5.00 Today at the Games.
Clare Balding and Gabby Logan
present day four’s action
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25
ITV News 9.30 Love Your Garden (r)
10.00 The Voice UK: Live Final (r)
11.40 Change Your Tune (r) 12.40pm
ITV News; Weather 1.00 Ant & Dec’s
Saturday Night Takeaway (r) 2.30
Britain’s Brightest Family. Two families
go head to head for a place in the
semi-finals of the tournament (r) 3.00
Tenable. Quiz hosted by Warwick
Davis in which five members of a
LGBT hockey side answer questions
about top 10 lists, then try to score a
perfect 10 in the final round (r) 4.00
You’ve Been Framed! Harry Hill
narrates clips featuring accidents
involving basketball, babies, buckets
of water and bottles of prosecco (r)
4.30 ITV News; Weather 4.45 Regional
News; Weather 5.00 Tipping Point (r)
6.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special (r)
6.10am Race of Champions 2018 7.05
Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 7.30
Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.00
Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.25
Frasier (r) 9.00 Frasier (r) 9.30 Sunday
Brunch 12.45pm The Simpsons (r) 1.15
The Simpsons. Aliens probe Homer’s
memory (r) 1.45 The Great Celebrity
Bake Off for Stand Up to Cancer. Alan
Carr, Aisling Bea, Kadeena Cox and
Teri Hatcher compete. Last in the
series (r) 3.00 Live Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix Build Up. A look ahead to
the action 3.45 Live Formula 1 Bahrain
Grand Prix. Coverage of the second
round of the season (Start-time 4.10)
6.20 Live Formula 1 Bahrain Grand
Prix Live Reaction. Steve Jones and a
panel of experts discuss the second
round of the season from Bahrain
6.45 Channel 4 News
6.00am Milkshake! 9.40 Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles 10.15 Football on
5: The Championship (r) 11.10 Football
on 5: Goal Rush (r) 11.45 Traffic Cops.
A suspected stolen car fitted with
cloned number plates crashes after
running a red light, leaving the
occupants of another car with serious
injuries (r) 12.45pm FILM Oliver! (U,
1968) Musical version of the Dickens
tale about an orphan who falls into
the hands of petty crook Fagin and
his gang of young pickpockets.
Starring Ron Moody, Mark Lester and
Oliver Reed 3.35 FILM The Deep
End of the Ocean (12, 1999) A couple
whose son was kidnapped 10 years
ago move to another town, only to
find their lost child already living
there. Drama starring Michelle
Pfeiffer and Treat Williams
The Big Painting Challenge (6pm)
Dennis Quaid stars (midnight)
Daisy Waterstone as Margo (8pm)
Ferrari’s Sebastian Vettel (3.45pm)
Musical drama Oliver! (12.45pm)
7.00 Countryfile Sean Fletcher and
Naomi Wilkinson present from
Loch Ness, meeting a seventh
generation crofter and a
sporran maker and tapping
birch trees for sap. Including
Weather for the Week Ahead
6.30 Live Golf: The Masters Eilidh
Barbour introduces coverage of
the fourth and final day of the
US Masters from the Augusta
National in Georgia, as the
opening Major of the year
concludes. Last year, Spain’s
Sergio Garcia and England’s
Justtin Rose became lock
ked
d in
a memorable tussle for the title.
Garcia put the pressure on early
on with two birdies in his first
three holes, but Rose
responded with three in a row
of his own from the sixth. The
lead changed hands several
more times, before Garcia
missed a putt taht would have
secured his maiden Major on
the 18th. However, the Green
Jacket did not elude the
Spaniard for much longer, as he
birdied the first hole of a
sudden-death play-off to secure
victory. Peter Alliss, Ken Brown,
Andrew Cotter and Paul Azinger
provide the commentary.
Subsequent programmes are
subject to change should the
event be tied after 18 holes
7.00 Change Your Tune More bad
singers undergo training,
including a woman who wants
to sing at her father’s birthday
and a swimming coach who
wants to duet with her
boyfriend (2/6)
7.00 Escape to the Château Dick
Strawbridge and his partner
Angel Adoree buy and restore a
French château. Their new
home has stood empty for 40
years, and has no electricity,
heating or water (1/3) (r)
5.45 FILM Marley & Me (PG, 2008)
Comedy drama based on
journalist John Grogan’s
account of life with a
mischievous golden Labrador
he bought for his wife. Starring
Owen Wilson and Jennifer
Aniston. See Film Choice
8.00 The Durrells Larry goes on a
short trip to Athens, and returns
with a royal guest. Louisa is
delighted to have a prince
under her roof, but soon finds
herself with a less welcome
visitor. See Viewing Guide (4/8)
8.00 Jesus’s Female Disciples: The
New Evidence Theologians
Helen Bond and Joan Taylor
embark on a journey around
the world in search of evidence
of the role played by women in
the beginnings of Christianity.
See Viewing Guide
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
In Coventry, the sheriffs chase
£10,000 owed by a publican,
while agents in London try to
recover almost £8,000 owed to
a firm of accountants (r)
9.00 The Good Karma Hospital
Ruby is still reeling from
her discoveries at the tea
plantation, and must decide if
she can forgive past mistakes.
Meanwhile, Mari goes head
to head with Lydia (4/6)
9.00 Homeland Carrie and Saul
interrogate a suspect, while
Wellington makes a play (8/12)
10.00 ITV News
10.05 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
Countdown Jimmy Carr hosts
the words-and-numbers quiz, as
Jon Richardson and Chris
Addison take on Joe Wilkinson
and Katherine Ryan, while
David O’Doherty helps out in
Dictionary Corner (r)
9.00 When Live News Goes Horribly
Wrong Moira Stuart narrates
a selection of memorable
mishaps from live news
broadcasts, including the
President of Estonia walking
out of an interview with
Dermot Murnaghan, an expert
on Korea being upstaged by his
own children, and Krishnan
Guru-Murthy’s infamously
awkward interview with the
comedian Richard Ayoade
8.00 The Generation Game Family
pairs from different generations
battle it out in games including
cake decorating, balloon
modelling, and dancing the
Argentine Tango with Vincent
Simone and Flavia Cacace (2/2)
9.00 Ordeal by Innocence Arthur
presents irrefutable proof that
Jack is innocent, which stirs up
tension among the Argyll family
members, who realise that one
of them may be the murderer.
See Viewing Guide (2/3)
10.00 BBC News
10.20 BBC Regional News; Weather
10.30 Match of the Day 2 Mark
Chapman reviews the day’s
Premier League action, with
highlights of Arsenal v
Southampton at the Emirates
Stadium and Chelsea v West
Ham United at Stamford Bridge
11.30 Live Commonwealth Games
2018 JJ Chalmers introduces
live coverage as day five gets
under way in Queensland, with
athletics dominating the early
schedule with the heats of the
men’s 110m hurdles and
women’s 400m, while the
decathlon begins with the
100m, long jump and shot put
disciplines. Plus, England take
on Wales in a netball encounter
12.00 FILM The Rookie (U, 2002)
Fact-based drama about a former
baseball player who returns to the big
time. Starring Dennis Quaid 2.00am
Sign Zone: Countryfile (r) (SL) 2.55
Holby City (r) (SL) 3.55 Weather for
the Week Ahead 4.00 BBC News
10.20 The Olivier Awards 2018
Catherine Tate hosts the
theatrical awards, which
features performances from
nominated musicals including
Hamilton, 42nd Street, Follies,
Young Frankenstein, Girl from
the North Country, and
Everybody’s Talking about
Jamie. Actors in the running
for awards include Imelda
Staunton, Andrew Garfield,
Bryan Cranston, Lesley Joseph
and Lesley Manville
12.15am 100 Year Old Driving School.
A Bomber Command veteran takes
part in a driving assessment (r) 12.40
Marcella (r) 1.30 Jackpot247 3.00
British Superbike Championship
Highlights 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05
The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
11.00 FILM Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
(15, 2011) A former intelligence
operative is brought out of
retirement to uncover a Soviet
mole in a high-ranking position
in MI6. Cold War thriller starring
Gary Oldman. See Film Choice
1.25am FILM Shubh Mangal
Saavdhan (12, 2017) Comedy starring
Ayushmann Khurrana 3.25 KOTV
Boxing Weekly 3.45 Mobil 1: The Grid
(r) 4.10 Building the Dream (r) 5.10 Fill
Your House for Free (r) 5.30 Steph
and Dom’s One Star to Five Star (r)
8.55 5 News Weekend
11.50 Football On 5: The
Checkatrade Trophy Lincoln
City v Shrewsbury Town
12.45am Britain’s Greatest Bridges (r)
1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 FILM Resident
Evil: Afterlife (15, 2010) Action horror
sequel with Milla Jovovich, Ali Larter
and Wentworth Miller 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Great Scientists (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
30 saturday review
11G
GR
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Satu
RocknRolla
Sunday 8 | Primetime digital guide
Thandie Newton and
Gerard Butler star in Guy
Ritchie’s crime comedy
5Star, 9pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Only Connect Round three
losers the Detectives and
the Vikings return (R)
7.30 University Challenge The
quarter-final matches
conclude (R)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended highlights
of day four in Queensland
9.00 Folk Awards 2018 Mark
Radcliffe and Julie Fowlis
present from Belfast’s
Waterfront Hall. See
Viewing Guide
10.00 The Sky at Night The
latest results from NASA’s
Curiosity and ESA’s
ExoMars TGO missions
10.30 Horizon How the solar
system will come to an end
in approximately eight
billion years (R)
11.30-12.30am Conversations:
Michael Heseltine The
former Deputy Prime
Minister speaks about his
life and political career
6.00pm Lewis A professor is found
dead on Hallowe’en with a
stake through her heart and
it turns out she was an old
friend of Hobson. Rupert
Graves guest stars (R)
8.00 Larry Grayson: Shut That
Door! Documentary
exploring the entertainer’s
rise to fame, drawing on
extracts from an unfinished
autobiography that has only
recently been found (R)
10.00 An Audience with Victoria
Wood The comedian
performs monologues and
songs before a star-studded
audience including Julie
Walters and Judi Dench (R)
11.10-1.00am FILM Carry On Dick
(PG, 1974) Two officers of
the law vow to catch a
cheeky highwayman and
enlist the help of a vicar —
who is not what he seems to
be. Comedy with Sid James
and Kenneth Williams
6.55pm Come Dine with Me
The penultimate dinner
party in north Kent (R)
7.25 Come Dine with Me The
final dinner party (R)
7.55 The Supervet A
Jackahuahua puppy is in
need of emergency spinal
surgery after being attacked
by another dog, and a
Labrador requires elbow
replacement surgery (R)
9.00 Emergency Helicopter
Medics New series. Two
motorcyclists need
specialist care, and a
horse rider is kicked in
the face by her steed
10.00 999: What’s Your
Emergency? How the police
are dealing with an increase
in young people challenging
their authority (R)
11.05-12.05am 24 Hours in A&E
Two trauma patients arrive
by helicopter on the
hospital’s new helipad (R)
6.45pm FILM Ender’s Game (12,
2013) In the future, a gifted
boy is trained to lead Earth’s
military forces into battle
against the threat of an alien
attack. Sci-fi adventure
starring Asa Butterfield
9.00 FILM The Last Witch Hunter
(12, 2015) A medieval
warrior is cursed with
immortality by an evil witch.
In the modern day, he
continues to battle evil, and
faces his greatest challenge
when the sorceress is
resurrected. Fantasy
adventure starring Vin
Diesel and Elijah Wood
11.05-12.50am FILM Bad Teacher
(15, 2011) A cynical,
hard-drinking teacher hopes
to seduce a wealthy
substitute, making an
enemy of a squeaky-clean
colleague in the process.
Comedy with Cameron Diaz
and Justin Timberlake
6.30pm Revolution Inline skaters,
BMXers and skateboarders
go head-to-head
7.30 The Simpsons Marge forces
everyone to go to a
bookshop (R)
8.00 MacGyver Old enemies put
Jack’s life in jeopardy when
the team visits New Orleans
9.00 Hawaii Five-0 The corpse of
a diamond smuggler is
stolen from a graveyard
10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles Callen,
Sam, Kensi and Deeks join
up with Hetty’s team from
the Vietnam War
11.00 In the Long Run Bagpipes
helps Valentine get fit for a
trial with Leyton Orient (R)
11.30 A League of Their Own:
Unseen James Corden
introduces out-takes from
the eighth series (R)
12.00-1.00am The Blacklist Liz’s
reinstatement at the FBI
hinges on an evaluation
with a psychotherapist (R)
7.00pm Blue Bloods Erin
prosecutes a woman
accused of murdering her
wealthy husband — but
when the case takes an
unexpected turn, she finds
herself cross-examining
Danny in court (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods A gun is
brought into the station as
part of the ‘no questions
asked’ firearms amnesty (R)
9.00 Save Me In the final episode,
Nelly confronts a pub
regular about their role in
Jody’s disappearance (R)
10.00 Real Time with Bill Maher
The comic and his guests
have a lively discussion
about the week’s events
11.10 Silicon Valley Richard
Hendricks’ decentralised
internet PiperNet
approaches its debut (R)
11.45-12.55am Billions Chuck tries
to cash in a favour owed to
him by a judge (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
5.45pm FILM Charlie and the
Chocolate Factory (PG, 2005) A
boy wins a once-in-a-lifetime tour
of a magical sweet company.
Fantasy starring Johnny Depp
8.00 FILM Spectre (12, 2015)
James Bond goes in search of the
elusive mastermind behind a
secret criminal network with links
to his own past. Thriller starring
Daniel Craig and Christoph Waltz
10.55 Family Guy
11.25 Family Guy
11.50-12.20am Family Guy
6.55pm The Big Fish Off
7.55 Mr Bean
8.30 Mr Bean
9.00 An Audience with Billy
Connolly The comedian entertains
a crowd including Twiggy, Ringo
Starr, Michael Brandon, Samantha
Fox and Clive James in London
10.05-12.15am FILM Conan the
Destroyer (15, 1984) The
sword-wielding warrior embarks
on a quest to find a mystical
artefact. Fantasy adventure sequel
starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
6.50pm FILM Night at the
Museum (PG, 2006) The exhibits
at a New York museum come to life
and run riot after dark, causing
mayhem for the nightwatchman.
Fantasy comedy with Ben Stiller
9.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD A
Kree warrior attacks the team
10.00 The Inbetweeners The gang
goes on a field trip to Swanage
10.35 The Inbetweeners
11.10 The Big Bang Theory
11.35 The Big Bang Theory
12.00-1.10am Tattoo Fixers
7.00pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! Money owed by a jeweller
8.00 100 Per Cent Hotter: Make
Me Over New looks for two women
with a taste for baggy clothing
9.00 FILM RocknRolla (15, 2008)
A Russian mob boss sets up a
profitable real-estate scam, and
soon all London’s criminals are
after their share. Guy Ritchie’s
crime comedy with Gerard Butler
11.20-1.25am FILM Drive Angry
(18, 2011) Fantasy thriller starring
Nicolas Cage and Amber Heard
6.00pm FILM Never Let Go (PG,
1960) A salesman’s car is stolen.
Crime drama starring Richard Todd
7.50 Glimpses: Our London
8.00 A Family at War
9.00 The Human Jungle
10.00 FILM Innocent Sinners (U,
1958) A 13-year-old clashes with
the authorities over plans to build
a garden. Drama with Flora Robson
11.50-1.40am FILM All Night Long
(PG, 1962) A jazz group’s drummer
tries to ruin its leader’s marriage.
Drama starring Patrick McGoohan
7.00pm Mercy Street Hopkins and
Emma set out to rescue a stranded
group of wounded Union soldiers
8.00 The Heart Guy New series.
Australian drama about a
hedonistic heart surgeon. Starring
Rodger Corser. See Viewing Guide
9.00 Taggart Jardine and Reid
investigate bodybuilding to
discover why a security guard
would suddenly become a killer
11.55-2.10am Waking the Dead
Tara FitzGerald joins the team as
forensic scientist Eve Lockhart
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm We Have Been Watching
Blackadder, Only Fools and Horses
and Extras are appraised
8.00 ’Allo ’Allo! René’s cafe is
commandeered by the resistance
8.50 ’Allo ’Allo! René and the
Colonel try to smuggle a painting
9.30 ’Allo ’Allo! The communists
capture the disguised airmen
10.10 What a Carry On! Classic
moments from the comedy
favourites starring Sid James
10.45 What a Carry On!
11.15-12.15am Trading History
6.50pm FILM The Bridge at
Remagen (PG, 1969) Second World
War adventure starring George
Segal and Robert Vaughn
9.00 FILM Mortal Kombat (15,
1995) An evil sorcerer organises a
deadly martial arts tournament.
Fantasy adventure starring
Christopher Lambert
11.00-1.05am FILM Kickboxer (18,
1989) A martial arts fighter seeks
revenge on the Thai champion
who paralysed his brother. Thriller
starring Jean-Claude Van Damme
7.00pm Cop Car Workshop John
Heussi rebuilds the force’s beat car
8.00 Into the Fire Staff of the West
Midlands Fire Service are called to
an explosive incident a few miles
from Birmingham city centre, and
battle an entire roof on fire
9.00 Have I Got a Bit More News
for You Hosted by Charlie Brooker,
with Diane Abbott and Nish Kumar
10.00 QI XL With Sandi Toksvig, Al
Murray and Dara O Briain
11.00 Live at the Apollo
12.00-12.40am Room 101
6.20pm The Rise and Fall of Penn
Station Documentary charting the
history of the train terminal
7.25 The Mystery of the Black
Death Investigation into the
causes of the lethal disease
8.35 The Secrets of the Mary Rose
Timewatch reveals the story
behind Henry VIII’s favourite
warship, which sank in 1545
9.35 How Mad Was King George?
The life of George III
10.40 The Crusaders’ Lost Fort
11.40-12.50am Hoover Dam
5.00pm Andre Rieu: Falling in
Love — Live in Maastricht 2016
The Dutch violinist performs in his
home town, with the concert
featuring romantic favourites
8.00 The Nineties The concluding
part of the examination of the
decade’s television shows
9.00 Foo Fighters: Austin City
Limits The rock band perform for
the US music programme
10.15-12.10am L7: Pretend We’re
Dead Documentary about the
all-female grunge pioneers
7.00pm America’s Next Top Model
Reality contest with Tyra Banks
8.00 Chicago Fire Gunshot goes
off inside a house during a fire
9.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers The
story of Steven Grieveson, the
so-called “Sunderland Strangler”
10.00 Criminal Minds The agents
try to find whoever is kidnapping
and photographing young women
11.00 Criminal Minds Rossi tries to
solve an old case he has been
unable to solve for 20 years
12.00-1.00am Criminal Minds
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS Gibbs and his team are
forced to work with Tobias Fornell
9.00 American Dad!
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 Deep State An ex-spy is
brought out of retirement
11.00 The Walking Dead
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Deadliest Catch
8.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A Murder
Declassified Unseen documents
drawn by Tesla himself
9.00 Blowing Up History The
megastructures in Machu Picchu
10.00 Secrets of the Underground
11.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
12.00-1.00am Blowing Up History
7.00pm One Strange Rock
8.00 Bloody Tales of the Tower
9.00 Bloody Tales of the Tower
10.00 Bloody Tales of the Tower
11.00 Seconds from Disaster The
murderer Anders Behring Breivik
12.00-1.00am Seconds from
Disaster The plane that struck the
Pentagon on September 11, 2001
6.00pm FILM Spiceworld: The
Movie (PG, 1997) Musical comedy
8.00 Friends
9.00 FILM Along Came Polly (12,
2004) Romantic comedy
11.00 Lip Sync Battle
11.30 Impractical Jokers: Inside
Jokes Behind-the-scenes
12.00-12.30am My Name Is Earl
6.10pm Only Fools and Horses
7.20 Only Fools and Horses
8.00 Dad’s Army
8.40 Gavin & Stacey
9.20 Gavin & Stacey
10.00 Gavin & Stacey
10.35 Men Behaving Badly
11.15-12.20am Dylan Moran: Like,
Totally Stand-up comedy
7.00pm Inside the Ambulance
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Black Power: America’s
Armed Resistance Dan Murdoch
conducts a follow-up report on
race tensions in the US
10.10 999 Rescue Squad
11.10-12.10am Inside the
Ambulance
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.20pm The Emoji Movie (U, 2017)
Animation voiced by TJ Miller
8.00 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Thieves attempt a major
heist against the US Treasury as a
hurricane approaches. Action
thriller starring Toby Kebbell
9.50 The Free World (15, 2016) An
ex-convict becomes involved with
a woman with an abusive husband.
Drama starring Elisabeth Moss
11.35-1.55am Spider-Man:
Homecoming (12, 2017) Superhero
adventure starring Tom Holland
5.50pm Willow (PG, 1988) A
farmer protects a baby. Fantasy
adventure starring Warwick Davis
8.00 Footloose (15, 1984) A
rebellious student clashes with a
preacher who believes dancing is
immoral. Drama with Kevin Bacon
9.55 United 93 (15, 2006)
Fact-based drama about the fourth
plane hijacked in the September 11
attacks. With Christian Clemenson
11.55-2.20am The Fisher King (15,
1991) Comedy drama with Robin
Williams and Jeff Bridges
7.00pm Despicable Me 3 (U, 2017)
Gru sets off to meet his long-lost
twin brother. Animated sequel with
the voice of Steve Carell
8.35 Surf’s Up (PG, 2007)
Animated comedy with the voice
of Jeff Bridges and Shia LaBeouf
10.10 The Sword in the Stone (U,
1963) Disney animated adventure
with the voice of Rickie Sorenson
11.35-1.55am Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark
Side of Dimensions (PG, 2016)
Animated adventure with the voice
of Dan Green and Eric Stuart
6.30pm Guardians of the Galaxy
Vol 2 (12, 2017) The team unravel
the mystery surrounding Peter
Quill’s father. Fantasy adventure
with Chris Pratt and Zoe Saldana
9.00 Fast & Furious 8 (12, 2017)
When Dominic Toretto betrays
those closest to him, they face the
biggest trials of their lives. Action
sequel starring Vin Diesel
11.20-1.20am 12 Rounds (15, 2009)
A detective must complete a series
of dangerous games. Action thriller
with John Cena and Aidan Gillen
5.15pm The Bridge on the River
Kwai (PG, 1957) Second World War
drama starring Alec Guinness
8.00 Chariots of Fire (U, 1981)
Drama based on the true story of
the British runners Eric Liddell and
Harold Abrahams. With Ben Cross
10.10 The Wicker Man (18, 1973)
A police officer searches for a girl
on an island inhabited by a pagan
society. Horror starring Edward
Woodward and Christopher Lee
11.45-1.45am The Conversation (12,
1974) Thriller with Gene Hackman
The Big Yin holds forth in An
Audience with Billy Connolly
from 1985 (ITV4, 9pm)
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 31
1G R
Sunday 8
Sports guide
Live Football
Sky Football, 2.30pm
Radio 1
Lincoln City and Shrewsbury
Town contest the Checkatrade
Trophy final at Wembley
Stadium (kick-off 3pm).
Lincoln will be the underdogs,
as Shrewsbury are flying high
in second place in League
One, the division above the
Imps, who reached the final
after beating Chelsea’s Under21s on penalties. The Shrews
made it by beating Yeovil
Town 1-0, thanks to a goal from
Carlton Morris, pictured. JC
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.00am Alice Levine 10.00
Jordan North 1.00pm Matt
Edmondson 4.00 Life Hacks
6.00 Radio 1’s Most Played
7.00 Daniel P Carter 10.00 Phil
Taggart 1.00am Monki 3.00
Radio 1’s Artist Takeover
4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
Sky Sports Action
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
6.00am-9.00 LIVE HSBC
Sevens World Series:
The Hong Kong Sevens
1.30pm LIVE Nissan Super
Sunday: Arsenal v
Southampton (Kick-off 2.15)
From the Emirates Stadium
4.15 LIVE Nissan Super
Sunday Chelsea v West
Ham United (Kick-off 4.30)
From Stamford Bridge
6.30-12.30am LIVE The
Masters The final day
6.00am-12.45pm LIVE HSBC
Sevens World Series: The
Hong Kong Sevens
Sky Sports Premier
League
2.30pm-7.10 LIVE Formula 1:
The Bahrain Grand Prix
(Start-time 4.10)
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
1.30pm LIVE Nissan Super
Sunday: Arsenal v
Southampton (Kick-off 2.15)
From the Emirates Stadium
4.15-7.00 LIVE Nissan Super
Sunday: Chelsea v West
Ham United (Kick-off 4.30)
From Stamford Bridge
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
10.55am-1.00pm LIVE La Liga
Football: Levante v Las
Palmas (Kick-off 11.00)
2.30-5.15 LIVE Checkatrade
Trophy Final: Lincoln City v
Shrewsbury Town (Kick-off
3.00) All the action from the
match at Wembley Stadium
5.25-7.30 LIVE La Liga
Football: Real Sociedad v
Girona (Kick-off 3.00) From
the Anoeta Stadium
7.40 LIVE La Liga Football:
Valencia v Espanyol (Kick-off
7.45) From the Mestalla
9.45-11.05 LIVE MLS: Orlando
City SC v Portland Timbers
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
11.25am LIVE Indian
Premier League: Delhi
Daredevils v Kings XI Punjab
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League: Kolkata
Knight Riders v Royal
Challengers Bangalore
Sky Sports Golf
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
3.45pm-5.35 LIVE Top 14
Rugby Union: Racing 92 v
Toulon (Kick-off 3.50)
Sky Sports F1
SKY 406 VIRGIN 516
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
7.30am-10.30 LIVE AFL: West
Coast Eagles v Geelong Cats
11.30 Scottish Football Extra
12.00 LIVE SPFL: Hamilton
Academical v Celtic
2.45pm LIVE Aviva
Premiership Rugby Union:
Exeter Chiefs v Gloucester
(Kick-off 3.00)
5.00-7.00 LIVE Serie A:
Udinese v Lazio
7.30-9.45 LIVE Serie A:
AC Milan v Sassuolo
11.00-1.30am LIVE NBA:
Memphis Grizzlies v Detroit
Pistons (Tip-off 11.00)
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
11.00am-12.30pm LIVE
World Rally Championship
1.30pm-8.00 LIVE MotoGP
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
11.30am-1.30pm LIVE
Serie A: Torino v Inter Milan
(Kick-off 11.30)
2.15-4.30 LIVE Bundesliga
5.00-7.00 LIVE Bundesliga
7.45-10.00 LIVE Ligue 1
10.30-1.00am LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Abierto
Monterrey Afirme The final
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
6.00pm-12.30am LIVE The
Masters Coverage of the final
day of the year’s first Major
from the Augusta National
Radio guide
10.30am-11.50 LIVE FIA
World Touring Cars Coverage
of the qualifying session
12.30pm-4.00 LIVE Snooker:
China Open Further coverage
5.00am Huey on Sunday 6.00
Good Morning Sunday 9.00
Steve Wright’s Sunday Love
Songs 11.00 The Michael Ball
Show 1.00pm Craig Revel
Horwood 3.00 Johnnie
Walker’s Sounds of the 70s
5.00 Paul O’Grady 7.00 Claudia
on Sunday 9.00 Clare Teal
11.00 Moira Stuart 12.00
Sounds of the 60s (r) 2.00am
Radio 2’s Blues Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlists
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
7.00am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Sunday Morning
12.00 Private Passions
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Britten (Cello Sonata
in C major, Op. 65); and
Shostakovich (Cello Sonata in
D minor, Op. 40) (r)
2.00 The Early Music Show
3.00 Choral Evensong
From the Chapel of Keble
College, Oxford. Featuring
Introit: Victimae paschali
laudes (Plainsong arr Andrew
Reid). Office Hymn: Ad regias
Agni dapes (Plainsong, mode
viii). Anthem: Ye Choirs of New
Jerusalem (Stanford). Hymn:
The Strife Is O’er (Victory) (r)
4.00 Choir and Organ
5.00 The Listening Service
5.30 Words and Music
6.45 Sunday Feature:
Too Many Artists?
7.30 Drama on 3: The Wild
Duck Christopher Hampton’s
adaptation of Ibsen’s play
9.00 Radio 3 in Concert
Highlights from two concerts
given in Switzerland, featuring
the Basel Symphony Orchestra
and the Biel-Solothurn
Symphony Orchestra
11.30 Unclassified New series.
Elizabeth Alker introduces
music by new composers
12.30am Through the Night (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Bells on Sunday
5.45 Profile (r)
6.00 News Headlines
6.05 Something Understood
6.35 On Your Farm
7.00 News Headlines
7.10 Sunday
7.55 Radio 4 Appeal
Today’s picks
Life at Absolute Zero
Radio 4, 7.45pm
At first it feels
discombobulating to find
yourself listening to this series
by Lynne Truss, pictured, about
a fictional seaside town. It’s not
that it’s not good; it just feels so
unlike Truss. For years she was
best known as the nation’s
favourite grammatical martinet,
who took a zero-tolerance approach to misuse of the
semicolon. In this, she writes feelgood Alan Bennettish prose
about people called, well, Alan. It feels a bit frivolous, like
discovering that your headmistress uses emoticons. But as with
emoticons, you adjust. In tonight’s episode Alan, the head of
the Meridian Cliffs drama society, receives a text. It contains
such phrases as “CU” and “4 a drink”. Alan is suspicious. This
message is clearly from the sort of person who is “comfortable
using capital Cs and Us, not to mention the numeral 4, in place
of proper words”. Surely some mistake? Catherine Nixey
8.00 News Headlines
8.10 Sunday Worship
8.48 A Point of View (r)
8.58 Tweet of the Day
9.00 Broadcasting House
10.00 The Archers (r)
11.15 The Reunion
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Unbelievable Truth (r)
12.30 The Food Programme
1.00 The World This Weekend
1.30 Colin Powell: Learning
to Lead. See Choice
2.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time Horticulture (r)
2.45 The Listening Project (r)
3.00 Drama: An Enemy of the
People (2/2)
4.00 News Headlines
4.02 Open Book
4.30 The Echo Chamber
New series. Paul Farley meets
the poet Robin Robertson
5.00 The Trans Revolution (r)
5.40 Profile (r)
5.54 Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Pick of the Week
7.00 The Archers Life proves
difficult for Alistair and Adam
continues to be overwhelmed
7.15 My Obsession
7.45 Life at Absolute Zero.
See Choice
8.00 Feedback (r)
8.30 Last Word (r)
9.00 Money Box (r)
9.26 Radio 4 Appeal (r)
9.30 In Business (r)
10.00 The Westminster Hour
11.00 The Film Programme (r)
11.30 Something Understood
With Mark Tully (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.15am Thinking Allowed (r)
12.45 Bells on Sunday (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am 5 Live Science 6.00
Sunday Breakfast. News,
weather and travel 9.00
SportsWeek 10.00 Pienaar’s
Politics 11.00 5 Live
Investigates 12.00 5 Live Sport
4.00pm 5 Live Sport
4.30 5 Live Sport: Premier
League Football 2017-18 6.30
Live 6-0-6 8.00 5 Live Golf:
The Masters 1.00am Up All
Night 4.30 5 Live Formula 1
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am Fisherman’s Blues
7.00 Georgie Bingham and
Tony Cascarino 11.00 Warm
Up 1.00pm Live Sunday
Exclusive 3.30 The Full Time
Phone-in 5.00 The Final Word
8.00 Trans Europe Express
10.00 The Two Mikes 1.00am
Extra Time with Will Gavin
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Ray’s a Laugh 8.30
Take It from Here 9.00
Factfulness Omnibus 10.10
The Listening Project 10.15
Desert Island Discs Revisited:
Artists 11.00 Radiolab 12.00
Ray’s a Laugh 12.30pm Take It
from Here 1.00 The Old
Curiosity Shop Omnibus: Part
Five 2.15 Not Yet Jayette 2.30
Dark Corners Omnibus: Part
One 3.45 Ian Fleming’s
Thrilling Cities 4.00 Endless
Night 5.00 Poetry Extra 5.30
John Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme 6.00 Small Gods
6.30 Weird Tales 7.00
Radiolab 8.00 Sir Ken Dodd:
What a Beautiful Day! 9.20
It’s Great To Be Young 9.50
Inheritance Tracks 10.00
Comedy Club: John
Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme 10.30 Brian
Gulliver’s Travels 11.00 John
Shuttleworth’s Lounge Music
11.30 2000 Years of Radio
11.45 Quando, Quando,
Quando 12.00 Small Gods
12.30am Weird Tales
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 From
Our Own Correspondent
Colin Powell:
Learning to Lead
Radio 4, 1.30pm
Colin Powell’s voice is quiet.
Nonetheless, you get the
feeling he is furious. “We are
a nation of immigrants,” says
the former US secretary of
state. “It’s ridiculous not to
have a sound immigration
policy.” Powell being Powell,
his solution is not to sit and
complain fruitlessly about
politics, but to do something
positive to change it. In his
case, that positive thing is the
Colin Powell School for Civic
and Global Leadership in
Harlem, New York. Like its
subject, this is quietly
inspiring. CN
9.30 Heart and Soul
10.00 News 10.06 Outlook
10.30 The Compass 11.00
News 11.06 The Newsroom
11.30 Boston Calling 12.00
News 12.06pm BBC World
Hacks 12.30 Science in Action
1.00 Newshour 2.00 News
2.06 World Book Club 3.00
News 3.06 The Arts Hour
4.00 News 4.06 Sportsworld
5.00 News 5.06 Sportsworld
6.00 News 6.06 Sportsworld
7.00 The Newsroom 7.30
Living with the Gods 7.50
More or Less 8.00 News 8.06
Music Extra 9.00 Newshour
10.06 The History Hour 11.00
News 11.06 The Newsroom
11.20 Sports News 11.30
Heart and Soul 12.00 News
12.06am The Cultural
Frontline 12.30 Click 1.00
News 1.06 Business 1.30
Science in Action 2.00 News
2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
Healthcheck 3.00 News
3.06 HARDtalk 3.30 The
Conversation 4.00 News
4.06 Trending 4.30 The
Cultural Frontline
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Mary Anne Hobbs
10.00 Cerys Matthews
1.00pm Sound and Vision
2.00 Guy Garvey 4.00 Amy
Lamé 6.00 Now Playing
@6Music 8.00 Stuart
Maconie 10.00 Don Letts
12.00 Guy Garvey 2.00am
The BBC Introducing Mixtape
3.00 6 Music Live Hour
4.00 Sound and Vision
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
7.00am Aled Jones 10.00
Bill Turnbull 1.00pm Henry
Blofeld 3.00 Charlotte
Hawkins 5.00 The Classic FM
Chart 7.00 David Mellor 9.00
Everything You Ever Wanted
to Know About Classical
Music 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Sam Pittis
32 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Monday 9 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice
MasterChef: The Finals
BBC One, 9pm
It’s finals week and there are
four helpings of the cookery
competition as we near the
endgame of another series.
In the first challenge, the five
remaining amateur chefs —
airline captain David, 40;
visual merchandiser Alex, 40;
bank manager Kenny, 35;
pharmacist Moonira, 38; and
phD student Nawamin, 27,
pictured — travel to Carlton
Towers in Yorkshire, a country
house that is home to Lord
and Lady Fitzalan-Howard and
family. Their task is to cook
lunch for some of Yorkshire’s
finest local producers and
farmers, including the author
and shepherdess Amanda
Owen, rhubarb farmer Robert
Tomlinson and Simon Eyles,
the MD of Yorkshire tearooms
Betty’s. The contestants have
an inspiring figure overseeing
their efforts — Tommy Banks,
who at age 24 became
Britain’s youngest chef to hold
a Michelin star. Banks has
devised an exceptional
five-course tasting menu,
including a beetroot steak
with cod roe emulsion, and a
damson parfait and damson
jam doughnut, with each of
the amateur chefs looking
after one course. The judges
John Torode and Gregg
Wallace look on, puffing out
their cheeks and delivering
soundbites from their wellworn repertoire. At the end
of tonight’s challenge, one of
the contestants is sent home,
with the remaining four off on
a culinary adventure to Peru
(Wed, 8pm). On Thursday they
are cooking dishes devised by
Heston Blumenthal’s protégé
Ashley Palmer-Watts (8pm),
after which another one bites
the dust, leaving the final
three to cook their best
three-course meal on Friday
(8.30pm), when the winner
will be crowned. Joe Clay
Further recommendations
All seven BBC series of The Great British Bake Off are on Netflix,
while BBC iPlayer has a selection of classic cookery shows
Secret Agent
Selection: WW2
The Island with
Bear Grylls
Lisbon: An Art
Lovers’ Guide
Kiss Me First
BBC Two, 9pm
Channel 4, 9pm
BBC Four, 9pm
Part history programme, part
reality TV, this five-part series
focuses on the recruitment and
training policies of a secretive
Second World War-era
organisation. The programme’s
hook is that this undercover
group of agents — intended to
go into enemy territory to
disrupt Nazi forces through
covert operations — have had
their files classified for the past
60 years, meaning that this is
the first time a team of random
participants can be put through
their training regime for our
pleasure. See pick of the week,
page 23. Alexi Duggins
Lest you thought that the
resentment and aggression
between the two groups was
likely to segue into chirpiness
and smiles, think again.
They’ve separated into two
teams with different camps,
meaning that they can have
internal arguments instead.
Glazier Phil has taken charge
of the lower-income group,
while the wealthy team turn
on medical lecturer James as
their fire dies in the rain. It’s
full of conflict, hardship and
vegetarians struggling to kill
animals for their dinner —
business as usual, then. AD
The art historians Janina
Ramirez and Alastair Sooke
return for another series of
city breaks intended to give
you the lowdown on the
destination’s art scene. This
time they are looking at Beirut,
Baku and Lisbon, with the last
being the setting for tonight’s
episode. Expect plenty of
enthusiastic descriptions of
works of contemporary art,
most likely involving one of
the pair lengthily telling the
other something that they
already know, entirely for
the expository benefit of
the viewer. AD
This part CGI, part live-action
youth drama about online
gaming becomes increasingly
unsettling this week. Party girl
Tess turns out not to be the
cocksure wild child we thought
as she battles with low selfesteem, depression and a
resentful mother, while Leila
slides into erratic behaviour
when she tries finding herself
after her mum’s death. She
hacks into Tess’s profile, tries
on her clothes when she’s not
looking and even impersonates
her while on the phone to
Tess’s boyfriend. There are still
fun moments, though — Welsh
flatmate Jonty lights up the
screen with his goofiness. AD
Catch
up
Britain’s Favourite Food
All4, to April 22
Simon Rimmer, pictured,
the Liverpudlian chef
from Channel 4’s Sunday
Brunch, fronts this latest
TV look at how we used
to eat. Rather than
make a family
dress up in period
garb and live the
history (as with
Back in Time
for Tea), this
takes a more
straightforward
route in ticking
off the lurid foods of
yesteryear, mainly from the
1960s and 1970s. From Angel
Delight — Rimmer explores
how the success of this sugary
pudding was down to the
British equivalent of Mad Men’s
Don Draper — to the golden
summer of 1979, when ice-lolly
brands exploited
children with 10p
Zooms and Fabs, via
memories of the
arrival of the
Marks &
Spencer
chicken Kiev
and the Smash
robot, this is
an enjoyable
look at happier,
unhealthier times.
James Jackson
Channel 4, 10pm
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
7.30pm-8.00 Sam and Shauna’s Big Cook
Out 10.40 Last Chance for Justice:
Panorama 11.10 Have I Got a Bit More
News for You 11.55 The Graham Norton
Show (r) 12.45am-6.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm Keepin ’er Country 11.10 BBC
Radio 2 Folk Awards: Belfast 2018
12.10am Have I Got a Bit More News for
You 12.55 Graham Norton Show (r) 1.456.00 Live Commonwealth Games 2018
● Channel As ITV except:
1.05am-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● ITV Wales As ITV except: 10.50pm
Sharp End 11.15-11.50 Love Your Garden
● STV As ITV except: 10.35pm Scotland
Tonight 11.10 The Investigator: A British
Crime Story (r) 12.05am Teleshopping
1.05 After Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen
4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 1.05am
Teleshopping 2.35-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen
(r) 6.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty
Mel (r) 7.00 Meic y Marchog (r)
7.15 Jen a Jim Pob Dim (r) 7.30 Nico Nôg
(r) 7.40 Sam Tân (r) 7.50 Sblij a Sbloj 8.00
Cymylaubychain (r) 8.15 Sali Mali (r) 8.20
Cwpwrdd Cadi (r) 8.30 Cled (r) 8.45
Marcaroni (r) 9.00 Dwylo’r Enfys (r) 9.15
Stiw (r) 9.25 Oli Dan y Don (r) 9.35 Nodi (r)
9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul
(r) 10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Meic y Marchog (r)
11.15 Jen a Jim Pob Dim (r) 11.30 Nico Nôg
(r) 11.40 Sam Tân (r) 11.50 Sblij a Sbloj (r)
12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm
Teithiau Tramor Iolo (r) 12.30 Ar Werth (r)
1.00 Celwydd Noeth (r) 1.30 Codi Hwyl (r)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Dilyn y Don (r) 4.00
Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Larfa 5.05 Mwy o
Stwnsh Sadwrn 5.25 Pengwiniaid
Madagascar (r) 5.35 Sgorio 6.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Gwaith/Cartref (r)
7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm 8.25
Garddio a Mwy 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Ffermio 10.00 Ralïo+: Ffrainc
10.30 TBA 11.00-11.35 Mike Phillips
a’r Senghenydd Sirens (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
Shark Tale (U, 2004)
Film4, 1.15pm
There’s room for only one animated fish movie in a 12-month
period and, unfortunately for Shark Tale, Finding Nemo covered
much the same territory with far more wit and originality. Yet what
Shark Tale lacks in competent comedy writing it makes up for in
brain-rattling volume. Unlike Nemo, this film is targeted
predominantly at children, its appeal for adults being limited to
people who think that gangster movie parodies and references to
MTV Cribs are the last word in culturally relevant comedy. With its
themes of subaqua bling and conspicuous consumption, this
deep-sea adventure is irredeemably shallow. (90min) Wendy Ide
Johnny English (PG, 2003)
Film4, 4.40pm
Possibly the most successful film
franchise to have its genesis in
a series of Barclaycard adverts
will become a trilogy next year
with Johnny English 3. If that
surprises you, then you will have
underestimated the global appeal of
Rowan Atkinson’s pratfalling British
secret agent — one part James Bond,
11 parts Mr Bean. The superb tagline — “He knows no fear. He
knows no danger. He knows nothing” — sums up the knockabout
feel of proceedings. When almost all of English’s MI7 colleagues
are wiped out (thanks to his incompetence), he is tasked with
stopping a supervillain (John Malkovich) from stealing the Crown
Jewels. Yes, that old chestnut. (88min) Chris Bennion
Triple 9 (15, 2016)
Film4, 9pm
First, some preconditions. Triple 9 is a violent, generic cop movie
featuring decapitations and a lower leg blown to bits. If you can
cope with that, you may just find that the film — directed by John
Hillcoat (The Road) and starring Chiwetel Ejiofor, Casey Affleck,
Woody Harrelson and Kate Winslet — is the most compelling and
gut-tighteningly intense cop drama since Heat. Affleck is an
idealistic do-gooder detective transferred to the toughest
precinct in Atlanta to clean up the streets. Standing in his way is
a lethal team of bank robbers led by Ejiofor as a fearsome special
forces veteran, and a vision of pure evil in the form of Winslet’s
Russian-Jewish mobster matriarch. (115min) Kate Muir
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 33
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Monday 9
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thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. Further
coverage from day five of the Games
in Queensland, featuring the women’s
100m final at the Carrara Stadium
1.00pm BBC News at One; Weather
1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
1.45 Doctors. Daniel’s doubts grow
when he gets a call about Joni 2.15
800 Words. New series. Antipodean
comedy drama starring Erik Thomson
3.00 Escape to the Country. A couple
hoping to move to Norfolk 3.45
Money for Nothing. Sarah Moore
transforms three more items
reclaimed from a tip (r) 4.30 Flog It!
Making a profit at auction 5.15
Pointless. Quiz show 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 6.55 Party Election
Broadcast. By the Conservative Party
6.00am Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Day five of the Games continues
with artistic gymnastics and women’s
hockey taking place 9.15 Oxford Street
Revealed (r) 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (r) 11.00 Britain’s Home
Truths (r) 11.45 Dom on the Spot
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (r) 1.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. Clare
Balding and Gabby Logan present as
the men’s 100m final takes place at
Carrara Stadium, in the concluding
programme of coverage from day five
of the Games in Queensland 5.15 Put
Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.
Eric Knowles takes on Danny
Sebastian at an antiques fair in
Nottinghamshire (r) 6.00 Eggheads.
Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
6.30 Today at the Games. Highlights
of day five from Queensland
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning. Chat and lifestyle
features 12.30pm Loose Women.
Interviews and topical studio
discussion from a female perspective
1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Regional
News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
Robert Rinder takes on real-life
cases in a studio courtroom (r) 3.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal. The team heads
to Manchester, where items of
interest include a silver scent bottle, a
vintage outfit and a pair of binoculars
(r) 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard
hosts the arcade-themed quiz show
(r) 5.00 The Chase. Quiz show hosted
by Bradley Walsh 6.00 Regional
News; Weather 6.25 Party Election
Broadcast. By the Conservative Party
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (r) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r) 4.00
Escape to the Chateau: DIY. New
series. Following British people living
in and running French castles 5.00
Four in a Bed. The competition begins
at Chimneys B&B in Holbrook, Suffolk
(r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale 6.00 The
Simpsons (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Ste and Leela clash over the best
way to take care of Tegan (r)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 The Gadget Show (r) 1.10 Access.
Showbiz news and gossip 1.15 Home
and Away. Ryder worries he is the
cause of Alf and Roo’s rift 1.45
Neighbours. Paul is distracted by the
return of Jane Harris to Ramsay Street
2.15 NCIS. Tony’s car is blown up (r)
3.15 FILM Newlywed and Dead (TVM,
2016) A young newlywed woman
begins to doubt her husband’s love
when his aunt and rival is found
murdered. Drama starring Shenae
Grimes-Beech 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30
Neighbours. Paul is distracted by the
return of Jane Harris to Ramsay Street
(r) 6.00 Home and Away. Ryder
worries he is the cause of Alf and
Roo’s rift (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Australian drama 800 Words (2.15pm)
Gabby Logan presents (1pm)
Anna Friel is Marcella (9pm)
Travel Man visits Oslo (8.30pm)
Springtime on the Farm (8pm)
7.00 The One Show Presented by
Matt Baker and Alex Jones
7.00 Emmerdale Bob and Laurel fear
the truth is out and try to work
out how much Bernice knows
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.30 Fake Britain Matt Allwright
investigates bogus energysaving schemes (9/10)
7.30 Coronation Street David
releases his anger, and Carla
presents Aidan with a surprise
7.00 Aviva Premiership Rugby
Highlights Action from the 19th
round of matches, including
Sale Sharks v Wasps, Bath v
Leicester Tigers, and Exeter
Chiefs v Gloucester; followed
by 5 News Update
8.00 Springtime on the Farm New
series. Celebrating the work of
farmers around the country,
with the show’s hosts at
Cannon Hall Farm in South
Yorkshire revealing how they
stay afloat as a business (1/5);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 EastEnders Phil is on the
warpath as he seeks revenge
8.00 Only Connect Round three
losers the Eco-Warriors and
the Escapologists return
8.00 The Kyle Files Jeremy Kyle
investigates the issue of acid
attacks. Last in the series
8.00 Britain’s Diesel Scandal:
Channel 4 Dispatches Hauliers
disabling emissions controls
8.30 Last Chance for Justice:
Panorama A report on the
Criminal Cases Review
Commission
8.30 University Challenge The first
semi-final of the competition
8.30 Coronation Street David faces
the consequences of attacking
Gary, and Carla’s grand gesture
overwhelms Aidan
8.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours in Oslo
Fay Ripley joins Richard Ayoade
on a mini-break in Norway (2/4)
9.00 Masterchef: The Finals
The final week of the cookery
challenge gets under way with
the five contenders having to
cater a lunch hosted by Lord
and Lady Fitzalan-Howard at
Carlton Towers, north Yorkshire.
See Viewing Guide
9.00 Secret Agent Selection: WW2
New series. People undergo the
training programme of a covert
organisation established during
the Second World War.
See Viewing Guide (1/5)
9.00 Marcella Acting on information
gleaned from Eric and Joel,
Marcella rushes to the killer’s
house and finds Edward’s
ringing phone — triggering a
blackout. Last in the series
9.00 The Island with Bear Grylls The
two groups go their separate
ways and set up camp at
opposite ends of the same
beach, with Phil’s dictatorial
style ending in mutiny and
James finding himself frozen
out. See Viewing Guide (2/5)
9.00 Paddington Station 24/7
The station’s safety is thrown
into jeopardy by reports of a
trespasser on the roof, while
technicians inspect half a mile
of track where six busy lines
feed into 14 platforms
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 QI With Sally Phillips, Ross
Noble and Nish Kumar (r)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the
day’s events with Evan Davis
10.35 Regional News; Weather
10.00 Kiss Me First Shadowfax
has to prove to Adrian she
would be a worthy member
of Red Pill, which is still an
enticing prospect despite her
doubts due to Calumny’s
disappearance from the game.
See Viewing Guide (2/6)
10.00 Police UK: Armed and Deadly
This edition examines how the
police arm themselves to take
on the dangerous threat of
organised criminal gangs, from
armed robbers to terrorists.
Last in the series
11.05 Indian Summer School Five
British boys who have failed
their core GCSEs take part in
a study programme at the
world-famous Doon School in
India, which has an exam pass
rate of 100 per cent (1/3) (r)
11.05 Criminals Caught on Camera
After a complex police
operation, an international
drug smuggler is caught with
£12m worth of narcotics in his
car. Plus, a look inside a busy
CCTV centre (1/10)
12.05am Lee and Dean (r) 12.35 My
Online Nightmare (r) 1.35 I Don’t Like
Mondays (r) 2.30 George Clarke’s Old
House, New Home (r) 3.25 Building
the Dream (r) 4.20 Kirstie’s Fill Your
House for Free (r) 4.40 The Question
Jury (r) 5.35 One Star to Five Star (r)
12.05am America’s Toughest Prisons.
Life inside Statesville Prison in Illinois
(r) 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind
Closed Doors (r) 4.00 Cruising with
Jane McDonald (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Great Scientists (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
10.45 Have I Got a Bit More News for
You Jeremy Paxman hosts an
extended edition of the quiz,
with Steph McGovern and Josh
Widdicombe joining Ian Hislop
and Paul Merton (1/9)
11.15 The Secret Helpers Alex and
Jonny seek advice from
strangers around the world (r)
11.30 The Graham Norton Show With
Emily Blunt, John Krasinski and
Tom Holland. With music from
Kylie Minogue (1/13) (r)
12.15am Live Commonwealth Games
2018. JJ Chalmers presents coverage
from the sixth day, with the women’s
400m freestyle swimming heats,
the women’s athletics 200m and
400m hurdles heats, and the men’s
road cycling time-trial
10.50 The Investigator: A British
Crime Story The journalist
and former detective Mark
Williams-Thomas looks into
several cases of missing
women, aiming to link them
to two men currently serving
time for murder (1/3) (r)
11.50 The Kyle Files Acid attacks.
Last in the series (r)
12.15am FILM Sign Zone: The Silent
Child (U, 2017) Short film starring
Maisie Sly (SL) 12.35 David
Attenborough’s Natural Curiosities
(r) (SL) 1.05 Hugh’s Wild West
(r) (SL) 2.05 Weather for the Week
Ahead 2.10 BBC News
12.15am Last Laugh in Vegas. Nine
British showbusiness stars, including
Cannon and Ball and Su Pollard, put
on their dream gig in Nevada (r) 1.05
Jackpot247 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) (SL) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
34 saturday review
1G
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Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Satur
Plebs
Monday 9 | Primetime digital guide
The hapless young
residents of ancient Rome
return in the comedy
ITV2, 10pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
Exploring the ecosystem of
Monterey Bay (R)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended highlights
of the fifth day’s action in
Queensland, with the men’s
and women’s 100m finals
taking centre stage
9.00 Lisbon: An Art Lovers’
Guide New series.
See Viewing Guide
10.00 David Hurn: A Life in
Pictures The celebrated
photographer reflects on his
60-year career (R)
10.40 Cinema Through the Eye of
Magnum The studio’s iconic
images of movie stars, such
as Eve Arnold’s intimate
working relationship with
Marilyn Monroe (R)
11.35-12.35am Dan Cruickshank:
At Home with the British
Celebrating British homes,
beginning with cottages (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote Jessica
sets out to prove a friend is
innocent of murdering the
best-selling author of a
series of mass-market
novels, who has been found
dead in a hot-tub (R)
8.00 Lewis After a body is found
on an Oxford tour bus, the
detectives are led to a
country estate where
Hathaway spent much of his
childhood (R)
10.00 DCI Banks (1/2) Two people
claiming to be social
workers take away a
woman’s son, but when they
fail to return, Banks is drawn
into the search for the
missing boy (R)
11.00-12.05am DCI Banks (2/2)
The body on the moors is
identified as Andre Petri,
and with Kyle Heath still
missing, Banks and the team
search for a link between
the two boys (R)
6.55pm The Secret Life of the Zoo
An elephant calf is born at
Chester Zoo, but its young
half-sister does not welcome
the new arrival, and a bush
dog dad is under pressure
as his family grows (R)
7.55 Grand Designs The plans of
a couple who hope to
construct a small retirement
home within a walled
garden in the grounds of a
manor house (R)
9.00 Car SOS Tim Shaw and Fuzz
Townshend head to
Hampshire to repair a 1982
VW Golf GTi Mk1 that has
been kept in a garage since
a road accident in 2001 (R)
10.00 Flights from Hell: Caught
on Camera The extremes
of human behaviour in
airports and on planes (R)
11.05-12.05am 24 Hours in A&E
A seven-year-old boy is
brought in after falling from
a tree in his garden (R)
6.25pm FILM The Core (12, 2003)
A team of scientists embark
on a risky mission to save
the world from destruction
after the Earth’s core stops
spinning. Sci-fi thriller
starring Aaron Eckhart
and Hilary Swank
9.00 FILM Triple 9 (15, 2016)
A gang of corrupt cops is
blackmailed into carrying
out a seemingly impossible
heist by the Russian Mob.
They realise that the only
way to carry out the crime is
to kill a police officer as a
diversion. Crime thriller with
Chiwetel Ejiofor and Casey
Affleck. See Film Choice
11.15-1.20am FILM Kick-Ass 2
(15, 2013) Amateur vigilante
Dave joins a team of
crimefighters, but faces the
world’s first supervillain.
Action comedy sequel with
Aaron Taylor-Johnson and
Chloë Grace Moretz
7.00pm The Simpsons Lisa is
teased mercilessly by her
classmates for having a
weight problem (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Marge is left
feeling jealous and dejected
by an encounter with an old
school friend (R)
8.00 Supergirl Morgan Edge
survives an assassination
attempt and he points the
finger of blame at Lena. He
vows to destroy her, which
threatens to ignite her
Luthor dark side
9.00 FILM The Bone Collector
(15, 1999) A quadriplegic
ex-cop helps a rookie officer
hunt for a serial killer who
takes trophies from his
victims’ bodies. Thriller
starring Denzel Washington
and Angelina Jolie
11.15-12.10am The Force: North
East The dog unit deals with
a man who has barricaded
himself in his house (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation Grissom and
Sara investigate the
discovery of two murder
victims on a building site (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Jamie risks
ruining his undercover
work when he saves a baby
from a burning building,
and Danny decides to
reopen a closed case (R)
9.00 Blue Bloods Danny and
Jackie are assigned to
protect a witness, but a
leak could undermine the
entire operation (R)
10.00 Last Week Tonight with
John Oliver A satirical look
at news and pop culture
10.35 Our Cartoon President
President Trump throws a
party in the wake of a
government shutdown (R)
11.10-12.20am Real Time with Bill
Maher The comic and
guests have a discussion
about the week’s events (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Comical clips
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 American Dad!
10.00 Plebs New series. Return of
the comedy with Tom Rosenthal
10.30 Plebs The boys’ bar receives
a devastating review
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
11.55-12.25am American Dad!
7.00pm Pawn Stars
7.25 Pawn Stars
7.55 Mr Bean
8.30 Mr Bean
9.00 FILM Lethal Weapon 2
(18, 1989) The detectives set their
sights on a South African diplomat
laundering drugs money. Action
thriller sequel starring Mel Gibson
11.20-1.30am FILM Red Heat (18,
1988) A Russian detective and a
Chicago cop try to catch an
escaped drug baron. Action thriller
starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
7.00pm Hollyoaks
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers
8.00 The Big Bang Theory
8.30 Young Sheldon
9.00 Made in Chelsea Ryan
confronts Louise over her lack of
empathy after a disastrous dinner
10.00 Don’t Tell the Bride Ireland
A groom-to-be plans to hold his
wedding in an Ikea store
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35-12.05am The Big Bang
Theory Howard and Bernadette
are upset to leave their daughter
7.00pm Last Man Standing
Eve requests financial help
7.30 Last Man Standing Mike is
excited when he receives an offer
to submit his artefact to a museum
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
9.00 Fights, Camera, Action!
10.00 Bad Teen to Ballroom
Queen Teens learn discipline on
the dance floor. Last in the series
11.00 Beyond Evil: The Murder of
Becky Watts The 2015 killing
12.00-1.00am When Kids Kill:
Beaten for Being Different
6.40pm FILM Profile (PG, 1954)
A magazine editor falls for his
publisher’s daughter. Drama with
John Bentley and Kathleen Byron
8.00 Gideon’s Way A housekeeper
murders her elderly clients
9.00 FILM The Informers
(12, 1963) A police inspector
investigates the murder of a
Scotland Yard informer. Police
thriller starring Nigel Patrick
11.05-12.40am FILM Treasure Hunt
(U, 1952) Comedy starring Martita
Hunt and Jimmy Edwards
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Rumours abound of ghosts
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Howard buys a used car
8.00 Hetty Wainthropp
Investigates The detectives are
swamped with work
9.00 New Tricks The team
investigates a lookalike agency
10.00 New Tricks Evidence sheds
light on the death of a criminal
11.20 Birds of a Feather Sharon
faces a difficult choice
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Who Do You Think You
Are? Martin Shaw tries to find out
about his paternal grandfather
8.00 Forbidden History The lost
city of Petra in Jordan
9.00 Goodnight Sweetheart
A bomb hits the time portal
9.40 Goodnight Sweetheart
Ron puts Gary in danger
10.20 Goodnight Sweetheart
Gary interferes with history
11.00 One Foot in the Grave
11.40-12.20am One Foot in the
Grave Margaret comes into money
7.00pm Police Interceptors
Officers raid a cannabis farm
8.00 Burglars & Break-Ins: Caught
on Camera Taking neighbourhood
watch to the next level
9.00 Car Crash TV Events caught
by dashboard-mounted cameras
10.00 Spartacus: Vengeance The
gladiator has to choose between
taking revenge and keeping his
band of freed slaves together
11.05-12.05am The X-Files A man is
driven to kill by a voice that seems
to be coming from a tattoo
7.00pm QI XL With panellists Bill
Bailey, Jo Brand and Greg Davies
8.00 Cop Car Workshop John and
Dave get rid of skips and trailers
9.00 Live at the Apollo Rhod
Gilbert hosts stand-up by Jon
Richardson and Kerry Godliman
10.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit With
Katherine Ryan and Phil Wang
11.00 Taskmaster Greg Davies sets
more tasks for comedians
including Frank Skinner
12.00-12.40am QI With Rich Hall,
Mark Steel and Phill Jupitus
6.15pm Forced March to Freedom
The fate of PoWs forced to walk
across Germany during winter
7.55 The Teacher Who Defied
Hitler The story of how a Berlin
couple discovered a way to open a
school for Jewish children in 1934
9.00 The Gilded Age America
during the closing decades of
the 19th century (1/2)
10.15 Jazz A new generation of
performers in the post-war period
11.35-12.50am The Teacher Who
Defied Hitler Documentary
7.00pm Auction New series.
Letters written by Verdi and a
rarely seen Picasso are up for sale
7.30 Johnny Cash: A Legend in
Concert A selection of early
recordings by the country star
8.20 André Rieu: Live in
Maastricht VI A concert from 2012
11.00 The South Bank Show
Originals With Saul Bellow
11.30 The South Bank Show
Originals With Jack Lemmon
12.00-12.30am Urban Myths: Bob
Dylan Comedy with Eddie Marsan
7.00pm The Real A&E A man
suffers a heart attack
8.00 Elementary Holmes
investigates a Wall Street banker’s
apparent heroin overdose
9.00 Criminal Minds A killer clown
terrorises a sleepy Oklahoma town
10.00 Blindspot Rich’s place in the
FBI is called into question
11.00 Criminal Minds A suspected
serial killer wakes from a coma
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation The team takes on
four challenging cases
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS The death of an ensign
is linked to a larger conspiracy
9.00 The Walking Dead Aaron
continues searching for allies
10.00 Talking Dead
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Fast N’ Loud A race to finish
their 1975 Datsun 280Z
9.00 Fast N’ Loud Richard
Rawlings answers fans’ questions
10.00 Shifting Gears with Aaron
Kaufman A semi-race truck
11.00 Street Outlaws
12.00-1.00am Fast N’ Loud
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
A plane crippled while flying into
the heart of Hurricane Hugo
8.00 Car SOS A 1971 sports car
9.00 Seconds from Disaster
10.00 Seconds from Disaster
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Strippers: Cars for
Cash Ferraris and Porsches
7.00pm Friends
8.00 Friends
9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News
10.00 Russell Howard & Mum:
USA Road Trip In Los Angeles
10.30 Impractical Jokers: Inside
Jokes Rosie O’Donnell’s needs
11.00 Bad Robots
11.30-12.30am Impractical Jokers
7.00pm You Rang, M’Lord?
8.00 Dad’s Army
8.40 Only Fools and Horses
Del decorates a Chinese restaurant
9.20 Fawlty Towers
10.00 Fawlty Towers
10.40 Mrs Brown’s Boys
11.20 The Fast Show
12.00-12.35am Bridget & Eamon
7.00pm My Dream Home A dream
home for Wyatt and Whitney
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
Medics help a man having an
anxiety attack in the street
9.00 One Born Every Minute
10.00 Babies: Special Delivery
11.00 Gavin & Stacey
11.40-12.20am Gavin & Stacey
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.30pm The Emoji Movie (U, 2017)
Animated adventure voiced by
TJ Miller and James Corden
8.00 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Thieves attempt a heist as a
hurricane approaches. Action
thriller starring Toby Kebbell
9.50 Rough Stuff (12, 2017)
Activists embark on an expedition
through Australian terrain.
Adventure starring Gareth Rickards
12.00-1.45am The Free World (15,
2016) Drama starring Elisabeth
Moss and Waleed Zuaiter
6.00pm That Thing You Do! (PG,
1996) A small-town beat combo
become a national overnight
sensation in the 1960s. Comedy
drama starring Tom Hanks
8.00 Ghost (12, 1990) A murdered
executive’s spirit enlists the aid of a
fraudulent psychic to help his
girlfriend bring his killer to justice.
Romantic fantasy starring Demi
Moore and Patrick Swayze
10.10-12.10am Bad Boys (18, 1995)
Action thriller starring Will Smith
and Martin Lawrence
6.30pm The Little Mermaid
(U, 1989) Animated adventure with
the voice of Jodi Benson
8.00 Kubo and the Two Strings
(PG, 2016) A boy inadvertently
summons vengeful spirits.
Animated adventure featuring the
voice of Charlize Theron
9.50 The Ant Bully (U, 2006)
Animated adventure featuring the
voice of Julia Roberts
11.30-1.10am Top Cat Begins (U,
2015) Animated comedy featuring
the voice of Jason Harris
5.45pm Iron Man 3 (12, 2013)
Superhero adventure with Robert
Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow
8.00 Doctor Strange (12, 2016)
An American surgeon becomes a
warrior in an inter-dimensional
battle. Fantasy adventure starring
Benedict Cumberbatch
10.00 Birth of the Dragon (12,
2016) Fact-based drama starring
Billy Magnussen and Philip Ng
11.40-1.15am The Hunter’s Prayer
(15, 2017) Action thriller starring
Sam Worthington and Odeya Rush
6.00pm Alfie (15, 1966) A cockney
lothario leads a carefree life, until
real life starts to intrude. Comedy
drama starring Michael Caine
8.00 Escape from Alcatraz (15,
1979) A convict tries to break out
of the notorious high-security
island prison. Fact-based drama
starring Clint Eastwood
10.00-12.15am The Verdict (15,
1982) A failed attorney strives to
see justice done for the family of a
woman who was left in a coma.
Drama starring Paul Newman
Marilyn Monroe features in
Cinema Through the Eye of
Magnum (BBC Four, 10.40pm)
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 35
1G R
Monday 9
Sports guide
Live IPL Cricket
Sky Sports Cricket, 3pm
Radio 1
It’s match four of the new
IPL season and Sunrisers
Hyderabad take on Rajasthan
Royals at the Rajiv Gandhi
International Cricket Stadium
in Hyderabad. David Warner
stepped down as captain of
the Sunrisers over the balltampering scandal, so the 2016
champions have drafted in
England’s Alex Hales, pictured,
as a replacement, with New
Zealand’s Kane Williamson
taking over as captain. JC
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
10.00am PL Daily
11.00 Sky Sports Daily
12.00 Sky Sports News
3.00pm LIVE Indian Premier
League: Sunrisers Hyderabad
v Rajasthan Royals Coverage
of the match from the Rajiv
Gandhi International Cricket
Stadium, Hyderabad
7.30 Sky Sports Tonight
8.00 How the 2018 Masters
Was Won A look back at the
opening Major of the year
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Sky Sports News
1.00am-4.15 LIVE WWE
Late Night Raw Wrestling
coverage from the States
Sky Sports Premier
League
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
10.00am PL Daily
11.00 Goals on Sunday
12.30pm PL Highlights
4.30 PL 100 Club
5.00 Soccer AM: The Best
Bits Highlights
5.30 PL Highlights
6.30 Best PL Goals: North
London Derby
7.00 PL Review
8.00 PL Highlights
9.00 PL Review
10.00 The Debate
11.00 PL Review
12.00-12.30am Soccer AM:
The Best Bits Highlights
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
9.00am La Liga Highlights:
Real Madrid
9.15 La Liga Highlights:
Barcelona
9.30 La Liga Greatest Games
10.00 La Liga Football
4.45pm La Liga Greatest
Games The 2005/06 season
5.00 Football Years
5.30 Football Countdowns
6.00 La Liga Highlights: Real
Madrid Memorable matches
6.15 La Liga Highlights:
Barcelona
6.30 La Liga Icons
7.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits
7.30 La Liga Greatest Games
7.40 La Liga Icons
7.55 LIVE La Liga Football:
Villarreal v Athletic Bilbao
(Kick-off 8.00) Coverage of
the Spanish top-flight clash at
Estadio de la Ceramica
Radio guide
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw
10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills
4.00 Greg James 5.45
Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 Charlie
Sloth 11.00 Huw Stephens
1.00am René LaVice 3.00 Phil
Taggart 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
10.00 SPFL Round-Up A
review of the latest round of
fixtures from the top flight
10.15 SPFL Greatest Games
Hibernian v Hearts from the
2000/01 season
10.30 MLS Round-Up Show A
review of the latest round of
Major League Soccer fixtures
11.00 Soccer AM: The Best
Bits Highlights
11.30 La Liga Icons
12.00-12.15am SPFL RoundUp Highlights
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League: Sunrisers
Hyderabad v Rajasthan
Royals The match from the
Rajiv Gandhi International
Cricket Stadium, Hyderabad
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
1.00am-4.15 LIVE WWE Late
Night Raw Wrestling action
from the States with the
over-the-top stars
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
7.15pm-9.30 LIVE Bundesliga:
RB Leipzig v Bayer
Leverkusen (Kick-off 7.30)
The German top-flight clash
from Red Bull Arena
12.30am LIVE NBA: Miami
Heat v Oklahoma City
Thunder (Tip-off 12.30)
Coverage of the interconference clash from
American Airlines Arena
3.00-5.30 LIVE NBA: Los
Angeles Clippers v New
Orleans Pelicans (Tip-off
3.30) Coverage of the
Western Conference clash
from Staples Centre
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
1.00pm-7.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Samsung Open
All the action from
Lugano, Switzerland
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
4.00pm-10.00 LIVE
WTA Tennis: The Claro Open
Colsanitas Action from
Bogota, Colombia
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Fearne Cotton 9.30 Trevor
Nelson 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 The Blues
Show with Paul Jones 8.00
Jo Whiley 10.00 Mike Batt:
By Arrangement 11.00 Jools
Holland 12.00 Johnnie Walker’s
Sounds of the 70s 2.00am
Radio 2’s Jazz Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlists
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Pachelbel
1.00pm News
1.02 Live Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert A recital from
London’s Wigmore Hall in
which the pianist Javier
Perianes performs. Chopin
(Prelude in C, Op 28 No 1;
Berceuse; Ballade No 4);
Debussy (Danseuses de
Delphes — Préludes Book 1;
Clair de lune — Suite
Bergamasques; Les sons et les
parfums tournent dans l’air du
soir — Préludes, Book 1;
La sérénade interrompue —
Préludes Book 1; and La puerta
del vino — Préludes Book 2);
and Falla (Fantasia baetica)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
A week of Afternoon Concerts
marking the 90th birthday
of the BBC NOW
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 Kate Molleson presents
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Chineke! Orchestra
opens the newly refurbished
Queen Elizabeth Hall at
London’s Southbank Centre.
Britten (Overture, The Building
of the House, Op 79); Daniel
Kidane (Dream Song —
world premiere); and
Beethoven (Symphony No 4
in B flat, Op 60)
10.00 Music Matters (r)
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir. See Choice
11.00 Jazz Now
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
Today’s picks
Chinese Characters
Radio 4, 1.45pm
The Chinese empress Wu
Zetian was quite a gal. As the
historian Rana Mitter mutedly
puts it, she was “someone you
didn’t want to get on the wrong
side of”. That’s not to say this
7th-century Chinese ruler
was all bad. She was clearly
charming and beautiful, not to
mention intelligent — she rose from concubine to empress. But
goodness she had a salty side, and you didn’t want to be her
enemy. As Mitter explains, she ordered all the limbs to be
chopped off her rivals, before she drowned them in a vat of
wine. She also expanded the Chinese empire deep into Central
Asia and engaged in a series of wars with the Korean Peninsula.
And you didn’t want to be her child either: Wu Zetian killed her
newborn baby, before framing the then empress for murder.
Mitter tells her story in this, the first of 20 programmes in
which he looks at figures from China’s history. Catherine Nixey
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
9.00 Start the Week
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Packing My Library By Alberto
Manguel. The author and
renowned bibliophile
meditates on his vast personal
book collection (1/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
At 10.45 the 15 Minute Drama:
Shelagh Stephenson’s How
Does That Make You Feel? (1/5)
11.00 Epiphanies
11.30 Ayres on the Air (4/4)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
New series. The history of
China through 20 key figures.
See Choice
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: States of Mind
— The Sky Is Wider Drama,
which imagines the inner
world of a woman who has
unresponsive wakefulness
syndrome (r)
3.00 Brain of Britain
3.30 The Food Programme (r)
4.00 Natalie Haynes Stands
Up for the Classics (r)
4.30 Beyond Belief
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Unbelievable Truth
7.00 The Archers
Freddie is confronted
7.15 Front Row
7.45 How Does That Make
You Feel? (r)
8.00 Generation Neither
8.30 Crossing Continents (r)
9.00 My Secret Wig (r)
9.30 Start the Week (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Rabbit Is Rich By John Updike.
Nelson has begun working at
the garage (6/10)
11.00 Something of the Night
Chat show (6/6)
11.30 The Digital Human (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
Radio 3, 10.45pm
There’s a bit too much in the
way of whimsy in this memoir
by the artist Harland Miller.
At one point he refers to
“accidentally drinking a bottle
of liquid LSD while on holiday
in Greece”. Now, maybe he
did drink it accidentally,
in the way that children in
the 1980s accidentally used
to drink bleach. In which case,
poor him. However, if he’s
trying to be cute, it isn’t
working. This has fleeting
interesting moments,
but on the whole a rather
strange choice by
Radio 3. CN
9.15 The Means to an End
10.00 Comedy Club:
The Unbelievable Truth 10.30
Cowards 11.00 The Now
Show 11.30 The Problem
with Adam Bloom
BBC World Service
Digital only
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 Breakfast
10.00 Emma Barnett Show
1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport
10.30 Flintoff, Savage and the
Ping Pong Guy 10.30 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
5.00am Early Breakfast 6.00
The Alan Brazil Sports
Breakfast 10.00 Jim White,
Danny Murphy and Bob Mills
1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Darren Gough
7.00 Live Kick-off 10.00
Sports Bar 1.00am Extra Time
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Hancock’s Half Hour
8.30 Flywheel, Shyster and
Flywheel 9.00 Just a Minute
9.30 King Street Junior 10.00
Jude the Obscure 11.00
Evelyn Waugh Short Stories
11.15 The Means to an End
12.00 Hancock’s Half Hour
12.30pm Flywheel, Shyster
and Flywheel 1.00 White Heat
1.30 The Art of Re-Mastering
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
Tristram Shandy 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Jude the Obscure 4.00 Just a
Minute 4.30 King Street
Junior 5.00 Millport 5.30 The
Unbelievable Truth 6.00 The
North London Book of the
Dead 6.30 A Good Read 7.00
Hancock’s Half Hour 7.30
Flywheel, Shyster and
Flywheel 8.00 White Heat
8.30 Art of Re-Mastering 9.00
Evelyn Waugh Short Stories
9.00am News 9.06 The Arts
Hour 10.00 World Update
11.00 The Newsroom 11.30
The Conversation 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 The Why
Factor 1.50 More or Less
2.00 Newshour 3.00 News
3.06 HARDtalk 3.30 Business
4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News 6.06
Outlook 7.00 The Newsroom
7.30 Sport 8.00 News 8.06
HARDtalk 8.30 Discovery
9.00 Newshour 10.00 News
10.06 The Why Factor 10.30
The Conversation 11.00 News
11.06 The Newsroom 11.20
Sports News 11.30 Business
12.00 News 12.06am The
Arts Hour 1.00 News 1.06
Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 The Why Factor 2.50
More or Less 3.00 News
3.06 BBC World Hacks
3.30 In the Studio 4.00
News 4.06 Outlook
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00
Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc
Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00
6 Music Recommends
1.00am Celluloid Jukebox
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am Breakfast 9.00
Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert
10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Sam Pittis
36 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Tuesday 10 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice Come Home
BBC One, 9pm
Anyone alarmed by Danny
Brocklehurst’s drama about
a divorcing couple lurching
into bloody domestic
violence last week can
breathe a sigh of relief. The
unnecessarily melodramatic
silliness is over, and in
tonight’s finale the action
focuses on a court battle
between Greg and Marie, as
Greg (Christopher Eccleston)
flip-flops over whether to
keep up his relationship with
the vile Brenna (Kerri Quinn).
We also finally get the full
story of why Marie (Paula
Malcomson, pictured with
Eccleston) took the drastic
action of walking out on her
husband and three children
the year before. Secrets and
lies are there to be revealed,
but this is a drama that
grapples with more
complicated emotions than
your average soap, and
should be commended for
doing so. Once again, the
narrative jumps between the
past and the present, with
flashbacks digging deeper
into Marie and Greg’s
previous life together while
the custody battle forces
them to examine the choices
they’ve made. The
revelations and reactions
from both sides of this
broken pair pull your
sympathies this way and that
— Marie’s mother emerging
as a key character in
achieving this. By the end
you may find yourself
bickering over whether
the court made the right
decision, and what will it
mean for Greg, Marie and
the kids. The acting from
all the cast, but most
conspicuously from
Eccleston and Malcomson
has been impressive, and as
with both previous episodes,
it’s a humane, sensitive
drama that manages to find
moments of tenderness in
the heat of conflict.
Alexi Duggins
Further recommendations
A wife walks out, a court battle for custody . . . Kramer vs Kramer
did it first, and is available on Netflix and Amazon Prime (to rent)
Great Indian
Railway Journeys
Class of Mum
and Dad
Made in Yorkshire
Cunk on Britain
Channel 5, 9pm
BBC Two, 10pm
BBC Two, 8pm
Channel 4, 8pm
It’s the last week of listening to
Michael Portillo introduce this
train-based travelogue by
bellowing, “I’M IN INDIA,” in
much the same tone that Dom
Joly used to announce that he
was in the middle of a phone
conversation. Shame, really.
Portillo’s obvious enthusiasm
for his subject is infectious.
He’s also at his best tonight,
with few moments where he
dresses up daftly and messes
about for laughs. Instead we
get a charming attempt to
get to grips with meditation
and a measured, insightful
analysis of British rule. AD
Given that parents haven’t
been to school in decades, how
can they appreciate what their
children go through? Memory.
Or, according to Channel 4,
setting up a special class for
parents with their own
dedicated classroom, teacher
and SATs. Participants seem
to regress instantly to the
mindset of their playground
days, variously weeping in the
toilets about the difficulty of
maths problems, announcing
themselves to be “friends”, or
fretting over sports day. Expect
plenty of attempts to tug at
your heartstrings. AD
Fronting this new series
about the factories producing
Yorkshire’s traditional foods
is a hot new presenting talent,
John Prescott. As he moves
between a 125-year-old family
chocolate business and a
sausage manufacturing plant,
his gleeful cries are delivered
with eyes so wide you’d
sometimes think he
was just about to lift the World
Cup. There are also black-andwhite segments offering
historical background,
including how the tendency
of water-packed Second
World War-era sausages to
explode earned them the
nickname bangers. AD
The rationale for Charlie
Brooker’s comically dense
creation Philomena Cunk
(Diane Morgan) is to learn the
lessons of the past so that our
nation can move forwards,
post-Brexit. The investigations
include the failures that
resulted in the Tudor police not
arresting Henry VIII after he
killed his first wife, and whether
“everything was just floating up
to the sky” before Sir Isaac
Newton discovered gravity.
Cunk also asks the big
question: was King James’s
union of Scotland and England
similar to the way Simon
Cowell brought One Direction
together?AD
Catch
up
RAF at 100 with Ewan and
Colin McGregor
BBC iPlayer
The McGregor brothers,
Ewan and Colin (Jedi
Master and former
Tornado pilot
respectively),
are celebrating
the centenary of
the Royal Air Force
by taking to the
skies in some of
the world’s most
famous planes to
tell the story of the
RAF, from
primitive aircraft made of
wood and string to jets that
can fly at twice the speed
of sound. During 90 often
thrilling minutes the brothers
experience aerial combat
at every stage of the RAF’s
history, from the dawn of
the dogfight in the First
World War, the triumph
of “the Few” in 1940
and the bravery of
the “Bomber
Boys” in the
Second World
War, taking in
Cold War aircraft
and today’s jets,
such as the
Typhoon — the
RAF’s frontline
combat aircraft.
Joe Clay
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
10.40pm Hayley 11.10 This Country 11.40
Generation Screwed? (r) 12.20am-6.00
Live Commonwealth Games 2018
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
10.00pm-10.30 Keepin ’er Country.
Singletons attend a festival dedicated to
music and romance (r) 11.15 Cunk on
Britain 11.40-12.15am Live at the Apollo (r)
● BBC1 Scotland As BBC One except:
8.00pm-9.00 River City. Annie’s life
hangs in the balance as she attempts to
escape from Lenny’s grasp 10.45 Holby
City 11.45 This Country 12.15am-6.00
Live Commonwealth Games 2018
● Channel As ITV except:
1.00am-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland
Tonight 11.05 Tonight at the London
Palladium (r) 12.05am Teleshopping
1.05 After Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen
4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.15 Love
Your Garden (r) 1.00am Teleshopping
2.30-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw: Dona Direidi (r) 6.15
Tili a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.25 Halibalw 6.35
Igam Ogam (r) 6.45 Y Brodyr Coala (r)
7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15 Sbarc (r)
7.30 Mwnci’n Dweud Mwnci’n Gwneud (r)
7.35 Ahoi 7.55 Peppa (r) 8.00 Holi Hana (r)
8.10 Amser Stori 8.15 Boj (r) 8.30 Abadas
(r) 8.40 Bla Bla Blewog (r) 8.55 Ben a Mali
a’u Byd Bach O Hud (r) 9.05 Sbridiri (r)
9.25 Meripwsan (r) 9.30 Straeon Ty Pen
(r) 9.45 Pentre Bach (r) 10.00 Dona Direidi
(r) 10.15 Tili a’i Ffrindiau (r) 10.25 Halibalw
10.35 Igam Ogam (r) 10.45 Y Brodyr Coala
(r) 11.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 11.15 Sbarc (r)
11.30 Mwnci’n Dweud Mwnci’n Gwneud
(r) 11.35 Ahoi (r) 11.55 Peppa (r) 12.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Dudley ar
Daith (r) 12.30 Yr Anialwch (r) 1.30 Only
Men Aloud (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 3.05 John ac Alun (r) 3.30 Popeth
ar Ffilm (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Larfa (r)
5.05 Stwnsh: Pigo Dy Drwyn (r) 5.30
Gwboi a Twm Twm 5.45 FI: Wembley (r)
6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 04 Wal
(r) 6.30 Rownd a Rownd 7.00 Heno
7.30 Pobol y Cwm 8.00 Ffit Cymru
9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30 Y Byd ar
Bedwar 10.00 Band Cymru 2018 (r)
11.00-11.35 Pobol y Rhondda (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
The Innocents (12, 1961)
Talking Pictures, 9pm
The Innocents creeps slowly up on the viewer. Directed by Jack
Clayton, the film’s Victorian horror comes from the deathly
atmosphere of Bly House, a crenellated country mansion where
Miss Giddens, played by Deborah Kerr, is sent to be the nanny for
two rich orphans. The children’s previous nanny and her
manservant lover met mysterious deaths. An adaptation of Henry
James’s The Turn of the Screw, the black-and-white drama cranks
up the psychological horror, and we are no longer sure whether
the innocent children are possessed by the previous occupants
or the new nanny is losing her mind. (100min) Kate Muir
Speed (15, 1994)
Film4, 9pm
Jan de Bont’s bomb-on-a-bus
thriller goes from nought to 50mph
in a matter of seconds and keeps
accelerating. The premise is simple
and highly effective: Keanu Reeves,
pictured, plays Jack Traven, a SWAT
officer who incurs the wrath of a
secretive extortionist, Howard
Payne (Dennis Hopper, on excellent, scenery-chewing form),
who uses cunningly rigged explosives to demand a ransom. After
his latest plot is foiled, Payne presents Traven with the biggest
challenge of his career — a city bus wired to blow sky high if the
speedometer drops below 50mph. Behind the wheel is Annie
Porter (Sandra Bullock), a passenger on the doomed bus.
(116min) Wendy Ide
Elysium (15, 2013)
5Star, 9pm
For his follow-up to District 9, the South African director Neill
Blomkamp revisited the theme of apartheid, although this time
the divisions are economic. It is the year 2154 and the ultra-wealthy
elite have decamped to Elysium, a giant gated suburb on a space
station, while the rest of humanity has been abandoned to its fate
on Earth, now a cross between a toxic waste dump and a global
favela. When a factory worker called Max (Matt Damon) is
exposed to a fatal dose of radiation, Elysium is his only chance for
survival. He just has to get past Jodie Foster’s steely Secretary
Delacourt — a role originally written for a male actor — the
official in charge of Elysium’s security. (109min) WI
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 37
1G R
Tuesday 10
Also available online and on tablet
Digital subscribers can now use our interactive seven-day
guide with comprehensive listings of all TV channels
thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. Clare
Balding and Gabby Logan present
further coverage on day six, featuring
various athletics finals at the Carrara
Stadium 1.00pm BBC News at One;
Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather 1.45 Doctors. The family
court judge comes to a decision
about Joni’s future 2.15 800 Words.
The septic tank in the Turner’s house
explodes 3.00 Escape to the Country.
Sonali Shah helps a South Wales
couple find a countryside home 3.45
Money for Nothing. Transforming
items reclaimed from a tip (r) 4.30
Flog It! Making a profit at auction (r)
5.15 Pointless. Quiz 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 6.55 Party Election
Broadcast. By the Labour Party
6.00am Live Commonwealth
Games 2018. Hazel Irvine presents
coverage as the sixth day, with road
cycling and netball among the sports
taking place 9.15 Oxford Street
Revealed (r) 10.00 Homes Under
the Hammer (r) 11.00 Britain’s Home
Truths (r) 11.45 Dom on the Spot.
Dominic Littlewood follows traffic
wardens Debs and Helen in Tenby,
West Wales as they hand out tickets
to illegally parked holidaymakers
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (r) 1.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. The
concluding programme of coverage
from day six, as the women’s 1500m
final takes place at Carrara Stadium
5.15 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is. Antiques experts compete
to make a profit (r) 6.00 Eggheads.
Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning. With Phillip
Schofield and Holly Willoughby
12.30pm Loose Women. Topical
debate from a female perspective
1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Regional
News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
Robert Rinder takes on real-life cases
in a studio courtroom (r) 3.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal. David Dickinson
and the team are in Rotherham,
where items include several glass
ornaments and a pastel by a member
of the Bloomsbury Set (r) 4.00
Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz (r) 5.00 The
Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley
Walsh 6.00 Regional News; Weather
6.25 Party Election Broadcast. By the
Labour Party 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (r) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r) 4.00
Escape to the Chateau: DIY. Angel
Adoree advises two Brits on how to
make their wedding business work
5.00 Four in a Bed. From Copperfields
Guest House in Kent (r) 5.30 Star Boot
Sale. The comedian Zoe Lyons is next
to sell her goods 6.00 The Simpsons.
With the voices of Lucy Lawless and
Tom Arnold (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks (r)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.10
Access. Showbiz news 1.15 Home and
Away. David takes Leah, Justine and
Ryder hostage 1.45 Neighbours. Ben
is stunned by Xanthe’s decision to
end their relationship 2.20 NCIS. A
Marine is murdered in Baghdad (r)
3.20 FILM Nightmare 911 (15, TVM,
2015) A 911 operator is fired after
mistaking a murder for a prank call,
so sets out to find the killer before
they strike again. Thriller starring
Fiona Gubelmann 5.00 5 News at 5 (r)
5.30 Neighbours. Ben is stunned by
Xanthe’s decision to end their
relationship (r) 6.00 Home and Away.
David takes Leah, Justine and Ryder
hostage (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Comedy hit, This Country (10.45pm)
Cunk with Francis Drake (10pm)
Davina McCall presents (8pm)
Class of Mum and Dad (8pm)
A visit to York Castle (10pm)
7.00 The One Show Live chat
and topical reports
6.30 Today at the Games Clare
Balding and Gabby Logan
present action from day six of
the Commonwealth Games in
Queensland, featuring various
athletics finals and swimming
7.00 Emmerdale Charity confronts
her past, while Jimmy lets his
catch up with him. Meanwhile,
Laurel faces the consequences
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 MotoGP Highlights The
MotoGP Grand Prix of
Argentina. The second round
of the season from the
Autodromo Termas de Rio
Hondo in Santiago del Estero;
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Great Indian Railway Journeys
On a journey from Lucknowh to
Kolkata, Michael Portillo charts
a course through India’s history
from the days of The East India
Company to the dawn of
independence. Last in the
series. See Viewing Guide (4/4)
8.00 This Time Next Year New
series. More participants take
on 12-month challenges,
including parents hoping to
transform their deaf baby’s life.
Davina McCall presents (1/6)
8.00 Class of Mum and Dad New
series. A class of parents
experience what it is like for
their children as they go back to
school and study the year six
curriculum alongside them.
See Viewing Guide (1/6)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm The
JLS member-turned-farmer JB
Gill helps out on a night shift.
A highland cattle farmer
reveals the efforts it takes to
tend his flock, and Gloria tours
Cannon Hall’s kitchen (2/5);
followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Hospital Cameras follow Val,
a 55-year-old mouth cancer
patient, and Dilip Srinivasan,
the surgeon fighting to see her
operation goes ahead despite
a new NHS ruling (3/6)
9.00 Last Laugh in Vegas Anita
Harris, Tommy Cannon, Jess
Conrad and Mick Miller meet a
Native American medicine man,
and Bobby Crush takes
inspiration for his act from the
Liberace Museum (2/5)
9.00 Seven Year Switch All four
couples return home, where
they must try to put what they
learned from the experiment
into practice in their day-to-day
lives. Last in the series
9.00 Made in Yorkshire John
Prescott explores Yorkshire
factories making the region’s
best loved foods on a massive
scale, beginning with a trip
from Skipton to Northallerton.
See Viewing Guide (1/2)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 Cunk on Britain The era from
Henry VIII to Horatio Nelson.
See Viewing Guide (2/5)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather;
National Lottery Update
10.45 This Country Kerry’s dad
asks for a favour, and Kurtan
has a new sense of purpose.
Last in the series
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events with Emily Maitlis
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.00 Gogglebox Capturing the
households’ instant reactions to
what they are watching on
television from the comfort of
their own sofas (r)
10.00 Secrets of the Great Yorkshire
Castle Dan Jones explores the
history of York Castle, built on
the orders of William the
Conqueror and once the
regional seat of British
government (3/6) (r)
11.15 Generation Screwed? George
Lamb hears from people
who have been left out of
mainstream media debates (r)
11.15 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond
the Lobby Giles Coren and
Monica Galetti work in Ireland’s
Ashford Castle, founded 800
years ago by the Anglo-Norman
De Burgo family (4/6) (r)
11.15 Heroes and Villains: Caught
on Camera Cameras follow a
great-grandfather as he fights
off armed intruders at his home,
and carers caught stealing from
their patients (3/6) (r)
11.05 One Born Every Minute
Sharnee, who is 25, and
27-year-old Dan await the arrival
of their first child together, and
after trying for seven years to
conceive, Pat and Jo arrive on
the ward to be induced (5/10) (r)
11.05 The Great Yorkshire Bridge
Rob Bell tells the story of the
Humber Bridge, which from
1981 to 1998 was the longest
single-span suspension bridge
in the world (6/6) (r)
12.15am The Super League Show 1.00
Sign Zone: Great British Railway
Journeys (r) (SL) 1.30 MasterChef (r)
(SL) 2.00 Murder, Mystery and My
Family (r) (SL) 2.45 Celebrity Antiques
Road Trip (r) (SL) 3.45 Weather for the
Week Ahead 3.50 BBC News
12.10am The Durrells. Larry goes to
Athens on a short trip, and returns
with a royal guest (r) 1.00 Jackpot247.
Viewers get the chance to participate
in live interactive gaming 3.00 Loose
Women (r) 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05
The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.05am Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
12.55 The Island with Bear Grylls (r)
(SL) 1.50 The Supervet (r) 2.45
Britain’s Diesel Scandal: Dispatches (r)
3.15 George Clarke’s Old House, New
Home (r) 4.10 Building the Dream (r)
5.05 The Question Jury (r)
12.05am Housing Yorkshire:
Somewhere Called Home (r) 1.00
SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (r) 4.00 My Mum’s Hotter Than
Me! (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL)
5.10 Great Scientists (r) (SL) 5.35
Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
7.30 EastEnders Hunter is upset
after hearing his mum and
Phil talking about their past
8.00 Holby City A revelation about
Gaskell forces Roxanna to
choose where her loyalties lie,
and still on probation, Ric risks
his job to save a familiar face
.00 Come Home As Greg and Marie
hurtle towards a court case,
flashbacks reveal more about
their life together. Last in the
series. See Viewing Guide (3/3)
11.55 Live Commonwealth Games
2018 JJ Chalmers introduces
live coverage of day seven, with
England facing New Zealand in
the pool stage of the netball
competition, Wales taking on
Malaysia in the women’s
hockey, and the women’s 3m
synchronised diving final
10.45 The Cruise: Sailing the
Caribbean Life on board the
Royal Princess during a season
around the Caribbean (1/3) (r)
38 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Saturda
Gotham
Tuesday 10 | Primetime digital guide
The heroes and villains
of the dark Batman
prequel saga return
E4, 9pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
Exploring the Okavango
Delta in Botswana (R)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended highlights
from day six of the Games,
with various athletics finals
taking centre stage
9.00 The Story of the Jews
Simon Schama examines
the struggle of medieval
Jews to preserve their
identity under Christian
and Islamic rulers (R)
10.00 Majesty and Mortar:
Britain’s Great Palaces The
history, magic and mystery
behind royal palaces (R)
11.00 Chivalry and Betrayal: The
Hundred Years War The
conflict between England
and France (R)
12.00-1.00am Francesco’s Italy
Top to Toe Francesco da
Mosto explores Florence
with Maggie Smith (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote Sheriff
Metzger asks Jessica to help
clear his no-good younger
brother, who finds himself in
a compromising position
and stands accused of
murdering his boss (R)
8.00 Midsomer Murders A fatal
explosion proves a difficult
case for Barnaby, whose
suspects include several
Territorial Army soldiers, a
ruthless businessman and a
grieving mother (R)
10.00 Scott & Bailey Called to the
home of an elderly couple,
Janet makes a gruesome
discovery, while Rachel
starts to feel claustrophobic
in her marriage (R)
11.00-12.05am Scott & Bailey In a
retrospective episode set
after the events of series
two, Rachel and Sean get
married, Janet and Ade split
up and a businessman is
suspected of murder (R)
6.55pm The Secret Life of the Zoo
Elderly one-eyed South
African porcupine Roxy is
introduced to a younger
male in the hope that she
will find companionship (R)
7.55 Grand Designs Kevin
McCloud meets Cheryl and
Alex Reay, who hope to
rebuild their medieval
cottage in Hampshire after it
was ravaged by fire (R)
9.00 My Floating Home New
series. Mark Evans meets
people who aspire to live on
water, beginning with a
Southampton man planning
a floating fibreglass home
10.00 Millionaires’ Mansions:
Designing Britain’s Most
Exclusive Homes The
private world of luxury
interior design in London (R)
11.05-12.10am 24 Hours in A&E
A retired builder is treated
after falling from his
daughter’s roof (R)
6.25pm FILM Battleship (12, 2012)
American naval vessels go
into battle against an
invading fleet of powerful
alien spaceships. Sci-fi
adventure with Taylor
Kitsch, Liam Neeson and
Alexander Skarsgård
9.00 FILM Speed (15, 1994) An
LAPD cop discovers a
psychotic criminal has
planted a bomb on a
crowded bus, primed to go
off if the vehicle drops
below 50mph. Action thriller
starring Keanu Reeves,
Sandra Bullock and Dennis
Hopper. See Film Choice
11.15-1.10am FILM I Give It a Year
(15, 2013) A couple marry
after a whirlwind romance,
but as their first anniversary
approaches, they both
begin to wonder if they are
right for each other.
Romantic comedy starring
Rose Byrne and Rafe Spall
7.00pm The Simpsons Homer tries
to smuggle medication into
the country (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Moe’s bar is
threatened with closure (R)
8.00 The Flash A meta
accidentally transfers
Barry’s powers to Iris during
a fight, and she finds herself
speeding to save the city
from a new threat
9.00 The Blacklist Liz and
Singleton try to find out who
has been feeding insider
information to Tom’s killer
10.00 A League of Their Own
Sports-based comedy quiz
with Daniel Ricciardo, Rob
Beckett and Judy Murray (R)
11.00 The Force: North East A trail
of blood leaves officers
puzzled, and a domestic
fight leads to an arrest (R)
12.00-1.00am Air Ambulance ER A
boy is knocked down by a
car, resulting in a serious
head injury (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A serial killer
preys on victims who share
a birthday, and a judge may
have a sinister secret (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods The crime
family Jamie infiltrated
orders the assassination of
Jimmy Riordan, his
undercover alias (R)
9.00 Here and Now Audrey turns
the tables on Greg, Ramon
and Duc look to Carmen
for enlightenment, and
Kristen plots revenge
10.10 Divorce Frances jumps at
the opportunity to make a
new contact in the art world
10.45 Crashing Pete decides to
organise a secret benefit for
an ailing comedy veteran
11.20 SMILF Bridge, Eliza and
Larry spend a day searching
for Bridge’s towed car (R)
11.55-12.30am SMILF Bridgette
matches with her estranged
father on a dating app (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold A Gordon Brown lookalike
has an accident at the fairground
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 FILM Fast & Furious 7
(12, 2015) A rogue special forces
assassin seeks revenge against
Dom, Brian and their crew for
putting his brother in a coma.
Action thriller sequel starring
Vin Diesel and Paul Walker
11.40-12.15am Family Guy
7.00pm Pawn Stars
7.30 Pawn Stars
8.00 River Monsters
9.00 FILM Rambo: First Blood Part
II (15, 1985) John Rambo returns to
the jungles of Vietnam to rescue
American PoWs. Action adventure
sequel starring Sylvester Stallone
11.05-1.10am FILM Conan the
Destroyer (15, 1984) The
sword-wielding warrior embarks
on a quest to find a mystical
artefact. Fantasy adventure sequel
starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
7.00pm Hollyoaks
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers
8.00 The Big Bang Theory: A Dark
Knight Sheldon forms a quiz team
8.30 The Big Bang Theory: A Dark
Knight Adam West guest stars
9.00 Gotham New series of the
Batman prequel saga.
Commissioner James Gordon fears
Jonathan Crane is still alive
10.00 FILM Underworld: Rise of
the Lycans (18, 2009) Fantasy
horror prequel with Michael Sheen
11.45-12.15am The Big Bang Theory
7.00pm Last Man Standing
7.30 Last Man Standing
8.00 Car Crash TV
9.00 FILM Elysium (15, 2013) A
man living in poverty on a ruined
Earth fights to gain access to a
space station inhabited by a
wealthy elite. Sci-fi thriller starring
Matt Damon. See Film Choice
11.10-1.15am FILM Resident Evil (15,
2002) A top-secret research facility
is overrun by hordes of zombies.
Sci-fi action horror starring Milla
Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez
6.35pm FILM Scarlet Web (15,
1954) An insurance investigator is
framed for murder. Crime drama
with John Griffith and Hazel Court
7.50 Glimpses: Memories of
Hoxton in the 1950s
8.00 Gideon’s Way
9.00 FILM The Innocents (12, 1961)
A governess suspects orphans are
under an evil influence. Horror with
Deborah Kerr. See Film Choice
11.00-12.35am FILM The House on
Haunted Hill (12, 1959) Horror with
Vincent Price and Richard Long
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Howard takes Pearl and Marina out
to dinner at the same time
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Truly, Clegg and Alvin tell a sci-fi
fanatic that aliens have landed
8.00 The Inspector Lynley
Mysteries The case against a
criminal is thrown into jeopardy
10.00 New Tricks A former Irish
dissident sheds light on the
abduction of a woman in 1983
11.20 Birds of a Feather
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Deep Wreck Mysteries
The remains of the SS Leopoldville
8.00 Full Steam Ahead The
dangers involved in working
on the Victorian railways
9.00 One Foot in the Grave
Victor consults a solicitor
9.40 One Foot in the Grave
Margaret comes into money
10.20 One Foot in the Grave
A job offer leads to disaster
11.00 Porridge The inmates face a
day of hard labour on moorland
11.40-12.20am Porridge
7.00pm Police Interceptors
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
9.00 World’s Deadliest Weather:
Caught on Camera Destruction
caused by severe weather
10.00 Undercover: Nailing the
Fraudsters The problem of
landlords committing benefit fraud
11.00-1.35am FILM The Punisher
(18, 2004) An FBI agent becomes a
vigilante and takes revenge on the
powerful gangland kingpin who
murdered his entire family. Comicbook thriller starring Thomas Jane
7.00pm QI XL With Jimmy Carr,
Aisling Bea and Danny Bhoy
8.00 Scrappers Terry decides to
throw an open day
8.30 Scrappers Terry and Lyndsay
Walker head off on a luxury holiday
9.00 Would I Lie to You? at
Christmas With Ray Winstone,
Josh Widdicombe and Rachel Riley
9.40 Would I Lie to You?
10.20 Would I Lie to You? The
Unseen Bits Extra material
11.00 Live at the Apollo
12.00-12.40am QI
6.50pm The Charge of the Light
Brigade A reassessment of the
ill-fated military advance
7.55 Code-Breakers: Bletchley
Park’s Lost Heroes A wartime
project to unravel the secrets of
Hitler’s personal code machine
9.00 The Gilded Age America
during the closing decades
of the 19th century
10.15 Jazz The creation of a new,
mellow sound called cool jazz
11.35-12.50am Code-Breakers:
Bletchley Park’s Lost Heroes
7.00pm The Summer of Love The
story of the cultural, social and
political changes of 1967
8.00 Portrait Artist of the Year
2017 With the sitters Sue Perkins,
Richard E Grant and Nina Sosanya
9.00 The Nineties More of the
decade’s most memorable shows
10.00 Discovering: Maximilian
Schell The life and career of the
Swiss film and stage actor
11.00 Elvis: The Final Hours
12.00-12.30am Urban Myths:
Muhammad Ali Comedy
7.00pm The Real A&E A 12-yearold boy is rushed to A&E
8.00 Elementary Holmes searches
for a killer in a hospital
9.00 Chicago Fire The firefighters
struggle to come to terms with an
injury to one of their own
10.00 How to Get Away with
Murder Detectives get a break
involving Simon’s case
11.00 Criminal Minds
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A flash flood
uncovers two mysteries
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 Wolf Creek Mick drugs the
tourists, who wake up in the middle
of the Outback with no phone
11.10 Family Guy
11.40-12.10am Family Guy
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
9.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
10.00 Running Wild with Bear
Grylls Sterling K Brown joins Bear
11.00 Fast N’ Loud
12.00-1.00am Gold Rush: Parker’s
Trail Parker is injured by an
out-of-control water hose
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
8.00 One Strange Rock How life
on Earth is protected from the sun
9.00 Drain the Titanic
10.00 Rosetta: Comet Landing
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Strippers: Cars for
Cash The teams track down an
MGB GT and a Mazda MX-5
7.00pm Friends
7.30 Friends
8.00 The Middle
8.30 Life in Pieces
9.00 FILM Bring It On (12, 2000)
Comedy starring Kirsten Dunst
11.00 The Chris Ramsey Show
11.30 Impractical Jokers
12.00-12.30am Impractical Jokers
7.00pm You Rang, M’Lord?
8.00 Dad’s Army
8.40 Only Fools and Horses
9.20 Mrs Brown’s Boys
10.00 Bridget & Eamon Bridget
joins the local camogie team
10.35 Gimme Gimme Gimme
11.15 Gimme Gimme Gimme
11.55-12.55am Live at the Apollo
7.00pm My Dream Home
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Who Do You Think You Are?
USA With the actor Noah Wyle
10.00 999 Rescue Squad The
HART staff must treat one of their
own after a freak accident
11.00 Gavin & Stacey
11.40-12.20am Gavin & Stacey
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.00pm Maudie (12, 2016) An
artistic housekeeper becomes a
beloved figure in her community.
Romantic drama starring Sally
Hawkins and Ethan Hawke
8.00 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Thieves attempt a major
heist. Thriller starring Toby Kebbell
9.50 Double Date (15, 2017) Two
friends meet beautiful sisters with
a hidden agenda. Comedy thriller
starring Danny Morgan
11.30-1.40am Rough Stuff (2017)
Adventure starring Gareth Rickards
6.10pm Sweet Home Alabama
(12, 2002) A New York fashion
designer returns to her home town.
Comedy starring Reese
Witherspoon and Josh Lucas
8.00 Blade Runner: Theatrical
Version (15, 1982) A former cop in
a future Los Angeles is forced to
return to duty. Sci-fi thriller starring
Harrison Ford and Rutger Hauer
10.00-12.30am Bad Boys II (15,
2003) Undercover cops set out to
stop a drug lord. Comedy thriller
sequel starring Will Smith
6.20pm Despicable Me 3 (U, 2017)
Animated sequel with the voice of
Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig
8.00 The Incredibles (U, 2004)
Animated adventure, with the
voices of Craig T Nelson, Holly
Hunter and Samuel L Jackson
10.00 Louis & Luca: The Big
Cheese Race (U, 2015) Animation
with the voice of John F Brungot
11.25-1.10am Meet the Robinsons
(U, 2007) Animated adventure
featuring the voice of Angela
Bassett and Tom Selleck
5.15pm Spider-Man 2 (PG, 2004)
Personal troubles tempt Peter
Parker into giving up fighting
crime. Comic-book adventure
starring Tobey Maguire
7.30 Spider-Man 3 (12, 2007) An
alien parasite brings out the
crimefighter’s dark side. Superhero
sequel with Tobey Maguire
10.00-12.20am Spider-Man:
Homecoming (12, 2017) Peter
Parker must protect New York City
from a menacing new villain. With
Tom Holland and Michael Keaton
6.00pm Breakfast at Tiffany’s
(PG, 1961) Romantic comedy
starring Audrey Hepburn, George
Peppard and Mickey Rooney
8.00 The Italian Job (PG, 1969)
A crook recruits a gang to steal
$4million in gold bullion. Crime
comedy starring Michael Caine
9.45 Psycho (15, 1960) Hitchcock
thriller starring Anthony Perkins,
Janet Leigh and Vera Miles
11.45-1.35am The French
Connection (18, 1971) Fact-based
crime thriller with Gene Hackman
Audrey Hepburn’s Holly
Golightly and friend in Breakfast
at Tiffany’s (Sky Classics, 6pm)
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 39
1G R
Tuesday 10
Sports guide
Live Football
BT Sport 2, 7pm
Radio guide
Radio 1
Manchester City and Liverpool
meet at the Etihad for the
second-leg of their Champions
League quarter-final. The Reds
blew Pep Guardiola’s side away
in the first-leg at Anfield,
running out 3-0 winners, with
a 25-yard screamer from Alex
Oxlade-Chamberlain, pictured,
the pick of the goals. In tonight’s
other match, Barcelona have
a comfortable 4-1 lead as they
take on Roma at the Stadio
Olimpico (BT Sport 3, 7pm). JC
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Greg James 7.00 Annie Mac
9.00 Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Annie
Nightingale 3.00 Radio 1
Comedy: Scott & Chris 4.00
Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
10.00am PL Daily
11.00 Sky Sports Daily
11.30 Sportswomen
12.00 Sky Sports News
3.00pm LIVE Indian Premier
League: Chennai Super Kings
v Kolkata Knight Riders
Coverage of the match from
the MA Chidambaram
Stadium in Chennai
7.30 LIVE EFL: Aston Villa v
Cardiff City (Kick-off 7.45)
The Championship clash
between the promotion
hopefuls at Villa Park
10.15 The Debate
11.15 Revista De La Liga
12.00-6.00am News
Sky Sports Premier
League
6.00 SPFL Round-Up
6.15 SPFL Greatest Games
6.30 MLS Round-Up Show
7.00 Revista De La Liga
7.30 LIVE EFL: Aston Villa v
Cardiff City (Kick-off 7.45)
The Championship clash
between the promotion
hopefuls at Villa Park
10.15 The Debate
11.15 Revista De La Liga
11.45-12.15am La Liga World
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League: Chennai
Super Kings v Kolkata Knight
Riders Coverage of the match
from the MA Chidambaram
Stadium in Chennai
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
10.00am PL Daily
11.00 The Debate
12.00 Soccer AM: The
Best Bits Highlights
12.30pm PL Greatest Games
1.00 PL Review
2.00 PL Best Goals 13/14
3.00 PL Highlights
5.00 PL Best Goals 13/14
6.00 PL Review
7.00 Soccer Special PreMatch Major talking points
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special
10.00 PL Greatest Games
10.15 The Debate
11.15-12.15am PL Review
1.00am-3.00 LIVE WWE
Late Night Smackdown
Spectacular wrestling action
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
4.00pm-10.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Claro Open
Colsanitas All the action
from Bogota, Colombia
1.00am LIVE NBA:
Washington Wizards v
Boston Celtics (Tip-off 1.00)
3.30-6.00 LIVE NBA: Los
Angeles Lakers v Houston
Rockets (Tip-off 3.30)
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
9.00am Revista De La Liga
9.30 Eredivisie Round-Up
10.30 Soccer AM: The
Best Bits Highlights
11.00 One2Eleven:
Paul Gascoigne
11.15 One2Eleven: Ryan Giggs
11.30 SPFL Greatest Games
12.00 SPFL Round-Up
12.15pm SPFL Greatest
Games Memorable matches
12.30 MLS Round-Up Show
1.00 La Liga Icons
2.00 Eredivisie Round-Up
3.00 Football’s Greatest
Players Alessandro Del Piero
3.30 Football’s Greatest
Teams Real Madrid
4.00 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games The 1997/98 season
4.30 La Liga Greatest Games
5.00 Revista De La Liga
5.30 Football Countdowns
7.00pm-10.30 LIVE UEFA
Champions League:
Manchester City v Liverpool
(Kick-off 7.45) Coverage of
the action from the quarterfinal second-leg encounter
at the Etihad Stadium
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
9.30am-3.30pm LIVE WTA
Tennis The Samsung Open in
Lugano, Switzerland
4.30-6.30 LIVE WTA Tennis
Further coverage
from the Samsung Open in
Lugano, Switzerland
7.00-10.30 LIVE UEFA
Champions League: AS Roma
v Barcelona (Kick-off 7.45)
The quarter-final second-leg
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Fearne Cotton 9.30 Trevor
Nelson 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 Jamie
Cullum 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00
Blood on the Tracks. Four
music obsessives debate and
argue about their favourite
tracks 11.00 Nigel Ogden: The
Organist Entertains. Wurlitzer
sounds from Blackpool’s Tower
Ballroom 11.30 Listen to the
Band 12.00 Sounds of the 80s
(r) 2.00am Radio 2’s Folk
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Pachelbel
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Beethoven
(Allegretto in B flat, WoO 39);
and Mozart (Serenade in B flat
for 13 winds, K361)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Sibelius (Finlandia, Op 26);
Rachmaninov (Piano Concerto
No 2 in C minor, Op 18);
Hoddinott (Welsh Dances —
Suite No 1, Op 15); Elgar
(Variations on an original
theme, Op 36 — Enigma);
and Elgar (Symphony No 1
in A flat, Op 55)
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 A selection of
performances from the
percussion category finalists
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Mason Bates (Mothership);
James Newton Howard
(Suite — The Hunger Games);
Bernstein (Symphonic Dances
— West Side Story); and John
Williams (Suite — Star Wars)
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Late Junction
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
Today’s picks
The Second Genome
Radio 4, 11am
“Let’s make it clear,” says
the BBC health and science
correspondent, James
Gallagher, pictured. “You don’t
know anything about my life
except the read-out of my
faecal sample.” This unusual
chit-chat has come about
because Gallagher has sent a
faecal sample to Professor Tim Spector’s British Gut Project.
This is not merely a personal quirk. He has done it because
of a fundamental (as it were) shift taking place in the way we
understand our bodies. The old view, that humans are a
biological fortress under siege from nasty microbes, is being
turned on its head. Numbers alone hint that it can’t be that
simple: for every single human cell we contain just as many
microbial cells. So it’s not us versus them, but us and them. The
genetic make-up of your microbiome can affect everything
from what diseases you catch to your mood. Catherine Nixey
9.00 The Long View
9.30 Nature’s Great Invaders
Documentary (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Packing My Library By Alberto
Manguel (2/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
At 10.45 Drama: How Does
That Make You Feel? by
Shelagh Stephenson (2/5)
11.00 The Second Genome.
See Choice
11.30 The Voices of
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 Call You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: States of Mind
By Jane Rogers. A woman
struggles to connect with her
mother, who is in a state of
unresponsive wakefulness (r)
3.00 The Kitchen Cabinet (r)
3.30 Costing the Earth
4.00 Word of Mouth
4.30 Great Lives
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Love in Recovery (r)
7.00 The Archers Pat helps a
friend in need
7.15 Front Row
7.45 How Does That Make
You Feel? (r)
8.00 Meeting the Man I Killed
Jonathan Izard discusses
the fatal road traffic accident
that changed his life
8.40 In Touch
9.00 Inconspicuous
Consumption (r)
9.30 The Long View (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Rabbit Is Rich By John Updike.
A pregnant Pru falls down
some stairs at a party, but
was she pushed?
11.00 Richard Marsh:
Cardboard Heart (r)
11.30 The Digital Human (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 Breakfast
10.00 The Emma Barnett
Show with Clare McDonnell
1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport:
Champions League Football
2017-18 10.30 Adrian
Goldberg 1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast 10.00 Jim
White, Micky Gray and Bob
Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Darren Gough
7.00 Live Kick-off. Barcelona v
AS Roma 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Ken Dodd Show
8.30 The Men from the
Ministry 9.00 The Now Show
9.30 Stilgoe’s Around 10.00
Jude the Obscure 11.00
Evelyn Waugh Short Stories
11.15 People Come Here to Cry
12.00 The Ken Dodd Show
12.30pm The Men from the
Ministry 1.00 White Heat
1.30 The Days of Take It From
Here 2.00 The Essex Serpent
2.15 Disability: A New History
2.30 Tristram Shandy 2.45 On
Her Majesty’s Secret Service
3.00 Jude the Obscure 4.00
It’s Not What You Know 4.30
Ballylenon 5.00 Arrested
Development 5.30 Love in
Recovery 6.00 The Scarifyers:
The King of Winter 6.30
Pioneers 7.00 The Ken
Dodd Show 7.30 The Men
from the Ministry 8.00 White
Heat 8.30 The Days of Take It
From Here 9.00 Evelyn
Waugh Short Stories 9.15
People Come Here to Cry
The Documentary: Lusaka
Fire and Rescue
World Service, 10.06pm
Imagine your dilemma.
You’re a woefully
overstretched fire service.
You operate in a city the
size of Paris. Yet where
Paris has more than 80
fire stations, you have just
one. And even that is
underfunded. So how do you
make money? The solution
that the Lusaka fire and
rescue service in Zambia have
alighted on is brilliant: they fill
up swimming pools for cash.
“Then we count the trips” —
tot up the cost — and serve
the bill. Brilliant, albeit
not ideal, admittedly. CN
10.00 Comedy Club: Love in
Recovery 10.30 Sleepy Tigers
11.00 ElvenQuest 11.30 The
Lawrence Sweeney Mix
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The
Forum 9.50 Sporting Witness
10.00 World Update 11.00
The Newsroom 11.30 In the
Studio 12.00 News 12.06pm
Outlook 1.00 The Newsroom
1.30 The Documentary 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06
BBC World Hacks 3.30
Business 4.00 BBC OS 6.00
News 6.06 Outlook 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 BBC World
Hacks 8.30 Click 9.00
Newshour 10.00 News
10.06 The Documentary. See
Choice 10.30 In the Studio
11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.20 Sports News
11.30 Business 12.00 News
12.06am The Forum 12.50
Sporting Witness 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 The Documentary
3.00 News 3.06 HARDtalk
3.30 The Compass 4.00
News 4.06 Outlook
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00
Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc
Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00
Tom Ravenscroft 1.00am The
Celluloid Jukebox
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am Breakfast 9.00
Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert.
Includes pieces by Rossini
and Elgar 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
40 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Wednesday 11 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice Bacchus Uncovered:
Ancient God of Ecstasy
BBC Four, 9pm
It would be almost impossible
to make a dull programme
about Bacchus, the Roman
god of wine, fertility and
ecstasy. With subject matter
this colourful and a budget
that allows Bettany Hughes,
pictured, to travel between
the UK, Greece, the Middle
East and the Caucasus
to weave her
tale, the god
“worshipped in
heady, orgiastic
rituals” gets the
documentary he
deserves. The
origins of Bacchus
are found in Greek
myth, where he was known as
Dionysus. He came into being
when Zeus had his wicked
way with a mortal woman.
Zeus’s wife was a bit miffed
about this and the woman was
burnt to a crisp, but Zeus
saved their unborn child,
Dionysus, and carried him
overseas, where he was reared
by nymphs and goat-legged
satyrs. With a smooth chin,
flowing locks and, in some
artistic depictions, breasts,
Dionysus was transgender. He
was “the party god supreme”,
celebrated in many festivals,
which were always
accompanied by
copious amounts
of wine (Hughes
discovers that an
ancient drinking
game is still
carried out in the
bars of Athens),
merriment and
carnal pursuits. He
lives on today — Hughes
attends a truly bizarre festival
on the Greek island of Skyros,
where the god is still
celebrated, and finds his
presence on the streets of
Soho, in the counterculture of
the 1960s and the philosophy
of Nietzsche. Joe Clay
Further recommendations
Andrew Graham Dixon’s Art of Spain, travelling from the Moorish
south to the mystical north is on BBC iPlayer (ep 1 expires today)
1945-1953: World
War To Cold War
The Vietnam War
Yesterday, 8pm
Ken Burns and Lynn Novick’s
ten-part Vietnam War opus was
shown on BBC Four last year.
Now here comes the 18-hour
director’s cut, as PBS America
runs it in full for the first time in
the UK. As well as digitally
remastered historical footage
and photography, there are
interviews with more than 60
people who were involved in
the conflict, including members
of the US army, the CIA, the
Viet Cong and the North
Vietnamese Army. All sides are
unanimous. “Who won and
who lost, that is not a
question,” says Bao Ninh, once
of the NVA. “There is only
destruction.” Chris Bennion
In February 1945, with the Nazis
on the brink of defeat,
Churchill, Stalin and Roosevelt
met in the Crimea. The Yalta
Conference was where the
Allies achieved an accord that
was supposed to preserve the
values they had fought for for
six years. However, only a few
months later, nothing would
remain of the agreement.
United when fighting Nazi
Germany, the Allies became
rivals in peace, and this
two-parter uses archive
footage and testimonies to
examine what really happened
during that week in Crimea. JC
Catch
up
Football’s Foreign
Legion
ITV Hub, to April 27
In 1978 Tottenham
Hotspur made a
double swoop for
Ossie Ardiles and
Ricky Villa, who
had just helped
Argentina to beat
Holland in the World
Cup final. “Spurs Scoop
the World,” ran the
headline on the back
of the Daily Express.
Forty years on, this
entertaining
PBS America, 9pm
documentary, narrated by
Todd Carty (aka Grange
Hill’s Tucker Jenkins),
catches up with some of
those trailblazing
players who led the
influx of foreign
footballers into English
football. “A lot of people
said to me, ‘No, Ossie,
don’t go to England
because they don’t
really play football,’ ”
Ardiles recalls. “But I
thought, ‘We will see
about that.’ ” It wasn’t
all one-way traffic,
with Kevin Keegan
heading to
Germany, where
he became a star
on and off the
pitch. Joe Clay
The Assassination
of Gianni Versace
First Dates
BBC Two, 9pm
“We come in many different
flavours,” says the maître
d’amour, Fred Sirieix, “and
we should be open to
experimenting.” This line sets
up an episode featuring some
unusual flavour combinations.
Lee, 33, loves to rap and wants
to hang up his party hat. Will
32-year-old Abbi, who hates
going out and doesn’t drink
alcohol, be his cup of tea?
There’s a meeting of minds
between self-confessed
“savage bitch” and Maggie
Thatcher fan Cameron, 22, and
law student Joe, 24, while 4ft
7in septuagenarian Deanna
arrives weighed down with
gifts for Fred. JC
Having been conspicuous by
his absence, as the drama
focused on the story arc of his
murderer, we finally spend
time with the fashion designer
(Edgar Ramírez). It’s 1992 and
Versace has ear cancer. He is
insistent that Donatella
(Penélope Cruz) assumes
control of the company in case
he dies. The tragedy is that he
would beat cancer, but die
anyway. Meanwhile, we follow
the delusional Andrew
Cunanan (Darren Criss) from
his impoverished origins in San
Diego to his first steps to
becoming an escort. JC
Channel 4, 10pm
Variations
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm The Top Table. New series.
Young people come to the Top Table to
face down our politicians in an exciting
audience debate show, presented by
Stephen Nolan 11.40 A Question of Sport
12.10am Annie: Out of the Ashes (r)
1.00-6.00 Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Day eight of the Games
● Channel As ITV except:
12.35am-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland
Tonight 11.05 Uefa Champions League
Highlights. Action from the quarter-final
second-leg matches 12.05am
Teleshopping 1.05 After Midnight
2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The Jeremy
Kyle Show (r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 12.35am
Teleshopping 2.05-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen
(r) 6.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty
Mel (r) 7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15 Heini
(r) 7.30 Digbi Draig (r) 7.40 Sam Tân (r)
7.50 Sblij a Sbloj (r) 8.00 Cymylaubychain
(r) 8.15 Cegin Cyw (r) 8.20 Cwpwrdd Cadi
(r) 8.30 Cled (r) 8.45 Marcaroni (r)
9.00 Dwylo’r Enfys (r) 9.15 Stiw (r)
9.25 Oli Dan y Don (r) 9.35 Nodi (r) 9.45
Tecwyn y Tractor (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul (r)
10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Meic y Marchog (r)
11.15 Heini (r) 11.30 Digbi Draig (r) 11.40
Sam Tân (r) 11.50 Sblij a Sbloj (r) 12.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Crwydro
(r) 12.30 TBA 1.30 Garddio a Mwy (r) 2.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Pengelli
(r) 3.30 Pobol y Glannau (r) 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Larfa (r) 5.05 Boom!
5.15 Dennis a Dannedd (r) 5.25 Lois yn
Erbyn Anni (r) 5.35 Fi yw’r Bos (r) 6.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Her yr
Hinsawdd (r) 6.30 Mwy o Sgorio. Crystal
Palace fan Lois Angharad joins Dylan
Ebenezer and Owain Tudur Jones 7.00
Heno 7.30 Pobol y Cwm. Garry makes an
important decision, and Chester and
Hannah’s loved up attitude gets on Mark’s
nerves in the cafe flat 8.25 Celwydd
Noeth. Last in the series 9.00 News 9 a’r
Tywydd 9.30 Ar Werth 10.00 Josh
Griffiths: Mr Marathon (r) 10.30 Galw Nain
Nain Nain (r) 11.05-11.35 TBA
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
Look Back in Anger (PG, 1958)
Talking Pictures, 9pm
Richard Burton’s casting as the angry young man Jimmy Porter
has generally been seen as a misstep. While Tony Richardson
wanted to keep Kenneth Haigh, who played Porter with aplomb in
Richardson’s Royal Court production of John Osborne’s play, the
money men wanted someone with a name. Thus, Burton, too old,
too handsome, too physically imposing for Porter, took the role.
However, there is pleasure in seeing a great British actor in one of
the great British roles. Mary Ure remained from the stage as his
wife, Alison, while Claire Bloom is the bourgeois Helena, to whom
Porter takes an instant dislike. (97min) Chris Bennion
Wanderlust (15, 2012)
Channel 4, 1.30am
This is much more traditional
Paul Rudd territory than his
unexpected foray into
superheroics via Ant-Man. Having
just climbed on to the property
ladder, George (Rudd) loses his
job, and his wife, Linda (Jennifer
Aniston, pictured with Rudd), fails
to sell her documentary. In one day the couple are priced out of
their New York life. They decide to stay with George’s brother,
but along the way the couple crash out in a B&B with a
difference. Elysium is a New Age collective full of joy and wind
chimes. George and Linda start to think that this is a place
where they could make a life for themselves. While George
harbours doubts, Linda sheds her inhibitions and her bra.
Savagely funny. (96min) Wendy Ide
Stuck in Love (15, 2012)
Film4, 12.45am
The indie domestic drama Stuck in Love is set in the world of
literary aristocracy. Divorcé Bill Borgens (Greg Kinnear) is a
prizewinning novelist; his daughter Samantha (Lily Collins) has just
had her first book published; his son Rusty (Nat Wolff) is an
aspiring writer. The writer/director Josh Boone overlays chunks of
their writing on screen as an introduction to each character. Bill is
a romantic who still believes that his former wife, Erica (Jennifer
Connelly), will return to the beachfront home they shared, but she
has remarried, to a beefy gym owner. For all the references to
great American writers, the plot is pedestrian. (97min) WI
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 41
1G R
Wednesday 11
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BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. Further
coverage on the seventh day in
Queensland, featuring athletics,
netball and diving 1.00pm BBC News
at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 1.45 Doctors. Ayesha
struggles to deal with Valerie’s
insomnia 2.15 800 Words. Gossip
about what happened to George’s late
wife has taken over the town 3.00
Escape to the Country. A couple
search for a country home in Dorset
(r) 3.45 Money for Nothing. Salvaging
three items from the recycling centre
in Witley, Surrey (r) 4.30 Flog It!
Making a profit at auction 5.15
Pointless. Quiz show 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 6.55 Party Political
Broadcast. By the Liberal Democrats
6.00am Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Day seven of the Games
continues in Queensland, with netball
and men’s hockey among the sports
taking place 9.15 Oxford Street
Revealed (r) 10.00 Homes Under
the Hammer (r) 11.00 Britain’s Home
Truths (r) 11.45 Dom on the Spot
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (r) 1.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. The
concluding programme of live
coverage on day seven, as the
women’s 10m synchronised diving
final takes place 5.15 Put Your Money
Where Your Mouth Is. Eric Knowles
and Danny Sebastian face off at
an auction in Somerset (r) 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by
Jeremy Vine 6.30 Today at the
Games. Highlights of the seventh
day of the Commonwealth Games
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose
Women. Featuring an interview with
Alex Hollywood 1.30 ITV News;
Weather 1.55 Regional News; Weather
2.00 Judge Rinder. Robert Rinder as
he takes on real-life cases in a studio
courtroom (r) 3.00 Dickinson’s Real
Deal. From Denbigh, where James
Layte examines one of the most
bizarre objects the show has ever
seen, and Helen Gardiner discovers
a herd of Royal Doulton animals (r)
4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard
hosts the arcade-themed quiz show
(r) 5.00 The Chase. Quiz show hosted
by Bradley Walsh 6.00 Regional
News; Weather 6.25 Party Election
Broadcast. By the Liberal Democrats
6.30 ITV Evening News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (r) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown
3.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY.
Jonny and Ashley continue the search
for their dream chateau 5.00 Four in
a Bed. A visit to The George and
Abbotsford in Scotland (r) 5.30 Star
Boot Sale. The comedian Bobby
Davro sells items at a car boot sale
6.00 The Simpsons (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Kyle backtracks on his original plan (r)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.20 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.10
Access 1.15 Home and Away. Roo asks
Alf for help in tracking her mother
down 1.45 Neighbours. Toadie is
excited at the prospect of Sonya’s
return 2.15 NCIS. A Marine is found
murdered in Gibbs’s home town (r)
3.15 FILM McBride: Murder Past
Midnight (PG, TVM, 2005) The lawyer
reluctantly agrees to defend a woman
being retried for murder, even though
he was on the jury in the original trial.
Mystery with John Larroquette 5.00 5
News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Toadie is
excited at the prospect of Sonya’s
return (r) 6.00 Home and Away.
Roo asks Alf for help in tracking her
mother down (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
The heptathlon begins (midnight)
Gianni and Donatella Versace (9pm)
Hale and Pace in Benidorm (9pm)
Lexi the bichon frise (8pm)
World Rally Championship (7pm)
7.00 Emmerdale Vanessa takes
matters into her own hands
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 FIA World Rally Championship
Highlights The Tour de Corse.
Action from the fourth round
of the season, on tarmac roads
on the island of Corsica (4/13);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 The Supervet Professor Noel
Fitzpatrick and his veterinary
team treat a bichon frise with
chronic elbow pain, a Labrador
that is unable to stand and a
leonberger with a bone tumour
in its leg (8/11) (r)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm Three
sisters from east Yorkshire
reveal their pig farming
techniques, and Kelvin tries
working with a sheepdog (3/5);
followed by 5 News Update
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker
and Alex Jones present the
magazine show featuring
reports from around the UK
7.30 Coronation Street Eva
struggles with the prospect
of giving up her baby
8.00 MasterChef: The Finals
The final four amateur cooks
embark on a culinary adventure
to Peru, where they take part in
a series of challenges, including
recreating Peruvian dishes and
creating a special dinner
8.00 The Secret Helpers Lesley,
a 70-year-old widow, and the
restaurant owner Lauren, seek
advice from strangers as they
deal with challenging moments
in their personal and
professional lives (4/5)
8.00 Britain’s Brightest Family Two
families compete in the first
semi-final of the tournament
9.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick
Knowles and the team head to
the Worcestershire village of
Eckington to help a 17-year-old,
who has the rare and
debilitating Ehlers-Danlos
syndrome (7/7) (r)
9.00 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew brags, bluffs and
beguiles his way into a new life,
targeting wealthy men in San
Diego. See Viewing Guide (7/9)
9.00 Benidorm Sammy is excited
after his comeback, and tries
to persuade Monty that he is
ready for an evening show —
but an encounter with an
obsessed fan gives him
second thoughts (6/9)
9.00 One Born Every Minute
Chantell and Phil arrive in the
hospital awaiting the birth of
their third child together, and a
couple who have faced a
difficult pregnancy arrive in the
maternity ward (6/10)
9.00 Housing Yorkshire:
Somewhere Called Home
A Neighbourhood Officer
investigates anti-social
behaviour on a Sheffield estate,
and an officer in Bradford
discovers someone has been
fly tipping on an estate (2/3)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.00 First Dates The recruitment
consultant Lee sits down for a
date with Abbi, hoping that she
may be the perfect partner that
he can settle down with after
deciding it’s time to hang up his
party hat. See Viewing Guide
10.00 Restless Legs Syndrome: Can’t
Stop Twitching Documentary
about people with a
compulsion to constantly move
their feet, a condition so severe
for some that they want to
have their legs chopped off (r)
11.05 Gogglebox Capturing the
households’ instant reactions to
what they are watching on
television from the comfort of
their own sofas (r)
11.05 Murder on the Internet
Conclusion of the documentary
about the dangers of online
dating, told through interviews
with friends and families of
victims, as well as police,
lawyers and psychologists (r)
12.05am Live from Abbey Road
Classics 12.35 Seven Year Switch (r)
1.30 FILM Wanderlust (15, 2012) See
Film Choice (SL) 3.05 Old House, New
Home (r) 4.00 Building the Dream (r)
4.55 Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Free
(r) 5.05 The Question Jury (r)
12.05am When Kids Kill. A teenager
who strangled his girlfriend to death
1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind
Closed Doors (r) 4.00 My Mum’s
Hotter Than Me! (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine Designs (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather;
National Lottery Update
9.50 Live at the Apollo Stand-up
comedy with Josh Widdicombe,
Nathan Caton and Celia
Pacquola (2/6) (r)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events with Evan Davis
10.45 A Question of Sport With Barry
McGuigan, Marion Bartoli,
Martin Off
ffiiah and Dominic Cork
11.15 Annie: Out of the Ashes
A woman tries to find out the
truth about a fire when she was
a baby that left her with severe
facial scarring, having been told
her mother set fire to the
caravan she was in (r)
11.15 Hospital Cameras follow Val,
a 55-year-old mouth cancer
patient, and Dilip Srinivasan, the
surgeon fighting to see her
operation goes ahead despite
a new NHS ruling (3/6) (r)
12.00 Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Coverage of day eight in
Queensland, where athletics events
including the women’s 100m hurdles
are scheduled to take place, and the
heptathlon gets going with the 100m
hurdles and high jump disciplines
12.15am Sign Zone: The Queen — Her
Commonwealth Story (r) (SL) 1.15 RAF
at 100 with Ewan and Colin McGregor.
The RAF’s centenary (r) (SL) 2.45
MasterChef (r) (SL) 3.15 Classic Mary
Berry (r) (SL) 3.45 Weather for the
Week Ahead 3.50 BBC News
8.30 Coronation Street Toyah
encourages Eva to be honest
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.45 Uefa Champions League
Highlights The quarter-final
second-lleg matches, which
were Manchester City v
Liverpool, AS Roma v Barcelona,
Real Madrid v Juventus, and
Bayern Munich v Sevilla
11.45 When Football Changed
Forever The story of the
1991/92 Division One season
12.35am Jackpot247. Viewers get
the chance to participate in live
interactive gaming 3.00 Tenable.
Subjects include rugby union, Grease
and boys’ names beginning with J (r)
(SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
42 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Speed 2
Wednesday 11 | Primetime digital guide
Sandra Bullock stars in the
thriller sequel opposite
Jason Patric
Film4, 6.35pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days News
and analysis from
Washington DC and London
7.30 Nature’s Microworlds
The Arctic archipelago of
Svalbard (R)
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended highlights
from day seven of the
Games in Queensland
9.00 Bacchus Uncovered:
Ancient God of Ecstasy
Professor Bettany Hughes
investigates the story of
Bacchus. See Viewing Guide
10.00 The Plantagenets The story
of England’s longest-ruling
royal dynasty (1/3) (R)
11.00 The Mayflower Pilgrims:
Behind the Myth The true
story of the pilgrims’ voyage
to the New World (R)
12.00-1.30am Chef vs Science: The
Ultimate Kitchen Challenge
Mark Miodownik challenges
Marcus Wareing to the
ultimate cookery contest (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote Jessica
decides to upgrade from her
trusty typewriter by
enrolling at a computer
school, where she stumbles
across a case of hacking —
which leads to murder (R)
8.00 Endeavour The detective
throws himself into his work
following his recent loss, and
investigates the suspicious
death of a scientist from a
team working on an early
computer (R)
10.00 The Street Self-contained
dramas set in the north of
England. A bored mother-ofthree has an affair with a
neighbour. Starring Jane
Horrocks, Shaun Dooley and
Timothy Spall (R)
11.20-12.45am The Street A man
dreading the prospect of
retirement becomes more
depressed when his
company allows him to
leave his job early (R)
6.55pm The Secret Life of the Zoo
A rare okapi must woo a
female, the African painted
dogs compete to be pack
leader, and a Bornean river
turtle meets two prospective
mates. Last in the series (R)
7.55 Grand Designs A couple
decide to trade in their tiny
east London flat to start a
new life on the water by
creating a three-bedroom
houseboat from scrap (R)
9.00 Vet on the Hill Scott
operates on a nurse’s rescue
dog from Romania, and
an English bulldog with
a head tremor
10.00 24 Hours in A&E A young
man is treated after coming
off his motorbike and
colliding with two cars (R)
11.10-12.10am 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
Countdown Sean Lock and
Henning Wehn compete
against Jon Richardson and
Victoria Coren Mitchell (R)
6.35pm FILM Speed 2: Cruise
Control (PG, 1997) A couple
on a cruise liner in the
Bahamas have to stop the
vessel from colliding with an
oil tanker. Action thriller
sequel with Sandra Bullock,
Jason Patric, Willem Dafoe
and Temuera Morrison
9.00 FILM Transporter 2
(15, 2005) A politician’s
chauffeur sets out to rescue
his employer’s kidnapped
son from Russian criminals.
Action thriller sequel
starring Jason Statham,
Alessandro Gassman, Amber
Valletta and Kate Nauta
10.40-12.45am FILM
Extraterrestrial (15, 2014)
Five friends spending a
weekend in a remote cabin
face a battle for survival
when an alien crash lands
nearby. Sci-fi horror starring
Brittany Allen, Freddie
Stroma and Melanie Papalia
7.00pm The Simpsons Bart fakes
his own kidnapping after
attending a concert. With
the voice of 50 Cent (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Mayor
Quimby legalises same-sex
marriage in Springfield (R)
8.00 DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
Sara and Ray uncover a
secret when Ava vanishes,
while things go awry when
Nate and Wally go on a
mission to get a totem
9.00 A League of Their Own
Lennox Lewis, Christine
Ohuruogu and Sean Lock
join the regulars (R)
10.00 Rugby’s Funniest Moments
A selection of the sport’s
most amusing moment (R)
11.00 The Force: North East
Northumbria Police answer
a flood of 999 calls (R)
12.00-1.00am Air Ambulance ER
The work of Britain’s
emergency helicopter
medical services (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A kidnapper
orders Catherine to
accompany his victim’s
lover as he delivers a
ransom payment (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Frank tries to
prevent a biological weapon
attack on New York City (R)
9.00 Westworld: The Story So
Far A chance to catch up
with events from the first
series of the sci-fi drama (R)
10.00 High Maintenance New
series. The Guy has a busier
day than usual as New
Yorkers react to worldchanging news
10.35 Silicon Valley Richard
Hendricks’ decentralised
internet PiperNet
approaches its debut (R)
11.10-12.20am Billions Chuck tries
to cash in a favour owed to
him by a judge. Meanwhile,
Wendy helps Taylor weather
their first major crisis (R)
Drama
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Camcorder calamities
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA The Red
and Blue teams battle in a
pasta-profit challenge
10.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA The chefs
have to compete in challenges to
earn their black jackets
10.55 Family Guy
11.25 Family Guy
11.55-12.25am Family Guy
7.00pm Pawn Stars
7.30 Pawn Stars The team comes
across a rare make of shotgun
8.00 River Monsters Jeremy Wade
tracks down deadly parasites
9.00 The Motorbike Show Henry
Cole and Sam Lovegrove continue
their rebuild of a Harley WLC
10.00 The Americans Philip deals
with business at the travel agency
11.00 Lethal Weapon Riggs and
Murtaugh are thrown into the
world of counterfeit money
12.00-1.00am The Big Fish Off
7.00pm Hollyoaks Kim’s patience
begins to wear thin
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers
8.00 The Goldbergs Erica and her
roommate annoy each other
8.30 The Big Bang Theory Penny
has a meeting with Bill Gates
9.00 Timeless Lucy, Wyatt and
Rufus chase the Mothership back
to South Carolina in 1955
10.00 Naked Attraction
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35-12.05am The Big Bang
Theory Pilot episode
7.00pm Last Man Standing
7.30 Last Man Standing Vanessa
starts a lending library after she
confesses to feeling lonely
8.00 Dumb Drivers: Caught in the
Act Motorists and motorcyclists
getting into all sorts of scrapes
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
Two agents face a web of deceit
10.00 Star Ayanna reprimands the
girls for their lack of commitment
11.00 Riverdale Betty finds Polly
12.00-1.00am Can’t Pay? We’ll
Take It Away! An agent is assaulted
6.35pm FILM Night of the Prowler
(U, 1962) Directors of a racing car
company fear for their lives.
Thriller with Patrick Holt
7.50 Glimpses: Your Local Council
1949 A council builds a pavilion
8.00 A Family at War Drama set
during the Second World War
9.00 FILM Look Back in Anger
(PG, 1958) Drama. See Film Choice
11.00-12.50am FILM Sleeping Car
to Trieste (PG, 1948) Secret agents
hunt for a diary on the Orient
Express. Thriller starring Jean Kent
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Howard tries to hide his new bike
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Alvin dresses up as a crow
8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe Wield and
Dalziel investigate a raid on a
pharmaceutical company
10.00 New Tricks The team
reinvestigates the 15-year-old
murder of a boxer after the gun
used to kill him is discovered
11.20 Birds of a Feather Dorien
appears on Antiques Roadshow
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Full Steam Ahead
The dangers involved in working
on the Victorian railways
8.00 From World War to Cold War
Documentary about the end
of the Second World War.
See Viewing Guide (1/2)
9.00 Porridge The inmates face a
day of hard labour on moorland
9.40 Porridge Fletch is desperate
to get out of making fishing nets
10.20 Porridge
11.00 The Two Ronnies
11.55-12.35am The Two Ronnies
7.00pm Police Interceptors A 999
call leads to a drugs bust for Liam
8.00 World’s Deadliest Weather:
Caught on Camera
9.00 FILM Romeo Must Die (15,
2000) A former cop becomes
dangerously close to a gangster’s
daughter as he leads the hunt for
his brother’s killer. Martial arts
thriller starring Jet Li
11.20-12.35am Spartacus:
Vengeance The gladiator is forced
to choose between taking revenge
and keeping the slaves together
7.00pm QI XL Sue Perkins, Romesh
Ranganathan and Bill Bailey guest
8.00 Sin City Motors An electrical
lineman’s 1970s Ford pickup
9.00 Live at the Apollo Kevin
Bridges hosts stand-up comedy by
Phill Jupitus and Sara Pascoe
10.00 Room 101 Lucy Porter,
Romesh Ranganathan and Robert
Rinder discuss their pet hates
10.40 Room 101 With Richard
Ayoade and Alun Cochrane
11.20 Room 101
12.00-12.40am QI
6.50pm Who Killed Stalin?
The circumstances surrounding
the Soviet dictator’s death
7.55 Great Escape: The Reckoning
The RAF team that tracked down
the people who killed 50 Allied
airmen during the mass breakout
from a German PoW camp
9.00 The Vietnam War The epic
story of the conflict, bringing the
war and the epoch it encompassed
to life. See Viewing Guide (1/10)
11.00-12.10am Great Escape:
The Reckoning Docudrama
7.00pm Tarzan: The Man Behind
the Legend A look at the evolution
of the character since its creation
8.00 National Treasures: The Art
of Collecting Patrizia Sandretto Re
Rebaudengo reflects on the state
of art collecting. Last in the series
9.00 Discovering: Robert Taylor
A profile of the American actor
10.00 We Remember Marilyn
Profile of Marilyn Monroe
12.00-1.10am Hollywood: Singing
and Dancing Celebrating the
magic of musical films in the 1950s
7.00pm The Real A&E A nine-yearold boy fights for his life
8.00 Elementary Holmes
investigates a plane crash
9.00 Grey’s Anatomy April’s crisis
of faith is challenged by a rabbi,
and Meredith meets a transplant
surgeon from another hospital.
10.00 Criminal Minds A killer has
an interest in Greek mythology
11.00 Criminal Minds A bomb
explodes in a vehicle in New York
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A girl goes missing
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS Gibbs fights for his
life after being shot
8.00 NCIS
9.00 NCIS
10.00 Bull A widow hires Bull to
help represent her
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Tanked The team builds a
reef tank for the owner of a winery
9.00 Street Outlaws: Memphis
New series. Street racing series
10.00 Moonshiners
11.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
12.00-1.00am Street Outlaws:
Memphis Street racing series
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
8.00 Airport Security: Peru
Cocaine is hidden in a shipment
9.00 Airport Security: Colombia
Two men smuggle cocaine
10.00 Border Wars
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Strippers: Cars for
Cash Parts of quirky vehicles
7.00pm Friends
7.30 Friends
8.00 Your Face or Mine
8.30 Bad Robots
9.00 Lee Evans: Roadrunner
10.00 The Chris Ramsey Show
10.30 Russell Howard & Mum: USA
Road Trip A trip to Los Angeles
11.00-12.00 You’re the Worst
7.00pm You Rang, M’Lord?
8.00 Dad’s Army
8.40 Only Fools and Horses
9.20 Citizen Khan Mr Khan
becomes a house husband
10.00 Citizen Khan Mr Khan tries
to meet Prince Charles
10.40 Absolutely Fabulous
11.20-12.20am Live at the Apollo
7.00pm My Dream Home Kate and
Cole decide to buy their first house
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Embarrassing Bodies
Medical advice in Thailand
10.00 One Born Every Minute
A woman longs to hold her baby
11.00 Gavin & Stacey
11.40-12.20am Gavin & Stacey
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.20pm The Emoji Movie (U, 2017)
Animation featuring the voices of
TJ Miller and James Corden
8.00 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Thieves attempt a heist
against the US Treasury as a
hurricane approaches. Action
thriller starring Toby Kebbell
9.50 Shin Godzilla (12, 2016) Japan
is plunged into chaos upon the
appearance of a giant monster.
Adventure with Hiroki Hasegawa
11.55-2.05am Rough Stuff
(12, 2017) Adventure
6.05pm Splash! (PG, 1984)
Romantic fantasy comedy with
Tom Hanks and Daryl Hannah
8.00 Mean Girls (12, 2004)
A teenager’s so-called friends turn
on her over a romantic mishap.
Comedy starring Lindsay Lohan
9.45 Taken (15, 2008) A former CIA
agent tries to rescue his daughter
from a gang of sex traffickers.
Thriller starring Liam Neeson
11.30-1.20am Kiss of the Dragon
(18, 2001) Martial arts adventure
starring Jet Li and Bridget Fonda
6.25pm The Secret Life of Pets
(U, 2016) Animated adventure
featuring the voice of Louis CK
8.00 Snow White and the Seven
Dwarfs (U, 1937) Disney animated
version of the Brothers Grimm
story about a princess driven from
her home by her evil stepmother.
With the voice of Adriana Caselotti
9.30 Hercules (U, 1997) Adventure
with the voice of Tate Donovan
11.15-12.55am Rock Dog (PG, 2016)
Animated adventure featuring
the voice of Luke Wilson
7.00pm Behind Enemy Lines (12,
2001) A Nato naval air commander
leads an unauthorised mission to
rescue a reconnaissance pilot.
Drama starring Gene Hackman
9.00 Ghost in the Shell (12, 2017)
A cyborg government agent goes
in search of a hacker. Sci-fi fantasy
starring Scarlett Johansson
11.00-1.00am In a Valley of
Violence (15, 2016) A drifter runs
afoul of the thugs running a mining
town. Western starring Ethan
Hawke and John Travolta
5.30pm 2001: A Space Odyssey (U,
1968) A spacecraft is sent to
Jupiter to investigate the origins of
a strange artefact. Sci-fi drama with
Keir Dullea and William Sylvester
8.00 Grease (PG, 1978) A
rebellious teenager falls for a shy
Australian girl. Romantic musical
set in 1950s starring John Travolta
10.00-1.00am The Good, the Bad
and the Ugly (15, 1966) Three rival
gunfighters hunt for a cache of
hidden gold. Spaghetti Western
starring Clint Eastwood
The full 18-hour version of the
acclaimed series The Vietnam
War begins (PBS America, 9pm)
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 43
1G R
Wednesday 11
Sports guide
Live Football
BT Sport 2, 7pm
Radio 1
Real Madrid have a 3-0
advantage over Juventus as
the sides meet at the Santiago
Bernabéu in the second-leg
of their Champions League
quarter-final. Cristiano Ronaldo
scored a brace, including a
spectacular overhead kick,
pictured, to leave the Old Lady
needing a miracle. In tonight’s
other match, Bayern Munich
welcome Sevilla to the Allianz
Arena, with the German side
leading 2-1 (BT Sport 3, 7pm). JC
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
9.00am Good Morning
Sports Fans
10.00 PL Daily
11.00 Sky Sports Daily
12.00 Sky Sports News
3.00pm LIVE Indian Premier
League: Rajasthan Royals v
Delhi Daredevils
7.30 LIVE EFL:
Wolverhampton Wanderers
v Derby County (Kick-off 7.45)
The Championship match
from Molineux
10.00 The Debate
11.00-6.00am News
Sky Sports Premier
League
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
9.00am Best PL Goals:
Tottenham v Chelsea
9.30 PL Legends
10.00 PL Daily
11.00 The Debate
12.00 PL Review
1.00pm PL 100 Club
2.00 PL Best Goals 14/15
3.00 PL Years
5.00 PL Review
6.00 PL 100 Club
7.00 PL World
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special
10.00 The Debate
11.00 PL World
11.30 Best PL Goals:
Merseyside Derby
12.00-1.00am PL Best Goals
93/94 Memorable strikes
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
9.00am Scottish Cup
Greatest Games
9.15 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games The 1997/98 season
9.30 La Liga Greatest Games
10.00 Revista De La Liga
10.30 La Liga World
11.00 One2Eleven:
Danny Gabbidon
11.15 One2Eleven:
Mick McCarthy
11.30 SPFL Greatest Games
12.00 Eredivisie Round-Up
1.00pm La Liga Icons
2.00 Revista De La Liga
2.30 La Liga World
3.00 Football’s Greatest
Players Gheorghe Hagi
3.30 Football’s Greatest
Teams AC Milan
4.00 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games The 1996/97 final
4.30 La Liga Greatest Games
Radio guide
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Greg James 7.00 Annie Mac
9.00 Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Benji B 3.00
Niki and Sammy’s Peachy
Podcast 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
5.00 Football Years
5.30 Football Countdowns
6.00 Revista De La Liga
6.30 La Liga World
7.00 Football’s Greatest
Players Profiles
7.30 LIVE EFL:
Wolverhampton Wanderers
v Derby County (Kick-off 7.45)
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Eredivisie Round-Up
12.00-1.00am La Liga Icons
Sky Sports Cricket
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Fearne Cotton 9.30 Trevor
Nelson 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 Mark
Radcliffe 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00
Memphis & Martin Luther King:
“They Wouldn’t Treat Me Like
a Man” 11.00 Old Grey Whistle
Test 40 (r) 12.00 Pick of the
Pops (r) 2.00am Playlists
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League: Rajasthan
Royals v Delhi Daredevils
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
4.00pm-12.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Claro Open
Colsanitas Coverage from
Bogota, Colombia
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
7.00pm-10.30 LIVE UEFA
Champions League Real
Madrid v Juventus (Kick-off
7.45) Coverage of the
quarter-final second-leg
encounter at the Bernabeu
12.00 NBA Countdown Live
1.00am LIVE NBA:
Philadelphia 76ers v
Milwaukee Bucks (Tip-off
1.00) From Wells Fargo Centre
3.30-6.00 LIVE NBA: Portland
Trail Blazers v Utah Jazz
(Tip-off 3.30) Coverage from
the Moda Centre
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
10.00am-4.00pm LIVE WTA
Tennis The Samsung Open in
Lugano, Switzerland
4.30-6.30 LIVE WTA Tennis
Further action from the
Samsung Open in Lugano
7.00-10.30 LIVE UEFA
Champions League: Bayern
Munich v Sevilla (Kick-off
7.45) The quarter-final
second-leg at Allianz Arena
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
2.30pm-4.45 LIVE Cycling:
Brabantse Pijl Coverage of
the UCI Europe Tour race
from Belgium
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Pachelbel. See Choice
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Beethoven (Rondino
in E flat, WoO25; and Piano Trio
in B flat, Op 97 — Archduke)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Mahler (Symphony No 5 in
C sharp minor); and Webern
(Im Sommerwind — Idyll for
Orchestra)
3.30 Choral Evensong Introit:
Easter Sentences (David
Koehring). Hymn: Christ is alive
(Truro arr Dirksen). Responses:
Douglas Major. Psalm 115
(Tonus Peregrinus with
handbells). First Lesson: Micah
7 vv 7-15. Canticles: Sowerby in
E minor. Second Lesson: 1
Corinthians 15 vv 30-41.
Anthems: Christ the Lord Is
Risen Today (Rorem); Come Ye
Faithful (Baker); Christ Our
Passover (Dirksen). Hymn: The
Lord of Life (Gelobt sei Gott).
Postlude: Grand Choeur
Dialogue (Gigout) (r)
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 Highlights
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Thomas Ades conducts the
London Philharmonic in his
own Powder Her Face Suite,
Gerald Barry’s new Organ
Concerto with Thomas Trotter,
and Stravinsky’s Persephone
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Late Junction
12.30am Through the Night (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
Today’s picks
The Compass: Living
on the Edge — Deserts
World Service, 10.06pm
Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
Radio 3, noon
It can be so depressing, the
environment, can’t it? It’s not
its fault, of course. But even the
word “environment” — bearing
a heavy baggage of guilt mixed
with impotence — can feel
dispiriting. So this programme
on the Ordos Desert in Mongolia
is a breath of fresh air. Although, oddly, it was a sense of
environmental doom that led to it. A woman named Yin Yuzhen,
pictured, found herself there a few decades ago because of an
arranged marriage. Finding that living in an infertile desert was
even more dispiriting than listening to programmes on one, she
started to plant trees. And kept planting them. To date she has
planted a million, in more than 70,000 hectares of desert. And,
goddess-like, she has transformed the place, causing plants to
bloom, birds to sing and sandstorms to cease. Didi Akinyelure
travels there to meet her. Catherine Nixey
Poor old Pachelbel. These
days he’s one of that elite
group of composers whose
work is best known for being
murdered at weddings. But
once upon a time he had a
reputation far higher than of
provider of marital Muzak.
Born in 1653, he was one
of the greatest musicians of
his generation — a composer
so exceptional that he was
a great influence on JS Bach.
Here, Donald Macleod
plays some of Pachelbel’s
other work and discusses his
(unexpectedly tragic) life.
CN
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
9.00 Soul Music
9.30 The History of Secrecy
The world of confidential
information (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Packing My Library By Alberto
Manguel. The author and
bibliophile meditates on
his vast personal book
collection and champions the
vital role of all libraries (3/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour At 10.45
the Drama: How Does That
Make You Feel? by Shelagh
Stephenson (3/5)
10.56 The Listening Project
11.00 Generation Neither (r)
11.30 Big Problems with
Helen Keen (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Tommies
The British Army is in retreat
towards the Channel ports,
and must face up to losing the
First World War (4/4)
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 Inconspicuous
Consumption (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Sketchtopia
7.00 The Archers
Jazzer looks to the future
7.15 Front Row
7.45 How Does That Make
You Feel? (r)
8.00 Unreliable Evidence
8.45 Four Thought
9.00 Costing the Earth (r)
9.30 Soul Music (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.15 Unreliable Evidence (r)
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich By John Updike (8/10)
11.00 Sophie Willan’s Guide to
Normality (4/4)
Horne 8.00 White Heat
8.30 Serbian Trumpets 9.00
The Lunch Box 9.15 Dr Barry
10.00 Comedy Club:
Sketchtopia 10.30 2525
11.00 As Told to Craig Brown
11.30 The Consultants
11.15 The John Moloney Show
Comedy (r)
11.30 The Digital Human (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
BBC World Service
Digital only
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 Breakfast
10.00 The Emma Barnett
Show with Clare McDonnell
1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport:
Champions League Football
2017-18 10.30 Phil Williams
1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast with David
Ginola 10.00 Jim White, Tony
Cascarino and Bob Mills
1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Darren Gough
7.00 Live Kick-off 10.00
Sports Bar 1.00am Extra Time
with Adam Catterall
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30
Round the Horne 9.00 The
Write Stuff 9.30 Life, Death
and Sex with Mike and Sue
10.00 Jude the Obscure 11.00
The Lunch Box 11.15 Dr Barry
12.00 The Navy Lark 12.30pm
Round the Horne 1.00 White
Heat 1.30 Serbian Trumpets
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
Tristram Shandy 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Jude the Obscure 4.00 The
Write Stuff 4.30 Life, Death
and Sex with Mike and Sue
5.00 Ring Around the Bath
5.30 Sketchtopia 6.00 The
Scarifyers: The King of Winter
6.30 The Tingle Factor 7.00
The Navy Lark 7.30 Round the
9.00am News 9.06 World
Book Club 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 Documentary 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 The
Compass 2.00 Newshour
3.00 News 3.06 HARDtalk
3.30 Business 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 Outlook
7.00 The Newsroom 7.30
Sport Today 8.00 News 8.06
HARDtalk 8.30 Healthcheck
9.00 Newshour 10.00 News
10.06 The Compass. See
Choice 10.30 Documentary
11.00 News 11.06 Newsroom
11.20 Sports News 11.30
Business 12.00 News
12.06am World Book Club
1.00 News 1.06 Business
2.00 News 2.06 Newsroom
2.30 Documentary 3.00
News 3.06 The Inquiry
3.30 The Food Chain 4.00
News 4.06 Outlook
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00
Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc
Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00
Mary Anne Hobbs 1.00am
The Celluloid Jukebox
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am Breakfast 9.00
Nicholas Owen 1.00pm
Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert
10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Sam Pittis
44 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Thursday 12 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice Law & Order
BBC Four, 10pm
GF Newman’s Law & Order
from 1978 was a
groundbreaking television
programme. The four-part
drama, broadcast only two
years after Dixon of Dock
Green was put to rest,
demonstrated not only that
you could bribe and twist the
honest British copper, but
that in the Met in the
Seventies it was de rigueur.
According to its author, after
it went out a Home Office
minister, John Harris,
summoned the BBC’s
director-general, Sir Ian
Trethowan, and told him that
this was not the kind of
programme the BBC should
be making and that it should
never be sold abroad.
Trethowan’s response was
apparently robust, but it
wasn’t repeated until 2009,
and again now nine years
later — 40 years after it was
first shown. In the opening
episode, A Detective’s Tale,
Chief Inspector Trout of A10
(the precursor to AC-12 in
Jed Mercurio’s Line of Duty)
receives a tip-off about a
meeting between a
policeman and a criminal.
The bent copper is Fred Pyle,
played brilliantly by Derek
Martin, better known as
Charlie Slater (RIP) in
EastEnders. Pyle grabs the
odd suspect by the scruff of
his orange Y-fronts, but next
to Jack Regan he is a
positively gentlemanly
member of the Sweeney. A
Detective’s Tale tells the story
of the framing of an armed
robber called Jack Lynn. He
is not involved in the robbery
under investigation, but Pyle
considers he is “well
overdue”. Next week’s
episode, A Villain’s Tale,
shows us Lynn for the first
time, played by Peter Dean
(who also went on to
EastEnders), followed by
A Brief’s Tale (which stars
Ken Campbell, pictured with
Martin, as bent brief Alex
Gladwell) and A Prisoner’s
Tale. Andrew Billen
Further recommendations
A more recent police drama from the archives is WPC 56 (Drama,
tomorrow, 9pm), following a woman cop’s experiences in 1956
Living with the
Brainy Bunch
War Above
the Trenches
Civilisations
Urban Myths
BBC Two, 9pm
Sky Arts, 9pm
BBC Two, 8pm
Yesterday, 8pm
Yet another reality TV
education experiment, as two
underachieving Year 11 pupils
from Chessington Community
College in Greater London
spend half a term living
under the same roof as two
of the highest-achieving pupils
in their year. Will a new tough
routine turn their lives around?
Well, duh, of course, but
how about if Holly and Jack’s
parents had enforced a
similarly strict regime in
the first place? Turns out
parental influence over
a child’s education is actually
rather important. Joe Clay
When you think of the First
World War, your first thought is
of the bloody and futile war of
attrition in the battlefields of
northern France and Belgium.
However, there is another story
of a war fought in the skies, as
recounted in this detailed twopart documentary presented
by Professor Saul David. Based
on Peter Hart’s book, Bloody
April, this is the bitter struggle
for aerial supremacy fought
by the Royal Flying Corps
brought to life by dramatic
reconstructions, archive
footage and the diaries of
those involved. JC
Simon Schama looks at colour
and its importance in religion
and civilisation, using the
stained glass windows of the
gothic cathedrals in Amiens
and Chartres as his muse. “All
this stained glass were meant
to be immense expanses of
jewel-like radiance,” he
explains. Using colour as a
symbol of the divine wasn’t
exclusive to the Christian
church and Schama touches
on how other civilisations used
it. But he reserves his most
purple prose for Giambattista
Tiepolo’s ceiling fresco at the
bishop’s palace in Würzburg,
and Henri Matisse’s great
chapel at Vence. JC
The second run of comedies
that take their plot from a
possibly apocryphal anecdote
begins with Marilyn Monroe
and Billy Wilder on the set of
the 1959 film Some Like It Hot.
The myth is that Monroe
needed almost 50 takes to get
the line “It’s me, sugar,” correct.
Gemma Arterton is Monroe,
and as this is a comedy it’s
more of a caricature than
Michelle Williams’s nuanced
take in the 2011 film My Week
with Marilyn. James Purefoy is
Wilder, the film’s director, while
her co-stars Tony Curtis (Alex
Pettyfer) and Jack Lemmon
(Adam Brody) take bets on
when she will nail it. JC
Catch
up
The Queen: Her
Commonwealth Story
BBC iPlayer, to April 25
There is a lot of good
archive footage in this
hour-long analysis
of the Queen’s
relationship with the
Commonwealth. As
George Alagiah
chronicles the way
that Elizabeth II’s
role as head of the
Commonwealth
shaped her as a
person — at the
same time that
she was moulding it as an
institution — we follow her
on numerous intricately
recorded trips abroad. We
start with one of her first
acts as Queen, a six-month
tour (the longest taken
by a monarch) to
Commonwealth
nations. There are
some great interviews
here as well. Princess
Anne complains that
she and Charles didn’t
like walkabouts, and
a Ghanaian
cameraman
remembers the
Queen’s dance in
1961 with their
first president at
a ball. Alexi
Duggins
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
9.30pm-10.00 Rhod Gilbert’s Work
Experience. Rhod joins the Royal Navy,
thrown in at the deep end with their
rigorous training regime
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
10.00pm-10.30 Still Game. Isa is excited
when an old flame returns to Craiglang
11.15 MOTD: The Premier League Show
11.45-12.15am Sign Zone: See Hear (r)
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm The View. With Mark Carruthers
11.15 Question Time 12.15am-6.00 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018
● Channel As ITV except: 1.25-3.00am
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 2.00pm-5.00 Live
Racing on STV: Grand National Festival.
five races 10.30 Scotland Tonight 11.05
Uefa Europa League Highlights 12.05am
Lethal Weapon (r) 1.00 Teleshopping
2.00-3.00 After Midnight 3.25 ITV
Nightscreen 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 1.25am
Teleshopping 2.55-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw: Dona Direidi (r) 6.15
Tili a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.25 Halibalw (r) 6.35
Igam Ogam (r) 6.45 Y Brodyr Coala (r)
7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15 Y Diwrnod
Mawr (r) 7.30 Mwnci’n Dweud Mwnci’n
Gwneud (r) 7.40 Peppa (r) 7.45
Cacamwnci 8.00 Holi Hana (r) 8.10 Amser
Stori 8.15 Boj (r) 8.30 Abadas (r) 8.40 Bla
Bla Blewog (r) 8.55 Ben a Mali a’u Byd
Bach O Hud (r) 9.05 Sbridiri (r) 9.25
Meripwsan (r) 9.30 Straeon Ty Pen (r)
9.45 Cei Bach (r) 10.00 Dona Direidi (r)
10.15 Tili a’i Ffrindiau (r) 10.25 Halibalw (r)
10.35 Igam Ogam (r) 10.45 Y Brodyr Coala
(r) 11.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 11.15 Y
Diwrnod Mawr (r) 11.30 Mwnci’n Dweud
Mwnci’n Gwneud (r) 11.40 Peppa (r) 11.45
Cacamwnci (r) 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Straeon y Ffin (r) 12.30
Ffit Cymru (r) 1.30 Sion a Siân (r) 2.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 O Gymru
Fach (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh:
Larfa (r) 5.05 Hendre Hurt (r) 5.15 Tref a
Tryst 5.45 Edi Wyn (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 6.05 Ar Werth (r) 6.30 Rownd a
Rownd 7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y Cwm 8.00
Gwaith/Cartref 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Cwymp yr Ymerodraethau 10.30
Hansh 11.00-11.35 Mwy o Sgorio (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
Spirited Away (PG, 2001)
Film4, 12.35pm
When people talk about the beguiling magic of the Japanese
animation company Studio Ghibli and of the genius of its founder,
Hayao Miyazaki, they are more than likely referring to this film.
This inventive tale of a little girl lost in a strange world of monsters
and magic has echoes of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. On a
family outing, Chihiro and her parents encounter an abandoned
amusement park. When her parents turn into a pair of pigs, Chihiro
finds herself pressed into service as a scullery maid in a resort and
spa for the spirits. It was the first anime film to be nominated for
(and win) an Oscar, for best animated feature. (125min) Wendy Ide
A Bigger Splash (15, 2015)
Film4, 9pm
Luca Guadagnino’s sly, funny followup to I Am Love feels like the
greatest party you have ever been
invited to. Ralph Fiennes, pictured
with Tilda Swinton, is a riot as Harry,
music industry legend and the
former lover of Marianne (Swinton).
She is a rock star recovering from a
throat operation, whose tranquil holiday idyll on a Sicilian island
with her film-maker partner, Paul (Matthias Schoenaerts), is
disrupted when Harry crash-lands in their midst. Trailing behind
Harry is sulky, sexy Penelope (Dakota Johnson), the daughter he
has only recently discovered he has. Guadagnino uses the
bohemian backdrop of the holiday villa as a striking stage for the
sexually charged tragicomedy that unfolds. (125min) WI
As Above, So Below (15, 2014)
Film4, 11.30pm
Lara Croft meets The Descent by way of The Da Vinci Code
in As Above, So Below. This frantically paced subterranean spookfest follows the archaeology totty Scarlett Marlowe (Perdita
Weeks) in her quest for the philosopher’s stone. This takes her
and her band of disposable fellow spelunkers deep into the
catacombs beneath Paris. There they discover, among
other things, a piano, a naked choir of Devil worshippers,
a working telephone and a portal to Hell — which explains a lot
about Parisian drains. This was the first production to secure
permission from the French government to film in the
catacombs. (93min) WI
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 45
1G R
Thursday 12
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BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018.
Featuring athletics, beach volleyball
and hockey 1.00pm BBC News at One;
Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather 1.45 Doctors. Zara struggles
to keep her cool during the conflict
resolution course 2.15 800 Words.
George gets a lot of unexpected
attention 3.00 Escape to the Country.
Seeking a home in the North Wessex
Downs area of southern England (r)
3.45 Money for Nothing. Reinventing
a wicker table and chair, two paraffin
lamps and a firepit (r) 4.30 Flog It!
From Sandon Hall in Staffordshire (r)
5.15 Pointless. Quiz show with
Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 6.55 Party Election
Broadcast. By the Green Party
6.00am Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Coverage of day eight of the
Games continues in Queensland, with
the final of the men’s beach volleyball
taking place along with women’s lawn
bowls 9.15 Oxford Street Revealed (r)
10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (r)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths (r) 11.45
Dom on the Spot 12.15pm Bargain
Hunt (r) 1.00 Live Commonwealth
Games 2018. The concluding
programme of coverage on day eight
in Queensland, as the men’s 800m
final takes place at the Carrara
Stadium 5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is. Eric Knowles and
Danny Sebastian go antique-hunting
in Belgium (r) 6.00 Eggheads. Quiz
show hosted by Jeremy Vine 6.30
Today at the Games. Highlights of day
eight of the Commonwealth Games
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose
Women. The ladies put the world to
rights once more and invite a guest to
chat about what they are up to 1.30
ITV News; Weather 1.55 Regional
News; Weather 2.00 Live ITV Racing:
Grand National Festival. Ed
Chamberlin and Francesca Cumani
present coverage from Aintree of five
races on the opening day of the
prestigious meeting, at 2.20, 2.50,
3.25, 4.05 and 4.40. With analysis
from AP McCoy, Mick Fitzgerald, and
Luke Harvey and commentary by
Richard Hoiles 5.00 The Chase. Quiz
show hosted by Bradley Walsh 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.25 Party
Election Broadcast. By the Green
Party 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (r) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Winter Suna (r)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY 5.00
Four in a Bed (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale.
Model and presenter Vogue Williams
sells her designer clothes 6.00 The
Simpsons. Homer returns from a
nuclear convention a changed man
(r) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Kim’s patience
begins to wear thin as she tries to
keep herself occupied (r)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.10
Access 1.15 Home and Away 1.45
Neighbours. Sonya upsets Toadie by
revealing she does not want any more
children 2.20 NCIS. An Immigration
and Customs Enforcement agent is
murdered (r) 3.15 FILM The Killing
Game (12, TVM, 2011) A sculptor
whose daughter was murdered
receives phone calls from the killer,
and tries to identify him before he
strikes again. Mystery starring Laura
Prepon 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30
Neighbours. Sonya upsets Toadie by
revealing she does not want any more
children (r) 6.00 Home and Away.
Coco tries to deal with her situation
at home (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Not Going Out continues (9pm)
Brainy pupil Holly H (8pm)
Excursions agent Timothy (8.30pm)
Indian Summer School (9pm)
Steve Backshall and hedgehog (7pm)
7.00 The One Show Topical
stories from around the UK
7.00 Emmerdale It looks like it is all
over for Vanessa and Charity,
and Ross will not back down
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.30 EastEnders Kat tells Hayley
to get out of Walford for good
7.30 OAP Bootcamp: Tonight Ideas
to improve the over-65s’ health
7.00 Steve Backshall’s Hedgehog
Rescue Steve Backshall visits
a hedgehog rescue centre in
Surrey founded by Brian May
(r); followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Location, Location, Location
Kirstie Allsopp catches up with
two couples who originally
wanted homes near the coast,
leading her and Phil Spencer to
search Devon and Norfolk
8.00 Springtime on the Farm A
report from the lamb hospital
at Barnsley’s Cannon Hall Farm,
a host of newborn chicks get a
check-up and JB Gill looks at
the rise in alpaca farming (4/5);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Masterchef: The Finals Chefs
Ashley Palmer-Watts and Jonny
Glass, of Heston Blumenthal’s
London restaurant Dinner, show
the hopefuls how to create one
of the dishes on their menu
8.00 Living with the Brainy Bunch
Two struggling 15-year-old
students move in with two of
the highest achievers in their
year to see whether the change
in environment and parental
influence will improve their
results. See Viewing Guide
8.00 Emmerdale Rhona fears
for her life, and Paddy
attempts to put things right
9.00 Not Going Out The school
lollipop man gets on the wrong
side of Lee and Lucy (6/7)
9.00 Civilisations Simon Schama
looks at the links between
colour and spirituality,
exploring the Gothic cathedrals
of Amiens and Chartres,
Japanese woodblocks and
Matisse’s great chapel at Venice.
See Viewing Guide (7/9)
9.00 The Investigator: A British
Crime Story Mark WilliamsThomas’s trail brings him to
three women who were killed in
similar circumstances within
four months of each other in
Glasgow in 1977 — and a new
prime suspect (2/3)
9.00 Indian Summer School Ethan
ruffles a few feathers with a
controversial article in the
school newspaper, Jack goes on
a trek into the Himalayas and all
the boys retake their GCSEs.
Last in the series
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
Tempers start to fray as
Stewart and Elmor set out to
evict a tenant from a property
in Manchester and a car
salesman is not happy about
paying a dissatisfied customer
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 MOTD: The Premier League
Show Magazine programme
featuring news and highlights
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events with Kirsty Wark
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.00 24 Hours in Police Custody The
work of Bedfordshire Police,
from the cells at Luton to the
operational heart of major
investigations (r)
10.00 Undercover: Nailing the
Fraudsters Paul Connolly
investigates the world of the
online romance fraudster,
creating his own profiles to
turn the tables on those
who would con lonely hearts
out of their money (3/6)
11.05 First Dates Recruitment
consultant Lee, who’s 32, sits
down for a date with 32-year-old
Abbi, hoping that she may be
the perfect partner that he can
settle down with (r)
11.05 The Murderer Next Door:
Countdown to Murder The
events leading up to the killing
of Joanna Yeates by Vincent
Tabak in December 2010.
Featuring dramatic
reconstructions and interviews
with Joanna’s parents (1/8) (r)
12.05am 999: On the Frontline. A man
with a broken ankle (r) 1.00 Class of
Mum and Dad (r) 1.55 The Supervet (r)
2.50 George Clarke’s Old House, New
Home (r) 3.45 Building the Dream (r)
4.40 The Question Jury (r) 5.35 Steph
and Dom’s One Star to Five Star (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am GPs:
Behind Closed Doors. A young boy
with an unusually high temperature
causes concern (r) 4.00 My Mum’s
Hotter Than Me! (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine Designs (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
9.30 Still Game Isa is excited when
an old flame returns, and before
long romance is blossoming.
Last in the series
10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby
chairs the debate in Liverpool,
with a panel of politicians and
other guests facing topical
questions from the audience
11.45 Live Commonwealth Games
2018 JJ Chalmers introduces
coverage of day nine, featuring
the long jump, javelin and
800m in the heptathlon, and
the women’s pairs lawn bowls
medal matches. Elsewhere, Tom
Daley is aiming to regain the
Commonwealth synchronised
10m diving title alongside his
partner Dan Goodfellow
8.30 The Cruise: Sailing the
Caribbean Marcella makes the
final preparations for a wedding
ceremony on board (2/3)
10.45 Uefa Europa League Highlights
Action from the quarter-final
second-lleg matches — CSKA
Moscow v Arsenal, Sporting
Lisbon v Atletico Madrid, FC
Red Bull Salzburg v Lazio, and
Marseille v RB Leipzig
11.15 Secret Agent Selection: WW2
People undergo the training
programme of the Special
Operations Executive, a covert
British military organisation
established during the
Second World War (1/5) (r)
11.45 Play to the Whistle With guests
Michail Antonio, Judy Murray
and Joel Dommett (5/6) (r)
12.15am Sign Zone: Reggie Yates —
Searching for Grenfell’s Lost Lives (r)
(SL) 1.15 MasterChef (r) (SL) 2.15
Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the
Lobby. Working in Ireland’s Ashford
Castle (r) (SL) 3.15 Weather for the
Week Ahead 3.20 BBC News
12.40am Lethal Weapon. Riggs and
Murtaugh are thrown into the world
of counterfeit money (r) 1.25
Jackpot247 3.00 OAP Bootcamp:
Tonight. Improving the health of
over-65s (r) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen 5.05
The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
46 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Dukes of Hazzard
Thursday 12 | Primetime digital guide
Seann William Scott and
Johnny Knoxville star
alongside a Dodge Charger
5Star, 8pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 The Sky at Night The
latest results from NASA’s
Curiosity and ESA’s
ExoMars TGO missions
8.00 Commonwealth Games
Extra Extended highlights
from day eight, with
athletics finals taking place
at the Carrara Stadium,
along with beach volleyball
at Coolangatta Beachfront
9.00 Putin, Russia & the West
The former Ukraine
president Leonid Kuchma
tells the inside story of his
country’s 2004 election (R)
10.00 Law and Order Drama
telling the story of an
investigation from four
different perspectives.
See Viewing Guide (R)
11.20-12.20am Totally British: 70s
Rock ’n’ Roll Archive
performances by artists
including Ducks Deluxe
and Dr Feelgood (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote The
funeral of a blues legend
plunges Jessica into the
middle of a murder mystery
that has remained unsolved
for 20 years (R)
8.00 Vera Sergeant Stuart
Macken is left badly burned
when his house is
petrol-bombed, while his
teenage daughter fights for
her life in intensive care.
Vera tries to discover why
anyone would attempt to kill
her former colleague (R)
10.00-12.05am My Boy Jack Daniel
Radcliffe stars as Jack, the
son of the poet Rudyard
Kipling who signed up for
battle in the First World War
and never returned home.
His parents, played by David
Haig and Kim Cattrall,
searched for years to find
out what became of their
boy and in so doing
changed attitudes to war (R)
6.55pm The Secret Life of the Zoo
While a chameleon meets a
new partner, two jaguars are
being encouraged to mate,
but one does not seem to be
romantically inclined (R)
7.55 Grand Designs A couple
who have bought a disused
solarium in Bournemouth to
convert into a penthouse,
only to face serious
difficulties (R)
9.00 The Good Fight Adrian and
Diane represent a television
network planning to air a
segment that could derail a
movie star’s career
10.15 The Undateables A trainee
accountant with a stammer
feels the time is right to face
his fear of talking to girls so
he can find a partner (R)
11.15-12.20am 24 Hours in A&E
A 45-year-old woman
undergoes an emergency
procedure after collapsing
with a heart attack (R)
6.55pm FILM X-Men (12, 2000)
Mutant outsiders with
strange powers fight to
defend mankind from a
superhuman terrorist
faction. Sci-fi comic-book
adventure starring Hugh
Jackman, Patrick Stewart
and Ian McKellen
9.00 FILM A Bigger Splash (15,
2015) A rock star recovering
from surgery finds her
peaceful Mediterranean
retreat disrupted by the
arrival of a former lover.
Drama starring Tilda
Swinton and Ralph Fiennes.
See Film Choice
11.30-1.20am FILM As Above, So
Below (15, 2014)
Archaeologists fall victim to
strange forces preying on
their dark secrets while
exploring a network of
underground tunnels.
Horror with Perdita Weeks.
See Film Choice
7.00pm The Simpsons Selma flies
to China to adopt a baby (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer
moves into a camper van
parked in the backyard (R)
8.00 Arrow Nyssa al Ghul returns
to warn Thea she is the next
target of a group of League
of Assassin members
9.00 SEAL Team A mission to
bring in a Serbian war
criminal is blown when the
target’s bodyguard
recognises Jason
10.00 In the Long Run Walter and
Agnes step in to save their
god-daughter Cynthia’s
engagement party
10.30 Football’s Funniest
Moments Comical incidents
from the football world (R)
11.00 The Force: North East The
cells fill up during a busy
Saturday night (R)
12.00-1.00am Air Ambulance ER
The team sets out to rescue
a trapped driver (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A
photographer is killed (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Frank Reagan
deals with the fallout of an
accidental shooting (R)
9.00 Billions Chuck faces a
dilemma when he’s given a
directive. Taylor and Wags
interview a different type of
employee (3/12)
10.10 Silicon Valley Richard tries
to micro-manage the new
team members’ quarrels
10.45 Our Cartoon President
The President boosts his
evangelical base by
embracing Christianity
11.20 Our Cartoon President The
President tries to affirm
masculinity by throwing out
the first pitch at a baseball
game. Last in the series
11.55-12.30am Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver A satirical
look at a range of news and
pop culture topics (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold An alphabetical selection of
camcorder calamities
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men Alan is
visited by Charlie’s ghost
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 Celebrity Juice With Richard
Blackwood and Gary Lucy
10.50 Family Guy
11.15 Family Guy
11.40-12.10am American Dad!
6.35pm Storage Wars: Texas
7.05 Pawn Stars
7.30 Pawn Stars
8.00 The Big Fish Off With Linford
Christie and Katharine Merry
9.00 FILM The Man with the
Golden Gun (PG, 1974) James Bond
is drawn into a battle of wits with a
wily assassin. Adventure starring
Roger Moore and Christopher Lee
11.30-1.30am FILM Universal
Soldier: Regeneration (18, 2009)
Sci-fi thriller sequel starring
Jean-Claude Van Damme
7.00pm Hollyoaks
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers
8.00 The Big Bang Theory Howard
and Raj find a drone in the yard
8.30 Young Sheldon The Cooper
men plan a trip to Cape Canaveral
9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Terry,
Jake and Rosa go undercover
9.30 Derry Girls
10.00 The Inbetweeners
10.30 The Windsors
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35-12.05am The Big Bang
Theory Leonard asks a woman out
7.00pm Last Man Standing
7.30 Last Man Standing
8.00 FILM The Dukes of Hazzard
(12, 2005) Bo and Luke Duke
discover a corrupt commissioner is
plotting to strip-mine their entire
town. Comedy starring Seann
William Scott and Johnny Knoxville
10.00 Empire The Lyon family
attempts to pick up the pieces
11.00 Extraordinary People: 30
Inches Tall and Turning 18 A young
woman with dwarfism
12.00-1.05am Wentworth Prison
6.35pm FILM Echo of Diana (U,
1963) Thriller starring Vincent Ball
7.50 Glimpses: A Scouting
Competition in 1952
8.00 Gideon’s Way The detective
tries to prove a dying man’s
deathbed accusation
9.00 FILM Hunted (U, 1952) A boy
fleeing his foster home embarks on
a trek to Scotland with a murderer.
Melodrama with Dirk Bogarde
10.45-12.25am FILM The Vicious
Circle (U, 1957) Thriller starring
John Mills and Derek Farr
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Smiler takes up dancing
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
8.00 Death in Paradise Richard
Poole meets a sticky end
9.00 The Doctor Blake Mysteries
A member of staff is found dead at
the hospital and a former morgue
attendant is the prime suspect
10.00 New Tricks The detectives
reinvestigate a 30-year-old heist
11.20 Birds of a Feather Prison life
takes its toll on Darryl
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Hunting Down the Nazis
8.00 War Above the Trenches
Documentary about the First
World War Royal Flying Corps.
See Viewing Guide
9.00 The Two Ronnies
10.00 The Two Ronnies
10.40 Whatever Happened to the
Likely Lads? First episode of the
classic comedy sequel
11.20 Whatever Happened to the
Likely Lads? Terry arrives home
12.00-12.40am Whatever
Happened to the Likely Lads?
7.00pm Police Interceptors
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
9.00 Traffic Cops: Under Attack
Thieves smash through closed
level crossing barriers
10.00 World’s Toughest Prisons
New series. Life inside six of the
toughest prisons in the world,
beginning with San Pedro Prison in
La Paz, Bolivia, where the inmates
rule and anarchy prevails
11.00 The X-Files Mulder and
Scully investigate a militant group
12.00-1.00am The X-Files
7.00pm QI XL An extended edition,
with Sarah Millican, Tommy
Tiernan and Josh Widdicombe
8.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit With
Katherine Ryan and Phil Wang
9.00 QI XL With Ronni Ancona,
Dave Gorman and Lee Mack
10.00 Not Going Out Lucy has to
look after her god-daughter
10.40 Not Going Out The gang
spends a weekend on a boat
11.20 Mock the Week With Josh
Widdicombe and Milton Jones
12.00-12.40am QI
6.50pm How to Start a Revolution
Professor Gene Sharp discusses his
book on non-violent revolution
7.55 The Crusaders’ Lost Fort
Investigating the downfall of a
12th-century Crusader fortress
9.00 The Mystery of the Black
Death Investigation into the
causes of the lethal disease
10.05 Jazz A period of transition in
the 1950s and 1960s as the
spotlight fell on rock ‘n’ roll
11.20-12.20am The Crusaders’ Lost
Fort A 12th-century fortress
7.00pm The Nineties
8.00 Discovering: Marilyn Monroe
9.00 Urban Myths: Marilyn
Monroe and Billy Wilder New
series. Comedy starring Gemma
Arterton. See Viewing Guide
9.30 FILM Some Like It Hot (U,
1959) After witnessing a mob hit,
two musicians don drag and hide
out with an all-girl band. Billy
Wilder’s comedy with Tony Curtis,
Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe
11.45-12.15am Urban Myths:
Marilyn Monroe and Billy Wilder
7.00pm The Real A&E
7.30 The Real A&E
8.00 Elementary Holmes consults
on a double homicide
9.00 Madam Secretary Jay and
Kat devise a way to help
persecuted foreign LGBTQ citizens
10.00 Scandal Cyrus revels in
being America’s newest hero
11.00 Criminal Minds A copycat
continues the work of a serial killer
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A cosmetic surgeon’s
patients die mysteriously
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 Deep State
10.00 American Dad! A serial killer
crashes Francine’s dinner party
10.30 Family Guy
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Classic Car Rescue
9.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A Murder
Declassified The team explores
Tesla’s death. Last in the series
10.00 Street Justice: The Bronx
11.00 Mysteries of the Missing
12.00-1.00am Tesla’s Death Ray:
A Murder Declassified
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
8.00 Car SOS A Japanese
off-roader with engine problems
9.00 Wicked Tuna
10.00 Science of Stupid
10.30 Science of Stupid
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Strippers: Cars for
Cash Scrap metal challenge
7.00pm Friends
7.30 Friends
8.00 FILM John Tucker Must Die
(12, 2006) Romantic comedy
starring Jesse Metcalfe
10.00 FILM Bachelorette (15, 2012)
Comedy starring Kirsten Dunst
12.00-12.30am The Chris Ramsey
Show Topical chat show
7.00pm You Rang, M’Lord? A
fancy dress party is planned
8.00 Dad’s Army
8.40 Only Fools and Horses
9.20 Harry Enfield and Chums
10.00 Harry Enfield and Chums
10.40 Two Doors Down
11.20-12.25am Jack Dee Live at the
Apollo With Omid Djalili
7.00pm My Dream Home
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Thailand’s Drug Craze:
Stacey Dooley Investigates
The rise in the use of the
methamphetamine known as yaba
10.00 One Born Every Minute
11.00 Gavin & Stacey
11.40-12.20am Gavin & Stacey
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
5.50pm Rough Stuff (2017)
Comedy adventure starring Gareth
Rickards and Vincent Andriano
8.00 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Thieves attempt a robbery
as a hurricane approaches. Action
thriller starring Toby Kebbell
9.50 Wilson (15, 2017) A lonely
man meets his teenage daughter
for the first time. Comedy drama
starring Woody Harrelson
11.30-1.35am Shin Godzilla (12,
2016) Fantasy starring Hiroki
Hasegawa and Yutaka Takenouchi
6.00pm Mission: Impossible (PG,
1996) Action thriller based on the
1960s television series starring
Tom Cruise and Jon Voight
8.00 Mission: Impossible 2 (15,
2000) A secret agent battles a
former spy-turned-criminal. John
Woo’s action thriller sequel starring
Tom Cruise and Dougray Scott
10.10-12.20am Mission: Impossible
III (12, 2006) A former secret agent
struggles to save his fiancée from a
ruthless arms dealer. Action thriller
sequel starring Tom Cruise
7.00pm Ice Age (U, 2002)
Animated adventure with the
voices of John Leguizamo
8.30 Coraline (PG, 2009)
Stop-motion animated fantasy with
the voice of Dakota Fanning
10.15 Monster House (PG, 2006)
Three friends discover a creepy
house eats children. Animation
with the voice of Mitchel Musso
11.50-1.30am Ozzy: The Great
Furscape (U, 2016) Animated
adventure featuring the voice of
Jacob Tremblay and Will Sasso
6.40pm Guardians of the Galaxy
Vol 2 (12, 2017) The team must
unravel the mystery surrounding
Peter Quill’s father. Fantasy
adventure starring Chris Pratt
9.00 Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) Mechanic Cade
Yeager continues his fight against
the evil Decepticons. Fantasy
adventure starring Mark Wahlberg
11.45-1.30am Jarhead 3: The Siege
(15, 2016) Militants launch a
surprise attack in the Middle East.
Action thriller with Scott Adkins
4.20pm Lawrence of Arabia (PG,
1962) A British Army officer tries to
unite the Arab nations against the
Turks during the First World War.
Epic drama starring Peter O’Toole
8.00 The Sound of Music (U, 1965)
A cheerful novice nun brings joy
into the lives of seven children.
Musical starring Julie Andrews
10.55-1.00am The Birds (15, 1963)
The residents of a Californian
coastal community are menaced
by sinister birds. Alfred Hitchcock’s
thriller starring Tippi Hedren
Tippi Hedren is menaced by our
feathered friends in Hitchcock’s
The Birds (Sky Classics, 10.55pm)
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 47
1G R
Thursday 12
Sports guide
Live Golf
Sky Sports Golf, 3pm
Radio guide
Radio 1
The RBC Heritage gets under
way today at Hilton Head,
South Carolina. Luke Donald’s
run of near-misses at the
tournament continued last
year when he finished runnerup in the event for the fifth
time. Donald, pictured, missed
a long birdie putt on the last
and was beaten by Wesley
Bryan, the American rookie,
who won by one shot. Will 2018
be the year Donald’s luck in
South Carolina finally turns? JC
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw
10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills
4.00 Greg James 5.45
Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 Charlie
Sloth 11.00 BBC Radio 1’s
Residency 1.00am Toddla T
3.00 Ray Moss No Stone
Unturned 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
11.00am LIVE European Tour
Golf: The Open de España
1.00pm LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The RBC Heritage
3.00 LIVE Indian Premier
League: Sunrisers Hyderabad
v Mumbai Indians
7.30-10.00 LIVE EFL:
Bradford City v Shrewsbury
Town (Kick-off 7.45)
2.45-4.45 LIVE Formula 1:
The Chinese Grand Prix
11.30 La Liga Show
12.00-12.30am MLS
Round-Up Show
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League: Sunrisers
Hyderabad v Mumbai Indians
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
5.00am Vanessa Feltz
6.30 Fearne Cotton 9.30
Trevor Nelson 12.00 Jeremy
Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright
5.00 Simon Mayo 7.00 Bob
Harris Country 8.00 Jo Whiley
10.00 The Radio 2 Arts Show
12.00 Craig Charles (r) 2.00am
Radio 2’s Tracks of My Years
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
11.00am LIVE European Tour
Golf: The Open de España
1.00pm LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The RBC Heritage
4.00 LIVE European Tour
Golf: The Open de España
6.00-11.00 LIVE PGA Tour
Golf: The RBC Heritage
Sky Sports Football
BT Sport 1
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
11.00am One2Eleven
11.30 SPFL Greatest Games
12.00 Capital One Cup Final
1.00pm La Liga Icons
2.00 Capital One Cup Final
3.00 Greatest Players
3.30 Greatest Teams
4.00 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games
4.30 La Liga Greatest Games
5.00 Football Years
5.30 Football Countdowns
6.00 MLS Round-Up Show
6.30 Revista De La Liga
7.00 EFL Midweek Goals:
Championship
7.30 LIVE EFL: Bradford City
v Shrewsbury Town
10.00 The Debate
11.00 EFL Midweek Goals:
Championship
4.00pm-Midnight LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Claro Open
Colsanitas From Bogota
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Pachelbel
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Beethoven (String
Quartet in E minor, Op 59 No 2
— Razumovsky); Dutilleux
(String Quartet — Ainsi lanuit)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Ralph Vaughan Williams’
opera The Poisoned Kiss,
performed by the BBC National
Orchestra of Wales — under
the baton of Richard Hickox
— as it celebrates its 90th
anniversary. Plus, BBC National
Orchestra of Wales perform
William Mathias’s In Arcadia
conducted by conductor
Tadaaki Otaka
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 The percussion finalists
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Ravel (La Valse); Beethoven
(Piano Concerto No 4);
and Berlioz (Symphonie
Fantastique)
10.00 Free Thinking
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Late Junction
12.30am Through the Night
BT Sport 2
Radio 4
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
Sky Sports Premier
League
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
9.00am Best PL Goals:
Manchester Derby
9.30 PL World
10.00 PL Daily
11.00 The Debate
12.00 PL World
12.30pm PL Greatest Games
1.00 PL 100 Club
2.00 PL Best Goals 15/16
3.00 PL Years
5.00 PL World
5.30 PL 100 Club
6.00 Premier League Today
6.30 PL 100 Club
7.00 PL World
7.30 PL Match Pack
8.00 PL Today
8.30 PL World
9.00 PL Best Goals 15/16
10.00 The Debate
11.00 PL Match Pack
11.30 Best PL Goals:
Chelsea v Man Utd
12.00-1.00am PL Best Goals
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
7.00pm-10.30 LIVE Premier
League Darts From Sheffield
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
10.50am-12.45pm LIVE NRL:
Sydney Roosters v South
Sydney Rabbitohs
7.30-10.00 LIVE Betfred
Super League Widnes
Vikings v Hull FC
Sky Sports F1
SKY 406 VIRGIN 516
2.45am-4.45 LIVE Formula 1:
The Chinese Grand Prix
7.30pm-10.45 LIVE UEFA
Europa League: CSKA
Moscow v Arsenal
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
10.00am-4.00pm LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Samsung Open
In Lugano, Switzerland
4.30-6.30 LIVE WTA Tennis
Further action
8.00-10.00 LIVE UEFA
Europa League
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
9.00 In Our Time
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
By Alberto Manguel (4/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour At
10.45 Drama: How Does
That Make You Feel? (4/5)
Today’s picks
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
Radio 4, 6.30pm
Assignment: The
Child Saver of Mosul
World Service, 10.06pm
Perhaps it was Stephen
Hawking’s cameo in the first
episode, but the airing of the
last in this series seems to mark
the end of an era. Hitchhiker’s
Guide feels as though it belongs
to a more innocent time, when
sci-fi was sci-fi and not incipient
sci-fact. If you can keep a handle on all the jargon that
threatens, at times, to swamp it, it’s mildly entertaining. The
jargon isn’t new — the original Hitchhiker was awash with
Zaphod Beeblebroxes and whatnot — it just somehow wore
them lightly. This doesn’t, so brace yourself not only for the
imminent end of humanity, but also for sentences so sluggish
that you find yourself wishing that the end would come a bit
faster. It’s all right, though. It stars Jim Broadbent and John
Lloyd and has some excellent observations on religion.
Catherine Nixey
If only the children in The
Silver Sword had bumped
into their own Sukaina
Mohamed Younes. She is
astonishing. A council official
in the battered Iraqi city of
Mosul, she has decided to
find and identify all the
missing children in the
former Islamic State
stronghold and reunite
them with their families.
A controversial task as she
treats victims of Isis and
children of Isis equally.
Because, as she says: “They
are all just children, they
are all innocent.” CN
11.00 Crossing Continents
11.30 Cold Art
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: How We’re Loved
A young woman with
cerebral palsy has to unravel
secrets about her past. By
Francesca Martinez
3.00 Open Country
3.27 Radio 4 Appeal (r)
3.30 Open Book (r)
4.00 The Film Programme
4.30 BBC Inside Science
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Hitchhiker’s Guide
to the Galaxy: Hexagonal
Phase. See Choice (6/6)
7.00 The Archers There is
tension at Home Farm and Lexi
attends the surrogacy clinic
7.15 Front Row
7.45 How Does That Make You
Feel? (4/5) (r)
8.00 The Briefing Room
8.30 In Business
9.00 BBC Inside Science (r)
9.30 In Our Time (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich By John Updike. Harry
and Janice go on holiday to
the Caribbean — along with
four very adventurous friends.
Abridged by Robin Brooks and
read by Toby Jones
11.00 Beef and Dairy Network
11.30 The Digital Human (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Packing My Library
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 5 Live Breakfast
10.00 The Emma Barnett
Show with Clare McDonnell
1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive
7.00 5 Live Sport 8.00 5 Live
Sport: Commonwealth Games
2018. A round-up of the day’s
events 9.30 5 Live Formula 1
10.00 Question Time Extra
Time 1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast 10.00 Jim
White, Ray Parlour and Bob
Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Darren Gough
7.00 Live Kick-off: CSKA
Moscow v Arsenal (Kick-off
8.05) 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with
Adam Catterall
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Marriage Lines 8.30
The Goon Show 9.00
Listomania 9.30 HR 10.00
Jude the Obscure 11.00
Missing 11.15 The Man on the
Green Bicycle (r) 12.00
Marriage Lines 12.30pm The
Goon Show 1.00 White Heat
1.30 Old Photographs Fever:
The Search for China’s
Pictured Past 2.00 The Essex
Serpent 2.15 Disability: A New
History 2.30 Tristram Shandy
2.45 On Her Majesty’s Secret
Service 3.00 Jude the
Obscure 4.00 Listomania
4.30 HR 5.00 North by
Northamptonshire 5.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
6.00 The Scarifyers: The King
of Winter 6.30 Great Lives
7.00 Marriage Lines 7.30 The
Goon Show 8.00 White Heat
8.30 Old Photographs Fever:
The Search for China’s
Pictured Past 9.00 Missing
9.15 The Man on the Green
Bicycle (r) 10.00 Comedy
Club: The Hitchhiker’s Guide
to the Galaxy — Hexagonal
Phase 10.30 Sketchorama
11.00 Wondermentalist
Cabaret 11.30 Bleak
Expectations
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The
Thought Show 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 The Food Chain 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30
Assignment 2.00 Newshour
3.00 News 3.06 The Inquiry
3.30 Business 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 Outlook
7.00 The Newsroom 7.30
Sport Today 8.00 News
8.06 The Inquiry 8.30
Science in Action 9.00
Newshour 10.00 News 10.06
Assignment. See Choice
10.30 The Food Chain 11.00
News 11.06 The Newsroom
11.20 Sports News 11.30
Business 12.06am The
Thought Show 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 Newsroom 2.30
Assignment 3.00 News 3.06
HARDtalk 3.30 Football 4.00
News 4.06 Outlook
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00
Steve Lamacq 6.00 Steve
Lamacq’s Roundtable 7.00
Marc Riley. Features and new
music 9.00 Gideon Coe
12.00 Steve Lamacq 1.00am
The Celluloid Jukebox
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 Nicholas
Owen 1.00pm Anne-Marie
Minhall 5.00 Classic FM Drive
7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00
The Full Works Concert.
Catherine Bott continues
Classic FM’s celebration of
the Philharmonia Orchestra,
and she begins with a
curtain-raiser by Weber
10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Jane Jones
48 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Friday 13 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice
The City & the City
BBC Two, 9pm
In the retro-dystopian world of
Beszel, Inspector Borlu (David
Morrissey, pictured) is like
Sam Spade with a masochistic
streak. “I appreciated a
beating every now and again,”
his weary voiceover mutters
as he gets battered by thugs
in a nocturnal backstreet
gutter. “It sharpened me up.”
Morrissey manfully carries
this gloomy, stylishly shot
adaptation of China Miéville’s
acclaimed novel, an unusual
kind of police mystery. Last
week’s first episode
introduced us to the hangdog
Borlu as he got on the case of
a young woman’s corpse in
Beszel, a place where the rain
comes down hard and the
lightbulbs don’t seem to
go higher than 40 watts.
This week he travels to the
off-limits, co-existent city of
Ul Qoma, a wealthier place,
but by no means any cheerier.
In this parallel murkhole,
smoking is an almost
hangable offence (not much
good for a hard-bitten
detective) and Borlu is
frustrated at having to bend
to his frosty Ul Qoma superior,
Senior Detective Dhatt. As he
discovers more about the life
of the victim in the
investigation, he is reminded
of his long-vanished wife (in
flashbacks) — the emerging
question is whether solving
the case will help him to learn
the truth about her. However,
plot details feel less relevant
to one’s enjoyment of the
series than the look, the
sense of character and the
bigger ideas flying around.
The way in which Beszel
and Ul Qoma’s inhabitants
are unable not just to
acknowledge each other,
but even see each other, is
a persuasive metaphor for
our modern cities.
James Jackson
Further recommendations
Blade Runner 2049, an even more eye-popping dystopian
thriler, is available to buy or rent from the Sky Store (from £5.49)
BBC Young
Musician
Nat King Cole:
Afraid of the Dark
The Nineties
Episodes
Sky Arts, 9pm
BBC Two, 10pm
BBC Four, 7.30pm
BBC Four, 9pm
The talent on display continues
to be hugely impressive as the
competition moves into the
percussion category final. The
youngest competitor bringing
modern repertoire to life in
Birmingham is just 15 years old.
The chairwoman of the jury,
the composer Kerry Andrew, is
joined by Bulgarian-born
Daniella Ganeva, a pioneer of
solo percussion and one of the
finest marimba artists around,
and Owen Gunnell, a BBC
Young Musician finalist who
has gone on to a successful
career around the world.
Tonight may get loud. JJ
A worthy repeat of this 2014
feature-length portrait of Nat
King Cole, filled, as you would
expect, with that wonderful
velvet croon. Most notably, it
sets his success against the
context of the racism that he
and his family suffered. We see
him on stage in skin-lightening
make-up (to cater to white
audiences). There’s also the
story of how he moved to a
Los Angeles suburb where
neighbours said they didn’t
want any “undesirables”.
Brilliantly, Cole agreed, saying
that if any arrived he would let
his neighbours know. JJ
The entertaining look at the
most game-changing aspects
of the 1990s turns its focus to
Bill Clinton, the world’s first
rock’n’roll president. When he
romped to victory over George
Bush in 1992 he was a bright
new dawn, a sax player who
admitted to having smoked
dope (but not inhaling), who
schmoozed with Bono and
knew Martin Luther King’s “I
have a dream” speech by heart.
The romping continued once
he was in the White House and
tonight’s edition, inevitably,
ends up with his impeachment
trial. Clinton’s roguish twinkle
was irresistible to many, but
not to Kenneth Starr. JJ
How much more can this
cynical satire squeeze out of
Matt LeBlanc’s libido? The
fallout of his tryst with a girl
from his game show continues
— his young sons have seen
the sex tape of it online. Now
that would be an awkward
fatherly chat. And it’s still a
show full of sharp lines about
acting, scriptwriting and
Hollywood ego. Witness Sean
(Stephen Mangan) advising
LeBlanc on TV pitches coming
his way: “Nix anything that
says ‘comes to realise’. Because
whatever it is, the network will
insist you ‘come to realise’ it by
the end of the pilot, so then
you’ve got no show.” JJ
Catch
up
Save Me
Sky Box Sets/Now TV
Lennie James co-wrote and
stars in this six-part
thriller from the
makers of Line of
Duty. James
is rough
diamond
Nelson
“Nelly”
Rowe, the
alpha
male in
his lively
boozer on
a London
council estate. Nelly’s world is
turned upside down when he is
accused of abducting the
teenage daughter he hasn’t
seen for more than a decade.
Suranne Jones, pictured, plays
the missing girl’s distraught
mother, with Stephen Graham
excelling in a difficult role as
a convicted paedophile.
Everything about it reeks of
authenticity, from the
gripping interrogation
scenes to the vivid
portrait of life on a
tough estate, and
Jones and James,
pictured, are
superb. A
second
series is
on the
way. JC
Variations
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
7.30pm Live Scrum V: Ulster v Ospreys
(Kick-off 7.35). Ross Harries presents
coverage of the match from the 20th
round of PRO14 fixtures, which takes
place at Kingspan Stadium 9.30-10.30
The City & the City. Borlu suspects a
nationalist group of involvement in
Mahalia’s death 11.05 Episodes 11.35 Front
Row Late 12.10am-12.30 Coast (r)
● Channel As ITV except:
1.15am-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● ITV Wales As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30
Velindre: Hospital of Hope
● STV As ITV except: 2.00pm-5.00 Live
Racing on STV: Grand National Festival
8.00-8.30 Peter & Roughie’s Friday
Football Show. Peter Martin and Alan
Rough round up the latest action
1.15am Teleshopping 2.15 After Midnight
3.15 Tenable (r) 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 UTV
Life. An entertaining and eclectic mix of
stories and studio guests 1.15am
Teleshopping 2.45-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen
(r) 6.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
6.50 Ty Mel (r) 7.00 Meic y Marchog (r)
7.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach (r) 7.30 Nico Nôg (r)
7.40 Digbi Draig (r) 7.50 Twm Tisian (r)
8.00 Cymylaubychain (r) 8.10 Oli Wyn
8.20 Crads Bach y Traeth (r) 8.25 Cled (r)
8.40 Marcaroni (r) 8.55 Bach a Mawr (r)
9.10 Stiw (r) 9.25 Yn yr Ardd (r) 9.35 Nodi
(r) 9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r) 10.00 Hafod
Haul (r) 10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25
Guto Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i
Ffrindiau (r) 10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Meic y
Marchog (r) 11.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach (r)
11.30 Nico Nôg (r) 11.40 Digbi Draig (r)
11.50 Twm Tisian (r) 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Genod y Carnifal (r)
12.30 Band Cymru 2018 (r) 1.30 Llys Nini
(r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Dei a Tom (r) 4.00
Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Larfa (r) 5.05
Crwbanod Ninja (r) 5.30 Gogs (r) 5.35 Y
Gemau Gwyllt (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 6.05 Celwydd Noeth (r) 6.30
Garddio a Mwy (r) 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol
y Cwm 8.25 Codi Hwyl 9.00 News 9 a’r
Tywydd 9.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain
10.05 Bocsio 10.35-11.40 Parch (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
Alien: Covenant (15, 2017)
Sky Movies Premiere, 8pm
Nearly four decades since Ridley Scott’s first Alien burst
spectacularly out of John Hurt’s chest, that aggressive face pack of
a creature is back, and there’s life in the old xenomorph yet, with a
new menagerie of mutants lining up to provide satisfyingly regular
jump scares. It’s the year 2104 and the colonisation vessel
Covenant is heading to a new Earth-like planet. When the crew of
15 are shaken awake, they’re soon in a tangle on a planet full of
plants laced with evil spores. What gives the new film a USP is the
presence of not one but two Michael Fassbenders, playing the
lookalike androids, David and Walter. (122min) Kate Muir
The Entertainer (PG, 1960)
Talking Pictures, 9pm
Laurence Olivier, a fading star
baffled by the new “angry young
men”, asked the angriest of them,
John Osborne, if he had a role for
him. He did — the fading music
hall star Archie Rice. Olivier,
pictured, portrayed Rice at the
Royal Court Theatre in London in
1957 before he and its director, Tony Richardson, brought
The Entertainer to the screen. This heavy-drinking womaniser,
rolling out his mothballed material in Morecambe, is desperate
to stay relevant, despite the family turmoil going on around
him and a rapidly changing world. Olivier is magnificent;
it saved his career, of course, if not Archie’s. (108min)
Chris Bennion
Invictus (12, 2009)
ITV, 10.45pm
Clint Eastwood has always seemed to see the world in black and
white and believe that raw violence wins the day, so who better to
direct an anti-apartheid film that ends in lengthy rucking? Invictus
is the story of Nelson Mandela’s unlikely decision, early in his
presidency, to become a rugby fan and support the once-loathed
symbol of apartheid, the Springboks team. As Mandela, Morgan
Freeman oozes dignity, with his slow baritone and craggy facial
topography. The team’s captain, François Pienaar, was an Afrikaner
and Matt Damon gives a passable impression of a meaty rugger
bloke. Most impressive are the rugby scenes — you can hear gristle
tearing in tendons and the squelch of blood. (133min) KM
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 49
1G R
What is catch-up?
Catch-up TV services, such as the BBC iPlayer, offer recent and archive programmes that you may
have missed, and can be accessed online, on tablet or smartphone. You can watch these shows on
your TV depending on your set-up. If you watch Freeview via a YouView box — or have Sky, Virgin,
Freesat or BT Vision — you’ll find an on-screen guide. Full explanation at thetimes.co.uk/catchup
Friday 13
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Live
Commonwealth Games 2018. Further
coverage on day nine, featuring
athletics, diving, hockey and rugby
sevens 1.00pm BBC News at One;
Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather 1.45 Doctors. Daniel is
concerned when he thinks a child is at
risk from one of his patients 2.15 800
Words. Woody and Smiler evacuate to
the motel 3.00 Escape to the Country.
Sonali Shah searches for properties in
Suffolk 3.45 Money for Nothing. Sarah
Moore transforms items from Dunbar
Recycling Centre (r) 4.30 Flog It!
A special programme featuring
never seen before valuations (r) 5.15
Pointless. Quiz show with Alexander
Armstrong and Richard Osman 6.00
BBC News at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather
6.00am Live Commonwealth
Games 2018. Hazel Irvine presents
continued coverage on day nine of
the Games in Queensland, featuring
the start of the rugby sevens
competition and more lawn bowls
action 9.15 Oxford Street Revealed (r)
10.00 Homes Under the Hammer (r)
11.00 Britain’s Home Truths (r) 11.45
Dom on the Spot 12.15pm Bargain
Hunt (r) 1.00 Commonwealth Games
2018. Jason Mohammad presents
highlights of day nine from
Queensland 5.15 Put Your Money
Where Your Mouth Is. Eric Knowles
and Danny Sebastian attend the
Showdown Auction 6.00 Eggheads.
Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
6.30 Today at the Games. The best
of the action from day nine of the
Commonwealth Games
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine. Entertainment and fashion
news 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose
Women. Interviews and topical
debate from a female perspective
1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Regional
News; Weather 2.00 Live ITV Racing:
Grand National Festival. Ed
Chamberlin and Francesca Cumani
present coverage from Aintree of five
races on the second day of the
prestigious meeting, at 2.20, 2.50,
3.25, 4.05 and 4.40. With analysis
from AP McCoy, Mick Fitzgerald, and
Luke Harvey, commentary by Richard
Hoiles, and reports from Matt
Chapman, Oli Bell and Alice Plunkett
5.00 The Chase. Quiz show hosted by
Bradley Walsh 6.00 Regional News;
Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Hotel Hell (r) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown
3.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r)
4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY
5.00 Four in a Bed (r) 5.30 Star Boot
Sale. The actor Tyger Drew-Honey
puts items up for sale. Last in the
series 6.00 The Simpsons (r) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Mandy, Luke and Oliver are
surprised by a visitor in the village,
while Cindy suggests a mother and
daughter night for Holly (r)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away! (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors. The
doctors treat patients with mental
health problems (r) 1.15 Home and
Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.20 NCIS
Special: Game of Shadows. The team
flies to Israel for a final showdown (r)
3.20 FILM Patient Killer (PG, TVM,
2015) A hypnotherapist haunted by a
client’s suicide wonders if there are
sinister forces at work while treating a
similar patient. Psychological thriller
starring Victoria Pratt 5.00 5 News at
5 5.30 Neighbours. Having gained
access to her former home, Jane
starts an extensive search (r) 6.00
Home and Away. Tori enlists outside
help as she tries to stop Robbo going
to jail (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Lily Allen performs live (7.30pm)
A spring-flowering shrub (8pm)
Matt Damon in Invictus (10.45pm)
I Don’t Like Mondays (8pm)
Jane McDonald’s life story (9pm)
7.00 The One Show Alex Jones hosts
the final edition of the week
7.00 Emmerdale Aaron and Liv
prepare for her day in court
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.30 Sounds Like Friday Night
Featuring Lily Allen, Sam Smith,
James Bay, 5 Seconds of
Summer and Little Mix (2/5)
7.30 Coronation Street Eva reaches
a big decision about the baby
7.00 The Gadget Show A family’s
internet security is put to the
test by a hacker, who discovers
how easy it is to gain access to
their gadgets. Plus, some tips
on how to better protect
yourself online (5/12); followed
by 5 News Update
8.00 I Don’t Like Mondays The guest
Jonathan Ross joins the host
Alan Carr for the show in which
audience members compete to
get the chance to resign live on
air and receive their whole
year’s salary in one go (2/3)
8.00 Springtime on the Farm Kelvin
Fletcher gets to go on a date in
a rhubarb triangle, plus there
are updates from all of the
stories covered earlier in the
week. Last in the series;
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 EastEnders Woody has his eyes
on a new venture
8.30 MasterChef: The Final The last
three cooks are tasked by John
Torode and Gregg Wallace to
produce the best three dishes
of their lives in their bid to
become the show’s 14th
champion. Last in the series
9.30 Have I Got News for You
Hosted by Victoria Coren
Mitchell, with Richard Osman
and Val McDermid (2/9)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.25 BBC Regional News; Weather;
National Lottery Update
10.35 The Graham Norton Show The
host catches up with the stars
of Rampage, Dwayne Johnson
and Naomie Harris. Martin
Freeman discusses the horror
anthology Ghost Stories, while
Roger Daltrey performs (2/13)
11.25 Wannabe New series. Comedy
starring Lily Brazier (1/4)
11.50 Live Commonwealth Games
2018 Coverage as the
penultimate day, featuring the
women’s hockey final, followed
by the men’s and women’s
4x100m relays, the men’s and
women’s cycling road races and
round-robin matches in the
men’s rugby sevens
8.00 Gardeners’ World Monty Don
gets to grips with a new project,
beefs up his borders by dividing
perennials and celebrates
spring-flowering shrubs
8.00 Love Your Garden A couple
who founded a charity to
support bereaved families (2/8)
9.00 The City & the City Borlu
believes the extreme right
nationalist group leader knows
more about Mahalia’s death
than he is prepared to reveal.
See Viewing Guide (2/4)
9.00 Lethal Weapon A secret about
Riggs’ deceased wife is revealed
when he visits his father-in-law
in prison, while Murtaugh tries
to impress Captain Avery
9.00 Gogglebox The households’
instant reactions to what they
are watching on television from
the comfort of their own sofas
9.00 Jane McDonald: My Life Story
Profile of the singer, examining
her rise to fame as one of the
country’s first reality television
stars on the 1998 docusoap
The Cruise and her career as a
performer and presenter
10.00 Episodes Matt tries to secure
confirmation of a new series.
See Viewing Guide (3/7)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.00 Lee and Dean The builders
carry out their first ever job
for a gay couple (3/5)
10.00 Will & Grace Grace returns to
her home town to mark her
late mother’s birthday
10.30 Newsnight With Emily Maitlis
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.30 Will & Grace The best friends
discover a connection between
their parents. Last in the series
11.05 Front Row Late Discussing The
Assassination of Katie Hopkins
and Fascism: A Warning
10.45 FILM Invictus (12, 2009)
Following his election as
president of South Africa,
Nelson Mandela seeks to use
the 1995 Rugby World Cup to
unite a divided South Africa.
Clint Eastwood’s factual drama
starring Morgan Freeman and
Matt Damon. See Film Choice
10.35 8 Out of 10 Cats Aisling Bea is
joined by Joel Dommett and
James Acaster, while Rob
Beckett teams up with Joe
Swash and Roisin Conaty.
Jimmy Carr hosts (10/11) (r)
11.35 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew targets wealthy men in
San Diego (7/9) (r)
12.30am Sign Zone: Last Chance for
Justice — Panorama (r) (SL) 1.00
Civilisations (r) (SL) 2.00 Picasso’s
Last Stand (r) (SL) 3.00 The
Assassination of Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story (r) (SL) 3.45
Weather 3.50 BBC News
8.30 Coronation Street Simon is
accused of stealing Toyah’s
cash, and Carla demands an
explanation from Robert
11.20 Rob Beckett’s Playing for Time
Josh Widdicombe joins the host
to play video games (3/4)
11.50 Rude Tube A parrot that thinks
it is the pop star Sia (9/10) (r)
1.15am Jackpot247. Live gaming 3.00
Take on the Twisters. Julia Bradbury
presents the quiz show where
contestants compete to take on the
eight giant sandtimers, with the more
they keep in play, the more money
they can win (r) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
12.50am FILM Oldboy (18, 2013)
Thriller remake, with Josh Brolin as a
man locked in a cell for 15 years, who
sets out on revenge 2.35 Kiss Me First
(r) (SL) 3.30 Building the Dream (r)
4.25 The Question Jury (r) 5.20 Steph
and Dom’s One Star to Five Star (r)
11.05 Greatest Ever Celebrity Wind
Ups Joe Pasquale revisits
more pranks, including Justin
Bieber’s elaborate trick on
Taylor Swift, and incognito
meet-and-greets with Michael
Bublé and Mark Hamill (5/6) (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am GPs:
Behind Closed Doors. The doctors
treat patients with mental health
problems (r) 4.00 The Great
Yorkshire Bridge (r) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine Designs (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
550 saturday review
1G R
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
Hank Marvin
Friday 13 | Primetime digital guide
The Shadows legend and
his Stratocaster appear in
Joy of the Guitar Riff
BBC Four, 10.30pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm World News Today
7.30 Young Musician 2018 The
percussionist Joby Burgess
joins Josie d’Arby as the
competition continues with
the percussion category
final. See Viewing Guide
9.00 Nat King Cole: Afraid of the
Dark A look into the private
journals of the music
legend, who overcame a
period of racial segregation
and prejudice in America to
become a jazz icon.
See Viewing Guide (R)
10.30 Joy of the Guitar Riff
Exploring the impact of the
guitar riff on popular music
over the past 60 years,
looking at how it became
the foundation on which
rock ‘n’ roll was built (R)
11.30-12.30am Rollermania:
Britain’s Biggest Boy Band
Members of the Bay City
Rollers recall their rise to
fame in the 1970s (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote One of
Jessica’s friends is charged
with murdering her abusive
husband, so the sleuth
sets about proving her
innocence and comes up
with a list of suspects (R)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple
A gathering at the Devon
estate of Miss Marple’s old
school friend Lady Tressilian
leads to murder when the
eccentric Mr Treves tells the
story of an unconvicted
child killer (R)
10.00 The Syndicate Denise is
devastated when her
husband leaves — until
Leanne reminds her he
will come running back
once he knows about their
lottery win (R)
11.05-12.05am Killer Women with
Piers Morgan The story of
Ashley Humphrey, convicted
for shooting another
woman in 2003 (R)
6.55pm The Secret Life of the Zoo
Black rhino Kitani is due to
give birth at Chester Zoo
and help swell the ranks of
the species (R)
7.55 Grand Designs A builder
and his family pursue their
dream of converting a
church into a home, giving
up their jobs and sacrificing
their life savings to do so (R)
9.00 Rough Justice The body of
diamond trader is recovered
from a swimming pool, and
the death looks increasingly
suspicious. In Flemish
10.00 24 Hours in A&E The
60-year-old rail worker Alan
is airlifted to the helipad
after being hit by a
high-speed train (R)
11.05-12.10am 24 Hours in A&E
A baby is rushed in after
suffering a seizure, and a
68-year-old is flown in by air
ambulance having fallen
from a ladder (R)
6.25pm FILM X-Men 2 (12, 2003)
The X-Men are forced into
an uneasy alliance with
arch-enemy Magneto to
battle a common foe.
Superhero adventure sequel
starring Hugh Jackman and
Patrick Stewart
9.00 FILM X-Men: The Last Stand
(12, 2006) The mutant
heroes battle old ally Jean
Grey, returned from the
dead as the destructive
Phoenix. Superhero sequel
starring Hugh Jackman, Ian
McKellen, Patrick Stewart
and Famke Janssen
11.05-12.35am FILM My Entire High
School Sinking into the Sea
(12, 2016) Dash is in
detention when his school is
hit by an earthquake,
causing the building to slide
into the sea and slowly
begin to sink. Animated teen
comedy featuring the voice
of Jason Schwartzman
7.00pm The Simpsons Bart and
Lisa look into the future (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer is
committed to a mental
institution by Marge (R)
8.00 The Simpsons Bart ruins
Krusty’s career
8.30 Modern Family Gloria and
Mitch are invited to a party
at Oprah’s house
9.00 Karl Pilkington: The
Moaning of Life Karl
explores the key factors that
shape people’s identities,
including gender, accents,
hair and clothes (R)
10.00 Sky Sports’ Funniest
Moments: Best Bits Players,
pundits and comics look
back at amusing moments
from Sky Sports (R)
12.00-1.00am A League of Their
Own With the football
manager Sam Allardyce, the
Paralympic cyclist Sarah
Storey and the funnyman
David Walliams (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation Grissom and
Sara investigate the case of
an ice-hockey player killed
during a match (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods A journalist
disappears while working
on an expose about an
innocent man serving time
for murder (R)
9.00 Game of Thrones Jaime
finally visits Tyrion in jail
after some persuasion from
Bronn, and also has a
mission for Brienne. Jon
asks for volunteers to go to
Craster’s Keep (4/10) (R)
10.10 Game of Thrones Cersei
and Tywin plot their next
move after Tommen’s
coronation, and Jon and his
men attack the mutineers at
Craster’s Keep (5/10) (R)
11.10-12.10am Game of Thrones
Stannis and Davos arrive in
Braavos for their meeting
with the Iron Bank (6/10) (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Comical clips
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men Walden
creates the perfect proposal
atmosphere for Zoey’s birthday
9.00 FILM American Pie 2 (15,
2001) The teenage friends get
together after their first year at
college and set out to broaden
their sexual horizons. Comedy
sequel starring Jason Biggs
11.05 Family Guy
11.35-12.05am Family Guy
6.40pm Storage Wars: Texas
7.05 Pawn Stars
7.30 Pawn Stars
8.00 The Virtual Grand National
2018 One-off special aimed at
predicting the outcome of the race
9.00 Car Crash Britain: Caught on
Camera Road accidents
10.00 FILM Rambo: First Blood
Part II (15, 1985) John Rambo
returns on a mission to the jungles
of Vietnam. Action adventure
sequel starring Sylvester Stallone
12.00-1.00am The Americans
7.00pm Hollyoaks
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers A
steampunk flying machine cake
8.00 The Big Bang Theory
8.30 The Big Bang Theory
9.00 FILM GI Joe: Retaliation (12,
2013) An elite military team battles
a terrorist organisation that has
replaced the US president. Action
adventure with Dwayne Johnson
11.10 The Big Bang Theory
11.40-12.05am The Big Bang
Theory Leonard fears that he is
wasting his time with Penny
7.00pm Last Man Standing
7.30 Last Man Standing
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away!
9.00 FILM The Legend of Hercules
(12, 2014) The son of a Greek god
escapes from slavery to reclaim his
rightful kingdom from his evil
stepfather. Mythological adventure
starring Kellan Lutz and Gaia Weiss
11.00-1.05am FILM Pompeii (12,
2014) A gladiator fights to save the
woman he loves as the ancient
Roman city faces destruction.
Disaster movie with Kit Harington
6.40pm FILM The Flaw (U, 1955)
An auto racer plans to kill his
heiress wife; then her lawyer finds
out. Thriller starring John Bentley
7.55 Glimpses: The Lake District in
1955 Footage of Lake Windermere
8.00 Gideon’s Way
9.00 FILM The Entertainer (PG,
1960) John Osborne’s drama with
Laurence Olivier. See Film Choice
11.05-12.40am FILM Our Relations
(U, 1936) A bumbling duo are
mistaken for their twin brothers.
Comedy starring Laurel and Hardy
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
A man believes he has been cursed
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Barry competes with a neighbour
8.00 Miss Fisher’s Murder
Mysteries Phryne discovers a
gruesome murder
9.00 WPC 56 A predator targets
contestants in a beauty pageant
10.00 New Tricks The team
reopens the case of a
palaeontologist’s murder
11.20 Birds of a Feather
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Rallying: The Killer Years
8.00 Operation Grand Canyon
with Dan Snow An expedition
9.00 Whatever Happened to the
Likely Lads? First episode
9.40 Whatever Happened to the
Likely Lads? Terry arrives home
10.20 Whatever Happened to the
Likely Lads? Bob has doubts
11.00 Private Lives of the
Monarchs Tracy Borman explores
the decadent court of Charles II
12.00-1.00am The World’s
Weirdest Weapons
7.00pm Police Interceptors
Ben Sutcliffe takes Rick Edwards
through interceptor training
8.00 Car Crash TV Events caught
by dashboard-mounted cameras
9.00 The A-Team The gang helps
stop mobsters taking over a boys’
club. Hulk Hogan guest stars
10.00 Sinkholes: Sucked Under
Investigating sinkholes caused by
collapsed mine shafts
11.00-1.00am Impact Wrestling
Innovative high-risk matches and
interviews with the stars
7.00pm QI XL With Cariad Lloyd
8.00 Into the Fire Firefighters
tackle a blaze in Birmingham
9.00 Fawlty Towers Basil goes to
great lengths to prove a guest has
smuggled a woman into his room
9.45 Fawlty Towers A guest’s
death plunges the hotel into chaos
10.25 Fawlty Towers Sybil walks
out on Basil on their anniversary
11.00 Have I Got a Bit More News
for You Victoria Coren Mitchell
hosts an extended edition
12.00-12.40am QI
6.40pm Lusitania: 18 Minutes That
Changed World War One
Docudrama about the sinking of
the passenger liner by a U-boat
7.55 The Search for Alfred the
Great A team trying to locate the
remains of the 9th-century king
9.10 Dam Busters: The Race to
Smash the German Dams
10.20 Jazz The decreasing
popularity of jazz in the 1960s
11.35-12.40am The Search for
Alfred the Great Locating the
remains of the 9th-century king
7.00pm Johnny Cash: Song by
Song The story behind the singer
and his wife’s version of Jackson
7.30 Dolly Parton: Song by Song
8.00 Video Killed the Radio Star
Metallica’s most famous videos
8.30 Discovering: Foo Fighters
9.00 The Nineties A look at Bill
Clinton’s controversial presidency.
See Viewing Guide
10.00 Foo Fighters: Austin City
Limits The rock band perform
11.15-12.15am Brian Johnson’s A
Life on the Road With Lars Ulrich
7.00pm The Real A&E A family is
trapped following a road accident
7.30 The Real A&E A 12-year-old
footballer receives bad news
8.00 America’s Next Top Model
Reality series in which aspiring
models compete for a contract
9.00 Nashville Daphne struggles
to accept Deacon and
Jessie’s relationship
10.00 The Enfield Haunting
11.00 The Enfield Haunting
12.00-1.00am The Enfield
Haunting Supernatural drama
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
W
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 NCIS The team makes a deal
with a convicted murderer
10.00 Bull The consultant helps
the FBI deal with a hacker
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Gold Rush: Parker’s Trail
9.00 Cars That Rock with Brian
Johnson Documentary
10.00 The Route Masters:
Running London’s Roads
11.00 Wheeler Dealers
12.00-1.00am Cars That Rock with
Brian Johnson Rolls Royce
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation An
engine failure in Qantas Flight 32
8.00 Car SOS
9.00 Car SOS
10.00 Supercar Megabuild
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Strippers: Cars for
Cash The teams scour scrapyards
looking for 1980s hatchbacks
7.00pm Friends
8.00 Your Face or Mine
8.30 Impractical Jokers: Inside
Jokes Behind the scenes
9.00 Live at the Apollo
10.00 Bob’s Burgers
10.30 Bordertown
11.00 South Park
12.00-12.30am TripTank
7.00pm You Rang, M’Lord?
8.00 Dad’s Army Mainwaring
tackles a suspected terrorist
8.40 Only Fools and Horses
9.20 The Vicar of Dibley
10.00 The Vicar of Dibley
10.40 Mrs Brown’s Boys
11.20 Bridget & Eamon
11.55-12.30am Smack the Pony
7.00pm My Dream Home
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 999 Rescue Squad HART
staff must treat one of their own
following a freak accident
10.00 Embarrassing Bodies
11.00 Gavin & Stacey
11.40-12.20am Russell Howard’s
Good News From November 2015
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Animation
Sky Action
Sky Classics
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.20pm The Emoji Movie (U, 2017)
Animation featuring the voices of
TJ Miller and James Corden
8.00 Alien: Covenant (15, 2017)
Colonists have their mission to
populate an alien planet diverted
by a mysterious signal. Sci-fi
thriller. See Film Choice
10.10 The Hurricane Heist (12,
2018) Action thriller starring Toby
Kebbell and Maggie Grace
12.00-1.40am Wilson (15, 2017)
Comedy drama starring Woody
Harrelson and Sandy Oian-Thomas
5.50pm The Sum of All Fears (12,
2002) Action thriller starring Ben
Affleck and Morgan Freeman
8.00 Kidulthood (15, 2005) West
London teenagers try to deal with
the shocking effects of gun crime,
drugs and bullying. Urban drama
written by and starring Noel Clarke
9.35 The Doors (18, 1991) Biopic of
the 1960s rock star Jim Morrison
starring Val Kilmer and Meg Ryan
12.00-2.45am American Gangster
(18, 2007) Fact-based crime drama
starring Denzel Washington
6.25pm Despicable Me 3 (U, 2017)
Gru sets off to meet his long-lost
twin brother. Animated sequel
featuring the voice of Steve Carell
8.00 Cloudy with a Chance of
Meatballs (U, 2009) Animated
comedy with the voice of Bill Hader
9.35 The Aristocats (U, 1970)
Animated Disney adventure
featuring the voice of Eva Gabor
11.00-1.20am Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark
Side of Dimensions (PG, 2016)
Animated adventure with the
voices of Dan Green and Eric Stuart
5.15pm Central Intelligence (12,
2016) Extended version of the
comedy starring Dwayne Johnson
7.15 Hancock (12, 2008) A PR
executive decides to transform the
image of a drunken superhero.
Comedy starring Will Smith
9.00 Star Trek Beyond (12, 2016)
The crew struggles for survival
after the Enterprise is attacked.
Sci-fi adventure starring Chris Pine
11.15-1.15am xXx: The Return Of
Xander Cage (12, 2017) Action
thriller starring Vin Diesel
5.50pm The Magnificent Seven
(PG, 1960) A loner rounds up a
band of gunslingers to help
Mexican villagers fend off bandits.
Western starring Yul Brynner
8.00 The Godfather (15, 1972) A
crime boss entrusts control of his
business to his sons. Francis Ford
Coppola’s gangster drama starring
Marlon Brando and Al Pacino
11.00-12.40am The Warriors (18,
1979) Members of a New York
gang battle for survival. Action
adventure starring Michael Beck
A space mission turns lethally
horrific in the sequel Alien:
Covenant (Sky Premiere, 8pm)
Sky Atlantic
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 51
1G R
Friday 13
Sports guide
Live Football
Sky Main Event, 7pm
Radio 1
After a dreadful start to the
season, Aston Villa look like a
solid bet to finish in the play-off
places and push for a return to
the Premier League. It’s been
the opposite for Leeds United,
who started well, but faded
away, with manager Thomas
Christiansen sacked in February
after a seven-match winless run.
Paul Heckinbottom, pictured, is
now in charge, as Leeds travel
to Villa Park for tonight’s
Championship match. JC
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
6.45am-8.45 LIVE Formula 1:
The Chinese Grand Prix
11.00 LIVE European Tour
Golf: The Open de España
1.00pm LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The RBC Heritage
3.00 LIVE Indian Premier
League: Royal Challengers
Bangalore v Kings XI Punjab
7.00-10.15 LIVE EFL: Aston
Villa v Leeds United
(Kick-off 7.45)
3.45am-5.15 LIVE Formula 1:
The Chinese Grand Prix
Sky Sports Football
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw
10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills
4.00 MistaJam 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 MistaJam 7.00 Annie Mac
9.00 Pete Tong 11.00 Danny
Howard 1.00am B.Traits 4.00
Radio 1’s Essential Mix
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
8.00-11.00 LIVE PGA Tour
Golf: The RBC Heritage
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
8.30am-10.30 LIVE Super
Rugby: Hurricanes v Chiefs
(Kick-off 8.35)
7.30pm-10.15 LIVE
Championship Rugby Union:
Bristol v Doncaster Knights
(Kick-off 7.45)
4.00am-5.50 LIVE Super
Rugby: Sunwolves v Blues
(Kick-off 4.05)
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
11.30am SPFL Greatest
Games Memorable matches
12.00 La Liga Show
12.30pm Scottish Cup
Greatest Games
1.00 EFL Midweek Goals:
Championship
1.30 La Liga Icons
2.00 La Liga Show
2.30 EFL Midweek Goals:
Championship
3.00 Football’s Greatest
Players Ian Rush
3.30 Football’s Greatest
Teams Nottingham Forest
4.00 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games The 2008/09 season
4.30 La Liga Greatest Games
5.00 La Liga Preview
6.00 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games The 1995/96 season
6.30 EFL Midweek Goals:
Championship
7.00 LIVE EFL: Aston Villa v
Leeds United (Kick-off 7.45)
10.15 The Debate
11.15 La Liga Icons
12.00-3.15am EFL
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
3.00pm-7.30 LIVE Indian
Premier League: Royal
Challengers Bangalore v
Kings XI Punjab
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
11.00am LIVE European Tour
Golf: The Open de España
1.00pm LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The RBC Heritage
4.00 LIVE European Tour
Golf: The Open de España
6.00 LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The RBC Heritage
Radio guide
7.30pm-10.30 LIVE Betfred
Super League: Leeds Rhinos
V Wigan Warriors (Kick-off
7.45) Coverage of the match
from the 11th round of
fixtures, which takes place at
Emerald Headingley Stadium
Sky Sports F1
SKY 406 VIRGIN 516
6.45am-8.45 LIVE Formula 1:
The Chinese Grand Prix
3.45-5.15 LIVE Formula 1: T
he Chinese Grand Prix
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
10.00am-4.00pm LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Samsung Open
4.30-6.30 LIVE WTA Tennis:
The Samsung Open
7.00-10.00 LIVE Aviva
Premiership Rugby Union:
Newcastle Falcons v Sale
Sharks (Kick-off 7.45)
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
11.00am-11.30 LIVE UEFA
Europa League Draw The
draw for the semi-finals
12.00-12.30pm UEFA
Champions League Live
7.15-9.30 LIVE Bundesliga:
VfL Wolfsburg v FC Augsburg
(Kick-off 7.30)
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
10.30am-1.30pm LIVE
AFL: Adelaide Crows v
Collingwood Magpies
4.00-Midnight LIVE WTA
Tennis: The Claro Open
Colsanitas In Bogota
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Fearne Cotton 9.30 Trevor
Nelson 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 Tony
Blackburn’s Golden Hour 8.00
Friday Night Is Music Night
10.00 Sounds of the 80s 12.00
Anneka Rice: The Happening
2.00am Radio 2’s Funky Soul
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Pachelbel
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Beethoven (Piano
Trio in C minor, Op 1 No 3);
and Dvořák (Serenade in
D minor, Op 44)
2.00 Live Afternoon Concert
The BBC National Orchestra
of Wales celebrates its 90th
birthday. Huw Watkins (Three
Welsh songs for string
orchestra); Bruch (Double
Concerto in E minor for
clarinet and viola); Mozart
(Piano Concerto No 22 in E-flat,
K482); Mathias (Symphony
No 3); and Daniel Jones
(Cloud Messenger)
4.30 BBC Young Musician
2018 Highlights
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
The BBC Symphony Orchestra
perform. Elgar (The Starlight
Express — excerpts); Raymond
Yiu (The World Was Once All
Miracle — London Premiere);
Lilian Elkington (Out of the
Mist); and Elgar (The Spirit of
England, Op 80)
10.00 The Verb
10.45 The Essay: One Bar
Electric Memoir
11.00 Music Planet. See Choice
1.00am Through the Night (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
9.00 The Reunion (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Packing My Library
By Alberto Manguel (5/5)
Today’s picks
Music Planet: Kathryn Tickell
with Fatoumata Diawara
in Session
Radio 3, 11pm
The News Quiz
Radio 4, 6.30pm
Radio 3 has given itself a bit
of a refit this month. A minor
shakeup of its schedules, a
general freshening about the
edges. This new Friday evening
show is part of that revamp.
Music Planet is a programme
playing what Radio 3 is still calling world music. It’s a
deliciously antiquated phrase, redolent of a time when Britons
used to refer to everywhere else as “abroad”. It’s also baffling:
if this is world music, where does all the other music come
from? Space? However, let’s give Radio 3 points for playing
a far wider variety of music than most. On tonight’s show
Kathryn Tickell will be speaking to Fatoumata Diawara,
pictured, a singer from Mali, while Cerys Matthews will be
presenting music from the Senegalese singer Mar Seck and
Malian kora player Ballaké Sissoko. Catherine Nixey
10.00 Woman’s Hour
At 10.45 Drama: How Does
That Make You Feel? by
Shelagh Stephenson (5/5)
11.00 The Opt Out
11.30 When the Dog Dies (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front (30/40)
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: The Deletion
Committee By Mark Lawson.
Following pressure from
campaign groups, a wax works
museum feels compelled to
re-evaluate their exhibits
3.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time Horticulture advice
3.45 Short Works
4.00 Last Word
4.30 Feedback
4.55 The Listening Project
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The News Quiz.
See Choice
7.00 The Archers Shula
receives a shock
7.15 Front Row
7.45 How Does That Make
You Feel? (r)
8.00 Any Questions?
8.50 A Point of View
9.00 Home Front Omnibus
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit
Is Rich By John Updike. On the
eve of becoming a father,
Harry’s son Nelson takes
drastic action (10/10)
11.00 Great Lives (r)
11.30 Ramblings (r)
11.55 The Listening Project
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
Packing My Library (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 5 Live Breakfast
10.00 Chiles on Friday
1.00pm The Friday Sports
Panel 2.00 Kermode and
Mayo’s Film Review 4.00
5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport:
The Friday Football Social
9.30 At Home with Colin
Murray 10.00 Stephen Nolan
1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast with Ally
McCoist 10.00 Jim White,
Perry Groves and Bob Mills
1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Darren Gough
7.00 The Season Ticket with
Danny Kelly and Laura Woods
10.00 The Two Mikes 1.00am
Extra Time with Tom Latchem
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am I’m Sorry I’ll Read
That Again 8.30 Brothers in
Law 9.00 It’s Your Round 9.30
After Henry 10.00 Jude the
Obscure 11.00 Podcast Radio
Hour 12.00 I’m Sorry I’ll Read
That Again 12.30pm Brothers
in Law 1.00 White Heat 1.30
Arthur Mee: Encyclopaedist
2.00 The Essex Serpent 2.15
Disability: A New History 2.30
Tristram Shandy 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00
Jude the Obscure 4.00 It’s
Your Round 4.30 After Henry
5.00 The Stanley Baxter
Playhouse 5.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase
6.00 The Scarifyers: The King
of Winter 6.30 Mastertapes
7.00 I’m Sorry I’ll Read That
Again 7.30 Brothers in Law
8.00 White Heat 8.30 Arthur
Mee: Encyclopaedist 9.00
Podcast Radio Hour 10.00
Comedy Club: The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy — Hexagonal Phase
10.30 The Show What You
Wrote 11.00 Kevin Eldon Will
See You Now 11.30 A Look
Back at the Nineties
John Lloyd, who created QI,
The News Quiz and pretty
much everything else good
on the radio, once dismissed
his brilliance in starting these
programmes. “I feel
sometimes I’ve had only one
idea . . . you take a lot of dull
stuff and you make it very
interesting and funny.” Lloyd
also had another idea:
everyone on The News Quiz
had to be a journalist. After
some sluggish years in which
it mainly hosted comedians
peddling their back catalogue,
it’s returning for a new series
using that formula again,
hosted by Miles Jupp. CN
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am The Real Story 10.00
World Update 11.00 The
Newsroom 11.30 World
Football 12.00 News
12.06pm The 5th Floor 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 Heart
and Soul 2.00 Newshour
3.00 News 3.06 Tech Tent
3.30 Business 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 The 5th
Floor 7.00 The Newsroom
7.30 Sport Today 8.00
News 8.06 HARDtalk
8.30 CrowdScience 9.00
Newshour 10.00 News
10.06 Trending 10.30 World
Football 11.00 News 11.06
The Newsroom 11.20 Sports
News 11.30 Business 12.00
News 12.06am The Real
Story 1.00 News 1.06
Business Matters 2.00 News
2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
Heart and Soul 3.00 News
3.06 Global Business 3.30
Stumped 4.06 The Real Story
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00
Steve Lamacq 7.00 Iggy Pop
9.00 Tom Ravenscroft 12.00
Nemone’s Electric Ladyland
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 Nicholas
Owen 1.00pm Anne-Marie
Minhall 5.00 Classic FM Drive
7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00
The Full Works Concert.
Catherine Bott concludes
Philharmonia Week with
a complete performance
of the Orchestra’s new
recording of Rachmaninov’s
Symphony No 2, released a
few days ago 10.00 Smooth
Classics. With Margherita
Taylor 1.00am Katie
Breathwick 4.00 Jane Jones
552 saturday review
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
1G R
MindGames
Samurai Sudoku No 606 — Medium (34min)
8
6
9 5
2
4
8 3
2
6
3
8 3
9
5 2
1
9
7
4
5
6 9
6
2
9 4
7
5
7
6
7 9
1 6
3
8
2
5
1
2 4
3 8
6
7
8
9
8
1 2
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7 6
1
4
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1
5
7
4
2
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1
3
1
2
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6 2
7
8 5
4
2
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5 6
1 4
7
5
3
2
6
7 1
3 2
8
5
9
2
7
3 8
1
7 5
7
5
6
7 4
3
8
5 1
8
2
9
7 9
3
4 9
6
2
4
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Solution to last week’s Samurai Sudoku
4
9
2
3
6
5
1
8
7
7
2
8
1
4
9
6
5
3
3
1
6
8
2
7
9
5
4
5
4
9
3
6
2
8
1
7
8
7
5
4
9
1
3
6
2
6
1
3
7
8
5
9
4
2
2
5
8
6
7
3
4
1
9
3
8
5
9
1
6
2
7
4
9
6
3
1
8
4
2
7
5
4
6
2
5
7
3
1
8
9
7
4
1
2
5
9
8
3
6
9
7
1
8
2
4
5
3
6
1
2
4
5
3
6
7
9
8
4
1
5
2
3
6
4
5
1
7
9
8
5
3
9
7
4
8
6
2
1
3
7
9
8
5
4
2
9
7
3
6
1
6
8
7
9
1
2
5
4
3
2
6
8
1
9
7
6
3
8
4
2
5
8
3
5
7
9
1
6
4
2
2
1
7
6
4
3
5
8
9
9
6
4
8
5
2
7
1
3
8
2
9
4
7
3
1
5
6
9
2
4
3
7
8
5
9
2
4
1
6
6
3
7
5
9
1
4
8
2
5
3
7
9
6
1
7
4
3
8
2
5
5
1
4
2
8
6
3
7
9
1
8
6
4
2
5
8
1
6
9
7
3
3
6
5
1
2
8
7
9
4
2
4
6
1
7
9
3
5
8
1
7
2
9
4
5
8
6
3
8
3
7
4
6
5
2
9
1
9
4
8
3
6
7
5
2
1
5
1
9
2
3
8
6
4
7
7
8
1
6
3
9
2
4
5
1
5
3
6
2
4
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8
9
4
9
3
7
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2
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1
8
6
8
4
9
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7
1
3
2
2
5
6
8
1
4
9
3
7
7
9
2
3
8
1
5
6
4
Our five-grid Sudoku will
test your powers of logic
and deduction — against
the clock.
Fill each grid so that
every column, every row
and every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9. Where the
puzzles overlap, the rows
and columns do not go beyond their usual length. The
interlocking nature of the
grid gives you more clues
— and more complexity.
Remember — don’t try to
solve each Sudoku grid in
turn; the puzzle has to be
tackled as a whole.
Stuck? Call 0901 322 5005
to receive four clues for
any of today’s puzzles.
Calls cost 75p plus your
telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390
(Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm)
Brain Trainer
EASY
9
+3
HARDER
11
156
x8
SQUARE IT
x2
+ 276
+ 46
+ 3/4 OF IT
1/4 OF IT
SQUARE IT
+9
+ 389
+ 1/2 OF IT
3/4 OF IT
– 78
50% OF IT
+ 1/2 OF IT
+7
+ 668
– 99
2/3 OF IT
+4
80% OF IT
+ 777
25% OF IT
1/2 OF IT
ANSWER
+ 76
+ 1/5 OF IT
ANSWER
ANSWER
How to solve Sudoku. Fill the grid so that every column,
every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9
Answers, below right
Stuck on KenKen, Killer or Sudoku?
Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues
for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your
telephone company’s network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Answers
Friday’s solutions
KenKen No 4295
Sudoku No 9781
5
6
2
3
9
8
4
1
7
Killer No 5948 — Deadly (55min)
16
7
15
14
12
5
9
13
12
13
Sudoku No 9782
4
5
2
3
1
6
7
8
9
9
19
20
12
18
17
17
20
24
7
15
7
10
11
8
6
1
9
7
2
4
5
3
7
3
9
5
4
8
2
6
1
6
1
5
2
8
9
3
4
7
9
2
4
6
3
7
5
1
8
3
7
8
4
5
1
6
9
2
1
8
3
7
6
4
9
2
5
5
9
6
8
2
3
1
7
4
3
7
2
6
1
9
8
5
4
4
8
6
5
2
3
1
9
7
1
9
5
8
7
4
6
2
3
7
3
5
4
2
9
8
6
1
Killer No 5946
22
11
14
16
15
6
4
8
3
9
1
5
7
2
5
Fill the grid so that every column, every row and every
3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells
joined by dotted lines must add up to the target
number in its top-left corner. Within each set of cells
joined by dotted lines, a digit cannot be repeated.
For solutions to KenKen, Sudoku & Killer see
Times2 on Monday
9
5
7
4
8
2
3
1
6
2
3
1
7
6
5
4
8
9
5
2
3
9
4
8
7
6
1
7
1
4
2
5
6
9
3
8
7
3
3
1
2
5
4
1
6
3
8
7
9
3
3
2
KenKen No 4296 — Medium
4
2
4
4
4
A
1
Tredoku is similar to Sudoku:
the digits 1 to 9 must appear once
only in each 3x3 box and in each
line of nine consecutive cells.
However, since the puzzle is
three-dimensional, the lines may
be straight or bent around angles.
Follow each line’s direction in
search of clues.
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column.
In each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top
left-hand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells
in the block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
3
5
1
6
2
7
9
8
4
2
8
6
4
1
9
5
7
3
7
4
9
8
5
3
2
6
1
6
2
4
7
8
5
1
3
9
8
9
5
2
3
1
7
4
6
1
3
7
9
6
4
8
2
5
8
4
1
6
5
7
9
2
3
2
9
6
1
8
3
7
4
5
6
7
9
8
3
5
2
1
4
5
8
4
7
1
2
3
9
6
3
1
2
9
6
4
5
7
8
4
5
8
2
9
1
6
3
7
1
2
3
5
7
6
4
8
9
9
6
7
3
4
8
1
5
2
8
3
7
4
9
5
2
1
6
9
6
1
8
2
7
4
5
3
6
2
5
9
4
1
7
3
8
4
7
8
5
3
2
6
9
1
3
1
9
6
7
8
5
2
4
5
8
2
3
1
6
9
4
7
7
9
3
2
8
4
1
6
5
1
4
6
7
5
9
3
8
2
I
M
B
I
B
E
C
Codeword
5
5
Tredoku
No 1520 — Hard
4
1
3
5
7
2
6
9
8
Killer No 5947
8
6
9
1
3
7
2
4
5
Train Tracks No 375
1
9
7
8
1
4
6
3
5
2
Sudoku No 9783
2
4
7
1
9
5
8
3
6
B
Sudoku/Killer © Puzzler Media
KenKen™ Puzzles are used with permission
of Gakken Co Ltd and Nextoy, LLC
Puzzle content © 2009 Gakken Co Ltd
Tredoku © Mindome Ltd 2009. TREDOKU®
is the registered trademark of Mindome
MEDIUM
25
7 6 5
5
7
6
4
3 9
8
5 6
2
3
8
1
4
1
2
9
6
8
8
2 3
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
3
4
Sudoku No 9784 — Fiendish
R E P UB L
A
R O
P ROX Y
T
C
H E RO
O N
T R
PO T A T O
U
R
C
SQU E AK
S W
J O T
AC
U
E
Y
T I D Y
G
O
Y
S
T
E
R
V
Y E
T
RO
E
A S
RM
U
G
G
L
E E
UG
R
I
Z
N Z
L
P I
N
RG
L Y
A
L K
E D
U
R E
L
E
S
U E S T
L
A
N F L Y
The Listener 4494
Overseas Outing
by Chalicea
Extra letters in
wordplay gave
“erase one across;
colour twenty-one;
complete six”. Items
removed were,
Across: 1 snakes 24
boa, 39 boma, 40
langaha; Down:
1 seps, 2 Naia, 19
asp, 20 cobra, 37 Kaa. What remains is the
approximate shape of Ireland, from which
St Patrick is said to have banished snakes,
surrounded by sea(s) (21ac). More details at
listenercrossword.com. The winners are John
Leeming of Richmond, Surrey, K Biggs and
M Palmer of Bristol, and Christopher Hanafin
of Adare, County Limerick, Ireland.
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 53
1G R
Solve Cryptic Quintagram every weekday online
Go to thetimes.co.uk
Cryptic Quintagram® Word Watching
Solve all five cryptic clues using
Josephine Balmer
each letter underneath once only
Spathulate
a. Spoon-shaped
b. To con
c. A type of insect
1 Real purse you’d pick up (5)
-----
2 Canadian territory that surrounds
this country (5)
----time (7)
-4 Last
- -Letter
- -from
- -America, about
historian and apostles’ father (7)
-------
change in place, apparently (8)
-A- -A -A- -A - B-
D
E
E
E
E
I
K
K
K
L
L
M
N
N
O
O
O
P
P
R A U
M
R AW
T
Y I N
E T
A
U N
D
OO
O
F O R
I
R OM
E
U
F A T
I
I
G U N
H
Y
T R I
N
E
R E G
T
W
I
N
P
A
R
A
D
O
X
B
A
S
S
E
T
H
O
U
N
D
G H T
S T R
E
W
T
E
O N O N E S M
R
G
A
U
G
E NM A S
I
N
E
R A C T E D
R
L
U
E
U P
E X P E D
U
M
U
K S H E L F
C
H
N
O
E
E K N OWL E D
I
F
I
A N O V
O N T
E
R
E S
R E C O U
L
O
O
N
R U N N E R
C
M
A
R
H
L B Y
L O V E
E
D
O
A R D
L E I N
O T E M I C
U
I
O
N D U S T R I
O
W
P
O R T O
O V
R
R
E P U D I A T
I
T
E M O B
E X
E
I
H
E N O P H O B
T
E
S
R O A D S P E
A
I
I N G L E T
O
A
L V E S
L O
E
A
I
A L F H I T C
E
A
Y
P T U R N
I
T
A
U E N N A
P
S
T
A
G
E
L
E
F
T
E
X
C
E
L
U
N
H
I
N
G
E
A T
E
E M
P
S E
R
E A
T
I E
E G
I
O R
A
F
F
G E
N T
W
O P P E
R
E
G E
D
V
H E S P
N
R
N T
O
C
H I M E
D
S
L I E S
O
O
S T E R
Play SH or ST
SH and ST are the only two
playable words and have the advantage of registering points on
the scoreboard. SH is the preferable choice as it scores six extra
points. However, playing either
word leaves five consonants
on the rack meaning a twoconsonant pickup will force
a likely exchange on the next
turn. This is not desirable having scored only ten points on the
opening move.
Spavined
a. To trip
b. At an angle
c. Decrepit
R R T U U X Y Z
Answers below; for Concise, see Register
F
I
D
D
L
E
R
C
R
A
B
This was the opening rack of
the starting player in a recent
tournament game. It is a very
interesting set of letters as there
are numerous strategies to assess. The leading options are as
follows:
Spauld
a. Stretched-out
b. A limb
c. To separate fat
5 Soldier dropped and left loose
Answers below
Y
Y
A
I B
I
N T
T
E
R
R P
I
E L
L
O T
O
A S
W
R A
L
B L
O
W
A S H C O R D
O
U
H
L A C T I O N
V
I
N
R E A T
D U
F
D
S P I N A C
C
N
R O V E R T
O
H
T A X D E D
E
I
M
T R U M
E L
E
I E I N W A I
N
E
T
R D E S
P R
E
R
A R T D E C
V
I
S
C O M P R E H
U
S
N
E R G Y N T
O
N
T
H
E
S
P
U
R
O
F
T
H
E
M
O
M
E
N
T
O T
R
G A
I
O N
E
R
R
Y
I
T
E
A
T A
D
N D
I
A C
T
E I
O
M I N
O
R I T
O
H
C I O
C
R
O P E
A
H O U
A
U L C
T
H
E D I
U
N
R R A
F A
M
B A
N
S I
T
A
T
C
Q
S
N
E
S T
A
S K
E
N A
S
R E
A
A R T
S
T I B
O
A
U E N
N
Q
D R U
E
B Y T
L
O U N
S
O
S I B
O
L
M P E
WA
F
H I
C
C I
O
G N
A
E D
O
E S
Solution to Cryptic
Jumbo 1314
The winner is
Peter Vest of
Penylan, Cardiff
U S
T
R A
G
S E
F
E R
I
N G
H
N T
E R
O
E T
T
N E
N
N A
P
U P
L
L E
C E
N
I D
O
E R
S
C E
M
L E
N
S T
What would you do with the
following rack to start a game?
HRSSTXZ
Spathe
a. An agricultural
implement
b. To declare
c. Part of a plant
3 Watch in room, wound, keeping
Scrabble® Paul Gallen
Exchange, keeping RST
This is a classic set of letters to
keep after an exchange at any
stage of the game. This is because
the letters RST constitute one of
the best three-letter combinations for bonus words. The word
RETAINS comprises what are
regarded as the seven most bonus-friendly letters in the game
of Scrabble. If we pick up at least
two vowels in this exchange,
Chess Raymond Keene
there is a very strong chance of a
seven or eight-letter word. However, one disadvantage of this
move is that we return both the
Z and X to the tile bag which the
opponent may subsequently pick
up and benefit from.
Exchange, keeping ZRS or ZST
This is a safer choice than keeping RST as keeping the Z provides scoring insurance for the
next move. After the opponent’s
response, the Z is likely to feature
in a move scoring over 30 points.
There are also possibilities of bonus words with these rack leaves.
For example, ZRS features in
132 seven-letter words and 197
eight-letter words.
Computer analysis ranks an
exchange keeping RST as the
best choice. However, all of the
above options have their merits
and therefore this is one situation
where there is not necessarily an
optimal choice.
Let’s assume that you chose
to exchange tiles keeping RST
and the opponent replied with
PICKY. What would you play on
the board below if the pickup resulted in the following racks?
cilrstt
INPRRST
AFILRST
Collins Official Scrabble Words is the word authority used.
Word positions use the grid reference plus (a)cross or (d)own.
double letter
square (dl)
2L
1
Solution to times2
Jumbo 1314
The winner is
David Wallace of
Tollerton, Notts
Cell Blocks 3186
2
8
3
4
4
4
4
5
3
A
2
B
Suko 2205
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
2L
2W
2L
2L
2L
2L
2L
3L
2L
3L
2L
3L
2L
2W
N
2L
2W
3W
2L
3L
2L
2W
2W
3W
2L
bcmp
fhvwy
2L
2W
3L
3 points:
4 points:
3L
2W
2W
M
3W
2L
2W
aeiou
lnrst
dg
2L
2L
Letter
values
2 points:
3L
picky
K
2L
3L
triple word
square (tw)
1 point:
2W
2W
2W
3L
3W
3W
3L
2L
2L
3L
3W
8
2W
J
double word
square (dw)
2W
3W
2L
2W
G
O
7
3L
2L
F
L
6
2W
I
3
5
2W
E
H
9
4
triple letter
square (tl)
2L
C
D
3
3W
3L
3W
k=5
jx = 8
qz = 10
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2018
mirid, miry, morbid,
morbidity, mort, orbit, oribi,
rimy, riot, roti, ryot, tiro, torii,
trim, trio, troy, tyro.
Scrabble
STRICTLY (A8d) – 92 points,
NITPICKY (H1a) – 57 points,
AIRLIFTS (D5d) – 94 points.
Literary quiz 1 Far from the
Madding Crowd by Thomas
Hardy. 2 David Garrick.
3 Hazel. 4 Home-thoughts,
from Abroad by Robert
Browning.
Brain Trainer Easy 14;
Medium 184; Harder 3774.
Cryptic Quintagram
1 Pukka 2 Yukon
3 Monitor 4 Zebedee
5 Parallax
Polygon Roger Phillips Cell Blocks 3187
5 2
5
4
Using the given letters no more than
once, make as many words as possible of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Capitalised words,
plurals, conjugated verbs (past tense
etc), adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives are disallowed.
How you rate: 10 words average;
14, good; 24, very good; 35, excellent.
Answers to Friday’s Polygon are to the
left. Today’s answers are printed in
MindGames on Monday
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Mindset 1 Sets are: {ASIMOV,
GUV, PROKOFIEV, SLAV,
TV} – end in V (Roman five);
{CAT, HAT, KNOT, SHOP} –
can succeed TOP (Four
Tops); {MUSS, GET, EARS} –
Three Musketeers; {IT,
TAKES} – It Takes Two;
{EON} – anagram of ONE.
2 {4, 5}. 5= 12 + 22; 13= 22 + 32;
etc. 41= 42 + 52.
3 Zigazig ah – from the Spice
Girls song Wannabe. Words
are opposites of Scary, Posh,
Sporty, Ginger, Baby.
Word Watching: Spathulate
(a) Shaped like a spatula or
spoon. Spathe (c) A leaf
enclosing a flower cluster.
Spauld (b) An animal limb, a
shoulder (Scots). Spavined (c)
Decrepit or worn-out.
Polygon bird, biri, biro, bort,
brim, brio, dirt, dirty, dorm,
dormy, dory, droit, midrib,
4
6
6
4
3
2
8
Divide the grid into square
or rectangular blocks, each
containing one digit only. Every
block must contain the number
of cells indicated by the digit
inside it.
Yesterday’s solution, left
In the first cycle of the FIDE
World Chess Candidates tournament in Berlin, former world
champion Vladimir Kramnik
won a classic sacrificial masterpiece against the Armenian
Chess Olympiad gold medallist
Lev Aronian (see this column
of Monday, March 19). Astonishingly, in the second cycle,
Kramnik created a similarly
coruscating sacrificial tour de
force against the unfortunate
Aronian, concluding with a
queen sacrifice to force the win.
White: Vladimir Kramnik
Black: Lev Aronian
FIDE Candidates, Berlin 2018
Giuoco Piano
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bc4 Bc5 4
Nc3 Nf6 5 d3 a6 6 Nd5 Nxd5
7 Bxd5
Winning a pawn with 7
exd5 is bad on account of 7 ...
Nd4, when 8 Nxe5 is too dangerous as after 8 ... 0-0 9 0-0
d6 10 Nf3 Bg4 White’s kingside will be wrecked.
7 ... d6 8 Be3 Bxe3 9 fxe3 0-0
10 0-0 Nb8 11 b4 Nd7 12 Qd2
c6 13 Bb3 a5 14 a3 Nf6 15 h3
h6 16 Rab1
A mysterious rook move
that, nevertheless, works out
well. It would seem more natural to store up energy on the
kingside with 16 Rae1.
16 ... b5 17 Qc3 Bd7 18 Rf2
Qb6 19 Re1 Rfe8 20 Nh4
The former world champion
reveals his true intentions. A
ghost of an attack now appears
on the f-file. Black must also be
on the qui vive for exchange
sacrifices based on Rxf6.
20 ... c5 21 Ref1 cxb4 22 Qe1
________
árD DrDkD]
àD DbDp0 ]
ß 1 0 h 0]
Þ0pD 0 D ]
Ý 0 DPD H]
Ü)BDP) DP]
Û DPD $PD]
ÚD D !RI ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
An inspired retreat from
Kramnik. The threat of Rxf6
followed by Qg3+ now obliges
Black to bolster the defence of
his knight on f6. For example,
if Black is now oblivious to the
threat and continues 22 ... bxa3
then 23 Rxf6 gxf6 24 Qg3+ Kf8
25 Ng6+ fxg6 26 Qxg6 wins.
22 ... d5 23 axb4 dxe4 24 bxa5
Rxa5
Black must have judged that
24 ... Qxa5 25 Qe2 was too
perilous. For example 25 ... exd3
26 Bxf7+ Kxf7 27 Qxd3 Qa7 28
Qg6+ Kg8 29 Rxf6 Qxe3+ 30
Kh2 is very dangerous.
25 Ng6 Be6 26 Nxe5 exd3
If 26 ... Bxb3 then White
plays 27 Rxf6 gxf6 and now 28
Nd7 will regain the material
with a winning position.
27 Rxf6
At last the long-awaited
storm bursts on the f6-square.
27 ... gxf6 28 Rxf6 d2
White seeks to deliver mate
and, in response, Black thrusts
his pawn deep into the heart of
Twitter: @times_chess
White’s camp. If 29 Qxd2, then
White’s key attacking unit
finds itself deflected from its
primary objective, the lethal
hunt of the black king.
29 Qg3+ Kf8 30 Rf1 Ra7 31
Ng6+ Kg7 32 Nf4+ Kh8 33
Nh5 f6 34 Nxf6 Rf8 35 Qf4
Rh7 36 Qe5
________
á D D 4 i]
àD d D Dr]
ß 1 DbH 0]
ÞDpD ! D ]
Ý D D D D]
ÜDBD ) DP]
Û DP0 DPD]
ÚD D DRI ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
36 ... Qc7
Black stumbles at the final
hurdle, permitting White the
nuclear option of a deadly
queen sacrifice. The balance
could have been maintained
with 36 ... Rg7 37 Bxe6 Rg5,
when a possible conclusion is
38 Nd7+ Rxe5 39 Rxf8+ Kh7
40 Rf7+ Kh8 (not 40 ... Kg6 41
Nxe5+ mating quickly) with a
draw by perpetual check.
37 Ne8+ Black resigns
37 ... Qxe5 38 Rxf8+ leads to
mate, so Black loses too much
material.
Winning Move
White to play. This position is
from Golubov-Bindrich, Batumi
2018.
White’s next led to a winning
endgame. What did he play?
________
árD DrDkD]
à0p0 Dp0p]
ß DnD D D]
ÞDqD D D ]
Ý D ) D D]
ÜD ) D D ]
ÛP) DB!P)]
Ú$ D I DR]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
The first correct entry drawn
on Thursday will win a copy of
The Collins English Dictionary
and Thesaurus. The two runners-up will receive a book
prize. Answers on a postcard
to: The Times Winning Move,
PO Box 2164, Colchester, Essex
CO2 8LJ, or email to:
winningmove@thetimes.co.uk.
The answer will be published
next Saturday.
Solution to last week’s puzzle:
1 ... Qxf5! wins a piece after 2
Qxf5 Ng3+.
The winner is Richard Hazell of
Tickhill, South Yorkshire
554 saturday review
1G R
MindGames
The Times Crossword, Latin Crossword and Saturday Quiz are in the back of the main paper
Codeword No 3304
9
2
4
10
11
2
8
11
25
5
3
19
11
20
24
26
5
11
13
2
2
6
25
10
25
2
11
3
22
15
26
12
13
12
18
8
2
19
5
19
3
3
10
2
23
4
7
20
16
2
5
4
2
6
13
24
17
13
23
2
6
23
13
6
11
24
5
23
20
2
26
21
5
26
T
17
6
14
6
11
6
6
13
24
6
4
12
12
13
12
4
1
9
12
8
4
3
3
4
5
2
3
4
5
15
16
17
18
14
W
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
times2 Crossword No 7620
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
18
17
19
20
22
25
Across
1 Precious metal (8)
5 Mineral; powder (4)
9 Of the country (5)
10 Hard-wearing (7)
11 Large crustacean (7)
12 Complete, absolute (5)
13 Open-air cafeteria (3,6)
18 Correct and revise (5)
20 Rice dish (7)
22 West African country (7)
23 Style of jazz (5)
24 Hospital room (4)
25 Baked egg whites (8)
Solution to Crossword 7619
R
E
N
M
I
N
B
I
B
I
A
S
21
23
24
USH
O M
I N J A
G G
RON I
F
US T L
O A
B L OC
O O
MM E N
O
I
I NEC
SC
H
A
R
NG
E
E
C
A
R
S E
E
UR
RA P
T
T T I
E
MO
P
S T R
P
A
R
A
P
H
E
R
RS EN
A A
GU L
A
I
E DA
ED
O
ED
O
E
S
A K
Y
A L
I
AG
H
R T
S
listenercrossword.com
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number from
1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears at least once. Use the letters already
provided to work out further letters. Enter letters in the main grid and the
smaller reference grid. Proper nouns are excluded. Yesterday’s solution on page 53
2
Table One
14
W
1
♠95
♠6
N
W E ♥ Q J 10 9 6 5
♥42
S
♦♦ 10 8 7 5 4 3
♣ K 10 6 4 3
♣AJ97
♠ K Q J 10 8 7
♥A73
♦J9
♣85
9
T
14
♠A432
♥K8
♦AKQ62
♣Q2
Solution to Listener
Crossword No 4494 on
page 52
12
Bridge Andrew Robson
The last board of the final of
the Hungary team trial arrived
with the scores almost level.
They were far from level after
the board was played.
Dealer North
E-W Vul
23
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
Senders of the first three
correct entries drawn will
each receive a copy of The
Chambers Dictionary. Write
your name and contact
details in the space provided
and send to: Listener
Crossword No 4497,
63 Green Lane, St Albans,
Hertfordshire AL3 6HE, to
arrive by April 19.
23
11
21
3
11
10
24
3
6
20
12
The Listener Crossword No 4497 Catechism by tnap
Down
1 Colour (6)
2 Gymnastic entertainer (7)
3 Entry port (5)
4 Aircraft support (13)
6 Head monk (5)
7 Small red fruit (6)
8 Reduced to powder (6)
14 Venomous snakes (6)
15 Unimportant item (7)
16 Colour (6)
17 Language; organ (6)
19 Glowing coal (5)
21 Japanese dish (5)
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the answers.
Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
© PUZZLER MEDIA
10
Saturday April 7 2018 | the times
More information about
Chambers books can be found
at chambers.co.uk
Name........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Address.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Postcode .............................................................................. Phone number....................................................................................................................
Each clue has a misprint of one letter; in clue order the correct letters spell out a comment made by the
originator of the theme. Eight answers suffer thematic effects before entry. Four other answers must be
jumbled, after replacing some letters according to a thematic equivalence, to give their real-word grid
entries. Numbers in brackets are the lengths of grid entries. The Chambers Dictionary (2016) is the
primary reference.
43 Putz’s after-school jaunt (5)
Across
Down
1 So fab, an advanced yoga position (5)
1 Previously in French vintage — mulled
6 The woman will appreciate the pinny is part
without skin of grape (5)
of it (7)
2 Music can’t oust songs (7)
11 Pose wearing light cloak (6)
3 It was supposedly in the air rising up, in part,
14 EU council chamber shunning Norway and
intangible (5)
bringing Spain to the core (6)
4 Informer, right away, put on review — unruly
15 For example, Webern to play “Fruitfly” from
youth did beat witness (8)
the first key onwards (7)
5 Girl with divine power to crack me still (6)
16 Gun dog mistakenly thought to be sired
7 Ivy not needing font for extra-curricular
once (6)
RI (5)
18 Annual income from TV company with top
8 Trade voter put down on register (7)
brief on board (5)
9 Nip after catty — it helps preserve the
19 Walsh removing a new chapter — it’s fine
flowers (5)
material (5)
10 Gleans egg around bird’s cages (7)
20 Taste flesh — tiny portions in Perth (5)
12 Dog section unite for sport (9, two words)
22 Inferior to cutest Native Americans (4)
13 Novice unexpectedly catches Australian —
24 Festival food stand has Ecstasy for rave (3)
fluky? (10)
25 Funky house calls could make this home
17 Most dam cookers regularly burst apart (9)
groovy (6)
21 Hated licentiate engraver and the unfinished
27 Want to grab a penny stuck between the
portrait (8)
sides (6)
22 Rasp’s tooth is greasy, through replacing our
28 Mange maybe found among low-lifers (3)
mounting (7)
30 Judges Mormons adopting respectful title in
23 Not routing money when short a pound (7)
the past (4)
26 Beckoned to the old news chief, pursuing
33 Jetson nipped this — unit is routinely
compact possibly (7)
reconstructed (5)
29 Shape of ovals had given an indication of
36 Kurt left sweetheart without a penny —
danger (6)
calamity! (5, two words)
31 Unfelled ebony showing the other end of
37 Horns from SW England, out of place (5)
conservation (5)
38 Mathematician changed back to include two
32 Lands in paradisian resorts (5)
fundamental constants (6)
34 Stop facing the wind, say, with the aim of
39 Convent eating special nourishment (7)
creating endless play (5, two words)
40 Twisted knee, not good, receiving punch that
35 Lush surrounding area finally supports old
roughens savate (6)
bears (5)
41 Farmer giant worried about leaves (6)
42 Inept runner is behind back marker line (7)
LISTENER STATISTICS, plus personal record, for last year are available to senders of an SAE (overseas
stamp exempt) to JE Green at the above address. Envelopes measuring approximately 230×160mm may
carry a normal stamp; larger envelopes will require a “Large” stamp or two normal ones.
Mindset by 700
1. The following words can be divided into five sets of size
5, 4, 3, 2 and 1. What are the sets?
(Hint: the size of each set provides an oblique clue to its theme)
ASIMOV
CAT
EARS EON
GET
GUV
HAT
IT
KNOT
MUSS
PROKOFIEV
SHOP
SLAV TAKES TV
2. If 5 is {1,2}, 13 is {2,3}, 17 is {1,4}, 29 is {2,5} and 37 is {1,6},
then what is 41?
3. If we really really don’t want the following words:
CALMING, COMMON, LAZY, RECKLESS, SENIOR
Then tell me what we want.
Answers on page 53
Literary Quiz
Josephine Balmer
Tree Stories
1 Of which 1874 pastoral novel
is Gabriel Oak the hero?
2 Which 18th-century English
actor/playwright wrote “Heart
of oak are our men”?
3 In Richard Adams’s
Watership Down, who is the
rabbits’ leader?
4 “...the brushwood sheaf/
Round the elm-tree bole are in
tiny leaf...In England – now!”
In which poem?
Answers on page 53
W
N
E
1♦
2♥(1)
Pass
3♥(2) Dbl(3)
2♠
Pass
Pass
3♠(4) Pass
4♠(6) end
4♥(5) Pass
(1) Weak jump overcall. The vulnerability is adverse but, “Six, five, come
alive”.
(2) Undefined, setting up a gameforce.
(3) Anti-lead, a clever modern treatment. After all, the default (ie if you
pass) is partner will lead your suit.
(4) Clarifying his intentions.
(5) Ace-showing cue bid agreeing
spades.
(6) Signing off for the lack of club
control.
In a very well-controlled
auction, North-South diagnosed the lack of club control
and settled for the spade game.
However, East-West were listening and they found the
killing defence.
West kicked off with a diamond. East ruffed and
returned a club. West won the
ace, gave his partner a second
diamond ruff and East cashed
the king of clubs. Down one.
Table Two
S
W
N
2NT(1)
4♠
5♠(4)
E
Pass
Pass
Pass
4♥(2) Pass
4NT(3) Pass
6♠
end
(1) “Balanced 20-22”. As events
were to prove, two wrongs (neither
balanced, nor 20-22) made a right.
(2) Four-level transfer, showing a
slammy hand with six spades (a good
treatment, by the way).
(3) Roman Key Card Blackwood.
(4) Two of “five aces” (incl ♠K) plus
♠Q. Note, North pretends to have
the queen because there are ten
spades between the partnership, so
the queen does not rate to win even
if missing.
A purist will surely prefer
North-South’s auction at Table
One, where both partners
exchanged meaningful information, diagnosed the (club)
problem and played safely in
game. North-South at Table
Two punted 6♠, missing the
ace-king of clubs.
As so often, punting not
purism won the day. East led a
normal queen of hearts versus
Six Spades and declarer could
literally lay down all his cards
and claim all 13 tricks. “I win,
draw trumps, cash four rounds
of
diamonds,
discarding
dummy’s clubs, cash my other
top heart and cross-ruff.”
The slam made (plus one)
while the game went down.
Thank you to Nick Simms for
bringing my attention to the
gutting/joyous (delete as
appropriate) deal.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
the times | Saturday April 7 2018
saturday review 55
1G R
For more crosswords and your favourite
puzzles go to thetimes.co.uk
Jumbo crossword No 1317
Cryptic clues
1
Across
1 Bits of pencil you could pick up
for artist (6)
5 Ornate ship going round eastern
tip of Gozo (7)
9 Grant aid — about time for
supporting female (8)
13 Very nervous of Californian heat,
took to swimming (4,1,3,2,1,3,3,4)
14 Local girl narrowly avoided
accident (4,4)
15 Brahms and Liszt interact, lacking
a stringed instrument (7)
16 Crack soldiers penetrating walls
of Cretan city (6)
17 No sailor, dismissing starters of
tasteless whale fat (10)
20 Leisure and work in Brazilian
capital? (12)
23 Came across Zulu in French
city (4)
24 Perhaps saw last of wealth and
money in recession? (4,4)
26 One offering to be less tough (8)
29 Engaging Saul to develop digital
communication method (4,8)
30 Blunt’s traitors recalled head of
KGB, impressed by fame (4-6)
32 More obvious career for
cobblers (10)
34 Vocal supporters of Chelsea erred
badly (12)
36 Thug, Chinese, going around
loves free party (8)
38 Patrilineage of extremely
annoying people (8)
39 Brad shelled molluscs (4)
41 VIP ran to exchange starters with
shellfish for famed kipper (3,3,6)
43 Colonisation of earth allowed
humans to be preserved (10)
44 Loved song and dance and
wine (6)
46 Bird in Henley wings away in
style (7)
48 Make a saint transgress
revoltingly in boat (8)
50 One refusing to serve men after
particular article (13,8)
51 Arsenic of highest quality, huge
danger to health (8)
52 Unusual diversity on street (7)
53 Dish mature Englishman
carries (6)
Down
2 Agriculturalist with last of wire
netting (5)
3 Thirteen tradesmen finally return
after nap (6,5)
4 Scoundrel promises to pay for
flower (8)
5 Supporters at first sent money (5)
6 “Discontented” reserve officer
commanding dog to come
back (7)
7 Interval of fifteen minutes before
meeting bridge opponents (7-4)
8 Put down, absent daughters act
histrionically (5)
9 Ringing hospital department after
company function (9)
10 Queen Eunice losing case of old
letters (5)
11 A fool filling motor after
knocking back eggs and fruit (7,4)
12 Fashionable follower cheers
Iberian princess (7)
18 Woman not one to go after
morning coffee (9)
19 British swing and rap, brief hybrid
musical style (7)
21 Bully scowled at sign of fear (4,5)
22 Metal end of dart catches
wildebeest from underneath (8)
25 Stiff cast hated cavorting on
screen (5,4)
27 Former copper working after
repetitive strain injury and
trip (9)
28 Terribly arrogant cook might use
this (8)
31 Perhaps JFK left after show (7)
33 A despised revolutionary, basis
of Christian church and salvation
(11)
34 One might see prom queen
arrange travel in advance (11)
35 Monitored an unstable figure
below this line (11)
37 Sister oddly wound up mute (9)
40 Melancholy, mean man (8)
42 Persuades head of compliance to
wear naughty undies (7)
43 Subdues male relative (7)
45 Old coin initially depicting
uncrowned queen? (5)
47 Strict nurse regularly scrubbed
Roman emperor (5)
48 Constant, clever guy? (5)
49 Huge wave from theatre
professional, on leaving (5)
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
10
11
12
13
14
17
15
18
19
23
16
20
24
21
22
25
26
27
28
29
30
32
33
31
34
36
37
35
38
39
40
41
42
44
43
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
Name......................................................................................................... Prizes
Address.....................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
............................................................ Postcode.....................................
Phone number......................................................................................
The prize for each of the first
correct solutions to the
Cryptic and times2 Jumbo
clues to be opened will be a
collection of Times reference
books — including The Times
Universal Atlas of the World, Collins English
Dictionary & Thesaurus, and Bradford’s Crossword
Solver’s Dictionary published by HarperCollins.
Entries should be marked “Cryptic” or “times2”
and sent to: The Times Jumbo Crossword 1317,
PO Box 2164, Colchester, Essex CO2 8LJ, to arrive
by April 19. The winners and the solutions will be
published on April 21.
times2 clues
Train
Tracks
No 376
Lay tracks
to enable
the train to
travel from
village A to
village B.
The numbers
indicate
how many
sections of
rail go in
each row
and column.
There are
only straight
rails and
curved rails.
The track
cannot
cross itself.
Solution
on Monday
9
1
4
3
3
6
5
2
3
3
6
5
2
A
3
3
4
1
B
Across
1 Flock of geese (6)
5 No longer observed or practised
(7)
9 Army rank (8)
13 Involvement of spectators in a
performance (8,13)
14 Tranquillity (8)
15 Noble, lofty (7)
16 Free of deceit (6)
17 Place to stay (5,5)
20 At once (12)
23 Headland; garment (4)
24 Lying near or next (to) (8)
26 Tester of knowledge (8)
29 Boxing award (8,4)
30 One inviting bids for lots (10)
32 Slightly unwell (10)
34 Applicability to all cases (12)
36 Homeric hero (8)
38 Very demanding (8)
39 Radiant smile; timber support (4)
41 Marksman (12)
43 Giving protection to (10)
44
46
48
50
Mistake, blunder (4-2)
Small stone for mosaics (7)
Spanish dance (8)
System using natural remedies
(7,6,8)
51 Stately home at Woodstock (8)
52 Perfumed (7)
53 Large diving seabird (6)
Down
2 Greatly surprise (5)
3 Impiety (11)
4 Vision (8)
5 Rot (5)
6 Highest in rank (7)
7 Figure manipulating program (11)
8 Move aimlessly (5)
9 Showing youthful innocence (9)
10 Arrive at; extend to (5)
11 Relative position (11)
12 Loss of memory (7)
18 Plain (9)
19 Take off one’s clothes (7)
21 Lover of solemn ceremonial (9)
22
25
27
28
31
33
34
35
37
40
42
43
45
47
48
49
Most weighty (8)
Minor improvement (9)
Optical irritation or tiredness (9)
Moist quality (8)
Purify (7)
Words carved on stone, metal,
etc (11)
Unpleasant; inconsistent (11)
Believer in free will (11)
Concerned with the near future
(5-4)
Foul-smelling (8)
Spiral (7)
Onion-like bulb (7)
Portion; coin (5)
Glasses (5)
Sigmund —, psychoanalyst (5)
Diving waterbird (5)
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