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The Times Saturday Review - 17 March 2018

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Saturday March 17 2018
7-DAY
TV & RADIO
GUIDE
page 23
It’s Unsane
Steven Soderbergh on
his new film, shot on
an iPhone for $1.2m
Van Gogh
and Japan
Plus
The best European
blockbuster shows
this spring
art books theatre film music television what’s on puzzles
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 3
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everyone’s talking about
Michaela DePrince and Madonna
Contents
Cover story 4-5
Rachel CampbellJohnston looks at how
a new exhibition in
Amsterdam reveals Van
Gogh’s love for Japan
Six of the best 6
Fictional priests, chosen
by the pianist and
novelist Stephen Hough
Why?
Wh
W
h ?
Madonna is, incredibly, still the best-selling
female recording artist to date, but when it
comes to her second career as a filmmaker, she’s yet to storm the box office. Her
2008 directorial debut, a comedy called
Filth and Wisdom, failed to get a UK release,
despite its London locations. Her last, W.E.,
a stiffly pretty 2011 Wallis Simpson biopic,
cost $15 million, but grossed well under
$1 million, despite (a pre-disgrace) Harvey
Weinstein muscling a best costume Oscar
nod for it. And don’t even go there when it
comes to her acting career. Two words:
Swept Away. (Two more: Shanghai Surprise.)
Luckily such flops are no matter when
you’re still the queen of pop. This week
MGM signed Madge to direct Taking
Flight, based on the memoir by Michaela
DePrince, a war orphan from Sierra Leone
turned world-famous ballet dancer.
DePrince was aged three when her father
was shot dead by rebels and her mother
died of starvation. She was adopted by a
US couple who nurtured her talent for
dancing. She’s now a soloist at the Dutch
National Ballet.
“Michaela’s journey resonated with me
deeply as both an artist and an activist who
understands adversity,” Madonna said this
week with
i h a ttouch
uch of self-regard — you
have to say that in an adversity-off,
DePrince would win hands down. Still, let’s
hope that as the mother of four adopted
children from Malawi, Madonna may have
finally found a project that can break her
cinematic curse. A movie that’s not just
close to her heart, but can awake emotion
in other people’s. This one may (whisper it)
even make its money back.
Larushka Ivan-Zadeh
What they say
“There is no director better suited to
tell Michaela’s journey with passion and
sensitivity.”
MGM president Jonathan Glickman
“Madonna . . . has no discernible idea of
how to locate a tone, or a provocative
blend of tones. Her camera makes
circles around its subjects every chance
it gets in ways that evoke — nothing.”
Chicago Tribune review of W.E.
“We have a unique opportunity to shed
light on Sierra Leone and let Michaela
be the voice for all the orphaned
children she grew up beside. I am
honoured to bring her story to life.”
Madonna
What the critics would pay to see
theatre
The Cherry
Orchard
Bristol Old Vic
Ann Treneman,
page 21
dance
America’s Cool
Modernism
exhibition
Ashmolean, Oxford
Rachel Campbell-Johnston, page 21
film
Richard Alston
Dance Company
Sadler’s Wells, London
Debra Craine, page 21
The Square
On general
release
Kevin Maher,
page 20
Hugo Rifkind 7
Books 11-19
TV & radio 23-51
“You say ‘countryside’
when you mean ‘place
where they haven’t built
a massive Tesco yet’.”
The trials of junior
doctors, adventures
among the Leonardoloonies, a history
of submarine warfare,
and this month’s best
historical fiction
A new documentary
looks at the IRA funeral
murders; the Durrells are
back in sunny Corfu
Film 8-9
Steven Soderbergh tells
Kevin Maher about using
an iPhone to make a film
Jazz 10
John Bungey talks to jazz
saxophonist Charles Lloyd
What’s on 20-21
Our critics pick the
week’s best films, plays,
dance, gigs, exhibitions
and more
Puzzles 52-55
Sudoku, chess and your
favourite brain teasers,
plus the new Quintagram
and Mindset puzzles
Cover photograph
Harvard Art Museums
4 saturday review
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Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
THE SAMUEL COURTAULD TRUST, THE COURTAULD GALLERY, LONDON; THE ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO, HELEN BIRCH BARTLETT MEMORIAL COLLECTION
cover story
Ear to the East:
Van Gogh’s passion
for Japanese art
A new exhibition in Amsterdam reveals the Dutch painter’s
fascination with the Far East, says Rachel Campbell-Johnston
Y
ou are so busy looking at
that strip of grubby cloth
that he has tied round his
face that you barely
notice the picture pinned
on the background wall.
But look again and you
may wonder how you could have missed it.
It creates the brightest spot of colour in
Van Gogh’s iconic 1889 Self-Portrait with
Bandaged Ear.
You will see it with new eyes because, for
the first time in more than 60 years, this
landmark painting will leave its home at
the Courtauld in London to travel to the
Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. There,
as one of an arresting assemblage of great
loans, it will form a highlight of a revelatory new exhibition. The burning reds of
what is clearly recognisable as a Japanese
print spring from the background,
suddenly becoming a focal point of a show
that invites us to look at Van Gogh’s fascination with the art of the East.
Why did an artist who had just hacked
off his ear and presented it to a local prostitute bother to paint a Japanese picture so
carefully in the background of a portrait
that commemorates this mad moment of
self-mutilation? Van Gogh & Japan will
make the answer plain.
“It is well known that Japanese art was a
source of inspiration for Van Gogh,” says
Nienke Bakker, the co-curator of the Van
Gogh Museum’s upcoming show. “But
quite how deeply it influenced him will
come as a surprise to many. His interest in
the art of the East is mostly treated as a
sub-theme. We ourselves look at it in a permanent installation in our museum. A
number of small exhibitions in the past
have focused on it, including one that we
put on in 1991.”
That show, she says, drew only from
works in the Van Gogh Museum’s collection. Van Gogh & Japan, by contrast, is a
more ambitious project. Bringing together
rare loans from public and private collections, it is the first significant show to be
staged on the subject. “It will be thrilling,”
Bakker says.
For Van Gogh enthusiasts — and they
are myriad — this exhibition may be
enjoyed on the simplest level. Among the
60 paintings and drawings on display are
highlight images such as L’Arlésienne from
the Met in New York; Irises from the J Paul
Getty Museum in Los Angeles; Orchard in
Blossom from the Neue Pinakothek in
Munich; and a haggard self-portrait that
travels from the Fogg in Massachusetts.
“On another level,” Bakker says, “this
exhibition will show the quality and
beauty of Japanese printmaking.” The
pieces that have been drawn from Van
Gogh’s extensive collection may not be the
finest; they are certainly the scruffiest. But
there are also some other great works of
Japanese art. Hokusai’s The Wave is a
world-famous example. “To have the
chance to bring all these works together to
try to tell a story is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity,” Bakker says.
For centuries Japan remained closed to
the West. But in the 1850s, when trade with
Japan resumed for the first time since
about 1600, a craze for its culture swept
France. The term Japonisme is said to have
been invented by the French critic Philippe Burty in the early 1870s, but by then
the fashion was firmly established. Art
galleries all over Paris were showing oriental work. Bric-a-brac dealers sold bronzes,
ceramics, lacquerware, screens and prints.
Stores dedicated entire departments to
porcelain. The 1878 World’s Fair was
stuffed with Far Eastern treasures. Parasols, fans and lanterns adorned every
bourgeois home.
It’s unsurprising, then, that this should
have had such an enormous effect on
western art. Every artist who mattered,
Émile Zola observed, studied Japanese
woodcut prints. The development of
modern painting, as it rose from impressionism, was profoundly affected by their
pronounced stylisation, their flattened
perspectives and brilliant colours. Designers were similarly influenced. You just
have to look at the aesthetic movement or
art nouveau to see that.
Van Gogh was a relative latecomer to
the trend. He almost certainly became
acquainted earlier, but it first appeared in
his work in an 1884 still life in which he
painted the cloisonné vase that his
lure of the east
Vincent van Gogh’s SelfPortrait with Bandaged
Ear, 1889. Below: Woman
Rocking the Cradle
(Augustine Roulin), 1889
Why did
he paint a
Japanese
picture in
a portrait
that shows
his selfmutilation?
brother, Theo, an art dealer, had brought
back from Paris as a gift for his parents.
A year or so later, leaving his parents’
home in Nuenen in the Netherlands for
Antwerp, in Belgium, he bought his first
Japanese print. Soon he was writing
enthusiastically to Theo: “My studio’s
quite tolerable mainly because I’ve pinned
a set of Japanese prints on the walls that I
find very diverting. You know, those little
female figures in gardens . . . horsemen,
flowers, gnarled thorn branches.”
In early 1886 he moved to Paris, where
he fell under the Japanese spell. Dropping
in on the little attic-room bazaar where
fellow painters such as Monet were also
regular visitors, he began to assemble a
collection of Japanese prints that would
eventually extend to about 600 works.
At first his motive was commercial. Picking up images for a few sous, he planned to
trade and make a profit — not least
because, having struck up a relationship
with the manageress of a down-at-heel
Montmartre café, communications with
his disapproving brother (who supported
him financially) were strained. But the
more prints he bought, the more “fantastic” and “singular” he found them. Their
flat tones, he declared, were admirable for
the same reason as Rubens’s and Veronese’s were. His collection may, as far as
the connoisseur was concerned, have been
considered ignorant, even vulgar, but it
kindled his imagination. It planted the
seeds of what he would later describe as his
Japanese dream.
At first glance, anyone comparing Van
Gogh’s work from those early days in Paris
with the woodcuts that so enthused him
would find it easier to spot the differences
than discover similarities. But you can find
him experimenting with their stylistic
devices: omitting the horizon or playing
with abrupt compositional crops, trying
forceful diagonals or exaggerating
bird’s-eye views. By displaying them
alongside eastern images, curators will
suggest that Van Gogh’s painting of a crab
on its back, or a riverside kingfisher, were
adopted from popular Japanese motifs.
If at the beginning his imitations were
somewhat arbitrary, they did not remain
so for long. The Japanese model, he wrote,
grew to become his counsellor and guide
in almost everything. He began to work
with broader brushstrokes to capture their
flattened effects. He increasingly abstracted his backgrounds.
In 1887 he began to make copies of
prints: of Hiroshige’s The Residence with
Plum Trees at Kameido, for instance
(although it is ironic that this artist had
adopted western practices, employing perspective and studying the effects of light),
or one of Eisen’s signature bijin-ga (pictures of beautiful women). Two of the
three portraits that he painted of Père Tanguy that year (one of them, after Tanguy’s
death, was sold to Auguste Rodin) show
the dealer sitting against a backdrop of the
oriental prints that he traded. Kabuki
actors share a wall with cherry trees in
blossom. Mount Fuji crowns his head.
Van Gogh referred to his use of bright
colours as “gymnastics”. Urged by his
brother to follow the impressionist movement to make his art look more modern,
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 5
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GETTY IMAGES; LIBRARY OF CONGRESS; VAN GOGH MUSEUM, AMSTERDAM/VINCENT VAN GOGH FOUNDATION
High fliers — we pick the best
exhibitions to see in Europe now
High Society
This fabulous exhibition focuses on the
life-sized, full-length portrait — a rare
form, mainly because it was so wildly
expensive. If you were going to do it,
you did it properly: examples here come
from artists such as Rembrandt,
Velázquez, Van Dyck, Cranach the Elder,
Frans Hals, Gainsborough, Sargent and
Reynolds, and their sitters are almost
exclusively the regal, the powerful or
the merely stratospherically rich. It’s the
poshest party you’ll ever be invited to.
Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam (00 31 20
6747 000), to June 3
Dawn of a Nation
Neatly timed to open for the
anniversary of the country’s unification
(although not that neat — it’s 147 years),
this show will trace the development of
Italy’s identity in the 1950s and 1960s
through its art, featuring work from
artists such as Lucio Fontana, Mario
Merz and Michelangelo Pistoletto.
Palazzo Strozzi, Florence (00 39 55
2469 600), to July 22
Rubens: Painter of Sketches
Rubens, ever meticulous, was a big fan
of the oil sketch — nearly 450 survive
that are known to be by his hand. This
show will present 82 exquisite examples,
plus 20 paintings, drawings and
other works, to shed new
light on the master’s
working process.
Museo del Prado,
Madrid (00 34 902
10 70 77), April 10
to Aug 5
he turned to his collection of prints for
inspiration. By 1888 his visual vocabulary,
with its decorative planes of garish colour,
was derived very literally from the woodcuts that he loved.
Japanese art seemed primitive to him. It
was like medieval stained glass. And,
having met Gauguin and admired his
rough, unglazed stoneware, it was this raw
simplicity that increasingly he sought
to express. Disillusioned by his failed
attempts at the priesthood, no longer
imitation game Top:
Hiroshige’s Plum Park
in Kameido, 1857,
left, and Van Gogh’s
Flowering Plum Tree
(after Hiroshige), 1887.
Below: Hiroshige’s
Sudden Shower over
Shin-Ohashi Bridge and
Atake, 1857, left, and Van
Gogh’s Bridge in the Rain
(after Hiroshige), 1887
Gauguin’s Arcadia
lay in the tropics,
Van Gogh’s resided
in the Far East
Van Gogh & Japan is at
the Van Gogh Museum,
Amsterdam, from March
23 to June 24
believing that harsh suffering was the way
to high spiritual reward, he turned towards
what he saw as a cultural primitivism
instead. Gauguin’s Arcadia lay in the tropics, Van Gogh’s dream of paradise resided
in the Far East.
Gauguin went to live in Polynesia. Van
Gogh never made it to Japan. Instead,
moving to Arles in Provence at the beginning of 1888, he projected his imaginative
vision of the East on to this dazzlingly colourful region of sunny southern France.
Drawings, done with a newly adopted
reed pen, took their cue from Hokusai. He
used the dots, streaks and hatchings, the
sharp lines and short dashes of this master.
His draughtsmanship is a focus of the show.
Van Gogh’s Japanese dream flourished
with the bursting forth of the peach
blossom. Here was a local counterpart to
the Far Eastern cherry. A gathering of
laundry washes could have be seen merely
as a picturesque motif. But then he depicted it again from a distinctively oriental
bird’s-eye view. Looking at Millet’s The
Sower, he set about modernising it with
flat planes of colour and, in a manner
adopted directly from Hiroshige, sliced it
diagonally with a tree. Cut-off trunks
became a trope. He also began, like Japanese artists, working in series. A predilection for close-ups was recast according to
an oriental model as he zoomed in on
butterflies and flowers. In Japanese
ukiyo-e prints artists use lines to show
rain. Van Gogh assimilated this device.
“Van Gogh had huge ambitions to contribute to the art of the future,” Bakker
says. “He was determined to prove himself
modern and he saw Japanese art as a way
of doing this. Collaborating with Gauguin
to discover a new way of painting, he found
a huge influence in oriental prints.”
But then, she explains, Van Gogh fell ill
and Gauguin left, “and there is a feeling
that he is no longer focusing on his high
ambitions. He has other problems to preoccupy him.” The influence of Japanese art
becomes less overt. “Perhaps also this is
because by this time Van Gogh had assimilated the Japanese way of looking so thoroughly that he had integrated it almost
seamlessly into his own way of seeing.”
This show promises to be one of
those fascinating exhibitions that takes
something familiar and recasts it so that it
feels fresh.
Sorolla and
Fashion
The late 19th to early
20th-century painter
Joaquín Sorolla was a
friend and worthy rival to
John Singer Sargent. This
exhibition, presented across two venues,
focuses on his fascination with fashion
and textiles, and will show about 70 of
his gestural, dynamic paintings
alongside clothing, jewels and
accessories of the period. Museo
Thyssen-Bornemisza and Museo Sorolla,
Madrid (00 34 917 91 13 70; 00 34 913
10 15 84), to May 27
Cy Twombly: In the Studio
The American artist Cy Twombly’s work
is always imbued with a sense of place.
His connection with Munich (although
he’s better known as a long-term
inhabitant of Rome) dates back to the
1960s and he exhibited in the city many
times. The Museum Brandhorst, which
opened in 2009, has a significant
collection of his work (about 200
pieces) and now a retrospective
selection of about half of these goes on
display. Museum Brandhorst, Munich
(00 49 892 3805 2286), to Aug 26
Delacroix
More than 180 works by Eugène
Delacroix will make up this mammoth
show, the first big display since the 1963
exhibition in Paris commemorating the
centenary of his death. Paintings,
writings and works on paper will show
the tension between the ambitious,
fame-hungry young artist’s attempts to
sit alongside the 16th and 17th-century
Flemish and Venetian masters, while
trying to forge his own style. Louvre,
Paris (00 33 1 40 20 53 17), March 29 to
July 23
Mary Cassatt: An American
Impressionist in Paris
Cassatt was the only American and one
of very few women who exhibited with
the impressionists at their controversial
exhibitions during the 19th century, and
counted Pissarro and Degas among her
admirers. This is the first comprehensive
retrospective, including her images of
mothers and children, to be shown in
her adopted city since her death in 1923.
Musée Jacquemart-André, Paris (00 33 1
45 62 11 59), to July 23
David Goldblatt
A huge retrospective for the veteran
South African photographer, known as
his country’s “visual conscience”.
Through more than 50 years’ worth of
striking images, he tells the story of the
birth, brutal reign and death of
apartheid, and how South Africa is
trying to rebuild itself. Centre Pompidou,
Paris (00 33 1 44 78 12 33), to May 13
In Tune with the World
Bernard Arnault, the boss of the
luxury brand behemoth LVMH,
is also one of the world’s
most prominent art
collectors. This exhibition
mines his collection,
and that of LVMH, to fill
Frank Gehry’s building
with works by modern
and contemporary
artists, from Gerhard
Richter and Takashi
Murakami to Dan Flavin
and Yves Klein. Fondation
Louis Vuitton, Paris (00 33 1
40 69 96 00), April 11 to Aug 27
Tintoretto: Birth of a Genius
Marking 500 years since the birth of
Jacopo Robusti (otherwise known as
Tintoretto), this exhibition focuses on
the first 15 years of the great Venetian
artist’s career. It includes his earliest
known work, The Adoration of the Magi,
painted while he was still a teenager, as
well as important commissions from the
early 1550s that brought him fame —
Original Sin, above, owned by the
Gallerie dell’Accademia, or Saint Louis,
Saint George and the Princess, originally
commissioned for the Palazzo dei
Camerlenghi. Musée du Luxembourg,
Paris (00 33 1 40 13 62 00), to July 1
Comrade. Jew. We Only Wanted
Paradise on Earth
The failed dream of a better world is the
subject of this fascinating show, which
describes, through the lives and work of
Jewish politicians, philosophers and
artists (such as Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky,
Rosa Luxemburg, El Lissitzky and
others), how many of the Jews of central
and eastern Europe embraced the
utopian ideas of socialism and
communism in the face of bourgeois
antisemitism. Jewish Museum, Vienna
(00 43 1 535 0431), to May 1
Nancy Durrant
6 saturday review
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Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
six of the best
Fictional priests chosen by Stephen Hough, pianist
silence (2016)
This film directed by Martin Scorsese, based on the
novel by Shusaku Endo, is set in 17th-century Japan,
where Christianity had been embraced,
but is now dying out because
of fierce persecution. The few
surviving priests have apostatised
or are being tortured to death.
When God seems silent, even in
the face of such suffering, what
response can be expected from
the desperate believer?
priest (1994)
Written by Jimmy McGovern and the debut for the
director Antonia Bird, Priest explores faithfulness and
personal weakness in the life of its
principal character (Linus Roache),
p
e),
a good man who is unable to live
up to the sexual expectations of
u
his church yet finds himself at
tthe shattering climax of the
story as (unwittingly) a source
of grace for a young girl being
abused by her father.
a
There is a strange
glamour about the
Catholic priesthood that
continues to fascinate
even those who have
nothing but contempt for
what they see as its role
as spokesman and
symbol for outdated,
outlandish dogmas. This
glamour persists in the
world of the arts too and
over the past couple of
years one of the finest
films (Silence) and one
of the finest television
series (Broken) have
portrayed clerics as
authentic heroes despite
lives shaped by archaic
religious observance.
In my novel The Final
Retreat, even that
observance has tarnished
and the “wounded
healer” at the centre of
the story seems beyond
repair, but at its best, a
priest’s ability to enter
the intimate lives of
strangers is not so much
a wielding of privilege
as a willingness to
share in suffering —
literally com-passion.
Stephen Hough’s
debut novel, The Final
Retreat, is published
by Sylph Editions.
He plays Debussy,
Beethoven and
Schumann at the
Royal Festival Hall,
London SE1, on April 5
BBC; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
broken (2017)
Sean Bean plays an ordinary priest from an ordinary
northern English parish trying to grapple with
ordinary people’s problems in this BBC TV drama
series. Jimmy McGovern’s astonishing script takes
us to the heart of the priest as “father”, giving up
marriage and children to become the protector of a
larger family, especially the most vulnerable members
of the community.
i confess (1953)
The classic story of the dilemma of the seal of
Confession turned into a thrilling film by Alfred
Hitchcock. A man confesses to killing someone and
the priest (Montgomery Clift) comes under suspicion
for the murder, but cannot defend himself, bound as
he is by his vow of secrecy. The final scene of
reconciliation is a poignant symbol of the real
meaning of confession: forgiveness not so much a
matter of justice as an act of self-giving that goes to
the very heart of being authentically human.
father brown
(1910-1936)
GK Chesterton’s
priest-as-sleuth is a
lovable, larger-than-life
character reminiscent in
some ways of his author.
In these 53 short stories
— which have been
endlessly adapted for
film and TV, most
famously in the 1954 film
starring Alec Guinness
as Father Brown — crime
can be solved with a light
touch and the evil behind
it is something that
requires
healing and
mercy as
much as
justice.
calvary (2014)
This film, directed by John Michael McDonagh,
follows another ordinary priest (Brendan Gleeson) in
a small rural village where everyone knows everyone.
When a parishioner turns up in Confession to say
that he intends to kill the priest in the next week,
as a symbolic punishment for all those of his
brethren who have abused children, he is
unable to expose that person, but has to go
about his daily business as if he didn’t know.
We, the viewers, are not told who the
murderer is and we live that week through
the anxious, but somehow serene eyes
of the intended victim.
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 7
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Hugo Rifkind on TV
CRITIC OF THE YEAR
Honestly, what a fraud the
English countryside is
BBC
This Country
(BBC One)
Humanity
(Netflix)
Pilgrimage: The
Road to Santiago
(BBC Two)
The Scottish
countryside is
full of manky
Land Rovers
that have bits
of sheep
hanging out
the back
N
ever do I feel more
Scottish than when I find
myself in the English
countryside. Honestly,
what a fraud the English
countryside is. Sometimes it’s not even in the
countryside. Sometimes it’s only about
20 minutes on the bus from Swindon.
What’s that about?
Scottish countryside is in the middle of
nowhere, as God intended the countryside
to be. In place of well-dressed west London
families who only turn up at the weekends,
it has sheep, which are there all the time.
There are no posh cars, but instead manky
Land Rovers with bits of aforementioned
sheep hanging out the back. In place of
desirable gastropubs there are no pubs.
There are also no towns in the Scottish
countryside, not even small ones, because
— oh my God, am I going mad here? — it’s
the bloody countryside. Instead there are
farms, and occasionally villages full of
people who work on farms. Whereas
England? Sure, sometimes you have
proper countryside. I’m aware, don’t write
in. But you also say “countryside” when
you basically mean “place just outside
town where they haven’t quite built a
massive Tesco yet”. And you’re not
fooling anybody.
This Country is set in such a
place. A quiet hit on BBC
Three last year, which has
now got a second series
and moved to BBC One,
it’s a fake fly-on-the-wall
portrait of what English
people would call a “rural”
community, even though
it’s got more than one street
and is on a bus route and
people wear trainers. Seen
through the eyes of cousins Kerry
and Kurtan (played by the siblings Daisy
May and Trevor Cooper), it is at once
sweet and edgy, which is quite the trick.
Everybody is always outside and you can
always hear crows in the background.
There is never anything to do. Kerry is
large, gruff, mainly friendless and dressed
like “an explosion in an unofficial merchandise factory”. Kurtan, floppy haired
and stick-thin, is the backwoods cousin of
Gareth from The Office. He cares deeply
about his tracksuits and says things such
as: “Have you ever done a pill, vicar?”
It’s a thankless task to properly analyse
comedy, but let’s have a go. Kerry and Kurtan are funny because they are displaced.
Their identity is of urban Britain, yet they
family values Trevor and Daisy May Cooper in This Country. Below, Ricky Gervais
don’t live in it. Not long ago, I read about
Christophe Guilluy and his theory of la
France périphérique, the bits of France that
have been so left behind by the prosperous
elites that they have become irrelevant to
the nation’s economy or identity. Kerry
and Kurtan are l’Angleterre périphérique,
but they don’t know it at all.
“I’ve got enemies in North Cerney.
I’ve got enemies in South Cerney.
I’ve got enemies in Cerney
Wick,” Kerry says, with the
unblinking certainty that
someone else would give
a damn. Or there’s her
estranged dad, boasting about the way that
“on the last Thursday
of every month oi used
to play pool with Fred
West. Oi know he’s done
some iffy things, but as a
builder he was top-notch!”
Peripheral? Them? Only very
occasionally does the ennui of Kerry’s and
Kurtan’s lives — the boredom, the pointlessness, the weirdness of their close
friendship with the local vicar — become
something they have to confront.
If you think that sounds cruel, though,
you’d be wrong. This Country has an obvious debt to The Office, not just in its fly-onthe-wall styling, but also in its streak of
sentimentality. Kerry’s desire to be close to
her Peeping Tom father is heartbreaking
and Kurtan’s flares of protectiveness
towards her are lovely. I’m not sure where
This Country goes from here; it has chosen
a claustrophobic canvas and may soon run
out of space. Right now, though, it’s fresh,
funny and unusual. Give it a go.
Speaking of which, even though David
Brent was always forgivable, Ricky Gervais just isn’t. The last time he hosted the
Golden Globes, in 2016, you may remember him laying into Mel Gibson for being a
drunk, a racist, a sexist and an antisemite,
and rightly, and yet it was the guy who
once said “the Jews are responsible for all
the wars in the world” that I found myself
rooting for. Can’t really explain it.
Netflix, anyway, is now showing
Humanity, which is Gervais’s latest standup show. Most of it is about fights he has
had on Twitter. “I should have left it,” he
keeps saying, of each new spat.
There ’s something frankly undignified
about somebody as successful as him
effectively going on stage for an hour and
a half to whine about the mean things
people say to him on the internet, but
when Humanity hits the mark it hits it
hard. Witness, for example, his bemusement at the fundamentalist Christian who
tweeted him to tell him he’d be going to
hell, saying (sic): “YOUR SCIENTS
WON’T HELP YOU WHEN SATAN IS
RAPING YOUR BRITISH ASS!!! I’LL BE
LAUGHING.”
Gervais reads it, and frowns. “So . . . he’s
there too?”
Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago is a
strange, meandering and essentially
pointless endeavour, I suppose not unlike
its focus, which is the business of hiking
800km up Spanish mountains to get to a
church. The comedian Ed Byrne, one of
the celebrities taking part, puts it very well.
“It’s just a hangover from the 12th century
before we had cars,” he says.
The vicar Kate Bottley is having a crisis
of faith, alongside Heather Small of
M People, who spends all day climbing,
infuriatingly without ever saying: “I’m
moving on up.”
There is, perhaps, a fascinating documentary in the idea of who goes on pilgrimages and why, but one core problem is
that pretty much everybody on this show
wouldn’t give the honest answer: “Because
I’m a minor celebrity and I’m being paid.”
As the weeks go by, perhaps, their introspection and fellowship will make it all
worthwhile. Sometimes, already, it is oddly
moving. More often, though, as Bottley
puts it: “It’s just people walking up a hill.”
8 saturday review
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Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
film
‘If I’d had access to an iPhone at 15,
The director Steven Soderbergh talks to Kevin Maher about
Unsane, his new film shot entirely on his mobile for $1.2m
S
teven Soderbergh is about to
change Hollywood. Again.
The prolific 55-year-old
director (he did the Ocean’s
trilogy and Magic Mike),
2001 Oscar winner (Traffic)
and voracious workaholic
(he often acts as his own producer, cinematographer and editor) is better known
as the Tinseltown “disruptor”.
He turned the movie business on its
head in 1989 when his debut feature, Sex,
Lies, and Videotape, earned more than
$100 million on a budget of just $1.2 million
and ushered in the modern era of independent cinema. After a 24-year career of
shifting between Hollywood hits and
Matt Damon
took a role
because he
was intrigued
by the project
defiant offbeat experiments (such as
Bubble and Full Frontal), he announced
his early retirement in 2013, claiming that
he was repelled by bigger-is-better Hollywood economics and wanted simply to
become a painter. He returned, of course,
within the year to direct the critically
acclaimed TV series The Knick and eventually to make and self-distribute (deliberately bypassing the big Hollywood studios)
his heist movie Logan Lucky.
Now it’s time for the biggest change of
all. He has made a high-tension thriller
called Unsane that stars Claire Foy from
The Crown and which unfolds at a breakneck pace with oodles of paranoia in the
grandest narrative traditions of Hitchcock
and De Palma. It cost just over $1 million to
produce and features Matt Damon in a
pivotal supporting role. And crucially,
perhaps typically, Soderbergh shot it all
on his iPhone.
Well, three iPhones. The 7 Plus models.
The ones with 256GB of storage —
although he never filled them. He tried his
best, shooting everything at all times in
high-definition 4K resolution (as good as a
traditional movie camera — and, yes,
there is an app for that. It’s called FiLMiC
Pro). When we meet in an upmarket Berlin
hotel room, hours before Unsane has its
world premiere, Soderbergh is still
buzzing from the iPhone experience
and enjoys a lengthy “geek-out” about
smartphone cinema and what it means for
the future of the medium.
“I never would have imagined, growing
up, that a capture device with an image of
this quality could be so small and so
accessible to everyone,” he says, before
launching into a detailed explanation of
how he achieved Unsane’s polished appearance (lots of “apps” on the phone and
editing “plug-ins” on his laptop). And how
the iPhone allowed him greater flexibility
on set — no need for Steadicams or dolly
shots, just Soderbergh in a wheelchair,
holding on to his phone while gliding
smoothly across the floor.
The paradox here, of course, is that he
has utilised three decades of moviemaking nous to make sure that Unsane, the
first high-profile iPhone film, doesn’t look
like an iPhone film (the 2015 festival hit
Tangerine was shot on an iPhone 5S, and
boy, could you tell — lots of shakycam-
‘I had conflated
my frustration with
the film business
with directing’
induced headaches). And as much as he
enjoys the chat about plug-ins and image
stabilisers, he’s hoping that this won’t be
the only point of interest in the film.
“I am prepared for the idea that there
will be a dual conversation going on about
the movie and about its production
methods,” he says. “But I was kind of banking on the fact that, ten minutes in, since
it’s not part of the central conceit . . . it just
becomes a movie. Other than the fact that
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 9
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I would’ve had a different career’
The cast of Ocean’s Eleven, which Soderbergh directed in 2001
Andie MacDowell and James Spader in Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989)
I was able to, very quickly, put a lens anywhere I wanted, there is nothing in the film
that screams to a lay person, ‘This is shot
on an iPhone.’ ”
Foy is a case in point. She gives a standout performance, equal to anything she
has produced in The Crown, as the bracing
and frequently potty-mouthed American
banker Sawyer Valentini (Her regular “I
f***ing hate you!” will leave the more delicate fans of her Elizabeth II reeling). A
recovering victim of stalking, Valentini
attends an outpatient counselling session
at a local mental hospital, during which
her casual reference to suicidal thoughts
triggers a terrifying and Kafkaesque institutional response — stripped, searched,
bound and injected.
The rest of the film is about her rage, and
her relentless bids to escape the secure
hospital and to defy the stalker (Joshua
Leonard) who has suddenly appeared as a
blank-faced orderly. Soderbergh says that
he became aware of Foy in early 2017 at the
Golden Globes, where she won best
actress in a television series for The Crown.
“I remember looking at her and thinking, ‘She seems really cool, I should watch
that show,’ ” he says. “I was taken by her
old-school magnetism. I went to see her in
London to pitch the project — my sense of
her as a person was that, emotionally, she
was more close to Sawyer than she was to
the Queen. You know? She’s a fun hang.
She’s not buttoned-up. She said yes to it
and I think, for her, it was just fun to
annihilate everything that she’d done for
the past year or two.”
The finished film is an accomplished
white-knuckle ride, with a top-class turn
from Foy, some patchy plot leaps (how did
the stalker get a job so quickly in the hospital?) and a satisfyingly gory finale, with
requisite narrative twist. And yet the
chances that it will become known as
anything other than “the iPhone movie”
(or the “first big iPhone movie”) are slim.
Take Damon, for instance, who plays a
security expert. What attracted him
to the role? “He was just intrigued by the project
and how I was going to do
it,” Soderbergh says. “So
he said, ‘Isn’t there anything I can do, just
because I want to see how
this is going to work?’ ”
Soderbergh talks some
more about the allure of
the technology, how he
on the line Claire Foy
in Unsane. Above: Julia
Roberts in Erin
Brockovich (2000).
Below: Steven
Soderbergh with Foy at
the premiere of Unsane
can’t imagine shooting any other way,
how his next film, High Flying Bird, starring
Moonlight’s André Holland, is also going
to be shot on an iPhone. He talks about
the financial benefits of cutting back on
crew and equipment, and the speed at
which smartphone movies can be made
(Unsane was shot in two weeks). Then he
sighs. “All I can think is, ‘God, if I’d had access to this at 15, I would have had a very
different career.’ ”
Soderbergh grew up in Louisiana, the
second youngest of six children born to a
university dean father and a teacher
mother. The marriage was unsuccessful,
although Soderbergh speaks highly
of his father as an influential figure,
emotionally and intellectually, and as
the one who nudged him towards cinema (“He was a film nut and I became
interested in movies because of him”).
With a precocious intellect,
Soderbergh was already
writing fiction as a teenager and attending
film-making classes at
Louisiana State University. He had written
six unproduced screenplays by the time he was
26, when Sex, Lies, and Videotape became
a phenomenon. His subsequent career
always seemed to have a restless edge and
he consistently experimented with narrative forms and techniques, often making
flops (Schizopolis and Full Frontal) as well
as global smashes (Magic Mike).
It was no surprise, then, that when he
retired in 2013 he did so with an infamous
valedictory speech at the San Francisco
International Film Festival, during which
he eviscerated the Hollywood machine for
being bloated, ineffective and filled with
money-making middle men who know
nothing about cinema. “That speech was
very much, you know, tossing a grenade
over my shoulder as I left the room,” he
says. “And the retirement wasn’t a joke. I
had cleared the decks. I had nothing
in front of me and I was already taking
painting lessons.”
What changed? “I was a couple of
months into it and I was in Cannes with
the Liberace film [Behind the Candelabra]
when the script for The Knick came in,” he
says. “I couldn’t not do it. It was about race,
class, knowledge creation and technology.
Everything that I’m interested in. What I
realised once we started shooting was that
I had conflated my frustration with the
film business with directing. I love directing. I just don’t like the movie business.”
Soderbergh lives in New York and is
married to the TV host Jules Asner. He has
a grown-up daughter from his first
marriage, to the actress Betsy Brantley.
He’s still savagely busy, with a film about
the Panama Papers on the way, as well as
the TV series Mosaic (a whodunnit murder
mystery that has been made interactive via
a smartphone app — of course).
He does not, however, buy into the
hyperbole about today’s “golden age of
television”. “There’s a lot of good TV about,
but it’s not a linear relationship between
the amount that’s made and the amount of
great stuff that’s made. There are still, at
the end of the day, not a lot of people who
can execute at a high level.”
And Soderbergh? Now that he has
brought the iPhone to mainstream Hollywood, where to next? Another retirement?
More painting? Fewer films? He shrugs.
It’s a time thing, he says. “If you operate
under the belief system that I operate
under, which is that there’s nothing following death, and my father was 69 when he
died, and I’ve just turned 55, well then I
can’t help thinking, ‘OK, if I have 14 more
years left, what do I want to spend that
doing?’ ”
He gives himself a little shake, as if the
answer is the most obvious thing on the
planet. “In my case, I want to spend that
time making stuff.”
Unsane opens in cinemas nationwide
on March 23
Exclusive screening and Q&A
Subscribers can join us on Wednesday,
March 21 for a preview screening of
an episode from Sky Arts’ Urban
Myths series, based on Marilyn
Monroe and Billy Wilder on the
set of the 1959 classic romantic
comedy Some Like It Hot. To book
visit mytimesplus.co.uk
10 saturday review
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Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
PETER VAN BREUKELEN/REDFERNS/GETTY IMAGES
jazz
‘I’ve been drunk
on music since
I was a boy’
As Charles Lloyd, revered jazz saxophonist,
reaches 80, he tells John Bungey about his life
and times with Dylan, Hendrix and Elvis
C
harles Lloyd, a musician
who has lived many lives,
fixes me with his wise-owl
gaze and says quietly: “I
am one of the last of the
Mohicans. There aren’t
too many of us left.”
Mohicans? Lloyd, still busy performing
as he reaches his 80th birthday on Thursday March 15, is referring to that band of
jazz elder statesman — Wayne Shorter,
Sonny Rollins, Pharoah Sanders — whose
life journey has been as much spiritual as
musical: sax man meets shaman.
“I come from the source,” Lloyd continues. “When I was growing up in Memphis,
Duke Ellington and Count Basie used to
stay in my mother’s house, so I’ve always
been around this music . . . I have been
drunk on this music since I was a little boy.”
While Lloyd has never enjoyed the
profile here of Miles Davis or Rollins, the
saxophonist and flautist has journeyed
through one of the most remarkable musical careers of the postwar years. His first
band as leader, with the young Keith
Jarrett on piano, swiftly made a millionselling album — almost unheard of then
for instrumental jazz. In flower-power San
Francisco, he shared bills with the Grateful
‘Elvis would come
over the house and
eat all the time. He
drove an ice truck’
Dead and Janis Joplin. But then Lloyd
crashed and burnt. He quit the business,
reluctant to play stadiums or become “a
commodity”, and retired to the woods in
Big Sur, California, to pursue “a simple life
with high thinking” and find a cave for
transcendental meditation.
Lloyd spent a decade largely off the map
before re-emerging after the French pianist Michel Petrucciani turned up at his
door seeking help with his career. Petrucciani, 99cm tall and born with glass bone
disease, was an astonishing virtuoso. They
toured together for two years to huge
acclaim. Today the veteran saxophonist
and his New Quartet, with pianist Jason
Moran, drummer Eric Harland and bassist
Reuben Rogers, have a claim to be the
greatest small group in jazz. He also plays
with a second admired band, the Marvels,
who feature guitarist Bill Frisell and the
trenchant vocals of Lucinda Williams
(“she’s the female Bob Dylan”). Their
second album is being readied for release.
“I’m a bluesman on a spiritual journey,”
is how he describes a path that has crossed
those of a remarkable number of musical
icons. He planned to make an album with
his friend Jimi Hendrix (“but the time
ran out”). He recorded in Brian Wilson’s
studio. He hung out with Bob Dylan and
the Band in Woodstock.
Before all that, however, as a teenager in
Memphis he played with Howlin’ Wolf and
BB King. Lloyd also ran into the pre-fame
Elvis Presley. The brother of the man
teaching Lloyd saxophone was teaching
Presley some guitar. “We played in a band
in a white dance hall in west Memphis.
Elvis would come over every night to
watch Calvin [Newborn, the guitarist] play
and move his legs and wiggle and stuff.
Elvis stole a lot of that. But not the guitar
technique. He could never do that.
“Elvis would come over the house and
eat all the time. He was a truck driver,
drove an ice truck.” Did Presley strike
Lloyd as someone who would turn western
popular music on its head?
“No. No he didn’t.”
I’m meeting Lloyd in a Paris hotel as he
heads home to California from shows in
Poland. He is with his wife/manager Dorothy Darr. (“She’s a blessing in my life. She
takes care of everything. She’s a painter, a
film-maker, a renaissance woman and
architect, she built the world I live in.”)
Darr helps to sort out the seating, makes
sure Lloyd is comfy. There is a gentle
married-couple tussle about the lighting.
Later Darr outlines the saxophonist’s
schedule for the year ahead. It includes a
gala show on his birthday in Santa Barbara, near where the couple live in a modernist ocean-view villa designed by Darr.
Lloyd’s health is a little fragile — he is
swaddled in a fleece and beanie — but he
is happy with life. It’s a contrast to the turbulence he felt as a young man, when his
1967 album Forest Flower became a pop
chart hit. “I was selling records to a big
audience, but the record contract was
so odious that I had extremely limited
income. For my sanity I had to walk away.
I was getting away from my spiritual moorings and my music was suffering.”
He also had to quit the “tragic magic”
(drugs) with which he was self-medicating.
Lloyd describes the bohemian life he lived
in New York. It’s a snapshot of a different
age. “I had a big loft in Greenwich Village.
I had three floors after Andy Warhol’s
people moved out of the bottom one. It was
$100 a floor each month. Ornette Coleman [saxophonist] was round the corner.
The guy who wrote the music for Hair was
in the building. Dylan lived round the
corner. I knew Jimi Hendrix, who was
playing to five people at Cafe Wha? down
the street. He was starving then.”
Was Dylan just a regular guy? Lloyd
mulls this over. “As regular as any of us
could be. We were all kinda out there.”
When Dylan and his group, the Band,
quit city life for upstate New York, Lloyd
felt he should flee the city too. “I would
visit them in Woodstock. Dylan had a big
Victorian rambling kind of thing. I went
over there once and he had just recorded
the album John Wesley Harding and he
wanted me to overdub some saxophone.
But when I heard it I thought it was simple
and direct and didn’t need anything.”
Lloyd smiles. “We were all into hi-fi then,
but Dylan played this thing on a little record
player. I said, ‘Where’s your sound system?’
He said, ‘Oh man, it’s too many wires.’ ”
Lloyd did eventually leave New York,
heading for the west coast — first Malibu,
where the actors Larry Hagman and Peter
Fonda became friends. But wanting more
solitude he moved again, north to Big Sur.
During his “exile” from the music business
Lloyd recorded a little with some friends
and fans — the Beach Boys. There were
shared spiritual interests too. “I had been
doing transcendental meditation before
the Beatles or any of those guys. Mike Love
and Al Jardine and I would go on courses
to India with the Maharishi.”
Lloyd was also offered use of Brian
Wilson’s studio. “Brian was not functioning so well. He had that sand-box in his living room [so he could feel the beach
between his toes while he composed]. He’d
go around in his bathrobe. He had a big old
Spanish mansion in Bel Air that used to
belong to the racist guy who wrote Tarzan
novels . . . Edgar Rice Burroughs. I’d be
downstairs and Brian would come down
and sing harmonies.”
Life with the Beach Boys was sweet. “It
was private jets, tons of limousines on the
friends in high places
Saxophonist Charles
Lloyd performing at the
Jazz Middelheim Festival
last year
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tarmac, servants everywhere. You didn’t
have to carry your horn. You didn’t have to
do anything.” Lloyd played some gigs in the
Beach Boys’ band and appears on the Surf’s
Up album. Then writs between the warring
band members began flying about. “It
wasn’t a place to be around. They were dysfunctional and not getting along, so I left.”
In Big Sur the next musical chapter began
in 1981 when the Frenchman with osteogenesis imperfecta turned up at his door.
Some have suggested that Lloyd knew he
was coming. Lloyd had been reading a Sanskrit text that talked about “a man with a
bent frame” coming across the ocean.
“Michel had a bent frame, but that was just
coincidence, I’m not psychic like that. I saw
that he had this beautiful talent. I decided
that because the elders had always helped
me in my work I would help him, so I took
him round the world for a couple of years
and got him started.” Petrucciani needed
crutches to walk and Lloyd would carry
him to the piano stool cradled in his arms.
This was the beginning of Lloyd’s return
to music, with a new, more searching
sound, but that same buttery tone. Perhaps
because of his heritage — part AfricanAmerican, part Cherokee, part Mongolian
— Lloyd’s albums for the ECM then Blue
Note labels have embraced multiple musical languages. His wife passes Lloyd his
laptop and he plays tracks from the next
Marvels album. It’s a wonderful, rootsy
mix of blues, Americana and Ornette
Coleman-ish jazz freedom.
In a cynical world he views jazz music as
a healing force, and says he has a duty to
keep playing. “I’m out here trying to sing a
song of enlightenment that helps us wake
up to our full potential.” He adds with a
smile: “We’re servants, we’re musicians
and there’s no more beautiful way to serve
than with music.”
The new Charles Lloyd and the
Marvels album, as yet unnamed, will
be released on Blue Note in June
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 11
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books
Why are we making our doctors ill?
PETER BROOKES FOR THE TIMES
Book of the week
This furious dispatch
from the front line of
the hospital system
argues we must care
for our medics more,
says Helen Rumbelow
T
here is a particularly oldfashioned British attitude to
overworked junior doctors. We
think their stressful, workaholic
years are both amusing and
awful; that a beasting is good for them. We
are strangely casual about the higher
death rate in August when newly minted
doctors are let loose in the hospitals, basically unsupported — deaths go up by 6 per
cent. “Don’t get ill in August!” we say,
rather than wondering whether there may
be a better way than just letting people die
needlessly at the hands of a shellshocked
kid with a new stethoscope who won’t
forget the guilt for the rest of her life.
We shrug when hospital doctors are not
allowed to sleep, or are put on crazily erratic shift patterns, or their training moves
them from city to city far from home every
few months, and are then exposed to death
after death, child deaths, agonising deaths,
deaths that may be their fault, for up to a
decade of their life as they struggle up the
ranks. “Bunch of snowflakes — they’ll be
fat-cat consultants on the golf course
before long!” we say.
There is a folk attitude, probably it is
a misplaced jealousy, that resists every
attempt at compassion, or change to the
way junior doctors are trained. They are
treated much like prefects at Eton treated
their fags in the 19th century; no thrashing
too harsh, because the fag will inflict the
thrashing later. The beautifully logical
thing about this system is that those
already brutalised are some of its fiercest
protectors. If junior doctors complain,
there will be flush-faced old consultants
who think that if they can’t hack it they
should just go into pharmacy instead.
Maybe the time has come to change.
Crazy idea, I know, but maybe. That is the
subject of Also Human, a furious new book
by Caroline Elton. Elton is a psychologist
who has worked with NHS doctors for
three decades, helping distraught individual doctors and trying to change their
training. She uses case studies of her
clients to mark the contrast between
remarkable advances in medical science
and the savagery of their working conditions. Between a quarter to a third of junior
doctors are depressed; one study showed
that one in 17 had suicidal thoughts. The
suicide rate for doctors is at least double
that of civilians, more so for women (the
recent suicides of female junior doctors
such as Rose Polge and Rebecca Ovenden
added to the toll).
Attempts from Elton to exert pressure to
change on senior doctors are, with only a
few exceptions, met with eye-rolls, denial
and pushback. One prizewinning, brilliant
young medic, “Hilary”, will always
remember her first day as a junior doctor.
Despite lots of lip service to the importance of support from seniors, she was left
critical condition The Times cartoonist Peter Brookes’s comment on the NHS, which Caroline Elton criticises for its hard treatment of junior doctors
alone caring for a ward of seriously ill
patients, one of them, even to her
untrained eye, in a bad way: grey skin,
motionless, just able to mutter he was
dying. She couldn’t find anyone to help. In
the end, in a panic, she grabbed a fellow
junior doctor who made a phone call to her
mother, who was a nurse. That nurse was
able to save the man’s life.
The system “doesn’t care”, Hilary
reports bitterly as she struggled for years
to battle her demons to stay in medicine.
“It chews people up, spits them out and
then gets another well-meaning chump to
replace them.”
Another case study is “Bella”, an
academically gifted doctor who was
anxious about making clinical decisions.
Instead of receiving support, she found her
confidence shredded by a senior who
shouted at her. Ten weeks into the job as a
junior doctor Bella felt so isolated and
unsupported that she was signed off sick
with depression and referred to a psychiatrist. “Bella’s case still makes me angry,”
Elton says. “How is it possible for somebody to slog their way through a six-year
medical degree, do brilliantly in finals, and
then last just ten weeks in their first job?”
I read Also Human just after finishing
This Is Going to Hurt, Adam Kay’s memoir
of six years of training in obstetrics. They
are very different works of nonfiction by
two people intimately involved in the
NHS, but they feel like companion pieces.
While Kay’s bestselling book seems like a
larky Carry On Doctor account of things
shoved up orifices, it is actually a devastat-
Also Human
The Inner Lives
of Doctors
by Caroline Elton
William Heinemann,
396pp; £16.99
‘The system
chews people
up, spits
them out and
gets another
well-meaning
chump’
ing diary of how unthinking systems can
lay waste to talented young humans. I
laughed at Kay’s anecdotes, but it felt a
little like a comedian writing dispatches
from the Somme.
There was the night when one of Kay’s
colleagues arrived in hospital having
attempted suicide. “The only surprise is
that it doesn’t happen more often — you’re
given huge responsibility, minimal supervision and absolutely no pastoral support,”
Kay writes. “You work yourself to exhaustion, pushing yourself beyond what could
be reasonably expected of you, and end up
constantly feeling like you don’t know
what you’re doing.” If that doctor had died
“I doubt we’d have got so much as an
email . . . I’m pretty unshockable, but I’ll
never cease to be amazed by hospitals’
wilful ineptitude when it comes to caring
for their own staff.”
When a young mother dies on the operating table amid litres of gore, Kay was
left in terrible shock, but not offered a day
off, instead enduring undiagnosed posttraumatic stress disorder that eventually
made him quit the profession.
Elton’s book feels almost as though it is
in therapeutic conversation with Kay’s. It
also has moments that would be almost
funny if they weren’t so awful. The female
surgeons being groped by fellow doctors
while operating — yes, while operating.
(One trainee surgeon said: “I’ve had
people say to me, ‘You’re either a woman
or a neurosurgeon, you can’t be both.’ ”) Or
the junior doctors being told to “practise”
pelvic examinations on women who have
been given a general anaesthetic and have
no idea that queues of students lined up to
give them a rummage while they were
unconscious. The culture of never questioning when things feel wrong: “A systematic psycholectomy has been performed
on the profession as a whole.”
Problems, she says, are blamed on individual “weakness”, encouraging doctors to
disavow any vulnerability until they finally
crack, despite nearly every traumatic role
from the millitary to emergency services
now including protocols for mental-health
support. However, Elton says that doctors
are meant to be uniquely immune, as if
they are just too intelligent for emotions or
that kind of nonsense.
Prioritising sleep, and minimising relocation and unpredictable hours, would be
a start. For any of that to happen, though,
would mean a fundamental shift in the
trainee doctor culture, from a war zone
fuelled by testosterone and adrenaline to a
modern professional workplace. This is
not a book that will find its popular audience. It is a little too dense with research, a
little too polemical for that. However, it
does feel like a book that may have found
its popular moment.
“In 150 years’ time, the attention given to
doctor’s emotional wellbeing will match
that given currently to infection control,”
Elton writes. “Perhaps historians looking
back at how we treated doctors in 2017 will
regard our medical system with the same
horror that we experience when we read
about surgeons in Lister’s day refusing to
wash their hands.”
12 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
nonfiction
A manual for
troubled times
planning and the ability to assess outcomes correctly when it headed into
battle. Generalship means, of course,
taking stock of the “knowns” — geography, climate, your own capabilities,
your objectives — and the “probabilities”,
which include the shifting goals of your
enemies, the reliability of allies, your
country’s capacity to endure adversity.
And then, between the two, there are the
“unknowns”.
Does the US president have the ability
to process these factors and come up
with swift and sage decisions? Or is he
winging it? We know his generals are sage
enough, from their reading and writings;
indeed, some have probably been taught
by Gaddis. There is something, however,
uniquely lonely about being commanderin-chief, especially one who lives not so
much in the White House as on the edge of
a precipice.
Trump’s first serious challenge is fast
approaching, a set of decisions that could
move his country from peace to war. As he
mugs up for his abruptly arranged summit
with Kim Jong-un, it will soon be clear
whether Trump has the real mettle of
leadership. Gaddis quotes as a useful presidential yardstick a judgment on Franklin
D Roosevelt: “A second-class intellect, but
Pray for leaders with
grace under fire: that
is one lesson from this
study of strategy from
Thucydides to Trump,
says Roger Boyes
B
ong! Here is the news. The US and
China head for trade war. Bong!
Russia tests unbeatable hypersonic missile. Kim Jong-un and
Donald Trump to meet in madman summit. Russia poisons spy. Trump
fires secretary of state. Bong! Bong! Bong!
On Grand
Strategy
by John Lewis Gaddis
Allen Lane, 384pp; £25
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to spend my
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Khrushchev said
West Berlin was ‘the
testicles of the West’ —
to be squeezed at will
history lesson You can’t wander about in confusion, like Bezukhov at Borodino
That’s just the past week. It is a whirligig;
sometimes it feels as if we are being ruled
by dervishes. Little wonder, then, that
books on strategy are rolling off the presses, from Lawrence Freedman to Henry
Kissinger to Graham Allison and now the
formidable John Lewis Gaddis, all anxious
to introduce order to our decision-making,
restore a sense of logical progression.
On Grand Strategy sounds as if it should
be a modern version of Clausewitz’s On
War. In fact, it is an extraordinary treatise
on the need to teach the principles of
sound strategy to today’s leaders. And they
really need to be taught. It was Kissinger
who once pointed out that the intellectual
capital leaders accumulate as they climb
the ladder is all they will be able to draw on
when they reach the top; once they are in
the driving seat, there’s no time to reset the
compass or do anything much — apart
from avoiding the oncoming traffic.
So without mentioning the man’s name,
this is a book about Trump, the present
commander-in-chief, or rather about how
to teach the generals who advise him. How
to plan, how to learn from mistakes, how
to establish momentum, how to surprise
an opponent, how to gain decisive victory.
I’m a great admirer of Gaddis’s last book
about the Cold War, in which he gives a
riveting account of the Korean War, still
not formally ended, and will always be
grateful for his reminder that Nikita
Khrushchev described encircled West
Berlin as “the testicles of the West” to be
squeezed at will. On Grand Strategy strikes
a different tone, still a good read, but also
a kind of meta-textbook, an account of
how his instruction of successive generations of military officers can in turn train
us to think strategically.
In 1975, when Gaddis started as a young
lecturer to officers at the US Naval War
College, Saigon had only recently fallen. It
was a national humiliation that reduced
many officers to a bewildered silence.
What had happened to America, its
supposed greatness? Before arrival at
college they were instructed to read a thick
paperback: Thucydides’s account of the
Peloponnesian wars. It was for Gaddis to
winkle out the lessons from this classic.
Thucydides, after all, wrote about walls,
navies, ideologies, empires: staples of contemporary foreign policy. In teasing out
the war-winning differences between
Athens and Sparta, however, Gaddis
started to touch a nerve. Did the democracy in Athens defeat itself? What were
the Athenians thinking when they sent an
army to rough and distant Sicily? “At
which point there was a silence,” Gaddis
recalls, “followed by a falling away of all
constraints. Vietnam was not only up for
discussion — it was for weeks all we talked
about. We were doing post-traumatic
stress therapy before it had a name.
Thucydides trained us.”
Strategy is taught by stealth, by analogy,
by searching for the right balance between
action and inaction, between from within
clouds and keeping the ground in view.
That’s Clausewitz and it’s Leo
Tolstoy’s War and Peace. You can’t just
wander around in history in a state of
confusion, Gaddis tells his military
students, like Tolstoy’s Pierre Bezukhov
at the battle of Borodino. You have to
search for the basic principles underpinning defeat before you can understand
victory.
For all of America’s firepower in Vietnam, it lacked the diplomatic depth, the
a first-class temperament.” It is temperament, grace under pressure, that distinguishes good leadership on the cusp of war.
No cause for concern, then.
Gaddis, like other writers in the field —
Christopher Coker, for example — grasps
that writing on strategy has to span world
literature and popular culture. This is only
right in a world where people crave advice
on how to run increasingly complex organisations, or compete against sophisticated
commercial rivals. The chief executive of
a global high-tech company faces many
of the challenges faced by Napoleon
or Xerxes and has to deal with similar
pitfalls.
Gaddis uses, perhaps overuses, Isaiah
Berlin’s taxonomy of hedgehogs (who have
one strong idea that they stick to through
thick and thin) and foxes (who have many
ideas and are nimble, but unconstant).
When a strategic plan is confronted with
reality, commanders have to be part hedgehog, part fox. This is not a blinding insight.
Nor is the down-with-the-kids quote from
Spider-Man’s Uncle Ben: “With great
power comes great responsibility.”
The book nonetheless is a rich one. It
makes sense of our world, but is also
capable of beautifully crafted pithy historical judgments. Bismarck, he says, “unified
the country by provoking wars but then
secured peace by balancing resentments”.
And there is a kind of genius about how he
identifies historical pivots.
The world changed, he argues, on a
single August evening in 1588 when Elizabeth I trusted her admirals to trust the
wind and send English fireships towards
the Spanish Armada. The Spanish defeat
opened the American continent to colonisation by northern Europeans — and the
eventual creation of the United States.
Strategic decisions can have ripple effects
stretching through centuries.
It is a book that cares about liberty,
choice and a moral compass, that warns
against the hubris of an angry Bonaparte
on the turn in a Russian winter, against
leaders who do not listen or learn. A training manual for our troubled times.
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 13
1G R
classic read
My family and other lodgers
JOHN ROGERS; GETTY IMAGES
Snobby or funny?
Roger Lewis has doubts
about this reissued
memoir by a member
of the Durrell clan
Whatever
Happened
to Margo?
by Margaret Durrell
Penguin, 259pp; £9.99
‘Y
ou, dear, will start a guest
house. Not a common affair,
but something rather superior, something secure — and
safe!” So in 1947 Margo
Durrell, following the advice of Aunt
Patience, did just that.
The Durrells, thanks to My Family and
Other Animals, are famous for their antics
in Corfu, but Whatever Happened to Margo? is a memoir by Margo/Margaret —
younger sister of Lawrence, elder sibling to
Gerald — about the boarding house she
ran in Bournemouth.
Unlike her mother and Gerald, who left
Corfu in 1939, Margaret stayed on the
island for some of the war, long enough to
meet an RAF pilot stationed there and
marry him, then later divorce. Back in
England with two young children and
nothing to live on except a dwindling
inheritance, dividends, pensions and
trusts, Margo (with a family legacy) buys a
crumbling mansion, intending to let out
the rooms to retired gentry and bridgeplaying officers’ widows.
The best part of the book, first published
in 1995, is the description of the Edwardian
seaside architecture of the immediate
A meal is made of
melodramas such as
purloined bathplugs
and a chimney fire
postwar period: decaying villas with
shuttered windows, cobwebby ballrooms,
marble pillars spiralling up to ornate ceilings, wide staircases and huge bathrooms
with cast-iron baths. No one wanted those
white elephants and they were being
turned into schools, offices or terrible bedsits, giving off “the nauseous staleness of
fish stew and embrocation”.
Margo purchases her property from a
spinster who had been a missionary in
China. Immediately Aunt Patience, an
imperious Lady Bracknell figure, descends,
dispensing advice. “The house must be run
on a thoroughly business-like and respectable basis.” Signs have to go up stating
“Leave the bath as you wish to find it” and
“Gentlemen will please lift the seat before
using”, or “There will be no entertaining of
the opposite sex after 10pm or before 11am”.
Another injunction is “The use of newspaper is prohibited”, which puzzled me
briefly. It’s a wonder Margo didn’t mention
my favourite notice: “Don’t keep the
chamber pot under the bed as it rusts the
springs.” A friend of mine once saw a sign
in a theatrical boarding house that haunted him all his life: “No solids.”
What terrified the impecunious middle
class in the Forties and Fifties was the loss
of respectability. Hence the advertisements to appeal to the distressed gentlefolk Margo thought she might print in the
local Bournemouth newspapers: “Delightful residence for cultured persons.” Herr
aunt hopes such an advert will attractt
“people of breeding”. Naturally, when
n
Aunt Patience comes to visit and encoun-ters Nelson, the “monstrous fat boy” who
o
plays with a catapult and breeds whitee
mice to feed Gerald’s python, she announnces, in Edith Evans fashion: “Is there no
o
elocution taught in the schools of today?”
?”
Margo’s mother — Keeley Hawes in
the television series The Durrells, which
h
returns to ITV tomorrow, and I fear this
book could easily be adapted — cautions
her daughter about “lewd male lodgers,
landladies throttled at their posts,
questionable virtue and remarkable
deaths”. It is a shame really that the book
doesn’t live up to this — the seedy seaside
boarding house is Graham Greene or
Patrick Hamilton territory.
Instead we settle for a procession of
rather predictable “eccentrics” and what
Margo, tiresomely alluding to Churchill,
calls “this inglorious battlefield of human
conflicts”. There is the artist who wants to
paint nudes. “Naked, how else can you
show the human form in all its beauty?”
He has a wife, Olwen, whom he bosses
about. There is the noisy trumpet player.
There is the sad little Mr Bleaney sort, who
“clung with the tenacity of a cat with a
mouse to a large moustache” and who is a
martyr to piles, boils and his bald patch.
Although male lodgers are to be feared
animal family The cast
of the ITV series The
Durrells, with Daisy
Waterstone as Margot,
second from right.
Above: a 1947 rail travel
poster promoting
Bournemouth
— “Well,
ll you know what men are! It’s aall
sex with some. Never too old. Disgusting
I call it!” says a neighbour — the congenital
bachelors are at least nice and quiet, especially if there are hints of “good breeding”
in the background to “explain” the flamboyance. I groaned when a man called
Percival Johnson appeared, a TerryThomas toff who “certainly made his presence felt as he settled in our midst” — for
of course he is a confidence trickster, bigamist and scatterer of bouncing cheques.
We meet demobbed soldiers and their
wives, looking for any kind of clerical work
in the local council offices, or even on the
beach in charge of deckchairs. Margo gives
a home to nurses — the “skinny, parsimonious plain Janes” are easier to handle
than the pretty ones, who try to smuggle in
their boyfriends, risking the establishment
being reported to the police as a brothel. A
real dilemma is whether to admit anyone
who is pregnant. “Do you allow pregnant
women here?” Margo is challenged. “Most
landladies don’t.” The nappies, the noise of
babies crying. Such a nuisance.
Chapters are padded out and a meal
made of melodramas such as purloined
bathplugs, blocked drains and a chimney
fire. The sudden arrivals of dragon aunts
create predictable panic. Honeymooners
splash about in the bathroom, “blissfully
unaware of an audience” on the landing.
There’s a would-be farcical set piece about
the escape of Gerald’s monkeys, which he
has cooped up in the garage. They hilariously frighten the chickens, climb up the
neighbour’s trees and bite everyone. Pray
cease, else I’ll crack a rib.
Whatever Happened to Margo?, though
presented as comedy, is snobbish. She
deems the ungrammatical way common
people talk automatically funny. The
speech of the lower orders is transcribed a
little too frequently throughout this book
for my taste. Tradesmen are “sly old
rogues” who stink of beer. A lot of the
writing is arch and condescending. For
example, Margo is the sort of person who
calls a doorway “my threshold”.
Kingsley Amis once said: “The point
about white burgundies is that I hate them
myself.” I suffer from a similar lack of affinity with the Durrells. Lawrence’s precious
and gelatinous novels are unreadable.
Gerald’s capture of wild animals to stick
them in zoos is unspeakable. I gasped at a
witticism, voiced by Gerald, who by the
way rounded up his monkeys and shoved
them back in the dark, heedless of their
cries for fresh air and freedom. “If rape is
inevitable, lie down and enjoy it,” he says.
This book really does encapsulate the
impoverished, sordid postwar scene in
ways that I hadn’t expected.
14 saturday review
1G R
nonfiction
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
DMITRI KASTERINE/CAMERA PRESS
How to raise a
tortured novelist
The best writers had
weird relationships
with their mothers,
says James Marriott
Writers and
Their Mothers
edited by Dale Salwak
Palgrave Macmillan,
258pp; £19.50
T
here are different ways to raise a
child. You can do the usual stuff:
packed lunches, pocket money,
cuddles. Or you can fill them
with your hopes and dreams, set
them an extensive programme of reading
and yearn desperately for their success. If
you follow the first approach you’ll probably get a happy well-rounded adult. If you
go for the second, you may well find yourself with a literary genius on your hands —
albeit a rather screwed-up one. That,
roughly, is the parenting tip I extracted
from this collection of essays about writers
and their mothers.
John Ruskin, the Victorian critic and
essayist, is a case in point. Ruskin tells us
that when he was born, his mother, Margaret, “dedicated me to God”. That was about
as much fun as it sounds: his childhood was
filled with beatings and Bible study. Toys
were frowned upon. “I had a bunch of keys
to play with,” Ruskin reported optimistically. When he went up to Oxford, Margaret went too. Ruskin repaired to her lodgings at the end of every evening, an
arrangement that may be unique in the
history of the university. He lived with her
for most of his life until she died at 90.
In his essay on Ruskin in this book,
Anthony Daniels reasonably suggests that
Ruskin’s “intense but cold” relationship
with his mother was at the root of his
oddness and “inability to form a satisfactory adult relationship with a woman”.
Famously, he was unable to consummate
his marriage; although it’s probably a myth
that he was horrified by his wife’s pubic
hair, he may have been repelled by her
menstrual blood.
Ruskin was also sexually attracted to
young girls. He told an acquaintance that
“I like my girls from 10 to 16”, and wrote to
the children’s illustrator Kate Greenaway
asking her to send him drawings of naked
“girlies”. That’s not to mention his frequent
depressions and his madness in later life.
But Ruskin was a genius — and he probably owes this to his mother too. His prose,
from the tangled visionary thickets of
Modern Painters to the more accessible
beauties of The Stones of Venice and
Praeterita, owes much of its magnificence
to the biblical verses drummed into him on
his mother’s knee.
If Ruskin’s mother was remote, Sylvia
Plath’s mother pressed her love all too
close. Plath remarked to her brother: “You
know, as I do, and it is a frightening thing,
that mother would actually Kill herself for
us . . . She is an abnormally altruistic person.” All that love needed repaying. Plath
felt that “after extracting her life-blood
and care for 20 years, we should start
bringing in big dividends of joy for her”.
Plath paid her dividends in poetry.
One of the great creative tensions of
Plath’s life was between the need to write
poems for her mother and her need to
write the violent, expressionistic imagery
no mother could wish from her child: “My
face a featureless, fine/ Jew linen”, “Every
woman adores a Fascist,/ The boot in the
face”. Freedom began only when Plath’s
therapist told her: “I give you permission to
hate your mother.”
Not all the mother-child relationships in
the book are as patently tortured as those
endured by Plath and Ruskin. Philip Larkin enjoyed an affectionate relationship
with his mother, Eva. His letters to her,
addressed to “Dearest old creature”, are
a flood of amiable trivia about radio
programmes, neighbours, problems with
the gas fire, work and so on.
For her part, Eva advised her son against
marriage, quoting George Bernard Shaw:
“It is marriage that kills the heart and
keeps it dead. Better starve the heart than
overfeed it.” Thanks, Mum. Larkin, of
course, never married. There’s something
of a pattern here. Louisa May Alcott’s
mother is presented as a model of tactful
proto-feminist supportiveness, but Alcott
never married either. Was Alcott, like Larkin, unable to let go of her “Marmee”?
The book is filled with such dangling,
unanswered questions. Trying to stuff
what is often the most important relationship of a writer’s life into a few brief pages
is a hopeless task. It doesn’t help that many
of the essays are full of inelegant academese and the sort of pointless narcoleptic
sentences that bore themselves (and the
reader) to sleep before they reach the midway point. “The activity of letter writing
was crucial in forming an important
commonality between mother and son . . . ”
explains Philip Pullen, writing on Larkin.
Daniels notes that “the term Ruskinian
has connotations without very clear denotations”. But of course. Later in the book I
performed a small private facepalm when
mommy dearest From
left, Martin Amis, his
stepmother, Elizabeth
Jane Howard, whom he
credits with straightening
him out, and his father,
Kingsley Amis
‘You know, as
I do, and it is
a frightening
thing, that
mother would
actually Kill
herself for us’
A painfully familiar echo from history
Don’t be complacent:
Hitler’s rise still
carries lessons for us,
says Gerard DeGroot
J
ust after 9pm on February 27, 1933
the Reichstag in Berlin caught fire.
Disasters are supposed to be
chaotic, but this one seemed
strangely scripted. Firefighters
arrived promptly at the German parliament and quickly had the blaze under
control. Within minutes police had
arrested Marinus van der Lubbe, a Dutchman who confessed to arson.
Joseph Goebbels, Herman Goering and
Adolf Hitler arrived while the fire was still
raging, Goering and Hitler with carefully
prepared statements. “There will be no
mercy now,” Hitler shouted. “Every communist official will be shot where he is
found. The communist deputies must be
hanged this very night!” Working from
prepared lists, police started rounding up
communists, clergymen, pacifists, lawyers
and other enemies of the state.
Those Germans. They are efficient.
There’s just one problem. Whoever started
the fire had to be familiar with the Reichstag’s interior to find his way through it in
the dark. Van der Lubbe had never been in
the building and was nearly blind.
The Reichstag fire marked the death of
Th D
The
Death
th off
Democracy
Hitler’s Rise to Power
by Benjamin Carter Hett
William Heinemann,
280pp; £20
German democracy. Hundreds of books
have explained the descent into despotism,
so do we need to revisit this subject? The
depth of Nazi horror suggests that we do.
This ghastly tale should be retold at frequent intervals so that we do not become
complacent. Benjamin Carter Hett, an
American historian, adds: “In each era, we
see the past differently, according to how
we see ourselves.” Much of the Nazi story is
painfully familiar today.
The American jurist Oliver Wendell
Holmes Jr once remarked that a constitution must be framed with the “bad man” in
mind. The stability of a nation is measured
by its ability to survive the occasional despot, sociopath or dunce. Weimar Germany
had a carefully constructed a political
Jeffrey Meyers referred to a “high-octane
poem” by Robert Lowell.
The best of the 22 essays in this book are
personal reminiscences by famous writers
who actually know how to write. There are
distinguished contributions from Martin
Amis, Ian McEwan and Ann Thwaite, with
Amis writing about his relationship with
his stepmother, the novelist Elizabeth Jane
Howard.
Before Howard came into his life, he was
a “semiliterate truant and waster”. It took
just a year of her expert tutition to accelerate the precocious Martin from the educational doldrums (“I was averaging an O
level a year”) to an Oxford scholarship and
a deep love of literature. It’s a great story.
The highlight of the book, however, is
Andrew Motion’s beautiful and moving
account of the way his relationship with
his mother was cut short by a riding accident just as it was flowering into maturity.
“Let each child have that’s in our care/ as
much neurosis as a child can bear,” wrote
WH Auden. Most of the mothers here have
heeded that advice — there are plenty of
tortured, knotted relationships to explore.
Unfortunately, many of the contributors in
this muddled book have neither the space
nor the acumen to do them justice.
system of checks and balances, but the men
who drafted the constitution did not take
into account bad men.
Before he became chancellor in 1933,
Hitler was ridiculed as a nonentity. Friedrich Stampfer, editor-in-chief of Vorwärts
newspaper, doubted that this “roaring
gorilla” could ever govern enlightened
Germany. The people would recognise the
danger and stop him. Stampfer expressed
the reassuring, but unfounded assumption
that popular wisdom inevitably prevails.
Unfounded too is the belief that politicians
are tamed by the system — that power
makes the renegade act reasonably.
The interwar years were not Germany’s
Age of Reason. People wallowed in visceral
hatreds, prejudices and superstitions.
There was no rational reason to believe
that Jews used the blood of Christian children to make Passover matzo, but many did.
“The people are tired of reason,” one contemporary complained, “tired of thought
and reflection. They ask, ‘What has reason
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 15
1G R
First Edition
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My 50 years with the Leonardo-loonies
ALAMY
iving with Leonardo is the memoir
of an art historian who would
probably have passed his life
peaceably in a library carrel had
his area of expertise not been the
most famous and potentially lucrative
artist in the world. Now Martin Kemp
offers an account of a career at the coalface
of the Leonardo industry.
“Having been in this business for about
50 years, I have seen it all,” he says in his
introduction. “I have dealt with greater
and lesser academics, collectors and curators. I have grappled with inflated art
world egos, with devious dealers and
unctuous auctioneers. Major scholars and
authors, pseudo-historians and fantasists
have crossed my path. I have corresponded with obsessives and been verbally
beaten up in private and in public. I have
grappled with swelling legions of ‘Leonardo-loonies’. I have walked on egg shells
around vested interests in academia and
museums.”
This is the story of these characters as
much as that of Leonardo, or indeed of
Kemp. However, you learn an awful lot
about the life of the great Renaissance protagonist and even more about the depth
and range of his extraordinary work. You
meet the superlative artist and scientist,
who as well as painting the Mona Lisa and
anatomising the human body, also served
more generally, Kemp says, “as an impresario of artistic delights”.
Leonardo “could turn water into wine,
create clever rebuses in the manner of
modern emojis, play music on a kind of
violin, declaim paradoxical parables . . . and
discourse with complex erudition on why
painting was superior to every other kind
of artistic pursuit”.You learn about the
“cat’s cradle of emotional interchanges”
that inform a Leonardo composition, and
his sophisticated explorations of perspectival space.
The real thrust of the narrative, though,
is to reveal what Leonardo means to us
and why “an artist engineer from half a
millennium ago who is renowned for not
finishing anything — except the world’s
most famous painting” has awakened such
an insatiable popular appetite. So don’t shy
away, presuming this tome belongs on the
shelves of the academic. All human life
lies here.
Kemp is a natural storyteller. A chapter
on “the stolen Madonna” reads like a thriller. In the summer of 2003 Leonardo’s
Madonna of the Yarnwinder was ripped
from the walls of Drumlanrig Castle in
Dumfries and Galloway by axe-wielding
thieves who escaped in a VW Golf. The
painting was recovered in 2007 after the
men in possession of it were lured into
bringing it to a meeting with undercover
police officers. “Having blocked all
routes of escape, the police swooped in . . .”
Kemp was in the thick of the action,
testifying in court to the recovered painting’s authenticity.
He has also been closely involved with
the most important Leonardo discoveries
of the past century. One, the Salvator
Mundi, became the world’s most expensive
painting when it was sold at auction for
$450 million last November. Kemp was
invited to examine the painting and
agreed that it gave off a “vibration”. “Signs
of Leonardo’s magic asserted themselves,”
he says, such as “the soft skin over the bony
joints of the fingers of Christ’s right hand . . .
the glistening filaments of vortex hair”.
But “fusillades of non-Leonardos have
been pressed on me,” he writes, “sometimes more than one a week.” If you have
ever wondered how a work of art is
authenticated, then this is your handbook.
It lays out the intricate journey — from
science lab to TV studio, from library to
courtroom. In the lab, for example, infrared reflectography can reveal a painting’s
underdrawing. Experts are then able to
assess whether the drawings beneath the
paint are characteristic of Leonardo.
done in the last few years, what good have
insights and knowledge done us?’ ”
Hitler’s ignorance harmonised perfectly
with the wilful blindness of his followers.
He scorned experts and intellectuals.
“Like most basically ignorant people, he
had this complex about not needing to
learn anything,” the industrialist Ernst
Hanfstaengl remarked. He trusted his
experience and intuition against the facts
provided by experts. Hitler once boasted
that the only book that would matter in the
future would be his memoir.
Germans were addicted to conspiracy
theories and faux history. Their world view
rested on two myths from the Great War.
The first was that of August 1914, when
Germans were united, righteous, vigorous
and unbeatable; the second was that of
November 1918 — the “stab in the back”.
Because defeat came as a shock to most
Germans, it must have been the result of
betrayal by social democrats, communists
and Jews. The two myths were contradict-
ory, but intimately connected. August
evoked potential, November treachery.
A people who crave comfortable myths
are susceptible to lies. “Adolf Hitler lied all
the time,” writes Hett. Konrad Heiden,
who wrote the first serious biography of
Hitler in the 1930s, said that Hitler “is
seduced by himself, and whether he is
speaking the purest truth or the fattest lies,
what he says is, in that moment, so completely the expression of his being . . . that
from the lie an aura of authenticity floods”.
He preferred big lies to little ones. Big
lies, he felt, carried “a certain element of
credibility . . . because the broad masses of
a people can be more easily corrupted in
the deeper reaches of their hearts”. The
people heard what they wanted to hear,
namely that Hitler would make Germany
great again. Those who rejected his version of truth — the press, the judiciary and
the Jews — were dismissed as the real liars,
peddlers of “false news”. In post-truth Germany politics was tribal. A party existed
The artist’s works
send people into a
frenzy, says Rachel
Campbell-Johnston
Living with
Leonardo
Fifty Years of Sanity
and Insanity in the Art
World and Beyond
by Martin Kemp
Thames & Hudson,
320pp; £19.95
L
When examining the Salvator Mundi,
Kemp got his hands on a rock crystal
sphere similar to the one Christ holds in
the picture. He then placed it under lighting conditions as close as possible to those
shown in the painting to see whether the
real orb looked the same as the one in the
picture. He explains that “a sphere illuminated as in Leonardo’s painting would
have had a shiny highlight towards the
upper left. He is unlikely to have left this
out”. How’s that for attention to detail?
It is clear that you are being led by an
obsessive. In one picture he noticed that a
group of figures included the carpenter
‘Like most
ignorant
people,
Hitler had
a complex
about not
needing to
learn
anything’
key attributes The
Salvator Mundi, believed
to be by Leonardo, is the
most expensive painting
in the world
for every interest group — Catholics, Protestants, the bourgeoisie, workers, city
dwellers, country bumpkins. Rigid identity
rendered compromise impossible. Each
group had its own facts, its own vision.
AJP Taylor once argued that Hitler’s rise
was as inevitable and unsurprising as a
river flowing into the sea. Hett rejects that
notion, offering instead a perfect storm of
economic misery, government incompetence, popular prejudice, a flawed democratic structure and a febrile public mood.
This is an intelligent, well-informed explanation, but not original. Each chapter
begins with an intriguing story of individuals feeling the sharp edge of Weimar turbulence. These stories briefly reminded
me of William Sheridan Allen’s The Nazi
Seizure of Power (1965), a superb book that
focuses on how a village succumbed to
fascist fever. But there the similarity ends.
Hett’s stories promise much, but he is
much more interested in sober analysis of
high politics and the sometimes tedious
Joseph making a walking frame for a baby.
Kemp commissioned a friendly joiner to
knock up a similar model, then road-tested
it with his toddling grandson.
Quirkily vivid details pepper his
account. Bit-part players encompass anyone from orgiastic Renaissance nuns to
“Bossy Sally” from the Co-op checkout
(she crops up in one of several tales of
forgery). Kemp has a wry, laid-back
humour. He recounts the tale of appearing
on television with someone who claimed
that “Leonardo was one of a number of
individuals who had been super-charged
by invading aliens from outer space”.
Who can you trust to tell the truth?
Beneath a mask of objective analysis and
professional language, the Leonardo business is a messy one, a “turbulent tangle of
wishful thinking, vested interests, national
characteristics, prejudice and rigged arguments”. Tottering piles of hypotheses can
be constructed to prop up cherished
theories. Curators fix catalogue entries,
museum directors bend rules. In a world in
which a Leonardo “ranks at the summit of
cultural possessions”, the optimism of
owners who think their painting is a Leonardo knows no bounds. And the longer a
case rumbles on, Kemp observes, the more
likely it is to end unpleasantly.
He is refreshingly frank. Few experts
would admit so openly to feeling social
panic when invited to see a painting.
“Which to greet first — the people, or the
new picture?” he wonders when invited to
the National Gallery to meet the Salvator
Mundi. He confesses to his past mistake
when, encountering a photographic reproduction of the work, he described it as
looking “like a drug-crazed hippy”.
He takes us on a tour of the reasons why
he now thinks the painting is authentic. He
nails his colours to the mast even in the
face of an art market that is “an unregulated jungle — even more anarchic than the
transfer market for mega-expensive footballers” and a contentious mêlée of
academics for whom authentication is “a
kind of contact sport”.
This book leads you on a journey
through the life, work and legacy of one of
history’s most intriguing figures. Kemp
emerges as a guide whom you feel you can
trust — and, perhaps just as importantly,
who will prove entertaining company
when you pitch camp.
machinations of scheming Weimar politicians. I missed the ordinary people, the
banal multitude who made evil possible.
Liberal Germans were astonished at
how easily their wonderful democracy
crumbled. How, they wondered, could it
ever work if the voters were superstitious,
unreasoning, gullible and stupid? That
lament sounds familiar on both sides of the
Atlantic today. Nazism was, Hett argues, a
reaction against globalism. Refugees
supposedly stole German jobs. There was
even talk of building walls, albeit metaphoric ones. Hovering like a fog was a general disillusionment with democracy, a
desire to drain the swamp.
Hett provides a lesson about the fragility
of democracy and the danger of that complacent belief that liberal institutions will
always protect us. The Germans were
defeated by that very innocence. “We who
come later have one advantage over
them,” Hett concludes. “We have their
example before us.”
16 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
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The underwater pirates
paperbacks
IWM/GETTY IMAGES
Submarines were
feared because a few
men could wreak such
havoc, says Ben Wilson
Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie,
Bloomsbury, 264pp; £8.99
Two Muslim families living in Britain
make up the intercoiled strands of
Home Fire. The Pashas had a
jihadi-warrior father, Adil. The Lones
have assimilated to the point of
invisibility. The patriarch, Karamat
has married an Irish-American and
after a two-fisted career in business is
Britain’s home secretary. Each of the
main characters has a long section
devoted to them. They include Adil’s
daughter Isma, a brilliant sociologist,
and his son Parvaiz, who gravitates
towards the Islamic State. The plot
thickens to explosive tragedy. Home
Fire is on the long list of the Women’s
Prize for Fiction 2018. One pays it the
highest compliment one can pay fiction:
it makes you think. Uncomfortably.
John Sutherland
T
aking a walk along the Scottish
coast in the late afternoon of September 5, 1914, a few weeks after
the outbreak of the First World
War, the 20-year-old Aldous
Huxley was astounded by a huge explosion
at sea and a gigantic plume of white smoke.
He recorded that “over acres the sea was
covered with fragments — human and
otherwise”. Unbeknown to him, he had
seen the first successful destruction of a
warship in modern warfare by a submarine.
HMS Pathfinder went down so quickly that
just 12 of her 256 men survived.
The German submarine U-21 poked
above the waves to survey her work. She
would go on to sink another 40 warships
and merchantmen. Her first strike, however, changed naval warfare for ever.
Kaiser Wilhelm was ecstatic. A few
weeks later U-9 slipped out of her base on
Heligoland to hunt for British supply
vessels. Instead she encountered three
lumbering cruisers off the Dutch coast.
Thirty-one-year-old
Kapitänleutnant
Otto Weddigen made light work devouring this prey, killing 1,459 British sailors.
Three weeks later Weddigen sank HMS
Hawke in the North Sea; just seven torpedoes had dispatched four British cruisers.
“Never before,” writes Iain Ballantyne,
the author of The Deadly Trade, “had it
been possible for a commanding officer of
such comparatively junior rank to claim so
many lives in such a short space of time.”
Britain reeled with shock. Sailors in the
Royal Navy developed “periscopeitis”. The
slightest movement on the surface of the
sea was taken for a periscope; spooked
ships mistakenly bombarded whales and
porpoises. Once regarded as an invincible
fighting force, the British Grand Fleet was
hidden away from the threat.
The British at first were ill prepared for
this new warfare. A psychic was invited
into the Admiralty to dangle a threaded
needle over charts to locate German
U-boats. The Admiralty’s Board of Invention and Research proposed training
flocks of seagulls to swoop down and poo
on periscopes. Nonetheless, Britain soon
had a rival to Weddigen.
The remarkable Commander Max Horton was the first British submarine captain
to sink an enemy ship; he did so as a result
of flatulence. A constipated crew member
took so many laxatives that the boat began
to fill with noxious gases. Desperate for
fresh air, Horton surfaced and spotted a
German cruiser, which he torpedoed.
Horton inaugurated the tradition that
a British boat that has sunk an enemy
ship flies the skull and crossbones when
returning to port. Submarines no longer
sink ships, but the Jolly Roger is still flown
at the completion of an offensive mission.
Daggers on the flag indicate she has been
part of a special forces operation; missile
symbols reveal that she has fired a Tomahawk missile in anger.
Horton lived up to his piratical reputation in the Baltic, which became known to
the Germans as “Horton’s Sea”, thanks to
the terror he inspired. A price was put on
his head and a group of German sympa-
fiction
grin reaper The crew of HMS Utmost show off their Jolly Roger “success flag” in February 1942
The Deadly Trade
The Complete History
of Submarine Warfare
from Archimedes to
the Present
by Iain Ballantyne
Weidenfeld & Nicolson,
752pp; £25
Sailors in the
Royal Navy
developed
‘periscopeitis’.
Spooked ships
mistakenly
bombarded
whales
thisers in Reval (modern Tallinn in Estonia) hired a beautiful assassin to do the job.
The young woman encountered Horton at
a party and they retired to a private spot.
When the commander was distracted,
the assassin poured a phial of poison into
his drink. Just as he was about to take a sip,
however, she grabbed his sleeve to stop
him. Charmed by the dashing Horton, she
had a last-minute change of heart and
revealed the names of the conspirators.
The Russian secret police put them in
front of a firing squad. Horton would not
give up his new friend for similar treatment; instead she received a gold cigarette
case engraved with his autograph.
Submariners have always been romanticised and feared in equal measure; the
stories of the hunters and the hunted are
superbly told in this book. However, submarine aces, such as Widdigen and Horton, are rare. Of Germany’s 400 U-boat
commanders in the First World War, 22
were responsible for sinking or capturing
60 per cent of the vessels lost by the Allies
and neutral nations.
In the early stages of the war, Weddigen’s rampage seemed to vindicate the
idea that a small band of dedicated warriors in tiny vessels could render the world’s
most powerful navy obsolescent. This
dream of a secret weapon that would allow
a David to slay a maritime Goliath had
excited inventors for centuries.
Ballantyne in his consistently fascinating
study takes us back to ancient Greek combat divers who cut the anchor chains of
enemy ships. Leonardo da Vinci designed a
submersible, but then suppressed it because
he feared that it would be too dangerous for
the world. A succession of nations — the
Dutch, Americans and French — lusted
after a cheap, ingenious underwater weapon that would, at a stroke, reduce Britain’s
domineering navy to impotence.
For the Germans, U-boat commanders
and crews were valiant heroes who risked
their lives to break the tyrannical grip of
Britain on the world’s sea lanes. The use of
unrestricted submarine warfare against
merchant shipping proved counterproductive, however. In the Great War, 5,000
merchant ships were sent to the seabed; in
the Second World War, 3,500 went down
in the Atlantic alone, but at the price of
hardening attitudes towards Germany.
The faith in submarines as a gamechanging weapon has not gone away.
Today a nuclear-powered boat is more
costly and complex than the Space Shuttle.
Their role now is to lob Tomahawk missiles
at land-based targets, gather intelligence,
land special forces and provide a continuous nuclear deterrent. In any future largescale conflict they will likely be used to sever the arteries of global commerce —
underwater fibreoptic cables. “The submarine,” Ballantyne says, “for good or ill,
seems destined to play a major part in
world events, and indeed its activities could
yet decide the fate of all humanity.”
During the Cold War, Nato and Russian
daredevil submarine commanders probed
each other’s skills and technologies at
horrifyingly close quarters. That high-risk
cat-and-mouse game, which would be recognised by a Horton or a Weddigen, still
takes place. In 2015 the hunter-killer submarine HMS Talent limped into Plymouth
with a badly dented conning tower. The
navy denied that the damage had been
caused by a close encounter with a Russian
boat. Many did not believe the story.
The “deadly trade” carries on. According
to a US admiral, a “Fourth Battle of the
Atlantic” is under way. Ballantyne concludes on a sombre note. We are in danger
of forgetting that the navy only prevailed
over the German U-boats in the Second
World War after years honing antisubmarine warfare. We are investing less
and less in such techniques and hardware,
even as the threat from the silent killers of
the deep becomes ever more serious.
The Valentine House by Emma
Henderson, Sceptre, 341pp; £8.99
The Valentine House is a chalet in the
Alps where an eccentric English family
spend their summer. The patriarch, Sir
Anthony Valentine, writes sexual odes
to the mountains. Because of his roving
eye, his wife chooses only plain girls as
maids. In 1914 Mathilde becomes one of
the “uglies”, village girls who look after
the crazy “rosbifs”. Over the decades
she follows the family through its trials;
there are black sheep, illegitimate
children and a spattering of untimely
deaths. A family saga, but one written
with literary flair. Antonia Senior
nonfiction
Selfie by Will Storr, Picador,
403pp; £9.99
Will Storr places the phenomenon of
selfie-taking in the context of the
history of western individualism dating
back 2,500 years. From ancient Greece
through the Christian Middle Ages to
the self-esteem evangelists of
20th-century California who preached
the importance of “I”, he argues that the
obsession with feedback on social media
is merely the logical conclusion to the
long-term cultural fetishising of the self.
Storr says all is not lost: you can free
yourself from the demands of this
perfection-seeking era. For those of us
who know we consistently fail to meet
today’s expectations of perfection, that’s
a nice thing to hear. Carol Midgley
Fall Down 7 Times, Get up 8 by Naoki
Higashida, trans. David Mitchell and
Keiko Yoshida, Sceptre, 273pp; £8.99
Naoki Higashida is an autistic Japanese
teenager whose writing attracted the
attention of the author David Mitchell.
In his previous book, written when he
was a child, he answered questions that
baffle people about autistic behaviour.
In this book he shows himself to be far
more conflicted. He is a young man
worrying away at his autistic identity —
is he content with it or cursed by it?
Being non-verbal is “agony”. At other
points he sounds militant: “People with
autism are every bit as whole as anyone
else . . . why are these differences
negative things?” Helen Rumbelow
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 17
1G R
fiction
He shouldn’t have
left Tipperary
to avoid the boss, whose voice can sound
like “brake callipers with worn pads closing on a disc”. (Ryan likes a descriptive
flourish and most of them work rather
beautifully.)
Last is John, who seems to be making his
final confession. There’s a lot to repent for
— from his childhood allowing his youngest brother to be tormented, to his time as
a school bully, to his job as a successful,
corrupt “lobbyist” making people offers
they couldn’t refuse; he “always had a
fiendish knack for making people hate
each other”. An affair with a young waitress had ghastly consequences.
It’s hard to fully believe in John, though,
because Ryan has switched to the first person, but not turned off his poetic prose. “A
solecism in my speech would become an
erratum on some celestial scroll, I
Donal Ryan is at his best when he captures
small-town Irish life, says Siobhan Murphy
From a Low
and Quiet Sea
by Donal Ryan
Doubleday,
181pp; £12.99
F
arouk, his wife and little daughter
leave their home in Syria when
the rebels arrive and impose Sharia. The people smuggler they pay
charges so much that they’re convinced he’ll provide a reliable service.
Given that this is a story by Donal Ryan,
though, you should have guessed already
that things aren’t going to work out well.
Ryan made his name as one of the prime
purveyors of Ireland’s “recession lit”, summoning up the wrenchingly sad lives of
those who’d been mauled by the Celtic
Tiger. The Spinning Heart was an inventive
polyphonic novel giving each of its 21
chapters to a different battered, bewildered character living in Ryan’s imagined
village in Tipperary. Its prequel, The Thing
About December, relates the miserable tale
of the “gom” Johnsey Cunliffe, for whom
inheriting his parents’ land at the height
of the boom is the worst thing that could
have happened.
All We Shall Know and most of Ryan’s
short-story collection A Slanting of the Sun
are fixed in the same fictional locale (with
one short-story foray into the Syrian war).
There’s a comfort in hearing mention of
familiar characters and places, and he
draws an affectionate humour from the
freewheeling linguistic quirks of Tipperary and Limerick folk; you can picture him
taking notes in the pub.
From a Low and Quiet Sea, which starts
with Farouk’s tale, is divided between
author of doom
Donal Ryan draws on the
linguistic quirks of his
native south Ireland
When art gets crafty
The concept is high, but this story
never takes off, says Dominic Maxwell
T
he most fascinating part of Overland comes after it has ended. In
his afterword Graham Rawle
explains that his outlandish story
is true. Or, at least, is based on
something true. After the Japanese attack
on Pearl Harbor in December 1941, the US
military looked for ways to protect its
installations along the Pacific coast. And so
Colonel John F Ohmer, “a pioneer in military camouflage, deception and misdirection techniques”, was given a “limitless
budget” to make the giant Lockheed aircraft factory in Burbank, Los Angeles,
disappear into the Californian landscape.
Mixing painted canvas with 3D props,
he decorated the factory roof as something
Overland
by Graham Rawle
Chatto & Windus,
365pp; £14.99
ANTHONY POTTER COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES
woman’s touch A factory worker at Lockheed in California
that could be mistaken from the air as a
regular suburb. Hollywood set designers
got involved. It was a bizarre combination
of showbusiness, visual art and warfare.
You can see why Rawle seized on it as
the basis for a novel. And why he decided
that such a bold visual idea needed an
equally bold visual representation. Overland is printed lengthways. To read it, you
have to turn it 90 degrees. On the upper
pages we follow the divorced set designer
George Godfrey as he putters about the
mock world he has built with obsessive
attention to detail. Factory workers double
as “residents” who populate the world in
their spare time to make it look convincing
to Japanese spy planes.
On the pages below we follow at ground
level the Lockheed workers Queenie, a
pregnant would-be starlet, and her new
friend Kay, whose Japanese ancestry
means she faces being taken to one of the
new internment camps for those of
Japanese descent. If a character moves
between the worlds — climbs from factory
floor through a hatch to the roof, say —
then the narrative will suddenly jump
from one page to another. Rawle sometimes leaves pages blank, sometimes plays
games with his landscape format.
I’d love to tell you it’s worth the effort.
Rawle has a vivid visual imagination, yet
Overland ends up a laborious read. The
concept is high, but the treatment is stodgy.
The author sets up promising predicaments for his characters, yet rarely gets
them interacting with each other. It descends into a sort of solipsistic melodrama
as George loses track of reality while the
others follow separate, gloomy paths. By
the end it reads like a JG Ballard short story
that has unwisely expanded into a novel.
three seemingly unrelated men. Ryan’s
inspiration for Farouk the doctor and his
family apparently came from a real-life
refugee story. It feels like it — there’s
a rather cut-and-paste sense that this
tragedy has been pieced together without
a deeply forged sense of connection.
Lampy Shanley, the next character,
brings us back to Tipperary and feels
instantly more alive. Aged 23 and living
with his mother and grandfather (who has
“a tongue that could slice the world in
two”), he has had his heart smashed by a
girl called Chloe. Lampy trudges through a
life of disappointment, barely able to “keep
a lid on his foul temper”, stopped dead at
any moment by a whirl of memories, recollections of dreams and thoughts of suicide.
He works at the local care home, where
care is less a priority than profit, and tries
The refugee storyline
comes from real life
but has a rather cutand-paste feel to it
thought,” John announces early on, as no
one said, ever.
It’s only in the final straight that Ryan
reveals how they’re all connected. This is
quite annoying. Not least because there’s a
woman who acts as the fulcrum for this
slightly improbable coming-together, and
she gets short shrift. There’s a message
here about compassion (the notion of
being kind crops up more than once), but
in this instance Ryan has let the structuring of his story overwhelm its humanity.
Deluded thinking
A therapist’s love
affair is told with the
intensity of a thriller,
says Kate Saunders
Love After Love
by Alex Hourston
Faber, 322pp; £12.99
N
ancy Jansen believes she is in
control of her life. She is the
wife of Stefan, the mother of
three delightful children, and
she lives in a lovely middleclass house with a dog. She works as a
shrink — oh, and she’s having an
affair. But that’s all right because
she knows how to handle it without upsetting everyone.
Love After Love is written with
the grip and intensity of a thriller
and drops the reader straight
into the chaos that Nancy refuses to acknowledge. Her lover,
Adam, also a therapist and
married, is an old friend
from university who
reminds Nancy of the
Big Bad Wolf. He may
tale of folly
Alex Hourston
as well be wearing a sign. The two of them
embark on one of those overheated, airless
middle-aged passions that can’t exist
alongside the demands of real life.
Nancy does not want to break up her
family. She genuinely fails to see why
she can’t have her husband and her lover.
Yes, she felt guilty at first and her husband’s touch “felt wrong”. Stefan is a
decent man and a great father, “but he is
not Adam, at whose nearness all logic
collapses”. She got through that awkwardness, however, and has convinced herself
that her affair has been a force for good in
her family life.
To the reader, Nancy’s self-justifications
begin to look a touch hysterical. Her
children and her problematical brother,
David, are slipping out of her control, and
her rampant affair is affecting her relationships with her clients. It is only a
matter of time before it all collapses and
the shrink is dramatically un-shrunk.
Love After Love is beautifully
written and quietly devastating in
its exposure of middle-aged
folly, to which even therapists
are not immune.
Nancy is a physician
who cannot heal herself,
and her interpretation
of her behaviour is
comically self-deluding. Not much happens, but that is only
in the visible world; the
action is going on
inside the narrator’s
head as she gallops
towards the inevitable collision
with reality.
18 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
historical fiction
MUSEO NACIONAL DEL PRADO; GETTY IMAGES
A woman
judged by
higher powers
From terror in Fascist The Madonna of
the Mountains
Italy to a Viking
by Elise
Book
murder mystery,
Valmorbida
of
the
Antonia Senior picks Faber,
384pp; £14.99 month
the best reads
I
t is 1923. Mussolini has been in power for
a year and Italy is still recovering from
the First World War and the devastation of the 1918 Spanish flu outbreak.
But normal life carries on and in a small
village in the mountains Maria Vittoria
dreams of finding a husband. The Madonna of the Mountains is Maria’s life story. An
unremarkable Italian girl, she believes in
God, marriage and obedience to her future
husband. When she is married off to
Achille, the couple move to a small town in
the mosquito-plagued plains near Venice
to run a shop and start a family. Children
follow, and the family are modestly successful. Achille hits her, but as Maria knows,
that is what men do. She can’t complain; he
is not a drunkard and he works hard.
They live an ordinary life — however,
fascism tramples on ordinary lives. Achille
is imprisoned and Maria is forced into a
relationship with a local Blackshirt thug,
which leaves her shamed and confused.
She is watched and judged by an unforgiving icon, the Madonna of the Mountains.
Elise Valmorbida’s writing brings Maria
vividly to life and she is excellent on checkpoints and informers, beatings and hunger
— the small terrors of living in Mussolini’s
Italy. “Maria feels fear all the time, like a
stone hidden in her belly, or a shadow
that won’t leave her body no matter how
hard she tries to leap away from it.” It is a
bewitching, but entirely unsentimental
portrait of one woman’s attempt to keep
her family safe in turbulent times.
Andrew Taylor returns with the keenly
awaited sequel to his bestseller, The Ashes
of London. In The Fire Court, James Marwood is now a young man on the rise — he
has a good income, a house and two servants. However, his father is causing
trouble; he is an unrepentant puritan, out
of step with the new, rakish Restoration
era, and his wits are straying. Older Marwood claims to have stumbled across the
body of a murdered woman, but is then
killed in an accident. Was he deluded or a
witness to murder? Marwood looks for
help from Cat Lovett, the fierce, displaced
girl he helped in The Ashes of London.
They come to believe that dark deeds
being committed are connected to the Fire
Court, the judicial body set up by Charles
II to deal with legal disputes arising from
the Great Fire of London in 1666. Marwood and Lovett’s search for a killer in the
sooty streets of 1660s London is an atmospheric pleasure, full of twists and memorable characters.
Painter to the King is a portrait of the
Spanish painter Diego Velázquez. It begins
with his arrival in 1622 at the court of Philip
The Fire Court
by Andrew Taylor
HarperCollins,
448pp; £14.99
Painter to the
King
by Amy Sackville
Granta, 319pp; £14.99
Kin
by Snorri Kristjansson
Jo Fletcher, 312pp; £18.99
The Hunger
by Alma Katsu
Bantam, 400pp; £14.99
The search
for a killer
in the sooty
streets
of 1660s
London is an
atmospheric
pleasure
unsentimental portraits Las Meninas (1656) by Diego Velázquez and, below, a Madonna statue in the mountains of Italy
IV of Spain. The king is a sad, lonely figure
who increasingly values his friendship with
the painter. Amy Sackville’s description of
Velázquez at work feels like an authentic
glimpse into the painter’s methods. We
watch the king pace the artist’s studio and,
through the years, become ever more
ground down by the burden of rule. The
novel is told as a series of set-piece scenes,
in wordy, breathless prose that is superb
when it works, but laborious when it fails.
Sackville occasionally breaks into the
account of Velázquez’s life with her own tale
of searching for the painter’s story.
Two sub-genres collide in Snorri Kristjansson’s Kin — Viking saga and Nordic
noir. It is 970 and Helga Finnsdottir is
living in a remote valley. She adores her
adopted mother, Hildigunnur, who rules
the homestead with wit and steel. There
is a gathering planned of Hildigunnur’s
children: three violent brothers and
their clever sister, along with their wives
and husbands. The siblings arrive amid
rumours that there is treasure hidden in
the valley, the spoils of their father’s Viking
days. This is a family riven with feuds and
enmities and Kristjansson, an Icelander
who lives in Edinburgh, builds the tension
with skill. When a brother is murdered,
the bloodletting comes almost as a relief.
Helga is determined to find out who in the
family is the killer before her mother loses
any more children.
Kin is well paced and skilfully plotted,
with a strong sense of everyday life at the
time. One drawback — all the characters,
except for Helga, are unlikeable and
violent. I suspect this will not be the last
Viking noir novel we see.
The Hunger is based on the true story of
the Donner Party. A group of pioneer families, who were heading west to California
with their wagons, became trapped in the
mountains of the Sierra Nevada in the
winter of 1846-47. Starving and desperate,
they descended into barbarism and cannibalism. In Alma Katsu’s version we follow
a few characters as their trek turns horrifying. Charles Stanton is a single man with a
secret in his past driving him to go west. He
is tall and strong and attracts attention
from some of the women in the party,
including Tamsen, the beautiful wife of
George Donner, the leader of the wagon
train. The spirited Tamsen, trapped in a
loveless marriage, is travelling in a “great,
customised prairie schooner”.
Meanwhile, Mary Graves, a girl from a
large family, helps to shepherd her siblings
across the great expanse of country. At a
crossroads, Donner makes a fateful decision to follow a shorter, but untested route
through the mountains. The wagon train
becomes bogged down and the weather
turns. Children begin to disappear and
the pioneers realise that there are supernatural forces ranged against them.
This piece of history is well known in
America, which is perhaps why Katsu put
a supernatural spin on the events. This is a
shame, because the story she writes of
human failings and despair is so powerful
and so well written that the fantastical
elements seem unnecessary. Her account
of the pioneers’ dawning realisation that
pressing on, staying still and turning back
all mean death is hauntingly good.
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 19
1G R
bestsellers
audiobook
of the
week
The
Mermaid and Mrs
read
Hancock by Imogen
Hermes Gowar, read
by Juliet Stevenson,
Random House Audio,
17hr 18min, audible.co.uk
£23.99
The central characters of
The Mermaid and Mrs
Hancock are Angelica,
an effervescent and
gutsy courtesan, and her
unlikely suitor Jonah
Hancock, a meaty-faced
merchant. He acquires
the corpse of a “mermaid”
and becomes obsessed
with discovering a living
one so he can win the
hand of Angelica. It is set
in 1780s London — and
Imogen Hermes Gowar
writes with confident brio
on historical territory
mapped with much more
restraint by Georgette
Heyer and with more
lascivious intent by John
Cleland in Fanny Hill.
The life and people of
Georgian London are
described in colourful
detail (Gowar’s writing
began with short stories
built around artefacts
in the museums in
which she worked). Most
vilified is the Abbess, an
upmarket brothel-keeper;
Gowar uses the varied
fortunes of the girls in
her “nunnery” to show
her wickedness. Listening
to the inimitable Juliet
Stevenson morphing
from ladylike narrator
into raucous bawd,
aristocratic rake and
swearing seafarer will
keep you amused.
Christina Hardyment
Paperback Fiction
Hardback Fiction
Paperback Nonfiction
Hardback Nonfiction
1 (1)
1 (4) Still Me Jojo Moyes
Michael Joseph £20
1 (1)
1 (1)
2 (1) The Woman in the Window
AJ Finn HarperCollins £12.99
2 (5) Why We Sleep: The New Science
of Sleep and Dreams
Matthew Walker Penguin £9.99
2
Good Night Stories For Rebel
(new) Girls 2 Elena Favilli & Francesca
Cavallo Timbuktu £25
3 (6) Why I’m No Longer Talking to
White People About Race
Reni Eddo-Lodge
Bloomsbury £8.99
3 (7) Lose Weight for Good
Tom Kerridge Absolute £22
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely
Fine Gail Honeyman
Harper £8.99
2 (4) The Venetian Game
Philip Gwynne Jones
Constable £8.99
3 (3) Conversations with Friends
Sally Rooney Faber £8.99
4 (2) Insidious Intent
Val McDermid Sphere £7.99
3 (3) The Tattooist of Auschwitz
Heather Morris Zaffre £12.99
4
Let Me Lie
(new) Clare Mackintosh
Sphere £12.99
5
Norse Mythology Neil Gaiman
(new) Bloomsbury £8.99
5
The Smiling Man
(new) Joseph Knox
Doubleday £12.99
6 (6) Call Me By Your Name
André Aciman
Atlantic £8.99
6 (6) The Mermaid and Mrs Hancock
Imogen Hermes Gowar
Harvill Secker £12.99
7 (5) Reservoir 13
Jon McGregor
4th Estate £8.99
7 (5) Force of Nature
Jane Harper
Little, Brown £12.99
8
The Last Tudor
(new) Philippa Gregory
Simon & Schuster £8.99
8 (7) The Seven Deaths of Evelyn
Hardcastle Stuart Turton
Raven £14.99
9
Anything Is Possible
(new) Elizabeth Strout
Penguin £8.99
9 (2) The Only Story
Julian Barnes
Jonathan Cape £16.99
10 (—) Camino Island
John Grisham Hodder £7.99
10 (9) Sail Away Celia Imrie
Bloomsbury £12.99
Other Minds Peter Godfrey-Smith
William Collins £9.99
4 (3) Sapiens: A Brief History of
Humankind Yuval Noah Harari
Vintage £9.99
5 (2) M: Maxwell Knight
Henry Hemming Arrow £9.99
6 (10) A History of Britain in 21 Women
Jenni Murray Oneworld £9.99
7 (8) The Things You Can See Only
When You Slow Down Haemin
Sunim Penguin £8.99
8 (7) Homo Deus: A Brief History of
Tomorrow Yuval Noah Harari
Vintage £9.99
9 (9) Milk and Honey Rupi Kaur
Andrews McMeel £9.99
10
Notes on Nationalism
(new) George Orwell Penguin
Classic Mary Berry
BBC Books £26
4 (3) Good Night Stories for Rebel
Girls Elena Favilli & Francesca
Cavallo Particular £20
5 (2) 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to
Chaos Jordan B Peterson
Allen Lane £20
6 (8) Women & Power
Mary Beard Profile £7.99
7 (4) Fire and Fury Michael Wolff
Little, Brown £20
8 (5) Coal Black Mornings
Brett Anderson
Little, Brown £16.99
9
Civilisations: How Do We Look/
(new) The Eye of Faith
Mary Beard Profile £15
10 (9) Everything I Know About Love
Dolly Alderton
Fig Tree £12.99
THE NUMBER IN PARENTHESES REPRESENTS CHART POSITIONS LAST WEEK. DATA SUPPLIED BY WATERSTONES FOR THE WEEK ENDING MARCH 10
children’s book
of the week
A Scottish sea trip
proves smooth sailing
for Alex O’Connell
To the Edge of the
World (9+) by Julia
Green, OUP, 217pp;
£6.99
This is a simple tale of
a city boy who moves
to a remote Scottish
island, makes a friend
and overcomes his fear
of the sea. Yet it’s told with such purpose,
confidence and love by Julia Green
(whose previous books include The
Wilderness War) that it feels fresh and
true and you can’t help bobbing along
merrily in its current.
Jamie is thriving. He has come to the
Outer Hebrides from Glasgow with his
mother and teenage sister, Fee (who is
not thriving: she’s bored, isolated and
can’t eat a meal without looking at her
phone).
Jamie’s mother was born there, loves
it and secured a job at the fish factory
— her ticket back home. His father has
remained in Glasgow for work during
the week, leaving Jamie to roam the
beaches and help his grandad, a boat
builder, in his shed. Bliss for a boy such
as him.
Enter Mara, who continues admirably
the tradition of “wild girls” in children’s
literature. She lives in a hut, doesn’t go
to school, ties her hair back with flotsam
Mara continues the
admirable tradition
of ‘wild girls’ in
children’s literature
string, has a terrier called Django and
can sail a boat like an experienced adult.
Her hands-off mother, who finds social
interaction a challenge, paints puffins
on pebbles for the tourist trade.
Jamie, to the amusement of his friends
at school, becomes drawn to the girl.
She becomes his grandad’s latest
apprentice and — before he knows it —
Jamie is a passenger in her adventure;
without telling anyone, they take her
boat Stardust and Django across choppy
waters to the island of St Kilda.
Out at sea, lessons are learnt and
the children grow up and grow together.
Jamie discovers how Mara arrived in
the Hebrides, aged seven; why her
mother may not be nurturing the girl.
He realises he is missing his father
terribly and confronts his own
weaknesses.
The trip is cut short by a rescue
mission (grandpa, of course) and results
in a hospital stay for Mara. There are
no great twists, but by the last chapter
I was so invested in this duo that I cared
not a bit, just delighted to have been
invited along for the ride.
Private view at the
Royal Academy of Arts
EXC LU S IVE
R E WAR D S FO R
SUBSCRIBERS
Join us on April 3 for a private view of Charles I: King and Collector.
Enjoy a drink on arrival before exploring the extraordinary collection
amassed by King Charles I.
Book tickets today at mytimesplus.co.uk
Image: Anthony van Dyck (1599–1641), (detail) Charles I in Three Positions, 1635–36 Oil on canvas, 84.4 x 99.4 cm RCIN 404420 Royal Collection Trust / © Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II 2018, www.royalcollection.org.uk. Sponsored by BNY Mellon, Anniversary Partner of the Royal Academy of Arts. Exhibition organised in partnership with
Royal Collection Trust. This Times+ event is open to UK subscribers only. For full terms and conditions, visit mytimesplus.co.uk
20 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
the critics’ choice
Films Kevin Maher
Top pick
The Square
Ruben Ostlund, 15
(151min)
{{{{{
Ridiculously compelling
character portrait from
the director of Force
Majeure, set in the
Swedish art world. Tons of
satire; buckets of laughs.
Kevin Maher
My Generation
David Batty, 12A (84min)
{{{((
Guilty-pleasure
documentary in which
Michael Caine goes on a
clip-filled trawl through
Swinging London.
Features the voices of
McCartney, Faithfull and
Twiggy. KM
Gook
Justin Chon, 15 (94min)
{{{{(
Witty, stylish, devastating
study of tension between
blacks and Koreans during
the 1992 Los Angeles riots.
Ed Potton
Peter Rabbit
Will Gluck, PG (95min)
{{{((
Amicable, if CGI-heavy
adaptation, with James
Corden and Margot
Robbie among the voices
and Domhnall Gleeson as
the human antagonist. EP
You Were Never
Really Here
Lynne Ramsey, 15
(90min)
{{{{{
A dark, disturbing and
often abstract crime
Terry Notary as the
ape-like performance
artist in The Square
movie that features
Joaquin Phoenix on
career-high form. KM
Wonder Wheel
Woody Allen, 12A
(101min)
{{{{(
Kate Winslet is incendiary
as a frustrated actress,
married to a slob (Jim
Belushi) in Allen’s tricksy
period yarn, set in 1950s
Coney Island, co-starring
Justin Timberlake. KM
Sweet Country
Warwick Thornton, 15
(113min)
{{{{(
Grim but beautful outback
counterpart to the recent
Hostiles — white farmers
abuse Aboriginals in 1920s
Australia. EP
Gringo
Nash Edgerton, 15
(110min)
{{{((
A winning turn from
David Oyelowo as a
businessman trapped in
Mexico lifts this above
sub-Tarantino tosh. KM
Game Night
John Francis Daley,
Jonathan Goldstein, 15
(100min)
{{{{(
Jason Bateman stars in a
fun comedy-thriller in
which a murder-mystery
evening is hijacked by real
criminals. EP
A Fantastic Woman
Sebastián Lelio, 15
(104min)
{{{{(
An exquisite Chilean
Oscar-winner about love,
grief and familial conflict
that also packs a political
wallop. KM
Dark River
Clio Barnard, 15 (89min)
{{{{(
A saturnine Yorkshire
drama, with Ruth Wilson
as a woman returning
to the family farm and
painful memories. EP
I, Tonya
Craig Gillespie, 15
(120min)
{{{{(
Margot Robbie plays the
Pop Will Hodgkinson
Top pick
The Magic Gang
Excellent guitar four-piece with shades of
the Smiths and the Beach Boys, whose
cheery melodies cover gloomy lyrics
about splitting with girls and feeling
miserable. Rough Trade East,
London E1 (020 7792 3490),
Mon; O2 Institute
Birmingham, Thur;
Manchester Academy, Fri
Anne-Marie
Not only is this Essex
girl, right, one of the
biggest British pop stars
of recent times, she is also
a black belt in karate. O2
Institute Birmingham (0121
437 4150), Mon; O2 Ritz
Manchester, Tues; Roundhouse, London
NW1, Thur
Thirty Seconds to Mars
Is there no end to the things Jared Leto
thinks he can do? Taking a break from
being a Hollywood superstar, Leto puts
disgraced ice skater Tonya
Harding in a thriller-cumpostmodern comedy. KM
Finding Your Feet
Richard Loncraine, 12A
(111min)
{{{((
Improbable grey-pound
comedy — Calendar Girls
meets Strictly Ballroom,
but with steel. KM
Loveless
Andrey Zvyagintsev, 15
(127min)
{{{{(
Gripping tale of a Russian
marital meltdown,
Lady Bird
Greta Gerwig, 15 (94min)
{{{{(
Saoirse Ronan plays a
schoolgirl dreaming of
New York in this sweet but
substantial comedy. EP
Black Panther
Ryan Coogler, 12A
(134min)
{{{{(
A black superhero movie
that springs vividly to life,
with a charismatic cast —
especially Michael B
Jordan — and loving faith
to the Marvel brand. KM
Three Billboards Outside
Ebbing, Missouri
Martin McDonagh, 15
(115min)
{{{{{
Frances McDormand won
the best actress Oscar as
an avenging mum in a
film full of melancholy,
violence — and gags. KM
Phantom Thread
Paul Thomas Anderson,
15 (130min)
{{{{(
Daniel Day-Lewis plays a
couturier in 1950s London
in a film that entrances
and infuriates. KM
Coco
Lee Unkrich, Adrian
Molina, PG (104min)
{{{{(
Pixar’s rousing tear-jerker
about family and fame, set
during Mexico’s Day of
the Dead. KM
Darkest Hour
Joe Wright, PG (125min)
{{{{(
The Oscar-winning,
latex-lathered Gary
Oldman as Winston
Churchill on the eve of
Dunkirk. KM
with runaway child and
manhunt. KM
Classical & opera Richard Morrison
his frontman hat on for some 1980stinged arena-rock action. Motorpoint
Arena, Cardiff (029 2022 4488), Fri
Sigrid
The Nordic pop star whose Don’t Kill
My Vibe was the hit of summer 2017
continues to find the space
between cool indie and pure
pop. Motion, Bristol (0117
972 3111), today; O2
Institute Birmingham,
Sun; Leeds University
Stylus, Tues; Saint Luke’s,
Glasgow, Wed
Book now
Taylor Swift
Camila Cabello joins pop’s
favourite control freak for a series
of massive stadium shows with all the
hits: Shake It Off, Look What You Made
Me Do and more. Singleton Park,
Swansea (01792 636000), May 27; Etihad
Stadium, Manchester (0161 444 1894),
June 8-9; Wembley Stadium (0844
9808001), June 22-23
Top pick
Wake
Graham Vick directs his
Birmingham Opera
Company in an epic
promenade production,
the world premiere of
Giorgio Battistelli’s Wake,
retelling the biblical story
of Lazarus. B12
Warehouse, Birmingham
(0121 246 6632), todayTues
Matthew Passion
Bach’s sacred masterpiece
performed by the Dunedin
Consort, with Nicholas
Mulroy as Evangelist. The
Queen’s Hall, Edinburgh
(0131 668 2019), Fri
London Philharmonic
The excellent Stravinsky
series continues with The
Fairy’s Kiss, plus excerpts
from Tchaikovsky’s
Sleeping Beauty and
Piano Concerto No 1
(with Daniil Trifonov).
Vladimir Jurowski
conducts. Royal Festival
Hall, London SE1 (020
3879 9555), today
Flight
Jonathan Dove’s
bittersweet opera about
people trapped in an
airport, below, performed
in the RAM’s new theatre.
Royal Academy of Music,
London NW1 (020 7873
7300), today (2pm)
From the House of
the Dead
Krzysztof Warlikowski
updates Janácek’s last
opera to a modern
American prison, not
always convincingly,
but the magnificent music
is superbly sung. Royal
Opera House, London
WC2 (020 7304 4000),
Mon, Thur
Debussy
The great French
composer’s centenary is
celebrated by Mirga
Grazinyte-Tyla and the
City of Birmingham
Symphony Orchestra with
a programme that also
includes Stravinsky and
Takemitsu. Symphony
Hall, Birmingham (0121
780 3333), Sun
La Forza del Destino
Punchy David Pountney
production of Verdi’s
epic opera. Mayflower
Theatre, Southampton
(02380 711811), Wed
Acis and Galatea
Delightful early Handel
pastoral staged as part of
the London Handel
Festival. St John’s Smith
Square, London SW1 (020
7222 1061), Mon, Wed
Book now
Polyeucte
Marking Gounod’s
bicentenary, University
College Opera gives
the British premiere of
his opera, written in
London in 1870.
Theatre Royal Stratford
East, London E15
(020 8534 0310), MonMarch 24
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 21
1G R
Curtain Call
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Theatre Ann Treneman
Exhibitions Rachel Campbell-Johnston
2017 THE ESTATE OF EDWARD STEICHEN/ARTISTS RIGHTS SOCIETY, NEW YORK
Also showing
Top pick
Top pick
Tomb Raider (12A)
{{(((
Flaccid reboot starring
Alicia Vikander
America’s Cool
Modernism
Significant loans bring
works from the roaring
Twenties and the
Depression-era Thirties
together to look at the rise
of the concept of “cool”.
Ashmolean Museum,
Oxford (01865 278000),
Fri-July 22
The Cherry Orchard
The Russian-speaking
playwright Rory Mullarkey
provides a new translation
for Chekhov’s adored last
play and it’s a winner:
sharp, funny, bittersweet.
Michael Boyd directs a
fluid, evocative staging.
Bristol Old Vic (0117 987
7877), to April 7; Royal
Exchange, Manchester,
April 19-May 19
Mary Magdalene (12A)
{{(((
Overly tasteful biblical
drama, with Rooney Mara
My Golden Days (15)
{{(((
Tired French melodrama
Mute (15)
{((((
Netflix sci-fi dud
Mom & Dad (15)
{{(((
Tedious schlock
Walk Like a Panther (12A)
{((((
Woeful wrestling comedy
Bombshell: The Hedy
Lamarr Story (12A)
{{(((
Formulaic film-star doc
Red Sparrow (15)
{((((
Queasy Russian spy flick
The Shape of Water (15)
{{(((
Drippy Oscar-winner
Monster Family (PG)
{((((
Charmless kids’ animation
Den of Thieves (15)
{{(((
Heat-lite cop caper
The Post (12A)
{{{{(
Spielberg, Hanks, Streep
Sonia Boyce
The first retrospective of
a colourful artist who,
working in all media, looks
at what it means to be a
black British woman.
Manchester Art Gallery
(0161 235 8888),
Fri-July 22
Picasso 1932:
Love, Fame, Tragedy
Focusing on a single crux
year in the life of the great
modern master, this show
is impregnated with an
atmosphere of eroticism.
Tate Modern, London SE1
(020 7887 8888), to
Sept 9
Tacita Dean:
Still Life and Portrait
Taking over two
neighbouring galleries,
the artist looks at the
legacy of the still life and
focuses on portraiture
that takes film as its
medium. National Gallery,
London WC2 (020 7747
2885) and National
Portrait Gallery, London
WC2 (020 7306 0055),
to May 28
Joan Jonas
Landmark installations by
Le Tournesol by Edward Steichen, at the Ashmolean
the pioneering
performance artist take
over the galleries, cinema
and “tanks” spaces of Tate
Modern. Tate Modern,
London SE1 (020 7887
8888), to Aug 5
Known Unknowns
Those in the know
respect them. Now their
works are given the
proper public prominence.
Saatchi Gallery, London
SW3 (020 7811 3070),
Wed-June 24
Tate Britain
Commission
Anthea Hamilton has
been chosen to create a
site-specific work for
Tate Britain’s grand
entrance gallery. Tate
Britain, London SW1 (020
7887 8888), Thur-Oct 7
Sean Scully
A retrospective takes over
the Hatton Gallery and the
Laing Art Gallery to look
at an artist fascinated by
stripes and the spaces
between them. Hatton
Gallery, Newcastle upon
Tyne (0191 277 8877), to
May 28
Book now
Damien Hirst at
Houghton Hall
New paintings by Hirst
take up residence in the
state rooms of this
Palladian mansion, while
other pieces, including a
handful of his sculptures,
are scattered around the
house and grounds.
Houghton Hall, King’s
Lynn, Norfolk (01485
528569), March 25-July 15
Summer and Smoke
Rebecca Frecknall directs
Tennessee Williams’s play
about love and lust with
astonishing confidence.
Patsy Ferran is simply
sensational as Miss Alma,
the uptight minister’s
daughter torn apart by
her attraction to the sexy
unruly boy next door.
Almeida, London N1 (020
7359 4404), to April 7
Frankenstein
The Creature, terrifying
and vulnerable as played
by Harry Attwell, is the
absolute star of this
faithful new adaptation by
April de Angelis of Mary
Shelley’s 200-year-old
gothic novel. Horrible,
but in a good way. Royal
Exchange, Manchester
(0161 833 9833), to
April 14
The Duchess of Malfi
Maria Aberg’s inventively
brutal revival of John
Webster’s 1614 tragedy
fills the stage with a pool
of blood in its second
half, yet somehow
manages to be powerful
Dance Debra Craine
Requiem Pour L
The UK premiere of a new project by
Alain Platel and Fabrizio Cassol, conjuring
a world of death and ritual inspired by
Mozart’s unfinished requiem. Sadler’s
Wells, London EC1 (020 7863 8000),
Tues & Wed
Richard Alston Dance Company
Alston celebrates the 50th anniversary of
his first choreographed work with Mid
Century Modern, a programme that
draws on the five-decade span of his
work. He’s also creating a new solo for
the BBC Young Dancer finalist Vidya
Patel. Sadler’s Wells, London EC1 (020
7863 8000), Fri & March 24
Ballet British Columbia
The Canadian troupe showcases a trio of
female choreographers, including the
amazing Crystal Pite, although it’s a dark
and downbeat evening of contemporary
Brief Encounter
Emma Rice brings back
her biggest hit and it still
sings: an always inventive
retelling of the film, for
which a gifted ensemble
use music, comedy, dance,
film, puppetry and
tragedy to bring to life this
unconsummated affair.
Empire Cinema
Haymarket, London SW1
(0844 8717628), to Sept 2
Girl from the North
Country
It’s the final week for
this exquisite new “play
with songs”. Conor
McPherson’s haunting tale
of Depression-era life in
America is punctuated
with some of Bob Dylan’s
best songs, Noël Coward
Theatre, London WC2
(0844 4825140), to
March 24
Our Country’s Good
Fiona Buffini directs a
fresh and elegant revival
of Timberlake
Wertenbaker’s modern
classic, about a group of
Georgian soldiers and
convicts staging a
Restoration comedy in
Australia. It’s presented
by the deaf and disabled
theatre consortium
Ramps on the Moon.
Nottingham Playhouse
(0115 941 9419), to March
24, then touring
Book now
Consent
This slick metrosexual
legal drama by Nina Raine,
in which two couples (and
a baby, as in a real one)
square off over the rights
and wrongs of a rape
case, was a hit at the
Dorfman a year ago and
has got its deserved West
End transfer. Harold
Pinter Theatre, London
WC2 (0844 8717622),
May 18-Aug 25
Jude Owusu and Kirsty Bushell in The Cherry Orchard
Comedy Dominic Maxwell
Top pick
Royal Ballet
The three house choreographers mark
the centenary of Leonard Bernstein’s
birth with a triple bill of works set to his
music. It includes premieres from Wayne
McGregor and Christopher Wheeldon
and the revival of Liam Scarlett’s The Age
of Anxiety, inspired by Auden’s epic
poem. Royal Opera House, London WC2
(020 7304 4000), today and Fri
rather than preposterous.
Bloody good, as they say.
Swan Theatre, Stratfordupon-Avon (01789
403493), to Aug 3
dance. Birmingham Hippodrome (0844
3385000), today; Lowry, Salford (0843
2086000), Tues & Wed; Alhambra,
Bradford (01274 432000), Fri & March 24
The Sleeping Beauty
Birmingham Royal Ballet’s spectacular
fairytale production pays tribute to the
ballet’s 19th-century Russian roots. Wales
Millennium Centre, Cardiff (029 2063
6464), today; Theatre Royal, Plymouth
(01752 267222), Wed-March 24
Richard
Alston
Dance
Company
at Sadler’s
Wells
Cinderella
Matthew Bourne’s production of
Prokofiev’s masterpiece gives it a
wartime twist, with poor Cinders falling
in love with a wounded RAF pilot
during the horror of the Blitz. Beware
the falling bombs! Lowry, Salford
(0843 2086000), today; Bristol
Hippodrome (0844 8713012),
Tues-March 24
Book now
The Sleeping Beauty
English National Ballet revives Kenneth
MacMillan’s spectacular staging, with
opulent costumes by Nicholas Georgiadis
and fairytale sets by Peter Farmer.
Coliseum, London WC2 (020 7845
9300), June 6-16
Top pick
Teenage Cancer Trust
Russell Howard hosts this
year’s comedy night,
joined by Greg Davies,
Sara Pascoe, Paul
Chowdhry, Mo Gilligan
and Desiree Burch. Royal
Albert Hall, London SW7
(020 7589 8212), Tues
Flight of the Conchords
Bret McKenzie and
Jemaine Clement return
for their first British tour in
eight years. Eventim
Apollo, London W6 (0844
2494300), Sun to Tues;
Genting Arena,
Birmingham, Thur;
Manchester Arena, Fri
Maria Bamford
The acclaimed American
comic makes her London
debut. Returns only.
Leicester Square Theatre,
London WC2 (020 7734
2222), Wed-Fri
Glasgow Comedy Festival
Acts include Bridget
Christie, Rob Delaney,
Richard Gadd (all today),
Kieran Hodgson (Sun),
Alexei Sayle (Mon), Miles
Jupp (Tues), Mark Thomas
(Wed-March 24), Hardeep
Singh Kohli, Mark Steel
(Thur), and Ed Byrne (Fri).
Various venues, Glasgow
(0844 8737353), to Mar 25
Book now
Stewart Lee: Content
Provider
These London dates will
be the last chances to see
Lee’s most entertaining
show yet before his
sabbatical from stand-up.
Royal Festival Hall,
London SE1 (020 3879
9555), April 19, 20, 23
Entertainments
Theatres
HER MAJESTY'S 020 7087 7762
THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
THE PHANTOM OF
THE OPERA
Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30
www.ThePhantonOfTheOpera.com
QUEEN'S
0844 482 5160
The Musical Phenomenon
LES MISÉRABLES
Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30
www.LesMis.com
Theatres
St Martin's
020 7836 1443
66th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
Mon-Sat 7.30, Tues & Thu 3, Sat 4
www.the-mousetrap.co.uk
Vaudeville Theatre 0330 333 4814
Oscar Wilde's LADY
WINDERMERE'S
FAN
%
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Thu & Sat 2.30
Classicspring.co.uk
Please be advised that calls
to 084 numbers can cost up
to 7p per minute plus your
network provider’s costs.
Where next?
Discover Britain’s best places to live
in our exclusive 48-page magazine.
Out tomorrow.
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 23
1G R
tv & radio Full seven-day listings & previews
Critic’s choice
The Durrells
Radio choice
Based on a
True Story
Sun, ITV, 8pm
Giddy on sun-drenched Corfu
charm, the Durrells return
to light up Sunday evenings
with their gently eccentric
brand of comedy. What
continues to make it work —
aside from the Ionian setting —
is Keeley Hawes’s frazzled
perturbability as the matriarch
Louisa. She has now decided
to give up searching for love,
which means a break from
the gags about her halting
sex life, but her work is cut
out with various parental
quandaries, not least those
provided by her middle son,
Leslie, who somehow has
three girlfriends on the go.
Meanwhile, young Gerry (Milo
Parker) has his growing
menagerie, Lawrence (rising
star Josh O’Connor) is
struggling to write his third
novel and Margo (Daisy
Waterhouse) has a new hobby
making sculptures out of soap
(“Well, it seems stupid, but so
do a lot of things, like hockey
and feet and testicles”). Hats
off to writer Simon Nye and
all those who make this show
such a pleasant hour, with
special mention to the chorus
of ever-buzzing cicadas. Who
could fail to love this?
James Jackson
Mon-Fri, Radio 4, 10.45am
Keeley Hawes as
Louisa Durrell and
Alexis Georgoulis as
Spiros Halikiopoulos
Best of the rest
Sport Relief 2018
Fri, BBC One, 7pm
A week of celebrity get-fit
endeavour for charity includes
Famously Unfit for Sports
Relief (Sun, BBC Two, 9pm)
and Zoë Ball’s Hardest Road
Home (Wed, BBC One, 9pm)
before the usual telethon
hilarities on Friday.
The Good Karma Hospital
Sun, ITV, 9pm
More exotic vibes come from
Kerala with the returning
series of light tropical hospital
drama, where a blistering
heatwave is testing the
splendidly named Lydia
Fonseca (Amanda Redman,
formidable) and her staff.
On demand
The Funeral Murders
Mon, BBC Two, 9pm
Documentary of the week is
Vanessa Engle’s balanced look
back at two Belfast funerals 30
years ago this month that left
five people dead. As appalling
a story as you’d care to watch,
it nonethless exerts a grim,
gripping fascination.
Great Indian Railway Journeys
Tues, BBC Two, 8pm
Michael Portillo stops off for
chapatis, bhangra dancing and
tastes of the Raj in Shimla on
his progress across India.
Guided by Bradshaw’s 1913
Handbook of Indian, Foreign
and Colonial Travel, he is, as
ever, a well-cultured guide.
Martin Luther King by
Trevor McDonald
Thur, ITV, 9pm
Fifty years on from King’s
death, Sir Trev talks to his key
allies — including the man who
typed up the address that
became “I have a dream” — as
part of an exaltation of an icon.
Contagion! The BBC Four
Pandemic
Thur, BBC Four, 9pm
The BBC simulates the
outbreak of a fatal contagion
across the UK, which involves
app technology tracking
“infected” individuals rather
than thousands of melting
sufferers storming our A&E
departments. JJ
The best of Netflix, Amazon, iPlayer and beyond
Jessica Jones
Netflix
Recently back on Netflix is
series two of the drama
touted as the superhero
show for those who
don’t like superhero
shows. As the glum
private eye, Krysten
Ritter’s Jones, right, is
still drinking, drawling
and dishing out sour
appraisals (Rival PI: “I never
take no for an answer.” Jones:
“How very rapey of you”),
while a new villain (Janet
McTeer) waits in the wings to
arrive in episode three. It’s
slow with a downbeat-jazz feel
— a kind of millennial noir, and
the antithesis of generic
wham-bang fare.
Secret State
All4
It’s odd hearing
Gabriel Byrne with an
English accent, but
otherwise the 2012
conspiracy thriller —
in which Byrne’s deputy
PM steps up when the boss’s
plane crashes — has all the
elements you’d expect: spooks,
a shady petrochemical giant,
an intrepid journo. The acting
(also from Charles Dance)
keeps you watching. JJ
The “true” in the title of this
drama taunts the listener — as
it is meant to. Based on a True
Story is an adaptation of the
novel by the French writer
Delphine de Vigan, about a
novelist called Delphine.
Delphine-in-the-novel
(played by Janie Dee) has
written a family memoir that
has made her a huge star — as
indeed De Vigan did in 2012.
Now she is being pursued by
an increasingly creepy woman
named L. “It wasn’t a
seduction,” she says of their
first meeting. Hinting that that
was precisely what it was.
There is nothing new about
such literary trickery. For
years Brooklyn has been full
of tousle-haired, tortoiseshellglasses wearing, New Yorkercontributing writers churning
out perplexing is-it-isn’t-itreally-true fiction. The
difference is that those books
are normally not much fun.
They tend to contain nods to
WG Sebald and a lot of close
analysis of self.
This, by contrast, is a
delight. It captures female
friendship, while Tara
Fitzgerald’s voice perfectly
suits L’s ambiguity. Usually on
radio plays you can almost
hear the table the actors are
sitting round, but here, when
someone says they are
moving you hear them move.
It’s an important detail. There
is audio truth in this drama —
whatever its actual truth.
Catherine Nixey
Podcast choice
Change Agent
nytimes.com
This is just the sort of
American podcast that was
spoofed by the BBC’s The
East Coast Listening Post:
cute music, folksy delivery,
bizarre ads. But it is also
very interesting, looking at
people who have approached
problems in new ways. CN
Find love through what you love.
Dating is always easier when you start out with
something in common. The Times Dating is the place
to meet Times readers who have the same interests
(and intellect) as you. Just think, this page could be
the beginning of your next chapter.
Start your story at thetimesdating.co.uk
24 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Saturday 17 | Viewing guide
DONALL FARMER/PA
Critic’s choice
Live Six Nations Rugby Union
ITV, noon/2.25pm; BBC One, 4.30pm
As the Six Nations reaches its
climax, the expectation was
that the match between
England and Ireland at
Twickenham this afternoon
(ITV, 2.25pm) would have
been a shoot-out for the
Grand Slam crown. However,
England followed up a
surprise defeat by Scotland
in the Calcutta Cup with an
abject loss to France last
weekend, meaning that
Ireland were crowned
champions with a game to
spare. All Eddie Jones’s side
have to play for is preventing
Ireland from clinching the
Grand Slam on the hallowed
Twickenham turf. It is the
reverse of the situation last
year, when it was Ireland who
ended England’s hopes of the
Grand Slam with victory in
Dublin on the final weekend
of the tournament. “We know
how difficult it will be,” said
Johnny Sexton, the Ireland
fly half, after the 28-8 win over
Scotland that won them the
championship, pictured. “The
shoe is on the other foot from
last year and I am sure they
will be licking their lips.”
However, England looked
toothless against France and
it is more likely that it will be
Sexton and Co who will be
licking their lips. Not since
2006 have England lost three
matches in a Six Nations
season, but that is a real
possibility. Mark Pougatch
presents, with analysis from
Clive Woodward, Jonny
Wilkinson and Brian O’Driscoll.
Before that, Italy take on
Scotland at the Stadio
Olimpico (ITV, noon), with the
hosts looking to avoid yet
another wooden spoon in the
tournament, while BBC One
has coverage of the match
between Wales and France
at the Principality Stadium
(4.30pm). Joe Clay
Further recommendations
It’s the FA Cup quarter finals today as Swansea City take on Spurs
and Man United face Brighton (BT Sport 1, 11.45am/7.30pm)
Britain at Low Tide Troy: Fall of a City
Below the Surface
Channel 4, 8pm
BBC One, 9pm
BBC Four, 9pm
The maritime documentary
continues with a profile of the
River Severn. It doesn’t thrum
with the promise of drama,
given its underwhelming
pledge to unearth “the
amazing stories of the intertidal
zone”. There’s a quiet charm,
though, with its team of slightly
geeky presenters walking
through centimetre-deep water
with walking sticks and poring
over 1970s barge crashes. A
highlight is an interview with
a “local ferry enthusiast” who
gets excited about the history
of the Severn ferries, pulling
out a photo of its most famous
passenger: “His Royal Bobness,
Bob Dylan!” Alexi Duggins
Given that Homer set down
the story of The Iliad about
2,700 years ago, there doesn’t
seem much to be gained by
the BBC insisting on a tight veil
of secrecy around the plot
of this modern retelling.
Nonetheless, as we reach
episode five, BBC One’s press
office is insisting on a
journalistic omerta for every
significant detail in tonight’s
episode. Here’s what we can tell
you: there are sandals aplenty,
lots of people speaking in
extremely gruff voices and a
plot that moves at a glacial
pace as fugitive Paris, hunted
by the Greeks, returns to the
hills where he grew up. AD
It’s not the police’s day as
hostage negotiations drag on
in this Danish crime drama
from the creators of The Killing
and Borgen. The realisation
that terrorists capable of
abducting a train carriage
full of people are probably
not rank amateurs sends
coppers chasing after
ex-military leads. It’s a
fast-paced, gripping double
bill that comes with the kind
of hooky writing that’s a
hallmark of Scandi noir;
its characters are so well
rounded that the backstories
of the hostages are almost
as engrossing as the
shoot-outs. AD
Catch
up
Requiem
BBC iPlayer, available
for a year
There’s a real sense of
the sinister running
through this six-part
supernatural
drama, and
ultimately a dash
of Dennis
Wheatley. Lydia
Wilson stars as
Matilda Gray, a
rising cellist star
preparing for a
London concert
whose world is
turned upside down by a
bizarre family tragedy. Soon
she is drawn into the case of a
young girl who vanished from
a Welsh village 23 years
earlier, a place she is soon
snooping round, to the
suspicion of the local folk.
What unfolds is as much a
smalltown mystery-noir
as it is ghostly
hokum, her
amateur sleuthing
leading her to
Dean House — a
place that, the
local estate agent
wouldn’t tell you,
is remote, has an
eerie basement
and is prone to
power cuts.
James Jackson
Winged Bull in the Films of the day
Elephant Case
Defiance (15, 2008)
BBC Two, 10.40pm
In 1939 the National Gallery’s
art collection was evacuated to
a Welsh slate mine to protect it
from Luftwaffe bombing raids.
This piece of contemporary
dance, choreographed by
Wayne McGregor, imagines one
of those paintings as a human
being, depicting its journey out
of London (and back). Footage
begins with two underwearclad dancers cavorting
sensuously in the National
Gallery until the music dies and
we’re suddenly watching a
male dancer perform horrific
contortions in a mine. At times
moving, at times bizarre. AD
Variations
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
6.00pm-7.00 Hugh’s Wild West. How the
people and animals of Dartmoor live
alongside each other
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
5.00pm-5.30 Final Score from Northern
Ireland 9.00 St Patrick’s Night Concert
2018. From St Anne’s Cathedral in Belfast
10.00 FILM Suite Francaise (2014) 11.40
Performance Live: Winged Bull in the
Elephant Case. Second World War drama
starring Kristin Scott Thomas 12.10am
Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the Lobby.
Return of the series exploring
extraordinary hostelries, beginning with
the Brando Resort (r) 1.10-1.15 Wild on
Water: Greyabbey Mud Flats. Looking at
why Strangford Lough supports such a
diverse range of wildlife (r)
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
4.30pm Sportscene 5.30 The Repair
Shop. A music box damaged during the
Blitz 6.00 The Repair Shop. The team
restores a broken pipe and a dilapidated
gramophone 6.30 Hugh’s Wild West 7.30
Eòrpa. The disappearance of 6,000
people in communist-era Albania. In
Gaelic 8.00-8.30 Gardeners’ World 9.00
Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago
10.00 FILM Suite Francaise (2014) 11.40
Performance Live: Winged Bull in the
Elephant Case 12.10am-2.15 FILM
Defiance (2008)
● STV As ITV except: 12.50am River
Monsters. From the Florida Keys 1.20
Teleshopping 2.20 After Midnight 3.20
Babushka. Game show (r) 4.10 ITV
Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 10.45pm St Patrick’s
Day 11.15 FILM Fast & Furious (2009)
1.20am Lesser Spotted Journeys (r) 1.50
Teleshopping 2.50-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.00 Stwnsh Sadwrn
10.00 Yr Ynys (r) 11.00 Pobol y Rhondda
(r) 11.30 Ward Plant (r) 12.00 Gwanas i
Gbara (r) 1.00pm Ffermio (r) 1.30 Cefn
Gwlad (r) 2.30 Bois y Caca (r) 2.55 Alex
Jones: Y Fam Gymreig (r) 3.50 Popeth ar
Ffilm (r) 4.15 Live Clwb Rygbi
Rhyngwladol: Wales v France (Kick-off
5.00) 7.25 News a Chwaraeon 7.30 3 Lle:
Adam Price (r) 8.00 Lle Aeth Pawb?
Merched Pop 65-75. Documentary 9.00
Seiclo: Paris-Nice 10.00 Jonathan (r)
11.00-11.35 Hansh (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
BBC Two, 11.10pm
Edward Zwick’s stirring Second World War drama is based on a
true story of extreme heroism. Three Jewish brothers, played by
Liev Schreiber, Daniel Craig and Jamie Bell, eluded the Nazis and
hid in the forests of Belarus. Yet rather than just escape, they
decided that they needed to fight back. To do this they joined
Russian resistance fighters and formed a community deep in a
wood, offering sanctuary to about 1,000 Polish Jews who had fled
from the advancing German forces. Zwick is prone to clichés and
there’s little here you won’t have seen before, but this is an
affecting war film nonetheless. (137min) Wendy Ide
Suite Française (15, 2014)
BBC Two, 9pm
If you were captivated by Irène
Némirovsky’s nuanced, witty novel
of French life under German
occupation, you may be dismayed
to see it prettified into a Cath
Kidston floral romance. Michelle
Williams is the young French wife
who falls for the German officer
(Matthias Schoenaerts, pictured with Williams) posted at the
house she shares with her disapproving mother (Kristin Scott
Thomas). Williams and Schoenaerts are rather charming in their
tentative passion and the latter, who played tougher guys in Rust
and Bone and Bullhead, is the perfect gentleman here. The
gossiping townsfolk, meanwhile, stand by with baskets, looking
ready for a little musical number. (107min) Kate Muir
Gambit (12, 2012)
BBC One, 11.50pm
The Coen brothers co-wrote this loose remake of a 1966 crime
caper, but this is comedy of the “Whoops, there go my trousers”
variety. If you fancy a deliciously silly romp that gleefully
punctures art world pomposity and offers Colin Firth a chance
to reveal his goofy comic talents — and his legs — you need look
no farther. Firth plays Harry Deane, the put-upon art expert who
plans an elaborate con on his billionaire bully of a boss (the late
Alan Rickman on fine, boisterous form), assisted by Cameron
Diaz’s unpredictable rodeo queen. For all the stars in the cast,
it’s the supporting actors who get the biggest laughs, not least
art expert Stanley Tucci’s baroque pretention. (90min) WI
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 25
1G R
Saturday 17
Also available online and on tablet
Digital subscribers can now use our interactive seven-day
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thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast. With Charlie Stayt
and Naga Munchetty 10.00 Saturday
Kitchen Live. With Ian Orr, José
Pizarro and Amanda Redman 11.30
Classic Mary Berry. A range of recipes
inspired by produce grown in Britain
(r) 12.00 Football Focus. Dan Walker
and guests review the week’s
headlines 1.00pm BBC News; Weather
1.15 MasterChef. Cookery challenge (r)
2.15 MasterChef (r) 3.15 MasterChef (r)
3.45 Wanted Down Under Revisited.
Nicki Chapman catches up with
a North Yorkshire family who
sampled life in Australia in 2010
4.30 Live Six Nations Rugby Union:
Wales v France (Kick-off 5.00). John
Inverdale presents coverage of the
final match of the tournament, which
takes place at the Principality Stadium
in Cardiff. See Viewing Guide
6.10am The Wonder of Animals (r)
6.40 Naomi’s Nightmares of Nature
(r) 7.10 The Pets Factor 7.30 The
Dengineers 8.00 Absolute Genius:
Monster Builds 8.30 Beyond Bionic
9.00 Robot Wars (r) 10.00 Gorilla
Family and Me (r) 11.00 Homes Under
the Hammer (r) 11.35 Cats v Dogs:
Which Is Best? (r) 12.35pm Orson
Welles: Talking Pictures (r) 1.20 FILM
Waterloo (U, 1970) Napoleon returns
from exile to reclaim his empire, while
the Duke of Wellington marshals an
army for the battle to come. Historical
drama starring Rod Steiger and
Christopher Plummer 3.30 Me and
My Dog: The Ultimate Contest (r)
4.30 Final Score 5.30 The Repair
Shop. An antique plate camera (r)
6.00 Hugh’s Wild West. Hugh
explores the Somerset Levels
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25
James Martin’s Saturday Morning
11.20 Britain’s Brightest Family (r)
11.50 ITV News; Weather
12.00 Live Six Nations Rugby Union:
Italy v Scotland (Kick-off 12.30). Jill
Douglas presents coverage of the
opening game in the final round of
fixtures, which takes place at the
Stadio Olimpico. See Viewing Guide
2.25pm Live Six Nations Rugby Union:
England v Ireland (Kick-off 2.45).
Coverage of the final match of the
tournament for both sides, which
takes place at Twickenham.
See Viewing Guide 5.00 The Chase.
Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh
(r) 6.00 ITV News; Weather 6.15
Regional News; Weather 6.30 New
You’ve Been Framed! Comical clips
narrated by Harry Hill
6.00am Live Winter Paralympics.
Coverage of day eight, which features
wheelchair curling, alpine skiing, and
cross-country skiing 8.00 Winter
Paralympics Breakfast 9.00 Frasier (r)
9.30 Frasier (r) 10.00 Frasier (r) 10.30
The Big Bang Theory (r) 10.55 The Big
Bang Theory (r) 11.25 The Big Bang
Theory (r) 11.55 The Simpsons (r)
12.25pm The Simpsons (r) 12.55 The
Simpsons (r) 1.25 FILM Casper (PG,
1995) The daughter of a paranormal
expert befriends the amiable ghost of
a young boy, but finds other spooks
are not so friendly. Family comedy
starring Christina Ricci 3.20 A Place in
the Sun: Winter Sun (r) 4.25 The
Secret Life of the Zoo (r) 5.30 Winter
Paralympics Today. A round-up
of action from day eight in South
Korea 6.30 Channel 4 News
6.00am Milkshake! 10.05 Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles (r) 10.35 The
Gadget Show (r) 11.35 Police
Interceptors (r) 12.35pm Police
Interceptors. Damien Stevens draws
his stun gun on an aggressive driver
(r) 1.30 Police Interceptors. Damo
Stevens pursues a heroin dealer (r)
2.30 The Nightmare Neighbour Next
Door. A man subjected to a campaign
of harassment by his neighbour (r)
3.30 The Nightmare Neighbour Next
Door. A pensioner who faced months
of vandalism and abuse from his
neighbour (r) 4.30 Can’t Pay? We’ll
Take It Away. Paul and Steve call for
police back-up at a flat in London (r)
5.25 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away.
Paul, Steve and Ben make a shocking
discovery when they break into a
home (r) 6.25 5 News Weekend
Louis Hunter as Paris (9pm)
Performance Live (10.40pm)
Vin Diesel in Fast & Furious (10.45pm)
Christina Ricci in Casper (1.25pm)
Live FIA Formula E (6.30pm)
7.00 BBC News; BBC Regional
News; Weather
7.00 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond
the Lobby Giles Coren and
Monica Galetti head to the
foothills of the Swiss Alps
to experience health and
wellness tourism at the Grand
Resort Bad Ragaz (3/6) (r)
7.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday Night
Takeaway George Ezra opens
the show, as well as joining Ant
and Dec on stage for the End
of The Show Show. Ashley
and Jordan Banjo from dance
troupe Diversity are pushed to
their limits in the return of Get
Outt off My Ear!! Steph
hen Mullhern
and Scarlett Moffatt join in the
fun, and another player gets the
chance to Win the Ads (4/7)
7.00 Penelope Keith’s Coastal
Villages The actress discovers
the idyllic coastal villages of
East Anglia, where she is
plunged into tales of bravery,
scandal and intrigue
6.30 Live FIA Formula E: The Punta
del Este ePrix Vernon Kay
presents coverage of the
sixth round of the campaign,
which is held in Punta
del Este, Uruguay
8.00 Britain at Low Tide Tori
Herridge explores the Severn
Estuary, visiting the site
of a medieval village that
disappeared into the sea and
finding out how important the
ferry crossing at Aust once was.
See Viewing Guide (4/6)
8.10 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
Documentary giving an insight
into the world of debt
collection from the
perspectives of debtors,
their creditors and those who
collect the payments (r)
7.20 Pointless Celebrities
Contestants on the quiz include
Milton Jones, Jay Rayner,
Ellie Taylor and Sara Pascoe
8.10 Casualty Rash’s new-found
confidence is tested when he
treats a prisoner, who also leads
Gem into danger. Bea looks
after a Falklands War veteran,
before going up against
smarmy F1 Eddie
9.00 Troy: Fall of a City Paris flees
to the hills in which he grew up
as he seeks safe refuge from
the Greeks, and back in Troy,
Helen is left without a single
ally as Pandarus’s investigation
gathers momentum. See
Viewing Guide (5/8)
8.00 David Attenborough’s Natural
Curiosities Mathematics in the
animal and plant world (4/6)
8.30 Dad’s Army The king’s
train passes through
Walmington-on-Sea (3/7) (r)
10.00 BBC News; Weather; followed
by National Lottery Update
9.00 FILM Suite Francaise (15, 2014)
A married woman attempts to
ignore the Nazi officer stationed
in her home during Germany’s
occupation of France, but a
passionate affair soon develops
between them. Second World
War drama starring Kristin Scott
Thomas, Michelle Williams
and Matthias Schoenaerts.
See Film Choice
10.20 Match of the Day Highlights of
Bournemouth v West Bromwich
Albion, Huddersfield Town v
Crystal Palace, Stoke City v
Everton and Liverpool v
Watford in the Premier League
10.40Performance Live: Winged
Bull in the Elephant Case An
immersive dance performance.
See Viewing Guide
11.20 MOTD: FA Cup Highlights
Including action from Liverpool
v Watford and Bournemouth
v West Bromwich Albion
11.50 FILM Gambit (12, 2012)
A put-u
upon art expert plans
revenge on a millionaire by
tricking him into buying a fake
painting. Comedy remake with
Colin Firth. See Film Choice
1.10am Weather for the
Week Ahead 1.15 BBC News
8.30 The Voice UK It’s the first of
the knockout shows as the
remaining 12 acts sing for
a place in the semi-finals.
Coaches Will.ii.a
am, Tom Jones,
Olly Murs and reigning
champion Jennifer Hudson
can pick only one act from their
teams to progress. Helping
them are Craig David, members
of the Black Eyed Peas, Kylie
Minogue, Leona Lewis and The
Voice UK’s reigning champion,
Mo Jamil. Emma Willis presents
10.30 ITV News
11.10 FILM Defiance (15, 2008) Three
Jewish brothers escape into the
forests during the Nazi invasion
of Poland and form a resistance
movement. Second World War
drama starring Daniel Craig and
Jamie Bell. See Film Choice
10.45 FILM Fast & Furious (12, 2009)
News of a friend’s murder
brings a fugitive back to his
home city of Los Angeles in
search of revenge. It is not long
before his pursuit leads him to
cross paths with an FBI agent,
and the pair work together to
bring down those responsible.
Thriller sequel starring Vin
Diesel and Paul Walker
1.15-2.15am Civilisations. Simon
Schama explores the artistic
depiction of nature. He discovers
that landscape painting is seldom
a straightforward description
of observed nature but rather a
projection of dreams and idylls (r)
12.45am Play to the Whistle. Holly
Willoughby hosts the sports-themed
panel show (r) 1.30 Jackpot247.
Interactive gaming 3.00 Babushka.
Game show hosted by Rylan ClarkNeal (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen.
Text-based information service
9.00 FILM Fantastic Four (12, 2015)
A gifted young scientist joins
a secret project researching
inter-dimensional travel, and
return from a journey to
another world granted
superhuman powers. Their
abilities make them the only
hope for Earth’s survival when
a colleague who was lost on
their expedition returns to
wreak vengeance. Superhero
adventure starring Miles
Teller, Michael B Jordan,
Kate Mara and Jamie Bell
10.55 8 Out of 10 Cats Does
Countdown Jon Richardson
and Michelle Wolf take on guest
captain Jonathan Ross with
Johnny Vegas, while three-man
comedy act Pappy’s helps out in
Dictionary Corner (6/6) (r)
9.00 Football on 5: The
Championship Highlights of
the weekend’s games,
including Leeds United v
Sheffield Wednesday and
Barnsley v Millwall
9.55 Football on 5: Goal Rush Goals
from the weekend’s games in
Leagues One and Two
10.30 Live: Hayemaker Fight Night:
Matt Askin v Stephen
Simmons and Joe Joyce v
Donnie Palmer Coverage of
the respective cruiserweight
and heavyweight bouts,
which take place at the
York Hall in Bethnal Green
11.55 The Inbetweeners (6/6) (r)
12.30am Live Winter Paralympics.
Coverage of day nine from South
Korea, which features alpine skiing,
cross-country skiing and ice hockey
5.35 Location, Location, Location.
Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer
go house-hunting in London (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am Cowboy
Builders. Property expert Laura
Hamilton helps a Bristol family (r)
4.00 Cowboy Builders. From
Rossendale valley (r) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 House Busters
(r) (SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
26 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Tower Heist
Saturday 17 | Primetime digital guide
Ben Stiller and Eddy
Murphy star in this comedy
crime caper of a movie
5Star, 9pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Lost Kingdoms of Central
America Dr Jago Cooper
examines the history of
the Taino people of the
Caribbean (2/4) (R)
8.00 The Silk Road Sam Willis
traces the history of the
trade route. He visits Venice
and China’s ancient capital
Xian, where he discovers the
first deal of this global
network (1/3) (R)
9.00 Below the Surface Philip
plans an armed response to
the first hostage execution.
See Viewing Guide (3/8)
9.45 Below the Surface TTF gets
ever closer to the hostage
taker’s identity. In Danish.
See Viewing Guide (4/8)
10.30 TOTP2 A St Patrick’s Day
special, with performances
by the Boomtown Rats,
the Corrs and Enya (R)
11.15-12.15am Irish Rock at the BBC
Irish rock performances
from the archive (R)
7.00pm Midsomer Murders
The peaceful setting of a
prestigious local golf club is
rocked by murder when a
player is bludgeoned to
death on the 13th hole. With
guest appearances by
Nicholas Le Prevost, John
Standing and real-life golfer
Sam Torrance (1/7) (R)
9.00 Midsomer Murders As
Midsomer St Claire prepares
for storms and flooding, it
appears a murderer is using
ancient torture methods to
punish modern-day
“sinners”. With Rebecca
Front, Andrea Lowe and
Vincent Regan (2/5) (R)
11.00-1.10am Inspector Morse
When a secretary is found
dead in a pub car park by
her boyfriend, Morse’s
investigations uncover a
tangled web of passion and
corruption at the office
where she worked (4/4) (R)
6.55pm Come Dine with Me
Community manager
George hosts the final
dinner party in Hull (R)
7.25 Britain’s Wildest Weather
Footage of unusual weather
conditions recorded in
Britain during 2016,
including floods, superstorms, tornadoes and
lightning strikes (R)
9.00 Bin Laden: Shoot to Kill
Analysis of the American
operation to eliminate the
al-Qaeda leader, featuring
an interview with Barack
Obama and dramatic
reconstructions
of the events (R)
10.40 Father Ted The annual
football match leads
to trouble (R)
11.10 Father Ted After cheating in
the football match, Ted is
given a forfeit (R)
11.40-12.15am Father Ted A famous
singer visits the house (R)
5.50pm FILM Avatar (12, 2009)
A soldier uses a genetically
engineered body to help an
alien tribe fight off a corrupt
mining corporation. James
Cameron’s sci-fi adventure
with Sam Worthington, Zoe
Saldana, Sigourney Weaver
and Stephen Lang
9.00 FILM R.I.P.D (12, 2013) A cop
is murdered in the line of
duty by his crooked partner,
and ends up recruited by a
ghostly police force
assigned to battle evil
spirits. Fantasy adventure
starring Ryan Reynolds, Jeff
Bridges and Kevin Bacon
10.55-12.40am FILM The Pyramid
(15, 2014) Archaeologists
discover a previously
unexplored pyramid in
Egypt, and disturb the dark
forces that have been
contained there. Horror
starring Ashley Hinshaw
and Denis O’Hare
7.00pm The Simpsons Two
executives hire Homer to
climb a mountain (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Lisa tries
to make amends for
cheating in an exam (R)
8.00 The Simpsons Homer offers
to donate a kidney (R)
8.30 The Simpsons Marge gets
breast implants (R)
9.00 FILM Ghostbusters (12,
1984) Three eccentric
scientists put their hi-tech
gadgetry and knowledge
of the paranormal to
money-making use by
setting up in business as
freelance ghost catchers.
Supernatural comedy with
Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd
and Sigourney Weaver
11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles The team
tracks a highly skilled
assailant out for revenge (R)
12.00-1.00am The Russell Howard
Hour With Richard Branson,
and Phil Ellis (4/14) (R)
7.00pm Without a Trace The team
searches for a missing
mother who has been
recruited as a drugs mule,
and Samantha goes
undercover in a bid to catch
those responsible (R)
8.00 Without a Trace As the team
continues their search for
Colleen, Samantha manages
to get a job in the same
retail outlet store where
Colleen worked (R)
9.00 Blue Bloods Eddie’s
judgement is clouded by her
past when she arrests a
loathed acquaintance from
college on questionable
charges. Vanessa Ray stars
10.00 Mosaic Joel weighs his
options as evidence against
him mounts (5/6)
11.00 Unseen A documentary
looking into the murders of
11 women in 2009 (R)
12.35am-1.10 Last Week Tonight
with John Oliver (R)
Drama
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
6.50pm FILM Gravity (12, 2013)
Two astronauts left stranded in
orbit make a perilous journey to
reach a space station before their
air runs out. Thriller with Sandra
Bullock and George Clooney
8.30 FILM Pacific Rim (12, 2013)
Earth is invaded by giant alien
monsters, so equally massive
robots with human pilots are
created to fight back. Sci-fi
adventure with Charlie Hunnam
11.10 Family Guy
11.35-12.10am Family Guy
4.00pm FILM How the West Was
Won (PG, 1962) Epic western with
James Stewart, Gregory Peck,
Henry Fonda and John Wayne
7.10 Storage Wars
8.00 FILM Jaws: The Revenge
(15, 1987) Thriller sequel starring
Michael Caine and Lorraine Gary
9.50 FILM Wanted (18, 2008)
Action adventure starring James
McAvoy and Angelina Jolie
12.00-1.45am FILM The Dictator
(15, 2012) Comedy starring Sacha
Baron Cohen and Anna Faris
7.00pm The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon’s grandmother visits
7.30 The Big Bang Theory
Bernadette shares some news
8.00 The Big Bang Theory Penny
tries to bond with Leonard’s mum
8.30 The Big Bang Theory Sheldon
pushes himself to the limit
9.00 FILM The World’s End (15,
2013) Five childhood friends
reunite, only to stumble on a threat
to the entire human race. Sci-fi
comedy starring Simon Pegg
11.10-12.15am Gogglebox
6.55pm FILM Bulletproof Monk
(12, 2003) A mysterious Tibetan
monk battles modern-day Nazis
while training a successor. Martial
arts thriller starring Chow Yun-Fat
9.00 FILM Tower Heist (12, 2011)
The manager of an apartment
complex recruits a thief to steal
back his friends’ pension fund from
a Wall Street fraudster. Comedy
with Ben Stiller and Eddie Murphy
11.10-1.00am FILM Hot Pursuit (12,
2015) Crime comedy with Reese
Witherspoon and Sofia Vergara
6.00pm FILM The Lady Vanishes
(PG, 1979) Remake of the
Hitchcock mystery starring Elliott
Gould and Cybill Shepherd
8.05 FILM The History of Mr Polly
(U, 1949) A shopkeeper finds
himself stuck in a dreary marriage,
and plans to make a fresh start.
Period comedy starring John Mills
10.05 FILM Sapphire (PG, 1959)
Murder mystery starring Nigel
Patrick and Michael Craig
11.55-3.00am FILM Peyton Place
(15, 1957) Drama with Diane Varsi
7.00pm Sue Thomas: FBEye The
hunt for a dangerous terrorist
believed to be plotting an attack
8.00 Rizzoli & Isles
A Revolutionary War re-enactment
becomes the scene of a murder
9.00 Wallander The detective
investigates the discovery of
a dead woman in a swamp.
Starring Kenneth Branagh
11.00-12.55am The 39 Steps The
BBC’s 2008 adaptation of John
Buchan’s yarn starring Rupert
Penry-Jones and Eddie Marsan
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Sounds of the Sixties
7.30 Sounds of the Sixties
8.00 Sounds of the Seventies
8.30 Sounds of the Seventies
9.00 TOTP2: Boy Bands
Performances by JLS, the Monkees,
Westlife and Village People
10.00 TOTP2: Girl Groups
Performances by the Supremes,
Spice Girls and B*Witched
11.00 Armada: 12 Days to Save
England Documentary (1/3)
12.00-1.00am Armada:
12 Days to Save England (2/3)
7.00pm Traffic Cops Highlights
8.00 Police Interceptors
A speeding motorist causes chaos
after crashing into a gas main
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
Officers make a shocking discovery
when they break into a home
10.00-12.10am FILM Enter the
Dragon (18, 1973) A former Shaolin
monk recruited as a secret agent
enters a kung fu contest in a bid to
expose a drug ring. Martial arts
thriller starring Bruce Lee,
John Saxon and Jim Kelly
7.00pm Not Going Out Lee and
Lucy try to maintain their romance
7.40 Not Going Out Lucy offends
her father-in-law Frank
8.20 Not Going Out Lee, Lucy and
the children set off to catch a ferry
9.00 Would I Lie to You? With
Gregg Wallace, Nigel Havers,
Charlie Brooker and Nina Wadia
9.40 Would I Lie to You?
10.20 Would I Lie to You?
11.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life
Is Goodish Man versus machine
12.00-1.00am QI XL
6.40pm Ancient Bible
Destinations of Greece The
ancient city of Corinth (2/2)
7.50 The War Recalling how US
Marines took the Pacific atoll of
Tarawa in November 1943 (5/14)
9.00 The War The Allied invasion
of Italy in early 1944 (6/14)
10.15 The War Servicemen from
four American communities
recall the events of D-Day (7/14)
11.30-12.50am The War The Allies’
slow progress through Europe
during the summer of 1944 (8/14)
6.30pm Led Zeppelin: Celebration
Day The band’s one-off reunion
performance at London’s O2 in
2007 as part of a benefit concert
9.00 Black Sabbath: The End of
the End Documentary charting the
band’s last gig, a sold-out home
town performance in 2017, at
Birmingham’s Genting Arena
11.00 Shane MacGowan:
A Wreck Reborn Documentary
charting the restoration of
the Pogues frontman’s teeth
12.00-12.30am The Cranberries
7.00pm Nothing to Declare
7.30 Nothing to Declare
8.00 Nothing to Declare
8.30 Nothing to Declare
9.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers
Raoul Moat, who went on the run
after shooting his ex-girlfriend
10.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers An
insight into the crimes of serial
killers Fred and Rose West (4/12)
11.00 World’s Most Evil Killers A
profile of Joachim Georg Kroll (2/8)
12.00-1.00am Brit Cops: Frontline
Crime UK Documentary (1/12)
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm The Mentalist
8.00 The Mentalist
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 American Dad!
10.30 American Dad!
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Garage Rehab
8.00 James May’s Toy Stories
Entering a Plasticine garden
into the Chelsea Flower Show
9.00 Chaos Caught on Camera
9.30 Chaos Caught on Camera
10.00 Murder on CCTV
11.00 Killing Fields: Murder Isle
12.00-1.00am Wheeler Dealers
6.00pm FILM Jane (PG, 2017)
Documentary charting the life of
the primatologist Jane Goodall
8.00 Dian Fossey: Secrets in the
Mist Triple bill. The story of the
conservationist whose work
helped to save mountain gorillas
from extinction (1, 2 & 3/3)
11.00-1.00am Car SOS (5 & 6/10)
7.00pm Friends
8.00 Impractical Jokers
9.00 Michael McIntyre’s
Showtime
10.00 Live at the Apollo
11.00 Lip Sync Battle
11.30 The Chris Ramsey Show
12.00-1.40am FILM Bruno (18,
2009) Spoof documentary
6.35pm The Vicar of Dibley Part
two of two. Last-ever episode
7.55 Only Fools and Horses
9.10 The Royle Family
9.50 The Royle Family
10.20 The Royle Family
11.00 Michael McIntyre’s
Comedy Roadshow
12.00-12.40am Bottom
7.00pm My Family Ben suffers
agonising toothache
7.40 My Family Michael takes a
shine to classmate Bex
8.20 My Family Susan visits Janey
9.00 Russell Howard’s Good News
9.40 Russell Howard’s Good News
10.20 Inside the Ambulance
11.20-12.20am 999 Rescue Squad
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
5.35pm Wonder Woman (12, 2017)
Fantasy adventure starring
Gal Gadot and Chris Pine
8.00 Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) Mechanic Cade
Yeager continues his fight against
the evil Decepticons. Fantasy
adventure starring Mark Wahlberg
10.40-12.20am It Comes At Night
(15, 2017) In the aftermath of a
deadly plague, one desperate
family agrees to shelter another.
Horror thriller starring Joel
Edgerton and Christopher Abbott
6.15pm All the Right Moves (15,
1983) A high-school football player
clashes with his equally ambitious
coach. Drama starring Tom Cruise
8.00 The Prestige (12, 2006) Two
Victorian magicians become bitter
rivals. Mystery thriller starring
Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
10.15-12.05am Kiss of the Dragon
(18, 2001) A Chinese detective
travels to Paris to investigate a
drug ring, but ends up framed for
murder by a corrupt French cop.
Martial arts adventure with Jet Li
6.10pm Jumanji (PG, 1995) Fantasy
adventure starring Robin Williams
8.00 The Lost World: Jurassic
Park (PG, 1997) A scientist joins a
research team on an island where
dinosaurs roam. Adventure sequel
starring Jeff Goldblum
10.15 The Land Before Time (U,
1988) Animated adventure with
the voice of Gabriel Damon
11.35-1.00am The Swan Princess:
The Secret of the Castle (U, 1997)
Animated fantasy sequel with
the voice of Michelle Nicastro
5.30pm The A-Team (12, 2010)
Four soldiers jailed for a crime they
did not commit escape from prison
and track down the culprit. Action
adventure with Liam Neeson
7.30 Fast & Furious 8 (12, 2017)
Dominic Toretto betrays those
closest to him because of a
mystery woman. Action sequel
starring Vin Diesel
10.00-12.05am Kong: Skull Island
(12, 2017) A mission to a island
descends into chaos. Action
adventure starring Tom Hiddleston
6.00pm Crazy Heart (15, 2009)
Drama starring Jeff Bridges as a
washed-up country music legend
8.00 Blade Runner: Theatrical
Version (15, 1982) A cop in a future
LA is put on a mission to kill a
group of android replicants. Sci-fi
thriller starring Harrison Ford
10.00 Kill Bill: Vol 1 (18, 2003)
Martial arts thriller starring
Uma Thurman and Lucy Liu
12.00-2.25am Kill Bill: Vol 2 (18,
2004) Revenge thriller sequel
starring Uma Thurman
Debbie Reynolds and Gregory
Peck star in the epic How
the West Was Won (ITV4, 4pm)
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 27
1G R
Saturday 17
Sports guide
Live FA Cup Football
BT Sport 1, 11.45am
Radio 1
The FA Cup reaches the
quarter-final stage and the
first of two matches pits
Swansea City against
Tottenham Hotspur at the
Liberty Stadium (kick-off
12.15pm). With Harry Kane
injured, Swans old boy
Fernando Llorente, pictured,
could be leading the line for
Spurs. Then, Manchester
United welcome Brighton &
Hove Albion to Old Trafford
(kick-off 7.45pm). Joe Clay
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.00am Dev & Alice 10.00
Maya Jama 1.00pm Matt
Edmondson 4.00 MistaJam
7.00 DJ Target @ SXSW
11.00 Diplo and Friends
1.00am Kan D Man & DJ
Limelight 4.00 David Rodigan
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
6.30am-8.35 LIVE Super
Rugby: Highlanders v
Crusaders (Kick-off 6.35)
8.40-10.30 LIVE Super
Rugby: Brumbies v Sharks
12.00-3.00pm LIVE EFL:
Fulham v Queens Park
Rangers (Kick-off 12.30)
3.10-5.00 LIVE Super Rugby:
Lions v Sunwolves
(Kick-off 3.15)
5.15 LIVE EFL: Bolton
Wanderers v Aston Villa
(Kick-off 5.30)
7.40 LIVE PGA Tour Golf The
Arnold Palmer Invitational
10.00-1.00am LIVE LPGA
Tour Golf The Founders Cup
3.10pm-5.00 LIVE Super
Rugby: Lions v Sunwolves
6.00-10.00 LIVE ATP Masters
Tennis The BNP Paribas Open
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
7.30am-9.35 LIVE Chinese
Super League: Hebei China
Fortune v Shandong Luneng
Taishan (Kick-off 7.30)
12.00-3.00pm LIVE EFL:
Fulham v Queens Park
Rangers (Kick-off 12.30)
5.15 LIVE EFL: Bolton
Wanderers v Aston Villa
(Kick-off 5.30)
7.40-9.45 LIVE La Liga
Football: Real Betis v
Espanyol (Kick-off 7.45)
11.35-1.45am LIVE MLS:
Atlanta United FC v
Vancouver Whitecaps
(Kick-off 11.35)
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
4.30pm LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The Arnold Palmer
Invitational
10.00-1.00am LIVE LPGA
Tour Golf: The Founders Cup
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
6.30am-8.35 LIVE Super
Rugby: Highlanders v
Crusaders (Kick-off 6.35)
8.40-10.30 LIVE Super
Rugby: Brumbies v Sharks
1.00pm-2.50 LIVE Super
Rugby: Stormers v Blues
4.55-7.00 LIVE Betfred Super
League: Catalan Dragons v
Warrington Wolves
9.35-11.25 LIVE Super Rugby:
Jaguares v Reds
5.00am-6.50 LIVE Super
Rugby: Waratahs v Rebels
Radio guide
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
6.30am LIVE Hyundai
A-League: Wellington
Phoenix v Newcastle Jets
8.45-11.00 LIVE Hyundai
A-League: Sydney FC v
Brisbane Roar (Kick-off 8.50)
11.45-2.30pm LIVE Emirates
FA Cup: Swansea City v
Tottenham Hotspur
(Kick-off 12.15)
5.00 LIVE Premier League:
Liverpool v Watford
(Kick-off 5.30)
7.30-10.15 LIVE Emirates FA
Cup: Manchester United v
Brighton & Hove Albion
(Kick-off 7.45)
12.30am-3.00 LIVE NBA: San
Antonio Spurs v Minnesota
Timberwolves (Tip-off 12.30)
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
9.30am-12.30pm LIVE
MotoGP The third free
practice session ahead of
the Grand Prix of Qatar
1.00-5.30 LIVE MotoGP
Qualifying ahead of the
Grand Prix of Qatar
9.00-11.30 LIVE UFC: Fabricio
Werdum v Alexander Volkov
12.00-3.00am LIVE NCAA
Wrestling
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
5.15pm LIVE Bundesliga: VfL
Wolfsburg v Schalke 04
7.30-9.45 LIVE Serie A: Spal v
Juventus (Kick-off 7.45)
10.00-12.30am LIVE NCAA:
Swimming & Diving (F)
Eurosport 1
5.00am Huey on Saturday
6.00 Sounds of the 60s 8.00
Saturday Breakfast 10.00
Graham Norton 1.00pm Pick of
the Pops 3.00 The Zoe Ball
Show 6.00 Liza Tarbuck 8.00
Trevor Nelson 10.00 The Craig
Charles House Party 12.00 Ana
Matronic’s Disco Devotion
2.00am Radio 2’s Showtunes
Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
7.00am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Record Review New
releases of baroque music
12.15pm Music Matters Tom
Service talks to the French
conductor Laurence Equilbey
1.00 News
1.02 Saturday Classics
Guest presenters share
their musical interests
3.00 Sound of Cinema
Matthew Sweet explores the
influence video games have
had on film and filmmakers
4.00 Jazz Record Requests
5.00 Jazz Line-Up Kevin Le
Gendre celebrates the music of
the harpist, pianist and
composer Alice Coltrane (r)
6.30 Opera on 3 from the Met
A live performance of the
current production of Strauss’
Elektra, which takes place at
the Metropolitan Opera
House in New York. See Choice
8.45 Philip Glass Matt
Haimovitz plays Philip Glass’s
2010 Partita No 2 for Solo Cello
9.30 Between the Ears:
Astronautica Fantastica
Children exploring a derelict
attic discover a dusty box of
classic film soundtracks,
dropping the needle on the
records to find clues about
the elusive owner
10.00 Hear and Now
The music of James Tenney
12.00 Geoffrey Smith’s Jazz (r)
1.00am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
8.30am LIVE Alpine Skiing
9.30 LIVE Alpine Skiing
10.30 LIVE Cross-Country
Skiing From Falun in Sweden
11.30-1.00pm LIVE Biathlon
1.30-4.30 LIVE Cycling:
Milan-San Remo
7.00-8.15 LIVE Motorsport:
Formula E
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 iPM Interactive debate
6.00 News and Papers
6.07 Ramblings (r)
6.30 Farming Today This
Week Farming news
7.00 Today
8.51 (LW) Yesterday in
Parliament
Today’s picks
Disinformation —
A User’s Guide
Radio 4, 8pm
Opera on 3
Radio 3, 6.30pm
Picture the scene. An election is
coming up in Britain; Russia is in
turmoil and fear of Russian
interference in British politics
is running high. Accusations of
Russian meddling make frontpage news. Sounds familiar?
Welcome to 1924 and the
Zinoviev letter — a supposed attempt by Communist agents to
influence our election. There is a lot of talk at the moment about
how we live in a post-truth society. But, Phil Tinline, pictured, asks
for this edition of Archive on 4, is the idea of a pre-post-truth
society in itself a fiction? Take the Zinoviev letter. Allegedly from
a Communist official, it asked the workers of the United
Kingdom to unite. As the Daily Mail headline put it: “Moscow
Orders To Our Reds. Great Plot Disclosed.” It was in fact bunk,
a forgery. Nonetheless, it did its work; less in deciding the
election than in undermining trust in the same. Catherine Nixey
9.00 Saturday Live
10.30 A Call from Joybubbles
Documentary (r)
11.00 The Week in
Westminster
11.30 From Our Own
Correspondent
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Money Box
12.30 The Now Show (r)
1.00 News Headlines
1.10 Any Questions? (r)
2.00 Any Answers? Phone-in
2.30 Drama: School Drama
— Romeo and Juliet By William
Shakespeare (4/4) (r)
3.30 The Art of Now: No
Singing No Movement (r)
4.00 Weekend Woman’s Hour
5.00 Saturday PM
5.30 The Bottom Line (r)
5.54 Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Loose Ends Host Clive
Anderson and contributor Sara
Cox are joined by the actor
David Morrissey, the body
coach Joe Wicks and the
cooking comedian George Egg
7.00 Profile
7.15 Saturday Review
8.00 Archive on 4:
Disinformation — A User’s
Guide Phil Tinline mines the
long history of disinformation
to identify techniques in
use today. See Choice
9.00 Drama: Foreign Bodies
— The Samaritan’s Secret (r)
10.00 News Headlines
10.15 The Moral Maze (r)
11.00 Brain of Britain (r)
11.30 Africa’s Digital Poets (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am From Fact to
Fiction (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am 5 Live Boxing with
Costello & Bunce 5.30 Fit &
Fearless 6.00 Saturday
Breakfast 9.00 The Danny
Baker Show 11.00 Fighting Talk
12.00 5 Live Sport
12.30pm 5 Live Sport:
Premier League Football 201718 — Burnley v Chelsea
(Kick-off 12.30) 2.15 5 Live
Sport. Build-up to England v
Ireland in rugby union’s Six
Nations 2.45 5 Live Sport: Six
Nations 2018 5.00 Live Sports
Report. The day’s scores and
reports 6.00 Live 6-0-6. With
Jason Mohammad and
Robbie Savage 8.00 Kermode
and Mayo’s Film Review (r)
9.00 Stephen Nolan
12.00 Brexitcast 12.30am Arts
Club with Will Gompertz
1.00 Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am Seven Days of
Talksport 7.00 Georgie
Bingham and Tony Cascarino
11.00 Warm Up 11.45 Live
Match Day Live 7.30pm Live
FA Cup 10.00 Fight Night
12.00 Extra Time with
Tom Latchem
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
Classical tragedy is treated
with such sombre reverence
these days. This Metropolitan
Opera version of Elektra
has had some great reviews,
filled with words such as
“tormented” and “terrifying”.
No doubt it was, although it’s
nice to remember that when
Elektra was put on in ancient
Greece it would have been
followed by the performance
of a satyr play in which
people bounced around in
phallus costumes. Christine
Goerke sings Elektra; Yannick
Nézet-Séguin conducts the
New York Metropolitan Opera
Chorus and Orchestra. CN
11.00 News 11.06 The
Newsroom 11.30 Global
Business 12.00 The Real
Story 1.00pm Newshour
2.00 News 2.06 Global Beats
3.00 News 3.06 Sportsworld
4.00 News 4.06 Sportsworld
5.00 News 5.06 Sportsworld
6.00 The Newsroom 6.30
The Cultural Frontline 7.00
News 7.06 Global Questions
8.00 News 8.06 The Forum
8.50 Over to You 9.00
Newshour 10.00 News 10.06
The Newsroom 10.20 Sports
News 10.30 Global Business
11.00 News 11.06 The World
This Week 11.30 Boston
Calling 12.00 News 12.06am
The Cultural Frontline 12.30
Trending 12.50 Over to You
1.00 News 1.06 The World
This Week 1.30 Click 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 Discovery 3.00 News
3.06 From Our Own
Correspondent 3.30 Living
with the Gods 3.50 Witness
4.00 News 4.06 The
Documentary
6 Music
Digital only
8.00am Monsieur Non 9.00
Pam Ayres: The Radio Years
12.00 We’ve Been Here Before
12.30pm King Street Junior
1.00 A Small Town Murder
Omnibus 2.10 Inheritance
Tracks 2.15 Down Your Way
3.00 Monsieur Non 4.00 For
Services Rendered 5.30
Freedom Pass 6.00 Mayflies
6.45 Cookie Jar 7.00 Pam
Ayres: The Radio Years 10.00
Comedy Club: Tommy
Tiernan’s Open Mouth 10.30
Irish Micks and Legends 10.45
The Expedition (r) 11.00 Dave
Allen: Goodnight and May
Your God Go With You 12.00
Mayflies 12.45am Cookie Jar
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The World
This Week 9.30 The Cultural
Frontline 10.00 Sports Hour
7.00am Mary Anne Hobbs
10.00 The Huey Show
1.00pm Liz Kershaw
3.00 Gilles Peterson 6.00
Craig Charles 9.00 Tom
Robinson 12.00 The Freak
Zone Playlist 1.00am The Joy
of 6 2.00 6 Music
Recommends: The New
Music Playlist 3.00 6 Music
Live Hour 4.00 Lyrics By:
With Murray Lachlan Young
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
7.00am Alan Titchmarsh
10.00 Bill Turnbull 1.00pm
Alexander Armstrong 3.00
Nicholas Owen 5.00
Saturday Night at the Movies
7.00 Cowan’s Classics 9.00
Turning Points 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Katie
Breathwick 4.00 Jane Jones
28 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Sunday 18 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice
The Good Karma Hospital
ITV, 9pm
The Indian-set drama
(described by The Times’s
Andrew Billen as “a spoonful
of Wild at Heart, a pinch of The
Royal and a firm dollop of The
Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”)
returns for a second series.
Despite being derivative, it
has an easy charm,
surprisingly gritty storylines
and consolidated viewing
figures of about 6.7 million.
Shot in Kerala, it follows the
exploits of Dr Ruby Walker
(Amrita Acharia, pictured), a
junior doctor who left behind
heartache in Blighty to work
in an eccentric hospital in
southern India. Amanda
Redman is the hospital boss,
Dr Lydia Fonseca: worldweary, competent and terse,
where Ruby is inexperienced
and slightly gauche, but with
backbone when needed.
The supporting cast includes
romantic foils for the female
leads — James Floyd as Dr
Gabriel Varma, an impassive
surgeon with whom Ruby
had a will-they-won’t-they
entanglement, and Lydia’s
on-off beau, the wideboy
bar owner Greg McConnell,
played by Neil Morrissey.
At the end of the first series
Ruby sent her ex back
to the UK alone, raising the
prospect of more sparks
flying between her and Dr
Varma over the operating
table, while Lydia and Greg
decided to give their
relationship a proper go.
Against this backdrop of
soapy romance, the medical
cases provide the drama. In
tonight’s opener Kerala is
baking in a heatwave and
Lydia challenges Ruby to
work her first solo night shift.
Then a storm hits the town
and the medical skills of the
junior doctor are stretched
to breaking point.
Joe Clay
Further recommendations
Both series of Indian Summers, Paul Rutman’s period drama set
during the final days of the British Raj, are available on All4
Britain’s Polar
Bear Cub
The Durrells
Channel 4, 7pm
The Durrells returns for a third
series with a double bill. Like
the matriarch around whom
the series revolves, The
Durrells is a warm-hearted
creation with a steely core and
a mischievous twinkle. “We are
all happy,” writes Mrs D (Keeley
Hawes) in a letter to Aunt
Hermione. She has given up on
finding love; Larry is writing his
third novel; Lesley has a
girlfriend (in fact, he has three);
Margot has ditched Zoltan; and
Gerry . . . well, Gerry has added a
flamingo to his menagerie.
Fans will be pleased to know
that the mood of contentment
doesn’t last long. See pick of
the week, page 23. JC
In January it was confirmed
that Victoria, the female polar
bear at the Highland Wildlife
Park in the Cairngorms, had
given birth to the first cub to
be born in the UK for 25 years.
Filmed over two years, this
documentary follows the
breeding programme at the
park as keepers try to mate
Victoria with a male called
Arktos, providing a fascinating
insight into the biology of polar
bears, how they mate and how
they raise their young. It also
explores the role that breeding
in captivity has to play in the
survival of the species. JC
Catch
up
More Dawn French’s
Boys Who Do Comedy
BBC iPlayer,
available
for a year
John Cleese is back
on the BBC in a
sitcom for the first
time in 43 years in
Charles McKeown’s
gentle comedy,
Hold the Sunset
(BBC One, 7.30pm),
channelling a
geriatric take on
Basil Fawlty — mildly
irked rather than full-
ITV, 8pm
throttle exasperation. On
iPlayer you can find Cleese
sharing his thoughts on
comedy with Dawn French in
2007. He was the first guest
on the second series of
French’s chummy chats, in
which he explains
how he was
sidetracked from
law into comedy
and lets slip a
moment of
Python rivalry
while discussing
his lack of
appreciation for
the Ministry of
Silly Walks. He
also reveals how
he used humour
to discipline his
children. Joe Clay
Famously Unfit
for Sport Relief
13 Commandments Films of the day
BBC Two, 9pm
Anyone requiring something
hard-boiled may want to give
this Belgian crime thriller a go.
However, you should be
forewarned — it’s brutally dark
and the Belgians obviously
didn’t get the memo that TV
audiences are tiring of
violence against women.
A self-proclaimed modern-day
Moses has committed a series
of gruesome crimes based
on the Ten Commandments
(think David Fincher’s Se7en)
to highlight the values that
have vanished from society.
He becomes a social media
sensation and it’s up to a jaded
cop and his plucky young
partner to hunt him down. JC
It’s Sport Relief 2018 on Friday,
but before the telethon, here’s
a documentary following four
celebrities — the entertainer
Les Dennis, the presenter
Susannah Constantine, the
EastEnders actress Tameka
Empson and the comedian
Miles Jupp — as they embark
on a gruelling mission to regain
their fitness, hopefully inspiring
the public to do likewise. We
follow the quartet, assisted by
the sports scientist Professor
Greg Whyte, over ten weeks as
they run, climb and swim their
way back to fitness, ending in
a muddy assault course. JC
Channel 4, 10pm
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
11.00am-12.15pm Sunday Politics Wales
3.35-4.05 Iolo’s Snowdonia (r)
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
5.45pm Hairy Bikers Namibian BBQ (r)
6.00 Scrum V Six Nations Special
7.00-8.00 Licence to Thrill: Paul
Hollywood Meets Aston Martin (r) 10.00
FILM A Little Chaos (2014) 11.50 Top
Gear: Extra Gear 12.15am Women’s Six
Nations Highlights 12.45-12.55 Coast (r)
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
11.00am-12.15pm Sunday Politics
Northern Ireland
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
10.00pm Hame 10.30-10.55 Sunday
Politics Northern Ireland (r)
● BBC1 Scotland As BBC One except:
11.00am-12.15pm Sunday Politics
Scotland 11.40 Sportscene (r) 12.40am
FILM The Sentinel (2006) 2.25 Weather
for the Week Ahead 2.30-6.00 BBC News
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
1.45pm Grand Tours of Scotland 2.00
Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago (r) 3.00
Money for Nothing (r) 4.00 The World’s
Most Extraordinary Homes (r) 5.00 Back
in Time for Tea (r) 6.00 Sportscene
7.00-8.00 River City (r)
● Channel As ITV except:
1.00am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 6.45pm-7.00
STV News 12.10am Teleshopping 1.10
After Midnight 2.40 ITV Nightscreen
5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 1.00am
Teleshopping 2.30-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 8.50 Penblwyddi Cyw
8.55 Pen-Blwydd Pwy? 9.00 Dal Ati: Dal
Alti: Dysgwr Y Flwyddyn/Pigion Cegin
Bryn (r) 10.00 Dal Alti: Dysgwr Y
Flwyddyn (r) 11.00 Rownd a Rownd (r)
11.30 Rownd a Rownd (r) 11.55 Calon: Ian
Huw (r) 12.00 Dechrau Canu Dechrau
Canmol (r) 12.30pm Gwen John: Y Daith
Olaf (r) 1.00 Perthyn (r) 1.30 Arfordir
Cymru: Sir Benfro (r) 2.00 Arfordir
Cymru: Sir Benfro (r) 2.30 Cegin Bryn (r)
3.00 Cegin Bryn (r) 3.30 Seiclo: Paris-Nice
(r) 4.30 Ralïo+ (r) 5.00 Ffermio (r) 5.30
News a Chwaraeon 5.40 Pobol y Cwm
Omnibws 7.30 Dechrau Canu Dechrau
Canmol 8.00 Divas Yr Eisteddfod.
Documentary 9.00 Parch 10.00 Y Byd ar
Bedwar (r) 10.30 Ward Plant (r)
11.00-11.35 Ffasiwn Mecanic (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Catch Me If You Can (12, 2002)
BBC Two, 5.45pm
Leonardo DiCaprio stars in Steven Spielberg’s slick comic caper as
the real-life conman Frank Abagnale Jr, a suave teenager who
travelled across America in the 1960s posing as a doctor, a lawyer,
a Pan Am pilot and a secret agent, successfully cashing millions of
dollars of fraudulent cheques as he went. Tom Hanks plays the FBI
man on his trail and there’s a neat, witty cameo from the real Frank
Abagnale Jr, playing a French police officer who arrests — who
else? — Frank Abagnale Jr. The film had a tortuous journey from
pitch to production. An adaptation was announced as long ago
as 1981, with Dustin Hoffman in the lead role. (141min) Wendy Ide
Brooklyn (12, 2015)
BBC One, 8.30pm
Saoirse Ronan’s expressive face
carries this tender romance
across the Atlantic, from
small-minded Enniscorthy
in Ireland to big-hearted New York.
Like all immigrants’ tales, the
journey has challenges. Doubts and
longings hover constantly in
Ronan’s grey-green eyes, then are quietly hidden inside, seen
only by the audience. Much goes unsaid in Nick Hornby’s script of
Colm Tóibín’s novel, but Brooklyn is an eloquent film as Ronan’s
character, Eilis, pictured, is taken under the wing of Father Flood
(Jim Broadbent) and landlady Mrs Kehoe (Julie Walters) before
finding possible romance with a New York boy (Emory Cohen,
who some critics compared to a young Marlon Brando) and, back
home, the local publican’s son (Domhnall Gleeson). (117min) WI
The Equalizer (15, 2014)
Channel 5, 9pm
Denzel Washington’s presence in the film version of the 1980s TV
series elevates a workmanlike piece from Antoine Fuqua. His lack
of coyness around bloodshed combined with Washington’s quiet
ruthlessness makes a potent film. Robert McCall is a man with a
past who works in a Boston home improvement depot like any
other middle-aged blue-collar loner, except for the insomnia that
sends him out to the local diner at 2am every night. There he is
in the habit of exchanging a few words with Teri (Chloë Grace
Moretz), a vulnerable young Russian prostitute. When she is
savagely beaten by her pimp, McCall acts. (132min) WI
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 29
1G R
Sunday 18
Also available online and on tablet
Digital subscribers can now use our interactive seven-day
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thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 7.25 Match of the
Day (r) 8.30 MOTD: FA Cup Highlights
(r) 9.00 The Andrew Marr Show 10.00
The Big Questions 11.00 Sunday
Politics 12.15pm Lifeline 12.25 Songs
of Praise 1.00 BBC News; Weather 1.15
Live MOTD: The FA Cup — Wigan
Athletic v Southampton (Kick-off
1.30). Coverage of the third quarterfinal match, which takes place at the
DW Stadium, as the League One side
look to cause another upset after
beating Manchester City in the last
round. 3.35 A Question of Sport (r)
4.05 Live MOTD: The FA Cup —
Leicester City v Chelsea (Kick-off
4.30). Gary Lineker presents all the
action from the FA Cup fourth
quarter-final, which takes place at the
King Power Stadium 6.35 BBC News
6.50 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.05am Coast (r) 7.05 The Instant
Gardener (r) 7.50 Gardeners’ World (r)
8.20 Countryfile (r) 9.15 Saturday
Kitchen Best Bites 10.45 Spring
Kitchen with Tom Kerridge (r) 11.30
Lorraine Pascale: How to Be a Better
Cook (r) 12.00 Escape to the Country
(r) 12.45pm The Ladykillers: Pest
Detectives. Imogen is called to one of
the worst infestations of clothes
moths she has ever seen (r) 1.45
Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago.
Seven famous faces tackle a medieval
pilgrimage (r) 2.45 Money for
Nothing. Sarah Moore transforms
items including a floral carpet
reclaimed from a tip (r) 3.45 The
World’s Most Extraordinary Homes.
Four extraordinary homes in Japan (r)
4.45 Back in Time for Tea. The Ellis
family reflects on the experience (r)
6.00am CITV 7.30 Scrambled! 9.25
ITV News 9.30 Love Your Garden (r)
10.00 Peston on Sunday 10.55 The
Voice UK (r) 12.55pm ITV News;
Weather 1.00 Ant & Dec’s Saturday
Night Takeaway (r) 2.30 What Would
Your Kid Do? Parents guess what their
children will do in a variety of
situations, with winners going
through to the final. Last in the series
(r) 3.30 The Harbour. The crowds
arrive for the Easter weekend and
Whitsun holidays, artist Naomi goes
out to sea to sketch, and Phil and the
lifeboat crew spring into action (r)
4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard
hosts the arcade-themed quiz show
(r) 5.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special
(r) 6.00 Paul O’Grady: For the Love
of Dogs (r) 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.45 Regional News; Weather
6.30am Everybody Loves Raymond
(r) 6.55 Everybody Loves Raymond (r)
7.25 Mobil 1: The Grid 8.00 Winter
Paralympics Breakfast 9.00 Frasier (r)
9.30 Sunday Brunch 12.30pm Winter
Paralympics Today 2.00 Live Winter
Paralympics Closing Ceremony. Rob
Walker, Ade Adepitan and Sean Rose
present coverage from Pyeongchang
Olympic Stadium in South Korea, as
the curtain is brought down on the
12th staging of the Games 3.15 FILM
Epic (U, 2013) A teenager is magically
shrunk and must save a kingdom of
miniature people from destruction.
Animated adventure with the voices
of Amanda Seyfried and Colin Farrell
5.15 The Great Celebrity Bake Off for
Stand Up to Cancer. With Nick Hewer,
Stacey Solomon, Ricky Wilson and
Perri Kiely (r) 6.30 Channel 4 News
6.00am Milkshake! 10.00 Football
on 5: The Championship (r) 10.55
Football on 5: Goal Rush (r) 11.25 FILM
Getting Even with Dad (PG, 1994)
Family comedy starring Macaulay
Culkin and Ted Danson 1.30pm FILM
Richie Rich (PG, 1994) A super-rich
youngster tries to stop his arch-rival
stealing a fortune from his billionaire
parents. Comedy starring Macaulay
Culkin 3.15 FILM My Girl (PG, 1991) A
tomboy finds a way to cope with her
mother’s death and her father’s new
romance, with the help of her friend.
Drama starring Anna Chlumsky and
Macaulay Culkin 5.20 FILM Junior
(PG, 1994) A fertility expert pioneers
a treatment enabling men to become
pregnant and decides to test it on
himself. Comedy starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito
Wigan Athletic’s Will Grigg (1.15pm)
A love letter to the Citroën 2CV (8pm)
Keeley Hawes in The Durrells (8pm)
Britain’s Polar Bear Cub (7pm)
Family drama My Girl (3.15pm)
7.00 Countryfile Ellie Harrison
assesses the effects of recent
storms on Pembrokeshire’s
coastline, while Adam Henson
travels to Scotland’s Rural
College to explore farming’s
impact on global warming
5.45 FILM Catch Me If You Can (12,
2002) A conman hustles his
way across the US, posing as a
pilot, a doctor and a lawyer,
while outwitting the FBI at
every turn. Fact-based drama
starring Leonardo DiCaprio.
See Film Choice
7.00 Celebrity Catchphrase Stephen
Mulhern hosts a special edition
of the guessing game,
in which Chris Kamara, Stacey
Solomon and Catherine
Tyldesley compete to identify
a series of well-known phrases
7.00 Britain’s Polar Bear Cub Behind
the scenes at the Highland
Wildlife Park near Kingussie,
following efforts to breed the
nation’s first polar bear cub
for 25 years as keepers mate
Arktos with Victoria. See
Viewing Guide
8.00 Hold the Sunset Bob suggests
that Roger applies to become
his mother’s paid carer (5/6)
8.00 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc tests the
world’s fastest-accelerating car,
Chris Harris pens a heartfelt
love letter to the Citroën 2CV,
while Rory Reid samples some
exciting cars from South Korea.
Dara O Briain and Ed Byrne
are the studio guests (4/6)
8.00 The Durrells New series. The
family is surprised to find out
that Leslie has three girlfriends,
so Louisa takes it upon herself
to help him pick one by having
each member of the family
invite one girl to tea. See
Viewing Guide (1/8)
8.00 Escape to the Château
New series. Series following
a family’s efforts to restore a
French château. In the first
edition, Dick Strawbridge and
Angel Adoree have their hands
full as they prepare to host
seven wedding ceremonies (1/3)
9.00 Famously Unfit for Sport Relief
The entertainer Les Dennis,
the comedian Miles Jupp,
the presenter Susannah
Constantine and the actress
Tameka Empson embark on a
mission to regain their fitness.
See Viewing Guide
9.00 The Good Karma Hospital New
series. Ruby encounters new
challenges as a heatwave hits
Kerala, while Lydia decides she
is ready for her first solo night
shift. See Viewing Guide (1/6)
9.00 Homeland Carrie puts a plan in
motion, Saul visits a source and
Keane makes a desperate plea.
Espionage drama, starring
Claire Danes, Mandy Patinkin
and Elizabeth Marvel (5/12)
10.00 The Mash Report Satirical news
show with Nish Kumar (3/4) (r)
10.05 ITV News
10.05 13 Commandments New series.
A provincial Belgian town is
rocked by the murder of a
16-year-old girl and the case
soon takes a shocking turn.
Crime thriller starring
Dirk Van Dijck. In Flemish.
See Viewing Guide (1/13)
8.30 FILM Brooklyn (12, 2015)
An Irish woman living with her
mother in the 1950s decides to
make a fresh start in America.
She makes her home in New
York, and falls in love. However,
her past catches up with her
when she receives bad news
from Ireland, and faces a harsh
choice between her two homes.
Drama starring Saoirse Ronan
and Domhnall Gleeson.
See Film Choice
10.10 BBC News
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
10.40Paddy McGuinness’ Sport
Relief Warm Up The comedian
rows, walks and jogs from
his home to the Sport Relief
studio in Salford
11.40 FILM The Sentinel (12, 2006)
A secret service agent is framed
for murder as he tries to expose
Nazi militant who has
a neo-N
infiltrated the White House. Spy
thriller with Michael Douglas,
Kiefer Sutherland, Eva Longoria,
Kim Basinger and David Rasche
1.20am Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.25 BBC News
10.30 Top Gear: Extra Gear With Colin
Turkington and Brennan Reece
10.55 Women’s Six Nations
Highlights Action from the final
round of Six Nations fixtures,
including England v Ireland
11.25 FILM Being Blacker (15, 2018)
Documentary about Blacker
Dread, a reggae producer,
businessman, father, son and
pillar of the community
12.55am Sign Zone: Question Time.
David Dimbleby chairs the debate
from Dover (r) (SL) 1.55-2.55 Holby
City. Roxanna tries to cure Oliver,
and Donna and Fletch race to save
Ric when they discover a possible
clue to his case (r) (SL)
10.20 Peston on Sunday Political
magazine, presented by Robert
Peston, with Allegra Stratton (r)
11.15 Six Nations Highlights
Jill Douglas presents action
from the final fixtures, featuring
England v Ireland, Wales v
France and Italy v Scotland
11.00 FILM Solace (15, 2015) A
psychic helps the FBI to identify
a serial killer, but realises the
murderer has mental powers of
his own. Crime thriller starring
Anthony Hopkins, Colin Farrell
and Jeffrey Dean Morgan
12.10am Marcella. Phil heads to
Marcella’s house — where Edward is
home alone — to exact his revenge on
her (r) 1.00 Jackpot247 3.00 Take on
the Twisters. Quiz hosted by Julia
Bradbury (r) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.55am The Last Leg (r) 1.50 The
Job Interview (r) 2.45 KOTV Boxing
Weekly 3.25 Gillette World Sport 3.55
Channel 4 Dispatches (r) (SL) 4.25
Location, Location, Location
(r) 5.20 Food Unwrapped (r) 5.45
Kirstie’s Homemade Home (r)
7.20 FILM Jumper (12, 2008)
A man discovers he has the
ability to teleport, a talent he
cleverly exploits to rob banks
undetected while living a life
of luxury. However, he soon
learns he is nott the onlly one
with this power — and that a
secret society of religious
fanatics is determined to wipe
him out. Fantasy thriller, with
Hayden Christensen, Samuel
L Jackson and Jamie Bell
8.55 5 News Weekend Headlines
9.00 FILM The Equalizer (15, 2014)
A retired secret agent applies
his talents to the task of
helping victims of injustice.
When he witnesses a prostitute
being beaten up by a pimp, he
kills the man, an act that draws
him into a battle to the death
with a Russian crime syndicate.
Action thriller based on the
TV series, starring Denzel
Washington, Chloe Grace
Moretz and Marton Csokas.
See Film Choice
11.35 FILM The Expendables 2 (15,
2012) Thriller sequel starring
Sylvester Stallone and
Jean-Claude Van Damme
1.35am SuperCasino 3.10 Cowboy
Builders. The experts attend a job in
Kidderminster (r) 4.00 World’s Most
Pampered Pets. A disco designed for
dogs (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r)
(SL) 5.10 House Busters (r) (SL)
5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
30 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Winston Churchill
Sunday 18 | Primetime digital guide
The influence of painting
on the politician’s career is
explored by Andrew Marr
BBC Four, 9pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Only Connect (R)
7.30 University Challenge
Student quiz (R)
8.00 Ancient Greece: The
Greatest Show on Earth
Michael Scott looks at the
prevalence of theatre in
Greece as Athens began to
decline during the fourth
century BC (2/3) (R)
9.00 Andrew Marr on Churchill:
Blood, Sweat and Oil Paint
The broadcaster looks at
Winston Churchill’s lifelong
love for painting and reveals
the ways in which his hobby
helped shape his career as
politician and statesman (R)
10.00 FILM 13 Minutes (15, 2015)
Fact-based drama telling the
story of Georg Elser’s failed
attempt to assassinate
Hitler. Stars Christian Friedel
11.45-12.45am The Riviera: A
History in Pictures Part one
of two. Artists who painted
on the Côte d’Azur (1/2) (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote
Jessica and old friend Dr
Seth Hazlitt are kidnapped
by the son of a mobster (R)
8.00 Paul O’Grady: For the Love
of Dogs Paul and the staff
get the dogs ready for a visit
from the Queen (8/8) (R)
8.30 Paul O’Grady: For the Love
of Dogs The comedian
meets a Dalmatian that can
open locked doors (9/11) (R)
9.00 Joanna Lumley’s TransSiberian Adventure The
actress takes in the varied
sights of Mongolia during
the second leg of her
journey, visiting the nation’s
capital — Ulan Bator — and
meeting Mongolian
throat-singers (2/3) (R)
10.00-12.30am FILM The Theory
of Everything (12, 2014)
Biopic of Stephen Hawking
starring Eddie Redmayne,
Felicity Jones, Christian
McKay and David Thewlis
6.55pm Come Dine with Me
A vegetarian hosts the
fourth night of the contest
in Milton Keynes (R)
7.25 Come Dine with Me
A salesman hosts the final
party in Milton Keynes (R)
7.55 Grand Designs New
Zealand A couple plan
to build a penthouse
apartment with a Balineseinspired rooftop garden
9.00 Father Ted A football match
leads to trouble for Ted (R)
9.35 Father Ted Cheating at the
football backfires on Ted (R)
10.05 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown With
guests Sarah Millican, Bill
Bailey, Rob Delaney, Paul
Foot, Romesh Ranganathan
and Nina Conti (R)
11.10-12.15am Very British
Problems Celebrities share
their comic observations on
the behaviour of British
people at school (R)
6.50pm FILM Crocodile Dundee II
(PG, 1988) The Australian
adventurer lures the drug
dealers who kidnapped his
girlfriend to the Outback
for a showdown. Comedy
adventure sequel starring
Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski
and Charles S Dutton
9.00 FILM Terminator Genisys
(12, 2015) A time traveller
sent on a rescue mission
discovers a plot to change
history beyond recognition.
Sci-fi adventure starring
Arnold Schwarzenegger
and Emilia Clarke
11.25-1.40am FILM The King’s
Speech (12, 2010) The
stammering son of
George V seeks the help of
an eccentric Australian
speech therapist as he rises
suddenly to the throne.
Fact-based drama with Colin
Firth, Geoffrey Rush and
Helena Bonham Carter
7.00pm The Simpsons Homer is
appointed bodyguard to
Mayor Quimby (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer takes
Ned to Las Vegas (R)
8.00 MacGyver The LAPD
interrupts the team’s
Christmas celebration to
arrest Angus for terrorism
when they find a body in a
building destroyed by a
bomb he constructed
9.00 Hawaii Five-0 It is Christmas
Eve and Danny tells Charlie
a story about a recent
Five-0 case involving bad
Santas and a holiday miracle
10.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
A ransomware cyber
attack paralyses the city
11.00 The Blacklist Red hunts for
a fabled stash of money (R)
12.00-1.00am The Force:
Manchester Documentary
series following the daily
work of officers in Greater
Manchester (1/10) (R)
7.00pm Blue Bloods Danny tries to
juggle work and his love life
as he spends a weekend
with Linda while keeping an
eye on an investigation (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Jamie and
Renzulli are prevented from
entering a church by its
security team, and when the
confrontation turns violent,
Frank’s diplomatic skills
are put to the test (R)
9.00 Save Me Residents of The
Towers come out in force to
stage a reconstruction of
Jody’s abduction, and Claire
becomes suspicious of
Barry’s reward offer (3/6) (R)
10.00 Real Time with Bill Maher
The comedian invites three
guests from across the
political spectrum to discuss
the week’s events
11.10-12.10am Britannia The
situation seems increasingly
hopeless for Kerra at the
Cantil citadel (9/9) (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm FILM The Mummy: Tomb
of the Dragon Emperor (12, 2008)
A family of explorers battles an evil
emperor who has risen from his
tomb to take over the world.
Fantasy starring Brendan Fraser
9.00 Ibiza Weekender The lives of
reps and revellers on the holiday
island. Last in the series
10.00 Family Guy
10.30 Family Guy
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 American Dad!
11.55-12.25am American Dad!
6.10pm FILM On Her Majesty’s
Secret Service (PG, 1969) James
Bond is sent to track down master
criminal and arch-enemy Blofeld.
Adventure with George Lazenby
9.00 FILM Windtalkers (15, 2002)
A traumatised American soldier
is assigned to protect two Navajo
code-carriers during the invasion
of Saipan. Second World War
drama starring Nicolas Cage
11.50-1.55am FILM Above the Law
(18, 1988) Thriller starring Steven
Seagal and Sharon Stone
6.50pm FILM School of Rock (PG,
2003) A slobbish guitarist posing
as a supply teacher to make money
after getting dumped by his band
moulds his pupils into a new rock
group. Comedy starring Jack Black
9.00 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD
Coulson and the team discover
exactly what their captors’ true
intentions are — but in space,
escape is not an option
10.00-12.10am FILM 2 Guns (15,
2013) Adventure starring Denzel
Washington and Mark Wahlberg
7.00pm Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away Two agents make a shocking
discovery in a bedroom (1/10)
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
An egent tackles the case of a debt
owed by an ex-footballer (2/10)
9.00 FILM Green Lantern (12, 2011)
A pilot joins a peacekeeping force
to defend Earth from an alien
attack. Sci-fi adventure starring
Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively
11.15-1.10am FILM Silent Hill:
Revelation (15, 2012) Horror
sequel starring Adelaide Clemens
6.00pm FILM Campbell’s
Kingdom (U, 1957) A man tries to
prove his grandfather’s claim that
there is oil on his family’s land.
Adventure starring Dirk Bogarde
8.00 A Family at War Drama set
during the Second World War
9.00 The Human Jungle Dr Corder
must settle a dispute over whether
a dead man was of sound mind
when he made his will (7/13)
10.00-12.15am FILM Conspiracy
of Hearts (U, 1960) Second World
War drama starring Lilli Palmer
7.00pm Mercy Street New series.
The staff unite to try to save one
of their own, and a former slave
turned activist arrives in town
8.00 Maisie Raine Maisie plans an
operation to infiltrate a highly
professional ring of car thieves
9.00 Taggart An informant is due
to give evidence against his former
boss — a powerful gang leader
11.50-2.00am Silent Witness
Feature-length episode. A police
raid at a house sees two suspected
terrorists and a policeman killed
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Bob Monkhouse: Million
Joke Man Paul O’ Grady presents a
look at the comedian’s career (3/3)
8.00 Auf Wiedersehen, Pet The
lads cause outrage after turning
up at the wrong Spanish villa
9.00 Auf Wiedersehen, Pet Two
tabloid reporters pursue the lads
10.00 Auf Wiedersehen, Pet Ally’s
dealings take a turn for the worse
11.00 Armada: 12 Days to Save
England The circumstances that
led to the Armada’s defeat (3/3)
12.00-1.00am Inquisition (3/4)
7.00pm FILM Five Card Stud (PG,
1968) Western mystery starring
Dean Martin and Robert Mitchum
9.00 FILM The Last of the
Mohicans (15, 1992) A man falls for
a British officer’s daughter who is
being hunted by a vengeful war
chief. Adventure starring Daniel
Day-Lewis and Madeleine Stowe
11.10-1.30am FILM Geronimo:
An American Legend (15, 1993)
A Native American warrior leads
a rebellion against white settlers.
Western starring Wes Studi
7.00pm Cop Car Workshop
Dave has a BMW X5 armed
response vehicle build to oversee
8.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad
Documentary following the work
of the Staffordshire Police force
9.00 Have I Got a Bit More
Election News for You With guests
Alan Johnson and Ross Noble
10.00 Unspun with Matt Forde
Political comedy recorded the day
before airing. Last in the series
10.30 Live at the Apollo
11.30-12.10am Room 101
5.55pm Julius Caesar’s Greatest
Battle The Battle of Alesia
7.10 Rome: What Lies Beneath?
Dan Snow uses satellite technology
to reveal the secrets of the Roman
Empire and tracks down lost cities
9.00 Ancient Rome: The Rise and
Fall of an Empire How emperor
Nero’s obsession with becoming a
god drove him to madness (1/6)
10.15 Ancient Rome: The Rise
and Fall of an Empire (2/6)
11.25-12.35am Ancient Rome: The
Rise and Fall of an Empire (3/6)
7.00pm Portrait Artist of the Year
2018 The model Lily Cole and the
actor Simon Callow are the famous
sitters for the semi-final (9/11)
8.00 Tarzan: The Man Behind the
Legend A look at the evolution of
the character from its creation by
Edgar Rice Burroughs in 1912
9.00 Black Sabbath: The End The
rock band’s last gig at the Genting
Arena in Birmingham in 2017
11.20-12.35am Saxon at Wacken
2014 The English heavy metal
band perform at the music festival
7.00pm America’s Next Top Model
Reality challenge series (9/12)
8.00 Chicago Fire Casey and
Severide make the front page after
carrying out a heroic rescue
9.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers
A profile of child killer Roy Whiting
10.00 Criminal Minds The BAU is
called to investigate a series of
murders in Washington DC
11.00 Criminal Minds A serial killer
begins to target women at a
college in Flagstaff, Arizona
12.00-1.00am Criminal Minds
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 American Dad!
9.30 American Dad!
10.00 The Walking Dead Daryl
finds himself in bad company
11.00 American Dad!
11.30 American Dad!
12.00-12.30am Family Guy
7.00pm Deadliest Catch
8.00 Tesla’s Death Ray: A Murder
Declassified The team investigates
the site of Tesla’s former laboratory
9.00 Blowing Up History Human
remains tell the story of a new
religion that changed Egypt
10.00 How the Universe Works
11.00-12.30am Gold Rush
7.00pm Car SOS
8.00 FILM Jane (PG, 2017)
Documentary charting the life
of primatologist Jane Goodall,
whose research challenged the
scientific consensus of her time
10.00 Chain of Command
11.00 Car SOS
12.00-1.00am Car SOS
6.00pm FILM A Cinderella Story
(PG, 2004) Comedy starring Hilary
Duff and Chad Michael Murray
8.00 Friends Double bill
9.00 FILM Mr & Mrs Smith (15,
2005) Comedy with Angelina Jolie
11.15 Michael McIntyre’s Showtime
Stand-up comedy
12.15am-12.40 Lip Sync Battle
6.35pm Only Fools and Horses
8.20 Only Fools and Horses
9.00 The Royle Family
9.40 The Royle Family The gang
gathers for David’s christening
10.20 Bottom
11.00 Men Behaving Badly
11.40-12.20am Men Behaving
Badly Tony has a decision to make
7.00pm Inside the Ambulance
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Louis Theroux: By Reason
of Insanity Part one of two. Louis
visits Ohio’s maximum security
state psychiatric hospitals
10.20 999 Rescue Squad
11.20-12.20am Motorway Cops:
A Traffic Cops Special
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
7.00pm Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) Mechanic Cade
Yeager continues his fight against
the evil Decepticons in a battle
which takes him to England.
Fantasy starring Mark Wahlberg
9.40 Inconceivable (15, 2017) A
mother tries to escape her abusive
past by moving to a new town.
Thriller starring Gina Gershon,
Faye Dunaway and Nicolas Cage
11.30-1.15am It Comes At Night (15,
2017) Horror thriller starring Joel
Edgerton and Christopher Abbott
5.20pm The Guns of Navarone
(PG, 1961) Allied soldiers are sent
to sabotage German artillery
emplacements. Second World War
adventure with Gregory Peck,
David Niven and Anthony Quinn
8.00 The Blues Brothers (15, 1980)
Two criminal brothers re-form their
band to raise the funds to save
their orphanage. Comedy starring
John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd
10.15-12.20am Jarhead (15, 2005)
Gulf War drama starring Jake
Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard
7.00pm Cloudy with a Chance of
Meatballs (U, 2009) Animated
comedy, featuring the voices
of Bill Hader and Anna Faris
8.40 Jurassic Park III (PG, 2001)
Dr Alan Grant is lured to a
dinosaur-infested island by a
divorced couple searching for their
missing son. Adventure sequel
with Sam Neill and William H Macy
10.20-12.45am Chitty Chitty Bang
Bang (U, 1968) Children’s musical
adventure starring Dick Van Dyke,
Lionel Jeffries and Gert Frobe
7.00pm Top Gun (12, 1986) An
arrogant pilot causes conflict when
he joins an elite US Navy fighter
school, and falls for his civilian
instructor. Aerial action adventure
with Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis
9.00 Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2
(12, 2017) The team must fight to
stay together as they unravel the
mystery surrounding Peter Quill’s
father. Fantasy starring Chris Pratt
11.30-1.30am 300 (15, 2006) The
king of Sparta leads 300 warriors
into battle. With Gerard Butler
5.55pm Valkyrie (12, 2008)
Fact-based thriller, recreating the
1944 plot by a conspiracy of rebel
German officers to assassinate
Adolf Hitler. Starring Tom Cruise
8.00 Zodiac (15, 2007) Fact-based
crime thriller following the hunt
for a serial killer who terrorised
San Francisco in the late 1960s
and early 1970s. Starring Jake
Gyllenhaal and Robert Downey Jr
10.40-12.50am Donnie Brasco (18,
1997) Fact-based drama starring
Johnny Depp and Al Pacino
Eddie Redmayne and Felicity
Jones star in The Theory of
Everything (ITV3, 10pm)
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 31
1G R
Sunday 18
Sports guide
Live Rugby Union
BT Sport 1, 2.30pm
Radio 1
No Welsh representation in
the Anglo-Welsh Cup final this
year as Bath and Exeter Chiefs
face off at the Kingsholm
Stadium (kick-off 3pm). Both
sides reached the final after
tough semi-final encounters —
Bath squeezed past
Northampton Saints 13-12,
while Exeter defeated
Newcastle Falcons 20-17, with
Joe Simmonds, pictured,
scoring a try, as well as
kicking two penalties. JC
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.00am Weekend Breakfast
10.00 Jordan North 1.00pm
Matt Edmondson 4.00 Cel
Spellman and Katie Thistleton
6.00 Most Played 7.00 Daniel
P Carter 10.00 Phil Taggart
1.00am Monki 3.00 Artist
Takeover 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
BT Sport 1
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
7.30am LIVE ICC Cricket
World Cup Qualifier
Coverage of a qualifier
11.30 LIVE EFL: Derby County
v Cardiff City (Kick-off 12.00)
2.15pm LIVE SPFL:
Motherwell v Celtic
(Kick-off 2.15)
4.45 LIVE PGA Tour Golf: The
Arnold Palmer Invitational
8.00-10.00 LIVE ATP Masters
Tennis The men’s final of
the BNP Paribas Open
10.30-1.00am LIVE LPGA
Tour Golf: The Founders Cup
11.30am-1.30pm LIVE Serie A:
Sampdoria v Inter Milan
(Kick-off 11.30)
2.30-5.30 LIVE Anglo-Welsh
Cup: Bath v Exeter Chiefs
(Kick-off 3.00)
7.30-9.45 LIVE Serie A: Napoli
v Genoa (Kick-off 7.45)
10.00-12.30am LIVE NBA:
New Orleans Pelicans v
Boston Celtics (Tip-off 10.00)
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
11.30am LIVE EFL: Derby
County v Cardiff City
(Kick-off 12.00)
2.15pm-4.45 LIVE SPFL:
Motherwell v Celtic
(Kick-off 2.15)
5.25-7.30 LIVE La Liga
Football: Villarreal v Atletico
Madrid (Kick-off 5.30)
7.40 LIVE La Liga Football:
Real Madrid v Girona
9.45-11.05 LIVE MLS: FC
Dallas v Seattle Sounders
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
7.15am-3.30pm LIVE ICC
Cricket World Cup Qualifier
Coverage of a qualifier
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
4.30pm LIVE PGA Tour Golf:
The Arnold Palmer
Invitational
10.00-1.00am LIVE LPGA
Tour Golf: The Founders Cup
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
11.25am-1.15pm LIVE Top 14
Rugby Union: Castres v Brive
(Kick-off 11.30)
3.45-5.35 LIVE Top 14 Rugby
Union: Toulouse v
Montpellier (Kick-off 3.50)
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
8.00pm-10.00 LIVE ATP
Masters Tennis The men’s
final of the BNP Paribas Open
Radio guide
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
6.00am-8.00 LIVE Hyundai
A-League: Melbourne Victory
v Central Coast Mariners
(Kick-off 6.00)
9.45-10.30 LIVE
Motorcycling: Asia Talent
Cup Race two from the Asia
Talent Cup in Qatar
12.15pm LIVE MotoGP
The Qatar Grand Prix Moto3
race (Start-time 1.00)
2.00 LIVE MotoGP The Qatar
Grand Prix Moto2 race
(Start-time 2.20)
3.30-5.00 LIVE MotoGP The
MotoGP Grand Prix of Qatar
(Start-time 4.00)
6.00-8.30 LIVE WTA Tennis
The final of the prestigious
BNP Paribas Open at
Indian Wells
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
12.30pm LIVE Bundesliga:
Borussia Dortmund v
Hannover 96 (Kick-off 12.30)
2.30-4.30 LIVE Bundesliga:
FC Cologne v Bayer
Leverkusen (Kick-off 2.30)
5.00-7.00 LIVE Bundesliga:
RB Leipzig v Bayern Munich
(Kick-off 5.00)
7.45-10.00 LIVE Ligue 1:
Marseille v Lyon
(Kick-off 8.00)
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
8.30am LIVE Alpine Skiing
9.30 LIVE Alpine Skiing
10.30 LIVE Biathlon
11.45 LIVE Alpine Skiing
12.15pm LIVE Alpine Skiing
1.15 LIVE Biathlon
3.15-5.15 LIVE Ski Jumping
The HS225 individual
competition from Vikersund
in Norway
5.00am Huey on Sunday 6.00
Good Morning Sunday 9.00
Steve Wright 11.00 Michael Ball
1.00pm Elaine Paige 3.00
Johnnie Walker 5.00 Paul
O’Grady 7.00 Claudia 9.00
Clare Teal 11.00 Don Black
12.00 Sounds of the 60s (r)
2.00am Radio 2 Playlists
Today’s picks
Sunday Feature:
Blind, Black and Blue
Radio 3, 6.45pm
From Our Home
Correspondent
Radio 4, 1.30pm
It sounds like a rather niche
category: blind, black bluesmen.
But, as Gary O’Donoghue
explains, not so. A hundred
years ago in the Deep South
there was Blind Willie Johnson,
pictured, Blind Lemon Jefferson,
not to mention (and you may be
noticing a theme) Blind Boy Fuller. How, asks O’Donoghue,
a journalist who is blind, did they overcome all the numerous
obstacles in the Jim Crow-era South to become blues stars?
Well, this argues, they didn’t sing the blues in spite of these
difficulties; they sang them because of them. Music was one
of the few careers available, so the blues provided a way of
articulating and alleviating this misery. These men had grown
America’s crops, fought its wars and were still called “boy”. As
one of the (many excellent) interviewees puts it, the blues was
a way of saying: when will I become a man? Catherine Nixey
From Our Own Correspondent
is so often so cringey. Like
Victorian travellers, the
presenters have a tendency
to praise the twinkling eyes
and happy smiles of the
natives they encounter. So it’s
a relief to have the de haut en
bas reporting style turned
back on ourselves with this
programme, presented by
Mishal Husain. This week the
intrepid reporters will be
speaking to natives in this
country in Cornwall, Wales
and elsewhere. One can only
hope that their eyes will be
nice and twinkly. CN
8.00 Sunday Papers
8.10 Sunday Worship
8.48 A Point of View (r)
8.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
9.00 Broadcasting House
10.00 The Archers (r)
11.15 Desert Island Discs
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Just a Minute (r)
12.30 The Food Programme
1.00 The World This Weekend
1.30 From Our Home
Correspondent. See Choice
2.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time Horticultural tips (r)
2.45 The Listening Project (r)
3.00 Drama: The Mysteries of
Udolpho Ann Radcliffe’s novel
4.00 News Headlines
4.02 Open Book
4.30 Poetry Please
5.00 File on 4 (r)
5.40 Profile (r)
5.54 Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.15 Pick of the Week
7.00 The Archers
Clarrie fears the worst
7.15 In and Out of the Kitchen
Comedy (r)
7.45 Man About the House (r)
8.00 Feedback (r)
8.30 Last Word (r)
9.00 Money Box (r)
9.26 Radio 4 Appeal (r)
9.30 Analysis (r)
10.00 The Westminster Hour
11.00 The Film Programme (r)
11.30 Something Understood
Life’s big questions (r)
12.00 News Headlines
12.15am Thinking Allowed (r)
12.45 Bells on Sunday (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Newsroom 11.30 Boston
Calling 12.00 News 12.06pm
Global Questions 1.00
Newshour 2.00 News 2.06
Live at the Oxford Literary
Festival 3.00 News 3.06 Live
at the Oxford Literary
Festival 4.00 News 4.06
Sportsworld 5.00 News 5.06
Sportsworld 6.00 News 6.06
Sportsworld 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Living with
the Gods 7.50 More or Less
8.00 News 8.06 Global Beats
9.00 Newshour 10.00 The
Newsroom 10.20 Sports
News 10.30 Heart and Soul
11.00 News 11.06 The History
Hour 12.00 News 12.06am
The Arts Hour 1.00 News
1.06 Business 1.30 Outlook
2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 Healthcheck
3.00 News 3.06 HARDtalk
3.30 The Conversation 4.00
News 4.06 Trending 4.30
The Cultural Frontline
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
7.00am Breakfast
9.00 News
9.03 Sunday Morning
12.00 Private Passions
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Mozart
and Shostakovich (r)
2.00 The Early Music Show
Hannah French seeks the
inspiration behind Debussy’s
Hommage a Rameau
3.00 Choral Evensong
Recorded in the Chapel of
Eton College. Introit: Adoro te
devote (Cecilia McDowall).
Office Hymn: O Kind Creator
Bow Thine Ear (plainsong).
Canticles: Service for Trebles
(Weelkes). Anthem: Media Vita
(Sheppard). Hymn: Ah, Holy
Jesus (Herzliebster Jesu).
Organ Voluntary: Voluntary in
A minor (Benjamin Cosyn). (r)
4.00 Choir and Organ
5.00 The Listening Service
5.30 Words and Music
6.45 Sunday Feature: Blind,
Black and Blue. See Choice
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert The
Oslo Philharmonic Orchestra.
Schumann (Overture,
Scherzo and Finale, Op 52;
Cello Concerto in A minor, Op
129; Symphony No 1 in B flat,
Op 38 “Spring”)
9.00 Drama on 3: A Human
Being Died That Night Drama
10.25 Early Music Late
11.30 Charles Villiers Stanford
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Bells on Sunday
5.45 Lent Talks (r)
6.00 News Headlines
6.05 Something Understood
6.35 Living World (r)
7.00 News Headlines
7.00 Sunday Papers
7.10 Sunday
7.55 Radio 4 Appeal
8.00 News Headlines
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am 5 Live Science 6.00
Breakfast 9.00 SportsWeek
10.00 Pienaar’s Politics 11.00 5
Live Investigates 12.00 5 Live
Sport. FA Cup quarter-finals
6.00pm Live 6-0-6 7.30 Peter
Allen and Caroline Barker
10.00 Stephen Nolan
1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am Fisherman’s Blues
7.00 Georgie Bingham and
Tony Cascarino 11.00 Warm
Up 1.00pm Live Sunday
Exclusive 7.00 The Final
Word 10.00 Trans Europe
Express 1.00am Extra Time
with Will Gavin
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Ray’s a Laugh 8.30
Harry Worth in Things Could
Be Worse 9.00 The Railways:
Nation, Network and People
Omnibus 10.10 The Listening
Project 10.15 Desert Island
Discs Revisited 11.00 Podcast
Radio Hour 12.00 Ray’s a
Laugh 12.30pm Harry Worth
in Things Could Be Worse
1.00 The Old Curiosity Shop
Omnibus: Part Two 2.15 After
Life 2.30 The Past Omnibus:
Part Two 3.45 The BBC and All
That 4.00 Before the Fact
5.00 Poetry Extra: Stanza on
Stage 5.30 John Finnemore’s
Souvenir Programme 6.00
The World of Daphne Du
Maurier 6.30 Space Force
7.00 Podcast Radio Hour
8.00 The Railways: Nation,
Network and People Omnibus
9.10 The Listening Project 9.15
Desert Island Discs Revisited
10.00 Comedy Club: John
Finnemore’s Souvenir
Programme 10.30 Meet David
Sedaris 10.55 The Interview
11.00 Newsjack 11.30 2000
Years of Radio 11.45 Quando,
Quando, Quando 12.00 The
World of Daphne Du Maurier
12.30am Space Force
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The
Compass 9.30 Heart and Soul
10.00 News 10.06 From Our
Own Correspondent
10.30 Trending 10.50 Over to
You 11.00 News 11.06 The
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Mary Anne Hobbs
10.00 Cerys Matthews
1.00pm Paperback Writers
2.00 Guy Garvey’s Finest
Hour 4.00 Amy Lamé 6.00
Now Playing @6Music
8.00 Stuart Maconie
10.00 Don Letts 12.00 Guy
Garvey’s Finest Hour 2.00am
The BBC Introducing Mixtape
3.00 6 Music Live Hour 4.00
Lyrics By: With Murray
Lachlan Young
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
7.00am Aled Jones 10.00 Bill
Turnbull 1.00pm Alexander
Armstrong 3.00 Charlotte
Hawkins 5.00 The Classic FM
Chart 7.00 David Mellor
9.00 Everything You Ever
Wanted to Know About
Classical Music. Catherine
Bott discusses ballet
premieres 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
32 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Monday 19 | Viewing guide
BETTMANN ARCHIVE/GETTY IMAGES
Critic’s choice
The Funeral Murders
BBC Two, 9pm
The documentary film-maker
Vanessa Engle (Lefties, Jews,
Women) presents the
alarming tale of two Belfast
funerals that in March 1988
turned into murder scenes.
First we hear the story of the
well-attended funeral for “the
Gibraltar Three” (the trio of
IRA operatives killed by the
SAS in Gibraltar), when the
local police took the almost
unheard of step of standing
their men down, and where
lone gunman Michael Stone
shot and threw grenades at
mourners. Three days later
the funeral for one of those
mourners spiralled out of
control, leading to two British
soldiers being murdered by
the angry crowd. It’s a
considered treatment packed
with extraordinary footage —
Engle has unearthed video of
Gerry Adams grabbing the
microphone at the first
funeral, urging the crowd not
to panic as grenades detonate
in the distance. And when the
two officers are abducted by
being bundled into the back
of a taxi, we follow the car’s
journey by helicopter camera.
It’s most impressive in the
way that it teases out the
distrust and paranoia
surrounding the events (some
IRA members believe that
Stone was aided by the police,
and the two murdered British
soldiers died due to the belief
that they were undercover
SAS operatives targeting the
funeral), while showing the
understanding towards the
other side felt by Loyalists and
Republicans. As one IRA
interviewee puts it when asked
whose account to believe —
that of the Republicans or the
Loyalists: “You don’t believe
anyone. You listen to all
perspectives and you try to
understand them.”
Alexi Duggins
Further recommendations
Panorama tells the story of Freddie Scappaticci, the British army’s
most important spy during the Troubles (iPlayer, to April 11)
Classic Mary Berry Marcella
Electric Dreams
Imagine. . .
BBC One, 8.30pm
ITV, 9pm
Channel 4, 10pm
BBC One, 10.45pm
Not content with providing
cooking tips, this week the
former Bake Off judge offers
hints on how to arrange
flowers for a banqueting hall.
“It’s all about abundance,”
announces the florist Simon
Lycett as Mary Berry follows
him around Leeds Castle
before taking his ethos into the
kitchen. It’s intensely soothing,
although given Berry’s habit
of eating the food she has
cooked, her guests might not
be that impressed by the
abundance of her spread.
“Can I get that all in one go?
I’m going to,” she proclaims at
one point, hoisting a wedge of
roast duck into her mouth. AD
Emotions are running high as
the crime drama reaches its
second half with the police
closing in on the killer’s creepy
murder lab. Rav takes to
leaning on walls, panting and
wiping his eyes with the back
of his hand, while Marcella
(Anna Friel) stares out at the
London skyline, weeping her
mascara into oblivion. It’s
starting to look as though
the titular hero is being
reinvented as the series
progresses. As she undergoes
more therapy for her fugue
state, her formerly rude,
rage-filled nature is starting to
shift. Is it possible that she’s
actually quite a gentle soul? AD
It’s the final Philip K Dick
adaptation and we’re in a
futuristic America where
automation has removed
thousands of jobs and
shoppers are rewarded for
spending megabucks by
holograms that beam into their
houses to titillate them. As an
election (with one candidate,
played by Vera Farmiga)
becomes a witch hunt against
members of society deemed
“others”, the eerie, jittery
electronica ramps up and the
protagonist (Mel Rodriguez,
Getting On) clatters from one
confrontation with the
authorities to another. Tense,
thought-provoking viewing. AD
Andrew Lloyd Webber gets the
Alan Yentob treatment tonight,
as the creator of Jesus Christ
Superstar, Evita, Starlight
Express and Cats is interviewed
to coincide with the release
of his new autobiography,
Unmasked. Despite the book
coming in at more than 500
pages long, Unmasked only
manages to make it as far as
1986 and the first performance
of Phantom Of The Opera
(hence the title). Although
perhaps the tone for the
interview may be set by Lloyd
Webber’s explanation that: “I
meant to cram my memoirs
into one book but my verbosity
got in the way.” AD
Catch
up
Churchill’s Secret Affair
All4, to April 4
New evidence
suggests that in the
1930s Winston
Churchill plunged into
a reckless affair in
France with a highliving socialite, Doris
Castlerosse, the greataunt of today’s
socialite-du-jour Cara
Delevingne.
Castlerosse’s highsociety sex life
extended to an
affair with the
photographer Cecil Beaton,
who was supposed to be gay.
This documentary weaves
together the personal lives of
Churchill and Castlerosse, and
you may at first ask what the
point is of dragging Winnie’s
name through the mire.
However, it seems
Castlerosse threatened
blackmail just as
Churchill was
negotiating with
Roosevelt over Britain’s
wartime alliance with
America. If his
reputation had been
wrecked in the
dark days of 1942,
who knows how
things could have
turned out?
James Jackson
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
10.40pm Flex Lewis: Superstar
Bodybuilder. A Welshman’s mission to
win Mr Olympia 212 for the sixth time in a
row 11.45-12.15am Would I Lie to You?
With Alan Davies, Richard Osman,
Germaine Greer and Jermaine Jenas (r)
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
7.00pm Nature’s Weirdest Events. A
village invaded by billions of tiny crabs (r)
7.30-8.00 Britain’s Equal Pay Scandal:
Panorama 11.15-12.45am Imagine: Andrew
Lloyd Webber: Memories
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm True North: Tractor Mad. Jimmy
Doherty and Ciaran O’Rourke explore the
attraction of tractors 11.10 Imagine:
Andrew Lloyd Webber: Memories
12.40am-6.00 BBC News
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
1.00pm Live St Patrick’s Day Schools’ Cup
Finals. Coverage of the MacRory Cup and
Ulster Schools’ Cup finals 4.45-5.15
Women’s Six Nations Highlights (r)
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
9.00pm-10.00 Secrets of the Masons.
A glimpse into the normally closed world
of the Freemasons 11.15-12.15am The
Funeral Murders
● Channel As ITV except: 12.15am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● ITV Wales As ITV except: 10.50pm
Sharp End. Political discussion 11.20-11.45
Love Your Garden
● STV As ITV except: 10.35pm Scotland
Tonight 11.10 100 Years Younger in 21
Days (r) 12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After
Midnight. News and conversation 2.35
ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 12.15am
Teleshopping 2.15-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Teithiau Tramor Iolo (r)
12.30 Ar Werth (r) 1.00 Celwydd Noeth (r)
1.30 3 Lle: Adam Price (r) 2.00 News S4C
a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30
Dilyn y Don (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00
Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Mwy o Stwnsh Sadwrn
5.25 Pengwiniaid Madagascar (r) 5.45 Edi
Wyn (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05
Gwaith/Cartref (r) 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol
y Cwm 8.25 Perthyn 9.00 News 9 a’r
Tywydd 9.30 Ffermio 10.05-11.50 Clwb
Rygbi Rhyngwladol (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
The Train (PG, 1964)
Film4, 1.15pm
A pair of high-class performances power this Second World
War-set yarn: Burt Lancaster is French Resistance member
Paul Labiche pitched against Paul Scofield’s German colonel, Franz
von Waldheim, who is trying to move stolen art masterpieces by
train from France to Germany. Labiche is, of course, the hero in this
rail-bound tussle, but as Waldheim lambasts him: “A painting
means as much as you as a string of pearls to an ape. Beauty
belongs to the man who can appreciate it.” The film’s high-calibre
credentials also take in John Frankenheimer as director and
Maurice Jarre as composer of the score. (127min) James Jackson
Get Out (15, 2017)
Sky Movies Select, 8pm
There will be many filmgoers who
feel that this should have nabbed
the best picture Oscar (although it
did win best original screenplay for
its director, Jordan Peele). It’s a
tightly plotted, unpredictable
and unsettling film that upends the
usual expectations of a horror while
satirising middle-class white liberals.
The black British actor Daniel Kaluuya, pictured, plays Chris,
a New Yorker taken by his white girlfriend (Allison Williams)
to the mansion of her welcoming parents (Bradley Whitford and
Catherine Keener). But why is everyone acting so slightly off, not
least the zombie-like black servants? The revelation is horrific, but
everything here is underpinned by a knowing wit. (102min) JJ
Wish I Was Here (15, 2014)
Film4, 11.15pm
Zach Braff’s follow-up to his well-liked debut, Garden State,
has the same blend of wry humour and intense earnestness, as it
gazes into the naval of a mid-thirties identity crisis. Braff plays
Aidan Bloom, father of two and an aspiring actor. He can’t let go of
his thespian dream even though he hasn’t earned a bean in ages.
Kate Hudson is the wife who toils inputting data to keep the family
afloat. Aidan reaches a crossroads when he discovers that his
father (Mandy Patinkin) is dying of cancer. Braff’s exasperated
profanity powers the screenplay. There are some terrific sight
gags: a rabbi on a Segway is a moment of sublime silliness. But as
the film bares its heart, it becomes uneven. (104min) Wendy Ide
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 33
1G R
Monday 19
Also available online and on tablet
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BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back
the Years 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (r) 11.00 The Sheriffs Are
Coming 11.45 Caught Red Handed (r)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News
at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 1.45 Doctors. Daniel
hunts for a student who has stolen his
identity 2.15 A Place to Call Home.
Regina tries to stop George from
leaving for Canberra 3.00 Escape to
the Country. Searching for a rural
retreat in north Wales (r) 3.45 Money
for Nothing. New series. Return of the
programme in which reclaimed items
are transformed 4.30 Flog It! From
the Grand Pier in Weston-super-Mare,
Somerset (r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show
hosted by Alexander Armstrong (r)
6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather 6.30
BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am The Repair Shop (r) 6.30
Holding Back the Years (r) 7.15 The
Sheriffs Are Coming (r) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Hugh’s Wild West (r) (SL) 9.00
Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC
Newsroom Live 11.30 The Week in
Parliament 12.00 Daily Politics
1.00pm Women’s Six Nations
Highlights. Action from the final
round of fixtures, including England v
Ireland (r) 1.30 Yes Chef. With Nigel
Haworth (r) 2.15 Your Home in Their
Hands. Last in the series (r) 3.15 Planet
Earth. Wildlife in the polar regions (r)
4.15 Spy in the Wild. Spy cameras go
“undercover” (r) 5.15 Put Your Money
Where Your Mouth Is. An antiques
fair in Somerset (r) 6.00 Eggheads.
Quiz show 6.30 The Repair Shop. The
team restores a rosewood table, a
panda bear and a toy steamboat
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine. Entertainment and fashion
news 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning. Chat and lifestyle
features 12.30pm Loose Women. With
the singer Alexandra Burke 1.30 ITV
News; Weather 1.55 Regional News;
Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder. Cameras
follow criminal barrister Robert
Rinder as he takes on real-life cases in
a studio courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s
Real Deal. David Dickinson and the
team visits Fleetwood in Lancashire,
where Michael Hogben and Helen
Gardiner assess items brought in by
members of the public (r) 4.00
Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts
the arcade-themed quiz show 5.00
The Chase. Quiz show hosted by
Bradley Walsh 6.00 Regional News;
Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody
Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
9.05 Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun 5.00 Four
in a Bed. The competition kicks off at
Meudon Hotel in Falmouth, Cornwall
(r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale. New series.
Famous faces try to raise money for
charity 6.00 The Simpsons. Flanders
is plagued with guilt after punching
Homer (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Mandy and
Luke get ready for their trip to Florida
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 The Gadget Show (r) 1.10 Access
1.15 Home and Away 1.45 Neighbours
2.20 NCIS. The agents try to
recapture a Marine who escaped
from a psychiatric unit (r) 3.20 FILM
A Deadly Affair (PG, TVM, 2017)
Suspecting her husband of having
an affair, an author trails him to the
house he has been renovating, only
to find his dead body. Thriller starring
Valerie Azlynn, Austin Highsmith and
Luke Edwards 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30
Neighbours. Izzy is left effectively
penniless, and Ben leaves for Oakey
(r) 6.00 Home and Away. Leah learns
the frightening truth behind Jasmine’s
arrival, and Tori finds an injured
Robbo (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Mary Berry’s sticky chicken (8.30pm)
Chinstrap penguins (3.15pm)
Anna Friel is Marcella (9pm)
Mel Rodriguez stars (10pm)
The X-Files continues (11pm)
7.00 The One Show Presented by
Matt Baker and Alex Jones
7.00 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc tests the
world’s fastest-accelerating car,
with a little help from NASA,
and Rory Reid samples some
exciting cars from South Korea.
Dara O Briain and Ed Byrne are
the studio guests (4/6) (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Bernice vows to
expose the truth. Pete struggles
to keep his anger under control
7.00 Channel 4 News Including
sport and weather
7.00 Anglo-Welsh Cup Highlights
Mark Durden-Smith and David
Flatman present action from
the final, which took place at
Kingsholm in Gloucester (6/6);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 EastEnders Stacey and Mo try
to find the money to give Kat
the send-off she deserves
8.00 Only Connect The Vikings take
on the Inquisitors in the first
quarter-final of the quiz show
8.00 The Kyle Files Investigating
people’s rising obsession
with how they look (3/6)
8.00 The Truth About Your Pay:
Channel 4 Dispatches A report
on the gender pay gap
8.30 Classic Mary Berry A range of
recipes for entertaining guests,
including beetroot gravadlax.
See Viewing Guide (4/6)
8.30 University Challenge The
quarter-final matches continue.
Hosted by Jeremy Paxman
8.30 Coronation Street David is
stunned that Josh shows no
remorse for his assault
8.30 Food Unwrapped Matt Tebbutt
discover if balls of Edam were
once used as cannonballs (6/6)
8.00 Extreme Winter Road Rescue
A team is called out during
the night to deal with an
overturned lorry laden with
25 tons of bricks, and an
engineer works in sub-zero
conditions in Perthshire (4/5);
followed by 5 News Update
9.00 MasterChef Seven more
contenders compete in the final
week of heats, with their first
task being to invent and then
cook one dish using ingredients
from the MasterChef Market
in an hour and 10 minutes
9.00 The Funeral Murders
Documentary examining the
deadly series of events
connecting two funerals in
Belfast in March 1988, hearing
from Republicans, Loyalists,
security forces and victims’
families. See Viewing Guide
9.00 Marcella Upon discovering the
murderer’s lair, Marcella learns
the horrifying truth about the
scale of the killer’s crimes, while
Reg tells Alan he wants to come
clean to the police. Crime
drama starring Anna Friel.
See Viewing Guide (5/8)
9.00 24 Hours in Police Custody
Cameras follow a police search
for a couple who are believed to
have exploited a vulnerable
woman by taking over her flat
to use it as a drugs base
9.00 Terror in the Air: Flights Out of
Control Footage captured by
passengers on board plane
journeys that went wrong,
including an aircraft crashing
on a busy freeway and a
mountain rescue mission
going awry (2/3)
10.00 BBC News at Ten; followed
by Regional News and Weather
10.00 QI With Aisling Bea, Joe Lycett
and David Mitchell (r)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; followed
by Regional News and Weather
10.00 Electric Dreams: Kill All Others
A man is found hanged from a
billboard, apparently murdered
and inexplicably ignored by
passers-by, after a presidential
candidate makes a statement
encouraging violence.
See Viewing Guide (10/10)
10.00 Armed and Deadly: Police UK
Firearms officers reflect on
difficult and potentially deadly
situations, including the
longest siege in British
police history, a Christmas
Day stand-off, and an
aeroplane hijack (2/4)
11.05 One Killer Punch Documentary
exploring the consequences of
deadly single hits, from a row
over a parking space in a
supermarket car park to
an unanticipated fight
outside a nightclub (r)
11.00 The X-Files Mulder and Scully
investigate a brutal animal
attack on a little boy in
Connecticut, but suspect
darker forces are at play.
Starring Gillian Anderson and
David Duchovny (8/10)
12.05am Seven Year Switch. The
couples go on their first dates (r)
1.00 One Born Every Minute (r) 1.55
World of Weird (r) 2.50 The Question
Jury (r) 3.45 Coast vs Country (r) 4.35
Location, Location, Location (r)
(SL) 5.35 Food Unwrapped (r)
12.00 Traffic Cops: On the Edge.
A driver writes his car off (r) 12.55am
Britain’s Greatest Bridges 1.15
SuperCasino 3.10 Cowboy Builders (r)
4.00 Tribal Teens (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 House Busters
(r) (SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
7.30 Britain’s Equal Pay Scandal:
Panorama Meeting workers
fighting for pay equality
between men and women
10.45 Imagine: Andrew Lloyd
Webber — Memories Alan
Yentob talks to the composer
about his autobiography
Unmasked, a candid and
confessional account of
his early life and career
up to the opening of The
Phantom of the Opera in 1986.
See Viewing Guide
12.15am Have I Got a Bit More Old
News for You. Jo Brand hosts an
edition from June 2017, with Alan
Johnson and Ross Noble joining Ian
Hislop and Paul Merton (r)
12.55 Weather for the Week
head 1.00 BBC News
7.30 Coronation Street David is
sickened by the events of last
night, and Michelle removes Ali
from her wedding guest list
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the
day’s events with Emily Maitlis
11.15 Pilgrimage: The Road to
Santiago Ed Byrne and Neil
Morrissey are among seven
famous faces donning their
backpacks to find out whether
a medieval pilgrimage still has
relevance today (1/3) (r)
12.15am Sign Zone: Taking on Putin —
Panorama. John Sweeney reports on
the forthcoming Russian presidential
elections (r) (SL) 12.45 Countryfile.
A visit to the Scottish Lowlands (r)
(SL) 1.40-2.40 Imagine: Philip Pullman
— Angels and Daemons (r) (SL)
10.50 100 Years Younger in 21 Days
The famous faces learn about
their brains and how they are
key to ageing well. Mindfulness
and meditation are led by the
Coronation Street stalwart
William Roache (3/4) (r)
11.45 The Kyle Files Investigating
people’s rising obsession
with how they look (3/6) (r)
12.15am Jackpot247. Viewers get
the chance to participate in live
interactive gaming from the comfort
of their sofas 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) (SL) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen.
Text-based information service
5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
34 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Labyrinth
Monday 19 | Primetime digital guide
Jennifer Connelly stars
in the 1980s fantasy film
directed by Jim Henson
5Star, 7.55pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Great Irish Journeys
with Martha Kearney
The broadcaster explores
the Blasket Islands off the
coast of Co Kerry (4/4) (R)
8.00 Treasures of the Indus
Sona Datta examines the
artistic legacy of the
Mughal Empire (2/3) (R)
9.00 The Art of Spain Exploring
the golden age of Spanish
painting (2/3) (R)
10.00 Mary Magdalene: Art’s
Scarlet Woman How the
image of Mary Magdalene
has evolved in art (R)
11.00 Mothers, Murderers and
Mistresses: Empresses of
Ancient Rome The lives of
women across centuries
that saw the Roman Empire
transformed (3/3) (R)
12.00-1.00am Treasures of
Ancient Greece Exploring
the riches and unique
legacy of Greek art (1/3) (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote
A former jewel thief spends
a romantic evening with a
married woman, only to find
himself the prime suspect in
a puzzling murder case (R)
8.00 Lewis The master of
Gresham College, an
amateur astronomer, is
found dead at the Oxford
University observatory,
and Lewis finds there are
numerous suspects (2/4) (R)
10.00 DCI Banks Part one of two.
The detective goes in search
of his estranged brother,
just as new recruit Helen
Morton finds evidence
linking Banks to a
murder victim (1/6) (R)
11.00-12.05am DCI Banks Part two
of two. The detective breaks
the news of Roy’s death to
his parents and tries to lead
the investigation into the
murders of his brother and
Jennifer Lewis (2/6) (R)
6.55pm The Supervet Noel treats a
shih-tzu with severe arthritis
in its hip, and a Labrador
suffering osteoarthritis
in all four legs (R)
7.55 Grand Designs Kevin
McCloud revisits Jim and
Simone Fairfull, who built a
light-filled glass pavilion
projecting over a private
Scottish loch, to see if it has
delivered all it promised (R)
9.00 Car SOS The team heads to
Eastbourne to restore a
1962 Mini Cooper belonging
to a farmer who used to
race cars but no longer can
due to a heart condition (R)
10.00 Million Pound Mega Yachts
Documentary about the
Monaco Yacht Show, where
over 100 of the largest
yachts on the water
are up for sale (R)
11.05-12.05am 24 Hours in A&E
Police suspect a patient is
concealing a weapon (R)
6.40pm FILM Step Up All In
(PG, 2014) A street dancer
seeking his fortune must
put aside old conflicts to
lead his crew to victory in a
reality television contest.
The fifth film in the dance
drama series starring Ryan
Guzman and Briana Evigan
9.00 FILM Thor (12, 2011) The
Norse god of thunder is
banished to present-day
Earth, which he must defend
from his evil brother.
Kenneth Branagh’s fantasy
adventure starring Chris
Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston
and Anthony Hopkins
11.15-1.25am FILM Wish I Was Here
(15, 2014) An actor faces
the challenges of home
schooling his children and
his father’s deteriorating
health. Comedy drama
directed by and starring
Zach Braff, with Kate
Hudson. See Film Choice
7.00pm The Simpsons Homer
organises a trip to the Super
Bowl. With the voices of
Rupert Murdoch and
Dolly Parton (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer
changes his name. With the
voice of Ed Begley Jr (R)
8.00 FILM Ghostbusters II (PG,
1989) The spectre-hunting
team reunites to save New
York from a river of slime
generated by the negativity
of the city’s inhabitants.
Comedy sequel starring Bill
Murray and Dan Aykroyd
10.05 A League of Their Own
The best moments from
the latest series of the
comedy quiz (R)
11.00 The Force: Essex Police are
called to a mass brawl in
Southend-on-Sea (R)
12.00-1.00am Ross Kemp:
Extreme World The actor
investigates Colombia’s
drug trade (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation The team’s
efforts to track down a
couple’s murderers are
hampered, and Catherine
investigates the collapse of
an apartment building that
left three women dead (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Jackie goes
undercover as an escort to
catch a serial killer who has
been murdering prostitutes
in hotel rooms (R)
9.00 Hotspots: On the Frontline
Reporting in troubled spots
around the world
10.00 Last Week Tonight with
John Oliver A satirical look
at news and pop culture
10.35 Our Cartoon President
The President is determined
to outdo the Canadian
Prime Minister Justin
Trudeau (5/10) (R)
11.10-12.20am Real Time with Bill
Maher Discussing the
week’s events (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
6.00pm Take Me Out
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Family Guy Stewie is
examined by a child psychologist
9.30 American Dad! Stan and
Francine are stranded on an island
10.00 Action Team Samantha is
kidnapped by an Abacus spy (4/6)
10.35 Family Guy
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 American Dad!
11.55-12.30am Plebs
6.45pm Live Snooker: Players
Championship Jill Douglas
presents coverage of the opening
two first-round matches from
Venue Cymru, Llandudno, where
the first players to win six frames
will progress to the quarter-finals
11.00-1.05am FILM Born to Raise
Hell (18, 2010) An Interpol agent
swears vengeance on the Russian
gun smugglers responsible for the
death of his partner. Action thriller
starring Steven Seagal, Dan
Badarau and Darren Shahlavi
7.00pm Hollyoaks Damon and
Brody prepare for Maggie’s funeral
7.30 My Hotter Half Two
more couples take part
8.00 The Big Bang Theory
8.30 Young Sheldon
9.00 Made in Chelsea Mimi
uncovers more rumours of Harry’s
inappropriate behaviour (2/12)
10.00 Five Star Hotel A surprise
celebrity joins the team (6/15)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35 The Big Bang Theory
12.00-1.05am First Dates
7.00pm Last Man Standing
7.30 Last Man Standing
7.55 FILM Labyrinth (U, 1986)
A teenager travels through a
magical maze to rescue her baby
brother. Fantasy adventure starring
Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie
10.00 Bad Teen to Ballroom
Queen Reality series
11.00-1.25am FILM Parker (15,
2013) A thief tracks the partners in
crime who betrayed him and gets
even. Action thriller with Jason
Statham and Jennifer Lopez
6.35pm The Edgar Wallace
Mystery Theatre A burglary is
discovered at the offices of a
photographic company
7.45 FILM Blanche Fury (U, 1948)
A penniless governess schemes
to take over the family estate.
Drama starring Valerie Hobson
9.45-12.20am FILM The Cassandra
Crossing (PG, 1976) A deadly
global infection looms when a
wounded terrorist carrying a
fatal virus boards a train. Disaster
movie starring Burt Lancaster
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Clegg, Truly and Alvin upset
a group of pensioners
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Smiler is pursued by a gold-digger
8.00 Hetty Wainthropp
Investigates Hetty investigates
an apparent suicide
9.00 New Tricks The team
investigates the murder of a vicar
10.00 New Tricks The
disappearance of an actress
11.20 Birds of a Feather
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Who Do You Think You
Are? Brendan O’Carroll tries
to find out the truth about his
grandfather’s murder (4/10)
8.00 Forbidden History Jamie
Theakston investigates whether
giants once roamed Earth (4/6)
9.00 Goodnight Sweetheart
Gary visits wartime Liverpool
9.40 Goodnight Sweetheart
10.20 Goodnight Sweetheart
11.00 One Foot in the Grave
11.40-12.20am One Foot in the
Grave Richard Wilson stars
7.00pm Police Interceptors
Police raid a house in Liverpool
8.00 Criminals: Caught on Camera
Meeting a seasoned CCTV operator
9.00 Car Crash TV Events caught
by dashboard-mounted cameras
10.00 Spartacus: Gods of the
Arena The house of Batiatus is
embroiled in a power struggle
11.05-1.10am FILM Enter the
Dragon (18, 1973) A former Shaolin
monk recruited as a secret agent
tries to expose a drug ring. Martial
arts thriller starring Bruce Lee
7.00pm World’s Most Dangerous
Roads Travelling along Alaska’s
notorious Dalton Highway
8.00 Cop Car Workshop The team
redesigns the vehicles that
transport the dog units
9.00 Live at the Apollo Rob
Brydon hosts the show, with
Sarah Millican and Jason Byrne
10.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit With
Anna Richardson and Nish Kumar
11.00 Taskmaster
12.00-1.00am Dave Gorman:
Modern Life Is Goodish
6.40pm FBI Takedowns A case
involving a sadistic criminal (4/6)
7.50 Remember Pearl Harbor
Chronicling the Japanese attack
on the American Pacific Fleet
9.35 The War General MacArthur’s
campaign to liberate the
Philippines (10/14)
10.45 Monte Cassino: Nine Months
in Hell The Allied military
campaign in Italy during 1944
11.50-1.35am Remember Pearl
Harbor The Japanese attack
on the American Pacific Fleet
7.00pm Auction Paintings by
Kandinsky and Miro go up for sale
7.30 Close to You: Remembering
the Carpenters Portrait of the duo
8.45 Frank Sinatra: A Man and His
Music A television special
10.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 The semi-final (9/11)
11.00 The South Bank Show
Originals A Turner exhibition
11.30 The South Bank Show
Originals A profile Mark Morris
12.00-1.30am Erotic Adventures
of Anais Nin Documentary
7.00pm The Real A&E
7.30 The Real A&E
8.00 Elementary A former
professional video game player
is killed during a live stream
9.00 Criminal Minds A mass grave
is discovered in New Orleans
10.00 Blindspot A dangerous
piece of technology is stolen
11.00 Criminal Minds The agents
are called when a six-year-old girl
disappears from a shopping centre
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A juror is murdered
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 The Walking Dead Hilltop’s
leadership faces a difficult
dilemma, and Rick comes face to
face with an adversary (12/16)
10.00 Talking Dead (12/16)
11.00 The Walking Dead (12/16)
12.00-1.00am Talking Dead (12/16)
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Motor Mega Week 2018
Builds And Race New series
9.00 Motor Mega Week 2018
Builds And Race New series.
Richard Rawlings wants a rematch
10.00 Shifting Gears with Aaron
Kaufman New series
11.00-12.00 Street Outlaws
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
A Boeing 737 crash
8.00 Car SOS Tim and Fuzz get
help from James Nesbitt
9.00 Air Crash Investigation
10.00 Airport Security: Peru
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Air Crash
Investigation
7.00pm Friends Four edition
9.00 Impractical Jokers
9.30 Impractical Jokers
10.00 Impractical Jokers The guys
give phony presentations about
aviation. Last in the series
11.00 Impractical Jokers:
After Party Last in the series
11.30-12.30am 8 Out of 10 Cats
6.40pm Only Fools and Horses
7.20 Dad’s Army
8.00 dinnerladies Bren gets
excited about her holiday
8.40 dinnerladies A convict
escapes near the factory
9.20 Only Fools and Horses
11.00 Gavin & Stacey
11.40-12.20am Come Fly with Me
7.00pm MasterChef Junior USA A
sushi platter elimination challenge
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
Responding to gang violence
9.00 One Born Every Minute
10.00 Babies: Special Delivery
11.00 The Catherine Tate Show
11.40-12.20am The Catherine Tate
Show With Paul O’Grady
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.00pm Jasper Jones (12, 2017)
A 14 year old boy tries to
find a killer when a town outcast is
suspected of murder. Thriller with
Levi Miller and Aaron McGrath
8.00 Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) Mechanic Cade
Yeager continues his fight against
the Decepticons in a battle which
takes him to England. Fantasy
adventure starring Mark Wahlberg
10.40-12.15am It Comes At Night
(15, 2017) Horror thriller with Joel
Edgerton and Christopher Abbott
6.00pm Patch Adams (12, 1998)
Comedy drama starring Robin
Williams and Monica Potter
8.00 8 Mile (15, 2002) A white
rapper struggles to make a name
for himself on the music scene and
break away from his deprived
home life on a Detroit trailer park.
Drama starring Eminem
10.00 Videodrome (18, 1982)
Surreal horror with James Woods
11.35-1.25am Kiss of the Dragon
(18, 2001) Martial arts adventure
starring Jet Li and Bridget Fonda
6.25pm Smurfs: The Lost Village
(U, 2017) Animated adventure
with the voice of Demi Lovato
8.00 Pete’s Dragon (PG, 2016) A
young boy orphaned by a car crash
and left alone in a forest befriends
a dragon. Fantasy adventure
starring Bryce Dallas Howard
9.50 Babe: Pig in the City (U, 1998)
Family comedy sequel with Magda
Szubanski and Mickey Rooney
11.30-1.20am Turbo: A Power
Rangers Movie (PG, 1997) Sci-fi
adventure with Jason David Frank
6.00pm The Bourne Supremacy
(12, 2004) With Matt Damon
8.00 The Great Wall (12, 2016)
A mercenary is pulled into a battle
between Chinese warriors and
giant, lizard-like monsters. Fantasy
adventure starring Matt Damon
10.00 Green Zone (15, 2010)
A military officer searching Iraq
for weapons of mass destruction
uncovers a conspiracy. Thriller with
Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear
12.00-2.15am The Bourne Identity
(12, 2002) With Matt Damon
5.55pm Norman (15, 2016)
Drama starring Richard Gere
8.00 Get Out (15, 2017) Thriller
starring Daniel Kaluuya and
Allison Williams. See Film Choice
10.00 Clash (15, 2016)
Demonstrators from different sides
of the political divide are tossed
into a police van during Egypt’s
2013 street protests. Drama
starring Nelly Karim and Hani Adel
11.50-2.05am In This Corner of the
World (12, 2016) Animated drama
featuring the voice of Non
How Mary Magdalene, Art’s
Scarlet Woman, has been
portrayed (BBC Four, 10pm)
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 35
1G R
Monday 19
Sports guide
Live Cycling
Eurosport 1, 2.45pm
Radio 1
Forget British cycling’s woe and
bask for a week in the Spanish
sun; the Volta a Catalunya
starts today on the coast in
Calella before finishing in
Barcelona on Sunday. Last
year’s winner, Alejandro
Valverde, pictured, was in a
class of his own. He won three
stages, as well as the overall
general classification. On the
podium he was joined by
his compatriots Alberto
Contador and Marc Soler. JC
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
7.30am LIVE ICC Cricket
World Cup Qualifier Coverage
of a qualifier, as the teams
look to earn a place in next
year’s one-day tournament
3.30pm Sky Sports News
5.00 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6
7.00 Sky Sports Tonight
7.30 LIVE EFL: Doncaster
Rovers v Bradford City
(Kick-off 7.45) Coverage of
the League One clash,
which takes place at the
Keepmoat Stadium
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00-3.15am LIVE WWE Late
Night Raw Wrestling
coverage from the States
Sky Sports Premier
League
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
10.00am PL Daily
11.00 Goals on Sunday
12.30pm PL Greatest Games
1.00 PL Best Goals 04/05
2.00 PL Highlights
5.00 Soccer AM: The Best
Bits A look at some of the
highlights of Saturday’s show
5.30 PL Greatest Games
6.00 Best PL Goals
1999/2000 A selection of
great strikes from the
1999/2000 season
7.00 PL Review
8.00 Soccer AM: The Best
Bits A look at some of the
highlights of Saturday’s show
8.30 PL Greatest Games
9.00 PL Review
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Soccer AM: The
Best Bits Highlights
11.30 PL Legends
12.00-12.30am PL Greatest
Games Two matches
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
9.00am La Liga Highlights:
Barcelona
9.15 La Liga Highlights:
Real Madrid
9.30 La Liga Greatest Games
10.00 La Liga Football
4.15pm La Liga Greatest
Games Three matches
5.00 La Liga Highlights:
Barcelona
5.15 La Liga Highlights:
Real Madrid
Radio guide
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw
10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00
Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 Greg James 7.00 Annie
Mac 9.00 Charlie Sloth 11.00
Huw Stephens 1.00am René
LaVice 3.00 Phil Taggart
4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
5.30 Football Countdowns
The most memorable
debuts in football
6.00 La Liga Files
6.45 La Liga Icons Luis Suarez
7.00 Soccer AM: The Best Bits
7.30 LIVE EFL: Doncaster
Rovers v Bradford City
(Kick-off 7.45) Coverage of
the League One clash,
which takes place at the
Keepmoat Stadium
10.00 The Debate
Discussion on the latest
Premier League news
11.00 SPFL Round-Up
11.15 SPFL Greatest Games
11.30 MLS Round-Up Show
12.00-12.15am SPFL RoundUp A review of the latest
round of fixtures
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
7.15am-3.30pm LIVE ICC
Cricket World Cup Qualifier
Coverage of a qualifier, as the
teams look to earn a place in
next year’s one-day
tournament
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
Midnight-3.15am LIVE WWE
Late Night Raw Wrestling
coverage from the States with
the over-the-top stars
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
7.30pm-9.30 LIVE Bundesliga
2: FC Erzgebirge Aue v SpVgg
Greuther Fürth (Kick-off 7.30)
Coverage of the German
second-tier clash from
Sparkassen-Erzgebirgsstadion
11.00 LIVE NBA: Cleveland
Cavaliers v Milwaukee Bucks
(Tip-off 11.00) Coverage of the
Eastern Conference clash
from Quicken Loans Arena
1.30am-4.00 LIVE NBA: San
Antonio Spurs v Golden State
Warriors (Tip-off 1.30)
Coverage of the Western
Conference clash from
AT&T Centre
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
2.45pm-4.15 LIVE Cycling:
Tour of Catalunya Coverage
of stage one, which takes the
riders on a 152.3km journey
across Calella
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce
12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm
Steve Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 Paul Jones 8.00 Jo
Whiley 10.00 Six Decades of
British Soul (r) 11.00 Jools
Holland 12.00 Johnnie Walker
2.00am Radio 2’s Jazz Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlists
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Debussy
1.00pm News
1.02 Live Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Byrd (O Lord make
thy servant Elizabeth our
Queen; and Attollite portas);
Tallis (Absterge Domine);
Lassus (Madonna, mia pietà);
Willaert (Vecchie letrose);
Sandrin (Doulce memoire);
Ferrabosco (Exaudi Domine
orationem meam; Ad
Dominum cum tribularer);
Dowland (Now, o now I needs
must part; Can she excuse my
wrongs); Wilbye (The Lady
Oriana); and Weelkes (As Vesta
was from Latmos hills
descending)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Penny Gore showcases some
of the Ulster Orchestra’s
most recent recordings
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Daniil Trifonov plays
Tchaikovsky’s Piano Concerto
No 1 with the LPO
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
10.45 The Free Thinking Essay
11.00 Jazz Now
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
9.00 Start the Week
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Keywords for Our Time
New series. Beginning with
the MeToo hashtag
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Including at 10.45 the Drama:
Delphine de Vigan’s
Based on a True Story (1/5)
Today’s picks
Reservoir 13
Radio 4, 10.45pm
Yet another exhumation of Jon
McGregor’s novel in which a
young (naturally) blonde
(inevitably) girl goes missing.
It’s won all sorts of awards,
including the Costa and there
is no doubting that it’s well
done. McGregor, pictured, sets
his missing girl in the Peak
District and he has a lovely way with the natural world. It’s
not by any means a police procedural — the post-mortem is
performed on the village, rather than any corpse. But even
in the year since it was published this feels dated. Feminism
has opened the windows and suddenly the air in the incident
room feels foetid. The inevitable litany — the dredging of
quarries; the church services — feels pornographic, not
tragic. Sure, the missing lass is a trope; a trick; a peg. But
find another peg to hang your story on. That isn’t (in all
likelihood) dead and doesn’t have breasts. Catherine Nixey
11.00 The Expressing Room
11.30 Ayres on the Air
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Book of the Week:
The Wood
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: The Ferryhill
Philosophers By Michael
Chaplin. Joe’s daughter is
pregnant and about to go to
university and everyone has
an opinion on it —
except Hermione
3.00 Brain of Britain
3.30 The Food Programme (r)
4.00 The Art of Now:
Return to Catalonia
4.30 The Digital Human
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Just a Minute
7.00 The Archers Justin calls
in a favour and Pat is offended
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Based on a True Story (r)
8.00 Double-Talk
8.30 Analysis
9.00 Aftermath (r)
9.30 Start the Week (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Reservoir 13 By Jon McGregor,
abridged by Sara Davies.
A teenage girl disappears
while on holiday. See Choice
11.00 Something of the Night
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Wood (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
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10.00 The Emma Barnett
Show with Anna Foster
1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live
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talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
5.00am Early Breakfast with
Will Gavin 6.00 The Alan
Brazil Sports Breakfast with
Joey Barton 10.00 Jim White,
Danny Murphy and Bob Mills
1.00pm Hawksbee and
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and Darren Gough 7.00 Live
Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar.
With Andy Goldstein and
Jason Cundy 1.00am Extra
Time with Will Gavin
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8.00am Hancock’s Half Hour
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of Somerset Maugham 11.15
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Half Hour 12.30pm Flywheel,
Shyster and Flywheel 1.00 A
Charles Paris Mystery: An
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Charles Paris Mystery: An
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10.00 Comedy Club: Just a
Minute 10.30 A Short
Gentleman 11.00 The Now
Show 11.30 The Museum
of Everything
Discovery: Why We
Cut Men
World Service, 8.30pm
This is an excellent
programme, but goodness, it
has a bracing opening. There
is a snipping noise and then
a metallic “whssh” that
sounds unnervingly like a
knife being sharpened.
“This,” presenter Mary-Ann
Ochota tells us, “is the sound
of a man being circumcised.”
Anyway, as she explains, this
circumcision is not taking
place for religious reasons,
but for health: circumcision
can cut transmission
of HIV by 60 per cent.
Now many countries
are promoting it. CN
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The Arts
Hour 10.00 World Update
11.00 The Newsroom 11.30
The Conversation 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
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Factor 1.50 More or Less
2.00 Newshour 3.00 News
3.06 HARDtalk 3.30 Business
4.00 BBC OS 6.00 News 6.06
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7.30 Sport Today 8.00 News
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Discovery. See Choice 9.00
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News 12.06am The Forum
12.50 Sporting Witness 1.00
News 1.06 Business Matters
2.00 News 2.06 The
Newsroom 2.30 The Why
Factor 2.50 More or Less
3.00 News 3.06 BBC World
Hacks 3.30 In the Studio
4.00 News 4.06 Outlook
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Nemone 10.00
Lauren Laverne 1.00pm
Mark Radcliffe and Stuart
Maconie 4.00 Amy Lamé
7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon
Coe 12.00 Lauren Laverne
1.00am Punk Lyrics with
Murray Lachlan Young
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 John Suchet
1.00pm Aled Jones 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00
Smooth Classics 8.00 The
Full Works Concert. Two
hours for the West-Eastern
Divan Orchestra, plus works
by Mozart, Beethoven,
Ravel, Liszt and Elgar
10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Sam Pittis
36 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Tuesday 20 | Viewing guide
PRAKASH SINGH/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
Critic’s choice
Great Indian Railway Journeys
BBC Two, 8pm
So dedicated to traversing
the world’s public transport
systems is Michael Portillo
that tonight we find him
dashing over to examine
Indian railways, a mere five
days after finishing his
train-based tour of eastern
Europe in Great Continental
Railways (although we’re
willing to bet that he didn’t
use a train to get there). As is
increasingly the case with the
former Tory minister’s
travelogues, there’s plenty of
dressing up and throwing
himself into activities
seemingly chosen to make
him look daft. At one point
he squats awkwardly at an
oven, cooking chapatis with
two women who look
mortified. Later he dons
a waistcoat and robe
combination that makes him
look like a shepherd in a
nativity play, before bouncing
around to bhangra like a child
trapped on a bouncy castle.
Nonetheless, there are
interesting moments in the
first episode’s journey around
Punjab. He visits Kalka, the
hilltop village in Shimla from
where a fifth of the human
race was ruled for eight
months of the year during
the days of the British Raj
(involving an epic 1,200-mile
train journey for the
government). There’s also
a lovely journey to Amritsar’s
Sikh Golden Temple,
with pretty drone shots
of cobalt blue waters
surrounding the building’s
glistening gilt structure. Less
attractive is the lurid orange
headscarf he’s required to
wear to enter. It clashes so
violently with the garish red
trousers and navy blue shirt
he’s wearing, it makes you
yearn for the days of black
and white television.
Alexi Duggins
Further recommendations
In The Past at Work, first shown in 1980, Anthony Burton looks
at the role of railway companies in the 19th century (iPlayer)
The World’s
Ugliest Pets
The Great
Celebrity Bake Off
Wild Britain
Mum
Channel 5, 9pm
BBC Two, 10pm
ITV, 8pm
Channel 4, 8pm
Not the mean-spirited show
that the title suggests, but one
where Caroline Quentin delves
into the world of ugly dog
contests. She journeys the
nation to meet pets of all
stripes (red-eyed guinea pigs,
hairless cats), finding them
oddly cute and professing her
love while giggling with glee.
There’s plenty of fun with
owners who dress up their
Chinese crested dogs as Ronald
McDonald and a madcap jaunt
to the US, where Quentin enters
a British pooch into the world’s
ugliest dog contest. Silly, but
immensely enjoyable. AD
There aren’t many contestants
who can claim that their greatgreat-grandfather invented the
digestive, but Made in Chelsea’s
McVitie’s heir, Jamie Laing, can.
Joining him are the comedian
Tim Minchin (never baked
before), singer Ella Eyre (may
as well have never baked
before) and Scottish politician
Ruth Davidson (so quietly
competitive that she shadow
boxes while waiting for the
oven). In Laing’s words, baking
is “in his genes”, but in Paul
Hollywood’s: “That has got to
be the worst cake that has ever
been baked in the tent. Ever.” AD
In the wake of Blue Planet II it
is a tough job to create seabased nature documentaries
that actually impress. However,
this Hugh Bonneville-narrated
series manages it as it focuses
in on Britain’s coastlines. It’s
lusciously shot, with footage of
a hovering kestrel so close up
and steady that it could almost
be CGI. Other highlights
include a sluggish bull seal
rolling around on the beach,
rheumily hissing warnings
at potential claimants on his
blubbery harem, and a
surprisingly cute sand lizard
tuckering himself out while
trying to scuttle his way up
30m-high sand dunes. AD
The penultimate episode of
Stefan Golaszewski’s comedy
begins with an unsettling air of
awkwardness between Cathy
and Michael. As ever, it’s hugely
adorable, subtle and adept at
wringing pathos, humour and
drama from the tiniest
moments. Tonight features
what has to be the most
poignant conversation about
mobile phone contracts yet,
and a brilliant aside mocking
the guff that people post on
Twitter. “Really nice of you to
send your thoughts to victims
of the earthquake,” says Kelly.
“It’s important they know
I’m thinking of them,” Derek
replies. AD
Catch
up
Putin: The New Tsar
BBC iPlayer, to April 8
Given his villainous image in
the West, it comes almost as
a surprise that Vladimir Putin
hasn’t taken to stroking a
white cat in his arms. A onetime KGB enforcer who now
has his own private jet
and ice-hockey rink, who
prides himself on his judo
skills and all-round
machismo, Putin is
admired by Trump and
feared by his rivals. So
how did a poor boy from a
tiny flat in St Petersburg
become one of the world’s
most powerful leaders? Putin’s
former confidante Sergei
Pugachev’s suggests: “First of
all he’s a weak man. Secondly,
he’s an envious and greedy
man, And thirdly he’s a man
who always lies.” They’re no
longer friends. James Jackson
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
9.00pm-10.00 Keeping Faith. Faith is
dragged to the police station for an
interrogation 10.40 Shetland 11.40 This
Country 12.10am Rehab: Addicted Lives
1.35-1.40 Weather for the Week Ahead
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
1.45pm First Minister’s Questions 2.35 Yes
Chef (r) 3.20 Planet Earth. The wildlife of
the great plains (r) 4.20 Spy in the Wild (r)
5.20-5.30 Coast (r) 11.15-12.15am
Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago (r)
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm Spotlight. Social and political
issues 11.10 This Country 11.35 Rehab:
Addicted Lives 1.00am-6.00 BBC News
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
10.00pm-10.30 True North: Tractor Mad
(r) 11.15 Mum 11.45-12.15am The Mash
Report (r)
● BBC1 Scotland As BBC One except:
8.00pm-9.00 River City 10.45 Holby City
11.45 This Country 12.15am Rehab:
Addicted Lives 1.40 Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.45-6.00 BBC News
● Channel As ITV except: 12.30am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 8.00pm STV
Children’s Appeal: Where Your Money
Went 8.30-9.00 River Monsters. Jeremy
Wade travels to the far north of Australia
10.30 Scotland Tonight 11.05 Four Days
That Shook Britain (r) 12.25am
Teleshopping 1.25 After Midnight 2.55 ITV
Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 10.45pm View from
Stormont. Current affairs 11.45 The Cruise:
Voyage to Alaska (r) 12.10am Four Days
That Shook Britain (r) 1.25 Teleshopping
2.55-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Dudley ar Daith (r)
12.30 Trycar (r) 1.30 Perthyn (r) 2.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 John ac
Alun (r) 3.30 Popeth ar Ffilm (r) 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Pigo Dy
Drwyn (r) 5.30 Gwboi a Twm Twm (r) 5.45
FI: Megan (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
6.05 04 Wal (r) 6.30 Rownd a Rownd 7.00
Heno 7.30 Pobol y Cwm 8.00 Cefn Gwlad.
Dai Jones travels to Crymych 9.00 News
9 a’r Tywydd 9.30 Y Byd ar Bedwar 10.00
Lle Aeth Pawb? Merched Pop 65-75 (r)
11.00-11.35 Pobol y Rhondda (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
The Expendables (12, 2014)
Channel 5, 10pm
Hollywood’s welfare scheme for withered muscle thunders into
action again, kicking off with a double-header of action set pieces.
First up is an assault on a prison train equipped with a super-gun.
The target is Doctor Death (Wesley Snipes), a man so macho he
shaves using a knife big enough to gut a blue whale. The next
item of business for tattooed meatball Sylvester Stallone is a
billionaire arms dealer, wanted by the CIA’s Max Drummer
(Harrison Ford, underused). The team runs into a few hiccups,
not least the fact that the dealer is a smirking psychopath with
a score to settle (Mel Gibson, great fun). (126min) Wendy Ide
The Second Best Exotic
Marigold Hotel (PG, 2015)
Film4, 9pm
John Madden’s comedy presents a
tourist-sanitised India, where the
traffic is negotiable, the streets are
clean and the colourful street
markets are hassle-free. The first
movie, which featured perky British
pensioners enjoying their golden
years in a clapped-out hotel in India, was a surprise “grey pound”
hit, with its stellar cast of Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, Bill Nighy,
Celia Imrie and Penelope Wilton. The sequel stays safely in the
same colonial sitcom territory. The great British thespians deliver
their lines with verve and wit. The on-off romance between
Evelyn and Douglas (Dench and Nighy, pictured) continues from
the first film at a Zimmer-frame pace. (122min) Kate Muir
The Counsellor (18, 2013)
Film4, 11.30pm
Ridley Scott directs a tale of a high-flying lawyer (Michael
Fassbender) whose one-time flirtation with crime turns bad.
It’s not the most subtle piece of writing, which is a surprise
because the screenplay is by the novelist Cormac McCarthy.
Meandering and verbose, it has a habit of making characters
describe unimaginable nastiness in lip-smacking detail for no
reason other than to foreshadow someone’s fate in the third act.
Scott’s visual flair is much in evidence; the look of the film is
characterised by a sordid bravura that is somewhat amusing. It’s
just a pity that the images on screen are often in competition with
the dialogue, rather than working alongside it. (117min) Wendy Ide
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 37
1G R
Tuesday 20
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BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back
the Years 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are
Coming 11.45 Caught Red Handed (r)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (r) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather 1.45 Doctors.
Emma helps DI Addison identify a
murder suspect with an ice cold heart
2.15 A Place to Call Home. George
advises Sarah over a woman she
suspects was a concentration camp
guard 3.05 Escape to the Country.
Two journalists seek a country home
in Devon (r) 3.45 Money for Nothing.
Jay Blades transforms items
reclaimed from a Walsall tip 4.30 Flog
It! From Muncaster Castle in Cumbria
(r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show (r) 6.00
BBC News at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30
Holding Back the Years (r) 7.15 The
Sheriffs Are Coming (r) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (r)
(SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00
BBC Newsroom Live 12.00 Daily
Politics 1.00pm The Super League
Show 1.45 Coast (r) 2.30 Yes Chef.
Atul Kochhar puts four home cooks
through a series of culinary
challenges (r) 3.15 Planet Earth. The
wildlife of the great plains (r) 4.15
Spy in the Wild. The world of animal
intelligence, ingenuity and creativity
(r) 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is. Eric Knowles goes head to
head with Ochuko Ojiri in Villeneuve
Les Avignon (r) 6.00 Eggheads. Quiz
show 6.30 The Repair Shop. The team
restores a toy fire engine, a Japanese
bowl and a unique village sign
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose
Women. The team is joined by Kara
Tointon, star of a touring version of
Strangers on a Train, and Catherine
Tyldesley, better known as Corrie’s
Eva Price 1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55
Regional News; Weather 2.00 Judge
Rinder. Robert Rinder takes on
real-life cases 3.00 Dickinson’s Real
Deal. Stewart Hofgartner joins David
Dickinson in The Potteries. Alys
Dobbie kicks things off with a pinball
machine, and there is a sing song on
Alison Chapman’s table (r) 4.00
Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz show 5.00 The
Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley
Walsh 6.00 Regional News; Weather
6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun. British
ex-pats setting up new businesses
overseas 5.00 Four in a Bed. A visit to
The Royal Oak pub in Malborough,
Devon (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale. Anthea
Turner tries to sell her unwanted
items 6.00 The Simpsons (r)
6.30 Hollyoaks. Damon and Brody
prepare for Maggie’s funeral
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.10
Access. Showbiz news and gossip 1.15
Home and Away 1.45 Neighbours
2.20 NCIS. McGee tries to quell a crisis
in a women’s prison (r) 3.20 FILM
Dead Over Heels (PG, TVM, 2016)
A crime-fighter puts her skills to use
in solving the murder of a detective
who was not fond of her sleuthing.
Mystery starring Candace Cameron
Bure 5.00 5 News at 5 (r) 5.30
Neighbours. Izzy decides to leave
after her pregnancy test proves
negative, though she has one last
surprise for Karl (r) 6.00 Home and
Away. Willow and one of the River
Boys recognise each other at Kat’s
wake (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Shetland concludes (9pm)
Monica and Giles in Ireland (9pm)
The World’s Ugliest Pets (8pm)
The Great Celebrity Bake Off (8pm)
A kestrel in Wild Britain (9pm)
7.00 The One Show Live chat and
topical reports, presented by
Matt Baker and Alex Jones
7.00 Saving Lives at Sea The
Aberystwyth crew must
improvise when a local
paraglider crash-lands at the
bottom of steep cliffs, while a
seal is discovered on the steps
of a block of flats (9/12) (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Debbie reluctantly
gives in to Joe’s demands
7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport
and weather
7.00 Reinventing The Royals:
Elizabeth — Our Queen
Examining Elizabeth II’s life
since 2000, an era when she
lost her sister and mother (7/8);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Holby City Ric Griffin finally
stands trial, accused of
manslaughter, Ollie accepts the
ultimate challenge from
Roxanna, and Jac is backed into
a corner emotionally
8.00 Great Indian Railway Journeys
New series. Guided by his
Bradshaw’s 1913 Handbook of
Indian, Foreign and Colonial
Travel, Michael Portillo embarks
on a journey from Amritsar to
Shimla. See Viewing Guide (1/4)
8.00 The World’s Ugliest Pets
Caroline Quentin meets
unattractive pets, and searches
for Britain’s least photogenic
canine to represent the UK at
The World’s Ugliest Dog Contest
in California. See Viewing Guide
8.00 The Great Celebrity Bake Off
for Stand Up to Cancer Tim
Minchin, Ruth Davidson, Jamie
Laing and Ella Eyre compete
See Viewing Guide (3/5)
8.00 Secrets of the National Trust
with Alan Titchmarsh The
host visits Grade 2 listed The
Workhouse in Nottinghamshire
which was the focus of Dickens’
novel, Oliver Twist (4/12);
followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Shetland Troubled by historical
DNA evidence results, Perez has
to face the fact that Duncan
may have been involved in
Lizzie Kilmuir’s murder, and
potentially Sally McColl’s as
well. Last in the series (6/6)
9.00 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond
the Lobby Giles Coren and
Monica Galetti work in Ireland’s
Ashford Castle, the duo soon
learn that the secret of the
castle’s success is the people
who work here and the hotel’s
strong community ties (4/6)
9.00 100 Years Younger in 21 Days
The famous subjects do
everything they can to shave
some years off their brain, body
and face ages before the
Professor reveals their final
results. Last in the series
10.00 BBC News at Ten; followed by
Regional News and Weather
10.00 Mum Cathy sees Michael
for the first time in months.
See Viewing Guide (5/6)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; followed by
Regional News and Weather
7.30 EastEnders The locals gather
at the Vic to raise money for
Kat’s funeral — only for Jean
to arrive with shocking news
7.30 100 Year Old Driving School
A 100-year-old Army veteran
takes his first driving test (4/6)
10.25 The Archiveologists (5/6)
10.45 This Country Kurtan’s shopping
trip is disrupted (3/6)
11.10 Rehab: Addicted Lives
Documentary uncovering what
is done to help people beat
their addictions and start
rebuilding their lives at a
residential rehabilitation centre
12.35am Weather for the Week Ahead
12.40 BBC News
10.30 Newsnight
11.15 Gareth Thomas’ Silver
Skydivers for Sport Relief
The Rugby Union and League
veteran faces his fear of
heights with a charity sky-dive,
alongside a team of pensioners
12.15am Sign Zone: MasterChef. Seven
more contenders compete in the
cookery challenge (r) (SL) 1.15-2.15
Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the
Lobby. Return of the strand exploring
extraordinary hostelries, beginning
with the Brando Resort (r) (SL)
10.45 The Cruise: Voyage to Alaska
JC makes his stage debut as
master of ceremonies (3/3) (r)
11.10 Four Days That Shook Britain
Telling the story of people who
were directly affected by the
wave of terror attacks that
shook Britain across a fourmonth period in 2017 (r)
12.30am Jackpot247. Viewers get the
chance to participate in live gaming
from the comfort of their sofas 3.00
Loose Women. The team is joined by
Kara Tointon and Catherine Tyldesley
(r) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
9.15 Seven Year Switch Lee Valls
sets the couples the task of
re-enacting a past argument,
and Vena Ramphal gets
everyone to open up about that
most private subject — sex (3/6)
9.00 Wild Britain: Untamed Coasts
Cameras follow events at a
grey seal colony in Norfolk, as
bulls fight over the in-season
females, while in Anglesey,
guillemots are setting up
home on precarious ledges.
See Viewing Guide (3/8)
11.20 Before We Die Hanna, Bjorn and
Tina now know what Operation
Krajina is all about (9/10)
10.00 FILM The Expendables 3 (12,
2014) Soldier of fortune Barney
Ross discovers an old friend he
was forced to kill is still alive,
and has become a powerful
arms dealer with vengeance on
his mind. Barney is forced to
recruit a new band of
mercenaries and adopt more
modern tactics to deal with
this threat to him and his past
associates. Action thriller
sequel starring Sylvester
Stallone, Mel Gibson and Jason
Statham. See Film Choice
12.30am Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA. In Monrovia,
California (r) 1.20 The Supervet (r)
2.20 Scruffts: Britain’s Favourite Dog
(r) 3.15 My Baby’s Life: Who Decides?
(r) 4.10 Coast vs Country (r) 5.05
Location, Location, Location (r) (SL)
12.20am Weather Terror: Lightning
Strike. Extreme weather events
overseas. Last in the series (r) 1.15
SuperCasino 3.10 Cowboy Builders (r)
4.00 Tribal Teens (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 House Busters (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
10.20 Gogglebox The households’
instant reactions to what they
are watching on television from
their own sofas (r)
38 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Practical Magic
Tuesday 20 | Primetime digital guide
Sandra Bullock and Nicole
Kidman star in the 1998
supernatural drama
5Star, 11.05pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Secret Knowledge: The Art
of the Vikings Exploring the
effects of Viking culture on
the British Isles (R)
8.00 Immortal Egypt with Joann
Fletcher Joann explores the
peak of ancient Egyptian
civilisation (R)
9.00 Madame Tussaud: A
Legend in Wax The woman
behind the worldwide
waxworks empire (R)
10.00 The Prosecutors: Real
Crime and Punishment
Cases include two violent
domestic murders and the
victim of an assault (R)
11.00 Britain’s Outlaws:
Highwaymen, Pirates and
Rogues The criminal
underworld of the 17th and
18th centuries (R)
12.00-1.00am Treasures of
Ancient Greece The
revolution that gave birth to
classical Greek art (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote The
sheriff of Cabot Cove arrests
an ambassador’s son who is
later found dead — and
Jessica is left to prove her
friend was not the killer (R)
8.00 Midsomer Murders A new
war memorial in Midsomer
Parva stirs up an old feud
between the Hammonds
and their neighbours the
Hickses, whose ancestor
was shot for cowardice at
the Somme (R)
10.00 Scott & Bailey Rachel helps
DCI Murray on a rape and
murder case and, back at
home, she makes a
shocking discovery about
what her brother Dom gets
up to in her flat (R)
11.00-12.05am Scott & Bailey The
duo investigate the murder
of an eight-year-old boy, and
Janet tells Andy she is
having second thoughts
about their brief liaison (R)
6.55pm The Supervet Noel treats a
labrador suffering with
severe arthritis, and a senior
neurologist deals with a
Chihuahua born with fluid
on the brain (R)
7.55 Grand Designs Kevin
McCloud returns to the
Midlothian countryside to
visit Pru and Richard Irvine,
who planned to build a
family home on an old
industrial site (R)
9.00 24 Hours in A&E A girl
receives treatment after
falling from the top of a
climbing frame at school (R)
10.00 999: What’s Your
Emergency? Call handlers
counselling people with
severe mental health
episodes (R)
11.05-12.10am 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown With
Sarah Millican, Roisin
Conaty, Rhod Gilbert and
David O’Doherty (R)
6.25pm FILM Beautiful Creatures
(12, 2013) A teenager falls in
love with a girl, only to
discover she is a witch and
must soon choose a side in
a magical conflict. Fantasy
with Alden Ehrenreich, Alice
Englert and Jeremy Irons
9.00 FILM The Second Best
Exotic Marigold Hotel (PG,
2015) Retirement home
owner Sonny sets out to
expand his empire, but must
impress an investor’s hotel
inspector to do so. Comedy
drama sequel starring Dev
Patel, Maggie Smith and
Judi Dench. See Film Choice
11.30-1.45am FILM The Counsellor
(18, 2013) A lawyer becomes
involved in drug trafficking,
but quickly finds himself out
of his depth. Ridley Scott’s
crime thriller starring
Michael Fassbender,
Penélope Cruz and Javier
Bardem. See Film Choice
7.00pm The Simpsons Marge’s
aggressive driving habits
come under scrutiny (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Lisa has to
share a room with Bart (R)
8.00 The Flash Barry must
decide if he should expose
his powers after hearing
that Amunet has struck a
deal to buy all the
metahumans in Iron Heights
9.00 The Blacklist Liz questions
Red’s motives when they
team up to find Tom’s killers,
while the task force gets
help from an arsonist
10.00 The Late Late Show with
James Corden: Best of the
Week Chat and
entertainment show
11.00 The Force: Essex Officers
pursue a joyrider in
Southend-on-Sea (R)
12.00-1.00am Ross Kemp:
Extreme World The actor
joins Kurdish forces fighting
ISIS in Syria (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation The team is
assigned to investigate the
apparent kidnap of a baby
from a wealthy family (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Henry suffers a
heart attack during the
Reagans’ Thanksgiving
celebrations (R)
9.00 Here and Now Farid is
troubled by his connection
to Ramon, while Audrey is
enlightened (5/10)
10.10 Divorce Robert and Frances
reminisce about happier
times, and Tom jumps at the
chance to chauffeur Diane
10.45 Crashing Pete is abandoned
by Artie, but is rescued by
the comedian Bill Burr
11.20 SMILF Semiautobiographical comedy
starring Frankie Shaw (R)
11.55-12.30am SMILF Bridgette
fantasises about living the
life of a wealthy, stay-athome mother (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Featuring a building that
crushes a sports car
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 FILM Paul (15, 2011) A captive
alien escapes from a secret military
base and seeks the help of two
English comic-book geeks in
getting to his spaceship Sci-fi
comedy starring Simon Pegg
11.10 Family Guy
11.35-12.05am Family Guy
6.45pm Live Snooker: Players
Championship The evening
session on day two, featuring two
first-round matches from Venue
Cymru, Llandudno. With analysis
by Alan McManus, Joe Perry and
Neal Foulds, and commentary by
Clive Everton and Phil Yates
11.00-12.50am FILM Jaws: The
Revenge (15, 1987) The remaining
members of the Brody family are
terrorised by a great white shark in
the Bahamas. Thriller sequel with
Michael Caine and Lorraine Gary
7.00pm Hollyoaks Darren and
Nancy continue to have difficulties
7.30 My Hotter Half The farmer
Kate takes on the MMA fighter Oli
8.00 The Big Bang Theory
8.30 The Big Bang Theory
9.00 Tattoo Fixers: X-Rated A look
back at the rudest tattoos
10.00 Five Star Hotel New staff
member Charlotte Dawson causes
a stir on her first breakfast shift
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35-12.05am The Big Bang
Theory
7.00pm Last Man Standing
Vanessa and the girls surprise Mike
7.30 Last Man Standing Vanessa
and Carol decide to play a prank
8.00 Car Crash TV Events caught
by dashboard-mounted cameras
9.00 Celebrity Ghost Hunt Live
Rylan Clark-Neal and famous faces
conduct paranormal investigations
11.05-1.15am FILM Practical Magic
(12, 1998) Two sisters descended
from a long line of witches try to
lift a curse. Fantasy starring Sandra
Bullock and Nicole Kidman
6.35pm The Edgar Wallace
Mystery Theatre An insurance
investigator tackles gambling
7.45 FILM The Captain’s Table (U,
1959) A gruff cargo skipper is given
the command of a luxurious liner.
Comedy starring John Gregson
9.30 FILM The Stranger (PG, 1946)
A war crimes investigator is on the
trail of a Nazi. Drama directed by
and starring Orson Welles
11.25-1.30am FILM The Way to the
Stars (U, 1945) Second World War
drama starring John Mills
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Barry and Glenda get a shock
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Nora reveals a long-standing feud
8.00 The Inspector Lynley
Mysteries Feature-length episode.
A doorkeeper at the House of
Lords is murdered
10.00 New Tricks The squad
reinvestigates the death of a
timeshare magnate
11.20 Birds of a Feather
12.00-1.00am The Bill Meadows
goes undercover in a casino
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Deep Wreck Mysteries
The wreck of HMS Audacious
8.00 Full Steam Ahead Peter Ginn
and Alex Langlands work as
navvies building railway tracks
9.00 One Foot in the Grave
The Meldrews pet-sit a tortoise
9.40 One Foot in the Grave Victor
starts work on a sitcom script
10.20 One Foot in the Grave
11.00 The Best of Tommy Cooper
11.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
12.00-12.30am The Best of Tommy
Cooper With Eric Sykes
7.00pm Police Interceptors
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
9.00 World’s Wildest Flights The
US Airways flight that landed in
New York’s Hudson River
10.00 Undercover: Nailing the
Fraudsters Paul Connolly
investigates phishing, one of
Britain’s fastest-growing scams
11.00-1.00am FILM Flight of Fury
(15, 2007) A former special agent
fleeing his bosses is sent to recover
a top-secret stealth bomber. Action
thriller starring Steven Seagal
7.00pm World’s Most Dangerous
Roads Rhod Gilbert and Greg
Davies drive through Nepal
8.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is
Goodish The comedian shares his
absurd take on modern fatherhood
9.00 Room 101 With Des O’Connor,
Adrian Chiles and Jameela Jamil
9.40 Room 101 With David Tennant
and Trevor McDonald
10.20 Room 101 With Noel Fielding,
Ian Wright and Joanna Scanlan
11.00 Live at the Apollo
12.00-1.00am QI XL
6.40pm FBI Takedowns A
cop-shooting fugitive terrorises
banks in South Jersey
7.50 World War II: Saving the
Reality Documentary about
Kenneth W Rendell’s museum
9.00 The Ghost Army How a US
Army unit used inflatable tanks
during the Second World War
10.15 The War Hitler takes an
enormous gamble as Nazi forces
fight the war on two fronts
11.30-12.45am World War II: Saving
the Reality Documentary
7.00pm Elvis Presley: A Legend in
Concert Early performances
8.00 Portrait Artist of the Year
2018 The three remaining artists
compete in the final
9.00 Portrait Artist of the Year
2018: The Winner’s Story The
winner paints a portrait of Kim
Cattrall. Last in the series
10.00 Discovering: Leslie Caron
11.00 Tarzan: The Man Behind the
Legend The character’s evolution
12.00-1.00am Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 The final
7.00pm The Real A&E A father is
rushed to hospital after a fire
7.30 The Real A&E
8.00 Elementary Kitty Winter
returns, bearing a warning
9.00 Chicago Fire Brett and
Dawson go undercover
10.00 How to Get Away with
Murder Laurel’s father arrives in
town to help as private details
regarding her past are revealed
11.00 Criminal Minds
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 American Dad!
10.30 American Dad!
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Fast N’ Loud
9.00 Motor Mega Week 2018
Builds And Race Both of the teams
face chassis problems
10.00 Gold Rush: White Water
11.00 Gold Rush Last in the series
11.30-12.30am Gold Rush: Beets v
Parker A look at the fierce rivalry
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
8.00 Area 51: I Was There
9.00 Chain of Command
Documentary about the US army
10.00 My Fighting Season Combat
footage from Afghanistan
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Air Crash
Investigation
7.00pm Friends
7.30 Friends
8.00 The Middle
8.30 Life in Pieces
9.00 FILM Just Go with It (12, 2011)
Romantic comedy starring Adam
Sandler and Jennifer Aniston
11.00 The Chris Ramsey Show
11.45-12.10am Impractical Jokers
6.40pm Dad’s Army
7.20 Dad’s Army
8.00 dinnerladies
8.40 dinnerladies
9.30 Gavin & Stacey
10.10 Live at the Apollo
11.05 Gimme Gimme Gimme
11.45-12.25am Gimme Gimme
Gimme Tom gets engaged
7.00pm MasterChef Junior USA
A dish with one of three proteins
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Who Do You Think You Are?
USA New series. Courteney Cox
traces her ancestry
10.00 999 Rescue Squad
11.00 Rent a Cop
11.40-12.20am Rent a Cop
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.00pm Inconceivable (15, 2017)
A mother tries to escape her
abusive past by moving to a new
town. Thriller with Gina Gershon
8.00 Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) A mechanic
continues his fight against the evil
Decepticons. Fantasy adventure
starring Mark Wahlberg
10.40-12.20am Eat Locals (15,
2017) Vampire overlords fight for
survival against a team determined
to destroy them. Horror comedy
starring Mackenzie Crook
6.00pm I Am Number Four (12,
2011) Sci-fi thriller starring Alex
Pettyfer and Timothy Olyphant
8.00 The Frighteners (15, 1996)
A conman tackles a supernatural
serial killer. Peter Jackson’s
comedy horror with Michael J Fox
and Dee Wallace Stone
10.00 Don’t Look Now (18, 1973)
Supernatural thriller with Donald
Sutherland and Julie Christie
11.55-2.05am The Bourne Identity
(12, 2002) Thriller starring Matt
Damon and Franka Potente
6.10pm Night at the Museum:
Battle of the Smithsonian (PG,
2009) A reanimated pharaoh plans
to take over the world. Fantasy
comedy sequel starring Ben Stiller
8.00 The Karate Kid (PG, 2010) An
American boy living in China learns
the skills to defend himself. Martial
arts drama starring Jaden Smith
10.25-12.35am Willow (PG, 1988) A
farmer protects a baby destined to
bring about the downfall of an evil
queen. Fantasy adventure starring
Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer
5.25pm The Matrix Reloaded (15,
2003) A party of freedom fighters
journeys into the virtual world of
the Matrix to end the war. Sci-fi
sequel starring Keanu Reeves
7.45 The Matrix Revolutions (15,
2003) Freedom fighters Neo and
Trinity battle to bring the conflict
to an end. Conclusion of the sci-fi
trilogy starring Keanu Reeves
10.00-12.15am John Wick: Chapter
2 (15, 2017) The hitman goes on
another murderous rampage.
Action sequel with Keanu Reeves
6.45pm Schindler’s List (15, 1993)
A German businessman tries to
save Jews from the Holocaust.
Steven Spielberg’s fact-based
drama starring Liam Neeson
10.00 T2: Trainspotting (18, 2017)
After 20 years abroad, Mark
Renton returns to Scotland. Drama
starring Ewan McGregor
12.00-2.35am Inglourious
Basterds (18, 2009) American
soldiers in France assist a plot to
kill Adolf Hitler. Second World War
adventure starring Brad Pitt
Donald Sutherland stars in
Nicolas Roeg’s 1973 thriller Don’t
Look Now (Sky Greats, 10pm)
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 39
1G R
Tuesday 20
Sports guide
Live Tennis
BT Sport 1, 4pm
Radio guide
Radio 1
Day one of the WTA Miami
Open, the largest tennis event
on the women’s tour outside
of the grand slams. Last year
Britain’s Johanna Konta,
pictured, lifted the trophy,
beating Caroline Wozniacki in
the final. It was the biggest title
of her career and she became
world No 4 soon after. However,
Konta is out of form, having
won just eight matches since
reaching the semi-finals of
Wimbledon last summer. JC
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Greg James 7.00 Annie Mac
9.00 Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Annie
Nightingale 3.00 Radio 1
Comedy: Ed & Lauren Get On
4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
7.30am LIVE ICC Cricket
World Cup Qualifier
Coverage of a qualifier
3.30pm Sky Sports News
5.00 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6
7.00 Sky Sports Tonight
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00-2.00am LIVE WWE
Late Night Smackdown
Spectacular wrestling action
5.00-7.10 LIVE International
Netball: Jamaica v Fiji
(Centre-pass 5.10) Coverage
of the opening match of the
Tani Jamison Trophy
Sky Sports Premier
League
3.30 Football’s Greatest
Teams Santos
4.00 Scottish Cup Greatest
Games Rangers v Celtic
4.30 La Liga Greatest Games
5.00 MLS Round-Up Show
5.30 Football Countdowns
6.00 SPFL Round-Up
6.15 SPFL Greatest Games
6.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits
7.00 MLS Round-Up Show
7.30 Football Countdowns
8.00 Eredivisie Round-Up
9.00 League 2 Play-Off Final
16/17 Blackpool v Exeter City
10.00 Revista De La Liga
10.30 La Liga World
11.00 MLS Round-Up Show
11.30 La Liga Icons
12.00-12.30am Revista De La
Liga The latest matches
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
9.00am PL Highlights
9.30 PL 100 Club
10.00 PL Daily
11.00 The Debate
12.00 PL Best Goals 04/05
1.00pm PL Review
2.00 The Debate
3.00 PL Years
5.00 PL Highlights
6.30 PL Best Goals 07/08
7.30 PL Review
8.30 Best PL Goals:
Merseyside Derby
9.00 PL Review
10.00 The Debate
11.00 PL Review
12.00-1.00am PL Best Goals
00/01 Memorable strikes
7.15am-3.30pm LIVE ICC
Cricket World Cup Qualifier
Coverage of a qualifier
Sky Sports Football
BT Sport 1
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
9.00am Revista De La Liga
9.30 Eredivisie Round-Up
10.30 Football’s Greatest
Players George Weah
11.00 One2Eleven:
Stephen Carr
11.15 One2Eleven:
Andy Townsend
11.30 SPFL Greatest Games
12.00 SPFL Round-Up
12.15pm SPFL Greatest
Games Celtic v Rangers
12.30 Soccer AM: The Best
Bits A look at some of the
highlights of Saturday’s show
1.00 MLS Round-Up Show
1.30 La Liga Icons
2.00 SPFL Round-Up
2.15 SPFL Greatest Games
2.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits
3.00 Football’s Greatest
Players A profile of Rivaldo
4.00pm-12.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis Day one of the Miami
Open, the largest tennis event
in the world outside of the
Grand Slams. Previous
winners include Serena
Williams, Victoria Azarenka
and Kim Clijsters
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
5.00am-7.10 LIVE
International Netball:
Jamaica v Fiji
(Centre-pass 5.10)
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
Midnight-2.00am LIVE WWE
Late Night Smackdown
Spectacular wrestling action
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
Midnight-2.30am LIVE NBA:
Boston Celtics v Oklahoma
City Thunder (Tip-off 12.00)
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
2.45pm-4.15 LIVE Cycling:
Tour of Catalunya Coverage
of stage two
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce
12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm
Steve Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 Jamie Cullum 8.00 Jo
Whiley 10.00 Bill Kenwright’s
Golden Years 11.00 Nigel
Ogden 11.30 Listen to the Band
12.00 Sounds of the 80s (r)
2.00am Radio 2’s Folk Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Debussy
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Debussy (Violin
Sonata; Étude No 9, pour les
Notes répétées; Des pas sur la
neige; Ce qu’a vu le Vent
d’Ouest — Préludes, Book 1);
and Pizzetti (Violin Sonata)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Elgar (Introduction and
Allegro, Op 47); Dvořák (Cello
Concerto, Op 104); Sibelius
(Symphony No 4, Op 63);
Giancarlo Castro (Trumpet
Concerto — first performance);
Piazzolla (Winter in Buenos
Aires); and Bartók (Concerto
for Orchestra)
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
The European premiere of a
new review of the work of
Stephen Sondheim
10.00 Free Thinking Festival.
See Choice
10.45 The Free Thinking Essay
11.00 Late Junction
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in
Parliament
9.00 Civilisation:
A Sceptic’s Guide
9.30 One to One (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Keywords for Our Time
10.00 Woman’s Hour At 10.45
the Drama: Delphine de Vigan’s
Based on a True Story (2/5)
Today’s picks
Sibelius: A Symphony
that Burned
Radio 4 Extra, 8.30pm
Free Thinking Festival —
Power to the People?
Radio 3, 10pm
If you want to really cut a dash
as a creative then chuck your
art in a fire. However interested
the public may be in works an
artist has produced they are
infinitely more interested in
those that have been destroyed
(or almost): Byron’s memoirs;
works of William Blake; the first draft of Jekyll and Hyde . . . This
programme looks at another scorched work, a musical one:
Sibelius’s Eighth Symphony. Sibelius, pictured, ordered any
rough sketches of his works to be burnt after his death, lest
they be exhumed and presented as “Sibelius’s last thoughts”.
He also partially charred this one — though not completely,
hence this programme. Here, the writer Peggy Reynolds tells
the symphony’s story, with contributions from the conductor
Mark Elder and music from the Helsinki Philharmonic
Orchestra, which plays extracts of what’s left. Catherine Nixey
The end of history. That was
prophesied in the 1990s when
it was assumed that
democracy would spread
around the world, improving
lives, ending wars and getting
more people into education.
Except, somehow, democracy
seems to be alarmingly in
retreat. And so too, in the age
of Twitter outrage, does free
speech. Here Rod Liddle, the
academic David Runciman
and the head of a think tank,
Caroline Macfarland, discuss
whether democracy can
survive the democratisation
of speech. CN
11.00 Aftermath (3/3)
11.30 Perfect Husband,
Pitiable Artist
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 Four Seasons
12.17 Call You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.43 Four Seasons
1.45 Book of the Week:
The Wood
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: The Ferryhill
Philosophers (2/2)
3.00 Short Cuts (6/8)
3.30 Costing the Earth
4.02 Law in Action (4/4)
4.30 A Good Read
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
5.58 Four Seasons
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Love in Recovery (r)
7.00 The Archers
Will attempts a brave face
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Based on a True Story (r)
8.00 File on 4 (10/10)
8.40 In Touch
9.00 Inside Health
9.30 Civilisation:
A Sceptic’s Guide (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Reservoir 13
By Jon McGregor (2/10)
11.00 Time Spanner (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
11.55 Four Seasons
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Wood (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
talkSPORT
BBC World Service
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
Digital only
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast 10.00 Jim
White, Micky Gray and Bob
Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham
and Darren Gough 7.00 Live
Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with
Adam Catterall
9.00am News 9.06 The
Forum 9.50 Sporting Witness
10.00 World Update 11.00
The Newsroom 11.30 In the
Studio 12.00 News 12.06pm
Outlook 1.00 The Newsroom
1.30 The Documentary 2.00
Newshour 3.00 News 3.06
BBC World Hacks 3.30
Business 4.00 BBC OS 6.00
News 6.06 Outlook 7.00 The
Newsroom 7.30 Sport Today
8.00 News 8.06 The
Documentary 8.30 Click
9.00 Newshour 10.00 The
Newsroom 10.20 Sports
News 10.30 Business 11.00
News 11.06 BBC World Hacks
11.30 In the Studio 12.00
News 12.06am The
Documentary 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 The Documentary 3.00
News 3.06 HARDtalk 3.30
The Compass 4.00 News
4.06 Outlook
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 5 Live Breakfast
10.00 Emma Barnett 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 7.30 5
Live Sport 8.30 5 Live Sport:
Euro Football 9.30 5 Live
Boxing with Costello & Bunce
10.30 Phil Williams
1.00am Up All Night
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Ken Dodd Show
8.30 The Men from the
Ministry 9.00 The Now Show
9.30 Turf Wars 10.00 The Raj
Quartet 11.00 Short Works:
The World of Somerset
Maugham 11.15 Tommies
12.00 The Ken Dodd Show
12.30pm The Men from the
Ministry 1.00 A Charles Paris
Mystery: An Amateur Corpse
1.30 Sibelius: A Symphony
That Burned 2.00 The Norfolk
Mystery 2.15 Laurence
Llewelyn-Bowen’s History of
Home 2.30 The Old Curiosity
Shop 2.45 The North (and
Almost Everything in It) 3.00
The Raj Quartet 4.00 The
Personality Test 4.30 Such
Rotten Luck 5.00 Stockport,
So Good They Named It Once
5.30 Sara Pascoe: The
Modern Monkey 6.00 The
Destruction Factor 6.30
Pioneers 7.00 The Ken Dodd
Show 7.30 The Men from the
Ministry 8.00 A Charles Paris
Mystery: An Amateur Corpse
8.30 Sibelius: A Symphony
That Burned. See Choice
9.00 Short Works: The World
of Somerset Maugham 9.15
Tommies 10.00 Comedy Club:
Sara Pascoe: The Modern
Monkey 10.30 Elvis
McGonagall Takes a Look on
the Bright Side 10.45 Richard
Marsh: Love and Sweets 10.55
The Comedy Club Interview
11.00 Warhorses of Letters
11.15 Poets’ Tree 11.30 Arthur
Smith’s Balham Bash
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Lauren Laverne
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe
and Stuart Maconie 4.00
Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc
Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe
12.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00am Punk Lyrics with
Murray Lachlan Young
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 John Suchet
1.00pm Aled Jones 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00
Smooth Classics 8.00 The
Full Works Concert. A concert
that demonstrates the
Bavarian Radio Symphony
Orchestra’s virtuosity. Pieces
by Bach, Mozart and
Schumann 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
40 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Wednesday 21 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice
The Secret Helpers
BBC Two, 8pm
“Imagine if, during one of the
toughest weeks of your life,
you could have the support
of wise strangers from around
the world.” So runs the intro
to this new BBC reality series
in which people are guided
through tough times by
overseas mentors. The
participants’ homes are rigged
with cameras, they are made
to wear an earpiece day and
night and, at random intervals,
one of a number of life
coaches will babble advice at
them. Also, their friends and
family don’t know that they
are being tutored via earpiece
(presumably they think
they’ve had an accident with a
tube of superglue and a
Bluetooth headset). It’s a fairly
naked attempt to tug at the
heartstrings. The two mentees
tonight include a father with
premature newborn twins and
a bridegroom who is
determined to deliver the
perfect wedding speech
despite recovering from a
double stroke and resulting
chronic tiredness that renders
him drunk with exhaustion.
Cue plenty of footage of
mentors being overwhelmed
by heartfelt moments: Lillian,
a Scandinavian nutritionist,
pictured, bawls along to a
bridal march, while a pair of
tough-guy New York ex-cops
coo, “Look how small!” at the
babies. It’s a light, upbeat
watch where you suspect that
the coaches get as much out
of it as their students. One
thing: is it just coincidence
that this feelgood show also
happens to have a soundtrack
that is so indistinguishable
from that of Channel 4’s First
Dates that you expect Fred
Sirieix to wander on screen?
And if so, how come they also
have nigh-on identical outro
updates on participants’ lives
since filming? Alexi Duggins
Further recommendations
In Faking It volunteers are given four weeks to master a new
skill, assisted by experts, Pygmalion-style. Episodes are on All4
Hardest Road Home The Assassination
BBC One, 9pm
of Gianni Versace
Make! Craft Britain Damned
BBC Four, 9pm
Channel 4, 10pm
Last May Zoë Ball’s partner,
Billy Yates, a 40-year-old
cameraman, committed suicide
after struggling for years with
depression. In his memory the
Strictly presenter and Radio 2
DJ is taking on a daunting
challenge to raise awareness of
mental health issues as part of
Sport Relief — cycling the 350
miles from her birthplace of
Blackpool to her home town of
Brighton. The cameras follow
novice cyclist Ball on her
journey as she battles physical
fatigue and the scale of the
task she has undertaken,
with the odd cycling
companion and occasional
tumble along the way. Joe Clay
After a one-off in 2016, Martha
Kearney presents the first of
a gentle three-part series
celebrating all things
handmade. Each episode
features two workshops taking
place across the country,
starting tonight with Heather
Ritchie helping six novices to
get to grips with the tricky art
of hooky rug making, while the
typographer Kelvyn Smith
invites five students into his
studio for a masterclass in
letterpress printmaking. In the
grand tradition of Blue Peter
there’s something for viewers
to try at home as Sam Tsang
shows you how to make
an origami lily. JC
It’s the final visit to Elm Heath
Social Services for this series
and there are a few surprises,
not least for the 14-year-old
girl who gives birth in the
school toilets. Rose gets a
shock when she finds out
that the girl’s mum is a
“legendary nightmare” she
helped to put behind bars.
Meanwhile, Al is planning on
handing in his notice to
manage holiday cottages on a
Scottish island. And — biggest
surprise of all — Rose is happy
with Dennis. “It’s so nice
spending time with someone
and not wanting to rip off their
scrotum and create a collage
with it,” she says. JC
Catch
up
Lucy Worsley’s Fireworks
for a Tudor Queen
BBC iPlayer, to April 6
Lucy Worsley, pictured,
claims that this jaunt into
fireworks of the past is
an attempt to “get a
better understanding of
the Elizabethan mind”,
but it is really an exercise
in making history
interesting to
pyromaniacs. Over
90 minutes she
painstakingly tries
to recreate the
exact 1575 firework
BBC Two, 9pm
Andrew Cunanan is staying
with David Madson, a former
lover who has rejected
Cunanan’s marriage proposal.
Cunanan believes another
friend, Jeff Trail, is the reason
why. So far we have only seen
Cunanan in full fantasist serial
killer mode, but in this episode
Darren Criss shows more of his
character’s vulnerability — up
to a point. Trail’s murder is
savage. No one knows what
happened next, so the writer
Tom Rob Smith decides on the
narrative that ends up with the
one thing we do know: Madson
was Cunanan’s next victim. JC
display given for Elizabeth I at
Kenilworth Castle, featuring
illuminated dragons, shooting
stars and enough unexpected
explosions to provoke a panic
attack in the BBC’s health and
safety team. The real fun
comes from the adventures
of Worsley’s sidekick, the
materials scientist Zoe
Laughlin, who goes to
a factory to recreate
fireworks of bygone years.
Rockets detonate on
launchpads, smokefilled laboratories
have to be vacated
and nervy technicians
are repeatedly caught
on camera taking
cover behind
each other.
Alexi Duggins
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
9.00pm-10.00 Gareth Thomas’ Silver
Skydivers for Sport Relief 10.40 Zoe Ball’s
Hardest Road Home 11.40 A Question
of Sport 12.10am Film 2018 12.45 FILM
Short Term 12 (2013) 2.15-2.20 Weather
for the Week Ahead
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm Nolan Live 11.40 A Question of
Sport 12.10am Film 2018 12.40 FILM
Short Term 12 (2013) 2.10-6.00 BBC News
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
9.55pm Spotlight (r) 10.25-10.30 The
Archiveologists 11.15-12.15am Gareth
Thomas’ Silver Skydivers for Sport Relief
● BBC1 Scotland As BBC One except:
9.00pm-10.00 Sport Relief: The Big
TRY-Athlon 10.45 Zoe Ball’s Hardest Road
Home 11.45 A Question of Sport 12.15am
Film 2018 12.45 FILM Short Term 12
(2013) 2.15 Weather for the Week Ahead
2.20-6.00 BBC News
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
1.30pm Monty Halls’ Great Irish Escape (r)
2.30 Politics Scotland 3.15 Yes Chef (r)
4.00 Planet Earth. Tropical rainforests (r)
5.00-6.00 Spy in the Wild (r)
● Channel As ITV except: 1.25am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland
Tonight 11.05 Sunday Night at the
Palladium (r) 12.05am Teleshopping 1.05
After Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.35
Jeremy Kyle (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Rare
Breed: A Farming Year 10.45 Love Your
Garden. With Alan Titchmarsh 11.15-11.45
Britain’s Brightest Family 1.25am
Teleshopping 2.55-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Crwydro (r) 12.30 Cefn
Gwlad (r) 1.30 Mamwlad gyda Ffion
Hague (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Pobol y Glannau (r)
4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05
Boom! 5.15 Dennis a Dannedd (r) 5.25
Dewi a’r Ditectifs Gwyllt (r) 5.35 Fi yw’r
Bos (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05
Her yr Hinsawdd (r) 6.30 Mwy o Sgorio
7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm 8.25
Celwydd Noeth. Presented by Nia Roberts
9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30 Ar Werth
10.00 Camu O’r Cysgodion: Louise Weiss
10.30 Y Ditectif (r) 11.00-11.35 999:
Ambiwlans Awyr Cymru (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
A Walk Among the Tombstones (15, 2014)
Channel 5, 9pm
Only Liam Neeson can give off such world-weary ennui just
before going into action. This is one of his better films, certainly
compared with the Taken series. Neeson plays a former cop who
takes to private detective work and Alcoholics Anonymous. The
initial scene, in which a barman automatically lines up a black
coffee and two shots of whiskey for Neeson, is delightfully
predictable. Based on the Lawrence Block novel, the thriller has
two men cruising the streets picking up women in a blacked-out
van and engaging in kidnapping and perversion. While the plot is
nothing new, Neeson is endlessly watchable. (114min) Kate Muir
Eyes Without
a Face (15, 1960)
Film4, 1.40am
Georges Franju’s horror oddity
is a film that’s hard to categorise,
mixing a fairytale atmosphere
with Grand Guignol shocks. Pierre
Brasseur exudes cold composure
as a plastic surgeon obsessed
with restoring the face of his
masked daughter (Edith Scob), who has been left disfigured after
a car accident. Helped by a former patient (Alida Valli), he lures
women to his mansion, where he performs ghastly surgical
procedures on their faces. When the experiments go wrong,
the daughter descends into madness and the doctor is destined
for a grisly fate. It’s the image of Scob — her face a blank mask,
yet her eyes conveying unbearable misery, pictured — that sticks
with you. (84min) James Jackson
Short Term 12 (15, 2013)
BBC One 11.45pm
Destin Daniel Cretton’s drama set in a residential home for at-risk
teenagers is wonderfully fresh. The troubled-teen genre is one that
has been overused by film-makers, so you could be forgiven for
approaching this with caution. The central characters are bent out
of shape by the kinds of childhoods that stunt rather than nurture.
This, it becomes clear, is as much true for supervisor Grace (Brie
Larson) as it is for her charges — her dedication belies a bruised
soul. The bracing naturalism of the performances makes this
feel like an honest and energetic portrayal of mental-health
professionals and the people they care for. (96min) Wendy Ide
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 41
1G R
Wednesday 21
Also available online and on tablet
Digital subscribers can now use our interactive seven-day
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thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back
the Years 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (r) 11.00 The Sheriffs Are
Coming 11.45 Caught Red Handed (r)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (r) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather 1.45 Doctors.
Ruhma helps Ashley’s wife Helen deal
with a crisis 2.15 A Place to Call Home.
Douglas passes away suddenly after
a party in the ground of Ash Park 3.10
Escape to the Country. Sonali Shah
goes house hunting in Cheshire (r)
3.45 Money for Nothing. Sarah Moore
transforms three items from the
Witley Recycling Centre in Surrey
4.30 Flog It! Some of the best unseen
finds from the show’s valuation days
(r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show (r) 6.00
BBC News at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather
6.00am The Repair Shop (r) 6.30
Holding Back the Years (r) 7.15 The
Sheriffs Are Coming (r) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Great British Railway Journeys
(r) (SL) 8.30 Classic Mary Berry (r)
(SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00
BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 Daily
Politics 1.00pm Lifeline (r) 1.10 Coast
(r) 1.30 Yes Chef (r) 2.15 Monty Halls’
Great Irish Escape (r) 3.15 Planet
Earth. Varied species in the world’s
tropical rainforests (r) 4.15 Spy in the
Wild. How animals rely upon each
other (r) 5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is. Eric Knowles goes
head to head with Ochuko Ojiri at
an auction in Colchester (r) 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz hosted by Jeremy
Vine 6.30 The Repair Shop. The
team restore a clock made from the
propeller of a First World War plane
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose
Women. Another helping of topical
studio discussion from a female
perspective 1.30 ITV News; Weather
1.55 Regional News; Weather 2.00
Judge Rinder. Cameras follow the
criminal barrister Robert Rinder as he
takes on real-life cases in a studio
courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal.
David Dickinson and the team head
to Oxford, where Jon O’Marah tries
to buy an Islamic dagger and Tim
Hogarth puts a bid in for one of his
favourite things (r) 4.00 Tipping
Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz show 5.00 The
Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley
Walsh 6.00 Regional News; Weather
6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun 5.00 Four
in a Bed. The third visit of the week is
to the Angel Guest House in Devon (r)
5.30 Star Boot Sale. Made in Chelsea
star Sam Thompson sells unwanted
items for charity 6.00 The Simpsons.
With the guest voice of Edward
Norton (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Darren and
Nancy continue to have difficulties
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.10
Access 1.15 Home and Away 1.45
Neighbours 2.15 NCIS. The agents
investigate the private life of a
murdered Navy captain (r) 3.15 FILM
McBride: The Chameleon Murder
(PG, TVM, 2005) The lawyer
investigates a hitch-hiker accused of
killing a woman — but the victim turns
out to have a plethora of identities.
Crime drama starring John
Larroquette and Marta DuBois 5.00
5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Mishti
forces Rafael to admit he was
involved in Leo’s accident (r) 6.00
Home and Away. Maggie throws
herself into work while waiting for her
biopsy results (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Brie Larson in Short Term 12 (11.45pm)
Spy in the Wild (4.15pm)
Norman Hale guest stars (9pm)
Love & Other Drugs (1.25am)
Liam Neeson stars (9pm)
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker
and Alex Jones present the
magazine show featuring
reports from around the UK
7.00 Saving Lives at Sea As the
summer sun comes out, so do
the funseekers, and in Southend
a family of five sightseeing a
mile off shore is caught
out by the tide (10/12) (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Liv receives
life-changing news
7.00 Channel 4 News Including sport
and weather
7.00 MotoGP Highlights The
MotoGP Grand Prix of Qatar.
Action from the opening round
of the season at Losail
International Circuit in Doha;
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 MasterChef The last group of
amateur cooks are challenged
to invent a dish using a choice
of ingredients including lamb
loin, chicken thighs, scallops,
salmon fillets and prawns
8.00 The Secret Helpers New series.
Ten people welcome the
support and advice of strangers
from all over the world through
a secret in-ear device, as they
face a series of challenges.
See Viewing Guide (1/5)
8.00 Britain’s Brightest Family
Two families compete in the
second of the quarter-finals
8.00 The Supervet Professor Noel
Fitzpatrick treats a Labrador
puppy with an elbow disease,
and a one-year-old cat is
brought in with a crushed
pelvis and a broken tail (4/6)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors
Husband and wife Telisha and
Mark bring in their baby boy
for a post-natal check-up, and a
man whose skin and eyes have
turned yellow is treated;
followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Zoë Ball’s Hardest Road Home
The presenter embarks on
a five-day cycle ride from
Blackpool to Brighton to raise
money for Sport Relief and
highlight how the charity
supports mental health
projects. See Viewing Guide
9.00 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew Cunanan lures Jeff Trail
to the loft-apartment of his
lover and bludgeons him to
death. See Viewing Guide (4/9)
9.00 Benidorm Joyce is furious with
Monty after a chaotic evening
of magic, but a chance meeting
with a legendary entertainer
might get him his job back (4/9)
9.00 One Born Every Minute Ashley
and his partner Gemma await
the arrival of their fourth child
together, while Sunny and Shay,
who met on the set of a
Bollywood film, are expecting
their first child (3/10)
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.00 Damned Rose is smitten with
Dennis. Last in the series.
See Viewing Guide
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.35 24 Hours in Police Custody
Cameras follow a police search
for a couple who are believed to
have exploited a vulnerable
woman by taking over her flat
to use it as a drugs base (r)
9.00 FILM A Walk Among the
Tombstones (15, 2014) An ex
cop working as an unlicensed
private eye is hired by a drug
trafficker to find the men who
murdered his wife. As the
detective investigates the case,
he discovers the men he is
tracking have killed many
times before and takes
desperate measures to stop
them claiming another victim.
Crime thriller based on
Lawrence Block’s novel,
starring Liam Neeson and Dan
Stevens. See Film Choice
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
9.55 Live at the Apollo Katherine
Ryan comperes an evening of
stand-up, with Henning Wehn
and James Acaster (5/7) (r)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events with Emily Maitlis
10.45 A Question of Sport With Ricky
Hatton, Tim Bresnan, Asha
Philip and Michael Jamieson
11.15 Film 2018 Reviews of the films
A Wrinkle in Time, Unsane, and
Pacific Rim Uprising (4/5)
11.45 FILM Short Term 12 (15, 2013)
A counsellor at a foster care
centre deals with her own
troubled past while helping
the residents face an uncertain
future. Drama starring Brie
Larson and John Gallagher Jr.
See Film Choice
1.15am Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.20 BBC News
11.15 Famously Unfit for Sport Relief
Les Dennis, Susannah
Constantine, Tameka Empson
and Miles Jupp embark on a
muscle-grinding mission to
regain their fitness (r)
12.15am David Attenborough’s Natural
Curiosities. The naturalist investigates
whether animals and plants have an
awareness of mathematics (r) 12.45
Sign Zone: MasterChef (r) (SL)
1.45-2.45 The World’s Most
Extraordinary Homes (r) (SL)
7.30 Coronation Street Fiz is
horrified when a wound up
Tyrone smacks Ruby
8.30 Coronation Street Fiz confesses
to Tyrone that Hope has been
causing the recent problems
10.45 easyJet: Inside the Cockpit
Documentary following new
recruits as they train to become
fully qualified pilots, tracking
the candidates from the
classroom to the simulator and
their first flight (1/2) (r)
11.45 Heathrow: Inside Britain’s
Busiest Airport Behind the
scenes of the airport (1/3) (r)
12.35am Stuck on You: The Football
Sticker Story. Documentary about the
founding of a multi-billion pound
industry (r) 1.25 Jackpot247 3.00
Tenable. Quiz hosted by Warwick
Davis (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
11.35 999: On the Frontline
A 17-year-old with a suspected
bleed on the brain (2/10)
12.30am Pokerstars Championship
Cash Challenge 1.25 FILM Love &
Other Drugs (15, 2010) Romantic
comedy drama with Jake Gyllenhaal
(SL) 3.20 The Question Jury (r) 4.10
Coast vs Country (r) 5.05 Location,
Location, Location (r) (SL)
11.20 FILM The Equalizer (15, 2014)
An ex-secret agent fights to
bring down a crime syndicate
after coming to the aid of an
abused prostitute. Action
thriller with Denzel Washington
1.45am SuperCasino 3.10 Cowboy
Builders. Catching up with a man
with a flooded bathroom (r) 4.00
Tribal Teens (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor. An Edinburgh mansion gets a
makeover (r) (SL) 5.10 House Busters
(r) (SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
42 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Wednesday 21 | Primetime digital guide
About A Boy
Hugh Grant stars in the film
adaptation of Nick Hornby’s
bestselling book
Film4, 6.55pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Secret Knowledge: The
Private Life of a Dolls’
House Exploring the history
of dolls’ houses (R)
8.00 Metalworks! The Golden
Age of Silver The
importance of metals in
British history (R)
9.00 Make! Craft Britain
New series. A programme
celebrating all things
handmade. See Viewing
Guide
10.00 Carved with Love:
The Genius of British
Woodwork A profile of
furniture designer Thomas
Chippendale (R)
11.00 Britain’s Outlaws:
Highwaymen, Pirates and
Rogues Piracy during the
early 18th century (R)
12.00-1.00am Treasures of
Ancient Greece Western
civilisation’s love affair
with Greek art (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote A fan
assumes Jessica’s identity to
investigate goings-on at a
dog show, and the crime
writer is mistakenly
reported dead (R)
8.00 Endeavour The detective
discovers dark secrets in a
family-run supermarket, as
he investigates a possible
connection to a fire that
killed an artist (R)
10.00 Law & Order: UK Ronnie and
Joe find a skeleton that has
been hidden inside the boot
of a car in the River Thames,
and discover the man’s
death dates back to the
1980s Brixton riots (R)
11.00-12.05am Law & Order: UK
The hunt for the killer
of a seemingly innocent
family man brings Ronnie
into contact with his old
boss, former DI Natalie
Chandler, whose father is
accused of the crime (R)
6.55pm The Supervet A Great
Dane comes to the clinic
needing major spinal
surgery, and a Labrador has
a leg tumour that may
require amputation (R)
7.55 Grand Designs Kevin
McCloud revisits one of the
programme’s first projects,
in which a couple tried to
convert a water tower in
Buckinghamshire (R)
9.00 Vet on the Hill An English
bull terrier called Dylan is
put on a weight loss regime,
and Dr Scott has to perform
surgery on his own dog
10.00 Britain’s Polar Bear Cub
Efforts to breed the nation’s
first polar bear cub for
25 years at the Highland
Wildlife Park near Kingussie
in Inverness-shire (R)
11.05-12.10am 8 Out of 10 Cats
Does Countdown With Joe
Wilkinson, Seann Walsh and
Danny Dyer (R)
6.55pm FILM About a Boy (12,
2002) A womaniser who
poses as a father to meet
single women changes his
ways after befriending a
lonely youngster. Romantic
comedy starring Hugh
Grant, Toni Collette, Nicholas
Hoult and Rachel Weisz
9.00 FILM The Wolverine (12,
2013) The former member
of the X-Men travels to
Japan, and protects a
tycoon’s granddaughter
from assassins. Superhero
adventure spin-off, starring
Hugh Jackman, Tao
Okamoto, Rila Fukushima
and Hiroyuki Sanada
11.25-1.40am FILM RoboCop (12,
2014) A critically injured
police officer is rebuilt as a
crime-fighting cyborg, but
struggles to retain free will.
Sci-fi thriller remake starring
Joel Kinnaman, Gary
Oldman and Michael Keaton
7.00pm The Simpsons Homer,
Marge and the kids have
biblical dreams (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer
becomes an artist (R)
8.00 DC’s Legends of Tomorrow
Damien and Nora Darhk
kidnap Ray and force him to
fix the fire totem
9.00 A League of Their Own With
Joe Hart, Kevin Pietersen
and Josh Widdicombe (R)
10.00 Bliss Andrew realises Kris is
about to start a job at his
other house and goes to
extreme lengths to keep
him away. Last in the series
10.30 A League of Their Own:
Unseen Out-takes from the
eighth series (R)
11.00 The Force: Essex Cops in
Southend carry out a series
of dawn drugs raids (R)
12.00-1.00am Ross Kemp:
Extreme World The actor
investigates racial tension in
Austin, Texas (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation An apparent
Mob assassination leaves
five people dead, and a deaf
man is killed in what seems
to have been an accident (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods A convicted
killer agrees to show Danny
where he dumped the
bodies of a series of
homicide victims (R)
9.00 Save Me A recording of a
999 call from Jody is traced
to Streatham, while Nelly
finds a unique way of
locating the property his
daughter was held in
10.00 SMILF Nelson persuades
Bridgette to use
visualisation techniques to
improve her life
10.35 SMILF Bridgette, Eliza and
Nelson participate in an
extreme mud run
11.10-12.20am Here and Now
Farid is troubled by his
connection to Ramon (R)
Drama
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Including a boy’s encounter
with an explosive egg
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA There is
an immediate fallout after Josh
and Robyn switch teams
10.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA The chefs
go head-to-head creating pizzas
10.55 Family Guy
11.25 Family Guy
11.55-12.25am Family Guy
6.45pm Live Snooker: Players
Championship Coverage of the
evening session on day three,
featuring the opening best-of-11frames quarter-final from
Venue Cymru, Llandudno
11.00 Lethal Weapon Murtaugh
and Riggs are called to a homicide
only to find the victim is an old
friend, whom it had been hoped
was keeping himself out of trouble
11.55-2.00am Hornblower The end
of the war leaves newly promoted
Captain Hornblower down and out
7.00pm Hollyoaks Leela hears
some devastating news about Peri
7.30 My Hotter Half
8.00 The Goldbergs Adam and
Murray fall out over Adam’s plans
to pursue a comedy career
8.30 The Big Bang Theory
9.00 Don’t Tell the Bride A groom
plans a theme of royal Africa
10.00 Five Star Hotel The group
hosts a 21st birthday party
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.30 The Big Bang Theory
11.55-1.00am First Dates
7.00pm Last Man Standing
7.30 Last Man Standing
8.00 100 Per Cent Hotter A young
man from Yorkshire fears his
outrageous style is putting off
potential suitors. Last in the series
9.00 Riverdale Betty helps
Veronica expose the football
team’s chauvinist behaviour
10.00 FILM Scary Movie (18,
2000) Spoof horror starring
Anna Faris and Carmen Electra
11.50-12.50am Can’t Pay?
We’ll Take It Away
6.35pm The Edgar Wallace
Mystery Theatre A detective
investigates the theft of some
mysterious oriental tablets
7.45 The Great Milk Bottle Mystery
8.00 A Family at War Drama set
during the Second World War
9.00 FILM The Day Will Dawn (U,
1942) A reporter helps Norwegian
freedom fighters. Second World
War adventure with Hugh Williams
11.00-12.45am FILM Forbidden
Cargo (PG, 1954) Drama starring
Nigel Patrick and Elizabeth Sellars
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Billy and Alvin have news for Truly
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Clegg, Truly, Alvin and Billy help a
stranger realise his dream
8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe The
discovery of a man’s body in a
mineshaft reawakens villagers’
suspicions over a girl’s death
10.00 New Tricks The squad
reinvestigates the disappearance
of a political activist
11.20 Birds of a Feather
12.00-1.00am The Bill
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Full Steam Ahead
8.00 The Day When Stalin Won
the War Stalin’s work consolidating
his power base following the
Second World War
9.00 The Best of Tommy Cooper
9.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
10.00 The Best of Tommy Cooper
With special guest Eric Sykes
10.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
11.00 The Two Ronnies Randy
Crawford provides the music
11.55-12.45am The Two Ronnies
Marti Webb provides the music
7.00pm Police Interceptors
8.00 World’s Deadliest Weather:
Caught on Camera Footage
capturing the destruction caused
by severe weather conditions
9.00 FILM Sharknado (15, 2013) A
freak hurricane sweeps thousands
of sharks into the air, bringing a
whirlwind of teeth and terror to
Los Angeles. Slapstick sci-fi horror
starring Ian Ziering and Tara Reid
11.00-12.05am Spartacus: Gods of
the Arena The house of Batiatus is
embroiled in a power struggle
7.00pm World’s Most Dangerous
Roads Ben Fogle and Hugh Dennis
drive through the Peruvian Andes
8.00 Sin City Motors Reality
television show following the car
fabricator Steve Darnell
9.00 Live at the Apollo With Chris
Addison, Al Murray and Tim Vine
10.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life
Is Goodish Dave Gorman asks just
how gullible people are
11.00 Unspun XL with Matt Forde
Extended version of the chat show
12.00-1.00am QI XL
7.00pm FBI Takedowns Agents
need to break a code of silence in a
tough Boston neighbourhood
8.00 Ten Days to Victory Part one
of two. The liberation of Europe , as
seen through the eyes of ten very
different people who lived through
the events of May 1945
9.00 Nazi Law: Legally Blind A
look at how Hitler manipulated
laws to further his agenda
10.15 The War The violence in the
Pacific during early 1945
11.20-12.20am Ten Days to Victory
7.00pm Portrait Artist of the Year
2018 The three remaining artists
compete in the final
8.00 National Treasures: The Art
of Collecting A look at six watches
from a vast collection
9.00 Discovering: Alec Guinness
A profile of the English actor
10.00 Hollywood: No Sex, Please
How film and television reflect
changing attitudes toward sex
11.00-1.00am Black Sabbath: The
End of the End Documentary
charting the band’s last gig
7.00pm The Real A&E A champion
jockey is airlifted to hospital
7.30 The Real A&E A gymnast’s
Olympic dream is threatened
8.00 Elementary Joan and Kitty
look into a string of murders
9.00 Grey’s Anatomy Maggie
invites Clive over for a game night
to meet Meredith and Amelia
10.00 The Good Doctor Shaun
bonds with a young patient
11.00 Criminal Minds
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation
W
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 NCIS Torres and Bishop pose
as criminals to dismantle a
drug-running operation
10.00 Bull
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Tanked
9.00 Motor Mega Week 2018
Builds And Race Tempers flare
when an argument breaks out
10.00 American Chopper New
series. Custom motorcycles
11.30-12.30am Gold Rush: Beets v
Parker A look at the fierce rivalry
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
8.00 Airport Security: Peru Behind
the scenes at Peru’s largest airport
9.00 Airport Security: Colombia
10.00 Border Wars
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Air Crash
Investigation The crash of TANS
Peru Flight 204 in August 2005
7.00pm Friends
8.00 Your Face or Mine New
series. With Chris Hughes
8.30 Bad Robots
9.00 Impractical Jokers
10.00 The Chris Ramsey Show
10.30 Michael McIntyre’s
Showtime
11.30-12.30am Impractical Jokers
6.40pm Dad’s Army
7.20 Dad’s Army
8.00 dinnerladies diaries
Behind-the-scenes of the sitcom
9.00 dinnerladies
9.40 Victoria Wood with All the
Trimmings A festive special
10.55 Absolutely Fabulous
11.35-12.35am Live at the Apollo
7.00pm MasterChef Junior USA
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Embarrassing Bodies
10.00 Dr Christian Will See You
Now A house-bound teenager
11.00 Crime, Carnage & Cancun:
Stacey Dooley Investigates
12.00-1.15am The Secret of
Crickley Hall
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.25pm My Feral Heart (12, 2016)
A young man with Down’s
syndrome meets a young woman
who gives him hope and purpose.
Drama starring Darren Kent
8.00 Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) A mechanic
continues his fight against the evil
Decepticons. Fantasy adventure
starring Mark Wahlberg
10.40-12.20am Eat Locals (15,
2017) Eight vampire overlords fight
for survival. Horror comedy
starring Mackenzie Crook
6.00pm Sweet Home Alabama
(12, 2002) Romantic comedy
starring Reese Witherspoon
8.00 In the Line of Fire (15, 1993)
A secret service agent tries to
outwit a killer plotting to murder
the president. Thriller starring Clint
Eastwood and John Malkovich
10.10 Hallowe’en (18, 1978) Horror
starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Donald
Pleasence and Nick Castle
11.45-1.35am High Plains Drifter
(18, 1973) Western, directed by and
starring Clint Eastwood
6.30pm The Secret Life of Pets
(U, 2016) Animated adventure
featuring the voice of Louis CK
8.00 Alice Through the Looking
Glass (PG, 2016) Alice returns to
the magical world of Underland.
Fantasy adventure sequel starring
Mia Wasikowska and Johnny Depp
10.00 Pete’s Dragon (PG, 2016)
Adventure starring Bryce Dallas
Howard and Robert Redford
11.50-1.30am The Flintstones (U,
1994) Live-action comedy with
John Goodman and Rick Moranis
5.45pm Iron Man 3 (12, 2013) The
armoured avenger faces a terrorist.
Superhero adventure with Robert
Downey Jr and Gwyneth Paltrow
8.00 Logan (15, 2017) Wolverine
and an ailing Professor X find their
worlds turned upside down by a
young mutant. Fantasy adventure
starring Hugh Jackman
10.30-12.30am X-Men Origins:
Wolverine (12, 2009) The mutant
hero returns to his military unit
seeking revenge. Superhero
prequel starring Hugh Jackman
6.30pm Raising Arizona (12, 1987)
A thief and his wife cannot have
children, so kidnap one of a
tycoon’s five babies. Comedy with
Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter
8.10 Christine (15, 2016) The story
of Christine Chubbuck, a
Florida-based local news reporter
who committed suicide live on air
in 1974. Biopic with Rebecca Hall
10.15-12.50am The Departed (18,
2006) Police plant a mole in a
mobster’s crew. Martin Scorsese’s
thriller starring Leonardo DiCaprio
Discovering: Alec Guinness is
a profile of the versatile British
actor (Sky Arts, 9pm)
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 43
1G R
Wednesday 21
Sports guide
Live Test Cricket
Sky Main Event 12.30am
Radio 1
England take on New Zealand
at Eden Park, Auckland, in the
first of two Test matches.
England’s last outing in the
red-ball game was the 4-0 loss
to Australia so Joe Root’s side
will be looking to bounce back
against a talented Black Caps
side, led by Kane Williamson,
pictured. England will be
boosted by the return of
Ben Stokes, who missed
the tour of Australia for
disciplinary reasons. JC
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg
James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Greg James 7.00 Phil Taggart
9.00 Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Benji B
3.00 Radio 1 Comedy
4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
12.00-1.00am Eredivisie
Round-Up
12.30am-6.00 LIVE Test
Cricket: New Zealand v
England The opening day
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce
12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm
Steve Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 The Folk Show 8.00 Jo
Whiley 10.00 Carla Bruni 11.00
Old Grey Whistle Test 40 (r)
12.00 Pick of the Pops (r)
2.00am Radio 2 Playlists
Sky Sports Golf
Radio 3
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
7.10am-8.55 LIVE
International Netball:
New Zealand v Malawi
9.15 My Icon: Chris Powell
9.30 Good Morning Sports
Fans Today’s early stories
10.00 PL Daily
11.00 Sky Sports Daily
12.00 Sky Sports News
3.00pm LIVE ATP Masters
Tennis The Miami Open
6.00 LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
12.00 England v New Zealand
Classics From the archives
12.30am-6.00 LIVE Test
Cricket: New Zealand v
England The opening day
Sky Sports Cricket
Sky Sports Premier
League
7.10am-8.55 LIVE
International Netball:
New Zealand v Malawi
5.00am-7.10 LIVE
International Netball: Fiji v
Malawi (Centre-pass 5.10)
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
Noon PL Review
1.00pm PL 100 Club
2.00 PL Best Goals 04/05
3.00 PL Years
5.00 PL Greatest Games
6.00 PL Review
7.00 PL World
7.30 PL 100 Club
8.00 PL Review
9.00 Best PL Goals:
Manchester Derby
9.30 PL World
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Class of ’92: Full Time
12.00-1.00am PL Best Goals
07/08 Great strikes
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
Noon Eredivisie Round-Up
1.00pm La Liga Icons
2.00 Revista De La Liga
2.30 La Liga World
3.00 Football’s Greatest
Players Andres Iniesta
3.30 Football’s Greatest
Teams Juventus
4.00 Scottish Cup
Greatest Games
4.30 La Liga Greatest Games
5.00 Football Years
5.30 Football Countdowns
6.00 Revista De La Liga
6.30 La Liga World
7.00 Football Years
7.30 Football Countdowns
8.00 Revista De La Liga
8.30 La Liga World
9.00 Eredivisie Round-Up
10.00 The Debate
11.00 La Liga Icons
Radio guide
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
2.15pm LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
6.00-12.00 LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
3.00pm-1.30am LIVE
ATP Masters Tennis:
The Miami Open
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
7.30pm-10.00 LIVE
Vanarama National League:
Barrow v Hartlepool United
(Kick-off 7.45)
1.00am-3.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis The Miami Open
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
11.00pm LIVE NBA: Cleveland
Cavaliers v Toronto Raptors
(Tip-off 11.00)
1.30am-4.00 LIVE NBA: San
Antonio Spurs v Washington
Wizards (Tip-off 1.30)
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
7.00pm-11.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis The Miami Open
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
2.45pm-4.15 LIVE Cycling:
Tour of Catalunya Coverage
of stage three
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Debussy
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Debussy (Étude No 8,
pour les agréments);
Pizzetti (Cello Sonata);
Debussy (La sérénade
interrompue — Préludes,
Book 1; and Cello Sonata)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Dukas (The Sorcerer’s
Apprentice); Dutilleux
(Tout un monde lointain);
Debussy (La mer, L109); and
Ravel (La valse)
3.30 Choral Evensong
Introit: The Lamentation of a
Sinner (Dowland). Responses:
Philip Duffy. Psalm 50
(Plainsong). The Lamentation
(Bairstow). First Lesson: Isaiah
52 vv 13-53. Office Hymn: The
Royal Banners Forward Go
(Angel’s Song). Canticles:
Faux bourdon Service (Tallis).
Second Lesson: Mark 10 vv
32-45. Anthem: Cast Me Not
Away (Wesley). Hymn: When I
Survey the Wondrous Cross
(Rockingham) (r)
4.30 New Generation Artists
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Anna Clyne (This Midnight
Hour); Britten (Violin Concerto,
Op 15); and Beethoven
(Symphony No 6 in F,
Op 68 — Pastoral)
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
10.45 The Free Thinking Essay
11.00 Late Junction
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
Today’s picks
Lent Talks: The
Silence of the Lamb
Radio 4, 8.45pm
Tommies
Radio 4, 2.15pm
Not an easy listen, this, but a
brilliant one. When Dr Katie
Edwards, pictured, now a
lecturer in biblical studies, was a
young teenager she liked to go
ice skating. While she and her
friends were at the rink, a gang
of white men used to chat to
them. “They weren’t like the immature spotty lads at school,
grabbing at our bodies and spitting insults,” she says. Instead
they were “the loveliest, funniest people I’d ever met’’. They
invited Edwards and her friends to a party. The girls were given
powerful drinks, then raped. Edwards was so frightened she
was unable to drink and thus got off lightly: they merely held
her down and broke her arm. Schooled since youth by church
and home in the virtues of stoic silence (Jesus didn’t complain
so why should you?) she never said a word. Women everywhere
will recognise her silence. Catherine Nixey
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in
Parliament
9.00 Only Artists
9.30 You’re Doing it Wrong
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Keywords for Our Time
10.00 Woman’s Hour At 10.41
the Drama: Delphine de Vigan’s
Based on a True Story (3/5)
10.56 The Listening Project
11.00 On and Off the Valley
Lines Documentary
11.30 Boswell’s Lives
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Book of the Week:
The Wood
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Tommies Drama
on the events of a real day at
war, 100 years ago. See Choice
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 Inside Health (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 It’s Not What You Know
7.00 The Archers Chris tries to
do the right thing
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Based on a True Story
8.00 The Moral Maze
8.45 Lent Talks. See Choice
9.00 Costing the Earth (r)
9.30 Only Artists (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Reservoir 13 By Jon McGregor.
A teenage girl disappears
while on holiday with
her family in a village in the
Peak District (3/10)
11.00 Sophie Willan’s Guide
to Normality
11.15 The John Moloney Show
Comedy (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00-5.20 (LW) Live Test
Match Special
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Wood (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 5 Live
Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 7.30 5
Live Sport: The Tuffers and
Vaughan Cricket Show 8.30 5
Live Sport 10.30 Phil Williams
1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast with David
Ginola 10.00 Jim White, Tony
Cascarino and Bob Mills
1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham
and Darren Gough 7.00 Live
Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with
Adam Catterall
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30
Round the Horne 9.00 Many
a Slip 9.30 The Right Time
10.00 The Raj Quartet 11.00
Short Works: The World of
Somerset Maugham 11.15 The
Tyger Hunt 12.00 The Navy
Lark 12.30pm Round the
Horne 1.00 A Charles Paris
Mystery: An Amateur Corpse
1.30 The Big B at 70 2.00 The
Norfolk Mystery 2.15
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen’s
History of Home 2.30 The Old
Curiosity Shop 2.45 The North
(and Almost Everything in It)
3.00 The Raj Quartet 4.00
Many a Slip 4.30 Right Time
5.00 The Architects 5.30 It’s
Not What You Know 6.00 The
Destruction Factor 6.30 The
Tingle Factor 7.00 The Navy
Lark 7.30 Round the Horne
8.00 A Charles Paris Mystery:
An Amateur Corpse 8.30 The
Big B at 70 9.00 Short Works:
The World of Somerset
Maugham 9.15 Tyger Hunt
What possessed the BBC to
give the ghastly Home Front
so many episodes and this
breathtaking series about the
First World War so few?
If you haven’t listened yet,
you must. The Great War is
hardly ill-documented by
drama, but in every episode
of this — all are based on real
accounts — you’re likely to
hear something new, and
newly horrible, that you didn’t
know. In this episode, a
gassed military outpost looks
as though it has been
carpeted, so thickly do
the dead rats and mice lie
on the floor. CN
10.00 Comedy Club: It’s Not
What You Know 10.30 The
Secret World 10.55 The
Interview 11.00 As Told to
Craig Brown 11.30 The
Remains of Foley and McColl
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The
Documentary 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 Documentary 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30 The
Compass 2.00 Newshour
3.00 News 3.06 HARDtalk
3.30 Business 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 Outlook
7.00 The Newsroom 7.30
Sport Today 8.00 News
8.06 The Compass 8.30
Healthcheck 9.00 Newshour
10.00 The Newsroom 10.20
Sports News 10.30 Business
11.00 News 11.06 HARDtalk
11.30 Documentary 12.00
News 12.06am The Thought
Show 1.00 News 1.06
Business Matters 2.00 News
2.06 The Newsroom
2.30 Documentary 3.00
News 3.06 The Inquiry
3.30-4.00 The Food Chain
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Lauren Laverne
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and
Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley 9.00
Gideon Coe 12.00 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1.00am Goth Lyrics
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 John Suchet
1.00pm Aled Jones 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00
Smooth Classics 8.00 The
Full Works Concert. Pieces by
Debussy, Gershwin, Bach and
Verdi 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Sam Pittis
44 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Thursday 22 | Viewing guide
FRANCIS MILLER/THE LIFE PICTURE COLLECTION/GETTY IMAGES
Critic’s choice Martin Luther
King by Trevor McDonald
ITV, 9pm
Trevor McDonald has
covered many stories in
his five-decade career as a
broadcaster and journalist,
but there is one that he has
always wanted to explore —
the life of Dr Martin Luther
King Jr. In this powerful and
personal documentary, made
to commemorate the 50th
anniversary of the death of
the civil rights leader in April
1968, McDonald travels to
several of the places and
locations that are integral to
the King story: to Alabama
and the cities of Montgomery,
Birmingham and Selma; to
King’s first marital home;
and to the Lorraine Motel in
Memphis, Tennessee, where
he was assassinated. He starts
with the monumental “I have
a dream” speech, the key
sentiments of which, he
discovers, were off-the-cuff
and weren’t included in the
original speech. He interviews
King’s key allies, including the
veteran singer Harry
Belafonte, tracks down King’s
assistant, Willie Pearl Mackey
King — who has not been
interviewed on British
television before — and
meets some of the students
and activists who were
inspired by King to fight for
civil rights. In the interests of
balance, McDonald interviews
a former member of the
Ku Klux Klan and talks to a
historian about the horrors
of lynching. There are also
contributions from modern
black role models, including
Naomi Campbell and Colin
Powell, who acknowledge
the debt they owe King.
Progress has been made,
but not enough. “Were he
alive today, he would
probably be on the march
again,” says McDonald. “This
time against inequality and
injustice, the twin evils that
still scar millions of black
American lives.” Joe Clay
Further recommendations
From 1961, Martin Luther King is Face to Face with John
Freeman, revealing why he became a civil rights leader (iPlayer)
Big Cats
About the House
Not Going Out
Civilisations
Contagion
BBC One, 8.30pm
BBC Two, 9pm
BBC Four, 9pm
BBC Two, 8pm
The children are the focus of
tonight’s well-crafted farce,
with Lucy convinced that Toby
and Anna’s son, Jack, has
stolen a keyring from Charlie.
Lucy wants Lee to go with her
and confront their friends, but
Lee has other ideas: “When
there’s a problem between
friends, you’re supposed to do
the adult thing — don’t mention
it, resent them for a few weeks
and hope the whole thing goes
away.” Lucy wins the argument,
but Jack denies it and Lee
becomes obsessed with
proving the boy’s guilt.
“I know how the mind of an
eight-year-old boy works,” he
says. It gets a bit awkward. JC
Mary Beard joins the pilgrims
gathered for sunrise at the
Angkor Wat temple complex in
Cambodia. They are there to
witness the moment the sun
appears to balance on the
central spire of the temple.
“It’s religious art at its most
spectacular,” says Beard. The
classicist’s final contribution
to the series explores the
controversial subject of
religious art, a medium used
to “make gods visible in the
human world”. Beneath all
these works of religious art lies
danger and risk; Beard visits
sacred sites to examine how
artists walk the line between
idolatry and blasphemy. JC
Dr Hannah Fry and Dr Javid
Abdelmoneim are overseeing
the simulation of an outbreak
of a fatal contagion in a small
town. The hope is that the
groundbreaking experiment
will save lives when a real
pandemic hits the UK. There
have been four global
outbreaks of deadly flu in
the past 100 years. App
technology is used to infect
users while tracking their
movements. A team of
mathematicians can then
create a simulation of how the
virus could spread. If you want
to save yourself 75 minutes
there’s a simple message —
wash your hands. JC
Giles Clark is the British
zookeeper who raised a pair
of tiger cubs at home with his
family in a quiet Australian
suburb, as captured in a 2014
BBC documentary, Tigers
About the House. Clark is back
in the UK to run the Big Cat
Sanctuary in Kent. As part of
his new role he is adopting a
newborn jaguar cub that has
been neglected by its mother,
taking it into the family
home to hand-rear. Maya is
cute, but vulnerable, and needs
as much care and attention
as a baby. Then he notices a
problem with Maya’s sight. JC
Catch
up
Imagine: Philip Pullman —
Angels and Daemons
BBC iPlayer, to April 5
Philip Pullman’s His
Dark Materials trilogy
of novels tell the story of
young Lyra Belacqua,
who, in the great
tradition of
children’s literature,
is a rather special
orphan who must
fight the forces of
evil. Alan Yentob
speaks to
Pullman,
pictured, at his
home and together the pair
walk the city that is so integral
to the author’s work — Oxford.
“The mists from the river have
a solvent effect on reality,” says
Pullman, ever the poet.
Pullman explores his
peripatetic childhood and
the influences on his work,
from the African adventure
of Rudyard Kipling’s tales to
the rugged landscapes of
rural Wales. Religion
hangs heavy too.
The authors
Tracy Chevalier
and Katherine
Rundell are
among those
singing
Pullman’s
praises. Chris
Bennion
Variations
● BBC One Wales As BBC One except:
11.00am Bargain Hunt (r) 11.20-1.45pm
Live Match of the Day Wales: China Cup
— China v Wales (Kick-off 11.35)
9.30-10.00 Rhod Gilbert’s Work
Experience. The comedian tries his hand
at being a classical musician
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
1.45pm-2.15 Two Tribes. Quiz hosted by
Richard Osman (r) 10.00-10.30 Still Game
11.15 MOTD: The Premier League Show
11.45-12.45am Gareth Thomas’ Silver
Skydivers for Sport Relief (r)
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
10.40pm The View 11.15 Question Time
12.15am This Week 1.00-6.00 BBC News
● BBC2 N Ireland As BBC Two except:
10.00pm-10.30 Soft Border Patrol. The
gang carries out a suspiciously lengthy
strip search on a smuggler (r) 11.15 Party
Political Broadcast 11.20 MOTD: The
Premier League Show 11.50-12.15am
Top Gear: Extra Gear (r)
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
12.00-1.00pm First Minister’s Questions.
Nicola Sturgeon answers questions in the
Scottish Parliament 6.30 Saving Lives at
Sea (r) 7.30-8.00 Timeline. Thoughtprovoking stories and analysis
● Channel As ITV except: 1.25am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland
Tonight 11.05 The Kyle Files (r) 11.35
Lethal Weapon (r) 12.25am Teleshopping
1.25 After Midnight 2.55 Pets: The True
Cost — Tonight (r) 3.20 ITV Nightscreen
4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 7.30pm-8.00 UTV
Life 10.45 Pets: The True Cost — Tonight
11.15 The World’s Ugliest Pets (r) 12.10am
The Durrells (r) 1.00 Teleshopping
2.30-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Darn Bach o Hanes (r)
12.30 Lle Aeth Pawb? Merched Pop 65-75
(r) 1.30 Sion a Siân (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Yr Ynys (r) 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Hendre Hurt
(r) 5.15 Tref a Tryst 5.45 Edi Wyn (r) 6.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Cwpan China
7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y Cwm 8.00
Gwaith/Cartref 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Pawb a’i Farn 10.30 Hansh
11.00-11.35 Mwy o Sgorio (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
Films of the day
The Drop (15, 2014)
Film4, 9pm
In this dour, blue-collar crime drama, James Gandolfini is Cousin
Marv, working for a Chechen gang in the bar he used to own. The
bar is part of a rotating circuit used by the local crime syndicates
as a holding area for ill-gotten gains. Working alongside Marv is
Bob (Tom Hardy), a terse man whose simplicity means people
underestimate him. Bob’s routine life changes when he finds a
badly beaten pitbull puppy, bringing him into contact with Nadia
(Noomi Rapace), a former addict, and her ex-boyfriend, who
claims ownership of the puppy. The film is elevated by great
writing and the unexpected climax. (106min) Wendy Ide
Under Siege (15, 1992)
Channel 5, 10pm
What makes a great action movie?
A dumb-as-beefcake hero and a
snarling baddie, for starters, and
Under Siege has two marvellous
baddies, both aiming to steal
nuclear warheads from a hijacked
US warship. Tommy Lee Jones is
the unhinged former 1960s dude
and CIA killer, while Gary Busey is a traitorous naval officer who
also happens to enjoy cross-dressing. And the hero? Murmuring
Steven Seagal, pictured, the ship’s cook who takes on the terrorists
with his fish knife. Fun, unselfconscious nonsense from the glory
days of the action thriller and the only movie starring Seagal to
receive Oscar nominations — for best sound and best effects/
sound effects editing. (103min) James Jackson
Contraband (15, 2012)
Film4, 11.10pm
The Icelandic director Baltasar Kormákur (the creator of TV’s
Nordic noir Trapped) starred in the Icelandic film on which
Contraband is based, but he steps behind the camera for this
Louisiana-based remake. Mark Wahlberg stars as Chris Farraday,
a legendary smuggler who is tempted back into the game for
one last run. Perhaps aware of the cliché at the heart of the
narrative, Kormákur chucks the camera around to generate a
nervy, paranoid energy. With Chris’s wife (Kate Beckinsale) and
two sons menaced on a daily basis by the gangster Tim Briggs
(Giovanni Ribisi), Chris must pull off a high-stakes job or risk
the safety of his loved ones. (109min) Wendy Ide
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 45
1G R
Thursday 22
Also available online and on tablet
Digital subscribers can now use our interactive seven-day
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thetimes.co.uk/tvplanner
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back
the Years 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer 11.00 The Sheriffs Are
Coming 11.45 Caught Red Handed (r)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt (r) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather 1.45 Doctors.
An innocent young man appears
desperate to be arrested 2.15 A Place
to Call Home. Elizabeth ignores an
important note from Douglas’s
solicitor 3.05 Escape to the Country.
A professional couple keen to escape
London and move to Hampshire (r)
3.45 Money for Nothing. Old bedroom
cabinets and a steamer trunk are
restored 4.30 Flog It! From Sandon
Hall in Staffordshire (r) 5.15 Pointless.
Quiz show with Alexander Armstrong
(r) 6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather
6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am The Repair Shop (r) 6.30
Holding Back the Years (r) 7.15 The
Sheriffs Are Coming (r) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Earth’s Natural Wonders (r) (SL)
9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC
Newsroom Live 12.00 Daily Politics
1.00pm Two Tribes (r) 1.30 Yes Chef.
Mary Ann Gilchrist puts four cooks
through a series of tests (r) 2.15 Monty
Halls’ Great Irish Escape. Monty tries
to electronically tag basking sharks (r)
3.15 Planet Earth. The epic journey
of a humpback whale and its calf (r)
4.15 Spy in the Wild. Animals getting
up to all sorts of mischief (r) 5.15 Put
Your Money Where Your Mouth Is.
Eric Knowles and Ochuko Ojiri
search a car-boot sale in Chesterfield
6.00 Eggheads. Quiz show 6.30 The
Repair Shop. Restoring a Boulle-work
clock and a Georgian desk
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning. With Phillip
Schofield and Holly Willoughby
12.30pm Loose Women. The panel
puts the world to rights once more
1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Regional
News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
The criminal barrister Robert Rinder
takes on real-life cases in a studio
courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal.
The team travels to Buxton in
Derbyshire, where Karen Dalmeny
digs deep for some war memorabilia,
and Jan Keyne forms an instant
attachment to a creamware jug (r)
4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard
hosts the arcade-themed quiz show
5.00 The Chase. Quiz show hosted by
Bradley Walsh 6.00 Regional News;
Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.10 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 9.00
Frasier (r) 9.35 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown 3.00
A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun. A
Portsmouth couple race to open their
B&B before the season ends 5.00
Four in a Bed. From the Compton
Swan in Berkshire (r) 5.30 Star Boot
Sale. Nancy Sorrell tries to sell a
painting by Vic Reeves 6.00 The
Simpsons (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Leela
hears devastating news about Peri
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.10
Access. Showbiz news and gossip 1.15
Home and Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15
NCIS. An army scientist goes missing,
so Abby is asked to temporarily
replace him on a top-secret research
project (r) 3.15 FILM Secrets in the
Attic (PG, TVM, 2016) A teenager
finds a youth hiding in the attic of the
house she has just moved into, and
discovers he has been accused of
murder. Thriller starring Abbie Cobb
and Max Lloyd-Jones 5.00 5 News at
5 5.30 Neighbours. Mishti obtains full
confessions from Rafael, Jayden and
Sue (r) 6.00 Home and Away. Hunter
realises Irene knew about Olivia’s
infidelity (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Sally Bretton as Lucy (8.30pm)
Big Cats About the House (8pm)
Coronation Street (8.30pm)
The Job Interview (10pm)
The Yorkshire Vet Casebook (7pm)
7.00 The One Show Topical stories
from around the UK
7.00 Saving Lives at Sea The
Lowestoft crew helps a sailor
who does not want to be
rescued, and a Good Samaritan
is saved after trying to help a
dog which jumped into the
river Thames (11/12) (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Lisa faces the
consequences of her actions
7.00 Channel 4 News Including
sport and weather
7.00 The Yorkshire Vet Casebook
New series. Favourite stories
and unseen footage from the
series, following Yorkshire vet
Julian Norton, his partner Peter
Wright and their team (1/10);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Big Cats About the House New
series. Following the big cat
expert Giles Clark’s work to
transform the Big Cat Sanctuary
in Kent into a centre of global
excellence for conservation.
See Viewing Guide (1/3)
8.00 Emmerdale Marlon makes a
mistake that he fears could ruin
his friendship with Jessie
8.30 Coronation Street David wants
to leave Weatherfield for a new
life in New Zealand
8.00 Location, Location, Location
Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer
search the Reading area for a
young woman who wants a
home in Caversham, and two
teachers who need a family
home before term starts
8.00 Bargain-Loving Brits in the
Sun The fitness instructor
and entrepreneur Anthony
organises a campsite coach
trip to the Algar waterfalls (7/8);
followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Civilisations Mary Beard
explores art and religion and
how the two have inspired each
other, focusing on the
fundamental problem of
making god — or gods —
visible in the human world.
See Viewing Guide (4/9)
9.00 Martin Luther King by Trevor
McDonald The broadcaster
travels to America’s Deep South
to find out about Martin Luther
King and what he meant to
people, 50 years since he was
killed. See Viewing Guide
9.00 My Baby’s Life: Who Decides?
The mother of a 12-year-old
quadriplegic girl fights to get
her daughter the treatment she
needs, but doctors question
whether her quality of life will
be enough (2/2)
9.00 Do the Right Thing with
Eamonn & Ruth Eamonn
Holmes and Ruth Langsford try
to save a playground for
children with disabilities from
closure, and investigates the
deaths of babies who
suffocated on nappy sacks (3/4)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 MOTD: The Premier League
Show Magazine programme
featuring news and highlights
10.00 ITV News at Ten; Weather
10.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events with Evan Davis
10.30 Regional News; Weather
10.00 The Job Interview The RAC
interviews for a roadside patrol
officer and the Kettering
mortgage broker TMP needs a
case manager to guide their
clients through the borrowing
process. Last in the series
10.00 FILM Under Siege (15, 1992)
Terrorists infiltrate a US
battleship in a carefully
orchestrated move to steal its
arsenal of nuclear weapons,
unaware the ship’s resourceful
cook — a veteran US Navy Seal
— and a scantily clad stripper
are about to foil their plans.
Action adventure starring
Steven Seagal and Tommy Lee
Jones. See Film Choice
7.30 EastEnders Stacey grills Jean
about what she said but Mo
quickly jumps in to cut her off
8.00 MasterChef The last quarterfinalists make their own version
of a full English breakfast
8.30 Not Going Out A missing toy
keyring leads to a rift between
Lee and Lucy and Toby and
Anna. See Viewing Guide (3/7)
9.00 EastEnders Kat Moon returns,
just as her family and friends
are raising funds for her funeral
9.30 Still Game Jack and Victor take
up walking football (3/6)
10.45 Question Time David Dimbleby
chairs the debate from Leeds,
with a panel of politicians and
other guests facing topical
questions from the audience
11.45 This Week Andrew Neil
introduces a round-table chat
11.15 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc tests the
world’s fastest-accelerating car,
with a little help from NASA.
Dara O Briain and Ed Byrne are
the studio guests (4/6) (r)
12.30am Weather for the Week Ahead
12.35 BBC News
12.15am Sign Zone: MasterChef. The
week’s best amateurs are challenged
to make an exceptional pie (r) (SL)
12.45-2.00 Imagine: Mel Brooks —
Unwrapped. Alan Yentob interviews
the comedy actor, director and
producer Mel Brooks (r) (SL)
7.30 Pets: The True Cost — Tonight
The cost of the UK’s love affair
with cats and dogs
10.45 The World’s Ugliest Pets
Caroline Quentin meets
unattractive pets, and searches
for a canine to represent the UK
at The World’s Ugliest Dog
Contest in California (r)
11.05 Gogglebox Capturing the
households’ instant reactions to
what they are watching on
television from the comfort of
their own sofas (r)
11.45 The Durrells The family finds
out that Leslie has three
different girlfriends (1/8) (r)
12.40am Lethal Weapon. Murtaugh
and Riggs are called to a homicide
only to find the victim is an old friend
(r) 1.25 Jackpot247. Interactive
gaming 3.00 Pets: The True Cost
— Tonight (r) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen
5.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.05am Seven Year Switch (r) 1.05
One Born Every Minute (r) 2.00 The
Supervet (r) 2.55 Dispatches (r) (SL)
3.25 Coast vs Country (r) 4.20
Location, Location, Location (r)
5.15 Food Unwrapped (r) 5.40 Kirstie’s
Fill Your House for Free (r)
12.10am SuperCasino 3.10 Cowboy
Builders. Alison Cork returns to a
bachelor pad she redecorated in
south Wales (r) 4.00 Britain’s
Greatest Bridges (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 House Busters (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
46 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Sherlock Holmes
Thursday 22 | Primetime digital guide
Richard Roxburgh and Ian
Hart tackle The Hound of
the Baskervilles
Drama, 9pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1985 Music
by Tears for Fears, Simply
Red, Fine Young Cannibals
and the Damned (R)
8.00 Secret Universe: The
Hidden Life of the Cell
Documentary showing a
single human cell under
attack from a virus (R)
9.00 Contagion! The BBC Four
Pandemic Hannah Fry
fronts this social media
experiment to test the
threat of flu to the UK, using
app technology to “infect”
users and track their
interactions over 24 hours.
See Viewing Guide
10.15 Michael Mosley vs the
Superbugs Investigating
how bacteria are fighting
back against antibiotics (R)
11.15-12.15am Britain’s Outlaws:
Highwaymen, Pirates and
Rogues Urban crime, fraud
and corruption (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote Jessica
tries to clear a factory
owner suspected of
murdering her former
husband (R)
8.00 Vera DCI Vera Stanhope sets
out to solve the murder of a
teenage girl 11 years earlier,
exposing the secrets and
lies of a close-knit
community. Hugo Speer
guest stars (R)
10.00 Unforgotten Cassie quizzes
Marion and the inquiry
reveals her close
relationship with an IRA
activist. Sara and Colin open
up to their partners with
secrets about their past (R)
11.00-12.05am Unforgotten
Marion jeopardises her
marriage by refusing to
open up about the past,
Colin is blackmailed even
further and a disturbing
allegation opens up a
second line of inquiry (R)
6.55pm The Supervet Noel
Fitzpatrick operates on a
Bengal cat with a broken
back, and a rottweiler puppy
is treated for a genetic
condition that has
destroyed its cartilage (R)
7.55 Grand Designs Kevin
McCloud returns to Belfast
where he visits Thomas and
Dervla O’Hare, who set out
to build a split-level home
cascading down an almost
vertical hillside (R)
9.00 The Good Fight The firm
learns another Chicago
lawyer has been murdered.
A surprise witness is called
to testify against Maia (2/13)
10.00 999: What’s Your
Emergency? The growing
number of calls connected
to the over-75s (R)
11.05-12.05am 24 Hours in A&E
A registrar treats a man who
has been having seizures for
30 minutes (R)
5.50pm FILM Avatar (12, 2009)
A soldier uses a genetically
engineered body to help an
alien tribe fight off a corrupt
mining corporation, which
wants to drive them from
their land. James Cameron’s
sci-fi adventure with Sam
Worthington, Zoe Saldana
and Sigourney Weaver
9.00 FILM The Drop (15, 2014)
A bartender who secretly
works for gangsters gets
involved in a robbery gone
wrong that digs up
long-buried secrets. Crime
drama starring Tom Hardy.
See Film Choice
11.10-1.20am FILM Contraband
(15, 2012) A reformed
international smuggler must
return to his old line of work
to save his family from a
ruthless drug lord. Crime
thriller starring Mark
Wahlberg and Kate
Beckinsale. See Film Choice
7.00pm The Simpsons A dejected
Mr Burns tries to improve
his public image (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Lisa joins
Mensa. With the voice of
Stephen Hawking (R)
8.00 Arrow Oliver must decide
whether to ask his former
team-mates for help when
Cayden James tightens his
hold over the city
9.00 SEAL Team New series.
Action drama following the
lives of members of an elite
US Navy unit. David
Boreanaz stars
10.00 Jamestown Maria is driven
to commit a terrible crime
and Jocelyn forms a pact
with an unlikely ally (R)
11.00 The Force: Essex
Documentary following
police in the county (R)
12.00-1.00am Ross Kemp:
Extreme World The actor
visits East Jerusalem and
the West Bank (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A jogger’s
mutilated body is found in a
park, and it transpires the
victim’s organs had been
surgically removed (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods One of Erin’s
informants is murdered (R)
9.00 FILM Warning: This Drug
May Kill You (2017)
Documentary focusing on
the effects of addiction
through the stories of
families whose lives have
been decimated by
situations that all began
with legitimate prescriptions
10.10 Our Cartoon President
An embarrassing video
surfaces of the First Lady
rolling her eyes
10.45 Last Week Tonight with
John Oliver A satirical look
at news and pop culture (R)
11.20-12.20am Hotspots: On the
Frontline Troubled spots
around the world (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Gold Clips feature a man falling off
a bridge into a canal
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 Celebrity Juice Live New
series. Guests include Georgia
“Toff” Toffolo
11.05 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
6.45pm Live Snooker: Players
Championship Jill Douglas
presents coverage of the evening
session on day four, featuring the
third quarter-final from Venue
Cymru in Llandudno, played over
the best of 11 frames
11.00-12.40am FILM The Dictator
(15, 2012) A tyrant travels to
America to address the UN, but is
left stranded there after an
assassination attempt goes wrong.
Comedy starring Sacha Baron
Cohen and Anna Faris
7.00pm Hollyoaks
7.30 My Hotter Half
8.00 The Big Bang Theory The
friends try to help Bernadette
8.30 Young Sheldon The brainbox
helps the football team
9.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine Jake,
Terry and Holt go undercover
9.30 Derry Girls
10.00 Five Star Hotel A dating
mix-up could spell disaster
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35 The Big Bang Theory
12.00-1.05am First Dates
7.00pm Last Man Standing
Vanessa is disappointed with plans
being made for Thanksgiving
7.30 Last Man Standing Mike
recommends Ryan for a job
8.00 Greatest Ever Celebrity Wind
Ups Joe Pasquale narrates more
showbiz pranks
9.00 Bad Teen to Ballroom Queen
10.00-12.25am FILM There’s
Something About Mary (15, 1998)
A lovesick man tracks down his
high-school sweetheart. Comedy
starring Cameron Diaz
6.35pm The Edgar Wallace
Mystery Theatre A factory is not
as prosperous as it seems
7.45 FILM Soldier of Fortune (PG,
1955) Thriller starring Clark Gable
9.45 FILM Butch and Sundance:
The Early Days (PG, 1979) The
infamous duo learn their trade and
establish their status as outlaws.
Western prequel starring Tom
Berenger and William Katt
11.55-1.55am FILM Blanche Fury
(U, 1948) Drama starring Valerie
Hobson and Michael Gough
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Clegg gets stuck up a tree
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Guest starring Roy Barraclough
8.00 A Place to Call Home
Elizabeth returns from hospital
9.00 FILM The Hound of the
Baskervilles (15, 2002) Sherlock
Holmes adventure starring
Richard Roxburgh and Ian Hart
11.00 Birds of a Feather The
sisters’ heating breaks down
11.40-12.40am The Bill Boyden’s
daughter makes an appearance
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm The Day When Stalin Won
the War Stalin’s work consolidating
his power base following the
Second World War
8.00 Nazi Victory: The Post-War
Plan An insight into Hitler’s plans
to revolutionise Germany’s
transport system. Last in the series
9.00 The Two Ronnies Randy
Crawford provides the music
10.00 The Two Ronnies Marti
Webb provides the music
10.40 The Two Ronnies
11.30-12.05am Steptoe and Son
7.00pm Police Interceptors
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
Paul and Steve make an
extraordinary discovery
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
Paul and Ben are called in to evict
squatters from a residential
property, but something about the
squat does not quite add up
10.00 World’s Wildest Flights The
US Airways flight that landed in
New York’s Hudson River
11.00 The X-Files
12.00-1.00am The X-Files
7.00pm World’s Most Dangerous
Roads Hugh Bonneville and
Jessica Hynes drive through the
former Soviet republic of Georgia
8.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit
With broadcaster Anna Richardson
and comedian Nish Kumar
9.00 QI XL Sandi Toksvig’s debut
as host, with Cariad Lloyd, Romesh
Ranganathan and Phill Jupitus
10.00 Not Going Out Lucy
accidentally runs over a pet rabbit
10.40 Not Going Out
11.20-12.20am QI XL
6.35pm Korean War: Battle of
Chosin Part one of two. The story
of the campaign when US forces
came up against Chinese soldiers
7.50 Ten Days to Victory Part two
of two. Memories of the end of the
Second World War
9.00 The Bombing of Germany
Examining America’s bombing
campaign against Germany
10.15 The War The Allies discover
the horrors of Nazi concentration
camps as they close in on Berlin
11.30-12.45am Ten Days to Victory
7.00pm Andre Rieu: How It All
Began The life of the violinist
8.00 The Glyndebourne Opera
Cup New series. Behind the scenes
of the singing competition
9.00 The Divorce Comedic opera
with Marina Prior and John O’May
11.00 Portrait Artist of the Year
2018 The three remaining artists
compete in the final, painting the
singer Emeli Sandé
12.00-1.00am National Treasures:
The Art of Collecting A look at six
watches from a vast collection
7.00pm The Real A&E
7.30 The Real A&E
8.00 Elementary A homicide is
picked up by a cutting-edge
gunshot detection system
9.00 Conviction New murders
take place bearing the hallmarks of
a jailed serial killer
10.00 Scandal Mellie plans to
name Jake as her new chief of staff
11.00 Criminal Minds
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation A police officer
hampers an investigation
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
W
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 Family Guy
9.30 Family Guy
10.00 American Dad!
10.30 American Dad!
11.00 Family Guy
11.30 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Classic Car Rescue Restoring
an MGB GT sports car
9.00 Motor Mega Week 2018
Builds And Race
10.00 Killing Fields
11.00 Mysteries of the Missing
12.00-1.00am Motor Mega Week
2018 Builds And Race
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
8.00 Car SOS
9.00 Air Crash Investigation
Virgin Galactic’s rocket plane
10.00 Science of Stupid
10.30 Science of Stupid
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Air Crash
Investigation
7.00pm Friends
8.00 Takeshi’s Castle
8.30 Most Ridiculous: Sports
9.00 FILM Little Fockers (12, 2010)
Comedy sequel starring Ben Stiller
11.00 Impractical Jokers
11.30 Impractical Jokers
12.00-12.30am Russell Howard’s
Stand Up Central
6.40pm Dad’s Army
7.20 Dad’s Army
8.00 dinnerladies The crew
prepares for the millennium dinner
8.45 dinnerladies
9.25 Absolutely Fabulous
10.05 Live at the Apollo
11.05 The League of Gentlemen
11.50-12.30am The Fast Show
7.00pm MasterChef Junior USA
Recreating a lava cake
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 Crime, Carnage & Cancun:
Stacey Dooley Investigates
10.00 Dr Christian Will See You
Now A man in excruciating pain
11.00 Rent a Cop
11.40-12.20am Rent a Cop
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
6.10pm Inconceivable (15, 2017) A
mother tries to escape her abusive
past by moving to a new town.
Thriller starring Gina Gershon
8.00 Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) A mechanic
continues his fight against the evil
Decepticons. Fantasy adventure
starring Mark Wahlberg
10.40-12.35am The Land (15, 2016)
Four teenage skateboarders find
their friendship tested when they
cross paths with a criminal. Drama
starring Jorge Lendeborg Jr
6.00pm Any Which Way You Can
(15, 1980) A street-fighting trucker
and his faithful orang-utan become
targets of the Mafia. Comedy
sequel starring Clint Eastwood
8.00 2012 (12, 2009) A writer tries
to get his family to a safe refuge.
Disaster movie with John Cusack
10.40-12.25am The Wicker Man
(18, 1973) A police officer searches
for a girl on an island inhabited by
a pagan society, whom he suspects
of human sacrifice. Horror starring
Edward Woodward
6.10pm Monster Trucks (PG, 2016)
A gas-guzzling creature takes up
residence in the half-built truck of a
downtrodden high-schooler.
Fantasy adventure with Lucas Till
8.00 Hook (U, 1991) A grown-up
Peter Pan returns to Neverland.
Steven Spielberg’s fantasy
adventure starring Robin Williams
10.25-12.40am Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark
Side of Dimensions (PG, 2016)
Yugi Muto and rival Seto Kaiba face
an epic battle. Animation featuring
the voice of Dan Green
6.00pm Braveheart (15, 1995)
Medieval Scottish hero William
Wallace fights to drive out the
English. Historical epic directed by
and starring Mel Gibson
9.00 Assassin’s Creed (12, 2016) A
murder suspect seeks a device that
contains the genetic code for free
will. Video game adaptation
starring Michael Fassbender
11.00-1.10am 300 (15, 2006) The
king of Sparta leads 300 warriors
into battle. Fantasy adventure with
Gerard Butler and Lena Headey
6.15pm The Prestige (12, 2006)
Two Victorian magicians become
bitter rivals. Mystery thriller with
Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale
8.30 The Levelling (15, 2016)
A trainee vet returns to her family
farm after her brother’s suicide and
attempts to build bridges with her
estranged father. Drama starring
Ellie Kendrick and David Troughton
10.00-12.25am The Doors (18,
1991) Oliver Stone’s biopic charting
the rise and fall of Jim Morrison in
the late 1960s. Starring Val Kilmer
Chris Addison and Danielle de
Niese host The Glyndebourne
Opera Cup (Sky Arts, 8pm)
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 47
1G R
Thursday 22
Sports guide
Live Golf
Sky Sports Golf, 2.15pm
Radio guide
Radio 1
It’s the second day of the WGCDell Match Play Championship
at Austin Country Club in
Texas. The field consists of the
top 64 players available from
the official world golf rankings
on March 11. The world No 1
Dustin Johnson, pictured, is
the defending champion. The
round-robin group matches
continue today and tomorrow,
with the winners of each group
advancing to the last-16 and
quarter-finals on Saturday. JC
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat
1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Dev 5.45
Newsbeat 6.00 Dev 7.00 Phil
Taggart 9.00 Charlie Sloth
11.00 The Residency: James
Blake 12.00 BBC Radio 1’s
Residency: Mura Masa 1.00am
Toddla T 3.00 BBC Radio 1’s
Residency: The Black Madonna
4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
Sky Sports Main Event
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket:
New Zealand v England
8.25 LIVE Test Cricket:
South Africa v Australia
Coverage of day one
4.00pm Test Cricket
5.00 Cricket Debate
5.30 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6
7.00 LIVE Premier League
Darts Round eight from the
SSE Hydro in Glasgow
10.30 LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
12.00 F1 Report
12.30am LIVE Formula 1 The
Australian Grand Prix first
practice session
2.45-6.00 LIVE Test Cricket:
New Zealand v England The
second day
2.15pm LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
6.00-12.00 LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
Sky Sports Premier
League
SKY 402 VIRGIN 512
9.00am PL World
9.30 PL 100 Club
10.00 PL Daily
11.00 The Debate
12.00 PL World
12.30pm PL Greatest Games
1.00 PL 100 Club
2.00 PL Best Goals 13/14
3.00 PL Years
5.00 PL World
5.30 PL 100 Club
6.00 Best PL Goals:
Merseyside Derby
6.30 Best PL Goals:
Manchester Derby
7.00 PL World
7.30 PL 100 Club
8.00 Best PL Goals: North
London Derby
8.30 Best PL Goals:
Tottenham v Chelsea
9.00 PL World
9.30 Harry Kane’s 2017
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Class of ’92: Full Time
12.00-1.00am PL Best Goals
12/13 Great strikes
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
Sky Sports Action
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
7.10am-8.55 LIVE
International Netball:
New Zealand v Jamaica
(Centre-pass 7.10)
7.00pm-10.30 LIVE Premier
League Darts Round eight
from the SSE Hydro in
Glasgow
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
8.00am-10.45 LIVE NRL:
Melbourne Storm v North
Queensland Cowboys
(Kick-off 9.05)
3.00pm-7.00 LIVE
ATP Masters Tennis
The Miami Open
7.30 LIVE Betfred Super
League: Widnes Vikings v
Salford Red Devils
(Kick-off 7.45)
10.00-3.00am LIVE
ATP Masters Tennis
The Miami Open
Sky Sports F1
SKY 406 VIRGIN 516
12.30am-2.45 LIVE Formula 1
The Australian Grand Prix first
practice session
4.45-6.45 LIVE Formula 1
The Australian Grand Prix
second practice session
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
8.00am-11.00 LIVE AFL:
Richmond Tigers v Carlton
Blues (Bounce-up 8.25)
3.00am-1.30 LIVE WTA
Tennis The Miami Open
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket:
New Zealand v England
8.25-4.00pm LIVE Test
Cricket: South Africa v
Australia
12.30am-6.00 LIVE Test
Cricket: New Zealand v
England
9.45am-11.00 LIVE Ski
Jumping The men’s individual
qualifying event from
Planica, Slovenia
2.45pm-4.15 LIVE Cycling:
Tour of Catalunya Coverage
of stage four
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce.
Including John Parr’s
penultimate Tracks of My
Years 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 Bob Harris
Country 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00
The Radio 2 Arts Show with
Anneka Rice. A lively look at
the latest films, plays, dance
events, books and exhibition
12.00 The Craig Charles House
Party (r) 2.00am Radio 2’s
Tracks of My Years Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the
Week: Debussy
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Debussy (Trois
chansons de Charles
d’Orléans); Pizzetti (A Lament;
Requiem; 2 Canzoni corali; and
De Profundis); and Debussy arr
Clytus Gottwald (Des pas sur la
neige — from Preludes, Book 1)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Engelbert Humperdinck’s
Hansel and Gretel from the
Royal Opera House,
Covent Garden
5.00 In Tune (r)
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert Mozart
(Overture, The Abduction from
the Seraglio); Beethoven
(Piano Concerto No 1); and
Debussy (Ibéria; and La Mer)
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
10.45 The Essay: New
Generation Thinkers
11.00 Late Junction
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am-6.00 (LW)
Live Test Match Special:
New Zealand v England
5.30 News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in
Parliament
9.00 In Our Time
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
Today’s picks
The Art of Now: Band Politics
Radio 4, 11.30am
Liam Gallagher, Ed Sheeran
and pretty much every pop
star of the past 20 years
should be made to listen to
this. For it turns out (mirabile
dictu) that songs don’t have to
be purely about your own
dreary reflections on yourself
or your lover. They can be
about other people and interesting things. Take the songs of
Nadine Shah, pictured, a singer-songwriter who writes about
gentrification, the refugee crisis and the NHS. Her lyrics are
not easily confused with those of Ringo Starr. BBC 6 Music’s
Chris Hawkins, presenting, thinks that Shah is one of a new
generation of singers who “steps beyond music into a kind of
political journalism”. True, it’s a certain kind of journalism —
don’t expect The Daily Telegraph with beats. And admittedly
most of the audience are white middle-class. But still, it
makes a refreshing change from Sheeran. Catherine Nixey
9.45 Keywords for Our Time
10.00 Woman’s Hour At 10.45
the Drama: Delphine de Vigan’s
Based on a True Story (4/5)
11.00 From Our Own
Correspondent
11.30 The Art of Now:
Band Politics. See Choice
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Book of the Week:
The Wood
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: The King of
the Flat White Drama, set the
night after the Brexit vote
3.00 Ramblings
3.27 Radio 4 Appeal (r)
3.30 Open Book (r)
4.00 The Film Programme
4.30 BBC Inside Science
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Hitchhiker’s Guide to
the Galaxy: Hexagonal Phase.
See Choice
7.00 The Archers Ruth hears
some interesting news
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Based on a True Story
8.00 Law in Action (4/4) (r)
8.30 The Bottom Line (r)
9.00 BBC Inside Science (r)
9.30 (LW) In Our Time (r)
9.30 In Our Time (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Reservoir 13 By Jon McGregor.
A teenage girl disappears (4/10)
11.00 It’s Jocelyn (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Wood (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00-5.20 (LW) Test Match
Special: New Zealand v
England The second Test
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 5 Live Breakfast
10.00 The Emma Barnett
Show with Anna Foster
1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live
Sport 8.00 5 Live Formula 1
9.00 5 Live Sport 10.00 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast with
Lawrence Dallaglio 10.00 Jim
White, Ray Parlour and Bob
Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham
and Darren Gough 7.00 Live
Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with
Adam Catterall
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Marriage Lines 8.30
The Goon Show 9.00 It’s Your
Round 9.30 The Inimitable
Jeeves 10.00 The Raj Quartet
11.00 Short Works: The World
of Somerset Maugham 11.15
Once Upon a Time There Was
a Beatrix 12.00 Marriage
Lines 12.30pm The Goon
Show 1.00 A Charles Paris
Mystery: An Amateur Corpse
1.30 Seems Like a Nice Boy:
The Story of Larry Grayson
2.00 The Norfolk Mystery 2.15
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen’s
History of Home 2.30 The Old
Curiosity Shop 2.45 The North
(and Almost Everything in It)
3.00 The Raj Quartet 4.00 It’s
Your Round 4.30 The
Inimitable Jeeves 5.00 North
by Northamptonshire 5.30
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy 6.00 The Destruction
Factor 6.30 Great Lives 7.00
Marriage Lines 7.30 The Goon
Show 8.00 A Charles Paris
Mystery: An Amateur Corpse
8.30 Seems Like a Nice Boy:
The Story of Larry Grayson
9.00 Short Works: The
World of Somerset Maugham
9.15 Once Upon a Time
There Was a Beatrix
The Hitchhiker’s
Guide to the Galaxy
Radio 4, 6.30pm
“Arthur is enjoying his
journey thoroughly as he
talks to the great lost love of
his life, Fenchurch . . . Sadly
for Arthur, this is not the
actual person, but a
holographic construct.” It’s
hard not to listen to this
latest instalment of these
Hitchhiker’s adaptations with
a growing sense of unease.
So much of this world has
come true. Today we have
touring holograms, such as
Elvis. Will we get Deep
Thought tomorrow? Stars
John Lloyd, Simon Jones
and Jane Horrocks. CN
10.00 Comedy Club: The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy 10.30 Sketchorama
11.00 Masala FM 11.30
Bleak Expectations
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am News 9.06 The
Thought Show 10.00 World
Update 11.00 The Newsroom
11.30 The Food Chain 12.00
News 12.06pm Outlook 1.00
The Newsroom 1.30
Assignment 2.00 Newshour
3.00 News 3.06 The Inquiry
3.30 Business 4.00 BBC OS
6.00 News 6.06 Outlook
7.00 The Newsroom 7.30
Sport Today 8.00 News 8.06
Assignment 8.30 Science in
Action 9.00 Newshour 10.00
The Newsroom 10.20 Sports
News 10.30 Business 11.00
News 11.06 The Inquiry 11.30
The Food Chain 12.00 The
Real Story 1.00am News 1.06
Business Matters 2.00 News
2.06 The Newsroom 2.30
Assignment 3.00 News 3.06
HARDtalk 3.30 World
Football 4.00 News 4.06
Outlook
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Lauren Laverne
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and
Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley 9.00
Gideon Coe 12.00 Steve
Lamacq 1.00am Goth Lyrics
with Murray Lachlan Young
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 John Suchet
1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall
5.00 Classic FM Drive 7.00
Smooth Classics 8.00 The
Full Works Concert. Pieces by
Mozart, Tchaikovsky, Dvořák
and Schubert 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Jane Jones
48 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Friday 23 | Viewing guide
Critic’s choice
Britain’s Favourite Food
Channel 4, 8pm
Simon Rimmer, the
Liverpudlian cuisinier from
Channel 4’s Sunday Brunch,
has an unforced affability and
curiosity that suits this latest
TV look at how we used to eat.
Rather than make a family
dress up in period garb and
live the history (as with Back
in Time for Dinner), this takes
a more straightforward route
in ticking off the lurid foods
of yesteryear, mainly from
the 1960s and 1970s. The
through-line question is
why we became a nation of
convenience-food lovers, with
Rimmer meeting the mad
scientists and wily ad-men
who convinced us to love
suspiciously bright food
products. But it’s also a fine
excuse for some fun retro
TV clips and all-round easy
nostalgia. Just the word
“Bejam” takes you back. Or
the sight of Angel Delight —
Rimmer explores how the
success of this artificial
sugary pudding was down to
the British equivalent of Don
Draper capitalising on a new
wave of consumerism in the
1960s combined with a
chemical-flavour revolution
led by “flavourist” boffins in a
lab. (Did you have a favourite
flavour? Butterscotch wins the
Times TV desk’s snap poll.)
Rimmer revisits the golden
summer of 1979 to learn how
lolly brands exploited kids
with 10p Zooms and Fabs, and
there are light sociological
memories of the sudden
arrival of the Marks & Spencer
chicken kiev, with its
exploding interior of
tastebud-scorching garlic
butter. Wine snobs can chortle
at the popularity of Blue Nun
and the wine that the French
“adored”, Le Piat d’Or, and we
can all sigh longingly for
happier, unhealthier times.
James Jackson
Further recommendations
In Back in Time for Tea, the Ellis family relive the 1980s and
1990s, including toasties and Wimpy burgers (iPlayer, to April 10)
Sport Relief 2018
BBC One, 7pm
The biennial sporting mayhem
for charity takes over tonight,
for the first time coming
live from Salford. What to
expect? Celebrity boxing
makes a comeback (expect
the former Chelsea defender
Wayne Bridge to square up
to Spencer Matthews from
Made in Essex), there’s a “clash
of the channels” boat race,
while the Match of the Day
pundit Robbie Savage’s all-star
team attempt 12 hours of
non-stop football. Then there’s
David Ginola among those
donning sequins for a celebrity
Strictly Come Dancing, and
so on. Or you could just donate:
visit sportrelief.com. JJ
Catch
up
Tones, Droness and
he Magic
Arpeggios: The
m
of Minimalism
pisode one
BBC iPlayer, episode
expires on April
ril 2
Minimalism was
as the last
“big idea” in classical
assical
music, and in this twopart series the
e
conductor Charles
arles
Hazlewood explores
plores
its origins and
impact. He begins
gins
with its beatnik
k
founders, La Monte
Young and Terry
rry
Riley, who were
re
Live International
Football
Pilgrimage: The
Road to Santiago
The Vicar of Dibley Films of the day
ITV, 7.30pm
BBC Two, 9pm
There was a time when the
prospect of a match between
the Netherlands and England
would set mouths watering,
but time has no truck with
reputation and England
are an undercooked ragtag
of talents, while the Dutch
haven’t even qualified for
Russia 2018. For this friendly
Gareth Southgate will hope
to start resolving some
dilemmas (Joe Hart or Jordan
Pickford in goal? Phil Jones or
John Stones in defence?) and
to see Marcus Rashford show
he’s the measure of the
injured Harry Kane. JJ
Any programme that puts
questions of faith at its heart
without coming over all Songs
of Praise is to be applauded,
and this reality-TV journey is
working as entertainment —
the seven celebrity pilgrims
hiking across Spain — and
pragmatic examination of
belief. Neil Morrissey perhaps
isn’t being swept towards the
spiritual (“I’m having no roadto-Damascus moment. I’m
already settled in my soul”), but
as the group encounter small
acts of charity in the sun, they
and we are given reason to
reflect on what’s important. JJ
The amount of coverage
afforded to the recent death of
Emma Chambers indicates just
how much viewers took to
their hearts The Vicar of
Dibley’s naive Alice — a
character so dim she thought
Black Sabbath were gospel
singers. Tonight Gold begins
a repeat of the series from
the start as the Rev Geraldine
Granger (Dawn French) arrives
in Dibley with her suspiciously
fun approach to Christianity.
And it’s still a sitcom with
a tremendous sense of spirit,
every episode ending with that
post-credits coda as Geraldine
fails to explain a smutty joke
to loveable Alice. RIP. JJ
classmates at Berkeley College,
California, in the 1950s. They
shared a love of eastern
influences, drones and
transcendence through
repetition. Both are interviewed:
in
Young in New Y
York and
Riley on his ranch
ran near
San Francisco. In part
two Hazlewood is back in
New York, wh
where in the
1970s Philip Glass and
Steve Reic
Reich,
pictured,
pictured shook
the clas
classical
world to
t its roots
by adding
add
orchestral
orches
dimensions
and
dimens
an urban
urba buzz
to minim
minimalist
compositions.
compos
Joe
Jo Clay
Gold, 10pm
Variations
● BBC Two Wales As BBC Two except:
7.00pm David Attenborough’s Natural
Curiosities 7.30 Live Scrum V: Dragons v
Cheetahs. (Kick-off 7.35) 9.30-10.00
Gardeners’ World. Monty Don starts
dahlias and sows annual climbing plants
11.15 Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago
12.15am FILM The Ones Below (2015)
Thriller starring Clemence Poesy.
1.35-2.00 Coast (r)
● BBC1 N Ireland As BBC One except:
6.55pm-7.00 Party Political Broadcast
● BBC2 Scotland As BBC Two except:
11.15pm Sportscene 12.00-1.00am The
Assassination of Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story (r)
● Channel As ITV except: 12.40am-3.00
ITV Nightscreen
● STV As ITV except: 12.40am
Teleshopping 1.40 After Midnight 3.10
Tenable (r) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen
4.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
● UTV As ITV except: 6.20pm-6.30 Party
Political Broadcast 12.40am Teleshopping
2.10-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
● S4C 6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen
(r) 6.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty
Mel (r) 7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15
Ysbyty Cyw Bach (r) 7.30 Nico Nôg (r)
7.40 Digbi Draig (r) 7.50 Twm Tisian (r)
8.00 Cymylaubychain (r) 8.15 Crads Bach
y Traeth (r) 8.20 Cwpwrdd Cadi (r) 8.30
Cled (r) 8.45 Marcaroni (r) 9.00 Bach a
Mawr (r) 9.15 Stiw (r) 9.25 Yn yr Ardd (r)
9.35 Nodi (r) 9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r) 10.00
Hafod Haul (r) 10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r)
10.25 Guto Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i
Ffrindiau (r) 10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Meic y
Marchog (r) 11.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach (r)
11.30 Nico Nôg (r) 11.40 Digbi Draig (r)
11.50 Twm Tisian (r) 12.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 12.05pm Cymoedd Roy Noble (r)
12.30 Band Cymru (r) 1.30 Llys Nini (r)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Tu Hwnt i’r Tymbl (r)
4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05
Crwbanod Ninja (r) 5.30 Larfa (r) 5.35
Cog1nio (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
6.05 Celwydd Noeth (r) 6.30 Rownd a
Rownd 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm
8.25 Codi Hwyl 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain 10.05 Y Stiwdio
Gefn (r) 10.35-11.40 Parch (r)
(r) repeat (SL) In-vision signing
The Ones Below (15, 2015)
BBC Two, 12.10am
From the pen of David Farr, who wrote the TV series The Night
Manager and Troy, comes this paranoid thriller about two Islington
couples who find they are having first babies weeks apart and
live in the same building. Upstairs is Kate (Clémence Poésy) and
her loving husband (Stephen Campbell Moore). Soon they are
becoming friends with the downstairs neighbours, the flashier
housewife Teresa (Laura Birn) and her banker husband (David
Morrissey). The story plunges into psychological darkness with
the influence of Hitchcock everywhere as Kate reaches breaking
point while coping with her newborn. (84min) Wendy Ide
Going in Style (12, 2017)
Sky Cinema Premiere, 8pm
Michael Caine, pictured,
Morgan Freeman and Alan Arkin
squander their talents in this
remake of a 1979 heist flick. In this
version, their former employer
moves from New York state to
Vietnam, so the trio lose their
pensions. They decide to rob the
bank that’s mopping up their retirement money and set about
learning criminality from a local “low-life” professional. They also
disguise themselves as the Rat Pack and use guns with blanks
so no one gets hurt. The performances are thick with cliché, so
while it’s all a perfectly jolly way to spend two hours, you’ve
seen it all before. Ann-Margret, Matt Dillon and Christopher Lloyd
show up in supporting roles. (94min) Kate Muir
The Net (12, 1995)
Channel 4, 12.10am
Although its plot hook revolving around the perils of this
new-fangled thing called “the internet” is woefully dated, this
conspiracy thriller, directed by Irwin Winkler (better known as the
powerhouse producer of such films as Rocky and Raging Bull),
moves at such a pace that you can overlook Sandra Bullock’s
computer-programmer heroine, who works on anti-virus software,
managing to have her identity stolen over the internet. She also
finds herself implicated in a murder thanks to a not-all-he-seems
Casanova (Jeremy Northam). Bullock’s performance sucks you in,
while cybergeeks out there will feel old hearing that the operating
system used in the film is Mac OS 7. (110min) James Jackson
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 49
1G R
What is catch-up?
Catch-up TV services, such as the BBC iPlayer, offer recent and archive programmes that you may
have missed, and can be accessed online, on tablet or smartphone. You can watch these shows on
your TV depending on your set-up. If you watch Freeview via a YouView box — or have Sky, Virgin,
Freesat or BT Vision — you’ll find an on-screen guide. Full explanation at thetimes.co.uk/catchup
Friday 23
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back
the Years 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer (r) 11.00 The Sheriffs Are
Coming 11.45 Caught Red Handed (r)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt 1.00 BBC News
at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 1.45 Doctors. Zara
helps a friend vulnerable to racist
abuse 2.15 A Place to Call Home.
Douglas’s son Matthew makes the
acquaintance of both Anna and Olivia
3.00 Escape to the Country. Jonnie
Irwin helps a couple search for a
property in Shropshire 3.45 Money for
Nothing. EJ Osborne transforms an
armchair and some scaffolding props
4.30 Flog It! People in Weston-superMare bring their valuables along to
the Grand Pier (r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz
(r) 6.00 BBC News at Six; Weather
6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am The Repair Shop (r) 6.30
Holding Back the Years (r) 7.15 The
Sheriffs Are Coming (r) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Back in Time for Tea (r) (SL)
9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC
Newsroom Live 12.00 Daily Politics
1.00pm Two Tribes. Quiz show (r) 1.30
Yes Chef. Nigel Haworth, Atul Kochhar,
Ryan Simpson and Mary Ann Gilchrist
compete. Last in the series (r) 2.15
Monty Halls’ Great Irish Escape.
Monty tries to track dolphins using
sonar technology (r) 3.15 Planet Earth.
Woodlands around the world (r) 4.15
Spy in the Wild. A behind-the-scenes
view of the series. Last in the series (r)
5.15 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is. The week’s overall winner is
revealed (r) 6.00 Eggheads 6.30 The
Repair Shop. The team restores a
ceremonial cavalry helmet
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30
Lorraine 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show
10.30 This Morning 12.30pm Loose
Women. Interviews and topical
debate from a female perspective
1.30 ITV News; Weather 1.55 Regional
News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
Cameras follow the criminal barrister
Robert Rinder as he takes on real-life
cases in a studio courtroom 3.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal. A Spitting
Image puppet turns heads in
Worcester, where host David
Dickinson gives a seller a lesson in
elocution (r) 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben
Shephard hosts the quiz show, in
which contestants drop tokens down
a choice of four chutes in the hope of
winning a £10,000 jackpot 5.00 The
Chase 6.00 Regional News; Weather
6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock
from the Sun (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers (r) 2.10 Countdown.
With Dictionary Corner guest Len
Goodman 3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Home or Away (r) 4.00 A New Life in
the Sun. As the summer ends,
decision time arrives for the expat
businesses abroad 5.00 Four in a Bed.
The B&B owners meet for the last
time to find out what they have been
paid (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale. Michelle
Heaton sells the dress she wore to
marry Andy Scott-Lee 6.00 The
Simpsons (r) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Grace
asks Adam to help her with a risky job
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors (r) 1.15
Home and Away 1.45 Neighbours 2.15
NCIS. (1/2) The agents travel to LA to
work with another NCIS team (r) 3.15
FILM Death al Dente: The Gourmet
Detective (PG, TVM, 2015) Henry
Roth is hired to find the best chef for a
new eatery, but a number of deaths
sees him at the heart of another
mystery. Crime thriller with Dylan
Neal 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30
Neighbours. Piper helps Terese make
improvements to her promotional
video (r) 6.00 Home and Away. Tori is
under pressure as Robbo’s condition
continues to deteriorate. Ash takes
his desire for revenge too far and gets
arrested (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Sport Relief’s Helen Skelton (7pm)
Monty Don plants dahlias (8.30pm)
England’s Eric Dier (7.30pm)
Sandra Bullock in The Net (12.10am)
Jane McDonald & Friends (9pm)
7.00 Sport Relief 2018 Gary Lineker,
Davina McCall and Ore Oduba
introduce the biennial
fundraiser as leading lights in
the worlds of sport, music and
entertainment gather at
MediaCityUK in Salford. Kylie
Minogue performs live, while
Wemb
bley Arena hostts a
footballing edition of Strictly
Come Dancing, with David
Ginola, Alex Scott and Chris
Kamara battling it out on the
dance floor — John Barnes also
puts in a special appearance.
Plus, the magician Ben Hanlin
goes behind-the-scenes at
Sports Personality of the Year
wowing Anthony Joshua,
Harry Kane, Paula Radcliffe
and Michael Johnson with his
tricks. See Viewing Guide
7.00 Saving Lives at Sea In Tenby,
police searching for a boat thief
call for assistance. Meanwhile,
the Mumbles lifeguards and
lifeboat crew race to help two
kayakers adrift in a boat laden
with beer (12/12) (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Liv prepares
for her day in court, but fear
gets the better of her
7.00 Channel 4 News
Including sport and weather
7.00 The Gadget Show Georgie
Barrat and Ortis Deley test out
the latest 360-degree cameras
in Las Vegas, while Jon Bentley
asks couples to try out smart
tech bathroom scales (3/12);
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Britain’s Favourite Food Simon
Rimmer looks at branded foods
that found fame in a past era,
such as Angel Delight, Zoom
and Fab lollies, Blue Nun wine
and the ready-made chicken
Kiev. See Viewing Guide (1/2)
8.00 Sandringham: Holidaying with
the Queen Documentary
charting every detail of the
royal family’s Christmas
celebrations at Sandringham.
Contributors include royal
insiders and cultural historians
(r); followed by 5 News Update
9.00 Gogglebox Capturing the
households’ instant reactions
to what they are watching on
television from the comfort
of their own sofas
9.00 Jane McDonald & Friends
Doo-wop harmonies group
the Overtones and the tenor
Russell Watson join the host,
her band and dancers for an
all-singing-and-dancing party
to remember (3/5)
10.00 The Last Leg Adam Hills, Josh
Widdicombe and Alex Brooker
are joined by well-known
guests for a comic review
of the significant moments of
the past seven days (10/10)
10.00 Will & Grace Will and Karen
bond over producing
their own telenovela
11.05 Rude Tube Alex Zane
introduces clips, including a
bulldog addicted to licking his
owner’s head, an underwearstealing cat and possibly the
cutest dog clip ever. Previously
shown on E4 (6/10)
11.05 Greatest Ever Celebrity Wind
Ups Joe Pasquale narrates
more pranks involving famous
faces, including Ant and Dec’s
efforts to spring a surprise on
Jamie Oliver, and Take That’s
Mark Owen being hassled by a
bogus lawyer (3/6) (r)
12.10am FILM The Net (12, 1995)
Thriller with Sandra Bullockand
Dennis Miller. See Film Choice 2.10
Damned (r) (SL) 2.35 Electric Dreams:
Autofac (r) (SL) 3.30 The Question
Jury (r) 4.25 George Clarke’s Amazing
Spaces (r) 5.20 Coast vs Country (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am Cowboy
Builders. A visit to Porthcawl in south
Wales (r) 4.00 The X-Files. Mulder
and Scully investigate a brutal animal
attack on a little boy (r) 4.45 House
Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 House Busters (r)
(SL) 5.35 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
10.00 BBC News at Ten; followed by
BBC Regional News; Weather
and National Lottery Update
10.35 Sport Relief 2018 Davina
McCall and Andrew ‘Freddie’
Flintoff introduce two more
boxing bouts and the climax of
the football marathon with
Robbie Savage’s All Stars
completing 12 hours against
teams from the FA People’s Cup.
Plus, the climax to A Question
of Sport Relief, live music from
Rae Morris, and a special
edition of Pop Star Penalties
from A League of Their Own
1.00am Zoe Ball’s Hardest Road
Home. The presenter cycles from
Blackpool to Brighton to raise money
for Sport Relief and highlight how the
charity supports mental health
projects (r) 2.00 Weather for the
Week Ahead 2.05 BBC News
8.00 David Attenborough’s
Natural Curiosities A look at
the bird’s egg shell (5/6)
8.30 Gardeners’ World At
Longmeadow, Monty Don
starts dahlias and sows
annual climbing plants
9.00 Pilgrimage: The Road to
Santiago The seven famous
faces continue their trek along
the Camino de Santiago
pilgrimage to their destination
of the Cathedral of Santiago
de Compostela. See
Viewing Guide (2/3)
7.30 Live International Football:
Netherlands v England
(Kick-off 7.45). Mark Pougatch
presents all the action from the
friiend
dly att the Joh
han Cruyff
ff
Arena, as England began
preparations for the World Cup.
Gareth Southgate’s men
qualified for the finals unbeaten,
but he will still feel there is
room for improvement as he
looks to find his strongest team
ahead of the finals in Russia.
With analysis from Ian Wright,
Lee Dixon and Patrick Kluivert,
and commentary by Clive
Tyldesley and Glenn Hoddle.
See Viewing Guide
10.00 A Question of Sport Relief
Frank Skinner, Ed Balls, Paddy
McGuinness and Denise Lewis
join the regulars
10.00 ITV News at Ten; followed by
Regional News and Weather
10.40Newsnight The day’s stories
presented by Mark Urban
10.45 International Football
Highlights Netherlands v
England. Mark Pougatch
presents action from the
friendly at the Johan Cruyff
Arena, as England began
preparations for the World Cup
11.15 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew Cunanan lures former
acquaintance Jeff Trail to the
loft-apartment of his current
lover David Madson, where he
bludgeons him to death (4/9) (r)
11.50 Play to the Whistle Holly
Willoughby hosts (1/6) (r)
12.10am FILM The Ones Below (15,
2015) Thriller. See Film Choice
1.30 Sign Zone: Britain’s Equal Pay
Scandal — Panorama (r) (SL) 2.00
Civilisations (r) (SL) 3.00-3.45 The
Assassination of Gianni Versace:
American Crime Story (r) (SL)
12.40am Jackpot247 3.00 Take on the
Twisters. Julia Bradbury presents the
quiz show where contestants
compete to take on the eight giant
sandtimers, with the more they keep
in play, the more money they can win
(r) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
10.30 Lip Sync Battle UK: Aston
Merrygold vs Chris Ramsey
Hosted by Melanie Brown and
Professor Green (2/4)
550 saturday review
1G R
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Anchorman
Friday 23 | Primetime digital guide
Will Ferrell stars as Ron
Burgundy in the comedy
set in a 1970s TV newsroom
Film4, 10.55pm
FV Freeview FS Freesat
BBC Four
ITV3
More4
Film4
Sky One
FV 9, FS 107, SKY 116, VIRGIN 107
FV 10, FS, 115, SKY 119, VIRGIN 117
FV 14, FS 124, SKY 138, VIRGIN 195
FV 15, FS 300, SKY 315, VIRGIN 428
SKY 106, VIRGIN 110
SKY 108
7.00pm World News Today
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1985
Featuring the Conway
Brothers, Eurythmics, Opus
and Bruce Springsteen (R)
8.00 Fleetwood Mac: Don’t Stop
Documentary looking back
over the rock band’s long
career, featuring interviews
with Mick Fleetwood, John
McVie, Lindsey Buckingham
and Stevie Nicks (R)
9.00 Better Than the Original:
The Joy of the Cover
Version Tracking how artists
as varied as the Moody
Blues and Soft Cell have
reinvented other’s music (R)
10.00 Pop Charts Britannia: 60
Years of the Top 10 The
evolution of the British
singles chart (R)
11.30 Top of the Pops: 1985
Shown earlier (R)
12.00-1.00am Ultimate Covers at
the BBC Includes Maria
Carey and UB40 (R)
7.00pm Murder, She Wrote Jessica
Fletcher visits Kentucky,
where she and old friend
Harry McGraw soon find
themselves on the
trail of a killer (R)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple
The sleuthing spinster
teams up with a dashing
man to investigate a series
of poison-pen letters that
has led to suicides in the
village of Lymstock (R)
10.00 The Security Men One-off
comedy about shoppingcentre security guards who
create an elaborate scheme
to hide the fact they’ve let a
robbery occur. Stars Bobby
Ball, Brendan O’Carroll and
Paddy McGuinness (R)
11.00 Killer Women with Piers
Morgan In Florida to meet
Amber Wright (R)
12.00-1.50am Vera DCI Vera
Stanhope investigates an
11-year-old murder case (R)
6.55pm The Supervet Pets with
problems include a rare
breed of bulldog with
multiple issues, and a
Maltese-bichon frise cross
suffering from seizures (R)
7.55 Grand Designs An
experimental house on a
small plot of land in
Peckham, south London,
complete with sliding-glass
roof lights and mezzanine
bedroom pods (R)
9.00 Rough Justice After a civil
servant is killed, Liese
discovers his unusual
“pastime” and is faced with
some questionable
practices in Superintendent
Stevenier’s narcotics
division. In Flemish (3/13)
10.00 24 Hours in A&E
A man who suffered a
cardiac arrest at the gym (R)
11.05-12.05am 24 Hours in A&E A
four-year-old boy rushed in
with a broken thighbone (R)
6.20pm FILM The Way Back
(12, 2010) Soviet gulag
escapees embark on a
4,500-mile journey to
freedom during the Second
World War. Drama starring
Ed Harris, Colin Farrell,
Saoirse Rona, Jim Sturgess
and Mark Strong
9.00 FILM R.I.P.D (12, 2013) A cop
killed in the line of duty is
recruited by a ghostly police
force assigned to battle evil
spirits. Fantasy adventure
starring Ryan Reynolds, Jeff
Bridges, Kevin Bacon and
Mary-Louise Parker
10.55-12.45am FILM Anchorman:
The Legend of Ron
Burgundy (12, 2004) A
chauvinistic newsreader
faces a battle of the sexes
when an ambitious female
reporter threatens his
status. Comedy set in the
1970s starring Will Ferrell
and Christina Applegate
7.00pm The Simpsons Bloodcurdling tales, featuring an
army of Homer clones and
zombie cowboys (R)
7.30 The Simpsons Homer is
asked to help the Rolling
Stones at a benefit gig (R)
8.00 The Simpsons Homer is
accused of stealing a
million-dollar painting
8.30 Modern Family The family
gathers at the roller rink (R)
9.00 Jamestown Jocelyn makes
an enemy of Yeardley, who
hatches an audacious plan
that could not only to
destroy her, but tear the
Sharrows apart and lead
Jamestown into war (8/8)
10.05 The Late Late Show with
James Corden: Best of the
Week Highlights of the talk
show, featuring interviews,
music and sketches (R)
11.05-12.05am The Russell Howard
Hour With the comic
Roisin Conaty (R)
7.00pm CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation The team
discovers a severed head in
the boot of a stolen car and
a torso in the middle of the
desert. Meanwhile, Warrick
deals with the murder of a
gang member (R)
8.00 Blue Bloods Eddie’s
judgment is clouded by her
past when she arrests an
acquaintance from college
on questionable charges (R)
9.00 Game of Thrones The
Hound is judged by the
gods, while Jaime receives a
different form of justice,
Robb is betrayed, Jon
proves himself and Tyrion
learns the true cost of a
wedding (5/10) (R)
10.15 Game of Thrones Roose
Bolton decides what to do
with Jaime (6/10) (R)
11.25-12.40am Game of Thrones
Melisandre reveals a secret
to Gendry (7/10) (R)
ITV2
ITV4
E4
5STAR
Talking Pictures
Drama
FV 6, FS 113, SKY 118, VIRGIN 115
FV 24, FS 117, SKY 120, VIRGIN 118
FV 28, FS 122, SKY 136, VIRGIN 106
FV 30, FS 131, SKY 176, VIRGIN 151
FV 81, FS 306, SKY 343, VIRGIN 445
FV 20, FS 158, SKY 158, VIRGIN 128
7.00pm You’ve Been Framed!
Funniest 100 Highlights
8.00 FILM Crazy, Stupid, Love (12,
2011) Comedy with Steve Carell as
a newly single dad getting dating
tips from smooth operator Ryan
Gosling. Also stars Emma Stone
10.20 Family Guy Brian and Stewie
embark on an epic journey
10.50 Family Guy Stewie’s teddy
bear is ruined by a dog
11.20 Family Guy Peter’s mother
and father get a divorce
11.50-12.20am American Dad!
6.45pm Live Snooker: Players
Championship Coverage of the
evening session on day five,
featuring the opening semi-final
from Venue Cymru in Llandudno,
played over the best of 11 frames.
Presented by Jill Douglas, with
analysis by Alan McManus and
Neal Foulds, and commentary by
Clive Everton and Phil Yates
11.00-12.05am FILM Wanted (18,
2008) Action adventure starring
James McAvoy, Angelina Jolie
and Morgan Freeman
7.00pm Hollyoaks Drama
following young people in Chester
7.30 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts Videos
on the themes of exercise and pets
7.45 FILM School of Rock (PG,
2003) Comedy starring Jack Black,
Joan Cusack, Mike White, Sarah
Silverman and Adam Pascal
10.00 Five Star Hotel The happy
couple are less than delighted as
their wedding nears (10/15)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory
11.35 The Big Bang Theory
12.00-1.05am First Dates
7.00pm Last Man Standing
Vanessa feels the pressure as
Christmas approaches
7.30 Last Man Standing Mike and
Vanessa bet on the outcome of
their annual Polar Run
8.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
In Staffordshire, the agents chase
up a £3,000 deposit owed by a
landlord to his tenant
9.00-12.10am FILM Robin Hood:
Prince of Thieves (PG, 1991)
Action adventure starring Kevin
Costner and Alan Rickman
6.35pm The Edgar Wallace
Mystery Theatre A husband hires
a hitman to kill his wife
7.45 Glimpses: Rock of Gibraltar
The importance of the promontory
during the Second World War
8.00 FILM Conspiracy of Hearts
(U, 1960) Second World War drama
starring Lilli Palmer, Sylvia Syms,
Yvonne Mitchell and Ronald Lewis
10.15-12.50am FILM The
Cassandra Crossing (PG, 1976)
All-star train disaster movie with
Richard Harris and Sophia Loren
6.40pm Last of the Summer Wine
Clegg’s decision to write his
memoirs causes Howard
a great deal of concern
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine
Smiler begins attending a poetry
group and is inspired to write verse
8.00 Miss Fisher’s Murder
Mysteries Phryne and Jack
discover buried treasure
9.00 WPC 56 WPC Gina
Dawson is beginning to enjoy
being under cover as Ruby
10.00-12.30am Waking the Dead
Yesterday
5Spike
Dave
PBS America
Sky Arts
Sky Living
FV 19, FS 159, SKY 537, VIRGIN 245
FV 31, FS 141, SKY 160
FV 12, FS 157, SKY 111, VIRGIN 127
FV 94, FS 155, SKY 534, VIRGIN 276
SKY 121, VIRGIN 122
SKY 107, VIRGIN 112
7.00pm Nazi Victory: The
Post-War Plan Hitler’s plans to
revolutionise Germany’s transport
system. Last in the series
8.00 Who Do You Think You Are?
The actor and adventurer Brian
Blessed uncovers the life of his
great-great-grandfather
9.00 Steptoe and Son
9.40 Steptoe and Son
10.20 Steptoe and Son
11.00 Impossible Railways
12.00-1.00am Games on the
Battlefield Documentary
7.00pm Police Interceptors
A dangerous disqualified driver
8.00 The A-Team The courageous
crusaders take on a chemical
company dumping toxic waste on
a site occupied by a Vietnam
veteran and his blind sister
9.00 The A-Team The gang springs
into action and searches for clues
when Murdock is kidnapped
10.00 Car Crash TV Examining
events caught on film by
dashboard-mounted cameras
11.00-1.00am Impact Wrestling
7.00pm World’s Most Dangerous
Roads The broadcasters Sue
Perkins and Liza Tarbuck drive
along the Ho Chi Minh Trail
8.00 Motorway Cops: Rush-Hour
Roulette Featuring a lorry fire
causing chaos on the M180
9.00 Dynamo: Magician
Impossible The illusionist dives
from the roof of the LA Times
headquarters in Los Angeles
10.00 QI XL
11.00 QI With Howard Goodall
11.40-12.20am Would I Lie to You?
6.55pm Korean War: Battle of
Chosin Documentary
8.05 Lancaster: Reunion of Giants
A mission to have two Avro
Lancaster Bombers flying side by
side for the first time in 50 years,
with one of the planes flying to
England from Hamilton, Ontario
9.50 The War The end of the
Second World War in the Far East
10.55-12.10am Ortona 1943: A Very
Bloody Christmas Examining the
events surrounding the Second
World War battle
6.00pm Pavarotti: A Voice for the
Ages A selection of the tenor’s
finest moments on stage, including
performances of Nessun Dorma
and Donna non Vidi Mai
7.15 Mario Lanza: The Best of
Everything The life and career of
the tenor and movie star
9.00 The Glyndebourne Opera
Cup Behind the scenes of the
singing competition
11.00-12.35am Classic
Quadrophenia A classical spin on
the Who’s 1973 album
7.00pm The Real A&E
8.00 America’s Next Top Model
The dream of being a cover girl
becomes a nightmare for the top
six as they are assigned personas
out of their comfort zones
9.00 The Good Doctor Surgery is
planned to allow a young patient to
smile for the first time
10.00 Nashville Daphne struggles
with the idea of Deacon dating
11.00 Criminal Minds
12.00-1.00am CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation Crime drama
Fox
Discovery
Nat Geographic
Comedy Central
Gold
W
SKY 124, VIRGIN 157
SKY 520, VIRGIN 250, BT 316
SKY 526, VIRGIN 266, BT 327
SKY 112, VIRGIN 132, BT 307
SKY 110, VIRGIN 124, BT 310
SKY 109, VIRGIN 125, BT 311
7.00pm NCIS
8.00 NCIS
9.00 NCIS A Navy Lieutenant JAG
lawyer is found dead
10.00 Bull The jury consultant
represents a teenager arrested for
robbing a jewellery store
11.00 Family Guy
12.00-12.30am American Dad!
7.00pm Wheeler Dealers
8.00 Motor Mega Week 2018
Builds And Race
10.00 Shifting Gears with Aaron
Kaufman Aaron Kaufman checks
out a 1971 International Scout
11.00 Wheeler Dealers
12.00-1.00am Motor Mega Week
2018 Builds And Race
7.00pm Air Crash Investigation
A bid to determine the fate of
Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370
8.00 Car SOS
9.00 Car SOS
10.00 Air Crash Investigation
11.00 Air Crash Investigation
12.00-1.00am Air Crash
Investigation Documentary
7.00pm Friends
8.00 Your Face or Mine
8.30 Impractical Jokers
10.00 Bob’s Burgers
10.30 Rick and Morty
11.00 South Park
12.00-2.00am FILM Bruno (18,
2009) Spoof documentary
starring Sacha Baron Cohen
6.40pm Dad’s Army
8.00 dinnerladies
9.20 Only Fools and Horses
10.00 The Vicar of Dibley The first
episode. See Viewing Guide
10.40 The Vicar of Dibley
Comedy. See Viewing Guide
11.20 Smack the Pony
11.55-12.30am Smack the Pony
7.00pm MasterChef Junior USA
The two finalists make a threecourse meal. Last in the series
8.00 Inside the Ambulance
9.00 999 Rescue Squad A
suspected acid attack in Bradford
10.00 Embarrassing Bodies
11.00 Rent a Cop
11.40-12.20am Rent a Cop
Sky Premiere
Sky Greats
Sky Family
Sky Action Men
Sky Select
SKY 301, VIRGIN 431, BT 501
SKY 304, VIRGIN 434, BT 508
SKY 306, VIRGIN 436, BT 505
SKY 307, VIRGIN 437, BT 502
SKY 312, VIRGIN 442, BT 510
5.20pm Transformers: The Last
Knight (12, 2017) Fantasy
adventure starring Mark Wahlberg
8.00 Going in Style (12, 2017)
A trio of cash-strapped retirees
decide to rob a Brooklyn bank.
Heist caper starring Morgan
Freeman, Michael Caine and Alan
Arkin. See Film Choice
9.45 It Comes At Night (15, 2017)
Horror thriller starring Joel
Edgerton and Carmen Ejogo
11.25-1.20am The Land (15, 2016)
Drama starring Jorge Lendeborg Jr
5.40pm Love Actually (15, 2003)
Romantic comedy, with Hugh
Grant and Martine McCutcheon
8.00 K-19: The Widowmaker (12,
2002) The crewmen of Russia’s
first nuclear submarine struggle to
prevent a cataclysmic reactor
explosion. Fact-based thriller with
Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson
10.20 Kidulthood (15, 2005) Urban
drama starring Noel Clarke
12.00-2.00am Money Train (18,
1995) Action comedy with Woody
Harrelson and Wesley Snipes
6.10pm Lemony Snicket’s A Series
of Unfortunate Events (PG, 2004)
Comedy adventure starring Jim
Carrey, Meryl Streep, Jude Law,
Liam Aitken and Emily Browning
8.00 Night at the Museum: Battle
of the Smithsonian (PG, 2009)
Fantasy comedy sequel starring
Ben Stiller and Amy Adams
9.50 Toys (PG, 1992) Comedy
starring Robin Williams
11.55-1.50am Pete’s Dragon (PG,
2016) Adventure starring Bryce
Dallas Howard and Oakes Fegley
6.00pm The Terminator (15, 1984)
Sci-fi thriller starring Arnold
Schwarzenegger
8.00 Top Gun (12, 1986) An
arrogant pilot causes conflict when
he joins an elite US Navy fighter
school, and falls for his civilian
instructor. Aerial action adventure
with Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis
10.00 RoboCop (18, 1987) Sci-fi
thriller starring Peter Weller
12.00-1.45am Bloodsport (18,
1988) Action adventure with
Jean-Claude Van Damme
6.05pm Loving (12, 2016)
Drama starring Ruth Negga
8.15 The Darjeeling Limited (15,
2007) Three brothers take a trip
across India after their father’s
death and go in search of their
estranged mother. Comedy drama
starring Owen Wilson
10.00 Kill Bill: Vol 1 (18, 2003)
Martial arts thriller starring Uma
Thurman and Lucy Liu
12.00-2.25am Kill Bill: Vol 2 (18,
2004) Revenge thriller sequel
starring Uma Thurman
Naomi Battrick stars as Jocelyn
as season two of Jamestown
concludes (Sky One, 9pm)
Sky Atlantic
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 51
1G R
Friday 23
Sports guide
Live Football
Sky Sports Football, 7.30pm
Radio 1
The second coming of Alex
McLeish as Scotland manager
gets under way tonight as the
Scots take on Costa Rica
in an international friendly
at Hampden Park (kick-off
7.45pm). Six players were called
up to the squad for the first time,
and 14 of the 27-man squad
are under-25. The new caps
include Manchester United’s
English-born midfielder
Scott McTominay, pictured,
whose father is Scottish. JC
Sky Sports Main Event
SKY 401 VIRGIN 511 BT 402
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket:
New Zealand v England
8.25 LIVE Test Cricket: South
Africa v Australia
4.00pm Test Cricket
5.00 Cricket Debate
5.30 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
7.30 LIVE Betfred Super
League: Leeds Rhinos v
Castleford Tigers
(Kick-off 7.45)
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00 Cricket Debate
12.30am LIVE Test Cricket:
New Zealand v England
5.00 LIVE Formula 1: The
Australian Grand Prix
The qualifying session
(Start-time 6.00)
Sky Sports Football
SKY 403 VIRGIN 513
7.30 LIVE International
Football: Scotland v Costa
Rica (Kick-off 7.45)
Sky Sports Cricket
SKY 404 VIRGIN 514
6.00am LIVE Test Cricket:
New Zealand v England
8.25-4.00pm LIVE Test
Cricket: South Africa v
Australia
12.30am-6.00 LIVE Test
Cricket: New Zealand v
England
Sky Sports Golf
SKY 405 VIRGIN 515
2.15pm LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
6.00-12.00 LIVE World Golf
Championships The WGCDell Match Play Championship
Sky Sports Action
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Nick Grimshaw
10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills
4.00 MistaJam 5.45 Newsbeat
6.00 MistaJam 7.00 Danny
Howard 9.00 Pete Tong 11.00
Monki 1.00am B.Traits 4.00
Radio 1’s Essential Mix
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
1.00am-3.00 LIVE
International Netball The
third-place play-off of the
Taini Jamison Trophy
4.10-6.20 LIVE Super Rugby:
Sunwolves v Chiefs
Sky Sports Arena
SKY 408 VIRGIN 518
6.30am LIVE NRL:
Canterbury-Bankstown
Bulldogs v Penrith Panthers
8.45-10.45 LIVE NRL: Wests
Tigers v Brisbane Broncos
(Kick-off 9.05)
3.00pm-2.00am LIVE ATP
Masters Tennis Miami Open
Sky Sports F1
SKY 406 VIRGIN 516
2.45am-4.10 LIVE Formula 1:
The Australian Grand Prix
The third practice session
5.00 LIVE Formula 1: The
Australian Grand Prix
The qualifying session
(Start-time 6.00)
BT Sport 1
SKY 413 VIRGIN 531 BT 408
8.45am-11.00 LIVE Hyundai
A-League: Adelaide United v
Newcastle Jets (Kick-off 8.50)
7.00pm-10.00 LIVE Aviva
Premiership Rugby Union:
Bath v Exeter Chiefs
(Kick-off 7.45)
11.30-2.00am LIVE NBA: New
York Knicks v Minnesota
Timberwolves (Tip-off 11.30)
BT Sport 2
SKY 414 VIRGIN 532 BT 409
8.30am-11.30 LIVE AFL:
Essendon Bombers v
Adelaide Crows
3.00pm-11.00 LIVE WTA
Tennis The Miami Open
1.30am-3.30 LIVE WTA Tennis
Day four of the Miami Open
BT Sport 3
SKY 417 VIRGIN 533 BT 410
SKY 407 VIRGIN 517
6.30am-8.30 LIVE Super
Rugby: Crusaders v Bulls
(Kick-off 6.35)
8.40-10.30 LIVE Super
Rugby: Rebels v Sharks
(Kick-off 8.45)
7.30pm-10.30 LIVE Betfred
Super League: Leeds Rhinos
v Castleford Tigers
(Kick-off 7.45)
Radio guide
7.30pm-9.45 LIVE
International Football:
Germany v Spain
10.00-12.30am LIVE NCAA
Swimming & Diving (M)
Eurosport 1
SKY 410 VIRGIN 523 BT 412
2.45pm-4.15 LIVE Cycling:
Tour of Catalunya
5.00am Vanessa Feltz 6.30
Chris Evans. With guests Bryan
Cranston and George Ezra
9.30 Ken Bruce. Including John
Parr’s final Tracks of My Years
12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm
Steve Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo
7.00 Tony Blackburn’s Golden
Hour 8.00 Friday Night Is
Music Night (r) 10.00 Sounds
of the 80s 12.00 Anneka Rice:
The Happening 2.00am Radio
2’s Funky Soul Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Debussy
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime
Concert Debussy (Étude No 10,
pour les sonorités opposées;
Images — Book 2; and La
cathédrale engloutie —
from Preludes, Book 1);
and Pizzetti (Piano Trio)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Brahms (Symphony No 3,
Op 90); Beethoven (Violin
Concerto, Op 61);
Mendelssohn (Calm Sea and
Prosperous, Op 27); Neruda
(Concerto for Trumpet and
Strings); and Sibelius
(Symphony No 1, Op 39)
5.00 In Tune
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Debussy (Nocturnes); Mozart
(Piano Concerto No 27 in E-flat
major, K595); Messiaen (Les
offrandes oubliées); and
Debussy (La Mer)
10.00 The Verb
10.45 The Free Thinking Essay.
See Choice
11.00 World on 3
1.00am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz
LW: 198 kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am-8.31 (LW)
Live Test Match Special:
New Zealand v England
5.30 News Headlines
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in
Parliament
9.00 Desert Island Discs (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Keywords for Our Time
Today’s picks
The Essay: What Do You Do
If You Are a Manically
Depressed Robot?
Radio 3, 10.45pm
The Unpleasantness
at the Bellona Club
Radio 4 Extra, 8pm
The “control problem” is well
known in artificial intelligence
circles. It asks how it is possible
“to design something that is
both much cleverer than you
are and yet still willing to do
what you want it to”. One
academic describes the problem of getting “meaningful human
control over an AI system after it begins to operate”. In The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, pictured,
the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defined it as “not covered
under our comprehensive five-year warranty”. The prospect of
AI running away from you was once amusing science fiction. As
it becomes science fact the joke starts to pall. What does not pall
is Adams’s prescient brilliance. In this essay the philosopher
Simon Beard looks at AI in Adams, and asks what we can learn
from it. In short: see the funny side. Catherine Nixey
Examining key phrases
10.00 Woman’s Hour At 10.45
the Drama: Delphine de Vigan’s
Based on a True Story (5/5)
11.00 The Charity Business
Documentary (3/3)
11.30 A Normal Family (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping
Forecast
12.04 Home Front (11/40)
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Book of the Week:
The Wood
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Suggs — My
Mad-Life Crisis The Madness
frontman tells his story (r)
3.00 Gardeners’ Question
Time Horticulture
3.45 Short Works
4.00 Last Word
4.30 Feedback
4.55 The Listening Project
5.00 PM With Eddie Mair
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Now Show
7.00 The Archers Brian’s
nightmare continues
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Based on a True Story
8.00 Any Questions? A debate
8.50 A Point of View
9.00 Home Front Omnibus
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Reservoir 13 By Jon McGregor
11.00 A Good Read (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
11.55 The Listening Project
12.00 News Headlines
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Wood (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00-5.20 (LW)
Test Match Special:
New Zealand v England
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
5.00am Reports 5.15 Wake Up
to Money 6.00 5 Live Breakfast
10.00 Chiles on Friday 1.00pm
The Friday Sports Panel 2.00
Kermode and Mayo’s Film
Review 4.00 5 Live Drive
7.00 5 Live Sport 7.45 5 Live
Sport: International Football
2017-18 — Netherlands v
England (Kick-off 7.45)
10.00 Stephen Nolan
1.00am Up All Night
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil
Sports Breakfast with Ally
McCoist 10.00 Max Rushden,
Perry Groves and Bob Mills
1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Darren Gough
7.00 The Season Ticket with
Danny Kelly and Laura Woods
10.00 The Two Mikes 1.00am
Extra Time with Tom Latchem
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am I’m Sorry I’ll Read
That Again 8.30 Brothers in
Law 9.00 The Motion Show
9.30 Kathmandu or Bust
10.00 Pinkerton 10.45 David
Attenborough’s Life Stories
11.00 Short Works: The World
of Somerset Maugham 11.15 In
Extremis 12.00 I’m Sorry I’ll
Read That Again 12.30pm
Brothers in Law 1.00 The
Unpleasantness at the
Bellona Club 1.30 The High
Street Handicap 2.00 The
Norfolk Mystery 2.15
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen’s
History of Home 2.30 The Old
Curiosity Shop 2.45 The North
(and Almost Everything in It)
3.00 Pinkerton 4.00 The
Motion Show 4.30
Kathmandu or Bust
5.00 The Emerald Green
Show 5.30 In and Out of the
Kitchen 6.00 The Destruction
Factor 6.30 Mastertapes
7.00 I’m Sorry I’ll Read That
Again 7.30 Brothers in Law
8.00 The Unpleasantness at
the Bellona Club. See Choice
8.30 The High Street Handicap
9.00 Podcast Radio Hour
10.00 Comedy Club: In and
Out of the Kitchen 10.30 The
Show What You Wrote
This week Dorothy L Sayers’s
sleuthing aristocrat Lord
Peter Wimsey is at his club,
the Bellona. He’s there to
solve the riddle of why
on earth the rich, elderly
General Fentiman has been
found there dead in his
armchair. Who knows?
Although it’s nice to imagine
that perhaps the murderer
mistook him for that
insufferable bore Wimsey.
Still, however annoying the
protagonist, this is a nice
dose of 1920s escapism.
Starring Ian Carmichael
and Martin Jarvis. CN
10.55 The Comedy Club
Interview 11.00 Kevin Eldon
Will See You Now 11.30
Chain Reaction
BBC World Service
Digital only
9.00am The Real Story
10.00 World Update 11.00
Newsroom 11.30 World
Football 12.00 News
12.06pm The 5th Floor 1.00
Newsroom 1.30 Heart and
Soul 2.00 Newshour 3.00
News 3.06 Tech Tent 3.30
Business 4.00 BBC OS 6.00
News 6.06 The 5th Floor
7.00 Newsroom 7.30 Sport
Today 8.00 News 8.06
Trending 8.30 CrowdScience
9.00 Newshour 10.00
Newsroom 10.20 Sports
News 10.30 Business 11.00
News 11.06 HARDtalk 11.30
World Football 12.00 News
12.06am From Our Own
Correspondent 12.30
CrowdScience 1.00 News
1.06 Business Matters 2.00
News 2.06 Newsroom 2.30
Heart and Soul 3.00 News
3.06 Global Business 3.30
Stumped 4.00 The Real Story
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny
10.00 Lauren Laverne
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and
Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Iggy Pop 9.00
Tom Ravenscroft 12.00
Nemone’s Electric Ladyland
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music
Breakfast 9.00 John Suchet
1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall
5.00 Classic FM Drive 7.00
Smooth Classics 8.00 The
Full Works Concert. Pieces by
Beethoven, Faure, Berlioz
and Bizet 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Katie
Breathwick 4.00 Jane Jones
552 saturday review
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
1G R
MindGames
Samurai Sudoku No 603 — Medium (34min)
4
6
9
8
6
Sudoku No 9736 — Fiendish
8
5 6
7
9
1
7
6 3
2
5
7 9
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3 4
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06510001867
– 16
x7
+ 2/5 OF IT
50% OF IT
x4
÷2
+ 97
+6
+ 1/2 OF IT
50% OF IT
+ 79
+5
80% OF IT
80% OF IT
– 784
1/2 OF IT
+ 662
x3
– 76
–8
75% OF IT
÷2
x3
x2
ANSWER
ANSWER
ANSWER
+ 1/5 OF IT
l
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Answers
Friday’s solutions
KenKen No 4277
Sudoku No 9733
9
8
5
4
6
1
7
2
3
22
17
10
16
3
25
21
22
21
0651000186
11
Our five-grid Sudoku will
test your powers of logic
and deduction — against
the clock.
Fill each grid so that
every column, every row
and every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9. Where the
puzzles overlap, the rows
and columns do not go beyond their usual length. The
interlocking nature of the
grid gives you more clues
— and more complexity.
Remember — don’t try to
solve each Sudoku grid in
turn; the puzzle has to be
tackled as a whole.
Stuck? Call 0901 322 5005
to receive four clues for
any of today’s puzzles.
Calls cost 75p plus your
telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390
(Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm)
7
13
23
17
Sudoku No 9734
7
6
8
5
9
3
4
1
2
8
8
19
22
26
18
7
18
9
1
4
7
2
6
3
8
5
5
3
2
4
8
1
9
6
7
2
8
9
3
4
7
6
5
1
23
17
4
1
9
7
8
2
3
5
6
Fill the grid so that every column, every row and every
3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells
joined by dotted lines must add up to the target
number in its top-left corner. Within each set of cells
joined by dotted lines, a digit cannot be repeated.
For solutions to KenKen, Sudoku & Killer see
Times2 on Monday
7
5
6
9
3
1
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2
4
2
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2
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3
4
1
4
1
Tredoku
No 1517 — Medium
Tredoku is similar to Sudoku:
the digits 1 to 9 must appear once
only in each 3x3 box and in each
line of nine consecutive cells.
However, since the puzzle is
three-dimensional, the lines may
be straight or bent around angles.
Follow each line’s direction in
search of clues.
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column.
In each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top
left-hand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells
in the block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
3
4
2
9
1
7
6
8
5
8
5
7
2
3
6
9
4
1
6
1
9
8
4
5
2
3
7
4
6
1
3
7
9
8
5
2
2
9
8
1
5
4
3
7
6
5
7
3
6
8
2
4
1
9
3
2
5
1
9
7
6
8
4
8
4
7
5
3
6
9
1
2
5
7
3
4
1
8
2
9
6
4
8
6
9
5
2
7
3
1
1
9
2
6
7
3
4
5
8
7
6
1
3
4
5
8
2
9
9
3
4
8
2
1
5
6
7
2
5
8
7
6
9
1
4
3
7
3
8
2
4
1
6
5
9
2
4
6
9
5
7
1
3
8
1
7
2
8
3
6
9
4
5
4
9
5
1
7
2
8
6
3
6
8
3
5
9
4
2
7
1
3
6
9
7
1
5
4
8
2
8
1
4
6
2
3
5
9
7
5
2
7
4
8
9
3
1
6
Codeword
3
6
KenKen No 4278 — Medium
7
2
4
5
9
3
1
6
8
Killer No 5914
3
A
1
3
6
7
2
8
5
9
4
Sudoku No 9735
3
5
6
8
1
2
7
9
4
Train Tracks No 357
B
Sudoku/Killer © Puzzler Media
KenKen™ Puzzles are used with permission
of Gakken Co Ltd and Nextoy, LLC
Puzzle content © 2009 Gakken Co Ltd
Tredoku © Mindome Ltd 2009. TREDOKU®
is the registered trademark of Mindome
1
4
7
9
6
5
8
2
3
Killer No 5913
11
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
7
9
8
5
1
3
2
4
6
125
+ 88
Killer No 5915 — Deadly (55min)
© PUZZLER MEDIA
3
5
2
6
4
9
1
7
8
146
Answers, below right
Solution to last week’s Samurai Sudoku
6
1
4
7
2
8
3
9
5
5 2
Stuck on KenKen, Killer or Sudoku?
Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues
for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your
telephone company’s network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
6
i P
36
x2
5
1
3 9
5
7
8
5
4 9
5
3
2 1
5
3
7
4 9
5
1
7
6
8
4
7
C
HARDER
9
9
1
7
MEDIUM
4 9
How to solve Sudoku. Fill the grid so that every column,
every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9
9
1
6
2
8
6
6 3
7
5
6
7
7 2
7
4
EASY
8
5
8
5
7 2
4
2
9
1
8 9
7 5
3
2
1
4
2
2 9
7
7
5
6
9
8
6
1
1
Brain Trainer
T
J
O
E X EMP
A
E
A
T OP P L
I
MOW S
E
O
P
N OWA
O D
V OWE L
E
I
U
RAN
D
T
D O
H G D
T I ON O I
D
A
V
E D WH E A
E
C
ONGBOOK
U
T
DA Y S
EM
F
R E S E R V
E
T
O
I S R E P U T
H M
T
B
L
I
T
Z
Q
U
I
E
T
E
N
The Listener
4491
A Dreadful
Puzzle by
Dysart
Jumbled
answers were
10 hog-pen, 15
gore, 20 cholo,
29 cyton, 36
gaol, 40 ourali,
6dn on tap, 16dn hornito, 32 Sophy. Their entries
are prefixes for phobias (collectively described by
altering 14 to “fear”); extra words in clues gave
the objects, apart from pain (algophobia). The
cartoon character Andy Capp is noted for his
aversion to work (ergophobia). More details at
listenercrossword.com. The winners are Uday
L Sheorey of New Malden, Surrey, John Whipp
of Leighton Buzzard, Bedfordshire, and
AC Boden of Oldbury, West Midlands.
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 53
1G R
Cryptic Quintagram® Word Watching
Solve all five cryptic clues using
Josephine Balmer
each letter underneath only once
1 Good people in favour (5)
Pellock
a. A horse saddle
b. An idiot
c. A porpoise
-----
2 Street with place for taxi to wait
(5)
-----
Pellucid
a. Very clear
b. Cloudy
c. Badly-argued
3 Seabird getting home on a short
burst of wind (6)
------
4 Queen on board ship shows long
narrow flag (8)
5 Man going after source of grapes
that’s sour (8)
D
E
E
E
E
F
F
G
G
I
I
M
N
N
N
P
R
R
R
R
S
S
T
T
U
V
Y
Answers below; for Concise, see Register
P A S S U P
E
T
I
S H OWA C
O
O
N
S P E L L O U
P
B
A S P I R A T
T
G
R
F A R E
H
T
O
A
B U R N I N G
E
N
S T E R E O T
T
E
Y
D E A D L I N
H
N
T H R O U G H
A
T
T R I P O D
D
O
I
T A K E T H
O
E
C
O P E R A H A
G R OW T H
A
H
O
T H E O T H
I
E
H
G O A L P O S
B
U
C H E A P S K
A
R
E
D Y E R
C
M
O
S
W A RW I C K
K
A
W I L L Y N I
N
E
T
I G N A T I U
D
L
P O L I C Y H
C
N
S T I G M A
A
E
D
V I D E O C
I
G
P
T A L E N T E
V I L L A G
A
I
P
L E A N P A
E
I
R
T
S OO N
O
P
I O N
R A
N
I
A N D B A L
N
E
T
I S S U E
T
D
Y P E
GO
M
R
E
O V E R
X
N
E
T R A I N
R
W
O B S C E N
V
O
L
E B U L L B
R
N
I
T
D R E S
S E R V I N
W
E
N
E R S I D E
E
P
I
T
I N V O
T
I
A T E
S H
E
I
R E D I B L
O
A
L
S H I R E
O
R
L L Y
U L
M
N
S
A D D I
C
I
E
O L D E R
R
W
E M P E R O
C
A
I
A S S E T T
R
T
E
D
A R R A
E
S
L
H
I R O
T
R
E S T
L
B B I
I
S
L
T
L
B O T
O
E
A L L
R
L
D O I
N
B I G
Y
E
A
B
B
Y T H
E
O
S E R
G
M
H
O
O F T
U
H
L V E
A
I R T
N
E
E
N
L
A T A
S
C
T R A
I
D
C T E
M
B L E
U
R
O
G
B
E R E
O
S
N G E
I recently played one of my regular tournaments, the Northern
Ireland Championships, held in
Belfast. Since the event began in
2007, the standard of play has risen annually and this year’s championship saw that trend continue.
Here are a few examples of the
impressive words played at this
year’s event:
GRAZIOSO – (adj.) musical
Pellum
a. A small mammal
b. Dust
c. A percussion instrument
--------A - A- -A- -A -C-
Scrabble® Paul Gallen
term meaning graceful or
smooth
YAKITORI – (n.) Japanese
skewered chicken
AZYGOUS – (adj.) occurring
singly (in a vein or muscle)
MESMERIC – (adj.) pertaining to hypnotism
Pellitory
a. Of a long journey
b. Extremely narrow
c. A type of plant
Answers below
E E S T A R S
T
H
E
F H E E L S
O
T
E
S P H E R E
I
V
T WA R R E N
I
D
E N E M E N T
D
A
E
T L E N E C K
A
T
E S S D R AW
S
O
R
T
WE I R
P
N
N
B R O T H E R
E
O
M A T E U R S
C
A
O
E H O R N S
E
T
T
D A H L I A
E D I T A T E
R
R
O
H E C O I N
S
U
S
S U B D U E
L
R
S L E E V E S
O
S
E C R O S I S
A
M
N
S T R E T C H
I
E
M O N T A N E
N
R
T
D
A R I A
W
P
V
A R Y E Y E D
I
Z
U T H O U S E
E
I
E
C O R D E R
F
A
G
F A L T E R
Solution to Cryptic
Jumbo 1311
The winner is Ted
Rayson of Beoley,
Worcestershire
A disappointing first day of
five wins and three losses left me
in eighth place overnight but I recovered to finish the tournament
in third place. Here are a few
pleasing plays from a selection of
my games.
In game three of the tournament, I was faced with the board
position in the extract opposite
with the following rack:
adiopry
Can you find the eight-letter
word that I played which scored
80 points?
Later in the same game, I held
Chess Raymond Keene
4
5
B
6
7
8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
3L
3L
C
2L
D
2W
E
2W
2L
F
2W
3L
H
2L
I
J
K
3L
3L
2L
2L
2L
t
2L
wawa
a
2L
iner ial
3L
3L
3L
s
2W
L
d
e
2W
2W
G
2W
2L
2W
2W
2L
2W
2L
the following rack:
DEFIILM
Can you find the seven-letter
word available? As a separate
challenge, what eight-letter word
could I have played if there had
been a floating D available?
In my match against the eventual tournament winner, the 2016
world champion Brett Smitheram, I trailed by 50 points in the
pre-endgame with the following
rack and board position as illustrated below:
Aabe?st
Using the blank as a G, can
you find my bonus word, which
scored 92 points? Thankfully, the
last two tiles in the bag were I
and E, which allowed me to finish the game on my next turn to
win by 14 points.
Definitions
PENGO former currency of
Hungary
RUCHE a frill or pleat of fabric
Collins Official Scrabble Words is the word authority used.
Word positions use the grid reference plus (a)cross or (d)own.
double letter
square (dl)
2L
1
Solution to times2
Jumbo 1311
The winner is Roger
A Birkett of Darton,
South Yorkshire
Cell Blocks 3168
4
2 3
2
3
2
4
4
10
6
2
7
Suko 2187
2
3
4
3L
5
6
triple letter
square (tl)
7
8
double word
square (dw)
2W
Letter
re values
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
3W
2L
li
3L
qin 3L
ren
2L
2L
C
un
upo
2L
2W
D 2L io 2W
ow
2W
E
S
t
bach?
F
t
v
jaw ee
2L
G
ef
a 2L a
do
2L
H gravel
oy
u
I
z
ohm 2L
d t
3L
J
pe
r
i 3L l
2W
K
e russets
t e
2W
2W
L 2L n
k
ama
2L
2L
M
g 2W
lid
3L
N
o
n 3L
x
2L
2L
3W
O 3W
g
A
triple word
square (tw)
3W
3W
B
1 point:
aeiou
lnrst
2 points:
dg
3 points:
bcmp
4 points:
fhvwy
k=5
jx = 8
qz = 10
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2018
Polygon eolith, heir, helot,
heriot, herl, hero, hertz, hike,
hiker, hilt, hire, hoer, hoke,
hoki, hole, holt, hotel,
kilohertz, kith, kohl, lithe,
litho, loth, other, their, thiol,
thole, zeroth, zither.
Scrabble PODIATRY (D12d);
MIDLIFE and MIDFIELD;
TEABAGS (G12d). The less
common ATABEGS is also
playable in the same spot.
Literary quiz 1 To Kill A
Mocking Bird (Harper Lee).
2 The Waste Land (TS Eliot).
3 Gone With the Wind
Margaret Mitchell). 4 A
Portrait of the Artist as a
Young Man (James Joyce).
Brain Trainer Easy 29;
Medium 549; Harder
5352.
Cryptic Quintagram
1 Grace 2 Stand 3 Puffin
4 Stream 5 Vinegary.
Polygon Roger Phillips Cell Blocks 3169
4
Using the given letters no more than
once, make as many words as possible of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Capitalised words,
plurals, conjugated verbs (past tense
etc), adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives are disallowed.
How you rate: 15 words average; 21,
good; 26, very good; 32, excellent.
Answers to Friday’s Polygon are to the
left. Today’s answers are printed in
MindGames on Monday
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Mindset 1. Highway Code.
The words are FREEWAY,
LANE, AVENUE, TRUNK
ROAD, BOULEVARD,
EXPRESSWAY, DUAL
CARRIAGEWAY; enciphered
using HIGWAYBCDEFJKL
MNOPQRSTUVXZ in place
of ABCDE... etc
2. 54321. 1=20; 2=21; 3=21+20;
4=22; 5=22+20; 6=22+21 etc;
62=25+24+23+22+21
3. {MICHIGAN, NORTH
DAKOTA}, {MINNESOTA,
IDAHO}, {MARYLAND,
INDIANA}. State
abbreviations form a
complete set of MINDs:
{MI,ND}, {MN,ID}, {MD, IN}.
Word Watching:
Pellock (c) A porpoise
(Scots). Pellucid (a) Very
clear, bright or translucent.
Pellum (b) Dust (Southwest
dialect). Pellitory (c)
A species of plant that
grows in crevices.
3
2
6
3
6
6
5
2
3
2
3
4
Divide the grid into square
or rectangular blocks, each
containing one digit only. Every
block must contain the number
of cells indicated by the digit
inside it.
Yesterday’s solution, left
The FIDE World Chess Candidates tournament to determine a challenger for Magnus
Carlsen in his title defence set
for London later this year is
currently in progress. Games
can be followed in real time via
the 2seeitlive link on the
header of The Times Twitter
feed @times_chess.
The early rounds proved to
be bloodthirsty, with half of
the games being decisive. This
is a reasonably high proportion
for such an elite convocation
of chessboard matadors. Perhaps the more attractive victory was achieved by the Russian grandmaster Alexander
Grischuk against Chess Olympiad gold medallist Wesley So,
who started off badly with two
losses.
White: Alexander Grischuk
Black: Wesley So
FIDE Candidates, Berlin 2018
Ruy Lopez
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bb5 a6 4
Ba4 Nf6 5 0-0 Be7 6 d3 b5 7
Bb3 d6 8 c3 0-0
Two trends have developed
in modern high-class chess for
games commencing with the
venerable Ruy Lopez. One
trend is an early exchange of
White’s king’s bishop for
Black’s queen’s knight, as an
antidote to the equalising tendencies of the so-called Berlin
Wall defence based on an early
... Nf6 for Black. The other
pinnacle of fashion is for
White to play an early d2-d3,
rather than aiming for d2-d4
in one go, which sidesteps the
equally efficacious equalising
tendencies of the Marshall
Gambit, where Black offers a
pawn with a quick ... d7-d5.
9 h3 Bb7 10 Nbd2 Re8 11 Ng5
Rf8 12 Re1 d5
In any case, Black succeeds
in carrying out his desideratum
of the ... d5 advance. Whether
it is viable in these circumstances, which differ somewhat
from the normal Marshall
Gambit, is another matter.
Previous play had continued 12
... Na5 13 Bc2 c5 as in YudasinIvanchuk, Riga 1991.
13 exd5 Nxd5 14 Ndf3 Qd7 15
d4
White ruptures the centre.
The buccaneering 15 Nxe5
Nxe5 16 Rxe5 f6 17 Rxd5 Bxd5
18 Qg4 is parried by 18 ... f5.
15 ... exd4 16 cxd4 h6 17 Ne4
Rfe8
Incautiously weakening the
vulnerable f7-point. The immediate 17 ... Nf6 is safer.
18 Bd2 Nf6 19 Rc1 Nxe4 20
Rxe4 Bf6 21 Rg4 Kh8 22 Rc5
________
árD DrD i]
àDb0qDp0 ]
ßpDnD g 0]
ÞDp$ D D ]
Ý D ) DRD]
ÜDBD DNDP]
ÛP) G )PD]
ÚD DQD I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
22 ... Rad8
Twitter: @times_chess
White’s d4-pawn is taboo.
The two lines 22 ... Nxd4 23
Nxd4 Bxd4 24 Bc3 and 22 ...
Bxd4 23 Nxd4 Nxd4 24 Be3
both win for White.
23 Qc1
Now White is winning due
to the threat of 24 Bxh6. For
that reason, Black takes his life
in his hands.
23 ... Nxd4 24 Nxd4 Re4
If 24 ... Bxd4 25 Bxh6 wins
outright.
25 Rxc7 Qxd4 26 Be3 Rxg4
27 hxg4
27 Bxd4 is also sufficient.
27 ... Qe4 28 f3 Qb4
Grischuk has foreseen that
the black queen must abandon
its defence of the bishop on b7.
The rest is silence.
29 Rxb7 Bxb2 30 Qf1 f6 31 Qf2
Be5 32 f4 Bd6 33 g5 Qe4 34
Qf3 Qb1+ 35 Qf1 Qe4 36 Qf3
This repetition is doubtless
to gain time on the clock, not
because White was contemplating a draw.
36 ... Qb1+ 37 Kf2 Bb4 38 Qe2
Qe4 39 Qf3 Qb1 40 Kg3 fxg5 41
Kh2 Qf5 42 Rf7 Qg6 43 fxg5
Bd6+ 44 Kh3 Black resigns
Winning Move
White to play. This position is
from Svidler-Morozevich, Moscow 2018.
White is a piece ahead and
needs only to be careful to
avoid any accidents due to his
exposed king. How did he finish
off briskly?
________
á D ! DRD]
àD D DpDk]
ß D D Dp0]
ÞD D D D ]
Ý D DBD )]
ÜD D 1 )K]
Û D DPD D]
ÚD 4 D D ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
The first correct entry drawn
on Thursday will win a copy of
The Collins English Dictionary
and Thesaurus. The two runners-up will receive a book
prize. Answers on a postcard
to: The Times Winning Move,
PO Box 2164, Colchester, Essex
CO2 8LJ, or email to:
winningmove@thetimes.co.uk.
The answer will be published
next Saturday.
Solution to last week’s puzzle:
After 1 Qxg6! White remains a
piece ahead as 1 ... fxg6 is met
by 2 Bxe6.
The winner is Bryan Bennion of
Derby
554 saturday review
1G R
MindGames
The Times Crossword, Latin Crossword and Saturday Quiz are in the back of the main paper
Codeword No 3286
15
23
7
13
25
4
25
9
5
8
17
21
17
7
4
18
8
21
14
19
7
16
17
13
25
25
1
25
8
The Listener Crossword No 4494 Overseas Outing by Chalicea
3
24
26
24
22
21
25
23
23
25
16
25
9
13
Senders of the first three
correct entries drawn will
each receive a copy of The
Chambers Dictionary. Write
your name and contact
details in the space provided
and send to: Listener
Crossword No 4494,
63 Green Lane, St Albans,
Hertfordshire AL3 6HE, to
arrive by March 29.
5
25
25
9
4
21
21
7
13
17
25
5
T
6
25
14
25
25
15
23
25
5
9
26
25
26
13
13
20
21
8
13
24
25
5
21
8
24
13
17
9
25
9
4
8
8
10
18
17
25
14
17
7
12
25
18
25
21
9
14
8
24
17
13
7
12
2
8
15
13
11
24
24
9
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
9
10
11
12
13
22
23
24
25
26
T
H
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number from
1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears at least once. Use the letters already
provided to work out further letters. Enter letters in the main grid and the
smaller reference grid. Proper nouns are excluded. Yesterday’s solution on page 53
Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
times2 Crossword No 7602
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
Across
19 Wrong (5)
7 Repeated first letters (12)
21 Orange fruit (7)
9 Eg, Lufthansa (7)
22 Show to be genuine (12)
10 Leg joint (5)
Down
11 Succulent plant (4)
12 Evaluator, estimator (8)
1 Strikingly beautiful (8)
15 Hard to understand (8)
2 Courteous, polite (5)
3 Form of rugby (6)
17 Excitedly eager (4)
Solution to Crossword 7601
B
R
R
R
T
R
E
A
T
I
S
E
S P
A
SC
E
I
S
I G CO
N O
P I ER
T
P
P E
I N
O
S PONS
R
R I N T
S
I
HOONE
N T
I
T
RV E T
I
R
SHR I
O
T ERE
R
E S E
A H
SCAR
U N
R DH
Y Y
A
T E
O
MP
S T
K
E K
L
ED
T
OW
N
Solution to Listener
Crossword No 4491 on
page 52
24
4 Browned syrup (7)
5 Dairy product (4)
6 Closely question (11)
© PUZZLER MEDIA
24
listenercrossword.com
Name..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Address...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Postcode ............................................................................... Phone number .....................................................................................................................
One unclued entry describes six entries that are clued by wordplay only. In all clues, the
wordplay leads to the answer with an extra letter not entered in the grid; these letters spell out
three instructions that solvers must obey. The final grid contains only real words and has 40
empty cells, all of which must be similarly treated. The Chambers Dictionary (2016) is the
primary reference; one answer is an abbreviation.
Down
Across
1 Dreadful pests ... (4)
9 Within the civil power leading journalist
2 ... turning up in Taiwan, topless (4)
given position (8)
3 Anomalous token bond of union (4)
11 Tear off rejected baby bed decorative
4 Remove secluded retreat limits (8)
loop (5)
5 Day’s work coating European earthenware
12 Tackle active receding areas of shifting
drinking vessel (5)
sands (4)
7 Seedy bloomers Versace remodelled dividing
13 English fool making a comeback in due
guys (11)
course at Muirfield (3)
8 Large fish is red in the middle, a purplish
14 Sadly inter one baby from a multiple
shade (6)
birth (4)
9 Agreeable unwrapped item with a chilled
15 Paltry, thin, translucent material (4)
drink (6, two words)
16 Orderly ancient diet followed by husband
10 Letter dubiously altered, right away (5)
(6)
17 Further calls originally overlooked with just
18 Put back retrograde corroded hard shell (5)
one left (4)
20 Valets put beer into containers (6)
22 Lad sang grace endlessly about Last Supper 19 Adult confusion in tender dream (6)
20 Working horse and sheep (5)
chalice (8)
23 Healing preparation, vital juice in fragrant
24 Allowed to return chasing male pig where
ointment (6)
yachtsmen stay overnight (6)
25 Unfinished team game where ball’s hurled
27 No money for coffee? Then one tea (4)
from one side to the other (6)
29 Reversing vehicles ultimately crush old
26 Hispanic girl, maybe recently in America (6)
dog (4)
28 Servants’ room to answer cry calling for
31 Poland holds tapestry band that attaches
attention (6)
sail (6)
30 Outstanding services surprisingly cease (4)
32 Container for wine, vintage from French
33 Removing penny, clear blockage from oldvineyard etc ... (5)
style till (4)
35 ... besides what’s bottled by feeble losers (4)
34 Last but one of clues? Final bit for setter?
36 Study of ethics mishandled in old sect (8)
Yadda yadda yadda (4, two words)
38 In a high degree US police cell smelt
37 Soul cut in Motown (3)
awful (5)
39 Money covered by most of sub (4)
40 During carnival rang a handbell (7)
Mindset by 700
1. The following words (or pairs of words) are encrypted.
Their initial letters spell FLATBED. Identify the code.
YPAAUHX, JHLA, HTALSA, RPSLF PMHW,
8 Waterway link (6,5)
IMSJATHPW, AVNPAQQUHX, WSHJ GHPPDHBAUHX
2. What is the 62nd number in this sequence:
0, 1, 10, 2, 20, 21, 210, 3, 30, 31, 310, 32...
16 Sailors' song; shack (6)
18 Support; couple (5)
3. Divide into three appropriate sets of two:
IDAHO, INDIANA, MARYLAND, MICHIGAN, MINNESOTA,
NORTH DAKOTA
20 Very small amount (4)
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the answers.
Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
♠7
♥QJ93
♦ 10 8 7 4
♣9432
More information about
Chambers books can be
found at chambers.co.uk
13 Good judgement (8)
14 Thrive (7)
Bridge Andrew Robson
My favourite bridge book is
probably the Contract Bridge
Red Book on Play by Ely
Culbertson (1934). I found it in
the Abingdon School library
and read and re-read it avidly
as a teenager (often behind my
Latin primer, forgive me Mr
Randolph).
While Culbertson's Contract
Bridge Blue Book (on bidding)
has somewhat aged, the Red
Book is as ground-breaking
now as it was then — cardplay
is cardplay. I particularly like
Culbertson's
quixoticallynamed Coup without a Name.
It's now called the Scissors
Coup, because the key is to
snip the line of communication between the defenders.
Take this example.
Dealer East
Both Vul
H
22
Saturday March 17 2018 | the times
Answers on page 53
Literary Quiz
Josephine Balmer
Drafts
Name the literary works with
these draft or early version
titles:
1 Atticus
2 He Do the Police in Different
Voices
3 Tomorrow is Another Day
4 Stephen Hero
Answers on page 53
S
♠ A 10 4
♥75
♦AQJ53
♣Q65
N
W
S
E
♠K83
♥ A K 10 6 4
♦2
♣ K 10 8 7
♠QJ9652
♥82
♦K96
♣AJ
W
N
E
1♥
Pass
1♠
2♥(1) 3♥(2)
4♠
end
(1) Phooey to high-card points when
you have four-card support and a singleton.
(2) Unassuming cue bid, showing a
good spade raise.
East overtakes West's queen
of hearts opening lead and
promptly switches at trick two
to the two of diamonds, a clear
singleton. Plan the play.
Say you win the king of diamonds and lead the queen of
spades. When West plays low,
you (wisely) play East for the
king and rise with the ace and
lead a second spade. No good
though — East wins the king,
underleads his hearts to West
and receives a diamond ruff.
Down one.
The key is to cut the defensive communication in hearts
— so West never wins the lead
to give East the diamond ruff.
Win East's diamond switch in
dummy and lead a club to the
jack (you expect East to hold
the king for his opening bid).
The club finesse successful,
you cash the ace of clubs. You
next cross to the ace of spades
(perhaps leading the queen to
tempt an injudicious cover,
should West hold the king)
and lead the queen of clubs.
East covers with the king but
you do not ruff, rather discarding your second heart (key
play).
You have swapped a second
heart loser for a club loser and,
by doing so, have prevented
East from reaching his partner.
You can ruff his (say) low
heart and peacefully force out
his king of spades. You'll soon
be able to draw his last spade
and run diamond winners. Ten
tricks and game made.
The Scissors Coup cannot
be faulted for nomenclature
but it'll always be the Coup
without a Name to me.
Although my knowledge of
the Aeneid suffered as a result.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
the times | Saturday March 17 2018
saturday review 55
1G R
For more crosswords and your favourite
puzzles go to thetimes.co.uk
Jumbo crossword No 1313
Cryptic clues
1
Across
1 Excellent speller (6)
4 American army shot one on the
way down (10)
10 Loom one pulls (5)
14 I serve up starter of liver, awfully
disgusting (9)
15 Game up, am I surrounded by
mosquitoes, perhaps? (5,8)
16 Hunter saving a short time for
speech (7)
17 Simplest of collaborations turning
broadcast into book (7)
18 Female on stage, Christian
martyr (7)
19 Thick coin cut? (3,3,4,8)
21 Archer hurting back (4)
24 Principle the same on reflection?
(5)
26 Hollow carcase, one swallowed by
brown whale, say? (8)
27 Bitter about savage puzzle (8)
29 Use nice room, awfully formal (11)
30 Teaching shows a new way for
me, untainted (11)
32 Queen perhaps, film character
(7,4)
35 Horse at home remains behind
a tree (8,3)
37 Pilot passing through in
formation, heading off (8)
39 Most bubbly champagne
ultimately: good to serve outside
(8)
40 Stir all contents of the pot — now
what? (3-2)
43 Noble instrument on back of
coward (4)
44 Political options everywhere
(4,5,3,6)
47 Overcome nut in audition (7)
48 Left in French city, those standing
by the water? (7)
50 Flower, say, in wilting, bending
over (7)
51 There’s a man too distraught to
be legally separated (1,5,2,5)
52 Neglect to criticise communist
carrying revolutionary
newspaper (9)
53 South of Cameroon, an African
country (5)
54 Disciplinarian makes start on
demolition (10)
55 Influence a shade? (6)
Down
1 Figure currently holding
underwear up, feathery attire
(3,6)
2 Flies fly quickly over Frenchman
in lift (3,8)
3 State capital, where Tories
endlessly quaffing drink (7)
5 Chelsea, Millwall, the rougher
sort, all closing in on the ball (5)
6 Bullied boy OK as such, I have
no sympathy (3-3,5)
7 Erection of compound parts
strangely to appear rough (11)
8 Uninteresting markets, we hear,
supplying batteries (3,5)
9 Danes trained in advanced
driving skill (4,5)
10 Privy to information primarily
on lease (6)
11 Scale for traffic in Surrey town,
it’s said? (11)
12 Check binding solution, initially,
for sticky stuff (5)
13 Import warning: should I strike
shortly? (12)
20 Illuminated peak overlooking
a lake on the shoreline (8)
22 Lengthen sentence (7)
23 Very difficult angle, crossing one
terminus (8)
25 Tiny boy has reported young man
also in remote location (8)
28 Horn of Africa very posh, Zulu
with high value housing (8)
29 Composer in police state? (7)
31 Model situated in it for pose (12)
33 Meal on the farm, peanuts (7,4)
34 With empty bags, tidy chamber
(7,4)
35 Bad Italian football team, Udinese
originally admitted to failure (11)
36 A day before a party, drink (11)
38 My tree house is coming up,
seriously (2,7)
41 Great leader, Pope perhaps? (9)
42 Fictional island not evacuated,
one in geographical reference (8)
45 Italian author penning regular
parts of blog, true artist (2,5)
46 Numbers down, up in US city (6)
47 Drink thus knocked over in
pandemonium (5)
49 Plant small, inch (5)
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
19
20
18
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
32
30
33
34
37
38
31
35
36
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
51
53
50
52
54
55
Name......................................................................................................... Prizes
Address.....................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................
............................................................ Postcode.....................................
Phone number......................................................................................
The prize for each of the first
correct solutions to the
Cryptic and times2 Jumbo
clues to be opened will be a
collection of Times reference
books — including The Times
Universal Atlas of the World, Collins English
Dictionary & Thesaurus, and Bradford’s Crossword
Solver’s Dictionary published by HarperCollins.
Entries should be marked “Cryptic” or “times2”
and sent to: The Times Jumbo Crossword 1313,
PO Box 2164, Colchester, Essex CO2 8LJ, to arrive
by March 29. The winners and the solutions will be
published on March 31.
times2 clues
Train
Tracks
No 358
Lay tracks
to enable
the train to
travel from
village A to
village B.
The numbers
indicate
how many
sections of
rail go in
each row
and column.
There are
only straight
rails and
curved rails.
The track
cannot
cross itself.
Solution
on Monday
9
1
4
3
2
6
5
2
3
4
5
5
2
A
4
1
4
1
B
Across
1 Relating to the North Pole area (6)
4 Vehicle provided by one’s
employer (7,3)
10 Helicopter supporter (5)
14 Problem for bile ducts (9)
15 Not reimbursed (13)
16 With socialist leanings (7)
17 Important dietary component (7)
18 Relating to some Dutch islands (7)
19 Counterpart to 44 across (8,10)
21 Strongly recommend; impulse (4)
24 Not easily bent (5)
26 Plant extracts (8)
27 Container for wine or spirits (8)
29 Deep thought (11)
30 Like LPs (4-7)
32 Excessive love of bureaucratic
routine (11)
35 People who attack cherished
institutions (11)
37 Sailors’ dance (8)
39 Folded area of rock strata (8)
40 Cattle-catching rope (5)
43
44
47
48
50
51
52
53
54
55
Eg, elm or oak (4)
Counterpart to 19 across (8,10)
Hairy-leaved plant (7)
Wistfully mournful (7)
Further court hearing (7)
Impossible to substitute for (13)
Southern country (9)
Anaesthetic liquid (5)
South polar region (10)
Long-billed wader (6)
Down
1 Natives of a 2 Down city (9)
2 Of an American state (11)
3 County town of Suffolk (7)
5 Having scored an advantage (3,2)
6 With an error range of (4,2,5)
7 Stainless alloy (6,5)
8 American Indian language (8)
9 Impose again (2-7)
10 World’s largest country (6)
11 Type of Italian ice cream (5-6)
12 Noble gas (5)
13 Celebrated Calcutta nun (6,6)
20
22
23
25
28
29
31
33
34
35
36
38
41
42
45
46
47
49
Uncontrollable emotion (8)
Makes very angry (7)
(Of lines) meeting at infinity (8)
Document after final correction
(4,4)
Like one of the Roman walls in
the UK (8)
One who predicts the future (7)
Female ancestor (12)
Quick movement of troops (6,5)
Recall wrongly (11)
Lacking self-restraint (11)
Relative by marriage (6-2-3)
Temple entrances (9)
Jumped across (9)
Rising most sharply (8)
Small rat-kangaroo (7)
Seller of textile fabrics (6)
South American country (5)
Entertainment (Irish); a good
time (5)
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