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The Times Times 2 - 6 April 2018

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April 6 | 2018
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Who
Ann Treneman’s Olivier awards predictions
2
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
times2
Caitlin
Moran
Celebrity Watch
10
UP
Donald Trump
We begin this week’s
proceedings with some
proper Sliding Doors
stuff: the revelation
that Donald Trump
was offered the role
of playing the US
president in the
2015 film Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!,
but his attorney turned it down
because Trump was, unbeknown to
the Sharknado team, “eyeing up the
actual presidency at the time”.
Presumably his advisers thought
someone actually running for the
White House taking part in a scene
where he was hit on the side of the
head by a flying shark would stretch
credulity — little realising that in
real life Trump would go on to
threaten North Korea with nuclear
war on Twitter and get into a series
of spats with Meryl Streep.
However, this leaves us all to
conjecture — if he had taken the role
and it had stopped him from running,
the Sharknado franchise might have
changed history, and Hillary Clinton
would be president, all
because Trump would be
known as “the man so
singularly unqualified to
be leader of the free world
that the world’s most
ludicrous film franchise,
Sharknado, cast him as it”.
9
UP
Nicole
Scherzinger
One of the oddest
things about being
famous is that it’s very
hard for you to have a
grasp on how people
see you. The answer to
the profound question
that is, “What do I mean
to people?” is something
you have to work out
for yourself.
Pondering this, Nicole
Scherzinger — former
Pussycat Doll, now on/off
judge on The X Factor —
fretted in OK! magazine:
“People don’t know my
sense of humour. They
don’t know that I am
quite goofy and have
a silly side.”
As someone who has witnessed the
plot to the last 757,577,578,575 Müller
Light adverts — starring brandambassador Scherzinger — centre
entirely on the idea of her falling over
sideways every time she sees some
yoghurt, CW would like to say:
“Dude, don’t worry. This bit we get.
We’ve totally seen your goofy,
silly side. Also, your unique
manifestation of lactose intolerance.
You are known to us.”
8
UP
Indiana
a
Jones
Hot feminism news: the latest rumour
from Hollywood is that a new Indiana
Jones reboot will feature a woman as
the dashing archaeologist. Steven
Spielberg, a passionate supporter of
Time’s Up and equal representation,
seems to approve, with the director
saying: “We’d have to change the
name from Jones to Joan.”
CW doesn’t want to upset any
fragile dudes who don’t like the idea
of their hero being a heroine, but it
would like to point out that “Indiana
Jones” already sounds like a girl’s
name. In fact, given Indy’s fear of
snakes, love of accessories (the
hat) and penchant for lovely
antique knicky-knacky-noos,
CW would suggest that he
has always been a woman
in disguise, and that
Temple of Doom is an
extended euphemism/
metaphor about cystitis.
7
UP
Princess Leia
With the Star Wars
franchise rolling on
despite the unexpected
death of Carrie Fisher,
a question has been
cried out across the
nerdiverse: who will
play Princess Leia in
the subsequent movies?
As is the modern
way, everyone who
thinks they have the
answer to this has started
an online petition, and one entitled
“Cast Meryl Streep as Princess Leia
in Star Wars Episode IX!” has 10,000
votes — enough for the story to get
picked up by the BBC.
Intrigued by what other Star Wars
petitions might also become news
stories on the BBC, CW found a
treasure trove of crowd-sourced,
high-concept future-magic such as:
“Cast Stevie Nicks as Princess Leia”
(78 signatures); “Reinvent Kylo
Ren’s character by removing his
shirt for good!” (51 signatures);
“Make The Office-style show for
Star Wars VII” (8 signatures);
and “Bring back lightsaber cereal
spoons” (7 signatures).
4
UP
Stormzy
Stormzy is still riding the
controversy over a picture on
Instagram that “appeared to show
drug paraphernalia” inside his
apartment in Chelsea. He has
vehemently denied allegations
there were Class-A drugs in his
flat. Aside from wondering why
Stormzy
lives in Chelsea — it’s the
S
most boring part of London, except
for Knightsbridge, basically a
slalom course of oligarchs
with tiny dogs — CW
spent an hour pondering
just
j what the tiny plastic
bags of powder and
green leaves were.
Finally it worked out
that the bags contain
cinnamon, baking
powder and oregano.
Stormzy is simply in
secret rehearsals to
take part in the next
Celebrity MasterChef.
6
DOWN
Paris Hilton
Last week, while dancing in the
VIP section of a nightclub in Miami,
the heiress lost her $2 million
diamond engagement ring because
her finger was too thin — the ring
came off her finger, flew across the
room and landed in a massive
champagne ice bucket.
Unless there are any late entries,
CW feels pretty safe in awarding this
the “Least Relatable Incident of This
Week” award. Indeed, as if to illustrate
this, the Love Island star Olivia
Buckland then told her story about
losing her engagement ring: “We
went to a strip club and got really
drunk and I passed out at the hotel.
When I woke up [the ring] wasn’t on
my hand. I freaked out, but eventually
found it down the side of the bed.”
That story = 100 per cent relatable.
Paris Hilton’s = not so much.
3
UP
The Spice Girls
5
UP
Meghan Markle
CW has long wondered
why so many women
want to “be a princess”.
Every castle CW has
visited has terrible 4G,
you have to do the
worst kind of social
interaction with
thousands of people
every week and if you
put on even a quarter of
a stone you’re treated
as if you have brought
shame upon the nation
with your Spanx.
CW was pondering
all of this when it read
about Meghan Markle’s
“princess-training”.
“A great part of what
Meghan is being taught
is how to wave, how
and whom to address,
how to curtsy, what to
carry in her handbag
etc,” the etiquette
expert Liz Brewer told
Hello! “She would also
learn . . . where to sit,
when to stand, when to
leave, when to speak
and to never give a
personal opinion.”
How did the Disney
Princess franchise ever
manage to romanticise
such ball-ache? CW is
so glad its childhood
goal was to “be a
Muppet” instead.
The much-touted reunion rumbles on
with the suggestion that there could
be a “superhero-themed animated
movie”. Although CW is all for any
female-centred superhero concept, it
struggles to see how the unique Girl
Powers of the Spice Girls could drive
such a franchise. OK, Sporty’s got
high-kicking while shouting, “Zig-a-zig
ah!”, which is fairly useful, and it
guesses that Scary’s “scary-ness” could
be turned on and off, Hulk-style. After
that, some niche plotting seems
inevitable. Baby would presumably
gradually wear enemies down by
crying in a neighbouring bedroom
until 4am and Ginger could look, er,
clash-y in pink . . . It’s gonna be hard
to work this into an “end-of-secondact plot twist”.
The whole “Posh” thing could work,
though — so long as the movie was
set in the UK. Whenever in danger,
through a series of facial expressions
and glacial “I see”s, Posh could make
ambitious members of the working
classes feel uncomfortable, thus
crushing their spirits and forcing them
to remain in their social strata of
origin. Hi see ya, hold tight!
the times | Friday April 6 2018
3
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times2
2
DOWN
Chloe Green
A hashtag is a seductive thing. You
start off on social media thinking:
“I’m not going to use hashtags —
no sirree. They look attentionseeking and desperate. The
hashtag goes in the trashbag.”
Then you start clicking on
the analytic data of your
posts, and see how much
better they would do if
you lobbed in the odd #
or two, and before you
know it your shot of
your dog wearing a hat
is captioned “#dog
#dogsofinstagram #pup
#dogsinhats #blessed
#OHMYGODDOGS.”
And so to Chloe
Green, the daughter of
the disgraced billionaire
Philip Green, who has
been lighting up the
1
UP
Beyoncé and
Tiffany Haddish
CW isn’t going to lie — it’s been a
weird week. Jeremy Corbyn attended a
dinner held by the left-wing Jewish
activism group Jewdas where,
according to the Daily Mail, “they
raised a beetroot in the air and
shouted: ‘F*** capitalism!’ ” This
suggests that Jewdas’s root-cause
analysis of inequality might have
stalled, quite badly, on the “root” bit.
Meanwhile, Marnie Simpson from
Geordie Shore “accidentally” posted an
Instagram picture of her chihuahua
with her boyfriend’s genitals visible in
the background, thus condensing “the
entire contents of the internet” down
to a single, time-saving shot.
However, it says a great deal that
both of these stories paled into
insignificance compared with the
still-unfolding Greatest Mystery of
Our Time: who bit Beyoncé’s face?
In a consistently
entertaining interview
with GQ magazine the
Girls Trip star Tiffany
Haddish — who at one
point insisted that a cure
for almost every ailment
is to drink a spoonful of
turpentine (note:
drinking large
quantities of
turpentine will
only ever cure
you of one
thing, and that
is continuing
to be alive) —
claimed that
at a Jay-Z
after-show
party last year
she witnessed a
famous actress
“bite Beyoncé on
the face”.
“There was this
actress there that’s
just, like, doing the
scandal sheets with her relationship
with the model Jeremy Meeks, more
commonly known by his nickname,
“Hot Felon”. He is called this because
he was scouted as a model when he
was in jail. It’s all so modern.
This week it was Hot Felon’s 34th
birthday and, as any 21st-century
girlfriend should, Chloe swung into
action on her social media to wish
him well, even though he was
probably sitting next to her as
she typed it.
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my
everything, @jmeekofficial.
We have travelled the
world together, created
the most amazing
memories, laughed,
smiled and really just
enjoyed every second
of life. I LOVE YOU!
#mybirthdayboy
#myeverything
#partnerincrime.”
The thing is, when
your partner is actually
an ex-convict
“#partnerincrime” just
looks like . . . an inadvertent
confession?
mostest,” she explained. She described
how she had witnessed the biting, then
bumped into Beyoncé at the bar and
offered to “beat” the biter’s “ass”.
“Beyoncé was, like, ‘Tiffany, no.
Don’t do that. That bitch is on drugs.
She not even drunk. She not like that
all the time. Just chill.’ ”
For those who don’t quite grasp
what position Beyoncé holds in
modern public affection, this is as if at
last year’s Royal Variety Performance
one of the celebrities bit the Queen on
the face and the Queen later told
Haddish about it in the bar, but told
her not to beat up the celebrity
because “that bitch is on drugs”.
Actually, that’s still not quite to scale,
because this is Beyoncé.
And because this is Beyoncé,
Haddish’s story has sparked a
worldwide mystery — who is the
celebrity biter? The furore is so huge
that stars including Lena Dunham,
Kathy Griffin and Jennifer Lawrence
have had to issue formal denials, and
the #whobitbeyonce hashtag
has trended worldwide as
thousands of amateur sleuths
try to figure
it out.
Although
the model
Chrissy
C
Teigen,
who
T
e
says she knows the
identity of the biter, has
id
rruled out Gwyneth
Paltrow, CW still thinks
P
tthat Paltrow is the most likely
cculprit. Her ning-nang-nong
hippy beauty bollocks website,
h
Goop.com, has already
recommended getting your
face stung by bees and
steaming your vagina. It can
well imagine Paltrow going
totally pagan and believing
tthat the very best beauty
ttreatment might be just to
simply . . . eat Beyoncé. Plus,
it would also answer the
other big question: “What
drugs make you think you
can eat Beyoncé?” Answer:
none. The biter wasn’t high
at all. They were just
hungry. They have existed
on kale since 2005.
The hot list
What to do this weekend
Exhibition
Hope to Nope: Graphics and
Politics 2008-18
This glorious romp through
some of the defining events of
our recent past takes stock of
how design exerts a political
influence, via iconic items such
as the 2008 Barack Obama
campaign poster (the “Hope”
part), right, to a wall of magazine
covers featuring Donald Trump
(the “Nope” part). Design
Museum, London W8 (020 3862
5900), today, tomorrow and Sun
Film
A Quiet Place
You’ll need a lie-down after John
Krasinski’s film — part horror,
part family fable. One of the
scariest movies in years, with a
devastatingly simple premise,
truly horrible monsters and an
explosive finale. Krasinski stars
with Millicent Simmonds, left.
On general release. See review, p9
Theatre
The Inheritance
This two-part, seven-hour saga
from Matthew Lopez zeroes
in on the New York gay scene
one generation on from the
Aids crisis. It’s Forster’s Howards
End, updated and box-set
riveting. Stephen Daldry directs.
Young Vic, London SE1 (020 7922
2922), tonight and Sun
Comedy
Shazia Mirza: With Love from
St Tropez
Back from being marooned on
Bear Grylls’s Celebrity Island on
Channel 4, Mirza looks at truth,
lies and sandflies in her latest
stand-up show. Old Fire Station,
Oxford (01865 263990), tonight;
Carriageworks, Leeds (0113 224
3801), tomorrow
Pop
Harry Styles
The One Direction member
with the best solo material —
his 2017 debut recalls the
emotional pop of Bowie’s
Hunky Dory — Styles appeases
his vast fanbase with a quick
arena tour. Genting Arena,
Birmingham (0844 3388222),
tomorrow
Dance
Highland Fling
Scottish Ballet performs
Matthew Bourne’s entertaining
rewrite of La Sylphide, in which
the romantic tale is filtered
through the druggy sensibilities
of Trainspotting. Theatre Royal,
Glasgow (0844 8717647), tonight
and tomorrow
Opera
Ariadne auf Naxos
A comic dancing troupe intrude
into opera in Richard Strauss’s
delicious and moving work
about art, solitude and love.
Scottish Opera’s new
production is directed
by Antony McDonald.
Edinburgh Festival Theatre
(0131 529 6000), tomorrow
In Saturday Review tomorrow
Blonde ambition: Gemma Arterton
on playing Marilyn Monroe
Saturday April 7 2018
7-DAY
TV & RADIO
GUIDE
Au naturel
page 23
Fashion and nature
come together
at the V&A 8
How I became
the blonde
bombshell
Gemma Arterton
on playing
Marilyn
art books theatre film music
television what’s on puzzles
4
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
cover story
The Oliviers: will
they get it right
on the night?
As Theatreland prepares for its biggest awards, our
chief critic Ann Treneman scours the nominations
to tell us how she thinks the gongs will go this year
R
ed carpet alert! It’s the
Olivier awards on
Sunday and this year
the competition is
especially fierce. The
headlines have all been
about Hamilton,
because the Broadway
mega-hit that opened here with a redwhite-and-blue bang in late December
has garnered a record 13 nominations.
This means that, in many categories,
it’s a Hamilton versus Hamilton battle.
But the truth is that it was a bumper
year for theatre in the West End even
before Lin-Manuel Miranda’s musical
arrived. The Ferryman, by Jez
Butterworth, is still going in the West
End almost a year after its opening,
the longest-running new play in
yonks. When it comes to home-grown
musicals, there is the magical Girl
from the North Country, as well as the
delightful underdog Everybody’s
Talking About Jamie.
This, plus the fact that Hamilton isn’t
as sophisticated in terms of its set
and in some other technical
areas, means that it is unlikely
to dominate quite as much as
you think. I doubt it will win
as many awards as Harry
Potter and the Cursed Child
did last year, when it took
home nine trophies from
its eleven nominations.
Here, then, are my
predictions.
Best revival
Should win Who’s
Afraid of Virginia
Woolf?
Will win Angels in
America
I was much more than afraid (try
terrified) of Imelda Staunton in
this ferocious revival of Edward
Albee’s marital war. Andrew
Scott’s pause-filled Hamlet was
beloved by many (though not
me), but I suspect it is Tony
Kushner Aids saga, Angels
in America, which has just
had a triumphant transfer
to Broadway, that will win.
Shortlist Angels in America
(Lyttelton), Hamlet (Almeida),
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
(Harold Pinter Theatre), Witness
for the Prosecution (London
County Hall)
Best new comedy
Should win Dry Powder
Will win Labour of Love
Below: Audra
McDonald in Lady Day
at Emerson’s Bar &
Grill. Right: the chorus
of 42nd Street. Below
right: Laura Donnelly
and Paddy Considine
in The Ferryman
This list feels incomplete this year
without Consent at the Dorfman and
the like, and, frankly, I can’t figure out
how The Miser even got on it. But,
although I liked Labour of Love, a
timely examination of Labour Party
politics from our most prolific young
playwright, James Graham, it did not
feel as fresh or as feisty as Dry Powder,
a hilarious and whip-smart take on
office politics in a ruthless venture
capital world.
Shortlist Dry Powder (Hampstead
Theatre), Labour of Love (Noël
Coward), Mischief Movie Night (Arts
Theatre), The Miser (Garrick)
Best musical revival
Should win 42nd Street
Will win Follies
The glittertastic Follies was
wildly traditional by the
standards of our National
Theatre, but for me 42nd Street
wins hands down in the oldfashioned glamour stakes. The tapdancing ensemble of 40 glammed-up
showgirls kicking up an
absolute storm was
thrilling to see
(and hear): this
was the show that
just kept giving.
Shortlist 42nd Street
(Theatre Royal Drury
Lane), Follies (Olivier), On
the Town (Regent’s Park
Open Air Theatre)
Best actor in a musical
Should win John McCrea
Will win Jamael Westman
There is something rather
delicious about the fact that
Ciaran Hinds has been
nominated even though he
doesn’t sing a word in Girl
from the North Country.
Jamael Westman, the
25-year-old plucked
from obscurity to
front Hamilton,
will win this
category, although
the greater
achievement and
more nuanced performance
comes from John McCrea as
the 16-year-old Jamie, who
wants to wear a dress to his
school prom in Sheffield.
Shortlist Ciaran Hinds for
Girl from the North Country
(Old Vic, Noël Coward),
John McCrea for
Everybody’s Talking About
Jamie (Apollo), Giles Terera for
Hamilton (Victoria Palace) and
Jamael Westman for Hamilton
Best actress in a musical
Should win Shirley Henderson
Will win Imelda Staunton
You simply cannot take your eyes off
the small figure of Shirley Henderson,
who manages to be magnetic, sexy,
rude and touching, all rolled into one,
as the landlady suffering with
dementia in Girl from the North
Country. But I suspect the Imelda
Staunton fan club will be out in force
for what was an excellent performance
as Sally in Sondheim’s Follies.
Shortlist Janie Dee for Follies
(Olivier), Shirley Henderson for Girl
from the North Country (Old Vic, Noël
Coward), Imelda Staunton for Follies,
Josie Walker for Everybody’s Talking
About Jamie (Apollo)
Best actor in a supporting role
Should win Bertie Carvel
Will win Bertie Carvel
Bertie Carvel fascinates as Rupert
Murdoch — complex, watchful,
hungry — in James Graham’s play
about The Sun. It’s a performance that
can’t be beaten, yet John Hodgkinson
may be in the frame for his touching
performance as next-door neighbour
Tom Kettle in The Ferryman.
Shortlist Bertie Carvel for Ink
(Almeida, Duke of York’s), John
Hodgkinson for The Ferryman
(Royal Court, Gielgud), James
McArdle for Angels In America
(Lyttelton), Peter Polycarpou for
Oslo (Harold Pinter Theatre).
the times | Friday April 6 2018
5
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COVER: MATTHEW MURPHY; JOHAN PERSON; THE OTHER RICHARD. BELOW: BRINKHOFF/MOEGENBURG; MARC-BRENNER
cover story
Best actress in a supporting role
Should win Dearbhla Molloy
Will win Denise Gough
You can almost see the hate
vibrating from Dearbhla Molloy
as she plays The Ferryman’s Aunt
Pat: fiercely, not to say fanatically,
Republican; a character who feels
like flesh and blood from the start.
But I would be surprised if the
winner isn’t the talented Denise
Gough for her mercurial portrayal
of the agoraphobic Mormon housewife
in Angels.
Shortlist Bríd Brennan for The
Ferryman (Royal Court, Gielgud),
Denise Gough for Angels in America
(Lyttelton), Dearbhla Molloy for The
Ferryman, Imogen Poots for Who’s
Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (Harold
Pinter Theatre)
Best actress
Should win Audra McDonald
Will win Lesley Manville
Audra McDonald put shivers down
my spine as Billie Holiday in Lanie
Robertson’s recreation of one of her
last appearances at a dive bar in
Philadelphia in 1959. It was
astonishing and spell-binding, but
Lesley Manville is probably the
one to beat here — although you
can never tell when Imelda Staunton
is in the mix.
Shortlist Laura Donnelly for The
Ferryman (Royal Court, Gielgud),
Lesley Manville for Long Day’s Journey
into Night (Wyndham’s), Audra
McDonald for Lady Day at Emerson’s
Bar & Grill (Wyndham’s), Imelda
Staunton for Who’s Afraid of Virginia
Woolf? (Harold Pinter Theatre)
Best actor
Should win Paddy Considine
Will win Bryan Cranston
Paddy Considine was astonishingly
good in his stage debut as Quinn
Carney, the man with a past who just
wants to enjoy the harvest in Jez
Butterworth’s family saga. Andrew
Scott will also have his supporters, but
I suspect it will be Bryan Cranston
who will win, for his breast-beating
portrayal of a man who is mad as hell
and isn’t going to take it any more in
Network.
Shortlist Paddy Considine for The
Ferryman (Royal Court, Gielgud),
Bryan Cranston for Network
(Lyttelton), Andrew Garfield for
Angels in America (Lyttelton), Andrew
Scott for Hamlet (Almeida, Harold
Pinter Theatre).
Lydia Leonard
and Toby
Stephens
in Oslo
Best director
Should win Sam Mendes
Will win Sam Mendes
Any one of these directors could win
because they have all created brilliant
theatre. Of course you’d expect
Thomas Kail to take it home for his
hip-hop Hamilton extravaganza, but I
can’t help but think that the star that
is Sam Mendes, the force behind the
staying power of The Ferryman, will
end up with the trophy.
Shortlist Dominic Cooke for Follies
(Olivier), Marianne Elliott for Angels
in America (Lyttelton), Rupert Goold
for Ink (Almeida, Duke of York’s),
Thomas Kail for Hamilton (Victoria
Palace), Sam Mendes
for The Ferryman
(Royal Court,
Gielgud)
Best new play
Should win The Ferryman
Will win The Ferryman
It’s a great shortlist, but there is no
real competition: it really does have
to be Jez Butterworth’s riveting big
patchwork of a play about life on a
farm in Northern Ireland at the height
of the Troubles. The rest may be great,
but The Ferryman is truly exceptional.
Shortlist: The Ferryman (Royal Court,
Gielgud), Ink (Almeida, Duke of
York’s), Network (Lyttelton), Oslo
(Harold Pinter Theatre).
Best new musical
Should win Girl from the North
Country
Will win Hamilton
I’m not sure how Young Frankenstein
monstered its way on to this shortlist,
but the rest deserve to be here. It is
thrilling for Everybody’s Talking About
Jamie to be considered (it’s a long way
from Sheffield), but the competition is
very strong here. My heart says that
Conor McPherson’s magical Bob
Dylan musical, Girl from the North
Country, should win, but my head
knows that it has to be Hamilton.
Shortlist An American in Paris
(Dominion), Everybody’s
Talking About Jamie (Apollo),
Girl from the North Country
(Old Vic), Hamilton
(Victoria Palace), Young
Frankenstein (Garrick)
For all things theatre, sign up
for Ann Treneman’s weekly
newsletter Curtain Call at
thetimes.co.uk/bulletins
Where
to watch
The 42nd Laurence
Olivier awards, hosted
by Catherine Tate,
are at the Royal
Albert Hall on Sunday.
Coverage begins at
4pm. Highlights from
the red carpet will be
shown on Facebook, via
the Olivier site, until
5.30pm. The ceremony
runs from 6pm to
9pm and backstage
interviews with the
winners as soon as
they receive their
awards will be live
on Facebook. At
10.20pm highlights
from the show will be
shown on ITV. That
should include live
performances from
42nd Street, Everybody’s
Talking About Jamie,
Follies, Girl from the
North Country,
Hamilton and Young
Frankenstein. If you
live outside the UK,
you can watch the
whole ceremony live
on Facebook.
6
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
architecture
I offered to debate with Prince
Architect Richard Rogers has battled
umbrellas and the ‘primitive viewpoint’
of the Prince of Wales. He looks back
on his legacy with Jonathan Morrison
B
aron Rogers of Riverside
learnt early in his career
that no building can
please everyone, all of
the time. When the
Pompidou Centre in
Paris was unveiled in
1977, he allowed himself
a moment to savour the project that
would make his name. And as he stood
outside, on a rainy day, he recalls he
was approached by “a nice lady”
out of the grey.
“She asked me what I thought of it
and I stupidly said that I had built it,”
he says. “So she hit me over the head
with her umbrella. I sympathised —
she had been used to the area looking
a certain way all her life and what was
I, a foreigner, doing by destroying it?”
The Pompidou, designed with Renzo
Piano, the Genoese architect who
created the Shard and who still stays at
Rogers’s capacious Chelsea home when
in London, proved an immediate
success, attracting more visitors than
the Louvre and Eiffel Tower combined.
Yet it had been a battle to get it built.
There were numerous attempts to
derail the scheme, which almost
single-handedly ushered in a new style
known as “high-tech”, though at the
time some labelled it “bowellism” on
account of the bowels — pipes, vents
and escalators — being placed on the
outside. There were hostile articles, a
campaign group was set up solely to
bring lawsuits, and the widow of the
abstract painter Robert Delaunay said
she would rather burn his paintings
than have them exhibited inside the
building. Despite having won an
international design competition, at
one point the pair even had to go to
court to overturn a Vichy-era law that
prevented foreigners creating cultural
buildings in France. “Renzo and I had
to stand up and promise to be good
boys,” Rogers recalls.
While he had proved that he was
hardly afraid of controversy, his next
big commission — Lloyd’s of London
— triggered a similar reaction, and
after a “ferocious press attack” almost
no one was invited to the opening. He
was close to giving up.
“Luckily I met the Dean of St Paul’s
there,” says Rogers, clad in an eyewatering combination of collarless
turquoise shirt and purple braces. “He
asked me if I was feeling beleaguered.
Yes, I sure was. And then he told me
the story of how Sir Christopher
Wren, in his seventies, had to erect
an 18ft-high wattle fence around St
Paul’s to hide what he was building
from the public.”
It is a parable that has stayed with
him, and one that gets an airing
whenever his occasional spats with
the Prince of Wales are mentioned. If
Wren was considered too modern for
his time, who is the prince to insist
that architects should only build in a
classical style? “It’s a pretty primitive
viewpoint,” Rogers says firmly. “But
Charles is powerful and I’ve had
many a building stopped by [his
influence]. If it’s not his field, he
shouldn’t be making statements about
it — it does undermine the role of
royalty in the 21st century.”
Rogers, the winner of the 2007
Pritzker prize and two Stirling prizes,
points to his scheme for the site of the
former Chelsea Barracks in London,
which was scrapped by the Qatari
developer in 2009 after the prince
approached the emirate’s ruling family
— resulting in the loss of several jobs
and, as Rebel Prince, the recent
biography of Charles by Tom Bower,
recounts, nearly landing Charles in
court for inducing a breach of contract.
Rogers believes the prince also
intervened in Mies van der Rohe’s
proposal for a skyscraper at the No 1
Poultry site in the City of London, as
well as, famously, a daring extension to
the National Gallery, neither of which
went ahead. In a speech at Hampton
Court, to mark the 150th anniversary
of the Royal Institution of British
Architects in 1984, the Prince
described Peter Ahrend’s design as
“a monstrous carbuncle on the face
of a much-loved friend”, effectively
sealing its demise.
The row between the two has been
simmering ever since and, in his recent
biography/manifesto, A Place for All
People, Rogers accuses the prince of
blacklisting those he disagrees with.
He had asked “major developers”
about the role of the prince. “Only one
of them said he actually showed the
prince the designs, but five others said
they consulted Clarence House about
a shortlist of architects,” he wrote.
“As a developer your job is to
minimise risk,” he explains. “So I
Above, from top:
Barajas Airport
Terminal 4 in Madrid;
Maggie’s Centre in
London. Left: the
Leadenhall Building
in London
understand why they do it. Of the ten
top developers, the majority will
consult with the prince, or his
institutions, in case they object. Well
that’s not very democratic, is it?
“I’ve offered to debate with him,
only to be told, ‘The prince will not
debate.’ He doesn’t understand
architecture if he thinks it is fixed at
one point in the past. Architecture
always seems modern in its time, if it’s
any good. Wren proved that.”
Rogers’s rolling laugh reverberates
around his office on top of the
Leadenhall Building, the right-angled
triangle that is his latest contribution
to the capital’s skyline. Across from
Lloyd’s, it makes the insurance market,
with its soaring crystal atrium, look
small. The gap between the two may
be no more than a few metres, but it
spans nearly 40 years of architectural
history. What seems incredible is that
the high-tech style Rogers ushered in
— with help from compatriots
Norman Foster, designer of the nearby
“Gherkin”, and Nicholas Grimshaw,
the man behind the Eden Project in
Cornwall — has never really gone
away. It is now the vernacular of
capitalism and culture alike.
Richard Rogers was born in
Florence in 1933 into an Anglo-Italian
family, but the family were forced to
return to England in 1938 and Rogers
endured a difficult public-school
education, leaving in 1951 without
A levels as a result of severe dyslexia.
After National Service in Trieste (he
speaks fluent Italian), architecture
proved his salvation and he studied
under Peter Smithson, one of the
designers of Robin Hood Gardens, a
recently demolished housing estate in
London. He then travelled to Yale on a
Fulbright scholarship with his first
wife, Su Brumwell, the mother of three
of his five sons (one of whom died
after a seizure in 2011, but four survive,
along with 13 grandchildren), where he
met Foster. The three of them, with
Wendy Cheeseman, later created the
Team 4 practice.
His campaign to save Robin Hood
Gardens, an example of the brutalist
style he helped bury — despite the
the times | Friday April 6 2018
7
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architecture
Charles, but he won’t do it
STEVE DOUBLE/CAMERA PRESS; ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES
Rogers’s top 5 designs
Pompidou Centre,
Paris (completed 1977,
with Renzo Piano)
Selected out of
681 entries to an
international design
competition — the first
to be run in France
— this iconoclastic
design, above, turned
conventional notions of
design upside down as
well as inside out. With
nearly 180 million
visitors since its opening,
it has certainly endured
in popularity.
Lloyd’s of London
(1986)
The unwitting symbol of
the City’s Big Bang and
the arrival of Americanstyle free-market
economics, the Lloyd’s
building was listed as
grade I in 2011,
becoming the youngest
structure to achieve
personal connection — is merely one
of many contradictions. He is a
multimillionaire who believes in
higher taxation, a peer of the realm
who believes the House of Lords is an
anachronism, a former adviser to Ken
Livingstone who builds temples to
Mammon (he has met Jeremy Corbyn
only once). Even the subsidised works
canteen that his second wife, Ruth
Rogers, set up somehow became the
eye-wateringly expensive River Café.
“Life is always changing,” he says.
“We adapt. But fairness is the critical
thing. If you live in the gutter and can’t
get proper housing, if you have
learning difficulties, which I have, and
can’t get help, then it’s not fair.”
It’s not every architect who will risk
the wrath of Prince Charles, at least so
publicly, but Rogers has always been
political and was raised “as a good
lefty”. He has also always been a
fighter — a characteristic, refined
by learning to box, that he credits with
his survival at school. He has clearly
lost none of his pugnaciousness,
although he claims that wife, “Ruthie”,
is far more of an activist; she has
returned to her native America that
day to march against the Second
Amendment: the right to carry arms.
“I chose the right parents,” he says.
“I was born to a doctor, Nino, and a
mother, Dada, who was a potter; I was
born in Florence, not Sudan. There’s a
lot of luck in this game and you do the
best you can with the luck you’ve been
given. But when 40 per cent of the
world’s population don’t have a proper
roof over their heads and when the
eight richest Americans have as much
money as the poorest half of the
world, there’s something wrong.
Taxation has to be fair.”
Has he mentioned this to his former
business partner, Baron Foster of
Thames Bank, who has since moved to
Switzerland for more than just the
cheese? “I’ve had this conversation
with him. We need to stop allowing
people to leave for small islands too.”
Yet beyond taxation, what he cares
about most is housing. He remains
president of the National
Communities Resource Centre, which
Above, from top: the
Millennium Dome in
London; the Lloyd’s
building in London.
Centre: Richard Rogers
You don’t
hear of
rich people
dying in
fires. It’s
the poor
who suffer
this status. A raw
masterpiece, with one
of the most astonishing
atriums in the world, it
seems as fresh today as
it did in the era of red
braces, braying Sloanes
and brick-like mobiles.
The Millennium Dome,
London (1999)
As controversial as the
Garden Bridge at the
time, the Dome came
in on time and under
budget — which can’t
be said of the rubbish
it was filled with. It has
since enjoyed an
illustrious second life as
a popular concert and
events venue.
Barajas Airport
Terminal 4, Madrid
(2006)
Rogers deservedly won
the Stirling prize for his
wood-panelled and
supports residents in low-income
areas, and his voice becomes a shout
when the Grenfell Tower disaster is
mentioned. “Skyscrapers per se are
not bad,” he exclaims. “Of course
we can make them fireproof — you
don’t hear of rich people dying in
fires. It’s the poor who suffer; surprise,
surprise. And because they were poor,
no one listened to them grumbling
about safety.
“The housing crisis is just appalling.
We should be ashamed of the rate of
building, but developers have been put
in control and they have shareholders,
and the fewer houses they build, the
more money they make.”
Isn’t his only brother, Peter, a
developer? A founder member of
Lipton Rogers, the firm that
commissioned one of his few turkeys
— the One Hyde Park complex,
beloved of oligarchs?
“He’s an engineer, not developer,”
he says, a little disingenuously. “We’re
quite close, and I don’t think they’re
all baddies — you need developers
and he’s one of the best. But they
brightly lit temple to air
travel, which almost
makes flying Iberia a
pleasant experience.
Heathrow’s enormous
Terminal 5 building,
which opened a mere
two years later, would
confirm Rogers’s
mastery of complex
transport interchanges.
Maggie’s Centre,
London (2008)
Rogers scooped his
second Stirling for this
warm refuge for cancer
patients at Charing
Cross Hospital, which
is based on the concept
of a heart protected
by thick walls. Hardly
the grandest of his
projects, but arguably
the most important and,
typically, the £20,000
prize money was
donated to the centre.
Jonathan Morrison
shouldn’t have so much control, and
that’s something that needs to be
addressed by the government.
“Architecture is social, not cultural
— its first duty is to serve society. I
feel strongly we should all swear, as
the Greeks did, to leave our cities
more beautiful than when we entered.
Not just in terms of aesthetics, but the
quality of life.”
As his book reveals, once upon a
time, working abominable hours on
Creek Vean, a house in Cornwall, he
had wondered whether he was cut out
to be an architect. He has suffered
more brickbats than most. Yet at the
age of 84, he still travels to the office
every day. His PA grumbles goodnaturedly about his energy. So has he
made his peace with the profession at
last? “I just like to build,” he says. “I’ve
realised that’s really all I can do. And
at least no one’s likely to attack me
with an umbrella these days.”
A Place for All People: Life,
Architecture and the Fair Society by
Richard Rogers is published by
Canongate, £30
8
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
Richard Morrison the arts column
It’s a wrap — why I can’t wait for Christo to arrive in London
D
AFP/GETTY IMAGES
on’t get me wrong, but
are you going to The
Mastaba this summer?
It will be hard to miss if
you are in Hyde Park in
London because The Mastaba is, or
will be, a giant floating . . . er, thing in
the middle of the Serpentine.
Made from 7,506 gaudily painted
barrels, rising 65ft and as long as four
London buses placed end to end, it will
also be the first big public outdoor
work created in Britain by the
gloriously bonkers Bulgarian artist
Christo. That we’ve missed out for so
long on his handiwork is a small
tragedy for anyone who loves art and
provocation done on a huge scale.
Why is Facebook
influencing our
cultural policy?
Christo’s vast
projects are
self-financed and
free to the public
Along with his (sadly deceased) wife
Jeanne-Claude, Christo came to fame
by wrapping giant objects in fabric.
The objects included the Reichstag in
Berlin (after 24 years of negotiation
with the German government — can’t
imagine why), the Pont-Neuf in Paris,
part of Central Park in New York and
an entire coastline in Australia.
Christo and Jeanne-Claude always
claimed that these surreal wrappings
had no deeper meaning beyond their
spectacular impact, but of course that
is itself a wrapping of the truth. When
a hugely familiar landmark disappears
it’s like the death of a larger-than-life
person. You are acutely aware of the
void left behind.
This revelation-by-concealment
technique is one thing I love about
Christo. The other is that his vast
projects are self-financed and free to
the public. He never costs taxpayers a
penny. So whether you like The
Mastaba or abhor it, you won’t be able
to utter the time-honoured words
“what an effing waste of public
money” as you gaze across the
Serpentine this summer.
Nor will it be ecologically damaging.
All the materials are to be recycled
and we are reassured that wildlife will
love The Mastaba as much as the
tourists. Incidentally, the word mastaba
meant tomb or, more literally, “house
for eternity” in ancient Egypt. That
this house for eternity will exist for
just 14 weeks (June 18 to September 23,
coinciding with a Christo exhibition at
the Serpentine Galleries) is just
another paradox notched up by
the king of paradox. He’s 82; let’s
enjoy him while we can.
TATE BRITAIN
28 FEB – 27 AU G 2018
THE GUARDIAN
C U LT U R E W H I S P E R
THE TELEGRAPH
THE INDEPENDENT
P I M L I CO u
F R E E F O R TAT E M E M B E R S
Supported by the All Too Human
Exhibition Supporters Circle,
Tate International Council,
Tate Patrons and Tate Members
Media partner
Lucian Freud Leigh Bowery 1991 Tate ©
The Lucian Freud Archive / Bridgeman Images
Bulgarian artist Christo
with The Mastaba at
the Maeght Foundation
I am baffled by the £150 million
“creative industries sector deal”
announced by the culture secretary,
Matt “feel my app” Hancock. Britain’s
creative industries, he declared,
“contribute over £90 billion to the UK
economy every year”. Well, if they are
such a success story, why do they need
taxpayers’ money? And into whose
bank accounts is the money going? I
have spent two hours perusing the
glossy 72 pages of propaganda hyping
the deal and I’m none the wiser.
The whole thing has been cooked up
by an oligarchy called the Creative
Industries Council, co-chaired by two
ministers (Hancock and Greg Clark,
the business secretary) and, bizarrely,
Nicola Mendelsohn — vice-president
of that caring, sharing organisation
Facebook. Also on the council is a top
exec from Google. The global profits
of those two organisations totalled
more than £30 billion last year, despite
which they contrived to pay less than
£60 million in UK taxes. I don’t wish
to dampen the boyish enthusiasm of
Hancock and Clark for hobnobbing
with internet moguls, but why are
Google and Facebook involved in
shaping our government’s cultural
policy? Doesn’t Hancock find that
compromising, not to say humiliating?
That’s my first problem with his
“deal”. The second is where he says the
money is going. For instance, a
£33 million government “investment”
will go into “virtual and augmented
reality”. Well, you could say the whole
deal reeks of virtual and augmented
reality, but in this case I think the
phrase refers to video games — a
sector, Hancock says, where
“exceptional growth is forecast”. If
ALL TOO
HUMAN
BACON,FREUD
AND A CENTURY
OF PAINTING LIFE
that’s the case, though, why aren’t
private financiers queueing to invest?
Hancock also trumpets investment
in “flagship film studios expansion”.
Yes, of course there is — with the boss
of Warner Bros sitting on Hancock’s
council — but again, why is a British
minister allowing Hollywood to shape
the agenda for our film industry?
The brochure does at least list the
creative sectors suffering from a
chronic dearth of trained British
talent. They include our top dance
companies (classical and modern) and
orchestras. Nowhere, however, is there
discussion of the basic reason for these
shortages: the whittling down of art,
design, music and dance teaching in
schools, worsened by the downgrading
of those subjects in the EBacc and by
the Russell Group of universities.
Hancock’s solution? He is rolling out
a “creative careers programme” to
enthuse pupils in 2,000 schools about
working in the cultural sector. I don’t
know whether to laugh or cry.
School-leavers who have been given
no opportunities to develop skills as
musicians, dancers, artists, designers
or craft workers are suddenly going to
find work in the cultural sector? How?
Has Hancock noticed the terrible
drop in the numbers taking A levels or
even GCSEs in arts subjects? Has he
tried to find a non-selective
comprehensive in, say, north London
that even teaches music to A level? I
have. It’s dispiriting if not hopeless.
I daresay that none of this will
worry an ambitious politician who is
probably already eyeing up his next
perch on the greasy pole. Over the
past ten years culture secretaries have
averaged 13 months in the job, so
Hancock’s half-hour will soon be up.
What will remain after he has gone,
though, is this seemingly ineradicable
stain of hypocrisy across all British
political parties — one that glories in
the global stature of the UK’s creative
industries while eradicating creativity
from state schools. That makes no
sense. Never has and never will.
the times | Friday April 6 2018
9
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THE
CRITICS
Larushka Ivan-Zadeh
finds Death Wish deadly p11
Will Hodgkinson
can’t bring himself to care for Kylie p12
Rachel Campbell-Johnston
on the enduring allure of the Titanic p13
Whisper it: this is horrifying
The family exchanges, often shot
in close-up, have an intensity and
tenderness that are only increased
by their silence. The Abbotts’ deaf
teenage daughter, Regan, is played
by the utterly watchable Millicent
Simmonds, who is deaf in real life
and, whether by accident or design,
appears in another new film this
week, Wonderstruck (see review,
page 8). Obviously at home in the
signing scenes here, Simmonds
shines especially in her silent
arguments with her father, in which,
denied the usual teenage fallbacks
— foot-stamping, door-slamming,
screaming, “I hate you!” — she
deploys an array of weaponised
frowns and flounces.
Under all of this is a primal impulse.
As Evelyn says to Lee: “Who are we if
we can’t protect them?” Blunt has
described the film as “a metaphor
the big film
Blind aliens are
coming for anyone
who makes a noise
in this masterful
thriller. Ed Potton
cowers in fear
Y
ou’ll need a lie-down
after this one. It’s the
scariest film I’ve seen
in years, with a
devastatingly simple
premise, truly horrible
monsters, genuine
emotional oomph and
a climax that adds jeopardy to
jeopardy like weights on a barbell, to
the point that you’re not sure if your
heart can take any more.
A big reason why John Krasinski’s
film — part horror, part family fable
— hits so hard is that, as the title
suggests, it’s really, really quiet. It
imagines a near future where much of
humanity has been wiped out by
murderous beasts (think a cubist’s
nightmare of the xenomorph in Alien).
They’re blind, but they have
supernatural hearing, which means
that the credo for survivors is, as one
old newspaper headline puts it: “Stay
silent, stay alive.”
So Lee and Evelyn Abbott
(Krasinski and Emily Blunt, also his
offscreen wife) and their children have
to live a life of monastic silence: they
creep around their (otherwise idyllic)
Midwest farm barefoot, eat without
cutlery, play Monopoly with knitted
pieces and communicate for the
majority of the film via sign language.
As a conceit it’s brilliant, right up there
with “don’t fall asleep” (Nightmare on
Elm Street) and “keep the lights on”
(Lights Out). Horror movies often
generate scares via loud spikes on the
musical score. When a film is this
classic
film
of the
week
Emily Blunt is excellent as a mother who must give birth silently for fear of attracting the killer aliens
A Quiet Place
15, 90min
{{{{{
American
Psycho (2000)
18, 99min
{{{{(
quiet, the build-ups are more
excruciating and those jumps are
magnified to popcorn-spilling levels.
The astonishing thing is that this
instant masterpiece of terror was
directed by the man who is still best
known as Jim from the American
version of The Office. It’s only
Krasinski’s third feature as a director
and nothing he has done before
suggested that he could build and
sustain tension as expertly as he does
here. Blunt said recently that
Krasinski was “bloody up there” with
the best directors she has worked with,
who include Denis Villeneuve and
Doug Liman, and that’s not just
marital loyalty talking. His acting isn’t
far behind, full of rugged humanity,
sharpened by fear. A dystopian
scream-fest like this isn’t quite as big a
leap for Blunt, who has broadened her
T
his adaptation of Bret Easton
Ellis’s novel about a serialkilling New York banker is
almost 20 years old and has
aged rather well. That’s
partly because the wolves of Wall
Street are even riper for satire since
2008, but it could also be because
skewering the male psyche chimes
rather well with the Me Too era.
Directed by a woman, Mary Harron,
and adapted by her and Guinevere
repertoire of late with dark dramas
such as Sicario and The Girl on the
Train, but she’s just as impressive:
wide-eyed yet resilient. Next up for
her is Mary Poppins, which should
present a slightly less fraught take on
childcare than this movie does.
Because here, the innocuous
becomes deadly — rusty hinges,
squeaky floorboards (the family have
marked the safe ones with paint), a
child’s spaceship with a loud sound
effect (monsters — come hither!).
Then the pregnant Evelyn must
contend with the ultimate silent
ordeal: labour. With no drugs. During
which she steps on a large nail. That’s
without even considering the question
of how to keep a newborn quiet. See
what I mean about compounding the
jeopardy? It’s a triumph of stoic
suffering from Blunt.
Turner, the film homes
in on masculine
vanity, libido, greed
and insecurity
incarnated in the
form of Christian
Bale’s loathsome
Patrick Bateman.
This was the film that
established Bale, right,
a former child star, as an
adult actor to be reckoned
When a film
is this quiet
the jumps are
magnified
for sending your children out into a
brutal world and feeling you can’t
protect them” and there’s a poignant
moment when Lee is trying persuade
his son, Marcus (Noah Jupe, also
excellent), to go with him on a
foraging expedition. “There’s nothing
to be scared of,” Lee signs. “Of course
there is,” replies Marcus, reasonably.
That’s counterpointed by a lovely
sequence when, their voices shielded
by the din of a waterfall, father and
son are briefly able to talk normally.
Interludes like that are rare,
though. A Quiet Place is mainly
about intelligent, ruthlessly executed
terror — and shattering drama,
because Krasinski isn’t afraid to kill
off main characters. By the end
there will likely be tears to go with
the pints of adrenaline. Then try to
have that lie-down.
with, whether he’s
obsessing over the
font on his business
cards, deconstructing
the work of Phil
Collins or hacking
a colleague to
death with an axe.
Ed Potton
Streaming on Netflix
and Amazon; also on
DVD and Blu-ray
10
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
film reviews
Love, Simon
12A, 110min
{{(((
Fairytale
of New
York
Ed Potton is
enchanted by Todd
Haynes’s nostalgic
interwoven stories
of runaway kids
Wonderstruck
PG, 117min
{{{{(
Ghost Stories
15, 98min
{{{{(
Updating the portmanteau horrors of
the Seventies with postmodern sleight
of hand, Ghost Stories was directed
and adapted by Jeremy Dyson (the
non-acting member of The League of
Gentlemen) and Andy Nyman (best
known for his collaborations with the
celebrity mentalist Derren Brown)
from their Olivier-nominated play
of the same name.
The three interlocking tales
feature Paul Whitehouse as a bitter
T
his is the latest
unconventional,
melancholic, moving
period piece from
Todd Haynes (Velvet
Goldmine, Far from
Heaven, Carol, Mildred
Pierce). It’s probably his
mushiest film, but in a good way.
Wonderstruck tells parallel tales of
children running away to New York:
Ben (Oakes Fegley) in 1977 and Rose
(Millicent Simmonds) in 1927. Each is
presented in the style of its era, Ben’s
in faded colour and blaxploitation
funk, Rose’s as a black-and-white silent
movie, intertitles and all. It’s a slightly
bizarre fusion, and lurching between
the two modes can be awkward, but
how heartening to have a film-maker
with such bravado. Haynes is going
all Heston Blumenthal and this is his
snail porridge — strange on paper,
delicious in practice.
The device works, mostly, because
the two kids have several things in
common. Both are on the cusp of
adolescence, both have daddy issues
(she’s fleeing hers, he’s looking for his),
both are fascinated with museums and
both are deaf — Rose congenitally so,
while Ben has lost his hearing after
being struck by lightning. That’s the
most fantastical moment in a film that
flirts with the language of fairytales
and captures the childish thrill of
reading by torchlight, exploring a
museum at night and finding a
secret hideout full of treasures.
Ben and Rose’s deafness is used as
a means of stylistic immersion: each
child drifts, in a sensory cocoon,
through the exciting, dangerous city,
accompanied by music — solemn
woodwind for Rose, lazy guitars for
Ben — and communicating with other
people by handwritten notes. Pure
cinema, but the film feels literary too.
It’s adapted by Brian Selznick from his
children’s book of the same name and
there’s a novelistic richness to the way
the two stories unfold, like something
by Michael Chabon or John Irving.
It’s our second chance this week to
appreciate the wonderful Millicent
Simmonds, who also stars in the less
gentle A Quiet Place (see review, page
9). Simmonds, deaf in real life, has a
hugely expressive face that responds
captivatingly to the perils and
pleasures of New York. Fegley’s Ben is
also engaging, defiant yet vulnerable
but less otherworldly because in his
sequences, unlike in Rose’s, we can
hear him and the other actors speak.
We certainly care about Ben and
Rose, alone like babes in a Brothers
Grimm story, yet somehow linked.
Julianne Moore, a longtime favourite
of Haynes, has a striking double
cameo that helps to bind the two
children even more closely. After some
neat set-ups, the later revelations are
more predictable and the way the two
stories are resolved is a little pat. You
forgive all of that, though, because
Haynes and his actors have built up
so much emotional credit by that
point. It’s a unique mixture of the
experimental and the sentimental.
Martin
Freeman in
Ghost Stories
nightwatchman, Alex Lawther
(The End of the F***ing World) as a
disturbed teen and Martin Freeman
as a blithe businessman, with Nyman
as the sceptical academic who sets
out to disprove their stories.
It’s more creepy than genuinely
terrifying, certainly compared
with A Quiet Place (see review, p 9).
However, the performances are on the
money, there’s a grotesque, Royston
Vasey-like atmosphere throughout,
plus some funny gags (“F***ing O2!”
snarls one character, trying to make a
call during a fraught encounter) and
the ambitious denouement has
touches of Scooby-Doo and The
Usual Suspects. EP
Jaden Michael,
Oakes Fegley and
Julianne Moore in
Wonderstruck. Right:
Nick Robinson and
Alexandra Shipp
in Love, Simon
How heartening that a mainstream
studio flick could have a gay
protagonist. How disappointing that
said flick is as twee and anodyne as
this. Nick Robinson (likeable, bland)
stars as Simon Spier, a 17-year-old
schoolboy in Atlanta, whose life
appears to have been curated by an
irksome advertising agency. He has
gorgeous, understanding parents (Josh
Duhamel and Jennifer Garner), he
listens to the Kinks (on vinyl, natch)
and he has a sickeningly clean-cut
group of friends, for whom “drinking
too much coffee” is the ultimate vice.
He’s also gay, but hasn’t told anyone,
until he meets an anonymous person
online who is in the same boat. The
inevitable coming-out scenes are
nicely done, though still bedevilled by
clichés — the friend who knew all
along, the father who can’t get his
head around it — and there’s little in
the way of genuine turbulence; even
Simon’s blackmailer is polite. The
whole thing is so modulated, so devoid
of sharp edges, that Simon barely
seems to notice what’s meant to be a
pivotal event, and neither do we. EP
120 Beats Per
Minute
15, 143min
{{{((
The Times
Film Show
Ed Potton and
Larushka IvanZadeh discuss
A Quiet Place
thetimes.co.uk/arts
Robin Campillo’s César-winning
French-language film focuses on gay
Aids activists in Paris during the HIV
epidemic of the early Nineties, when
infection rates were worse than in the
UK and Germany. With several of the
campaigners succumbing to the
disease, patience is understandably
short with heel-dragging politicians
and self-interested pharma giants.
Campillo captures the guerrilla
excitement of the group’s media stunts
(invading the offices of a drug
company and squirting fake blood),
the strobe-lit throb of their partying
and the tenderness of the romance
between two of the activists (Arnaud
Valois and Nahuel Pérez Biscayart).
Perhaps more impressively he
squeezes drama from the group
meetings, which in most films would
be snooze-fests. Here, they’re
boisterous and funny, with the
moderates clashing with the “back-row
radicals” and the listeners clicking
their fingers instead of clapping so
as not to drown out the speakers.
It’s formulaic and too long, with
an indulgent amount of time devoted
to the death of a leading character.
When that death finally comes,
however, it hits hard, especially the
scenes in which the young man’s
stoic mum makes tea for his
mourning friends. EP
the times | Friday April 6 2018
11
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film reviews
How Bruce went from
Die Hard to try-hard
The star of this
dire remake looks
completely lost,
says Larushka
Ivan-Zadeh
Death Wish
15, 107min
T
{((((
he director Michael
Winner liked to
recount how, after
making The Stone
Killer with Charles
Bronson, he pitched
a new script, based
on Brian Garfield’s
controversial bestseller Death Wish, to
his 53-year-old star. “It’s about a man
whose wife and daughter are mugged
and he goes out and shoots muggers.”
“I’d like to do that,” Bronson replied.
“Make Death Wish?” Winner asked.
“No — shoot muggers,” Bronson said.
Therein lies the enduring appeal
of Death Wish. In Winner’s original
exploitation flick a well-heeled New
York architect (Bronson) harkens the
primal call of the old West and grabs
a gun to avenge his family. Slammed
as immoral by contemporary
reviewers, this 1974 macho fantasy
spawned four sequels, each more
critically loathed than the last, and,
belatedly, this unwanted reboot.
This time it’s Bruce Willis who
portrays Dr Paul Kersey, a mildmannered liberal family man and
dedicated surgeon who turns into a
mass-murdering vigilante when his
loving wife (poor old Elisabeth Shue)
and ravishing (if pointedly unravished
in this remake) teenage daughter
(played by Leonardo DiCaprio’s 20year-old girlfriend, Camila Morrone)
are attacked by home intruders.
Willis would seem a safe pair of
hands for this job. I mean, we all know
where we are with him. He’s a good
guy who shoots bad guys, right? A
lone hero standing above the law to
exact justice with a gun, the emblem
that made America great.
Antonio Lopez
1970: Sex,
Fashion & Disco
15, 94min
{{{((
This scenester doc mainly informs us
that the fashion illustrator Antonio
Lopez was “so cute, so sexy, oh my
God!” according to a gaggle of former
“Antonio girls” such as the actress
Jessica Lange and Warhol “superstar”
Donna Jordan. Thankfully Grace
Thoroughbreds
15, 93min
{{{{(
A deliciously icy noir about two
overprivileged Connecticut teenagers,
Thoroughbreds is like Mean Girls
directed by Hitchcock. Lily (Anya
Taylor-Joy) is a terrifyingly polished,
rich little narcissist who aspires
to be the next Steve Jobs; Amanda
(Ready Player One’s Olivia Cooke)
is a sullen drop-out rumoured to
have done something unspeakable
with a horse.
Once childhood chums, they have
drifted apart, only to reluctantly
reconnect over black-and-white
movies, barbed wit and murder —
co-opting a hapless hustler (Anton
Yelchin in his final appearance)
as their bit-of-rough stooge.
Actually, Dogtooth meets Heathers
is closer to the deadpan dialogue of
the debut writer/director Cory Finley.
Both actresses excel, even though
their spoilt sociopaths are fabulously
unlikeable. Remember Finley: he’s an
exciting new talent. LI-Z
I Kill Giants
12A, 106min
{{{((
Bruce Willis plays a
vigilante in Death Wish
Yet times have moved on. Unlike
Bronson, Willis doesn’t look as if he’s
mustard keen to shoot muggers in the
face. No “yippee ki-yay” of glee is
triggered when he picks up a shooter.
Nor, conversely, does Willis exhibit
much in the way of moral conflict
about Kersey taking the rather radical
step of killing a load of people (as you
might expect, given that his character
is a lifesaving surgeon). The trademark
Willis smirk is kept locked away until
the last frame. Instead he mopes
mutely around looking lost and lonely,
like a very sad egg left after a picnic.
To be fair to Willis, no one involved
in this bland-by-numbers exercise
seems to know what they are doing
here either. Except, perhaps, making
a buck or two. Which is frankly
inexcusable in a climate where
gun-protection laws are a hot potato.
The original November US release
date for Death Wish was pushed
forward, apparently out of sensitivity
towards the Las Vegas massacre in
October that left 58 people dead. Its
rescheduled March release then fell
three weeks after the Florida high-
school tragedy. Sadly, it seems
that there’s no right time to release
a pro-gun film in America without
it coinciding with a mass shooting.
Which, in itself, should give the
rebooters of Death Wish pause
for thought.
The director Eli Roth, whose
claim to fame is inventing “torture
porn”, appears largely uninterested
in making his Death Wish relevant.
Or anything at all, really. He makes
feeble jabs at challenging the
franchise’s hardcore conservatism,
but his pointless remake lacks punch.
At least Winner’s grimy 1974
melodrama was a blunt but effective
tool; its portrayal of failing public
services prompted a national debate
about how to tackle street crime.
Roth’s vapid effort is unlikely to
promote anything but yawns. His
police detectives are amiable flat-foots.
His public hospital looks glossier than
the one in Grey’s Anatomy. Aside from
a silly scene in which a bowling ball
teeters along a high shelf, only to drop
on to a baddie’s bonce, it’s not even
cartoonish fun. A mistimed misfire.
Fashion illustrator
Antonio Lopez (far left)
and Nancy North in
Saint-Tropez, 1970
Coddington, a Vogue legend, is also on
hand to provide some much needed
cultural context that, before Lopez,
“fashion drawing was like a very stiff
couture model. Antonio brought this
whole new style.” The archive visuals
are a ball, yet the story is too skimpy.
It’s like being told about an awesome
party when you really just want
to be there. LI-Z
Barbara (Madison Wolfe) is not your
average teenager — she wears bunny
ears to “tune into my spirit animal”
and spends her free time in the woods
laying traps for giants.
Hints dropped by her harassed elder
sister (Imogen Poots) and her kindly
school counsellor (Zoe Saldana)
suggest such unbearable kookiness
hides something darker. What that is
won’t surprise viewers of A Monster
Calls, which attempted a similarly
tricky blend of magical realism and
tear-jerking familial trauma to more
penetrating effect, or, of course,
readers of Joe Kelly’s original
YA graphic novel.
An owlishly endearing Wolfe
swerves the potential for a manic pixie
dream girl, snarking out one-liners
such as, “I’m a little mean to people
who are dumb,” with believable
ferocity. It’s not Donnie Darko, but
it may delight the nerdie tween weirdo
in your life. LI-Z
The Hurricane
Heist
12A, 103min
{((((
That the poster recalls Sharknado, the
feeble direct-to-DVD franchise about
a cyclone of man-eating sharks, was
a bad omen. This is a genre mashup
wherein hackers try to break into and
rob a US government treasury in the
midst of a hurricane, with disastrous
results — and we aren’t just talking
the inclement weather conditions.
Unforgivably more boring than
bad, this has characters, dialogue and
music of a quality that would come
free with a make-your-own-actionmovie kit, while the special effects
are anything but. A climactic truck
race is confusingly pretty good, until
you clock that it’s directed by The Fast
and the Furious creator Rob Cohen.
The lovely lead, Maggie Grace, is
clearly 100 per cent committed to
making this a movie worth starring
in — but it isn’t. To be viewed only
when asleep at home with an empty
pizza box in front of you. LI-Z
12
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
music reviews
Sorry, Kylie — you’re no cowgirl
The pop star’s
bewildering foray
into country froths
with clichés, says
Will Hodgkinson
ageing. Elsewhere, Dylan & Caitlin
weighs up the poetry, alcoholism and
passion of Dylan and Caitlin Thomas’s
relationship and In Eternity takes stock
of David Bowie’s contribution to the
world and what his death meant for it.
It’s all couched in rock rich with
melody, augmented by orchestration
and delivered with purpose.
pop
Love
Forever Changes: 50th
Anniversary Edition
Kylie Minogue
Golden
Rhino
Sony BMG
{{{{{
{{(((
K
ylie goes country! But why?
The world’s foremost
purveyor of camp disco pop
has, at 49, swapped her
sparkling hotpants for a pair
of denim Daisy Dukes, jumped on the
back of a pick-up truck and whistled
her way on down to Nashville for an
album that not only employs hit
songwriters for Taylor Swift and
Carrie Underwood, but also finds
Kylie putting on her best Dolly Parton
Tennessee twang in the hope of
sounding authentic. In the event, with
drum machines and digital effects
sweetening the pill for hardcore fans
horrified at the thought of their
favourite diva getting a bit of dirt
under her fingernails, this is the most
unconvincing Kylie album yet.
It doesn’t start too badly. Dancing
finds Kylie facing up to mortality by
stating that when her time comes, she
wants to go out dancing — highly
unlikely, unless she is squashed by a
falling mirrorball — and refusing to
be maudlin and self-pitying in timehonoured Kylie fashion. From then on,
Golden sounds more like the product
of a marketing meeting than a newfound love of country music, with
none of the genre’s storytelling depth
or melancholic weight of experience,
but plenty of frothy, forgettable songs
about nothing much in particular.
The strange thing here is that Kylie
has plenty of potential material to
draw on. She has faced down a bout
of cancer, gone through a handful of
relationships and survived the
vicissitudes of three decades in the
public eye with the kind of good
Kylie Minogue recorded much of her country-influenced new album in Nashville
Essential
tracks
Westerman
Confirmation
The yacht-rock revival
continues apace
Q-Tip & Demi Lovato
Don’t Go Breaking
My Heart
A laid-back reggae
take on Elton’s standard
Sons of Kemet
My Queen is
Harriet Tubman
Featuring Shabaka
Hutchings, star of the
UK jazz renaissance, a
drum-and-brass attack
Hear these and more at
spoti.fi/essentialtracks
cheer that has made her one of
the most beloved people in show
business. But these songs could be
by and about anyone. Sincerely Yours
and One Last Kiss are filled with lines
about weathering storms and hearts
breaking in two. As for the country
element, it tends to be signposted
by the odd banjo pluck or acoustic
guitar shuffle — Live a Little even
features a touch of vinyl crackle —
before the songs settle into a default
of Identikit pop.
Here and there, that evergreen
Kylie likeability does shine through.
Shelby ’68, an ode to her father’s car,
has the easy-going feel of a drive-time
classic, although hopefully Kylie isn’t
thinking about her father when she
sings of an animal attraction she
“knew was wrong, but felt so right”.
And on Raining Glitter she is back
to doing what she does best: escapist,
uplifting pop. For the most part,
though, Kylie has been squeezed into a
pair of cowboy boots that just don’t fit.
Manic Street Preachers
Resistance is Futile
Forget Sgt Pepper and Pet Sounds. The
best album of all time is a 1967 flop
that captured and transcended its era
with an exquisite blend of mystery and
realism. Arthur Lee formed Love to
match the Byrds in the folk-rock
stakes, but made a baroque masterpiece
about Vietnam, nuclear war and the
limits of the hippie dream.
Bryan MacLean contributed Alone
Again Or, one of the most romantic
of songs, while on A House Is Not a
Motel, Lee imagines water turning to
blood, and The Red Telephone offers
such contrarian zingers to his fellow
flower children as: “If you want to
count me, count me out.” This edition
is four CDs, a DVD, one vinyl, a book
and unreleased songs, but it’s really a
chance to return to an album so good,
it has entered the realms of the sacred.
Sony
{{{{(
The cover of the Manics’ 13th album
features a photograph of one of the
last samurai warriors, a figure now
relegated to history. It reflects the
Welsh band’s position as former
revolutionaries who face dwindling
returns in heritage industry Valhalla
after 30 years in the game. By tackling
the issue head-on, however, they’ve
made their best album in years.
“People get tired, people get old,
people get forgotten,” sings James
Dean Bradfield on People Give In,
turning the essential tragedy of life
into a hands-aloft anthem, while the
bassist, Nicky Wire, sings about
“feeling like an animal, the one that
time forgot” on The Left Behind, as if
realising that stardom can’t stop him
The Damned
Evil Spirits
Spinefarm
{{{((
The Damned released the first punk
single in 1976 with New Rose, but they
always belonged more to the era of
Syd Barrett than Sid Vicious, so it fits
that their latest is so psychedelic.
Produced by Tony Visconti, it
tackles Floyd-style whimsy (We’re
So Nice), mordant musical theatre
(Look Left) and whirling garage punk
(Devil in Disguise), all held down by
Dave Vanian’s ominous croon. The
title track heads towards prog rock,
the very thing punk was put on
this earth to destroy.
Nordic novelties played with nimble grace
classical
Mark
Bebbington
Grieg
Somm
{{{{(
H
ere’s a track listing to make
music lovers pause: Piano
Concerto No 2 in
B minor by Grieg. Surely
Norway’s beloved composer
only wrote an A minor concerto —
the popular one that begins with
decisive piano chords tumbling down,
as if over a cliff. This, however, is
something else: an abandoned work
from 1881, left very unfinished. But
that doesn’t stop musicologists getting
excited, and here we have Robert
Matthew-Walker’s lightly orchestrated
arrangement of the surviving sketches,
performed by the excellent Mark
Bebbington, right, with the Royal
Philharmonic Orchestra
conducted by Jan
Latham-Koenig.
Grieg’s fingerprints
are clearly audible.
One grimacing theme
is just the thing a
goblin would whistle
in the incidental music
for Peer Gynt. Another
theme is unassumingly
bucolic. None of the material
suggests that it is rich for
development. This isn’t a discovery
that changes world history, but it’s
good to have the evidence laid out,
and I’d happily hear Bebbington play
anything. He also offers the
other Grieg piano
concerto and the less
familiar concerto by
Delius, both presented
with nimble grace,
some grandiloquent
aplomb, and succulent
orchestral playing.
The novelty that really
made me excited this week
was Debussy’s Chinese ballet
score No-ja-la, another unfinished
work, originally earmarked for a 1914
revue, more recently restored to life in
a brilliant reconstruction by Robert
Orledge. Its premiere performance by
excellent Cardiff University forces is
the highlight of City of Light: New
Discoveries (Prima Facie, {{{{().
We know about Debussy’s love of
the exotic, but this music’s full-blown
oriental atmosphere is still surprising.
Interspersed with gamelan imitations,
the ballet, set in a palace where speech
is forbidden, ends with a rousing
chorus of joy. It was exactly my
emotion. Other novelties on this lively
album, conducted by Mark Eager,
include a wartime song cycle by André
Jolivet, not, alas, persuasively sung,
and a characterful prelude from
Debussy’s abandoned Tristan opera.
Geoff Brown
the times | Friday April 6 2018
13
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©CLAES-GÖRAN WETTERHOLM COLLECTION
Why does it have so potent a hold on
our imaginations? Are all the myths
true? And when is it acceptable for
loss to be turned to commercial gain?
The longer you think about it, the
more unsettled you feel.
Yet the tale has all the elements of a
great tragedy. The hubris of declaring
the ship unsinkable; the villains
(among them Bruce Ismay, the White
Star Line chairman, who put speed
above safety and knew that there were
not enough lifeboats); and any number
of heroes, including the man who,
worrying that his wife was cold, went
to his cabin to warm her a flask of
milk, which he passed to her even as
her lifeboat was being lowered. It was
the last time she saw him.
Poring
over the
wreck of
Titanic
Last year a book
about Titanic
was published
every two days
A new exhibition explores
our fascination with the
doomed liner, says Rachel
Campbell-Johnston
W
hen does a
used ticket
stub cost
£30,000?
When it was
a ticket to
watch the
launch of
RMS Titanic. About 100,000 people
paid for quayside views in 1912 as the
liner first slid into the waters that were
to submerge her. The fact so humble a
piece of memorabilia could fetch such
a huge price gave the director of the
National Maritime Museum Cornwall
the idea for his latest show.
Titanic Stories starts out by telling
the tale of the ship. Rare and neverbefore-shown items send a shiver
down the spine. A small whistle, for
instance, belonging to a steward
who managed to scramble on to an
upturned collapsible, from which he
was rescued by a lifeboat. He would
probably have died had one of the
passengers not shared her fur coat.
In gratitude he gave her the whistle,
which she kept all her life.
Next to it is the scrap of white
handkerchief that a first-class traveller,
Eleanor Cassebeer, waved all night.
She recorded that there were only 35
people in her boat, but that when the
officer in charge suggested returning
to pick up others, he was forcibly
prevented from doing so. Near by is
a lifejacket. It is not only incredibly
heavy — as you will find out if you try
on the replica — but lacks the sort of
neck support offered by its modern
counterparts. Dozens of people would
have snapped their spines when they
jumped from the ship.
The testimony of one of those who
survived can be heard in an audio
recording that is played as you stand
before a full-scale reconstruction of a
lifeboat. A schoolteacher provides the
exhibition
haunting description of the ship tilting,
her bow soaring upwards like a
column against star-spangled skies.
The lights that had shone without a
flicker all night, he says, flashed off
and then on again, then turned dark
for good; and there was a terrible
sound, he remembers, “a roar, a groan,
a rattle, a smash . . . as if all the heavy
things you could think of in a house
had been thrown down the stairs”,
before the Titanic took her last dive.
As you look at the clock that stood
on the mantel of the rescuing ship,
Carpathia, you stare, as those saved
must once have stared as they huddled
in front of a warming fire, at the hands
set to eight o’clock. Half an hour later
Carpathia departed, leaving a sea
strewn with detritus and corpses.
This may not be a show of fine
artworks, but it is certainly evocative.
The curators also encourage us to
think about the legacy of the sinking.
Poster for the 1929 film
Titanic. Below: Titanic
wine from 1997. Above
left: souvenir bonbons
Add to this the disgrace of valuing
first-class passengers above those in
steerage (a chart makes the brutal
facts only too clear) and the fact that
people of all nationalities were on
board, and you have every ingredient
for an attention-grabbing drama.
Titanic Stories traces its growth from
the breaking headlines to a flourishing
publishing industry. Last year a book
about Titanic was published every two
days. It looks at the senatorial inquiry
after the sinking, fundraising and the
postcards, songs and films — including
the “Nazi” Titanic, commissioned by
Joseph Goebbels, which presents
fictional German officers as heroes
and Jewish passengers as villains.
Spectators can trace the gradual
emergence of the truth and how it has
been perverted. The captain’s last act
was not, as reported, to broach
freezing waters to rescue a baby. The
band didn’t play Nearer, My God, to
Thee as the ship went down. With the
mythology came the merchandise:
from objects recovered from the
seabed to tasteless souvenir tat.
Millvina Dean, at two months old
the youngest passenger, was the last
survivor. She died nine years ago and
the disaster can perhaps be consigned
to the history books. How can a
tragedy in which more than 1,500
people died be commemorated by
aquarium ornaments, ice cubes (“sink
this in your gin and Titonic”) or
condoms? But this show is as much a
tale of the prurience of humanity as it
is about a great ship that sank.
National Maritime Museum
Cornwall, Falmouth (01326 313388),
to January 7
Ektertaikmekts
Theatres
HER MAJESTY'S 020 7087 7762
THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
THE PHANTOM OF
THE OPERA
Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30
www.ThePhantonOfTheOpera.com
Book your advertisement or
announcement now at:
thetimes.co.uk/ advertise
QUEEN'S
0844 482 5160
The Musical Phenomenon
LES MISÉRABLES
Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30
www.LesMis.com
St Martin's
020 7836 1443
66th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
Mon-Sat 7.30, Tues & Thu 3, Sat 4
www.the-mousetrap.co.uk
Vaudeville Theatre 0330 333 4814
Oscar Wilde's LADY
WINDERMERE'S
FAN
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Thu & Sat 2.30
Classicspring.co.uk
%
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en
can cost up to
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14
1G T
Friday April 6 2018 | the times
television & radio
A bit Bourne, a bit Bauer, 100 per cent Strong
SIFE ELAMINE/FOX NETWORKS GROUP
Chris
Bennion
TV review
Deep State
Fox
{{{((
The Investigator
ITV
F
{{(((
ox’s slick new espionage
thriller Deep State got
interesting only towards the
end of last night’s opener,
when our hero, a retired
British superspy played by Mark
Strong, admitted to assassinating
Dr David Kelly. Cor blimey! Well,
OK, not Dr David Kelly, but he
admitted to assassinating “a British
scientist and weapons inspector in
the run-up to the war in Iraq”. He
made it look like a suicide too. In this
world our spooks don’t just take out
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Front Row
Radio 4, 7.15pm
Front Row celebrates
20 years with a live show
presented by Kirsty Lang
and John Wilson. It really
is worth celebrating.
Front Row evolved out of
Kaleidoscope, which used
to cover science too. They
ditched that early on and it
has been going strong
pretty much ever since. It’s
no-frills, but the presenters
are interesting and
knowledgeable, and treat
listeners like adults. Here’s
to another 20 years of fine
arts coverage.
Friday Night Is
Music Night
Radio 2, 8pm
On April 1, 1918, it was
decided that the Royal
Naval Air Service and the
Royal Flying Corps should
merge. The Royal Air Force
was born and the King
chose its motto: Per ardua
ad astra (Through adversity
to the stars). The ardua
faced by pilots in the world
wars is almost too painful to
contemplate: in the Second
World War a Spitfire pilot’s
life expectancy was four
weeks. Ken Bruce, Carol
Vorderman and Dan Snow
present the centenary
event which took place
at the Royal Albert Hall
last Saturday.
the bad guys, they take out the
inconvenient guys too. Very Russian.
Up until then it had been derivative.
Quite aside from the central conceit
— Strong’s Max Easton is pulled out
of retirement for One Last Job — the
show had been a greatest hits package
of other dramas. It was a bit Homeland,
a bit 24, a bit McMafia, a bit Spooks.
Mainly, however, it was very Jason
Bourne. Easton’s dust-up with another
grizzled spy — dilapidated Middle
Eastern apartment block, household
objects improvised as weapons,
indecipherable slapping noises, lovely
pastel shades — was a middle-aged
homage to the Bourne movies.
But before all that there was plot.
Great swathes of plot. Easton was
living in Pyrenean bliss with his chic
wife and bonny daughters when those
grey-faced wonks at MI6 hauled him
in to mop up a great big mess in the
Middle East. One operative dead,
three missing. The dead one, naturally,
is his estranged son. Except he’s not
dead. Although he may be a double
agent. Or a triple agent. Anyway,
sort it out would you, old chap?
Never mind. We’re all here for one
reason and one reason only: Strong.
He’s a magnificent screen presence,
looming about the place like a Rodin
sculpture made flesh, steadfastly
refusing to unpurse his lips or
unfurrow his brow, whether he’s
pulling out someone’s fingernails with
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 The Official
Chart with MistaJam 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Dance Anthems with MistaJam 7.00 Annie
Mac 9.00 Kolsch 11.00 Danny Howard
1.00am B.Traits 4.00 Essential Mix
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Mary Portas 7.00 Tony Blackburn’s Golden
Hour. Popular music from the past 50 years
8.00 Friday Night Is Music Night. A gala
event to mark the 100th birthday of the
Royal Air Force. See Radio Choice
10.00 Sounds of the 80s. Sara Cox plays a
selection of music from the decade 12.00
Anneka Rice: The Happening 2.00am
Radio 2’s Funky Soul Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: New to 2 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
21st Century Songs 5.00 Huey on Saturday
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show. Including 7.00, 8.00 News.
7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Ian Skelly presents a selection of classical
music. Plus, the actress Niamh Cusack
reveals the cultural influences that have
inspired and shaped her life and career
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schumann (1810-1856)
Donald McLeod completes his examination of
music from Schumann’s Dusseldorf years, as
the composer found himself tormented by
hallucinations towards the end of his life.
Schumann (Thema mit Variationen, Wo024;
Scenes from Goethe’s Faust, Wo03 —
Overture; Garten; and Dom; Violin Fantasy,
Op 131; Gesange der Fruhe, Op 133;
and Requiem, Op 148) (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
The Cremona Quartet, the Casals Quartet
and the Castalian String Quartet perform a
selection of works from the New Town
Concert series at the Queen’s Hall,
Edinburgh. Presented by Gareth Williams.
Puccini (Crisantemi for string quartet);
Beethoven (Sonata Op 14’1); and
Brahms (Quintet No 1 in F, Op 88)
Mark Strong as the retired superspy Max Easton in Deep State
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Penny Gore concludes a week of live concert
recordings featuring Xavier de Maistre
(harp), and the NDR Elbphilharmonie
Orchestra, under the conductor Carlos Miguel
Prieto. Ginastera (Glosses sobre tempes de
Pau Casals, Op 4; Harp Concerto, Op 25;
Estudios Sinfonicos, Op 35 — European
premiere; and Estancia, Op 8 — ballet Suite)
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
Penny Gore presents highlights from this
year’s Young Musician string category
finalists, featuring the cellist Maxim Calver
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty’s guests include the National
Youth Folk Ensemble, who perform live, and
the jazz singer Kurt Elling, who has a new
CD release. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An eclectic non-stop mix of music
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
From Philharmonic Hall, Liverpool, the
RLPO, and the Armenian cellist Narek
Hakhnazaryan, under the conductor Ben
Gernon, perform. Presented by Tom
Redmond. Wagner (Overture: Rienzi); Elgar
(Cello Concerto); and Schumann (Symphony
No 2). Recorded Thursday April 5 2018
10.00 The Verb
A visit to Cornwall to celebrate of the
centenary of the poet WS Graham, exploring
his language and his relationship with the
county. Ian McMillan presents new poetry
inspired by Graham from Rachael Boast and
Penelope Shuttle, songs inspired by the
Cornish landscape from Gwenno, specially
commissioned work from Gerry Diver (The
Speech Project) and a collaboration between
Bob Devereux and Adrian O’Reilly
10.45 The Essay:
The Book That Changed Me
The poet and playwright Inua Ellams
describes how he was influenced by Terry
Pratchett’s comic novel Pyramids
11.00 Music Planet
Buena Vista Social Club star Eliades Ochoa
is in session, plus a Road Trip to Zimbabwe,
and a Mixtape from the television travel
presenter Simon Reeve. Eliades Ochoa,
known as “Mr Chan Chan” in Cuba, performs
four classic songs in this solo acoustic
session, and introduces a track by one of his
own heroes, Benny Moré. Simon Reeve is an
author and television presenter whose travel
features have taken him to the most remote
parts of the world. The singer and traditional
mbira player Hope Masike introduces tracks
that reflect Zimbabwe’s rich heritage.
Presented by Lopa Kothari
1.00am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
With John Humphrys and Justin Webb
9.15 The Reunion
Sue MacGregor reunites five people central
to the Battle for Basra in 2003 (1/5) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week: Factfulness
How the idea of “destiny” stops us from
seeing the world as it really is (5/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews. Including at
10.45 the 15 Minute Drama: Part five of
Claudia Roden’s A Book of Middle Eastern
Food, with Tracy-Ann Oberman
11.00 Up Close and Personal
The actor and singer Clarke Peters
investigates the origins of the crooner (r)
11.30 When the Dog Dies
By Ian Davidson and Peter Vincent (2/6) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Katie Hims. Last in the series
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Voices of the First World War
Recollections of the arrival of large numbers
of US troops in France in 1918 (5/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Love Me Tender
Ian McMillan’s comedy drama in which all the
characters speak in different verse forms.
A radio producer makes a documentary about
trainspotters. With Conrad Nelson (r)
3.00 Gardeners’ Question Time
From Hambleton, North Yorkshire
3.45 Short Works
The Astonishing Good Fortune of Marigold
Castor, by Lionel Shriver
4.00 Last Word
Obituaries presented by Matthew Bannister
4.30 Feedback
Listeners’ views
4.55 The Listening Project
A father and son discuss the care
of their wife and mother
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Now Show
Stand-up and sketches, with guest
comedians Ellie Taylor and Ola (6/6)
7.00 The Archers
Brian puts on a show
an old pair of pliers or sanding down
a handmade bench. It’s as if they’ve
replaced Jack Bauer with a mildly
peeved PE teacher from Richmond.
The plot wants us to keep guessing
who the bad guys are — MI6, Iran,
Easton’s son, Easton’s old chum — but
I wasn’t engaged with that question
until Easton’s revelation about
bumping off weapons inspectors.
Perhaps there will be more to this
glossy thriller than paperback clichés.
Guesswork was the hallmark of The
Investigator, which returned last night
for a second series of Making a
Murderer-lite real-life crime bumf. I
rather like Mark Williams-Thomas,
the criminologist at the front of the
show. He is solid, unshowy and well
intentioned, going about his case with
diligence and no shortage of expertise.
He is attempting to uncover the fate
of Louise Kay, an 18-year-old who
disappeared in East Sussex in 1988.
Williams-Thomas has a theory. And
it’s a decent one. The serial killer Peter
Tobin, who is serving life for three
murders, was operating in the area
around that time. It’s plausible. But
Williams-Thomas struggled to find
even solid circumstantial evidence to
back up his hunch, which, to my mind,
verges on the irresponsible. There are
two more episodes to go, so I will
prepare to eat my words, but Kay’s
family deserve more than conjecture,
no matter how expert.
7.15 Front Row
Arts and culture programme, featuring news,
interviews and reviews. See Radio Choice
7.45 A Book of Middle Eastern Food
Dramatised by Anjum Malik (5/5)
8.00 Any Questions?
Ritula Shah presents political debate from
All Saints Church in Bakewell, Derbyshire,
with a panel including MPs Tracy Brabin,
Nigel Evans and Tim Farron
8.50 A Point of View
China and the retreat of liberal values
9.00 Home Front Omnibus
Parts 21-25. By Katie Hims
10.00 The World Tonight
With Chris Mason
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit Is Rich
By John Updike. An argument between
Nelson and his father precedes a rapidly
arranged wedding. Abridged by Robin Brooks
and read by Toby Jones (5/10)
11.00 Great Lives
Jim Moir, aka Vic Reeves, chooses the life
of Don van Vliet — Captain Beefheart (r)
11.30 Ramblings
Clare Balding walks through the Peak
District with comedian Ed Byrne (1/7) (r)
11.55 The Listening Project
A man recalls the conversations he had
with his father. Presented by Fi Glover
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week: Factfulness
Abridged by Anna Magnusson (5/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again 8.30
Brothers in Law 9.00 The Motion Show 9.30
Kathmandu or Bust 10.00 Anna Karenina
11.00 Podcast Radio Hour 12.00 I’m Sorry
I’ll Read That Again 12.30pm Brothers in
Law 1.00 Brother Cadfael: The Virgin in the
Ice 1.30 Arvon Turns 40 2.00 The Essex
Serpent 2.15 Disability: A New History
2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45 On Her
Majesty’s Secret Service 3.00 Anna Karenina
4.00 The Motion Show 4.30 Kathmandu or
Bust 5.00 The Stanley Baxter Playhouse
5.30 In and Out of the Kitchen 6.00
Hothouse 6.30 Mastertapes 7.00 I’m Sorry
I’ll Read That Again. Comedy with John
Cleese, Graeme Garden and Bill Oddie 7.30
Brothers in Law. Comedy with Richard Briers
and Terence Alexander 8.00 Brother Cadfael:
The Virgin in the Ice. Mystery by Ellis Peters
8.30 Arvon Turns 40. Mavis Cheek examines
the birth and growth of the Arvon Foundation
9.00 Podcast Radio Hour. Sarah Wade and
Cariad Lloyd recommend their favourite
podcasts 10.00 Comedy Club: In and Out of
the Kitchen. A fugitive prowls the area
10.30 The Show What You Wrote. Sketches
about art and literature 11.00 Kevin Eldon
Will See You Now. Sketches about shaping
hedges and eating cheese 11.30 A Look Back
at the Nineties. Comedy with Brian Perkins
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 Chiles on
Friday 1.00pm The Friday Sports Panel 2.00
Kermode and Mayo’s Film Review 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport: The Friday Football
Social 9.00 5 Live Golf: The Masters. Mark
Chapman introduces commentary on day two
of The Masters from the Augusta National in
Georgia 10.00 Stephen Nolan 1.00am
Up All Night 5.00 5 Live Boxing with
Costello & Bunce 5.30 Under the Weather
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
10.00 Jim White, Perry Groves and Bob
Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee and Jacobs 4.00
Adrian Durham and Darren Gough 7.00
The Season Ticket with Danny Kelly and
Laura Woods 10.00 The Two Mikes
1.00am Extra Time with Tom Latchem
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Tom
Ravenscroft 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00
Steve Lamacq 7.00 Cillian Murphy 9.00 Tom
Ravenscroft. With a guest mix by Sweatson
Klank 12.00 Nemone’s Electric Ladyland
2.00am 6 Music Classic Concert. The
Boomtown Rats 3.00 6 Music Live Hour 4.00
Sound and Vision 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00
Nicholas Owen 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall
5.00 Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert. A tribute to the
work of Patrick Doyle on his 65th birthday.
Patrick Doyle (My Father’s Favourite; Harry
Potter and the Goblet of Fire — Highlights;
Murder on the Orient Express Suite; As You
Like It — Violin Romance; Brave — Fate and
Destiny; and Cinderella — Dances) 10.00
Smooth Classics. With Margherita Taylor
1.00am Katie Breathwick 4.00 Jane Jones
the times | Friday April 6 2018
15
1G T
first night
DARREN BELL
Pop
George Ezra
O2 Brixton Academy, SW9
A
{{{{(
fter the ubiquity of Ed
Sheeran, we really don’t
need another inoffensive
singer-songwriter with an
acoustic guitar, a fondness
for casual wear and a handful of songs
about girls. Yet George Ezra’s star has
continued to rise. This 24-year-old
from Bristol has hit No 1 with his
second album, Staying at Tamara’s,
and was greeted by a sold-out Brixton
crowd like a beloved son returning
home after a gap year abroad. As it
turns out, that is essentially what he is.
“I took myself off to a city I love,
found a stranger on the internet and
agreed to live with them,” said Ezra, in
a tone that suggested this was a crazy
idea, while explaining to us the basic
concept of Airbnb before the gentle
folk pop of Barcelona. He said the sight
of people walking on a hillside inspired
Pretty Shining People, and he came up
with Paradise after travelling through a
beautiful stretch of the west coast of
America while feeling rather ill. Bob
Dylan he is not, but that is at the heart
of his appeal. For someone who has
been under the disorientating lens of
fame for the past two years, Ezra
remains strangely innocent.
Sometimes his lack of guile got the
better of him. Get Away, a song about
getting away, tipped into Paul Simon’s
Graceland territory, and the West
Country reggae of Listen to the Man
brought unwelcome visions of public
school boys thinking they are Bob
Marley. Yet you couldn’t help but
warm to Ezra’s boisterous charm and
his ability to write a sunny tune.
After coming on stage to Quincy
Jones’s Soul Bossa Nova he began the
concert with Cassy O’, a cheery
singalong about his inability to be on
time for anything, and finished with
Budapest, an inter-railing story named
after the city he never made it to
after having too much of a good time
with three young Swedish women.
Although musically unremarkable,
there was something about Ezra and
his happy songs that made everyone
at this concert feel good.
Will Hodgkinson
Theatre
Devil with the
Blue Dress
The Bunker, SE1
{{{((
O
Joshua Hill, Leo Staar and Eddie Eyre in The Country Wife
Risqué? No
way — just dull
This updated Restoration comedy is more
style than substance, says Ann Treneman
Theatre
The Country
Wife
Southwark
Playhouse, SE1
{{(((
ne of the best points made
by this all-female play
about the Monica
Lewinsky scandal is that
it is indeed called “the
Monica Lewinsky scandal”. Think of
the other big American political sex
scandals that followed, our duelling
narrators Lewinsky and Hillary
Clinton suggest here, and it’s the male
names that stick: the Anthony Weiner
scandal; the Al Franken scandal; the
Donald Trump scandals.
Was it Hillary’s political savvy that
got the mud to stick to the intern
infatuated with the leader of the free
world? A man who, as Kevin
Armento’s play reminds us, used
lawyerly semantics to deny having
“sexual relations” with her? Did
Hillary use her husband’s disgrace as
an initial boost to her own political
career? And did Hillary’s
determination not to let this sort
of mess engulf her again lead to the
kind of control-freakery that meant
she was seen as smart, but cold
and calculating, which took her
W
illiam Wycherley’s
classic play, first
seen in 1675, wasn’t
performed for
centuries because
it was so very rude and lewd. It is,
basically, rabbits in a sack, but wearing
nice clothes. This new adaptation is set
in the Roaring Twenties, which makes
it Restoration comedy masquerading
as Brideshead Revisited. It’s not a bad
idea, but this is more style than
substance in every way. It would not
be banned for being risqué, but just
for being dull.
Restoration comedy is having a
moment in Theatreland. I’m seeing
three this week alone, but they
are tricky to stage. The plots are
complicated, the dialogue wordy, the
characters plentiful and the (mixed)
moral messages are interspersed with
double entendres so broad as to make
them quadruple (at least).
The adaptors here are Luke
Fredericks and Stewart Charlesworth,
who go under the name Morphic
Graffiti, and they have kept the basic
plot. There’s a cad named Horner,
played by Eddie Eyre, more or less
constantly in tightie whities, who
pretends to be a eunuch to bed more
women. There’s a man named
Pinchwife (a miscast Richard Clews),
who is determined to keep his wife,
Margery, who is visiting London,
away from Horner and his like.
Margery is played by Nancy Sullivan
with a grating Essex accent. She
carries with her an air of perpetual
silliness, but she certainly sees the
attraction of a certain Mr Horner.
Everyone is jealous or pretending not
to be. Pinchwife locks Margery in each
evening. He may lack, as the dating
advertisements say, a GSOH. “Write
as I bid you,” he demands of his wife,
“or I will write ‘whore’ with this knife
on your face.” Margery couldn’t care
less, but it’s hardly high comedy.
Fredericks directs and Charlesworth
is the designer. The priority is clear
from the start, and it’s style that
matters here. The women slink around
in silky flapperish dresses and the men
exist mostly in dandyish suits and/or
tennis whites, or, indeed, towels. They
have added new location settings and,
since the set is mostly moveable props,
this requires endless scene changes,
all of which involve stylised dance
sequences set to jazzy music.
It’s already too long and the scene
changes seem to take longer than
the scenes themselves. Almost
everyone, including the men, seemed
shrill. The whole play feels as brittle
as the china that is being smashed off
stage at one point. Laugh? We did,
almost, but then gave up.
Box office: 020 7407 0234, to April 21
Kristy Phillips as Chelsea Clinton and Flora Montgomery as Hillary Clinton
close-but-no-cigar to a return to
the White House?
Yes, there are interesting ideas
in Devil with the Blue Dress, named
after the semen-stained dress that
Lewinsky’s Republican friend Linda
Tripp urged her not to dry-clean. You
have to wait to get to them, though.
For a long time Armento’s play is more
a précis than a drama, for all that
Joshua McTaggart’s production is
stylishly staged and beautifully acted.
Composure incarnate in a pink trouser
suit, Flora Montgomery’s Hillary tries
to tell us her story. Yet other people
keep deciding that it’s their story too.
Daniella Isaacs is excellent as the
naive but determined Monica, pushed
Concert
Theatre of the Ayre
Wigmore Hall
S
{{{{{
o many people in the madrigals
and whatnots sung in this
concert were thwarted in love,
wounded, or ready for death.
Even so, it was a wonderfully
exhilarating night. Half of that zing
can be put down to the vigorous,
ornate wonders of 17th-century vocal
music. The other half rests with the
fierce eloquence of those singers and
instrumentalists gathered together in
Elizabeth Kenny’s ensemble, fancily
titled Theatre of the Ayre.
Take Joanne Lunn, one of those
sunshine sopranos, noble in purity and
expressive zeal, with bull’s-eye top
notes. She lit up the sky, whether
wriggling her way through excitable
duets, threading a path through
complex ensembles, or exquisitely
navigating Francesca Caccini’s song
with the gloomy refrain: “Leave me to
die.” Yet every voice had its own gifts.
Anna Starushkevych brought darker
tints (and, less welcome, some robotic
gestures). Nicholas Mulroy offered
kaleidoscopic shadings. Giles
Underwood stayed quietly sensitive,
especially for a bass-baritone, while
Nick Pritchard, spotless, was the
perfect ensemble tenor.
Nor were the musicians short of
beauties, especially in the instrumental
items laced between Monteverdi,
Sigismondo d’India and the rest.
Rodolfo Richter’s and Jane Gordon’s
violins almost caught fire prancing
about in Marco Uccellini’s sonata,
while Kenny’s lute and Robert
Howarth’s harpsichord ensured that
ensemble bass lines stayed pleasantly
decorative, without becoming too
florid for words.
And the repertoire highlight? It
must be d’India’s epic Se tu, Silvio
crudel, part madrigal, part putative
opera (the concert was labelled
“Inventing Bel Canto”), garlanded with
five vocal lines fanning out in textures
so rich that it could almost have been
Tallis’s 40-part motet. The heroine
dies, of course, mistakenly stabbed by
the man she adores; but really, I was
too happy to care.
Geoff Brown
to one side as Bill bids for re-election
in 1996 and doing her best not to be
pushed to one side again.
Bill, neatly, is voiced only by the
other characters. Emma Handy as
Tripp, Dawn Hope as the piggy-in-themiddle White House secretary Betty
Currie and Kristy Phillips as Chelsea
Clinton, studying at Stanford when the
scandal breaks, puff themselves up or
grab a mike to imitate his steady
charm. Tashomi Balfour plays
saxophone next to Basia Binkowska’s
raised rectangular set, giving another
flavour of this sax-mad president.
Armento’s flights of fancy are firmly
rooted in fact. He offers a recap — an
elegant, pointed recap, but a recap
nonetheless — of events that have
been exhaustively documented. When
in the second half he makes us feel
Monica and Hillary’s mutual isolation,
the play goes beyond the journalistic
and edges towards a voice of its own. I
would have traded some of its lucidity
for something more surprising sooner.
Dominic Maxwell
Box office: 020 7234 0486, to April 28
16
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Friday April 6 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
James Jackson
The City
& the City
BBC Two, 9pm
In 2009
the British
author
China
Miéville’s sci-fi-tinged
detective novel The
City & the City earned
critical acclaim and
Early
Top
pick
comparisons with
Kafka, Orwell and
Philip K Dick. You
imagine, however, that
a screen adaptation was
by no means a given,
thanks to the nature of
its central concept: the
two cities of the title
co-exist in the same
space, but are separate
because people are
taught from birth to
“unsee the other city”
— it’s illegal for one
city’s people to see
the other’s populace. If
that sounds confusing,
it’s testament to this
intriguing four-part
adaptation that it
doesn’t feel that way,
with the complex
theme underpinning a
familiar noir detective
story. David Morrissey
is Inspector Borlú of a
secret police force that
ensures nobody breaks
the laws segregating
the two cities — drab
hives named Beszel
and Ul Qoma. As befits
a Chandler-esque
detective with a touch
of the Blade Runners,
Borlú is world-weary,
smokes heavily and
wears a cool leather
coat against the urban
rain. As he investigates
the murder of a foreign
student with the help
of a mouthy sidekick
Corwi (Mandeep
Dhillon), events from
his past start to plague
him. Inevitably, he will
have to go to the other
city, where things are
very different indeed.
Written by Tony
Grisoni (Red Riding)
and imaginatively
directed by Tom
Shankland (The
Missing), it’s a
brooding thriller full
of ambitious ideas and
dystopian moodiness.
Sounds Like
Friday Night
BBC One, 7.30pm
The return of the live
music show that’s
pluckily taken on
comparisons with Top
of the Pops. Reviews
of the first series
complained that there
was not enough music,
something that the
BBC seems to have
taken note of (there’s
no mention of comedy
skits this time in the
publicity information).
Among tonight’s
popular beat combos
are the Noughties
indie-rock favourites
Snow Patrol and
the synth-pop group
Years & Years. Older
pop pickers could
instead watch the Billy
Fury documentary
repeat later on BBC
Four (10pm).
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Live Commonwealth Games
2018. Continued coverage of day two of the Games in
Queensland. Featuring the men’s and women’s track
cycling individual pursuit, the men’s 200m freestyle
swimming final. Plus, Malawi v England in netball, as well
as England v Wales and Canada v Scotland in the women’s
hockey 1.00pm BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC
Regional News; Weather 1.45 Moving On. A woman
inherits a house from her late mother, but the builder
renovating it disappears midway through the job and
stops answering her calls (r) (AD) 2.30 Escape to the
Continent. Anita Rani offers property advice to an Essex
couple seeking to start a new life and business in the
Italian region of Tuscany. She also helps with a flower
harvest at a local farm (r) (AD) 3.30 Money for Nothing.
Items found at Woking Recycling Centre include a set of
discarded garden chairs. Last in the series 4.15 Flog It!
The antiques experts Charles Hanson and Adam Partridge
unearth all manner of items to auction in Morecambe,
Lancashire (r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show hosted by
Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Live Commonwealth Games 2018. Coverage of
day two of the Games in Queensland, with the women’s
artistic gymnastics team all-around final taking centre
stage at Coomera Indoor Sports Centre 9.15 Oxford
Street Revealed. An undercover police team tries to put a
stop to a cup-and-ball gaming scam (r) (AD) 10.00
Homes Under the Hammer. The team assess properties in
Newcastle, Leyton and Gainsborough (r) 11.00 Street
Auction. Paul Martin and Irina Aggrey raise money for a
woman in Bristol (r) 11.45 Claimed and Shamed.
A holidaymaker’s claim for lost luggage is grounded
thanks to forged documents 12.15pm Bargain Hunt.
From Newark, Nottinghamshire (r) (AD) 1.00
Commonwealth Games 2018. Jason Mohammad presents
highlights of the second day in Queensland, where nine
swimming gold medals were up for grabs at the Optus
Aquatic Centre 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is. Jonty Hearnden vs Danny Sebastian compete in
West Sussex (r) 5.45 Golf: The Masters Highlights. Eilidh
Barbour presents action from the opening day at Augusta
National Golf Club in Georgia, where Sergio Garcia entered
as the reigning champion at the first Major of the year
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current
affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories,
cooking and gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio
chat show (r) 10.30 This Morning. Chat and lifestyle
features, including a look at the stories making the
newspaper headlines and a recipe in the kitchen.
Presented by Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford
12.30pm Loose Women. The singer and presenter Alesha
Dixon joins the panellists as they engage in topical debate
and interviews from a female perspective 1.30 ITV News;
Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder. Cameras follow criminal
barrister Robert Rinder as he takes on real-life cases
in a studio courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal. David
Dickinson accompanies the team to Leigh in Greater
Manchester, where Cheryl Hakeney encounters some
1960s Subbuteo sets, Jo Brayshaw’s attention is caught
with a cookie barrel collection and James Layte studies
some lantern slides (r); followed by Regional News
4.00 Tipping Point. Quiz hosted by Ben Shephard 5.00
The Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
10.00 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell. Part one of two. A Vermont
B&B with a plumbing problem (r) (AD) 10.50 The
Simpsons (r) (AD) 11.50 Channel 4 News Summary
11.55 Live Formula 1 Bahrain Grand Prix Practice 1.
Coverage from the second round of the season at the
Bahrain International Circuit in Sakhir, as the drivers
familiarise themselves with the track and adjust their car
settings. Coverage of the second practice session will be
shown on More4 2.10pm Countdown. With Colin Murray
in Dictionary Corner 3.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun.
A couple from south Wales look for a holiday home in Fort
Lauderdale, Florida (r) 4.00 A New Life in the Sun. The
newlyweds hoping to make a success of their new Spanish
bar. Last in the series (r) 5.00 Four in a Bed. The B&B
owners meet for the last time (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale.
Gogglebox’s Sandi Bogle puts items up for sale 6.00 The
Simpsons. Three festive shorts with the animated family
(r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Ellie tries to cheer up Alfie, but
his mind remains elsewhere. Meanwhile, Diane worries
about Dee Dee’s behaviour (r) (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and his guests talk about the issues of the day
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away! Paul Bohill and
Steve Pinner evict a couple who owe five months’ rent on
a flat in an affluent London suburb, and later hit a snag
when they try to seize a taxi over a £3,000 debt (r)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors. A 20-something self-confessed cannabis addict
seeks help to kick the habit, and a cheerful patient arrives
having nearly cut off the end of his finger during a spot of
DIY (r) (AD) 1.15 Home and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours
(AD) 2.15 NCIS. A bank at Quantico is robbed, but the
team discovers that stealing money may not have been
the main objective (r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: A Father’s
Guilty Secret (PG, TVM, 2016) An ambitious young
attorney discovers disturbing facts about her boss and her
family while working on a billion-dollar wrongful death
case. Thriller starring Willa Ford, Aidan Bristow, Ruby
Elise and Jef Faehnle 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours.
The Cannings learn the cause of Sheila’s memory losses
(r) (AD) 6.00 Home and Away. Jasmine finds her
stalker in her caravan (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
6.45 Live Football: Women’s World Cup
Qualification: England v Wales
(Kick-off 7.00). Coverage of the World
Cup qualifying group one match at
St Mary’s Stadium, Southampton,
where Phil Neville takes charge of his
first competitive fixture. The hosts
currently occupy second place in the
group table behind Wales, having
played one match fewer, but boast a
perfect record thus far having won all
three of their games, scoring 15 goals
and conceding none. Wales’s record
coming into this contest stands at
three wins and one draw, with all three
victories coming by a 1-0 margin, while
the drawn match finished 0-0
7.00 Emmerdale Laurel has an emotional
day, Robert faces the fallout, and
Rebecca needs to confess (AD)
9.00 The City & the City New series.
A woman’s body is found at Bulkya
Docks, and Inspector Borlu is surprised
by the similarities to an old case that
still haunts him. Thriller based on the
novel by China Miéville, starring David
Morrissey, Mandeep Dhillon and Lara
Pulver. See Viewing Guide (1/4) (AD)
9.00 Lethal Weapon Riggs and Murtaugh
are thrown into the world of
counterfeit money and when a group of
teenagers inadvertently gets involved,
it strikes a chord with Murtaugh who
is dealing with his own issues. Away
from the case, Riggs decides to pay a
visit to someone from his past (AD)
8PM
7PM
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7.00 The One Show Another mix
of nationwide reports and live
studio-based chat, hosted by
Alex Jones and Amol Ra an
7.30 Sounds Like Friday Night New
series. With Little Mix, Halsey, Years
& Years, Snow Patrol and Meghan
Trainor. See Viewing Guide (1/5)
8.00 EastEnders As the day of the E20
reopening arrives, Hunter makes Phil
question the security at the club (AD)
Late
11PM
10PM
9PM
8.30 Room 101 The best bits from the
series, plus some unseen clips (9/9)
9.00 MasterChef The best six amateurs
are tasked to impress top restaurant
critics as they compete in the last
of the semi-finals (AD)
9.30 Have I Got News for You New
series. Jeremy Paxman hosts, with
guest panellists Josh Widdicombe and
Steph McGovern. See Viewing Guide
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.35 The Graham Norton Show New
series. Emily Blunt and John Krasinski
discuss working together in horror
movie A Quiet Place, and Tom Holland
chats about Avengers: Infinity War.
With music from Kylie Minogue (1/13)
11.25 Today at the Games Clare Balding
presents action from day two
of the Commonwealth Games
11.55-6.00am Live Commonwealth
Games 2018 JJ Chalmers presents
coverage of day three in Queensland,
with the men’s artistic gymnastics
individual all-around final, the
triathlon mixed team relay, and
Canada’s men take on Scotland in
their second Pool A hockey match
10.00 Episodes Sponsors begin withdrawing
their support from the show after the
video of Matt’s escapade with the girl
in the box goes viral (2/7) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Evan Davis
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 The Gadget Show The team puts the
latest outdoor gadgets to the test —
from staying dry against the weather
and using a supercharged torch for
tea-making, to dodging paintballs
and hunting Bigfoot (4/12)
8.00 I Don’t Like Mondays New series.
Comedy game show hosted by Alan
Carr, in which audience members
compete for the chance to resign live
on air. The actress and Britain’s Got
Talent judge Amanda Holden guests
in the first edition (1/3)
8.00 Britain’s Great Cathedrals with
Tony Robinson The history of
Canterbury Cathedral, the “mother
church” for more than 85 million
people, and one of the biggest
tourist attractions in the UK (2/6)
9.00 Gogglebox Capturing the households’
instant reactions to what they are
watching on television from the
comfort of their own sofas (AD)
9.00 Jane McDonald & Friends The host
sings some of her favourite songs with
a live band, inviting Spandau Ballet
legend Tony Hadley and the singer and
actor Shayne Ward to join her. The
audience forms an integral part of
proceedings by participating in the fun,
sharing in Jane’s secret surprises (5/5)
7.30 Coronation Street Mary and Tracy
spring a surprise on Jude, Shona hopes
that David has come to his senses, and
Bethany fights Craig’s corner (AD)
8.00 Love Your Garden The greenfingered experts help transform
a Hull nurse’s garden (6/8) (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Jude begs Mary
to keep a secret from Angie, Josh’s
new friendship rings alarm bells, and
Michelle scoffs at Robert’s theory (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 Regional News
11.05 Front Row Late New series. Mary
Beard and guests discuss Stephen
Daldry’s new play The Inheritance.
See Viewing Guide
11.35 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Fact-based US crime drama starring
Darren Criss (6/9) (r) (AD)
10.45 Hellboy II: The Golden Army (12,
2008) The demon superhero, aided by
a team from the Bureau of Paranormal
Research and Defence, leads the fight
against renegade elf Prince Nuada
who is intent on reawakening an
unstoppable robot army and bringing
about the demise of mankind. Action
fantasy sequel directed by Guillermo
del Toro, starring Ron Perlman, Selma
Blair, Doug Jones and Luke Goss (AD)
12.25am Sign Zone: Rehab — Addicted Lives
Cameras explore a residential rehabilitation centre in
Somerset (r) (AD, SL) 1.45 Civilisations. Mary Beard
explores the links between art and religion (r) (AD, SL)
2.45 The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American
Crime Story (4/9) (r) (AD, SL) 3.35-6.00 BBC News
12.50am Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to
participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of
their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively
chat from the presenting team 3.00 Take on the Twisters.
Quiz show presented by Julia Bradbury (r) 3.50-6.00
ITV Nightscreen. Text-based information service
10.00 Lee and Dean Lee broods over the
fact that Dean is dating Mrs Bryce
D’Souza, thus breaking the
unwritten rule (2/5) (AD)
10.00 Will & Grace Jack is unhappy that
Will has rekindled his relationship with
his ex-boyfriend Michael, while Grace
is forced to fight for Karen’s rights
10.35 8 Out of 10 Cats Aisling Bea is
joined by Rizzle Kicks’ Jordan Stephens
and the comedian Desiree Burch, while
Rob Beckett teams up with Loose
Women panellist Ayda Field and the
comic Dane Baptiste (8/11) (r)
10.35 Greatest Ever Celebrity Wind Ups
Joe Pasquale narrates more pranks,
including Caroline Flack’s terrifying
driverless car journey, courtesy of Olly
Murs, and Ant and Dec catch out the
chat show host Jeremy Kyle with what
might possibly be the oddest guest
he has ever encountered (4/6) (r)
11.35 Lip Sync Battle UK: Joey Essex vs
Louie Spence Hosted by Melanie
Brown and Professor Green (3/4)
11.20 Rob Beckett’s Playing for Time
Asim Chaudhry plays video games
from the late 1990s (2/4) (AD)
11.50 Rude Tube Alex Zane features
more internet clips (8/10) (r)
12.45am FILM: Lawless (18, 2012) Three brothers
run a Depression-era bootlegging operation. Crime drama
starring Shia LaBeouf and Tom Hardy (AD) 2.45 Kiss Me
First (r) (AD, SL) 3.40 Electric Dreams: Kill All Others (r)
(AD, SL) 4.35 The Question Jury (r) 5.30 Streetmate (r)
5.55-6.15 Kirstie’s Fill Your House for Free (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am GPs: Behind Closed Doors.
An insight into the work of doctors at Farnham Road
Surgery in Slough, Berkshire (r) (AD) 4.45 House Doctor.
Dr Tom Pelly sees woman patient suffering withdrawal
symptoms from tramadol (r) (SL) 5.10 Great Scientists
(r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Friday April 6 2018
17
1G T
television & radio
BBC Young
Musician 2018
BBC Four, 7.30pm
Celebrating its 40th
anniversary, the BBC
Young Musician — the
thinking man’s X Factor
— has an enviable
reputation for finding
outstanding talent, and
the first in the 2018
category finals features
five teenage string
virtuosos. As well as
showing them
performing at the
Royal Birmingham
Conservatoire’s new
concert hall, the
programme will take
viewers behind the
scenes to find out
what it takes to
compete at this level.
The competition will
continue weekly,
covering strings,
percussion, woodwind,
brass and keyboard.
Have I Got
News for You
BBC One, 9.30pm
Guests in the first of a
new run are the young
comedian Josh
Widdicombe and the
BBC Breakfast
presenter Steph
McGovern. Being a
straight-talking
working-class type, the
latter recently told
The Sunday Times that
the pay inequality at
the BBC was down to a
gender gap and a class
gap. Step forward,
tonight’s Oxbridgeeducated male host,
Jeremy Paxman, and
after 54 series it’s
slightly amazing that
this will be Paxo’s first
go at taking on the
slings and arrows of
the outrageous satirists
Ian Hislop and Paul
Merton. Should be fun.
Front Row Late
BBC Two, 11.05pm
A year after the first
series of the arts
discussion show, out
goes Giles Coren as
host — “The arts (and
especially theatre)
world will be wearing
black armbands,” he
joked — and in comes
Mary Beard. And the
show will go out live
and dangerous. Beard
is excited. “I think I
can promise it will be
edgy, from the heart
and from the head!”
Late-night live TV has
often been enlivened
by unforeseen events,
although the days of
Oliver Reed clambering
about are long gone.
Beard claims her
cultural tastes are high
and low, so maybe she’s
a fan of Love Island and
Wonder Woman.
Sport Choice
Sky Main Event/Golf, 7pm
It’s day two of the
Masters, and tuning
into the measured
drama at Augusta will
be perfect wind-down
viewing on a Friday
night. Given the hype,
one hopes Tiger Woods
won’t disappoint us,
and himself, by failing
to be around for the
weekend’s drama.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Supergirl (r) 8.00 Futurama (r) 8.30
Modern Family (r) 9.30 The Simpsons (r)
11.00 Warehouse 13 (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00
NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1.
Sci-fi drama (r) 5.00 The Simpsons (r)
6.00 Futurama. Bender testifies against
the head of the robot mafia (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Back-to-back episodes (r)
8.30 Modern Family. Mitchell gets a great
new job, so he and Cam throw a party
9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life.
Karl considers the point of art (1/6) (r) (AD)
10.00 The Late Late Show with James Corden:
Best of the Week. Highlights of the show (r)
11.00 A League of Their Own. James Corden
hosts the sports quiz (r) (AD)
12.00 Football’s Funniest Moments (r) (AD)
1.00am In the Long Run (r) 1.30 Brit Cops:
War on Crime (r) 2.20 Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.10
Warehouse 13 (r) 4.00 The Real A&E
(r) (AD) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r)
6.00am Fish Town (r) 7.00 The Guest Wing (r)
(AD) 8.00 Storm City (r) (AD) 9.00 The West
Wing (r) 11.00 House (r) 1.00pm Without
a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00
The West Wing (r) 5.00 House (r) (AD)
6.00 House. The anti-social doctor and
his team treat a drug dealer (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
A real-estate entrepreneur is poisoned (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Jamie and Eddie ask Erin to
drop the charges against a local hero (r)
9.00 Game of Thrones. Tyrion is sent to greet a
royal party from Dorne, Jon Snow finds himself
on trial at Castle Black, and Daenerys heads
to the slave city of Meereen (r) (AD)
10.15 Game of Thrones. The day of King
Joffrey’s wedding to Margaery Tyrell arrives, and
Melisandre oversees a sacrifice (r) (AD)
11.30 Game of Thrones. Dontos spirits
Sansa out of King’s Landing (r) (AD)
12.45am The Sopranos (r) 2.50 Crashing
(r) (AD) 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Motorway Patrol (r) 7.00 Highway
Patrol (r) (AD) 7.30 Border Patrol (r) (AD) 8.00
UK Border Force (r) 9.00 Elementary (r) 10.00
Cold Case (r) 11.00 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
1.00pm Air Rescue (r) 2.00 Customs UK (r)
3.00 Nothing to Declare (r) 5.00 Border
Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00 Air Rescue. A dangerous rescue (r)
7.00 The Real A&E. A man is admitted after
shooting himself in the back (7/10) (r) (AD)
8.00 America’s Next Top Model.
Reality contest hosted by Tyra Banks
9.00 Conviction. The team revisits the case
that brought them together (r) (AD)
10.00 Nashville. Avery voices his opinion, while
Deacon and Jessie’s relationship deepens
11.00 Criminal Minds. A stalker follows
a woman across the country (r)
12.00 Britain’s Most Evil Killers (r) 1.00am
Cold Case (r) 2.00 Blindspot (r) 3.00 Criminal
Minds (r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
5.00 Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00am Sounds of the Dolomites 7.00 2Cellos
at Sydney Opera House 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 9.30 Landscape Artist of the
Year 2015 10.30 Video Killed the Radio Star
11.00 Trailblazers: Disco (AD) 12.00 The Sixties
(AD) 1.00pm Discovering: Telly Savalas (AD)
2.00 Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.30
Landscape Artist of the Year 2015 3.30 Video
Killed the Radio Star 4.00 Trailblazers: Glam
Rock 5.00 The Sixties (AD) 6.00 Discovering:
Leslie Howard (AD) 7.00 Johnny Cash: Song by
Song (AD)7.30 Dolly Parton: Song by Song (AD)
8.00 Video Killed the Radio Star (AD)
8.30 Discovering: REM. The career of the band
9.00 The Nineties. Memorable TV shows
10.00 Blur/Oasis: The Britpop Years 11.15
Brian Johnson’s A Life on the Road (AD)
12.15am The Who: Sensation — The Story of
Tommy 1.30 Liam Gallagher: Live in New York
2.45 Video Killed the Radio Star (AD) 3.15
Oasis Live at Barrowlands 4.30 Tales of
the Unexpected (AD) 5.00 Auction (AD)
6.00am Live HSBC Sevens World Series. The
Hong Kong Sevens. Coverage of the first day of
the seventh round of the season, which takes
place at Hong Kong Stadium 9.00 The Masters
12.00 Live Formula 1. The Bahrain Grand Prix
first practice session 1.45pm Paddock Uncut
2.00 Football Centre 3.30 Bottas in Finland
3.45 Live Formula 1. The Bahrain Grand Prix
second practice session 5.45 PL Greatest Games
6.00 Derby Day 2 Countdown. Featuring
a look ahead to Everton v Liverpool and
Manchester City v Manchester United
7.00 Live The Masters. Coverage of the second
day of the year’s first Major from the Augusta
National in Georgia, where Sergio Garcia won
the green jacket last year. See Viewing Guide
12.30am Masters: The Last Nine on Sunday
1.30 Betfred Super League Highlights 1.45
Rugby Greatest Games 1.50 Live HSBC Sevens
World Series. The Hong Kong Sevens. Coverage
of the second day of the seventh round of the
season, which takes place at Hong Kong Stadium
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 6.55pm-7.00
Party Political Broadcast. By the
Social Democratic and Labour Party
Get the best writing on big books
and big ideas, across all platfor ms.
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BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 6.45pm Escape to the
Country. A couple from London hope to make
their first joint property purchase in Cornwall
(r) 7.30 Live Ulster Rugby: Edinburgh v Ulster
(Kick-off 7.35). Stephen Watson presents
coverage of the match from the 19th round
of PRO14 fixtures, which takes place at
Murrayfield 9.30-10.30 The City & the City.
New series. A woman’s body is found at Bulkya
Docks, and Inspector Borlu is surprised by the
similarities to an old case that still haunts him.
Detective thriller, starring David Morrissey. See
Viewing Guide (AD) 11.05 Episodes. The video
of Matt’s escapade with the girl in the box goes
viral (AD) 11.35 Front Row Late. New series.
Mary Beard and guests discuss Damien Hirst’s
latest show at Houghton Hall and Stephen
Daldry’s play The Inheritance. See Viewing
Guide 12.05am-12.25 BBC News
BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 5.15pm-5.45 Wales
Football: The Women in Red. Behind the scenes
with the Wales Women football squad (r)
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Velindre:
Hospital of Hope. Patients Carol and Michael
deal with the effects of their different cancers
To subscribe visit tlssubs.imbmsubs.com/SUB6000 or call 01293 312178 and quote code SUB6000
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm World News Today; Weather
7.30 BBC Young Musician 2018. New series.
At the Royal Birmingham Conservatoire’s brand
new concert hall, Josie d’Arby is joined by Alison
Balsom to review the five strings finalists
of this year’s contest. See Viewing Guide
9.00 Forever Young: How Rock ’n’ Roll Grew Up.
Documentary exploring how rock ’n’ roll stars
have coped with growing old after being symbols
of rebellion, with contributions by Iggy Pop,
Lemmy, Rick Wakeman and Suggs (r) (AD)
10.00 Billy Fury: The Sound of Fury. How
showbiz impresario Larry Parnes discovered
Liverpool-born Ronnie Wycherley, redubbed him
Billy Fury, and allowed him to help engender
the birth of popular music in Britain (r)
11.30 It’s Only Rock ’n’ Roll: Rock ’n’ Roll at the
BBC. A compilation of artists and songs in
celebration of rock ’n’ roll, with performances by
Jerry Lee Lewis, Dion, Dick Dale, Neil Sedaka,
Tom Petty, Oasis and Joan Jett (r)
12.30am Guitar Heroes on Later with Jools
Holland. Featuring Eric Clapton (r) 1.30 Forever
Young: How Rock ’n’ Roll Grew Up (r) (AD)
2.30-3.55 Billy Fury: The Sound of Fury (r)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Rules of
Engagement (r) 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (r)
(AD) 9.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 10.00 2 Broke Girls
(r) (AD) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD)
12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 3.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 4.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs
(r) (AD) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Ste and Leela clash over the
best way to take care of Tegan (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers (r)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: The Watch (15, 2012)
A supermarket manager forms a neighbourhood
watch group to patrol his community, but
stumbles on an alien invasion. Sci-fi comedy
starring Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn (AD)
11.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.55 First Dates (r) (AD) 1.00am Tattoo
Fixers (r) (SL) 2.05 Gogglebox (r) 3.00 Rude
Tube (r) 4.15 Rules of Engagement (r)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r)
11.05 Four in a Bed (r) 1.55pm Come Dine with
Me (r) 3.55 Live Formula 1 Bahrain Grand Prix
Practice 2. Tom Clarkson presents further
coverage from the second round of the season in
Sakhir 5.35 Car SOS. A 1964 Volvo P1800 (r)
6.40 Jamie’s Comfort Food. Jamie Oliver
cooks a steak and onion sandwich (r)
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo. A new female
chimp arrives at Chester Zoo (r) (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. A Kent couple hope to
convert a concrete water tower in their back
garden into a dream home (4/6) (r) (AD)
9.00 Rough Justice. A trainee nurse is found
dead in the mortuary, with her face hastily
covered in clown make-up and a mark from an
injection on her neck. In Flemish
10.00 24 Hours in A&E. A 22-year-old is
rushed in with stab wounds (4/8) (r) (AD)
11.05 24 Hours in A&E. The team treats
patients who have injured themselves
through work or play (5/8) (r) (AD)
12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
From southern California (r) 1.10 24 Hours in
A&E (r) (AD) 3.15-3.55 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am The Boxtrolls (PG, 2014)
Stop-motion animated fantasy with the voice
of Isaac Hempstead Wright 12.50pm The
Rugrats in Paris: The Movie (U, 2000)
Animated adventure with the voice of Christine
Cavanaugh 2.25 Hotel for Dogs (U, 2009)
Family comedy starring Emma Roberts
4.30 The Princess Diaries (U, 2001) Family
comedy starring Anne Hathaway (AD)
6.45 Back to the Future (PG, 1985)
A teenager travels back in time and gets stuck in
the 1950s — where he has to make sure his
parents fall in love. Sci-fi comedy adventure
starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd
9.00 Four Weddings and a Funeral (15,
1994) A man’s misfortunes in love look set to
change when he meets an American beauty at
a wedding. Richard Curtis’s romantic comedy
starring Hugh Grant and Andie MacDowell (AD)
11.20 Bullet to the Head (15, 2012) A
hitman and a police detective join forces to seek
revenge on the man who murdered both their
partners. Action thriller with Sylvester Stallone
1.05am-3.15 Machete (18, 2010) Action
thriller starring Danny Trejo and Robert De Niro
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals (r) 6.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.05
Who’s Doing the Dishes? (r) 7.55 Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 8.50 Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records (r) 9.05 The Ellen DeGeneres Show (r)
9.55 FILM: Around the World in 80 Days
(PG, 2004) Comedy adventure starring Steve
Coogan 12.15pm Emmerdale (r) (AD) 1.15
You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 1.45 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show (r) 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show
(r) 4.50 Judge Rinder (r) 5.50 Take Me Out (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 FILM: American Pie (15, 1999) Four
teenage boys make a pact to lose their virginity
before the high-school prom, but cause huge
embarrassment in the process. Coming-of-age
comedy starring Jason Biggs (AD)
11.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 Family Guy (r) (AD) 11.55 American Dad!
(r) (AD) 12.25am American Dad! (r) (AD)
12.55 Two and a Half Men (r) 1.50 Totally
Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 2.20
Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.50
Heartbeat (r) 7.55 The Royal (r) (AD) 9.00
Judge Judy (r) 10.20 Inspector Morse (r)
12.35pm The Royal (r) (AD) 1.35 Heartbeat (r)
2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r) 3.45 Judge
Judy (r) 4.10 FILM: Carry On Henry (PG,
1971) Comedy starring Sid James, Kenneth
Williams and Joan Sims (AD) 5.55 Heartbeat (r)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. A killer stalks a college
campus. Angela Lansbury stars (r) (AD)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple. A blizzard forces
the sleuth to spend a night in an isolated manor
house and a Ouija board predicts a murder (r)
10.00 The Syndicate. Drama about a group of
lottery winners starring Timothy Spall (1/5) (r)
11.05 Killer Women with Piers Morgan. The
broadcaster meets a Florida woman convicted
for her part in the murder of a man (r) (AD)
12.10am Rising Damp Forever (r) 2.05 FILM:
Rising Damp (PG, 1980) Comedy based on
the 1970s sitcom starring Leonard Rossiter and
Frances de la Tour 3.45 Million Dollar Princesses
(r) 4.35 Murder, She Wrote (r) (AD) 5.25
Judge Judy (r) 5.50 ITV3 Nightscreen
6.00am The Chase (r) 6.50 Pawn Stars (r) 7.30
Ironside (r) (AD) 8.30 Quincy ME (r) 9.35
Minder (r) (AD) 10.35 The Saint (r) 11.40
The Avengers (r) 12.50pm Ironside (r)
1.50 Quincy ME (r) 2.55 Minder (r) (AD) 3.55
The Saint (r) 5.00 The Avengers (r)
6.05 Storage Wars: Best of the Appraisals (r)
6.30 Storage Wars: Texas. From Texarkana (r)
7.00 Pawn Stars. A rare gun (r)
7.30 Pawn Stars. The guys are offered
a dollar bill signed by Clark Gable (r)
8.00 The Motorbike Show. Henry Cole tours
Majorca on a classic bike (r)
9.00 Car Crash Britain: Caught on Camera.
A woman who got more than she bargained
for crossing the road (4/4) (r)
10.00 FILM: First Blood (15, 1982)
A Vietnam veteran escapes unjust imprisonment
and flees into the wilderness, where he fights
the law on his own terms. Action thriller with
Sylvester Stallone and Brian Dennehy (AD)
12.05am The Americans (r) 1.05 Minder (r)
(AD, SL) 2.05 Fifth Gear (r) 2.50 ITV4
Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.00 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve
Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear.
Making a spacecraft out of a Reliant Robin (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. Usain Bolt is the Star
in a Reasonably Priced Car (AD)
7.00 QI XL. With panellists Sandi Toksvig,
Alan Davies, Aisling Bea and Susan Calman
8.00 Into the Fire. The work of the firefighters
of West Midlands Fire Service (1/9) (r)
9.00 Fawlty Towers. Basil tries to stop an
unmarried couple lowering moral standards (AD)
9.50 Fawlty Towers. Hotel inspectors throw
Basil into a panic. Bernard Cribbins guests (AD)
10.30 Fawlty Towers. A party of German guests
comes to stay. John Cleese stars (AD)
11.15 QI. With Alan Davies, Rich Hall,
Josie Lawrence and John Sessions
11.55 QI. With Phil Kay, Alan Davies,
John Sessions and Clive Anderson
12.35am Mock the Week 1.15 QI 2.35 Mock
the Week 3.15 Suits (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning (AD)
9.00 Casualty (AD) 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The
Bill 12.00 Hetty Wainthropp Investigates
1.00pm Last of the Summer Wine 1.40
Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 Last of the Summer Wine 3.00
London’s Burning (AD) 4.00 You Rang, M’Lord?
5.00 Hetty Wainthropp Investigates
6.00 Hi-de-Hi! Fred is haunted by his past
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Tom and Smiler
are sent on a mission to collect a new vehicle
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Eric Sykes
guest stars as absent-minded Doggy
8.00 Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries. Phryne
unexpectedly finds herself at a crime scene
9.00 WPC 56. Sergeant Fenton discovers a local
forger making a fake passport for Lenny Powell.
Charlie De’Ath stars (5/5) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. The murder of a fashion
designer is reinvestigated (6/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Tracey invites an old
friend to stay, leaving Sharon out in the cold
12.00 The Bill. Proctor undermines Holmes
1.00am London’s Burning (AD) 2.10 Call
the Midwife (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Scotland’s Murder
Mysteries 11.00 World War Weird 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Great Barrier Reef with David
Attenborough 2.00 Attenborough’s Living
Lights (AD) 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 Scotland’s
Murder Mysteries 5.00 World War Weird
6.00 Hitler’s Space Rocket. Docudrama about
rocket scientist Wernher von Braun
7.00 Graham Hill: Driven. An intimate portrait
of motor racing star Graham Hill (AD)
8.00 Operation Grand Canyon with Dan Snow.
The historian joins a team recreating a
pioneering 280-mile expedition through
the natural wonder (1/2) (AD)
9.00 Steptoe and Son. Christmas special
from 1973. Harold throws a festive party
10.00 Steptoe and Son. Christmas special from
1974. Harold plans to spend Christmas abroad
11.00 Scotland’s Murder Mysteries. The 1862
case of serving girl Jessie McLachlan
12.00 World War Weird 1.00am Auschwitz:
The Nazis and the Final Solution 2.00
Sounds of the Sixties 3.00 Home Shopping
STV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Peter &
Roughie’s Friday Football Show. Peter Martin
and Alan Rough round up the latest Scottish
Premiership action and preview the coming
weekend’s football 12.50am Teleshopping
1.50 After Midnight 3.20 Tenable (r)
4.10 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
UTV
As ITV except: 6.25pm-6.30 Party Political
Broadcast. By the Social Democratic and Labour
Party 8.00-8.30 UTV Life. An eclectic mix
of stories and studio guests 12.50am
Teleshopping 2.20-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Pàdraig Post: SDS (Postman Pat: SDS)
5.15 Zack & Quack (r) 5.35 Charlie is Lola
(Charlie and Lola) (r) 5.50 Seonaidh (Shaun the
Sheep) (r) 5.55 Alvinnn agus na Chipmunks (r)
6.10 Fior Bhall-coise (Extreme Football) (r)
6.35 Machair (r) 7.00 An Là (News) 7.25 Live
PRO14 Rugby Union 9.30 Dealbhan Fraoich (r)
10.00 Ceòl Eithne Ní Uallacháin (r)
11.00-12.30am Custer’s Last Stand (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen (r)
6.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty Mel (r)
7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach
(r) 7.30 Nico Nôg (r) 7.40 Digbi Draig (r) 7.50
Twm Tisian (r) 8.00 Cymylaubychain (r) 8.10
Oli Wyn 8.20 Crads Bach y Traeth (r) 8.25 Cled
(r) 8.40 Marcaroni (r) 8.55 Bach a Mawr (r)
9.10 Stiw (r) 9.25 Yn yr Ardd (r) 9.35 Nodi (r)
9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul (r)
10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Meic y Marchog (r)
11.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach (r) 11.30 Nico Nôg (r)
11.40 Digbi Draig (r) 11.50 Twm Tisian (r)
12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Genod y
Carnifal (r) (AD) 12.30 Band Cymru 2018 (r)
1.30 Llys Nini (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Dei a Tom (r) 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Larfa (r) 5.05 Stwnsh:
Crwbanod Ninja (r) 5.30 Stwnsh: Gogs (r) 5.35
Stwnsh: Y Gemau Gwyllt (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 6.05 Cwpwrdd Dillad (r) 6.30 Celwydd
Noeth. Quiz show hosted by Nia Roberts (r)
7.00 Heno 7.30 Live Clwb Rygbi: Ospreys v
Connacht (Kick-off 7.35). Coverage of the
match from the 19th round of PRO14 fixtures,
which takes place at Liberty Stadium 9.35
Galw Nain Nain Nain. Margiad Dobson goes on
three dates 10.10 Y Stiwdio Gefn. With folk
group Adran D (r) 10.40-11.45 Parch.
Oskana has an unusual request (r) (AD)
18
Friday April 6 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3303
5
6
7
8
5
12
15
18
9
10
13
14
5
15
5
20
3
17
11
12
25
13
14
15
16
12
20
5
9
15
20
17
18
Train Tracks No 375
16
24
10
20
26
22
14
10
24
20
14
5
12
12
17
5
17
20
13
22
7
4
5
12
24
17
6
20
9
16
22
18
6
16
19
12
11
16
18
21
5
26
15
© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7619
24
5
1
7
3
3
1
3
3
5
5
2
4
13
2
12
4
16
4
17
13
18
19
5
10
20
19
22
9
20
21
1
13
12
18
13
5
7
A
12
Y
21
21
22
8
21
7
4
21
1
S
23
2
20
17
18
12
22
10
17
7
13
12
21
17
B
T
13
24
16
16
18
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
25
17
Across
1
3
9
10
11
12
14
16
12
Waterside plant (4)
Abolished, cancelled (8)
Japanese assassin/spy (5)
Dressed (in) (7)
Smoothing clothes (7)
Feel dejected (4)
Frame under a dress (6)
Run naked in public (6)
Solution to Crossword 7618
S
H I G
X
E T E
E
HE L
N
O
D I S
E A
SUN
S
T
AMA
S
L Y
C
NA
M
CO
R
NE
O
V
K EN
N
RAN
H
O
R
R
I
F
I
C
POO
B
S T
L
U
S
P T E
H
XOR
R
NOT
U
GA
T H
N F
A
RU
N
P A
R
E
A B
C
H I
E
RD
U L
A
NG
G
T E
D
B
L E
A
NG
K
EN
T
18 Allied group of countries (4)
19 Weapon store (7)
22 Extremely large (7)
23 Harsh labour camp (5)
24 Very lucrative post (8)
25 Small missile (4)
Down
1
2
4
5
6
Chinese currency (8)
Old Testament book (4,2,7)
Accuse; load, fill (6)
Try (7)
Miscellaneous
accessories (13)
7 Extinct bird (4)
8 Wise men (4)
13 Window in a roof (8)
15 Using few words (7)
17 Lifetime occupation (6)
20 Long heroic story (4)
21 Unfairly influence (4)
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
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24
22
7
5
12
12
9
23
16
22
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
T
S
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
Y
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
letters in the main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
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Lexica No 4209
O
E
D
I
C
V
Y
M
F
E
N
P
K
E
N
I
I
S
O
J
S
B
R
U
D
E
E
R
Y
S
R
T
R
A
G
Winners will receive a Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle and text in the numbers in the three
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KenKen Difficult No 4295
Futoshiki No 3145
Kakuro No 2104
3
23
∧
23
4
28
11
16
17
23
6
4
21
3
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
3
7
33
4
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
4
∨
∨
17
∧
4
4
3
42
8
28
>
4
∨
3
9
7
7
4
6
6
13
9
5
24
34
6
>
<
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
6
3
3
17
3
37
4
19
14
16
4
8
14
© PUZZLER MEDIA
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
6
the times | Friday April 6 2018
19
1G T
MindGames
I conclude my coverage of this
year’s Varsity Match with comments on the clash on the top
board, which was awarded the
best game prize.
White: David Martins
Black: Conor Murphy
Varsity Match, London 2018
Nimzo-Indian Defence
1 d4 Nf6 2 c4 e6 3 Nc3 Bb4 4
Qc2 0-0
This is a provocative line, as it
allows White early central domination.
5 e4 d5 6 e5 Ne4 7 a3 Bxc3+ 8
bxc3 c5 9 Bb2 cxd4 10 cxd4
Qa5+ 11 Ke2
It looks bizarre to expose the
king in this manner but this is a
well-established line. White’s compensation is that the black knight
is very short of squares and will
often have to be sacrificed.
11 ... Bd7 12 f3 Ba4 13 Qc1 Rc8
________
árhrD DkD]
à0pD Dp0p]
ß D DpD D]
Þ1 Dp) D ]
ÝbDP)nD D]
Ü) D DPD ]
Û G DKDP)]
Ú$ ! DBHR]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
14 Qe1
This is a blunder. 14 fxe4 is also
very bad on account of 14 ... Rxc4,
when ... Rc2+ follows. Best is the
remarkable 14 Ke3, uncovering a
defence of the white c-pawn by
the f1-bishop. After 14 Ke3 it is
hard for Black to fully justify the
inevitable piece sacrifice.
14 ... Qb6 15 Rb1 Rxc4
This lets White off the hook. 15
... Bc2! is winning as Black will
regain material while maintaining
a vicious attack. After 16 fxe4
dxc4, Black threatens 17 ... Bxb1
followed by ... c3.
16 Ke3 Rc2 17 Bd3 Nc6 18 Ba1
Qd8 19 Bxc2 Bxc2 20 fxe4 Qg5+
21 Kf2
White has survived the worst
and has a healthy material advantage.
21 ... Qf4+ 22 Nf3 dxe4 23 Rc1
A mistake. 23 Rxb7 exf3 24
Qe3 consolidates.
23 ... Bb3
Black’s last chance was 23 ...
exf3 24 Rxc2 fxg2+ 25 Kxg2 Qg4+,
when, despite the extra rook, it is
still difficult for White to tidy up
as he has to tread very carefully
to avoid perpetual check.
24 Qd2 Qf5 25 Qg5 exf3 26 Qxf5
exf5 27 gxf3 Bd5 28 Rb1 Ne7 29
h4 h5 30 Rbc1 Rc8 31 Rxc8+
Nxc8
The rook exchange terminates
any hope of resistance for Black.
32 Rc1 Nb6 33 Rc7 Kf8 34 Bc3
g6 35 Ba5 Ke8 36 Bxb6 axb6 37
e6 f6 38 Rg7 Bxe6 39 Rxb7 g5 40
Rxb6 Kd7 41 d5 Bxd5 42 Rxf6
Black resigns
All games and results from the
FIDE World Chess Candidates
tournament in Berlin can be
found via the 2seeitlive link on
the header of The Times Twitter
feed @times_chess. For regular
updates, direct to your Twitter
account, just click on the “follow”
button.
________
á 4bD 4kD] Winning Move
à0 D Dp0p]
ß 1NhpD D] White to play. This position is from
Batumi 2018.
ÞD D D D ] Nabaty-Abasov,
White can grab material with 1 Nxb8 Qxb8
ÝPDp)BD D] but then Black has a good position thanks
ÜD D D D ] to the passed pawns. White found
Û 0 DQ)P)] something much better. Can you see it?
ÚDRD I DR] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
EASY
26 x 3 + 6
MEDIUM
63 + 99 x 3 – 18
♠ A K J 10 3
♥10 9 7 4
♦5
♣K 8 7 ♠ 9 8 6 5 2
♠4
N
♥8 6 2
♥3
♦A K 6 3 2 W E ♦9 8 7 4
S
♣J 10 4 2
♣AQ 3
♠Q 7
♥A KQ J 5
♦Q J 10
♣9 6 5
The most important card played in
a deal of bridge is the first card.
Like the serve at tennis or the
drive at golf, it has a huge bearing
on the rest of proceedings. The
opening lead is a unique card too
— the only card played without a
sight of dummy.
S
W
N
E
Because a defender will have a
much better idea of what to do
1♥
Pass
4♥ (1)
End
after seeing dummy, the best lead (1) No need to introduce spades, as there is
is ace from an ace-king. You’ll a certain heart fit. North upgrades his 11
retain the lead, have a look at points because of the singleton.
dummy and have a good chance of
Contract: 4♥ , Opening Lead: ♦A
doing the right thing at trick two.
You could say the same about However, a look at dummy with no
leading an “unsupported ace” ie an more diamonds and very powerful
ace without the king. However, spades caused him to reassess.
there’s too big a cost, because you
The only chance for the defence
are setting up the king, probably lay in clubs. Hoping East held good
held by an opponent.
clubs, at trick two West switched to
Take this hand — on lead after ♣J (key play). Declarer was sunk. If
the auction 1♥-4♥.
he played low from dummy, ♣J
would win the trick, followed by
♠A K 8 2
♥7 3 2
♣2 to East’s ♣Q, then ♣A felling
♦Q 9 5 3 2
♣K. Declarer chose to cover ♣J
♣2
with dummy’s ♣K, forlornly
You should lead ♠A. You’ll have a hoping West held ♣A. It was not to
look at dummy and have good be: East beat ♣K with ♣A and
chance of finding the best play at swiftly cashed ♣Q then led over to
trick two. It may be ♠K; it may be West’s ♣10. Down one.
the singleton ♣2 — to void yourNote, if West switches to a low
self in hope of ruffing clubs; it may club, declarer succeeds by playing
be a diamond; it may even be a low from dummy. East wins ♣Q but
trump. Your ace from ace-king has cannot profitably continue clubs
kept all your options open.
without promoting dummy’s ♣K.
On our featured deal, West led
Finally, if West leads the
♦A, earning himself a free look at singleton ♠4, either at trick one or
dummy. Before he saw dummy, he two, declarer can make no fewer
expected to follow up at trick two than 12 tricks.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
either with ♦K or his singleton ♠4.
+ 1/2
OF IT
1/
2
2/
3
+8
– 98
+ 1/2
OF IT
OF IT
90%
OF IT
OF IT
+ 86
–9
SQUARE
IT
3/
4
+ 68
OF IT
+ 876 x 3 – 561
75%
OF IT
4
4
4
4
8
2
Polygon
3
9
5
3
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
3
Set Square No 2107
© PUZZLER MEDIA
From these letters, make words of four
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 10 words, average;
14, good; 22, very good; 30, excellent
x
Enter each of
+
+
= 22 the numbers
+
+
x
x
8
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
= 2 We’ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
sum should be
= 16 calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
+
-
Yesterday’s answers
agar, dang, drag, drug, dung, gaud,
gaur, grad, gran, grand, guan, guar,
guard, guava, gurn, naga, raga, rung,
vang, vanguard
-
+
+
=
24
3
=
75
=
8
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Killer Moderate No 5946
15
7
9
10
30
11min
15
17
7
7
8
9
20
10
Solutions
Quick Cryptic 1063
8
20
20
7
9
TW
R
A R
N
SM
E
P I
T
E E
N
X
T I C L
R
I
A R T Y
I
A Z Z A
U
E
CON S
T
K
F
E R I C A
O N
E
L A NC E L
9
12
4
14
16
16
6
4
13
10
8
10
16
5
17
7
5
2
8
3
6
9
1
4
3
4
1
9
2
7
6
5
8
8
9
6
4
5
1
7
3
2
6
2
5
3
9
4
8
7
1
4
8
7
6
1
5
2
9
3
P E A
M
I EW
R
T S
O
E ND
14
34
56min
13
21
21
5
1
8
2
7
3
4
6
9
2
6
3
5
4
9
1
8
7
9
7
4
1
6
8
3
2
5
18
25
4
24
21
3
8
x
28
8
22
8
17
-
T R
E
S H
E
T A
R
R S
A
B L
T
5
+
9
-
÷
7
x
÷
1
x
2
+
9
2
7
5
4
3
6
8
1
1
6
3
7
8
2
9
4
5
4
5
8
6
1
9
2
7
3
6
4
2
3
5
1
7
9
8
3
9
5
8
6
7
1
2
4
7
8
1
9
2
4
5
3
6
2
3
6
4
7
5
8
1
9
5
7
9
1
3
8
4
6
2
8
1
4
2
9
6
3
5
7
9
8
4
7
1
5
6
3
2
5
6
2
8
9
3
1
7
4
1
3
7
2
4
6
9
5
8
6
4
9
5
3
2
7
8
1
7
2
3
9
8
1
4
6
5
8
5
1
6
7
4
3
2
9
3
9
6
4
5
8
2
1
7
4
1
5
3
2
7
8
9
6
2
7
8
1
6
9
5
4
3
7
18
14
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
6
4
9
2
7
8
1
5
3
7
3
2
1
6
5
4
8
9
1
8
5
4
9
3
2
7
6
8
7
6
9
3
2
5
1
4
9
5
1
7
4
6
3
2
8
4
2
3
8
5
1
9
6
7
2
9
8
6
1
4
7
3
5
5
1
7
3
8
9
6
4
2
3
6
4
5
2
7
8
9
1
1
5
3
4
6
7
2
9
8
9
6
2
8
3
5
1
7
4
6
4
9
1
2
8
7
3
5
8
3
1
7
5
9
6
4
2
2
7
5
6
4
3
9
8
1
3
9
6
5
1
4
8
2
7
5
1
8
3
7
2
4
6
9
4
2
7
9
8
6
5
1
3
U L P T
O U
GBOX
E
DD E D
E
O
I C
R
H
Z E RO
E W
I L L
N
E
GGE D
6
2
9 8
7 9
4
7
3 5
1 4 3
2 1
8 3
6 1 5
9
2
7 9 6
9 7 5 8
6 8
7 9
8 9
6 8
7 9
9 8
1
2 3
3
1 5
1
1 3
5 2
4
5 1
1 2
5 2 3
4
1 3
3 9
2 4 3
2 1
3 1
1 6
Train Tracks 374
1
Quintagram
1 Core
2 Hyena
3 Muddle
4 Arduous
5 Mumbo
jumbo
6
2
3
5
2
4
4
2
5
6
5
A
3
1
-
4
x
4
3
1
B
A
L
E
D
T
S
U
T
E
A
C
F
T
E
3 < 4 < 5
1
4
∨
1
5
2
2
2 < 3
4
1 < 4
5
KenKen 4294
Y
U
G
A
L
U
1
2
2
4 2
5
4
3
2 2
6 3
4
R
U
L
T
M
1
∧
3
5 > 3
O
S
Suko 2204
2
3
∧
4
A
E
C
N
Futoshiki 3144
5
E
K
U
O
N
O
T
S
Cell Blocks 3185
Lexica 4208
U
Brain Trainer
Easy: 64
Medium: 812
Harder: 5,499
4
6
2
Word watch
Woke (a) Alert to
political and
social injustice
Cisgendered (c)
Having a gender
identity which
corresponds to
assigned birth
gender
Gaslight (b) To
manipulate
someone into
doubting their
sanity (after the
play and film)
Chess
Killer 5945
7
8
4
2
9
1
3
5
6
S C
O
ON
V
R E
R
L G
E
E
I
E D
E
J A
B
Killer 5944
19
6
x
B
Sudoku 9780
27
K
Lexica 4207
Killer Deadly No 5947
27
UN P AC
N
E
O
F AN
S
O
S
Y
L O I N
D O A
NOS
S
E
S
P E R V E
A
M
SQUAB
M R
L
SONN E
C
A
R
I N E D
O
I
AMON
A
A
I DO L
Sudoku 9779
12
K
I
S
S
Set Square 2106
1
3
9
7
8
2
5
4
6
Kakuro 2103
Codeword 3302
EWS
X
A
V
E
M
I
P A N
T
G
AG
S
R
T R A
U
C
DR E
I
O T
Sudoku 9778
17
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
OF IT
+ 18
+ 67 x 3 + 981
16 SQUARE
IT
HARDER
Bridge Andrew Robson
Beginner Corner 50
The best opening lead (v trumps):
ace from ace-king
1/
4
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Oxford versus Cambridge
Cell Blocks No 3186
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1 Bxh7+! is decisive
as 1 ... Kxh7 2 Qh5+
Kg8 3 Ne7 is mate.
Black limped on
with 1 ... Kh8 but
after 2 Qh5 g6 3
Bxg6+ Kg7 4
Qh7+ Kf6 5 Be4,
White won easily
Quiz
1 Hirohito of Japan 2 Ozzy Osbourne 3 Joey
4 David Brent 5 Nelson Mandela 6 Hawaii
7 Isle of Man 8 Morrisons 9 Givenchy 10 Sikhism
11 John Stuart Mill 12 St Edwin of Northumbria
13 Wing chun 14 Afghanistan 15 Richard Dawkins
06.04.18
MindGames
Mild No 9781
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
Woke
a Politically aware
b To be deceived
c Part of a castle
Cisgendered
a Taking sides
b Using wheels
c Keeping a birth gender
Gaslight
a To stay out late
b To manipulate
c To steal an idea
Answers on page 19
Difficult No 9782
4 3 2 7
4
6
3 1
9
8
3
1 5
7
2
5
1
9 3
5
9
6
1 4
8
4 3 1 9
2
7
3
5
8
4
8 9
4
5
9
8
6 2
3
1
7 8 2
2
Suko No 2204
RICHARD POHLE FOR THE TIMES
11 The first manuscript
of Thomas Carlyle’s
The French Revolution
was burned while in
the possession of
which philosopher?
1 Which emperor denied
his divinity with the
Humanity Declaration
or Ningen-sengen on
January 1, 1946?
2 In 1968, Tony Iommi,
Geezer Butler, Bill Ward
and which singer formed
the band Black Sabbath?
3 The title equine in the
play War Horse shares
his name with which
Friends TV character?
4 Ricky Gervais revived
which character for a
2016 mockumentary
film subtitled Life on
the Road?
5 Which Nobel peace
prize winner was buried
in his home village of
Qunu in December 2013?
12 Which king of
Northumbria died
fighting a GwyneddMercian alliance at the
Battle of Hatfield Chase?
15
6 The muumuu is a loose
dress that originated in
which US state?
7 Usually celebrated
on July 5, Tynwald
Day or Laa Tinvaal is
the national day of
which island?
stall in Rawson
Market, Bradford?
9 In 2003, Ozwald
Boateng was appointed
creative director for
menswear for which
French fashion house?
10 The Anand Karaj
(“blissful union”) is the
marriage ceremony in
which religion?
8 Which supermarket
chain began in 1899
as an egg and butter
13 The name of which
Chinese martial art
means “spring chant”?
14 The USA boycotted
the 1980 Moscow
Olympics in protest at
the USSR’s invasion of
which country?
15 Which evolutionary
biologist is pictured?
Answers on page 19
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1064 by Joker
1
2
3
4
5
6
12
13
14
17
18
7
8
9
10
11
15
16
19
20
21
23
24
25
22
Across
3 Paper ties tear badly (8)
7 Approached artist for
something to make a picture
with (6)
8 Conservative pamphlet’s
become shorter (8)
9 Island nation bans a whisky (4)
10 Structural rod is not quite level
(3)
11 Show daughter is nearby (8)
13 Vagrant’s lost millions in trick
(4)
15 Partly swollen stye in part of
the eye (4)
17 Angled to include home that’s
completed (8)
19 Fool’s not left with girl? (3)
22 Further a London orchestra
(4)
23 Initially moved a boring plant
with long-lived orange flower
(8)
24 Large mass of party rejected
number of votes cast (6)
25 Witches struggle in a city (8)
4
1 6
6
8
9
4 2 8
7
2
6 9
5
3
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
9
4 8
2
6
Fiendish No 9783
3
2 1
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
Down
1 Hanger-on in airborne
soldiers’ base? (8)
2 Man in charge around court is
frantically active (6)
3 Audibly changed direction in
diplomatic understanding (4)
4 Genius that is returning
playing tennis (8)
5 Object sailor has to receive (6)
6 Bag a quick bite to eat, but not
beginning to nibble (4)
12 Unsatisfactory film
development on the side (8)
14 Great dislike of a particular
interpretation (8)
16 Like the oceans seal’s
swimming around in (6)
18 Means of securing unravelling
pleats (6)
20 Milk pudding son wants earlier
(4)
21 Whirl round headless toy bear
(4)
Yesterday’s solution on page 19
6
1 3
4
6
7 3 8
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