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The Times Times 2 - 12 January 2018

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January 12 | 2018
The real
Crown
Exclusive
The film-maker
who finally got
the Queen to tell
the story of her
Coronation
2
1G T
Friday January 12 2018 | the times
times2
Poor people get addicted to booze,
fags, and smoking spice; Monique is
clearly addicted to buying houses.
She’s not just a “social purchaser”,
splashing out on a beach-hut, at
parties, when drunk. No, she wakes
up and immediately puts an offer on
a luxury chalet in Verbier. So it’s
important to note, from a legal point
of view, that a lot of these houses are
for personal use only. This should be
taken into account when sentencing.
Caitlin
Moran
Celebrity Watch
9
UP
Donald Trump
10
DOWN
Aladdin
Welcome to this week’s Celebrity
Watch, brought to you with a bright
determination to find January just as
much fun as Dec . . . no. CW has got
nothing — but at least it has a whole
cold, broke, wet and dispiriting
month in which to try to think of
something. That’s the good side
of January. It gives you lots of time
to discover its positive aspects. It
doesn’t rush you with pleasant
diversions. No sirree.
And so we kick off this week’s
shenanigans with the news that the
shooting of Disney’s live-action
remake of Aladdin has been marred
by claims that the company applied
“brownface” to white cast members
to make them look suitably Arabic.
The extra Kaushal Odedra says
that he saw “about twenty” other
actors being made up to look
Arabian. “Aladdin was the perfect
time to show diversity, but also be
accurate,” he said.
A Disney spokesman told the BBC:
“Great care was taken to put together
one of the largest and most diverse
casts ever seen on a screen. Only in a
handful of instances when it was
a matter of specialty skills,
safety and control — stunt
performers and handling of
animals — were crew made
up to blend in.”
At first CW was confused
as to why Disney had found
it so difficult to find
Arabic stunt performers
and animal-handlers,
given that the Arabic
population of the
world is 300 million.
Then it discovered
that the film was being
made in Brentwood.
Yes. It probably would
be difficult to find a
world-class Arabic
camel-handler in
Brentwood. Particularly
one with an Equity card.
If only there were some
way around the
problem. If only there
were some place where
you could find more
Arabs! Maybe one day
someone will come up
with a solution for this.
CW’s going to do something contrary
to its usual nature: defend Donald
Trump. The scorn that has been
poured on him for being filmed
struggling with the national anthem
— not knowing the words and
mouthing “bah, bah” — is
unfair. No one knows
the lyrics to The StarSpangled Banner.
It starts off
strong with “Oh
say can you see”
— everyone
shouts that bit —
but after that?
The second verse
starts, “On the
shore, dimly seen
through the mists of
the deep/ where the
foe’s haughty host in
dread silence reposes.” It’s
basically bad emo poetry. A president
shouldn’t have to sing that. It would
make other world leaders laugh at him.
8
UP
Monique
Hollinger
CW’s obsession with the slot in
Hello! where people with
unfathomable wealth “open
up” their “gracious” houses
— it’s seemingly deliberately
conceived under the project
title “make the peasants feel
unhappy about their shitty
little kitchens” — went
up a notch this week.
Introducing us to the
millionaire interior
designer Monique
Hollinger, Hello!
simply stepped aside
and
a let Monique
herself tell us about
her
h portfolio of more
than
1,500 properties.
t
“Aside from this,”
she said of her Swiss
mountain chalet,
“we
“ have our house in
St
S Tropez. We’re also
constructing a new
chalet in Gstaad, which
is
i going to be twice the
size of this one. And in
Zurich we have two
houses
planned on the
h
shore
of the lake.”
sh
4
DOWN
Powerclown
ow
wn
Headline of the week was, undoubtedly,
“Clown-themed Iron Maiden tribute
band singer arrested after $7 million
drugs bust”, with which the NME
served the double-whammy of telling
us that a) the tribute band’s lead singer,
Daniel Burton Whitmore (aka Dicksee
Diano), had been allegedly involved in
a massive drug-smuggling operation
and b) there actually exists a clownthemed Iron Maiden tribute band.
As possibly life-ruining drug busts
go, this definitely seemed to be one of
the most light-hearted that CW has
seen, with the Powerclown member
Sketchy Klown posting an enjoyably
S
dry statement on Facebook about the
incident: “Flags are flying half-mast at
the Powerclown circus tent,” he wrote.
“I assure you, any frowns we are
wearing are real. Painted on or not.”
7
DOWN
Donald Trump
(again)
Trump did, of course, have another
astonishing week — not least having
to move the date of his own imaginary
awards ceremony. “The Fake News
Awards, those going to the most
corrupt & biased of the Mainstream
Media, will be presented to the
losers on Wednesday,
January 17th, rather than
this coming Monday,”
he tweeted.
This is baffling.
As far as we know
the Fake News
Awards will be a
couple of tweets
from Trump
binning off CNN
as per usual.
Portentously
announcing to
46 million people that
you’re “moving the awards”
is like a toddler solemnly
explaining to you that they’ve run out
of imaginary lemonade so you’ll have
to drink imaginary milk instead.
IT’S NOT REAL! THERE ARE NO
PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS
TO TAKE INTO ACCOUNT
FOR SOMETHING THAT IS
WHOLLY IMAGINARY! YOU CAN
DO IT WHENEVER YOU LIKE!
IT WILL TAKE UP NO MORE
THAN TEN SECONDS!
6
UP
The Baftas
With the shortlist
announced this week,
excitement is building
for this year’s Baftas,
which has dynamically
enacted the belief that
art should reflect the truth, no
matter how difficult, by making the
shortlists for best director, best film
and best British film all white, male
and middle-aged. That is the reality
of the film industry. Bravo for Bafta!
Bafta has already announced that
it will be reflecting on last year’s
biggest story: sexual abuse in
entertainment. “Awards to shine a
spotlight on sexual harassment in
Hollywood,” one headline ran.
Although no further details have
yet been given, might CW suggest
that simply shining an actual
spotlight — on to various audience
members — would do the whole
thing more swiftly and neatly?
3
DOWN
Brad Pitt
5
UP
Gwyneth
Paltrow
Revealing that she is to
remarry, the world’s
greatest promoter of
fanny-troubling devices
(eg the vaginal steam)
told her website, Goop: “II
have tried to accept how
complex romantic love
can be. I’ve accepted
the soul-stretching,
pattern-breaking
opportunities that
(terrifyingly) are
made possible
by intimacy.”
It was a
masterclass in
over-thinking
made all the
more ironic
when the big
Paltrow-endorsed
pronouncement on
Goop that came the
next day prompted a
rebuttal piece by Dr
Jen Gunter, pithily
entitled: “Don’t listen to
Gwyneth Paltrow —
keep your coffee well
away from your rectum.””
That’s right — Goop
has been pushing $135
coffee enemas on its
readers. CW is amazed
that Paltrow can put so
much thought into
saying, “I’m getting
married,” but will chuck
a flat white up her
bumhole with nary a
moment’s pause.
At a recent charity auction, Brad Pitt
was narrowly out-bid on the
opportunity to watch an episode of
the forthcoming Game of Thrones
series with two of its biggest stars,
Emilia Clarke, below, and Kit
Harington. At $120,000 Pitt backed
out, leaving the floor clear for a
mystery bidder to eventually triumph
with a
mighty $160,000.
Putting aside how
potentially weird/
amazing this would
have been, there
does seem to be
one fatal flaw to
the plan. The one
thing that Game
of Thrones fans
get furious —
furious! —
about is
spoilers. Any
suggestion of
a plot-reveal
in advance
of watching
and they lose
their
goddamn
t
minds. CW has
seen GoT fans
snatch a spoilerriddled front page
of the Metro from
the
t hands of another
commuter (Victoria
Line, Wednesday, 6.47pm)
hissing, “Stop flashing it
around, love” like an
outraged nun on seeing
some knickers.
Therefore for Pitt —
or, indeed, anyone —
to sit and watch the
show
with two people who
s
were
intimately involved in
w
the making of it, and therefore likely
to thoughtlessly drop details into
their chatter such as, “It’s a nice
dragon, yeah. Pity it’s totally dead
in ten minutes,” really could put a
dent in his do.
the times | Friday January 12 2018
3
1G T
times2
2
UP
Prince Harry
and Meghan
Markle
As the royal wedding
continues to be
literally the only
uncomplicatedly
joyous thing chalked
on to the 2018
calendar — the World
Cup is in Russia and
the Oscars is a room
full of sexually
assaulted women
watching white guys win
prizes — the nation’s
hopes are increasingly
focused on its success.
Something being
scuppered by the refusal
1
DOWN
Toby Young
Since the advent of social media there
has been what we might briskly and
saltily refer to as the “pretending to be
a c-word for attention/cash” economy.
CW is fairly sure that anyone who has
been on social media for more than
five minutes will know what it’s talking
about. The cadre of communicators
who have looked at the infinite
possibilities that language offers us,
the oceans of cyberspace, filled with a
trillion bobbing messages in bottles —
messages of unrequited love, desperate
hope, unhappy confessions, pleas for
help, testimonies of life-changing
achievements and technological
breakthroughs, calls for togetherness
against injustice and constant silly,
clever, happy jokes — and decided
that what they would basically like to
do is push a massive poo in their bottle
and send that out to sea instead.
And when someone strolling down a
beach eventually picks up their bottle,
looks inside it and cries, “But it’s full of
poo! Why did you fill it with poo?
Could you not think of something
clever, or tender, or helpful, or funny,
or true to say?” the poo-sender replies,
with a swagger, “Of course I could! But
I just want to shake people up from
their complacency — with poo!
Start a debate . . . about poo! For
too long we’ve been talking
instead of just covering
everything with a thin,
viscous, distressing film
of poo! And that’s what
I’m here to do!”
And so to
Toby Young.
When the backlash
against his
appointment to the
Office of Students
began, Young’s
media friends and
Young himself
railed against the
“caricature” of
Young that was
being presented by
his opponents. It
was unfair, they said.
to make the day a bank
holiday. What, a
potential republican
might ask, is the
point of being “a
subject” if you
don’t get wanged
the odd day off
when your
monarchy enters
into a legally binding
dynastic covenant?
Instead Britain’s
thirsty serfs have
been offered the
possibility of the
pub opening hours
being extended to
mark the big day.
Essentially the country
is being psychologically
kettled into ferocious
binge drinking between
6pm and midnight
— exactly, CW likes
to think, what Harry,
the P
People’s Boozer,
th
would want.
Yes, he might have ogled the “massive”
breasts of someone at the Oscars later
rumoured to be a 14-year-old girl,
claimed to have his “dick” “up a
woman’s arse”, referred to wheelchair
ramps — and the general concept of
“inclusivity” — as “ghastly” and gone
to a nightclub disguised as a woman to
trick lesbians into having sex with him.
He may have repeatedly described
himself as a “provocateur”, the mime
for which, in Pictionary, is repeatedly
poking everyone in the room in the
eye because you get weirdly high off
people shouting, “Ow! Just why would
you do that, Toby? Why?” But that
isn’t, he and his friends insisted, what
Young is really like. That is merely a
persona. The real Toby is thoughtful,
kind, supportive of women and hardworking. The two Tobys are very, very
different. It’s like a Bruce Wayne/
Batman thing — but if Batman were
posh, had blagged a place at Oxford
thanks to his dad pulling strings, was
sexist and was into eugenics. Which, if
CW thinks about it, he probably is.
But the vital admission was there.
Young had indeed been pretending to
be a c*** — but just for attention/cash.
The problem is, of course, that you
can’t have this both ways. As Kurt
Vonnegut said, “We are what we
pretend to be — and so we must be
careful about what we pretend to be.”
Quite simply, there is no material
difference between saying appalling
things because you believe them and
saying appalling things that you
don’t believe simply for attention.
The things are still said. The poo
is still bottled. The ocean is still
filled
with your works. The mask
f
you have so arduously built
over the years — as a
provocateur, as someone
not to be put in charge of
dealing with women, the
LGBT community or
disabled people — has
eaten into your face.
You can’t simply
remove the mask,
then shout, “Joke!”
aand walk into a new
jjob. You’re 54. It has
been the greater
part of your life.
p
And now the
bottles of poo have
b
ffinally washed up on
yyour beach.
The hot list
What to do this weekend
Film
Three Billboards Outside
Ebbing, Missouri
Martin McDonagh’s dark
revenge comedy-drama is the
best film of the past 12 months,
according to Kevin Maher
(review, page 9). Frances
McDormand’s performance as
Mildred Hayes, right, a mother
seeking justice after the rape
and murder of her daughter, is
a knockout. Three Billboards won
best film at the Golden Globes
and nine Bafta nominations and
thoroughly deserves the buzz.
On general release
Visual art
Charles II: Art and Power
One of the greatest royal art
collectors (second only to his illfated father) is celebrated in this
lovely show featuring Titian,
Bruegel, Veronese, Peter Lely
and more. It paints an image of a
king who clearly knew the value
of a great profile picture.
Queen’s Gallery, Buckingham
Palace, London SW1 (030
123 7301), today, tomorrow
and Sunday
Dance
English National Ballet
Kenneth MacMillan’s
heavy-duty Song of the Earth
(set to Mahler) is paired with
a candy-coated production of
La Sylphide, an airy romantic
fantasy that is set in
Scotland in which hapless
James ends up being seduced
by a sylph on his wedding day.
Coliseum, London WC2 (020 7845
9300), tonight and tomorrow
Comedy
Chris Rock: Total Blackout
The American comic returns to
Britain for his first shows in a
decade, in a tour that culminates
in three London arena concerts
at the end of the month.
Motorpoint Arena Cardiff
(029 2022 4488), tonight;
Bournemouth International
Centre (0844 5763000), tomorrow;
First Direct Arena, Leeds
(0844 2481585), Sunday
Opera
The Return of Ulysses
Two years after the Royal Opera
decamped to Camden for
Monteverdi’s L’Orfeo, the
company returns with the
composer’s late masterpiece in a
new production by John
Fulljames, with Roderick
Williams, right, in the title role.
It’s a resounding triumph.
Roundhouse, London NW1 (0300
6789222), tonight and tomorrow
Theatre
Girl from the North Country
The Old Vic’s five-star Bob
Dylan musical, written and
directed by Conor McPherson,
transfers to the West End.
Dylan’s songs — as you’ve never
heard them — become the
soundtrack to a heartbreaking
story that begins in a guesthouse
in Duluth, Minnesota, during the
Great Depression.
Noël Coward Theatre, London
WC2 (0844 4825140), tonight
and tomorrow
Pop
Paramore
Once the emo band of choice
for teenagers, this group, led
by Hayley Williams, right,
have reinvented themselves
as shiny, colourful pop stars
for all ages on their latest
album, After Laughter.
Genting Arena, Birmingham
(0844 3388000), Sunday
In Saturday Review tomorrow
Meet David Morrissey — the
man coming to rule Britannia
Saturday January 13 2018
7-DAY
TV & RADIO
GUIDE
page 23
Great Scot
Celebrating the world
of Charles Rennie
Mackintosh 8
The Romans
are coming
David
Morrissey,
star of Britannia
and Julius Caesar
art books theatre film music
television what’s on puzzles
4
1G T
Friday January 12 2018 | the times
cover story
The man who got the Queen to
Award-winning television producer Anthony Geffen
tells Damian Whitworth how he came to make The
Coronation, the astonishing film in which the Queen
shares her memories of that day for the first time
W
hen
Anthony
Geffen
finished his
new film
about
the Queen
and her
coronation a courtier took him aside.
“He said, ‘Do you realise you have
the real Crown?’ And I said, ‘I do
realise that. That was exactly what
I was hoping to get.’ When you
watch The Crown Claire Foy does
an amazing job playing the Queen,”
Geffen says, “but I think this film is
the real human story.”
The Coronation tells the story of the
events of 1953 in a way that even The
Crown’s lavish production values can’t
match. In an astonishing coup it has
the Queen herself talking for the first
time on camera about the day she
was crowned, sharing personal
reminiscences and offering candid
insights into her experiences at the
dawn of the new Elizabethan age.
The Queen, famously, has never
given an interview, but after 22 years
of patient plotting, Geffen and Alastair
Bruce, a royal expert, persuaded her to
sit down with Bruce at Buckingham
Palace. “I would call it a conversation,”
says Geffen. “She talks freely about
everything to do with the Coronation.”
The Queen told Bruce: “I’ve seen one
coronation and been the recipient in
the other. Which is pretty remarkable.”
She was reunited with St Edward’s
Crown, which she had not seen
since her coronation, and the
Imperial State Crown, which
she wears for state openings of
parliament. She took delight
in recounting stories about
the jewels in the crowns and
watched footage of her
coronation. This archive
film, which she was seeing
for the first time, fascinated
her because she explained
that when you are at the
centre of a ceremony like
that it is impossible to see it.
In the course of
researching the film Bruce
finally got to the bottom of
the mystery of what
happened to the Crown Jewels
during the Second World War.
The most important stones
were hidden in a Bath Oliver
biscuit tin at Windsor Castle.
There has been speculation in
recent years that the treasures
were hidden at Windsor, but no
one knew for sure. Even the
Queen didn’t know. Bruce unearthed
an “electric set of letters” in the Royal
Collection from Sir Owen Morshead,
the royal librarian, to Queen Mary, the
mother of George VI, in which he
described how the jewels were hidden.
After digging deep into the grounds
at Windsor beneath a sally port, two
chambers were constructed with steel
doors. The excavations had to be
screened from the Luftwaffe at night
with tarpaulins. Once the two rooms
were built the Crown Jewels were
locked inside and the area grassed
over, but access was possible through
a trapdoor, which still exists.
However, Morshead wrote in a letter
how the most precious gems were
taken out of the Imperial State Crown
and concealed in the Bath Oliver
biscuit tin. He described how he had
prised the Black Prince’s Ruby and St
Edward’s Sapphire out of the little
clasps that were holding them on the
Imperial State Crown. Bruce says: “He
just gouged them out, recognising
there would be plenty of chances to
put them back in again, wrapped them
up and put them in the Bath Oliver tin
so should anything happen — just as
when Oliver Cromwell ordered the
Crown Jewels to be smashed up —
they could ferry these away and could
rebuild it in due course.”
Bruce, who explored the dank
chambers for the film, told the Queen
what had happened. She asked if the
royal librarian had told anyone else as
a precaution in case he died in the
middle of the war. Bruce explained
that the king had known.
It’s remarkable
she did it. It took
a long time to
get it to happen
“I think it’s gripping how
personally involved George VI was
and how secretive he was about it,”
Bruce says. “I think like father, like
daughter, this sense of how utterly
important the Crown Jewels are
to the country is very much felt
by Elizabeth II. I think that is one
of the reasons why she has
chosen in the 65th anniversary
[of her coronation] to allow us
this extraordinary unique
access to the Crown Jewels and
for her to take part in helping
to bring them to life.”
The Queen was intrigued to
see if the St Edward’s Crown,
which is kept at the Tower of
London, was still as heavy as
she remembered it being when
it was placed on her head.
“What most moved me was
the way she looked at the St
Edward’s Crown,” Bruce says. “She
was just 27 when she was crowned
and there is a strong tradition in the
history of the English coronation that
if anything goes wrong it is seen as an
ill omen. Imagine what it must have
been like having given permission to
allow the film cameras to cover live
every element of it. And also imagine
the prospect of having a 5lb crown of
gold designed for somebody who was
wearing a huge wig — that being
Charles II — placed on your 27-yearold head. When [for the film] she leant
forward and tapped that crown and
lifted it up and said, ‘Gosh, this is as
heavy as it always was,’ I think what is
going on there is she is remembering
that profound moment of challenge to
her when she had to absolutely hold it
together for the nation.”
The Queen explained the difficulties
of wearing the Imperial State Crown
at the opening of parliament. “You
can’t look down to read the speech,
you have to take the speech up.
Because if you did your neck would
break, it would fall off. So there are
some disadvantages to crowns, but
otherwise they are quite important
things.” She added: “Fortunately my
father and I have about the same sort
of shaped head.”
Bruce — a royal television
commentator, herald at the College of
Arms, godfather to Viscount Severn,
the son of Prince Edward, and an
expert on the Crown Jewels and royal
ceremony — is known to the Queen.
In clips released yesterday she talks to
him in a relaxed way that has rarely
been seen before on television.
She describes the journey to
Westminster Abbey in the gold state
coach. “Horrible! It’s not meant for
travelling in at all. I mean it’s only
sprung on leather . . . not very
comfortable.” Asked if she was in it
the times | Friday January 12 2018
5
1G T
cover story
tell the real story of The Crown
COVER: CECIL BEATON/CAMERA PRESS. BELOW: PA; ITV
award-winning Atlantic Productions,
made the film in which President
Obama interviewed Attenborough at
the White House. It is also understood
that the fly-on-the-wall BBC series
about parliament, Inside the Commons,
which Geffen made, was well received
at Buckingham Palace.
Geffen says: “It’s remarkable she did
it because she doesn’t have to do
anything she doesn’t want to now and
it took a long time to get it to happen.
She is the longest-serving monarch and
I think she realised that she could shed
some light on what the Coronation and
the Crown Jewels mean. For her to talk
about it is pretty significant and I think
You could see her
being taken back
to the 27-year-old.
That’s powerful
long, she says: “Halfway round
London.” The film-makers found that
at 91 the Queen remains razor sharp
and possessed of a quick and dry wit.
“She’s got this very wry sense of
humour,” says Geffen.
When he and Bruce had the idea for
the film more than two decades ago,
there was no chance of the Palace
agreeing to a documentary about the
Coronation and the Crown Jewels, let
alone one in which the Queen featured.
Three or four years ago, however,
the Palace view began to change.
“There was a new guard coming in that
could see this film as helping people to
make sense of the role and meaning of
the monarchy. It is saying: ‘What are
these Crown Jewels? How do they
relate to the monarchy and how does
Alastair Bruce
with the Queen.
Left: Anthony Geffen.
Above right: the Gold
State Coach transports
the Queen after
her coronation
The Coronation is on
BBC One, Sunday, 8pm
the Coronation relate?” The film is
part of a series of BBC programmes on
the Royal Collection and ultimately the
Queen decided that it was something
she would do. The involvement of
Bruce was important. His parents were
in Malta when Princess Elizabeth, as
she then was, was there with Prince
Philip, who was stationed on the island
when he was in the Royal Navy.
“Alastair is somebody she knows
reasonably well and she knows he
knows what he’s talking about,” Geffen
says. “There is no way the Queen is
going to sit with someone she doesn’t
know and talk openly.”
It probably also helped that Geffen
has often worked with David
Attenborough, who is admired by the
Queen. Geffen, the founder of the Bafta
in doing so she has humanised herself
in a really nice way.”
The film includes some of the
Queen’s home movies as well as archive
footage of the Coronation, which she
said she had not seen before. “The
Coronation is a long way away in her
reign. It meant a lot to her, but she
hadn’t visited it in her mind for 65
years. Isn’t that amazing? She hadn’t
watched the footage. She was
fascinated. Can you imagine looking at
the Coronation having never seen it
before?” says Geffen. “You forget these
are real human beings. What was it like
for the Queen to walk into the Abbey
for the first major televised event? It’s
scary. I think people will say, ‘God, I
have never seen the Queen like that.’ ”
The Queen describes the
Coronation as “a sort of beginning of
one’s life, really, as a sovereign. It’s a
sort of pageant of chivalry and oldfashioned way of doing things, I think
really.” As she watches the footage she
adds: “It’s quite interesting to have it,
you know, done again.”
While watching her 27-year-old self
walking in the Abbey in her heavy
robes, she recalls how hard it was to
move. “I remember one moment when
I was going against the pile of the
carpet and I couldn’t move at all . . . they
hadn’t thought of that.” In another clip
Prince Charles and Princess Anne are
seen playing with the train of her
robes. When Bruce suggests that it was
fun for the children, the Queen replies:
“Not what they’re meant to do.”
The Queen tells a story about pearls
in the Imperial State Crown that are
said to have belonged to Mary, Queen
of Scots before Elizabeth I owned them.
“They are not very happy,” the Queen
says. “They don’t look very happy now.
Most pearls like to be living creatures,
so they have been just hanging out here
for years, it’s rather sad.”
A security operation was mounted
to move the two crowns from the
Tower to Buckingham Palace, where
the film crew spent most of a day
filming the Queen. “What was
extraordinary and what unfolded that
I didn’t expect was the personal
element of it,” Geffen says. “I thought
we’d get some facts, but suddenly she
was just open and wanted to pick
things up and get involved. That’s the
Queen we hadn’t seen before. I had to
pinch myself to think this was
happening. It’s a very different
portrait; she never talks about her
personal life.” There were certain
differences from most other
documentaries. “There were no
retakes, for a start. You can’t do
retakes with the Queen.”
For three nights a crew was given
access to the Crown Jewels in the
Tower, where they were removed from
their cases and filmed in close-up by
high-definition and miniature cameras
so that the cut of diamonds and even
specks of dust can be seen. There were
some logistical problems involved in
filming crowns, which cannot be shot
from directly overhead, because only
God should be above a crown.
However magnificent the jewels
look, it is likely that when the full film
is shown on Sunday what will stick in
the mind is the Queen being filmed at
home talking about one of the key
moments of her reign. “This wasn’t
something she had rehearsed,” Geffen
says. “You could see her being taken
back to the 27-year-old. That’s pretty
powerful. You can get great writers on
The Crown, but this is the true stuff.”
6
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Friday January 12 2018 | the times
film
‘There were things I learnt
on Game of Thrones that
you could never learn in
a classroom’
Maisie Williams talks to Ed Potton
about the final series of GoT and her
latest role as a cave girl in Early Man
M
aisie Williams
has read them.
“Them” being
arguably the
most closely
guarded
documents in
television history,
the scripts for the final season of Game
of Thrones. The denouement of the
world’s biggest show isn’t due until
2019. But Williams already knows
what awaits them all: Daenerys,
Jon and Tyrion, as well as Arya, the
watchable, badass pint-size assassin
she has played, to Emmy-nominated
effect, for almost half her life.
“I know stuff now,” the 20-year-old
says. “And it’s not just knowing stuff,
it’s knowing the end.” (Curled up on
a sofa in a hotel in central London,
Williams is actually promoting her
new animated film, Early Man, but
You work adult
hours, have an
adult salary, then
go back to school
she knows that Game of Thrones is
unavoidable.) Before she read the
Thrones scripts, she and her mother
“cracked open a bottle of wine and
made predictions about how it was
going to end. Neither of us was right.”
Was either of them close? “No.
I don’t know if it’s gonna surprise
people, but it’s just different to what
you think it’s gonna be.” Word is that
HBO could make each episode in the
last season feature-length. That would
be “amazing”, Williams says. “Milk it
for all it’s worth, why don’t you!”
She can’t say much more. If she did
she’d suffer a fate worse than Arya’s
victims, who have, variously, been
stabbed in their eyes, had their throats
cut and been fed to their
th i father
f th in
i a
pie. Can she answer one thing: does
Arya have any hope of a normal life,
after her father, mother and two of
her brothers were slain horribly at the
hands of Westeros’s villains? “For a lot
of the previous season her emotions
were very cut off, she just didn’t want
to hear what her family had been
through,” Williams says. “I hope in
the new season I get a chance to bring
back a bit more of that fun child that
we all fell in love with.”
If she has read the scripts then
surely Williams knows if there’s
a chance of this happening. Is she
hinting that a sunnier Arya is on the
cards, or deploying a red herring?
Maybe she doesn’t know; there are
rumours that fake scripts have been
issued to put snoopers off the scent.
Either way, her interest in seeing
the return of the “fun child” is telling.
While Arya’s childhood has been
drowned in blood, Williams’s has also
been curtailed, albeit less gruesomely.
Having beaten 300 other actresses to
the role of Arya when she was 12, she
spent big chunks of each year filming,
being tutored on set whenever she
was away for longer than ten days.
Returning to school in Somerset was
hard, she says. “You work adult hours,
have an adult salary and it’s a lot of
responsibility, then you go back to
school and have to put your hand up to
go to the toilet.” She’s
spoken about feeling
like an adult at 12. “But
that’s all evening out
and I feel like a 20-yearold now. It’s interesting
being interviewed so
much through my
adolescence because
there’s things I can
look back at now.
I’ve come a long way.
I was a really cynical
teenager and I feel
like I’m a nicer,
more wholesome
person now.”
Above: Maisie
Williams. Above left:
with Florence Pugh
in The Falling. Below:
Ed Sheeran’s cameo
in Game of Thrones.
Right: Williams’s Early
Man character, Goona
the times | Friday January 12 2018
7
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DANI BRUBAKER/CONTOUR BY GETTY IMAGES
film
From No One to Arya Stark
of Winterfell
W
Arya bests the Waif, her
rival,
rival by channelling her
inner
inne Luke Skywalker to fight
without
sight. Arya removes
wit
her
he adversary’s face and
presents
it to her assassin
pr
guru,
gu Jaqen H’ghar, who
says
sa that she is finally
No One, a killer without
identity.
A triumphant
ide
Arya
Ary demurs, saying she is
“Arya
“Ary Stark of Winterfell
and I’m going home”.
5 of Arya’s
greatest
moments
Tywin’s coy cupbearer
Posing as a suspiciously
girlish boy at Harrenhal,
Arya gets the attention of
Tywin Lannister, who
somehow does not recognise
her. She becomes his cupbearer
rer
and, during a council,
overhears details of the war
against her brother Robb.
Thanks to some unflustered
acting, Arya dupes the devious
us
Tywin — he never learns her
true identity.
The Hound begs like a dog
After being wounded by
Brienne of Tarth, who sought
to save Arya from him, Sandor
Clegane, aka the Hound, above
right, pleads for Arya to put
him down. She refuses to throw
him a bone and leaves him
to suffer in repayment for
the execution of her friend
Mycah, a butcher’s son.
Indeed, today she’s more squealing
fan than jaded veteran, chattering
manically about voicing a cavewoman
footballer in Early Man, the latest
animated movie from Aardman
Studios, near where she used to
live in Bristol. (“We’re very proud
of Aardman down there,” she says,
adding slightly bizarrely that Chicken
Run “shaped me as a woman”.)
Attention then turns to the room
we’re in. (“It’s very blue. It’s so cool,
but it’s actually a bit gross. And don’t
you think that these lamps look like
takeaway kebab boxes?”) Then to the
first time that she chatted online with
Ed Sheeran. (“I tweeted him and he
tweeted me back and it was just the
coolest thing ever!”) Sheeran, now
a friend, had a cameo in Game
of Thrones that some found too
distracting. She disagrees. “He looks
like a guy you’d bump into on the
street, so I think it does work — it
would be weird if it was Justin Bieber.”
Williams is tiny, 5ft nothing, and
glam, but slightly awkward in sparkly
silver heels and a short black dress,
which she pulls down self-consciously.
She looks much younger than 20 and
it’s easy to forget that she’s a star of
the biggest series on the planet, partly
because she forgets it too. She was
once on the red carpet at the Screen
Actors Guild awards with her close
friend Sophie Turner, who plays Arya’s
sister, Sansa. “Jennifer Lawrence
walked past and said, ‘Oh, I love your
show!’ and hugged Sophie and kissed
her on the head and walked off. We
were, like, ‘What just happened?’ ”
Her profile helped to persuade
Nick Park (Wallace & Gromit, Shaun
the Sheep) to cast her opposite Eddie
Redmayne and Tom Hiddleston in
Early Man, in which a clueless Stone
Age football team take on some
all-conquering Bronze Agers. “I loved
how versatile and funny she was,”
Park says in an onstage Q&A before
our interview. In Game of Thrones she
has gone from scamp to psychopath:
that’s versatile. Williams is a much
more nuanced actress than many
of her young peers on that show.
Park was joined in the Q&A by
Williams and Hiddleston, who plays a
baddie with a French accent straight
Ser Meryn sees no more
Ser Meryn Trant, a cruel
knight of the Kingsguard,
arrives in Braavos, the richest
of the free cities. In a brothel
he beats three young girls
without remorse. The third,
however, remains unaffected,
separating herself from the
rest. Once they’re alone she
removes her disguise, reveals
herself as a righteous Arya,
and cuts out Ser Meryn’s eyes
before stabbing him and
slitting his throat.
out of ’Allo ’Allo. While Hiddleston
is charming (“I play an overweight,
frustrated middle manager with small
hands; I think Nick Park is the first
director to really see me as I am”),
Williams is honest about her turn as
Goona (an Arsenal fan, presumably).
“I can feel which sessions were
stronger. They’ve been shot months
apart and they don’t sound the same.”
She’s being hard on herself. Goona’s
accent is meant to be all over the
place, like a Eurotrash voiceover. She
was asked to do a mix of Scandinavian
and Dutch, “and when I heard the
scratch track [dummy dialogue] it was
German, so I placed it somewhere
in the middle.”
Like Arya, Goona is a woman
outplaying men at their own game,
but Williams isn’t rushing to call her
a feminist. “I would never label her
that . . . this is where I get in real hot
water and people don’t like what I say.”
She’s referring to an old interview
in which she rejected the word
“feminist”, saying “you are either
a normal person or a sexist”.
My point is that Goona is not a
submissive woman; Williams hasn’t
played many of those. “No, I haven’t.
It’s just so uncool to think that there
would ever be any female character
that was inadequate.” But there
are. “Right, but as a young woman
that’s the only attitude that I’ve
ever honestly had.” She has certainly
never played an eye-candy role.
“I would never [do that], but I don’t
look like that sort of character, so
I don’t think I ever will. I don’t have
an issue with it.”
Williams was born in Bristol. Her
parents divorced when she was young
and she lived with her mother, a
university course administrator, and
her three older siblings in Somerset.
“I was pretty scrappy. I used to love
being the centre of attention. I’m still
very much the little annoying sister.
But my siblings keep me in line.”
Leaving school before taking her
GCSEs, she studied performing arts
in Bath and lived in Bristol before
moving to London. Her mother now
works with her, helping to manage her
Try our
Game of
Thrones
quiz
thetimes.co.uk/arts
The great Westeros bake-off
Arya disguises herself as a
servant
girl and kills the
serv
brothers Lothar Frey and
Black Walder, who had been
part of the plot to murder
her mother and brother. She
minces their bodies, bakes
them in a pie and serves it
to their father, Walder Frey.
Enlightening Walder about
the contents of his dinner,
she reveals her identity and
cuts his throat. You’ll never
eat a Fray Bentos in the
same way again.
Gabe Jagger
social media accounts (she has almost
two million followers on Twitter
and more than seven million on
Instagram). Williams is a chirpy
presence online, posting goofy
pictures of herself with her boyfriend,
Ollie Jackson, a student who she says
is “going to save the environment”,
and her dog, Sonny.
She has also had her share of flak
on social media, which is a reason
why she starred in a TV drama called
Cyberbully, which aimed “to shine a
light on people who don’t believe that
they’re bullies. They think it’s a bit of
fun, but you’d never say those things
to someone’s face.” Does she still get
trolled? “Yeah, but that’s just being
famous. You learn to turn it off.”
Shooting for the final series of
Game of Thrones is under way. A
post-Thrones world is “pretty scary”,
she says. “But there’s so much more
to life than being the most famous
Hollywood actress.”
Still, she should be busy for the
rest of her career. She was great as
a damaged schoolgirl in The Falling
and has more films in the pipeline.
In Mary Shelley she plays the woman
who introduces Mary, played by
Elle Fanning (“who I’ve been a fan
of since for ever”), to Percy Shelley.
Then there’s The New Mutants, an
X-Men spinoff in which she plays a
superhero who can turn into a wolf.
“It would be wonderful to push
myself out of my comfort zone,”
she says. “I feel very different to
Arya now that I’ve grown up.” She
pronounces Arya like “aria”, although
it’s apparently meant to be “ah-yer” —
there’s a discussion group on Reddit
dedicated to the subject. She giggles.
“I say it wrong, but I don’t care!”
She may be cavalier about the
details, but she’s in no doubt about
the debt she owes to the series.
“There were things I learnt on Game
of Thrones that you could never learn
in a classroom. It’s the responsibility
and the discipline of it — if you have
a bad day on set it’s there for ever.”
Fortunately for Williams, she doesn’t
have many of those.
Early Man is released on January 26
8
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Friday January 12 2018 | the times
arts
Richard Morrison the arts column
Let’s follow New York and charge for our museums and galleries
N
ew York’s grandest
cultural institution,
the Metropolitan
Museum of Art, is
getting a duffing-up
by American critics
after announcing a
move intended to
shore up its ailing finances. Having
run up a $10 million deficit last year
(the fifth successive year that it ended
in the red), it will impose a two-tier
admission policy from March. For
New York state residents it will
continue to be what it has hitherto
been for everyone: “pay as you wish”.
For non-New Yorkers, however, there
will be a mandatory charge of $25.
If you haven’t visited the Met in the
past six years you may be confused by
this. Until 2012 visitors were directed
to a ticket desk manned by an
immaculately groomed grande dame
of Fifth Avenue. Her job was to give
you the clear impression that you
wouldn’t get past her without forking
out a $25 “recommended donation”.
Not unless you were prepared to
declare yourself homeless, jobless,
bankrupt, orphaned and stricken
with a life-threatening illness.
Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of
visitors paid the $25. Hell holds few
terrors comparable to humiliation in
front of dozens of queueing tourists.
In 2012, however, the Met was sued
over these heavy-handed tactics.
Although it won its case, the adverse
publicity prompted it to change the
word “recommended” to “suggested”
and to tone down its ritual humiliation
of poor people. Consequently, human
nature being what it is, fewer than 20
per cent of visitors pay the full $25.
The Met claims that making that
compulsory for non-New Yorkers will
raise more than $10 million extra each
year. Its critics say that this is piffling
when set against an annual expenditure
of $332 million and that imposing this
hefty charge will only reinforce the
exclusive image of the museum.
On this side of the Pond, of course,
we don’t have these arguments
because Britain’s national museums
and galleries have been free since
2001. Or at least, free at the point of
entry. In fact, free admission costs
taxpayers well over £200 million a
year. That is the hidden subsidy
compensating museums for the money
they could have earned from charging.
GETTY IMAGES
The Metropolitan
Museum of Art in
New York
Heads
you lose
Perhaps it’s time we did re-examine
why they don’t charge. I have never
found the art establishment’s
arguments as compelling as those
inside that world do. For a start the
policy pits art form against art form. It
is surely just as beneficial for people to
experience a live performance of
Still feeling queasy
after watching the
Royal Opera’s
production of Salome
— which boasts as
realistic a severed
head as you will
see starring
in the West End
— I find another
disembodied bonce
starring in a
controversy in Austria.
Vienna’s World
Museum is in trouble
for displaying a real
severed head: a war
trophy of the Brazilian
Munduruku tribe.
Far from displaying
them, most European
museums are quietly
trying to dispose of
their skulls, scalps and
assorted human
remains, many of
which were looted
from sacred sites in
colonial times.
It’s embarrassing,
then, that the biggest
tourist attraction
at the British Museum
is its Egyptian
Oscars prediction night
A n e xc l u s i ve o p p o r t u n i t y fo r s u b s c r i b e r s
Join us on March 1 to hear The Times film critics, Kevin Maher and Ed Potton discuss their
predictions for this year’s Oscars. Plus, see a screening of Darkest Hour, in cinemas now, starring
this year’s Golden Globe award winner for Best Actor, Gary Oldman as Winston Churchill.
Book tickets from 11am today at mytimesplus.co.uk
© 2017. Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved. This Times+ event is open to UK subscribers only. For full terms and conditions, visit mytimesplus.co.uk
Beethoven or Shakespeare as it
is to see a Monet, yet nobody
expects free admission to the
Royal Albert Hall or the National
Theatre. Swimming is great for
your health, but you have to pay
to use your local pool. Why, uniquely,
are galleries and museums granted
mummies. Still, at least
we have advanced
since the 17th century,
when the heads of
mummies were
regularly crushed and
eaten for their
supposed restorative
properties — not least
by Charles II, the
“merry monarch”.
Can consuming the
skull of a long-dead
person really pep you
up? I suppose the only
answer to that is:
“It’s a no-brainer.”
the expensive privilege of offering
free admission?
The old argument was that it makes
them less elitist, but the stats don’t
support this. In the first decade of free
admission, the proportion of museum
visitors from lower socio-economic
groups increased from 14 to 16 per
cent. On the other hand, museum
attendance as a whole surged. The
inevitable conclusion is that the
£200 million of subsidy is paying for
the middle classes to enjoy their
pleasures more often.
Yet our cash-strapped museums
desperately need new sources of
income. I accept that a blanket
admission charge is politically, and
perhaps culturally, unacceptable, but
that leaves many other options. Last
year I argued that all institutions
should stay open on weekday
evenings, with paid admission after
6pm targeted at art lovers who don’t
want to jostle with parties of
schoolchildren. Plenty of people told
me this was a good idea, but no
museum tried it. Far too radical.
Or how about following New York’s
lead and charging non-British visitors
for entry? There are, I’m told, two
main objections to that. The first is the
contention that tourists are attracted
here because of our free museums. I
have never bought that argument.
Most tourists have no idea that our
museums are free until they get here,
and are bemused by the discovery —
not least because every other great
museum in the world, from the Louvre
to the Hermitage, charges. And also
because they have to pay £22 to enter
Westminster Abbey, £24.80 for the
Tower of London, and £70 or more for
a good seat at a West End musical.
And the second objection? It’s that
British residents would have to prove
their identity to get in free. Well, so
what? You hand over a bank card, you
state your postcode and the details are
checked in a microsecond. Under-18s
would still go in free.
I’m not a killjoy or philistine. I want
our museums to be properly staffed,
well financed and popular with
everyone. Increasingly, however, that’s
proving impossible to achieve when
such an obvious revenue stream is
banned by quasi-Stalinist political
decree. Museum trustees should be
given back the power to decide how
best to run their institutions.
EVENT
the times | Friday January 12 2018
9
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arts
THE
CRITICS
Ed Potton
is surprised by an Eric Clapton film p10
Will Hodgkinson
finds that BRMC are all grown up p11
Rachel Campbell-Johnston
visits Blake in his country retreat p12
The movie to beat them all
enormous statements about the
importance of love and kindness
in a film about rape and murder.
It helps, of course, that Harrelson
and McDormand have never been
better (this is the companion piece
to McDormand’s famous Fargo
performance, but richer, more
complex and more world-weary).
McDormand, especially, is a wonder.
She carries entire scenes with a stare,
a quizzical eyebrow lift or a tiny snarl.
It’s an untouchable turn.
And lest you imagine that the movie
is all about group hugs and happy
tears, there are also moments of
sudden and extreme violence.
The billboards trigger a chain of
the big film
This revenge
drama should win
all the awards. It’s
the best movie of
the past 12 months,
says Kevin Maher
C
inemagoers, you are
blessed. It’s not often
that you get a chance
to see the surprise
contender of the
movie-awards season
right in the middle of
awards season, just as
that contender is defining the season
itself. Yet here we are with a dark and
violent comedy-drama from the
writer-director Martin McDonagh that
unexpectedly nabbed the most Golden
Globe awards, has received nine Bafta
nominations and is ultimately geared
for Oscar glory.
It is the film to beat this year. And
typically, in these giddy days of
cultural watchdogs and online fury,
the conversation around it has become
equally robust. Is it really the best film
of the year? Or is it racist? And does
the lead actress, Frances McDormand,
give the year’s most memorable
performance? The answers can only
be yes, no and yes.
The narrative set-up will be vaguely
familiar to anyone who has seen a
western, a crime film or any
Hollywood movie featuring a
sympathetic protagonist who is
motivated by revenge and/or justice
(think Kill Bill, True Grit or John Wick).
In this case the avenging angel is
Mildred Hayes (McDormand), a
grieving mother from the eponymous
town who is determined to bring the
men who raped and murdered her
daughter to justice, even if this means
incurring the wrath of the local police
classic
film
of the
week
Hayes is one of
the greatest
screen creations
of this or any year
Woody Harrelson and Frances McDormand in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Three Billboards
Outside Ebbing,
Missouri
15, 115min
{{{{{
Phenomena
(1985)
18, 116min
{{(((
department, which is led by the kindly
sheriff Bill Willoughby (Woody
Harrelson) and his bigoted sidekick,
Jason Dixon (Sam Rockwell). So far,
so Liam Neeson action flick. Yet that is
where the similarities and familiarities
end, thankfully.
Instead McDonagh, who has often
been a frustrating auteur to encounter
(In Bruges and Seven Psychopaths
had oodles of style, but held back
on emotional commitment), unleashes
in McDormand’s Hayes one of the
greatest screen creations of this
or any year.
She is introduced with a bandana,
overalls and half-shaven head, as if
prepared for a post-apocalyptic street
battle (she’s very Mad Max). Her first
few words, spoken to an advertising
agent (she is booking controversial
ad space on the town’s billboards
to goad the police into action), are
C
arrie meets Ant-Man
in this astoundingly
ly
bonkers
psycho-horror
from the splatter
maestro Dario Argento.
Fifteen-year-old Jennifer
Connelly, right (later of
Dark Water and Noah),
stars as an American waif att
ol
a posh Swiss boarding school
urders
who regularly witnesses murders
littered with expletives. Yet in a tiny,
half-observed cutaway in the agent’s
office she sees a tiny black beetle
struggling on its back and deftly flips
it the right way up. That sets the tone
for the rest of the film. Bleakness
and anger matched with compassion,
hope and decency.
Mildred’s billboards target the
cancer-stricken Willoughby and,
naturally, throw the town into chaos
(the people love their dying sheriff and
the billboards are a gross insult). She
subsequently receives two pivotal visits
from the mildly peeved cop.
The first ends in stalemate and
callous insults. The second is a
surprise moment of such profound
tenderness between two seeming
adversaries that you’re likely to
simultaneously blub in the aisles and
marvel at the bravery of writing and
acting that’s prepared to make such
while sleepwalking and displays
alarm
alarming telekinetic powers
over the insect world
(she can control entire
(sh
bee swarms).
be
Naturally, she
jjoins
o forces with a
eentomologist
n
(Donald
P
le
Pleasence,
tongue firmly
in ch
in
cheek) and his loyal
chimpa
ch
chimpanzee sidekick in
the hunt for a deadly serial killer
th
events that include the firebombing
of the police station, a savage
blood-drenched public beating, an
attack on a dentist and the beating
of two high-school teenagers.
All of this, as is McDonagh’s style,
teeters on the brink of absurdity
(because isn’t life, in essence, absurd?)
and is captured by characters who
regularly interrogate their lines
(again, very McDonagh) as they
speak them. They discuss, for instance,
the difference between a question
and a statement, query the true use
of the word “beget” and debate
the correct usage of culturally
sensitive terminology.
Which brings us, inevitably, to
racism. The film has created
sympathetic traits in the racist
Dixon and has been accused of
being racist itself. Only a nitwit would
make that syllogism. Only a pedant
could ignore the plea for tolerance
that seeps through the movie like an
intoxicating philtre. It’s the best film
of the past 12 months.
who likes to stab his victims with a
telescopic pole before decapitating
them and hurling their heads
down waterfalls.
It’s immensely stupid, frequently
repulsive (watch out for the vat of
decomposing bodies), but almost
worth it for the deadpan Pleasence
line: “It’s perfectly normal for insects
to be slightly telepathic.” Right.
Kevin Maher
On Blu-ray from Arrow on Jan 15
10
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Friday January 12 2018 | the times
film reviews
What a
Winston:
Oldman’s
finest
hour
He is the strongest
screen Churchill
of the modern era,
says Kevin Maher
Darkest Hour
PG, 125min
W
{{{{(
hen we first
see Winston
Churchill
(Gary
Oldman) in
the wartime
drama
Darkest
Hour he’s lit like the Devil in flaming
red. It’s early in the morning in May
1940 and the film has already been
through three sizeable scenes: Hitler
is about to send three million soldiers
flooding across Europe; parliament
is unhappy with Neville Chamberlain;
a new prime minister must be chosen.
It has teased us with the prospect
of Churchill, the sight of his hat and
the impact of his legend (politicians in
parliament groan at the mention of his
name). And then it happens. An inkblack bedroom, a single struck match
and that iconic face, emerging eerily
A Woman’s Life
12A, 116min
{{{((
from the darkness. Winston Churchill,
legend, mythic figure, superhero.
Soon, however, someone opens the
curtains, the light floods in and we see
everything, almost literally — Churchill
whooshes his legs up, rolling out of bed,
and the assembled company, including
a new assistant, Elizabeth Layton (Lily
James), get a comedic and entirely
unintentional micro-flash of the
Churchill family jewels. It’s the perfect
start, traditional yet irreverent, to an
artful piece of portraiture.
Joe Wright’s film (his best since
Atonement in 2007) inevitably has
broad ambitions. It wants to describe
the tensions within Churchill’s
Conservative Party at the outset
of the war, and to witness our bellicose
hero battling dithering peaceniks
Chamberlain (Ronald Pickup) and
Viscount Halifax (Stephen Dillane,
chillingly composed).
Guy de Maupassant’s debut novel Une
Vie is adapted into a dreamy period
drama that attempts, with some
success, to escape the tyranny of
formula. Judith Chemia, left, is Jeanne,
the loving daughter and heiress who
lives with her parents in a giant
château in Normandy and likes
nothing better than a spot of gardening
with papa, Baron Simon-Jacques (JeanPierre Darroussin) or a soapy scrubdown from housemaid Rosalie (Nina
Meurisse). Life couldn’t be better.
Enter the penniless smoothie
Viscount Julien de Lamare (Swann
Arlaud), an obvious cad who is wildly
attracted to Jeanne’s dowry, and
begins their eventual honeymoon
night of “love” with a brusquely
intimidating: “Don’t be afraid.”
Naturally, Jeanne’s subsequent
life slowly implodes as Julien enjoys
multiple affairs and provides our
heroine with a duplicitous, moneygrabbing son (Finnegan Oldfield). The
director Stéphane Brizé does some
lovely work with flashbacks and flashforwards, but the deadening sense that
we know where this is going (hint: not
up) is never quite undone. KM
Kristin Scott Thomas
and Gary Oldman
in Darkest Hour.
Below: Eric Clapton
The Times Film
Show — watch
Kevin Maher
and Ed Potton
discuss Darkest
Hour and Three
Billboards
thetimes.co.uk/arts
However, when you strip away
the structure (two small speeches,
followed by some self-doubt,
then the big “fight on the beaches”
speech), it’s fundamentally a film
about being Churchill, and about
being this version of Churchill —
funny, terrifying, introspective,
drunk, cunning, caring and cold.
In every aspect Oldman proves
a charismatic draw. With his face
lathered in latex but expertly alive,
and his voice perfectly curdled by
an alleged $20,000 worth of cigars
(Oldman claims that he smoked
12 cigars a day for three months,
to aptly capture the character’s
trademark rasp), his is easily the
most effective screen Churchill
of the modern era (sorry Brian Cox,
from Churchill, and John Lithgow,
from TV’s The Crown). Oldman’s
recent best actor win at the Golden
Globes and subsequent Bafta
nomination are well deserved.
More impressive still, the film
gives us Churchill jokes and quips,
his penchant for punning (he calls
Viscount Halifax “the Holy Fox”)
and an unexpectedly Falstaffian
nature — he spends a lot of screen
time in the toilet and is immensely
pleased with the blue-collar
imprecation: “Up your bum!” Kristin
Scott Thomas is a peerless match
as his wife, Clementine, taming
and chiding in equal measure.
There’s a strangely saccharine
third-act sequence, on the London
Underground, involving Churchill
and a carriage-full of grovelling
“commoners”. But it’s a tiny
qualitative blip in a film that
otherwise, as the man says, does
not flag or fail, but goes on to the
end, in some style.
Eric Clapton:
Life in 12 Bars
15, 131min
{{{{(
A two-hour documentary about Eric
Clapton? Cue an orgy of backslapping
and nerdy dissections of fretboard
technique. Actually, no. This is a dark
and honest heartbreaker, built around
a trio of tragedies: Clapton’s rejection
by his mother, who left him to be
brought up by his grandparents
and disdained him when they
met; his infatuation with Pattie
Boyd — the wife of his best
ffriend, George Harrison — whom
he eventually married, but alienated
through his alcoholism; and the death
of his four-year-old son, Connor, who
fell from the window of a skyscraper in
New York in 1991. Soaking it all are the
guitarist’s addictions to heroin, then
booze; the uncharitable might assume
that the title Life in 12 Bars relates to
the kind that served cognac. It of
course refers to the blues music with
which Slowhand is obsessed. He has
plenty of fuel for it. Ed Potton
the times | Friday January 12 2018
11
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music reviews
It’s punk rock for snowflakes
pop
Black Rebel
Motorcycle Club
Wrong Creatures
Shame display a
snotty spirit and
anarchy for a new
generation, says
Will Hodgkinson
Pias
{{{{(
Shame
Songs of Praise
P
Dead Oceans
{{{{(
art of the same south
London scene that
spawned art-rock
degenerates the Fat
White Family, Shame are
young (they have just
left school), angry (they
shout a lot), somewhat
political (they have a song about
Theresa May called Visa Vulture) and
tight (they played 130 shows last year).
They also have a stripped-back
urgency that is thrilling, offering proof
that there will always be a place for
bands with a handful of chords and a
burning rage at the world.
“Would you rather it’s real, or would
you rather it’s FAKE!” spits the singer
Charlie Steen on Concrete, summoning
the spirit of Public Image Ltd, Gang of
Four and other post-punk bands made
up of people with an aversion to
natural light and healthy eating.
“I’m not much to look at, and I ain’t
much to hear,” sings Steen, not exactly
selling himself on One Rizla, “but if
you think I love you, you’ve got the
wrong idea.’’ Not that any of this
should be taken too seriously.
On Gold Hole, a song about sexual
objectification, he screams: “She feels
so dirty, she knows it’s wrong, but she
feels so good in Louis Vuitton!” Never
has the name of a luxury brand been
made to sound so tawdry.
The appeal is that Shame seem to
have built up something from nothing,
something that could collapse back
into anarchy at any moment. When
they began in 2014, in a notorious
Shame, the politically-minded band from south London whose song Visa Vulture is about Theresa May
Brixton pub/rehearsal space/unofficial
drop-in centre called the Queens
Head, they had to borrow instruments
without asking from the marginally
more organised Fat White Family.
Yet they got it together enough
to play gigs a year later and quickly
built up a reputation as one of the
most exciting live bands in London,
not least for their tendency to
fight on stage. It all feeds into
an album that has confidence
fizzing out of every song, which,
with the exception of the closer,
Angie, a heartfelt ode to a girl who
committed suicide, are nasty, brutish
and short. It is the snotty spirit of
punk-rock defiance given an energy
shot for a new generation.
Their
strippedback
urgency is
thrilling
Original
soundtrack
I, Tonya
Milan
{{{{(
Long before Game of Thrones, there
was another battle between the forces
of good and evil played out in frozen
climes — the feud between the
golden girl of figure skating, Nancy
Kerrigan, and her snarling nemesis,
Tonya Harding.
I, Tonya tells the story of Harding’s
fight against the endemic snobbery
of a sport she didn’t fit the profile for
with a suitably broad, borderline
cheesy,
nostalgic
Margot Robbie
soundtrack
as Tonya
featuring
big
f
Harding
songs that scream
in I, Tonya
of frosted hair
and shopping malls.
Supertramp’s ode to a
one-night stand Goodbye
Stranger and Heart’s
rollicking, Led Zeppelin-like
Barracuda
line up alongside
B
Laura Branigan’s Gloria, a pocket
epic brimming with provincial disco
drama. A pedant might point out
that Seventies and Eighties songs
in a Nineties-set movie is a serious
case of period inauthenticity, but
then Harding, and to an extent
figure skating itself, always seemed
to belong to the Eighties — all
that thwarted ambition and
over-reliance on purple satin.
After a burst of hype when the music
papers hailed them as a revolutionary
force, rather than a trio of blokes with
leather jackets and knowledge of the
Velvet Underground’s back catalogue,
you would not have expected Black
Rebel Motorcycle Club to last.
Yet here we are, 17 years on, and
BRMC have returned with a nuanced
album that digs into their sound with
admirable obtuseness.
Echo sounds, suitably, like Echo
& the Bunnymen; Ninth Configuration
is the kind of slow-building epic that
indie bands used to build concerts
around. And age has brought gravitas
to the band. In 2010 the bassist Robert
Been’s father, also their producer, died
of a heart attack. In 2014 their
drummer Leah Shapiro developed a
brain tumour that, had it not been for
a fan-funding campaign for treatment,
would most likely have killed her.
No wonder they are inhabiting the
mood of gothic dread that once
seemed like an affectation.
Børns
Blue Madonna
Interscope
{{{((
With his androgynous good looks and
lustrous locks, the Michigan-born, Los
Angeles-based Garrett Borns is being
presented as a 21st-century Marc
Bolan, a gentle, angel-voiced cosmic
star with the potential for mass appeal.
In reality he is more like a male Lana
Del Rey (who duets with him here on
God Save Our Young Blood), filtering
stylised, heavily produced modern
pop through a gauzy, nostalgic lens.
The lullaby-like Sweet Dreams floats
on a cloud of harmony, while I Don’t
Want U Back recalls Prince’s most
tender moments. All of this can feel
insubstantial, but there are moments
— such as the sitar-led sunshine
pop of We Don’t Care — when his
gossamer-light approach comes alive.
What a voice she has — it’s just a shame about the opera
classical
Joyce DiDonato
Great Scott
Erato
{{{((
The American mezzo-soprano
Joyce DiDonato has reached
a point where she has not only
inspired a cute compilation
tion
album called ReJoyce,
but also had an opera
written for her and,
in some sense, about
her. Great Scott is a
2015 offering from the
popular, unfrightening
Jake Heggie, an
American composer
so prolific that he has
since dispatched another
er
opera, It’s a Wonderful Life,
and will probably have another
premiered next week.
There are limits to Heggie’s slightly
treacly but craftsmanlike skills, but his
gift for creative
partnerships is
crea
supreme.
suprem Here, the witty if
overstretched
libretto is
overs
by the
t distinguished
playwright
Terrence
pla
McNally,
who
M
collaborated
on
co
Heggie’s
first and
H
best-known
opera,
be
Dead
Dea Man Walking.
It’s
left,
It’s DiDonato,
D
though,
who makes Great
th
thoug
th
Scott
Sc spin
spi as far as it does.
She
Arden Scott, an
Sh plays Ar
Sh
who returns to her
international diva w
home city, hoping to boost its
struggling opera company with a
splashy production of her discovery, a
long-lost “bel canto” opera from 1835
by the imaginary Vittorio Bazzetti.
What company in real life would pin
salvation on staging a dusty relic that
no one knows? Still, the conceit gets
DiDonato singing watery pastiche
Bellini, scaling coloratura flights,
surviving a mad scene and crooning in
velvet; all pleasing to hear. The libretto
takes us through rehearsal and
performance, interwoven with personal
crises, prancing stereotypes, swatches
of Americana and enough comic
business to whip gales of audience
laughter at Dallas Opera’s premiere
run, caught in this live recording.
Listening at home, it’s hard
sometimes to know what’s so funny;
also hard to hear the words. I kept
feeling like a distant onlooker at
an annoyingly terrific party.
Even so, it’s easy to spot the star
turns. Aside from DiDonato, Nathan
Gunn stands out as Arden’s old
boyfriend, Ailyn Pérez has a ball as
an east European upstart singing
The Star-Spangled Banner at the Super
Bowl, and Anthony Roth Costanzo
is crisply effective as the company’s
stage manager.
An opera built to last? No. But
there’s always DiDonato, and it’s
a cold, grey January.
Geoff Brown
12
1G T
Friday January 12 2018 | the times
visual art
A poet’s paradise
and persecution
in the Sussex
countryside
William Blake’s rural sojourn is celebrated in a
new exhibition. Rachel Campbell-Johnston reports
W
illiam Blake
travelled
all his life
through the
bright lands
of the spirit.
“I have very
little of Mr
Blake’s company,” his wife once said.
“He is always in Paradise.” But when
it came to embarking on more
conventional journeys,
ys, the
great visionary proved
d
decidedly less
adventurous. He far
preferred London to
open rural expanses
and suffered badly
from nervous
bowel problems
— even to
begin reading
Wordsworth’s
Excursion would
apparently send
his intestines into
panicked tumult.
Tomorrow, however,
er,
a revelatory show opens
ens
at Petworth House in
n West
Sussex. William Blake in Sussex:
Visions of Albion focuses on a period
from 1800 to 1803 when, disillusioned
and struggling to make ends meet, the
impoverished poet and artist decided
to leave the capital and set up home
in the country for the only time in
his life. He moved with his wife,
Catherine, to a cottage in the village
of Felpham. There he passed three of
his most challenging (William Hayley,
his patron, would become his
“spiritual
but
spiritual enemy”),
ene
also prolif
prolific years.
Blake was at first
delighted
with this,
deligh
“the sweetest spot
on earth”. He wrote:
“In Felpham the
voices
of celestial
vo
inhabitants
are
in
more
distinctly
m
heard.”
In the
he
sparkling
light of
sp
the
th sea, which he
saw for the first
time,
tim he saw the
spirits
spirit of ancient poets
and
prophets taking
and pr
shimmering
form. He
shimme
heard
heard “the noise of souls” in
the
as they swept
th Sussex winds
th
wi
In his
thymescented
garden he
witnessed
a fairy
funeral
Left: William Blake
by Thomas Philipsoil,
1807. Above right:
Blake’s The Sea of
Time and Space, 1821
over cornfields. And in his thymescented garden he witnessed a fairy
funeral taking place.
It’s this sort of imaginary realm that
the exhibition reflects. Joining the
two great Blake works that belong to
Petworth are 50 works borrowed from
collections around Britain. They are
used to examine the “visions of
Albion” that Blake conjured up while
living in Sussex and to trace how, long
after his return to London, their
influences continued to shape the
course of his work.
Blake etches a tiny picture of his
cottage. It shows a lime-washed twoup, two-down with a lean-to at the
side, with the artist standing in front
in a neat patch of garden, deposited
there by the angel who hovers above.
Turning one downstairs room into
a studio, he embarked on what he
described as “three years [of]
Herculean labours”. He worked on
Britain’s best
forest walks
Ramble down secluded paths and trek past ancient trees
spotting owls, deer, otters and red squirrels. Plus, discover
secret places to stay from cabins and treehouses to cosy lodges.
Get back to nature with The Times tomorrow.
the times | Friday January 12 2018
13
1G T
ARLINGTON COURT, NATIONAL TRUST; THE TRUSTEES OF THE BRITISH MUSEUM; NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY, LONDON
a commission of biblical
watercolours and a series of
tempera portraits of poets; he
composed (among much else)
the line “And did those feet in
ancient time” and was inspired
to write his greatest illuminated
books, Milton and Jerusalem.
It was also during his time
there that, at the height of the
threat of Napoleonic invasion,
he was accosted by a drunken
soldier and as a result stood
trial for treason. Thanks to
the testimony of friends, the
“meek spiritualist” was
found innocent.
This exhibition captures
all aspects of this story. It
presents the Milton and
Spenser portraits, painted in
what Blake described as his “fresco
technique”, a dense layering of
tempera pigments building up to
Blake’s Plate 29 from
Milton a Poem, 1804
radio
create that distinctive crusty (and
unfortunately unstable and cracking)
surface that lends so many of Blake’s
works their peculiar, almost threedimensional effect. It gathers the
documentation related to his trial.
A highlight is Petworth’s 1808 Vision
of the Last Judgement, one of two great
Blakes that once belonged to Elizabeth
Ilive, the Countess of Egremont (a
small display near by encourages the
visitor to get to know her). This
fabulously intricate take on
Michelangelo’s Sistine fresco opens
before you like a kaleidoscopic pattern.
It is as visually mesmerising as it is
intellectually fascinating. If possible
bring a magnifying glass. Displayed
beside it is a draft of a letter that
doubles as a sort of iconographic key.
Moving between the rare and the
well known, this exhibition captures
the imagination. It’s just a pity that
the Blake painting of Chaucer and his
fellow pilgrims, which is kept at Pollok
House in Glasgow, was not lent to
hang beside Petworth’s Characters
from Spenser’s Faerie Queene.
The show serves another important
purpose. Only two of the residences
that Blake occupied have survived.
One is an apartment on an upper floor
in South Molton Street, London, now
a commercial property. The other is
the cottage in Felpham. When five
years ago it came on the market for
the first time since the Twenties it was
bought and placed in the care of the
Blake Cottage Trust. Now, with the aid
of funds donated by the film director
Alan Parker, MICA Architects
presents its designs for the restoration
and development of this cottage into
the only Blake museum in the world.
Models and drawings show a replica
of Blake’s 18th-century wooden rolling
press (researched by the Blake scholar,
printmaker and cottage trustee
Michael Phillips) installed in what was
once the artist’s studio. It will be
used for demonstrations. The
kitchen and three bedrooms will
be restored and 20th-century
additions to the cottage removed,
making way for a gallery of a
standard to reassure lenders from
prestigious collections.
The Blake Cottage Trust needs
to raise a minimum of £1 million.
This Petworth show should help to
rouse enthusiasms, not least when
you think that the renovation will
ensure that a part of the building
will be available for short-term let
to scholars, artists and the public.
As you leave Petworth, giddied by
Blake’s pictures, remember that
you could soon be sleeping where
Britain’s greatest visionary dreamt.
William Blake in Sussex: Visions of
Albion is at Petworth House, West
Sussex (01798 343929), from January
13 to March 25
Never mind The Killing,
this Scandi noir parody is
about as funny as a corpse
Catherine
Nixey
Radio
review
Angstrom
Radio 4
{((((
The Cameron Years
Y
Radio 4
{{{{(
ou can imagine
the delight in the
commissioning
meeting as Angstrom,
a Scandi noir parody,
was pitched. Most new
comedy series are a
shot in the dark, but
this is a literary mickey-take by the
pair who did the most famous and
successful literary parody of recent
years, the Ladybird Books for GrownUps. What could possibly go wrong?
Almost everything. Even by Radio 4
comic standards this was bad. The
set-up, created by Joel Morris and
Jason Hazeley, was that Knut
Angstrom, a Swedish detective, had
been called in to solve a murder in
a valley that was cold. “As cold as
gravadlax. Which is [and for the full
humour you must imagine this said in
a comedy Scandi accent] a fish dish
popular in Scandinavia.” Foreigners
are just so funny, aren’t they?
There’s a fine line between parody
and cliché, and this strode fearlessly
over it. The Ladybird books worked
so well because the originals were so
innocent. To prod them was like
making fun of a maiden aunt; it felt
mischievous and silly and fun. Scandi
noir, by contrast, is a genre so well
worn that it’s part parody anyway.
You will hardly need to be told that
the detective at the head of the case
was a brooding, lonely alcoholic
who hadn’t found anyone since
his wife had died.
We knew that his wife had died
because we heard her when he arrived
at his home. “Woooooo,” she said.
“I’m a ghost.” Honestly, she did. The
humour was aiming for the “so bad
it’s good” variety. What it achieved
was the so bad it’s bad. You could see
the gags being wheeled into position
long before the punchline came.
Take this line: “Mina sat on her
laptop in her car . . . Not sitting on her
laptop, like a chair. Because that made
the screen hard to see.” Even the
studio audience, who usually wheeze
like hyenas at the slightest
provocation, sounded dutiful rather
than delighted. Still, they should get
used to it. There are three more
episodes to go. Now that is noir.
When Julius Caesar was finally
assassinated in 44BC, his killing wasn’t
achieved by a single wound. Brutus’s
dagger thrust might be the famous
one, but an entire crowd of Caesar’s
friends and colleagues had surged
around, each eager to injure their
former leader. When Caesar’s body
was finally recovered it had no fewer
than 23 wounds.
There was a similar feel to Steve
Richards’s documentary The Cameron
David Cameron, the subject of
Steve Richards’s The Cameron Years
Years. Granted, David Cameron is no
Caesar. For one thing, whereas Caesar
famously captured Europe, Cameron
lost it. Nonetheless, there were so
many former colleagues and friends
jostling here to stick the knife in that
it was hard to see which wound was
the most lethal.
Although probably the mortal
dagger thrust was from Ken Clarke
when he said, in a voice alive with
scorn, that the idea of losing the
referendum had “never crossed
David’s mind . . . He’d never lost
anything in his life and he wasn’t
going to lose this.”
They came to bury Caesar. Not to
praise him. They killed him first, mind.
Lethal, brilliant radio.
Entertainments
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Friday January 12 2018 | the times
television & radio
A transformative look at the transgender world
Carol
Midgley
TV review
Transformation Street
ITV
{{{{(
Big Cats
BBC One
{{{{(
I
imagine it’s an occupational hazard
of any doctor specialising in
transgender surgery to hear a lot
of vagina puns. The message on a
bouquet of flowers arriving at the
London clinic from a grateful patient
in Transformation Street read:
“Thanks so much for my new vagina.
It’s fanny-tastic.” Which was quite
funny. Though if the surgeon had £1
for every time he’d heard that one etc.
Yet if you took this as a sign that this
would be a flippant skip through the
painful experiences of transgender
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Short Works
Radio 4, 3.45pm
Radio 4 is attempting to
revive the short story with
Short Works. It makes
sense: short stories play
perfectly in 15-minute slots
and are considerably easier
to do well than drama.
This one, by the author
Ian Sansom, is a cracker.
It’s the sort of story that
defies the question: “What
is it about?” It is about, in
no particular order, an
old tree house, chocolates
that are left outside a house
and how many uses there
are for a brick. More than
a hundred, apparently.
The Essay
Radio 3, 10.45pm
There are moments
when the Radio 3 schedule
starts to feel almost
indistinguishable from a
Dead Ringers parody of
it. This week’s series of
essays is one of those: the
topic it is focusing on is
stones and today’s essay
is looking at (drumroll)
clay bricks. In it, the
poet Fiona Hamilton
will contrast the different
states of clay — the squidgy
cooked kind versus the
hardness of a brick —
and look at how bricks
in all their guises have
transformed Britain.
What fun.
people, you would have been quite
wrong. Here was a sensitive, moving
and often harrowing documentary
charting the experience of those
who come to London Transgender
Surgery simply for a chance to live in
the right body and end, as one person
put it, the “war in my head”.
Many of the stories were sad, but
they were always bleakly fascinating:
the commando with a six-pack to
shame David Beckham’s who pursued
macho activities to try to silence the
certainty that he is a woman; the
loving mother who supported her only
daughter’s fervent desire to become a
man, rewarded by the pure joy on his
face when his breasts were removed;
Wendy, who was born male, but who
couldn’t bear to look below her waist
for years. All were breathtakingly
brave, mentally and physically.
It was hard to watch the scene in
which Wendy had her vaginal pack
removed (extracting the swab keeping
the newly created vagina open is one
of the most painful parts of the entire
procedure, we were told). Her screams
were so agonised that I muted the
volume. I couldn’t bear it. They also
served as a sharp corrective to anyone
who imagines that transgender people
submit to surgery as part of a fad.
The camera access during surgery
was extraordinary and not for the
fainthearted (groins must have flinched
around the country as the unwanted
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 The Official
Chart with Greg James. Top 40 rundown 5.45
Newsbeat 6.00 Radio 1’s Dance Anthems
with Greg James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 Pete
Tong 11.00 Danny Howard 1.00am B.Traits
4.00 Radio 1’s Essential Mix: Palms Trax
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce.
Including the daily love song and the Album
of the Week, plus Tracks of My Years, with
the singer-songwriter and actress Charlie
Dore 12.00 Amol Rajan 2.00pm Steve
Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo. Listeners pick the
music in another edition of All-Request
Friday 7.00 Tony Blackburn’s Golden Hour
8.00 Friday Night Is Music Night. James and
Oliver Phelps introduce magic-themed music,
featuring compositions by Patrick Doyle,
Nicholas Hooper, Alexandre Desplat and John
Williams, who all provided scores for the
Harry Potter films, along with The Sorcerer’s
Apprentice by Dukas, In the Hall of the
Mountain King by Grieg and Stravinsky’s
Firebird. Plus, music from the soundtracks of
Twilight, The Little Mermaid, The Wizard of
Oz, and the stage musical Wicked (r) 10.00
Sounds of the 80s. Sara Cox revisits the chart
hits of 1988 in the Megamix 12.00 Anneka
Rice: The Happening 2.00am Radio 2’s Funky
Soul Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: New to 2
4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: 21st Century Songs
5.00 Huey on Saturday
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Presented by Petroc Trelawny
9.00 Essential Classics
With Suzy Klein. 9.30 Listeners’ ideas for
potential companion pieces for a well-known
piece of music. 10.10 Time Traveller: A
quirky slice of cultural history 10.50 The
writer and broadcaster Sue MacGregor on the
things that have inspired and influenced her
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Schubert (1797-1828)
Donald Macleod focuses on Schubert’s life in
1826, hearing his monumental final string
quartet, and explaining his setting of
Goethe’s poignant Nur wer die Sehnsucht
kennt, aka None but the Lonely Heart
1.00pm News
Lucas was followed as he transitioned from female to male
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Music from the Dartington Festival and
the Two Moors Festival, both staged in
south-west England. From All Saint’s Church
in Dulverton, at the Two Moors Festival, the
Endellion String Quartet are joined by the
pianist Barry Douglas, to perform Brahms.
Plus, a recording of Schubert at the Great
Hall in Dartington, sung by the soprano
Carolyn Sampson with the pianist Joseph
Middleton. Schubert (Viola, D786); Brahms
(Piano Quartet No 1 in G minor, Op 25)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Performances by the BBC Philharmonic, with
six pieces conducted by Joshua Weilerstein.
Plus, the Philharmonic are joined by Nicholas
Collon in Stravinsky, the violinist Alina
Ibragimova and the conductor Leo Hussain
for Szymanowski, the soprano Sophie Bevan
and the conductor Edward Gardner in Berg,
and the conductor Manoj Kamps joins them
for Holst. Bach arr Webern (Ricercare a 6
— Musical Offering); Beethoven (Overture:
Leonora No 3); Debussy (Prelude a
l’aprés-midi d’un faune); Smyth (On the
Cliffs of Cornwall — Prelude to Act II, The
Wreckers); Webern (Five Pieces Op 10); Ives
orch Schumann (Variations on America);
John Luther Adams (The Light That Fills the
World); Stravinsky (Apollo); Szymanowski
(Violin Concerto No 1); Berg (Lulu —
symphonic pieces); and Holst (Egdon Heath)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty presents music, chat and arts
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
A playlist including Korngold’s music for The
Adventures of Robin Hood, music by Brahms,
Bach and Dvorak, and Sally Beamish’s
Seavaigers concerto for fiddle and harp
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
The BBC Philharmonic, conducted by
Edward Gardner in a programme book-ended
by Czech music, from the Bridgewater Hall in
Manchester, with the pianist Louis Lortie.
Presented by Tom Redmond. Smetana
(Overture: The Bartered Bride); Saint-Saëns
(Piano Concerto No 4; Rhapsodie d’Auvergne)
8.40 Berlioz (Royal Hunt and Storm —
The Trojans); and Janácek (Sinfonietta)
10.00 The Verb
Ian McMillan presents a showcase of new
writing, performance and global literature
10.45 The Essay: Cornerstones
Fiona Hamilton considers the different
states of clay, before and after it is baked.
See Radio Choice
11.00 World on 3
Lopa Kothari presents a live recording of the
Indian classical flautist Hariprasad Chaurasia
1.00am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
News headlines and analysis
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Desert Island Discs
Kirsty Young talks to Charlie Brooker (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week: Auntie’s War
Written and read by Edward Stourton. The
establishment of the BBC’s War Reporting
Unit. Abridged by Anna Magnusson (5/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Lively discussion. Including at 10.45 the 15
Minute Drama: Part 10 of Shardlake:
Heartstone, the fifth series of
CJ Sansom’s Tudor mysteries
11.00 Butterbeer and Grootcakes
The dedicated fans recreating culinary
delights from the pages of popular fiction (r)
11.30 The Pale Horse
By Agatha Christie, dramatised by Joy
Wilkinson. Mark Easterbrook cannot resist
looking into a series of deaths (2/3) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 The Curious Cases of
Rutherford & Fry
A laser powerful enough to project a spot
on the moon. Last in the series
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Conflict and Co-operation:
A History of Trade
How opening a country up to trade can make
it anxious about being dependent on the
outside world. Last in the series
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Stone
By Cath Staincliffe. DCI Stone tracks down
a key suspect. With Hugo Speer (5/10)
3.00 Gardeners’ Question Time
Matthew Wilson, Bunny Guinness and Anne
Swithinbank field horticultural questions
in Lancashire. Presented by Eric Robson
3.45 Short Works
What Does the Fox Say? by Ian Sansom.
See Radio Choice
4.00 Last Word
4.30 More or Less
Investigating numbers (1/6)
4.55 The Listening Project
A six-year-old finds his mother’s childhood
memories incomprehensible (r)
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
penis and testicles were discarded like
old giblets) and showed the artistry of
the surgeon Christopher Inglefield,
who creates brand new vaginas as if
out of thin air. As the clinic’s rather
droll receptionist said as she flicked
through close-up photos of his work:
“That looks better than mine.” She
must be a shoo-in for a pay rise.
Big Cats, I’m confident in saying,
caused households around the country
to watch ruthless killers savaging their
victims and cry: “Aww, bless, they’re so
cute. Look — he’s stretching just like
our cat.” Or was that just in our house?
The big cats featured here — lions,
cheetahs, leopards — were ridiculously
beautiful. As were the not so big ones,
such as the teeny rusty-spotted cat,
which was so cartoonishly adorable it
could have been drawn by Disney.
Perhaps to preserve that “ahh, cute”
sentiment, the film-makers largely
spared us the goriest moments of
their kills, focusing mostly on the
chase, although we did see the sad,
wing-flapping end of a penguin caught
by a puma in Patagonia, narrated in a
sad voice by Bertie Carvel. No Happy
Feet story arc for that penguin.
And what of that poor snow leopard
searching mournfully for love? There
was no Hollywood ending for him
either, his status remaining resolutely
“single”. This won’t do. These animals
need to get themselves an agent.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The News Quiz
With panellists Angela Barnes, Lucy Porter,
Lloyd Langford and Peter Oborne (2/8)
7.00 The Archers
Toby receives a shocking instruction
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 Shardlake: Heartstone (10/10) (r)
8.00 Any Questions?
Topical discussion from Wyedean School in
Sedbury, Gloucestershire
8.50 A Point of View
Reflections on a topical issue
9.00 Conflict and Co-operation:
A History of Trade
Omnibus. The UK’s trading past (1/2)
10.00 The World Tonight
News round-up
10.45 Book at Bedtime: The Vital Spark
— A Far Cry from Kensington
By Muriel Spark. As Mrs Hawkins makes
use of her contacts, she hopes to put her
professional troubles at the Ullswater Press
behind her. Read by Maggie Service (5/10)
11.00 Great Lives
A profile of politician Joseph Chamberlain,
who is said to be an influential figure on
the prime minister Theresa May (6/9)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Mark D’Arcy reports from Westminster
11.55 The Listening Project
A mother and her son reflect on their
relationship with his father
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
Auntie’s War (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again
8.30 Albert and Me 9.00 The Motion Show
9.30 After Henry 10.00 Lost Horizon 11.00
Behind the Screen 11.15 Rosa Parks 12.00
I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again 12.30pm
Albert and Me 1.00 Secret Agent: X9 1.30
The Howling Terror Mystery 2.00 In Siberia
2.15 Five Hundred Years of Friendship 2.30
More Tales of the City 2.45 Speaking for
Themselves 3.00 Lost Horizon 4.00 The
Motion Show 4.30 After Henry 5.00 The
Leopard in Autumn 5.30 The Break 6.00
I Am Legend 6.30 Soul Music 7.00 I’m Sorry
I’ll Read That Again. Comedy with Tim
Brooke-Taylor 7.30 Albert and Me. Comedy
drama starring Robert Lindsay 8.00 Secret
Agent: X9. Thriller by Dashiell Hammett
8.30 The Howling Terror Mystery.
Investigating an experiment in sound
amplification from 1900 9.00 Behind the
Screen. Inspector Rice probes Paul Dudden’s
death 9.15 Rosa Parks. The inspiration
behind a race revolution 10.00 Comedy Club:
The Break. Comedy, by Ian Brown and James
Hendrie 10.30 On the Hour. Spoof news
show with Chris Morris. From 1992 10.55
The Comedy Club Interview. A chat with a
guest from the world of comedy 11.00 I’ve
Never Seen Star Wars. Ann Widdecombe
goes camping 11.30 Life: An Idiot’s Guide.
With Paul Sinha, Andre Vincent, John Hegley
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 Chiles on
Friday 1.00pm The Friday Sports Panel 2.00
Kermode and Mayo’s Film Review 4.00 5 Live
Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport: The Friday Football
Social. A look ahead to the weekend’s
football action 10.00 Nihal Arthanayake
1.00am Up All Night 5.00 5 Live Boxing
with Costello & Bunce 5.30 Fit & Fearless
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
10.00 Jim White 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 The Two Mikes
1.00am Extra Time with Tom Latchem
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Iggy Pop 9.00 Tom Ravenscroft
12.00 Nemone’s Electric Ladyland
2.00am 6 Music Classic Concert. Texas at
the Tramway in Glasgow in 1994 3.00 6
Music Live Hour 4.00 The First Time with
Roy Harper 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00
The Full Works Concert. Music by the German
composer Max Bruch presented by Catherine
Bott. Bruch (Violin Concerto No.1 in G minor,
Op 28; Symphony No.1 in E-flat, Op 28; Kol
Nidrei, Op 47; Concerto for 2 Pianos and
Orchestra, Op 88a; and Adagio Appassionato,
Op 57) 10.00 Smooth Classics 1.00am
Katie Breathwick 4.00 Jane Jones
the times | Friday January 12 2018
15
1G T
HELEN MAYBANKS; MARILYN KINGWILL
Opera
The Return of Ulysses
Roundhouse, NW1
Theatre
Ovo
Royal Albert Hall
I
T
{{{{{
n Monteverdi’s great Homeric
opera the wandering Ulysses
certainly returns, slaying
Penelope’s feckless suitors and
reclaiming his wife and his home
— but does he stay? The most heartrending moment in John Fulljames’s
new staging comes right at the end,
and I won’t spoil it by revelation.
Suffice to say that it’s the most
emotive use of a revolve-stage
I have seen.
In fact, this enthralling show,
jointly mounted by the Royal Opera
and the Roundhouse, has two
concentric revolves. Right at the
centre of this massive Victorian
space sits the orchestra of Christian
Curnyn’s Early Opera Company:
15 fine players who caress the
bare bones of Monteverdi’s score
into wonderfully luscious, responsive
accompaniments. They slowly revolve
as the show progresses: a clever idea
that allows the audience (seating in
the round) to examine their visually
spectacular baroque instruments from
every angle.
Outside that is a circular catwalk
that also revolves, and it’s on this that
the action is played, with the singers
discreetly amplified. Played in
mesmerising fashion too, despite the
absence of scenery or props (except
for some multitasking balloons and
Telemachus’s precarious entry on a
tandem bike).
Roderick Williams has done many
fine things, but nothing better than
this tragic portrayal of Ulysses
returning not as hero, but as a
stumbling, violent figure, physically
wrecked and emotionally numbed by
long years of war. Christine Rice, his
Penelope, had no voice on first night
(the part was sung from the orchestra
pit with compelling verve by Caitlin
Hulcup), but she too presents a
conflicted figure, so wearied by years
of waiting that she had almost
abandoned hope.
Around them is a host of superbly
characterised figures, notably David
Shipley’s deep-voiced and
black-hearted suitor Antinous, Stuart
Jackson’s preposterously supersized
glutton Irus, and Samuel Boden as a
Telemachus so infatuated with Helen
of Troy that he wears a blond wig in
imitation. It’s exciting to see the Royal
Opera taking a risk for once by casting
charismatic young singers such as
Boden and Francesca Chiejina
alongside peerless veterans such as
Susan Bickley.
Fulljames opts for modern dress
and makes one bold directorial
intervention. He uses community
choirs from north London and
Thurrock to play a crowd of homeless
and starving migrants, displaced by
conflict and stranded on Ithaca
(where Penelope distributes bread
and water like an aid worker).
Clearly that strikes a provocative
contemporary note, which is fine —
but I’m not so sure about portraying
her three suitors as migrants too.
That diminishes their power and
social status and hence their threat to
Ulysses. Still, it’s a tiny quibble. This
is a terrific production — three hours
long, but unmissable.
Richard Morrison
Box office: 0300 6789222, to Jan 21
first night
{{{{(
Anthony Banks has captured much
of that menace, and, like Highsmith,
strives to make us complicit.
Guy is played by Jack Ashton (Call
the Midwife) as the classic American
good guy, the passionate architect, full
of ideals. Chris Harper chills as spoilt
rich boy Charles, lurching, clinking,
creepily in love with his mother
(Helen Anderson in a terrible wig). It
isn’t long before we, though not Guy’s
wife, Anne (superb Hannah Tointon),
realise that Charles is not harmless.
The set by David Woodhead
screams ambition: it is ingenious,
on two levels, with four sliding front
panels that reveal many different
rooms, like Cluedo, but better. We
flit from bar to office to mansion, the
lighting (Howard Hudson) noirish,
matched by the Miles Davis-esque
music. At times it feels as if we are
in an Edward Hopper painting.
The set does, on occasion, shudder
(WD40 may be required) and towards
the end the play lost impetus. It
requires tightening: in particular
the big reveal scene needs a reboot,
with a reminder that melodrama is
not a good look. At the end, though,
I couldn’t help but think: if only
Guy had sat in a quiet carriage, it
would all have been fine.
Box office: 0844 8717650, to Jan 13,
then touring to March 31
he Brazilian choreographer
Deborah Colker is the first
woman to direct a show for
the cultural behemoth that
is Cirque du Soleil, and it’s
no mean feat for her to have stamped
her personality on what has ballooned
into an often soulless global franchise.
Ovo (Portuguese for egg), a two-act
foray into a wildly colourful insect
community, shapes up into a largescale treat. It’s as warm as it is slick
and ranks as one of the best-designed
extravaganzas in Cirque’s huge body
of works.
Colker, who also provided the slight
but serviceable scenario, isn’t one to
indulge in pseudo-profundities. Ovo is
as child-friendly as a cartoon. The title
is a metaphor for the development of
new beginnings, herein pinned to the
budding and not always easy romance
between a buxom, strong-willed yet
sweet-tempered ladybird (Neiva
Nascimento, charming) and an
interloping bluebottle fly (FrançoisGuillaume Leblanc) who is first seen
carting a symbolic and, as the show
progresses, somewhat elusive egg on
his back. Overseen by a pompous
scarab beetle (Gerald Regitschnig), the
couple communicate using a variety of
sounds and gibberish sprinkled with
a bit of English. Yet, even given the
story’s simplicity, the production
manages to sidestep undue cutesiness.
The show guides us effortlessly into
a fecund realm populated by a swarm
of diverse bug characters endowed
with exceptional circus skills. There
are no dud acts. Among the most
striking are the astonishingly bendy,
hand-balancing dragonfly (Kyle
Cragle), a sleekly contorting white
spider (Ariunsanaa Bataa) and an
exhilarating troupe of trampolining,
wall-climbing male crickets.
The live soundtrack — laced with
Brazilian influences by the musical
director Berna Ceppas and delivered
by a small band of cockroaches — is
consistently pleasant. Even better are
Liz Vandal’s fruity costumes, enhanced
by Julie Bégin’s equally detailed makeup designs. It is all handsomely framed
by Gringo Cardia’s expansive, floridly
textured set. In short, Ovo is a fertile
marriage of eye-popping visuals and
smooth derring-do.
Donald Hutera
Box office: 020 7589 8212, to March 4
suffering wife (Shirley Henderson, left)
to look after, his pregnant black
adoptive daughter Marianne (a namemaking role for Sheila Atim) to marry
off and his affair with a glamorous
widow (Debbie Kurup) to conduct.
Then there’s the boxer, the preacher,
the couple and their disabled son . . .
Once we’ve worked out who’s who,
though, dialogue flows into a Dylan
song and back in a way that deepens
the emotions of both. Actors play
instruments alongside the onstage
band or form an upstage chorus.
Lucy Hind’s bewitching choreography
blends into Rae Smith’s evocative
design which blends into Simon Hale’s
musical arrangements, which do
unexpected, tender things even to
the few hits here (I Want You, Like a
Rolling Stone, Jokerman). The ensemble
is outstanding. No weak links.
Dylan fans will find it fascinating
and ingenious. For a while in Act II
great song segues into great song (Girl
from the North Country, Hurricane,
Idiot Wind) and it’s all the meaning we
need. Dylan non-believers will find —
thanks to powerful, lucid singing all
round, although Atim and Henderson
particularly knock you out — the
beauty in the writing that his
sandpaper voice can conceal.
And between the music and the
words, the sense of ageing, losing,
desire and frustration registers deeply.
The poverty is palpable, but so is the
sense of survival.
Taking old ingredients as his
starting point, McPherson has come
up with something bewitchingly
original. It’s pure stage magic.
Dominic Maxwell
Box office: 0844 4825140, to March 24
Chris Harper, left, as Charles Bruno and Jack Ashton as Guy Haines in Strangers on a Train
A nightmare commute
It could do with
tightening, but
this production
of the ultimate
psycho-thriller
still chills, says
Ann Treneman
Theatre
Strangers
on a Train
Theatre Royal
Brighton
{{{((
Theatre
Girl from the
North Country
Noël Coward
Theatre, WC2
{{{{{
W
e first see Charles
and Guy on a train,
one seated behind
the other. Charles
keeps standing up,
staggering around, waving a hip flask
and generally behaving as if it’s Friday
night on the Southeastern line. “Do
you want a drink?” he slurs, waving at
Guy, who is reading a book. It is at this
moment that Guy makes the fatal
mistake: he looks up.
Don’t do it, I felt like shouting, for all
commuters know that his fate is now
sealed. The drunk, emboldened by eye
contact, is now unstoppable. Sure
enough, within seconds, Charlie is
opposite Guy, pouring scotch and
asking him what he’s reading. (Plato,
so it’s exactly like Southeastern, then.)
“I think every man has a murder
inside of him,” shouts Charles, who
hates his father because he won’t give
him enough money. Who does Guy
hate? Guy won’t say, but soon he’s
revealing that his wife is cheating
on him. This infuriates Charles, who
thinks she deserves to die.
This is Craig Warner’s adaptation
of Patricia Highsmith’s intricate, dark
1950 novel, which Alfred Hitchcock
made into an unforgettable film.
Highsmith is the queen of the psycho
thriller with her plots drip, drip,
dripping with foreboding. The director
‘I
t wasn’t what I was expecting at
all,” said a fellow theatregoer as
we wiped the tears from our eyes
at the end of this incredible Bob
Dylan musical. And how could it
be, since the writer and director Conor
McPherson has created something
that none of us has seen before (well,
unless we saw the show when it
opened at the Old Vic last summer).
McPherson has written a tale of
thwarted desire and desperate
circumstances in wintry, Depressionera Duluth, Minnesota (Dylan’s home
town). And he has stuck in about 20
Dylan songs to help him to tell the
story. The result transports the soul.
That’s despite what first appears to
be a bewildering quantity of characters
to get to know. The play is set in the
struggling guesthouse run by Nick
(Ciarán Hinds), who has his dementia-
16
1G T
Friday January 12 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
James Jackson
The Wine Show
Channel 5, 7pm
The first
series of this
celebration
of wines the
world over was on ITV
and had the resting
actors Matthew Goode
and Matthew Rhys
idling about Umbria
Early
Top
pick
and quaffing their way
through bottles of the
stuff. Against the odds
it was rather splendid,
so why ITV has allowed
Channel 5 to snap it up
is a mystery. A grownup show about wine,
full of gorgeously shot
sunny locales — what’s
not to like? Goode’s
new sidekick in a rustic
French villa is the actor
James Purefoy (Rhys
is in London, testing
wine gadgets), while
Jancis Robinson joins
the show’s resident
oenophile Joe Fattorini
in educating the thesps
and us in the ways of
the grape. Despite the
actorly double-act
being the headline
draw, Fattorini does
the lion’s share, going
out on the road to test
vineyards around the
world. In tonight’s
show he is doing the
Sideways thing, trying
pinot noirs in Santa
Barbara country, the
novelty being that
he’s joined by the
British comedian
Gina Yashere. The joke
is that she hates wine
and has never even
heard of pinot noir, and
you may find her proud
ignorance a touch
grating (Fattorini, in
turn, tries his hand at
stand-up comedy).
Fattorini’s expertise
is entirely infectious.
Take, for example,
his insights into what
your taste in coffee tells
you: if you enjoy the
bitterness of a double
espresso, you’ll enjoy
an oaky chardonnay;
cappuccino-lovers
on the other hand
(who may have more
tastebuds) will find oak
overwhelming. Try a
pinot grigio instead.
Room 101
BBC One, 8.30pm
The umpteenth series
of this consistently
witty format begins
with the Black Mirror
creator Charlie
Brooker telling the
host Frank Skinner that
he would consign to
oblivion “anything he
doesn’t want to do” —
a broad category that
leads to an amusing
riposte by Skinner on
the concept of deferred
gratification. It’s proof
that primetime comedy
can be quick-witted.
Then we have the
reality show regular
Scarlett Moffatt talking
about why she hates
Crocs (the waterproof
shoes), yet it’s still
funny. The final guest
in a very amiable
half-hour is the Doctor
Who star Pearl Mackie.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Holidays. A look
at issues viewers have had with apparently “free”
cancellations 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer.
Properties in Northern Ireland and southern England (r)
(AD) 11.00 Wanted Down Under. A couple looking for a
better work-life balance in New Zealand 11.45 Close
Calls: On Camera. A speedboat trip sees the vessel
swamped by a wave 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Two teams
search for antiques in Kedleston, Derbyshire (AD) 1.00
BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather 1.45 Doctors. Ruhma struggles to accept Besa’s
imminent deportation (AD) 2.15 Father Brown. The
sleuth races to protect a crown that contains a nail from
the crucifixion of Christ. Last in the series (AD) 3.00
I Escaped to the Country. A couple who wished to start a
smallholding in the Welsh Border region 3.45 The
Farmers’ Country Showdown. A bid to win the year’s
Against the Odds category at the British Farming Awards
4.30 Antiques Road Trip. Anita Manning conducts some
expensive French transactions 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show
hosted by Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30 The Farmers’
Country Showdown (r) 7.15 Antiques Road Trip (r) 8.00
Sign Zone: MasterChef: The Professionals (r) (AD, SL)
9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
12.00 Daily Politics 1.00pm Coast. Visiting Looe and
Falmouth (r) 1.15 Himalaya with Michael Palin. The
adventurer journeys along the Yangtze river into China,
where he meets Mosuo singer Namu (r) 3.15 The Great
British Winter. Ellie Harrison concludes her journey with a
trip to the Shetland archipelago. Here she discovers that
life is far from dull in this bleak season. Last in the series
(r) 4.15 Great Barrier Reef with David Attenborough. The
naturalist examines what the future holds for the natural
wonder, before embarking on an ambitious attempt to
dive further into the reef than ever before. Last in the
series (r) (AD) 5.15 Flog It! A collection of interesting
and previously unseen finds, with visits to St Albans,
Wolverhampton Art Gallery, the Platform in Morecambe
and Grimsby Minster. Paul Martin presents (r) 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine 6.30 Great
British Railway Journeys. Michael Portillo investigates
the first radio signal to be sent across the Atlantic (AD)
6.00am Good Morning Britain. The American actor Chevy
Chase reflects on the highs and lows of his 50-year career,
and looks ahead to his forthcoming one-off show in
London 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current affairs and
fashion news, as well as showbiz stories, cooking and
celebrity gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat
show 10.30 This Morning. Chat and lifestyle features,
including a look at the stories making the newspaper
headlines and a recipe in the kitchen 12.30pm Loose
Women. Interviews and topical debate from a female
perspective 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
Robert Rinder takes on real-life cases in a studio
courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal. David Dickinson
reviews some memorable moments from past episodes.
Stewart Hofgartner waxes lyrical about some letter seals
and Jo Brayshaw seeks to get her hands on a Flambe
vase 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz show in which contestants drop
tokens down a choice of four chutes in the hope of
winning a £10,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh
presents as contestants pit their wits against the Chaser
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.15am Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (r) 6.20 3rd Rock from
the Sun (r) (AD) 7.10 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.35
Frasier (r) 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
Gordon Ramsay helps the owners of a restaurant in West
Babylon, New York (r) 11.00 Sun, Sea and Selling
Houses. A special needs teacher seeks a holiday home in
southern Spain (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary
12.05pm Live Darts: BDO Lakeside World Professional
Championships. Rob Walker presents coverage of the
afternoon session on the seventh day of the tournament
staged at Lakeside Country Club in Frimley Green,
featuring matches the quarter-finals of the men’s
competition and the semi-finals of the ladies’ competition
5.00 Come Dine with Me. Four people from Hertfordshire
host their way to the £1,000 prize. First up is
stay-at-home mum Mabs, who wants to show her guests
an authentic African evening (r) 6.00 The Simpsons. Bart
discovers a hidden musical talent and quickly becomes an
acclaimed jazz drummer — making Lisa envious of his
success. With the voices of the White Stripes (r) (AD)
6.30 Hollyoaks. Scott tries to explain to Damon about
what he saw happening between Maggie and Brody (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and the panel debate the day’s issues before
opening the discussion to the studio audience and inviting
viewers to call in or text their opinions 11.15 GPs: Behind
Closed Doors. An excited young couple seek confirmation
from the doctor about their first pregnancy (r) (AD)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel Inspector.
Alex Polizzi tackles the Caspian, a 10-bedroom hotel in
Ealing, west London, that desperately needs to be brought
up to date to attract more guests (r) 1.10 Access 1.15
Home and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS.
The team delves into Vance’s troubled past in an effort to
trap a vengeful assassin who is determined to strike back
at him by targeting his family (r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: The
Perfect Stalker (12, TVM, 2016) An unstable woman
invents a stalker in order to attract the help of a
handsome neighbour, upon whom she has fixed her
attentions. Thriller starring Danielle Savre and Jefferson
Brown 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Mishti and
Leo’s relationship is tested as she pursues her inquiries
(r) (AD) 6.00 Home and Away. Olivia is horrified her
designs have been stolen (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
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7.00 The One Show With Michelle
Ackerley and Patrick Kielty
7.00 Rick Stein’s Road to Mexico The
chef lands in the town that placed
Tequila on the map and explores
Guadalajara, the city that gave the
rest of the world Mariachis and dishes
like Carne con Chilli (4/7) (r) (AD)
7.00 Emmerdale Cain is concerned about
Moira’s plans, Laurel is worried, and
Harriet is full of self-doubt (AD)
8.00 EastEnders Whitney is shocked to
discover a pregnancy test in the bin
and confronts Tiffany about it (AD)
8.00 Mastermind Specialist subjects
include Leonardo da Vinci and
The Inbetweeners
8.00 River Monsters The angler Jeremy
Wade investigates a mysterious sea
creature in Indonesia (2/6)
8.30 Room 101 New series. With guests
Charlie Brooker, Scarlett Moffatt and
Pearl Mackie. See Viewing Guide (1/9)
8.30 A Vicar’s Life New series.
Documentary following the lives of
vicars in the diocese of Hereford.
See Viewing Guide (1/6) (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Eileen’s faith in
Phelan is shaken, Gemma dumps
Henry, and Craig is intrigued by
Bethany’s new friend Sam (AD)
9.00 Would I Lie to You? With Ade
Edmondson, Claude Littner, Cariad
Lloyd and Jordan Stephens (8/10)
9.00 Rome Unpacked The chef Giorgio
Locatelli and the art critic Andrew
Graham-Dixon explore the Basilica
di San Clemente, the Testaccio
Slaughterhouse and the Palazzo
Colonna. See Viewing Guide (2/2) (AD)
9.00 Lethal Weapon New series.
Murtaugh follows Riggs to Mexico,
where the plan is to avenge his wife’s
death and finish off Tito Flores once
and for all. Clayne Crawford and Damon
Wayans star. See Viewing Guide (AD)
9PM
8PM
7.30 A Question of Sport With guests
Emily Diamond, Mark Foster, James
Horwill and Mark Stoneman (r)
11PM
10PM
9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Dermot
announces his choice of best man
for the wedding (3/6) (r)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.25 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.35 The Graham Norton Show The host
is joined by Meryl Streep and Tom
Hanks, co-stars of Steven Spielberg’s
new political drama The Post. The
actress Maisie Williams and the boxer
Anthony Joshua also grace the sofa
11.25 Witless New series. Rhona finds
herself trapped in Willy Whelan’s
secret weapons room (1/5)
Late
11.50 Sticky Adult animated sitcom
12.20am-6.00 BBC News
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 The Wine Show New series. The
actors Matthew Goode and James
Purefoy travel to the south of France to
find wines to accompany a six-course
lunch chosen by the chef Stephane
Reynaud. See Viewing Guide (1/7)
8.00 Jamie and Jimmy’s Friday Night
Feast Guest Warwick Davis joins
Jamie Oliver and Jimmy Doherty at
their cafe for the cooking lesson of a
lifetime. Plus, a look at how crucial
British bees are to the agricultural
system (8/12) (AD)
8.00 Costa Del Celebrity Anne Diamond,
Nick Owen, Ainsley Harriott, Christine
Hamilton and Vicki Michelle explore
Benidorm, a mecca for thousands of
British tourists each year (2/4)
9.00 The Big Fat Quiz of Everything
Vic Reeves, Bob Mortimer, Claudia
Winkleman, Miranda Hart, Jonathan
Ross and Nish Kumar answer Jimmy
Carr’s questions on the past 100,000
years of human history
9.00 Celebrity Big Brother: Live
Eviction Emma Willis presents a
round-up of yesterday’s highlights
before announcing whether India or
Jonny is the least favourite of the
nominees. Continues at 10.35
7.30 Coronation Street Chesney prepares
to marry Sinead, while she has doubts
about going through with it (AD)
10.00 QI With guests Sarah Millican,
Cariad Lloyd and Alice Levine
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.00 Will & Grace Jack becomes
determined to reclaim his youthful
allure by any means necessary
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Kirsty Wark
10.30 Regional News
10.35 Celebrity Big Brother: Live
Eviction Emma Willis chats to
either India or Jonny
11.05 Deep Water A guilt-ridden Nick and
Tori investigate the death of Toohey,
and his links to the Pointers gang,
while CSO Brenda turns her attention
to the Thrustr Killer, who is still at
large. First shown on BBC Four (3/4)
10.45 Take Me Out A hairdresser, a rugby
player, a children’s entertainer and a
student try to impress 30 single
women and win a date. Paddy
McGuinness presents (1/9) (r)
11.55 Deep Water (4/4)
11.45 Through the Keyhole With
Eamonn Holmes, Emma Bunton and
Jonathan Ross (3/8) (r)
12.50am Sign Zone: Millionaire Bankrupts Exposed
— Panorama The methods used to hide assets and
retain wealth of those declared bankrupt (r) (SL)
1.20-2.05 Annie: Out of the Ashes. A woman tries to
find out the truth about a fire when she was a baby that
left her with severe facial scarring (r) (SL)
12.35am Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to
participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of
their sofas 3.00 Alphabetical. Quiz in which contestants
answer questions based around letters of the alphabet.
Their aim is to win a jackpot that increases in size each
time it is not won (r) (SL) 3.45-6.00 ITV Nightscreen
11.05 First Dates Hotel The spin-off
returns as Fred and his team head to a
hotel in Italy to welcome singletons
from all over the UK, including an
87-year-old exercise fanatic (r) (AD)
11.05 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on the
Side Rylan Clark-Neal presents the
companion show, including guests’
thoughts on tonight’s eviction and
behind-the-scenes insights
12.10am FILM: Amy (15, 2015) Documentary portrait
of the soul, jazz and R’n’B singer-songwriter Amy
Winehouse, who died in July 2011 (AD) 2.30 Kiri (r) (AD,
SL) 3.20 Grand Designs Australia (r) 4.15 Coast vs
Country (r) (AD) 5.10 Location, Location, Location (r)
(SL) 5.45-6.05 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am Celebrity Big Brother: The
Eviction (r) 4.25 Lip Sync Battle UK: Rufus Hound v
Jorgie Porter. Melanie Brown and Professor Green present
the game show as the comedian and the actress go head
to head (r) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Wildlife SOS
(r) (SL) 5.35 Nick’s Quest (r) (SL) 5.50-6.00 Access
the times | Friday January 12 2018
17
1G T
television & radio
A Vicar’s Life
BBC Two, 8.30pm
Times are changing.
Congregations are
ageing and faith is
waning. So here’s a
new series that follows
the lives and work of
vicars in the Diocese
of Hereford as they
look for ways to stay
a relevant part of their
community. And as
befits any thoroughly
English documentary,
there is an eccentric to
pep it up — in this case
the larky Rev Matthew
Stafford, who is doing
great things at the
church at the heart
of the locals’ lives.
“He just makes church
very now,” says one
of his flock. “Very
today.” Ensconced
in the beautiful
countryside, it’s like a
less world-weary Rev.
Rome Unpacked
BBC Two, 9pm
Transport yourself
to Rome, if you will,
and there you’ll find
Andrew Graham-Dixon
and Giorgio Locatelli
zooming about on a
moped visiting sites
such as the Basilica
of Saint Clement,
a “vertical time
machine”. The deeper
under the chapel you
go the farther back in
history you go, and the
pair enter a catacomb
to see 2,000-year-old
murals of the Mithraic
cult. It’s an hour full of
such high-culture
wonders with much
gastro-archaeology
(such as a massive old
slaughterhouse) and
recipes. “Mamma mia,”
Graham-Dixon cries in
delight as he bites into
a kidney sandwich.
Lethal Weapon
ITV, 9pm
The buddy-cop action
series returns after its
well-received first
series last year. It’s still
terrific Friday-night
entertainment, at once
smart and snappy and
as dumb as popcorn.
Detective Riggs
(Clayne Crawford),
the crazy half of the
duo, is still hell-bent
on avenging his
wife’s death — which
soon leads to him
and Murtaugh
(Damon Wayans), his
long-suffering partner,
being the target
of drug-cartel heavies.
Once again the plot
is elevated by the
bromantic bickering
between the pair and
much warm humour
among Murtaugh
and his family.
Sport Choice
Sky Main Event, 7pm
It’s the Steel City derby
as Sheffield United and
Sheffield Wednesday
clash at Bramall Lane
(kick-off 7.45pm). After
a flying start to the
season, the Blades
are recovering from
a slump that left them
outside the play-offs.
However, the Owls
continue to struggle.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Futurama (r) 7.00 Monkey Life (r) (AD)
8.00 Meerkat Manor (r) 9.00 Road Wars (r)
10.00 Stargate Atlantis (r) 11.00 MacGyver (r)
12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii
Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00
Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00 The Simpsons (r)
6.00 Futurama. People switch minds (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Back-to-back episodes (r)
8.30 Modern Family. Phil decides a solo camping
trip will help boost his confidence
9.00 Delicious. Everyone gathers for a feast to
mark the first anniversary of Leo’s death, but
passions soon boil over. A member of staff
reveals a secret that shocks Gina (3/4)
10.00 FILM: Mission — Impossible (PG,
1996) A secret agent is accused of betraying his
fellow spies, and sets out on a mission to clear
his name. Action thriller based on the 1960s
television series starring Tom Cruise
12.00 The Force: North East (r) 1.00am Hawaii
Five-0 (r) 3.00 The Blacklist (r) (AD) 4.00 Stop,
Search, Seize (r) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r)
6.00am Fish Town (r) 7.00 The British (r) (AD)
8.00 Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00 House.
A college student suffers nosebleeds (r) (AD)
6.00 House. Last-ever episode (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. A man
implicates himself in his wife’s death (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Frank contends with a
conflicted priest who will not break the seal of
confession to help find a missing child (r) (AD)
9.00 Game of Thrones. Jon organises the
defence of the North, Cersei tries to even the
odds, and Daenerys comes home (r)
10.10 Game of Thrones. Daenerys receives an
unexpected visitor, Jon faces a revolt, and Tyrion
plans the conquest of Westeros (r) (AD)
11.20 Game of Thrones. Daenerys holds court,
and Jaime learns from his mistakes (r) (AD)
12.30am Dexter (r) 2.50 Banshee (r) (AD)
4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese: A
Year to Save My Life USA 8.00 Chicago Fire (r)
9.00 Criminal Minds (r) 10.00 Cold Case (r)
11.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia 12.00 House
Hunters International (r) 1.00pm To Catch a
Smuggler: JFK Airport (r) (AD) 2.00 Nothing to
Declare (r) 4.00 Chicago Fire (r) 5.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r)
6.00 The Chef’s Line
6.30 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
7.00 Criminal Minds. A missing woman’s
body is discovered in an alley (r)
8.00 Elementary. A beekeeper is murdered (r)
9.00 The Good Doctor
10.00 Unforgettable (r)
11.00 Unforgettable (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Cold Case. Rush reopens a murder
investigation (r) 2.00 Criminal Minds (r) 3.00
Scandal (r) (AD) 4.00 The Chef’s Line (r) 4.30
The Real A&E (r) (AD) 5.00 Nothing to Declare
(r) 5.30 The Best of Nothing to Declare (r)
6.00am Lang Lang: New York Rhapsody 7.45
Ludovico Einaudi: Elements — Live 9.00 Tales of
the Unexpected (AD) 9.30 Hollywood: Singing
and Dancing (AD) 10.45 Monty Python’s
Personal Best 12.00 Too Young to Die (AD)
1.00pm Discovering: James Mason (AD) 2.00
Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.30 Hollywood:
Singing and Dancing (AD) 3.45 Monty Python’s
Personal Best 5.00 Too Young to Die (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Marilyn Monroe. (AD)
7.00 Breezin’: The George Benson Story.
Documentary about the American soul singer
8.00 Live from the Artists Den. Alabama Shakes
perform in front of around 500 fans at the
Loveless Barn in Nashville, Tennessee
9.00 Phil Collins: Going Back to Detroit
10.00 Joe Cocker: Mad Dog with Soul.
Documentary charting the rise of the singer
11.45 Soul Power! The origins of soul music
12.45am Marvin Gaye: Greatest Hits Live.
A 1976 concert 1.45 Heimat 4.45 South Bank
Masterclasses: Paul Noble 5.00 Auction
6.00am Live EurAsia Cup Golf. The second
session on day one 7.00 Good Morning Sports
Fans 8.00 Live European Tour Golf. The BMW
SA Open 10.00 Premier League Daily 11.00
Transfer Centre 11.30 Sky Sports Daily 12.00
Live European Tour Golf. The BMW SA Open.
Further coverage of the second day’s play at the
City of Ekurhuleni in Gauteng, South Africa,
where England’s Graeme Storm was the winner
last year 3.00pm Transfer Centre 3.30 Sky
Sports News 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6
7.00 Live EFL: Sheffield United v Sheffield
Wednesday (Kick-off 7.45). Coverage of the
Steel City Derby in the Championship, taking
place at Bramall Lane, where the Blades will be
looking to claim their second victory of the
season over their fierce rivals
10.00 The Debate. Premier League discussion
11.00 Live One-Day International Cricket.
New Zealand v Pakistan. The third one-day
international at University Oval in Dunedin
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 1.15pm Himalaya with
Michael Palin. The intrepid traveller reaches
Tibet (r) 2.15-3.15 Himalaya with Michael
Palin. The adventurer travels along the Yangtze
river (r) 7.00-8.00 Rick Stein’s Road to Mexico.
The chef heads from San Diego to Tijuana for
the start of his Mexican adventures, sampling
flour tortilla burritos and fresh fish (r)
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BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 3.15pm-4.15 The Great
British Winter. Ellie Harrison visits Britain’s
largest estuarine habitat in Morecambe Bay to
discover the best-kept secrets of the winter
landscape, including an unusual gentlemen’s
club of grey seals on Walney Island (r)
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 The Strait. Life
during winter around the Menai Straits, when
the boatmen Stan and Emrys repair their boats,
and the landscape photographer Glyn escapes
to the surrounding snowcapped hills
STV
As ITV except: 12.35am Teleshopping 1.35
After Midnight 3.10 Tenable. A team of tram
workers from Sheffield answer questions about
top 10 lists, then try to score a perfect 10 in
the final round (r) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
To subscribe visit tlssubs.imbmsubs.com/JS Or call 01293 312178 and quote code JS
UTV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 UTV Life. An
entertaining mix of stories and studio guests
with which to usher in the weekend 12.35am
Teleshopping 2.05-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm World News Today; Weather
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1985. Featuring Smiley
Culture, Madonna and Band Aid (r)
8.10 The Good Old Days. Arthur Askey, Ted
Durante & Hilda, Sheila Buxton, Liz Robertson
and Billy Dainty entertain an audience from the
stage of the Leeds City Varieties (r)
9.00 David Bowie: Five Years in the Making of
an Icon. Exploring five key years in the singer’s
career, which saw him redefine himself by
adopting different personas — including Ziggy
Stardust and the Thin White Duke (r)
10.30 David Bowie and the Story of Ziggy
Stardust. Jarvis Cocker narrates this insight into
how the singer created his glam-rock alter ego
Ziggy Stardust. Featuring contributions by Elton
John, Marc Almond and Holly Johnson (r) (AD)
11.30 Glam Rock at the BBC. A celebration of
the pop and rock that lit up the British charts in
the early 1970s, featuring T. Rex, David Bowie,
Roxy Music, Alice Cooper and others (r)
12.30am Top of the Pops: 1985 (r) 1.15
Northern Soul: Living for the Weekend (r)
2.15-3.15 David Bowie and the Story of Ziggy
Stardust. Jarvis Cocker narrates (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Coach Trip:
Road to Tenerife (r) (AD) 7.30 Streetmate (r)
8.00 Charmed (r) 9.00 Melissa & Joey (r) (AD)
10.00 Baby Daddy (r) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(r) (AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 1.00pm
The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 Melissa &
Joey (r) (AD) 3.00 Baby Daddy (r) 4.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The
Goldbergs. Double bill (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Grace tries to take control of
Glenn’s job (AD)
7.30 Coach Trip: Road to Tenerife (AD)
8.00 The Crystal Maze: Celebrity Special.
With Joel Dommett, Jermaine Jenas, Adil Ray,
Tamara Wall and Rylan Clark-Neal (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: American Reunion (15, 2012)
Comedy sequel starring Jason Biggs
11.15 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.45 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.15am Gogglebox (r) (SL) 1.20 Tattoo Fixers
(r) (AD) 2.25 The Crystal Maze: Celebrity
Special (r) (AD) 3.20 Celebs Go Dating (r) (AD)
4.10 Rude(ish) Tube (r) 4.35 Charmed (r)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) 9.30 A Place in the
Sun: Home or Away (r) 10.30 Four in a Bed (r)
1.05pm Come Dine with Me (r) 3.50 A Place in
the Sun: Home or Away (r) 5.55 The Secret Life
of the Zoo (r) (AD)
6.55 The Supervet. A couple’s German shepherd
has a life-threatening tumour (r)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud revisits a
prefabricated-home project in west Cumbria to
find out whether Alan and Judith Dawson are
happy with the finished product (11/12) (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: Red Eye (12, 2005) A hotelier on
a flight to Miami realises a passenger she has
befriended is intent on involving her in a
political assassination. Thriller starring
Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy
10.40 24 Hours in A&E. The A&E staff of King’s
College Hospital treat patients involved in
accidents, including a construction worker who
got trapped under a cherry picker (r) (AD)
11.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA. The
chef helps a restaurant in California (r)
12.40am Ramsay’s Hotel Hell. Part one of two.
A Vermont B&B (r) (AD) 1.35 Grand Designs (r)
(AD) 2.45-3.30 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am Winchester ’73 (U, 1950) (b/w)
12.50pm 20 Million Miles to Earth (PG,
1957) Sci-fi thriller (b/w) 2.30 Rio Grande
(U, 1950) Western (b/w) (AD) 4.35 The
Frogmen (U, 1951) Second World War thriller
starring Richard Widmark (b/w) (AD)
6.30 Darkest Hour Interview Special
6.40 GI Joe: Retaliation (12, 2013) An elite
military team battles a terrorist organisation
that has replaced the US president. Adventure
sequel with Dwayne Johnson and Bruce Willis
8.50 Three Billboards Interview Special
9.00 The Gunman (15, 2015) After spending
years in hiding, a mercenary becomes the latest
target of his former colleagues. Crime drama
starring Sean Penn and Idris Elba
11.15 Insidious: Chapter 3 (15, 2015) Gifted
psychic Elise Rainier uses her powers to contact
the dead to help a girl who has been targeted by
a supernatural entity. Horror prequel starring
Dermot Mulroney, Stefanie Scott and Lin Shaye
1.10am-3.00 Pusher (18, 2012) A drug
dealer ends up in debt to a sadistic gangster and
faces a race against time to pay back the money.
Crime thriller remake starring Richard Coyle
6.00am Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records (r) 6.55 Dress to Impress (r) 7.45
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.50 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold (r) 9.25 The Ellen DeGeneres Show (r)
10.10 Who’s Doing the Dishes? (r) 11.10 Dress
to Impress (r) 12.10pm Emmerdale (r) (AD)
1.15 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 1.45 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.50 Take Me Out (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold: A-Z. Harry Hill
narrates camcorder calamities (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Walden has a date
with an accident-prone model
8.30 Superstore. Olympic fever hits the store,
and Amy meets a hero from her childhood (AD)
9.00 FILM: Paul (15, 2011) A captive alien
escapes from a military base and seeks the help
of two comic-book geeks in getting to his
spaceship. Sci-fi comedy with Simon Pegg
11.10 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.40 Family Guy (r) (AD)
12.10am American Dad! Double bill (r) (AD)
1.05 Two and a Half Men (r) 1.35 Superstore
(r) (AD) 2.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records (r) 2.30 Teleshopping
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.55
Heartbeat (r) (AD) 7.55 The Royal (r) 9.00
Judge Judy (r) 10.25 The Darling Buds of May
(r) 12.35pm The Royal (r) 1.40 Heartbeat (r)
(AD) 2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r) 4.20 On
the Buses (r) 4.55 Rising Damp (r) 5.25 George
and Mildred (r) 5.55 Heartbeat (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. An old friend of
Jessica’s dies and the heir to a fortune,
who has been missing for more than 20 years,
makes a sudden reappearance (r) (AD)
8.00 Rosemary & Thyme. The duo are invited to
create an Arabian-style garden in Malaga, but a
local resident is found dead (r) (AD)
9.00 Rosemary & Thyme. A psychiatrist’s body
is found in Regent’s Park (r) (AD)
10.00 Foyle’s War. When a man’s charred
remains are found, Foyle’s investigations lead
him into the world of espionage (1/4) (r) (AD)
12.10am Inspector Morse (r) (SL) 2.05 Love
and Marriage (r) (AD) 2.55 FILM: Death on
the Nile (PG, 1978) Agatha Christie mystery
with Peter Ustinov (AD) 5.15 Richard Wilson on
the Road (r) 5.35 ITV3 Nightscreen
6.00am The Chase (r) 6.50 Pawn Stars (r) 7.30
Ironside (r) 8.35 Quincy ME (r) 9.35 Minder (r)
(AD) 10.45 The Sweeney (r) 11.50 The
Professionals (r) (AD) 12.50pm Ironside (r)
(AD) 1.55 Quincy ME (r) 2.55 Minder (r) (AD)
4.00 The Sweeney (r) 5.05 The Professionals.
CI5 confronts a KGB killer (r) (AD)
6.05 The Car Chasers (r)
7.00 Pawn Stars. Corey and Chumlee have big
plans for their Hallowe’en costumes (r)
7.30 Pawn Stars. The pawnbrokers check out a
rifle used in the Wounded Knee Massacre (r)
8.00 Hornblower. Horatio prepares for his
lieutenant exam (2/8) (r)
10.05 FILM: Platoon (15, 1986) A recruit is
thrown into the thick of the Vietnam War and
finds himself caught up in a lethal feud between
two sergeants. Oscar-winning drama with
Charlie Sheen and Willem Dafoe (AD)
12.35am FILM: Dawn of the Dead (18,
2004) A plague leaves the world overrun by
zombies. Horror remake with Sarah Polley, Ving
Rhames, Mekhi Phifer and Jake Weber (AD)
2.30 The Protectors (r) 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Best
of Top Gear (AD) 2.00 Top Gear (AD) 3.00
Deadly 60 4.00 Ice Road Truckers 5.00 Top Gear.
A Smart car is tested (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. A Peel P50 (AD)
7.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. Complaints by
neighbours about anti-social behaviour leads to
a raid on a suspected drugs den in Burton
8.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. Inebriated locals
in Burton cause problems on the night shift
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Al Murray hosts, and
welcomes Chris Addison and Tim Vine
10.00 Taskmaster. A group of comedians
complete a series of tasks
11.00 QI. Peter Serafinowicz, Julia Morris and
Rich Hall tackle air-rage and Alans
11.40 QI. Rob Brydon, Gyles Brandreth, Rich
Hall and Alan Davies face questions on subjects
including alcoholics and Aristotle
12.20am Mock the Week 1.00 QI 2.20 Mock
the Week 3.00 Dynamo: Magician Impossible
(AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning 9.00
Casualty 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The Bill 12.00
The Duchess of Duke Street 1.00pm Last of the
Summer Wine (AD) 1.40 Steptoe and Son (b/w)
2.20 Birds of a Feather 3.00 London’s Burning
4.00 New Tricks (AD) 5.00 The Duchess of Duke
Street. Charlie Tyrrell feels disillusioned
6.00 One Foot in the Grave. Victor starts work
on a sitcom script
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Something
sinister stirs in the woods (AD)
7.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. Gary realises that
life in 1941 is not what he expected
8.00 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries.
Feature-length episode. Havers is sent to
investigate the death of a radical left-wing
politician’s illegitimate daughter, whose body
has been found in a river (2/4)
10.00 New Tricks. A blood-stained bust is
uncovered during construction work (9/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Chris tries to escape
12.00 The Bill 1.00am Bergerac 2.15 Crocodile
Shoes 3.10 A Fine Romance 3.35 Garden
Hopping 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Wartime Crime
(AD) 11.00 Who Do You Think You Are? (AD)
12.00 Time Team 1.00pm Human Universe
(AD) 2.00 Yellowstone 3.00 Coast (AD)
4.00 The Golden Age of Steam Railways (AD)
5.00 The World’s Weirdest Weapons (AD)
6.00 Battleplan. Pre-emptive strikes
7.00 Wartime Crime. The story of Dr Marcel
Petiot, a mass murderer in Nazi-occupied France,
who posed as a member of the resistance to kill
people who were trying to flee the country (AD)
8.00 Who Do You Think You Are? The actor Nigel
Havers explores his family history (AD)
9.00 Men Behaving Badly. Gary and Dorothy
take a weekend break
9.40 Men Behaving Badly. Tony tries to make
Deborah jealous
10.20 Men Behaving Badly
11.00 The World’s Weirdest Weapons. The quest
to make the first guided bombs (3/6) (AD)
12.00 Battleplan 1.00am Surviving the
Holocaust: Freddie Knoller’s War 2.00 Pointless
3.00 Home Shopping
BBC Alba
5.00pm Pàdraig Post: SDS (Postman Pat: SDS)
5.15 Zack & Quack (r) 5.35 Charlie is Lola
(Charlie and Lola) (r) 5.50 Seonaidh (Shaun the
Sheep) (r) 5.55 Alvinnn agus na Chipmunks (r)
6.10 Fior Bhall-coise (Extreme Football) (r)
6.35 Machair (r) 7.00 An Là (News) 7.25
Fraochy Bay (r) 7.30 Aibisidh (r) 8.00 Togaidh
Sinn Fonn (Join in the Music). Scotland’s finest
musicians (r) 8.25 Binneas: Na Trads.
Performances from Kathleen MacInnes and
Sineag MacIntyre (r) 8.30 Kerry is Kirsty:
Stafainn. Kerry and Kirsty MacPhee cycle
through the Trotternish peninsula in Skye (r)
9.00 A’ Suathadh Ri Iomadh Rubha. The artistic
achievements of a family across three
generations (r) 10.00 Ceol Country (Country
Music). From the Northern Nashville Caithness
Country Music festival (r) 11.00 Aghaidh ri
Aghaidh (Face to Face). The story of Bill Gates
and Steve Jobs (r) 11.50-12.00 Dhan Uisge
(River Garry). Calum MacLean indulges in his
passion for wild swimming (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Cwpwrdd
Cadi (r) 6.30 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 6.40
Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Meripwsan (r)
7.00 Rapsgaliwn (r) 7.15 Digbi Draig 7.30
Twm Tisian (r) 7.35 Jen a Jim a’r Cywiadur (r)
7.50 Sara a Cwac (r) 8.00 Octonots (r) 8.15 Ty
Mel (r) 8.20 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 8.30 Guto
Gwningen (r) 8.45 Marcaroni (r) 9.00 Popi’r
Gath (r) 9.10 Stiw (r) 9.25 Ben a Mali a’u Byd
Bach O Hud (r) 9.35 Holi Hana (r) 9.45 Bach a
Mawr (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul (r) 10.15 Cwpwrdd
Cadi (r) 10.30 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 10.40
Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 10.50 Meripwsan (r)
11.00 Jen a Jim a’r Cywiadur (r) 11.15 Digbi
Draig (r) 11.30 Twm Tisian (r) 11.35
Rapsgaliwn (r) 11.50 Sara a Cwac (r) 12.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Pobol
Porthgain (r) 12.30 Iolo: Deifio yn y Barrier
Reef (r) 1.30 Chwaraeon y Dyn Bach (r) (AD)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Pengelli (r)
3.30 Byd Pws (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh:
Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh: Cic 5.25 Stwnsh: SpynjBob
Pantsgwâr (r) 5.35 Stwnsh: Cog1nio (r) 6.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Cwpwrdd Dillad (r)
6.30 Darren Drws Nesa (r) 7.00 Heno 8.00
Pobol y Cwm. The pressure of the last few
weeks proves too much for Dani (AD) 8.25
Ar y Dibyn. Two very different challenges await
the adventurers 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30
Cerys Matthews a’r Goeden Faled. The origins
of Cwm Rhondda and Tra Bo Dau 10.00 Adre.
Nia Parry meets actress Nia Roberts (r)
10.30-11.35 Craith (r) (AD)
18
Friday January 12 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7547
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3231
5
6
7
8
10
12
6
8
9
10
9
10
19
14
4
19
6
19
11
12
3
13
14
15
16
7
23
3
20
8
6
23
8
Train Tracks No 304
8
12
14
15
20
6
14
6
12
7
1
6
15
19
26
24
5
8
13
7
12
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2
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6
15
16
7
6
19
26
26
8
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3
2
3
6
3
4
12
4
8
20
5
6
19
19
26
1
3
4
4
22
5
A
19
3
17
26
18
19
6
6
26
15
8
23
16
P
21
21
1
20
15
B
20
7
20
26
19
25
11
18
25
7
1
12
19
17
7
8
4
25
O
1
26
23
14
12
12
20
1
15
3
7
B
7
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
25
14
Across
19 Fortress (7)
22 Commend; ratify (7)
23 Circus entertainer (5)
24 Fish and rice dish (8)
25 Rear; spine (4)
Rotate; go (4)
Small monkey (8)
Zodiac sign (5)
Bitterness (7)
More grimly serious (7)
Stitched fold (4)
Take (control) (6)
Make still or quiet (6)
Farm building (4)
I C
O
AC
K
S S
U
R
T E
A
CO
I
T A
P
L E
L
K L
U
OC
I
I D
C
E
CO
A
PU
ER I
N
OF
E E
C
I A T
C
I CU
R
F EN
D
I N
L T
OD
A
F C
H
RA
E
P
L O
A
C I
E
DU
I C
U
U T
L
V E
T
F
US
R
NG
A
CE
E
14
15
12
20
22
19
26
3
19
14
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
14
15
3
16
O
Down
Solution to Crossword 7546
A
I C
E
CR
B
D I
C
F
A Z
B
RO
I
CA
15
1 Good luck token (8)
2 Approved
automatically (6-7)
4 Polar skies phenomenon (6)
5 Sea cow (7)
6 Simple cocktail (6,3,4)
7 Eg, native to Ankara (4)
8 Mountain lake (4)
13 Russian city on the
Dneiper (8)
15 Opening in pavement (7)
17 Systematic plan (6)
20 Small nail (4)
21 Dog's cry (4)
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
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SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
4
5
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B
© PUZZLER MEDIA
24
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P
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V
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
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N
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D
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Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
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KenKen Difficult No 4223
Futoshiki No 3085
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
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28
7
32
6
7
6
17
3
6
8
23
24
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3
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31
16
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>
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<
<
∨
5
3
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
21
33
22
35
13
19
24
27
15
23
14
24
16
16
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
3
4
24
30
17
13
30
14
16
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© PUZZLER MEDIA
22
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3
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the times | Friday January 12 2018
19
1G T
MindGames
White: Magnus Carlsen
Black: Ernesto Inarkiev
World Blitz Championship,
Riyadh 2017
Sicilian Defence
1 e4 c5 2 a3 Nc6 3 b4
This is the Wing Gambit, an
________
á 4 DrD D]
àDRD Dp0p]
ß i D D D]
ÞDBDnD D ]
Ý D D D D]
ÜD ) DPD ]
Û DKD DP)]
ÚDRD D D ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
After either 27 ... Rxb7 or 27 ...
Kxb7, White will continue 28
Bxe8+, exchange rooks and then
play Bxf7 with two extra pawns
and an easy win.
________
árD D D i] Winning Move
àDbD D 0 ]
ß Dq)pDQ0] Black to play. This position is from
Riyadh 2017.
ÞDpG DpD ] Saeed-Ganguly,
Black clearly has intense pressure along the
Ý ) D D )] h1-a8 diagonal. However, it takes an
ÜD D D ) ] imaginative combinative eye to spot his
Û D D ) I] winning idea. Can you see it?
ÚD D D $ ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
MEDIUM
HARDER
+ 16 ÷ 8
+9
82 x 3 + 53 x 2 + 98
146 x 7 + 387 x 3 – 199
x 2 + 11 x 2 – 14 ÷ 12
+ 1/2
2/3
OF IT
+ 78
75%
OF IT
+ 891
OF IT
+1/3
OF IT
– 98
♥K J 8 4 3 2
♦K 2
♥A J 7 4 2
♦J 7 4
♣ KQ
♣2
(i). Bid 4♥. West has a sixth heart,
one more than the five his 1♥ overcall promised. Therefore, the level
of the fit is one higher than his
partner presumed. Just because his
side have ten hearts does not mean
they can make ten tricks (many of
those ten hearts will fall together).
However, if your side bid to the
level of the fit in a competitive auction, normally either you’ll make or
the contract the opponents were
declaring would have made.
(ii). Pass. You have no more hearts
than the five already promised, so
do not bid higher. Note the overall
point-count (16) is far higher than
the 11-point (i). But those points
mean the opponents make fewer
tricks. I would expect 4♥ to go
level of the fit.
(2) With one more spade, South bids one
higher level. That way, N-S have ten spades
and bid for ten tricks.
(3) West cannot pass and be stolen from (he
knows his side have far more strength). To
bid 5♥ or double to increase the penalty from
4♠ is the question. He guesses the latter.
Contract: 4♠ Dbled, Opening Lead: ♦4
West led ♦4 v 4♠ (doubled).
Declarer won dummy’s ♦A and
led ♠ Q to ♠ K (good) and ♠ A. He
crossed to ♠ J, used ♣QJ10 to
force out ♣AK and lost just ♣AK
and two hearts. Down one and a
mere 100 above the line to E-W,
with 4♥ easy their way.
5♥ would not have made,
though. South wins ♠ Q lead with
♠ A, switches to ♦8 to ♦A and
ruffs a second diamond.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
OF IT
– 899 x 2
4
2
2
4
Killer Moderate No 5814
9
16
13
7
23
11min
6
12
4
15
7
12
15
20
14
7
8
14
4
6
15
10
5
14
4
18
7
13
13
5
15
10
17
18
56min
28
12
20
26
16
17
11
19
22
3
11
8 6 1
7 9 4
9 8 6
3
3 4
1 2 4
7 9
6 1 2
8 3 1
9 6 8
5
3
6
4
9
1
2
4
7
5
9
3
6
8
5
3
9
8
4
6
1
2
7
8
6
7
1
3
2
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9
5
7
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2
9
6
1
5
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3
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1
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7
4
6
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2
2
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1
9
3
8
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8
7
3
5
2
6
4
9
1
1
5
8
9
6
2
3
7
4
2
4
16
8
11
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
=
1
6
2
2
2
4
8
1
2
9
4
6
3
1
7
2
4
WE DD E
A
I
Y
R E V
E
M U
D
L I L O
Y
G
S
I N T
C
N
R
H YG I E
E
A
QU I CK
U M E
E X P I R
9
8
6
1
3
6
7 1 3
9 4 2
4 2 1
Train Tracks 303
D
N E
X
S C
L
RU
S
N I
O
E N
Y
I G
I
RG
A
E N
T
S I
C
C
E
E D
G
J E
Sudoku 9587
6
8
3
5
7
4
9
1
2
9
5
1
3
2
8
7
4
6
2
7
6
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1
3
8
5
9
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9
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3
1
8
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5
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9
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1
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7
3
9
6
4
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2
1
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4
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5
2
1
9
7
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3
6
1
2
3
5
7
9
4
8
4
6
7
3
9
5
2
8
1
3
8
9
2
1
6
4
7
5
1
2
5
8
7
4
3
9
6
6
7
1
9
4
8
5
3
2
6
2
4
3
1
9
6
2
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8
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1
8
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3
4
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2
5
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6
1
1
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9
2
7
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9
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2
7
1
8
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9
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3
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1
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5
6
9
2
7
4
8
1
3
9
4
6
7
5
3
1
2
8
8
2
5
4
9
1
6
3
7
7
1
3
8
2
6
5
9
4
4
5
∨
2
3
∧
4
1
5 > 2
3
∧
4
2 > 1
4
∧
5
1 < 3
2
+
-
3
6
2
1
1
∧
3
3
4
∧
5
5
8
8
1
x
+
÷
x
2
9
6
3
5
8
7
4
1
4
6
3
6
3
3
2
3
5
6
A
3
4
1
B
Suko 2132
8
7
1
4
6
9
3
5
2
5
3
4
2
1
7
6
8
9
2
5
L
O
E
1
6
8
5
7
2
4
9
3
7
4
5
8
9
3
1
2
6
3
2
9
1
4
6
5
7
8
4
5
2
6
8
1
9
3
7
9
1
3
7
2
4
8
6
5
6
8
7
9
3
5
2
1
4
S
S
T
I
S
N
I
F
D
T
O
U
L
÷
2
4
3
x
-
I
U
9
Quiz 1 Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP)
aka the Mounties 2 Possession 3 Plebs 4 Blood
sugar or blood glucose 5 Anthony Crosland
6 Buster Keaton 7 Giggs 8 Cardiff 9 Pope
Gregory XVI 10 Bow shock 11 The Seagull
12 Maria Shriver. She married Schwarzenegger
in 1986 13 Reggie Jackson 14 Ken Norton
15 The Replacements
R
M
O
P
E
I
N
S
C
K
4
+
+
+
1
Lexica 4088
Set Square 2046
7
3
Lexica 4087
Futoshiki 3084
6
1
UANA
F
N
E T I C
H
AR I O
E
R
ON
O W
BU S H
N
E
CU E
E
Z
R S E Y
Sudoku 9588
2
5
8
1
3
7
9
6
4
Killer 5813
Cell Blocks 3113
27
=
3
Codeword 3230
3 1
4 5 2
3 4
2 4
1
3
9 7
4 8 5
3
7 6
9 8
14
13
= 31
Solutions
9
17
+
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
23
12
÷
3
=
16
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
works? We’ve
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
=3
÷
x
KenKen 4222
21
÷
-
Killer 5812
Killer Deadly No 5815
= 180 from 1-9 are
+
÷
Sudoku 9586
6
All the digits
x
÷
Kakuro 2043
6
16
18
3 3
3
x
x
Yesterday’s answers
census, cesium, cess, cuisse, cuss,
incus, incuse, issue, meniscus, mesic,
mess, minus, miscue, miss, misuse,
muse, music, muss, ness, scum, semi,
sensum, sice, since, sine, sinus
28
2
12
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Set Square No 2047
♣10 4 2
♠K
♠ 10 4
N
East’s 3♥ is not a reflection of
♥AQ 10 9 4 W E ♥K J 8 2
his point-count, rather of his
♦K J 7 3 2
S
♦Q 10 4
thinking there is a nine-card heart
♣A 8 5 ♠ A 9 6 5 3 2 ♣K 9 6
fit: he is bidding for nine tricks. He
♥5 3
is doing this to cramp the bidding
♦8
for N-S, who (being the side who
♣Q J 7 3
opened the bidding) can probably
S
W
N
E
make the higher contract. What
should West do now with these
1♦
1♠
2♥
3♠ (1) 4♥
pair of example hands?
4♠ (2) Dbl(3)
End
(i)
(ii)
♠ KQ 4
♠K J 3 2
(1) Bidding to the presumed (nine-card)
+ 1/5
4 4
10
From these letters, make words of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 12 words, average;
16, good; 21, very good; 27, excellent
two down with the opposing 4♣
touch-and-go.
When competing, think trump
length not point-count.
The overcalling side should bid to
the level of their fit.
Dealer: East, Vulnerability: Neither
Exercise: You are West:
S
W
N
E
♠Q J 8 7
♥7 6
1♦
1♥
2♣
3♥
♦A 9 6 5
4♣
?
SQUARE
IT
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
Beginner Corner 38
Competitive bidding
8
EASY
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Today’s game from the King Salman World Blitz Championship
contains one of the most curious
incidents ever to occur in an international competition. The game is
a creative victory by the ultimate
winner of the title. The background,
however, is far more bizarre.
According to the authoritative
chessgames.com, after White’s 27th
move Ernesto Inarkiev played the
illegal 27 ... Ne3+, leaving both
kings in check. Magnus Carlsen
could have won instantly by claiming the black move was illegal.
Instead, he instinctively moved his
king out of danger with 28 Kd3. At
this point, demonstrating amazing
chutzpah, Inarkiev stopped the
clocks and claimed the victory for
himself, on the basis that Carlsen
had made an illegal move. The
arbiter on the spot at first awarded
a win to Inarkiev. Carlsen, however, alerted the chief arbiter, who
overruled the first arbiter and offered Inarkiev the option of resuming the game from the last legal
position, arising after Carlsen’s 27th
move. Inarkiev refused to continue
and Carlsen was awarded the win.
Inarkiev then went so far as to
appeal the chief arbiter’s decision
but his claim was rejected by the
Solomonic wisdom of the appeal
board and Carlsen’s win stood.
idea rarely seen above club level.
3 ... cxb4 4 axb4 Nxb4 5 d4 d5
This has been played many
times but opening the position
looks very risky. 5 ... e6 is safer.
6 c3 Nc6 7 exd5 Qxd5 8 Na3 Bf5
A grisly example of what can
go wrong for Black is 8 ... e6 9 Nb5
Bd6 10 Qg4 g6 11 Bc4! winning.
9 Nb5 Rc8 10 Nxa7 Nxa7 11 Rxa7
e5 12 Nf3 exd4 13 Nxd4 Bd7 14
Nb5 Qxd1+ 15 Kxd1 Bc6
Having so far countered fire
with fire, Black suddenly goes
passive. More logical is 15 ... Bc5
16 Rxb7 Nf6 17 Bd3 0-0, when ...
Rfd8 is coming and Black’s pressure against the white king certainly compensates for the pawn.
16 Bd3 Bc5 17 Re1+ Ne7 18 Ba3
Bxa3 19 Rxa3 Rd8 20 Nd4 Kd7
21 Ra7 Rhe8 22 Kc2
White has a clear plus as the
b7-pawn is vulnerable.
22 ... Kc7 23 Rb1 Rb8 24 f3 Nd5
This is a simple blunder. 24 ...
g6 kept Black in the game.
25 Nxc6 Kxc6 26 Bb5+ Kb6 27
Rxb7+ Black resigns
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Double indemnity
Cell Blocks No 3114
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
H
A
I
M
V
A
N
O
U
S
L
N
E
L
Word watch
Serin (b) A finch
Surrejoinder (a) In
legal pleading, the
claimant’s reply to the
defendant’s rejoinder
Snip (c) A tailor
Brain Trainer
Easy 7; Medium 858;
Harder 8,634
Chess 1 ... Ra1! leaves
White defenceless on the
kingside. He tried 2 d7
but 2 ... Qh1+! 3 Rxh1 Rxh1
was mate
12.01.18
MindGames
Sudoku
Mild No 9589
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Difficult No 9590
2 7
7
7
8
Serin
a Entwined
b A bird
c A poison
Snip
a A dance
b A small root
vegetable
c A tailor
Answers on page 19
2
8
4
1 9
3
1
5
9
6
3
4 6
7
9
6
4
3
1 8
2
9
Surrejoinder
a A response
b A tool
c A hand gesture
1
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
5
1
4
8 1
9
9 6 3
2 9
5
5 6
5
9
6
9
4
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
GETTY
1 “Maintiens le droit”
(“Defending the law”)
is the motto of which
Canadian police force?
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
award for playing Irina
Arkadina in which
Chekhov play?
12 In 1977, Tom
Brokaw introduced
which niece of
JFK to Arnold
Schwarzenegger?
15
3 Which ITV2 sitcom
follows the Roman
citizens Marcus, Stylax
and their slave Grumio?
4 Hypoglycaemia
is also known as
low... what?
5 Which author of The
Future of Socialism was
foreign secretary when
he died in 1977?
6 Who co-wrote, codirected, co-produced
and starred in the
1926 silent comedy
film The General?
9 Which pope
established the
Pontifical Equestrian
Order of St Gregory
the Great in 1831?
7 The Essence, Lock
Doh and Ruler are
songs by which
London rapper?
10 Which two-word
term describes the
boundary that forms
the outermost layer of
a magnetosphere?
8 In 1882, the brewery
company Brains was
founded in which city?
11 Kristin Scott Thomas
won a 2008 Olivier
13 Which baseball star
said the line “I must
kill ... the Queen” in
the film The Naked Gun?
Yesterday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 1003
14 Known as “the
Black Hercules”,
which US boxer broke
Muhammad Ali’s jaw
in a March 1973 bout?
15 Which defunct US
rock band is pictured?
Answers on page 19
2
3
4
5
8
9
10
11
12
14
13
15
16
17
18
19
Across
1 Writer seen with family pet (7)
7 Lady first to encourage and
tend other ranks (7)
9 Viper sliding around before
noon is deadly biter (7)
10 Handsome and in hurry (7)
11 Cost of living slashed (4)
12 Ten hotels demolished in
watery region (3,6)
14 Eternal punishment in The
Netherlands? (9)
16 Good to have garment (4)
17 Anger to burden the country
(7)
20 Joseph’s son puts one in broken
hamper (7)
21 European sailor hurried back
to tell story (7)
22 Fiery monster devouring old
soldier (7)
20
21
22
I S
T
A
N
NC
E
R
S
H A
R
ON
I
N E
C A N
B
B
R AGON
S
N
S
R EME N T
I
E
B E ND E R
L
L
E
E CO
P E
C
T
T I P S Y
R O
P
GA L E S E
by Wurm
6
7
R A NC
N O
O T OR
D
I
OP
A
T
ORD E
T
H I P S
S
A
WA N T
N
I
S E
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1004
1
F
O
R
T
H
E
B
E
S
T
Down
1 Northerner has meat and
dessert with pin-up (12)
2 Political group’s instant sign of
hesitation (8)
3
4
5
6
8
12
13
15
18
19
4
6
1 4 5
9
7
3
8 4
4 3 9
7
5
9 8
5
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
2 The fictional
Victorian poets
Randolph Henry
Ash and Christabel
LaMotte feature in
which AS Byatt novel?
9 3
6
PUZZLER MEDIA
7
5
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
Fiendish No 9591
Join outfit guarding an
indefinite number (4)
Get to the point (6)
Something for stirring pot, as
one’s brewed (8)
Opponent from Byzantium (4)
Correct to present island’s
trusted adviser (5-4,3)
Reckless young person in ripoff (8)
English lord stirred trouble in
fabulous location (2,6)
Certainly that’s in legal
document (6)
Nobleman almost skinned! (4)
Artist embracing explosive
goddess (4)
3
5
2 3 6
4
1
8 6
2
6 5
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