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The Times Times 2 - 12 March 2018

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March 12 | 2018
On Monday
He’s trying to be woke*. Are you?
How one word became ubiquitous
*socially aware, politically correct
2
1G T
Monday March 12 2018 | the times
times2
My life being
Like Theresa May
I don’t want to let
my hair down
Kevin Maher
H
REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
ey, everyone! Can
we give Theresa May
a break? Please.
Just for once. Say
what you will about
her infamously
equivocating stances
on the Brexit divorce
bill, the Irish border and the future of
the customs union between the UK
and the EU, but leave her hair alone.
The prime minister was pilloried last
week, on International Women’s Day
no less, for being unable to answer one
of those ostensibly softball questions
that make politicians seem slightly
subhuman and make the journalists
who ask them seem smug, trivial and
vindictive. She was asked, at the end of
a serious interview about tackling the
issue of domestic abuse, how she
would let her hair down on a dream
night. She flinched, and the question
was reiterated.
She said that she would rather focus
on domestic abuse, then, for the third
time, she was asked: “How would you
let your hair down with your
girlfriends?” She faltered, naturally,
and said: “Well, I don’t think that
when you let your hair down there’s
only one way of doing it.” Which
meant, obviously: “I don’t let my hair
down.” Almost immediately the cries
went up on social media. “Awkward!”
“Cringeworthy!” “Maybot
malfunction!” Whereas all I could
think was: “Good on her.”
And that’s not because the question
was wildly patronising and weirdly
sexist (“Enough of this politics guff!
What a real woman wants to do is
shrug off that power suit, pour herself
a big juicy glass of chardonnay and
binge-watch a box set of Sex and the
City”). It was because I get it. I get her.
She completes me. We simply don’t, as
people, me and Theresa May, let our
hair down. I barely even know what
that means. It reeks of hen nights and
stag nights and blokes in tight T-shirts
vomiting behind recycling bins, and
booze-addled girls in high heels on
frozen cobblestone streets suddenly
snapping an ankle and tumbling to the
ground. And the next morning? “Oof,
me head! Really let the ole hair down
last night, I did!”
I understand it, though. The need
for pressure-cooker release (to mix
metaphors) at the end of a high-
TV couch
potatoes
beware
The American-born British financier
Bill Browder so enraged the Kremlin
that he feels under constant threat of
assassination. By Damian Whitworth
Travelling
light has
its perils
tension week. But letting your hair
down is not the same thing as relaxing.
The phrase has 17th-century origins
and initially referred to the relief of
private living, when the pins and
braids of that elaborately styled bonce
were removed and you could finally,
miraculously, just be. Whereas now it
means doing five tequila slammers
while dancing through a line of
uneaten chicken fajitas on a tabletop
at Nando’s. There’s a strange element
of embarrassment implied in the
phrase. When did you last let your hair
down? Was it mad? Did everyone
laugh at you? Do you have any pics?
Were you a complete ass?
Yet I do it too. I let my hair down
every week. But it’s subtle. You
have to watch closely to spot it.
I read a bit of a book whenever I
can. That’s one way. Or, sometimes,
when I’m at the ragged edge, I’ll
eat an entire bar of Green & Black’s
chocolate (butterscotch if I’m feeling
utterly crazy, or just 70 per cent dark if
I want to look after the antioxidant
levels in my bloodstream).
Other “hair-down” activities include
sitting on the couch and leafing
through some old copies of Vanity Fair
(I have it on subscription, but I never
read it — it makes me too angry),
having a single beer while watching
the BBC news on iPlayer or taking the
dog for a second short, yet needless
walk through the woods. Point being,
me and Theresa May? We are, clearly,
peas in a pod. We let our hair down
without letting our hair down. Which,
obviously, is the best way. We’re not
too hot on Brexit, though.
I’ve heard of screentime deterrents (“You’ll
get square eyes!”), but
this is ridiculous. A
group of scientists
from Imperial College
London are claiming
that “lengthy” watching
of TV, also known
as “binge-watching”,
increases the chance
that men, only men,
will contract bowel
cancer by up to
35 per cent. That is
ridiculously terrifying
and oddly specific.
It’s just about
watching TV. Not
sitting for too long.
Not sitting at a desk.
Not reading while
sprawled on the couch.
Just binge-watching
Great news for anyone
who plans to visit New
York or Los Angeles
with just the shirt on
their back, a book, an
iPad and a change of
underpants. Virgin
Atlantic is launching its
low-budget Economy
Light service, which
means you can travel
with the airline to the
US, but only with hand
luggage. I’m not too
sure about this. I nearly
always travel to the US
on a hand-luggage-only
basis, and it’s often
a nightmare.
It seems to freak
everyone out. “Where
are your bags? What’s
going on? Security!”
Whenever I go these
days it’s for work, often
a movie-actor interview
with a 36-hour
turnaround time. You
should try it. London
to LA, 12 hours on the
ground, LA to London.
It’s very, well,
bracing. Airport
security aren’t big
fans, though. “What?
You’re coming back
tomorrow?” I’ve had
the full works at JFK
before. Toothpaste
tested. Underpants held
up to the light. It would
suggest a possible piece
of rebranding is
required. The Economy
Light ticket — aka the
Strip Search’?
TV. I don’t know, but
if I were a conspiracy
theorist I’d suggest
that the study was
funded by someone
with a grudge against
Netflix (the BBC?). But
I’m not, and I don’t do
binge-watching.
Yet I’ve always felt
that I’m missing out.
Not any more.
I
t is difficult to avoid feeling a little
trepidation when approaching a
meeting with Bill Browder. The
man who was once one of the
biggest investors in Russia has
been running a relentless
campaign against Vladimir Putin
and regards himself as the
Russian leader’s number one enemy.
Last week Browder, who lives in the
UK having gained British citizenship
20 years ago, told a House of
Commons committee roughly what he
thought the Kremlin had in mind for
him. “What the Russians would like to
do more than anything would be to
arrest me, get me back to Russia and
then kill me within the control of their
own system.”
Since he said that, suspicions have
deepened that the Russian state was
behind the poisoning with a nerve
agent of the former Russian spy Sergei
Skripal and his daughter, Yulia, in
Salisbury. Might Browder, who is a
much bigger thorn in the side of Putin
than a former spy living quietly in a
cathedral city, be next on the list?
“Well, I have always felt in danger
everywhere, but I’ve kind of felt like
they didn’t want to get caught. And
the fact that they did it so brazenly in
Salisbury and they will get caught
does worry me,” he says. “Because if
my protection was their desire not to
get caught and they don’t seem to care
about not getting caught any more,
then that’s a whole new ball game.”
We meet in the City office where he
uses the wealth he accrued in Russia
to run an anti-corruption organisation.
As we settle into the boardroom I ask,
lightly, how secure we are. “I think you
are reasonably safe in here today, but
who knows — one day there could be
an absolute disaster. I don’t feel like
this country has done anything to
dissuade them from doing another
hit.” I find myself politely declining
anything to drink.
Browder, a 53-year-old born in the
US, is a grandson of a general secretary
of the American Communist Party. He
decided to rebel against his family and
seek to become the biggest capitalist in
eastern Europe. He built a multibilliondollar investment fund in Russia before
fleeing because he was being hounded
by corrupt elements who wanted his
money. He wrote about this in his 2015
book, Red Notice: How I Became Putin’s
No 1 Enemy.
His lawyer, Sergei Magnitsky, was
arrested and died in custody. He had
been tortured and killed, Browder told
the Commons digital, culture, media
and sport committee last week, “by
eight riot guards with rubber batons.
Since then, I have been on a campaign
to get justice for Sergei Magnitsky.”
He pushed the anti-corruption law,
the Magnitsky Act, through the US
Congress. This froze assets and placed
travel bans on named individuals
deemed to be corrupt. In his absence
Russian courts have sentenced
Browder to 18 years in prison for tax
evasion and deliberate bankruptcy and
made several unsuccessful requests to
Interpol to have him arrested.
Browder believes that the Kremlin’s
motive for killing Skripal was to keep
members of the Russian Federal
Security Service in line. “This is just a
way of sending a message . . . that any
departure from total loyalty could end
up in not only you being killed, but
your family members as well.”
The nerve agent must have been
produced in a government laboratory
and Browder does not believe that an
attempt at killing the former spy
would have been made without Putin
knowing. The evidence that Russia is
involved is still to come. “One couldn’t
take a circumstantial case to court, but
we don’t have the luxury of court here.
What we have to do is make very
serious anti-terrorist policy decisions,
which have to be based on what
evidence is available.”
Some have suggested that the
Kremlin would have been unlikely to
go after Skripal because in doing so it
would not be honouring a spy swap.
Browder points to broken promises
from Putin regarding Georgia, Ukraine
and Syria. “We’re so stupid and naive
to deal with Putin as if he is one of us.
He is a truly monstrous, amoral
sociopath who will do anything that
serves his short-term interests.”
The incident in Salisbury comes
before the Russian election and boosts
Putin because many in Russia will
have a low opinion of the former
military intelligence officer who sold
secrets to Britain. “Their psychology is:
‘He’s a traitor of Russia and he should
be liquidated and anyone connected to
him should be liquidated.’ Of course it
makes him [Putin] look good.”
The attack could have been carried
out in many ways: “It could have been
a package that the daughter brought
from a friend and they had a gun to
the head of the friend, ‘Give this to her
otherwise we’ll kill your whole family.’
Or they could have had an aerosol and
sprayed them both, or they could have
put it in their soup.”
Although it was sloppily executed,
Browder argues that the ability of
agents to undertake an operation at
all was due to Britain’s failure to
properly respond to previous deaths,
such as that of Alexander Litvinenko,
the former KGB officer who died after
drinking tea laced with radioactive
polonium at a Mayfair hotel in 2006.
If I lived in fear,
then they would
have succeeded
in terrorising me
the times | Monday March 12 2018
3
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times2
Putin’s number one enemy
MICHAEL LECKIE FOR THE TIMES; GETTY IMAGES
An inquiry into the 2006 atrocity found
it to be a state-sponsored killing that
was probably sanctioned by Putin, but
this conclusion wasn’t drawn until 2016.
“We have made it absolutely plain
and clear to Vladimir Putin that he
can commit crimes in this country and
there will be no consequences.”
Browder is very concerned about the
death of Alexander Perepilichny, who
had been helping Browder’s company,
Hermitage Capital Management, with a
money-laundering investigation when
he died while jogging near his home in
Surrey. He was 44 and had no health
problems. “The police kept on ruling it
as not suspicious in spite of a mountain
of circumstantial evidence showing that
it was suspicious,” Browder told the
House of Commons committee. “I don’t
have anything good to say about the
law enforcement agencies in the UK in
relation to Russian activities up to and
including murder.”
So what consequences should follow
if the government concludes the
Russian state was involved this time?
“Of course we shouldn’t go to the
World Cup,” he says, but that alone
would be an insufficient response.
“They use chemical weapons in an act
of state-sponsored domestic terrorism
and the retaliation should be not going
to the World Cup? No, we should
round up all Russian sleeper agents in
London under the domestic terrorism
act, we should freeze assets belonging
to any Russian government officials,
we should freeze assets belonging to
any government-connected Russian
oligarchs. If we don’t do that then they
will do more terrible things in this
country, in which British people will be
victims, as the police officer was.
“There’s something culturally wrong
with this country if the government
can’t protect its people from a rogue
state doing terrorism here. It means
that the leadership should change to
someone who can protect this country.”
Browder’s focus has been on the
finances of those connected to the
regime. Last year the British
government introduced unexplainedwealth orders that could be used to
force individuals to explain how their
property came into their possession.
A number of MPs are backing a
“Magnitsky amendment” to an antimoney-laundering bill going through
Vladimir Putin, left,
and Bill Browder
parliament, which would extend the
ability to freeze assets to those guilty
of human rights abuses.
“What does Putin care about? He
cares about money. We have the
ability now to seize money connected
to Putin oligarchs. If we do not do it,
then basically our government will
have sacrificed national security for
some concept of good diplomatic
relations with Russia.”
The Magnitsky Act made a highprofile cameo in the Trump-Russia
investigation when it emerged that
during the presidential campaign
Donald Trump Jr had a meeting with
a Russian lawyer who raised the
subject. Putin was so angered by the
2012 act that he blocked Americans
from adopting Russian babies.
Does such an increased profile for
Browder’s campaign work add a layer
of protection or increase the danger?
“I am at Defcon 5 anyway. I don’t
think my jeopardy is changed by the
amount of publicity. I am on their top
list. It would be the equivalent of a
political assassination. There would be
a dramatic consequence if they did
something to me and they got caught.
“What they would really like is to be
able to wink at everybody and say,
‘Here’s what happens to people that
we don’t like,’ but at the same time
have plausible deniability. Unless the
government takes an appropriate
severe reaction to this, then I am
seriously at risk living in this country.
My government is not protecting me.”
Browder won’t talk about his security
protocols or his family, yet insists:
“I do not live in fear. If I lived in fear
then they would have succeeded in
terrorising me.” Still, he doesn’t eat
in the same restaurant twice.
At the select committee Browder
discussed fake news. He believes that
the Russian state has generated
significant amounts relating to him
as part of its wider disinformation
campaigns. “Putin could never win a
conventional war. The only kind of
wars he can win are asymmetrical
wars. He is a real entrepreneur in
political manipulation. His objectives
are to break up the EU, break up Nato
and neutralise the US.”
Browder was consulted by the
scriptwriters of McMafia for the BBC
drama. “It was really helpful in waking
Britons up. They brought into the
living rooms of Britain the fact that it’s
a criminalised place and some of these
Russians that you see walking around
Knightsbridge are most likely
gangsters.” He adds that he is married
to a Russian and “pro-Russian, but
anti-Putin and anti-criminal”.
One common mistake is to think
that we are living through a new Cold
War. “The Cold War was actually
much more civilised. This is mafia
stuff; there are no rules.” If you want
to understand the Kremlin, then he
suggests studying Pablo Escobar, the
ruthless Colombian drug lord.
In another life Browder would never
have left California and gone to Russia.
“I regret going there completely. I was
in Stanford. I could have gone to
Silicon Valley and hung around nice
people who weren’t killing each other
and poisoning each other and trying to
arrest each other. And I’d probably
have had a nice life.”
The lowdown
Frida Kahlo’s
prosthetic leg
What’s the first thing that springs to
mind when I mention Frida Kahlo’s
personal style?
Are you dropping a hint? Because I
know my eyebrows are out of
control. Don’t shame me.
I wasn’t, but perhaps you’d be better
off adopting Kahlo’s defiant
attitude. The artist was indeed
admired for her luscious brows —
or, to be more accurate, brow. It
was all part of the vibrant and
distinctive personal appearance she
cultivated with such panache.
Reassuring. But why are we
discussing it now?
Because there’s an exhibition soon
to open that will explore the many
ways in which Kahlo constructed
her identity. It’s called Frida Kahlo:
Making Her Self Up and it opens on
June 16 at the V&A in London.
And how much of it is dedicated to
the eyebrows?
You will be able to see the ebony
pencil that she used to enhance
that area, but it’s far from the only
interesting piece on display. The
museum will show more than
200 personal objects, including
22 colourful Tehuana garments
from Kahlo’s wardrobe, her
favourite Revlon lipstick and some
necklaces that she strung herself.
And there’s one more item that’s
particularly surprising.
Is it a vajazzling kit? An early
prototype of the selfie stick?
A pair of plastic spectacles with
a fake nose attached?
It’s a customised prosthetic. Kahlo
lost a leg to gangrene in 1953 — not
long before her death — and had a
very beautiful prosthetic
hetic
one made. It’s clad in
na
red, lace-up wedge boot
oot
that is painted with a
Chinese dragon and
there are bells tied to
o
the laces.
So when it came to
personal style, she did
d
her own thing to the
very end?
She absolutely did
— from brow to toe.
Sod tweezing, then. I’m
m
going to grow out my
nose hair too.
Hattie Crisell
4
1G T
Monday March 12 2018 | the times
times2
Oh no, it’s that word
again . . . Have we
reached Peak Woke?
What started as a political statement is now being applied
to everything from hummus to Prince Harry’s wedding. Yet
half of us are still baffled by its meaning, says Polly Vernon
T
here are two possible
responses to the
question: “Have we
reached Peak Woke?”
Answer number one
is: “God, yes! The
word ‘woke’ — in the
context of a modern,
fashionable lexicon — is totally over.
Done. Hopelessly and regrettably
diluted, diminished by relentless
overuse, reduced by popular culture,
trendified to the point of empty
nothingness. A flippant gag, a buzz
term, the Over-Capitalised Headline
On A Blog Post, the punchline on
a vapid tweet. And, no, the irony
of that — of the neutering and
depoliticising of a term conceived
to do the precise opposite, to spur
people to action and politicisation —
is certainly not lost on you, no sir!”
Answer number two is: “What
is ‘woke’?”
That a concept can be jejune
according to half of the population
and completely unknown to the
other says something disconcerting
about these faddy, frenzied and
connected, yet utterly disconnected
times, but there we are, and there you
are . . . You are either the kind of
person who knew that woke had
crashed and burnt after reading that
one newspaper think piece citing
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s
forthcoming wedding as the most
“woke royal wedding” of all time — an
argument based on the revelation that
the couple would be undertaking a
carriage ride after the ceremony so
that the public of Windsor might be
among the very first to see them as
husband and wife — or you’re my
friend Jen, who, when I asked her (just
now) if she thought we had reached
Peak Woke, replied: “P what?”
Maybe your breaking point with
“woke” came after stumbling upon an
internet post entitled “How Woke
Is Your Hummus”? Or maybe you’re
my colleague, who describes herself
as “late to the woke party. I kept
seeing the word, but barely registering
it. I felt grumpy about being out of it,
like continually hearing about a box
set you haven’t watched.”
If you don’t yet know what “woke”
means, don’t worry too much. You’re
actually only a few months behind the
Oxford English Dictionary, which
officially recognised “woke” in June
2017 with an entry that reads: “Woke,
adjective. Originally: well-informed,
up-to-date. Now chiefly: alert to
DeRay Mckesson of Black Lives
Matter is arrested at an airport sit-in
racial or social discrimination and
injustice; frequently in ‘stay woke’.”
The OED’s embracing of the term
was a recognition of the growing
impact of the Black Lives Matter
campaign, the international activist
movement formed in 2013 to fight
violence and systematic racism
directed at black people. “Woke” has
an immaculate pedigree with noble
and potent origins. The expression
“stay woke” was, and remains, a slogan
for Black Lives Matter and the hashtag
under which it flourished on social
media, a clarion call to consciousness.
It was also the title of a 2016
documentary about its leaders.
Black Lives Matter didn’t invent
“woke”, but the organisation
reinvigorated it. The term had been
associated with consciousness towards
racial oppression since the mid-20th
century. The first published evidence
of it is a 1962 entry in an AfricanAmerican slang dictionary with the
definition “well informed, up-to-date”.
In Garvey Lives!, a 1972 play by Barry
Beckham, a character promises that,
inspired by the work of the activist
Marcus Garvey, he’ll “stay woke”.
In 2008 the singer Erykah Badu
incorporated it into the lyrics of her
song Master Teacher and in 2012
tweeted
“woke” in support not of
tw
black
bla consciousness, but of feminist
consciousness,
with reference to
co
the
th punk group Pussy Riot, who
at the time were on trial in Russia.
“Stay
woke. Watch closely.
“S
#FreePussyRiot,” Badu posted.
#F
In July 2016 the Black Lives
Matter activist DeRay Mckesson
M
was arrested during the Baton
wa
Rouge protest while wearing a
Ro
T-shirt that read: “Stay Woke.”
TYet a casual reading of the
Y
internet in 2018 could leave you
int
with the impression that “woke” iss
wi
not a statement of focused
no
urgency and vibrant political
ur
potency, but an amorphous mass
po
of vague feelings that might once
have been blanket-termed
ha
“political correctness”, even “right
“p
on-ness”. Did you go vegan-ish for
on
Veganuary? Woke! Do you think
Ve
that padded women’s sports bras may
th
be indicative of an underlying sexism
sm
in the fitness industry? Woke! Did
you retweet that briefly popular
yo
meme #WokeCharlotte, which
me
features stills of Charlotte York, the
fea
character from Sex and the City,
cha
captioned in ways designed to address
what modern viewers of the show
have started denouncing as politically
compromised undertones? Woke! Do
you practise self-care, did you post an
inspirational quote on International
Women’s Day last week, were you the
first person you know to switch from
disposable coffee cups to reusable
ones? Woke, woke, woke!
According to a perfunctory Twitter
search of #woke, the word may be
applied to absolutely anything, from
inducements to women to “stay woke”
against the approaches of toxic
bachelors on Tinder, to eye drops
Trudeau’s
state visit
to India
was called
‘a little
too woke’
A “woke Charlotte” image with the Sex and the City character
(perhaps they will help you to
(p
see social injustice clearly?), to
se
an individual who (I think) is
having
a difficult moment while
hav
playing a video game (“Knuckles
play
the echidna,
copyright Sega of
ec
JJapan,
apan, is eating pork and beans out
my asshole,
assho please send help. #woke”).
Offline, everything from the Time’s
Offline
activism of the awards season to
Up activi
university campuses no-platforming
speakers who are considered
“problematic” has been repackaged as
“the awokening”, a generalised term
for the politicising of the masses. This
term is rather too buzzy for comfort,
reminiscent of the so-called
youthquake of 2017, according to
which young voters were credited with
an unanticipated surge in support for
Jeremy Corbyn, except, it transpired,
they had done no such thing.
Then there’s the “woke bae”
phenomenon, which originated on the
American blog Jezebel. In January
2016 it started publishing lists of
famous men it considered to be as
desirable for their enlightened political
stances as for their looks and/or
celebrity. Issue one featured Danny
DeVito, who was honoured for saying,
of America: “Generally speaking, we’re
a bunch of racists.” Jezebel was
particularly taken with DeVito’s use of
“we”, “showing that he’s not afraid to
accept, to some degree, that he’s part
of the problem. Very woke.” The actor
Lucas Neff was also commended for
his “diversity of wokeness” because he
had tweeted about “#oscarssowhite,
the Flint water crisis and generally
admired the dopeness of our first black
president and his immaculate wife”.
The concept spread, proving that
it was not particularly funny, nor
particularly sexy — nor notably woke.
the times | Monday March 12 2018
5
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PRESS; GETTY IMAGES; ALPHA
COVER: REUTERS. BELOW: ASSOCIATED
PRESS; PHOTOSHOT
times2
Shall we have a woke wedding, darling?
The Ashish autumn/
winter 2017 show at
London Fashion Week
Harry and Meghan
will have the most
“woke” royal wedding
Justin Trudeau at the
Golden Temple, India.
Left: with his family
Elsewhere,
middle-class
El
h
the forces of middl
dd
whiteness, desperate to appear more
relevant than we actually are, started
embarking on competitive displays of
our own — relative wokeness. We
scrabble to find even the most
tentative claim on oppression of our
very own or to peacock our superior
sensitivities. “It’s like woke Top
Trumps out there,” a friend says. “Me
being socially conscious enough to
know that a lot of people can’t afford
to be a vegan trumps your righteous,
planet-saving ‘statement veganism’
and, anyway, are you aware that it
thing. We commend celebrities on their
wokeness, then rush to expose them
if they fail to sustain it adequately,
vilifying them in what we hope is a
further display of our impeccable woke
credentials. So it is that we’ve (unfairly)
“taken down” — internet-speak for
“denounced” —
everyone from
Mary Beard
(for
( colonialism) to
(f
Lena
Dunham (for
L
racism)
and Germaine
r
Greer
(for transphobia).
G
It’s
I “this strange race to
takes litres of water to produce one
avocado, so the ecological implications
of mass veganism are potentially dire?”
Oh and also? We took the kids to see
Black Panther on its opening weekend.
We speak, self-consciously, of how
ardently we “check our privilege” —
acting only with due attention to the
advantages our whiteness bestows
upon us — and frown upon those who
haven’t, or at least
haven’t specified
either way on
Facebook, which is
basically the same
How woke are you? Take the quiz
By Stuart Heritage
How do you take your tea?
a) White with two sugars please.
b) Loose-leaf if possible. I’m trying
to reduce my consumption of
single-use plastic.
c) Actually, since tea is a symbol of
violent British colonialism, I’ll pass.
When was the last time you checked
your privilege?
a) I don’t think I ever have.
b) Three times a year, max.
c) Your assumption that my actions
are informed by the norms that were
imposed on me during my upbringing
are problematic.
British festivalgoers in Native
American headdresses. Discuss.
a) In my day we called them
“Red Indians”.
b) OK, this sounds like cultural
appropriation.
c) They’re made with eagle feathers,
and eagles are mentioned in the
Bible, and the Bible is a tool of
systematic mind control, so I’m
against them.
How do you greet the
H
non-binary?
n
a)
a Is that someone who isn’t
a robot?
b)
b I don’t know. “Hello”?
c)
c I start punching myself in the
head as reparation for
h
the treatment they have experienced
ffrom society in general.
What is the acceptable acronym
for non-heterosexual?
a) Oh God, please don’t ask me that.
b) LGBT.
c) LGBTQIA+, although I’m
troubled by the classification of all
non lesbian, gay, bi, trans, queer,
intersex and asexual groups as a
throwaway “+”.
Is there a type of food that you
won’t eat?
a) Not really.
b) I’ve been funny about meat since
watching Cowspiracy.
c) I don’t eat murdered animals,
or harvested plants, or seeds,
because eating a seed is like
eating a human foetus.
Do you like Game of Thrones?
a) The books are better,
but sure.
b) All the rape stuff gets a bit
icky sometimes.
c) I found the depiction of Lysa
Arryn insulting to mothers who
continue to breastfeed their
children into puberty.
Who
W is the least woke person you’ve
ever met?
a) I had an uncomfortably racist
cab driver once.
b) I’ve had to challenge my
grandfather’s views a few times.
c) There weren’t enough black
women in The Handmaid’s Tale,
so Margaret Atwood.
Karlie Kloss not being
woke at a Victoria’s
Secret show
be the most woke”, the singer Katy
Perry said in June. “They want you to
stand for something, but if you don’t
do it perfectly, they’re ready to take
d
yyou right down.”
You may know it as the desire to be
sseen to be good — to be perceived as
ssensitive to the terrible inequalities
tthat rage around us — rather than to
aactually do any good, which is harder.
You may know it as the unexpected
undoing of Justin Trudeau, the onceu
adored Canadian premier, lampooned
this month for interrupting a female
constituent at a town hall meeting and
correcting her after she used the word
“mankind”. “We’d like to say, ‘people
kind’,” he said before flying off on a
state visit to India, which has been
characterised by The Daily Show as
“a little too woke”.
You may know it as Diet Woke,
a clever meme doing the internet
rounds. Regardless, you also know —
even those of you who ten minutes
ago had never heard of the word
“woke” — that Peak Woke has been
reached. Reached and passed.
How did you spend International
Women’s Day?
a) I baked a nice cake for my husband.
b) I instagrammed a picture of myself
reading a book about feminism.
c) I wrote a long, furious essay
about society’s failure to celebrate
female geese.
Results
Mostly As
You are not woke at all.
Honestly, you could try harder.
Mostly Bs
You’re trying so hard to
be woke. Sometimes you
succeed, sometimes you fail.
Congratulations, you are human.
Mostly Cs
Oh good God, you are the
most annoying person who ever
lived. No wonder you haven’t
got any friends.
6
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Monday March 12 2018 | the times
life
Ask Professor Tanya Byron
My adult son’s drink problem keeps coming
back. How can I help him to quit for good?
N
My husband and
I are desperate to
know how to help
our 43-year-old son.
He has never seemed
to know what he
wants out of life, has had numerous
jobs and, when in a low mood, has
turned to alcohol.
He is married and has three
young children. Two years ago he
lost his job because of his excessive
drinking and came back to live
with us because his wife was so
worried about the effect his lifestyle
was having on the children. I
know he loves them dearly, but
he appears to be unable to care
for them properly.
He has had two courses of
residential treatment in an NHS
detox unit. The second time he
came out very determined and with
medication to help the addiction. He
applied for lots of jobs and to our
relief was offered one. The change in
him was dramatic, he looked better
and we felt he was back to his more
relaxed self and enjoying being back
in the work community.
Then he went out in the evening
with friends and came home slightly
the worse for wear. He said it was
a one-off and it didn’t mean he was
going back to his old ways. A week
later he was dismissed from his job
after being found incapable during
work hours.
He is obviously very depressed.
I fear for his long-term health and
prospects. He has a very bad memory
and is unable to concentrate when
he has been drinking. He keeps
saying that he doesn’t want to be
back living in his parents’ home,
but has no suggestions as to how he
could support himself if he left. His
two elder siblings were sympathetic,
but are now losing patience because
of the effect he is having on the
whole family.
Are we making his life too easy
because he knows he has a roof
over his head? He attends a support
group for addicts, some of whom are
homeless or live in hostels, and he
has acknowledged that their lives
are very hard.
Catherine
Q
N
Your son has
demonstrated, twice,
that he can address his
alcohol addiction and
change his behaviour,
that when he lives a
sober life he can be a responsible,
well-functioning adult. However,
behaviour change, while challenging
and difficult, is easier to achieve
than the hard slog of maintaining
that change. Think of the relapsing
dieter who loses and gains
weight repeatedly.
So, what has to happen for healthy
behaviour to maintain itself? This is a
complex question and one your son is
clearly struggling with. His alcoholism
is well embedded and after every
relapse recovery becomes more
A
difficult, not least because his sense of
failure and self-loathing will increase.
Alcohol is a socially acceptable
drug and alcoholism is a disease of
mind and body. Alcohol, while a
depressant, initially triggers the
release of dopamine in the reward and
pleasure centres in the brain and so
the addictive spiral begins because
alcohol is used to treat the depression
and self-loathing it causes.
Long-term use leads to tolerance,
so increasing amounts of alcohol
are needed to achieve the “high”,
leading to long-term physical and
mental-health problems. It also
affects the brain functions that control
decision-making, stress, memory
and behaviour.
Relapse rates for alcoholics are
similar to those for chronic medical
illnesses with biological, psychological,
social and behavioural components,
eg diabetes and hypertension.
Therefore, alcoholism, like other
chronic illnesses, may require multiple
rounds of treatment.
There are many reasons for relapse.
Sometimes it is associated with the
self-sabotage of a healthy lifestyle that
feels alien and unfamiliar. Old habits
die hard, even ones that can cause
harm to ourselves and others. The key
to remaining sober is to change
lifestyle completely and the friends
associated with drinking — clearly
your son struggles with this.
is. One
trip to the pub with his drinking
nking mates
and he tumbles into uncontrolled
ntrolled
drinking and its consequences;
nces;
therefore, controlled drinking
king is
not an option for him.
Relapse offers the opportunity
rtunity
for learning and the possibility
bility of
positive long-term change.. However,
until he recognises and learns
arns from
his relapses, your son is forever
rever
at risk, which is why aftercare
care is
fundamental to sobriety. Good
health can be achieved only
ly
via the hard work of regular
ar
therapy, during which the
reasons that underpin drinking
nking
are understood and the
depression that your son iss
self-medicating is addressed
ed
and treated.
Indeed, your son must
feel like an abject failure.
His drinking has cost him
everything — being a father
er
and husband, his family
home, his career. Living
with his parents infantilises
es
him and without adult
responsibilities he has littlee
to motivate him to make
lasting change because,
whatever he does, he is safe
fe
and protected by you.
There is no question
of you not being his
support. However, the
question you rightly ask is
whether by being so, you
are inadvertently part of
the problem. A lesson
learnt the hard way can bee
fundamental in preventingg
repetition of self-destructive
ve
Your son’s
drinking
has cost
him
everything
behaviour — so is the home you offer
him denying him that opportunity?
Codependency is a term used
to describe the role others play in
addicts’ behaviour whereby their
unconditional support inadvertently
protects the addict from the
consequences of their behaviour,
enables its continuation and reduces
opportunities to learn and make
lasting change.
To address this you need to look
at adopting a whole family tough
love approach. For your son to
remain at home with you he needs to
demonstrate, within a clear timeframe,
that he is engaging with the long-term
aftercare he needs, including regular
support group meetings, eg AA
(alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk), and
the help of a sponsor. I would also
advise family therapy with his wife
and children so that he has a sense of
what he has lost and a real motivation
for change. His mental health must be
assessed via a GP referral to a
psychiatrist, and a contract of care
that your son owns and adopts for
himself should be set up.
The difficulty for your son, who
has lost so much of value in his life,
is that drinking is a pleasure and an
escape. Therefore, he needs a strong
and compassionate support network
around him while cutting out friends
who enable him to relapse. You could
offer to help him to set this up and
continue to support him while he
fully engages, but with
w a clear
boundary beyond
deal-breaking boun
which he has to go it alone.
aspect of taking this
The painful aspec
approach is that you
yo may have to
follow through on boundaries set
down and ask your son to leave if he
responsibility for his
does not take respo
alcoholism and do tthe hard work to
maintain sobriety. However, it may
be only when he faces the
real cconsequences of his
behaviour (as he sees in
behav
dwellers
the hostel
h
attending the support
atten
group) that he can
gro
start to make better
sta
decisions and take
de
full
fu accountability
for his addiction.
To achieve this,
yyou will also need
support,
so I
s
ssuggest that you
contact Al-Anon
((al-anonuk.org.uk)
aand attend its
meetings, where you
m
will meet other
wi
families of alcoholics.
fa
In this way you
how to stop
can learn
le
being ccodependent and
enabling your son’s
alcoholism
alcoholis and make
decisions that, while painful,
may begin a process of real
change for him.
h
If you have a problem
and would lik
like Professor
Tanya Byron’s help, email
proftanyabyron@thetimes.co.uk
proftanyabyron
Why I
An Airbnb where
you have to run a
bookshop is sold
out for three years.
What’s the appeal,
asks Andrew Billen
F
rom South Korea, New
Zealand, the Netherlands
and Chile they come —
young lovers and aged
retirees, families and
loners, those in need of a
break and others whose
health has prevented
them from working for years.
Each is realising a curious but vivid
dream: to run a bookshop, by the sea,
in the middle of nowhere. The
condition of renting the holiday flat
above the Open Book in Wigtown in
Dumfries and Galloway is to manage
the bookshop for a week or two, but
for them this is no catch. It is the point.
Although I may not quite understand
it, for a bizarre and blissful day I get to
live this humblest of fantasies.
Designated Scotland’s National
Book Town in 1998 and crowded with
second-hand bookshops, Wigtown has
long been considered by its inhabitants
the Hay-on-Wye of the north. The
Open Book, having featured on
television across the world, is making
the town internationally famous.
Airbnb, which manages the bookings,
is dumbfounded at the rental’s success.
It is let to February 2021. I just got
lucky with a cancellation.
The shop is cleverly named. Splayed
over a corner, it looks like a half-open
book. I half-open it at ten, checking
out the shelves of my new domain and
its behind-the-counter amenities: two
chairs, a loo, a fridge and a sink above
which is taped the notice: “For hot
water, please boil kettle.”
10.05am. I’m drinking a coffee from a
nearby café (discouragingly, it also sells
books) when Ben pops in. He moved
from Bristol to Wigtown a couple of
years ago with his wife and is the
leading light of the Book Shop Band, a
folk group that play in, well, bookshops.
Their baby’s godmother is Jessica Fox.
Now this is interesting. Without Fox
there would be no Open Book. She is
the town’s best-loved adopted daughter,
a young American who ten years ago,
having located the bookish Scottish
village of her dreams, came to
Wigtown on holiday as a break from
her job at Nasa (yes, really). She loved
it, stayed and became a mainstay of the
community and its annual book
festival. She does not own the Open
Book, but when its previous tenant left,
it was her seemingly crazy idea that it
could be saved from closure by getting
holidaymakers to work in it for nothing.
We also know all about Fox’s love
life because she is the author of a
romantic memoir, Three Things You
Need to Know About Rockets, which
tells how on arrival in Wigtown she
fell in love and moved in with Shaun
Bythell. He is the bellicose owner of
the town’s largest bookshop, easily
identified by the Kindle angrily
the times | Monday March 12 2018
7
1G T
life
went on holiday to work in a shop
TIMES PHOTOGRAPHER JAMES GLOSSOP, MARTIN HUNTER
punctuated with bullet holes on its
wall. Bythell last year rather eclipsed
Fox’s literary fame by publishing The
Diary of a Bookseller, an account of his
business life so sardonically funny it
could be designed to de-romance the
book trade. It is selling well.
After many years together Fox and
Bythell have split up. Indeed, Fox has
moved to Edinburgh. This unhappy
ending is bad news for the movie
producers who have optioned their
books and are planning to make a
romantic comedy out of their love
story. It is, however, good news for
gossip in the town (pop: 987) and for
the Open Book, whose prime role,
I discover, is as a repository for the
spoken word rather than the written.
Although Fox and Bythell have new
partners, the town prays for their
semi-celebrity romance to revive.
10.30am. The first of many tractors
trundles past. Its driver parks outside
the Co-op and goes shopping.
10.40am. Rosemary turns up.
Rosemary is Shaun Bythell’s mother.
She is Irish, the owner of the Open
Book and about the friendliest,
chattiest person in the world, with
plenty of insights into her son’s love life.
There is a mystery, however. A notice
appeared on Shaun’s shop door on
Saturday saying he was closing early.
Now it is Monday, the shop remains
shut and he is not answering his phone.
Mid-Scotland Murders, I think.
To take her mind off her son’s
disappearance, Rosemary buys my
worst-selling children’s book, The Story
Andrew Billen in the
Open Book. Above
right: Jessica Fox and
Shaun Bythell. You
may look for rental
cancellations at the
shop on airbnb.co.uk
Sign up for
The Times
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with news and expert
advice for a healthier,
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of Charles Dickens. It is my first sale, but
I feel it hardly counts. She urges me to
publicise myself on the blackboard
outside. I come up with: “Come in.
Journalist at work. One day only.”
11am. I am rewarded by the arrival
of a couple from Edinburgh. The wife
buys a paperback crime novel and
hands over £1. No mention of my trade.
11.20am. I do a bit of pricing,
whimsically assessing each book’s
worth. Nothing less than £1,
nothing more than £3.50.
11.45am. Roy enters. He is 77, has
lived hereabouts all his life and has
one arm, his coat sewn up where a
second sleeve should fall. Unprompted,
he explains that he lost it as a very
young boy after falling asleep in a field
that was being harvested. He has
never married and never worked. His
story made it into a play, which was
fine by him. “I am not really a book
person,” he says. “I don’t get involved.”
12.15pm. A woman is looking for
Michael Faulkner’s The Blue Cabin. We
don’t have it, but I locate it on Amazon
at 1p plus postage. She, however, does
not buy books on the internet, so her
quest will continue. Wigtown survives
on people like her.
12.30pm. A local woman who wishes
to be referred to as a “blow-in from the
south”, lectures me on the horrors of
London. She thinks Wigtown the “most
liberal town in Scotland”, quite free, she
assures me, of sectarian tension. When
someone threw a brick though the
chemist’s window at Christmas it shook
everyone. I stick up for London.
1pm. Rosemary rings. Shaun
had left the shop early on Saturday
to pick up his girlfriend. He overslept
this morning. He is alive and well,
but possibly hungover. The shop
has opened.
1.30pm. A second
recent arrival in
town, this time a
young woman from
Barnsley, South
Yorkshire, comes in.
She is embarking
on a career in
writing, having
recently finished
studying English at
Oxford. She is
either a spectacular
underachiever or
on the brink of
literary stardom.
1.55pm. A family
enter. The mother
is looking for Pride
and Prejudice. She
collects its each
and every edition and has hundreds at
home, including Pride and Prejudices
in Arabic, Polish and Lithuanian (but
not Afrikaans, into which Jane
Austen’s masterpiece has never been
translated). Her two-year-old daughter
falls over a step and bawls. I offer her
a children’s alphabet book in full and
final settlement of any future claim.
I put £1 into the cashbox.
2pm. A bright lady called Nanette
comes in with some excellent homebaked shortbread. She greets every
Open Booker with this gift. During the
afternoon I eat it all. She has been in
the area for 60 years and remembers
when Wigtown had two ironmongers
and no bookshops. I decide to close for
lunch. Nanette walks me down to
Bythell’s bookshop, passing the
chemist where paradise was briefly
unsettled at Christmas. “That’s the
door the methadone users take,” she
points out, contributing local colour.
2.10pm. In his definitively named
shop, the Bookshop, I buy a copy of
Bythell’s Diary, which he signs. With
long locks of soft curly red hair and a
private type of smile, he is less
terrifying than the persona in his book.
I say I have enjoyed hearing people’s
stories and the town gossip. “It is nice,”
he says. “For about a week.”
2.30pm. A couple are on their way
north. The husband, Professor Andrew
C Scott, is less interested in buying
than in telling me about his
forthcoming popular science book on
fire, Burning Planet. He has done a
couple of editions of Melvyn Bragg’s In
Our Time on Radio 4. They are quite
terrifying, he says. This is because
Bragg insists the academics bring in
no notes because they rustle. This
technical prohibition does not,
naturally, apply to Bragg and his notes.
2.50pm. Newly inspired by the life of
the mind, I rewrite the blackboard to
say that I shall be reading from my
worst-seller this evening: “Dicken’s
talk. 6pm. Free wine.” I don’t notice
the aberrant apostrophe until days
later. Journalist at work.
3.30pm. A woman donates a box of
modern history books. I set about
pricing them, some, because I would
buy them, for as much as £5.
3.50pm. A man called Robin comes
in to tell me that his great-grandfather
sketched Dickens. Before it closed,
Robin owned the Ming bookshop,
which specialised in mystery stories.
He was one of the first booksellers to
move here from London. Did he make
money? “Not as much as we hoped.”
Maybe this is
why he sold all
his forebear’s
portraits.
“Are you using
a pen to price
those books?” he
asks. I say that I
am and that I
suppose I should
be using a pencil.
“Classical error,”
he says. He buys
one of the new
history books, a
scathing account
of Churchill’s war
effort, £3.
4.45pm. Here
comes my last
customer of the
day. Another blow-in, she is an
illustrator who was evicted from her
cottage on a Northumberland grouse
moor. She finds life kinder here and
buys The Country Diary of an
Edwardian Lady for £4.
5pm. I shut the door and head to the
book festival office to borrow some
chairs for my talk.
6pm. I am delighted to welcome
13 Brownies, who listen politely as
I regale them with stories of Dickens’s
terrible childhood — which is more
than my daughters have done. The
adults in the audience, who I had
assumed were here for the wine,
very kindly buy copies of my now
marginally better-selling book.
I regale 13
Brownies with
tales of Dickens
The day’s total sales: £55.96, mostly
thanks to my book’s pity sales. It will
go, as usual, into the Wigtown Book
Festival’s coffers.
“It’s probably more than Shaun made
today,” says Rosemary, who insists I join
her and her husband, David, for supper
in their house up the hill. Maybe
Wigtown is a socialist nirvana of
reciprocal kindness. On the other hand,
Rosemary and David seem quite right
wing. We discuss Shaun and Jessica’s
romantic destiny in further detail.
7am, the next morning, in my flat. A
tap on the front door. I look down and
there is Nanette, the shortbread lady.
She had not wanted to miss me. She
has a pamphlet, Wigtown Women’s
Walk, that may be useful for my
article. I love Nanette. If I were
20 years older, I might require a
serious discussion with my wife.
The thing is, you don’t just live your
bookish dream when you run the
Open Book. You become a celebrity,
and a celebrity in a book world short
on critics. As I drive back to catch my
train, I daren’t look back. Perhaps
Wigtown itself belongs in the fiction
section. Perhaps, like Brigadoon, it has
already vanished into the Scottish mist.
8
1G T
arts
Monday March 12 2018 | the times
O
‘We’re four very sad
young men. We’ve
had our share
of heartbreak’
The Magic Gang, Britain’s best new guitar band, appeal
to pop fans who want shiny, happy music — but they
haven’t always been that chirpy, says Will Hodgkinson
ne listen to the
Magic Gang’s debut
album is enough to
make you feel that
all is right with the
world. Rarely since
the age of the
Beatles and the
Beach Boys have songs been this
sunny; rarely since the Nineties
heyday of Weezer has punky guitar
pop been so invigorating. So it comes
as a surprise to discover, as the singer
and guitarist Jack Kaye and the bassist
Gus Taylor demolish plates of
tortellini in an Italian restaurant in
southwest London, that all four
members of Britain’s best new guitar
band are in fact completely miserable.
“We are four very sad young men,”
says Taylor between swigs of Peroni.
“Neurotic,” adds Kaye as he plunges
a fork into an innocent piece of pasta.
“We’ve all had our fair share of
heartbreak. We’re pretty open about
that sort of thing.”
Taylor uses the example of Take
Care, a pretty piano-led lament from
the Brighton band’s forthcoming selftitled debut album, which captures
wistfulness in a similar fashion to the
Beach Boys’ Surf’s Up. “I wrote that
after a savage break-up,” he says. “I was
living with this girl for two and a half
years. I was at her family home. It was
really bad and a lot of shit happened.
The song is about going through all
those feelings of resentment and being
hard done by, then ultimately letting
go and hoping the person is OK.”
As for Kaye, his history with
girlfriends has been so tumultuous
that he signed up to a self-help group
for people who cannot maintain
healthy relationships. Caroline, one of
the perkiest songs on the album, is a
letter to a woman he met there.
“She was in her fifties and really
down,” he says. “She said that therapy
wasn’t working and she had hit rock
bottom, so I wrote the song to cheer
her up, but actually every word of
Caroline is about me. I’m always hung
up on old relationships, even when I’m
going into new ones.”
I first saw the Magic Gang in
concert two years ago at Heaven in
London. It was striking to see a young
crowd singing and jumping along to
catchy, upbeat songs and not feeling
the need to film the whole thing on
their phones, but instead lose
themselves to the euphoria of the
moment. It seemed as though this
band were connecting despite being a
bunch of student types playing guitarled indie pop at a time when hip-hop
and R&B reign supreme. There was
emotional depth too; you could feel it
in a cheerful yet sad tune such as How
Can I Compete, with its line: “You’ll be
leaving such a hole in the city when,
darling, we’re through.”
“That’s about Brighton,” Kaye says.
“A relationship ended, the girl left
Brighton and all the things I loved
about the place were wrapped up
with her, so it really cast a cloud over
living in the city. It’s pathetic, really.”
Find love through what you love.
Dating is always easier when you start out with
something in common. The Times Dating is the place
to meet Times readers who have the same interests
(and intellect) as you. Just think, this page could be
the beginning of your next chapter.
Start your story at thetimesdating.co.uk
the times | Monday March 12 2018
9
1G T
EMMA VIOLA LILJA; RETNA/PHOTOSHOT
arts
Great new
guitar bands
Goat Girl
They may have the air of surly
adolescents who have just been told
to tidy their rooms, but the lyrical
wit and clattering rockabilly from
these south Londoners show intent.
There are touches of the Fall and
the Slits to Country Sleaze and Scum,
and the singer Lottie’s deadpan
delivery is delightfully dismissive.
Pale Waves
Time for a goth revival? With the
singer Heather Baron-Gracie’s
vampiric glamour and a brace of
catchy tunes recalling the Cure and,
on the catchy new single Heavenly,
Cyndi Lauper, this Manchester fourpiece are pale and interesting in all
the right ways. They are signed to
the 1975’s label, Dirty Hit, and will
soon be pumping out of the bedroom
of many a misunderstood teen.
The Honey Hahs
Like policemen, bands are getting
younger every day, but when the
drummer is still in primary school it
takes you by surprise. Rough Trade’s
latest signing are a trio of sisters from
Peckham, south London, who make
innocent, harmony-laden indie folk.
The girls started busking like their
dad. When they made more money
than he did, they formed a band. WH
When the members of the band
aren’t splitting up with women and
writing songs about it, they do manage
to have some fun. Kaye, Taylor, the
drummer Paeris Giles and the guitarist
Kristian Smith all grew up in the
Southampton area and went to local
schools where, as Taylor puts it, “being
into guitar music was for weird nerds”.
They formed the band in 2013 while
at university in Brighton, later moving
into a four-storey house at the centre of
the town that sounds like the hovels in
The Young Ones and Fresh Meat, only
with lower hygiene standards.
“There was absolute negligence to
all conventional ways of living,” Kaye
says of life in the house, which was
also occupied by people in other bands
alongside assorted transients. “The
house did have beauty in a fallingapart way, but unfortunately there
wasn’t much respect from the
inhabitants for that beauty. It was
more a drop-your-cigarette-ash-onthe-floor situation. We weren’t quite
breaking up the floorboards for
firewood, but it got close.”
Needless to say, far more people
lived in this decaying pile than its
landlord knew about. It also got a
reputation as one of Brighton’s premier
party pads, meaning that Kaye, who
was working in a call centre after
university, might find ten strangers in
his bedroom when coming home from
work on a Monday evening.
“It was worse for George from
Abattoir Blues,” says Kaye, referring to
a member of another band who
lived in the house. “His bedroom
was a corner of the sitting room
separated by a sheet, and the sheet
was translucent. He had no choice
but to listen to our conversation
every night. The last six months
were bad, when there was no
longer any concept of day or night.
Our mental health was really
damaged by then.”
Being nice is on
trend. It’s not
cool to be racist
or prejudiced
“We had a neighbour from Kuwait
who was fascinated and shocked by
our lifestyle,” Taylor says. “She used to
bring presents because she felt sorry
for us. If we want to be reminded of
those times now we just watch
Withnail and I.”
Since signing a deal with Warner
Brothers and becoming regulars on
the Radio 1 playlist, Kaye and Taylor
no longer suffer the squalor of the
Brighton hell house. The millions
aren’t rolling in quite yet — they have
had to move back in with their parents
to give up day jobs and do the Magic
Gang full-time — but something is
clearly working. The emotional
openness of the songs are in line with
the mood of a new generation who are
searching for a new kind of
consciousness, like the baby boomers
who stuck flowers into the guns of the
National Guard. These are the people
whom an older, more cynical
generation have dismissed as
“snowflakes”.
“I find it funny when the previous
generation takes offence to our
generation’s sensitivities,” says
Taylor, who is 23 years old. “What’s
The Magic Gang —
Jack Kaye, Paeris Giles,
Kristian Smith and
Angus Taylor — and,
left, performing at the
Roundhouse in London
wrong with being emotional? Why
does that anger people?”
He says the day before, he was
talking to his father, who claimed that
while he had loads of cronies to go to
the pub with, he only had two friends
he could open up to. “That’s mad,”
Taylor says. “We can all talk to each
other about anything.”
“Being nice is on trend,” says Kaye,
24, who is indeed nice. “It’s not cool to
be racist or prejudiced or treat people
badly. If I’m told that a term is
offensive, even if I can’t get my head
around why, it would be uncool for
me to say, ‘Well, I’m going to use it
anyway.’ You can’t tell people what
they can and can’t do, but you can
tell them how it makes you feel.”
In the Magic Gang’s brave new
world of emotional openness, who do
they most look up to? “The Beatles
will always be the best band of all
time,” Taylor replies, surprisingly.
“Their personalities, the music,
the story, the multiple layers of
songwriting . . .” Some things, at
least, never change.
The Magic Gang is released on
Yala!/Warner on Friday
Ektertaikmekts
Theatres
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10
1G T
Monday March 12 2018 | the times
television & radio
It’s clichéd and twee, but I can’t stop blubbing
OLLIE UPTON/BBC/NEAL STREET PRODUCTIONS
Carol
Midgley
TV review
Call the Midwife
BBC One
{{{{(
Sir Bruce: a Celebration
BBC One
{{{((
C
all the Midwife is uniquely
irritating. Thank goodness
it’s over for another year
so I can stop crying against
my will. Someone should
arrest Heidi Thomas, the creator,
for witchcraft. Every week I summon
all my cynicism, remind myself that
it’s so often clichéd and twee and
my tastes are far too sophisticated
for such shameless sentimentality,
thank you very much. Then what
happens? Forty minutes in, like
millions of other viewers, I’m blubbing
Radio Choice
James Jackson
Mind the Gender
Pay Gap
Radio 4, 8pm
Protesting about the gender
pay gap isn’t new. Go back
to the 16th century and
there are examples of work
pay divided along gender
lines, while in 1888 the
London matchgirls of Bow
in east London brought their
factory to a halt amid much
publicity. Professor Emma
Griffin explores this history
of wage inequality, bringing
it up to date, as a way of
examining the politics.
Analysis: What Are
Universities For?
Radio 4, 8.30pm
In 1945 about 2 per cent
of us went to university,
but by 1999 Tony Blair had
declared: “I set a target of
50 per cent of young adults
going into higher education
in the next century.” Today
we’re close to that figure.
Taxpayers and students pay
for it, but is that money well
spent? If you read economics
at LSE then you should be
in line for a £55,000-a-year
job at least, but if you go
to Central Lancashire
University then you may
earn under £19,000 (it is
claimed here). The Observer
leader writer Sonia Sodha
looks at a system that, it is
argued, works much better
for some than others.
like a human snot machine. It’s
mainstream mind control.
Last night, despite Barbara’s funeral
and the raw grief of poor, poor Tom
(luckily they have the same names as
characters from The Good Life, making
it fractionally less sad), it was possible
to hold it together for a while. But
then came the tale of two elderly gay
men, one with presenile dementia and
their tender, loving relationship,
which, of course, was then illegal and
— oh no, here we go again.
As they embraced in a park at night
(they could never go in daylight), one
promising to look after the other —
“We’ll face this together” — my eyes
brimmed. Annoying. Then there was a
spate of births, one a teenage girl who
was giving her baby up for adoption,
but who wanted to give her a name
first: “Barbara.” A cheesy coincidence,
yes, but it set me off again. Where
do they get all that amazing real
birth footage that brings a lump
to the throat? A retainer with
One Born Every Minute?
By the end, when they ran that
cine-reel of Sister Monica Joan’s life
to mark her birthday, it was easier just
to give in and openly bawl. (How did
Trixie manage to send that bit of
footage from abroad, by the way? I’m
sure that wasn’t easy in 1963.) With
the final voiceover from Vanessa
Redgrave (“We flicker on a screen . . .
eternal as a heartbeat and even when
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Adele Roberts
12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00
Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The 8th with Charlie
Sloth 11.00 Huw Stephens 1.00am Radio
1’s Drum & Bass Show with René LaVice 3.00
Radio 1’s Specialist Chart with Cel Spellman
4.00 Early Breakfast with Jordan North
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce. Ricky
Gervais begins his Tracks of My Years
selection 12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve
Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo. With guest Gary
Brooker 7.00 The Blues Show with Paul
Jones. New and classic blues tracks 8.00 Ana
Matronic 10.00 Six Decades of British Soul
(r) 11.00 David Rodigan 12.00 Johnnie
Walker’s Sounds of the 70s 2.00am Radio
2’s Jazz Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Great
British Songbook 4.00 Radio 2 Playlists:
Hidden Treasures 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Music, news and the occasional surprise,
with Petroc Trelawny. Including 7.00, 8.00
News. 7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
The journalist, war correspondent,
broadcaster and author Kate reveals the
cultural influences that have inspired her life
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Haydn (1732-1809)
Donald Macleod recalls how, summoned by
the musician and impresario Johann Peter
Salomon, Haydn took London by storm.
Haydn (Divertimento in C, 3rd mvt Finale,
Hob II:32. Molto vivace; Al tuo seno
fortunato — L’anima del filosofo; The Seven
Last Words of Our Saviour on the Cross,
HobXX:1; Sonata II, Grave e cantabile;
String Quartet in D, Op 64 No 5, 1st mvt
“The Lark” Allegro, Ho bIII:63; and
Symphony No 96 in D, “Miracle” Hob I:96)
1.00pm News
1.02 Live Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Andrew MacGregor presents a recital from
London’s Wigmore Hall, with Calidore String
Quartet performing. Mozart (Divertimento in
F, K138); Caroline Shaw (First Essay:
Nimrod); and Shostakovich (String Quartet
No 9 in E flat, Op 117)
Sister Monica Joan (Judy Parfitt) celebrates her birthday
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Kate Molleson introduces the first week of
concerts by the BBC Philharmonic, with a
focus on Beethoven and his connections,
including a performance with the pianist
Louis Schwitzgebel and the cellist Matthew
Barley. Mozart (Overture, Don Giovanni);
Beethoven (Piano Concerto No 5 in E flat,
Op 73, Emperor; and Overture, Egmont);
Brahms (Symphony No 2 in D, Op 73); Haydn
(Cello Concerto No 1 in C, Hob.VIIb/1); and
Berlioz (Symphonie fantastique, Op 14)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty with a lively mix of chat, arts
news and live performance. Sean’s guests
include Toby Spence, Edmund de Waal and
Ellen Nisbeth. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An eclectic non-stop mix of music,
featuring old favourites together with
lesser-known gems, and a few surprises
thrown in for good measure
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Tom Redmond presents the Royal
Birmingham Conservatoire’s Royal Opening
Gala Concert with Mirga Gražinyte-Tyla
leading the Symphony Orchestra and Chorus
and the pianist Andrey Ivanov. Opening with
the world premiere of Elsewhere by Joe
Cutler, there’s another premiere from
Lithuanian polymath MK Ciurlionis, 117 years
after its composition. In between, the pianist
and student Andrey Ivanov performs Chopin’s
Second Piano Concerto. And to end, that
paean to yearning, Ravel’s second suite from
Daphnis and Chloe — a work described by
Stravinsky as “one of the most beautiful
products in all of French music”. Joe Cutler
(Elsewhereness — world premiere); Chopin
(Piano Concerto No 2 in F minor); Ciurlionis
(In the Forest — UK premiere); and
Ravel (Daphnis and Chloe Suite No 2)
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
The geographer Danny Dorling; Lionel
Shriver, the author and patron of Population
Matters; and Stephen Emmott, the author of
10 Billion, join Matthew Sweet and an
audience at Sage Gateshead to debate
whether we should have fewer children
10.45 The Essay:
New Generation Thinkers
The first of five talks recorded in front of an
audience at the Free Thinking Festival at the
Sage Gateshead
11.00 Jazz Now
12.30am Through the Night
John Shea presents a selection of classical
music, including another chance to hear a
performance of Mahler’s Second Symphony
from the 2014 BBC Proms (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
With Justin Webb and John Humphrys
9.00 Start the Week
With Lionel Shriver and Linda Yueh
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 An Alternative History of Art
Hans-Ulrich Obrist examines the work of the
modernist painter Ibrahim El-Salahi (6/10)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews with Jane Garvey.
Including at 10.45 the 15 Minute Drama:
Part one of the 11th series of Scott Cherry’s
A Small Town Murder starring Meera Syal
11.00 What Are the Odds?
11.30 To Hull and Back
Looking to flex her acting muscles, Sophie
auditions for a part in a pantomime (4/4)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Sarah Daniels (6/40)
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Horse Story
Clare Balding explores the changing bond
between humans and horses (1/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Community Service
By Jonny O’Neill. Drama about a young man
in court for the first time and facing
consequences that risk putting his
whole life in jeopardy
3.00 Brain of Britain
The third heat of the general knowledge
contest. Russell Davies hosts (3/17)
3.30 The Food Programme
Zoe Adjonyoh discusses different kinds
of African cuisine (r)
4.00 The Piano Man
Behind the scenes with the piano
technician Ulrich Gerhartz
4.30 The Digital Human
The potential impact of advances in
technology on the human character (4/6)
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Just a Minute
With Paul Merton, Josie Lawrence,
Jenny Eclair and Tony Hawks (4/6)
7.00 The Archers
Toby has a cunning plan
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
the heart falls silent we do not cease to
be because in the end we all become
memories”) we were being played like
an orchestra of cheap violins. But this
is Call the Midwife’s uniquely irritating
superpower. Resistance is futile.
Of all the people whose voice was
going to crack with emotion and who
would almost — almost! — lose it and
cry during the hour-long tribute to the
one-off talent that was Bruce Forsyth
would you have put your money
on it being Dec from Ant and Dec?
Me neither. But Declan Donnelly
seemed properly choked up during his
testimonial in Sir Bruce: a Celebration.
This, of course, is the secret to the duo’s
appeal, which was also Forsyth’s: they
are the genuine article and naturally
connect with the ordinary viewer. It’s
a quality that’s rarer than we think.
Filmed at the London Palladium, the
show began with tap-dancing, then
moved to a musical montage of all
Forsyth’s TV hits: The Generation
Game, Play Your Cards Right, Strictly
Come Dancing, live performances and
Elton John complaining that it took
too long for Forsyth to be knighted.
If you ask me they could have just
shown The Generation Game non-stop
since this showcased all his skills:
showman, dancer, singer and
comedian, with those perfect sideways
looks to camera. That they later gave
the gig to Jim Davidson still defeats me.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
7.45 A Small Town Murder
By Scott Cherry (1/5)
8.00 Mind the Gender Pay Gap
Professor Emma Griffin takes a historical
look at the gender pay gap, to understand
why it is still an issue. See Radio Choice
8.30 Analysis
Considering the fundamental purpose of
universities. See Radio Choice (7/9)
9.00 Aftermath
A 1973 plane crash that affected villages
and towns in Somerset (1/3) (r)
9.30 Start the Week (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Ritula Shah
10.45 Book at Bedtime: The Long Drop
By Denise Mina, abridged by Sian Preece.
Read by Liam Brennan (6/10)
11.00 Something of the Night
Chat show hosted by Libby Purves (2/6)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Political news presented by Sean Curran
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am An Alternative History of Art
The work of Ibrahim El-Salahi (6/10) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Hancock’s Half Hour 8.30 Flywheel,
Shyster and Flywheel 9.00 We’ve Been Here
Before 9.30 King Street Junior 10.00 The
Raj Quartet 11.00 Five Stories by Penelope
Fitzgerald 11.15 Keeping Anne-Marie 12.00
Hancock’s Half Hour 12.30pm Flywheel,
Shyster and Flywheel 1.00 Sherlock Holmes
with Carleton Hobbs 1.30 Fifty Years Around
the Clock 2.00 A Delicate Truth 2.15 Grimm
Thoughts 2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45
Perilous Question: The Drama of the Great
Reform Bill 1832 3.00 The Raj Quartet 4.00
We’ve Been Here Before 4.30 King Street
Junior 5.00 Winston in Love 5.30 Just a
Minute 6.00 Pattern Recognition 6.30
A Good Read 7.00 Hancock’s Half Hour.
Comedy with Tony Hancock 7.30 Flywheel,
Shyster and Flywheel. Re-creation of the
Marx Brothers 1930s radio show. From 1990
8.00 Sherlock Holmes with Carleton Hobbs.
By Arthur Conan Doyle 8.30 Fifty Years
Around the Clock. The origins of Rock Around
the Clock by Bill Haley and the Comets 9.00
Five Stories by Penelope Fitzgerald.
Desideratus. Read by Robert Glenister 9.15
Keeping Anne-Marie. Drama by Dave
Sheasby. From 2003 10.00 Comedy Club:
Just a Minute. With Stephen Fry, Paul
Merton, Jan Ravens and Gyles Brandreth
10.30 A Short Gentleman. By Jon Canter
10.55 The Comedy Club Interview. Part One
of three. Paul Garner chats to Will Smith
11.00 The Now Show. Steve Punt and Hugh
Dennis take a satirical look through the
week’s news 11.30 The Museum of
Everything. Comedy with Marcus Brigstocke
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show with Anna Foster 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00
5 Live Sport. Build-up to Stoke City v
Manchester City in the Premier League 8.00
5 Live Sport: Premier League Football
2017-18 — Stoke City v Manchester City
(Kick-off 8.00). Commentary on the match
from the bet365 Stadium 10.00 Flintoff,
Savage and the Ping Pong Guy 10.30 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night 5.00
Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Joey Barton 10.00 Jim White, Danny
Murphy and Bob Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee
and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Will Gavin
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Stuart
Maconie 4.00 Tom Ravenscroft 7.00 Vic
Galloway 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Lauren Laverne 1.00am
The First Time with Thurston Moore 2.00
Higher and Higher: The Life and Soul of
Jackie Wilson 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Aled Jones 5.00 Classic FM
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00 The Full
Works Concert. Jane Jones presents music
performed by the Boston Symphony
Orchestra. Beethoven (Romance No 2 in F
Op 50); Barber (Adagio for Strings);
Brahms (Symphony No 1 in C minor Op 68);
Offenbach (Gaite Parisienne — highlights);
and Schumann (Violin Concerto in A minor
Op 129) 10.00 Smooth Classics. With
Margherita Taylor 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Monday March 12 2018
11
1G T
JON ROWLEY; MARILYN KINGWILL
Concert
Insula Orch/Equilbey
Barbican
Pop
Rag’n’Bone Man
Alexandra Palace, N22
I
W
{{{{(
t was International Women’s Day,
and international women crowded
onto the Barbican stage. The
conductor was French, the soloists
Moldovan, British and German —
all women. And women, moreover,
proudly wearing the same tricolour
lapel ribbons as were worn by the
suffragettes a century ago.
The Insula Orchestra is a very chic
Parisian period-instrument band
whose founder-conductor Laurence
Equilbey is developing a reputation
for smart programming. Here the
Women’s Day theme was cleverly
sustained not just by the choice of
soloists for Beethoven’s Triple
Concerto (violinist Alexandra
Conunova, cellist Natalie Clein and
pianist Elisabeth Brauer — all fluent,
if a little self-effacing), but also by
following it with the Third Symphony
by Louise Farrenc, a remarkable
woman born the same year (1804) as
Beethoven’s concerto was written.
A Frenchwoman composing
instrumental music at a time when her
male colleagues were writing operas,
she didn’t get the recognition she
deserved for this well-crafted
symphony. In harmonic language it
lies somewhere between Beethoven
and Mendelssohn, cast in four
conventional movements but with far
from conventional instrumental
touches, notably the solo oboe flourish
that opens the work and the use of
timpani to supply the bass line at the
start of the slow movement.
What chiefly impresses, however, is
its sternness. It almost feels like a
tribute to the 18th-century sturm und
drang movement, but with much more
dramatic and far-ranging key changes.
Equilbey set cracking speeds,
especially for the scampering scherzo,
and let the timpanist off the leash to
thunderous effect in the finale. The
suffragettes would surely have
approved of a woman creating sounds
of such power and fury.
Richard Morrison
Concert
BBC CO/Glover
LSO St Luke’s, EC1
T
{{{((
he day before the live
centrepiece of BBC Radio
Three’s International
Women’s Day events, it was
announced that there would
be gender parity in new Proms
commissions. Quota systems are crude
but effective. Less straightforward is
how to programme work by women of
the past, much of it unpublished.
In last Thursday’s concert of works
by five “Forgotten Female Composers”,
the music stood proud despite the
awkward stop-start-chat-play format,
and the haphazard articulation and
intonation of the BBC Concert
Orchestra under Jane Glover.
Florence B Price, whose talent
blossomed despite the insult of the Jim
Crow laws; Johanna Müller-Hermann,
whose lieder slithered luxuriously at
the fringes of modernity in prewar
Vienna; Augusta Holmès, independent
of spirit in the intellectual whirl of
artsfirst night
{{{((
Michael Boyd’s Bristol Old Vic production of Chekhov’s final play feels authentic, sparky and funny
This bittersweet treat
A wonderfully
fluid new
translation by
Rory Mullarkey
brings Chekhov
alive, says Ann
Treneman
Theatre
The Cherry
Orchard
Bristol Old Vic
{{{{(
T
here is not a tree to be seen
in this airy and elegant
production of Chekhov’s last
and, for some at least,
greatest play. “The orchard!”
cries the landowner Madame
Ranyevskaya, as she stares straight at
us, the audience. We look right back,
for the lights are up. On stage, we see
only a branch of luxurious blossom,
though, at times, petals fall from the
sky on to a household collapsing as
fast as old Russia itself.
“Of course, it was the wrong time to
hold a ball,” murmurs Madame R,
played with perfect insouciance by
Kirsty Bushell. Yes, well, you could say
that. She’s broke, the house is doomed,
the orchard being sold. But, hey, let’s
party like it’s pre-revolutionary 1904.
So the vodka flows, the music plays,
the intrigue never stops.
This is a new and wonderfully fluid
translation from the playwright Rory
Mullarkey and, as the director Michael
Boyd also speaks Russian, this may be
as Russian as this play can be and still
be English (if you know what I mean).
It certainly feels authentic: sparky but
funny and also, of course, bittersweet
as we watch these aristos try (and fail)
19th-century Paris; Marianna
Martines, Renaissance woman of
Enlightenment Vienna; and Leokadiya
Kashperova, the Russian concert
pianist and composer whose career
was disrupted by revolution and war.
Price, who is far from forgotten, got
the short straw. Constructed as a
medley of spirituals, Concert Overture
No 2 hardly reflects the subtlety of her
symphonic writing. John Wilson and
his orchestra might have made
something of it. Glover and the
BBCCO couldn’t. The soprano Ilona
Domnich shivered exquisitely in
Müller-Hermann’s Drei Gesänge and
glittered with impeccable agility in
two elegant arias from Martines’s
Sant’Elena.
If Kashperova’s Symphony in B
minor was one revelation, its first
and third movements handsome
and shapely, its second spiced with
folk rhythms, its fourth a little too
spacious, Holmès’s Allegro feroce
was the most exciting and wellexecuted work: muscular, dynamic
and flavourful. She wrote operas too.
Perhaps next International Women’s
Day we will get to hear one of them.
Anna Picard
Pop
Kacey
Musgraves
The O2, SE10
{{{{(
to break the habit of a lifetime and
actually do something. Every effort
has been made to bring it closer,
literally, to us. The designer Tom Piper
reconfigures the theatre, extending the
stage and adding, in the back, tiers of
on-stage seating that replicate the rest
of this gorgeous Georgian theatre. It’s
a sparse staging, the house denoted by
props such as a chaise lounge and the
all-important drinks trolley. The cast
begin in period costumes but, as time
goes by, change into modern clothes.
In many ways it is Trofimov, the
student played with unrelenting
idealism by Enyi Okoronkwo, who
feels the most modern. As he despairs
of the past and eulogises about the
revolutionary future, you feel the word
“Corbynista” coming on.
Jude Owusu is exceptional as
Lopakhin, the self-made man. “It’s true
my father was a peasant,” he says, “and
here I am in a white waistcoat and
yellow shoes, like a pig in a pastry
shop. The only thing is that I’m rich.”
And so he is, the future of Russia
personified. But, still, the petals fall.
Box office: 0117 987 7877, to April 7;
Royal Exchange, Manchester, from
April 19 to May 19
C
ountry music has
traditionally been a niche
interest in Britain; all those
tales of truck-driving men
and purdy women don’t
really apply to our rainy old island. Yet
20,000 Brits in inappropriate stetsons
can’t be wrong and Kacey Musgraves,
the Saturday night headliner at the
O2’s winningly cheery Country To
Country festival, might have a lot to
do with the genre’s rising popularity.
Here was a relatable but glamorous
figure who took American
professionalism and sprinkled it
with a black-humoured realism.
There was depth and
ccomplication. Musgraves was no
Barbie doll; that made her intriguing.
“I apologise to any classy listeners
out there for using the F word,” said
Musgraves, 29, expressing her shock at
headlining the O2 after a beautifully
languid love song called Slow Burn.
Dressed in a rainbow rhinestone
jumpsuit and blue chubby, she said
she had moved away from pure
country on her new album as a result
of being recently married and
therefore too happy to sing tales of
woe, but there was no shortage of
ith his hefty frame
and surly demeanour,
Rory “Rag’n’Bone
Man” Graham looks
like the kind of man
you wouldn’t want to meet in a dark
alley — and that’s before you notice
the facial tattoos. Then he opens his
mouth and lets that resonating
baritone well up from the depths of his
soul and it is a different story.
The disparity between appearance
and expression is key to Rag’n’Bone
Man’s appeal. Here is an everyday
bloke with the ability to capture the
wellspring of human emotion, and it
has touched a nerve. Human won a
Brit award for best single, while his
2017 album of the same name went to
No 1 and became the fastest-selling
debut by a male artist in a decade. This
concert was a celebration of Graham’s
breakout year. It displayed him as a
great singer and a likeable figure, but
also one rather too happy to pander to
Radio 2-friendly mass appeal.
“I’m fat and I can’t dance, but I can
write a few songs,” said Graham. And
he can. Odetta, a blues-tinged ballad
about the daughter of a troubled
friend, was heartfelt, while Lay My
Body evoked the tearjerking passion of
Otis Redding. A tight band featuring a
brass section and powerful backing
vocals from Desri Rasmus brought a
suitable air of weightiness to it all. It’s
just when he slipped into earnest
sentiment that it became a little hard
to take seriously.
Life In Her Yet, a tribute to Graham’s
grandmother, headed towards Ed
Sheeran schmaltz. When he invited a
rapper friend to guest on a jazz-funk
song called Run With the Beast it
brought unwelcome memories of David
Brent: Life On The Road. Yet a singalong
of the big hits Skin and Human
reminded us what Graham is so good
at: making the audience feel he is just
the same as them, only with a better
voice. He really is the male Adele.
Will Hodgkinson
good old dysfunction in her banjo and
pedal steel-laden songs here. “This is
about all the really weird people in
your family,” she said of Family Is
Family, which describes her own
people as owning too much wicker and
drinking too much liquor.
The title of Musgraves’ 2013 debut
Same Trailer Different Park pointed to
her shtick: a downwardly mobile
small-town woman who sings with a
kind of unsentimental affection about
everyday tears and joys. That album’s
Follow Your Arrow was a high point of
the set: a sunny live-and-let-live ode to
being promiscuous, sleeping with
people of the same sex, and basically
doing whatever you want without
worrying about the hypocritical
judgments of others.
It put Musgraves in the company of
Jeannie C Riley and Bobbie Gentry,
late-1960s country stars who stood up
for themselves in a no-nonsense way.
She also shares with them a pure vocal
style, hitting the notes rather than
warbling around them in the modern
over-emoting fashion. Perhaps
Musgraves, the rebel of pop country, is
more traditional than she seems.
Will Hodgkinson
12
1G T
Monday March 12 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Chris Bennion
Being Blacker
BBC Two, 9pm
The Baftawinning
film-maker
Molly Dineen
(The Ark, The Lie of the
Land) returns after
a ten-year absence,
and the world of
documentaries is all
Early
Top
pick
the richer for it. An old
friend, Blacker Dread
(also an old subject —
he featured in a student
film that Dineen made
aged 19) asked Dineen
to film his mother’s
funeral. Then events
caused Dineen to keep
shooting for three more
years. The result is this
marvellous film, which
begins as a portrait of
Dread, a legend of
Brixton, south London,
for decades thanks to
his record shop, and
evolves into a subtle
essay on black Britain,
race relations in the
UK, the British
education system, our
courts and prisons.
Born in Jamaica, Dread
came to Britain as a
young boy (“It was
cold”) and became a
leading figure in the
Jamaican dancehall
scene before founding
a reggae music label.
When Dineen finds
Dread dismantling his
record shop, she digs
into why this “column”
of Brixton society is
moving on. “I’ve
allowed things to
happen in my life that
I should not have,” he
says. Via Dread’s
network of family and
friends, Dineen
uncovers a worrying
trend in British society
that boils down to
downright racism.
Dread, who lost his son
Solomon to a drive-by
shooting a decade ago,
has sent his youngest
son, JJ, to live in
Jamaica. His school in
England had given up
on him, in Kingston he
is a straight-A student.
“So what does that tell
me as a father?” asks
Dread. A really clever
bit of film-making.
The Repair Shop
BBC Two, 6.30pm
Antiques Roadshow’s
scruffier sibling returns
as Jay Blades and his
gang attempt to repair
more of the nation’s
battered and bruised
heirlooms. Inside their
needlessly twee barn
the team get to grips
with a wooden screen
created by the Finnish
designer Alvar Aalto,
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back the Years. New
series. Lifestyle magazine looking at how to stay well,
live longer and be healthy (AD) 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer. Properties in Kent, Hammersmith and Derby (r)
11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming. New series. Return of the
programme following the work of High Court enforcement
officers, with Rob and Gerald trying to get wages a
woman claims she is owed by a care home 11.45 Caught
Red Handed. A former wrestler tackles a thief fleeing a
jewellery store (r) (AD) 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. From
Newark Antiques Fair in Nottinghamshire (AD) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
1.45 Doctors. Daniel finds someone to fix the IT problem,
while Jimmi comes across a crashed car on his way to
work (AD) 2.15 Escape to the Country. Searching for a
property in North Yorkshire (AD) 2.45 A Service of
Celebration for Commonwealth Day. Jeremy Bowen
presents live from Westminster Abbey 4.15 Flog It!
Charles Hanson and Catherine Southon seek treasures in
Morecambe, Lancashire (r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show
hosted by Alexander Armstrong (r) 6.00 BBC News at
Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Caught Red Handed (r) 6.30 Coast and Country
Auctions (r) 7.15 Wanted Down Under Revisited (r) 8.00
Sign Zone: Hugh’s Wild West (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria
Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 The Week in
Parliament 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00pm Women’s Six
Nations Highlights. Action from the fourth round of
fixtures (r) 1.30 Yes Chef. The Michelin-starred chef
Galton Blackiston puts four home cooks through a series
of culinary challenges (r) 2.15 Your Home in Their Hands.
Amateur interior design show hosted by Celia Sawyer (r)
(AD) 3.15 Planet Earth. A look at how the sun affects
life on Earth through the seasons (r) (AD) 4.15 Into the
Wild with Gordon Buchanan. The film-maker takes
well-known faces on an adventure to observe some of the
UK’s most iconic species, beginning with a trip with
Alastair Campbell (r) (AD) 5.15 Put Your Money Where
Your Mouth Is. Paul Hayes and John Cameron search for
items at a car boot sale in Essex to sell for profit 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
6.30 The Repair Shop. New series. The team takes on an
antique plate camera, a dilapidated piece of designer
furniture and a violin. See Viewing Guide
6.00am Good Morning Britain. A lively mix of news and
current affairs, plus health, entertainment and lifestyle
features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current affairs
and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories, cooking and
gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat show
10.30 This Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly
Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen. Including Local Weather 12.30pm
Loose Women. The panellists are joined by the singer and
television presenter Kim Wilde and the reality stars Joey
Essex and Spencer Matthews for more topical studio
discussion from a female perspective 1.30 ITV News;
Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder. Cameras follow the criminal
barrister Robert Rinder as he takes on real-life cases in a
studio courtroom (r) 3.00 Tenable. Five team-mates from
York answer questions about top 10 lists, then try to
score a perfect 10 in the final round as the quiz hosted by
Warwick Davis returns (r) 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben
Shephard hosts the arcade-themed quiz show (r) 5.00
The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents the quiz show 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Live Winter Paralympics. Further coverage of day
three, featuring the men’s and women’s snowboardcross
events from Jeongseon Alpine Centre, and Sweden v
Great Britain in wheelchair curling at Gangneung Curling
Centre 8.00 Winter Paralympics Breakfast. The latest
action from day three in Pyeongchang, South Korea 9.00
Frasier (r) (AD) 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
(r) 11.00 Undercover Boss USA (r) 12.00 Channel 4
News Summary 12.05pm Come Dine with Me. Four hosts
in Weymouth compete to throw the best dinner party (r)
1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers. Larry and Neil examine a Michael
Jackson gold disc (r) 2.10 Countdown. With Dictionary
Corner guest Liz Bonnin 3.00 A Place in the Sun: Summer
Sun. Laura Hamilton shows two Kent retirees five
properties in Menorca (r) 4.00 A New Life in the Sun.
A Norfolk couple take over a French village’s only hotel
5.00 Four in a Bed. The competition kicks off at Hope
Mountain in Cymau, Flintshire (r) 5.30 Extreme Cake
Makers. Eloise creates four-foot tall replica of the Statue
of Liberty (r) 6.00 The Simpsons. Bart gets the chance to
save the school from closure (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Sienna gets a shock when she returns home (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright is joined by a panel of guests and a studio
audience to debate the issues of the day 11.15 Can’t Pay?
We’ll Take It Away. In West London, agents Max and Cona
chase up more than £2,000 in unpaid parking fines, while
officers in Lancashire try to collect £4,000 owed for
unpaid nursery fees (r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime
12.15 The Gadget Show. Jon Bentley and Craig Charles
see if cutting-edge tech can put them on a par with
professional decorators. Plus, a trip to the world’s biggest
consumer electronics show (r) 1.10 Access 1.15 Home
and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.20 NCIS: Naval
Killer. Lt Col Mann arrives to assist with inquiries into the
murder of a Marine — a case that becomes personal for
Gibbs when he learns one of the witnesses is his ex-wife
Stephanie (r) (AD) 3.20 FILM: Deadly Daycare (TVM,
2014) A divorcee suspects a nursery is mistreating her
young daughter. Thriller starring Kayla Ewell and Christy
Carlson Romano 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Izzy
admits that she stole Karl’s sperm sample and has used it
(r) (AD) 6.00 Home and Away. Ben and Coco search the
Bay for Maggie (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Get a
Armistead Maupin – How I wrote Tales of the City
“I should like to spend my
whole life reading it...”
7PM
Northanger Abbey
7.00 The One Show Presented by
Matt Baker and Angellica Bell
8PM
9PM
10PM
11PM
Paula Byrne Celebrated houses of fiction
Edward Allen Marianne Moore, and more
Nabeelah Jaffer Islam and Britishness
Libby Purves Tinder of the 1940s
SEPTEMBER 15 2017 No. 5972
972
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THE TIMES LITERARY
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SUPPLEMENT
Patrick J. Murray Montaigne’s social network
Jamie Fisher Angry like Mailer
Charlotte Shane Provocations of feminism
Samuel Earle Never getting bored of Barthes
SEPTEMBER 29 2017 No. 5974
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THE TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
Laura Freeman Dress like a writer
Colin Grant Lost voices of immigration
Anne McElvoy The passion of Merkel
Krishan Kumar On statues and Nazis
UK £3.50 USA $8.99
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THE TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
Tales of addiction
Inspirations of Dante
Rowan Williams
Ian Thomson
Wandering, wondering
Eric J. Iannelli
Terri Apter
UK £3.50 USA $8.99
£20
Waterstones
Gift Card when
you subscribe
to the TLS
Annette Kobak on women and the Grand Tour
Jan Marsh on Ruskin in Europe
7.00 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc and Chris
Harris take second-hand sports cars on
a road trip across the Japanese island
of Honshu. Meanwhile, Rory Reid
explores Tokyo’s weirdest car-based
subculture, and out on the track,
Chris compares the Honda Civic Type R
to the Lexus LC500 (3/6) (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Devastating news places
Rebecca’s future with Seb in jeopardy,
while Gabby and Liv plot to spike Daz’s
drink with a vial of ketamine (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street Gemma and
Tyrone resolve to forget their night
together, while Josh orders David
to seek medical advice (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
8.00 EastEnders Keegan’s dad Mitch turns
up in the Square, while Ian makes a
surprise return from New Zealand (AD)
8.00 Only Connect Victoria Coren Mitchell
hosts as round three losers the
Detectives and the Beaks compete
8.00 The Kyle Files Examining how the
nation’s public services are becoming
increasingly overstretched (2/6) (AD)
8.30 Classic Mary Berry A range of
recipes inspired by produce grown in
Britain, including her own version
of a classic tarte Tatin (3/6) (AD)
8.30 University Challenge Jeremy
Paxman asks the questions as the
quarter-final matches continue
8.30 Coronation Street Fiz forces a
confession from Tyrone, and
Audrey’s new client challenges
her natural scepticism (AD)
8.00 Undercover: Who’s Policing Your
Bank? — Channel 4 Dispatches
An investigation into the
Financial Ombudsman
8.30 Food Unwrapped Kate Quilton asks
why some vanilla ice-creams are more
expensive than others (5/6) (AD)
8.00 Extreme Winter Road Rescue
In Glasgow, vehicle technician Mark
rushes to help a driver who has broken
down on the hard shoulder of the
motorway, while Kevin and Rob of a
heavy recovery crew free lorries that
have got stuck in snow on the A1M
in the north-east of England (3/4)
9.00 MasterChef Seven more contenders
compete in the cookery challenge, with
their first task being to invent and
then cook one dish using ingredients
from the MasterChef Market in
an hour and 10 minutes (AD)
9.00 Being Blacker Molly Dineen’s
documentary about Blacker Dread,
a Jamaican-born reggae producer,
businessman, father, son and
pillar of the community in Brixton.
The film focuses on a tumultuous
time in his life as he deals with the
death of his mother and the prospect
of his first prison sentence.
See Viewing Guide (AD)
9.00 Marcella The detective deduces that
a binder was stolen from Reg’s house
when she was attacked and confronts
the ageing rock star and Alan about it.
Meanwhile, Phil heads to Marcella’s
house — where Edward is home alone
— to exact his revenge on her.
See Viewing Guide (4/8) (AD)
9.00 24 Hours in Police Custody
Cameras follow as police dig in the
back garden of a house in Luton
searching for the body of a woman
who disappeared in 2003, believing a
fingertip search might reveal clues
in a suspected murder enquiry (AD)
9.00 Panic at 30,000 Feet: Airline
Emergency New series. Exploring
what happens when flights lose
control, including the family flight that
ended in disaster when a collision left
passengers free-falling through
burning debris at 12,000 feet (1/3)
7.30 Inside Out Regional documentary
Late
a plate camera that
survived the trenches
of the First World
War and a violin that
saved its owner’s life
in Auschwitz. Can
any of these items
be restored to their
former glory? There is
something wonderfully
soothing about
watching these boxes
of broken bits and
bobs transformed into
treasured objects.
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.45 Imagine: Ingrid Bergman in Her
Own Words The director Stig
Björkman’s film profiles the Swedish
schoolgirl who became one of the most
celebrated actresses of American and
World cinema — Ingrid Bergman. With
contributions from her daughters
Isabella Rossellini and Pia Lindstrom,
while Alicia Vikander reads from
the Hollywood icon’s letters and
diaries. See Viewing Guide
12.25am Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You
Rev, Doctor Thorne and The Night Manager star Tom
Hollander hosts, with the comedian Hal Cruttenden
and UKIP leadership candidate Suzanne Evans joining
captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton to poke fun at
the week’s news (r) 1.15-6.00 BBC News
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Emily Maitlis
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 Regional News
10.45 Rachel Nickell: The Untold Story
Fiona Bruce looks into the murder
of 23-year-old Rachel Nickell on
Wimbledon Common in 1992,
talking to people whose lives were
changed by the crime (r) (AD)
7.30 Winter Paralympics Today Clare
Balding and Jonnie Peacock present
action from day three of the Games
in Pyeongchang, South Korea (SL)
7.00 Anglo-Welsh Cup Highlights
Mark Durden-Smith and David Flatman
present action from the semi-finals.
Bath faced Northampton Saints at the
Recreation Ground in the first match,
and defending Premiership champions
Exeter Chiefs took on Leicester Tigers
at Sandy Park in the second semi (5/6)
10.00 Electric Dreams: Safe and Sound
A small-town teenager moves
to a big city with her mother and is
exposed for the first time to urban
society’s emphasis on security
and terrorism prevention.
See Viewing Guide (9/10) (AD)
10.00 Armed and Deadly: Police UK
New series. Following operations
carried out by the UK’s armed police
officers, combining real footage from
the missions with news coverage
of the aftermath, and testimony
from the officers themselves (1/4)
11.00 The X-Files Mulder and Scully find
themselves targets in a deadly game
of cat and mouse, in a world of
ever-increasing automation and
artificial intelligence (7/10) (AD)
11.55 Traffic Cops: Under Attack
A murder suspect is pursued
through Bradford (r)
12.55am Britain’s Greatest Bridges Rob Bell
considers London’s Tower Bridge 1.10 SuperCasino 3.10
Cowboy Builders. A disastrous six-month renovation
project on a terraced property in Lancashire (r) 4.00 Now
That’s Funny! (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10
House Busters (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
11.15 Putin: The New Tsar The story of
Vladimir Putin’s extraordinary rise to
power — from a lowly KGB colonel to
Boris Yeltsin’s right-hand man and
ultimately his successor as Russian
President. Contributors include Sergei
Pugachev and Garry Kasparov (r)
11.50 The Kyle Files Jeremy Kyle examines
the effect of the overstretching of
public services (2/6) (r) (AD)
11.00 Winter Paralympics Highlights
Clare Balding and Jonnie Peacock
present further action from day three
of the Games in Pyeongchang, South
Korea, including more analysis of the
snowboardcross and Great Britain’s
wheelchair curling match against
reigning champions Canada
12.15am Odyssey Odelle and Luc head to Algeria,
hoping to lead a quiet life (r) (AD) 12.55 Odyssey. Odelle
is blackmailed. Last in the series (r) (AD) 1.40 Sign Zone:
Countryfile. Reports from the archive on the theme of
water (r) (SL) 2.35-3.20 Royal Recipes. Anna Haugh
bakes some biscuits fit for a prince (r) (AD, SL)
12.15am 100 Years Younger in 21 Days The group
faces a liquid diet and a two-hour trek up a mountain (r)
(AD) 1.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming 3.00 The
Jeremy Kyle Show. Guests air their differences (r) (SL)
3.55 ITV Nightscreen. Text-based information service
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.15am-6.00 Live Winter Paralympics Coverage of
day four, featuring the men’s and women’s super
combined alpine skiing events, and Team GB’s Scott
Meenagh in the 12.5km biathlon. Plus, Great Britain v
Slovakia in wheelchair curling at Gangneung Curling
Centre. With commentary by Rob Walker and Sean Rose
the times | Monday March 12 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
Marcella
ITV, 9pm
Could this crime drama
get any more bonkers?
Well, yes, actually. Last
week ended on a
cliffhanger as young
Adam escaped the
unknown psycho’s
clutches and hopped
into a passing car.
Before you can say
“stranger danger”
events take another
turn for the plain
mad thanks to an
unfortunately placed
level crossing . . .
Meanwhile, Phil
Dawkins blames
Marcella (Anna Friel)
for his girlfriend’s
miscarriage and
Marcella learns how
far her ex-husband,
Jason, will go to be
rid of her (I am Team
Jason all the way). A
truly bananas series.
Electric Dreams:
Safe and Sound
Channel 4, 10pm
In what has been a
disappointing series
of Philip K Dick
adaptations, this is
one of the better
efforts. Set in a future
America divided
between an aggressive,
surveillance-heavy
west and a free-living,
organic east — it stars
Maura Tierney (of ER
fame) as an eastern
anti-surveillance
campaigner who takes
her teenage daughter
to a western city to fight
the good fight. It ain’t
subtle — schoolchildren
are taught to conform
and told how to spot
“terrorists”. However,
Annalise Basso is very
good as the teenager
seduced by her new
life in the city.
Imagine . . . Ingrid
Bergman
BBC One, 10.45pm
Stig Björkman’s
intimate and poignant
film raids Bergman’s
personal archive to
excellent effect. Using
the actress’s diaries
and letters (read with
pleasing melancholy
by the actress Alicia
Vikander) as well as
her beloved 16mm
home video footage,
the documentary works
as a haunting, intimate
autobiography. “I have
lived with a bird of
passage inside me,”
she says, and it is
Bergman’s restlessness
that strikes as she
pours passion into each
film and relationship,
before moving on to
the next. “I have seen
so much and yet it
is never enough.”
Sport Choice
Sky Mix, 7.25am
The qualifying matches
for the 2019 Cricket
World Cup continue
with a match between
West Indies and the
Netherlands at the
Harare Sports Club.
The Windies got off to a
fine start, smashing 123
from 91 balls in their
opening match against
United Arab Emirates.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Monkey Life (r) 7.00 RSPCA Animal
Rescue (r) 8.00 Motorway Patrol (r) 9.00 Road
Wars (r) 10.00 Warehouse 13 (r) 11.00 Forever
(r) (AD) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 1.00pm
Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00 The Simpsons (r)
5.30 Futurama (r)
6.00 Futurama (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 David Attenborough’s Wild City. The
wildlife of Singapore. Last in the series (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: Ghostbusters (12, 1984) Three
eccentric scientists set up a ghost-catching
business together and end up having to save the
world. Supernatural comedy with Bill Murray
11.00 The Force: Essex. Officers chase a
speeding car through Chelmsford (r)
12.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World. Australia’s
notorious motorcycle clubs (r) (AD) 1.00am
Brit Cops: Rapid Response (r) (AD) 2.00 Most
Shocking (r) 3.00 The Force: Essex (r) 4.00
It’s Me or the Dog (r) (AD) 5.00 Futurama (r)
6.00am Urban Secrets (r) 8.00 The British (r)
(AD) 9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Ocean Rescue:
A Plastic Whale (r) 3.00 The West Wing (r)
5.00 House. A bride has internal bleeding (r)
6.00 House. A patient’s overly amiable
personality raises suspicions (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
Grissom tries to identify a bomber (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. A bank robbery turns
into a hostage situation (r) (AD)
9.00 Alan Partridge’s Scissored Isle. Spoof
documentary starring Steve Coogan (r) (AD)
10.00 Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.
A satirical look at news and pop culture
10.35 Our Cartoon President. The President
tries to win back Ivanka Trump (r)
11.10 Real Time with Bill Maher (r)
12.20am Crashing. Pete has a chance encounter
(r) 12.55 Divorce (r) 1.30 Here and Now (r)
2.35 Billions (r) (AD) 3.45 The Shape of
Water: Special 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese:
A Year to Save My Life USA (r) 8.00 Children’s
Hospital (r) (AD) 8.30 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
9.00 Criminal Minds (r) 10.00 Cold Case (r)
11.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia 12.00
Obese: A Year to Save My Life USA (r) 1.00pm
Stop, Search, Seize (r) (AD) 2.00 Nothing to
Declare (r) (AD) 4.00 Border Security: Canada’s
Front Line (r) (AD) 5.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (r) 6.00 Criminal Minds (r)
7.00 The Real A&E (3/10) (r) (AD)
7.30 The Real A&E (4/10) (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary. Watson and Holmes
look for a doctor selling drugs (r) (AD)
9.00 Criminal Minds. A killer is leaving cryptic
messages inside the victims’ mouths
10.00 Blindspot. Zapata interrogates a past foe
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Cold Case (r) 2.00 Elementary (r) (AD)
3.00 Cold Case (r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
(AD) 5.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia (r)
6.00am Dvorák: The Complete Symphonies 6.55
Turandot on Sydney Harbour 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected 9.30 Master of Photography (AD)
11.00 The Sixties (AD) 12.00 Trailblazers:
Dance 1.00pm Discovering: Joan Fontaine (AD)
2.00 Tales of the Unexpected 2.30 Master of
Photography 3.30 Video Killed the Radio Star
4.00 The Seventies (AD) 5.00 Soundbreaking
(AD) 6.00 Discovering: Richard Harris
7.00 Auction. Marble lions are sold
7.30 California Dreamin’: The Songs of the
Mamas and the Papas. Documentary (AD)
8.45 Frank Sinatra: A Man and His Music.
A television special from November 1965
10.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2018. With
sitters Meera Syal, Derek Jacobi and Kirsty Wark
11.00 The South Bank Show Originals
11.30 The South Bank Show Originals
12.00 The History of Comedy (AD)
1.00am Classic Artists: Yes 3.15 The Doors:
Feast of Friends (AD) 4.00 Dag 4.30
Tales of the Unexpected 5.00 Auction
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans Bitesize
7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 8.00
Live Test Cricket: South Africa v Australia.
Coverage of day four of the second Test in the
four-match series, taking place at St George’s
Park in Port Elizabeth 3.30pm Sky Sports
News 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6.
The latest sports news and updates
7.00 Live MNF: Stoke City v Manchester City
(Kick-off 8.00). Coverage of the Premier League
clash, which comes from the Bet365 Stadium.
Paul Lambert’s side are in desperate need of
three points, but face an uphill struggle here
against Pep Guardiola’s men, who are moving
ever closer to a third Premier League title
11.00 Live ATP Masters Tennis. Coverage from
day five of the BNP Paribas Open, which takes
place at Indian Wells Tennis Garden in California,
where the reigning champion is Roger Federer
5.30am My Icon: Heather Watson
5.45 My Icon: Casey Stoney
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Dancing
Back in Time. Residents of Strabane are taught
how to swing dance (r) 10.40 True North: My
Injured Brain. How two men’s lives changed
because of respective brain injuries 11.10
Imagine: Ingrid Bergman in Her Own Words. A
profile of the actress. See Viewing Guide
12.50am Have I Got a Bit More Old News for
You. Extended edition. With Hal Cruttenden and
Suzanne Evans (r) 1.35-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Orkney:
When the Boat Comes In. A look at the impact
of tourists on the lives of Orcadians (r)
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 X-Ray.
A south Wales roofing company that left
families out of pocket 10.40 The Hour.
A debate on the approach to crime in Wales
11.40 Imagine: Ingrid Bergman in Her Own
Words. See Viewing Guide 1.25am Weather
for the Week Ahead 1.30-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 11.15pm Rothai Mora an
tSaoil. Conclusion of the documentary following
passengers on a Donegal bus 11.45 Putin: The
New Tsar. The story of Russian President
Vladimir Putin’s rise to power (r) 12.45am
Women’s Six Nations Highlights. Action from
the fourth round (r) 1.15-1.40 BBC News
Find a lifelong companion in the TLS, the world’s leading international literary journal.
Buy a subscription to the Times Literary Supplement as a present
(even for yourself) and get a £20 Waterstones Gift Card.
To subscribe visit tlssubs.imbmsubs.com/tlswater12 or call 01293 312178 and quote code TLSWATER12
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days. News and analysis
7.30 Great Irish Journeys with Martha Kearney.
The broadcaster follows in the footsteps of the
19th-century artist George Victor Du Noyer,
who spent 35 years charting the landscape,
people and buildings of Ireland (r) (AD)
8.00 Treasures of the Indus. Sona Datta
explores the history of the Indian subcontinent
through its people, places and dynasties,
beginning by investigating Pakistan’s
intriguing multicultural past (r) (AD)
9.00 The Art of Spain. Documentary exploring
the influences on Spanish art, beginning with
the Moorish history of the country and the
impact it had on its culture (r) (AD)
10.00 Caligula with Mary Beard. An insight into
the life of the Roman emperor (r) (AD)
11.00 Mothers, Murderers and Mistresses:
Empresses of Ancient Rome. Catharine Edwards
explores the lives of Messalina and Agrippina (r)
12.00 On Camera: Photographers at the BBC
(r) 1.00am Top of the Pops: 1982 (r) 2.00
Fabric of Britain (r) 3.00 Thomas Chatterton:
The Myth of the Doomed Poet (r) 3.30-4.00
The Beauty of Anatomy (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Couples Come
Dine with Me (r) 8.00 Baby Daddy (r) 9.00
Melissa & Joey (r) 10.00 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r)
(AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 1.00pm The
Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 3.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 4.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The
Goldbergs. Comedy starring Jeff Garlin (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Sienna ends up in a dangerous
situation and desperately needs some help (AD)
7.30 My Hotter Half. Married couples take part
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 Young Sheldon (r) (AD)
9.00 Made in Chelsea. New series. Reality show
10.00 Five Star Hotel. New series. Famous faces
take over a luxury Greek hotel for a season
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.00 First Dates (r) (AD) 1.10am Five Star
Hotel (r) 2.10 Made in Chelsea (r) 3.00 Tattoo
Fixers (r) (AD) 3.55 First Dates Abroad (r)
(AD) 4.20 Couples Come Dine with Me (r)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) 9.30 A Place in the
Sun: Winter Sun (r) 11.35 Four in a Bed (r)
2.10pm Come Dine with Me (r) 4.50
A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r)
6.55 The Supervet. Dr Noel Fitzpatrick treats
a puppy with walking difficulties (r) (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud follows a
couple who bought an 18th-century folly near
Newport, Gwent (3/8) (r) (AD)
9.00 Car SOS. Fuzz Townshend and Tim Shaw
restore a 1941 Austin 10 utility truck owned by
a former soldier. Last in the series (AD)
10.00 Inside Bentley: A Great British Motor Car.
Documentary going behind the scenes at the car
company’s plant as work gets underway on a
range of 4x4s, from the factory floor to the
world’s most exclusive car showroom (r) (AD)
11.05 24 Hours in A&E. A 92-year-old is
admitted with breathing difficulties and a
swollen leg, while doctors fear a 25-year-old
woman with a genetic disorder may have
suffered a stroke (3/6) (r) (AD)
12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
1.10 Car SOS (r) (AD) 2.05 The Good Fight (r)
(AD) 3.10-3.50 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut (r)
11.00am Decision at Sundown (U, 1957)
Western starring Randolph Scott 12.35pm The
Comancheros (PG, 1961) Western starring
John Wayne 2.45 The Colditz Story (U,
1954) Second World War drama with John Mills
(b/w) 4.50 The Tin Star (U, 1957) Anthony
Mann’s Western with Henry Fonda (b/w)
6.40 Crocodile Dundee II (PG, 1988) The
Australian adventurer lures the drug dealers
who kidnapped his girlfriend to the Outback
for a showdown. Comedy adventure sequel
starring Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski
9.00 The Wolverine (12, 2013) The former
member of the X-Men travels to Japan, and
protects a tycoon’s granddaughter from
assassins. Superhero adventure spin-off
with Hugh Jackman and Tao Okamoto (AD)
11.25 The Guest (15, 2014) A couple invite
an old friend of their dead son to stay with
them, but begin to wonder if he is what he
appears to be. Thriller starring Dan Stevens,
Maika Monroe and Brendan Meyer
1.25am-3.20 You’re Next (18, 2011) A
family reunion is besieged by masked strangers
intent on murder. Horror starring Sharni Vinson
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals (r) 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.10
Who’s Doing the Dishes? (r) (AD) 7.55
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.20 Coronation Street (r)
(AD) 9.25 The Ellen DeGeneres Show (r) 10.20
The Bachelor (r) 12.15pm Emmerdale (r) (AD)
12.50 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 1.45 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
4.50 Judge Rinder (r) 5.50 Take Me Out (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 Family Guy. Brian mutilates Stewie’s teddy
bear, while Peter meets a cereal mascot (AD)
9.30 American Dad! Stan suffers a crisis of faith
that ends up taking him to South Korea (AD)
10.00 Action Team. Logan is attacked at his
girlfriend’s parents’ house by an Abacus assassin
10.35 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 American Dad! (r) (AD)
11.55 Plebs (r) (AD) 12.25am Two and a Half
Men (r) 1.20 Ibiza Weekender (r) 2.20
Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.50
Heartbeat (r) 7.55 The Royal (r) (AD) 8.55
Judge Judy (r) 10.20 Inspector Morse (r)
12.35pm The Royal (r) (AD) 1.35 Heartbeat (r)
2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r) 3.50 On the
Buses (r) 4.55 You’re Only Young Twice (r)
5.25 Rising Damp (r) 5.55 Heartbeat (r)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Jessica learns her
former boss, who was previously jailed
for murder, has been accused of stabbing
a man to death (r) (AD)
8.00 Vera. The detective investigates when the
charred remains of a colleague are found in an
abattoir furnace (1/4) (r) (AD)
10.00 DCI Banks. (1/2) The detective is drawn
into the criminal underworld of Soho when he
accepts a request from Rydell to find his missing
daughter (5/6) (r) (AD)
11.00 DCI Banks. (2/2) The detective
uncovers evidence that one of his team is an
informer (6/6) (r) (AD)
12.00 Scott & Bailey. Detective drama (r)
(AD, SL) 1.55am Judge Judy (r) 2.15
ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am Football Rivalries (r) 6.10 The Chase
(r) 7.00 Pawn Stars (r) 7.45 Ironside (r) 8.50
Quincy ME (r) 9.50 Minder (r) (AD) 10.55 The
Sweeney (r) 12.00 The Avengers (r) 1.05pm
Ironside (r) (AD) 2.10 Quincy ME (r) 3.15
Minder (r) (AD) 4.20 The Saint (r) 5.25 The
Avengers. Mrs Peel is kidnapped (r)
6.35 Storage Wars. From El Monte (r)
7.05 Pawn Stars. The guys value a 1920s car (r)
7.35 Pawn Stars. A set of fingerprints (r)
8.00 River Monsters. The Florida Keys (r)
9.00 River Monsters. Jeremy Wade investigates
accounts of a 20ft Canadian lake monster (r)
10.05 FILM: Above the Law (18, 1988)
A cop with martial arts skills risks his life to
destroy a drugs cartel masterminded by a CIA
official. Martial arts thriller starring Steven
Seagal, Pam Grier and Sharon Stone (AD)
12.10am FILM: This Is the End (15, 2013)
A group of movie stars gathers in Hollywood for
a housewarming party, only to be faced with the
Biblical apocalypse. Fantasy comedy with James
Franco and Seth Rogen 2.20 The Protectors (r)
2.45 ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.00 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.00 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters UK 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm
Top Gear (AD) 3.00 Abandoned Engineering
(AD) 4.00 Road Cops 5.00 Top Gear (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. The presenters build a car that
can be turned into a hovercraft (AD)
7.00 Road Cops. Officers are called to a
stand-off with an armed offender (1/10)
7.30 Road Cops. Officers race to a rolled
truck with an explosive load (2/10)
8.00 Cop Car Workshop. Dave has a BMW X5
armed response vehicle build to oversee
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Mock the Week’s Russell
Howard and the regular QI panellist Jo Brand
perform stand-up comedy
10.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit. Jonathan Ross
and Suzi Ruffell play a series of video games
11.00 Taskmaster. A group of comedians
completes a series of tasks
12.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
1.00am QI 1.40 Would I Lie to You? 2.15
Mock the Week 2.50 Suits (AD) 3.35 The
Indestructibles 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am Death Comes to Pemberley (AD) 8.00
London’s Burning (AD) 9.00 Casualty (AD)
10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The Bill 12.00 New
Tricks (AD) 1.00pm Last of the Summer Wine
1.40 Bread 2.20 Birds of a Feather 3.00
London’s Burning (AD) 4.00 New Tricks (AD)
5.00 Bergerac. Jim tracks a rogue financier
6.00 Steptoe and Son. Harold tells Albert
he should move into a nursing home (b/w)
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. News of
an imminent death rocks the friends
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Barry
tires of golf and looks for a new hobby
8.00 Hetty Wainthropp Investigates.
Hetty looks into a suspected kidnapping
9.00 New Tricks. (2/2) Gerry fights to clear
his name (2/10) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. Brian enters an addiction
centre run by monks (1/8) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Garth’s wedding day
arrives. Hundredth episode of the sibling sitcom
12.00 The Bill. A prisoner dies in custody
1.00am Ashes to Ashes 2.15 London’s Burning
(AD) 3.00 Crusoe 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Who Do You Think
You Are? (AD) 11.00 Medieval Dead 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm The Hidden River (AD) 2.00 The
Life of Mammals 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00
Medieval Dead 5.00 Royal Murder Mysteries
6.00 After Hitler. The Nuremberg Trials
7.00 Who Do You Think You Are?
The actress Tamzin Outhwaite looks to
uncover more about her Italian roots (AD)
8.00 Forbidden History. Exploring the possibility
that Jesus was married with children (3/6) (AD)
9.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. Little Arthur goes
missing from Gary’s shop
9.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. Gary plans a
holiday with wartime girlfriend Phoebe
10.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. Yvonne’s
absence causes problems for Gary
11.00 One Foot in the Grave. Margaret comes
into money. Christopher Ryan guest stars
11.40 One Foot in the Grave. Victor receives an
unlikely job offer that paves the way to disaster
12.20am One Foot in the Grave 1.00 Black Ops
(AD) 2.00 Pointless 3.00 Home Shopping
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 6.00pm-6.30 ITV News Wales
at Six 10.45 Sharp End. Political discussion
11.50 Rachel Nickell: The Untold Story. Fiona
Bruce investigates the 1992 murder (r) (AD)
12.40am-1.05 The Kyle Files. The effect of
the overstretching of public services (r) (AD)
ITV Westcountry
As ITV except: 10.30pm-10.45
ITV News West Country
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 Rachel Nickell: The Untold Story. Fiona
Bruce investigates the 1992 murder of
23-year-old Rachel Nickell on Wimbledon
Common (r) (AD) 12.05am Teleshopping
1.05 After Midnight 2.35 Alphabetical (r)
3.25 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
UTV
As ITV except: 10.45pm View from Stormont.
Current affairs and political analysis 11.50
Rachel Nickell: The Untold Story. Fiona Bruce
investigates the 1992 murder (r) (AD)
12.40am The Kyle Files (r) (AD) 1.05
Teleshopping 2.35-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Pàdraig Post: SDS (Postman Pat: SDS)
(r) 5.15 Zack & Quack (r) 5.35 Su Shiusaidh
(Little Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.40 Charlie is Lola
(Charlie and Lola) (r) 5.50 Bruno (r)
5.55 Seonaidh (Shaun the Sheep) (r) 6.00
Alvinnn agus na Chipmunks (r) 6.25 Sràid nan
Sgread (Scream Street) (r) 6.40 Fior
Bhall-coise (Extreme Football) (r) 7.05
Caistealan Alba (r) 7.30 Speaking Our
Language (r) 7.55 Binneas: Na Trads
8.00 An Là (News) 8.30 Cuimhneachan
(Remembrance) (r) 9.00 Trusadh (Compelling
Stories) 10.00 Na Trads (r) 10.30 Opry an Iúir
(r) 11.30-12.00midnight Fonn Fonn Fonn (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
12.05pm Teithiau Tramor Iolo (r) 12.30 Ar
Werth (r) 1.00 Celwydd Noeth (r) 1.30 Codi
Hwyl (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05
Pengelli (r) 3.30 Dilyn y Don (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr
5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Mwy o Stwnsh Sadwrn
5.25 Pengwiniaid Madagascar (r) 5.35 Sgorio
6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Gwaith/
Cartref (r) (AD) 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm.
DJ tries online dating, while Eileen accuses
Sioned of trying to frame her (AD) 8.25 Ward
Plant. A nurse says a tearful goodbye. Last in
the series 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30
Ffermio. Agricultural issues 10.00 Ralïo+
10.30-12.15am Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol
14
Monday March 12 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
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Codeword No 3281
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19
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Train Tracks No 353
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© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7597
20
A
11
8
10
13
3
12
6
9
B
9
21
23
15
26
1
25
24
9
21
16
1
1
10
11
23
18
16
15
13
12
13
14
1
26
19
1
1
15
1
23
24
3
1
10
23
13
6
24
1
4
24
10
2
5
4
4
2
4
3
3
A
H
24
4
3
3
23
8
1
1
5
23
23
15
14
3
14
16
6
17
10
23
24
5
26
5
9
11
24
21
10
19
13
16
24
1
8
5
23
15
8
1
17
3
15
13
13
10
8
1
7
13
13
1
22
1
15
21
16
24
9
9
13
B
7
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
22
11
Across
Unoccupied post (7)
Giant god (5)
Sting; intelligent (5)
Relaxation time (7)
Cry of alarm (3)
Accumulate reserves (9)
Uncivilised person (6)
Ship or train bunks (6)
Solution to Crossword 7596
A
R
M
S
1
20
17
R
I
C
O
C
H
E
T
11
A SCA L
N S
RAMP
R
I
L EA RS
I
X P AND
L
POE T L
T
E
E T I NU
E S
E RV E
S PRE
T
A N
A BR I D
T C
L
I GH T E
C
S
DAMS
L
F
AURE A
T
I
L
E CH I
S A G
T ENAN
S S
T
GE
W
D
E
ON
T
T E
R
NK
E
CY
17 Field and track sports (9)
18 By way of (3)
19 Surgical instrument (7)
20 Neck; beat up (5)
21 Sacred flower (5)
22 With a leg on each side (7)
Down
1 Internal organs (7)
2 Loud metallic noise (5)
3 Word of denial (3)
4 Colour (6)
5 Layer of material (9)
6 Traveller for pleasure (7)
7 Sibling's daughter (5)
11 Without form (9)
13 Receive as an heir (7)
15 Glittering ornament (7)
16 Religious festival (6)
17 Very bad (5)
18 Italian opera composer (5)
20 Put (in place) (3)
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
22
10
If you enjoy the times2 Crossword, you’ll
love Quintagram, our new and exclusive
clue-solving challenge
1
2
3
4
5
6
14
15
16
17
18
19
11
11
7
8
9
10
20
21
22
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11
12
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25
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Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
A
H
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
letters in the main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
Saturday’s solution, right
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or
text TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution
call 0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Lexica No 4171
S
M
W
A
C
D
U
C
I
B
H
I
Y
I
I
D
C
A
N
F
E
L
O
N
I
L
N
G
U
E
K
N
E
I
Winners will receive a Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle and text in the numbers in the three
shaded boxes. Text TIMES followed by a space, then your
three numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your name, address
and postcode to 84901 (UK only), by midnight. Or enter
by phone. Call 09012 925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three answer numbers (in any
order) and your contact details.
No 4172
R
T
Y
O
C
D
P
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard
network charge. Winners will be picked at random from all
correct answers received. One draw per week. Lines close at
midnight tonight. If you call or text after this time you will not
be entered but will still be charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390
(Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
What are your favourite
puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
T
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce
a completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Easy No 4273
Futoshiki No 3126
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
<
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
1
B
S
See today’s News section
21
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
I
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2
∨
Kakuro No 2085
<
∨
∨
25
14
31
17
17
3
>
∧
13
24
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
23
16
3
12
21
23
16
4
7
27
39
23
10
16
7
23
23
36
16
32
8
>
1
<
28
∧
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
14
17
9
19
19
16
14
22
16
16
23
16
16
4
38
4
14
6
© PUZZLER MEDIA
19
1
5
8
9
10
11
12
14
1
18
the times | Monday March 12 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
The FIDE World Chess Candidates Tournament to decide the
qualifier to play Magnus Carlsen
for the world championship later
this year is under way in Berlin.
Results and games can be followed
in real time via the 2seeitlive link
on the header of The Times Twitter
feed @times_chess.
As a reminder, the full list of
aspirants (and ratings) is Shakhriyar Mamedyarov (2814), Vladimir Kramnik (2800), Wesley So
(2799), Lev Aronian (2797), Fabiano Caruana (2784), Ding Liren
(2769), Alexander Grischuk (2767)
and Sergei Karjakin (2763). The
favourite is Shakhriyar Mamedyarov, an example of whose play
appears today.
White: Alexander Grischuk
Black: Shakhriyar Mamedyarov
European Team Championship,
Hersonissos 2017
Ruy Lopez
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bb5 a6 4 Ba4
d6 5 0-0 Bd7 6 Re1 g5 7 Bxc6
Remarkably, the adventurous 6
... g5 has also been tried by the
very solid grandmaster Lajos
Portisch. Korchnoi-Portisch, Wijk
aan Zee 1968 continued 7 d4 g4 8
Bxc6 Bxc6 9 Nfd2 Qh4 10 Nc4,
when White was a little better.
7 ... bxc6 8 d4 g4 9 Nfd2 exd4 10
Nb3 Ne7
Sensibly continuing to develop.
10 ... c5 is overambitious as after 11
c3 dxc3 12 Nxc3 White has huge
compensation for a pawn.
11 Nxd4 Bg7 12 Nc3 0-0
Chances are equal. The white
position is not sufficiently ener-
gised, for now at least, to exploit
the black kingside weaknesses.
Meanwhile Black has the bishop
pair and is comfortably developed.
13 Bg5 f6 14 Be3 Qe8 15 Qd3 Qf7
16 Qd2 Qg6 17 Bf4 h5 18 b4
This odd queenside demonstration achieves very little. Grischuk
is playing as though he has the
advantage but more circumspect
would be to regroup with Rad1 and
Nde2 and await developments.
18 ... h4 19 a4 Qh5 20 Be3 h3
________
árD D 4kD]
àD 0bh g ]
ßpDp0 0 D]
ÞD D D Dq]
ÝP) HPDpD]
ÜD H G Dp]
Û DP! )P)]
Ú$ D $ I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
In contrast to White’s blow in
the air on the queenside, Black’s
kingside advance has yielded clear
dividends by forcing a weakness
in White’s pawn formation.
21 Nce2 hxg2 22 Nf4 Qh7 23
Nfe6 Bxe6 24 Nxe6 Ng6
This does not really count as a
sacrifice as, when the black knight
arrives at f3, White will have to
return his booty.
25 Nxf8 Rxf8 26 Bf4
The bishop is a target here. 26
Ra3 is better.
26 ... f5 27 exf5 Nh4 28 Ra3 Qxf5
29 Bg5 Nf3+ 30 Rxf3 gxf3
Black’s mighty passed pawn on
g2 guarantees the win.
31 Bh6 Qd5 32 Qc1 Bc3 33 Re3
Bd4 34 Rd3 Re8 35 c3 Bxf2+ 36
Kxf2 Re2+ White resigns
________
ábD 4kD 4] Winning Move
à0 DRDpD ]
ß 0nDp0 D] White to play. This position is from
Moscow 2018.
ÞD D D Dq] Esipenko-Salomon,
White now exploited his pressure along the
Ý D DPD D] d-file and the a3-f8 diagonal to score a
Ü!N) D ) ] quick finish with a beautiful tactic. Can you
ÛPD D )BD] spot the key move?
ÚD DRD I ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
EASY
46 + 6 x 2 – 9
MEDIUM
17
HARDER
156 x 6 + 986
Teams
♠ 10 5
♥J
♦A J 10 7 4
♣Q J 8 7 2
♠Q J 9 4 2
N
♥A K 10 7 4 W E
S
♦K
♣5 3
♠A K 8 6
♥Q 8 3
♦8 6 5
♣A K 4
S
W
+ 67 ÷ 4 + 77
+ 1/2
OF IT
+ 1/2
OF IT
+ 72 x 2 + 66
x 2 – 448
50%
OF IT
Killer Gentle No 5905
14
5
5
12
16
3
21
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
75%
OF IT
+ 782 x 2 – 593
5min
8
2
3 2
2
4
4
3
2
8
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
3 3
7
3
6
17
15
12
17
15
4
11
10
4
7
3
21
8
8
22
13
17
12
12
7
14
15
12
6
11
7
10
15
7
9
13
18
21
+
10
R E S I D
P
R
E
SOON E
U
R
S
L O T U S
S
T
EMO T
C
A
R
L ONGA
L
N
A
R E I NC
E
K
H
T H EME
E
22
RO
F
F
C
I O
L
S
GO
U
T
A RN A
T
T E
D
A P
E
A T
R
T O
L
E S
T
H A
T
T I
O
NN
5
12
+
-
=
50
12
3
9
6
8
1
7
4
2
5
5
8
7
3
4
2
9
6
1
1
2
4
9
6
5
3
8
7
2
7
3
6
9
1
5
4
8
6
5
8
4
2
3
7
1
9
9
4
1
5
7
8
2
3
6
7
3
2
1
8
9
6
5
4
8
6
9
2
5
4
1
7
3
4
1
5
7
3
6
8
9
2
=
4
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
E S
P
E R
I
U T
E
S
O
R P
E
ON
E
E R
S
T
R
I
P
MO
V
H E
R
N S
E
D E
S
P AN
L
A
I N V
T
E
F L
3
x
5
+
7
3
6
2
5
1
8
9
4
8
5
4
9
6
3
2
7
1
2
9
1
8
7
4
3
5
6
6
7
9
4
3
2
1
8
5
3
1
2
6
8
5
9
4
7
4
8
5
1
9
7
6
2
3
9
4
8
5
1
6
7
3
2
Kakuro 2084
S A I C
S U
R
A Q
S E
J OUR
N O A
T A L L
L I
E
I
L A Y
E D I
M S
DA
CON T
Z
H O
O I C E
T O
N M C
OG
E X HO
x
+
9
x
x
x
1
+
8
-
2
-
4
5
6
7
3
2
9
4
1
8
1
2
3
7
4
8
5
6
9
MP
I
E
NA L
I
B
MBO
W
C T
H
S
E X T
C
U
K E N
E
G
R T
5 1 2
8 2 4
3 1
6
6 7
8 9
7 5
9 7 2
8 9 3
6 4 1
3
1 9
6
8
9 5
7
2 1
1 3
5
1 8 3
8 4 9 6
4 5 2 3 1
7 9
6 2
8
9 7
9 2 5 4
1 3
4
1 3
3 1 4 2 9
3 2 1 8
Train Tracks 352
1
Quintagram
1 Bat
2 Liner
3 Modify
4 Jamboree
5 Greenhouse
4
1
7
2
6
3
3
2
5
A
6
3
3
4
+
6
÷
3
7
1
B
G
10
4
4
=
36
Set Square 2087
Brain Trainer
18
-
Codeword 3280
S H
O
R L
D
L A
L
N L
3
23
x
Solutions
Suko 2182
17
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
= 41 We’ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
sum should be
= 1 calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
+
Lexica 4169
23
= 51 the numbers
+
x
Killer 5904
11min
Enter each of
+
x
Sudoku 9720
5
x
Quick Cryptic 1044
9
8
23
Contract: 3NT, Opening Lead: ♥ A
Actually, you can make 3NT
even if you duck the king of diamonds (as declarer did against
Malinowski) but it’s counter-intuitive. West has to switch to the
queen of spades. You win, cash two
rounds of clubs leaving a (blocking) high club entry to hand
(removing West’s safe club exits)
then lead (to) the ten of spades.
West has to win (or the ten of
spades is your ninth trick with the
communications to enjoy them all)
but is endplayed. A third spade
runs to you ace-eight, while a heart
promotes your queen. Game made.
Well done to Allerton-Jagger
(first) and Malinowski-Bakhshi
(second) who will represent
England along with the preselected pair (Forrester-Robson).
OF IT
–7
Yesterday’s answers
elfish, fell, felt, fess, fetish, fight, file,
filet, fill, fillet, fils, filth, fish, fist, flesh,
flight, flightless, flit, gift, heft, itself,
left, leftish, lief, life, lift, seif, self, selfish,
selfist, shelf, shift, sift, stifle, thief
22
1♠
Pass(1) Pass
1NT(2) 2♥
3♦
Pass
3NT
End
(1) At other vulnerabilities, North would bid
the Unusual 2NT, showing 5-5 in the two
lowest unbid suits.
(2) 11-16 in the protective seat.
5/
6
From these letters, make words of
three or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 15 words, average;
20, good; 23, very good; 27, excellent
8
E
x3
Set Square No 2088
Killer Tricky No 5906
♠7 3
♥9 6 5 2
♦Q 9 3 2
♣10 9 6
N
50%
OF IT
© PUZZLER MEDIA
3
Dealer: West, Vulnerability: North-South
OF IT
+6
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
In our last look at the English Open
Trials for the European Bridge
Team Championships, you are at
the helm of a tricky 3NT. At other
tables, West led a fourth highest
heart and declarer had an easy ride
via dummy’s singleton jack of
hearts, five clubs, the ace-king of
spades and the ace of diamonds.
Your West (Artur Malinowski)
sagely led the ace of hearts and
(even more sagely on receiving a
discouraging low heart signal)
switched to the king of diamonds.
Can you generate a ninth trick?
You know West has five hearts
— if East held five hearts, he
would surely have supported his
partner over North’s 3♦. With
West holding ten major-suit cards,
it is very likely the king of diamonds is singleton (if West held
king-queen doubleton, he would
be unlikely to switch to the suit,
helping you to set it up).
So do not duck the king, or
West will have the upper hand in
the endgame. Win the ace of diamonds and run five rounds of
clubs. Down to which six cards will
West reduce?
If West keeps four spades and
king-ten of hearts, you will play
ace-king and a third spade. West
can cash two spades but will have
to lead from his king-ten of hearts
round to your queen-eight.
It is no better for West to keep
all his spades and bare his king of
hearts, for you cross to the ace of
spades and lead a low heart. West
wins the king and leads the queen
of spades but you win the king and
cash the promoted queen of
hearts. Game made.
SQUARE
IT
2/
5
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Candidates preview
Cell Blocks No 3164
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
A
R
I
E
E
V
W
I
M
T
N
R
E
B
A
R
M
N
E
I
P
C
A
P
O
L
W
I
D
E
A
Cell Blocks 3163
Lexica 4170
D
O
C
S
T
D
Futoshiki 3125
E
H
O
E
R
L
3
2
2
2
3
5
6
2 2
4
3
2
6 7
Tredoku 1516
4 > 3
∨
1 < 3
2
5
1
2
4
5
1
3
3
2
4 > 2
5
∨
∨
5
1 < 4
2
4
3
5
1
KenKen 4272
Easy 48
Medium 531
Harder 6,289
12
Word watch
9
21
21
3
7
13
13
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
Jackpotting (b) Hacking
an ATM to take out all of
their cash
Jackling (a) The winning
of the ball in rugby
Jackleg (c) Dishonest or
unscrupulous
Chess
1 Qe7+! Nxe7 2 Rxd8
is mate
Quiz
1 Friends 2 Ark of the Covenant 3 David Lean — in Great
Expectations (1946), Lawrence of Arabia and Doctor
Zhivago 4 Horatio Hornblower — in Hornblower 5 South
Sudan. The pound is the official currency 6 The Frogs
7 Saline conditions (eg a salt marsh), high salinity or salty
soil 8 Mr Big 9 Seamus Heaney 10 Baroness Amos or
Valerie Amos 11 Florence Cathedral or Santa Maria del
Fiore Cathedral or Il Duomo di Firenze 12 Hoovervilles
— named after Herbert Hoover 13 Jaundice — which
arises from excess of the pigment bilirubin 14 Horse
racing. It comes from a length of wire that stretched
across the finish line at a racetrack 15 Irving Berlin
12.03.18
MindGames
Easy No 9721
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
Jackpotting
a Wearing bright colours
b Taking money from
an ATM
c Shooting rabbits
Jackling
a A move in rugby
b A move in dance
c A move in golf
Jackleg
a To queue jump
b An unpaid worker
c Dishonest
Difficult No 9722
5 8
2
5 1
7
2
5
2 6
1 2 5 8
6 3
8
5
7 3
5
2 4 6 8
7 6
8 4
3
8 5
2
1
3
5
2
4 3 2
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
1
2 6 3
Fiendish No 9723
9
7
4 5 9
6
1 7 5
7
8
6
3
5
9
3
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2182
GETTY IMAGES
1 Created in 1994, the
Rachel haircut is named
after a character in
which US sitcom?
black woman to sit in
the cabinet?
11 Which Italian
cathedral features the
largest masonry dome
in the world?
2 Kept in the Holy of
Holies, which goldcovered wooden chest
contained the Ten
Commandments?
3 Alec Guinness played
Herbert Pocket, Prince
Feisal and General
Yevgraf Zhivago in films
by which English director?
4 Created by CS Forester,
which Royal Navy officer
was played by Ioan
Gruffudd in an ITV drama?
5 Banknotes from which
country, formed in 2011,
feature the rebel leader
John Garang (1945-2005)?
12 Which Great
Depression-era shanty
towns were named after
the 31st US president?
15
6 In which
Aristophanes comedy
does Euripides lose a
contest to his fellow
tragedian, Aeschylus?
7 A halophyte is a plant
adapted to growing in
what conditions?
8 In 1992, which US
band had a top-three hit
with the acoustic ballad
To Be With You?
13 A biliblanket is a
phototherapy device for
treating which medical
condition in babies?
9 Which Irishman’s 1966
poem Mid-Term Break
ends: “A four-foot box, a
foot for every year”?
14 The phrase “down to
the wire” comes from
which sport?
10 In 2003, which
baroness (as international
development secretary)
became the first
15 Which Russian-born
American composer and
lyricist is pictured?
Answers on page 15
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1045 by Hurley
1
2
3
4
5
8
7
18
19
9
10
12
6
11
13
14
15
16
17
20
23
21
22
24
Across
1 Beautiful woman in New York
taking speed? (5)
4 Jack in Police Department is
commended (7)
8 Inferior old strongholds, small
inside (2,5)
9 In Perth an esteemed title,
once (5)
10 After victory English trader,
we hear, goes here for drinks?
(4,6)
14 Shot girl receives known the
world over (6)
15 Chesspiece that is used by new
recruit (6)
17 Oonagh went for reform,
avoiding alcohol (2,3,5)
20 Some trial, a month in siege
site (5)
22 Purr — it’s over rider’s
equipment (7)
23 Sea duty arranged — twentyfour hours (7)
24 Building we found in shelter of
hill (5)
Down
1 Noble opposed old king
initially in secluded place (4)
2 Nearly all Medical Officer’s
time (4)
3 Where recluse lives — male in
tradition passed down (9)
4 Fish pies seen around South
Carolina (6)
5 Suitable physical training after
first of August (3)
6 Saw ankle moving in ballet
(4,4)
7 More dismal, stop working
clutching back? Right (8)
11 Environmental refusal
supported by film magazine (9)
12 Not knowing inn argot,
confused (8)
13 More about origins of that
good and generous loan (8)
16 Spoils hay at edges, likely to
get wet (6)
18 Pressure over spat in part of
boat (4)
19 Fight playfully with Pole (4)
21 Strange, like one or three (3)
Friday’s solution on page 15
9 8
7
1 5
2 5 7
4
8
6 3 9
1 5 6
8
5
6 9 4
3 7
2
7 8
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