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The Times Times 2 - 16 January 2018

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On Tuesday
January 16 | 2018
The fashion mask
has slipped
Mario Testino and the
world of male models
2
1GT
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
times2
Good luck in
Is micro-cheating behind
your partner’s back OK?
No, it’s bang out of order
Robert Crampton
A
n academic has come
up with a sexy new
phrase to describe
married couples
indulging in naughty
behaviour with
people other than
their spouse.
Behaviour that falls short of good
old-fashioned adultery, yet goes beyond
a standard platonic interaction between
friends and the commonly accepted
boundaries of harmless flirtation.
According to Dr Martin Graff, a
psychologist at the University of South
Wales, “micro-cheating”, particularly
on social media, is the new threat to
long-term monogamous stability.
Examples include a partner
following an old flame on Instagram,
checking out a former lover’s news on
Facebook or Twitter, or repeatedly
liking an object of affection online.
None of which actions I fully
understand, yet I’m confident I’ve got
the general picture. And as for
entering someone in your contacts
directory under a false name, I’m
crystal clear that that is downright
suspicious in any era or medium, early
20th or early 21st century, smartphone
or crumpled old address book.
What to make of Graff’s theory?
Well, micro-cheating is a cute coinage,
but I’m not convinced it holds much
descriptive power. By which I mean
the behaviour mentioned that does
count as cheating is by no means
micro, and the behaviour mentioned
that is micro isn’t really cheating. You
can’t cheat in an insignificant fashion,
in other words.
The best way to explain this is to
analyse the photograph — posed by
models, I assume, otherwise some
poor woman is in big trouble — that
accompanied the report on Graff’s
research. The picture shows a woman
whispering intimately to a man,
presumably her husband, while
simultaneously holding hands with
another man behind his back. Is this
micro? Is it cheating? Is it both?
It’s bang out of order is what it is!
There’s nothing micro — as in minor
— about it. Holding hands, while
superficially chaste, is a curiously
intimate form of physical contact.
Besides, her bloke is oblivious. What’s
more, she’s doing it in public, the
shameless hussy! That’s cheating in
anyone’s book. If I witnessed this little
tableau, I’d assume the hand-holders
were at it like rabbits.
If I discovered my wife doing
anything similar, I’d be mortified. As
would she if I were the one getting
sneakily handsy with a third party.
Would it wreck our marriage, though,
as Graff suggests. Not as a one-off, no.
But strong words would be exchanged.
Displeasure would be indicated. If it
carried on, if either one of us
developed such a practice as a weird
compulsion, then yeah, that would
constitute a serious problem.
Not because the crafty holding
hands with someone else behind your
back routine is a micro-cheat, nor
because it’s a particularly big cheat,
but simply because it’s a cheat, full
stop. It’s a strong word, cheating, not
to be invoked lightly, hard to define
precisely — but rather like rudeness or
charm or beauty, we pretty much all
recognise it when we see it.
Hey ho. There’s no denying we live
in complicated times as regards
appropriate gender interactions.
Things can get tricky. But not that
tricky, I would suggest. Most of us
know where the line is.
GETTY IMAGES
We’re all
pimping
our rides
Black has overtaken
white as the top choice
of car colour for new
vehicle buyers in the
UK. The reason offered,
I read, is that these days
many motorists don’t
have time to wash their
cars. The cliché of
legions of suburbanites
lovingly soaping their
wheels in the drive on a
Sunday morning is a
thing of the past.
Meanwhile, sales
of personalised
numberplates are also
rocketing. I’ve never
shared the desire to
spell out a version of
my name by pretending
the number 8 is a B,
the number 3 is an E
and so on, but never
mind, it takes all sorts,
Get off
the wagon,
Marco
Marco Pierre White,
the 56-year-old boorish
TV chef, says that
despite giving up
drinking and smoking
he doesn’t feel much
better. “I don’t know if
there’s any point,”
complains MPW, who
was a big deal in the
1990s, but latterly I’d
assumed — hoped —
had gone quiet. Except
he hasn’t.
Ah well, as a former
heavy drinker and
smoker who has
recently cut down on
(without, admittedly,
fully abstaining from)
both substances,
perhaps I can offer
some advice. In short
order, I’ve lost weight,
succumb to a hacking
cough far less
frequently and have
begun to negotiate
stairs more efficiently
(in terms of lung
capacity and correct
foot placement at day’s
end). Best of all, to
everyone’s relief, I’ve
entirely stopped
sending nuisance texts
late at night.
Maybe Marco,
contrary to his
carefully curated
bad-boy image, simply
wasn’t previously
knocking back enough
booze’n’fags. I think he
should resume both
habits, this time for
real, then quit again
and make another
assessment as to
the benefits.
and so-called autovanity is on the rise.
Sinister black motor?
Look-at-me reg? It
seems gangster chic is
making a comeback.
Stand by for the next
must-have autoaccessories — a burner
phone in the glovebox
and a body in the boot.
As record numbers
quit London for
the countryside,
David Aaronovitch
explains why he’ll
be staying put
I
t’s about to get crowded in
Borsetshire. The story is that
right now record numbers of
Londoners are seeking to cash
in their properties in the smoke
and find something far bigger
“just six miles from the Waitrose
in Chipping Sodbury”, as one
typical ad offered at the weekend.
Actually how many of the deserters
are Londoners is another question.
London churns.
I liked the story of the woman who
moved from a flat in Tufnell Park in
north London to a 30-acre country
house in Berkshire. I had a friend who
did something like that once and spent
entire weekends on a motor mower.
Or as my old colleague Tanya Gold’s
husband said to her (and as she
repeated to us): “Don’t you want
a five-bedroom 18th-century cottage
with a garden for less than £400,000?”
Tanya had famously been living above
a betting shop in what estate agents
might call “Belsize Park borders”.
Go and be happy. India Knight
wrote at the weekend that because she
now dwells in remotest Suffolk “my
soul feels free”. Who can argue with
freed souls? If more than anything else
when you wake up what you want —
what you need — is the open sky
of Suffolk, or the sound of the sea
pounding the coast of Cornwall,
then you must have it. The
environmentalist George Monbiot,
who wishes to repopulate the
overfarmed English countryside with
wolves and mammoths, might quarrel
with India’s assertion that “the
rhythms of life are so much more
natural here than they were in
London”, but I know what she means.
Owls. Stars. Dung. Landscapes.
But if you’re going or have just gone,
please don’t tell me how much better
life will be for you and your children in
your new bucolic fantasy world than it
was in the Great Wen. Don’t insult
Londoners by assuring us that what
you leave behind is rubbish and what
you’re going to is nirvana. Write your
“feather-footed through the plashy fen
passes the questing vole” pieces and
we’ll enjoy them. Describe the small
miracle of a new deli in the market
town only 20 minutes’ drive from the
Old Vicarage and we’ll smile for you,
and then walk the five minutes to the
six delis round our own urban corner.
You’ve got the voles, we’ve got the
freshly made pasta. It’s a trade and
that’s fair enough.
I write this partly in response to
Tanya’s piece last week about moving
about as far away from her family
home as you can get and still be in the
United Kingdom. “Part of my leaving,”
she wrote, sounding a bit like a hobbit
in Fangorn, “was a search for
something more ancient.” But
mostly it was about what a foul
place London is. Terrible
architecture, terrible transport,
terrible kids in terrible schools,
drug dealers, surly bus drivers,
expensive meat, pricey libraries,
rude mothers, nowhere to walk
and polluted air. “The London
of my childhood,” she wrote,
“street markets, cheap cafés,
second-hand book and record
shops, a city of distinctive
villages smelted together —
is gone.”
As it happens I know the area
that Tanya was moving from
very well. I was born near
there, educated there and live
near there now. The road she
was living in before she
decamped is, strangely, the
home of one of north London’s
most famous street markets.
There are several cheap cafés
in that road. There are at least
three second-hand record
shops in walking distance.
Most of the myriad charity
shops sell second-hand books.
There’s a public library.
It’s hard to see how she
missed them.
You have to take public
transport before you can
even find somewhere to
walk, she complained. No.
From her old door to
Hampstead Heath was 13
minutes’ walk. Primrose Hill
was 18 minutes. London Zoo
and Regent’s Park were 25.
Within 20 she could have hooked
ed up
with the Regent’s Canal and then
Writer Tanya
Gold complained
of what a foul
place London is
walked in any direction for miles along
the towpath. There are herons there,
maybe even the occasional lost vole.
Eleven minutes to the Tube station
put her another 20 minutes away from
the British Museum, 30 from the
National Theatre. And wherever this
terrible new architecture was that she
found so offensive, it was nowhere
near where she was living.
The sepia London of her childhood
was in reality still shrinking and was
about to reach its lowest 20th-century
population level. It bottomed out in
the mid-Eighties after four decades of
dropping and has grown ever since, as
people have moved back in, brought
there by jobs, excitement and each
other. It’s true, the streets do suffer
from air pollution (rated “moderate”,
which is not quite the choking fug she
depicted), but nothing like as badly as
when she was little. The rush hour,
though, is as vile as it ever was and the
property prices are ruinous.
That’s hell, so what about heaven?
The area of Cornwall that Tanya
chose, Penwith, is certainly beautiful. I
could spend whole days there at a time,
as long as it doesn’t rain (a website
the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
3
1GT
times2
your bucolic fantasy land
CHRIS MCANDREW FOR THE
TIMES; 4 CORNER IMAGES
The lowdown
Widdecombe’s
hair tongs
Ahahaha! Hahaha! Ahahaha. Ha.
I sense you’re looking at something
amusing. Reluctantly, I feel obliged
to ask what it is.
Oh yes — Ann Widdecombe’s
escapades on Celebrity Big Brother.
Totally hilarious.
Do share the joke.
The former politician, incarcerated
T
on Channel 5’s reality show, was
o
ffilmed over the weekend attempting
tto straighten her hair. Presumably
sshe’d never used straighteners
before, however, because what was
b
broadcast was a long sequence of
b
her repeatedly failing to catch the
h
hair between the tongs and instead
h
“straightening” the air around
“s
her head.
he
I ssee nothing funny about this
whatsoever.
wh
Come on, spoilsport. The viewing
Co
public is in agreement that it was
pu
an absolute LOL. Twitter was
beside itself, watching her clamping
be
away at nothing, her face a picture
aw
deep concentration.
of d
Apart
Ap from the shocking disrespect
you’re displaying here, heated hair
you
tools are no laughing matter anyway.
too
I can’t
ca believe you’re being so
flippant about them.
flip
called something like “100 things to
do on a rainy day in Cornwall”
recommends sitting in the café at the
open-air Minack theatre). It also has
the 51st highest unemployment rate
in the country (out of 376), and one
of the lowest levels of higher
educational attainment. It has the
28th largest retired population in
England and Wales.
Schools are important. The nearest
primary to Tanya down in Newlyn was
ranked by the 2018 Real Schools
Guide as coming 12,044th out of
14,624 in England. But then it’s coping
with nearly twice the national rate of
children requiring free school meals
and having special educational needs.
As Tamas Haydu, a local campaigner,
explained: “There are two Cornwalls.
The one we all love and that enriches
our lives, and another that lies behind,
where large numbers of people live on
the edge of poverty, or in ill health, or
in isolation, with fragmented or
dysfunctional families and widespread
indebtedness and disadvantage.”
If she’d stayed behind in the awful
city, Tanya could have sent her son to
any one of several local primary
schools whose attainment was above
the national average. When she broke
her ankle recently, had she still been in
London she would have found herself
in the Royal Free Hospital, a tenminute walk at most for her husband,
instead of in a hospital in Truro, 30
miles from where they now live.
Remember, I’m not saying better or
worse. If souls and voles are what is
important to you, and the zillion
A rooftop bar in
Shoreditch and, right,
David Aaronovitch.
See Tanya Gold’s article
at thetimes.co.uk
Sign up for
The Times
Wellness
bulletin
with news and expert
advice for a healthier,
happier body and mind
thetimes.co.uk/bulletins
ir
irritations
caused by proximity to
other people are intolerable, then
you’ll put up with early closing, dead
Sundays and endless driving. What
I’m jibbing against is the have-it-all
fantasy. For example, children quite
like living in the countryside. They can
climb trees. Teenagers hate it. They
climb the wall.
Then there’s the myth of community.
As The Sunday Times put it at the
weekend, “finding a town with a
welcoming, lively community is the
holy grail for every London leaver”.
Country pubs with real fires and with
real new friends buying rounds, parish
councils, the vicar, the am dram doing
panto in the village hall, everyone
saying “hello”, volunteers visiting the
old folk, everyone knowing each
other’s business and looking out for
each other. A sense of place.
But instead you can get this: “What
used to be a thriving community is
now a place of holiday lets and second
homes . . . I noticed a sad sign in the
village which said that a muchanticipated event had been cancelled
due to a lack of volunteers.” That was
Tanya’s husband writing a few months
ago from Penwith. In London, with all
its supposed anomie, if you look for
community you’ll always find it. My
nearest library (a 22-minute walk from
Tanya’s previous home) was to be
closed, but volunteers have kept it
open. It’s free and stays open for
longer hours than the one in Newlyn
she pays £30 a year for.
Now, the London incomers could
decide — like Lynda Snell in The
Archers — to make themselves an
indispensable if initially derided part
of community life. If they don’t (and
probably even if they do) they’ll be
regarded by the natives as interlopers.
Look at the comments under any
piece about escaping to the country:
“Do yourself a favour — visit for a
holiday, admire, spend loads of money,
get jealous — then go back where you
came from and leave us rustic locals
in peace.” Or: “No. Please don’t move
here. We are sick to death of outsiders
pricing local families out of properties.
Please stay where you are and let
our communities continue to be
communities.”
This attitude may help to explain
why 94 per cent of Penwithians were
born in the UK — in Camden it’s
60 per cent.
Finally there’s the delusion of the
new life. Or, as an estate agent who
handles city-to-country sales sagely
told The Sunday Times at the weekend:
“Moving won’t end any restlessness
caused by your relationship.” I looked
it up: Penwith has the sixth-highest
rate of divorce of any district in
England and Wales and one of the
lowest percentages of married couple
households. Which is probably just as
well because it almost certainly also
has far higher rates of shotgun
ownership than London.
Not everyone gets divorced, so good
luck, leavers. I hope it works out. Good
luck also to the woman we know who,
in her fifties, is moving soon to London
from Kent because she has always
loved the theatre. Chacun à son goût.
sense I’ve touched a nerve.
I se
As it happens, I have been a recent
victim of a straightening-ironvic
related trauma. I put mine down on
rela
a rug momentarily while I reached
for the hairspray. The red fibres of
the rug promptly melted on the hot
plates and I ended up depositing
molten red nylon in my hair.
How horrible. I didn’t realise it
would be such an emotionally
triggering tale for you.
It’s not just me — hair straighteners
are a health hazard and should be
outlawed. They heat up to about
200C. Putting them anywhere near
your body is insanity.
Well, I see your point. How many of
us can honestly say that we’ve never
sustained a first-degree burn while
trying to eliminate frizz?
I suspect what Widdecombe was
really doing was brilliantly launching
a stealth campaign for a safer use
of hair tools — keeping them at a
minimum six-inch distance from
the scalp.
That must be it, because to be
honest, I’m not even sure she’d
switched them on.
Hattie Crisell
4
1GT
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
times2
#MenToo and the downfall of
As Mario Testino
is suspended by
Condé Nast, male
models speak out
about abuse.
By Mark Smith
T
hose soothing
themselves with the
adage that it’s always
darkest before the
dawn were presumably
hoping to awaken to a
more enlightened age
after last week’s
Golden Globes sartorial blackout —
the group fashion statement that
sought to draw a line under the abuses
of women in Weinstein-era Hollywood
and draw attention to the work of
activists working for change across the
board. Time, we were told, was up.
Alas, our pop culture seems to get
murkier with each passing week, and
on Saturday the baton was passed to
the sphere of male modelling.
Accusations of sexual misconduct
dominated the front page of The New
York Times’s weekend edition, centred
on the alleged behaviour of two of the
most storied image-makers of modern
times: the all-American Bruce Weber
and the Peruvian-born society
lensman Mario Testino.
It’s hard to overstate the influence
that these two photographers have
exerted over the cultural landscape of
the past decades. Originally a model,
Weber graduated from the front cover
of GQ magazine to cover billboards
and catalogues across the world with
his homoerotic black-and-white
images of gym-honed beefcakes.
Testino’s flattering portraiture,
meanwhile, documented the marriage
of convenience between the worlds of
fashion, celebrity and power. His
photographs of the Princess of Wales
became a big part of Diana’s visual
legacy, while Madonna turned to
Testino for the first portraits with her
daughter Lourdes. More recently, he
took the engagement pictures of the
Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
A supposedly less wholesome side to
their portfolios emerged, with three
models — Ryan Locke, Robyn Sinclair
and Terron Wood — disclosing their
alleged experiences at the hands of the
photographers. These experiences
allegedly included masturbation
(Testino) and unorthodox, highly
tactile breathing techniques (Weber).
Both men have vehemently denied the
allegations made in the article.
Almost immediately after the
publication of the piece, another
American model, Christopher Cates,
took to social media to detail his
early-career story of harassment in a
closed bedroom set at a Weber ranch
in Miami. In doing so, Cates coined
the hashtag #MenToo. And so began
the next phase of what Twitter is
calling “the reckoning” — the felling
of all the media men said to be
systematically abusing their power.
The allegations proved a bridge too
far for the Vogue publisher Condé
Nast, of which Anna Wintour is the
artistic director. On Saturday the titan
of gloss added Weber and Testino to
its list of photographers non gratae.
They will languish there, presumably,
until further notice, alongside Terry
Richardson, whose more overtly seedy
image-making has also been dogged
by suspicion and accusation.
Richardson denies the “hate-filled”
and “libellous” allegations.
Still, this was by no means the first
time we’d heard whispers about the
harassment of male models. In
November, after the American model
and activist Cameron Russell used
Instagram to encourage others to
speak out, the British model Edie
Campbell voiced her concerns that
men were being overlooked, possibly
on account of the “more complex”
forces at play — namely homophobia
and the perceived emasculation
attached to coming out as the victim
of molestation. “The global
conversation about sexual abuse has
been (possibly rightly) focused on
female victims,” she wrote in the
fashion trade publication Women’s
Wear Daily. “But when you zoom in on
the fashion industry, I would assume
that the numbers are much more
evenly split between male and female
victims. Within fashion, the discussion
then becomes less about toxic
masculinity and patriarchy, and more
about abuse of power.”
It’s rare to see one male model, let
alone three, afforded the courtesy of a
namecheck on the front page of a
newspaper. Male models live in
relative obscurity, with nothing close to
the fame of their female counterparts.
If the recent womenswear show in
which Donatella Versace reassembled
a line-up of supermodels to
commemorate the legacy of her
brother Gianni proved anything, it
was that women at the top of the
modelling game are iconic to the point
of mononymity (Claudia! Cindy!
Naomi!) whereas male models —
whose torsos formed the glistening
backdrop to the original Versace Jeans
Couture campaigns (shot, incidentally,
by Weber) are anonymous. It’s also
instructive to review Weber’s 1990s
images for the preppy brand
Emma Watson in a
Testino shoot for
Burberry spring/
summer 2010. Below:
models at a Testino
book launch in 2007
It’s rare to
see a male
model get
his name
on the
front page
Abercrombie & Fitch. Typically, these
lavish assemblages depicted a “star” —
a Kate Moss, say, or a Heidi Klum —
surrounded by men. They gave the
impression of a queen bee surrounded
by drones, a status imbalance no doubt
reflected in the relative pay cheques.
As the designer Tom Ford — never
shy of a soundbite — put it in The New
York Times: “Male models are paid
much less and they do not become
icons, because the culture is about
objectifying women to sell things, and
people are deeply uncomfortable with
that happening to men.”
In popular culture, we typically have
two responses to discomfort. One is to
look away and pretend that it isn’t
happening. Another is to deride the
uncomfortable scenario. It’s no
coincidence that Ben Stiller’s vacuous
Zoolander is our cultural touchstone
when it comes to male modelling.
As an editor I am happy to have
worked on fashion magazines, among
them Fantastic Man, in which male
models are depicted (and I hope
treated) with admiration rather than
slavering hypersexualisation.
Having said that, there is undeniably
a discernible power imbalance at play.
Able to command untold thousands of
dollars a day for their advertising
work, big-name photographers have a
propensity to use their editorial work
(particularly shoots carried out for the
more cultish style magazines) as a
personal fiefdom and a canvas for
their more outré ideas — ones that
might frighten risk-averse commercial
clients and cross the lines of sexual
propriety. These guys (and they are
usually guys) are granted the power to
call the shots literally and figuratively.
After I wrote in this newspaper
about Russell’s activism, an American
model called Chris Garafola got in
touch with me via Instagram to
commend the article and express his
support for Russell. Listed as one of
Harper’s Bazaar’s “25 Hottest Guys to
Follow on Instagram” and with more
than 60,000 followers, Garafola says
he has deferred committing to a model
agency because of concerns about the
ethics of his industry.
“I do have a lot of colleagues who
have been sexually harassed and
mistreated in the industry — a lot of
them at the hands of big, well-known
photographers,” he says. “We should
recognise that it still takes so much
courage to come out and try to
prevent others from having this
happen to them.”
Garafola, who lives in Boston,
Massachusetts, tells me that he
considers social media to be a
makeshift moral compass for imagemakers who might be tempted to abuse
their power and prestige. “I absolutely
think that previously ‘untouchable’
photographers and agents are quaking
in their boots right now because
models have a voice and a platform
that wasn’t afforded to them in the
past,” he says. “Social media has
become a vehicle for keeping people in
check. Powerful figures in the industry
should be asking themselves, ‘If I
wouldn’t want my social networks to
know about my actions, should I be
doing this in the first place?’ I’m
certainly not saying that there aren’t
any genuine people and agencies in
the industry — there absolutely are —
it’s just unfortunate when you have to
constantly ask yourself, ‘Are they one
of the good ones?’ ”
Jorma van Wissem, a co-founder
of the Amsterdam model agency
Republic, offers me an anecdote
involving one of his charges, who
chooses to remain nameless. Van
Wissem says that this particular male
model left a shoot with a leading
photographer last year because he felt
uncomfortable with what he was being
asked to do.
“He excused himself and called me
to discuss the situation, and we agreed
that he should leave the set. Obviously
I’m very glad that we did that now.”
Van Wissem says there were no
negative repercussions for the model
and never will be, so long as he’s in
charge. “As an agent, the most
important thing is the welfare of your
models. It’s part of your role to keep
them out of harmful scenarios.”
Still, he encourages his models to
trust their own instinct. “It’s
never going to be entirely
straightforward, though, and we
have
to acknowledge that. If you
h
work
in a bank and your boss
w
touches
your buttocks, you know
t
that
he’s crossed a line. If you’re
t
modelling
underwear and
m
someone is adjusting your pants,
tthose lines can be much
lless clear to see.”
Weber denies the
allegations against him
and says he is “shocked
and saddened by the
outrageous claims”.
Testino’s lawyers, Lavely
& Singer, say the
ssources “cannot be
considered reliable” and
con
that Testino’s former employees were
shocked by and could not confirm any
of the allegations.
Mark Smith is a senior editor at
Fantastic Man
the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
5
1GT
times2
Vogue’s favourite photographer
COVER: DAVE BENNETT/GETTY IMAGES. BELOW: MATRIX; REX FEATURES
The man I met
in the studio
By Andrew Billen
Above: Testino at the opening of his
Diana, Princess of Wales exhibition
in 2005. Left: with models on Bondi
Beach during a shoot for Vogue
In the studio, his
charm dazzled
as brightly as
his teeth
Vogue is the kingmaker — it wields the axe too
By Anna Murphy, Fashion Director
F
ashion has never been just
about appearances. It’s always
been about reputations too. It
says everything about the
power pyramid in the industry
that the alleged sexually predatory
behaviour of Mario Testino could be
so widely known that the model Ryan
Locke was reportedly advised by other
models to “tighten your belt” before
being shot by him, but that Locke
apparently felt he had to go ahead and
work with Testino anyway.
So does it matter that Condé Nast,
the publisher of prestigious titles such
as Vogue and Vanity Fair, has
announced that it won’t use Testino
and the similarly accused Bruce
Weber — both of whom deny the
allegations against them — “for the
foreseeable future”? Yes, it does.
Photographers do editorial work for
the prestige rather than the money.
The money — the big money —
comes later, courtesy of that prestige.
Vogue’s commissioning decisions
determine who is hot. Reputation
again. Then the commercial side of the
business, the luxury brands with
money to spend, use those same
people for their advertising campaigns.
A boldface name, be they behind or
in front of the camera, might be paid
only a few hundred pounds for a
Vogue shoot. Yet they might be paid a
couple of hundred thousand for a
campaign that they land as a result. So
if you are off Vogue’s books, you are off
the brands’ books too. Sure enough,
Burberry and Michael Kors have
already said that they won’t be
working with Testino. American Vogue
is yet to publish one story by the
Peruvian photographer that had
already gone to press when the
accusations emerged at the weekend.
But it’s about more than just the
money. Condé Nast may itself be
grappling with an uncertain future,
like many magazine publishing houses,
but for the moment it remains a
kingmaker. Testino became a true star
when he photographed Princess Diana
for Vanity Fair in 1997, shortly before
her death. Here were photos that
revealed the person rather than the
pomp. The princess loved them.
Testino’s career went stratospheric.
Since then the photographer has
made it his business to stay close to
the royal family, taking the official
engagement portraits of the Duke
and Duchess of Cambridge. He was
rumoured to be in the running for the
wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan
Markle. It goes without saying that
he’ll be off the list now. Courtesy of
Condé Nast, he’ll be off everyone else’s
list too.
A news photographer’s technique
may be to blend into invisibility.
A landscape photographer patiently
waits for the light. Portrait
photographers, however, are always
a presence in the room where it
happens. They bring their own
weather and their subjects respond
to it: the cockney cheek of David
Bailey; the prurience of Helmut
Newton (“I want to stay a monster,”
he told me); the challenging
arrogance of Lord Snowdon. The
climate change Mario Testino
wrought in his studio was sunshine,
and his subjects — rarely depicted in
any mood less than sunny, Princess
Diana included — basked in it.
When I visited him at work in
a studio in London 16 years ago
everyone around him, I noted, was
stressed. Once I entered his personal
orbit, however, his charm dazzled as
brightly as his teeth — not all of
them, he confirmed, his own. He
praised my tie (“iz incwedible”)
and my girlfriend’s eyes in a snap
I had brought for his appraisal
(“What did she see in you!”).
He was modest, declaring himself a
Paddington from “third world” Peru,
and, in his mother’s phrase, “a bear
— the uglier the better”. He was
obsessed with beauty, he said,
because in South America, where
he was brought up, everybody was
judged by their looks, but he knew
he was no beauty himself.
Now that Testino has joined the
crowded hotel suite of uncertainly
robed middle-aged men who have
allegedly sought to exercise an
imagined droit du seigneur over
their attendants and subjects, I am
forced to reassess this charm of his.
All charisma is a confidence trick,
of course, but his appears to have
been superior legerdemain, based
on what seemed to be candour.
“I called my first book Mario
Testino: Any Objections? because
I felt people had this idea of me as
being good, elegant. I brought out
beauty. All that,” he told me. “But
I’m not just that. I have a lot of me
that is dirty and seedy and I like
sex like anybody else. I’m a voyeur.
I don’t think I am really like
a goody-goody person.”
I asked why he had been so
reluctant to own up to his
bisexuality, whether vestiges of his
Catholic upbringing and attendant
guilt had lingered. “God no,” he
replied. “I’ll do anything. If I feel like
going to bed with whoever, I’ll go.
That’s not my problem. My problem
is that I don’t like labels.”
Mario the enthusiastic singleton,
too busy, he claimed, to settle down
with man or woman, has a new label
now — born of allegations he
strongly denies — and he will like it
least of all. For me, the terrible
suspicion is this: seedy Testino’s
candour may have been as genuine as
his charm may have been specious.
6
1GT
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
body&soul
You need to cut down on
the smoking. I’m talking
about your log-burner
Dr Mark Porter
T
he word pollution
typically conjures up
images of gridlocked
streets, diesel fumes,
heavy industry
and contaminated
waterways; things that
tend to occur outside
our homes. Or so we think. Just
because you have shut the door on
something doesn’t mean it has gone
away. Indeed, in some cases, when
crossing your threshold you may
unwittingly be jumping from the
frying pan into the fire.
Indoor pollution isn’t a new concept,
but it is one that is gaining public
awareness amid growing evidence that
the air quality in our homes isn’t what
it should be and, because we spend so
much time there, it poses a much
bigger threat than previously thought.
The latest study to highlight this — a
joint effort by Harvard University and
the French National Institute for
Health and Medical Research — links
regular use of disinfectants, such as
bleach, to chronic obstructive
pulmonary disease (COPD), or
“chronic bronchitis”/emphysema.
The findings suggest that using bleach
as little as once a week could increase
a person’s chances of developing
COPD by as much as a third.
Anyone who has had the misfortune
of breathing in a lung full of bleach
If you can smell
your fire, you’re
probably inhaling
soot particles
fumes won’t be surprised that it is not
good for your chest, but there are lots
of other chemicals we regularly use in
our homes that have a far more subtle
impact. In 2004 a study called the
Children of the Nineties by the
University of Bristol raised concerns
about volatile organic compounds
(VOCs) found in products such as
deodorants, hairsprays, furniture
polishes and clothes that have been
dry-cleaned. VOCs are absorbed into
the body via the lungs, and babies are
thought to be most at risk because,
weight for weight, they inhale 20 times
more air than an adult.
The study followed 10,000 women
and children and found those adults
regularly using aerosols that contain
VOCs, such as air fresheners, were
more likely to have depression and
develop headaches, while their babies
were more likely to suffer from
earache, diarrhoea and vomiting.
However, it is important to point out
that this is an association and does not
prove causation — might living in a
smelly house and needing to use more
air fresheners be the real risk factor?
More recently, concern has centred
on cooking fumes and log-burners.
I live in an old barn in the Cotswolds
and like nothing better at this time
of year than curling up with a good
book in front of a log fire. However,
since borrowing a pollution monitor
that revealed that the air in our snug
contains as many toxic soot particles
as Oxford Street in central London,
we have cut back on fires.
Log-burners are better in this
respect, but still produce surprising
amounts of indoor pollution. Put
simply, if you can smell that lovely
aroma, you are likely to be inhaling
soot particles. Globally, indoor fires for
heating or cooking vie with smoking
for the dubious honour of being the
biggest single cause of COPD.
I know what you are thinking — in
the grand scheme of life the risks from
indoor pollution must be tiny. But are
they? A 2016 joint report from the
Royal College of Physicians and the
Royal College of Paediatrics and Child
Health estimates that indoor pollution
causes or contributes to about 100,000
deaths every year in Europe, and the
trend for scrupulous cleanliness,
log-burners, scented candles etc,
combined with modern airtight houses,
can only exacerbate the problem.
Here are a few simple steps that
should improve the air quality in
your home:
0 Never smoke inside.
0 Use dry seasoned wood split into
small logs and keep the fire hot (and
the door shut if using a log-burner).
Regularly sweep chimneys and don’t
burn packaging on open fires.
0 Go natural. Avoid air-freshener
sprays and scented candles, and use
natural smells such as fresh flowers
and dried lavender. Use roll-on
deodorants and solid polishes.
0 Consider hard flooring such as
tiles or floorboards. Carpets, like all
soft furnishings, absorb pollutants.
0 Always use an extractor fan
when cooking.
0 Air rooms daily.
0 Spend more time outside, but
not on Oxford Street.
For more details on the disinfectant/
bleach and COPD research visit
bit.ly/2B2OWsi
Want to live
longer and lose
weight? Then
Q A eat more fibre
I am not eligible
for a flu jab on
the NHS, but the
reports of the
recent epidemic
have prompted
me to have it
done privately.
I have been
offered a choice
of two different
vaccines. Which
should I go for?
The standard flu
vaccine given to most
adults in the UK is a
trivalent (three-strain)
injection, but there is a
quadrivalent (fourstrain) version too and,
given the choice, I
would go for the fourstrain option (Fluarix
Tetra) since it is likely
to offer better
protection. However,
supplies are limited and
most people won’t have
the choice.
Flu vaccines
performed poorly last
year, and they are
unlikely to fare much
better this season.
While the live
quadrivalent nasal
spray (which is offered
only to children)
seems to work quite
well, the standard
trivalent jab is not very
effective against the
main A strain (Aussie
flu) and offers no
protection against the
emerging B strain.
The quadrivalent
version does include
the extra B strain, but
also struggles against
Aussie flu. The older
you are, the less
effective either vaccine
is likely to be.
Public health bodies
across the world, and
vaccine manufacturers,
are very aware of the
issue and are working
on better vaccines for
next season. In the
meantime, any vaccine
is better than nothing.
If you have a health
problem, email
drmarkporter@
thetimes.co.uk
Scientists have known for years that
fibre is good for us. Now they’ve worked
out why it’s so important, says Peta Bee
I
t’s mid-January and, while you
may have overloaded on dietary
intention this month, there is
one nutritional goal to make
your own in 2018. If you want to
lose weight and live longer while
reducing your risk of developing
heart disease and arthritis,
diabetes and strokes, then it’s not
enough to shift sugar from your diet.
You need to eat more fibre.
Experts have long known fibre is
good for us, that roughage in plants
is inextricably linked to better health,
but until now they didn’t fully
understand why. And dieters have
dabbled with fibre manipulation over
the years, many believing it aided fat
loss. In the 1980s the F-Plan diet,
based on consuming vast amounts of
fibre, achieved 5:2-like domination
among those looking to lose pounds
quickly and permanently. I remember
my mother and her friends fearing
low-fibre foods in the way we now fear
carbs. It was short-lived and fibre
fizzled off the radar, our heads turned
by a succession of more fashionable
dietary approaches. Now it’s back and
with an added scientific dimension
thanks to a slew of new studies
unravelling the reasons why fibre
has such a powerful effect on our
waistlines and wellbeing.
Two of the latest, published last
month in the journal Cell Host &
Microbe, shed light on how fibre,
the substance from plants that’s
indigestible to the body, is able to feed
the microbiota, the vast ecosystem of
bacteria, fungi and yeasts that inhabit
our digestive systems. Our guts are
coated with a protective mucus layer
which sits on top of bacteria, part of
the microbiome, that is replete with
enzymes that can break down fibre in
food. When diets contain very little
fibre, the population of this beneficial
gut bacteria has been shown to shrink.
Andrew Gewirtz, a professor at the
centre for inflammation, immunity
and infection at Georgia State
University, found that the bacterial
population in the guts of mice that
were fed a low-fibre diet plummeted
tenfold. As large amounts of bacteria
were killed off, the animals developed
inflammation of the intestines and
unhealthy imbalances of gut bacteria
that could leave them more vulnerable
to illness and disease.
It’s this role in cultivating our gut
gardens that scientists now think is
key to how fibre boosts wellbeing and
how eating enough of it ensures that
our digestion, intestines and immune
systems are primed for efficiency.
Today we consume less fibre than
ever — women in the UK amass a
daily average of 17.2g and men 20.1g,
far less than the recommended daily
amount of 30g. “Fibre was a big thing
in the 1980s, but the theory was based
on very low-level research back then,”
says Tim Spector, professor of genetic
epidemiology at King’s College
London and the lead researcher of the
British Gut Project, an investigation
into the effects of different foods on
our microbial and overall health.
“Public interest in it really dropped off
from the 1990s onwards and it became
something of a forgotten nutrient.”
Our intake has dwindled because of
food and lifestyle choices. We eat out
more at restaurants where fibre is not
a priority on the menu. We pulverise
fruit into smoothies and juices, which
provide fibre to our bodies in a
different, less effective, format from
that in a whole fruit. “In the past
decade, the trend for gluten and wheat
avoidance has had a big impact on
fibre intake,” Spector says. “Many
gluten-containing foods are rich in
fibre, so by cutting out something like
bread we are losing a major source of
it in our diets.”
It’s only now that the consequences
are becoming apparent. There’s
evidence that fibre’s ability to reduce
inflammation results in people who
consume enough of it having less
severe food allergies; a paper last year
showed that fibre-eaters are at less
risk of knee arthritis as they get older.
But it is fibre’s reputation as a diet
aid that is most enthralling to many.
Fredrik Bäckhed, a biologist at the
University of Gothenburg in Sweden
and the author of another new paper,
studied the effects in mice that had
their diets switched from high in fibre
to typically western-style low-fibre
fare, “with a lot of fat, a lot of sugar,
and 20 per cent protein”.
After just three to seven days of
eating the low-fibre foods, the mice
developed unwanted gut issues. The
protective mucus layer in their colon
became thin and penetrable so that
bacteria encroached on the intestinal
wall, triggering an immune reaction.
After several weeks of eating low-fibre
foods, their blood-sugar levels spiked
and they began to lay down more
body fat. It’s feasible, says Bäckhed,
that the effects are “translatable to
the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
7
1GT
body&soul
GETTY IMAGES
humans” and that eating a fibre-rich
diet could offset the risks of obesity
and its related health problems.
Fibre’s fat-fighting abilities have
already been tested by others,
including Spector, who has shown how
microbes in the human gut influence
the body’s ability to extract and store
calories. It’s now thought that chronic
gut inflammation caused by a lowfibre diet interferes with the way we
digest and use calories from our food,
causing our bodies to store more
excess calories as fat.
In a paper published last year in the
International Journal of Obesity,
Spector found that long-term weight
problems are only in part determined
by an individual’s genetic make-up and
that “low gut microbiome diversity is
associated with a higher weight gain
over time”. And, in a review of papers
in the American Journal of Clinical
Nutrition last month, a team from the
University of Illinois reported that
obese people given fibre supplements
lost an average of 5lb in weight.
Every gram of
fibre you eat
can translate to
health gains
“Fibre can help to control weight in a
number of ways, including by regulating
appetite and satiety depending on levels
of certain bacteria in the gut,” says
Glenn Gibson, a professor of food
microbiology at the University of
Reading. “Fibres target the large
intestine where most bacteria in the gut
reside. So instead of calorific exchange
you get bacterial breakdown when
fibres are consumed. That means fewer
calories stored as fat. And the bulking
effects of fibre in the colon also regulate
appetite by making you feel full.”
It’s tantalising to think that we could
ward off creeping weight gain by
increasing our intake. But how? A
fibre supplement may provide some
benefits, but it’s no panacea. Diversity
is key, as Spector found in his British
Gut Project studies. “More important
than meat or vegetable content is the
variety of different fruit and vegetables
you eat,” he says. “Vary the bread you
eat and the grains, vegetables and
cereals. Having a high-fibre salad for
lunch is fine, but don’t have the same
salad every single day.”
What of those — the elderly and
some people with irritable bowel
syndrome (IBS) — who struggle with
high-fibre diets? Dr Megan Rossi, a
research associate at King’s College
London investigating nutritional
therapies in gastrointestinal health,
says, even for them, a “low-fibre diet is
definitely not an option”.
Certain types of fibre, usually those
containing highly fermentable fibres,
may trigger IBS symptoms in some
people, so it’s a case of working out
which foods you can tolerate and
trying foods that are low FODMAP
(fermentable oligosaccharides,
disaccharides, monosaccharides and
polyols) with the help of a dietician.
Eating smaller, more frequent fibrerich meals can help to ease the strain
on the colon.
“Not everyone with IBS reacts to
fibre in the same way,” Rossi says. “If
large doses of fermentable fibres are
consumed, the bacteria in the colon
produce gases to break them down,
which can cause IBS symptoms.
Cherries are high in these fermentable
fibres, strawberries aren’t. There are
ways to raise your fibre without
triggering discomfort.”
And the overriding message is that
we should all be eating more of it. Be
warned — we are on a slippery slope if
we don’t. “In recent years, Britons have
got most of their fibre from white
bread and cereals just because we eat
so much of it and not because they are
anything like the best source,” Spector
says. “With 20 per cent of people
estimated to be giving up bread, it’s
vital that we increase our intake of
fruit, vegetables and other sources.”
Add linseeds or chia seeds to your
breakfast cereal, swap white bread for
wholemeal, eat porridge and use up
everything in your vegetable drawer,
Spector says. And don’t waste money
on fibre supplements.
“Almost every study shows that fibre
replaced artificially with something
like inulin or another manufactured
source is not as effective as
vegetables,” he says. “Every gram of
fibre you eat can translate to weight
loss and health gains. The smallest
improvements in intake do seem to
matter. Just eat more of it.”
How to increase your fibre intake
Here are some of the best foods to eat to reach your recommended intake of 30g fibre a day (values of fibre per 100g of each food)
15.2g
g
of fibre
Pasta/rice
Vegetables
Nuts/seeds
Beans/pulses
Fruit
Breads
Grains
Artichoke
Chia seeds
Broad beans
Raspberries
Dark rye crispbread
Bulgar wheat (cooked)
Wholemeal
spaghetti (cooked)
6.8g
6.5g
15.2g
4g
4.5g
Cannellini beans
Avocados
High-bran bread
Pearl barley (cooked)
Black rice (cooked)
5.7g
5.9g
7.7g
3.8g
2.8g
Kidney beans
Bananas
Multigrain bread
Oats (cooked)
Brown rice (cooked)
5.5g
4.2g
6.5g
3.6g
2.2g
Chickpeas
Apples
Seeded wholemeal
Quinoa (cooked)
Wild rice (cooked)
4.6g
1.8g
6.2g
2.2g
1.7g
Baked beans
Mango
Wholemeal
Couscous (cooked)
White spaghetti (cooked)
3.7g
1.6g
5.8g
1.4g
1.5g
Marrowfat peas
Dried figs
Rye bread
Freekeh (cooked)
Basmati rice (cooked)
3.7g
1.5g
4.4g
1.3g
0.1g
5g
38g
Green peas
Linseeds
4.2g
Kale
3.1g
Carrots
Add
linseeds or
chia seeds to
your breakfast
cereal
27.3g
Hazelnuts
6.5g
Peanuts
2.7g
6.3g
Broccoli
Almonds
2.3g
5.6g
Cabbage
Coconut
1.9g
5.1g
38g
of fibre
White
bread contains
just 1.5g
of fibre
8
1GT
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
arts
The Bond villain with
the philosopher’s mind
The famously intelligent Oscar-winning actor Christoph Waltz talks to
Kevin Maher about his role in Alexander Payne’s new comedy Downsizing
A
packed screening
room at the Venice
Film Festival in
September 2017.
We’re halfway
through the new
Alexander Payne
sci-fi comedy
Downsizing and something remarkable
happens. The film has established a
near-future where environmentally
friendly shrinking technology has
reduced chunks of the human race to
5in-high mini-folk, living in luxurious
mini-communities (the plausible logic
suggests that a tiny carbon footprint
and tiny material demands increase a
person’s net worth).
In one such community lives our
hapless Middle American hero, Paul
Safranek (Matt Damon), a newly
converted downsizer (he has endured
the irreversible, and initially painful,
shrinking operation) whose life is
spiralling into despair — his wife has
left him, his new mini-job is boring
and his mini-apartment is a joyless
prison. Right on cue, there’s a knock
on the door. Safranek reaches for the
handle, pulls the door open and there,
in front of him — beaming, enormous
cleft chin forward, half-giggling with
delight — is Christoph Waltz.
Waltz says nothing, but our screening
erupted with delight — cheers first,
followed by a spontaneous round of
applause. Just for him. For being there,
For that smile. It transpires that Waltz
is playing Safranek’s wild-man
neighbour, Dusan Mirkovic, a party
animal with deeply dubious business
connections (he will later be described
as “a Serbian racketeer”). But it was
that initial projection of unbridled
joy from the 61-year-old double
Oscar-winner (for Quentin Tarantino’s
Inglourious Basterds and Django
Unchained) that nudged an entire
room of jaded international film critics
into whooping approval.
Now, on a wintry morning in a
secluded hotel in central London,
when we discuss that moment in
Venice, Waltz is typically modest. He is
dressed in a sharp brown woollen suit
with a white open shirt and he takes
regular sips from mineral water
between thoughtful ruminations on
the best answers. “The laughter from
the audience proves to me that the
dramatists have exercised their craft,”
he says with that fantastically precise
delivery that still, nearly a decade
later, triggers memories of his
terrifying turn in Inglourious Basterds
as the “Jew Hunter” Col Hans Landa.
The accent, of course, is halfTeutonic (Waltz has joint German/
Austrian citizenship), half-mid-Atlantic
(he trained in New York and lives in
Los Angeles), and it caresses
consonants and transforms syllables
into things of beauty (for craft, he says,
“crah-fffft”). He is an 11th-hour success
story who struggled in the acting
wilderness for more than 30 years
before, in his fifties, becoming a
sensation. As Tarantino has said: “The
way Christoph does my dialogue, he
sings it, he turns it into poetry.”
Waltz continues his reflections on
the Venice Downsizing eruption: “The
fact that there was laughter suggests
that there was a release. I think that
observing the mediocrity of the
character of Paul Safranek reminds us
too much of our own mediocrity, and
so something that bursts in, and
Croatian islands cruise
Fantastic break to
Rome and Bologna
I am what
Adorno
called
profoundly
halfeducated
provides a gush of fresh wind,
promises a release from that.”
It is Waltz’s Mirkovic, in fact, who
propels the movie into its affecting
third act, where consumerist dreams
fade in the face of the simple need to
be, well, kind. Does he think the film
is a Marxist critique of modern
western values? “Sometimes I think
that there’s no way round that any
more,” he says with a sigh. What?
Being a Marxist? “Yes. Das Kapital
says it all. You can read it in a book
that was written 150 years ago, and
it’s about everything that’s going
on today.”
That’s the other thing about Waltz:
he’s scarily smart. After Das Kapital,
he moves directly on to the Austrian
philosophical writer Robert Musil
and quotes from Musil’s unfinished
modernist masterwork The Man
Without Qualities, about the ability
to communicate deep thought with
a light touch. This, he says, is what
Downsizing does. And it’s true. It
reminds me that Alexei Sayle (with
whom he co-starred in an ill-fated
Channel 4 comedy from 1990, The
Gravy Train) described Waltz as one
of the most intelligent people he’d
met and a spiritual cousin of
Wittgenstein. I mention this to
Waltz and he bats it back with
esoteric
aplomb, saying: “I’ve read
e
Wittgenstein, but I can’t say I
understood it.” He then qualifies the
qualification by dropping a casual nod
to the German philosopher Theodor
Adorno. “I am what Adorno called
‘profoundly half-educated’.”
At which point my head is hurting,
so we move on to James Bond. The
previous time we met, Waltz had just
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the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
9
1GT
UWE MARTIN/GLAMPOOL
arts
Left: Christoph Waltz.
Top: in Downsizing
with Matt Damon.
Above: in Carnage with
Kate Winslet. Far left:
in Quentin Tarantino’s
Django Unchained
Becoming
an actor is
easy. Being
one is the
nuisance
begun shooting Spectre. He played the
film’s villain, Blofeld, but was
underused, had a silly scene with some
robotic brain-torture needles and an
even sillier revelation about Blofeld’s
backstory (he was Bond’s quasistepbrother). The finished film was
very “meh”, and I sense that he knows
it. He’s too smart to lie.
“It was an incredible experience
to be part of this postwar cultural
phenomenon,” he says cautiously. “Yet
I can’t say that I was happy at every
step of the process. I feel that there are
some loose ends with my engagement.
And I’m not saying that I’m going to
be in the next one. I’m not going to be
in the next one. But let’s say, er, in
terms of my feeling that I have
sufficiently served a purpose, there are
a few white blotches on that map for
me, personally.”
I tell him that I have no idea what
that means. “I don’t want to be critical
of something that doesn’t deserve to
be criticised, so that’s why I’m being a
little cryptic,” he says. “There are just
certain things I am unhappy with. I
wish I would have gotten the
opportunity to iron those glitches out.”
And while we’re on the subject of
hot potatoes . . . Harvey Weinstein?
The disgraced producer was,
essentially, instrumental in Waltz’s
success, backing him in both
Tarantino ventures. What does he
think about his former ally now? His
answer is as clear as anything he says
all morning: “Given the situation, my
opinion on this must be as clear as can
be. Intolerable behaviour is intolerable
behaviour. Nobody in their right mind
can defend that.”
Waltz was born and raised in
Vienna, part of a heavyweight theatre
family — four generations of stage
professionals, including parents who
were costume and set designers and
grandparents who were actors. I’ve
read that he was an exhibitionist child
and that acting was inevitable for him,
but he corrects me. “No, I never said
that. I was slightly hyperactive, but just
like any seven-year-old boy. I was not
an attention-seeker. Wanting to be an
actor, instead, is something
developmental that every person goes
through at one point in their adolescence.
Most people grow out of it, age
appropriately, and the ones who don’t
become actors. Becoming an actor is
easy. Being one is the nuisance.”
The biggest nuisance for Waltz was
that enormous chunk of time between
his decision to study at Vienna’s
University of Music and Performing
Arts in the mid-1970s and his eventual
appearance on the global stage, at 53,
in Inglourious Basterds in 2009. It was
a period, he says, where he often
wished that he had “developed
normally and healthily”.
In the early 1980s he attended script
interpretation classes in New York with
the Method acting guru Stella Adler.
The 1990s were spent in Muswell Hill,
north London, where he lived with his
first wife, Jackie, a psychotherapist, and
their three children. From there he
commuted between Germany and the
UK, nabbing bit-parts in TV movies
such as the Catherine Zeta-Jones
historical drama Catherine the Great, or
starring in little-seen Germanlanguage TV shows such as the copand-his-dog drama Kommissar Rex
(aka Rex: A Cop’s Best Friend).
He moved briefly to Germany in the
mid-2000s before nabbing the fateful
Tarantino audition that changed his
life. By then he had remarried, to the
German costume designer Judith
Holste. Waltz is, unsurprisingly, as
protective of his private life as he is of
his consonants. All that I can glean
from his direct responses to
relationship queries is that, yes, his
wife, Judith, is a costume designer; yes,
they live in LA with their 12-year-old
daughter; and yes, his first marriage
ended “a while ago”).
These days Waltz is torn between
the luxury of opportunity and the lack
of time. The offers flow in, but he is
choosy and aware that, at 61, “there is
so much that won’t be at my disposal
any more, very simply put.”
He is full of “frustrated energy”, he
says. His directorial debut, Georgetown,
written by the playwright David Auburn
and starring Annette Bening, is out
this year, but he is unhappy with that.
He feels, as a director, that he has
“much room for improvement”. He
wishes that he had started directing
20 years ago, but appreciates the
success he has had. “I always ask,
‘What can I do with what has been
granted to me? How can I turn this
into progress?’ ” He sounds Californian
for the first time today. Then he smiles
suddenly, and there’s a hint of that
beam in Downsizing. “Because I don’t
take anything for granted,” he says.
“I take it as a gift.”
Downsizing is released on January 24
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10
1GT
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
television & radio
It’s a mystery why this daft series refuses to die
Carol
Midgley
TV review
Silent Witness
BBC One
{{(((
Anjelica Huston
on James Joyce
BBC Four
{{{{(
I
f we put Silent Witness on a
pathologist’s slab, what might we
find? Signs compatible with
exhaustion due to it being
stretched, rack-like, over 21 series?
Features indicative of being repeatedly
resuscitated by commissioners hooked
on playing it safe? Toxicology tests
confirming chronic levels of
expositional dialogue, daft plots and
meddling pathologists who refuse to
accept that they aren’t detectives? I
fear so. Yet it would also find stubborn
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Moving Pictures
Radio 4, 11.30am
The average length of time
spent looking at a painting
in an art gallery is,
apparently, 28 seconds.
However, Cathy FitzGerald,
the maker of some of the
oddest, loveliest radio out
there, thinks that this is
a pity. So here she takes
some artworks and talks
us through them. In the
first programme she is
examining a Regency
patchwork quilt in the V&A.
This is no ordinary quilt: it’s
an Austen novel in textiles.
Everyone in the village,
from the laird to the fish
woman, is captured in
perfect detail. FitzGerald
picks it apart here with the
help of various experts —
including Tracy Chevalier.
BBC World Hacks
World Service, 3pm
If you listen to American
podcasts then you’ll
recognise some of their
more irritating traits here,
such as presenters who talk
more like chums having a
chat. All the traits are there:
artful weaving in and out of
interviewees’ responses and
presenters’ blurb; talk of the
presenters’ feelings. It’s a bit
much. However, the topic —
the closing of British streets
to cars to allow children to
play in them — is interesting.
signs of life and a creature that has
adapted to withstand extreme ageing
and overexposure.
Silent Witness, unlike the corpses in
its fridge, refuses to die and this is
because about six million regular
viewers don’t want it to. Last night’s
episode, the first of a two-parter,
started with the discovery of a woman
stabbed to death at home while her
crazed, cuckolded husband staggered
off to kill her lover before throwing
himself off a building. A relatively
quiet day for the pathology team.
Because the victim had stab wounds to
her arms, Nikki (Emilia Fox) deduced
that she was trying to protect her
stomach, thus could be pregnant.
“The PM [post mortem] will tell us
more,” she added. You don’t say! Do
pathologists really say such blindingly
obvious things to fellow professionals?
Before long the poor woman was
naked on a slab, peeled open like a tin
of tuna, where it was found that she
was indeed pregnant. “The foetus
wouldn’t have survived long without
oxygen,” said Nikki, again not shy of
stating the obvious. It was at least
topical, weaving in the hacking of NHS
computer files, although it will no
doubt be taken to improbable lengths.
However, people like it — I’m just
not one of them. It must be doing
something right for the audience to
stick with it. A cynic might say they
don’t want to be challenged, only to be
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 The Matt Edmondson Show
4.00 Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The 8th with
Charlie Sloth 11.00 Ollie Winiberg 1.00am
Annie Nightingale 3.00 BBC Radio 1 &
1Xtra’s Stories: Music By Numbers —
Katy Perry 4.00 Radio 1’s Early Breakfast
Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Amol Rajan 2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 Jamie Cullum 8.00
Jo Whiley 10.00 Barry Humphries: Barry’s
Forgotten Musical Masterpieces. The
Australian comedian revisits the first half
of the 20th century to showcase forgotten
classics from the Depression Era, the early
days of the wireless and the Second World
War 11.00 Nigel Ogden: The Organist
Entertains. Nigel introduces new releases by
Phil Kelsall, the Scott Brothers and Daniel
Cook, including Anitra’s Dance, and In the
Hall of the Mountain King from Grieg’s Peer
Gynt Suite 11.30 Listen to the Band. Frank
Renton introduces a selection of music filled
with infectious rhythms and melodies
12.00 Sounds of the 80s (r) 2.00am Radio
2’s Folk Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: 90s
Hits 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Wednesday
Workout 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Georgia Mann presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show, featuring listener requests
9.00 Essential Classics
Suzy Klein presents the best in classical
music. Plus, listeners’ ideas for potential
companion pieces for a well-known piece of
music. Later, cultural Inspirations from
leading figures in the arts world
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Beethoven (1770-1827)
Donald Macleod delves into Beethoven’s
early years in Vienna, an era when he
honed his skills with Haydn and money
was tight. Beethoven (Rondo a capriccio,
Op 129 — Rage Over a Lost Penny; Piano
Sonata No 2 in A, Op 2; and Piano Concerto
No 1 in C, Op 15)
1.00pm News
Another murder investigation for pathologist Nikki (Emilia Fox)
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Tom Redmond presents the first of four
programmes recorded at St George’s Hall as
part of the Liverpool Philharmonic’s Chamber
Music Series — Jamie Barton sings Brahms
and the Brodskys play Beethoven. Brahms
(Four Lieder — Ständchen, Op 106 No 1;
Meine Liebe ist grün, Op 63 No 5; Unbewegte
laue Luft, Op 57 No 8; and Von ewiger Liebe,
Op 43 No 1); and Beethoven (String Quartet
No 14 in C sharp minor, Op 131)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Tom McKinney presents highlights from the
2017 Lucerne Festival, including a concert
by the City of Birmingham Symphony
Orchestra with their Music Director Mirga
Grazinyte-Tyla. Peteris Vasks (Cantabile);
Elgar (Cello Concerto in E minor, Op 85);
Rachmaninov (Symphony No 3 in A minor,
Op 44); Zimmermann (Contrasts —
Kontraste — music to an imaginary ballet);
Bartók (The Wooden Prince); and Michel van
der Aa (Hysteresis for clarinet, ensemble
and soundtrack)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty with a lively mix of chat, arts
news and live performance. Sean’s guests
include Anna Fedorova, who is soon to
perform at St John’s Smith Square, and the
Gould Piano Trio ahead of performances in
Leeds and Norwich
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An imaginative, eclectic mix of music,
featuring favourites together with
lesser-known gems, with a few surprises
thrown in for good measure
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Simon Rattle conducts works by Elliott
Carter, Janácek, Berg and Bartók, recorded on
Sunday at London’s Barbican Hall. Janácek
(Overture — From the House of the Dead);
Carter (Instances); Berg (Violin Concerto);
and Bartók (Concerto for Orchestra)
10.00 Free Thinking
The novelist Peter Carey talks to Rana
Mitter about depicting race and racing in his
latest novel which features a fictionalised
car race around Australia
10.45 Transformations: Five Stories
from Ovid’s Metamorphoses
The second of five dramas about love drawn
from tales told in Ovid’s Metamorphoses.
A gifted sculptor beseeches the god of love
to bring his statue of a woman to life
11.00 Late Junction
Nick Luscombe presents some kologo power
— the music from north-east Ghana made
popular by King Ayisoba and given a new
lease of life here through Atamina
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
News headlines and analysis
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 The Life Scientific
How a computer that costs little more than a
toasted sandwich was created (1/8)
9.30 One to One
Olympic rower Helen Glover speaks to
Gail Emms (2/8)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
In Search of Mary Shelley
Fiona Sampson’s biography of the author
of Frankenstein (2/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Including at 10.45 the 15 Minute Drama:
Hattie Naylor’s How to Survive the Roman
Empire, by Pliny and Me (2/5)
11.00 In Their Element
New series. The impact of the use and abuse
of lead on humanity (1/3)
11.30 Moving Pictures
A detailed examination of artistic
masterworks, with Cathy FitzGerald.
See Radio Choice (1/3)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Niche Work If You Can Get It
Nick Baker turns his lens on dating profile
photographers (2/5)
12.15 Call You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Roger Law: Art and Seoul
Roger investigates Seoul’s reputation for
plastic surgery (2/5) (r)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Stone
By Alex Ganley. The team now have their
prime suspect, but there is only one person
who can identify him (7/10)
3.00 The Kitchen Cabinet
Jay Rayner and his culinary panel visit
Burghley House near Stamford (4/7) (r)
3.30 Making History
How Romans fed their legions
4.00 Word of Mouth
Michael Rosen and Laura Wright start a new
run with hellos and greetings (1/6)
4.30 Great Lives
Justin Marozzi proposes Greek historian
Herodotus (8/8)
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
comforted by the familiar and
formulaic. But so what, really? You
could say the same about Pizza Express.
Anjelica Huston began A Shout in
the Street, her appreciation of James
Joyce, sitting in a cinema watching
herself performing in a screenplay that
had been written by her brother and
directed by her father, John. Once this
family love-in was concluded, Joyce
did eventually get a mention.
Anjelica had starred as Gretta
Conroy in that film version of Joyce’s
The Dead, which her father, in old and
evocative footage, described as being
the greatest short story in the English
language. She left us in no doubt of
her devotion to Joyce in what was an
engrossing hour, vividly narrated and
well punctuated with observations
from leading Irish writers, even
though she did it from that cinema
seat and not, for instance, walking
through Dublin, which would have
been more redolent and less like an
academic lecture.
But this is a small quibble. I loved
pretty much all of Anjelica Huston on
James Joyce, from the quoting of his
graphically fruity love letters to Nora
Barnacle (later his wife) to the flapping
moral panic over Ulysses, which was
banned in Britain and the subject of a
US obscenity trial. “If Ulysses isn’t fit
to read,” Joyce said, “then life isn’t fit
to live.” Wonderful.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
6.30 Simon Evans Goes to Market
The host returns to examine the concept of
the free lunch (1/4)
7.00 The Archers
Brian is in trouble and Susan has a brainwave
7.15 Front Row
Samira Ahmed presents
7.45 How to Survive the Roman
Empire, by Pliny and Me
By Hattie Naylor (2/5) (r)
8.00 File on 4
How thousands of people in the UK have
obtained fake and worthless degrees (1/10)
8.40 In Touch
News for people who are blind or
partially sighted
9.00 Inside Health
Separating medical fact from fiction
9.30 The Life Scientific
How a computer that costs little more than a
toasted sandwich was created (1/8) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Ritula Shah
10.45 Book at Bedtime: The Vital Spark
— A Far Cry from Kensington
By Muriel Spark. As Wanda continues
to behave strangely, Mrs Hawkins
remembers her brief wartime marriage
to Tom Hawkins (7/10)
11.00 The Infinite Monkey Cage
Exploring the secret life of birds (2/6) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Presented by Susan Hulme
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
In Search of Mary Shelley (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Ken Dodd Show 8.30 The Men
from the Ministry 9.00 The News Quiz Extra
9.45 Hearing with Hegley 10.00 Strangers
and Brothers 11.00 Behind the Screen 11.15
Hermit Lucas 12.00 The Ken Dodd Show
12.30pm The Men from the Ministry 1.00
Agatha Raisin 1.30 How to Write an
Instruction Manual 2.00 In Siberia 2.15 In
Search of Ourselves: A History of Psychology
and the Mind 2.30 Further Tales of the City
2.45 Speaking for Themselves 3.00
Strangers and Brothers 4.00 The Food Quiz
4.30 Ballylenon 5.00 1835 5.30 Mark
Steel’s in Town 6.00 Undone 6.30 Pioneers
7.00 The Ken Dodd Show. Featuring home
wine-making tips 7.30 The Men from the
Ministry. The bungling bureaucrats botch a
trade agreement with the Italians
8.00 Agatha Raisin. By MC Beaton. First
aired in 2004 8.30 How to Write an
Instruction Manual. The history of product
guides 9.00 Behind the Screen. Mystery by
Fr Ronald Knox 9.15 Hermit Lucas. Drama by
Martyn Wade. Originally broadcast in 2004
10.00 Comedy Club: Mark Steel’s in Town.
Stand-up comedy series 10.30 Lionel
Nimrod’s Inexplicable World. Comedy with
Richard Herring. First aired in 1993
10.55 The Comedy Club Interview. A chat
with a guest from the world of comedy
11.00 Seekers. Steven Burge’s comedy about
the characters who frequent a job centre
11.30 The Consultants. The team tackle an
unusual case of sexual harassment
11.45 Where Did it All Go Wrong? Comic
tales with Simon Munnery
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show 1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport.
Coverage of the night’s FA Cup third-round
replays 10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All
Night 5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
10.00 Jim White 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Stuart
Maconie 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley
9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Tom Ravenscroft
1.00am The First Time with Lars Ulrich
2.00 Blues to the Bone: The Life of Etta
James 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert. Jane Jones
highlights the work of Sergei Rachmaninov,
with tracks including Piano Concerto No.3 in
D minor Op 30, and Vocalise Op 34 No.14
10.00 Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
11
1GT
SCOTT RYLANDER
Concert
The Sixteen/Christophers
Kings Place, N1
Concert
The Riot Ensemble
LSO St Luke’s, EC1
P
T
{{{{(
art of the Time Unwrapped
season at Kings Place, the
Sixteen’s programme of music
by Guerrero, Palestrina and
Victoria, and poetry by
Seamus Heaney, was less about time
than it was about words: their weight,
colour, mouth-feel and meaning.
Lenten prayers were woven in
plainsong, chaste, cool and sweet. The
scents of frost, parchment and wild
garlic pricked the air in Heaney’s
verse, intoned by the actor Sean
Campion. Flowers blossomed, heavy
with nectar, in opulent, bedroom-eyed
settings of lyrics from the Song of Songs.
In four, five and six-part motets,
and in the love-drunk double choir
dialogue of Guerrero’s Ego flos campi,
the singers’ voices bloomed, elegant
and unruffled under the direction of
Harry Christophers. The programme
was subtitled Reincarnations. Yet the
only reincarnation beyond that in
every sung or spoken performance of
the written word and score was of
Nicholas Gombert’s motet In illo
tempore, a 16th-century Flemish
veneration of the breasts and womb
of the Blessed Virgin Mary, made
over as a dazzling sunlit Mass by
the first master of 17th-century
Italian music, Claudio Monteverdi.
You might wonder at the oddity of
listening to devotional music intended
for the chapels and cathedrals of
French Flanders, Rome, Venice and
the Iberian peninsula and Heaney’s
rueful recollections of the Catholic
rites of his boyhood in a secular
setting on a Saturday night. If any
criticism were to be made of the
performance, it would be slight. The
peeping of Christophers’s pitch pipes
between numbers seemed unnecessary
with a choir of this sophistication, and
although the singing was suave, it’s
debatable whether the dark sensuality
of Victoria, the pale beauty of
Gombert, the euphoric warmth of
Palestrina, the sublimated intensity
of Guerrero and the syncopated
brilliance of Monteverdi should
sound quite so easy on the soul.
Anna Picard
Pop
Pale Waves
Lexington, N1
W
{{{{(
hat a confusing world
we live in, when after
decades of being
inseparably linked,
music and fashion no
longer represent one another. Take
Pale Waves. The singer-guitarist
Heather Baron-Gracie has the kohleyed glamour of Siouxsie Sioux. The
peroxide blonde, black-clad drummer
Ciara Doran surely had posters of the
Cure on her teenage bedroom walls.
Yet the music of this Manchester
four-piece — shiny, crafted, brimming
with melody — is as pop as it gets.
This unlikely clash of sound and
vision got Pale Waves placed fifth on
the BBC’s Sound of 2018 poll and there
was an electric buzz at this tiny, wayover-capacity gig. Augmented by the
non-goths Hugo Silvani and Charlie
artsfirst night
{{{{(
Roly Botha as the gauche young Shane and Dan Hunter as Will, who takes him under his wing
Awkward, in a good way
This tender
drama about a
young gay man
in Sydney sags
a little, but it
still charms
Chris Bennion
Theatre
Strangers in
Between
Trafalgar Studios,
SW1
{{{((
T
he Australian playwright
Tommy Murphy’s 2005
drama has done very decent
business for the King’s Head
Theatre in north London.
First staged there in the summer of
2016, Strangers in Between was revived
in January 2017 and now its director,
Adam Spreadbury-Maher, has brought
it to the West End. It is easy to see
why. This tender, taut three-hander is
funny, warm and slips down as easily
as a Hunter Valley semillon.
In Sydney’s notorious King’s Cross
red-light district (which in the real
world is now stuffed with coffee shops
and yoga studios) we meet Shane
(Roly Botha), a quivering, nervous
wreck of a lad who has run away from
the redneck violence and small-town
small-mindedness of Goulburn to
forge a new life in the big city.
Before he came to Sydney, Shane,
who is gay, had been viciously beaten
by his homophobic brother. After a
stumbling start, he is taken under the
wing of a surrogate big brother, Will
(Dan Hunter), and a surrogate father,
Pete (Stephen Connery-Brown).
Shane is a fascinating character
and the first half, during which the
gauche, open book of a young man
finds his feet in the mean city, rips
Wood on guitar and bass, BaronGracie and Doran exuded confidence
in taking past elements of pop culture
and making them their own. New
Year’s Eve, a catchy heartbreak song
about being alone on the party night
of the year, could have come from
Prince’s mid-Eighties pop canon. My
Obsession evoked Madonna’s chirpy
directness, with Baron-Gracie making
stylised hand gestures to express the
emotional gravitas of the words and
radiating the star quality to match.
All of this evinced the ambition of
people who have taken feelings of
alienation and used them to fuel music
with the potential for mass appeal,
even if the band claim that their
forthcoming debut album has darker
songs to counter the pizzazz of the
singles. And they have been mentored
by fellow Mancunians the 1975, who
combined alternative touches with
a mainstream sound and went to
No 1 in the process. They may look
like goths, but Pale Waves won’t stay
in the shadows for long.
Will Hodgkinson
Pop
Fall Out Boy
Electric Brixton,
SW9
{{(((
along nicely. Botha overdoes the
terrified deer impression at times, but
he captures perfectly Shane’s peculiar
mix of self-loathing, wild-eyed
innocence and daredevil horniness.
Shane openly seeks sexual encounters
with men (the play features just
about the funniest sex scene I have
witnessed on stage), yet bridles at
being thought of as “poofy” or
having a “gay voice”. His self-disgust
overwhelms him when he catches
an STD from Will.
The arrival of Shane’s paranoid
pothead brother, Ben (also played by
Hunter), sadly derails events. The
character is a bit of a clanger and the
explanation of his anger and violence
towards Shane is heavy-handed.
The play also suffers from an
energy-sapping tendency to slump
into shouting matches whenever a
crisis point is reached.
However, Spreadbury-Maher’s crisp
production and Murphy’s natural wit
keep it on the right side of charming,
with Connery-Brown as the scabrous,
camp, regretful older man in particular
hitting his comedy straps (when asked
if he likes rugby league, he purrs: “I
buy the calendars”). It’s those tasty
morsels you’ll chew over.
Box office: 0844 8717632, to Feb 3
W
hatever would Sid
Vicious think? Punk
used to be about spiky
hair and even spikier
disaffection. Now its
American offshoot, pop punk, is
played by men who look like IT
technicians and tour with Taylor Swift.
OK, so Fall Out Boy can still muster
a smidgin of disaffection, but it’s the
kind that suggests not so much a
snarling rage at the status quo as
a failed software update.
To their credit, the band from
Illinois seem aware of this. Having
come up through the hardcore punk
scene of Chicago in the Noughties,
they realised their sensibilities were
more tuneful. As their bassist, Pete
Wentz, once said: “We are hardcore
kids that couldn’t quite cut it as
hardcore kids.” They opted instead for
a more radio-friendly route, which
brought them three No 1 albums and
a fistful of platinum singles.
This show, a warm-up before an
arena tour in March, was lapped up by
a word-perfect crowd. To these ears,
here’s something resolutely
refreshing about the Riot
Ensemble. “We perform
music we love for anyone
who wants to listen” is its
tagline on Twitter. Can performing
contemporary music really be that
simple? Well, on this evidence, yes.
This flexible group is really starting
to make its mark, and I’m sure
that’s down to the players’ tangible
curiosity and enthusiasm.
That said, there’s no guarantee
that the music will be an easy listen.
(Nor should there be, I hasten to
add.) Take, for instance, the Elliott
Carter Double Concerto for
harpsichord and piano, the linchpin
of this particular concert —
and, says the conductor Aaron
Holloway-Nahum, a “dream piece”.
Even with the concentration turned
up and the ears tuned in, the aural
complexity of the New Yorker’s 1961
concerto is challenging. Charles
Rosen, the pianist at the premiere,
likened it to cubism. Just as Picasso
and Braque give us multiple
perspectives in one picture, Carter
gives us multiple time frames in one
piece, jostling for our attention.
On stage, that means the
harpsichord and piano were placed at
opposite ends, as far away as possible
from each other, with the rest of the
musicians divided into two chamber
orchestras. From my seat, Adam
Swayne’s piano was hard to hear, but
Goska Isphording’s tangy, dynamic
harpsichord playing was a joy. And
their fellow Rioters were fully up
to Carter’s fierce intricacies.
Before that, we heard Pierce
Gradone’s 2016 To Paint Their
Madness, a detailed, airy and dense
piece inspired by Diderot’s thoughts
on actors and emotions, and Molly
Joyce’s sparky Push and Pull. In an
upbeat manner, Joyce plays with the
idea of the musical downbeat —
pushing and pulling the pulse. It was
a burst of poster-paint bright
optimism, with sassy saxophone and
horn solos. I liked it a lot.
Rebecca Franks
however, it had neither the intensity of
punk nor the tunes of pop. While their
fellow pop-punks Green Day, whom
Fall Out Boy inducted into the Rock &
Roll Hall of Fame, have hooks coming
out of their ears, most of these songs
lapsed into forgettability, even when,
as in Centuries, they pilfered snatches
of Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega.
Too often they fell back on that
workmanlike combination of stopstart dynamics and wordless choruses
(Irresistible had more oohs and woahs
than a fireworks display). Patrick
Stump is an unpretentious frontman
who talked with admirable honesty
about re-recording their forthcoming
album, Mania, when it wasn’t up to
scratch. Sadly, the new songs, which
included a pedestrian solo piano ballad
from Stump called Young and Menace,
still didn’t quicken the pulse. There’s
nothing wrong with valuing melody as
much as menace, but there just wasn’t
enough of either on display here.
Ed Potton
The tour opens at the Birmingham
Arena on March 27
12
1GT
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Chris Bennion
Britain’s Favourite
Dogs
ITV, 7.30pm
There are
probably two
types of
person in the
UK: those who had no
idea there were 100 dog
breeds to choose from
(there are, in fact, 217
Early
Top
pick
recognised by the
Kennel Club) and
those who could
merrily reel off their
top 100. If you are
somewhere near
the latter, this epic
dogathon is for you.
There is no doubt that
we are a nation of dog
lovers — there are now
more pooches in the
country than cats —
with one in four of us
sharing our home with
a kennel and a lead.
Sara Cox and Ben Fogle
present this rundown
of the nation’s most
popular dogs, taken
from a survey of 10,000
dog owners, with the
help of a few celebrity
cynophilists, including
Geri Horner, Gok Wan,
Michael Ball, James
Martin and Holly
Willoughby. Each
has their favourite.
Breeds are suspiciously
grouped at first — 100
to 95 are terriers; 92 to
88 are crossbreeds; 87
to 84 are what I will
dub “dogs the size of
horses”, and so on —
although it gets a bit
more interesting as
we approach the top
ten. If nothing else,
the first hour or
so will inform the
nation about the
existence of yorkies,
jerkies, goldadoors and
poochons. The
breakneck sprint
through the canines
is interspersed with the
odd moving or quirky
tale of dog ownership,
but most of the fun
comes from guessing
the make-up of the
top ten and which
breed is top dog. A little
clue: there are more
than half a million
of the most popular
breed in the UK.
House of Saud:
A Family at War
BBC Two, 9pm
“Saudi Arabia is the
most corrupt country
on the planet. And that
corruption goes right
to the top of the Saudi
royal family.” And how.
The second part of
this excellent series
begins with Crown
Prince Mohammed
bin Salman’s 2017
crackdown on
corruption, with 500
of the kingdom’s
wealthiest and most
powerful people
arrested. It was quite
a statement, and the
documentary delves
into the sort of shady
deals that have been
the hallmark of Saudi
business for decades.
Be warned: it makes
uncomfortable
viewing for us Brits.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Holidays.
Reports on how to tackle travel sickness 10.00 Homes
Under the Hammer. Properties about to be auctioned in
Derby, Essex and Cheshire (AD) 11.00 Wanted Down
Under. A London family tries a week in Melbourne before
deciding whether to move 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera.
A dad wheeling his son to playgroup has a near-death
experience with a car (r) 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. From
the British Motor Museum in Warwickshire (r) (AD)
1.00 BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 1.45 Doctors. Ruhma explains to Al and
Emma what happened with Besa (AD) 2.15 Father Brown.
The priest investigates a death involving pagans (r) (AD)
3.00 Escape to the Country. Nicki Chapman helps a househunting couple in Somerset (AD) 3.45 The Farmers’
Country Showdown. Three competitors hope to be named
Farm Worker of the Year 4.30 Antiques Road Trip. The
second leg for Paul Laidlaw and Margie Cooper begins in
medieval York 5.15 Pointless. Quiz in which contestants
try to score the fewest points possible by giving the least
obvious correct answers to questions 6.00 BBC News at
Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30 The Farmers’
Country Showdown (r) 7.15 Antiques Road Trip (r) 8.00
Sign Zone: Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (r) (SL) 9.00
Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 12.00
Daily Politics. Parliamentary proceedings interspersed
with discussions, interviews and filmed reports from
around the country. Presented by Jo Coburn 1.00pm Live
Snooker: The Masters — Ronnie O’Sullivan v Marco Fu.
Hazel Irvine presents coverage of the fifth last-16 match,
played over the best of 11 frames at Alexandra Palace in
London 4.45 More Creatures Great and Small. Vet Steve
treats a dog which has been shot accidentally (r) 5.15
Flog It! At Grimsby Minster, Lincolnshire, Anita Manning
is entranced by some pigeon racing memorabilia and
Christina Trevanion uncovers a rare Chinese silver butter
bowl (r) 6.00 Eggheads. Jeremy Vine hosts the quiz in
which the winners of famous game shows work as a team
to tackle a new set of challengers hoping to win a cash
prize 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys. Michael
Portillo conducts important research in an historic York
tea room, discovers Leeds’ textile heritage, and
investigates Bradford’s musical heritage (AD)
6.00am Good Morning Britain. The Madness frontman
Suggs discusses his biographic documentary film, My Life
Story 8.30 Lorraine. Liam Neeson discusses his new
movie, The Commuter 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30
This Morning. Chat and lifestyle features. Including Local
Weather 12.30pm Loose Women. More interviews and
topical debate from a female perspective, with the
Strictly Come Dancing judge Bruno Tonioli dropping in
for a chat 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
Cameras follow the criminal barrister Robert Rinder as
he takes on real-life cases in a studio courtroom 3.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal. David Dickinson and the team head
to Halesowen near Birmingham, where Fay Rutter has her
eye on a special dress, and Jon O’ Marah gets excited by
a train set 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz show in which contestants drop
tokens down a choice of four chutes in the hope of
winning a £10,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh
presents as four more contestants answer general
knowledge questions and work as a team to take on
ruthless quiz genius the Chaser and secure a cash prize
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.20am 3rd Rock from the Sun (r) 7.10 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r) 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA (r) 11.00 Sun, Sea and Selling Houses
(r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Couples Come Dine with Me. An amateur MC and his
partner kick-off the contest in Oxfordshire (r) 1.05 Posh
Pawn. James tries to make an £85,000 deal on a modified
sports car (r) 2.10 Countdown. Words-and-numbers
game, with Raj Bisram in Dictionary Corner 3.00 Village
of the Year. The team visits contenders in Devon, North
and South Wales and Somerset 4.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun. Scarlette Douglas shows a brother and sister
five properties on Antigua 5.00 Four in a Bed.
The second visit is to The Guest House Worsthorne in
Lancashire 5.30 Extreme Cake Makers. A husband and
wife team build cakes for Prince Charles and Camilla
6.00 The Simpsons. Hallowe’en-inspired tales featuring
the all-American family (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Maggie opens up to Scott, Jesse is put in a dangerous
position by Grace, and Courtney has an important visit
to the flat. Elsewhere, Ryan confronts Ste when he
finds out that he has purchased drugs (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.15 GPs:
Behind Closed Doors. Nurse Sarah Moloney removes
stitches from a man who was recently stabbed in the
head, and Dr Claire Taylor cleans the surgical wounds of a
woman who donated a kidney to her sister (r) (AD)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel Inspector.
Alex Polizzi visits a reputedly haunted hotel in St Albans,
Hertfordshire, where ghost tours and an appropriately
spooky themed restaurant menu are failing to attract
business (r) 1.05 Access. Showbiz news and gossip 1.15
Home and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS.
The agents investigate a government organisation
dedicated to child prodigies while researching a Marine’s
death, and realise a 12-year-old could be the killer’s next
target (r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: False Pretenses (12,
TVM, 2004) A woman rebuilds her life after the
suicide of her husband — but a shady figure from her past
soon returns to bring back painful memories. Thriller
starring Peta Wilson 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours.
The Brennan boys decide to sell the boat (r) (AD) 6.00
Home and Away. Novak tells Robbo they used to be
partners in crime (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
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7PM
For full terms and conditions, visit tslsubs.imbmsubs.com
7.00 The One Show Live chat and topical
reports, presented by Matt Baker
and Angela Scanlon
8PM
8.00 Inside the Factory Gregg Wallace
explores Ribena’s Gloucestershire
factory, and Cherry Healey lends a hand
harvesting berries on a 543-acre farm
in Kent. Last in the series (AD)
9.00 Silent Witness Part two of two.
Nikki comes face-to-face with Simon
Laing once again as the motive for the
murders appears to be blackmail. The
hospital computer database has been
hacked and Clarissa and Max follow the
forensic clues to a teenage hacker
called Splinter (4/10) (AD)
9.00 House of Saud: A Family at War
How some of the most prominent and
richest Saudi royals were caught up in
an unprecedented crackdown on
corruption. See Viewing Guide (2/3)
Late
11PM
10PM
8.00 Holby City Essie struggles to use
her head over her heart as she
gets involved with Gaskell’s trial.
Elsewhere, Fletch gets an unexpected
delivery, and Oliver is transferred to
AAU for a change of scene (AD)
9PM
7.30 EastEnders Max resorts to desperate
measures to save Abi, and as the
situation escalates, it seems no one
can reason with him (AD)
7.00 Rick Stein’s Road to Mexico The
chef reaches Oaxaca, home to Mexico’s
national cheese Queso Oaxacana and a
land where vanilla grows wild and
cacao orchards are harvested to make
chocolate (6/7) (r) (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 Love and Hate Crime New series.
Cameras investigate hate crimes in
the US, beginning with a man who
murdered the woman he loved (1/3)
11.45 Ecstasy Wars: Stacey Dooley
Investigates The journalist
investigates the production of ecstasy,
travelling to Cambodia, Canada and the
United States as she follows the trail
of the party drug (2/3) (AD)
12.50am-6.00 BBC News
10.00 Inside No 9 A tale involving the
Handle Me Gently removals company
and a nervous resident.
See Viewing Guide (3/6) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Evan Davis
7.00 Emmerdale Pete and Ross are at odds
over what to do when they discover
who really killed Emma, and Moira
anxiously awaits her fate (AD)
7.30 Britain’s Favourite Dogs: Top 100
Sara Cox and Ben Fogle reveal the
top 100 dog breeds in Britain, having
surveyed 10,000 people on the type
of canine they own. Famous faces
including Geri Halliwell, Simon
Gregson, Gabby Logan, Michael Ball,
Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby
introduce viewers to their four-legged
friends, and Prince Harry also makes
an appearance during the countdown.
See Viewing Guide
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 Regional News
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Secrets of the National Trust
with Alan Titchmarsh
Alan visits Attingham Hall in
Shropshire to tell the story of the
second Baron Berwick, the profligate
19th-century owner who squandered
the family fortune (3/6) (r) (AD)
8.00 The Secret Life of the Zoo Eastern
black rhino Zuri gives birth to baby Ike,
sun bears Toni and Millie are having
relationship issues, and Bactrian camel
Shan-shan is under the weather (AD)
8.00 Diet Secrets & How to Lose
Weight A team of scientists, doctors
and dieticians examine the promises
and pitfalls of crash dieting. They
explore why detox diets are not
necessarily the healthiest option,
and reveal that for some,
dieting can save their lives (3/4)
9.00 24 Hours in A&E Medics treat three
women who have been stabbed in a
Surrey supermarket car park, while
friends and relations recall their
associations with the wounded
9.00 Celebrity Big Brother Marcus
Bentley narrates coverage of the latest
action as the contestants continue
to get to know each other
10.00 Working Class White Men
Professor Green explores the identity
crisis that he believes white working
class men face and examines how it
affects their families (2/2)
10.00 One Night with My Ex
A 19-year-old woman and her
29-year-old former partner try to build
bridges after he betrayed her trust.
Cameras also follow two other former
couples considering a second chance at
their relationship (3/6)
10.45 Regional Programme
11.15 NFL This Week Mark Chapman
presents the best of the action from
the divisional play-offs, with expert
analysis from Osi Umenyiora
and Jason Bell
11.10 Girlfriends Sue reluctantly faces
the arrival of her birthday, and
tensions rise when her son Andrew
confesses a big secret at her
celebrations (2/6) (r) (AD)
11.00 Before We Die New series.
A police detective must step in
to handle an informant when her
colleague goes missing. Swedish
thriller starring Marie Richardson.
See Viewing Guide (1/10)
11.05 Celebrity Big Brother’s Bit on
the Side Rylan Clark-Neal presents
the CBB companion show,
including guests’ thoughts on the
latest events inside the house
12.05am Snooker: The Masters Barry Hawkins v
Kyren Wilson. Jason Mohammad presents highlights of
the sixth last-16 tie at Alexandra Palace in London
12.55 Snooker: The Masters — Extra 2.55 Sign Zone:
The Real Marigold on Tour (r) (AD, SL) 3.55-4.55
Miriam’s Big American Adventure (r) (AD, SL)
12.10am Holiday Horrors: Caught on Camera
Another selection of clips showcasing what can go wrong
on holiday, including a couple getting an unexpected
visitor to their tent on a safari holiday (r) 12.55
Jackpot247 3.00 Loose Women (r) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.15am Naked Attraction Contenders Mark and
Justin each select their dates from a line-up of potential
partners (r) 1.10 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
2.00 Secrets of Our Favourite Snacks (r) 2.55 Warship (r)
3.50 Rivers with Jeremy Paxman (r) 4.45 Coast vs
Country (r) 5.35-6.20 Countdown (r)
12.05am Celebrity Big Brother: Live from the
House 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors
(r) (AD) 4.00 Get Your Tatts Out: Kavos Ink (r) (SL)
4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Wildlife SOS.
The work of an animal sanctuary (r) (SL)
5.35-6.00 Divine Designs (r) (SL)
the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
13
1GT
television & radio
Art, Passion &
Power
BBC Four, 9pm
Andrew Graham-Dixon
takes on the job
of trawling his way
through 500 years of
the Royal Collection in
this four-part series. He
begins in the Tower of
London with the Crown
Jewels. Reflected
in these “fragile,
magnificent things” we
can see the mystery and
aura of the royal family,
something Henry VIII
and Charles I, the
subjects of this opener,
understood only
too well. Henry,
no surprises here, used
art to reflect pomp
and power; the more
refined Charles used
it to reflect his superior
taste. Both knew
the importance of
the royal brand.
Inside No 9
BBC Two, 10pm
Inside No 9 is such an
inventive and clever
show that it’s almost
disappointing to see it
play with something
as prosaic as time.
However, it is done, as
ever, brilliantly. From
the moment an oddly
nervous Monica Dolan
opens her front door to
Nick Moran’s removal
van, you know
something is up. And
as the action keeps
jumping back ten
minutes at a time, you
are guessing exactly
what. Emilia Fox and
David Calder co-star,
with the latter excellent
as an elderly man who
thinks he is Andrew
Lloyd Webber (“I
haven’t felt this bad
since the press night of
Love Never Dies . . .”).
Before We Die
Channel 4, 11pm
Channel 4’s foreignlanguage drama strand,
Walter Presents, tends
to import a lot of
humdrum Euro
dramas, but this
Swedish crime thriller
is one of the good
ones. It stars Marie
Richardson as Hanna
Svensson, a detective
so principled that she
threw her son in jail
for dealing drugs.
However, because she
is of “a certain age”, she
is also being sidelined
and shunted into early
retirement. When her
lover and colleague is
kidnapped, she sees an
opportunity to take on
a juicy case. Her son,
naturally, is in the thick
of it. And there’s a car
chase involving a
Volvo estate. Brilliant.
Sport Choice
BT Sport 2, 7.15pm
Leicester City welcome
Fleetwood Town of
League One to the
King Power Stadium
for an FA Cup thirdround replay. The Foxes
striker Jamie Vardy,
formerly of Fleetwood,
was injured for the first
match, but could be
fit to face his former
employers tonight.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Dog Whisperer (r) 7.00 Monkey
Life (r) (AD) 8.00 Meerkat Manor (r)
9.00 Road Wars (r) 10.00 Stargate Atlantis (r)
11.00 MacGyver (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) (AD) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r)
5.00 The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r)
6.00 Futurama (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Four episodes (r)
8.30 Harry Hill’s Tea-Time. With the former
EastEnders star Jessie Wallace
9.00 The Blacklist. Red ropes Tom into a plan to
help rebuild his criminal reputation, while
personal problems distract Ressler from a case
10.00 Trollied. Cheryl starts to regret leaving
Gavin in charge of the wedding plans
10.30 A League of Their Own (r) (AD)
11.00 The Force: North East (r)
12.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r)
1.00am Hawaii Five-0. Double bill (r) 3.00 The
Blacklist (r) (AD) 4.00 Stop, Search, Seize (r)
(AD) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r)
6.00am The Guest Wing (r) (AD) 7.00 The
British (r) (AD) 8.00 Richard E Grant’s Hotel
Secrets (r) (AD) 9.00 The West Wing (r)
11.00 House (r) 1.00pm Without a Trace (r)
2.00 Blue Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing
(r) 5.00 House. Medical drama (r)
6.00 House. Medical drama (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
With Grissom away on sabbatical, the team is
joined by new colleague Michael Keppler, who
soon gets to work investigating the murders of
four unidentified women (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Eddie and Jamie become
involved in a complicated adoption case (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: American Gangster (18, 2007)
Fact-based crime drama about 1970s drug
kingpin Frank Lucas and the cop who tried to
bring him down in the face of police corruption.
Starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe
12.00 Blue Bloods (r) (AD) 1.00am Dexter (r)
2.05 Banshee (r) (AD) 3.05 Girls (r) (AD)
4.10 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese: A
Year to Save My Life USA 8.00 Chicago Fire (r)
9.00 Criminal Minds (r) 10.00 Cold Case (r)
11.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia 12.00 House
Hunters International (r) 1.00pm Road Wars (r)
2.00 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD) 4.00 Chicago
Fire (r) 5.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
6.00 The Chef’s Line
6.30 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
7.00 Criminal Minds (r)
8.00 Elementary. Sherlock’s father arrives in
New York to help his son (r) (AD)
9.00 Chicago Fire. After a heroic rescue Kidd is
surprised to hear she is being transferred
10.00 How to Get Away with Murder. Annalise
reconnects with an important client
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Cold Case (r) 2.00 Bones (r) (AD)
3.00 Scandal (r) (AD) 4.00 Who’d Be a
Billionaire (r) 5.00 The Best of Nothing to
Declare (r) 5.30 The Chef’s Line (r)
6.00am Claudio Abbado’s Inaugural Concert
7.00 Celtic Woman: Destiny — Live in Concert
9.00 Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 9.30
Hollywood: Singing and Dancing (AD) 10.45
Monty Python’s Personal Best 12.00 Too Young
to Die (AD) 1.00pm Discovering: Frank Sinatra
(AD) 2.00 Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.30
Hollywood: Singing and Dancing (AD) 3.45
Monty Python: Almost the Truth 5.00 Too Young
to Die. Documentary (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Elizabeth Taylor (AD)
7.00 David Hockney: Time Regained.
A profile of the artist
8.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2018
9.00 Royal Academy: Painting the Future.
The potential of virtual reality in art
10.30 The South Bank Show 40th Anniversary
Special. Celebrating 40 years of the arts
and culture series
12.30am Portrait Artist of the Year 2018
1.30 Tony Visconti’s Unsigned Heroes (AD)
2.30 The Legacy 5.00 Auction
6.00am Live One-Day International Cricket:
New Zealand v Pakistan. Coverage of the
fourth match of the five-game series, which
takes place at Seddon Park in Hamilton
9.00 Live Test Cricket: South Africa v India.
Coverage of day four in the Second Test of
the three-match series, taking place at
SuperSport Park in Centurion 3.15pm Best
of Sky Cricket 3.30 Sky Sports News
7.00 Transfer Centre. The latest developments
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special. Julian Warren
introduces pre-match reports and news of all
tonight’s goals as they go in, while studio guests
keep an eye on the big games and talking points
10.00 The Debate. The latest news
11.00 Sky Sports News
1.00am Live WWE Late Night Smackdown.
Spectacular wrestling action with the stars of
the States, profiling fighters causing a stir and
following feuds as they spill out of the ring 3.00
Live ICC Under-19s World Cup Cricket:
West Indies v South Africa
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm Survivors
11.10 Love and Hate Crime 12.10am Ecstasy
Wars: Stacey Dooley Investigates (AD)
1.10-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 8.00pm-9.00 River City
10.45 Holby City (AD) 11.45 Love and Hate
Crime 12.45am Ecstasy Wars: Stacey Dooley
Investigates (AD) 1.45 Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.50-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 10.00pm-10.30 Beauty
Queen and Single (r) 11.15 Inside No 9. See
Viewing Guide (AD) 11.45 NFL This Week
12.35am Snooker: The Masters 1.25-2.55
Snooker: The Masters — Extra
BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 4.45pm First Minister’s
Questions 5.35-6.00 Flog It! (r)
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ITV Granada
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The Granada Debate
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As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Late Debate
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Great Continental Railway Journeys.
Michael Portillo sets out on a journey through
Bohemia and Bavaria (9/10) (r) (AD)
8.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making of Modern
Britain. The social changes brought about by the
First World War, both for those who fought on
the front line, and the people at home who lost
everything (3/6) (r) (AD)
9.00 Art, Passion & Power: The Story of the
Royal Collection. New series. Andrew
Graham-Dixon charts the history of the Royal
Collection, art and decorative objects amassed by
monarchs over 500 years. He begins with Henry
VIII and Charles I. See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.00 The Stuarts. Clare Jackson examines the
history of the 17th-century royal family (r) (AD)
11.00 Catching History’s Criminals: The
Forensics Story. The first murder solved in the
UK based on fingerprint evidence (r) (AD)
12.00 Timeshift: How to Be Sherlock Holmes
— The Many Faces of a Master Detective (r)
(AD) 1.00am Top of the Pops: 1981 (r)
2.25-3.25 Andrew Marr’s The Making of
Modern Britain (r) (AD, SL)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Coach Trip:
Road to Tenerife (r) (AD) 7.30 Streetmate (r)
8.00 Charmed (r) 9.00 Melissa & Joey (r) (AD)
10.00 Baby Daddy (r) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine
(r) (AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD)
1.00pm The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00
Melissa & Joey (r) (AD) 3.00 Baby Daddy (r)
4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The
Goldbergs. Double bill (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Granny Campbell has a plan
to sabotage Courtney (AD)
7.30 Coach Trip: Road to Tenerife (AD)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 Tattoo Fixers (AD)
10.00 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
10.50 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.20 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.50 Gogglebox (r)
12.55am Tattoo Fixers (r) (AD) 2.00 8 Out of
10 Cats (r) 2.45 Rude Tube (r) 3.10 Celebs Go
Dating (r) (AD) 4.05 Rude(ish) Tube (r)
4.25 Charmed (r) (SL)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) (AD) 9.30 A Place
in the Sun: Home or Away (r) 10.30 Four in a
Bed (r) 1.05pm A Place in the Sun: Home or
Away (r) 3.15 Come Dine with Me (r)
5.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo (r) (AD)
6.55 The Supervet. Noel Fitzpatrick operates on
two poodles that have the same owner, one
requiring a hip replacement and the other in
need of a new knee, while a kitten faces a
high-risk operation (r)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud catches up
with architectural designer Lincoln Miles and
Lisa Traxler, who transformed a 1970s bungalow
on the Isle of Wight (9/12) (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: 12 Years a Slave (15, 2013)
A black man in pre-Civil War New York is
abducted and spends years living in slavery.
Fact-based period drama starring starring
Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender
11.40 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
Gordon Ramsay visits Le Bistro in Florida,
where he clashes with a stubborn chef (r)
12.40am 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown:
New Year Special (r) 1.45 Grand Designs (r)
2.50-3.50 8 Out of 10 Cats: Best Bits (r)
11.00am Fixed Bayonets! (PG, 1951)
Korean War drama starring Richard Basehart
(b/w) 12.50pm The War Wagon (U, 1967)
Western starring John Wayne 2.55 Darkest
Hour Interview Special 3.00 How to
Murder Your Wife (PG, 1965) Comedy with
Jack Lemmon 5.20 Last Train from Gun Hill
(12, 1959) Western starring Kirk Douglas
7.10 Source Code (12, 2011) A pilot
investigates a bombing by having his mind
transferred into a victim for the last eight
minutes of his life. Sci-fi thriller with Jake
Gyllenhaal and Michelle Monaghan (AD)
9.00 Taken 2 (12, 2012) Former CIA agent
Bryan Mills fights to rescue his ex-wife from an
Albanian gangster whose son he killed. Action
thriller sequel starring Liam Neeson (AD)
10.50 Battle: Los Angeles (12, 2011)
A platoon of soldiers is sent into battle against
an alien invasion force that has landed on
America’s west coast. Sci-fi thriller starring
Aaron Eckhart and Ramon Rodriguez (AD)
1.05am-3.25 The Fighter (15, 2010)
Fact-based drama starring Mark Wahlberg
and Christian Bale (AD)
6.00am Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records (r) 6.55 Dress to Impress (r) 7.45
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.20 Coronation Street (r)
(AD) 9.25 The Ellen DeGeneres Show (r) 10.10
Who’s Doing the Dishes? (r) 11.10 Dress to
Impress (r) 12.10pm Emmerdale (r) (AD)
12.45 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 1.45 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show 2.40 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
6.00 Take Me Out (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Alan offers
Jenny some relationship advice
8.30 Superstore. Dina asks for a demotion so
that she is free to date Jonah (AD)
9.00 FILM: 2 Fast 2 Furious (12, 2003)
A disgraced cop is given a chance to redeem
himself by going undercover to bring a drug
trafficker to justice. Thriller starring Paul
Walker, Tyrese Gibson and Eva Mendes (AD)
11.10 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.40 Family Guy (r) (AD)
12.10am American Dad! (r) (AD) 1.05 Two and
a Half Men (r) 1.35 Release the Hounds: Love
Island (r) 2.25 Teleshopping 5.55 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r)
6.50 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 7.50 The Royal (r)
8.55 Judge Judy (r) 10.15 The Darling Buds of
May (r) 12.35pm The Royal (r) 1.40 Heartbeat
(r) (AD) 2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r)
3.50 On the Buses (r) 5.00 Rising Damp (r)
5.25 George and Mildred (r)
6.00 Heartbeat. Eileen Needham sues for
divorce after a domestic dispute (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Witchcraft comes to
Cabot Cove as Jessica investigates strange
happenings involving a woman who has been
dead for three centuries (r) (AD)
8.00 Midsomer Murders. The murder of a pupil
at a local school leaves Barnaby trying to deduce
whether the boy’s death is linked to his
membership of an elite club (r) (AD)
10.00 Foyle’s War. The crash landing of a
German plane and the murder of a farmer lead
Foyle and Milner to investigate the activities of
a group of land girls (3/4) (r) (AD)
12.00 Inspector Morse. An eminent scientist is
murdered (r) (AD, SL) 2.05am ITV3 Nightscreen
2.30 Teleshopping. Buying goods
6.00am The Chase (r) 6.50 Pawn Stars (r)
7.35 Ironside (r) (AD) 8.35 Quincy ME (r) 9.40
Minder (r) (AD) 10.45 The Sweeney (r) 11.50
The Professionals (r) (AD) 12.50pm Ironside (r)
1.55 Quincy ME (r) 2.55 Minder (r) (AD) 4.00
The Sweeney (r) 5.05 The Professionals (r) (AD)
6.05 The Car Chasers (r)
7.00 Pawn Stars (r)
7.30 Pawn Stars (r)
8.00 The Chase: Celebrity Special (r)
9.00 Britain’s Busiest Airport: Heathrow.
Cameras follow cleaners, ground staff and
members of the flight crew as they get the
world’s biggest passenger plane ready for
departure (2/3) (r) (AD)
10.00 FILM: The Krays (18, 1990) The story
of the ruthless twins who ruled east London’s
gangland with a rod of iron in the 1960s.
Fact-based drama with Gary and Martin Kemp,
Billie Whitelaw and Tom Bell (AD)
12.25am FILM: Hard Target (18, 1993)
Action thriller starring Jean-Claude Van Damme
(AD) 2.20 Tommy Cooper (r) (AD, SL)
2.50 ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.25 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Deadly 60 4.00 Ice Road
Truckers 5.00 Top Gear (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. With Alex James (AD)
7.00 Motorway Cops. Following police in
Birmingham as they tackle the rising problem of
crime on the country’s motorways. A high-speed
chase takes two officers into the city centre
8.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish.
Dave invents a newish game show. He also
examines the evolution of the Honey Monster,
the shyness of elks, and the naming of insects
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Ed Byrne hosts the
stand-up show from London’s Hammersmith
Apollo, welcoming guests Adam Hills and
Gina Yashere to the stage
10.00 Taskmaster. Game show
11.00 QI. With Bill Bailey and Clive Anderson
11.40 QI. With Sean Lock and Clive Anderson
12.20am Mock the Week. With Stewart Francis
and Ed Byrne 1.00 QI 2.20 Mock the Week
3.00 Live at the Apollo 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning 9.00
Casualty 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The Bill 12.00
The Duchess of Duke Street 1.00pm Last of the
Summer Wine 1.40 Steptoe and Son (b/w) 2.20
Birds of a Feather 3.00 London’s Burning 4.00
New Tricks 5.00 The Duchess of Duke Street
6.00 One Foot in the Grave. The Meldrews set
off for a seaside break
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo steps in
to test Wesley’s heavy-duty sucker and blower,
which can only mean disaster
7.20 Goodnight Sweetheart.
Gary’s time-warped careers take off
8.00 Death in Paradise. A surf-school owner
is shot dead (2/8) (AD)
9.00 New Tricks. Pilot episode. Superintendent
Sandra Pullman is sidelined after a failed
hostage rescue and put in charge of a new
department manned by a motley crew
of former detectives (1/7) (AD)
11.00 Birds of a Feather
11.40 The Bill. Sun Hill is under siege
12.40am Bergerac 1.40 Crusoe 3.30 Garden
Hopping 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Machines of War
(AD) 11.00 Forbidden History (AD) 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Human Universe (AD) 2.00
Earth’s Natural Wonders (AD) 3.00 Coast (AD)
4.00 Forbidden History (AD) 5.00 The World’s
Weirdest Weapons (AD)
6.00 Battleplan. Why a commander might
choose to fight defensively
7.00 Machines of War. The history of the
machine gun from the First World War to
the world’s deadliest modern automatic
weapons, including the use of Tommy Guns
in organised crime (AD)
8.00 Abandoned Engineering. The world’s most
impressive disused railway bridges (3/6) (AD)
9.00 Porridge. The inmates hunt for a thief
9.40 Porridge. Fletch sorts out Godber’s love life
10.20 Porridge. Mackay takes a holiday
11.00 Open All Hours. Arkwright has the blues
11.40 Open All Hours. The milkwoman
makes a pass at Granville
12.20am Open All Hours 1.00 Museum Secrets
2.00 Pointless 3.00 Home Shopping
ITV Meridian
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 The Last Word
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 River
Monsters (r)
ITV West/ITV Westcountry
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10
The Westcountry Debate
ITV Yorkshire
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Last Orders
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 Girlfriends (r) (AD) 12.05am Shopping
1.05 After Midnight 2.35-5.05 Nightscreen
UTV
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 River
Monsters (r) 12.55am Teleshopping
2.25-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Leugh le Linda 5.20 Ag Ionnsachadh le
Blàrag (Learning with Connie) (r) 5.25 Pincidh
Dincidh Dù (Pinky Dinky Doo) (r) 5.35 Su
Shiusaidh (Little Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.40 Na
Floogals (r) 5.50 Srath Sona (Happy Valley) (r)
5.55 Oran le Fiona (r) 6.00 Seoc (Jack) (r)
6.15 Am Prionnsa Beag (The Little Prince) (r)
6.35 Sealgairean Spòrsail (History Hunters) (r)
7.00 Eileanan Fraoich: Isle of Rum (r)
7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 8.00
An Là (News) 8.30 Leugh Mi (Book Show)
9.00 Farpaisean Chon-Chaorach (Sheepdog
Trials) 10.00 Trusadh: Dion nan Leabhar
(Second Hand Books) (r) 11.00 Togaidh Sinn
Fonn (Join in the Music) (r) 11.25 Binneas: Na
Trads (r) 11.30-12midnight Alleluia!
(Spiritual Music & Verse) (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 News 12.05pm Dudley:
O’r Gat i’r Plat (r) (AD) 12.30 Cynefin (r) 1.30
Ward Plant (r) 2.00 News 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News 3.05 Pen Llyn Harri Parri (r) (AD)
3.30 Canu’r Cymoedd (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00
Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh: Dreigiau —
Marchogion Berc (r) 5.25 Stwnsh: Pat a Stan
(r) 5.35 Stwnsh: Pwy Geith y Gig? 6.00 News
6.05 Prosiect Z 6.30 Rownd a Rownd (AD)
7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y Cwm (AD) 8.00
Priodas Pum Mil 9.00 News 9.30 Beti George:
Colli David 10.30-11.35 Noson Lawen (r)
14
Tuesday January 16 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7550
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3234
5
6
7
20
23
17
16
8
9
3
5
5
12
13
11
7
1
17
18
7
25
26
10
Train Tracks No 306
7
15
18
5
1
22
12
23
25
14
15
23
4
16
6
6
6
4
5
21
25
15
16
4
16
10
3
25
5
4
17
14
6
23
16
16
1
16
5
18
15
23
13
2
1
4
6
2
3
6
2
3
20
4
13
4
7
16
4
18
2
25
7
13
A
12
4
16
4
17
13
9
6
13
13
12
15
3
13
18
8
25
24
2
16
23
4
12
13
12
5
9
1
19
5
21
4
21
19
5
4
21
23
15
6
21
T
13
12
(Of the eyes) red (9)
Fruit seed (3)
Pacific region (7)
In a frenzy (5)
Break suddenly (4)
Less intelligent (8)
Game; gourd (6)
US city; card game (6)
Solution to Crossword 7549
D
E
C
I
M
A
T
E
S
K
U
A
15
13
13
B
Y M
25
23
17
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
23
Across
1
6
8
9
10
11
13
14
17
25
U T Y MOB I L
A
B M
A P I TO L
P A
A O
I
R
I S J U DGME N
C E C
E E T HE O I L
N S K S
DEC L I V I T
U R T O
YR I E S I NC
E E C
B S I N T HE O
I T Y
G O
NS Y
I
O
T
E E
R I G
G
I E S
C H
ER E
U
L
P A L
17 Word on parting (8)
18 Boast (4)
20 Small weight (5)
21 Cut of beef (7)
22 Day before a festival (3)
23 Small plant (9)
5
9
13
18
17
25
3
11
6
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
14
15
16
17
18
19
7
8
9
10
20
21
22
23
T
11
12
13
24
25
26
M
Y
Down
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
12
15
16
17
19
7
© PUZZLER MEDIA
22
13
10
Female garments (7)
Excess quantity (13)
Eat dinner (4)
Card suit (6)
Small stirrer (8)
UK currency (5,8)
Card game (5)
Hydrocarbon in rubber (8)
Failure to do something (7)
Insect (6)
Bird; foolish person (5)
Incentive (4)
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Lexica
W
R
M
P
H
V
S
O
T
L
R
T
F
E
N
I
A
M
U
A
L
N
E
C
I
E
T
R
C
A
G
P
E
E
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
84901 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
No 4094
A
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday’s solution, right
No 4093
L
O
A
E
A
S
A
M
S
O
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
B
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4226
Futoshiki No 3087
Kakuro No 2046
>
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
>
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
What are your favourite
puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
>
∧
3
29
16
12
16
16
26
28
10
23
29
7
37
23
32
30
23
9
23
16
25
6
∧
1
30
16
22
1
4
17
17
24
27
18
28
∧
∧
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
14
21
3
21
13
4
7
4
21
19
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
8
3
3
23
3
© PUZZLER MEDIA
20
the times | Tuesday January 16 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
1 d4 Nf6 2 Bf4
Carlsen loves to drive his opponents onto their own resources at
an early stage. 2 Bf4 is an ideal
move in this respect although
here it swiftly leads to a fairly
standard London System position.
2 ... e6 3 e3 c5 4 c3 b6 5 Nf3 Be7
6 h3 0-0 7 Nbd2 cxd4 8 exd4 Bb7
9 Bd3 d6 10 0-0 Nbd7 11 Qe2 a6
12 a4 Re8 13 Bh2 h6 14 Rfe1 Bf8
15 Nc4 Qc7 16 Ne3 Nd5
New and bad. 16 ... Ne4 has
been seen before and is equal.
17 Nxd5 Bxd5 18 Bxa6 Bxf3 19
gxf3 Nf6
EASY
MEDIUM
HARDER
+5
÷2
SQUARE
IT
+9
÷ 2 – 14 x 3
154 x 3 + 88
+ 1/5
– 78
+ 1/2
– 93
75%
OF IT
248 + 856
50%
OF IT
OF IT
x 4 – 764
OF IT
75%
OF IT
Black may have misjudged this
position. The white kingside weaknesses are irrelevant as Black has
no pieces in that sector. Meanwhile
the white queenside pawn majority, supported by the bishop pair,
advances swiftly and decisively.
20 Bb5 Rec8 21 c4 Qb7 22 b4 g6
23 a5 bxa5 24 bxa5 Qa7 25 Qe3
Rd8 26 a6 Bg7 27 d5 exd5 28 Bc6
dxc4 29 Bxa8 Qxa8 30 Ra5 d5 31
Qb6 d4 32 a7 Rc8 33 Qb8 c3 34
Qxc8+ Qxc8 Black resigns
– 87 x 2
x 3 + 776
3/5
OF IT
8
12
7
8
6min
7
17
13
9
11
15
10
23
16
19
29
4
12
14
3
3
8
12
20
28
15
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: North-South
♠ AQ
♥8 4 2
♦K J 10 6 3
♣Q 10 4
♠7 5 3
N
♥J 10 9 7 5 W E
♦7 4 2
S
♣6 2 ♠ 10 9 8 2
♥KQ 6
♦9 8 5
♣A K J
6
4
S
W
N
E
1NT
Pass
3NT(1)
End
(1) Too good for 2NT, given the robust fivecard diamond suit. That ♦10 is worth at
least one point.
Contract: 3NT, Opening Lead: ♥ J
what makes the defensive challenge so interesting.
The successful East-West
defence occurred when West,
Evan Harris, opted to try to find
his partner at home with an opening spade lead, a very bright shot.
The odds of being able to run his
hearts given the lack of a sideentry are surely slender.
Dummy’s queen of spades lost
to the king of East, Archie
Hamilton. East continued with a
low spade, declarer winning in
dummy, crossing to a club and
leading a diamond to the ten. East
won the queen and could cash the
king of spades and ace of diamonds. Down one.
For this winning defence, Harris
and Hamilton were awarded the
best play prize for the Tony Berry
Trophy (retaining their title of the
previous year).
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
Killer Tough No 5820
17
12
19
19
8
10
28min
19
16
19
15
6
18
14
6
9
22
5
12
10
-
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
8
9
7
4
2
1
3
2
8
9
1
5
6
7
4
6
5
7
3
4
8
9
1
2
9
1
4
6
2
7
5
3
8
7
9
1
2
8
4
3
6
5
8
9
5
1
6
7
4
2
3
2
3
7
5
9
4
6
1
8
6
1
4
3
8
2
5
7
9
5
7
2
6
4
9
8
3
1
S K
C
E
R I S
O
T
WA R
D
E
G L
T
WH I
I
N
CON
E
E
F R
2 4
1 6 2
7 3
3 1
8 9 7
6 8 9
9
2 9 1
1 8 3
3 6
2
4
6
5
3
1
7
8
9
4
3
9
1
7
2
8
5
6
1
7
5
8
6
9
2
4
3
8
6
2
4
5
3
1
9
7
1
6
9
8
7
3
2
5
4
4
8
3
2
1
5
9
6
7
9
4
1
7
2
6
3
8
5
7
5
6
4
3
8
1
9
2
3
2
8
9
5
1
7
4
6
9
6
7
4
1
3
2
8
5
5
2
3
7
8
6
1
9
4
1
8
4
9
5
2
7
6
3
20
5
8
2
1
3
4
6
7
9
7
6
1
2
9
8
3
4
5
9
3
4
6
7
5
2
8
1
1
5
4
1
3
2
3
-
+
21
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
4
3
12
2 4
4
9
5
8
6
1
7
3
2
2
9
3
7
5
2
6
4
8
1
9
6
1
8
5
9
7
3
4
2
7
3
2
6
4
1
9
5
8
4
5
9
3
2
8
6
7
1
3
7
6
5
2
9
8
1
4
1
2
8
7
4
3
9
5
6
6
1
3
9
5
7
4
2
8
8
4
9
3
1
2
5
6
7
2
5
7
4
8
6
1
9
3
3
-
5
1
2
5
6
4
8
9
7
3
7
2
3
6
2
3
4
4
4
A
4
3
3
4
1
B
Suko 2135
6
9
3
5
1
7
8
2
4
7
4
8
2
3
9
1
5
6
S
T
3
7
6
9
5
1
2
4
8
2
5
9
4
8
6
7
3
1
8
1
4
3
7
2
5
6
9
5
3
2
1
9
4
6
8
7
4
8
1
7
6
5
3
9
2
9
6
7
8
2
3
4
1
5
6
7
H
F
V
E
M
F
A
N
E
O
N
X
A
I
P
I
T
Lexica 4092
3 < 5
∨
1
2
3
∨
5 > 4
1
∨
∧
3
1
2
∨
∧
2
5
4
4
Z
E
4
+
2
÷
+
+
x
3
Lexica 4091
-
x
1
F F
I
P
E UR
R
I
Y S S
M
OD
U
V
T L E
P
X
ON E
S
D
T E
Sudoku 9595
8
4
6
1
3
9
5
2
7
Set Square 2048
10
5
2
9
1
8
7
5
4
3
6
Futoshiki 3086
16
10
D
P U
E
I
L I QU
U
U
G AB
E
N
OB E
S T O
U
J
Z Z
E N T I
Z
T
R
V I C T
A T
N
E W
OG D E L E
Killer 5818
3 > 2
2
Train Tracks 305
EWE
I
E N
C
T HO
Sudoku 9594
5
8
3
7
9
6
4
2
1
KenKen 4225
8
=
60
Codeword 3233
6 8
5 4
9
7
7 6
9 5
1
3
4 9
2 7
7
9
=3
=
15
Kakuro 2045
Cell Blocks 3116
13
=4
x
-
4 < 5
7
4
+
=
432
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
works? We’ve
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
x
x
x
9
20
= 24 from 1-9 are
x
2
9
5
All the digits
x
-
Killer 5817
♠K J 6 4
♥A 3
♦AQ
♣9 8 7 5 3
+
x
Sudoku 9593
16
3
Solutions
4 9 7
7 2 8 9
9 1 6 8
2 5
1 2 3
2 4 1
3 1
2
6 9
1
4 8 9
6 7
10
6
20
4
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Set Square No 2049
Killer Moderate No 5819
3
3
10
Yesterday’s answers
amah, amp, amphora, arm, aroma,
ham, haram, harm, hom, homa, maar,
maha, map, mar, mho, moa, mop,
morph, ohm, paramo, pharma, pram,
prom, ram, ramp, roam, romp
23
3
4
6
5 4
From these letters, make words of
three or more letters, always
including the central letter. Answers
must be in the Concise Oxford
Dictionary, excluding capitalised
words, plurals, conjugated verbs (past
tense etc), adverbs ending in LY,
comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 17 words, average;
23, good; 26, very good; 30, excellent
Bridge Andrew Robson
Teams
+ 688
2
Polygon
________
árD DrgkD]
àD 1 Dp0 ]
ßB0 0ph 0]
ÞD D D D ]
ÝPD ) D D]
ÜD ) DPDP]
Û ) DQ) G]
Ú$ D $ I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
________
á D D D D] Winning Move
à0pD Dp4k]
ß D DrDq0] White to play. This position is from
chess.com 2018.
ÞD 0NgRD ] Carlsen-Nakamura,
This game was played at a time control
Ý DPDPD D] known as “bullet”, where both players have
ÜDPD DQDP] little more than one minute to play all their
Û D $ DPD] moves. Nevertheless, Carlsen had little
ÚD D D DK] trouble spotting the winning coup here.
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ Can you do as well?
The 2017 Lords v Commons played
in November was won by the
House of Commons by 36 imps, a
decent margin over the 24 boards.
Winning team: Bob BlackmanTommy Sheppard, Michael MatesRobin Squire, Bridget PrenticeDuncan Brack, Evan HarrisArchie Hamilton.
Board Five was an interesting
3NT that was defeated at only one
table. West leads the normal jack
of hearts to East’s ace. As East,
plan the defence.
You know partner has next-tonothing, for you have 14 points,
dummy has 12 and declarer has
advertised 12-14. That leaves room
for no more than two points for
partner and he has already turned
up with one (the jack of hearts).
Returning a second heart is
futile. Declarer will win and play
on diamonds. He will force out
your queen and ace and set up
three diamond tricks to go with his
three club tricks, king-queen of
hearts and ace of spades. Nine
tricks and game made.
Has the penny dropped? If you
switch at trick two to a low spade
(key play) and lead another low
spade when you win the queen of
diamonds, you will set up five
defensive tricks. When you win the
ace of diamonds, you’ll be able to
cash the promoted king-jack of
spades. Down one.
The point is the tempo is on
your side — you can remove
dummy’s two spade stoppers before
declarer can remove your two diamond stoppers. It is counter-intuitive to lead from a king-jack round
to dummy’s ace-queen and that’s
20%
OF IT
32 + 13
© PUZZLER MEDIA
In a speech to parliament in 1545,
King Henry VIII excoriated the
stubborn, diehard old Catholics
who, reluctant to give up their
practices after the Henrician Reformation, “be too stiff in their old
mumpsimus”. He also turned his
fire on the overzealous Protestants
who, yearning to go too far in
religious reforms, were, “too busy
and curious in their new sumpsimus”. In essence, Henry was
calling for moderation and balance,
which I see echoed in the modern
dilemma facing elite chess.
At the London Chess Classic, an
excess of correct but cautious
draws drained much excitement
from the competition, a problem
that will be addressed by rule
changes for next year’s event. In
contrast, Magnus Carlsen and
Hikaru Nakamura recently contested a Blitz match, won handsomely by Carlsen, conducted
under such terrifyingly accelerated
time controls that the overall quality of play suffered greatly. As
today’s Winning Move shows, individual flashes of brilliance were still
possible but the games as a whole
were distressingly packed with
blunders, marring any scientific or
artistic value.
A happy medium at elite level,
creating balance between the
pedestrian games from London
and the frenzy of the CarlsenNakamura match, was the combination of the rapidplay and blitz
formats on display in Riyadh.
There, fast but not breakneck
time controls proved capable of
producing both high quality and
decisive chess.
White: Magnus Carlsen
Black: Varuzhan Akobian
World Blitz, Riyadh 2017
London System
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Time control balance
Cell Blocks No 3117
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1
x
x
8
Quiz 1 Baker Street 2 Lake Superior 3 Eye
4 Whitgift School — named after John Whitgift
5 Humpback 6 Michael Palin 7 Chris Hani
8 Jahangir — the name, meaning “world seizer”,
adopted by Prince Salim 9 Rock of Ages — by the
Rev Augustus Toplady 10 Types of battle tank
11 Fluorine 12 HMS Pinafore — by Gilbert and
Sullivan 13 George Grosz 14 Kumar Sangakkara.
Only Sachin Tendulkar has scored more
15 Baby blue eyes
D
A
U
B
O
U
A
N
E
L
L
Y
A
N
D
C
T
E
S
A
T
K
Y
Word watch
Distringas (b) A writ
directing a sheriff to
seize property
Distrix (a) In medicine,
the splitting of ends of hair
Myringa (c) The eardrum
Brain Trainer
Easy 45; Medium 996;
Harder 3,103
Chess 1 Rxe5! wins as 1 ...
Rxe5 2 Nf6+ Kh8 3 Rd8+
is decisive
16.01.18
MindGames
Mild No 9596
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Difficult No 9597
6 5
8
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
1
5 6
3
7
2
6
2 6
7
4
Distringas
a Uncoordinated
b A writ
c Unhinged
3
8 7
9
5
Distrix
a Splitting hairs
b A Celtic chief
c A parish
Myringa
a A language
b A skin disease
c Part of the ear
4
8 3
9
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
Answers on page 15
4
2
7 8
5
3
7
Super fiendish No 9598
5
8
5
1
9
4
4
6
8
7
6
4
8
9 3
2
1
1 5
3 2
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
GETTY
1 “Light in your head
and dead on your feet” is
the second line of which
Gerry Rafferty hit?
11 Which gaseous
element, the first
halogen, has the
atomic number 9?
2 What is the largest
of the Great Lakes of
North America?
12 Which 1878 comic
opera features the
sailor Ralph Rackstraw?
15
6 Which Monty Python
member went around
the world in 80 days in
a 1989 TV series?
4 Which Croydon
independent school
was founded in
1596 by Elizabeth I’s
last archbishop of
Canterbury?
7 In 1993, which South
African Communist
Party leader was
assassinated outside
his Boksburg home by
Janusz Walus?
5 Named in a 2007
poll, Mister Splashy
Pants lives in the
south Pacific. What
whale species is it?
8 Which Mughal
emperor, who reigned
1605-27, had a legendary
relationship with the
courtesan Anarkali?
9 Which 1775 hymn
is said to have been
inspired by an incident
in the gorge of
Burrington Combe?
10 What are the M4
Sherman, Sherman
Firefly, M48 Patton
and M60 Patton?
13 Which German
expressionist
painted The Funeral:
Dedicated to Oskar
Panizza (c 1917-18)?
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
Yesterday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 1005
14 In ODI cricket,
which Sri Lankan
scored 14,234 runs at
an average of 41.98?
15 What is the common
three-word name of
the pictured flower,
Nemophila menziesii?
Answers on page 15
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1006
1
2
3
4
5
6
12
13
7
10
11
14
15
16
17
18
21
24
19
22
20
23
L I L A C
I
H
A
I MME R
B
O
D
E N
C
I
D
A T ONC
L
M R
A P P R E
S
O
CUR S E
A
L
U
SO L OM
CH A NC E L
Z
I
A
O
R E L I C
S E
C
V
A
T HU S I A S T
S
T
D
I
S AMOA N
E
G R
S
G
C I A T E
B
L
E
E
B L I ND E R
O N
E
I
ON GE N I E
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
by Alconiere
8
9
4
8
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
3 The choroid is the
vascular layer of which
sense organ?
5
6
6
7 8
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
Across
1 Huge double obstacle met by a
work of Shaw’s (5,7)
9 Steer, behold, trapped in hole
(5)
10 Moving ten to HQ secretly
(2,3,2)
11 Gold fruit mostly displayed by
vending machine (7)
12 State lyceum being regularly
visited (5)
14 Miners’ union man without
deputy (6,3)
18 Not entirely the reverse of
grey — exotic plant (5)
20 Sullied rank, getting
maltreated (3-4)
21 Girl hugging boy hard in ME
town (7)
23 Nothing held one back in this
state (5)
24 Something digital filming deer
wandering round end of wood
(6,6)
Down
2 Suddenly, everyone in
agreement about topic, finally
(3,2,4)
3 Best work by small boy, with
little hesitation (7)
4 Who felt bold, if resolved to be
revealing (4,3,3,3)
5 Elegant finale to jazz I try
playing (5)
6 A ten-point cut (3)
7 Player’s profession: as a
substitute? (6)
8 Water small bunch of flowers
(5)
13 View of Apollo astronaut,
perhaps, reveals bottom and
head (9)
15 Hack not like famous author
(7)
16 Record and preserve deadlock
(6)
17 Include wine, we hear, for
particular purpose only (2,3)
19 Former Anglican, 50, to be
superior (5)
22 Staff do right to return (3)
4 5
8 2
5 6
7
7
4
3 9 5
8
7
9 4 5
2
8
8
3 5
7 1
6 1
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