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The Times Times 2 - 17 October 2017

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On Tuesday
October 17 | 2017
Treason
and testosterone
How they sexed up the gunpowder plot
2
1GT
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
times2
There’s only one
way to beat the
social media trolls
Robert Crampton
T
he American writer,
actor, director,
comedian and
all-round talent
Lena Dunham has
acknowledged that her
friend and colleague
Jennifer Konner did
her a huge favour recently. Konner,
realising that Dunham was becoming
overwrought by the abuse directed
her way by trolls on social media, took
the simple and effective measure of
removing her friend’s computer.
Dunham came to prominence with
the TV comedy Girls. Like many
women in the public eye, particularly
women seeking to convey a feminist
message, Dunham became a target for
online unpleasantness. As a youngster
(she first hit the headlines aged 24 and
is still only 31) her response was to
engage with her critics. Basically she
made the mistake of replying to them.
I’m not privy to the content. Maybe
she tried to debate with them.
Convince them. Persuade them of
the wrongness of their views, or the
ill manners with which they were
expressed. I don’t know. Maybe on
occasion she sought to abuse them
in return. By way of vengeance. Going
by my own reaction to the nastiness
I occasionally experience as a mere
columnist, I suspect that Dunham’s
rejoinders were a mixture of
argument, outrage and self-defence.
The plain fact is, none of it works.
Best to say nothing. The only
person suffering is you.
Konner saw that and
acted as she did.
She was 100
per cent right,
although
obviously
it’s a shame
that Konner
felt that such an
extreme measure
was required. Still, I
surmise that even lacking
her trusty keyboard,
Dunham was able to
continue expressing
herself creatively and
earn her livelihood.
Old-school longhand
has its advantages.
Years ago, when I
had already achieved a
Lena Dunham
The north
ate all
the pies
much greater age and a much smaller
degree of prominence than Dunham,
my wife performed a similar service
for me. Not that I would presume
to claim to be the victim of even a
fraction of the vitriol that most women
in the public eye receive. Even so, I’ve
had my share. It’s vicious, it’s violent
and it does your head in.
When it started I’d reel at whatever
extreme nastiness had just dropped
into my inbox, then try to engage
the sender in the same way that
Dunham seems to have done —
angsting, appealing, remonstrating,
reasoning and so forth.
My wife didn’t resort to nicking my
laptop. It was enough for her to tell
me, over the course of several years,
that any response — any at all — was
a hiding to nothing. Leave it. Let it be.
It ain’t worth it. Log off.
Of course if you’re Jewish, as
Dunham is on her mother’s side, the
vituperation is multiplied. I’m as
gentile as they come. Yet when I first
revealed in print that my children
were called Samuel and Rachel I was
subject to a dose of the antisemitic
poison that all actual Jews in a public
role endure as a matter of course.
I like to think I’ve risen above
it all, but I’m not sure that’s
true. My skin has not grown
quite as thick as might
be expected. I’m not on
Twitter, for instance. And
while there are other reasons
for this neo-Luddite refusal
to embrace the modern
world — time
pressure, persistent
inebriation,
technological
incompetence — I
can’t deny the fear
of exposing myself
to an even slightly
broader level of
nastiness is a
factor in my social
media silence.
I admire the
courage of all
those who put
themselves out
there. I also
admire the good
sense of those who
choose to take the
occasional break.
Perhaps that’s the
P
way forward.
As a born-and-bred
northerner transplanted
to the south, I am not
surprised to see that
research has confirmed
that the north-south
divide bisecting our
country is more ancient
than we might have
supposed. For various
geographical reasons
— not to mention
topographical, not to
mention riparian — the
study indicates that
since Roman times the
Watford Gap has indeed
served as a significant
boundary between
different types of Briton.
Woody’s
wrong on
Weinstein
Woody Allen and James
Corden have been
forced to apologise
for — or “clarify”, in
mealy-mouthed modern
parlance — their
responses to the Harvey
Weinstein scandal.
Corden, hosting a
charity gig in Los
Angeles, chose to
make a series of jokes
about the affair. It
didn’t help his cause
that none of his jokes
was any good —
although it is hard to
imagine what might
constitute a rib-tickling
punchline about
rape. The TV presenter
tried to get away with
his misjudgment
by means of some
quite impressive
follow-up grovelling.
Allen’s comments
are less forgivable.
Having condemned the
monstrous mogul and
sympathised with the
numerous actresses
involved, the film
director added that
“the whole affair is very
sad for everybody
involved”. After
protests, including the
actress Rose McGowan
splendidly referring
to him as “a vile
little worm”, Allen
said yesterday that
Weinstein is “a
sad, sick man”.
Still not good enough,
IMHO. Listen, Woody,
nobody cares if your
pal is “sad”. Neither
does anyone seriously
reckon that he’s “sick”.
Not in a medical sense,
anyway. As for morally
sick, yeah, that’s
another matter.
Too right. But didn’t
everybody know this
already? Down here
they’ve got the money.
Up there we’ve got the
rest: the talent, the
scenery, the space,
pretty much everything,
in fact. And the pies.
Let’s not forget the pies.
Looking for
mindfulness?
Get thee to
a monastery
No material goods, lots of cake and
living in the moment: can monks teach
Harry Wallop how to find inner peace?
O
ne thing you do not
expect to discuss
with a 72-year-old
Benedictine monk,
as you stroll around
the peaceful
grounds of
Downside Abbey,
is the merits of different thrash metal
bands he has seen at Glastonbury.
“You haven’t heard of them?” asks
Dom Michael Clothier, genuinely
appalled at my musical ignorance.
“But they are just wonderful.”
He starts enthusing about Black
Dyke, which I presume is a lesbian
grindcore outfit. It turns out they are
a brass band. “Fancy not having heard
of them! They are the oldest colliery
band, older than Grimethorpe.”
Not sapphic thrash then? “Oh no,”
he says, laughing. He laughs a lot, a
sort of rolling chuckle accompanied by
a Kenneth Williams arch of his bushy
eyebrows that makes it hard to discern
when he is being serious.
He is very different from how he
comes across in a forthcoming TV
programme, The Retreat: Meditations
from a Monastery, part of the BBC’s
Mindfulness Special season. If you
thought the mindfulness fad had gone
as tepid as a cup of matcha tea, think
again. It was responsible for the absurd
phenomenon of adult colouring books
and a rash of chanting and bell apps
for your smartwatch. And last month
the American concept of the
“mindfulness triathlon” — run,
meditate, yoga — came to Britain.
Now the BBC is attempting to
co-opt some Benedictine monks to the
cause. The programme blurb gushes
about how we can step behind the
monastery walls “largely unaffected by
changes for over a thousand years . . .
slow down and retreat from the hectic
pace of our own daily lives”. Forget
breathing exercises, chewing a raisin
for five minutes, sitting cross-legged
on a sweaty yoga mat or any of the
other mindfulness exercises we are
encouraged to do. Become a monk.
To see if daily life at Downside really
is as meditative as the Beeb makes out,
I spent a day at the abbey in Somerset.
Admittedly, this is far from the
six-month trial period the abbey insists
you spend shut away from the outside
world as a postulant, or potential
monk. But hey, it’s more than a twominute video of a flower on YouTube.
To give credit to the programme,
it is a rather lovely hour of television
— part of the slow-TV movement,
pioneered in Norway. And unlike the
rather boring canal journey or train
journey programmes that were shown
last year, this one is quite fascinating:
we get to see the daily rituals of the
Downside monks. It makes the abbey
look part posh retirement home, part
weekend away for stressed executives.
We watch Dom Christopher
Calascione bake bread, Dom Leo
Maidlow Davis water the alliums and
Father Michael work as a carpenter,
carefully carving into a wooden prayer
kneeler the final e of “Ask and you
shall receive”. As he says: “I try to live
so that everything I do can be
considered an act of prayer, from
winding a clock to sweeping the
carpentry shop.”
The programme is an hour of almost
complete silence, interrupted only by
the scrape of a chisel, a rubber-soled
pair of shoes walking through the
sacristy (why do the clergy have such
terrible footwear?) or the occasional
Gregorian chant. Yet when I meet
some of the monks, it is in the visitor
centre, which is a drop-in centre for
parishioners combined with a gift
shop, full of carrot cake and noise.
Father Leo, 63, who is the prior
administrator (in charge) of the abbey
insists I have a large slice of cake. This
was not quite the ascetic day I was
expecting. The only sentences of
English heard in the film are Father
Leo reading out the teachings of
St Benedict: “Nothing is so opposed
to Christian values as overeating.”
I ask him to elaborate. “It’s all about
moderation, really,” he says. And what
is a moderate amount of cake? “More
than you have got on your plate,” he
says with a twinkle in his eye.
Later, after attending midday prayer
in the abbey, I join the monks for
lunch. It is an occasion I had expected
to be silent and frugal. But the meal
consists of gammon steak, roast
potatoes, carrots, cauliflower cheese
and gravy followed by a choice of
tiramisu, sponge pudding and custard
or cheese and biscuits with chutney.
the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
3
1GT
ADRIAN SHERRATT FOR THE TIMES
times2
who joined immediately after
Cambridge in 1975, and who laughs:
“I am totally incapable of living
outside any institution.”
One reason for the low numbers
is the paedophile scandal that hit
Downside School five years ago.
Richard White, a monk and teacher
at the school, was jailed for five years
for child sex abuse dating from the
late 1980s. Two former monks
received police cautions relating to
child abuse. Since then school
governance has been beefed up, but
the scandal is unlikely to encourage a
surge of applicants to any monastery.
Those that do want to come need
to make sacrifices, the most prosaic
of which involves monks having no
personal possessions. “You are giving
up mere material for the real thing,”
Father Michael says emphatically.
For him the craze for mindfulness
and colouring books is not a substitute
for the true Benedictine way.
“There are aspects of mindfulness
which are helpful to people, if it
causes them to rest their mind,” he
says. “But if it is devoid of religion it
has lost something.
“A colouring-in book is like taking
a painkiller without thinking about
why you need it. It may solve the
symptoms, but not the cause.” The
cause, in his uncompromising view,
is our “post-Christian society”.
Some of the other monks are
more open to the idea of being
co-opted by the mindfulness
movement. Father Christopher, 83,
is the oldest resident. He weighs
his words carefully. “Everything in
our lives is so fast. We are unhappy
unless we are moving. And a monk’s
training is to slow down and enter
Our lives are so
fast — but a
monk’s training
is to slow down
While conversation was absent,
lunch was far from silent. One of
the monks, sitting on a little raised
platform, first read out the long Latin
grace, followed by the daily gospel,
then a snippet from the teachings
of St Benedict. I presumed that once
these readings were over I would
contemplate my gammon in peace.
But, no. For the remainder of lunch
Father John, a serious-looking
26-year-old, read out chapter eight
of Colin Thubron’s Shadow of the Silk
Road. It was like Radio 4’s Book of the
Week done live. By lunchtime the
monks have attended church four
times, starting with 6am vigils, with a
further two services to go before bed.
There is discipline to every hour of
the day. And all the monks have jobs.
Father Michael is also the parish
priest, so on a Sunday he not only
attends the six services in the abbey
but conducts two of his own in the
village. I ask if he ever has any rest
from the ritual. “The liturgy is
wonderful downtime,” he says.
There is a chance, I warn him,
that some people may see the
film and think monastic life is for
them and rush to apply to join
Downside. “Wouldn’t it be wonderful?
Wonderful! We have space upstairs,”
he says, pointing at the top floor of
the neo-gothic abbey. “There’s only
Brother John there at the moment.”
This is the harsh truth. The abbey
has a mere nine resident monks. It
was 50 or so when Father Michael
joined in 1967, straight out of Oxford
University. He had been a pupil at
the independent co-ed boarding
school that is attached to the
monastery. So too had Father Leo,
Dom Michael Clothier
and, top, Harry Wallop
in Downside Abbey
into what we call the sacrament of
the present moment.”
And is monastic life the answer?
Father Christopher should know. He
joined Downside as a young man, but
then left. “I didn’t have the guts. I failed
at the final jump. I went back to the
family business in Malta.” There, he
made Stork margarine under licence
for Unilever. He returned 24 years ago
and is now the abbey’s chief baker.
“When I left for the first time, I’d
wanted to have a family. I remember
seeing through people’s windows —
families settling around the television,
having tea — and thinking I’d rather
like to do that. But it didn’t happen.”
On the way out I stop by the gift
shop again. It has a small selection of
adult colouring books, printed by
Christian Art Publishers. Be Still is a
strange mix of cupcakes, owls and
verses from the Psalms. The shop
manager, Tamsyn Richardson-Aitken,
40, says: “We sell a few of these.” I
raise my eyebrows. “You know —
whatever keeps you sane. They are for
people who are trying to find a way of
praying that feels less like praying.”
Colouring in a kitten may seem
an infantile path to enlightenment,
but it is certainly less of a commitment
than joining a monastery.
The Retreat: Meditations from
a Monastery will be on BBC Four
at 9pm on October 24, 25 and 26
The lowdown
Taylor Swift
What did the man say when a
blonde pop star walked into his
kebab shop?
Dunno.
Look, it’s ma-doner!
Is that supposed to be funny?
And then the pop star said: “No
it’s not, it’s Taylor Swift.”
I don’t get it.
Clearly you didn’t see the news that
Swift has filmed her latest music
video in a north London kebab
shop called Kentish Delight.
Eh? Isn’t she a megastar? Why
on earth would she do such a
low-budget production?
It’s a tribute to her new boyfriend.
Crikey, is he a bit of a bloater then?
No. Joe Alwyn is a strapping young
lad from north London. An actor.
Went to the City of London School
and the University of Bristol. Fine
stock. I’ve never seen him in
anything, but no doubt we will soon.
What is it with her and English boys
anyway? Tom Hiddleston will be
devastated. It wasn’t so long ago that
she paid tribute to him by sporting
a Barbour and a pair of wellies on
Aldeburgh beach in Suffolk.
Apparently Taylor loves it here, and
she’s been incognito in London a lot
this year. She wanted to film a
typical night out in the city, so she
went to Alwyn’s local pub, then took
a trip on the night bus through
Piccadilly Circus and ended up in
a kebab shop in the early hours.
Is this cultural appropriation?
Should we be outraged?
Chillax! It’s just a bit of fun . . .
OK. Got any more terrible
kebab-based gags to cheer me up?
I thought you’d never ask. What
did the man in the kebab shop say
when Taylor and her entourage
finished their shoot?
Oh, go on then.
It’s a wrap!
Sheesh, that really is bad.
Monique Rivalland
4
1GT
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
times2
Hot men, big swords
and anarchy on
Saturday night TV
The Game of Thrones star Kit Harington is to star in a
drama about the gunpowder plot. Good-looking men in
tunics, lots of violence . . . Sound familiar, asks Andrew Billen
A
whiff of saltpetre
in the air, a plume
of smoke rising
over the privet,
dads wearing hi-vis
jackets in the park
and stage-one sleep
interrupted by
aberrant rockets — the 5th of
November approaches. Over the next
few weeks about £40 million will be
spent on wares that will fizzle out in
a shorter time and give less pleasure
than the average act of congress. And
all this for an arson attack in 1605 that
never actually happened.
This year the BBC is adding a new,
faux-serious dimension to the annual
insanity. For three weeks from
Saturday Casualty will be followed by
a drama called Gunpowder. As with
Peter Kosminsky’s The State about
Isis recruits, viewers’ first impressions
will doubtless be modified as the series
goes on. Episode one, however, is clear
— the leaders of the Papist plot to
blow up Parliament are sexy heroes
and those who are out to thwart such
plots are ugly sadists.
How could it be otherwise, given the
casting? Publicity shots show the chief
conspirators as early incarnations of
the three musketeers. On the left is
Kit Harington as Robert Catesby, aka
the “mastermind”. Dressed in a puffy
shirt, with unruly locks, he gazes
romantically into the middle distance.
Perhaps he is internally composing a
sonnet. In the centre, shaven-headed
Edward Holcroft as Thomas Wintour
has his arms crossed against his chest
— no one gets past him, buster. To
the right stands Tom Cullen as the
plotters’ beer-bellied slice of brawn,
Guy Fawkes himself.
In every sense, though, Catesby is
the first among equals — the coolest,
hottest and sexiest of the plotters.
Harington has
learnt well.
Testosterone TV
is where it’s at
Catesby, the rich owner of Chastleton
House in Oxfordshire is actually a
distant ancestor of Harington. The
young actor, who had long scolded
school pals who regarded Fawkes as
the star of the plot, came up with the
idea for the series three years ago over
a pint with an old mate from drama
school, Daniel West. It did not take
him long to find backers. Mind you,
already three years into playing Jon
Snow in Game of Thrones, Harington
was by then so hot he could probably
have found someone to greenlight a
project about a friend of an uncle who
was a milkman.
“I would have loved it if Catesby had
had short hair,” Harington has said,
“but he didn’t. He had long hair and a
beard, so I wasn’t going to fight against
it.” And so although he says that he
desires to convey fanaticism, his
Catesby carries with him not only Jon
Snow’s haircut, but also his moral heft.
He does, though, keep his kit on — at
least throughout episode one — which
given his form on Thrones was a
surprise. What this Saturday night
treat lacks in sex, however, it makes up
for in violence. In the first hour a
woman is stripped naked on the
scaffold and, prostrate, weighed down
with giant weights until all the breath
is crushed from her. A young priest is
hanged and then, while he is still alive,
eviscerated, his guts spilling snake-like
on to the platform. Harington has
learnt well from Game of Thrones,
which has taught us all one thing —
that men like watching this stuff.
Testosterone TV is where it is at.
There is a famous picture of the real
Catesby, but it is only a sketch of the
conspirators and much of his profile is
covered by his hat. Perhaps he was as
handsome as Harington. Perhaps not.
Compare him, in any case, with Mark
Gatiss, who plays the king’s ruthless
spymaster, Robert Cecil. Cecil was an
extremely short man. Gatiss is a
rather tall one. To compensate, Gatiss
attaches the side of his head to his left
shoulder throughout. The comparison
to Richard III becomes explicit when
Cecil is teased by his king and
confesses: “I am not shaped for tricks.”
This is not the first time that the
devilish conspirators have had all the
best tunics. In Jimmy McGovern’s
Gunpowder, Treason and Plot, a BBC
mini-series in 2004, the Hollywood
star Michael Fassbender played
Fawkes, while Tim McInnerny
(Blackadder’s ludicrous Lord Percy)
was Cecil and Robert “Begbie” Carlyle
was a foot-dragging, limping James.
So at some level, perhaps, we British
are all anarchists, at least in early
Kit Harington as
Robert Catesby, Edward
Holcroft as Thomas
Wintour and Tom
Cullen as Guy Fawkes
in Gunpowder
Gunpowder starts on
Saturday on BBC One
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the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
5
1GT
times2
How much do you
remember about the
5th of November?
So, what was Guy Fawkes’s pseudonym? Test your
knowledge with this quiz by historian Dan Jones
1
Which monarch (along with his
family and ministers) were the
gunpowder plotters attempting
to kill, and why?
a) James VI and I for intolerance
towards Catholics
b) Henry VIII for intolerance
towards wives
c) William the Conqueror for
intolerance towards Harold Godwinson
2
Which London landmark
did they aim to destroy?
a) St Paul’s Cathedral
b) The Palace of Westminster
c) The Shard
3
November. Officially we celebrate the
defeat of a plot against Parliament.
Psychologically we burnish the
memory of a man who wanted to
shove it to the country’s rulers.
It would be impertinent to presume
to know the deeper motives of the
makers of the new Gunpowder. Their
stated aim in telling the story from the
conspirators’ viewpoint is to make us
understand their desperation, born of
suppression under an anti-Catholic
tyranny. Perhaps Christopher Catesby
Harington, in the midst of his fame,
also fell a little in love with his middle
name. Perhaps the dramatist Ronan
Bennett, brought up in Northern
Ireland by devout Catholics, recalled
his 18 months wrongly imprisoned for
the murder of an RUC man that he
did not commit. I cannot tell you
Catesby is the
coolest, hottest
and sexiest of
the plotters
because Bennett would not speak to
me on the grounds that it was the
drama, not its author, that mattered.
Episode one, let us just say, depicts
Catesby as a devout widower driven
to violence after the obscenely violent
executions of his relatives in 1603. In
fact, Catesby had been implicated in
a 1601 rebellion led by the Earl of
Essex against Elizabeth I and had then
tried to persuade Philip III of Spain
to back a rebellion to block James I’s
accession. Executions against Catholic
worshippers certainly happened
during this period, but — after the
hanging and disembowelling of the
Jesuit priest Robert Southwell in 1595
— they had sharply declined. King
James had a Catholic wife and
probably wanted to heal the religious
split in his new country. If he became
paranoid, there was a reason —
in 1603 two plots against him had
been thwarted. After the gunpowder
plot was uncovered there was,
counterintuitively, only a muted
crackdown on Catholics. If it achieved
anything, many historians agree, it was
to delay the possibility of tolerance
towards a religious minority.
Had the gunpowder gone off,
however, the consequences would
have been hellish. Parliament would
have been utterly destroyed and the
king, chancellor, senior clergy and
judges killed. The historian David
Starkey has called it the British 9/11
that never happened. It is highly
unlikely that Catesby’s plan to put
James’s daughter, nine-year-old
Elizabeth, on the throne would
have succeeded. Much more likely
is that there would have been a state
massacre of Catholics in England.
Justin Pollard, who acted as the
historical consultant to an ITV show
examining the plot in 2005, concluded
that it was a stupid plan. “You can’t
change the politics of a country just
by blowing up a few hundred people.”
Much as its creators would wish
us to, it would be unwise, however,
to take Gunpowder too seriously. The
opening scene, in which a Catholic
Mass is raided and the priest hides,
goes on for so long that by the end
I was shouting at the screen: “He’s
behind the wallpaper by the window.”
Anyone who reads across
Gunpowder to modern terrorists and
their motives should adopt extreme
caution. It is just a little curious that it
is being transmitted only a few months
after a murderous terrorist assault on
our present Houses of Parliament.
Let us hope that Harington in his
striking leathers does not turn too
many heads this silly season.
Which adult-movie style
pseudonym did Guy Fawkes
assume during preparations
for the attack?
a) Jack Hardwood
b) Longrod Von Hungedong
c) John Johnson
4
The gunpowder plotters favoured
a tall, wide-brimmed hat of the
sort now sometimes worn by
Pharrell Williams. What was it called?
a) Plotters’ bonnet
b) Pimpe hatte
c) Capotain
5
After discovery on November 5,
1605, the plotters were tortured,
tried and sentenced to:
a) Hanging, drawing and quartering
b) Transportation to the colony
of Virginia
c) Penal servitude in
a firework workshop
6
Complete the
17th-century rhyme
commemorating the
events of 1605. “Remember,
remember, the 5th of
November: gunpowder . . .”
a) “. . . didn’t go off”
b) “. . . treason and plot”
c) “. . . gets rather hot”
7
The new BBC drama
Gunpowder stars
the furrow-browed,
handbag-sized
dreamboat Kit
Harington as the chief
conspirator, Robert
Catesby. Who does
Harington play in
Game of Thrones?
a) Furrow-browed,
handbag-sized
dreamboat Jon Snow
b) Furrow-browed,
handbag-sized
dreamboat Robb
Stark
c) Furrow-browed,
non-handbag-sized,
undead wight
dragon Viserion
Derek Riddell as King
James I and, below,
Liv Tyler as Anne
Vaux in Gunpowder
8
Which East Sussex town, popular
with liberal snowflake London
commuters, hosts raucous Bonfire
Night parades famous for burning
celebrity effigies and perpetuating
vigorous anti-Catholic sentiment?
a) Brighton
b) Lewes
c) Bigotry-by-Sea
9
November 5 is doubly significant
in British royal and religious
history, since it was also the
date when:
a) William of Orange landed in Devon,
starting the Glorious Revolution (1688)
b) George IV’s government passed the
Catholic emancipation act (1829)
c) Prince Philip asked the
Scottish Tory leader Annabel
Goldie if she wore
tartan knickers to meet
the Pope (2010)
Answers
1A, 2B, 3C, 4C, 5A, 6B, 7A,
8B, 9A
How did you do?
7-9 Big bang
You are a gunpowder
mastermind, your mental
pyrotechnics amounting
to near-criminal genius.
Access to parliament:
revoked.
4-6 Brief flurry
Solid but unspectacular:
like the ringleaders in 1605,
you got most of the way,
but failed to light the
blue touch paper.
0-3 Damp squib
Must try harder.
The saltpetre of your
mind is, like that
used by the
gunpowder
plotters, decayed.
6
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
1GT
body&soul
Don’t
Most people are pleased to get a new
hip, but it’s worth doing some research
Dr Mark Porter
T
om Jones has been
pictured walking
with a stick after
reportedly receiving
a new hip. The singer’s
cheerful demeanour
in the photographs
suggests that he is
happy with the result, as are most
people who undergo the operation.
Hip replacement is a very successful
procedure — 101,651 people in the
UK underwent it last year and it is
second only to cataract surgery in
terms of patient satisfaction. However,
the latest report from the National
Joint Registry (NJR) shows significant
variation depending on who has
what type of prosthesis put in and
when. And if you are struggling with
a painful hip, it pays to do some
research to ensure that you get the
best available.
Revision rates — the proportion of
people who need another operation on
the same joint — is the main way that
success is measured. And the NJR
report reveals some interesting
differences. Ceramic-on-polythene
hips (a ceramic ball and a polythene
cup or bearing) come out best, with
the lowest revision rate at 3.8 per cent
(1 in 26) by 13 years, with metal-onpolythene implants a close second.
At the other end of the spectrum
metal-on-metal hips (as used in
“resurfacing”) had revision/failure
rates as high as 27 per cent at 10 years
for the worst type, and 8 to 9 nine per
cent for the very best. It was once the
go-to prosthesis for younger, more
active patients, but concerns about
premature failure and side-effects
from metal ions leaching out of the
joints has resulted in a spectacular fall
from grace. In 2003, when the NJR
opened, resurfacing accounted for
about 10 per cent of operations; today
that proportion is just 1 per cent.
The size of the ball used in the
various types appears to make a
difference too, with higher revision
rates for implants that have a larger
diameter (more than 36mm). And
fixing the implant with cement seems
to improve longevity (not all types
require cement).
Age is an important factor, not least
because younger patients tend to be
more active and put their new hip
under more strain. Nothing lasts for
ever and if you have a replacement
joint in your forties then you should
expect to need at least one more
before you are past caring.
Joint replacements:
the facts
0 More than 2 million joint
replacements have been recorded
since the UK National Joint Registry
started in 2003
0 At 108,713 procedures in 2016,
knee replacement/resurfacing
just pips hips as the most
common procedure
0 Advances in other types of joint
replacement have led to an increase
in shoulder replacements (nearly
7,000), elbows (722), and ankles (839)
0 You can download a free copy of
the latest report comparing the
various types of implant at
njrcentre.org.uk
At 77, Jones is nine years older than
the average man in the UK for having
a new hip (68 for men and 70 for
women), and based on age alone he
can expect to have a 1 in 20 chance of
needing further surgery within the
next 13 years. However, for a woman
under the age of 55 the revision rate
increases to 1 in 10. This is one reason
that surgeons prefer to delay surgery
for as long as the patient can bear: the
older you are when it is put in, the
longer it is likely to last.
Age isn’t the only patient factor that
can affect outcomes. Slim, fit and
strong patients are likely to fare better
after joint-replacement surgery,
particularly of the knee, where the
thigh muscles play an important role
in stability. Yet often, due to a
combination of advancing years and
pain, many patients are not as light or
strong as they could be. The average
body mass index of patients in 2016
was 29 for hip replacements and 31 for
knees (where 25 to 30 is overweight
and over 30 obese).
Last, and definitely not least, the
better the surgeon the better the
outcome. You can ask your specialist
about their individual performance
data, but I would caution against
asking for a particular prosthesis over
another. Or, to put it another way, if
my surgeon advised a metal-on-plastic
hip I wouldn’t push for a ceramic-onplastic one because revision rates are
slightly better. Good surgeons get the
best results by employing a technique
with which they are familiar and, with
the exception of metal-on-metal
implants, which I would avoid, I feel
this outweighs prosthesis choice.
Most people recover quickly from
surgery, albeit more slowly for knees
than hips, and serious complications
are rare, but include fracture,
dislocation, infection and blood clots.
However, the frequency of “untoward
events” in a good unit should be 1 per
cent or lower, according to the NJR.
QA
I am troubled by
acne rosacea —
persistent redness
and spots on my
face. My GP
prescribed a course
of antibiotics. Are
there long-term
alternatives?
Yes. Acne rosacea is
common in middle-age
women, and it can
have an impact on
psychological wellbeing.
Severe cases often
require antibiotics, but
once you gain control
there are a number of
topical alternatives,
including brimonidine,
antibiotic gel
(metronidazole), and
azelaic acid. Another
recent development is
based on the theory
that the inflammation
associated with acne
rosacea is triggered
by mites (demodex)
living on the skin, and
ivermectin cream (an
anti-parasite agent) has
been shown to help.
Persistent cases
should be referred to
a dermatologist. For
more advice, visit the
rosacea section of
patient.info
If you have a health
problem, email
drmarkporter
@thetimes.co.uk
It is not true that
all women turn
into ‘menstrual
monsters’, a health
psychologist tells
Barbara McMahon
T
he idea that a woman’s
reproductive system
is responsible for
her emotional state
has been around
since the time of the
ancient Greeks and
remains entrenched
in society. Feeling moody? It’s your
hormones, you crazy witch.
In the days leading up to her
menstrual cycle, we have been told,
a woman finds herself on the
hormonal rollercoaster known as
pre-menstrual syndrome, or PMS,
and is turned into an irritable and
irrational she-devil. Yet the notion
that all women become menstrual
monsters at their time of the month
is not true, says the health
psychologist Robyn Stein DeLuca in
her new book, The Hormone Myth:
How Junk Science, Gender Politics and
Lies about PMS Keep Women Down.
Reproductive hormones can cause
physical and emotional symptoms,
but not mental disorders, she says.
Considering that on any given day
800 million girls and women
worldwide have their periods, it would
mean that there are a whole lot of
unhinged and incapacitated females
out there. “Most women are very
high-functioning most of the time,”
DeLuca points out.
The PMS myth flourishes because
society is invested financially,
emotionally and ideologically in
maintaining it, DeLuca says. She
believes that treating PMS has
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the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
7
1GT
body&soul
fall for the myth of PMS
GETTY IMAGES
become a thriving and profitable
industry. “Amazon currently offers
more than a thousand books on
dealing with PMS and women are
encouraged to buy a ton of products
to treat it.”
Some women, perhaps
unconsciously, view PMS as a
permission slip to let loose every now
and then. “It allows them to take off
their good-woman crown and take a
temporary trip outside of acceptable
feminine behaviour,” she explains.
Then there is the gender blame
game. “The myth is built on the idea
that women are inferior to men
because their emotions make them
unpredictable and unreliable.”
A research assistant professor of
psychology at Stony Brook University
in New York and the mother of two
adult daughters, DeLuca specialises
in how beliefs and attitudes relate
to health and wellness. She is an
ardent supporter of women and the
issues they face, and has taught
courses on health, gender and
reproduction and published research
on postpartum depression and
childbirth satisfaction. Her TED talk
The Good News About PMS has had
more than a million views and has
been translated into 22 languages.
In her book DeLuca gives a potted
history of PMS. The phrase
“premenstrual tension” was invented
in 1931 in the US. The concept was
picked up in the 1950s by Katharina
Dalton, an English doctor, who coined
the term premenstrual syndrome, or
PMS, and who advocated using
natural progesterone to treat it.
The idea of PMS as a debilitating
disorder that every woman had to
endure took root over the next four
decades and came to be accepted by
the medical profession. However,
scientific research on PMS carried
out from the 1960s to the 1990s was
flawed, DeLuca suggests.
In studies women were asked to
describe their emotions leading up
to a single menstrual cycle, instead
of at least two cycles, which might
prove a pattern. They were asked
to describe their symptoms
retrospectively, relying on memory,
which often leads to inadvertent
exaggeration. Researchers used
different yardsticks, resulting in no
consistency of criteria or diagnosis.
There are 150 symptoms of PMS,
including mood swings, irritability,
abdominal cramping or bloating,
weight gain, changes in concentration,
skin changes and sleep disturbance.
“When psychologists come up with
a disorder that’s defined so vaguely,
the label becomes meaningless,”
DeLuca says over mint tea in a café in
Manhattan. “With such a wide range
of symptoms, I could have PMS, you
could have PMS, my husband and my
dog could have PMS.”
Surely many women do have these
physical and emotional symptoms in
the two weeks leading up to their
periods. “Our hormones cause some
physical and emotional symptoms,”
she agrees, “but it’s not a mental
disorder. A minority of women —
about 8 per cent — do have hormone
fluctuations that cause serious
trouble, and they should certainly
be validated and treated.”
believes. “Some women don’t want me
to take away their PMS,” DeLuca says,
laughing. “I’ve had plenty of women
say, ‘Oh, I guess I can’t use it as an
excuse any more.’ They know that
being angry is not going to go over
well at home or in work and this is an
excuse that works.”
Raging hormones are inadvertently
used by many women to take time
out. “They use it to back away from
being emotionally available to
everyone in their family, to step away
temporarily from holding everything
together. And all that tells me is that
these women need a break,” DeLuca
says. “It’s a shame that we need to
chalk it up to a hormonal disorder in
order to get that break.”
Fluctuating hormones are also said
to be responsible for “brain fog”
during pregnancy, but there is little
evidence of this, according to The
Hormone Myth. “Studies that look
at cognitive functioning during
pregnancy show no difference, or
very, very small differences between
pregnant and non-pregnant women,”
DeLuca says. “It’s much more
probable that her feelings are caused
by being overwhelmed or stress, such
as a workplace that has an inflexible
Such are the
symptoms, my
husband and dog
could have PMS
From the minute a girl gets her first
period, she is bombarded with negative
messages that can affect her future
health, sexuality and self-esteem,
DeLuca says. Although it shows that
our bodies are working as they should,
menstruation is an embarrassment
that must be hidden, which is why
many women use euphemisms such as
“my friend is here” or “the painters are
in” or “the curse.”
Jokes about menstruation portray
women as unstable and out of control
for part of every month. “What’s the
difference between a woman with
PMS and a terrorist? You can
negotiate with a terrorist,” is a typical
one. When one of DeLuca’s daughters
was 14 and in a biology class, the
male teacher described PMS as Poor
Man Syndrome. “I wanted to scream,”
DeLuca says.
DeLuca says that men often like
to portray themselves as victims of
their partner’s monthly moods, asking,
“Is it the time of the month?” when
a woman vents about something.
“It plays into the theme of women
being humoured and excused and
patronised,” she says.
The Hormone Myth:
How Junk Science,
Gender Politics and
Lies About PMS
Keep Women Down
by Robyn Stein DeLuca
is published by New
Harbinger, £12.99
When a woman’s mood or her anger
is attributed to PMS rather than the
situation she is responding to, the
opportunity for honest dialogue is lost,
whether in the home or at work,
DeLuca says in her book. “Men don’t
have to do the complicated work of
communication and negotiation and
a woman’s feelings are conveniently
invalidated and ignored.”
The hormone myth puts women at
a disadvantage in the workplace.
When a man is angry, it is assumed
there must be a good reason, but a
woman’s anger is written as biological
and therefore irrational, diminishing
her power and her standing.
“I think at the highest levels of
business and government there are
still stereotypes that women are
weaker than men, they’re not as
smart and they don’t have the
toughness to do the job,” DeLuca
says. “There’s an assumption that
there’s always going to be this
vulnerability because of women’s
reproductive processes, and the PMS
myth contributes to that.”
Sweeping emotions under the rug of
PMS does women no favours, she
attitude towards pregnancy or the
fact that she’s not getting enough
support at home.”
During the menopause, when
women’s levels of oestrogen and
progesterone go down, it is wrongly
assumed that they will lose their
vitality and become depressed.
DeLuca quotes a line from the
television series Sex and the City
when Samantha suspects she is
entering the menopause: “I’m day-old
bread and my time is up.”
“Menopause is a normal stage of life
and most women are thrilled with the
freedoms it brings,” DeLuca says.
Women need to fight the hormone
myth, she says, by not rushing to
attribute our feelings of anger to our
hormones. “It’s much more probable
that something else is the cause, and
we cannot move forward in our lives
unless we address what upsets us.”
We should tell our female friends
that there is convincing research that
hormones don’t affect the emotions in
the way that they may have been told.
Girls should be taught that the physical
changes of their menstrual cycle will
not turn them into raving loons. Boys
also need accurate information about
female bodies and emotions.
“If women think for the whole of
their lives that their concerns are
‘all in their head’, that gets to the core
of their confidence,” DeLuca says.
“We need to allow women to express
their anger, to own it and to appreciate
that it points out what’s wrong in a
situation. We need to ditch the image
of the PMS-ing bitch because
it simply isn’t true to life.”
8
1GT
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
arts
On your Marx, get set . . .
Rory Kinnear opens
London’s newest theatre
Between Bond films, sitcoms and opera, the actor is launching a new
venue by playing the founder of communism, he tells Dominic Maxwell
W
ho would
have
thought a
young Karl
Marx would
be so
ordinarylooking?
Black trousers, blue sweatshirt, a
receding hairline and friendly round
face with features oddly familiar from
dozens of plays and television shows
and three James Bond films.
As I wait for the father of
communism to finish his morning
rehearsals — OK, what I mean is I’m
waiting to interview the actor Rory
Kinnear — I’m reading a Times article
about the Ashes. Then Kinnear arrives
and instigates a brief chat about the
cricket: he lives just near the Oval in
south London and pops in to see
Surrey play whenever he has a
spare few moments. His other hobbies,
he says, when he is not spending
time with his wife, the actress
Pandora Colin, or looking after their
seven-year-old son and three-year-old
daughter, include classical music and
opera. If this is Marx, this is very
much Marx on his lunch break.
Rory Kinnear, right,
in the 2015 James
Bond film Spectre
with Daniel Craig
Yet if Kinnear, 39, doesn’t
immediately suggest himself as the
man who wrote Das Kapital, experience
suggests that once he gets on stage an
extraordinary transformation will take
place. Nicholas Hytner has cast him in
the title role of Young Marx, the play
that is opening his new £12 million
theatre, the Bridge in south London.
Kinnear, Hytner suggested the other
week, is the only actor “who is as clever
as Marx”. As, presumably, he was the
only actor who was as conflicted as
Hamlet (in 2010) or as embittered as
Iago (in 2013) in two of his big
successes with Hytner at the National
Theatre. Hytner’s successor as artistic
director of the National, Rufus Norris,
must have concluded that Kinnear was
the only actor who was as nasty as
Macheath when last year he cast him
in his revival of the Brecht-Weill
musical The Threepenny Opera.
That show ended last October. Since
then Kinnear has starred in two
sitcoms (playing an 18th-century
doctor opposite Rupert Everett in
Quacks and Michael, the straight man
for Count Arthur Strong in the third
series of the BBC sitcom of the same
name) and directed his first opera (The
Winter’s Tale at the Coliseum). He
doesn’t suffer from too many fallow
periods, he admits. Yet though telly
and film are more lucrative, and
directing the opera was a big
adventure, he hates to be away from
stage work for long. “If 18 months go
by and I haven’t done a play I feel like
I’m not an actor any more.”
He didn’t take much persuading to
work with Hytner for the fifth time.
It’s a new play by Richard Bean, whose
smash hit One Man, Two Guvnors was
also directed by Hytner, and Clive
Coleman. And it’s the curtain-raiser
on a risky, high-profile endeavour: the
first entirely new, strictly commercial
theatre to open in central London
since the 1930s. Hytner and his
co-proprietor, Nick Starr, have a more
dependable title, Julius Caesar, starring
Ben Whishaw and David Morrissey,
for their second show.
This, though, is the farcical story
of a 32-year-old Marx in London in
1850. He’s out on the razz in Soho.
His children are ill. He is spatting
with his fellow German political
refugees about just how to play this
whole “revolution” business. He
has impregnated a housekeeper,
although his wingman Friedrich
Engels (played here by Oliver Chris)
agrees to take responsibility.
“By and large everything that
happens in the play did happen,” says
Kinnear, who has read up on the
period. Now and then he would say to
the playwrights: “I know this didn’t
happen in this particular way, are you
bothered by that?” Are they?
“Sometimes they are and sometimes
they aren’t.” Ask him to go much
deeper into how he gets his results,
though, and the man who will be
every bit as convincing as Lord Lucan
(in Lucan) as he is as Denis Thatcher
(The Long Walk to Finchley), the actor
who can make you believe in
Frankenstein’s monster (Penny
Dreadful) and a prime minister
pressured into having sex with a pig
on live television (Black Mirror) will
play a straight bat. “I like to know
what a character is doing and what a
character is talking about,” he says.
“With all acting, though, it’s instinct
and imagination.”
Aha. Still, it’s nice to be back in
a rehearsal room with Hytner. “I
consider him a friend,” Kinnear
says. “With other people we might
be more circuitous, but we are usually
quite straight to the point with each
other. And despite the fact that Nick
is opening a new theatre, he has
probably got slightly fewer decisions
to make each day than when he was
running the National.”
Hytner took Kinnear to the site by
the Thames near Tower Bridge a few
years ago when there was nothing
there, again six months ago, then at
the start of rehearsals a few weeks
ago. “Through that time I have seen
a theatre materialise from nothing,
but you won’t know how it plays till
you get there.”
Next year Kinnear returns to the
National to play the title role in
Macbeth (and, yes, you can use the
word — “I’m out and proud, no
‘Scottish play’, don’t worry”) for
Norris, opposite Anne-Marie Duff
as Lady Macbeth. He can’t wait, he
says. He loves the “psychological
acuity” of a play that he thinks is
often more thrilling to read than
it is to see on stage. He hopes to
change that.
If Kinnear pulls off the double of
having extraordinary focus and flair
when working and an apparently
phlegmatic attitude to the business, he
suggests that a lot of that can be put
down to his background. His father
was Roy Kinnear, the comedy actor
who died in 1988, when Rory was ten,
after falling from a horse during
the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
1GT
9
RM
CHRIS MCANDREW FOR THE TIMES
arts
the filming of The Return of the
Musketeers in Spain. His mother, the
actress Carmel Cryan, played Brenda
Boyle in EastEnders a decade ago. She
worked less for a while after Roy’s
death, concentrating on bringing up
Rory and his older sisters, Kirsty (now
a casting director) and Karina, who
was born with cerebral palsy and lives
in the Roy Kinnear House care home
in Twickenham.
“My dad wasn’t really into the
showbiz life and nor am I,” Kinnear
says. “And to have early bereavement
and grow up with someone who is a
glowing life force but at the same time
needs 24-hour care, you are never
going to get too carried away with
the frivolity of it all. It gives you
perspective from an early age.”
His acting won him early praise,
at school (St Paul’s in London) and
university (Balliol College, Oxford).
It was only when he went to the
London Academy of Music and
Dramatic Art that he abandoned
thoughts of a life outside acting. “I
realised it’s as rewarding as you make
it. And if you put in the time and
the ideas and the imagination you
get rewarded more for the
performance it provokes.”
He says that having parents in
the business means he knew that
real people did this work. “People ask
if I had a leg-up from having a
famous dad. I can’t answer for anyone
else’s thoughts when giving me a job,
but I think the chief leg-up is you
realise it is viable. It’s a job like anyone
else’s, and you can bring up a family
on it if you’re lucky.”
Kinnear has a gift for comedy, yet
unlike his father he is at least as well
known for his serious work. “I don’t
think that was deliberate. But I guess
in the back of my mind I thought, ‘Oh,
Entertainments
%
The Bridge Theatre
auditorium and, below,
Kinnear as Karl Marx
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don’t let people think, here comes
another funny Kinnear.’ And to be
honest my dad was great at both, but
because he was short and fat and bald
people cast him in the funny parts.
Because I am a bit taller and a bit
thinner maybe people have let me get
away with it.”
What next for Kinnear? He has
appeared in the last three of Daniel
Craig’s James Bond adventures as
M’s chief flunky Bill Tanner, but it’s
two years till the next one is released.
“Each film they make they say yay or
nay. But it’s been great fun, and an
utterly unexpected element of my
life. I don’t know if I am in the next
one, and I never have done until they
give you the call.”
And this, even when you are as
clever as Karl Marx, is an actor’s lot.
He found out that Count Arthur Strong
was cancelled when its co-writer
Graham Linehan gave him a call. He is
waiting for anther call to hear if there
will be a second series of Quacks. He
hopes so. “It was a jolly one.”
He’d like to do more writing.
His first play, The Herd, was well
received when it appeared in London
in 2013, and one of the happiest times
of his career was when he flew to
Chicago in 2015 to watch a new
production by Steppenwolf Theatre.
He has the idea for what he will write
next, he says, it’s just a question of
getting on with it. “I hope to do
more,” he says, getting ready to
reassume that German accent for the
afternoon’s rehearsals. “I don’t want it
to remain ‘The Collected Play’.”
Young Marx is at the Bridge
Theatre, London SE1 (0843
2081846), from tomorrow
to December 31. It will be
broadcast live to cinemas on
December 7 (ntlive.com)
10
1GT
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
television & radio
George bares his soul from beyond the grave
MICHAEL PUTLAND/GETTY IMAGES
Gabriel Tate
TV review
George Michael: Freedom
Channel 4
{{{{(
Abortion on Trial
BBC Two
{{{{(
‘W
hen he does
up-tempo it’s full
of joy, and when he
does sorrow . . . you
can hear the pain.”
There was plenty of both in George
Michael: Freedom, an autobiography
cum obituary by and about the
musician. Exhilarating, tragic,
pompous, self-effacing, touching,
silly, relatable, generous, introspective,
wide-ranging and intimate, it was as
compelling and contradictory as the
man at its heart, tracing his journey
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Planks and a Passion
Radio 4, 11.30am
There is a saying, this
programme on Nicholas
Hytner’s new theatre tells
us, that all you need for a
theatre is “two planks and
a passion”. Is there a similar
saying in radio? All you need
is a wryly self-deprecating
title, perhaps? Publishing is
certainly awash with them.
It’s All News to Me (Jeremy
Vine). That’s Another Story
(Julie Walters). And the
favourite: Trowel and
Error (Alan Titchmarsh).
Libby Purves looks at the
theatre’s creation.
Simon Mayo
Radio 2, 5pm
Those who write about
other people’s lives in the
20th century have had it
easy. The great upheaval
of the Second World War
created lives that were
instantly fascinating. Even
in its aftermath, national
service meant that people
— such as the mountaineer
Chris Bonington — had
a tiny taste of that high
drama. He did national
service at 18, then in 1957
was posted to Germany
where he discovered the
Alps. As his new book,
Ascent, is launched he talks
to Simon Mayo about his
childhood and the start of
that love affair with hills.
from the superior teenybop of Wham!
to serious solo stardom as he wrenched
perfect pop out of personal pain.
It embraced hagiography at times,
as a parade of famous faces — Stevie,
Liam, Elton (who provided that
quote) — hailed his genius. This
cavalcade of praise would have been
intolerable had there not also been
ample evidence of Michael’s penchant
for self-parody and self-criticism.
He was also, at his best, undoubtedly
touched by genius. The solo albums
covered did mean the Wham! years
were rushed and the final years of
creative stasis and substance abuse
virtually ignored. Yet they showcased
a rare, versatile talent that belied
Michael’s rampant insecurities.
The star was breathtakingly candid
about these, baring his soul over the
personal and artistic crises of the
1990s, when he lost his lover, then
mother, then musical muse. His
unforgettable take on Somebody to
Love at the Freddie Mercury concert
was, he explained, from a closeted
gay man to his dying lover, in front
of an audience of millions. How
could anyone make sense of that?
Asked how he would like to be
remembered, he replied with a bashful
hubris that felt very Georgian. “Great
songwriter. And . . . as someone who
had some kind of integrity.” Then the
good-humoured sucker punch. “Very
unlikely. I think it’s all been a waste of
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.33am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg James
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James 7.00 Annie
Mac 9.00 BBC Radio 1 & 1Xtra’s Stories:
Extreme Festivals — The Japanese Naked
Man Festival 10.02 Huw Stephens 1.00am
Annie Nightingale 4.00 Jordan North
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Paddy O’Connell 2.00pm Steve Wright
5.00 Simon Mayo. Chris Bonington discusses
his memoir Ascent. See Radio Choice
7.00 Jamie Cullum 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00
Bruce Springsteen: Long Walk Home. (1/2)
The celebrated musician narrates the story of
his life 11.00 Nigel Ogden: The Organist
Entertains. Jazz music performed on organ
11.30 Listen to the Band. Highlights from
the National Brass Band Championships
in London 12.00 Sounds of the 80s (r)
2.00am Radio 2’s Folk Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: 90s Hits 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Wednesday Workout 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
Suzy Klein’s guest is the actor, director
and playwright Kwame Kwei-Armah
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Puccini (1858-1924)
Donald Macleod, in conversation with Sir
Antonio Pappano, traces the developmental
line of Puccini’s meticulously crafted
dramatic heroines. Today they discuss
Puccini’s vivid evocation of student life, La
Bohème, and the characters of the fragile
embroiderer, Mimì and the flamboyant
Musetta. Puccini (Mi chiamano Mimì —
La Bohème; Musetta’s Waltz —
La Bohème; and Act 3 — La Bohème)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Andreas Staier plays at Warsaw’s Chopin and
his Europe Festival. Played on an 1849 Erard
piano of Chopin’s era, Andreas Staier’s recital
gives us an insight as to how the music of
the past might have been heard by Chopin
and his contemporaries. Chopin (Four
Mazurkas, Op 17); Bach (French Suite No 1
in D minor, BWV812); Mozart (Suite in C,
K399); and Chopin (Four Mazurkas, Op 24)
George Michael wrenched perfect pop out of personal pain
2.00 Afternoon Concert
A week of performances and recordings
by the BBC National Orchestra of Wales,
continuing with a concert the orchestra
gave a fortnight ago at the University of
Worcester Arena. Britten (Young Person’s
Guide to the Orchestra, Op 34); Bruch
(Violin Concerto No 1 in G minor, Op 26);
Dvorák (Symphony No 9 — From the New
World); Saint-Saëns (Le Rouet d’Omphale
— symphonic poem, Op 31); Chadwick
(Symphonic Sketches — Suite in A);
and Elgar (Variations on an
Original Theme, Op 36 — Enigma)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty’s guests include the pianist
Angela Hewitt, who performs live in the
studio. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
Shostakovich, Gounod and Hess
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Stuart Flinders presents a concert given by
the Hallé, the clarinettist Sergio Castello
Lopez and the conductor Sir Mark Elder,
live from the Royal Concert Hall, Nottingham.
Ravel (Rapsodie Espagnole); Debussy
(Rhapsodie for clarinet and orchestra);
Ravel (Bolero); and Mussorgsky
orch Ravel (Pictures at an Exhibition)
10.00 Free Thinking
Alex Clark talks to Philip Dodd from the
Booker Prize ceremonies at London’s
Guildhall. The shortlist includes: 4 3 2 1 by
Paul Auster, History of Wolve s by Emily
Fridlund, Exit West by Mohsin Hamid, Elmet
by Fiona Mozley, Lincoln in the Bardo by
George Saunders and Autumn by Ali Smith
10.45 The Essay: Stories That Sing
In an attempt to demystify this huge and
multifaceted genre, five creative individuals
examine their own encounters with opera.
These personal essays reveal the variety of
ways in which opera can seduce, fascinate,
baffle, frustrate and excite. In the second
essay in the series, the academic and
novelist Patricia Duncker examines the
dangerous and seductive ways in which
opera can overwhelm the senses.
In particular she discusses the power of
Benjamin Britten’s Death in Venice
11.00 Late Junction
Verity Sharp heads to the edgelands of
Lincolnshire for a special programme
recorded at home with one of the most
distinctive voices in British songwriting,
Robert Wyatt. A pivotal figure in the
alternative music scene of the last 50 years,
Wyatt has had a profound influence
on the history of British music
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
With John Humphrys and Sarah Montague
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 The Life Scientific
Professor Tim Birkhead talks to Jim Al Khalili
about studying promiscuity in birds (5/7)
9.30 One to One
Trevor Nelson explores what it is
like having half-siblings (5/7)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 15 Minute Drama:
Ten Days That Shook the World
By John Reed (7/10)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
With Jane Garvey. Including at 10.45 Book
of the Week: The comedian Sarah Millican
reads the second extract from her
autobiography How to Be Champion
11.00 Natural Histories
How the venerable, ancient turtle
has influenced human culture
11.30 Planks and a Passion
Libby Purves follows the story of the Bridge,
London’s ambitious newly built theatre in the
shadow of Tower Bridge. See Radio Choice
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 50 Things That
Made the Modern Economy
Examining the property register (12/15)
12.15 Call You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 How to Have a Better Brain
A practical guide to boosting brain power at
every age, with Sian Williams (2/5) (r)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: The Gold Killing
(2/2) By Paul Sellar. Concluding part of the
thriller in which a businessman gets more
than he bargained for when he invests in
a goldmine. Robert Glenister stars (r)
3.00 The Kitchen Cabinet
A culinary question-and-answers session at
Pangbourne College in Berkshire (3/6) (r)
3.30 Costing the Earth
Tom Heap lifts the lid on recycling
4.00 Word of Mouth
Michael Rosen talks to Steve Jones
about language and our genes (6/7)
4.30 A Good Read
Owen Jones and Georgia LA discuss
their favourite books (3/9)
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
time.” Freedom indicated otherwise:
his was a life too short, but well lived.
It might sound depressing to
contemplate reopening the debate on
abortion, but with the public imposition
of moral puritanism approaching
epidemic proportions, Abortion on
Trial felt timely and valuable.
Adopting a similar gimmick to
Muslims Like Us, it sent eight women
who had had abortions, along with a
man whose partner had, into a house
to discuss a subject that remains
charged and unavoidably coloured by
personal experience. No one could
hear these testimonies and consider
abortion an easy option, lightly taken.
Unlike Muslims Like Us, the lunatic
fringe wasn’t allowed to dominate
discussions. The host Anne Robinson
proved an unlikely mediator, teasing
out personal stories, discussing for
the first time her youthful abortion
and challenging Lee, a depressingly
boneheaded representative of my
sex. Calling for a judging panel to
have the final say in a dispute between
partners, he cried “equality” before
presumably going off to tweet angrily
about International Men’s Day.
Otherwise, this was admirably
sober and sensitive, highlighting
shades of grey of an issue generally
painted in black and white. Above all,
it underlined that a woman’s right to
choose should remain sacrosanct in
any democracy worth the name.
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Tim Vine Chat Show
The series concludes in Greenwich (6/6)
7.00 The Archers
Tony is put in an awkward position
7.15 Front Row
With Stig Abell
7.45 15 Minute Drama:
Ten Days That Shook the World
By John Reed (7/10)
8.00 File on 4
A report on what went wrong with the
Kevin Nunes murder investigation (6/10)
8.40 In Touch
9.00 Inside Health
With Dr Mark Porter (5/6)
9.30 The Life Scientific (5/7) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Chris Mason
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Ian Rankin
— The Deathwatch Journal
Crime serial, read by Jimmy Chisholm (2/5)
11.00 Fred at the Stand
Some of the UK’s leading stand-up
comedians, recorded In Edinburgh (1/6)
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
How to Be Champion (2/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
10.30 Tim FitzHigham: The Gambler. The
comedian tries to win a series of wagers
10.55 The Comedy Club Interview. A chat
with a guest from the world of comedy
11.00 Alun Cochrane’s Fun House 11.30
The Shuttleworths 11.45 Hamish and
Dougal: You’ll Have Had Your Tea
Radio 4 Extra
6 Music
Digital only
8.00am Listen to Les 8.30 The Men from
the Ministry 9.00 The News Quiz Extra 9.45
Paperback Hell 10.00 The Tin Drum 11.00
Home Sweet Home 11.15 Unauthorised
History: The Killing 12.00 Listen to Les
12.30pm The Men from the Ministry 1.00
You Came Back 1.30 Hearing Ragas 2.00
Jane Eyre 2.15 A Week at the Pitt Rivers
2.30 Daunt and Dervish 2.45 Femme Fatale:
A Biography of Mata Hari 3.00 The Tin Drum
4.00 It’s Not What You Know 4.30
Ballylenon 5.00 One Foot in the Grave 5.30
The Tim Vine Chat Show 6.00 The Blue
Lenses 6.30 That Reminds Me 7.00 Listen
to Les 7.30 The Men from the Ministry 8.00
You Came Back. By Christopher Coake 8.30
Hearing Ragas. Paul Robertson and John
Tavener discuss how a piece of music
changed their lives 9.00 Home Sweet Home.
AL Kennedy highlights the drawbacks of
inner-city B&Bs 9.15 Unauthorised History:
The Killing. By Michael Butt 10.00
Comedy Club: The Tim Vine Chat Show.
Tim visits Scotland and the St Andrew
Blackadder church in North Berwick
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Adrian Chiles 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 6.30 5 Live Sport
7.45 5 Live Sport: Champions League
Football 2017-18: Real Madrid v Tottenham
Hotspur (Kick-off 7.45) 10.00 5 Live
Sport: 5 Live Football Social 10.30 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night 5.00
Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Ray Parlour 10.00 Jim White 1.00pm
Hawksbee and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham
and Darren Gough 7.00 Kick-off: Real Madrid
v Tottenham Hotspur (Kick-off 7.45).
Commentary on the UEFA Champions League
Group H encounter 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and
Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00
Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Tom Ravenscroft 1.00am
Hitsville USA: The Story of Motown 2.00
Philadelphia Routes 2.30 6 Music Live Hour
3.30 6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Bill
Turnbull 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00
The Full Works Concert. Music by composers
and performers with connections to Glasgow.
MacCunn (The Land of the Mountain and the
Flood); Craig Armstrong (Love Actually —
Glasgow Theme); Tchaikovsky (Serenade for
Strings in C); Sullivan (HMS Pinafore —
Overture); Patrick Doyle (Brave — Fate and
Destiny); Traditional (Melodies from
Scotland); and Rachmaninov (Symphony No.3
in A minor) 10.00 Smooth Classics. With
Margherita Taylor 1.00am Emma Nelson
the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
11
1GT
MARILYN KINGWILL
Concert
BBCSO/Brabbins
Barbican
Pop
Slowdive
Roundhouse, NW1
T
N
{{{{(
o judge from those swaying
legs and curving arms,
Martyn Brabbins might have
been conducting something
by Johann Strauss, but
appearances were deceptive. The
enormous score before him was
Harrison Birtwistle’s Earth Dances, and
the music never came near a waltz.
Written in the mid-1980s, this
half-hour orchestral monolith has
always stood as a jagged peak of
Birtwistle’s combative art. Yet its
horizontal layers of textures and
rhythms, constantly shifting under us
like tectonic plates, could rarely have
appeared as cogent, tense and exciting
as they did in this superlative account.
Through all the growling and
tumult, from long-breathing brass
to slashing percussion, the BBC
Symphony Orchestra pitched the
notes with tremendous panache,
guided and stirred by Brabbins’s lusty
precision and genius for moulding the
most intransigent sounds into music
that throbs and sings. Never one to
milk applause, the composer had to
be yanked from the audience by
Brabbins to come on to the platform
and face our cheers.
After the interval came Vaughan
Williams’s A Sea Symphony. That
early and pivotal work proved to be
a sonic avalanche too, meaty with fat
orchestral tutti and the fierce vigour
of the BBC Symphony Chorus belting
through Walt Whitman’s spiritually
inclined poems, prised from his Leaves
of Grass. The soprano soloist Elizabeth
Llewellyn, blessed with a ringingly
sturdy voice, rode over the music’s
waves with ease. She also put her
heart into the words. The baritone
Marcus Farnsworth, by comparison,
just put his throat into it and needed
more heft to make his mark. Even so,
that drawback didn’t knock much off
this choral symphony’s wet, windy
power. I emerged from the concert
battered, drenched and exhilarated.
Geoff Brown
Opera
The World’s Wife
Millennium Centre, Cardiff
L
{{{{(
ittle Red Riding Hood kills the
wolf. Queen Herod orders all
the baby boys to be murdered.
Mrs Icarus stands on a hillock
watching her husband, a
“total, utter, absolute, grade-A pillock”.
These characters are from Carol Ann
Duffy’s The World’s Wife, her 1999
poetry anthology about the wives of
famous men. It has been turned into a
“digital chamber opera” for solo
soprano, string quartet and live loop
pedals by the composer Tom Green
and the result (for Welsh National
Opera) is very effective.
It helps that the raw material is
first-rate. Duffy’s lines blaze with
passion, perception and wit, her
language is direct and the people
they portray feel utterly alive. Green
has chosen 11 of the 30 poems for
his 70-minute piece and, although
there’s no narrative as such, he has
fashioned them into a satisfying arc.
artsfirst night
{{(((
Jets of steam and pyrotechnics joined a blinding light show on the London stop of Dizzee Rascal’s tour
Just not grimy enough
The British
rapper delivers
the cheesy pop
hits the crowd
was waiting
to hear, says
Lisa Verrico
Pop
Dizzee Rascal
O2 Academy, SW9
{{{((
G
rime’s move into the
mainstream has put
Dizzee Rascal in a difficult
position. Despite returning
to the sound he pioneered
in the early Noughties on his recent
album, Raskit, the British rapper
remains as well known for the cheesy
pop hits he enjoyed while grime spent
a decade bubbling underground.
Hence there were two types of
fan at his hometown show — plus
a glaring number of empty seats
upstairs. Keeping both content was
a juggling act that a pumped-up,
incessantly pacing Dizzee, his DJ and
his sidekick, MC Scope, maintained for
almost an hour, until a closing run of
dancey party anthems sent some fans
bonkers and others, dismayed, heading
for the exit.
A sprinkling of songs from Dizzee’s
landmark debut album, 2003’s Mercury
award-winning Boy in da Corner,
gloriously united both sides. “We’re
gonna show them who started this
f***ing shit in the first place,” he said
before a still fresh-sounding I Luv U,
his debut single, sent fans into a frenzy
Isn’t it a problem that it’s a male
composer bringing to life these
forgotten female voices? Green’s
answer is either inspired or entrenches
the issue even further. His score is
based on motifs and quotations by
Hildegard von Bingen, Barbara Strozzi,
Clara Schumann and the like. Will you
recognise all the references? Unlikely.
Loop pedals used to record and
replay aural snippets are Green’s
trump card. Whispers and sighs are
woven together in Pilate’s Wife, while
breathing is turned into rushing wind
in Mrs Icarus. The most striking
moment is near the end when the
women’s voices are looped and layered,
echoing from the past with force.
Playing all these women is the
lustrous-voiced soprano Amanda
Forbes, who brilliantly turns from
Medusa’s fury to Anne Hathaway’s
tenderness to Salome’s vampy Henry
vacuum cleaner cabaret. And her
comic timing as the weary, eye-rolling
Mrs Aesop was spot-on. It’s simply
staged by the director Ed Madden
and the designer Grace Smart, whose
gallery-like set is filled with busts of men,
and the Mavron Quartet gives its all.
Rebecca Franks
Comedy
John Bishop:
Winging It
Motorpoint Arena,
Nottingham
{{{{(
A Woman of
No Importance
in the West End
First Night, main paper
and a screen showed footage of the
baby-faced teenager who released it.
Even better was a frisky Fix Up, Look
Sharp and a joyous Jus’ a Rascal, while
not even a clumsy attempt to split the
crowd into east and west sides could
dampen the impact of Stop Dat — “my
original bad shit” as Dizzee described it.
The rapper also fared well with
the Raskit tracks Space and Wot U
Gonna Do?, although his incessant
instructions to “bounce, bounce,
bounce!” did become wearisome.
Whether Dizzee should have
dropped his big pop hits intermittently
throughout the set was difficult to say.
Jets of steam and pyrotechnics joined
a blinding light show for a jolly that
began with Bassline Junkie, ended with
Bonkers and confetti and included the
chart toppers Holiday and Dance Wiv
Me. It wasn’t classy or credible, but it
was what most of the crowd had come
to hear. Dizzee’s only crime? Being
as adept at producing catchy pop
bangers as he once was at breaking
grime ground.
Rock City, Nottingham, tonight; Cliffs
Pavilion, Southend, Thursday
O
ne of these days an
architect will design an
arena to look like what it
really is: a gigantic cash
register. Nottingham’s
temple of mass entertainment is
almost a tiddler compared with the
O2 in London, and I had a good seat
as well. Even so, I spent the evening
watching John Bishop’s face on one of
the three big screens.
Yet the Liverpudlian comedian
managed to turn the show into the
equivalent of a fireside chat. It’s hard
to think of a more unfashionable
name in stand-up: he prefers footie
to Foucault, and a good deal of his
material covers the same subjects
that a hundred other middle-aged
comedians would serve up.
Everything, though, is infused with
his startlingly natural personality.
Even if he tells you, time and again,
how diligently he hones his act in
warm-up gigs, he creates the illusion
that the words are popping into his
head for the first time. Working-class
comedians are becoming as rare as
working-class journalists, so you can’t
help warming to his stories of how
a Scouser from a council estate is
o one could begrudge
Slowdive for giving it
another crack. At the
turn of the Nineties they
unwittingly invented
shoegaze, a dreamlike blend of
guitar-based noise and harmony so
called because its creators were always
checking their effects pedals, but also
redolent of the genre’s interior mood.
At first they were heralded for their
brave new sound. Then grunge and
Britpop came along and they were
booted out of the party. Slowdive
split in 1995, the guitarist/singer
Neil Halstead formed the excellent,
underrated Mojave 3, and Slowdive
became a key influence on a new
generation of bands, particularly in
the US. A reunion in 2014 brought
triumphant festival gigs, sold-out tours
and a lovely new album. What could
possibly go wrong?
Well, to judge from the lack of
atmosphere at this London concert,
Slowdive have suffered from the thing
that bedevils many a reformed band: a
lack of chemistry. Halstead muttered
a few words about being pleased to be
here while not looking very pleased
at all. The singer and organ player
Rachel Goswell held down a few keys
with one hand while mumbling her
way through indecipherable lyrics
in a lackadaisical fashion. Old
favourites such as Souvlaki Space
Station and When the Sun Hits sounded
not transporting, but anodyne.
Certainly there were moments when
Slowdive’s fuzzy, introspective music
lifted into the psychedelic sphere it
was meant to inhabit. The shifts from
quiet to loud on Catch the Breeze
pulsated in time with a hypnotic
op-art backdrop and there was a nice
cover of Syd Barrett’s Golden Hair, but
what should have been euphoric too
often sounded indistinct. Slowdive’s
renaissance is deserved, but this
lacklustre gig did not show them
in the best light.
Will Hodgkinson
adjusting to fame and fortune. His
tales of encounters with celebrities
could easily topple into namedropping. Yet whether Bishop is
talking about the Queen or U2, he
remains a star-struck outsider.
Turning 50 last year has given him
a jolt. His core audience belongs to
the same demographic, more at home
with memories of Blind Date than
hanging out on Tinder. There are
more reminiscences of how his three
sons have grown into lives of their
own, more accounts of gentle
bickering with his wife. Yet the
exasperation always gives way to
affection, encapsulated in a moving
sequence of home video clips
spanning the decades.
At one point, as Bishop spun a genial
segment about how nut allergies didn’t
exist in his youth, a disgruntled punter
in the back suddenly unleashed a
tirade accusing him of making light
of a serious issue. Bishop responded
politely without giving ground. He
was, he explained, talking about
epidemiology. Now that’s not a word
you normally hear in the pub.
Clive Davis
Tour dates: johnbishoponline.com
12
1GT
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Chris Bennion
Chris Packham:
Asperger’s and Me
BBC Two, 9pm
“I have spent
30 years on
the television
trying to
act normal,” says
Chris Packham, “and
it’s been immensely
difficult.” Packham is
Early
Top
pick
autistic, and has been
his whole life, yet he
did not have his
Asperger’s diagnosed
until he was in his
forties. Any regular
viewer of Springwatch
will have picked up on
his idiosyncrasies.
What few of us would
have guessed is how
many hurdles he had
overcome just to
be standing in front of
the camera. Here he
explores his condition,
talking us through his
childhood, how he lives
now and the significant,
often traumatic
moments in his life
when his autism
threatened to derail
him entirely. As a
child he was a merry
“obsessive” about the
natural world, curious
to the extent that he
ate tadpoles, but, as a
teenager, when other
boys were going to
parties, his autism
singled him out as
awkwardly different
— “They didn’t want
to hear about the life
cycle of the kestrel.”
And then there’s that
kestrel, which provided
Packham with the best
and worst moments of
his life. Travelling to
America, the presenter
delves into various
“treatments” for
children with autism,
but the moments when
Packham lets us into
his life are what stand
out. It sounds trite to
say so, but this is an
extraordinarily brave
film — Packham
talks about suicidal
thoughts and his most
intimate relationships
— and one with a
noble purpose. You
will have profound
respect for the man.
Our Girl
BBC One, 9pm
Last week we left the
British Army medic
Georgie Lane (Michelle
Keegan) and the
handsome Nepalese
engineer Milan
(Rudi Dharmalingam)
beneath a pile of rubble
as the earthquake’s
aftershocks continued
to wreak havoc in the
village. Would they
escape? Well, yes,
clearly they do.
Thankfully, after the
more soapy plotlines
have been indulged,
tonight’s episode moves
up a gear when the unit
are forced into a race
to the border to stop
a group of young girls
being sold as sex slaves
in India. A gripping
episode, although
the strained “army
banter” is exhausting.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Live. The team
unravels an elaborate fraud that uses your mobile phone
to gain access to your bank account 10.00 Homes Under
the Hammer. Land and properties in Miles Green, Bow and
Kings Heath (AD) 11.00 A Matter of Life and Debt. Laura
applies for a loan to set up a grilled cheese sandwich bar
in Chester (AD) 11.45 Caught Red Handed. Cases include
a family who receive an unwelcome visitor (r) (AD)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt. From Anglesey’s Mona
Showground (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather
1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45 Doctors.
A routine home visit takes an unexpected turn, while
Zara makes a confident start with her witness statement
(AD) 2.15 Impossible. Game show hosted by Rick
Edwards 3.00 Escape to the Country. Ginny Buckley helps
a couple to find a rural retreat in the Norfolk countryside
(AD) 3.45 Money for Nothing. Sarah Moore salvages
three more items from a tip in Witley, Surrey 4.30
Antiques Road Trip. Arusha Irvine and Phillip Serrell
head to auction in Sheffield 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show
hosted by Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Real Lives Reunited (r) 6.30 Money for Nothing
(r) 7.15 A Matter of Life and Debt (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Billion Dollar Deals and How They Changed Your
World (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC
Newsroom Live 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00pm The Code (r)
1.45 Restoration Home. Caroline Quentin follows the
fortunes of a retired couple renovating a Victorian
gardener’s cottage in Somerset (r) (AD) 2.45 Family
Finders. Belinda O’Brien and Barbara Cohen investigate
their respective families 3.15 Full Steam Ahead. Peter
Ginn and Alex Langlands work as navvies, who built the
railway tracks in all conditions, and Ruth Goodman finds
out what impact the railroads had on the cottage
industries (r) (AD) 4.15 This Farming Life. The farmers
reflect on what each season means to them. In autumn,
Argyll, Sybil and George gather their sheep, while Mel and
Martin buy rams for their flock (r) 5.15 Flog It! Michael
Baggott and Adam Partridge inspect a collection of
medals and a pewter bowl brought in by members of the
public at Derbyshire’s Haddon Hall (r) 6.00 Eggheads (r)
6.30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two. With dance-off
winners Davood Ghadami and Nadiya Bychkova
6.00am Good Morning Britain. A lively mix of news and
current affairs, plus health, entertainment and lifestyle
features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current affairs
and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories, cooking and
gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat show
10.30 This Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly
Willoughby present chat with famous faces and lifestyle
features, including a look at the stories making the
newspaper headlines and a recipe in the kitchen. Including
Local Weather 12.30pm Loose Women. More interviews
with famous faces and topical debate from a female
perspective 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s
Real Deal. David Dickinson and the team are in High
Wycombe, Buckinghamshire, where he and Tracy
Thackray-Howitt disagree over some gold earrings (r)
3.00 Alphabetical. Quiz in which contestants answer
questions based around letters of the alphabet. Hosted by
Jeff Stelling 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
quiz show in which contestants drop tokens down a choice
of four chutes in the hope of winning a £10,000 jackpot
5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents the quiz 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.20am The King of Queens (r) 7.40 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 9.05 Frasier (r) (AD) 10.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA. The fiery chef comes to the aid
of a French restaurant in the heart of Moorpark, California
(r) 11.00 Undercover Boss USA. The CEO of restaurant
branch Muscle Maker Grill goes undercover with his staff
(r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm Come Dine
with Me. Four contestants from Cambridgeshire battle it
out, with the week including Jacuzzi dining, and unusual
games of hide and seek (r) 1.05 A New Life in the Sun.
A London hairdresser takes on her first member of staff
(r) 2.10 Countdown. With guest Michael Whitehall 3.00
Find It, Fix It, Flog It. Henry Cole and Simon O’Brien head
to Newark 4.00 My Kitchen Rules. Celia and Dave bring a
taste of Africa and the Caribbean to their restaurant 5.00
Four in a Bed. The second visit of the week is to Barnfield
B&B in St Osyth, Essex 5.30 Steph and Dom’s One Star to
Five Star. The owners of The Dalehurst are challenged to
offer a Devonshire afternoon tea 6.00 The Simpsons. The
town’s graveyard is moved (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Diane
is furious when she finds out about Tony’s financial lies,
and Zack loses out on a massive opportunity (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and guests talk about the issues of the day, with
viewers calling in to offer their opinions 11.15 Can’t Pay?
We’ll Take It Away. Agents head to Manchester to recover
more than £400,000 owed to a builder, while officers in
Kent chase over £11,000 owed by a couple for unpaid rent
(r) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel
Inspector. Alex Polizzi spends a night as a guest at the
struggling Gungate Hotel in Tamworth, Staffordshire, and
the next day delivers a hard-hitting verdict about her stay
to the owner (r) 1.10 Access 1.15 Home and Away (AD)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS. The team becomes
involved in an international incident when the body of an
American petty officer is discovered, and evidence
suggests he was killed on a British ship (r) (AD) 3.15
FILM: Damaged (TVM, 2014) A teacher’s life is turned
upside down when a new student moves into the area and
they develop a mutual attraction for each other. Thriller
starring Chris Klein 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours.
Things get ugly between Gary and Terese (r) (AD) 6.00
Home and Away. Kat makes a macabre discovery at
Dylan’s house (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
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Northanger Abbey
7PM
7.00 Coast: The Great Guide Tessa
Dunlop and Neil Oliver explore the Irish
Sea shoreline. Tessa goes in search of
new experiences and tales, hitching a
ride on a Liverpool tug-boat, crossing
the Irish sea on a luxury cruise liner,
and seeking out a surviving sister
ship of the Titanic (8/8) (r) (AD)
7.00 Emmerdale Vanessa feels mortified
after Charity exposes their secret in
the middle of her date with Daz, and
Rhona comes to her aid (AD)
7.30 Save Money: Good Health The
winner of the best value-for-money
diet is revealed, and if buying bottled
water is worth the cost (6/6) (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Tony Robinson: Coast to Coast
The presenter reaches the North York
Moors and takes to the skies for a
bird’s-eye view of the journey ahead
from the cockpit of a glider from the
Sutton Bank gliding club. Back on
the ground, he admires the ruins of
Rievaulx Abbey (5/6) (r) (AD)
8PM
8.00 Holby City Fredrik and Sara need to
convince Hanssen to give them his
professional backing and an impromptu
visit from a loved one gives Raf food
for thought. Oliver and Matteo go
head-to-head to win over Damon (AD)
8.00 Saving Lives at Sea As the summer
sun comes out, so do the funseekers,
and in Southend a family of five
sightseeing a mile off shore are
caught out by the tide. The Shoreham
crew are paged in the early hours
after a drunken festival-goer
jumps in the river (10/12) (AD)
8.00 Robson Green’s Coastal Lives
Robson visits the coastline of
North Yorkshire on the final step
of his journey (6/6) (AD)
8.30 Call the Cleaners Yvonne and
Angela help an artist whose
nine-bedroom house in Stafford is
overrun with clutter (5/6) (AD)
8.00 The Great British Bake Off The
remaining five bakers step back in time
for Forgotten Bakes Week, facing the
test of baking with unfamiliar recipes,
with places in the semi-final at stake.
Presenters Sandi Toksvig and Noel
Fielding are on hand to help the bakers
calm their nerves (8/10) (AD)
8.00 The Yorkshire Vet Julian dashes to
an emergency as he tries to help a
heifer that is struggling to give birth
naturally, putting the lives of both
mother and calf at risk, while Peter
meets one of the UK’s most
endangered species — an orphaned
baby hedgehog (4/8) (AD)
9.00 Our Girl: Nepal Tour A frantic search
ensues in the wake of the aftershock
when 2-section realise Georgie is
missing, while military intelligence
discovers that De Chand
is part of a terrorist network.
See Viewing Guide (2/4) (AD)
9.00 Chris Packham: Asperger’s and Me
The naturalist and broadcaster offers
a personal and brutally honest account
of his life coping with Asperger’s
Syndrome, reflecting on the
devastating struggles of his
adolescence. See Viewing Guide (AD)
9.00 Cilla A failed attempt to crack the US,
a tempestuous relationship with
Bobby, and the unravelling of Brian’s
private life all threaten to derail Cilla’s
success. The concluding instalment of
Jeff Pope’s biopic charting Cilla Black’s
rise to fame, starring Sheridan Smith
and Aneurin Barnard (3/3) (r) (AD)
11PM
10PM
7.00 The One Show Another mix
of nationwide reports and live
studio-based chat hosted by
Matt Baker and Alex Jones
7.30 EastEnders Ian breaks the news
of his plans to leave Walford, while
Stacey pushes Martin away and
refuses to see their baby (AD)
9PM
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10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 Later Live: with Jools Holland
With Paul Heaton and Jacqui Abbott,
Wolf Alice and Grizzly Bear (4/6)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 Valley Cops Documentary following
the South Wales Police. Drugs cop
Rhino is called in to help with a
robbery, using his knowledge of the
area to try to find the culprits.
See Viewing Guide (1/2) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Evan Davis
10.30 Regional News
Late
11.35 Diabulimia: The World’s Most
Dangerous Eating Disorder
The stories of three young Type 1
diabetics with eating disorders (AD)
12.05am FILM: I Am Number Four (12, 2011)
A teenager with special powers is forced to live as a
fugitive, constantly moving from place to place with
his protector to avoid aliens who seek to destroy him.
Sci-fi thriller starring Alex Pettyfer, Timothy Olyphant,
Teresa Palmer and Dianna Agron 1.45-6.00 BBC News
11.15 NFL This Week Mark Chapman
presents action from the sixth round of
fixtures, including Minnesota Vikings v
Green Bay Packers, Kansas City Chiefs
v Pittsburgh Steelers, and Denver
Broncos v New York Giants
12.05am Sign Zone: The Apprentice The candidates
are challenged to make-over a bedroom in a five-star
hotel, before pitching their ideas to the hotel manager
and a leading interior designer (r) (SL) 1.05-2.05
Russia with Simon Reeve. The adventurer travels
across the world’s biggest country (r) (AD, SL)
10.40 After the News Emma Barnett and
Nick Ferrari are joined by guests with
differing views to discuss some of
Britain’s main talking points
11.15 Lethal Weapon When a million dollar
casino heist takes a deadly turn, Riggs
befriends the only credible witness —
an eight-year-old boy — and takes him
into his care. He also contemplates
what to do with the money he received
from selling his home in Texas (r) (AD)
12.05am Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to
participate in live interactive gaming from their own
sofas 3.00 Loose Women. More interviews with famous
faces and topical debate from a female perspective (r)
3.50 ITV Nightscreen. Text-based information service
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Talk show (r) (SL)
9.15 Celebrity Hunted All seven famous
faces remain at large, but it is a
scramble for survival for Steph and
Dom, who believe the hunters are
closing in after information is elicited
from their manager, while model
fugitive Anneka Rice makes her
first mistake, by contacting an
associate who the hunters already
have in their sights (2/4) (AD)
10.25 Gogglebox The armchair critics pass
judgment on Strictly Come Dancing,
The X Factor, Britain Afloat, Liar, The
Great British Bake Off and Celebrity
Hunted, as well as stories making the
news (r) (AD)
11.25 Parenting for Idiots Sally Phillips,
Frankie Boyle, Shappi Khorsandi and
Carrie Fisher discuss the importance
of rules when raising children, from
behaviour charts to the shame of
public tantrums (3/3) (r) (AD)
12.25am Music on 4: Live from Abbey Road
Classics Featuring music by Stereophonics and Richard
Ashcroft 12.50 Escape (r) (AD) 1.45 The Supervet (r)
(AD) 2.45 FILM: Pyaasa (PG, 1957) Indian musical
drama starring Guru Dutt and Waheeda Rehman (b/w)
5.05 Too Many Cooks (r) 5.35-6.20 Countdown (r)
9.00 Ben Fogle New Lives in the Wild:
Down Under New series. Ben begins
his travels in the remote Wilderness
Island, off Australia’s northwestern
cape, to meet a man whose story is
as remarkable as the landscape he
inhabits. He also gets a lesson in
the art of mud-crabbing (1/8)
10.00 When Game Shows Go Horribly
Wrong Dale Winton narrates a
compilation of disastrous game show
moments. Featuring contestants on
The Million Pound Drop failing to pay
attention to a question with a fortune
at stake, the least successful player to
appear on The Chase, the woman who
broke her leg on The Krypton Factor
and still finished third, Catchphrase
host Nick Weir damaging his career
by falling down the stairs, and the
Princess Diana-themed episode of
Channel 5 quiz show 100% (r)
12.55am SuperCasino 3.10 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It
Away. Stewart and Vic become party to a fractured
family’s school fee woes (r) 4.00 Tattoo Disasters UK (r)
(SL) 4.45 House Doctor. Transformations of kitchens and
dining rooms (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine Designs. Two Victorian
architects (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
13
1GT
television & radio
Elizabeth I’s
Battle for
God’s Music
BBC Four, 9pm
Choral Evensong, says
Lucy Worsley in this
very good documentary,
is the quintessential
sound of England. Yet
how many of us were
aware that evensong
was forged in the fires
of the Reformation?
Henry VIII may well
have wanted to split
from the Catholic
church, but he had
a passion for choral
polyphony — something
dismissed by Protestant
theologians as decadent
— and was loath to part
with it. Worsley charts
how the religious music
he adored was shaped,
first by Edward and
Mary, and ultimately
by his music-loving
daughter Elizabeth.
Reformation
BBC Four, 10pm
If you prefer your
history lessons to be
on the dramatic side,
this two-part German
biopic of Martin Luther
might be just the ticket.
Uwe Janson’s drama
begins with Luther
(played by Maximilian
Brückner as a tough,
straight-talking,
athletic hero) being
cajoled into beginning
a “dispute” with the
Catholic church over
its proliferation of
indulgences (ie paying
the church for
salvation). It charts
the stormy years that
follow his Ninety-five
Theses. It isn’t the most
subtle programme, but
it’s educative and has
flashes of wit: “It’s 42
theses . . . it might end
up being a bit more.”
Valley Cops
BBC One, 10.45pm
This lively new series
follows the officers of
South Wales police as
they deal with the
miscreants of the
notorious Gurnos
Estate in Merthyr
Tydfil, Mid Glamorgan.
It’s a vivid reminder of
the poverty that exists
in this country. It also
offers a crash course in
empathetic, hands-on
policing. In a nutshell,
everyone knows
everyone in Merthyr
and that makes for
excellent policing —
even if it is awkward
when family members
are involved. About the
prime suspect for a
post office robbery, the
drug cop “Rhino” says:
“He’s a polite, nice lad.
He just lets himself
down occasionally.”
Sport Choice
BT Sport 2, 7pm
Two mouthwatering
clashes in the
Champions League:
Tottenham Hotspur
are in the Santiago
Bernabéu to face the
defending champions,
Real Madrid (kick-off
7.45pm) and Manchester
City take on Serie A’s
Napoli at the Etihad
(BT Sport 3, 7pm).
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Flash (r) 7.00 Modern Family (r)
8.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r) 9.00 The Dog
Whisperer (r) (AD) 10.00 David Attenborough’s
Galapagos (r) (AD) 11.00 Modern Family (r)
12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii
Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00 The
Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.00 Modern Family. Phil fires Mitchell (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 The Flash. New series. A powerful
armoured villain threatens to level Central City if
the Flash does not appear, so Cisco decides to
break Barry out of the speed force
9.00 Carpool Karaoke Special. With Katy Perry
and Jennifer Lopez (r) (AD)
10.00 The Russell Howard Hour. Topical comedy
and entertainment show (r)
11.00 The Simpsons. Double bill (r)
12.00 A League of Their Own (r) 1.00am The
Force: Essex (r) (AD) 2.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
3.00 The Blacklist (r) (AD) 4.00 Stop, Search,
Seize (r) (AD) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r) (AD)
6.00am Urban Secrets (r) 8.00 Richard E
Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD) 10.00 The West
Wing (r) 12.00 Without a Trace (r) 1.00pm CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The British (r) (AD) 4.00 The
West Wing. Political drama (r)
6.00 Without a Trace. The team searches for
a cancer sufferer with one month to live (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
A photographer is murdered (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Jamie is caught on camera
committing what appears to be police brutality
at an anti-policy demonstration (r) (AD)
9.00 A Plastic Voyage. The damage caused by
single-use plastics in the waters around Britain
10.00 The Deuce. Vincent is tempted by
a lucrative offer from Rudy (4/8)
11.10 Curb Your Enthusiasm (r)
11.50 Ray Donovan. Drama (9/12) (r)
1.00am I’m Dying Up Here. Nick makes a fateful
decision (r) 2.10 The Deuce (r) 3.20 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 4.10 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese:
A Year to Save My Life USA (r) 8.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r)
11.00 Highway Patrol (r) 12.00 Road Wars (r)
1.00pm UK Border Force (r) (AD) 2.00 Nothing
to Declare (r) (AD) 4.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (r) 5.00 Criminal Minds (r)
6.45 My Kitchen Rules: Australia.
The quarter-finals begin
8.00 Children’s Hospital. A three-year-old with
a rare brain disease receives treatment (r)
8.30 Children’s Hospital. Staff treat an
18-year-old cystic fibrosis sufferer (r)
9.00 Chicago Fire. The crew are called out to a
harrowing blaze that puts many lives in danger
10.00 Criminal Minds. The team is
questioned by a senate committee (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 Stalker. A stalker terrorises his victims
(r) 1.00am Bones (r) (AD) 1.50 Cold Case (r)
3.30 Scandal (r) (AD) 4.20 UK Border Force (r)
(AD) 5.10 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.00am 3 Stars in Munich 8.00 Auction 8.30
Watercolour Challenge 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 10.00 Talks Music (AD) 11.00
Trailblazers: Electronic Music 12.00 Discovering:
Maureen O’Hara 1.00pm Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 2.00 Watercolour Challenge
2.30 Auction 3.00 Master of Photography 4.00
Painting the Johnsons 5.00 Discovering: Roy
Orbison 5.30 Watercolour Challenge
6.00 Discovering: Edward G Robinson
7.00 The Sixties. Social landscape of the US
8.00 Too Young to Die. Heath Ledger (AD)
9.00 My Beatles Black Album with Charles
Hazlewood. A compilation of solo tracks
10.00 The History of Comedy (AD)
11.00 Urban Myths: Bob Dylan. Comedy
11.30 Rock and Roll. Truth and authenticity
1.00am Classic Albums 2.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 3.00 Auction 3.30 Maestro:
The Director’s Cut 5.00 South Bank Show
Originals: John Lee Hooker 5.30 South Bank
Show Originals: Daniel Barenboim
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00
Premier League Daily 11.00 Sky Sports Daily
12.00 Sky Sports Today 1.00pm Live World Cup
2018 Play-Off Draw. Coverage from Zurich 2.00
Sky Sports Today 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5.
Sports news and updates
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6. News and updates
7.00 Gillette Soccer Special Pre-Match
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special. Featuring
pre-match reports and news of all tonight’s
goals as they go in, with studio guests keeping
an eye on the big games and talking points
10.00 The Debate. Discussion on
the latest Premier League news
11.00 Sky Sports News. A round-up of
the day’s talking points
12.00 Sky Sports News 1.00am Live WWE Late
Night Smackdown. Spectacular wrestling action
with the over-the-top stars of the States,
profiling fighters causing a stir and following
feuds as they spill out of the ring
3.00 Sky Sports News. Triple bill
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm Spotlight.
Social and political issues 11.10 Valley Cops.
Documentary following the South Wales Police.
See Viewing Guide (AD) 12.00 Diabulimia: The
World’s Most Dangerous Eating Disorder. The
stories of three young Type 1 diabetics with
eating disorders (AD) 12.30am FILM: I Am
Number Four (2011) Sci-fi thriller starring
Alex Pettyfer 2.10-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 8.00pm-9.00 River City.
It is a big day for Kim both professionally and
personally 10.45 Holby City. Fredrik is up
against the clock to gain ground with Hanssen
(AD) 11.45 Valley Cops. See Viewing Guide
(AD) 12.30am Diabulimia: The World’s Most
Dangerous Eating Disorder (AD) 1.00 FILM:
I Am Number Four (2011) 2.40 Weather
for the Week Ahead 2.45-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 10.45pm Live at the
Apollo. Joe Lycett hosts (r) 11.15 Diabulimia:
The World’s Most Dangerous Eating Disorder
(AD) 11.45 FILM: I Am Number Four (2011)
Sci-fi thriller 1.25am-6.00 BBC News
Find a lifelong companion in the Times Literary Supplement,
the world’s leading international literary journal
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 10.00pm-10.30 The
Landlord: Inside the Housing Executive.
Working to improve community spirit for
tenants in large estates. Last in the series (r)
11.15 Later Live: with Jools Holland 11.45
NFL This Week 12.35am-1.05 Sign Zone:
When Kids Abuse Kids — Panorama (r)
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BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Pagans and Pilgrims: Britain’s Holiest
Places. The Welsh poet Ifor ap Glyn sets out to
understand the appeal of shrines (4/6) (r)
8.00 The Real White Queen and Her Rivals.
(2/2) Philippa Gregory looks at the influence
Elizabeth Woodville, Anne Neville and Margaret
Beaufort had on the English monarchy (r) (AD)
9.00 Lucy Worsley: Elizabeth I’s Battle for God’s
Music. The presenter investigates the story
of choral evensong, which was instigated by
Henry VIII during the tumultuous and violent era
of the English Reformation. See Viewing Guide
10.00 Reformation. Drama telling the story of
Martin Luther, the visionary reformer and one of
the most important religious figures in history.
In German. See Viewing Guide (1/2)
11.30 The Most Dangerous Man in Tudor
England. Exploring the story of William Tyndale
and examining the lasting impact of his mission
to translate the Bible into English (r)
12.30am Woolly Mammoth: Secrets from the
Ice (r) (AD) 1.30 The Real White Queen and Her
Rivals (r) (AD) 2.30-3.30 Lucy Worsley:
Elizabeth I’s Battle for God’s Music (r)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Charmed (r)
8.00 Melissa & Joey (r) 9.00 2 Broke Girls (r)
(AD) 10.00 Baby Daddy (r) 11.00 How I Met
Your Mother (r) (AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r)
(AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
2.00 Melissa & Joey (r) 3.00 Baby Daddy (r)
4.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs (r)
(AD) 5.30 Stage School
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. This episode focuses on a
day in the life of Peri, Yasmine and Lily (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers. Michelle Wibowo
creates an edible Wizard of Oz mural (r)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: Die Hard (18, 1988) A cop battles
armed men who have taken over a skyscraper.
Action thriller starring Bruce Willis (AD)
11.40 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.10am The Big Bang Theory. Howard and Raj
form a band (r) (AD) 12.35 Naked Attraction (r)
(AD) 1.40 Tattoo Fixers (r) (SL) 2.35 First
Dates (r) (AD, SL) 3.30 Rude Tube (r) 4.20
Rude(ish) Tube (r) 4.45 Charmed (r)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (r)
10.00 FILM: The Last Wagon (PG, 1956)
Western starring Richard Widmark 12.00 Food
Unwrapped (r) (AD) 12.35pm Grand Designs (r)
(AD) 1.35 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (r)
3.45 Sun, Sea and Selling Houses (r) 4.50
Homes by the Sea (r) (AD) 5.50 The Supervet.
The team deals with two emergency cases (r)
6.55 Car SOS. Restoring a 1938 MG TA (r)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud revisits a
couple who set out three years previously to
turn a dilapidated 18th-century house in
central France into a B&B (5/6) (r) (AD)
9.00 Hunt for the Arctic Ghost Ship. The
multimillion-dollar expedition that discovered
the Victorian ship HMS Erebus (r) (AD)
10.00 Titanic: The New Evidence. Senan Molony
examines recently recovered photographs of the
doomed ship, which provide fresh insight into
the reasons for its sinking (r) (AD)
11.05 24 Hours in A&E. A 79-year-old woman is
brought in with signs of a stroke (r) (AD)
12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
A New York restaurant (r) 2.00 24 Hours in A&E
(r) (AD) 3.10-3.50 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am Hell Below Zero (U, 1954) Action
adventure starring Alan Ladd 12.50pm It
Came from Beneath the Sea (U, 1954)
Monster adventure starring Kenneth Tobey
(b/w) 2.25 3:10 to Yuma (PG, 1957)
Western with Glenn Ford and Van Heflin (b/w)
4.15 Twelve O’Clock High (U, 1949) The
commander of a US bomber squadron suppresses
his compassionate nature to restore morale and
discipline. Second World War drama with
Gregory Peck and Hugh Marlowe (b/w)
7.00 Endless Love (12, 2014) A girl from a
rich family falls in love with a mysterious man,
but her parents do not approve of the
relationship. Romantic drama starring Alex
Pettyfer and Gabriella Wilde
9.00 The Green Mile (18, 1999) A prison
guard amazed by the healing power and gentle
nature of a man on death row comes to doubt
his guilt. Supernatural drama starring Tom
Hanks and Michael Clarke Duncan (AD)
12.40am-3.10 Stripes (15, 1981) Two
misfits enlist in the US army in the mistaken
belief modern military service is the equivalent
of a luxury holiday. Comedy starring Bill Murray
6.00am You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 6.25
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.15
The Great Indoors (r) (AD) 8.00 Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 8.30 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 9.30 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show (r) 10.20 The Great
Indoors (r) (AD) 11.15 Dress to Impress (r)
12.20pm Emmerdale (r) (AD) 12.50 Coronation
Street (r) (AD) 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
6.00 Dress to Impress (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men. Alan seeks refuge
after he and Walden have a disagreement (r)
9.00 FILM: Fast & Furious 5 (12, 2011)
A fugitive assembles a team of criminals for a
heist in Rio, but the FBI’s top manhunter is on
their trail. Action adventure sequel starring
Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, Paul Walker,
Jordana Brewster and Tyrese Gibson (AD)
11.35 Family Guy (r) (AD)
12.05am Family Guy (r) (AD) 12.35
American Dad! (r) (AD) 1.30 Celebrity
Showmance (r) 2.30 Teleshopping
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.50
Heartbeat (r) (AD) 7.50 Where the Heart Is (r)
(AD) 8.45 Wild at Heart (r) 9.50 Judge Judy (r)
10.15 Inspector Morse (r) 12.35pm Wild at
Heart (r) 1.35 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 2.40 Classic
Coronation Street (r) 3.40 Inspector Morse.
An eminent scientist is murdered (r) (AD)
6.00 Heartbeat. The police search for a missing
boy. Sixties-set drama (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. The amateur sleuth
investigates the murder of a tennis player’s
boyfriend, who was killed by a bomb planted in
the sportswoman’s car (r) (AD)
8.00 The Booze Cruise III. The gang return for a
third adventure, this time tagging along on a
trip to scatter Grace’s mother’s ashes on the
Yorkshire Moors (r) (AD)
10.05 Lewis. A professor is found dead on
Hallowe’en with a stake through her heart and
Hobson reveals she shared a house with the
victim in her university days (4/4) (r) (AD)
12.00 Inspector Morse. An eminent scientist is
murdered (r) (AD) 2.15am ITV3 Nightscreen
2.30 Teleshopping. Buying goods from home
6.00am Nijinsky’s Triple Crown (r) 6.05 The
Chase (r) 7.40 Counting Cars (r) 8.35 Pawn
Stars (r) 9.30 Ironside (r) 10.35 Quincy ME (r)
11.40 The Sweeney (r) 12.45pm The Avengers
(r) 1.50 Ironside (r) 2.55 Quincy ME (r) 3.55
The Sweeney (r) 5.00 The Avengers (r)
6.05 Counting Cars. An ‘86 Chevy pick-up (r)
6.35 Counting Cars. A customised motorcycle (r)
7.00 Pawn Stars. Toy tin army trucks (r)
7.30 Pawn Stars. A 1909 baseball card (r)
7.55 The Chase: Celebrity Special. Quiz show (r)
9.00 Benidorm. Angus Deayton guests (r) (AD)
10.00 Car Crash Global: Caught on Camera
11.00 FILM: Payback (18, 1999) A smalltime crook takes on a crime syndicate in pursuit
of money he is owed by his wife and partner,
who left him for dead. Thriller starring
Mel Gibson and Kris Kristofferson (AD)
1.10am FILM: Hard Target (18, 1993)
An out-of-work merchant sailor investigates
sadistic hunters who stalk human prey in New
Orleans. John Woo’s action thriller starring
Jean-Claude Van Damme (AD) 2.50 ITV4
Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve
Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear.
The BMW 1 Series is profiled (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. A tribute to the Land Rover.
With guests Will Smith and Margot Robbie (AD)
7.00 Top Gear. Richard Hammond compares the
Porsche Cayman GTS with the latest Chevrolet
Corvette. With guest Olly Murs (AD)
8.00 QI XL. Extended edition. With Phill Jupitus,
Josh Widdecombe and Sara Pascoe
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Jason Manford hosts
the comedy show, with Michael McIntyre
10.00 QI XL. Stephen Fry hosts with Jo Brand,
Alan Davies, David Mitchell and Phill Jupitus
11.00 Taskmaster. A series of tasks as Sally
Phillips faces an amorous watercooler, and
Aisling Bea crams a dish into a balloon
12.00 Would I Lie to You? Comedy panel show
12.40am Mock the Week 1.20 The Last Man on
Earth (AD) 2.20 Live at the Apollo 3.15 Harry
Hill’s the Best of TV Burp 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning 9.00
Casualty 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The Bill 1.00pm
Last of the Summer Wine 1.40 Brush Strokes
2.20 Birds of a Feather 3.00 London’s Burning
4.00 Pie in the Sky 5.00 Bergerac
6.00 Brush Strokes. Comedy with Karl Howman
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine.
Foggy hits on another get-rich-quick idea
7.20 As Time Goes By. Jean and Lionel make
wedding plans. Comedy with Judi Dench
8.00 Death in Paradise. The team
investigates when the host of a charity
fundraiser is shot dead (8/8) (AD)
9.00 Father Brown. A woman’s father is killed
three weeks after the death of her mother (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. Brian struggles to control his
urge to drink and finds refuge in the commune
at the centre of the team’s investigation into the
death of a university student (7/8) (AD)
11.15 Birds of a Feather. Tracey receives the
payout from Garth’s endowment policy
12.00 The Bill. Double bill 1.00am London’s
Burning 2.00 No Place Like Home 3.35
Garden Hopping 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Dickinson’s Real Deal 6.45 Battle
Factory 7.10 David Starkey’s Monarchy (AD)
8.00 Walking Through History: Bronte Country
9.00 Wild Africa 10.00 Prince Philip: The Plot to
Make a King (AD) 11.00 Abandoned Engineering
(AD) 12.00 Time Team 1.00pm Walking
Through History: Victoria and Albert’s Highland
Fling 2.00 Wild Africa 3.00 Coast (AD)
4.00 Open All Hours 4.40 Blackadder II (AD)
5.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em. Comedy
6.00 Unearthing WWII. The Normandy Landings
7.00 Unearthing WWII. A famous battlefield
near the Dutch city of Groningen (3/3)
8.00 Impossible Engineering. Building and
maintaining the international space station (AD)
9.00 Abandoned Engineering. Exploring ship
graveyards, including Scapa Flow (4/6) (AD)
10.00 Open All Hours. Granville finally
meets the girl of his dreams
10.40 Blackadder II. Comedy (AD)
11.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em
12.00 Impossible Engineering. The international
space station (AD) 1.00am Unearthing WWII
2.00 Secrets of War 3.00 Home Shopping
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 7.00pm-8.00 The Last
Seabird Summer. Adam Nicolson follows the
story of the seabirds on the Shiant Isles
BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 1.45pm First Minister’s
Questions. Full coverage of AMs’ questions to
the First Minister 2.35-2.45 Coast. The salt
mines at Carrickfergus and Bendu House (r)
5.15 Flog It! From West Hertfordshire (r)
5.30-6.00 X-Ray. Why one lorry company has
fitted all 300 of its vehicles with dash cams (r)
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 11.15pm Wales on TV. Wales
through the decades 11.45-12.05am
Countrywise: Guide to Britain (r)
STV
As ITV except: 8.30pm-9.00 STV Children’s
Appeal: They Need Our Help. With Andrea
Brymer 10.30 Scotland Tonight 11.05 Call the
Cleaners (AD) 11.35 Lethal Weapon (r) (AD)
12.25am Teleshopping 1.25 After Midnight
2.55 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
UTV
As ITV except: 12.05am Teleshopping
1.05-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Leugh le Linda (r) 5.20 Pincidh
Dincidh Dù (Pinky Dinky Doo) (r) 5.35 BB agus
Bellag (r) 5.40 Na Floogals (r) 5.50 Su
Shiusaidh (Little Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.55 Air
Chall’s Air Lorg (Lost and Found) (r) 6.20 Tree
Fu Tom 6.40 Ceistean Lara (r) 7.00 An
Ataireachd Bhuan 7.30 Speaking Our Language
(r) 7.55 Earrann Eachdraidh (History Shorts)
(r) 8.00 An Là (News) 8.30 Faobhar: Eilean
Eige 9.00 An Dotair Mòr (r) 10.00 Mòd 2017:
Mod na Cloinne 11.30-12.00 Alleluia!
(Spiritual Music & Verse) (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
12.05pm Heno (r) 1.00 Dylan ar Daith (r)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn
Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Cefn Gwlad:
Pedwar Cwm (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh:
Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh: Tag 5.35 Stwnsh: Dreigiau
— Marchogion Berc (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 6.05 Cwpwrdd Dillad (r) 6.30 Ysgol
Ddawns Anti Karen (r) 7.00 Heno 7.30
Rownd a Rownd (AD) 8.00 Pobol y Cwm
(AD) 8.25 Tân 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Y Byd ar Bedwar 10.00 O’r Senedd
10.30-11.35 Deuawdau Rhys Meirion (r)
14
Tuesday October 17 2017 | the times
1GT
What are your favourite puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
MindGames
1
2
5
Codeword No 3156
3
6
4
7
14
8
11
19
10
11
2
7
24
17
9
17
24
12
10
26
17
Scrabble ® Challenge No 1981
26
24
17
10
7
7
17
26
23
9
20
20
10
23
1
4
16
10
17
10
2L
6
M
4
12
13
10
2
18
13
20
20
2
18
24
20
4
B
14
16
6
24
17
16
2L
L
17
15
16
17
24
14
8
10
14
1
20
13
26
4
16
8
16
17
6
14
14
26
8
16
3
18
14
15
26
21
26
10
13
17
1
10
4
7
7
20
8
7
20
22
8
23
16
Across
5 Human beings (6)
7 Dull, slow (6)
9 Maths function; entire (8)
11 Eg, painting, sculpture (4)
12 Omit (a sound) when
speaking (5)
13 Not knowing right or wrong
(6)
Solution to Crossword 7471
I K
E
ON
N
E
T
L
T
ME
N
AN
E
PR
E
ED I
C E
MA S T E
M R
X P L A I
I
P ENNE
X
P ANE
R E
DERRO
S V
OS P EC
T
H
R
E
N
O
D
Y
B
R
A
T
15 A reflexive pronoun (6)
17 Parody, hoax (5)
19 Of very high quality (4)
20 Info in computer rather
than printed (4,4)
22 Cannabis cigarette (6)
23 Make neat (4,2)
8
2
8
18
20
2
7
20
20
2
3
4
5
6
B
14
15
16
17
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
1 Elf or fairy (6)
2 Close (4)
3 Type of ski race (6)
4 Social insects (4)
6 Leave far behind (11)
8 Study of skin disorders (11)
10 Water bird (5)
14 Beginning, start (5)
16 Gentle sheen (6)
18 Dishes cooked in oil (3-3)
19 Conflagration; sack (4)
21 Is of the right shape and
size (4)
S
N
C
S
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
R
G
E
T
T
P
Y
W
T
E
U
D
A
O
W
P
I
D
U
O
U
O
Z
F
I
L
S
O
U
F
E
I
G
B
I
O
S
E
D
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4148
Futoshiki No 3022
Challenge compiled by Allan Simmons
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2017
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Kakuro No 1981
2
20
3
29
27
6
23
14
29
30
11
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
>
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
13
11
<
∨
35
8
3
12
30
16
10
36
9
29
28
4
35
14
26
∨
3
∧
H
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
88010 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
No 3964
I
F
G
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Lexica
M
E
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 88010. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
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charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
M
D
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday’s solution, right
No 3963
C
Use only the board area shown. Collins Official
Scrabble Words is the authority used, although the
solutions are not unusual words. Standard Scrabble
rules apply for making the word plays.
L
Down
B
Key
2L = double letter
3L = triple letter
2W = double word
3W = triple word
Letter values
AEIOULNRST=1
DG=2 BCMP=3
FHVWY=4 K=5
JX=8 QZ=10
winmare
M
18
A
I
2L
What play covers two triple-word
squares using this rack?
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2L
What play uses six of the letters
from this rack?
5
14 15
3W
ad
3L be
2W
2L
2W
on
2L
recap
t
ho
3L i
3L
2L
n 2L
3W
rung 2L
24
8
13
13
13
8
25
11 12
puntbow
23
26
10
26
© PUZZLER MEDIA
22
8
9
2L
16
21
26
T URNP
A E R
S T A T I
K C V
RHE A
A
T
F ENNE
F O
E X T RE
C H E
T R I A L
E N S
D I GS
8
18
24
19
7
8
3W
7
8
7
7
14
<
∨
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
14
14
17
21
14
39
7
16
11
17
16
8
28
30
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
30
10
23
© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7472
the times | Tuesday October 17 2017
15
1GT
MindGames
White: Gawain Jones
Black: Vladimir Kramnik
chess.com Masters
Isle of Man 2017
Scotch Game
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 d4
The so-called Scotch Game, the
one-time favourite of Garry Kasparov.
3 ... exd4 4 Nxd4 Nf6 5 Nxc6
bxc6 6 e5 Qe7 7 Qe2 Nd5 8 c4
Ba6 9 Nd2 g6 10 Nf3 Qb4+ 11
Kd1
Astonishingly this position is
well-known theory. To my eyes,
White’s general lack of development and poor position of his
king give Black an easy game.
This is particularly so after the
standard theoretical moves 11 ...
Nb6 or 11 ... Rb8. Instead, Kramnik
________
árD Dkg 4]
à0 0pDpDp]
ßbDpD DpD]
ÞD Dn) D ]
Ý 1PD D D]
ÜD D DND ]
ÛP) DQ)P)]
Ú$ GKDBDR]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
11 ... Ne7 12 Qc2 c5 13 Bd3 Bg7 14
Re1 0-0 15 Qb3 Nc6 16 Bd2 Qb6
17 Qxb6 axb6
The former world champion
has consistently avoided a queen
swap on b3. Now that this trade
has taken place, but on the parallel square b6, Black has gained
many advantages, primarily the
more compact pawn structure.
18 Kc2 Rad8 19 a3 d6 20 exd6
Rxd6 21 Bc3 Na5 22 Bxg7 Kxg7
White’s next move soon lands
him in trouble as his minor pieces
suffer an unfortunate traffic jam
along the d-file. However, the
natural 23 b3, to shore up his
pawn on c4, fails instantly to the
tactical trick 23 ... Nxb3.
23 Nd2 Rfd8 24 Re3 Bc8
This regrouping is very strong.
The immediate threat is 25 ...
Rxd3 26 Rxd3 Bf5.
25 Kc3 Bf5 26 Bxf5 Rxd2 27 Be4
R8d4
An important preparatory move
as 27 ... Rxf2 28 b4 turns the tables.
28 b3 Rxf2 29 Rf3 Re2 30 Bd5 c6
31 Bxf7 Nb7 32 b4 Nd6 White
resigns
________
árD D Dri] Winning Move
à0pDn1 Dp]
ß DpDpD D] White to play. This position is from
Sochi 2017.
ÞD DpHpD ] Grachev-Potapov,
If Black is able to neutralise the powerful
Ý DP) D D] white knight on e5, much of White’s
ÜD D )PD ] advantage will evaporate. How did White
ÛP) D ! )] ensure this did not occur?
Ú$ D D $K] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
EASY
53
–4
MEDIUM
64
x 8 – 88 ÷ 4 + 58 x 3 + 96
HARDER
86
–8
+ 681 x 5 – 951
70%
OF IT
3/4
OF IT
+ 9 ÷ 12
– 873
4/5
OF IT
SQUARE 3/4
IT
OF IT
50%
OF IT
–7
x 3 – 44
+ 778 + 1/2 + 697
OF IT
6
Killer Moderate No 5676
9
15
7
20
11
6min
13
6
7
19
7
15
8
8
14
7
15
8
20
4
11
14
8
13
30
5
5
6
Killer Tough No 5677
5
15
17
23min
8
18
18
26
23
6
27
19
8
8
25
-
13
6
+
5
8 3
6
4
1 7
6
8 9
6 8 4 9 7
1 9 2 7
6 1 5
1
3
3 5
1 2
9
4 7
6
5
3 9
4
6
7
2
8
3
1
4
5
9
8
5
4
2
9
7
3
1
6
1
9
3
5
6
4
8
2
7
4
3
6
9
5
8
2
7
1
=
29
=
1
8
3
1
4
9
5
7
6
2
7
9
5
6
1
2
3
8
4
2
4
6
7
8
3
9
5
1
7
8
9
1
2
3
6
4
5
9
1
7
3
8
2
5
6
4
3
6
8
4
7
5
1
9
2
2
4
5
6
1
9
7
3
8
5
6
7
1
4
8
2
3
9
3
1
8
2
6
9
4
7
5
4
2
9
5
3
7
6
1
8
1
7
3
8
2
4
5
9
6
6
5
4
9
7
1
8
2
3
9
8
2
3
5
6
1
4
7
6 8 3
8 9 1
9 7
1 3
1 4 2
3 2 1
6
7
2
8
4
9
1
3
5
1
4
8
3
5
2
9
7
6
3
8
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
H E
X
L C
L
T U
D
P I
N
RG
E T
HO
E R
O
WA
P
QU E
N
A Z E
I
COP E
RR
A
YOUR
3
5
9
1
6
7
2
8
4
5
2
7
6
8
1
3
4
9
7
8
5
9
3
6
4
2
1
4
9
3
2
1
8
5
6
7
7
6
5
2
4
3
9
8
1
2
9
3
8
7
1
6
4
5
5
1
8
4
3
6
2
7
9
6
7
9
5
2
8
4
1
3
3
2
4
7
1
9
5
6
8
2
3
3 < 4
∨
2 > 1
∧
4
3 <
∨
5
2
1
1
∧
4
4
1
3
2
9
8
6
3
5
4
1
2
7
1
5
2
6
8
7
3
9
4
4
3
7
1
9
2
8
5
6
8
4
1
9
6
5
7
3
2
6
3
4
3
7
4
x
+
8
÷
5
5
5
4 > 3
5
3
-
1
6
9
x
÷
4
÷
2
+
x
S
4
5
9
2
6
7
3
1
8
1
6
3
5
8
4
7
2
9
7
2
8
1
3
9
5
4
6
8
4
6
3
7
1
9
5
2
9
7
2
4
5
8
1
6
3
5
3
1
9
2
6
4
8
7
2
9
4
8
1
3
6
7
5
6
1
5
7
9
2
8
3
4
3
8
7
6
4
5
2
9
1
F
I
N
C
U
N
U
K
Y
H
O
T
O
A
M
V
E
P
N
A
B
Lexica 3962
-
-
Suko 2057
D
A
R
E
D
Lexica 3961
Set Square 1983
8
Scrabble 1980
STEALTH F5
across (87)
HEADLAMP D12
down (84)
B
E
I
N
G
Sudoku 9387
2
6
1
4
7
5
8
9
3
Futoshiki 3021
2
2
4 4
S
U T
U
M
MP
Y
T
J
T A
M
SM
E
L D
8
3
6
5
9
4
7
1
2
2
22
I S T
O
U L T
P
P RO
E
V
R E E
R
D
S
U
T
S P A
K
T
Y I E
9
1
4
7
2
3
6
5
8
5
4
2
MO
L
AD
M
I M
S
S T
E
F A
R
U
I L
T
8 6
9 8 2
7 9 8
Killer 5675
KenKen 4147
12
8
=
20
Sudoku 9386
5
2
1
7
4
6
9
8
3
12
9
+
Codeword 3155
1 2 3
2 4 1
3 1
7 9
9 8 6
7 9 8
3
8
x
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
= 18 positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
works? We’ve
= 14 put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
Solutions
Cell Blocks 3038
22
+
All the digits
= 26 from 1-9 are
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
13
20
1
x
+
1
14
-
+
Killer 5674
12
2
-
7
Sudoku 9385
13
4
x
Kakuro 1980
21
20
13
3
5
x
Yesterday’s answers
elfin, fie, fief, fife, file, filo, fin, fine,
fino, foil, iff, info, ion, lei, lie, lief, lien,
life, line, lino, lion, loin, niff, nil, noil,
offie, offline, oil, olefin
23
4 4
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Set Square No 1984
From these letters, make words of
three or more letters, always
including the central letter. Answers
must be in the Concise Oxford
Dictionary, excluding capitalised
words, plurals, conjugated verbs (past
tense etc), adverbs ending in LY,
comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 11 words, average;
15, good; 20, very good; 25, excellent
7
6
3
10
5
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
There is much to be said for a flex- Dealer: West, Vulnerability: North-South
ible pre-empting style when in third
♠ 10 8 4 3 2
seat after two passes. The fourth Teams
♥A J 10 7 4
player is going to have a good hand
♦A 10
— make life awkward for him. And
♣6
partner will not take you too seri♠K J
♠9 7 6 5
N
ously (he is a passed hand). This
♥K 6
♥8 3
W E
deal from the World Transnational
♦5 4 3
S
♦Q 8 6 2
♣K J 10 5 4 3
Open Teams Championship in
♣Q 8 2
♠ AQ
Lyon is a case in point.
♥
Q
9
5
2
At Table One, East’s 3♣ opener
♦K J 9 7
removed N-S’s bidding space and
♣A 9 7
they landed in the poor spot of
Table One
3NT. Declarer held up the ace of
clubs until the third round then
S
W
N
E
played hearts in such a way as to
Pass
Pass
3♣(1)
minimise the chances of East, the
3NT(2) Pass
Pass(3) Pass
danger hand, winning. At trick
four, he led a heart to the ace (in (1) Phooey to the seventh club and the 11th
case East’s king was singleton) point when in third chair.
then led a second heart (hoping (2) Normal bid: not enough spades to douand a club stopper that can be held up
West held the king). East won the ble
the requisite number of times.
king and promptly cashed three (3) May try for a major-suit game (slam?)
more clubs. Down two.
but he’s guessing.
At Table Two, N-S had an
(almost free) run after East could Contract: 3NT, Opening Lead: ♣2
muster up only a 1♣ opener. After
a cultured sequence, the excellent
Table Two
6♥ slam was reached.
S
W
N
E
Declarer won trick one with the
Pass
Pass
1♣(1)
ace of clubs and passed the nine of
1NT
Pass
2♣(2) Pass
hearts (East may have opened
2♥
Pass
4♣(3) Pass
light in third chair, so the location
4NT(4) Pass
5♥ (4) Pass
of the king of hearts was far from
6♥
end
certain). East won the king and (1) Euckk.
switched to the jack of spades.
(2) Stayman — unusual with five-card
One finesse had lost. Declarer major(s) but North wants to find out
needed the other finesse to suc- whether there’s a ninth trump.
ceed. He played the queen of (3) Splinter bid, showing a heart slam try
spades and was delighted when it with club shortage.
held the trick. It was now an easy (4) With no wasted club pictures, South
matter to draw trumps, cash the asks for aces (answer: two).
ace of spades felling East’s king Contract: 6♥, Opening Lead: ♣2
and claim 12 tricks.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
The slam made, the game failed.
x2
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Former world champion Vladimir
Kramnik got off to a very poor
start in the Isle of Man International Masters. In round one he
succumbed to Fabiano Caruana
(see this column of September 30)
and then he proceeded to lose in
unexpected fashion against the
veteran American grandmaster
James Tarjan. Faced with this
crisis, Kramnik pulled himself
together and unleashed a powerful finishing sprint that enabled
him to share fourth prize with,
among others, Caruana and our
own Michael Adams. In today’s
game Kramnik strategically demolishes reigning British champion
Gawain Jones who, after a promising start, had the misfortune to
encounter two world-class rivals in
the closing rounds.
now comes up with an innovation
that casts justifiable doubt on
White’s dubious opening dispositions.
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Kramnik’s comeback
Cell Blocks No 3039
Brain Trainer
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Chess Raymond Keene
-
Quiz 1 Sir Mick Jagger 2 Corn Laws 3 William
Goldman 4 The Venetian Macao 5 Henry I
6 Broadchurch 7 Werner von Siemens 8 Guttapercha 9 John Glenn 10 Oxfordshire 11 A Song
of Ice and Fire by George RR Martin 12 William
Morris — though Philip Webb drew the birds
seen in the design 13 Deauville 14 400 not out —
scored against England in 2004 15 Slinky
M
A
Y
D
U
B
T
R
U
A
L
O
A
L
B
I
A
M
S
N
D
O
N
Word watch
Shakuhachi (a) A wooden
Japanese end-blown flute
Galligaskins (c) Loose
breeches, fashionable in
the 16th and 17th centuries
Shakudo (b) An alloy of
copper and gold having a
dark bluish-purple colour
Brain Trainer
Easy 20; Medium 838;
Harder 3,412
Chess 1 Qh4! leads to
a winning attack. The
main point is 1 ... Qxh4
2 Nf7 mate. Black tried
1 ... Nf6 but 2 Ng6+ Rxg6
3 Rxg6 wins easily
17.10.17
MindGames
Sudoku
Mild No 9388
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Difficult No 9389
8
7
Super fiendish No 9390
1
9
Shakuhachi
a A flute
b A martial art
c A Zen master
Galligaskins
a Water containers
b Rascals
c A pair of breeches
Shakudo
a A board game
b An alloy
c A wrestling move
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
Answers on page 15
2
PUZZLER MEDIA
6 7 8 9 1
1
6
1 4
3 8
6 5
8
2
1 4
1
4
6
4 7
2 1
2
9
7
8
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
1 9
7
8 4 5
6
2
8
8
3
3 7
2 9 6
5
4
8 4
1
5
3
12 Trellis (1862) was
the first wallpaper
designed by which
Arts and Crafts
movement leader?
15
6 The 11-year-old
murder victim,
Danny Latimer, was
found in which TV
drama’s first episode?
4 Located on the
Cotai Strip, what
is the world’s
largest casino?
7 Which German
industrialist
demonstrated the first
electric passenger
train in 1879?
5 Empress Matilda
(1102-67) was the
daughter of which
king of England?
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
8 Which Malayderived name describes
the coagulated latex
produced by the tree
Palaquium gutta?
9 In 1998, which Ohio
senator returned to
space on board the
shuttle Discovery?
10 Which county was
once divided into 14
hundreds, including
Banbury, Bullingdon
and Thame?
13 In 1913, Coco Chanel
opened a new boutique
in which fashionable
seaside resort, associated
with horse racing?
Yesterday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 940
14 Set by Brian Lara,
what is the highest
individual batting
score in Test cricket?
15 Which metal toy
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
3
4
5
8
6
7
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
20
19
22
23
21
OMP
R O
E I T
A
P U T
O O
N
D
R
EM I
R
B
A
O
U
N
SOD
T U
N
E
A
E R
T
H
L
C Y
N
G
A
E
I R P
O
AWA
P AM
A
A
RO L
M
L
AME
T
L F
E
A R
F
D
L A Y
E
E
T E R
by Izetti
9
10
I MP R
U
N
F OR F
P
O
COM
S
V E I
G
A C A D
U
P
CUR I
H O
OWN
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
The Times Quick Cryptic No 941
2
4 6
7
5 2 6
7
2 4
6
4
3 7 9
5
1
6
3
9 5
1
3 1
2
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
11 A Dream of Spring
will be the final
volume in which series
of fantasy novels?
3 Who won Oscars
for scripting Butch
Cassidy and the
Sundance Kid and All
the President’s Men?
6 4
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
1 Who released his
first solo album, She’s
the Boss, in 1985?
2 In 1843, James
Wilson founded
The Economist to
serve as a voice
against which laws?
1
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
1
4
1
Across
1 Crew members pack sets of
cards (9)
6 Witty saying that’s bowled
Thomas over (3)
8 Very with it, former dictator
offering health supplement? (7)
9 Present box, not opening (5)
10 What may release smoke in
YMCA’s kitchen disastrously
(12)
12 Ruin in a location for yachts
(6)
13 Girl of a skeletal nature, really
empty inside (6)
16 No boy demands silly
Victorian book (6,3,3)
19 Vehicle to travel, bringing load
(5)
20 Report offered by a cold
nobleman (7)
22 Put down amateur (3)
23 Terrible greed at an outdoor
refreshment venue (3,6)
Down
1 Daughter I have found in
disreputable den (4)
2
3
4
5
6
7
11
12
14
15
17
18
21
Animal about to land on the
lady who grabs something
moving? (7)
Meat for Noah’s son (3)
Stake placed between two card
players in French port (6)
Do press on somehow, given
external funding (9)
Mother entertains a female,
one in criminal outfit (5)
Old gaoler imprisoning some
number in country (7)
Fellow by exit finds vegetable
(9)
Award when one gets a
hundred in that examination
(7)
Old, big-bellied and pompous
(7)
After revolution a map
includes a new country (6)
Month in which to see king
and queen combine
harmoniously (5)
Shock when gimmicky
performance falls short (4)
Lunch always includes this
drink (3)
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