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The Times Times 2 - 18 October 2017

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October 18 | 2017
Oc
Mac attack
The trench is back
From left: bloggers
Darja Barannik and
Lisa Hahnbück; coat,
£125, stories.com
2
1GT
Wednesday October 18 2017 | the times
times2
times2
Our lives were
I’ve already negotiated
a swift exit from
Christmas this year
Hannah Betts
M
id-October is
the most popular
time of the
year for Brits
to book winter
sun escapes,
according to
a missive from
myvouchercodes.co.uk informing me
that more than a third of us long to
leave the country as we approach yule.
The obvious response to this is:
what, only a third? I booked my
Christmas exit — Chrexit, if you will
— on Sunday, and there will be no sun
involved, merely the joy of knowing
that I will be somewhere that
approaches the event in a spirit of
insouciant calm rather than our
hysterical consumer f***fest.
This December you’ll find me in
Berlin, largely at its archaeological
museums. Last year I spent the period
in Paris; the year before, Sicily. In
both there was the barest flicker of
subdued Christmas Eve excitement
and that was it — show’s over, nothing
to see, move along. We spotted one
Parisian boutique bearing a modest
strand of tinsel and that was all; no
shrieking sales posters, no 11th-hour
kleptomania, very little hoopla
altogether. Ye gods, it was a relief.
On the day itself we slept, read, made
lunch, then strolled off to the Opéra
Garnier to see the not remotely festive
Iphigénie en Tauride, almost as if it
were a day on which we might
actually experience pleasure.
For pain, rather than pleasure, lies
at the heart of the British Christmas.
We are told it is about family — or,
as I like to refer to them, “those
shit-stirring psychopaths who live to
mess with your head” — and so it is,
in the most grotesquely internecine of
manners. Last week the Hollywood
star Mila Kunis revealed that she and
her partner, Ashton Kutcher, have
already imposed a “one-gift” rule for
their offspring in an attempt to rein in
the great grandparental deluge. Good
luck with that, pretty people.
Present negotiation is merely
one among many elements in the
diplomatic shitstorm regarding whose
“turn” it is, location, guest lists, dietary
requirements and postprandial
entertainment. And those are
themselves merely the anguished
Dolphins
are just
sex pests
Yesterday The Times’s
front page featured a
story announcing that
“dolphins . . . are even
cleverer than we
backdrop to the festering melodrama
that another serial abstainer describes
as “everyone doing what they do best”.
As young parents of too many
children, every year my late mother
and father were guilted into driving
200 miles to do the deed in Torquay
because my not particularly aged
grandparents “might die soon”,
an argument that was still going
strong three decades later. When
the time came to exert her own
terrible pull, my mother upped the
ante in the manner of some Doctor
Who-style monster that thrived off
the bad energy of Christmas. Her
first inquiry as to where we were
“spending it” would be issued on
the August bank holiday.
From then on the drama was
incessant — it was on! It was off! They
were going away! No one was invited!
— until by December 24 she had us
where she wanted us: collectively
broken, fit only to sit drooling while
she insisted she’d “never do it again”.
Recriminations continued into early
March, by which point it was almost
time to start again. Tragically, when
she cancelled her final festivities
because she felt so ill, at first no one
realised she was dying, but thought
she was merely up to her old tricks.
Still, the guilt we feel over this is very
much in the spirit of Betts Christmas.
And so, as taxi drivers start asking
what one is “doing for it”, yuletide
ads appear before Hallowe’en,
and the great frenzy over booking
a December 24 Ocado slot lurches
into being, I have one thought for
you: opt out now. You have nothing
to lose but your (paper) chains.
thought”, to which my
response is: “Yeah,
whevs.” Dolphins may
be the creature that
mankind loves to
anthropomorphise as
being better, brainier
and bouncier than
itself, but I have long
harboured a loathing
for these perky losers.
We like to imagine
they are endeavouring
to communicate — in
fact, they are trying to
hump us. In my very
first week at The Times,
back in 1924, some poor
chap was prosecuted
for an indecent act
with a dolphin, despite
said mammal being
the instigating party.
Dolphins are the
terriers of the sea.
The only clever thing
An energetic PhD student at Harvard,
Jennifer Brea had her life shattered by
ME. Now she has made a film about her
slow recovery. By Damian Whitworth
From
Russia
with love
One event for which
I will certainly not be
a refusenik is tonight’s
bash at Pushkin House
to commemorate the
centenary of the
Russian Revolution.
My passion for this
Bloomsbury institution
obviously has
everything to do
with its being a
bastion of culture,
and no connection
to its surplus of
razor-cheeked chaps,
all of whom turn out to
be concert pianists.
Where better to
observe the similarities
between Brits and
the Russkies, which
transcend even the
present Cold War
reboot? For both issue
from massive former
empires preoccupied
with tea, queueing,
extreme boozing,
country estates and
talking about the
weather. Not to
mention sharing
Shakespeare and
Chekhov, the same
royal family and
a sense of humour
whereby things can be
uproariously funny and
blisteringly sad.
I spent my entire
teens swanning about
in black, claiming
to be a nihilist, in
mourning for my life.
While those who
maintain that we
have “never had a
revolution” should
reacquaint themselves
immediately with their
17th-century history.
about these reprobates
is how they convince us
to collude in getting
them off.
Come the revolution,
when the finned ones
renounce balancing
things on their noses
for world domination, I
will welcome my status
as first against the wall.
Carol Midgley is away
A
s Jennifer Brea’s
chronic illness
worsened and she
spent more and
more time confined
to bed, she became
increasingly active
in her dreams.
“Every night I’d have these incredibly
kinetic dreams. I was flying or running
up mountains. I’d wake up in the
morning and realise that I was still in
the same bedroom, and many
mornings felt really disappointed that
I was still alive.”
Brea has ME, or myalgic
encephalomyelitis, also known as
chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), a
condition that remains largely as
mysterious and incurable as it was
when it was first described in Britain
in the 1950s. Estimates vary, but
between 190,000 and 250,000 people
in the UK are believed to have ME
and between 836,000 and 2.5 million
in the US, many undiagnosed.
While studying for a PhD at
Harvard in 2011 Brea had a fever with
a temperature of 104F. She recovered,
but suffered subsequent colds or sore
throats that would be followed by a
period when she felt debilitated. She
was a keen cyclist and skier, but if she
pushed herself physically she would
crash and end up in bed for days. Then
weeks. Then months.
In a restaurant one day she found
herself staring at the bill for ten
minutes, unable to comprehend why
she couldn’t sign her name. Her
neurological symptoms got worse. Her
brain would sometimes feel as if it
were misfiring. A neurologist
suggested she was suffering from
conversion disorder, or what we used
to call hysteria, and that the root of the
problem lay in childhood trauma that
she couldn’t remember. Eventually she
was diagnosed with ME by one of the
world’s leading experts.
ME is more common in women
than in men and develops most often
when patients are in their
mid-twenties to mid-forties. It has no
known cause, but may be triggered
by infections. Problems with the
immune system, hormone imbalances,
mental-health issues and genes may
also be causes.
If that isn’t vague enough, there is
also a broad range of symptoms,
including extreme tiredness, a general
sense of ill health, sleep problems,
muscle pain, headaches, irregular or
fast heartbeats and difficulty
remembering or concentrating.
Physical exertion often makes people
with ME feel worse.
Brea, who travelled the world before
she became ill, likens herself to a
battery that over the past five years
has on occasions been able to charge
to only 5 or 10 per cent. When she
tried to go for a short walk on a trip
to Seattle she crashed and was in
bed for the next nine months.
Sometimes she could not speak or had
to crawl up the stairs in her home.
Some of these episodes are captured
in Unrest, a film she made about
herself and other ME sufferers to
highlight what she believes is an often
misunderstood, under-researched and
ill-funded illness. She is also the
co-founder of ME Action, an
international network of patients.
“There is an extra pain of being
physically debilitated and not having
your community rally around you
because you can’t explain what
is going on,” she says during a trip
to London this week for the launch
of her film. “We all have some idea
what cancer is or what MS looks like.
To have something like this, where
there is no story — or if there is a
story it’s the wrong one — and to
realise all these people who got
sick in the Eighties are still sick and
still homebound and still not working
I had to find
an incredible
mental fortitude
to survive
and understand that my chances [of
getting better] against five years or
fifty years ago are identical I think is
pretty shocking.”
In the documentary, which won an
award at the Sundance Film Festival,
Brea, 35, describes her life with ME
as like dying, but being forced to watch
as the world moves on. Her husband,
Omar Wasow, says their lives have
been “frozen in this sickness amber”.
Others are similarly trapped. Jessica
Taylor, from Kent, who fell ill when
she was 15 and has had ME for 11
years, is filmed putting her foot on the
floor for the first time after being
bedridden for eight years.
The camera also takes us into the
darkened bedroom of Whitney, once
an adventurous photographer, now in
his thirties. He is unable to speak and
lies inert in bed. His father, Ron Davis,
the director of Stanford University’s
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome Research
Center, is at the forefront of the hunt
for answers to the many questions
about ME.
When Brea woke on those mornings
and was disappointed to find herself
alive, she was not depressed, she says.
“I have been depressed before in my
life, feeling like everything is grey and
sucks and having dark thoughts. I was
never depressed [with ME]. It was
more a rational calculation: this is
getting so bad and I just keep getting
worse that at some point I think I am
going to have to euthanise myself. I
don’t want to. I don’t want to die.”
Brea married Wasow, an assistant
professor of politics at Princeton
the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
3
1GT
times2
times2
frozen by chronic fatigue
MAARTEN DE BOER/GETTY IMAGES
have ME”. At the moment the NHS
lists cognitive behavioural therapy
(CBT) and graded exercise therapy as
the first two treatments for CFS/ME
sufferers to consider.
In America the Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention has removed
these treatments from its website. Nice
(the National Institute for Health and
Care Excellence) said last month that
it would review its guidelines on
diagnosis and management of the
illness. Brea says that CBT can help
sufferers of chronic illnesses to adapt
to their new reality, but it is being used
to help people to overcome their fear
of exercising again in an often crude
way. This leads to them overexerting
and suffering worse symptoms. “It’s as
if you had a national guideline that
recommended that diabetics eat sugar
to feel better.”
She is dismissive of the view that
ME could be psychosomatic. “When
If I make a
mistake I end
up in bed for two
or three days
University, in the early stages of her
illness after telling him that he didn’t
need to go through with the wedding.
“I told him, ‘This is not what you signed
up for and I don’t want you to stay with
me out of a sense of obligation.’ ”
He stuck by her and the film shows
him being incredibly patient as
she experiments with numerous
outlandish potential treatments. “The
reality is that we are just very well
suited for each other and chronic
illness is an incredible stress on a
relationship and either breaks it or
forges it.”
Nevertheless, coming to terms with
an illness that may never end has been
tough. “So much of being chronically
ill is about grieving for yourself and
the expectations that you had for
yourself. I had to find an incredible
amount of mental fortitude to survive.”
Brea hopes one day that she will be
able to have children, but one of the
medications she is taking has also
been linked to birth defects. Taking
antiviral drugs has improved her
cognitive abilities so that she can work
for ten hours a day on her laptop and
read documents, but she can’t absorb
a whole book. “The last book I read
was Atonement [by Ian McEwan] five
or six years ago. If I start to read
something of that length I start to
feel what I can only describe as
inflammation of my brain and I have
a sense of post-exertional malaise in
my brain and I won’t be able to use it
for hours or days.”
After conducting hundreds of
experiments on herself, focusing
on diet and environmental factors,
she found that reducing her exposure
ure
to mould improved how she felt.
She eventually took the radical
decision to move from the east
coast of the US to Los Angeles
in search of drier air. Wasow
shuttles between California and
his job in New Jersey.
Sitting cross-legged in the front
room of a friend’s London house,
Brea says that Britain’s lack of
investment in research into ME and
d
its guidelines on how to treat the
illness make this “not an easy place to
Jennifer Brea with her
husband, Omar Wasow,
and, below, in Unrest
we don’t have either clear explanations
or clear treatments we kind of ascribe
[illnesses] to the realm of the soul
because we are powerless but have a
desire to explain.”
Wasow says that when his wife’s
illness began he read a book about
hysteria and wondered if the illness
was in her head, but as tests came
back and he observed her pain he
changed his mind. “I chose to accept
that she is a more credible witness to
what is going on in her body than a
random author on Amazon.”
In the absence of celebrity
figureheads for ME campaigns or
$100 million donations to research
projects, Brea is putting her faith in
drugs that have been approved for
other conditions being used in trials
on ME patients.
Drugs and her own experimentation
have pushed her battery up to about
40 per cent capacity. “I don’t waste
time any more. Every ounce of
capacity I have is precious.” She knows
how to avoid overexerting herself and
“if I make a mistake I end up in bed
for two or three days as opposed to
two or three months. So I don’t have
true freedom, but I can get on a plane
and fly across the world”.
Still, our one-hour conversation,
during which she is animated and
often smiles, and a walk up and down
a flight of stairs, knocks her out for the
rest of the afternoon. From her bed
sends me a long email because she
she sen
can’t remember what we discussed.
A woman at a screening of Unrest
who
wh was preparing to go to
university
explained her dilemma.
u
“When
I listen to my body I
“
betray
my dreams,” she said. “And
b
when
I follow my dreams I betray
w
my
m body.” Brea told her:
“Sometimes
you have to live and
“S
then you pay for it. If you don’t, then
what are you doing with your life?”
Unrest is released at selected
cinemas
cinem on Friday; unrest.film
The lowdown
Dirty John
What a total dog. Can you believe
men like that exist and we have to
hear about them all the time?
There are a lot of people you could
be talking about. You’ll have to help
me out.
Dirty John, obviously!
Another man to stay on the alert for.
Who is he?
The subject of the hottest new true
crime podcast. You can’t move for
hearing people talk about it. It’s the
new Serial.
Go on.
Dirty John’s real name is John
Meehan. He’s a middle-aged
steroidal hustler posing as a
“freelance anaesthetist” who cons
his way into the heart and life of
Debra Newell, a naive interior
designer who has been divorced
multiple times. He lures her by
posting topless selfies of his beefy
torso on a dating website and Debra
is immediately, tragically hooked.
Ooooh.
Indeed. It’s very pacey too — six
episodes packed with juicy detail.
And, ahem, it’s journalistically
watertight and really very well
reported. Which is what I’m really
listening to it for.
Of course. Can’t help but wonder:
man with super-jacked muscles,
interior designer. . . this wouldn’t be
set in California, would it?
Absolutely, in Orange County no
less, and it’s very much in the
tradition of the region.
Everyone speaking has that thing
where their voice goes up at the end
of every sentence? And everything
sounds kind of like a question? Even
when it’s not?
Yes, but I meant more in terms of
the drama. There are secrets
uncovered, lawyers involved, mud
slung, seductions, drugs, elaborate
disguises and lots of violence. And
you know what the worst thing is?
What?
You’ll be devastated when the
podcast ends and you don’t have to
spend time with him any more.
That’s it.
What?
I’m updating the spreadsheet. I’m
adding “middle-aged freelance
anaesthetist” to my long list of men
to avoid. And downloading the
podcast. For research. Of course.
Helen Nianias
4
1GT
Wednesday October 18 2017 | the times
fashion
fashion
Practical can be pretty —
Boden breaks out the bling
I
It’s tweed but not
as we know it, says
Anna Murphy, as
embellishments
give the British
classic a lift
give you, as an illustration of
how on-the-nose the Boden
Icons collection is, the perfect
coat and the perfect dress. Let’s
deal with the coat first. It is
tweed — this season’s breakout
fabric, if one can describe a
fabric that has been around
since the 18th century as breakout.
(Which, such is the wilful deracination
of much of the fashion world, is the
kind of thing it is wont to do.)
But it is British milled wool tweed
with added fairy dust in the form of
that razzle-dazzle of bronze sequins
at the shoulder and sleeve.
Embellished tweed is even more
of a thing this season, and given that
paillettes weren’t big on the Isle of
Harris back in the day, I guess it really
is fair to say that this is a breakout.
Whatever. It’s one of my favourite
coats of the season (£350, boden.co.uk).
The silk georgette Winifred dress
is another winner in the 21-piece
collection (£280), although I am
finding it hard to choose between this
contrast-floral take and the equally
Normcore looks
boring without a
bit of extra TLC
covetable contrast-plain, which is
forest-green and navy with a blush
trim. And there is plenty more that’s
juicy, such as the richly embroidered
velvet slides (£150) and the black with
bronze frogging jacket and pencil skirt
(£300 and £200 respectively).
Ornamentation is at the heart of
the collection. And all this from a
brand that usually stocks our drawers
with all those great basics, from
bretons to chinos. Why sally forth into
the gloriously nonsensical world of the
blinged-up slide?
Well, putting those slides to one
side, the embellished Icons pieces
are as practical as they are pretty.
Practical doesn’t have to mean boring.
This was a lesson it took me a while to
learn, but I now have a PhD in the
subject. I am all about a pimped-up
anything these days, as long as that
anything is an anything out of which
I know I will get the wear.
Embellishment. At first it requires a
mind shift. If you are in your forties or
older, I posit that, like me, you tend to
see add-ons, be they sequins or
embroidery or both, as something
saved for best. This is because when
we came of age as shoppers, normal
shops for people with normal budgets
did not have this stuff in them. And
even the posh shops that did
saved that ornamentation for
eveningwear. You might have
found some sequins on a
velvet opera cape back then,
but not on a day-destined
tweed Crombie.
I would go as far as to say
that one of the biggest
changes in fashion for the
real world over the past
decade has been the rise
of embellishment. Jeans,
khaki jackets, even the
aforementioned bretons, are
now — courtesy of a sparkle
here, a bit of cross-stitch
there — rendered ready to
go to the ball.
Why? Partly it’s because production
d ti n
costs have gone down, so it’s possible
to deliver at a lower price point.
Partly it’s to do with the rise of
normcore and the fact that wearable,
practical clothes — which is what
most of us spend most of our lives in
— can look boring if you don’t give
them a bit of extra TLC.
And could it also be to do with
something else? Is ours a particularly
pattern-obsessed era? An estimated
20 million British people have at least
one tattoo. We are embellishing our
bodies as well as our clothes rails. Just
as this coat is made 75 times more
noteworthy courtesy of those sequins,
doesn’t an inking represent an attempt
to render one’s physical self special?
Isn’t a tattoo, in other words, merely
another attempt to embellish an escape
route out of our normcore lives?
That’s not the only explanation,
according to a study into the increased
popularity of tattooing by Jeff Murray
at the University of Arkansas. “We
continue to be struck by rapid and
unpredictable change,” Murray says.
“The result is a loss of personal
anchors needed for identity. We
found that tattoos provide this
anchor. Their popularity reflects
a need for stability, predictability,
permanence and identity.”
Interesting stuff. Still, I am most
definitely not in the market for an
inking, you will probably be relieved
to hear. This coat is all I need to —
ahem — burnish my identity for the
winter ahead.
Instagram: @annagmurphy
Style isn’t all
Carolina Herrera has dressed everyone
from Jackie Onassis to Melania Trump.
A full-length mirror is the secret to
looking good, she tells Anna Murphy
I
Boden’s embellished
tweed coat and, below,
the GG Marmont
shoulder bag
No skills shortage here
If there is one designer
who has understood
the contemporary
desire for bells and
whistles, it’s Alessandro
Michele at Gucci.
Here’s a man who
hasn’t met a pair of
loafers or a bag he
couldn’t encrust into
the stratosphere.
Memorialising his
eclectic vision from
the start has been the
portraitist Unskilled
Worker, a Londoner
in her fifties called
Helen Downie, who
has nearly 250,000
followers on Instagram.
She started depicting
people in Gucci garb,
she tells me, “because
of the stories the
clothes conjured up
in my mind”.
It was no doubt only
a matter of time before
Michele, a fan of
collaborations, asked
her to create a
collection with him.
Her charming
faux-naif illustrations
have been used over
a range of clothing
and accessories.
The GG Marmont
shoulder bag is £1,050,
the bow brooch —
a Michele signature
that has appeared in
countless Downie
paintings — £315
(gucci.com).
encounter Carolina Herrera
several times at the New York
headquarters of her fashion
house before I actually meet her.
Herrera by Andy Warhol.
Herrera by Robert
Mapplethorpe. The walls are
lined with renderings of the
designer by some of art’s biggest
names. Finally, in her office, I come
face to face with Herrera by Herrera.
She doesn’t disappoint, this vision of
all that is soignée, proof positive that
if you have top-notch taste — not to
mention a topper-notch budget —
age really is just a number. Herrera’s
number is 78, but who cares?
Looking this good is not about
money, Herrera insists. “I see a lot
of women who don’t have money,
who don’t spend, and they look chic
beyond,” says the designer, her
Venezuelan accent as beruffled as
the shirts that once earned her the
moniker Our Lady of the Sleeves.
“And I see a lot of women who spend
a lot of money, who buy everything
they see, and don’t look good.”
Instead it’s about that elusive quality
known as style, which Herrera has
been delivering to her wealthy clients
for 36 years, and her less wealthy ones
via the diffusion line CH, which
launched in 2008, and — more
notionally, but lucratively — via a
successful perfume range. (The
brand is owned by the Spanish
perfume conglomerate Puig.)
Even Herrera may struggle
to sum up just what style is —
“It’s difficult to define. It’s not
what you are wearing, but
how you are wearing it. It’s
a personal thing that
reflects what you are” —
but she knows what it isn’t.
“I don’t want to show halfnaked women because it
is a trend and because
everyone else is doing it.
I want women to look
beautiful. I am in the
beauty business, not
the fashion business.”
Herrera insists she
is anything but snooty
about clothes. She is
just back from Madrid,
where she had a good
riffle around Zara and
Massimo Dutti. “I
always say that all the
fashion designers in the
world are working for
Zara,” she says, laughing.
“We are all working for
Amancio Ortega [the
founder of the Inditex
group].” And how does
she feel when she sees her
designs copied in his
stores? “I feel happy
because it means it’s a great
success. Zara is going to sell
it everywhere.” For the record,
Herrera bought “some pretty
embroidered slides” on her most
recent visit. “Fashion is about knowing
how to mix from here, from there.”
When we meet it’s the day after her
spring/summer show, a colour-soaked
line-up of dresses, dresses, dresses. It’s
the dress, says Herrera, that is every
woman’s best friend. “What does every
woman look good in? Whatever her
age and size? A dress. It’s not a pair of
jeans. It’s a dress.” Surely it’s not that
I see women who
spend a lot of
money, but they
don’t look good
simple. Not quite. “You have to get the
proportions right. The dress shouldn’t
wear you. You should wear the dress.”
Before you buy the dress you need to
acquire what Herrera insists is “the
most essential accessory a woman can
have: a full-length mirror. And you
stand in front of it and ask, ‘What do I
need? What is wrong with me?’ ”
Herrera argues that many
contemporary catwalk designers don’t
serve their customers. “They do
these deconstructed clothes where
one shoulder is here,” she says,
gesturing towards her scapula,
“and the other here [she points to
her ankle]. Do women in the
world dress in this crazy way?
No. It is just to shock people,
to get the press to write
about them. You shouldn’t
confuse your client.”
Confusion is a word
she uses a lot. She
believes that
confused is what lots
of women are left feeling
by
b the whirligig of trends. I
think she’s right. Too many of
us lose our way trying to follow
other people’s ideas of what’s
“in”, rather than developing a
proper knowledge about
what works for us.
“Jackie Onassis knew
exactly what was going
to look good on her,”
Herrera says. “She
was a close friend.
I did a lot of things
for her. If you look
at the old
photographs
of her, she
still looks
good
for now.
She knew
exactly
what she
liked. She was
li
never confused.”
the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
5
1GT
fashion
fashion
about money — I shop at Zara
REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; SPLASH NEWS
fashion existed. It’s not like today
when you see a seven-year-old and
they are carrying a Chanel bag.”
The young Herrera may have spent
her time in a shirt and jodhpurs
(surely an influence on that later
shirt’n’skirt combo), yet she was
exposed to Clothes with a capital C
from an early age, before birth in fact.
She shows me a framed photo of her
mother in floor-length ruffled tiers, six
months pregnant with Carolina. “All
the women in my family were well
dressed. You witness it. You grow up
with it. Your eye accustoms to pretty
things, to very well-made dresses,
inside and out.”
She was in her mid-teens when
she first fell in love with a dress, which
she saw in one of her adored black
and white films. “It was black,
strapless, a ball gown, on one of those
beautiful stars. I wanted that dress.
So I designed it for myself. I wanted
to be a vamp, even though I looked
about ten years old.”
And she took her design to a tailor?
“To my couturier,” she replies
seamlessly. “I said, ‘Can you do this for
me?’ And I explained it to him.” And
so it began. Herrera would conjure up
an idea of something she wanted to
wear, usually something at odds with
what everyone else was wearing — “I
would think, ‘Ahh, you are all wearing
that, I am going to wear the other’ ” —
and her couturier would make it for
her. “I still don’t even know how to
sew on a button,” Herrera says,
Carolina Herrera with her daughters. Left: Taylor Swift and, right, Renée
Zellweger, the Duchess of Cambridge and Lupita Nyong’o in Carolina Herrera
One of Herrera’s signature looks
is a crisp white shirt worn with a
full skirt. It is out in force in the
autumn/winter collection and she
has worn it herself year after year,
looking fabulous in it. So does anyone
else I have seen attired similarly. It’s
simple, it works, it’s — I hereby
declare — style. Fashion can just be a
plain shirt and skirt — it doesn’t have
to be a headache. So why does the
industry turn it into one? Why do we?
“For me it’s important to innovate
without shocking,” says Herrera. It’s
this nonconformist approach that puts
her at odds with many in the catwalk
game. As the influential fashion
industry critic Bridget Foley of
Women’s Wear Daily once observed: “If
you consider a rebel someone who
stands firm against the status quo no
matter how solitary her position,
Herrera is James Dean. Especially
during show season.” Except Herrera is
a rebel with a cause, one of making
women look better than they otherwise
might in clothes that are classic but
interesting, and that seem to endow on
the wearers a kind of sartorial soft
focus. No wonder she is a favourite
with the more stately kind of celebrity,
be it the Duchess of Cambridge, Queen
Letizia of Spain, Renée Zellweger or —
er — Melania Trump.
Herrera’s four daughters are a
chip off the proverbial block —
now. “They are all wonderful, but
the two little ones, Patricia and
Carolina, are particularly stylish,”
Herrera says. It wasn’t always thus.
She recalls staging an intervention
during Carolina Jr’s teenage years.
“I said, ‘Darling, not police shoes
and a miniskirt.’ ”
Patricia and Carolina Jr — both
now in their forties — work for the
brand and appear to the layperson to
embody it perfectly. Herrera still has
her forensic eye trained on them,
though. “They complain that I am
always complaining about their hair,”
she says, laughing. “Or asking them,
‘Why are you wearing those shoes
with that dress?’ They say, ‘Oh,
Mammy, what do you know?’ ” The
answer is rather a lot.
Herrera grew up among the elite
of Caracas, riding ponies, playing
tennis and being taught by her mother
to remember everything in a room
after she had left it. (“It was an
extraordinary training in observation.
My eyes learnt early on to look for
beauty.”) But sport, the outdoor life,
was her thing. “The most important
people in my life were the tennis pro
and the people who helped me to get
on to my horse. I didn’t even know
laughing. “You have to know, in a
fashion house, how to delegate.”
Cut to 25 years later, when Herrera
was 40 and — with her second
husband, Reinaldo — a darling of
the New York social scene. This was
when, having sought advice from none
other than Diana Vreeland, a family
friend, she decided to channel all those
years of commissioning her own
clothes into launching her own label.
“Vreeland was my mentor. An
extraordinary woman. Not only the
way she looked, which was very exotic,
but the way she talked. She was a
young mind. She wanted to know
everything that was going on.”
Herrera was thinking about
designing fabrics. Vreeland declared
that idea “boring” and told her to do
You need to know
how to delegate.
I still can’t sew
on a button
fashion. Other friends were initially
unconvinced. “I used to wear Halston’s
clothes to dinners at his house and to
Studio 54 and all that. And I went to
him before he died and said, ‘I’m going
to become a designer.’ And he looked
at me and said, ‘What have you been
drinking? Are you crazy?’ ” But he and
her fellow designer friend Bill Blass
were ultimately supportive.
The fashion press gave Herrera a
rougher ride after her first collection
in 1981. As Bianca Jagger — another
chum, of course — once recalled:
“Some people thought she was just
another society lady designing
clothes.” Which, in one sense, is
precisely what she was, and precisely
why she knew better than most
what other society ladies wanted
to wear. “Some of my critics
said, ‘She is going to do it for
a year or two, and then she is
going to get tired and she is going
to retire,’ ” Herrera recalls. “I
am so happy to be here 36
years later.”
Herrera has got countless
sartorial aphorisms up those
famous sleeves of hers, all of
which imply that getting it right
clothes-wise is not so impossible
after all. “The easiest way to look
older is to dress young,” she quips.
Today she is wearing a denim
shirt dress, but she says she
would never wear jeans. “They
llook good on young girls, but when
you reach a certain age you have to
change — no?”
She talks disparagingly of the
social-media-fuelled obsession with
image, and the resultant one-note
nature of celebrity, her other
specialist subject.
“At Studio 54 people mixed in a
different way; there were writers,
photographers, painters, great minds.
The minds thing is very important.
Now it’s just one group of celebrities
and nothing else. Back then we were
surrounded by the world.”
Instagram: @timesfashiondesk
the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
7
1GT
fashion
fashion
Get your
(trench) coat
£420, claudie
pierlot.com
Belted? Oversized?
The mac is back,
but how will you
wear yours, asks
Rachael Dove
On the catwalks
the trench barely
looked like a coat
favourite was the half-on-half-off
trick, where only one side of the coat
is worn, secured by a well-wrapped
belt, while the other half is left flailing.
Think the Duchess of Cambridge
wearing her Burberry number neatly
buttoned and belted, then think of
the extreme opposite and you are on
the right track.
Back in the real world, this is all
good news. It’s not often that an item
as practical — and, whisper it,
comfortable — as a trench coat
becomes fashion’s beating heart.
We’ve got Demna Gvasalia to thank.
The Georgian designer behind the
labels Balenciaga and Vetements has
turned a roll call of our humdrum
COVER & BELOW ; GETT
Y IMAGES; REX/SHUT
TERSTOCK
B
reaking news from
fashionland: the trench
coat is in. Was it ever
out? You may not have
taken yours off since
Lauren Hutton wore one
in American Gigolo in
1980. But the front rows
of fashion’s recent merry-go-month of
catwalk shows were a swathe of that
distinctive shade of trench-coat beige,
and when editors and street-stylers —
whose currency is their usually outré
style — are dressed the same, you
know that something is afoot.
Before you reach for your old
reliable, you should know that the
trench has had a 2017 makeover. In
fact, on the autumn/winter catwalks
it barely looked like a coat at all.
Trenches came spliced with thick
padding in a half-coat, half-duvet
concoction at Vetements, and hung off
the body in layers of pleats and ruffles
at Maison Margiela. At Burberry —
one of two labels, with Aquascutum,
that claim to have invented the trench
coat for soldiers in the First World War
— designs were rendered in “soft
touch” polyurethane plastic in
candyfloss shades of pink and blue.
On the pavements outside,
fashionistas seemed to be competing
to see who could rustle up the most
inventive way to wear their trench,
with results so diverse that they
made “shrobing” (wearing your coat
without your arms in the sleeves)
look positively passé. A particular
£160,
topshop.com
wardrobe essentials — anoraks,
padded jackets, recycled denim jeans
— into high-fashion must-haves.
His Balenciaga trench is front-row
catnip, recognisable because it fastens
skewwhiff on the shoulder with an air
of straitjacket about it. Whether it
would fly at the school gates is
another matter (£1,895, stylebop.com).
Even if you choose not to spend two
grand on a Balenciaga number, part of
the trench coat’s enduring appeal is
that it looks expensive. A case in point
is Marks & Spencer’s pure cotton style,
which is a favourite with the British
front row and costs only £79
(marksandspencer.com).
When you are shopping, stick to
shades of almond, caramel and cream.
“It’s flattering on all skin tones,” says
Ellie Pithers, the fashion features
editor of Vogue, who rates the
offerings from APC and Lemaire.
“I consider trenches the sartorial
equivalent of concealer. That nice
angular neckline gives a potentially
sagging jaw strong definition too.”
You’ll find plenty on offer on
the high street, though a special
shout-out goes to the Japanese
brand Uniqlo, whose trenches
come with an alluring price tag.
Look out for two brilliant styles
made in collaboration with two
brilliant designers: the first a
reversible tartan trench, by the
Above right: a guest at
Milan Fashion Week.
Below, from left: the
model Montana Cox;
a guest at New York
Fashion Week; the
blogger Laura Comolli
pacey London label JW Anderson
(£139.50), the second dark beige with
a hood, by the sleek Frenchman
Christophe Lemaire (£109.90, both
uniqlo.com).
Calf-skimming, oversized styles
may be all the rage with the fashion
elite, but if your body doesn’t fit the
lithe’n’lean mould, trench coats can
prove much trickier. If you are curvy
or on the short side, the key is to steer
clear of stiff gabardine fabric, because
you run the risk of looking swamped
or like a tent. Instead opt for soft
flowing fabrics, such as wool and silk
or cotton blends. I like Harris Wharf’s
100 per cent wool number in cream
(£435, atterley.com), as well as Winser
London’s A-line style, which moves
and feels like silk, but is made from
a showerproof fabric (£195,
winserlondon.com).
If you are petite, seek out styles
that cut well above the knee, such as
J Crew’s Petite Icon, which skims the
bottom (£328, jcrew.com), or Gap’s
New Classic (£69.95, gap.co.uk). Belt
very loosely, or not at all, to ensure a
lengthening streamlined shape.
Those with a large bust are better
suited to single-breasted styles, and
it’s a good idea to stay away from
attention-grabbing storm flaps or
epaulettes. Community Clothing’s
trench, made from Rochdale waxed
cotton and manufactured in
Blackburn, is lovely — but buy
a leather belt or scarf to nip it
in at the waist, drawing the eye
to your smallest point (£129,
selfridges.com).
When the weather really starts
to bite, do as the Scandi fashion
editors do and add a leather jacket
underneath, or follow the Italians
with a thin black puffer jacket.
A final word on styling: leave the
off-the-shoulder shrug to women in
their twenties. Its nonchalance looks
conversely try-hard, and Lauren
Hutton wouldn’t approve.
Instagram: @rachael_dove
8
1GT
Wednesday October 18 2017 | the times
arts
Faith, burkinis and
blockbuster shows: the
gospel of Saint Neil
As he launches his radio series about religion, Neil MacGregor talks to
Catherine Nixey about life after leaving the British Museum for Germany
I
f prophets were ever to turn from
predicting apocalypse and
earthquakes to anticipating
Radio 4 schedules, they would
surely have prophesied this.
Next Monday, Neil MacGregor,
the former director of the
British Museum, begins a 30-part
series on religion on Radio 4, Living
with the Gods.
The whiff of incense has always
hung around MacGregor. Partly it’s
those nigh-on miraculous powers: he
raised a flailing British Museum from
the dead and turned it into a place of
international pilgrimage. Partly it’s his
Presbyterian profile; in another era,
you could imagine that square-jawed,
narrow-nosed face thundering from a
pulpit. He is often described as
“devout”. And then, of course, there’s
his nickname among the British
Museum staff: Saint Neil.
I meet him in what was once the
house of the director of the British
Museum, part of the main building
that has been converted into offices.
MacGregor is one of three “founding
directors” at the new Humboldt
Forum in Berlin. The three directors
share curatorial responsibility for the
new museum and its opening
exhibitions and events. (It has been
reported that Angela Merkel helped
to persuade him to take the job.)
In an odd German exchange his
place at the British Museum has been
taken by Hartwig Fischer, the former
head of a Dresden collection.
MacGregor has nevertheless been
allowed to pop back to collaborate
with his old museum for this BBC
series (though he’s not involved with
the associated exhibition).
Saint Neil looks appropriately
embarrassed at the mention of his
nickname. “I think it’s a myth. I don’t
think anybody ever said it. I think
it’s a textual error, which slipped into
the canon. Ridiculous.”
Be that as it may, MacGregor and
his new series feel a very comfortable
fit. And then you listen to it. From the
Démolition du Temple
de Charenton from the
series Les Petites
Conquêtes du Roi.
Right: Neil MacGregor
first moments, it is clear that this is
less easy Anglicanism than
anthropology. Humans, he explains in
the first programme, like to make
patterns. They bring us satisfaction,
pleasure and comfort. Religion, he
implies, is a result of all that patternmaking: a pattern not just in objects,
but events; the grandest pattern of all.
“That search for a grand narrative is
what this series is about.”
The gods didn’t make us then. Our
overwired brains made them. So
where would he draw the line between
religion and storytelling? The answer
is surprising. “Why would you draw
a line?”
We are sitting at a large table in a
handsome room with big sash
windows and blue walls. It’s the sort
of room in which, if this were a
costume drama, you might dance
a quadrille after dinner. While
director of the museum, MacGregor
had the right to live here, but he
turned it down. Why?
He cites security. By which he means
— as people almost always do —
insecurity. Increasing terrorist threats
on the one hand, his own position on
the other. He doesn’t talk about his
private life, but these days MacGregor
makes it on to lists of the most
influential gay people. In 2002, when
he started at the British Museum, the
atmosphere was different.
“Until the Sixties, Seventies, even
later, effectively you could come and
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go as you chose,” he says of the British
Museum. Since then it has “become
impossible: CCTV is everywhere,
which means you’ve got no private life
at all. And I was hoping that my private
life might become so interesting that
I wouldn’t want it captured on CCTV.”
He laughs — a surprisingly
unstatesmanlike chortle. Then he adds,
more statesmanlike: “I’m not going to
tell you whether it did or not.”
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the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
9
1GT
CHARLIE CLIFT/BBC
arts
“The sadness is that it makes it
much harder to drop in and out of the
museum. That’s the great sadness. We
all understand why this has got to be
like this, but one of the casualties of
this is the great joy of just being able
to come in for ten minutes. It’ll
happen again. That’s really what one
has to hang on to.” He thinks it will?
“Surely this has to be temporary.”
As befits a man who oversaw an
exhibition whose oldest human-made
object — a stone chopping tool —
dates back almost two million years,
he takes the long view. Where most
see modern problems, MacGregor
sees ancient parallels. The blockbuster
exhibitions he put on were famous for
being at once ancient and topical.
Their subjects — Iran, China,
Afghanistan — could be a list of
Foreign Office headaches for the past
ten years. MacGregor lives, if not quite
With CCTV
everywhere
you’ve got no
private life at all
That is pure MacGregor. Total
charm and near total elusiveness. You
do not glide into two of the biggest
jobs in British arts — before the
British Museum he was head of the
National Gallery — then land one of
the plum ones in Germany without
certain skills. Yes, MacGregor has the
brilliance of an academic and the
charisma of a saint (walk through the
British Museum grounds with him and
people turn, watch and smile; if hemtouching were still in fashion his hem
would be extremely grubby).
Yet he also has the wiliness of a
politician. Interviews with MacGregor
follow a similar pattern. The
interviewer will be utterly charmed by
him — rightly, since he is utterly
charming — but that consummate
charm often obscures the fact that in
those interviews he often says nothing.
Among the topics that he won’t talk
about today are: his religious beliefs;
how his work in Germany is going;
how Brexit is affecting the lending of
objects between museums (no, he
doesn’t think Brexit has made it
harder; no, he doesn’t want to talk
about it); and so on.
So back to religion, which he will
talk about. Security — insecurity — is
at the heart of this new series. When
another Times writer went to
interview MacGregor a few years ago
he enthused about children doing
cartwheels on the lawn outside the
museum. Now, the most noticeable
inhabitant of that lawn is a squatting
white marquee. Inside is that most
iconic of all 20th-century religious
sights: slow, shuffling queues of people
waiting for their bags to be searched.
How does MacGregor feel about it?
Living with the Gods
will be broadcast daily
on Radio 4 from
October 23. The
exhibition Living with
gods: peoples, places
and worlds beyond is
at the British Museum
from November 2
to April 8
sub specie aeternitatis, then certainly
sub specie antiquitatis. And, educator to
the nation, he prods us to follow suit.
“In the last few years we’ve been
thinking: what are the questions that
this collection allows us to answer in
a different light?” Note that modest,
MacGregorish “we”. With him, small
grammatical points often make a big
point. The indefinite article in his
brilliant A History of the World in 100
Objects was, in its unassuming way,
revolutionary. This wasn’t the history
of the world: it was more modestly
a history.
Now he has turned his attention to
religion with Living with the Gods
(note that plural: Gods, not God): 30
programmes, each shining a spotlight,
as he puts it, on a different aspect of
religion. This is not about theology; he
won’t be assessing the truth of various
religions. “That’s why it’s living with
the Gods,” he says. “It’s not about
belief in that sense. It’s about what you
do with that.”
So it is about things. And very
interesting things they are too. It opens
with a 40,000-year-old, mammoth
ivory lion man statue, a prehistoric
religious object, its lips licked with the
blood of sacrifice, then moves through
17th-century Japanese prohibitions on
priests to the Lampedusa cross, which
was made from pieces of a refugee
boat wrecked off the coast of the
Mediterranean island in 2013.
The topic attracted him for much
the same reasons as Iran and China:
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because it matters now. “One of the
questions I think anybody would want
to ask is: why has religion again come
into the middle of politics? One of the
hopes of the European Enlightenment
was that you would separate religion
from politics because it had led to civil
wars. And one of the great phenomena
that everybody has had to observe in
the last 50 years is the return of
religion to centre stage.”
Many westerners today, he says,
find it “bewildering and puzzling”
that people would die or kill for
religion, so in this series he is seeking
to take out some of that puzzlement.
“To ask that question: why is religion
so important as a political force, as a
force in society?”
So why is it? This being MacGregor,
the answer is not simple. Things are
complicated. Take last summer’s
burkini row in France. A Nigel Farage
or a Donald Trump may have a simple
take on religious difficulties and the
French. MacGregor is not so stupid.
One of the Living with the Gods
programmes looks at Démolition du
temple de Charenton, a 17th-century
French engraving from a series
entitled Les Petites Conquêtes du Roi.
In 1685, MacGregor explains, France
revoked the Edict of Nantes, meaning
that it was no longer legal to be a
Protestant in France. There really
weren’t many Protestants left in
France at this point anyway — forced
conversion had done away with them.
“There is a tiny Protestant
population left. They are absolutely no
threat. But the new centralised state
wants to show it can do it and they
demolish the great Protestant church
outside Paris, which is a building
admired all round Europe . . . and the
court engraver produces Les Petites
Conquêtes du Roi, and one of the
‘conquests’ of Louis XIV is the
demolition of a church in his own
country where his own subjects —
who were completely loyal — had
been worshipping.”
So what, he asks, does that tell you
about France? “About how they
tolerate diversity? That a different way
of religious practice is such a threat
that you demolish the buildings and
persecute the people. And if you
look at France now, what is the
connection? What is the connection
between a state that will do that to a
community that is no threat at all?”
I was rather hoping he was going
to answer, I say. The response he gives
is pure MacGregor: a mixture of
brilliance, ever-so-slight evasion and
education. “This is not about answers,”
he says. “This is about questions in a
different light. And I think you can
only understand the burkini-burka
row in France if you go back to 1685.”
Naturally. After listening to his
series, you’ll probably agree.
10
1GT
Wednesday October 18 2017 | the times
television & radio
Packham opens up about the nature of autism
RICHARD ANSETT/BBC
Chris
Bennion
TV review
Asperger’s and Me
BBC Two
{{{{{
Reformation
BBC Four
{{(((
‘L
et’s be honest,” says Chris
Packham, “some people
find me a little bit weird.”
Guilty. I have always found
Packham — the Springwatch
presenter with the rockabilly quiff,
bluff manner and obvious annoyance
towards Michaela Strachan — a little
bit weird. I’m not alone. “Spazzer”,
“spacker” and “moron” were some of
the words the teenage Packham would
hear at school. I sincerely hope some of
his former classmates watched Chris
Packham: Asperger’s and Me. If they
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Andy Hamilton
Sort of Remembers
Radio 4, 6.30pm
Given the way that
Andy Hamilton talks on
The News Quiz — staking
out his political territory
somewhere to the left of
Trotsky — you would
imagine that he was
brought up by wolves,
or possibly suckled by
politburo officials in
Moscow. Naturally, he was
brought up in that hotbed of
left-wing thought, Fulham,
then went to read English at
Cambridge University. Here
he looks back on 40 years of
life and comedy, and, one
assumes, being a Trot.
Little Lifetimes
Radio 4, 11pm
It’s Miss Cavendish’s last
day at school. She won’t
miss it once she’s gone. The
school isn’t what it used to
be. Once upon a time the
smoke was so thick in the
staff room that you only
knew who was on the other
side of it because you could
hear them coughing. As
she dryly observes: “There’s
no smoking now. It’s all
cafetières and Nutribullets,
and Mr Jessop (physics)
has filled the windowsill
with succulents.” This is
written by Jenny Eclair,
and performed perfectly
by Vicki Pepperdine.
did they would have seen a moving,
lyrical and painfully honest account of
living with high-functioning autism.
As a young child Packham didn’t
hear those cruel names. He was too
busy collecting animal skulls and
scooping great gobbets of tadpoles into
mason jars. Those tadpoles fascinated
him to the extent that he simply
“had to” taste them. How’s this for a
sentence to help you to understand
Packham’s Asperger’s? “I wanted to
own every single sensory output I
could get from it, as intensely as
possible.” And that’s him on tadpoles.
Secondary school, however, was a
time of isolation. His peers wanted to
talk about girls, not “the natural life
cycle of the kestrel” (more on that
below). Suicide was mentioned (“I was
very serious about it”). Packham
peeled back layer after layer — even
letting us into his secluded woodland
home, where he lives alone, showing
us his private rhythms and routines.
However, this was a documentary,
so our Chris needed to go on a
journey. He went to America, where
he frowned at transcranial magnetic
stimulation (electric pulses to the brain
— “Not a chance,” said Packham) and
looked perturbed inside a special-needs
school that “retrained” autistic children.
Packham saw only square pegs being
bashed, miserably, into round holes.
Oddly, for a man who claims that
friendships are a struggle, the lasting
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.33am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Adele Roberts
12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00
Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The Surgery with
Katie & Dr Radha 10.00 Huw Stephens
1.00am Benji B 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Paddy O’Connell 2.00pm Steve Wright. With
Gordon Ramsay, Gloria Hunniford and Angela
Scanlon 5.00 Simon Mayo 7.00 The Folk
Show with Mark Radcliffe 8.00 Jo Whiley.
Featuring a live session from Beth Ditto
10.00 Bruce Springsteen: Long Walk Home.
The singer-songwriter charts his career in
music through to the modern day (2/2)
11.00 Little Steven’s Underground Garage.
Music from the films of Martin Scorsese (r)
12.00 Pick of the Pops (r) 2.00am Radio 2
Playlists: Country Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show, featuring listener requests
9.00 Essential Classics
Suzy Klein’s guest is the actor, director and
playwright Kwame Kwei-Armah, who reveals
the cultural influences that have shaped him
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Puccini (1858-1924)
Donald Macleod, in conversation with
Sir Antonio Pappano, traces the
developmental line of Puccini’s meticulously
crafted dramatic heroines. Today they
discuss one of the most passionate and
complex of characters, Tosca. Puccini
(Vissi d’arte — Tosca; Tre sbirri, una
carrozza — Tosca; and Act 3 — Tosca)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Seong-jin Cho plays at Warsaw’s Chopin
and his Europe Festival. The South Korean
winner of the 2015 Chopin International
Piano Competition returns to Warsaw
in this recital. Presented by Sarah Walker.
Beethoven (Piano Sonata No 8 in C minor, Op
13 — Pathétique); and Chopin (Four Ballades:
No 1 in G minor, Op 23; No 2 in F, Op 38; No 3
in A flat, Op 47; and No 4 in F minor, Op 52)
Chris Packham shared his difficulties with Asperger’s syndrome
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Penny Gore continues her week of
performances and recordings by the
BBC National Orchestra of Wales. Today’s
programme features a concert the orchestra
gave in Newtown in September, with Sheku
Kanneh-Mason. Glinka (Overture: Ruslan
and Ludmila); Shostakovich (Cello Concerto
No 1 in E flat); and Rimsky Korsakov
(Sheherazade — symphonic suite, Op 35)
3.30 Live Choral Evensong
From Gloucester Cathedral on the Feast of
Luke the Evangelist. Introit: I Sat Down
Under His Shadow (Bairstow). Responses:
John Sanders. Office Hymn: From Thee
All Skill and Science Flow (Belgrave). Psalm
103 (Turle, Walford Davies). First Lesson:
Isaiah 61 vv 1-6. Magnificat (Finzi). Second
Lesson: Colossians 4 vv 7-18. Nunc Dimittis
for double choir (Howells). Anthem: And I
Saw a New Heaven (Matthew Martin).
Hymn: Angel Voices Ever Singing (Angel
voices) (descant — Andrew Carter). Organ
Voluntary: Come Sing and Dance — Triptych
in Honour of Herbert Howells — (first
movement) (David Bednall). Director
of Music: Adrian Partington. Assistant
Director of Music: Jonathan Hope
4.30 New Generation Artists
Penny Gore introduces performances from
some of Radio 3’s New Generation Artists,
past and present. Quilter (O Mistress Mine
— Three Shakespeare Songs); Handel
(Suite No 2 in F, HWV427); and Finzi (Let us
Garlands Bring, Op 18; Come Away, Come
Away, Death — Twelfth Night; Who Is Silvia?
— The Two Gentlemen of Verona; Fear No
More the Heat O’ the Sun — Cymbeline;
O Mistress Mine — Twelfth Night; and It
Was a Lover and His Lass — As You Like It)
5.00 In Tune
Guests include Stephen Fry and Louis Mander
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
A specially-curated mixtape with music
by Rossini, Bach and Count Basie
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
The Hungarian conductor Gergely Madaras
conducts the Ulster Orchestra and the
pianist Steven Osborne in a concert. Kodaly
(Variations on a Hungarian Folksong —
The Peacock); Britten (Piano Concerto);
and Stravinsky (The Firebird)
10.00 Free Thinking
Matthew Sweet offers an exploration of
memory with the novelist Lisa Appignanesi,
Andrew Graham — son of Winston Graham,
and the film director Murray Pomerance
10.45 The Essay: Stories That Sing
The actor David Threlfall ponders
his ambivalent responses to opera
11.00 Late Junction
Nick Luscombe introduces fuzz guitar from
1970s Zambia, new material by Alessandro
Cortini inspired by home videos, and
radiophonic music for a decomposing
amusement park by Simon James
12.30am Through the Night (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
With Nick Robinson and Mishal Husain
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 The Gamble
The connection between risk and creativity,
beginning with a look at how Lucian Freud’s
dangerous and precarious existence
contributed to his art (1/3)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 15 Minute Drama:
Ten Days That Shook the World
By John Reed (8/10)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews with Jenni Murray.
Including at 10.41 the Book of the Week:
Sarah Millican reads the third extract
from her memoir How to Be Champion
10.55 The Listening Project
A conversation between friends who
live at opposite ends of Dartmoor
11.00 The British Road to Bolshevism
Exploring how events in London played
a role in the Russian Revolution (r)
11.30 Mrs Sidhu Investigates:
Murder with Masala
By Suk Pannu (3/4)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 50 Things That
Made the Modern Economy
Examining the impact of the welfare states
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 How to Have a Better Brain
The important role mental exercise plays
in maintaining brain health (3/5) (r)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: One Horizon
By Jeremy Hylton Davies. Gwyn and Paul
take on the epic Marathon des Sables,
which entails running 150 miles across the
Moroccan Sahara in scorching temperatures
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 Inside Health (5/6) (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
impression was made by his
relationships. As a teenager his
obsessions turned to kestrels. He
raised one in his room, taking it out to
a patch of scrubland to fly. The love he
felt was real and blisteringly intense.
Emotionless is the tag often thrown at
people with Asperger’s, yet here was
Packham ablaze with emotion. When
it died, “there was nothing left”.
Packham — surprisingly to dolts like
me who had written him off as weird
— has a girlfriend too. She runs Isle of
Wight Zoo (well, of course) and seems
lovely. “He’s a bit like an alien,” she said.
The best was saved for last. Packham
has a stepdaughter, Megan, who is
studying zoology at university (well, of
course). She thinks the world of him.
Now I think I might do too.
The BBC has gone to town for the
500th anniversary of the Reformation.
Thankfully, everything it has produced
so far — documentaries from Lucy
Worsley, David Starkey and Janina
Ramirez (tomorrow) — has been
top-drawer. A pity, then, that it felt the
need to import the leaden Germanlanguage Martin Luther biopic
Reformation. This was a Teutonic
bore. Plodding step by stultifying step
from Martin Luther’s Ninety-five
Theses to the tumult of the years that
followed, Reformation managed to be
both dull and far-fetched. There’s a
second 90-minute helping tonight,
in case you’ve misplaced your cilice.
5.00 PM
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Andy Hamilton
Sort of Remembers
The writer and comedian reflects on his
life and career. See Radio Choice (1/4)
7.00 The Archers
Kate tries to do the right thing
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme with Samira Ahmed
7.45 15 Minute Drama:
Ten Days That Shook the World
By John Reed (8/10) (r)
8.00 The Moral Maze
With Giles Fraser, Melanie Phillips,
Michael Portillo and Matthew Taylor (2/9)
8.45 Why I Changed My Mind
George Carey explains his change of
mind on assisted dying (1/4)
9.00 Costing the Earth
Tom Heap lifts the lid on recycling (r)
9.30 The Gamble (1/3) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Shaun Ley
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Ian Rankin —
The Deathwatch Journal
Crime serial, read by Jimmy Chisholm (3/5)
11.00 Little Lifetimes
Comic monologue, by Jenny Eclair. Vicki
Pepperdine stars. See Radio Choice (1/4)
11.15 The Hauntening
Second of two ghost stories written by
and starring Tom Neenan (2/2)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Political round-up with Susan Hulme
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
How to Be Champion
By Sarah Millican (3/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 Hancock’s Half
Hour 9.00 Say the Word 9.30 Winston
10.00 Alexander 11.00 Home Sweet Home
11.15 Art & Gadg 12.00 The Navy Lark
12.30pm Hancock’s Half Hour 1.00 You
Came Back 1.30 Caught on Film 2.00 Jane
Eyre 2.15 A Week at the Pitt Rivers 2.30
Daunt and Dervish 2.45 Femme Fatale: A
Biography of Mata Hari 3.00 Alexander 4.00
Say the Word 4.30 Winston 5.00 Electric Ink
5.30 John Shuttleworth’s Lounge Music 6.00
625Y 6.30 Musical Genes 7.00 The Navy
Lark. Pertwee and Philips return from leave
to meet Lieutenant Murray 7.30 Hancock’s
Half Hour. Comedy with Tony Hancock
8.00 You Came Back. By Christopher Coake
8.30 Caught on Film. Why many cinematic
gems and documentary films are rotting
away 9.00 Home Sweet Home. AL Kennedy
on over-staying with friends 9.15 Art &
Gadg. By Gregory Evans 10.00 Comedy Club:
John Shuttleworth’s Lounge Music. With
guest Mari Wilson 10.30 The Harpoon. Hints
on body language 10.55 The Comedy Club
Interview 11.00 Bridget Christie Minds
the Gap 11.30 At Home with the Snails
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Emma Barnett 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 6.30 5 Live Sport
7.45 5 Live Sport: Champions League
Football 2017-18. Featuring commentary
and updates on this evening’s matches
10.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Football Social
10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with David Ginola 10.00 Max Rushden
1.00pm Hawksbee and Jacobs 4.00 Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Stuart
Maconie. With Armando Iannucci 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe
12.00 6 Music Recommends with Mary Anne
Hobbs 1.00am From Edison to iTunes: A
History of the Record Label 2.00 Wish You
Were There? 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 Bill
Turnbull 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert. Music with
connections to Liverpool. Britten (The Young
Person’s Guide to the Orchestra); Lennon/
McCartney (Yesterday); Handel (Ombra mai
fu); Horner (Pas de Deux); Brahms (Piano
Concerto No 1 in D minor); Dykes (Eternal
Father Strong to Save); Bruch (Adagio
Appassionato); and Mahler (Blumine) 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Emma Nelson
the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
11
1GT
TRISTAN FEWINGS/GETTY IMAGES
artsfirst night
Concert
LSO/Haitink
Barbican
H
{{{((
e steps up to the podium
very gingerly, and if I were
88 I’m sure I’d do exactly
the same. Yet the audience
expectation remains that
Bernard Haitink will deliver
something special: a concert shining
with sober wisdom, firm structural
logic and cleanly coloured textures. It
was certainly so in May when Haitink
and the London Symphony Orchestra
offered a glorious account of
Bruckner’s Ninth Symphony. Here,
though, as the conductor pulled the
same orchestra through a slightly
heavyweight account of Brahms’s
Second Symphony, I didn’t feel that
lightning was striking twice.
The presentation of the music’s
see-sawing moods showed the mature
perception of old age, with the
symphony’s sunny disposition forcibly
shadowed by ominous timpani
thwacks and the meaty exchanges of
brass and strings. Yet I missed the
fleet, incisive touch that a more
boisterous conductor such as Riccardo
Chailly might have supplied. And the
playing of the LSO appeared a notch
below its crisp, honeyed best — luckily
displayed earlier in the strange,
smudged sounds of Thomas Adès’s
Three Studies from Couperin and the
interior tapestry of Mendelssohn’s
Violin Concerto (oh, those beautiful
wind arabesques). For Haitink and the
LSO, though, this Brahms stayed
disappointingly ordinary.
Not so the Mendelssohn. The young
German violinist Veronika Eberle
showed her spurs right from those
passionate opening notes. The music
flowed with a natural ease, while her
colours and dynamics constantly
mutated, sometimes bar by bar. This
gave a living, tactile quality to her
playing; genuine tension too. Yes, she
gobbled up those prancing arpeggios
leading into the third movement’s
whirl, but the rich refreshment on
offer easily offset any passing kink.
Geoff Brown
Concert
EIC/Pintscher
Royal Festival Hall
T
{{{((
here’s a glacial quality to the
Ensemble Intercontemporain
that is hypnotic until it starts
to seem robotic. Founded
41 years ago by Pierre Boulez
as the performing arm of Ircam, his
computer-music bunker in Paris, this
virtuoso band remains fixed in that
avant-garde world where music and
technology merge in work of dazzling
surface and impenetrable substance.
Presumably because of the cost of
transporting its electronic clobber, the
EIC is rarely in the UK. Any sense of
occasion about this event, however,
was dissipated not just by the sight of
2,000-odd empty seats, but also by
interminable platform shuffles.
When the music finally arrived,
it was enthralling. Conducted by
Matthias Pintscher, two comparatively
ancient masterpieces of the
electro-acoustic genre — Jonathan
Harvey’s 1982 Bhakti and Boulez’s
Natalie Dormer proves to have startling range and charisma
Please stop it,
it’s painful
Why should we
care about this
feeble look at
sex and power,
asks Dominic
Maxwell
Theatre
Venus in Fur
Theatre Royal
Haymarket
{{(((
T
here is more pain than
pleasure to be had from this
two-handed play about
sadomasochism, gender
politics and being a bit of
a misguided male douchebag. The
acting, though, is very much a
pleasure. We’ve seen plenty of
television-famous actors make so-so
West End debuts, but here’s a British
pair who can pull it off. In particular,
Natalie Dormer, best known as
Margaery Tyrell in Game of Thrones,
proves to be a stage performer of
startling range and charisma.
She plays Vanda, a streetwise
New York actress — no, make that
a Nooooo Yoeeeyyyk actress, since
. . . explosante-fixe . . . — enclosed a UK
premiere. That was Hermes V by one of
Ircam’s present luminaries, Philippe
Schoeller. He says the piece “was
constructed from eight scores written
simultaneously, on eight separate tables,
according to the energy that drove me
each morning after waking up”.
Perhaps that explains the piecemeal
construction. More striking, however,
is his requirement that ensemble
members hum as well as play their
instruments, and his mixing of huge
gestures (the striking of a giant bell)
with passages of frenetic energy.
Hermes, of course, is the messenger
of the gods. One sensed a powerful
message being conveyed without
having a clue what it was.
Schoeller’s piece paled beside
Harvey’s Sanskrit-inspired work,
and even more so beside Boulez’s
stupendous score in which three
flutes, a large backing ensemble and
live electronics send a mesmerising
kaleidoscope of polyphony spinning
around the hall. It must be galling for
today’s electro-acoustic composers to
sense that they may never better what
Boulez did 25 years ago.
Richard Morrison
Visual art
Ilya and Emilia
Kabakov
Tate Modern
{{{{(
Dormer takes those vowels on a ride
worthy of Coney Island. Vanda is in an
attic rehearsal room to audition for
the role of Wanda — coincidence? —
the heroine of the 1870 novel Venus in
Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch.
He’s the Austrian author who gave us
the word “masochism” and later
inspired Lou Reed to write a song of
the same name and David Ives to
write this 2010 play of almost the same
name, which was turned into a film by
Roman Polanski in 2012.
David Oakes (Prince Ernest in
Victoria) convinces as Thomas,
the designer-stubbled American
playwright turning that novel into
a play. “Young women can’t even play
feminine these days,” he moans. Surely
he won’t get away unpunished for that
one? Too right he won’t.
No one will be wildly surprised
when his brash visitor in skimpy black
leathers turns out to be one classy
actress too, but it’s still a mighty
moment when Vanda becomes Angloaccented Wanda. Soon she is roping
Thomas into her audition and turning
the tables on him just as her character
turns the tables on his.
Dormer and Oakes act the hell out
of this 90-minute piece, but I’m not
convinced it’s worth their while. Sure,
there’s a frisson as these two sexy
young actors lock eyes. Yet for all the
intelligence here, all the twists, too
much of it is a kind of psychosexual
Cliffs Notes about the original.
Patrick Marber’s production is
beautifully staged and Rob Howell’s set,
with a skylight to let us see the
lightning flashes — yes, it’s a dark and
stormy night — is handsome, yet it’s
hard to care much about any of this.
Since Vanda appears from nowhere
in a crack of thunder (although the
stage direction in the text suggests that
she knocks and comes in) it’s hard to
be surprised by anything she does.
Anything is possible with her, so
nothing is all that interesting.
Vanda complains that Thomas is
writing about himself, not real women.
Yet this is a story about a male
playwright being told some home
truths about himself by a fantastical
female. It’s more masturbatory than
revelatory.
Box office: 020 7930 8800, to Dec 9
‘N
ot everyone will be taken
into the future”, reads
the LED sign on the
vanishing metro. Even as
visitors step into the
gallery they find themselves stranded
on an empty platform watching the
train as it draws away from them,
disappearing through the tunnel of a
gallery wall. A few discarded paintings
are left, tumbled, on the tracks behind
it; abandoned, along with you, are old
plastic sheeting and a cheese grater.
This is only one of the six “total” (or
whole room) installations at Tate
Modern as it opens its first significant
survey of the work of the Russian
creative duo Ilya and Emilia Kabakov
(he is the creator, she the facilitator).
As we commemorate the centenary
of the Russian Revolution, theirs is
a vision that exposes its haunting
aftermath. It launches the viewer into
a strangely unnerving world of a
Soviet dream that never existed. Stark
reality meets sentimental nostalgia;
an eerie sense of optimism meets a
worn-out hopelessness.
Not Everyone Will Be Taken Into the
Future spans Ilya Kabakov’s career
from the 1960s, when he was working
Comedy
Tim Key: Megadate
Soho Theatre, W1
I
{{{{{
t’s going to get tricky describing
this flabbergastingly funny new
show by Tim Key. So let me start
with what I’m sure about: I have
never enjoyed myself in a comedy
show more than in this adjectivedefyingly unusual mixture of stand-up,
storytelling, film, performance art,
poetry, quick-change artistry and
interactive lager drinking (see? I told
you it was going to be tricky).
Best known as Alan Partridge’s
on-air sidekick, Simon, Key won an
Edinburgh Comedy award in 2009 for
just this sort of wacko trickery. Yet with
Megadate Key evolves his act into
something as seamless as it is silly. It’s
comic chaos at its most cunningly
choreographed. Even before the show
starts he wanders round the room,
establishing a persona that’s debonair
but shabby, commanding but ridiculous.
Key gives us a kind of parody of
himself, referring boastingly to his low
level of fame when he says he put on
weight while “doing a play in the West
End with Rufus Sewell” (Art at the
Old Vic). He is, he assures us, “one
strong cameo in Sherlock” away from
being invited on to Desert Island Discs.
That and the strictures of being
single at 41 root his blatantly bonkers
tale of a “megadate” with a woman
that takes in half of the tourist sites in
London, after which he retraces his
steps the next day to find his wallet.
He shows us films of artful absurdity,
talks nonsense about his mother’s
cheese habits, trash-talks the Olympic
long jumper Greg Rutherford, while
reading out poems off playing cards.
It doesn’t sound like much, yet,
setting it all to a constant soundtrack
and punctuating it with costume
changes and audience interaction, Key
strings together his inventiveness so
seamlessly that the real world doesn’t
have a chance. Heavens, we care as
well as laugh. It is total nonsense. It is
total discipline. It is a total pleasure.
Dominic Maxwell
Box office: 020 7478 0100, to Oct 28
in Russia as an illustrator, to when,
having left in 1987, he teamed up with
a distant cousin, Emilia (first as artistic
collaborators, then as man and wife).
The Kabakovs’ signature (and usually
site-specific) installations nowadays
are snapped up by collectors for
millions of pounds.
It’s easy to understand why. To
walk through this show feels a bit
like becoming a character from a
Dostoevsky novel. You follow the lives
of fictional characters through a
frequently discombobulating world,
peeping into the rooms that they once
inhabited, following them down the
mazes of their lives. Scale is subverted.
Perspective is skewed. And the farther
you go into the lands of their lives and
their circumstances, their hopes and
memories, their dreams and facts, the
more densely layered and complex
their narratives grow.
A story that starts out in Soviet
Russia turns into a far bigger story
about humanity and our fundamental
yearning to find a way for the spirit to
fly free. It’s all very simple. It is
probably all the more moving for that.
Rachel Campbell-Johnston
The exhibition runs to Jan 28
12
1GT
Wednesday October 18 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Army: Behind the
New Frontlines
BBC Two, 9pm
In 2017
the British
Army finds
itself in
uncharted territory.
After controversial
campaigns in Iraq and
Afghanistan, there’s
Early
Top
pick
a political reluctance
to put boots on the
ground, and there’s
widespread opposition
to military intervention.
As a consequence,
Britain hasn’t been at
war for three years. The
rise of Islamic State,
the threat of a new
Cold War in eastern
Europe, and famine and
conflict in sub-Saharan
Africa have given the
army a new role to play
in a deeply unstable
world. Filmed over
18 months, this
eye-opening three-part
series takes us to the
heart of the army
through the eyes of the
leaders and the rank
and file, revealing the
unique challenge
involved in fighting
wars when Britain is
not at war. The first
episode focuses on
the battle for Mosul
as the army, which has
a bloody recent history
in the country, helps
Iraqi troops to expel
Isis forces from the city
they have occupied
since June 2014. The
episode begins in
October 2016 as British
soldiers from 1 Rifles
have only weeks to
prepare a group of
Kurdish recruits for
combat. It’s a new role
for soldiers trained to
fight to get their heads
round. Also on the
ground is General
Rupert Jones, the
deputy commander of
an international
coalition and the most
senior British Army
officer in Iraq. “It might
take a little longer than
if we were doing it,” he
says, “but it lays the
ground for a far more
lasting solution.” That’s
the theory, anyway.
Ugly House to
Lovely House
Channel 4, 8pm
In the cluttered
property programme
landscape, the USP of
this series is that all the
buildings featured are
what Prince Charles
would call “carbuncles”.
First up is a building in
rural Gloucestershire
bought by Simon and
Lisa. Built in the Dutch
barn style, it is so
hideous that
neighbours compared
it to the house in
The Amityville Horror.
Simon’s first instinct
was to bulldoze it and
start again, but George
Clarke ropes in the
architect Laura Clark
to see if she can come
up with a plan to
transform the terrifying
building into a warm,
welcoming home.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Live. A report
on job seekers that are being targeted by fraudsters
10.00 Homes Under the Hammer. Properties in
Walthamstow, Mansfield and Heanor (r) (AD) 11.00
A Matter of Life and Debt. A nursery teacher wants to
borrow money for a family holiday (AD) 11.45 Caught
Red Handed. A couple suffer at the hands of the same
burglar twice in two nights (r) (AD) 12.15pm Bargain
Hunt. Two teams compete at Ardingly Antiques Fair in
West Sussex (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather
1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45 Doctors.
Heston finds himself trying to repair a broken friendship,
and Zara meets Reece’s brother at the hospital (AD)
2.15 Impossible. Game show hosted by Rick Edwards
3.00 Escape to the Country. Margherita Taylor goes house
hunting in Devon for a buyer with a £300,000 budget (AD)
3.45 Money for Nothing. Sarah Moore salvages more
items from the Altrincham Recycling Centre 4.30
Antiques Road Trip. Phil Serrell and Arusha Irvine
head to an auction in Greenwich 5.15 Pointless. Quiz
show hosted by Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News
at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Real Lives Reunited (r) 6.30 Money for Nothing
(r) 7.15 A Matter of Life and Debt (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Britain Afloat (r) (SL) 8.30 Great British Menu (r)
(SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm The Code. Quiz hosted by
Matt Allwright (r) 1.45 Restoration Home (r) (AD)
2.45 Family Finders. Denise Wilson and Janet Emery
investigate their respective families 3.15 Full Steam
Ahead. How the railways transformed the British diet,
with the mass transportation of livestock giving birth to
the British roast. Plus, how rail helped transformed the
fortunes of Whitby (r) (AD) 4.15 Wild Shepherdess
with Kate Humble. The broadcaster spends time with
shepherds tending flocks in harsh environments,
beginning by trekking for two days to visit the Wakhi
people of northeast Afghanistan (r) (AD) 5.15 Flog It!
Antiques experts James Lewis and Anita Manning peruse
items brought in by members of the public at Sheffield’s
Cutlers’ Hall. Presented by Paul Martin (r) 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz show presented by Jeremy Vine (r)
6.30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two. Zoe Ball finds
out the latest news from the famous contestants
6.00am Good Morning Britain. Megan McKenna chats
about her journey from reality star to country singer
8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current affairs and fashion
news, as well as showbiz stories, cooking and gossip 9.25
The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat show 10.30 This
Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby present
chat with famous faces and lifestyle features, including a
look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen. Including Local Weather 12.30pm
Loose Women. Another helping of topical studio
discussion from a female perspective, featuring an
interview with Jason Manford 1.30 ITV News; Weather
2.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal. David Dickinson and the
dealers are on the hunt for antiques at the RAF Museum
in London, where items of interest include a diamond
watch and rare cricket items (r) 3.00 Alphabetical. Jeff
Stelling hosts the quiz in which three new contestants
take on the reigning champion, answering questions
based around letters of the alphabet 4.00 Tipping Point.
Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed quiz show 5.00
The Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.20am The King of Queens (r) 7.40 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 9.05 Frasier (r) (AD) 10.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA. The chef comes to the aid of
Lela’s, a California restaurant that is on the brink of
closure thanks to an inexperienced owner and an arrogant
chef (r) 11.00 Undercover Boss USA. The co-owner of a
custom signs company goes undercover (r) 12.00
Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm Come Dine with Me.
Dinner-party challenge from Wolverhampton (r) 1.05
A New Life in the Sun. A hairdresser has grand plans to
expand in the Costa Blanca (r) 2.10 Countdown. With
Adrian Chiles in Dictionary Corner 3.00 Find It, Fix It,
Flog It. Simon creates stunning table lamps from old
theatre lights 4.00 My Kitchen Rules. Two friends and
colleagues prepare a three course menu 5.00 Four in a
Bed. The contestants head to The Black Swan Inn in
Pickering, Yorkshire 5.30 Steph and Dom’s One Star to
Five Star. Steph and Dom challenge the owners to offer a
seafood barbecue, and create an al fresco dining area 6.00
The Simpsons. Milhouse’s estranged parents consider a
reconciliation (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Focusing on a day
in the life of teenagers, Peri, Yasmine and Lily (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and his guests talk about the issues of the day
11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away. An episode
combining new and unforgettable past cases, with the
High Court Enforcement Agents tackling troublesome
situations in Manchester, London and Liverpool (r)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel Inspector
Returns. Alex Polizzi finds out what has happened to
some of the hoteliers she helped in the past, beginning at
the Meudon Country House Hotel near Falmouth (r) 1.10
Access 1.15 Home and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD)
2.20 NCIS. The team investigates the deaths of a radio DJ
and a naval officer who were both killed during a live
broadcast, and discovers a number of potential suspects
(r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: Lifetime of Lies (PG, TVM,
2016) A woman returns home for her brother’s funeral
and attempts to unravel the truth about his death.
Mystery starring Shenae Grimes-Beech, Sean Faris and
John Schneider 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours.
Louise pushes Hamish to set a departure date (r) (AD)
6.00 Home and Away. Ben discovers that Ziggy and Brody
are seeing each other (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
You’re fired! Keep up with the
real American apprentice.
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7PM
7.00 Further Back in Time for Dinner
A family experiences life at the turn of
the 20th century, and discovers how
the food helped shape the modern
family. Giles Coren and Polly Russell
present, and Monica Galetti and
Chas and Dave make guest
appearances (1/6) (r) (AD)
7.00 Emmerdale Chrissie and Rebecca
find themselves at odds, Jai receives
devastating news, and Daz is eager
to make a good impression (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street Billy apologises
to Peter, Mary’s constant interference
gets on Angie’s nerves, and
Chesney impresses Sinead (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Police Interceptors The return of the
documentary following the work of a
high-speed police interception unit,
this time riding along with officers
of Cheshire’s elite crime-fighting
team, whose patch is one of the UK’s
most affluent areas (1/12) (r)
8.00 Eat Well for Less? Gregg Wallace
and Chris Bavin head to Derby to help a
family of fussy eaters who are stuck in
a rut with their eating and shopping
habits. Mum struggles to get her twins
to try new food, and the fussy children
live on the same pre-packed ready
meals each week (5/8) (AD)
8.00 Saving Lives at Sea The Lowestoft
crew is called out to help a sailor who
does not want to be rescued, and a
Good Samaritan is saved after trying
to help a dog which jumped into the
river Thames. Elsewhere, the Rhyl crew
responds to a call after a dog walker
notices a flare off shore (11/12) (AD)
8.00 Bad Move Steve and Nicky realise
how much they are missing their
old lives in Leeds (5/6) (AD)
8.00 Ugly House to Lovely House with
George Clarke New series. George is
joined by leading architects to help
transform some of Britain’s most
unloved houses into desirable
properties, starting with a building in
rural Gloucestershire which is in a
shoddy state. See Viewing Guide (AD)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors
A patient is treated by the doctors
as she is concerned her neck-down
paralysis may be returning, and a
former world champion boxer visits
the surgery following a recent defeat,
worried he may have suffered
neurological damage (AD)
9.00 The Apprentice This week, Lord
Sugar summons the contestants to
London’s new Design Museum, where
they are challenged to create, program
and sell a prototype robot. The boys
create a product targeting the over 60s
and the girls opt for the children’s
market. See Viewing Guide
9.00 Army: Behind the New Frontlines
New series. Documentary series going
behind-the-scenes in the British Army.
The troops return to Iraq, where
previous controversial campaigns in
this country and Afghanistan prompted
opposition to future intervention.
See Viewing Guide (1/3) (AD)
9.00 Doc Martin Louisa has problems at
school with Toby, Angela Sim’s
Nephew. Meanwhile, Al has a “Large
Whiskey” order and has to ask Bert for
some help, and Mrs Tishell seems to be
having a delayed onset of mourning.
See Viewing Guide (5/8) (AD)
9.00 Grand Designs Ecologist Fred and
communications manager Saffron
Baker start building work on their
new family home in a village in the
Peak District. However, the couple
face difficulties as the start of
construction proves more a feat of
civil engineering than a house build
9.00 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away
Agents Max and Steve head to London
to try and recover over £21,000 in
unpaid court costs after a car accident,
while officers Aron and Iain are in
Middlesex chasing nearly £4,000 after
the organiser of a music festival
refused to pay a supplier
Late
11PM
10PM
9PM
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones present the live magazine show
featuring topical reports from around
the UK and big-name studio guests
8PM
UK residents only, aged 18 or over. This offer is subject to availability. New subscribers only. Visit store.thetimes.co.uk for full T&Cs.
8.30 Coronation Street Billy’s loss of
control threatens his future, and
Jude’s announcement leaves
Mary heartbroken (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 The Apprentice: You’re Fired
Interview with the show’s freshly
rejected candidate (3/12)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 Anthony Joshua: The Fight of My
Life An intimate insight into the life
of one of Britain’ss major sporting
superstars, Anthony Joshua, as he
prepares for the world title fight
against Wladimir Klitschko (AD)
11.25 Ambulance The paramedics deal with
the consequences of Storm Doris,
including people trapped in a car by a
fallen tree and a 94-year-old blown
over feeding the birds. With winds
reaching more than 60mph, the Air
Ambulance team is grounded and
instead faces an agonisingly long
journey by car on blue lights (8/8) (r)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Kirsty Wark
10.30 Regional News
12.30am-6.00 BBC News
10.45 After the News Nick Ferrari is joined
by guests including the Liberal
Democrat leader Vince Cable and
the journalist Quentin Letts
11.15 Louis Theroux: Dark States
— Trafficking Sex Louis explores the
sex trade in Houston, examining how
the city has become a major centre
for people trafficking and uncovering
the complex dynamic between
prostitutes and pimps (2/3) (r) (AD)
11.20 Uefa Champions League
Highlights Mark Pougatch presents
a round-up of the matchday three
fixtures, which included Chelsea v
AS Roma, Benfica v Manchester
United, and Bayern Munich v Celtic
12.15am Sign Zone: Who Do You Think You Are?
The American actress Ruby Wax traces her family tree,
as she journeys to Central Europe to learn more about her
parents who fled from Vienna to escape the Nazis
(10/10) (r) (AD, SL) 1.15-2.15 Astronauts: Do You
Have What It Takes? Last in the series (r) (AD, SL)
12.40am Jackpot247 Interactive gaming 3.00 May the
Best House Win. North Yorkshire coast homeowners Mary
Fox, Stephen McEvoy, Pamela Line and Simon McCabe rate
one another’s properties, hoping to win the £1,000 prize.
Narrated by Guy Porritt (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Talk show (r) (SL)
10.00 Trump and Russia: Sex, Spies and
Scandal Matt Frei investigates one of
the biggest tales of political scandals
of our time, and explores the alleged
links between Donald Trump and
Russia during his presidential
campaign. See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.00 Becky Watts: Killed for Kicks The
story behind the murder of 16-year-old
Becky Watts, who was killed by her
stepbrother Nathan Matthews and his
partner Shauna Hoare in February
2015. This programme documents the
huge police manhunt that unfolded
in the wake of her disappearance
11.05 How to Get a Council House
Portsmouth housing officers help a
couple who were left unable to pay
their rent when their housemate
suddenly moved out and the landlord
gave them notice (3/3) (r) (AD)
11.05 Notorious: The Philpott Fire —
5 Years On Documentary looking at
the aftermath of the house fire set by
Mick Philpott in May 2012 that killed
six children, five of them his own,
which led to him being jailed for life
for manslaughter the following year (r)
12.10am Educating Greater Manchester (r) (AD)
1.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r) 1.55 FILM:
Letters to Juliet (PG, 2010) Romantic drama starring
Amanda Seyfried and Vanessa Redgrave (SL) 3.40 Best of
Both Worlds (r) 4.35 Building the Dream (r) (AD) 5.30
Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (r) 5.35-6.20 Countdown (r)
12.05am Killer Schoolgirl: Countdown to Murder
The events that led Lorraine Thorpe to kill twice when she
was just 15 (r) 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 The Nightmare
Neighbour Next Door (r) 4.00 Criminals: Caught on
Camera (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine
Designs (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
13
1GT
television & radio
The Apprentice
BBC One, 9pm
The candidates are
plunged into the tech
world this week with
a challenge that
involves branding,
programming and
selling a prototype toy
robot to independent
retailers. With the boys
two down already, Lord
Sugar shifts Michaela,
who has four brothers,
on to Team Vitality
and makes her project
manager. “You’d just
better all behave,” she
says. As if. They settle
on a robot aimed at the
over-60s, programmed
to deliver reminders of
yoga moves and when
to take medication. The
girls, under project
manager Jade, decide
to make a study aid
robot for kids. Who will
be exterminated?
Doc Martin
ITV, 9pm
In tonight’s episode of
the comedy drama,
Martin Clunes’s Men
Behaving Badly co-star
Caroline Quentin
reprises her role as
Angela Sim, the
eccentric owner of the
local animal sanctuary.
Angela is looking after
her nephew for a
couple of weeks. He’s
a bit of a chatterbox,
and Angela tells Louisa
that the family think
the boy might have
ADHD. “He might just
be naturally irritating,”
says the Doc. “Lots of
children are.” And he
should know — poor
baby James is teething.
Elsewhere, Al gets a big
order for Bert’s whisky,
and Mrs Tishell is
behaving even more
oddly than usual.
Trump and
Russia: Sex, Spies
and Scandal
Channel 4, 10pm
Evidence of Russian
involvement in the US
presidential election
has overshadowed the
Trump administration
since its first day in
office. Trump has
consistently denied any
suggestion of collusion,
publicly doubting the
US intelligence
community’s conclusion
that Putin ordered a
campaign to tilt the
outcome of the election
in his favour. Channel
4’s former Washington
correspondent Matt
Frei investigates an
epic tale of mystery and
intrigue that reads like
a thriller, featuring
spies, models and some
of the most notorious
political players.
Sport choice
BT Sport 2, 7pm
Manchester United
take on Benfica at the
Estádio da Luz in the
Champions League.
The Portuguese side
lost their opening two
matches, including
a 5-0 humbling to
Basel. On BT Sport 3
at 7pm Chelsea
welcome AS Roma
to Stamford Bridge.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Flash (r) 7.00 Modern Family (r)
8.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r) (AD) 9.00 The Dog
Whisperer (r) (AD) 10.00 David Attenborough’s
Galapagos (r) (AD) 11.00 Modern Family (r)
12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii
Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00
The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.00 Modern Family. Mitchell and Cameron
continue their quest to adopt another child (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. New series.
Superhero adventure starring Brandon Routh
9.00 Stella. Last-ever episode. The day of
Stella’s graduation arrives. Last in the series
10.00 Sing: Ultimate A Cappella. Five more
vocal groups compete in the medley round (r)
11.05 The Simpsons. Double bill (r)
12.00 A League of Their Own: US Road Trip 2.0
(r) (AD) 1.00am The Force: Essex (r) (AD) 2.00
NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 3.00 The Blacklist (r)
(AD) 4.00 Stop, Search, Seize. Documentary
(r) (AD) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r) (AD)
6.00am Urban Secrets (r) 8.00 Richard E
Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD) 10.00 The West
Wing (r) 12.00 Without a Trace (r) 1.00pm
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r) 2.00 Blue
Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00 The British (r) (AD)
4.00 The West Wing. Political drama (r)
6.00 Without a Trace. A 17-year-old
school basketball star disappears (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. An
ice-hockey player is killed during a match (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Danny and Baez investigate
the theft of a famous car (r) (AD)
9.00 Ray Donovan. Jay asks for a secret
meeting with Daryll (10/12)
10.10 I’m Dying Up Here. In the final episode,
Goldie forces Cassie to pick a side, and
a shocking event changes everything
11.25 The Sopranos. Tension mounts between
Tony Blundetto and Johnny Sack (r)
12.40am The Sopranos. Christopher and Tony
dispose of a corpse (r) 1.50 Tin Star (r) (AD)
2.50 Ray Donovan (r) 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese:
A Year to Save My Life USA (r) 8.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r)
11.00 Highway Patrol (r) 12.00 Road Wars (r)
1.00pm UK Border Force (r) (AD) 2.00 Nothing
to Declare (r) 4.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (r) 5.00 Criminal Minds (r)
6.45 My Kitchen Rules: Australia. The teams
create different dishes using the same meat
8.00 Children’s Hospital. A two-year-old
arrives with a dislocated elbow (1/12) (r)
8.30 Children’s Hospital. A nine-year-old
has a tumour removed (2/12) (r)
9.00 Criminal Minds. A mass murder occurs
at an internet security company (r)
10.00 Criminal Minds. A killer targets the
survivors of a high-school massacre (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds. The team investigates
abductions of children in St Louis (r)
12.00 Stalker (r) 1.00am Bones (r) (AD) 2.00
Criminal Minds (r) 3.00 Scandal (r) (AD) 4.00
Cold Case (r) 5.00 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.00am Brahms & Szymanowski Symphonies
7.45 Classical Destinations 8.00 Auction 8.30
Watercolour Challenge 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 10.00 Master of Photography
11.00 Painting the Johnsons 12.00 Discovering:
Edward G Robinson 1.00pm Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 2.00 Watercolour Challenge
2.30 Auction 3.00 The Art Show (AD) 4.00
Too Young to Die (AD) 5.00 Discovering: Elvis
Costello 5.30 Watercolour Challenge
6.00 Discovering: Jack Lemmon 7.00 The
Gardens of Pompeii (AD) 8.00 Landscape Artist
of the Year 2017. New series 9.00 Passions
10.00 Tony Palmer’s The World of Hugh Hefner
11.00 Hollywood Censored (AD) 12.00
Landscape Artist of the Year 2017 1.00am
FILM: Finding Vivian Maier (12, 2013)
Documentary about the photographer 2.30 Tales
of the Unexpected (AD) 3.30 Auction 4.00
Darbar Festival 2016 5.00 South Bank Show
Originals: William Golding 5.30 South Bank
Show Originals: Mama Lu Parks
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Live
One-Day International Cricket: South Africa v
Bangladesh. Coverage of the second contest in
the three-match series from Boland Park in Paarl
4.00pm Sky Sports Today 5.00 Sky Sports
News at 5. Sports news and updates
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6
7.00 Sky Sports Tonight
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special. Featuring
pre-match reports and news of all tonight’s
goals as they go in, with studio guests keeping
an eye on the big games and talking points
10.00 The Debate. Discussion on the
latest Premier League news
11.00 Sky Sports News. A round-up of the day’s
talking points and a look ahead to the events
that are likely to make the news tomorrow
12.00 Sky Sports News 3.00am Live PGA Tour
Golf: The CJ Cup. Coverage of day one of the
inaugural staging of the tournament, which is
the first time the tour has visited South Korea
and is being held at Nine Bridges, Jeju Island
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm Nolan Live.
Lively debate on issues affecting Northern
Ireland, with Stephen Nolan 11.40 Anthony
Joshua: The Fight of My Life. An insight into
the life of one of Britain’s major sporting
superstars (AD) 12.20am Ambulance. The
paramedics deal with the consequences of
Storm Doris (r) 1.20-6.00 BBC News
Subscribers know more. Subscribers get more. Subscribers save more.
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 8.00pm-9.00 Council
House Crackdown. A high-earning executive
fraudulently claiming a council home
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 11.15pm Spotlight. Social
and political issues (r) 11.45-12.15am Mock
the Week. With James Acaster, Tom Allen,
Ed Byrne, Rhys James and Ellie Taylor (r)
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 8.00pm-9.00 Who Will
Pick the Berries? A Landward Special.
A documentary following the summer season
of 2017 in the berry fields of Scotland
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm-11.10 Scotland
Tonight 12.40am Teleshopping 1.40 After
Midnight. News and conversation 3.10 Storage
Hoarders (r) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
timespacks.com/getmore
0800 028 5351
UTV
As ITV except: 12.40am Teleshopping
1.40-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Pagans and Pilgrims: Britain’s Holiest
Places. Ifor ap Glyn explores why some islands
have become holy retreats as he views the
Mappa Mundi in Hereford Cathedral and visits
Lindisfarne, Northumberland (5/6) (r)
8.00 Treasures of Chinese Porcelain. Lars Tharp
explores the enduring popularity of Chinese
porcelain in European auction houses, and
investigates why demand for such items rose
dramatically in the 18th century (r) (AD)
9.00 Britain’s Lost Masterpieces. Dr Bendor
Grosvenor and Emma Dabiri travel to Arbroath
in Scotland to investigate a mysterious
16th-century portrait thought to be by one of
the Old Masters. Last in the series (AD)
10.00 Reformation. While in hiding, and widely
believed to be dead, Martin Luther translates
the bible into German for the first time (2/2)
11.30 The Renaissance Unchained. Waldemar
Januszczak examines the chaotic climax of
the period. Last in the series (r) (AD)
12.30am British Gardens in Time (r) (AD) 1.30
Treasures of Chinese Porcelain (r) (AD) 2.303.30 Britain’s Lost Masterpieces (r) (AD, SL)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Charmed (r)
8.00 Melissa & Joey (r) 9.00 2 Broke Girls (r)
(AD) 10.00 Baby Daddy (r) 11.00 How I Met
Your Mother (r) (AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r)
(AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
2.00 Melissa & Joey (r) 3.00 Baby Daddy (r)
4.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs (r)
(AD) 5.30 Stage School. The Vamps teach the
girls how to be a success in the pop industry
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Zack tries to help Leela (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers. Tracey Kindred
creates a gothic two-foot tall wedding cake (r)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 Don’t Tell the Bride. A groom-to-be
plans a 1950s drive-in wedding
10.00 Naked Attraction (r) (AD)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.00 Rude Tube. Alternative sporting and
athletic videos (r) 1.05am Don’t Tell the Bride
(r) 2.05 First Dates (r) (AD) 3.00 Rude Tube (r)
4.15 Rude(ish) Tube (r) 4.40 Charmed (r)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (r)
10.00 FILM: The Black Shield of Falworth
(U, 1954) Swashbuckling adventure with Tony
Curtis and Janet Leigh 12.00 Food Unwrapped
(r) (AD) 12.35pm Grand Designs (r) (AD) 1.35
A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (r) 3.45 Sun,
Sea and Selling Houses (r) 4.50 Homes by the
Sea (r) (AD) 5.50 The Supervet (r)
6.55 Car SOS. A 1980s Porsche 911 suffering
from almost terminal rust (r)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud returns to
view the result of a couple’s project to convert
a traditional farmhouse into a chalet in the
French ski resort of Les Gets (10/11) (r) (AD)
9.00 999: On the Frontline. Paramedics are
called to deal with an aggressive prisoner (6/10)
10.00 Obsessive Compulsive Country House
Cleaners. New series. Cleaners head to a
Regency mansion in north-east Scotland (AD)
11.05 24 Hours in A&E. A retired firefighter is
treated after being hit with a golf club (r) (AD)
12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
1.05 999: On the Frontline (r) 2.05 Obsessive
Compulsive Country House Cleaners (r) (AD)
3.10-3.50 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am Charade (PG, 1963) Romantic
thriller starring Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant
1.15pm True Grit (PG, 1969) Western
starring John Wayne 3.50 North to Alaska
(U, 1960) Comedy Western with John Wayne
6.15 The Core (12, 2003) A team of scientists
embarks on a risky mission to save the world
from destruction after the Earth’s core stops
spinning. Sci-fi thriller starring Aaron Eckhart,
Hilary Swank and Stanley Tucci (AD)
9.00 Dracula Untold (15, 2014) A Romanian
knight makes a dangerous supernatural bargain
to gain the power to defend his homeland from
Turkish invaders. Fantasy adventure starring
Luke Evans, Dominic Cooper and Charles Dance
10.45 Last Vegas (12, 2013) Four
sixtysomething friends decide to relive their
wild youth with a trip to Las Vegas. Comedy
starring Michael Douglas, Robert De Niro,
Morgan Freeman and Kevin Kline (AD)
12.55am-3.05 Cameraperson (15, 2016)
Kirsten Johnson’s film combines images
from her 25-year career as a documentary
cinematographer, exploring the relationships
between film-makers and their subjects
6.00am You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 6.25
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.15
The Great Indoors (r) (AD) 8.00 Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 8.30 The Cube (r) 9.30 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show (r) 10.20 The Great Indoors (r)
(AD) 11.15 Dress to Impress (r) 12.20pm
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 12.50 Best of You’ve Been
Framed! Gold (r) 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
6.00 Dress to Impress (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 Celebrity Showmance. Kyle has a wardrobe
malfunction while taking sexy selfies
10.00 Family Guy. Brian writes a play
that becomes a hit in Quahog (r) (AD)
10.30 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.05 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 American Dad! (r) (AD)
12.05am American Dad! Stan and Roger have
a fight (r) (AD) 12.30 Timewasters (r) 1.05
Two and a Half Men (r) 1.30 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records (r) 2.30 Teleshopping
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.55
Heartbeat (r) (AD) 7.50 Wild at Heart (r) 8.50
Judge Judy (r) 10.10 Inspector Morse (r) (AD)
12.30pm Wild at Heart (r) 1.35 Heartbeat (r)
(AD) 2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r) 3.40
Inspector Morse. Lionel Jeffries guest stars (r)
6.00 Heartbeat. A woman is injured by a sniper
who strikes after a meeting of the flower show
committee. Lindsey Coulson guest stars (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. A reveller is murdered
at the New Orleans Mardi Gras — and suspicion
falls on Jessica’s cousin. Luckily, the amateur
sleuth just happens to be paying a visit (r) (AD)
8.00 Foyle’s War. American GIs arrive in
Hastings, and a barmaid’s involvement with a
visiting soldier leads to murder. Wartime crime
drama starring Michael Kitchen (1/4) (r) (AD)
10.10 Lewis. After a body is found on an Oxford
tour bus, the detectives are led to a country
estate where Hathaway spent much of his
childhood. Guest starring Nathaniel Parker,
Juliet Aubrey and Stella Gonet (1/4) (r) (AD)
12.05am Inspector Morse (r) 2.20 ITV3
Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am Football’s Greatest: Bobby Moore (r)
6.05 The Chase (r) 7.40 Counting Cars (r) 8.30
Pawn Stars (r) 9.30 Ironside (r) 10.30 Quincy
ME (r) 11.35 The Sweeney (r) 12.45pm The
Avengers (r) 1.50 Ironside (r) 2.55 Quincy ME
(r) 3.55 The Sweeney (r) 5.00 The Avengers (r)
6.05 Counting Cars. Danny is inspired to
breathe new life into a classic van (r)
6.35 Counting Cars. A visitor causes chaos (r)
7.00 Pawn Stars. Staff appraise an
Eli Whitney musket and a golf ball (r)
7.30 British Superbike Championship Highlights.
The final round of the season at Brands Hatch
9.00 FILM: Renegades (18, 1989) A Native
American searching for a stolen sacred tribal
artefact teams up with an undercover cop.
Action adventure starring Kiefer Sutherland,
Lou Diamond Phillips and Bill Smitrovich (AD)
11.10 FILM: Barb Wire (18, 1996) A bounty
hunter becomes a fugitive in a fascist future
after helping rebels fight the government.
Sci-fi thriller starring Pamela Anderson (AD)
1.15am The Sweeney. Regan finds romance (r)
2.15 Ax Men (r) (SL) 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve
Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear.
The actor Christian Slater guests (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. Jeremy and James go on an
adventure to rescue Richard from Canada (AD)
7.00 Top Gear. Richard Hammond tests the new
version of the Mazda MX-5 (AD)
8.00 Top Gear Winter Olympics Special.
The presenters use cars to compete in
Winter Olympic events in Norway (AD)
9.00 Taskmaster. Greg Davies hosts
10.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 2 (18, 1989)
The detectives set their sights on a South
African diplomat laundering drugs money via his
embassy in the US. Action thriller sequel with
Mel Gibson, Danny Glover and Joss Ackland
11.00 QI XL. With Cal Wilson and Jimmy Carr
12.20am Would I Lie to You? 1.00 Mock the
Week 1.40 The Last Man on Earth (AD) 2.40
Taskmaster 3.35 Harry Hill’s the Best of TV
Burp 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning 9.00
Casualty 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The Bill 1.00pm
Last of the Summer Wine 1.40 Brush Strokes
2.20 Birds of a Feather 3.00 London’s Burning
4.00 Pie in the Sky 5.00 Bergerac
6.00 Brush Strokes. Sandra and Jimmy break up
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo tries to
become famous. Gorden Kaye guest stars
7.20 As Time Goes By. Lionel gets
cold feet as the wedding approaches
8.00 Inspector George Gently. A young woman’s
body is found in a seemingly idyllic
Northumberland coastal village in 1966. Starring
Martin Shaw and Lee Ingleby (1/2) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. Jack and Strickland form an
unlikely alliance that sees them break the rules
to find out why a British soldier died while
taking part in a Ministry of Defence medical
trial. James Bolam stars (8/8) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Tracey believes her
house could be haunted. Linda Robson stars
12.00 The Bill. Double bill of the drama 1.00am
London’s Burning 2.00 No Place Like Home
3.35 Garden Hopping 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Raiders of the Lost Art (AD) 6.25
Impossible Engineering (AD) 7.15 Time Team
8.00 Walking Through History: Victoria and
Albert’s Highland Fling 9.00 Wild Africa 10.00
Clare Balding’s Secrets of a Suffragette (AD)
11.00 Impossible Engineering (AD) 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Walking Through History: Norman
Conquest of Pembrokeshire 2.00 Wild Africa
3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 Open All Hours 4.40
Blackadder II (AD) 5.20 Some Mothers
Do ’Ave ’Em. Betty finally goes into labour
6.00 WW2 Air Crash Detectives (1/6)
7.00 WW2 Air Crash Detectives (2/6)
8.00 Clare Balding’s Secrets of a Suffragette.
The actions of Emily Wilding Davison (AD)
9.00 The Great War in Numbers. The key events
of 1916, examining the unprecedented levels
of recruitment by both sides (AD)
10.00 Open All Hours. Comedy series
10.40 Blackadder II. Tom Baker guest stars (AD)
11.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em
12.00 Clare Balding’s Secrets of a Suffragette
(AD) 1.00am WW2 Air Crash Detectives
2.00 Secrets of War 3.00 Home Shopping
BBC Alba
5.00pm Peppa (r) 5.10 Creag nam Buthaidean
(Puffin Rock) (r) 5.25 Ben & Hoilidh san
Rioghachd Bhig (Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom)
(r) 5.50 Seonaidh (Shaun the Sheep) (r) 5.55
Donnie Murdo (Danger Mouse) (r) 6.10
Dragonan — Reis chun an iomaill (Dragons:
Race to the Edge) 6.35 Sealgairean Spòrsail
(History Hunters) (r) 7.00 Turas a’ Bhradain
(The Salmon’s Journey) (r) 7.30 Mòd 2017:
Buinn Oir a’ Chomuinn Ghaidhealaich 9.00 An
Là (News) 9.10 Mòd 2017: Buinn Oir a’
Chomuinn Ghaidhealaich 10.00 Fonn Fonn Fonn
(r) 10.30 Bannan (The Ties That Bind) (r)
11.00-12.00 Air an Rathad (On the Road) (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Y Diwrnod Mawr (r) 6.15 Guto
Gwningen (r) 6.30 Sam Tân (r) 6.40 Twt (r)
6.50 Nico Nôg 7.00 Cacamwnci (r) 7.15
Olobobs 7.20 Digbi Draig (r) 7.35 Gwdihw (r)
7.50 Mwnci’n Dweud Mwnci’n Gwneud (r) 8.00
Ty Mel (r) 8.05 Sbarc (r) 8.20 Y Dywysoges
Fach (r) 8.35 Syrcas Deithiol Dewi (r) 8.45
Abadas (r) 9.00 Igam Ogam (r) 9.10 Oli Dan y
Don (r) 9.25 Chwedlau Tinga Tinga (r) 9.35
Cymylaubychain (r) 9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r)
10.00 Y Diwrnod Mawr (r) 10.15 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.30 Sam Tân (r) 10.40 Twt (r)
10.50 Nico Nôg (r) 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw:
Rapsgaliwn (r) 11.15 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Cwm
Teg (r) 11.20 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Holi Hana (r)
11.30 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Straeon Ty Pen (r)
11.45 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Jen a Jim Pob Dim (r)
12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Heno (r)
12.30 Garddio a Mwy (r) 1.00 Antur Caradoc
(r) 1.30 Angell yn India (r) (AD) 2.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Byd Pws (r) 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Y Dyfnfor 5.25
Ni Di Ni (r) 5.30 Llond Ceg : Mwy O Gega! 6.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 04 Wal (r) 6.30
Celwydd Noeth (r) 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y
Cwm. Eileen buckles under pressure and gives
Sioned a job, while Dai decides to start charging
Chester for his bed and board at Bryntirion
(AD) 8.25 Mike Phillips a’r Senghenydd Sirens.
The Senghenydd Sirens are sitting at the top of
the Second Division 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Her yr Hinsawdd. Professor Siwan Davies
visits climate experts around Wales. Last in the
series (AD) 10.00 Rygbi Pawb. Highlights of
Whitchurch High School Cardiff v Gower College
Swansea 10.45 Tân. The Swansea Central crew
attends a fire where the property owner has
tried to deal with the blaze (r) 11.15-12.20am
Dylan ar Daith. Dylan Iorwerth traces the
footsteps of the author and academic Margaret
Jones to Morocco, where she progressed from
her initial post as a lady’s companion (r)
14
Wednesday October 18 2017 | the times
1GT
What are your favourite puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7473
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
4
17
19
9
26
3
1
13
16
10
11
19
1
16
1
15
16
L
12
13
14
24
14
15
3
Scrabble ® Challenge No 1982
4
10
18
1
17
21
16
5
24
21
18
11
18
11
3
1
9
5
9
3
7
11
4
6
4
3
3
7
18
26
18
2L
25
1
4
9
18
21
13
11
15
26
17
18
2L
19
17
12
18
19
20
11
18
23
15
12
20
1
15
17
9
21
16
1
2L
7
26
21
9
1
17
15
9
21
24
17
9
18
21
21
17
19
S
P EOP L
R U
I N T EG
T D R
E L I DE
S B
I T S E
A
F I NE
I
C
RE E F E
E
7
9
4
24
Solution to Crossword 7472
N
E
A
RA
L
U
S
T
R
E
S
L E
A
L
O
AMO
N
F
S
E
OF T
I
T I
S
ADE
E
AR T
M
RA L
T
POO
L
COP
G
DYU
A
N
T
S
F
R
Y
U
P
S
11 12
13
14 15
2L
E
2L
TO
PLAN 2W
2W
E
A 3L
R 2L
2L
L
2L
3W
A
B
2W
C
2W
2L
D
E
F
3L
G
2L
3W
H
I
2L
26
18
26
21
11
20 You (archaic) (4)
23 Identity conferred in
church (9,4)
24 Way of operating (4)
25 Goodbye (dated) (6-2)
17
2
19
21
22
4
15
9
8
11
ABEOPTZ
19
What’s the highest score using
the Z with this rack?
5
Use only the board area shown. Collins Official
Scrabble Words is the authority used, although the
solutions are not unusual words. Standard Scrabble
rules apply for making the word plays.
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
L
1 Fine food shop (4)
2 Allotted period of work (5)
3 Say again (7)
4 Fundraising sale (6)
6 Provider of cover (7)
7 Large foreign rocks brought
by glacial action (8)
8 Solemn vow (4)
12 Communications device (8)
14 Rose from sleep (7)
16 Chanted (7)
17 Type of sheep (6)
19 Drive out (4)
21 Make a formal speech (5)
22 Brief note (4)
B
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 88010. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
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Lexica
No 3965
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
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No 3966
I
O
A
E
A
K
A
U
D
I
P
F
N
U
A
P
T
G
T
A
A
F
I
E
I
R
D
R
T
D
N
P
F
R
Y
S
O
O
R
I
W
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4149
Futoshiki No 3023
>
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
2
23
∧
>
∨
14
24
6
23
13
3
14
18
20
18
19
4
7
16
<
4
12
20
10
14
25
10
23
23
10
12
19
4
10
4
23
3
16
16
17
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
11
23
21
13
4
22
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
17
16
17
7
∨
4
3
3
∧
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Kakuro No 1982
>
<
Challenge compiled by Allan Simmons
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2017
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday’s solution, right
S
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© PUZZLER MEDIA
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Down
Key
2L = double letter
3L = triple letter
2W = double word
3W = triple word
Letter values
AEIOULNRST=1
DG=2 BCMP=3
FHVWY=4 K=5
JX=8 QZ=10
What’s the highest score using
the Q with this rack?
4
25
1 Give a detailed account of (8)
5 Green fruit (4)
9 Travel permit (7,6)
10 Greek portico or colonnade
(4)
11 Eager, avid (for) (7)
13 Fitted inside one another (6)
15 Relating to, eg, 5 across (6)
18 Programme of a serial (7)
10
BENOPQU
23
Across
9
21
22
24
8
3W
9
B
17
16
17
13
4
21
© PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3157
the times | Wednesday October 18 2017
15
1GT
MindGames
White: Michael Adams
Black: Alexei Shirov
chess.com Masters
Isle of Man 2017
Ruy Lopez
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bb5 a6 4 Ba4
Nf6 5 d3
This move was popular in the
19th century, sometimes as a prelude to White castling queenside.
5 ... b5 6 Bb3 Be7 7 a4 Rb8 8
axb5 axb5
The previous transaction has
left White in charge of the a-file.
9 0-0 0-0 10 Re1 d6 11 c3 Be6 12
Bxe6 fxe6 13 Bg5
More common is 13 d4, as in
Jakovenko-Korchnoi, Dagomys
2008. Adams’s move seems more
logical in that it postpones the
dissolution of Black’s doubled
pawns.
13 ... Nd7 14 Be3 d5 15 Nbd2 Nc5
16 Nb3 Na4
Seemingly eccentric but in fact
best. The tactical try 16 ... dxe4 17
Nxc5 exf3 is refuted by 18 Nxe6.
17 Qe2 Bd6 18 d4
________
á 4 1 4kD]
àG 0 D 0p]
ß D DpD D]
ÞDpD h D ]
ÝnD DpD D]
ÜDN) D D ]
Û ) DQ)P)]
Ú$ D $ I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
21 ... Qg5?
An over-optimistic and premature attack. Black should play 21 ...
Ra8 as 22 Qxb5 Qg5 is now dangerous for White because of the
threat of 23 ... Nf3+.
22 Nd4 Nf3+ 23 Nxf3 exf3 24
Qxe6+ Kh8 25 g3 Ra8 26 Bd4
White is now winning. Black’s
only counterplay resides in somehow getting his queen to h3 to
exploit his far-flung pawn on f3.
However, White’s massive centralisation makes this option a
non-starter. 26 ... Nxb2 is crushed
by 27 Rxa8 Rxa8 28 Qe8+ mating.
26 ... c5 27 Be3 Qh5 28 h4 Nxb2
29 Rxa8 Rxa8 30 Qc6 Rg8 31
Qxb5 Qf5 32 Kh2 Nd3 33 Rd1
Ne5 34 Qxc5 h5 35 Bd4 Re8 36
Bxe5 Rxe5 37 Rd8+ Kh7 38 Qf8
Kg6 39 Rd6+ Kh7 40 Rd8 Kg6 41
Qg8 Qe6 42 Qxe6+ Rxe6 43 Rf8
Black resigns
________
á D D DkD] Winning Move
à0 D D 4 ]
ß 0 !bDrD] Black to play. This position is from
Sochi 2017.
ÞD D 1 D ] Murzin-Rozum,
The white king is badly exposed and
ÝPDPDP0 0] Black now took full advantage. Can you
ÜDPD DPDp] spot the accurate tactical sequence that
Û D D I D] led to a quick win?
ÚD DRDRDB] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
22
+9
MEDIUM
156
+ 95 x 3 + 89 + 1/2 – 91
HARDER
179
x 8 + 1/4
The danger is West holding ♦A
and East ♠K so at trick three, spurning the spade finesse, you lead to
♠A. If ♠K falls, excellent. If both follow low, get on with setting up clubs.
Contract: 4♥
Lead: ♥ 8
♣42
S
♠ Q 10 9 5 3
1♥
4♥
♥9
♦K 6
♣AK765
S
W
N
1♠
2♥
4♠
E
1♥
End
You are in a great contract. The
only real danger is West holding
♦A over your ♦K. You would go
down if you were to run ♠Q (in
isolation, the correct choice to
avoid a spade loser) and East were
to win ♠K then switch to a
diamond, West beating ♦K with
♦A and cashing a second diamond.
Because your only problem is
West holding ♦A, assume it to be
so. If West has ♦A and ♥QJ, he
cannot have ♠K or he’d have bid
more than 2♥. So if West holds
♠K (and the finesse is working),
you do not need to take it —
because East must hold ♦A and
your contract is not in danger.
OF IT
♥A K 10 5 3
♦K 3
♣K 4
W
Pass
End
N
3♥
+8
OF IT
70%
OF IT
1/2
+7
x3
–7
75%
OF IT
– 84
4/5
+ 34
1/2
+ 989
OF IT
OF IT
1
x 3 + 343 +OF /IT2 – 795
OF IT
OF IT
2
2
7
Killer Tricky No 5678
12
21
12min
13
20
9
13
24
6
15
10
13
18
12
12
22
8
3
35
15
7
20
21
9
19
51min
17
22
10
29
17
8
1
5
2
4
8
Unwilling to lead from his broken
side suits, West leads ♥8, to ♥Q
and your ♥K. At trick two you lead
♠2 to ♠Q, East winning ♠K and
leading ♥6. What is your correct
play (overtricks not important)?
If you rise with ♥A, you’ll make
11 tricks if (as here) West’s ♥J falls.
However, if West has led a singleton heart (rarely my choice, but
players do), you’ll go down. For
East will win the second spade,
cash ♥J and now you’ll be a trump
short in dummy to ruff your two
losing spades.
Conversely, if you finesse ♥10,
you’ll make even if you’ve guessed
wrong and lose to West’s ♥J, for
with hearts 2-2, you can easily ruff
both your spades. The only dangerous scenario is East holding
♥QJx but finessing ♥10 caters to
that. andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
+
6
9 7
8 9
4
9
4
3
8
2
5
1
7
6
8
2
6
4
1
7
3
9
5
6
5
7
1
4
8
2
3
9
20
4
1
9
6
3
2
5
8
7
7
6
1
2
8
3
9
5
4
5
8
4
9
7
1
6
2
3
3
9
2
5
6
4
7
1
8
2
5
3
9
8
4
7
6
1
9
6
8
1
2
7
3
4
5
4
1
7
3
6
5
2
8
9
5
2
6
4
9
1
8
7
3
8
4
9
7
3
6
1
5
2
7
3
1
2
5
8
4
9
6
6
7
4
5
1
3
9
2
8
1
8
2
6
4
9
5
3
7
3
9
5
8
7
2
6
1
4
=
10
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
19
19
12
10
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
6
10
5
3
5
4
S P UR T I
Q N
U
UN F I T
A
U
U
BARK
D
L
M
UN S E A T
N
S
C L UMS I
I
S
E
V I ADUC
I
G R
L E E K O
6
7
9
7
8
6
6
4
2
3
5
9
1
7
8
9
8
3
1
6
7
5
2
4
1
7
5
2
4
8
3
9
6
8
3
6
9
2
4
7
5
1
6
1
9
5
4
7
3
2
8
2
5
4
3
8
1
7
6
9
3
8
7
9
2
6
5
1
4
4
7
2
8
6
3
9
5
1
7
2
1
6
8
5
4
3
9
3
6
9
8
7
1
2
4
5
2
5
8
4
3
6
9
1
7
4
1
7
5
9
2
6
8
3
5
6
1
2
7
9
4
8
3
8
9
3
1
5
4
6
7
2
1
4
6
7
9
8
2
3
5
9
3
5
6
1
2
8
4
7
7
2
8
4
3
5
1
9
6
5
5 > 4
∨
2
3
1
2 < 3
5
4
x
4 4
7
2
8
9
-
+
+
4
1
6
2
1
x
+
+
8
6
3
5
7
1
4
2
9
5
4
9
2
8
6
1
7
3
9
8
4
6
2
5
7
3
1
7
5
6
1
4
3
2
9
8
3
2
1
8
9
7
6
5
4
2
1
7
3
6
9
8
4
5
6
9
8
4
5
2
3
1
7
4
3
5
7
1
8
9
6
2
S
O
S
M
I
T
W
D
E
I
P
I
A
F
I
S
T
U
M
G
O
U
F
N
Lexica 3964
3
x
1
7
2
9
3
4
5
8
6
Lexica 3963
2
3
Suko 2058
Sudoku 9390
5
9
4
7
1
3
8
6
2
4
1
2
3
5
∨
∧
∨
3
5
4
1 < 2
Set Square 1984
6
Scrabble 1981
UPTOWN D7
down (22)
MANPOWER A15
down (135)
NG
J OGS
A O C
T
T AB L E AU
I
T
A M
OORKNOB
N
U
L
E D I B L E
S
E
L
L Y
K I W I
A
B
T
N
T
OO Z E D
E
T
E
E
R T HODOX
Futoshiki 3022
KenKen 4148
18
29
=
216
Killer 5677
Cell Blocks 3039
26
3
Sudoku 9389
2
3
8
7
5
9
4
6
1
8
12
-
=
24
9 8 6 7
7 9 8 5
2 3 6
9
6 8
1 8
1 3
3 2 7
8 9 6 4 5
3 5 2
9
2
9 7 8
1
8 9 6
E
21
x
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
= 15 positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
works? We’ve
= 3 put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
Codeword 3156
2 3
1 2
1
7 9
9 6
6 8
8
1
5 4
3 2
28
Pass
x
+
1
11
= 9 from 1-9 are
+
x
Killer 5676
Killer Deadly No 5679
All the digits
+
÷
Kakuro 1981
1
7
5
3
9
6
8
4
2
17
-
+
Sudoku 9388
7
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Solutions
3
1
2
5
11
13
16
5
2
3
+
Yesterday’s answers
alap, alp, dap, dop, dopa, dopy, lap,
lop, opal, pad, pal, paly, pay, payload,
payola, play, playa, plod, ploy, ply, pod,
pol, poly, pya, yap
21
4 5
3 5
From these letters, make words of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 8 words, average;
11, good; 17, very good; 23, excellent
18
6
2
4
6
Set Square No 1985
14
28 - Wishful Thinking
(3) In reverse
If the only danger to your contract
is for a particular card to be lying
in a particular hand, mentally put Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
it there. What follows from that
♠Q 3
♥9 7 4 2
assumption?
♦A 8 4 2
In this exercise, you are in 4♠
♣A 6 3
on ♥ Q lead after the bidding
♠K J 4
♠ A 10 7 5
N
below. East lets ♥Q win and West
♥Q 6
♥J 8
W E
continues at trick two with ♥J,
♦Q 10 6 5
S
♦J 9 7
which you ruff. Plan the play.
♣J 9 8 5
♣Q 10 7 2
♠
9
8
6
2
♠A J 6 4 2
♥7 5 3
♦10 8 4
x 2 – 12
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
Counting and Card Placement
3/5
EASY
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Grandmaster Michael Adams was
easily the best UK performer in the
recently concluded Isle of Man
International Masters. Adams registered four wins and five draws
from nine games, sharing fourth
prize with such luminaries as
American Olympiad gold medallist
Fabiano Caruana and former world
champion Vladimir Kramnik.
The most illustrious scalp to
fall into Adams’s hands was that
of the one-time World Championship Candidates finalist grandmaster Alexei Shirov.
It seems strange to revert to
the strategy of liquidating Black’s
doubled central pawns, which
White had already rejected on
move 13. Best is 18 Bg5 with the
intention of regrouping this piece
via h4 to g3, where it menaces the
black centre.
18 ... dxe4 19 Nxe5 Bxe5 20 dxe5
Nxe5 21 Ba7
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Adams’s exploit
Cell Blocks No 3040
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
5
x
+
4
Quiz 1 The Parthenon 2 1922 Committee
or the Conservative Private Members’
Committee 3 Terrier 4 Brief Encounter
5 Alan Walker 6 Julius Caesar 7 Yama
8 Tata Motors 9 Cassava 10 Alberta
11 Troubles 12 Florian Zeller 13 Asahi Breweries
14 Vulcanised rubber 15 Alfred, Lord Tennyson
P
I
G
U
B
E
R
O
W
U
L
O
T
D
Z
C
Y
E
O
S
E
D
Word watch
Luffward (b) (Nautical)
windward, also “loofward”
Eggling (a) The sale of
eggs (archaic)
Mushrump (c) An
upstart, a person who has
undeservedly gained their
position or wealth
Brain Trainer
Easy 71; Medium 670;
Harder 3,668
Chess 1 ... Rg2+! 2 Bxg2
Rxg2+ 3 Ke1 Qc3+ 4 Rd2
Qc1+ 5 Rd1 Qe3 mate
18.10.17
MindGames
Sudoku
Difficult No 9391
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Fiendish No 9392
7
9 4 8
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
4
2
6
Eggling
a Selling eggs
b Anxious
c Bargaining over price
Mushrump
a A crush
b A cut of meat
c An upstart
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
Answers on page 15
8
3 9
1 7
3
4
2
2
9
PUZZLER MEDIA
2 7
1
8
9 7
1 5
4
1
5 9
2
7
8
5 1
4 2
3
7
8
6
7
Luffward
a A large collar
b Towards the wind
c Bad-tempered
Super fiendish No 9393
4
6
3
5
5
7
Cluelines
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
GETTY IMAGES
1 The Elgin
Marbles originally
adorned which
Athenian temple?
11 The Majestic Hotel
in Kilnalough is the
setting for which novel
by JG Farrell?
2 In 2010, the Tory
MP Graham Brady
succeeded Michael
Spicer as chairman of
which committee?
12 Which French
author (b. 1979) wrote
the plays The Mother,
The Truth, The Father
and The Lie?
15
6 The Roman
consul Gaius Marius
married Julia, the
paternal aunt of
which dictator?
4 Dr Alec Harvey and
Laura Jesson fall in love
in which 1945 film?
indigenous passenger
car, the Indica?
9 The African dish
fufu and Jamaican
flatbread bammy
are made from
which crop, aka
manioc or yuca?
7 The Vedas described
which Hindu god of
the dead as the first
man who died?
5 Once known as DJ
Walkzz, which BritishNorwegian EDM
producer released the
2015 single Faded?
10 Canada’s three
Prairie Provinces are
Saskatchewan,
Manitoba and what?
8 In 1998, which
company launched
India’s first fully
13 Which Tokyo-based
company’s Super Dry
lager is Japan’s bestselling beer?
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
Yesterday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 941
14 NHL ice hockey
pucks are made of
what substance?
15 Which 19thcentury Poet Laureate
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
2
3
4
7
5
6
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
22
21
23
H A N
A
A
M I N
T
MN E
A
S
N A
G
P
E Y A
T
N
A
O
U M
T E A
D S
P
O
N
Y S
O
B R
E
ND
MO T
A
U
F F E R
I
N
T A C K
E
YON Y
R
SON
T
S
CCOUN T
H
N
U
GA RD E N
by Mara
8
9
D E C K
A
I
V I T A
C
E
CH I
E
MA R I
E
DOMB
I
A
C A RG
R
A
L A Y
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
The Times Quick Cryptic No 942
1
5
4
7 8
8 3 5
Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
The Times Daily Quiz
3 Parson Russell, Kerry
Blue, Norfolk and
Skye are dog breeds in
which group?
2
8
4
1 9
8 6
7
1
6 5
8 3
5 8
9
7 1 5 6
2
8
7 5
9 5 3
1
Across
1 Just terrible alongside Labour
leader (6)
4 Land also at sea (4)
9 Funny spat in polished
comedic genre (9)
10 Bird stuck in the mud (3)
11 Sad direction taken in trial (57)
13 As is “T” for “Tiramisu”,
perhaps? (6)
15 Energetic sort many recalled
in party (6)
17 Final part getting house in
order (4,8)
20 Field in spring, cut (3)
21 Latest run for paper (9)
22 Rugby in state of disrepair (4)
23 Writer implicating boy in fraud
(6)
Down
1 Tilt table (4)
2 Cry out loud for marine
animal (5)
3 Predictable uprisings run out
of control (12)
5
6
7
8
12
14
16
18
19
US crime appalling within
borders of Alabama (7)
So urgent to cook fish (8)
Record attack written up with
accuracy, ultimately (5)
One totally exposed in the
water? (6-6)
Bishop has composed chorale
for a single man (8)
Things beaten in defeat, I’m
panicking! (7)
Boast new top (5)
Scary — like a moustache? (5)
College record elevated (4)
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