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The Times Times 2 - 23 October 2017

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October 23 | 2017
On Monday
Sir,
Yours, Mussolini,
Agatha Christie,
PG Wodehouse
and more
The best letters to The Times . . . ever
2
1GT
Monday October 23 2017 | the times
times2
Look, but don’t
That’s why you’ll
always find me by
the exit at parties
Kevin Maher
H
ey, older people! I’m
saying this loudly so
you can hear me. I’m
pretending that we’re
at a party and that
you’re struggling to
catch my words over
the bad acoustics,
background music and general chitchatty mêlée. Anyway, I’ve got great
news for you. Harvard scientists have
invented a brain-training game that
can help you to focus more clearly
on conversations while in noisy places.
Yes, the scientists have tested
subjects “of a certain age” (roughly
70 years old) and found that, after
repeated use of their game, the
septuagenarian socialites could in
noisy situations discern up to 25 per
cent more words than previously. The
scientists are hoping the game will be
commercially available within the next
five years, but in the meantime I can
only say, as loudly as I can: “What?
Are they mad? Those interfering
busybodies are about to ruin a
perfectly good excuse for walking out
of any given social situation.”
Because, really, one of the very few
joys involved in (slowly, very slowly, I
must add) becoming an “older person”
is the ability to absent yourself, subtly
or brazenly, from parties. When you’re
young, like twenties young, you are
burdened with this neurotic need to
go to everything, to chatter and to
network, and make sure you don’t miss
out. “Helen’s party? Oh my God!
Soooo much fun!” “Jason’s wedding?
Can you believe that speech?” “The
launch party? Utterly mind-blowing.
Ian McEwan is so interesting.”
Now, however, one of my favourite
things in life is simply walking out of
parties. It is almost always more
enjoyable than the party itself. Just
that beautiful ineffable freedom, that
gust of cool nightly air rushing over
you with a sweet cleansing caress. “I’m
just going to the loo, I’ll be back in a
second!” As if. That’s pretty much my
signature exit line these days. I went to
a big movie party recently, with film
stars and everything, and I lasted
approximately 95 seconds. Did a wide,
roaming loop of the room, said a few
hi’s and hellos, then walked straight
out through the door. At the last
wedding I attended I didn’t even make
My dog is
staring
at me
Speaking of
unsophisticated
creatures . . . Thanks to
researchers at the
University of Plymouth,
it to the coffee course. I even left early
on the night of my own book launch.
And, please, don’t misunderstand
me. I’m never rude or grumpy when
I’m out and about. I can, in fact, when
I try my hardest, be “good” company
(I do jokes, do a couple of quality
accents and I have half-baked opinions
on probably everything). And I’m
always incredibly grateful too, and
often humbled, honoured and slightly
embarrassed to be asked out to
anything at all (it’s that Groucho Marx
idea about doubting the credibility of a
club that would have me as a member).
Plus, ironically, I love nothing more
than enjoying meaty conversations
with complete strangers. I was at a
party last month, for instance, where
I spent an early hour, just at the start,
talking to an Italian lawyer about
Brexit. It was fascinating stuff, and he
had tons of inside angles concerning
the legal machinations of any eventual
Brexit deal. I’m not sure what he got
from me in return, other than a willing
listener and a rundown of my top ten
courtroom movies, but it was certainly
a genuine human connection. Yet,
even then, after the lawyer drifted
away and the party began in earnest,
I heard myself saying: “Right, I’m off
to the loo, I’ll be back in a second!”
So, yes, indeed, bring on the braintraining games. Open up the parties to
the over-70s. But always remember, if
you find yourself unable to hear the
conversation in a noisy room there’s
always an easy option. Leave the room.
we now know that
when dogs look at us
with big sad “puppy
eyes’’ it’s deliberate.
Yes, apparently the
typical dog waits until
it catches our attention,
then, with utter and
undisguised cynicism,
goes full Bambi
(wrong species, but
it’s an eyes thing!).
Interesting, because
my dog does not wait
until she catches
my attention.
She is just always
staring at me. That’s
all she does. I can be
sitting down, watching
that George Michael
doc, and chuckling at
the Liam Gallagher bit,
when all of a sudden I
feel I’m being watched.
I look down, and she’s
As more women join the #MeToo
campaign, an American model has
blown the whistle on harassment in the
fashion industry, writes Mark Smith
Great tits
are just
twits
You don’t always
want to be the sceptic,
but the supposed
revelation that
common garden
birds — specifically
great tits — are
evolving extra-rapidly
to accommodate
human activity is,
for me anyway,
slightly suspect.
The birds, according
to the journal Science,
have developed extra
long beaks, over the
course of only three
decades, to pluck
peanuts from
wire-mesh feeders.
This is, allegedly,
an unprecedented
biological leap from
super-sophisticated
creatures who
know exactly how to
evolve to survive
alongside humans.
Oh yeah? Well, in
that case, where are
their bloody crash
helmets? Because
I’ve lost count of the
number of birds that
go smacking, full speed,
into our patio doors
on an almost daily
basis, like a bunch of
suicidal morons. That’s
hardly an evolutionary
masterstroke. And
sophisticated? My
great tits they are!
just lying there, staring
up at me. And I say:
“What do you want
from me? You’ve been
walked. You’ve had
food. What is this?
Single White Female?”
And still she stares.
Sometimes I crouch
down and give her a big
cuddle. Which, on
reflection, is probably
part of the problem.
H
ave we just witnessed
fashion’s Arab
Spring? Certainly,
something very
serious and
potentially
transformative filled
the American model
Cameron Russell’s Instagram feed
when she used fashion’s favourite
social medium to highlight the abuse
and sexual exploitation of vulnerable
young models.
Into the glossy slipstream of the
usual PR-pleasing posts, Russell
lobbed a slew of dispatches
showcasing a seamier side of an
industry that counts her among its
most bankable faces.
The opening shot is a screengrab
from a private conversation between
Russell and an unnamed fellow model,
posted with her permission. In it the
model describes how, at the age of 15,
she was sexually assaulted on a test
shoot by a male fashion photographer
who told her the resulting pictures
would look “more sensual”. The
model’s oblivious stepmother was
waiting in the next room. The yellow
“anguished face” emoji that ends her
account seems to speak volumes about
fashion’s lust for youth and the
potentially devastating consequences.
Russell, 30, then writes of her
experiences of “unwanted groping,
spanking, pinching, pressure for dates,
phone calls and texts of a sexual
nature, lack of appropriate changing
areas”, and of her conviction that this
is common for young women working
in fashion. “We are not talking about
one, five or even twenty men,” she
says. “We are talking about a culture
of exploitation and it must stop.”
Many models have since submitted
accounts of cruelty and manipulation.
They write of famous photographers
who have demanded oral sex or
masturbated in front of them, stylists
who use fittings as an excuse for
inappropriate touching and agents
who, rather than applauding their
charges for setting boundaries,
apologise profusely to clients if models
refuse to go nude on demand.
The thread of self-doubt that runs
through the posts is heartbreaking. “I
never realised until now that it’s not
normal to be groped at work,” writes
one model. Russell directed more than
70 such missives to her 85,000
followers, each with the hashtag
#myjobshouldnotincludeabuse.
Although she redacts the names of the
accused for legal reasons, she alludes
to “follow-up meetings” with her team
to explore ways to make “at least
some” of the names public. “There are
many Weinsteins in our industry; they
aren’t hard to spot. If you know one,
act now. Don’t wait for 30 years for a
New York Times exposé.”
The British model Edie Campbell
backs Russell’s campaign. “The
question of consent is a particularly
tricky one when it comes to fashion,”
she says. “When we go on set, we
enter into an unspoken contract:
for that day we give our bodies and
our faces over to the photographer,
stylist, hairdresser, make-up artist.
We give up ownership for that day.
The power imbalance is huge, and
the duty of care to that model is even
greater as a result.”
The Nineties supermodel Christy
Turlington Burns tells Women’s Wear
Daily that fashion is “surrounded by
predators who thrive on the constant
rejection and loneliness so many of
us have experienced at some point in
our careers. I feel fortunate that I did
not personally experience anything
traumatic, but also know that is not
the norm. I was lucky because my
mom was with me a lot early on and
then once I had some success I was
handled with extra care. We trusted
the people who were supposed to be
keeping an eye out for me. There
were many times I could not believe
who I was left under the care of on
There are many
Weinsteins in our
industry; they are
not hard to spot
early trips to Milan, Paris or London.
I would get off of a flight and find
some creepy playboy type there to
meet me.”
In February the veteran casting
director James Scully used Instagram
to call out two casting agents,
Maida Gregori Boina and Rami
Fernandes, after they allegedly left
150 models waiting in a darkened
corridor for three hours at a casting
for Balenciaga in Paris. Balenciaga
later cut all ties with the pair, but
Scully says that in the two hours
after his post he received almost
10,000 responses from models
telling him about abuse they had
experienced.
In May the Danish model
Ulrikke Hoyer used her Instagram
account to complain that she had
been sent home from Louis Vuitton’s
cruise show in Japan after being
called “too fat” and ordered to drink
only water for 24 hours.
Such episodes may sound Ugly Betty
and trivial compared with Russell’s
Weinstein-grade disclosures. Or beside
the longstanding rumours that have
swirled around Terry Richardson, the
American photographer who once said
of modelling: “It’s not who you know,
it’s who you blow. I don’t have a hole
in my jeans for nothing.” Richardson
has been accused of sexual assault
by several of his former subjects —
one claims that he asked if he could
make tea with her tampon — yet
the times | Monday October 23 2017
3
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times2
touch: the model fightback
The lowdown
Bathtime wine
GETTY IMAGES
Victoria’s Secret model Cameron Russell. Right: Nimue Smit
he continues to work in fashion
advertising and editorial (although
US Vogue said in 2014 that it had
“no plans to work with him in the
future”). In response to speculation
resulting from Russell’s posts, a
spokesman for Richardson said in
The Daily Telegraph: “You are basing
a story off of random comments on
Instagram and old stories that have
already been addressed. Terry is an
artist who is known for his sexually
explicit work and all of the subjects of
his work participated consensually.”
Scully told Vogue in February: “We
can’t treat these girls like they’re
disposable. Even the biggest girls feel
the pressure of there being a new girl
who could come and take their job if
they aren’t thin enough, if they don’t
do what they’re told. They’re treated
like things that can be traded and
no feelings.”
have n
The whistleblower, Russell, has
been m
modelling since 2003, but rose
to p
prominence in 2013 after
delivering
a TED talk criticising
de
the fashion industry for its lack
of diversity and attributing her
success to a “legacy of gender
and
a racial oppression”. An
excoriating departure from the
exc
reserved,
media-trained path that
re
eser
many of her fellow Victoria’s Secret
Angels tread, the talk has been viewed
online more than 20 million times.
Last year Russell co-founded Model
Mafia, a community of models hoping
to use their collective social media
clout to shed light on causes from
climate change to racial justice to
model welfare. The Dutch model
Nimue Smit joined after Russell
recruited her to deliver a speech
at a model forum in New York.
When I meet Smit, who has a degree
in public health, near her home
in Amsterdam, she describes
Model Mafia as “a group effort in
a global industry that isn’t unionised
and can seem quite fractured and
individualistic. The idea is to enhance
communication between models
for the benefit of everyone, to pass
down our learnings so that there’s
a collective memory.”
Smit, 25, considers herself “one of
the lucky ones”, having worked at the
top end of the industry for ten years.
“My first show was walking for
Prada, so I think I’ve always been
protected to a certain degree by
having a profile.”
Nevertheless, she recalls
an encounter when she was
16 with an agency boss who
surrounded himself with
young girls: “They’d be
literally hanging off his
neck. I just thought to
myself, ‘I need to stay
away from this person.’ ”
He has since been fired.
Others, she says, don’t
feel empowered to act
on their instincts.
“Whenever people want
something very badly
they’re automatically
vulnerable to scenarios
they might live to regret.”
She says that programmes
such as America’s Next
Top Model, in which young
women are subjected to ritual
humiliation, don’t help. “Those shows
crystallise the idea that you should do
whatever is asked of you, and that’s a
dangerous message to send to the
young.” She says that even in the
level-headed Netherlands social
media is propagating the idea that
approval is everything. “It drives me
crazy that my six-year-old cousin
aspires to be famous. When I was
a kid, nobody even talked
about modelling.”
Last week Smit helped to launch
Model’s Health Pledge, a project that
aims to safeguard vulnerable models
and prevent abuse. The first initiative
of its kind, the project challenges
magazines, modelling agencies, clients
and others to sign up to a code of
practice that includes reasonable
workload, responsible nutrition and
the avoidance of misconduct. Any
model working in the Netherlands
who believes the code is being violated
can use its website to make an
anonymous submission. Within five
days his or her case will be taken up by
an independent vertrouwenspersoon
(trustworthy person). In theory the
measures taken could range from
a discreet conversation with a
photographer’s agent to the public
revocation of the project’s kitemark.
French legislation, which requires
models to hold a doctor’s note stating
that they are not dangerously
underweight, has been criticised for
being patriarchal and simplistic, but it
is hoped that the new Dutch system
(motto: “without ethics, no aesthetics”)
will be more holistic. The model
Marvy Rieder, formerly a face for
Armani, sits on the pledge’s advisory
board and speaks of the importance
of considering “all the signs”
when evaluating welfare. “We
want the Model’s Health Pledge
to be a sophisticated, integrated
and transparent approach.”
The editor-in-chief of Vogue
Nederland, Karin Swerink, is also a
signatory. “It’s important that we have
a proper dialogue, a real conversation
with models without the direct
intervention of the government,”
she says. “I’m already used to having
a quiet word with an agent if a girl
is too thin or too tired. On a shoot
we’re a team and the older members
of the team have a responsibility
towards the younger ones.”
Swerink knows that the
Netherlands’ tall, blonde
models are in demand. “Dutch
models are everywhere, they
have a high degree of
influence and, by being
very clear about what’s
appropriate when they’re
doing their job, I think
they can help to raise the
bar for everyone.”
I ask Smit what
she says to her
fame-hungry
six-year-old cousin
about modelling.
“Honestly?”
she says, fixing me
with the blue-eyed
gaze that has
launched a thousand
handbags. “I tell her,
‘Be a dentist.’ ”
themodelshealthpledge.nl
Good morning. How can I help
you?
I’d like a gadget. What have you got?
Well, the avocado slicer that stops
you stabbing yourself is a bestseller.
Come again?
It’s for morons who can’t get the
stone out without injuring
themselves, but anyway. How
about a wine-glass holder to use
in the bath?
Isn’t that called a hand?
No, it’s called a SipCaddy. It’s a
plastic cup holder with a suction
pad. You stick it on the side of the
bath or on the tiles, and put your
wine glass in it.
There is too much here for me to
process. We’ll have to take it stage by
stage. First, they expect me to go into
a shop and say, out loud: “Please can
I have a SipCaddy?”
Yes.
Next, I’m going to attach it to the
bath wall, even though most baths
have perfectly good ledges round the
top, on which to position exactly
such a thing as a wine glass?
Yes.
And I’m going to pay money for this
redundant piece of plastic?
Yes: £8.91. A bargain for the peace
of mind that comes from knowing
your glass is safely suspended in
mid-air.
Almost exactly like a hand then?
What happens when the side of the
bath gets steamy? The suction pad
will gradually lose its grip and fall off.
Before you know it, you’ll be bathing
in wine.
That’s what Cleopatra did, and she
looked OK on it, didn’t she?
Milk, you cretin, milk, not wine. She
bathed in asses’ milk.
Whatever.
And when it falls off, have you
considered the shards of glass?
The manufacturer’s instructions
advise against using glassware.
So to recap, when I’m having a bath,
instead of using my hand to hold a
wine glass, I use a plastic gadget to
hold a plastic beaker?
Yes.
No. I’ll have a shower instead.
Hilary Rose
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2017 | the times
times2
From dictators to
Hollywood stars —
momentous letters
to the Thunderer
The Times letters editor Andrew Riley
on Great Letters, a book that compiles
a century of notable correspondence
A
pproached by a
friend who hoped
that a word from
the king in the right
ear would solve a
difficulty, George V
said: “My dear
fellow, I can’t help
you. You’d better write to The Times.”
A letter in “the Thunderer” can
indeed act as a catalyst for change.
Charles Dickens wrote a famous
letter to The Times on the sickening
drama of a public hanging in 1849;
Florence Nightingale set out her
vision of healthcare in a letter
published in 1876; and in their
footsteps have followed such names
as Arthur Conan Doyle, HG Wells,
Agatha Christie, Spike Milligan and
Helen Mirren (who was exercised
about digital piracy). Most of them
feature in The Times Great Letters,
a new collection of correspondence
that the newspaper has received.
The world has changed beyond
recognition since the first letter
published in The Daily Universal
Register (the earliest incarnation of
The Times) concluded that “every
one has his hobby-horse” on January
1, 1785. Yet the social and political
cachet of having a letter printed in
The Times remains undimmed. Yes,
it is a forum for the great and the
good — and the evil, in the case of
Benito Mussolini — to air matters
of international importance, but it
is also a space for erudite and witty
discussion of the newspaper’s value
as an insulation material.
The oddest letter received is
perhaps this one from Lieutenant
Colonel AD Wintle, on February 7,
1946. “Sir, I have just written you
a long letter. On reading it over,
I have thrown it into the waste
paper basket. Hoping this will meet
with your approval. I am, Sir, Your
obedient servant, Lt Col AD Wintle,
Cavalry Club, Piccadilly, W1.”
Preserved in our archives, Wintle’s
epistle demonstrates that brevity is
indeed the soul of wit. Although it was
not published at the time, like every
letter submitted it would have been
carefully considered. The competition
is tough, but do have a go. The
address is: letters@thetimes.co.uk
BERTIE WOOSTER’S CHIN
November 30, 1937
Sir, Your correspondent Mr John
Hayward is to a great extent right in
his statement that Bertie Wooster has
a receding chin. A fishlike face has
always been hereditary in the Wooster
family. Froissart, speaking of the Sieur
de Wooster who did so well in the
Crusades — his record of 11 Paynim
with 12 whacks of the battleaxe still
stands, I believe — mentions that, if
he had not had the forethought to
conceal himself behind a beard like
a burst horsehair sofa, more than one
of King Richard’s men — who, like
all of us, were fond of a good laugh —
would have offered him an ant’s egg.
On the other hand, everything is
relative. Compared with Sir Roderick
Glossop, Tuppy Glossop, old Pop
Stoker, Mr Blumenfeld, and even
Jeeves, Bertie is undoubtedly
opisthognathous. But go to the Drones
and observe him in the company of
Freddie Widgeon, Catsmeat PotterPirbright, and — particularly — of
Augustus Fink-Nottle, and his chin
will seem to stick out like the ram of
a battleship. Your obedient servant,
PG WODEHOUSE
WORLD SERVICE
July 1, 1981
Sir, At a moment when, thanks to the
failure of diplomacy, we are spending
£33.7 million a day (and rising) on
defence, and wondering whether we
are getting value, the Foreign Office
is aiming to save £3 million a year
by cutting BBC foreign language
broadcasts to three of the most
important unaligned countries of the
world: Burma, Somalia and Brazil. At
a saving of £10,000, which is a fraction
of the cost of keeping a very average
ambassador in the style to which he
is not accustomed, they are also
disconnecting Malta.
By what conceivable right? Are we
to believe it is not worth one tenth of
our daily defence expenditure to be
revered as the distributors of sober,
accurate and impartial news to
unaligned countries who are otherwise
without it? The BBC’s foreign language
broadcasts achieve something which
goes far beyond the capacity of any
foreign office. They enter the homes of
d of ordinary people. Really, it
thousands
is obscene to imagine that the Foreign
Office, whose emissaries have scant
contact, at best, with the ordinary
people of the countries to which they
are accredited, should presume to sit
in judgment over our most effective,
popular and trusted spokesman.
If Mrs Thatcher is looking to bring
reason to bureaucracy, let her do it
here, and sharply. Better to shed an
embassy or two, and slim a few
more, than sack our real
ambassadors. Yours faithfully,
JOHN LE CARRÉ
Above, from left:
Benito Mussolini; John
le Carré; Morrissey.
Below: Evelyn Waugh
FROSTPROOF PAPER
January 15, 1970
Sir, Have you ever considered
the insulation qualities of your
newspaper? I am filming A Day in
the Life of Ivan Denisovitch here in
Norway and I find The Times, well
crinkled and pushed into the sole of
a boot, can help keep out up to
40deg of frost. Yours faithfully,
ERIC THOMPSON
Thompson was an actor and the writer
and narrator of The Magic Roundabout
Replied on January 19, 1970
Sir, Eric Thompson claims a crinkled
copy of The Times inside his boot
resisted 40deg of frost. I have done
better. World War II, scene, winter
in Italy, conditions freezing, the
mail arrives, with it three copies of
The Times. After reading I removed
my battledress, then page by page
wrapped the three editions around my
body, before redonning my uniform.
From then on, for the next three
Tomorrow
More great
letters: Iris
Murdoch,
Montgomery
and Graham
Greene
weeks, I never felt the cold. We were
withdrawn from the line to do a refit.
I removed all the pages from around
my person, reassembled them and
they were still all readable. Yours &c.,
SPIKE MILLIGAN
PEAK PERFORMANCE
September 9, 2006
Sir, The first ascent of the Matterhorn
was made not by the Italian JeanAntoine Carrel (report, September
7), but by the Englishman Edward
Whymper on July 14, 1865. In his
book Scrambles in the Alps
Whymper talks of throwing stones
from the summit towards the
Italians below to ensure they knew
the summit had been conquered. The
British team did suffer a setback when
a rope broke and four members of the
team died, but that was on the way
down, not on the way up. Perhaps
your correspondent should remember
Whymper’s closing words in the final
chapter of his book: “Do nothing in
haste; look well to each step; and
from the beginning think what may
be the end.”
THERESA MAY, shadow leader of the
House of Commons
IL DUCE WRITES
June 26, 1925
Sir, I am very sensible of the fact that
your most important paper attentively
follows my political and polemical
manifestations. Allow me, however,
to rectify some statements contained
in your last editorial. It does not
correspond with facts that the last
Bills voted by the Italian Chamber are
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However, it is pleasant to think
that the captivity of Mary Queen of
Scots had at least one good effect:
unfortunate prejudice concerning
an aspect of the Scottish national
character was eradicated from the
mind of a prominent Englishman. It
all goes to show what an important
part the royal patronage of sport
(even if involuntary) can play in
the sphere of international relations.
Yours faithfully,
ANTONIA FRASER
MINING RHYMING
September 27, 1984
Sir, Not odd, said God, I’d have
you know
It may seem quite easy down below
To keep the Bishops all in tow
Just propping up the Thatcher show;
Up here, you see, there’s hell to pay —
She wants to tell ME what to say.
Yours faithfully,
MICHAEL FOOT
Michael Foot was a Labour MP in 1984.
His letter was in response to remarks
made
ma by the Bishop of Durham at his
enthronement
en
against the most elementary liberties,
whereof you will be convinced by
carefully considering the article
of the aforesaid laws. It is not true
that patriots are discontented. On
the contrary, the truth is that the
opposition is carried on by a small
dispossessed group, while the
enormous majority of the Italian
people works and lives quietly, as
foreigners sojourning in my country
may daily ascertain. Please note
also that Fascism counts 3,000,000
adherents, whereof 2,000,000 are
Syndicalist workmen and peasants,
these representing the politically
organised majority of the nation. Even
the Italian Opposition now recognizes
the great historical importance of the
Fascist experiment, which has to be
firmly continued in order not to fail
in its task of morally and materially
elevating the Italian people, and also
in the interest of European civilization.
Please accept my thanks and regards.
I am, &c.,
MUSSOLINI
The Times had criticised Il Duce’s
repression of the press and political
opposition. Himself a former journalist,
Benito Mussolini was keenly aware
of the influence of the media
FUR IS MURDER
August 2, 2010
Sir, I welcome Ann Widdecombe’s
views on the depravity of bear-baiting
in order to serve the vanities of the
British Army Guards (Opinion, July
30). In the humanised world, of
course, hats are not worth killing
for. Yes, animal rights move different
Above left: Helen
Mirren. Above right,
from top: Arthur Conan
Doyle; Antonia Fraser;
Agatha Christie
A fishlike
face has
always
been
hereditary
in the
Wooster
family
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people differently, and
d there are
even those who think that animals
simply have no right to be, but there
is no sanity in making life difficult
on purpose for the Canadian brown
bear, especially for Guards hats that
look absurd in the first place, and
which can easily be replaced by faux
versions (thanks to the visionary Stella
McCartney). It is difficult not to look
to the Queen herself — after all, they
are her Guards, and she must surely
be aware of the horrific process
utilised to supply real bearskins for
her Guards. The mere sight of each
bearskin hat must surely jab at the
Queen’s heart. Protection of animals
makes for a responsible life. The world
is speeding up, and in order to assist
humankind to advance we all strive
in many ways to be a better “we”. The
brain speculates, but the heart knows,
and there is no clever distinction in
trapping and skinning bears for petty
considerations based on vanity. Like
it or not, the Guards wearing real fur
reflects the human spirit at its lowest.
MORRISSEY
Morrissey was the lead singer of the
Smiths during the 1980s
FIRST FOOTER
May 28, 1971
Sir, Your correspondent Mr
Milner-Gulland is correct in thinking
Mary Queen of Scots whiled away
her captivity at Carlisle Castle in 1568
by watching a form of football match.
But it can hardly have been the first
of the England-Scotland international
matches, as he suggests, since it
appears that all the players were Scots.
The comment of Mary’s jailer Sir
Francis Knollys that there was “no-foul
play” was in fact prompted by his own
surprise that the Scots were capable
of playing themselves without it.
BODY
ARMOUR OR SHIELDS
B
July
J 28, 1916
Sir,
S it is a year now since you were
good enough to allow me to express
some views about body armour in
your columns. Since then, so far
as I know, nothing has been done,
but now we have got so far that
the Minister of War admits that
something of the kind may some
day come along. To me it seems the
most important question of any.
Upon July 1 several of our divisions
were stopped by machinegun fire.
Their losses were exceedingly heavy,
but hardly any of them from high
explosives. The distance to traverse
was only about 250 yards.
Now, Sir, I venture to say that if
three intelligent metalworkers were
put together in consultation they
would in a few days produce a shield
which would take the greater part of
those men safely across. A shield of
steel of 7/16 of an inch will stop a
point-blank bullet. Suppose such a
shield fashioned like that of a Roman
soldier, 2ft broad and 3ft deep.
Nothing elaborate is needed. Only
so many sheets of steel cut to size
and furnished with a double thong
for arm-grip. Shields are evidently
better than body armour, since they
can be turned in any direction.
Let the experiment be made of
arming a whole battalion — and,
above all, let it be done at once. Then
at last the attack will be on a level
with the defence. Yours faithfully,
ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE
The first tanks had been demonstrated
to the army command in secrecy five
months earlier. They first appeared
on the battlefield in September 1916
THE FUTURE OF WAR
November 6, 1919
Sir, By land and sea the approaching
prodigious aircraft development
knocks out the present Fleet, makes
invasion impracticable, cancels
our country being an island, and
transforms the atmosphere into the
battleground of the future. I say to
the Prime Minister there is only one
thing to do to the ostriches who are
spending these vast millions (“which
no man can number”) on what is as
useful for the next war as bows and
arrows! — “Sack the lot.” Yours,
FISHER
Admiral of the Fleet Lord Fisher
CLEOPATRA AS THE DARK LADY
February 3, 1973
Sir, I have read with great interest
the article written by Dr AL Rowse
and published by you on January 29,
on his discovery of the identity of
Shakespeare’s Dark Lady of the
Sonnets. She has always had a peculiar
fascination for me, particularly in
connection with Shakespeare’s Antony
and Cleopatra.
Dr Rowse has shown in his article
that Emilia Bassano, the Dark Lady,
described by one of her lovers as an
incuba — an evil spirit — became
the mistress of the elderly Lord
Chamberlain, the first Lord Hunsdon
who had control of the Burbage
Players. Presumably she abandoned
the gifted playwright for a rich and
power-wielding admirer. In his mind
Shakespeare kept that memory until
the day that he wrote, with enjoyment
and a pleasurable feeling of revenge,
the first words of Antony and
Cleopatra. Shakespeare was probably
not a good actor, though one feels that
is what he originally wanted to be. All
his works show a passion for the stage
and for comparisons with actors. How
odd is it that a first disappointment in
his ambition forced him to a second
choice — the writing of plays — and
so gave to England a great poet and
a great genius. Let us admit that his
Dark Lady, his incuba, played her part
in his career. Who but she taught him
suffering and all the different aspects
of jealousy, including the “green-eyed
monster”? Yours faithfully,
AGATHA CHRISTIE
AL Rowse’s identification of Bassano as
the inspiration for many of the Bard’s
sonnets has since been doubted
LAURIE LEE REMEMBERED
May 22, 1997
Sir, Your obituary of Laurie Lee told
the bitter-sweet tale of Laurie going
unrecognised in his own village of
Slad — “Excuse us, could you tell us
where Laurie Lee is buried?” There
was however one occasion on which
he was recognised. As Laurie told us
himself at the Chelsea Arts Club one
evening: “As I was walking down to
the village pub I was approached by
a little girl of about 9 or 10 who asked
me if I were Laurie Lee. I said that I
was, whereupon she said: ‘Were it you
what wrote that poem teacher made
us learn by ’eart?’ I said with modest
pride: ‘Yes, I expect so.’ The girl, taking
careful and deliberate aim, then kicked
me ferociously on both shins before
running off as fast as her little legs
could carry her.” Yours sincerely,
CHRISTOPHER J McMANUS
INDEXES
October 16, 1961
Sir, You say in your leading article
today, “No one has ever suggested
that novels should have indexes.”
I possess a translation of Tolstoy’s
Resurrection, published by Messrs
Grosset and Dunlap of New York
and “illustrated from the photoplay
produced by Inspiration Pictures Inc”,
which has a particularly felicitous
index. The first entry is: “Adultery, 13,
53, 68, 70”; the last is “Why do people
punish? 358.” Between them occurs
such items as: Cannibalism, Dogs,
Good breeding, Justification of one’s
position, Seduction, Smoking, Spies,
and Vegetarianism. I am, Sir, your
obedient servant,
EVELYN WAUGH
For reasons of space some of the
letters have had to be abridged
6
1GT
Monday October 23 2017 | the times
life
Ask Professor Tanya Byron
I want to walk away from my
elderly mother who abuses me
N
My mother has always
been difficult, but
lately she has got
worse and I believe
may have a personality
disorder. She is in her
eighties and was recently in hospital
after she broke her hip. She has since
turned against me. I clean her flat,
wash her, do the shopping, laundry
and cooking. She doesn’t have
dementia and can walk, but refuses
to go out or have carers.
She has always been selfish and
has never shown any affection to me
or my sister. She would deprive us
of material things such as warm
clothes, and punish us by hitting
us and locking us in a cupboard.
To the outside world we were the
poor, humble family, but it was
nothing to do with money. We had
enough — Mum just wouldn’t spend
any. We always covered for her
strange behaviour. She never
socialised or had any friends.
Now she shouts and swears at me.
Nothing I do is right. My sister has
had enough and will not visit any
more. I look after my granddaughter,
who has health issues, three days and
one night a week, which is a joy. I
don’t think I can face caring for
Mum much longer.
I feel desperately sad, but I would
like to walk away.
Kerry
Q
N
You are clearly
conflicted since you
feel a responsibility
towards your elderly
mother, but you are
exhausted by the
abuse. While it’s natural for you
u to
want to care for her, the challenge
nge you
face is how to do that without being
damaged by her criticism and abuse.
buse.
You suggest that your motherr may
have a personality disorder. We all
have histories that affect how we
behave, but to be labelled as having
ving
a personality disorder makes many
any
people feel as if they are being written
off. It is important that compassion
sion
and understanding are given to those
who struggle in relation to others
ers
(see bit.ly/2zCQXfA).
While it is not unusual to be
hostile to those we are closest to,
o,
you describe long-term abuse that
hat
is worsening as your mother ages.
es.
Being elderly and frail does not
mean that she has the right to
viciously abuse you.
I am curious why she has
been so hostile to you and your
sister for so much of her life.
Her history may provide clues.
Perhaps she struggles with her
mental health; perhaps she
shows narcissistic personality
traits that have led her to focus
only on her needs. She may now
w
be struggling with age-related
cognitive issues that make life
confusing for her.
It can be argued that just
as our parents absorbed our
childhood tears and tantrums, so
A
Try to
detach
from the
things that
she says
we should support them as their
behaviour becomes more challenging.
However, you describe a childhood
where your needs were not met in a
loving way. I suspect your childhood
was marked by fear and unhappiness.
This duty of care is challenging
for you, not only because you hold
unresolved and painful memories,
but also because you find yourself
still abused by her. I can understand
why, as your sister has done, you want
to walk away. While that may seem
brutal, I can’t see how remaining as
her carer will lead anywhere other
than to exhaustion and despair. It will
compromise your quality of life and
relationships with others you love.
Before you take this perhaps
necessary step, you may want to try
to detach yourself emotionally from
what she says and set clear boundaries
when her behaviour becomes
unmanageable and unacceptable.
“Detaching with love” is a method
that has been developed for the
families of addicts. It describes loving
someone, but not liking what they do
and so not allowing their behaviour
to drag loved ones down. You need
to set boundaries to protect yourself
from toxic behaviour by understanding
your mother for who she is. You must
recognise the inevitability of her
behaviour, not absorb it personally
and, most importantly, know your
own emotional limits. You must be
clear with yourself and your mother
that when that emotional line is
crossed you will walk away.
The more you remain in an abusive
situation, the more you are enabling
her to continue the behaviour. By
sticking to your boundaries she may
she has to regulate
learn that sh
emotionally or lose your support.
Your mother
may at the outset
mot
against your boundaries as she
push agains
tries to gain control. You may feel
guilty at the times when you do walk
indicate that you
away; that would
w
support for yourself. If such
need suppo
support were
wer through a counsellor or
therapist, then
th it would also give you
to process the
the opportunity
o
effects of your early years of
effec
abuse and neglect, including
abus
the need to be well-behaved
and to cover for your
an
mother’s behaviour — and
m
the need for her approval.
th
Talk to your GP about
ccounselling or see
iitsgoodtotalk.org.uk. I also
ssuggest that you discuss
the challenges with your
mother’s social worker
m
sso that care provision can
be put in place to give you
b
respite, and so that mental
re
health professionals
he
can cconsider whether her
behaviour is age-related decline
behavi
put appropriate support in
and pu
place. I wish you well and urge
look after yourself.
you to lo
If you have
hav a problem and
would like Professor Tanya Byron’s
help, email proftanyabyron@
thetimes.co.uk
thetimes.co
My wife’s grief
When photographer Rebecca Vassie
died suddenly at 30, no one could have
predicted the impact on her family,
says her brother-in-law Adam Barnard
E
arly one morning in
March 2015 I woke to
the sound of my
partner’s voice, just
beyond the bedroom
door. “Tell me,” Kelly
was saying. “Tell me.”
I found her on the
landing, phone pressed to her ear. I
watched her listen. And I watched the
woman I love, who for the past seven
years had interwoven her life with
mine, not so much lean as melt into
the wall. She said two more words,
quietly and with absolute horror: “Oh
no.” And a name: “Beccy.”
Some people might flail and scream
on learning of the sudden death of
their sister, aged 30, in a remote part
of a far-off country. But Kelly is a
calm, balanced person. What I
witnessed in that moment was not an
explosion of sound and movement, but
a draining away, a terrible leaching of
music and colour and light.
We did not yet know it, but we
would spend the next two years, and
more, searching for a way out of the
shadows. To us she was Beccy —
warm, sparky and adventurous.
Professionally she was Rebecca
Vassie, photographer. Three years
previously she had moved to
Uganda to pursue a career as an
international photojournalist.
Her rise had been striking. In
London she had struggled to progress
beyond assisting other photographers.
For a while she slept on our sofa and
contemplated a career change. Now
she was covering political protests, the
rise of female entrepreneurs and the
influx of refugees from war-torn South
Sudan. Her work appeared in
newspapers around the world. When
Kelly and I visited her in the summer
of 2012, six months after she had
moved, she steered us through
Uganda’s frenetic capital, Kampala, as
if she had lived there all her life.
She also worked for charities, taking
pictures to document relief
programmes. It was on such an
assignment, in a refugee camp in the
far west of Uganda, that a strange and
awful combination of circumstances
took Beccy’s life.
It took us weeks to understand what
had happened. We were reliant on
testimony from witnesses we had
never met and a British doctor’s
analysis of the crude, typewritten post
mortem we finally received from the
mortuary in Kampala. Beccy had
suffered an overwhelming asthma
attack, exacerbated by a recent chest
infection, in a place where emergency
healthcare is profoundly limited.
Her asthma was a known, lifelong
condition, as it is for more than five
million British people, and hundreds
of millions worldwide. Uganda’s dry,
dusty soil and polluted cities didn’t
help, so Beccy travelled with
medication and equipment. But her
inhaler wasn’t strong enough, and the
electric generators in the camp were
too weak to power her nebuliser, the
machine she carried in case of a
serious attack. Medics at the camp
tried to help, but lacked facilities. She
was rushed back to Kampala, five
hours’ drive away; she didn’t survive
the journey.
Just days earlier Beccy had emailed
us her first attempts at a striking new
project: portraits of transgender
Ugandan men who risk imprisonment
and persecution, their faces concealed
by masks on to which were projected
women’s features. With it, a list of
questions. How was the light? What
about the angle of the faces?
And now she was gone. Death is a
hideous one-way switch. Half-dressed
and dazed, Kelly and I clung to each
other, trying to wrap our heads round
a reordered universe.
We considered flying to Uganda, but
neither Kelly nor her immediate
family could face the journey.
“Besides,” Kelly said, “it’s too late to
save her.” So we flew to Spain, where
There’s no
manual for grief,
I kept thinking.
But I needed one
Kelly and Beccy’s parents were
spending the winter. It was almost
dark when we arrived. Janet, their
mother, had covered every surface of
the house with candles. I recognised
the shock-fuelled urge to do
something — anything. Flames
flickered in the evening breeze as we
held each other and wept.
The days that followed were brutal.
I felt two kinds of anguish: the aching
loss of a friend and de facto sister-inlaw, and the raw, festering wound of
watching people I loved grapple with
greater losses — of a sister, a daughter.
Fresh waves of grief — lurching sobs
that shook your body and left you
gasping for breath — seemed to rise
out of nowhere.
Catherine Byaruhanga, a BBC
correspondent and one of Beccy’s
closest friends, rang almost hourly to
ask, tenderly, the most wretched of
questions. What did we want to do
with Beccy’s clothes? Her furniture?
Her cameras and memory cards and
laptop and phone? And the dreadful
question lurking beneath the others:
what to do with her body?
Oh, the grim bureaucracy of death.
We wanted a woodland burial in the
south of England, where Beccy grew
up and most of her family live. But a
body has to be embalmed before a
commercial airline will accept it for
repatriation, and you can’t bury an
embalmed body in natural woodland.
the times | Monday October 23 2017
7
1GT
times2
for her sister changed our lives
MURRAY BALLARD FOR THE TIMES; CRAIG RADCLIFFE
The Foreign Office seemed able
to do little more than point us to
information we already knew.
None of us, still, could face travelling
to Uganda, but Beccy’s friends there
needed a focus for their grief. So we
decided that she would be cremated in
Uganda, then her ashes returned to
Britain for a second service and burial.
Sitting in Spain, knowing what was
happening 3,500 miles away, was
almost unbearable. We did the only
thing we could think of: poured gin
and tonics, Beccy’s favourite drink,
and raised glasses to the sky as tears
streamed down our faces.
Back in London, Kelly and I led
the funeral planning. It became an
obsession. Long since engaged, we had
assumed that when we finally planned
a large, family-centred event, it would
involve persuading Beccy to be our
wedding photographer. And now here
we were agonising over her funeral —
the first song and the last, who would
speak when, choosing the decor and
the catering.
The funeral was beautiful, with
dozens of Beccy’s photographs
hanging from silver helium balloons
and a mass singalong of Lean On Me
by Bill Withers. But the image of
Kelly’s father — a strong, proud man
who served in the navy — lowering a
box containing his daughter’s ashes
into the ground will never leave me.
Then, slowly, life resumed. Or at
least it was supposed to. There’s no
manual for grief, I kept thinking.
And I needed one. So, it seemed,
did everyone else. Some people
bowled us over with heartfelt
messages and impromptu check-ins.
Others were — forgivably —
uncertain, wary of mentioning death,
or Beccy’s name, as if the mere words
would send us into meltdown.
Some told us that the best thing to
do was to get on with life. Others told
us to concentrate on recovery. Some
said this was the moment to make sure
we were living the life we really
wanted. Others warned us not to make
changes for at least a year. They were
all right, and they were all wrong, and
we ignored them all anyway.
Before Beccy’s death Kelly had
been the steadying influence in our
relationship. I was more erratic, prone
to bouts of melancholy or insomnia.
Now it was Kelly who couldn’t sleep.
When she did sleep, she’d dream —
awful, horror-film dreams of Beccy.
Our relationship had flipped: Kelly
needed mine to be the steady hand.
I tried to return to normal, which
meant immersing myself in work.
Under commission to write a play, I
ploughed on, not seeing that the piece
was turning bleaker and bleaker, to the
point where no one would stage it.
Kelly, meanwhile, took
compassionate leave from her
university. She spent days at home,
Adam Barnard with
his wife Kelly and baby
Audrey. Above right:
Rebecca Vassie
Beccy was
denied her
life just as
she was
making
sense of it
To donate or buy
a print of Rebecca
Vassie’s work, go to
rebeccavassietrust.org
wrapped in blankets on the sofa that
Beccy once slept on. Her opiate was
vintage box sets; she watched six
seasons of Sex and the City and ten
seasons of Friends. Two fairytale
worlds from our youth, where
everything could be fixed with
a cocktail or a coffee.
She felt herself sinking into
depression. So — still the practical,
balance-seeking Kelly — she saw
her doctor, who referred her to the
NHS mental-health programme.
Some weeks later she received a
phone call and was asked a list of
questions. At the end she was told
that her symptoms were “in keeping
with typical grief” and that
bereavement counselling was only
effective a year after the death. Would
she get in touch then?
Instead we rented a storage locker
and set about dismantling the home
we had built up over the previous six
years, stripping our flat back to bare
walls and floors. Eventually we
reduced our life to a couple of
backpacks — just as Beccy had done,
although the parallel escaped us.
We hadn’t settled on a destination,
having instead a fuzzy vision of an
uncomplicated existence in an
affordable part of Europe. With days
to go before we were due to leave our
home, we sat staring at a map.
Croatia? Slovakia? On a whim we
chose Budapest and rented a cheap
flat on spec.
Being abroad was an effective
distraction. We spent our days
working in Budapest’s imposing
national library and our nights sipping
beer in the “ruin bars” inside the city’s
abandoned buildings. When autumn
rolled in we moved again, with as little
forethought, to Lisbon.
However, we began to miss our
friends. So we booked flights back to
London, briefly noting that we no
longer had a home there. Wondering
whether country living might
h be
b the
th
answer, we rented a dilapidated former
vicarage in Somerset whose roof
leaked. There, we planted chard and
potatoes, took long walks to country
pubs and finally began to think about
the future.
The idea of a charity took hold.
Reflecting on Beccy’s journey as a
photographer — her struggle for a
career foothold in her twenties, the
risks she had taken in Uganda to
pursue her dreams — we set up the
Rebecca Vassie Trust. Within months
we had awarded our first memorial
award to James Arthur Allen, a
passionate young photographer who
used our bursary to travel to Israel and
document the little-known ethnic
Circassian population. In December
we’ll exhibit his work at the
Tabernacle gallery in west London
and announce the winner of our
second award.
Kelly and I left the draughty
Somerset house and set up a new
home in Hove, East Sussex. On the
day we moved in Kelly was five weeks
pregnant. In January we finally got
married. In April my wife gave birth
to our daughter, Audrey. We kept the
gender of our baby secret during the
pregnancy, but no one in Kelly’s family
bothered to conceal their preference.
Not to replace Beccy, but perhaps to
redress the balance.
Kelly still flinches if the phone
rings late at night, fearing bad news.
We are still angry at the universe for
denying Beccy life just as she seemed
to be making sense of it — and for
depriving Audrey of an aunt who
would have doted on her and
photographed her beautifully. Yet
through the charity we have managed
to wrest something positive from
something awful, and our baby has
melted at least two hearts at risk of
nihilistic deep-freeze. We are finally
emerging from the shadows.
8
1GT
Monday October 23 2017 | the times
arts
‘Most theatre people
would love to do films.
They’re gagging for it’
One of our greatest stage actors, Simon Russell Beale has just played his biggest
screen role, as Stalin’s spy chief. He’s hoping it won’t be his last, he tells Ed Potton
‘I
have played some pretty
malevolent characters in my
time,” says Simon Russell
Beale. Hasn’t he just. There
was his Richard III for the
RSC (1992), his Iago in
Othello at the National (1997)
and his Macbeth at the
Almeida (2005), nuanced studies in
evil that helped to build his reputation
as perhaps the greatest stage actor of
his generation. Yet the 56-year-old
may just have created his most
loathsome baddie yet, and it’s in
a big-screen comedy.
The Death of Stalin, Armando
Iannucci’s chilling and hilarious farce
about the jostling for power in the
Politburo after Uncle Joe’s demise in
1953, has an excellent, startlingly
diverse cast: Steve Buscemi, Michael
Palin, Jeffrey Tambor, Andrea
Riseborough, Rupert Friend, Jason
Isaacs, Paul Whitehouse. Russell
Beale, however, eclipses them all as
Lavrentiy Beria, the head of the Soviet
secret police, whom Stalin introduced
as “our Himmler”. Torture, murder,
rape, paedophilia — Beria was
arguably the most horrible figure in
the postwar Kremlin, and that’s saying
something.
“He’s not a very comic character,”
says Russell Beale, clutching a cushion
to his chest on a sofa in a hotel in
central London. “I found the scenes
in which he tortured people a bit . . .”
He makes a face.
No, at first glance Beria isn’t a
bundle of laughs, but Russell Beale is
an actor whose stage CV, including
Much Ado About Nothing and King
Arthur in Spamalot, shows him to be
as adept at comedy as he is at villainy.
He finds humour in Beria just as
Peter Capaldi found it in the ostensibly
terrifying Malcolm Tucker in
Iannucci’s TV series The Thick of It.
Not in terms of baroque profanity, but
It was a time of
lists — if your
name was on one,
it was the gulag
or firing squad
he lurks like Tucker, and there are
deep, grim laughs in the way he instils
fear in others: underlings, guards, even
(perhaps especially) his rivals for the
top job. The real Beria, Russell Beale
says, “liked looking in people’s eyes
and seeing them terrified”.
In the film he’s a dead ringer for the
real Beria: his head is shaved and he’s
kitted out in full Soviet regalia. (“The
hat pulled down and the big coat and
the pince-nez — so difficult to control,
the pince-nez.”) When Iannucci
showed him a photograph of Beria, he
was delighted at the resemblance.
Today, Russell Beale is a cannonball
of charm in black baseball jacket, black
T-shirt and jeans, his silver hair
cropped short. He’s fine company,
deploying an impressive repertoire of
self-effacement, stage whispers,
conspiratorial puffs on his e-cigarette
and nonchalant name-drops, referring
to “Ralph” (Fiennes), “Mark”
(Rylance), “Sam” (Mendes) and, of
course, “Armando”. A question about
his relationship status is met with a
grin. “Yes I’m currently single — and
yes I’m homosexual.”
Movie junkets are a novelty for
Russell Beale. “I haven’t done this
before,” he says, looking around the
suite. “It’s a very strange procedure.”
This is his biggest screen role, isn’t it?
“It’s about my only screen role!” That’s
an exaggeration: he has had parts in
Into the Woods, My Week With Marilyn
and more. Nothing as meaty as this,
though, which is finally a film triumph
to rank with his stage and television
ones (two Oliviers, two Baftas).
Fear is at the centre of The Death of
Stalin. “They’re all so f***ing
frightened,” Russell Beale says. This
was a time of lists: if your name was on
one, you’d get a knock on the door in
the middle of the night, then the gulag
if you were lucky, the firing squad if
you weren’t.”
Yet, as the boom in Soviet-era joke
books demonstrated, there is plenty
of scope for gallows humour in all of
this. Beria is the rotten heart of a
squirmingly funny ensemble piece
that’s given comedic distance by the
non-Russian accents (pure New York
for Buscemi’s Khrushchev, bullish
Yorkshire for Isaacs’s General Zhukov
and Russell Beale’s own middle-class
English for Beria) and an anarchic twist
by Iannucci’s yen for improvisation.
To a creature of text such as Russell
Beale, improv was terrifying. Iannucci
“laughed at me because I learnt the
whole script”, he says — pointless
because it would go through so many
iterations between writing and
shooting. “I rather panicked, but by
the time we got to the scenes I had
about seven versions in my head. It at
least gives you options.”
The Americans, Buscemi and
Tambor, were “absolutely superb on
the improvisations”, he says. “What
they do is locate something small, like
the hardness of a chair or the shit
coffee. Whereas I would be thinking, ‘I
don’t know anything about the 1953
Soviet transport system.’ ” To make
matters worse Iannucci is “quite strict;
he knows what he thinks is funny”.
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the times | Monday October 23 2017
9
1GT
arts
CHRIS MCANDREW FOR THE TIMES; NICOLA DOVE
Left: Simon Russell
Beale and, above,
as Lavrentiy Beria in
the Death of Stalin.
Top: with other cast
members of the film
The actor has history with Stalin,
having played him on stage in
Collaborators in 2011. There’s a
contrast, he thinks, with his
Shakespearean villains. “Iago is stupid.
Stalin and Beria I think are genuinely
clever. All they wanted was power —
no yachts. I don’t think Richard III is
like that; he wants power because of
all the jewellery.”
Enterttinment
In the film Beria is the first man to
see Stalin’s body and there is a brilliant
scene where he is alone with it for
several minutes, the fate of a vast
nation in his hands. He wastes no time
in unlocking Stalin’s desk and
disposing of some incriminating
papers. Having learnt his trade on the
stage, where props need to be
accounted for, Russell Beale obsessed
%
over which pocket Beria would put the
key in. “Armando said, ‘It’s not the
theatre, you don’t have to worry about
where you put the f***ing key.’ ”
Has such freedom whetted his
appetite for more? Does he cast
envious glances at Rylance, his
main challenger for the title of
world’s greatest stage actor, who
has become Steven Spielberg’s go-to
guy? “Oh, I’d love to do more. I’m
not desperate for it, but I’d love to
follow Mark.” A pause. “I need to
learn a bit more.”
Russell Beale is big on learning: he
still takes piano lessons and recently
taught himself ancient Greek. He was
born in Malaysia, where his father was
an army doctor, and after boarding
school at Clifton College in Bristol he
was set to be a doctor like his parents,
three of his siblings (and now three
nephews and nieces). Instead he took
a first-class degree in English at
Cambridge. Music also looms large in
his life: as a boy he was a chorister at
St Paul’s, he has presented a BBC Four
documentary series, Sacred Music, and
he is due to play JS Bach in a play by
Nina Raine.
Riseborough, who plays Stalin’s
daughter, Svetlana, in The Death of
Stalin, has said that her main memory
of the shoot is of Russell Beale
listening to classical music. “The
reason I was doing that is Armando
has said he doesn’t like Mozart. And I
said, ‘I’m going to spend this shoot
listening entirely to Mozart because I
am sort of with you. I know he’s a
genius, but I always preferred to listen
to Beethoven or Schubert.’ ” What was
the conclusion? “We are wrong. Don
Giovanni is a masterpiece.”
Pop music he’s less hot on. When
he’s in make-up for his present job,
playing Becky Sharp’s father in a
forthcoming ITV production of Vanity
Fair, “every morning we have some
music that I don’t understand”. In true
Russell Beale style, he has resolved to
do something about that, persuading
his make-up artist to teach him about
hip-hop and R&B. “There’s so much in
the world that we don’t understand.
You just think, ‘Come on, I’m going to
be dead soon.’ ”
Perhaps with an eye on his screen
career, he recently bought a heap of
film books and watched a string of
classics at home in London, including
The Godfather (“fantastic”) and Fanny
and Alexander (“a miracle”). So there’s
no longer a snobbishness about film in
the theatre world? “Noooo. Most
theatre people would love to work in
film. They’re all gagging for it. People
used to get knighthoods if they were
stage actors, but not if they were
screen actors, but that’s disappeared,
thank God, and there’s a great deal of
respect for people who can do both,
like Sam [Mendes].”
He has another movie out next year,
Museo, a Mexican heist flick in which
he co-stars with Gael García Bernal.
“He’s complete heaven! Gorgeous.
Quite small, but he has that magical
thing on film where his face just goes
ping! Was is that? Miranda Richardson
has it, and I’ve seen Emily Mortimer
do it. Anyway, he was gorgeous and
I had a lovely week filming in John
Wayne’s house in Acapulco. My
dressing room was in the house,
with three sides of glass looking
out on to the Pacific.”
The movie-star life, you feel, might
suit him rather well.
The Death of Stalin is out now
Theatres
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10
1GT
Monday October 23 2017 | the times
television & radio
Kit brooded but the support cast blew me away
ROBERT VIGLASKI/BBC
Gabriel
Tate
TV review
Gunpowder
BBC One
{{{{(
Jacqueline du Pré
BBC Four
{{(((
K
it Harington may have been
the presumptive star of
Gunpowder, but really this
classy reimagining of the
1605 plot was about giving
some of our finest character actors
the platform to do their thing. Here
was Derek Riddell camping it up as
James Stuart. There was Peter Mullan,
authoritative and calm as a Catholic
priest. And, above all, Mark Gatiss,
louche, oily and given a splendid regal
brush-off (“my cankered beagle”) as
the spymaster Robert Cecil.
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Living with the Gods
Radio 4, 9.45am
The figure, we learn, is about
30cm high. “He stands
upright . . . his hips are
narrow.” It’s like hearing the
first chords of a well-known
hit on a stadium tour.
For this is the eminently
recognisable opening riff
of a Neil MacGregor
broadcast. We got 100
such openings in his A
History of the World in 100
Objects, more in Germany:
Memories of a Nation,
and he’s back again. This
time MacGregor turns his
attention to religion. The
series opens with the Lion
Man, a 40,000-year-old
ivory figure found in a cave
in Germany. Its blood-licked
lips speak of a world at the
dawn of religion.
Silence
Radio 3, 10.45pm
Nothing like a radio
programme entitled Silence
to make you realise that
you’re in for something
relaxing. And this, the first
in a five-part “slow radio”
series, doesn’t disappoint.
It promises to allow the
listener to “appreciate
life at a monk’s pace”. For
the first 90 seconds there
is just the sound of a pigeon.
Then a bell. A gate opening.
Then some chanting. A
few more birds. Splendid.
Elsewhere, Kevin Eldon’s inquisitor
went toe-to-toe with upstanding Liv
Tyler in a cherishable juxtaposition.
Small wonder the erstwhile Jon Snow,
brooding as only he can, to the extent
that I speculated whether he can only
brood, was eclipsed as the chief
conspirator Robert Catesby.
Not that this was a romp. A chill
descended from the opening scene. Sir
William Wade (Shaun Dooley, another
reliable pro) interrupted a secret mass
to search for Jesuits, rapping the wall
panelling with his knuckles like a
Jacobean Gestapo agent (only nowhere
near as camp as that sounds). This
threat was real, the stakes sky-high.
Coming after the March attack on
Westminster, Gunpowder left us to
draw our own parallels as draconian
anti-terror laws intensified opposition
and violent response. And, lest all
this felt a little one-sided and Catesby
a little kindly portrayed for many
historians’ liking, there were hints
of brewing brutality and the chance
for Harington to show his range.
Like Taboo, its forerunner in
primetime Saturday night blood
and guts, Gunpowder was blokey and
gruesome in places, but also well cast,
adeptly paced and coherently plotted.
I’m ready for fireworks.
Jacqueline du Pré: A Gift Beyond
Words began with a gripe from
a director making his sixth film
featuring the prodigiously talented
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.33am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg James
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James 7.00
MistaJam 9.00 Radio 1’s Specialist Chart
with Phil Taggart 10.02 Huw Stephens
1.00am Friction 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Fearne Cotton
12.00 Vanessa Feltz 2.00pm Steve Wright
5.00 Simon Mayo. Philip Pullman on the His
Dark Materials follow-up The Book of Dust:
La Belle Sauvage 7.00 The Blues Show
with Paul Jones. A selection of music from
the blues scene, featuring the best of the
new releases as well as classic tracks from
the archives 8.00 Jo Whiley. A mix of new
music and classic album tracks, with guests
dropping in to the studio to chat 10.00
Something Old, Something New, Something
Borrowed, Something Blue 11.00 Jools
Holland. The entertainer is joined in
performance by the Nevada-born Americana
singer Sunny Ozell, and Nashville stars Sarah
Zimmerman and Justin Davis — AKA Striking
Matches 12.00 Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of
the 70s (r) 2.00am Radio 2’s Jazz Playlists
3.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Great British
Songbook 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Hidden
Treasures 5.00 Penny Smith
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents a wide range of
music to begin the day — and a few surprises
9.00 Essential Classics
Rob Cowan explores potential companion
pieces for Bernstein’s Prelude, Fugue and
Riffs, and Patricia Routledge reveals the
cultural influences that have shaped
and inspired her
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Bellini (1801-1835)
Donald Macleod introduces some of the
Italian opera composer Vincenzo Bellini’s
early works, including a song written at the
age of 12, and an extract from his first opera.
Bellini (Ad Arturo onore; A te, O Cara — I
Puritani; La Farfalletta; Salve Regina in A;
Dolente imagine di fille mia; Oboe Concerto;
Romanza — Dopa l’oscuro nembo — Adelson
e Salvini; and Qual cor tradisti? Deh! Non
volerli vittime — Norma) (r)
Kit Harington and Edward Holcroft as the plotters in Gunpowder
1.00pm News
1.02 Live Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
A recital from London’s Wigmore Hall in
which Trio Jean Paul perform pieces by
Haydn and Brahms. The three-piece, named
after Robert Schumann’s favourite author,
has remained unchanged in membership for
over two decades and performs Theodor
Kirchner’s arrangement of Brahms’s String
Sextet in G for piano trio, together with a
work by Haydn that is subtle and shifting in
mood. Haydn (Piano Trio in F sharp minor,
HXV:26); and Brahms (String Sextet in G,
Op 36 — arr. Theodor Fürchtegott Kirchner)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Jonathan Swain presents the first of a week
of performances by the BBC Symphony
Orchestra, with today’s programme including
a concert given last month on tour in Bonn.
Beethoven (Overture Leonore No 2); Berg,
rev. Jarman (Violin Concerto); Schumann
(Symphony No 2 in C, Op.61); Bernstein
(Chichester Psalms); Rachmaninov (Piano
Concerto No 2 in C minor, Op 18); and
Gershwin (An American in Paris)
5.00 In Tune
A lively mix of chat, arts news and live
performance, with the Furrow Collective
dropping by to perform in the studio during
their UK tour. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An imaginative, eclectic mix of music,
featuring favourites together with
lesser-known gems, with a few surprises
thrown in for good measure
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
James Feddeck conducts the Royal Liverpool
Philharmonic Orchestra in a performance of
Holst’s The Planets, as well as pieces by
Bernstein and Aaron Jay Kernis. Bernstein
(On the Waterfront — Suite); Aaron Jay
Kernis (Legacy — for solo horn, harp,
percussion and strings — UK premiere);
and Holst (The Planets — Suite, Op 32)
10.00 Music Matters
An interview with the composer
Julian Anderson (r)
10.45 Meditations from a Monastery
The first of five slow soundscapes
based on themes from the monastic life at
Downside, Belmont and Pluscarden abbeys,
beginning with the subject of silence.
See Radio Choice
11.00 Jazz Now
Soweto Kinch presents another chance to
hear a concert first broadcast in February
from Sun of Goldfinger at London’s Vortex,
with guitarist David Torn, saxophonist Tim
Berne and drummer Ches Smith
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
With Justin Webb and Sarah Montague
9.00 Start the Week
With Neil MacGregor, Jennifer Sliwka,
Dan Jones and Caspar Henderson
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Living with the Gods
Neil MacGregor examines the role and
expression of shared beliefs.
See Radio Choice (1/30)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Presented by Jane Garvey. Including at 10.45
the 15 Minute Drama: Part one of the second
series of Hattie Naylor’s How to Survive the
Roman Empire, by Pliny and Me
11.00 Wired Love
Lucy Hawking explores the impact of the
telegraph on women
11.30 Susan Calman:
Keep Calman Carry On
John Finnemore takes Susan on a
spontaneous holiday to help her unwind.
Here the comic describes whether it had
the desired effect (3/4) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Four Thought
Jay Owens on why dust is more interesting
than people tend to think (1/4) (r)
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Book of the Week: Daemon Voices
Philip Pullman examines the art and nature
of storytelling, beginning by revealing how
his days at Oxford provided inspiration for
the setting of His Dark Materials (1/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Fat Little Thing
By Lucy Gannon. A lonely young girl seeks
the company of famous imaginary friends as
she deals with a bereavement (1/2) (r)
3.00 Quote: Unquote
With Simon Brett, Vanessa Feltz, Michele
Hanson and Henry Normal (4/6)
3.30 The Food Programme
Sheila Dillon discusses family meals (r)
4.00 Hull 2017: The City Speaks
Laura Elsworthy examines the responses to
interactive artwork in Hull (1/3)
4.30 The Digital Human
The potential impact of advances in
technology on the human character (4/6)
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
cellist. “Her story is so unusual, her
gift so unexplainable . . . The world had
to invent its own myths and then, as
the years went by, to embellish them.”
Christopher Nupen then proffered
the authorised version of du Pré’s
life, first attempted in 1994’s
Remembering Jacqueline du Pré, as if
these reappraisals had never taken
place. “A creature beyond words.”
“Loveable in every way.” “I don’t
think she knew how to lie.”
This onslaught of obsequiousness
from admirers started to work against
its subject. No one likes a hatchet job,
but this canonisation was a similar
disservice. When du Pré’s husband,
Daniel Barenboim, claimed that “she
was not jealous”, one might have
expected some acknowledgement of
his affair a few years before her death
at 42 from multiple sclerosis. But this
would have unbalanced Nupen’s
embellished myth, so it was omitted.
Anyone familiar with Hilary and
Jackie, the 1998 film that alleged du
Pré’s depression and affair with her
sister’s husband, might have wondered
if examining the other side wouldn’t
have been prurient, but necessary.
On the other hand, there was
Nupen’s footage of the cellist at her
peak: testament to her effervescent
talent. Yet, ultimately, A Gift Beyond
Words spent a long time saying very
little. Nobody’s perfect, but for Nupen,
du Pré might as well have been.
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 The Unbelievable Truth
Lloyd Langford, Henning Wehn, Ellie Taylor
and John Finnemore talk with deliberate
inaccuracy on subjects including boxing,
snails, bras and parents (4/6)
7.00 The Archers
Shula’s suspicions are aroused and
Emma gets her mojo back
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 Living with the Gods
Neil MacGregor examines the role and
expression of shared beliefs (1/30) (r)
8.00 Political Violence in America
Inside the world of the anti-fascists
known as “antifa”
8.30 Analysis
The deterioration of the Houses of
Parliament (4/8)
9.00 Natural Histories
How the venerable, ancient turtle has
influenced human culture (r)
9.30 Start the Week
With Neil MacGregor, Jennifer Sliwka,
Dan Jones and Caspar Henderson (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
Round-up of the day’s news
10.45 Book at Bedtime: The Book of
Dust, Part One — La Belle Sauvage
By Philip Pullman (1/10) (r)
11.00 Word of Mouth
Michael Rosen talks to Steve Jones about
language and our genes (6/7) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
The start of the week’s business in
Westminster
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
Daemon Voices (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Hello Cheeky 8.30 Dad’s Army 9.00
Just a Minute 9.30 Tomorrow, Today! 10.00
Alexander 11.00 Scottish Shorts 11.15
When Last I Saw You 12.00 Hello Cheeky
12.30pm Dad’s Army 1.00 Sherlock Holmes
with Carleton Hobbs 1.30 Nature 2.00 Jane
Eyre 2.15 In Pursuit of the Ridiculous 2.30
The True Story of Bonnie Parker 2.45 Patrick
Leigh Fermor: An Adventure 3.00 Alexander
4.00 Just a Minute 4.30 Tomorrow, Today!
5.00 Millport 5.30 The Unbelievable Truth
6.00 Undone 6.30 A Good Read 7.00 Hello
Cheeky. Comedy with Tim Brooke-Taylor
7.30 Dad’s Army. Comedy with Arthur Lowe
8.00 Sherlock Holmes with Carleton Hobbs.
By Arthur Conan Doyle 8.30 Nature. The
centenary of the British Birds journal 9.00
Scottish Shorts. By Kirstin Innes 9.15 When
Last I Saw You. Psychological thriller by
Peter Whalley 10.00 Comedy Club: The
Unbelievable Truth. With Lloyd Langford,
Henning Wehn, Ellie Taylor and John
Finnemore 10.30 Steven Appleby’s
Normal Life. Comedy with Paul McCrink
10.45 Earls of the Court. Johnno is homesick
11.00 The News Quiz Extra. Extended
edition of the comedy panel show 11.45
Paperback Hell. Literary spoof by Danny
Robins and Dan Tetsell (r)
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Adrian Chiles 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live
Sport: The Monday Night Club. Mark
Chapman presents the football debate
9.00 5 Live Sport: The Cricket Show.
Cricket discussion, debate and news updates,
with former England player Michael Vaughan
and guests 10.00 Flintoff, Savage and the
Ping Pong Guy 10.30 Phil Williams
1.00am Up All Night 5.00 Reports
5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Joey Barton 10.00 Jim White
1.00pm Hawksbee and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian
Durham and Darren Gough 7.00
Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar 1.00am Extra
Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Tom
Ravenscroft 1.00pm Stuart Maconie
4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley
9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Lauren Laverne
1.00am Island Rock 2.00 A Beginner’s
Guide to the Blues 2.30 6 Music Live Hour
3.30 6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Jon Hillcock
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast
9.00 John Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie
Minhall 5.00 Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth
Classics 8.00 The Full Works Concert 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Monday October 23 2017
11
1GT
JANE HOBSON
artsfirst night
Pop
The Big Moon
Koko, NW1
Dance
Trois Grandes Fugues
Sadler’s Wells
T
S
{{{{(
o judge by the energy,
abandon and sheer
confidence of the Big Moon
at Koko, rock’n’roll belongs
to women. There have been
countless think pieces over the past
few years on the death of bands and
rock stars; how, more than 50 years on
from Mick Jagger strutting about to
Satisfaction, the cliché of the satyric
singer fronting a gang of ne’er-dowells with guitars is exhausted. When
the four young women in the Big
Moon did it, however, it became fresh
again.
The leader Juliette Jackson raised a
guitar over her head, duck-walked
across the stage, traded licks with the
bassist Celia Archer and guitarist Soph
Nathan and generally acted with an
overinflated sense of self-worth, as
rock stars have done for years.
Emboldened by the success of their
2017 Mercury prize-nominated debut
Love in the 4th Dimension, the band
even turned a cover of Bonnie Tyler’s
Total Eclipse of the Heart into a
hands-in-the-air singalong, the kind of
thing you could imagine Oasis doing
two decades earlier.
There was no great reinvention. The
Big Moon played tuneful, shouty indie
pop of the type Elastica and Sleeper
pioneered in the 1990s, with Jackson’s
upbeat songs written at a time when
she was falling in love. They also have
a sly wit. Asking a boy to stay the
night on Pull the Other One, she added:
“I’d like to let you stay the day, but my
schedule’s very tight.”
Occasionally things quietened down;
The End was a semi-reflective ballad
on meeting the love of your life when
you thought you would be free and
single for a bit longer. Yet in the main
the band offered a straightforward
pleasure: songs for jumping around
and singing along to while spilling
beer on your shoes. Young men have
been doing that for decades. Now it’s
the Big Moon’s turn.
Will Hodgkinson
Theatre
Of Kith and Kin
Bush Theatre, W12
{{(((
F
or his third play, the social
worker-turned-playwright
Chris Thompson puts a neat
spin on the tired “awkward
birthday/dinner party”. Here
we have the awkward baby shower.
Dan and Oliver are having a baby, via
Priya, their surrogate mother. The
trio’s pleasant evening of vodka and
Just Dance is derailed by Dan’s mother,
Lydia, who arrives with baby-grows
and barely concealed homophobia.
The first act could hardly be more
fertile. Even before Lydia pitches up
with her kitbag of gripes, we can sense
delicious tensions. Thompson displays
a masterful touch with exposition: the
debate about who’ll be “dad” and
who’ll be “daddy”; Oli’s aside about
giving up his office for the baby’s
nursery; Priya’s history with surrogacy
— little, subtle seeds planted. Even
the wrecking ball that is Lydia does
not detract from this finely woven
{{{{{
David McVicar’s staging
is unusually entertaining
Impeccably well dressed
This Scottish
Opera revival
is a visual feast
if not quite a
musical one,
says Richard
Morrison
Opera
La traviata
Theatre Royal
Glasgow
{{{((
C
atching up on recent
reviews, I see that one of
my predecessors, clearly a
sensitive soul, described
the 1856 London premiere
of La traviata as “hideous and
abominable”. What got the poor chap
steaming from all orifices was not
Verdi’s sublime music, but something
very unusual at that time: the
sympathetic depiction of a prostitute.
So I wish he could have seen David
McVicar’s classic production, revived
by Scottish Opera, and especially
Tanya McCallin’s sumptuous designs.
Far from being hideous, death by
tuberculosis can rarely have been
more elegantly framed.
True, you have to accept McVicar’s
ghoulish concept of staging the opera
on Violetta’s tombstone, surreally
enlarged. On top of that, however, the
salons of Paris are evoked in furls of
velvet curtains, frosted screens,
candle-lit tables piled high with food,
saucy can-can dancers (one, inevitably,
transvestite) and a mêlée of bumptious
boulevardiers behaving badly. The
result is that this usually weepy
tragedy is, for most of its three hours,
quite cheery and entertaining.
So much for the visual pleasures, but
Traviata needs fine singing too — and
in that department this latest revival is
web of trust, half-truths and promises.
Alas, the second act is a misstep.
While there is decent shock value in
blindsiding us with a courtroom battle,
the scene is unconvincing and
frustrating. Thompson elects,
maddeningly, to present us with a
quirky, straight-talking judge; although
she is nothing compared with the
downright comic oddity that is Priya’s
solicitor. Worst of all, the scene leaves
this solid production’s two most
compelling performers — Joshua
Silver as Oli and Chetna Pandya as
Priya — in virtual silence. Priya’s lack
of motive for taking custody of the
child is infuriating, not enigmatic,
robbing the scene of all reason.
While the final act is witty and
perceptive (albeit tonally all over the
place) the damage has been done. An
insightful, occasionally hilarious battle
between the two men — Dan, 46,
battle-scarred from the gay scene of the
1980s; Oli, 32, blasé about his rights —
is sabotaged by the fact that it feels
almost beside the point. Thompson, like
some of his characters, forgets that
there’s a child at the centre of all this.
Chris Bennion
Box office: 020 8743 5050, to Nov 25
Theatre
Parliament
Square
Royal Exchange,
Manchester
{{{((
much less appealing. I will go further.
My memory doesn’t quite stretch back
to 1856, but I can’t recall a more
disappointing Violetta than the
Russian soprano Gulnara Shafigullina.
I only hope that she was recovering
from some lurgy, because if this coarse
timbre is her normal voice the people
doing the casting for Scottish Opera
need ear tests.
Violetta needs to float her lines
delicately, not stab effortfully, or
swoop through half an octave of
microtones on her way to something
like the specified pitch. Punters would
be well advised to plump for the
performances sung by the alternative
Violetta, the rising Armenian soprano
Anush Hovhannisyan.
By comparison the Alfredo, Peter
Gijsbertsen, is well-schooled but
anodyne. And I do wonder, in such an
impeccably period production, if he
should be wearing boxer shorts in bed.
Stephen Gadd is much more
characterful as a brusque, brutal
Germont, and in smaller parts Laura
Zigmantaite and Catherine Backhouse
also impress. However, with the
Scottish Opera violins sounding far
from unanimous under David Parry’s
direction, it’s the spirited chorus that
mostly supplies the musical thrills.
Box office: 0844 8717647, to Dec 2
T
he world is going to hell.
What do you do? Join a
political party? March?
Mount a Twitter campaign?
Start an online petition?
For Kat, those options seem futile,
so she settles on a horrific form of
protest: she will self-immolate in
Parliament Square. Armed with petrol
and a lighter, she sets off to London,
leaving behind her mum, husband and
two-year-old daughter. She spurs
herself on with grandiose delusions:
she’s going to alter the course of
history; she’ll always be remembered.
What she naively imagines to be
an altruistic act of self-sacrifice is
life-changing, all right — but not
remotely in the way she’d envisioned.
James Fritz’s play won a judges’
award in the 2015 Bruntwood
playwriting competition, and in a
sparse, slick production by Jude
Christian, it has stylistic swagger and a
wired intensity. It’s also maddeningly
muddled. There’s passion here, but
without purpose and direction it just
fizzes and zips about haphazardly, like
a lit firework in a box.
The motives and aim of Esther
Smith’s febrile Kat are vague — there’s
ometimes the simplest idea is
the best. Take the Lyon Opera
Ballet programme that came to
Sadler’s Wells as part of this
year’s Dance Umbrella. Here
a trio of choreographers — Lucinda
Childs, Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker
and Maguy Marin — responded to the
same piece of music, Beethoven’s Die
Grosse Fuge, Op 133. Their three pieces
shared nothing but music, yet seen
back to back they amounted to a
dazzling display of dance at its most
inventive and transporting.
Beethoven’s string quartet was first
performed in 1826 when the composer
was in poor health and virtually deaf
(he died months later). It’s a difficult
piece, with knotted complexities,
contradictory tonalities and a wild
disposition. Yet each choreographer
mines something different in it.
For the American Lucinda Childs,
who created Grande Fugue for Lyon
last year (using a score transcribed
for string orchestra) it’s a chance to
impose order amid chaos. Using six
couples, her elegantly balletic
choreography is as sharply defined as
cut glass yet almost romantic in its
rapturous embrace of formalist
mathematical structures.
In De Keersmaeker’s Die Grosse
Fuge (1992) we have six men and two
women in dark suits. The Belgian
responds to the music’s emotional
colouring and inherent drama. Her
choreography is raw and anarchic,
visceral, sorrowful and sexualised,
the dancers running, leaping and
eventually falling into the void.
In Marin’s Grosse Fugue (2001) four
women in red embody the frustration
and despair of looking death in the
face. This is choreography reflecting
Beethoven’s anger and infirmity, with
the dancers desperately struggling to
survive even as they find themselves
on an inexorable road to exhaustion.
Reckless and exhilarating, it capped an
unforgettable evening.
Debra Craine
no call for a particular change, no
mention of any specific political issue.
When her suicide is thwarted by a
passing stranger, the young Londoner
Catherine, she wakes up in hospital,
faced with rebuilding her life among a
family she has betrayed.
Yet Fritz’s fractured dialogue doesn’t
fully engage with that trauma either.
Instead, there’s some blurry existential
musing, prompted by Kat’s chats with
her mum and her encounters with a
Christian physiotherapist who finds
meaning in her faith. There’s also a
smattering of ideas about our hunger
to leave our mark in the fast-moving
digital age; neither Kat nor her saviour
Catherine makes headline news and
their disappointment is streaked with
egotism.
Catherine seems to be an alter ego
of sorts, and conversations often take
place inside Kat’s head — perhaps the
entire drama does. It’s anyone’s guess.
Yet if the play sometimes makes you
want to scream, it’s because it’s close
to achieving its unnerving promise. No
blaze of glory, but certainly a spark.
Sam Marlowe
Box office: 0161 833 9833, to Oct 28;
Bush, London W12, Nov 30-Jan 6
12
1GT
Monday October 23 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Chris Bennion
My Week as
a Muslim
Channel 4, 9pm
Katie from
Winsford
in Cheshire
doesn’t really
trust Muslims. “Why
do they live like that?”
she asks. “This is our
country.” It is Saima’s
in Manchester made up
as a Pakistani Muslim
named Hawla. This is
a big ask for Katie,
who has never even
eaten Asian food and
flinches at the sight of
a mosque, as if catching
a glimpse of a spider in
the shower. What could
have been a predictable
“Oh, they’re just like
us after all” narrative is
given serious backbone
when, on the eve of
Katie’s week as an
undercover Muslim,
the city is rocked
by the Manchester
Arena bombing. It’s an
enlightening week for
Katie — her eyes bulge
as Saima’s son leads
the family in prayer,
but the real learning
experience is when
Katie, as Hawla, goes
home and walks past
her local pub. “It
sickens me,” she says.
Autumnwatch
2017
BBC Two, 8pm
As surely as the
leaves turn brown,
Springwatch turns
to Autumnwatch and
our sensibly dressed
presenters return to the
Sherborne Park Estate
in the Cotswolds. As
well as catching up
with the barn owl and
kestrel families we met
in the spring, the team
are hoping to catch a
glimpse of rutting deers
and the ever elusive
badger. A special
infrared underwater
rig has also been set
up to capture footage
of migrating trout,
along with crayfish,
lamprey and otters.
I am looking forward
to the new Swan v
Goose feature. Who
will come out on top?
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain. Whether new
technology could be the key to beating identity theft (r)
10.00 Homes Under the Hammer. Including properties in
Surrey and Cumbria (r) 11.00 A Matter of Life and Debt.
A former nurse who launched a dog spa (AD) 11.45
Caught Red Handed. A shop manager forced to fight off a
burglar much stronger than himself (r) (AD) 12.15pm
Bargain Hunt. Charlie Ross presents from an antiques fair
at Newmarket’s racecourse (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One;
Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45
Doctors. Ruhma discusses her financial independence
with Mrs Tembe (AD) 2.15 Impossible. Game show
hosted by Rick Edwards 3.00 Escape to the Country.
Jonnie Irwin helps a couple search for a property in
Dorset (r) (AD) 3.45 Money for Nothing. Sarah Moore
salvages three more items from a recycling centre
4.30 Antiques Road Trip. Charles Hanson and Catherine
Southon compete in the challenge (r) 5.15 Pointless.
Quiz show in which contestants try to score the fewest
points possible by giving the least obvious correct
answers to questions 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Real Lives Reunited (r) 6.30 Money for Nothing
(r) 7.15 A Matter of Life and Debt (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign
Zone: The Big Family Cooking Showdown (r) (AD, SL)
9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live
12.00 Daily Politics 1.00pm The Code (r) 1.45
Restoration Home. Caroline Quentin meets Simon Kelsey,
who is renovating a Victorian town house that had been
converted into flats and left to decline in one of the most
deprived areas of Hull (r) (AD) 2.45 Family Finders. Three
half-sisters who have found one another after years apart
3.15 Full Steam Ahead. How the combination of increased
leisure time and affordable rail transport brought a new
kind of freedom for working-class Victorians. Last in the
series (r) (AD) 4.15 Sea Cities. Life in and around
Britain’s ports and rivers, beginning in Plymouth, where a
local entrepreneur juggles fishing, boat trips and a cafe
during a busy summer (r) 5.15 Flog It! Charlie Ross and
Christina Trevanion evaluate antiques at the Fleet Air
Arm Museum, situated on the Navy’s largest aviation
base, HMS Heron in Somerset (r) 6.00 Eggheads. Quiz
show (r) 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two.
Zoe Ball chats to the fourth couple to be voted out
6.00am Good Morning Britain. Dermot O’Leary chats
about the latest series of The X Factor 8.30 Lorraine.
Presented by Christine Lampard 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 10.30 This Morning. Amanda Holden and Ben
Shephard present chat and lifestyle features, including a
look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and a
recipe in the kitchen. Including Local Weather 12.30pm
Loose Women 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Dickinson’s
Real Deal. David and the team are in Milton Keynes,
Buckinhghamshire, where Henry Nicholls is dazzled by an
art deco ring, a quirky whisky dispenser attracts Helen
Gardiner’s attention, and one seller’s unusual walking
stick does very well at auction (r) 3.00 Alphabetical. Quiz
in which contestants answer questions based around
letters of the alphabet. Hosted by Jeff Stelling 4.00
Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed
quiz show in which contestants drop tokens down a choice
of four chutes in the hope of winning a £10,000 jackpot
5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents as contestants
answer general knowledge questions and work as a team
to take on a ruthless quiz genius and secure a cash prize
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.20am The King of Queens (r) 7.40 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) 9.05 Frasier (r) (AD) 10.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (r) 11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm Come Dine
with Me. Four east Londoners hope their menus will win
them the prize money (r) 1.05 A New Life in the Sun.
Two Brits start a B&B business in France (r) 2.10
Countdown. Nick Hewer and Rachel Riley present the
long-running words-and-numbers game 3.00 Find It, Fix
It, Flog It. Max McMurdo and Henry Cole try to make a
profit from church organ pipes 4.00 My Kitchen Rules.
Yee Kwan and Natalie are challenged to cook a dish
featuring rabbit 5.00 Four in a Bed. The competition kicks
off at the White Hart Hotel in Harrogate 5.30 Steph and
Dom’s One Star to Five Star. The Parkers head to the
Elnor Guest House in Liskeard, Cornwall 6.00 The
Simpsons. Marge joins a women’s group, but soon
discovers her fellow members plan to steal $1million
from Mr Burns (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Glenn hosts
Courtney’s baby shower but it descends into chaos, Diane
plans to get Luke and Mandy back together, and Milo tries
to sabotage Dirk and Cindy’s relationship (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Journalist
and broadcaster Matthew Wright is joined by a panel of
guests and the studio audience to debate the issues of
the day 11.15 Can’t Pay? We’ll Take It Away. The agents
chase £4,500 owed to a shipping company by a car parts
dealer in Lancashire, and in east London, the officers try
to collect over £2,000 owed to a housing association (r)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Gadget Show.
Craig Charles assesses the most affordable drone ever
from the world’s biggest drone company, which possesses
obstacle avoidance technology that normally costs twice
the price (r) 1.15 Home and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours
(AD) 2.15 NCIS. Ziva confronts her past when the team is
ordered to protect her father, Mossad director Eli David,
at a gathering of former heads of NCIS (r) (AD) 3.15
FILM: Dangerous Lessons (15, TVM, 2016) A
high-school teacher gets romantically involved with one
of her students — who begins to stalk her and her family.
Thriller starring Louise Lombard 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30
Neighbours. Tyler organises a birthday brunch for Piper
(r) (AD) 6.00 Home and Away. Scarlett gets herself into
a dangerous predicament (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
7.00 The One Show Magazine show
hosted by Alex Jones and Ore Oduba
7.00 Grenfell Tower: Life and Death on
the 21st Floor The events of the
night of June 14 (AD)
7.00 Emmerdale Moira struggles to cope
with looking after the baby, and lashes
out at Faith for interfering (AD)
7.30 Inside Out Regional documentary
7.30 University Challenge
Merton College, Oxford, takes on
King’s College London
7.30 Coronation Street Faye confronts
Seb with her suspicions, and
Phelan comes face to face with
an old adversary (AD)
8.00 EastEnders Max manipulates Carmel
into helping him get some inside
information from the council (AD)
8.00 Countrywise: Guide to Britain
Ben Fogle attends the Ennerdale Show
in the Lake District (r)
8.30 Life at 100 There are around 14,500
centenarians in the UK and that
number is predicted to double every
ten years. Joan Bakewell presents this
Panorama special following seven
people who have reached 100 years or
more, looking at their lives, needs and
expectations. See Viewing Guide
8.00 Autumnwatch 2017
New series. Chris Packham, Michaela
Strachan, Martin Hughes-Games and
Gillian Burke return to showcase the
season’s wildlife from their base at
Sherborne Park in Gloucestershire.
See Viewing Guide (1/4)
9.00 Elizabeth I’s Secret Agents
New series. Documentary examining
the network of spymasters and
secret agents that helped protect
Elizabeth I from assassination, terror
and treason for more than 40 years.
See Viewing Guide (1/3) (AD)
7PM
Early
BBC One
8PM
else. So Channel 4,
ever keen to provide
headline-grabbing
narrative arcs, sends
Katie undercover.
Donning a hijab,
traditional Muslim
dress and some rather
outrageous prosthetics
(she ends up looking
like a character from
the comedy show
Bo’ Selecta!), Katie
spends a week in
Saima’s community
9PM
Top
pick
country too. Although
born and bred in
Manchester, Saima,
who has Pakistani
heritage, has suffered
abuse all her life.
“We’re not aliens.
We don’t have horns
sticking out of our
heads.” Katie, however,
is at least willing to
learn, aware that her
attitude is born from
a lack of understanding
more than anything
Late
11PM
10PM
9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Agnes tries to
make friends with Dermot’s
mother-in-law Hillary (6/6) (r)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 MotoGP Highlights The Australian
Grand Prix. Action from the feature
race at the 16th round of the
season, held at Phillip Island Grand
Prix Circuit in Victoria
8.30 Coronation Street Faye witnesses
Seb’s domestic troubles first-hand, and
Aidan sinks to his lowest ebb (AD)
8.00 Who Deserves a Pay Rise?:
Channel 4 Dispatches
The effects of pay freezes and caps on
public sector employees
8.30 Tricks of the Restaurant Trade
Simon Rimmer makes a discovery
about fish and chips (2/6) (AD)
8.00 All New Traffic Cops North
Yorkshire’s road crime team chases a
gang stealing 4x4s from industrial
estates every night, while West
Yorkshire traffic cops pursue stolen
vehicles across Bradford
9.00 Piers Morgan’s Life Stories
New series. The chat show returns,
with the actress Kim Cattrall revealing
why she turned down starring in a
second sequel to the Sex and the City
film franchise, and she talks candidly
about her three marriages (1/4)
9.00 My Week as a Muslim Make-up
and prosthetic artists transform a
white woman’s appearance to make it
look like she is of Pakistani origin so
she can spend a week living in
Manchester’s Muslim community.
See Viewing Guide
9.00 Paddington Station 24/7
Sunday’s services grind to a halt
when the 11.57 service to Penzance
derails as it is departing, while a
knife-carrying passenger causes
concern in Bristol (7/8)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 W1A The deal to keep Claudia
Winkleman at the BBC hits a snag.
Last in the series (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.45 Have I Got a Bit More News for
You Martin Clunes hosts an
extended edition of the satirical quiz,
with Jon Richardson and Kirsty Wark
joining team captains Ian Hislop
and Paul Merton to poke fun
at the week’s news (3/10)
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Evan Davis
10.30 Regional News
10.45 The Best FIFA Football Awards
2017 Highlights of the ceremony
hosted by Idris Elba at the London
Palladium, honouring the players who
have shone over the past 12 months in
categories including Best Male Player
11.30 The Graham Norton Show The
former US Secretary of State and
Democrat presidential candidate Hillary
Clinton takes a seat on Graham’s sofa,
along with the actors Jeff Goldblum,
Gerard Butler and Jack Whitehall (r)
12.25am-6.00 BBC News
11.15 Chris Packham: Asperger’s and Me
The naturalist and broadcaster offers a
personal and brutally honest account of
his life coping with Asperger’s
Syndrome, reflecting on the
devastating struggles of his
adolescence (r) (AD)
12.15am Lucy Worsley’s Nights at the Opera The
history of some of the world’s greatest operas (r) (AD)
1.15 Sign Zone: Countryfile. Ellie Harrison visits an
estate that was devastated in the 1987 hurricane (r) (SL)
2.10-3.10 The Human Body: Secrets of Your Life
Revealed. The initial spark of life (r) (AD, SL)
11.50 Gordon Ramsay on Cocaine
Documentary (1/2) (r)
12.40am Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to
participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of
their sofas 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show. The host invites
guests to air their differences over family and
relationship issues (r) (SL) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
10.00 First Dates A laboratory engineer
attempts to keep his nerves under
control when he meets a lingerie
designer, while a firefighter
hopes a rugby player will sweep
her off her feet (AD)
10.00 Hunted and Confronted: Cowboys,
Crooks and Chancers Paul Connolly
investigates the negligent sales pitch
of a funeral plan agent and goes
undercover on a market stall to see
if consumers can be fooled by the
right marketing spin (2/4)
11.05 Celebrity Hunted All seven famous
faces remain at large, but it is a
scramble for survival for Steph and
Dom, who believe the hunters are
closing in after information is elicited
from their manager (2/4) (r) (AD)
11.05 Tears of the Sun (15, 2003) A
veteran lieutenant is sent to rescue a
doctor from crisis-torn Nigeria, but
ends up trying to save the lives of
refugees. Action drama starring Bruce
Willis and Monica Bellucci
12.15am How’d You Get So Rich? Katherine Ryan
meets a woman who creates luxury creams from bee
venom (r) (AD) 1.00 The Supervet (r) (AD) 1.50 FILM:
The Dirty Picture (15, 2011) Biographical drama
starring Vidya Balan 4.15 Grand Designs Australia (r)
(AD) 5.10 Draw It! (r) 5.35-6.20 Countdown (r)
1.05am SuperCasino Viewers get the chance to take
part in live interactive gaming 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors. A patient is concerned her neck-down paralysis
may be returning (r) (AD) 4.00 Criminals: Caught on
Camera (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine
Designs (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Monday October 23 2017
13
1GT
television & radio
Life at 100
BBC One, 8.30pm
Fancy living to 100?
One in three babies
born in the UK today
is likely to live long
enough to receive
a telegram from the
monarch (possibly
from a 104-year-old
King George VII), so it
is something that will
soon be unremarkable.
Joan Bakewell, a mere
stripling at 84, presents
this Panorama special,
which focuses on seven
British centenarians
to find out what life is
like when you hit three
figures. The programme
also looks into how our
society will be able to
cope with a rapidly
ageing population —
the 14,500 centenarians
in the UK will double
in ten years. And
keep growing.
Elizabeth I’s
Secret Agents
BBC Two, 9pm
If you are enjoying
Robert Cecil and his
invisible-ink antics
in Gunpowder, this
three-part series on
Elizabeth I’s secret
service provides
a nice companion
piece. The first episode
concentrates on how
Cecil’s father, William,
set up the world’s
first spy network, with
his tendrils reaching
into every part of
society by the 1570s,
including Britain’s
Catholic community.
Cecil Sr is portrayed
as part George Smiley,
part Malcolm Tucker
as he uses his network
of whispers — and
terror — to crush any
threat to Elizabeth’s
life and throne.
A Year in an
English Garden:
Flicker & Pulse
BBC Four, 9pm
If you’ve always
thought that Gardeners’
World isn’t recherché
enough for your tastes,
try this mesmerising
film showing —
via real-time and
time-lapse footage —
a year in the life of a
beautiful old walled
garden in Sussex.
Straddling the fine line
between comically
boring and wonderfully
calming, the film shows
the rhythms and rituals
of the garden as day
turns to night, and as
spring turns to summer.
How much you enjoy
it will depend on your
appetite for lingering
shots of cobwebbed
sheds and rusty shears.
The effect is hypnotic.
Sport Choice
Sky Sports Action, 6pm
The Swiss Indoors
tournament in Basle is
Roger Federer’s home
event. The Swiss player
has reached 12 finals
in Basle including
ten consecutive finals
between 2006 and 2015,
taking home seven
titles. He’ll be back this
year, alongside Rafael
Nadal and Marin Cilic.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Flash (r) 7.00 Modern Family (r)
8.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r) (AD) 9.00 The Dog
Whisperer (r) (AD) 10.00 David Attenborough’s
Conquest of the Skies (r) (AD) 11.00 Modern
Family (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 1.00pm
Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
4.00 The Simpsons. Four shows (r)
6.00 Futurama. The city is threatened (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 Supergirl. National City comes under attack
from a thief with psychic powers
9.00 A League of Their Own.
With guests Anthony Joshua, Rob Beckett
and Roisin Conaty (r) (AD)
10.00 The Simpsons. Double bill (r)
11.00 A League of Their Own. With Rob Beckett,
Denise Lewis and James DeGale (r) (AD)
12.00 Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r) (AD)
1.00am The Force: Essex (r) (AD) 2.00 Road
Wars. Combating vehicle crime (r) 3.00 Brit
Cops: Law & Disorder (r) (AD) 4.00 Stop, Search,
Seize (r) (AD) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r) (AD)
6.00am Fish Town (r) 7.00 Richard E Grant’s
Hotel Secrets (r) (AD) 8.00 The British (r) (AD)
9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 FILM: Dinosaur
13 (PG, 2014) The true story of one of
history’s greatest dinosaur discoveries (r) (AD)
1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00 House (r)
6.00 House. Medical drama (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
A woman is killed by a stalker (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Danny’s ex-partner is
accused of planting evidence to wrap up a
homicide case (r) (AD)
9.00 The Trip to Spain (r)
9.35 The Trip to Spain (r) (AD)
10.10 Curb Your Enthusiasm
10.50 Louis CK: Oh My God. The American
comedian performs at the Celebrity Theatre
in Phoenix, Arizona (r)
12.05am Real Time with Bill Maher (r) 1.15
Vice Principals (r) 1.50 The Deuce (r) 3.00
Californication (r) 4.10 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese: A
Year to Save My Life USA (r) 8.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r)
11.00 Highway Patrol (r) (AD) 12.00 Road
Wars (r) 1.00pm UK Border Force (r) 2.00
Nothing to Declare (r) 4.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (r) 5.00 Criminal Minds (r)
6.00 Criminal Minds (r)
7.00 Sun, Sea and A&E. An 18-year-old has
his jaw wired shut (r)
8.00 Children’s Hospital (7/12) (r)
8.30 Children’s Hospital (8/12) (r)
9.00 Criminal Minds. The team’s new case
involves three old cases
10.00 Ed Gein: The World’s Most Evil Killers.
A profile of “the Butcher of Plainfield”, Ed Gein
11.00 Law & Order True Crime: The Menendez
Murders. Drama about the 1996 US murder case
12.00 Stalker (r) 1.00am Criminal Minds (r)
2.00 Cold Case. The murder of a young rapper (r)
3.00 Scandal (r) (AD) 4.00 UK Border Force (r)
(AD) 5.00 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.00am Daniel Barenboim Plays Mozart 6.30
Celtic Woman: Emerald 8.00 Auction (AD) 8.30
Watercolour Challenge 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 10.00 My Shakespeare
11.00 Treasures of the British Library (AD)
12.00 Discovering: Rock Hudson 1.00pm Tales
of the Unexpected (AD) 2.00 Watercolour
Challenge 2.30 Auction (AD) 3.00 Talks Music
(AD) 4.00 Trailblazers: Madchester 5.00
Discovering: Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
5.30 Watercolour Challenge
6.00 Discovering: Groucho Marx
7.00 Master of Photography. The contestants
try to capture the essence of rush hour (AD)
8.00 Disney’s Broadway Hits. A celebration of
Disney’s musicals at London’s Royal Albert Hall
10.00 Landscape Artist of the Year 2017
11.00 Discovering: Albert Finney
12.00 Tony Palmer’s The World of Hugh Hefner
1.00am Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.00
Auction (AD) 2.30 Aida on Sydney Harbour
5.00 The South Bank Show Originals
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00
Premier League Daily 11.00 Sky Sports Daily
12.00 Live ATP Tennis. The Erste Bank Open
6.00pm Live ATP Tennis. The Swiss Indoors
7.40 Live Irish Football: Linfield v Crusaders
(Kick-off 7.45). Coverage of the Irish
Premiership match at Windsor Park
9.45 My Icon: Anthony Joshua.
The heavyweight boxer talks about his idol
10.00 AJ v Pulev: The Camps. A look behind the
scenes of the training camps of Anthony Joshua
and Kubrat Pulev ahead of their fight in Cardiff
10.30 Sky Sports News at Ten
11.00 Sky Sports News. A round-up of the day’s
talking points and a look ahead to the events
that are likely to make the news tomorrow,
featuring previews and interviews
12.00 Sky Sports News. A round-up of the day’s
talking points 1.00am My Icon: Solomon
Wilcots 1.15 Live NFL: Philadelphia Eagles v
Washington Redskins (Kick-off 1.30) 4.45 My
Icon: Shaun Gayle 5.00 Sky Sports News
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Made in
Northern Ireland 10.40 True North: Crusaders
— Keeping the Faith 11.40 Have I Got a Bit
More News for You 12.25am The Graham
Norton Show (r) 1.15-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Landward
10.45 The Ganges with Sue Perkins (AD)
11.45 Have I Got a Bit More News for You
12.30am The Graham Norton Show. Chat show
(r) 1.15 Weather for the Week Ahead
1.20-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 X-Ray. Lucy
Owen meets a couple from Pontllanfraith
landed with fines of more than £1,000 by four
London councils for driving offences, even
though they have never visited the city
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 10.00pm-10.30 Trad Ar
Fad! Pauline Scanlon and John Toal present the
music programme, introducing performances by
Cúig, Emma Ní Fhíoruisce and Briste (r)
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Terry Yorath: Life
on the Edge 10.45 Sharp End 11.15-11.50
Countrywise: Guide to Britain (r)
STV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 STV Children’s
Appeal: Where Your Money Goes 10.30
Scotland Tonight 11.05 Gordon Ramsay on
Cocaine (r) 12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After
Midnight 2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days
7.30 Oak Tree: Nature’s Greatest Survivor.
George McGavin studies an oak tree throughout
the seasons of the year, investigating its
surprisingly sophisticated biology and how it
adapts to its changing environment (r)
9.00 A Year in an English Garden: Flicker &
Pulse. Footage of a walled garden filmed over
the course of 12 months exploring the
relationship between seasons, plants and the
people who work there. See Viewing Guide
10.00 The Vietnam War. South Vietnamese
forces fighting on their own in Laos suffer a
defeat, while President Nixon announces
Hanoi has agreed to a peace deal (AD)
10.55 The Vietnam War. The Watergate scandal
forces Nixon to resign. Last in the series (AD)
11.50 Lost Kingdoms of Central America.
Dr Jago Cooper examines the history of the
Taino people of the Caribbean, the first
population of the Americas to greet explorer
Christopher Columbus (r) (AD)
12.50am Dan Cruickshank’s Adventures
in Architecture. Documentary (r) (AD)
1.50-3.00 I Know Who You Are (r)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Charmed (r)
9.00 Melissa & Joey (r) 10.00 Baby Daddy (r)
11.00 How I Met Your Mother (r) (AD) 12.00
New Girl (r) (AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory
(r) (AD) 2.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 3.00 How
I Met Your Mother (r) (AD) 4.00 New Girl (r)
(AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 5.30 Stage
School. Tensions are rising in the girl band
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Glenn offers to give Darcy a lift,
with an ulterior motive (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers (r)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 Made in Chelsea. Francis and Proudlock try
to get Jamie back in the dating game
10.00 Tattoo Fixers. A film fan seeks help to
mend his Robert De Niro portrait (r) (AD)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.40 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.05am Rude Tube (r) 1.10 Made in Chelsea
(r) 2.15 First Dates (r) (AD) 3.10 Tattoo Fixers
(r) (AD) 4.05 2 Broke Girls (r) (AD) 4.30
Rude(ish) Tube (r) 4.55 Charmed (r)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) 9.30 FILM:
Trapeze (U, 1956) Circus drama starring Burt
Lancaster 11.40 Kirstie’s Vintage Gems (r)
12.05pm Time Team (r) 2.15 Four in a Bed (r)
4.50 A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (r)
6.55 The Supervet. Two poodles are treated (r)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud revisits a
couple who bought a plot of land in London too
small to build a traditional home (2/3) (r) (AD)
9.00 The Mystery of the Crossrail Skulls.
The discovery of human remains beneath
London’s Liverpool Street station (r)
10.00 999: What’s Your Emergency? Paramedics
deal with people with mental health problems,
attempting to talk a man from the edge of a
multi-storey car park roof and helping a father
with suicidal thoughts (3/6) (r) (AD)
11.05 24 Hours in A&E. A 10-year-old is rushed
to St George’s after twisting her leg while
playing football, X-rays reveal that her femur is
broken and she will need surgery (r) (AD)
12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
1.05 999: What’s Your Emergency? (r) (AD)
2.05 24 Hours in A&E (r) (AD) 3.15-3.40
8 Out of 10 Cats: Best Bits (r)
11.00am 3:10 to Yuma (PG, 1957) Western
with Glenn Ford and Van Heflin (b/w) 12.50pm
Twelve O’Clock High (U, 1949) The
commander of a US bomber squadron suppresses
his compassionate nature to restore morale and
discipline. Second World War drama with
Gregory Peck and Hugh Marlowe (b/w) 3.30
The Inn of the Sixth Happiness (PG, 1958)
An English missionary leads dozens of Chinese
orphans to safety across hostile territory during
the Sino-Japanese War. Fact-based drama
starring Ingrid Bergman and Curt Jurgens
6.40 A Good Year (12, 2006) Comedy drama
starring Russell Crowe and Albert Finney
9.00 St Vincent (12, 2014) A misanthropic
Vietnam veteran with a gambling problem
teaches a lonely 12-year-old boy some valuable
life lessons. Comedy drama with Bill Murray
11.05 Ted (15, 2012) A boy’s magical living
teddy remains his friend into adulthood,
creating tension with his girlfriend. Comedy
starring Mark Wahlberg (AD)
1.10am-3.05 Radiator (15, 2014)
Comedy drama starring Daniel Cerqueira,
Richard Johnson and Gemma Jones
6.00am The Cube: Celebrity Special (r) 6.50
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.15
The Great Indoors (r) (AD) 8.00 Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 8.30 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 9.30 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show (r) 10.20 The Great
Indoors (r) (AD) 11.15 Dress to Impress (r)
12.20pm Emmerdale (r) (AD) 12.50 Coronation
Street (r) (AD) 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
6.00 Dress to Impress (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold. Squashed
Wombles and wrestling toddlers (r)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 Family Guy (AD)
9.30 American Dad! (AD)
10.00 Timewasters (AD)
10.30 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 American Dad! (r) (AD)
12.00 Celebrity Juice (r) 12.45am The
Cleveland Show (r) (AD) 1.20 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records (r) 1.35 Scorpion (r)
(AD) 2.25 Teleshopping 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r)
6.55 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 7.55 Wild at Heart (r)
8.50 Judge Judy (r) 10.15 Inspector Morse (r)
12.35pm Wild at Heart (r) 1.40 Heartbeat (r)
(AD) 2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r)
3.45 Inspector Morse (r)
6.00 Heartbeat. Blaketon offers to search
for a woman’s missing son (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. (2/2) Jessica risks life
and limb to get her brother-in-law off the hook.
A confession seems to provide a solution to the
crimes, but the sleuth is unconvinced (r) (AD)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple. The sleuth
investigates the murder of her old friend
Father Gorman, using a list of names sent
by the priest moments before his death
to bring the guilty party to justice (r) (AD)
10.05 Lewis. A woman is murdered in what
appears to be a botched blackmail attempt, and
as events unfold, Lewis realises an old secret
lies at the heart of the case (4/4) (r) (AD)
12.00 Inspector Morse. A former police
commissioner is murdered (r) 2.15am ITV3
Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am Snooker v Darts (r) 6.05 The Chase (r)
7.45 Counting Cars (r) 8.40 Pawn Stars (r) 9.35
Ironside (r) 10.40 Quincy ME (r) 11.40 The
Sweeney (r) 12.45pm The Avengers (r) 1.50
Ironside (r) 2.55 Quincy ME (r) 4.00 The
Sweeney (r) 5.00 The Avengers (r)
6.05 Counting Cars (r)
6.35 Counting Cars (r)
7.00 Pawn Stars (r)
7.30 Pawn Stars (r)
8.00 River Monsters (r)
8.30 River Monsters (r)
9.00 Car Crash Global: Caught on Camera (r)
10.00 FILM: Out for Justice (18, 1991) A
tough Brooklyn detective sets out on a one-man
quest to avenge the murder of his partner by a
vicious drug dealer. Action thriller starring
Steven Seagal and William Forsythe (AD)
11.50 FILM: Hard Target (18, 1993) An
out-of-work merchant sailor investigates
hunters who stalk human prey. Action thriller
starring Jean-Claude Van Damme (AD)
1.55am Motorsport UK 2.45 ITV4 Nightscreen
3.00 Teleshopping. Buying goods
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 9.30 Storage Hunters UK 10.00
American Pickers 1.00pm Top Gear (AD) 3.00
Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve Austin’s Broken
Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. Motoring magazine (AD)
7.00 Top Gear. The presenters build and race
Caterham 7s in Scotland (AD)
8.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish.
The spotlight falls on computer games
adverts and crosswords
9.00 Live at the Apollo. With Rob Brydon,
Sarah Millican and Jason Byrne
10.00 Red Dwarf. The team are arrested by the
Mechanoid Intergalactic Liberation Front (AD)
10.40 Zapped. Brian takes a crash course in
magic from Howell (AD)
11.20 QI. Christmas special from 2004
12.00 Would I Lie to You? 12.40am Mock the
Week 1.20 The Last Man on Earth (AD) 2.20
Would I Lie to You? 2.55 Harry Hill’s TV Burp
3.20 Harry Hill’s the Best of TV Burp 4.00
Home Shopping. Buying goods
7.00am Mansfield Park 8.00 London’s Burning
9.00 Casualty 10.00 Hetty Wainthropp
Investigates 11.00 The Bill 1.00pm Last of the
Summer Wine 1.40 Brush Strokes 2.20 Birds of
a Feather 3.00 London’s Burning 4.00 Pie in the
Sky 5.00 Hetty Wainthropp Investigates
6.00 Brush Strokes. Eric and Jean decide to
move house and Jacko is upset
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine.
Foggy tries to cheer Compo up
7.20 As Time Goes By. Jean and Lionel
plan a weekend away
8.00 Ashes to Ashes. Fantasy drama sequel to
Life on Mars, set in 1981 (1/8)
9.00 Death in Paradise. Richard Poole meets a
sticky end at a university reunion (1/8) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. Gerry and the team agree to
help a man who believes his wife is still alive,
even though she seems to have died 18 months
earlier in a car accident (3/8) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather.
Sharon is asked to be a model
12.00 The Bill 1.00am London’s Burning
2.00 Mansfield Park 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Dickinson’s Real Deal 6.40 Battle
Factory 7.10 Raiders of the Lost Art (AD) 8.00
The Real Vikings: A Time Team Special 9.00
Walking Through History: King John’s Ruin —
Peak District 10.00 David Starkey’s Monarchy
(AD) 12.00 Wars of the Roses: A Time Team
Special 1.00pm Walking Through History 2.00
Yellowstone 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 The Hunt
(AD) 5.00 The Interviews
6.00 Nazi Hunters. Documentary
7.05 Nazi Hunters. The story of German
architect Albert Speer
8.00 David Starkey’s Monarchy. The reign of
King Henry VIII (2/5) (AD)
9.00 David Starkey’s Monarchy. The three
children of Henry VIII (3/5) (AD)
10.00 Open All Hours. Granville decides a
makeover is needed to impress a local beauty
10.40 Blackadder II. Edmund is challenged to a
drinking contest (AD)
11.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em
12.00 Abandoned Engineering (AD) 1.00am
Nazi Hunters 2.00 Secrets of War 3.00 Home
Shopping. Buying goods from home
UTV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Lesser Spotted
Journeys 10.45 View from Stormont 11.40
Australian Wilderness with Ray Mears
12.10am Countrywise: Guide to Britain (r)
12.40 Teleshopping 1.40-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Sgriobag (Get Squiggling) (r)
5.15 Rathad an Sutha (64 Zoo Lane) (r) 5.25
Calum Clachair: Gleann na Grèine (Bob the
Builder: Project Build It) (r) 5.35 Ceitidh Morag
(Katie Morag) (r) 5.50 Seonaidh (Shaun the
Sheep) (r) 6.00 Dè a-nis? (What Now?) (r)
7.00 Turas a’ Bhradain (The Salmon’s Journey)
(r) 7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 7.55
Earrann Eachdraidh (History Shorts) (r) 8.00
An Là (News) 8.30 Puirt-adhair (Highland
Airports) 9.00 Trusadh (Compelling Stories):
Seaweed Harvesters/Suas an Fheamainn (r)
10.00 Horo Gheallaidh (Celtic Music Sessions)
(r) 10.30 Mòd 2017: Mòd na Cloinne (r)
12.00-5.00am Close
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Chwedlau
Tinga Tinga (r) 6.30 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r)
6.40 Sam Tân (r) 6.55 Meripwsan (r) 7.00
ASRA 7.15 Twm Tisian (r) 7.25 Digbi Draig (r)
7.35 Dwylo’r Enfys (r) 7.50 Sara a Cwac (r)
8.00 Octonots (r) 8.10 Wmff (r) 8.20 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 8.35 Y Teulu Mawr (r)
8.45 Marcaroni (r) 9.00 Popi’r Gath (r) 9.10
Stiw (r) 9.20 Ben a Mali a’u Byd Bach O Hud
(r) 9.35 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 9.45 Bach a
Mawr (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul (r) 10.15 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.30 Sam Tân (r) 10.40 Twt (r)
10.55 Peppa (r) 11.00 ASRA (r) 11.15 Ynys
Broc Môr Lili (r) 11.20 Digbi Draig (r) 11.35
Jen a Jim Pob Dim (r) 11.50 Sara a Cwac (r)
12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Heno (r)
1.00 Celwydd Noeth (r) 1.30 Byd o Liw: Cestyll
(r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn
Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Cerdded y
Llinell (r) 3.30 Olion: Palu am Hanes (r) (AD)
4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05
Stwnsh: Boom! 5.15 Stwnsh: Fideo Fi (r) 5.35
Stwnsh: Sgorio 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05
04 Wal (r) 6.30 Adre (r) 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol
y Cwm (AD) 8.25 Garddio a Mwy 9.00 News 9
a’r Tywydd 9.30 Ffermio. Country and farming
magazine programme, including features on
rural life 10.00 Mike Phillips a’r Senghenydd
Sirens. The team are sitting at the top of the
Second Division and begin their preparations
for the semi-finals of the Swalec Cup Plate (r)
10.30-11.35 Y Dyn Gwyllt: Tri Thymor (r) (AD)
14
Monday October 23 2017 | the times
1GT
What are your favourite puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7477
2
3
4
5
6
7
3
22
9
8
9
21
21
26
Scrabble ® Challenge No 1985
3
10
26
25
7
7
4
16
4
21
21
6
10
24
3
10
3
2
3
7
19
3
26
11
13
15
14
12
G
14
12
13
10
14
21
6
8
6
12
4
6
15
5
21
24
18
13
4
23
3
12
13
13
17
3
2L
7
24
6
12
25
3
16
3
17
8
9
10
11 12
2L
2W
five
3L
3L
o
2L
2L
s
i
pinked 2L
2L
e 2L
3L
e
2W
2W
d
21
21
7
14
20
4
21
4
6
24
20
3
14
10
21
2L
2W
19
2W
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
18
6
12
11
10
12
12
6
12
11
23
timpola
25
What seven-letter word can you
play with this rack?
19
12
20
7
1
21
25
7
3
3
19
3
20
3
10
3
14
13
hidclog
26
What eight-letter word can you
play with this rack?
23
21
Across
1 Unit of length (4)
3 According to justice (8)
8 Shipping forecast area (7)
10 Make unhappy (5)
11 Annual going over of a
home (6-5)
13 Over-refined, affected (6)
15 Water boiler (6)
Solution to Crossword 7476
E
F
M
RA I
N
I G
A
UCH
E AR
A E
S ED
E H
L OO
T
E
P S
AC T I L E
A G V
S ERGE
T
A R
DERMAN
17 Lowest part of atmosphere
(11)
20 Rare unusual item (5)
21 Shipping forecast area (7)
22 Thwarting, blocking (8)
23 Horse breeding farm (4)
Down
1 Overrun by parasites (8)
2 Give comfort to (5)
4 Eg, beetle or bee (6)
5 Domestic manager (11)
6 Shipping forecast area (7)
7 Stringed instrument (4)
9 Study of birds (11)
12 Dead (8)
14 Shipping forecast area (7)
16 Box for burial (6)
18 Official order (5)
19 Playing cards (4)
24
19
22
3
7
13
3
Use only the board area shown. Collins Official
Scrabble Words is the authority used, although the
solutions are not unusual words. Standard Scrabble
rules apply for making the word plays.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
I
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
12
13
25
26
G
24
N
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 88010. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Lexica
F
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
88010 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
No 3972
A
I
G
T
G
P
E
V
K
F
F
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
S
R
L
E
D
I
U
R
E
R
E
O
K
U
A
Y
A
L
R
L
C
O
B
B
E
E
B
R
A
O
E
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
L
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Easy No 4153
Futoshiki No 3026
Kakuro No 1985
24
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
>
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
Challenge compiled by Allan Simmons
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2017
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Saturday’s solution, right
No 3971
Key
2L = double letter
3L = triple letter
2W = double word
3W = triple word
Letter values
AEIOULNRST=1
DG=2 BCMP=3
FHVWY=4 K=5
JX=8 QZ=10
3
© PUZZLER MEDIA
22
CA S S E T T
O T
T
A
DE A T H B
I
N O L
F I NE S S E
Y
I
F
CAR TO
O
A O
WE A L D T
N M
I
B
S P A T U L A
U S M L
POSH A L
7
2W
24
N
11
6
2W
21
I
10
5
40
16
17
24
∧
33
14
8
33
14
24
17
16
4
17
28
7
8
6
12
7
4
25
18
4
30
3
3
14
30
< 3 >
4
4
4
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
30
5
>
<
∨
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
13
9
4
16
3
16
16
17
25
16
16
16
4
30
11
24
© PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3161
the times | Monday October 23 2017
15
1GT
MindGames
White: William Lombardy
Black: Miguel Quinteros
Manila 1973
Sicilian Defence
1 e4 c5 2 Nf3 d6 3 d4 cxd4 4
Nxd4 Nf6 5 Nc3 a6
Once again the Najdorf variation of the Sicilian Defence, employed by Lombardy himself in his
victory against Boris Spassky as
seen in this column on Saturday.
6 Bg5 e6
Diverging from Spassky-Lombardy, Leningrad 1960 which continued 6 ... Nbd7 7 Bc4 Qa5 8 Qd2.
7 f4 Be7 8 Qf3 h6 9 Bh4 Qc7 10
0-0-0 Nbd7 11 Be2 Rb8 12 Qg3
Rg8 13 Rhf1
The position before us constitutes one of the chief highways of
the Najdorf variation. Black’s next
move, seemingly natural, was new
at the time with the even more
provocative 13 ... g5 being the
preferred choice. For example
Grefe-Browne, El Paso 1973 continued 13 ... g5 14 fxg5 Ne5 (an
amazing variation is 14 ... hxg5 15
Bxg5 Nh7 16 Rxf7!! Rxg5 17 Nxe6
Rxg3 18 Bh5!! winning) 15 Nf3 b5.
Unsurprisingly, 13 ... g5 was soon
________
á 4bi 4 D]
àD DnD 0 ]
ßpDqD gQ0]
ÞDpDN0RD ]
Ý D D DBD]
ÜD D D D ]
ÛP)PD DP)]
ÚD IRD D ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
Black has defended well but now
he misses the counterintuitive
defence 21 ... Qe6 which, paradoxically, enables him to survive
even though his queen would be
in the direct line of fire of the
white bishop. A sample variation
is 22 Rf3 Qe8 23 Qe4 Bg5+ 24 Kb1
Rxf3 25 Qxf3 Rb7 26 Qc3 Qg6 27
Qa5+ Ke8 28 Nc7+ Kf8 29 Ne6+
Kg8 30 Qc3 with unclear play.
21 ... Rb6 22 Rxf6
Now Black is unceremoniously
crushed.
22 ... gxf6 23 Qg7 Rb7
Allowing mate but by now the
black position was beyond good
and evil.
24 Qe7 mate
________
árD D DkD] Winning Move
àD DNDp0 ]
ß DpD D 0] White to play. This position is from
Antalya 2017.
Þ0 DpD D ] Taskaya-O’Connor,
Black is very uncoordinated and White
Ý 0 ) DP1] exploited this with a clever combination
ÜhPD !PD ] that eventually resulted in a decisive gain
ÛPIPD D D] of material. Can you see it?
ÚD D $ D ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
7/8
3/4
EASY
52
– 12
MEDIUM
71
x 7 + 57 + 1/2 – 89 ÷ 2 + 79
HARDER
OF IT
x2
–6
OF IT
x 2 – 12
OF IT
248 + 521
7/9
OF IT
5/7
OF IT
÷4
– 68 x 3
x 4 + 228 + 1/2 – 878 +OF1/IT2 + 475 + 1/2 – 997
OF IT
OF IT
2
2
Polygon
Saturday’s answers besom, best, bice,
biome, bisect, bite, boîte, bout, bust,
comb, combe, combi, combust,
combustive, cube, cubism, cubist,
cubit, imbue, mobe, obit, obtuse,
sebum, stob, stub, submit, tomb,
tsubo, tube, umbo, vibe
Killer Gentle No 5685
13
3
8
16
8
5min
6
13
6
5
14
24
♠8 6 5 4 2
♥KQ J 4
♦♣J 10 9 4
♠A 3
♠J
N
♥9
♥10 8 6 5 3
W E
♦K J 9 8 5 3 S
♦10 6 2
♣KQ 3 2 ♠ KQ 10 9 7 ♣A 8 7 5
♥A 7 2
♦AQ 7 4
♣6
S(Gold)
W
N(AR)
E
1♠
2♦
4♦(1) Pass
4NT(2) Pass
5♦(3) Pass
5♠ (4) End
(1) Splinter bid, showing a raise to 4♦ with
a singleton or void in diamonds. North
would normally have more strength but
bidding 4♦ should help partner to judge
correctly if East bids 5♦.
(2) Loving the splinter given his diamond
length and fine controls, South employs
Roman Key Card Blackwood.
(3) Playing 1430 as we do, this shows none of
the “five aces” (including the king of spades).
(4) “Thanks Robbo,” Gold said wryly
through the screen (that divides the table
diagonally so you can’t see your partner).
Subtext: you bid 4♦ and have no keycards?
Contract: 5♠ , Opening Lead: ♣K?
“Robson, I want to talk to you
about your 4♦ bid”. Teammate Zia
Mahmood took me aside after the
set was finished. I was under no
illusions what awaited me. “Talk to
you about” meant “you blithering
idiot”.
I stood my corner. “Zed, I disagree. Give partner as little as
♠ AKxxx, ♥Axx, ♦xxxx, ♣x and
6♠ is huge.”
Zia walked away to find new
prey. andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
-
15
3
10
17
17
8
+
+
x
x
+
3
=
13
x
7
=
3
=
7
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
5
1
3
3
1
∧
2
2
5
∨
4
∨
3 <
4
2
6
11min
4
9
7
8
1 6
3
7 8
7
2 9 8 6
4
7 9
6 9 8
8 1 5
6 4
2 7 9 1
4 9 8 3 1
1 4 2
5
8
12
7
10
-
÷
+
x
x
3
x
2
7
8
17
11
11
17
22
4
18
12
2
12
2
10
13
17
10
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
5
2
3
7
9
8
4
1
6
1
6
8
4
2
5
7
9
3
9
4
7
6
3
1
2
8
5
7
5
4
3
8
6
1
2
9
8
1
6
2
7
9
5
3
4
C
1
O
+
x
5
1
5 > 1
3
4
KenKen 4152
2
3
9
1
5
4
6
7
8
4
9
2
8
6
7
3
5
1
6
7
5
9
1
3
8
4
2
3
8
1
5
4
2
9
6
7
+
+
3
2
3 3
3
6
2
6
I
5
R
R
I
M
L
Lexica 3970
B
U
S
7
x
9
22
6
Cell Blocks 3043
30
3
Lexica 3969
÷
4
10
16
2
4
∧
5
Sudoku 9400
1
2 4 1
5 3 8 9 4
1 9 7 2
7 6
5 4 8
5 1 3
1 2
4 8
4 3 9 1 2
2
6 3 1
3
8 9 7
Set Square 1987
30
10
8
4
∨
2
Scrabble 1984
WAYSIDE E5 across (56)
TIFFANY D6 across (40)
9
14
26
Suko 2062
Futoshiki 3025
17
12
21
2
Chess 1 Qe8+! Rxe8 2 Rxe8+ Kh7 3 Nf8+ Kg8 4 Ng6+
Kh7 5 Nxh4 wins
Killer Tricky No 5686
15
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
= 3 positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
We’ve
= 54 works?
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
x
-
7
7
= 56 from 1-9 are
-
15
3
All the digits
÷
5
14
5
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
Teams
x
14
18
12
6
Solutions
Kakuro 1984
Team Percy, including your
columnist, advanced to the semifinals of the recent World
Transnational
Open
Team
Championship in Lyon, where we
lost narrowly to the eventual winners Mazurkiewicz from Poland.
We dodged a bullet on this deal
from that fateful match.
First, let me ask you this question. When the opponents bid
Blackwood and stop at the Fivelevel, what can you deduce?
Answer: they are missing two aces
— for the (only) point of
Blackwood is stopping out of Six
when missing two aces.
The Polish West led the king of
clubs v 5♠ (do you agree?) and,
when it held, continued with a second club. Declarer, David Gold,
ruffed away East’s ace and led the
king of spades. West won the ace,
East’s bare jack falling, and declarer was able to claim the rest, drawing West’s second spade when he
regained the lead. 5♠ made.
West will not have been proud
of his performance on the board.
North-South must be missing two
aces for their Blackwood-thenbail, so he knows his partner has
an ace.
Not only should West have led
his singleton heart at trick one
(rather than the king of clubs), he
should have doubled 5♠ and led
his singleton heart. Declarer wins
and leads the king of spades but
West can win, lead the queen of
clubs (not the normal top-of-asequence king, to make sure East
wins the ace) to East’s ace and
score his second-round heart ruff.
Down one.
2
1
5
Bridge Andrew Robson
4
3
Tredoku 1496
8
14
5
12
6
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Set Square No 1988
From these letters, make words of three
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 12 words, average;
17, good; 21, very good; 25, excellent
17
4
12
3
5
© PUZZLER MEDIA
The American grandmaster William Lombardy (December 4, 1937
to October 13, 2017) was awarded
the tournament’s first brilliancy
prize for today’s game. The award
was presented in person by President Marcos of the Philippines.
The attack launched by 14 Nxe6,
over which Lombardy thought for
an hour, is speculative but White’s
onslaught was brave and imaginative and deserved to succeed.
abandoned as being too dangerous for Black.
13 ... b5 14 Nxe6
Bold but not necessarily best. 14
Bxf6 Bxf6 15 e5 dxe5 16 f5 gives a
huge attack. 14 f5 and the immediate 14 e5 are also very strong.
14 ... fxe6 15 Qg6+ Kd8 16 e5
White has sacrificed a piece
primarily to pin down the black
king. Over the next few moves
White’s priority is to rush further
resources into the attack.
16 ... dxe5 17 f5 exf5 18 Bxf6 Bxf6
19 Nd5 Qc6 20 Rxf5 Rf8 21 Bg4
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Bill’s brilliancy
Cell Blocks No 3044
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
V
A
T
R
A
A
C
B
Y
D
L
U
E
T
Killer 5684
3
2
4
8
2
6
9
1
3
5
4
7
7
9
1
4
6
5
2
3
8
6
7
3
5
4
9
8
2
1
P
I
N
N
C
C
3
5
4
7
8
2
6
1
9
T
O
C
O
R
K
G
L
E
O
A
N
L
Codeword 3160
5
8
2
1
3
7
9
6
4
1
4
9
6
2
8
3
7
5
9
3
8
2
7
4
1
5
6
4
6
5
3
9
1
7
8
2
2
1
7
8
5
6
4
9
3
Quiz 1 Jupiter 2 Beatrix Potter 3 Unst
4 Battle of Balaclava (on October 25, 1854)
5 Grasshoppers 6 Ford 7 1916 8 Homeostasis
9 Yellow Pages, in a 1983 TV ad starring
Norman Lumsden 10 Bread 11 Dita Von Teese,
born Heather Renée Sweet 12 1999 13 Sir Hardy
Amies 14 The Dallas Cowboys 15 Madness
WA RM T
A
D O
MA J OR
A O A
SQU E L C
S
R
I NC U R
F
N
L AR V A
O
E W
OU T CA S
R
R
R
OO Z E
H
S T
E
C
I N H I
G
E
H MA
T
E
E D I
N
E ROS
T
P
T
T O
L
I
E X C I
A Y
L
S
B I T
U O
MBO
L
C T
R
I
I ON
C
A
K E N
E
E
T E
Word Watch
Gerascophobia (b) Fear
of growing old
Dromophobia (a) Fear of
crossing roads
Teratophobia (c) Fear of
giving birth to a monster
Brain Trainer
Easy 15; Medium 846;
Harder 8,891
23.10.17
MindGames
Easy No 9401
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
9 3
7
6
4
9
4
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
Gerascophobia
a Fear of achieving
b Fear of growing old
c Fear of giants
Dromophobia
a Fear of crossing roads
b Fear of camels
c Fear of coercion
Teratophobia
a Fear of sea mammals
b Fear of the
number four
c Fear of giving birth
Answers on page 15
Difficult No 9402
8
1
1 9 2 8 4
2
3 9
8 2
8
7
7
1
9
3
3 2
5 8
3 1
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
Fiendish No 9403
1
2
9
6 8 2
2
5
8
5 6
3
7 4 3 2 9
12 In which year were
the films Eyes Wide
Shut, Notting Hill and
The Matrix released?
15
6 Which carmaker
produces the
EcoSport, Mustang
and Edge models?
process of maintaining
metabolic equilibrium
within an animal?
9 JR Hartley used which
telephone directory to
find the book Fly
Fishing by JR Hartley?
7 Prime ministers
Harold Wilson and
Edward Heath were
both born in which
year of the Great War?
10 In 1928, Otto
Frederick Rohwedder
invented a commercial
machine for slicing
what food?
8 In 1926, Walter
Bradford Cannon coined
the term for which
13 Which English
designer (1909-2003)
was the Queen’s
official dressmaker
from 1952 until his
retirement in 1989?
Friday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 944
14 In 1989, Jerry Jones
bought which NFL
team from Bum Bright
for $140 million?
15 Which English ska
band is pictured?
Answers on page 15
The Times Quick Cryptic No 945
2
3
4
5
6
7
10
11
13
12
14
15
17
22
16
18
20
19
21
23
8
5
6
4 9
4
2
9
6
7 9
7
J AMA I C
B
N O
I ND I G
D O
D E R V M
E
I
SWA RMS
R
T
L I NGE R
T
R
A
E V E R L
U
E
OP I N E
A
C A T CH
D O
E S T I ON
N
E
T
E A S UR E D
P
S
PO T A T O
E
E
E R
ROO T
R
R
A S T I NG
E
E
A
V AGR A N T
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
by Teazel
8
9
6 7 1
1
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
11 Marilyn Manson
married which
burlesque dancer
in 2005?
2 Who privately
printed her children’s
book, The Tailor of
Gloucester, in 1902?
1
5
1
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
1 In The Planets suite by
Holst, which gas giant is
the “bringer of jollity”?
5 Which fried insects
are the main ingredient
in the Mexican dish,
chapulines?
8
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
DAVID BEBBER FOR THE TIMES
4 Robert Gibb’s 1881
painting The Thin Red
Line depicts which
Crimean War battle?
1 5
8
2
4 7
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
3 Which Shetland
island is home to the
village of Baltasound,
Muness Castle and
Greenwell’s Booth
warehouse?
6
3
2
7 4
6
3
6
1 7
7
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
Across
1 Faces sport — you won’t win
this! (4,4)
5 Rip off raincoats to throw back
(4)
9 After a day, water is to flow
away slowly (5)
10 Cutter takes policeman across
river (7)
11 Fish, and how to pay for it? (3)
12 Fruit — some elicit anger,
inexplicably (9)
13 Releases legs to move (4,2)
15 Art thou being nosy, vicar? (6)
17 Massager treats toe with
potash (9)
19 Bloody awful performance —
heads roll (3)
20 Quiet, because sleep regularly
has to be protected (7)
21 Gasp at old form of
entertainment (5)
22 Island is heaven, we’re told (4)
23 Painstaking bosses store
debtor’s note (8)
Down
1 Award, securing one first in
chemistry examination (7)
2 Finally obtaining foreign
currency is splendid (5)
3 Kept out of sight, having left
for match? (4,2,6)
4 Chap entertains company,
offering wine (5)
6 Fancy cloak worn by wealthy
shortened (7)
7 Mrs Simpson’s spread (5)
8 Get in a mess, but look
appropriate for Conference?
(2,4-6)
14 Child friend? Absolutely (7)
16 One stretches up on these, and
ties top loosely (7)
17 Rock band a welcome find in
desert (5)
18 Turn aside to maintain
temperature (5)
19 Swimming in bog? I’ve done
it! (5)
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