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The Times Times 2 - 24 April 2018

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On Tuesday
April 24 | 2018
It’s a boy!
William and Kate join the three children club
2
1G T
Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
times2
William and
Decluttering may be
fashionable, but I’m here
to defend the hoarders
Robert Crampton
T
he news that there will
be a conference in
Scotland this year
dedicated to hoarding
— a disorder that is
soon to be recognised
as a distinct mental
illness — leaves me
conflicted. On the one hand, I’m all
for increased awareness of poor
mental health. My conviction stems
partly from a belief that such
awareness is one mark of a genuinely
civilised society and partly from selfinterest, my own mental health not
being as robust as I might wish. I feel
instinctive solidarity towards fellow
sufferers. Any efforts to highlight the
problems we face are fine by me.
I also applaud this specific decision
because I am prey to an urge to hang
on to stuff. What stuff? Well, pretty
much everything, as it goes. The room
in which I write is immoderately full of
bits and bobs I could rationally do
without but with which I cannot quite
bear to part.
I wouldn’t wish to exaggerate.
Hoarding is the least of my ailments.
The room is not floor-to-ceiling full.
There are no stacks of old newspapers
or weirdly treasured pizza boxes
blocking out the light and constituting
a fire hazard. Even so, I confess to a
tendency to hang on to belongings
rather longer than I should. That’s
what my wife says anyway, and as we
all know, wives are seldom if ever
wrong. There are knick-knacks, letters,
pictures, odds and ends and, dare I say
it, books that I could probably get rid
of. But don’t.
Which brings me neatly to my
misgivings regarding the impending
classification of hoarding as a variety
of mental illness. Now obviously, at
its extreme, the diagnosis is correct.
From my perspective as a fair-tomiddling hoarder, however, I worry.
I can’t help but wonder if, given the
modern craze for minimalism, those
of us inclined to keep rather than
discard our worldly goods may also
be pathologised on the basis of a mere
fashion for decluttering.
I don’t know about you, but much as
I enjoy their shows, I don’t want Sarah
And now,
a sting in
the tail . . .
Big families are fun for the children
and smug-making. Pity they are also
utterly exhausting, says Rachel Johnson
Netflix
and its
chill boss
Beeny, Kirstie Allsopp or Laurence
Llewelyn Blinking Bowen telling me
whether I’m bonkers or not. Forget
yesterday, live for today. That’s the
philosophy behind the drive towards
disposability. That and the advent of
technology that enables electronic
rather than physical storage.
It bothers me, this trend. Sure, it
pays not to be burdened with material
goods. Or emotional or spiritual
baggage come to that. Storing your
ancestors in the rafters — literally or
metaphorically — is a bad idea. Yet I
ask myself, is it such a bad thing to
want to hang on to a few vestiges of
your heritage?
The alternative is that so-called
sanity becomes defined by the dictates
of fashion. Maybe in the near future
anyone without the latest iPhone will
be deemed to be in need of medical
help. How about if you’re not on
Facebook? Will that soon be regarded
as defective behaviour? How about if
your home decor rocks an Anaglypta
vibe rather than elephant’s breath?
What if you prefer KFC to Ottolenghi?
Trivial as it may sound, it’s worth
asking the question.
Is it Ottolenghi by the way? I always
get it mixed up with the guy who plays
centre back for Man City.
If you haven’t seen the
YouTube clip of a
decapitated wasp
searching for (and
finding, and happily
buzzing off in
possession of ) its own
head, I dare you to
watch it. Scariest
video I’ve seen since
unwisely renting The
Exorcist in 1983.
Seriously worrying.
As if the little stripy
buggers weren’t
frightening enough
already! Now it turns
out that — unless some
canny CGI has been
employed — they don’t
even need the thinking
end of their body to go
about their business.
Business that, as they
stir themselves into
action on these delayed
spring days after a long
restorative winter kip,
involves any interaction
with us humans being
I enjoyed the admission
from Reed Hastings,
the chief executive of
Netflix, that he is so
laid-back he can
sometimes go three
whole months without
making a single
decision. He means a
single business
decision, presumably
— I guess Hastings,
chilled as he may be,
remains sufficiently
alert to perform basic
bodily functions. As in
eating, sleeping, going
to the loo etc. Or
maybe he just sits in
a stupor behind his
desk, starving hungry,
dozing fitfully and
occasionally soiling
himself, who knows?
Of course Hastings
trumpets his hands-off
approach as pursuing
the art of delegation.
Which is exactly the
sort of guff any halfway
conscious corporate
drone can immediately
tag as boss-speak for
prevarication,
dithering, laziness,
not knowing what on
earth to say or do, call
it what you will.
It’s all right for some,
eh? I suppose while
Netflix is one of those
companies carrying all
before it, Hastings’s
apparent lack of
leadership doesn’t
matter much. It will,
though, sooner or later.
at best irritating and at
worst very painful.
Bottom line: wasps
are so hardcore that
they can still ruin
your day even while
handicapped by the
need to lug around
their heads. To be fair,
the separation of head
and body does interfere
with the creature’s
ability to eat, but even
so, you’ve gotta respect
their persistence, right?
S
o distracting the Duchess
of Cambridge going “into
Labour”, as many headlines
put it, as if she suddenly
saw the point of Jeremy
Corbyn with her first
contractions.
During the long morning
my chief preoccupations were 1) how
soon after the birth would Kate appear
back in her skinny jeans? And 2) the
“Lindowing” of the world’s press
camped in W2 (ie the technical
broadcasting term for the poor
reporters camped opposite the Lindo
Wing of St Mary’s, saying nothing of
note with the glistening expressions
reserved for these primal occasions of
national joy).
But my attention also snagged on 3)
the survey that Mumsnet popped out
to coincide with the royal birth. This
said that 55 per cent of parents polled
reckoned going from two to three
children was easier than going from
one to two and also easier than going
from being child-free to becoming
first-time parents.
Agree. If you draw a veil over the
actual birth, that is. In my experience
— look away
now — going
from nought
to one was a
life-and-death
experience
(emergency
forceps in
theatre after a
36-hour labour,
though it felt
much longer).
Going from
two to three
was blue
flashing lights
too (emergency C-section).
section) Even two
to three was life-and-death, although
the birth was easier.
The glad morning after the birth of
a royal baby on St George’s Day —
perhaps the most Daily Express event
in modern British history — is perhaps
not the time to share the story of that
night, a full-on hand-that-rocks-thecradle ’mare. (Oh, all right then,
briefly: I contrived to sack our nanny
the day I went into labour. My waters
broke during Brookside. My husband
was at work in Canary Wharf. I was
alone in the house. I chased them both
down, then took up a position by the
front door, doubled up and panting,
with my bag containing Babygros and
doll-size nappies. Then he went down
to the kitchen to say we were off to
hospital, please look after the sleeping
babes, and she was waving a large
kitchen knife at him . . . to be continued
another time, perhaps.)
Apart from that, two to three is a
relative breeze, and this is largely
because nobody is that interested.
Pippa’s first has already had more
column inches than her elder sister
Kate’s entire third pregnancy.
But when it’s your first, you are
allowed to be the only woman in the
history of the world to have ever had a
baby. Everyone pretends to be
fascinated with your quite unique
achievement. They don’t even roll
their eyes (or scream) when you show
them actual scans of the contents of
your uterus.
When it’s your second — we should
remind readers that all subsequent
conceptions are immaculate — you
are so busy and besotted that the
pregnancy whooshes by, apart from
time spent moonily speculating how
you can possibly, ever, love another
baby as much as you love your first.
Then the second arrives and it’s like
being hit by a dump truck. It hits you
with force within minutes of giving
birth that you love the newborn just as
much but will never sleep again, let
alone have a lie-in (a what?) for the
next decade, so you may as well have a
third and get it over with, even if this
means you have to get a minivan and
live in outsize smocks for another two
years (not Kate, obviously, since she
“snaps back” like a tight rubber band).
Advantages of three? Large families
are like the Waltons, and fun for the
children when they outnumber the
parents (I look
forward
to the
f
gooey
pictures
g
and
a pull-out
supplements
of
s
George
and
G
Charlotte
with
C
their
new
t
sibling).
It’s
s
smug-making
s
too
t (in Notting
Hill
H five is the
new
n yummymummy
m
minimum).
m
You can use
Y
all
the ki
kit and
ll th
d clothes again.
Disadvantages? Exhaustion. The
Cambridges will have all the help they
want, but the duchess has still given
birth and will breastfeed while
mothering two small children.
Multiparous mothers know that
there is a particular tiredness that
enters the marrow after childbirth
when you have other small children
that’s hard to shake off. You fantasise
not of sex (what?), but sleep. You don’t
sleep because they don’t sleep, or never
at the same time, for long, brutal years.
People ask you “how you are” and it
is all you can do not to sob with selfpity. I taught my three to operate the
video recorder before I potty-trained
them, so if they woke before 6.30am at
weekends I could at least buy an extra
90 minutes in bed while they watched
The Lion King again.
I know that the duke and duchess
will have, unlike me, a cosy — or at
least not murderous — nanny or two
on hand to share the burden, but that’s
not the point. When you have a baby
(or three) not only do they want you
— as opposed to a crack uniformed
operative — you want them too.
As it goes in The Lion King: it’s the
circle of life.
the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
3
1G T
times2
Kate: you’re outnumbered now
COVER: GETTY IMAGES. BELOW: AARON CHOWN/PA
he arrival of a third child is
usually the cause of sharp
intakes of breath and
sympathetic noises directed at
the parents. “You’re outnumbered
now,” they say. “Any more and you’ll
be able to field your own football team.”
This produces a weak, sleep-deprived
smile. Managing a newborn while you
simultaneously navigate potty-training
number two and stream another
episode of Go Jetters on iPlayer for the
four-year-old is no laughing matter. It
requires a level of skill beyond even
Donald Trump’s lawyer. Leaving the
house for the school run is now a
military operation, with a rogue
missing plimsoll likely to cause a
meltdown of epic proportions.
I come out in a cold sweat at the
memory of returning from hospital
with our third child and having to
construct an Ikea cot while cooking
tea for the other two. A simple question
about the location of the allen key was
met with tears from my breastfeeding
wife, followed by a lecture about how
long she had spent in labour.
Although I imagine, in the case of
the Cambridges, that their immediate
concern will be less about flat-pack
and more about the world’s press pack
camped outside the Lindo Wing.
However, once the initial clusterdisaster of three children under the
age of five subsides, a sense of almost
Zen-like contentment can emerge.
With three you may be outnumbered,
but the siblings tend to gang up on
each other rather than the parents.
Bickering children may be a pain, but
they are preferable to the incessant
whine that comes with a bored child.
And having three children means they
— and you — are rarely bored.
With three kids, you have heft as a
family. You don’t need yet to upgrade
to a hateful seven-seat car, but it gives
you colonisation rights in restaurants.
With three, the eldest can help the
youngest with their homework while
you teach number two how to open a
bottle of beer. With three, you can
have arguments about the merits of
Star Wars versus Paddington 2.
A couple of years ago Eurostat, the
Europe-wide statistics agency,
published a report into the happiness
of its member states. As well as
working out each country’s level of
happiness (yes, the Scandinavians with
their saunas, smorgasbords and high
taxation topped the table), they also
looked into happiness by family type.
It was done on a scale of 0-10, with 0
being miserable and 10 being euphoric.
Those with three or more children
ranked their happiness as 7.4 on
average, considerably higher than
those who were single or those with
one or two children. In fact, having
three children was — apart from
moving to Stockholm — the simplest
way of guaranteeing happiness.
Now, correlation is not the same as
causation, but I found the research
comforting. Because along with the
sleepless nights, the squabbling and
endless lost socks, I wouldn’t swap my
large family for anything else.
The Cambridges just need to crack
on with number four. How else will
all those regiments find a new
colonel-in-chief?
truthful. In one scene the eponymous
Faith, played so beautifully by Eve
Myles, is losing her temper with her
beloved middle child. Her daughter is
playing happily with bubbles in the
bath, but Faith is in a desperate hurry
to leave the house and her eldest is
waiting downstairs with the baby. She
is instantly full of regret and guilt, and
as I watched, my eyes smarted at the
memory of doing and feeling exactly
that in ultra-panicky moments with
my boys. (They are now 16, 18 and 19,
and I’m ashamed to say that I still lose
my rag with them at times.)
Faith is often seen offloading the
kids on grandparents or friends, and
when mine were young I was
fortunate to be surrounded by a
support network of family and friends,
not least when my husband — a
photographer and film-maker — was
away working, sometimes for eight
weeks at a time up a mountain in
Siberia. I was working from home, so
au pairs were my lifesavers.
Having said that, no amount of help,
even for royalty with surround-sound
nannies, quite does the job. Staff need
nurturing and there are times when
only a parent will do. I remember the
singular agony of my study door being
flung open by a screaming toddler who
had escaped the kind clutches of the
au pair, invariably while I was in the
middle of a vital work call. I will never
forget that inner conflict of needing to
comfort (or admonish) a distressed
little soul and also needing so badly to
carry on and be professional.
I suppose Kate does do a good deal
of her work outside the home, and
that home (palace) is spacious enough
for her to be able to hide well away
from the nursery. But then she has to
contend with the demands of looking
good. God forbid. At least I could write
at my desk in a leaky maternity bra.
She has to be blow-dried to the hilt
and in full kit: jewels, shiny heels, even
a blinking fascinator. Hell.
For all her privilege, poise and
extensive help (teams of folk to source,
prepare and cook organic mush — yes
please!), the emotional tugs remain the
same as for all mothers — and fathers
— everywhere. Two children are hard
enough to leave for other duties when
you and only you are the person they
most want and cry out for. With three,
the heartache — and relief, let’s face it
— of being away from them is
magnified even more.
A miscarriage and divorce, which I
wouldn’t wish on anyone, intervened
to prevent me from a madly yearnedfor fourth. Let’s watch this space to see
if the Cambridges, in happier and
materially cushier circumstances, will
roll out another spare.
Having three
children means
they — and you—
are rarely bored
Harry Wallop
T
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with their new baby. Left: Rachel Johnson and her children
The study door
was flung open
by a screaming
toddler. Agony
Candida Crewe
W
hen I was pregnant with
my youngest I spent
many months looking
forward to my sojourn in
the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital.
I was thinking anything would be less
exhausting than looking after a couple
of boys aged three and two, even being
in labour.
As it happened, my youngest son
arrived with undue haste and I was in
and out of hospital in six hours. It felt
like a bit of a swizz, especially when I
arrived home and my beloved mother
burnt some sausages she was cooking
for supper and set off the smoke alarm.
Although the newborn slept through
the deafening siren, I broke down in
postnatal floods of tears. This was an
all too sudden hit of back-to-reality,
which I am sure the duchess, however
soon she leaves St Mary’s, will be
spared. I think I howled for an hour.
Yet I was lucky. My (now ex-)
husband was full of enthusiasm, my
mother was on hand for a day or two
and I had a charming if dozy au pair
already in situ. Even so, it wasn’t easy.
For me, having my first child when I
was 34 had been a serious shock. I
remember the sheer astonishment and
despair at no longer being able to
perform basic activities that I had
taken for granted: cleaning my teeth
before noon; going to the loo without
a diminutive companion in curious
attendance; reading a newspaper. By
the arrival of son number two, I had
adjusted a certain amount to my new
way of life so the shock of the new was
a relative breeze. Usually people find it
is a second child who derails them, but
in my case it was the first. And third.
While the labour with the third was
a stroll in the park compared with
number one, that cliché of not having
enough hands to dole out spag bol to
one child while wiping the snotty nose
of a second and breastfeeding the little
one at the same time is true; it can be
excruciatingly stressful.
The Welsh TV series Keeping Faith is
ostensibly a thriller, but incidentally
captures the strains of motherhood in
a way that almost no other television
drama has. It is directed by a woman,
natch, and the detail of a mother of
three’s juggling existence is unusually
Staff need
nurturing.
There are
times only
a parent
will do
4
1G T
Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
times2
Who’s the daddy?
Lance and I don’t
know ourselves
At 23, Tom Daley has a clutch of medals, is married
to a Hollywood screenwriter and is about to become
a father via a surrogate. He talks to Alice Thomson
T
om Daley has just
stripped down to his
swimming trunks
outside the London
Aquatic Centre for the
photographer while
men and women stare
and tourists ogle, and
now he wants something to eat. He
orders a smoked chicken, avocado and
truffle mayonnaise sandwich at a pub
at the nearby Westfield shopping
centre, and takes a large bite. “If
you are too full you can’t dive,” he
says. “I don’t know how much I burn
throwing myself off the board, but
it’s pretty exhausting.”
The 23-year-old has spent much of
the past 15 years semi-naked climbing
10m up a ladder so he can
somersault off it, hitting
the water at 35mph. “It
can really hurt: you get
bruises instantly, you can
split your skin. I swear
underwater if it goes
wrong and you see the
bubbles coming out. But
you have to come up with a
composed face and smile.”
It’s an incredible,
unforgettable smile, but the
scars on the top of his head
and on his forehead and
the brace around his leg
show how physically
demanding his sport is. “It’s
like having a car crash
every time you dive,” he
says. “I still get scared every
time I go up there.”
At 13 Daley became the youngest
gold medal-winner at the European
Championships; at 14 he was the
youngest competitor in the finals of
the Beijing Olympics; at 15 he became
Britain’s youngest world champion in
an Olympic sport; at 16 he won two
gold medals at the Commonwealth
Games and still had time for A*s and
As in his GCSEs and A levels.
Surely he can give up now. “There is
still the Olympic gold medal that
eludes me,” he says. On his forearm is
a tattoo of the five interlocking rings.
“In 2008 when I went to my first
Olympics in Beijing the tradition is you
get a tattoo, but my parents wouldn’t
let me at 14. For my 18th birthday my
mum gave me a card which said, ‘I owe
you a tattoo.’ I went straight from the
Olympics to the tattoo parlour, I didn’t
even go home.”
Daley’s 2.68 million Twitter and 1.9
million Instagram followers show that
few want him to stop yet. “First thing I
do when I wake up is check Twitter,
It’s like
having a
car crash
every time
you dive.
I still
get scared
Facebook and Instagram. You have to
have a thick skin if people post nasty
things, but 98 per cent of my feed is
very positive. There are homophobic
comments from ‘eggs’ [anonymous
Twitter users] who have no followers
or pictures, but it’s not going to put
me off.”
In the five years since he came out,
via a YouTube video that has since
had more than 12 million hits, he has
become more than a diving prodigy. In
the video he falteringly describes how
he fell in love with the Oscar-winning
screenwriter and producer Dustin
Lance Black, whom he met at a dinner
in Los Angeles. It was Daley who
made the first move, although he was
20 years younger and surrounded by
women wherever he went.
He
H slipped Black his number.
Black was soon flying
across
the Atlantic for
a
weekends.
“Even my mum
w
didn’t
have a clue,” Daley
d
says.
“We were having a
s
barbecue
and Lance was
b
making
burgers and I asked
m
her
h what she thought of
him.
She said, ‘Great, and he
h
makes
good burgers.’ So I
m
explained
we were in a
e
relationship
and she said,
r
‘Like
a gay relationship?’
‘
She
S had no idea.”
He knew he wanted to
marry
Lance and took the
m
lead.
“We’d bought a flat in
l
London.
I had the ring box
L
in
i my underwear. I got
down
on one knee and asked, but he
d
just said, ‘Hang on a second,’ and got a
ring from his bag and said, ‘I was going
to do that today.’ So I beat him to it.”
He’s still competitive. “I was worried
when I came out that I was going to be
labelled as the gay diver rather than a
great diver. Now I don’t care, it’s
forced me to be more open. The word
a lot of people are using now is queer
instead of labelling yourself as lesbian,
gay or transsexual. Queer is, like, a
better word — it doesn’t define you,
it’s questioning. People say, ‘You like
boys,’ but I’ve liked girls too. My
generation shouldn’t feel the need to
be labelled, we are too obsessed by
gender. I am not 100 per cent straight,
I’m not 100 per cent gay, I’m just queer.
My generation, I think, are more fluid.”
His father, Rob, whom he adored,
died of cancer in 2011, but would have
been relaxed about his sexuality, Daley
thinks. “I think he would be really
proud of everything I’ve done, but he
never got to see me drive a car, have
a drink with me, watch most of my
successes. He died five days after my
17th birthday. Maybe he’s still watching,
I don’t know. I sometimes wonder.”
For a while after his father’s death
and winning a bronze at the 2012
Olympics in London, for which he was
the poster boy, he floundered. But
Black, he says, has changed all that. “I
think being in a relationship has been
the best thing for a sense of happiness.
Falling in love and getting married,
having someone who supports you no
matter what. We had to live apart for a
long time because we worked in
different places, that was tough, but he
understands me, he is at the very high
end of his field and I am, so we can
rationalise each other’s bad days but
also good days.”
Five years later they still make each
other fried eggs in the shape of hearts.
“It’s great having a husband, it’s quite a
romantic marriage. I always wanted to
get married and have children even
before I met Lance. I’ve been buying
baby clothes for the last six years, it was
something that really mattered to me.”
This, he explains, was the hardest
part of a same-sex marriage. “Knowing
it meant I might not be able to have a
kid was hard. If you are in a straight
relationship it can just be a matter of a
glass of wine and a pizza on the sofa.
To want a child as a same-sex couple
is a tough process, a long process.”
But they’ve done it. They’re
expecting their first baby — a boy —
through a surrogate in June. Last
weekend their friends threw them a
surprise baby shower. “We found an
egg donor and we are the sperm
donors, we have fertilised half the eggs
the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
5
1G T
NEALE HAYNES FOR THE TIMES
Tom Daley. Left: with
his husband, Dustin
Lance Black, at their
baby shower. Above:
Black and Daley at the
2018 Writers Guild
Awards in February
Tom Daley’s Diving
Academy takes place at
the London Aquatic
Centre and 19 other
venues across the UK.
better.org.uk/tomdaley
times2
each We put in a boy embryo and a
each.
girl embryo and we don’t know whose
is whose. The next time we will do it
the other way around.”
They talk to the surrogate mother
every day. “Ours is the most amazing
woman, she is lovely and kind and
generous. The baby books are
terrifying. I’ve read up far too much,
but we are both going to take time
away from the pool and work.”
Everyone else, Daley says, has great
plans for the baby. “All our family and
friends are, like, ‘Are you going to get
him into sport or film?’ But you never
know what a child is going to be like.
We’ve never met the egg donor so we
don’t know about her. All we can do is
love the living hell out of him and
support whatever he tries . . . I suspect
he’ll be in a pool by three months.”
This, he says, was his parents’
method. “I was swimming from three.
I did judo, squash and tennis. We once
went for a local swimming session and
I saw them diving. I loved it, so went
every Saturday morning, then got
talent-scouted. It was lucky there was
a facility in Plymouth, otherwise I
would never have known. I loved
skiing, but the last time I did that was
11. I can’t horse ride either, unless
someone is holding the horse. I have
to evaluate risks. I like adrenaline. I
always thought after diving it would be
fun to try skeleton or luge, but by the
time you have finished a sport your
body has gone through so much, I
may have to chill a bit.”
Having a baby, he hopes, will
improve his diving. “It might give me
an extra drive and passion to do well.
I hope I will still be diving when the
baby is old enough to remember —
he will be two at the next Olympics.
It all depends on my body.”
Increasingly Daley is also becoming
a campaigner. “Lance’s Oscar-winning
film Milk was about a US gay activist,
and he has taught me a lot. I know I’m
a role model for young gay men, but it
wasn’t until the Commonwealth Games
I realised how much more I needed to
do. I was holding on to my medal,
having lunch with Lance and it hit me
that many of those competing here
couldn’t have a gay relationship. I am
lucky to have been born in a country
where it is at least legal to love a man.
Not that long ago even in Britain
people were beaten up for it, whereas
now I can compete, be gay and there
are no ramifications I can’t handle.
“Yet there are 37 countries in the
Commonwealth who criminalise
homosexual behaviour, who would
throw someone like me in jail. In
Uganda they want a law to put people
into prison for life for having a samesex relationship. In much of the world
I would be seen as a freak and not
even allowed to compete.”
In two weeks he is going to Russia,
which has a dismal gay rights record,
for diving’s world series. “I hope by
ggoing there, being me and competing,
I am sending a message.”
But Britain, he says, can still be
ttough. He was taken aback by the level
of vitriol when he announced he was
o
having a baby through surrogacy.
h
“When Kim Kardashian announced
she was having a baby through a
surrogate everyone was, like, ‘Isn’t that
so nice, isn’t it sweet someone is having
a baby for her?’ But when it’s a samesex couple it’s seen as disgusting and
wrong.” One newspaper headline read:
“Please don’t pretend two dads is the
new normal.” Daley adds: “The long
and short of it is that’s homophobia.”
He thinks there is no difference
being brought up by two fathers.
“There are lots of dads just as involved
as mums now. What is a normal
family? Conventional parents can
split, grandparents might help to bring
up a child, or a single woman may
desperately yearn for a child. Most
families are extended now. My mum
is so excited, she will be very involved
and is over the moon.”
Daley says that he knew he was
attracted to men as well as women
when he was quite young. “You know
that from the get-go really. When
people say you turn gay or caught the
gay, that is not something that
happens. From as early as I can
remember I knew or didn’t know
because I thought everyone felt the
same, but it was only as I got older
where I realised that other people
thought it was weird or disgusting.
“Then I thought I was the only
person in the world that liked the
same sex and that’s quite a lonely,
scary feeling, but then when you see
If you’re straight,
having a baby
can be a matter
of a glass of wine
TV shows like Will and Grace, that’s
good as you realise there are people
like you. Or when I met my first
successful gay people and thought,
‘They haven’t done too badly.’ But I
wish when I was younger there had
been more diverse people in sport to
look up to.”
Trans people, he says, need even
more support. “People who can’t
understand how anyone can be gay
find those wanting to change sex even
more threatening and think it’s
acceptable to say what they want
about them. Feeling you were born in
the wrong body is hard enough without
facing so much disgust. I hope being
part of the LGBTQ+ group at least
helps them feel part of a community.”
In sport, he concedes, the governing
bodies haven’t yet come to terms with
those who want to change sex. “It’s
hard because if you are male to female
trans you have to have a certain level
of testosterone, which is often a lot
lower than the natural female athletes.
You end up doing sport because you
love it, but you can’t easily compete. I
hope that changes. Team GB had the
most open number of LGBTQ+
athletes in the Olympics in 2016.”
When Daley’s competition days are
over, could he see himself taking up
a more active role in politics? “In the
end I want to be remembered as a
sportsman. I don’t want to be known
as the gay diver or the gay dad, but the
diver dad would be good.”
Men, you too can
learn about sex and
hair loss Hilary Rose
S
hould you be struck
down by a medical
condition that you
find scary or
embarrassing, there
are three options. The first is
to go to the doctor. The
second is to pretend it isn’t
happening, and the third is to
frighten yourself to death
googling it in the middle of
the night. Generally speaking,
women pick the first option
and men the other two. It was
this that gave Andrew Dudum
the idea for Hims.
Hims is a lifestyle and
wellness website for men
along vaguely similar lines
to Gwyneth Paltrow’s women’s
website Goop. Both have
articles about food and
holidays, moisturisers and sex.
But where Goop’s shtick is
hippy-dippy alternative
medicine, Hims is straighttalking and scientific. Where
Goop has articles on why
fermented foods matter and
sells $80 water bottles with
crystals promising to infuse
positive energy, Hims has a
team of doctors prescribing
medicines remotely next to
articles about why men should
meditate. Or as Dudum puts
it: “Hey dude, get your shit
together and take care of
this stuff.”
By “this stuff ” he means
things such as erectile
dysfunction, hair loss and
bad skin. Lots of men suffer
from them at one time or
another, he reasons, but most
are too embarrassed to talk
about it. None will kill you
and each has prescription
medicines that can help, but
only if you are prepared to
talk about them to a doctor.
According to Dudum, less
than 10 per cent of men are
— and he spotted a gap in
the market.
“We’re saying, ‘Guys, we
know you’re struggling with
these things,’ ” says Dudum,
29, on the phone from New
York. “We’re saying, ‘It’s
OK, it’s normal, and taking
care of it doesn’t make you
less masculine.’ ”
And so having read a short,
witty article about how to
choose a cologne, men can
have an online consultation
with a doctor about their
receding hair. They’ll answer
15 or 20 questions about
their medical history, maybe
upload some photos of their
scalp, talk about stress levels
and dietary habits, and finish
with a prescription for
drugs that ease their
hair loss — without
having to leave
the house.
They can
read about
where to go skiing with the
boys then get a prescription
for sildenafil to help with
their sex life — and for
significantly less than it would
cost in a high street chemist,
because Hims has no bricks
and mortar presence to
pay for.
At present the website ships
only within the US, but there
are plans to roll it out to
the UK and farther afield.
And it’s all done with a sense
of humour. “You should get
erections when you want
them,” is the Hims line on
things, “not when it’s
convenient for your penis.”
It launched last November,
expecting that 50 or 100
people a day would visit the
site. Thousands poured
through the virtual doors.
“One of the differences
between us and Goop is that
the issues we’re trying to
solve are medical issues,”
Dudum says. “These are not
homeopathic, organic or
vegan, they are medicines
that are approved by the Food
and Drug Administration.
“As a guy, my willingness
to experiment with products
is limited. Women are a lot
more comfortable exploring,
trying, testing. For men, a lot
of these issues, like hair loss,
or acne, they want stuff that
is proven to work, they want
it fast, and they don’t really
want to have to think about
it again.”
Dudum, who was brought
up in San Francisco, where
he still lives, dropped out of
a prestigious business school
on the east coast to build
start-up companies. He was
first persuaded to take care
of his appearance by his
two sisters (he is the middle
child). Wear moisturiser,
they told him. Give us your
credit card and we’ll buy you
the right stuff.
“I have these women who
loved me and pushed me to
take care of myself,” he says.
“They are ten times cooler
and more trendy and
educated than I am, and
that’s the tone that comes
through when we talk to men.
It’s very direct, very
empathetic, but blunt.
“I think men are becoming
comfortable with these
issues and getting more
proactive about their health.
Hims is a lifestyle brand
about being well. We’re
saying, ‘Listen, what you’re
struggling with is entirely
normal. Not taking care of
it is not normal. And here are
five museums you should
explore in your city, and ten
great cocktails.’ ”
forhims.com
6
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Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
body&soul
Midlife
Sepsis is the illness of which I am
most terrified. So learn the ‘sepsis
six’ symptoms to look out for
Dr Mark Porter
W
hat are you most
scared of? Cancer?
Dementia? Motor
neurone disease?
A heart attack? All
feature high on most people’s lists of
nasty diseases, but it is sepsis (blood
poisoning) that tops mine. It may have
a comparatively low profile, but sepsis
is common. At least ten people across
the UK are likely to die from it today,
with many more surviving it, but left
maimed or disabled.
The human stories behind the cold
statistics explain why I dread sepsis so
much. At least three cases have made
the headlines over the past fortnight
alone: a man who lost his legs and part
of his face after being scratched by a
dog; a young mother who died from a
skin infection around her ankle; and a
grandmother who is likely to lose her
hands and legs after developing sepsis
from a tiny cut on her finger.
“Time is of the essence” is an
oft-used cliché in medicine, but in
sepsis it really can mean the difference
between life and death. Caught early,
the outcome is likely to be good.
Caught late and it is bleak. And this is
where you come in, by making sure
Sepsis: the numbers
There is some uncertainty about just
how common sepsis is. Official
figures suggest that there are about
160,000 cases every year in the UK,
leading to about 40,000 deaths.
However, a recent independent study
commissioned by the UK Sepsis
Trust suggests that the total figure
could be closer to 250,000 cases,
with deaths and long-term
complications (often exacerbated by
delayed diagnosis) costing the UK
economy nearly £16 billion a year.
that you know the warning signs of
sepsis and, just as importantly, by
encouraging those looking after you
to check for it.
Sepsis is caused by a combination
of infection and the body’s immune
response to attack, which, rather than
helping to eliminate the invader, can
sometimes trigger a cascade reaction
leading to shock, multiple organ
failure and death. Sepsis typically
develops after serious bacterial
infections such as pneumonia or
meningitis, but it can complicate
seemingly mundane ones too. The
trick is not to focus solely on the
triggering condition, but to consider
the individual as a whole. They might
just have a cut on their leg, or
“cystitis”, but if they are showing signs
of serious infection then they should
be treated with the same urgency as a
barn-door case of meningitis. So what
should you look for?
In adults, think SEPSIS: Slurred
speech or confusion. Extreme shivering
or muscle aches. Passing no urine in a
day. Severe breathlessness. “I feel like I
might die.” Skin mottled or discoloured
or a reddish-purplish rash that doesn’t
blanch with pressure (use the side of
a glass). If any of these apply, seek
medical help urgently and make sure
you ask: “Could it be sepsis?”
In children, check for fast breathing.
Normal ranges vary with age and
there is no need to count; as a parent
you will know immediately if your
child’s respiratory rate is higher than
normal simply by looking.
Have they had a convulsion/seizure?
Does their skin look mottled, pale or
blueish? Do they, or their extremities,
feel abnormally cold to touch? Do
they have a non-blanching rash? Are
they very lethargic or difficult to
wake? If so, dial 999 and ask: “Could
it be sepsis?”
In younger children (under five)
other early warning signs may include
refusing to feed, repeated vomiting
and not passing urine (a wet nappy)
for 12 hours. And even if these three
are present in isolation, without any
of the signs above, call 111 or your GP
and ask: “Could it be sepsis?”
Most suspected cases turn out
to be much less serious, but the
combination of vigilance on your
part and the mention of sepsis to
the paramedic/nurse/doctor can only
facilitate earlier diagnosis. Cases will
still slip through the net, but the UK
Sepsis Trust believes that earlier
intervention with therapies such as
antibiotics, intravenous fluids and
oxygen could save about 10,000 lives
a year in the UK and dramatically
improve the outlook for the many
thousands who survive.
We have made huge progress during
the three decades that I have been a
doctor. When I qualified about three
quarters of patients with sepsis died.
Today that statistic has been turned
on its head and three quarters are
expected to survive, but there is still
room for improvement.
For more information visit
sepsistrust.org
Mont Blanc, Lake Geneva
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QA
I have developed
a dark brown
streak in my big
toenail — it
almost looks as
if I have painted
it with wood
stain. Any ideas?
This warrants a GP
appointment. There are
a number of possible
causes, including fungal
infection, but a dark
streak like the one you
describe can be a sign
of a melanoma growing
under the nail. This
type of subungual
melanoma typically
causes a brownishblack coloured band
that runs the length of
the nail that, with time,
becomes wider at the
cuticle end.
Such melanomas are
rare, accounting for
only 1 in 100 cases of
this type of cancer. If
diagnosed very early
on, cure rates approach
90 per cent; in cases
picked up late they are
closer to 10 per cent. So
make that appointment.
If you have a health
problem, email
drmarkporter
@thetimes.co.uk
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Guided walking tour of
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Visit the superbly preserved
castle, Château de Chillon
and experience the Mont
Blanc Tunnel under
the Alps to Italy
Pollen allergies are
on the increase in
middle age. Here’s
what to do about
it, says Peta Bee
S
pring and its blossomladen offerings promise
warmer days and barbecue
weather, but there is a
flipside to the seasonal
shift in temperature. A
sneeze or a wheeze signals
the start of months of
misery for the estimated 18 million
Britons with hay fever — and those
symptoms are also taking a growing
number of first-time adult sufferers by
surprise. You can count yourself lucky
to have made it to middle age without
the annual agony of itchy red eyes and
a runny nose, but don’t necessarily
assume that it will last.
Age offers no protection against
allergic rhinitis, to give hay fever
its medical name, and I know of at
least five friends or colleagues in
their forties and fifties who have
suddenly and inexplicably found
themselves sneezing and itchy-eyed
over the past ten days. They are part
of an explosion of adults who are
experiencing an allergic reaction to
pollen, or at least a noticeable one,
for the first time.
According to Allergy UK, up to
30 per cent of adults are affected by
hay fever, some having had it since
childhood, but there’s a growing
number who are belatedly suffering
from it after getting away scot-free
for decades. In 2011 the business
information research group
Datamonitor reported that 12.5
million people older than 20 (and
10 million of those over 35) reported
having the condition, but that figure
was predicted to rise to 13.1 million
adults by 2020.
hamonix
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the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
7
1G T
body&soul
hay fever: rise of the silver sneezer
GETTY IMAGES
8 ways to
protect
yourself
1
Check daily pollen
forecasts — the Met
Office publishes
them. Stay indoors as
much as possible when
levels are high and
keep windows closed
when driving (rain
washes away pollen, so
levels should be lower
after a downpour).
2
When pollen levels
are high, shower
and wash your hair
when you get home to
remove pollen traces.
Doing this before bed
reduces the risk of
pollen from your hair
settling on your pillow.
5
Don’t hang
washing outside
to dry on
days when
there is a high
pollen count.
6
Keep
windows and
doors of
rooms closed. After
20 minutes most of
the pollen in the room
will have settled and
you will be breathing
pollen-free air.
7
Holiday by the
coast. Many inland
and urban sufferers
find that symptoms
disappear at the coast
because the sea breezes
clear the air of pollen.
3
4
Pollen settles on
surfaces, so cover
beds and desks
when not using them.
Brush or wash
your cat or dog.
Pets can carry a lot
of pollen in their fur.
“We are seeing more and more
allergic individuals of all ages, and
someone suddenly getting symptoms
of hay fever is not unusual,” says
Amena Warner, the head of clinical
services at Allergy UK. It’s likely,
Warner says, that new, older sufferers
have long had an allergy to pollen
without realising it. A late onslaught of
symptoms can be linked to adults
being less exposed to seasonal
allergens than they were as children,
with their immune systems treating
pollen as a toxic agent when it is
encountered. “People tend to have a
tolerance threshold and only realise
they have an allergy to it when there’s
a very high pollen count,” Warner
says. In other words, your body’s
ability to tolerate allergens can change
almost abruptly, but with sometimes
devastating effect.
Grass pollen, the most common
trigger, affects 90 per cent of sufferers
mostly in June, July and August, but
the condition can also be triggered by
trees, weeds and fungal spores at
different times of the spring and
summer. About a quarter of hay fever
sufferers are allergic to pollen from the
birch tree and the present rush of
acute symptoms can be linked to the
long, cool and wet winter being
abruptly halted by last week’s hot spell.
The recent sudden change in
weather caused a “pollen bomb”,
according to Carsten Ambelas Skjoth,
a professor in atmospheric science at
the University of Worcester’s National
Pollen and Aerobiology Research Unit.
A single birch catkin can produce
more than one million pollen grains,
which are spread on the warm wind
and travel long distances, particularly
from France, where levels of birch
pollen have reached a record high this
year. “Some of these fly to England
and increase the already high
concentrations caused by local trees,”
Skjoth says. “The hot weather last
week sped up the development of the
pollen season at some UK locations so
that a large fraction of the total pollen
for the season was released in just a
few days, resulting in very high
concentrations.”
Prolific planting of birch trees, next
to car parks and in parks, in recent
People find
their sleep, sex
lives and work
are affected
years means that levels of this pollen
are spiralling annually. “There has
been a drive to plant more birch trees
in urban areas, and the birch is a tree
that tries to get its pollen out very
thick and fast in the right conditions,”
Warner says. “Pollen of any sort is
virtually indestructible and can only
be washed away by rain.” In a dry
spell, birch and other pollen becomes
prolific and the pollen remains
airborne for as long as the warm
weather continues.
It is these pollen peaks, combined
with environmental conditions such as
pollution, including cigarette smoke or
car exhaust fumes, that help to create
the perfect storm for hay fever. “A
changing landscape and climate
change can both increase local pollen
production, hence the rising amount
in the air,” Skjoth says. Little wonder
so many people in their thirties, forties
and fifties are experiencing the redeyed and snotty-nosed reaction for the
first time. “In cities and built-up areas
a combination of pollution and highrise buildings means pollen has no
means of escape,” Warner says. “It is
all contributing to more adults
becoming sensitised to it later in life.”
Skjoth’s research unit has forecast
that birch pollen concentrations will
drop over the next week, bringing
respite to some. Yet the hay fever
season is painfully — and increasingly
— drawn out and over the coming
months many will react to other
pollen sources for the first time. “Later
we expect the oak pollen season and
then grasses,” Skjoth says. “After the
grasses we will get weeds and fungal
spores, with the amount for each
depending on the weather at the time.”
As temperatures have risen in the
UK over the past few decades, so
the grass pollen season has extended.
It used to finish in July, but now
tends to last until the first or second
week of August. There has also been
a trend in the past ten years for the
effects of grass pollen to become
more severe. In August hay fever
symptoms are most probably linked
8
Reduce alcohol
intake. Some
studies have
shown that
substances in
alcoholic drinks can
make hay fever worse.
Beer and wine
contain histamine,
produced by yeast and
bacteria during the
fermentation process,
which triggers many
allergy symptoms.
They also contain
sulphites, another
group of compounds
that can trigger
allergy-like
symptoms. Clear
spirits, such as gin
and vodka, have a
lower histamine
content, but if
symptoms are
severe, it’s probably
best to avoid
alcohol altogether.
to weeds such as nettle and dock, and
in autumn fungal spores are likely to
be the predominant cause.
Most adult-onset hay fever sufferers
are taken aback at how debilitating
it can be. “There’s a psychological as
well as physical impact,” Warner
says. “People find everything from
their sleep, sex lives and work are
affected by the condition.” Surveys
by Allergy UK reveal that 90 per cent
of sufferers say their hay fever affects
concentration levels and 87 per cent
that it prevents them from sleeping
well. As a consequence, a potential
14.5 million people could be
underperforming at work because of
their seasonal allergy, the charity says.
So what should you do if you are
affected by hay fever for the first time?
Rule number one is not to ignore it.
Your first stop should be the
pharmacy, where you can buy allergen
barrier balms that are applied on the
outside of the nose to catch pollen.
“There are nasal saline preparations
that wash out the nose and longacting, non-sedating antihistamines
that can also help,” Warner says. “In
more serious cases your GP might
prescribe nasal steroid sprays that
have an anti-inflammatory effect or
even a course of immunotherapy
drops or injections, which are a longterm treatment with great results.”
Don’t think of it as just a bout of the
sniffles that will go away of its own
accord. “Get help. Actively treat it,”
Warner says. “Don’t let it ruin the
months ahead.”
allergyuk.org
8
1G T
Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
arts
The British
choir who blew
the ceiling off
The Pope asked the Sixteen and the Britten Sinfonia
to the Sistine Chapel to play James MacMillan’s
modern choral classic, reports Richard Morrison
D
oubtless many
extraordinary events
have happened in the
Sistine Chapel in
the half-millennium
since Michelangelo
painted its glorious,
multifaceted ceiling
and the huge, terrifying depiction of
The Last Judgment behind the altar.
Yet it’s hard to imagine those
astounding visual evocations of God’s
relationship with humanity being
more fittingly complemented by music
than they were on Sunday evening.
Remarkably, too, the music wasn’t
one of the great Renaissance
masterpieces from Michelangelo’s own
century. It was a composition from our
own time. The Scottish composer
James MacMillan wrote his hour-long
Stabat Mater two years ago. It was an
immediate triumph in the UK,
acclaimed by critics and audiences
alike, and acclaimed all over again
when it was issued last year as a
recording. On Sunday its original
performers — the Sixteen Choir and
the Britten Sinfonia, conducted by
Harry Christophers — did the musical
equivalent of taking coals to
Newcastle. They brought this setting
of one of the greatest Catholic hymns
to the heart of the Vatican in Rome.
And, it seemed, all of cosmopolitan
Christendom turned out to hear it,
with four red-hatted cardinals and
as many purple-sashed bishops sitting
on the front row, and hundreds of
clerics and Catholics from all over
the globe arrayed behind. Vatican
TV broadcast the concert, and for the
first time in history an event in the
Sistine Chapel was streamed live —
by Classic FM in Britain.
That this remarkable accolade
was given to British musicians
and a British composer (albeit
a famously fervent Roman
Catholic one) was not
entirely due to the power of
MacMillan’s music. There
were also months of deft
ecclesiastical string-pulling
behind the scenes, primarily
by Cardinal Vincent Nichols,
the Archbishop of
Westminster.
He attended the Stabat
Mater’s premiere at the
Barbican in London in 2016, and
was so moved by it that, when the
CD came out, he sent it to Pope
Francis. The Holy Father, one
gathers, gave it a spin and was
impressed. An epic exchange of
correspondence followed — the
bureaucratic workings of the Vatican
have a divine mystery all their own —
but the result was that a performance
was arranged for a Sunday, when the
Sistine Chapel (where cardinals gather
to choose a new pope) is closed to
tourists, and therefore no commercial
revenue would be lost.
Who, though, footed the six-figure
bill for 40 top British musicians to
spend the weekend rehearsing and
performing in Rome? The answer is
that it was the same organisation that
commissioned MacMillan to write the
Stabat Mater. Seventeen years ago the
American-born British investment
banker and philanthropist John
Studzinski established his Genesis
Foundation, primarily to support
young artistic talents and their
mentors, but also, as the foundation’s
name suggests, to commission new
pieces of sacred music. Since then
Studzinski (himself a Roman Catholic
and now a papal knight) must have
poured millions into his cultural
projects, as well as immersing himself
in humanitarian causes, notably to
combat human trafficking and
modern-day slavery.
His sacred-music commissions now
run to more than 20, and MacMillan
has written several of them. None,
however, has a stranger origin than
the Stabat Mater. Studzinski heard
Rossini’s operatic, 19th-century setting
of the 13th-century Latin poem —
describing the feelings of Mary as she
watched Jesus die on the cross — and
decided, not unreasonably, that it was
a totally inadequate musical response
to the intense anguish of the text. He
asked Christophers if anyone had
written a good modern setting of
the poem’s 20 rhyming stanzas,
and Christophers replied that he
didn’t know of one since classic
settings composed by Francis
Poulenc, Arvo Part and Karol
Szymanowski in the 20th century.
So Studzinski asked MacMillan
to undertake the task. The
commission came at a time
when the composer was gong
through a period of intense family
suffering. His daughter’s child,
Sara Maria, had been born with
a congenital brain condition, meaning
that she couldn’t see or walk and
was subject to epilepsy.
At the time that MacMillan began
work on the Stabat Mater, Sara Maria
was still alive, but MacMillan has
spoken of his feeling that the sadness
and pain evident in the music may
have stemmed from his realisation,
“deep down”, that his granddaughter
had but a short time to live. She died
in January 2016, just short of her
sixth birthday and nine months
before the Stabat Mater’s premiere.
Whether or not his piece took
on the qualities of a requiem, there
MacMillan’s
choral demands
sent tingles
down the spine
can be no doubt that its text —
describing a parent watching her child
suffer and die — acquired a deeply
personal significance for the composer.
“It is the ultimate spiritual
Kindertotenlieder,” MacMillan says,
referring to Mahler’s Songs on the
Death of Children. However, he also
believes the text has a universal
significance. “Mary’s grief at the foot
of the cross is recognisable to
thousands, hundreds of thousands of
parents around the world, especially
today in time of war and refugee crisis.”
For the theologically minded — and
there were plenty of those present
on Sunday — this interpretation
carried a particular resonance in the
Sistine Chapel, where Michelangelo’s
The Last Judgment depicts Mary sitting
next to Jesus, pleading for pity on
behalf of humanity.
Yet for me the most inspirational
effect of hearing this modern sacred
masterpiece performed in this
jaw-dropping space was the impact
it had on the musicians. As if
possessed across the centuries by the
spirit of Michelangelo’s colossal,
vividly coloured figures, the Sixteen
and the Britten Sinfonia produced one
of those performances during which
you can hardly breathe for fear of
missing a nuance of expression.
MacMillan’s style in this work
veers in extraordinary directions.
There are passages, especially
featuring the soaring solo violin of
Thomas Gould, where he seems
to be evoking the romantic modes
of Vaughan Williams and Herbert
Howells. Elsewhere, however, the
sheer violence of the Crucifixion
was depicted in savage, almost
avant-garde writing for the strings.
That was utterly gripping. So was
the choir’s contribution. Even by the
the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
9
1G T
ADRIAN MYERS
arts
MANUEL HARLAN
Harry Potter on Broadway:
what the critics are saying
It has cost $68.5 million (about £48.9
million) to bring the West End smash
hit Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
to New York, including the $33 million
it cost to transform its Broadway
venue, the Lyric Theatre. It looks like
it’s going to be worth it. Our critic,
Ann Treneman, found the magic “well
beyond abracadabra levels”, and the
stagecraft “out of this world, literally”.
But would American critics agree
about this very British import?
“This inspired team bends time to
its will with an imagination and
discipline that leave room for nary
a glitch, making five hours of
performance pass in a wizardly wink
of an eye . . . Cursed Child becomes
the new gold standard for fantasy
franchise entertainment on
Broadway.” Ben Brantley, The New
York Times
“Hooray! With Harry Potter and the
Cursed Child, the Boy Who Lived has
finally come to Broadway, bringing
enchantment to a world that could
really use a little magic right now.”
Marilyn Stasio, Variety
Sixteen’s world-class standards, the
power and passion with which
the 26 professional singers tackled
MacMillan’s ferocious choral
demands — from austere plainsong
to stratospheric solos, and from
whispers and chordal clusters to
ravishing close harmonies — sent
tingles down the spine.
I was sitting next to the former
Argentine ambassador to the
UK who now represents his
country at the Vatican. “That choir
is simply magnificent,” he said
at the end, in a tone that suggested “at
least you Brits get something right”.
Studzinski has already
commissioned an even bigger work
from MacMillan. It will be his Fifth
Symphony: a big choral work, which,
he says, will celebrate the power
of the Holy Spirit, and which will
be premiered to open the Edinburgh
Festival in 2019. That project may
prove a little too large for the Sistine
Chapel. Perhaps the Pope will make
St Peter’s Basilica available.
A video of the Sistine Chapel
performance is available free
for one month on classicfm.com
The Vatican premiere
of James MacMillan’s
Stabat Mater in
the Sistine Chapel
performed on Sunday
by the Sixteen and
Britten Sinfonia
conducted by
Harry Christophers,
far left
“Anyone still ready to dismiss
Harry Potter and the Cursed
Child as a cynical brand
extension, or a theme-park
ride on stage, clearly hasn’t
experienced the thrilling
theatricality, the pulsepounding storytelling
vitality and the
JK Rowling. Top: Poppy
Miller as Ginny and
Jamie Parker as Harry
unexpected emotional richness of this
unmissable two-part production. The
ecstatic hype that accompanies the
smash London import to Broadway is
amply justified, and then some.” David
Rooney, The Hollywood Reporter
“Though the script is tinny in parts,
and the production often feels rushed
despite its luxurious length, those
problems are dimmed by the giddy
magnificence of its design. And, yes, by
the evocative way the play grapples
with the past, intertwining itself with
the treasured canon, coaxing out of us
a heady mix of nostalgia and awe.”
Richard Lawson, Vanity Fair
“The play’s single biggest asset is
[Anthony] Boyle’s geeky Scorpius
[Malfoy], who has no volume control
but a pitch-perfect knack for landing a
punchline . . . The clunky dialogue
could have used some transfiguration
because Tennessee Williams this isn’t
— it’s barely Indiana Jones. But
nobody turns to Harry Potter for
Oscar Wildean wit. If you’re after
escape, laughter and a good cry,
Cursed Child delivers.” Johnny
Oleksinski, New York Post
“It’s not a cheap time to be
a Harry Potter fan, but it
is an exciting one . . . The Cursed
Child is a remarkable and
fitting addition to the Potter
canon.” Sara Holdren,
New York Magazine/Vulture
“Interveno
ticketmasterus!”
Peter Marks, The
Washington Post
Entertainments
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1G T
Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
television & radio
Camilla’s PR machine lays it on with a shovel
MAX MUMBY/INDIGO/GETTY IMAGES
Carol
Midgley
TV review
The Real Camilla
ITV
{{{((
Westworld
Sky Atlantic
{{{{(
T
here’s something going
on with the royals. A new
thinking, a charm campaign,
almost a “love us” neediness.
First the Queen gives two
unprecedented TV interviews and
now we find that for the past year
the Duchesss of Cornwall, who used
to say nothing, has been helping
with an ITV documentary about
herself in which she was described as
“wonderful”, “remarkable” and “the
best listener in the world” — and that
was just by the Prince of Wales.
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Curious Under
the Stars
Radio 4, 10.45am
There are so many reasons
why this drama shouldn’t
be good. It’s a Radio 4
drama, for one thing, and
furthermore it is about
semi-supernatural goingson in a Welsh pub. A brace
of facts that hint that it’s
time to tell Alexa to switch
over to Radio 2, surely?
Well, no: this has great
charm. The script is elegant,
it’s well acted and it doesn’t
sound as if it has been
recorded in a broom
cupboard. It’s no surprise
that the producer of this,
James Robinson, also
produced the chart-topping
and excellent thriller
Tracks. Lovely fun.
Outlook
World Service, 12.06pm
One June morning in 2002
14-year-old Elizabeth Smart
woke to find a man holding
a knife at her throat. “I have
a knife to your neck,” he
told her. “Get out of bed,
or I’ll kill you and your
family.” He took her from
her home and held her
captive for nine months,
raping her, starving her
and torturing her. Here
Smart talks to Joe Pascal
about what she went
through and her struggle
with forgiveness.
Joanna Lumley, Gyles Brandreth,
Esther Rantzen and others lined up to
sing her praises in The Real Camilla:
HRH the Duchess of Cornwall and
lament that she has been villainised
by the “red tops” (no one mentioned
Tom Bower’s recent book in which
he claims she demanded to travel
by private jet and complained that a
yacht chartered by Charles was too
small). We saw her “low-key” charity
work (not so low-key now), while a
member of the public stepped forward
to say she had “the most beautiful blue
eyes I have ever seen”. Blimey.
It’s obvious that the Palace will
want to increase public approval of
Camilla before Charles becomes king
(a poll last year found that two thirds
of the public opposed her becoming
queen, although that was near the
20th anniversary of Diana’s death,
so not the best timing). But let’s not
lay it on with a shovel.
The love-bombing was in fact quite
unnecessary. All the viewer needed
was the one-minute contribution from
Paul O’Grady. When the TV presenter
said that she had taken five dogs from
Battersea Dogs and Cats Home, of
which she is patron, nothing further
was required. The British public will
forgive her anything now. Especially
when she told how one of her Jack
Russells had been left tied to the
central reservation of a motorway
by some utter scumbag bastard (my
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg James
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James 7.00 Annie
Mac 9.00 The 8th with Dev 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Annie Nightingale 3.00
Movies That Made Me: Emma Stone and Ben
Affleck 4.00 Radio 1’s Early Breakfast Show
with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Amol Rajan 7.00 Jamie Cullum 8.00 Jo
Whiley 10.00 Jeremy Vine: Agony Uncle.
Spoof phone-in 10.30 Josh Widdicombe Will
Make Your Life Better. Ideas to improve
make the world a better place 11.00 Nigel
Ogden: The Organist Entertains 11.30 Listen
to the Band 12.00 Sounds of the 80s (r)
2.00am Radio 2’s Folk Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: 90s Hits 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Wednesday Workout 5.00 Nicki Chapman
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Presented by Petroc Trelawny
9.00 Essential Classics
The television executive Sir Peter Bazalgette
talks to Suzy Klein about his inspirations
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Strozzi (1619-1677)
Donald Macleod explores the life and music
of the composer. Strozzi (Amore è bandito,
Op 6 No 7; Lamento — Su’l Rodano severo,
Op 3 No 3; Nascente Maria, Op 5 No 12; Che
si può fare, Op 8 No 6; Godere e tacere, Op 1
No 9; Silentio nocivo, Op 1 No 6; and Vecchio
amante che rende la piazza, Op 1 No 20) (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Sarah Walker presents the first of four
concerts of songs by Tchaikovsky and his
influences from last Saturday’s BBC Radio 3
Big Chamber Day at Saffron Hall in Essex.
The event, curated by the pianist Anna
Tilbrook, features the soprano Anush
Hovhannisyan, the mezzo Caitlin Hulcup, the
tenor Alessandro Fisher and the
bass-baritone Ashley Riches. This concert is
Tchaikovsky and his Influences,
with music by Beethoven, Schumann and
Tchaikovsky’s favourite composer Mozart as
well as by Tchaikovsky himself
Purple patch: stars lined up to praise the Duchess of Cornwall
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Georgia Mann continues a week of
performances by the BBC Scottish Symphony
Orchestra. Today’s programme begins with a
concert centred around Nielsen. The soprano
Denise Beck and the Danish String Quartet
join the strings of the orchestra for a
sequence of songs and miniatures before the
composer’s Symphony No 3, with the
violinist Henning Kraggerud, the baritone
Benjamin Appl and the conductor Thomas
Dausgaard. Plus, Clark Rundell conducts the
saxophonist Tommy Smith in Rachmaninov,
and Simon Callaghan is the soloist in a new
recording of the Piano Concerto by Bernhard
Scholz, conducted by Ben Gernon. Nielsen
(Polka in A; Jens Vejmand; Tit er jeg glad;
Forunderligt at sige; Som en rejselysten
flåde; Violin Concerto, Op 33; and Symphony
No 3, Op 27 — Sinfonia espansiva); Trad
(Fem får, fire geder; Minuet nr 60; and
Dronningens Cotillion); Rachmaninov
(Vocalise, Op 34 No 14); and Scholz
(Piano Concerto in B, Op 57)
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
Georgia Mann presents highlights from this
year’s Young Musician brass finalists
5.00 In Tune
Katie Derham with a lively mix of chat, arts
news and live performance
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An non-stop mix of music, featuring old
favourites together with lesser-known gems
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
The BBC Cardiff Singer of the World 2017
finalist Louise Alder and the pianist Joseph
Middleton give a concert of songs at the
Leeds Lieder Festival, recorded at The Venue
at the Leeds College of Music. R Strauss
(Waldseligkeit; Ständchen; Breit über mein
Haupt; Das Rosenband; Heimliche
Aufforderung; and Meinem Kinde); Liszt
(Three Petrarch Sonnets); Debussy (Ariettes
oubliées); Britten (On This Island); and Hahn
(Fêtes galantes; Si mes vers; Le printemps;
and L’heure exquise)
10.00 Free Thinking
The photographer Mika Ninagawa talks to
Christopher Harding, and Mark Pendleton
discusses the new novel Seventeen by Hideo
Yokoyama, translated by Louise Heal Kawai
10.45 The Essay: Dark Blossoms
Exploring two starkly contrasting ideals of
“family” in turn-of-20th-century Japan
11.00 Late Junction
Nick Luscombe invites us on a late-night
soundwalk through the neighbourhood of
Kabukicho in Tokyo, an entertainment district
also known as “Sleepless Town”
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
With John Humphrys and Martha Kearney
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 The Long View
Examining the expulsion of Russian
delegates. Last in the series
9.30 Nature’s Great Invaders
The ring-necked parakeet (4/5) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Sharp — The Women Who Made
an Art of Having an Opinion
By Michelle Dean, abridged by Sara Davies. A
profile of the novelist Mary McCarthy (2/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews. Including at
10.45 the 15 Minute Drama: Curious Under
the Stars. See Radio Choice (2/20)
11.00 The Second Genome
Examining the microbes that drive our
metabolism and health. Last in the series
11.30 The Voices of
Sisters Rachel and Becky Unthank reflect on
each other’s voice. Last in the series
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Sarah Daniels. On this day in 1918, the
Reverend Sir Douglas Scott was given 18
months hard labour for bigamy
12.15 Call You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
Presented by Sarah Montague
1.45 Chinese Characters
A profile of Robert Hart who became a
servant of the Chinese emperors (12/20)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Mythos
By Julian Simpson. In this paranormal drama,
Agent Lairre investigates a rise in incidents
of death caused by heart failure in a small
village in Essex. With Nicola Walker (1/3)
3.00 The Kitchen Cabinet
From Burton-on-Trent (3/6) (r)
3.30 Costing the Earth
Peter Gibbs reports on the biggest dam
removal project in Europe
4.00 Word of Mouth
The words used to describe emotions (3/7)
4.30 Great Lives
Professor Laura Serrant chooses the life of
the black activist and poet Audre Lorde
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
words not Camilla’s, although I bet
she’s called them worse). “Will the
duchess ever escape the ghost of a
princess?” asked the narrator. Well,
she’s having a damn good try.
Westworld is back with a buffet
of gore, an overload of philosophical
questions and an unexpected fullfrontal of Lee Sizemore’s todger. The
hosts have rebelled against oppression
and, as season two began, their two
most magnificent women were in
charge — Dolores (Evan Rachel
Wood) and Maeve (Thandie Newton).
Maeve made Lee, the arrogant head
of the Narrative Department, strip off
while the camera lingered for an
unnecessarily long time on his penis,
thus completing his humiliation and
hammering home the new world order.
This episode was at times
meandering, at times hyper-focused.
Bernard (Jeffrey Wright) was managing
to avoid being outed as an android and
the humans were discovering that the
pleasure-without-consequence gig is
very much over, as they felt nooses
round their necks and bullets in their
backs. The scene in which Dolores on
horseback shot people as they ran for
their lives in slow-mo to Scott Joplin’s
The Entertainer was magnificent. “You
created us, this place, to be prisoners
to your own desires,” she said. “Now
you’re prisoners of mine.” The
reckoning is here. Line your stomachs.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Love in Recovery
By Pete Jackson. The group leaves to take
Andy to his mum’s wake (6/6) (r)
7.00 The Archers
Clarrie attempts to keep the peace
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Curious Under the Stars (2/20) (r)
8.00 Too Young to Veil?
A report on the growing number of young
girls wearing the hijab in the UK
8.40 In Touch
News for blind or partially sighted people
9.00 All in the Mind
Featuring the first of the nine finalists for
the All in the Mind Awards 2018. We hear
from Helen who nominated Sarah’s Runners,
a running group in Tunbridge Wells (1/10)
9.30 The Long View
Examining the expulsion of Russian
delegates. Last in the series (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
Presented by Ritula Shah
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Nikesh Shukla
— The One Who Wrote Destiny
By Nikesh Shukla. The moving story of three
generations of one family. This time, Mukesh
goes to see Raks’ Edinburgh show (7/10)
11.00 Richard Marsh: Cardboard Heart
Will and the gang help organise a stag do to
remember — in more ways than one (3/4) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Political round-up
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week: Sharp —
The Women Who Made an Art of
Having an Opinion (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Ken Dodd Show 8.30 The Men
from the Ministry 9.00 The News Quiz Extra
9.45 Helen Keen’s It Is Rocket Science 10.00
The Idiot 11.00 Grounded 11.15 Forest Tales
12.00 The Ken Dodd Show 12.30pm The
Men from the Ministry 1.00 Rogue Justice
1.30 Grasshead Racers 2.00 Expo 58 2.15
Shakespeare’s Restless World 2.30 Good
News 2.45 Catch Me If You Can 3.00 The
Idiot 4.00 It’s Not What You Know 4.30 The
Wordsmiths at Gorsemere 5.00 Stockport,
So Good They Named It Once 5.30 Love in
Recovery 6.00 The Man Who Was Thursday
6.30 Pioneers 7.00 The Ken Dodd Show.
Shocks, suggestions, banjos and sackings are
tickling Doddy 7.30 The Men from the
Ministry. Comedy with Richard Murdoch
8.00 Rogue Justice. Thriller by Geoffrey
Household. Originally broadcast in 2009 8.30
Grasshead Racers. Dorset’s annual
lawnmower race. From 2004 9.00 Grounded.
The Silt Path by Togara Muzanenhamo 9.15
Forest Tales. Tristan and Iselda by Colin
Haydn Evans. From 1996 10.00 Comedy Club:
Love in Recovery. By Pete Jackson 10.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The
Secondary Phase. The intrepid travellers talk
to old enemies. Originally broadcast in 1980
11.00 ElvenQuest. Comedy with Darren Boyd
11.30 The Lawrence Sweeney Mix
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show with Anna Foster 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 6.30 5
Live Sport 7.45 5 Live Sport: Champions
League Football 2017-18 — Liverpool v AS
Roma 10.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Football
Social 10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All
Night 5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Ray Parlour 10.00 Jim White, Micky
Gray and Bob Mills 1.00pm Rushden and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe
12.00 6 Music Recommends 1.00am Classic
Albums 2.00 Classic Scottish Albums 2.30
6 Music Live Hour. Concerts and sessions
3.30 6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00
The Full Works Concert. Over the next four
nights, the station celebrates the best
recordings of 2018. Jane Jones presents.
Grieg (Piano Concerto in A minor, Op 16);
Albéniz (Asturias); Danzi (Cello Concerto in E
minor); Stopford (Ave Maris Stella); Mozart
(Piano Concerto No.27 in B-flat); and Wagner
(Entrance of the Gods into Valhalla) 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
11
1G T
MARC BRENNER
artsfirst night
Pop
Alexis Taylor
Omeara, SE1
George Caple and
Liam Tobin in A
Clockwork Orange
{{{((
R
esembling something
between a buzzsaw and a
whale cry, the howling synth
that interjected Alexis
Taylor’s delicate, choirboy
arpeggio during Dreaming of Another
Life signalled something different.
A sense of the avant-garde
spearheaded the abrupt shifts between
discordant Coltrane jazz, Nineties acid
house beats, prog-rock guitar solos
and featherweight piano balladry. The
Hot Chip singer’s underlying creativity
was palpable throughout the
performance; unfortunately the
product appeared rather slapdash.
Earlier solo releases of Rubbed Out
(2008) and Piano (2016) made for
fairly straight singer-songwriter
material, but on Taylor’s new solo
album, Beautiful Thing, the impact of
the producer Tim Goldsworthy,
co-founder of the dance-punk record
label DFA Records, is glaring. Here,
the title track combined writhing
electronica, ghoulish voice effects and
bouncing keyboards and came closest
to the music of Hot Chip.
That is, apart from when Taylor
covered his other band’s late-night
singalong White Wine and Fried
Chicken, which immediately felt more
at ease than what had gone before.
But then came Oh Baby, evoking
Eighties futurism with its zany bleeps,
a bluesy step and an off-kilter Paul
McCartney impression, followed by
the woozy, expansive lament of
Roll on Blank Tapes.
A Hit Song and its pared-back piano
was a tender throwback to Taylor’s
more introspective work after the
suicide of his friend and longtime
collaborator Vince Sipprell in 2015.
Yet it wasn’t long until Taylor was
chanting “let’s party” over a Daft
Punk-esque strut and flamboyant
guitar solos. It was a sonic bric-a-brac
that never quite fell into place, for all
the imaginative blending of genres and
quality musicianship that was on show.
Peter Yeung
World music
Sonorama!
Barbican
{{(((
I
t looked intriguing on paper.
Camilo Lara had a hand in Coco,
the Pixar film that carried off the
award for best animated feature at
this year’s Oscars ceremony, so
the Mexican electronica artist and
producer might have seemed a shrewd
choice for a celebration of Latin
American composers in Hollywood.
Sadly, it didn’t turn out that way.
This opening night of the La Linea
Latin music festival had colourful, if
repetitive, Old Grey Whistle Test-style
film clips projected on a screen behind
the band. Yet the rock arrangements
themselves, full of workaday surf
guitar riffs, were unrelentingly
monochrome.
Lara was centre-stage, hunched over
a tiny keyboard while horn players
from the Hackney Colliery Band
added a modicum of spice. Throw in
a sound mix that swamped the guest
singers, the Brazilian-born Nina
This orange is
deliriously dark
Anthony Burgess’s adaptation of his novel
comes to the stage in this freakish and
unforgettable cabaret, says Sam Marlowe
Theatre
A Clockwork
Orange
Everyman,
Liverpool
{{{{(
S
tanley Kubrick’s notorious film
of Anthony Burgess’s novel
includes a scene in which
Malcolm McDowell, as the
razor-minded teenage thug
Alex, gleefully puts the boot into a
silver-haired man whose home he has
invaded while trilling Singin’ in the
Rain. This staging, directed by Nick
Bagnall, employs music to similarly
Miranda and the R&B veteran Omar
(who was an odd choice to start with)
and you had the makings of a
frustrating evening. The narration
from the American author Josh Kun
delivered some genuine insights, but
there were awkward pauses as we
waited for the musicians to start
tunes, and some of Kun’s attempts at
humour went down like a misfiring
best man’s speech. It was also
disconcerting to hear him describe
Ary Barroso, Brazil’s godfather of
samba, as a bossa nova composer.
Barroso’s anthem Aquarela do Brasil
was the cue for a glimpse of Carmen
Miranda on the screen. A brief detour
into the career of the British-based
band leader Edmundo Ros led into
a curious, zither-less version of
The Third Man. As for the homage to
Juan García Esquivel, it simply made
you long for the subtleties of Pink
Martini’s lounge band settings. Lalo
Schifrin’s Mission: Impossible theme
proved a better fit, but it was too little,
too late. Lara will be back at the
festival on Sunday with Mexrrissey,
his tribute to the Smiths.
Clive Davis
La Linea box office: 020 7638 8891
Concert
BBC PO/Schuldt
Bridgewater Hall,
Manchester
{{{{(
jarring effect. It’s an experiment as
bold as the Ludovico technique.
The adaptation is Burgess’s own,
written in 1986, featuring songs set to
the author’s reworking of themes from
Alex’s beloved Beethoven. Bagnall’s
production, the first to tackle it, is
a freakish cabaret, nastily familiar
yet coolly remote.
Perhaps that’s intentional: it’s as
if we are anaesthetised to its horrors,
numbed by the prevalence of violence
in a digital world where, with just
a few clicks and swipes, we can ogle
real-life footage of our most fearful
or depraved imaginings. The oddities
intrigue, but they also detract from
the narrative’s moral and emotional
force. The imagery, though, remains
potent, and the jagged rhythms
of Nadsat — the slang of Alex
(baby-faced George Caple) and his
rampaging, tolchocking droogs —
lends an unnerving edge to even the
most noodling musical moments.
Molly Lacey Davies and Jocelyn
Meall’s clinical sci-fi design is a
glowing white cube with hidden
trapdoors, drenched by Kay Hanes in
ultraviole(n)t light. The droogs sport
costumes nodding to Kubrick and
straitjackets. Police in pig masks, and
a cadaverous Richard Bremmer
doubling as the prison chaplain
and Alex’s creepy social worker, are
nightmarish visions of authority.
The opening line — “What’s it
going to be then, eh?” — arrives with
shivering vibraphone and ominous
timpani. Alex conducts Beethoven’s
Fifth Symphony with a flick knife;
Ode to Joy is an anthem to the
delirium of destruction.
A Jimmy Savile figure popping up
among the prison inmates is a cheap
joke. Otherwise, the grotesquerie
disturbs, even nauseates, especially
in a gang-rape scene, the victim
trussed and bloodied as sniggering,
singing droogs slash her clothes.
And Alex’s declaration of war on
a complacent, prosperous older
generation is penetrating, pertinent
and chilling. “You and yours have
built this grazny world that we live
in,” Caple snarls. “So now you pay.”
This is, without doubt, a curious
orange — but it’s full of juice.
Box office: 0151 709 4776, to July 12
I
s there no challenging format that
the composer Mark Simpson
cannot conquer? This 29-year-old
British firecracker, the BBC
Philharmonic’s composer in
association, has already done wonders
with that old-fashioned monster the
oratorio (The Immortal) and would
probably do likewise if he wrote 32
variations on the theme tune of
Peppa Pig. With Saturday’s world
premiere, a BBC commission, it was
a cello concerto — often a tricky
proposition because of the
instrument’s easy tendency to get itself
swamped by an orchestra’s weight.
That didn’t happen here, partly
because Simpson’s handpicked soloist,
Leonard Elschenbroich, another rising
star, likes to be lyrical and sing out.
The concerto’s formal plan also
helped, with solo flights winging
through lighter textures, answered by
full-blown comments from a BBC
Philharmonic encouraged into
splendour by its visiting conductor
Clemens Schuldt (note that name too).
This swinging back and forth
between soloist and orchestra gave
Simpson’s piece a slightly traditional
feel, as did the constant flow of
Concert
LSO/Rattle
Barbican
{{{{{
T
he first drum stroke sounded
as final as a gunshot. The
second did too. Then as they
kept on going, those offstage
military drum beats started
to feel like torture — relentless blows
to the heart and soul. It was at this
point in the London Symphony
Orchestra and Simon Rattle’s already
remarkably intense performance of
Mahler’s Tenth Symphony that the
audience seemed to hold their breath,
wondering where on earth, or in hell,
the composer would take us next.
He grants us respite. A hushed solo
flute, played so movingly by Gareth
Davies, emerges and shows us the way
out of the abyss. The music transforms
into a love song that could describe
hope, or it could be transcendence, but
either way is a blessed relief. I’m not
sure my nerves could have taken any
more. This was an emotionally
draining performance, as it should be.
The details of this unfinished score
of 1910 may have been pieced together
by Deryck Cooke, but the impact is
pure Mahler: anguish, anxiety, trauma,
breakthrough. That finale follows a
claustrophobic Adagio, extreme
scherzos, a Purgatorio movement.
Rattle had the symphony internalised,
conducting without a score, and the
LSO were on inspired form. The
variety of string tone and colour
seemed endless: ghostly, rich, shadowy,
snarling and compassionate.
Tippett’s The Rose Lake, from the
other end of the 20th century, couldn’t
occupy more different emotional
territory. Although the composers did
share a love of lakes: Mahler for the
Austrian Attersee, Tippett for the pink
Senegalese lagoon portrayed in this
late work. It’s a “sit back, relax and
marvel at the sunset” kind of piece, a
sequence of songs without words. The
British composer runs riot with
inventive orchestration, including
using 38 rototoms, and the LSO made
every note clear.
Rebecca Franks
melody across the three interlinked
movements — melody soulful enough
at times to echo the music of Jewish
lamentation. At the same time there’s
plenty of Simpson’s usual post-serial
parade: music airborne, kaleidoscopic,
swirling with life. This is a
contemporary piece with a pulsing
heart and I found it irresistible.
Given Simpson’s love of the 20th
century’s early innovators, pairing him
with Richard Strauss made perfect
sense. The choice of Death and
Transfiguration also gave Schuldt
a good workout. His arms expressively
circled round, driving the musicians
ever onwards through the stages of
life’s final drama. Textures abruptly
changed with the jigsaw pieces of
Shostakovich’s Symphony No 1, locked
into shape with fire and precision, and
overwhelmingly defiant at the close.
You can catch this memorable concert
on BBC Radio 3 on May 2.
Geoff Brown
Five stars for the
Rodin show at the
British Museum
First Night, main paper
12
1G T
Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
The Terror
AMC, 9pm
With
Facebook
and
YouTube
dabbling in making
television shows, there
will soon be as many
services offering
original content as
three years), while the
129 men succumbed to
paranoia, frostbite,
starvation and — in
Simmons’s version of
events — a yet more
dreadful fate. The
involvement of the
Alien director Ridley
Scott as executive
producer is a clue. The
cast is superb. Ciaran
Hinds is Captain Sir
John Franklin, the man
in charge, with Jared
Harris and Tobias
Menzies as the
respective commanders
of Terror and Erebus.
There is tension over
the brandy at the
captain’s table, a
sensitive ship’s surgeon
(Paul Ready) and a
mute character from
the book, Lady Silence
(Nive Nielsen), is given
a voice. What she has
to say will send shivers
down your spine.
The Split
BBC One, 9pm
The latest drama from
the award-winning
writer Abi Morgan (The
Hour, The Iron Lady)
explores the legacy
of divorce through
the eyes of a family
of female lawyers.
Nicola Walker, sporting
a sharp blond bob,
is compelling as the
divorce lawyer Hannah
Stern, who has walked
out on the family firm
and faces her sister and
mother on the opposing
side of high-profile
divorce cases and bitter
custody battles. Other
plot strands, involving
the return of Hannah’s
father (Anthony Head)
and married Hannah’s
flirting with an old
flame, send The
Split into soapy Kay
Mellor territory.
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Food. Why so
many big name restaurant chains are in crisis 10.00
Homes Under the Hammer. The team visits properties in
Cheshire, Hertfordshire and West Bromwich (AD) 11.00
Heir Hunters. Michael Buerk delves into the northern soul
music scene 11.45 The Housing Enforcers. Matt Allwright
helps a housing officer assist a tenant with a hoarding
habit 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Christina Trevanion invites
two teams to compete in Newbury, Berkshire (r) (AD)
1.00 BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional
News; Weather 1.45 Doctors. Ayesha gets entangled in a
damaged relationship between two neighbours (AD) 2.15
800 Words. George has a new noisy neighbour — the
occupant of the house up the road that he wanted to buy
(AD) 3.00 Escape to the Country. Jonnie Irwin is rural
property hunting in Argyll and Bute with a couple from
Ayr who want to invest their £350,000 budget in a
property with priceless countryside views (AD) 3.45
Flipping Profit. Kate Bliss and the team head to Ludlow
(AD) 4.30 Flog It! Compilation featuring a collection of
previously unseen finds (r) 5.15 Pointless 6.00 BBC
News at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.25 Heir Hunters (r)
7.10 The Super League Show. Action from the latest
matches, including Hull FC v Leeds Rhinos 8.00 Sign
Zone: Sea Cities — Bristol. Documentary following daily
life at Bristol docks (r) (SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire.
News and current affairs 10.00 Live Snooker: The World
Championship. Coverage of the opening session on day
four at the Crucible Theatre in Sheffield, featuring Ding
Junhui v Xiao Guodong and Stuart Bingham v Jack
Lisowski 12.00 Daily Politics. Parliamentary proceedings
interspersed with discussions and interviews 1.00pm
Live Snooker: The World Championship. The second
session on day four in Sheffield, where the first round
continues at the Crucible Theatre with Luca Brecel v Ricky
Walden and Mark Williams v Jimmy Robertson. Brecel’s
match is scheduled to conclude this afternoon, but the
Belgian needs to improve on his recent form if he is to
progress to the last 16 6.00 Eggheads. Quiz show hosted
by Jeremy Vine (r) 6.30 Britain in Bloom. Chris Bavin
meets members of the community of Breaston in
Derbyshire, as they aim to create a centrepiece Bug Hotel
in their first entry into the Britain in Bloom competition
6.00am Good Morning Britain 8.30 Lorraine.
Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well
as showbiz stories 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio
chat show 10.30 This Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly
Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen. Including Local Weather 12.30pm
Loose Women. More interviews and topical debate from a
female perspective 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge
Rinder. Cameras follow the criminal barrister Robert
Rinder as he takes on real-life cases in a studio courtroom
3.00 Tenable. Quiz hosted by Warwick Davis in which a
family of five from Kent answers questions about top 10
lists from the realms of pop culture and general
knowledge 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz show in which contestants drop
tokens down a choice of four chutes in the hope of
winning a £10,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh
presents as four contestants answer general knowledge
questions and work as a team to take on quiz genius the
Chaser and secure a cash prize 6.00 Regional News;
Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell. Gordon Ramsay visits a
struggling hotel in Island Park, Idaho (r) (AD) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA. The chairman and CEO of a camping
company goes undercover (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News
Summary 12.05pm Coast vs Country. Sara Damergi and
Kerr Drummond help a couple looking to move to north
Wales (r) (AD) 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers. Featuring racing
silks owned by the jockey AP McCoy (r) 2.10 Countdown.
With Chris Packham in Dictionary Corner 3.00 A Place in
the Sun: Home or Away. A decision between Lancaster
and Marseillan (r) 4.00 Escape to the Chateau: DIY. Billy,
Gwendoline and Michael locate their heating problem
(AD) 5.00 Four in a Bed. The second visit is to the Kilpeck
Inn in Herefordshire (r) 5.30 Buy It Now. A Somerset duo
demonstrate their product to help kids during car journeys
6.00 The Simpsons. The Marvel Comics supremo Stan Lee
offers relationship advice to Comic Book Guy, giving him
the confidence to ask out a Japanese manga artist (r)
(AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Esther reveals some truths that
could jeopardise Darcy and Jack’s future (r) (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and guests talk about the issues of the day, with
viewers calling in to offer their opinions 11.15 Can’t Pay?
We’ll Take It Away! Paul and Steve make an extraordinary
discovery inside a bedroom, and immediately call for
police back-up. Brian and Graham head to Swindon Town
football club to recover a debt (r) 12.10pm 5 News
Lunchtime 12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors. An anxious
patient visits the surgery concerned about strange
patches on his skin (r) (AD) 1.10 Access 1.15 Home and
Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS. A Homeland
Security employee goes missing and the team’s
investigation becomes complicated when it emerges the
man’s spouse used to be married to both Gibbs and
Fornell (r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: Secrets of Eden (12,
TVM, 2012) A detective investigates the deaths of a
couple, and becomes convinced the local pastor may be
implicated in the tragedy. Drama starring John Stamos
and Anna Gunn 5.00 5 News at 5 (r) 5.30 Neighbours.
Terese spends a day with Piper and the two reconnect (r)
(AD) 6.00 Home and Away. Justin is taken aback when
his daughter Ava turns up (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
7.00 Emmerdale Ross hopes for justice as
the trial gets underway, and Graham
has a proposition for Megan (AD)
7.30 EastEnders The residents are furious
about Max’s return, especially when
they hear what he has to say (AD)
7.00 Antiques Road Trip Christina
Trevanion and James Braxton begin
their antiques hunt in the Scottish
Borders. James rummages in the dark
for an occasional table, while Christina
hopes some silver-plated cutlery will
generate some profit (6/10)
8.00 Holby City Dominic is confronted by a
ghost from the past, and Sacha wants
to be the perfect boss when Hanssen
returns to work under his leadership.
Meanwhile, a dangerous old flame
crashes back into Frieda’s life (AD)
8.00 Top of the Shop with Tom
Kerridge Four sweetmakers with
fledgling businesses get their chance
to test their products in Malhamdale,
North Yorkshire, competing for a place
in the final (3/8) (AD)
9.00 The Split New series. Top divorce
lawyer Hannah Stern finds business is
personal when she leaves the family
firm. Drama starring Nicola Walker.
See Viewing Guide (1/6) (AD)
9.00 Hospital Cancer operations at
Nottingham University Hospitals are
under threat of being cancelled.
Cameras follow some of the patients,
including 93-year-old Ray who needs a
complex package of care to help him
once he is back at home (5/6)
Late
11PM
10PM
7PM
Early
BBC One
8PM
Dead and Better Call
Saul) and based on the
bestselling 2007 novel
by Dan Simmons,
which in turn is based
on the true story of
an 1845 Royal Navy
expedition to forge a
trading route through
the Northwest Passage.
The aptly named HMS
Terror and its sister
ship, HMS Erebus, got
stuck in the ice (where
they were to remain for
9PM
Top
pick
there are fast-food
chains. The range of
choice is daunting and
it means that a lot of
quality drama is not
the unifying talk of the
water cooler it perhaps
should be. The Terror is
first-rate, but exclusive
to BT customers (BT
TV channel 332/381
HD or Sky channel 192
if you are a BT Sport
subscriber). It is made
by AMC (The Walking
7.00 The One Show Topical reports with
Matt Baker and Alex Jones
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Autumn in Loch Lomond Cameras
document autumn at Loch Lomond and
the Trossachs National Park, a time for
the red deer rut, when stags battle for
the right to breed (3/4) (r)
8.00 This Time Next Year Davina McCall
meets a young couple desperate to
start a family and a father hoping to
give his young daughter the gift of life
for the second time (3/6) (AD)
8.00 Class of Mum and Dad At Blackrod
Primary School, 28-year-old Imogen
arrives nearly an hour late, and
26-year-old Jenny is reluctant to take
part in a dance performance (3/4) (AD)
8.00 The Yorkshire Vet Julian Norton is
called out to a llama, while Peter
Wright helps relocate a young male
deer. He also drops in on elderly
farmers to care for their lurcher (2/8)
9.00 Last Laugh in Vegas The nine British
entertainers have spent more than a
week rehearsing for their dream gig,
However, with days to go before the
big night, the performers question
whether the show should go on after a
tragedy hits Las Vegas (4/5) (AD)
9.00 Fatberg Autopsy: Secrets of the
Sewers Rick Edwards joins scientists
and sewer workers to perform the first
fatberg autopsy — taken from the
biggest blockage of congealed fat and
human waste ever found in the UK, at
east London’s Abbey Mills Pumping
Station. See Viewing Guide (AD)
9.00 Ben Nevis: The Venomous
Mountain Examining Britain’s most
iconic mountain, created 350 million
years ago by the collapse of a giant
volcano. First climbed in 1771, it now
receives more than 100,000 visitors a
year. See Viewing Guide (2/4)
10.00 The World’s Most Luxurious
Airline Documentary revealing the
lengths to which Singapore Airlines
has gone to create a first-class suite
for the super wealthy, spending $850m
over the course of four years (r) (AD)
10.00 When TV Goes Horribly Wrong
Sarah Greene narrates a compilation of
infamous moments from television
history when programmes went wrong.
Among the incidents featured are the
death of Tommy Cooper in midperformance, an invasion of the BBC
news studios, and the wrong Miss
Universe being crowned in front of 200
million viewers worldwide. Plus,
Anthea Turner shares her memories of
nearly being blown up when a
pyrotechnic effect went wrong (r)
7.30 Devon and Cornwall Cops
Documentary following the work of
police officers in the two counties over
a summer (1/4) (r) (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 Cunk on Britain Mark Lawson joins
Philomena to discuss the first half of
the 20th century (4/5) (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 Rent for Sex: Ellie Undercover
Landlords offering rooms in exchange
for sexual favours (1/2) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Evan Davis
10.30 Regional News
11.15 The Botox Bust: Ellie Undercover
Ellie Flynn examines medics improperly
prescribing Botox (2/2) (AD)
11.15 Snooker: The World Championship
Day four concludes at the Crucible
Theatre, where the first round
continued with Stuart Bingham v Jack
Lisowski and Neil Robertson v Robert
Milkins. Jason Mohammad presents
11.15 The Durrells The family plans a party
to celebrate Gerry’s birthday, but the
occasion is invaded by a swarm of
mosquitoes. Louisa worries when
Spiros locks himself in a room to sing
sad songs (6/8) (r) (AD)
12.05am Snooker: World Championship Extra
Extended highlights of matches from the first round on
the fourth day of the ranking tournament at the Crucible
Theatre in Sheffield 2.05 Sign Zone: MasterChef. The
remaining cooks head to RAF Halton in Aylesbury (r) (AD,
SL) 3.05-4.05 Secret Agent Selection: WW2 (r) (AD, SL)
12.10am Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to
participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort of
their sofas, with a mix of roulette-wheel spins and lively
chat from the presenting team 3.00 Loose Women.
Topical debate (r) 3.45 ITV Nightscreen 5.05-6.00 The
Jeremy Kyle Show. Guests air their differences (r) (SL)
11.45 Live at the Apollo Jason Manford
hosts an evening of stand-up at the
Apollo in Hammersmith, London,
introducing routines by Chris Ramsey
and Doc Brown (2/6) (r)
12.35am-6.00 BBC News
10.45 The Cruise: Sailing the Caribbean
Captain Bob Oliver enjoys his last tour
of duty (3/3) (r) (AD)
11.00 Flight HS13 New series. A woman
searches for the truth behind her
husband’s disappearance. Drama
starring Katja Schuurman. In Dutch and
Farsi. See Viewing Guide (1/10)
11.55 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
USA In southern California (10/10) (r)
12.45am One Born Every Minute (r) (AD) 1.45 The
Secret Life of the Zoo (r) (AD) 2.40 The Channel: The
World’s Busiest Waterway (r) 3.35 Come Dine Champion
of Champions (r) 4.30 Building the Dream (r) (AD) 5.25
Steph and Dom’s One Star to Five Star (r) 5.50-6.00
Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (r)
1.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Britain’s Great Cathedrals
with Tony Robinson. The history of Salisbury Cathedral,
Britain’s tallest medieval building (r) (AD) 4.00 Tattoo
Disasters UK. Featuring a man who hates his tattoo of his
daughter (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10
Wildlife SOS (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 House Doctor (r) (SL)
the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
Fatberg Autopsy:
Secrets of
the Sewers
Channel 4, 9pm
Fatbergs are the result
of millions of homes
and restaurants
ignoring advice not to
pour cooking oil down
drains. The congealed
fat mixes with wet
wipes and other debris
(including human
effluent) to form lumps
that can be as big as a
bus. The battle against
them is costing tens
of millions of pounds
a year. Rick Edwards
joins scientists and
sewer workers at the
Abbey Mills Pumping
Station in east London
to perform the first
fatberg autopsy, taken
from one the biggest
blockages (750m) found
in the UK. You’ll need
a strong stomach.
Ben Nevis: The
Venomous
Mountain
Channel 5, 9pm
The portentous tone
of this documentary
is different from the
episode of the Scottish
Bafta-winning 2007
series Mountains, in
which Griff Rhys Jones
ambled amiably up
Ben Nevis, looking for
ospreys and building an
igloo. At 1,345m
(4,412ft), Ben Nevis
is Britain’s tallest
mountain, created 350
million years ago by the
collapse of a volcano. It
was first climbed in 1771
and is a playground for
tourists, receiving more
than 100,000 visitors a
year, some of whom, we
are told, don’t return
alive. Yet many do, and
the views from the top
are stunning.
Flight HS13
Channel 4, 11pm
We’re off to the
Netherlands for
another offering from
Walter Iuzzolino,
a thriller about a
woman’s search for
the truth behind
her husband’s
disappearance. Before
hubby goes Awol we
are painted a picture of
a happily married
couple, doctor Simon
and designer Liv. Then
Simon goes on a
business trip on the
titular flight, which
doesn’t reach its
destination. When
news of the victims
comes through, it turns
out that Simon hadn’t
boarded the flight.
If you want to know
why, the series is
available as a box set
after the credits roll.
Sport Choice
BT Sport 2, 7pm
Liverpool host
Roma at Anfield
in the first leg of their
Champions League
semi-final (kick-off
7.45pm). The Liverpool
forward Mohamed
Salah will be reunited
with his former club.
He left in the summer
to sign for the Reds
for £36.9 million.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Animal 999 (r) (AD) 7.00 Meerkat
Manor (r) 8.00 Monkey Life (r) (AD) 9.00
Motorway Patrol (r) (AD) 10.00 Road Wars (r)
11.00 Warehouse 13 (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00
NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r)
5.00 The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.00 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r) (AD)
8.00 The Flash. Ralph considers crossing a line
when he and Barry find a way into The Thinker’s
lair, while Harry’s behaviour starts to worry Joe
9.00 The Blacklist. A member of the Nash
Syndicate meets an untimely end
10.00 The Late Late Show with James Corden:
Best of the Week. Highlights of the talk show
11.00 The Force: North East. Northumbria Police
deal with a samurai sword attack (r)
12.00 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK (r) (AD)
1.00am Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r) 3.00
Duck Quacks Don’t Echo (r) (AD) 4.00 The Real
A&E (r) (AD) 5.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r)
6.00am Urban Secrets (r) 7.00 Richard E
Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD) 8.00 Fish Town
(r) 9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
(AD) 1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue
Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00
House. Masters mediates between sisters (r)
6.00 House. The medic gets into trouble (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. A murder investigation leads
Danny into the world of voodoo (r) (AD)
9.00 Here and Now. Ramon goes missing after a
disturbing incident. Last in the series
10.10 Crashing. Pete enters a comedy-roast
battle. Last in the series
10.45 The Circus: Inside the Wildest Political
Show on Earth. Documentary
11.20 Westworld. The sci-fi drama inspired by
Michael Crichton’s 1973 film returns (1/10) (r)
12.40am West:Word. Companion show (r) 1.10
Real Time with Bill Maher (r) 2.20 Tin Star (r)
(AD) 3.15 Animals (r) 3.45 High Maintenance
(r) 4.20 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Motorway Patrol (r) (AD) 7.00
Highway Patrol (r) (AD) 7.30 Border Patrol (r)
8.00 Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
9.00 Elementary (r) (AD) 10.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 11.00 Cold Case (r)
12.00 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD) 1.00pm
Medical Emergency (r) (AD) 2.00 Send in the
Dogs (r) 3.00 Nothing to Declare (AD) 5.00
Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00 Medical Emergency (r) (AD)
6.30 Medical Emergency (r) (AD)
7.00 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD)
7.30 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary (r) (AD)
9.00 Chicago Fire
10.00 World’s Most Evil Killers (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Britain’s Most Evil Killers (r) 2.00
Grey’s Anatomy (r) 3.00 Station 19 (r) 4.00
Nothing to Declare (r) 5.00 Border Security:
Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00am Natalia Osipova at Sadler’s Wells 7.30
Sir Simon Rattle: Beethoven Symphonies 9.00
Watercolour Challenge 9.30 The Adventurers of
Modern Art 10.30 Tales of the Unexpected (AD)
11.00 Trailblazers: Pop Videos 12.00 The
Seventies (AD) 1.00pm Discovering: Ginger
Rogers (AD) 2.00 Watercolour Challenge 2.30
The Adventurers of Modern Art 3.30 Tales of
the Unexpected (AD) 4.00 Trailblazers:
Conscience Songs 5.00 The Seventies (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Ava Gardner (AD)
7.00 The Music Videos That Shaped the 80s
8.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2017
9.00 Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks
10.00 The Nineties. The decade’s social issues
11.00 Urban Myths: Backstage at Live Aid (AD)
11.30 Discovering: Montgomery Clift
12.30am Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks 1.30
Monty Python: Almost the Truth. The comedians
discuss their films 2.45 Psychob*****s 3.15
Pink Floyd — Live at Pompeii 4.30 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 5.00 Auction
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans Bitesize
7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 Live ATP
Tennis: The Barcelona Open. Coverage of the
second day in the clay-court tournament at the
Real Club de Tenis Barcelona, featuring first and
second-round matches 3.00pm Live Indian
Premier League: Mumbai Indians v Sunrisers
Hyderabad. Coverage of the latest match taking
place at the Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai
7.30 Gillette Soccer Special. Jeff Stelling
presents pre-match reports, news of goals as
they go in and a classified results round-up
10.00 The Debate. Premier League news
11.00 Sky Sports News. A round-up of the day’s
talking points and a look ahead to the events
that are likely to make the news tomorrow
12.00 Sky Sports News 1.00am Live WWE Late
Night Smackdown. Wrestling action with the
over-the-top stars of the States, profiling
fighters causing a stir and following feuds as
they spill out of the ring 3.00 Sky Sports News.
A round-up of the day’s talking points
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 8.00pm-9.00 River City.
Theresa takes drastic action when she is denied
access to baby Mackenzie 10.45 Holby City
(AD) 11.45 Rent for Sex: Ellie Undercover (AD)
12.15am The Botox Bust: Ellie Undercover
(AD) 12.45 Live at the Apollo. Comedy sets by
Jason Manford, Chris Ramsey and Doc Brown
1.30 Weather for the Week Ahead
1.35-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 10.00pm-10.30 Keepin
’er Country. The 50th anniversary staging of the
country music event the Clonmany Festival (r)
11.15 Cunk on Britain (AD) 11.45 Snooker:
The World Championship 12.35am-2.05
Snooker: World Championship Extra
BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 11.15pm First Minister’s
Questions. Full coverage of AMs’ questions to
the First Minister from the Senedd 12.05am
Snooker: The World Championship 12.55-2.05
Snooker: World Championship Extra
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.15 Give It a Year.
Karren Brady meets a former Royal Marine who
has overcome PTSD to start a woodland
adventure business (AD)
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 STV News 11.15 Heroes and Villains:
Caught on Camera. Following a greatgrandfather as he fights off armed intruders at
his home (r) 12.15am Teleshopping 1.15 After
Midnight 2.45 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days; Weather. News and
analysis from Washington DC and London
7.30 Sea City. Thousands head to a music
festival on the Isle of Wight (1/3)
8.00 King Alfred and the Anglo-Saxons. Michael
Wood explores the role played by Alfred the
Great’s daughter Aethelflaed, the ruler of
Mercia, in England’s battles against the Vikings
and in civil war (2/3) (AD)
9.00 The Story of the Jews. Simon Schama
examines the lost world of the shtetl, the
Jewish towns and villages in Eastern Europe
that were the source of a unique culture and
made a mark all over the world (4/5) (AD)
10.00 Majesty and Mortar: Britain’s Great
Palaces. Dan Cruickshank reflects on the period
just prior to the First World War, when the
redesign of Buckingham Palace and the Mall
took place. Last in the series (AD)
11.00 Chivalry and Betrayal: The Hundred Years
War. Exploring Joan of Arc’s role in the French
resistance. Last in the series
12.00 Francesco’s Italy Top to Toe. Last in the
series (AD) 1.00am Top of the Pops: 1983
2.15-3.15 The Story of the Jews (AD, SL)
6.00am Hollyoaks (AD) 7.00 Rules of
Engagement 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (AD)
9.00 New Girl (AD) 10.00 2 Broke Girls (AD)
11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (AD) 12.00 The
Goldbergs (AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory
(AD) 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (AD) 3.00
New Girl (AD) 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (AD)
5.00 The Goldbergs (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Sienna makes contact with an
old acquaintance (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
9.00 Gotham. Gordon hopes to convince Carmine
Falcone to help him fight the Penguin (AD)
10.00 Supernatural. Sam and Dean discover
what Jack is capable of achieving
11.00 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
11.30 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
12.00 First Dates (AD) 1.05am Tattoo Fixers
(AD, SL) 2.05 Gotham (AD) 2.55 Supernatural
3.40 How I Met Your Mother (AD) 4.05 Rules of
Engagement. Double bill
8.55am Food Unwrapped (AD) 9.30 A Place in
the Sun: Summer Sun 11.35 Four in a Bed
2.10pm Come Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the
Sun: Summer Sun 5.50 Ugly House to Lovely
House with George Clarke (AD)
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo. Documentary
about the animals of Chester Zoo (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. A couple whose dream of
turning a cottage into an eco-friendly farmhouse
had been hampered by costs (1/3) (AD)
9.00 My Floating Home. A couple who plan on
converting a century-old barge into a
three-tiered apartment (AD)
10.00 24 Hours in A&E. A nine-year-old boy has
a dangerously high heart rate, and doctors fear a
32-year-old man may have damaged his spine in
a 30ft fall from scaffolding (AD)
11.05 Millionaires’ Mansions: Designing
Britain’s Most Exclusive Homes. The
transformation of two homes in Chelsea, one of
London’s most exclusive boroughs (3/3) (AD)
12.10am 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
With Danny Dyer 1.10 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA 2.05 My Floating Home (AD)
3.10-3.50 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut
11.00am The Sound of Fury (PG, 1950)
Depression-era crime drama with Frank Lovejoy
(b/w) 12.50pm Voyage to the Bottom of
the Sea (U, 1961) Sci-fi adventure starring
Walter Pidgeon 3.00 Strategic Air Command
(U, 1955) Drama starring James Stewart 5.15
Sword of Sherwood Forest (U, 1960) Robin
Hood adventure starring Richard Greene
6.55 Enemy Mine (12, 1985) Sci-fi adventure
starring Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr
9.00 X-Men: Days of Future Past (12,
2014) Wolverine is sent back in time to change
history and prevent a war that has devastated
the world. Superhero adventure sequel starring
Hugh Jackman and Jennifer Lawrence (AD)
11.35 Hyena (18, 2014) A corrupt cop must
learn to adapt to a new way of life after his
patch of London is taken over by Albanian
gangsters. Crime thriller starring Peter
Ferdinando, Stephen Graham and Neil Maskell
1.50am-4.00 Waste Land (PG, 2010)
Documentary about a rubbish dump in Brazil,
following an artist using its contents as material
for his latest project and the people who work
there sorting recyclable material
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 7.10
Who’s Doing the Dishes? 7.55 Emmerdale (AD)
8.20 Coronation Street (AD) 9.25 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show 10.20 The Bachelor 12.15pm
Emmerdale (AD) 12.45 Coronation Street (AD)
1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 5.50 Take Me Out
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Jake asks Walden for
money so he can propose to Tammy
8.30 Two and a Half Men. Alan tries to make
Valentine’s Day special for Lindsay
9.00 FILM: American Pie: The Wedding
(15, 2003) The friends reunite to celebrate Jim
and Michelle’s forthcoming trip to the altar.
Comedy sequel starring Jason Biggs (AD)
11.00 Family Guy. Stewie and Brian discover
that their new neighbours are spies (AD)
11.30 Family Guy (AD)
11.55 American Dad! (AD)
12.25am American Dad! (AD) 12.55 Celebrity
Juice 1.40 Two and a Half Men 2.25
Teleshopping 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55
Heartbeat 7.55 The Royal 9.00 Judge Judy
10.25 Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.35pm The
Royal 1.35 Heartbeat 2.40 Classic Coronation
Street 3.45 On the Buses 4.50 You’re Only
Young Twice 5.20 George and Mildred 5.55
Heartbeat. Jenny falls victim to conmen
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Jessica investigates
the discovery of a body on the set of the film
Psycho while visiting Hollywood (AD)
8.00 Midsomer Murders. The unveiling of a
novel by a deceased writer is jeopardised when
the manuscript is stolen and an artist is
electrocuted by a lethal roulette wheel (AD)
10.00 Last Laugh in Vegas: Showtime. Several
British entertainers, including Cannon and Ball,
Anita Harris, Kenny Lynch, Bernie Clifton and Su
Pollard, take to the stage for their big gig (AD)
11.30 The Street. A teacher is caught in an
embarrassing situation while jogging, and a
police investigation causes his life to unravel as
dark secrets from his past are revealed (3/6)
12.55am The Street 2.00 ITV3 Nightscreen.
Text-based information 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am The Saint 6.50 Pawn Stars 7.35
Ironside (AD) 8.35 Quincy ME 9.35 Minder (AD)
10.35 The Saint 11.45 The Avengers 12.50pm
Ironside 1.50 Quincy ME 2.55 Minder (AD) 3.55
The Saint 5.00 The Avengers
6.05 Cash Cowboys. A 100-year-old bar
7.05 Pawn Stars. The team values a
19th-century handgun and a telegraph kit used
by spies during the Second World War
7.30 Pawn Stars. Rick and Corey examine
paintings by the Hollywood star Tony Curtis
8.00 World Superbike Highlights. Action from
the fourth meeting of the season from Assen
9.00 FILM: Lethal Weapon 4 (15, 1998) The
mismatched LAPD detectives hunt down the
head of a triad gang involved in forgery and
slave trading. Action adventure starring Mel
Gibson, Danny Glover and Rene Russo (AD)
11.30 FILM: American Gangster (18, 2007)
Fact-based crime drama about the 1970s drug
kingpin Frank Lucas and the cop who tried to
bring him down in the face of police corruption.
Starring Denzel Washington (AD)
2.35am The Protectors 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve
Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear.
British Leyland’s 40th birthday (AD)
6.00 Room 101. With Rob Delaney, Davina
McCall and Laurence Fox
6.40 Would I Lie to You? With Gareth Malone,
Amanda Abbington and Richard Osman
7.20 Would I Lie to You? With Jack Dee, Romesh
Ranganathan, Gaby Roslin and Tinchy Stryder
8.00 Scrappers — Back in the Yard (1/6)
8.30 Scrappers — Back in the Yard (2/6)
9.00 Would I Lie to You? With Miles Jupp,
Heston Blumenthal, Emilia Fox and Ed Byrne
9.40 Would I Lie to You? With Jo Brand, Roisin
Conaty, Paul Foot and Ray Mears
10.20 Would I Lie to You?
11.00 Live at the Apollo. Comedy sets by Sarah
Millican, Joe Lycett and Russell Kane
12.00 QI 1.20am Mock the Week 2.00 QI
3.15 Parks and Recreation 3.40 The
Indestructibles 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning (AD)
9.00 Casualty (AD) 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The
Bill 12.00 Lovejoy 1.00pm Last of the Summer
Wine 1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 Birds of a Feather
3.00 London’s Burning (AD) 4.00 You Rang,
M’Lord? 5.00 Lovejoy
6.00 Hi-de-Hi! Ted is asked to bribe councillors
6.40 Keeping Up Appearances. Emmet rehearses
a musical production (AD)
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Howard
discovers the pitfalls of using a mobile phone to
contact like-minded animal watchers
8.00 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries. The
detective investigates the murder of a former
war photographer, uncovering a trail leading to
an executed Bosnian family (4/4)
10.00 New Tricks. A woman urges the team to
reinvestigate the death of her boyfriend’s father,
a biker-gang leader, as she believes an innocent
man will be killed in revenge (8/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Tracey tries to help an
ex-con, but Sharon thinks he is a lost cause
12.00 The Bill 1.00am London’s Burning (AD)
2.10 The Pinkertons (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Murder Maps
11.00 Impossible Engineering (AD) 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Volcano Hell 2.00 Attenborough’s
Ark (AD) 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 Murder Maps
5.00 Impossible Engineering (AD)
6.00 Churchill’s Bodyguard
7.00 Deep Wreck Mysteries. The mysterious
circumstances surrounding three U-boats that
were discovered in the Bristol Channel (1&2/6)
8.00 Timewatch: QE2 — The Final Voyage. The
farewell journey of RMS Queen Elizabeth 2
9.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Messrs
Corbett and Barker reminisce about sketches
including Garlic Breath Party and Swedish Made
Simple. Alison Moyet guests
10.00 The Two Ronnies Sketchbook. Sketches
including the Phantom Raspberry Blower
11.00 Porridge. The inmates of Slade Prison are
given time to pursue their hobbies
11.40 Porridge. Fletch goes into hospital
12.20am Porridge 1.00 Black Ops (AD) 2.00
Auschwitz: The Nazis and the Final Solution
3.00 Home Shopping
UTV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-9.00 The Spirit of
Northern Ireland Awards. Local heroes are
celebrated 10.45 This Time Next Year (AD)
11.45 Give It a Year (AD) 12.10am The Cruise:
Sailing the Caribbean (r) (AD) 12.35
Teleshopping 2.05-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Leugh le Linda (r) 5.20 Igam Ogam (r)
5.30 Flapair is a Charaidean (Flapper and
Friends) (r) 5.40 Su Shiusaidh (Little Suzy’s
Zoo) (r) 5.45 Na Floogals (r) 5.55 Botannan
Araid Uilleim (William’s Wish Wellingtons) (r)
6.00 Seoc (Jack) (r) 6.10 Am Prionnsa Beag
(The Little Prince) (r) 6.35 Tree Fu Tom (r)
7.00 Bailtean Alba (Scotland’s Towns) (r) 7.25
Horo Gheallaidh Shorts (Celtic Music Shorts)
(r) 7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 7.55
Fraochy Bay (r) 8.00 An Là (News) 8.30 Fuine
(Home Baking) (r) 9.00 Scotstar: Teasairginn
Eiginneach 9.45 Sgeul Seirbheis. National
Service in the 1950s (r) 10.00 Trusadh
(Compelling Stories) (r) 11.00 Alba air Falach
(Hidden Scotland) (r) 11.25 Dhan Uisge (Cuan
Sound) (r) 11.30-12.00 Sorchar nan Reul (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Yr Ysgol (r) 6.15 Blero yn Mynd i
Ocido 6.25 Halibalw (r) 6.35 Igam Ogam (r)
6.50 Sam Tân (r) 7.00 Chwedlau Tinga Tinga
(r) 7.10 Sbarc (r) 7.25 Dip Dap (r) 7.30 Patrôl
Pawennau 7.45 Dona Direidi (r) 8.00 Syrcas
Deithiol Dewi (r) 8.10 Pingu (r) 8.15 Boj (r)
8.30 Abadas (r) 8.40 Bla Bla Blewog (r) 8.55
Ben a Mali a’u Byd Bach O Hud (r) 9.05 Sbridiri
(r) 9.25 Meripwsan (r) 9.30 Straeon Ty Pen (r)
9.45 Pentre Bach (r) 10.00 Dona Direidi (r)
10.15 Tili a’i Ffrindiau (r) 10.25 Halibalw (r)
10.35 Igam Ogam (r) 10.45 Y Brodyr Coala (r)
11.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 11.15 Sbarc (r)
11.30 Mwnci’n Dweud Mwnci’n Gwneud (r)
11.35 Ahoi (r) 11.55 Peppa (r) 12.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Y Ty Cymreig (r)
12.30 Cwymp yr Ymerodraethau (r) 1.30 Only
Men Aloud (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05
John ac Alun (r) 3.30 Gwyllt ar Grwydr (r) 4.00
Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh:
Pigo Dy Drwyn 5.30 Stwnsh: Gwboi a Twm
Twm (r) 5.45 Stwnsh: #Fi (r) 6.00 News S4C
a’r Tywydd 6.05 04 Wal (r) 6.30 Rownd a
Rownd (AD) 7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y Cwm.
Dai’s tantrum gives Jim and Elgan an idea (AD)
8.00 Ffit Cymru 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30
Y Ditectif (AD) 10.30 Wil ac Aeron: Taith
Rwmania (r) 11.00-11.35 Pobol y Rhondda (r)
14
Tuesday April 24 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
5
2
3
18
4
6
7
8
18
8
9
19
16
11
12
20
14
20
19
24
16
6
5
15
3
8
18
19
6
21
6
4
6
18
18
9
8
8
4
7
6
1
6
12
12
14
16
22
5
3
20
20
20
6
26
20
11
4
16
1
V
17
9
I
20
6
8
16
4
8
8
26
20
20
23
13
6
16
2
A
20
14
4
16
10
25
19
15
3
15
9
1
1
25
25
9
15
1
15
19
6
15
16
18
B
26
8
7
8
2
19
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
26
18 Persistently avoid (4)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
19 Transmitted message (8)
1
12 Showy plant (6)
13 Scored (at cribbage) (6)
15 Shake, tremble (6)
Solution to Crossword 7633
A B C
WE R EWO
O F U
I NV A I N
L
T
GO L DE
R
R
N EWH A M
Y E A
A PRON
R E D
L ENS S
A Y
3
10
7 Tibetan monk (4)
L F
A
T U
H
NE A
R
P SH
I
NA
L
T AN
W
D E
ONY X
G E
L I P
E
I
G L E S
C
I RE
N
V A J O
A
I
D I NG
E X
2
3
4
15
16
17
I
Down
1 Close friend (4)
2 Courage; container (6)
3 Early stage of life (6)
4 Barrier affecting women
and minorities (5,7)
8 Assistant at birth (7)
11 Dig up (7)
14 Remove, erase (6)
7
8
9
18
19
20
21
22
O
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
12
13
23
24
25
26
R
B
U
No 4234
R
N
N
C
E
I
R
G
S
L
C
B
U
O
E
A
U
S
A
B
E
U
A
F
L
T
E
L
V
E
F
See today’s News section
11
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
letters in the main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
Yesterday’s solution, right
17 Toothed wheel (4)
If you enjoy the times2 Crossword, you’ll
love Quintagram, our new and exclusive
clue-solving challenge
10
C
Lexica No 4233
15 Small game birds (6)
U
I
A
C
Y
H
R
R
N
T
H
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce
a completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4310
Futoshiki No 3157
<
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
<
Winners will receive a Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle and text in the numbers in the three
shaded boxes. Text TIMES followed by a space, then your
three numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your name, address
and postcode to 84901 (UK only), by midnight. Or enter
by phone. Call 09012 925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
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Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
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correct answers received. One draw per week. Lines close at
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(Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
What are your favourite
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Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
Kakuro No 2116
36
<
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
6
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or
text TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution
call 0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Mick Jagger (7,5)
6 Eg, Keith
Try our new word puzzle
5
V
14
2
1
5 Sudanese capital (8)
9 Run like the forces (11)
4
2
16 Repaying in kind (11)
10 Old enough to marry (6)
2
5
19
Across
5
3
22
26
5
C
8
3
20
2
14
24
7
5
14
8
8
1
15
15
1
18
19
6
1
26
13
15
17
18
10
5
Train Tracks No 390
∨
5
<
1
<
∨
3
31
7
23
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
24
14
39
16
33
14
18
30
19
11
22
17
26
32
∧
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
29
17
17
17
16
∧
12
16
17
17
27
19
7
6
8
7
6
10
3
3
4
17
3
32
4
16
4
19
© PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3318
© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7634
the times | Tuesday April 24 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
Today I conclude my coverage of
the wins by Fabiano Caruana
from his outstanding performance
in the Grenke Chess Classic. It is
the hallmark of a great master to
be able to create something from
virtually nothing. It is a particular
forte of world champion Magnus
Carlsen, whom Fabiano Caruana
will face in the World Championship match set for London this
November. It would appear from
today’s game that Caruana has
been studying Carlsen’s methods.
A position that might plausibly
have been agreed drawn was conducted to victory by Caruana with
minimal forces on the board.
White lured the defending pieces
away to the queenside and then
inaugurated a decisive attack
against the black king with just
queen and knight.
White: Fabiano Caruana
Black: Arkadij Naiditsch
Grenke Chess Classic,
Karlsruhe/Baden Baden 2018
Ruy Lopez
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bb5 Nf6 4 d3
d6 5 0-0 Bd7 6 Re1 Be7
The opening has transposed
from a Berlin to the old Steinitz
Defence against the Ruy Lopez,
usually introduced with 3 ... d6.
7 c3 0-0 8 h3 Re8 9 a4 Bf8 10
Bg5 h6 11 Bh4 g5
Such committal moves are
double-edged. In some cases they
lead to a vigorous attack, in others they merely weaken the pawn
structure around the king. In this
instance the f5-square is potentially highly vulnerable.
12 Bg3 Ne7 13 Bxd7 Qxd7 14 Nbd2
Ng6 15 Nc4 Rad8 16 Ne3 d5
Safer is 16 ... c6.
17 exd5 Bg7 18 d4
If 18 c4 c6 19 dxc6 bxc6 is playable for Black.
18 ... exd4 19 cxd4
Even stronger is 19 Qxd4, when
if 19 ... Nxd5 20 Qxd5 Qxd5 21
Nxd5 Rxe1+ 22 Rxe1 Rxd5 23 Bxc7
leaves White a pawn up.
19 ... Nxd5 20 Nxd5 Rxe1+ 21
Qxe1 Qxd5 22 Bxc7 Rc8 23 Rc1
Bxd4 24 Qd2 Qd7 25 Nxd4 Rxc7
26 Rxc7 Qxc7 27 Nf5 Kh7
The board has cleared and, predictably, White’s knight on f5
confers a slight but clear edge.
The reverse is denied to Black by
White’s next move.
28 g3 Ne5 29 Qe3 Nc4 30 Qc3
Qe5 31 Qd3 Nxb2 32 Qc2 Qe1+
33 Kg2 Qd1 34 Qe4 Qxa4
Natural but losing. Black could
hold on only with 34 ... Qd7.
35 Qxb7 Qa2 36 Ne3!
A brilliant regrouping, leaving
Black unable to defend. His problem is that his knight is not contributing at all and is also a terrible tactical weakness.
36 ... Kg7 37 Qb4 Qb1 38 g4 Kg8
39 Nf5 Qc2 40 Qb8+ Kh7 41 Qb7
Kh8 42 Qe7 Black resigns
♠Q
N
♥W
♦S
♣6 4 3 ♠ ♥9
♦9
♣9 7
OF IT
–8
124 x 4 + 66
MEDIUM
234 + 736
HARDER
+1/5
OF IT
E
Declarer let go a spade from
dummy and East could choose his
poison. If he ruffed, he would have
to lead from the king of clubs
round to dummy’s ace-queen. East
delayed the inevitable, discarding a
club.
At trick 11, declarer exited with
50%
OF IT
+1/5
OF IT
Dealer: East, Vulnerability: North-South
♠J 5 4 3 2
♥7 5 3
♦8
♣AQ J 10
Teams
♠ KQ 10 9 N
♠A 8 6
♥10 4
♥Q J 2
W E
♦J 7 6
♦A 5 4 3
S
♣6 4 3 2 ♠ 7
♣K 8 5
♥A K 9 8 6
♦KQ 10 9 2
♣9 7
S(Bessis)
W
N
1/
2
OF IT
+ 55 x 2 + 16
x 4 + 984
7/
8
OF IT
– 645
– 13 x 4
+1/4
OF IT
+ 95
80%
OF IT
+ 632
6
4
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
3
4
5
4
2
3
Set Square No 2119
6
+
-
x
÷
7
x
-
+
x
x
x
+
x
=
168
Enter each of
the numbers
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
= 14 We’ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
sum should be
= 39 calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
=3
=
18
=
120
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Killer Moderate No 5973
21
21
16
16
14
12
9
7
14
6
7
18
21
Solutions
Quick Cryptic 1075
22
19
8
6min
10
7
O
U
T
S
T
R
I
P
P
I
N
G
I N T I M I
M R
I
MP T E E N
E
N
U
O L I C I T O
H
E
H
E P E A T
I
N
C
T R A D
A L
L
M
P E
N A P T
G O
E
R E E NGRO
8
3
12
16
15
4
14
12
14
17
12
11
6
7
9
6
2
4
3
7
1
5
8
4
7
1
5
8
6
3
9
2
5
8
3
2
9
1
7
6
4
7
3
6
1
2
5
4
8
9
2
4
8
6
7
9
5
1
3
D
E
P
A
R
T
M
E
N
T
A
L
G
S
QU I CK
R
A
QUAR T
A
S T UBB
A
E X AC T
A
H
A T R I U
I
N
F ON T
N
Z
6
2
4
8
1
3
9
7
5
3
5
7
9
6
2
8
4
1
8
1
9
7
5
4
2
3
6
4
x
3
x
9
-
19
25min
8
12
12
22
20
14
13
11
7
10
22
3
18
19
15
+
6
+
6
22
16
7
7
9
1
8
4
3
7
6
2
5
3
7
2
6
1
5
4
9
8
5
6
4
9
8
2
1
3
7
6
8
3
2
5
9
7
4
1
1
5
9
7
4
8
3
6
2
2
4
7
1
6
3
8
5
9
8
9
5
3
7
4
2
1
6
7
3
6
5
2
1
9
8
4
4
2
1
8
9
6
5
7
3
21
5
4
2
9
8
3
6
1
7
1
6
9
4
7
2
3
5
8
3
7
8
6
5
1
9
4
2
4
8
7
3
1
6
2
9
5
C
A
9
3
5
2
4
8
1
7
6
7
9
6
8
3
4
5
2
1
2
1
4
7
6
5
8
3
9
8
5
3
1
2
9
7
6
4
4
12
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
6
9
3
8
7
1
2
5
4
1
7
2
9
5
4
3
6
8
8
4
5
3
6
2
9
1
7
7
3
6
2
8
5
1
4
9
4
1
9
7
3
6
8
2
5
2
5
8
4
1
9
7
3
6
5
8
7
1
4
3
6
9
2
3
2
4
6
9
7
5
8
1
9
6
1
5
2
8
4
7
3
9
5
3
7
6
4
1
2
8
7
6
1
2
3
8
5
9
4
6
4
7
1
9
2
3
8
5
1
3
9
5
8
6
4
7
2
5
2
8
4
7
3
9
6
1
2
7
5
3
4
9
8
1
6
3
1
6
8
5
7
2
4
9
8
9
4
6
2
1
7
5
3
1
3 1
2 1 4 5
4 2
4 7 9
9 8
Train Tracks 389
1
Quintagram
1 Crime
2 Flair
3 Sherry
4 Quench
5 Gregarious
5
3
7
2
3
2
4
5
2
4
A
6
5
1
-
3
1
8
M
F
E
R
N
I
N
D
M
A
R
C
A
G
M
G
U
L
D
E
1
∧
3
4
∨
3
3
1
2
4
2
5
3
1
4 < 5
∨
1
2
4 < 5
KenKen 4309
R
O
U
E
C
L
L
O
M
I
2
K
A
W
A
N
R
T
Futoshiki 3156
5
Cell Blocks 3200
Lexica 4232
G
A
4 10
6
5
4
2
2
D
Suko 2219
Word watch
Brain Trainer
Accentor (a) A
small sparrowlike songbird of
the genus
Prunella
Azoic (b) Having
no signs of life
Azolla (c) A fern
that grows in
tropical waters
5
∨
1
4
∨
2
∧
3
4 2
2 4
2
Easy 64
Medium 573
Harder 1,778
Chess
Killer 5972
4
8
2
9
1
5
6
3
7
5 8
3 1 2 8
1 2 4 9
3 1 6
-
5
V
2
6
2
1
5
9
7
4
8
3
1 3
3 1
2 1 3
4 5
2 3 1
5 3 4 1 2 6
2 1
9 6 8
5 7
1 5 6
8 3
3 9 8 5
1
2 7 9 1 3 4
1 3
1 2
B
Killer 5971
17
x
P
Sudoku 9819
6
+
1
-
2
Lexica 4231
Killer Tough No 5974
25
+
+
Sudoku 9818
13
V
U
B
J
E N S
ROOM
S
E
O D
S
D I NGH Y
E
Z
P
L Y
V E NU E
S
S
R
RA F F I S H
Y
A
M
I NCOME
E
N
T
U
R E G R OW T H
E
S
R
E
Set Square 2118
1
9
5
3
4
8
6
2
7
Kakuro 2115
Codeword 3317
D A T E
I
O
GE T U
T
E A
R
E
R
A N SO
L
I T I O
S
N
T UN I
I
E
C E R
Sudoku 9817
Contract: 4♥ , Opening Lead: ♠ K
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
7/
16
OF IT
3
2
5 4 4
Yesterday’s answers
afore, arbor, boa, boar, boer, bora, bore,
borer, bro, faro, fob, foe, for, forb,
forbear, fore, fro, froe, oaf, oar, orb, ore,
orf, orfe, orra, roar, rob, robe, roe
22
his last heart. East won the queen
but his club return from kingsmall ran to dummy’s ace-queen.
Ten tricks and game made.
Very well played by our Gallic
hero. However, at the other table,
West, Darren Wolpert, switched to
a club at trick two through
dummy’s strength, extricating
partner from the ensuing endplay.
Nice defence and there was no
way home for declarer now — he
had to lose a trick in every suit.
Down one.
60%
OF IT
From these letters, make words of
three or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 14 words, average;
19, good; 23, very good; 28, excellent
E
1NT
Pass
2♥
Pass
3♥ (1)
4♥
End
(1) Bold raise from Thomas’s father Michel.
His mother, Veronique, is an international
player too. They are all charming — and
very, very good players. Silent assassins all
three.
–8
© PUZZLER MEDIA
9
♠♥Q
♦♣K 8 5
x 2 + 13
Polygon
6
Bridge Andrew Robson
♠J 5
♥♦♣AQ
1/
2
________
á D D D D]
à0QD DpDk]
ß D D D 0]
ÞD D D 0 ]
Ý D D D D]
ÜD D H )P]
Ûqh D )KD]
ÚD D D D ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
________
á Dr$ D D] Winning Move
à0 D 4p0k]
ß gp$ D 0] White to play. This position is from
Pro League 2018.
ÞD D 0 D ] Chen-Mitkov,
Black’s position creates an awkward
Ý D DPDqD] impression as his pieces do not co-ordinate
ÜD D DN) ] and feel exposed and vulnerable. How did
ÛP) DQ)K)] White finish with a brisk tactic?
ÚD D D D ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
Thomas Bessis of France is one of
the nicest players on the circuit.
He’s one of the best, too. Watch
him capitalise on a rather soft
defence by West to make this thin
4♥ from a past Las Vegas
Cavendish International tournament.
West led the king of spades and,
when it held, continued with the
nine of spades. Declarer ruffed
away East’s ace and led the king of
diamonds. East won the ace and
switched to the two of hearts.
Declarer won the ace of hearts
then led and passed the ten of diamonds. He ruffed a third diamond
(his diamond plays catering to
West holding ♦Jxxx as well as
♦Jxx) and ruffed a third spade
(crucially exhausting East of
spades). He cashed the king of
hearts, then ran winning diamonds.
Here is the ending as declarer
led his fifth diamond:
58
EASY
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Endgame duel
Cell Blocks No 3201
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1 Ng5+! Qxg5
(1 ... hxg5 2 Qxg4)
2 Rxc8 with an
easy win on
material
Quiz
1 Ben Nevis 2 Sculpture 3 Cardinal Richelieu
4 Stainless steel or inox steel or inox 5 Claudia
Schiffer 6 Judaism 7 Jane Fallon 8 Beer mats or
coasters 9 Blue 10 Mrs Thatcher 11 Tracey Ullman
12 François Clouet 13 Greylag goose 14 High jump
15 St Pancras Renaissance Hotel
24.04.18
MindGames
Mild No 9820
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Difficult No 9821
5 9 2 8
6
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
3
2
8
1
8
5
7
Accentor
a A songbird
b A multiple bet
c A loan collector
Azoic
a Of a pigment
b Without life
c A skin complaint
Azolla
a An antelope
b A coin
c A fern
9 2
9
1 8
6
4
9
8
1 4
4 8
3
1
6 7
Super fiendish No 9822
4 3
2
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
3
8
5
5
2
3
1 3
9 5
2
4
1
3
7
2
9
1
9
6
2
2
8
8
9
3
6 9
4 1
7
1 8
4 5
2
5
4
6 7
9 4
8
2 5
8
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2219
OLI SCARFF/GETTY IMAGES
1 Located in Scotland,
what is the tallest
mountain in the
British Isles?
11 In 1983, which
English comedian had
pop hits with Breakaway
and They Don’t Know?
2 The Henry Moore
Institute in Leeds is
dedicated to celebrating
which art form?
12 Which court painter
to the French kings
Francis I, Henry II and
Charles IX painted A
Lady in Her Bath (1571)?
3 In 1624, King
Louis XIII appointed
which cardinal as his
chief minister?
15
4 Which term describes
a steel alloy with a
minimum of 10.5 per
cent chromium content
by mass?
5 Which German
supermodel lives with
her husband, filmmaker
Matthew Vaughn, at
Coldham Hall, Suffolk?
6 The Amidah, aka the
Shemoneh Esrei
(“Eighteen”), is the
central prayer of which
religion’s liturgy?
7 Which partner of Ricky
Gervais wrote the novels
Getting Rid of Matthew
and Faking Friends?
8 What pieces of
pub paraphernalia
are collected by a
tegestologist?
9 Which primary colour
describes the star type
that has the hottest
surface temperature?
10 Critiquing monetarism,
the economist Nicholas
Kaldor wrote the 1983
work The Economic
Consequences of… who?
13 Which goose
was the subject of
Konrad Lorenz’s
pioneering studies of
imprinting behaviour?
14 The Italian athlete
Sara Simeoni won which
field event at the 1980
Moscow Olympics?
15 Which London hotel
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1076 by Tracy
1
2
3
4
5
8
6
7
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
20
19
22
23
21
Across
1 A potted pink may be put back
here immediately (2,3,4)
6 Head of company working a
swindle (3)
8 Idle talk about milliner (7)
9 Jack, unscrupulous man (5)
10 Beers (cold) in sisters’ house
for one recuperating (12)
12 A drama unfolding for fleet of
warships (6)
13 Happy entertaining loose
collection of stars (6)
16 Advocated hangover cure
restored her good faith (4,2,3,3)
19 Greek character inside local
pharmacy (5)
20 One taking class punished
cheater (7)
22 Extremely touchy about old
plaything (3)
23 What a hire-purchase
agreement offers, in simple
words? (4,5)
Down
1 Individual touring clubs long
ago (4)
2
3
4
5
6
7
11
12
14
15
17
18
21
Restaurant’s rent, low but
rising (7)
Have a meal in Chelsea
trattoria (3)
The governor having part
to play in prisoner’s
conditional release (6)
Fall into place in appropriate
new phase (4,5)
Constant speed in old car (5)
Attempt to follow elevated
neon road sign (2,5)
Recording? Vote iPad
remarkably simple, ultimately
(9)
Really try in a TT (2,5)
Alternative alien on earth (7)
Class, say, mostly American (6)
Suggest only taking leader out
(5)
Greek god, resentful, rises (4)
Deed shown in a court (3)
DIGITAL RADIO • APP
VIRGINRADIO.CO.UK
Yesterday’s solution on page 15
7
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