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The Times Times 2 - 25 April 2018

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April 25 | 2018
How to go wild
at any age
From left: dress, £69, & Other Stories,
Giovanna Battaglia Engelbert,
Kristin Scott Thomas and Hilary Rhoda
2
1G T
Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
times2
I survived the
Are you easily offended?
If so, this column was
written especially for you
Carol Midgley
T
ransport for London
(TfL) has apologised
unreservedly — and
not before time —
after staff cruelly
humiliated passengers
by chasing them along
the platform with
sticks, shouting: “Put your big, sweaty
bum-cracks away.” Counselling is
available to those affected.
Oh. It seems I’ve got that wrong.
What actually happened was that a
member of staff wrote on a whiteboard
for its inspirational quote of the day
these words: “During this heatwave
please dress for the body you have.
Not the body you want!” To which
some people burst into Twitter tears,
accusing TfL of “body-shaming”.
In a normal world TfL would have
told those people to get a life, then
returned to the business of keeping
London moving. As we do not live in
such a world, a familiar snivelling
script was followed. A statement was
issued: “We apologise unreservedly to
customers who were offended by the
insensitive message on the whiteboard
at Blackhorse Road station.” And an
investigation was promised. Into what,
exactly? Having a sense of humour?
Stating the blindingly obvious truth?
I’m sure you don’t want to sit on a
public seat marinated in buttock juice
because someone was spilling out of
skimpy shorts any more than I do. It’s
no fun either staring at someone’s
fungally infected toenails because they
are wearing sandals for the first time
since August 2017. But I suppose to
turn away and retch is “toe-shaming”?
Fungi have feelings too.
How do you body-shame eight
million people simultaneously, by the
way? This message never promoted an
ideal body size nor mentioned weight.
There was no picture. It was a lighthearted plea not to let perspiring bare
flesh drench the upholstery, or put
people off their Soleros. It was a call
for consideration and self-awareness
via a regular message-board designed
to make people laugh and remember
for one fleeting moment in rush hour
that they’re not ants, but human
beings. (Apologies if that sounds
ant-ist or if any ants reading are
offended. Ants are, of course, part of a
hardworking community and, for the
record, I have never seen a fat ant. Not
that there would be anything wrong
What not
to wear at
the Lindo
Respect to the Duchess
of Cambridge, who
appeared on the steps
with that. No, no. No thorax-shaming
here.) But what about the people who
are offended by a builder’s bum-style
crack in their face on the Tube? What
about them, eh?
These perpetual offence-takers now
rule the world, forcing people to make
apologies for nothing, fainting if a
friendly shopkeeper calls them “love”
and claiming that their feelings are
hurt by absolutely everything. Last
year some students in Dallas actually
wanted an annual display of flags
commemorating the victims of 9/11 to
be moved because it was “triggering”. I
loathe the term “snowflake” — which
is just as well because last year most
young people in a poll said that being
called one affected their mental health.
If tonight you watch Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall’s TV documentary
Britain’s Fat Fight, which confronts our
national obesity crisis, you will see
members of Newcastle city council,
which is discussing a city-wide weight
loss campaign, tiptoeing in terror
around the f-word. “Fat” carries a lot
of “blame” and “negativity”, frets one
woman. Another man dislikes the
word “diet” lest it suggest eliminating
food groups. Yes, yes — don’t worry
that the UK’s annual expenditure on
the treatment of obesity and diabetes
is greater than the amount spent on
the police, fire service and judicial
system combined. Let’s focus on the
priority: not making anyone “upset”.
The number of people offended by
that TfL whiteboard is probably about
three, yet there must be a time-wasting
“investigation”. The humourless are
taking over the asylum.*
*no offence.
of the Lindo Wing with
her new baby wearing
what appeared to be —
horror of utter horrors
— flesh-coloured tights.
When I gave birth it
took me six weeks to
be prised from a pair of
jogging bottoms, but
here was the duchess
having to pull on a
clingy, rasping gusset
and high heels about
six hours after pushing
an 8lb 7oz human out
of her body. Hadn’t she
been through enough?
I didn’t even look at
the baby’s face; I was
too busy obsessing over
those steps. Nothing
could have persuaded
A summer camp in the 1950s was a
cover for an experiment in which boys
were made to fight. A participant tells
Barbara McMahon how it changed him
Psychics
on the
cheap
Should the Duke and
Duchess of Cambridge
want to know what the
future holds for their
new baby (will he get
into the right school?
Will he ever get a
decent internship?),
may I point them to
an excellent online
psychic who can clear
up all that for £10?
Brodie McDougall
has become briefly
famous after Niamh
Gargan paid her £10 for
a reading and provided
a photo of herself
looking tanned with
white teeth and big,
blond hair while
holding a drink.
Gargan got this spooky
feedback on
Messenger: “Your [sic]
into beauty and hair,
you love having a
natural tan your [sic]
feeling fresh you love
banana and chocolate
smoothies you always
have teeth whitening
for your teeth.” Is your
neck prickling?
When Gargan
complained that this
was lame and requested
something “spiritual”
she was told another
crock of ungrammatical
horseshit. She then
called McDougall a
fake before demanding
a refund.
“I think she was just
saying the first thing
that came into her
head,” she said.
Never! For a tenner?
As the young folk say,
I’m shook.
me to walk in those
heels down slippery
stone steps holding a
newborn and in front
of the global media. I’d
have fallen, no question.
But that’s probably
why I am not a royal.
It’s the one thing that
has been holding me
back all these years.
W
hen he was
ten years
old, Doug
Griset was
selected to
attend a
summer
camp where
he would join boys of a similar age
playing sports and living under canvas
in the middle of the countryside. It
was the 1950s, the height of the Cold
War, and the camp was touted as a
training ground for “America’s future
leaders”. What the young participants
and their parents did not know was
that the whole thing was a sham.
Muzafer Sherif, a noted figure in the
field of social psychology, which looks
at how human behaviour is influenced
by others, invented the summer camp
as a cover for his experiments into
why ordinary people participate and
collude in brutality and violence. He
wanted to show that peace could be
engineered under the right conditions.
He recruited 24 boys, separated
them into two factions and tried to
manipulate them into bullying,
harassing and demonising each other.
Despite his repeated attempts to turn
the boys into little savages in a real-life
Lord of the Flies scenario, however, the
youngsters refused to turn on their
friends and behaved honourably.
Sherif was forced to abandon the
experiment — although not for long.
“Ten and eleven-year-old boys being
made to hate each other? That age is a
formative time. It was wrong because
they tried to cause anger and
animosity rather than just allowing a
group of kids to get along,” says Griset,
who is now 75 and a retired judge
living in Schenectady, New York.
The fascinating story is told in The
Lost Boys by Gina Perry, an Australian
author and psychologist who came
upon a hoard of archival material —
notes, photographs and recordings —
about the failed summer-camp study.
Before he died one of Sherif’s research
assistants also gave her valuable
insights into the bizarre study.
Griset did not know that
hat he
had been one of the guinea
nea pigs
until Perry tracked him down
six decades after the camp.
mp.
His father, a pharmacist,
t,
and his mother, a
housewife, were duped
into sending him away
because they thought
they were being
patriotic. A letter sent
by Sherif mentioned
the universities of Yale
and Union College
and the Rockefeller
Foundation,
which was funding
the research.
“They would have
been very impressed by
it all,” Griset says,
laughing. A genial, softly spoken man,
he is talking in the home that he
shares with June, his wife of 54 years.
“My mother was a sucker for anything
fancy. She would have thought that
the family would somehow be elevated
by my attendance.”
It was a hot summer day in 1953
when Griset bade farewell to his
mother and father, he recalls. The
camp at Middle Grove, New York, was
only 45 minutes from where he lived,
but his parents were not allowed to
visit — “That should have sounded an
alarm bell, but it was a different era.”
The boys had been selected because
they were white, Protestant, middleclass and came from stable family
backgrounds. None of them knew
each other. New friendships sprang up
as they explored, played games and
told ghost stories around the campfire.
After several days the boys were
split into two groups to live in tents in
separate parts of the camp. Some of the
boys were displeased at being separated
from their new friends and tried to
swap groups. One boy, who was feeling
homesick and overwhelmed, attempted
to run away, but was brought back.
Sherif, who was disguised as a
janitor, instructed his staff, posing as
camp counsellors, to get the boys’
competitive juices flowing with games
in which only one team would win
prizes — highly desired pocket knives.
With prompting from the adults, one
group called themselves the Panthers
and the other the Pythons.
“The last thing in the world you
want to give small boys are knives,”
Griset says, incredulously. “And why
were we Panthers and Pythons,
instead of something like Penguins or
Bunny Rabbits? It was part of the
tapestry of hate and anger that they
were trying to construct.”
Griset remembers activities such as
tug of war, archery, volleyball and
baseball. The boys were reminded
repeatedly that they were in
competition with each other.
The children,
however, refused to
child
take the bait.
When one group
b
did well in a game, the other
group co
congratulated them.
“They must
m have been hoping
that we’d dislike each other and
commence
to fight, but
comm
whoever
put this plan
w
together
had no sense of
t
tthe sportsmanship that
w had been taught at
we
home and at school. We
would shake hands with
the kids afterwards and
certainly had no sense
of ill will,” Griset says.
None of the boys
noticed the microphones
no
hidden in the rafters of the
hid
main building, or that the
ma
staff were observing them
staf
closely, photographing,
clos
eav
eavesdropping, taking notes.
the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
3
1G T
times2
real-life Lord of the Flies
CHRISTOPHER LANE FOR THE TIMES; ARCHIVES OF THE
HISTORY OF AMERICAN PSYCHOLOGY, THE DRS NICHOLAS
AND DOROTHY CUMMINGS CENTER FOR THE HISTORY OF
PSYCHOLOGY, THE UNIVERSITY OF AKRON
The lowdown
First lady
photo prep
How much hair zhuzhing do you
think it takes to be a first lady?
Zhuzhing?
You know — when you kind of run
your hands through your roots and,
well, zhuzh? It adds volume.
Depends on the first lady in question,
I’d say.
Specifically the American or
French variety.
Ah. Quite a lot, then! Flotus loves a
good hair-ruffle pre-photo op — did
you see her outside Mount Vernon
on Monday with her husband and
the Macrons? This picture captures
her mid-zhuzh, just giving the mane
a flick. I don’t know what is stronger,
her patience or her hairspray.
That’s a bit mean.
Oh yes, sorry, I forgot — you’re a
Melania sympathiser.
Wouldn’t you be? Married to him?
And all of those memes . . .
I think she’s doing OK.
Yet the boys were puzzled by the
adults’ behaviour. Staff actively
encouraged swearing. The adults
pretended to help the boys to do
chores around the camp such as
digging latrines, erecting huts and
hauling rocks, tasks more suitable to
men in military training than small
boys attending summer camp.
The games they were made to play
daily seemed to be getting rougher.
During a baseball game Griset, who
was small for his age and weighed
only 5st, was accidentally knocked
down by a bigger boy.
“You don’t put a small kid, like
I was, in the position of catcher. It was
reckless,” he says. Griset sustained an
injury severe enough that his father
was called and took the boy home
halfway through the three-week
camp. “I have a memory of Sherif
looking serious, dark, a little scary,”
Griset says.
Later, Griset learnt, Sherif instigated
“frustration” exercises. Items of
clothing from the Panthers went
missing. Leftover Python food was
smeared over the Panthers’ table. Yet
the boys’ anger was transitory. They
talked it out and resolved their
differences, disappointing the
researchers’ expectations.
The dark atmosphere in camp was
nevertheless having an effect. One boy
relates how he took a knife and cut
another boy’s T-shirt to pieces. “I don’t
know why I did that,” he told Perry.
Sherif and his staff took the hostility
up a notch, tearing down the Panthers’
tent and strewing the boys’ belongings
on the ground. At first the Panthers
assumed the Pythons had done it and
raced to the opposing group’s tent to
retaliate. Yet after discussions the boys
suspected that the adults were behind
it and helped each other to clear up.
United, they turned on the men,
accusing them of trying to manipulate
them into fighting.
Sherif was furious that the
boys had confounded his
expectations again. Shortly
afterwards, he aborted the test
and the boys were sent home.
A year later, Sherif claimed
to have validated his theories
in the Robbers Cave
experiment, named after the
state park in Oklahoma where
he set up another summer camp.
This time he kept the new set of
boys apart from the beginning so
o that
they could not form inter-group
friendships. However, he continued to
manipulate the circumstances of the
experiment to skew the outcome and
achieve the result he wanted,
according to Perry.
Sherif was born in 1906 in what was
then the Ottoman Empire and the first
15 years of his life were marked by
almost continual experiences of war,
Perry says. In his work he was trying
to understand the causes of war and
find ways to prevent it.
“Sherif came from a tradition in
social psychology that used
experiments to confirm observations
about the real world rather than
investigating to find something new.
He depicts it as a highly scientific
study in which the experimenters
simply set the scene and let things
unfold. But my research and
interviews has established that was far
from the case,” Perry says.
The experiments would never pass
ethical approval processes today and
Sherif’s career went downhill after
they ended, Perry says. His mental
health deteriorated and he began to
experience prolonged bouts of
depression. He died at the age of 82.
Sherif’s work is still cited regularly, not
just in social psychology texts, but in
developmental and evolutionary
psychology too.
The boys who took part — all now
in their seventies — are still trying to
Doug Griset, aged 10,
was one of the 24 boys
recruited for a
psychological
experiment, top. Below
left: Griset is now 75
and a retired judge
The Lost Boys: Inside
Muzafer Sherif’s
Robbers Cave
Experiment by Gina
Perry is published by
Scribe tomorrow, £14.99
gau the impact of their
gauge
involvement. “Brian, a boy
in
in the 1953 study, learnt that
the counsellors wouldn’t
th
intervene to prevent
in
behaviour that would normally
b
never be tolerated at summer
ne
camp and that, in fact, they
ca
encouraged it. So Brian dates
enc
sense of self-sufficiency, his
his se
sense tthat you can’t rely on adults
to look aafter you, from that time,”
says.
Perry say
“Another one of the Robbers Cave
“Anoth
boys said he wondered if the
experiment had anything to do with
his transformation from a shy and
rather awkward boy to someone who
‘solved problems with his fists’, but
we’ll never know what impact it had
on them.”
Griset says he takes the attitude of
“whatever doesn’t kill you makes you
stronger” to his participation in the
experiment and does not think it has
had any long-lasting effect on him.
“On the other hand, you could make
the argument that it was a tipping
point because my life has been all
about children,” he says. “I started out
in social work, went to law school, and
the first part of my career was
representing children in family court.”
He spent the last 20 years of his
career as a family court judge. “I was
making the best decisions I could
about children’s lives. I wouldn’t have
been able to sleep at night if I hadn’t,”
he says. Although he is retired, Griset
still mediates in family disputes.
He finds the idea of trying to incite
aggressive tendencies in small boys
distasteful and morally wrong. “They
observed us like scientists observe rats,
and I cut Sherif some slack because
the times were very different, but you
don’t take small boys into the woods
for three weeks and try to make them
hate each other,” he says. “Kids don’t
hate naturally.”
I think someone needs to help her
plan her exit strategy. And besides,
it wasn’t just Melania who was
engaging in some photo-prep.
Brigitte Macron appeared to have
a strange routine all her own.
Ah yes, Brigitte. Another formidable
barnet-flicker. What do we reckon
her secret is — L’Oréal?
Come off it! Try the much-favoured
sucking-in-of-stomach-and-holdingof-breath. You can see it in this shot.
Is that what she was doing, then? I
thought she was pouting. Or had just
seen another headline about the age
gap between her and her husband.
We can only make vague guesses.
But in that vein, maybe Melania
isn’t zhuzhing her hair at all.
No?
Maybe she’s starting a new hairflick dance move. Just watch me.
Bonus points for sucking in and
pouting at the same time.
Hannah Rogers
4
1G T
Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
fashion
Leopard-lover?
It’s your season
in the sunshine
Animal print is always cool, even in the summer.
Hattie Crisell hunts down the pieces sure to sell out
W
e are
women;
hear us roar.
It’s the
mantra of
our era,
with its
pussy hats,
women’s marches and new crop of
feminist heroes. And I don’t want to
get too literal, but I can’t help thinking
it’s appropriate that during last week’s
heatwave all the best-dressed women
I saw were wearing leopard print.
It’s always good to see a fashion
zeitgeist emerge without too much
fanfare; it means it has happened not
because it has been foisted on us by
the industry, but because women
genuinely love wearing it. Thus it is
with animal print, a look first made
properly cool by Azzedine Alaïa in the
early 1990s, with plenty of support
from Gianni Versace, Dolce &
Gabbana and Roberto Cavalli. It has
survived as a stylish shorthand for
feminine assertiveness and sexuality,
never exactly on or off trend; it feels
far too personal for that. You either
love those prints to your very bones
or you don’t.
I’m among those with a soft spot for
the spots. It’s why I’ve spent the past
week trying to chase down the
leopard-print Ganni skirt that sold out
while I was still deliberating over the
It has
survived
as a stylish
shorthand
for
feminine
sexuality
expenditure. I lost out on a similarly
lovely one at & Other Stories, and
a friend here at The Times tells me
that she has been trying in vain to get
hold of a fantastic Topshop blouse.
I can only extrapolate from this that
leopardophiles all over the country are
suffering the same disappointments
as the good pieces are snapped up, so
I’ve set out to find all the fantastic
animal print you can still buy right
now (don’t procrastinate).
Let’s start, though, with how to
wear it. Animal prints have a flashy,
trashy image, so approach if not with
caution, then at least with attention to
detail. There are various ways to wear
them. First, you can make like the
Scandinavians and dress them down.
A glamorous dress can be worn over
a T-shirt or polo neck, and you could
also add a bomber jacket or sporty
trainers. To some (including me) this
is refreshingly counterintuitive; to
others it’s just a hodge-podge.
Second, you could follow in the
paw-steps of Giovanna Battaglia
Engelbert, the more-is-more Italian
fashion editor who recently went
out in a cheetah-print dress with
leopard-print shoes and handbag.
I don’t recommend this unless you
feel confident that you can carry it
off with aplomb. Italians seem better
equipped for theatrical high glamour,
but the mix-and-match look risks
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the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
1G T
5
RM
fashion
COVER AND BELOW: GETTY IMAGES; REX FEATURES
Why Amber Rudd
likes LK Bennett
By Hilary Rose
I
£59, baukjen.com
£180, lilyandlionel.com
£305, essentiel-antwerp.com
Alicia Vikander, left, and,
above, Constance Jablonski
wearing Frame
being costumey. We’re not making
an am-dram production of The Jungle
Book here.
Third, you could stick with the
old-fashioned wisdom that one animalprint piece at a time is enough, and
keep the rest quite simple. Denim still
works, as does black (see Kate Moss),
but to be very 2018 I’d try pairing it
with white, which in shoes, jeans and
accessories is undoubtedly the colour
of the year. If you’re concerned about
the mutton-dressed-as-leopard effect,
take a leaf out of Kristin Scott
Thomas’s book: she recently wore an
ankle-length printed skirt with a crisp
white shirt, black sandals and red
lipstick. Not groundbreaking, but
entirely, inarguably chic.
Now to the hunt. Although I missed
out on Ganni’s beautiful skirt, the
Danish brand does have a range of
luxury leopard pieces in stock,
including a long silk shirtdress (£430),
a V-neck georgette blouse with a
ruffled collar (£105) and a long-sleeved
minidress (£120, all ganni.com), which
is not too mini — on the (tall) model
on the website it’s a few inches above
the knee.
Shirt, £88, and mules, £158,
both jcrew.com
The selection at & Other Stories
is more purse-friendly, from the
leopard-print
tapered trousers (£69;
le
only
a plain T-shirt required) to the
o
zebra-striped
blouse (£45, both
z
stories.com).
I’m impressed with
st
Finery’s
zebra-printed jumpsuit (£99,
F
finery.com),
which has various
fi
wearer-friendly
touches: adjustable,
w
wide
w shoulder straps so that you can
wear
a good bra underneath, and
w
a detachable belt. (Why does it feel
like
li a special occasion when a
high
street brand thinks about what
h
women
may find useful?)
w
Looking for something slinky? Try
Lily
L and Lionel’s Frankie Big Cat
blouse
(£145) or short-sleeved Ashley
b
shirt
sh (£180, both lilyandlionel.com),
or
o Zara’s zebra-print camisole dress
(£19.99,
zara.com). For something you
(£
can
c wear all summer, pick up
Topshop’s
belted leopard-print coat
T
(£69,
(£ topshop.com); alas it’s polyester,
so
s won’t provide much warmth come
winter,
but that’s what you get these
w
days
for under 70 quid.
d
Should conventional animal prints
be
b too classic, too predictable for
your
tastes, this season a couple
y
of
o brands have used them as a
jumping-off
point for weird and
ju
wonderful
tweaks. The Copenhagen
w
brand
Baum und Pferdgarten is
b
selling
(alongside the very nice
s
Jefri
leopard pencil skirt, £69) pink
J
twists
on the print in the form of the
tw
Jasbir
frilled T-shirt (£59) and the
J
stretched-out
Casta sweater (£169,
st
all
a baumundpferdgarten.com).
Essentiel
Antwerp has developed
E
a cheerful multicoloured
leopard-print silk that you’ll find
in a bell-sleeved minidress
(£305), a ruffle-bib shirt
(£185), a T-shirt (£175) or
a pleated skirt (£230, all
essentiel-antwerp.com).
Finally, don’t be shy with
it; make yourself known.
Add a bit of a tan if that’s
your thing, and tousled hair
that suggests you approach life with
wild abandon (even if, like me, you
absolutely don’t). When you don’t
feel fierce, you can fake it. Thank
goodness for fashion.
Instagram: @hattiecrisell
t tells you everything you need to
know about LK Bennett, the brand
causing Amber Rudd such grief,
that when you register online
you’re offered 11 choices of title,
including Lady and the Hon. In an
unguarded comment the home
secretary has promised that the
registration process for EU nationals
wanting to stay in the UK after Brexit
will be as easy as setting up an online
account with the high street fashion
brand. Thus did Rudd out herself as
a member of an affluent middle-class
club, whose devotees are, well,
devoted, while the rest of us wonder
what the fuss is all about.
First among equals in the club is
the Duchess of Cambridge, who has
several of LK Bennett’s dresses, is loyal
to one of its clutch bags, and who at
one time used to wear its nude patent
Sledge shoes every time she left the
house. Theresa May is said to be such
a valued customer that the brand has
given her a discount card. She wore an
outfit by LK Bennett for a Vogue shoot
in the months after her £1,000
Amanda Wakeley leather trousers
garnered rather more attention.
If LK Bennett women have children,
they are dressed in Mini Boden.
They buy their towels and sheets from
the White Company, or wish fervently
that they could afford to. They shop,
naturally, at Waitrose, and think
Carole Middleton is a glamorous
granny style icon. They like the brand
because they want clothes, not a
high-fashion statement, because it’s
determinedly un-scary, and because
the first word that springs to mind
when you think about the shops is
beige. They think matching coats and
dresses are a valuable tool in their
wardrobes — and indeed that was
what Mrs May wore in Vogue — and
they find the prices reassuringly
expensive, but not so much that you
can’t pay the school fees.
The hapless Rudd was accused of
trivialising a serious issue and
revealing how detached she is from
real people. Her comment was seen as
a political gaffe of the
magnitude of Ed “two
kitchens” Miliband,
or the time Boris Johnson
described his £250,000
newspaper salary
as chicken feed. But for
a certain type of
woman, no doubt
exactly the sort
of metropolitan,
aspirational
woman the
Conservative
Party needs to
attract, Rudd has
probably played a
blinder. A woman
who wears LK
Bennett is a
woman they can
work with. The
only question is
what title the Rt
Hon Amber Rudd,
MP, ticked when she
registered. My
money’s on “Other”.
6
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Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
fashion
This is denim — but not
as you know it
W
Tailored and flattering, these trousers
will pass muster in the workplace or even
n
at a posh social do, says Anna Murphy
hen is a pair
of denim
trousers
not a pair
of jeans?
In this
extremely
chic
instance, I posit, as conjured up by
LK Bennett (£165, lkbennett.com).
Sleekly tailored in flatteringly fine
cotton denim, with a single suit-style
slit pocket at the rear, these trews are
a world away from the ranch. Paired
with the matching nipped-in,
double-breasted blazer (£275) or the
contrast jacket shown here (£325),
these are “jeans” for people who never
thought they would be seen dead in a
pair. “Jeans” that, for us non-eschewers,
are more than up to the task of
penetrating those last remaining
jeans-free zones: the workplace or a
posh social bash.
Show me an office in which this
most debonair variety of denim
wouldn’t be acceptable and I would
suggest that said workplace is stuck
in the Dark Ages. Show me a summer
do at which ditto and, well, ditto.
There isn’t a smarter pair of trousers
on the high street this season.
And for those of us who worry
(not without reason, to my mind) that
jeans aren’t flattering — these ones
are. Yet they still have that edge of
youthfulness, of cool, that nothing
delivers better than denim.
This is just the latest stop-off on
the remarkable jeans journey. In
which an item of workwear precisely
tooled for the particular requirements
of a very particular variety of working
man — the cowboy — was adopted
as an insignia of rebellion in the 1950s,
then became a default off-duty
uniform for almost everyone, then
was reinvented again as a luxury
item, blinged up and/or reconstructed
by the most highfalutin catwalk
labels around.
One insight as to how far we — or
rather jeans — have come. My mother
recalls wearing a pair when she was
a teenager in Yorkshire in the 1960s
and being asked over and again by the
bemused denizens of Pudsey what
“they” were. “They’re jeans,” she
would answer. “Well, then, why isn’t
Jean wearing them?” would be the
scoffing riposte.
Jeans have become a kind of
uniform, a one-stop way — in a
society obsessed with youth — to
signify youth. They also semaphore
casualness, laid-backness, in an era
when these qualities are similarly
prized. Plus they shed light on the
shifting sands of class. Now it’s about
appearing street, not society, in a way
that my working-class-made-good,
plus-twos-wearing late grandfather
jeans. The new denim is the track
pant. We put ten pairs in our latest
show.” Relatedly, he went on to say,
60 per cent of his brand’s shoe
business is now, er, trainer business.
Indeed, every luxury designer I talk
to says that they cannot churn out
new trainer styles quickly enough.
Whereas denim was originally
burnished with the spirit of the Wild
West, athleisure has risen in part by
way of that 21st-century Wild West
that is Silicon Valley, together with
off-duty Hollywood. It was in these
environs that it first started to be seen
as acceptable — more than that,
desirable — daily attire.
Of course the messaging around
athleisure has an overlap with that of
denim. It’s another manifestation of
those same societal obsessions, with
the add-on that is our fixation on
health, the body beautiful. It’s a way
of indicating that we are fleet of foot,
and not only in the gym; that we are
forward-looking, cutting-edge.
The rise of denim and athleisure
is a reminder that the way we dress
en masse reveals us to ourselves,
should we only deign to examine the
matter. Among other things ours is
a culture that likes to be able to have
its cake and eat it. And the jeans that
aren’t jeans pictured here — smart yet
cool, chic yet hip — offer just that.
Jacket, £325, and
denim trousers, £165,
both LK Bennett
would find
impossible to
understand. (I still
can’t get my head
around the fact
that he bought my
mother those jeans.))
Yet these days denim can
come with a Savile Row price tag, be
as exclusive as any piece of tailored
wool. I’ll wager Grandad Walter
wouldn’t have been the only one to
struggle with that.
But are they on their way out? As
Stefano Gabbana of Dolce & Gabbana
put it to me recently: “If you look at
the new generation, they don’t wear
These days
denim can come
with a Savile
Row price tag
Portraits of the artist as
a young woman
I got to thinking about
uniforms too when
reading the wonderful
new book Seeing
Ourselves: Women’s
Self-Portraits by Frances
Borzello (£18.95, Thames
& Hudson).
As a female artist, for
many centuries the
ultimate anomaly, how
did you present yourself
to the world? Did you
dress like a lady, all swags
of satin and feathered hat, who
just happened to have a palette and
brushes in hand? That was the
approach of Adélaïde Labille-Guiard
in 1785. Or did you make like a man,
as did Hortense Haudebourt-Lescot
40 years later, in artist’s cap and
austere brown tunic?
No wonder so much recent women’s
art — such as Cindy Sherman’s
theatrical selfies — interrogates what
it means to be, to dress, to paint, to
photograph (as) a woman. “Why have
there been no great women artists?”
is the question asked by this season’s
Dior breton, above (£590,
in store only, dior.com). This book
provides the best kind of answer.
Instagram: @annagmurphy
Shirt, £29.99
mango.com
Buy less, buy
have a green
Fast fashion has turned us into
wasteful trend addicts. How to
change? Anna Murphy explains
her ethical dressing strategy
I
am not going to pretend to you
that it’s straightforward, this
sustainable fashion malarky, but
I know you want to hear about it
anyway, because you tell me that
you do. And because I do too.
Most of us are trying to work out
how to be better consumers, be it
of fashion, food, fuel or anything else
you care to mention. And those of us
who aren’t should be. How to love the
planet as well as fashion? By buying
less, obviously. (In the UK a recent
survey estimated that between them
the Brits have £10 billion of clothes
they never use.) And by buying better,
ditto. Yet what that means is tricky.
“Every aspect of a textile, of the
production of a garment, has
complexities,” is how Rebecca Earley
of the Centre for Circular Design, part
of the University of the Arts London,
puts it. “How do you measure
Cotton is a
voracious
consumer
of water.
Recycled
polyester
gets the
thumbs-up
the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
7
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fashion
PIXELEYES
Eileen Fisher
This American label is transparent in
its practices and trailblazing when it
comes to improving them. Particularly
innovative is its Renew collection,
which resells or retools items sent in
by customers. I love the sharp yet soft
blush jacket (£380.56). eileenfisher.com
Filippa K
With a mission to “reduce, repair,
reuse, recycle”, this is another brand
considered top of the pops by
sustainability experts. Recycled
polyester, the “ten years of care
programme” (during which it will treat
or repair any garment) — it’s all in the
impressive detail at this Swedish
set-up. Yet the Katie trouser suit in
zeitgeist salmon looks anything but
po-faced (£345 for the jacket, £215 for
the trousers). filippa-k.com
Shirtdress, £325
dagnylondon.com
Gather & See
Some dialled-down basics, some
statement pieces. What’s not to like?
In the former camp, a cream cotton
organic cotton crew knit (£165), in the
latter a red ribbed-cotton fitted dress
(£110), both from the New Zealand
brand Kowtow. gatherandsee.com
Bikini top, £105, and briefs, £80
Lilliput & Felix at
positiveluxury.com
Blouse, £49.99, trousers,£79.99,
dress, £139.99, in store only
hm.com
better: how to
wardrobe now
sustainability? Where does it start?
Where does it stop?”
Even the lexicon can be confusing.
First it was green. Then it was eco.
Now it’s sustainable. These are terms
that are synonymous, but also
nebulous. The buzzword for the future,
Earley tells me, is circular. “It’s
measurable,” she says. “You either
close the loop or you don’t. This is
what is going to give us a framework
going forward. Using so-called
life-cycle analysis we can determine
that, say, one dress is 40 per cent
better than another.” For the moment
different pressure groups focus on
different aspects of sustainability. Why
no legislation as yet? Because the
issues are so complicated.
Still, “we don’t need legislation to
tell us what good fashion is”, says Dilys
Williams from the London College of
Fashion’s Centre for Sustainable
Fashion. “It’s about a culture change.”
Courtesy of fashion we have become
addicted to buying clothes in a way
that would be unrecognisable to our
perforce abstemious grandparents.
One consideration that may help us to
go cold turkey is whether all this
consuming has made us more stylish.
Absolutely not is the answer. Many of
us have lost our way as a result. As
the red-carpet stylist and sustainable
fashion geek Rebecca Corbin-Murray
says: “People come to me with little
idea of what they like, what suits
them. We’re thrown trends all the time
and we just see what sticks.”
Both Earley and Williams were
consultants to the thought-provoking
Fashioned from Nature exhibition at
the Victoria & Albert Museum in
London (to January 27, see vam.ac.uk).
One of the mainstream assumptions
this show blows apart is the belief that
natural fabrics are always best. Cotton,
for example, is a voracious consumer
of water, but recycled polyester, a
by-product of the petrochemical
industry, gets the thumbs-up.
“The big guys know legislation is
coming,” says Williams. “They are
already sourcing from places
with scarcity of water and other Jacket, £235, trousers, £160
filippa-k.com
resources. They know that they
can’t continue as they are.” For
now there is no single brand
that is a “silver bullet”. But
here are some brands and
websites that are making
a difference. Go forth and
shop, but only if you really
think you need to.
G-Star Raw
Jeans. The wolf in sheep’s —
or rather cowboy’s —
clothing. An average of
8,183 litres of water is
needed to grow enough
cotton to make one
pair, and let’s not
go there with the
dyeing process.
G-Star Raw comes
first in class with its
Raw for the Planet
range, made with
98 per cent recycled
water and a new
indigo with 70 per cent
fewer chemicals. The
dark denim Midge
boyfriend jeans are £125.
g-star.com
Ninety Per Cent
This new British brand is all about
leisurewear designed to put your mind
at ease as well as your body. Materials
and manufacturing are sourced from
best-practice suppliers, and 79 per cent
of the collection is made from
sustainable fibres. The percentage of
profits promised by the brand name
is shared between charities. “We
want to bring together ethics and
aesthetics,” says the co-founder
Shafiq Hassan. Its navy or blush
ruched-sleeve sweatshirt is a typically
upscale take on sofawear (£80).
ninetypercent.com
People Tree
It’s 26 years since this fairtrade
multi-award-winning website
launched. For which: respect.
Respect too for still offering the
widest range of sustainable —
and affordable — fashion around.
I rate the V&A collection, especially
the William-Morris-print fresh
blue Grafton frock (£99).
peopletree.co.uk
Positive Luxury
Shamelessly high end, this website
even has a sustainability council,
which includes high-profile figures
such as Jonathon Porritt, to help to
determine which brands it works
with. Suitably sumptuous labels in
stock include the florals-obsessed
Dagny (I have my eye on its multihue-on-blue organic cotton Gaby
shirt, £175) and the posh-swimwear
specialist Lilliput & Felix (its
retro-check one-piece is £200).
positiveluxury.com
Rêve en Vert
If it’s good enough for film
stars . . . Rebecca Corbin-Murray
names this as one of her go-to
brands for clients such as Emma
Watson, but it’s as strong at offduty as on-carpet. Such as the
cult Californian T-shirt brand
Mainline Basics. A white
crewneck tee is £79.
H&M Conscious
reve-en-vert.com
Skirt, £45, T-shirt,
Sustainable fabric
£45, and dress, £80
The-Acey.Com
innovation is the focus
ninetypercent.com
in this, the seventh
This website was
annual collection. You
founded in 2014
just aren’t anyone
by the fashion
these days if you
pro Holly
haven’t got a dress
Allenby. “I was
made of Econyl, a
repeatedly asked,
regenerated nylon
‘Where can I buy
fibre created
responsibly made
from fishing nets.
clothing without
Something old,
sacrificing style?’
something new,
And I struggled
something
to find an
borrowed,
answer.” Allenby
something
set out to find
green? The white
“innovative,
lacy floorsweeper is ready
conscious”
and waiting for this
brands and her
summer’s ecologically
excellent website
minded bride (£229).
is the result.
hm.com
The aesthetic
is laid-back
Mango Committed
contemporary,
the detail of
If a guilt-free stealthprovenance
wealth vibe is your
anything but
thing, this is the
relaxed. King of
collection for you.
Indigo’s lovely
Think Out of
chambray jumpsuit
Africa meets
for example —
Friday lunchtime
organic cotton
at Cecconi’s in
from Turkey,
savanna shades. The
enzyme washed in
organic cotton khaki
Greece, sewn in
trench is suitably BlixenBulgaria — is £150.
goes-to-Mayfair (£119.99).
the-acey.com
mango.com
8
Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
1G T
arts
Space stations, the
iPad . . . Kubrick
had it all in 2001
As the sci-fi classic hits 50 Oliver Moody looks at the
high-tech it predicted and that which is still to come
S
tanley Kubrick thought
that Arthur C Clarke was
a “nut who lives in a tree”.
Clarke thought that
Kubrick was an “enfant
terrible”. They hit it off
famously. Over four years
in the middle of the 1960s
the American film director and the
scuba-diving British futurist worked
obsessively on what could easily have
been one of the great Hollywood
follies of the 20th century.
Clarke and Kubrick wanted to do
something that no film studio had
cracked in the age of colour cinema:
a big-budget science-fiction film that
could be taken seriously as art as
much as popular entertainment.
The hype built and built. Vogue
magazine ran a breathless special
edition on the “2001 look”, all metallic
moon-trousers with prodigious
pockets. The release date slipped by
two years. The budget overran by
$4.5 million. Eventually the film had its
premiere in April 1968, 50 years ago
this month. It was 161 minutes long
and called 2001: A Space Odyssey.
It is a very, very strange film.
Modern viewers are often put off by its
awkward gait, which alternatingly
hobbles and leaps from the dawn
of human social intelligence to the
cosmic rebirth of an astronaut in
a halogen-lit regency bedroom. It
is as quiet as a cathedral. What
little dialogue there is tends to be
pretty unremarkable, and nearly
all of the good lines are handed to
a mad supercomputer.
The film is so wilfully weird, in
fact, that it is easy to miss how
earnestly it took the business of
predicting the future. Partly this
was for practical reasons. Kubrick
knew that Nasa was racing to put
a man on the moon and did not
want his film to be obsolete by the
When
Apple said
Samsung
had copied
its iPad,
Samsung’s
lawyers
showed the
court 2001
time it came out. He poached as his
technical adviser Frederick Ordway,
who had worked for Nasa’s Future
Projects Office and the notorious
former Nazi rocket engineer Wernher
von Braun.
The elaborate sets at the MGM
studios in Borehamwood in
Hertfordshire were drawn up to
fastidiously realistic specifications.
Kubrick even got his lackeys to
mock up what The New York Times
headlines might look like in the future
(they ranged from “Last Grizzly Bear
dies in Cincinnati Zoo” to “Medicine:
How Much Further the Age Limit?
Are 125 Years Enough?”).
Yet it was also thanks to Clarke’s
visionary knack for futurology. For
all his interest in the broad tides of
history and the human heart, or
perhaps because of it, Clarke looked
deeper and farther into the future than
almost any other thinker of his age.
He saw mobile phones, smartwatches,
communications satellites, emails and
search engines coming a mile off. He
intuited the possibilities of online
banking, ecommerce and remote
surgery decades before the internet.
Some of 2001’s predictions were
so far-sighted that we are only
now beginning to digest their
implications. Perhaps the most
precise tribute to the film was paid
by the director Ridley Scott, who
said in 2007: “After 2001, science
fiction is dead.”
2001 expert Piers Bizony pointed out
in his book on the making of the film,
they were designed by a former Nasa
illustrator and closely based on leading
technology. Boeing’s new Starliner
spacesuits, which will be used on the
International Space Station, are much
closer to their 2001 predecessors in
their slim-fit and colourful design.
branch of the Hilton chain. Even the
“picture phone” is operated by AT&T.
This was more than gratuitous
product placement: it anticipated an
age in which Elon Musk’s SpaceX and
the Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’s space
company, Blue Origin, may assume
almost as much importance as Nasa.
Successful predictions
The iPad
In 2011 Apple sued Samsung for
allegedly copying the design of its
tablet computer. Samsung’s lawyers
presented the court with a clip from
2001 in which a pair of astronauts are
clearly using iPad-like rectangles
dominated by a touchscreen, in a
scene shot more than 40 years before
the first iPad was manufactured.
Computer graphics
At the start of the 1960s a computer
was still a human mathematician with
a pen and paper. It was far from
obvious that the clunking banks of
tapes and flashing lights would one
day have television-like screens with
stylised displays of information. Yet
2001 not only predicted the advent of
the computer graphic, it even got the
16:9 aspect ratio right.
Spacesuits
At first glance the ribbed, figurehugging orange environment
suits from 2001 look more like
something you would find inside
a Kinder Surprise than any of the
kit used in the moon landings.
Yet, as the space historian and
Private companies in space
In 1968 the space race was a straight
fight between two global superpowers,
tussling for the future of civilisation. In
2001, though, the space shuttle is run
by Pan Am, a now-defunct airline
company, and the space hotel is a
Space station
The first semi-permanent human
habitat in space, the Soviet Salyut 1
space station, was not launched until
three years after the release of 2001.
Nasa’s Skylab followed in 1973.
However, if you walk around the
Entertainments
Theatres
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the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
9
1G T
arts
CORBIS VIA GETTY IMAGES; SPACEX/EPA; OLEKSIY MAKSYMENKO/GETTY IMAGES; DOUG GRIFFIN/GETTY IMAGES
The man who was Hal — and
why he never saw the film
‘I
Above: Gary Lockwood
in 2001: A Space
Odyssey. Left: the Tesla
Roadster car launched
with SpaceX’s Falcon
Heavy rocket this year.
Below: Hal 9000. Far
left: the Apple iPad 3G
back-up version in the National Air
and Space Museum in Washington
you can see how astonishingly poky
it is in comparison to the grandeur of
Kubrick’s designs. We have yet to build
anything that can match the space
station in 2001.
Not quite there yet
Hal 9000
At the time, the supercomputer
would have seemed one of the least
outlandish details in the film. Marvin
Minsky, Kubrick’s chief artificial
intelligence (AI) adviser, predicted
that by the end of the 1970s scientists
would have developed a machine with
the cognitive capabilities of a human.
This was wildly wrong. After a brief
spell of optimism AI research fell into
a winter for decades and has only
recently begun to recover. Today’s
learning machines can perform
extraordinary feats, mastering arcade
games they have never seen before
and besting world champions at
chess and Go. Yet the sort of truly
autonomous intelligence that Hal
possesses remains elusive.
Artificial gravity
Kubrick had a 27-tonne centrifuge
12m (40ft) across built on the
outskirts of London to represent
the interior of the Discovery
spacecraft. The idea is that the
outward force of the spinning
drum will anchor its inhabitants
and their possessions to the
floor, much as gravity does on
Earth. The only reason that we
haven’t tried this in space is that
we haven’t had any need to. Some
experts think, though, that a
Discovery-like spaceship equipped
with artificial gravity could be the best
way to get astronauts to Mars.
Moon base
Our last visit to the moon was in 1972.
We have left only a handful of relics,
including a US flag, a golf ball and a
little metal figurine. The European
Space Agency has outlined plans to
build a lunar research and mining
facility that would act as a staging post
for journeys to other planets, much as
2001 envisaged. But perhaps without
the thrumming alien monolith.
’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I
can’t do that. This mission is
too important for me to allow
you to jeopardise it.”
The unmistakable voice of
Hal, the brilliant but murderous
computer who turns on his human
master in 2001: A Space Odyssey, has
influenced how we think artificial
intelligence should sound. Measured,
authoritative, strangely serene, Hal’s
tones can be heard in Amazon’s
Alexa and Apple’s Siri. Whatever one
thinks of the film, he exists outside it,
indelible but endlessly fluid.
Hal was played by Douglas Rain,
a consummate Shakespearean actor
who studied at the Bristol Old Vic
and commanded the stage for almost
50 years at the prestigious Stratford
Festival in his native Canada.
Imagine if Obi-Wan Kenobi were
the only one of Alec Guinness’s roles
that we remembered. (Rain was
understudy for Guinness in a
production of Richard III in 1953.)
The self-effacing Rain, who turns
90 next month, is best known for a
role that he wasn’t intentionally
hired for and wasn’t interested in
doing. In fact, he has never seen
2001: A Space Odyssey — the theatre
is what mattered to him. He retired
in the late 1990s and has almost
never spoken about Hal. He stopped
giving interviews a few years ago.
When I spoke to him in 2014 he
said: “If you could have been a ghost
at the recording, you would have
thought it was a load of rubbish.”
I’ve kept the voicemail that Rain
left for me when I first contacted
him. I couldn’t help but hear Hal in
the recording, but the precision,
control and elegance were all Rain’s.
When we spoke a few days later I
told him I thought his performance
was the greatest voiceover in cinema
history, but he was having none of it.
How very Canadian of him.
In late 1967 Stanley Kubrick and
Rain, after one short preparatory
meeting, sat a few feet apart in a
studio at MGM Borehamwood in
Hertfordshire to record Hal’s lines.
Rain, 39 at the time, hadn’t seen the
script or met any of his co-stars
(their scenes had been shot a year
before, and Hal’s lines were
shouted to them from off-camera
by, among others, a cockney
assistant director). He hadn’t
even been hired as an actor, but
to narrate an explanatory
prologue, which Kubrick later
decided to dispense with.
Hal’s dialogue had been
originally recorded more than a
year before by Martin Balsam,
who played the detective in Psycho,
but Kubrick, according to Rain, said:
“I’m having trouble with what I’ve
got in the can. Would you play the
computer?” So he did.
Kubrick had seen Rain in Universe,
a documentary about astronomy by
the National Film Board of Canada
that the actor narrated. Kubrick told
an interviewer that he “had some
difficulty deciding exactly what Hal
should sound like”, ultimately feeling
that Balsam sounded too American.
But he felt that Rain “had the kind of
bland mid-Atlantic accent we felt was
right for the part”.
Douglas Rain in Ontario, in 1968,
the year of 2001: A Space Odyssey
Kubrick gave Rain only a few notes
of direction, including, “Sound a
little more like it’s a peculiar
request”, “Just try it closer and more
depressed”, “Even softer and kind of
in the depths”.
The seeming sparseness of Rain’s
performance as Hal disguises the
craft and virtuosity that had already
distinguished his career. His voice
was his first acting tool; he was a
child actor on Canadian radio in the
1930s. He appeared often on the
West End stage alongside such stars
as Peter Finch and Joan Plowright
and was nominated for a Tony in
1972. His artistic home, though, was
the Stratford Festival, the renowned
rep theatre festival in Ontario. There
he played a rich range of characters
in more than 75 productions, from
Macbeth to Iago, d’Artagnan to
Humpty Dumpty.
Rain’s friend the theatre and
television producer Bill Freedman
says he “chose not to do film work.
He didn’t like phonies. He’s a man of
huge integrity, sometimes not to his
own advantage. The idea of traipsing
off to Hollywood would not have
interested him. The Hal role wasn’t
important to him as an actor.” In
1965, when Rain was playing a very
different Hal, the prince in Henry IV,
he said that he loved doing it because
he understood the character’s
evolution. “It’s marvellous to be able
to work a character through from
beginning to end.”
Shortly after recording Hal for
Kubrick he started rehearsals for
something much more to his taste
and experience: a BBC production of
Shakespeare’s The Tempest, in which
he played the frequently drunken
butler Stephano.
His friend Martha Henry, herself
an acclaimed Stratford performer
and director, says Rain’s stage
performances were “magnificent,
but he always shied away from them
slightly. He loved the rehearsal
process. He wasn’t that interested
in performing.”
There was little time for reflection
in 2001, and none for rehearsal. It
was all done in ten hours, but what
was just a job for Rain will linger for
immeasurably longer.
By Gerry Flahive, a writer and film
producer in Toronto; @gflahive
10
1G T
Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
television & radio
Sharp suits — shame the dialogue doesn’t match
SOPHIE MUTEVELIAN/BBC/SISTER PICTURES
James
Jackson
TV review
The Split
BBC One
{{{((
Fatberg Autopsy
Channel 4
{{{((
A
good divorce makes great
TV, and as we enter the
silly season around Harry
and Meghan’s nuptials
(when the world will lean
in as the archbishop asks if anyone
knows any reason why they should
not be joined . . .) what better than a
hot new drama about a family of
divorce lawyers swimming in the
bloody waters of modern marriage?
Abi Morgan’s The Split, however, is
so far a bit like the mighty US drama
The Good Wife lathered by a bar of
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Mythos
Radio 4, 2.15pm
The Split’s Nicola Walker
(see above) also stars in
this paranormal drama set
in a village in Essex where
deaths from heart failure
have risen to seven times
the national average.
Perhaps they knew that
Walker was coming and
decided to jump before they
were pushed, for Walker is
best known for Spooks, a
programme with alarmingly
high mortality rates. Walker
is so believable an actress
that she recently managed
to make even David Hare’s
script for Collateral sound
plausible. The script for this,
written by the awardwinning Julian Simpson,
promises to be a bit better.
Outlook in New York
World Service, 12.06pm
As a young girl, Dr Mae
Jemison always imagined
that she would go into space
and be a scientist on Mars.
As an adult, having
graduated from medical
school, she rang the
Johnson Space Center and
said: “I would like
an application to be an
astronaut . . . They didn’t
laugh.” In this programme
Joe Pascal interviews the
hugely likeable Jemison,
the first African-American
woman in space.
Kay Mellor soap — sharp-suited, but
mushy underneath. And in its bid to
entertain a big audience, episode one
had to set up everything with dialogue
that was one part smart comebacks to
two parts amusing exposition.
Take this exchange between ruthless
mother, Ruth, and racy daughter,
Nina. Mum: “Today you’re facing your
sister Hannah . . .” Nina: “. . . Who’s still
pissed off because you didn’t stand
down and let her take over the firm
like you promised.” It gets right to it.
Shrewd-eyed Ruth (a nice turn by
Deborah Findlay) is the “doyenne of
family law, according to The Times”,
but it’s eldest daughter Hannah at the
centre of the goings-on, played not by
Hermione Norris, but a slicker than
usual Nicola Walker. Because Hannah
betrayed the family business to join a
big rival, she is now vying with Ruth
and Nina. So Nina was nicking a client
off Hannah, then Hannah was taking
out her anger at her during a delicate
divorce negotiation, while also looking
halfway to rekindling an affair with a
dishy ex. So not that slick, then.
All professional skirmishes, though,
were left at the door in the evenings,
when we were instead invited to feel
lifestyle envy at Hannah’s and Ruth’s
capacious London homes, while
hearing aphoristic words of wisdom
(“In life men will come and go. The
only relationship really worth having
is the one you have with yourself”).
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Breakfast Show 10.00 Clara Amfo
12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00
Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The 8th 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Benji B 3.00 Radio 1
Comedy 4.00 Early Breakfast Show
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Amol Rajan 7.00 The Folk Show 8.00 Jo
Whiley. Blossoms perform 10.00 Dog Days
10.30 What If? 11.00 Old Grey Whistle Test
40 (r) 12.00 Pick of the Pops (r) 2.00am
Radio 2 Playlists 5.00 Nicki Chapman
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show. Including 7.00, 8.00 News.
7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
With guest Sir Peter Bazalgette
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Strozzi (1619-1677)
Donald Macleod explores the life and music
of Barbara Strozzi, who was an important
composer of Italian cantatas in the 17th
century and was known for her capabilities
as a singer. Strozzi (Noiosa lontananza:
Dimmi dove sei, Op 2 No 13; Se volete cosi
me ne content, Op 6 No 18; Cantata: Amante
ravveduto: Chiudi l’audaci labra, Op 6 No 14;
Moralita’ amorosa, Op 3 No 2; A donna bella
e crudele, Op 3 No 4; Lamento: Appresso a i
molli argenti, Op 7 No 2; Dal pianto de gli
amanti scherniti s’imparò à far la carta, Op 1
No 21; and L’Affetto humano, Op 1 No 7) (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Sarah Walker presents the second of four
concerts of songs by Tchaikovsky and his
influences from last Saturday’s BBC Radio 3
Big Chamber Day at Saffron Hall in Essex.
Featuring Anush Hovhannisyan, Caitlin
Hulcup, Alessandro Fisher and Ashley Riches
2.00 Afternoon Concert (Live)
Georgia Mann presents the BBC
Philharmonic, from its home at
MediaCityUK Salford. Duncan Ward
conducts an all French programme with
Christine Rice (mezzo). Berlioz (Overture:
Roman Carnival); Ravel (Sheherazade);
and Louise Farrenc (Symphony No 3)
Annabel Scholey and Nicola Walker in Abi Morgan’s The Split
3.30 Choral Evensong (Live)
From Guildford Cathedral on the feast of
Mark the Evangelist. Introit: Laetabitur
iustus (Zelenski). Responses: Radcliffe.
Psalm 45 (Alcock). First Lesson: Ezekiel 1 vv
4-14. Office Hymn: While Christ’s Disciples
(Plainsong). Canticles: Bairstow in D. Second
Lesson: 2 Timothy 4 vv 1-11. Anthem: The
Spirit of the Lord (Elgar). Hymn: The Saint
Who First Found Grace to Pen (Brockham).
Voluntary: Sonata in G, Op 28 (Andante
espressivo) (Elgar). Organist and Master of
the Choristers: Katherine Dienes-Williams.
Sub-Organist: Richard Moore
4.30 BBC Young Musician 2018
Georgia Mann presents highlights from this
year’s Young Musician brass finalists
5.00 In Tune
Roderick Williams and Christopher Glynn
perform live in the studio. Plus, the pianist
Luca Buratto performs ahead of his concerto
performance with the London Philharmonic
Orchestra. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An eclectic non-stop mix of music, featuring
old favourites together with lesser-known
gems, featuring music for orchestra, piano,
fiddle, player piano and Moog synthesiser
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert (Live)
In a concert called Notes of Nostalgia, James
Feddeck conducts the orchestra in a
programme of Britten, Dvorak and Strauss.
Daniel Müller-Schott is soloist in Dvorak’s
Cello Concerto. Though written while he was
in America the concerto is filled with the
spirit of Bohemia. And then Strauss’s Death
and Transfiguration, a tone poem which
describes the last moments of an artist as he
looks back on his life. Presented by Martin
Handley, live from the Lighthouse in Poole.
Daniel Müller-Schott (cello), Bournemouth
Symphony Orchestra, conductor James
Feddeck. Britten (Sea Interludes — Peter
Grimes); Dvorak (Cello Concerto); Strauss
(Death and Transfiguration)
10.00 Free Thinking
David Peace, Natasha Pulley, Yuna Tasaka
and Jasper Sharp join Rana Mitter for an
exploration of the writing of Akutagawa,
which led to the 1950 film by Akira Kurosawa
10.45 The Essay: Dark Blossoms
Christopher Harding examines how
Buddhism was reimagined in early 20th
century Japan in the service of militarism
and nationalism. Thinkers like Inoue Enryo
turned “philosophical somersaults to
find a basis in Buddhism for war”
11.00 Late Junction
Nick Luscombe is joined by the improviser
instrument builder Toshimaru Nakamura
to share experimental Japanese music.
Part of Night Blossoms on BBC Radio 3
12.30am Through the Night (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
With Martha Kearney and Nick Robinson
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Soul Music
People reflect on the impact the Beach Boys
God Only Knows had on their lives (4/5)
9.30 The History of Secrecy
A look at the importance of secrecy
within the family (4/5) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week: Sharp:
The Women Who Made an
Art of Having an Opinion
By Michelle Dean. A profile of the inquisitive
and fearlessly outspoken essayist Susan
Sontag, whose work includes the
groundbreaking Notes on Campus (3/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Including at 10.41 the 15 Minute Drama:
part three of the fourth series of the
comedy drama Curious Under the Stars
10.56 The Listening Project
Friends reflect on the changes in one’s life
since a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease
11.00 Imperial Echo
Jonny Dymond traces the often uneven
history of the Commonwealth (r)
11.30 Big Problems with Helen Keen
Peter Serafinowicz, Susy Kane and Helen
Keen investigate boredom (4/4) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Sarah Daniels
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Chinese Characters
A profile of the Chinese author, Lu Xun
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Mythos
By Julian Simpson. Lairre and Parker and
their boss Johnson travel to Glamis Castle
to investigate a secret room with a
secret door. See Radio Choice (2/3)
3.00 Money Box Live
Financial questions
3.30 All in the Mind
Featuring the first of the nine finalists for
the All in the Mind Awards 2018 (1/10) (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
The Split is sassy all right and its
themes are rich for exploration, but its
mix of sharpness and heart could turn
out to be a strength or a weakness.
You just hope Harry and Meg will
have been laughing at such lines as:
“Divorce shouldn’t be easy. It’s there to
remind you that however bad it is in
that godawful state called ‘marriage’,
getting out will be an even greater hell.”
Fatberg Autopsy was a no-holdsbarred look at the congealed masses of
fat, wet wipes and human waste that
are clogging up sewers. And in the
spirit of the programme’s mission to
revolt us, here’s a morning poll (to be
taken after, and definitely not during,
your cornflakes). Which do you find
the most repulsive quote: “There’s
always a lot of sweetcorn in there; if
it’s not chewed properly it just kind of
holds form”? Or: “In his hurry, a
flusher has splashed raw sewage into
his eye.” And I’m sparing you the
worst — this programme revelled in
the revolting like no other.
But as Rick Edwards, the “Howard
Carter of shit”, learnt some really quite
important findings about what’s being
put down our toilets, one thing
became as clear as freshly filtered tap
water. The men going under the streets
to battle these foul monstrosities are
rescuing our cities from becoming
overflowing cesspits. Fatberg flushers
of Britain, we salute you.
james.jackson@thetimes.co.uk
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Sketchtopia
Multicultural sketch show hosted
by Hardeep Singh Kohli (4/4)
7.00 The Archers
Emma makes a breakthrough
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 Curious Under the Stars
By Annamaria Murphy (3/20)
8.00 Unreliable Evidence
Clive Anderson and guests ask if public
inquiries are worth the huge investment
of time and resources (4/4)
8.45 Four Thought
A thought-provoking talk
9.00 Costing the Earth
Peter Gibbs reports on the biggest dam
removal project in Europe (r)
9.30 Soul Music (4/5) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Ritula Shah
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Nikesh Shukla
— The One Who Wrote Destiny
By Nikesh Shukla (8/10)
11.00 Six Degrees of John Sessions
The actor John Sessions tells entertaining
stories linked to him (2/4)
11.15 The John Moloney Show
John battles with being kept on hold while
changing utilities provider (3/4) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Analysis of the day’s developments
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week: Sharp:
The Women Who Made an Art of
Having an O inion (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 Round the
Horne 9.00 The Write Stuff 9.30 Life, Death
and Sex with Mike and Sue 10.00 The Idiot
11.00 Grounded 11.15 Forest Tales 12.00
The Navy Lark 12.30pm Round the Horne
1.00 Rogue Justice 1.30 Balalaika Born
Again 2.00 Expo 58 2.15 Shakespeare’s
Restless World 2.30 Good News 2.45 Catch
Me If You Can 3.00 The Idiot 4.00 The Write
Stuff 4.30 Life, Death and Sex with Mike
and Sue 5.00 Ring Around the Bath 5.30
Sketchtopia 6.00 The Man Who Was
Thursday 6.30 The Tingle Factor 7.00 The
Navy Lark. Comedy with Jon Pertwee
7.30 Round the Horne. Comedy with Kenneth
Horne, Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams
8.00 Rogue Justice. Michael Jayston reads
from the thriller by Geoffrey Household
8.30 Balalaika Born Again 9.00 Grounded.
Are You Listening? by Laura Beatty 9.15
Forest Tales. The Tale of Three Beds by Colin
Haydn Evans. Originally broadcast in 1996
10.00 Comedy Club: Sketchtopia 10.30 The
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: The
Secondary Phase 10.55 The Comedy Club
Interview 11.00 As Told to Craig Brown
11.30 The Consultants. Comedy sketches
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show with Anna Foster 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5
Live Sport. Build-up to Bayern Munich v Real
Madrid 7.45 5 Live Sport: Champions League
Football 2017-18 — Bayern Munich v Real
Madrid (Kick-off 7.45) Commentary on the
semi-final first-leg encounter at the Allianz
Arena 10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All
Night 5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with David Ginola 10.00 Jim White, Tony
Cascarino and Bob Mills 1.00pm Rushden
and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe
12.00 6 Music Recommends 1.00am
Classic Albums 2.00 Classic Scottish Albums
2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30 6 Music’s
Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00
The Full Works Concert. Jane Jones the
celebration of the best recordings of 2018 so
far. Beethoven (Piano Concerto No.2 in B-Flat
Op 19); Fauré (Après un rêve Op 7 No.1);
Brahms (Symphony No.2 in D Op 73); Oliver
Davis (Spiral); and Handel (Concerto in F)
10.00 Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
11
1G T
JOHAN PERSSON; GERAINT LEWIS; MARILYN KINGWILL
Concert
ROH Orchestra/Pappano
Covent Garden
Theatre
Rasheeda Speaking
Trafalgar Studios, SW1
N
W
{{(((
ight after night the Royal
Opera House’s orchestra
proves its qualities in the
pit. So I can understand
why, as Antonio Pappano
said when he introduced this concert,
his players should get an annual
chance to shine on the stage.
Unfortunately the outcome was
far from lustrous. Under a wooden
acoustic shell the band sounded tinny.
For half the programme it was
confined to accompanying a singer,
just like normal. And when it was
put in the limelight, in Strauss’s
Metamorphosen for 23 solo strings
and Elgar’s Enigma Variations, the
results fell far short of what London’s
symphony orchestras routinely offer
in the same repertoire.
In the case of the Elgar,
embarrassingly so — although I blame
Pappano more than the players. It
takes a certain sort of perverse talent
to select the wrong tempos in at least
10 of the 14 variations, but the scrappy
ensemble, nervous fluffs and poor
balances also suggested insufficient
rehearsal. The Strauss was better
played, although again too fast for
the luscious polyphony to register
properly, and the first violinist was too
prominent in the overall sound, lovely
timbre though he has.
As for the rest of the programme,
that was the Christian Gerhaher show.
True, the German baritone has many
admirers, but what a peculiarly
esoteric choice of repertoire. First
came Frank Martin’s grim Sechs
Monologe aus Jedermann, the sort
of morbid, mediocre angst that (as
Dostoevsky put it) makes you want to
kill either yourself or your neighbour.
That was followed by Shostakovich’s
tepid, money-for-old-rope
orchestrations of Eight British and
American Folk Songs, in which the only
interesting thing was Gerhaher’s brave
attempt at a Scottish accent for the
Robert Burns settings.
In the interests of fairness I must
report that some of the audience
were cheering at the end. I bet the
players were glad to get back to the
pit, though.
Richard Morrison
{{{{(
The cast of Drew McOnie’s production give it their all, but the show isn’t a patch on Baz Luhrmann’s film
Make it a movie night
This musical
reimagining
of the film is
cartoonish and
a bit desperate,
says Dominic
Maxwell
Theatre
Strictly
Ballroom
Piccadilly Theatre,
W1
{{(((
Lucinda Lawrence and Nicola Munns as young Beryl and Sandra
Theatre
Liver Birds
Flying Home
Royal Court,
Liverpool
{{(((
T
artsfirst night
hanks to Scouse flatmates
Beryl (the sparky blonde)
and Sandra (the “posh”
brunette), Carla Lane’s
career took off. The Liver
Birds, co-created by Lane and Myra
Taylor, made its first TV appearance in
1969 and ran for a decade. Lane went
on to further sitcom success, with
W
hen a smart producer
added the first word
of Baz Luhrmann’s
breakthrough film
Strictly Ballroom to
an old format called Come Dancing,
the resulting hybrid became one of
the greatest television hits of the
21st century. Can this musical
reimagining of the 1992 Australian
romantic comedy keep dancing — or
singing, or sashaying, or goofing
around — in quite the same
world-beating way? I can’t see it.
The cast of Drew McOnie’s
production give it their all as they tell
the story of a hotshot young maverick
dancer, his rookie new dancing
partner and the ballroom competition
he wants to win — but strictly on his
own terms. You wish they’d give it a
little less, though. It’s hard to be
amused by a show so desperate to
amuse. Right from the start, when
Will Young as the commandingly
camp host-narrator sings a medley
of Let’s Dance and Let’s Groove,
nothing is lingered on long enough to
register. The result is cluttered and
restless. It’s a cartoon.
Young tells us that we are going
back to a time in Australia when
things were not so “carefree and gay”.
Yet it’s hard to buy into the conflict
between our free-thinking hero, Scott
(Jonny Labey), and those who want
him to do only the “strictly ballroom”
moves because there is so little sense
of the strictures he is reacting against.
Instead, everything on Soutra
Gilmour’s set is mobile and colourful.
Young is forever guiding us into one
appropriate-sounding Eighties hit or
another (I Wanna Dance With
Somebody, I’m So Excited). The script
by Luhrmann and Craig Pearce gives
a few smart lines. Too often, though,
faces are pulled to oversell them. You
imagine McOnie urging his cast to
“act funny!” Young is gorgeous on the
ballads, less distinctive when a song
needs more edge, such as on Billy
Idol’s Dancing With Myself. Labey is
a strong, sinewy presence as Scott; Zizi
Strallen is lively as his partner, Fran.
Whether you’ve seen the film or not,
though, you’ll rarely be surprised by
anything that happens here. The best
scene is one that dares to spend some
time on a simple idea: Fran’s suspicious
Spanish dad, Rico (Fernando Mira),
shows Scott what a real paso doble
looks like. And his impassioned
one-man masterclass sprouts into a
full-on production number. Glorious.
The story gathers momentum as it
heads to its finale. Yet while you can
feel the love and dance stories joining
their hips with technical efficiency at
the end, it never goes beneath
anyone’s skin, never shows any real
passion. Some persuasive moments,
but overall it’s strictly so-so.
Box office: 0844 8717630, to Oct 20
Butterflies and Bread among others. In
1996 the BBC brought the Birds back
in a series reboot. It flopped.
Perhaps the team behind this new
musical, which attempts something
similar, should have taken note. With
songs by Barb Jungr and Mike Lindup
of Level 42, the show lacks any sense
of purpose. It’s amiably nostalgic, a
sentimental, rose-tinted love letter to
Liverpool and to the past. Our girls
appear to have grown up into a pair of
middle-aged walking clichés. Despite
likeable performances, Benji Sperring’s
production never gets airborne.
The book, by Jungr, George Seaton
and Linda McDermott, has the women
reunited in the present day in the
city where they met. Beryl (Lesley
Molony) is now the glamorous owner
of a biscuit company, which she runs
with her son Con; Sandra (Joanna
Monro) is visiting from Canada to sort
out her late mother’s affairs. When
chance brings them together, fond
memories resurface — as do secrets
and recriminations. Themes of love,
loss, family and friendship bob about
like flotsam on the Mersey. Flashbacks
to Sandra and Beryl’s hard-up 1970s
glory days play out across Mark
Walters’s cross-section, two-storey
house set. These inject some of the
original TV comedy’s verve and
provide a poignant counterpoint to
the women’s present compromises and
heartbreak, with Nicola Munns and
Lucinda Lawrence as their bright-eyed
twentysomething selves.
Mark Rice-Oxley zips with brio
between the roles of Con and Billy,
young Beryl’s feckless boyfriend. The
poppy score has a gentle period
flavour with a hint of Bacharach, and
Jungr’s lyrics reference everything
from the three-day week to feminism
and the property boom. Eventually,
though, it all disintegrates into a soapy
mush. Mildly entertaining — but
strictly for the birds.
Sam Marlowe
Box office: 0151 709 4321, to May 12
hen Joel Drake
Johnson’s neat, witty
90-minute play was
first performed in
Chicago, Donald
Trump was still three years away from
becoming president. A fact that will
strike you as remarkable during the
depressingly topical Rasheeda Speaking
— it is as explicit a postcard from
Trump’s Divided America as you
could imagine. In it, a white surgeon
attempts to sack a black employee. He
thinks she’s unprofessional, she thinks
he’s racist. They’re both correct.
Dr David Williams (Bo Poraj,
dripping with golf club privilege) wants
shot of Jaclyn — “Jackie” he insists on
calling her, “like Jackie Kennedy” —
even though she has been working in
his small office for only six months.
He claims she is unhappy and has
a bad attitude, both of which, to some
degree, we see to be true. Yet the
surgeon’s real agenda seeps out.
Jaclyn is “angry” and full of
“resentment”. “She doesn’t belong in
this office,” he says. He blanches at
the words “race card”, but then agrees
vehemently that Jaclyn will use it.
Tanya Moodie’s performance as
Jaclyn is an absolute peach. When she
Tanya Moodie sets fire to the stage
as Jaclyn in Rasheeda Speaking
eventually bursts into the office she
brings with her a magnificent energy
and presence, an exuberance that
seems to sting the nostrils of her
white colleagues.
It is clear that her face doesn’t fit.
Drake Johnson’s cleverest trick is to
make Jaclyn an HR department’s
nightmare. She obsesses about
“toxins” in the air damaging her
health; she is extraordinarily rude to
at least one patient we see; and she
expresses decidedly un-PC opinions
of her own when discussing her
Mexican neighbours. It is her
blackness, however, that seems to
offend Dr Williams.
Elizabeth Berrington provides
excellent support as Jaclyn’s
Machiavellian line manager. It isn’t
her fault that the character lurches
from delightful nuance — just whose
side is she on? — towards frantic
parody near the end. A blip in
Jonathan O’Boyle’s otherwise deft
production. Any cracks, however, are
papered over by Moodie, who sets fire
to the stage as Jaclyn moves from
repressed underling to vindictive
mischief-maker. Here is America as
one nation, divisible.
Chris Bennion
Box office: 0844 8717615, to May 12
12
1G T
Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Britain’s Fat Fight
BBC One, 9pm
According
to the
Organisation
for Economic
Co-operation and
Development, obesity
rates in the UK have
doubled over the past
two decades — 63 per
Early
Top
pick
cent of UK adults are
overweight. In another
study, published in The
Lancet, one in ten young
people in the UK aged 5
to 19 is estimated to be
obese. Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall, who
tonight starts a fourpart series investigating
the obesity epidemic,
finds that the condition
is a leading cause of
premature death in the
UK — and the cost of
treating it is crippling
the NHS. Yet it’s a crisis
that we can all do
something about,
especially with
Fearnley-Whittingstall
in such a determined
mood. The crusading
chef challenges some of
the world’s leading food
companies, including
Nestlé and Kellogg’s, to
adopt the traffic-light
labelling system, and
takes a group of
children shopping to
show how the big
brands target them
with unhealthy foods.
With Dr Giles Yeo he
explores how the
takeaway boom,
proliferation of high
street fast-food outlets
and availability of
convenience food is
tempting us to eat more
junk. In a publicity
stunt he challenges the
population of Newcastle
to see how much weight
they can lose in a year.
Fearnley-Whittingstall
is certain that we
haven’t gone beyond
the point of no return,
but a visit to a deprived
area of Newcastle,
where a whole
generation seems
to thinks that fresh
vegetables are too
much trouble, is a
stark reminder of how
serious the problem is.
The Secret
Life of the Zoo
Channel 4, 8pm
Like most married
couples, the
relationship between
Chester Zoo’s okapis,
Dicky and Stuma, has
its ups and downs. They
are experiencing a bit
of a lull, with Stuma
more interested in
what’s for dinner than
Dicky’s half-hearted
attempts to woo her.
Their keeper, Gareth, is
worried that “they’ve
fallen into the friend
zone” and decides to
separate them to see
if absence makes the
heart grow fonder. We
are also taken into the
mysterious life of the
beautiful atlas moth
and follow the progress
of the zoo’s first litter
of endangered African
painted dogs.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Food. The team
investigate a door-to-door pots and pans scam that has
left one cook hundreds of pounds out of pocket 10.00
Homes Under the Hammer. Properties in London, the
Welsh Valleys and Greater Manchester (r) (AD) 11.00
Heir Hunters. The team tracks down family members who
could inherit a substantial windfall 11.45 The Housing
Enforcers. Matt gets suited and booted to investigate a
flea-infested property 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Teams
seek items in Brackley, Northamptonshire (r) (AD) 1.00
BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather 1.45 Doctors. Mrs Tembe is taken hostage while
visiting a potential alternative site for the Campus (AD)
2.15 800 Words. George finally asks Kate out on a date
(AD) 3.00 Escape to the Country. Nicki Chapman searches
for a property in the Shropshire countryside (r) (AD) 3.45
Flipping Profit. Roo Irvine, Danny Sebastian and Kevin
Paxton head to the Scottish Borders to search for
bargains (AD) 4.30 Flog It! Paul Martin presents from
Crowcombe Court in Somerset 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show
hosted by Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30 Heir Hunters (r)
7.15 Rip Off Britain: Food (r) 8.00 Sign Zone: Great
British Railway Journeys (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria
Derbyshire 10.00 Live Snooker: The World Championship.
Day five gets under way at the Crucible, with the match
between Mark Williams and Jimmy Robertson set to
reach a conclusion, and John Higgins v Thepchaiya
Un-Nooh beginning 11.30 Daily Politics. The day’s
political news, interspersed with discussions and
interviews, presented by Andrew Neil 1.00pm Live
Snooker: The World Championship. Hazel Irvine presents
coverage of the second session on day five at the Crucible
Theatre in Sheffield, featuring Judd Trump v Chris
Wakelin and Neil Robertson v Robert Milkins. Trump
begins his campaign against qualifier Wakelin as he
aims to win the famous trophy for the first time in his
career, while 2010 champion Neil Robertson plays the
final session of his match against The Milkman 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz show (r) 6.30 Britain in Bloom. Chris
Bavin heads to the Wiltshire market town of Melksham,
as he meets a group who have entered the annual flower
competition for five years, but never won gold
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current
affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories,
cooking and gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio
chat show 10.30 This Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly
Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen 12.30pm Loose Women. Another
helping of topical studio discussion from a female
perspective, featuring an interview with Chris Packham
1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder. Cameras
follow criminal barrister Robert Rinder as he takes on
real-life cases in a studio courtroom 3.00 Tenable. A team
of Doctor Who fans from Liverpool compete to answer
questions about top 10 lists, then try to score a perfect
10 in the final round. Quiz hosted by Warwick Davis 4.00
Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed
quiz show in which contestants drop tokens down a choice
of four chutes in the hope of winning a £10,000 jackpot
5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents the quiz 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.25 Party Election Broadcast.
By the Green Party 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
10.05 Ramsay’s Hotel Hell. Gordon Ramsay helps a
struggling hotel and restaurant in Massachusetts (r) (AD)
11.00 Undercover Boss USA. The President and COO of
Rollins Incorporated works incognito (r) 12.00 Channel 4
News Summary 12.05pm Coast vs Country. A couple
search the Isle of Wight for a new home (r) (AD) 1.05
Posh Pawnbrokers. A large bronze sculpture leaves Dan
stumped (r) 2.10 Countdown. With Chris Packham in
Dictionary Corner 3.00 A Place in the Sun: Home or Away.
A home in Dorset or Spain (r) 4.00 Escape to the
Chateau: DIY. Paul and Karen rent out their chateau as a
holiday gite (AD) 5.00 Four in a Bed. The third visit of the
week takes place at The Fox Inn in Guisborough (r) 5.30
Buy It Now. A make-up artist hopes that her pink
invention will catch the eye of the shoppers 6.00 The
Simpsons. Mr Burns buys his employees hi-tech specs so
he can spy on them. Bart stages a rebellion against
Nelson (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Sienna makes contact
with an old acquaintance, while Jack leaves his hospital
appointment with exceptionally good news (r) (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and his guests talk about the issues of the day
11.15 The Yorkshire Vet Casebook. Peter Wright needs to
act fast to save a cow with heart failure, a beagle goes
through a difficult birth and a hamster arrives for a
simple procedure that ends up proving tricky (r) 12.10pm
5 News Lunchtime 12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors. The
doctors treat the victim of a violent and savage assault
outside a pub and a patient comes into the practice
complaining of chronic pains in his chest (r) (AD) 1.10
Access 1.15 Home and Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD)
2.15 NCIS. Part one of two. Gibbs and the team are called
in to help identify dead Marines among the wreckage of a
military aircraft transporting their bodies back home (r)
3.15 FILM: Profile for Murder (12, TVM, 2013)
A retired criminal profiler’s idyllic life in California is
shattered when the serial killer who ended her career
escapes from prison. Thriller starring Nicki Aycox 5.00
5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Amy is unconvinced by
Liam’s assurances that he is a changed man (r) (AD)
6.00 Home and Away. Willow learns the truth about Dean
and Colby’s accident (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
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7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones host the magazine show, with
stories of interest from around the UK,
plus famous guests in the studio
7.00 Antiques Road Trip Christina
Trevanion and James Braxton search
for bargains in Levenshulme,
Manchester. James takes a gamble on
a damaged antique, while Christina
comes across a silk lined Victorian hat,
before the pair head to auctions in
Merseyside and Tyne and Wear (7/10)
7.00 Emmerdale Frank has to swallow
his pride, while Nicola is not happy
with Jimmy’s sensitivity (AD)
8.00 Watchdog Live The team investigate
alarming revelations about one of the
UK’s most familiar companies, and
expose an unexpected problem with
Smart Televisions. Elsewhere in the
Rogue Traders feature, the team
flush out a dodgy plumber carrying
out illegal gas work (2/6)
8.00 Top of the Shop with Tom
Kerridge Makers of cooking sauces
compete against each other for a place
in the final, as they test out their
products on locals in Malhamdale,
in the Yorkshire Dales (4/8) (AD)
8.00 Britain’s Brightest Family
Two families compete in the final.
Last in the series (AD)
9.00 Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh
Fearnley-Whittingstall New series.
The presenter is on a mission to
confront the obesity crisis. In the first
episode, Hugh challenges the big
brands over their lack of transparency
when it comes to their cereal labels.
See Viewing Guide (1/3) (AD)
9.00 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
In Miami, Andrew Cunanan watches
as the news of the murder of Gianni
Versace breaks across the world’s
media. See Viewing Guide (9/9) (AD)
9.00 Benidorm Monty is in need of a new
job after being sacked by Joyce, while
Loretta and Eddie make secret plans
for an anniversary party for Billy and
Sheron back in the UK, but it looks
as if the couple are making plans
of their own (8/9) (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 A Question of Sport Anya
Shrubsole, Eilidh Doyle, Luke Campbell
and Lee Westwood join host Sue
Barker on the light-hearted quiz
11.15 Nightmare Pets SOS The experts try
to help a couple who are under attack
from an unsociable rabbit. Susan
Calman narrates (2/2) (r) (AD)
11.45 How Police Missed the Grindr
Killer Stephen Port date-raped and
murdered four young gay men in East
London within 15 months. This
documentary unravels Port’s sinister
character and modus operandi (r) (AD)
12.35am-6.00 BBC News
9.55 Live at the Apollo The stand-up
comedian and author Joe Lycett
introduces fellow funny men Ivo
Graham and Phil Wang to the stage
before a packed house at London’s
Hammersmith Apollo (6/6) (r)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Evan Davis
11.15 Snooker: The World Championship
Jason Mohammad presents the final
session on day five at the Crucible
Theatre in Sheffield, featuring John
Higgins v Thepchaiya Un-Nooh and
Anthony McGill v Ryan Day
12.05am Snooker: World Championship Extra
Extended highlights of the first-round matches 2.05 Sign
Zone: MasterChef. The amateurs serve a three-course fish
lunch (r) (AD, SL) 3.05-4.05 Pilgrimage: The Road to
Santiago. Seven famous find out whether a medieval
pilgrimage still has relevance today (1/3) (r) (AD, SL)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Police Interceptors Damien and
Mark are forced to take drastic action
against a violent suspect, officers race
to stop a drink-driver who is heading
the wrong way up the M6, and a
burglar takes the Interceptors on
a late night pursuit (8/12) (r)
8.00 The Secret Life of the Zoo An
African painted dog is pregnant with
the zoo’s first ever litter of this rare
and endangered species, and keepers
try to rekindle interest between two
okapis. See Viewing Guide (2/6)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors A patient
feeling unwell after bumping her head
visits the surgery, and doctors meet a
first-time mother who had to be
induced early and is still traumatised
by the events. Other patients include
a mother who is concerned that
her son has threadworms (AD)
9.00 One Born Every Minute Young
couple Chynna and Spencer, who are
both 21, arrive expecting their second
child. Meanwhile, Seif, who fled the
war in Sudan 15 years ago, and his
partner Halah are desperate to start a
family together, and anxiously await
the arrival of their baby (8/10) (AD)
9.00 Me and My Addiction Ten survivors
talk candidly about their experiences
of drug addiction, including famous
figures in the media spotlight, and the
battles they faced to try and beat it.
Abz, former member of the boyband
5ive, talks about his cocaine addiction
that took control of his mind and
destroyed his body over the course of
ten years, and a former banker talks
about hiding a ruinous addiction from
his family. See Viewing Guide
7.30 Coronation Street Imran offers
Zeedan an investment, Tracy orders
Billy to move out, and Aidan suspects
Summer of having a crush on him (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Kate fights her
insecurities over Rana, and David’s
family confronts him over Emma (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 Regional News
10.45 Uefa Champions League
Highlights Mark Pougatch presents
action from the semi-final first-leg
matches, as the teams looked to gain
an advantage ahead of next week’s
second-leg fixtures. With commentary
by Clive Tyldesley and Sam Matterface
11.45 Play to the Whistle With
Andrew Johnston, Scarlett Moffatt
and Rob Beckett (6/6) (r)
12.35am Jackpot247 Interactive gaming 3.00 Tenable.
Quiz hosted by Warwick Davis in which a team of five
from Merseyside answers questions about top 10 lists
from the realms of pop culture and general knowledge.
Last in the series (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
10.00 First Dates Dental nurse Jade is set
up on a date with tree surgeon Tom.
Meanwhile, Sharran — the UK’s only
female sumo wrestler — meets David,
a former bingo-caller, and city trader
Adam is set up on a date with
28-year-old party girl Leena from
Liverpool. See Viewing Guide (AD)
11.05 Fatberg Autopsy: Secrets of the
Sewers Rick Edwards joins scientists
and sewer workers to perform the first
fatberg autopsy — taken from the
biggest blockage of fat and human
waste ever found in the UK (r) (AD)
12.10am Live from Abbey Road Classics 12.35
How’d You Get So Rich? (r) (AD) 1.20 FILM: Serena
(15, 2014) Drama with Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley
Cooper (SL) 3.10 Come Dine Champion of Champions (r)
4.05 Building the Dream (r) (AD) 5.00 Fifteen to One (r)
5.50-6.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Treasures (r)
10.30 My Extreme OCD Life
Documentary about young people
with obsessive compulsive disorder,
including a woman planning her
wedding who was once unable to
leave her own house and an A-Level
student whose condition is
affecting her studies (1/2) (r)
11.35 The Boy Who Grew a New Brain:
Extraordinary People Revisiting a
young boy who was born with less than
two percent of a normal brain (r)
12.30am Funniest Fails, Falls & Flops Comedy clip
show featuring pranks gone wrong (r) 1.00 SuperCasino
3.10 GPs: Behind Closed Doors. The doctors treat the
victim of a violent assault (r) (AD) 4.00 Tattoo Disasters
UK (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Wildlife
SOS (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 House Doctor (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
The Assassination
of Gianni Versace
BBC Two, 9pm
The performance in
this series of Darren
Criss as the deluded,
damaged serial killer
Andrew Cunanan is
one of the best you
are likely to see. The
murder of the fashion
designer Gianni
Versace was a sideshow
to the main event, and
the drama’s narrative
is built around the
story of Cunanan’s life.
Tonight’s last episode
starts with Cunanan
shooting Versace
(soundtracked by
Ultravox’s Vienna for
some reason), then
follows the police hunt
for the killer, who
slowly unravels while
watching the news in
a houseboat in Miami
as the cops close in.
Me and My
Addiction
Channel 5, 9pm
The effective Me and
My . . . format returns,
and this time it is
former drug addicts
who tell their stories.
The most high-profile
contributor is the actor
Corey Feldman with his
tale of 1980s Hollywood
excess. Abz Love, from
the 1990s boyband Five,
recalls how he started
taking cocaine to
counter the lows after
the adrenaline rush
of performing live.
“I couldn’t believe
something could
make you feel that
incredible,” says Paul
Danan, the Hollyoaks
actor. But we also hear
from non-celebs, and
the message is clear
— it could happen to
anyone. Just say no.
First Dates
Channel 4, 10pm
The ideal man for Jade,
25, a dental nurse from
Kettering, would be
“tall, broad, very dark.
Very much the alpha
male.” Enter Tom, a
26-year-old tree
surgeon who is built
like the sturdiest oak.
But will Jade’s candid
demeanour derail any
chance of romance?
The researchers excel
at finding the one-offs
and tonight we meet
Sharran, the UK’s only
female sumo wrestler.
She worries that
she intimidates men
and her date with
David gets off to an
inauspicious start when
he orders an alcopop.
Meanwhile, will the
feisty septuagenarian
Connie meet her match
in jive-dancing Gray?
Sport Choice
BT Sport 2, 7pm
Bayern Munich
welcome Real Madrid
to the Allianz Arena
for the first leg of their
Champions League
semi-final (kick-off
7.45pm). In the quarterfinals a last-minute
penalty from Real’s
Cristiano Ronaldo
finally saw off Juventus
after an epic fightback.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Animal 999 (r) 7.00 Meerkat Manor (r)
8.00 Monkey Life (r) (AD) 9.00 Motorway
Patrol (r) 10.00 Road Wars (r) 11.00
Warehouse 13 (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00 The
Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.00 Futurama. Fry wins a contest (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 DC’s Legends of Tomorrow. Rip improvises
when the Legends’ plan to vanquish Mallus with
the totems fails to work. Last in the series
9.00 A League of Their Own. With Jenny Jones,
Gianfranco Zola and Johnny Vegas (r) (AD)
10.00 Premier League’s Greatest Moments.
Jamie Carragher reveals his greatest
Premier League moments (r)
11.00 The Force: North East (r)
12.00 Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK (r) 1.00am
Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r) 2.00 Most
Shocking (r) 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (r) 4.00 The
Real A&E (r) (AD) 5.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r)
6.00am Urban Secrets (r) 7.00 Richard E
Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD) 8.00 Fish Town
(r) 9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
(AD) 1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue
Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00
House. A man breaks out in a rash (r) (AD)
6.00 House. The team treats a teenager who
has suspicious-looking scars (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. The team
looks into the death of a poker player (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Danny investigates
the murder of a student (r) (AD)
9.00 Occupied. The coast guard soldiers are
arrested for their actions (2/8)
10.00 High Maintenance. A couple win an
affordable-housing lottery
10.35 Silicon Valley. Jared encourages Richard
to strike up a friendship with a fellow officer (r)
11.10 Billions. Axe explores the new arena
of venture philanthropy (4/12) (r)
12.20am Tin Star (r) (AD) 2.20 Here and Now
(r) 3.30 Animals (r) 4.05 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Motorway Patrol (r) (AD) 7.00
Highway Patrol (r) (AD) 7.30 Border Patrol (r)
8.00 Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
9.00 Elementary (r) (AD) 10.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 11.00 Cold Case (r)
12.00 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD) 1.00pm
Medical Emergency (r) (AD) 2.00 Send in the
Dogs (r) 3.00 Nothing to Declare (AD) 5.00
Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00 Medical Emergency (r) (AD)
7.00 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD)
7.30 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary (r) (AD)
9.00 Grey’s Anatomy. An immigration agent
shows up to investigate a member of staff
10.00 Station 19. Andy and Jack try to
find a way to work together (2/10)
11.00 Criminal Minds (r) 12.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 1.00am Cold Case
(r) 2.00 Scandal (r) 3.00 Madam Secretary
(r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD) 5.00
Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00am Pavarotti: A Voice for the Ages 7.20
Sarah Brightman: Symphony in Vienna 9.00
Watercolour Challenge 9.30 The Adventurers of
Modern Art 10.30 Tales of the Unexpected (AD)
11.00 Trailblazers: Conscience Songs 12.00 The
Seventies (AD) 1.00pm Discovering: Ava
Gardner (AD) 2.00 Watercolour Challenge 2.30
The Adventurers of Modern Art 3.30 Tales of
the Unexpected (AD) 4.00 Trailblazers: Heavy
Metal 5.00 The Seventies (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Cary Grant (AD)
7.00 Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks
8.00 National Treasures: The Art of Collecting.
A look at the collection of Cecil French (10/10)
9.00 Discovering: Warren Beatty
10.00 Rodin: In His Time. A look at Rodin’s life
11.00 The Nineties. The decade’s social issues
12.00 Phil Collins: Going Back to Detroit
1.00am Monty Python: Almost the Truth — The
BBC Lawyer’s Cut 2.15 Psychob*****s 2.45
Freddie Mercury: The Tribute Concert 4.30
Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 5.00 Auction
6.00am Total Goals 9.00 Good Morning Sports
Fans 10.00 Live ATP Tennis. The Barcelona
Open. Coverage of the third day in the clay-court
tournament at the Real Club de Tenis Barcelona,
featuring second-round matches. The 16 seeded
players enter the match at this stage, with last
year’s champion Rafael Nadal the highest ranked
of those. The home favourite has dominated this
event for more then a decade, winning 10 of the
last 13 instalments. The only other people to
have won the title in that period are Fernando
Verdasco and Kei Nishikori, the latter who
prevailed in both 2014 and 2015 and could face
Nadal in round three 3.00pm Live Indian
Premier League. Royal Challengers Bangalore v
Chennai Super Kings. Coverage of the latest
match taking place at the M Chinnaswamy
Stadium, Bangalore
7.30 Sky Sports Tonight. The leading stories
10.00 The Debate. The latest news
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00 Sky Sports News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 3.00pm-3.45 Politics
Scotland (r) 9.00-10.00 The Cancer Hospital.
Following the treatment of patients at the
Beatson Cancer Centre in Glasgow. The first
programme focuses on patients receiving
treatment for breast cancer 10.45 Britain’s
Fat Fight with Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.
See Viewing Guide (AD) 11.45 A Question
of Sport. Guests include Anya Shrubsole and
Lee Westwood 12.15am Nightmare Pets SOS
(r) (AD) 12.45 How Police Missed the Grindr
Killer (r) (AD) 1.30 Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.35-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 11.15pm Scottish
Questions. Mark Williams v Jimmy Robertson
and John Higgins v Thepchaiya Un-Nooh 11.45
Snooker: The World Championship 12.35am2.05 Snooker: World Championship Extra
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 Uefa Champions League Highlights
12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After Midnight
2.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
Subscribe today
Call 0800 158 2816 or visit thetimes.co.uk/sale
UTV
As ITV except: 12.35am Teleshopping
2.05-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days; Weather
7.30 Sea City. The work of people who keep the
Port of Southampton running (2/3) (r)
8.00 The Great Rift: Africa’s Wild Heart. The
diverse waterways of the Great Rift Valley in
East Africa, including rivers, coral seas,
caustic springs and waterfalls (AD)
9.00 Elizabeth I’s Secret Agents. Examining the
network of spymasters and secret agents that
helped protect Elizabeth I from assassination,
terror and treason for more than 40 years
10.00 The Plantagenets. Professor Robert
Bartlett charts the events that led to the
dynasty’s downfall, with four kings being
violently deposed in the last century of the
Plantagenets’ reign. Last in the series (AD)
11.00 Drills, Dentures and Dentistry: An Oral
History. Professor Joanna Bourke explains how,
over the past five centuries, dentistry has
been transformed from a back-street horror
show into a gleaming modern science
12.00 Stonehenge: A Timewatch Guide. How
Stonehenge has been explained 1.00am Top of
the Pops: 1983 2.00 The Great Rift: Africa’s Wild
Heart 3.00-4.00 Elizabeth I’s Secret Agents
6.00am Hollyoaks (AD) 7.00 Rules of
Engagement 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (AD)
9.00 New Girl (AD) 10.00 2 Broke Girls (AD)
11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (AD) 12.00 The
Goldbergs (AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory
(AD) 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (AD) 3.00
New Girl (AD) 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (AD)
5.00 The Goldbergs (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Adam lies to Maxine (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers. A sugar artist
recreates a flight simulator in cake form
8.00 The Goldbergs. Adam has a mishap
with Beverly’s new coat (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon takes the
guys to meet a reclusive scientist (AD)
9.00 Timeless. Flynn joins Lucy and Rufus in the
Lifeboat to chase the Mothership back to 1692
10.00 Naked Attraction. Two women
look for new partners (AD)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (AD) 11.35 The Big
Bang Theory (AD) 12.05am First Dates (AD)
1.10 Tattoo Fixers (AD, SL) 2.10 Gogglebox
(AD) 3.05 The Goldbergs (AD) 3.25
Timeless 4.10 Rules of Engagement (SL)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (AD) 9.30 A Place in
the Sun: Summer Sun 11.35 Four in a Bed
2.10pm Come Dine with Me 4.50 A Place
in the Sun: Summer Sun 5.50 Ugly House to
Lovely House with George Clarke (AD)
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo. Cameras follow
an arthritic penguin at Chester Zoo (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. An experimental house on
a small plot of land in Peckham, south London,
complete with sliding-glass roof lights and
mezzanine bedroom pods (1/7) (AD)
9.00 Vet on the Hill. Scott and Phoebe team up
to save the vision of two young kittens. A oneyear-old puppy needs major leg surgery (8/8)
10.00 24 Hours in A&E. A 19-year-old woman is
brought in with possible spinal injuries after
falling from a second-floor window on to
concrete, while a 59-year-old woman is treated
following a suspected stroke (AD)
11.05 Terror On Everest: Surviving the Nepal
Earthquake. Documentary examining an
earthquake which struck Nepal in April, 2015
12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
1.05 24 Hours in A&E (AD) 2.05 Vet on the Hill
3.10-4.00 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut: The Best Bits
11.00am The Gunfight at Dodge City (PG,
1959) Western starring Joel McCrea 12.40pm
Robinson Crusoe on Mars (U, 1964) Sci-fi
drama, inspired by Daniel Defoe’s classic tale,
starring Paul Mantee 2.55 Man Without a
Star (PG, 1955) King Vidor’s Western starring
Kirk Douglas 4.40 Carry On Constable (U,
1960) Comedy starring Sid James (b/w) (AD)
6.25 Life of Pi (PG, 2012) A man recounts the
story of how he survived adrift at sea following
a shipwreck, his only companion a ferocious
tiger. Ang Lee’s adventure based on Yann
Martel’s novel starring Suraj Sharma (AD)
9.00 Dark Places (15, 2015) A woman whose
mother and sisters were murdered when she
was a child revisits the crime to learn the killer’s
identity. Mystery starring Charlize Theron,
Nicholas Hoult and Christina Hendricks
11.15 Kill Your Friends (18, 2015)
A treacherous, cocaine-addicted record executive
desperate to find the next big thing resorts to
eliminating his rivals by any means. Drama
starring Nicholas Hoult and Ed Skrein
1.20am-4.00 The Treatment (18, 2014)
Belgian thriller starring Geert Van Rampelberg
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 7.10
Who’s Doing the Dishes? 7.55 Emmerdale (AD)
8.25 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 9.25 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show 10.20 The Bachelor 11.15
You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 12.15pm
Emmerdale (AD) 12.45 The Cube: Celebrity
Special 1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.35
The Jeremy Kyle Show 5.50 Take Me Out
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold. Two shows
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Walden attends a
singles’ night with friends from high school
8.30 Two and a Half Men. Alan seeks refuge
after he and Walden have a disagreement
9.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA. Gordon Ramsay
announces that Nick, Michelle, and Benjamin
must design and cook a five-course menu
10.00 Hell’s Kitchen USA. The two finalists
compete to be the winner of the first ever
Hell’s Kitchen all-stars. Last in the series
10.55 Family Guy (AD)
11.30 Family Guy. Stewie works out (AD)
11.55 Family Guy (AD) 12.25am American
Dad! (AD) 1.25 Two and a Half Men 2.20
Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55
Heartbeat 7.55 The Royal 8.55 Judge Judy
10.25 Agatha Christie’s Marple 12.30pm The
Royal 1.35 Heartbeat 2.40 Classic Coronation
Street 3.45 On the Buses 4.50 You’re Only
Young Twice 5.20 George and Mildred 5.55
Heartbeat. A sniper causes chaos
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Jessica’s neighbour is
shot dead. Kate Mulgrew guest stars (AD)
8.00 Endeavour. Morse is assigned to protect an
informant who is undergoing emergency surgery,
and becomes fixated on a series of mysterious
deaths that have occurred on the ward in the
hospital. Shaun Evans stars (3/4) (AD)
10.00 The Street. Taxi driver Eddie McEvoy gets
more than he bargained for when he takes an
asylum seeker to his new home, only to discover
the accommodation is closed (5/6)
11.20 The Street. Yvonne tries to hide her
husband’s abusive behaviour from her friends
and family, but it is not long before they learn
the truth and rally round in support (6/6)
12.45am Joe Maddison’s War (AD) 2.20 ITV3
Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am The Saint 6.50 Pawn Stars 7.35
Ironside 8.30 Quincy ME 9.35 Minder (AD)
10.35 The Saint 11.35 The Avengers 12.45pm
Ironside 1.50 Quincy ME 2.50 Minder (AD)
3.55 The Saint 4.55 The Avengers
6.05 Cash Cowboys. Elvis memorabilia
7.00 Pawn Stars. The guys get hold of a
book signed by baseball star Joe Jackson
7.30 Pawn Stars. The team examines a relic of
the Hindenburg disaster, and a rifle
8.00 River Monsters. An ancient fishing
community being terrorised by something
in the water in the Pacific Ring of Fire
9.00 The Motorbike Show. Henry Cole starts
the nickel plating on the Harley-Davidson
10.00 The Americans. Philip has some
stunning news for Henry (4/10) (AD)
11.00 Lethal Weapon. Riggs and Murtaugh
respond to the murder of an escaped patient of
Dr Cahill’s, and the question of the medic’s
competency is brought into question (AD)
12.00 The Big Fish Off 1.05am Minder (AD, SL)
2.00 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive 2.50
ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Sin City Motors 4.00 Steve
Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top Gear.
With Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton (AD)
6.00 Room 101. Panel show with Frank Skinner
6.40 Would I Lie to You? With Miles Jupp,
Heston Blumenthal, Emilia Fox and Ed Byrne
7.20 Would I Lie to You? With Jo Brand,
Roisin Conaty, Paul Foot and Ray Mears
8.00 Sin City Motors. Steve Darnell fixes up a
50s era pickup truck for a family (AD)
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Comedy sets by Sarah
Millican, Joe Lycett and Russell Kane
10.00 Room 101. With Lee Mack, Dave Myers
and Ruby Wax. Frank Skinner hosts
10.40 Room 101. Sue Perkins, Bruno Tonioli
and Steve Jones discuss their pet hates
11.20 Room 101. With Alistair McGowan,
Hilary Devey and Josh Groban
12.00 QI. Vic Reeves guests 1.20am Mock the
Week 2.00 QI 3.15 Parks and Recreation 3.40
The Indestructibles 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning (AD)
9.00 Casualty (AD) 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The
Bill 12.00 Lovejoy 1.00pm Last of the Summer
Wine 1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 Birds of a Feather
3.00 London’s Burning (AD) 4.00 You Rang,
M’Lord? 5.00 Lovejoy. Light-hearted drama
6.00 Hi-de-Hi! Bailiffs threaten Ted with prison
6.40 Keeping Up Appearances. Hyacinth
auditions for a part in Emmet’s musical (AD)
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Alvin and
Entwistle try their hands at matchmaking
8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe. A woman is released
from prison after a 35-year campaign to clear
her of murder. Unfortunately for Dalziel, he was
the investigating officer responsible for her
conviction. Leslie Phillips guests (3&4/8) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. The team reinvestigates the
murder of a man found in an alleyway seven
years previously when he is identified on a
website covering unexplained disappearances.
With Robert Daws (9/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Sharon gets a shock
12.00 The Bill 1.00am London’s Burning (AD)
2.00 The Pinkertons (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Murder Maps
11.00 Impossible Engineering (AD) 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Swallowed by a Sinkhole (AD)
2.00 The Himalayas 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00
Murder Maps 5.00 Impossible Engineering (AD)
6.00 Churchill’s Bodyguard. Thompson saves
Churchill from being crushed alive
7.00 A Tale of Two Sisters. The relationship
between Jackie Kennedy and her sister Lee (AD)
8.00 Secrets of Britain. An exploration of British
landmarks, beginning with the Tower of London
9.00 Porridge. Fletcher’s bid to find a little
peace and quiet seems destined to fail
9.40 Porridge. Fletch goes into hospital
10.20 Porridge. Godber takes up boxing and
enters the prison championships
11.00 dinnerladies. Philippa has a bright idea
for raising the kitchen staff’s spirits (AD)
11.40 dinnerladies. The girls celebrate
Japanese-style at their work party (AD)
12.20am dinnerladies (AD) 1.00 Black Ops
(AD) 2.00 Auschwitz: The Nazis and the
Final Solution 3.00 Home Shopping
BBC Alba
5.00pm Peppa (r) 5.10 Creag nam Buthaidean
(Puffin Rock) (r) 5.25 Su Shiusaidh (Little
Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.28 Ben & Hoilidh san
Rioghachd Bhig (Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom)
(r) 5.50 Treud na Dluth-choille: GradNaidheachd (Jungle Bunch) (r) 5.51 Seonaidh
(Shaun the Sheep) 6.00 Sràid nan Sgread
(Scream Street) (r) 6.15 Dragonan: Reis chun
an iomaill (Dragons: Race to the Edge) (r)
6.35 Donnie Murdo (Danger Mouse) (r)
7.00 Stoidhle (The Dressing Up Box) (r)
7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 8.00 An Là
(News) 8.30 Leugh Mi (Book Show) (r) 9.00
Dith Anail: Beo Le Cystic Fibrosis (Breathless:
Living with Cystic Fibrosis) (r) 10.00 Seòid a’
Chidsin: The Kitchen Coves 10.30 Port (r)
10.55 Of Diabolical Purpose: Sgeulachd
Monsieur Chantrelle (r) 11.55-5.00 Close
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Bobi Jac (r)
6.25 Guto Gwningen (r) 6.40 Tomos a’i
Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty Mel (r) 7.00 Boj (r)
7.15 Heini (r) 7.30 Wibli Sochyn y Mochyn (r)
7.40 Bing (r) 7.50 Teulu Mewn Bacpac (r)
8.00 Cymylaubychain (r) 8.10 Byd Begw Bwt
(r) 8.15 Y Teulu Mawr (r) 8.30 Cled (r) 8.40
Meic y Marchog (r) 8.55 Dwylo’r Enfys (r)
9.10 Stiw (r) 9.25 Oli Dan y Don (r) 9.35 Nodi
(r) 9.45 Tecwyn y Tractor (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul
(r) 10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: 123
(r) 11.15 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Heini (r) 11.30
Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Plant y Byd (r) 11.35 Dysgu
Gyda Cyw: Abadas (r) 11.45 Dysgu Gyda Cyw:
Sbarc (r) 12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm
Crwydro (r) 12.30 Y Ty Arian (r) 1.30 Garddio
a Mwy (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05
Pengelli (r) 3.30 Tro Breizh Lyn Ebenezer (r)
4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05
Stwnsh: Boom! 5.15 Stwnsh: Dennis a Dannedd
(r) 5.25 Stwnsh: Lois yn Erbyn Anni (r) 5.35
Stwnsh: Llond Ceg (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r
Tywydd 6.05 Her yr Hinsawdd (r) (AD)
6.30 Mwy o Sgorio 7.00 Heno 7.30 Pobol y
Cwm (AD) 8.25 Wil ac Aeron: Taith Rwmania
9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30 Elis James:
Cic Lan Yr Archif. Comedian Elis James looks
through half a century of Welsh film and
television archival footage, looking at a
different aspect of Welsh life each week 10.00
Codi Hwyl. On the final leg of their Scottish
adventure, actor John Piece Jones and
comedian Dilwyn Morgan travel through the
Crinan Canal (r) 10.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain.
Ffion Jones from Cardiff goes on a date with
the help of her grandmother, Delyth Rees from
Machynlleth (r) 11.05-11.40 Cadw Cwmni
gyda John Hardy. The host chats to Nia Tomos
from Caernarfon, who has been selected for the
GB Canoeing World Class Programme as part of
preparations for the 2020 Olympics (r)
14
Wednesday April 25 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3319
5
6
3
7
13
13
8
19
15
26
11
17
12
13
12
11
23
4
9
10
16
12
25
16
23
6
Train Tracks No 391
19
20
1
15
26
23
25
14
24
14
19
7
10
9
5
14
18
13
2
20
7
23
25
13
1
13
14
2
23
23
14
10
1
4
2
6
3
2
3
5
22
6
23
5
4
2
19
O
11
5
12
12
22
17
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© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7635
23
14
5
19
A
17
3
X
15
19
17
25
13
2
1
16
3
11
1
16
12
19
19
11
14
6
2
10
14
18
2
17
14
1
8
17
2
19
13
19
2
7
23
20
22
19
12
17
13
9
15
17
21
19
7
14
B
20
19
24
10
20
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
21
6
Across
1
7
8
9
10
12
13
Takes away (9)
Gemstone (4)
Country of SE Asia (8)
Cattle-feeding trough (6)
Seabird (4)
Worshipping images (10)
Active supporter of a
movement (10)
Solution to Crossword 7634
C
KHAR T
U O
M I L I
L
NUB I L
N N
P EGGE
A S
RE T A
T O
SHUN
E
B E G
OUM L AMA
T
B A
I
T AR I S ED
L
Y S W
E ORCH I D
E
F
D QU I V ER
E U
L
L I A T I NG
E
I
N E
T E L EGRAM
E S
R
16 Disclose (secrets) (4)
17 Small feature (6)
18 Source of annoyance (8)
20 Spiritual teacher (4)
21 Lean-bodied person (9)
19
25
2
13
2
7
25
13
4
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
14
15
16
17
18
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
X
O
Down
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
letters in the main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
Yesterday’s solution, right
1 Part of a flower (6)
2 Disease transmitted by
rat fleas (7,6)
3 Colour (3)
4 Sparkling wine (9)
5 Eventually (6,2,5)
6 Rich cake (6)
11 Left-winger (9)
14 Tree-lined road (6)
15 Fire (a rocket) (6)
19 Sugar-cane spirit (3)
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or
text TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network
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network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Lexica No 4235
L
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A
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G
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E
N
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I
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T
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce
a completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4311
Futoshiki No 3158
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
∧
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
S
P
B
See today’s News section
N
Winners will receive a Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle and text in the numbers in the three
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No 4236
∨
Kakuro No 2117
∧
>
6
∨
3
<
<
16
6
23
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
36
17
7
31
20
10
16
39
7
4
30
14
11
7
∨
17
16
24
3
2 <
31
7
4
15
12
16
17
20
23
6
30
16
6
4
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
17
3
6
15
22
3
15
17
28
12
4
24
© PUZZLER MEDIA
18
the times | Wednesday April 25 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
Simpson’s in the Strand is the
traditional home of British chess.
Founded in 1828, Simpson’s attracted the world’s leading chess
players over many decades before
it finally evolved into more of a
restaurant than a chess divan, as
it had originally been devised.
Among the luminaries who competed there were Howard Staunton, Adolf Anderssen, the first
offical world champion Wilhelm
Steinitz and his successor, Emanuel Lasker. Their names are
inscribed on a famous chessboard
that has now been restored and
occupies pride of place.
Sherlock Holmes was a notable
diner at Simpson’s, so it is easy to
infer that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
was a devotee of the establishment. I am personally convinced
that Conan Doyle’s description of
Professor Challenger (massive forehead, great mane of hair, luxuriant
beard...) in The Lost World and
related stories, was based on that
denizen of Simpson’s, Wilhelm
Steinitz. Today’s game is a classic
from the habitues of Simpson’s
while the puzzle is from the most
famous game in chess history,
also played at Simpson’s.
White: Johannes Zukertort
Black: Joseph Blackburne
London 1883
Queen’s Gambit Declined
1 c4 e6 2 e3 Nf6 3 Nf3 b6 4 Be2
Bb7 5 0-0 d5 6 d4 Bd6 7 Nc3 0-0
8 b3 Nbd7 9 Bb2 Qe7 10 Nb5
Ne4 11 Nxd6 cxd6 12 Nd2 Ndf6
13 f3 Nxd2 14 Qxd2 dxc4 15 Bxc4
d5 16 Bd3 Rfc8 17 Rae1 Rc7
White has geared up for a central breakthrough while Black is
pinning his hopes on counterplay
via the c-file. White stands well as
he has the invasion squares along
the c-file covered by his bishops.
18 e4 Rac8 19 e5 Ne8 20 f4 g6 21
Re3 f5 22 exf6 Nxf6 23 f5 Ne4 24
Bxe4 dxe4 25 fxg6 Rc2 26 gxh7+
Kh8 27 d5+ e5
Black’s counterattack has landed and he will now win a piece.
________
á DrD D i]
à0bD 1 DP]
ß 0 D D D]
ÞD DP0 D ]
Ý D DpD D]
ÜDPD $ D ]
ÛPGr! DP)]
ÚD D DRI ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
28 Qb4!!
Brilliant. Rather than give up
the bishop White instead sacrifices the queen to allow the bishop
to co-operate with the white rooks.
28 ... R8c5
Taking the queen leads to 28 ...
Qxb4 29 Bxe5+ Kxh7 30 Rh3+ Kg6
31 Rg3+ Kh6 32 Rf6+ Kh7 33 Rf7+
Kh6 34 Bf4+ Kh5 35 Rh7 mate.
29 Rf8+!
The fireworks continue. Now
29 ... Qxf8 30 Bxe5+ Kxh7 31
Qxe4+ Kh6 32 Rh3+ Kg5 33 Rg3+
Kh5 34 Qg4+ Kh6 35 Rh3 is mate.
29 ... Kxh7 30 Qxe4+ Kg7
White has a crushing attack at
no material cost. However, Zukertort still manages to finish in style.
31 Bxe5+ Kxf8 32 Bg7+ Kg8
32 ... Qxg7 33 Qe8 is mate.
33 Qxe7 Black resigns
________
árDbi Dn4] Winning Move
à0 DpDpHp]
ßnD G D D] White to play. This position is from
ÞDpDN) DP] Anderssen-Kieseritsky,
Simpson’s-in-the-Strand, London 1851.
Ý D D DPD] This is the finale of the so-called Immortal
ÜD DPDQD ] Game. White’s next move concluded
ÛPDPDKD D] affairs, having already sacrificed two rooks
Ú1 D D g ] and a bishop with a mighty thunderclap.
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ How did White finish?
The Stayman convention, that
essential tool to locate a 4-4 major
fit, operates in the following scenarios:
(a) Partner has opened 1NT.
(b) Partner has opened 2NT.
(c) Partner has opened 2♣ (any
hand with 23 or more points) and
(over the 2♦ negative) rebid 2NT.
It is also sensible to use
Stayman when partner has bid
1NT as an overcall, and when
(after an opposing Weak Two
opener) partner has bid 2NT.
In each case, you’ll bid Stayman
when you have a game-going hand
with a precisely four-card major.
Question: Are there any occasions when, with a game-going
hand and a precisely four-card
major, you would not bid Stayman?
Answer: Yes. If you have a 4333
shape, you are probably best simply
to raise notrumps — the advantage
of playing in 4♥/♠ is too slender.
Also, I would suggest not bidding
Stayman when you are 4432 with a
decent doubleton and know the
partnership have at least about 28
points; 3NT should make, while
4♥/♠ may fail if trumps split poorly
or there are unexpected ruffs.
Exercise: Respond to partner’s
2NT opener (20-22) with these.
♠Q 6 4 2
♠J 6 3 2
♠8 2
points to make the 25 for game.
The 4-4 heart fit is almost bound
to play better than 3NT, given the
small doubleton spade.
With the second, raise to 3NT;
4333 is a notrump shape — no
ruffing value. Also raise to 3NT
with the third — you have no
weak suit and comfortably the values for game.
Dealer: South ♠ 3
♥5 4 3 2
Vul: Neither ♦Q 7 6 4 2
♣7 4 2
♠ K 10 8 5 2 N
♥9 7
W E
♦A 10
S
♣Q J 10 5♠ AQ 6
♥AQ J 6
♦K 5 3
♣A K 9
MEDIUM
97 + 93
OF IT
+6
x 2 – 12
20%
OF IT
x 3 – 39
129 x 6 + 862
HARDER
75%
OF IT
+ 763
1/
2
x3
–7
4/
5
+ 85
+1/5
OF IT
OF IT
OF IT
90%
OF IT
x 3 + 999
1/
2
OF IT
–9
+ 78 x 4
3/
4
OF IT
+ 267
S
W
N
E
2♣(1) Pass
2♦(2) Pass
2NT(3) Pass
3♣(4) Pass
Pass
4♥
End
3♥
(1) Any hand with 23+ points.
(2) Negative (or waiting).
(3) 23-24 balanced.
(4) Stayman — clear attempt to find the 4-4
heart fit, given the “un-notrumpy” shape.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
3
6
4
3
Set Square No 2120
© PUZZLER MEDIA
From these letters, make words of four
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 15 words, average;
21, good; 25, very good; 30, excellent
x
Enter each of
+
+
= 20 the numbers
x
+
-
= 41
+
3
÷
-
1
=
3
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
We’ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
sum should be
calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
x
x
Yesterday’s answers add, adieu, aid,
aide, and, dad, dan, dead, dean, den,
deni, die, din, dine, dud, dude, due, dun,
dune, end, ide, idea, indue, ned, nide,
nude, unaided, undead
+
= 10
=
55
=
33
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Killer Tricky No 5975
14
16
11
11
21
7
22
9
11
9
3
8
22
Solutions
Quick Cryptic 1076
28
23
13
17min
8
ON T H
E
N
CH A T
R
E
CON
O
A RMA
T
H A I R
E M
A L P H
L
R
T O Y
E S P
A
A
T E R
O
V A L
I
E
D A
E
S
O F T
T
A
T
A
P
U
E A S
CON
R O
N A V E
T
N
C E N T
R
L A X Y
N
DOG
T
E
E A CH E R
C
E
O
Y T E RMS
Sudoku 9820
10
17
11
12
8
20
14
9
7
16
17
12
12
4
2
9
6
1
8
5
7
3
1
8
3
5
4
7
6
9
2
7
6
5
2
9
3
1
8
4
3
1
8
4
2
5
7
6
9
5
7
2
8
6
9
4
3
1
2
3
7
1
8
4
9
5
6
8
9
1
3
5
6
2
4
7
6
5
4
9
7
2
3
1
8
6
Killer Deadly No 5976
14
6
14
20
10
56min
13
6
9
9
16
7
22
19
26
16
20
8
2
x
-
5
x
1
x
4
-
÷
7
+
8
x
+
9
5
1
4
6
2
3
8
7
4
2
6
7
8
3
5
1
9
3
7
8
5
1
9
6
4
2
2
8
4
6
3
5
7
9
1
6
1
9
2
7
4
8
5
3
L
7
3
5
1
9
8
2
6
4
1
9
2
3
5
6
4
7
8
8
6
3
9
4
7
1
2
5
5
4
7
8
2
1
9
3
6
20
18
14
4
7
5
3
8
2
1
6
9
3
2
9
6
4
1
5
7
8
1
8
6
7
5
9
3
4
2
2
3
8
5
9
4
7
1
6
12
7
17
12
12
6
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
3
1
8
9
5
4
7
2
6
9
2
6
1
7
3
5
4
8
4
7
5
8
2
6
9
1
3
2
4
9
6
1
5
3
8
7
9
6
1
8
3
7
4
2
5
6
9
3
4
7
8
2
5
1
5
1
7
2
6
3
8
9
4
8
4
2
9
1
5
6
3
7
5
6
7
3
8
2
1
9
4
1
8
3
4
9
7
2
6
5
8
3
1
5
4
9
6
7
2
7
5
4
2
6
1
8
3
9
6
9
2
7
3
8
4
5
1
3
4
6
9
7
2
1
5
8
9
7
1
5
8
6
3
2
4
6
9
7
1
5
8
4
3
2
2
1
5
4
9
3
8
7
6
4
3
8
2
6
7
5
9
1
1
2
3
6
4
5
9
8
7
7
6
9
8
3
1
2
4
5
5
8
4
7
2
9
6
1
3
4
8 6
9 7
2
8
9
2 1
1 7 9
6 8
1 8
2 9 7
8
9
4 2 1
2 4 3 1
1 2
9 8
3 1
7 9
x
6 8
9 7
6 8 9
8
9 7
7 2
3 1
3 1
1 4 2
3 9
Train Tracks 390
1
Quintagram
1 Tip
2 Bias
3 Geology
4 Ordinary
5 New Zealand
5
2
5
5
2
4
2
5
3
2
6
2
A
x
9
9 8
3 5
7
5 9
6
8 1
4
1 2
5 3
7
3
4
3
1
N
O
A
I
U
B
F
C
Y
C
U
U
B
R
E
N
U
B
E
T
V
1
O
R
A
H
F
E
N
1
3 < 5
4
4
2
1
1
∧
2
∧
5
5 4 4
S
T
Suko 2220
5
KenKen 4310
G
3
4
∨
∨
2 < 3
2
3
C
A
R
L
1 < 4
3 < 4
I
S
H
E
Futoshiki 3157
5
R
E
L
R
Cell Blocks 3201
Lexica 4234
A
Brain Trainer
Easy 46
Medium 1,008
Harder 5,046
6
4
5
4
3
2
3
4
2
3
Word watch
Garbo (c) A
dustman or
garbage collector
(Australia)
Garboard (a)
The bottommost
plank of a
vessel’s hull
Gumbotil (a) A
sticky clay
formed by the
weathering of
glacial drift
Chess
Killer 5974
8
5
2
3
1
4
7
6
9
U
2 < 5
7
5
4
1
2
6
9
8
3
UA S H
S
C
H
E
EMU
N M
T E AM
OW
I
E V E N
X E
G
T OMB
C
I
F
CUR
I
U
D
X E R T
B
Killer 5973
6
18
+
Lexica 4233
Sudoku 9821
16
S
E
N
S
I
T
I
V
E
L
Y
S P URN Q
A O
L
RR WE A V
K
V
OA P
S AG
RA P
L
A X I
O O
Z OO A
I C E
NO T
O
N
OB
F L U F
R
U
S
J AUN T
E
Set Square 2119
9
4
6
7
3
1
8
2
5
Kakuro 2116
Codeword 3318
O T
A
K
E
E S
H
GA
P
H E
Sudoku 9822
♠J 9 7 4
♥K 10 8
♦J 9 8
♣8 6 3
3
2
4
6 4 2
12
Polygon
12
Declarer won the ♣Q lead with
♣K, cashed ♠ A and ruffed ♠ 6. At
trick four, he led ♥3 to ♥J, the
finesse succeeding. He ruffed ♠ Q
and led ♥5 to ♥Q, then cashed
♥A, felling ♥K.
At trick eight, declarer led ♦3 to
(♦10 and) ♦Q, then returned ♦2
to East’s ♦9. There was no point in
♥Q 10 3
♥K J 7 2 ♥Q 6 2
playing ♦K as he knew West held
♦
K
9
♦10 9 2 ♦Q 4 3
♦A (because ♦Q won). He ducked
♣J983
♣ 9 8 3 2 ♣ 10 8 2
and West’s ♦A “beat air”. He won
With the first, bid 3♣ Stayman. ♣J with ♣A, cashed ♦K and lost
Facing 20-22 (assume the mid- only ♣9. Game made plus one.
point 21), you need only four
78
4
Bridge Andrew Robson
The Next Level
2. Stayman
(iii) When Stayman operates
EASY
1/
2
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Simpsons reborn
Cell Blocks No 3202
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1 Qf6+! Nxf6 2
Be7 mate
Quiz
1 Thames 2 Fred Perry 3 Waiting for Godot 4 Henry I
5 Liberty 6 Mallard 7 Stanley Baldwin 8 Leon Trotsky
9 On First Looking into Chapman’s Homer
10 Raspberry Beret 11 Manual sign language
12 Demi Moore. It is known as Demi’s Birthday Suit
13 Niccolò Ammaniti 14 Epsom Derby or the Derby
Stakes. Smith-Stanley was the 12th earl of Derby
15 Akihito, emperor of Japan
25.04.18
MindGames
Difficult No 9823
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
Fiendish No 9824
6
9
2
4
1 3
8
9
2
4 6
3
9 2
3
7
8
4 8
3
2
3 9 6
7 8
1
9
Garbo
a To talk nonsense
b To seek solitude
c A dustman
Garboard
a A ship’s plank
b A type of packaging
c To stowaway
Gumbotil
a A type of clay
b An ogre
c An abscess
Super fiendish No 9825
6
4
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
3 7 2
5
2 1
8
9
5
4
2
7 8 9
6 1
7
9
8
1
4 1
3
5 9
1 6
5
4
2 9
3
9
4
5 4
1 3
5
9
6
7
4 8
6
1 7
2
8 4
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2220
KOJI SASAHARA/AP
1 At 215 miles, what
is the longest river
entirely in England?
was “the kind you find
in a second hand store”?
11 Dactylology is the
method of using which
form of language?
2 A laurel wreath is the
logo of which fashion
label, named after a
three-time Wimbledon
singles champion?
3 Which Samuel
Beckett play’s
characters include
Vladimir, Estragon,
Pozzo and Lucky?
12 The make-up artist
Joanne Gair painted
which actress’s body for
the August 1992 cover
of Vanity Fair?
15
6 Designed by Nigel
Gresley, what holds the
world speed record for
steam locomotives at
126 mph?
4 Which king — a
son of William the
Conqueror — is buried
in Reading Abbey?
7 Which three-time Tory
prime minister entered
the Commons as the MP
for Bewdley in 1908?
5 In 2016, Martha
Spurrier replaced
Shami Chakrabarti as
director of which
human rights group?
8 Which Russian is the
subject of a book trilogy
by Isaac Deutscher
that ends with The
Prophet Outcast?
9 Which 1816 sonnet
by John Keats begins:
“Much have I travell’d
in the realms of gold”?
10 In a 1985 Prince
song, which titular hat
13 Which Italian author
of I’m Not Scared won
the 2007 Strega prize for
As God Commands?
14 Which horse race
was founded in 1780
by the peer Edward
Smith-Stanley?
15 Which head of state
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1077 by Flamande
1
2
3
4
8
7
11
12
13
16
14
17
19
22
6
9
10
15
5
18
20
23
21
Across
8 Mostly noisy party after a dip
of sorts (7)
9 Store and small house at side
of a road (5)
10 Fund for young Tom? (5)
11 Go back over caterer’s revised
order (7)
12 A priest converted wrongdoers
in the main (7)
14 Large Italian male, agile (5)
15 Hangman in jail grabbing
fighter from the east (5)
17 Ham a cleric sent back during
autumn month (7)
19 Show approval of a piano duet
attracting praise (7)
20 Rogue rejected hotel, wanting
a house in the country (5)
22 Voter is volatile, it’s obvious (5)
23 New, like coin making initial
appearance (7)
Down
1 Group of cubs raising hat in
front of king (4)
2 Look after neglected forest (6)
3
4
5
6
7
12
13
16
18
20
21
Path round valley, initially far
from straight (4)
Journalist redrafted second
report around middle of
evening (13)
We relax, consuming punch
and a mini pork pie? (5,3)
Commercial vehicle going
through Derby, perhaps, and
Hampshire town (6)
A small depression gripping
female member (8)
Shape of writing implement
with label attached (8)
Mad hatter’s event in Boston?
(3,5)
Small drink for each child (6)
More playful Ambridge
resident (6)
Regularly drowsy, having little
energy? Medicine provided (4)
Wine from Castile (4)
DIGITAL RADIO • APP
VIRGINRADIO.CO.UK
Yesterday’s solution on page 15
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