close

Вход

Забыли?

вход по аккаунту

?

The Times Times 2 - 26 February 2018

код для вставкиСкачать
February 26 | 2018
On Monday
The woman who helped Meghan
understand Harry’s family
2
1G T
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
times2
Heiress, Diana’s
Feel sexy when I’m
67? I haven’t felt sexy
since the early 1990s
Kevin Maher
G
ood ole Jane
Seymour. The
smouldering star
of screens large (she
was Solitaire in Live
and Let Die) and
small (remember
Dr Quinn Medicine
Woman?) has apparently put
the “sex” back into
sexagenarian by
posing for Playboy
for a third time, right,
(she also appeared
in 1973 and 1987).
Don’t worry,
though, it’s not a
cheap publicity stunt
to draw in readers of
a certain age. Instead,
the actress has
claimed that it’s
appropriate to
appear within
the pages of the
(creepy and entirely
out of step with
contemporary
society) magazine.
Because, at 67 years
old, she feels “sexier
than ever”. She
added: “I feel much sexier now th
than I
ever did when I was younger.”
That is very good to know. Because,
really, at 67, what you’re aiming for,
above all else, is sexy. When I’m 67
(not long now) I hope that I’m sexy.
It’s what we’re all, as human beings,
moving and evolving towards. An
eleventh-hour state of sexy.
It seems like such an artificial
concept. Feeling sexy? I picture baby
oil, open shirts and awful come-ons
(“I’ve lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep
with you instead?”). I can honestly
say that I’ve never felt sexy. I can’t
imagine what it would be like. A cross
between the Fonz and Brad Pitt.
Although, now I think about it, I
did feel sexy, briefly, just once, for less
than an hour, in my early twenties. I
was at a wedding weekend in Wales
and it must have been the early era
(the 1990s) of gym membership and
lifting weights above your head while
watching MTV.
The men all played Frisbee shirtless,
as you do. I joined in, and later heard
through a friend of a friend that one of
the women watching had commented
aloud that my physique was “great”.
Take with
a pinch
of salt
I think for roughly 20 minutes, I
felt sexy. A bit cock of the walk.
Deliberately unbuttoning my shirt,
and trying to engineer moments
where I might remove it once again
(“Hmm, I hope they play I’m Too Sexy
by Right Said Fred, because if they do
this bad boy is coming right off!”). The
moment, of course, quickly faded and
I went back to being me (books,
Morrissey,
solitude, shyness).
so
Since then, and
specifically since
sp
my abandonment
m
of any interest in
lifting weights
lif
above my head
ab
while watching
w
MTV, my
M
relationship
re
with sexy has
w
profoundly
pr
deteriorated. If
d
there’s Frisbee at
th
a wedding now, I’ll
be the guy doing it
in a leather jacket.
My biggest dread
is summer pool
parties or meet-ups
p
with friends at the
w
beach. And it’s not tthat the sight of my
beach
formerly sexy physique in trunks is
going to send little children screaming
into the shallows (I am somewhere
along the sliding scale between “Dad
bod” and Jabba the Hutt).
It’s just that the cultural standards
for the shirtless male body have
become so bizarrely hyper-masculine,
so ripped, pumped and self-parodic
(think Marvel’s Thor, or the boys in
Towie), that I’d rather do whatever it is
under a thick blanket of shadow, and
preferably indoors. And yes, I know
that it’s a million times worse for
women, apparently, but as they say in
the Time’s Up movement, this is your
turn to listen.
The worst part of the Seymour
Playboy spread is in the idea that we
should be thinking, as we head into
our dotage, about sexy. I don’t want
to moan, but I feel as if I have a lot on
my plate now (fatherhood, mortgage,
work-life balance, relationship, dog,
and an extremely temperamental
dishwasher). Maintaining my sexy
until I’m 67 is not on the list.
Maintaining my sanity will do
just fine, thank you.
Another week, another
health scare. This time
shocking news from a
team of scientists at
King’s College London
and concerns a severe
threat to dental health.
While studying the
erosive potential of an
acidic diet and how it
affects your teeth, the
scientists discovered
that the casual
consumption of saltand-vinegar crisps
washed down by fruit
tea, over several years,
can have a devastating
effect on the average
set of pearly whites.
To which I can only
scoff and say no, simply
Julia Samuel is the society girl who
became a health worker and the woman
who Meghan Markle says helped her to
learn about Diana. By Helen Rumbelow
I’ll have
a Big Mac
mop to go
You try not to see the
world through the filter
of class dynamics (if
only because it’s kind of
jaded and a bit beardy
Seventies Marxist
symposium, man), yet I
couldn’t help but detect
a dash of snobbery in
the story of a school in
Great Yarmouth that
had apparently banned
its male pupils from
having a specific style
of haircut known
as the “meet me
at McDonald’s”.
The name of the
teenager cut was
conceived, naturally,
on social media and
essentially describes a
large curly mop sitting
atop tightly shaven
back and sides. It is
seen, allegedly, on
gangs of rough, tough
townies who gather in
the fast-food joint,
flicking chips into
each other’s curls and
admiring the stubble
on their fabulously
shorn noggins.
The ban, however,
seems overdone. Surely
this is simply a question
of upwardly mobile
rebranding. A name
change, in other words.
Try, the “gang-about in
Gourmet Burger
Kitchen” cut. Or the
“lounge about in Leon”
trim. Or, my favourite,
the “Byron burger
back’n’sides”.
not true. Because you
will have barfed that up
long before it’s had a
chance to do any
damage. I mean, who
eats salt-and-vinegar
crisps then drinks fruit
tea? Nine-year-old
children with slightly
pretentious New Age
affectations?
I
was prepared for the swearing.
For the “f***” and the “shit” said
with true sadness. For Julia
Samuel is many unexpected
things. A society girl whose
marriage at 20 brought together
the untold wealth of the banking
dynasties of Guinness and Hill
Samuel, but a society girl who defied
expectations and grew up to dedicate
her life to working in the NHS as a
grief therapist, a pioneer in the care of
bereaved parents and children.
In a horrible confluence of her
professional and personal lives she was
also a dear friend to Diana, Princess of
Wales, who died leaving her two
young sons to face one of the most
brutally public bereavements in recent
history. Samuel could not help the
boys then, but at the age of 57 she has
become a pivotal influence.
“Julia” was the only woman outside
the royal family who was named in the
recent engagement interview with
Meghan Markle, as a person who
helped Markle to understand Prince
Harry’s mother. Godmother to Prince
George, Samuel has supported the
adult princes as they have undergone
a revolution in their ability to be open
about their grief. They have begun
campaigning to raise awareness of
childhood bereavement, channelling
their traumatic experience to help the
charity that Samuel is founder-patron
of, Child Bereavement UK. All that,
and she can swear like a curse ninja.
I knew this might happen. In her
book, Grief Works, which has become
a surprise bestseller, she states that
when someone has received bad news,
swearing can seem the only option.
You need to throw the worst at death.
“Swearing gets to the centre of some
of the fury people feel.”
She makes me a cup of tea in her
three-floored apartment north of
Hyde Park, London, and before
we go up to her counselling
room, I mention a person
we have both met who has
suffered a multiple pile-up of
bereavements. “F***ing hell,”
she articulates crisply in her
quiet RP, head shaking
along with her coiffed
hair. “Life is really shit
to people sometimes.”
It feels fitting that our
session is in the typical
beige of a therapy
room. Samuel begins
her book with a
description of the first
person she counselled,
a woman living at the
top of a grim block of
flats not far from
Samuel’s home. The
woman’s daughter had
died in a car accident,
leaving her alone with
a three-bar heater
and “furious grief”. At
the time Samuel lived a
charmed high-society
existence; Princess Diana was
godmother to her children and
would pick them up from school
to relieve Samuel of the school run.
“I felt inadequate and frightened,”
writes Samuel of this first raw
encounter with grief, “but also
a quiet hum of excitement.”
She had discovered her mission:
to help to transform Britain from its
grief denial of the interwar years
towards greater compassion. In short,
an attitude shift from the Queen to the
Duke of Cambridge. The Victorians,
she writes, were death extroverts and
repressed sex; now it is vice versa. It is
not, she says, the pain of grief that
damages individuals, but “the things
they do to avoid the pain”. Does she
tell everyone to go home to their loved
ones and have a conversation about
mortality? “I do. Grief is derailed by
regret. Things people wished they
had said, done, known. You can’t go
back and correct it.”
There was nothing special in
Samuel’s childhood to suggest that
this was her destiny. One of five
Prince William
has amazing
empathy from his
own experience
children and twin sister of the family’s
heir, Hugo Guinness, she has said she
was not so much underestimated as
“not estimated”.
She says: “The thing that influenced
me was that by the time she was
25 my mother’s parents and siblings
had all died. We were surrounded
by all these black-and-white
photographs of people they
never talked about.
“My mum later told me about
her brother being killed at
Arnhem. She was 17, pulled
out of class. She walked back in,
didn’t cry or tell anyone. That
evening she went to a Fred
Astaire film. When she
spoke to me about it
many decades later, it
was like it happened
yesterday; the shock,
the rawness, the
missing him, was
untouched.”
Her siblings were
rebellious. Her
elder sister, Sabrina
Guinness, had
relationships with
Prince Charles, then
Jack Nicholson and
Mick Jagger, before
marrying the
playwright Tom
Stoppard. Meanwhile,
H
Hugo
spent two years
dutifully working in the
the times | Monday February 26 2018
3
1G T
times2
friend . . . NHS grief therapist
COVER: MAX MUMBY/GETTY IMAGES; BELOW: CHRIS MCANDREW FOR THE TIMES, PRESS ASSOCIATION
family banking firm, resigned and
after overcoming a drug problem
finally found his vocation in New York
as a celebrated illustrator and
collaborator with the film-maker Wes
Anderson. Samuel was following an
ordained path: marrying at 20 in a
society wedding with more than 1,000
guests and having four children. Was
she protected from real life? “More
than protected. I was just ignorant.”
She writes about her earlier self,
when she was “quite shut down and
stuck in stiff-upper-lip mode”. Being
like this can be useful, even essential,
she says, but can’t be applied to all
situations, or intimacy suffers. She
went with a friend to an Alcoholics
Anonymous meeting and was
astounded that people were talking
about how they felt. “It was an
absolute revelation.”
In 1987 she met Princess Diana at
a dinner party. She has said: “There
was something about her and
something about me that just worked.”
They were drawn to tough causes,
such as seriously ill children and
breaking through the austerity of
the establishment. But Samuel was
free to get serious about her calling.
After training to master’s level in
psychotherapy she was invited to
pioneer the role of grief therapist for
families whose children had died or
were dying at St Mary’s Hospital,
London. It had “no support for baby
death at all”, she says. She began in
an abandoned broom cupboard and
stayed for more than two decades. Did
she surprise people by transgressing
what was expected of her “set”?
“People never said that.”
She supported refugees from
Somalia, parents of murdered children
and celebrities coping with public loss,
their pain burning away anything but
their common humanity. It was brutal
work and she has been haunted by the
suffering. “I feel very intensely the
preciousness of life.”
She keeps a photograph of Princess
Diana on her dressing table. After she
died, Samuel was “unbelievably furious
— I still am”. She writes in the book
about how important the right support
for bereaved children is, “how much
attention we must pay to them to
ensure they don’t suffer for the rest
of their lives.
“You can never take away the loss.
It will always be a significant part of
someone’s attitude to themselves in
life. But you can make a huge impact
on someone’s resilience. Being allowed
Left: Julia Samuel
and, above, with the
Duke of Cambridge.
Top: with Diana,
Princess of Wales
in 1994
Grief Works: Stories
of Life, Death and
Surviving by Julia
Samuel, Penguin
Life, £9.99
to be a normal child as well as a sad
child. Children learn most from the
adults around them; that’s the biggest
factor in their outcome, how their
other parent is.”
What children want to see, she says,
is their parent grieving, but also
functioning; they can cry together, but
later get on with dinner. In fact, giving
time to grief and carrying on living in
parallel is, she believes, a good model
for adults too. Prince Harry said last
year that for the “first 28 years of my
life I never talked about it”. So when
Samuel was becoming an expert in her
field, was she able to help the princes
during their worst time? “No,” she
says. “Also with a friend it’s different.
I wouldn’t want to talk about that.”
I think she means that it would have
been unethical for her to counsel
those so close to her. Prince William
has become royal patron of Child
Bereavement UK, closing a circle.
Princess Diana attended the launch of
the charity in 1994, lending it her
glamour as a favour to Samuel.
Of Prince William, Samuel says: “He
came to an event last year, sat with
bereaved families. The thing people
always say about him is that after a few
minutes they forgot who he was. He’s a
really good listener. They felt very
touched by that. He has an amazing
empathy, from his own experience.”
Was she a factor in the princes’
increasing openness about their grief,
especially last year, the 20th
anniversary of their mother’s death?
There is a long pause. “I’m really glad
they were so open. Since then many
more men have looked for support.
They’ve been a role model for men.”
This is a running theme of her book.
If the British have struggled to
articulate their feelings, men find it
exponentially more difficult, especially
in the company of other men.
Samuel’s mother died last year as
the book was coming out. I imagined,
as a result of all her experience, this
was a much-discussed death. “I tried
having conversations with her; she
wasn’t going to have them. She turned
cancer into flu within hours of seeing
the doctor. She’d built up ways of
coping and at 90 it wasn’t up to me to
say, ‘Mum, you’re dying.’ ”
Yet her mother had years ago
chosen her coffin and planned the
order of service; “Very generous to
us at that difficult time.” The book
seemed to fill an unmet craving, and
has been published in 16 languages.
The godmother to a future king,
Samuel has a very godmother-ish
quality. She has toned down the
swearing in her public speaking —
“they don’t seem to like it” — but after
her talks gets mobbed by people
wanting to share their grief stories. She
replies to every one of the hundreds of
emails she gets from readers.
How does she want to die? “With
my marbles. I would want my family
to be around. At home.” Is she afraid
of death? “Yeah, a bit. I fear more the
circumstances of it. I know I’m going
to die, just wonder how.”
She is not religious. “I think you live
on in the memories of people you love.
Which doesn’t last very long, unless
you’re Churchill or something.” Or
maybe a royal. But that feels nihilistic,
I say. “Or the opposite, get out and
have a good day. If that’s it, enjoy it.”
The lowdown
Batgirl
Joss Whedon has left DC’s Batgirl.
That’s a shame. For who?
Wonder Woman?
Ha ha. No. Left the movie.
I see. And who exactly is
Joss Whedon?
An American screenwriter,
director, comic-book writer
and composer.
Did you copy that from Wikipedia?
Yes.
So he’s not really anyone we should
know about.
Well, he did create Buffy the
Vampire Slayer.
I LOVE BUFFY.
Don’t get distracted.
OK. Sorry. And what is Batgirl?
The female equivalent of Batman.
Why not Batwoman? Why Batgirl?
It’s Hollywood, remember.
Right. Anyway, why is this news?
Because of why Whedon left.
Which is?
He couldn’t think of a story.
*silence*
Hello?
I’m speechless — a screenwriter,
director, comic-book writer and
composer couldn’t think of a story?
Yup.
Hang on. Wasn’t DC also behind
Wonder Woman, which was one of
the biggest hits of 2017 and had a
message of female empowerment
in tune with the zeitgeist?
Yup.
Interesting. And wasn’t that directed
by Patty Jenkins?
Correct.
Perhaps Batgirl needs a female
director too?
Funny you should say that — it has
been suggested (by The Hollywood
Reporter) that quite a few other
people thought that too. Apparently
Whedon was aware of the flak that
he would face as the male director
of a film with such an
important female lead.
ead.
Hmm. Is that
enlightened?
Or cowardly?
Unconfirmed.
Anyway, more
exciting, I’ve
just checked
Twitter and
Roxane Gay has
offered to write
the script.
Yaaas! DC —
job done.
Hannah Rogers
4
1G T
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
times2
‘Do I get on with Tom?
Yeah. Do I fancy him? No’
The sexual tension between one-legged TV detective Strike and his sidekick Robin
was back on last night. Will they, won’t they, Hilary Rose asks Holliday Grainger
A
s a nation, you
can’t tell much
about us from
what we watch
on a Sunday
night. It’s too
random. Think
about it: on
a Saturday night pretty much
everyone is up for some gentle
Strictly/Ant and Dec fun. On
Sundays all bets are off. Will it be
Antiques Roadshow, bodice ripping
in Poldark or Scandi suspense?
Then last summer there was a new
entry. Sunday nights were suddenly
dominated by a one-legged private
detective called Cormoran Strike.
Adapted from the books by Robert
Galbraith, aka JK Rowling, Strike had
charm, suspense and a tantalising
will they/won’t they storyline
between the two lead characters.
One was Tom Burke playing Strike.
The other was Holliday Grainger
as his sidekick, Robin. A mismatch
made in heaven was born.
As Strike’s assistant, Grainger is a
Botticelli cherub with a Manchester
accent. Robin has lovely, swishy,
strawberry-blond hair and a nice line
in pencil skirts, but she’s no bit of fluff.
She’s bright, organised and keen.
“And,” Grainger says, “I think
that I’m one of the only people who
thinks Robin doesn’t quite realise that
she fancies Strike. Everyone else is,
like, ‘Course she does!’ I’m, like, ‘Does
she? Really?’ ”
That is the question that was raised
last year, and that’s the question that
comes to a head in the new episodes.
In the first two, Grainger says, you’re
getting to know the characters slowly.
Now, things are hotting up, in work
and out of it, “and the frisson comes
out. Do I get on with Tom? Yeah,
really well. Do I fancy him? No.”
Grainger was brought up in
Didsbury, a smart suburb of
Manchester, and called Holliday by
accident. Her parents only decided
what she was going to be called when
they went to register her birth, and
were thinking Molly, or maybe Billie . . .
Billie Holiday . . . bingo.
An only child, she has been acting,
quite by accident, since she was six.
Her mother, who brought her
daughter up on her own after
divorcing her father, worked as a
graphic designer. She happened to
know a casting director at the BBC
in Manchester who was looking for a
little girl Grainger’s age to appear in a
comedy called All Quiet on the Preston
Front. She auditioned, got the part,
and 25 years later she’s still acting.
“It was a complete fluke. It wasn’t
until I was at uni that I thought it
might be a career. I always assumed it
wouldn’t work out, so I thought, ‘I’ll
carry on doing it until then.’ If I hadn’t
Holliday Grainger as Robin in Strike with Tom Burke as Cormoran Strike
got that first audition I don’t think it
would have been something I’d ever
thought about.”
Growing up on set, she says she
always had a level of self-awareness
about what was being asked of her, so
she’s unsurprised by the sexual abuse
scandals engulfing the acting world.
“When you’re on set and it’s just
men, or you’re at men’s houses
rehearsing, there is a certain level
of self-protection about what you’re
being asked to do,” she says warily,
“and how comfortable you feel about
where you might be rehearsing.”
In other words, men tried it on?
“Not even as . . . yeah, maybe. Or
were inappropriate, or you’re being
asked to be in a certain situation,
where you think, ‘Is this necessary?’
If a director wants you to rehearse a
certain scene at his house, or you
agree something that ends up not
being what’s shot . . .” She tails off. “I’ve
had experiences that I don’t think I
would have had if I was a guy. So does
it surprise me what’s been going on?
No. Is it a surprise that it’s turned into
such a huge movement, that it feels
like a change? Yes.”
Only a couple of years ago, she
says, she and other actors — men and
women — would sit around talking
about when this or that person would
have the whistle blown on them.
“It felt like there was such a level
of collusion that it would never come
out. I think that’s part of why the
change feels so good, but also why
I think it felt so murky, because when
you’ve been living in it, you feel like
you’re colluding with it yourself. It
makes you feel almost a little bit
responsible. So I’m excited that this
has to be the start of something
different, something we’re not
going to put up with in future.
“But I’m not ready to hashtag
Me Too yet.” Why not? “Because the
conversation’s started. I don’t need to
add my experiences.”
Grainger spent her teens learning
how to act on shows such as Casualty
and Where the Heart Is. She combined
school work with learning up to
14 pages a day of dialogue, much of
it badly written. So much so that she
used to think good acting was about
making bad dialogue seem believable.
It was a fluke. It
was only at uni
that I thought it
might be a career
She was clever enough to have
career options: she was interviewed for
a place to read English at Oxford, but
by the sound of it neither party was
particularly impressed — she asked
them how much time she could have
off for acting jobs, which isn’t a
textbook way to show enthusiasm.
Then one of the other interviewees
referred casually to her and another
boy, from Birmingham, as “the
northerners’’. It was, she has said, her
first experience of the class system
“and the first time I’d really thought
of myself as being northern. I was, like,
‘Birmingham? Birmingham isn’t the
north.’ But no wonder I didn’t get in.”
Instead she went to Leeds, but
dropped out reluctantly in the second
year when the university pointed out
to her that studying for a degree might
not be entirely compatible with
filming a mini-series in Hungary about
the Borgias. She has worked steadily
e
ever
since. Much of her work has been
in costume dramas, so by the time
Strike
came along she was desperate
S
to break out of the corsets. And Strike
is the holy grail for young actors: a
regular gig. She even knows that she’s
re
paid the same as Burke, because she
p
was mistakenly sent his contract.
w
Growing up, there wasn’t much
money, and she’s careful with it. She
m
has bought a house in Manchester,
h
where she spends very little time. Her
w
cclose group of girlfriends from way
back still live there, and many of them
b
have
babies. Grainger, on the other
h
hand,
is child-free and lives in north
h
London
with her long-term boyfriend,
L
the actor Harry Treadaway.
th
She says she has been broody since
she
sh first started producing oestrogen.
Now
N the Manchester babies are
wreaking
havoc with her plans for
w
her
h 30th birthday next month — she
initially
thought it would be fun to fly
init
her friends over for a jolly old time on
the prosecco, but it’s not to be.
The first thing you notice about
Strike is the oversized coat. The first
thing you notice about Robin is,
Grainger reckons, her hair.
“Not mine,” she says, sadly. “That’s
hours and hours of extensions and
dyeing. In the book she’s a strawberry
blonde with long, eye-catching hair.
Mine’s shorter and darker.”
In the new instalment matters come
to a head with Robin and her wet
fiancé, not least over who is filmed
doing the cooking and cleaning. “It
was always me,” Grainger says, “so we
changed that in this one, ’cos I was
getting annoyed with it.”
The ending won’t make everyone
happy, including arguably the
characters, but let’s not spoil it. Suffice
to say, Rowling is finishing the fourth
book, which should be filmed next
year or the year after. Famously
controlling of her work, she has an
executive-producer credit on Strike,
but Grainger thinks that the first
Rowling had heard of her was when
she auditioned. Rowling watches all
the rushes, Grainger says, and gives
very specific notes about whether a
particular thing she’s doing is right.
Grainger has a film in Dublin to
shoot and a trip to Los Angeles to see
if there’s work there. She’s ambitious,
she says, but not so much that she
can sit here and say: “I want to be in
Hollywood movies and win an Oscar.”
Maybe eventually she’ll chuck it all
in, move to Manchester where her
mother still lives, and have babies? “I
could move back to Manchester, have
babies and still have a career,” she
counters. “I’m further in my career
than I ever really believed I would be.
I’m not going to chuck it all in.”
Strike is on BBC One on Sundays at
9pm and Strike: The Silkworm is
available on DVD
the times | Monday February 26 2018
5
1G T
times2
MIKE MARSLAND/GETTY IMAGES
He tried to scuttle out of my
flat on a Sunday morning . . .
A boyfriend left then ‘ghosted’ me, says Charlotte Gill
Bad dating
behaviour:
a glossary
Breadcrumbing
Engage in sporadic
flirting — a like on
Instagram or a
suggestive text every
couple of months. You
have no intention of
dating seriously, but
want to keep them
around just in case.
Benching
Regularly text and
call, but never suggest
meeting — you’re
keeping them as an
option on the “bench”.
Deep-liking
Show your interest by
liking their social
media posts, but only
the ones buried deep in
the Facebook archive.
It proves that you
spend hours scrolling
through photos.
Haunting
Get back in touch
after a long period of
silence, but in a very
non-committal way.
You don’t make direct
contact, but follow
them on Twitter or
similar. Creepy.
Grainger at the Bafta
awards this year
Stashing
Don’t introduce them
to your friends or
family and leave no
trace of your romance
on social media. You
are keeping the person
a secret just as you’d
stash away old tracksuit
bottoms you don’t want
to get rid of.
Elisabeth Perlman
W
hen I had an
argument with the
man I had been seeing
for three months, I
never expected it to
end in silence. I say argument; it was
more of an attempt at a conversation.
One which I should have had much,
much earlier (ladies, be warned).
He had tried to scuttle out of my flat
at 10.30 on a Sunday morning. We had
spent Saturday evening together, and I
had expected the rest of the weekend
to be dedicated to “couple activities”:
walks, staring into each other’s eyes
over chai latte and the rest. I wanted
more quality time with him.
I had grown tired of our once-aweek meet-ups, so I had it out. “Why
are you going? Do you really have to
rush off?” I began. Then: “Do
Do
you want to be single?
le? Is
this . . . casual?”
He wouldn’t reply,
y,
but stared at me
blankly, as if I had
discovered he was
a masked
murderer on the
run. Eventually
the words came
out. “I don’t want
to have a
conversation. I just
want to go home,” he
said in a sexy French
ch
accent. (Did I mention
ion he
was French? This makes it all
the harder to break up. Even a
croissant sends me into despair.)
Afterwards, I prepared for the worst:
that he would say goodbye. I also
thought about saying farewell (but
alas he was very sexy). What hit me
much harder than any of these
hypotheticals, though, was the utter
silence that followed. It continued
for days and days, until it had been
more than a week.
This, in the world of dating, is called
“ghosting”. It is when the person
you’ve been seeing can’t bring
themselves to say it’s over, so they go a
bit Charlie Chaplin instead. Maybe
they think it’s kinder this way, but it’s
confusing (and I’m being polite here).
Humans feast on false hope.
Ghosting is not so much of a dating
phenomenon, but something I have
noticed in many facets of life. For
instance, when I graduated, two years
after the financial crash, and started
applying for jobs I was inundated with
rejections. Yet strangely, worse than
being told no was being told nothing.
Especially because, for some of these
applications, I had broken a serious
sweat to impress potential employers.
I had taken long journeys, sometimes
involving train fares and sometimes
multiple interviews. One boss even got
me to plan a whole PR campaign for
his company. Then silence.
These experiences have taught me
how important it is to reply to people,
even when you have something
negative to say.
I think the British are fairly hopeless
at transparency. We aren’t assertive
and tiptoe
with our language
langu
causing offence
around cau
upset. Mobile
and ups
phones have made it
phone
easier to duck out
easie
of tthis part of life
— we don’t have
to see people
face-to-face and
fa
deal with the
de
consequences
co
— as well as
fragmented social
fra
circles. Divided
circl
networks prevent
netwo
gossip ffrom being
which means it’s
spread, wh
ignore others
possible to ign
noticing.
without anyone else no
This is a sad state of affairs, not least
because replies matter. Explanations
help others to process events. Without
the truth there is a tendency to invent
reality. Providing closure (awful word)
is the only way to break the spell.
I’m trying to be better at replying. I
started this week with an insurance
adviser, someone whose feelings I
wouldn’t normally care about. He was
nice and helpful, but in the end I
wasn’t interested. I thought about
ignoring his helpful email — it would
have been much easier — but instead I
told him: “Thank you, but you’re too
expensive.” Two minutes later he
replied to say he hoped everything
went well for me. The cliché is true.
The truth will set you free, even if it’s
hurriedly typed in a text.
6
1G T
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
life
Ask Professor Tanya Byron
My elderly father ignores my calls, puts
me down and refuses my offers of help
N
I’m in a dilemma
about my relationship
with my father.
He never phones
me back when
I leave a message
and is proving to be a nightmare.
He is 89, lives on his own and
moans about everything, from not
being able to keep on top of domestic
duties such as washing clothes and
cleaning the house to the care my
mum receives in her care home. I
have suggested he get a home help
and assistance with meals and even
that he should try assisted living, but
he is very obstinate and just ploughs
on regardless.
What makes this worse is that he
has always put me down and still
makes outrageous comments to me
about myself, which has gone on
since I was a child. This has affected
my confidence and self-esteem.
It has reached the stage where
I have had enough. I don’t want to
worry about him or get annoyed at
him for not returning my calls.
He has only been to my home once
in seven years, even though he
is able to travel.
The whole situation drives me nuts.
Do you have any suggestions?
Jason
Q
N
You are clearly
concerned for your
father, but also
frustrated by his lack
of engagement with
the support you offer.
As is normal for many people who
are supporting ageing parents, you
hold a sense of responsibility and a
duty of care in the present, but are
also dealing with difficult memories
and associated feelings about your
father from the past. Therefore you
feel conflicted by what you think you
should do for him alongside how you
feel about him, which is compounded
by his lack of engagement. I suspect
this is what you are describing when
you say that the whole situation
“drives me nuts”.
The central question is whether
or not you feel able to support your
father, or indeed whether you want
to. This is not something I can advise
on. For some people the filial
obligation to parents is difficult to
navigate when the relationship has
not been happy or close.
However, if you continue to
support your father as best you can,
then to find it less emotionally and
psychologically arduous you will
have to shift your perception of him
and his behaviour so you can cope.
It may be useful to first consider
where he is in terms of the demands
of his time of life. This may do nothing
to change how he behaves (I would
caution against any such expectation),
but could enable you to navigate
your relationship with less emotional
cost to you.
A useful model when doing this
thinking is one proposed by the
developmental psychologist and
A
psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, who
described a developmental framework
based on eight psychosocial stages
that are navigated between birth
and death. He proposed that at each
stage we have to face a psychosocial
“crisis” that we resolve or not and that
these provide turning points for
personality development.
Erikson’s final stage is later
adulthood, from age 65, which is where
we begin to experience significant life
changes and losses (friendships,
partners, career, social roles, where we
live) and are facing mortality. We also,
Erikson suggests, struggle with a crisis
Lack of control
represents an
enormous issue
faced in older age
between integrity and despair; in other
words, as we look back over our life, do
we feel an overall sense of fulfilment
and satisfaction or regret and despair?
Such reminiscences and introspections
are best navigated with
th those who
are close to us.
It is not possible to know what your
father may or may not
ot be considering
in his final years, but his reflections
may lead him to uncomfortable
omfortable or
unhappy feelings (and
d even anger)
about himself and his life, including
those related to his integrity
ntegrity as a
father. Such feelings may be
internalised and lead to anxiety
and depression, which
h may explain
his avoidance of contact
act with
you and his obvious sense
ense of
dissatisfaction with life
fe
alongside his resistance
ce to
accept support.
Control, specifically the
lack of it, represents an
n
enormous issue faced in
older age as we experience
ience
the deterioration of
physical health and ability
bility
and have to accept
reductions in our mental
ntal
acuity and changes to
overall cognitive capacity.
city.
Short-term memory
becomes compromised
d
and nostalgia, driven
by our long-term
memories, can bring joy
oy
as well as pain, pleasure
re
but also regret.
Control is also
compromised as
losses stack up. Your
father has “lost” your
mother in terms of
who she was and how
w
they have lived
together. He may have
ve
lost friends to death
and his independencee
is compromised as
he struggles to cope
with daily living.
Therefore, while your task-focused
approach is entirely sensible, it is no
surprise that your father resists the
idea of accepting care or leaving his
home. He is clearly unhappy with
the care your mother receives, but
is also holding on to his sense of
independence. This may explain in
part why he avoids talking to you:
because he does not want to face
the reality of his life and lose any
control he still holds.
Alongside this you have your
own life pressures and challenges,
which are different and perhaps
even in direct conflict with your
father’s. In addition, what your father
faces in his final years represents a
psychological and emotional place
where you don’t want to go.
All of this indicates that the best
way to feel able to support your father
comes from you accepting who he is,
understanding what he’s facing and
tolerating the frustrations he causes
you. By understanding his experience
you’ll be better able to cope with his
reactions and communicate with him
and help him by avoiding conflict and
power struggles and trying to build
some kind of partnership.
In practical terms, if you feel
that your father is unable to
for himself, then his
adequately care fo
informed. See Age UK
GP should be info
and the NHS at
at bit.ly/2F2fgJo an
bit.ly/2osPhAf for advice on this and
related to enabling an
other issues relate
ageing relative to gget support.
him by setting up an
Make time for h
agreed time to call and planned visits.
that you appreciate
Explain to him tha
reluctant to discuss issues
that he is reluctan
relating to how he chooses to live.
When he complains,
complain try to let him
dissatisfaction, given the
vent his dissatisfac
losses he is dealing
many lo
Try not to take any
with. T
criticisms personally
criticis
and tr
try to view them
as a p
projection of his
unhappiness
on to you.
unh
Understanding doesn’t
Un
condone
behaviour,
co
it just makes it easier
to deal with.
As
A your father
navigates
this
na
challenging
time of
c
his
h life, listen to him
and
a give him space
to reminisce. You
may
m have to accept
that
th you cannot
change
past aspects
ch
of your relationship
with
wi your father, but
could
perhaps find a
co
way to support him in
these last
l years of his life.
And to achieve
this, I
a
suggest, w
would not only
be of valu
value to your father,
but also reparative
for you
re
in terms of yyour confidence
and self-estee
self-esteem.
If you have a problem
and would like Professor
Tanya Byron’s help, email
proftanyabyron@thetimes.co.uk
proftanyabyron@
Secret
What happened to
the military insider
who exposed the
regime’s atrocities?
One woman knows.
Adam Sage met her
T
he vagaries of Parisian
life have faded into
insignificance for
Garance Le Caisne.
After discovering the
depths of human
cruelty, after catching
a glimpse of atrocities
that she compares to the Holocaust,
the city has come to seem trivial to her.
A meal with friends? “I don’t find
the time any more, and I suppose that
is because it doesn’t really interest
me,” she says. A Metro strike? “I can
understand why people moan, but I
couldn’t care less. There are things
that are more important for me now.”
Le Caisne grew up amid the fashion
stores, philosophers and gastronomic
excellence of the Left Bank, but her
priorities have been altered by her
work as a journalist during the civil
war in Syria. Her manner is simple,
she has none of the exuberant makeup beloved by most Parisians and her
flat near Montparnasse is spartan,
decorated with little more than a desk,
a table, a couple of chairs and a bed.
Le Caisne is the author of Operation
Caesar, an acclaimed book on the
barbaric violence perpetrated with
cold, bureaucratic efficiency in Bashar
al-Assad’s name that will be published
in Britain in March. The work, which
was published in France in 2015, has
been translated into nine languages
and won an important literary prize in
Germany. It is a document on which
historians will draw when they pass
judgment on Assad’s brutal regime.
Its protagonists — the author and
those whom she interviewed —
wanted it to be more than that. They
hoped that it would be the instrument
of Assad’s downfall. The realisation
that he will not fall — at least not yet
— has left them with a sense of
bitterness that may explain Le Caisne’s
inability to share in the upbeat mood
that has settled on Paris recently.
Operation Caesar discloses the
accounts of opponents to the regime
who were locked up, beaten, starved
and tortured, but eventually freed,
often after a bribe, to tell their horrific
tales. Above all, though, it is based on
more than 40 hours of conversations
with a man who witnessed the
abomination, a whistleblower who
risked his life to show the world what
it meant to fall foul of Assad.
He was a member of a
military police unit charged with
photographing the emaciated bodies
of those who died after being detained
by the Syrian authorities. The soldier,
known through his alias, Caesar — his
true identity is a carefully guarded
secret — managed to make copies of
photographs of 6,627 people killed in
24 different detention centres.
the times | Monday February 26 2018
7
1G T
times2
war: the man who took on Assad
When these were brought out of
Syria in 2013 and revealed to the
international community, he was
much sought-after. Human-rights
lawyers leapt on Caesar’s testimony as
irrefutable proof of Assad’s crimes
against humanity. Western diplomats
gazed in shock at the stark evidence of
their failure. Damascus reportedly
ordered its intelligence agents to find
and kill Caesar. Meanwhile, Le Caisne,
51, who has covered the Syrian conflict
for French newspapers and magazines,
was asked by a Parisian publishing
house to interview him.
The search for Caesar “became a
sort of obsession for me”, she says in
her quiet flat above the bustling streets
of the capital. “I’d been to Syria several
times and seen what was happening
above ground: the bombings, the
barrel bombs, the missiles, the death;
all that I had seen very close up. Now
I wanted to see what was hidden from
view and to bring out the cries of the
people we were not hearing.”
The hunt was time-consuming and
stressful — especially, she says, for her
husband, who is a journalist on a
regional French paper, and her two
teenage daughters. “If you cover a war
it’s because you want to,” she says.
Le Caisne believes that she was less
courageous than single mothers
bringing up their children on their own
and less courageous than her family in
France too. “I don’t do much around
the house, and I think in a way my
husband has a certain form of courage
to put up with all that. He couldn’t
sleep whenever I left for Syria, but I
always slept well in Aleppo. When
you’re in the midst of the action you’re
OK, but when you’re not you have to
be brave to accept the situation.”
Le Caisne spent six months looking
for Caesar, contacting members of
Syrian opposition groups that were
in touch with him and getting to
know the friend, named in the book as
Sami, who encouraged him to copy
the photographs and arranged for
them to be brought out of Syria.
On occasions the quest seemed
futile. Caesar feared for his life and
was reluctant to expose himself to
further publicity. Twice Le Caisne
almost abandoned the project. Then
one day, while she was chatting by
Skype to Sami and explaining how
important it was for the world to hear
Caesar’s story, Caesar’s voice came on
the line and he agreed to meet her.
The sense of elation felt by Le Caisne
that day is still evident as she points
with childlike excitement at the desk in
the corner of her flat at which she was
sitting when she first heard Caesar’s
voice. Yet what he had to say during a
series of face-to-face meetings with her
was sombre and depressing.
Before the war Caesar had worked as
a lowly photographer for a military
police forensic service, recording crime
scenes, road accidents or suicides.
When the unrest that had rippled
across the Arab world during the spring
of 2011 reached Syria, his work evolved.
The bodies he was asked to photograph
had suffered starvation and torture.
Many bore injuries and marks and
some had their eyes gouged out.
None had a name, but all had
numbers so that they could be filed in
the regime’s archives. The system
ensured that officials could find their
identity, but their relatives could not.
Caesar was troubled by what he was
seeing. He wanted to desert and told
Sami, a childhood friend who was an
activist in the anti-regime movement.
Sami persuaded him to stay and
gather evidence of Assad’s atrocities.
For two years Caesar did just that,
copying his pictures on to USB sticks,
which he secretly took out of his office
in the knowledge that he would end
up like the corpses he photographed if
he were caught. He never was, and in
2013 Sami arranged for the images to
Garance Le Caisne.
Top, from left: Syrian
army soldiers at the
police headquarters in
Damascus; wounded
Syrians at a makeshift
hospital in Kafr Batna
I’d seen
what was
happening
above
ground in
Syria. I
wanted to
see what
was hidden
be smuggled
out of Syria
and shown to
the world.
Caesar and
Sami also left the
country, convinced
that they had played a
pivotal role in its history.
“They really thought in a naive and
simple way that when they brought
out the photos, a few months later
Bashar would fall, the regime would
fall,” Le Caisne says. “They really
thought the world would open its eyes
and say Bashar al-Assad and the other
members of his regime are criminals.
In fact, that is not what happened.”
The photographs were seen in high
places — at the French foreign
ministry, the UN High Commissioner
for Human Rights and the US House
Foreign Affairs Committee. Every
time diplomats fell silent as they
looked at bodies so thin, so badly
treated that they were reminiscent
of Nazi concentration camps. “It’s
awful, horrific,” said Laurent Fabius,
France’s foreign minister at the time.
Neither he nor any other western
diplomats were spurred on to a new
course of action, however. On the
contrary, Barack Obama drew his “red
line” — the use of chemical weapons
— Assad crossed it, bombarding a
suburb of Damascus with sarin gas in
2013 and the US failed to react. The
void was promptly filled by President
Putin, who with Iran has successfully
propped up the Syrian regime.
Caesar, who is in hiding, has been
left to wonder why he risked his life.
“Knowing what he does today, I am
not sure he would do it again,” Le
Caisne says. “His feelings fluctuate a
lot, but he is very disappointed and
he goes through periods where he
is depressed. He knows he did what
had to be done, but it’s extremely
frustrating for him because he would
like to go back to live in Syria, and he
would like the regime to fall and for the
criminals to be judged before a court.
When he hears [western] politicians
say we can talk with Bashar al-Assad it
seems unimaginable to him.”
Le Caisne’s feelings are similar.
Softly spoken yet passionate about the
Syrian conflict, she was affected by
Caesar’s photos and even more so by
listening to the accounts of those
tortured by the regime, such as Mazen
al-Hummada, an activist detained in
an 11m-by-6m cell with 180 other
people who while in prison was made
a forced labourer, carrying out the
bodies of those inmates who died.
Le Caisne says the survivors to
whom she has spoken have the same
haggard look as those who emerged
from Nazi concentration camps. “They
have been totally destroyed and, like
the survivors of Auschwitz, they are no
longer part of our world.
“I think there will be a before and
after Syria for humanity. It’s as though
we’ve ejected them. It’s staggering,
unimaginable, untellable what is
happening there and yet we don’t allow
them to have justice. And that is why I
think they are no longer in our world.”
For her part, Le Caisne has been left
with the torment of self-doubt. “The
book changed me,” she says. “There
is an emptiness now and sometimes
I don’t feel part of this world either. I
ask myself a lot of questions: about
what purpose I serve.”
Assad’s survival has engendered
frustration and anger with the West
for failing to stand up to Putin and for
failing to obtain peace and justice for
Syria. To Le Caisne, it is as though
Caesar has offered us a glimpse of
another Holocaust, occurring right
under our noses, and we looked away.
Operation Caesar: At the Heart
of the Syrian Death Machine by
Garance Le Caisne is published by
Polity Press on March 9, £14.99
8
1G T
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
arts
‘He was a wild
man. We had an
affair nonetheless’
Judy Collins and Stephen Stills never worked out as a couple,
but 50 years later they have made an album together. They
tell Will Hodgkinson why this is the relationship that will last
I
t is one of the most romantic
songs in rock: an ode to an exgirlfriend written in the hope of
wooing her back. Suite: Judy Blue
Eyes is not just a high point in
the career of Crosby, Stills and
Nash, but, with its multiple
sections, rich harmonies, jazzy
shifts and personal, hopeful words
about a troubled love affair, a high
point of the 1960s overall. It is quite an
achievement on the part of Stephen
Stills, its composer. It also completely
failed to achieve its goal.
“He came to see me on May 1, 1969,
in Santa Monica, on my birthday,” says
Judy Collins, whose clear, pale blue
eyes remain undimmed at 78. “And as
far as I was concerned we were really
finished. He bought me a beautiful
Martin guitar as a birthday present,
and he sat down and played Judy Blue
Eyes. I was blown away. I said, ‘That
was really beautiful. It’s not going to
get me back.’ You have to hand it to
Stephen. He tried everything.”
“Judy said her goose was cooked
upon hearing my first guitar part,” says
Stills of their brief, torrid love affair,
which came after he offered to play
on Collins’s 1968 album Who Knows
Where the Time Goes. “I was smitten a
few years earlier, wearing her records
out after a cold night of touring basket
houses in Greenwich Village.”
By the time Stills became a superstar
with Crosby, Stills and Nash in 1969,
however, it was all over. That left him
to write songs that formed, in his
words, “an almost-too-close romantic
diary, alluding to the whirlwind Judy
and I tried to tame”.
Almost 50 years later something
strange has happened. Collins and
Stills have made an album together.
Everybody Knows, named after a
particularly black-humoured Leonard
Cohen number, features songs written
separately by Stills and Collins
alongside others with a relevance to
their enduring friendship. There is Judy,
We were on the
high scale of
anxiety and
ambition
which Stills wrote shortly after their
break-up and was lost for decades; and
Houses, written by Collins about Stills
in 1972, three years after their split. You
have to wonder why it has taken them
so long to do something together.
“We were wondering the same
thing,” says Collins, who really doesn’t
seem her age: she is very thin, with
cascades of silvery hair against a black
shirt and black jeans, and talks with
unguarded enthusiasm. “He was so
busy with Crosby, Stills and Nash and
I was busy too, but then CS&N went
off the screen because the boys had a
big fight and it kind of opened up. He’s
always saying, ‘I’m so happy because I
have no stress. It was always so
stressful with the guys.’ I mean they’re
lovely, but they’re difficult. Whatever
happened between them, Stephen was
just happy because with us there was
no drama, no screaming, no anxiety.”
You wonder if Collins and Stills felt
that old chemistry return. She points
out that Stills is married with seven
children (“none of whom are mine”),
she has been married to the designer
Louis Nelson since 1996 and the
romance between her and Stills was
never going to last.
Find love through what you love.
Dating is always easier when you start out with
something in common. The Times Dating is the place
to meet Times readers who have the same interests
(and intellect) as you. Just think, this page could be
the beginning of your next chapter.
Start your story at thetimesdating.co.uk
the times | Monday February 26 2018
9
1G T
CHRIS SORENSEN / REDUX / EYEVINE; ANNA WEBBER; ROBERT ALTMAN/RETNA; GETTYY
arts
I did great
work as an
alcoholic. It
was grounded
Fresh from the split with his old
band Buffalo Springfield in 1968, Stills
hassled the producer David Anderle
into hiring him for Collins’s album.
Much to Stills’s consternation, given
that Buffalo Springfield had been a big
band and he had an ego to match, she
had no idea who he was.
“He was a mess,” Collins says of her
first impression of Stills. “He was a
wild man. But then he was so
wonderful to be with, so brilliant,
good-looking and charming, that we
had a love affair nonetheless. I was
in awe of his guitar playing and knew
we were compatible musically. Turns
out we weren’t so compatible in the
romantic way.”
“We met at the Whisky a Go Go
in LA, on the night Eric Clapton
premiered Cream,” Stills says. “I later
accosted David Anderle in an elevator,
Stephen Stills and
Judy Collins and, top,
in 1968. Above left:
Collins today and,
above right, in 1969
saying I simply must play on her
record because hearing her voice was
like coming across a unicorn. He was
clever. He told Judy I had deigned to
play on her album. In fact, I had
begged to play on it.”
What went wrong between them?
“I had just had a big hit with Both Sides
Now, he was about to go into Crosby,
Stills and Nash and we all knew that
was going to be huge, and we were
from different worlds,” Collins says.
“I lived in New York, I was in therapy.
Stephen was in LA and I wouldn’t have
survived out there. We were on the
high scale of anxiety and ambition and
after a few months it just didn’t work
any more. It happens.”
“But Judy and I never lost track of
each other,” Stills says. “We remained
close friends. And now we are doing
the obvious, having discovered our
vocal blend while singing together in
the car all those years ago. I don’t see
this stopping for a very long time.”
Collins has been acclaimed for the
people she has discovered as much as
for her crystalline vocal prowess, and
Everybody Knows acknowledges that
through its choice of cover versions.
There is Girl From the North Country
by Bob Dylan, whom she first
encountered in 1960 at the
Gilded Garter, a rough
gh strip
joint in Denver, Colorado,
rado,
where the young singer
ger
was singularly failing
to win over the
rowdy locals.
“Put it this way.
You wouldn’t have
said, ‘Nobel prize
winner’ in the same
sentence as Robert
Zimmerman,” Collinss
says. “He was
homeless, always trying
ng
to get a job and badlyy
dressed even by the standards
tandards
of the 1960s. He was a lost soul —
cute, but lost. He was doing old blues
and Woody Guthrie songs, badly sung,
badly chosen. Then by 1963 he was
at New York Town Hall performing
Blowin’ in the Wind and it was dazzling.
What happened? Could this really be
the guy I knew? I wrote him a fan
letter. He didn’t answer it.”
Then there is Leonard Cohen.
Collins forced the Canadian oracle of
gloom on to a stage in early 1967,
thereby turning an acclaimed poet
into a performer. “He came to my
apartment in 1966 and said, ‘I can’t
sing, I can’t play guitar and I don’t
know if this is a song,’ ” she says.
“Then he sang Suzanne. He thought he
had a terrible voice, but once people
knew my version of Suzanne they
wanted him to sing it, so I took him to
a big benefit concert in New York and
pushed him on to the stage. He
stopped in the middle and began to
sob before walking off. I told him he
had to go back. He said he wouldn’t. I
said I would go on with him. He
returned before this huge crowd, they
fell in love with him and he never
stopped singing after that. Did you
know that he died on the morning of
the US election? He was the most
brilliant man I know because he didn’t
have to live with this thing the rest of
us are now dealing with.”
All of this sounds as if Collins has
lived a charmed life. When I ask her if
she enjoyed fame, however, she says
she was always too filled with anxiety
to appreciate anything she achieved.
The problem was alcohol. Her father
was an alcoholic, many of her relatives
are and have been heavy drinkers, and
it was the boozing that caused the
anxiety, not the other way round.
“I did great work as an alcoholic,”
she says. “It was grounded, it was
sensitive to what the songs needed,
and I was trained vigilantly to do this
under any circumstances. From Both
Sides Now to Send in the Clowns I never
missed a show, but I was becoming
more and more of a drunk and
eventually I had my blowout, wreckthe-career year. In 1977 there was a
big sign on Sunset Boulevard: ‘Collins
Cancels 45 Shows.’ Nobody
wanted to go
g near me.”
The turning
point
tu
came with
w a 1977
appearance
on The
appea
Muppet
Mup Show in
London,
featuring
Lon
Collins
singing
Co
There
Was an
Th
Old Lady Who
Swallowed
a Fly.
Sw
She just about
managed
to get
man
through
throu the filming
before
having to fly
before h
back
back to New
Ne York to
have
capillary removed
h
ave a capillar
from
from her vocal cords, a side-effect of
drinking. “I was dying of alcoholism, in
drinking
fact. Now I’m almost 40 years sober.”
Last year Collins and Stills did a
50-date tour through the US that was
so successful that Stills told Collins
they should have skipped out on the
love affair and gone straight to the
singing duo. “But then he would never
have written Judy Blue Eyes,” she says.
“He called me one day in ’72 and went
on and on about what was going on in
his life and never asked me how I was,
so I wrote Houses as a way of telling
him. The problem is, it took him
another 40 years to hear it.”
Isn’t that the kind of typical rock-star
behaviour that doomed her relationship
with Stills in the first place? “Yes, but at
the same time now I’m a rock’n’roll
guitar player in a band with Stephen
Stills. How delicious is that?”
Everybody Knows by Stills and
Collins (Sony) is out on Friday
Ektertaikmekts
Theatres
HER MAJESTY'S 020 7087 7762
THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
THE PHANTOM OF
THE OPERA
Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30
www.ThePhantonOfTheOpera.com
Book your advertisement or
announcement now at:
thetimes.co.uk/ advertise
QUEEN'S
0844 482 5160
The Musical Phenomenon
LES MISÉRABLES
Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30
www.LesMis.com
St Martin's
020 7836 1443
66th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
Mon-Sat 7.30, Tues & Thu 3, Sat 4
www.the-mousetrap.co.uk
Vaudeville Theatre 0330 333 4814
Oscar Wilde's LADY
WINDERMERE'S
FAN
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Thu & Sat 2.30
Classicspring.co.uk
%
Please be advised that
calls to the numbers
can cost up to im mer
mikute plus your network
provider’s costs.
10
1G T
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
television & radio
Rowling strikes gold again with her Soho sleuth
Carol
Midgley
TV review
Strike: Career of Evil
BBC One
{{{{(
Top Gear
BBC Two
{{{{(
S
trike: Career of Evil is only the
third Cormoran Strike novel to
be adapted for TV, but that he
already feels like a favourite
comfy cardigan in the schedule
is a reminder of how very good
JK Rowling is at painting characters
that stick (I know we’re supposed to
say “Robert Galbraith”, but — really?).
This promises to be the best series
yet, despite the premise being
preposterous. Flea-bitten detective
Strike (Tom Burke) and his sidekick,
Robin (Holliday Grainger), received
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Civilisation: A
Sceptic’s Guide
Radio 4, 11am
Civilisation was, for the
historian Kenneth Clark,
a simple thing. A singular
thing too: civilisation.
Not, as in the new series,
Civilisations. To Clark there
was us. And there was them.
The art of these cultures
offered a similarly stark
dichotomy: we made nice
art, they made rubbish
stuff. In this programme the
historian David Cannadine
takes issue with Clark’s idea
of civilisation as us versus
them. Edith Hall appears
to point out that the word
barbarian was taken from a
civilisation that the Greeks
considered barbarian.
The Essay: Are You
Paying Attention?
Radio 3, 10.45pm
Are you? Are you paying
attention as you read this?
Or are you reading this
with one eye and scrolling
through paint colours on
your phone with the other?
Or perhaps, before you’ve
even finished this sentence,
has a message arrived
making your phone buzz
and your mind wander? We
are in a crisis of attention
span. In these essays
Madeleine Bunting looks
at what this means — and
who makes money from it.
a severed human leg in the post.
Amazing — I get 20 questions at the
Post Office if I want to send my mum
a blouse. This has added significance
because Strike had a leg blown off in
Afghanistan, so we have a psycho with
a sense of irony. “It’s not even in my
size,” Strike said ruefully.
There is a dark backstory involving
child sex abuse and possibly the
murder of Strike’s mother. However
this drama has the Morse quality of
being a comforting watch even when
wallowing in the worst of human evil.
Grainger gave her best performance so
far as Robin, who, bafflingly, is engaged
to an absolute arse whom she discovers
slept with her friend at a time when
Robin was probably a bit “off” sex,
having just been raped by a stranger.
Matthew is such an A-grade tosser
that you struggle to believe that Robin
would fancy him, but her distress,
combined with Strike’s doe-eyed
tenderness, reignited the will-theywon’t-they question (I hope not — it
would ruin the yearning dynamic) and
provided some memorable scenes.
Much effort is made to give Strike’s
truncated limb authenticity (is it
CGI?) and Burke is so good that you
almost forget he’s an able-bodied man
pretending to be an amputee. Nice too
to see Matt King (Super Hans from
Peep Show) popping up as a drugaddled musician and woman-abuser:
Super Hans gone very bad indeed.
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg James
& Adele Roberts 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James & Adele Roberts 7.00 Annie Mac
9.00 The 8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Radio 1’s Drum & Bass
Show with Rene LaVice 3.00 Radio 1’s
Specialist Chart with Phil Taggart 4.00
Early Breakfast with Jordan North
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Craig Charles 5.00
Simon Mayo. Michael Palin on the DVD
release of The Death of Stalin 7.00 The
Blues Show with Paul Jones. New and classic
blues tracks 8.00 Jo Whiley. Music and chat
10.00 Johnnie Walker’s Long-Players. KD
Lang’s 1992 album Ingenue, and Nanci
Griffith’s 1988 release Storms 11.00 David
Rodigan. The DJ showcases his love of reggae
12.00 Johnnie Walker’s Sounds of the 70s
(r) 2.00am Radio 2’s Jazz Playlists 3.00
Radio 2 Playlists: Great British Songbook
4.00 Radio 2 Playlists: Hidden Treasures
5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show. Including 7.00, 8.00 News.
7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Suzy Klein presents the best in classical
music and the percussionist Evelyn Glennie
reveals the cultural influences that have
inspired and shaped her life and career
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Richard Strauss (1864-1949)
Donald Macleod examines the life and music
of the German composer, beginning in 1894,
when the 30-year-old Strauss took a post at
the Munich Opera House, his most important
conducting job to date. Richard Strauss
(Morgen!, Op 27, No 4; Till Eulenspiegels
lustige Streiche; Wiegenlied, Op 41, No 1;
and Salome — excerpts)
1.00pm News
1.02 Live Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Clemency Burton-Hill presents a recital from
London’s Wigmore Hall in which Aleksandar
Madzar performs Beethoven (Piano Sonata
No 29 in B flat, Op 106 —Hammerklavier)
Tom Burke as Cormoran Strike, our next great TV detective
2.00 Afternoon Concert
The BBC Concert Orchestra is Tom McKinney’s
featured orchestra this week, starting with a
concert they gave just over a week ago at the
Watford Colosseum with their new Principal
Conductor Bramwell Tovey. Britten
(Variations on a theme of Frank Bridge);
Joseph Turrin (Hemispheres — UK premiere);
Elgar (Variations on an Original Theme
“Enigma”); Sherwood (Double Concerto);
and Cowen (Symphony No 5)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty with a lively mix of
chat, arts news and live performance.
Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
In Tune’s specially curated playlist:
an imaginative, eclectic mix of music,
featuring favourites together with
lesser-known gems, with a few surprises
thrown in for good measure. The
perfect way to usher in your evening
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Nicola Heywood Thomas presents as
period instrument orchestra the English
Consort joins forces with early music
singers the Erebus Ensemble, under the
direction of Harry Bicket, to perform
Bach (B Minor Mass, BWV 232)
10.00 Music Matters
Tom Service meets Christophe Rousset, the
inspirational harpsichordist and conductor,
founder of the period instrument ensemble
Les Talens Lyriques. Plus a report from
Liverpool on music career opportunities
available today for young people, and the
state of music education in rural areas (r)
10.45 The Essay:
Are You Paying Attention?
In the first of five essays, the writer and
journalist Madeleine Bunting begins a
week-long exploration of why attention has
become a major social concern. Attention,
she finds, is now big business — where we
cast our eyes on a computer screen, and for
how long, has become a key factor in
advertising. Attention is something we both
“pay” and want to “attract” — and for a
journalist, Madeleine admits, it can be
quite addictive. See Radio Choice
11.00 Jazz Now
Soweto Kinch presents the French bass
clarinettist Louis Sclavis in concert with his
band, which includes Dominique Pifarely on
violin, Christophe Lavergne on drums and
Sarah Murcia on piano. Louis’ latest album
Asian Fields Variations came out in 2017, and
this concert from Berlin’s Jazzdor Festival
includes material from that record
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
9.00 Start the Week
An exploration of the inner self
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
The Line Becomes a River
By Francisco Cantu. Abridged by Richard
Hamilton. An introduction to Cantu’s memoir,
which covers his time working for the
US-Mexican Border Patrol (1/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews with Jane Garvey.
Including at 10.45 the 15 Minute Drama:
Part six of Sarah Daniels’ dramatisation of
The Good Terrorist, by Doris Lessing
11.00 Civilisation: A Sceptic’s Guide
The dangers of dividing people via
distinctions made between how civilised they
appear to be. See Radio Choice
11.30 To Hull and Back
Sophie unwittingly inspires a protest (2/4)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 The Curious
Cases of Rutherford & Fry
Hannah Fry and Adam Rutherford investigate
sex and sexes (1/5)
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 British Socialism: The Grand Tour
Explaining how Beatrice and Sidney Webb
influenced the development of the
modern welfare state (6/10)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Twenty Four Hours
from Tulse Hill
By Guy Meredith and Zalie Burrow. A writer
and an artist making ends meet as estate
agents experience a spark of attraction while
working together to make a lucrative sale.
Romantic comedy starring John Heffernan,
Catrin Stewart and Nicholas Le Prevost
3.00 Brain of Britain
The 2018 season of the general knowledge
quiz begins. Russell Davies hosts (1/17)
3.30 The Food Programme
Runners who believe eating fewer carbs
boosts their performance (r)
4.00 Portrait of the Artist
Twenty-nine-year-old artist Amy Gear
talks about her creative life (2/3)
4.30 The Digital Human
How social media has contributed to the
apparent revival of social tribes (2/6)
Strike manages to be modern yet oldfashioned, discomfiting yet cosy, absurd
yet plausible. If you ask me we’ve
found our next great TV detective.
Top Gear has suffered so many
setbacks, what with you-know-who
going to Amazon Prime and the
bespectacled one quitting after about
five minutes, that I feel myself rooting
for the underdog. But I wasn’t hopeful.
In the previous series the bants
between the three presenters felt
forced at times, like people on an
awkward Tinder date laughing too
shrilly at each other’s jokes. When
last night’s episode opened to
Matt LeBlanc in a mahogany
jacket and seeming to channel
Joey Tribbiani, his character from
Friends, my buttocks clenched.
But it was fine. Better than fine.
Although the script was occasionally
contrived, there was a natural ease
between LeBlanc, Chris Harris and
Rory Reid. Maybe they’ve been on a
bonding weekend in Yorkshire with
mandatory paintballing. LeBlanc has
good comic timing and a nicely
understated delivery, while the other
two seem relaxed in his company.
The bit with Rob Brydon was quite
funny. When someone mentioned
Silvio Berlusconi, LeBlanc replied:
“Who’s she?” It was a moment of pure
Tribbiani, but that’s OK. At least it
feels like a show at ease with itself.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Just a Minute
With Paul Merton and Julian Clary (2/6)
7.00 The Archers
Tony offers the benefit of his experience
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 Riot Girls: The Good Terrorist
By Doris Lessing (6/10) (r)
8.00 Superfast Politics
Rhys Jones on where the era of superfast
politics has come from (r)
8.30 Analysis
James Tilley of Oxford University
investigates the means by which dictators
maintain their grip on power (5/9)
9.00 The Global Farm
Charlotte Smith looks at how money flows
around the food chain (2/3) (r)
9.30 Start the Week (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: A Portrait of
the Artist as a Young Man
By James Joyce. Abridged by Sara Davies
and read by Andrew Scott (6/10)
11.00 Word of Mouth
With Paul Anthony Jones of popular
etymology blog Haggard Hawks (6/6) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
The Line Becomes a River (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Hancock’s Half Hour 8.30 Dad’s
Army 9.00 Quote: Unquote 9.30 Pankhiraj
10.00 Home Front Omnibus 11.00 The
Interview 11.15 Hush! Hush! Whisper Who
Dares! 12.00 Hancock’s Half Hour 12.30pm
Dad’s Army 1.00 Falco: The Iron Hand of
Mars 1.30 Happy Days: The Children of the
Stones 2.00 Biggles Flies North 2.15
A History of the Future 2.30 Tales of the
City: The Days of Anna Madrigal 2.45
A Confession 3.00 Home Front Omnibus
4.00 Quote: Unquote 4.30 Pankhiraj 5.00
Winston in Love 5.30 Just a Minute 6.00
Orbiter X 6.30 A Good Read 7.00 Hancock’s
Half Hour. Comedy with Tony Hancock and
Sid James. From 1955 7.30 Dad’s Army. The
platoon prepares to take part in a secret
worldwide radio broadcast 8.00 Falco: The
Iron Hand of Mars. Historical mystery by
Lindsey Davis. First aired in 2007
8.30 Happy Days: The Children of the
Stones. Stewart Lee explores the legacy of
the children’s television drama 9.00 The
Interview. Short stories 9.15 Hush! Hush!
Whisper Who Dares! By Christopher William
Hill 10.00 Comedy Club: Just a Minute. The
comedy panel show returns for its 80th
series 10.30 A Short Gentleman. Stars Hugh
Bonneville and Nichola McAuliffe 11.00 The
News Quiz Extra. Extended edition 11.45
Creme de la Crime. Comedy with Steve Punt
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show 1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport: The
Monday Night Club 9.00 Rugby Union
Weekly 9.30 5 Live Sport: The Euro Leagues
Podcast 10.00 Flintoff, Savage and the Ping
Pong Guy 10.30 Sam Walker 1.00am Up All
Night 5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Max Rushden and Ray Parlour 10.00
Jim White 1.00pm Hawksbee and Delaney
4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren Gough
7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar 1.00am
Extra Time with Will Gavin
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Nemone 10.00 Lauren Laverne
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00 Steve Lamacq
7.00 Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00
6 Music Recommends with Lauren Laverne
1.00am The First Time with Roger Waters
2.00 Classic Singles 2.30 6 Music Live Hour
3.30 6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert. Jane Jones
showcases musicians whose careers are on
the rise. Karl Jenkins (Palladio); Beethoven
(Piano Concerto No.5 in E-flat major Opus 73
— “Emperor”); Karl Jenkins (Appassionata
— “In the old style”); Mozart (Violin
Concerto No.5 in A major K.219);
Dowland (Fantasia in G major); and Ivor
Novello (We’ll Gather Lilacs) 10.00
Smooth Classics. With Margherita Taylor
1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Monday February 26 2018
1G T
11
RM
artsfirst night
NATIONAL GALLERY OF ART, WASHINGTON, DC
Concert
LSO/Bringuier
Barbican
T
{{{{{
he sweetness was sweeter for
being delayed; the rhythmic
invention, the intellectual
intensity and the intimacy
too. As with Tchaikovsky’s
Violin Concerto, we have certain
expectations of Brahms’s Violin
Concerto. What do we expect from
these works, both written in 1878? A
handsome, homogenous orchestral
sound, a heroic cantabile tone from
the soloist, broad tempos and perhaps
a sense of reverence or ritual.
Just as Patricia Kopatchinskaja and
Pekka Kuusisto have remade the
Tchaikovsky concerto in their own
fashion, so Alina Ibragimova made the
Brahms her own in this performance
with Lionel Bringuier and the London
Symphony Orchestra.
Ibragimova’s sound is smallish and
sour-sweet, a balsamic reduction, but
the physicality of her playing is
arresting. From the cloudy roll of the
timpani and the leaf-green beauty of
flute and oboe in the first movement,
to the lied-like simplicity of the
second, and the sharp syncopations of
the third, there was no reverence, no
ritual, but a series of startling
engagements between gut, wood,
metal, sinew and skin, which Bringuier
and the orchestra met with equal
imagination.
If there was a link between the
concerto, Dutilleux’s Métaboles and
Ravel’s Daphnis and Chloé Suite No 2,
it was in the transparency of the sound
achieved under Bringuier, whose
debut this was with the LSO. The
ecstasies described by Brahms,
Dutilleux and Ravel are distinct, and
were beautifully individuated by the
French conductor.
In the Dutilleux, the votive purity
of Tim Gill’s cello solo was key. In
the Ravel, every detail of the Dance
générale sprang from the energy and
precision of the harps. Bringuier’s
technique and taste are impeccable.
What a remarkable debut.
Anna Picard
Pop
Nils Frahm
Barbican
A
{{{{(
s a pianist and composer
who explores the disputed
territory between
electronic and classical
music, Nils Frahm is
vulnerable to attacks from both sides.
He’s a glorified DJ who dabbles in
keyboards, sniff the classical purists.
Well, the German may lack the
chordal sophistication of a top
virtuoso but he has skill, verve and the
confidence to move from delicate,
unadorned interludes to multi-tracked
polyrhythmic epics.
OK, say the electronic bods, but he’s
basically just a boffin; where’s the
showmanship? Nonsense: this
35-year-old from Hamburg is a star.
During the contemplative sections he
was intense and contained; for the
layered, percussive numbers he
scuttled between his instruments like
a chef in a kitchen. In between, he had
us guffawing with self-deprecating
Two Women at a Window, one of Murillo’s signature genre scenes
The meaning
of humanity
This show of works by the 17th-century
Spanish painter is also a poignant study
of ageing, says Rachel Campbell-Johnston
Visual art
Murillo: The
Self Portraits
National Gallery
{{{{(
H
e is known for his
picturesque street urchins,
for his coyly veiled flower
girls in provocative poses,
for graceful biblical scenes
adorning Spanish baroque churches.
Yet Bartolomé Esteban Murillo was
also a painter of portraits and,
although this side of his practice has
been much overlooked, this year,
commentaries on his eccentric
methodology.
The stage was like a mad scientist’s
laboratory, with grand and upright
pianos, a Fender Rhodes, synthesizer,
harmonium and a crackpot device that
blew air through church-organ pipes
backstage and relayed the sound to
speakers in the auditorium. Most of
those were employed during a bravura
opening sequence that also featured
looped string samples, skittering beats
and moody jazz flourishes. Such
maximalism only enhanced the subtly
rippling solo piano of My Friend the
Forest that came next.
Frahm introduced Our Own Roof
with typical charm as “a few chords,
absolutely nothing spectacular”. The
first bit was right — there was little
complexity about its stabbing piano and
celestial synths — but the effect was
one of starlit ambient splendour. He
ended with the aptly named More, a
swelling, hyper-melodic barnstormer
on which he played one keyboard with
his left hand and another with his right,
like Bruno in Fame without the perm.
Stuff the purists: this was glorious.
Ed Potton
Touring to Friday
Concert
Sandra Bernhard
Ronnie Scott’s, W1
{{{{(
to celebrate his 400th anniversary
(he was born in 1617 and died in 1682)
the National Gallery stages a small
but significant exhibition of these.
Six of some 16 known portraits —
one only recently discovered in a
historic collection in Wales — go on
display. They are complemented by
a couple of signature genre scenes —
the most charming is a painting of
two Sevillian beauties peeping out
flirtatiously through illusionistic
shutters at what (you would guess
from their expressions) are young
men below. There is also a scattering
of relevant prints.
At the heart of this National
Gallery show, however, hangs a
poignant study of ageing. Murillo
painted two self-portraits, about
20 years apart. Now, for the first time
in some 300 years, they are reunited.
The first, dated to about 1650-1655,
captures a man in the prime of his
life. He cuts quite a dash as, with
a haughty arch of the brow, he
looks down on the viewer. Forget
the paint-spattered craftsman.
Murillo, by then an artist of status
with important commissions,
presents himself for posterity, a fact
that he emphasises by including a
trompe l’oeil frame of chipped stone,
as a gentleman.
The second was painted in about
1670. Murillo is visibly older. His
dark hair is receding. His jawline
has slackened. A lace collar may do
a little to disguise it, but it cannot hide
the sadness that is etched into the face
of a father who, by then, has lost five
of his nine children. Now, on the ledge
of the trompe l’oeil stone cartouche
with which he once again encircles
himself, he sets the tools of his
artistic trade.
This later self-portrait reads like
a message from an older man to
his younger self. Instead of holding
himself aloof, he rests a hand on
the frame, as if he means to move
closer, to enter our space. An image
of grandeur no longer feels so
important. This is the portrait of
a painter who has learnt what
humanity means.
Murillo: The Self Portraits is at the
National Gallery (020 7747 2885)
from Wed to May 21
W
ho would have
thought she would
end up here? Sandra
Bernhard is a rock
chick rather than a
standards singer, but this show, full of
impromptu asides, hot riffs and, yes,
the occasional awkward pause, was as
exhilarating as the very best jazz gigs.
There’s never been any question
about the American entertainer’s
all-round talent: remember how she
managed to steal scenes from Robert
De Niro in that under-rated Scorsese
satire The King of Comedy? On stage
though, Bernhard can be her own worst
enemy: without the right material that
caustic outsider wit can sound like the
whining of a B-list celebrity who thinks
she deserves a stretch limo and a larger
swimming pool.
A hint of petulance is ever-present,
yet this time Bernhard (dressed in Led
Zeppelin T-shirt and figure-hugging
skirt) kept it under stricter control.
Perhaps because we were in an
ultra-intimate setting, we saw the
more vulnerable side of her too. On
this opening night, backed by a hip
piano-guitar-and drums trio, she was
clearly feeling her way, nervously
Theatre
The Shape of the Pain
Battersea Arts Centre, SW11
W
{{(((
e like to say “I feel
your pain” but, of
course, we never can.
Yet there’s pain, such
as stubbing your
toe, and then there’s another type
that is the subject of this 75-minute
monologue.
“You live with a dial that has been
jammed,” says the woman before us.
“No one else has the wiring to tune it
back.” She’s describing what it is like
to live with Complex Regional Pain
Syndrome, a rare condition that
means that some pathways in the body
have gone wrong, so that if you hit
your thumb, your knee will be on fire.
The director Rachel Bagshaw has
lived with this sort of pain since she
was 19. She developed this piece of
theatre with the writer Chris Thorpe,
but it isn’t clear if this is entirely hers
because the subject is intertwined with
a love story about a one-night stand
that turned into a long relationship.
Hannah McPake is utterly believable
as this woman who, irritatingly, does
not have a name. She is standing on
a stage bare except for metallic back
panels that at times reflect the colours
and sound of her pain (design by
Madeleine Girling).
The story boings around like a
jumping bean between the medical,
the personal and the relationship.
Actually, it’s the love story that
lightens what resembles, at times, a
medical TED talk (at one point she
batters us with the endless advice she
has received). But she is insightful
about the difficulties they face: “I
realised that I wanted telepathy
from him.”
Towards the end it degenerates,
not unlike the way a night out at the
pub can, into endless soul searching.
This monologue needs to be shorter,
sparser and more defined. I left feeling
that she might want telepathy from
us too.
Ann Treneman
Box office: 020 7223 2223, to March 10
adjusting her repartee to appeal to
British tastes.
Would we really be excited to hear
that she is appearing in the return run
of Roseanne? Bernhard didn’t seem too
sure, and there were other moments
when, glancing at the cues on her music
stand, she decided to ditch a routine
before it had barely started. We know
all about the NRA, of course, so the
segment on gun mania went down well,
but she was probably right to abandon
the story about the AARP (American
Association of Retired Persons).
It didn’t matter in the end. Sheer
force of personality carried her
through, helped by her thoroughly
unpredictable choice of songs, from
Patti Smith’s People Have the Power to
the born-again theatrics of Neil
Diamond’s Brother Love’s Travelling
Salvation Show. Her long-time pianist
Mitch Kaplan added occasional vocal
harmonies, while the guitarist Tommy
Hill and drummer Pedro Segundo (a
regular face at Ronnie’s) were laidback but funky. Bernhard’s voice was
sometimes overpowering in a club as
small as this. Then again, everything
about her is larger than life.
Clive Davis
12
1G T
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Chris Bennion
MasterChef
BBC One, 9pm
Now that it
is 14 series
in (or, if you
include the
original run, 25 series
in), it was inevitable
that MasterChef would
start getting a bit meta.
Jess, a 35-year-old
Early
Top
pick
dental nurse from York,
is excited to be on the
show. What is she most
excited about? Meeting
Gregg Wallace?
Cooking for past
champions? “You know
the woman with the
really sexy voice who
does the voiceover?
I’m really excited about
her saying, ‘Jess has
cooked . . .’ ” The woman
with the sexy voice, the
voiceover artist India
Fisher, keeps shtum at
this remark. Aside from
that bit of fourth-wall
breaking, the recipe is
unchanged. Wallace
and his co-host, John
Torode, look ready for
many a plate of nosh.
Seven new chefs
compete for three spots
tonight and they will be
joined in Friday night’s
quarter-final with the
survivors of Thursday
night’s heat. Joining
Jess is the usual intake.
There’s an ever so
nice clean-cut chap
who plays the organ
at Norwich Cathedral,
a young woman from
Scunthorpe who sells
flooring and a bloke
from Bermondsey
who looks like a hairy
version of Wallace (in
fact, he looks like a
Gregg Wallace-themed
Wooly Willy). There’s
even a cheeky Welsh
mum for Wallace to
flirt with. “I’d like to
give Gregg a cwtch,”
she says, using the
Welsh word for hug,
“but I’m not sure that’s
allowed.” Also, manna
from Heaven for the
programme-makers,
she’s making meatballs.
“There was an issue
with the size of my
balls,” she chuckles.
Cooking doesn’t get any
cheekier than this.
Classic Mary
Berry
BBC One, 8.30pm
“I’ve been cooking for
quite a few years now,”
says Mary Berry,
modestly, as she begins
her latest programme.
The idea behind this
series is to highlight
the recipes that haven’t
gone out of fashion
during her long career
(so you can cross aspic
off your shopping list).
Tonight it’s comfort
food and Berry reveals
her rebellious side
by combining eggs
Benedict and eggs
Florentine. “Why
have one when you can
have both together?”
she says. She also
experiences the thrill
of Swedish open-flame
cooking with the
Michelin-starred chef
Niklas Ekstedt.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Murder, Mystery and My Family.
New series. Jeremy Dein and Sasha Wass examine
historical murder cases (AD) 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer. Properties in Stoke, southeast London and
Co Durham (r) 11.00 Wanted Down Under Revisited.
Catching up with a family who had a trial week in Gold
Coast, Queensland 11.45 Caught Red Handed. A violent
robber returns to the scene of his crime 12.15pm
Bargain Hunt. From the Royal Welsh Showground in
Builth Wells, Powys (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One;
Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45
Doctors. Ben is star-struck when a professional footballer
asks for his help (AD) 2.15 Shakespeare & Hathaway:
Private Investigators. New series. Comedy drama starring
Mark Benton and Jo Joyner (AD) 3.00 Escape to the
Country. Nicki Chapman helps a couple find a house in
rural Kent (AD) 3.45 Get Away for Winter. A Glasgow
couple who want to rent a property in southern Spain
(AD) 4.30 Antiques Road Trip. Paul Laidlaw and Natasha
Raskin start their trip on the west coast of Scotland (r)
5.15 Pointless. Quiz show (r) 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Coast (r) (AD) 6.30 Get Away for Winter (r)
(AD) 7.15 Escape to the Country (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign Zone:
Hugh’s Wild West (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 The Week in Parliament
12.00 Daily Politics. Parliamentary report with Jo Coburn
1.00pm Women’s Six Nations Highlights. Action from the
third round of fixtures (r) 1.30 Perfection. General
knowledge quiz hosted by Nick Knowles (r) 2.15 Yes Chef.
Culinary challenge hosted by Sheree Murphy (r) 3.00
A Place to Call Home. Inverness is shocked by the death
of a teacher whose fiancé is serving overseas (r) 3.55
More Creatures Great and Small. Vet Adam makes a
surprise discovery (r) 4.25 Caribbean with Simon Reeve.
The adventurer travels around the islands and mainland
coast of the Caribbean Sea, beginning by visiting the
Dominican Republic, Haiti and Puerto Rico (r) (AD) 5.25
Flog It! Adam Partridge and Christina Trevanion value
objects at Hereford Cathedral, while the presenter Paul
Martin tries to make a traditional wooden stool (r)
6.00 Eggheads. Quiz show presented by Jeremy Vine (r)
6.30 Great British Railway Journeys. Michael Portillo
travels from Blackpool to Manchester (r) (AD)
6.00am Good Morning Britain. A lively mix of news and
current affairs, plus health, entertainment and lifestyle
features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current affairs
and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories, cooking and
gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat show
10.30 This Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly
Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines
and a recipe in the kitchen. Including Local Weather
12.30pm Loose Women. Interviews with famous faces
and topical studio discussion from a female perspective
1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 James Martin’s American
Adventure. The chef heads to New Orleans and after
delving into a roadside seafood market, he cooks in Louis
Armstrong Park and meets the singer Robin Barnes.
Lunch is courtesy of local favourite the Palace Café, where
redfish is on the menu (AD) 3.00 Tenable. Five members
of a pub quiz team answer questions about top 10 lists,
then try to score a perfect 10 in the final round (r) 4.00
Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the quiz show 5.00
The Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) (AD) 8.30
Frasier (r) (AD) 10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares
USA. The chef tries to help a struggling seafood
restaurant in Manhattan, where the three owners are
regularly in conflict (r) 11.00 Undercover Boss USA. The
Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf president goes undercover in his
own firm (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me. Four contestants compete in
Coventry (r) 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers. London Road boss
Dan looks at a diamond-encrusted watch, while Larry and
Neil try to seal deals on a speedboat (r) 2.10 Countdown.
With Alastair Stewart in Dictionary Corner 3.00 A Place
in the Sun: Summer Sun. A couple who want to buy a
holiday home in Orihuela on the Costa Blanca in Spain (r)
4.00 A New Life in the Sun. A couple from the Wirral take
over a B&B in Spain 5.00 Four in a Bed. The competition
kicks off at Blackburn Villa in Ayr 5.30 Extreme Cake
Makers. Phil and Christine create a seven-foot-long
Wallace and Gromit cake (r) 6.00 The Simpsons.
Featuring the guest voice of Lady Gaga (r) (AD) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Luke suggests moving in with Mandy (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.15 Can’t
Pay? We’ll Take It Away. The agents chase £4,500 owed to
a shipping company by a car parts dealer in Lancashire,
and in east London, the officers try to collect over £2,000
owed to a housing association (r) 12.10pm 5 News
Lunchtime 12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors. Dr Farida
Ahmad is confronted by a man suffering with tonsillitis
who has been vomiting. Urgent care clinician Lizzie treats
a 12-year-old with a mysterious nodule on her cheek (r)
(AD) 1.10 Access 1.15 Home and Away (AD) 1.45
Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS: Conspiracy to Murder. Gibbs
receives a call from his old friend Senator Patrick Kiley,
who claims he is being framed for the murder of a naval
commander — but the evidence quickly piles up against
him (r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: Killer Obsession (15, TVM,
2016) A soldier returns from Iraq, only to become the
target of an obsessed fellow soldier who blames her for a
friendly fire incident. Thriller starring Roxanne McGee
5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Paige tries to
reconcile Piper and Terese (r) (AD) 6.00 Home and Away.
Kat meets up with Ash, but her quest for the truth makes
Robbo and Tori uneasy (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
Get a
Armistead Maupin – How I wrote Tales of the City
“I should like to spend my
whole life reading it...”
Northanger Abbey
Paula Byrne Celebrated houses of fiction
Edward Allen Marianne Moore, and more
Nabeelah Jaffer Islam and Britishness
Libby Purves Tinder of the 1940s
SEPTEMBER 15 2017 No. 5972
972
n
www.the-tls.co.uk
the-tls.co.
THE TIMES LITERARY
ARY SUPPLEM
SU
ENT
Patrick J. Murray Montaigne’s social network
Jamie Fisher Angry like Mailer
Charlotte Shane Provocations of feminism
Samuel Earle Never getting bored of Barthes
SEPTEMBER 29 2017 No. 5974
n
www.the-tls.co.uk
THE TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
Laura Freeman Dress like a writer
Colin Grant Lost voices of immigration
Anne McElvoy The passion of Merkel
Krishan Kumar On statues and Nazis
UK £3.50 USA $8.99
SEPTEMBER 22 2017 No. 5973
UK £3
n
www.the-tls.co.uk
THE TIMES LITERARY SUPPLEMENT
Tales of addiction
Inspirations of Dante
Rowan Williams
Ian Thomson
Wandering, wondering
Eric J. Iannelli
Terri Apter
UK £3.50 USA $8.99
£20
Waterstones
Gift Card when
you subscribe
to the TLS
Annette Kobak on women and the Grand Tour
Jan Marsh on Ruskin in Europe
7PM
Waterstones Gift Cards may be redeemed in any Waterstones store in the UK towards the purchase of all eligible Waterstones products available. Gift Cards cannot be redeemed for cash. Waterstones Gift Cards will be sent within 28 days of purchasing a TLS subscription.
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones present the usual mix of topical
stories and chat with a famous guest
7.00 Top Gear Matt LeBlanc, Chris Harris
and Rory Reid take a motorsports
road trip across America’s Wild West,
putting the latest V8 sports cars from
McLaren, Jaguar and Ford through their
paces. Back on the track, Rob Brydon is
the Star in a Reasonably Fast Car (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Chas and Paddy face
their future, while Jimmy is under
strain with his new job (AD)
8.00 EastEnders The Carters are at a loss
as to how to stop Aidan, while Mel is
confused when the club’s alarm
continues to cause havoc (AD)
8.30 Classic Mary Berry New series.
A range of recipes to tempt family and
friends, beginning with comfort food.
See Viewing Guide (1/6) (AD)
8.00 Only Connect The Belgophiles take
on the Beaks in the third round, with a
place in the quarter-finals of the quiz
at stake. Victoria Coren Mitchell hosts
8.30 University Challenge The quarterfinal matches continue as two teams
of four students compete to make it
to the next stage of the competition
8.00 The Martin Lewis Money Show
The financial journalist and Angellica
Bell look at council tax (10/10)
9.00 MasterChef New series. John Torode
and Gregg Wallace put more amateur
cooks to the test, with first seven
hopefuls beginning by preparing a dish
using ingredients from the MasterChef
market in an hour and 10 minutes.
See Viewing Guide (AD)
9.00 Collateral Kip and Nathan struggle to
figure out how the two murders are
connected, David takes his ex-wife
Karen to task about her addictions,
and Jane gets a visit from the bishop,
who warns that he cannot turn a blind
eye to her love life any more.
See Viewing Guide (3/4) (AD)
9.00 Marcella The detective decides to
return to the root cause of her
blackouts — Juliet’s cot death.
Meanwhile, another body is discovered
surrounded by the same stuffed toys
found with Leo. Crime drama starring
Anna Friel and Richard Cordery.
See Viewing Guide (2/8) (AD)
10PM
9PM
8PM
7.30 Inside Out Regional documentary
10.00 BBC News at Ten
Late
11PM
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.45 Have I Got Old News for You
Jo Brand hosts an edition of the quiz
from June 2017, with Alan Johnson
and Ross Noble (8/9) (r)
11.15 The Graham Norton Show
The host introduces a compilation of
highlights from the past series,
featuring guests Will Smith, Judi
Dench, Ryan Gosling, Helen Mirren,
Tom Cruise, Kate Winslet, Hillary
Clinton, Harrison Ford, Jane Fonda,
Idris Elba, Margot Robbie, Hugh
Jackman, Elton John, Emma Thompson
and Tom Hanks. Last in the series (r)
12.10am-6.00 BBC News
10.00 Two Doors Down Back from a quiz
night everyone is encouraged to reveal
their hidden talents, with Eric making
a £20 note disappear (5/6) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Evan Davis
11.15 Murdered for Love? Samia Shahid
On July 14, 2016, Bradford woman
Samia Shahid flew to Pakistan to visit
her family. Six days later, she was
found dead. This documentary tells the
story of Samia’s life, and the arrest of
her first husband and her father (r)
12.15am Odyssey News of Frank’s attack on Shakir
Khan hits Odelle and Aslam hard (r) (AD) 12.55
Odyssey Luc rescues Odelle and Aslam (r) (AD) 1.40
Sign Zone: Countryfile. Matt Baker and Anita Rani present
the show from Anglesey (r) (SL) 2.35-3.35 Charles I’s
Treasures Reunited. Documentary (r) (AD, SL)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Aviva Premiership Rugby
Highlights Mark Durden-Smith
and David Flatman present action
from the 16th round of matches,
including Exeter Chiefs v Northampton
Saints, Gloucester v Wasps,
Bath v Sale Sharks and London
Irish v Worcester Warriors
8.00 Britain’s University Spending
Scandal: Channel 4 Dispatches
An investigation into the spending
of Britain’s top universities
8.30 Food Unwrapped Matt Tebbutt
discovers that lard can actually be a
healthier choice than butter (3/6) (AD)
8.00 Extreme Winter Road Rescue New
series. Freezing conditions and a thick
blanket of fog causes chaos for drivers,
with the treacherous conditions
having forced a tanker to slide off
the road. Return of the documentary
following emergency services and
breakdown recovery teams (1/4)
9.00 24 Hours in Police Custody
Following Bedfordshire police’s
investigation after a man drives a car
into a group of revellers outside
a kebab shop in Dunstable town
centre before fleeing on foot
9.00 The Unstoppable Flying Scotsman
Rob Bell charts the history of the
world’s most famous steam locomotive
the Flying Scotsman, which during its
lifetime, has broken records, travelled
the world, starred in a movie and even
bankrupted its owners (1/2)
10.00 Electric Dreams: The Father Thing
Eleven-year-old Charlie must make the
most difficult decisions imaginable to
protect the human race when he is
among the first to realise that the
homes of everyone on Earth are being
infiltrated by an insidious alien threat.
See Viewing Guide (7/10)
10.00 The X-Files Mulder and Scully explore
a phenomenon known as the Mandela
Effect, in which large groups of people
remember an alternative history,
and the duo learn how the X-Files
themselves may have originated.
Gillian Anderson and David
Duchovny star (4/10) (AD)
11.05 Married at First Sight Police
sergeant Richard and finance director
Harriet are about to exchange their
wedding vows, while Benjamin and
Stephanie are on honeymoon in
Majorca and starting to get a
little closer (2/4) (r) (AD)
11.00 Elysium (15, 2013) A man dying of
radiation poisoning on a ruined Earth
fights security forces to gain access to
a space station inhabited by a wealthy
elite. Sci-fi thriller starring Matt
Damon and Jodie Foster (AD)
12.10am The £1 Houses: Britain’s Cheapest Street
The renovation scheme hits a crisis (r) (AD) 1.05
The Job Interview (r) 2.00 Supershoppers Savers Special.
Money-saving tips (r) 2.55 The Question Jury (r) 3.45
Coast vs Country (r) 4.40 Location, Location, Location (r)
(SL) 5.35-6.00 Superfoods: The Real Story (r)
1.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Cowboy Builders. The team
visits a home in Binley Woods, Coventry (r) 4.00
My Mum’s Hotter Than Me! A woman and her two
daughters who try to outdo one another in the beauty
stakes (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine
Designs (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
7.30 Coronation Street Billy receives
a summons from Summer’s school,
while Maria questions Liam about
his odd behaviour (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Billy gives way
to Geraldine, Bethany unleashes her
temper, and Tyrone is annoyed to find
Gemma in charge of his children (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.35 Regional News
10.50 John Worboys: The Taxi Cab
Rapist with Susanna Reid
The story of the convicted rapist,
talking to some of his victims and
people who knew him, and questioning
the parole board decision that he
is fit to be released (r) (AD)
11.50 Serial Killer with Piers Morgan
The broadcaster meets Florida
murderer Mark Riebe (r)
12.40am Jackpot247 Viewers get the chance to
participate in live interactive gaming from the comfort
of their sofas 3.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Guests air
their differences (r) (SL) 3.55 ITV Nightscreen.
Text-based information service 5.05-6.00 The Jeremy
Kyle Show. Guests air their differences (r) (SL)
the times | Monday February 26 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
Collateral
BBC Two, 9pm
“Human transport is
the gift that keeps on
giving.” There is so
much info splurged out
in the first five minutes
of tonight’s instalment
of the state-of-thenation drama that I
can’t fit much of it in.
Suffice to say that the
whole messy situation
has people-trafficking
at its heart. David
Hare’s exposition
has raised smirks,
but he can still craft a
powerful line. Tonight,
the vicar Jane (Nicola
Walker) is warned
about her “lifestyle” by
the hypocrite bishop,
who is also gay: “You’ll
find it in Paul’s Letter
to the Ephesians. Or
somewhere. I don’t care
where.” Expedience
is king in this world.
Marcella
ITV, 9pm
Hans Rosenfeldt’s
souped-up police drama
continues to plough
its eccentric furrow.
The “recovering”
paedophile Phil (Peter
Sullivan) is in a spot of
bother when his DNA
is found at the flat of
Reg Reynolds (Nigel
Planer), an old rocker,
while our mystery
psychopath has found
another young victim.
What are the chances
that the children’s
charity will be
caught up in this grim
carnival of violence
against children?
Marcella (Anna Friel),
meanwhile, continues
to be the least
professional detective
in the history of
television policing. And
that’s saying something.
Electric Dreams
Channel 4, 10pm
Channel 4’s ambitious
science-fiction
anthology series (each
episode is a standalone
story based on a Philip
K Dick tale) failed to
impress with its first six
episodes last year. After
a short break we have
the final four stories
of the season, starting
with The Father Thing,
adapted by Michael
Dinner. It is an eerie
Close Encounters-style
story of a little boy
and his father (played
by Greg Kinnear) who
share a love of baseball,
until one day the
father begins to behave
rather differently.
Alien invasion acts
as a clunky metaphor
for divorcing parents.
It’s decent enough,
but lacks oomph.
Sport Choice
Sky Sports Arena, 10am
The Dubai Duty Free
Tennis Championship
begins today at the
Aviation Club Tennis
Centre in Dubai. Last
year’s champion, Andy
Murray, is absent with
injury, and with Roger
Federer yet to confirm
his participation, the
No 1 seed is the world
No 4, Grigor Dimitrov.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Monkey Life (r) (AD) 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue (r) 8.00 Send in the Dogs (r)
9.00 Road Wars (r) 10.00 Warehouse 13 (r)
11.00 Forever (r) (AD) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles
(r) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00 The
Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r)
6.00 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 David Attenborough’s Wild City.
Examining the wildlife of Singapore (r) (AD)
9.00 A League of Their Own. With Anthony
Joshua, Rob Beckett and Roisin Conaty (r) (AD)
10.00 FILM: Hannibal (18, 2001) Fugitive
serial killer Dr Hannibal Lecter is hunted by FBI
agent Clarice Starling and a vengeful victim from
his past. Thriller sequel with Anthony Hopkins
12.30am Brit Cops: Frontline Crime UK.
Documentary (r) 1.30 Most Shocking (r) 2.30
The Blacklist: Redemption (r) (AD) 3.30
Football’s Funniest Moments (r) 4.00 It’s
Me or the Dog (r) (AD) 5.00 Futurama (r)
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
7.00 Urban Secrets (r) 8.00 The Guest Wing (r)
(AD) 9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
(AD) 1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Making
David Attenborough’s Flying Monsters 3.00 The
West Wing (r) 5.00 House (r) (AD)
6.00 House. A pregnant woman’s condition
deteriorates after a stroke (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
A casino jackpot winner commits suicide (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Danny’s family is put
in danger by a drug lord (r) (AD)
9.00 Active Shooter: America Under Fire.
An examination of a white supremacist’s
attack on a Sikh temple in 2012
10.10 Last Week Tonight with John Oliver
10.45 Our Cartoon President (r)
11.20 Our Cartoon President (r)
11.55 Billions. A sudden disappearance sends
both Axe and Chuck spinning (9/12) (r) (AD)
1.05am Here and Now (r) 2.15 Dexter (r)
3.35 Girls (r) (AD) 4.10 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 The Real
A&E (r) 8.00 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD) 9.00
Criminal Minds (r) 10.00 Cold Case (r) 11.00
The Biggest Loser: Australia 12.30pm The Real
A&E (r) (AD) 1.00 The Chef’s Line 2.00 Nothing
to Declare (r) 4.00 Border Security: America’s
Front Line (r) 5.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation. A comedian drops dead (r)
6.00 Criminal Minds (r)
7.00 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD)
7.30 Children’s Hospital (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary. Holmes and Watson are
targeted by a criminal network (r) (AD)
9.00 Criminal Minds. The unit investigates the
attempted homicide of a police chief’s wife
10.00 Blindspot. The team races to thwart a
terrorist plot with the help of Reade’s girlfriend
11.00 Criminal Minds (r) 12.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 1.00am Cold Case (r)
2.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r) 3.00
The Real A&E (r) (AD) 4.00 Nothing to Declare
(r) 5.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia (r)
6.00am Beethoven, Brahms & Chopin 7.00
Rachmaninov: Rhapsody/The Two Pigeons 9.00
Tales of the Unexpected 9.30 Artists in Love
(AD) 10.30 Video Killed the Radio Star 11.00
Too Young to Die (AD) 12.00 Trailblazers:
Progressive Rock 1.00pm Discovering: Buster
Keaton (AD) 2.00 Tales of the Unexpected 2.30
Artists in Love (AD) 3.30 Video Killed the Radio
Star 4.00 The Sixties (AD) 5.00 Trailblazers:
Electronic Music 6.00 Discovering: Olivia de
Havilland (AD) 7.00 Auction. Swords from the
English Civil War 7.30 Spielberg and Williams:
The Adventure Continues 8.00 Hollywood in
Vienna: The Sound of Space & Alexandre
Desplat. A concert 10.00 Portrait Artist of the
Year 2018 11.00 The South Bank Show Originals
12.00 Inside the Actors Studio: Jeff Daniels
(AD) 1.00am Frank Sinatra: In Concert at the
Royal Festival Hall 2.00 Agatha Christie vs
Hercule Poirot 3.15 Love Bite: Laurie Lipton and
Her Disturbing Black & White Drawings 4.00
Dag 4.30 Tales of the Unexpected 5.00 Auction
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00
Live ATP Tennis: The Dubai Duty Free Tennis
Championships. Coverage of the opening day
of the tournament at Aviation Club Tennis
Centre in Dubai 1.30pm ATP Tour Classic
Matches 2.00 Sky Sports News 3.00 Live ATP
Tennis: The Dubai Duty Free Tennis
Championships. Further coverage from Aviation
Club Tennis Centre in Dubai
6.30 My Icon: Henni Goya
6.45 Live Netball Superleague: Loughborough
Lightning v Manchester Thunder (Centre-pass
6.45). Coverage of the match at the Sir David
Wallace Sports Hall in Loughborough
8.45 My Icon: Pam Cookey
9.00 Sky Sports Tonight
10.00 The Debate
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00 Live ATP Tennis: The Abierto Mexicano
Telcel. Coverage of day one of the ATP 500
tournament from the Acapulco Princess Mundo
Imperial 5.30am ATP Tour Classic Matches (AD)
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Getaways.
Tommy Bowe and Mairead Ronan go camping in
Catalonia 10.40 True North: Out of the
Shadows. Stories of gay liberation in Northern
Ireland 11.20 Have I Got Old News for You.
Hosted by Jo Brand (r) 11.50 The Graham
Norton Show. A compilation of highlights. Last
in the series (r) 12.40am-6.00 BBC News
Find a lifelong companion in the TLS, the world’s leading international literary journal.
Buy a subscription to the Times Literary Supplement as a present
(even for yourself) and get a £20 Waterstones Gift Card.
To subscribe visit tlssubs.imbmsubs.com/tlswater12 or call 01293 312178 and quote code TLSWATER12
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days. News and analysis
7.30 Handmade on the Silk Road. Focusing
on traditional crafts along the ancient trade
route of the Silk Road (1/3) (r) (AD)
8.00 India: Nature’s Wonderland. Exploring the
hidden wonders of the natural world in India,
including the Hoolock gibbon, which greets
the morning by singing (r) (AD)
9.00 The Art of Japanese Life. James Fox
explores how the art and culture produced
by cities past and present has shaped the
country’s attitudes and helped forge the
very idea of Japan itself (r) (AD, SL)
10.00 Mary Beard’s Ultimate Rome: Empire
Without Limit. Scholar Mary Beard takes an
in-depth look at identity and citizenship
within the Roman Empire (3/4) (r) (AD)
11.00 How the Celts Saved Britain.
Dan Snow follows in the footsteps of Ireland’s
earliest missionaries (2/2) (r) (AD)
12.00 Singer-Songwriters at the BBC.
A compilation of classic songs (r) 1.00am Top of
the Pops: 1982 (r) 1.35 Top of the Pops: 1982 (r)
2.10 The Art of Japanese Life (r) (AD, SL)
3.10-3.40 Handmade on the Silk Road (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Coach Trip:
Road to Tenerife (r) (AD) 7.30 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 8.00 Baby Daddy (r) 9.00
Melissa & Joey (r) 10.00 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r)
(AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 1.00pm The
Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 Melissa & Joey
(r) 3.00 Baby Daddy (r) 4.00 Brooklyn
Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Darren and Mandy make
excuses about where they spent the night (AD)
7.30 Coach Trip: Road to Tenerife. Brendan
takes the group sofa boating (AD)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 Young Sheldon (r) (AD)
9.00 Celebs Go Dating. Gemma faces a dilemma
as she weighs up the two men chasing her (AD)
10.00 Celebrity First Dates (r)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.00 Tattoo Fixers (r) (AD) 1.10am Celebs Go
Dating (r) (AD) 2.15 First Dates (r) (AD) 3.05
Celebrity First Dates (r) (AD) 4.00 Rules
of Engagement (r) 4.20 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 4.45 Rude(ish) Tube (r)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) 9.30 A Place in the
Sun: Winter Sun (r) 11.30 Four in a Bed (r)
2.10pm Come Dine with Me (r) 4.50 A Place in
the Sun: Winter Sun. Double bill (r)
6.55 The Supervet. Noel Fitzpatrick helps a
boxer dog that has injuries to its pelvis and
hind legs from a road accident (r) (AD)
8.00 Grand Designs. A couple decide to build
a family home on an old industrial site in the
Midlothian countryside, but will only be
allowed permission if their house blends
in with the landscape (5/8) (r) (AD)
9.00 Car SOS. Fuzz Townshend and Tim Shaw
work on a 1971 Fiat Dino coupe for an
ex-mechanic who had to put the restoration
of the vehicle on hold when he was diagnosed
with a rare type of cancer (AD)
10.00 World’s Most Expensive Cars.
Six racing cars are taken for a test drive
in the Arizona desert (4/8) (r) (AD)
11.00 24 Hours in A&E. A 35-year-old woman
fears a brain tumour has returned (r) (AD)
12.05am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares (r)
1.05 Car SOS (r) (AD) 2.05 24 Hours in A&E (r)
(AD) 3.10-3.50 8 Out of 10 Cats Uncut (r)
11.00am Oh! What a Lovely War (PG,
1969) Richard Attenborough’s First World War
musical starring Ralph Richardson 1.50pm The
Misfits (PG, 1961) John Huston’s Western
starring Clark Gable and Marilyn Monroe (b/w)
4.20 Ice Cold in Alex (PG, 1958) Second
World War drama starring John Mills (b/w) (AD)
6.55 Morning Glory (12, 2010) A television
producer tries to revive an early morning
television show’s fortunes, but has to contend
with presenters who hate each other. Comedy
starring Rachel McAdams and Harrison Ford
9.00 Alien Resurrection (18, 1997) A clone
of Ripley protects a smuggling crew from a new
breed of the extraterrestrial monsters. Sci-fi
thriller sequel starring Sigourney Weaver,
Winona Ryder and Ron Perlman
11.10 12 Years a Slave (15, 2013)
A black man in pre-Civil War New York is
abducted and spends years living in slavery.
Fact-based period drama starring Chiwetel
Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender (AD)
1.50am The Selfish Giant Interview Special (r)
1.55-3.45 The Selfish Giant (15, 2013)
Drama with Conner Chapman and Shaun Thomas
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals (r) 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.10
Dress to Impress (r) 7.55 Emmerdale (r) (AD)
8.20 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 9.25 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show (r) 10.15 Who’s Doing the
Dishes? (r) (AD) 11.10 Dress to Impress (r)
12.15pm Emmerdale (r) (AD) 12.50 Coronation
Street (r) (AD) 1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.50 Take Me
Out. Paddy McGuinness hosts (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men. Jake’s chemistry
tutor takes a shine to Walden (r)
9.00 Survival of the Fittest. The contenders
take part in the latest team challenge
10.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
10.30 Family Guy (r) (AD)
10.55 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 American Dad! (r) (AD)
11.55 American Dad! (r) (AD) 12.25am Plebs
(r) (AD) 12.55 Two and a Half Men (r) 1.50
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r)
2.20 Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.55
Heartbeat (r) (AD) 8.00 The Royal (r) (AD)
9.05 Judge Judy (r) 10.25 The Cruise (r) 11.25
Love Your Garden (r) 12.30pm The Royal (r)
(AD) 1.35 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 2.40 Classic
Coronation Street (r) 3.45 On the Buses (r)
4.50 You’re Only Young Twice (r) 5.25 George
and Mildred (r) 5.55 Heartbeat (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. A former jewel thief
and Jessica’s friend becomes a murder suspect.
Keith Michell guest stars (r) (AD)
8.00 Lewis. The lead actor in a student
Shakespeare production is murdered during the
performance — and Lewis and Hathaway are
struck by the lack of grief (2/4) (r) (AD)
10.00 DCI Banks. Part one of two. Two bodies
are found after a fire on a canal boat that was
destroyed in a fire (1/6) (r) (AD)
11.00 DCI Banks. Part two of two. The detective
realises he is now on the trail of a serial killer,
but a new discovery casts doubt on the alibis
of all his suspects (2/6) (r) (AD)
12.05am Scott & Bailey (r) (AD, SL)
1.55 ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am The Protectors (r) 6.30 The Chase (r)
7.30 Ironside (r) 8.35 Quincy ME (r) 9.35
Minder (r) (AD) 10.45 The Sweeney (r) 11.50
The Professionals (r) (AD) 12.50pm Ironside (r)
(AD) 1.55 Quincy ME (r) 2.55 Minder (r) (AD)
4.00 The Sweeney (r) 5.05 The Avengers (r)
6.10 Storage Wars. Jarrod has bad news (r)
6.40 Storage Wars. A career-changing bid (r)
7.05 Pawn Stars. A 19th-century cannon (r)
7.35 Pawn Stars. The guys examine a piece
of Abraham Lincoln’s tomb (r)
8.00 River Monsters. Jeremy Wade returns to
Africa’s Okavango Delta to reinvestigate the
tigerfish — a pack-hunting carnivore (r)
9.00 River Monsters. The fate of merchant
cruiser RMS Laconia, which was sunk in 1942 (r)
10.05 FILM: On Deadly Ground (15, 1994)
A tough firefighter clashes with the president of
an oil company who is planning to drill in Alaska.
Ecological thriller directed by and starring
Steven Seagal, with Michael Caine (AD)
12.10am Car Crash Global: Caught on Camera
(r) (AD) 1.10 Fifth Gear (r) 2.10 The Protectors
(r) 2.45 ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters UK 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm
Top Gear (AD) 3.00 The Hurting 4.00 Cops UK:
Bodycam Squad 5.00 Top Gear (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. Richard Hammond meets
a rally team made up of amputees (AD)
7.00 Road Cops. A boy racer turns off his
headlights to outwit police officers
7.30 Road Cops. A motorcyclist has to pay
$9,000 dollars to the police or face a jail term
8.00 Ross Noble: Off Road. It is the last three
days of the Scottish Six Days Trial, one of
the world’s toughest motorbike challenges
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Jo Brand hosts the
stand-up show from the Hammersmith Apollo,
with guest Michael McIntyre. Topics discussed
include Simon Cowell and football referees
10.00 Dara O Briain’s Go 8 Bit. Matt Forde and
Jessica Knappett play a series of video games
11.00 Taskmaster. A series of tasks
12.00 Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
1.00am QI 1.40 Would I Lie to You? 2.20 Mock
the Week 3.00 QI XL 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am Crusoe 8.00 London’s Burning 9.00
Casualty 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The Bill 12.00
New Tricks (AD) 1.00pm Last of the Summer
Wine 1.40 Bread 2.20 Birds of a Feather 3.00
London’s Burning 4.00 New Tricks (AD) 5.00
Bergerac. A computer engineer is threatened
6.00 Steptoe and Son. Albert’s long-running
tax fiddle finally comes to light
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Howard
has an unusual gift for Marina’s garden
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Howard finds
himself with some explaining to do
8.00 Ashes to Ashes. Gene learns crooked cops
are planning a bullion robbery (8/8)
9.00 Death in Paradise. A murder suspect is
shot dead in police custody (8/8)
10.00 New Tricks. Jack’s mind is not on the job
as Ricky Hanson faces trial for trying to murder
him. Guest starring David Troughton (1/8) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. The sisters fall on hard
times, so Sharon to get a job in an abattoir
12.00 The Bill. Investigating a prison riot
1.00am Life on Mars 2.00 London’s Burning
2.50 Crocodile Shoes 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.20 Pointless 8.10 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 David Starkey’s
Monarchy (AD) 11.00 Private Lives of the
Monarchs (AD) 12.00 Time Team 1.00pm
Hunters of the South Seas (AD) 2.00 South
Pacific (AD) 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 History’s
Greatest Hoaxes 5.00 Murder Maps
6.00 Nazi Hunters. The hunt for Klaus Barbie
7.00 Who Do You Think You Are? Julie Walters
traces her roots back to Co Mayo, Ireland
8.00 Forbidden History. Investigating whether
the Knights Templar hid their treasure on an
island in Mahone Bay, Nova Scotia (1/6)
9.00 Goodnight Sweetheart. Gary
tries to preserve musical history
9.40 Goodnight Sweetheart. Gary
considers giving up his double life
10.20 Goodnight Sweetheart. Gary races to save
Phoebe’s life. Nicholas Lyndhurst stars
11.00 Ripping Yarns. A dashing British
hero suffers a conflict of loyalties
11.40 Ripping Yarns. An obsessive football fan
12.20am Ripping Yarns 1.00 Battleplan
2.00 Time Team 3.00 Home Shopping
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Mind the
Gap: Are Scotland’s Trains Fit for the 21st
Century? Ian Hamilton investigates
Scotland’s urban and rural rail services
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 X-Ray.
Lucy Owen meets a Newport woman working
to help reunite owners with their stolen dogs
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 10.00pm-10.30 Daltaí an
Chaisleáin. The debating team competes in the
semi-finals of a national contest 11.15 Two
Doors Down. Everyone is encouraged to reveal
their hidden talents (AD) 11.45 Cleverman.
Nerida confronts Waruu, who refuses to give
her daughter back 12.35am-1.40 Murdered
for Love? Samia Shahid. Investigating the
2016 death of a Bradford woman (r)
BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 1.00pm Live Snooker: The
Welsh Open. Coverage of the afternoon session
on the opening day in Cardiff 4.30-5.25
A Place to Call Home. Inverness is shocked by
the death of a teacher (r) 7.00-8.00 Live
Snooker: The Welsh Open. Coverage of the
evening session 11.15 Snooker: The Welsh
Open. Ian Hunt presents highlights of day one
in Cardiff 12.05am-12.15 Coast (r)
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 6.00pm-6.30 ITV News Wales
at Six 10.50 Sharp End. Political discussion
11.20 Love Your Garden. The team transforms
a miniscule featureless plot in Durham (AD)
11.50-12.40am John Worboys: The Taxi Cab
Rapist with Susanna Reid (r) (AD)
STV
As ITV except: 10.35pm Scotland Tonight
11.10 John Worboys: The Taxi Cab Rapist with
Susanna Reid (r) (AD) 12.10am Teleshopping
1.10 After Midnight 2.40 Alphabetical (r)
3.30-5.05 ITV Nightscreen
UTV
As ITV except: 10.50pm View from Stormont
11.50 John Worboys: The Taxi Cab Rapist
with Susanna Reid (r) (AD) 12.40am
Teleshopping 2.40-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Pàdraig Post: SDS (Postman Pat: SDS)
(r) 5.15 Zack & Quack (r) 5.35 Su Shiusaidh
(Little Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.40 Charlie is Lola
(Charlie and Lola) (r) 5.49 Bruno (r) 5.50
Seonaidh (Shaun the Sheep) (r) 6.00 Alvinnn
agus na Chipmunks (r) 6.25 Sràid nan Sgread
(Scream Street) (r) 6.40 Fior Bhall-coise
(Extreme Football) (r) 7.05 Caistealan Alba (r)
7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 7.55 Binneas
— Na Trads (r) 8.00 An Là (News) 8.30
Cuimhneachan (Remembrance) (r) 9.00
Trusadh — Acrach airson Atharrachadh (Hungry
for Change) (r) 10.00 Port (r) 10.30 Opry an
Iúir (r) 11.30-12.00 Fonn Fonn Fonn (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
12.05pm Ar y Lein (r) (AD) 12.30 Ar Werth
(r) 1.00 Celwydd Noeth (r) 1.30 Ar y Dibyn (r)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn
Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Pengelli
(r) 3.30 Dilyn y Don (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00
Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Mwy o Stwnsh Sadwrn
5.25 Pengwiniaid Madagascar (r) 5.35 Sgorio
6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Gwaith/
Cartref (r) (AD) 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm.
Diane goes to extreme lengths to punish
Hannah and Chester (AD) 8.25 Ward Plant.
Featuring ward closures, emergency transfers
and a Welsh-speaking surgeon from Barbados
9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30 Ffermio.
Agricultural issues 10.00 Cynefin (r)
11.00-12.45am Clwb Rygbi Rhyngwladol
14
Monday February 26 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7585
1
2
3
Codeword No 3269
4
5
22
6
16
1
20
26
7
8
3
17
3
26
7
4
8
8
14
7
17
9
10
11
17
23
15
20
13
14
15
16
24
1
25
15
3
15
7
16
17
14
26
18
15
26
2
4
4
3
3
1
7
3
5
19
15
6
19
1
18
6
2
15
10
19
18
14
9
26
19
16
18
4
11
18
15
15
16
5
21
3
20
17
19
18
17
13
3
12
Train Tracks No 341
9
9
26
3
22
22
19
3
19
2
10
A
3
20
9
1
15
24
15
22
19
26
19
10
26
4
1
5
A
3
3
26
7
2
6
7
17
17
2
B
W
21
18
14
17
17
22
2
17
20
12
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
R
5
6
7
8
9
10
12
16
Church festival (9,3)
Small platform (6)
Kneel in submission (6)
Pavement edge (4)
Flatten by pressure (8)
Relating to a home (8)
Large conurbation (4)
Solution to Crossword 7584
CANNE S
TO
R O C S K
GONDO L A R
E S U CHA
I NV E S TOR
T N
E V E
S
I
D U
SCRE AM
P
R
B I GWH
WA S A B I
A O
Z
X B I Z AR
E
I
E E
I
DA SH
SHA
S S
Q
U
L E T
A
N L Y
S
E E L
C
RE
D
RE S
18 Lawsuit; thing done (6)
20 Large grey rain cloud (6)
21 Failure to do as one's
told (12)
7
5
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
14
15
3
4
5
6
7
16
17
18
19
20
8
9
10
11
12
13
21
22
23
24
25
26
W
Down
R
1
2
3
4
5
6
11
13
14
15
17
Write carelessly (8)
Enigmatic, ambiguous (6)
State of NE India (6)
Was aware of (4)
Simple boats (6)
Mentioned earlier (5)
Thameside town (8)
Plant with showy flowers (6)
Christmas decoration (6)
Truthful, frank (6)
Agreed break in
hostilities (5)
19 Press; element (4)
A
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Lexica
No 4151
T
L
A
Y
D
E
U
I
P
D
T
W
O
W
E
A
E
R
E
D
T
U
L
O
O
R
O
T
T
Y
R
E
R
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
84901 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
No 4152
O
U
O
C
H
O
E
A
S
M
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Easy No 4261
Futoshiki No 3116
∨
<
What are your favourite
puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
letters in the main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
Saturday’s solution, right
P
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Across
7
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Kakuro No 2075
13
∨
16
13
16
29
31
16
34
12
4
16
7
29
7
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
4
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
∧
7
37
6
4
7
19
21
24
∧
∧
17
18
6
<
24
11
3
11
14
29
21
4
14
14
4
22
4
3
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
30
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it. The
same number may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
24
7
23
30
8
4
12
© PUZZLER MEDIA
19
the times | Monday February 26 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
White: Magnus Carlsen
Black: Hikaru Nakamura
Fischer Random (Game 9),
Baerum 2018
This game started from the following position.
________
áq4khbgn4]
à0p0p0p0p]
ß D D d D]
ÞD D d D ]
Ý D D D D]
ÜD D D D ]
ÛP)P)P)P)]
Ú!RINGBHR]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
After 22 moves, this was the
position on the board.
From glancing at this position
it may seem surprising that, in
just 21 moves, the white king has
managed to get across to g1 from
its original starting square of c1. In
fact the white king “castled” to
reach this square. A form of castling is permitted in chess960,
regardless of where the king actually starts. This can result in huge
leaps by the king, as in this game,
where it moved from c1 to g1 in
one move, as part of “castling”.
It can be seen that White has
spent the early part of the game
developing his pieces effectively.
In particular, his queen is far
more active than its black counterpart. Black, on the other hand,
has attempted to create a clamp
on the position but Carlsen now
destroyed this clamp with a welltimed breakthrough.
23 e4 dxe4 24 Qxg5 Kb7
This is a blunder. Black had to
try 24 ... Rd8, to prevent White’s
next.
25 d5 exd5 26 Rxc6 Ref7 27 Rc5
Rd7 28 Qg6 Qd8 29 Qc6+ Ka7
30 Bxb5 axb5 31 Rxb5 Qc8 32 a6
Black resigns
After 32 ... Rd6 33 Rb7+ Ka8,
see the Winning Move for the
conclusion.
________
ákDqD 4 D] Winning Move
àDR0 D D ]
ßPDQ4 D D] White to play. This position is from
game, Carlsen-Nakamura, Baerum
ÞD DpDpD ] today’s
2018.
Ý ) DpD D] White has a discovered check available but
ÜD ) D D ] is hampered by the threat to his queen. Can
Û D D DP)] you spot the clever finish he had planned?
ÚDRD D I ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
EASY
MEDIUM
HARDER
27
DOUBLE
IT
+ 12
32
HALF OF
IT
x5
203 +593
1/3
OF IT
3/4
OF IT
+ 14 ÷ 3
DOUBLE
IT
–8
÷ 4 + 78 + 1/3 – 56
OF IT
÷4
x5
x 4 + 97
+ 3/4 – 412 + 2/3 TREBLE 4/5 HALF OF – 552 ÷ 5
OF IT
OF IT
IT
OF IT
IT
Killer Gentle No 5883
11
17
4min
6
4
21
♠ J 10 9 6 N
♠8 4 2
♥2
♥10 9 3
W E
♦Q J 5 3
♦A 10 9 7 6
S
♣A 10 9 6♠ A K
♣K 8
♥KQ J 8 7 6
♦4
♣J 7 5 4
S(Gross)
W
N
6
9
12
4
25
17
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
Enter each of
x
= 81 the numbers
x
-
1
-
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so that
the six sums
work. We’ve
= 13 placed two
numbers to get
you started.
Each sum
should be
= 6 calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
+
-
x
-
+
=
8
=
4
=
5
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Solutions
Futoshiki 3115
4 < 5
3
Train Tracks 340
1
1 < 2
3
4
3
4
5
4
3
7
8
2 < 3 < 4
∨
5
1
4
2
∨
∧
4 > 3
2
5
1
4
12
3
3
7
2
14
5
1
3
5
4
A
3
4
3
1
5
1
1
B
Suko 2170
4
7
14
21
8
24
5
8
6
22
Killer Tricky No 5884
10
30
13
11
14min
2
9
8
3
7
6
8
9
8
7
7
6
9 7 5
5 8 6
9
9 8
8
5
1
2 1
1 6 8 5
2 8 9 7 6
4 9 7
7
18
21
15
÷
+
19
Sudoku 9688
8
6 1
3
2
6
2 4
1 2
3 5
5
9
3
2
1
4
6
9
8
6
3
1 6
4 9
2 8
5
6
7
9
8
1
9
7
7
9
Set Square 2077
15
6
11
21
4
1
13
x
+
x
3
x
23
29
18
10
13
5
11
11
21
+
7
2 2
4
8
3
2
9
16
6
4
8
13
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
2
3
7
8
4
1
5
6
9
9
6
1
7
2
5
3
8
4
KenKen 4260
8
4
5
9
6
3
2
1
7
7
2
3
4
5
8
1
9
6
6
8
4
1
9
2
7
5
3
5
1
9
3
7
6
4
2
8
Lexica 4150
K
D
R
F
I
V
E
N
5
R
2
2
5
1
3
6
2
5
9
8
4
7
5
7
9
8
6
4
1
3
2
2
4
8
3
1
7
9
6
5
I
D
O
W
N
C
U
E
A
T
H
M
8
5
3
6
4
1
7
2
9
U
N
Killer 5882
10
2
5
B
B
L
D
x
8
2
3
9
8
2
1
4
6
7
5
4
+
x
1
7
6
5
3
9
8
4
2
9
-
+
7
2
4
5
2
6
8
7
9
3
1
Lexica 4149
Cell Blocks 3151
Contract: 4♥ , Opening Lead: ♦Q
declarer would have to rise with
dummy’s queen. If it were (iii),
declarer would have to duck to
East’s now bare king.
Reasoning that West would
have led a top club if he held aceking (and probably entered the
auction — perhaps via a take-out
double), declarer played for layout
(iii). She ducked the second club
(key play).
East won his bare king of clubs
and declarer could claim her game
with dummy’s queen promoted.
4
Chess 1 Rb8+! Kxb8 2 a7+ Kxa7
3 Ra1+ Kb8 4 Ra8 mate
E
1♥
Pass
1♠
Pass
2♣(1) Pass
3♥ (2) Pass
4♥
End
(1) Close choice between 2♣ and 2♥ .
Normally with a six-four shape it pays to
introduce your second suit, showing nine of
your cards (five hearts and four clubs),
whereas repeating your suit shows only six
of your cards (six hearts). With six such
robust cards in the major and four rather
paltry cards in the minor, there’s an argument the other way.
(2) Invitational with delayed (ie three-card)
heart support.
6
+
Tredoku 1514
17
13
12
♠Q 7 5 3
♥A 5 4
♦K 8 2
♣Q 3 2
2
2
2
5
23
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
Teams
8
x
Kakuro 2074
My friend Susanna Gross from
London, who has represented
England, played this hand from
the London Super League very
nicely. She ducked West’s queen of
diamonds lead and ruffed the jack
of diamonds continuation. She
cashed the king-queen of hearts,
West discarding a diamond, and
unblocked the ace-king of spades.
At trick seven, Gross crossed to
the ace of hearts and saw West discard another diamond. She then
followed with the queen of spades
and discarded a club from hand,
both opponents following to three
rounds of spades.
It was time for the main item on
the agenda. Clubs. Declarer could
make the necessary club trick on
one of the following layouts:
West
East
(i)
♣AK(xx) ♣x(xx)
(ii)
♣x(xx) ♣AK(xx)
(iii)
♣A/Kxxx ♣A/Kx
(iv)
♣A/Kx ♣A/Kxxx
Leading a club from dummy to
her jack would keep her in the
game unless the layout was (iv),
West with honour doubleton (in
which case she’d have to lead a low
club from hand towards the
queen). Declarer rightly considered (iv) unlikely — West held just
one heart, so rated to have more
than two clubs (West may have bid
with a 4♠ 1♥6♦2♣ shape).
Declarer duly led a low club to
the jack and West won the ace, following with his fourth (high)
spade. Declarer ruffed and led up a
second club, West playing low.
Layout (ii) had disappeared
when West beat the jack. Layouts
(i) and (iii) remained. If it were (i),
4
2
Saturday’s answers ague, argue,
argute, auger, augite, eruv, etui, fatigue,
figura, figurative, figure, frug, fruit,
fugitive, furtive, gaur, guar, guitar,
true, trug, tufa, turf, urate, urea, urge,
uvea, vague, vatu, vertu, virtu, virtue
22
Bridge Andrew Robson
4
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
Set Square No 2078
From these letters, make words of
three or more letters, always
including the central letter. Answers
must be in the Concise Oxford
Dictionary, excluding capitalised
words, plurals, conjugated verbs (past
tense etc), adverbs ending in LY,
comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 10 words, average;
14, good; 18, very good; 22, excellent
4
3
3
Polygon
13
2 6
3
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Three problems face modern chess
at elite level: massive depth of
opening theory, the advent of
software analysis and excessive
draws. Various solutions have been
proposed to combat these difficulties, such as faster time limits or
quick games to resolve any draws.
The most radical solution has
been the rise of Fischer Random
(also known as chess960), shuffle
chess or varied baseline chess.
A recent match in Norway,
billed as the unofficial Fischer
Random world championship,
resulted in victory for Magnus
Carlsen by 14-10 against Hikaru
Nakamura. This week I shall be
analysing play from this contest,
giving the starting position for
each game as well as the denouement.
________
áqDkD 4 D]
àD 0 4 D ]
ßpDnDpD $]
Þ)pDpDp0 ]
Ý ) ) D D]
ÜD ) ) D ]
Û D !BDP)]
ÚDRD D I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Things to come
Cell Blocks No 3152
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
G
L
B
A
B
J
O
B
B
L
E
L
S
A
N
E
T
Codeword 3268
9
6
7
5
2
3
4
8
1
4
1
2
7
9
8
3
5
6
6
8
4
1
7
2
5
9
3
7
9
5
4
3
6
2
1
8
3
2
1
9
8
5
6
7
4
1 $100 2 Billie Holiday 3 The Coca-Cola Company
4 Richard Phillips — portrayed in the film
Captain Phillips 5 Ewan McGregor 6 Federal
Republic of Germany or West Germany
7 Morgan Tsvangirai 8 Easter lily 9 Wealth or
material possessions 10 Salman Rushdie
11 The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the
Spiders from Mars 12 Katy Jurado. She was
Mexican 13 Canson 14 Detroit Red Wings —
in 2002 and 2008 15 Padma Lakshmi
M I S S P E
Y
U O
R E RU N
R
P
Y
H A L F
C
U
B
V E S T R Y
I
O
S T A LWA
I
G N
B L A Z I N
L
I
E
Y AN K
R
L T
A R I A
E
T
E
N
S OA P BOX
I
C
U
I
OCK A T OO
N
L
U
R E C E S S
B
D
X
R T WH I T
O C
A
Y
G
EQU I P
U
D
S
E
E J E C T E D
Word Watch
Portamento (c) A glide
from note to note in music
Palekh (a) In Russia, a
miniature painting on a
papier-mâché box
Portate (b) Sitting
diagonally across a
heraldic shield
Brain Trainer
Easy 20; Medium 369;
Harder 282
26.02.18
MindGames
Sudoku
Easy No 9689
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Difficult No 9690
6
8
9
9
2
3
7
7
Palekh
a A painting
b Faint
c To fuss
6
2
8
4
6 7
1 7
4
Portate
a Plump
b Diagonally
c A dignitary
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
Answers on page 15
5
6
4
5
Portamento
a A fruit
b A suitcase
c A glide
2
4
8
1
2
9
5 6
8
5
1 5 9
3
1
6
9
4
7
3
8
6
4
3
8 7 5
1
5
15
9 Pleonexia is
an extreme greed
for what?
6 In 1949, Theodor
Heuss assumed office
as the first president of
which country?
7 Which prime
minister of Zimbabwe
from 2009 to 2013
recently died aged 65?
10 Which Bombayborn novelist wrote
Grimus (1975), Shame
(1983) and Shalimar
the Clown (2005)?
8 Which symbol of
the resurrection
has the Latin name
Lilium longiflorum?
11 Rock ’n’ Roll Suicide
is the closing track
on which 1972 David
Bowie album?
13 Which French
manufacturer of
fine art paper was
founded in 1557 by
Jacques Montgolfier?
14 Known as “The
Magic Man”, Russian
ice hockey player
Pavel Datsyuk won
two Stanley Cups
with which team?
Friday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 1034
15 Which Indianborn Top Chef host
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1035
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
10
11
13
12
14
15
17
22
16
18
20
19
21
23
8
4
7
7
1
3
5 7 1
6
2
4 1
3
1
7
C
U
P
B
O
A
R
D
B
I
N
D
A S T
P
K
S
L
S Y CHOA
E
A
N
RU E
E SOP
T
E
S
I T CH E D
T
O
E
L
O
S
D E N T I C
R
E
R
E S T RO Y
A P
L
N A
Y
I
A N
G
F
L I
E
A L
D
A D
A
L Y
D
R
GE
A
EM
T
TW
E
WE
OC
U
S T
E
N T
E
UR
M
I
I N
A
L L
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
by Teazel
8
9
8
3
7
6
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
12 Who was the
first Latin American
actress nominated
for an Oscar, for her
supporting role in
Broken Lance (1954)?
5 Which Scottish actor
played the brothers Ray
and Emmit Stussy in the
third season of Fargo?
2
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
1 Benjamin Franklin
appears on which US
dollar bill?
4 Who was captain of
the Maersk Alabama
when it was hijacked
by Somali pirates on
April 8, 2009?
3
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
GETTY IMAGES
3 Introduced in 1963,
Tab was the first diet
soft drink produced
by which company?
4
1 4
7
5
8 4 5
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
2 Which American
jazz singer was
nicknamed “Lady
Day” by her friend
Lester Young?
7
8
6
PUZZLER MEDIA
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
Fiendish No 9691
Across
1 The main picture? (8)
5 One in a suit in the
Athenaeum, for example (4)
9 Concerned with a contest (5)
10 Reaching the highest area in
old capital (7)
11 Container not altogether
minute (3)
12 Rustic at first helping sick goat
(9)
13 Lure with some succulent ices
6)
(6)
15 Appear to embarrass (4,2)
17 Was interested to follow
cricket scores: be very
nervous (3,6)
19 Slippery customer starts to
explain: evident lies (3)
20 Top clue represented in lines
of verse (7)
21 Violence in an attempt to
capture king (5)
22 We hear aristocrat is a seaside
attraction (4)
23 Home in sacred surroundings?
Well, really! (8)
Down
1 Country mansion let out in
American port (7)
2 A crop that is produced by a
tree (5)
3 Shut those geese up and get to
the point (3,3,6)
4 One learning this is part of the
eye (5)
6 Struck by illness, desperately
do a will (4,3)
7 Light vehicle that is full of
listening devices? (5)
8 Hot crab, ready cooked, that
provides energy (12)
14 Haircut not raised, certainly
(7)
16 Ancient punishment, one
bitter to swallow, or finally
deadly (7)
17 Step right up to summarise (5)
18 Proportion found in peroration
(5)
19 Rowing team’s bulk initially
reduced (5)
DIGITAL RADIO • APP
VIRGINRADIO.CO.UK
Документ
Категория
Журналы и газеты
Просмотров
2
Размер файла
3 166 Кб
Теги
The Times, journal
1/--страниц
Пожаловаться на содержимое документа