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The Times Times 2 - 27 December 2017

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December 27 | 2017
On Wednesday
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The
December 27 | 2017
Why we?re all wearing it now
Coat, �9, gilet, �9, and polo neck, �9,
meandem.com; coat, �5, charlottesimone.com;
jumper, �, and trousers, �, hush-uk.com
2
1G T
Wednesday December 27 2017 | the times
times2
Say no to a walk!
My post-Christmas
survival guide
Ben Machell
S
o that?s that. Another Christmas dealt
with and here we are, emerging blinking
into the light, finally able to relax in the
knowledge that it?s all over. If Christmas
Day is like a wedding ? formal, boozy,
emotional, endless ? then this is the
honeymoon, only a honeymoon where
you spend quite a lot of time playing
Minecraft with your nephew while off your head
on sherry and gammon. I know. That good.
Yet while this time has the potential to be magical,
you can?t be complacent. The post-Christmas period
brings its own unique set of pitfalls, practical and
emotional. But what are they? And how can they
be avoided? Well, experience has taught me much.
Follow these simple guidelines and you?re laughing.
Here it is. My gift to you.
Clothing
It?s important to observe traditions, and perhaps
the oldest post-Christmas tradition, dating right the
way back to the time of the early church, is having
to wear new clothes, which you don?t really like, to
avoid upsetting the relatives who bought them for
you. Nobody looks cool right now, but that?s life. If
saving your gran?s feelings involves having to dress
like Andrew Ridgeley in the Last Christmas video
for a few hours, then you just have to suck it up.
Plus, don?t forget, you?re basically allowed to start
drinking whenever you want, which actually does
take the edge off a bit.
Children
From a purely anthropological point of view, it?s
fun to observe how the kids in your family are
behaving. By now they have generally formed their
own primitive society, worshipping Playmobil gods,
trading with and raiding one another, daubing
themselves in Terry?s Chocolate Orange and going
on strange spirit journeys, wandering around the
house in their pants and speaking in tongues or
simply chanting, ?Paw Patrol, Paw Patrol, Paw
Patrol? in a way that?s actually quite chilling.
So inevitably you?ve got to get them outside for
a bit somehow. The easiest way is just to go for the
full US cavalry approach and simply hound them
on to a reservation/the back garden. Although if
you?ve not got the stomach for this, then I can also
suggest stretching the definition of ?Oh wow, look,
kids, it?s snowing!? to include light rain, drizzle, a
faint breeze and brilliant sunshine.
Alcohol
Yes, so, as already discussed, one of the nice things
about the days after Christmas is that you can start
drinking whenever you want, like Belgians or
northern people at airports. So don?t waste time
clock-watching or going through the whole coy
?Oooh shall we, shan?t we?? charade with that
bottle of sparkling ros� that managed to evade
you on Boxing Day. Your booze immunity has,
most likely, never been higher than it is right
now. Why waste that gift?
Exercise
People who exercise during this period are scabs.
Don?t do it, if only out of solidarity with the rest of
us, who will spend most of today on our hands and
knees, snuffling for Miniature Heroes like hogs
looking for truffles. Nor is it the time to start asking
well-meaning questions about everyone?s new
year?s resolutions and their big plans for personal
development in 2018. I mean, look at me. I?m eating
a mid-morning brandy butter sandwich washed
down with a can of Strongbow. Just . . . save it. Please.
Entertainment
If, for whatever freaky reason, you?re one of those
families that can stand to play board games
together, then good for you. I will never understand
you, or trust you, but good for you. If, on the other
hand, you?re normal, then the telly will provide
the truest moments of congregation. And why
kid yourselves? Tonight you?re all going to watch
Celebrity Mastermind because Pam Ayres is on,
then whatever Harry Potter they?re showing on
ITV. You will. Don?t fight it.
Walks
Someone, at some point, is going to start agitating
for ?a nice wintry family walk?, a twee, wholesome
fantasy that has probably come from watching
too many Waitrose ads and/or being in faint
competition with those neighbours with expensive
wellies and a labrador.
The trick here is not to start an argument by
saying, ?That sounds terrible, I just want to sit here
eating and watching the Christmas tree slowly die?,
but rather to make sure that everyone takes so long
getting ready that you simply run out of daylight.
I?ve checked and, in London, the sun sets today at
15.57. Probably best write that down. And farther
north, you?ve even less daylight. Lucky buggers.
Elderly relatives
The main thing to remember is that old people
categorically do not care about the new items of
technology you received for Christmas. I?ve learnt
this the hard way.
In your mind, you?re playing the part of some
superior alien civilisation, visiting Earth and
revealing the secrets of advanced science to awed
cavepeople. In reality, you?re just irritating your
aunt by making her look like a dog on Instagram.
?Why on earth would I want to look like a dog??
she will ask, and you will realise this is a pretty
good question and slink off, despondent.
And it goes without saying that relatives of
pensionable age absolutely do not need to be
strapped into your new virtual reality headset.
I?m honestly not sure the NHS could cope.
Carol Midgley returns next week
GETTY IMAGES
The key to
being the
perfect TV
pair? No sex
Kirstie and Phil?s flirtatious banter
made them famous. Why have they
toned it down, asks Damian Whitworth
W
hile
discussing
with Kirstie
Allsopp the
hypothetical
question
of whether
Prince
Harry and Meghan Markle should
renovate their home at Kensington
Palace or sell it and move somewhere
else, I make the lighthearted
suggestion that it is possible to feel
sorry for the royal bride-to-be.
My point is that by moving into a
palace she is going to find her style
severely cramped when it comes to
home improvements. ?Poor Meghan,?
I start to say, before the renovation
queen cuts me off with regal disdain.
?Poor Meghan?? she says,
incredulously. Phil Spencer, the
makeover monarch?s Prince Philip,
tries to interject. ?It?s a valid point,?
he murmurs diplomatically. ?She can?t
change the furniture or put paintings
up on the wall.?
?Bollocks!? cries the queen. ?Bollocks!
a) I am sure they can change loads of
things, b) she?s got the whole of the
Royal Collection to go through and
find some fun stuff from, and c) she is
committing to living in the UK so he is
going to say, ?Yes, yes, yes, yes and yes,?
for the rest of their life. I don?t think
she will struggle to put her mark on
anything. I think she is a properly
independent, professional woman.?
Sadly, it sounds as if Harry and
Meghan won?t require the expertise of
Kirstie and Phil to help them to decide
whether to love their home or leave it.
?They don?t need Kirstie and Phil, no,?
she says, then pauses for half a second
(an eternity when Allsopp is on a roll).
?Only, I could find them their house in
the country. That I would be good at.?
For almost two decades the duo have
been showing couples potential new
homes on Location, Location, Location
and a variety of spin-off shows,
including Love It or List It, in which
Allsopp tries to convince couples to
do up their home and stay in it, while
Spencer hunts down properties within
their price range and tries to persuade
them to move. Over the next year
British homeowners will generally be
taking Allsopp?s approach. ?I think it is
going to be a time for more loving than
listing,? she says of 2018.
Allsopp, 46, has two sons with her
partner, Ben Andersen, a property
developer, and two stepsons. Spencer,
47, also has two sons with his wife,
Fiona. ?I worry about their generation
massively,? Allsopp says. ?I just don?t
know where they are going to live.?
Allsopp and Spencer are as well
attuned as anyone to the housing
crisis. They are adamant that the
green belt should remain untouched
and suggest that planning laws should
be changed to enable construction
of homes on top of single-storey
supermarkets and other buildings in
commercial and light industrial areas
of towns. ?Councils need more power
to build what they need where they
need it,? Spencer says.
As the average age of first-time
buyers gets older, one might expect
Allsopp and Spencer to fear for their
audience figures. It?s hard to imagine
millennials deprived of any realistic
ambition of owning their home sitting
down to watch Location or Love It.
?The weirdest thing is they do. It?s
absolutely fascinating,? Allsopp says.
Phil?s wife makes
his life easy ? he
doesn?t have to
make decisions
?I think it?s because people find it
comforting. As much as Phil and I
believe we are property people and we
make a show about property, we make
a show about human relationships.
People tune in to see our relationship
and see us negotiating our way
through someone else?s relationship,
not just the purchase of the house.?
Allsopp and Spencer did not know
each other when they were thrown
together for the first time for the
pilot of Location, Location, Location in
1999. For years their flirty on-screen
interactions fuelled speculation
that there was some off-screen
the times | Wednesday December 27 2017
3
1G T
NICKY JOHNSTON/CAMERA PRESS
romance. Now they have settled into
the easy banter of old friends.
Some of the original joshing would
not be acceptable today, Allsopp says.
She says she had been told that some
old shows were being re-edited to
ensure viewers of repeats weren?t
offended. The focus of the re-editing
was sequences ?where I have made
silly jokes?, Spencer says, smirking.
?Kirstie climbing a ladder and I look
up her skirt. Apparently it?s been
taken out of the show.?
Allsopp says: ?It?s really important
that anyone who has been in a
compromising situation in the
workplace where they feel unhappy
and bullied should be able to stick
their hand up. Phil making a silly
comment about looking up my skirt
is not that. There is a difference and
we all need to know the difference.
Funny as it would be seeing Phil
hauled up, it?d never happen. A man
more respectful of other women
I literally have never come across.?
She may have overreacted on this
occasion because Channel 4 later tells
me that none of the shows she has
done for the station has been re-edited
in such a way, so it is unclear where
the skirt-peeking took place and who
might have taken exception to it.
Nor are Channel 4 programmes
connected to a production company
that Allsopp says sent her an ?edict?
about inappropriate behaviour. ?It said
that use of affectionate terms such as
?darling? constitute sexual harassment.
I said, ?This is ridiculous.? It?s belittling
an incredibly important document
about disability language, sexist
language, racist language. That?s what
frustrates me about this whole debate.?
How have this pair managed to
sustain such an enduring screen
partnership? ?Probably because we
have never slept together, hahaha,?
Spencer says.
?We are very different personalities
and similar characters,? she says. ?We
are both one of four. Both close to
our families. Both committed to our
partners. Both have two sons. I have
two stepsons as well. We both take the
weekends off and immerse ourselves
in our original life.? She recalls that
Spencer once went to a James Bond
premiere ?and I go to the opening of
Winter Wonderland and that?s about
it. Don?t have any celeb life.?
They both present programmes solo,
but think their best work is when they
team up. ?We are better together than
apart,? Spencer says. They have had
very few rows. ?Any acrimony that we
have ever had is entirely lack of sleep
or being hungover,? Allsopp adds.
They know each other?s
idiosyncrasies. ?He has tons of habits
that drive me mad,? she says. ?He
won?t share his food and I like to take
bits from everyone?s plate. He likes
to arrive at the hotel early, have his
supper, re-iron his shirt ? he packs
an ironed shirt and then re-irons it.
Gets up and goes to the gym.?
Spencer turns to me and asks mildly:
?Why does that annoy her??
?I like to stay at home until the last
possible moment. But actually it?s not
Phil?s habits that drive me mad, it?s
the grotesque unfairness of our life.?
?We are not talking about pay here,?
he says.
?Phil gets up, puts his shirt on, walks
out. I have to do hair, make-up. I get
less sleep,? she says.
Allsopp tells me that the real
discrepancy in their workloads
emerged when she discovered the day
before they were both flying off on
separate holidays that Spencer did
not know which airport he was flying
from. ?Oh my God! I suddenly had this
realisation: Phil had played no part in
organising his family ski holiday.?
?I don?t think you allow Ben to
do it,? Spencer says mischievously.
?That is bollocks! If I left it to Ben it
wouldn?t happen. I said to Phil, ?What
the hell do you do in your life?? And he
said, ?Bins, mortgage and the car.? ?
?And the wine.?
?Oh yes!? Allsopp says, eyes flashing.
?There was this time Phil?s wine dealer
rang him. Phil says, ?But you have a
nanny and a PA.? And I?m, like, ?Yes,
but I have to make the decisions.? Phil
has to make no decisions in his world.
In Phil?s world he comes to work and
Fi makes his life really easy.?
?I can?t really complain,? he admits.
After that little outburst I bravely ask
Spencer if Allsopp has any annoying
habits. ?Unfailing ability to believe
she is right at every possible turn.?
?Which I am.?
The Hon Kirstie Allsopp, daughter
of the 6th Baron Hindlip, gave David
Cameron?s Tories some advice on
housing policy in opposition and
appears on Question Time. Does
Spencer think she would make a
decent MP? ?I don?t think she?d like it. I
think she?d probably like the idea of it.?
?You can?t be a successful MP
without toeing the party line,? she
says. Not a fan of line-toeing? ?Nope.?
I suggest that it is arguable that
they have a bigger influence as
TV presenters than they could as
Kirstie Allsopp
and Phil Spencer
Kirstie has
this ability
to believe
she is right
at every
possible
turn
The new series of
Love It or List It starts
on January 3 at
8pm on Channel 4
times2
MPs, and Spencer starts to mutter
something that sounds like ?yes? when
Allsopp jumps in and scolds him.
?No! No, Phil!? she commands. ?After
all these years you haven?t learnt. The
answer to that question is, ?No, I am
sure we don?t have more influence.? ?
Then she adds: ?Maybe the first time
I have ever lied to a journalist.?
Allsopp is acutely aware of the
controversies she can spark. Last
summer she provoked uproar with
a lighthearted tweet that her life?s
work was in part dedicated to keeping
washing machines out of kitchens.
?I didn?t like being called a
controversialist because I genuinely
don?t feel I am. I thought, ?This is
absurd.? I was sent off Twitter not by
Twitter itself, but by mostly female
columnists that thought, ?Ooh, she
doesn?t understand real people and
so she doesn?t understand that most
people have their washing machines
in their kitchen.?
?If you know about how the
majority of UK houses are built, it was
only in London, where no one had any
space or plumbing except in their
kitchen. It was very Londoncentric.?
She?s back, and very busy, on Twitter.
She decided to return because someone
asked her to continue her tradition of
posting pictures of Christmas trees.
Summoning my courage once more,
I ask Spencer if he has a washing
machine in his kitchen. ?He wouldn?t
dare,? Allsopp says.
It must be annoying, every time you
go to a dinner party, to be asked about
hot property issues. They claim they
don?t mind at all, which is a small
mistake on their part because I then
slip in a request for some advice on
whether the Whitworth household,
which has its child-monopolised TV
in the sitting room, should also have a
TV screen in the kitchen-dining area.
?TV in the smallest room. This is my
new thing,? Allsopp says firmly. Her
house in London (she also has a home
in Devon) had five bedrooms, but she
has reorganised it, keeping a master
bedroom and two further bedrooms
each with two boys in and turning the
other bedrooms into a TV room and
a dumping room.
Reassuringly, even Allsopp has
things in her house that aren?t quite
perfect. ?I was pregnant when we
moved in and so made a lot of
decisions which were big mistakes,
like the kitchen curtains with the little
chicks on them. Took me ages to get
rid of those. My other half doesn?t like
waste of any kind, so he is pathological
about things being thrown away.?
Spencer, who moved out of London
recently, says his spread in Hampshire
isn?t yet quite to his liking. ?I have a lot
of doors and I hate them.?
Allsopp?s opinionated forcefulness
and Spencer?s quieter, slyer approach
ensure that they balance each other
on TV. Among the couples they help,
however, there is a gender imbalance.
?If the woman is the one who wants to
move they will move, if the man wants
to move it?s not going to happen,?
Allsopp says. ?It?s the dynamic in
house-hunting. Listen to 90 per cent of
what the wife wants and 10 per cent
of what the husband wants.?
Hear that, Harry? Listen to your
wife. He should hope that Meghan
doesn?t listen to Allsopp, who would
list, not love, Nottingham Cottage.
?I am not a wild fan,? she says.
?Rather have Clarence House every
time. Kensington Palace is in the
middle of a park. You couldn?t look out
of a window without seeing someone.?
4
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Wednesday December 27 2017 | the times
fashion
All wrapped up: how to slouch
It?s possible to be cosy without looking a slob. And
you?ll feel all the better for it, says Anna Murphy
P
Three words that may sound
ower dressing. We know
ridiculously 21st century. I don?t care:
what it means. Tailoring.
they make me feel very jolly indeed.
Jackets. Fitted dresses.
How to pull it off? First, the fun
It?s about the workplace.
bit. Forget the Christmas jumper.
It?s about presenting
Embrace the everyday knit,
your best, your strongest
which these days is anything but
self, to make other
quotidian. Sweaters are better
people perceive you at
and brighter and bigger ? in
your best, your strongest.
a good way ? than ever. Buy
However, it?s not only about other
one really gorgeous, goodpeople. It?s about how you feel. Clothes
quality chunky knit and it
change how you see yourself as well as
will sprinkle magic dust over
how others see you. And that, in turn,
pretty much every weekend
changes the way people see you again.
from October to March. If
Dressing visibly, confidently, which
that?s not money well spent
doesn?t have to mean extravagantly,
Jumper, �0, trousers, �,
then I don?t know what is.
increases your bandwidth, makes you
and hat, �, hush-uk.com
My favourite brand for
seem bigger in the best possible sense.
tweaked classic styles is
So why does power dressing have to
&Daughter. Its Claragh
be workplace-specific? What about
Jumper, �.99, and
cable-knit crewneck,
at-home empowerment, where you
scarf, �.99, zara.com
available in navy, bottle
dress to impress even if you don?t have
green and sky blue, looks likee
an audience, or rather ? significantly
something the Mitford sisters
? if that audience is you alone? What
might have worn (�5, andabout, I kid you not, power cosy?
daughter.com). For not so much a
Utterly warm, utterly fabulous clothes
tweak on the classics as a retool,
that change the way you feel and the
check out Blake London. Its
way you are seen, by yourself if no
funnelneck Redfern comes in a
one else, but also happen to be
wonderful shade of smile-inducing
snug enough, relaxed enough to
scarlet (�5, blake-ldn.com).
transform the usual style dead zone
Zara has embraced the oversized
that is the post-Christmas, pre-new
jumper trend with a vengeance. What
year hump/slump/bump.
better way to make a statement than
So many women I meet dedicate
with a knit that?s writ large? I like its
significant headspace and resources to
cerise and white on grey diamondtheir working wardrobe and to special
pattern style, and its V-neck Varsity
occasions, but spend their off-duty
sweater, which would be called a
hours moping around at home in stuff
cricket jumper by the likes of you and
that has seen better days. Here we are,
Jumper, �.99, and trousers,
me, and comes in navy with a red and
the day after Boxing Day, and many
�.99, mango.com
white trim (both �.99, zara.com).
of us ? our house newly emptied, or
On its website Zara shows that
returned to after a social whirligig at
cricket knit layered over not one,
someone else?s, and having poured
but two other items of clothing, a
ourselves into a party frock for the
polo neck and a shirt. And herein
past few days ? are now dressed not
So you can wear just
lies another way to approach
to impress, but to channel our inner
a lightweight dress
21st-century cosy, layering so
Waynetta. We are, to misquote
over and under addassiduous as to merit a new
Joan Didion, slouching away from
on
o elements. I would
nomenclature. To call it
Bethlehem, in terrible old jumpers
also
a consider buying a
millefeuille would be
and saggy trackpants.
jumper dress, too, for
an exaggeration, but
I understand all too well why
extra
January warmth.
e
troisfeuille, even
this happens. I?ve been there,
Such
as Massimo
S
quatrefeuille, is par
done that, drunk the at times
Dutti?s grey tie-waisted number
for the course for the
criminally un-Kool-Aid. Of
(�9, instore only), or Brora?s subtly
way fashion women dress in the past
fashion pack this
course it?s easier not to make
striped merino style in khaki and
six months. They use pretty much
winter. You start with
an effort. It?s also cheaper.
charcoal or charcoal and black (�8,
the same building blocks year round,
your finest layer ?
Why bother if no one is
brora.co.uk). (On the subject of Brora,
just layer up or de-layer depending
perhaps a thin knit or on the weather. Before Christmas
bearing witness to your offand should you be venturing beyond
thick long-sleeved tee, I saw my peers wearing the same
duty gear except for your
your front door, I am a late adopter
perhaps a shirt, perhaps
partner and/or your kids
of its superlative cashmere wrist
lightweight dresses I had seen them
and/or nobody? Because
warmers, which do more than it says
in at the catwalk shows in September,
both ? you layer a thicker
you are seeing you.
on the tin ? snug hands too ? while
but they had mixed in underknit on top of that, which
The clothes that you
allowing you to use your phone; �.)
accoutrements worthy of Little Dorrit,
might take the form of either the
spend most of your time
Then there?s Baukjen?s turtleneck
albeit considerably more hip, plus
aforementioned jumper or the
in ? and in this country
merino Alicia (� in black, �9 in
woolly tights and chunky boots.
yet-to-be-mentioned jumper dress
that means, alas, clothes
navy, baukjen.com). Layer over a shirt,
What?s going on? Fashion women
(more on this anon). On top of that
that keep you warm ?
over trousers even. (The front rowers
are tiring of the idea of an entirely
you add the icing on the cake: a
matter. Off duty should
separate winter and summer wardrobe are particularly obsessed with the skirt
shearling or faux-fur gilet, or a
mean presenting only
over trousers combo at the moment.)
variety of housecoat so superior that and are blending the outer reaches
another version of your best
Belt it should you want to give
of both. They are taking their lead
it banishes all memories of Hilda
self. Off duty should be about
definition at the waist. All of the above
from the catwalk designers who, in
Ogden for ever. If you are going
making yourself as happy as you
is illustrated on this small British
turn, are taking their lead from an
Faux-fur coat, �9.99, mango.com out it has to be a parka; although
can. And looking rubbish never
brand?s website. In fact, this is a great
ever more internationally far-flung ?
don?t feel you must brave the
makes anyone feel good. That is
place to get ideas on how to layer
and globetrotting ? consumer, and
outdoors for my sake. (I like Zara?s
why power cosy is, I promise,
more generally, should you be feeling
black textured take, �,99, zara.com.) producing collections full of nonan eminently sensible concept.
uncertain about the very idea. Baukjen
season specific pieces. Great news for
Some of these layers may be fine,
Although, just to be clear,
is strong on superior slouchiness and
us Brits, who have long endured, er,
but by stacking them up the result
power in this context is
has some great jersey pieces, from the
non-season specific seasons; summer
is power cosy.
anything but hard-edged, and
black Tania jumpsuit (�) to the navy
days that are like autumn days, spring
I would say this has been one of
rarely tailored. Soft power cosy.
Beau V-neck dress (�). These are
days that are like winter days etc.
the biggest developments in the
The
clothes
you spend
most of
your time
in matter
the times | Wednesday December 27 2017
5
1G T
fashion
about in style The must-have tops to
wear to parties
In the right frothy number you?ll
sail through the New Year?s Eve
bash, says Anna Murphy
W
Jumper, �9, and trousers,
�, meandem.com
V neck, �9, polo neck, �.95,
massimodutti.com
clothes that would cut it in the
workplace too. Power cosy indeed.
Two other brands I rate are Hush
and Me+Em. The former?s joggers
have become a go-to for the more chic
variety of couch potato ? the chaise
pomme de terre, if you will. The Amie
comes in four plains plus two stripes
(from �.50, hush-uk.com). And that?s
just to start with; there are assorted
other options. Its sweatshirts are also
Sweaters are
brighter and
bigger (in a good
way) than ever
winners, from the cerise on burgundy
?C?est Si Bon? slogan example (�)
to the all-black floral embroidered
iteration, which has a gorgeous
cutwork flower on its front and is so
suave as to redefine the very notion
of a sweatshirt (�).
Me+Em has trackpants galore too,
but has conjured up a clever new
category called ?layering shirts?. These
are soft crepe or jersey styles that are
specifically designed to be worn under
fine knits and have interest-endowing
detail at the neck and/or wrist. Take
the blush lace trim collar style, or
the pleated collar and fluted sleeve
version, available in black or white
(both �, meandem.com). And
Me+Em does the knits to go with,
including a cashmere box hoodie,
which comes in four colours (�9).
Let?s not stop there with the
layering. For me the game-changer
piece is what happens next. The final,
ahem, feuille might be a gilet, such as
Me+Em?s grey or black shearling one
(�0), or Mint Velvet?s grey faux-fur
one (�, johnlewis.com). Or it might
be one of Toast?s kantha quilted coats,
which are made from recycled saris
and make me want to start toasting
marshmallows round the fire pronto
(�5; a jacket version starts from �5;
toa.st). And not forgetting Blue
Marmalade?s Audrey silk quilt kimono
(�0, bluemarmaladelondon.com).
Not so much power cosy as movie-star
cosy. That?s my kind of practical.
hoops.
You have
forgotten
to buy a
party
dress and
there?s
that New
Year?s Eve shindig still to come. How
about a party top? Much less hassle to
shop for and to wear. The very thing
that makes a dress great ? its
complete-look-ness; put it on, job done
? is also its limitation.
Separates are more flexible and in
that sense are likely to give you more
bang for your buck. Which isn?t just
about value for money ? although
there most definitely is that ? but
about wardrobe space.
If the real estate you can dedicate
to clothing is limited, you need to
make sure everything hanging on
your rail is worn as often as possible.
A one or two-hit-a-year wonder is all
very well for those who can keep it in
the spare-spare bedroom. But back in
the real world . . .
Which is why I give you this
gorgeous piece of frothiness, this
tulle-tasy from the boutique British
brand Isabelle Fox (�5, available in
cream and black, isabellefox.com).
Wear it with a full skirt and you are
Audrey Hepburn. (Coast?s diphemmed Kiki skirt ? blowsy white iris
and tulip outlined against black ? is
molto chic, �9, coast-stores.com.)
Wear it with black velvet trousers and
you are Kristin Scott Thomas. (Reiss?s
satin Beth trousers are �5, the
matching Vixen jacket �5, reiss.com.)
Wear it with jeans and you are Kate
Moss. (The London designer Emilia
Wickstead?s first venture into
denim has sent the fashion pack
nuts. Her No Twenty Eight highwaisted straight-leg is reduced from
m
�0 to �3 at matchesfashion.com.)
m.)
All these ensembles will endow
you with maximum party wattage,,
whatever the nature of the kneesup. This is a top that will enable
you to hold your own at a posh
soir閑 with the spare-spare
bedroom lot ? just try not to
accessorise with green eyes ?
and also to cut a swathe through
cool sofa-surfing hipsters half yourr
age. (At this point I could ask the
question ?Why??, but I won?t.)
What?s more, layered under an
office-appropriate jacket, it would cut
the mustard Monday to Friday too.
o
(I like Me+Em?s mono check with red
side-stripe, �9, with matching trews
for �9, meandem.com.) Thankfully
most of us aren?t having to think about
such matters at the moment. But we
all know we will be back in the office
in about six and a half minutes. This
top might help us to survive the return.
Bling for your ears
Earrings, �5,
maggieowenlondon.
com. Top: tulle top,
�5, isabellefox.com
Can?t even face buying a new top?
You can think smaller when it comes
p
to a party
refresh. Earrings have
always b
been my default one-stop way
change up a look for evening. So I
to chang
thought
though I had all the best purveyors
of ea
ear bling down pat. Not so.
M
Maggie Owen?s small but
stupendously sparkly London
stu
boutique has some of the most
bou
unusual
and delicious pieces
un
around.
These beauts, Ella Blue
aro
by S
Simon Harrison, also come
iin
n a Monday morning-ready
sshorter
horte version (�5 and �
respectively,
maggieowenlondon.com).
respect
You could
cou wear them with a black knit,
trousers and some plain black pumps
and still be the belle of the ball. Check
out Owen?s
Owe website pronto: it promises
decades of party joy.
You could add to the fun by putting
Lipstick Queen?s cult Hello Sailor
lipstick in your bag, which looks to be
in matchy-matchy blue, but actually
gives a flattering berry stain to the lips
(�, spacenk.com).
Instagram: @annagmurphy
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be jolly well-read
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7
1G T
television & radio
Not a word wasted in this classic cover version
PATRICK REDMOND/PLAYGROUND/BBC
Alex
O?Connell
TV review
Little Women
BBC One
{{{{{
The Miniaturist
BBC One
{{{((
I
t was brave to take on Little
Women, Louisa May Alcott?s story
of the March sisters. I was nervous
? I watch the 1994 film, with
Winona Ryder as the fiery tomboy
Josephine, at least once a year. Happily,
as with the best cover versions, the
writer Heidi Thomas (Call the Midwife,
Cranford) reminds us why we love it
and shows us the classic in a bright
new light. It was not the middlebrow
soup I had worried it might be.
Jo (Maya Hawke, Ethan Hawke
and Uma Thurman?s daughter) is
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
The Compass
World Service, 1.30pm
It is the constant complaint
of those who work in
disaster relief: while the
world?s eye is on a particular
disaster, its wallet is duly
opened to help it. Then the
reporters move away and
the interest fades. This
series, presented by Tulip
Mazumdar, looks at people
caught up in three disasters
? the Japanese tsunami of
2011, the collapse of Rana
Plaza in Bangladesh in 2013
and the ebola outbreak in
west Africa in 2014 ? and
asks what happened to them
when the cameras moved on.
Radio 4?s Pen Pals
Radio 4, 1.45pm
A programme to comfort
those traditionalists who
have long been crafting
elegies for the art of letter
writing. In this five-part
series the BBC looks at five
pairs of international pen
pals and reads their post.
In today?s episode it is Lyse
Doucet, the BBC?s chief
international correspondent.
As you would expect of
someone with her
interesting life, her pen pal
is pretty interesting too:
Masood Khalili, a former
fighter, and a poet-cumdiplomat, whom she met
while covering the early
years of war in Afghanistan.
a revelation in her first TV role,
playing the free spirit as a slightly
geeky 15-year-old ? especially
around neighbour Laurie Laurence
(Jonah Hauer-King, who excels at
being playful in this first episode,
but may find lovelorn more of a
challenge later on). The dialogue has
a modern flavour, but doesn?t unsettle
the period setting. ?I like good strong
words that mean something . . .? Jo
says in the book ? and the same
can be said of Thomas, whose clever
script wastes not a word.
The other sisters (Willa Fitzgerald,
Annes Elwy and Kathryn Newton)
are terrific ? in fact, all the Marches
were kindred spirits in my book. I
warmed quickly to Emily Watson?s
Marmee, anxious and less invincible
than Susan Sarandon?s in the movie,
and the better for it. Angela Lansbury?s
terrifying Lady March avoids panto
ridiculousness and Michael Gambon?s
Mr Laurence ? stern, still grieving,
soft inside ? is just right. The
highlight of last night?s episode was
the moment when Amy fell through
the ice while skating and, after a
ruckus over a burnt manuscript,
Jo and Laurie pulled her out and
the sisters came together again.
It suddenly felt a lot like Christmas.
The same could not be said for
The Miniaturist, which was devoid
of any cheer, yule or otherwise. This
series was adapted for the screen by
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Scott and Chris 10.00 Adele Roberts
1.00pm Dev 4.00 Jordan North 7.00 Annie
Mac 9.00 BBC Radio 1 & 1Xtra?s Stories: Love
with Annie Nightingale 10.00 BBC Radio 1 &
1Xtra?s Stories: Music By Numbers ? Miley
Cyrus 11.00 Huw Stephens 1.00am Benji B
3.00 BBC Radio 1 & 1Xtra?s Stories: Extreme
Festivals ? The Festival That Never Sleeps
4.00 Early Breakfast
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Trevor Nelson 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Radio 2 in Concert (r)
3.00 Craig Charles 5.00 Paint It Black with
Ronnie Wood and Anneka Rice 7.00 The Folk
Show with Mark Radcliffe. Memorable live
performances 8.00 Ana Matronic. A selection
of disco classics 10.00 Mark Kermode?s
Celluloid Jukebox. The ?lm critic?s exploration
of the marriage of pop and ?lm concludes
11.00 Stanley Baxter?s Musical World.
Musical showcase, with the Scottish actor
and impressionist 12.00 Pick of the Pops (r)
2.00am Radio 2 Playlists: Country Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 Nicki Chapman
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents
9.00 Essential Classics
With guest Griff Rhys Jones
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Cole Porter (1891-1964)
Donald Macleod focuses on the composer?s
success with Gay Divorce, starring Fred
Astaire, the racy story of Nymph Errant
and the music of Anything Goes (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Ian Skelly presents highlights of the
Schubertiade, recorded at the Angelika
Kauffmann Saal, Schwarzenberg, last June.
Beethoven (Quartet in E minor, Op 59
No 2 ? Rasumovsky); and Schubert
(Fantasy in C, D760 ? Wandererfantasie)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Jonathan Swain presents a concert the BBC
Philharmonic gave on tour in Santander.
Beethoven (Overture ? Egmont, Op 84);
Rachmaninov (Rhapsody on a Theme of
Paganini for piano and orchestra, Op 43); and
Berlioz (Symphonie fantastique, Op 14)
Emily Watson plays the March family matriarch in Little Women
3.30 Choral Evensong
Recorded in St Gabriel?s Church, Pimlico,
London with the Rodolfus Choir. Introit:
Bethlehem Down (Warlock). Responses:
Piccolo. Psalm 97 (Gauntlett). First Lesson:
Isaiah 6 vv 1-8. Of?ce Hymn: Of the Father?s
Heart Begotten (Divinum mysterium).
Magni?cat quinti toni (Praetorius). Second
Lesson: 1 John 5 vv 1-12. Nunc dimittis tertii
toni (Victoria). Anthem: Mater ora ?lium
(Bax). Hymn: Unto Us Is Born a Son (Puer
nobis nascitur). Organ Voluntary: No雔
Parisien, Op 26 No 4 (Quef). Conductor:
Ralph Allwood. Organist: Tom Winpenny
4.30 New Generation Artists
The new generation artist Elena Urioste and
Beatrice Rana perform Beethoven (Violin
Sonata No 5 in F, Op 24 ? Spring)
5.00 Words and Music
Pieces inspired by fairy tales, featuring music
by Schoenberg and Sondheim and readings of
poetry and prose by Perrault and Grimm, read
by Jim Broadbent and Helen McCrory (r)
6.15 New Generation Artists
Clemency Burton-Hill continues her
Christmas series with the Calidore Quartet
and Ashley Riches. Vaughan Williams (Silent
Noon); Caroline Shaw (First Essay); Haydn
(String Quartet No 5 in D, Op 64 ? The Lark);
Vaughan Williams (Songs of Travel); Martinu
(Sonatina); and Ives (The Light That Is Felt)
7.30 BBC Proms 2017
The BBC Symphony Orchestra conducted by
Sir Andrew Davis, with the pianist Beatrice
Rana. Presented by Petroc Trelawny from the
Royal Albert Hall. Trad arr Wood (The
National Anthem); Berlioz (Overture: Le
carnaval romain); Schumann (Piano Concerto
in A minor); Elgar (Overture: Cockaigne ? In
London Town); Walton (Fa鏰de, Suite No 1;
and Fa鏰de Suite No 2 ? Popular Song);
Holst (The Perfect Fool, Op 39); Delius
(On Hearing the First Cuckoo in Spring);
and Britten (The Young Person?s
Guide to the Orchestra) (r)
9.30 BBC Proms 2017
Pablo Heras-Casado conducts the Freiburg
Baroque Orchestra, and the soloist Isabelle
Faust. Presented by Ian Skelly from the
Royal Albert Hall. Mendelssohn (Overture:
The Hebrides ? Fingal?s Cave); Violin
Concerto in E minor; and Symphony
No 5 in D ? Reformation) (r)
11.00 Late Junction
The composer, producer, DJ and label director
Gabriel Proko?ev concludes his stint in the
hotseat, playing music that cuts across his
various musical interests and activities
12.30am Through the Night
A concert of wind chamber music (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am-7.30 (LW) Test Match Special:
Australia v England
The second day of the fourth Ashes Test
5.30 News Brie?ng
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (9/12)
6.00 Today
7.30 (LW) Today
9.00 Soul Music
How Bob Marley?s Redemption Song has
inspired generations around the world (2/5)
9.30 Why I Changed My Mind
How Bill Browder?s change of mind has made
him Vladimir Putin?s great enemy (3/4) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Adventures of a Young Naturalist
David Attenborough reads from his 1950s
account of his trip to Java (3/5)
10.02 Woman?s Hour
Discussion and interviews, presented by
Jenni Murray. Including at 10.45 the 15
Minute Drama: Incredible Women (3/5)
11.00 A Place Called Home
Business woman Mary Portas goes back
to her Watford roots (2/4) (r)
11.30 John Finnemore?s
Souvenir Programme
A seasonal special from 2016 (1/6) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Radio 4?s Pen Pals
Lyse Doucet and her Afghan pen-pal
exchange poignant letters about war, poetry
and cancer. See Radio Choice (3/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Game Over
By Emily Short. Video game designer Chelsea
has a tough job ahead building her game
3.02 Ramblings
Clare Balding walks from Constantine Bay to
Harlyn along the Cornish coast (1/6) (r)
3.26 The Listening Project
3.30 The Power of Sloth
Lucy Cooke discovers the bene?ts
of being really slow (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O?Clock News
6.15 Dr John Cooper Clarke at the BBC
The Bard of Salford performs a mixture of
classic and previously unheard poems (1/2)
John Brownlow from Jessie Burton?s
debut novel set in 17th-century
Amsterdam. Petronella Oortman
(Anya Taylor-Joy, who goes from
naive china-doll country girl to
feminist firebrand in less time than
it takes to eat a stroopwafel) moves
to Amsterdam to marry the rich,
secretive, useless sugar trader
Johannes Brandt, who needs her good
name. Poor Nella must endure
Johannes?s icy sister Marin Brandt
(Romola Garai), the gossipy maid
Cornelia and the former slave Otto,
played as well as they might be by
Hayley Squires and Paapa Essiedu.
She must also deal with the
wedding present from hell, a gift
from her husband ? a doll?s house
replica of their family home peopled
by tiny versions of real-life figures.
Oh, and it predicts the future, so when
the dog is stabbed the miniature pup
sheds blood. Spooky silly.
Still, Garai has never been better,
playing Marin as a Dutch Mrs
Danvers, the barely lit prison of a
house a canalside Manderley. Yet her
lines ? example: ?Don?t play with fire,
Petronella, or you?ll get burnt along
with the rest of us? ? are not worthy
of Garai?s commendable delivery, and
the far-fetched story plods along like
a carthorse in clogs. Still, loved the
interiors. Black walls, uplighting ? all
very this season.
alex.oconnell@thetimes.co.uk
6.30 Jeremy Hardy Feels It
Jeremy not only seconds an emotion,
but explains it too (3/4)
7.00 The Archers
Pat gets a belated gift
7.15 Front Row
Kazuo Ishiguro talks to John Wilson
7.45 Incredible Women
Spoof documentary (3/5) (r)
8.00 We Need to Talk About Death
Joan Bakewell and her panel discuss how
to opt to be buried at sea (3/3)
8.45 Encounters
Two people share their opposing views
on dangerous dogs (3/4)
9.00 Against Our Ruin
The popularity of ruins and relics (r)
9.30 Soul Music (2/5) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
How to Stop Time
By Matt Haig (3/10)
11.00-5.20 (LW) Test Match Special:
Australia v England
Commentary on the third day of the fourth
Ashes Test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground
11.00 Life on Egg
Comedy starring Harry Hill (1/4)
11.15 Lazy Susan:
East Coast Listening Post
Turning attention to the British
phenomenon that was ?Mr Splatt? (2/4)
11.30 Anansi Boys
By Neil Gaiman (3/6)
12.00 News and Weather
12.15am Bone Stories (2/5) (r)
12.30 Book of the Week: Adventures
of a Young Naturalist (3/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 A Very Private
Man 9.00 Act Your Age 9.30 Life, Death and
Sex with Mike and Sue 10.00 The Great
Gatsby 11.00 Ballet Stories 11.15 The
Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
12.00 The Navy Lark 12.30pm A Very
Private Man 1.00 A Case for Paul Temple
1.30 Candlelight: The Living Flame 2.00 The
Diary of a Provincial Lady 2.15 Five Hundred
Years of Friendship 2.30 Dombey and Son
2.45 The Pantomime Life of Joseph Grimaldi
3.00 The Great Gatsby 4.00 Act Your Age
4.30 Life, Death and Sex with Mike and Sue
5.00 Like They?ve Never Been Gone 5.30
Jeremy Hardy Feels It 6.00 Good Omens
6.30 Musical Legends 7.00 The Navy Lark.
Comedy with Leslie Phillips 7.30 A Very
Private Man. David dreads the forthcoming
visit by his mother 8.00 A Case for Paul
Temple. Paul Temple and Sir Graham fall into
a trap 8.30 Candlelight: The Living Flame.
The symbolic nature of candlelight 9.00
Ballet Stories. Read by Anthony Dowell
9.15 The Further Adventures of Sherlock
Holmes. The Thirteen Watches by Bert
Coules 10.00 Comedy Club: Jeremy Hardy
Feels It 10.30 The Secret World 11.00 Mr
and Mrs Smith 11.30 Clayton Grange
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
7.00am Ashes Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Sam Walker 1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 7.45 5
Live Sport: Premier League Football 2017-18:
Newcastle United v Manchester City
(Kick-off 7.45) 10.00 The Ashes 10.30 5
Live News 11.30 The Ashes: Australia v
England. Coverage of the third day?s play
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
10.00 Tony Cascarino and Bob Mills 1.00pm
Danny Kelly and Max Rushden 4.00 Adrian
Durham 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Tom Latchem
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Jon Hillcock 10.00 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00 Huey
Morgan 7.00 Best of the 6 Music Festival
9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends 1.00am Vic Galloway?s
Barrowlands 2.00 The Evolution of John
Peel: 2000s Evolution 2.30 6 Music Live Hour
3.30 6 Music?s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 10.00 John
Brunning 2.00pm Jane Jones 5.00 Sam
Pittis 8.00 The Full Works Concert. Anon
(Gaudete); JS Bach (Orchestral Suite No.4 in
D); Grieg (Norwegian Dances); John Field
(Irish Concerto); Anon (O Little One Sweet);
John Rutter (Shepherd?s Pipe Carol);
Handel (Organ Concerto in F); Anon
(Coventry Carol); Alexia Sloane (Elegy for
Aylan); John Tavener (Song for Athene);
and Arvo Part (Spiegel im Spiegel) 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Bob Jones
8
1G T
Wednesday December 27 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Turtle, Eagle,
Cheetah:
A Slow Odyssey
BBC Four, 9pm
If you have
overindulged
in the
opulent
delights of Christmas
telly, here is the visual
equivalent of an Alka-
Early
Top
pick
Seltzer. The BBC?s
slow-TV offering
follows the wanderings
of three animals ?
a green sea turtle, a
white-tailed sea eagle
and three cheetahs.
All three subjects are
granted half an hour,
unfettered by human
camera teams. Instead
the programme-makers
make use of the latest
onboard wearable
technology, pioneered
by the BBC?s Natural
History Unit, to take
you deep into these
animals? worlds. The
word immersive is
overused these days,
but there is no other
way to describe the
experience of seeing
the world through a
camera mounted on the
back of a turtle as it
drifts through a coral
reef in Indonesia. The
only accompaniments
are the occasional
captions, the burblings
of the sea and some
Brian Eno-esque
ambient music. This
mesmeric opening
sequence is so restful,
you might nod off. The
ante is upped slightly as
we head to the rugged
west coast of Scotland
to see what life is like
for a white-tailed sea
eagle. This five-year-old
female is falconry-
trained, so we glimpse
some human beings,
but then we are solely
with the bird as she
glides across the crags
of Crois Bheinn, the
beating of her wings,
the stiff breeze and the
patter of rain the only
sounds. Finally we?re
off to Namibia to watch
three orphaned
cheetahs navigating the
woodland and scrub
of the Central Plateau.
Agatha Christie
vs Hercule Poirot
Sky Arts, 7.30pm
With Kenneth Branagh
hamming it up as the
Belgian detective in
cinemas, now is an
opportune moment
to spend some time
with Agatha Christie?s
most famous creation.
However, this
documentary focuses
on The Murder of Roger
Ackroyd, written in
1926. The infamy of the
third novel to feature
Poirot rests on its
startling reveal, hugely
original in its day. The
author was pilloried by
critics at the time for
this. Pierre Bayard, a
professor of literature
and a psychoanalyst,
offers a fascinating
deconstruction of the
novel and comes to a
surprising conclusion.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 7.45 Match of the Day. Gary Lineker
presents highlights of the latest Premier League matches
(r) 9.15 FILM: Turbo (U, 2013) Animated adventure
with the voice of Ryan Reynolds (AD) 10.45 FILM: The
Princess and the Frog (U, 2009) Disney animated
musical fantasy with the voice of Anika Noni Rose (AD)
12.15pm Snow Bears. Documentary following polar
bears travelling to the North Pole (r) (AD) 1.15 BBC
News 1.25 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.35 Father
Brown. Sid falls for the heiress to a local brewery (r) (AD)
2.20 FILM: Shrek 2 (U, 2004) The ogre meets his
in-laws, who are decidedly unimpressed with their
daughter?s choice of husband. Animated adventure sequel
with the voices of Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz (AD)
3.45 The Gruffalo. Animated adaptation of the children?s
book with the voice of Robbie Coltrane (r) (AD) 4.10
FILM: Big Hero 6 (PG, 2014) An orphan forms a
special bond with an in?atable robot who helps him and
his friends investigate a devastating event. Animated
adventure featuring the voice of Ryan Potter (AD) 5.45
Pointless. Quiz show hosted by Alexander Armstrong (r)
6.30 BBC News 6.50 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.25am Sign Zone: Mary Berry?s Country House Secrets
(r) (AD, SL) 7.25 Island Parish Shetland (r) (AD) 7.55
FILM: Bears (U, 2014) A documentary that follows an
Alaskan bear family as the young cubs are taught life?s
most important lessons. Narrated by John C Reilly 9.10
The Big Family Cooking Showdown (r) (AD) 10.10
Nadiya?s British Food Adventure (r) (AD) 11.10 The
Sweet Makers: A Georgian Treat (r) (AD) 12.10pm
FILM: The Red Shoes (U, 1948) A budding prima
ballerina?s love for a composer arouses the wrath of her
possessive mentor. Powell and Pressburger?s drama
starring Anton Walbrook and Moira Shearer (AD) 2.20
The World?s Most Extraordinary Homes (r) (AD) 3.20
Inside the Factory. Investigating the production of tea (r)
(AD) 4.20 FILM: The Man Who Never Was (U,
1956) Allied forces prepare to invade Europe, devising an
ingenious plan to outwit the enemy. Fact-based Second
World War drama starring Clifton Webb and Gloria
Grahame 6.00 Thailand: Earth?s Tropical Paradise.
Exploring the wildlife and culture of the South East Asian
nation. The ?rst episode examines the south of the
country and the role of spirituality in daily life (r) (AD)
6.00am CITV: Sooty 6.10 The Oddbods Show (r) 6.15
Om Nom Stories (r) 6.20 Super 4 (r) 6.45 Mr Bean: The
Animated Series (r) (AD) 7.10 Horrid Henry (r) (AD)
7.25 FILM: K-9 (12, 1989) A hard-bitten cop is
partnered with a lovable Alsatian that puts him through
his paces on the biggest case of his career. Comedy
starring James Belushi, Mel Harris and Ed O?Neill (AD)
9.25 FILM: Twins (PG, 1988) Genetically designed
twin brothers who were separated at birth set out on an
adventure in search of their unknown mother. Comedy
starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito (AD)
11.25 Cannonball Christmas Special. Andrew Flintoff
hosts a special festive edition of the action-packed
water-based game show (r) 12.25pm You?ve Been
Framed! 12.55 ITV News; Weather 1.00 Midsomer
Murders. A man is stabbed to death during a party (r)
(AD) 3.00 Tenable. Quiz hosted by Warwick Davis
(r) 4.00 Tipping Point. Game show hosted by Ben
Shephard (r) 5.00 The Chase. Quiz show hosted by
Bradley Walsh (r) 6.00 Paul O?Grady: For the Love of
Dogs. A British bulldog has a problem with its legs (r)
6.30 Regional News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather
6.40am FILM: Short Circuit 2 (PG, 1988) Sci-?
comedy sequel with Fisher Stevens (AD) 8.40 Lego
Masters. The hunt is on for the UK and Ireland?s best Lego
builders (r) (AD) 9.40 The Simpsons (r) (AD) 11.05
FILM: Small Soldiers (PG, 1998) A computer chip
brings a squad of toy soldiers to life. Children?s adventure
with Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith 1.15pm FILM:
Sunshine on Leith (PG, 2013) Two soldiers return
home from Afghanistan, but struggle to adjust to civilian
life. Musical featuring songs by the Proclaimers, starring
George MacKay and Kevin Guthrie 3.10 Four Rooms with
Sarah Beeny. A very rare book by Mary Wollstonecraft and
William Blake 4.15 Channel 4 News 4.30 FILM: Back to
the Future Part II (PG, 1989) Time-travelling teenager
Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to
save his children from a terrible fate. However, this
proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future
version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite
history for his own bene?t, leaving Marty stuck in a
twisted parallel universe. Sci-? comedy sequel starring
Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Brody ?nds out that Maggie has cancer (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Cruising with Jane McDonald.
The presenter embarks on a series of ocean odysseys (r)
9.30 World?s Strongest Man 2017. Highlights of the
World Tour Finals ? a ?ve-round, 10-man competition
which took place in front of 10,000 fans at Manchester
Arena 10.30 FILM: North Sea Hijack (15, 1979) An
eccentric millionaire volunteers his counter-terrorist team
to thwart an attempt by a madman to blow up two oil rigs
in the North Sea. Thriller with Roger Moore and James
Mason 12.25pm FILM: Operation Crossbow (PG,
1965) Three engineers parachute into occupied Holland to
destroy a missile base ? but there is a traitor in their
midst. Second World War adventure with George Peppard
and Sophia Loren 2.40 FILM: Operation ? Daybreak
(15, 1975) Fact-based Second World War drama about
the assassination of leading Nazi Reinhard Heydrich and
the subsequent search for the British-trained Czech
patriots who killed him. As German forces scoured
the countryside, the apparently insigni?cant village of
Lidice came to bear the brunt of their rage. Starring
Timothy Bottoms, Martin Shaw, Joss Ackland, Nicola
Pagett, Anton Diffring and Anthony Andrews
7.00 Dad?s Army The vicar holds a
fundraising bazaar (8/8) (r)
7.30 A Question of Sport: Premier
League Special Light-hearted quiz
with Dion Dublin, Graeme Le Saux,
Darren Bent and Alex Scott
7.30 Christmas University Challenge
2017 Teams from the University of
York and University of Southampton
compete in the quiz (3/10)
8PM
8.00 Little Women The March sisters
must fend for themselves at home as
Marmee is preoccupied with caring for
her ailing husband, but the girls face
an insurmountable challenge as Beth
falls dangerously ill (2/3) (AD)
8.00 Six Robots & Us A unique
experiment exploring the latest
innovations in robotics, to examine
how useful robots can be in enhancing
the lives of ordinary families.
See Viewing Guide (1/2) (AD)
9.00 The Miniaturist Nella desperately
tries to turn the fortunes of the
Brandt household around, but the
miniatures and their messages keep
coming. With shocking secrets still
to surface and time beginning to run
out, Nella worries that her fate
may be predestined (2/2) (AD)
9.00 Alan Partridge: Why, When,
Where, How and Whom?
Documentary celebrating 25 years
of Steve Coogan?s comic creation,
featuring contributions from writers
and co-stars and previously unseen
rehearsal and improv footage.
See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
11PM
10.20 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.30 Mrs Brown?s Boys Christmas
Special Cathy has an internet date,
and Rory hopes to improve his looks
by undergoing plastic surgery (r)
11.00 Not Going Out Christmas Special
Lee faces a desperate search for
a Christmas present (r)
Late
10PM
7PM
7.00 Celebrity Mastermind New series.
With Jack Ashton, Rich Hall, Guy
Mowbray and Pam Ayres (1/10)
9PM
IT?S ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC
11.40 Comic Relief 2017: ?Twas the
Thanks After Red Nose Day
Lenny Henry and Sally Phillips look
back at some of the highlights from
the 2017 Comic Relief fundraising
event, featuring a host of famous
faces and comedic routines
12.45am-6.00 BBC News
10.00 Oasis: Supersonic (15, 2016)
Documentary about the early years of
the Manchester band who dominated
the charts in the mid-1990s. The ?lm
focuses on the relationship between
the Gallagher brothers Noel and Liam,
including their infamous sibling
rivalry, and also features rare concert
footage. With Noel Gallagher, Liam
Gallagher, Peggie Gallagher, Paul
?Bonehead? Arthurs, Paul ?Guigsy:
McGuigan, Tony McCarroll,
Alan McGee and Owen Morris
7.00 Emmerdale Zak enlists Faith?s help
in faking the paperwork to save the
Dingle home. Liv is delighted to see
that Aaron and Alex are together (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street Eileen is
determined to ?nd out more about
Billy?s fall, while Adam vows to get
justice for his mum?s death (AD)
7.00 The Supervet at Christmas Noel
Fitzpatrick is called upon to help a
Humboldt penguin chick that needs
surgery on its foot. He also treats
a Maine coon cat that needs help
with a mysterious swelling in its
back leg and a husky from Thailand
undergoes hip surgery (r) (AD)
4.55 The Guns of Navarone (PG, 1961)
Allied soldiers are sent to sabotage
German artillery emplacements.
Second World War adventure based on
Alistair MacLean?s novel, with Gregory
Peck, David Niven and Anthony Quinn;
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Harry Potter and the Goblet of
Fire (12, 2005) Adolescent wizard
Harry is unexpectedly chosen to
represent Hogwarts School in a
prestigious magical tournament,
despite being legally too young to
enter. Along with charming sixth-year
student Cedric Diggory, Harry takes on
the champions of two other magical
academies visiting the school, facing
deadly monsters in a series of
death-defying challenges. Meanwhile,
the followers of the dreaded Lord
Voldemort plot to restore their master
to the land of the living. Fourth
instalment of the fantasy saga starring
Daniel Radcliffe, Robbie Coltrane,
Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon,
Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Brendan
Gleeson and Robert Pattinson (AD)
8.00 Supershoppers Sales Special Anna
Richardson and Sabrina Grant offer
money-saving tips, and investigate
some of the slashed prices and
discounts from retailers that may not
be all they seem. Plus, a look at pricey
high street cashmere jumpers and
supermarket sweaters at half the price
8.00 World?s Strongest Man 2017
Action from the opening heat in
Botswana, which featured four former
winners including defending champion
Brian Shaw ? targeting a recordequalling ?fth title (6/11)
9.00 Miranda Does Christmas
A Christmas special hosted by the
comedian Miranda Hart, featuring a
unique gospel choir performance, and
a festive version of a Destiny?s Child
classic. With special guests including
David Tennant, Sam Smith and Prue
Leith. See Viewing Guide (AD)
9.00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments
2017 Memorable moments featuring
famous faces from the past year,
including David Beckham?s leaked
e-mails, Wayne Rooney?s drink-driving,
the wrong ?lm being announced as
Best Picture at the Oscars, and Taylor
Swift?s controversial music video for
Look What You Made Me Do. Plus,
highlights from the year?s reality
television shows, including Prue Leith
accidentally spoiling the result of
The Great British Bake Off ?nale.
With contributions from Louis
Walsh, Len Goodman, Sinitta,
Amelia Lily, Eamonn Holmes, Marcel
Somerville and Brian Harvey
10.50 ITV News
11.05 Tina & Bobby Drama about the
footballer Bobby Moore?s life with
his childhood sweetheart Tina Dean,
from their humble beginnings to
superstardom (1/3) (r) (AD)
11.05 East Is East (15, 1999) Two Asian
teenagers in 1970s Salford are
horri?ed when their traditionally
minded father plans arranged
marriages for them. Comedy drama
starring Om Puri, Linda Bassett, Jimi
Mistry and Archie Panjabi (AD)
12.05am Get Shirty Documentary examining how a
small underwear company from Leicester invented a
replica football kit and established an industry now worth
billions of pounds (r) 12.55 Jackpot247. Interactive
gaming 3.00 May the Best House Win (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.50am Very British Problems at Christmas (r)
(AD) 1.45 That?s So Last Century (r) (AD) 2.35 Britain?s
Favourite Superhero (r) (AD) 4.00 Location, Location,
Location (r) 4.55 Four in a Bed (r) 5.20 Kirstie?s
Handmade Christmas (r) 5.40-7.20 FILM: Holiday Inn
(U, 1942) Musical starring Bing Crosby (b/w)
11.55 NFL This Week Action from
the 16th round of ?xtures
12.45am Britpop at the BBC 1.45 Blur at Glastonbury
(r) 2.45 Sign Zone: Joanna & Jennifer ? Absolutely
Champers (r) (AD, SL) 3.45-5.25 FILM: Bill (PG, 2015)
William Shakespeare leaves his family to pursue his
dreams, but gets caught up in a plot to blow up the queen.
Historical comedy starring Mathew Baynton (AD, SL)
10.00 First Dates at Christmas The
restaurant hosts a festive party as
maitre d? Fred and his Christmas Cupids
celebrate a year that has seen
proposals, engagement rings and the
show?s very ?rst baby (r) (AD)
12.00 Blind Date Christmas Special A festive edition
of the matchmaking show with Paul O?Grady (r) 1.00am
SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming 3.05 Love/Hate.
John Boy orders Tommy to kill Fran (r) 4.00 Cruising with
Jane McDonald (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10
House Busters (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday December 27 2017
9
1G T
television & radio
Six Robots & Us
BBC Two, 8pm
In an innovative
two-part documentary,
six British families
welcome six robots into
their homes to see if
the latest AI technology
is a help or a hindrance
to their lives. In the
first episode we meet
Fitbot, who has been
programmed to help a
Plymouth family to get
in shape; Tutorbot, who
is helping to develop
the speech of a fiveyear-old with learning
difficulties; and Beam,
who is enabling a dad
working in Spain to
stay connected to his
UK-dwelling family.
The robotics expert
Jonathan Rossiter
and the psychologist
Dr Caroline Jay
monitor the experiment
as it unfolds.
Alan Partridge:
Why, When, Where,
How and Whom?
BBC Two, 9pm
Alan Partridge started
life as an inept sports
broadcaster on Radio 4
a quarter of a century
ago. To mark this
milestone, Steve Coogan
and the team of writers
and producers who
created Partridge
(including Armando
Iannucci) look at
how the character
has evolved from a
broadcasting caricature
to a nuanced study of
a certain kind of Little
Englander. Coogan?s
performance is so
effortless that the
character has assumed
a life of its own, and a
wealth of never-beforeseen archive footage
will shine a light how
he came to be.
Miranda Does
Christmas
Channel 4, 9pm
Miranda Hart has
teased fans with a
possible new series
of her hugely popular
BBC sitcom after
rumours of a meeting
with her co-star Tom
Ellis. Until then she
continues to spread
her wings and here
she is on Channel 4
presenting an
entertainment special
with a festive theme.
As well as hitting the
streets of Britain to
spread joy (and chaos)
among shoppers, Hart
will be rewarding the
good deeds of members
of the audience. Guests
include Sam Smith
and David Tennant,
while a gospel choir
perform a unique
Christmas mash-up.
Sport Choice
Sky Main Event, 7.30pm
The last time Newcastle
United and Manchester
City met was in the
League Cup in October
2014. The Magpies
won that match at the
Etihad Stadium 2-0 ?
what odds that history
will be repeating itself
as the sides clash at
St James? Park tonight
(kick-off 8pm)?
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Futurama (r) (AD) 7.30 The Simpsons
(r) 9.30 Modern Family (r) 11.00 David
Attenborough?s Galapagos (r) (AD) 12.00
Hawaii Five-0 (r) 1.00pm Moon?eet (r) (AD)
3.00 Modern Family (r) 4.30 Futurama (r) 5.30
The Simpsons. Homer invents a new drink (r)
6.00 The Simpsons. Back-to-back episodes (r)
8.00 A League of Their Own. With Dele Alli,
Stephen Mangan and Rob Beckett joining
regulars Jamie Redknapp, Andrew Flintoff and
Jack Whitehall and host James Corden (r) (AD)
9.00 The Late Late Show with James Corden.
All the year?s best moments (r)
10.00 Football?s Funniest Moments.
Comical incidents from the world of football,
including Rod Stewart?s memorable involvement
in the Scottish Cup draw and a look at
Chris Kamara?s reporting style (r)
12.00 A League of Their Own: US Road Trip 2.0
(r) (AD) 1.00am The Russell Howard Hour (r)
2.00 A League of Their Own (r) (AD) 3.00 NCIS:
Los Angeles (r) 4.00 Zoo Tales (r) (AD)
6.00am The British (r) (AD) 10.00 The Words
That Built America (r) (AD) 11.00 Blue Bloods.
Back-to-back editions of the drama (r) (AD)
6.00pm David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies. Insects capable of ?ight (r) (AD)
7.00 David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies. Creatures that glide (r) (AD)
8.00 David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies. The broadcaster turns his attention to
creatures that dominate today?s skies (r) (AD)
9.00 Game of Thrones. Tywin counsels the king,
Daenerys exchanges gifts with a slave lord
outside Yunkai, Melisandre reveals a secret,
and Brienne faces a formidable foe (r) (AD)
10.15 Game of Thrones. Davos demands to see
proof of Melisandre?s power, and there is
a wedding in King?s Landing (r) (AD)
11.25 Game of Thrones. Lord Walder Frey plays
host to a long-awaited wedding (r) (AD)
12.30am Big Little Lies (r) (AD) 2.25 The
Sopranos (r) (AD) 3.30 The Tunnel: Vengeance
(r) 4.25 Richard E Grant?s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese:
A Year to Save My Life USA (r) 8.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r)
11.00 Motorway Patrol (r) 12.00 UK Border
Force (r) 1.00pm Stop, Search, Seize (r) (AD)
2.00 Nothing to Declare (r) 4.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 5.00 Criminal Minds (r)
6.00 Criminal Minds (r)
7.00 Children?s Hospital (r) (AD)
7.30 Children?s Hospital (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary. Determined to catch Kitty?s
tormentor, Holmes and Watson turn to cold
cases to catch Kitty?s tormentor (2/2) (r) (AD)
9.00 Grey?s Anatomy. A hacker compromises
the hospital?s computer system
10.00 Scandal. Shocking revelations and
jaw-dropping events leave everyone reeling
11.00 Criminal Minds. The team searches
for a serial killer in Portland, Oregon
12.00 Criminal Minds 2.00am Elementary (r)
(AD) 3.00 Criminal Minds (r) 4.00 Bones
(r) (AD) 5.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
6.00am Disney?s Broadway Hits 8.05 Portrait
Artist of the Year 2017 9.05 The Mikado 11.30
Hugh Jackman: Movie Musical Greats 1.00pm
Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.00 Elvis Presley:
A Legend in Concert 3.00 Discovering: John
Wayne (AD) 4.00 The Sixties (AD) 5.00 The
Seventies. The evolution of terrorism (AD)
6.00 The Eighties. Economic growth (AD)
7.00 Tales of the Unexpected (AD)
7.30 Agatha Christie vs Hercule Poirot.
Pierre Bayard deconstructs The Murder
of Roger Ackroyd. See Viewing Guide
8.45 Williams and Spielberg: The
Adventure Continues. Documentary
9.15 Spielberg. A look at the career of
the ?lm director Steven Spielberg (AD)
12.00 Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and
Debbie Reynolds (AD) 1.45am The History of
Comedy (AD) 2.45 Tony Palmer?s The World of
Hugh Hefner 3.45 Williams and Spielberg: The
Adventure Continues 4.15 A John Williams
Celebration: LA Opening Gala 2014
6.00am Total Goals 9.00 Good Morning Sports
Fans 10.00 Premier League Daily 11.00
Christmas Transfer Centre 11.30 Sky Sports
Daily 12.00 Sky Sports News 12.30pm Live
World Darts Championship. Coverage of the
afternoon session on day 11 of the PDC event
at the Alexandra Palace in London, featuring
three second-round clashes 4.30 Sky Sports
News 5.00 Sky Sports News at 5
6.00 Sky Sports News at 6. News and updates
7.00 Sky Sports Tonight. Leading sports stories
7.30 Live Premier League: Newcastle United v
Manchester City (Kick-off 8.00). Coverage of the
encounter at St James? Park, as City continue
their quest for the title. See Viewing Guide
10.00 Live World Darts Championship. Coverage
of the evening session on day 11 of the PDC
event at the Alexandra Palace in London,
featuring the ?nal two second-round clashes
and the opening third-round match
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00 Sky Sports News
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.30pm To Be Frank
Carson. Dan Gordon explores the story of the
comedian Frank Carson 11.30 Mrs Brown?s
Boys Christmas Special. Cathy has an internet
date, and Rory decides to have plastic surgery
(r) 12.00 Not Going Out Christmas Special.
Lee faces a desperate search for a Christmas
present (r) 12.40am Comic Relief 2017:
?Twas the Thanks After Red Nose Day.
A look back at the 2017 Comic Relief
fundraising event 1.40-6.00 BBC News
DIGITAL RADIO ? APP ? VIRGINRADIO.CO.UK
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Sound of Musicals with Neil Brand.
The presenter explores how a new generation
of composers transformed musical theatre by
embracing more gritty, challenging subjects (r)
8.00 Royal Institution Christmas Lectures 2017:
The Language of Life. Exploring the world of
silent communication in both the animal
kingdom and the human world, investigating
why body language and smells can say so much
9.00 Turtle, Eagle, Cheetah: A Slow Odyssey.
Cameras capture the natural world through the
perspectives of a cheetah, a turtle and an eagle,
revealing their daily routines and the places
hat they call home. See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.30 Concorde: A Supersonic Story. The life of
the most glamorous plane ever built, as told
by the people whose lives it touched (r)
11.30 Timeshift: Bridging the Gap ? How the
Severn Bridge Was Built. Liz Bonnin explores the
Severn Bridge?s construction (1/5) (r) (AD)
12.30am Engineering Giants: Ferry Strip-Down.
Last in the series (r) (AD) 1.30 Turtle, Eagle,
Cheetah: A Slow Odyssey. Documentary (r)
(AD) 3.00-4.00 Royal Institution Christmas
Lectures 2017: The Language of Life (r)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 New Girl (r)
(AD) 8.00 Rude(ish) Tube Shorts (r) 8.10
FILM: A Monster in Paris (U, 2011)
Animation 10.00 FILM: Space Chimps 2 ?
Zartog Strikes Back (U, 2010) Animated
sci-? comedy sequel 11.35 Ice Age: A Mammoth
Christmas (r) (AD) 12.00 FILM: Toy Story OF
TERROR! (U, TVM, 2013) Animated
Hallowe?en special (AD) 12.30pm FILM: Toy
Story That Time Forgot (U, TVM, 2014)
Short animated comedy with the voices of Tom
Hanks and Tim Allen (AD) 1.00 The Big Bang
Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (r)
(AD) 3.00 The Big Bang Theory: Big Bang A-Z
(r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Joel con?des in Sienna (AD)
7.30 FILM: I, Robot (12, 2004) Sci-? thriller
starring Will Smith and Alan Tudyk (AD)
9.40 8 Out of 10 Cats: More Best Bits
10.30 Naked Attraction (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 12.35am
Gogglebox (r) (AD) 1.45 Rude Tube: Welcome to
2016 (r) 3.40 The Inbetweeners (r) (AD, SL)
4.05 Rude(ish) Tube (r) 4.30 New Girl (r) (AD)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r)
10.00 FILM: Carry On Jack (PG, 1963)
Comedy starring Bernard Cribbins and Juliet
Mills 11.50 A Place in the Sun (r) 12.20pm
A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r) 1.25
Four in a Bed (r) 4.05 Come Dine with Me (r)
6.20 Come Dine with Me. A hairdresser
hosts the ?nal party in Hertfordshire (r)
6.55 The World?s Most Expensive Christmas.
Documentary following suppliers who provide
a bespoke service to the super-rich (r) (AD)
8.00 Guy Martin?s WWI Tank. The presenter
builds a working replica of a First World War
tank to mark the centenary of the Battle of
Cambrai, and also delves into the history
of the earliest armoured vehicles (r)
10.00 Guy Martin: Last Flight of the Vulcan
Bomber. The mechanic explores the last
functioning Vulcan bomber (r) (AD)
11.35 24 Hours in A&E. Patients include a
stabbing victim and an elderly woman
who was injured in a fall (r) (AD)
12.45am 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown (r)
1.40 Ramsay?s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
2.40-3.40 Best Laid Plans (r) (AD)
11.00am ParaNorman (PG, 2012) Animated
adventure with the voice of Kodi Smit-McPhee
12.50pm Ice Age: Continental Drift (U,
2012) Animated comedy sequel with the voice
of Ray Romano 2.30 Casper (PG, 1995)
Supernatural family comedy starring Christina
Ricci 4.35 Scrooged (PG, 1988) Christmas
comedy with Bill Murray and Karen Allen (AD)
6.45 Super 8 (12, 2011) A group of children
witnesses a train crash and discovers an alien
creature has escaped from the wreckage. Sci-?
thriller with Joel Courtney and Elle Fanning (AD)
9.00 Iron Man 2 (12, 2010) The superhero
battles a vengeful new foe, but ?nds the armour
he created to ?ght evil is slowly killing him.
Adventure sequel with Robert Downey Jr (AD)
11.25 Colombiana (15, 2011) An orphan
grows up to be an assassin while secretly
plotting revenge on the gangsters who murdered
her parents. Action thriller starring Zoe Saldana,
Cliff Curtis and Michael Vartan
1.35am-3.45 Chevalier (18, 2016) Six men
on a luxury yacht decide to play a game, with the
winner being awarded a Chevalier signet ring.
Greek comedy starring Yiorgos Kendros
6.00am Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records (r) 6.50 Mr Bean (r) (AD) 7.45 Britain?s
Got Talent: Our Top Ten Ant & Dec Moments (r)
8.35 Planet?s Got Talent (r) 9.05 Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 9.35 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 10.45
FILM: Planet 51 (U, 2009) Animated sci-?
comedy 12.30pm Catchphrase: Celebrity Special
(r) 1.35 Emmerdale (r) (AD) 2.00 Coronation
Street (r) (AD) 3.05 FILM: Beethoven (U,
1992) Canine comedy starring Charles Grodin
(AD) 4.50 FILM: Mr Magorium?s Wonder
Emporium (U, 2007) Fantasy comedy starring
Dustin Hoffman and Natalie Portman (AD)
6.45 FILM: Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory (PG, 2005) Children?s fantasy starring
Johnny Depp and Freddie Highmore (AD)
9.00 FILM: White House Down (12, 2013)
Action thriller with Channing Tatum
11.40 Family Guy. Four editions (r) (AD)
1.30am American Dad! (r) (AD) 2.30 The Keith
Lemon Sketch Show (r) 2.55 Through the
Keyhole (r) 3.45 Viral Tap (r) 4.20 Educating
Joey Essex: Space Cadet (r) 5.10 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records (r) 5.50 Jonas Blue:
The Hot Desk (r) 5.55 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Jane Eyre (r) (AD) 7.55 Agatha
Christie?s Marple (r) (AD) 10.00 Goodnight
Mister Tom (r) (AD) 12.05pm Agatha Christie?s
Marple (r) 2.15 FILM: Carry On Up the
Jungle (PG, 1970) Comedy starring Sid James
4.10 FILM: Carry On Dick (PG, 1974)
Comedy with Sid James and Kenneth Williams
6.00 Agatha Christie?s Marple (r) (AD)
8.00 Endeavour. The leader of a censorship
campaign comes to Oxford on a speaking tour,
and Morse is charged with protecting her in light
of a series of death threats. A bricklayer working
on a controversial pop singer?s house is later
found dead, and when a second killing occurs, a
connection emerges to the speaker?s movement,
plunging Morse into the middle of a con?ict over
the nature of British culture (2/4) (r) (AD)
10.00 Lewis. The death of an Oxford don leads
to the shady underworld of unlicensed boxing,
and further investigations reveal connections
to the former East Germany (2/4) (r) (AD)
12.00 The Booze Cruise III (r) (AD) 2.00am
Goodnight Mister Tom (r) (AD) 3.40 Jane Eyre
(r) (AD, SL) 5.35 George and Mildred (r) (SL)
6.00am Football?s Greatest: Johan Cruyff (r)
6.15 The Chase (r) 7.00 The Protectors (r) 7.25
The Saint (r) 8.30 The Professionals (r) (AD)
9.35 Ironside (r) 10.35 Quincy ME (r) 11.40
Minder (r) (AD) 12.45pm ITV Racing Live: From
Kempton and Chepstow. Coverage of today?s race
meetings from Kempton Park and Chepstow
3.30 FILM: Aces High (PG, 1976) First World
War drama starring Malcolm McDowell (AD)
5.45 Storage Wars: Texas (r)
6.10 Cash Cowboys (r)
7.05 Pawn Stars. Double bill (r)
8.00 The Chase: The Bloopers. Outtakes (r)
9.00 Al Murray?s Make Christmas Great Again.
A lively mix of music and chat (r)
10.05 FILM: Jaws (PG, 1975) A seaside
town?s police chief has to deal with a giant killer
shark preying on tourists. Steven Spielberg?s
thriller starring Roy Scheider (AD)
12.35am FILM: Jaws 2 (PG, 1978) Thriller
sequel with Roy Scheider (AD) 3.00 Bear Grylls:
Mission Survive (r) 3.50 ITV4 Nightscreen
3.55 Ax Men (r) 4.40 The Professionals
(r) (AD, SL) 5.30 Minder (r) (AD, SL)
6.00am Home Shopping 7.05 Cops UK:
Bodycam Squad 8.00 Motorway Cops 9.00
Dynamo: Magician Impossible (AD) 10.00 Red
Bull Soapbox Race 11.00 Celebrity Storage
Hunters 12.00 Storage Hunters UK 4.00pm Top
Gear. Double bill of the motoring magazine (AD)
6.00 Red Bull Soapbox Race. Coverage of the
offbeat event in the Chilean capital
7.00 Motorway Cops. Traf?c police enforce the
law on Britain?s most dangerous highways
8.00 QI XL. Extended episode, with Jo Brand,
Clive Anderson and Jimmy Carr
9.00 Dynamo: Magician Impossible.
The illusionist goes to South Africa (AD)
10.00 Would I Lie to You? The Unseen Bits.
Extra material from the panel show
10.40 Would I Lie to You? With Larry Lamb,
Carol Vorderman, Jo Brand and Russell Howard
11.20 Would I Lie to You? Guests include Fern
Britton, Stephen Mangan and Ken Livingstone
12.00 Have I Got a Bit More Old News for You
1.00am QI XL 2.00 Would I Lie to You? The
Unseen Bits 2.40 Would I Lie to You? 3.15
Parks and Recreation 4.00 Home Shopping
7.25am Call the Midwife (AD) 10.00 The Bill
12.00 Catherine Cookson?s The Girl 3.00pm Call
the Midwife (AD) 5.40 One Foot in the Grave
6.30 One Foot in the Grave. Christmas special
from 1995. The Meldrews? wedding anniversary
celebrations turn sour as they learn cousin
Ursula has died while watching Noel Edmonds
8.00 Death in Paradise. Humphrey and the team
investigate the shooting of Fidel?s old friend,
who had been working as an escort and had left
several disgruntled women in his wake, including
a judge and the wife of a club owner (3/8) (AD)
9.20 Death in Paradise. Humphrey and his team
are called to a hotel where an air stewardess has
been poisoned, but with so many suspects and
so little to go on, Dwayne goes rogue to
pursue his own line of inquiry (4/8) (AD)
10.40 New Tricks. A 79-year-old woman with
dementia runs away from her care home and
turns up at a police station to report a murder,
sparking a reinvestigation into the 1956
disappearance of her husband (4/10) (AD)
12.00 Taggart. A loan shark is murdered
2.50am The Bill 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Frozen Planet (AD) 7.10 Great Barrier
Reef with David Attenborough 8.00 The Blue
Planet (AD) 9.00 Planet Earth (AD) 11.00 Great
Barrier Reef with David Attenborough 12.00
Frozen Planet (AD) 1.00pm The Blue Planet
(AD) 2.00 Planet Earth (AD) 4.00 Great Barrier
Reef with David Attenborough 5.00 Frozen
Planet. A polar bear hunts with her cubs (AD)
6.00 The Blue Planet. Predators and prey in
the open oceans come under scrutiny (AD)
7.00 Planet Earth. David Attenborough
takes a look at the world?s caves (AD)
8.00 Planet Earth. Animals that survive
on the world?s highest peaks (AD)
9.00 Mike Hawthorn: On the Limit. Pro?le of
Britain?s ?rst Formula 1 champion, examining
his ?amboyant driving and public pro?le (AD)
10.00 John Surtees: One of a Kind.
The life of the motor sport icon (AD)
11.00 Graham Hill: Driven. An intimate portrait
of motor racing star Graham Hill (AD)
12.20am Jim Clark: The Quiet Champion
(AD) 1.40 Murder Maps 2.30 The Secret
Life of the Borgias 3.00 Home Shopping
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 7.30pm-8.00 Eddie
Butler?s Sport Review 2017. The presenter
looks back on the sporting moments of the
year, meeting the stars who put Wales on the
map over the past 12 months 10.30 A Question
of Sport: Premier League Special. With Dion
Dublin, Graeme Le Saux, Darren Bent and Alex
Scott 11.00 Mrs Brown?s Boys Christmas
Special. Cathy has an internet date, and Rory
decides to have plastic surgery (r) 11.30 Not
Going Out Christmas Special. Lee faces a
desperate search for a Christmas present (r)
12.10am Comic Relief 2017: ?Twas the Thanks
After Red Nose Day. A look back at the 2017
Comic Relief fundraising event 1.10 Weather
for the Week Ahead 1.15-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 6.00pm Dad?s Army.
The vicar holds a fundraising bazaar (r) 6.30
Christmas University Challenge 2017. Teams
from the University of York and University of
Southampton compete 7.00-8.00 Roads Less
Travelled. Cameron McNeish travels through
some of Scotland?s most impressive wild places
STV
As ITV except: 12.55am Teleshopping 1.55
After Midnight. News and conversation 2.55
Storage Hoarders. A man who hoards historical
heirlooms (r) 3.45 May the Best House Win.
Homeowners in Lancashire compete (r) 4.35
ITV Nightscreen. Text-based information
service 5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
UTV
As ITV except: 12.55am Teleshopping
1.55-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Spaidhc is am Poca-Puist (Spike) (r)
5.35 FILM: Run-diomhair Cheanannais (The
Secret of Kells) (2009) Animated adventure
6.55 Binneas: Hogmanay 7.00 An L� (News)
7.05 Oir a? Chuain Shiair (Facing the Atlantic)
(r) 8.00 Thuige Seo 8.30 Ceathrar air a?
Chuiltheann (Four on the Cuillin) 9.00 An Dara
Teud: Na Trads 2017 9.55-12.00midnight
Scottish Premiership Football
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Yr Ysgol (r) 6.15 Chwedlau Tinga
Tinga (r) 6.25 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 6.40
Sam T鈔 (r) 6.50 Nico N鬵 7.00 Deian a Loli a?r
Peiriant Amser 7.35 Patr鬺 Pawennau 8.00
Octonots (r) 8.25 Ty Mel (r) 8.35 Y Dywysoges
Fach (r) 8.45 Guto Gwningen (r) 9.00 Dona
Direidi: Be Wnei Di? 9.50 Abadas (r) 10.00 Yr
Ysgol (r) 10.15 Chwedlau Tinga Tinga (r)
10.25 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 10.40 Sam
T鈔 (r) 10.50 Nico N鬵 (r) 11.00 Deian a Loli
a?r Hosan Goll (r) 11.15 Olobobs (r) 11.20
Digbi Draig (r) 11.35 Gwdihw (r) 11.50
Mwnci?n Dweud Mwnci?n Gwneud (r) 12.00
News S4C a?r Tywydd 12.05pm Crwydro (r)
12.30 Priodas Pum Mil (r) 1.30 Cerys
Matthews a?r Goeden Faled (r) 2.00 Panto
Shane a?r Belen Aur (r) 3.30 Margaret: Ddoe a
Heddiw (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh:
Fideo Fi Nadolig 5.05 Y Dyfnfor 5.25 Larfa (r)
5.30 Uchafbwyntiau Pigo Dy Drwyn 6.00
News S4C a?r Tywydd 6.05 SuperTed A Sion
Corn (r) 6.15 SuperTed Yng Ngwlad Yr Ia (r)
6.25 Deian a Loli a?r Peiriant Amser (r) 7.00
Hen Blant Bach. Children and old people in
Bangor spend time together at Christmas (r)
(AD) 8.00 Pobol y Cwm. One family tries to
come to terms with what happened on
Christmas Day (AD) 8.25 Cefn Gwlad: C魊
Meibion Machynlleth. Dai Jones joins the
Machynlleth Male Voice Choir (AD) 9.30 Elfyn
Evans: Tu 詌 I?r Olwyn. Pro?le of the rally driver
10.30-11.35 Sopranos: Nadolig. Performances
by some of the world?s leading sopranos (r)
10
1G T
Wednesday December 27 2017 | the times
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7533
3
4
5
6
7
15
17
5
1
4
20
24
2
23
U
25
8
9
1
17
24
24
11
10
11
12
14
15
2
19
18
19
16
12
23
2
4
21
26
4
15
1
24
24
1
15
25
25
2
10
20
24
1
10
1
13
1
10
24
13
17
5
1
1
1
22
17
6
8
24
Solution to Crossword 7532
UN
A
L I
R
OO
B
L I
PH
I
I
D I J
O A
L I B
CH B A
A O
T I S T
R A
K Y NE
Y
GH T
S
O M
Y S I O
A D
ON
I N
N F
RARY
N
A
S
C
E
N
T
ANA S
A A
E V ER
A
I
D L E
A
A I RS
N B
R I F L E
E E S
HER I T
A N O
BOOK S
4
3
5
6
3
3
14
2
8
8
17
20
20
3
7
A
21
17
6
3
25
14
20
3
24
17
16
13
15
25
7
6
25
24
13
15
17
15
20
13
25
1
1
24
13
6
1
17
8
B
19
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
25
1 Refuses to allow (6)
5 Represent in drawing or
painting (6)
8 Reverberation (4)
9 Bark used as spice (8)
10 Curved shape (8)
12 Achieved without effort (4)
13 Geological layers (6)
1
24
19
3
1
Across
4
10
23
6
B
R
E
A
K
O
F
F
10
25
20
22
24
26
20
21
21
19
22
26
13
9
17
17
20
1
13
13
23
F
15 Hazy with pollution (6)
17 Public protest (4)
19 Giving way (8)
21 Bitter verbal attack (8)
23 Once more, again (4)
24 Plant with edible stems (6)
25 With long thick hair (6)
Down
2 Short extract (7)
3 Woodwind instruments (5)
4 Office assistant (9)
5 Animal's lair (3)
6 Inactive medicine (7)
7 Traverse (5)
11 Lacking flavour (9)
14 Follower of Christ (7)
16 Medicinal tuber (7)
18 Superior group (5)
20 Play (5)
22 Climbing plant (3)
1
8
20
7
25
1
24
20
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
14
15
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
U
F
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday?s solution, right
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company?s network access
charge. Texts cost �plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company?s network access
charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Lexica
No 4065
A
No 4066
U
E
R
E
P
Need help with today?s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company?s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
18
E
A
U
V
E
O
B
O
I
E
T
Y
R
D
F
C
D
R
S
H
E
Z
N
R
O
S
R
A
A
K
L
W
V
G
M
Y
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4209
Futoshiki No 3073
� 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line ?block?, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
?
?
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
84901 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
Calls cost �00 (ROI ?1.50) plus your telephone company?s
network access charge. Texts cost �plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Kakuro No 2032
< 3
?
What are your favourite
puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
7
24
23
12
35
20
24
32
2
<
?
14
17
19
28
29
3
>
?
20
13
39
13
23
16
4
17
35
20
13
30
6
3
16
34
7
14
29
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
7
36
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
19
20
17
23
24
20
16
31
24
� PUZZLER MEDIA
2
Train Tracks No 291
� PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3217
the times | Wednesday December 27 2017
11
1G T
MindGames
White: Alexander McDonnell
Black: Louis-Charles Mah� de La
Bourdonnais
London (Game 16) 1834
Sicilian Defence
1 e4 c5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 d4 cxd4 4
Nxd4 e5 5 Nxc6
Nowadays 5 Nb5, planning to
exploit the d5-square, is known to
be best. However, 5 Nxc6 is perhaps better than its reputation. In
pre-Steinitzian
times
players
aimed for rapid development and
an attack and did not pay attention to such positional nuances as
the weakness of the d5-square.
________
� D g Dri]
郉 DPD 0p]
� D D D D]
�D D D ]
� D D D D]
蹹 ! D D ]
跴) 0p0P)]
贒 DRD DK]
谅媚牌侨
Philidor would certainly have
been delighted by such a fantastic
pawn surge. This inimitable finish
is one of the most remarkable
positions to have occurred in the
19th century.
________
醨DrD DkD] Winning Move
�Db0pgp]
� 0 D hpD] Black to play. This position is a variation
Carlsen-Adams, London 2017.
轉 0 D D ] from
Although he lost this game, Michael
� D Dp) H] Adams deserves credit for taking the fight
蹾 )qD ) ] to the world champion with an imaginative
跴) D DB)] piece sacrifice early on. The puzzle shows
�$ G DRI ] what might have happened if Carlsen had
谅媚牌侨 gone wrong. How can Black win?
42 + 13 x 2 ? 12
EASY
85 x 4 + 44
MEDIUM
HARDER
38 - Thinking both Shape and Points
The two key components of the
hidden hands are their shapes and
the number of points. If an opponent has, for example, bid two suits,
then thinking ?shape? is likely to be
a more productive avenue (you
already know nine of his cards). If
instead he opened 1NT, you?d tend
to think along high-card point lines
(he has between 12 and 14). Ideally,
though, you think both shape and
points. Sometimes the two work
together in elegant tandem.
Try this 3NT on the bidding
below after West?s ?Q lead:
? K 10 4 2
?A J
?K 10 8 2
?862
? AQ 7
?10 9 7
?A J 9 4
? 10 4 3
S
W
N
E
1?
Pass
Pass
1NT(1) Pass
3NT(2) End
(1) 11-16 in protective seat.
(2) Marginal but likes West being sandwiched.
East plays an encouraging ?9
on West?s ?Q lead, West
continuing with ?7 at trick two,
East winning ?K and returning
?5 to West?s ?J. At trick four, West
cashes ?A, dummy throwing ?J,
East and you also letting go hearts.
At trick five, West switches to ?K,
you winning dummy?s (bare) ?A.
You need four tricks from both
spades and diamonds. In diamonds,
you have a choice, missing the
dreaded ?Q; in spades you know
OF IT
?A J
?K 10 8 2
?J 9 5 3
?KQ
?Q 6 5
?AQ J 7
?862
N
W
E
S
? AQ 7
?8 6
?8 6 5 4 3 2
?7 3
?K 9 5
?10 9 7
?A J 9 4
? 10 4 3
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
+ 98
? 14
1/2
OF IT
90%
OF IT
1
+ 6 +OF/5IT
20% SQUARE
OF IT
IT
+ 89
? 873
90%
OF IT
? 88 x 5
80%
OF IT
+ 488
70%
OF IT
10 4
5
4
2
2
4
2
2 2
4
6
Polygon
2
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Set Square No 2035
From these letters, make words of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 11 words, average;
15, good; 19, very good; 23, excellent
x
5
x
-
3
+
�
x
�
+
Yesterday?s answers
acyl, ail, ani, any, can, cay, clan, clay,
cyan, cyanic, cynical, inlay, lac, lacy,
laic, lay, linac, nail, nay
+
+
+
-
=
69
=
11
=
11
All the digits
= 42 from 1-9 are
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
= 14 positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
We?ve
= 2 works?
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Killer Tricky No 5788
15
18
20
13
6
27
11
3
17
23
12
17
21
26
17
Solutions
Codeword 3216
Kakuro 2031
19
11
11
15min
21
11
3 1 2
1 2 4
3 5
9
7 9
9 5 2
3 1
3 1
1 4 3
4 2 1
9
1
4
2
7
8
3
5
6
5
14
11
29
7
7
2
3
5
1
6
9
4
8
6
8
5
4
3
9
1
2
7
4
5
6
7
8
3
2
9
1
9
3 1 2
8 9 1 6 4
6 7
3 1
1 2
2
3 4 2
1 6
8 6
7 9 3
7 9 3 8 1 6
9 6 8
7 9 1
8 9
9 8 6
Killer Deadly No 5789
10
41
55min
29
21
27
16
12
12
20
7
1
8
5
6
2
3
9
4
6
2
3
4
8
9
1
5
7
3
7
9
6
1
5
2
4
8
1
7
2
9
4
5
8
6
3
5
3
9
1
6
4
7
8
2
2
4
1
8
5
7
6
3
9
8
6
7
3
9
2
4
1
5
1
8
6
2
4
7
5
3
9
2
5
4
8
9
3
7
1
6
4
6
1
3
7
8
9
2
5
8
9
2
1
5
6
4
7
3
5
3
7
9
2
4
6
8
1
20
10
3
10
11
16
4
5
8
1
6
7
3
2
9
5
6
7
3
1
2
4
9
8
7
2
9
1
3
6
8
4
5
5
4
8
9
7
2
6
3
1
3
6
1
5
4
8
7
9
2
9
3
6
4
8
1
5
2
7
3
8
17
22
2
5 3
3 3
2
3
4
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
4
2
1
4
8
9
6
7
5
3
6
7
3
9
2
1
5
8
4
1
8
2
7
4
5
9
3
6
9
4
5
6
8
3
1
7
2
1
8
7
2
5
9
4
6
3
4
5
2
3
6
7
9
1
8
2
9
5
7
1
4
3
8
6
6
7
4
8
2
3
1
5
9
8
1
3
6
9
5
2
7
4
2
5
5 > 4
5
1
2
4 > 3
3
4 < 5
2 > 1
x
6
2
4
3
+
x
x
-
5
7
8
1
+
-
x
4
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4
L
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Suko 2118
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Lexica 4064
1
1 < 2 < 4
5
5
Lexica 4063
Set Square 2034
3 5
1
Y
Sudoku 9550
8
3
9
5
7
4
2
6
1
Futoshiki 3072
KenKen 4208
Cell Blocks 3099
6
3
9
1
2
5
8
6
4
7
Killer 5787
37
29
7
2
6
4
3
9
8
1
5
4 < 5 > 3
?
?
2 < 3
1
28
A
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MA I N L
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Sudoku 9549
3
9
8
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Killer 5786
9
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1
8
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2
Train Tracks 290
R W B
Z E P H Y R
S
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T E RM WA
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OV E R P RO
E
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AN T I Q
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J O Y S T I C
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7
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Sudoku 9548
20
you?ll have four tricks because West
has advertised (at least) four cards
(he opened 1?), so you?ll be able to
use ?K10 finesse position. You cash
?AQ, both opponents following
low, then lead ?7 to (?9 and) ?10
and cash ?K (felling ?J), East
throwing low hearts.
It?s time to tackle diamonds. Who
do you think has ?Q ? and why?
It is too simplistic to say ?West
opened the bidding, therefore he
has ?Q?, for he has already
advertised ?J, ?KQ and ?AQJ.
He?d open with or without ?Q.
However, and this is the key
point, West wouldn?t necessarily
have opened 1?. The play has
indicated he has a balanced shape:
4?-4?-(3-2). If he does not have
?Q, he would have a balanced 13count and would have opened
1NT, not 1?. He must have ?Q.
You cross to ?A and run ?J,
picking up his ?Q. Game made.
Note if East-West are playing a
Strong Notrump (15-17), West
could not have ?Q ? or he would
have opened 1NT. If declarer asks
a defender midway through a
hand, ?What Notrump are you
playing??, you know he?s a good
player, going through these reconstruction processes.
? K 10 4 2
OF IT
108 x 6 + 876 x 3 + 998
Bridge Andrew Robson
Counting and Card Placement
7/12
1/2
� PUZZLER MEDIA
Starting today, I celebrate the
welcome news that London will,
next November, host Magnus
Carlsen?s world title defence
against an opponent yet to be
determined. The qualifying bout
to decide the challenger will take
place in Berlin next spring.
My celebration will take the
form of a tour d?horizon of great
chess events from London, many
of them either de facto or de jure
contests for the world title, or the
equivalent accolade of the time. I
commence with a brilliant game
from a mammoth series of matches fought out in 1834, in many
ways the template for modern
world title competitions. Throughout this series I have based some
comments on the superlative My
Great Predecessors series by Garry
Kasparov (Everyman Chess), a
monumental contribution to world
chess literature and a prime gift
recommendation for any chess
enthusiast.
5 ... bxc6 6 Bc4 Nf6 7 Bg5 Be7 8
Qe2 d5 9 Bxf6 Bxf6 10 Bb3 0-0
11 0-0 a5 12 exd5 cxd5 13 Rd1 d4
14 c4
This is already the decisive
mistake. It is wrong to allow the
black pawns to become passed, as
it is not possible to blockade them
on the light squares. After 14 Nd2
a4 15 Bc4 a3 16 b3 Bb7, White
would have stood slightly worse.
14 ... Qb6 15 Bc2 Bb7 16 Nd2
Rae8 17 Ne4 Bd8 18 c5 Qc6 19 f3
Be7 20 Rac1 f5
The beginning of the end. The
bishops are firing and the pawns
break through in the centre.
21 Qc4+ Kh8 22 Ba4 Qh6 23
Bxe8 fxe4
The mighty avalanche of passed
pawns sweeps away everything in
its path.
24 c6 exf3 25 Rc2 Qe3+ 26 Kh1
Bc8 27 Bd7 f2 28 Rf1 d3 29 Rc3
Bxd7 30 cxd7 e4 31 Qc8 Bd8 32
Qc4 Qe1 33 Rc1 d2 34 Qc5 Rg8
35 Rd1 e3 36 Qc3 Qxd1 37 Rxd1
e2 White resigns
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
London summits
Cell Blocks No 3100
Brain Trainer
� PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
9
+
�
2
Quiz 1 Clairvoyant and astrologer 2 Acts of the
Apostles 3 Brazil 4 Heinz Wolff 5 Tim Vine
6 Drowning Girl 7 Mahershala Ali 8 Cinema
Paradiso 9 Roald Dahl 10 Pegasus 11 The Bridge
of Sighs 12 Karl Jaspers 13 Slim Pickens 14 Kent
and Essex 15 Imperial War Museum, London
F
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A
W
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R
E
M
B
D
O
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K
C
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T
Word watch
Sonsy (b) Hearty or
cheerful (Scots)
Gauby (c) A traditional
fair held on the first
trading day after Christmas
Sonrock (a) A cosy seat
by the fire (Ireland)
Brain Trainer
Easy 66; Medium 685;
Harder 2,660
Chess 1 ... Rcb8! 2 Qc7
Ne8 traps the white queen
27.12.17
MindGames
Difficult No 9551
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
Sonsy
a Bloated
b Hearty
c Slightly drunk
Gauby
a Snoring
b Sequinned
c A fair
Sonrock
a A seat
b Frozen
c A cradle
Answers on page 15
Fiendish No 9552
1
9 3 4
2
8
2
7 5
4
6
8
3
8 5
1 8 5
9
5
9
6 7
3
2 5
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
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2
4
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6
7
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4
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1
to receive four clues for any of today?s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company?s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
5 In 2004, which
English comedian
performed a record 499
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
11 In which 1844 poem
about a suicide did
Thomas Hood write:
?Death has left on her/
Only the beautiful.??
1 The Englishman
Maurice Woodruff
(1916-73) achieved
fame as a what?
4 Which Germanborn scientist (19282017) was a presenter
on the TV show The
Great Egg Race?
12 Which psychiatrist
and philosopher
wrote the 1938 book
Philosophy of Existence?
15
jokes in one hour at
London?s Soho Theatre?
6 The thought bubble in
which Roy Lichtenstein
painting says: ?I don?t
care! I?d rather sink ?
than call Brad for help!??
7 Which actor released
the rap albums Corner
Ensemble and Curb
Side Service, under the
alias Prince Ali?
8 Philippe Noiret played
Alfredo the projectionist
in which 1988 Giuseppe
Tornatore film?
9 September 13 is the
day for the annual
celebration of which
British children?s author?
10 Which mythical
winged horse is the
emblem of the Italian
fashion house Etro?
13 What was the stage
name of the American
rodeo performer and
actor Louis Burton
Lindley Jr (1919-83)?
Yesterday?s
K
Quick
Cryptic
B E
A
solution
R I
No 991
14 Which two county
cricket clubs contest
the Battle of the
Bridge fixture?
15 Which London
museum is pictured?
Answers on page 11
The Times Quick Cryptic No 992
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Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
by Izetti
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3 Which Latin American
country is the world?s
largest producer of
sugarcane?
1
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
2 Chapter 12 of
which Biblical book
describes the rescue
of St Peter from
prison by an angel?
Super fiendish No 9553
2
3 6
9
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
Across
1 Place with a group of
detectives becomes calm (6)
5 Assign position in river (6)
8 Strange joke ? pitch that to
win a big prize (3,3,7)
9 Greek character some maybe
tamed (4)
10 Endless impertinence by group
showing enthusiasm (8)
11 Yell coming from son given
fatty food (6)
13 Certainly fashionable to have
legal document (6)
15 He?s a daft drunk and goofs (8)
17 Mathematical function is hit
(4)
19 Eccentric stranger in odd
arrangement for regular
payments (8,5)
21 Travel game is taking place in
Anglican church (6)
22 Regret being disabled, not
losing heart (6)
Down
2 Behold ?re beginning to be put
out ? there?s ?owing water
here (5)
3 Naughty tot kept in pen in
small house (7)
4 Fade away, allowance of food
and drink being cut (3)
5 Groups of parishes with
luvvies around the north-east
(9)
6 Card game that can get red
hot (5)
7 Beat counter to get change (7)
10 Aggressive commanding
of?cer and doctor show up (9)
12 Cathedral staff producing part
of a book (7)
14 Propriety requires new code ?
bottom less than totally visible!
(7)
16 Greeting with a number being
hugged in foreign capital (5)
18 Genius Albert, not a German
mug! (5)
20 Set member up (3)
4 5
6 9 7
7 5 9
1
3 4
5
4
6 3 8
9 4 7
3 2
5
y story of Nymph Errant
and the music of Anything Goes (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Ian Skelly presents highlights of the
Schubertiade, recorded at the Angelika
Kauffmann Saal, Schwarzenberg, last June.
Beethoven (Quartet in E minor, Op 59
No 2 ? Rasumovsky); and Schubert
(Fantasy in C, D760 ? Wandererfantasie)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Jonathan Swain presents a concert the BBC
Philharmonic gave on tour in Santander.
Beethoven (Overture ? Egmont, Op 84);
Rachmaninov (Rhapsody on a Theme of
Paganini for piano and orchestra, Op 43); and
Berlioz (Symphonie fantastique, Op 14)
Emily Watson plays the March family matriarch in Little Women
3.30 Choral Evensong
Recorded in St Gabriel?s Church, Pimlico,
London with the Rodolfus Choir. Introit:
Bethlehem Down (Warlock). Responses:
Piccolo. Psalm 97 (Gauntlett). First Lesson:
Isaiah 6 vv 1-8. Of?ce Hymn: Of the Father?s
Heart Begotten (Divinum mysterium).
Magni?cat quinti toni (Praetorius). Second
Lesson: 1 John 5 vv 1-12. Nunc dimittis tertii
toni (Victoria). Anthem: Mater ora ?lium
(Bax). Hymn: Unto Us Is Born a Son (Puer
nobis nascitur). Organ Voluntary: No雔
Parisien, Op 26 No 4 (Quef). Conductor:
Ralph Allwood. Organist: Tom Winpenny
4.30 New Generation Artists
The new generation artist Elena Urioste and
Beatrice Rana perform Beethoven (Violin
Sonata No 5 in F, Op 24 ? Spring)
5.00 Words and Music
Pieces inspired by fairy tales, featuring music
by Schoenberg and Sondheim and readings of
poetry and prose by Perrault and Grimm, read
by Jim Broadbent and Helen McCrory (r)
6.15 New Generation Artists
Clemency Burton-Hill continues her
Christmas series with the Calidore Quartet
and Ashley Riches. Vaughan Williams (Silent
Noon); Caroline Shaw (First Essay); Haydn
(String Quartet No 5 in D, Op 64 ? The Lark);
Vaughan Williams (Songs of Travel); Martinu
(Sonatina); and Ives (The Light That Is Felt)
7.30 BBC Proms 2017
The BBC Symphony Orchestra conducted by
Sir Andrew Davis, with the pianist Beatrice
Rana. Presented by Petroc Trelawny from the
Royal Albert Hall. Trad arr Wood (The
National Anthem); Berlioz (Overture: Le
carnaval romain); Schumann (Piano Concerto
in A minor); Elgar (Overture: Cockaigne ? In
London Town); Walton (Fa鏰de, Suite No 1;
and Fa鏰de Suite No 2 ? Popular Song);
Holst (The Perfect Fool, Op 39); Delius
(On Hearing the First Cuckoo in Spring);
and Britten (The Young Person?s
Guide to the Orchestra) (r)
9.30 BBC Proms 2017
Pablo Heras-Casado conducts the Freiburg
Baroque Orchestra, and the soloist Isabelle
Faust. Presented by Ian Skelly from the
Royal Albert Hall. Mendelssohn (Overture:
The Hebrides ? Fingal?s Cave); Violin
Concerto in E minor; and Symphony
No 5 in D ? Reformation) (r)
11.00 Late Junction
The composer, producer, DJ and label director
Gabriel Proko?ev concludes his stint in the
hotseat, playing music that cuts across his
various musical interests and activities
12.30am Through the Night
A concert of wind chamber music (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am-7.30 (LW) Test Match Special:
Australia v England
The second day of the fourth Ashes Test
5.30 News Brie?ng
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (9/12)
6.00 Today
7.30 (LW) Today
9.00 Soul Music
How Bob Marley?s Redemption Song has
inspired generations around the world (2/5)
9.30 Why I Changed My Mind
How Bill Browder?s change of mind has made
him Vladimir Putin?s great enemy (3/4) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Adventures of a Young Naturalist
David Attenborough reads from his 1950s
account of his trip to Java (3/5)
10.02 Woman?s Hour
Discussion and interviews, presented by
Jenni Murray. Including at 10.45 the 15
Minute Drama: Incredible Women (3/5)
11.00 A Place Called Home
Business woman Mary Portas goes back
to her Watford roots (2/4) (r)
11.30 John Finnemore?s
Souvenir Programme
A seasonal special from 2016 (1/6) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Radio 4?s Pen Pals
Lyse Doucet and her Afghan pen-pal
exchange poignant letters about war, poetry
and cancer. See Radio Choice (3/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Game Over
By Emily Short. Video game designer Chelsea
has a tough job ahead building her game
3.02 Ramblings
Clare Balding walks from Constantine Bay to
Harlyn along the Cornish coast (1/6) (r)
3.26 The Listening Project
3.30 The Power of Sloth
Lucy Cooke discovers the bene?ts
of being really slow (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O?Clock News
6.15 Dr John Cooper Clarke at the BBC
The Bard of Salford performs a mixture of
classic and previously unheard poems (1/2)
John Brownlow from Jessie Burton?s
debut novel set in 17th-century
Amsterdam. Petronella Oortman
(Anya Taylor-Joy, who goes from
naive china-doll country girl to
feminist firebrand in less time than
it takes to eat a stroopwafel) moves
to Amsterdam to marry the rich,
secretive, useless sugar trader
Johannes Brandt, who needs her good
name. Poor Nella must endure
Johannes?s icy sister Marin Brandt
(Romola Garai), the gossipy maid
Cornelia and the former slave Otto,
played as well as they might be by
Hayley Squires and Paapa Essiedu.
She must also deal with the
wedding present from hell, a gift
from her husband ? a doll?s house
replica of their family home peopled
by tiny versions of real-life figures.
Oh, and it predicts the future, so when
the dog is stabbed the miniature pup
sheds blood. Spooky silly.
Still, Garai has never been better,
playing Marin as a Dutch Mrs
Danvers, the barely lit prison of a
house a canalside Manderley. Yet her
lines ? example: ?Don?t play with fire,
Petronella, or you?ll get burnt along
with the rest of us? ? are not worthy
of Garai?s commendable delivery, and
the far-fetched story plods along like
a carthorse in clogs. Still, loved the
interiors. Black walls, uplighting ? all
very this season.
alex.oconnell@thetimes.co.uk
6.30 Jeremy Hardy Feels It
Jeremy not only seconds an emotion,
but explains it too (3/4)
7.00 The Archers
Pat gets a belated gift
7.15 Front Row
Kazuo Ishiguro talks to John Wilson
7.45 Incredible Women
Spoof documentary (3/5) (r)
8.00 We Need to Talk About Death
Joan Bakewell and her panel discuss how
to opt to be buried at sea (3/3)
8.45 Encounters
Two people share their opposing views
on dangerous dogs (3/4)
9.00 Against Our Ruin
The popularity of ruins and relics (r)
9.30 Soul Music (2/5) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
How to Stop Time
By Matt Haig (3/10)
11.00-5.20 (LW) Test Match Special:
Australia v England
Commentary on the third day of the fourth
Ashes Test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground
11.00 Life on Egg
Comedy starring Harry Hill (1/4)
11.15 Lazy Susan:
East Coast Listening Post
Turning attention to the British
phenomenon that was ?Mr Splatt? (2/4)
11.30 Anansi Boys
By Neil Gaiman (3/6)
12.00 News and Weather
12.15am Bone Stories (2/5) (r)
12.30 Book of the Week: Adventures
of a Young Naturalist (3/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
5.20 Shipping Forecast
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 A Very Private
Man 9.00 Act Your Age 9.30 Life, Death and
Sex with Mike and Sue 10.00 The Great
Gatsby 11.00 Ballet Stories 11.15 The
Further Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
12.00 The Navy Lark 12.30pm A Very
Private Man 1.00 A Case for Paul Temple
1.30 Candlelight: The Living Flame 2.00 The
Diary of a Provincial Lady 2.15 Five Hundred
Years of Friendship 2.30 Dombey and Son
2.45 The Pantomime Life of Joseph Grimaldi
3.00 The Great Gatsby 4.00 Act Your Age
4.30 Life, Death and Sex with Mike and Sue
5.00 Like They?ve Never Been Gone 5.30
Jeremy Hardy Feels It 6.00 Good Omens
6.30 Musical Legends 7.00 The Navy Lark.
Comedy with Leslie Phillips 7.30 A Very
Private Man. David dreads the forthcoming
visit by his mother 8.00 A Case for Paul
Temple. Paul Temple and Sir Graham fall into
a trap 8.30 Candlelight: The Living Flame.
The symbolic nature of candlelight 9.00
Ballet Stories. Read by Anthony Dowell
9.15 The Further Adventures of Sherlock
Holmes. The Thirteen Watches by Bert
Coules 10.00 Comedy Club: Jeremy Hardy
Feels It 10.30 The Secret World 11.00 Mr
and Mrs Smith 11.30 Clayton Grange
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
7.00am Ashes Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Sam Walker 1.00pm Afternoon Edition
4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 7.45 5
Live Sport: Premier League Football 2017-18:
Newcastle United v Manchester City
(Kick-off 7.45) 10.00 The Ashes 10.30 5
Live News 11.30 The Ashes: Australia v
England. Coverage of the third day?s play
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
10.00 Tony Cascarino and Bob Mills 1.00pm
Danny Kelly and Max Rushden 4.00 Adrian
Durham 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Tom Latchem
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Jon Hillcock 10.00 Mary Anne
Hobbs 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00 Huey
Morgan 7.00 Best of the 6 Music Festival
9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends 1.00am Vic Galloway?s
Barrowlands 2.00 The Evolution of John
Peel: 2000s Evolution 2.30 6 Music Live Hour
3.30 6 Music?s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 10.00 John
Brunning 2.00pm Jane Jones 5.00 Sam
Pittis 8.00 The Full Works Concert. Anon
(Gaudete); JS Bach (Orchestral Suite No.4 in
D); Grieg (Norwegian Dances); John Field
(Irish Concerto); Anon (O Little One Sweet);
John Rutter (Shepherd?s Pipe Carol);
Handel (Organ Concerto in F); Anon
(Coventry Carol); Alexia Sloane (Elegy for
Aylan); John Tavener (Song for Athene);
and Arvo Part (Spiegel im Spiegel) 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Bob Jones
8
1G T
Wednesday December 27 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Turtle, Eagle,
Cheetah:
A Slow Odyssey
BBC Four, 9pm
If you have
overindulged
in the
opulent
delights of Christmas
telly, here is the visual
equivalent of an Alka-
Early
Top
pick
Seltzer. The BBC?s
slow-TV offering
follows the wanderings
of three animals ?
a green sea turtle, a
white-tailed sea eagle
and three cheetahs.
All three subjects are
granted half an hour,
unfettered by human
camera teams. Instead
the programme-makers
make use of the latest
onboard wearable
technology, pioneered
by the BBC?s Natural
History Unit, to take
you deep into these
animals? worlds. The
word immersive is
overused these days,
but there is no other
way to describe the
experience of seeing
the world through a
camera mounted on the
back of a turtle as it
drifts through a coral
reef in Indonesia. The
only accompaniments
are the occasional
captions, the burblings
of the sea and some
Brian Eno-esque
ambient music. This
mesmeric opening
sequence is so restful,
you might nod off. The
ante is upped slightly as
we head to the rugged
west coast of Scotland
to see what life is like
for a white-tailed sea
eagle. This five-year-old
female is falconry-
trained, so we glimpse
some human beings,
but then we are solely
with the bird as she
glides across the crags
of Crois Bheinn, the
beating of her wings,
the stiff breeze and the
patter of rain the only
sounds. Finally we?re
off to Namibia to watch
three orphaned
cheetahs navigating the
woodland and scrub
of the Central Plateau.
Agatha Christie
vs Hercule Poirot
Sky Arts, 7.30pm
With Kenneth Branagh
hamming it up as the
Belgian detective in
cinemas, now is an
opportune moment
to spend some time
with Agatha Christie?s
most famous creation.
However, this
documentary focuses
on The Murder of Roger
Ackroyd, written in
1926. The infamy of the
third novel to feature
Poirot rests on its
startling reveal, hugely
original in its day. The
author was pilloried by
critics at the time for
this. Pierre Bayard, a
professor of literature
and a psychoanalyst,
offers a fascinating
deconstruction of the
novel and comes to a
surprising conclusion.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 7.45 Match of the Day. Gary Lineker
presents highlights of the latest Premier League matches
(r) 9.15 FILM: Turbo (U, 2013) Animated adventure
with the voice of Ryan Reynolds (AD) 10.45 FILM: The
Princess and the Frog (U, 2009) Disney animated
musical fantasy with the voice of Anika Noni Rose (AD)
12.15pm Snow Bears. Documentary following polar
bears travelling to the North Pole (r) (AD) 1.15 BBC
News 1.25 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.35 Father
Brown. Sid falls for the heiress to a local brewery (r) (AD)
2.20 FILM: Shrek 2 (U, 2004) The ogre meets his
in-laws, who are decidedly unimpressed with their
daughter?s choice of husband. Animated adventure sequel
with the voices of Mike Myers and Cameron Diaz (AD)
3.45 The Gruffalo. Animated adaptation of the children?s
book with the voice of Robbie Coltrane (r) (AD) 4.10
FILM: Big Hero 6 (PG, 2014) An orphan forms a
special bond with an in?atable robot who helps him and
his friends investigate a devastating event. Animated
adventure featuring the voice of Ryan Potter (AD) 5.45
Pointless. Quiz show hosted by Alexander Armstrong (r)
6.30 BBC News 6.50 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.25am Sign Zone: Mary Berry?s Country House Secrets
(r) (AD, SL) 7.25 Island Parish Shetland (r) (AD) 7.55
FILM: Bears (U, 2014) A documentary that follows an
Alaskan bear family as the young cubs are taught life?s
most important lessons. Narrated by John C Reilly 9.10
The Big Family Cooking Showdown (r) (AD) 10.10
Nadiya?s British Food Adventure (r) (AD) 11.10 The
Sweet Makers: A Georgian Treat (r) (AD) 12.10pm
FILM: The Red Shoes (U, 1948) A budding prima
ballerina?s love for a composer arouses the wrath of her
possessive mentor. Powell and Pressburger?s drama
starring Anton Walbrook and Moira Shearer (AD) 2.20
The World?s Most Extraordinary Homes (r) (AD) 3.20
Inside the Factory. Investigating the production of tea (r)
(AD) 4.20 FILM: The Man Who Never Was (U,
1956) Allied forces prepare to invade Europe, devising an
ingenious plan to outwit the enemy. Fact-based Second
World War drama starring Clifton Webb and Gloria
Grahame 6.00 Thailand: Earth?s Tropical Paradise.
Exploring the wildlife and culture of the South East Asian
nation. The ?rst episode examines the south of the
country and the role of spirituality in daily life (r) (AD)
6.00am CITV: Sooty 6.10 The Oddbods Show (r) 6.15
Om Nom Stories (r) 6.20 Super 4 (r) 6.45 Mr Bean: The
Animated Series (r) (AD) 7.10 Horrid Henry (r) (AD)
7.25 FILM: K-9 (12, 1989) A hard-bitten cop is
partnered with a lovable Alsatian that puts him through
his paces on the biggest case of his career. Comedy
starring James Belushi, Mel Harris and Ed O?Neill (AD)
9.25 FILM: Twins (PG, 1988) Genetically designed
twin brothers who were separated at birth set out on an
adventure in search of their unknown mother. Comedy
starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito (AD)
11.25 Cannonball Christmas Special. Andrew Flintoff
hosts a special festive edition of the action-packed
water-based game show (r) 12.25pm You?ve Been
Framed! 12.55 ITV News; Weather 1.00 Midsomer
Murders. A man is stabbed to death during a party (r)
(AD) 3.00 Tenable. Quiz hosted by Warwick Davis
(r) 4.00 Tipping Point. Game show hosted by Ben
Shephard (r) 5.00 The Chase. Quiz show hosted by
Bradley Walsh (r) 6.00 Paul O?Grady: For the Love of
Dogs. A British bulldog has a problem with its legs (r)
6.30 Regional News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather
6.40am FILM: Short Circuit 2 (PG, 1988) Sci-?
comedy sequel with Fisher Stevens (AD) 8.40 Lego
Masters. The hunt is on for the UK and Ireland?s best Lego
builders (r) (AD) 9.40 The Simpsons (r) (AD) 11.05
FILM: Small Soldiers (PG, 1998) A computer chip
brings a squad of toy soldiers to life. Children?s adventure
with Kirsten Dunst and Gregory Smith 1.15pm FILM:
Sunshine on Leith (PG, 2013) Two soldiers return
home from Afghanistan, but struggle to adjust to civilian
life. Musical featuring songs by the Proclaimers, starring
George MacKay and Kevin Guthrie 3.10 Four Rooms with
Sarah Beeny. A very rare book by Mary Wollstonecraft and
William Blake 4.15 Channel 4 News 4.30 FILM: Back to
the Future Part II (PG, 1989) Time-travelling teenager
Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to
save his children from a terrible fate. However, this
proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future
version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite
history for his own bene?t, leaving Marty stuck in a
twisted parallel universe. Sci-? comedy sequel starring
Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Brody ?nds out that Maggie has cancer (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Cruising with Jane McDonald.
The presenter embarks on a series of ocean odysseys (r)
9.30 World?s Strongest Man 2017. Highlights of the
World Tour Finals ? a ?ve-round, 10-man competition
which took place in front of 10,000 fans at Manchester
Arena 10.30 FILM: North Sea Hijack (15, 1979) An
eccentric millionaire volunteers his counter-terrorist team
to thwart an attempt by a madman to blow up two oil rigs
in the North Sea. Thriller with Roger Moore and James
Mason 12.25pm FILM: Operation Crossbow (PG,
1965) Three engineers parachute into occupied Holland to
destroy a missile base ? but there is a traitor in their
midst. Second World War adventure with George Peppard
and Sophia Loren 2.40 FILM: Operation ? Daybreak
(15, 1975) Fact-based Second World War drama about
the assassination of leading Nazi Reinhard Heydrich and
the subsequent search for the British-trained Czech
patriots who killed him. As German forces scoured
the countryside, the apparently insigni?cant village of
Lidice came to bear the brunt of their rage. Starring
Timothy Bottoms, Martin Shaw, Joss Ackland, Nicola
Pagett, Anton Diffring and Anthony Andrews
7.00 Dad?s Army The vicar holds a
fundraising bazaar (8/8) (r)
7.30 A Question of Sport: Premier
League Special Light-hearted quiz
with Dion Dublin, Graeme Le Saux,
Darren Bent and Alex Scott
7.30 Christmas University Challenge
2017 Teams from the University of
York and University of Southampton
compete in the quiz (3/10)
8PM
8.00 Little Women The March sisters
must fend for themselves at home as
Marmee is preoccupied with caring for
her ailing husband, but the girls face
an insurmountable challenge as Beth
falls dangerously ill (2/3) (AD)
8.00 Six Robots & Us A unique
experiment exploring the latest
innovations in robotics, to examine
how useful robots can be in enhancing
the lives of ordinary families.
See Viewing Guide (1/2) (AD)
9.00 The Miniaturist Nella desperately
tries to turn the fortunes of the
Brandt household around, but the
miniatures and their messages keep
coming. With shocking secrets still
to surface and time beginning to run
out, Nella worries that her fate
may be predestined (2/2) (AD)
9.00 Alan Partridge: Why, When,
Where, How and Whom?
Documentary celebrating 25 years
of Steve Coogan?s comic creation,
featuring contributions from writers
and co-stars and previously unseen
rehearsal and improv footage.
See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
11PM
10.20 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.30 Mrs Brown?s Boys Christmas
Special Cathy has an internet date,
and Rory hopes to improve his looks
by undergoing plastic surgery (r)
11.00 Not Going Out Christmas Special
Lee faces a desperate search for
a Christmas present (r)
Late
10PM
7PM
7.00 Celebrity Mastermind New series.
With Jack Ashton, Rich Hall, Guy
Mowbray and Pam Ayres (1/10)
9PM
IT?S ALL ABOUT THE MUSIC
11.40 Comic Relief 2017: ?Twas the
Thanks After Red Nose Day
Lenny Henry and Sally Phillips look
back at some of the highlights from
the 2017 Comic Relief fundraising
event, featuring a host of famous
faces and comedic routines
12.45am-6.00 BBC News
10.00 Oasis: Supersonic (15, 2016)
Documentary about the early years of
the Manchester band who dominated
the charts in the mid-1990s. The ?lm
focuses on the relationship between
the Gallagher brothers Noel and Liam,
including their infamous sibling
rivalry, and also features rare concert
footage. With Noel Gallagher, Liam
Gallagher, Peggie Gallagher, Paul
?Bonehead? Arthurs, Paul ?Guigsy:
McGuigan, Tony McCarroll,
Alan McGee and Owen Morris
7.00 Emmerdale Zak enlists Faith?s help
in faking the paperwork to save the
Dingle home. Liv is delighted to see
that Aaron and Alex are together (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street Eileen is
determined to ?nd out more about
Billy?s fall, while Adam vows to get
justice for his mum?s death (AD)
7.00 The Supervet at Christmas Noel
Fitzpatrick is called upon to help a
Humboldt penguin chick that needs
surgery on its foot. He also treats
a Maine coon cat that needs help
with a mysterious swelling in its
back leg and a husky from Thailand
undergoes hip surgery (r) (AD)
4.55 The Guns of Navarone (PG, 1961)
Allied soldiers are sent to sabotage
German artillery emplacements.
Second World War adventure based on
Alistair MacLean?s novel, with Gregory
Peck, David Niven and Anthony Quinn;
followed by 5 News Update
8.00 Harry Potter and the Goblet of
Fire (12, 2005) Adolescent wizard
Harry is unexpectedly chosen to
represent Hogwarts School in a
prestigious magical tournament,
despite being legally too young to
enter. Along with charming sixth-year
student Cedric Diggory, Harry takes on
the champions of two other magical
academies visiting the school, facing
deadly monsters in a series of
death-defying challenges. Meanwhile,
the followers of the dreaded Lord
Voldemort plot to restore their master
to the land of the living. Fourth
instalment of the fantasy saga starring
Daniel Radcliffe, Robbie Coltrane,
Ralph Fiennes, Michael Gambon,
Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Brendan
Gleeson and Robert Pattinson (AD)
8.00 Supershoppers Sales Special Anna
Richardson and Sabrina Grant offer
money-saving tips, and investigate
some of the slashed prices and
discounts from retailers that may not
be all they seem. Plus, a look at pricey
high street cashmere jumpers and
supermarket sweaters at half the price
8.00 World?s Strongest Man 2017
Action from the opening heat in
Botswana, which featured four former
winners including defending champion
Brian Shaw ? targeting a recordequalling ?fth title (6/11)
9.00 Miranda Does Christmas
A Christmas special hosted by the
comedian Miranda Hart, featuring a
unique gospel choir performance, and
a festive version of a Destiny?s Child
classic. With special guests including
David Tennant, Sam Smith and Prue
Leith. See Viewing Guide (AD)
9.00 Most Shocking Celebrity Moments
2017 Memorable moments featuring
famous faces from the past year,
including David Beckham?s leaked
e-mails, Wayne Rooney?s drink-driving,
the wrong ?lm being announced as
Best Picture at the Oscars, and Taylor
Swift?s controversial music video for
Look What You Made Me Do. Plus,
highlights from the year?s reality
television shows, including Prue Leith
accidentally spoiling the result of
The Great British Bake Off ?nale.
With contributions from Louis
Walsh, Len Goodman, Sinitta,
Amelia Lily, Eamonn Holmes, Marcel
Somerville and Brian Harvey
10.50 ITV News
11.05 Tina & Bobby Drama about the
footballer Bobby Moore?s life with
his childhood sweetheart Tina Dean,
from their humble beginnings to
superstardom (1/3) (r) (AD)
11.05 East Is East (15, 1999) Two Asian
teenagers in 1970s Salford are
horri?ed when their traditionally
minded father plans arranged
marriages for them. Comedy drama
starring Om Puri, Linda Bassett, Jimi
Mistry and Archie Panjabi (AD)
12.05am Get Shirty Documentary examining how a
small underwear company from Leicester invented a
replica football kit and established an industry now worth
billions of pounds (r) 12.55 Jackpot247. Interactive
gaming 3.00 May the Best House Win (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.50am Very British Problems at Christmas (r)
(AD) 1.45 That?s So Last Century (r) (AD) 2.35 Britain?s
Favourite Superhero (r) (AD) 4.00 Location, Location,
Location (r) 4.55 Four in a Bed (r) 5.20 Kirstie?s
Handmade Christmas (r) 5.40-7.20 FILM: Holiday Inn
(U, 1942) Musical starring Bing Crosby (b/w)
11.55 NFL This Week Action from
the 16th round of ?xtures
12.45am Britpop at the BBC 1.45 Blur at Glastonbury
(r) 2.45 Sign Zone: Joanna & Jennifer ? Absolutely
Champers (r) (AD, SL) 3.45-5.25 FILM: Bill (PG, 2015)
William Shakespeare leaves his family to pursue his
dreams, but gets caught up in a plot to blow up the queen.
Historical comedy starring Mathew Baynton (AD, SL)
10.00 First Dates at Christmas The
restaurant hosts a festive party as
maitre d? Fred and his Christmas Cupids
celebrate a year that has seen
proposals, engagement rings and the
show?s very ?rst baby (r) (AD)
12.00 Blind Date Christmas Special A festive edition
of the matchmaking show with Paul O?Grady (r) 1.00am
SuperCasino. Live interactive gaming 3.05 Love/Hate.
John Boy orders Tommy to kill Fran (r) 4.00 Cruising with
Jane McDonald (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10
House Busters (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday December 27 2017
9
1G T
television & radio
Six Robots & Us
BBC Two, 8pm
In an innovative
two-part documentary,
six British families
welcome six robots into
their homes to see if
the latest AI technology
is a help or a hindrance
to their lives. In the
first episode we meet
Fitbot, who has been
programmed to help a
Plymouth family to get
in shape; Tutorbot, who
is helping to develop
the speech of a fiveyear-old with learning
difficulties; and Beam,
who is enabling a dad
working in Spain to
stay connected to his
UK-dwelling family.
The robotics expert
Jonathan Rossiter
and the psychologist
Dr Caroline Jay
monitor the experiment
as it unfolds.
Alan Partridge:
Why, When, Where,
How and Whom?
BBC Two, 9pm
Alan Partridge started
life as an inept sports
broadcaster on Radio 4
a quarter of a century
ago. To mark this
milestone, Steve Coogan
and the team of writers
and producers who
created Partridge
(including Armando
Iannucci) look at
how the character
has evolved from a
broadcasting caricature
to a nuanced study of
a certain kind of Little
Englander. Coogan?s
performance is so
effortless that the
character has assumed
a life of its own, and a
wealth of never-beforeseen archive footage
will shine a light how
he came to be.
Miranda Does
Christmas
Channel 4, 9pm
Miranda Hart has
teased fans with a
possible new series
of her hugely popular
BBC sitcom after
rumours of a meeting
with her co-star Tom
Ellis. Until then she
continues to spread
her wings and here
she is on Channel 4
presenting an
entertainment special
with a festive theme.
As well as hitting the
streets of Britain to
spread joy (and chaos)
among shoppers, Hart
will be rewarding the
good deeds of members
of the audience. Guests
include Sam Smith
and David Tennant,
while a gospel choir
perform a unique
Christmas mash-up.
Sport Choice
Sky Main Event, 7.30pm
The last time Newcastle
United and Manchester
City met was in the
League Cup in October
2014. The Magpies
won that match at the
Etihad Stadium 2-0 ?
what odds that history
will be repeating itself
as the sides clash at
St James? Park tonight
(kick-off 8pm)?
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Futurama (r) (AD) 7.30 The Simpsons
(r) 9.30 Modern Family (r) 11.00 David
Attenborough?s Galapagos (r) (AD) 12.00
Hawaii Five-0 (r) 1.00pm Moon?eet (r) (AD)
3.00 Modern Family (r) 4.30 Futurama (r) 5.30
The Simpsons. Homer invents a new drink (r)
6.00 The Simpsons. Back-to-back episodes (r)
8.00 A League of Their Own. With Dele Alli,
Stephen Mangan and Rob Beckett joining
regulars Jamie Redknapp, Andrew Flintoff and
Jack Whitehall and host James Corden (r) (AD)
9.00 The Late Late Show with James Corden.
All the year?s best moments (r)
10.00 Football?s Funniest Moments.
Comical incidents from the world of football,
including Rod Stewart?s memorable involvement
in the Scottish Cup draw and a look at
Chris Kamara?s reporting style (r)
12.00 A League of Their Own: US Road Trip 2.0
(r) (AD) 1.00am The Russell Howard Hour (r)
2.00 A League of Their Own (r) (AD) 3.00 NCIS:
Los Angeles (r) 4.00 Zoo Tales (r) (AD)
6.00am The British (r) (AD) 10.00 The Words
That Built America (r) (AD) 11.00 Blue Bloods.
Back-to-back editions of the drama (r) (AD)
6.00pm David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies. Insects capable of ?ight (r) (AD)
7.00 David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies. Creatures that gl
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