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The Times Times 2 - 28 March 2018

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March 28 | 2018
The inbetweeners
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ee
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et
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ea
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n
ca
u
yo
Dresses
From left: Cindy dress, �5;
Chrissy dress, �5, both
rixo.co.uk; floral panel dress,
�9.44, frame-store.com
2
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Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
times2
The president,
Self-serve theft ? an
entirely expected item
in the blagging area
Carol Midgley
P
oor Sainsbury?s. Poor
trusting Sainsbury?s,
which is reduced to
putting cameras and
mirrors above its selfservice tills because ?
shockingly ? people
often sneak groceries
into their bags, a practice that costs
supermarkets collectively �2 billion a
year. I know. There are just no words.
If only there had been some way of
predicting that when supermarkets
started to treat their ?valued?
customers like unpaid skivvies ?
making them do the job they once
paid Brenda, mother of three, to do,
then sitting back while their ?checkout
experience? became a stressful
arseache because the stupid machines
can?t tell a butternut squash from a
sanitary towel ? the customer might,
after the 20th nag about the bagging
area say, ?Sod this,? and steal a box of
Fox?s Favourites. I wouldn?t be
surprised if Brenda, having been put
on reduced hours, slips the odd Mum
deodorant in her bag too, but she
mostly now shops at Aldi, even though
its weird baked beans are rubbish
(honestly, they taste like medicine).
I don?t believe for a second that
supermarkets are surprised by the
backlash at the con of persuading the
customer that self-scanning and
packing was for their convenience
when it was obviously to increase
profits. They probably factored in these
losses, but still came out laughing. That
honesty boxes have regularly failed is
well known, yet retailers cheerfully
created a system in which thousands
started rationalising stealing.
In a recent Reddit discussion online
one person said: ?Anyone who pays for
more than half of their stuff in selfcheckout is a total moron.? Recently a
Mumsnet user admitted that her
husband had become addicted to the
buzz of the small at-till pilfer (if my
husband?s idea of a thrill were robbing a
Tesco quiche I?d find it less shameful to
admit he was addicted to Milf porn).
This is the monster that?s been created.
Of course self-scan tills are
sometimes handy, especially if one
doesn?t fancy buying, say, Anusol from
a sniggering youth. But retailers are like
crack whores for them. And we?ve been
fully groomed into doing other people?s
jobs, meekly paying to print our
boarding passes, weighing and checking
Forget the
food ? I
want rude
Hard not to admire
Guillaume Rey, a
waiter who, after
On Sunday night, 22 million people saw
Stormy Daniels make sensational claims
about her encounter with Trump. He?s
met his match, says Richard Godwin
You want
Viagra?
Speak up!
in our luggage, filling our petrol tanks
and reading our gas meters. Are we
ever given a discount for our trouble?
Don?t be daft. If anything prices tend to
keep going up not down.
But the real surprise is Sainsbury?s
old-fashioned response to the problem.
A camera and a mirror? Is it 1995?
They?ll soon be making their home
deliveries by penny-farthing. How
come Facebook can tell if someone
6,000 miles away in Estonia has
broken wind, yet our dozy
supermarket tills can?t see that you?ve
crammed extra-mature cheddar in
your pocket when you are standing six
inches from it? That they still have a
bored member of staff hovering
behind the tills to intervene every ten
seconds as a machine kicks off over
tomato soup kind of suggests that this
technology is not up to scratch.
This year in Seattle Amazon opened
its first checkout-free grocery store,
where sensors know what?s in your
basket and bill you after you?ve left
using a credit card on file. Co-op, Tesco
and Sainsbury?s are trialling a ?scan
and go? system in which you scan your
purchases on your phone then take
them away without visiting a checkout.
This is clearly the future as real
human beings are ever more relegated
into backroom Billies and moppushers. It will reduce staffing and
queues, but it will also set the Artful
Dodger shopper a new challenge.
Human beings usually find a way to
the five-finger discount. The question
is: if it means they can trim yet more
staff, will the supermarkets even care?
being fired for his
rudeness, argued
that he was ?just
being French?.
Monsieur Rey told
employers at the
Milestones restaurant
in Vancouver that it
was part of his
?culture? to be direct
and aggressive.
Maybe he?s right.
Years ago I asked for
a vegetarian meal in a
Paris restaurant and
the waiter rudely
mimed spitting on the
floor in disgust. I dined
out on it for ages.
Maybe some think
that bad manners add
to the ambience, like
Much to celebrate.
From this week Viagra
is available over the
counter without
prescription, just like
throat lozenges.
Rejoice. On the
downside this will
result in a resurgence
of very old and terrible
Viagra jokes such as ?A
fiver a tablet? I?m too
hard up? or ?What?s the
drug?s generic name?
Mycoxaflopin?.
On the upside it?s
hoped that men who
were too embarrassed
to see their GP will just
pop along to their
chemist. I?m not
entirely convinced
about that bit. Men
must first answer a
series of medical
questions to determine
whether Viagra is
appropriate for them.
Any woman who has
sought the morning
after pill from a
chemist will know
what that?s like.
And being asked,
?And exactly how many
hours ago did you have
UNPROTECTED
SEX???? in front of
old ladies queueing
for Buttercup syrup
definitely is no less
awkward than going
to a GP. Now that?s
when you need a
self-service till.
those who pay for the
Fawlty Towers dining
experience with thrown
bread rolls and
mismatched cutlery.
I can?t, to be honest,
think of any other
reason to go to a
French restaurant.
In my experience it?s
certainly not the food.
T
she hasn?t already been called a
here?s a term used in
million times before ? and for which
Dante?s Inferno,
she hasn?t already come up with the
contrapasso, to refer
perfect response.
to a punishment that
Here she is on 60 Minutes, dismissing
perfectly fits a crime.
the host Anderson Cooper?s charge
A spy may face eternal
that she?s only bringing up her alleged
torture to the eye;
romp with Trump for the cash. ?Yes,
a false prophet may
I?m getting more job offers now, but
have his head twisted on backwards.
tell me one person who would turn
And Donald Trump may be cut
down a job offer making more than
down to size by Stephanie Clifford,
they?ve been making, doing the same
aka Stormy Daniels, the 39-year-old
thing that they?ve always done??
porn actress and director whose
Here is how she responded to
outlandish allegations about the
Trump?s narcissistic chat-up technique:
American president have prompted
?I was, like, ?Does this normally work
an uncharacteristic silence from him.
?She is basically using Donald Trump?s for you?? And he looked very taken
aback, like he didn?t really understand
tactics and being successful with it,?
what I was saying. Like, I was, ?Does,
says Mike South, a columnist in the
just, you know, talking about yourself
adult-industry press and a friend of
Clifford?s. ?She?s out-Trumping Trump.? normally work??. . . I don?t think
anyone?s ever spoken to him like that.?
If you weren?t one of the 22 million
She?s consistent too. Here she is
people who saw her appearance on
telling In Touch that their sex was
CBS?s 60 Minutes, and you?re not one
?textbook generic . . . I actually don?t
of her 631,000 Twitter followers, then
even know why I did it, but I do
this is her story so far. In July 2006,
remember while we were having sex, I
18 months after Trump had married
was, like, ?Please, don?t try to pay me.? ?
Melania and four months after their
And here she is on Twitter yesterday
son Barron was born, Clifford says she
responding to someone who called her
met Trump at a celebrity golf
a ?slut?, claiming that no one cared
tournament in Lake Tahoe.
that she slept with the president
She claims Trump came on to her
12 years ago: ?People DO care that
by showing her a magazine he had
he lied about it, had me bullied, broke
published with a picture of himself on
laws to cover it up, etc. And PS . . . I am
the cover. She says she rolled up the
NOT going anywhere. Xoxoxo.?
magazine and spanked him with it.
Let?s hope not. If the 45th president,
One thing led to another and they
who denies ever having an affair with
?allegedly? ended up having a ?sexual
Clifford, were to be brought down by a
encounter?. Four other women allege
woman even more brazen, more
that Trump propositioned or had sex
unapologetic and more wonderfully
with them at the same tournament
American than he is ? only with a far
(Trump denies the allegations). But
more coherent moral code ? well,
Clifford seems to have had a special
how Trumpian that would be.
bond with him. ?He said that he
?What
she?ss so
thought that if he cut
ut his hair or
What strikes me is that she
changed it that he would lose
aware of what she?s doing,? says a
his power and his wealth,? she
former editor at the
told In Touch magazine
zine in 2011.
?And I laughed
hysterically at
him . . . He was, like,
?You know what?
You?re really smart.
You?re not dumb.?
And I was like,
?Thanks, dick. Whatt
does that mean?? ?
During Trump?s
presidential run hiss lawyers
paid Clifford $130,000
00 to
keep this matter to herself
as part of a non-disclosure
closure
agreement. Details of
this arrangement began
egan
leaking out this year,
ar, but
Donald and Melania Trump
the potential war with
North Korea and Trump
rump
threatening to arm school
teachers kept the story
ory out of
the spotlight. At least
ast until
Clifford finally surfaced
aced on
CBS on Sunday evening,
ening,
risking a $20 million
n damages
bill to tell her side of the story.
It seems there is nothing
anyone can call Clifford
fford that
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
3
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times2
the porn star ? and those tweets
PAUL BUCK/EPA; UNIVERSAL NEWS AND SPORT
trade publication Adult Video News.
?As soon as this story broke I
wondered if this savvy woman would
be the one to weaponise the cultural
stigma against porn stars and expose
the hypocrisy ? and danger ? of
this president.?
Clifford?s specific allegation is that
Trump got his lawyer, Michael Cohen,
to pay her $130,000 to keep quiet
about their 2006 encounter a few days
before America went to the polls in
November 2016; she also alleges that a
figure told her to ?leave Trump alone?
when she was out with her infant
daughter, adding: ?That?s a beautiful
little girl. It?d be a shame if something
happened to her mom.? Cohen has
made it clear that he has no
knowledge of any such incident.
It says a lot about the chaos of the
Trump White House that the story
was low on the news agenda until the
CBS interview. That may be because
it didn?t seem to tell us much about
Donald Trump we didn?t already know.
So he ? allegedly ? pays off
compromising figures from his past?
That?s a basic manoeuvre in any
would-be tyrant?s playbook (and one
that Trump seems to have bungled).
So he cheated on his wife four months
after their son was born? It?s not like
Melania looks delighted to be there, is
it? And, big deal, he sleeps with porn
stars. Trump already had multiple
allegations of sexual assault lined up
against him. If conservative Christians
? not least the vice-president Mike
Pence, who won?t have dinner with a
woman who isn?t his wife ? didn?t
have a problem with that then, why
would they now?
?He was a private citizen then.
As a Christian, this is a nothingburger
to me,? tweeted one supporter.
(Clifford had a comeback for that too:
?Have you even read the Bible, Mr.
?Christian?? I?ve barely skimmed the
cliff notes but know your tweet is
WAY off base.?). Indeed, much of
Trump?s base voted for him precisely
because he was the sort of guy who
would have sex with a porn star at
a celebrity golf tournament.
However, the narrative changed
when Clifford got to tell her side of the
Top: Stormy Daniels
and, above, with
Donald Trump
People do
care that
he lied
about it;
had me
bullied to
cover it up
story, taking considerable personal risk
in doing so. Trump?s lawyers have
threatened her with a $1 million fine
every time she mentions him. Her
background in the adult-movie
industry has clearly prepared her for
multiple varieties of male vileness; in
fact she seems able to recognise it as
a species of male weakness and to
exploit it as such.
She also resists moral outrage. ?This
is not a ?Me Too?,? she told Cooper.
?I?ve never said I was a victim. I think
trying to use me to further someone
else?s agenda does horrible damage to
people who are true victims.?
?Stormy is not what people think
of when they think of girls who do
porn,? says South, who has known
her since 2004, when she won the
award for best new starlet at the
AVN Awards. ?She is extraordinarily
intelligent. She is very socially adept.
Plus she has the good sense to hire
very good attorneys. She is keeping
her name in the headlines, she?s pacing
herself to maximise the exposure.
There?s a lot more to come before this
whole thing goes away.?
Clifford was born into a low-income
family in what she has described as a
?bad neighbourhood? in Baton Rouge,
Louisiana. Her parents divorced when
she was four. As a teenager, she hoped
to become a journalist and worked at a
stables for a while, but at 17 became a
dancer in a club. (She chose the name
Daniels after Jack Daniel?s whiskey, in
tribute to her southern roots.)
From strip clubs she went into
magazine modelling and eventually
the adult movie industry after
accompanying a friend, Devon
Michaels, to an audition at Wicked
Pictures in San Fernando Valley,
California, in 2002. ?Stormy only went
along for emotional support, but
Wicked ended up offering Stormy
the contract,? South claims.
So Clifford became a ?contract girl?.
While many porn careers are nasty,
brutish and short, Clifford managed
to make the studio work for her. As
Clifford explained to the podcast host
Holly Randall recently, she managed
to turn a sideline writing the scripts for
her movies into a regular source of
income; and she managed to move
into production and direction, where
the real money is made.
?Hers is one of those success stories
that doesn?t necessarily get interpreted
as such by outsiders, perhaps because
her success is in porn and not a
safe-for-work industry,? says one
insider. ?But she?s an entrepreneur, a
triple threat as a writer, director and
actress.? Wicked is, incidentally, one
of the only adult studios to have a
condoms-only policy.
Clifford?s success helped her to
crossover too. She has a sideline in
horse riding, which she keeps separate.
She has had straight Hollywood
cameos, in the Judd Apatow comedies
Knocked Up and The 40-Year-Old
Virgin. ?She was a very serious
businesswoman and a film-maker and
had taken the reins of her career,?
Apatow told The New York Times. ?She
is not someone to be underestimated.?
Indeed, in 2009 Clifford?s fans
petitioned her to stand for the
Louisiana senate seat against the
ultra-conservative Republican
incumbent. ?A champion of
entrepreneurism, a fighter for decency
and the embodiment of pure
libertarianism, Stormy Daniels will
be a tireless champion for the
forthright values of common sense
and do-it-yourself individualism,?
said her fundraising page.
So part of her success is simply that
she knows what she is doing. When a
critic on Twitter told her that ?dumb
whores go to hell,? she responded:
?Glad I?m a smart one.?
As South points out, you may not
like the porn industry or its version
of female empowerment, but it is
hypocritical to condemn the women
who work in it while exonerating the
men who fuel the demand for it. ?She
runs a very tight ship. She?s not going
to tolerate bullying. She?s not going to
tolerate any sort of misogynistic
behaviour by male talent,? he says.
Where does he think all this will
end? ?Well that?s anybody?s guess.
President Trump seems to have a bit
of a Teflon coating. But so did Bill
Clinton. And it wasn?t the affair with
Monica Lewinsky that hurt him ? it
was the lying about the affair. If
Trump gets subpoenaed on this, it?s
what he says that could cause him the
most trouble.?
So far, he hasn?t even issued a tweet.
Additional reporting by
Elisabeth Perlman
@stormydaniels
0 If @alecbaldwin agrees to let me
spank him, I promise I?ll be gentle
(unless he didn?t want me to)
0 So . . . what you?re saying is I should
run for president? I?ve always fancied
myself more of a dick-tator but I?m
into giving it a whirl
0 Forced? I OFFERED. I have also
never claimed to be a victim. Ever
heard of leading by example? Do you
have any f***ing idea how many ?real
victims? are now coming forward?
No. No, you don?t. Sit down before
you hurt yourself
0 There you go with another poorly
chosen hashtag. I?m not a ?dropout?.
I actually graduated in the top 10% of
the country from a magnet school. I
never started college so didn?t
?dropout? of that either
0 Tacos and mini corndogs just
seems so right . . . and yet, so wrong.
I believe the more traditional
choice is popcorn, however
0 Sooo . . . . I?ve stimulated genitals
AND the economy? Yay me!!
0 Does heaven have a maximum
dick-taking number? More
importantly, does hell have a
minimum? Just want to check that
my quota is on track
0 Some don?t even wear pants ;) But
I appreciate your support . . .
especially since it sounds like it may
go against what you?d normally like
to support. I find objectiveness to be
incredibly sexy
4
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Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
fashion
In search of the perfect trench
It has always been practical, but now it?s also
fashionable. So which waterproof number to
choose? Anna Murphy has some favourites
T
here have been
high-level discussions
about the trench coat
this week among my
fashion friends and me.
Practicality-wise the
trench has always been
a thing; an unbeatable
solution to matters precipitationrelated. Now it?s a thing in fashion too.
The spring-summer catwalks ? and
next season?s too ? looked like an
outtake from Singin? in the Rain.
Although just what Don Lockwood
would have made of Loewe?s
ribbon-frayed offering, or Balenciaga?s
Franken-trench ? which came spliced
with a denim blouson ? doesn?t bear
imagining. Perhaps let?s hand over to
his erstwhile co-star Lina Lamont just
this once: ?What dope?d wear a thing
like this?? You said it, Lina.
But who wouldn?t want to wear a
trench that hadn?t been mucked about
with? It?s a one-stop route to timeless
chic as well as dryness. Which is why
my quorum and I have, by way of
WhatsApp, been worrying at the
question of exactly which one is for us.
Yes, WhatsWorrying: also a thing.
Given its timelessness (and our
national weather patterns) a trench is
the most justifiable form of investment
dressing around. In this regard my
money is on Mackintosh every time.
This British brand made its debut in
1824 and has been rubberising the
bejesus out of cotton at its Scottish
factory ever since. Unusually the
gorgeous grey number pictured is
linen, but it has also been treated for
a water-repellent finish (�5,
mackintosh.com). Another favourite is
the rubberised cotton version, which
comes with a detachable wool lining
for year-round warmth (�5).
What else got the WhatsApp
thumbs up? & Other Stories? camel
cotton oversized take (�5,
stories.com) and Joseph?s cottongabardine Aquila (�5, net-aporter.com). Both great cover-ups,
although admittedly not so hot when
it actually rains. I like Label Mix/Isa
Arfen?s terracotta style, which is
showerproof (�0, next.co.uk).
Meet the fashion editor
The trench coat will be just one of
the topics under discussion at the
Times Plus ?Refresh your look? event
next Wednesday evening. Join the
style director Prue White and me at
the Soho Hotel in London as we talk
through the new-season trends and
identify the key takeaways for the
real world. Yes, you can make fashion
your friend, and we will be on hand
to help you. Tickets cost �,
mytimesplus.co.uk
Treated linen
trench, �5,
mackintosh.com
Designers are behind the curve
What a very special necklace. It?s
from Natacha Ramsay-Levi?s first
collection for Chlo� (�0, chloe.com).
?It was inspired by a Greek Venus
figurine from 4000BC,? says the
designer, who was previously the
right-hand woman to the designer
Nicolas Ghesqui鑢e at Louis Vuitton.
?Femininity is a very important
message at Chlo�, and I love the idea
of a goddess.? Don?t we all? And one
with boobs and a bottom to boot.
Oh, the irony that the earliest
images of femininity were beauteously
bountiful of proportion ? the Venus
of Willendorf being the most famed
example ? while in our theoretically
more emancipated age skinniness is
seen as next to god(dess)liness.
This is certainly the case in
the fashion industry. A month
on the road spent watching
the catwalk shows is a month
of watching overwhelmingly
thin (and young) women strut their
very small stuff. Whether or not
the models are healthy is one
question that the business is finally
starting to wake up to.
But healthiness is only part
of the equation. What does it say
about the fashion industry that
? with only the occasional
supermodel exception, such as
Ashley Graham ? hips, thighs and
boobs remain verboten? And that
on the rare occasion when they
are not, they are presented as
another kind of extreme?
Graham is a grandstanding size
16. Where are the common-orgarden size-12 models?
Is it because many top designers are
gay men, who neither have women?s
bodies nor desire them, so design
clothes for women so thin as to have
a figure more akin to that of an
adolescent male? Maybe. The few
females who?ve joined their number so
far haven?t challenged this consensus.
Is there a critical mass (sic) at which
the situation will change?
For the moment there is at least as
much curve-hating among fashion?s
straight women as among its gay men.
And this to me seems if anything more
pernicious because, at its heart, lies
self-loathing. Faced with the
then-bootilicious prospect of Gigi
Hadid coming down a Tommy Hilfiger
catwalk a couple of years ago, the
journalist next to me on the front row
exclaimed in horror that she looked
?like a big fat baby?. She looked, dear
reader, like a woman.
Cut to now, and Hadid is being
criticised for her subsequent weight
loss. She says this came about when
she was diagnosed with Hashimoto?s
disease and medicated. ?Those of u
who called me ?too big for the industry?
were seeing inflammation and water
retention due to that,? she tweeted. ?I
have always eaten the same, my body
just handles it differently now that my
health is better.?
And that is the last we will hear on
the matter from Hadid, apparently. ?I
will not further explain the way my
body looks,? she tweet-concluded,
?just as anyone, with a body type that
doesnt suit ur ?beauty? expectation,
shouldnt have to.?
Fair enough. But the women in the
fashion business, not to mention the
men, need to start calling consistently
for a set of expectations that can
encompass ? shock ? a bottom, a
bust, a size 12 or 14.
Instagram: @annagmurphy
Blogger Darja
Barannik
Blogger Annabel
Rosendahl in
Nu� Notes
Snow in
Here?s
It?s spring and it?s
freezing ? a transseasonal dress is
the answer, says
Natalie Hammond
A
pril is almost upon
us, which should
mean an Easter
weekend of shedding
your winter coat and
perhaps even
exposing your legs to
the sun. Instead
we?re preparing ourselves for a bank
holiday with the Beast from the
Northeast. What should you wear for
weather that?s one minute sunny, the
next snowy? Any purchases you make
at this point should say spring ?
there?s no point buying more jackets
and jumpers this close to summer ?
but they also need to be wearable when
there?s slush on the ground. Enter the
trans-seasonal dress ? the TSD.
This is the dress that bridges the gap
between winter and spring. It has long
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
5
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fashion
The trick
is to wear
it over
trousers
when
it?s icy
Floral pleated
mididress, �,
stories.com
Maui dress, �0,
gestuz.com
Floral pleated
mididress, �,
stories.com
Natacha dress, �9,
gestuz.com
Victoria Beckham
March?
how to dress
sleeves, swishes to mid-calf and tends
to be patterned with tiny blossoms
that can?t help but lift the spirits.
Victoria Beckham wore one to the
Paris shows in January; it was covered
in a swirling pink paisley. Net-aPorter?s fashion director, Lisa Aiken,
wore Attico?s floral print dress in a
retro palette of yellow, orange and
rust. They factored in the cold,
wearing polo necks underneath, and
slouchy ankle boots that spared their
legs the worst of the wind-chill. That?s
the brilliant thing about the TSD ?
you can get your money?s worth by
wearing it now with chunky cardigans
and in summer with espadrilles.
This type of dress, usually floral,
full-sleeved and a little bit floaty, is
starting to become a perma-trend in
fashion land ? probably because it?s
an exceptionally useful thing to have
in one?s wardrobe. Chlo�s spring
collection had dresses covered in leafy
sprigs with bohemian bell sleeves,
Valentino?s frocks swept the floor and
were splotched with watercolour
florals, and Preen showed petalprinted dresses with wafty hems.
Head to the high street and you?ll be
greeted by all kinds of dresses that tick
the trans-seasonal box and are suited
to a variety of figures. A waisted
shirtdress that cuts off at the knee is
the best choice if you?re petite, while
you can flatter a bigger bust by
choosing something round-necked
with a defined waist and full sleeves.
Splashy floral prints are hard
workers when it comes to
disguising lumps and bumps, so
don?t be afraid to experiment with
something head-turning. Kitri,
an online-only label, has had
more than 800 requests for its
Gabriella shirtdress, which
comes in spring-ready leaf green,
has a great waist-sharpening belt
and sold out within 45 minutes
of going online. Sign up to get
email updates on when it?ll be
back in stock at kitristudio.com,
and in the meantime consider
the equally on-point Georgia
dress with white blossoms
(�5).
The Scandinavians are
particularly good at dressing
for changeable weather, for
obvious reasons. Ganni,
Baum und Pferdgarten
and Stine Goya are their
go-to local brands for
trans-seasonal dresses,
and their trick is to
wear them over trousers
A guest at
Copenhagen Fashion
Week in Stine Goya
while
wh
it?s
i icy.
My picks
of Stine
Goya?s
G
ffloral bunch are
the
th cotton Katy
dress, which is strewn
with
w pink carnations
and has a slimming
tie
t at the waist (�2,
stinegoya.com),
and the
s
appropriately named
April dress in primrose
yellow (�8).
From the Scandi
labels on the high
street, try Arket?s
black crepe frock
that looks as
though it has
been rolled in a
field of daisies
(�5, arket.com),
and & Other
Stories? purpleon-blue floral
dress with a
ruffled collar (�0, stories.com).
More and more brands are being
built around the success of the
trans-seasonal dress. Rixo is the
fashion editor favourite, thanks to its
vintage-inspired prints, longer lengths
and mid-range prices. The Cindy robe
dress can be worn with jeans and a
T-shirt now ? although it would look
equally fetching over a polo neck and
opaque tights ? and with ankle-tie
sandals for wedding season. Red-carpet
starlets such as Ruth Negga love the
Vampire?s Wife, which specialises in
frocks that have a buttoned-up kind of
sexiness and frilly sleeves. The Forget
Me Not dress is 100 per cent silk
organza and just on the right side of
chintzy (�5, thevampireswife.com).
The Brighton-based label Radish
sells only trans-seasonal dresses.
?They are very wearable, whatever the
weather,? says Lisa Piercy, its founder.
The Mimi dress reaches the ankle and
is flecked with purple clovers (�9,
thisisradish.com), while the Goldie hits
that sweet spot at mid-calf (�0).
Piercy suggests a combination of
ankle boots, a leather jacket and hoop
earrings when it comes to styling. ?I
like to balance out the prettiness of a
bold floral print,? she says. To smarten
things up add a checked blazer and
block-heeled ankle boots. Justine
Tabak?s machine-washable London
Fields dress (�5, justinetabak.co.uk)
only needs Mango?s double-breasted
jacket (�.99, mango.com) to
look office-appropriate. You should
also take a leaf out of Beckham?s
styling book, now that it?s officially
spring ? wear yours with sunglasses
and the weather might just take
the hint.
6
1G T
Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
fashion
Bring on the baby blue. I
If you think you wouldn?t be seen dead
in a sugary pink blazer, it may be time
to reconsider, says Hattie Crisell
I
T-shirt, �99, and
trousers, �.99,
both mango.com
will be honest: I?ve always
been dubious about pastels.
They?re in a category of twee
? or so I thought ? into
which I had also grouped
twinsets, cupcakes, poodles,
pi馻 coladas, social-media
accounts populated entirely
with pet pictures, framed keepsakes
that say, ?This Home Runs on Love
and Prosecco? and people who dot
their i?s with a heart.
But back to pastels. I previously
dismissed those sugary colours ?
lemon yellow, pink, sky blue ? as
unimaginative. Wearing them seemed
to be a shorthand for being
unthreateningly soft. Why else are
they the uniform of Disney Princesses
and newborn babies? So imagine my
surprise when the fashion world,
which is proud of being exhibitionist
and provocative, started throwing
itself at desaturated shades such as
pale mauve (has a colour ever sounded
less exciting?).
Ice-cream colours, as they are
often called ? and this analogy has
certainly gone some way to winning
me over ? were all the rage at the
spring/summer 2018 shows, where at
C閘ine a long pink blazer was worn
over a yellow asymmetrical pleated
skirt, for example. At Victoria
Beckham one woman wore a sleek,
lavender-hued trouser suit with a
glittery
pink purse peeping out of its
g
pocket. Preen showed translucent
dresses in pale yellow and mint
green. And with that, a seed was
sown in the minds of every
fashionista in the audience,
including mine.
Pastels don?t have to be coy
and twee at all. They can be
invigorating and fun, a
cheerful palate-cleanser after
a grey winter. Yet the key to
returning to trends that hold
unwelcome associations is always
to play against type. Be sexy,
androgynous or bohemian with
your pastels, but for God?s sake
don?t be insipid. To put it in terms
of my new favourite analogy:
please don?t be vanilla.
That?s enough don?ts. How
do we do it? At the fashion
weeks in late February and
early March the attendees
did the experimenting for
us. I liked the thinking of
Jeanette Madsen, a Danish
fashion editor who arrived
at a show wearing a matching
lilac polo neck, blazer and widelegged trousers with a crisp pink coat
and sharp white shoes ? refreshingly
no-nonsense. In London the TV
presenter Laura Jackson wore a pale
yellow trouser suit from Zara with
ankle boots, and in Paris Instagram?s
Fuzzy sweater, �,
stories.com
Be bohemian,
androgynous, but
for God?s sake
don?t be insipid
Pink cotton coat, �5,
tarajarmon.com
in-house fashion guru, Eva Chen,
arrived in a flamboyant fur coat in a
rainbow of faded hues worn over
frayed jeans. The lesson we can learn
from these women is: go as pretty as
you like with your pastel purchases,
but don?t be restricted to wearing them
in a conventionally pretty way.
As for what to buy, bear in mind that
pastels mix and match well, but can
also be worn with denim, white or
grey (or for the courageous, even with
flashes of neon). For the pinks, have a
Sao Tome and Principe:
Fantastic
break
to
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Free rainforest hike to
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This holiday is organised and operated by Far and Wild Travel. Subject to availability. Single supplements apply. Standard landline charges apply. Photo by Eric Martin.
thetimes.co.uk/deals
browse through the Parisian brand
Tara Jarmon?s selection. I?m very taken
with a floral jacquard bomber jacket
(�5) and a discotastic shimmery
shirt with a pussybow at the neck
(�5, both tarajarmon.com). Sandro?s
zip-up pink jumpsuit with a nipped-in
waist would be a fantastic party outfit
(�0, sandro-paris.com). At Uterq黣
try the draped wrap-over blouse (�,
uterque.com); at Kitri the silk T-shirt
(�, kitristudio.com); and at Whistles
a sleek column dress that knots at
he delightful
h
d li h f l tropical
i l iisles
l off S
Sao Tome
T
and Principe offer a wonderful choice for
those after an island escape off the beaten
track. Enjoy excellent hospitality, comfortable
accommodation at Omali Lodge (Sao Tome)
and in Roca Sundy and Bom Bom Resort &
Spa on Principe. Go hiking along Biosphere
trails through verdant tropical rainforests and
luxuriate on lovely beaches. In season, whales
and turtles await, too. These hidden Afrotropical gems are de? nitely worth visiting
before the masses discover them.
T
Selected departures from
May to November, 2018.
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
7
1G T
fashion
no longer pale at pastels
o
ley in Valentin
Stylist Kate Fo
Openwork sweater,
�, uterque.com
Tiffany Hsu, fashion
buying director at
mytheresa.com, in Ellery
Blogger Yoyo Cao in Sacai
the back (�9, whistles.com).
If pink accessories feel a safer
bet for you, Le Monde Beryl?s
backless Venetian slippers (of the
party-shoe variety ? do not wear
with a towelling dressing gown) come
in satin, �4, or velvet, �5 (both
matchesfashion.com). Impractical to
some, irresistible to others. Equally
whimsical and wonderful is Danse
Lente?s structured shoulder bag in
blush and burgundy (�0, net-aporter.com).
In baby blue, try Iris & Ink?s
asymmetric satin wrap dress (�5,
theoutnet.com) or Mango?s pleated
version (�.99, mango.com). Resist
black shoes and accessories, by the
way, since they can add a heaviness
to pastels that feels all wrong.
Mango has a sweet cotton T-shirt
that ties in bows on each sleeve
(�99, mango.com); try tucking it
into Arket?s pale, over-dyed jeans
in a similar blue (�, arket.com).
If this is all sounding too low-key,
have a look at Polly Plume?s
sparkly Ally ankle boots (�8,
marthalouisa.com).
In green I love the neat,
calf-length shirt dress from Cos,
which I suspect would look
particularly good on darker skin
(�, cosstores.com). Whistles
has a dressier frock in very
pretty lace that would make
good wedding-wear (�9,
whistles.com). Victoria
Beckham?s Dorothy pumps
come in a soft apple tone (�5,
marthalouisa.com); pair with
Mango?s green stone and pearl
earrings, from which dangle
two long cream tassels (�.99,
mango.com).
At & Other
Stories look for
tthe billowy floral
mididress available
m
in cornflower blue or
lemon yellow (�,
stories.com). In the
latter hue, the same
brand does a 1950s-ish,
short-sleeved satin shirt
(�). Zara has a lovely
slip dress in two-tone
pale
p yellow and blue
(�.99, zara.com),
and I?m also keen on
Saucony?s Jazz Original
Vintage trainers
V
(�, saucony.com) ?
I imagine that in the
summer months they will show
off a tanned ankle to perfection.
Lilac is a key colour for the
Danish brand Ganni, which has
rebranded the hue from ?ladies
who lunch? to ?girls who DJ in
their spare time?; in the label?s
collection you?ll find a handknitted Italian mohair jumper
(�5, ganni.com). The brand has
also launched a capsule denim
collection with Net-a-Porter:
Street-styler at London Fashion Wee
k
look for the wide-legged pastel
jeans (�5, net-a-porter.com).
You could happily tuck into them
tonall iin iice-cream shades is offbeat
Maison de Nimes?s frill-backed
enough to eradicate any hint of twee.
lavender shirt (reduced from � to
For my part, I?m going to try not to
�, houseoffraser.co.uk) and add
be so judgmental about pastels. You
Zara?s matching sharp kitten heels
will not, however, change my mind on
(�.99, zara.com). Going head-to-toe
pi馻 coladas.
Mia shoulder bag,
�0, Danse Lente at
net-a-porter.com
Two-tone pleated
dress, �.99,
zara.com
Leather court shoes,
�.99, zara.com
Dorothy pumps, �5,
Victoria Beckham at
marthalouisa.com
Fringe earrings,
�.99, mango.com
Jazz Original Vintage
trainers, �,
saucony.com
Ally glitter boots,
�8, Polly Plume at
marthalouisa.com
8
1G T
Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
arts
?I have done Prospero,
Falstaff, Lear. I?m not
sure where I go next?
Antony Sher talks
to Nancy Durrant
about ageing,
mortality and
never growing up
P
art of the way into
Antony Sher?s new book,
Year of the Mad King: the
Lear Diaries, we find the
great classical actor on
holiday, whale watching
in his native South
Africa with his elder
sister Verne. It is Verne?s 70th birthday
and she is dying. She has cancer of
the colon and liver and is too weak to
join her brother outside, so is watching
the animals from the bay window of
her hotel room. It?s late September
2015 ? four months since Sher?s civil
partner (later husband), the Royal
Shakespeare Company?s artistic
director Greg Doran, first left a script
of King Lear on the couple?s kitchen
table with a note: ?This is yours.? It is,
however, almost a year before press
night of the production in which Sher
first steps on to the boards as the
misguided monarch.
?If I had to sum up the chief
sensation I get from the play,? Sher
writes that night, ?it?s of the fragility of
human life, the smell of mortality.
Well, here I am, back at home in
South Africa, right up against it, the
reality of that fragility, that mortality.
And, surprisingly, it?s not only
frightening and awful. It also has, like
this image of Verne sitting in the
window above me ? and like the play
? a strange beauty.?
Year of the Mad King is the third of
Sher?s theatre diaries. Year of the King,
published in 1985, chronicled his
playing of Richard III, for which he
won a Laurence Olivier award, and
Year of the Fat Knight: The Falstaff
Diaries (2015) followed him as he
transformed himself into
Shakespeare?s biggest bullshitter.
The new book follows the gestation
process of the RSC?s production of
Lear, which Doran directed and of
which The Times?s critic wrote: ?At
its best, it casts a spell over the
audience, draws you in, makes you feel
that Lear is a real man and (scarily)
that we can see our world in his.? It
also details Sher?s laborious line
learning (while also, at the start of the
diary, playing Willy Loman in Arthur
Miller?s Death of a Salesman, and then
going on tour as Falstaff in Henry IV,
Part 1 and Part 2).
It is also shot through with deep
sadness. Over the course of the book
Sher loses not only his sister, but also
his sister-in-law Yvette, friends and
colleagues: Alan Rickman, Roger Rees,
Alan Howard, the director Alan
Dossor, the RSC?s head of music Guy
Woolfenden. The narrative is
constantly interrupted by death.
Which, considering Lear is so clearly
about the horror of ageing and loss ?
of power, of control, of people ? is
strikingly uncomfortable.
?Sometimes the things that are
happening in your life become like
research material,? Sher says when I
meet him at a pub near the home he
shares with Doran in Islington, north
London (they also have a house in
Stratford-upon-Avon). He has been
rehearsing near by for the revival of
Lear, which will tour to New York next
month before returning for a farewell
run in Stratford. ?In this case, it was
too close for comfort, some of the stuff
Antony Sher?s drawing
of himself as King Lear
Acting
keeps you
young.
That?s why
Gielgud
was doing
it at 96
that was happening was simply too
painful, but in the end, whether you?re
an actor or a musician or a painter,
these things do feed into your work
because your work is about
interpreting the human experience.?
His own ageing is a constant theme
? Sher will be 69 in June, and during
the diary he is plagued by a damaged
shoulder (he has since had the joint
replaced: ?When I go through airport
security I have to have a letter from
my specialist because it sets off the
alarm?) and an intermittent deafness
that he comes to call Lear?s Ear. Does
he think he?s old, I ask him.
?Well I feel quite creaky these days,?
he concedes. ?There is a stage in
theatre when you start a new job and
you look round the room and there
seem to be these 12-year-olds that are
the rest of the cast, but it?s also what?s
good about acting ? it keeps you
young; that?s why John Gielgud was
acting a few weeks before he died at
the age of 96. It keeps you curious, you
constantly have to investigate new
things. But your body gets more
fragile. Luckily in this part it?s fine, I
can use it all.? At least the big grey
beard he?s sporting is useful, although
he says there?s a length after which it
means cab drivers think he?s a tramp
and refuse to stop.
Lear?s Ear, he believes by the end
of the diary, is caused by anxiety ?
a mixture of grief and fear over the
mammoth role ? although when
we meet he admits it hasn?t yet gone
away. ?When the specialist said it
could be psychosomatic, although it
was startling, it was liberating.
Immediately it just became easier, and
although it was still there, there was
something about knowing that it
wasn?t a real problem, I got used to it.?
He started learning Lear more than
a year in advance ? not something he
has always done, he says, but again,
?that?s age. I?ve simply no idea how as
a younger actor you didn?t learn lines
until rehearsals. Now I do it extra
early; I like to know them inside out.?
He?s careful not to flesh out the role
in advance, though. ?I make a strict
rule of learning in neutral. You cannot
start interpreting the lines. You don?t
want to block off any of the creative
process that will happen with the
other actors and the director. It?s the
swotting for school exam part of it
that you want to do.?
He can?t tell me how he managed to
keep all those huge roles in his brain
at once ? a situation he describes in
the book as the characters ?sharing
digs in my head?.
?I think somebody should do a study
on actors, because throughout Willy
Loman I was learning Lear, and
Falstaff is effectively two parts, so I
had these four huge roles in my head
? what a computer the human brain
is!? he says. ?But you know, as an
actor, you learn these great parts, but
your brain, if you?re not going to play
them again, presses the delete button,
and it?s gone. I could not quote Willy
Loman to you now.?
The book isn?t all grief and fear. As
well as a fascinating insight into the
creation of a key production ?
figuring out how the Fool ought to be
played, for example (there are a few
testy exchanges about that, Sher
having played the role twice before,
and Doran seemingly being a mine of
information about every other way it
has been done. ?God, I hate Greg?s
encyclopaedic knowledge of RSC
productions,? Sher grumbles at one
point); or how a Lear with a dodgy
arm might carry in the dead Cordelia
? there are happy moments too. Sher
accidentally proposes to Doran over
lunch at the Wolseley restaurant in
London (?I suddenly said, ?I was
wondering if we should get
married . . .?? Greg looked up in
surprise, then said, ?I?m sorry ?
is this you proposing to me?? ?).
The book is illustrated with images
of Sher?s sketches and paintings of
himself and others, and the actor?s
slightly naughty, schoolboyish sense
of humour also sneaks through.
On a trip to Italy, the couple
spend the 29th anniversary of their
relationship soaking with friends
at the Saturnia Thermal Springs,
the water of which contains little
brown clumps of plankton. ?We
lunch at the poolside restaurant,?
Sher writes. ?When the group toasts
our anniversary, Janice [Honeyman,
the director] adds, ?And what a way
to spend it, hey, boys?? ?Indeed,?
I answer, ?in a big warm bath with
loved ones and a few floating turds.? ?
Perhaps he has, as he says in the
book, never quite grown up. When the
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
9
1G T
GETTY IMAGES; ANTONY SHER
As a young
actor you
don?t learn
lines until
rehearsals.
Now I do it
extra early
producer Thelma Holt sees him at the
show?s first preview, he writes, she
?said she?d never before seen the part
played in a way where she could
glimpse the young Lear in the old
man. I never intended that, but other
people have mentioned the same thing
in my recent roles, so it seems to have
become a kind of signature. The boy in
the man. Well, it?s how I am in life.?
Is that true still? ?I think so,? he says.
?There was something about growing
up in Cape Town, and the UK being
such a mythic place. My parents used
this word ?overseas?, and then I
travelled, and on the first night in
London I went to the Royal
Court Theatre! I?d been
reading about this place
in the magazine Plays
and Players ? I
subscribed and they
were like precious
things that arrived
each month ? and
then that first
weekend in the
UK, travelling
up to Stratford,
it was like
travelling to a
mythic place.
Part of me has
remained that
little boy in
Cape Town,
being amazed att
this overseas.?
What?s next,
post-Lear? He doesn?tt
know. ?I have spent
most of my life as a
classical actor and the
Shakespeare parts, they
are finished now,? he
says. The playwright
wrote three great roles
for older actors, he
Antony Sher as King
Lear and, below, with
his husband, Gregory
Doran, the artistic
director of the RSC
thinks, ?and I?ve done them: Prospero,
Falstaff and Lear, so I?m not quite sure
where I go next?. Recently he was
quoted as suggesting that he might
play Cleopatra ? recounting a
conversation that he had in the
mid-1990s with Adrian Noble, then
artistic director of the RSC, and
remembered in the book. He liked the
idea of playing her as a ?battered old
queen? in both senses of the word.
I ask him how it might work. ?You?d
make her very glamorous in a drag
way, then you?d show her without
make-up, all smudged and awful and
having a fag. It could have been
interesting,? he says. ?It?s only because
I?ve been offered Antony several times
and felt I couldn?t play him. He?s
got to be so massive, he?s a colossus.
And I guess it?s also this impression
that hers is the part and that I?d rather
play her.? But he?s too old now in
any case, he says. ?Please don?t make
this sound serious!?
More than once in the book he
intimates that his acting days
might be done. I ask whether
he really thinks that. ?I?m
Geminian so I?m allowed
two contradictory points of
view,? he tells me after a
short pause. ?In the past
I have thought, ?Right,
that?s it, I?m not doing
any more acting.? And
tthen after a few months
I get to miss it.? I think
we?d probably all miss it.
w
Year of the Mad King:
Y
The Lear Diaries is
T
published by Nick Hearn
Books, �.99. King Lear
B
iis at the Brooklyn Academy
of Music, New York, from
April 7-29, then at the RSC,
A
Stratford-upon-Avon, from
S
May 23-June 9; rsc.org.uk
arts
The sound pioneer who
heard worlds within worlds
When I hear the music of Hull?s most
famous sons and daughters ?
Michael Chapman, David Whitfield,
the Beautiful South, Mick Ronson
and the Watersons ? I don?t hear the
flat panorama of Yorkshire?s East
Riding. Chapman may have sung
the blunt, bleak Postcards of
Scarborough, but the Humber
estuary doesn?t sing out to me on
Rebel Rebel or Bell Bottomed Tear.
The pioneering English composer
Basil Kirchin?s music is entirely
different and was the subject of a
dedicated sold-out weekend in
February last year, part of the Hull
UK City of Culture events
programme. Originally a big-band
drummer in his father?s band,
Kirchin, below, wrote several terrific
film scores (The Abominable Dr
Phibes, The Shuttered Room, I Start
Counting) and made a handful of
extraordinary experimental albums
in the early Seventies. Kirchin was
born in Blackpool and spent some
years in London, Australia and
Switzerland, but eventually settled in
Hull, where he died in 2005.
Taking a drive down the west side
of the River Hull, past the surviving
mills and factories, the first sound
that pops into my head is that of
Kirchin?s masterly Abstractions of the
Industrial North album. Using the
non-obvious instrumentation of
harpsichord, marimba and penny
whistle, the opening Prelude and
Dawn is the definitive sound of urban
East Yorkshire.
For Hull
2017 I was
commissioned
to make a short
Kirchin-inspired
film called
Abstractions
of Holderness.
My co-director,
Esther Johnson,
and I shot
the isolated
peninsula east
of the Humber
bridge, between
Bridlington to the
north and Spurn
Head to the south.
Holderness has
abandoned shacks,
a crumbling
coastline, the weary seaside towns
of Hornsea and Withernsea,
lighthouses, sound mirrors and
pillboxes ? all of which Kirchin
would have known well and absorbed
into his music; before moving to Hull
he spent several years in Hornsea.
Kirchin?s home was empty and
overgrown when we filmed, his
studio room cobwebbed and long
abandoned. The music for the film
was written by my Saint Etienne
bandmate Pete Wiggs and played live
in Hull City Hall ? to our disbelief
and delight ? by the BBC Concert
Orchestra, along with several of
Kirchin?s jazz colleagues.
I interviewed Kirchin for The Times
in 2003, and he was the single most
inspiring interviewee I?ve met.
Nearing the end of his life, he wanted
to explain, inside an hour, what he
had learnt in his seven-plus decades.
First, he told me, the first thought is
the best thought. Second ? and this is
what he spent a lifetime getting across
in his music ? there are worlds
within worlds. A bee, for instance, is
living in a parallel, but quite different
world from us, much faster. How
would it hear sound or relate to it?
In the late Sixties Kirchin got a
Nagra tape recorder and this enabled
him to explore his theory. He could
discover previously unheard sounds
? boulders of sound, as he called
them ? by recording birds, trams,
children, whatever took his fancy,
and playing the recordings back at a
fraction of their original speed.
This may be easy and seem obvious
in 2018, but it was entirely new at the
turn of the Seventies. The journalist
Richard Williams and the musician
Brian Eno were among his acolytes
on a brace of albums both called
Worlds Within Worlds. They have
become rare and expensive, but
Quantum ? easier to come across ?
uses similar techniques, with an
eerie spoken intro by Kirchin?s wife,
Esther, over a simple organ drone.
?Something special will happen,? she
whispers and, if the listener is
patient, Quantum is truly special. We
hear a bird appearing to sing God
Save the Queen ? and is that a lion,
or is it something Kirchin heard and
captured at Hull docks? He also
recorded the voices of autistic
children, who were taught by his wife
and whose unique use of language
fascinated him.
This is beautiful
and
a unique music,
but
b at entry level
I?d
I recommend
Charcoal
C
Sketches,
a short
S
series
of tunes he
s
wrote
apparently
w
as
a a blueprint
for
f Quantum,
which include
w
manipulated
m
birdsong over
b
ssome gorgeous
melodies,
m
eevocative of the
landscape of the
la
Holderness
H
peninsula. On
p
tthe sweeter side
of the Kirchin
o
Startt C
Counting, a film
sound is I St
soundtrack that has just been made
commercially available by Kirchin?s
main cheerleader, Trunk Records.
There is also a Kirchin documentary,
Mind on the Run, directed by Matt
Stephenson, that tells his story with
vim and great humour.
His name may not be that familiar
outside of the worlds of free jazz and
soundtrack obsessives, but I?d rate
Basil Kirchin very highly indeed.
British sound pioneers such as Joe
Meek and Delia Derbyshire are close
to household names; given a little
more exposure, Kirchin?s adventures
in sound should soon be talked of
with similar reverence.
Bob Stanley
Abstractions of Holderness and Mind
on the Run will be screened at
Regent Street Cinema, London W1,
on April 26
10
1G T
Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
television & radio
A descent into mayhem when Mum walks out
STEFFAN HILL/BBC
James
Jackson
TV review
Come Home
BBC One
{{{{(
One Strange Rock
National Geographic
{{{{(
A
mother who walks out on
her children is committing
a taboo act of parenting,
and one not often depicted
on screen. Perhaps that?s
because it?s such a problematic one. In
depicting the shock this action has on
the kids, it?s hard not to paint the mum
as the very thing held against her by
society: that she?s unacceptably selfish.
In Come Home, though, the writer
Danny Brocklehurst is having a decent
crack at tackling this messy ground,
presenting a finely wrought study of
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Boswell?s Lives
Radio 4, 11.30am
This week Boswell, traveller
through time and space,
?immortal biographer? of
Dr Johnson and others, is
in London in 1931 with
Mahatma Gandhi (Phaldut
Sharma). It?s not only
Gandhi who pops up. As it
is 1931, this is London, and
Boswell goes out roistering,
this drama falls under the
First Law of Historical
1930s dramas ? a law as
unbreakable as the First
Law of Thermodynamics.
Namely, that no one can get
to the end of an episode
about the 1930s without
meeting Edward VIII. Or, as
Boswell discreetly calls him,
?the Abdicator?.
Memphis and Martin
Luther King
Radio 2, 10pm
In the 1920s bluesmen sang
of their despair that, despite
having fought in America?s
wars and grown its crops,
they were still called ?boy?.
By the 1960s things had, if
anything, got worse in the
southern states, and men
were humiliated and
abused. As one put it, ?They
wouldn?t treat me like a
man.? This programme
looks at the abuses and
violations at the events
leading up to Martin Luther
King?s assassination.
a family?s damaged psychology, albeit
amplified with the kind of angsty
melodrama you tend to get in BBC
working-class dramas. Put it this way,
Kramer vs Kramer did this stuff
without Dustin Hoffman also taking a
mad lover whom he had to rescue from
a neanderthal husband in the night.
Yet there?s a concern for character
that sucks you in, helped by much
knockout acting ? Christopher
Eccleston clearly can?t put in a
performance that?s anything less than
towering, even one where you spend
the first five minutes trying to adjust
to his Belfast accent. His Greg is a mess
of floundering emotions, struggling to
cope as a now-single dad to three kids.
During a neatly observed date from
hell, he rambled exposition at the
woman in front of him/TV audience:
?Now you?re thinking, ?What could be
so bad about this man that a woman
would do such an unforgivable thing??
I?ve asked myself this for the past 11
months.? What indeed? We?ve barely
been teased about why his wife, Marie,
has gone (flashbacks to a pregnancy
test suggested much), and when we
hear Marie?s side of the story next week
there?s the potential for the series to be
an exercise in shifting sympathies.
So far, however, this was all about
Greg as a decent but blundering wreck.
After his date swiftly left, he was beaten
up by the husband of his sandwich
lady before ending up in bed with the
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Jordan
North 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Jordan North
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The 8th with Charlie
Sloth 11.00 Huw Stephens 1.00am Benji B
3.00 Radio 1 Comedy: Niki and Sammy?s
Peachy Podcast 4.00 Radio 1?s Early
Breakfast Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 The Folk Show with Mark
Radcliffe 8.00 Jo Whiley. Music and chat
10.00 Memphis & Martin Luther King:
?They Wouldn?t Treat Me Like a Man?.
A unique look at the assassination of Martin
Luther King in 1968. See Radio Choice
11.00 Old Grey Whistle Test 40 (r) 12.00
Pick of the Pops (r) 2.00am Radio 2
Playlists: Country Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 Nicki Chapman
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
With the writer and illustrator Judith Kerr
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Gesualdo (1566-1613)
Donald Macleod continues his look at the life
and music of Carlo Gesualdo, Prince of
Venosa, and examines a time when he began
to develop his own particular style. Gesualdo
(Moro, e mentre spiro; Quando di lui ha
sospirata vita; Ecco, moriro dunque; Ahi, gia
mi discoloro; Illumina faciem tuam;
Tribulationem et dolorem; Laboravi in gemitu
meo; Sospirava il mio core; O mal nati
messaggi; Se piange, oime, la Donna del mio
core; Io tacero, ma nel silenzio mio; Invan,
dunque, o crudele; O vos omnes; Exaudi,
Deus, deprecationem meam; Venit lumen
tuum; and Correte, amanti)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Malcolm Martineau, Simon Keenlyside,
Dorothea Roschmann perform. Presented by
Gareth Williams. Schubert (Liebesbotschaft;
Kriegers Ahnung; Der Atlas; Am Meer;
St鋘dchen; Mignon Lieder; An den Mond in
einer Herbstnacht; Der Wanderer; Geheimes;
Das Fischerm鋎chen; and Abschied)
Christopher Eccleston as the mechanic and single father Greg
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Georgia Mann presents the Netherlands
Radio Philharmonic Orchestra, with Karin
Strobos (mezzo), from the 2017 Robeco
SummerNights festival in Amsterdam.
Copland (Fanfare for the Common Man); Joey
Roukens (Chase); Mozart (Overture: Parto,
parto ? La Clemenza di Tito, K621); Rossini
(Overture: Una voce poco fa ? The Barber of
Seville); Shostakovich (Romance ? The
Gad?y); Strauss (Till Eulenspiegels lustige
Streiche); Falla (Seguidillas; Farruca; and
Jota ? The Three-Cornered Hat ? Suite No
2); Bizet (Pr鑣 des remparts de S関ille; and
Les tringles des sistres tintaient ? Carmen);
and Arturo M醨quez (Danz髇 2)
3.30 Live Choral Evensong
The Of?ce of Tenebrae for Holy Week live
from Westminster Cathedral, with the
master of music Martin Baker, and the
organ scholar Jonathan Allsopp
4.30 New Generation Artists
Performances recorded recently at the
Ryedale Festival?s ?Spring Weekend? by
the Arod Quartet and the Scottish mezzo
Catriona Morison. Webern (Langsamer Satz);
Brahms (Songs: Auf dem Kirchhofe, Die
Mainacht, Botschaft, Sapphische Ode;
and St鋘dchen); and Bach (Arioso)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty?s guests include the
bass-baritone Ashley Riches
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
Music by Part, Ligeti and Bj鰎k
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Robin Ticciati comes to the end of his tenure
with the Scottish Chamber Orchestra as
Principal Conductor since 2009. His ?nal
concert features the orchestra?s principal
clarinettist Maximiliano Martin. Presented
by Kate Molleson. Bach (Orchestral Suite
No 4 in D); Copland (Clarinet Concerto);
and Dvorak (Symphony No 9 in E minor ?
From the New World)
10.00 Free Thinking Festival
The journalist and broadcaster Yasmin
Alibhai-Brown, the writer and broadcaster
Afua Hirsch and the primary school teacher
Tarjinder Wilkinson debate activism, social
change and Britishness with Philip Dodd
10.45 The Essay:
Is Music a Civilising Force?
Professor Ko? Agawu of Princeton University
examines the civilising force of music
from an African perspective
11.00 Late Junction
Max Reinhardt presents a collection of ?eld
recordings made at the abandoned NSA
listening post Field Station in Berlin
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Brie?ng
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
With Sarah Montague and Justin Webb
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Only Artists
With Maxine Peake and Cosey Fanni Tutti.
Last in the series
9.30 You?re Doing it Wrong
Adam Buxton explores the decline of the
?traditional family model? (5/5)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 The Channel
Alba Arikha re?ects on her childhood
experiences of crossing the Channel (3/5)
10.00 Woman?s Hour
Discussion and interviews with Jane Garvey.
Including at 10.41 the 15 Minute Drama:
Part three of Lucy Gannon?s drama Judas
10.56 The Listening Project
A mother and daughter discuss being in
touch with the son and brother they
never knew
11.00 On and Off the Valley Lines
Stories of the people who live along the
South Wales Valleys rail network (3/3)
11.30 Boswell?s Lives
Comedy series written by Jon Canter.
See Radio Choice (4/4)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Katie Hims
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Encounters
Two people share their opposing views on
dangerous dogs (3/4) (r)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Tommies
By Nick Warburton. The British Army?s
retreat in the face of an unexpected German
advance escalates (2/4)
3.00 Money Box Live
With Adam Shaw
3.30 Inside Health (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
Thought-provoking issues
4.30 The Media Show
Topical programme about all forms of media
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O?Clock News
6.30 It?s Not What You Know
Joe Lycett hosts the panel game with Russell
Kane, Fern Britton and Ivo Graham (4/4)
lush . He then invited her to live with
him and his deeply distressed kids.
Because that?s what you?d do, right?
Greg is a turmoil of desperate
actions, like the series; the end credits?
preview looked ahead to bombshells
and blood-smeared faces. Will there
be any hope for these lost souls?
It?s hard to think of a series that
makes Planet Earth look small-fry ?
actually there isn?t one, but One
Strange Rock comes mighty close. A
scientific-astronomical-anthropological
vision of our planet from director
Darren Aronofsky, this new series is
hardcore spectacle and then some, the
logical conclusion of what those
National Geographic magazines in the
dentist?s waiting room could be.
Its unique perspective is offered
not by Will Smith cheerfully booming,
?This might be the weirdest place
in the whole universe!? but by the
God?s-eye view of Earth offered by
Zen-astronaut Chris Hadfield, calmly
describing the blueness of Earth, man,
and the importance of diatoms.
Diatoms? Put it this way, that breath
you just took wouldn?t happen without
trillions of these oceanic organisms,
which are fed by collapsing glaciers,
caused by rain from the Amazon and
fertilised by Ethiopian dust in an
eternal macro-planetary cycle. Frankly,
the only reaction to it all was ?wooaah?,
and a new appreciation of plankton.
james.jackson@thetimes.co.uk
7.00 The Archers
The Aldridges implode
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 Judas
By Lucy Gannon (3/5) (r)
8.00 The Moral Maze
Combative, provocative and engaging debate
chaired by Michael Buerk (8/8)
8.45 Lent Talks
Different faiths offer opinions of Christ (6/6)
9.00 Costing the Earth
Tom Heap asks how dangerous plastic
micro?bres from clothes are (r)
9.30 Only Artists (5/5) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Ritula Shah
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Reservoir 13
By Jon McGregor. The police seize the
school caretaker?s computer, which might
hold vital clues (8/10)
11.00 Sophie Willan?s
Guide to Normality
The comedian takes a look at
how ?normal? it is to have a job (2/4)
11.15 The John Moloney Show
More comedy from the stand-up star?s
performance in Edinburgh (3/4) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Political news presented by Sean Curran
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am The Channel (3/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 Round the
Horne 9.00 Many a Slip 9.30 Life, Death and
Sex with Mike and Sue 10.00 The Great
Scott 11.00 Goodnight, Vienna 11.15
Quartet 12.00 The Navy Lark 12.30pm
Round the Horne 1.00 The Unpleasantness
at the Bellona Club 1.30 Asian Weddings:
Something Gold, Nothing Borrowed,
Everything New 2.00 The Norfolk Mystery
2.15 Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen?s History of
Home 2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45
Hellhound on His Trail 3.00 The Great Scott
4.00 Many a Slip 4.30 Life, Death and Sex
with Mike and Sue 5.00 Ring Around the
Bath 5.30 It?s Not What You Know 6.00 The
Willows 6.30 The Tingle Factor. Michael
Winner discusses music that provokes an
emotional response 7.00 The Navy Lark.
Comedy with Jon Pertwee 7.30 Round the
Horne. Kenneth Horne Master Spy gets an
Eiffel, while Julian and Sandy offer some
Bona Pets. Comedy with Kenneth Horne
8.00 The Unpleasantness at the Bellona
Club. By Dorothy L Sayers 8.30 Asian
Weddings: Something Gold, Nothing
Borrowed, Everything New. The customs and
traditions associated with British Asian
weddings 9.00 Goodnight, Vienna. A Bird in
Vienna. By Louise Stern 9.15 Quartet. By
Donna Franceschild 10.00 Comedy Club: It?s
Not What You Know 10.30 The Secret World
10.55 The Comedy Club Interview
11.00 As Told to Craig Brown 11.30 The
Consultants. Comedy sketch show
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show with Sam Walker 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00
5 Live Sport 8.00 5 Live Sport. A review of
the recent international football friendlies
10.00 5 Live Sport: Rugby Union Weekly
10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with David Ginola 10.00 Jim White, Tony
Cascarino and Bob Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee
and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and
Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00
Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Mary Anne Hobbs
1.00am You?ll Never Be 16 Again 2.00 The
Upsetter: Lee ?Scratch? Perry in His Own
Words 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music?s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert. Jane Jones
discusses the Budapest Festival Orchestra.
Rachmaninov (Vocalise Opus 34 No.13);
Dvor醟 (Symphony No.9 in E minor Opus 95
? ?From the New World?); Beethoven
(Piano Concerto No.4 in G minor Opus 58);
and Kodaly (Hary Janos Suite) 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
11
1G T
artsfirst night
HUGO GLENDINNING
Comedy
Jason Manford
Colosseum, Watford
Theatre
Songs for Nobodies
Wilton?s Music Hall, E1
W
I
{{{((
hat happens when you
grow up working class,
but you end up doing
so well for yourself
that you raise five
children on a diet of hummus and
crudit閟? In his new touring stand-up
show, Muddle Class, Jason Manford
tells us how he spends half his time
these days being heckled by his
brother, a plumber, for having grown
highfalutin and entitled and the other
half being sneered at in shoe shops by
middle-class mums who think he?s
letting his children run amok. He?s
neither one thing nor the other.
An always affable stage presence,
the 36-year-old Mancunian rules his
gigs with a gentle smile that conceals
a rod of comedic iron. He knows what
he?s about. He starts by mockapologising to the punters still filing in
for starting the show bang on time.
He itemises the show?s length (two
and a half hours) and themes (class,
plus a notion, taken from Will Storr?s
book Selfie, that our brains are split
into our idealised versions of ourselves
and the real selves that struggle to live
up to those aspirations). He is so in
control of the agenda that he is even
there in the background in the
interval, during which are piped songs
from his recent album of show tunes.
The result is as consistently
entertaining as it is well marshalled.
Manford is adroitly witty and genially
inclusive. He has fun with his weight,
his skewed self-perception and his
fruitless attempts to perfect himself.
He deploys his intelligence with a light
touch as he talks about political
correctness, his upbringing on a Moss
Side council estate, working at Asda
and wanting to give his children all the
advantages without spoiling them.
The show falters only near the end,
as it becomes apparent that the smart
themes don?t build to much, that they
are there to sell some always adept,
sometimes personal, but never wildly
surprising material about success and
parenthood. Manford, in short, is
a total pro. No bursts of genius, but
not a single flat patch either.
Dominic Maxwell
Touring to Dec 19, jasonmanford.com
{{{{(
The monks of the Shaolin Temple in Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui?s production, marking its tenth birthday
Get your kicks here
East meets
West in this
dazzling kungfu show with
the Shaolin
monks, says
Debra Craine
Dance
Sutra
Sadler?s Wells
{{{{{
Royal Academy private view
Subscribers can join us on April 3 for
a private view of Charles I: King and
Collector at the Royal Academy of
Arts. Visit mytimesplus.co.uk
I
n the 20 years since Sadler?s Wells
was reborn as a new home for
dance there have been numerous
hits on its spacious rebuilt stage,
but few have matched the allure of
Sutra. First seen in 2008, and marking
its tenth anniversary with a revival on
the stage where it had its premiere,
this inspired collaboration remains
one of the most engaging and
enjoyable creations of the past decade.
Directed and choreographed by the
Belgian Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui, designed
by the British sculptor Antony
Gormley and performed by the
kung-fu fighting monks of the Shaolin
Temple in Dengfeng, China, it?s a
wondrous confrontation of cultures.
And in effect that?s what Cherkaoui
plays up in his West-meets-East
scenario. We have a hapless European,
here portrayed by Ali Thabet, who is
introduced to the exotic world of
19 Chinese monks who are masters of
discipline and virtuosos in the martial
arts. Thabet is the archetypal
westerner, out of his depth as he tries
to insinuate himself into the monks?
tightly knit, highly trained world. It?s
a hopeless endeavour and the source
of much enlivening humour.
Key to the success of Sutra (which
means thread) is Gormley?s designs.
They are not stage decorations in the
conventional sense, but part of the
architecture of the dance. Gormley
fills the stage with five-sided wooden
boxes (60cm x 60cm x 180cm) that
become beds, coffins, bathtubs,
bookshelves, plinths, lifeboats, walls
and even giant dominoes. The monks
manipulate the boxes, balance on
top of them and crash to the floor.
They crawl into their tiny confined
spaces and carry their weight on
their shoulders ? they are fearless
in their interaction with Gormley?s
building blocks. Szymon Brzoska?s
music, played by an onstage band, is
haunting and a touch melancholic;
perfectly atmospheric.
On opening night Thabet?s guide
on his journey of discovery was an
adorable pint-sized child monk, Xing
Kaishuo, aged eight. Already he?s an
extraordinary mover who outpaces
Thabet (an amusingly awestruck
performance) in every way; their
man-boy relationship is one of the
show?s most delightful aspects.
The energy and agility of the monks
? scary-strong, stunning acrobats ?
is incredible as they segue from
aggressive fighting moves to seamless
arcs of dance. The amazing backflips
and flying kicks are to be expected,
less so the ferocious grace displayed
by the monks. Sutra, a Sadler?s Wells
commission, has been performed in
33 countries ? how fantastic to
welcome it home again.
Box office: 020 7863 8000, tonight
was sceptical when I sat down in
the too-close chairs that seem
determined to mimic aircraft
economy class (where?s my neck
pillow, I thought). This is billed as
a new play by Joanna Murray-Smith
from Melbourne, but it looks
suspiciously like a tribute show to five
singers: Judy Garland, Patsy Cline,
蒬ith Piaf, Billie Holiday and Maria
Callas.
I am allergic to tribute shows,
though, and, happily, this is miles
better. Murray-Smith has written
a clutch of intriguing mini-plays (they
are too intricate to be mere vignettes)
in which a ?nobody? meets a
?somebody?. It provides a flash of
knowing and feels very intimate.
First up is Bea Appleton, lavatory
attendant, who is in tears because
her man has just left her for a
waitress on Eighth Avenue in New
York. She?s working at the Plaza
Ath閚閑 in April 1961, the night of
Garland?s Carnegie Hall concert. She
notices that Garland?s hem has come
undone. She and Garland start
chatting and the conversation turns
to men, of course.
Bernadette Robinson plays both
women and it works because she
convinces as both and treats each with
equal respect. She sings, with all the
mannerisms that Garland fans know,
Come Rain or Come Shine. It?s showbiz,
it?s Judy, but it?s not shlock.
Next up is Pearl Avalon, an
usherette at the Soldiers and Sailors
Memorial Building in Kansas City.
She?s a bit of a singer herself and is
thrilled when she meets Cline, the
country great whose voice was as big
as the prairie. With Piaf, the nobody
is a librarian from near Nottingham
whose dad was in the French
Resistance and met Piaf when she
sang for them (L?Accord閛niste). It?s
a fabulous story (and funny), so I
won?t spoil it. Then there?s Holiday,
introduced by a go-get-?em reporter
on The New York Times whose name
is Too Junior Jones.
The set, by Justin Nardella, is a
simple circle, lit up with lights, with
the small (but brill) band behind: it?s
versatile and uncluttered. Simon
Phillips directs and so he will know
that the least convincing vignette, by
far, is the last, in which an Irish lass
named Orla finds herself on board
Aristotle Onassis?s yacht with Callas.
That one needs work, but the rest are
the (show) biz.
Ann Treneman
Box office: 020 7702 2789, to April 7
Ektertaikmekts
Theatres
HER MAJESTY'S 020 7087 7762
THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
THE PHANTOM OF
THE OPERA
Mon-Sat 7.30, Thu & Sat 2.30
www.ThePhantonOfTheOpera.com
Book your advertisement or
announcement now at:
thetimes.co.uk/ advertise
QUEEN'S
0844 482 5160
The Musical Phenomenon
LES MIS蒖ABLES
Eves 7.30, Mats Wed & Sat 2.30
www.LesMis.com
St Martin's
020 7836 1443
66th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
Mon-Sat 7.30, Tues & Thu 3, Sat 4
www.the-mousetrap.co.uk
Vaudeville Theatre 0330 333 4814
Oscar Wilde's LADY
WINDERMERE'S
FAN
Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Thu & Sat 2.30
Classicspring.co.uk
Please be adv
calls to the
en
can cost up to
mikute plus y
provider?s cos
12
1G T
Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Football?s Foreign
Legion
ITV4, 9pm
In October
2017 the
International
Centre for
Sports Studies? Football
Observatory revealed
that foreign players
accounted for 61.2 per
Early
Top
pick
cent of minutes played
in the Premier League.
Chelsea and Arsenal
led the way with
90.4 per cent and
84.1 per cent
respectively. It hasn?t
always been this way.
There wasn?t an influx
of players coming to ply
their trade until 1978,
when the EEC voted
that nationality should
not be an issue. And it
was Tottenham Hotspur
who led the charge,
with a double swoop
for Ossie Ardiles and
Ricky Villa, who had
just helped Argentina
to win the World Cup
final. ?Spurs Scoop
the World,? ran the
headline on the back
of the Daily Express.
Forty years on,
this entertaining
documentary, narrated
by Todd Carty (aka
Grange Hill?s Tucker
Jenkins), catches up
with some of those
trailblazing players.
?A lot of people said
to me, ?No, Ossie, don?t
go to England because
they don?t really play
football,? ? Ardiles
recalls. ?But I thought,
?We will see about
that.? ? Not everyone
rolled out the red
carpet ? as well as
bureaucracy, there
were dodgy pitches
and even dodgier
tackles to overcome.
However, it wasn?t all
one-way traffic, with
Kevin Keegan heading
to Germany, where
he became a star on
and off the pitch.
Journalists, including
Robert Peston and
Patrick Barclay, also
contribute, revealing
how football?s first
foreign legion affected
the game and society.
Mission: Kill
Hitler
Yesterday, 8pm
The most famous failed
attempt to assassinate
Adolf Hitler is the July
1944 plot, depicted in
the 2008 Tom Cruise
film Valkyrie. Less well
known was Operation
Foxley, in which the
F黨rer was to be killed
by agents of the British
Special Operations
Executive during his
daily morning walk
at his Bavarian
residence. The mission
remained a secret until
the early 1990s, and
this documentary,
based on the British
Secret Service?s
declassified documents,
uses dramatic
reconstructions to
tell the story and
reveal why it too
ended in failure.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back the Years. Ainsley
Harriott looks at different ways to stay happy as you get
older (r) (AD) 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer.
Properties in south Wales, Shropshire and east London (r)
11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming. The of?cers confront a
man who has not paid the rent he owes to a single
mother (r) 11.45 Claimed and Shamed. A pair of
motorists confess to claiming for the same damage twice
12.15pm Bargain Hunt. From the East of England
Showground in Peterborough (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC News at
One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45
Doctors. Mrs Tembe has to deal with a theft at Campus,
and a conversation with Joni?s father makes Daniel
question what he knows (AD) 2.15 A Place to Call Home.
George and Sarah contemplate a suitable grave site for
Regina. Last in the series 3.05 Escape to the Country.
Alistair Appleton helps a couple search for a property in
the Cotswolds (r) (AD) 3.45 Money for Nothing.
Transforming items reclaimed from Woking Recycling
Centre 4.30 Flog It! From Powderham Castle near Exeter
(r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show (r) 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am The Repair Shop (r) 6.30 Money for Nothing (r)
7.15 Escape to the Country (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign Zone:
Great British Railway Journeys (r) (AD, SL) 8.30 Classic
Mary Berry (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00
BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm FILM:
Wuthering Heights (U, 1939) A homeless boy taken
in by a family develops an obsessive lifelong bond with
his adoptive sister. Period drama based on Emily Bront�s
novel with Merle Oberon and Laurence Olivier (b/w) 2.40
Monty Halls? Great Irish Escape. Monty Halls tries to
retrieve a vital piece of equipment from the seabed (r)
(AD) 3.40 Blitz Cities. Myleene Klass explores the effect
the Blitz had on Norwich (r) (AD) 4.15 Indian Ocean with
Simon Reeve. The adventurer travels around the coastline
of the Indian Ocean, setting out from South Africa and
moving on to Mozambique and Zanzibar (r) 5.15 Put Your
Money Where Your Mouth Is. Antiques experts Christina
Trevanion and Mark Stacey face off at an auction in
Sevenoaks, where Christina plays catch-up and Mark falls
in love with a romantic painting (r) 6.00 Eggheads.
Quiz show 6.30 The Repair Shop. The team restores a
painting of a wintry Parisian scene
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current
affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories,
cooking and gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio
chat show 10.30 This Morning. Phillip Scho?eld and Holly
Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen 12.30pm Loose Women. With Su
Pollard and Kerry Needham 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00
Judge Rinder. Cameras follow the criminal barrister as he
takes on real-life cases in a studio courtroom 3.00
Dickinson?s Real Deal. The treasure-hunting tour arrives
in Maidenhead, Berkshire, where Tim Hogarth and Ian
Towning appraise a Royal Doulton Lifeguard ?gurine and a
set of antique ivory hairbrushes (r) 4.00 Tipping Point.
Ben Shephard hosts the quiz show in which contestants
drop tokens down a choice of four chutes in the hope of
winning a �,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh
presents as contestants work as a team to take on
ruthless quiz genius the Chaser in the hope of winning a
potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
(AD) 10.05 Ramsay?s Kitchen Nightmares USA. Gordon
Ramsay concludes his visit to Zayna Flaming Grill in
Redondo Beach, California (r) 11.00 Undercover Boss
USA. With the president of a soft drink and sweet shop
franchise (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me. Four cooks from Leeds battle to win
the �000 prize (r) 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers. Nathan and
Debbs are taken aback by a ventriloquist?s dummy, while
Dan appraises a classic campervan and considers one of
his biggest ever deals (r) 2.10 Countdown. With Jay
Rayner 3.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun. Finding a
holiday home in the Caribbean (r) 4.00 A New Life in the
Sun. A swarm of insects threatens the launch of a
British-run holiday complex in France 5.00 Four in a Bed.
For the third visit of the week, the group head to The
Ardingly Inn in West Sussex (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale.
Martin Roberts sells items at a car boot sale 6.00 The
Simpsons. Three Hallowe?en-themed tales (r) (AD) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Glenn gives Adam a new order, and a familiar
face returns to the village with an announcement (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.15 Can?t
Pay? We?ll Take It Away. Kevin Stokes and Brian
O?Shaughnessy get into a doorstep confrontation with
a debtor who wants to prove her family business is
bankrupt, but when tempers ?are Brian is assaulted (r)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 GPs Behind Closed
Doors: Best of Patient Files 2. A man battling with cancer
re?ects on his progress, and a young man suffering from
the rare Guillain-Barr� syndrome discusses dealing with
the debilitating condition (r) (AD) 1.10 Access. Showbiz
news and gossip 1.15 Home and Away: Buried Alive (AD)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS: Catching a Serial Killer.
The team tries to trace the history of a gun believed to
have been used in a murder at a naval base (r) (AD) 3.15
FILM: My Daughter Must Live (12, TVM, 2014)
A woman whose daughter needs a life-saving transplant
tries to track down the child?s father ? last seen ?eeing
for his life. Thriller with Joelle Carter and Madeleine
Martin (AD) 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Chloe
upsets Piper, while Holly steals some medical records (r)
(AD) 6.00 Home and Away: Buried Alive. Alf?s injuries
trigger a heart attack (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
We are focusing more than ever on investigative journalism.
You can subscribe from �a week.
7PM
7.00 Mountain: Life at the Extreme
A look at life on the highest mountain
range on Earth, the Himalayas. The
programme follows snow leopards as
they search for food, and monkeys
huddling for warmth, and the athletes
who compete in the gruelling Everest
marathon (2/3) (r) (AD)
7.00 Emmerdale Charity offers a helping
hand, Vanessa worries about an
impending visit, and Robert piles
the pressure onto Jimmy (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street Eileen tells Liz
she has no choice but to move away,
while Leanne and Peter are worried
about Simon?s behaviour (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 King Tut?s Treasure Secrets
Documentary exploring the thousands
of items found with the great Egyptian
pharaoh when his tomb was ?rst
uncovered, and asking what they might
reveal about the life and times in
which Tutankhamun lived (1/3) (r)
8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick
Knowles and the team head to
Birmingham to transform the family
home of parents Charlotte and Chris,
whose twins were born prematurely
and have a condition known as global
development delay (1/7) (r) (AD)
8.00 The Secret Helpers A man whose
family life is in crisis, and a woman
whose stammer is stopping her from
moving on in her job, seek advice from
the Secret Helpers (2/5) (AD)
8.00 Britain?s Brightest Family Two
families compete in the third round
of the quarter-?nals (AD)
8.00 The Supervet Take That?s Mark Owen
brings his 18-month-old Doberman,
who needs treatment on a limp, into
the surgery. Meanwhile, a four-yearold Coton-Tzu from Dublin with hip
dysplasia may require a double hip
replacement (5/6) (AD)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Doctors
treat a seven-year-old boy who was
knocked unconscious after a crash on
his bike, and a patient suffering from
depression visits the surgery to
discuss treatment options (AD)
9.00 MasterChef The ?rst group of
contestants head to the Eneko
restaurant in Covent Garden, London,
where they will be responsible for
serving dishes to customers
during a busy lunch service (AD)
9.00 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew Cunanan invites himself to
stay in Minneapolis with friends David
Madson and Jeff Trail (5/9) (AD)
9.00 The Real Full Monty: Live
A special live performance from
Shef?eld led by Ashley Banjo and
Alexander Armstrong, alongside a
host of other famous names, to raise
awareness of men?s cancers. This
time the new cast of famous men,
including Jeff Brazier, Tom Parker,
James Argent and Ainsley Harriott,
share their own personal stories and
shed their clothing to inspire more
men to make vital checks that could
save lives. See Viewingg Guide
10.30 ITV News
9.00 One Born Every Minute Beth and
David, who met online, arrive in the
hospital awaiting the birth of their
baby daughter. Meanwhile, 28-year-old
Kathereen from Colombia and
Birmingham-born Nick, who?s 40, are in
the maternity ward expecting their
second child together (4/10) (AD)
9.00 Grenfell Tower: Minute By Minute
Survivors of the Grenfell tower ?re
share their personal accounts of the
blaze that killed 72 people, recalling
the decisions that saved their lives,
and remembering the friends,
neighbours and loved ones who did
not make it out of the building
Late
11PM
10PM
9PM
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones host the magazine show, with
stories of interest from around the UK,
plus big-named guests in the studio
8PM
UK residents only, aged 18 or over. This offer is subject to availability. New subscribers only. Visit store.thetimes.co.uk for full T&Cs.
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 A Question of Sport Quiz with
guests Ricky Hatton, Tim Bresnan,
Asha Philip and Michael Jamieson
11.15 Film 2018 A review of Steven
Spielberg?s latest blockbuster,
Ready Player One, Wes Anderson?s
Isle of Dogs, and British boxing
drama Journeyman (5/5)
11.45 Jimi: All Is By My Side (15, 2013)
Biopic of Jimi Hendrix following the
events of 1966, when he left New York
to spend a year living in London.
Starring Andr� Benjamin, Hayley
Atwell and Imogen Poots
1.40am-6.00 BBC News
9.55 Live at the Apollo Russell Kane
comp鑢es an evening of stand-up at
London?ss Hammersmith Apollo,
treating the audience to his own brand
of humour and introducing routines
by the comedy circuit stars Roisin
Conaty and Nick Helm (6/7) (r)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day?s
events presented by Kirsty Wark
8.30 Coronation Street Seb and Gary
start to crack open the Mill concrete
with sledgehammers (AD)
11.15 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the
Lobby Giles Coren and Monica Galetti
visit a hotel in South Africa that has
been built into a former grain silo, and
discover how staff have coped with the
challenge of keeping the place clean in
the wake of the worst drought to hit
Cape Town in a century (5/6) (r) (AD)
11.00 Regional News
12.15am David Attenborough?s Natural Curiosities
The presenter explores the evolution of aggression in the
animal kingdom (r) (AD) 12.45 Sign Zone: MasterChef.
Seven more amateur cooks are put to the test (r) (AD,
SL) 1.45-2.45 The World?s Most Extraordinary Homes.
Exploring four extraordinary homes in Japan (r) (AD, SL)
12.15am Heathrow: Britain?s Busiest Airport An
employee helps a passenger who has lost her daughter (r)
(AD) 1.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming 3.00 Tenable.
Five friends from Surrey compete (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen. Text-based information service 5.05-6.00
The Jeremy Kyle Show. Talk show (r) (SL)
11.20 easyJet: Inside the Cockpit
In Paris, newly quali?ed pilot Ryan
Clyde faces the prospect of conducting
his ?rst night landing, while back in
the UK, cadet Sophie learns how to
deal with G-forces (2/2) (r) (AD)
10.00 Are You Autistic? A documentary
challenging what people think they
know about autism, exploring myths
surrounding the condition and
examining what living with autism
is really like in the UK today.
See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.00 Social Housing, Social Cleansing
Exploring the neglect and regeneration
of council estates across the UK in the
past 30 years, and the stories of people
who are ?ghting to save their homes
from demolition in communities in
London, Glasgow and Nottingham
11.05 999: On the Frontline Paramedics
rush to save the life of a cyclist who
has been crushed by a lorry in
Leamington Spa, and in Coventry,
a man is treated after falling
from a barge (3/10)
11.05 Under Siege (15, 1992) Terrorists
in?ltrate a US battleship in a carefully
orchestrated move to steal its arsenal
of nuclear weapons, unaware the ship?s
resourceful cook ? a veteran US Navy
Seal ? and a scantily clad stripper
are about to foil their plans. Action
adventure starring Steven Seagal
12.05am Live from Abbey Road Classics New series.
A look at live performances 12.30 Seven Year Switch (r)
(AD) 1.30 FILM: The Raven (15, 2012) Thriller with
John Cusack (SL) 3.20 George Clarke?s Amazing Spaces
(r) (AD) 4.15 Coast vs Country (r) 5.10 Kirstie?s
Handmade Treasures (r) 5.30-6.00 Streetmate (r)
1.05am SuperCasino 3.10 Secrets of the National
Trust with Alan Titchmarsh. The host visits Cragside,
a Victorian estate in Northumberland (r) (AD) 4.00
Britain?s Greatest Bridges. The design of the Tyne Bridge
(r) (AD, SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Great
Artists (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
The Real Full
Monty: Live
ITV, 9pm
Last year, to mark the
20th anniversary of the
film The Full Monty,
Alexander Armstrong
led a group at the
London Palladium
(under the tutelage of
Ashley Banjo from the
dance troupe Diversity)
in its final routine to
raise awareness of
prostate and cancer
charities. This year new
stars, including the
retired rugby player
Ugo Monye, the former
footballer John Hartson
and the chef Ainsley
Harriott, participate.
And full monty means
full monty. ?We?ve all
got a willy, we?ve all
got balls,? says the
pop singer Tom Parker.
?It?s fine.? It?s good
fun for a great cause.
Are You Autistic?
Channel 4, 10pm
Experts believe that
thousands could be
autistic without
realising it. A lost
generation of adults
struggle through life
without a diagnosis,
missed by a system that
is just getting to grips
with the condition. This
documentary, hosted by
Anna Richardson with
two young autistic
campaigners, Georgia
Harper and Sam
Ahern, sets out to
reveal autism?s true
face in the UK. Two
adults who think
they may have autism
agree to be tested in
an experiment that
breaks the condition
down into three main
areas of behaviour ?
social interaction,
organisation and sense.
The Putin
Interviews
Sky Atlantic, 11.10pm
There has never been
a better time to watch
the film director Oliver
Stone?s interviews with
Vladimir Putin from
last June. Putin is no
fool; he wouldn?t have
offered access to Stone
if he risked coming
across badly. Stone was
criticised by James
Poniewozik of The
New York Times for
being ?embarrassingly
generous?. The value of
the interviews was best
put by Verne Gay of the
newspaper Newsday:
?As a conversation
that covers a vast span
of Russian history,
culture, and politics
as refracted through
the mind of Russia?s
president, it?s often
remarkable.?
Sport Choice
Eurosport 2, 1.30pm
The 73rd Dwars door
Vlaanderen (Across
Flanders) takes place
today. The one-day
bicycle race is
contested over 181km
and features a lot of
famous Flemish hills,
with the final 22km
including sharp climbs
up Vossehol, Holstraat
and Nokereberg.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Dog Whisperer (r) 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue (r) 8.00 Motorway Patrol (r)
(AD) 9.00 Road Wars (r) 10.00 Warehouse 13
(r) 11.00 David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies (r) (AD) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00
The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r)
6.00 Futurama. Sci-? capers (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 DC?s Legends of Tomorrow. The team
heads out on a mission to save rock ?n? roll
9.00 FILM: Star Trek (12, 2009) The ?rst
mission of the starship Enterprise leads the
crew into a battle with a Romulan commander
from the future. Sci-? adventure with Chris Pine
11.25 The Force: North East. Of?cers race to
a stabbing outside a pub in Newcastle (r)
12.25am Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r) (AD)
1.25 Road Wars (r) 2.00 In the Long Run (r)
3.00 The Force: Essex (r) (AD) 4.00 It?s
Me or the Dog (r) 5.00 Futurama (r)
6.00am The British (r) (AD) 7.00 Urban Secrets
(r) 8.00 Richard E Grant?s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
(AD) 1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue
Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r)
5.00 House (r) (AD) 6.00 House (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. A woman claims God told her
who murdered her mother (r) (AD)
9.00 Save Me. Nelly in?ltrates a secret network
that may hold the key to his daughter?s return,
and Goz makes a shocking discovery (5/6) (AD)
10.00 SMILF. Bridge chooses three
different paths on Father?s Day
10.35 SMILF. Bridge tries out for the
Women?s National Basketball Association
11.10 The Putin Interviews. The writer and
director Oliver Stone interviews Russian
President Vladimir Putin. See Viewing Guide (r)
12.20am The Putin Interviews (r) 1.30
Save Me (r) (AD) 2.30 Here and Now (r)
3.40 SMILF (r) 4.15 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Motorway Patrol (r) 7.00 Highway
Patrol (r) 7.30 Border Patrol (r) 8.00 UK Border
Force (r) (AD) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r) 10.00
Cold Case (r) 11.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia
12.00 The Real A&E (r) (AD) 1.00pm Air
Rescue (r) (AD) 2.00 Stop, Search, Seize (r)
(AD) 3.00 Nothing to Declare (r) 5.00 CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation (r) 6.00 Air Rescue
(r) (AD) 6.30 Air Rescue (r) (AD)
7.00 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
7.30 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary. A magician is killed while
performing a classic stunt (r) (AD)
9.00 Grey?s Anatomy. Meredith tries to learn
more about Marie and her mother
10.00 The Good Doctor. Surgery is planned to
allow a patient to smile for the ?rst time (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Cold Case (r) 2.00 Scandal (r) 3.00
Criminal Minds (r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
5.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia (r)
6.00am Arts Scholarships: Sky Academy 6.10
Saul from Glyndebourne 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected 9.30 Landscape Artist of the Year
2016 10.30 Video Killed the Radio Star (AD)
11.00 The Eighties (AD) 12.00 Treasures of the
British Library (AD) 1.00pm Discovering: Orson
Welles (AD) 2.00 Tales of the Unexpected 2.30
Landscape Artist of the Year 2016 3.30 Video
Killed the Radio Star (AD) 4.00 The Eighties
(AD) 5.00 Treasures of the British Library (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Ernest Borgnine (AD)
7.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2018:
The Winner?s Story. Last in the series
8.00 National Treasures: The Art of Collecting
9.00 Discovering: Peter Lorre. A pro?le
10.00 Fanarchy. Documentary
11.55 FILM: Buster Keaton In Scarecrow
Two farmhands compete for the hand of the
same girl. But she?s not impressed with either of
them. Short comedy ?lm with Buster Keaton
12.15am The Glyndebourne Opera Cup
3.45 30 Degrees in February 5.00 Auction
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans Bitesize
7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 Premier
League Daily 11.00 Sky Sports Daily 12.00
Sky Sports News 6.00pm Sky Sports News
7.00 Joshua v Parker Countdown.
Counting down to the ?ght between
Anthony Joshua and Joseph Parker
7.30 Sky Sports Tonight.
This evening?s leading sports stories
8.00 Live ATP Masters Tennis: The Miami Open.
Coverage of the eighth day at the Tennis Centre
at Crandon Park, where the quarter-?nals begin
10.00 The Gloves Are Off: AJ v Parker.
Anthony Joshua and Joseph Parker
discuss their upcoming bout
10.30 AJ: Off Limits. Anna Woolhouse
interviews Anthony Joshua
11.00 Sky Sports News 12.00 Sky Sports News
2.00am Live ATP Masters Tennis. The Miami
Open. Coverage of the eighth day at the Tennis
Centre at Crandon Park, where the quarter?nals continue 4.00 Sky Sports News
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm The Priest In
the Jeans. Stephen Nolan meets Ardoyne priest
Gary Donegan 11.10 A Question of Sport.
Guests include Ricky Hatton and Tim Bresnan
11.40 Film 2018. A review of Ready Player One
12.10am FILM: Jimi: All Is By My Side (2013)
Biopic of Jimi Hendrix starring Andr� Benjamin
and Hayley Atwell 2.00-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 8.00pm-9.00 River City.
Lenny faces a tough test when he is put in
the frame for Rick Harper?s murder
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 8.00pm MasterChef. The
?rst group of contestants head to the Eneko
restaurant in Covent Garden, London (AD)
9.00-10.00 Keeping Faith. Following the crash,
Williams tries to shift the blame onto Faith
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 2.40pm-3.40 Politics
Scotland. A round-up of political news
7.00-8.00 The Ladykillers: Pest Detectives.
Imogen has to employ extreme measures to
deal with an infestation of bedbugs (r) (AD)
STV
As ITV except: 11.05pm Scotland Tonight
11.40 The Kyle Files. Jeremy Kyle tackles
high-pro?le issues (r) (AD) 12.10am
Teleshopping 1.10 After Midnight. News and
conversation 2.40 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
Subscribe now to start saving immediately.
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BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days; Weather
7.30 Danny Baker Rocks the Nineties (A Bit).
The presenter showcases performances by
rocking Brits the Justi?ed Ancients of Mu Mu
and Radiohead. Last in the series (r)
8.00 Metalworks!: The Knight?s Tale. How Henry
VIII combined German technology with
Renaissance artistry in his quest to conform to
the image of the perfect knight (2/3) (r)
9.00 Make! Craft Britain. The novice crafters
discover the ancient art of silver jewellery
making, and the origami expert Sam Tsang
demonstrates how to make a snack box
10.00 Carved with Love: The Genius of British
Woodwork. Paul Copley narrates the story of
Grinling Gibbons, the 17th-century woodcarver
who created masterpieces for Charles II
and William of Orange (2/3) (r)
11.00 Elegance and Decadence: The Age of the
Regency. The backlash against the Prince
Regent?s excesses. Last in the series (r) (AD)
12.00 Treasures of Ancient Egypt (r) 1.00am
Top of the Pops 1983: Big Hits (r) 2.00
Metalworks!: The Knight?s Tale (r) 3.00-4.00
The Witness for the Prosecution (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Rules of
Engagement (r) 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (r)
(AD) 9.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 10.00 2 Broke Girls
(r) (AD) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD)
12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 1.00pm The Big
Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 3.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 4.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs
(r) (AD) 6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Ryan panics (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers (r)
8.00 The Goldbergs. Barry looks to secure
a spot on the high school football team (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 Don?t Tell the Bride. A groom organises
Roman Empire-themed wedding (6/6)
10.00 Five Star Hotel. A classy barbecue leads
to a staff revolt and a new manager is appointed
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.05am First Dates (r) (AD) 1.10 Five
Star Hotel (r) 2.15 Tattoo Fixers (r) 3.10
Don?t Tell the Bride (r) 4.00 The Goldbergs
(r) (AD) 4.25 Rules of Engagement (r)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) 9.30 A Place in the
Sun: Home or Away (r) 11.35 Four in a Bed (r)
2.10pm Come Dine with Me (r) 4.50 A Place in
the Sun: Home or Away (r) 5.55 Kirstie and
Phil?s Love It or List It. A riverside cottage (r)
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo. Endangered
black rhino Kitani is introduced to new mate
Magadi at Chester Zoo (r) (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. Pat Becker has decided her
Georgian family house in Devon is too big for
her, and plans to build a seashell-shaped home
at the bottom of the garden (4/7) (r) (AD)
9.00 Vet on the Hill. The team search to ?nd
the owner of a lost kitten, a Shih-Tzu needs
help with an alarming snort, and Scott
undertakes a challenging piece of surgery
10.00 24 Hours in A&E. A 72-year-old?s family
faces a big decision when she is found to have
a blood clot on her brain (2/7) (r) (AD)
11.10 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
With Liza Tarbuck, Sarah Millican, Romesh
Ranganathan and Phill Jupitus (r)
12.10am Ramsay?s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r)
1.10 Vet on the Hill (r) 2.15 24 Hours in A&E
(r) (AD) 3.15-3.55 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am My Darling Clementine (PG,
1946) John Ford?s Western with Henry Fonda
(b/w) (AD) 1.00pm Carry On Cabby (PG,
1963) Comedy starring Sid James (b/w) (AD)
2.50 Carry On Regardless (U, 1961)
Slapstick comedy starring Sid James (b/w) (AD)
4.35 The Return of the Musketeers (PG,
1989) Swashbuckling adventure sequel starring
Oliver Reed and Michael York (AD)
6.40 Vertical Limit (12, 2000) A wildlife
photographer masters his fears and climbs the
world?s second highest mountain to rescue his
sister. Action adventure starring Chris O?Donnell
9.00 Pulp Fiction (18, 1994) A series of
interlinked stories about the Los Angeles
underworld. Quentin Tarantino?s crime drama
starring John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson,
Uma Thurman and Bruce Willis (AD)
12.05am American Ultra (15, 2015) A store
clerk who is unaware he is a government sleeper
agent is targeted for assassination. Action
comedy starring Jesse Eisenberg and Kristen
Stewart (AD) 1.55-3.50 The Man with the
Iron Fists (18, 2012) Martial arts adventure
starring RZA, Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu
6.00am The Planet?s Funniest Animals (r) 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.10
Who?s Doing the Dishes? (r) 7.55 Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 8.20 The Cube (r) 9.25 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show (r) 10.25 FILM: The
Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (PG, 2000)
Family comedy prequel starring Mark Addy and
Stephen Baldwin (AD) 12.15pm Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 12.45 You?ve Been Framed!: Top 100
Animals (r) 1.45 The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2.35 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 4.50
Judge Rinder (r) 5.50 Take Me Out (r)
7.00 You?ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.30 You?ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 Hell?s Kitchen USA. Both teams are tasked
to replicate six Hell?s Kitchen entr閑s
10.00 Hell?s Kitchen USA. The chefs
compete in a game meat challenge
10.55 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.25 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.55 Family Guy (r) (AD) 12.25am American
Dad! (r) (AD) 1.20 Two and a Half Men (r)
2.15 Teleshopping 5.45 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street (r) 6.50
Heartbeat (r) 7.55 The Royal (r) (AD) 8.55
Judge Judy (r) 10.15 Inspector Morse (r)
12.35pm The Royal (r) (AD) 1.40 Heartbeat (r)
2.40 Classic Coronation Street (r) 3.45 On the
Buses (r) 4.50 You?re Only Young Twice (r) 5.25
Rising Damp (r) 5.55 Heartbeat (r)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Jessica receives
shocking news about her late husband (r) (AD)
8.00 Endeavour. The detective investigates the
disappearance of a Dutch au pair and discovers a
connection to an earlier unsolved case as con?ict
erupts between of?cers (3/4) (r) (AD)
10.00 Law & Order: UK. Ronnie and Joe
investigate the death of an elderly woman found
at a well-known suicide spot, and Kate
jeopardises her career (5/8) (r) (AD)
11.00 Law & Order: UK. A blood-spattered hotel
room and a stolen credit card lead detectives
Ronnie and Joe to a privileged young woman
whose newborn baby has gone missing. Guest
starring James Wilby (6/8) (r) (AD)
12.05am Unforgotten (r) (AD, SL) 2.00
ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am The Chase (r) 6.45 Pawn Stars (r) 7.30
Ironside (r) 8.30 Quincy ME (r) 9.30 Minder (r)
(AD) 10.35 The Saint (r) 11.40 The Avengers
(r) 12.45pm Ironside (r) 1.50 Quincy ME (r)
2.55 Minder (r) (AD) 4.00 The Saint (r)
5.05 The Avengers. Starring Diana Rigg (r)
6.05 Storage Wars (r)
6.35 Storage Wars (r)
7.05 Pawn Stars (r)
7.30 Pawn Stars (r)
8.00 Goodwood Members Meeting.
Highlights of the 76th Members Meeting
9.00 Football?s Foreign Legion. Telling
the story of pioneering foreign players
and their legacy. See Viewing Guide
10.00 FILM: Crank (18, 2006) An assassin is
poisoned and resorts to desperate measures to
keep himself alive long enough to exact revenge.
Action thriller starring Jason Statham (AD)
11.50 The Americans. Philip and Elizabeth race
against the clock as a life hangs in the balance,
while Stan faces an uncertain future (AD)
12.55am Minder (r) (AD, SL) 2.00 Deals,
Wheels and Steals (r) 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 Impossible Engineering (AD)
4.00 World?s Most Dangerous Roads 5.00 Top
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6.00 Top Gear. The presenters take on
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7.00 Cop Car Workshop. Dave has a BMW X5
armed response vehicle build to oversee
8.00 Sin City Motors. The owner of a trucking
company looks for a vintage ride (AD)
9.00 Live at the Apollo. Ed Byrne hosts the
show, with guests Adam Hills and Gina Yashere
10.00 Room 101. With Catherine Tate, Rylan
Clark-Neal and Nigel Havers
10.40 Room 101. David Mitchell, Judy Murray
and Anita Rani vent their spleen
11.20 Would I Lie to You? At Christmas. Comedy
panel game with Miranda Hart, Stephen
Mangan, Barry Cryer and Miles Jupp
12.00 QI XL. Guests include Lucy Beaumont
1.00am QI 1.40 Would I Lie to You? 2.20 Mock
the Week 3.00 Suits (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London?s Burning (AD)
9.00 Casualty (AD) 10.00 Bergerac 11.00 The
Bill 12.00 Death in Paradise 1.00pm Last of the
Summer Wine 1.40 Bread 2.20 Birds of a
Feather 3.00 London?s Burning (AD) 4.00 Death
in Paradise 5.00 Bergerac. (1/2) Susan drowns
6.00 Steptoe and Son. Harold holds a meeting of
the local Labour Party in his front room (b/w)
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Howard grows
convinced he was abandoned at birth
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Wesley is
almost ready to unveil his latest creation
8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe. A stranger appears at the
funeral of a wealthy woman claiming to be her
son, and is later found murdered (3 & 4/8) (AD)
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death of a ?nancier when a psychic informs the
deceased?s daughter that she needs to resolve
her father?s un?nished business (1/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Tracey?s house
becomes infested with mice
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2.00 Crocodile Shoes. Snotter plots to kill Ade
3.10 Crusoe 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Coast (AD) 7.10 Pointless 8.00 Time
Team 9.00 Coast (AD) 10.00 Scotland?s Murder
Mysteries 11.00 Castle Builders 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Countdown to Life: The
Extraordinary Making of You (AD) 2.00 Planet
Earth 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 Scotland?s Murder
Mysteries 5.00 Castle Builders
6.00 Hidden Traces (AD)
7.00 Full Steam Ahead. How the railways
transformed the British diet
8.00 Mission: Kill Hitler. An insight into the
plot to kill the f黨rer that remained secret
until the late 1990s. See Viewing Guide
9.00 The Best of Tommy Cooper
9.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
10.00 The Best of Tommy Cooper
10.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
11.00 The Two Ronnies. Clodagh Rodgers
performs Heartache in the studio
11.55 The Two Ronnies. With
guests Leslie Ash and Elaine Paige
12.45am The Two Ronnies. With Stephanie
Lawrence 1.40 Tales of Irish Castles 2.30
Sounds of the Seventies 3.00 Home Shopping
UTV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Rare Breed:
A Farming Year. The end of the harvest is in
sight for farmer Kevin 11.20 Britain?s Brightest
Family. Two families compete in the third round
of the quarter-?nals (AD) 11.50 easyJet:
Inside the Cockpit. In Paris, a newly quali?ed
pilot faces the prospect of conducting his
?rst night landing (r) (AD) 12.40am
Teleshopping 2.10-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Peppa (r) 5.10 Su Shiusaidh (Little
Suzy?s Zoo) (r) 5.15 Creag nam Buthaidean
(Puf?n Rock) (r) 5.25 Ben & Hoilidh san
Rioghachd Bhig (Ben & Holly?s Little Kingdom)
(r) 5.50 Oran le Fiona (r) 5.55 Fitheach
(Raven) 6.10 Dragonan: Reis chun an iomaill
(Dragons: Race to the Edge) 6.30 D� a-nis?
(What Now?) 7.00 Innsean an Iar: Hebrides (r)
7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 8.00 An L�
(News) 8.30 Leugh Mi (Book Show) (r) 9.00
Opry an I鷌r (r) 10.00 Mach a Seo! 10.30
Ce騦mhor @ Piping Live (r) 11.00 DIY le Donnie
(r) 11.45-12.00midnight Binneas: Na Trads
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15 Y
Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen (r)
6.40 Tomos a?i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty Mel (r)
7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15 Heini (r) 7.30
Digbi Draig (r) 7.40 Sam T鈔 (r) 7.50 Sblij a
Sbloj 8.00 Cymylaubychain (r) 8.15 Cegin Cyw
8.20 Cwpwrdd Cadi (r) 8.30 Cled (r) 8.45
Marcaroni (r) 9.00 Dwylo?r Enfys (r) 9.15 Stiw
(r) 9.25 Oli Dan y Don (r) 9.35 Nodi (r) 9.45
Tecwyn y Tractor (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul (r)
10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a?i Ffrindiau (r)
10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: F?ic a
F?ac (r) 11.10 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Jen a Jim Pob
Dim (r) 11.25 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Rapsgaliwn (r)
11.40 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Mwnci?n Dweud
Mwnci?n Gwneud (r) 11.45 Dysgu Gyda Cyw:
Chwedlau Tinga Tinga (r) 12.00 News S4C a?r
Tywydd 12.05pm Crwydro (r) 12.30 Cefn
Gwlad (r) (AD) 1.30 Mamwlad gyda F?on
Hague (r) 2.00 News S4C a?r Tywydd 2.05
Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a?r Tywydd 3.05
Pengelli (r) 3.30 Pobol y Glannau (r) 4.00 Awr
Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh: Boom!
5.15 Stwnsh: Dennis a Dannedd (r) 5.25
Stwnsh: Dewi a?r Ditectifs Gwyllt (r) 5.35
Stwnsh: Fi yw?r Bos (r) 6.00 News S4C a?r
Tywydd 6.05 Her yr Hinsawdd (r) (AD) 6.30
Mwy o Sgorio 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm.
Gethin tries to undermine Sheryl and Hywel?s
relationship (AD) 8.25 Celwydd Noeth 9.00
News 9 a?r Tywydd 9.30 Ar Werth 10.00 Codi
Hwyl (r) 10.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain (r) 11.0511.40 999: Ambiwlans Awyr Cymru (r) (AD)
14
Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3295
5
6
7
1
8
9
11
13
20
10
7
1
25
8
7
23
11
1
11
22
13
3
19
10
12
13
14
19
20
12
6
10
12
11
13
13
22
16
Train Tracks No 367
22
23
1
1
10
23
17
10
3
18
15
22
25
18
1
3
1
4
6
3
4
4
4
23
3
10
6
22
1
10
1
5
1
13
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16
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� PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7611
25
2
3
5
10
11
22
1
25
7
4
22
2
15
10
16
5
15
18
17
11
7
16
5
4
10
1
23
4
25
3
A
26
18
8
19
23
2
18
13
26
5
10
1
D
20
15
25
14
11
11
24
25
3
10
15
12
22
1
10
12
7
8
B
M
11
4
1
5
9
10
11
Goods barge (7)
Trial; exam (4)
Not illuminated (5)
Being acceptable to (7)
Removal from a fixed
position (12)
12 Far away (6)
13 Reflecting surface (6)
Solution to Crossword 7610
A S S E
S C
S T A
A P
I GH T
O
CK I N
A D
S AND U
L
A B
A S SUAG
N T
S
GRA S S
10
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
22
Across
AM
D
V I
I
S L
O
RO
7
D
O
P
P
E
L
G
A
N
G
E
R
S
S T I NG
O G L
I RANHA
T
E S
D BOS S
B U
HORS E S
U
A
L I S T ED
L
R N
L I EGE
O N S
ENA T E S
16 Extremely upsetting (3-9)
19 Destructive wind (7)
20 Ice house (5)
21 Cease work (4)
22 Military jet (7)
11
3
12
9
10
18
23
10
26
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
12
14
15
17
18
26
D
Scowl (4)
Metallic element (7)
Allowing no opposition (12)
Live (in a place) (6)
Exclusive group (5)
More close-fitting (7)
Dealing with arising
problems (12)
One who rectifies (7)
Curl; butterfly (7)
Done only once (3-3)
Doughnut shape (5)
Square number (4)
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E
G
O
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K
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U
A
L
O
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R
A
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D
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Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce
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KenKen Medium No 4287
Futoshiki No 3138
Kakuro No 2097
>
2
<
� 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
<
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line ?block?, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
M
Down
1
2
3
4
6
7
8
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
13
22
?
?
28
34
6
14
17
29
23
16
13
16
35
16
34
17
33
23
17
16
12
3
21
7
16
17
11
<
33
9
4
9
7
3
7
7
<
<
<
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
29
4
4
26
6
15
3
24
10
14
� PUZZLER MEDIA
21
10
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
Concurrent with the FIDE World
Chess Candidates tournament in
Berlin, the 19th European Individual Chess Championship is
taking place in Batumi, Georgia.
The UK?s leading representatives
are reigning British champion
Gawain Jones and the British
Knockout champion, grandmaster
Luke McShane. After the early
rounds Jones was close on the
heels of the leader, the Armenian
grandmaster Robert Hovhannisyan.
In today?s game from Batumi,
the British champion adopts a
variation against the Caro-Kann
that has been advocated in the
forthcoming book Opening Repertoire 1 e4 by Cyrus Lakdawala
(Everyman Chess).
White: Gawain Jones
Black: Bogdan-Daniel Deac
European Team Championship,
Batumi 2018
Caro-Kann Defence
1 e4 c6 2 d4 d5 3 e5
Compared with the Advance
Variation against the French
Defence (1 e4 e6 2 d4 d5 3 e5), also
advocated by Lakdawala, pushing
forwards White?s e-pawn against
the Caro-Kann has certain advantages and disadvantages. In Black?s
favour, unlike in the French, is his
ability to freely develop his
queen?s bishop on f5. On the
negative side, Black will have to
lose a tempo if he ever wishes to
challenge White?s centre with the
counter ... c5.
3 ... Bf5 4 h4 h5
An alternative is 4 ... h6 meeting 5 g4 with 5 ... Bd7 (rather than
5 ... Bh7, when 6 e6 is a dangerous
sacrifice).
5 Bd3 Bxd3 6 Qxd3 e6 7 Bg5 Be7
8 Nf3 Nh6 9 Bxh6
In this position this is a new
concept. White prevents Black?s
king?s knight from reaching the
useful f5-square and also strands
the black king?s rook on the kingside. It remains to be seen,
though, whether the exchange of
minor pieces grants White any
significant advantage.
9 ... Rxh6 10 c4 dxc4 11 Qxc4
Qb6
A foolhardy adventure. Better
is 11 ... Nd7 with the plan of ...
Nb6-d5.
12 0-0 Qxb2
Compounding his misguided
avarice. Black can still resist with
12 ... Na6. Now he is crushed.
13 Nc3 Qc2 14 Rfc1 Qf5 15 Qb3
b6 16 Nb5
EASY
19 x 2 + 8
MEDIUM
138 + 84
HARDER
149 x 9 + 545
+ 1/2
OF IT
?J 2
?Q J 4
?K 3
?Q 4 2
? A K 4 3 2 ? AQ 7 6 2 ? A J 6 4 3 2
With the first, go ahead and
rebid 2NT, the bid you?d have
made if right-hand opponent had
passed. The one extra requirement
that has become relevant is having
a stopper in the opposing diamonds.
In contrast, you must pass with
the second, because you are unable
to make your planned 1NT rebid.
Rebid 2NT, and partner will
(should) place you with a hand that
was planning to rebid 2NT and
will raise to 3NT with some sevenpoint hand that renders 3NT hopeless. Remember, your pass does not
end the auction ? partner is still
there and has heard you open the
bidding; he will not go quietly
unless he has a poor hand.
You must also pass with the
third, because you cannot make
your planned 2? rebid. If you bid
3?, partner will place you with a
hand that was planning to jump to
3? ? 16+ points.
x2
+8
+ 46 x 2 + 78
75%
OF IT
? 62
60%
OF IT
+ 98
+ 1/2
OF IT
? 672
7/
8
? 957
+ 1/2
OF IT
+ 995
+ 1/2
OF IT
An elegant coup that demolishes Black?s resistance for if 16 ...
cxb5 17 Rc8+ Kd7 (17 ... Bd8 18 Qc3
is overwhelming) 18 Rac1 wins.
16 ... Kd8 17 Nxa7
This wins material and destroys
the black king?s defences.
17 ... Rxa7 18 Qxb6+ Rc7 19
Qxb8+ Kd7 20 Rab1 Bd8 21 Qa8
Black resigns
?A J 3
?J 4 2
?8 2
?AQ 10
? AQ 9 3 2
? AQ 10 9 2
With the first, you can swerve
into 2?. With the second, ?AQ10
is effectively ?AKQ, sitting over
the 2? bid. Also loving ?109, your
hand is worth way more than 16
points and you can bid 2NT.
?A 2
?4 2
?A K 10 5 4 2
? Q 10 4
? K J 9 6 ?A JN2
?A 10 9 8 6 3 W E ?Q 7
?J 8 7 6
?3
S
?6 5
? 8 7 5 3 ?Q 10 9 8
?K J 5
?Q 9
?K 7 4 3
N
After ?10, ?2, ?Q, you win ?K
(duck and East may switch to a
spade). ?J is protected from a second
heart lead from West but East is the
danger hand, leading through ?J5.
You cross to ?A and lead ?2 to
?9, not minding if West wins ?J.
Here, your safety play is crucial.
After ?9 wins, you cash ?Q, cross
to ? A and cash ?AK105 then
?K. Game made plus one.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
4
Yesterday?s answers
aching, arc, arch, arcing, cairn, can, car,
caring, cha, chagrin, chai, chain, chair,
char, chi, chin, china, ching, cigar, crag,
cran, hic, inarch, inch, narc, racing,
ranch, rich
Killer Tricky No 5931
11
20
15
19
17min
21
22
16
9
7
8
6
3
2
2
3
15
23
Quick Cryptic 1056
11
L
O
W
C
O
U
N
T
R
I
E
S
25
A S SO
N M
YOM I
W T
DD S
R M
O
E
A P D A
S
N T RU
A
R
HU T E
T
D
12
16
14
12
7
10
17
7
9
3
6
2
1
8
4
5
10
16
4
11
x
20
8
14
18
21
15
21
16
21
16
20
28
21
9
19
17
17
3
7
13
11
17
x
=
33
=
1
9
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
=
40
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
8
1
4
5
7
3
6
9
2
2
5
6
8
9
4
7
1
3
1
3
2
9
5
8
4
7
6
4
6
9
7
3
2
1
5
8
E L
I
U T
T
I L
E
B
L O
P
L E
E
I P
5
8
7
4
1
6
2
3
9
9
2
5
1
6
7
3
8
4
3
4
1
2
8
9
5
6
7
6
7
8
3
4
5
9
2
1
C
E
R
T
I
F
I
C
A
T
E
6
2
5
8
3
9
6
7
4
1
9
4
3
5
1
7
6
2
8
6
7
1
2
4
8
9
3
5
7
6
4
1
8
3
5
9
2
1
9
5
7
2
4
8
6
3
�
1
�
x
8
x
+
-
5
x
4
�
3
+
9
8
2
6
9
3
5
4
1
7
4
3
9
8
7
1
2
5
6
5
1
7
4
6
2
3
8
9
9
2
8
3
7
4
1
5
6
4
1
3
8
6
5
7
9
2
5
7
6
9
1
2
3
8
4
3
8
1
4
5
6
2
7
9
7
4
2
1
8
9
6
3
5
1
3
9
6
4
8
5
2
7
8
5
7
2
9
1
4
6
3
2
6
4
5
3
7
9
1
8
4
1
7
8
6
9
2
3
5
5
8
3
2
4
7
1
9
6
6
9
2
1
3
5
4
8
7
8
5
6
3
7
4
9
1
2
3
2
4
9
5
1
6
7
8
1
7
9
6
8
2
5
4
3
2
3
1
5
9
8
7
6
4
9
4
8
7
2
6
3
5
1
7
6
5
4
1
3
8
2
9
9
8
6
2
7
1
5
4
3
2
3
4
8
6
5
1
9
7
6
2
8
4
9
7
3
5
1
8 1 3 9
4 2 1 8
2 1
6
1
1
4 8 9 7
8 9 7 1 5
3 4
3 2 7
2 1 4
8
1 3 2
9
7
9
8
2
5
3
+
7
9
1
2
1
2 9
4 7
Train Tracks 366
1
Quintagram
1 Maze
2 Hilt
3 Plough
4 Earl Grey
5 Unorthodox
5
1
5
4
4
3
4
5
4
5
3
A
3
1
5
7
1
B
W
E
E
A
A
R
A
S
A
T
E
B
T
V
R
O
H
W
L
P
R
N
I
P
U
P
A
P
I
A
C
L
E
L
Suko 2196
4
?
5
1
2
3
2
?
1
?
4
2 < 3
1
4
5
1
3 > 2
KenKen 4286
E
O
5 > 3
2
?
4
?
5
4
?
5
O
O
Futoshiki 3137
3
O
E
Y
O
B
Cell Blocks 3177
Lexica 4194
F
Brain Trainer
Easy 63
Medium 437
Harder 5,211
2 2
3
3
3
3
2 4
2
4
3
2
10
4
2
Word watch
Dulcian (a) A
Renaissance
woodwind
instrument,
precursor to the
bassoon
Verset (c) A
short, often
sacred, verse
Nefast (c)
Nefarious, wicked
Chess
1 Rf4! Raf8 (not 1
... Rxf4 2 Qxg7
mate) and now 2
Rc8! leaves Black
without a good
reply to the
threat of 3 Qxf7+,
e.g. 2 ... Rf6 3
Rxf6 Bxf6 4 Bxf6
Rxc8 5 Qxg7 mate
Quiz
Killer 5930
7
1
5
9
3
4
8
2
6
3 1 2
1 2 4
3 5
3
5 2 1
1 3
1 5
9 6 8
7 8 9
5 7
B
1
6
9
5
7
2
3
8
4
1
V E
A
I
P UN
I
T
DGE
R
R I S
P
L S E
O R
Y E S
A
E
L K
+
2
A
3
8
2
6
5
9
1
7
4
Kakuro 2096
E J E C T
P RO
A O
T
O
MU
SQUAD
N
N
U T U GA S
E
N I L
L A X
U Z Z
I
O
I
I ON
P A L
HA P
T OE
E
B
N
R Y MA C AW
S
A
E
O
U S UR P
S KU
+
Killer 5929
16
x
-
Set Square 2099
Sudoku 9758
28
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
= 8 We?ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
should be
= 40 sum
calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
3
-
Lexica 4193
56min
= 33 the numbers
+
+
-
Enter each of
2
x
-
Sudoku 9757
Killer Deadly No 5932
-
Codeword 3294
E D
A
T
A P P A R
P
I
NG
GOE SO
E
A
A R E S T A
E
R
R
NC E R
H
H A
D E W N
WR A NG
R
E
Y E
D A Y T R
Sudoku 9756
21
x
Solutions
10
8
E
Pass
Pass
1?
2?
3?(1)
1?
3NT(2) End
(1) 16+ points. With a hand that was merely
planning to rebid 2?, North should pass.
(2) There are 25 combined points, a heart
stopper and a simply beautiful ?Q9.
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
2
4 5 6
From these letters, make words of four
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 15 words, average;
21, good; 25, very good; 29, excellent
Vul: Neither
W
2 2
Set Square No 2100
Dealer: North
S
OF IT
3 8
� PUZZLER MEDIA
12
Now the basic principle is
understood, you can exercise a
little nous. On the same 1?-(P)1?-(2?) auction ? here are two
more hands that were planning to
rebid 1NT: ? K 2
?A 9 3
OF IT
1/
2
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
?A 3
?Q J 2
?5
+9
________
醨h DkD D]
�D gp0 ]
� 0pDpD 4]
轉ND )qDp]
� D ) D )]
蹹QD DND ]
跴D D )PD]
�$ $ D I ]
谅媚牌侨
________
醨D D DkD] Winning Move
郉 $ gr0 ]
遬D DpDQD] White to play. This position is from
Reykjavik 2018.
轉 D G Dp] Rapport-Lenderman,
White could recapture the black bishop on
� D $ D )] f3 but instead he found a dynamic and
蹹 D DbD ] decisive method to continue his attack.
� ) D )PI] What did he play?
�D D D ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
谅媚牌侨 my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
The Next Level
1. Basic opener strategy
(iii) Coping with Intervention
When the opponents intervene,
the basic principle is to make your
planned bid if you are able, otherwise to pass. In general, when making a bid to limit your hand, don?t
be pushed up by the opponents.
Exercise: You opened 1?, lefthand opponent passed, partner
responded 1? and right-hand
opponent made a nuisance of
himself by overcalling 2?. Now
what?
?K 2
?A J 3
?K J 2
x2
50%
OF IT
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
European Championship
Cell Blocks No 3178
Brain Trainer
� PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
5
4
7
3
1
6
9
8
2
3
9
1
5
2
8
7
6
4
4
7
2
1
5
9
6
3
8
8
6
9
7
4
3
2
1
5
1
5
3
6
8
2
4
7
9
1 Edinburgh 2 Mercedes Benz 3 Network 4 Morning or the
part of the day between sunrise and noon 5 Elton John
6 Robert Walpole 7 Dennis Skinner 8 Boris Berezovsky
9 Queensland 10 Brain. They are a type of neuron that
allows many species to understand their position in
space 11 William G Stewart 12 Arnaldur Indridason
13 Tavi Gevinson 14 Tanni Grey-Thompson or Baroness
Grey-Thompson 15 F-16 Fighting Falcon ? originally
developed by General Dynamics, now manufactured by
Lockheed Martin
28.03.18
MindGames
Sudoku
Difficult No 9759
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Fiendish No 9760
1
6 7
7
2
3
6
8
5
4
9
3
6 5
1
9
8
4
Verset
a Well-practised
b An under-tunic
c A short verse
Nefast
a A dissenter
b Emphatically no!
c Wicked
6
2
8
4 2
8
3
7
5
1
4
PUZZLER MEDIA
3
1
9
1 4
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
Dulcian
a A musical instrument
b Honeyed language
c A worn-out horse
Super fiendish No 9761
1
9
2
2 3
4
8 6
4
3
2
5
6
8 5
2
7 4
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today?s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company?s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2196
USAF/GETTY IMAGES
1 The UK?s longest
numbered road, the A1
connects London with
which Scottish city?
11 Sally Geeson, who
played Sally in Bless
This House, married
which producer of that
sitcom in 1976?
2 Featured on the album
Pearl, which 1970 Janis
Joplin song is named
after a German carmaker?
3 In which 1976 film is
Howard Beale (Peter
Finch) billed as ?the mad
prophet of the airwaves??
4 Which period of the
day is also known as
?forenoon??
5 Which English
musician (b 1947) is
the godfather of John
Lennon?s son Sean?
6 Which statesman is
regarded as the de facto
12 Which Icelandic
writer?s Detective
Erlendur series
includes the novels Jar
City, The Draining Lake
and Arctic Chill?
15
first prime minister of
Great Britain?
Titness Park, near Ascot,
on March 23, 2013?
7 Which MP for
Bolsover became the
longest continuously
serving Labour MP in
December 2017?
9 Mount Bartle Frere is
the highest point in
which Australian state?
8 Which 67-year-old
Russian oligarch was
found dead at his home,
10 Discovered in
2005 by Edvard and
May-Britt Moser,
grid cells are found in
which organ?
13 Which American
writer was aged 12 when
she created the fashion
blog Style Rookie?
14 Which former
Paralympian was born
Carys Davina Grey?
15 Entering service in
1979, which US air force
fighter aircraft is pictured?
Answers on page 15
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1057 by Izetti
1
2
3
4
8
7
14
15
11
12
13
17
18
19
21
23
6
9
10
16
5
20
22
24
Across
8 Admonish soldiers wanting to
demonstrate (7)
9 The fellow coming in top is
worth little (5)
10 Saw commercial taking a long
time (5)
11 Honesty of Rob overwhelmed
by compassion (7)
12 Main store could provide this
household item (5,4)
14 Expert touch (3)
16 Juice the old man?s knocked
over (3)
18 People in government
organising means test (9)
21 Something very hard that?s in
a suit (7)
22 Dissolute men ? they get into
scrapes (5)
23 Female achieved success,
collecting arts degree (5)
24 Company introducing various
menus ? what will diners do?
(7)
Yesterday?s solution on page 15
Down
1 A river running down to one
American state and another
(8)
2 Record previous evidence of
road-user?s inexperience? (1-5)
3 Anvil maybe, blacksmith?s ?rst
one (4)
4 Heading north, salesperson
encountered anger (6)
5 Miser has to get a foreign
article for nothing ? what he
must do? (8)
6 Bow to convey greeting ?
backside becomes visible! (6)
7 Nimble agent nabbing traitor
?nally (4)
13 Music not corrected: get the
number wrong (8)
15 Prohibition ? one sent to
outhouse is ostracised (8)
17 Note added on charitable gifts
in holy book (6)
19 Kidnap sailor on vessel (6)
20 Cosmetics put together (4-2)
21 Descent from treeless upland
(4)
22 Sound from pig not good ? it
being this? (4)
7 1
3
8
1
8 5
9
6 9
4
4
6
9 2
3
4 3
7
3 8
1 5
1
5
8 4
iew of
the recent international football friendlies
10.00 5 Live Sport: Rugby Union Weekly
10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with David Ginola 10.00 Jim White, Tony
Cascarino and Bob Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee
and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and
Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00
Marc Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Mary Anne Hobbs
1.00am You?ll Never Be 16 Again 2.00 The
Upsetter: Lee ?Scratch? Perry in His Own
Words 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music?s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Anne-Marie Minhall 5.00
Classic FM Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics
8.00 The Full Works Concert. Jane Jones
discusses the Budapest Festival Orchestra.
Rachmaninov (Vocalise Opus 34 No.13);
Dvor醟 (Symphony No.9 in E minor Opus 95
? ?From the New World?); Beethoven
(Piano Concerto No.4 in G minor Opus 58);
and Kodaly (Hary Janos Suite) 10.00
Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
11
1G T
artsfirst night
HUGO GLENDINNING
Comedy
Jason Manford
Colosseum, Watford
Theatre
Songs for Nobodies
Wilton?s Music Hall, E1
W
I
{{{((
hat happens when you
grow up working class,
but you end up doing
so well for yourself
that you raise five
children on a diet of hummus and
crudit閟? In his new touring stand-up
show, Muddle Class, Jason Manford
tells us how he spends half his time
these days being heckled by his
brother, a plumber, for having grown
highfalutin and entitled and the other
half being sneered at in shoe shops by
middle-class mums who think he?s
letting his children run amok. He?s
neither one thing nor the other.
An always affable stage presence,
the 36-year-old Mancunian rules his
gigs with a gentle smile that conceals
a rod of comedic iron. He knows what
he?s about. He starts by mockapologising to the punters still filing in
for starting the show bang on time.
He itemises the show?s length (two
and a half hours) and themes (class,
plus a notion, taken from Will Storr?s
book Selfie, that our brains are split
into our idealised versions of ourselves
and the real selves that struggle to live
up to those aspirations). He is so in
control of the agenda that he is even
there in the background in the
interval, during which are piped songs
from his recent album of show tunes.
The result is as consistently
entertaining as it is well marshalled.
Manford is adroitly witty and genially
inclusive. He has fun with his weight,
his skewed self-perception and his
fruitless attempts to perfect himself.
He deploys his intelligence with a light
touch as he talks about political
correctness, his upbringing on a Moss
Side council estate, working at Asda
and wanting to give his children all the
advantages without spoiling them.
The show falters only near the end,
as it becomes apparent that the smart
themes don?t build to much, that they
are there to sell some always adept,
sometimes personal, but never wildly
surprising material about success and
parenthood. Manford, in short, is
a total pro. No bursts of genius, but
not a single flat patch either.
Dominic Maxwell
Touring to Dec 19, jasonmanford.com
{{{{(
The monks of the Shaolin Temple in Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui?s production, marking its tenth birthday
Get your kicks here
East meets
West in this
dazzling kungfu show with
the Shaolin
monks, says
Debra Craine
Dance
Sutra
Sadler?s Wells
{{{{{
Royal Academy private view
Subscribers can join us on April 3 for
a private view of Charles I: King and
Collector at the Royal Academy of
Arts. Visit mytimesplus.co.uk
I
n the 20 years since Sadler?s Wells
was reborn as a new home for
dance there have been numerous
hits on its spacious rebuilt stage,
but few have matched the allure of
Sutra. First seen in 2008, and marking
its tenth anniversary with a revival on
the stage where it had its premiere,
this inspired collaboration remains
one of the most engaging and
enjoyable creations of the past decade.
Directed and choreographed by the
Belgian Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui, designed
by the British sculptor Antony
Gormley and performed by the
kung-fu fighting monks of the Shaolin
Temple in Dengfeng, China, it?s a
wondrous confrontation of cultures.
And in effect that?s what Cherkaoui
plays up in his West-meets-East
scenario. We have a hapless European,
here portrayed by Ali Thabet, who is
introduced to the exotic world of
19 Chinese monks who are masters of
discipline and virtuosos in the martial
arts. Thabet is the archetypal
westerner, out of his depth as he tries
to insinuate himself into the monks?
tightly knit, highly trained world. It?s
a hopeless endeavour and the source
of much enlivening humour.
Key to the success of Sutra (which
means thread) is Gormley?s designs.
They are not stage decorations in the
conventional sense, but part of the
architecture of the dance. Gormley
fills the stage with five-sided wooden
boxes (60cm x 60cm x 180cm) that
become beds, coffins, bathtubs,
bookshelves, plinths, lifeboats, walls
and even giant dominoes. The monks
manipulate the boxes, balance on
top of them and crash to the floor.
They crawl into their tiny confined
spaces and carry their weight on
their shoulders ? they are fearless
in their interaction with Gormley?s
building blocks. Szymon Brzoska?s
music, played by an onstage band, is
haunting and a touch melancholic;
perfectly atmospheric.
On opening night Thabet?s guide
on his journey of discovery was an
adorable pint-sized child monk, Xing
Kaishuo, aged eight. Already he?s an
extraordinary mover who outpaces
Thabet (an amusingly awestruck
performance) in every way; their
man-boy relationship is one of the
show?s most delightful aspects.
The energy and agility of the monks
? scary-strong, stunning acrobats ?
is incredible as they segue from
aggressive fighting moves to seamless
arcs of dance. The amazing backflips
and flying kicks are to be expected,
less so the ferocious grace displayed
by the monks. Sutra, a Sadler?s Wells
commission, has been performed in
33 countries ? how fantastic to
welcome it home again.
Box office: 020 7863 8000, tonight
was sceptical when I sat down in
the too-close chairs that seem
determined to mimic aircraft
economy class (where?s my neck
pillow, I thought). This is billed as
a new play by Joanna Murray-Smith
from Melbourne, but it looks
suspiciously like a tribute show to five
singers: Judy Garland, Patsy Cline,
蒬ith Piaf, Billie Holiday and Maria
Callas.
I am allergic to tribute shows,
though, and, happily, this is miles
better. Murray-Smith has written
a clutch of intriguing mini-plays (they
are too intricate to be mere vignettes)
in which a ?nobody? meets a
?somebody?. It provides a flash of
knowing and feels very intimate.
First up is Bea Appleton, lavatory
attendant, who is in tears because
her man has just left her for a
waitress on Eighth Avenue in New
York. She?s working at the Plaza
Ath閚閑 in April 1961, the night of
Garland?s Carnegie Hall concert. She
notices that Garland?s hem has come
undone. She and Garland start
chatting and the conversation turns
to men, of course.
Bernadette Robinson plays both
women and it works because she
convinces as both and treats each with
equal respect. She sings, with all the
mannerisms that Garland fans know,
Come Rain or Come Shine. It?s showbiz,
it?s Judy, but it?s not shlock.
Next up is Pearl Avalon, an
usherette at the Soldiers and Sailors
Memorial Building in Kansas City.
She?s a bit of a singer herself and is
thrilled when she meets Cline, the
country great whose voice was as big
as the prairie. With Piaf, the nobody
is a librarian from near Nottingham
whose dad was in the French
Resistance and met Piaf when she
sang for them (L?Accord閛niste). It?s
a fabulous story (and funny), so I
won?t spoil it. Then there?s Holiday,
introduced by a go-get-?em reporter
on The New York Times whose name
is Too Junior Jones.
The set, by Justin Nardella, is a
simple circle, lit up with lights, with
the small (but brill) band behind: it?s
versatile and uncluttered. Simon
Phillips directs and so he will know
that the least convincing vignette, by
far, is the last, in which an Irish lass
named Orla finds herself on board
Aristotle Onassis?s yacht with Callas.
That one needs work, but the rest are
the (show) biz.
Ann Treneman
Box office: 020 7702 2789, to April 7
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Theatres
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66th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
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Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Football?s Foreign
Legion
ITV4, 9pm
In October
2017 the
International
Centre for
Sports Studies? Football
Observatory revealed
that foreign players
accounted for 61.2 per
Early
Top
pick
cent of minutes played
in the Premier League.
Chelsea and Arsenal
led the way with
90.4 per cent and
84.1 per cent
respectively. It hasn?t
always been this way.
There wasn?t an influx
of players coming to ply
their trade until 1978,
when the EEC voted
that nationality should
not be an issue. And it
was Tottenham Hotspur
who led the charge,
with a double swoop
for Ossie Ardiles and
Ricky Villa, who had
just helped Argentina
to win the World Cup
final. ?Spurs Scoop
the World,? ran the
headline on the back
of the Daily Express.
Forty years on,
this entertaining
documentary, narrated
by Todd Carty (aka
Grange Hill?s Tucker
Jenkins), catches up
with some of those
trailblazing players.
?A lot of people said
to me, ?No, Ossie, don?t
go to England because
they don?t really play
football,? ? Ardiles
recalls. ?But I thought,
?We will see about
that.? ? Not everyone
rolled out the red
carpet ? as well as
bureaucracy, there
were dodgy pitches
and even dodgier
tackles to overcome.
However, it wasn?t all
one-way traffic, with
Kevin Keegan heading
to Germany, where
he became a star on
and off the pitch.
Journalists, including
Robert Peston and
Patrick Barclay, also
contribute, revealing
how football?s first
foreign legion affected
the game and society.
Mission: Kill
Hitler
Yesterday, 8pm
The most famous failed
attempt to assassinate
Adolf Hitler is the July
1944 plot, depicted in
the 2008 Tom Cruise
film Valkyrie. Less well
known was Operation
Foxley, in which the
F黨rer was to be killed
by agents of the British
Special Operations
Executive during his
daily morning walk
at his Bavarian
residence. The mission
remained a secret until
the early 1990s, and
this documentary,
based on the British
Secret Service?s
declassified documents,
uses dramatic
reconstructions to
tell the story and
reveal why it too
ended in failure.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Holding Back the Years. Ainsley
Harriott looks at different ways to stay happy as you get
older (r) (AD) 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer.
Properties in south Wales, Shropshire and east London (r)
11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming. The of?cers confront a
man who has not paid the rent he owes to a single
mother (r) 11.45 Claimed and Shamed. A pair of
motorists confess to claiming for the same damage twice
12.15pm Bargain Hunt. From the East of England
Showground in Peterborough (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC News at
One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45
Doctors. Mrs Tembe has to deal with a theft at Campus,
and a conversation with Joni?s father makes Daniel
question what he knows (AD) 2.15 A Place to Call Home.
George and Sarah contemplate a suitable grave site for
Regina. Last in the series 3.05 Escape to the Country.
Alistair Appleton helps a couple search for a property in
the Cotswolds (r) (AD) 3.45 Money for Nothing.
Transforming items reclaimed from Woking Recycling
Centre 4.30 Flog It! From Powderham Castle near Exeter
(r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show (r) 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am The Repair Shop (r) 6.30 Money for Nothing (r)
7.15 Escape to the Country (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign Zone:
Great British Railway Journeys (r) (AD, SL) 8.30 Classic
Mary Berry (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire 11.00
BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 Daily Politics 1.00pm FILM:
Wuthering Heights (U, 1939) A homeless boy taken
in by a family develops an obsessive lifelong bond with
his adoptive sister. Period drama based on Emily Bront�s
novel with Merle Oberon and Laurence Olivier (b/w) 2.40
Monty Halls? Great Irish Escape. Monty Halls tries to
retrieve a vital piece of equipment from the seabed (r)
(AD) 3.40 Blitz Cities. Myleene Klass explores the effect
the Blitz had on Norwich (r) (AD) 4.15 Indian Ocean with
Simon Reeve. The adventurer travels around the coastline
of the Indian Ocean, setting out from South Africa and
moving on to Mozambique and Zanzibar (r) 5.15 Put Your
Money Where Your Mouth Is. Antiques experts Christina
Trevanion and Mark Stacey face off at an auction in
Sevenoaks, where Christina plays catch-up and Mark falls
in love with a romantic painting (r) 6.00 Eggheads.
Quiz show 6.30 The Repair Shop. The team restores a
painting of a wintry Parisian scene
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current
affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories,
cooking and gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio
chat show 10.30 This Morning. Phillip Scho?eld and Holly
Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen 12.30pm Loose Women. With Su
Pollard and Kerry Needham 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00
Judge Rinder. Cameras follow the criminal barrister as he
takes on real-life cases in a studio courtroom 3.00
Dickinson?s Real Deal. The treasure-hunting tour arrives
in Maidenhead, Berkshire, where Tim Hogarth and Ian
Towning appraise a Royal Doulton Lifeguard ?gurine and a
set of antique ivory hairbrushes (r) 4.00 Tipping Point.
Ben Shephard hosts the quiz show in which contestants
drop tokens down a choice of four chutes in the hope of
winning a �,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh
presents as contestants work as a team to take on
ruthless quiz genius the Chaser in the hope of winning a
potential prize pot worth thousands of pounds 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
(AD) 10.05 Ramsay?s Kitchen Nightmares USA. Gordon
Ramsay concludes his visit to Zayna Flaming Grill in
Redondo Beach, California (r) 11.00 Undercover Boss
USA. With the president of a soft drink and sweet shop
franchise (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Come Dine with Me. Four cooks from Leeds battle to win
the �000 prize (r) 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers. Nathan and
Debbs are taken aback by a ventriloquist?s dummy, while
Dan appraises a classic campervan and considers one of
his biggest ever deals (r) 2.10 Countdown. With Jay
Rayner 3.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun. Finding a
holiday home in the Caribbean (r) 4.00 A New Life in the
Sun. A swarm of insects threatens the launch of a
British-run holiday complex in France 5.00 Four in a Bed.
For the third visit of the week, the group head to The
Ardingly Inn in West Sussex (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale.
Martin Roberts sells items at a car boot sale 6.00 The
Simpsons. Three Hallowe?en-themed tales (r) (AD) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Glenn gives Adam a new order, and a familiar
face returns to the village with an announcement (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.15 Can?t
Pay? We?ll Take It Away. Kevin Stokes and Brian
O?Shaughnessy get into a doorstep confrontation with
a debtor who wants to prove her family business is
bankrupt, but when tempers ?are Brian is assaulted (r)
12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 GPs Behind Closed
Doors: Best of Patient Files 2. A man battling with cancer
re?ects on his progress, and a young man suffering from
the rare Guillain-Barr� syndrome discusses dealing with
the debilitating condition (r) (AD) 1.10 Access. Showbiz
news and gossip 1.15 Home and Away: Buried Alive (AD)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS: Catching a Serial Killer.
The team tries to trace the history of a gun believed to
have been used in a murder at a naval base (r) (AD) 3.15
FILM: My Daughter Must Live (12, TVM, 2014)
A woman whose daughter needs a life-saving transplant
tries to track down the child?s father ? last seen ?eeing
for his life. Thriller with Joelle Carter and Madeleine
Martin (AD) 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Chloe
upsets Piper, while Holly steals some medical records (r)
(AD) 6.00 Home and Away: Buried Alive. Alf?s injuries
trigger a heart attack (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
We are focusing more than ever on investigative journalism.
You can subscribe from �a week.
7PM
7.00 Mountain: Life at the Extreme
A look at life on the highest mountain
range on Earth, the Himalayas. The
programme follows snow leopards as
they search for food, and monkeys
huddling for warmth, and the athletes
who compete in the gruelling Everest
marathon (2/3) (r) (AD)
7.00 Emmerdale Charity offers a helping
hand, Vanessa worries about an
impending visit, and Robert piles
the pressure onto Jimmy (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street Eileen tells Liz
she has no choice but to move away,
while Leanne and Peter are worried
about Simon?s behaviour (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 King Tut?s Treasure Secrets
Documentary exploring the thousands
of items found with the great Egyptian
pharaoh when his tomb was ?rst
uncovered, and asking what they might
reveal about the life and times in
which Tutankhamun lived (1/3) (r)
8.00 DIY SOS: The Big Build Nick
Knowles and the team head to
Birmingham to transform the family
home of parents Charlotte and Chris,
whose twins were born prematurely
and have a condition known as global
development delay (1/7) (r) (AD)
8.00 The Secret Helpers A man whose
family life is in crisis, and a woman
whose stammer is stopping her from
moving on in her job, seek advice from
the Secret Helpers (2/5) (AD)
8.00 Britain?s Brightest Family Two
families compete in the third round
of the quarter-?nals (AD)
8.00 The Supervet Take That?s Mark Owen
brings his 18-month-old Doberman,
who needs treatment on a limp, into
the surgery. Meanwhile, a four-yearold Coton-Tzu from Dublin with hip
dysplasia may require a double hip
replacement (5/6) (AD)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors Doctors
treat a seven-year-old boy who was
knocked unconscious after a crash on
his bike, and a patient suffering from
depression visits the surgery to
discuss treatment options (AD)
9.00 MasterChef The ?rst group of
contestants head to the Eneko
restaurant in Covent Garden, London,
where they will be responsible for
serving dishes to customers
during a busy lunch service (AD)
9.00 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew Cunanan invites himself to
stay in Minneapolis with friends David
Madson and Jeff Trail (5/9) (AD)
9.00 The Real Full Monty: Live
A special live performance from
Shef?eld led by Ashley Banjo and
Alexander Armstrong, alongside a
host of other famous names, to raise
awareness of men?s cancers. This
time the new cast of famous men,
including Jeff Brazier, Tom Parker,
James Argent and Ainsley Harriott,
share their own personal stories and
shed their clothing to inspire more
men to make vital checks that could
save lives. See Viewingg Guide
10.30 ITV News
9.00 One Born Every Minute Beth and
David, who met online, arrive in the
hospital awaiting the birth of their
baby daughter. Meanwhile, 28-year-old
Kathereen from Colombia and
Birmingham-born Nick, who?s 40, are in
the maternity ward expecting their
second child together (4/10) (AD)
9.00 Grenfell Tower: Minute By Minute
Survivors of the Grenfell tower ?re
share their personal accounts of the
blaze that killed 72 people, recalling
the decisions that saved their lives,
and remembering the friends,
neighbours and loved ones who did
not make it out of the building
Late
11PM
10PM
9PM
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones host the magazine show, with
stories of interest from around the UK,
plus big-named guests in the studio
8PM
UK residents only, aged 18 or over. This offer is subject to availability. New subscribers only. Visit store.thetimes.co.uk for full T&Cs.
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 A Question of Sport Quiz with
guests Ricky Hatton, Tim Bresnan,
Asha Philip and Michael Jamieson
11.15 Film 2018 A review of Steven
Spielberg?s latest blockbuster,
Ready Player One, Wes Anderson?s
Isle of Dogs, and British boxing
drama Journeyman (5/5)
11.45 Jimi: All Is By My Side (15, 2013)
Biopic of Jimi Hendrix following the
events of 1966, when he left New York
to spend a year living in London.
Starring Andr� Benjamin, Hayley
Atwell and Imogen Poots
1.40am-6.00 BBC News
9.55 Live at the Apollo Russell Kane
comp鑢es an evening of stand-up at
London?ss Hammersmith Apollo,
treating the audience to his own brand
of humour and introducing routines
by the comedy circuit stars Roisin
Conaty and Nick Helm (6/7) (r)
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day?s
events presented by Kirsty Wark
8.30 Coronation Street Seb and Gary
start to crack open the Mill concrete
with sledgehammers (AD)
11.15 Amazing Hotels: Life Beyond the
Lobby Giles Coren and Monica Galetti
visit a hotel in South Africa that has
been built into a former grain silo, and
discover how staff have coped with the
challenge of keeping the place clean in
the wake of the worst drought to hit
Cape Town in a century (5/6) (r) (AD)
11.00 Regional News
12.15am David Attenborough?s Natural Curiosities
The presenter explores the evolution of aggression in the
animal kingdom (r) (AD) 12.45 Sign Zone: MasterChef.
Seven more amateur cooks are put to the test (r) (AD,
SL) 1.45-2.45 The World?s Most Extraordinary Homes.
Exploring four extraordinary homes in Japan (r) (AD, SL)
12.15am Heathrow: Britain?s Busiest Airport An
employee helps a passenger who has lost her daughter (r)
(AD) 1.05 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming 3.00 Tenable.
Five friends from Surrey compete (r) (SL) 3.50 ITV
Nightscreen. Text-based information service 5.05-6.00
The Jeremy Kyle Show. Talk show (r) (SL)
11.20 easyJet: Inside the Cockpit
In Paris, newly quali?ed pilot Ryan
Clyde faces the prospect of conducting
his ?rst night landing, while back in
the UK, cadet Sophie learns how to
deal with G-forces (2/2) (r) (AD)
10.00 Are You Autistic? A documentary
challenging what people think they
know about autism, exploring myths
surrounding the condition and
examining what living with autism
is really like in the UK today.
See Viewing Guide (AD)
10.00 Social Housing, Social Cleansing
Exploring the neglect and regeneration
of council estates across the UK in the
past 30 years, and the stories of people
who are ?ghting to save their homes
from demolition in communities in
London, Glasgow and Nottingham
11.05 999: On the Frontline Paramedics
rush to save the life of a cyclist who
has been crushed by a lorry in
Leamington Spa, and in Coventry,
a man is treated after falling
from a barge (3/10)
11.05 Under Siege (15, 1992) Terrorists
in?ltrate a US battleship in a carefully
orchestrated move to steal its arsenal
of nuclear weapons, unaware the ship?s
resourceful cook ? a veteran US Navy
Seal ? and a scantily clad stripper
are about to foil their plans. Action
adventure starring Steven Seagal
12.05am Live from Abbey Road Classics New series.
A look at live performances 12.30 Seven Year Switch (r)
(AD) 1.30 FILM: The Raven (15, 2012) Thriller with
John Cusack (SL) 3.20 George Clarke?s Amazing Spaces
(r) (AD) 4.15 Coast vs Country (r) 5.10 Kirstie?s
Handmade Treasures (r) 5.30-6.00 Streetmate (r)
1.05am SuperCasino 3.10 Secrets of the National
Trust with Alan Titchmarsh. The host visits Cragside,
a Victorian estate in Northumberland (r) (AD) 4.00
Britain?s Greatest Bridges. The design of the Tyne Bridge
(r) (AD, SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 Great
Artists (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
The Real Full
Monty: Live
ITV, 9pm
Last year, to mark the
20th anniversary of the
film The Full Monty,
Alexander Armstrong
led a group at the
London Palladium
(under the tutelage of
Ashley Banjo from the
dance troupe Diversity)
in its final routine to
raise awareness of
prostate and cancer
charities. This year new
stars, including the
retired rugby player
Ugo Monye, the former
footballer John Hartson
and the chef Ainsley
Harriott, participate.
And full monty means
full monty. ?We?ve all
got a willy, we?ve all
got balls,? says the
pop singer Tom Parker.
?It?s fine.? It?s good
fun for a great cause.
Are You Autistic?
Channel 4, 10pm
Experts believe that
thousands could be
autistic without
realising it. A lost
generation of adults
struggle through life
without a diagnosis,
missed by a system that
is just getting to grips
with the condition. This
documentary, hosted by
Anna Richardson with
two young autistic
campaigners, Georgia
Harper and Sam
Ahern, sets out to
reveal autism?s true
face in the UK. Two
adults who think
they may have autism
agree to be tested in
an experiment that
breaks the condition
down into three main
areas of behaviour ?
social interaction,
organisation and sense.
The Putin
Interviews
Sky Atlantic, 11.10pm
There has never been
a better time to watch
the film director Oliver
Stone?s interviews with
Vladimir Putin from
last June. Putin is no
fool; he wouldn?t have
offered access to Stone
if he risked coming
across badly. Stone was
criticised by James
Poniewozik of The
New York Times for
being ?embarrassingly
generous?. The value of
the interviews was best
put by Verne Gay of the
newspaper Newsday:
?As a conversation
that covers a vast span
of Russian history,
culture, and politics
as refracted through
the mind of Russia?s
president, it?s often
remarkable.?
Sport Choice
Eurosport 2, 1.30pm
The 73rd Dwars door
Vlaanderen (Across
Flanders) takes place
today. The one-day
bicycle race is
contested over 181km
and features a lot of
famous Flemish hills,
with the final 22km
including sharp climbs
up Vossehol, Holstraat
and Nokereberg.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Dog Whisperer (r) 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue (r) 8.00 Motorway Patrol (r)
(AD) 9.00 Road Wars (r) 10.00 Warehouse 13
(r) 11.00 David Attenborough?s Conquest of the
Skies (r) (AD) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00
The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r)
6.00 Futurama. Sci-? capers (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 DC?s Legends of Tomorrow. The team
heads out on a mission to save rock ?n? roll
9.00 FILM: Star Trek (12, 2009) The ?rst
mission of the starship Enterprise leads the
crew into a battle with a Romulan commander
from the future. Sci-? adventure with Chris Pine
11.25 The Force: North East. Of?cers race to
a stabbing outside a pub in Newcastle (r)
12.25am Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r) (AD)
1.25 Road Wars (r) 2.00 In the Long Run (r)
3.00 The Force: Essex (r) (AD) 4.00 It?s
Me or the Dog (r) 5.00 Futurama (r)
6.00am The British (r) (AD) 7.00 Urban Secrets
(r) 8.00 Richard E Grant?s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
(AD) 1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue
Bloods (r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r)
5.00 House (r) (AD) 6.00 House (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. A woman claims God told her
who murdered her mother (r) (AD)
9.00 Save Me. Nelly in?ltrates a secret network
that may hold the key to his daughter?s return,
and Goz makes a shocking discovery (5/6) (AD)
10.00 SMILF. Bridge chooses three
different paths on Father?s Day
10.35 SMILF. Bridge tries out for the
Women?s National Basketball Association
11.10 The Putin Interviews. The writer and
director Oliver Stone interviews Russian
President Vladimir Putin. See Viewing Guide (r)
12.20am The Putin Interviews (r) 1.30
Save Me (r) (AD) 2.30 Here and Now (r)
3.40 SMILF (r) 4.15 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Motorway Patrol (r) 7.00 Highway
Patrol (r) 7.30 Border Patrol (r) 8.00 UK Border
Force (r) (AD) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r) 10.00
Cold Case (r) 11.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia
12.00 The Real A&E (r) (AD) 1.00pm Air
Rescue (r) (AD) 2.00 Stop, Search, Seize (r)
(AD) 3.00 Nothing to Declare (r) 5.00 CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation (r) 6.00 Air Rescue
(r) (AD) 6.30 Air Rescue (r) (AD)
7.00 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
7.30 The Real A&E (r) (AD)
8.00 Elementary. A magician is killed while
performing a classic stunt (r) (AD)
9.00 Grey?s Anatomy. Meredith tries to learn
more about Marie and her mother
10.00 The Good Doctor. Surgery is planned to
allow a patient to smile for the ?rst time (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Cold Case (r) 2.00 Scandal (r) 3.00
Criminal Minds (r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
5.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia (r)
6.00am Arts Scholarships: Sky Academy 6.10
Saul from Glyndebourne 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected 9.30 Landscape Artist of the Year
2016 10.30 Video Killed the Radio Star (AD)
11.00 The Eighties (AD) 12.00 Treasures of the
British Library (AD) 1.00pm Discovering: Orson
Welles (AD) 2.00 Tales of the Unexpected 2.30
Landscape Artist of the Year 2016 3.30 Video
Killed the Radio Star (AD) 4.00 The Eighties
(AD) 5.00 Treasures of the British Library (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Ernest Borgnine (AD)
7.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2018:
The Winner?s Story. Last in the series
8.00 National Treasures: The Art of Collecting
9.00 Discovering: Peter Lorre. A pro?le
10.00 Fanarchy. Documentary
11.55 FILM: Buster Keaton In Scarecrow
Two farmhands compete for the hand of the
same girl. But she?s not impressed with either of
them. Short comedy ?lm with Buster Keaton
12.15am The Glyndebourne Opera Cup
3.45 30 Degrees in February 5.00 Auction
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans Bitesize
7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 Premier
League Daily 11.00 Sky Sports Daily 12.00
Sky Sports News 6.00pm Sky Sports News
7.00 Joshua v Parker Countdown.
Counting down to the ?ght between
Anthony Joshua and Joseph Parker
7.30 Sky Sports Tonight.
This evening?s leading sports stories
8.00 Live ATP Masters Tennis: The Miami Open.
Coverage of the eighth day at the Tennis Centre
at Crandon Park, where the quarter-?nals begin
10.00 The Gloves Are Off: AJ v Parker.
Anthony Joshua and Joseph Parker
discuss their upcoming bout
10.30 AJ: Off Limits. Anna Woolhouse
interviews Anthony Joshua
11.00 Sky Sports News 12.00 Sky Sports News
2.00am Live ATP Masters Tennis. The Miami
Open. Coverage of the eighth day at the Tennis
Centre at Crandon Park, where the quarter?nals continue 4.00 Sky Sports News
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm The Priest In
the Jeans. Stephen Nolan meets Ardoyne priest
Gary Donegan 11.10 A Question of Sport.
Guests include Ricky Hatton and Tim Bresnan
11.40 Film 2018. A review of Ready Player One
12.10am FILM: Jimi: All Is By My Side (2013)
Biopic of Jimi Hendrix starring Andr� Benjamin
and Hayley Atwell 2.00-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 8.00pm-9.00 River City.
Lenny faces a tough test when he is put in
the frame for Rick Harper?s murder
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 8.00pm MasterChef. The
?rst group of contestants head to the Eneko
restaurant in Covent Garden, London (AD)
9.00-10.00 Keeping Faith. Following the crash,
Williams tries to shift the blame onto Faith
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 2.40pm-3.40 Politics
Scotland. A round-up of political news
7.00-8.00 The Ladykillers: Pest Detectives.
Imogen has to employ extreme measures to
deal with an infestation of bedbugs (r) (AD)
STV
As ITV except: 11.05pm Scotland Tonight
11.40 The Kyle Files. Jeremy Kyle tackles
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7.30 Danny Baker Rocks the Nineties (A Bit).
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rocking Brits the Justi?ed Ancients of Mu Mu
and Radiohead. Last in the series (r)
8.00 Metalworks!: The Knight?s Tale. How Henry
VIII combined German technology with
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the image of the perfect knight (2/3) (r)
9.00 Make! Craft Britain. The novice crafters
discover the ancient art of silver jewellery
making, and the origami expert Sam Tsang
demonstrates how to make a snack box
10.00 Carved with Love: The Genius of British
Woodwork. Paul Copley narrates the story of
Grinling Gibbons, the 17th-century woodcarver
who created masterpieces for Charles II
and William of Orange (2/3) (r)
11.00 Elegance and Decadence: The Age of the
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12.00 Treasures of Ancient Egypt (r) 1.00am
Top of the Pops 1983: Big Hits (r) 2.00
Metalworks!: The Knight?s Tale (r) 3.00-4.00
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Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 How I Met Your
Mother (r) (AD) 3.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 4.00
Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs
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9.00 Don?t Tell the Bride. A groom organises
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10.00 Five Star Hotel. A classy barbecue leads
to a staff revolt and a new manager is appointed
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
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the Sun: Home or Away (r) 5.55 Kirstie and
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9.00 Vet on the Hill. The team search to ?nd
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help with an alarming snort, and Scott
undertakes a challenging piece of surgery
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faces a big decision when she is found to have
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11.10 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
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1.10 Vet on the Hill (r) 2.15 24 Hours in A&E
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11.00am My Darling Clementine (PG,
1946) John Ford?s Western with Henry Fonda
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1963) Comedy starring Sid James (b/w) (AD)
2.50 Carry On Regardless (U, 1961)
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6.40 Vertical Limit (12, 2000) A wildlife
photographer masters his fears and climbs the
world?s second highest mountain to rescue his
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9.00 Pulp Fiction (18, 1994) A series of
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12.05am American Ultra (15, 2015) A store
clerk who is unaware he is a government sleeper
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Iron Fists (18, 2012) Martial arts adventure
starring RZA, Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu
6.00am The Planet?s Funniest Animals (r) 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.10
Who?s Doing the Dishes? (r) 7.55 Emmerdale (r)
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9.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
10.00 The Best of Tommy Cooper
10.30 The Best of Tommy Cooper
11.00 The Two Ronnies. Clodagh Rodgers
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Lawrence 1.40 Tales of Irish Castles 2.30
Sounds of the Seventies 3.00 Home Shopping
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As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Rare Breed:
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10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: F?ic a
F?ac (r) 11.10 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Jen a Jim Pob
Dim (r) 11.25 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Rapsgaliwn (r)
11.40 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Mwnci?n Dweud
Mwnci?n Gwneud (r) 11.45 Dysgu Gyda Cyw:
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Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh: Boom!
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Mwy o Sgorio 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y Cwm.
Gethin tries to undermine Sheryl and Hywel?s
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Hwyl (r) 10.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain (r) 11.0511.40 999: Ambiwlans Awyr Cymru (r) (AD)
14
Wednesday March 28 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3295
5
6
7
1
8
9
11
13
20
10
7
1
25
8
7
23
11
1
11
22
13
3
19
10
12
13
14
19
20
12
6
10
12
11
13
13
22
16
Train Tracks No 367
22
23
1
1
10
23
17
10
3
18
15
22
25
18
1
3
1
4
6
3
4
4
4
23
3
10
6
22
1
10
1
5
1
13
13
16
16
7
25
21
7
� PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7611
25
2
3
5
10
11
22
1
25
7
4
22
2
15
10
16
5
15
18
17
11
7
16
5
4
10
1
23
4
25
3
A
26
18
8
19
23
2
18
13
26
5
10
1
D
20
15
25
14
11
11
24
25
3
10
15
12
22
1
10
12
7
8
B
M
11
4
1
5
9
10
11
Goods barge (7)
Trial; exam (4)
Not illuminated (5)
Being acceptable to (7)
Removal from a fixed
position (12)
12 Far away (6)
13 Reflecting surface (6)
Solution to Crossword 7610
A S S E
S C
S T A
A P
I GH T
O
CK I N
A D
S AND U
L
A B
A S SUAG
N T
S
GRA S S
10
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
22
Across
AM
D
V I
I
S L
O
RO
7
D
O
P
P
E
L
G
A
N
G
E
R
S
S T I NG
O G L
I RANHA
T
E S
D BOS S
B U
HORS E S
U
A
L I S T ED
L
R N
L I EGE
O N S
ENA T E S
16 Extremely upsetting (3-9)
19 Destructive wind (7)
20 Ice house (5)
21 Cease work (4)
22 Military jet (7)
11
3
12
9
10
18
23
10
26
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
12
14
15
17
18
26
D
Scowl (4)
Metallic element (7)
Allowing no opposition (12)
Live (in a place) (6)
Exclusive group (5)
More close-fitting (7)
Dealing with arising
problems (12)
One who rectifies (7)
Curl; butterfly (7)
Done only once (3-3)
Doughnut shape (5)
Square number (4)
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G
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U
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No 4196
E
G
O
H
D
E
N
K
T
W
C
L
P
U
A
L
O
O
K
R
A
E
O
S
Y
T
U
D
D
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A
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F
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce
a completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4287
Futoshiki No 3138
Kakuro No 2097
>
2
<
� 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
<
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line ?block?, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
M
Down
1
2
3
4
6
7
8
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
13
22
?
?
28
34
6
14
17
29
23
16
13
16
35
16
34
17
33
23
17
16
12
3
21
7
16
17
11
<
33
9
4
9
7
3
7
7
<
<
<
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
29
4
4
26
6
15
3
24
10
14
� PUZZLER MEDIA
21
10
the times | Wednesday March 28 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
Concurrent with the FIDE World
Chess Candidates tournament in
Berlin, the 19th European Individual Chess Championship is
taking place in Batumi, Georgia.
The UK?s leading representatives
are reigning British champion
Gawain Jones and the British
Knockout champion, grandmaster
Luke McShane. After the early
rounds Jones was close on the
heels of the leader, the Armenian
grandmaster Robert Hovhannisyan.
In today?s game from Batumi,
the British champion adopts a
variation against the Caro-Kann
that has been advocated in the
forthcoming book Opening Repertoire 1 e4 by Cyrus Lakdawala
(Everyman Chess).
White: Gawain Jones
Black: Bogdan-Daniel Deac
European Team Championship,
Batumi 2018
Caro-Kann Defence
1 e4 c6 2 d4 d5 3 e5
Compared with the Advance
Variation against the French
Defence (1 e4 e6 2 d4 d5 3 e5), also
advocated by Lakdawala, pushing
forwards White?s e-pawn against
the Caro-Kann has certain advantages and disadvantages. In Black?s
favour, unlike in the French, is his
ability to freely develop his
queen?s bishop on f5. On the
negative side, Black will have to
lose a tempo if he ever wishes to
challenge White?s centre with the
counter ... c5.
3 ... Bf5 4 h4 h5
An alternative is 4 ... h6 meeting 5 g4 with 5 ... Bd7 (rather than
5 ... Bh7, when 6 e6 is a dangerous
sacrifice).
5 Bd3 Bxd3 6 Qxd3 e6 7 Bg5 Be7
8 Nf3 Nh6 9 Bxh6
In this position this is a new
concept. White prevents Black?s
king?s knight from reaching the
useful f5-square and also strands
the black king?s rook on the kingside. It remains to be seen,
though, whether the exchange of
minor pieces grants White any
significant advantage.
9 ... Rxh6 10 c4 dxc4 11 Qxc4
Qb6
A foolhardy adventure. Better
is 11 ... Nd7 with the plan of ...
Nb6-d5.
12 0-0 Qxb2
Compounding his misguided
avarice. Black can still resist with
12 ... Na6. Now he is crushed.
13 Nc3 Qc2 14 Rfc1 Qf5 15 Qb3
b6 16 Nb5
EASY
19 x 2 + 8
MEDIUM
138 + 84
HARDER
149 x 9 + 545
+ 1/2
OF IT
?J 2
?Q J 4
?K 3
?Q 4 2
? A K 4 3 2 ? AQ 7 6 2 ? A J 6 4 3 2
With the first, go ahead and
rebid 2NT, the bid you?d have
made if right-hand opponent had
passed. The one extra requirement
that has become relevant is having
a stopper in the opposing diamonds.
In contrast, you must pass with
the second, because you are unable
to make your planned 1NT rebid.
Rebid 2NT, and partner will
(should) place you with a hand that
was planning to rebid 2NT and
will raise to 3NT with some sevenpoint hand that renders 3NT hopeless. Remember, your pass does not
end the auction ? partner is still
there and has heard you open the
bidding; he will not go quietly
unless he has a poor hand.
You must also pass with the
third, because you cannot make
your planned 2? rebid. If you bid
3?, partner will place you with a
hand that was planning to jump to
3? ? 16+ points.
x2
+8
+ 46 x 2 + 78
75%
OF IT
? 62
60%
OF IT
+ 98
+ 1/2
OF IT
? 672
7/
8
? 957
+ 1/2
OF IT
+ 995
+ 1/2
OF IT
An elegant coup that demolishes Black?s resistance for if 16 ...
cxb5 17 Rc8+ Kd7 (17 ... Bd8 18 Qc3
is overwhelming) 18 Rac1 wins.
16 ... Kd8 17 Nxa7
This wins material and destroys
the black king?s defences.
17 ... Rxa7 18 Qxb6+ Rc7 19
Qxb8+ Kd7 20 Rab1 Bd8 21 Qa8
Black resigns
?A J 3
?J 4 2
?8 2
?AQ 10
? AQ 9 3 2
? AQ 10 9 2
With the first, you can swerve
into 2?. With the second, ?AQ10
is effectively ?AKQ, sitting over
the 2? bid. Also loving ?109, your
hand is worth way more than 16
points and you can bid 2NT.
?A 2
?4 2
?A K 10 5 4 2
? Q 10 4
? K J 9 6 ?A JN2
?A 10 9 8 6 3 W E ?Q 7
?J 8 7 6
?3
S
?6 5
? 8 7 5 3 ?Q 10 9 8
?K J 5
?Q 9
?K 7 4 3
N
After ?10, ?2, ?Q, you win ?K
(duck and East may switch to a
spade). ?J is protected from a second
heart lead from West but East is the
danger hand, leading through ?J5.
You cross to ?A and lead ?2 to
?9, not minding if West wins ?J.
Here, your safety play is crucial.
After ?9 wins, you cash ?Q, cross
to ? A and cash ?AK105 then
?K. Game made plus one.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
4
Yesterday?s answers
aching, arc, arch, arcing, cairn, can, car,
caring, cha, chagrin, chai, chain, chair,
char, chi, chin, china, ching, cigar, crag,
cran, hic, inarch, inch, narc, racing,
ranch, rich
Killer Tricky No 5931
11
20
15
19
17min
21
22
16
9
7
8
6
3
2
2
3
15
23
Quick Cryptic 1056
11
L
O
W
C
O
U
N
T
R
I
E
S
25
A S SO
N M
YOM I
W T
DD S
R M
O
E
A P D A
S
N T RU
A
R
HU T E
T
D
12
16
14
12
7
10
17
7
9
3
6
2
1
8
4
5
10
16
4
11
x
20
8
14
18
21
15
21
16
21
16
20
28
21
9
19
17
17
3
7
13
11
17
x
=
33
=
1
9
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
=
40
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
8
1
4
5
7
3
6
9
2
2
5
6
8
9
4
7
1
3
1
3
2
9
5
8
4
7
6
4
6
9
7
3
2
1
5
8
E L
I
U T
T
I L
E
B
L O
P
L E
E
I P
5
8
7
4
1
6
2
3
9
9
2
5
1
6
7
3
8
4
3
4
1
2
8
9
5
6
7
6
7
8
3
4
5
9
2
1
C
E
R
T
I
F
I
C
A
T
E
6
2
5
8
3
9
6
7
4
1
9
4
3
5
1
7
6
2
8
6
7
1
2
4
8
9
3
5
7
6
4
1
8
3
5
9
2
1
9
5
7
2
4
8
6
3
�
1
�
x
8
x
+
-
5
x
4
�
3
+
9
8
2
6
9
3
5
4
1
7
4
3
9
8
7
1
2
5
6
5
1
7
4
6
2
3
8
9
9
2
8
3
7
4
1
5
6
4
1
3
8
6
5
7
9
2
5
7
6
9
1
2
3
8
4
3
8
1
4
5
6
2
7
9
7
4
2
1
8
9
6
3
5
1
3
9
6
4
8
5
2
7
8
5
7
2
9
1
4
6
3
2
6
4
5
3
7
9
1
8
4
1
7
8
6
9
2
3
5
5
8
3
2
4
7
1
9
6
6
9
2
1
3
5
4
8
7
8
5
6
3
7
4
9
1
2
3
2
4
9
5
1
6
7
8
1
7
9
6
8
2
5
4
3
2
3
1
5
9
8
7
6
4
9
4
8
7
2
6
3
5
1
7
6
5
4
1
3
8
2
9
9
8
6
2
7
1
5
4
3
2
3
4
8
6
5
1
9
7
6
2
8
4
9
7
3
5
1
8 1 3 9
4 2 1 8
2 1
6
1
1
4 8 9 7
8 9 7 1 5
3 4
3 2 7
2 1 4
8
1 3 2
9
7
9
8
2
5
3
+
7
9
1
2
1
2 9
4 7
Train Tracks 366
1
Quintagram
1 Maze
2 Hilt
3 Plough
4 Earl Grey
5 Unorthodox
5
1
5
4
4
3
4
5
4
5
3
A
3
1
5
7
1
B
W
E
E
A
A
R
A
S
A
T
E
B
T
V
R
O
H
W
L
P
R
N
I
P
U
P
A
P
I
A
C
L
E
L
Suko 2196
4
?
5
1
2
3
2
?
1
?
4
2 < 3
1
4
5
1
3 > 2
KenKen 4286
E
O
5 > 3
2
?
4
?
5
4
?
5
O
O
Futoshiki 3137
3
O
E
Y
O
B
Cell Blocks 3177
Lexica 4194
F
Brain Trainer
Easy 63
Medium 437
Harder 5,211
2 2
3
3
3
3
2 4
2
4
3
2
10
4
2
Word watch
Dulcian (a) A
Renaissance
woodwind
instrument,
precursor to the
bassoon
Verset (c) A
short, often
sacred, verse
Nefast (c)
Nefarious, wicked
Chess
1 Rf4! Raf8 (not 1
... Rxf4 2 Qxg7
mate) and now 2
Rc8! leaves Black
without a good
reply to the
threat of 3 Qxf7+,
e.g. 2 ... Rf6 3
Rxf6 Bxf6 4 Bxf6
Rxc8 5 Qxg7 mate
Quiz
Killer 5930
7
1
5
9
3
4
8
2
6
3 1 2
1 2 4
3 5
3
5 2 1
1 3
1 5
9 6 8
7 8 9
5 7
B
1
6
9
5
7
2
3
8
4
1
V E
A
I
P UN
I
T
DGE
R
R I S
P
L S E
O R
Y E S
A
E
L K
+
2
A
3
8
2
6
5
9
1
7
4
Kakuro 2096
E J E C T
P RO
A O
T
O
MU
SQUAD
N
N
U T U GA S
E
N I L
L A X
U Z Z
I
O
I
I ON
P A L
HA P
T OE
E
B
N
R Y MA C AW
S
A
E
O
U S UR P
S KU
+
Killer 5929
16
x
-
Set Square 2099
Sudoku 9758
28
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
= 8 We?ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
should be
= 40 sum
calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
3
-
Lexica 4193
56min
= 33 the numbers
+
+
-
Enter each of
2
x
-
Sudoku 9757
Killer Deadly No 5932
-
Codeword 3294
E D
A
T
A P P A R
P
I
NG
GOE SO
E
A
A R E S T A
E
R
R
NC E R
H
H A
D E W N
WR A NG
R
E
Y E
D A Y T R
Sudoku 9756
21
x
Solutions
10
8
E
Pass
Pass
1?
2?
3?(1)
1?
3NT(2) End
(1) 16+ points. With a hand that was merely
planning to rebid 2?, North should pass.
(2) There are 25 combined points, a heart
stopper and a simply beautiful ?Q9.
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
2
4 5 6
From these letters, make words of four
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 15 words, average;
21, good; 25, very good; 29, excellent
Vul: Neither
W
2 2
Set Square No 2100
Dealer: North
S
OF IT
3 8
� PUZZLER MEDIA
12
Now the basic principle is
understood, you can exercise a
little nous. On the same 1?-(P)1?-(2?) auction ? here are two
more hands that were planning to
rebid 1NT: ? K 2
?A 9 3
OF IT
1/
2
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
?A 3
?Q J 2
?5
+9
________
醨h DkD D]
�D gp0 ]
� 0pDpD 4]
轉ND )qDp]
� D ) D )]
蹹QD DND ]
跴D D )PD]
�$ $ D I ]
谅媚牌侨
________
醨D D DkD] Winning Move
郉 $ gr0 ]
遬D DpDQD] White to play. This position is from
Reykjavik 2018.
轉 D G Dp] Rapport-Lenderman,
White could recapture the black bishop on
� D $ D )] f3 but instead he found a dynamic and
蹹 D DbD ] decisive method to continue his attack.
� ) D )PI] What did he play?
�D D D ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
谅媚牌侨 my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
The Next Level
1. Basic opener strategy
(iii) Coping with Intervention
When the opponents intervene,
the basic principle is to make your
planned bid if you are able, otherwise to pass. In general, when making a bid to limit your hand, don?t
be pushed up by the opponents.
Exercise: You opened 1?, lefthand opponent passed, partner
responded 1? and right-hand
opponent made a nuisance of
himself by overcalling 2?. Now
what?
?K 2
?A J 3
?K J 2
x2
50%
OF IT
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
European Championship
Cell Blocks No 3178
Brain Trainer
� PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
5
4
7
3
1
6
9
8
2
3
9
1
5
2
8
7
6
4
4
7
2
1
5
9
6
3
8
8
6
9
7
4
3
2
1
5
1
5
3
6
8
2
4
7
9
1 Edinburgh 2 Mercedes Benz 3 Network 4 Morning or the
part of the day between sunrise and noon 5 Elton John
6 Robert Walpole 7 Dennis Skinner 8 Boris Berezovsky
9 Queensland 10 Brain. They are a type of neuron that
allows many species to understand their position in
space 11 William G Stewart 12 Arnaldur Indridason
13 Tavi Gevinson 14 Tanni Grey-Thompson or Baroness
Grey-Thompson 15 F-16 Fighting Falcon ? originally
developed by General Dynamics, now manufactured by
Lockheed Martin
28.03.18
MindGames
Sudoku
Difficult No 9759
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Fiendish No 9760
1
6 7
7
2
3
6
8
5
4
9
3
6 5
1
9
8
4
Verset
a Well-practised
b An under-tunic
c A short verse
Nefast
a A dissenter
b Emphatically no!
c Wicked
6
2
8
4 2
8
3
7
5
1
4
PUZZLER MEDIA
3
1
9
1 4
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
Dulcian
a A musical instrument
b Honeyed language
c A worn-out horse
Super fiendish No 9761
1
9
2
2 3
4
8 6
4
3
2
5
6
8 5
2
7 4
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today?s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company?s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2196
USAF/GETTY IMAGES
1 The UK?s longest
numbered road, the A1
connects London with
which Scottish city?
11 Sally Geeson, who
played Sally in Bless
This House, married
which producer of that
sitcom in 1976?
2 Featured on the album
Pearl, which 1970 Janis
Joplin song is named
after a German carmaker?
3 In which 1976 film is
Howard Beale (Peter
Finch) billed as ?the mad
prophet of the airwaves??
4 Which period of the
day is also known as
?forenoon??
5 Which English
musician (b 1947) is
the godfather of John
Lennon?s son Sean?
6 Which statesman is
regarded as the de facto
12 Which Icelandic
writer?s Detective
Erlendur series
includes the novels Jar
City, The Draining Lake
and Arctic Chill?
15
first prime minister of
Great Britain?
Titness Park, near Ascot,
on March 23, 2013?
7 Which MP for
Bolsover became the
longest continuously
serving Labour MP in
December 2017?
9 Mount Bartle Frere is
the highest point in
which Australian state?
8 Which 67-year-old
Russian oligarch was
found dead at his home,
10 Discovered in
2005 by Edvard and
May-Britt Moser,
grid cells are found in
which organ?
13 Which American
writer was aged 12 when
she created the fashion
blog Style Rookie?
14 Which former
Paralympian was born
Carys Davina Grey?
15 Entering service in
1979, which US air force
fighter aircraft is pictured?
Answers on page 15
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1057 by Izetti
1
2
3
4
8
7
14
15
11
12
13
17
18
19
21
23
6
9
10
16
5
20
22
24
Across
8 Admonish soldiers wanting to
demonstrate (7)
9 The fellow coming in top is
worth little (5)
10 Saw commercial taking a long
time (5)
11 Honesty of Rob overwhelmed
by compassion (7)
12 Main store could provide this
household item (5,4)
14 Expert touch (3)
16 Juice the old man?s knocked
over (3)
18 People in government
organising means test (9)
21 Something very hard that?s in
a suit (7)
22 Dissolute men ? they get into
scrapes (5)
23 Female achieved success,
collecting arts degree (5)
24 Company introducing various
menus ? what will diners do?
(7)
Yesterday?s solution on page 15
Down
1 A river running down to one
American state and another
(8
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