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The Times Times 2 – 29 November 2017

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November 29 | 2017
Where to bag that
party dress
The three go-to labels
From left: �5, rixo.co.uk;
�5, karenmillen.com;
�0, ghost.co.uk
2
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Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
times2
In the jungle
Amazon?s elves aren?t
singing while they work
? and I?m to blame
Carol Midgley
A
few years ago I
declared that I felt
so pathetic and
guilty whenever
I shopped on
Amazon that I was
going cold turkey on
the whole soiling
business. It was when Amazon had
been ?tax-shamed? and every time my
finger pressed the 1-Click G-spot
(which it did, often) I felt like a
married man in a brothel sadly pulling
his slacks back up post-coitus and
swearing that no fleeting pleasure
merits feeling this grubby.
So how did that work out? Not
well, since you ask. If anything I?d
say my addiction to the evil genius?s
sleazy allure has trebled. In fact
without Amazon there would be no
Christmas at all in our house, just
children?s plaintive faces on December
25 asking: ?But what are we supposed
to do with a Bargain Booze gift
voucher and a bagged salad from
the 24-hour petrol station??
But here comes the shame again.
This week yet another report claimed
that Amazon has a brutal work culture
and that workers at its Tilbury
warehouse are so exhausted that they
fall asleep standing up. This comes after
past reports claimed that some workers
in Scotland slept in tents to save money
and others suffered from panic attacks.
So the Amazon Christmas elves are
not singing while they work, but
hyperventilating into brown paper bags
(allegedly). Grim, isn?t it? And it?s killing
the high street, turning town centres
into strips of bookies and vaping shops.
So that?s it. Not using Amazon again.
Enough. End of.
Er, probably. It just depends whether
I have time to brave the shops and
the car parking and the queues six
times before Christmas, then try not
to laugh manically when I am told by
an assistant: ?Sorry we?re out of stock
on that item, but we can order it in.
It should take two weeks.? Two weeks?
You know that Japan suffered an
earthquake and tsunami, but managed
to get the roads back up and running
within less than half that time? Yet
you?ll tit around for a fortnight over a
RUCKSACK? Nothing takes two weeks
any more. What is wrong with you?
Sick of the
?fairytale?
wedding
Public joy at next year?s
royal wedding has been
deflated by news that
there will be no bank
holiday for the proles.
People took to social
So honestly? I was almost certainly
lying before. I depend on Amazon
because it saves so much time. I try
not to buy books from there to support
high street bookshops, but sometimes
I fail because it makes everything
so easy. In fact, as Phil Collins might
say, it has made itself the easy lover
of the 21st century who?ll get a hold
on you, believe it.
I will try to shop elsewhere online,
but the truth is that, despite people?s
better intentions, Amazon is
disgustingly brilliant at what it does.
What is baffling is why, when its
European revenues were �.5 billion
last year (on which it paid just
� million tax), the company doesn?t
just hire a few more warehouse
staff so they don?t have to work
like pit ponies and it doesn?t keep
getting crap publicity.
Meanwhile, we must accept that
people cannot resist the seductive
wink of a service that delivers exactly
what you want to your doorstep and
quite often free of charge. Like the
aforementioned married man who
just wants a guaranteed delivery of
sex and no messing about, I want
a similar guarantee. Though, just so
we?re clear, it?s a rucksack I was after,
not an hour on a candlewick
bedspread in a cheap B&B.
media to express their
ire, some with amusing
memes, others with
swearing. One wrote,
?If we have to have a
royal f***ing family we
need public holidays or
what?s the point??, a
sentiment you?ll no
doubt see on a tea
towel within the week.
Yet over in Zimbabwe
a public holiday has
just been announced
to mark the birthday
of ? ooh, look ?
Robert Mugabe.
So no bank holiday
for Prince Harry?s
?fairytale? wedding,
but one annually on
February 21 for an
ousted dictator. As
someone who two days
in is sick of hearing
about it, I don?t care. I
just wish it were
already over.
From the cult of Stanley Johnson to the
philosophy of Amir Khan: a show about
humiliating celebrities has become
compulsory viewing. By Andrew Billen
A refund
for going
to Grimsby
It?s hard to pick a side
in the delicious row
between Michael
O?Hare, a Michelinstarred chef from the
Man Behind the
Curtain restaurant in
Leeds, and a customer
who demanded a
refund on his meal,
claiming it was ?bland
and salty? and that he
had ?paid for a Led
Zeppelin concert and
got Wizzard?.
On one hand O?Hare
did write in an email,
?Both my staff and I
think you are a right
c***,? which, I?m going
to stick my neck out
and say probably won?t
win him the Customer
Relations Award 2017.
On the other the diner
had willingly pre-paid
�0 for the meal and
booked a year in
advance, which is
so preposterous it
makes me laugh (the
thing about pre-paying
is that if it?s bad
then you are stuffed).
The chef argued that
just because the
customer didn?t like it
didn?t entitle him to a
refund. ?This is the
same for a movie you
don?t enjoy,? he said.
Ah, well that?s not
entirely true, Mr
O?Hare. A friend of
mine was spotted by the
cinema manager
walking out of the
Sacha Baron Cohen
film Grimsby after just
30 minutes. On being
asked why, my friend
replied that it was utter
cack. ?Yeah, fair
enough, mate,? said the
manager and offered
him a full refund or
tickets to another film.
The difference on that
occasion, however, is
that manager and
customer were in
full agreement.
P
eer pressure, personality
disorder, pride ? there
will be many reasons for
the participants on ITV?s
I?m a Celebrity . . . Get Me
Out of Here! not to cry
out those words and,
in a moment, escape
whatever bush tucker humiliation has
defeated them. Even so, and especially
since there is no deduction from
your fee for playing the get-out-of-jail
card (nor for leaving the show early
so long as you make it through the
first 72 hours), it is surprising that ten
days into series 17 we have heard the
phrase so infrequently.
The nearest explanation that occurs
to me lies in Edwin Brock?s 1977 Song
of the Battery Hen, a poem that begins
with the line: ?We can?t grumble about
accommodation.? The hen explains
that, although she may appear to be
just one of the squawking many, ?I am
the one/ who sounds loudest in my
head?. That is a pretty good definition
of celebrity, even, perhaps, of the
human condition, but Brock was really
making a point about the paradox of
incarceration. He had been inspired,
he once explained, by a battery farmer
who, when he heard protests about
the conditions in which his birds were
kept, replied that every barn had an
open door through which a hen was
free to leave. That, thought Brock,
was the story of his life.
On Saturday, however, one of this
year?s enjungled celebrities did shout,
?I?m a celebrity get me out of here!?
and it was a moment not of liberation,
but of humiliation. The comedian
turned phone-in host Iain Lee had
been tasked with swimming through a
series of underwater chambers teeming
with sea creatures. A big man, and
weak swimmer, he made it only as
far as the first air pocket, a box only
slightly bigger than his head (I mean
this literally, not figuratively). Realising
in panic that he could not breathe, he
shouted for release, forfeiting his team?s
hot food rations. His self-recrimination
was pitiful. He was ?gutted?. He had let
down his sons. He wept. A fellow
contestant described him as
a broken man. On Monday
the ever unforgiving
public deemed it would
again be his turn to
?face his fears?.
Lee is one of
phone-in radio?s
naturals: fluent,
funny and
sometimes
dangerously
inventive,
which is
probably why
he does not
always stay at
stations very
Kezia Dugdale
and Iain Lee
long (he is at present with talkRADIO,
which is owned, I should say, by the
company that also owns The Times).
He suffers, however, from depression,
something he has spoken about
candidly on air and written about on
his website. In one post he described
how ?a wave of bleakness swept up
over my body and there was nothing
I could do. I went down under the
surface and let it sweep over me?.
Although he underwent tests to check
that he was robust enough to become
a jungle VIP, as he retired on Saturday
to his hut and bed, he looked
submerged once again.
Painful though this was to watch ?
reprehensible television even (?For
one man,? a caption thundered, ?is it
too much??) ? at least this incident
told us something about the nature
of the half-celebrity that this almost
entirely B or C-list crop habitually
endure. His roommate, the stand-up
Shappi Khorsandi, recognised it at
Ant McPartlin?s
spell in rehab is
jestingly almost
acknowledged
once as a mix of ?big ego and low
self-esteem?. Lee is good with callers,
good at declaiming, but admitted
that he has no small talk or social
confidence. To sit with ten apparently
confident people was ?just torture?.
Torture is, obviously, part of the
show?s raison d?阾re, although not
usually of this excruciatingly Mike
Leigh variety. Apart from the hope of
glimpses of young female flesh, revenge
is a primary motive for watching. We
are so in thrall to celebrity culture
and the moronic standards it imposes
that once a year we feel justified in
subjecting slebs to humiliation by
maggot, rat and bull penis.
We are no longer, however, dragging
down the gods to our level. Stanley
Johnson, the loveable former
MEP (basically his son
Boris with the venom of
ambition
removed), spoke
a
of
o being in the presence of
the
t greats, but he was
speaking ironically.
The first episode of
each series in which
the celebrities have
to introduce
themselves
because no one
recognises them
is now part of its
charm. The viewer?s
desire these days is
tto exact revenge on
tthe participants for
not being famous
n
eenough, or famous for
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
3
1G T
times2
everyone can hear you scream
REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
I?m a Celebrity ?
let us be your guide
The jungle as metaphor for life
With its implications of the survival of the fittest
such a metaphorical reading would be valid, but
is inoperative in deference to viewers? attention
spans. Rebekah Vardy, the wife of the footballer
Jamie, has, however, said that she has dealt with
?enough snakes? in her life to be able to cope with
real ones. Kezia Dugdale similarly commented
that she was used to ?rats and snakes?, presumably
within Scottish Labour.
Survival wisdom
This too is hard to find, especially within the vicinity
of Amir Khan, who, embarrassed by Iain Lee?s
tears, philosophised that men were not ?meant?
to cry. ?You show weakness and people will walk
all over you,? he said. His companions largely
rejected this formulation.
Impressive ignorance
Stanley Johnson, 77, played a blinder on this count,
neither knowing who Ant and Dec were nor what
a reality TV show was. The actor Jamie Lomas
usefully pointed out that he was on one.
Rebekah Vardy is challenged
to eat an ostrich foot.
Worrying ignorance
Khan asked the resident constitutional expert
Johnson if it is possible to have a female prime
minister. He was se
seemingly unaware that the
country is no
now enduring its second.
The ap
appeal of Ant and Dec
As much
a mystery as the
m
national
devotion to punsters
nati
Mel
Me and Sue, the power of the
show?s
presenters may lie less
sh
in their wit or charisma as in
their
th appeal to earlier forms
of entertainment. If Vic and
Bob
Bo were a postmodern Eric
and
an Ernie, these two are their
premodern incarnation.
pre
too little. The sweet Made in Chelsea
?star? Georgia Toffolo even admitted
she was not good at anything and had
to be reminded that she was good at
being herself.
The other justification for the show
is the revelation of personality, the
true selves that, under pressure, pop
from the protective pods of celebrity.
On this account Lee is massively in
credit. The others remain in our debt,
having shown little of themselves that
is unexpected and having failed eitherr
to fall in lust with one another (oh, forr
2004 again when Peter Andre ?fell? for
or
Katie Price and doomed his life!) or
establish a proper feud, although this
week Johnson and Lee (who does not
?buy into the cult of Stanley?) appear
to be on the brink of a minor one.
Tension, sexual or otherwise, is not
all that is lacking this season. So is
disinhibited truth-telling. Just as
neither Vanessa White (another
product of that reality-TV factory
formerly known as the Saturdays) nor
the boxer Amir Khan acknowledged
the unlikely presence of a camel in the
?Fright House?, the camp this year
thuds with unmentionable elephants.
Johnson will not talk about his
political differences with his son. The
co-host Ant McPartlin?s spell in rehab
Above: Amir Khan. Middle, from left:
Georgia Toffolo and Vardy; Khan
and Stanley Johnson; the presenters
Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly
is jestingly almost acknowledged,
but the apparently parlous state
of his marriage is not. Nor does
Khan discuss the difficulties of his.
Meanwhile, Jack Maynard, the young
?YouTube sensation? sent home for
committing unwise bloggery in his
youth, remains on the programme?s
titles, but is no longer referred to.
As for the strange parliamentary
theme to this year?s proceedings, it isn?t
going anywhere much, despite the
presence
of the foreign secretary?s
p
y?s dad
and
a the former leader of the Scottish
Labour
Party. The election, or rather
L
selection,
of Lee as the camp?s first
se
?prime
minister? can have been
?p
designed
only to ensure his initial
d
unpopularity
(?It feels shit,? he told us).
u
The politics make no wider sense.
Johnson
told Labour?s Kezia Dugdale
J
that
th he would enjoy talking politics
with
w her, but even he will have
known
there was no likelihood
k
of
o such a dialogue being aired.
I?m
I? a Celebrity may be set among
exquisite
fauna and flora, but it is
e
rigorously
uninformative. Johnson?s
ri
three-sentence
explanation of
th
Darwinism, met with raptured awe
by Toffolo, was as near to David
Attenborough as we were going to get.
Yet who are we to question I?m a
Celebrity?s appeal as it grabs 40 per
cent audience shares and trundles all
over Howards End, coming near on
its first outing to matching even Blue
Planet II? Once a year we revert to the
instincts that once led dads on Tiswas
to volunteer to enter cages and be
covered with baked beans, except
nowadays it is maggots. The exit door
from this national obsession remains
open, yet we remain within, cackling
our schadenfreude and disapprobation.
Protestations
of normality
Protes
These ar
are generally unnecessary
on a progra
programme that is dominated
by barely recog
recognisable folk for whom the
adjective normal is all too easily applied. Viewers
enjoyed, however, Vardy?s protestation that she
shopped in Next and worked so that she could pay
her children?s private school fees.
Being nice is the best defence
Favourite for outright winner, and 50/1 against for
first eviction, Georgia Toffolo (?I am like a jungle
Barbie?) has proved tirelessly enthusiastic and
positive, declaring the camp food ?yummy?. She was
even spotted laughing at one of Ant and Dec?s jokes.
Survival of the fittest
Although ruled out of most trials for health reasons,
Johnson made short work on Sunday night of eating
witchetty grubs, first biting off their heads and then
demolishing their little bodies in two chews. He will
have eaten worse at Sherborne.
Greatest failure to understand the format
Khan (again), having announced his greatest fear
is spiders, found himself in a room full of them.
?I don?t know why you are doing this,? he protested.
?Because you are afraid of spiders,? Ant replied.
Truest words spoken in jest
Perhaps these uttered by the once distraught and
now over-compensating Lee, who on Sunday?s live
segment joshed: ?They are guns and they are
keeping us here against our will.?
I?m a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here!
continues tonight on ITV at 9pm
4
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Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
fashion
This frock already feels
like a dear friend
In the shop it looked gorgeous but
impractical, yet this dress has proved a
wear-it-anywhere hit, says Anna Murphyy
B
et you haven?t seen a
dress quite like this
before. Unless you have
been hanging out with
me over the past three
months, that is. I have
been wearing non-stop
one of Eponine?s
glorious mash-ups of African print
cotton, vintage Thai tribal embroidery
and 1950s styling.
I didn?t expect to when I fell in
love with it on the website of the
small London operation (�5,
eponinelondon.com). To be honest
I thought this was going to be a oncein-a-blue-moon affair ? fabulous but
not that practical ? but I cannot seem
to get enough of it, and neither can
anyone else who has seen me in it.
I can?t go out of the front door in it
without garnering compliments. And
they are not compliments of the
slightly bored ?that?s a nice dress?
variety. People burst into a smile at
seeing me in my wonderfully
incongruous, incongruously
wonderful garb. Sometimes they
laugh, they actually laugh in ? I
promise ? a good way. Or they
exclaim, ?Oooooo!? Or they scuttle
after me to ask where it is from. Even
during the fashion shows, where the
pros think they have seen everything,
and usually have, it got similarly
enthusiastic responses.
Eponine is the creation of the
Dutch-born, London-based 56-yearold Jet Shenkman. She worked for
years as a stylist to private clients, and
her experience taught her that it?s hard
to find a more flattering silhouette for
a woman than those from the middle
decades of the 20th century. It?s so
true. Talk to anyone whose living is to
make women look their best ? by
which I mean stylists who actually
dress women, rather than designers,
many of whose priorities are all too
often, and peculiarly, rather different
? and these are the shapes they talk
about. (See Rebecca Corbin-Murray,
right.) Shenkman also learnt from
experience that ?true individuality,
specialness, was hard to find?.
Cue Eponine.
She offers a bespoke service for her
Jackie O-style pieces ? a couple of
which have been worn by the Duchess
of Cambridge ? but for me it?s the
dresses that use tribal detailing or are
made from vintage Japanese kimonos
(which cost, wait for it, �100) that are
the real standouts. Every
piece is unique, every
piece is beautifully
made. Individuality and
specialness incarnate.
Should you be lucky
enough to be able to
invest in one, I hereby
pledge that it will quickly
feel like a dear friend. I know mine is
going to see me through the Christmas
party season beautifully ? not just
this year but a decade from now. And
then there?s the royal wedding next
spring, because it is obviously only a
matter of time before the invitation
hits my doormat.
Eponine?s African dress
and, below, Le Monde?s
Beryl velvet slippers
It?s hard
to find
a more
flattering
silhouette
24-hour slippers
Another boutique London label is
Le Monde Beryl, founded by friends
and former colleagues Lily Atherton
Hanbury and Katya Shyfrin, who met
when they worked in the jewellery
department of the auction house
Phillips. How to find a pair of shoes
practical enough to get one through
the day and glamorous enough to get
one through the evening was one of
the questions over which they bonded.
They remembered friulanas, the
traditional Venetian velvet gondolier
slippers that have long been in the
arsenal of any self-respecting
fashionista globetrotter. (She would
typically pick up a pair or three
en route to a bellini at Harry?s Bar.
It?s a tough life.)
The original friulanas were made
from scraps of felt attached to soles
made of old bicycle tyres to stop the
gondolier from losing his grip and
sliding into the canal. Le Monde
Beryl reinvented them in suitably
jewel-hued velvets and satins with
sleek leather soles. I particularly
love the claret velvet slippers and
the blush satin slides (�5 and �5
respectively, matchesfashion.com).
No sign of any dodgy old rubber,
needless to say. Though that could be
a good design tweak for the trip home
after the Christmas party.
Kale smoothies for hair
Two additions to my haircare arsenal
are ? wait for it ? Color Wow
Cocktail Bionic Tonics. A Kale
Cocktail is not something I would ever
drink ? make mine a French 75 ?
but as a hair product it?s a miracle
worker (�, colorwowhair.com).
It?s designed to strengthen hair with
protein-building amino acids that help
to reinforce internal bonds. No idea if
it has done that. But I do know that
my hair looks smoother. And the
Coconut Cocktail ? I?d be much more
likely to drink something by that name
? has added moisture and gloss.
For extra volume use the Carb
Cocktail, the final product in this
veritable minibar of hair products.
Volume. That?s one thing I don?t
need. Behold, the first carb
that doesn?t interest
me in the slightest.
Instagram:
@annagmurphy
@
The British
stylist who is
taking over
the red carpet
Her clients may include the young and
beautiful, but her advice to everyone
is to wear Spanx, says Anna Murphy
S
o there you are worrying
about what to wear for
party season. Hmpf!
Imagine this: ?You have to
go out there in front of a
lot of photographers, and
all of them are screaming
your name, and some of
them are being really rude. And you
have to not look like a rabbit in the
headlights. You have to sell yourself,
sell the dress, sell the image.?
Sigh. It?s not easy being a film star,
but the celebrity stylist Rebecca
Corbin-Murray, a rare Brit among the
American-dominated pack, is there to
ease the red-carpet passage of many a
21st-century screen siren, especially
the British ones. Her roster includes
Emma Watson, Lily James and Sophie
Turner of Game of Thrones.
?We practise all of it beforehand,?
Corbin-Murray says. ?Is my face doing
weird things? How should I be
standing? Sophie jokingly calls what
we do ?the school for stars that don?t
stand good?. My job is to make sure my
clients go out there knowing they are
confident, strong women. Then,
?Boom!? The picture is taken, and they
can go and have a glass of wine.?
Corbin-Murray, 35, has agreed to
meet me in a caf� in Notting Hill, west
London. I want to find out what she
can tell me, us ? real women facing
the sartorial Grand National that is
the festive season ? about how to
look our best when it?s our moment in
the spotlight, such as it is. And come
to think of it, some tips for the rest of
the year might come in handy too.
I know she is pretty, blonde and
slim. How will I recognise her in a
postcode where 99 per cent of women
are similar? By her utterly vast,
extremely knackered-looking suitcase.
There?s no travelling light when you
are in the business of making beautiful
women look even more so.
Gorgeous as her clients are, they too
have their insecurities, Corbin-Murray
insists, and because they are not
models their bodies aren?t necessarily
the perfect size. ?The girls I work with
range from a size 6 to a 14.? That said,
their bodily concerns seem rather
small-fry. ?Sometimes it?s the weirdest
part of their body. They say, ?I?ve got
this horrible blah-blah?, and you think,
?What are they even talking about??
The one that comes up all the time is
arm vagina.? Gosh. Apparently this is
the crease where the arm meets the
torso. Who knew? Will the rest of us
have to start worrying about that too?
I quickly get the sense that one of
the joys of having Corbin-Murray at
your back is that you can stop fretting
about pretty much anything to do with
your appearance. She?s there to do that
for you. She is part-stylist, part-mum,
part-cheerleader, part-finishing-school
mistress, all delivered in an
intoxicating cloud of new-best-friend
warmth. I would sign her up on the
spot as my style Passepartout if only
I had a partout glamorous enough for
her to facilitate me passing.
Back to the Christmas party. What
do the less stratospheric members of
womankind need in our specialoccasion arsenal? Spanx, Spanx and
more Spanx. ?I buy everyone a range
of pieces. It?s not about being smaller.
It makes for better lines, which makes
a dress look so much better.?
Your bra is important too. ?I often
see a beautiful woman in a beautiful
dress and she is wearing the wrong
bra, and then her boobs come down to
here.? She gestures, grimacing, to a
point where no boob should ever be.
Go for a professional fitting, she says.
Regularly. (I think Chantelle?s Festivit�
is hard to beat, �, selfridges.com.)
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
5
1G T
fashion
GETTY IMAGES; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
Lily James
Add a belt
to emphasise
the waist
What else? ?Never wear heels you
can?t walk in.? (Or, I would add, dance
in.) ?Say no to cutesy, girlie things over
the age of 20.? Be sceptical about
sizing. ?Vanity sizing?, as she calls it,
means that even she, sylph that she is,
ranges across four sizes depending on
brand and cut. Better ? always ? to
buy big and alter to fit. One of the
most important things you can do, she
says, is find a good tailor. ?If you find
something that is almost right and
you love it, alter it. Make it work for
your shape.?
And don?t be afraid to revisit things
already in your wardrobe. ?Put on that
black dress, have a look in the mirror
and be really honest with yourself. Has
it been a good or a bad year? We all
fluctuate, whatever our size. Take that
dress to your tailor. Shorten the
sleeves, lower the hemline. Do
something. Switch it up. You don?t
have to throw it away just because you
think it doesn?t look modern.?
Modern is one thing, but beware of
trends. ?I hate them,? exclaims
Corbin-Murray, a rare cloud obscuring
her sunny demeanour. ?We?ve been
locked in this game of trends for the
longest time. More, more, more. Buy,
buy, buy. It?s just got so out of control.
A lot of people come to me with very
little idea of what they like, what suits
them. We?re thrown trends all the time
and mostly people just see what sticks
Sophie Turner
A reminder of the
power of a great
red lipstick
and then they
have these bits and pieces
and don?t know who they
are, what their style is.?
Then there are those often
misplaced notions that they have
picked up from someone else. ?Often
there are things people tell me they
don?t like, and in the end they do like
them. It might be something their
mum said: ?Orange isn?t your colour?;
?You should never wear velvet?; ?That
makes you look fat?. Something stupid
that sticks in your head, and from then
on you are never going to wear it. A
lot of times I have something on a rail,
and people go, ?Oh God no!? Then they
put it on and they are like, ?Oh! That?s
quite nice actually.? ?
Corbin-Murray is fresh from a
wardrobe clear-out with one of her
clients. ?I got rid of two thirds of her
wardrobe. We sorted things to be
resold, things for charity shops, things
she wanted to give to people. She told
me afterwards, ?It is like a weight has
lifted off me.? Once you declutter it
helps define who you are on a daily
basis. It makes life so much easier.?
We need to make our wardrobes
smaller, and better, says CorbinMurray, who is today wearing the
perfect navy oversize knit (four years
old, C閘ine ? ?It could do with a lint
roll but otherwise it?s in great shape?),
the perfect black straight-leg jeans
(one year old, from the cult
New York brand Khaite) and
the perfect luxe bovver
boots (bashed about, can?t
remember how old, Saint
Laurent).
?We should look for
consistency rather than
follow this idea [of] ?I need to
make myself feel better, and
pink is in, so I suddenly need
to buy pink.? We need to stop
going for that quick fix. Figure
out what suits your body, what?s
?your? silhouette, then get rid of
everything else.?
Wise words, but how to
work out what suits you? If it
were that easy, well, wouldn?t
we all have done it years
ago? Corbin-Murray asks
her clients to identify
women in the public eye
whose style they like and
who have a similar body
shape. ?If you have an
hourglass figure, for
example, there is someone
like Brigitte Bardot,
who has a classic
style. It?s about
high-waisted straightleg trousers which
aren?t super-tight.
Don?t settle for
anything less.?
So even women with a body like
Bardot?s struggle? What hope for the
rest of us? And what hope, more
Jenna Coleman
specifically, for those of us with the
Nipped-in waist.
rather less matinee-idol-appropriate
The right length.
pear shape? ?For me it?s about
rediscovering your waist. Bringing
Sleeves. The
everything in at the waist flatters most
perfect dress
people. And also think about the
length of what you are wearing. The
narrowest point of your leg is between
your ankle and your mid-calf. If you
have a skirt or dress that cuts you off
there, and that also pulls you in at the
waist, it is slimming and elongating.?
I couldn?t agree more on length, I
tell her, but ? for reasons I have long
found baffling ? it?s so difficult to
track down clothes like this in the
shops. She name-checks the British
brands Erdem and Emilia Wickstead,
both great, but which require, alas, the
budget of a film star. What about at a
lower price point? ?I don?t know why
the high street has been so slow to
catch on. Is it because it requires more
fabric? I have no idea. It is such a
flattering length.? LK Bennett is, to my
mind, the only reliable high-street
brand for delivering it.
It?s the same rule of thumb, or
rather ankle, for trousers. ?I always
favour a high-waisted trouser that
hits your calf in the same place and
is wide, but not too wide, in the leg.?
Recommendations? Another high-end
boutique British brand. ?Isa Arfen
always does an amazing highwaisted cropped trouser.? Again,
more affordably, Jigsaw and
Toast have some good options.
But Corbin-Murray has got
lots to say on the subject of
affordability, having worked
with Watson this year on an
eco-friendly red-carpet
wardrobe for the Beauty and the
Beast promotional tour. ?It was
so eye-opening about the
industry. There are so many
abuses. Like the fact that
250,000 cotton farmers in India
have committed suicide since
1995. I find it so annoying when
people say � is too much to
pay for a T-shirt from an eco
brand like Mainline Basics,
which is sustainable with a
Emma Watson
transparent supply chain.
Why is that too expensive?
Fabulous and
Someone had to buy the
sustainably
seeds, grow the seeds. This
sourced ? dress
is a T-shirt that is going to
by Kitx
last, that is not going to fall
apart after three washes.?
The stylist namechecks
reve-en-vert.com and maison-demode.com as two websites that are
good for sustainable fashion. ?We
need to buy things we intend to keep
and then to look after them.? Which
means we also need to get serious
about how best to care for our
clothes: it?s rare to meet a fashion
professional who appears as excited
about de-bobbling her jumper as
about the jumper itself.
We also need to learn that God is in
the details. According to CorbinMurray, party season can be pulled off
magnificently with the help of just a
couple of flourishes. ?Get a good belt.
Even better: one wide, one thin. You
can change a look instantly.? And a
great red lipstick. ?It pulls you
together, gives you a bit of gloss.
There?s the right one out there for
everyone. You just need to find it.?
(I am a big fan of the reds by Rodin,
�, net-a-porter.com.)
Let the games begin.
Instagram: @timesfashiondesk
6
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Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
fashion
X �5 and
�0, both
ghost.co.uk
W �5 (available
December 11),
�5 (available
from Friday),
�5 (available
December 11),
rixo.co.uk
How to stand out at this year?s
From high
glamour to
boho chic:
Hattie
Crisell
picks out
the three
best shops
A
t this twinkly time
of the year, when all
and sundry are
looking for
something party-ish
to wear, it pays to
shop outside your
usual brands and
explore a less-travelled path. I?ve
identified three that may help you to
do this: two are labels that I suspect a
lot of us have forgotten or abandoned,
and the third is one that you may not
have discovered. All are geared up
with a strong range of partywear, so go
forth and try something new (and
don?t feel obliged to tell anyone where
you found it).
The glamorous one
Have you been into Karen Millen
recently? For a long time I associated
it with a world not very close to
mine: Apprentice candidates in grey
dresses by day, bandage frocks by
night. It was the upmarket Jane
Norman, polished in a hard way and,
to be frank, a bit naff.
But a few years ago, under the
chief creative officer Gemma
Metheringham ? who is now at the
helm of Next?s Label/Mix ? Karen
Millen went through a bit of a
reinvention. Out went some of the
elastane and in came some looser
shapes and more modern styling.
Now we are in a third wave. Tracey
Stainer, previously at LK Bennett,
replaced Metheringham in March,
and under her new order the brand
has plans to push back to the glitzy
forefront of the high street.
I knew that Karen Millen was glitzy,
of course. What I didn?t know was that
the clothes are also rather beautifully
made. I was recently invited to a
spectacularly glam night out in Paris,
for which I wore the brand?s black lace
maxidress (�0). It is floor-length and
embroidered with flowers, its open
back tied only with a ribbon. I had a
minor panic attack when I realised
that this gown ? the only thing I had
packed ? would force me to go
braless for the first time in 20 years. I
was enormously relieved to find
cleverly supportive construction
hidden inside. I was also impressed by
the lovely, substantial lace.
A price of �0 might be more than
you?d expect to pay for a dress on the
high street, but it?s not so outrageous
when you consider that this one went
through five rounds of fittings to get
the cut right and was embroidered by
hand, which (I?m reliably informed)
took 22 hours. That?s not what I
expect from the high street either.
Also in the brand?s partywear line
this season are a mini version of my
dress (�5), a wraparound black
jumpsuit (�5) and a midnight-blue
velvet trouser suit, which is available
from tomorrow. The suit has a nippedin, one-button jacket with padded,
sharp shoulders (�5) and
high-waisted trousers that flare out
flatteringly from the knee (�0), and
the fabric is reassuringly weighty. This
is a label worth revisiting.
karenmillen.com
The bohemian one
I spent the Nineties in a hideous
brown school uniform and laddered
tights, so wasn?t part of the original
wave of Ghost devotees. When I ask a
friend for her recollections, she
impresses on me the significance of
the brand at that time. ?Ghost was a
huge deal when I came to London in
the mid-1990s,? she says. ?I was 24
and the women I was working with,
who were about ten years older than
me, were all Ghost obsessives.
I remember excited conversations in
the office about upcoming Ghost sales.
It was the only label that really got a
certain sort of brainy, arty career
woman going back then.?
Nowadays brainy, arty career
women are very much my concern ?
and Ghost is back on their agenda. It
was bought out of administration in
2008 and for a long time was reduced
mainly to bridalwear, but three years
ago it acquired its creative director,
Sameera Azeem. It is increasing its
ready-to-wear line every season and
selling more and more through its
website (for the year to date online
sales have increased by 95 per cent
compared with 2014). Three years ago
the average age of the customer was
50; today it?s between 30 and 35.
The aesthetic is still recognisably
Ghost, and part of its new success
might be down to its look coming
back into vogue: soft, bohemian and
ever-so-slightly gothic frocks, cr阷es,
satins and velvets, gathered sleeves
and delicate buttons. My pick is the
Riley dress (�5) in teal silk-velvet
with a V-neck and a sash belt. The
Delphine shirt dress (�0) in
poppy-print grey satin with a Peter
Pan collar is unlike anything else that
I?ve spotted on the high street and
could be triumphantly paired with
tomato-red lipstick.
If you have a slightly more generous
budget, turn to Ghost?s dye-to-order
service and choose from dozens of
floor-length gowns in a choice of 13
colours. They cost from �5 to �5,
which is not unreasonable for
something you can wear with nearcertainty that you won?t meet anyone
else with the same one.
ghost.co.uk
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
7
1G T
fashion
7 of the best
party sandals
�5,
lkbennett.com
Tabitha Simmons, �5,
matchesfashion.com
W Jacket, �5,
trousers, �0,
dresses �0
and �0.
Right: belted
jacket, �5,
and trousers,
�0. all from
karenmillen.com
�, topshop.com
�, asos.com
Christmas bash
The fashionable one
If print and colour get you excited,
join the industry insiders and shop at
Rixo, a label established in 2015 by two
alumnae of the London College of
Fashion. Two years in business isn?t
enough for most clothing labels to
make a splash, yet I already see a bit of
Rixo at every fashion event I attend.
Still, the pieces aren?t mass-produced
or over-exposed; I am often asked
where I found my Alice black
mididress, which is embroidered with
leaves and a full moon (�5). This is a
label that is still making its way by
word of mouth, ie a good bet for those
who wish to look unique.
Rixo?s designers, Henrietta Rix and
Orlagh McCloskey, have a strong,
recognisable aesthetic: pussy-bow
blouses, deep V-necks and midiskirts
with slits up to the thigh. Most of the
collection is printed. The founders
paint the designs by hand in their
London studio before digitally
transferring them on to silk. The best
include the Moonlit Sky print (stars,
moons and clouds on black, red or
navy) and the Cherry Blossom print in
bright, clashing colours. Rixo has a
pop-up store in Covent Garden,
London, until mid-December, but the
brand is stocked at numerous
boutiques around the world and
online; see its website for details.
The silk, leopard-print Sienna coat
(�0) can be buttoned-up and worn
as a dress, while a delivery of new
products later this week will include a
turquoise, high-necked dress with an
outer space print (�5). I?m waiting
for the sharp-shouldered black dress
embroidered with kitsch images of
planets (�5, available from
December 11). Wearing either of
these, you?ll look like a terribly
chic Judy Jetson. And who
else at a Christmas party
in 2017 is likely to
be able to say
the same?
rixo.co.uk
Miu Miu, �0,
brownsfashion.com
�9,
kurtgeiger.com
�,
riverisland.com
8
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Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
arts
Why we all want an
appointment with
the TV doctors
A medical drama
with an autistic
hero is the latest
hospital show to
set pulses racing,
says James Jackson
T
he hottest drama on
American TV is not
Stranger Things, The
Crown or The Walking
Dead. It?s not even
Game of Thrones.
It?s a warm-hearted
hospital drama
designed to prick your tear ducts in the
nicest way possible. The Good Doctor,
which started last month on ABC (and
on Sky Living here), is proof that when
it comes to populist drama, audiences
can?t get enough trolleys crashing
through double-doors, defibrillators
yanked into action and attractive
doctors in scrubs falling for each other.
The Good Doctor is everything you
would expect from a US medical
drama, with one crucial USP ? its
titular hero, the paediatrician Shaun
Murphy (played by Britain?s Freddie
Highmore), is an autistic savant with
the manner of a shy 12-year-old. You
may think such a prospect would
strike terror into any parent about to
put their child?s life in his hands, but
Murphy has miraculous diagnostic
abilities. Naturally his unorthodox
manner rubs his superiors up the
wrong way, although luckily he has a
mentor (played by The West Wing?s
Richard Schiff) to defend him. ?He?s
not Rain Man, he?s high-functioning!?
he barks to the doubtful managers.
Yes, it is very much from the
genre of big statements and even
bigger emotions, but when television
drama seems to be moving into
darker areas, this is what viewers
want (in America, at least). This
hero couldn?t be sweeter and about
17 million American viewers have
made it the most-watched US show,
beating The Big Bang Theory.
This shouldn?t come as a
surprise. First, it?s an eternal
truth of TV that we love medical
shows. Second, it?s from David
Shore (although adapted from
a South Korean series), a
man you could call the king
of the medical drama. His
previous hit was the global
phenomenon House, in which
h
Hugh Laurie would save
the day each week in
contemptuous fashion.
Speaking from Los Angeles,
Shore sums up the reason for
the success of medical dramas:
?They have got inherent stakes.
There?s no better place to explore
a character, no better time to
explore a character than in the
midst of a crisis. And hospitals
have crises all the time. There?s also
nothing more fundamentally heroic
than saving a life.?
Those high stakes can encompass
a range of dilemmas, personal and
medical, which can be tailored to
different styles within the genre.
Dr Gregory House was effectively
Sherlock Holmes with a stethoscope;
the more insufferable he became the
more likeable he got. The soapy
aspects within such US hits as Grey?s
Anatomy (incurably romantic) or ER
(frantic, but also given to romance
whenever George Clooney?s Doug
Ross would waggle his head at Nurse
Carol Hathaway) are generally
reflected in the more kitchen-sink
British long-runners Casualty and
Holby City. Other British medical
shows have taken a bleaker approach.
This was most notable in three Jed
Mercurio dramas: the 1990s series
Cardiac Arrest about exhausted junior
doctors, the medical-negligence drama
Bodies and the thriller Critical.
If most of our small-screen doctors
are hamstrung by hubris, The Good
Doctor?s hero is hampered by humility.
Which perhaps gets to a deeper reason
for the show?s success. When the
world is increasingly defined by
uncertainty and cynicism, the
audience are responding to its
positivity and innocence. Shore says:
?There?s real emotion here that comes
Marcus Wareing?s
festive feast
Transform your cooking with a twist on traditional dishes
including slow-cooked pork belly with pear and nutmeg,
and fig and ginger cheesecake.
Get his recipes in your copy of The Times this Saturday.
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
9
1G T
GETTY IMAGES; SKY ATLANTIC/HBO; ABC
arts
The best and worst TV hospitals
Dr Lisa Sanders gives her expert diagnosis
E
from a guy who?s struggling and
succeeding. And, weirdly, I think we
can all relate to that. He?s also asking
us questions that are fundamental ?
the little masks we put on in all sorts
of situations. He doesn?t put them on.
He?s just honest. We?re not.?
Try telling that to the sniffy critics.
As is so often the case with populist
drama, audiences have voted (with
backsides on sofas) in the face of some
unkind reviews. But as Shore suggests:
?The reason that we?re touching such
a chord with the audience is the same
reason why some of our reviews have
not been so glowing. Even though we
have death, it?s not a dark show. That
makes us not ?cool? and therefore
apparently cutting edge. But we are
doing something new and interesting.?
The autism angle is certainly new,
but it?s also successful because for all
Murphy?s lack of doctor-patient
communication skills, he always wins
the day. Viewers want to be reassured
that doctors are the gods that we can
rely on in a crisis. Any medical drama
in which the medics fatally bodge their
operations in upsettingly gory fashion
(Cardiac Arrest, Bodies, Critical,
Monroe) haven?t, for all their other
virtues, lasted long. Grey?s Anatomy, on
the other hand, is into its 14th season.
Or perhaps people simply enjoy
having their heartstrings pulled. Shore
agrees. ?I?m reacting to it in the same
way that so many other people are. It?s
making me cry, in the best possible
way.? One thing?s for sure, The Good
Doctor?s writers will need a thick
textbook of obscure, baffling
conditions for our hero to crack.
Hugh
Laurie,
centre,
in House.
Left:
Freddie
Highmore
in The
Good
Doctor
The Good
Doctor,
Sky
Living,
Fridays,
9pm
verybody
dy loves
a hospital
ital
drama.
But
how
realistic are
these
hospitals?
I?m a doctor,
an associate
professor of
internal
medicine at
Yale. I?m also
the inspiration for
the series House,
e,
which was based
d on
the column I write
rite for
The New York Times
Magazine.
The world that these
TV patients come from
is far more dangerous
than ours here in
Realityville. All the TV
doctors seem to kill far
too many patients: the
mortality rate on TV is
nine times higher than it
is in life (18 per cent
versus 2 per cent).
And everybody in
these shows is having so
much more sex than I
was as a resident. There
is this great literary
trope that being exposed
to death makes you
want to grasp life ? but
seeing people dead and
dying and cut up and
bloody did not do it for
me or anyone I know.
ER (NBC/Channel 4,
1994-2009)
Hospital Cook County
General Hospital in
Chicago, Illinois
Lead doctor Doug Ross,
an ER paediatrician
Vital signs Good. This is
the only show that
captures the barelyheld-together chaos that
is an emergency room. It
also captures how many
non-emergency things
enter an ER ? and the
doctor?s attitude to that.
Emergency doctors love
emergencies ? and hate
the hangnails.
Pulse rate Racing.
Everyone looks
astonishingly good.
Diagnosis
Di
i Long-term
L
drink and drug misuse
has led to some systemic
problems. In the first
series Ross (George
Clooney) turns up
drunk, is hooked up to
an IV and allowed to
sleep it off. Then a
building falls down and
he?s suddenly fine.
Doctors? substance
abuse is notoriously
high, but that would
never happen. Ever.
Star rating {{{{(
The doctors might be
drunk, but at least they
are dishy.
Grey?s Anatomy
(ABC/Sky, 2005-)
Hospital Seattle Grace
Hospital, Seattle,
Washington
Lead doctor Meredith
Grey, a surgical resident
Vital signs Worrying.
Everyone is having too
much sex to bother
with the patients.
Pulse rate So high
this hospital almost
has tachycardia.
Everyone
here
Ev
needs
to go and
n
have
a lie down.
h
Not
N in that way.
Diagnosis
D
Unhealthy
level
U
of promiscuity.
Grey (Ellen
Gr
Pompeo)
Pom
accidentally
picks
accid
up her supervising
surgeon in a bar, then
relationship
starts a re
with him.
Star rating
S
i None ?
triple-X-rated instead.
Good luck getting
anyone to pay attention
to your medical problem.
Casualty (BBC One,
1986-)
Hospital Holby City
Hospital, in the
fictional Holby,
southwest England
Lead medic Nurse
Charlie Fairhead
Vital signs Hard to
tell. The earnest
physicians and nurses
are all too caught up in
n
their private lives to
consider much in the
way of medicine. The
emptiest casualty ward
I have seen.
Pulse rate High, but
not worryingly so.
Diagnosis Hard to
diagnose, given there are
few patients in sight.
Star rating {{{((
Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo in Grey?s Anatomy.
Top: George Clooney in ER. Above right: The Knick
The Good Doctor
(ABC/Sky, 2017-)
Hospital The San Jose
St Bonaventure
Hospital, California
Lead doctor Shaun
Murphy, a new
graduate with autism
and so-called savant
syndrome
Vital signs Good.
Everyone in this hospital
cares. A bit too much.
The hierarchy tend to
make heartfelt speeches
about what being a
doctor is all about. In life
that never happens.
Vital signs Terrible.
Blood everywhere. True,
you are addressing an
emerging catastrophe in
obs and gynae surgery
and it can be very
bloody there. Probably
even this bloody. That is,
after all, why surgeons
wear wellingtons.
Pulse rate Low. Too
busy mopping up the
blood.
Diagnosis The doctors
don?t work well. The lifts
don?t work at all. The
data entry doesn?t work
? one woman almost
has a hysterectomy
because of a typing
error. Even the x-ray
light boxes don?t work.
Multiple organ failure
imminent.
Star rating {((((
The patients are
dropping
like flies. Make
drop
sure your last will and
testament
is in order
tes
before
checking in.
be
Pulse rate Low. Not
much passion here.
Diagnosis The doctors
here are impressive.
Ridiculously so.
Murphy, whose autism
enables him to see
things others cannot, is
able to realise that there
is a piece of glass stuck
in a patient?s body less
with the aid of an x-ray
than some sort of
second sight.
Star rating {{{{(
Murphy might be
unusual, but he?s trying.
The Knick
T
(Cinemax/Sky,
(
2014-2017)
2
Hospital
The
Ho
Knickerbocker
Kn
Hospital,
in New York
Hosp
City, in the year 1900
Lead doctors John
Thackery and Jules
Thac
Michael Christiansen
Vital signs This is set
post-anaesthesia and
pre-antisepsis. Basically
the most dangerous time
you could have gone to
hospital in history.
Pulse rate High, from
pure fear.
Diagnosis Thackery,
and apparently just
about everyone else
medicate their postsurgical nights with
opium and their
days with cocaine.
Surgery here is nasty,
brutish and thankfully
short. Your life, if you
end up on the
operating table, is not
much longer.
Star rating {((((
Try not to get sick. If
you do get sick, try not
to go to this hospital.
If they aren?t too busy
talking about their
emotions, these guys
will get you the care
you need.
Bodies (BBC Three/
BBC Two, 2004-2006)
Hospital South Central
Infirmary, somewhere
in the UK
Lead doctor Rob Lake,
an obstetrics and
gynaecology registrar
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1G T
Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
television & radio
Meet Jess, the robot who will fix your marriage
James
Jackson
TV review
The Robot Will
See You Now
Channel 4
{{{((
How to Spend It Well
at Christmas
ITV
{{(((
H
omer Simpson once
suggested: ?Trusting every
aspect of our lives to a giant
computer was the smartest
thing we ever did.? Those
who go with Homer?s philosophy on
life will be delighted by the prospect of
Jess, the AI star of last night?s The
Robot Will See You Now. This small,
white R2-D2 will one day sit in your
living room, watching you, knowing
everything about you and, for all your
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
A Picture Held
Us Captive
Radio 4, 11am
We are piling up cash for a
rainy day. We run a tight
fiscal ship. We try to
balance the budget . . . Have
you spotted the link
between those phrases?
They are, of course, all
metaphors ? but so
familiar we barely notice
them. So what, you might
say. Well, so a lot, says Zia
Haider Rahman, a novelist,
in this breathtakingly clever
programme. He argues that
metaphors, because of the
way in which they seem so
true, but are so false, exert
a kind of power over us;
over truth itself.
Science Stories
Radio 4, 9pm
In the light of the moon,
a little egg lay on a leaf . . .
There can be few people
above the age of three who
don?t know how that story
of the hungry caterpillar
ends: in a beautiful
butterfly. But, as Naomi
Alderman explains in this
charming programme, it
wasn?t always so obvious.
Before metamorphosis was
understood people thought
that caterpillars came from
cabbages and frogs from
raindrops. Then in the 16th
century, along came the
awesome Maria Merian . . .
intimate problems, counselling you in
mercilessly blunt fashion.
In other words she is possibly the
most sinister robot since Hal in 2001:
A Space Odyssey. Unlike Homer, you
may not want your bank details
known to a talkative robot, or your
most mortifying secrets pulled out in
front of the family. Take Hayley, one
of the programme?s guinea pigs testing
out this AI counsellor. In front of
Hayley, her husband and her kids
on the sofa, Jess blinked cutely and
curtly revealed that Hayley weighs
21 stone and spends �500 a year on
takeaways. ?What have you done to
lose weight?? Jess persisted. ?You are
likely to die ten years earlier than
average.? Perhaps this wasn?t the droid
Hayley was looking for.
You could, of course, look at Jess?s
intervention as starting an awkward
but essential conversation for Hayley?s
family. Yet having a robot on hand to
conduct lie-detector tests at any
moment ? as we saw when Jess
sorted a tiff between a girl and her
gay best pal whom she suspected of
getting it on with her ex ? seems the
thin end of the wedge for a domestic
life based on total paranoia.
I wondered what a Relate counsellor
would make of Jess who, by reacting
to questions with algorithmically
related questions, suggests that their
profession mostly boils down to
saying, ?Tell me more?, and, ?How
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.33am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show 10.00
Clara Amfo 12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Scott
Mills 4.00 Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00
Greg James 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 The 8th
11.00 Huw Stephens 1.00am Benji B 3.00
BBC Radio 1 and 1Xtra?s Stories: Music by
Numbers: Tinie Tempah 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00
Simon Mayo 7.00 The Folk Show with Mark
Radcliffe 8.00 Jo Whiley 10.00 Mark
Kermode?s Celluloid Jukebox 11.00 Marcus
Mumford (r) 12.00 Pick of the Pops (r)
2.00am Radio 2 Playlists: Country Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
9.00 Essential Classics
Featuring Rick Stein?s cultural inspirations
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Koechlin (1867-1950)
The artist?s compositions for the Hollywood
starlet Lilian Harvey. Koechlin (Sur les ?ots
lointains ? symphonic poem after a song by
Catherine Urner, Op 130; Clara Bow et la
joyeuse Californie ? The Seven Stars
Symphony, Op 132; Sept chansons pour
Gladys, Op 151; Love Told Me; You Thought
to Hold Him; Caught in the Trap; The Naiad;
The Cyclone; The Dove; Fate; Le m閐itation
de Purun-Bhagat, Op 159; Le voyage
chim閞ique, Op 139; and Skating-Smiling,
Op 149 ? L?album de Lilian) (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Music from the Richard Strauss Festival in
Garmisch, Germany. Strauss (Clarinet
Romance in E ?at; Weihnachtslied, TrV2; Ein
R鰏lein zog ich mir im Garten, TrV67; Geduld,
Op 10 No 5; Madrigal, Op 15 No 1; Heimliche
Aufforderung, Op 27 No 3; Hat gesagt ?
bleibt?s nicht dabei, Op 36 No 3; Wie
erkenn?ich mein Treulieb; Guten Morgen,
?s ist Sankt Valentinstag; Sie trugen ihn auf
der Bahre bloss ? Ophelia Lieder, Op 67;
Morgen!, Op 27 No 4; and Rote Rosen, AV76/
TrV119); B閘a Kov醕s (Hommage � Richard
Strauss); and Zemlinsky (Fantasies on Poems
by Richard Dehmel, Op 9 ? Stimme des
Abends and Waldseligkeit)
Jess will sit in your living room and learn everything about you
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Tom McKinney presents a selection of the
?nest concerts from across Europe. P鋜t
(Swan Song); Rachmaninov (Piano Concerto
No 4 in G minor, Op 40); and Strauss
(Symphonia Domestica, Op 53)
3.30 Live Choral Evensong
Live from the Chapel of the Old Royal Naval
College, London. Introit: Beati quorum via
(Stanford). Responses: Shephard. Psalm 47
(Crotch). First Lesson: Isaiah 52 vv 7-10.
Of?ce Hymn: The Church?s One Foundation
(Aurelia). Canticles: Noble in B minor. Second
Lesson: John 17 vv 20-26. Anthem: Great Is
the Lord (Elgar). Hymn: All My Hope on God
Is Founded (Michael) (descant John Rutter).
Organ Voluntary: Sonata in G, Op 28 (Allegro
maestoso) (Elgar). Director of Music: Ralph
Allwood. Organist: Richard Gowers
4.30 New Generation Artists
Tom McKinney introduces songs on the
theme of loneliness. Schubert (Der Einsame,
D800; An die Laute, D905; Nacht und Tr鋟me,
D827; Rastlose Liebe, D138; Drei Ges鋘ge
des Harfners, D478; Wer sich der Einsamkeit
ergibt; Wer nie sein Brot mit Tr鋘en ass; An
die T黵en will ich schleichen) and Piaf/
Monnot (L?hymne a l?amour)
5.00 In Tune
With guests including the Choir of Clare
College, Cambridge
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An imaginative, eclectic mix of music
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
The BBC Symphony Orchestra?s Sibelius cycle.
Sibelius (Symphony No 6); Anders Hillborg
(Violin Concerto No 2); and Sibelius
(Symphony No 4)
10.00 Free Thinking
The essayist Adam Gopnik talks to Shahidha
Bari about city living. Plus, the artist Lucinda
Rogers on depicting changes to a London
market and a new report into prosperity
10.45 The Essay:
More Letters to Writers
?Dear Oscar Fingal O?Flaherty Wilde, Do you
mind if I just call you Oscar? It?s just you
always seemed so approachable yet
ultimately unknowable ? a bit like the
Queen.? Continuing his series of imaginary
correspondences, Ian Sansom ?nds himself
once again in the gutter, looking at the stars.
As his dispatches to the world?s great writers
resume, he ?nds himself increasingly
shocked by their decidedly frank answers
11.00 Late Junction
Verity Sharp?s selections include French vocal
music, headbanging Swiss math-rock, and
Japanese interpretations of Indian raga
12.30am Through the Night (r)
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30 News Brie?ng
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
News headlines and analysis with John
Humphrys and Sarah Montague
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Only Artists
The painter Rose Wylie meets the comedian
Stewart Lee (4/6)
9.30 Life Drawing
Martin Rowson draws and interviews tiger
expert Sarah Christie (4/5) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Living with the Gods
Attempts by some societies to outlaw
certain faiths seen as a threat
10.00 Woman?s Hour
Presented by Jenni Murray. Including at
10.41 the Drama: Ben Cottam?s comedy
drama The Latvian Locum (3/5)
10.55 The Listening Project
A conversation between two apprentices
at Siemens? blade factory in Hull
11.00 A Picture Held Us Captive
Zia Haider Rahman explores the very real
impact metaphor has on the world around us.
See Radio Choice
11.30 It?s a Fair Cop
Al?e Moore presents comedic tales from the
police front line (3/6) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Book of the Week:
Lou Reed ? A Life
Demetri Goritsas reads an extract from
Anthony DeCurtis?s biography of the rock
musician revealing how Reed quit the Velvet
Underground and went solo (3/5)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Day Release
Frank discovers that his daughter is under
threat, and it sends him off the rails (3/3)
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 All in the Mind
The potential of the human mind (5/8) (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed
4.30 The Media Show
The latest news from the media world
5.00 PM
6.00 Six O?Clock News
6.30 All Those Women
Hetty?s old diaries turn up some
uncomfortable truths for Maggie (3/4) (r)
does this make you feel?? If the film
didn?t bother exploring the implications
of allowing a robot to rule your
personal life, at least it was fun and
wittily edited to make Jess?s reactions
amusingly human. Until the end, when
all those trying out Jess gushed about
how she had improved their lives and
the programme turned into a sinister
corporate video from the near future.
Even creepier than Jess was the
possessed doll seen on How to Spend
It Well at Christmas with Phillip
Schofield. Luvabella, a plastic AI baby,
is this year?s ?must-have? toy (although
parents should prepare to sleep with
the light on). This also means that it?ll
probably have been sold out for weeks.
Indeed, if you?re the sort of person
who leaves the Christmas shopping to
a dash of escalating panic on
December 24, this merry gift-idea
bonanza will have helped by giving
you a heads-up that the one vaguely
credible toy you will by then have left
to consider for little Johnny will be a
growling furry tiger for �0.
With the frenzy of Black Friday sales
the spirit of Christmas has entered an
abyss of consumerism, and while this
good-humoured guide felt oddly sweet
and traditional by comparison, and
with a healthy edge of scepticism, it
also felt like further proof of that. Well,
I?m a critic ? I?m paid to be a Grinch.
Enjoy your spending.
james.jackson@thetimes.co.uk
7.00 The Archers
Alan does some award-worthy buttering up
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Living with the Gods
Attempts by some societies to outlaw
certain faiths seen as a threat
8.00 The Moral Maze
An ethical debate on a issue behind the
week?s news (8/9)
8.45 Four Thought
Michael Merrick challenges assumptions
about social mobility
9.00 Science Stories
How a 13-year old girl mapped
metamorphism in the 1600s. Naomi
Alderman hosts. See Radio Choice (2/5)
9.30 Only Artists (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Ritula Shah
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Rabbit Redux
By John Updike (3/10)
11.00 Lenny Henry: Rogue?s Gallery
A white boy from West Virginia is forced to
join the Klu Klux Klan by his father (3/4)
11.15 Joseph Morpurgo?s Walking Tour
An audio adventure through
London?s East End (2/4)
11.30 Today in Parliament
Presented by Susan Hulme
11.55 The Listening Project
The public share intimate conversations (r)
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
Lou Reed ? A Life (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 A Very Private
Man 9.00 Act Your Age 9.30 The Sit Crom
10.00 Plantagenet 11.00 Stories from
Songwriters 11.15 Kindness 12.00 The
Navy Lark 12.30pm A Very Private Man
1.00 Rogue Male 1.30 Bicycle Music 2.00
Dangerous Visions: Never Let Me Go 2.15
Cosmic Quest 2.30 An Expert in Murder 2.45
Room Full of Mirrors 3.00 Plantagenet 4.00
Act Your Age 4.30 The Sit Crom 5.00 The
Cavity Within 5.30 All Those Women 6.00
Ice 6.30 Musical Legends 7.00 The Navy
Lark. Comedy with Leslie Phillips. From 1959
7.30 A Very Private Man. The Parkinsons
reach their new secluded home 8.00 Rogue
Male. Thriller by Geoffrey Household. First
aired in 2004 8.30 Bicycle Music. Music
inspired by cycling?s rhythms 9.00 Stories
from Songwriters. The Announcer?s Daughter
by Eliza Carthy. From 2014 9.15 Kindness
10.00 Comedy Club: All Those Women. Jen is
driven to compete with Stu in the parenting
stakes. From 2015 10.30 Before They Were
Famous. Spoof documentary 10.45 No
Tomatoes. Comedy 10.55 The Comedy Club
Interview. A chat with a guest from the
world of comedy 11.00 Hard to Tell. Tom?s
mother volunteers her son to give the eulogy
for her dead cousin 11.30 Radio 9. The team
examine the perils of parenthood
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Emma Barnett 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport.
Build-up to Everton v West Ham United in
the Premier League 8.00 5 Live Sport:
Premier League Football 2017-18 10.00 5
Live Sport: 5 Live Football Social 10.30 Phil
Williams 1.00am Up All Night 5.00 Reports
5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with David Ginola 10.00 Jim White, Tony
Cascarino and Bob Mills 1.00pm Hawksbee
and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Mark Radcliffe and Stuart
Maconie 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00 Marc Riley
9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Lauren Laverne 1.00am
The First Time with Mick Jones 2.00 The
Look of Love: The Story of the New
Romantics 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music?s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Jane Jones 5.00 Classic FM
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00 The Full
Works Concert. A selection of compositions
inspired by Latin America. M醨quez (Danzon
No 2); Piazzolla (Libertango); Rachmaninov
(Piano Concerto No 2); Vivaldi (Cello Concerto
in F major); Buchardo (Escenas Argentinas);
Abreu (Tico Tico); Bernstein (West Side
Story ? Symphonic Dances); and Piazzolla
(Duo de Amor) 10.00 Smooth Classics. With
Margherita Taylor 1.00am Sam Pittis
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
11
1G T
ROBERT WORKMAN
artsfirst night
Pop
Phil Collins
Royal Albert Hall
Concert
LSO/Pappano
Barbican
O
I
{{{{(
{{{((
f all the rediscoveries in
rock and pop, Phil Collins
must be the most unlikely.
Long derided for being as
cool as a singles night in
Godalming ? David Bowie referred to
his mid-1980s nadir as ?my Phil
Collins years? ? the former Genesis
drummer was by the 1990s a symbol of
all that was wrong with British pop:
dull, blokey and obsessed with divorce.
Yet in the Noughties he became a
favourite of the rap world, then a
semi-ironic fashionable name to drop
and finally a rehabilitated artist lauded
for his sleek melancholy, lyrical
directness and tropical aspiration. At
the Royal Albert Hall rappers and
fashionable people were notable by
their absence, but Collins, 66, was
embraced by the middle-aged
audience in a way only an everyday
100 million-selling superstar can be.
He has also been bashed about by
the years. Walking on stage with a
stick after a back operation in 2015,
and performing rescheduled gigs after
June dates were cancelled following a
nasty fall on his way to the bathroom,
Collins performed the concert sitting.
This meant the action happened
around him, and his voice was good
enough but not remarkable, as evinced
when the backing singer Amy Keys
purred about Collins for a duet of Easy
Lover and put him to shame. Over two
and a half hours, however, he did
prove something remarkable: whether
we like it or not, we all know his songs.
?I know I said that I wouldn?t do this
any more, but I changed my mind,?
said Collins, before going into Against
All Odds. After all these years it was
still irritating to have a millionaire tell
us to ?just think about? homelessness
on Another Day in Paradise, but you
had to warm to the singer as he led an
extremely tight band, featuring his 16year-old son Nic on drums, through
the lonely One More Night.
In the Air Tonight was positively
eerie, not least because of the massive
image of Collins?s snooker-ball head
on a vast screen. Sometimes the sheer
smoothness of it all (the show, not the
head) brought a disturbing sense of
nausea, but when the confetti bombs
went off and everyone creaked to their
feet for Sussudio you could only
marvel at Collins?s ability to capture
the essence of normal life in song. This
was a triumph of the everyman.
Will Hodgkinson
Touring to December 3
Theatre
Roller
Barbican Pit, EC2
{{(((
T
Overegging the pudding: Aisha Jawando as Cinderella flanked by Kat B and Tony Whittle as the ugly sisters
Don?t go to this bloated ball
This lacklustre
pantomime is
overstuffed and
overlong, says
Sam Marlowe
Theatre
Cinderella
Hackney Empire,
E8
{{(((
his year?s winner of the
Oxford Samuel Beckett
Theatre Trust Award,
Roller is nothing if not
timely. It?s a double act
between two unearthly 10ft-high
women who glide on to the stage
promising retribution for thousands
of years of patriarchal prejudice.
Pitching their routine somewhere
between Douglas Adams and Pina
Bausch, the show?s creators, Rachel
Mars, right, and Nat Tarrab, loom in
long black costumes and rubberpadded safety gear to ask ominous
questions of us: ?Is this the progress??
Living as we are in what feels like
a tipping point for sexual politics,
in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein
O
ver many Christmases past,
Hackney?s panto effortlessly
outsparkled the capital?s
seasonal competition. This
year, however ? and I?m
sorry to sound Scrooge-like ? the
baubles seem to have dropped off.
The ever-popular story of ugly
sisters, silver slippers, pumpkins and
rodent-assisted romance is dished up
by the usual award-winning team of
the writer-director Susie McKenna
and the musical supervisor Steven
Edis. Yet the wit, pace and pizzazz
that have traditionally made the
Empire?s offering an annual treat
have gone sadly awol.
This bloated Cinderella clocks
in at a Shakespearean two hours
45 minutes, and far too much of it is
lacklustre and laboured. Flashes of
spectacle help to restore festive spirits
and a hardworking cast deliver some
enjoyable individual turns, but even a
fairy godmother would struggle to
make magic from a show limited to
such effortful fun.
Aisha Jawando is a sweet if slightly
bland Cinders, while Chris Jenkins as
her royal squeeze is wholesomely
gung-ho, with a decided dash of Prince
Harry. Stephane Anelli impresses
as Dandini, Prince Charming?s
sharp-suited, tap-dancing Italian valet,
fretting about his future in post-Brexit
scandal especially, the show
has found its moment.
I?m less convinced that it has
found its true shape, however. As
Mars and Tarrab orate from on
high, at ground level other
women start marking out the
shape of a roller-derby track
with chalk dust and paper.
As this fascinating but
lengthy process goes on,
our feminist alien avengers
mix fury with the slow
progress of equality with
a self-parodic bombast
and wilful repetitiveness.
Furious Mars is all up
for bashing one of the
patriarchs in the front row
Britain. And Darren Hart is a loveable,
goofy Buttons, with his equine
sidekick Clapton, a pantomime nag
with huge rolling eyes and a terrifying
set of tombstone teeth.
Cinderella?s spiteful step-siblings
aren?t nearly rude or outrageous
enough, but Kat B in particular makes
up for that in sheer dragged-up
fabulosity. McKenna badly overeggs
the Christmas pudding, though, by
rampantly inflating the minor roles
of Baron Hardup and his glittering
harridan of a second wife. This is
panto: we want camp shenanigans,
cheeky wordplay, tinsel and slick
slapstick. We do not need Peter
Straker?s Baron to wallow in a soulful,
second-act rendition of Rag?n?Bone
Man?s hit song Human; still less
do we need McKenna as his wife,
the wicked stepmother Anastasia,
in a musical-theatre medley that
takes in Dreamgirls and Gypsy and
reeks of self-indulgence.
Richard Roe?s choreography is
uninspired and the stage sometimes
looks weirdly underpopulated. Still,
there?s a hot-air balloon and ? the
best moment ? a flying horse to
admire, as well as a pair of cute
singing puppet mice. We all know
Hackney can do better. You shall go to
the ball? This time, frankly, not fussed.
Box office: 020 8985 2424, to Dec 31
with
w a scaffolding bar.
Sensible
Tarrab is here to
S
ask if violent retribution is
itself progress.
They are on to
something.
Mars?s
s
design
lets us know
d
from
the off that they
f
are
a redrawing the
parameters
of sport and
p
theatre
as two supporting
t
players
roll away what looked
p
to be a solid basketball court floor.
It?s a neat reminder that what we
think of as solid and enduring is
only man-made and temporary.
This striking but slightly slack
show oozes with a promise it
never quite comes good on. I
f you like music that goes over
the top, Antonio Pappano is
definitely your kind of conductor.
He?ll even stack up piles of such
works in a single night. Last year
Pappano and the London Symphony
Orchestra showered us with Respighi?s
Roman trilogy. On Sunday they
doused us with Liszt, a composer
who most orchestral concerts treat
as if he is hot coal to be held delicately
between tongs.
As a relatively gentle introduction
we began with a recent and
exceptionally pleasing orchestration
by Salvatore Sciarrino of the piano
piece Sposalizio, inspired by a Raphael
painting seen on Liszt?s visits to
Milan. Splintered at first into
individual piquant timbres, this
flowered into a passionate climax
before fading into radiant sighs,
topped off with bells and solo flute.
Cadenzas were
delivered so fast
I felt the piano
keys melting
Pappano and his superb players
shaped it all with love.
Nothing so subtle appeared in the
authentic Liszt of Totentanz, a crazy
boneshaker whose main purpose
seems to be hammering the Dies
Irae chant into the ground. The
pianist Alice Sara Ott, no stranger
to Liszt or to hammering, took
its brazen follies on the chin. The
furious cadenzas and glissandos
were delivered so fast that I felt the
piano keys melting. Hot on her heels,
Pappano?s orchestra kept baying and
crying, brass to the fore. All enjoyable
in its way.
Finally, on came the mighty A Faust
Symphony; too mighty at times for the
level of inspiration that Liszt offers.
Still, the chamber delicacies of the
Gretchen movement proved very
beguiling. The tenor Brenden Gunnell
and the gentlemen of the London
Symphony Chorus provided a radiant
choral finale, although since Pappano
is so good at musical thunder I
couldn?t help wishing that Liszt?s Faust
had avoided redemption and ended
the symphony roasting in Hell.
Geoff Brown
wanted to hear more about a roller
derby as an inclusive female
counterpart to male sport. And I
wondered if Mars and Tarrab repeat
themselves so much because that?s
part of the gag or because they
need to extend their lines to give
the seven other women time to make
the track that doesn?t end up getting
used anyway.
So Roller ends up as the very
definition of great as far as it goes: I
laughed, I was fitfully intrigued and
impressed, but when it ended after
only 50 minutes it felt like they were
still only warming up.
Dominic Maxwell
Box office: 020 7638 8891, to
December 2
12
1G T
Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
The Channel
Channel 4, 9pm
Early
Four hundred
Top ships pass
pick through the
21-mile-wide
Dover Strait every day.
The free flow of goods
and people has
transformed the British
economy, with cargo
ships and ferries
bringing us 95 per cent
of the goods we buy
(53 per cent of which
come from Europe).
This new four-part
series goes behind the
scenes to reveal how it
works. With about
7,000 lorries
disembarking each day,
the slightest delay can
cause chaos. This is
heightened in the
summer, when
holidaymakers join the
party. The stakes are
high for the ferry
captains, negotiating
these busy shipping
lanes, sometimes in
terrible weather. The
cameras are also on
hand to witness an
unprecedented
challenge for the Dover
coastguard. The MOL
Trust is one of the
longest container ships
in the world, and at
197,500 tons she is
almost four times
bigger than the Titanic.
However, the vessel,
which is carrying
fireworks, fairy lights
and Christmas trees
bound for British high
streets, is so new that
she has never been
through the Channel
before, so a specialist
pilot is needed to get
her into port without
mishap. It?s a stressful
procedure, with sailing
boats (and swimmers)
complicating matters
for the giant ship.
Country House
Secrets
BBC One, 8pm
This week Mary Berry
is at Scone Palace,
Perthshire, where
Scotland?s kings were
crowned. For more
than 400 years it has
been home to the
Murray family, and
Berry is there to spend
time with the 9th Earl
and Countess of
Mansfield and their
family in the build-up
to one of their
renowned dinner
parties. Berry?s guide is
the earl?s son, William,
and he talks her
through the palace?s
fascinating history.
Berry also makes
herself useful in the
palace?s kitchens,
cooking classic
Scottish dishes such
as cock-a-leekie soup
and cranachan.
Peaky Blinders
BBC Two, 9pm
Adrien Brody?s
psychotic New York
mafioso Luca
Changretta is a
character lifted straight
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Claimed and Shamed. A driver?s
personal injury claim is rumbled 10.00 Homes Under the
Hammer. Featuring properties in Northern Ireland,
Newcastle and Dover (r) (AD) 11.00 The Housing
Enforcers. A tenant who has lived in the same house for
64 years faces eviction (r) 11.45 The Sheriffs Are
Coming. Ken will not take no for an answer at a hotel
with a debt to pay 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Kate Bliss and
Colin Young assist the teams in Stafford (r) (AD) 1.00
BBC News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News;
Weather 1.45 Doctors. Zara and Daniel confront DI
Stanton for putting their family at risk, while a forgetful
Emma misplaces something important (AD) 2.15
Armchair Detectives. Three amateur sleuths try to solve
the ?ctional murder of a dairy farmer 3.00 Escape to the
Country. Jonnie Irwin helps a couple to ?nd a property in
Northumberland (AD) 3.45 Royal Recipes. Michael Buerk
and Paul Ainsworth recreate a dish from the most lavish
royal banquet (AD) 4.30 Flog It! A special programme
featuring never seen before valuations 5.15 Pointless.
Quiz show hosted by Alexander Armstrong (r) 6.00 BBC
News at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am An Island Parish: Falklands (r) (AD) 6.30
Claimed and Shamed (r) 7.15 Royal Recipes (r) (AD)
8.00 Sign Zone: Nigella ? At My Table (r) (AD, SL) 8.30
Caught Red Handed (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 Daily Politics (r)
1.00pm The Link (r) 1.45 Terry and Mason?s Great Food
Trip. Terry Wogan and Mason McQueen?s tour stops off in
Chester (r) 2.15 Channel Patrol. Two rival skippers go
head to head in an effort to catch the biggest ?sh off
Weymouth, and Trinity House ship Galatea attends a
damaged light vessel (r) 3.00 The Indian Doctor. Kamini
wants to escape from Trefelin but realises she is the only
one who can help local tearaway Dan, and Prem learns
more about the miners? deteriorating health (r) (AD) 3.45
Oxford Street Revealed. Plainclothes police on patrol run
into an argument outside a shop (r) 4.15 Wartime Farm.
Ruth Goodman, Alex Langlands and Peter Ginn prepare to
leave the farm, learning how the closing stages of the war
brought added pressure to farmers. Last in the series (r)
(AD) 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (r)
6.00 Eggheads 6.30 Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two.
How the contestants are shaping up for Saturday
6.00am Good Morning Britain. John Barrowman chats
about appearing in panto this Christmas 8.30 Lorraine.
Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news 9.25 The
Jeremy Kyle Show 10.30 This Morning. Phillip Scho?eld
and Holly Willoughby present chat and lifestyle features,
including a look at the stories making the newspaper
headlines and a recipe in the kitchen 12.30pm Loose
Women. The presenters chat about the issues that have
everyone talking and are joined by Steven Brandon and
Shana Swash, who chat about their award-winning ?lm,
My Feral Heart 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge
Rinder. Cameras follow the criminal barrister Robert
Rinder as he takes on real-life cases in a studio courtroom
3.00 Dickinson?s Real Deal. The team are in Harrogate,
North Yorkshire where David Ford is horsing about, Helen
Gardiner is going for gold and Fay Rutter is ?red up by a
cigarette case. David Dickinson hosts (r) 4.00 Tipping
Point. Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed quiz show
(r) 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents as four
contestants answer general knowledge questions and
take on quiz genius the Chaser and secure a cash prize
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.20am The King of Queens (r) 7.35 Everybody Loves
Raymond (r) (AD) 9.00 Frasier (r) (AD) 10.05 Ramsay?s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (r) 11.00 Undercover Boss USA
(r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm Come Dine
with Me. Four contestants in Derby compete (r) 1.05
Kirstie?s Handmade Christmas. Kirstie Allsopp applies her
craft skills to Christmas, with tips on decorating, snow
globes, gingerbread, handmade gifts and present
wrapping (r) (AD) 2.10 Countdown. The psychologist
Linda Papadopoulos is in Dictionary Corner 3.00 Lost and
Found. Two smuggled dachshund puppies are rescued at
the port of Dover 4.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun.
Ben Hillman ?nds properties for newlyweds Bill and
Michael 5.00 Four in a Bed. The third visit of the week is
to The Cranberries Hideaway in Devon 5.30 Come Dine
with Me. A mobile hairdresser and amateur musical
songstress hosts 6.00 The Simpsons. Homer starts
illegally downloading ?lms and opens his own cinema in
the back yard (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Marnie attempts to
seduce a confession out of Mac about the explosion, a
revelation from the school explosion is discovered and
James manages to annoy Hunter (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and his guests talk about the issues of the day,
with viewers calling in to offer their opinions 11.45
FILM: A Bride for Christmas (PG, TVM, 2012)
A single man tries to win a bet by getting a woman
recovering from a broken engagement to marry him by
Christmas. Romantic drama with Arielle Kebbel, Andrew
W Walker, Kimberly Sustad and Sage Brocklebank
1.25pm 5 News at Lunchtime 1.30 Neighbours (AD)
2.00 FILM: Kristin?s Christmas Past (PG, TVM,
2013) A woman goes back in time at Christmas to revisit
her estranged family before the events that drove them
apart. Fantasy comedy starring Shiri Appleby and
Elizabeth Mitchell 3.40 FILM: My Christmas Love
(PG, TVM, 2016) A woman receives presents from an
anonymous suitor who is inspired by the 12 Days of
Christmas. Romantic comedy starring Meredith Hagner,
Bobby Campo and Megan Park 5.30 5 News at 5.30 6.00
Neighbours. Mark persuades Paige not to end things,
while a milestone moment for Gabe gives him a chance to
demonstrate his commitment. Piper suffers a panic attack
at the swimming pool (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
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7.00
The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones host the live magazine show,
with a team of roving reporters
presenting stories of interest from
around the UK, plus big-name guests
7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip
Brian Conley and Nick Owen hunt
for antiques in Worcestershire
and Shropshire, assisted by experts
Kate Bliss and Philip Serrell
7.00 Emmerdale Chrissie plays
peacemaker, Debbie is confused,
and Bernice feels the pressure (AD)
8.00 Mary Berry?s Country House
Secrets Mary visits Scone Palace near
Perth in Scotland, where she is invited
to help Lady Mans?eld prepare for a
special dinner with traditional Scottish
reeling. See Viewing Guide (2/4) (AD)
8.00 MasterChef: The Professionals
The ?nal round of heats continues,
and the six chefs begin with the Skills
Test, in which they have 20 minutes to
cook rose veal sweetbread with a
well-judged garnish and sauce (AD)
8.00 Gino?s Italian Coastal Escape
Gino D?Acampo visits the home of
water buffalo mozzarella (5/8)
9.00 The Apprentice The candidates are
tasked with creating a new recipe kit,
establishing the branding and devising
a tasty dish to complement their
chosen food trend. However, a
shortage of ideas, lack of basic culinary
skills and a clash of personalities
cause problems for the teams
9.00 Peaky Blinders The Italians launch
another attack and Tommy realises
that the Shelbys need to evolve if they
are to survive, but some of the family
are reluctant to part with tradition.
See Viewing Guide (3/6) (AD)
9.00 I?m a Celebrity? Get Me Out of
Here! Ant and Dec present the survival
challenge, as the famous faces
continue their ordeal in the Australian
jungle, struggling to complete the
tough daily tasks and dreaded
Bushtucker Trials
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 Match of the Day Dan Walker, Danny
Murphy and Ian Wright present action
from the midweek Premier League
?xtures, including Watford v
Manchester United at Vicarage Road,
Stoke City v Liverpool at the DW
Stadium and Chelsea v Swansea City at
Stamford Bridge. United and Liverpool
both faced potentially tricky away
?xtures, while the Blues will have
expected to pick up all three points at
home to the struggling Swans
12.25am Junior Doctors: Blood, Sweat and Tears
Documentary shedding light on the experiences of seven,
newly quali?ed junior doctors as they begin placements
at New Cross Hospital in Wolverhampton (AD)
1.00-6.00 BBC News
10.00 The Apprentice: You?re Fired
Interview with the show?s freshly
rejected candidate (9/12)
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Evan Davis
11.15 Employable Me The stories of people
with disabilities who are battling to
?nd work, beginning by focusing on a
businessman who had a stroke and a
man with Tourette?s (1/4) (r) (AD)
12.15am Sign Zone: Rick Stein?s Road to Mexico
Almost 50 years on, the chef re-traces his steps from
Northern California to Mexico, beginning in San Francisco,
a region famous for dishes like Cioppino Stew (r) (AD, SL)
1.15-2.15 Extreme Wives with Kate Humble. A look at
diverse communities around the world (r) (AD, SL)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Traf?c Cops Special: Carjacked
The of?cers? hunt for a stolen car ends
in a dramatic foot chase, while two
reckless car thieves lead them on
one of the longest pursuits in the
history of the force (r)
8.00 The Secret Life of the Zoo
The keepers are concerned about a
three-month-old Andean bear cub,
worrying that its mother?s
overprotective behaviour may curb
its development (3/6) (AD)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors A special
episode from Hor?eld Health Centre
in Bristol, shining a light on the trials
and joys of being a pensioner in the UK
in 2017. First through Dr Ramshaw?s
consulting room door is Roy, a 92-yearold, whose carpal tunnel syndrome
keeps him awake at night (AD)
9.00 The Channel: The World?s Busiest
Waterway New series. Behind the
scenes with the people who work on
the English Channel, with up to 400
ships passing through the 21-milewide Dover Strait every day.
See Viewing Guide (1/4)
9.00 Wallis: The Queen That Never
Was Docudrama about Wallis
Simpson, examining her diaries and
private letters to piece together the
details of her life. The ?lm examines
her abusive ?rst marriage and unusual
courtship by Edward VIII, whose
infatuation with her was often
obsessive and controlling. Featuring
dramatic reconstructions of key
moments, with Georgina Rich
as Wallis and Alex Avery as Edward.
See Viewing Guide
7.30 Coronation Street Mary is accused of
harming her grandson, Gary shares a
dark family secret with Faye, and Kate
makes a hasty announcement (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Mary?s
protestations of innocence fall on deaf
ears and Aidan employs dirty tricks to
scupper the factory sale (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.00 Man Down Jo must decide who
she really is (6/6) (AD)
10.30 Regional News
10.35 How to Build a Robot David Tennant
narrates a warm-hearted look at the
future of robotics, focusing on a new
kind of machine designed by Canadian
robot inventor and puppeteer David
McGoran. See Viewing Guide
10.45 Heathrow: Britain?s Busiest
Airport Storm Imogen causes chaos
on the runways and in the terminals,
while trainee engineer Elliot prepares
to get his hands dirty as he clears a
blocked sewage pit (3/3) (r)
11.45 Play to the Whistle Sports-based
comedy panel show hosted by Holly
Willoughby (6/6) (r)
11.40 999: What?s Your Emergency? The
rapidly growing number of 999 calls
connected to the over-75s (r) (AD)
12.25am Jackpot247 3.00 May the Best House Win.
Four homeowners in Nottingham compete for the �000
prize as they tour a modern three-storey home and a lad?s
pad in the upstairs of a converted 1960s bungalow (r)
(SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle
Show. Guests air their differences (r) (SL)
12.40am Pokerstars Championship 1.35 Undercover
Boss USA (r) 2.25 FILM: Northwest (15, 2013) Crime
drama starring real-life brothers Gustav and Oscar
Dyekjaer Giese. In Danish 4.00 Phil Spencer: Secret Agent
(r) (AD) 4.55 Draw It! (r) 5.20 Kirstie?s Fill Your House
for Free (r) 5.35-6.20 Countdown (r)
11.00 MOBO Awards 2017 Highlights of
the event at First Direct Arena in
Leeds, celebrating the best hip-hop,
R?n?B, soul, reggae, jazz, gospel and
African music of the past 12 months
1.00am SuperCasino 3.10 Law & Order: Special Victims
Unit. A teenage boy accuses Stabler of molesting him (r)
(AD) 4.00 Now That?s Funny! A selection of kitchen
nightmares (r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor. A cluttered
property in the Cotswolds (r) (SL) 5.10 Divine Designs.
With Paul Binski (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Nick?s Quest (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
13
1G T
television & radio
from The Godfather,
with the accent to
match. He poses such a
threat to the Shelby
clan that they are even
willing to break with
tradition ? the law of
the bullet that says that
Arthur, as the oldest
Shelby, should be the
one to pull the trigger.
?Tradition will just f***
us up,? says Tommy
(Cillian Murphy), as the
family votes to give a
photo of Luca to the
Romany hitman
Aberama Gold (Aidan
Gillen). Arthur (Paul
Anderson), back to his
snarling, rabid best, is
not going to take it
lying down.
Wallis: The Queen
That Never Was
Channel 5, 9pm
Using private letters,
diaries and personal
testimony, this
docudrama posits
Wallis Simpson as
victim, not villain.
According to this
version of events,
Simpson pleaded with
her lover, King Edward
VIII, not to give up the
throne. She was willing
to step aside, to
sacrifice their
relationship so he could
continue being king.
But he threatened to
kill himself, so she
was stuck with a
?desperately needy
child? and the rest is
history. The talking
heads, including Lady
Colin Campbell and
Nicky Haslam, are
persuasive, but the
whole thing is turned
into an overblown soap
opera by the dramatic
reconstructions.
Which, to be fair,
it probably was.
How to
Build a Robot
Channel 4, 10.35pm
The puppeteer turned
robot inventor David
McGoran has a big
problem with robots.
?They?re so stiff,?? he
says. ?And stiffness
communicates
deadness. And a dead
thing moving is really
unsettling.? He thinks
that the only way
humans will be able to
trust robots is if they
move like we do, and
his quest is to create a
loveable, relatable
robot that people will
feel able to open up to.
In this eccentric,
occasionally profound
film, we follow
McGoran?s progress.
The real test comes
when his creation is
unleashed, alone, on to
the streets of Bristol.
Sport choice
BT Sport 1, 7.15pm
The former Everton
manager David Moyes
returns to his old
stomping ground as
manager of West Ham
United as the sides face
off at Goodison Park in
the Premier League
(kick-off 7.45pm).
Managerless Everton
are in freefall and need
a victory tonight.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Monkey Life (r) (AD) 8.00 Animal 999
(r) (AD) 9.00 The Dog Whisperer (r) 10.00
Monkey Life (r) (AD) 11.00 Modern Family (r)
12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii
Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00
Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00 The Simpsons (r) 5.30
Futurama. Earth is invaded by aliens (r) (AD)
6.00 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 DC?s Legends of Tomorrow. The team ends
up in Vietnam during the war
9.00 Marvel?s Inhumans. Gorgon and Karnak
take on Auran and her army
10.00 Bounty Hunters
10.40 The Simpsons. Double bill (r)
11.35 A League of Their Own. Sports-based
comedy quiz with Matt Smith, Jonathan Ross
and Perri Shakes-Drayton (r) (AD)
12.30am Road Wars (r) 1.00 The Force: Essex
(r) 2.00 Night Cops (r) (AD) 3.00 It?s Me or the
Dog 4.00 Stop, Search, Seize. Documentary (r)
(AD) 5.00 The Dog Whisperer (r)
6.00am Richard E Grant?s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
7.00 Urban Secrets (r) 8.00 Storm City (r) (AD)
9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00 House (r)
6.00 House. A teenage girl collapses (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Warrick
testi?es at a rape and murder hearing (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Danny investigates when an
ex-NYPD of?cer goes missing (r) (AD)
9.00 Band of Brothers. Having notched up a
decisive victory over the Germans at Bastogne,
an exhausted Easy Company is ordered to take
the nearby town of Foy, but many of the troops
are killed in the process (7/10) (r)
10.35 Band of Brothers. Winters ignores a
direct order (8/10) (r)
11.50 The Sopranos. AJ causes problems for his
family as he tries to better his life (r) (AD)
1.05am The Sopranos (r) (AD) 2.20 Requiem
for the Dead: An American Spring 2014 (r) 3.45
Californication (r) 4.20 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Obese:
A Year to Save My Life USA (r) 8.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 9.00 Criminal Minds (r)
11.00 Gold Coast Cops (r) (AD) 12.00 Border
Security: America?s Front Line (r) (AD) 1.00pm
Stop, Search, Seize (r) (AD) 2.00 Nothing to
Declare (r) (AD) 4.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (r) 5.00 Criminal Minds (r)
6.00 Criminal Minds (r)
7.00 My Kitchen Rules New Zealand. Wellington
hairdressers Teal and Sophie open the doors of
their Instant Restaurant
8.00 Elementary. Sherlock investigates a serial
killer known for biting his victims (r) (AD)
9.00 Grey?s Anatomy
10.00 Scandal. Political drama
11.00 Criminal Minds (r)
12.00 Madam Secretary (r) 1.00am Bones (r)
(AD) 2.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
3.00 Border Security: America?s Front Line (r)
(AD) 4.00 My Kitchen Rules New Zealand 5.00
Nothing to Declare. Double bill (r)
6.00am From Vienna to Broadway 8.00 Auction
8.30 Watercolour Challenge 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 10.00 Master of Photography
(AD) 11.00 Landscape Artist of the Year 2017
12.00 Discovering: Gina Lollobrigida (AD)
1.00pm Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.00
Watercolour Challenge 2.30 Auction 3.00 Elvis
Presley: A Legend in Concert 4.00 Too Young to
Die (AD) 5.00 Discovering: The Eagles
5.30 Watercolour Challenge
6.00 Discovering: Marlene Dietrich (AD)
7.00 I Am La Scala. The 200-year-old story of
Milan?s illustrious opera house La Scala
8.00 Landscape Artist of the Year 2017.
9.00 War and Peace. Last in the series
11.00 The Russian Revolution Through Its
Films. Documentary
12.00 Landscape Artist of the Year 2017
1.00am Tales of the Unexpected. Double bill
(AD) 2.00 Passions 3.00 Auction 3.30 The Art
Show (AD) 4.30 Baim Archive 5.00 The South
Bank Show Originals. Double bill
6.00am Total Goals 9.00 Good Morning Sports
Fans 10.00 Premier League Daily 11.00 Sky
Sports Daily 4.00pm Live: Ram Slam T20
Challenge ? Lions v Titans. Coverage of the
match from South Africa?s domestic competition
7.30 Live SPFL: Rangers v Aberdeen. Coverage
of the Scottish Premiership clash at Ibrox
10.00 Gillette Soccer Special. Julian Warren
introduces pre-match reports and news of all
tonight?s goals as they go in, while studio guests
keep an eye on the big games and talking points
10.30 Nissan Match Choice. Extended highlights
from the Premier League, allowing viewers to
access the latest round of top-?ight ?xtures
11.00 Premier League Highlights.
Manchester City v Southampton. Action from
the top-?ight clash at Etihad Stadium
11.30 Premier League Highlights. Arsenal v
Hudders?eld Town. Action from the top-?ight
clash at Emirates Stadium
12.00 Premier League Highlights.
Four episodes 2.00am Sky Sports News
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm Nolan Live
11.40 Match of the Day. Action from the
midweek Premier League ?xtures 1.20am
Junior Doctors: Blood, Sweat and Tears. Emeka
treats a patient who collapsed in a hospital
corridor 1.50-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 10.40pm Scot Squad.
Singh and McKirdy gallantly help out a hen do
11.10 Match of the Day. The midweek Premier
League ?xtures 12.50am Junior Doctors:
Blood, Sweat and Tears (AD) 1.20 Weather for
the Week Ahead 1.25-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 10.30pm Wales Live.
Bethan Rhys Roberts presents 11.05 Match of
the Day 12.45am Junior Doctors: Blood, Sweat
and Tears (AD) 1.15 Weather for the Week
Ahead 1.20-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 11.15pm Spotlight
11.45-12.15 Motherland (AD)
Or cross your fingers at the Box Office.
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 1.45pm Channel Patrol
(r) 2.30 Politics Scotland (r) 3.30-4.15 The
Indian Doctor (r) (AD)
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Crime Files
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BBC Four
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7.00pm Beyond 100 Days. News and analysis
from Washington DC and London
7.30 Christmas University Challenge 2015.
Manchester University takes on the University
of East Anglia. Jeremy Paxman presents (r)
8.00 How the Wild West Was Won with Ray
Mears. The adventurer explores how the Great
Plains ? 500,000-square miles of grassland ?
became the setting for some of the Wild West?s
most dramatic events (2/3) (r) (AD)
9.00 Digging for Britain. Alice Roberts visits
digs in the east of the country (2/4) (AD)
10.00 Detectorists. Lance is obsessed with
?nding the thief that stole his gold (AD)
10.30 The League of Gentlemen. A theatre
company visit the local school (r)
11.00 Premium Bond with Mark Gatiss and
Matthew Sweet (r) (AD)
11.55 Timeshift: Looking for Mr Bond: 007 at
the BBC. The BBC reveals forgotten ?les on the
world?s most famous secret agent (5/6) (r) (AD)
12.55am Revolution and Romance: Musical
Masters of the 19th Century (r) (AD) 1.55 How
the Wild West Was Won with Ray Mears (r)
(AD) 2.55-3.55 Digging for Britain (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Charmed (r)
9.00 Rules of Engagement (r) 10.00 Black-ish
(r) (AD) 11.00 How I Met Your Mother (r) (AD)
12.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang
Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD)
3.00 How I Met Your Mother (r) (AD) 4.00 New
Girl (r) (AD) 5.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Holly returns from Mexico, but
still cannot bring herself to forgive Dirk (AD)
7.30 First Dates Abroad. Sharlene is smitten
with beefcake Brandon at the Canadian
restaurant (r) (AD)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
9.00 FILM: A Good Day to Die Hard (12,
2013) Action adventure sequel starring Bruce
Willis and Jai Courtney (AD)
11.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.00 Rude Tube (r) 1.05am Gogglebox (r) (SL)
2.10 The Inbetweeners. Double bill (r) (AD, SL)
3.05 First Dates (r) (AD) 4.00 Black-ish.
Double bill (r) (AD) 4.40 Charmed (r) (SL)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r)
10.00 Four in a Bed. Five episodes (r) 12.40pm
A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun (r) 2.45 Come
Dine with Me (r) 3.50 Time Team. Double bill (r)
5.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo (r) (AD)
6.55 The Supervet. A puppy requires a skin graft
after being hit by a car (r) (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. Natasha Cargill wants to
build a home shaped like two enormous
periscopes in rural Norfolk, but she must adhere
to strict planning constraints to ensure she can
live there (6/10) (r) (AD)
9.00 Walks with My Dog (r) (AD)
10.00 24 Hours in A&E. Patients include
84-year-old Neil who has fallen down the stairs
at home, and his wife Jenny re?ects on the
shock of realising that their life may never be
the same again (r) (AD)
11.05 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. Jon
Richardson and Michelle Wolf take on Jonathan
Ross with Johnny Vegas (r)
12.05am Ramsay?s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
An Italian restaurant in New Jersey (r) 1.05
Ramsay?s Hotel Hell (r) (AD) 2.00 24 Hours in
A&E (r) (AD) 3.05-3.45 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am Legend of the Lost (U, 1957)
Adventure starring John Wayne and Sophia
Loren 1.15pm The Riot Club Interview Special
(r) 1.25 Siege of the Saxons (U, 1963)
Medieval adventure starring Ronald Lewis 3.15
Halls of Montezuma (U, 1950) Second World
War adventure starring Richard Widmark 5.40
Avatar (12, 2009) Sci-? adventure starring
Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana
8.50 The Riot Club Interview Special. Sam
Cla?in, Douglas Booth, Max Irons and Holliday
Grainger discuss their roles in the drama about a
Cambridge University drinking society (r)
9.00 The Riot Club (15, 2014) Two Oxford
students join an infamous drinking society, but
are unprepared for how far they take their
hedonistic lifestyle. Drama starring Sam Cla?in
11.05 2 Guns (15, 2013) Two undercover
agents become fugitives after a disastrous sting,
but each thinks the other is a real criminal.
Action adventure starring Denzel Washington
and Mark Wahlberg (AD)
1.15am-4.00 Wall Street: Money Never
Sleeps (12, 2010) Drama sequel starring
Michael Douglas and Shia LaBeouf
6.00am Totally Bonkers Guinness World
Records (r) 6.20 Planet?s Got Talent (r) 6.45
Dinner Date (r) 7.35 Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.00
The Cube: Christmas Special (r) 9.00 The Ellen
DeGeneres Show (r) 9.50 Dinner Date (r)
10.50 I?m a Celebrity? Get Me Out of Here! (r)
11.50 Planet?s Got Talent (r) 12.20pm
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 12.50 The Guide to You?ve
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Show 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
6.00 I?m a Celebrity? Get Me Out of Here! (r)
7.00 You?ve Been Framed! Gold. Harry Hill
narrates a selection of camcorder clips (r)
7.30 You?ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
9.30 Family Guy (r) (AD)
10.00 I?m a Celebrity: Extra Camp. Companion
programme to the reality show
11.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 American Dad! (r) (AD)
12.00 American Dad! (r) (AD) 12.30am
Ghosted (r) (AD) 1.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
1.30 Release the Hounds (r) 2.30 Teleshopping
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Judge Judy (r) 6.20 Classic Coronation
Street (r) 7.10 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 8.15 Wild at
Heart (r) (AD) 9.10 Judge Judy (r) 10.30 A
Touch of Frost (r) (AD) 12.35pm Wild at Heart
(r) (AD) 1.35 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 2.40 Classic
Coronation Street (r) 3.50 A Touch of Frost (r)
(AD) 5.50 Heartbeat (r) (AD)
6.55 Murder, She Wrote. Jessica learns one of
her stories has been used by a Hollywood
producer without her permission (r) (AD)
8.00 Doc Martin. Martin discovers a health
issue that could put Louisa in danger if she
gets on a plane (8/8) (r) (AD)
9.00 Midsomer Murders. Barnaby and Jones
race to ?nd a connection between a stolen
antiques racket and two couples who
disappeared in a village rumoured to have
haunted woods (r)
11.05 Blue Murder. The discovery of a child?s
body presents Janine with a particularly tough
case, especially when her ex-husband Pete
delivers shattering news (2/4) (r)
12.35am A Touch of Frost (r) (AD) 2.20 ITV3
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12.40pm The Avengers (r) 1.50 Ironside (r)
2.55 Quincy ME (r) 4.00 The Sweeney. Regan
gets a tip-off (r) 5.00 The Avengers. Mother
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7.05 Pawn Stars (r)
7.35 Pawn Stars (r)
8.00 River Monsters (r)
8.30 Britain?s Busiest Motorway (6/6) (r)
9.00 Inside London Fire Brigade (3/3) (r)
10.00 FILM: Crank (18, 2006) An assassin is
poisoned and resorts to desperate measures to
keep himself alive long enough to exact a ?tting
revenge. Action thriller starring Jason Statham,
Amy Smart and Jose Pablo Cantillo (AD)
11.50 FILM: Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (15,
2015) Comedy starring Rob Corddry, Craig
Robinson, Clark Duke and Adam Scott
1.40 Ax Men. An expedition runs into a group of
alligators (r) 2.35 The Protectors. Harry ?nds
himself in danger (r) 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters UK 10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm
Top Gear (AD) 3.00 Sin City Motors (AD)
4.00 Ice Road Truckers 5.00 Timber Kings
6.00 Top Gear. (AD)
7.00 The Hurting
7.30 The Hurting
8.00 James May?s Cars of the People. How
aspiration and new wealth inspired some of the
greatest cars ever made (3/3)
9.00 Live at the Apollo. With Kevin Bridges,
Shappi Khorsandi and Jack Whitehall
10.00 Would I Lie to You? With Fern Britton,
Richard E Grant, Sanjeev Bhaskar and Martin
Clunes. Presented by Rob Brydon
10.40 Would I Lie to You? With Ruth Jones,
Jason Manford, Jack Dee and Peter Sera?nowicz
11.20 QI. With Bill Bailey, Andy Hamilton
and Helen Atkinson-Wood
12.00 Room 101 (AD) 12.40am Mock the Week
Christmas Special 1.20 QI 2.00 Live at the
Apollo 3.00 Hoff the Record (AD) 3.30 The
Indestructibles 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London?s Burning 9.00
Casualty 10.00 Campion (AD) 11.00 The Bill
1.00pm Last of the Summer Wine (AD) 1.40 A
Fine Romance 2.20 Birds of a Feather 3.00
London?s Burning 4.00 Pie in the Sky 5.00
Campion. Suicide theories are discounted (AD)
6.00 A Fine Romance. The farmhouse slips out
of Mike and Laura?s grasp
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. A motorcyclist
scares the living daylights out of Compo (AD)
7.20 As Time Goes By. Jean is bridesmaid at
Lionel?s father?s wedding
8.00 Inspector George Gently. The adopted child
of a middle-class couple is kidnapped and
suspicion immediately falls upon the natural
mother, who is thought to have ?stolen? her
baby back (3/4) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. The case of a missing PE
teacher is reinvestigated when the remains of a
body are discovered near the elite public
boarding school where he taught (2/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather
12.00 The Bill 1.00am London?s Burning 2.00
In Deep 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Cash in the Attic 6.45 Secrets of War
7.45 Time Team 9.40 Impossible Engineering
(AD) 10.40 Napoleon: The Egyptian Campaign
11.40 Time Team. Double bill 1.40pm Oceans
2.40 Coast (AD) 3.35 Morecambe and Wise: The
Greatest Moment (AD) 5.00 Christmas Night
with the Two Ronnies
6.00 The World at War
7.00 The Codebreaker Who Hacked Hitler. The
work of the mathematician Gordon Welchman
8.00 Impossible Engineering. The largest
passenger ships in the world (AD)
9.00 Napoleon: The Egyptian Campaign.
The defeat of the military expedition to Egypt
10.00 Yes Minister. Christmas special. The
festivities at the Department of Administrative
Affairs are overshadowed when the prime
minister announces his retirement, causing a
mad scramble for his job
11.30 The Two Ronnies. The turkey goes
missing at the Christmas meal
12.30am Impossible Engineering (AD) 1.30
The Codebreaker Who Hacked Hitler 2.25
Secrets of War 3.00 Home Shopping
STV
As ITV except: 10.35pm Scotland Tonight
11.10 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive (r)
12.10am Teleshopping 1.10 After Midnight
2.40 Storage Hoarders (r) 3.30 ITV
Nightscreen 4.05 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
UTV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Lesser Spotted
Journeys. Clogherhead in County Louth (r)
10.45 A New Order 11.45 Heathrow: Britain?s
Busiest Airport (r) 12.35am Teleshopping
1.35-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Peppa (r) 5.10 Creag nam Buthaidean
(Puf?n Rock) (r) 5.25 Ben & Hoilidh san
Rioghachd Bhig (Ben & Holly?s Little Kingdom)
(r) 5.45 Seonaidh (Shaun the Sheep) (r)
5.55 Donnie Murdo (Danger Mouse) 6.10
Dragonan: Reis chun an iomaill (Dragons: Race
to the Edge) 6.30 D� a-nis? (What Now?)
7.00 Innsean an Iar: Hebrides (r) 7.30
Speaking Our Language (r) 8.00 An L� (News)
8.30 Prosbaig 9.00 Dileab Thormoid (Smile
Please) (r) 10.00 Fonn Fonn Fonn (r) 10.30
Horo Gheallaidh (Celtic Music Sessions) (r)
11.00-12midnight Caileagan a? Chogaidh
Mhoir (A Great Adventure) (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Yr Ysgol (r) 6.15 Chwedlau Tinga
Tinga (r) 6.25 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 6.40
Sam T鈔 (r) 6.50 Nico N鬵 7.00 Deian a Loli a?r
Ffynnon Ddymuno 7.15 Olobobs (r) 7.20 Digbi
Draig (r) 7.35 Gwdihw (r) 7.50 Mwnci?n Dweud
Mwnci?n Gwneud (r) 8.00 Octonots (r) 8.10
Wmff (r) 8.20 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 8.35 Y
Teulu Mawr (r) 8.45 Yn yr Ardd (r) 9.00 Popi?r
Gath (r) 9.10 Stiw (r) 9.20 Ben a Mali a?u Byd
Bach O Hud (r) 9.35 Tomos a?i Ffrindiau (r)
9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r) 10.00 Deian a Loli a?r
Swigod Hud (r) 10.15 Teulu Mewn Bacpac (r)
10.25 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 10.40 Sam
T鈔 (r) 10.50 Nico N鬵 (r) 11.00 Dysgu Gyda
Cyw: Heini (r) 11.15 Dysgu Gyda Cyw:
Rapsgaliwn (r) 11.30 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Darllen
?Da Fi (r) 11.40 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Do Re Mi
Dona (r) 11.55 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Mwnci?n
Dweud Mwnci?n Gwneud (r) 12.00 News S4C
a?r Tywydd 12.05pm Heno (r) 12.30 Caeau
Cymru (r) 1.30 Portmeirion (r) 2.00 News S4C
a?r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C
a?r Tywydd 3.05 Ar y Lein (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr
5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Stwnsh: Y Dyfnfor
5.25 Stwnsh: Ni Di Ni (r) 5.30 Stwnsh: Rhyfel
Mawr Trwy Lygaid Ifanc (r) 6.00 News S4C a?r
Tywydd 6.05 Cwpwrdd Dillad (r) 6.30
Mabinogi-Ogi (r) 7.00 Heno 7.55 Chwedloni
8.00 Pobol y Cwm (AD) 8.25 Ar y Bysus 9.00
News 9 a?r Tywydd 9.30 Parti Bwyd Beca 10.00
Rygbi Pawb 10.45-11.50 Llwyfan (r)
14
1G T
Wednesday November 29 2017 | the times
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7509
2
3
4
5
6
3
7
21
7
8
9
5
12
8
16
13
21
23
15
16
17
5
11
12
1
10
12
16
12
25
19
21
11
3
18
13
1
3
21
12
10
5
14
1
17
17
1
1
12
19
21
10
11
3
20
10
11
10
17
T
14
21
21
6
9
3
6
A
3
25
4
13
1
3
14
26
4
1
19
3
1
10
4
21
21
17
1
24
1
25
12
2
25
25
12
19
11
3
1
1
2
11
14
B
13
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
21
21
S I CK L E
T H
I
S
I NER T HE
F
V U O
F OR E P AW
O
J
AN T I QUA
B
N M
L A Z ED PR
E E
I
I
EN T RA I N
P A N G
S A SH
S
S POT
I
S A
NP ECK
D U
I
O L DEN
O
G
R I AN
R
E EMP T
X
L
H
E POX Y
R A M
TODGE
Down
Wild cat (6)
Violent killer (6)
Anybody at all (6)
Very valuable object (8)
Fans; devotees (8)
Relative social standing (6)
Snake of the boa family (8)
Receipts (8)
Reflexive pronoun (6)
Ball game (6)
Choral work (6)
Hostility (6)
22
21
5
2
1
3
10
23
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
11
12
13
24
25
26
T
L
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday?s solution, right
F
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
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88010 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
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by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
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No 4026
S
O
G
L
G
N
I
N
A
Y
H
S
E
K
O
D
N
I
R
M
U
W
H
A
I
E
N
S
T
U
J
I
E
E
E
T
E
T
E
Calls cost �00 (ROI ?1.50) plus your telephone company?s
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A
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Medium No 4185
Futoshiki No 3053
� 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line ?block?, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
Kakuro No 2012
<
?
<
15
4
16
7
16
25
19
27
16
6
11
>
30
30
10
<
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Lexica
No 4025
What are your favourite
puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
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21
� PUZZLER MEDIA
15 Plant with spiny purple
flower heads (6)
18 Force into an inadequate
space (8)
19 Fourth dimension (4)
20 Section of an army (8)
21 Is afraid of (5)
1
2
3
4
5
6
11
12
14
15
16
17
3
4
20
Solution to Crossword 7508
2
1
3
17
25
Rips; droplets (5)
Date chart (8)
Stage drama (4)
Church musician (8)
Go without food (6)
Constraint, force (6)
Ill-fated flier of myth (6)
6
L
21
4
7
8
9
10
13
14
3
17
19
Across
5
16
17
12
3
1
15
21
11
1
10
1
7
3
18
21
16
3
2
14
3
1
16
11
26
21
11
10
16
Train Tracks No 268
24
6
4
10
16
9
>
>
?
< 3
6
7
17
20
25
10
19
28
8
26
4
13
16
16
23
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
7
13
16
1
<
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
35
19
30
16
16
16
30
13
� PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3193
the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
15
1G T
MindGames
White: Magnus Carlsen
Black: Ding Liren
Champions Showdown Blitz,
St Louis 2017
Ruy Lopez
1 e4 e5 2 Nf3 Nc6 3 Bb5 a6 4 Ba4
Nf6 5 0-0 Be7 6 d3
In the 19th century it was common to defend the white e-pawn
in this fashion. The concept later
fell into relative desuetude. However, the resurgence of the
Marshall Gambit (6 Re1 b5 7 Bb3
0-0 8 c3 d5) as a reliable drawing
weapon has caused grandmasters
to rethink employing a 19thcentury remedy.
6 ... b5 7 Bb3 d6 8 c3 0-0 9 Re1
Na5 10 Bc2 c5 11 Nbd2 Re8 12
Nf1 Nc6 13 Ne3 Bf8 14 a4
White?s pieces are gravitating
towards the kingside but a virtue
of the Ruy Lopez is that it allows
White to operate on both wings.
Now 14 ... Rb8 15 axb5 axb5 leaves
White in full control of the open
a-file, a stratagem often seen in
the games of Alexander Alekhine.
________
� 4bD gkD]
郉nD Dr0 ]
遬1 0 D 0]
轉 0P0 D ]
軧0PDN0 D]
蹹 DPD D ]
� ) G )P)]
�$ DQ$ I ]
谅媚牌侨
An incautious blunder that
permits a spectacular invasion of
his position. It would be better to
play 24 ... a5, lending protection to
Black?s extra a-pawn.
25 Be8 Re7 26 Qh5 Bf5 27 Qxf5
Rbxe8 28 Qg6 Kh8 29 g3
The threats to open up Black?s
paralysed king?s flank are now
overwhelming. Black struggles, but
to no avail.
29 ... Na5 30 Nxd6 Kg8 31 Rxa5
Rd8 32 Rea1 Rxd6 33 Qe4 Qb7
34 Rxc5 Rf7 35 Rc6 Rxc6 36
dxc6 Qb6 37 gxf4 Bc5 38 Kh1
Bd4 39 fxe5 Rxf2 40 Bf4 Bxb2 41
Be3 Qb8 42 Rg1 Rf8 43 d4 Black
resigns
________
醨DbDkD 4] Winning Move
�D DpD ]
� DPD DpD] Black to play. This position is from
online game, chess.com 2017.
轉 D D D ] Hou-Caruana,
Black is behind on material but this is
� D gpD D] irrelevant as the white kingside has been
蹹 D H 1 ] shredded. How did Black now reorganise
跴) !PDBD] his forces and finish off?
�$ DNDRI ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
谅媚牌侨 my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
?KQ 4 3 2
?A J 9 6
?6
?A 2
?A J 7 6 5
?K 10 8 7
?A4
East discards a spade at trick
one ? so West began with three
hearts and East zero: that is complete information. You draw two
more rounds of trumps then, seeking more information before you
guess the location of ?Q, you cash
?A, cross to ?K and ruff ?9.
On the third spade, West discards
(a club) ? more complete information: East began with six spades and
West two. You play ?A and ruff ?4,
both following but, because no one
has shown out of clubs, there is no
complete information there.
MEDIUM
HARDER
20
99
?8
1/4
OF IT
1
+ 185 +OF/IT4 x 2
+8
x2
�
+6
90%
OF IT
? 74 + 1/5 + 92
80%
OF IT
+ 78
+ 983
7/8
OF IT
?9
OF IT
x 6 + 98 x 5 ? 876 + 1/2 ? 975
196
OF IT
50%
OF IT
Let?s review: West began with
two spades and three hearts so has
eight vacant spaces. East began
with six spades and no hearts so
has seven vacant spaces. The odds
are a slender 8:7 that West has
?Q. That?s all you?ve got to go on
and in the long run you?ll be quids
in. Cash ?K and run ?10.
Killer Tricky No 5744
12
27
16
15min
21
9
14
23
9
?8 6 5
?9 7 6 5
?Q 10
N
W
E
S
?8 6
5
8
11
7
14
20
3
25
15
18
20
4
10
20
18
15
Killer Deadly No 5745
21
17
55min
12
22
18
6
30
6
19
13
? Q 10 7 4 3
S
W
N
E
1NT
Pass
2NT(1)
Pass
3NT
End
(1) Highly dubious to invite with such a flat,
broken-honour, intermediate-free 11-count.
West leads ?2 and you fly with
?K, mercifully holding the trick.
You need a third heart trick but,
with a two-way finesse, first cash
four rounds of diamonds to glean
more information. Interestingly,
East turns up with just one diamond
(discarding a heart and two clubs).
West led ?2, so has just four
spades (assuming ?2 is his fourth
highest). He began with four spades
and four diamonds, leaving five
vacant spaces. East began with five
spades and one diamond, leaving
seven vacant spaces. It?s odds on
(7:5) to play East for ?Q, so you
cash ?K, then lead ?2 to ?10.
Phew! andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
9
=
19
8 2 4 7
9
9 4 8 6
7
3 1
9 7
4
6 8 9 4
6
2 4
3
5 9
3 1
5 6 7 9 8 2
1 2 4
7 9
3 1 2 8
4 1
3 1 9
6 8
6
4
9
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F
P
QU I RK
C O
T HUD
S
D I S T A
A
E
E X C
S
T
UNABA
I
O
AD J O I
E
K
6
8 3
9 1
7
5
7
1 3
2 8
4 9
1
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9
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2
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3
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1
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9
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8
7
1
2
3
9
5
6
3
23
14
3
9
5
8
6
1
7
2
4
4
8
2
3
7
9
5
1
6
8
6
2
5
7
9
1
3
4
1
3
7
4
2
6
8
5
9
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
1
7
6
5
4
2
3
9
8
5
1
7
4
8
6
9
3
2
4
2 6
9
4
5
3
8
1
6
2
7
7
9
3
8
6
5
4
1
2
3
6
2
3
9
1
5
4
8
7
7
5
1
6
3
8
2
4
9
2
6
9
1
5
4
8
7
3
8
3
4
2
9
7
1
6
5
5
2
4
1
3
7
9
8
6
6
8
1
2
9
4
5
7
3
2
7
9
6
5
8
3
4
1
3
1
8
9
4
2
7
6
5
4
5
6
7
1
3
2
9
8
5 4
4
5
2
1
3
4
5
2 > 1
6
3 3
+
6
4
2
4
3
x
+
+
+
2
5
2
9
5
x
-
+
-
5
1
6
8
4
7
9
2
3
9
3
7
6
1
2
4
5
8
4
8
2
3
5
9
1
7
6
8
9
3
2
7
4
6
1
5
6
7
1
5
9
8
2
3
4
2
5
4
1
6
3
8
9
7
1
2
5
4
3
6
7
8
9
7
4
8
9
2
5
3
6
1
3
6
9
7
8
1
5
4
2
B
I
K
C
L
G
I
L
E
O
D
L
A
P
I
E
O
E
U
G
A
S
Lexica 4024
Set Square 2014
7
Suko 2094
Lexica 4023
2
1 < 3
?
3 < 4 < 5
?
1 < 3
4
+
V
Z E D
R
E V E
E
L
G
T L Y
O
EWN
I
I N E
G
Sudoku 9486
9
4
8
7
2
3
6
5
1
Futoshiki 3052
3
2
T
A
C
I
T
U
R
E L L E N
X
O
T E D
S
E
G N
N
EQU
D
R
B
Killer 5743
13
2
3
Train Tracks 267
B
J
Y
AM
P
N
AGGR
S
L
S T E F
Sudoku 9485
1
3
5
9
8
7
6
4
2
KenKen 4184
24
13
=
8
Codeword 3192
Kakuro 2011
Cell Blocks 3075
22
x
x
=
3
2
?
4
6
x
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
out their
= 36 work
positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
= 336 works? We?ve
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
17
21
-
+
1
22
= 10 from 1-9 are
+
5
21
All the digits
+
x
?Q 9 7 4
?4
?K J 9
Contract: 3NT ? A 10 3
?AQ 10 2
Lead: ? 2
?A 7 6 4
3
-
Killer 5742
12
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Solutions
6
9
1
2
7
4
3
8
5
13
+
x
Sudoku 9484
21
2
2
2 4
+
9
7
2
6
8
10
17
4
4
4
4
Yesterday?s answers
let, loot, looter, lot, lotto, otter, otto,
ret, retool, root, rootle, rootlet, rot,
rote, toe, too, tool, tooler, toot, tooter,
tootle, tor, tore, toro, tort, torte, tot,
tote, tret, trot
7
6
2
From these letters, make words of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 10 words, average;
14, good; 17, very good; 21, excellent
?K 5
?A J 9 2
3
3
4 5
Set Square No 2015
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
?K J 2
?K J 8 3
?8 5 3 2
x4
Polygon
19
Bridge Andrew Robson
Counting and Card Placement
34 - Vacant Spaces
Say West opened 3? and you end
up in 4?. You and dummy have five
hearts between you. That means
East has just one heart. Considering
the remainder of West?s hand, he
has six non-hearts; East has 12 nonhearts. East is 12:6 (ie 2:1) favourite
to have any specific outside card eg
?Q. East has 12 ?vacant spaces? to
West?s six ?vacant spaces?.
Thinking in terms of vacant
spaces can tilt the odds very much
in your favour when guessing the
location of a crucial missing honour. Note, when considering the
shapes of the opposing hands, you
should take into account only suit
lengths that are completely known.
Take this 7? on ?10 lead
?K 9 3
EASY
x3
� PUZZLER MEDIA
Today I conclude my coverage of
the epic clash between world
champion Magnus Carlsen and
the leading Chinese grandmaster
Ding Liren, which took place in St
Louis earlier this month. The final
score was 67-25 in favour of Carlsen. This unusual final score was
made up of varying different
scoring systems for games played
at very rapid time controls.
In the game that follows, the
world champion triumphs by
relying on the time-honoured
precept of massive centralisation.
14 ... b4 15 Nd5 h6 16 a5
A new move that both enlivens
the perspective of White?s bishop
on c2 by allowing it to come to a4
and also distracts Black?s pieces
from the main central battleground by luring the black
queen?s knight back to a5. If now
16 ... Nxa5 17 Nxf6+, when 17 ...
gxf6 is forced and Black?s kingside
becomes totally ruined.
16 ... Nxd5 17 exd5 Nxa5 18 Ba4
Re7 19 Nd2 Rb8 20 c4 Nb7 21
Ne4 f5 22 Ng3 f4
22 ... g6 is worth consideration.
23 Ne4 Rf7 24 Bd2 Qb6
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Epic match
Cell Blocks No 3076
Brain Trainer
� PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1
+
+
8
Quiz 1 Hayley Atwell 2 Thor 3 David Cassidy
4 Battle of Fontenoy ? where his forces defeated
the Pragmatic Allies (the Dutch Republic, Great
Britain, Hanover and the Holy Roman Empire)
during the War of Austrian Succession 5 Liaqat
Ali Khan 6 Margaret Beckett 7 Oscar Wilde
8 Moscow 9 Virginia Woolf 10 Steve Reich
11 The Wu-Tang Clan 12 Hans Danuser 13 Wim
Kok 14 Tich Freeman. He dismissed 304 batsman
in 1928 15 Don DeLillo
J
A
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X
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M
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P
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E
B
O
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R
B
R
I
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D
Y
T
G
E
Word watch
Bhishti (c) A water carrier
Laich (b) Low-lying
(of land)
Litchi (c) A spindly
Chinese tree
Brain Trainer
Easy 68; Medium 694;
Harder 4,039
Chess 1 ... Be5! plans
2 ... Qh2+ 3 Kf2 Bg3
mate and White has no
defence, eg, 2 Rf2 Rh1+!
3 Kxh1 Qh2 mate
29.11.17
MindGames
Sudoku
Difficult No 9487
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Fiendish No 9488
9
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
5
7 4
8 3
1
7
6
1
3
4
9
8
8
6
4
2
4
Bhishti
a Warlike
b A tunic
c A water carrier
6
Laich
a Relaxed
b Low-lying
c Affectionate
Litchi
a Flighty
b Irritable
c A tree
9
3 1
6 3
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
Answers on page 15
6
2
PUZZLER MEDIA
8
5
Super fiendish No 9489
3
1 9
2
9 2 7
3
6
6 7
2
8 3 1
3 5
12 A series of 93
black-and-white
photographs, In Vivo
(1980-89) was the first
major work by which
Swiss artist?
15
6 Since 1983, who has
been the Labour MP
for Derby South?
7 In 1894, who came
up with the idea for
what became the play
Mr and Mrs Daventry
(1900) by Frank Harris?
8 Butyrka prison
is located in the
Tverskoy district of
which capital city?
3
4
8
9
11
12
9 Which English
writer?s final novel,
Between the Acts
(1941), was published
shortly after her death?
10 Which American
composer used the
titular free-reed
instrument in his 1966
piece Melodica?
11 Which US rap group?s
members include GZA,
5
22
6
7
14
15
20
3 5
8
9
4
6
5 8
5
7
13 Which Labour
Party (PvdA) politician
was prime minister of
the Netherlands from
1994 to 2002?
Yesterday?s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 971
14 Which Kent legspinner (1888-1965) is
the only man to take
300 wickets in a season?
15 Which American
writer (b 1936)
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
16
18
19
21
23
S
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A L E
A
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E A S HO
M O
N A NU T
S
A L L E Y
A
A
MA R K
B
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X I L E
N
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I GH T E
I R F OR
M
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OA S
P
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W A
S H E L L
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S P H E
S
O
M YWO R
O
E
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C A R T O
K
N
B E
S T
C E
R
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E
S
R E
A
D S
O
ON
E
A D
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
by Orpheus
10
13
17
7
6 1 3
2
7
4 1
The Times MindGames: Word
Puzzles & Conundrums and
Number & Logic Puzzles are
out now. To order copies visit
timesbooks.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
Raekwon, Ghostface
Killah and Method Man?
The Times Quick Cryptic No 972
2
6 1
7 8
8
2
by Olav Bjortomt Times MindGames books
2 Mjolnir is the hammer
of which Norse god?
1
6
to receive four clues for any of today?s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company?s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
1 Who plays Margaret
Schlegel in the 2017
BBC adaptation of
Howards End?
5 In 1951, which
first prime minister
of Pakistan was
assassinated at a
Rawalpindi rally by
Said Akbar?
6
3
8
4
GETTY IMAGES
4 Which May 11, 1745
battle was the most
famous victory of the
French marshal Maurice,
Comte de Saxe?
7 1
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
The Times Daily Quiz
3 Which star of The
Partridge Family had
a 1972 No 1 with How
Can I Be Sure?
4
Across
1 Do farm work quietly by Irish
lake (6)
4 Ornamental tuft two little
dogs displayed (6)
8 Chose to imbibe last of alcohol,
getting drunk (7)
10 Prickly shrub obtainable from
heath or nursery (5)
11 District accommodating new
stadium (5)
12 Introduction to play ? ?nal
part imminent (7)
13 Seminars involving Egyptian
boy king, one entering exams
(9)
17 Bird taking water in French
country house (7)
19 Arrive at stretch of river (5)
20 Greek character fencing in
horned mammal (5)
21 Joy English originally outlined
in ancient language (7)
22 Campanologist?s double? (6)
23 Upset, say, get theatrical (6)
Down
1 Union leader leaves well-liked
part of London (6)
2 Terrible chore initially
required in base ? 15?s job?
(13)
3 Chivalrous Liberal worker
supporting young woman (7)
5 Newspaper editor originally
employed in cricket side
frequently (5)
6 Academic is rushing to
secure start of this business
arrangement (6-7)
7 Maiden takes a long time to
cope (6)
9 Withdrawal of trade? Pure
rubbish! (9)
14 Wild bears in a forest at last,
side by side (7)
15 Person who may register
twenty runs? (6)
16 Reason pub accepted noise
made by horse (6)
18 Call up woman protecting old
king (5)
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9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
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The First Time with Mick Jones 2.00 The
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6 Music?s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
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Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00 The Full
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the times | Wednesday November 29 2017
11
1G T
ROBERT WORKMAN
artsfirst night
Pop
Phil Collins
Royal Albert Hall
Concert
LSO/Pappano
Barbican
O
I
{{{{(
{{{((
f all the rediscoveries in
rock and pop, Phil Collins
must be t
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