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The Times Times 2 - 30 March 2018

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March 30 | 2018
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YoatuBritish quiz shows by James Graham
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Plus, the ultimate quiz about TV quizzes
2
1G T
Friday March 30 2018 | the times
times2
to-do list this week, CW turned
d
to Twitter to inquire what we
should dub it. Many pointed
out that “Boaty McBoatface” is
still up for grabs. The musician
Mike Finlay surmised:
“Spreads horrible, damaging,
hard-to-destroy things from
place to place? Facebook.” And
pretty much everyone else
suggested “the PiersM organ”.
While everyone battles it out,
CW can at least supply its theme
tune: inspired by Bananarama, it
should be I Heard a Tumour.
Caitlin
Moran
Celebrity Watch
10
UP
Tom
Hardy
CW is a longtime fan of
Tom Hardy
— it has a picture
re off the
th actor saved to
its desktop, from his MySpace profile,
Christmas 2008, in which he is putting
a turkey in the oven while doing gunfingers at the camera, captioned “I’m
cooking a turkey, yo” — so likes to
keep an eye on his new projects.
But the latest one caused it some
confusion. “First look at Tom Hardy as
Al Capone in the forthcoming Fonzo,”
the headlines promised, over a picture
of Hardy dressed as the gangster.
Now CW doesn’t want to tell film
directors how to do their jobs. It’s all
for a maverick idea. But it just can’t
see how you can crowbar Al Capone
into a movie about Arthur Herbert
Fonzarelli, aka the Fonz from Happy
Days. It doesn’t believe that you could
run a crime syndicate from a room
above the Cunninghams’ garage,
although it does see how Fonzie’s
catchphrase of “sit on it” could be
menacing, if said by a man with a gun.
th few benefits of being dead but
the
there’s every chance that “dead, yet
th
hot” may become a thing, given how
h
many trends Kardashian has started,
m
from “having a bum” to “having a
fr
mouth that looks like a bum”.
m
8
UP
Steps
Steps, the band who married a cover
version of Tragedy with “miming the
polishing of a halo head-brace” to such
successful ends, are reforming one last
time for a “Summer of Steps” tour.
As a rock critic at the age of 16, CW
thought it knew every gig venue in the
UK, but Steps’ tour includes places that
it has never, ever heard of, including
“Llanelli Parc Y Scarlets”, “Canterbury
the Spitfire Ground”, “Near Chester
Bolesworth Castle”, “Ardingly South of
England Event Centre” and “Coventry
Butts Park Arena”.
At first CW panicked, worrying that
there is a network of venues that it
had never come across. Now, however,
it realises that the tour is almost
certainly an early April Fool’s joke —
because all the “venues” are, quite
clearly, euphemisms for lady-parts.
9
UP
Meghan Markle
As the royal wedding approaches,
Prince Harry’s fiancée, Meghan
Markle, is apparently missing
many aspects of “civilian life”
— the primary one being
social media. Since her
engagement was announced
Markle has had to close down
her lifestyle website, The Tig,
her Twitter feed and her
Instagram account.
“She’s having withdrawal
symptoms from the online
community,” a “source” told New!
Ever keen to help Markle, whom
it admires greatly, CW feels it
can offer her an almost identical
experience to being back in “the
online community” without once
troubling her bandwidth. It will
pop round to her house and shout,
“SLAG! WHORE! SNOWFLAKE
SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR
BITCH CRYING LIBTARD TEARS!”
through her letterbox all morning,
then in the afternoon ring on her
doorbell and show her a gif of a
kitten falling off a radiator.
5
UP
Kim
Kardashian
Something to be alert
to: Kim Kardashian
has put a clause in her
will stipulating her
“deathbed look”.
She explained that
“if I am so out of it
that I can’t even
communicate and
I’m, like, shitting on
myself, I definitely
need my hair,
my nails and my
make-up done.
I want to look as
good as possible.”
CW believed
that being able
to dispense
with having to
remove your
lady-moustache with
h
Sellotape in the
toilets or touching
up your roots with a
black marker pen on
the bus was one of
6
DOWN
Victoria
Beckham
7
UP
New organ
As a part-time nerd and full-time
hypochondriac, CW was thrilled
to read in the latest New Scientist
that
researchers at New York
t
University’s
School of Medicine
U
may have discovered a whole new
organ in the human body!
However, this exciting piece of
news
quickly turned dark when it
n
turned
out that this new “organ” —
tu
a network of “funnels” connecting
all our tissues — seems to be the
way that cancer spreads. So it’s a bad
organ. And it has yet to be named.
Since naming this organ is, clearly,
absolutely at the top of humanity’s
CW is glad that we are living in an era
when the plumbing misfortunes of the
rich and famous are rigorously relayed
to us via a panoply of media. For what
a waste it would have been if we had
not been alerted, via The Sun, Metro
and 6,000 social media accounts, that
this was the week when David and
Victoria Beckham’s cesspit overflowed,
flooding the grounds of their
Oxfordshire mansion with sewage.
“Victoria got into a right stink about
this,” a “friend” told New! (Because
everyone has a close friend who will
happily talk about your broken
plop-tank to the media.) “It looks
like they completely underestimated
the output and the whole waste
disposal system is failing.”
Far be it from CW to make a
suggestion that could have long-term
ramifications, but if this problem does
rumble on for a while it feels as
though this is the kind of country
that could forget about “Posh Spice”
and adapt the nickname “Poo Spice”
quite easily.
4
UP
Jilly Cooper
Until now, CW had been under the
impression that the person most
like themselves, all of the time, was
EastEnders’ professional cockney
geezer Danny Dyer. As anyone who
remembers his tweet about the 9/11
anniversary — “Can’t believe it’s
been nearly ten years since them
slags smashed into the Twin Towers.
It still freaks my nut out to this day”
— can attest, Dyer is 100 per cent
Dyer, 100 per cent of the time.
However, it seems, there is a new
rival for his crown: bonkbuster
royalty Jilly Cooper. Anyone familiar
with her oeuvre — and, frankly, CW
judges severely anyone who is not —
will have been delighted to read the
account in Hello! of her recent
awarding of a CBE by Prince William.
“He was totally charming,” Cooper
said. “He’s very good-looking — even
better in the flesh. When he said,
‘Hello, well done, Jilly,’ I went all
pink,” she added. “When I had to
curtsy I cocked it up. I reeled and
nearly fell over. Luckily a nice air
force man — there were lots of
heavenly men in uniform —
caught my arm, and
the audience giggled.”
CW hopes that
there will be a
damehood for
Jilly
very soon. Orr
J
a duchess-hood.
CW feels that
Britain would
be a greater
country if we
had a Duchess
of Bonkshire.
3
DOWN
Kanye West
Husbands across the world let out
a sympathetic sigh on hearing that
Kanye West, the husband of Kim
Kardashian, has been roped into a
“marriage boot camp” by his wife.
According to Heat, the boot camp
consists of relocating to a remote cabin
where they can get away from their
children, turn off all electronic devices
and consult a “love doctor” for therapy.
CW is pretty sure that all of this is
costing thousands of dollars a day —
“spending huge amounts of money”
is the West-Kardashian way.
CW just wants to let the
couple know that if they
want to replicate this on
a budget they can book
a caravan in Wales in a
valley that has no 4G,
and the Welsh nana in
the caravan shop will
give them hours of nononsense advice about
marriage (“never go to
bed angry, bleach your net
curtains once a week, and
get the kids to cook you
oven chips and a pie while
you chill out watching Location,
i
Location, Location”) for nothing.
the times | Friday March 30 2018
3
1G T
times2
2
UP
The Prince
of Wales
1
UP
Donald Trump
Although it was never formally put
into actual words, or ever written
down anywhere, CW believed that, as
the US election drew near, the world
made a deal with Donald Trump that
was absolutely crystal clear.
“OK,” the world said. “We can see
where this is heading. So, how about
this: we will, however ill-advised it
seems, let you become leader of the
free world — but on one, utterly vital
condition. You never, ever make us
imagine you banging a blonde you
just met at a party, then saying she
reminds you of your daughter Ivanka.
That’s all you have to do. Just that one
thing! If you promise that you’ll never
do that, congratulations! You’re the
president! Enjoy!”
This week, barely a year into his
presidency, Trump broke that promise
— not just once, but twice, if the
allegations levelled against him
prove to be true.
On Thursday last week the Playboy
model Karen McDougal alleged that
she had a ten-month affair with
Trump, during which he compared
her favourably to Ivanka. “He said
I was beautiful, like her,” she said.
Then on Sunday the porn star
Stormy Daniels gave an interview in
which she also claimed that Trump
had compared her favourably to
Ivanka. “Wow, you are special. You
remind me of my daughter,” Trump
apparently told her.
For those not already
crouching in the foetal
position with their
jumpers over their
heads, murmuring,
“This is wrong, Dave,
this is wrong,” over
and over again, like
HAL losing
its mind
in 2001:
A Space
Odyssey,
here’s an
added
mindbomb:
the touching Ivanka quote came just
after Trump had pulled his trousers
down and Daniels had beaten him on
the bottom with a magazine with The
Donald on the cover. Mmmm. What
a heartwarming family story.
CW’s going to be frank. The above
stories put it in an awkward position,
mind-wise. If the stories turn out to be
true, then this could well be the end
of the Trump presidency. This would
allow CW to halt its purchase of a
remote smallholding in Wales — ideal
for sitting out a nuclear apocalypse —
and allow it to spend the money on
underfloor heating and a wine fridge
instead. So that would be good.
On the other hand, if the allegations
are proved to be false, then all talk
of Trump’s embangenings will cease
immediately, and just in the nick of
time, for Stormy Daniels has claimed:
“I can describe [Trump’s] genitalia” —
a sentence that hangs like a
threatening cloud across all our
horizons. If this story continues, a
vivid chronicling of Trump’s Bennie
and the Jets could dominate every
media outlet in the world.
Think about that, for a minute.
Think about living through a period
in history where a porn star draws a
vivid word-picture of the president’s
Torvill and Deans, and the president
responds, furiously, on Twitter,
describing Daniels’s breasts as
“NOT AS GOOD AS IVANKA’S,
ACTUALLY — I LIED”. Because we
know he would.
If Trump’s presidency really is the
result of Russian interference, then
Vladimir Putin is surely eligible for
the Guinness World Records entry for
“most people psychologically pained
and tortured at one time”.
The hot list
What to do this weekend
Film
Isle of Dogs
Don’t let the fluffy faces fool you.
Although Wes Anderson’s
animation does deliver talking
dogs and cute scenarios, (cue
Scarlett Johansson as Nutmeg, a
poodle/King Charles cross who
ROYAL COLLECTION TRUST/© HER
MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH II 2018
As the impact of Rebel Prince:
The Power, Passion and
Defiance of Prince Charles
continues to be felt — not
least for anyone who needs to
utter the whole title out loud
— one detail rises above all
others. It’s not that the
Queen allegedly
hates Camilla, nor
that Charles once
screamed when
he saw clingfilm.
No. It’s the
cataloguing of the
prince’s lifestyle,
including carrying
his own pre-mixed
martinis to parties, bringing his own
mattress, loo seat, toilet paper and
“two landscapes of the Scottish
Highlands” when staying at friends’
houses and once spending £18,916 to
go for a pint in Cumbria. The Daily
Mail dubbed him “the pampered,
petulant prince”, whereas The
Guardian called him, in a Guardian-y
way, “a capricious spendthrift”.
The problem is that neither
paper seems to have the sense of
perspective, pamperment-wise,
that knowing about Mariah
Carey’s life would offer. Carey
C
sspends $100,000 a month having
flowers delivered, has a
$10 million diamond ring,
works out in heels and
a tiara, owns Marilyn
Monroe’s $600,000
white baby grand piano
and has her legs
insured for $1 billion.
And she’s not going
A
tto be the king one
day. She’s just being
d
Mariah Carey.
juggles flaming skittles
with her paws), but it’s
also bleak and unsettling,
a dazzling family movie
with the darkest of hearts.
See review, page 8.
On general release
Visual art
Queen Victoria in Paris
A selection of 51 watercolours,
on loan from the Royal
Collection, that were painted
to mark the state visit to Paris
(and subsequent thawing in
relations, frosty since Waterloo)
made by Queen Victoria,
her husband, Albert, and their
two eldest children in 1855.
Bowes Museum, Co Durham
(01833 690606), today,
tomorrow, Sunday
Dance
Cinderella
Matthew Bourne’s production
transplants Prokofiev’s fairytale
ballet to London during the
Blitz, where Cinders (Ashley
Shaw) falls in love with an
RAF pilot (Andrew Monaghan)
as bombs are falling. As always
with Bourne, the humour
is spiced with pathos.
Mayflower, Southampton
(023 8071 1811), today, tomorrow
Opera
Macbeth
A great cast and Antonio
Pappano’s peerless conducting
galvanise this enthralling
production of Verdi’s dark
Shakespearean opera
Theatre
Songs for Nobodies
Bernadette Robinson, right,
dazzles in this one-woman play
with (fantastic) songs that
features young “nobodies” who
and make it unmissable. Anna
Netrebko, left, is Lady Macbeth.
Royal Opera House, London WC2
(020 7304 4000), tomorrow
meet Judy Garland, Patsy
Cline, Édith Piaf and Billie
Holiday.Wilton’s Music Hall,
London E1 (020 7702 2789),
tonight, tomorrow
Pop
George Ezra
The chirpiest of the latest crop
of earnest singer-songwriters,
Ezra captured the spirit of the
gap year on his debut album,
Wanted On Voyage, and returns
for more on his new album,
Staying at Tamara’s.
Usher Hall, Edinburgh
(0131 228 8616), tomorrow
Comedy
Mo Gilligan: Coupla Cans
The actor, comic and social
media star also known
as Mo the Comedian gets
stuck into a 22-date run
here as part of his first big tour.
Leicester Square Theatre, London
WC2 (020 7734 2222), today,
tomorrow
In Saturday Review tomorrow
The story behind the remaking of the
weekend’s Agatha Christie drama
Saturday March 31 2018
7-DAY
TV & RADIO
GUIDE
page 23
Wot no lilies?
Monet’s love affair
with buildings (and
not a flower in sight)
Whodunnit?
The remaking of this
weekend’s Agatha
Christie drama
art books theatre film music
television what’s on puzzles
4
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Friday March 30 2018 | the times
cover story
Why the British love quizzes —
COVER AND BELOW: REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; PRESS ASSOCIATION; REUTERS; ALAMY; GETTY IMAGES; JOHAN PERSSON
The playwright James Graham explains
how his love of quizzes led him to write
a play about the ‘coughing major’ from
Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
I
am 14 years old and about to
embarrass myself doing
something I love, badly. My
comprehensive school is raising
money for Children in Need and
one of the dreamt-up events
is a quiz show format in front of
the morning assembly. We aped
the classic studio set-up inherited from
the long line of game shows embedded
in our shared cultural consciousness:
Call My Bluff; Have I Got News for You;
Give Us a Clue. Two panels of
contestants either side of a “host” in
the middle, facing an audience of
several hundred. I had been picked by
some infinitely cooler kids as
someone in a lot of the top
sets at school and assumed
med
to be above-average in
the head. And here I
was, among the sports
captains and popular
children, showboating
in front of the school.
Except something
wasn’t right. Namely
— my answers.
Twenty years on I’m
still haunted by the memory
mory
of the teacher, card in his hand,
turning to me when it came
ame to my go
and asking the question: “If a traffic
light is showing amber and red, what
will the next light in the sequence be?”
I heard the answer in my head.
“Green.” Then something shifted in my
brain. Something the question setters I
have been interviewing recently
suggest is the classic pub quiz pothole
— the assumption that the first answer
to enter your head cannot be right.
The collapse of faith in oneself. And
out came the word: “Red.”
A mocking murmur from the
audience; an eye-roll from my team;
the deep disappointment on the face
of the teacher. Yet, despite this
youthful trauma, I have never quite
been able to stop watching, loving and
obsessing about game shows and
quizzes, and it seems as though, in
Britain at least, I am not alone.
As traditions go, the British pub quiz
is a relatively young one, only kicking
off as a popular pastime in the 1990s.
TV game shows had begun to leave
the questions behind in favour of more
action-packed adventures, such as The
Crystal Maze or Survivor. It was Who
Wants to Be a Millionaire? — 20 years
old and almost revolutionary in its
simplicity — that tapped back into the
dormant, but deep desire to answer
questions under pressure for prizes.
Tens of millions tuned in, pub slot
machines were replaced with
computer-game versions of the show
and by the turn of the millennium the
pub quiz had become enough of a
cultural phenomenon for the Institute
of Psychiatry at London University to
investigate what the hell was going on.
It found that at the pub table, round
the family board game and in front of
the telly we were a nation that loved
to quiz, with one in ten of us even
considering it an addiction.
Indeed, it was this growing
obsession, which took hold in an
unlikely community of well-to-do,
middle-class towns and villages of
rural England, that led to the creation
of an underground network of
quizzers, utterly obsessed by getting on
to Millionaire — the holy grail of game
shows, with the biggest prize in
history. Out of this came one of the
most remarkable events in British
television, and the subject of my new
play, Quiz, which transfers to the West
End this week after running in
Chichester
Chicheste last year. It
concerns
the so-called
conce
coughing
major and his
coug
attempt to steal a
att
million
pounds from
m
the most successful
th
game
show of all.
g
As evidenced in
Bob Woffinden and
B
James Plaskett’s recent
Ja
book Bad Show, long
boo
before
befor Charles Ingram
was put on trial in 2003
with his accused
co-conspirators
acc
(his wife,
wife Diana,
Diana and
a the lecturer
Tecwen Whittock, who was accused of
coughing over the right answers when
the major listed the choices), fans of
the programme would meet, share
notes and swap tips on how to get
selected and what to do once you were
there. Loopholes and vulnerabilities
were spotted in the phone lines and
the optimum times to call were
decoded. A “syndicate” began offering
its services to be with potential
contestants when the callbacks came
to ask them a closest-to question over
the phone to get on the show.
Hence the producers’ growing
concern that the same sort of people
— often white, male and middle class
— kept appearing in the fastest-fingerfirst seats. One of these was a certain
Adrian Pollock, a lover of the show
who appeared four times in quick
succession before his go in the hot
seat. Pollock, a winner of £32,000, is
the brother of Diana Ingram.
As well as re-enacting some classic
game shows on stage, our play
portrays the behind-the-scenes story
of this incredible case, doing what the
show always did: “asking the audience”
whether or not they think the accused
are innocent or guilty, with evidence
that supports both sides. However, I
also more generally wanted to explore
the power and importance of a
cultural pursuit that was such a big
part of my life when I was growing up.
The invention of the quiz show was
greeted with moral scepticism during
the Second World War, and not a little
bit of class snobbery to boot. In the
1940s BBC Radio had dabbled in new
levels of participation with its listeners
in one of its earliest incarnations,
Charles Ingram in
2001 on Who Wants to
Be a Millionaire? and,
below, the recreation
in Quiz by James
Graham, left (in 1998)
Quiz is at the Noël
Coward Theatre,
London WC2
(0844 4825120), from
tomorrow to June 16
Merry-Go-Round. It broke the first
quiz show taboo by offering
contestants half a crown for a right
answer, and Pandora’s prize box was
opened for good.
The arrival of commercial television
in 1955 brought ITV, a new channel
not bound by the BBC’s remit of
educating as well as entertaining. This
was unapologetic, populist workingclass entertainment for a workingclass audience. Take Your Pick is one of
the longest survivors (who didn’t play
the “yes/no” game in school?). Double
Your Money had the prize funds creep
up to £1,000. This was followed by
plenty of hand-wringing in parliament
over the moral decline of the frugal
and reserved nation we once were,
with Lord Taylor arguing in a 1959
debate that the advent of game shows
was “socially unhealthy”.
In the 1960s and 1970s the shows
became more aspirational, beginning
with Sale of the Century, then moving
on to the consumerism of the more
affluent 1980s with The Price is Right,
a razzle-dazzle affair offering fridges,
weekends abroad and patio sets. In the
moodier 1990s these were replaced by
more ironic, self-referential game
shows for the “whatever” generation,
such as Shooting Stars and Don’t Forget
Your Toothbrush. By the 2000s prizes
such as a speedboat — the joke once
being about Bullseye’s seemingly
obsessive desire to hand out boats to
contestants in land-locked Tamworth
— were less desirable than the true
prize of the 21st century: global fame,
even if there were only 15 minutes of it,
with the arrival of reality game shows
such as Big Brother and The X Factor.
Yet the simple question-and-answer
show has persisted. Objective facts and
discernible truths pepper the most
popular shows today, including
Pointless and Only Connect, considered
by some as the ultimate quizzers’ quiz.
Jennifer Stephenson, a friend of mine
from university, is a series producer of
game shows who worked on The Chase,
that other venerable afternoon delight.
Far from rejecting the old-fashioned
question, The Chase has more
questions per minute than almost any
other game show. (Incidentally, when I
was a struggling writer, Jenny got me
temp work as a “fake contestant” on
shows in development. I had to walk
through the format and spot flaws. I
the times | Friday March 30 2018
5
1G T
cover story
and why they make great drama
middle or bottom as they edged their
way across the set. The nail-biting
horror of watching the cliffhanger
game on The Price is Right as the little
model mountain climber yodelled
his way to the cliff edge before
plummeting over the side if the
item’s price were overestimated.
High drama indeed, and I’m not
kidding. In fact, The Price is Right was
such a favourite of ours that my dad,
normally a quietly respectable civil
servant for Nottingham city council,
found his way into the audience at the
nearby Carlton Studios on Lenton
Lane. For us, growing up in a postindustrial part of the world, Carlton
Studios was a small island of glamour
where many iconic shows of the
period, such as Catchphrase and
Bullseye, were recorded, at a time when
ITV was regional. Along with 25 work
colleagues, something overtook my
dad and he was applauding and
screaming along with the crowd,
hoping to be picked to “come on down”.
That phrase has entered the popular
lexicon like many others, despite the
The best quiz
questions take
you on a journey.
They tell a story
fake-won the top prize on Ant and
Dec’s Pokerface and am still waiting
for the cheque.)
Of course, your favourites will be
different from mine. In our house we
were less on the University Challenge
or Mastermind end of the spectrum
than the more populist. I have fond
memories of being off sick from school
and staying at the house of my
grandma, a formidable former dinner
lady who would sit in her throne and
cycle through the daytime schedules
with me. Our favourite was Going For
Gold, with the genial Henry Kelly, a
catchy theme song (written, trivia fans
take note, by the future Oscar-winning
composer Hans Zimmer) and an
international mix of contestants from
different European countries, pushing
their plungers.
Instead of hanging out in the park
with my mates on a Saturday night I
was dragged to my grandparents’ —
which suited the shy teenager I was
just fine. We would gather round the
TV with hot Ribena, shouting out
items we had remembered from the
conveyor belt on The Generation Game
or laughing hard at John Virgo’s trick
shots in Big Break. Such was our
appetite for the latter that our dad
installed a snooker table, which took
up a quarter of the lounge in our twoup, two-down, so we could invent
some trick shots ourselves.
I recall the nerve-racking tension of
Strike It Lucky as contestants tried to
avoid the “hot spot” when picking top,
seemingly innocuous nature of these
shows. “Fingers on buzzers”; “Your
starter for ten”; “You are the weakest
link”; and “Is that your final answer?”
I think one of the reasons for the
success of Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire? — the show responsible
for that last catchphrase, along with
“phone a friend” and “we don’t want to
give you that” — is that it tapped into
what makes quizzes so enticing. It did
away with the clock, which meant that
rival contestants could sometimes buzz
in before you’d even had a chance to
think about the answer, and left just
the contestant — and us — time to
stew, interrogate and confer. It felt as if
we could participate as we mined the
banks of our own knowledge.
One of our actors in Quiz, Greg
Haiste, runs a pub quiz (the ideal
second job for an actor, surely). He
told me that the challenge is that in a
pub quiz only one team can win. So
the communal, social aspect is as
important as taking home the prize, if
not more. “You have to curate the
night, socially, to make it more fun.”
The best questions are not the
ones where you either know it
or you don’t, because this kills the
conversations that great questions
generate. Another question setter told
me that the best questions take you
on a journey; tell a story.
Perhaps this helps to explain the
ultimate question here too — why us?
Why is it here in Britain that this pub
quiz obsession took hold and is
growing? Once you’ve exhausted the
weather, it helps to lubricate the
conversation, provides a safe place and
easy subject matter to engage with
among colleagues or as a family on
long Easter weekends. Which, for the
British, may just be priceless.
The ultimate quiz about quizzes
by Mark Mason (answers, page 13)
1
Which TV quiz show
was inspired by its
creator’s memories of
being interrogated by
the Nazis during
World War Two?
d
died
last year at the age of
60. Which show?
6
15
What was name of the
college represented on
University Challenge by Rick,
U
Vyvyan, Neil and Mike in
V
The Young Ones?
T
2
Which of the BBC’s
Eggheads, born Joseph
Connagh, chose his screen
surname because it is Dutch
for “the beautiful”?
16
What was unusual
about Watson,
a $1 million winner on
tthe US show Jeopardy!
iin 2011?
3
Which quiz show features
Mark Labbett, Shaun
Wallace, Anne Hegerty, Paul
Sinha and Jenny Ryan?
17
Which TV quiz
show host, while a
Cambridge
undergraduate
C
in the 1950s, wrote a
Footlights Revue show
F
ccalled Share My Lettuce?
4
In the 1994 film Quiz Show,
which British actor played
Charles Van Doren, the
real-life contestant accused
of cheating on the US
programme Twenty One?
5
Which TV quiz show host
played James Bond in a
1957 South African radio
version of Moonraker?
6
7
What does QI stand for?
In 1999 a question on
Who Wants to Be a
Millionaire? asked:
“Theoretically, what is the
minimum number of strokes
with which a tennis player can
win a set?” The contestant’s
answer — supposedly the
correct one — was later revealed
to be wrong (although the
producers let him keep his
winnings of £125,000). What
is the correct answer?
8
In the US version of Deal or
No Deal the amounts of money
are hidden in briefcases carried by
models. One of the models from
season two (2006-07) will be busy
on May 19 this year. What will
she be doing?
9
The two-word name of
which TV quiz show is a
quote from the EM Forster
novel Howards End?
10
A 2015 clip from
University Challenge
went viral when a contestant
took less than a second
to correctly answer the
question: “What day of the
week will it be 100 days
after Monday?” What is
the answer?
11
Which presenter,
who hosted a TV
quiz from 2000-12,
got her break as a
newspaper journalist
by covering the death
18
of the Beatles manager Brian
Epstein in 1967?
12
Who was the original host
of the Radio 4 music
quiz Counterpoint?
Which Tory peer,
who retired from
tthe House of Lords last
year on rreaching 95, made
money as a young woman by
winning prizes on TV quiz shows
then selling them?
19
When the Times writer
David Aaronovitch
Davi
appeared on Celebrity
appe
Mastermind in 2016,
Ma
he chose which
specialist
subject?
sp
a)
a The Archers
b)
b History of
the
th British
Communist
Party
Co
c) Life
Li and works
of Henri
Hen Matisse
13
Eggheads is
made by 12
Yard Productions.
The company’s
name comes from
a measurement
on the pitch of
which sport?
14
The first UK version
of this TV quizz was hosted
in 1971 by someone who is still
alive at 94. The last version was
hosted in 1997 by someone who
20
Jim Bow
Bowen, above, was
once recorded as saying
which word 41 times in a
25-minute episode of Bullseye?
a) Smashing
b) Great
c) Super
21
The host of Fifteen to One
was William G Stewart.
What did the G stand for?
a) Gladstone
b) Grayson
c) Gordon
22
PICTURE
QUESTION
The woman
pictured top with
Chris Tarrant is
the first £1 million
winner on Who
Wants to Be a Millionaire?
What is her name?
23
PICTURE QUESTION The
man pictured left is Mat, the
bass player in Suede. His brother
co-hosts which TV quiz show?
Question Time: A Journey Round
Britain’s Quizzes by Mark Mason
(Weidenfeld & Nicolson)
6
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Friday March 30 2018 | the times
arts
Richard Morrison the arts column
This magnificent new London arts venue should be applauded
F
orget the Barbican’s
proposed new concert
hall and the hoo-ha
surrounding it. I’ve just
looked round the site of a
new arts centre for
London that is as big as
the Southbank, that has
already appointed a resident orchestra,
that will offer some of the most aweinspiring rehearsal and performance
spaces in the capital, and will be
up and running (and paid for) by
November next year. Yet few people in
the arts seem to have heard about it.
Why? Well, it’s in Woolwich, on the
Thames east of Greenwich. And for
much of the late 20th century — after
the army stopped making weapons at
the Royal Arsenal and thousands of
jobs were lost — that was a horribly
run-down place. Reputations die hard.
The notion of giving Woolwich a
cultural hub with a 1,200-seat concert
hall, spectacular theatre spaces, dance
studios, art gallery and rehearsal
rooms for community groups would
have seemed mad until quite recently.
Who on earth would go there?
Three factors have transformed that
perception. One was the arrival of the
Berkeley Group, which bought the
Royal Arsenal site, decontaminated it
and has built 3,000 homes around the
historic military buildings, bringing an
influx of young professionals into the
area. “You can criticise Berkeley all
day long for some things, but they
invested in this town when nobody
else was prepared to, and turned the
place around,” says Denise Hyland, the
leader of Labour-controlled
Greenwich borough council.
The second factor was the vision of
the council itself — all the more
admirable when local authorities are
under such financial constraints. It
acquired the leases to four of the
biggest buildings on the Royal Arsenal
site, all listed, and has committed
£31 million to regenerating them as the
new “Woolwich Creative District”.
Not that much regeneration is
needed. The buildings are already
incredibly well suited to performances:
huge uncluttered spaces resplendent
with sturdy Victorian brickwork,
enormous skylights and wrought
ironwork reminiscent of Covent
Garden’s Floral Hall. The building
designated as the new concert hall, a
former ammunition factory, also has
SERGEANT ADRIAN HARLEN/CROWN COPYRIGHT
The Royal Artillery
Barracks at Woolwich,
southeast London
stunning natural acoustics. Now it will
be used to make music, not bullets.
And the third factor? It’s the arrival
of Crossrail. The new Elizabeth Line
was originally planned to go directly
under Woolwich, insultingly, without
stopping. Greenwich council fought
hard to get a station and succeeded. It
means that the new creative district
will effectively be a central London
venue: 14 minutes from the City and
20 minutes from Bond Street.
Not that the prime purpose of this
extraordinary project is to attract the
usual punters from the West End and
Southbank. The main goal is to set up
cultural opportunities right on the
doorstep of the people (and
particularly the children) of Woolwich.
To that end, the first music
organisation to be appointed as a
resident ensemble couldn’t be a more
appropriate choice. It’s Chineke!,
Britain’s pioneering black and minority
Too loud even for Wagner
Managers on the
classical and pop sides
of the music industry
have been shaken by
Chris Goldscheider’s
High Court victory
this week. He is the
viola player who sued
the Royal Opera
House, his employer,
for causing “lifechanging” damage
to his hearing when
he was playing in
Wagner’s Die Walküre,
one of the longest
and loudest operas
in the repertoire.
No one doubts his
suffering. What’s
under dispute is how
much managers can
really do to prevent
such injuries. Many
opera companies and
orchestras already use
transparent screens
to shield string players
from the full blast
of the brass — but
orchestras are, by
definition, noisy
places, and rock
bands even more so.
One way forward,
surely, is to reduce
decibel levels for
everything from
cinema soundtracks,
nightclubs and pop
EXC LU S IVE
R E WA R D S F O R
SUBSCRIBERS
concerts to Wagner
operas and Mahler
symphonies. They
have been climbing
upwards for decades
as everyone from
conductors to DJs
and movie moguls
strives for ultimate
sonic impact.
Ultra-powerful
modern amplifiers are
only partly to blame.
Just as significant, in
the classical field, are
changes to instrument
design, with wide-bore
trombones and horns
producing vastly more
volume than their
early 20th-century
predecessors did, and
violinists bulking up
their own sound with
steel strings rather
than traditional gut.
If we still favoured
the softer, subtler
orchestral sounds our
great-grandparents
enjoyed, it’s possible
that Goldscheider’s
ears would still be in
good working order.
The irony is that
Wagner himself would
have been appalled by
the racket produced by
modern orchestras
playing his music.
ethnic orchestra. For an area with a
population that is more than 40 per
cent BAME, the fit is perfect.
There’s also a plan for Punchdrunk,
the immersive theatre group with a
penchant for dystopian epics, to take
up residency in one of the other
factories. They will certainly find it
roomy enough, with 15,600 sq m of
space available across the site. That’s
the equivalent of about four Royal
Albert Halls.
Rather than run the cultural district
itself, Greenwich council is setting up
an independent trust that will be
expected to be financially selfsupporting after start-up costs have
been covered. Risky? Not if well
managed. The demand for rehearsal
space in London is enormous, and the
new venues will offer handfuls of
studios as well as spaces capable of
taking the biggest opera productions.
The Grange opera festival and the
cutting-edge Aurora Orchestra have
already worked there, and one of the
buildings housed Luke Jerram’s huge
Museum of the Moon installation at
last year’s Greenwich Festival.
In short, I can foresee only good
things. And if the Barbican Centre’s
grandiose concert hall plan does fall
through, the London Symphony
Orchestra can always take a barge
down the Thames and perform in
Woolwich instead — perhaps regaling
river users with a snatch of Handel’s
Water Music on the way.
The Guernsey Literary and
Potato Peel Pie Society:
preview screenings
Discover the story of a writer’s life-changing bond with a book club set up
during German occupation of Guernsey. The film (Cert 12A) will be in
cinemas on April 20 but subscribers can see it first and free on April 11.
Book tickets today at mytimesplus.co.uk
© 2018 STUDIOCANAL S.A.S. This Times+ event is open to UK subscribers only. For full terms and conditions, visit mytimesplus.co.uk
the times | Friday March 30 2018
7
1G T
arts
THE
CRITICS
Ed Potton
is left beaming by Blockers p9
Will Hodgkinson
whiles away a Golden Hour p10
Rachel Campbell-Johnston
is baffled by Sonia Boyce p13
Game over for a digital dud
the big film
Steven Spielberg’s
foray into virtual
reality lacks pace
and jeopardy and
the end is trite,
says Kevin Maher
T
he veteran director
Steven Spielberg
downs a bumper pack
of cinematic Viagra for
a film that surges
forward improbably for
the first wildly
propulsive hour before
collapsing in a flaccid heap long before
its overlong running time is done.
An intense first-act car chase
introduces us to Wade Watts (Tye
Sheridan, slightly blank), a plucky
online gamer from the dystopian
future of 2045 who lives in an Ohio
trailer park, but spends most of his life
on the Oasis — a virtual 3D
simulation that includes fantasy
planets, alternative identities and a
pop cultural palette strictly tied to the
1980s. Back to the Future, Beetlejuice
and John Hughes movies are the
touchstones in the Oasis, we quickly
discover, because its creator, a softspoken nerd called James Halliday
(Mark Rylance, unintentionally
channelling The Fast Show’s Professor
Denzil Dexter), was a big fan of the
1980s. This tremulous plot logic, a
weakness too in the Ernest Cline book
on which the film is based, is one of
the early indicators that Ready Player
One may be all flash and no substance.
Watts, nonetheless, ploughs through
that fabulously visceral opening
pursuit inside the Oasis (dodging
wrecking balls and King Kong — hang
classic
film
of the
week
Tye Sheridan puts in a slightly blank performance as hero Wade Watts in Spielberg’s Ready Player One
on, King Kong isn’t from the 1980s.
Shhhh! You’ll ruin it) in an attempt to
find a magical key, one of three that, if
collected by the end of the movie, will
grant our hero a trillion-dollar fortune
and control of the Oasis itself. And
that’s it. It’s Charlie and the Chocolate
Factory crossed with Tron.
While Spielberg and his team have
clearly lavished loving attention and
most of the film’s alleged $175 million
budget on the realisation of the Oasis
(lots of neon, lots of swooping
cameras, lots of cameos for 1980s
favourites, including Chucky from the
Child’s Play franchise), the movie’s
human dimension is pitiful.
Watts and his band of gamer buddies
are, at best, undernourished non-
Look Back
in Anger (1959)
PG, 97min
{{{{(
T
Ready Player
One
12A, 139min
{{(((
n’s
ony Richardson’s
saturnine
adaptation of
the play by
John Osborne
that gave us the term
“angry young man” is
kicking off a season at
the BFI in London
dedicated to the kitchenp
sink realism that shook up
British cinema in the late
Fifties and early Sixties.
characters. It is telling to note that the
Watts from Cline’s book is overweight
and covered in acne, and his handsome
digital avatar is thus his idealised self.
Similarly his “love interest” Samantha
(Olivia Cooke) is written with a “port
wine stain” birthmark covering half her
face, which adds powerful context to
her blemish-free presence in the Oasis.
In the movie, however, Sheridan’s
Watts is slim, spot-free and strikingly
handsome, while Cooke’s Samantha
has been given a modest, light-brown
birthmark that looks like smudged
chocolatey eyeshadow and makes her
appear more gorgeous, not less. It
suggests, among other things, that
Spielberg’s movie is its own Oasis. Its
own superficial trick. Its own lie.
Osbo
Osborne found a big-screen
avata
avatar for his disaffection
wit
with postwar society in
Richard Burton, who
Ri
imbues the antihero
im
Jimmy Porter with a
Ji
potent mix of workingp
cl
class fulmination,
cy
cynical intellect, sexual
mag
magnetism, misogyny
and su
surreal humour,
llashing
ashing o
out at the ones he
lloves
oves and seduc
seducing the best friend
It doesn’t help that in the book
and the film there is precious little
dramatic jeopardy within the digital
realm. When you die in the Oasis, for
instance, you merely run out of credit,
which is annoying, but hardly the stuff
to lift audiences out of their seats.
And yes, the movie’s moustachetwiddling corporate villain Nolan
Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn, doing Ben
Mendelsohn) tries some closing realworld shenanigans involving a clumsy
van chase (if you open with a virtuoso
car chase, you can’t close with a
sputtering mess).
Yet generally this is an intellectually
inert movie that seems so enamoured
of its own synthetic creation that it
has abdicated the responsibility to
have an idea, an opinion or a single
interesting thought about the same.
Its nearest cinematic relative is
The Matrix, from 1999, a film that
delivered gunplay and death while
convincingly espousing a rejection of
the virtual in favour of the real.
Spielberg’s film arrives at a
more urgent moment, as our culture
becomes increasingly screen-based.
The director here, alas, is wearing
his callow salesman’s hat, ramming
“entertainment” down our throats
without noticing that, somewhere
in the second act, it simply
became “momentum”.
One of the most significant scenes
arrives late in the movie when our
heroes enter a virtual simulation of
Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining, with
spooky twins and blood-filled lifts.
The sequence, at times recreating
the Overlook Hotel interiors with
shot-for-shot accuracy, eventually
descends into chaos (and cue a giant
axe-wielding zombie woman). It’s
as if Spielberg looked into the eyes
of Kubrick, was found wanting
and panicked.
The ending is depressingly trite and
reveals the film to be one long and
strange commercial for itself. And
what does it say? Come into the Oasis.
Marvel at our construction. Revel in
its blandness.
(Claire Bloom) of his pregnant wife
(Mary Ure, left with Burton).
The sexual tension on screen
was matched off it: Ure and Osborne
were married, after becoming lovers
during the stage run, while Burton
and Bloom were old flames. The
film still crackles with dark energy,
sour frustration and, yes, anger.
Ed Potton
In cinemas nationwide from today
and BFI Southbank, London SE1
(020 7928 3232), April 2-12
8
1G T
Friday March 30 2018 | the times
film reviews
The animated stars
of Isle of Dogs
Wes is barking up the right tree
This canine animation by Wes Anderson is a visually
rich paean to existential despair, says Kevin Maher
Isle of Dogs
PG, 101min
{{{{(
D
on’t let the fluffy
faces fool you. Wes
Anderson’s latest
animation (after the
2009 Fantastic Mr
Fox) does deliver
talking dogs and cute
scenarios (and
Scarlett Johansson as Nutmeg, a
poodle-King Charles cross who juggles
flaming skittles with her paws), but
it’s also bleak and unsettling —
a dazzling family movie with the
darkest of hearts.
Set in Japan 20 years into the future,
it depicts the semi-totalitarian city
state of Megasaki (a prominent
Hiroshima-style dome dominates the
skyline). The canine-hating mayor,
Kobayashi (Kunichi Nomura, also a
co-writer), has nurtured mass hysteria
(“dog flu” and “snout fever” threaten
the human population) and shipped all
dogs off to nearby Trash Island, a postapocalyptic rubbish-scape with shades
of Pixar’s WALL-E.
The mayor’s feisty nephew, Atari
(Koyu Rankin), has other ideas, and
soon crash-lands the family plane
on to the island to search for his
beloved pet Spots (Liev Schreiber).
Along the way he befriends a
charismatic pack of scrappy hounds
(Jeff Goldblum, Bill Murray, Bryan
Journeyman
15, 92min
{{{{(
Cranston, Bob Balaban and a slyly
empathetic Edward Norton), dodges
an ancient tribe of cannibal curs and
prepares for a rousing final-act faceoff with his heavily armed,
megalomaniac uncle.
So far, so The Incredible Journey
meets 1984. Yet the tone that
Anderson injects from the beginning,
with painful silences and sudden
bursts of savagery, is one of bracing
existential despair. “There’s no future
on Trash Island,” announces Norton’s
Rex as the camera lingers on his big,
empty doll’s eyes.
A battle between our four-legged
heroes and some muscular interlopers
is fought over a bag of maggotinfested garbage. The fight ends with a
bizarre homage to Blue Velvet, or
Reservoir Dogs, as a ripped ear,
entirely torn from skull, is tossed
contemptuously to the ground and
then curiously poked and nudged.
The stop-frame animation process is
visually rich and sensual, but also gives
the film an eerie soulless quality. And
the dogs seem to know this. Trash
Island is the Underworld, and they’re
the flea-infested undead.
As well as the mentioned
cannibalism, the film features a
daring visual nod to the gates of
Auschwitz (“Dogs Welcome” instead
of “Arbeit Macht Frei”) and has a
central character (Cranston’s team
leader, Chief) who wrestles with
his own savage nature (“I bite.
And I don’t know why”). And, yes,
the humour is wry, the droll gags
relentless (watch out for the scientists
drinking in the laboratory) and the
ending upbeat. But, more than
anything else, this dog bites.
The actor-director Paddy Considine
follows his blistering debut,
Tyrannosaur, with a moving
recovery drama (think Miles
Teller’s Bleed for This, only better)
defined by two intensely committed
lead performances. Considine takes
the role of boxing champ Matty
Burton, who, on the eve of his
retirement, is goaded into that illadvised “one last fight” that will
naturally change everything. Burton’s
brain is brutalised on the night and in
a terrifying scene, played at home,
falling against the coffee table, he
suffers a haemorrhage.
The rest of the film charts his
painfully slow recovery (movement,
speech, memory and emotions are
affected) and the toll it takes on his
relationship with his wife, Emma
(Jodie Whittaker, outstanding).
The domestic scenes are gripping,
sometimes disturbing (Burton’s
frustrations boil over into physical
violence), but always anchored by
Whittaker’s hugely empathetic turn.
There are some minor niggles
(44-year-old Considine has the
lean physicality of a kindly librarian,
or an IT expert — a world champion
boxer is a stretch). Mostly, however,
this is delicate drama, lovingly
executed. KM
The Times Film
Show — watch
Kevin Maher
and Ed Potton
discussing Ready
Player One
thetimes.co.uk/arts
The actor-director Paddy Considine in Journeyman
the times | Friday March 30 2018
9
1G T
film reviews
Will they pop their cherries?
A comedy about
parents trying to
stop their teens
from having sex
amuses Ed Potton
P
uritanical parents versus
rebellious adolescents —
it’s a battle that’s raged
on film since James
Dean first pouted in a
white T-shirt. However,
I don’t think it’s ever
taken the form of a
contest in which a grown man and a
teenager pipe beer up their bottoms,
as it does in the crudely funny and
weirdly loveable Blockers. The title is
short for “cock blockers”, those who
thwart sexual congress. The
wild-eyed killjoys here are three
parents, played by Leslie Mann, John
Cena and Ike Barinholtz, who vow to
stop their daughters from losing their
virginity on prom night, a quest that
the girls dub #sexpact2018 in their
WhatsApp group.
It’s a lively directorial debut from
Kay Cannon, whose credits as a
producer include the Pitch Perfect
films and the TV comedy 30 Rock.
This comedy is closer to the femaleled larks of Pitch Perfect —
refreshingly, it’s the male characters
who are caricatures, and they are all
the more amusing for that. And, while
the parents are beset by hang-ups, the
girls — Julie (Kathryn Newton), Sam
(Gideon Adlon) and Kayla (Geraldine
Viswanathan) — have a bracing
freeness when it comes to discussing
sex, drugs and male members (which,
this sheltered writer learnt, are
denoted in teen text-speak by an
aubergine emoji). Penises, Sam says,
are “not for looking at, they’re for
using. Like plungers.”
Cena, the wrestler-turned-actor,
again displays his Rock-like talent for
12A, 91min
{((((
The “sick lit” genre gets a crushingly
anodyne new addition in this tale of
a teenager (Bella Thorne) who suffers
from a rare disorder called Xeroderma
pigmentosum (which actually exists)
that makes exposure to sunlight
deadly. Her predicament is deepened
further by the fact that she is called
Katie Price.
Life is tough for our lucklessly
named heroine, who can only go out
at night, is called a vampire by the
mean local girls and is home-schooled
by her protective father behind
windows of darkened glass.
No graduation for Katie.
It’s OK, though, because she is also
a budding singer-songwriter who can
compose cringingly banal acoustic pop
ditties about her woes. You can only
hope the Japanese film this is based
on was less dire.
There’s a love interest called Charlie,
played by Patrick Schwarzenegger, son
of Arnold, who has inherited his
father’s chiselled jaw and limited
acting range. As a promising swimmer
who missed out on a scholarship after
getting injured, Charlie sympthasises
with Katie’s insistence on “holding on
to your dreams”. Yep, the scriptwriters
genuinely thought that line would be
acceptable. It really is spectacularly
uninspired stuff. EP
One-track minds: Gideon Adlon, Kathryn Newton and Geraldine Viswanathan in Blockers
Blockers
15, 102min
{{{{(
comedy mugging as Kayla’s father,
Mitchell. He’s a meathead with a heart
who introduces himself to the other
parents as “Kayla’s hero” and
negotiates adolescent problems
through military and sporting
analogies (he compares his right to
snoop on his daughter’s messages to
the Patriot Act).
Barinholtz plays Sam’s father,
Hunter, who is feckless, and frazzled
but sexually right-on. He correctly
guesses that Sam is gay and that her
male prom date is a beard, “or
whatever a lesbian beard is. A merkin?”
Mann, who had hugely likeable
supporting roles in Knocked Up and
This is 40, holds the whole thing
together with neurotic zing as Lisa, a
single mum desperate for her daughter
The Bachelors
Julie to avoid doing what she did and
becoming pregnant by an idiot when
she’s barely out of her teens. The irony,
of course, is that Julie is eminently
sensible. She gets no more reckless
than fantasising about the big night
involving a bath of rose petals “like in
the rom-com American Beauty”.
Not all the gags come off — a
naked game of blind man’s buff
falls disappointingly flat — and
the film can grind its gears when
switching between comedy and
mawkishness. That’s sometimes part
of the fun, though. One moment
Cena is cooing about trying to be the
best dad he can be, the next he is
having beer squirted up his
backside. Modern parenthood in
a nutshell.
The Islands
and the Whales
15, 99min
{{{((
Desperately struggling to shake off
the coming-of-age genre straitjacket,
The Bachelors promises early on to
be something different. It offers us
the teenage wallflower Wes Palet
(Josh Wiggins), recently transplanted
to a Los Angeles private school and
who, after the death of his mother,
is saddled with a morose, grieving
father, Bill (JK Simmons).
Wes begins a tentative relationship
with the brittle self-harming rich
girl Lacy (Odeya Rush), while Bill,
inexplicably, attracts the amorous
attention of the effervescent
French teacher Carine (Julie
Delpy, laying it on).
For a while the film seems to
luxuriate in its otherness. A toughwatch self-harming scene featuring
Lacy and some razor blades, plus the
presence of the frequently blank and
heavily medicated Bill (he’s put on a
course of potent antidepressants),
Midnight Sun
12A, 81min
{{{{(
M
Julie Delpy, JK
Simmons, Odeya Rush
and Josh Wiggins in
The Bachelors
seem to be pulling the movie into
unexpected terrain: more European
arthouse than American indie.
The final act is, however, pure
sugar-coated schmaltz, with musical
montages, a lite indie folk soundtrack,
and tear-stained declarations of love.
It’s pleasing, yes, but in a slightly
emetic way. KM
ike Day’s strange,
melancholic
documentary about the
Faroe Islands features
gimlet-eyed locals, longfinned pilot whales, mystical folk tales
and Pamela Anderson. Yes, that
Pamela Anderson, who comes to this
beautiful but bleak archipelago
halfway between Norway and Iceland
as part of a protest against the
islanders’ age-old hunting of whales.
You can see why many outsiders are
aghast at the hunts, which involve
herding the animals towards a beach
and killing them with spears. The sea
runs red with blood. Yet you feel for
the islanders, for whom whale meat is
a delicacy and who spend most of the
time munching sullenly on sea birds.
“What else can we do?” asks one man.
“Be vegetarian, protect the whales,”
Bella Thorne
and Patrick
Schwarzenegger
in Midnight
Sun
Anderson says. A bit tricky in a land
where nothing grows.
To complicate matters, the whales
contain dangerous levels of mercury
that are affecting some islanders’
cognitive function and make them
more prone to disease such as
Parkinson’s. It sounds hectic, but Day
intercuts the angst with serene,
swooping landscapes and tales of the
huldufolk, mythical people who
appear from nowhere to give helpful
advice. You suspect that the islanders
would appreciate that a bit more than
a visit from a Baywatch crusader. EP
A fisherman on the hunt for whales
10
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Friday March 30 2018 | the times
music reviews
Anything Taylor
can do, Kacey
can do better
pop
Country star Kacey Musgraves is following Swift into
pop but she’s doing it her way, says Will Hodgkinson
Kacey
Musgraves
Golden Hour
MCA Nashville
{{{{(
T
he move from country
to pop can be a
lucrative one. Just ask
Taylor Swift or Miley
Cyrus. But when Kacey
Musgraves announced
at last month’s Country
to Country festival in
London that she would be shuffling
from Nashville tradition towards the
citified ways of chart music, you could
hear a few thousand stetsons rustling
in consternation.
Since the release of her 2013 debut,
Same Trailer Different Park, Musgraves
has offered relatable tales of
dysfunctional families, tacky beauty
pageants, secret dope smokers and all
manner of sexual peccadilloes raging
away under the veneer of small-town
respectability. The thought that she
would be ditching such downwardly
mobile realism for pop fantasy was
depressing indeed.
As it turns out Musgraves is too
much her own woman to wash out
idiosyncrasies for the sake of
mainstream acceptance. Golden Hour
simply puts more of a soft-rock
emphasis on her sound, and the words
reflect her new-found happiness in
marriage while not resorting to a
fantasy vision of spangles and
unicorns. Slow Burn, which opens
the album, is gorgeous, an ode to
taking it easy and accepting life as it
comes that begins with a simple
strummed guitar and ends with
Beatles-like soaring orchestration.
Rainbow is also from the LennonMcCartney school, a handful of
minor-key piano chords backing an
emotive melody with a message about
cheering up a gloomy person. And
Space Cowboy is a riposte to Lynyrd
Skynyrd’s Free Bird, the Eagles’
Desperado and all those other hoary
old rockers by men who wanted to
shag their way across the world
without worrying about the
consequences. “After the gold rush
there’s no reason to stay. Should have
learnt from the movies that the good
guys don’t run away,” Musgraves sings,
refusing to play the part of the
abandoned woman pining for her
would-be outlaw.
All of this places the 29-year-old
from Golden, Texas, in the tradition of
Dolly Parton, Bobbie Gentry and
other country soul sisters who
captured American working-class
life from a female perspective with
honesty and humour. There is a
lack of earnestness and no attempt
to be classy. On Velvet Elvis she praises
her husband by promising to “go out
with you in powder blue, tease my
hair up high”, while High Horse has
her telling a guy who thinks he’s a
cowboy to giddy up and ride straight
out of town.
The album does dip into wimpy love
balladry every now and then, but
Musgraves has a clear voice, an ear
for a melody and a lot of character.
The musical hinterland between pop,
country and rock is lucky to have her.
The Vaccines
Combat Sports
Columbia
{{{((
This London five-piece have been
doing a straightforward take on
tuneful indie rock since 2011 and now,
Britain’s 30 best
beaches for summer
From Cornwall to the Shetland Islands, we reveal the
top places to swim, surf - and sunbathe (if you’re lucky).
Plus great coastal hotels, pubs and B&Bs to book now.
Pick up your copy of The Times tomorrow.
the times | Friday March 30 2018
11
1G T
KELLY CHRISTINE SUTTON
radio
Daphne and Celeste
Save the World
Balatonic
{{(((
New Jersey’s Daphne and Celeste are
remembered here chiefly for their
2000 set at Reading Festival, where
rock fans expressed their feelings
about the pop duo’s hits U.G.L.Y. and
Ooh Stick You by pelting them with
urine-filled bottles. The brave pair
dodged the stinky missiles and got on
with the show.
Now, the experimental producer
Max Tundra has brought them out of
retirement and aligned their bratty
vision to a fashionable, futuristic
electronic sound. There are fun
moments, such as Whatever Happened
to Yazz?, on which Daphne and Celeste
consider the fates of various one-hit
wonders in robot voices, and BB,
where they express incredulity at the
all-conquering success of the “basic
busker” Ed Sheeran. With the album
sounding like one big exercise in camp,
however, the joke soon wears thin.
The Voidz
Virtue
Columbia
{{(((
with the band’s original drummer
Pete Robertson having left in 2016, the
Vaccines have taken a new direction
— but not that different.
Your Love is My Favourite Band
goes for 1980s pop-rock in the style
of Tom Petty and the Cars, which
would be notable had not every other
band of recent years done the same.
Nightclub is a shouty indie stomp that
should go down a treat at the student
disco. It isn’t hugely original, with
lyrics mostly concerning the usual
troubles with girls, but bullish
confidence and a defiant spirit make
the whole thing zip along.
Above: Kacey
Musgraves. Left: the
Vaccines. Right:
Trembling Bells
Is This It by the Strokes is one
of the best debuts to date, so nobody
can take that away from the singer
and chief songwriter Julian
Casablancas. You cannot help
but feel, however, that he is
splashing about in the shallow
waters of inspiration on
the latest album by his
other band.
QYURRYUS has
some cool-sounding
1980s synthesizer
bleeps, Leave it in My
Dreams is a snappy
guitar tune in the vein
of Jonathan Richman,
and Pointlessness finds
Casablancas perfecting
his Lou Reed croak
for some thoughts on
political apathy over an
ominous organ hum.
There is verve here, but
also the impression that we
are indulging a bunch of LA
hipsters who spent the past year
fiddling about with vintage keyboards
and watching old John Carpenter
movies. Style, something Casablancas
has never lacked, wins hands
down over content.
Trembling Bells
Dungeness
Tin Angel
{{{{(
Glasgow’s premier psychedelic
folk quintet have long evoked the
strangeness of the British landscape.
So it fits that their fifth album should
be named after a barren stretch of
Kentish coast, which, with its nuclear
power station and handful of
prefabricated houses stranded amid
expanses of shale, feels like the end
of the world.
And while the drummer Alex
Neilson’s lyrics may be wordy and
impenetrable — “my mother was a
howling mouth,” he claims on My
Father Was a Collapsing Star — they
have sly humour too, as shown on
Christ’s Entry into Govan, where the
bells go ding-dong as the titular saviour
strolls into a deprived Glasgow suburb.
Meanwhile, everything from
medieval chants to wild guitar solos
are held down by the singer Lavinia
Blackwall’s dancing soprano. Not since
the Incredible String Band has an act
turned the oddness of British folklore
into such florid, vibrant music.
The bouncy baroque of Bach’s human side
classical
William Christie
Bach Mass
in B Minor
Harmonia Mundi
{{{{(
T
he most surprising and
touching thing about
William Christie’s recording
of Bach’s B Minor Mass
is the passage in his booklet
note where this 73-year-old Americanborn musician not only starts recalling
his mother, but actually refers to
her as “Mum”.
She conducted a
choir in upstate New
York and valiantly
dipped into the work’s
complexities for one
Easter service in the
1950s. It all helped to plant
a seed, and Christie’s
love of baroque
vocal repertoire
bears gorgeous new
fruit in this bouncy,
intimate rendition
of one of western
civilisation’s glories.
The forces of his ensemble Les
Arts Florissants are relatively
modest: a choir of 21 voices, with
29 instrumentalists. In the modern
fashion, speeds are swift and textures
lean. For some that might remove
grandeur from Bach’s vocal
compendium, a Mass far too lengthy
to suit any liturgical service. Yet so
many of its pages are celebratory in
tone — celebrating not just Christian
beliefs, which the listener may or
may not share, but also the joys of
musical invention and the wonders
of heady counterpoint.
Christie, left, writes that his
goal was to show Bach’s
“human side”. The result
is a reading of great
warmth: you can toast
your hands on the
choir’s hushed beauties
and the period
instruments’ timbres.
Another new recording of the Mass
(Hyperion, {{{((), conducted by
Stephen Layton, offers a larger sound,
a bigger choir and a superior countertenor, Iestyn Davies, but it was
Christie’s leaner version, both urgent
and tender, that stole my heart. I’m
sure his mum would have loved it too.
For hardcore Easter listening, you
may be tempted by the first complete
recording of the first cycle of Michel
Lambert’s Leçons de Ténèbres,
devotional settings for Holy Week
from the 1660s (Harmonia Mundi,
{{{((). A meditative frame of
mind is needed, plus a taste for vocal
lines so embellished that it’s difficult to
uncover the basic melodies. Over
almost two hours the baritone Marc
Mauillon, lightly accompanied, never
gives up, and musical rewards
certainly exist. But the Bach, I have to
admit, is much more enjoyable.
Geoff Brown
Catherine Nixey
Radio
Happy Place
itunes.com
{{(((
The Art of Now:
Guantanamo
Radio 4
{{{{(
T
his week we are going to
Fearne Cotton’s Happy
Place. Which sounds like
a euphemism, and not the
sort of thing for a family
paper, but is in fact the title of
Cotton’s new blockbusting podcast
in which she interviews “incredible
people” about “life, love, loss, and
everything in between”.
Cotton has an astonishing contacts
book. Among her first interviewees
are Dawn French (someone “I
properly admire”), Paloma Faith
(a “brilliant woman”) and Stephen
Fry (“the magnificent Stephen
Fry”). Cotton’s interviewing style
is not easily confused with that of
John Humphrys.
But then these are not intended
to be Today-style interrogations, but
a way of getting people to open up
about life. Cotton’s role is less chief
inquisitor than sympathetic friend.
She is a good listener: likeable and
kind. Apart from the occasional
prompt (and the not nearly
occasional enough “mmm”), she
largely lets the guests get on with it.
She is the interviewing equivalent of
a tape recorder, someone with the
power to press play on stars.
Whether or not you like those
words will depend largely on whether
you like the celebrity. These
interviews are painfully variable.
Fry was indeed magnificent. His
F
cconversation ranged from the effect of
the Industrial Revolution on working
habits to the vicissitudes of finding
the right medication. Each sentence
fell like a succulent fruit, full of
nourishment; a treat to savour. Faith’s
sentences (“I still am not as great as
I’d like to be”) were much less so. The
conversations that focused on mental
health were interesting, but generally
Cotton seemingly had no will to rein
guests in, for good or ill.
This matters because in two weeks
Cotton will be sitting in for Chris
Evans on his Radio 2 breakfast slot.
The overwhelmingly male station
always gives holiday slots to women,
like someone offering a plucky land
girl a crack at a tractor, but ensuring
that she returns it when our brave
boys are back. This time it’s Cotton
for Evans. Now Evans, while grossly
overpaid, is brilliant, nigh on a radio
genius. Cotton is not. No listener
would think they were equal. Why
any commissioner would is baffling.
The Art of Now: Guantanamo on
Radio 4 was quietly wonderful. It
interviewed the softly spoken
Mansoor Adayfi, who spent 15 years
in Guantanamo Bay (“the best of my
life”) without charge. He was taken
there because he was accused of
being an Egyptian general. He was in
fact Yemeni and just 20. “I was barely
20 years old. I told them, ‘I am the
second-youngest general in history
after Alexander!’ ”
Art — and humour — helped him
to survive. As he said later, chuckling
over a form of psychological torture
that he endured: “There are a lot of
funny stories there.”
Nashville: Music City
PROMOTED CONTENT
Baby, we’re flyin’
Non-stop to Nashville? Time to grab your cowboy boots and start packing. . .
I
t’s no secret that Nashville is the
city that country music made.
Nicknamed Music City, the
Tennessee state capital is to steel
guitars what New Orleans is to jazz.
But there’s far more to Nashville
than meets the ear, and it will soon be
easier than ever to see it for yourself.
From May 4, British Airways will be
flying direct to Nashville from London
Heathrow five times a week, the only
airline to offer a non-stop service between
the two destinations. A Boeing 787-8
Dreamliner – designed to minimise jet lag
– will deliver you to one of the friendliest,
most vibrant and fastest growing cities in
the US. With no connections to make,
you’ll get there faster than ever, arriving
at 5.35pm, in good time to head downtown
and enjoy hot chicken with a cold beer.
Nashville has long attracted artists of all
kinds, but the place is becoming a creative
boom town. The Tennessean newspaper
reports that 2,000 people a month are
moving there, no doubt partly inspired
by the popular TV series Nashville. The
city’s motto could be, “Come for the
music and stay for the food, theatre and
new tech start-ups” because for every
singer, songwriter and guitar slinger you
bump into, you’ll meet a chef, fashion
designer or software engineer.
The best way to get your visit off to a
traditional start is to head downtown to
Honky Tonk Highway, the district of neon
Walkability is a rare quality in an
lights and rollicking live music
American city, but Nashville has it.
venues. Overlooked by the iconic
Most of its neighbourhoods with
AT&T “Batman” building (sovisitor appeal are within strolling
called for its pointy “ears”), the
For rollicking
distance of each other, and its
legendary establishments there
live music and
network of cycle trails and
– Tootsie’s Orchid Lounge,
neon lights, head
greenways is growing. A great
Robert’s Western World and the
to Honky Tonk
way to see another side of the
Whiskey Bent Saloon – open from
Highway
city apart from its music is to join
10am to 3am every day. There’s no
the art crawl that is held on the first
charge to hear the performers who ply
Saturday of every month. This tour of
their craft within, but feel free to drop a
the galleries, design studios and ateliers
note or two in their tip jars – following
of 5th Avenue and the Wedgewood/
one’s muse can be an expensive business.
Houston (WeHo) district starts at the Frist
If country isn’t your thing, jazz,
rock, hip hop, indie and electronica
Center for the Visual Arts, a museum
are all on tap elsewhere in Nashville.
whose programme of exhibitions is a
Try the impressive Ryman Auditorium,
constant – and often daring – delight.
or the more intimate settings in Cannery
Or you might want to time your visit to
Row, or neighbourhoods like Elliston
coincide with one of the main events in
Place, SoBro or East Nashville.
Nashville’s cultural calendar. There are
festivals of comedy, film, food and wine,
fashion, ethnic diversity and cherry
blossom. This last one marks the city’s
commitment, in 2009, to plant 1,000
cherry trees in ten years. There’s also Tin
Above,
Pan South, believed to be the world’s
clockwise from
main picture:
largest songwriter festival, and, an hour
Mickey’s in
away in Manchester, the four-day
East Nashville;
Bonnaroo, a shaggier, folkier alternative
on the art
to California’s Coachella music festival.
crawl; the
‘Batman’
Nashville is home to brawn as well as
building; vegan
brain, with four professional sports
nosh at
teams based there: the National Football
Butcher & Bee.
League’s Tennessee Titans; the Nashville
Left: singing in
the streets
Predators, who play ice hockey at
Bridgestone Arena; baseball outfit
the Nashville Sounds; and Nashville
Soccer Club, who play their first
season this year. If you find that you’re
pining for Premier League football, the
Fleet Street pub just north of Broadway
shows most of the matches.
The dining scene in Nashville is
making almost as much noise as the
honky-tonks these days. Condé Nast
Traveler advised its readers to pay the
city a visit “solely for eating”, USA Today
believes it’s the gastronomic equal of
San Francisco and New Orleans, and the
restaurant guide Zagat placed it in the
“30 Most Exciting Food Cities in America
2017”. See what all the fuss is about at
sophisticated seafood spot and oyster
bar Henrietta Red, hip vegan-magnet
Butcher & Bee, farm-to-fork fine diner
Husk, and The Mockingbird, which
serves Southern fare with a global tweak.
FLY DIRECT TO
MUSIC CITY
Only one airline offers direct flights from
London Heathrow to Nashville. From May 4,
British Airways will be making the round
trip five times a week, on Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Friday and Saturday at 2.30pm.
Even better, you’ll fly on the new Boeing
787-8 Dreamliner aircraft, which is designed to
enhance travellers’ wellbeing: state-of-the-art
technology reduces turbulence and the
dryness of cabin air, meaning you arrive feeling
fresher and less jet-lagged; the windows are
30 per cent larger than on a 777, and can
be darkened at the touch of a button. There
is a choice of three cabins: Club, World
Traveller Plus and World Traveller.
To book your Dreamliner flight to
Nashville with British Airways, call
0844 493 0787 or visit ba.com
the times | Friday March 30 2018
13
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visual art
How a public outcry put
Sonia Boyce in the picture
ANDREW BOOKS; MAYA BAILEY
The artist’s new
survey show in
Manchester caused
a kerfuffle, but it’s
oddly dull, says
Rachel CampbellJohnston
Y
ou may not be familiar
with Sonia Boyce.
However, you
probably heard the
brouhaha that her
work recently
whipped up — even if
you were not aware
that she was behind it. For a week in
February the iconic John Waterhouse
painting Hylas and the Nymphs was
banished from Manchester Art
Gallery. “We have left a temporary
space,” the museum announced, “to
prompt a conversation about how we
display and interpret artworks.”
It’s easy to see why Waterhouse’s
canvas might be controversial. A
famous classical story is converted
into some Victorian equivalent of a
Miss Wet T-Shirt contest. The male
protagonist is clothed, but the host of
bathing lovelies who besiege him are
naked; they emerge bare-breasted
from the waters and gaze adoringly up.
This certainly does not accord with
our modern way of seeing women. But
to take the picture down? Cries of
“censorship” flooded the media, social
and otherwise. After a week of exile,
the nymphs were returned by popular
demand. Yet the act of removing the
painting, we now discover, was part of
an artwork staged by Boyce.
Born in 1962, Boyce is a pioneering
British artist of Afro-Caribbean
descent. She first brought her
experience, and that of women like
her, into the mainstream art world
with figurative images (for which she
was frequently the model) that looked
at questions of identity, gender and
race. She was the first black female
artist to have her work acquired by
the Tate. In 1987 it bought her From
Tarzan to Rambo, for instance, a series
of self-portraits that probe her ideas of
self in the context of media depictions
of blackness and whiteness.
ANSWERS FROM PAGE 5
1 Mastermind. Bill Wright included
the “name, occupation, specialist
subject” element because he had
given the Nazis his name, rank and
serial number. In early episodes the
presenter Magnus Magnusson
was listed as “Interrogator”
2 CJ de Mooi
3 The Chase — they are the
chasers
A group
of people
scream
their
names
at the tops
of their
voices
In the 1990s, however, her focus
moved from herself and towards more
collaborative, improvisatory pieces
involving other people. It is a selection
of these works, mainly photographic
and filmic, that a new Manchester Art
Gallery survey of her work presents.
The removal of Waterhouse’s Hylas
— a decision that arose from long
discussions with gallery staff about
power and taste and who decides what
belongs on a gallery wall — is one of
the actions recorded in a piece, Six
Acts, which is making its debut here.
Among the half-dozen works on
display, visitors will find the photobooth style images of Boyce’s 1997 The
Audition, for which she issued an open
call to the public to come along and be
photographed wearing an Afro wig.
Visitors will also see her continuing
Devotional Series, begun in 1999: an
4 Ralph Fiennes
5 Bob Holness, host of Blockbusters
6 Quite Interesting
7 Twelve. Tony Kennedy had
answered 24 — but this forgets
that the player can win three
games by his opponent doublefaulting on every serve
8 Marrying Prince Harry. Meghan
Markle’s main memory of Deal
or No Deal is having to wear
archive of names (written on
wallpaper) and memorabilia
relating to black British women from
m
the world of music.
You can watch her 2007 video Crop
p
Over, named after the harvest festival
al
that takes place annually in Barbados.
os
Its double-screen presentation
intercuts carnivalesque celebrations
and West Indian landscapes with
scenes shot at Harewood House, near
Leeds, the home of the Lascelles
family whose fortune was built on
sugar plantations.
Some of these pieces are deliberately
understated documents. Others are
brazenly flamboyant. Soundtracks are
noisy, often raucous — not least when
a group of people decide to scream
their names at the tops of their voices
— and the galleries resound with the
racket from one space to the next.
“terribly uncomfortable and
inexpensive 5in heels”
9 Only Connect
10 Wednesday
11 Anne Robinson, host of
The Weakest Link
12 Ned Sherrin
13 Football. The penalty spot
is 12 yards from the goal-line,
and the final winner-takesall section of Eggheads is
Above: Sonia Boyce
Above left: Cheddar
Gorgeous and top right:
Liquorice Black, both
performing at Boyce’s
new exhibition
comparable to a penalty
shoot-out
14 Sale of the Century. The hosts
were Nicholas Parsons and
Keith Chegwin
15 Scumbag College
16 It was a computer, designed
by IBM. The company donated
the money to charity
17 Bamber Gascoigne, the original
host of University Challenge
However, what becomes apparent is
that, whatever stories these pieces tell,
whatever ideas they present, they feel
improvisatory and hence open and
unfinished. Disjunctions are
deliberately opened up and it is in the
spaces between them that the work
must be done by the spectator.
Explanations are not packaged.
This work is not about statements,
but questions. The point lies in the
response. You have to commit, become
one of her collaborators.
I found myself, mostly, insufficiently
engaged by the visual element of
Boyce’s work to be persuaded. It lost
my attention. The only piece that
intrigued me was Exquisite Cacophony,
intr
a film
fil of the encounter between an
indie-rock
rapper and an experimental
indi
vocalist.
The haunting polyphonies
vo
repeatedly
disrupted by guttural
re
grunts
and bursts of pure abstract
g
ssound built up into a weirdly
wonderful
sonic conversation.
w
Yet for the most part I felt too
awkward;
too like one of the
aw
members
of the decidedly stilted
me
audience that I watched drifting about
aud
the multipartite video that
in th
documents Six Acts. Goaded
docu
occasionally by some hyper-campedocca
up performer into taking part, they
oblige. But they don’t look particularly
happy about it, or much convinced.
I suspect that may be the point.
Just as the purpose of removing Hylas
from the gallery was found not in the
action, but the nature of the debate
that it stirred, so the point of the
pieces that Boyce now presents
resides in your questioning of your
personal responses. What do they
say about you? And so where do you
stand in the world?
Sonia Boyce is at Manchester Art
Gallery (0161 235 8888) to July 22
18 Baroness Trumpington. Her
trick for being picked from the
audience was to wear a hat and
white gloves, and make the man
she was with wear a bow tie
19 The Archers
20 Smashing
21 Gladstone
22 Judith Keppel
23 Pointless. Mat Osman’s brother
is Richard
14
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Friday March 30 2018 | the times
television & radio
Idris is capital in this 1980s-set London comedy
SKY UK
Carol
Midgley
TV review
In the Long Run
Sky 1
{{{{(
Indian Summer School
Channel 4
{{{((
‘H
ow would you feel if your
wife slept with a black
man?” said Bill Bailey in
In The Long Run. That
Bailey was asking the
question of Idris Elba was a clue that
here’s a comedy not shy of the racebased gag. Elba’s character, Walter,
replied that she does — every night,
“sometimes twice”. Bailey, playing
Bagpipes, a man raising a mixed-race
child because his wife briefly took
afternoon delight elsewhere, shrugged
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Is Music a Civilising
Force?
Radio 3, 10.45pm
The idea that someone at
Radio 3 might might hold
out hopes that music has
the power to make us better
is heartening. In today’s
essay the speaker is Paul
Morley and he talks about
how music has, in the world
of streaming, been turned
into a soundtrack rather
than a sound. And, as best
as you can gather from his
wordy delivery, he doesn’t
like this. Making a journey
in a lift more relaxing or
easing the stress of a
shopping experience:
are these hallmarks
of civilisation?
Reservoir 13
Radio 4, 10.45pm
Mournful piano chords
mean only one thing: we’re
back in Jon McGregor’s
novel, which is (and isn’t)
about the disappearance of
a girl called Rebecca Shaw.
Although it’s a clever book,
it isn’t really about postmortem examinations on
girls; instead, it’s a post
mortem on the village
where she vanished. So it’s
not a murder-mystery, this,
but it’s not exactly
Wodehouse either.
Expect a lot of sentences
in the “sun was hot and
unrelenting” vein.
and said: “You know what I mean.”
The couple’s white son believes that
his little sister is brown because his
mum “ate a lot of brown sugar when
she was pregnant”.
Set in the 1980s and loosely based
on Elba’s childhood in the London
borough of Hackney, this is an
unexpected joy. Life-affirming, funny
and with a cracking soundtrack
(Bowie, the Cure, the Clash), it is
character-led, which works because all
the characters are credible, right down
to the old couple who complain of
“coloureds”, then say: “Oooh, aren’t you
people strong?” Elba wanted the casual
racism of the time to come across.
It’s rare to get a new comedy whose
humour, from the start, flows as
naturally as the Thames and the
blarney from Valentine’s mouth.
Valentine is Walter’s wide-boy
charmer brother who on his first night
in London from Sierra Leone secures
a gig as a DJ and invents a new
cocktail called Nasty Bastard. Elba,
Bailey and Jimmy Akingbola are
three weak men kept in check by
stronger women (Madeleine Appiah
and Kelly Shirley) in a world in which
community is strong, the pop charts
are brilliant (remember that?) and the
kids sit outside the pub eating prawn
cocktail crisps while their parents get
drunk. Ah, those were the days.
The writing has a feather-light touch
(not in the Eighties Durex sense) and
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am Radio 1’s Greatest Hits with Alice
Levine 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 The Matt Edmondson Show
4.00 The Official Chart with MistaJam
6.00 Radio 1’s Dance Anthems with
MistaJam 7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 Pete Tong
11.00 Danny Howard 1.00am B.Traits
4.00 Radio 1’s Essential Mix
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Andrew Lloyd Webber at the BBC. Michael
Ball celebrates the music and career of
Andrew Lloyd Webber 2.00pm Alan and Mel
on Good Friday. Alan Carr and Melanie Sykes
are back with a live show for Good Friday
5.00 Simon Mayo. All-Request Friday 7.00
Tony Blackburn’s Golden Hour. Womack &
Womack, the Four Tops, Squeeze, Lemar and
Adam Faith 8.00 At the Foot of the Cross.
Dan Walker presents an evening of music and
reflection to mark Good Friday 10.00 Sounds
of the 80s. A Red Button special featuring
Joe Elliot and Rick Savage of Def Leppard
12.00 Anneka Rice: The Happening 2.00am
Radio 2’s Funky Soul Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: New to 2 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
21st Century Songs 5.00 Huey on Saturday
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Music, news and the occasional surprise with
Petroc Trelawny. Including 7.00, 8.00 News
7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Suzy Klein presents a selection of
classical music and conversation
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Gesualdo (1566-1613)
Admired as a veritable prince of music,
Gesualdo was a sick man when he published
his final sacred and secular works. Donald
Macleod concludes his account of the Prince
of Venosa. Gesualdo (Moro lasso — Sixth
Book of Madrigals; Sicut ovis ad occisionem;
Ierusalem, surge; plange quasi virgo —
Tenebrae Responses for Holy Saturday;
Ardita Zanzaretta; Gia Pansi; O dolce mio
tesoro; Alme d’amor rubelle — Sixth Book of
Madrigals; Astiterunt reges; Aestimatus
sum; Sepulto domino — Tenebrae Responses
for Holy Saturday; Tribularer si nescirem; and
O Crux benedicta: Odhecaton)
1.00pm News
Bill Bailey and Idris Elba, who play neighbours in the sitcom
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Malcolm Martineau is joined by the singers
Simon Keenlyside & Kitty Whately to
celebrate more from this series “a life in
song”. Vaughan Williams (The Vagabond;
Youth and Love; and The Infinite Shining
Heavens); Jonathan Dove (Am’rous sighs);
Britten (The trees they grow so high; and
Come you not from Newcastle);
Northumbrian folk songs (Water of Tune;
Elsie Marley; My Bonny Lad; Bonny at morn;
and Bobby Shaftoe); Trad arr Maxim Boon
(Fareweel regality); Somervell (There Pass
the Careless People — Simon Keenlyside);
Warlock (My Own Country; Piggesnie;
and The Night); Grainger (The Sprig of
Thyme); Ireland (Her Song); Gurney
(Sleep; and The fields are full); and
Armstrong Gibbs (In the Highlands)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Georgia Mann introduces a concert
from Barcelona with the conductor Jordi
Savall, and David Szigetvári (tenor),
Konstantin Wolff (bass), Emoke Baráth and
Marta Mathéu (sopranos), Raffaele Pé
(countertenor), Reinoud van Mechelen
(tenor), Cor Infantil Amics de la Unió,
La Capella Reial de Catalunya, and
Le Concert des Nations. JS Bach
(St Mark Passion, BWV247)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty with a lively mix of chat,
arts news and live performance.
Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
An eclectic non-stop mix of music
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Live from King’s College, Cambridge, Stephen
Cleobury conducts the BBC Concert Orchestra,
Philharmonia Chorus and soloists Kathryn
Rudge (mezzo), Brenden Gunnell (tenor),
and Henry Waddington (bass-baritone).
Presented by Donald Macleod.
Elgar (The Dream of Gerontius)
10.00 The Verb
Ian McMillan visits the celebrated
psychoanalytic writer and therapist Adam
Phillips to discuss the rules and significance
of Freud’s concept of “free association” (r)
10.45 The Essay:
Is Music a Civilising Force?
Paul Morley concludes the series of essays
debating music as a civilising force by raising
the question of what happens when music is
deliberately co-opted. See Radio Choice
11.00 World on 3
Kathryn Tickell introduces a concert by the
Afro-Cuban All Stars, recorded at the
Glasgow Royal Concert Hall
1.00am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am-7.00 (LW) Test Match Special:
New Zealand v England
Commentary on the opening day of the
second Test in the two-match series
at Hagley Oval, Christchurch
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
7.00 (LW) Today
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Desert Island Discs
Kirsty Young talks to Anne-Marie Duff (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 The Channel
Examining Britain’s relationship with the
Strait as a key portal to Europe (5/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews with Jenni Murray.
Including at 10.45 the 15 Minute Drama:
Part five of Lucy Gannon’s Judas
11.00 The Patch: Codicote
A visit to a place behind a randomly
generated postcode
11.30 When the Dog Dies
By Ian Davidson and Peter Vincent (1/6) (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Katie Hims
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Encounters
Death-knock journalism (4/4)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Bread and Butter
The Bristol composer Jennifer Bell’s
a-cappella songs about the human emotions
and oddities at play in office life are
interwoven with true stories of love and
yearning from workers around the UK
3.00 Good Friday Meditation
The Rev Mike Long reflects on
the importance of lament
3.30 Soundstage
A journey in sound through northern
Italy’s Cima Verde (3/5) (r)
3.45 Short Works
The Last Place, by Julie Mayhew
4.00 Last Word
4.30 Feedback
4.55 The Listening Project
A mother reveals how she had to keep
her pregnancy secret in the 1970s
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
Elba has good comic timing. Over how
many episodes the premise can stretch
before tiring remains to be seen, but
the first two felt fresh and uplifting,
and these days we need more of that.
The premise of Indian Summer
School made my hackles rise
instinctively. “Let’s get five workingclass white boys with one C grade
GCSE between them,” it seemed to
say, “put them in an elite Indian
boarding school that feeds Oxford,
Cambridge and Harvard, then watch
them flounder and f*** up. What
larks!” Sure enough, they were soon
smuggling in alcohol and bragging to
wide-eyed Indian boys that if they
come to Blackpool the girls will provide
sex on tap. But this doesn’t mean that
I wasn’t, despite myself, fascinated.
If the Doon School can change
these boys’ lives in six months it
will be a useful commentary on
opportunity, social mobility and
class-based snobbery. The teachers —
the cameras may have helped — were
kind (the head let an anxious Ethan,
who wants to become a girl, keep his
long hair because it’s as much a part
of his identity as that of Sikh boys).
But by the end it looked like fragile
Ethan, swearing away in the standard
documentary role of kick-off merchant,
was going home. For Jack, though,
starting to bloom like a flower, things
look much more hopeful. We’ll see.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
6.30 The Now Show
A satirical look through the week’s news
via topical stand-up and sketches (5/6)
7.00 The Archers
One villager makes a shocking admission
7.15 Front Row
John Wilson presents
7.45 Judas
By Lucy Gannon (5/5) (r)
8.00 Any Questions?
Ritula Shah chairs a discussion from the
Radio Theatre at Broadcasting House London
8.50 A Point of View
With John Gray
9.00 Home Front Omnibus
Parts 16-20. By Katie Hims
10.00 The World Tonight
With James Coomarasamy
10.30pm-5.30am (LW) Test Match
Special: New Zealand v England
Commentary on day two of the second Test
in the two-match series, at Hagley Oval
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Reservoir 13
By Jon McGregor. The years pass since Becky
Shaw’s disappearance, but even so the
aftershocks of the event refuse to subside.
See Radio Choice (10/10)
11.00 Late Night Woman’s Hour
Lively conversation, with Lauren Laverne
11.55 The Listening Project
Damian and Aine discuss parenthood
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am The Channel (5/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am I’m Sorry I’ll Read That Again 8.30
Brothers in Law 9.00 The Motion Show 9.30
Kathmandu or Bust 10.00 Sons and Lovers
11.00 Man About the House 11.15 Bowen
and Betjeman 12.00 I’m Sorry I’ll Read That
Again 12.30pm Brothers in Law 1.00 The
Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club 1.30
Brandreth’s Pills 2.00 The Norfolk Mystery
2.15 Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen’s History of
Home 2.30 The Old Curiosity Shop 2.45
Hellhound on His Trail 3.00 Sons and Lovers
4.00 The Motion Show 4.30 Kathmandu or
Bust 5.00 The Emerald Green Show 5.30 In
and Out of the Kitchen 6.00 The Willows
6.30 Mastertapes 7.00 I’m Sorry I’ll Read
That Again. Comedy with John Cleese 7.30
Brothers in Law. Comedy with Richard Briers
8.00 The Unpleasantness at the Bellona
Club. Mystery by Dorothy L Sayers 8.30
Brandreth’s Pills. The story of Gyles
Brandreth’s great-great-great-grandfather
9.00 Podcast Radio Hour 10.00 Comedy
Club: In and Out of the Kitchen. Damien helps
out at one of Anthony’s barbecues 10.30 The
Show What You Wrote. Sketches based on
geography 10.55 The Comedy Club Interview.
A chat with a guest from the world of
comedy 11.00 Kevin Eldon Will See You
Now. Featuring sketches on alien abduction
and novelty tea towels 11.30 A Look Back at
the Nineties. Comedy with Brian Perkins
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 Chiles on
Friday 1.00pm Kermode and Mayo’s Film
Review 2.30 5 Live Sport 3.15 Live Rugby
League: St Helens v Wigan Warriors
(Kick-off 3.15) 5.30 5 Live Drive 7.00
5 Live Sport: The Friday Football Social. A
look ahead to the weekend’s football action
9.30 At Home with Colin Murray 10.00
Stephen Nolan 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 5 Live Boxing with Costello & Bunce
5.30 Under the Weather
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Ally McCoist 10.00 Jim White, Perry
Groves and Bob Mills 1.00pm Matchday Live
5.00 The Full Time Phone-in 7.00 The
Season Ticket with Danny Kelly, Laura Woods
and Ryan Mason 10.00 The Two Mikes.
With Mike Graham and Mike Parry
1.00am Extra Time with Ged Mills
6 Music
Digital only
6.00am A Brief History of Time 7.00 Mary
Anne Hobbs 10.00 Lauren Laverne 1.00pm
Mark Radcliffe 4.00 Steve Lamacq 7.00 Sam
Mendes 9.00 Tom Ravenscroft 12.00
6 Music Recommends 2.00am 6 Music
Classic Concert 3.00 6 Music Live Hour 4.00
The Beach Boys Story 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 The
Classic FM Hall of Fame with Tim Lihoreau
12.00 The Classic FM Hall of Fame with
Anne-Marie Minhall 3.00pm The Classic FM
Hall of Fame with John Brunning 6.00 The
Classic FM Hall of Fame with Catherine Bott
9.00 Blowers Around Britain. New series.
Henry Blofeld celebrates a wealth of great
classical music 10.00 Smooth Classics
1.00am Katie Breathwick 4.00 Jane Jones
the times | Friday March 30 2018
15
1G T
THE OTHER RICHARD
first night
Concert
Tenebrae/Aurora
St John’s Smith Square, SW1
Exhibition
Hope to Nope: Graphics
and Politics 2008-18
Design Museum, W8
T
{{{{(
he conductor’s arms
stretched wide, suddenly
contracted, then — bang!
— choir, instrumentalists
and the audience were
launched on the meditative 70-minute
span of Arvo Part’s Passio of 1989,
one of the landmark pieces in his
“tintinnabulation” style. Using words
drawn from St John’s Gospel, this is a
Passion setting where, at least on the
surface, not a great deal happens.
Pitches, intervals, note values and
rhythms regularly expand, contract,
or stay put, according to the text’s
rhythms and punctuation. At the same
time, the music appears forever turned
inward, unhurried, unchanged. A
disengaged listener might either drift
off or mentally plan the weekend shop.
Nothing like that was possible here,
for Nigel Short’s superbly vibrant
choir Tenebrae, the four soloists and
instrumentalists from the Aurora
Orchestra made even Part’s smallest
musical moves throb with emotion
and drama. With each sudden twist
in the music’s pitch, the crowd
comments from the choir gave
the ears an uplifting jolt.
The jangly nature of Pontius Pilate’s
high-pitched contributions, at war
with their organ accompaniment, only
increased with the vibrato threading
through Nicholas Madden’s voice.
Jimmy Holliday’s Jesus (the singer’s
beard seemed most appropriate)
supplied sonorous gravitas. But the
main source of the work’s undeniable
spell lay with the sections setting the
Evangelist’s own words: music spread
over voices and instruments in
incremental layers, rocking between
repeated intervals. I wasn’t merely
listening to this music; I came to feel
I was living inside it.
This exalted evening disappointed
only in one minor area, the candle
department. The performance was
trailed as being sung by candlelight,
but electric lighting remained in place
alongside the candles bunched on the
stage. We had light enough to read St
John’s text; light enough as well to see
a quiet disturbance among the choir,
when one of the sopranos suddenly
sank to the ground, luckily when
no choral singing was needed.
Part’s Passio rolled on regardless,
glorious, unstoppable, and happily the
soprano returned to her feet for the
final verse and its full-throated,
ecstatic Amen. With or without
candles, this was still a performance
to remember.
Geoff Brown
T
{{{{(
Patrick Knowles, Kelly Gough and Amber James in a modern-dress staging of A Streetcar Named Desire
A Southern seduction
Kelly Gough
is a magnetic
Blanche in this
gripping
production,
says Dominic
Maxwell
Theatre
A Streetcar
Named Desire
NST City,
Southampton
{{{{(
The Inheritance,
reviewed at the
Young Vic, SE1
First Night, main paper
T
ennessee Williams’s great
play has attracted some fine
lead performances over the
past decade. Gillian
Anderson, Maxine Peake and
Rachel Weisz are among those who
have shredded their nerves as the
superannuated Southern belle Blanche
DuBois. Yet in her lower-key way, the
relatively unknown Kelly Gough
stands comparison to all of them. She
gives a performance as psychologically
true as it is theatrically compelling.
When she arrives on stage in
Chelsea Walker’s artfully modernised
production she carries a single white
suitcase. She is trepidatious and
slightly gangly, and one wonders
if Gough has undercooked the
performance just as Stella has, surely,
underpacked for a summer with her
sister in New Orleans. No “ahh doo
declare” super-elongated Southern
vowels here. Instead she gives us a
Blanche who slowly unpacks her
neuroses and strategic allure. By the
time she has had some bourbon, stuck
up a mirrorball — in place of the
paper lantern specified in the 1947
original — and danced about to
Material Girl while Stanley hosts his
men-only poker night, she’s proper
Blanche, but grounded in a way you
may not have seen before.
Like her more famous older sister,
Denise, Gough has the ability to make
huge emotions vivid without
appearing to do anything so naff as
“acting”. The deeper we go, towards
the exposure of her past and the
climactic rape by Stanley — rendered
here with imaginative horror as
Georgia Lowe’s set is ripped apart
behind them — the more she gives us
a woman whose yen for illusion has
reached the end of the line. It’s a
name-making performance.
Walker too, who won the Sir Peter
Hall director award with her proposal
for this show, looks like she’s here to
stay. Her characters look 2018, dancing
to hip-hop in their basketball shorts
and denim cutoffs, but talk 1947. Yet
the sultry but unpredictable, underlit,
slightly out-of-time atmosphere works;
the exchanges in Stella and Stanley’s
barely furnished trailer are intimate,
charged and gripping.
Patrick Knowles is a slight, stringy,
overenergetic Stanley forever taking
his top off to cope with the heat. He
chooses not to know the boundaries.
The production makes palpable the
long hot summer and Blanche’s
moods; petals in the air and Blondie
on the speakers, say, as she frays
at the edges.
Amid a strong supporting cast,
Amber James is superb as the
pregnant Stella, still infatuated with
the dynamic, threatening Stanley. And
Dexter Flanders is a delight as Mitch,
the nice guy Blanche has an eye on
as her escape route from ruin. It’s
Gough’s night, though. I’ve seen more
flamboyant Blanches, but I’m not sure
I’ve seen better.
Box office: 023 8067 1771, to March
31, then touring to June 2
(ett.org.uk), then June 5-16
he past decade has
been a time of almost
unprecedented political
wrangling, but it has also
been a period of profound
technological change — after all, the
first iPhone appeared in 2007, about
the same time that Twitter began to
hit its stride.
As a result, in the period since the
most recent financial crash the way we
engage with politics has changed for
ever and relies as much on memes
and sharing as demonstrations and
knocking on doors. There may still be
a place for placards, but only if they
are clever or unusually eye-catching.
Hope to Nope, an exhibition at the
Design Museum, is an attempt to take
stock of the way that graphic design
has begun to exert a mostly leftleaning influence on our lives. Items
range from the 2008 Barack Obama
campaign poster (the “hope” part) to
a wall of magazine covers featuring
Donald Trump (the “nope” part),
‘Something to
offend everyone,’
says the curator
including the fake Time cover that the
president reportedly put on display in
several of his golf clubhouses.
It is a romp through some of the
defining events of our recent past,
such as the Grenfell Tower disaster
and Brexit, and movements from
Black Lives Matter to the Arab Spring.
There are banners, posters and more
— an Isis flag, a portrait of Vladimir
Putin wearing make-up, an anti-EU
beer mat from a Wetherspoon pub
and even Jeremy Corbyn as a cartoon
hero. “Something to offend everyone”,
as the curator puts it.
Beyond the shock value, does it tell
you much? Not really. We already
knew that Facebook was polarising
and fracturing political discourse. But
it does, perhaps, offer more hope than
nope — there is probably more public
engagement, more anger and cynicism
than ever before, and that can only
be to the good. Above all, what soon
becomes clear is that the more Trump,
Putin and the like obsess over their
images, the easier they are to subvert.
Jonathan Morrison
Booking: 020 3862 5900, to Aug 12
Ektertaikmekts
Theatres
HER MAJESTY'S 020 7087 7762
THE BRILLIANT ORIGINAL
THE PHANTOM OF
THE OPERA
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66th year of Agatha Christie's
THE MOUSETRAP
Mon-Sat 7.30, Tues & Thu 3, Sat 4
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Vaudeville Theatre 0330 333 4814
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Mon-Sat 7.30pm, Thu & Sat 2.30
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16
1G T
Friday March 30 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
James Jackson
Arena: Bob Dylan
BBC Four, 10pm
Early
In 1979 Bob
Top Dylan found
pick God, and his
liberalminded fans were
aghast. This was when
such a religious stance
was associated with
the most reactionary
aspects of American
politics. Yet this wasn’t
the first time that
Dylan had confounded
his audience — ever
since 1965, when
“Judas” went electric,
he was fearless in
pursuing his artistic
vision. The album after
Dylan’s epiphany, Slow
Train Coming, was a set
of devotional songs, and
for the next two years
he performed only
songs expressing his
faith. None of the old
hits were played, and
the average reaction
from audience members
was: “I wanted to hear
rock’n’roll. I didn’t come
to hear sermons or I
could’ve gone to church,
man.” A film of one of
those concerts is here
shown for the first time,
and ironically what’s
clear is that amid all
the gospel exhortations
the music actually is
full-tilt electrified
rock’n’roll. This being
Arena, however,
tonight’s film is a bit
different. In between
each live number is a
Billy Graham-style
sermon from the
American actor
Michael Shannon,
pontificating on
alcohol, junk food and
money. Dylan, it seems,
had demurred from a
straight documentary,
so while some may be
disappointed not to
hear how he found God
or how he felt about his
audience, this should
be watched as a rockperformance film. The
hecklers might not
have liked it, but the
music is direct,
powerful and superbly
performed. His Bobness
as impassioned as you’ll
see him.
Britain’s Great
Cathedrals with
Tony Robinson
Channel 5, 8pm
The title tells you pretty
much all you need to
know about a new
series from the
production line of
heritage television, but
it works perfectly well
in providing cathedralbased titbits with which
to enthral people at
dinner parties. First up,
York Minster, where
the notion of “taking
the liberty” was
originated: in the 13th
century York’s lord
mayor would enter the
“liberty” area of the
cathedral with such
impudent regularity it
coined the phrase. Tony
Robinson, in a practical
Puffa anorak, is your
safe-pair-of-hands
presenter.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.00 Painting the Holy Land with
Lachlan Goudie. The artist Lachlan Goudie follows Jesus’s
route to the Crucifixion (1/2) (AD) 10.00 Homes Under
the Hammer. Featuring properties in Derby, London and
Somerset (r) (AD) 11.00 The Sheriffs Are Coming.
Lawrence puts the squeeze on a finance company that has
not paid its rent (r) 11.45 Claimed and Shamed. How
greed got the better of a serial fraudster 12.15pm
Bargain Hunt. From Ballinderry in Antrim (AD) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.15 BBC Regional News; Weather
1.25 FILM: 102 Dalmatians (U, 2000) Freed from
prison for good behaviour, Cruella De Vil turns evil again
and pursues her parole officer’s dogs. Disney family
adventure sequel starring Glenn Close, Gérard Depardieu
and Ioan Gruffudd (AD) 3.00 Escape to the Country.
A couple look for a new home in West Sussex (r) (AD)
4.00 Money for Nothing. Norman Wilkinson tries to
stamp his style on a collection of metal plates, while
Sarah Peterson hopes to put a pile of broken chairs back
together 4.45 Flog It! Making a profit at auction (r) 5.45
Pointless. Quiz show (r) 6.30 BBC News at Six; Weather
6.50 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Money for Nothing (r) 6.45 Escape to the
Country (r) (AD) 7.30 Nature’s Weirdest Events (r) (AD)
8.30 FILM: Tinker Bell and the Secret of the Wings
(U, 2012) The fairy makes a new friend in a winter
forest, and together they must save both their homes.
Disney animated adventure with the voices of Mae
Whitman and Lucy Hale 9.40 FILM: Muppets Most
Wanted (U, 2014) The gang’s world tour is hijacked by
Kermit’s evil double, who uses their performances as
cover for an international crime spree. Comedy starring
Ricky Gervais and Tina Fey (AD) 11.15 Six Puppies and Us
(r) (AD) 12.15pm Growing Up Wild: Natural World (r)
1.15 Coast (r) (AD) 1.50 Canterbury Cathedral (r) (AD)
2.50 Epics: Talking Pictures 3.35 FILM: The Robe (U,
1953) A Roman centurion oversees Christ’s crucifixion,
an experience that moves him to convert to the Christian
faith, angering the Emperor. Drama with Richard Burton
and Jean Simmons 5.45 Put Your Money Where Your
Mouth Is. Christina Trevanion and Mark Stacey fight it out
across four different locations, and race towards the
finish line at the Showdown Auction in Essex (AD)
6.30 Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
6.00am CITV: Dino Dan: Trek’s Adventures 6.25 Super 4
(r) 6.55 The Bagel and Becky Show (r) 7.20 Horrid Henry
(r) (AD) 8.20 Wishfart (r) 8.50 Scrambled! Sketch Show
(r) 9.20 Mission Employable (r) (SL) 9.25 FILM: K-9
(12, 1989) A hard-bitten cop is partnered with a lovable
Alsatian that puts him through his paces on the biggest
case of his career. Comedy starring James Belushi, Mel
Harris and Ed O’Neill (AD) 11.15 FILM: King Ralph
(PG, 1991) The British royal family is wiped out in a
freak accident, making a slobbish Las Vegas singer the
claimant to the throne. Comedy with John Goodman,
Peter O’Toole and John Hurt (AD) 1.15pm Countrywise.
Liz Bonnin goes in search of Britain’s biggest spider (r)
1.40 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder. Criminal
barrister Robert Rinder takes on real-life cases in a studio
courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal. David Dickinson
and the dealers head to the Potteries (r) 4.00 Tipping
Point. Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed quiz show
5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents the quiz 6.00
Paul O’Grady: For the Love of Dogs. A playful pug that
needs an operation to help its breathing difficulties (r)
6.30 Regional News; Weather 6.45 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 6.55 Frasier (r)
(AD) 7.50 FILM: Animals United (U, 2010) A group
of assorted animals whose habitats have been destroyed
by humans resolve to do something about it. Animated
comedy with the voices of James Corden and Stephen Fry
9.40 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 10.35 The Simpsons
(r) (AD) 12.05pm FILM: Romancing the Stone (12,
1984) A romantic novelist travels to South America to
save her kidnapped sister, and ends up seeking lost
treasure with a fortune hunter. Comedy adventure with
Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner 2.10 Countdown.
With the food critic Jay Rayner 3.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun. The reality television star Louie Spence and
his husband look for a property in Almeria, Spain (r) 4.00
A New Life in the Sun. Bad weather threatens to end a
Scottish couple’s dream business in Spain. Last in the
series 5.00 Four in a Bed. The B&B owners meet for the
last time to settle some scores (r) 5.30 Star Boot Sale.
Athlete Colin Jackson puts items up for sale 6.00 The
Simpsons. Marge joins a women’s group (r) (AD) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Myra offers Sienna some words of advice.
Meanwhile, Ryan asks Glenn for help (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff 11.10 Can’t
Pay? We’ll Take It Away. The agents try to recover more
than £12,000 owed by a jeweller to one of his suppliers
(r) 12.05pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.10 Home and Away:
Buried Alive (AD) 12.40 Neighbours (AD) 1.10 FILM:
Shenandoah (PG, 1965) A Virginian farmer is left to
raise seven children after his wife dies. He tries to keep
his family out of the American Civil War, but when Union
troops abduct his son, and his son-in-law enlists with the
Confederates, he is dragged into the conflict. Western
starring James Stewart and Doug McClure 3.15 FILM:
The Searchers (U, 1956) An American Civil War
veteran sets out to find his niece, who has been abducted
by a renegade Comanche tribe. His search takes him many
years, and during the long quest his travelling companion
starts to wonder if he intends to rescue her or kill her.
John Ford’s Western starring John Wayne, Natalie Wood,
Jeffrey Hunter and Vera Miles 5.30 Neighbours. Jack
urges Paige to make peace with Mark as she prepares to
leave (r) (AD) 6.00 Home and Away: Buried Alive. Robbo
remembers all the details from his past and decides to
turn himself in (r) (AD) 6.25 5 News Tonight
7.00 The Repair Shop Jay Blades and the
team restore a silver art nouveau
mirror. Last in the series
7.00 Emmerdale Jimmy is embroiled in a
power game, Laurel covers her true
feelings, and Vanessa learns the
results of her inspection (AD)
7.30 Coronation Street The truth about
Pat finally catches up with Eileen, and
Tyrone and Fiz are shocked to realise
Hope and Ruby have disappeared (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
8.00 Love Your Garden The team heads to
Bolton to surprise a 39-year-old RSPCA
officer and turn her garden into an
animal-friendly haven (4/6) (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Eileen confronts
Pat, and Peter and Leanne believe
there has been an improvement
in Simon’s behaviour (AD)
8.00 Britain’s Favourite Food Simon
Rimmer recounts how the UK became a
nation of convenience-food lovers,
looking at Cadbury’s Smash and its
accompanying television advertisement
and uncovering how the alcoholic
beverage industry got women drinking,
with Babycham (2/2) (AD)
8.00 Britain’s Great Cathedrals with
Tony Robinson New series. The actor
visits six of the UK’s finest cathedrals
beginning with York Minster, which has
been a backdrop to some of the most
dramatic events in British history.
See Viewing Guide (1/6)
9.00 Fast & Furious 7 (12, 2015) After
defeating Owen Shaw and his crew and
securing amnesty for their past crimes,
Dom, Brian and the rest of the team
return home to live normal lives again.
However, Shaw’s older brother Deckard
— a rogue special forces assassin
vows revenge on Dom, who he holds
responsible for leaving Owen in a
coma. Action thriller sequel starring
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jason Statham
and Michelle Rodriguez (AD)
9.00 Gogglebox Capturing the households’
instant reactions to what they are
watching on television from the
comfort of their own sofas (AD)
9.00 Jane McDonald & Friends
The vocalist Elkie Brooks and the actor
and theatre star Lee Mead join the
host, her band and dancers for an
all-singing-and-dancing party. Just as
in Jane’s touring shows, the audience
members form an integral part of
proceedings by joining in the fun (4/5)
10.00 Will & Grace A baby shower leads the
duo to question their life choices.
Jennifer Lopez guest stars
11.50 Bear’s Mission with
Anthony Joshua (1/2) (r) (AD)
10.00 Lee and Dean New series.
Sitcom written by and starring
Miles Chapman and Mark O’Sullivan.
See Viewing Guide (1/5) (AD)
10.30 8 Out of 10 Cats Aisling Bea is
joined by Alex Brooker and Katherine
Ryan, while Rob Beckett teams up with
Natalie Cassidy and Tom Allen to
discuss the nation’ss favourite holidays.
Jimmy Carr hosts (7/11) (r)
11.15 Rob Beckett’s Playing for Time
New series. The host and guest
Scarlett Moffatt celebrate the 1980s,
looking back at the music, fashion and
pop of the era (1/4) (AD)
11.50 Rude Tube Alex Zane features an
acclaimed classroom prank (7/10)
12.40am The Durrells Louisa and Larry receive the
devastating news that Aunt Hermione has died in her
sleep. Meanwhile, Leslie decides that he wants to be with
Dionisia — but it turns out that Daphne is pregnant with
his child (r) (AD) 1.30 Jackpot247. Interactive gaming
3.00 Take on the Twisters (r) 3.50-6.00 ITV Nightscreen
12.45am FILM: The Woman in Black — Angel of
Death (15, 2014) Horror sequel set during the Second
World War starring Helen McCrory and Jeremy Irvine
2.25 Electric Dreams: Safe and Sound (r) (AD, SL) 3.25
Damned (r) (AD, SL) 3.50 The Question Jury (r) 4.45
Coast vs Country (r) (AD) 5.40-6.10 Streetmate (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am GPs: Behind Closed Doors.
A patient offers an insight into his ongoing battle with
alcoholism (r) (AD) 4.00 The X-Files. Mulder and Scully
investigate human organ theft (r) (AD) 4.45 House
Doctor. A property in Somerset (r) (SL) 5.10 Great
Artists (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
7PM
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7.00 The One Show The final edition of
the week, featuring the usual mix of
showbiz guests and stories about
people in extraordinary circumstances
8PM
7.40 The Silent Child (U, 2017)
Short film starring Maisie Sly
and Rachel Shenton (AD)
8.00 EastEnders Ted realises how much he
takes Joyce for granted, and Jean
decides to stay in Walford (AD)
9PM
8.30 Room 101 Stephen Mangan, Phil
Wang and Holly Walsh share their
gripes with Frank Skinner (6/9)
9.00 MasterChef The nine cooks vie for
three semi-final places (AD)
Late
11PM
10PM
9.30 Mrs Brown’s Boys Cathy refuses to
introduce her boyfriend, and Mark
will not talk about why his wife
has thrown him out (2/6) (r)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.20 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.30 Spooks: The Greater Good (15,
2015) A terrorist escapes custody
during a prisoner handover when the
convoy he is being transported in is
attacked, leading to a CIA operative
being killed and relations becoming
frayed between British and American
intelligence agencies. MI5 officer Will
Holloway must team up with disgraced
intelligence chief Harry Pearce to
track him down before an imminent
terrorist attack on London. Spy thriller
starring Kit Harington, Peter Firth,
Lara Pulver, Tuppence Middleton,
Jennifer Ehle, Elyes Gabel, David
Harewood and Tim McInnerny (AD)
12.15am-6.00 BBC News
7.30 Mastermind: The Final John
Humphrys introduces the 2018 final of
the specialist and general knowledge
quiz. The specialised subjects are golf
majors, the revolt of the Netherlands,
the Hannibal Lecter novels of Thomas
Harris, US constitutional amendments,
Indian Premier League cricket and
Hadrian’s Wall. Last in the series
8.30 Gardeners’ World Monty Don begins
to mark out a brand new area at
Longmeadow, while Carol Klein delves
into the botany of the hellebore
9.00 Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago
As the seven famous faces near the
end of their 780km trek, they consider
whether the experience has led to any
lasting change within themselves.
Narrated by Lee Ingleby (3/3) (AD)
10.00 Episodes New series. Comedy starring
Matt LeBlanc and Stephen Mangan.
See Viewing Guide (1/7) (AD)
10.30 The Assassination of Gianni
Versace: American Crime Story
Andrew Cunanan invites himself to
stay in Minneapolis with friends David
Madson and Jeff Trail (5/9) (r) (AD)
11.25 The Way (12, 2010) A doctor decides
to complete the historical journey
through the Pyrenees that his son died
while making. Comedy drama based on
the book by Jack Hitt starring Martin
Sheen and Deborah Kara Unger
1.25am Sign Zone: Civilisations Simon Schama
explores the depiction of nature, and how landscape
painting is seldom a straightforward description of
observed nature but rather a projection of dreams and
idylls (r) (AD, SL) 2.25-3.10 The Assassination of
Gianni Versace: American Crime Story (r) (AD, SL)
11.30 ITV News
7.30 Food Unwrapped Jimmy Doherty,
Kate Quilton and Matt Tebbutt revisit
their favourite investigations, as Kate
sees how coconut oil is extracted (AD)
6.35 Kensington Palace: Fit for a
Princess A look at the history and
notable past residents of Kensington
Palace, a royal family home that has
witnessed sadness, scandal and
tragedy; followed by 5 News Update
10.30 Football on 5: The Championship
Colin Murray introduces highlights of
the latest games, including Barnsley v
Bristol City at Oakwell, Reading v
Queens Park Rangers at Madejski
Stadium, and Derby County v
Sunderland at Pride Park
11.30 Football on 5: Goal Rush
Colin Murray introduces all the
goals from the latest games
in Leagues One and Two
the times | Friday March 30 2018
17
1G T
television & radio
The Nineties
Sky Arts, 9pm
The latest series in
this regular strand,
exploring the defining
features of the 20th
century’s final decades,
arrives and it’s slightly
amazing how the 1990s
already seem like
history. Tonight’s first
episode looks at
television in an era that
stretched the limits of
what the medium could
be. Twin Peaks was
another level of weird,
MTV was getting more
surreal and satirical
and, by putting the fun
in dysfunctional, The
Simpsons was drawing
criticism from
President Bush —
there was no higher
mark of success. Then
HBO exploded. It’s a
well-cultured hour
of US nostalgia.
Episodes
BBC Two, 10pm
Matt LeBlanc (as Matt
LeBlanc), Stephen
Mangan, Tamsin Greig
and all the usual
Hollywood grotesques
return for the fifth and
final series of this
sardonic, bluntly risqué
comedy sending up the
Los Angeles media
industry. LeBlanc has
been reduced to
hosting an overblown
game show, The Box,
while our scriptwriting
Brits abroad, Sean
(Mangan) and Beverly
(Greig), are forced to
work for the heinous
“douche nozzle” Tim.
With LeBlanc sleeping
with a contestant and
jokes about Jewishness,
it’s a show unafraid to
go near the knuckle,
but with a distinct ring
of truth to the vanity.
Lee and Dean
Channel 4, 10pm
Mockumentary is a
well-worn style for TV
comedy, but as the
BBC’s People Just Do
Nothing and This
Country show, it can
still prove a winning
trick. Lee and Dean is
the latest to send up
ordinary lives, in this
case that of Stevenage
builders Lee (Miles
Chapman) and Dean
(Mark O’Sullivan).
Dean is as dim as a
toolbox, while Lee is
a ladies’ man whose
geezer charm provides
the thrust of the first
episode after he flirts
with a posh client over
her kitchen taps. With
a requisite touch of
sentimentality, it’s
hardly reinventing the
form, but it instantly
inhabits its own world.
Sports Choice
Sky Main Event, 5.30pm
The race to the
Premier League is on
as Middlesbrough play
Wolverhampton
Wanderers at the
Riverside Stadium
(kick-off 5.30pm). To
follow, Derby County,
also in the play-offs,
play relegationthreatened Sunderland
(kick-off 7.45pm).
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am The Dog Whisperer (r) 7.00 RSPCA
Animal Rescue (r) (AD) 8.00 Motorway Patrol
(r) (AD) 9.00 Road Wars (r) 10.00 Warehouse
13 (r) 11.00 David Attenborough’s Conquest of
the Skies (r) (AD) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 2.00 Road Wars (r)
3.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1
(r) 5.00 The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r)
6.00 Futurama. Celebrating a trio of holidays (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Four episodes (r)
8.30 Modern Family. Mitch and Cam
accidentally ruin Luke’s date
9.00 In the Long Run. Walter’s brother is about
to turn his family’s quiet life upside down (r)
9.30 In the Long Run. Walter arranges
a job interview for Valentine (r)
10.00 The Late Late Show with James Corden:
Best of the Week. Highlights of the show (r)
11.00 A League of Their Own (r) (AD) 12.00
Ross Kemp: Extreme World (r) 1.00am Brit
Cops: Law & Disorder (r) 2.00 Most Shocking (r)
4.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r) 5.00 Futurama (r)
6.00am The British (r) (AD) 7.00 Urban Secrets
(r) 8.00 Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r) (AD)
1.00pm Without a Trace (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00 House.
A patient with a rare brain condition (r) (AD)
6.00 House. The doctor is treated for
his pain-medication addiction (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
A scuba diver’s death arouses suspicion (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Baez’s life hangs in the
balance after the case she and Danny are
working on takes a turn for the worse (r)
9.00 Game of Thrones. Davos demands to see
proof of Melisandre’s power (r) (AD)
10.15 Game of Thrones. Lord Walder Frey plays
host to a long-awaited wedding (r) (AD)
11.20 Game of Thrones. Joffrey stands up to his
grandfather, and Daenerys discovers if she is
seen as a conqueror or liberator (r) (AD)
12.45am Mosaic (r) 1.45 The Sopranos (r)
2.45 Dexter (r) 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Customs UK (r) 9.00 Children’s
Hospital (r) (AD) 11.00 The Biggest Loser:
Australia 12.00 Children’s Accident & Emergency
(r) 5.00pm The Real A&E (r) (AD)
6.00 The Real A&E. Free runner John breaks his
heel after jumping 10ft from a bridge (r) (AD)
7.00 The Real A&E. Paramedics help a
motorcyclist trapped under a lorry (3/10) (r)
8.00 America’s Next Top Model. Reality series in
which aspiring models compete for a potentially
lucrative contract. Hosted by Tyra Banks
9.00 The Good Doctor. The team tries to find the
truth behind a college student’s unexplained
injuries before his condition worsens
10.00 Nashville. Darius helps Juliette
unlock a dark truth about her past
11.00 Criminal Minds. An auction-acquired
self-storage unit holds sinister contents (r)
12.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
1.00am Cold Case (r) 2.00 Blindspot (r) 3.00
Criminal Minds (r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
(AD) 5.00 The Biggest Loser: Australia (r)
6.00am The Glyndebourne Opera Cup 9.30
Landscape Artist of the Year 2016 10.30 Video
Killed the Radio Star (AD) 11.00 The Eighties
(AD) 12.00 Discovering: Laurence Olivier
(AD) 1.00pm Jesus of Nazareth 3.00
Portrait Artist of the Year 2018
6.00 Discovering: Albert Finney (AD)
7.00 Johnny Cash: Song by Song (AD)
7.30 Dolly Parton: Song by Song (AD)
8.00 Video Killed the Radio Star (AD)
8.30 Discovering: Blur. Charting the career of
one of Britain’s biggest indie rock bands (AD)
9.00 The Nineties. New series. Exploring the
decade’s cultural and political milestones,
beginning with its television. See Viewing Guide
10.00 Music Videos That Defined the ’90s.
A look at the most memorable videos
of the decade. See Viewing Guide
11.00 Dire Straits: On the Night
1.00am Deep Purple with Orchestra: Live at
Montreux 2011 3.15 30 Degrees in February
4.30 Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 5.00 Auction
6.00am Live Test Cricket: New Zealand v
England. Coverage of the first day of the Second
Test in the two-match series 7.30 Live Super
Rugby: Chiefs v Highlanders (Kick-off 7.35).
Coverage from Waikato Stadium in Hamilton,
New Zealand 9.30 Live Test Cricket: South
Africa v Australia. Coverage of the first day of
the fourth and final test match 12.45pm Live
Betfred Super League: Hull Kingston Rovers v
Hull FC (Kick-off 12.50). From KCOM Craven
Park 3.00 Live Betfred Super League: St Helens
v Wigan Warriors (Kick-off 3.15). From Totally
Wicked Stadium 5.30 Live EFL: Middlesbrough v
Wolverhampton Wanderers (Kick-off 5.30)
7.30 Live EFL: Derby County v Sunderland
(Kick-off 7.45). Coverage of the
Championship encounter at Pride Park
10.15 JD Ringside: The Countdown.
Anthony Joshua and Joseph Parker weigh in
10.45 Live Test Cricket: New Zealand v England.
Coverage of the second day of the second Test
in the two-match series, at Hagley Oval
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 11.25pm The Quay
Sessions. Roddy Hart presents a selection of
Quay Sessions highlights, featuring Belle and
Sebastian, the Selecter, Field Music, and Adam
Holmes and the Embers 11.55-2.00am FILM:
The Way (2010) A doctor decides to complete
the historical journey through the Pyrenees
that his son died while making. Comedy drama
based on the book by Jack Hitt, starring Martin
Sheen, Deborah Kara Unger and James Nesbitt
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BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm World News Today; Weather
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1985. Featuring Dire
Straits, Princess, Go West, Phil Collins and
Amazulu. First aired August 8 1985 (r)
8.00 The Kate Bush Story: Running Up That Hill.
Documentary exploring the singer’s career and
music from her 1978 debut single Wuthering
Heights to her 2011 album 50 Words for Snow
with testimony from collaborators and fans (r)
9.00 Johnny Cash: The Man, His World, His
Music. Robert Elfstrom’s 1969 documentary
charting the career of Johnny Cash (r)
10.00 Arena: Bob Dylan — Trouble No More.
Hitherto unseen performance footage from the
early 1980s, in which the singer toured with a
repertoire solely of songs expressing his then
recently discovered faith. See Viewing Guide
11.00 Sings Dylan 2. Cover versions of Bob
Dylan songs from the 1960s to the present,
sourced from the BBC archives. Performers
include Joan Baez, the Hollies, Adele,
Bryan Ferry and KT Tunstall (r)
12.00 Top of the Pops: 1985 (r) 12.30am
Music for Misfits: The Story of Indie (r)
3.30-4.00 Top of the Pops: 1985 (r)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 7.00 Rules of
Engagement (r) 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (r)
(AD) 9.00 New Girl (r) (AD) 10.00 2 Broke Girls
(r) (AD) 11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (r) (AD)
12.00 The Goldbergs (r) (AD) 1.00pm
The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD) 2.00 The
Big Bang Theory: Weird Science (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Sienna surprises Joel (AD)
7.30 Extreme Cake Makers. Making an
edible replica of a dragon monument (r)
8.00 FILM: Fantastic Four (PG, 2005) Five
astronauts develop superhuman powers during
an energy storm in space, but one puts his
abilities to evil use. Sci-fi comic-book adventure
starring Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris
Evans, Michael Chiklis and Julian McMahon (AD)
10.00 Five Star Hotel: The Finale. The famous
faces compete for improved ratings at the end
of season party. Last in the series
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.00 First Dates (r) (AD) 1.05am Five Star
Hotel: The Finale (r) 2.10 Tattoo Fixers (r) 3.05
Gogglebox (r) (SL) 3.55 First Dates Abroad (r)
(AD) 4.20 Rules of Engagement (r)
8.55am Food Unwrapped (r) 9.30 A Place
in the Sun: Home or Away (r) 11.35 Four in a
Bed (r) 2.10pm Come Dine with Me (r) 4.50
A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r) 5.55
Kirstie and Phil’s Love It or List It (r)
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo. An outbreak of
disease in the penguin colony leaves one chick
fighting for its life (r) (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud meets Julie
and Mark Veysey, whose vision is a Miami-style
beach house overlooking the south Devon coast,
built to a budget of £200,000 (6/7) (r) (AD)
9.00 Rough Justice. The body of a man is found
in a forest, with the victim shot directly through
the heart. Later, a high-profile second person
is found in the same spot. In Flemish
10.05 24 Hours in A&E. An 86-year-old woman
is found to have lost five pints of blood after
collapsing at home (4/7) (r) (AD)
11.10 24 Hours in A&E. A 15-year-old boy is
brought to A&E following a stunt (5/7) (r) (AD)
12.15am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
Mike & Nellie’s Steakhouse in Oakhurst, New
Jersey (r) 1.15 24 Hours in A&E (r) (AD)
3.15-3.55 8 Out of 10 Cats (r)
11.00am Ever After: A Cinderella Story
(PG, 1998) Romantic drama starring Drew
Barrymore and Dougray Scott (AD) 1.25pm
Last Holiday (12, 2006) Comedy starring
Queen Latifah 3.40 Mrs Doubtfire (12, 1993)
Comedy with Robin Williams (AD)
6.05 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
(12, 2013) The victor in a televised battle to
the death returns to the arena to face other past
champions. Sci-fi adventure sequel starring
Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth (AD)
8.50 Paddy Considine: Journeyman Interview
Special. The actor discusses Journeyman (r)
9.00 Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (15,
2016) Five sisters in regency England try to find
suitable husbands while battling hordes of the
living dead. Comedy adventure with Lily James,
Sam Riley, Matt Smith and Charles Dance
11.10 Dead Man’s Shoes (18, 2004) A man
returns to his home town with his brother —
and it soon becomes clear he has a dark purpose.
Psychological thriller starring Paddy Considine
1.00am-3.25 One-Armed Swordsman (15,
1967) Martial arts action drama starring Jimmy
Wang and Lisa Chiao Chiao. In Mandarin
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals (r) 6.15
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r)
7.00 Who’s Doing the Dishes? (r) (AD) 7.55
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.55 Coronation Street (r)
(AD) 9.25 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 9.55
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r)
10.05 FILM: St Trinian’s 2 — The Legend off
Fritton’s Gold (PG, 2009) Comedy sequel
starring Rupert Everett 12.15pm Emmerdale (r)
(AD) 1.15 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 1.45
You’ve Been Framed! (r) 2.10 The Jeremy Kyle
Show (r) 4.30 FILM: Hop (U, 2011) Partanimated comedy starring James Marsden (AD)
6.20 FILM: The Amazing Spider-Man
(12, 2012) Superhero adventure reboot starring
Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone (AD)
9.00 FILM: Bridesmaids (15, 2011)
A disorganised woman takes charge of her best
friend’s bridal party, but the wife of the groom’s
boss causes problems. Comedy starring Kristen
Wiig, Rose Byrne and Melissa McCarthy (AD)
11.30 Family Guy (r) (AD) 12.30am American
Dad! (r) (AD) 1.25 The Keith and Paddy Picture
Show (r) 2.20 Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (r) 2.30 Teleshopping
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Judge Judy (r) 6.20 Lewis (r) (AD)
8.30 FILM: Man About the House (PG,
1974) Television comedy spin-off starring
Richard O’Sullivan 10.15 FILM: On the Buses
(PG, 1971) Comedy starring Reg Varney (AD)
12.00 FILM: Are You Being Served? (PG,
1977) Comedy based on the television series
starring John Inman 2.00pm FILM: The Likely
Lads (PG, 1976) Comedy based on the
television series starring James Bolam and
Rodney Bewes (AD) 3.50 FILM: That Riviera
Touch (PG, 1966) Comedy starring Morecambe
and Wise 5.50 Morecambe and Wise Forever (r)
6.55 Morecambe and Wise Forever (r)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s Marple. The sleuth
investigates a case of infanticide (r) (AD)
10.00 Hattie. Drama with Ruth Jones (r) (AD)
12.00 Morecambe and Wise Forever (r) (SL)
2.00am FILM: That Riviera Touch (PG,
1966) Comedy starring Morecambe and Wise
3.40 FILM: The Likely Lads (PG, 1976)
Comedy based on the television series starring
James Bolam and Rodney Bewes (AD) 5.10
Rising Damp (r) (SL) 5.35 ITV3 Nightscreen
6.00am The Chase (r) 6.50 Pawn Stars (r) 7.35
Ironside (r) (AD) 8.40 Quincy ME (r) 9.45
Minder (r) (AD) 10.50 The Saint (r) 11.55
FILM: Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
(PG, 1989) Time-travel comedy starring Keanu
Reeves and Alex Winter (AD) 1.45pm Live ITV
Racing: From Lingfield. Coverage of today’s races.
From Lingfield Park, races start at 2.00, 2.30,
3.05, 3.40, 4.10 and 4.40. From Newcastle, at
2.45, 3.20 and 3.55 5.00 Hornblower (r) (AD)
7.10 FILM: The Scorpion King (PG, 2002)
A warlord resolves to rid the desert of its last
remaining tribes, prompting them to seek the
aid of a legendary assassin. Fantasy action
adventure starring Dwayne Johnson (AD)
9.00 When English Football Ruled Europe.
A look at the period between 1981 and 1984
10.00 FILM: Cliffhanger (15, 1993) A retired
mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of
wits with a criminal searching for a lost fortune.
Thriller starring Sylvester Stallone (AD)
12.15am FILM: Driven to Kill (18, 2009)
Action thriller starring Steven Seagal (AD)
2.10 Fifth Gear (r) 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Storage Hunters
UK 9.00 Dynamo: Magician Impossible (AD)
9.55 Red Bull Soapbox Race 10.55 Deadly 60
11.55 Steve Backshall’s Extreme Mountain
Challenge 1.55pm Top Gear (AD) 3.20 Top Gear:
Africa Special. A search for the definitive
source of the Nile in Africa (AD)
6.00 Red Bull Soapbox Race. Coverage of the
offbeat event from Valkenburg, Holland
7.00 Cop Car Workshop. Inspector Dave
Corcoran calls on his friend to turn what
looks like a tug boat into a police vessel
8.00 Motorway Cops. Investigators deal with
a serious pile-up involving a 44-tonne lorry
9.00 FILM: Good Will Hunting (15, 1997)
A maths genius is befriended by a psychologist
who helps him come to terms with his unusual
talents and troubled past. Drama starring Matt
Damon, Robin Williams and Minnie Driver (AD)
11.35 Would I Lie to You? The Unseen Bits.
Previously unseen material from the panel show
12.15am Mock the Week 12.55 QI 1.35 Would
I Lie to You? At Christmas 2.10 Mock the Week
2.50 Suits (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am Hetty Wainthropp Investigates
6.00pm Hetty Wainthropp Investigates. The
sleuth is hired to find a missing schizophrenic
7.00 Hetty Wainthropp Investigates. Hetty tries
to find the person responsible for a spate of
arson attacks, and she begins by investigating
the activities of a neighbour’s foster daughter
whose absences from home coincide with the
fires. Patricia Routledge stars
8.00 Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries.
A gang leader is found dead outside a travelling
boxing tent leading Phryne’s investigating
into the dangerous world of fight rigging
9.00 WPC 56. DI Max Harper believes he has
enough evidence to connect the murders of
Rosie Turner and Daniel Pembrook, and Chief
Inspector Briggs is shocked to discover the
extent of Fenton’s deception (4/5) (AD)
10.00 Waking the Dead. When the only living
victim of a jailed killer becomes a target of
harassment, Boyd is given the chance to prove
his theory that the murderer had a partner (1/4)
12.25am Bergerac 2.35 Garden Hopping
3.10 Crusoe 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Secrets of the Bible 12.00
Nazi Victory: The Post-War Plan
6.00pm Hunting Down the Nazis. Documentary
about Nazi hunter Simon Wiesenthal (1/2) (AD)
7.00 Hunting Down the Nazis. Documentary
about Simon Wiesenthal, a survivor of the
Holocaust who dedicated his life to tracking
down the Nazi war criminals who had
escaped justice (2/2) (AD)
8.00 Who Do You Think You Are?
The DJ, actor and presenter Reggie Yates
sets out to trace his ancestry, keen to know
where his surname comes from (AD)
9.00 Steptoe and Son. Albert’s long-running
tax fiddle finally comes to light
9.40 Steptoe and Son. Harold seeks psychiatric
help after he tries to strangle Albert
10.20 Steptoe and Son. Harold divides the
house up to get some privacy
11.00 Secrets of the Bible. An insight
into some of the events in the Bible
12.00 Secrets of the Bible. Investigating the
Turin Shroud 1.00am The Golden Age of Canals
2.00 Secrets of the Bible 3.00 Home Shopping
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Velindre:
Hospital of Hope. New series. The work of the
staff at Cardiff’s pioneering cancer treatment
centre, following patients as they begin their
journey through treatment (1/4)
STV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 Peter &
Roughie’s Friday Football Show. Peter Martin
and Alan Rough round up the latest Scottish
Premiership action and preview the coming
weekend’s football 12.40am Teleshopping
1.40 After Midnight. News and conversation
3.10 Tenable. Five friends from Surrey
compete (r) 4.00 ITV Nightscreen 4.35 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.30-6.00 Teleshopping
UTV
As ITV except: 8.00pm-8.30 UTV Life. Pamela
Ballantine eases viewers into the weekend
with an entertaining and eclectic mix of stories
and studio guests 1.30am-3.00 Teleshopping
BBC Alba
5.00pm FILM: Òran na Mara (Song of the Sea)
(2014) 6.35 Machair (r) 7.00 An Là (News)
7.15 Binneas — Na Trads (r) 7.30 From Harris
with Love: Chi mi’n Tir (r) 8.00 Ar Duain (r)
8.30 Dealbhan Fraoich. Heather Dewar draws
a charcoal portrait of the musician Pàdruig
Morrison (r) 9.00 Frances: A Stri ri MS. Frances
O’Connell travels to Mexico for potentially
life-changing MS treatment (r) 10.00 Eithne:
Edar da Shaoghal. The Irish singer Eithne’s Ní
Uallacháin’s story, as told by family, friends and
fellow musicians (r) 10.50 Binneas: Na Trads.
Malinky play The Term Time at the 2015 event
(r) 10.55-11.55 Custer’s Last Stand.
Part one of two. Custer’s relationships with
the officers of the Seventh Cavalry (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Hafod Haul (r) 6.15
Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 6.25 Guto Gwningen (r)
6.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r) 6.50 Ty Mel (r)
7.00 Meic y Marchog (r) 7.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach
(r) 7.30 Nico Nôg (r) 7.40 Digbi Draig (r) 7.50
Twm Tisian (r) 8.00 Cymylaubychain (r) 8.10
Oli Wyn 8.20 Crads Bach y Traeth (r) 8.25 Cled
(r) 8.40 Marcaroni (r) 8.55 Bach a Mawr (r)
9.10 Stiw (r) 9.25 Yn yr Ardd (r) 9.35 Nodi (r)
9.45 Llan-ar-goll-en (r) 10.00 Hafod Haul (r)
10.15 Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 10.25 Guto
Gwningen (r) 10.40 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
10.50 Ty Mel (r) 11.00 Meic y Marchog (r)
11.15 Ysbyty Cyw Bach (r) 11.30 Nico Nôg (r)
11.40 Digbi Draig (r) 11.50 Twm Tisian (r)
12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Genod y
Carnifal (r) (AD) 12.30 Band Cymru 2018 (r)
1.30 Llys Nini (r) 2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Tu Hwnt i’r Tymbl (r)
4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Larfa (r) 5.05
Crwbanod Ninja (r) 5.30 Gogs (r) 5.35 Cog1nio
(r) 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Cwpwrdd
Dillad (r) 6.30 Celwydd Noeth (r) 7.00 Heno
8.00 Pobol y Cwm. DJ’s “friend” seems set to
make him late for his date with Non (AD) 8.25
Codi Hwyl. The itrepid sailors John Pierce Jones
and Dilwyn Morgan sail to Oban, where Dilwyn
gets tipsy on the city’s famous whisky, while
John cannot resist the haggis and a fried Mars
bar 9.00 Y Daith: Ein Dinas Sanctaidd Ni. Mike
Joseph and Sirajul Islam travel to the city of
Jerusalem — a place of great significance in
their Jewish and Muslim faiths respectively (r)
(AD) 9.30 Galw Nain Nain Nain. Warrington
nurse Fflur Hughes, originally from
Llanystumdwy, goes on three dates with the
help of her grandmother, Olwen Hughes 10.05
Y Stiwdio Gefn. Featuring songs from Cowbois
Rhos Botwnnog, plus performances by Crymych
band y Ffug and soloist Kizzy Crawford (r)
10.35-11.40 Parch. Myfanwy suspects she is
doing more harm than good (r) (AD)
18
Friday March 30 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
1
2
3
4
Codeword No 3297
5
6
7
19
2
2
11
8
9
10
19
12
25
19
6
22
8
11
7
24
17
7
6
8
7
13
14
15
16
5
24
8
7
8
24
15
7
12
Train Tracks No 369
19
23
20
19
15
8
23
4
7
7
6
17
25
2
6
6
7
5
15
8
4
8
4
15
1
4
3
2
6
5
2
3
4
7
15
9
© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7613
2
22
22
4
18
5
24
7
8
14
19
17
14
7
2
1
3
17
20
3
24
7
6
19
26
19
6
25
2
18
9
20
A
12
H
14
20
17
17
20
19
22
16
19
5
1
4
U
21
2
19
17
23
24
4
17
15
8
9
B
M
7
22
24
21
1 Mineral sodium chloride
(4,4)
5 Male deer (4)
8 Flood (an area) (5)
9 High singing voice (7)
11 Finale (3)
12 Extremely bad (9)
13 Action planned to achieve
a specific end (6)
Solution to Crossword 7612
S
M
I
T
H
7
13
7
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
23
Across
S
T
R
A
T
U
M
8
E P T UP L E
A N A
ENEGADE
D R D H
I ARA EQU
T R M
ADDER B A
U F
S N
A T SUMA
I
I
L
D T
N FO ADD I
U
E E
A L L
PRE S
DA
S
US
U
ER
E
DD
D I
C
T I
E
ER
I S
T
ER
A
RY
ER
O
OM
A
ON
C
V E
15 Former feast day (6)
18 Wild rose (9)
19 Small mouthful (3)
20 Partly coincide in time (7)
21 Very overweight (5)
22 Take notice of (4)
23 In the open air (8)
Down
1
2
3
4
6
7
10
14
16
17
18
19
Eg, beef (3,4)
Make unclear (5)
Very impressive (11)
Sheen, glow (6)
Small restaurant (3,4)
Merchandise; freight (5)
All-inclusive holiday (7,4)
Educational establishment
(7)
Overall head (7)
Make disappear (6)
Historical period (5)
Initiates the growth of (5)
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
Solve our new word puzzle
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clue-solving challenge
10
7
8
22
21
17
15
7
6
5
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
2
3
4
14
15
16
17
5
6
7
8
9
18
19
20
21
22
U
10
11
12
23
24
25
M
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
13
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
H
26
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
letters in the main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
Yesterday’s solution, right
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or
text TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution
call 0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Lexica No 4199
B
O
Y
Z
I
A
S
K
T
A
I
C
T
H
T
A
F
O
Y
U
R
O
T
A
N
N
O
L
T
H
U
O
M
Winners will receive a Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle and text in the numbers in the three
shaded boxes. Text TIMES followed by a space, then your
three numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your name, address
and postcode to 84901 (UK only), by midnight. Or enter
by phone. Call 09012 925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
by midnight. Leave your three answer numbers (in any
order) and your contact details.
No 4200
W
H
See today’s News section
W
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
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D
K
T
A
R
A
E
What are your favourite
puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
E
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce
a completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Difficult No 4289
Futoshiki No 3140
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
∨
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
7
Kakuro No 2099
<
∨
34
7
10
3
15
∧
>
∧
>
4
17
14
40
23
17
34
17
4
4
16
33
∧
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
17
26
17
16
23
14
17
>
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
39
4
16
>
<
4
17
∨
>
8
5
17
16
17
16
13
6
17
16
29
3
32
17
6
16
17
6
24
11
22
© PUZZLER MEDIA
18
the times | Friday March 30 2018
19
1G T
MindGames
As an example of the profound
preparation that elite modern
grandmasters undertake, the position after White’s 21st move in
today’s game (see diagram) was
all part of White’s preparation.
Grandmaster Wesley So had anticipated the reply 21 ... Nd7 but his
opponent played differently.
White: Wesley So
Black: Lev Aronian
FIDE Candidates, Berlin 2018
________
á DqD 4kD]
àD D g 0p]
ßpD Dph D]
Þhr0 D D ]
Ý 0 DPD D]
ÜD D GNDP]
ÛR) H )PD]
ÚD DQ$ I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
21 ... Qb7
As indicated in the introduction, 21 ... Nd7 is possible here but
there is nothing much wrong with
the move played.
22 b3 Kh8
This doesn’t do much for the
black position. The cold-blooded
22 ... Nxe4 is better as after 23
Nxe4 Qxe4 24 Bxc5 Qb7 the
game is equal.
23 Qc2 Nd7 24 Rea1 Bd8 25 Nc4
Nxc4 26 Qxc4 Bf6 27 Rd1 Qc6
28 Rad2 Nb6 29 Qc2 Qc7 30 e5
Now 30 ... Bxe5 is met by 31
Ng5, hitting e6 and h7.
30 ... Be7 31 Nd4 Rc8 32 Nxe6
This is a bit too fancy. White
should simply capture on b5.
32 ... Qxe5 33 Nf4 Rf8
A better defensive resource is
33 ... Kg8.
34 Re2
Now White gains firm control
in the centre.
34 ... Qc3 35 Qb1 Qf6 36 Bc1
Although White’s pieces have
been involved in a mass retreat,
he now controls all the important
files and diagonals and Black’s
pieces are scattered around the
edges of the board.
36 ... c4 37 bxc4 Nxc4 38 Re6 Qg5
Black is obliged to walk into
this discovered attack as 38 ... Qf7
is crushed by 39 Rd7.
39 Ng6+
A decisive gain of material. However, Black’s passed queenside
pawns allow him to continue to
resist.
39 ... Qxg6 40 Rxg6 hxg6 41 Qe4
Bf6 42 Qxc4 b3 43 Ba3 Rfb8 44
Rb1 b2
If Black had a better structure
on the kingside he may have
some chances to save the game as
his pawn on b2 is so strong.
45 h4 Ra5 46 Qd3 Rd8 47 Qb3
Rc8 48 Qb7 Rd8 49 Qb3 Rc8 50
Qb4 Rb5 51 Qg4 Rc3 52 Bxb2
Rxb2 53 Rxb2 Rc1+ 54 Kh2 Bxb2
55 Qxg6 Ra1 56 g4 a5 57 Qh5+
Kg8 58 Qb5 Ba3 59 Qe5 Rd1 60
Qe6+ Kh7 61 Qe4+ Kh8 62 Qa8+
Kh7 63 Qxa5
The loss of the a-pawn removes
any possible hope that Black could
save the game.
63 ... Bd6+ 64 Kg2 Rd4 65 Qf5+
Kh8 66 Qh5+ Kg8 67 g5 Kf8 68
Qg6 Be7 69 Qf5+ Ke8 70 Kh3
Rd6 71 Qh7 Kf7 72 f4 Rd4 73
Qf5+ Ke8 74 Qe5 Rb4 75 Kg4
Kf8 76 Qf5+ Ke8 77 Qe6 Rd4 78
Qe5 Black resigns
________
á D D DkD] Winning Move
à0 DpDrDp]
ß D Dp1nD] Black to play. This position is from
Reykjavik 2018.
ÞDB) D D ] Friedel-Sundararajan,
Black has organised a powerful build-up of
ÝPD )QDpD] pressure against the white kingside, in
ÜD D Dr) ] particular targeting the f2-pawn. How did
ÛRD DR) D] he now power through?
ÚD D D I ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
EASY
18 + 6 x 2 + 6 ÷ 2 + 5 x 2 – 12
MEDIUM
59 + 82 x 4
HARDER
Finessing, essentially card promotion when you have gaps, involves
leading from the opposite hand to
the card(s) you are trying to promote. You hope the opposing higher
card is in the second player’s hand,
ie playing before the card(s) you’re
trying to promote.
Take this attempt to promote
♣Q:
Dummy
West ♣Q52
East
----?♣K
?♣K
Declarer
♣A64
You lead ♣4 towards ♣Q (you can
cash ♣A first). If West holds ♣K,
you’ll make dummy’s ♣Q sooner
or later. If East holds ♣K “over”
♣Q, then you’ll not make ♣Q.
Like the toss of a coin, the chances
of promoting dummy’s ♣Q are 5050, depending purely on the
position of ♣K.
Try this:
Dummy
West ♦J2
East
?♦Q ----?♦ Q
Declarer
♦AK53
In an attempt to promote dummy’s
♦J, you must lead ♦3 towards it.
You hope West, playing second,
holds ♦Q. He can rise with ♦Q if
he wishes (and win the trick) but
♦J will win later.
Note it is totally wrong to lead
♦J (though a common mistake),
for whichever opponent holds ♦Q
will simply cover ♦J with ♦Q. You
cannot promote a card by leading
it.
+ 76 ÷ 2 + 59
114 x 6 + 664 x 3 + 192
7/
12
OF IT
+ 879
OF IT
80%
OF IT
+ 82 x 2
90%
OF IT
+ 865
W
N
E
1♠
Pass
1NT(1)
Pass
4♠ (3) End
3♠ (2) Pass
(1) The dustbin 1NT, used when holding a
weak responding hand (6-9 points) that is
not strong enough to go to the two-level.
(2) Repeating his six-card suit with a jump
to show 16+ points.
(3) Optimistic.
3
4
4 5
2
2
From these letters, make words of four
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 14 words, average;
19, good; 25, very good; 31, excellent
2
x
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
2
4
7
5
x
Enter each of
x
= 160 the numbers
x
x
+
= 12
-
+
1
=
57
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
We’ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
sum should be
calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
-
-
Yesterday’s answers mopy, paroxysm,
posy, poxy, pram, pray, proa, prom,
prosy, proxy, ramp, rasp, raspy, romp,
ropy, samp, soap, soapy, spam, spar,
spay, spray, spry, yomp
-
=1
=
9
=
8
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Killer Moderate No 5935
15
8
14
10min
8
18
16
11
7
8
16
10
13
16
21
7
Quick Cryptic 1058
U S
T
A R
A
E N
G
I L
L E
L
W
D I L
L
B L U
3
11
9
Solutions
P
I
L
O
T
E
D
23
10
HC A
R
K
C
H
E R I
T
A T E
G C
O
T
N
I GE
S
B
B
E
13
3
4
7
22
11
17
17
13
23
10
10
1
4
5
2
6
8
9
7
3
3
8
2
4
9
7
5
6
1
7
9
6
3
1
5
4
8
2
6
5
1
9
7
2
3
4
8
4
2
8
6
3
1
7
5
9
S T
M
E A
L
T
E
R S
T
S E
W
L A
R
E D
2
6
4
1
5
9
8
3
7
8
1
9
7
4
3
6
2
5
5
7
3
8
2
6
1
9
4
22
11
56min
24
7
12
12
11
28
30
18
7
9
30
8
12
17
21
9
x
-
3
+
5
+
+
1
-
-
4
-
2
+
7
2
9
8
1
6
4
3
5
3
5
6
4
2
9
7
8
1
1
8
4
7
3
5
6
9
2
6
3
8
5
4
1
9
2
7
4
1
2
3
9
7
8
5
6
9
7
5
6
8
2
1
4
3
8
4
7
1
5
3
2
6
9
5
9
1
2
6
8
3
7
4
2
6
3
9
7
4
5
1
8
23
6
3
4
5
2
7
8
1
9
7
8
9
6
4
1
5
2
3
2
1
5
9
8
3
4
7
6
9
2
8
4
7
6
3
5
1
3
7
1
8
5
2
9
6
4
5
4
6
3
1
9
7
8
2
1
9
3
7
6
5
2
4
8
4
6
7
2
9
8
1
3
5
8
5
2
1
3
4
6
9
7
23
11
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
2
7
8
4
9
1
3
6
5
6
9
3
2
5
7
8
1
4
1
5
4
3
8
6
9
2
7
8
4
9
7
6
2
1
5
3
5
2
1
8
3
9
7
4
6
7
3
6
1
4
5
2
8
9
9
1
7
5
2
4
6
3
8
4
8
2
6
7
3
5
9
1
3
6
5
9
1
8
4
7
2
7
3
6
5
2
8
9
1
4
1
5
9
4
6
7
2
3
8
5
6
4
7
8
1
3
2
9
3
1
2
6
5
9
8
4
7
8
9
7
2
3
4
6
5
1
6
8
3
1
4
2
7
9
5
2
7
1
8
9
5
4
6
3
9
4
5
3
7
6
1
8
2
E
V
N
C
S P
R
L O
J
U E
C
C T
U
B
I
Q
U
I
T
O F F
U
R
S L A
L
I
Y C L
O T
O
OM
B
L
S
I M
A
E R
T
V E
R
E
9 7
8 9 7
8 9
1 6 2
2 4
2 1
8
2 6 4
6 8 9
9 7
1 2 3
5 1 2
6
7 8
8 1 9
8 9
4
3
9 7
9 6 7
7 8
7
5 6 9
9 7 8
3
8
9
7
6
1
2 1
4 6
2
7
2 3
1 9
4 8
5
1
3
4
3
4
6
3
x
7
9
2
5
2
A
3
1
4
5
+
7
2
1
Train Tracks 368
Quintagram
1 Pawn
2 Tweak
3 Sandal
4 Hawthorn
5 Harper Lee
5
6
1
P
R
A
Y
O
F
I
X
N
E
O
O
A
D
T
T
E
E
C
R
4
1
2
A
L
Futoshiki 3139
4
2
3
2
5
1
3
∧
4
5
1
4
2 > 1
∧
3
5
∧
5
3 >
KenKen 4288
O
B
A
D
F
5
1
∨
3 < 4
Cell Blocks 3179
Lexica 4198
F
R
D
N
O
D
O
G
V
E
E
3
D
T
R
12
2
3
4
4
4
3
2
6
6
Suko 2198
Word watch
Brain Trainer
Paroemia (c) A
proverb; an axiom
Puggle (a) To stir
up by poking
Phlogiston (c) A
hypothetical
substance in
combustible
materials, released
in burning
2
Easy 48
Medium 996
Harder 3,104
Chess
Killer 5934
4
2
8
9
1
3
5
7
6
E
B
Killer 5933
20
x
F
Sudoku 9764
10
R S
C
T H
I
S
M
Y
F
OR
E
E
Z
R E
Lexica 4197
Killer Deadly No 5936
20
E
S
X
T
A
O
S
C
P
K
E
E X P I R
D
A
A
ORA T
D
K
I
RH I NO
A
N
N
YOGA
8
Sudoku 9763
19
AD V
O
OWP
S
H E A
Set Square 2101
9
3
7
5
8
4
2
1
6
Kakuro 2098
Codeword 3296
R T
G I
H
U
R E AMT
S
F E
H
S
O L
CH E E
A
V
E L E V I
A
T
GA
N T
O
T
I RD S E
Sudoku 9762
Contract: 4♠ , Opening Lead: ♣Q
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
8
4
Set Square No 2102
S
Declarer won West’s top-of-asequence ♣Q lead with ♣K and
led ♠ 2 towards ♠ J. Any other
spade play would give West a second spade trick. West elected to
play second-hand-low and ♠ J won,
declarer’s first winning finesse.
Declarer crossed to ♠ AK and,
leaving ♠ Q out, cashed ♦A and
led ♦5 towards ♦Q. With West
holding ♦K, ♦Q was promoted.
West decided to rise with ♦K,
cash ♠ Q and lead ♣J. Winning
♣A, declarer tried his third finesse.
He led ♥2 towards ♥K. With East
holding ♥A, ♥K was promoted.
East chose to rise with ♥A but
declarer could ruff his ♣8 return,
cash ♥K and cross to ♦Q. Ten
tricks and game made — thanks to
three winning finesses.
80%
OF IT
2
© PUZZLER MEDIA
11
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
♠J 3
♥8 7 3 2
♦Q 4 2
♠ Q 9 8 7 ♣A 5 3 2 ♠ 10
N
♥Q 10
♥A J 9 6 4
W E
♦K 10 8
♦J 9 6 3
S
♣Q J 10 7
♣8 6 4
♠A K 6 5 4 2
♥K 5
♦A 7 5
♣K 9
+9
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
Beginner Corner 49
More Finessing
+ 1/2
OF IT
3/
4
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Deep preparation
Cell Blocks No 3180
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1 ... Rxg3+! 2 fxg3
(2 Kf1 avoids
immediate mate
but after 2 ... Qh4
White will not
survive long) 2 ...
Qf1+ 3 Kh2 Qh3+
4 Kg1 Rf1 mate
Quiz
1 It’s a Long Way to Tipperary 2 Northumberland
3 Greta Garbo 4 Roquefort 5 James Herriot
6 Apple 7 Ira Aldridge 8 Charles Lindbergh
9 Pretty in Pink 10 Jessica Alba 11 Brian Cox
12 Khazaria or Khazar Khaganate 13 Guadalajara
14 Baseball 15 Anna Kournikova
30.03.18
MindGames
Sudoku
Mild No 9765
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
Difficult No 9766
3
9
1 8 6 3
3
5
8 9
3 2
5 4
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
6
1
2
8 4
8
4
6 3 8
6
9
1 4 2 7
8
9
5
1
7
6
9
5
Puggle
a To stir up
b A crossbreed
c A fastening
Phlogiston
a A conundrum
b A long journey
c A combustible
substance
Answers on page 19
4
PUZZLER MEDIA
Paroemia
a Hair loss
b The supernatural
c A proverb
Fiendish No 9767
8 9
4
2
1 5
2
5
1
6 8
9
4
3
7
2 9
4 2
4
8 5
6
5
1 4 9
8 3
5 9
1 6
7 8
8 7
3 4
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2198
MICHAEL BUCKNER/GETTY IMAGES
1 Which 1912 song says
“goodbye, Piccadilly”
and “farewell, Leicester
Square!”?
products firm, The
Honest Company?
11 Which physicist cohosts, with Robin Ince,
the Radio Four show The
Infinite Monkey Cage?
2 Kirkwhelpington,
Shilbottle, Haltwhistle
and Guyzance are
places in which county?
3 Which Swedish
actress is the first
person mentioned
in the Madonna
song Vogue?
12 In 968 or 969,
Sviatoslav I of Kiev
sacked Atil, the capital
of which Turkic state?
15
4 Made from ewe’s
milk, which French blue
cheese is aged in the
Combalou caves?
5 The 1978-90 TV
comedy-drama All
Creatures Great and
Small was based on the
novels of which writer?
6 Announced in 2017,
HomePod is a smart
speaker developed by
which US tech company?
7 Which American actor
(1807-67) is the subject
of the play Red Velvet by
Lolita Chakrabarti?
8 Philip Roth’s novel
The Plot Against
America imagines
the election of which
aviator as US president?
13 A Tapatio is a
native of which
Mexican city, the
capital of Jalisco state?
9 Which 1986 John
Hughes-scripted film is
named after a song by
the Psychedelic Furs?
14 Based in Gwangju,
the Kia Tigers have won
the Korean Series 11
times in which sport?
10 Which Sin City
star co-founded
the household
15 Which retired Russian
tennis player is pictured?
Answers on page 19
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1059 by Flamande
1
2
3
4
5
8
7
9
10
12
6
11
13
14
15
16
17
18
20
23
21
22
24
19
Across
1 Funny performer in company,
taking microphone briefly (5)
4 Type of vintage car:
commander takes girl aboard
(7)
8 Underground worker wants a
large fizzy drink (7)
9 Smell an earthling (5)
10 Lonely female at dance makes
a bloomer (10)
14 One saying nothing about
president’s principal attribute
(6)
15 Not entirely popular role (2,4)
17 Gymnastic feat: offer some
fresh water afterwards (10)
20 Part of Birmingham is home
for religious sect (5)
22 Remnant of undergarment I
get shortened (7)
23 Boat with less cargo? (7)
24 Stylish forms of transport
going into reverse (5)
Down
1 Invitation from business
leaders in Middle England (4)
2
3
4
5
6
7
11
12
13
16
18
19
21
Impressionist painter trimmed
long hair (4)
Old Spanish writer shattered a
TV screen (9)
Conservative supporter
recruiting millions with little
fuss (6)
Wood imported into Tashkent
(3)
Mates who run riot, to a
certain extent (8)
Building material — cement,
originally, on Greek island (8)
Communist supporters:
revolutionary listens in (9)
Cocktail in US school prom?
(8)
Beating bridge champion? (8)
More sober Greek holds party
(6)
Tamil uprising — leader goes
missing in capital city (4)
Criminal tendency (4)
Feverish and throaty from
time to time (3)
Yesterday’s solution on page 19
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