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The Times Times 2 7 September 2017

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September 7 | 2017
Ooh, Albert!
Tom Hughes, Sunday night crumpet, tells all
2
1GT
Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
times2
Electric on set,
Read this, Wills, and
you won’t look like
a school-run clown
Deborah Ross
T
his column is
for all those
fathers who
would like to look
“effortlessly chic
on the school run”
and would wish
to find “the best
school-run outfit” to help them
to “look and feel gorgeous”.
This has to be happy news
because fathers have been much
neglected in this area. It’s almost
as if no one cares what they
wear as they drop the kids off in
the morning or what they wear to
pick them up in the afternoon, to
the extent that they do, and this
must be hurtful. Actually, I know
that it is hurtful. If not beyond
hurtful. As one dad told me: “It’s
not just the indifference, or even
that we are completely missing
out on being judged in this way,
but aren’t we also being denied
the opportunity to teach our
children that our appearance is
the single most important thing
about us? How are our children
going to learn this important
lesson, if not by example?”
The pressure on mothers
to attain “school-gate chic” is
certainly plentiful — newspapers,
magazines, blogs and social media
devote significant space to the
subject, especially at the start
of the school year. All eyes will
undoubtedly be on what the
Duchess of Cambridge is wearing
when, if morning sickness allows,
she drops Prince George off at
school for the first time this week.
Poor William. No one will give a
stuff. Unless, of course, he chooses
to dress like a deranged clown
complete with big clown shoes.
But although a Palace insider told
us that was “unlikely”, this wasn’t
to say, we were further told, that
Congrats,
Kate! It’s
a . . . baby
he wasn’t looking forward to the
day when he can read about “the
six most fashionable dads on
Instagram” or “the top five
celebrity school-run dads”.
So, fathers, to redress the
balance and ensure that you
aren’t blanked at the school gate,
The right or
wrong look can
make or break
friendships
which can happen, given that
“the right or wrong look can
make or break parent friendships”,
here are some of the fashion
tips being offered to school-run
mums, but adapted just for you:
Jeans: high-waisted jeans are
“great for accentuating your
shape and elongating your legs”
and will also “add a sophisticated
flourish to any father’s look when
The Duchess of
Cambridge, who will
be wearing something
or other when she takes
to dropping off Prince
George at school, is
expecting a third baby
and we’ll doubtless be
besieged by endless
updates on her
condition from here on
in, as well as endless
speculation as to the
nature of the birth.
I am no expert. I have
no inside scoop and
have never had a royal
baby, only a regular
one. However, I think
I can reveal that she
will have the baby as
follows: at some time
around her due date
They’re the stars of Victoria, but is
Tom Hughes and Jenna Coleman’s life
together mirrored in the dramatised
royal relationship, asks Andrew Billen
dropping off the little ones”.
(Nothing is said about whether
the “sophisticated flourish”
will withstand other activities;
probably best not to chance it.)
Trousers: A simple well-cut
black pair can be dressed up or
down and worn throughout any
season, so are a “must-have for
every busy dad”. Team with flats
and bold jewellery.
Coat: A full-length fox-trimmed
parka will turn “any school run
into a runway” and you’ll also be
much admired by “all the other
fathers in the playground”.
(There is no guidance as to
whether you should sashay
in and out, but why not?)
Hair: If you don’t have time
to style it properly then “draw
back into a simple ponytail and
fix with a Hillier Bartley bunny
hair bobble”. Adorable. So cute.
Knit: An oversized knit means
“a dad can run from the car to the
school gate while keeping warm”.
Which is good. (If you forget your
oversized knit then, obviously,
you’ll just have to tip the kids
out and drive on.)
Shoes: Every “yummy daddy
needs the right trainers” and “it’s
all about New Balance at the
moment”. Fact.
Scarf: A bright silk scarf,
double-looped at the neck,
“looks great and can help a dad
feel composed and confident”.
Certainly this tip has worked
for mums down the years.
Indeed, as one mum says: “I’m
a heart surgeon who drops the
kids off en route to performing
a day of operations and if I
didn’t wear a bright silk scarf
double-looped at the neck at the
school gate, I don’t know how
I’d have the composure or
confidence to do my job.”
she will go into labour
and experience
contractions of the
kind that will build in
strength until she feels
as if a cluster bomb and
several landmines are
going off in her uterus.
A midwife will then
want to jab her in
places that she’d rather
she didn’t. The midwife
will then tell Kate that
she is 0.00000007cm
dilated, and “isn’t
that grand?” William
will try to do something
well-meaning, but
useless, like wipe
a cold flannel over
her forehead as she
bites his arm through
to the bone.
Caesarean section
notwithstanding, this
will go on for some
hours until, finally, a
waxy blue thing with an
alien-shaped head will
be placed in her arms
and she’ll think: “Oh
God, not another one.”
How do I know this?
Because, although
the amount of a
coverage may make
you think otherwise,
giving birth isn’t that
new. It even predates
the iPhone, oven chips
and air travel, and
billions of women have
already done it. It’s
the way that it works,
royal or otherwise.
Speculation over.
T
he writer Daisy
Goodwin has barely
put a foot wrong in
translating Queen
Victoria’s reign into
a Sunday night ITV
hit. Perhaps Victoria’s
creator missteps
slightly, however, during the press
conference between the screening
of season two’s first episode and
my “exclusive” interview with Tom
Hughes, who plays Prince Albert. Her
mistake is to mention Elizabeth Taylor
and Richard Burton. “I think,” she
says, “Tom and Jenna, without
drawing any kind of comparisons,
have that electricity on screen.”
She is right. Jenna Coleman as
the young queen and Hughes as her
young German husband (at 31 and 32,
respectively, they are about ten years
older than their characters) do
electrify. The fizz between Burton and
Taylor’s Antony and Cleopatra and
their George and Martha in Who’s
Afraid of Virginia Woolf? was,
however, due to the actors’ volatile
off-screen romantic relationship.
Coleman and Hughes are also a
couple — the Daily Mail wonders the
next day if that’s an engagement ring
on Coleman’s finger — but the idea
that their romance may inform their
performance is a forbidden thought.
The stars have never uttered a public
word about their relationship and,
when the disappointing ratings for the
first episode came in, some vengeful
papers blamed their reticence for
viewer apathy. At the press conference
a brave journalist asks if their
“friendship” helped the “chemistry” on
set. Quickly recovering her diplomatic
skills, Goodwin self-sacrificingly says
that when writing, she is thinking of
her rows with her own husband.
Hughes and Coleman work at their
privacy. At the hotel in Yorkshire
where the Victoria cast stay, they
initially left the supper table separately
to avoid suspicion. I have heard their
relationship is, not unlike Victoria and
Albert’s, intense and sometimes vocal
— but that comes third-hand.
Talking to Hughes on location near
Ripon last year, where he was filming
series one, I noticed that this leading
man was strangely slow to praise his
leading lady. He had known Coleman,
“not particularly closely”, for a few
years because they were in the same
London crowd, but the important
chemistry was the characters’. The
giveaway, had I been alert, was
Hughes saying it helped that, as
Victoria, brown-eyed Coleman wore
blue contact lenses. Which man
knows the colour of a woman’s eyes
unless he is falling in love with her?
Today, meeting in a reception room
at the Ham Yard hotel in Soho, when
I ask if she and he talk about Victoria
and Albert’s relationship, he leaps up
to bolt the double doors to prevent
interruption — a little worryingly
because not long ago he played a
murderous psychopath in the BBC
Two serial Paula. (“You wouldn’t be
alarmed if I locked us in, would you?”)
Now, from time to time, the doors
rattle as waiters, mystified by what is
going on within, attempt to enter.
He answers that he has big
discussions with Goodwin because he
toils in service to her script. “So there’s
a lot of discussion with Daisy, and
[hurriedly] with Jenna.” He says there
is a little bit of the “anarchist” in him
that wants to “go against the grain”
and not do things in the obvious way.
And does Coleman work the same
way? “Well, it’s genuinely one of the
best things about working with Jenna
because, you know, if that’s the way
I’m going to approach things and I’m
going to bring unpredictability, then
that can only work if it works both
ways — otherwise the balance isn’t
right. It’s 100 per cent there.”
In episode one Victoria lobs a
hairbrush at Albert in frustration at
being left out of the political loop
while nursing her first child. The story
is that during one take Coleman threw
it with such violence it hurt. “Well, I
used to play the left wing, but maybe
I should have been in goal because I
batted it away most times. She caught
me once. I think it was my shoulder.
I can’t quite remember. We definitely
broke a couple [of hairbrushes].”
I should say that television’s most
mysterious interviewee is personally
very warm, very handsome and today
is well-dressed in a lightly checked
blue suit. His dark, wavy hair falls
stylishly towards an eyebrow. He has a
strong northwest accent, not quite
Scouse, which he says he has never
I’m not the most
vocal. I think
I am absolutely
quite private
used in a performance because finding
the character’s own voice is essential.
“There’s a fantastic painting by
Karl-Heinz Friedrich, which has a
solitary figure facing a landscape,” he
says, although he probably means one
by the German romantic painter
Caspar David Friedrich, Wanderer
above a Sea of Fog, because Karl-Heinz
Friedrich is a retired gymnast. “Myself
and Michael Howells, the production
designer, spoke at length about that
kind of being our visualisation of
Albert. It just seemed to encapsulate
something about his breath, something
about this moment in life that we’re
trying to capture in the story, being a
young man, being taken away from the
country that he would know.”
Albert was brought up in “relatively
rural north Germany”, he says
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
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times2
but what about in private?
GETTY IMAGES
(actually Schloss Rosenau is in central
Germany) and even in London would
retain “the breath of that man facing
nature”. Hughes, on the other hand,
comes from Chester, from what seems
to have been humble origins, went to a
comprehensive, then to Rada (which
his parents apparently discovered after
a purposeful visit to an internet café).
On leaving, he immediately worked in
film, theatre and TV. Did he ever feel
like an outsider too? “Not really.”
Is there any of him in Albert? “Of
course. Ultimately in the character
that you see in Victoria on Sunday
night there is, because I am the animal
fulfilling that role. I think what that
is is difficult to tell. I don’t feel
remotely like me when I put my
costume on and walk on to that set.
The rhythm, the thought, it’s a million
miles away in many, many ways.
There are probably similarities. I’m
not the most vocal. You mentioned
earlier that I’m quite private. I think
I am absolutely quite private.”
Is that just with the press, or is he
withholding (I use the most pejorative
adjective available) with his friends as
well? “Probably more private with
interviews and whatnot.”
Is it his instinct not to talk about
his feelings? “Oh, no. No, no. I think
when it’s necessary it’s very healthy
to discuss one’s feelings, in the right
situation, in the right environment
and with the right people.
“To go back to breath. I didn’t
just want to find a German accent.
I wanted to find Albert’s voice.”
He worked with a dialect coach and
fell asleep to recordings made by a
German actor. The accent is so good it
fooled Goodwin’s German mother-inlaw into thinking he was German. He
had to learn to ride and found that
harder. He liked the horses, but the
horses were not a “big fan” of him.
Does he have a routine to get into
character? “I get dressed usually
in isolation, and from then on I’ve
noticed that my rhythm, physically,
in everything is slightly different.”
Filming finished the day before
we meet. That morning he woke
at 6am and by 6.15 the moustache
was gone because it was “very much
part of someone who’s not me”. Yet
Albert’s long sideburns remain? “Well,
I am quite into Sixties music.”
Here lies a likely key to Hughes. He
has played the guitar since the age of
Tom Hughes and
Jenna Coleman
Victoria continues on
ITV on Sunday
five and later learnt the saxophone
and the cello. For Albert he mastered
the piano. In his youth he could
play the guitar for nine hours. He
writes music daily and lyrics weekly.
From the age of ten, in Chester, he
played in a band named Quaintways.
A YouTube video remains of him
strutting away on lead guitar in 2010.
One of his earliest film roles was
Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll, in which
he played the composer-musician
Chaz Jankel to Andy Serkis’s Ian Dury.
Hughes said at the time that it took
him a month to get over Jankel.
“I wanted to be him, without all
the pain and anguish, of course.”
The same year he had a decent
role in Ricky Gervais and Stephen
Merchant’s film Cemetery Junction. He
was Bruce, a self-destructive rock star
in every respect, except that Bruce was
not actually a musician. It was, Hughes
said shortly afterwards, his dream
character. Would he trade in acting to
be a rock star? He smiles. “No. Only
if I could do am-dram on the side.”
In those early interviews, Hughes
was a touch more open than he is
today. In one he said he played the
star role in Roald Dahl’s Fantastic Mr
Fox at school aged seven or eight and
afterwards told his parents he wanted
to do that “for ever”. In another, he
said he told them at 14 that he wanted
to leave school and pursue acting. As
a teenager he spent Friday nights at
Liverpool Everyman’s youth theatre.
He got to Rada on his second attempt
and was alarmed to discover his
teachers picking him apart.
Young actors frequently take
themselves seriously before the
indignities of their profession chip
away at their self-image. This has not
happened with Hughes. As a laugh,
Victoria cast members sometimes
google a 2009 ITV2 drama called
Trinity to watch Hughes kiss David
Oakes, who plays Albert’s roué brother
Ernest in Victoria. Hughes’s dull
comment to me is: “Playing brothers
after having played lovers is quite
funny. I think, you know, we were able
to hit the ground running in Victoria.”
Does he overthink life? “You asked
me that last time.” I must have
offended him, I say. “No, you didn’t. It
was quite the opposite. I just thought
it was astute, because we’d only spent
20 minutes together. I think everyone
in life is in danger of overthinking.”
I attempt a final personal question:
is he happy now? For a moment he
is fazed. The word “now” throws him,
he says. A lot has happened for him in
the past two years professionally and,
I say pointedly, personally.
“I think I feel on my rhythm, but
I’ve kind of always known my rhythm.”
And in a relationship as well, the
rhythm in that? “I think my rhythm
is my rhythm really.”
Except now it has to be shared,
doesn’t it? “It has to be shared at work.
It has to be shared in all forms of life.”
So, I say, he will not even tell me if
he is happy to be with Jenna Coleman.
I call that ungallant. He looks serious.
Very well, let me ask who he thinks is
more serious: Prince Albert or him.
“More serious? When I am working
probably me,” he replies and, for now,
that is the alpha and omega of ITV’s
very own Richard Burton.
The lowdown
Madonna
v FedEx
Grr! Isn’t it the most annoying thing
ever when you’re a global superstar
and someone doesn’t believe you?
Ugh, I know! Happens all the time.
Was that sarcasm? It’s such a fine
line with you Brits.
Yes, yes it was.
Haha. Awesome! I love you guys.
I’ll describe what it’s like: I was
expecting a delivery but I missed
it because I was really busy being
a pop star, so I called up FedEx to
arrange another day and . . .
Hang on — don’t you have minions
for this sort of admin?
Yeah, but you know me — I’m
Madonna, really down to earth,
your everyday kinda gal . . . So I
called and said, “Hiya! Madonna
here,” and the guy on the other end
said, “Haha, yeah, and my name’s
Prince! How can I help?”
It was really Prince? He faked his
death for a job at FedEx?
Wow. Remember sarcasm?
Oh, yeah . . .
Anyway, it went on like this for
ever. I told them everything about
me to prove it, but they told me
to get off Wikipedia. Rude!
So what did you do?
I did what any passive-aggressive
customer would do and turned
to the Twittersphere to publicly
shame them. I wrote: “When
you’ve been arguing with FedEx all
week that you really are Madonna
and they still won’t release your
package! #bitchplease” — and
accompanied it with a selfie of
me looking really moody, but
also pretty cool and rich.
Did it work?
Yeah! I got a tweet from customer
services. It said: “Hi, this is Julie.
I would like to help. Please DM
[direct message] your delivery
address, tracking and phone
numbers.” So I hit up Julie with
my deets and we instant messaged
for a while. Julie was awesome.
What a hero! So what’s in the parcel?
Sorry, who are you? Don’t you
know who I am?
Monique Rivalland
4
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Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
times2
How haute cuisine went vegan
‘Plant-based’ restaurants led by American chefs
and backed by billionaire investors are changing
the image of veganism. By Helena de Bertodano
M
atthew Kenney
places before me
a vibrant plate of
green dumplings,
drizzled with
a red juice.
“The kimchi
dumpling,” he
says with a flourish as he takes a seat
under an olive tree in the garden of his
flagship Los Angeles restaurant Plant
Food and Wine. “It’s a dish I created
six years ago: red cabbage kimchi with
sesame, cashew and ginger, wrapped
in young coconut with cilantro and
spinach, which is pureed and spread
thin and dehydrated. Then it’s topped
with a sesame-milk foam.”
I have a bite — it is sensational. I am
not vegetarian or vegan or plant-based.
(Plant-based takes vegan one stage
farther, eliminating all processed food.)
Before taking on this assignment I did
not know my kombucha from my
kimchi. If I thought about plant-based
food at all I would have assumed that
it meant eating a lot of kale and
blueberries. The dish before me makes
me think again. If plants can be woven
into food that tastes this good, then
I for one would like more of it.
Kenney, the world’s leading
plant-based chef, has just opened a
new restaurant in London, Essence
Cuisine in Shoreditch, serving a
multitude of imaginative dishes
including his signature heirloom
tomato lasagne (layers of courgette
and tomato topped with sundried
tomato marinara, pistachio basil pesto
and macadamia ricotta). It is part of a
wave of American plant-based cuisine
coming to London. The more casual
By Chloe, which is a hit in New York
with five outlets, is also opening in
Covent Garden this autumn, serving
its trademark guac burgers. London,
reckons Kenney, is ready. “It’s reaching
a tipping point. The intelligence and
awareness are there. In a blink there
will be a new food landscape.”
Meat, claims Kenney, will soon be as
socially unacceptable in restaurants
as smoking. “It will become the new
cigarette — where it’s just not cool
to consume it, at least not
factory-produced meat. It may sound
hard to imagine, but 20 years ago it
would have been hard to imagine
no smoking in restaurants. It may
not become illegal to
eat the way we eat
now, but it will
certainly be passé.”
With his culinary
schools and an online
cooking academy,
Kenney trains
plant-based chefs
from all over
the world. “Fast,
casual places like
Pret understand what
is happening,” says
Kenney, who is sipping
a kombucha (a probiotic tea).
“They sent one of their top
chefs to our school.” Last year
Pret a Manger opened a
meat-free version of its chain,
Veggie Pret, in London. It was
an experiment, but it proved so
successful that it soon opened
another and is planning more.
It helps that Kenney is a living
advertisement for the plant-based
way of life. Aged 53, he could easily
pass for being in his mid-thirties. Slim
with dark hair and an unlined face, he
says he still “gets carded” once in a
while — meaning that he is asked for
his ID when buying wine. “I don’t
think they think that I’m 21, but they
probably don’t think I’m so far over.”
Matthew
Kenney and,
right, vegan
lasagne
from Essence
Cuisine,
essencecuisine.com
In a blink there
will be a new
food landscape
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
5
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times2
ADRIAN MUELLER; MIKEY POZARIK
Veganism, the posh way
Matthew Kenney’s hearts
of palm ceviche
Serves 6
Ingredients
60ml lime juice, strained
60ml orange juice, strained
1 tbsp jalapeño pepper, seeded and
finely diced
1 tbsp Fresno chilli pepper, seeded
and finely diced
1 kaffir lime leaf, sliced very thinly
60ml olive oil
450g hearts of palm
Garnishes (see method)
Which
brings us to
wine. Perhaps
surprisingly, Kenney is a huge
advocate of wine and champagne and
says that he drinks a couple of glasses
most days. “It makes me happier,”
he says simply. “I love the taste and
the aroma and I think it really brings
out the flavours in this food.” At
Plant Food and Wine they have a
“champagne campaign” — half-price
bottles offered with weekend brunch.
That is key to what is going on here.
Nothing about Kenney’s restaurants
suggests an ascetic lifestyle. The food
and the environment are hugely
attractive. Every plate is beautifully
presented and Instagram-worthy —
but the diners are not just young and
hip. On the day I visit a family of three
generations is at one table, a trio of
middle-aged men at another.
Big money is behind the movement
away from a traditional meat diet.
Last month Richard Branson and Bill
Gates invested millions of dollars in a
start-up, Memphis Meats, that grows
“clean meat”, ie grown in a lab from
animal cells. Then there is Kenney’s
business partner, Prince Khaled Bin
Alwaleed, the 38-year-old Saudi
billionaire whose outspoken views —
and sizeable wallet — have done much
to revolutionise the food industry.
“People who opt for plant-based
lifestyles have the right to demand
better-quality options with diverse
cuisine — not just expect a menu
with three side-salad options,” says
Prince Khaled when he contacts
me from his travels in Europe.
“Matthew is introducing cuisine
that is exceptionally appealing and
aesthetically masterful.” Prince Khaled
used to live a life of lavish excess,
including exotic trophy hunting trips
and meat-heavy gourmet meals.
I ask what prompted him to change.
“I didn’t feel right about my
life,”
he replies.
“It went against
what I felt was good and just,
and I was truly unhealthy and out of
shape . . . I even gave up my car due to
the leather seats.”
Kenney had a similar awakening.
Growing up in Maine, where his father
ran a construction business, he used to
hunt deer as a child. His parents still
have the head of the first buck he shot
on the wall of their home in Maine.
When he was aged 15, one of his
friends made a derisive comment about
his weight. He instantly stopped eating
junk food and started frequenting the
organic hippie co-op in a nearby town.
“I started taking my own healthy food
to school. I would make wholewheat
pasta with tomato sauce or brown rice
with a bunch of herbs and vegetables.
Just simple stuff, nothing that we serve
on our menus today.”
After training as a chef in New
York, he opened his own restaurant,
Matthew’s, in 1993 and was named
Food and Wine Magazine’s best
new chef the next year. Focusing
on Mediterranean cuisine and
quality ingredients, the format was
nonetheless traditional. “There were
ten entrées and not one was vegetarian.
Every now and then somebody would
come in and ask for a vegetarian dish.
In ten years I don’t remember anybody
asking for a vegan dish.”
It wasn’t until 2003 that he decided
to open a plant-based restaurant after a
friend “forced” him to visit one in New
York with Sarma Melngailis, his
girlfriend at the time, who was once
nicknamed the queen of vegan cuisine.
“It was weird,” says Kenney. “I let my
friend order for me and I actually didn’t
love my experience, but I thought
that the logic behind it made sense.
The place was small, but full of these
super-healthy-looking people. And
I felt great after the meal. I thought,
Samantha Wasser, the
co-founder of By Chloe.
Top: hearts of palm
ceviche and avocado
on toast from
Essence Cuisine
People
realise that
healthy
eating does
not have to
be a drag
Method
1 Whisk the citrus juices, jalapeño, Fresno
chilli, lime leaf, olive oil and ½ tsp salt in a
bowl. Add the hearts of palm, making sure
they are completely covered with brine. Cover
bowl and refrigerate for at least 30 min;
overnight is preferred.
2 Spoon some of the ceviche brine on to the
plate. Place the hearts of palm on the brine.
Top with fruit and vegetables of your choice.
We recommend avocado, radishes, kumquats,
citrus segments and quartered cherry
tomatoes. Garnish with microgreens, oils
(orange, lemon and pine), edible flowers
and/or sprouts of your choice.
‘Wow, if somebody can make this food
taste better it’s going to be huge.’ ”
So he and Melngailis created their
own vegan restaurant, Pure Food and
Wine, which opened in New York in
2004 and was an instant success, with
regulars such as Alec Baldwin and Bill
Clinton. However, their relationship
soon foundered and Melngailis bought
out Kenney’s stake. She is now in jail,
serving time for grand larceny and
fraud. It is a long and complex story;
suffice it to say that her new nickname
is “the vegan Bernie Madoff”. Kenney
shakes his head: “It doesn’t make any
sense to me. It’s not how I knew her.”
Kenney is no stranger to legal woes
himself, with lawsuits often trailing
him across the country. In his
autobiography, Cooked Raw, he goes so
far as to quote someone who once said
that his story has “all the makings of a
Hollywood movie: good looks, bad
relationships, heartbreak and deceit.
And lawsuits, lots of lawsuits.” When
I quote it back to him, he nods: “You
can’t hide from that stuff. You have to
own your mistakes. I tend to be too
optimistic and get into projects that
are maybe too ambitious.”
After splitting with Melngailis he
moved to Los Angeles, where he found
an even more receptive audience for
his innovative cuisine. He now has
three restaurants there, all slightly
different in style, but all plant-based
and hugely popular. He lives in Venice
with his 22-year-old vegan girlfriend
Charlotte and (non-vegan) cat
Rumple. “She [the cat] eats raw organic
poultry.” Does it bother him? “It
doesn’t really,” he says nonchalantly.
Although Kenney practices yoga
and meditation, he says the stress of
the business sometimes gets to him.
“I’ve been tired or upset or angry, but
I’ve never considered giving up.”
Kenney’s mission is to make
plant-based cuisine as widely available
as possible. He is convinced that once
people try it there is no looking back.
He cites places all over the world,
including in South America, that have
successful plant-based restaurants and
is opening one himself in Bogotá,
Colombia, in November. Earlier this
year, with the backing of Prince
Khaled, he also opened the Plant Cafe
in Bahrain, and they are planning
several more in the region.
Samantha Wasser, the 30-year-old
co-founder of By Chloe and creative
director of ESquared Hospitality, the
company that owns the brand, agrees
that if you build it they will come. “We
are seeing an outcry for plant-based
eating in smaller areas because they
are under-served. People have realised
that healthy eating no longer has to be
a drag,” she tells me when I call her in
New York. “Probably only about 10 per
cent of our customers are full-time
vegan. I think that shows how much of
a demand there is. A lot of people just
want to be incorporating it, whether
it’s once a month or every day.”
“It’s a complete shift in the way we
eat,” says Kenney, pointing out that
hospitals and even schools in America
are offering plant-based menus (the
Muse School in Los Angeles is
exclusively plant-based). Sportsmen
such as Tom Brady, who focus on
plant-based foods, have helped to
change the image of such a diet. Even
Arnold Schwarzenegger has jumped
on board. “It’s all about education and
awareness,” says Kenney.
He has a point. After my crash course
in plant-based eating, I no longer
breeze past the kombucha aisle in my
local Whole Foods (yes there’s a whole
section dedicated to it). I even found
myself returning to Plant Food and
Wine at the weekend — voluntarily.
And it wasn’t for the half-priced
champagne. Well, not just for that.
6
1GT
Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
times2
Move over, millennials: it’s Max and
These 14-year-olds
from Reading
have 4.5 million
young fans. How
did they do it, asks
Mike Pattenden
S
he has worked with Elton
John, Beyoncé, Britney
Spears, and Mariah Carey,
has had eight Oscar
nominations and was the
first songwriter to have
seven hits by seven artists
on the US singles chart at
the same time. So it’s fair to say that
everyone important in the music
industry knows who Diane Warren is.
For those who don’t, though, there’s
a reminder at her studio on Sunset
Boulevard in Los Angeles, says Harvey
Mills. “Her name is on the side of the
building in big letters,” he recalls of his
recent trip there with his twin brother,
Max. “I knew some of her songs but I
didn’t know she’d written them, if you
see what I mean. We didn’t really grow
up with that type of music.”
To be fair Max is only 14 years old.
He wasn’t alive when Warren, 61, wrote
If I Could Turn Back Time for Cher and
was only eight when she penned Born
to Be Somebody for Justin Bieber. Yet
the songwriter clearly saw something in
these precocious teenagers from
Reading, Berkshire, and had them pick
one of her new songs to record on the
spot. “She was screaming and laughing
and saying how effing amazing it
sounded,” Max says, laughing, “even
though there were cameras on us.”
Cameras are more or less always on
Max and Harvey. A film crew tailed
them around the US for a forthcoming
BBC documentary as they played
concerts and met other social media
stars, but even when at home the duo
constantly film themselves singing
popular hits or performing silly skits.
They grew up watching millennials —
from Bieber to vloggers such as Zoella
— parlaying their talent into lucrative
opportunities on YouTube. However,
these young iGen’ers, as the academic
Jean M Twenge refers to their
generation, sought a new route to fame,
the social networking app Musical.ly.
“We realised pretty much
immediately Musical.ly could be more
than a fun tool,” says Max, who is
distinguishable from his brother by the
cap he always wears. “We thought we
could do more with it. We tested it out,
lip-syncing to a couple of songs, then
quickly switched to making our own
material. It took off pretty rapidly
from there and we put as much effort
into it as we can now.”
Since its launch in 2014, Musical.ly
has offered serious competition to
Snapchat, Instagram and the like,
attracting 240 million users, or
“musers”, as they are known. The app
lets them choose from a million songs
to create 15-second looped videos.
Most lip-sync and dance, but some
create original material. Its sister
app, Live.ly, lets users stream live
We had
lots of year
sevens
staring at
us last term
video direct from their phones. Brands
and record labels are falling over
themselves to sign deals with the
company, while Disney and Apple are
rumoured to be eyeing it up.
It has fashioned its own global stars,
or “influencers”, with millions of
followers, but unless you have young
teenagers you are unlikely to have
heard of them. Baby Ariel, a
16-year-old from Florida, is its biggest
name, with 21 million followers. She
was recently listed among Time
magazine’s Top 25 Most Influential
People on the Internet. Lisa and Lena,
twins from Stuttgart, boast 20 million,
enough to tour the UK during the
summer, while Max and Harvey are
the biggest UK stars in the Musical.ly
Top 20 with 4.5 million fans.
Not that their fame is limited to one
social network. Their self-released
debut single, One More Day in Love,
has received 1.2 million views on
Max, right, and Harvey
YouTube and 475,000 plays on Spotify.
They have 600,000 Instagram
followers, four times as many as the
Brit award-winner Rag’n’Bone Man.
The twins are managed by Tim
Byrne, who spent a decade as creative
director at Syco, Simon Cowell’s
entertainment company. He is
frequently credited with being the
guiding hand behind One Direction,
and talking to Max and Harvey, it’s
clear how focused they are on
emulating 1D’s success. “We’re excited
by the way things have taken off, but
we work hard at it. This is our career
now,” Harvey says resolutely. Penguin
Random House certainly recognises
the duo’s potential and plans to publish
the twins’ first book next month, and
the BBC has embraced them as its own.
In the summer I caught a Max and
Harvey appearance at a CBeebies
event at the BBC’s MediaCity in
Salford, Greater Manchester. Then,
wandering among the candy-coloured
tents, it was hard to appreciate what
all the fuss was about. Despite
uncharacteristic blue skies it was
possible to count the number of fans
gathered around the stage waiting for
their idols. The queue to hold an
iguana was nearly as big. But if you
were to write the pair off as microstars
on that basis you would be missing the
point. Most of their fans are watching
Max and Harvey online.
Among the handful of adults keeping
a watchful eye on their children as the
twins took the stage was Paul Mills,
the twins’ 44-year-old father. Holding
his phone aloft he began streaming the
event in real time and within minutes
there were 12,000 fans watching, firing
off messages and colourful emojis. He
explained that if America had been
awake — it was midday in Salford but
4am on the western seaboard — the
figure would have been three or four
times higher because many of their
followers are based across the Atlantic.
To put that in context, Wembley
Arena holds 12,500 people. Max and
Harvey are that big but today’s arena
is online. Nevertheless they did
experience their first Beatles moment
when they were besieged by a couple
of hundred fans in Los Angeles as they
tried to leave the Fox Teen Choice
Awards. “It was a bit scary at first, then
it was funny,” Harvey says. “We
actually enjoyed it in the end, but it
did take quite a while to get out.”
Rather than being the archetypal
pushy parent, Paul seems to have been
swept up helplessly in the tidal wave of
adoration directed at his children and
the scale of their ambition. “You think
your kids are going to do their GCSEs,
A levels, go to uni or whatever, but
suddenly they’ve accumulated five
million fans,” he says. “The challenge
is how do you respond to that as a
responsible parent? How do you help
them and stop it being too crazy?
“I didn’t really use social media.
When they joined Musical.ly, I joined
as well to keep an eye on them. I
hadn’t a clue about it at that point.”
Max and Harvey have musical genes.
Paul attended the Royal Academy of
Music and went into musical theatre,
appearing in Fame in the West End.
Sara, their mother, sang on cruise
ships, which is where the couple met.
They also have two younger children.
The boys were already busking in
Reading city centre before the app
launched, but their popularity is still
startling. “I think there’s three things,”
Max says. “We’re British and we were
on the app very early on. The other
thing is we’re twins. Our harmonies
are very closely matched. I’ve been
told it sounds good.”
He is right. When they sing there is
more than a hint of the Everly
Brothers. The duo used to perform
Oasis songs for shoppers but switched
to pop for Musical.ly. “Our market is
teenage girls now,” Harvey says.
“We get girls following us around
now,” adds Max. “And some at school
are excited to find us there. We had lots
of year sevens staring at us last term
and it’s got worse since we went back.”
They haven’t let it go to their heads,
though. Far from being overwhelming,
wannabe brats, the twins answer
questions politely and articulately.
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
7
1GT
times2
Harvey
They also spar like any other siblings,
arguing about who is the worse
footballer or picking up on each other
when they trip up verbally.
To youngsters, it may sound as if
they are living the dream, but parents
would surely hear alarm bells ringing
as the superstar conveyor belt ferries
off their children. Their father can see
the potential pitfalls of rapid fame.
“We want them to be successful, but
every parent wants that. And of course
we have concerns about what could
happen. You read horror stories about
celebrities who have gone off the rails,
but we’ve looked at them closely and
by and large they don’t have a stable
family background. All we can do is
make sure they [Max and Harvey] are
good, sensible human beings.”
Social media has its dark side too.
There have been stories of youngsters
being encouraged to post sexual
material on Musical.ly and Live.ly.
Parents of two nine-year-old girls from
Dundee recently went to the police to
report attempts to encourage their
children to post intimate images.
The app’s terms and conditions state
a minimum age of 13 but nearly all the
fans attending the CBeebies event
were younger. Lacey, 12, wearing a
blue M&H T-shirt, had travelled from
Liverpool, meeting her fellow fan
Leah, also 12, from Birmingham. As
they waited patiently in the queue for
the signing tent I asked them what
they liked about the twins.
“Everything!” they chorused.
Larissa, 12, from Manchester, was
marginally more expansive: “I just
think they’re really talented and funny.”
Larissa posts her own lip-sync videos
on Musical.ly, which her father, Grant,
who was hovering in the background,
keeps a close eye on.
“I thought I was up on things, but it
turns out I’m not. There’s so many of
these social media apps,” he said with
a sigh. “You have to be so careful.
We check her profiles and make
sure she keeps things private, but
there’s always going to be issues.
It’s the reality of the world. You
just have to try and stay on top of
it.” Did he understand the Max
and Harvey obsession? “No, not
really, but I think it’s fine for me
not to get it.”
The same could be said for anyone
over 20, but that’s unlikely to stop
Max and Harvey Mills. Options for
the pair seem endless. They
discuss record deals, acting and
presenting. “We can talk for
Britain,” Max says, which is
definitely true.
Fame has been turned
upside down by social
media. You become
famous first, then
forge a career.
Max and Harvey’s
challenge is going
to be how to
monetise their
status as global
tween icons.
Given the
vast fanbase
lurking out
there, don’t
bet against
them
doing it.
Lucie McQuilkan
and one of her
little goddesses
‘I’m a goddess!’ Girl power
lessons for four-year-olds
By Barbara McMahon
U
Beyoncé
nder a tree in a Brooklyn
park, a woman in a long,
floaty dress and face paint
is urging her pupils to
celebrate their inner
goddesses as they throw silk scarves
“up into the universe” and shout
out their deepest desires.
These nymphs frolicking in the
hipster area of New York are taking
part in a goddess class, the latest in
female empowerment. For $300 they
will hear — over 12 lessons — about
divine female beings and learn how
to “play beyond this realm”.
According to the website for
Mischievous Goddess — a concept
created by Lucie McQuilkan, a
35-year-old
former fashion designer
3
— the aim is to encourage little girls
to “understand and embrace the
immense power and value of the
feminine early on”.
Yet these goddesses-in-training
may have missed the point as
they bellow their wishes into the
wind: “I want a mermaid dress!”,
w
““I want a cat!”. Well, what do you
eexpect from a group of little girls
aged between four and eight?
Goddesses are in vogue. Katy
Perry, Madonna and Rihanna are
fans of the Egyptian
goddess Isis (no relation
tto the terror group,
obviously), the patroness of
ob
nature and magic. Beyoncé
na
went one better with her
appearance at the Grammy
awards this year. Wearing
a string bikini and a gold
headpiece, while pregnant
h
with twins, she gave a
wi
performance that referenced Mami
Wata, an African female water spirit;
Oshun, a Yoruba goddess of fertility
and sensuality; Kali, the many-armed
Hindu goddess and destroyer of evil;
and Venus, the Roman goddess of love.
There are goddess classes for
women, but encouraging little girls
to use goddesses for guidance as they
navigate childhood is new.
Critics may say this is just another
way for children to listen to fairy
stories and play dress-up. “Our
classes encompass spiritual wisdom
and ancient philosophies while
nurturing young girls’ imagination
and creativity,” says McQuilkan. “We
do artistic things. It’s not like we sit
down and make crap out of plastic.”
This week’s class has a mermaid
theme and the eight youngsters in the
group have already had their faces
painted and have picked mermaid
names such as Shimmer, Rainbow
Jewel, Moana and Turtle Shell. The
day starts with an affirmation, which
McQuilkan tells them “helps manifest
the things that we want in life”.
They repeat the words McQuilkan
chants. “I am powerful. I am strong.
I am valuable. I am intelligent. I am
creative. I am brave. I trust my Earth
Sisters and they believe in me.”
Do little girls really understand this,
I ask, as McQuilkan distributes toy
wooden treasure chests for the girls to
decorate with glitter gel. “They might
not, but I think it gets to them at a
subliminal level,” she says. “I explain
what an Earth Sister is , that your girl
friends will always be there for you,
and you should be kind to each other.”
The girls are examining the chests.
“There’s nothing in them,” one points
out accusingly. “There’s no snacks.”
“You’re going to decorate them first
and then we’ll find a treasure to put in
them,” McQuilkan says. “Who wants
pink glitter?”
Feminine instinct roars to the
surface as three of the girls scream
“Me!” in unison When one girl grabs
the pink glitter gel, the others pout.
McQuilkan reminds them that they
are Earth Sisters who share.
There is another scrum when a bag
of sequins is produced. “I want the
shiny!” declares one little blonde
poppet. Next on the agenda is crystal
therapy. McQuilkan produces a
sparkling purple amethyst whose
metaphysical abilities are alleged to
still the mind and purify the aura
of negative energy.
“It looks like a rock,” Turtle Shell
observes. The crystal is passed around
and each girl puts her hand on it and
makes a silent wish. Probably for a cat
or a mermaid dress.
McQuilkan believes goddesses can
be role models for little girls. “They’re
powerful and strong, but in a feminine
way, and there are thousands of
goddesses in all the cultures, so every
girl can see herself in one,” she says.
“For example, there’s the Polynesian
goddess Pele, who’s fiery like a
volcano, so I talk to the girls about
how we sometimes have anger in us
and then it blows. We talk about how
it’s OK to have those feelings and what
you do when you have them.”
Goddess classes are useful because
it is still a man’s world, McQuilkan
says. “We don’t mean to do it, but girls
are brought up to be nice and well
behaved. Boys get away with more.
So it’s important for girls to know that
they can be powerful and feminine.”
In a world where strong women
are often called bossy or bitchy, it’s a
good lesson to learn. “Goddesses are
unapologetic in both their femininity
and their power. I think it’s important
to share that with little girls.”
McQuilkan has been running her
goddess classes in Brooklyn for two
years, but saw a noticeable increase
in enrolment last year when Hillary
Clinton lost the presidential election
to Donald Trump. “He’s said so many
things that are derogatory towards
women,” McQuilkan says. “When the
leader of your country is saying these
things, it’s important for little girls
to be reminded of their value.”
mischievousgoddess.com
8
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Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
arts
‘My son seemed so
bright. Then it was like
his computer crashed’
Kathy Lette’s new novel is about a woman who tries to hire a prostitute
for her autistic son. She almost did it for hers, she tells Catherine Nixey
I
t was when he turned round that
she saw it. Kathy Lette’s autistic
teenage son, Jules, had just come
home from school. He moved
and there it was: a note pinned
to his back. It said: “Kick me, I’m
a retard”.
A version of this has found its
way into Lette’s latest novel, Best Laid
Plans, about a mother of an autistic
boy. In the book the mother
remembers her son coming home with
a sign on his back saying: “Spit on the
spaz”. The mother is devastated. How
did Lette feel?
What? When he came back “with a
sign on his back saying, ‘Kick me, I’m
a retard’?” she repeats, as if to make
sure of the question. It was perhaps
unnecessary. “Well just imagine that,
as a mother. You felt like your heart
had been ripped out of your chest and
thrown on the ground and stomped
on. It still makes me upset to think
about it. Because you can’t protect
them all the time.”
Here’s the thing about Lette, the
“comic” author: she is really quite
serious. She’s serious about autism.
She’s really serious about feminism.
And she’s a serious hitter: her books
have shifted more than three million
copies worldwide.
Little about Lette’s image prepares
you for this. Her book covers are
frequently pink. Pint-sized and pixiefaced, she will sometimes strike a pose
in photos; kick up a heel, perhaps, or
smile brightly. In the publicity shot for
her present tour, Girls’ Night Out, she
is wearing a dress with a heart on it.
This is not authorial behaviour: most
authors look serious to the point of
glum. If they are feeling sprightly they
might rest their chin on their hand.
Even so, Lette loathes being classed
as lightweight, and the lack of serious
attention that she and other female
comic authors get enrages her. “I hate
the term ‘chick lit’,” she says. “I find [it]
so loathsome. It’s demeaning and
belittling. Women who write firstperson contemporary funny fiction get
sidelined. We don’t get reviewed
properly.” And, she adds, “I’m not a
chick. I’m a chook. At least at my age.”
Chook meaning chicken in Australian.
We meet in the Savoy Hotel, in
London, where in 2003 Lette was
writer in residence (Stephen Fry was
the next incumbent) and where there
is a cocktail named after her: the
Kathy cassis. (Less glamorously there
was also a dish: the ome-lette.) Say her
name to the hotel’s staff and they say
“Ah, Ms Lette” in the sort of cosy way
that they presumably used to say “Ah,
Ms Parker” in the Algonquin.
When I arrive Lette is sitting in a
corner booth that has a bay window
and curtains that can be shut to screen
off the table, making a little
impromptu room. “I suppose it’s for
movie stars to have sex,” she says.
She shuts the curtain, which makes
an expensive “whoomph”.
Lette knows a movie star or two.
The final serious thing that you need
to know about Lette is this: she’s
seriously well connected. George (as
in Clooney) once popped round for
dinner. Ruby (Wax) is a “bezzie”, as
is Sandi (Toksvig) — it was they
who encouraged Lette to do the
show. Salman Rushdie is a chum.
Julian Barnes is a pal.
Lette was sipping her cocktail next
to Barnes one day. She was pleased,
she said, about having a drink named
after her, but worried that men could
go about saying they had “had” her.
“Don’t worry, Kath,” Barnes replied.
“As long as they say that you went
down rather well.”
I hate
the term
‘chick lit’.
I find it so
demeaning
Lette has a lot of conversations like
this, with people like that. It helps that
she was married for 27 years to one of
the best-known barristers in London,
the human rights lawyer Geoffrey
Robertson. (She and Robertson
separated this year, which she doesn’t
want to talk about except to say that
he “is a loving, fabulous dad”.)
Robertson is joint head and founder of
the Doughty Street Chambers of
which Amal Clooney is also a member.
When Lette and Robertson met, he
was going out with Nigella Lawson.
It sounds like a glitzy existence.
The cover quotes on her book are
from Fry, Nicole Kidman and Toksvig.
She has a lot of starry friends. “I have
a lot of daggy friends too,” she says.
A lot of friends, then. Her writing style
is cosy, confessional, female. Much like
her interview style. As I am getting
ready to ask the first question she gets
in first. “No, I want to hear about
you,” she says.
You don’t get where Lette is and
sell three million books by being a
sap. In her novels she can be acidic
about the kind of “upper-class,
Oxford-educated privileged white
male who turns out to be a
gangrenous-dicked troglodyte”. Her
education was upset by becoming
famous as a teenager, thanks to her
novel Puberty Blues, which was made
into a film. Today she describes
herself as an autodidact (“a word she
taught herself”, as the flyleaf of her
book puts it).
When she came to London 28 years
ago she landed “smack-bang
in the middle of the literati”. Book
critics and whatnot; Oxbridge sorts
who had scant time for a young
woman from Australia. She
remembers being at a Times Literary
Supplement party where one of
Kathy Lette and,
left, with her friend
Nicole Kidman
those sorts happened to describe
something as condescending. He
turned to Lette and said:
“Condescending: it means ‘talking
down to’.” Was he being ironic? “He
was just being a prick.”
That went into a notebook. Lette
doesn’t do therapy. “If I did therapy
I wouldn’t write.” Instead she has a
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
9
1GT
KATIE WILSON FOR THE TIMES; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
arts
Kathy Lette and
Geoffrey Robertson
I’m totally
against
the idea
of being
a domestic
goddess
notebook and it all goes in. Later it
comes out in novels.
It hasn’t been uninterrupted drinks
parties. Having a child diagnosed as
autistic in the Nineties was tough.
Not least because so little was then
known about the condition. “When
my son was born he seemed so bright.
He walked early, he talked early, he
was so advanced.”
Then suddenly, at 13 months, “it
was like his computer crashed. He
lost his language, he retreated into
himself.” More than a year later there
was the diagnosis, which “back then
was almost a death sentence. The
a-word.” Then when he grew up there
was the worry about whether he’d
find a partner.
Best Laid Plans is about a mother
who tries to help her 20-year-old
autistic son lose his virginity by hiring
him a prostitute, but ends up getting
arrested. Like so many of Lette’s
novels, and her stand-up act, it takes
an everyday female experience —
teenage years, sulky teenage
daughters, being a mother — and
jokes about it. There is a very good gag
in her set about how having a teenage
daughter is like living with the Taliban.
The prostitute plotline was,
improbably, also inspired by personal
experience. Lette seriously considered
hiring a sex worker for her son. “It
sounds drastic . . . but I did. My son’s
self-esteem was so low.”
School had been tough, dating
websites hadn’t worked and “he felt
every rejection so, so painfully. On
forums, parents of autistic children
will openly discuss doing or at least
considering the same thing. When he
was about 20 I thought if I hired a
woman for him it would take the
mystery out of it.”
And so it was that, as in the book,
Lette — the tennis-playing, smart
London partygoing author — drove
through the red-light district near
Liverpool Street station. Then she
“freaked out and came home”. A few
weeks after her abortive attempt she
saw a story in the papers about a
man who had been arrested doing the
same thing and the idea of the novel
was born.
The novel is not autobiographical,
but is nonetheless revealing. The
mother in it describes how her son
is insulted as a “spaz” and a “retard”
and talks about how autistic boys are
Kathy Lette’s live show,
Girls’ Night Out, is
touring the UK
(kathylette.com). Best
Laid Plans is out now
(Bantam, £12.99)
“priapic”. Does her son mind her
writing this?
The first time she wrote a novel
about autism she wasn’t going to
mention her son in the same context.
“But then a journalist asked me was it
true I had an autistic child? I wasn’t
going to lie because if I lie it would
have looked like I was embarrassed
by him, and the opposite is true. I’m
so proud of him.” She asked her son
how he’d feel about “coming out”
about his autism. He read the book.
“Well, Mum,” he said, “it’s a
celebration of idiosyncrasies,
eccentricities and being different.”
So she is a doting mother but also a
frank one. Decades of cooking for her
family has left her with a hatred of it;
even the thought of it is “abhorrent”.
In her show she talks about using her
smoke alarm as a timer.
“I’m totally against the idea of being
a domestic goddess. Emmeline
Pankhurst spent all that time getting
us out of the kitchen.” Men, she says,
should head in instead. “The greatest
aphrodisiac in the world is a man in a
cooking apron. Let’s just stop
promoting cooking shows for women.”
On that point, George Clooney is
apparently a dab hand at emptying the
dishwasher. Other dinner party (or
more permanent) guests in the LetteRobertson household were Rushdie
(“Fabulous. He loves the company of
women”), James Hewitt (“When he
was wanted by the Palace for treason”)
and Julian Assange.
Assange, as he tends to, stayed.
“I came to really like him,” she says.
“I think he’s on the spectrum. So I feel
quite maternal towards him because
I could see his social awkwardness.”
Her notebook for those years must
make for interesting reading. Is she
planning an autobiography? “Oh yes,”
she says. “I’ve been keeping notes.
That’s definitely in the pipeline.”
10
1GT
Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
television & radio
Another pin-sharp peep at Mitchell and Webb
MARK JOHNSON/CHANNEL4
Carol
Midgley
TV review
Back
Channel 4
{{{{(
Grand Designs
Channel 4
{{{((
‘A
ndrew was our favourite
foster child,” says Ellen
sweetly in the opening
episode of Back. “I know
you’re not meant to have
favourites, but some of them were
genuine arseholes.”
Ah, what a comfort it is to have
David Mitchell and Robert Webb back,
in Back, a comedy shaping up to be
almost as pin-sharp and cheerfully
dark as Peep Show. Though let’s not
get ahead of ourselves: that’s a
mammoth act to follow. Mitchell’s
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
Assignment
World Service, 1.30pm
Here’s a problem you don’t
hear about very often:
population shrinkage.
While most of the world
struggles with increasing
populations, Bulgaria has
the opposite problem. Its
population, seven million or
so, is the fastest-shrinking
in the world. So many have
left one small village in the
northwest of the country
that the school has closed
and the town hall has been
locked up. Ruth Alexander
travels there to find out
what life is like and what
the remaining people are
doing about the unusual fix
they find themselves in.
Women Talking
About Cars
Radio 4, 6.30pm
Victoria Coren Mitchell’s
guest in the returning show
— Desert Island Discs with
cars instead of records —
is Sheila Hancock. A true
thesp, she has a pleasing
yarn from every period of
her life, from the Swinging
Sixties, when she went to
parties wearing a jumpsuit
and a cat draped around
her shoulders, to meeting
her husband John Thaw,
“a surly creature” who saw
her knickers when she
crossed her legs and fell
in love with her instantly.
character, Stephen, channels much of
the fogeyish spirit of Peep Show’s Mark
Corrigan, though he is older, beardier
and so square he refurbishes his dying
father’s pub in diarrhoea-coloured
pine. If you’re a proud owner of pine
furniture this will have been a tough
watch: pine was pretty much crucified.
Webb’s character, Andrew, a former
foster child returning to mourn “our
Dad” is less like Jeremy from Peep
Show, but just as splendidly narcissistic
and, possibly, a crazed sociopath. It
took 12 minutes for them to appear
together in a scene, which is when
the pace accelerated, but Simon
Blackwell’s lean, fizzing script provided
quality LOL moments from the off.
Stephen catered for his father’s wake
by allowing three sausage rolls per
mourner and buying “one up from
economy, 13 per cent pork”. This is
something Mark might have said.
We shouldn’t keep comparing them
but we will, we just will. The pissing
dog may have been a fraction
overused, but it’s a tiny quibble in
an episode that included this retort
to a remark that vinyl is making a
comeback: “Yeah . . . for c***s.” It came
from uncle Geoff (played by Geoff
McGivern), a man whose two loves
are radio phone-ins and Pornhub.
It’s a clever concept, two middle-aged
men with wildly differing memories of
the same dead father and with the
“successful” foster child seemingly
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.33am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills 4.00 Greg James
5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg James 7.00 Annie
Mac. Live from Bestival 10.00 BBC Radio 1’s
Residency: Live from Bestival 1.00am Toddla
T 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce. Neil
Sedaka performs live 12.00 Jeremy Vine
2.00pm Steve Wright 5.00 Simon Mayo.
Chef Nigel Barden prepares broad beans with
black pudding and garlic 7.00 Bob Harris
Country. Miranda Lambert joins Bob in
session 8.00 Jo Whiley. Music and chat
10.00 The Radio 2 Arts Show with Jonathan
Ross. Cultural commentary 12.00 The Craig
Charles House Party (r) 2.00am Radio 2’s
Tracks of My Years Playlist 3.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Have A Great Weekend 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Feelgood Friday 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s
classical breakfast show, featuring listener
requests. Including 7.00, 8.00 News.
7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Rob Cowan is joined by the theatre and film
director Dominic Dromgoole, who chooses
a selection of his favourite works, and the
Proms Artist of the Week is Alina Ibragimova
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Mozart (1756-1791)
Donald Macleod explores the chamber
music of Mozart’s Vienna years.
Mozart (a penchant for Kegel; a Trio for
Nàtschibinìschibi; “Anglomania” hits Vienna;
12 Duos for 2 horns, K 487; No 1, Allegro;
Trio in E flat for clarinet, viola and piano;
K 498 Kegelstatt; and String Quintet
in G minor, K 516 Grumiaux Trio)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Fiona Talkington presents the third of four
concerts from LSO St Luke’s in London
celebrating Edward Elgar’s beautiful
and little-heard music for strings. Today’s
concert is given by the rising stars violinist
Jennifer Pike and the pianist Peter Limonov.
Violin Sonata: Vaughan Williams
(The Lark Ascending)
David Mitchell and Robert Webb in the cheerfully dark Back
2.00 Afternoon on 3
The Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra, Chen
Reiss (soprano) and Daniele Gatti play from
Saturday 2 September at the Royal Albert
Hall. Presented by Petroc Trelawny. Haydn
(Symphony No 82 in C — The Bear); and
Mahler (Symphony No 4 in G) (r)
4.30 In Tune
Ian Skelly with a lively mix of chat,
arts news and live performance
6.30 Live BBC Proms 2017
The Vienna Philharmonic with conductor
Daniel Harding perform, live at the Royal
Albert Hall. Presented by Tom Service. If the
Ninth Symphony is Mahler’s musical “dark
night of the soul”, then the Sixth is the
afternoon, dark with storm clouds, that
preceded it. Although written at the happiest
time of the composer’s life, the work builds
gradually into a shattering frenzy of despair.
It was a musical vision that was to prove all
too prescient for a composer who would soon
suffer a series of life-changing personal
heartbreaks. Mahler (Symphony No. 6)
8.15 BBC New Generation Artists
The Armida Quartet, from Germany, play
Mozart’s String Quartet in G, K387 — one
of the six he dedicated to Joseph Haydn
8.45 Proms Poetry Competition
Judges Jacob Polley, Ian McMillan and Judith
Palmer announce the winners of the 2017
Proms Poetry competition. The victors in the
under-19s and over-19s categories share
the inspiration for their winning poems —
which are performed by an actor
9.30 Live BBC Proms 2017
Sir András Schiff performs live at the Royal
Albert Hall. Presented by Ian Skelly. The
master pianist plays nearly two hours of
music that for many represents both the
foundation and one of the summits of
the entire keyboard literature. Bach (The
Well-Tempered Clavier — Book 1). Once
described as the “Old Testament” of the
keyboard repertoire, these two sequences
of 24 Preludes and Fugues — one in every
key — represent a wealth of musical
invention, ingenuity and delight
11.30 Late Junction
Music from the downtown New York improv
guitarist Mary Halvorson and her octet, also
featuring the pedal steel guitar of Susan
Alcorn. Plus, Alemu Aga, a master of the
Ethiopian begena, a 10-string lyre, and an
homage to Rameau from New Zealand
composer Denis Smalley — invoking the
“sleep scene” of French Baroque opera,
in which the drama is suspended and
a character is encouraged to rest
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
Presented by Justin Webb and Nick Robinson
8.31 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Fry’s English Delight
Stephen Fry discusses how the English
language describes mental health (4/4) (r)
9.30 The Ideas That Make Us
Bettany Hughes assesses Man’s relationship
with Mother Earth, as personified by
the Greek goddess Gaia (4/5) (r)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
Every Third Thought
By Robert McCrum (4/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
With Andrea Catherwood. Including at 10.45
the 15 Minute Drama: Claudine Toutoungi’s
comedy drama The Inheritors (4/5)
10.25-6.45 (LW) Test Match Special:
England v West Indies
Day one of the third Test at Lord’s
11.00 Crossing Continents
11.30 The Arts of Life
What art can do for people and communities
facing life’s great challenges
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Sarah Daniels
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Streets Apart:
A History of Social Housing
How council housing has become
diminished in the 21st century (9/10)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Snake
By Moya O’Shea. A successful Australian
businessman invites four promotion
candidates to his country property, taking
them into the Bush to test their mettle.
Richard Dillane and Harry Richardson star
3.00 Open Country
The National Trust’s plans for a 200-acre site
in Northumberland. Last in the series
3.27 Radio 4 Appeal (r)
3.30 Bookclub
Patrick McCabe discusses his 1992 novel
The Butcher Boy with James Naughtie (r)
4.00 The Film Programme
4.30 BBC Inside Science
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
intent on usurping the underachieving
biological child as the new head of the
family. As the episode ended at the
wake, with one of Geoff’s Pornhub
stars in full orgasm accidentally
streaming through the wireless music
speaker, Andrew smiled dementedly
at Stephen as the actress screamed:
“I’m f***ing you.” I think that was
a metaphor. Delicious.
Until last night, strangely, I was
a Grand Designs virgin. I’m not sure
I can take a second episode. How do
you cope with Kevin McCloud’s
schadenfreude? Such a gleeful
naysayer. It’s one thing to “tell it like
it is”, another to behold two clearly
stressed-out housebuilders who sunk
every penny into a struggling project
and look delighted at their misfortune.
The more that went wrong for Jon
and Gill, the happier McCloud seemed.
When they perked up he slapped them
down by pointing out the negatives
and their waste of the Malvern view.
You could see Gill’s irritation with him
growing as fast as Jon’s anxiety. When
it emerged that Jon had cocked up the
utilities (costing £40,000) McCloud
could barely contain his mirth.
In the end, the house and garden
looked lovely. “I thought it was going
to be a horrible hellhole,” McCloud
said, sadly. Remember Harry Enfield’s
know-all character “You don’t wanna
do it like that”? His spirit lives on.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
6.30 Women Talking About Cars
FM only until 6.45pm New series in which
Victoria Coren Mitchell talks to notable
women about cars they have known. Her
first guest is the actress Sheila Hancock.
See Radio Choice (1/4)
7.00 The Archers
Johnny wants to spread his wings
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 The Inheritors
By Claudine Toutoungi (4/5) (r)
8.00 The Briefing Room
Current affairs documentary
8.30 In Business
A report on why forecasts often fail to
correctly map the future (6/9)
9.00 BBC Inside Science (r)
9.30 Quirke’s Cast and Crew (4/4) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
Crime Down Under: The Dry
By Jane Harper (4/10)
11.00 Bunk Bed
Patrick Marber and Peter Curran talk
about Kingsley Amis’s teeth (3/6)
11.15 Elvis McGonagall Takes a
Look on the Bright Side (1/4) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
Every Third Thought (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Stop Messing About! 8.30 The Goon
Show 9.00 Whispers 9.30 Semi Circles
10.00 The Pallisers 11.00 Short Works: The
World of Somerset Maugham 11.15 Buried
By Glass 12.00 Stop Messing About!
12.30pm The Goon Show 1.00 Sidney
Chambers and the Shadow of Death 1.30 The
Goulash Archipelago 2.00 The Siege 2.15
Charisma: Pinning Down the Butterfly 2.30
South Riding 2.45 Country Girl 3.00 The
Pallisers 4.00 Whispers 4.30 Semi Circles
5.00 Double Income, No Kids Yet 5.30 Chain
Reaction 6.00 The Heart of Hark’un 6.30
Great Lives 7.00 Stop Messing About! 7.30
The Goon Show 8.00 Sidney Chambers and
the Shadow of Death. By James Runcie 8.30
The Goulash Archipelago. (2/2) The
musicians continue to play for their supper
9.00 Short Works: The World of Somerset
Maugham. Rain, part one 9.15 Buried By
Glass. Despite their intimacy, three friends
have secrets as deep as their bond
10.00 Comedy Club: Chain Reaction. Sharon
Horgan talks to Dennis Kelly 10.30 Party
10.55 The Comedy Club Interview 11.00 Big
Booth Too 11.30 The Museum of Everything
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Emma Barnett 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport
9.00 5 Live Sport: US Open Tennis 2017
10.00 Sam Walker 1.00am Up All Night
5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with Max Rushden and Ray Wilkins 10.00
The Two Mikes 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne 1.00pm Stuart Maconie 4.00 Steve
Lamacq 6.00 Steve Lamacq’s Roundtable
7.00 Marc Riley. Marc is joined by Rob
Hughes 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Steve Lamacq 1.00am
The Record Producers 2.00 Essential Albums
of the 90s 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Classic FM Birthday
Requests 5.00 Classic FM Drive 7.30 Classic
FM’s 25th Birthday Concert with the
Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra. Bill
Turnbull marks the station’s quarter-century
with a concert, live from Philharmonic Hall.
George Frideric Handel (Zadok the Priest);
Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov (Scheherezade
— The Young Prince and the Young Princess);
Dani Howard (Argentum — world premiere);
Max Bruch (Violin Concerto No.1 in G minor);
Jean Sibelius (Finlandia); William Walton
(Crown Imperial); Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
(Ave Verum Corpus); Karl Jenkins (Palladio
— 1st movement); Ludwig van Beethoven
(Symphony No.6 in F — 1st movement —
Pastoral); Alexander Borodin (Polovtsian
Dances); and Arturo Márquez (Conga del
Fuego) 10.00 Smooth Classics. With
Margherita Taylor 1.00am Jane Jones
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
11
1GT
TONY BARTHOLOMEW; ROBERT WORKMAN
Prom 70
BBCSO/Canellakis
Royal Albert Hall
Pop
Courtney Marie Andrews
Bush Hall, W12
I
T
{{{{(
s she the new Mirga? Comparisons
with Mirga Grazinyte-Tyla, the
City of Birmingham Symphony
Orchestra’s lightning bolt,
definitely came to mind as the
American firecracker Karina
Canellakis made her Proms debut,
conducting the BBC Symphony
Orchestra. Take the incisive, generous
hand gestures, the interpretive
probing, plus the ravenous enthusiasm
of youth (well, comparatively:
Canellakis is 35). And brio, piles
of brio. The only difference is that
Canellakis doesn’t try to conduct and
be a ballerina at the same time.
Conductor and orchestra reached
their peak in the first movement of
Dvorák’s Eighth Symphony, which was
shaped with microscopic precision, yet
still with its hot emotions and natural
flow intact. Bright little subtleties
in phrasing sparkled from the
woodwinds. In the third movement’s
trio section an eastern European lilt
eluded the strings, but there wasn’t
anything drastically wrong with the
home counties equivalent. And above
and beyond the dancing colours,
Canellakis displayed a total grasp of
this loveable symphony’s wayward
structure. A performance to treasure.
Bartók’s finger-bashing Piano
Concerto No 2 offered other riches.
The soloist Jeremy Denk tripped
through its assault course with athletic
vim, yet never left his colleagues
panting. Brass, winds and percussion
kept up their own battering. The
orchestra’s silky quiet in the second
movement’s adagio passages proved
a further wonder. So did Denk’s encore,
a simple, twinkling Mozart andante
(K545), light as a gossamer kiss.
Every silver lining has a cloud,
though. Tuesday’s was called Sinfonia
(for Orbiting Spheres), 12 minutes of
empty atmospherics from the
American Missy Mazzoli. Strings
slithered, harmonicas wheezed and
orbiting patterns gently twirled in
a post-minimalist mush. The piece fell
so boringly on the ears that I began
to long for corrosive complexity and
music impaled on barbed wire. I’m
sure Canellakis could have coped.
Geoff Brown
Sondheim’s Follies
sparkles at the
National Theatre
First Night in the main paper
Opera
Don Giovanni
Peacock, WC2
{{{((
I
n 1988 the director Peter Sellars
resited Mozart’s Figaro in Trump
Tower in Manhattan, “a building
with an icy implication of power”,
he said presciently. There are
echoes of that staging in James Hurley’s
production of Mozart’s other great
social drama, Don Giovanni, for British
Youth Opera (BYO), which takes place
in a swanky(ish) tower where Giovanni
lives, although costumes suggest more
1970s Rome than 1980s New York.
Much of the action, however, takes
artsfirst night
{{{{(
the “fascist Tory propaganda” of his
Jack and the Beanstalk. The cast of six
segue well between characters and
tones throughout. And if Ayckbourn
hasn’t entirely found the right
tragi-farcical tone to sell us on the
death-by-fireworks of the second part
— like a lot of recent Ayckbourn, it’s
one last redraft away from fulfilling all
its huge promise — his staging of the
pell-mell of school life, with characters
rushing through the invisible doors of
Kevin Jenkins’s four-room set, is lively.
It’s in its second half, though, that
the evening reveals itself to be a real
play. In all the scenes, most characters
are on their own trip: bickering
teachers, gossiping toffs, self-involved
theatrefolk. Ayckbourn knows that
moments of real connection between
people are hard-won and hard to
forget. He finds his perfect tone as
Spates finds romance as the back half
of a pantomime cow; as he looks back
on how this house has defined him in
a final scene that suddenly becomes
tear-inducingly tender.
The sublime wins out against
the so-so, all of it enabled by a
superb, unselfish central turn by
Antony Eden as Spates. Stiff-backed
at 17, disappointed and paunchy at
57, accepting at 77, he gives us an
uncynical but unsentimental depiction
of a man hanging on to decency while
the world does its cartwheels around
him. Wobbly start; beautiful finish.
Box office: 01723 370541, to Oct 7
his, the first of two sold-out
London concerts, was proof
of the value of patience.
Courtney Marie Andrews
is a 26-year-old native of
Phoenix, Arizona, who released a
handful of frankly unremarkable
albums before finding her voice in
2016 with Honest Life, a reflection on
homesickness, touring and growing
up that recalls the intimacy of Joni
Mitchell and the down-home purity
of Emmylou Harris.
Now her concert was packed out
with a reverential, mature crowd
(trans: old gits) who related
presumably to her words of pain and
experience, but they seemed like
canaries in the coal mine for wider
generational appreciation. She is too
good to remain a niche interest for
much longer.
Andrews is working with tried and
tested country music tools such as
heartbreak, disappointment and
all-round misery, but from a millennial
perspective. “The jukebox is playing
a sad country song for all those ugly
Americans,” she sang on the
self-explanatory How Quickly Your
Heart Mends, but just in case you
thought she was pronouncing lofty
judgment on your average blue-collar
Trump supporter she added: “Now I
feel like one of them.”
She wasn’t about to romanticise
the singer’s lot, either. “I’m a little bit
lonely, a little bit stoned, and I’m
ready to go home,” Andrews
confessed on Table For One, a beautiful
lament on the realities of life on
the road.
When she played with her backing
band — young men with an
impressive array of facial hair
arrangements — Andrews recalled
the Rolling Stones in their quieter
moments. On her own with a large
acoustic guitar for the title track of
Honest Life, she sat at the crossroads
between folk and country.
Although none of this is new
as such, her clear, keening vocal style
and way of writing with clarity about
personal but universal frailties
(exemplified on the standout song
Rookie Dreaming) breathed life into
well-worn territory. Andrews captures
vulnerability with unpretentiousness
and charm. That is more than
enough on which to build a career
in country music.
Will Hodgkinson
Sinfonia by the conductor Lionel
Friend, as well the strange decision to
use an edition of the score that
replaces good music with worse music.
Still, you come to BYO to spot stars,
and there are strong contenders here.
I would have swapped Mofidian and
Muffett based on their dramatic
personalities, but they both sing with
style. Waiting for Christian Valle’s
Commendatore to return from the
dead was worth it to hear his
cavernous bass notes.
The trio of heroines are excellent
in different ways. Lauren Joyanne
Morris sings lusciously and fervently
as a spunky Zerlina, Samantha
Clarke’s Donna Elvira is fiery and
vulnerable, and Charlie Drummond’s
imperious Donna Anna has powerful
high notes and shapes her treacherous
arias with care. There’s solid support
from Felix Kemp’s Masetto and Adam
Temple-Smith’s Ottavio.
Neil Fisher
Box office: 020 7863 8222, to Sat
Strong cast: Frances Marshall, Laurence Pears, Antony Eden, Laura Matthews and Louise Shuttleworth
To the manor Ayckbourn
His 81st play is
an entertaining
time-travelling
tale of love in a
country house,
says Dominic
Maxwell
Theatre
A Brief History
of Women
Stephen Joseph
Theatre,
Scarborough
{{{{(
H
as Alan Ayckbourn gone
all Downton Abbey on us?
At the start — the frankly
rather poor start — of
this, his 81st play, it appears
he has. We are at a party in a grand
country house, Kirkbridge Manor,
in 1925. As the lady of the house
knocks back gin cocktails, her much
older husband barks out misogynist
intolerance in his study. The
patriarchal status quo gets a blunt
drubbing, although things become
more interesting when the 17-year-old
footman, Spates, gets his first kiss from
Lady Caroline after saving her from
Lord Edward’s violent rage.
As A Brief History of Women follows
Spates at 20-year intervals through
the next 60 years at Kirkbridge
Manor, it becomes more funny, more
tender, more Ayckbourn. In 1945 it’s a
girls’ school and Spates is a teacher
having a clandestine romance with
a touchy-feely fellow teacher who,
uh-oh, keeps having visions of her dead
fiancé. In 1965 it’s an arts centre, run
by Spates, who’s on hand to comfort
the wife of the pantomime dame
who finds her husband rehearsing
undressed with the principal boy. And
in 1985 Spates is the retired manager
of Kirkbridge Manor Hotel, welcoming
back a 98-year-old Lady Caroline.
On one level, it’s a knockabout.
Russell Dixon excels as the outspoken
Welsh headmaster; as the panto dame
whose right-on leading man rebels at
place in the empty car park, where Jake
Muffett’s Giovanni appears to have
employed Michael Mofidian’s Leporello
mostly to empty his bins.
Giovanni’s power intrigued Sellars
rather than his sex appeal; either way,
you need to understand Giovanni’s
allure and self-confidence. You never
quite get there in this show, the best
moments of which have a seamy
energy, but is poorly paced and low on
comedy, despite the cast using
Amanda Holden’s tart translation.
An early appearance of the ghost of
the Commendatore undermines the
denouement; the very end, when the
fuzz arrive to find out whodunnit, is
more The Sweeney than Fellini. Pacing
problems are compounded by the slow
tempos inflicted on the Southbank
Michael Mofidian
as Leporello and
Lauren Joyanne
Morris as Zerlina
12
1GT
Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Tin Star
Sky Atlantic, 9pm
Tim Roth is
Jim Worth,
a former
London
police detective, two
years sober. He has left
England with his family
and taken a job as the
sheriff of a mountain
Who Do You
Think You Are?
BBC One, 8pm
invasion aimed at
capturing Rome in the
Second World War.
Tribes, Predators
& Me
BBC Two, 9pm
The wildlife
cameraman Gordon
Buchanan is spending
time with the people
of Owarigi Island in
the South Pacific, a
location so isolated it
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Council House Crackdown.
A council tenant who turned out to have his own property
empire 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer. Properties in
Romford, Wolverhampton and Aberdare 11.00 Dom on
the Spot. Attempts to catch and fine litter-throwers in
Cardiff 11.45 Thief Trackers. The dangers of bogus
callers, and how a biker helped tracked down motorbike
thieves 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Searching for antiques
in Lewes, East Sussex (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One;
Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45
Doctors. Karen attempts to heal the rift between a family
and a carer. Sid tries to support Ayesha, and Ruhma and
Mrs Tembe play the name game (AD) 2.15 Red Rock.
Guilty Liam makes his final plans, while Patricia receives
a rough reception at the family firm (AD) 3.00 Escape to
the Country. Sonali Shah searches for properties in Sussex
(r) (AD) 3.45 Garden Rescue. Transforming a musician’s
garden in Oxton, Birkenhead (AD) 4.30 Celebrity Money
for Nothing. Transforming old items belonging to Ann
Widdecombe and Edwina Currie 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show
hosted by Alexander Armstrong 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30 Council House
Crackdown (r) 7.15 Garden Rescue (r) (AD) 8.00 Sign
Zone: Nadiya’s British Food Adventure (r) (AD, SL) 8.30
Great British Menu (r) (SL) 9.00 Victoria Derbyshire
11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 12.00 Daily Politics 1.00pm
For What It’s Worth (r) 1.45 Countryfile (r) 2.10 Glorious
Gardens from Above (r) 2.55 Coast Australia. The team
heads to the northern tip of Queensland to explore the
Torres Strait Islands, with Tim Flannery visiting the spot
where James Cook claimed Australia for Great Britain (r)
(AD) 3.45 Great British Railway Journeys. Michael
Portillo travels from St Helens to Knutsford (r) (AD) 4.15
Planet Earth II. Animals that live in jungles, including
creatures that glow in the dark which have never been
captured on film before, as well as freshwater dolphins
and the largest living lemur (r) (AD) 5.15 Flog It! The
team heads to De Montfort Hall in Leicester, where the
antiques experts Catherine Southon and Claire Rawle
search the queue for the best collectibles to take to
auction (r) 6.00 Richard Osman’s House of Games. Nish
Kumar, Clara Amfo, Anneka Rice and Al Murray test their
skills 6.30 Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features, including an interview with Ashley
Walters about the second series of the drama Safe House
8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment and fashion news, as well
as showbiz stories, cooking and gossip. Presented by
Lorraine Kelly 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat
show 10.30 This Morning. Phillip Schofield and Holly
Willoughby present chat with famous faces and lifestyle
features, including a look at the stories making the
newspaper headlines and a recipe in the kitchen 12.30pm
Loose Women. The ladies put the world to rights once
more and are joined by Gemma Collins from Towie, and
the councillor-turned-Twitter star Karen Danzcuk 1.30
ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder. Cameras follow
the criminal barrister Robert Rinder as he takes on
real-life cases in a studio courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real
Deal. David Dickinson and the dealers are in
Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire, where a diamond ring, a
1950s swimsuit and an autograph book are among the
items being valued (r) 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard
hosts the quiz show 5.00 The Chase. Quiz show 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 The King of Queens (r) 8.00
Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 9.00 Frasier (r) 10.05
Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r) 11.00 Coast vs
Country (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News Summary 12.05pm
Couples Come Dine with Me. Three Jersey couples
compete for the cash prize of £1,000 (r) 1.05 French
Collection. Three collectors are given 800 euros to spend
at an antiques market in the small town of Sommieres
near Montpellier, under the watchful eye of expert dealer
Mark Franks 2.10 Countdown. With Gloria Hunniford
3.00 Cheap Cheap Cheap. A spoon becomes a £5,000
conundrum for one couple in Noel Edmonds’ game show
4.00 A Place in the Sun: Winter Sun. A retired woman
hoping to relocate to Barbados (r) 5.00 Come Dine with
Me. A vintage shop owner serves up a retro menu in
Middlesbrough 5.30 Streetmate. Scarlett Moffatt finds
dates for a tennis fan and a hairdresser 6.00 The
Simpsons. Homer choreographs the Super Bowl half-time
show. With the voice of the figure skater Michelle Kwan
(r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks. Zack books a fancy meal for
himself and Leela at Nightingale’s, while Kathy does not
want Tegan anywhere near Leah and Lucas (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Studio debate
on the day’s news 11.15 The Yorkshire Vet. Peter Wright
takes a trip to a retirement home for sheep, where one of
the younger residents has had her good life spoiled by a
sore hoof (r) (AD) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15
The Hotel Inspector. Alex Polizzi visits a hotel in North
Yorkshire, where the owners are deliberately not telling
their guests that the establishment is situated in the
middle of an equine centre (r) 1.15 Home and Away (AD)
1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS. (2/2) Agent Callen
goes undercover, Tony questions Ziva’s loyalty to the
team, and a psychologist uncovers the truth about the
relationship between Gibbs and Agent Macy (r) (AD)
3.10 FILM: A Risk Worth Taking (PG, TVM, 2008)
A woman caring for her terminally ill husband at their
home in the wilds of Scotland develops feelings for a
friend who is helping to manage their business affairs.
Romantic drama with Muriel Baumeister and James Wilby
5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Paul resorts to
underhanded methods to get rid of Nick (r) (AD) 6.00
Home and Away. Ash tells Kat nothing happened between
him and Tori (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones present the live magazine,
featuring chat with famous faces
and stories of interest
7.30 EastEnders Steven is thrown into
turmoil when his plan spirals out of
control and he realises his actions
could lead to tragic consequences (AD)
7.00 This Farming Life Martin and Mel
introduce their four-month-old
daughter. In Fife, buffalo farmer Stevie
must select a new bull from his herd,
while Highland crofters Robin and
Penny chase a runaway calf. Alistair
has to leave Janet alone on Mull while
he travels to the mainland (2/12)
7.00 Emmerdale Emma wreaks fresh
havoc, and Jai masks his concerns
about Nell’s pregnancy (AD)
8.00 Who Do You Think You Are? The
EastEnders actress Lisa Hammond
investigates her paternal grandfather’s
experiences in the Second World War,
before tracing back through her
mother’s side of the family.
See Viewing Guide (9/10) (AD)
8.00 The Big Family Cooking
Showdown Italian home
cooking goes up against traditional
Indian food as the Massaccesis
from Wiltshire take on the Gangotra
sisters from Birmingham. Culinary
competition hosted by Zoe Ball and
Nadiya Hussain (4/12) (AD)
9.00 Ambulance An ambulance crew is
dispatched to help a woman with pains
in her stomach. But it soon turns out
she is having a massive heart attack.
A call supervisor must oversee the
delivery of a baby over the phone (3/8)
9.00 Tribes, Predators & Me New series.
Gordon Buchanan sets out to gain a
new understanding of fierce predators
by meeting tribes that hunt and live
alongside them. He begins on Owarigi
in the Solomon Islands, where the local
men encounter sharks almost every
day. See Viewing Guide (1/3) (AD)
Late
11PM
10PM
BBC One
Early
Lisa Hammond is best
known as the gobby
market stall-holder
Donna Yates in
EastEnders. Hammond
was raised in the
East End of London
and feels a strong
connection to the city.
“I hope to discover
that I’m not from the
country,” she says,
laughing. No worries
there. On her mother’s
side her researches go
back to her three-times
great-grandfather
William Hilditch,
who worked on the
docks at Limehouse.
On her father’s side
she discovers that
her Shoreditch-born
grandfather was a
prisoner of war during
the treacherous
7PM
doesn’t take kindly to.
It comes after Worth’s
family, violence erupts
on both sides and we
find out exactly what
sort of cop Worth was
before he kicked the
booze and emigrated.
All ten episodes of
this bloody revenge
thriller are available
to watch on Now TV
after the first one ends.
The bingers will be
in for a late night.
8PM
a packed lunch. It’s
also not long before the
quiet in the idyllic town
is disturbed when a big
oil developer reveals
its plans to open a
new refinery near
by. Half the town want
the income it would
generate, while others
worry about an influx
of migrant workers.
Worth falls in the latter
camp and takes a stand,
which the oil company
9PM
Top
pick
town in Colorado.
Nothing much happens
in Little Big Bear: there
is so little for Worth
to do in his job that he
goes fishing. However,
this is not a charming
dramedy about a fish
out of water. There
are hints that, despite
his sobriety, devotion
to his family and
understated manner,
Worth may be a
sandwich short of
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Cricket on 5 England v West Indies.
Mark Nicholas presents highlights of
the opening day of the third Test,
which took place at Lord’s. With
commentary by Michael Vaughan,
Geoffrey Boycott and Simon Hughes
8.00 Emmerdale Nell becomes desperate
as relations between her and Jai
remain strained, while Leyla is stunned
when she finds out her best friend
slept with her fiancé. Debbie puts on a
brave face as the deal turns sour (AD)
8.00 Lego Masters The comedian Bill
Bailey joins the judges as the teams
compete in challenges on the theme of
the great outdoors, building a display
for a nature walk to be transported to
a woodland in Essex. Presented by
Melvin Odoom (3/4) (AD)
8.00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords Harrow Council carry out
raids on several dangerous properties,
only to find vulnerable tenants in
uninhabitable conditions. Plus,
a man who made the mistake of
renting his home to a friend — who
then sublet the property to strangers
9.00 Safe House New series. The drama
returns with a new cast, location and
story. A woman’s abduction convinces
former detective Tom that a killer he
once investigated has returned, so the
victim’s family are soon placed under
his protection. Thriller with Stephen
Moyer. See Viewing Guide (1/4) (AD)
9.00 Educating Greater Manchester
The student development team help a
12-year-old who is risking her future at
the school by constantly flying off the
handle, and a seven months’ pregnant
15-year-old who could miss her GCSEs.
See Viewing Guide (2/8) (AD)
9.00 Gypsy Kids: Our Secret World
Eleven-year-old Albert prepares for
his first competitive boxing match,
keen to impress his father and earn
himself a solid reputation in the
community. Meanwhile, Sheri-Anne
tries to master the art of standing
on the back of a moving horse (2/7)
7.30 Undercover: Breaking Into Britain
— Tonight An insight into
the trade in fake passports allowing
people to enter Britain illegally
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.00 MOTD: The Premier League Show
Gabby Logan presents the magazine
featuring news and highlights
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Kirsty Wark
10.30 Regional News
11.15 Mountain: Life at the Extreme
This episode looks at life on the
highest mountain range on Earth,
the Himalayas, following snow
leopards as they creep into isolated
mountain villages (2/3) (r) (AD)
11.10 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive
The five remaining famous faces
choose from a selection of edible and
poisonous flora, before carrying a
“seriously injured” Meg to safety
on a makeshift stretcher and
face an assault course (3/6) (r)
12.15am Sign Zone: Celebrity MasterChef The
famous faces vie for a place in the semi-finals (r) (AD,
SL) 1.45-2.45 The Sheriffs Are Coming. The officers
confront a man who has not paid the rent he owes to
a single mother, and agent Lawrence is on the trail of
the £30,000 owed by a financial advisor (r) (AD, SL)
12.05am Jackpot247 3.00 Undercover: Breaking
Into Britain — Tonight. Jonathan Maitland presents an
undercover investigation into the security of Britain’s
borders, and the trade in fake passports allowing
people to enter the country illegally (r) 3.25 ITV
Nightscreen 5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
10.45 Reggie Yates: Hidden Australia
Reggie Yates travels to Melbourne to
find out why Australia’ss second city is
facing such a dangerous epidemic of
the drug known as Ice (AD)
11.35 Should I Marry My Cousin?
Documentary in which Bradford-born
Hiba Maroof explores the custom
of first-cousin marriage, a practice
that has gone on in her family for
generations. Although she is only 18,
she is already talking about marriage,
but faces a dilemma — wed a cousin
or go her own independent way
12.15am-6.00 BBC News
10.45 Regional Programme
10.00 The Great British Bake Off: An
Extra Slice Jo Brand and her famous
guests discuss biscuit week, and chat
to the contestant who was eliminated
by Paul and Prue (2/10) (AD)
10.50 Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls
Five days in, and still without fire,
shelter or a proper meal, Ryan Thomas
and Iwan Thomas decide to prioritise
making a shelter — with disastrous
consequences for the group (r) (AD)
11.55 The Secret Life of the Holiday
Resort Documentary (2/2) (r)
12.55am White Kid, Brown Kid Documentary (r) (AD,
SL) 1.50 One Born Every Minute. A couple receive some
worrying news about their unborn baby (r) (AD) 2.45
Trump’s War on the Border (r) 3.40 From Russia to Iran:
Crossing the Wild Frontier (r) (AD) 4.35 The Supervet:
Bionic Specials (r) 5.30-6.00 Too Many Cooks (r)
10.00 Celeb Trolls: We’re Coming to Get
You The team targets a troll who sent
aggressive messages to Geordie Shore
star Zahida Allen. Rebecca Adlington,
and Lauren Goodger talk about the
abuse they have received (3/3)
11.00 My Secret Sex Fantasy
People reveal their deepest desires,
including a 25-year-old, who fantasises
about a specific body part, and an
ex-police officer who dreams of
cheating on her imaginary husband
with multiple men (2/4)
12.00 SuperCasino Live interactive gaming 3.10am
Best of Up Late with Rylan. Highlights of the chat show,
hosted by Rylan Clark-Neal 4.00 Now That’s Funny!
A selection of kitchen nightmares (r) (SL) 4.45 House
Doctor. A cluttered B&B on the Norfolk coast (r) (SL) 5.10
House Busters (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Nick’s Quest (r) (SL)
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
13
1GT
television & radio
takes him four days
to get there. The
tribe subsist mainly on
fish, and Buchanan is
educated in the art
of spear-fishing by
two local men. They
encounter sharks every
day, but Buchanan is
part of the generation
that watched Jaws and
is understandably wary.
“If you see a shark,
look it in the eyes,” he
is told. Despite his fear
of sharks, Buchanan is
soon more concerned
that he hasn’t seen any.
Sharks are a sign of a
healthy reef — their
absence says a lot.
Safe House
ITV, 9pm
For the second series of
the ITV crime thriller,
all that remains is the
idea. Even the location
has changed. The safe
house is now situated
in the wilds of Anglesey
and Stephen Moyer
(True Blood) plays
the ex-cop (a role filled
in the first series by
Christopher Eccleston,
who was mysteriously
“stood down”) whose
abode is used as a
sanctuary for people at
risk. Moyer’s character
becomes involved when
an abduction takes
place. It bears all the
hallmarks of “the
Crow”, a twisted
assailant he supposedly
put away in 2008. Jason
Watkins, Zoe Tapper
and Ashley Walters
also star in this creepily
effective opener.
Educating Greater
Manchester
Channel 4, 9pm
“Everything comes
through our doors,”
says Michelle Kay,
a member of Harrop
Fold Secondary
School’s student
development team.
“They fell out with
their mate, they fell out
with their boyfriend,
their football team’s
lost, their dog’s died or
they’re upset and they
don’t know why they’re
upset.” The team are
there to support the
children’s social and
emotional needs
and they have their
work cut out dealing
with the emotionally
volatile 12-year-old
Katelyn. Also at
risk is 15-year-old
Mia — seven months
pregnant, she is just
a few months away
from taking her GCSEs,
but poor attendance
and health problems
are threatening her
future at school.
Sport choice
Sky Sports Cricket, 10am
After being outplayed
at Edgbaston, West
Indies fought back in
the second Test against
England to clinch
a famous victory.
Shai Hope became
the first batsman to
score centuries in both
innings at Headingley.
The third Test begins
today at Lord’s.
Sky1
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Hawaii Five-0 (r) 8.00 Monkey Life (r)
(AD) 9.00 The Dog Whisperer (r) (AD) 10.00
Modern Family (r) 11.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
12.00 Hawaii Five-0 (r) 2.00pm NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 3.00 Supergirl (r) 4.00 The Flash (r)
6.00 Modern Family. The families prepare to
woo their partners on Valentine’s Day (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo. With Rob Brydon,
Emma Bunton and Carol Vorderman
9.00 Carpool Karaoke Special. With Katy Perry
and Jennifer Lopez (r) (AD)
10.00 A League of Their Own. The best
moments from the 11th series of the
sports-based comedy quiz (r) (AD)
11.00 Freddie Down Under. Andrew Flintoff
and Rob Penn head to Darwin (r) (AD)
12.00 A League of Their Own. Sports-based
quiz (r) (AD) 1.00am The Force: Manchester (r)
(AD) 2.00 Ross Kemp: Battle for the Amazon
(r) (AD) 3.00 Motorway Patrol (r) (AD) 4.00
Animal 999 (r) (AD) 5.00 Road Wars (r)
6.00am Fish Town (r) 8.00 Urban Secrets (r)
9.00 Storm City (r) (AD) 10.00 The West Wing
(r) 12.00 Without a Trace (r) 1.00pm CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The British (r) (AD) 4.00
The West Wing. Political drama (r)
6.00 Without a Trace. The team investigates
the case of a missing teenager (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
The skeleton of a woman is discovered (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. A police officer is accused of
killing a suspect who was in custody (r) (AD)
9.00 Tin Star. Revenge-driven thriller starring
Tim Roth. See Viewing Guide (1/10) (r)
10.00 Ballers. Spencer finds himself in
damage-control mode after an incident
10.35 Insecure. Issa struggles for attention on
her own terms. Lawrence gets a wake-up call
11.10 Tin Star. Thriller with Tim Roth (1/10) (r)
12.10am Thought Crimes: The Case Of The
Cannibal Cop (r) 1.50 The Wire (r) 3.15
Looking (r) 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Cooks to Market (r) 6.15 60 Minute
Makeover (r) 7.15 Border Security: Canada’s
Front Line (r) (AD) 8.15 Road Wars (r) (AD)
9.15 My Kitchen Rules: Australia (r) 10.30
Nothing to Declare (r) 12.00 Criminal Minds (r)
1.00pm Bones (r) (AD) 2.00 Cold Case (r) 3.00
Cooks to Market (r) 3.15 Stop, Search, Seize (r)
(AD) 4.15 UK Border Force (r) (AD) 5.15
Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.15 Nothing to Declare. Documentary (r) (AD)
6.45 My Kitchen Rules: Australia.
The second Sudden Death Cook Off
8.00 Sun, Sea and A&E. Documentary (r) (AD)
9.00 How to Get Away with Murder. Annalise
gets a tip that leads to a heated confrontation
10.00 Criminal Minds. A congressman’s wife is
held to ransom. Shemar Moore stars (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds. An American family are
kidnapped in Barbados. Gary Sinise guests (r)
12.00 Criminal Minds (r) 1.00am Grey’s
Anatomy (r) 3.00 Bones (r) (AD) 4.00 Criminal
Minds (r) 5.00 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.00am La Traviata 8.05 Auction 8.30
Watercolour Challenge 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected 10.00 UB40: Live at Montreux Jazz
Festival 2002 12.00 Discovering: John Wayne
(AD) 1.00pm Tales of the Unexpected 2.00
Auction 2.30 Watercolour Challenge 3.00 Tina
Turner: Live in Amsterdam 5.00 Discovering:
Elton John. Reflecting on the singer’s career
6.00 Discovering: Charlton Heston (AD)
7.00 Treasures of the British Library (AD)
8.00 Inside the Actors Studio: Bryan Cranston
9.00 The Lot of Fun: Where the Movies Learned
to Laugh. Documentary about Hal Roach
10.00 Laurel and Hardy: Their Lives and Magic.
Documentary about the genuine friendship
between Stan Laurel and Oliver Hardy
11.45 Monty Python’s Personal Best
1.00am Tales of the Unexpected. Double bill
2.30 Watercolour Challenge 3.00 The Lot of
Fun: Where the Movies Learned to Laugh.
Documentary 4.00 Hollywood Gossip (AD)
5.00 The South Bank Show Originals
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans 9.00 Live
International Netball: New Zealand v England
(Centre-pass 8.45). Coverage of the first of
three fixtures in the Taini Jamison Trophy, which
takes place at Te Rauparaha Arena in Porirua
10.00 Live Test Cricket: England v West
Indies. Coverage of day one of the
series-concluding Third Test at Lord’s
6.30pm Test Cricket: The Verdict
7.00 Sky Sports Tonight
7.30 Live Super League Super 8s: Wakefield
Trinity v St Helens (Kick-off 8.00).
Coverage of the fixture, which takes place
at the Rapid Solicitors Stadium
10.00 Live The Debate. Premier League news
11.00 Through the Night
12.00 NFL Undiscovered 12.30am Live NFL:
New England Patriots v Kansas City Chiefs
(Kick-off 1.30). Coverage of the AFC match from
Gillette Stadium in Foxborough, Massachusetts,
as the new season gets under way 4.45 Super
League Super 8s 5.00 Through the Night
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 12.00midday-1.00pm
First Minister’s Questions. Nicola Sturgeon
answers questions in the Scottish Parliament
7.00 The Beechgrove Garden. Carole Baxter
finds out how the budget vegetable growers
have fared 7.30-8.00 Timeline. Stories and
analysis from across the country
ITV Anglia
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Anglia Late
Edition. Political issues affecting the region
ITV Border
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Around the
House. Political discussion with Paul Brand
ITV Central
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Central Lobby.
Alison Mackenzie hosts the political discussion
ITV Granada
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 The Granada
Debate. Political debate with Alison Mackenzie
ITV London
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 The Late
Debate. News and events at Westminster
ITV Meridian
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 The Last
Word. Political stories in the region
ITV Tyne Tees
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Around the
House. Political discussion with Paul Brand
ITV Wales
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Fishlock’s
Choice. The story of the greatest mass escape
by German prisoners on British soil (r)
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm World News Today; Weather
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1984. Steve Wright and
Andy Peebles present the June 28 show, with
the Bluebells, Human League, Bob Marley
and the Wailers, and Alison Moyet (r)
8.00 Britain’s Outlaws: Highwaymen, Pirates
and Rogues. The historian Sam Willis examines
piracy during the early 18th century, charting
the devastating impact it had during an era of
colonial expansion and how it spawned the
most wanted outlaws in the world (r) (AD)
9.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making of Modern
Britain. Andrew Marr examines Britain in the
1930s, when the financial crash on Wall Street
sent shockwaves through the nation and
brought widespread chaos (5/6) (r) (AD)
10.00 BBC Proms 2017. The world-renowned
pianist Andras Schiff presents a solo piano
recital at the Royal Albert Hall, performing Book
One of Bach’s The Well-Tempered Clavier, a cycle
he will complete next year with Book Two
12.00 Wonders of the Universe (r) 1.00am
Top of the Pops: 1984 (r) 1.35 Motown at
the BBC (r) 2.35-3.35 Britain’s Outlaws:
Highwaymen, Pirates and Rogues (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 6.30 Coach Trip:
Road to Zante (r) (AD) 7.00 Made in Chelsea (r)
8.00 Melissa & Joey (r) (AD) 9.00 Black-ish (r)
(AD) 10.00 Baby Daddy (r) 11.00 How I Met
Your Mother (r) (AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r)
(AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
2.00 Melissa & Joey (r) 3.00 Baby Daddy (r)
(AD) 4.00 2 Broke Girls (r) (AD) 5.00 The
Goldbergs. Double bill (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Lily continues to struggle (AD)
7.30 Coach Trip: Road to Zante (AD)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 Kevin Can Wait (AD)
9.00 Body Fixers. Treating badly scarred legs
10.00 Celebs Go Dating. Bobby Norris goes
on date number two with Paul (AD)
11.05 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.35 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.00 Gogglebox. From May 2017 (r) (AD, SL)
1.05am Celebs Go Dating (r) (AD) 2.05 First
Dates (r) (AD) 3.00 Body Fixers (r) 3.50
Kevin Can Wait (r) (AD) 4.15 Black-ish (r)
(AD) 5.00 How I Met Your Mother (r) (AD)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Summer Sun (r)
11.00 Four in a Bed (r) 1.40pm A Place in the
Sun: Summer Sun (r) 3.50 Time Team (r) 5.55
Vet on the Hill. A five-month-old puppy (r)
6.55 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces.
Meeting a couple seeking to breathe new life
into a Dutch barge with low ceilings (r) (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. Kevin McCloud follows the
progress of a couple as they try to build a
four-storey mansion in Brighton (8/8) (r) (AD)
9.00 Outlander. Claire and Geillis are put on
trial for witchcraft, and Jamie manages to
rescue the nurse — but not before she discovers
a secret about her co-accused’s past (AD)
10.15 A Very British Brothel. A return visit to a
Sheffield massage parlour, run by a mother and
daughter, which sees business booming for
owner Kath, who harbours plans to open
a second establishment (2/2) (r) (AD)
11.20 24 Hours in A&E. A woman involved in a
motorbike accident is brought to St George’s
Hospital in London (1/8) (r) (AD)
12.20am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
A cafe in Pasadena, California (r) 1.20 Outlander
(r) (AD) 2.35-3.35 Grand Designs (r) (AD)
11.00am Yangtse Incident (U, 1957)
Fact-based naval adventure with Richard Todd
(b/w) (AD) 12.50pm The Cockleshell Heroes
(U, 1955) Fact-based Second World War drama
with José Ferrer 2.50 The Colditz Story (U,
1954) Second World War drama starring John
Mills (b/w) 4.50 Carry On Constable (U,
1960) Comedy starring Sid James (b/w) (AD)
6.35 Vertical Limit (12, 2000) A wildlife
photographer masters his fears and climbs the
world’s second highest mountain to rescue his
sister. Action adventure starring Chris O’Donnell
9.00 Oblivion (12, 2013) A repairman
salvaging resources from a devastated future
Earth discovers a secret that threatens the
human race. Sci-fi adventure with Tom Cruise
Morgan Freeman and Olga Kurylenko (AD)
11.25 Kick-Ass 2 (15, 2013) Amateur
vigilante Dave joins a team of crimefighters,
but faces the world’s first supervillain. Action
comedy sequel with Aaron Taylor-Johnson,
Chloë Grace Moretz and Jim Carrey (AD)
1.30am-3.45 Return of the One-Armed
Swordsman (18, 1969) Martial arts action
sequel starring Jimmy Wang. In Mandarin
6.00am You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 6.25
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 7.15
Below Deck (r) 8.00 Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.30
Coronation Street (r) (AD) 9.00 You’ve Been
Framed! Gold (r) 9.30 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (r) 10.20 Below Deck (r) 11.15 Dress to
Impress (r) 12.20pm Emmerdale (r) (AD)
12.50 Coronation Street (r) (AD) 1.20 You’ve
Been Framed! (r) 1.50 The Ellen DeGeneres
Show (r) 2.45 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r)
6.00 Dress to Impress. A picky photographer
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold Top 100
Weddings. Marital mishaps with Harry Hill (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
9.30 Family Guy (r) (AD)
10.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
10.30 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.00 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.30 American Dad! (r) (AD)
12.00 American Dad! Roger slips into a coma (r)
(AD) 12.30am Two and a Half Men (r) 1.25
Viral Tap (r) 2.05 Totally Bonkers Guinness
World Records (r) 2.30 Teleshopping
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am The Royal (r) (AD) 7.50 Heartbeat (r)
(AD) 8.50 Where the Heart Is (r) (AD) 9.55
Judge Judy (r) 11.10 Rising Damp (r) 11.40
You’re Only Young Twice (r) 12.10pm On the
Buses (r) 12.45 Griff’s Great Britain (r) 1.15
Heartbeat (r) (AD) 2.15 The Royal (r) (AD)
4.20 You’re Only Young Twice (r) 4.55
On the Buses (r) 5.25 Rising Damp (r)
6.00 Heartbeat. Rob attempts to track
down an escaped killer (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Jessica investigates
the death of an artist (r) (AD)
8.00 Foyle’s War. As the Second World War
continues to rage, Foyle investigates a pro-Hitler
organisation he suspects may be linked
to a mysterious death (1/3) (r) (AD)
10.05 Law & Order: UK. A psychiatrist
is stabbed to death (2/8) (r) (AD)
11.10 The Suspicions of Mr Whicher: The
Murder in Angel Lane. Having left his career at
the Met, Whicher is hired to investigate the
murder of a woman’s niece (r) (AD)
1.05am Wycliffe. Jack Shepherd stars (r) (SL)
2.00 ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am Storage Wars: Texas (r) 6.25 Minder
(r) (AD) 7.15 The Professionals (r) (AD, SL)
8.15 The Chase (r) 9.15 Cycling: Vuelta a
España (r) 10.15 Storage Wars: Texas (r)
10.45 Cycling: Tour of Britain 11.45 Live
Cycling: Tour of Britain Live. Coverage of stage
five 3.00pm Quincy ME (r) 4.00 Minder (r)
(AD) 5.00 The Professionals (r) (AD)
6.00 Storage Wars: Texas (r)
6.30 Storage Wars: Texas (r)
7.00 Cycling: Vuelta a España. Action from the
18th stage of the Grand Tour race
8.00 Cycling: Tour of Britain
9.00 FILM: The Enforcer (18, 1976)
Maverick cop “Dirty” Harry Callahan is
unwillingly teamed up with a female partner as
he takes on a terrorist group. Crime thriller
sequel with Clint Eastwood and Tyne Daly (AD)
11.05 FILM: Senna (12, 2010)
Documentary exploring the life of the Formula
One world champion Ayrton Senna (AD)
1.15am The Professionals. A former agent
turns to murder (r) (AD) 2.05 Minder (r) (AD,
SL) 2.55 ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Scrapheap
Challenge 8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters UK 10.00 American Pickers 12.00 Jay
Leno’s Garage 1.00pm Top Gear (AD) 3.00
Brojects in the House 3.30 Brojects 4.00 Cops
UK: Bodycam Squad 5.00 Top Gear (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. Mark Wahlberg guests (AD)
7.00 Cops UK: Bodycam Squad. Following
the work of the Staffordshire Police force
8.00 Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm.
Nick journeys to Berlin to reinvent himself
8.30 Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm. Nick
returns to his family home town of St Albans
9.00 John Bishop: In Conversation with Jo
Brand. John chats to the comedian and actress
10.00 Not Going Out. Lucy is forced to look after
her god-daughter. Paul Kaye guest stars
10.40 Not Going Out. Lee persuades Lucy to
spend a weekend on his dad’s new boat
11.20 QI. With Jimmy Carr and Rory McGrath
12.00 Would I Lie to You? With guests Gregg
Wallace 12.40am Mock the Week 1.20 QI 2.00
Would I Lie to You? 2.40 Parks and Recreation
3.35 The Indestructibles 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 Dangerfield 9.00 Pie in
the Sky 10.00 All Creatures Great and Small
11.00 The Bill 1.00pm Last of the Summer
Wine 1.40 Brush Strokes 2.20 Birds of a
Feather 3.00 Dangerfield 4.00 Pie in the Sky
5.00 All Creatures Great and Small
6.00 Brush Strokes. Jacko worries that
he is losing his way with the ladies
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo agrees to
try out Seymour’s latest invention
7.20 To the Manor Born. Richard is reprimanded
8.00 Rizzoli & Isles. The duo investigate
a series of copycat murders (2/10) (AD)
9.00 New Tricks. The death of a wealthy
financier is reinvestigated (1/10) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. The squad re-examines an
assault case that left the victim in a coma, and
uncovers a possible connection with a private
detective’s disappearance (2/8) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Sharon and
Tracey prepare for royal neighbours
12.00 The Bill. Frank Burnside goes under cover
1.00am The Cazalets 2.10 David Copperfield
3.00 Garrow’s Law (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Antiques Roadshow 7.10 Medieval
Dead 8.00 The Light of Dawn: The Normandy
Landings 9.00 Tenko 10.00 Time Team
2.00pm Secrets of War 4.00 Sharpe
6.00 Tenko. A group of Dutch women arrives at
the camp, laden down with valuable possessions
7.00 WWI’s First Frontline Cameraman.
Documentary about the first man to capture
the First World War on film (AD)
8.00 Murder Maps. A woman who conspired
with her lover to murder her husband
9.00 Fawlty Towers. Basil tries to stop an
unmarried couple lowering moral standards (AD)
9.50 Monty Python: Live at Aspen. Reunion
show from 1998 featuring surviving Pythons
John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle,
Terry Jones and Michael Palin
11.10 Fawlty Towers. Hotel inspectors throw
Basil into a panic. Bernard Cribbins guests (AD)
11.50 Murder Maps. A woman who conspired
with her lover to murder her husband
12.45am WWI’s First Frontline Cameraman
(AD) 1.45 Secrets of War 2.35 Raiders
of the Lost Art 3.00 Home Shopping
ITV West
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10
The Westcountry Debate
ITV Westcountry
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10
The Westcountry Debate
ITV Yorkshire
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Last Orders
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 Chris Froome: Sports Life Stories (r)
12.05am Teleshopping 1.05 After Midnight
2.35 Undercover: Breaking Into Britain —
Tonight (r) 3.00-5.05 ITV Nightscreen
UTV
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.10 Lesser
Spotted Journeys 12.05am Teleshopping
1.05-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Murdaidh (Jakers! The Adventures
of Piggley Winks) (r) 5.25 Padraig Post: SDS
(Postman Pat: SDS) (r) 5.40 Blàrag a’ Bhò
(Connie the Cow) (r) 5.45 Su Shiusaidh (Little
Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.50 BB agus Bellag (r) 5.55
Robin Hood: Comhstri sa Choille (r) 6.10 Tree
Fu Tom (r) 6.30 Dè a-nis? (What Now?) (r)
7.00 Bailtean Alba (Scotland’s Towns) (r) 7.25
Speaking Our Language (r) 7.50 Ceòl bho
Perthshire Amber (r) 8.00 An Là (News)
8.30 Gaisgich na Stoirme (Storm Heroes) (r)
9.00 Turas Tony: Reis Beinn Neibhis (r)
10.00 Belladrum 2016: Cridhe Tartan —
Skipinnish (r) 10.30 Tuiteam an Teaghlaich
Romanov (Last Days of the Romanovs) (r)
11.25 Togaidh Sinn Fonn (Join in the Music) (r)
11.50-11.55 Dhan Uisge (Loch Maree) (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw 12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
12.05pm Heno (r) 1.00 Bwyd y Tywysogion (r)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Iolo yn Rwsia
(r) (AD) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Ffeil
5.05 Stwnsh: Pigo Dy Drwyn 5.35 Stwnsh:
Chwarter Call (r) 6.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
6.05 Cwpwrdd Dillad (r) 6.30 Stori Pêl-Droed
Cymru (r) 7.00 Heno 7.30 Rownd a Rownd (r)
(AD) 8.00 Pobol y Cwm (AD) 8.25 Celwydd
Noeth 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd 9.30 Nigel
Owens: Wyt ti’n Gêm? 10.00 Hansh 10.30
Codi Hwyl (r) (AD) 11.00-11.35 Llys Nini (r)
14
Thursday September 7 2017 | the times
1GT
What are your favourite puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
MindGames
times2 Crossword No 7438
2
3
4
5
4
6
8
7
9
1
26
7
19
12
10
4
18
14
26
17
4
14
25
5
21
14
25
14
12
1
9
4
10
4
5
2
14
23
14
17
18
21
5
5
5
10
7
14
5
21
23
2L
20
4
16
12
15
2L
15
15
16
17
21
5
5
8
10
15
12
4
15
22
23
23
21
17
11
15
5
23
12
19
26
6
5
20
Solution to Crossword 7437
O E A
SQUAD
S R U
W I DE
L
F
K
T
B Y P A S S
E C
GURKHA
A
I
M
ENS L A V
L
H
L
I
E
TO
CAD I Z
U
RON
B
E V E
A
S T
E
I N
N
E S
I
R TO
U
T T E
I
R
RAG
M
R I F
S
J UR
E E
R I F
K
L
I S E
N X
R
E
N
E
G
E
Y
T
16 Dismiss as being foolish
(4-4)
17 High mass of land (4)
20 Woodland god (5)
21 Non-professional (7)
22 Faster than Mach 5 (10)
20
15
7
21
6
7
12
13
15
18
19
2L
2L
2L
12
4
21
15
10
23
24
18
5
10
17
12
NODAHOW
26
Can you score exactly 45 points
with this rack?
20
12
15
4
18
23
22
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
Use only the board area shown. Collins Official
Scrabble Words is the authority used, although the
solutions are not unusual words. Standard Scrabble
rules apply for making the word plays.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
P
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
13
U
21
22
23
24
25
© PUZZLER MEDIA
1
26
M
Flower of cornfields (5)
To and fro (4,3,5)
Hit with a whip (4)
Thingummy (6)
Marine creature with five
arms (8)
Trained bird (6,6)
Unorthodox opinion (6)
Gathering of women (3,5)
Mischievous (6)
Public show of respect (6)
Words to a song (5)
— Christian Andersen,
writer (4)
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday’s solution, right
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 88010. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Lexica
No 3907
No 3908
U
N
E
S
C
H
L
N
C
S
O
S
T
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
U
O
P
O
I
F
Y
M
E
T
E
E
L
E
E
Y
M
Z
D
O
B
I
A
N
G
U
I
H
C
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Difficult No 4114
Futoshiki No 2994
Challenge compiled by Allan Simmons
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2017
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
88010 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 415 029)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Kakuro No 1953
<
∨
24
22
14
15
24
6
3
6
25
19
30
11
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
7
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
14 15
1
∨
Key
2L = double letter
3L = triple letter
2W = double word
3W = triple word
Letter values
AEIOULNRST=1
DG=2 BCMP=3
FHVWY=4 K=5
JX=8 QZ=10
What is the elusive triple word
play with this rack?
23
Down
1
2
3
4
5
13
POWHEAD
22
1 Stones and mortar applied
to external walls (6-4)
8 Pablo —, artist (7)
9 Dwelling (5)
10 Yes (informally) (4)
11 Measure of radioactive
decay rate (4-4)
13 Pop music style (5)
14 Very wet and soft (5)
11 12
a
3L
awN
2L
i T
2L
2W
o
r 2L
honey
3L
z
2L
2L
e
2L
3W
yes
2L
24
21
Across
10
18
19
20
9
3W
5
26
10
12
15
8
7
13
12
14
9
3
18
P
21
14
23
13
24
4
1
11
12
U M
10
10
1
Scrabble ® Challenge No 1953
3
21
4
32
17
16
22
>
6
4
3
4
<
>
24
4
7
34
16
28
13
14
31
∧
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
4
35
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
12
4
14
29
13
17
10
14
28
24
23
© PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3122
the times | Thursday September 7 2017
15
1GT
MindGames
White: Robert Fischer
Black: Klaus Darga
Berlin 1960
French Defence
1 e4 e6 2 d4 d5 3 Nc3 Bb4 4 e5 c5
5 a3 Bxc3+ 6 bxc3 Ne7 7 a4 Qc7
8 Nf3 b6 9 Bb5+ Bd7 10 Bd3
The point of this manoeuvre is
to prevent Black from exchanging
light-squared bishops with ... Ba6.
10 ... Nbc6 11 0-0 c4 12 Be2 f6 13
Ba3
White posts his bishop on a
strong diagonal.
13 ... fxe5 14 dxe5 Nxe5 15 Re1
________
árD DkD 4]
à0 1bh 0p]
ß 0 DpD D]
ÞD Dph D ]
ÝPDpD D D]
ÜG ) DND ]
Û DPDB)P)]
Ú$ DQ$ I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
Fischer has happily given up a
pawn to mobilise his pieces. However, the game remains balanced.
EASY
56
MEDIUM
82
x 7 + 83
HARDER
168 + 975
OF IT
White has regained the pawn
but the position is simplified.
Black should now play 20 ... g6 to
prevent White’s next.
20 ... Rd7 21 f5 Nd8 22 Re3 Qf4
23 Rf3 Qe4 24 a5 Nc6
He cannot allow the queenside
to be opened up. 24 ... b5 was the
only hope.
25 axb6 axb6 26 Qb1 Kc7 27 Bc1
Qe1+ 28 Rf1 Qxc3 29 Bf4+ Kb7
30 Qb5 Black resigns
50%
OF IT
– 11
2/3
– 78
90%
OF IT
+ 44 +1/2 – 67
OF IT
60%
OF IT
+ 775
E
Pass
Pass(1) Pass
1♦(2) 1♠ (3)
2♥
3♥ (4)
Pass(5) 3♠
Dbl(6) Pass
4♥
Dbl (End)
(1) Top players dislike opening light in second chair — too much danger of being taken
overboard by partner.
(2) Top players hate throwing in the deal
when they can fight for the part-score. He
invents a 1♦ opener, planning to pass any
response.
(3) Phooey to suit quality when it’s a partscore battle (you think) and you own the
spade suit.
(4) Good spade raise.
(5) Wishing he’d thrown in the deal.
(6) Take-out.
90%
OF IT
+1/2 + 827
+ 498 OF
IT
Killer Gentle No 5614
15
15
3
3
22
13
15
7
5min
4
16
14
28
4
3
9
20
13
8
6
13
22
6
14
3
22
13
6
12
12
Killer Tough No 5615
24
27min
8
8
20
21
30
11
28
19
5
23
12
x
23
9 1 3
7 2 1
4 6
3 5
2
6 8 9
1 3
2 1
8 9 3
9 7 1
-
+
2
4
8
7
6
5
9
1
3
1
3
7
2
8
9
4
6
5
6
9
5
1
3
4
2
8
7
4
8
3
6
1
2
7
5
9
7
5
1
3
6
9
2
8
4
3
4
2
5
8
7
1
9
6
6
9
8
2
1
4
3
7
5
4
3
17
6
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
works? We’ve
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
4
2
3
7
5
1
9
6
8
S CO F F
E
C
R
R
A
UN TW I S T
L
H
A
P ROGRAM
T
D
U
J OB L E S
E
X
I
I
RA YON
C
R
K
AR E NA
P
N
L
G
E
T A F F E T A
5
1
2
8
9
7
6
3
4
8
5
6
9
7
1
3
4
2
9
2
4
3
5
6
8
7
1
3
7
1
4
2
8
5
9
6
5
6
9
8
4
2
7
1
3
1
8
7
6
9
3
5
4
2
2
3
4
1
7
8
6
5
9
8
7
6
9
3
5
4
2
1
9
1
5
4
2
6
8
3
7
7
3
9
6
8
1
5
4
2
6
5
2
3
4
9
1
8
7
2
3
6
X C
H
E
V
R
O
S N
RA
I
AR
E
D
8
4
1
5
7
2
9
6
3
2
7
4
9
6
5
8
3
1
1
5
3
8
9
2
4
7
6
9
6
2
1
7
4
8
5
3
8
7
4
6
5
3
2
9
1
4
2
2
2
9
7
4
3
1
5
6
8
1
6
5
7
3
8
2
9
4
3
1
8
2
9
6
4
7
5
5
9
6
4
1
7
3
2
8
4
2
7
8
5
3
6
1
9
3
8
6
5
2
7
9
1
4
4
1
5
9
6
8
7
3
2
6
2
1
7
4
5
3
8
9
5
3
8
2
1
9
6
4
7
7
4
9
3
8
6
1
2
5
4
1
4
4
5
3
5
1 < 3 < 4
3
4
1 < 2
∧
∧
5 > 2
3
2
-
x
3
2
3
8
7
+
x
-
+
2
∧
5
1
5
1
6
x
+
-
7
8
9
5
1
3
6
2
4
6
5
3
4
9
2
1
8
7
4
2
1
8
7
6
5
9
3
5
7
6
2
4
8
9
3
1
9
1
2
6
3
7
4
5
8
8
3
4
1
5
9
7
6
2
1
4
8
9
2
5
3
7
6
3
6
5
7
8
1
2
4
9
2
9
7
3
6
4
8
1
5
F
A
O
C
T
R
L
A
D
C
E
K
O
R
I
L
L
Y
Y
R
Lexica 3906
5
Set Square 1955
3 2
Suko 2023
Lexica 3905
Futoshiki 2993
3
Scrabble 1952
QUAYSIDE A8
down (77)
UNZIP B8
across (51)
I S E D
E
O
L E C T
I
A V E N
E
G
E S S
T
S
Z I L Y
B
S
QU E T
L
E
R E AM
Sudoku 9297
9
8
3
1
2
4
7
5
6
Killer 5613
4
8
13
=
2
Sudoku 9296
7
6
9
5
4
3
1
2
8
KenKen 4113
10
=2
=
13
5 8 7 9
7 6 9 8
9 8
3 1
7 9
1 2
1
7 8 6
3 1 2
3 1 2
4
3 1
7 1 8 9 3
2 9 7 1
7
13
÷
Codeword 3121
8
9 3
6
1
3 5
4
3 1
1 2
7
2
17
9
=2
+
=
8
All the digits
Solutions
Cell Blocks 3004
6
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
= 5 from 1-9 are
-
-
+
10
19
9
+
3
∨
1 < 2
25
3 2
-
2
8
3
4
6
6
3
-
Killer 5612
16
4
x
Sudoku 9295
13
6
2
Kakuro 1952
13
16
Contract: 4♥ Dbled, Opening Lead: ♠ A
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
3
Yesterday’s answers
demo, demon, deni, denim, dime,
dine, dome, done, exon, idem, index,
mend, meno, mien, mine, mixed,
mode, monied, monoxide, moxie,
nide, node, nome, odeon, omen, oxide
N(Espen)
king of spades discarding his diamond, gave up a club and ruffed a
club. Doubled game made.
After the ace of spades lead, the
winning defence is the queen of
spades. Declarer does best to ruff
and lead a heart but East wins and
leads a third spade. The key is to
give dummy the king before he
knows what to discard from hand
— so ruining the fork.
In one of the great comebacks,
Diamond overtook Lavazza on the
very last board to win the trophy.
4/5
OF IT
3
Set Square No 1956
Dealer: East, Vulnerability: Neither
W
OF IT
2 2
From these letters, make words of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 12 words, average;
16 good; 21, very good; 27, excellent
10
S(Boye)
OF IT
50%
OF IT
Polygon
Bridge Andrew Robson
♠ K 10 3
Teams
Advanced
♥KQ 9 2
♦K 9 7
♠ AQ J 2 ♣8 5N3
♠8 7 6 5 4
♥10 5
♥A
W E
♦J 8 6
♦A 10 4 3 2
S
♣Q 10 9 6
♣J 2
♠9
♥J 8 7 6 4 3
♦Q 5
♣A K 7 4
–4
x2
x 3 – 654
12
Chess Behind Bars by Carl Portman is published by Quality Chess.
7/8
+3
________
á Dk4 D 4]
à0 1 D 0p]
ß 0nDRD D]
ÞD DpD D ]
ÝPDpD ) D]
ÜG ) D D ]
Û DPD DP)]
Ú$ DQD I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
________
á D D D D] Winning Move
àDnD D Dp]
ß D Dpi D] White to play. This position is from
Helsingor 2017.
Þ) $ h 0 ] Sunilduth-Motylev,
The solution to this position demonstrates
Ý DpDPD D] an important concept in endgame play.
ÜD D D D ] Can you see what this concept is and how
Û D H D )] White continued in order to exploit it?
ÚD D D DK] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
The hero of the bridge world in the
21st century is Boye Brogeland of
Bergen, Norway. He was the
whistleblower who initiated the
process that exposed several top
pairs cheating collaboratively (who
have been banned). He was also the
hero of the Spingold Trophy at the
American Contract Bridge League
summer nationals in Toronto.
Part of a four-person team (most
teams field six players, allowing
two to rest), his team Diamond had
done very well to reach the final
and were slightly ahead of the
powerful Lavazza team at half time.
Brogeland had a nightmare third
set (of four) and his team were now
heavily in arrears.
Never write Brogeland off. Like
a yappy dog, he doesn’t give up, he
doesn’t let go. Nor does his mildmannered assassin of a partner,
Espen Lindqvist.
The last set progressed and the
margin between the two teams got
closer. And closer. Then this deal
arrived. West cashed the ace of
spades v 4♥ doubled and switched
at trick two to a small club, declarer
beating East’s jack with the king.
At trick three, declarer led a
heart to the king. East won the ace
and returned his second club.
Winning the ace, declarer crossed
to the queen of hearts and called
for a low diamond.
East was forked (you may wish
to mispronounce that slightly). If
he rose with the ace, declarer
would have two discards for his
two club losers (the kings of spades
and diamonds). When East played
low, declarer won the queen,
crossed to a third heart, cashed the
4/5
+ 14
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Carl Portman is convinced that
chess can play an important role
in prisoner rehabilitation and has
written a book about it. His arguments have convinced no less a
personality than England’s most
famous chess grandmaster, Nigel
Short, who has penned an elegant
introduction. The most illustrious
chess player to have been incarcerated is Bobby Fischer, who
twice found himself behind bars.
15 ... N7c6
This leaves the black forces
somewhat exposed in the centre.
Better was 15 ... N5c6 with the
option to follow up with ... e5.
16 Nxe5
Fischer misses 16 Ng5 (planning f4), which looks very strong.
An important point is that 16 ... h6
is crushed by 17 Bh5+ g6 18 Bxg6+
Nxg6 19 Nxe6, winning at once.
16 ... Nxe5 17 f4
This doesn’t help White much
as the knight is vulnerable on e5.
17 Qd4 was better and after 17 ...
0-0-0 18 a5 b5 19 Bh5, White has
tremendous pressure.
17 ... Nc6 18 Bg4 0-0-0 19 Bxe6
Bxe6 20 Rxe6
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Chess in prisons
Cell Blocks No 3005
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
9
x
-
4
Quiz 1 The raven, then the dove 2 Citizen Khan
3 Ginger Rogers 4 Lithuania 5 Neptune
6 Excommunication (by anathema) 7 Quake 8 Bryan
Adams 9 John Dryden 10 Vagabond. The title means
“without roof nor law”, a play on the French idiom
Sans foi ni loi (“with neither faith nor law”) 11 Janusz
Korczak 12 Dog 13 Brecon Beacons National Park
14 The 4x100m medley relay in swimming — it
remains the only time the USA has not won the
event 15 Craven Cottage — home of Fulham FC
M
O
O
Y
B
O
A
B
S
R
F
I
A
N
R
E
Z
L
O
N
Y
M
Word watch
Addy (c) An email address
Dehisce (a) Of fruits, to
burst open, releasing seeds
Adeem (b) To cancel or
withdraw (a legal
agreement)
Brain Trainer
Easy 19; Medium 388;
Harder 4,868
Chess After 1 Rxe5! c3
(1 ... Kxe5 2 a6 makes no
difference) 2 Nb3 Kxe5
3 a6 demonstrates that
knights are terrible at
dealing with advanced
rook’s pawns. The a-pawn
will inevitably promote
07.09.17
MindGames
Sudoku
Mild No 9298
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
Addy
a A dig-out
b Poisonous
c An address
9
Fiendish No 9299
6
4
3
7
6
4
9 7 5
7 6
8 1
3 9
3 8
6 4
2 5
4
2
Adeem
a A sabre
b To cancel
c A declaration
Answers on page 15
6
1
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
6
5
PUZZLER MEDIA
7 8 9
Dehisce
a To burst open
b Unreliable
c To castrate
Super fiendish No 9300
9
4
6 1 7
2
8
1
7 2
7 9 2
3
4
1 7
5
9
5 2
1
4
9 8
6 3
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
The Times Daily Quiz
by Olav Bjortomt The Times Quiz Book
GETTY IMAGES
12 The sapsali is a
shaggy Korean breed
of what?
1 Noah sent which
two birds to determine
whether the land had
dried sufficiently after
the flood?
2 In a BBC sitcom that
premiered in 2012,
which title character is
played by Adil Ray?
13 The Black
Mountains are the
easternmost of the
four ranges of hill
that form which
Welsh national park?
15
3 Which American
actress and dancer was
born Virginia Katherine
McMath in 1911?
6 The phrase “bell,
book and candle” refers
to a Roman Catholic
method of what?
4 The Seimas is the
unicameral parliament
of which Baltic state?
7 Trent Reznor
voiced Ranger, the
protagonist of which
1996 video game?
10 Which 1985 Agnès
Varda film, starring
Sandrine Bonnaire,
has the French title
Sans toit ni loi?
8 Please Forgive Me
was a 1993 hit single
for which Canadian
rock musician?
11 Which Polish
pedagogue wrote the
c 1922 children’s novel
King Matt the First?
5 Johann Gottfried
Galle confirmed the
existence of which
planet on the night of
September 23-24, 1846?
9 Who was made
England’s first poet
laureate in 1668?
14 Australia’s Quietly
Confident Quartet
won which men’s
event at the 1980
Summer Olympics
in Moscow?
The Times Quiz Book by
Olav Bjortomt is out now.
To order your copy visit
harpercollins.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
Yesterday’s
L
C
P
F I DD L E
Quick
A
E
R E V E L L E R
Cryptic
A
L
A
E ND I V E
E
UNR E A SON O
solution
R M C
R
No 912
A S
T
CR
I
P
S P
E
F R
15 Which London
football stadium is
pictured?
Answers on page 15
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
The Times Quick Cryptic No 913
1
2
3
4
7
6
10
11
12
15
21
by Izetti
8
9
18
5
16
13
17
19
20
T I
A T H E N I A N
A
W
A
G
A C K PO T
R E E D
R
H
R
B
E L EGA NC E
O
T
R
R I N T
R
T URNOV E R
Y
R W
I D A Y
14
Across
7 There’s little right in devil
becoming a chum (6)
8 A bishop ecstatic, distracted
(6)
9 Celebrity sending nasty people
back (4)
10 Been playing with aunt yet to
lose (8)
11 Pessimist, endlessly severe
after reflective mood (8)
13 Many items at the auction (4)
15 Son and relations hide (4)
16 Fairy at front of hut wasted
away (8)
18 Treat she arranged in places of
entertainment (8)
20 Male to consume something
from the butcher (4)
21 Church has a building for
renting, a holiday home? (6)
22 Performer among celebrities in
Germany (6)
22
Down
1 Worry when given job to
produce ornamental design (8)
2
3
4
5
6
12
14
16
17
19
Tried somehow to get chaps to
agree in a harmful way (13)
Short notice, fair and correct
(6)
Composer who gives others a
‘distressing’ experience? (6)
This bent male’s running the
organisation (13)
Individual catching cold in the
past (4)
Woman in garden the day
before Christmas? (3)
Youngster eats greens
surprisingly — but no seconds
whatever! (8)
Talk about one criminal at sea
(6)
Withstand naughty sister (6)
Landscape feature of two
hectares (2-2)
5
2
5 9
3
7
5
6
2
1
9
4
4
1
4 3 7
4
5
8
6
2 9 7
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