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The Times Times 2 31 August 2017

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August 31 | 2017
Extraordinary. Unhappy. Damaged
Rosa Monckton: My friend Diana
Plus Rose Tremain on the nation’s ‘weep-fest’
Princess Diana
with Rosa
Monckton and her
daughter Domenica
2
1GT
Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
times2
‘The day after we first met, she
rang. Our friendship was strong
because she was so needy’
In an exclusive interview, Diana’s friend Rosa Monckton tells Valentine Low how she became
the princess’s confidante and shared a final holiday with her in Greece, days before her death
O
ne day between the
death of Diana,
Princess of Wales in
Paris in the early
hours of August 31,
1997 and her funeral
the next Saturday,
Rosa Monckton
went to pay her last respects at
St James’s Palace.
Monckton was not only one of her
closest friends, but also one of the last
to see Diana alive. Less than two
weeks before the fatal car crash they
had enjoyed a holiday together, sailing
around Greece in a small boat as they
delighted in dodging the paparazzi. It
was a short, but blissful respite in a
tumultuous year when Diana broke up
with one lover — Hasnat Khan — and
took up with another — Dodi Fayed
— as she set about trying to rebuild
her life after her divorce.
“I just remember kneeling in front of
her coffin in the Chapel Royal and
thinking, ‘Well, now, finally you are at
rest.’ Her life was such a turmoil, and
her death was awful and sad and
dreadful, but I felt, ‘She is at peace.’ ”
As she knelt there Monckton was
accompanied by Lúcia Flecha de Lima,
the wife of the Brazilian ambassador to
London, who had become a close
friend of Diana’s ever since she and
her husband had gone on an official
visit to Brazil with Charles and Diana.
It was Flecha de Lima who had
introduced Monckton to Diana
and the three of them had been a
close-knit unit. They lunched together,
went on holiday together and even
had a gold brooch made to symbolise
their friendship — a cloak and dagger,
to represent the fun that they had
escaping the attentions of the
photographers who dogged Diana’s
every step. It had been commissioned
by Monckton, who had brought the
New York jewellers Tiffany’s to
London and later became the chief
executive of Asprey & Garrard.
Flecha de Lima died of cancer in
April, aged 76, so Monckton, 63, is the
only one of them left alive. “I went to
her memorial service,” she said, as she
spoke about their friendship to The
Times in an exclusive interview to
mark the 20th anniversary of Diana’s
death. “We were very much the three
of us. It was a really strange thing,
because I was the only one left
standing. It really brought back all the
fun we had. We all had brooches, and I
often wonder if the boys had found
[Diana’s] brooch. We all three had
them, because we called ourselves the
‘Three Musketeers’. We were always
The two of us swimming in Bali
scurrying around hiding from people.
It was a club, membership of three.
“I wore mine [at the service] and I
thought, ‘Well, I am the only one now
who knows what this means.’ ”
It was not always fun. There was the
darkness too, the all-consuming
unhappiness that played such a
She was straight
into ‘I’m so
unhappy, I don’t
know what to do’
prominent role in Diana’s life for so
long. However, if it wasn’t for that
unhappiness, Monckton would never
have become Diana’s friend.
They met in 1991, following the visit
to Brazil on which Flecha de Lima had
accompanied the royal couple.
“Lúcia rang me and said, ‘I don’t
know if you know the Princess of
Wales, but I am not English and she
struck me as incredibly unhappy. She
needs help. I am not certain I am the
one . . . I talked to her about you and
she would like to meet you.’”
To this day Monckton is not sure
what it was about her that made her a
suitable person to help Diana — who,
after all, had many friends — but she
agreed to meet her. The results were
astonishing. From the moment the
princess met this almost total stranger,
she emptied her heart out to her.
“The reason our friendship was so
strong was because she was so needy
at that time. It was straight into, ‘I’m
so unhappy, I don’t know what to do.’
“We met in the [Brazilian] residence
the first time, then we went to lunch
at Harry’s Bar. Then literally she
rang me the next day and said, ‘Can
I come round? I want to continue
the conversation.’ ”
The letters that Diana wrote to
Monckton at that time are testament
to the importance of the role she
played in her life. “You have listened
to the anguish and heard the tears,”
she wrote in one, “but have led me
through the minefield to safety
beyond. The words ‘thank you’
are totally inadequate to tell you
just how much your advice and
friendship have meant.”
Like everyone else who knew her,
Monckton found that being Diana’s
friend was not a straightforward
business. When her opinions were
unwelcome — advising against the
holiday with the Fayeds, rebuking her
over her sullen behaviour on a tour of
Korea, questioning the wisdom of the
Panorama interview — it could lead to
a period of being frozen out. And, of
Our friendship brooch course, she was just one of many
people to whom Diana lied point
blank about her involvement in the
Andrew Morton book.
None of that, said Monckton, should
obscure the fact that “she was an
incredible friend to me”.
Their final holiday together in
August 1997, sailing around Greece on
a friend’s boat — a decidedly modest
vessel with just three cabins,
nicknamed “the cottage” by Diana —
was a happy time. “We really, really
laughed,” said Monckton. Much of
their time was spent eluding the
paparazzi who were trying to find
them. “It was a running joke with the
captain. We would go up into his tiny
little cockpit and he would say, ‘They
are there, those helicopters are there
— right, so we are going to go back to
Hydra, where we were before, because
there is nobody there at the moment.’
“We went into one little bay and
there was a stonking great Onassisstyle boat. We came up, like a little
tender, and a guy on the deck
recognised her, and shouted across,
‘We’re not going to tell anybody!
Enjoy your holiday!’ He said, ‘You
know the whole of Greece is looking
for you?’ She said ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘Well,
they will never find you on that!’ ”
Above all, as much as Monckton
gave Diana help and support, Diana
was incredibly supportive in turn.
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
3
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times2
COVER; DAN STEVENS/ALPHA; BELOW: COPYRIGHT ROSA MONCKTON, ALAN DAVIDSON
One week before her death
A holiday in Bali together
Godmother to my daughter Domenica
We were
always
scurrying
around,
hiding from
people
In an extraordinary episode that
remained secret for many years,
when Monckton and her husband
Dominic Lawson’s daughter Natalia
was stillborn, Diana arranged for
them to bury her in a walled garden
at Kensington Palace.
When her younger daughter
Domenica — sister to Savannah
— was born with Down’s syndrome,
Diana immediately offered to be
her godmother.
“She came into hospital. She was the
first of my friends to come round. She
just picked her up and said, ‘I’m taking
this one on board. You will need all
the help you can get.’ She was such
a champion for her.
“She was a really hands-on
godmother. Extraordinarily. I was very
blessed with her support, because it
was not easy at the beginning.”
Domenica is now 22, and
Monckton’s present project is Team
Domenica, a charity helping adults
with learning difficulties to find paid
employment. It is based in Brighton,
but there are plans to expand next
year. Monckton has no doubt that
had she lived, Diana would have been
heavily involved in her goddaughter’s
life. “She would have been patron of
Team Domenica, she would have been
down here, because she was really
hands-on.”
Diana’s practical side — an aspect of
her character that is often overlooked
— emerged late in Monckton’s
pregnancy with Savannah. “I was
running Tiffany’s, I was absolutely flat
out. About a month before Savannah
was due she rang me up and said, ‘I’m
coming.’ I said, ‘What do you mean,
you’re coming?’ She said, ‘I am
coming. I know you have done no
shopping. You have got a baby coming.
ing.
It is time you realised this. I am
coming now, and we are going to
go shopping.’
“She arrived and we went to
Mothercare just off Knightsbridge.
Out came her credit card —
which she was very pleased to
have, it was quite new [for her] to
have a credit card — and we did an
enormous shop. We took it all back
to our flat and she said, ‘Right, we
haven’t got a pram, we haven’t got a
Moses basket, because you can havee
mine.’ So then delivered from
Kensington Palace was an incrediblyy
smart Silver Cross pram, which was
William’s and Harry’s, and this Moses
basket. I still have the Moses basket up
in the attic.”
The pram was used on many
occasions to push Savannah across
Kensington Gardens on their way to
have lunch at Kensington Palace.
The question that arises so often
with Diana is, could she have found
happiness? Monckton was hesitant.
Top left: with the crew
of the yacht Della
Grazia. Above left: at
Domenica’s christening
in 1995. Above right:
with Rosa Monckton
Two of the ‘three
musketeers’
Di
Diana
with
i h Lúcia
Lú i
Flecha de Lima
“She was so complicated,” she said. “I
just will never know. One of the many
parts of the tragedy was that she was
36, she was just about establishing
herself as the most extraordinary
global humanitarian. And she
certainly did find happiness in helping
other people. It fed something in her,
some need in her translated into her
ability to help other people. I think
she could
cou have been content.”
Whatever happened, Monckton
Wh
certain that Diana would not
is ce
have
hav found happiness with
Fayed.
Fay “She wasn’t in love with
him.
him She was infatuated, I don’t
think
thi it would have lasted. We
must
mu remember that they had
only
only met earlier that summer.”
On their Greek holiday
Monckton
suggested that Diana —
Monck
who
had started her affair
who by then
t
with
with Fayed
Faye — should go back to Khan,
the Pakistani-born
heart surgeon that
Pakist
Diana had a two-year relationship
with
i h and
d nicknamed “Mr Wonderful”.
She said: “I said to her, ‘Why not go
back to Hasnat?’ She said, ‘I can’t now.
I’ve hurt his pride by doing this.’ It was
such a rebound.
“She was so needy. She thought she
wanted somebody who was there the
whole time, which Hasnat with his
profession was certainly not able to be.
Dodi certainly had more time for her,
and it was beginning to drive her
bonkers. He was always ringing, giving
her presents. She said, ‘It’s getting too
much, Rosa. I don’t want this.’ ”
In the end it was that unhappiness,
and her attempts to escape it — from
her mother leaving home when she
was a child, to the catastrophe of her
marriage — that goes part of the way
to explaining why the world is still
fascinated with Diana.
“She was everything to everybody,”
said Monckton. “She broke down the
walls. She busted the myth of being a
fairytale princess. Such a thing doesn’t
exist. It doesn’t exist in people’s lives
either. People responded because
there was somebody in an unhappy
relationship, who was trying to deal
with it, trying to get out of it, trying to
find her way, trying to be something
different — all the struggles that
everybody has in their lives. They just
completely identified with her.
“She was an incredibly vulnerable
woman. I think that given the life she
had, when you think what she had to
overcome, and all of this in the public
eye, I think she was a truly
extraordinary woman. Very damaged,
very flawed as we all are, but
underneath it all this incredible
resilience. I just think it was
extraordinary what she managed to
achieve, given her profound
unhappiness and insecurity.”
teamdomenica.com
4
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Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
times2
We all
gathered
for a
massive
collective
weep-fest
The novelist Rose Tremain
on how we fell for Diana —
and what it says about us
I
t began happening on September
1, 1997, the day after the death of
Princess Diana. At first, there
was just a small scattering of
what appeared to be elaborately
bagged-up refuse at the gates of
Buckingham Palace. Then the
bags started to proliferate. They
spread so fast they soon redefined the
contours of the pavement. Strangers
kept arriving and putting down more
and more of them. The strangers
stood and gazed at the widening wash
of the lumpy tide, in all its garish
wonder: cheap garage loot, soaked
paper, cellophane with its metallic
shine, gaudy twine, pools of candle
wax. You might have thought the
strangers would hurry away after
they’d deposited their own
contributions, that the horrible sight
of it all would make them gag and
walk on. But no. They stood and wept
instead. Because the altered landscape
was strangely sweet to them. This was
their fly-tip of love.
One simple thing, large notices
on the palace railings reminding
mourners to separate all gifts from
their wrappings and take the paper
and plastic home, would have
transformed the troubling scene. Then
what would have emerged — what
those strangers thought they were
contributing to — was a carpet of
flowers. Instead, we got rubbish. No
matter how you looked at it or
photographed it, whether from close
up or from the circling helicopters
above, it resembled a lake of gleaming
garbage, as though London’s
hardworking binmen had taken one
look and thought, no, sorry mate, this
pile’s too massive even for us, and
driven away.
Poor Diana. If she’d been able to
come along, as the Queen eventually
did, accompanied by her confused
and sorrowing family and gaze briefly
on the silting-up of the exits and
entrances to the palace, she would
surely have lowered her head, cast her
Diana in Australia, in
1996. Above right and
right: in 1980, before
her marriage
Diana at
19 was
a girl
looking
for love
always-pleading eyes
to that same patch of
sky that had allowed
the sun to shine on
her wedding day, and
said: “Well, actually, I
was no good at triage,
either. I couldn’t separate
ate
things out properly. I could
ould
never see what part of a thing I
had to hold on to and what I had to let
go. That’s the reason I’m dead.”
Diana, at 19, a nursery assistant with
zero O levels, once photographed in a
flimsy skirt that revealed the contours
of a pair of legs so slim and shapely
that they would never be forgotten,
was a girl looking for love. She knew
that everybody wanted it, of course,
but she wanted it more than most. Yet
what was love exactly? She hadn’t got
a clue. In what shapes and guises
might it appear? Abandoned by her
mother when she was six years old,
never cherished by her father as her
brother was cherished, Lady Diana
Spencer must have wondered if she
would be able to recognise love — if
it ever arrived — she’d had so little
experience of it.
Then something extraordinary
happened. The Prince of Wales began
courting her. Her! Little unwanted
Diana, who’d been rubbish at school,
who was good at just one thing —
dancing — whose head was crammed
with the only stuff it knew: girlie jokes
and country-house chatter. How
enthralling to become, in the space
of a few days, an object of extreme
fascination, jostled and papped outside
her own front door. How absolutely
spiffing! Or was it? Surely it was
(despite the bloody paps sticking their
camera lenses into her face),
because we
w were talking
about tthe heir to the
throne of England. But,
thron
oh gosh,
what did it
g
really
rea mean and where
would
it end? No
wo
doubt
even she,
do
who
wh had never been
helped
to understand
hel
Shakespeare,
must have
Sha
wondered
for a while
wond
if
if this was real or some
de
deluding
de
aand quickly passing
midsummer
night’s dream.
mid
mi
dsummer nig
But when Charles
Charl ordered two
dozen red roses to be delivered to her
flat, what did Diana do? It seems she
believed in the flowers. No doubt she
removed their wrappings and threw
the paper into the correct bin and put
the roses into a nice vase from Peter
Jones. And then what? I think she
buried her face in the crimson petals,
seeing there for the first time the true
colour of a man’s desire. And she
named it love.
Love, in Diana’s retro playbook, led
to marriage. Perhaps she could already
see the horse and carriage. And in due
time, along it came and she got into it,
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
5
1GT
REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; GETTY IMAGES
times2
Where
was it all
heading?
Towards
death, of
course
wearing her vast dress. What she,
poor flower, didn’t foresee was that
becoming Princess of Wales would
bind her in the confining wrappings of
royal protocol to such a suffocating
degree that she would feel confused
and lonely — no longer the person she
thought she was. She’d vowed to do
everything that was asked of her, but
she had never understood what that
asking was going to entail. And when
she looked to the prince for succour,
she discovered to her deep dismay
that he himself was as helpless and
confined as she was. He’d thought
he was marrying a fun girl, an old
childhood acquaintance, a good sport.
What he got was a clinging, damaged
spirit full of dreams and yearnings that
he couldn’t satisfy.
But what did we, the British public,
get? We got Beauty and we began to
worship her. Diana’s peachy skin,
those pleading blue eyes, her obedient
hair, her clothes, her legs, every inch
of her started to obsess us to a peculiar
degree. Why? Because what we saw
was a girl blossoming into physical
perfection, assuming the lineaments
of a fairytale princess where, before
in the Windsor family, none had ever
come along. Princess Anne had once
been an appealing child with touching
blond curls, but somehow, in the cruel
twist of time, she’d morphed into a
plain woman with a flyaway beehive.
There had been Margaret, of course,
dubbed a beauty with her dark,
flirtatious eyes, yet the reality of her,
with her slightly dumpy body, had
never matched the airbrushed princess
of the early Snowdon photographs.
But now, after years of waiting, we
had her: Diana, the Perfect One, the
Harrods top-of-the-range doll.
We took pride in her. She travelled
the world as an ambassador for UK
chic. But not only this. She had a
gentle voice, a tender glance and her
actions seemed to affirm an innate
goodness of the kind we’d become
sadly unused to perceiving in British
society. She treated all children — not
merely her sons — with unconcealed
affection. She cared about the poor
and afflicted of the world. She
fearlessly pressed her healing touch
into the hands of Aids victims. The
charities she chose to support were
those trying to help people in
desperate need. Despite her
privileged upbringing, she
identified with the maimed and
the lost. She appeared, in all
respects, to be different from
everybody in the royal firm to
which she now belonged.
We had 16 years in which to
mythologise Diana. Of course
she worked on her own myth,
by alerting the press to photo
ops that would flatter her in all
respects, not least by showing her
engaged in her charity work. She knew
w
that journalists were not immune to
the “Diana effect” and that they would
probably go along with what she
wanted. That the one man in the
world who seemed not to want to put
his arms around her was her husband
caused widespread outrage. Now
she was not only Beauty, she was a
heartbroken Beauty and we were
inclined to love her all the more.
But wait a minute. Who and what,
exactly, were we still loving? Because
flaws in her character had started to
show. We often saw her looking
sulky and tearful. Her weight kept
dropping. We began to hear rumours
of wild tantrums and suicidal flights
down staircases. This divine princess,
it seemed, was indeed someone who
couldn’t “separate things out properly”.
Had she somehow joined the ranks of
the maimed and the lost?
A less needy Beauty might have
been able to accept the gap between
The flowers left outside
Kensington Palace.
Above right: Diana
with her sons in 1995
the vision of love once glimpsed in
the gift of roses and the reality of
marriage to a hardworking Prince of
Wales, distracted by an old, still
obstinately burning flame. She might
have chosen to weigh up her future
as Queen of England against the
shortcomings of an emotionally
inarticulate man and found the
courage to carve her own role within
the marriage, without making a fuss.
She surely knew that an assured
and glittering global life waited for
her, if only she had been able to shed
her dreams of the perfect, loving
marriage and settle for something less.
The wife of King Edward VII, Queen
Alexandra, had managed to achieve
this gracefully, turning calmly away
from all her husband’s excesses and
carrying on with her duties as
consort and mother. But Diana
couldn’t do it. Inside this exquisitely
packaged princess lurked dysphoria
aand rage. She tried to purge it by
crying, by vomiting, by harming
herself, by
clinging to
hapless
bodyguards
b
and other
The famous
photo of Diana
the nursery
assistant, taken
in 1980
lovers. But it still boiled and churned.
And its manifestations were deeply
displeasing to the Queen, who had
only come to the throne because her
“Uncle David” had botched his life and
destiny so wilfully and who craved
order and calm in her family.
Loose-cannon Diana couldn’t be
allowed to keep sabotaging the royal
image. Convention and pragmatism
in “the firm” prevailed and Beauty
was cast out.
So where, now, was it all heading?
Towards death, of course. To a terrible
yet fitting conflagration in the most
romantic place on the planet, the
City of Light. To a joining with the
immortals of our violent times. At
her end, aged 36, Princess Diana
was Marilyn Monroe (as Elton John
recognised in his song, Candle in the
Wind, rewritten for the funeral in
Westminster Abbey), destroyed by
love and indifference. She was also
Jack Kennedy, Martin Luther King,
James Dean, Judy Garland, Sylvia
Plath and John Lennon — all the
beautiful and exceptional ones, cut
down too soon. But above all, she was
Shakespeare’s Cordelia, the stubborn
youngest daughter of King Lear, who
couldn’t compromise, couldn’t fall
into line, couldn’t bring about
the separation between outward
behaviour and inner feelings that was
being asked of her and so paid the
ultimate price.
And what of us? We were in mortal
shock. Every one of us can probably
remember where we were when we
heard the news of Diana’s violent end
in a Paris underpass, just as those of
us old enough to have lived through
Kennedy’s assassination in 1963 can
recall in graphic detail the terrible
moment of first knowing.
For Kennedy we in Britain could
only sit gawping at our televisions in
quiet disbelief. But for Diana there was
a place we could gather for a massive
collective weep-fest. So we came to
London. We brought our flowers and
saw them morph into garbage. Then
we waited in countless numbers to
watch Diana’s coffin pass. We noticed
that one of the horses drawing the
hearse had a broken snaffle and kept
tossing its head, seemingly in pain.
So we cried for that too — for the
suffering horse. And we cried for the
two young princes, walking with
heads bowed, as though on their way
to the Tower. But, most of all, we cried
for the waste.
6
1GT
Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
times2
The mystery
Are you overweight?
Our Contradictory
Diet Expert can help
Deborah Ross
Y
ou do not need
to eat five
portions of fruit
and vegetables
a day, and you
do not need to
eat ten, as was
advised earlier
in the year. Three will do, we
were told yesterday. You do not
need to be scared of fats. It’s carbs
that are killing you, we were also
told yesterday.
Meanwhile, there was no
pronouncement on salt, which
may be a friend, may be a foe, or
may even be the kind of frenemy
that is nice to your face, but
doesn’t have your best interests at
heart really. (I hate salt like that;
that’s the worst kind of salt.)
The fruit and veg and carbs
guidance comes from the
Population Health Research
Institute at McMaster University
in Ontario, which studied 135,000
people across five continents for a
decade, and has called for new
global diet guidelines that, among
other things, will “warn against
white bread and rice”.
It’s so hard to know where
the truth lies in these matters,
which is why we have introduced
our new advice column, Ask
A Contradictory Diet Expert.
Hopefully this will prove
a one-stop shop for instant
contradictory diet advice,
thereby saving you from reading
something one day that will
only be contradicted at some
future date. For example, our
expert would have advised
giving up coffee, while also
drinking four cups a day, all in
the one hit, which has to be
ideal. Why give up coffee one
month and start again the next
month when you can do both,
right here, right now, today?
May’s war
on Kim
It is common to
mistake song lyrics,
as has been well
documented down the
years. I always thought
that the Beatles’ She’s
Got a Ticket to Ride
was She’s Got a Ticket
to Ryde, the actual
Ryde, on the Isle of
Wight, where I spent
many happy summers
making coloured sand
souvenirs — does this
still happen? — so
maybe the Beatles
Our Contradictory Diet Expert
is, for your information, based
at the National Institute of
Contradictory Diet Advice —
“contradicting the shit out of
stuff since 1902, and also 1874”
— which has produced very
many interesting pamphlets
down the years, including:
White Bread And Rice: They
Know Where You Live And May
Come Knocking; Kale: 789,694
Recipes To Try Before We Say
It Gives You Cancer; and Salt:
How To Tell If It’s Bitching
Behind Your Back.
You may write to our
Contradictory Diet Expert at
the National Institute of
Contradictory Dietary Advice,
although please do not expect
an immediate reply because
our expert may be otherwise
preoccupied with drinking
while not drinking coffee, “which
is not as easy as it sounds, but
I am determined to avoid an
early grave”.
wanted to go there for
that? Truly, I got such
a shock when I first
saw it written down.
What about
misunderstood
headlines? Is that a
thing too? I can
remember, for
example, reading
“Sharon suffers stroke”
and immediately
thinking: “Gosh, who’d
have thought that Ozzy
would outlive her . . . ”
when it turned out we
were talking about
Ariel Sharon, the
former prime minister
of Israel.
On another occasion
an article on the TV
Dear Contradictory Diet Expert,
The problem with the Canadian
study, as with most of these studies,
is that it is epidemiological and
cannot prove causation. For
instance, we are being told those
who ate the most carbohydrates
were 28 per cent more likely to die
early, although who is to say those
who ate the most carbohydrates
didn’t also take less exercise, smoke
more, eat more junk and so on?
First, can I just say that I bet you
are fun at parties. Second, you
are exactly right, and this is
exactly the sort of research that
leads to the “food information
overload” that causes people to
stop listening and throw in the
towel, which is a pity, as throwing
in the towel can lead to type 2
diabetes, except that it doesn’t.
(Not just contradicting the stuff
out of shit since 1902, and also
1874, we also do it fast.)
Dear Contradictory Diet Expert,
Coconut oil. What’s the situation
there? It was a good fat and now
it’s a bad fat?
Coconut oil, it has lately been
discovered, is a good fat and a bad
fat, which we, of course, could
have told you from day one.
(Actually, we did have it as a good
fat for a whole morning, but only
because I had to leave the office
to attend to a personal matter, so
could not announce that it was
also a bad fat until the afternoon.)
Dear Contradictory Diet Expert
Everything in moderation, no?
Well, good luck with getting a full
page of coverage in a newspaper
with that. And we are still, truth
be told, working out how to
contradict it . . .
presenter Kirstie
Allsopp was headed by
a quote that I read as:
“I was born horny!”
How fascinating, I
thought, and how
interesting that she
should choose to
disclose it. What is
it like, to be born
horny? What are the
symptoms? Did she try
to shag her teddy? Her
cot bumpers? Did they
have to tie her down to
her high chair when
they had visitors or else
she would be straight
on it, humping their
legs? However, my
curiosity, which was
great — perhaps
her lifelong love for
cushions began with
humping those too? —
was never satisfied,
because what the quote
actually said was: “I
was born homey!”
I was reminded of
all this because just
yesterday it happened
again, when I read:
“May refuses to rule
out cyber-attack
against Kim”, which
made me wonder what
a Kardashian had done
to deserve it. They’re
annoying, those girls,
but, you know . . .
And so, I wonder:
does this ever happen
to you?
Three men have
died in the Rockies
while hunting for a
millionaire’s gold.
Does it exist, asks
Barbara McMahon
S
even years ago an
eccentric American
millionaire called Forrest
Fenn hid a chest in the
mountains north of Santa
Fe. He self-published a
memoir called The Thrill
of the Chase containing
a cryptic poem with clues as to its
whereabouts. Since then, tens of
thousands of people have tried to find
his haul of gold and jewels, said to be
worth more than a million pounds.
Three men have died in the pursuit,
but the cache has yet to be found.
The British film-maker Tomas
Leach was intrigued by the idea of a
modern-day treasure hunt, but what
fascinated him most were the motives
of the people involved in this strange
modern fable. Why are people so
infatuated with the quest that some of
them abandon their jobs, alienate their
families and risk their lives? What are
the motives of Fenn, the 87-year-old
former antiquities dealer, who seems
to enjoy stringing people along? And
is the whole thing really a hoax?
Leach looks for answers in his new
documentary, The Lure, set against
awe-inspiring vistas of the desert and
the Rocky Mountains, which follows
searchers on their dangerous yet
magical expeditions. “I couldn’t see
clear solutions to any of it and that’s
what made the story so intriguing,” he
says. He heard about the hidden bounty
in 2013 and flew to New Mexico the
next year to interview Fenn and meet
some of the treasure hunters. He made
the trip five times. “I was blown away
by how mesmerising the landscape is,
and there’s something about the people
in the southwest that is still bound by
the frontier spirit,” he says. “I don’t
think there’s another place on earth
where a person could say, ‘I’ve hidden
gold and jewels,’ and others would say,
‘Great!’ and go out looking for it.”
He thought that the octogenarian
Fenn would make an intriguing subject
in the documentary. He was correct.
A swashbuckling fighter pilot during
the Vietnam War, Fenn started the art
gallery and dealership that would
make him wealthy on his return to
civvy street. However, his methods
attracted censure. He excavated
Native American pueblos and sold
artefacts for enormous sums, to the
outrage of many archaeologists. The
FBI raided his home in search of
illegally obtained relics, but failed to
turn up anything of significance.
Fenn first thought about hiding
treasure in the Eighties after being
diagnosed with cancer and given short
odds of survival. He put his plan into
action in 2010.
His 24-line poem contains nine
clues to the treasure’s whereabouts
The treasure chest is
buried somewhere in
the Rocky Mountains.
Below: Forrest Fenn
with his memoir
and includes the lines: “Begin it where
warm waters halt/ and take it in the
canyon down . . .”
Over the years Fenn has revealed
that the treasure is located north of
Santa Fe and has been placed in a
position higher than 5,000ft above sea
level. He says that he went to the area
by vehicle twice, carrying the bronze
chest to its hiding place and then
returning with a backpack full of gold
nuggets, jade, emeralds, rubies,
diamonds and sapphires. The chest is
not underwater, he says, nor is it near
the Rio Grande. It is not necessary to
move large rocks or climb up or down
a steep precipice to find it and it is not
under a man-made object. At least two
searchers have come within a few
hundred feet of the treasure, he claims,
and missed their chance of glory.
When interviewed, Fenn keeps his
cards close to his chest, says Leach.
“He’s got his own homespun sense of
logic and way of thinking, which is
why the poem is so hard to decipher.”
Fenn has become a cult figure and
people revere and dislike him equally.
“He’s the evil puppet master and the
benevolent grandfather,” says Leach.
In The Lure, viewers feel as if they
are on the treasure hunt alongside
those obsessed with finding the
bounty. Logistically it was hard work
for the film-maker and his crew, who
clambered up mountains, forded
canyons and crossed rivers. “It’s a very
tough landscape. It’s beautiful. It’s dry.
It’s high altitude. It added to the
mystery of the whole thing.” He used
drones and microlights for aerial views.
We meet Katya Luce, a middle-aged
make-up artist who sold her home in
Hawaii to move to Santa Fe and look
for the treasure. She became fixated
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
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times2
of Forrest Fenn’s treasure
The lowdown
Paris Jackson
GETTY IMAGES; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
So. Paris Jackson.
Very pretty, extraordinary eyes,
daughter of Michael, sister of Prince
and Blanket.
Thanks for that. So what has the
middle child of the King of Pop
been doing?
It’s more what she hasn’t been doing.
And that is?
Shaving her legs or armpits.
Ew. Why?
She is tackling body hair taboos.
Did we need someone to do that?
Apparently. She recently posted
a picture of herself on Instagram
captioned: “If you’re not competing
with your brother over who can grow
the longest leg hair WYED.”
Again, ew. Couldn’t she get
it lasered? Also, what does
WYED mean?
“What you even doing’’. Young people
today — or at least Paris Jackson
— think that not shaving challenges
anti-feminist norms imposed by
the patriarchy. Or something.
on the hunt after reading Fenn’s
memoir. “I absolutely thought I’d find
it in about a month,” she says. She has
done 90 searches over four years. “It
takes days to search one area and
there’s a lot of work beforehand. We
all use Google Earth,” she says.
Amanda Fry, a 29-year-old former
police officer from Texas, has done six
searches with a friend. “Our goal is to
find the treasure and appear on Ellen,”
she says, referring to the American
chat show hosted by Ellen DeGeneres.
David Rice, a 57-year-old rancher in
New Mexico, has been searching since
2011 and meets Fenn on screen. He
tries to pry more clues out of the old
man, who keeps a poker face. “For a
long time I thought the treasure was
in New Mexico, but now I’m thinking
it’s in West Yellowstone in Montana,”
he says. If he found it, he claims that
he would take pictures of it, then put
it back. “I did the corporate America
thing, and I was paid a great deal,
but I wasn’t happy so I gave it
up and now I live a simple life.
I have no need for treasure.
“My motivation is so that
I can brag about finding it.
I want to show Forrest Fenn
that I am at least as clever as
he is,” Rice continues. “The
problem is, I see a lot of people
taking this treasure hunt far too
seriously. They invest their entire
lives in it and they’re going out there
unprepared and taking risks.”
Three searchers have died while
looking for the chest. Paris Wallace, a
52-year-old church pastor, lost his life
trying to cross a river in full flow using
only a rope slung around a rock. Eric
Ashby, 31, was searching in June, but
flipped in an inflatable raft bought at
I want to
show Fenn
that I am
at least
as clever
as he is
Walmart while trying to go over
class-five rapids. A body has been
found, but not yet positively identified,
although his family believe it is him.
The remains of Randy Bilyeu, a
54-year-old father of two, were found
south of Santa Fe seven months after
he went missing last year. He had been
equipped with a GPS, a wetsuit and
waders, and left his dog and a sandwich
in his car — likely signs he thought he
would only be gone for a short time.
He and the other two men were
said by family members to have been
drawn to the lines in the poem that
read: “From there it’s no place for the
meek/ the end is drawing nigh/ there’ll
be no paddle up your creek.”
Fenn has been under pressure from
Yellowstone park rangers and one
of New Mexico’s police chiefs to call
a halt to the hunt. Linda Bilyeu, the
former wife of one of the victims, does
not believe that the chest exists.
“There’s no treasure — it’s not real.
He lost his life for a hoax,” she told
reporters after her ex-husband’s death.
Fenn says that the treasure hunt isn’t a
joke and refuses to call off the search.
Via email — he rarely gives face-toface interviews — Fenn gives his
reasons for concealing the treasure.
“We’re an overweight and sedentary
ssociety. I wanted to get kids out of
tthe game rooms and out into the
mountains to explore and smell the
sunshine. America was in a recession
at the time and I wanted to give hope
to so many who had lost their jobs.”
What does he think about the
people who are obsessed with the
mystery to the point of risking their
lives? He concedes that “many are
avid enough to take risks and hunt
where they should not”, but adds that
Yawn. Didn’t Julia Roberts do this
long before Paris was born?
Yes, at the premiere of Notting Hill
in 1999 she wore a fabulous red dress
and accessorised with copious
underarm hair.
“those people are not paying attention.
I have written many times that the
treasure is not hidden in a dangerous
place. I hid it when I was about 80
years old and I made two trips from
my car to the hiding place in one
afternoon. We have posted safety tips
on the internet and suggested ways to
be safe when hiking in the mountains.
“There have been losses and that is
terrible, but if someone drowns in the
swimming pool we should not drain
the pool. We should teach people to
swim. An average of nine people a
year die in the Grand Canyon, yet no
one wants to close the canyon.”
He has considered ending the
search, “but if I ended it what would I
say to the 350,000 people who have
looked for the treasure, including
some from the UK, and returned
home safely with wonderful memories
that will last for ever?”
Fenn says that he is the only person
who knows where the treasure is
located — even his wife, Peggy, is in
the dark. What will happen after he
dies? “The search will continue until
the treasure is found, or until some
rabid government destroys this planet,
whichever comes first,” he writes.
Leach points out that Fenn does not
make any money from the hunt
(profits from Fenn’s book go towards
cancer research). In spite of his years
of work on the subject, the director is
no closer to knowing the truth, but he
is at peace with the mystery. “I think
that it’s much more magical and
beautiful to believe that it’s out there.”
The Lure is released in UK cinemas
on September 8. For details of Q&A
screenings, go to the-lure.com
It’s the word “copious’’ that’s
upsetting me there . . .
Deal with it. Paris also recently
said: “I love hair and sweat and BO.
I think it’s great. Some people think
that it’s, like, super-disgusting,
especially on girls, but every human
body does it. It’s natural. Get over it.”
Noted. But the human body
does all sorts of
natural things
that aree better
off without
hout
an audience.
ence.
She’s 19.. Cut her
some slack.
ack.
She has
also
posted
a shot
of a
book
with an
underlined
ned
sentencee that
reads: “What
What
we call
education
on is
no moree than
domestication
cation
of the
human
being.”
Permission
sion
to groan?
n?
Granted.
d.
Hilary Rose
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Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
arts
Want to come up and
see my first editions?
It was once the preserve of old men in tweed, now footballers and pop stars
are book collectors. James Marriott looks into the revival of a lucrative trade
B
ernard Quaritch Ltd, a
high-end antiquarian
bookshop in Mayfair in
central London, is a
bibliophile’s fevered
daydream brought
to life. Volumes of
Renaissance poetry
avalanche across shelves and desks,
scraps of illuminated manuscripts lie
in drifts, a gigantic legal document
(signed by Napoleon) leans casually
against a wall.
The informal, old-fashioned
atmosphere is a welcome change
from pious conservation-orientated
academic libraries, the sort of places
where the books are kept in grey boxes
in a temperature-controlled vault.
Where’s the fun in that? When I first
went to Quaritch for a job interview
several years ago, a member of staff
casually chucked a Milton first edition
across the table at me. I was naively
horrified. After a couple of years
working at the firm I was leafing
through priceless manuscripts with
one hand and balancing a brimming
coffee cup in the other. This isn’t
to say the folks at Quaritch are
careless of their stock, just that
in the booktrade old books aren’t
sequestered relics, they’re part
of life.
I still feel a sense of anarchic
joy that Quaritch exists. It feels
like a chance survival from a
happier era. How on earth have
wonderful places such as this
lasted into the dreary modern
world? The answer, of course, is
money. If you know what you’re
doing, selling antiquarian books is
a profitable business.
The thrill
of old
books lies
in the
dizzying
connection
to the past
In July a first-edition
Harry Potter book sold
for a record £38,000
According to Pom Harrington, who
owns the firm Peter Harrington, the
trade is as lucrative now as it has
been in a long time. “Books are really
increasing in value for the first time
in ages,” he says. “The bleeding
obvious is doing well.”
Charles Darwin’s On the Origin
of Species has “gone nuts”, says
Harrington. In June last year a single
page (only 140 words long) from
Darwin’s handwritten manuscript
of the book sold at Sotheby’s
for $250,000.
Even mighty Darwin doesn’t hold
the crown among scientists, however.
In December a copy of Isaac Newton’s
masterpiece Principia Mathematica
sold at Christie’s for $3.7 million —
the record for a science book.
Harrington says that children’s
books are a notable success story.
Prices last peaked in 2001, but
“suddenly in the past 12 months”
they have started rising again.
Harry Potter is the obvious example.
In July a copy of the first edition of
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s
Stone sold for a record-breaking
£38,000. (The previous record,
£35,000, was set as recently as last
November.)
There are signs of this resurgence
in all sorts of unexpected places.
Last month The Times reported on the
burglary of the footballer John Terry’s
mansion. Terry is hardly most people’s
idea of a literary man, but among the
items stolen were a collection of
Harry Potter first editions worth
about £18,000. A couple of years ago
Rihanna was papped striding through
an airport clutching a large bag from
Peter Harrington.
It’s worth noting that the financial
fortunes of authors outside the A-list
are more precarious — and closely
tied to literary reputation. In 1929 The
Guardian asked its readers to speculate
which modern novelists “may be read
in 2029”. Top of the list was John
Galsworthy. The fact that I probably
have to remind you that he’s the bloke
who wrote the Forsyte Saga (you
know, there was a TV version of it
back in the Sixties) is a fair indicator
of what happened to his reputation.
Any Guardian readers hoarding his
books in the hope of cashing in
at a later date would have been
disappointed. They would have had
much better luck investing in James
Joyce’s Ulysses — the record for a copy
at auction stands at £275,000.
Other factors are at work too.
Harrington points out that film
adaptations of books exert a
gravitational pull on the market. In
advance of a film’s release, the book’s
“prices will go up in anticipation”, then
tend to “level out afterwards”.
Take the case of Philip Pullman’s
His Dark Materials series. Before the
film The Golden Compass came out,
copies of Northern Lights (the book it
was based on) could fetch “up to
£10,000”, says Harrington. When it
hit the cinemas in 2007, The Golden
Compass inspired a half-hearted
critical response — and managed to
stir up a religious controversy to boot.
It performed limply at the box office
and the sequels were cancelled.
Nowadays “you’d be lucky to get three
grand” for a copy, he explains.
The best way to make money is to
look for a story. The thrill of old books
lies in the dizzying sense of sudden
connection to the past that you get
holding one. Chris Stork of the
bookseller Maggs Bros in Bloomsbury,
central London, shows me a book that
is known to be one of only eight
volumes in the possession of Charles I
in the months before his execution. To
be able to hold one of the last objects
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
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BEN GURR FOR THE TIMES; SPLASH NEWS
arts
The Maggs Bros
bookshop in London.
Below left: Ed Maggs.
Below: Rihanna with
her books haul
ever touched by the doomed king is
thrilling indeed.
The real trick is to find the story
that nobody else has spotted. If you
can work out who that signature
belongs to or what those marginal
scribbles say, you can tie the book to
history — and increase its value. Is
it a secret gift from a poet to his
mistress? Was it taken by a pioneering
mariner on a famous voyage? Stork
emphasises that spotting this sort of
thing isn’t a matter of groping,
Sherlock-style, through his bookselling
“mind palace” in search of the relevant
scrap of esoteric information. All his
great discoveries, he says, have been
based on an indefinable feeling.
When you get the feeling, you head
to Google and start unearthing the
book’s history.
Most of the dealers I speak to are
optimistic about the trade’s future.
When I was in the business you would
hear pessimists grumbling about the
“lost generation”. Many of the biggest
collectors were in their seventies and
eighties. Who was going to take their
place? It seemed we had flunked the
chance to enthuse the generation now
in their forties and fifties. Young
people were our last hope. I often
wondered whether the decline
was terminal. Cultural
changes, I liked to moan,
had thrust literature far
from the mainstream.
Take the case of Robert
Pirie (1934-2015), who
was one of the leading
banker-lawyers of his
generation. He was also
among the most
important book
collectors of the 20th
century. When he was a
young man on US army
service in Germany,
Pirie received a
bookseller’s catalogue
offering a first edition of
John Donne’s Devotions.
He dropped everything,
leapt into a truck and
drove 15 miles to get his
hands on it. I can’t think
of any of my university
contemporaries in
banking or the law
who would be able
to give a detailed
account of who or
what exactly John
Donne was — let alone be prepared to
drive 15 miles to get their hands on
one of his minor theological works.
This speculation is pooh-poohed by
almost everyone I speak to. Anthony
Davis, a lawyer and collector of books
in English bindings, tells me he once
opened up a bookseller’s catalogue on
his computer screen at work. Within
moments, three of his colleagues had
crowded round him and started
discussing their collections.
Ed Maggs, the gregarious present
patriarch of the ancient Maggs
bookselling dynasty, says that he
thinks collecting is something that you
get into in middle age anyway. You
grow up, hit your midlife crisis and
frantically try to think of the last time
you were really happy. Invariably, you
cast your mind back to your heady
student days — what were you up
to then? Reading lots of English
literature, of course (well, among other
things). In a desperate attempt to
reclaim that lost joy, you start buying
rare editions of everyone you studied.
It’s a nice idea — and there’s
probably more to it than meets the
eye. When you are middle-aged you
probably (hopefully) have more
money and more space than you did
when you were in your twenties.
Although Davis caught the bug when
he was still at school, he says that it’s
only in the past 15 years that he has
seriously got stuck in as a collector.
If the collectors are probably getting
younger, the dealers definitely are.
When I arrived at Quaritch I was
amazed at how young everyone was.
Tom Lintern-Mole, who has just
turned 30, started dealing while he
was still at university. “I studied
history, so I had a lot of time on my
hands,” he explains. By his final year
he was regularly hopping
on the train to London,
trawling the auction
houses and buying as
many books as he could
carry back to Oxford.
When he graduated he
spent a while applying for
jobs in the City before it
dawned on him that he had
a viable business on his
hands already. He founded
his bookshop Antiquates in
Corfe Castle in Dorset and
never looked back.
Lintern-Mole is adamant
that anybody can get
involved. If you go to the
book fairs in London, he
says, “there are good books,
hundreds of years old from a fiver
up. If you can see an angle on a book
that no one else can you can turn that
£5 book into a £150 book.”
Well, what are you all waiting for?
What to buy
The Fool Feasting, 1480-1500
This spectacular illuminated
manuscript leaf, on sale at Maggs,
has a glorious illustrated (or, as an
expert would say, historiated) initial
“D” showing a put-upon fool trying
to eat his dinner while he’s being
pestered by children. It has the wow
factor and will set you back £9,750.
Poems by William Cowper, 1782
This edition of the works of Jane
Austen’s favourite poet was the
subject of a classic piece of literary
detective work. A specialist at
Quaritch worked out that it came
from the library of Austen’s brother
at Godmersham Park in Kent,
where the author often settled down
to read. Someone has underlined
passages that are quoted in her
novels. Perhaps not Austen herself,
but it’s hard to imagine that she
would not at least have turned the
pages of this copy. Yours for £8,000.
The Elephant’s Ball, 1807
What were children reading in Jane
Austen’s day? Books like this. This
charming illustrated volume (£950
from Quaritch) tells the story of a
party thrown by an elephant. His
guests include a buffalo, a sloth,
a lion and an elk — all smartly
dressed. How could a party with an
orangutan harpist and dancing
tigers fail to go with a swing?
Mother Goose or the Old Nursery
Rhymes, 1881, illustrated by
Kate Greenaway
Kate Greenaway was perhaps the
most famous Victorian children’s
illustrator. If you don’t know the
name, you’ll certainly recognise her
pictures of pouting, chubby children.
Tom Lintern-Mole will sell you this
copy — in its original dust jacket
— for £250.
Going Solo by Roald Dahl, 1986
Maggs is offering a signed copy
of Dahl’s autobiographical
account of his time
as a fighter pilot
in the Second
World War
for £600. It
was recently
announced that
Hugh Bonneville
will star in a
forthcoming
Dahl biopic —
just saying . . .
10
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Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
television & radio
Life in a metropolis? Apparently it’s quite busy
Carol
Midgley
TV review
World’s Busiest Cities
BBC Two
{{{((
Mountain:
Life at the Extreme
BBC Two
{{{{{
W
orld’s Busiest Cities
is a dull title for a
TV series. World’s
Fattest Cities or
World’s Most
Dangerous Cities, maybe. But if you
ask someone what a city was like and
they reply, “It was busy”, that’s not
particularly interesting information.
Most cities, by definition, are busy,
although some, I grant you, are busier
than others. London, for instance.
Ever tried to squeeze on to a Tube
Radio Choice
Joe Clay
Kenneth Williams:
Could Do Better
Radio 4 Extra, 2.15pm
All this week Radio 4
Extra has been celebrating
that most universal of
experiences — our
schooldays. Here’s a
delightful programme,
first broadcast on Radio 4
in 1987. Robert Booth
summons Kenneth Williams
to the headmaster’s office
to look back over his
school reports. In one
underwhelming entry from
1941 we learn that “Kenneth
has worked very successfully
on his allotment”. An image
of Williams getting his
hands dirty planting spuds
is rather hard to conjure up.
BBC Proms 2017
Radio 3, 7.30pm
There’s an all-Russian Prom
at the Royal Albert Hall
tonight, with the BBC
Symphony Orchestra
performing under the baton
of Semyon Bychkov. The
programme opens with
the baleful overture to
Taneyev’s opera Oresteia
and includes Kirill
Gerstein as the soloist for
Rachmaninov’s vivacious
Piano Concerto No 1.
It culminates with
Tchaikovsky’s Manfred
Symphony, a highly charged
portrayal of Lord Byron’s
dramatic poem.
at 8.30am at Stockwell without
tonguing someone’s armpit?
The BBC sent Anita Rani, Ade
Adepitan and Dan Snow to Hong
Kong to tell us, rather shoutily, just
how busy it is. I don’t know why it
took three of them, but in fairness
they did their jobs with great
enthusiasm — at one point I feared
they might run out of superlatives
— and rescued the show from its
underwhelming title. We were told
that this is where runaway capitalism
meets communism, that it was one of
the busiest ports in the world, that it
had the most expensive property and a
big racecourse, largely in the manner
of a slick travel promo. Many shots of
the traffic, alas, didn’t look that much
busier than the Elephant and Castle
junction when one lane is closed.
Easily the most striking point
about Hong Kong’s overcrowding
was the disgraceful living conditions
of the low-paid workers who keep it
functioning. Every Sunday the female
domestic workers get a rest day,
but since they have nowhere to go
they just sit together in the streets in
cheap tents and cardboard boxes
waiting to return.
Adepitan visited Alan, who worked
as a dish-washer and had lived for
three years in what was essentially a
large drawer. In a grimy corridor in a
grimy block, 11 people lived in what
were not unlike coffins, paying £180 a
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.33am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Adele Roberts
12.45pm Newsbeat 1.00 Scott Mills. Music
and chat 4.00 Dev 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Dev
7.00 Annie Mac 9.00 Radio 1’s Artist
Takeover with Nothing But Thieves 10.02
BBC Radio 1’s Residency — Deadmau5 12.00
BBC Radio 1’s Residency — Will Atkinson
1.00am Toddla T 4.00 Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Sara Cox 9.30 Ken Bruce
12.00 Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright
5.00 Simon Mayo. Nigel Barden prepares
barbecued rack of beef ribs for the team 7.00
Bob Harris Country. Americana, country and
roots music 8.00 Jo Whiley. Music and chat
10.00 The Radio 2 Arts Show with Jonathan
Ross. The veteran broadcaster introduces
cultural commentary 12.00 The Craig Charles
House Party (r) 2.00am Radio 2’s Tracks of
My Years Playlist 3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Have
A Great Weekend 4.00 Radio 2 Playlist:
Feelgood Friday 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show, featuring listener requests
9.00 Essential Classics
Rob Cowan is joined by writer Michael
Morpurgo, who chooses more of his favourite
classical works. The Proms Artist of the
Week is the Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Brahms (1833-1897)
Donald Macleod reveals how in the 1880s,
Brahms found a new champion in the shape
of Hans von Bülow, director of music at the
ducal court of Saxe-Meiningen. Brahms (Bei
dir sind meine Gedanken, Op 95 No 2; Der
Jäger, Op 95 No 4 — 1883-4; Nänie, Op 82;
String Quintet No 1 in F, Op 88 — 1st mvt;
Gesang der Parzen, Op 89; and Symphony
No 3 in F, Op 90 — 3rd and 4th mvt) (r)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Fiona Talkington introduces highlights from
the 2017 Cheltenham Music Festival. Today,
the Nash Ensemble perform a rarity by the
Swedish composer Franz Berwald, and the
Gould Trio play Beethoven’s first published
work. Berwald (Grand Septet in B flat); and
Beethoven (Piano Trio in E flat, Op 1 No 1)
GETTY IMAGES
The new series World’s Busiest Cities focused on Hong Kong
2.00 Afternoon on 3
Martin Handley presents another chance to
hear the Filarmonica della Scala with the
conductor Riccardo Chailly, joined by the
violinist Leonidas Kavakos in a performance
at the Royal Albert Hall. First broadcast on
Friday, August 25th. Brahms (Violin Concerto
in D major); and Respighi (Fountains
of Rome; and Pines of Rome) (r)
4.30 In Tune
Sean’s guests include the pianist Yuanfan
Yang — former finalist of the BBC Young
Musician competition and now about to
release his debut CD. The Tallis Scholars and
Peter Phillips visit the studio before they
perform as part of the 150 Psalms project in
the Netherlands. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
6.30 Composer of the Week:
Brahms (1833-1897) (r)
7.30 Live BBC Proms 2017
The BBC Symphony Orchestra and Kirill
Gerstein, conducted by Semyon Bychkov,
play live from the Royal Albert Hall,
presented by Penny Gore. Taneyev (Overture
— The Oresteia); Rachmaninov (Piano
Concerto No.1); and Tchaikovsky
(Manfred Symphony). See Radio Choice
10.15 Not Suitable for Children
Dr Sophie Coulombeau explores the history
of stories for children that have sent adults
into a spin. From the trashy delights of
Pinkerton detectives in turn of the century
Russia to the culture wars endlessly being
fought out across America over books that
feature anything from intimations of
sexuality to ungodliness to wizardry (r)
11.00 Exposure
Verity Sharp hosts this month’s Exposure at
the Exeter Phoenix, showcasing new and
experimental music in various genres,
performed by artists based in the locality.
There will be sets by Drift Chamber (a new
group led by the composer/performer Joe
Duddell), Solarference (live sampling and
trad folk from Nick Janaway and Sarah
Owen), and A Quiet Night In — an ensemble
led by the composer/violinist Emma Welton
12.00 Late Junction Mixtape
The Brazilian-American musician Arto
Lindsay takes us on a tour of his record
collection, featuring Bahian harmony
singing, Lou Reed and rap from Atlanta
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day
6.00 Today
With John Humphrys and Nick Robinson
9.00 Reflections
Michael Howard reflects on his life and
career, including his family background
and upbringing in south Wales (4/4)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
How Not to Be a Boy
Robert Webb reads from his memoir. A new
domestic arrangement and his father’s
unexpectedly fastidious guidelines on
hygiene prove a challenge (4/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Discussion and interviews with Jane Garvey.
Including at 10.45 the Drama: Part four of
the second series of AL Kennedy’s comedy
drama Subterranean Homesick Blues
11.00 Crossing Continents
A young Somali refugee tries to live the
American dream (6/9)
11.30 Costume Drama:
The Wonderful World of Cosplay
Yasmeen Khan meets fans who dress up
as film and television characters (r)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Home Front
By Mike Walker
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 Streets Apart:
A History of Social Housing
The story of Ebenezer Howard, the founder
of the garden city movement (4/10)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Quill
Comedy, by Tony Jones. Edward Quill is given
the task of writing a blockbuster play for the
Hunslet Fair by the actor manager at Wragg’s
Theatrical Pavilion. Daniel Weyman stars (r)
3.00 Open Country
Helen Mark visits the Brecks in East Anglia,
an area of Norfolk and Suffolk that is a
combination of sandy heathland (10/11)
3.27 Radio 4 Appeal
On behalf of Cerebra
3.30 Open Book
Mariella Frostrup examines the enduring
power of Greek mythology (r)
4.00 The Film Programme
A look at the film, God’s Own Country
4.30 BBC Inside Science
The latest scientific research
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Chain Reaction
Catastrophe star Sharon Horgan talks
to writer Dennis Kelly (6/6) (r)
month for the privilege. There were no
kitchen facilities. God knows about the
bathroom arrangements; that
wasn’t addressed. Truly this was
gobsmacking. They should make a full
hour on this alone. I’d watch it.
Mountain: Life at the Extreme
is not a boring title. And there was
barely a boring second in this entire
hour about the Rockies. If television’s
purpose is to transport the viewer so
that their mouth makes an “O” shape
and they shout at random members
of their family, “Come and see this”,
then this programme’s work is done.
Its hero was the wildlife cameraman
Casey Anderson, whose obsession is
catching the secretive mountain lion
on film. After months of patience his
(and our) spectacular reward was
an eerie night sequence in which a
mountain lion used a derelict farm
as its lair and meat locker. Incredibly,
he managed to persuade some hunters
to call off their dogs, which had his
muse pathetically cornered, and
saved its life.
I got quite choked about that. There
was also a man who gaily flung
himself off a 3,000ft-high peak, like
Superman, in some sort of flying suit
fashioned from a duvet (it wasn’t, so
don’t try this at home). He said he did
it to “show how insignificant I am”.
Blimey. Most people achieve that by
joining Tinder or asking for a pay rise.
carol.midgley@thetimes.co.uk
7.00 The Archers
Lilian tries to explain herself
7.15 Front Row
Arts programme
7.45 Subterranean Homesick Blues
By AL Kennedy (4/5) (r)
8.00 The Briefing Room
Current affairs documentary focusing
on an important issue in the news
8.30 In Business
Lesley Curwen explores the future for the
British fishing industry after Brexit (5/9)
9.00 BBC Inside Science
The latest scientific research (r)
9.30 Reflections
Former Conservative leader and home
secretary Michael Howard reflects
on his life and career (4/4) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
With Razia Iqbal
10.45 Book at Bedtime: Afterworld
By Anthony Doerr (4/5)
11.00 Bunk Bed
Kathy Burke joins Peter Curran and Patrick
Marber, relating her memories of reading
saucy novels aloud for an audience of
fellow teenagers in the 1970s (2/6)
11.30 Enlightenment After Dark
Allan Little hosts debates from Edinburgh
in an Enlightenment spirit, continuing with
the ageing world at Newhailles House (4/5)
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week:
How Not to Be a Boy (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
8.00am Stop Messing About! 8.30 The Goon
Show 9.00 Whispers 9.30 Semi Circles
10.00 I Want to Go Home 11.00 School
Days 11.15 To Serve Them All My Days
12.00 Stop Messing About! 12.30pm The
Goon Show 1.00 A Case for Dr Morelle
1.30 Songlines 2.00 Annals of the Parish
2.15 Could Do Better. A word about Kenneth
Williams’ school reports. See Radio Choice
2.30 South Riding 2.45 Darling Monster
3.00 I Want to Go Home 4.00 Whispers
4.30 Semi Circles 5.00 Double Income, No
Kids Yet 5.30 That Jan Ravens 6.00 Five
Tales by Saki 6.15 Brian Aldiss Short Stories
6.30 Great Lives 7.00 Stop Messing About!.
Comedy with Kenneth Williams 7.30 The
Goon Show. Comedy with Spike Milligan 8.00
A Case for Dr Morelle. The Wedding Dress.
Detective drama by Ernest Dudley. From 1957
8.30 Songlines. With David Stafford
9.00 School Days. Romeo and Julie by Clare
Seal. From 2001 9.15 To Serve Them All My
Days. By RF Delderfield. From 2006 10.00
Comedy Club: That Jan Ravens. Impressions
show. First aired in 2011 10.30 Party. The
student politicians use prison-based
television programmes as inspiration for
their policy on crime and punishment
10.55 The Comedy Club Interview. A chat
with a guest from the world of comedy
11.00 Big Booth Too. Comedy with Boothby
Graffoe 11.30 The Museum of Everything.
Comedy with Marcus Brigstocke
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 5 Live Daily
with Emma Barnett 1.00pm Afternoon
Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport.
The final deals of Transfer Deadline Day
11.00 Phil Williams. Live news and sport
1.00am Up All Night 5.00 Reports
5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
10.00 Jim White 1.00pm Hawksbee and
Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham and Darren
Gough 7.00 Kick-off 10.00 Sports Bar
1.00am Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Digital only
7.00am Nemone 10.00 Tom Ravenscroft
1.00pm Mark Radcliffe 4.00 Steve Lamacq
6.00 Steve Lamacq’s Roundtable 7.00 Marc
Riley 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music
Recommends with Steve Lamacq 1.00am
The Story of Stax 2.00 Hit the Road Stax
2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30 6 Music’s
Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Bill Turnbull 5.00 Classic FM
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00 The Full
Works Concert. Musicians of the modern era
who embraced the digital revolution.
Tchaikovsky (Violin Concerto in D); Yann
Tiersen (Rhyme of Another Summer —
Afternoon); Verdi (Ave Maria); John Lennon/
Paul McCartney (Here, There and
Everywhere); Mozart (Sinfonia Concertante
in E-flat); Nigel Hess (Piano Concerto);
and Eric Whitacre (Sleep) 10.00 Smooth
Classics 1.00am Jane Jones
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
11
1GT
MARC BRENNER
Jazz
Kandace Springs
Ronnie Scott’s, W1
Prom 60
Oslo PO/Petrenko
Royal Albert Hall
A
O
{{(((
{{{{(
t the end of her show,
as she paid homage to
Roberta Flack, you could
begin to understand why
Kandace Springs has been
causing such a stir. There may not
have been anything radically different
about her version of Ewan MacColl’s
classic The First Time Ever I Saw Your
Face, but those long, liquid lines were
genuinely affecting.
What was more surprising, though,
was just how mundane much of her
trio’s programme turned out to be.
Until now I had only seen Springs
make cameo appearances in concert
halls. While she was an impressive
guest in last week’s Charles Mingus
Prom, her performance in Soho
made it clear that she is very much
a work-in-progress.
A Nashville-based singer-pianist
who attracted the attention of Prince
early in her career, she combines
a kittenish, photogenic image (her
Afro is getting almost as much media
attention as that of the overhyped
Esperanza Spalding) with a likeably
unassuming stage presence. You can’t
help warming to the homely twang
in her voice as she addresses the
audience as “y’all”.
Yet if her timbre is warm and
seductive, her phrasing tends to
run through a conventional chain
of tepid R&B devices with a few
boppish trimmings. Her original
compositions lack substance as well.
Duke Ellington’s Solitude shimmered.
The rest was not quite soulful enough
to be soul, and not swinging
enough as jazz.
Extended piano solos exposed
her technical limitations. As she
switched back and forth from acoustic
to electric keyboards, she was given
solid accompaniment by the bassist
Sam Vicary and by the drummer
Luke Flowers.
Amid the bland original material,
Springs took flight on an up-tempo
arrangement of How Insensitive, a
ballad that Antônio Carlos Jobim
based, in part, on a Chopin prelude.
It was preceded, however, by a
lumbering classical medley in which
the Polish composer was put through
the mincer along with Mozart and
Beethoven. Not a pretty sight.
Clive Davis
Theatre
A Fox on the
Fairway
Queen’s Theatre,
Hornchurch
{{(((
artsfirst night
I
Jaz Deol as Binoy, Shubham Saraf as Dinesh and Raj Bajaj as Badal in Tanika Gupta’s play
A political family affair
This new play
brings the
fight for Indian
independence
to vivid life,
writes Ann
Treneman
Theatre
Lions and Tigers
Sam Wanamaker
Playhouse, SE1
{{{{(
t’s good to feel as if the characters
in a farce are making it up as they
go along; it’s less good to feel as
if the playwright is doing the same.
This golfing comedy by Ken
Ludwig, the American playwright
best known for Lend Me a Tenor,
hits the bunkers right from its
loose first swings at motivation
and characterisation.
This British premiere of Ludwig’s
2010 play is a pastiche of
an old-school British farce: no place
for restraint. Yet a good farce earths
its preposterousness with rigorous
internal logic. Here, our golf club
manager hero Henry needs only the
gentlest nudge from his preening rival
before he is betting his money and his
marriage on that day’s annual match
between their clubs.
This is such a random act of hubris,
and Henry is such a supercilious shit
L
ions and tigers and, oh my,
let’s just forget the bears. Here
the lions are the British, as in
the Raj, and the tigers are
the Bengalis, and this story
centres on three young men, boys
really, who were martyrs to the cause
of Indian independence. The
playwright Tanika Gupta is related
to one of them, Dinesh Gupta, her
great-uncle, who was hanged in
prison in 1931 at the age of 19. He is
played with tremendous energy by
Shubham Saraf, as warm and lively
as the candles flickering on this
wonderful stage.
This is an ambitious undertaking,
telling not just Dinesh’s story, but
other, better-known political strands.
So we see Mahatma Gandhi, aged 61,
swaddled, adamantly non-violent,
and more than a little obsessed with
his spinning machine. There’s
Jawaharlal Nehru, aged 40, torn
between the freedom fighter’s passion
and Gandhi’s refusal to condone
violence in any form.
There are other figures, the most
intriguing being a woman named
Bimala, a former political prisoner
who now grooms young men (like
Dinesh) to her cause. Her contempt
for Gandhi is obvious. At one point
Dinesh talks about how he saw police
arresting a schoolteacher who kept
anyway, that it’s hard to care
as his star player defects to
the other side; as his new staff
member, Justin, proves to be
a talented replacement; as
his waitress, Louise,
Justin’s fiancée, spoils
everything by being a
hysterical nincompoop.
Long before Henry
drunkenly declares his
love for sexy divorcée
Pamela without realising
the whole club is listening,
his wife Muriel included,
it’s impossible to suspend
your disbelief.
Philip Wilson’s production is
game, acted on a neat
clubhouse set by Colin
Falconer. Damien Matthews
has presence and energy as
Henry, a man likeable only in
crying out for Gandhi. “Gandhi won’t
save him!” spits Bimala. “What’s he
going to do? Turn up with his little
squeaking spinning wheel and irritate
them into leaving?”
Dinesh is the one we are drawn to,
though, because Tanika Gupta knew
so much more about him, having
access to the copious letters he wrote
from prison to his brother Jyotish and
sister-in-law Kamala. They are played
by Tony Jayawardena and Shalini
Peiris so realistically that I felt I knew
the entire family by the end.
Pooja Ghai directs and keeps it
flowing, although there were a few
moments in the first half of this
two-and-a-half-hour play that did
stall. The free-form set, by Rosa
Maggiora, of moveable screens and
mats makes it easy to tell this story of
many layers. The live music, composed
by Arun Ghosh, creates an evocative
atmosphere and there are welcome
extra touches, such as the balletic
Indian stick-fighting.
The danger always here was that
this would end up being some sort of
3D history lesson because so much
information has to be crammed in.
But Gupta has avoided that. The
personal is political, especially when
lions and tigers (oh my) go to war.
Box office: 020 7401 9919,
to Sept 16
contrast to his opposite
number, Simon Lloyd’s
garishly dressed Dickie.
Ottilie Mackintosh, left, and
Romayne Andrews as the
berkish young lovers, and
Sarah Quist as Muriel all
lend decent support.
It’s Natalie Walter as Pamela
who often keeps it afloat, though,
lending this wounded lush the
right sort of twinkle in her eye
and spring in her step. Yes, as
the strands come together,
it turns out that Ludwig had some
sort of plan all along. Yet not only
does this show lack the sort of
expertly timed entrances and
exits that add frisson
to even a sub-par
Ray Cooney farce,
but the set pieces too
often feel optional.
pen a Russian doll and
there’s another inside.
Vasily Petrenko’s
all-Russian Prom with the
Oslo Philharmonic began
with a look back into Slavic legend, the
1919 suite from Stravinsky’s The
Firebird, a piece arranged two years
after the Russian Revolution, when the
country was fast-tracked from an age of
firebirds to an age of fire and steel
production. For Rachmaninov
revolution meant exile and creative
uncertainty — anxieties etched over
his Fourth Piano Concerto — and for
Shostakovich a lifetime of negotiation
between his private loyalties and his
public status. Most felt that the
Symphony No 12, The Year 1917, couldn’t
possibly be the newly card-carrying
communist composer at his happiest.
This was a clever programme,
whose finale had us acclaiming the
Dawn of Humanity — Shostakovich’s
cheer-the-communists finale to the
12th Symphony, which is ecstatic,
ear-splitting and verging on banal —
when normally it’s The Firebird that
sends a crowd home happy. Sometimes
it was hard to believe it was the same
band that had played both pieces.
With a balletically twirling left hand,
Petrenko had shaped a vivid, intimate
Firebird, drowsy string tremolos almost
disappearing into the mist, carnival
diablerie for Kastchei’s fairytale nasties.
As the disciplinarian in charge of
The Year 1917, Petrenko drew harder,
fiercer textures, although the most
affecting music in this brittle symphony
is its middle movement, with an eerie
chorale figure first heard in the winds
and then passed to a quartet of deep
brass. These cast an unsettling chill.
Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto
No 4 is a riddle, more dolls within
dolls, some with happy faces, some
not. Leif Ove Andsnes was the soloist,
supple in attack, clean and fresh in
tone, but lacking glamour and dazzle.
It was the orchestra that often wrested
the spotlight from him, particularly
the characterful Ukrainian bassoonist
Roman Reznik. Only the encores
cooled the blood in this heated Prom:
from Andsnes, Sibelius’s limpid
Romance, and from the orchestra,
the final Russian doll, Rachmaninov’s
winsome Vocalise.
Neil Fisher
The characters start chucking
around a £10,000 vase like
a rugby ball, say, but only because
that’s the sort of thing that happens
in a show such as this. There are a few
good lines and the curtain-call dance
routine is a joyful bit of nonsense
(credit to the choreographer Sally
Beck Wippman). Mostly, alas, it’s
a mis-hit.
Dominic Maxwell
Box office: 01708 443333 to Sept 16
The Venice Film
Festival launches
with Matt Damon
in Downsizing
First Night in the main paper
12
1GT
Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Educating Greater
Manchester
Channel 4, 9pm
Welcome to
the real-life
Ackley
Bridge.
The latest run of the
fly-on-the-wall series
is set in Harrop Fold
School in Salford,
pupils and outsiders.
Eleven-year-old Rani
was forced to flee
Syria with his family
and has been at the
school for a few
months, but has yet to
make any friends. He is
a fish out of water and
to make matters worse
he is being bullied.
Enter Jack, who
makes it his mission
to befriend the shy
refugee. “I think he’s
going to have a good
life here,” Jack says.
Here’s hoping.
The teaching staff
are populated with
engaging characters
such as Miss Bland,
the head of Year 7 and
Harrop’s student
support team. Kind,
warm-hearted and
no-nonsense, she’s like
a character written
for Julie Walters by
Victoria Wood (she
even looks a bit like
Walters). Outside
events puncture the
school bubble as the
shock waves of the
terrorist attack at
the Ariana Grande
concert are felt.
Who Do You
Think You Are?
BBC One, 8pm
The film director and
actor Noel Clarke
(Adulthood) grew up as
an only child with his
single mother on a
council estate in west
London. “I don’t have a
lot of connections and
roots,” he says, “so I
definitely feel like
there’s something
missing.” He starts with
his mum, who for the
first 11 years of her
life was raised by her
grandmother, Elizabeth
Adina. Clarke travels to
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
Early
challenges in a difficult
year for education.
In the past five years
the number of pupils
with English as an
additional language
has quadrupled. “Most
kids integrate really
well because kids will
be kids,” Povey says.
“But every now and
then it gets a bit more
complex.” There are
frequent flashpoints
between British-born
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Countryfile: Summer Diaries.
Margherita Taylor heads to St Michael’s Mount 10.00
Homes Under the Hammer. Properties about to be
auctioned in Derbyshire, Staffordshire and
Wolverhampton (r) (AD) 11.00 Britain’s Home Truths.
Gloria Hunniford explores housing in Northern Ireland (r)
(AD) 11.45 Close Calls: On Camera. Reports on a dad
trapped beneath a bus, and a surfer who collides with a
jet ski (r) (AD) 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. From Hungerford
in Berkshire (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC News at One; Weather
1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather 1.45 Red Rock. An
unlikely love affair blossoms, Bridget is tempted to ignore
Katie and Angela needs to obey orders and stop pestering
the Reids (AD) 2.30 Impossible. Game show hosted by
Rick Edwards (r) 3.15 Escape to the Continent. Nicki
Chapman helps a Leicestershire couple find a new home
and fresh way of life on Portugal’s Silver Coast, and
learns about a famous Portuguese ceramicist (r) (AD)
4.15 Flog It! Highlights from the RAF Museum in Hendon,
north London (r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz show hosted
by Alexander Armstrong (r) 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30 Countryfile:
Summer Diaries (r) 7.15 Britain’s Home Truths (r) (AD)
8.00 Sign Zone: Nadiya’s British Food Adventure (r) (AD,
SL) 8.30 Great British Menu (r) (SL) 9.00 Victoria
Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 1.00pm Perfection
(r) 1.45 FILM: The Adventures of Tintin: The
Secret of the Unicorn (PG, 2011) A reporter goes on
a globetrotting quest to find a sunken ship containing a
pirate’s lost treasure. Animated adventure based on the
comic-strip series with the voices of Jamie Bell and Andy
Serkis (AD) 3.25 Coast Australia. The team explores
Western Australia’s Coral Coast (r) (AD) 4.15 Planet
Earth. Following the epic journey of a humpback whale
and its calf as they travel from a tropical paradise to the
species’ great feeding ground in the icy polar seas (r)
(AD) 5.15 Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is. The
antiques experts James Braxton and Kate Bliss continue
their rivalry at an antiques fair in Peterborough, buying
and selling collectibles for the most profit (r) 6.00
Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine (r) 6.30
Royal Recipes. Celebrating food and drink inspired
by the royal family’s tours overseas and at home
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features 8.30 GMB Today. Ben Shephard and
Ranvir Singh present a summer version of Good Morning
Britain. McFly’s Danny Jones talks about the football
match raising money for victims of the Grenfell Tower fire
taking place on Saturday. Three of the competing couples
from ITV2’s new game show Bromans chat about the
series 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Studio chat show (r)
10.30 This Morning. Chat and lifestyle features, including
a look at the stories making the newspaper headlines and
a recipe in the kitchen. Presented by Eamonn Holmes and
Ruth Langsford 12.30pm Loose Women. The ladies put
the world to rights once more and invite guests James
Martin and Esther Rantzen to chat about what they are
up to 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge Rinder.
Criminal barrister Robert Rinder takes on real-life cases
in a studio courtroom 3.00 Dickinson’s Real Deal. The
team is in the Shropshire town of Shrewsbury, where
items of interest include a collection of Beswick, a pair of
diamond earrings and some silver (r) 4.00 Tipping Point.
Arcade-themed quiz show (r) 5.00 Cash Trapped. Quiz
6.00 Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 Will & Grace (r) 7.10 The
King of Queens (r) 8.00 Everybody Loves Raymond (r)
(AD) 9.00 Frasier (r) 10.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.00 The Simpsons (r) (AD) 12.00 Channel 4 News
Summary 12.05pm Couples Come Dine with Me. Three
couples in Essex compete for the cash prize of £1,000 (r)
1.05 French Collection. Three Brits with an eye for a
bargain scour a market in Rouen in Normandy for
treasures to upcycle and sell in north London, including an
ornate bedframe and a soda syphon 2.10 Countdown.
With Dictionary Corner guest Mark Pougatch 3.00 Cheap
Cheap Cheap. Kelly’s love life provides the drama, and
Barry causes a splash when one couple must choose the
cheapest item of swimwear 4.00 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun. A south London family seeks a holiday home
on Spain’s Costa del Sol on a £120,000 budget (r) 5.00
Come Dine with Me. A critical laundrette owner hosts in
Manchester 5.30 Streetmate. Scarlett Moffatt searches
the streets of Birmingham with a dance fanatic who has
never had a boyfriend 6.00 The Simpsons. Lisa takes out
a restraining order against Bart (r) (AD) 6.30 Hollyoaks.
Hunter and Neeta prepare to go on a date (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Studio debate
on the day’s news 11.15 The Yorkshire Vet. A farmer
brings in one of his much-loved semi-feral cats for
treatment, with tricky surgery required to remove the
lump on his face that could be a life-threatening tumour
(r) (AD) 12.10pm 5 News Lunchtime 12.15 The Hotel
Inspector. Alex Polizzi heads to the Dorset seaside resort
of Bournemouth to help the owner of a struggling hotel
where all 55 bedrooms have been named after famous
actors and pop stars (r) 1.15 Home and Away (AD) 1.45
Neighbours (AD) 2.15 NCIS. Vance insists on taking
charge of an investigation into the fatal shooting of a
boxer — but finds his past coming under scrutiny as the
case unfolds (r) (AD) 3.15 FILM: Badge of Betrayal
(12, TVM, 2014) A woman discovers her son’s death
was faked by her ex-husband, but needs to find evidence
to prove her claims. Thriller starring Julie Benz, Matthew
Kevin Anderson and Samantha Ferris 5.00 5 News at 5
5.30 Neighbours. The contents of Russell’s will causes
shockwaves with the Brennan boys (r) (AD) 6.00 Home
and Away. The Astonis move towards a reconciliation
with Leah and Alf (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
7PM
Top
pick
Greater Manchester.
When the head
teacher, Mr Povey,
joined the school it had
a reputation as one of
the worst in the UK.
With his two brothers
and the rest of the
staff, he has been
working tirelessly to
turn its reputation
round. At the heart
of a multicultural
community, it provides
a unique set of
7.00 The One Show Matt Baker and Alex
Jones present the live magazine,
featuring chat and stories of interest
7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip
The historians Suzannah Lipscomb and
Kate Williams take on the antiquehunting challenge, searching from
Bletchley in Buckinghamshire to an
auction in London with the help
of the experts David Harper and
Catherine Southon (r)
7.00 Emmerdale Faith tries to put on a
brave face, Bob is overwhelmed with
guilt, and Robert has to think fast (AD)
8.00 Who Do You Think You Are?
The actor and film-maker Noel Clarke
starts his search in Trinidad as he
uncovers his ancestry, but soon ends
up on one of the smallest and most
beautiful islands in the Caribbean.
See Viewing Guide (8/10) (AD)
8.00 The Big Family Cooking
Showdown Culinary competition
hosted by Zoe Ball and Nadiya Hussain,
in which the Pigotts from Oxfordshire
face the Hilliards from Essex. The
Pigott brothers hope to impress
the judges with their bold, globally
inspired flavours (3/12) (AD)
8.00 Emmerdale Pollard and Faith clash in
the shop, and Robert finds himself
in a tricky situation (AD)
9.00 Ambulance One hour into the night
shift with West Midlands Ambulance
Service and the control centre is
dealing with its third cardiac arrest,
as the MERIT team cares for a patient
who has been stabbed and is bleeding
heavily. See Viewing Guide (2/8)
9.00 Top of the Lake: China Girl Robin
and Pyke are plunged into a nightmare
when Miranda reports that someone
has been shot dead at Silk 41, where
the police are getting nowhere with
a grief-stricken Mamasan Dang and
the girls. Plus, Mary has been taken
hostage by the gunman (6/6) (AD)
9.00 The eBay Scammers Every day in
Britain, 100 people become a victim
of fraud when shopping online. This
programme follows detectives as
they investigate an eastern European
gang making millions by fooling
victims into paying money into
accounts they control.
Late
11PM
10PM
9PM
8PM
7.30 EastEnders Mick tries to apologise to
Linda by surprising her with a touching
present, while Jane makes a startling
discovery about Steven (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.45 Football Focus: Transfer Deadline
Day Special Dan Walker and guests
preside over updates from the final
moments of the transfer window
11.15 The Week the Landlords Moved In
Millionaire landlord Paul admits he has
lost touch with the reality for his
tenants, as he gives up his business
lifestyle to move into one of his own
rental properties. Meanwhile in Surrey,
landlord Ben moves into one of his own
properties currently occupied by
students, a prospect he finds
terrifying (4/4) (r) (AD)
12.20am-6.00 BBC News
10.00 MOTD: The Premier League Show
Gabby Logan presents the magazine,
featuring news and highlights
10.30 Newsnight Analysis of the day’s
events presented by Emily Maitlis
11.15 Mountain: Life at the Extreme
The extraordinary animals and people
who make their homes in mountain
ranges around the world, beginning
with the Rockies, a beautiful
wilderness of snowcapped peaks and
hidden valleys (1/3) (r) (AD)
12.15am Sign Zone: Celebrity MasterChef The
remaining contenders are sent on their first mass
catering challenge, making lunch for over 100 members of
staff at Europe’s largest biomedical research facility (r)
(AD, SL) 1.45-2.45 10 Puppies and Us. A family try to
toilet train their new cockapoo (4/4) (r) (AD, SL)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 All New Traffic Cops A classic
high-speed pursuit and tactical stop on
the motorway is undertaken to catch
criminals who have stolen a boiler.
Meanwhile, some sleuthing from the
road crime team in North Yorkshire
uncovers a kitchen where forgers are
turning out Scottish £20 notes (r)
8.00 Lego Masters The teams compete in
two challenges on the theme of
movement, including an unplanned
build where they must construct a
different mode of transport. This
week’s Planned Build sees the teams
create a miniature funfair, with at
least one moving ride (2/4) (AD)
8.00 Nightmare Tenants, Slum
Landlords Eviction lawyer Chris deals
with a complex case in which squatters
have broken into an empty pub and are
now refusing to leave. While, Jill is
trying to regain a property she bought
as an investment which she has been
renting out to alleviate financial stress
9.00 Educating Greater Manchester
New series. Life at Harrop Fold
Secondary in Salford, Greater
Manchester, a school at the heart of
a changing community, following the
teachers dealing with daily events.
See Viewing Guide (1/8) (AD)
9.00 Gypsy Kids: Our Secret World
New series. The return of the series
exploring childhood in Gypsy and
traveller communities. In Birmingham,
tensions are running high for a
nine-year-old and her cousins, who are
being evicted by bailiffs every seven
days. See Viewing Guide (1/3)
10.00 Celeb Trolls: We’re Coming to Get
You A dramatic confrontation ensues
when Frankie Bridge and her team
target a troll who sent vile messages
to The X-Factor star Chloe Jasmine,
and Rebekah Vardy talks of the
horrendous online threats she
and her family received (2/3)
11.40 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive The
famous faces cross a ravine on ropes
— with a 50ft drop below (2/6) (r)
10.00 The Great British Bake Off: An
Extra Slice New series. Jo Brand
presents the companion show to the
baking contest, featuring an interview
with the week’s eliminated baker.
See Viewing Guide (1/10)
10.50 Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls
Ten famous faces endure four weeks
with just the clothes on their back,
basic tools, medical supplies, 24 hours
of water and each other. After Bear
Grylls drops them in a swamp, Iwan
takes the reins and leads the group to
a beach, but Shazia dislikes his
gung-ho attitude (r) (AD)
11.55 24 Hours in A&E A man is admitted
after a serious bicycle collision (r) (AD)
12.30am Jackpot247 Interactive gaming 3.00 Fight or
Flight? The Drunken Truth: Tonight. Aasmah Mir reports
on the problem of drunken passengers at airports and on
aircraft, investigating the reasons behind the hundreds of
arrests over the past year (r) 3.25 ITV Nightscreen
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show (r) (SL)
12.55am One Born Every Minute (r) (AD, SL) 1.50
From Russia to Iran: Crossing the Wild Frontier. Levison
Wood travels into the badlands of Dagestan (r) (AD) 2.45
Wasting Away: The Truth about Anorexia (r) (AD) 3.40
Location, Location, Location (r) (SL) 4.35 Selling Houses
with Amanda Lamb (AD) 5.30-6.00 Too Many Cooks (r)
12.00 SuperCasino 3.10am The Dog Rescuers with
Alan Davies. Kris finds a severely matted dog (r) (AD)
4.00 Witch Hunt: A Century of Murder. A profile of
17th-century “Witchfinder General” Matthew Hopkins
(r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (SL) 5.10 House
Busters (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Wildlife SOS (r) (SL)
7.30 Fight or Flight? The Drunken
Truth: Tonight Aasmah Mir reports
on the problem of drunken passengers
at airports and on aircraft
8.30 James Martin’s French Adventure
The chef’s culinary tour of France
leads him to the distinct and diverse
region of the Camargue (8/10)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 Regional News
10.40 Diana: The Day Britain Cried
Recalling how the Princess’ death
brought the world to a standstill,
telling the story of the immediate
aftermath through the memories of
people who played a part in it, many
of who are speaking publically on the
subject for the first time (r) (AD)
11.00 Celebrity Botched Up Bodies
The glamour model Emma B asks for
her breast implants to be straightened
out. Plus, how Celebrity Big Brother
star Chloe Goodman faced a media
backlash after an unsuccessful Botox
treatment, and a look at the work
undergone by US singer Cher (5/9) (r)
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
13
1GT
television & radio
Trinidad to find out
more about her —
and his great-greatgrandmother —
and makes a number
of surprising
discoveries. He then
moves on to his father’s
family. He discovers
that his four-times
great-grandfather was
born into slavery, and
meets distant (and
musical) relatives on
the island of Carriacou.
Ambulance
BBC One, 9pm
“Friday night in
Birmingham South
means busy,” says
the West Midlands
Ambulance Service
controller Richard. “A
lot of trauma, possibly
stabbings, you’ve got
strokes, people who’ve
been unconscious . . .”
Life’s rich tapestry. One
hour into the night shift
and the service is
tackling its third
cardiac arrest. It is also
treating a man who has
been stabbed and is
bleeding profusely,
the 12th stabbing victim
of yet another weekend
of violence. Then there
is an elderly man who
has run out of vital
medication and a
family at the end of
their tether living with
an alcoholic who is
refusing medical
attention despite
their pleas.
Gypsy Kids: Our
Secret World
Channel 5, 9pm
The Traveller
community is easy to
vilify, and Channel 4’s
Big Fat Gypsy . . .
documentary series did
little to change public
perceptions. However,
this series, looking at
Traveller life from a
child’s perspective, can
tug at the heartstrings.
They aren’t all angels,
but they do a better PR
job than their parents.
“We’re a lovely family,”
says Margaret, a
houseproud nine-yearold Irish Traveller. She
and her family have
had to move 30 times
in six months because
wherever they stop,
complaints from locals
end in eviction. “We’re
not dogs, we are human
beings as well,” says
Margaret.
The Great British
Bake Off: An
Extra Slice
Channel 4, 10pm
There was no moral
dilemma for Jo Brand
when Bake Off jumped
ship to Channel 4 —
she has remained as
host of the sister show,
which is great news
because it wouldn’t be
the same in anyone
else’s hands. For a start,
she actually eats cake.
Tonight she is joined
by the new judge, Prue
Leith, and a panel of
celebrity Bake Off fans
to look back over
events in the tent and
interview the exiting
baker, Peter.
Sky1
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am NCIS: Los Angeles (r) 8.00 Monkey Life
(r) (AD) 9.00 The Dog Whisperer (r) 11.00
Modern Family (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
2.00pm Road Wars (r) 3.00 Supergirl (r)
4.00 The Flash. Superhero adventure (r)
6.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo. With Kathy Burke,
Sanjeev Bhaskar and John Hannah (r)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 Duck Quacks Don’t Echo. New series. With
Martin Clunes, Jimmy Carr and Aisling Bea (AD)
9.00 Karl Pilkington: The Moaning of Life.
Karl goes in search of people with unique
attitudes towards life (3/6) (r) (AD)
10.00 A League of Their Own: Unseen.
Out-takes and unseen footage (r) (AD)
11.00 Freddie Down Under. Andrew Flintoff
and Rob Penn go snake-catching (r) (AD)
12.00 A League of Their Own. Comedy quiz (r)
(AD) 1.00am The Force: Manchester (r) (AD)
2.00 Ross Kemp in Search of Pirates (r) (AD)
3.00 Brit Cops: Rapid Response (r) (AD) 4.00
Animal 999 (r) 5.00 Monkey Life (r) (AD)
6.00am Storm City (r) (AD) 8.00 Richard E
Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) 10.00 The West Wing
(r) 12.00 Without a Trace (r) 1.00pm CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation (r) 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 Urban Secrets (r) 4.00 The
West Wing. Political drama series (r)
6.00 Without a Trace. An investigation leads
back to a previous case (r)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. First
episode of the crime drama series (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. Danny investigates
the murder of a drag queen (r) (AD)
9.00 Blue Bloods. Danny and Baez investigate
the disappearance of a girl (r) (AD)
10.00 Ballers. Spencer, Joe and Mr Anderson
visit New York. Larry tests Charles’ loyalty
10.35 Insecure. Issa explores casual
relationships and Molly learns some new truths
11.10 Game of Thrones. Fantasy drama (r)
12.40am Risky Drinking. A look at alcohol
abuse in America (r) 2.20 The Following (r)
(AD) 3.20 Looking (r) 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am 60 Minute Makeover (r) 7.00 Nothing
to Declare (r) (AD) 8.00 Road Wars (r) 9.00
Cooks to Market (r) 9.15 My Kitchen Rules:
Australia (r) 10.30 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
12.00 Stop, Search, Seize (r) (AD) 1.00pm
Criminal Minds (r) 2.00 Cold Case (r) 3.00
Cooks to Market (r) 3.15 Stop, Search, Seize (r)
(AD) 4.15 Border Security USA (r) (AD)
5.15 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.15 Nothing to Declare (r) (AD)
6.45 My Kitchen Rules: Australia
8.00 Elementary. Moran returns to warn Holmes
about Moriarty’s latest activities (r) (AD)
9.00 How to Get Away with Murder. Annalise
and Bonnie turn to an unlikely source for help
10.00 Criminal Minds. The team investigates
a triple murder in Utah (r)
11.00 Criminal Minds. The discovery of frozen
bodies leads to a dangerous cult (r)
12.00 Grey’s Anatomy (r) 2.00am Criminal
Minds (r) 3.00 Cold Case (r) 4.00 The Real
A&E (r) 5.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
6.00am Nureyev & Friends 8.00 Auction 8.30
Watercolour Challenge 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected 10.00 Shania Twain: Still the One
— Live in Las Vegas 12.00 Discovering: Charlie
Chaplin (AD) 1.00pm Tales of the Unexpected
2.00 Auction 2.30 Watercolour Challenge 3.00
CMA Music Festival: Country’s Night to Rock
5.00 Discovering: George Michael (AD) 5.30
Discovering: Pet Shop Boys (AD)
6.00 Discovering: Greta Garbo (AD)
7.00 Treasures of the British Library (AD)
8.00 Inside the Actors Studio: Jim Parsons
9.00 Harold Lloyd: Hollywood’s Timeless
Comedy Genius. The life of the silent film star
10.00 Sex & the Silver Screen
11.15 Ruby Robinson. Silent comedy
11.45 Monty Python’s Personal Best
1.00am Tales of the Unexpected. Double bill
2.00 Auction 2.30 Watercolour Challenge 3.00
Harold Lloyd: Hollywood’s Timeless Comedy
Genius 4.00 Beethoven, Brahms & Chopin
5.00 The South Bank Show Originals
6.00am Deadline Day. Sky Sports News
presents news of all the latest football transfers
6.00pm Deadline Day. Sky Sports News
presents news of all the latest football transfers
7.00 Deadline Day. Sky Sports News presents
news of all the latest football transfers
8.00 Live Super League Super 8s: Leeds Rhinos
v Hull FC (Kick-off 8.00). Coverage of the match
between the Yorkshire rivals at Headingley. This
match takes place just five days after the Black
and Whites faced Wigan Warriors in the
Challenge Cup final at Wembley Stadium, so the
Rhinos will look to capitalise on any tiredness
and bruised bodies suffered by the visitors, and
strengthen their claim on a top four finish
10.00 Deadline Day. Sky Sports News presents
news of all the latest football transfers
11.00 Deadline Day. Sky Sports News presents
news of all the latest football transfers
12.00 Through the Night. The day’s talking
points and a look ahead to the events that
are likely to make the news tomorrow
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 7.00pm The Beechgrove
Garden. Jim McColl and Carole Baxter
taste-test turnips, a new broad bean and some
blight-resistant potatoes 7.30-8.00 Dad’s
Army. Walker is caught smuggling Italian PoWs
out of camp at night. James Beck stars (r)
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm World News Today; Weather
7.30 Top of the Pops: 1984. Including music by
Bananarama, Bronski Beat and Wham! (r)
8.00 Britain’s Outlaws: Highwaymen, Pirates
and Rogues. Exploring the criminal underworld
of Britain in the 17th and 18th centuries,
beginning with the arrival of the highwayman
in the wake of the English Civil War (r) (AD)
9.00 Andrew Marr’s The Making of Modern
Britain. A look at how Britain’s arts and
entertainment changed radically after the
trauma of the First World War, and the impact
on the nation of the Irish Civil War and the
General Strike of 1926 (4/6) (r) (AD)
10.00 Wonders of the Universe. How gravity
influences events across the universe (r) (AD)
11.00 Timeshift: How Britain Won the Space
Race — The Story of Bernard Lovell and Jodrell
Bank. The story of how one man turned a field
into a key site in the Space Race (6/6) (r)
12.00 Top of the Pops: 1984 (r) 12.30am The
Heart of Country: How Nashville Became Music
City USA (r) 2.00 Wonders of the Universe
(r) (AD) 3.00-4.00 Britain’s Outlaws:
Highwaymen, Pirates and Rogues (r) (AD)
6.00am Hollyoaks (r) (AD) 6.30 Coach Trip: The
Road to Zante (r) (AD) 7.00 Made in Chelsea (r)
8.00 Melissa & Joey (r) (AD) 9.00 Black-ish (r)
(AD) 10.00 Baby Daddy (r) 11.00 How I Met
Your Mother (r) (AD) 12.00 The Goldbergs (r)
(AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
2.00 Melissa & Joey (r) (AD) 3.00 Baby
Daddy (r) 4.00 Black-ish (r) (AD) 5.00
The Goldbergs. Double bill (r) (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks (AD)
7.30 Coach Trip: Road to Zante (AD)
8.00 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
8.30 Kevin Can Wait (AD)
9.00 Body Fixers. Agonising facial skin boils
10.00 The Inbetweeners (r) (AD)
10.35 The Inbetweeners (r) (AD)
11.10 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
11.40 The Big Bang Theory (r) (AD)
12.10am Gogglebox (r) (SL) 1.15 The
Inbetweeners (r) (AD, SL) 2.20 Body Fixers (r)
3.15 Celebs Go Dating (r) (AD) 4.10 Kevin
Can Wait (r) (AD) 4.35 Rude(ish) Tube (r)
5.00 How I Met Your Mother (r) (AD)
8.55am A Place in the Sun: Home or Away (r)
11.00 Four in a Bed (r) 1.35pm A Place in the
Sun: Home or Away (r) 3.45 Time Team (r) 5.55
Vet on the Hill. Scott Miller treats a French
bulldog that has a life-threatening condition (r)
6.55 George Clarke’s Amazing Spaces. The
architect meets a farmer who is turning
a 1970s fire truck into a mobile shop (r) (AD)
8.00 Craft It Yourself. The team craft-up a
boring bedroom, with Ant and Robin making a
light and Clem gets all tied up in a blanket
9.00 Outlander. Jamie hopes the newly arrived
Duke of Sandringham will help to lift the price
from his head. Meanwhile, Claire attempts
to save an abandoned child (AD)
10.15 Princess Diana’s “Wicked” Stepmother.
An examination of Diana, Princess of Wales’s
turbulent relationship with Raine Spencer, who
went from hated stepmother to one of her
closest confidantes (r) (AD)
11.20 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown. With
Henning Wehn and Victoria Coren Mitchell (r)
12.20am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA.
A restaurant in Philadelphia (r) 1.20 Outlander
(r) (AD) 2.35-3.35 Craft It Yourself (r)
11.00am Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
(U, 1961) Sci-fi adventure starring Walter
Pidgeon 1.10pm The Cat in the Hat (PG,
2003) Comedy fantasy starring Mike Myers
2.45 Congo (12, 1995) Jungle adventure
starring Dylan Walsh 4.55 Time Bandits (PG,
1981) Terry Gilliam’s fantasy comedy starring
Craig Warnock and David Rappaport
7.15 Airplane! (15, 1980) A traumatised war
veteran must face his fear and land an airliner
when the crew are incapacitated. Spoof disaster
movie starring Robert Hays and Leslie Nielsen
9.00 Big Game (12, 2014) A teenage hunter
helps the US president to escape from terrorists
pursuing him through the Finnish wilderness.
Action adventure with Samuel L Jackson (AD)
10.45 Predator (18, 1987) Soldiers on a
mission in a Central American jungle are stalked
by an invisible alien hunter in search of human
prey. Sci-fi thriller with Arnold Schwarzenegger
12.50am-3.05 Predator 2 (15, 1990)
A tough cop investigating a series of gruesome
murders discovers it is the work of an alien that
kills for sport. Sci-fi thriller sequel starring
Danny Glover, Bill Paxton and Gary Busey
6.00am Emma Willis: The Hot Desk (r) 6.10
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records (r) 6.30
Below Deck (r) 7.20 The Ellen DeGeneres Show
(r) 8.00 Emmerdale (r) (AD) 8.30 Coronation
Street (r) (AD) 9.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold:
The Next Generation (r) 10.00 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records (r) 10.30 The Great
Indoors (r) (AD) 11.25 Below Deck (r) 12.20pm
Emmerdale (r) (AD) 12.55 Coronation Street (r)
(AD) 1.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r) 2.00
The Ellen DeGeneres Show (r) 2.50 The Jeremy
Kyle Show (r) 5.00 Judge Rinder (r)
6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold (r)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed and Famous! (r)
8.00 Two and a Half Men (r)
8.30 Two and a Half Men (r)
9.00 FILM: Hot Tub Time Machine 2
(15, 2015) Comedy starring Rob Corddry (AD)
10.55 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.25 Family Guy (r) (AD)
11.55 Family Guy (r) (AD)
12.25am American Dad! (r) (AD) 1.20 Viral Tap
(r) 2.00 Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records
(r) 2.20 Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Judge Judy (r) 6.40 The Royal (r) (AD)
7.40 Heartbeat (r) (AD) 8.40 Where the Heart
Is (r) (AD) 9.40 Judge Judy (r) 10.55 Rising
Damp (r) 11.30 You’re Only Young Twice (r)
12.00 The Darling Buds of May (r) 1.05pm
Heartbeat (r) (AD) 2.05 The Royal (r) 3.10 The
Darling Buds of May (r) 4.20 You’re Only Young
Twice (r) 4.50 On the Buses (r) 5.25 Rising
Damp (r) 5.55 Heartbeat (r) (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. A hypnotist dies in
strange circumstances (r) (AD)
8.00 Midsomer Murders. The peace in a sleepy
hamlet is disturbed when a man’s body is found
tied down in a miniature village (r) (AD)
10.00 Law & Order: UK. The detectives try to
bring a criminal mastermind to justice. Guest
starring Toby Stephens (4/7) (r) (AD)
11.00 The Suspicions of Mr Whicher. Period
drama based on the book by Kate Summerscale.
Inspector Jack Whicher travels to Rode,
Wiltshire, to investigate a murder at a country
house. Starring Paddy Considine (r) (AD)
1.05am Wycliffe. Jack Shepherd stars (r) (SL)
2.00 ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am Goals of the 80s (r) 6.10 The Chase (r)
7.00 Storage Wars: Texas (r) 7.45 The
Professionals (r) (AD) 8.45 Ironside (r) 9.50
Quincy ME (r) 10.50 Minder (r) (AD) 11.55 The
Professionals (r) (AD, SL) 12.55pm Cycling:
Vuelta a España (r) 1.55 Ironside (r) 2.55
FILM: Superman (PG, 1978) Comic-strip
adventure starring Christopher Reeve (AD)
6.00 Storage Wars: Texas (r)
6.30 Storage Wars: Texas (r)
7.00 Cycling: Vuelta a España. Action from
the 12th stage of the Grand Tour race
8.00 The Chase Celebrity Special. Quiz show
with Charlie Brooks, Richard Whitehead,
Shappi Khorsandi and David Dickinson (r)
9.00 Classic TT. A celebration of motorcycling
10.00 FILM: You Only Live Twice
(PG, 1967) James Bond investigates the
disappearance of US and Soviet spacecraft and
finally comes face to face with his deadliest
enemy. Spy thriller starring Sean Connery (AD)
12.25am FILM: Patriot Games (15, 1992)
Political thriller starring Harrison Ford
2.40 ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 American Pickers
9.00 Storage Hunters 10.00 American Pickers
12.00 Top Gear (AD) 3.00pm Brojects 4.00
Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00 Top
Gear. Jeremy Clarkson tests the BMW M5 (AD)
6.00 Top Gear. Aston Martin DB9 Volante (AD)
7.00 Top Gear. Jeremy Clarkson tests the agility
of the Porsche Boxster S and Mercedes SLK (AD)
8.00 Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm.
Nick samples a 16-course taster menu
8.30 Eat Your Heart Out with Nick Helm.
Nick enjoys some American pancakes
9.00 John Bishop: In Conversation with Freddie
Flintoff. The comedian chats to the cricketer
10.00 Not Going Out. Lee gets jealous when
Lucy talks about her first love
10.40 Not Going Out. Lucy’s first love reappears
on the scene. Simon Farnaby guest stars
11.15 QI. With Doon Mackichan, Jimmy Carr,
Alan Davies and Dara O Briain
11.55 QI. With Alan Davies, Rich Hall,
Josie Lawrence and John Sessions
12.35am Mock the Week 1.15 QI 2.35 QI XL
3.30 8 Out of 10 Cats 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 Dangerfield 9.00 Pie in
the Sky 10.00 All Creatures Great and Small
11.00 The Bill 1.00pm Last of the Summer
Wine 1.40 Brush Strokes 2.20 Birds of a
Feather 3.00 Dangerfield 4.00 Pie in the Sky
5.00 All Creatures Great and Small
6.00 Brush Strokes. Comedy with Karl Howman
6.40 Last of the Summer Wine. Compo takes up
marathon running. Bill Owen stars
7.20 To the Manor Born. Audrey learns the art
of housekeeping when Brabinger falls ill
8.00 New Tricks. The team investigates
a fatal boating accident (7/8) (AD)
9.00 Rizzoli & Isles. The duo probe the murder
of a wealthy couple (1/10) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. A painting in the Queen’s
private collection is found to be a fake, and
Standing has to sell his car to buy his
pregnant daughter a pushchair (3/7) (AD)
11.15 Birds of a Feather. Garth falls in love
12.00 The Bill 1.00am FILM: The Last
Musketeer (15, TVM, 2000) Drama starring
Robson Green and Arkie Whiteley 2.55 New
Tricks (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Dickinson’s Real Deal 6.45 Battle
Factory 7.10 Coast 8.00 Battle of Britain: The
Real Story 9.00 Great Barrier Reef with David
Attenborough 12.00 Wild Canada 1.00pm Wild
France (AD) 3.00 Porridge 5.00 Black Ops (AD)
6.00 Coast. Tessa Dunlop discovers how Hitler’s
bombers could have drowned London
7.00 Heroes of the Somme. Military historian Dr
Gavin Hughes traces the stories of seven of the
men whose bravery won them the Victoria Cross
8.00 Deadliest Crash: Disaster at Le Mans.
An accident that killed more than 80 people at
the 1955 Le Mans 24-hour race (AD)
9.00 Impossible Engineering. An oil rig in the
Gulf of Mexico. Last in the series (AD)
10.00 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em. Frank joins a
dancing class, and is recruited to replace an
injured fellow member in a public display
10.40 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em.
Frank awaits the arrival of his grandfather
11.20 Some Mothers Do ’Ave ’Em.
Frank takes a job as a motorcycle dispatch rider
12.00 Coast 1.00am Black Ops (AD) 2.00
Mummies Alive 3.00 Home Shopping
BBC Two Wales
As BBC Two except: 7.00pm The Hairy Bikers’
Comfort Food. Oxtail soup with herby
dumplings and a new take on treacle sponge
7.30-8.00 Weatherman Walking: Pontypridd &
Afan. Derek Brockway takes two walks in the
South Wales Valleys, following the pilgrim
route from Pontypridd to Penrhys and going
mountain biking in the Afan valley (r)
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 The People’s History Show Special: 60
Years of STV. Angus Simpson presents a special
episode, celebrating 60 years of STV (r) 11.35
Diana: The Day Britain Cried. Recalling how the
Princess’ death brought the world to a
standstill, telling the story of the immediate
aftermath through the memories of people who
played a part in it (r) (AD) 12.30am
Teleshopping 1.30-3.00 After Midnight
3.25-5.05 ITV Nightscreen
UTV
As ITV except: 8.30pm-9.00 UTV Life. An
eclectic mix of stories and studio guests 10.40
James Martin’s French Adventure. The chef’s
culinary tour leads him to the distinct and
diverse region of the Camargue, where he
learns all about the Camargue bull and
barbeques a local fish 11.10 Diana: The Day
Britain Cried. Recalling how the Princess’ death
brought the world to a standstill (r) (AD)
12.10am Bear Grylls: Mission Survive. The
celebrities cross a rocky ravine on ropes — with
a 50ft drop below (r) 1.00 Teleshopping
2.00-3.00 ITV Nightscreen
BBC Alba
5.00pm Murdaidh (Jakers! The Adventures of
Piggley Winks) (r) 5.25 Padraig Post: SDS
(Postman Pat: SDS) (r) 5.40 Bruno (r) 5.50 Su
Shiusaidh (Little Suzy’s Zoo) (r) 5.55 Robin
Hood: Comhstri sa Choille (r) 6.10 Tree Fu Tom
(r) 6.35 An Rud As Fhearr Leam (r) 6.40 Fior
Bhall-coise (Extreme Football) (r) 7.05
Bailtean Alba (Scotland’s Towns) (r) 7.30
Speaking Our Language (r) 7.50 Ceòl bho
Perthshire Amber 2016 (r) 8.00 An Là (News)
8.30 Gaisgich na Stoirme (Storm Heroes) (r)
9.00 Balaich na h-Airde (r) 10.00 Canal a’
Phanama (The Panama Canal) 11.25 Dhan
Uisge (Cuan Sound) (r) 11.30-11.55
Togaidh Sinn Fonn (Join in the Music) (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Do Re Mi Dona (r) 6.15 Patrôl
Pawennau (r) 6.30 Halibalw (r) 6.40 Octonots
(r) 6.50 Bing (r) 7.00 Patrôl Pawennau 7.15
Ynys Broc Môr Lili (r) 7.20 Meic y Marchog (r)
7.35 Marcaroni (r) 7.50 Tomos a’i Ffrindiau (r)
8.00 Rapsgaliwn (r) 8.15 Plant y Byd (r) 8.20
Y Dywysoges Fach (r) 8.35 Y Brodyr Coala (r)
8.45 Abadas (r) 9.00 Wibli Sochyn y Mochyn
(r) 9.10 Sbridiri (r) 9.30 Pingu (r) 9.35 Bobi
Jac (r) 9.45 Cei Bach (r) 10.00 Do Re Mi Dona
(r) 10.15 Guto Gwningen (r) 10.30 Halibalw
(r) 10.40 Octonots (r) 10.55 Bing (r) 11.00
Patrôl Pawennau (r) 11.15 Meripwsan (r)
11.20 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 11.35 Tipini
(r) 11.50 Nodi (r) 12.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd
12.05pm Heno (r) 1.00 Gwyllt ar Grwydr (r)
2.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da
3.00 News S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Iolo yn Rwsia
(r) (AD) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00 Stwnsh: Bernard
(r) 5.05 Stwnsh: Y Barf (r) 5.30 Stwnsh: Larfa
(r) 5.35 Stwnsh: Crwbanod Ninja (r) 6.00
News S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Cwpwrdd Dillad (r)
6.30 Stori Pêl-Droed Cymru (r) 7.00 Heno
8.00 Pobol y Cwm. DJ tries to fulfil his
mother’s final wish and the reality of bringing
up Liv’s baby proves to be challenging for Iolo
and Tyler (AD) 8.25 Celwydd Noeth. Quiz show
hosted by Nia Roberts 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Ochr 1: Maes B. Highlights from Maes B
at the 2017 National Eisteddfod 10.30 Codi
Hwyl. Dilwyn Morgan and John Pierce Jones
sail their 27-foot boat to Cape Clear Island, but
the Mistress Wilful has problems with her
engine (r) (AD) 11.00-11.35 Llys Nini (r)
14
Thursday August 31 2017 | the times
1GT
What are your favourite puzzles in MindGames?
Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk
MindGames
1
2
3
4
5
Codeword No 3116
6
7
15
12
5
9
9
10
9
4
7
13
7
12
16
19
26
14
15
16
13
14
18
17
18
19
1
8
9
17
6
20
14
1
2
5
11
1
7
9
7
15
13
12
1
14
6
5
7
22
9
21
9
15
11
19
7
18
7
4
21
15
11
15
12
2L
7
10
21
1
1
2L
5
2L
15
19
7
23
1
10
12
1
1
15
9
26
17
11
3
12
Solution to Crossword 7431
TWE
E
B AR
T
CHA
E
BRA
L V E
O A C
S SUR
E
T O
RGERS
R S
CE S C
H U U
N I NE NAR
M A D R
F A S T L ANE
G E Y N
FOUR
T
T
R
G I
C
E
P
A S
RA
D
L
I
A B
OP S
S
CA L
L
LMS
H EW
M
TOR
T
A I D
V
L E S
11
17
4
11
17
1
4
3
11
14
24
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
P
14
15
16
17
I
M
Down
1
2
3
5
6
Go to bed late (3,2)
Dispute settler (7)
Female sheep (3)
Stupid person (9)
Type size; superior group
(5)
7 Ghost (7)
8 In addition (11)
12 Selling (goods) (9)
14 Product of two primes (7)
16 External surface (7)
18 Tendon, ligament (5)
20 Fertile desert spot (5)
23 Impair, spoil (3)
Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 322 5000 or text
TIMECODE to 88010. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution call
0907 181 1055. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s network access
charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
Lexica
No 3898
V
M
L
E
L
P
I
T
B
S
F
B
S
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0906 757 7188 to check the
answers. Calls cost 80p per minute plus your telephone company’s
network access charge.
SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
T
T
O
R
N
V
A
O
I
G
U
O
V
N
U
D
E
O
D
H
A
N
K
T
O
G
U
N
E
Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters
KenKen Difficult No 4108
Futoshiki No 2989
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
<
3 >
∧
D
E
F
G
H
I
Key
2L = double letter
3L = triple letter
2W = double word
3W = triple word
Letter values
AEIOULNRST=1
DG=2 BCMP=3
FHVWY=4 K=5
JX=8 QZ=10
Challenge compiled by Allan Simmons
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
6Winners will
receive a Collins
English Dictionary
& Thesaurus
Solve the puzzle
and text in the
numbers in the
three shaded
boxes. Text
TIMES followed
by a space, then your three
numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your
name, address and postcode to
88010 (UK only), by midnight.
Or enter by phone. Call 09012
925274 (ROI 1516 415 029)
by midnight. Leave your three
answer numbers (in any order)
and your contact details.
Calls cost £1.00 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge.
Winners will be picked at random from all correct answers received.
One draw per week. Lines close at midnight tonight.
If you call or text after this time you will not be entered but will still be
charged. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
7
27
22
14
12
7
32
19
4
>
33
11
13
28
7
18
3
9
<
16
27
6
20
16
11
<
C
SCRABBLE® is a registered trademark of J. W. Spear & Sons Ltd ©Mattel 2017
23
∨
B
Kakuro No 1948
5
∨
A
Use only the board area shown. Collins Official
Scrabble Words is the authority used, although the
solutions are not unusual words. Standard Scrabble
rules apply for making the word plays.
Numbers are substituted for letters in the crossword grid. Below the grid is the
key. Some letters are solved. When you have completed your first word or
phrase you will have the clues to more letters. Enter them in the key grid and
the main grid and check the letters on the alphabet list as you complete them.
Yesterday’s solution, right
No 3897
14 15
rate
3L
a
2L
2W x
cerebra 2L
e o 2W
3L
m d
2L
ewe
2L
3W
n
2L
t 2L
Can you score exactly 50 points
with this rack?
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
1
13
FEZPITI
14
17
11 12
17
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Given form (6)
Upper arm muscle (6)
Scene with still figures (7)
Confused sounds (5)
Man's name (5)
Fast-moving stream (7)
Eg, sable or mink (3)
Unit of heat (5)
Danish currency (3)
17 Authoritarian system (7)
19 Fight, argument (3-2)
21 Listlessness (5)
22 Body after death (7)
24 Alternative movement (3,3)
25 Underpants (6)
10
What is the elusive triple word
play with this rack?
25
Across
9
APEFOLK
4
1
8
3W
4
5
24
7
14
9
17
1
4
9
10
11
13
14
15
16
7
16
11
23
22
24
19
17
20
11
22
20
7
20
5
21
25
P
26
24
20
5
4
M
11
20
1
12
19
I
8
11
14
Scrabble ® Challenge No 1948
14
32
16
11
30
21
6
27
17
23
7
7
17
7
12
11
Fill the blank squares so that each row and column contains
all the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5. Use the given numbers and
the symbols that tell you if a number in the square is larger
(>) or smaller (<) than the number next to it.
Fill the grid so that
each block adds up
to the total of the
block above or to
the left. You can
only use digits 1-9
and you must not
use the digit twice
in one block. The
same digit may
occur more than
once in a row or
column, but must
be in a separate
block.
11
28
4
34
© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7432
the times | Thursday August 31 2017
15
1GT
MindGames
White: Gyula Breyer
Black: Geza Maroczy
Berlin 1920
Colle System
1 d4 Nf6 2 Nf3 e6 3 Nbd2 d5 4 e3
c5 5 c3 Nbd7 6 Bd3 Be7 7 0-0 0-0
8 Ne5 Nxe5 9 dxe5 Nd7 10 f4 f5
11 exf6 Rxf6 12 e4 Nf8
Better is to aim for counterplay
with 12 ... c4 13 Bc2 Nc5.
13 Nf3 Ng6 14 e5 Rf8 15 Qc2 Qe8
16 c4 d4 17 h4 Kh8 18 g3 Rg8 19
h5
This actually helps Black to get
organised on the kingside. 19 Ng5
was very strong as 19 ... Bxg5 20
hxg5 is terrible for Black.
________
árD DqD i]
à0pD D 4p]
ß DbDpD D]
ÞD 0 ) g ]
Ý DP0 D D]
ÜD DBD DQ]
ÛP) D D H]
Ú$ G DRI ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
3/4
EASY
61
–5
MEDIUM
86
x 3 + 47
128
x7
HARDER
OF IT
+1/2
OF IT
1/2
+4
OF IT
80%
OF IT
– 78 x 2
+ 11 x 3
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Breyer
Tartakower
Bogoljubow
Réti
Mieses
Maroczy
Tarrasch
Saemisch
Leonhardt
Spielmann
2
0
*
½
1
0
½
1
½
0
0
3
1
½
*
½
½
½
0
0
½
0
5
0
1
½
1
*
½
1
0
½
0
6
1
½
½
1
½
*
0
½
0
½
7
1
0
1
1
0
1
*
0
½
0
8
½
½
1
0
1
½
1
*
½
½
9
1
1
½
0
½
1
½
½
*
1
10
1
1
1
½
1
½
1
½
0
*
6½
5½
5½
5
4½
4½
4½
3½
3
2½
________
á D 4 gkD] Winning Move
à0bD hpD ]
ß 0 DpGpD] White to play. This position is from
Helsingor 2017.
ÞD D ) Hp] Greeuw-Laustsen,
Black has countered White’s kingside
Ý D 4 D D] attack by creating a strong central
ÜD 1BD DQ] position. However, he is way too late.
ÛPD D )P)] How did White crash through?
Ú$ DRD I ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
See if you can spot declarer’s small
extra chance on this grand slam
deal from the 10th Bridge Forest
Trophy in Poland. West leads a
passive heart, to the nine. Now
what?
Most declarers drew trumps in
three rounds (and now the grand
slam was unmakeable). They then
cashed the king of clubs and
crossed to the ace-king of diamonds. West discarded on the second and, although the queen of
clubs unexpectedly fell under the
ace (enabling the jack to be promoted), declarer could score only
12 tricks, via five hearts, three diamonds, three clubs and the ace of
spades. Down one.
Just one declarer in the whole
field made 13 tricks (she was in
6♥ ): Dutch junior Maaike van
Ommen. She drew just two rounds
of trumps before broaching the
minors.
Leaving the ten of hearts outstanding, at trick three declarer
crossed to the king of clubs and led
back to the ace of diamonds.
When she then led the ace of
clubs, she saw East’s queen appear.
She discarded a diamond from
hand and now tried the jack of
clubs. She was delighted to see that
East did not hold the ten of hearts
and could only discard (a spade).
Declarer was able to discard a second diamond from hand on
dummy’s promoted jack of clubs. She
could then ruff a low diamond (high)
as West discarded. She crossed to
dummy’s third heart, finally drawing
West’s ten, and enjoyed the kingqueen and, crucially, a long diamond. Away went her three low
♠8 6
♥Q J 9
♦A KQ 4 3
♣A J 10
♠ Q 10
N
♥10 6 3
W E
♦5
S
♣9 8 7 5 4 3 2♠ A J 7 3
♥A K 8 7 4
♦10 6 2
♣K
S
W
– 67
1/2
x5
75%
OF IT
OF IT
+1/4
+ 773 OF
IT
3
4
23
26
6
17
7
16
15
11
12
23
10
9
3
16
14
3
10
12
14
16
4
16
3
14
Advanced
Killer Tough No 5604
30
15
20
12
N
E
1♥
Pass
2♦(1) Pass
2♠
Pass
3♥
Pass
4♦(2) Pass
4NT(3) Pass
5♣(4) Pass
5NT(5) Pass
6♣(6) Pass
7♥ (7) End
(1) Playing Two-over-one, whereby a
response at the two-level is forcing to game.
(2) Bidding out his shape, implying his
actual 5♠ -4♥ -3♦-1♣.
(3) Roman Key Card Blackwood agreeing
hearts.
(4) Zero or three of the “five aces”
(including ♥ K).
(5) Asking about kings — the specific kings
method.
(6) Showing ♣K.
(7) Can almost count 13 winners via five
hearts, five diamonds, ♠ A and ♣AK. The
“almost” refers to the five diamond tricks,
for if South does not hold ♦J, a 3-2 split
may be required.
Contract: 7♥ , Opening Lead: ♥ 3
spades from hand and that was 13
tricks and grand slam made.
The event was won by Latvia
and was, according to my source
Heather Bakhshi who finished a
very creditable eighth, a most
enjoyable occasion.
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
8
32min
7
20
22
22
16
8
1
3
8
9
9
8
7
5
2
1
9 3
7 1
2
4
8 7
6 9
9
7
8
1
7
6
3
4
5
9
2
9
4
3
8
2
5
6
7
1
5
6
1
4
9
2
8
3
7
8
3
2
4
7
8
6
1
5
9
4
9
2
3
6
8
7
1
5
6
7
8
1
5
9
4
2
3
1
3
5
2
4
7
9
8
6
6
8
4
5
3
1
7
9
2
3
1
7
2
9
8
5
6
4
9
5
2
7
6
4
1
8
3
5
6
3
8
2
9
4
1
7
7
2
9
1
4
3
8
5
6
8
4
1
6
5
7
3
2
9
2
7
6
4
8
5
9
3
1
1
9
5
3
7
2
6
4
8
4
3
8
9
1
6
2
7
5
=
24
+
=
16
=
5
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
E
N
J
O
Y
E
D
2 1 3
4 2 1
1
5 3 1
3 1 2
S
T
O
O
P
3
4 1 2
2 3 1
S S E NC E
K
I
V
OU S T
O
L
R
K
E L L OWE
G D
UMP E R
I
N
T
A S H
CA
S
L
R
R I GAM I
V
Z
F
I E T Y
F
8
3
7
2
5
6
9
4
1
1
9
2
4
8
3
7
6
5
4
6
5
7
9
1
8
3
2
6
5
4
1
7
8
2
9
3
5
6
1
8
2
7
4
9
3
8
2
9
4
3
5
6
7
1
4
7
3
1
9
6
2
8
5
3
4
5
2
1
9
8
6
7
1
1
5
3
7
8
9
2
5
4
1
6
5
4
9
6
3
2
1
8
7
2
1
3
8
4
7
6
5
9
7
8
6
5
1
9
3
2
4
2
1
7
6
4
8
5
3
9
9
8
6
5
7
3
1
2
4
1
3
2
7
8
4
9
5
6
7
5
4
9
6
2
3
1
8
6
9
8
3
5
1
7
4
2
4
7
4
2 2 2 2
2
3 2
2
10
2
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
5
3
2
1
∧
2
5
3
4
1
Set Square 1950
4
x
1
6
2
+
+
x
x
4
3
7
x
x
-
7
5
8
2
9
1
3
6
4
6
1
9
7
4
3
2
8
5
8
7
5
4
2
9
1
3
6
1
6
4
3
8
7
5
9
2
9
3
2
6
1
5
4
7
8
5
2
1
9
6
8
7
4
3
4
8
7
1
3
2
6
5
9
3
9
6
5
7
4
8
2
1
S
T
A
R
K
M
M
E
O
P
O
E
T
L
N
H
L
Y
N
X
Lexica 3896
2
5
∧
∨
3 < 4
3 < 4
5
2
4
3
8
5
6
9
1
7
Lexica 3895
3 < 4 < 5
∨
5
2 > 1
12
Suko 2017
Sudoku 9281
9
2
1
3
6
4
5
7
8
Futoshiki 2988
4
Scrabble 1947
JAMBOREE B10
down (44)
AXIOMS B9
across (71)
AMP L E
G R
X
V E R E A T
D Q O
D
BU L L
U
E
ANG L E R
L
E
T ARAC T
W R
R
F L ORA
U M C
O L I AGE
Killer 5602
19
23
9
Sudoku 9280
7
8
9
5
1
3
2
6
4
19
11
14
x
x
used in this
grid, but only
once. Can you
work out their
= 3 positions in the
grid so that
each of the six
different sums
We’ve
= 41 works?
put 2 numbers
in to help you.
Do the sums
left to right and
top to bottom
Codeword 3115
1 2 4
3 1 2
5 6
8
8 5 9 7
6 7 8 9
5
7 1
9 7 8
8 9 6
Cell Blocks 2998
17
7
+
2
21
+
x
18
23
= 32 from 1-9 are
+
-
KenKen 4107
23
All the digits
x
x
Killer 5601
13
4 2 2
6
2
Divide the grid
into blocks.
Each block
must be square
or rectangular
and must
contain the
number of
cells indicated
by the number
inside it.
Solutions
2
5
6
9
7
1
3
4
8
8
5
♠K 9 5 4 2
♥6 2
♦J 9 8 7
♣Q 6
6 4
+
Sudoku 9279
11
4
2
Kakuro 1947
4
5
13
10
5min
8
8
9
2
Set Square No 1951
Killer Gentle No 5603
7
4
4
Yesterday’s answers
bond, boon, boot, bound, bout,
bouton, budo, donut, doubt, dout,
noob, obtund, onto, outbound, outdo,
tondo, toon, udon, undo, unto
Dealer: South, Vulnerability: Neither
Teams
SQUARE
IT
From these letters, make words of
four or more letters, always including
the central letter. Answers must be in
the Concise Oxford Dictionary,
excluding capitalised words, plurals,
conjugated verbs (past tense etc),
adverbs ending in LY, comparatives
and superlatives.
How you rate 12 words, average;
16, good; 23, very good; 31, excellent
17
Bridge Andrew Robson
–9
Polygon
27 Ng4
Breyer errs. Better was 27 Bxg5
Rxg5+ 28 Ng4, with one point
being that 28 ... h5 loses to 29 Kh2
Rxg4 30 Rf8+! Qxf8 31 Qxh5+.
27 ... h5
This loses, much as in the previous note. 27 ... Qe7, planning ...
Rag8, is highly unclear.
28 Rf8+! Qxf8 29 Qxh5+ Kg8 30
Bxg5 Qf3 31 Nf6+ Kf8 32 Qxf3
Black resigns
After 32 ... Rxg5+ 33 Kf2 Bxf3
34 Nh7+ White will be a piece up.
4
1
0
½
*
0
0
0
1
1
½
OF IT
x 3 + 765 x 2 – 982
Berlin 1920
1
*
1
0
0
1
0
0
½
0
0
3/4
÷6
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Today I give Gyula Breyer’s most
impressive tournament victory in
crosstable form, plus one of his
wins from that event, where the
opposition constituted an illustrious field. Tragically, Breyer died
the following year when on the
verge of a breakthrough that
could have established him in the
same bracket as such grandmasters as Aron Nimzowitsch, Richard Réti, and Savielly Tartakower.
19 ... Nf8 20 g4 g6 21 hxg6 Nxg6
22 g5 Bd7 23 Qh2 Rg7 24 Qh3
Bc6 25 Nh2 Nxe5
Excellent. If White is given time
for Ng4, Black will be suffocated.
26 fxe5 Bxg5
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Breyer remembered
Cell Blocks No 2999
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
8
x
x
9
Quiz 1 Piano 2 Beachy Head 3 Ernest Cline
4 Paul Keating 5 John Zorn 6 Ultraviolet (UV)
7 Lord Ashcroft 8 Pigeons and doves 9 Royal
College of Music 10 Brahma 11 7 Up 12 Second
Punic War 13 Snow Patrol 14 Gustaaf Deloor
15 Chris Ofili
H
A
R
I
N
S
E
T
D
J
U
U
G
Y
P
D
O
L
E
N
B
L
Word watch
Tael (a) A unit of weight,
used in the Far East
Taenia (c) In ancient
Greece, a narrow
headband for the hair
Taeniacide (b) A
substance that kills
tapeworms
Brain Trainer
Easy 64; Medium 455;
Harder 9,040
Chess 1 Qxh5! gxh5
2 Bh7 mate
31.08.17
MindGames
Mild No 9282
Fill the grid so that
every column, every
row and every 3x3
box contains the
digits 1 to 9.
Word watch
by Josephine
Balmer
Tael
a A unit of weight
b Flighty
c An Irish saga
Taenia
a A bone disease
b Weariness
c A headband
Taeniacide
a A mass fainting fit
b A worm pesticide
c Stifling a yawn
Answers on page 15
Fiendish No 9283
8
9
1
1
7
5
1 6 3 2
5
2
9 7
6
8 3
1
5
4 6
2
3
9 2
8
1 5 3
For interactive
Sudoku puzzles, visit
thetimes.co.uk/puzzles
1
Super fiendish No 9284
3
4
3 6 1 5
7
2
1 4
6 5
4 8
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
6 7
8
4
5
1 8 6 2
7
9
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight
to receive four clues for any of today’s puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
The Times Daily Quiz
by Olav Bjortomt The Times Quiz Book
REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
11 Charles Leiper
Grigg created the
formula for which
lemon-lime soft
drink in 1929?
1 The name of which
musical direction
means “soft” in Italian?
2 The Belle Tout
lighthouse is located at
which chalk headland
close to Eastbourne?
3 Ready Player One
is the 2011 sci-fi
debut novel by which
US author?
4 Which Labor
politician succeeded
Bob Hawke as prime
minister of Australia
in 1991?
5 In Lambeth: Visions
from the Walled Garden
of William Blake is a
2013 album by which
US saxophonist?
12 The Siege of
Saguntum (219BC)
triggered which war?
15
6 Which form of
electromagnetic
radiation is
responsible for the
formation of vitamin
D in most land
vertebrates?
7 The private
collection of which
billionaire Tory peer
contains over onetenth of all Victoria
Crosses awarded?
8 The word “columbine”
refers to which birds?
9 The buildings of
which conservatoire
are opposite the Royal
Albert Hall on Prince
Consort Road?
10 Which four-faced
creator god in
Hinduism is also
known as Svayambhu
(self-born)?
13 Which band has
had Top 10 hits with
Run, You’re All I Have
and Chasing Cars?
The Times Quiz Book by
Olav Bjortomt is out now.
To order your copy visit
harpercollins.co.uk or call
0844 576 8120. Also available
from all good bookshops.
Yesterday’s
Quick
Cryptic
solution
No 907
14 Which Belgian
cyclist won the first
two editions of the
Vuelta a España in
1935 and 1936?
15 Which British artist
is pictured?
Answers on page 15
The Times Quick Cryptic No 908
1
2
3
4
5
8
19
22
7
11
12
13
14
17
15
18
20
21
23
I C K S
N
I
T
H
N Y A L A
L
E
G
X
N
A L L MA R K
F
E
V
I
A T ON E
F
R
I
R Y
A D AM
E
P
A
E
S P A NN E R
C
S
C
I
ON S B E L T
Follow The Times Crossword
Editor @timescrosswords
by Tracy
9
10
16
6
CHOP S T
R
L
P
O L D B I L
V
W S
H
DUC T
H
P
F L OUR
O O
I
D E L I V E
T
I
D
L A I RD
E
E
E
OR I
Across
1 Box free? Not quite (4)
4 Hide vase, cracked — glue
provided (8)
8 Offensive involved Nelson
aboard it (8)
9 Male unwell in factory (4)
10 Begrudge diplomat short of
nothing (4)
11 Sink full of large fish (8)
12 One employed to entertain
man in charge is hand-picked
(6)
14 Discord in street, widespread
(6)
16 Recording device in jet pack
(5,3)
18 Travel free heading East (4)
19 Orchestra’s leader invested in
gong? Blow me! (4)
20 Source of fruit provided by
old park keeper, Yosemite,
primarily (8)
22 Food source for so long (8)
23 Story’s end read aloud (4)
Down
2 Last character to be driven
out of Cornish town as
punishment (7)
3 Heath brought up on foremost
of yachts, very spacious (5)
4 Mimic’s short top (3)
5 Taken by surprise as bowler
was? (3,3,3)
6 Group studying remains in
ruin (7)
7 Put a price on uranium
discovered in glen (5)
11 Snapped after apartment
cleaned out (4,5)
13 Hide and seek? Not half, on
Greek island (7)
15 Wild about editor describing
US government? (7)
17 Sign made by one supporter
following Liverpool’s first (5)
18 Shock that head is leaving? I’ll
say! (5)
21 Quite a couple of lines (3)
3
3
2
6
8
6 7
4 3 2
1
7 5
1
4
9 4 8
4 7
5
5
4
8
9
3 2
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