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The Times Times 2 - 9 May 2018

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May 9 | 2018
M
Hail Mary!
ly
n
e
v
a
e
h
d
n
a
s
r
e
n
in
s
,
s
t
Sain
bodies at the Met Gala
Jennifer Lopez in Balmain,
Rihanna in Maison Margiela and
Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton
2
1G T
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
times2
Lord! What happened at the
AMAL CLOONEY
ANNE HATHAWAY
KIM KARDASHIAN
Rihanna came as the Pope, Madonna
sang Like a Prayer. This was A-list style
at its ridiculous best, says Hilary Rose
I
f you want to put on a show,
there are worse places to look
for inspiration than the Vatican:
old men in long pink frocks,
chanting, in a fug of incense, in
the most exquisitely OTT chapel
in the world. And so it was that
this year’s Met Gala, the annual
fashion fest held at the Metropolitan
Museum of Art in New York, took as
its theme “Heavenly Bodies: Fashion
and the Catholic Imagination” because
fashion doesn’t do anything so vulgar
as fancy dress, it has galas with
themes. Previous themes at this
particular shindig have included punk,
China and “Poiret: King of Fashion”,
which confused me until I realised it
was Poiret, not Poirot.
For the less imaginative guests the
general idea seems to have been
“stick a crucifix on it and
you’re done”. At the other
end of the spectrum
there’s Rihanna,
who came as the
Pope. In a busty,
leggy, sequinned extravaganza
complete with mitre, by John
Galliano for Maison Margiela, she was
enough to make a cardinal
choke on his plainchant,
assuming that cardinals do
plainchant, which they very
well may not.
Whatever. As a co-host
of the event, with
Donatella Versace and
Amal Clooney, Rihanna
proved that just because
fashion is ridiculous it
doesn’t mean it isn’t
compelling. Exhibit B
AMANDA SEYFRIED
for that theory is
Clooney, who chose a
gown by a British
designer, Richard
Quinn, that is most
kindly described as
inexplicable. Clooney
usually nails it, and the
constituent parts of this were fine:
silver corset,
extravagantly
embroidered skirt and tailored navy
trousers. What they were doing in the
same outfit, though, is another matter.
Clooney pulled it off — just —
because she’s stunningly beautiful and
only seems to get more so since
turning 40 and becoming a mother of
twins. This is annoying, but we will
call it the “being married to George
Clooney” effect.
Bella Hadid proved the truth of the
wise saying, which I’ve just made up,
that only supermodels should wear
PVC. Her sister, Gigi, got a quite
different memo and came dressed
as a cross between a bird of paradise
and a Tiffany lampshade. Rosie
Huntington-Whiteley flew the flag for
Devon girls done good in ethereal
Ralph Lauren with a halo.
the times | Wednesday May 9 2018
3
1G T
times2
Met ball, fashion’s high altar
COVER AND BELOW: GETTY IMAGES
MADONNA
SARAH JESSICA
PARKER
KATE BOSWORTH
GIGI HADID
Turning to the Kardashians, as we
inevitably must, Kris Jenner looked
like a Christmas tree and Kylie Jenner
would be in line for some stick for her
bizarre outfit except that she gave
birth three months ago and thus gets
kudos for turning up at all.
Kim Kardashian’s molten-gold
Versace dress looked absolutely
incredible on her, although I do wish
she’d ditch the hair extensions. Her
half-sister, Kendall Jenner, wins my
favourite person of the night award.
Why? Because alone in a sea of sullen
pouts she smiled, actually properly
smiled, which is something fashion
people never do. Maybe looking
happy is uncool or unfashionable, but
a smiling Kendall looked properly
pretty, wearing a jumpsuit by a brand
called Off-White that was, confusingly,
white. Fashion can be strange like that.
Madonna wore Jean Paul Gaultier
and looked exactly as she did when
she first wore Jean Paul Gaultier in
the early Nineties. Anna Wintour
reigned supreme in Chanel couture.
Gigi Hadid was a
cross between a
bird of paradise
and a lampshade
Rumoured to be chairing her last Met
Gala, she proved that if you’re wearing
cream Chanel couture everything will
probably be OK as long as you stay
off the red wine and those crispy duck
canapés you have to dip in hoisin
sauce, and definitely avoid those
mini-burgers that may drip. Although
thinking about it, you don’t get to be
as thin as Wintour by knowing your
way round a canapé selection.
The evening was not without its
fashion fails. Cara Delevingne went
encased in a Dior cage; Miley Cyrus
looked droopy in Stella McCartney.
Kate Bosworth came as the bride, in a
strapless meringue complete with veil,
presumably because strapless wedding
dresses always go down so well in
Catholic churches. Katy Perry looked
ridiculous and Sarah Jessica Parker
got over-excited and put a pergola on
her head. Ariana Grande is young
enough and pretty enough to carry
off anything, which was just as well.
Anne Hathaway was not so lucky, in
scarlet Valentino that wore her rather
than the other way round. Frances
STELLA
MAXWELL
McDormand’s dress and general
demeanour were presumably ironic,
aimed at showing that she’s a great
actress, which she is, and above all of
this fashion nonsense, which she isn’t.
If she were, she would have been
washing her hair that night.
If I were a devout Roman Catholic,
I might be a bit miffed that my religion
was being used as a theme for a
fashion show. Then again, frock-based
publicity courtesy of the Met Gala is
as good as it gets, and the Catholic
church could use some good publicity.
If it takes Rihanna dressed as the Pope
to generate it, well, if I were a cardinal
I’d be inclined to shrug and think:
“C’est la vie.” And if all else fails, the
ceiling of the Sistine Chapel might
help to take their mind off things.
The
T fashion editor’s view W
4
1G T
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
times2
mes2
GETTY IMAGES
KATY PERRY
EMILY RATAJKOWSKI
Blake Lively
ZOË KRAVITZ
Awful party, great fashion show
What the fashion
editor saw . . .
‘I
am never going again. It was
so un-fun. It was boiling. It
was too crowded. I did not
enjoy it at all.” It sounds like
the kind of gripe associated
with a bank holiday spent
in Ikea — in fact it was
Gwyneth Paltrow’s 2013
verdict on the celebrity jamboree
known as the Met Gala.
She may have been the first to break
ranks, but others have since chimed in.
Amy Schumer said that the 2016 event
“felt like a punishment”; Lena Dunham
spoke of the “crazy countdown to
when we could escape”; Tina Fey
vividly dubbed Anna Wintour’s
pride and joy “a jerk parade . . . Every
jerk from every walk of life is there
wearing, like, some stupid thing.”
What makes it allegedly so dreary?
For starters you have to be very rich or
influential to make the invitation list
— and you’ll still have to pay between
$30,000 and $50,000 a ticket. Those
who don’t pay are generally there as a
designer’s guest, which means singing
for one’s supper by wearing the clothes
and non-stop posing for photographs
(the popped-out leg; the perilous
halfway-up-the-stairs shot; the sultry
gaze back over one shoulder etc).
Yet what the event really involves, as
far as can be gathered from the leaks,
is an awful lot of waiting about. It’s
said that Wintour decides in what
order the guests may walk down the
red carpet and where they may sit for
dinner (“the closer to Wintour, the
closer to God”, as the New York Post
puts it). So guests are tired, bored and
being confronted with their relative
importance or lack of it, and very little
fun seems to be on offer. Last year a
minor scandal unfolded when the
Department of Health learnt that a
rebel group of celebrities had gathered
in the museum’s bathrooms to smoke.
All of this explains why this year
hardly anyone of note attended. Not
really! It’s hard to remember a year
that has caused more of a publicity
frenzy than 2018, with a theme we can
paraphrase as “sexy Catholicism”. Not
only that, but most of its critics slope
back eventually; Paltrow returned in
2017, and this year so did Dunham.
The model Chrissy Teigen and the
comedian Sarah Silverman were
among those who spent the evening
on social media complaining of fomo.
What is it that keeps stars queueing
for what is reportedly the calendar’s
most tiresome social? We can assume
that the Mean Girls-ish stamp of
approval from fashion’s high priestess
plays a huge role. Attending the Met
Gala is like showing up for the school
bully’s birthday party: you don’t expect
to enjoy it, but you’re pathetically
grateful to be invited. Being snapped
on those famous stairs offers a
legitimacy: Sarah Jessica Parker,
Madonna, Katy Perry, you’re all still
culturally relevant — Wintour says so.
Then there are the flashbulbs, the
memes and the front-page photos that
follow. Who in the celebrity world can
resist such glamour, such an enormous
injection of attention, such a turbocharged ego boost in exchange for one
exhausting day? The opulence of the
Catholic church claims to be a tribute
to God; at Monday’s event that golden
embroidery was a tribute to fame. You
can’t replicate that experience at Ikea.
Hattie Crisell
the times | Wednesday May 9 2018
5
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times2
And finally the men . . .
I
t’s so frustrating when
one spends weeks
deliberating over one’s
outfit for a special event
only to be upstaged by
one’s partner. Have
sympathy then for Elon
Musk — go on, try. The
46-year-old tech billionaire
46
arrived
at the Met Gala in
ar
a white
jacket and shirt with
w
a black
collar peeking
b
through,
in a nod to the
th
clerical
dog collar — clever.
cle
Alas,
Al all eyes were on his
new
ne girlfriend, the Canadian
electropop
artist Grimes.
ele
In that moment the dog
collar
was forgotten.
co
GRIMES AND
Suddenly
we were bestowed
Su
ELON MUSK
with
wi a new favourite
unlikely
celebrity couple,
un
the
th
h like of which we
haven’t
seen since Bo
haa
Derek
and Aidan from
De
D
Sex
Se and the City.
To be fair to Musk, men
at the Met Gala are rarely
recognised
for their
re
sartorial
choices — too
sar
many
ma unimaginative black
suits
su and not enough razzledazzle.
There were several
da
on Monday who had made
no discernible effort to meet
the
th dress code, but
succeeded
in looking
su
fantastic
anyway by dint of
fan
being
fantastically
be
handsome
men — Idris
ha
Elba,
El Alexander Skarsgard
TOM BRADY
and
an Colin Firth, for example.
AND GISELE
The
Th last, in his defence, is
probably
preoccupied with
pr
other
oth things, such as the
charging
last week of Marco
ch
Brancaccia,
the journalist
Br
who
wh once had a fling with
Firth’s
wife, Livia Giuggioli,
Fir
and
an is accused of stalking her.
Perhaps
Firth didn’t have the
Pe
brain
space to look into how
br
one
on sews a gem-encrusted
papal cape on to a tux.
pa
With just a little more
W
effort, though,
he could have been
effort
th
one of those famous men who
volunteers to act as an accessory
to his wife, wearing some minor
flourish that complements her
extravagant outfit. The upsettingly
good-looking couple Tom Brady
and Gisele Bündchen were the best
example this year, thanks to their
co-ordinated Versace: she wore a
draped golden gown, he a black suit
embellished with matching golden
embroidery. Together they made
for a very opulent Barbie and Ken.
Those men who want column
inches next year should learn
from Jared Leto. Falling into the
Gucci camp, Leto posed with his
fellow clothes horse Lana Del Rey.
She wore a jewelled halo adorned
with blue feathers and a heart
pierced with multiple daggers,
which, had she stood next to
Skarsgard or Firth, would have come
across as a Very Big Look Indeed.
Not content to be upstaged, however,
JARED LETO
Leto had accessorised his ornately
embroidered stole with a crown of
thorns, flowing locks and a thick
beard. It was an expert lesson in PR:
if you’re invited to a Catholic-themed
party, why wear a dog collar when
you can do a passable impression of
the big man himself? HC
Götterdämmerung!
Have you seen the price
of booze at the opera?
Carol Midgley
E
nglish National Opera
stands accused of elitism
after banning audiences
from taking food and
drink into the London
Coliseum, partly to stop
people from smuggling
gin and vodka in water
bottles like common skanks (my
words, not theirs).
“So what?” you might say. The last
time I went to see a band the heavies
on the door made me chuck my water
bottle into a bin outside, which was
annoying since it was full of top-grade
meths (just kidding: it was lighter fuel).
But here’s the rub. The ban reportedly
applies only to people coming to see
musicals and pop concerts. Those
attending opera, dance and classical
performances are allowed to bring in
their soft drinks and snacks. So the
message, if I may generalise crudely,
seems to be: ballet-goers can be
trusted, musical-goers can’t. Someone
claiming to work front of house at the
London Coliseum told The Stage that
they found the procedure in which
customers are forced to bin any food
and drink before entering “disgusting
and humiliating”.
We’ll return to this in a minute
because there’s another more
blindingly obvious question: why do
people need to eat and drink
throughout a musical, or an opera, or
anything in the first place? Why must
they constantly be chomping and
grazing like Rough Fell sheep? If 6st
ballerinas are contorting themselves
tirelessly on stage then the least we,
sitting on our arses in the stalls, can do
is to lay off the wine gums.
It’s only two or three hours — how
about we try to just go without? I’m
not a doctor, but I’m told that this
probably won’t result in death,
although you may experience that rare
phenomenon known as “a mild
stomach rumble”. An outright food
ban for all events might even be a
good thing given that two thirds of the
population are overweight or obese,
probably because we’re never more
than 2ft away from a “snacking
opportunity”. Last year passengers on
a flight from Fuerteventura to London
had a meltdown because there were
no sandwiches, just nuts and biscuits.
A prank
Russell can
crow over
A round of applause for
the actor Russell
Crowe, who recently
sold off his personal
effects in an auction
called “The Art of
Suncream
is not for
down there
Expecting Brits to survive for a few
hours on nuts and biscuits is
apparently wicked and inhumane.
But I suspect it is not health or
rowdiness (which was reportedly an
issue) that is uppermost in theatre
bosses’ minds. I suspect that deep
down it is money. Because if you’re
sneaking in gin in an Evian bottle
you’re not buying at the bar. I may be
able to help here. A quick perusal of
the London Coliseum’s menu reveals
that a 50ml shot of vodka or gin costs
£9.50, not including mixer. A cheese
platter/sharing plate for two is £17.50.
This might explain why people are
keen to bring their own.
Theatre management is clearly not
averse to us getting squiffy because
when we buy a drink on arrival the
staff immediately bellow, “Order for
the interval now, order for the interval
now, order for the interval now!” so
that at half-time you’re rewarded with
a nasty warm white wine sitting atop a
square of paper.
The main thing this story tells me is
that musical-goers are showing their
age. Millennials solved the problem of
sneaking booze into concerts years
ago. You can buy flasks disguised as
hairbrushes, umbrellas, handsanitisers or tampons. No bouncer will
ever challenge a tampon, although I
realise that doesn’t help the menfolk
much. Just look on Amazon under
“smuggle your booze” if you don’t
believe it. But it didn’t come from me.
Divorce”. The TV
comedian John Oliver
bought Crowe’s
jockstrap from the film
Cinderella Man for
$7,000, then donated it
as an exhibit to one of
America’s last
Blockbuster stores.
Crowe’s retort to this
prank was magnificent.
He used the $7,000 to
open a ward at the
Australia Zoo wildlife
hospital with a plaque
reading: “The John
Oliver Koala
Chlamydia Ward”.
Oliver conceded that he
had been outplayed,
saying: “That may
honestly be the greatest
thing I’ve ever seen.”
You’re probably
wondering how so
many koalas have an
STD that sounds like
the name of a Sloane
Sunny days are here
again, so you’ll no
doubt be wanting to
know if you can legally
sunbathe naked in
your garden. Nothing
says “summer”, after
all, like a scorched
scrotum or a lobsterred lady’s love area.
And the answer
appears to be — yes,
you can, provided you
don’t intend to cause
offence to your
neighbours. But how
would you know? You’ll
find out when they are
already outraged or you
must knock on the
door informing them
that your genitals will
shortly be on show,
which risks them
arranging chairs at the
window and telling
their mates to come
round with their opera
specs. So tricky.
A married couple
from Newcastle
received an angry letter
this week from a
neighbour objecting to
them walking round
naked in their house.
“We are sick of seeing
[your] big bum, big
boobs and little willy,”
said the missive, which
was more hurtful to
husband than wife.
You couldn’t pay me
to sunbathe naked.
I’m sure having a
tanned pubis is lovely
and you could admire
it all day, but I’m sorry:
there are some places
Ambre Solaire should
never go.
Ranger. Who knew
they were such sluts?
No wonder they sleep
all day if they’re having
that much sex. But,
seriously, chlamydia is
grim news for the
animals, causing
blindness, infertility
and even death. So well
done for saving koalas
from STDs, Russell
Crowe. A very BIG
CLAP to you.
6
1G T
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
fashion
Trophy jackets:
bright, light
and fabulously
flashy at night
It’s rarely warm enough to sit out all evening
bare-shouldered — which is why you need a
show-stopping cover-up, says Hattie Crisell
Printed jacket,
£118, Bl-nk
at anthropologie.com
Jacquard jacket, £335
tarajarmon.com
Tweed jacket, £345
uk.sandro-paris.com
A
couple of summers
ago, planning a trip
to Greece to see a
friend, I fell into
a packing crisis over
whether or not
to take a jacket.
“Are you sure I
don’t need one?” I kept checking with
him while I moved things in and out
of my suitcase. “Because won’t it get
quite chilly in the evenings? What if
we’re sitting outside after dinner?
Surely there’ll be a nip in the air?”
He was baffled.
Summer coats may be an alien
concept in many countries, but here
they are compulsory. Even in the most
clement parts of the UK, even in the
balmiest of heatwaves, and even with
our most optimistic British
thermostats in play (“14 degrees? Shall
I get the barbecue out?”), there are
very few days of the year on which
you won’t need something round your
shoulders at least in the evening. And
none of them is likely to fall in May.
So a light jacket or coat is called for.
And while we tend to think of
outerwear as a practicality — a
sideshow to the clothes you really
want to show off — there’s a case
to be made for asking a bit more of
it. Maybe you have a special event
coming up that will be spent largely
outdoors (in my experience every
British wedding includes at least an
hour of standing around outside,
regardless of the weather forecast).
Maybe, like me, you spend half of
every weekend running from place
to place, with little opportunity to take
your jacket off, and wouldn’t mind one
that falls into the minimum-effort,
maximum-fabulousness camp.
I can’t be the only person thinking
along these lines, because the
outerwear available on the high street
has really upped its game. For spring
and summer, trophy jackets fall into
various categories: some bright and
tweedy, some printed or embroidered,
some slinky, but all unapologetic
show-offs.
Mango has a particularly strong
offering. Its pink pigskin leather jacket
(£89.99) could play smart or casual as
required; ditto for a white long-line
blazer with a colourful flower print
(£49.99). A quilted hip-length jacket
with bow fastenings is reversible, so
you can have a graphic blue foliage
print one day and green the next
(£79.99). And the brand also has
a series of robe-like kaftans in
various fabrics (£59.99 to £99.99, all
mango.com). I know this kind of thing
as daywear makes people nervous —
the idea of it is a bit “queueing at
the corner shop in my dressing gown
and slippers” — yet whenever I see
a woman wearing one over trousers
I think it looks so elegant
and refreshing.
Zara has more options in the realm
of wraps and robes, including a deep
green cover-up with peacocks
embroidered on its back (£49.99). Most
intriguing is something it’s calling a
“blazer-style dress”, in silky paisley
with a sash belt (£79.99); since it barely
grazes the thighs, I’d be more likely to
wear it as a blazer-style blazer with
trousers, but that’s just me.
For something tougher, a bit less
straightforwardly pretty, Zara has a
woven biker jacket in a patchwork of
reds and pinks (£79.99) or a bomber
jacket printed with colourful tigers
(£49.99, all zara.com). Sound a bit
much? Then visit Zara’s higher-quality
sister label Uterqüe (online only in the
UK). I like the sporty emerald-green
parka (£150) and an embellished black
biker jacket (£430, both uterque.com).
If you’re surprised at the price of the
latter, I’ll defend it by saying that not
only is it lovely leather, but it’s a real
showpiece, hand-embroidered along
the shoulders and arms with 3D
sequinned flowers in white, green
and pink.
There’s a lot of pink around, as it
happens. I’m partial to the Danish
brand Baum und Pferdgarten’s
Coco jacket, £325
essentiel-antwerp.com
the times | Wednesday May 9 2018
7
1G T
fashion
Linen is back — and this time it’s OK
if it looks creased By Natalie Hammond
Quilted reversible
jacket, £79.99
mango.com
Two-tone parka, £150
uterque.com
Top, £252;
trousers, £378
threegraceslondon.com
mad metallic Britany biker (£219,
baumundpferdgarten.com). For an
arguably more grown-up look, see the
French label Tara Jarmon’s cotton
jacquard jacket (£335, tarajarmon.com),
which is easy-breezy enough for
daytime, but beautifully cut.
If your style is more classic, you
can’t really go wrong with a Parisianstyle cropped jacket, which also has
the advantage of being a flattering
length regardless of your height.
Mango has a white one that’s studded
and embroidered in blue (£79.99,
mango.com); at the more expensive
end of the range, see Weekend Max
Mara’s red Niger jacket (£290), Isabel
Marant Étoile’s Hustin quilted floral
one (£430, both matchesfashion.com),
or Sandro’s spearmint-green jacket
with a sequinned parrot on the breast
pocket (£345, uk.sandro-paris.com).
Essentiel Antwerp’s tweedy Coco
jacket is jauntily frayed around the
edges (£325, essentiel-antwerp.com).
There really is something for
everyone and no excuse for being dull.
Now go forth and find a jacket that is
lightweight enough for a hot summer,
warm enough for a British summer
and gorgeous enough to be the main
event — and I’ll keep my fingers
crossed that there’s at least a day or
two when you don’t need it.
Instagram: @hattiecrisell
Outerwear
is usually
seen as
practical,
but there
is a case
for asking
a bit
more of it
U
tter the word “linen”
to a circle of female
friends and you’re
likely to be met with
ferocious comments
about creasing. They
have a point.
Remember the white
linen palazzo pants that were so
ubiquitous in the Nineties? They were
borderline see-through and crinkled
on contact. Yet this summer linen is
having a moment and what’s on offer
may make you overlook the c-word.
The high street is full of the stuff:
Zara and Mango have dedicated linen
collections on their websites with
more than 200 options between them.
There are trouser suits that are sexily
oversized, midiskirts that pull in your
waist, and embroidered peasant
blouses that can be tucked into smart
culottes for work, or frayed jeans at
the weekend. The colours are more
cheerful, the silhouettes more playful.
After 36,000 years of flax fibres being
turned into linen, it’s about time too.
One of the best ways to reacquaint
yourself with linen while skirting the
problem of creases is to opt for busy
prints. JW Anderson’s collaboration
with Uniqlo has a patchwork skirt in
panels of stripy blues and greys
(£49.90, uniqlo.com), while Mango’s
hits the mid-calf and is patterned like
a candy cane (£35.99, mango.com).
Zara’s tailored shorts come printed
with banana leaves and other jungle
flora (£25.99, zara.com).
I defy the beadiest of eyes to detect
rumples on any of the above, although
it might be worth giving them a spritz
Jumpsuit, £199
intropia.com
Mididress, £39.99
zara.com
of starch spray when you iron, just
don’t be put off, it’s unisex and a
to be on the safe side.
slouchier fit will look far more
Note, however, that linen doesn’t
effortless than something strictly
have to be pressed to perfection to
tailored (jacket, £79.95, trousers,
look decent. Catherine Johnson, the
£49.95, gap.co.uk).
designer behind the resort and
Of course, linen isn’t restricted to
sleepwear label Three Graces
the casual section of your
London, says that her linen pieces
wardrobe. It’s breathable and
are supposed to look relaxed,
feels airy against skin, so it’s
which means natural crumples
ideal for garden parties and
are encouraged. “I enjoy the
weddings during heatwave
textured surface that you can
season. The Ferrers dress from
achieve from twisting
Three Graces London
garments to pack them. The
comes in the lightest of
Arlene skirt and Almost a
blush pinks and is a great
Honeymoon cover-up look
option for the sunburnbetter after this treatment
prone, thanks to its
in my opinion.” The latter
sweeping length and
is a spearmint-green dress
covered shoulders (£420,
with the kind of gathered
threegraceslondon.com).
neckline and wafty fit that
Zara’s chilli-red combo of
is made for lounging by a
a wraparound blouse and
sun-glazed pool (£398,
wide-leg trousers just
threegraceslondon.com).
needs an extravagantly
Speaking of wafty, there
sized straw hat to look
are a crop of white linen
sensational (£29.99 each,
dresses that have a
zara.com). Intropia has a
whisper of Laura Fairlie’s
brilliant linen option for
wardrobe in The Woman
when temperatures cool
Mididress, £148
in White about them.
in the evening — an
freepeople.com
Mango’s has a lace yoke
elongated blazer in beige
and romantically puffed
that will complement
sleeves that clasp just
any coloured outfit
below the elbow
underneath and comes
(£79.99, mango.com).
with a belt (£273,
Rejina Pyo’s Irene frock
intropia.com).
has a lace-up waist for a
One thing you should
little 19th-century flavour
resist is digging out
(£595, net-a-porter.com).
those white palazzos.
Gap’s linen suit in sand or
They belong in a
navy is shown on male
recycling bin, grass
models on the website, but
stains and all.
8
1G T
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
arts
‘Singing Bowie’s songs
to him was one of my
most sublime hours’
Michael C Hall, star of Dexter and the Bowie musical Lazarus, is back on
our screens with a new missing-girl drama, Safe. He talks to Ed Potton
D
eath becomes
Michael C Hall.
There was his
groundbreaking gay
undertaker in Six Feet
Under; the serial
killer he played with
Golden Globewinning elan in Dexter; and Lazarus,
the musical in which he sang songs
about death by David Bowie, who
shuffled off this mortal coil shortly
after it opened on Broadway. Even
Bowie, when he first met Hall, asked:
“What is it with you? The death!” How
refreshing, then, to watch the first
scene of the first episode of Safe, Hall’s
new thriller series for Netflix, and see
the 47-year-old actor . . . mourning his
on-screen wife at a funeral.
Sitting in a suite in a Whitehall
hotel, sleekly dressed (of course) in
black, Hall breaks into a fruity giggle.
“Hell, why not just walk face first into
the wave of your type!” The giggling is
a good sign. If the career summary
above was all you had to go on, you’d
assume him to be North Carolina’s
answer to Ingmar Bergman. That
assumption would be reinforced by
some awkward TV interviews,
including one with Jonathan Ross that
was arctic at times. Today, though, he’s
a lot of fun: playful, flamboyantly
articulate and acutely aware that
mortality doesn’t have to be morbid.
“People often say, ‘Oh, all this
darkness,’ and yeah, there is, but I’ve
found both Six Feet Under and Dexter,
in different ways, to be very funny,”
Hall says in his sardonic drawl. The
same goes, he thinks, for Safe, in which
he plays Tom, a widower whose
teenage daughter goes missing. The
story is by the crime writer Harlan
Coben (The Five) and co-stars Marc
Warren as Tom’s best friend and
Amanda Abbington as a police
detective (how convenient!) with
whom Tom is having an affair. There’s
a druggy teenage party, a corpse in a
pool, cover-ups and twists laid upon
twists. It’s solid genre fare without the
edge of Hall’s previous hits, but there’s
a subtle subversiveness in the fact that
its setting, a gated community in an
unnamed British suburb (it was shot
around Manchester), is supposed to be
a sanctuary.
“These people are trying to choose a
home that’s safest for them and their
children, the irony being that the
danger emerges from within,” Hall
says. “We have an obsession with
safety and live in a media culture that
stokes our fear and a political culture
that exploits it. There are certainly
many dangers in the world, but I don’t
know whether they warrant the uptick
in fearmongering.”
The show also lets him have a crack
at an English accent, which he hasn’t
done since starring in David Hare’s
Skylight on Broadway in the Nineties.
It’s rather good, a kind of smooth
home counties, certainly more
Michael C Hall in
Dexter and, top, with
Amanda Abbington
in Netflix’s Safe
convincing than the soccer skills he
demonstrates in one barbecue scene.
The accent, Hall says, “was part of the
appeal, just jumping in and turning the
tables on the trend of it happening in
the other direction. The idea of
playing an Englishman was appealing.”
With his natural reserve and light
touch with dark material, he seems
rather English, I say. He smiles. “There
is something about the DNA of the
British actor that I feel an affinity
towards.” He has spent more than a
year here, what with Safe, the West
End run of Lazarus and other jobs.
Hall used the same dialect coach for
Safe who had helped him with the
tricky east coast vowels of John F
Kennedy, whom he played in the most
recent series of The Crown. That show,
he says, “was like a military operation.
The extras were just dressed to the
nines — everybody in the background
was ready for their close-up.” He
relished researching JFK, who once
claimed that his philandering was a
side-effect of the drugs he had to take
for his various ailments. A likely story,
I say. “Yeah, I know! Didn’t he ever
hear about masturbation?”
The Crown and Safe are the latest
steps in what he has described as his
“Dexorcism”, the process of shedding
his associations with Dexter Morgan,
the psychopath with a moral code (he
only killed murderers, paedophiles,
etc) that he played for eight seasons.
You can see why Hall was keen to
leave the character behind, especially
given that several real-life murderers
were thought to be obsessed with the
show. “That’s a horrifying thing to
consider,” he says gravely. “We
certainly never did the shows as an
advocation of murder or a training
manual, but yeah, if people were
looking for some sense of validation
and desperate to find it, then they may
look to Dexter and see it there.”
A key stage in his Dexorcism was
playing the title role in Hedwig and the
Angry Inch on Broadway in 2014. “A
transgender glam rocker — that really
did the trick,” he says with a smile. The
show was steeped in the androgynous
aesthetic of Seventies Bowie, says Hall.
“Hedwig owes such a debt to him.
Little did I know I was getting ready
for a ride I didn’t know about.” That
ride was Lazarus, the musical in which
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9
1G T
DAVID YEO FOR THE TIMES; GETTY IMAGES; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; BEN BLACKALL
arts
Hall won fine notices for his
expressive baritone as Thomas Jerome
Newton, the alien that Bowie played
in The Man Who Fell to Earth. Hall
was an old Broadway hand by this
point, having had his big break when
Sam Mendes cast him as the Emcee in
Cabaret in 1999. Yet none of that
prepared him for Bowie. Hall recalls
their first meeting in New York, after
he had been hired. “He definitely
came through the door, but in my
memory he just materialised. He said,
‘Thank you so much for doing this,’
which just felt absurd responding to,
‘Er, you’re welcome!’ ” Hall talked
about doing a film with Rebecca Hall,
who had been in a book club with
Bowie (that’s a high-powered book
club — I bet they didn’t do Fifty
Shades). Bowie asked which film and
Hall told him it was Christine, about
a TV reporter who killed herself on
live TV. That was when Bowie asked:
“What is it with you? The death!”
They talked about Hall singing some
songs in a lower key in the show, to
I’ve found both
Six Feet Under
and Dexter to
be very funny
save his voice. “Bowie said, ‘Ah well,
I’ve definitely lowered keys myself.’
And then he jokingly sang Changes in
a lower, crooning key [Hall slips into a
fabulous Tony Bennett-style rendition
of the song]. That was when I almost
lost consciousness.” There was another
pinch-me moment when Hall was
asked to sing. “I was keeping my wits
about me but then the opening chords
of Where Are We Now? started and my
butterflies turned to bats. And he said,
‘Now sing my songs for me!’ sending
up the absurdity of the situation, and
it was such a generous thing for him to
do. By the end of the song he was
singing the backing vocals. It was one
of the most sublime hours of my life.”
Hall met Bowie on several occasions
after that, but the last time he saw him
was at the opening night of Lazarus on
Broadway, the singer’s final public
appearance before his death a month
later. “In hindsight I can appreciate
that he was perhaps frail,” Hall says.
He’s still astonished by the way that
Bowie made his death into a work of
art with Lazarus and his final album,
Blackstar. “To realise that it was all
done with at least an awareness of
the possibility — if not, towards the
end, the certainty — of his death, it’s
just awe-inspiring, the best mike drop
I’ve ever seen.”
It’s tempting to link Hall’s ease with
death to the fact that he was exposed
to it at an early age. His father,
William, who worked for IBM, died of
prostate cancer when Hall was 11,
leaving him in a two-person family in
North Carolina with his mother,
Janice, a mental health counsellor. The
experience, he says, “introduced me to
a much more ice-cold reality of death”.
In 2009 Hall was diagnosed with
Hodgkin’s lymphoma, collecting his
Golden Globe for Dexter while
wearing a cap to hide his bald head,
but he has been in remission for eight
years. Did losing his father early equip
him for that? “I would say yes and no.
It gave me an early experience, but I
think to survive it something in me
froze up. Every time tragedy visits me
in my life, a bit more melting occurs.”
There’s that Britishness again. “Yeah,
a stiff upper lip for sure. I’ve often,
somewhat jokingly, somewhat
seriously, described the atmosphere
in which I grew up as one of
anti-enthusiasm.” Another laugh. “But
I’m thankful for that because it laid
the foundation for a rebelliousness
against
that.” It
sounds a bit like
the deliciously
dysfunctional
family in Six Feet
Under, in which he played
David Fisher, one of television’s
first fully rounded gay roles. “He was
part of the fundamental fabric of the
story,” Hall says. “Not some incidental
gay character, the happy neighbour
with a small dog.”
You can’t help wondering how
all that ice-cold reality and antienthusiasm have affected Hall’s
marriages — he’s on his third, to the
writer Morgan Macgregor, after
divorcing the actresses Amy Spanger
and Jennifer Carpenter (who, slightly
weirdly, played his adoptive sister in
Switzerland, the Matterhorn
and the Glacier Express
TOUR
I N C LU D E S PRO G R AM M E O F E S CO RTED
TO U R S A N D E XC U R S I O N S
With Sophia Anne
Caruso in Lazarus in
London in 2016.
Below: in Hedwig
and the Angry Inch in
New York in 2014
EIGHT DAYS FROM
£1,149
PER PERSON
Return flights
Seven nights in three
and four-star hotels with
breakfast and dinner
Dexter). He chuckles. “I think we all,
erm, in spite of ourselves recreate
dynamics in our most intimate
relationships that mirror those with
our parents. It’s impossible not to.
What’s really tricky is when you
become aware that’s the case . . . and
then you keep doing it!”
He talks of Macgregor with palpable
warmth: “I trust her more than anyone
when it comes to her taste for
material, or good writing. For example
she read the first episode of Safe
and said, ‘I wouldn’t change a thing.’
I said, ‘I have never heard you say
that!’ ” He has no children — is that
something he and Macgregor have
talked about? “We talk about it. It’s
not something that’s imminent, but
certainly a possibility.”
For now he has plenty on his
plate, including two projects with a
political slant: a feature documentary
on the Gettysburg Address, which he
will narrate, and The Torture Report,
a movie about the treatment of
detainees in camps such as
Guantanamo Bay and Abu Ghraib,
in
i which he will play the lead
counsel
for the CIA opposite Adam
c
Driver.
He’s also the singer in a
D
band and they’re recording music.
Will they release any of it? “Yeah,
possibly.” Their influences are
“eclectic”, he says, but they definitely
include a certain Mr Bowie.
“Absolutely, his hands are in it all.” I
wouldn’t be surprised if Hall’s songs
also touched wittily on death. Write
about what you know, they say.
Safe will stream on Netflix from
tomorrow
njoy breathtaking alpine scenery, chic
mountain resorts and beautiful lakeside
towns on this tour showcasing Switzerland’s
many natural wonders. It combines three of
the world’s most spectacular railway journeys
– the Glacier Express, Bernina Express and
Centovalli Railway – with visits to Lake
Geneva and awe-inspiring views of the iconic
Matterhorn. This tour also takes us to Italy
for a scenic cruise around Lake Maggiore’s
exquisite Borromean Islands, as well as a visit
to the charming resort town of Stresa.
E
Visits to Zermatt, the iconic
Matterhorn, Montreux and
Lake Maggiore
Travel on the Glacier Express
and Bernina Express
Departures up to September, 2018
and May to September, 2019.
Call now to book, quoting KM205
0330 160 5093
thetimes.co.uk/riviera-sw
Prices based on two people sharing a twin room. Single rooms available at a supplement. Additional entrance costs may apply. Travel insurance is not included but is strongly recommended. This holiday is operated by and subject to booking conditions of Riviera Travel, ABTA V4744 ATOL 3430 protected, a company independent of Times
Newspapers Ltd. Subject to availability. Images used in conjunction with Riviera Travel. For further information please write to Riviera Travel, New Manor, 328 Wetmore Road, Burton upon Trent, Staffs, DE14 1SP quoting The Times. KM205.
10
1G T
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
arts
By Toutatis! The indomitable Gaul
who restored his country’s pride
© 2018 LES EDITIONS ALBERT RENE/GOSCINNY-UDERZO; © ANNE GOSCINNY/L’INSTITUT RENÉ GOSCINNY
As an exhibition about Asterix creator
René Goscinny opens, Oliver Kamm,
whose mother translated the books
into English, hails his genius
I
n the annals of anti-imperialist
heroes, none stands taller than
Asterix the Gaul. His exploits in
resisting Roman occupation,
with the assistance of his
inseparable friend Obelix and
a magic potion granting
superhuman strength, were first
depicted in a French comic magazine
titled Pilote in 1959. Almost 60 years
later, René Goscinny, the inventor
of the tales of the indomitable Gauls,
is celebrated in an exhibition
opening tomorrow at the Jewish
Museum in London.
Goscinny died in 1977, aged 51, yet
his works live on. His books have
sold 500 million copies and been
translated into 150 languages. Of all
his creations, the adventures of
Asterix (co-authored with the
cartoonist Albert Uderzo, who
continued with the series on his own
after Goscinny’s death))
transcend national and
cultural boundaries
and are a global
popular enthusiasm..
With original
artworks, wartime
illustrations of
Stalin and
Churchill, films,
photographs,
games and
artefacts such as
Goscinny’s typewriter,
er,
the exhibition provides
des
an insight into the works
of a giant of French popular
culture and Jewish humour
humour.
The exhibition is special to me
because I grew up with Goscinny’s
characters. My mother, Anthea Bell,
translated all of the Asterix books
from the first volume to the last but
one, over half a century. The
adventures of Asterix
didn’t appear in
English till ten years after their first
publication in France. Two British
publishers had already
rejected the books
on the grounds
that the wordplay
was untranslatable.
And so it is, in a
sense. Translating
Asterix is an
exercise in lateral
thinking. It requires
inventing new jokes
that are true to the
ethos of the originals
while alluding to
historical and cultural
themes that make sense to
a British audience and will
appeal simultaneously to
young children and scholars of
classical civilisation.
Only when my mother’s
physical
strength and
p y
cognitive powers
diminished
18 months
dimini
ago after
a stroke did
a
her career come to
an end. She has
also
al translated,
among
much else,
a
two
t other popular
French
series by
F
Goscinny: Le Petit
G
Nicolas, illustrated
Ni
by JJean-Jacque
Sempé, and Iznogoud,
Semp
by Jean
iillustrated
llustra
Tabary.
it’s above
T
abary. However,
H
all for Asterix that Goscinny is
famous,
form the
famous and these books
bo
centrepiece of the exhibition’s account
of his life and work.
Goscinny was born in Paris, near
the Panthéon, to Jewish parents of
Polish and Ukrainian origin.
The family moved to
Buenos Aires when
René was two years old;
Goscinny later wryly
recalled his pleasure that their arrival
i l
in Argentina was met with marching
bands (it happened to be a national
holiday celebration). He spent a
happy childhood away from
the national traumas of the
Nazi occupation of France.
As a young man he moved to
New York and learnt his
trade as an illustrator. He
eventually found fame
and popularity in his
native France in the
1960s and 1970s owing
primarily to his
collaboration with
Uderzo. Their
chronicles of
Asterix elevated
the medium of the
Translated into
150 languages, his
books have sold
500m copies
comic strip to something far beyond
slapstick humour.
The time and the place needed
heroes. Asterix appeared less than
15 years after the end of the Second
World War. Collective memory of the
French resistance was partly myth.
The country had been governed by
the collaborationist Vichy regime,
Asterix, Obelix and
Dogmatix. Above left:
René Goscinny with
his mother, Anna, and
elder brother, Claude.
Top right: Winston
Churchill by René
Goscinny, 1943. Left:
self-portrait, 1948
which deported
75,000
Jews and others
7
t Nazi death camps. The
to
Asterix series appealed to a
nobler sense of Gallic
history and resistance.
Hence the opening of
the book Asterix and
the Chieftain’s Shield
shows Vercingetorix,
the defeated chief of
the Arveni tribe,
throwing down his
arms before Julius
Caesar after the
siege of Alesia in
52BC. These land
agonisingly on
Caesar’s feet and he
hobbles away.
Napoleon III, in the
19th
century, sought to
1
rally popular enthusiasm
for
f his rule by resurrecting
a nationalist myth of
Vercingetorix’s
heroic struggle.
V
About
a century later, Goscinny and
A
Uderzo would perform the same
service of national healing by
inventing the adventures of the little
Gaulish village holding out against the
Roman invaders.
Goscinny was an Anglophile who
took particular interest in the English
translations of Asterix. My mother
got to know him well and consulted
him on such translation conundrums
as his affectionate depiction of British
eccentricities in Asterix in Britain.
Among the running gags in the
French edition is the way the British
characters speak. My mother’s
proffered solution was to give them
upper-class idioms of the type used
by characters in PG Wodehouse’s
novels. On listening to her suggest
such lines as “What ho, old fruit”
Goscinny laughed and said graciously:
“Ah, old fruit. Vieux fruit. I wish I’d
thought of that.”
The tales of the cunning Gaulish
warrior are great works of British as
well as French comic fiction by a man
who revolutionised the tradition of the
Jewish joker and helped to restore a
sense of civic pride.
Asterix in Britain: The Life and Work
of René Goscinny is at the Jewish
Museum, London NW1 (020 7284
7384), tomorrow to September 30
the times | Wednesday May 9 2018
11
1G T
television & radio
Maybe a humble weed can rejuvenate Cornwall
7 WONDER PRODUCTIONS
James
Jackson
TV review
Back to the Land
BBC Two
{{{((
Back to School
BBC One
{{{{(
B
ack to the Land, the returning
rural-business show, could be
the most positive series on
TV. Yes, our housing crisis is
implacable, EU migrant
labourers are deserting our regions
and Amazon — to the sound of Darth
Vader’s Imperial March — continues
to kill off businesses everywhere.
But . . . here’s Kate Humble, a blaze of
good-natured optimism, saluting the
pluck and enterprise of rural Britain.
It’s not often that a middling
midweek business show has an
Radio Choice
Catherine Nixey
The Documentary
World Service, 11.30am
What is money? One
brilliant description was
offered by a journalist after
the 2008 financial crash.
Money, she wrote, is like
Tinkerbell: there as long as
you believe in it. As soon as
you say you don’t, it’s gone.
In 2008 that thought was a
profoundly depressing one.
However, its corollary —
that if you do believe money
exists, it’s there — underlies
the cheerier process of
Initial Coin Offering (ICO),
discussed here. In ICO you
create your own digital
currency. This wheeze,
says Rory Cellan-Jones,
is being used to raise
billions for start-ups. What
could possibly go wrong?
Drivetime
Radio 2, 5pm
When Judy Murray and her
tennis-titan sons arrived on
the scene a decade or so ago
words such as “pushy” were
frequently used to describe
her. Since then the fourth
wave of feminism has
broken and washed away
many of our habits. Our
language about Murray
seems to say less about
her than about us. She talks
to Amol Rajan about the
struggles she has faced,
including financial ones
and, yes, entrenched sexism.
opening montage so inspiring that you
feel obliged to leap up and punch the
air. Cornwall’s economy may be
tanking, but that isn’t denting the
dreams of the bucolic entrepreneurs
leading a “rural revolution”. There is
seaweed in those waters, yarrow and
bog myrtle in the fields (to be foraged
and made into microbrew ales, that is)
and mountains to be moved.
Making a living in Cornwall is not
easy, though, thanks to the way the
armies of tourists bearing buckets and
spades vanish every autumn. The main
thrust here was following Tim and
Caro of the Cornish Seaweed Company
who, come rain or shine, free-dive to
snip off kilos of leathery weed from
the seabed. Their dulse (a red seaweed)
apparently makes a great vegan bacon.
But when Humble meets the pair she
sees a lo-fi operation that even she
felt might be a bit too amateurish.
However, having briefly got stuck in
(as is her way), Humble revisited a year
later to find the business flourishing.
I wished Tim and Caro well because
their situation highlights the irony
about Cornwall. Second-homers have
pushed the house prices to unreachable
levels, but gentrification and its trendy
restaurants mean there’s a market for
the artisan superfood that the couple
sell. So on they continue. Yet really all
the entrepreneurs that Humble met
were models of can-do motivation —
and what a refreshing change that is.
Radio 1
FM: 96.7-99.8 MHz
6.30am The Radio 1 Breakfast Show with
Nick Grimshaw 10.00 Clara Amfo 12.45pm
Newsbeat 1.00 The Matt Edmondson Show
4.00 Greg James 5.45 Newsbeat 6.00 Greg
James 7.00 Dan from Bastille and Grimmy
9.00 The 8th with Charlie Sloth 11.00 Huw
Stephens 1.00am Benji B 3.00 Comedy: Niki
and Sammy’s Peachy Podcast 4.00 Early
Breakfast Show with Adele Roberts
Radio 2
FM: 88-90.2 MHz
6.30am Chris Evans 9.30 Ken Bruce 12.00
Jeremy Vine 2.00pm Steve Wright
5.00 Amol Rajan. Sitting in for Simon Mayo,
with guest Judy Murray. See Radio Choice
7.00 The Folk Show with Mark Radcliffe.
With a live session by Darlingside 8.00 Ana
Matronic. The Scissor Sisters singer sits in
for Jo Whiley 10.00 Kylie Minogue From
A to Z. The singer considers her love of
performing live. Last in the series 11.00 Old
Grey Whistle Test 40. Guests include Bob
Geldof, Richard Skinner, Feargal Sharkey and
Chuck Prophet (r) 12.00 Pick of the Pops (r)
2.00am Radio 2 Playlists: Country Playlist
3.00 Radio 2 Playlist: Easy 4.00 Radio 2
Playlist: Radio 2 Rocks 5.00 Vanessa Feltz
Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents. Including 7.00,
8.00 News. 7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Ian Skelly is joined by Dr Christian Jessen
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Boulanger (1893-1918)
Donald Macleod considers the artistic
significance of the relationship between
Lili Boulanger and her eldest sister,
Nadia, who continued to promote Lili’s
music after her death. Boulanger (Hymne au
soleil; D’un vieux jardin; D’un jardin clair;
Clairières dans le Çiel; and Psalm 129)
1.00pm News
1.02 Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
Clemency Burton-Hill presents music
performed by Federico Colli, recorded at St
Mary’s Church, Hay-on-Wye, during the 2017
Hay Festival. Mozart (Variations on “Les
hommes pieusement” — Unser dummer
Pöbel meint —Gluck’s “La rencontre
imprévue”, K455); Beethoven (Piano Sonata
No 1 in F minor, Op 2 No 1); and Mozart
(Piano Sonata No 5 in G, K283) (r)
A small business selling seaweed impressed Kate Humble
2.00 Afternoon Concert
Jonathan Swain presents as the Verbier
Festival Orchestra is joined by the clarinet
maestro Martin Frost. Copland (El Salon
Mexico); Lutoslawski (Dance Preludes); Artie
Shaw (Clarinet Concerto); and Prokofiev
(Romeo and Juliet — excerpts)
3.30 Choral Evensong
From the Chapel of Lancing College on the
Eve of the Ascension. Introit: Viri Galilaei
(Isaac). Responses: Radcliffe. Psalms 15, 24
(Knight, Attwood). First Lesson: 2 Samuel 23
vv 1-5. Office Hymn: The Head That Once
Was Crowned with Thorns (St Magnus).
Canticles: Gloucester Service (Neil Cox).
Second Lesson: Colossians 2 v.20 — 3 v 4.
Anthem: God Is Gone Up (Finzi). Hymn: Hail
the Day That Sees Him Rise (Llanfair).
Voluntary: L’Ascension (Transports de Joie)
(Messiaen). Director of Music: Neil Cox.
Organist: Edward Picton-Turbevill
4.30 New Generation Artists
Jonathan Swain introduces the Romanian
cellist Andrei Ionita, and the Georgian pianist
Mariam Batsashvili. Hindemith (Sonata for
solo cello, Op 25 No 3); and Liszt
(Bénédiction de Dieu dans la Solitude)
5.00 In Tune
Sean Rafferty with a lively mix of chat, arts
news and live performance. Sean’s guests
include the violinist Patricia Kopatchinskaja,
performing live in the studio before a
performance at Queen Elizabeth Hall later
this week. Including 5.00, 6.00 News
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
Music by Byrd, Humperdinck and Debussy
7.30 Live Radio 3 in Concert
Kirill Karabits conducts the Bournemouth
Symphony Orchestra and Simon Trpceski
(piano), from the Lighthouse Poole.
Elgar (Overture: In the South —
Alassio, Op 50); Tchaikovsky (Concerto No 1
in B flat minor, Op 23); and Walton
(Symphony No 1 in B flat minor)
10.00 Free Thinking
Eleanor Rosamund Barraclough talks to three
writers — Madeline Miller, Zoe Gilbert and
Kirsty Logan — about the renewal of myth
and folk stories in modern writing
10.45 The Essay: The Migrants
The musician, broadcaster and birdwatcher
Tom McKinney reads Seasons, the next
in his series of essays on bird migration
and its fascination for bird lovers
11.00 Late Junction
Max Reinhardt finds hyperrealism in film
soundtracks, commercials, and field
recordings. Plus, a look at the work of
the alt-rock band Electrelane
12.30am Through the Night
Radio 4
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30 News Briefing
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (r)
6.00 Today
With John Humphrys and Nick Robinson
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament
9.00 Only Artists
Tracey Thorn meets the film-maker and
screenwriter Carol Morley (1/7)
9.30 Classified Britain
James Naughtie explores history through
front page small advertisements (1/5)
9.45 (LW) Daily Service
9.45 Book of the Week:
The Language of Kindness
By Christie Watson (3/5)
10.00 Woman’s Hour
Presented by Jenni Murray. Including at
10.41 the 15 Minute Drama: Linda Marshall
Griffiths’ adaptation of Henry James’
The Wings of the Dove (8/10)
10.56 The Listening Project
A playwright and actor reflect on their role
11.00 Bearing Grudges
Marcel Berlins reveals why people hold
grudges and ways to overcome them (r)
11.30 Ability
Matt’s carer Bob is due for his first
assessment (2/4)
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Four Thought
How art and science together can explain
phenomena such as moonlight (r)
12.15 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One
1.45 The Assassination (3/10)
2.00 The Archers (r)
2.15 Drama: Rumpole
By John Mortimer. Rumpole faces a life
changing decision about his marriage,
and must choose between his wife Hilda
and Phillida (3/3)
3.00 Money Box Live
3.30 All in the Mind
Programme exploring the limits and
potential of the human mind (r)
4.00 Thinking Allowed (r)
4.30 The Media Show
The latest news from the media world
5.00 PM
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
6.30 Daliso Chaponda:
Citizen of Nowhere
An exploration of the relationship
between the UK and Africa (2/4)
The cute but charming The Secret
Life of 5 Year Olds was also back,
prodding more youngsters into saying
the funniest things (“I’m President
Trump — can I have your money?”)
in the guise of behavioural research.
However, a far more sobering view of
child psychology was exposed later on
in Back to School with Mum and Dad.
It feels as if there have been a lot of
education documentaries lately —
most with emotional journeys and that
touchy-feely music trying to tug the
heart strings. This one dialled down all
that stuff for a serious fly-on-the-wall
look at pupils at the Family School, a
place for excluded children with anger
or anxiety issues and which invites
parents to attend classes in an attempt
to treat the whole family.
Gradually it was revealed how three
kids’ experiences of turbulence at home
— essentially their parents’ separations
— were behind their problems,
presenting child psychology in an
intimate, if often alarming fashion.
The teachers were laudably patient in
breaking bad patterns and reinforcing
positive ones, even as one nine-yearold was being physically restrained
during his outbursts, and another,
aged eight, was screaming f-words.
The only niggle was wondering how
these kids will react if they ever get to
see this film. With a rueful laugh a
long time from now, one hopes.
james.jackson@thetimes.co.uk
7.00 The Archers
Fallon is put on the spot
7.15 Front Row
7.45 Love Henry James:
The Wings of the Dove
Dramatised by Linda Marshall Griffiths.
Starring Nico Mirallegro (8/10)
8.00 FutureProofing
Exploring the way that our relationship with
animals may change in the future (2/4)
8.45 Four Thought
David Baker asks what happens to the
families of people shot by the police
9.00 Costing the Earth
Peter Hadfield reports on a surprising threat
to the Australian outback — camels (r)
9.30 Only Artists (1/7) (r)
10.00 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime: The Valley
at the Centre of the World
By Malachy Tallack (8/10)
11.00 Six Degrees of John Sessions
The actor, raconteur and impressionist John
Sessions tells stories linked to him (4/4)
11.15 Terry Alderton’s All Crazy Now
Fifteen minutes of unpredictable
comedy and music (1/4) (r)
11.30 Today in Parliament
12.00 News and Weather
12.30am Book of the Week: The
Language of Kindness (3/5) (r)
12.48 Shipping Forecast
1.00 As BBC World Service
9.15 Chopping Onions. By Becky Prestwich.
Starring Maureen Lipman. From 2013 10.00
Comedy Club: Daliso Chaponda — Citizen of
Nowhere. The Malawian comedian Daliso
Chaponda looks at the relationship between
the UK and Africa 10.30 2525. A comedy
snapshot of life in the distant future 10.55
The Comedy Club Interview. A chat with
a guest from the world of comedy 11.00
Clayton Grange. By Neil Warhurst with
additional material by Paul Barnhill 11.30
Delve Special. Comedy with Stephen Fry
Radio 4 Extra
Digital only
7.00am Shaun Keaveny 10.00 Lauren
Laverne. With Hayley Heynderickx 1.00pm
Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie 4.00
Tom Ravenscroft 7.00 Marc Riley 9.00
Gideon Coe 12.00 6 Music Recommends with
Mary Anne Hobbs 1.00am Hitsville USA:
The Story of Motown 2.00 Street
Corner Soul 2.30 6 Music Live Hour 3.30
6 Music’s Jukebox 5.00 Chris Hawkins
Digital only
8.00am The Navy Lark 8.30 Round the
Horne 9.00 The Write Stuff 9.30 The
27-Year Itch 10.00 Two on a Tower 11.00
Short Works: A Season of Murder, Mystery
and Suspense 11.15 Chopping Onions 12.00
The Navy Lark 12.30pm Round the Horne
1.00 High Table, Lower Orders 1.30
Conversation Piece: Dame Freya Stark 2.00
The Secret History 2.15 Shakespeare’s
Restless World 2.30 Gillespie and I 2.45
Michael Palin Diaries: The Python Years 3.00
Two on a Tower 4.00 The Write Stuff 4.30
The 27-Year Itch 5.00 The Leopard in
Autumn 5.30 Daliso Chaponda: Citizen of
Nowhere 6.00 Night Watch 6.30 The Tingle
Factor 7.00 The Navy Lark 7.30 Round the
Horne. Kenneth Horne spies an escaped war
criminal 8.00 High Table, Lower Orders.
Comedy drama by Mark Tavener. First aired
in 2005 8.30 Conversation Piece: Dame Freya
Stark. Dame Freya Stark talks to Sue
MacGregor 9.00 Short Works: A Season of
Murder, Mystery and Suspense
Radio 5 Live
MW: 693, 909
6.00am 5 Live Breakfast 10.00 The Emma
Barnett Show with Anna Foster 1.00pm
Afternoon Edition 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00
5 Live Sport. The night’s Premier League
football 10.00 5 Live Sport: 5 Live Football
Social 10.30 Phil Williams 1.00am Up All
Night 5.00 Reports 5.15 Wake Up to Money
talkSPORT
MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
6.00am The Alan Brazil Sports Breakfast
with David Ginola 10.00 Jim White 1.00pm
Hawksbee and Jacobs 4.00 Adrian Durham
and Darren Gough 7.00 Kick-off. With Mark
Saggers 10.00 Sports Bar 1.00am
Extra Time with Adam Catterall
6 Music
Classic FM
FM: 100-102 MHz
6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00 John
Suchet 1.00pm Aled Jones 5.00 Classic FM
Drive 7.00 Smooth Classics 8.00 The Full
Works Concert. Pieces for instruments that
the composer mastered at the time of
writing. JS Bach (Toccata and Fugue in
D minor); Mozart (Piano Concerto No.9 in
E-flat — “Jeunehomme”); Haydn (Violin
Concerto in G Hob.VIIa:4); Hummel (Piano
Concerto No.4 in E O p 110); and Telemann
(Concerto in E for Oboe, Flute, and Viola)
10.00 Smooth Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
12
1G T
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
television & radio
Viewing Guide
Joe Clay
Joan Bakewell
on May ’68
BBC Four, 10pm
The May
1968 uprising
in France
began with
what seemed at the
time like a trivial
incident, when students
at Paris Nanterre
seen in Paris since the
French Revolution. It
was to be a tumultuous
year, one recalled by
Joan Bakewell in this
forthright, absorbing
documentary. The
discontent wasn’t just
felt in France; similar
scenes occurred
in Italy, Germany,
America, Mexico,
Japan and the UK.
“The new generation
was losing faith in the
values of its parents,
disillusioned with the
world they had made,”
Bakewell says. The
young were restless for
change, a new
counterculture was
flourishing and many
who had indulged in
drugs and free love the
summer before were
waking up to politics.
At the time Bakewell
was the host of the BBC
chat show Late Night
Line-Up, and she
remembers how she
argued the issues of
the time with some of
those at the forefront
of change, such as
Marcel Duchamp
and Vaclav Havel,
without fear of censure.
Bakewell looks at the
preceding years of
French history to reveal
some of the reasons
why 1968 was to be
such a momentous one.
Mystery of the
Lost Paintings
Sky Arts, 8pm
Claude Monet’s huge
paintings of the lily
ponds at his home in
Giverny are among
the most celebrated
in art. The pick are
housed in the Musée
de l’Orangerie in the
Tuileries Gardens in
Paris. In 1958 a fire at
the Museum of Modern
Art, New York, reduced
one to ashes and
severely damaged
another. There have
been several attempts
to bring the latter back
to life, but all have
failed. Enter the team
of miracle workers at
Factum Arte, who use
digital and traditional
processes to create
a 3D print. A potted
history of Monet adds
extra value to this film.
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Rip Off Britain: Food. Gloria
Hunniford, Angela Rippon and Julia Somerville look at
packaging issues (r) 10.00 Homes Under the Hammer.
Properties in Glasgow, Stoke-on-Trent and Hastings (r)
11.00 A1: Britain’s Longest Road. Traffic officers battle
to remove dangerous debris from the road (AD) 11.45
The Housing Enforcers. Matt Allwright joins housing
officers in Stroud for a routine tenant visit, and in
Suffolk, one man’s gardening DIY is causing problems for
his neighbours 12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Two teams test
their antiques knowledge in Newark (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
1.45 Doctors. Valerie has a tough decision to make (AD)
2.15 800 Words. Weld receives another unexpected
visitor (AD) 3.00 Escape to the Country. A retired couple
search for a rural retreat in West Wales (AD) 3.45
Flipping Profit. Roo Irvine, Danny Sebastian and Nessa
Doran O’Reilly head to West Kilbride to search for
bargains (AD) 4.30 Flog It! From Croome, a Palladian
mansion in Worcestershire 5.15 Pointless. Quiz hosted by
Alexander Armstrong, with Richard Osman 6.00 BBC
News at Six; Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
6.00am Flog It! Trade Secrets (r) 6.30 A1: Britain’s
Longest Road (r) (AD) 7.15 Flipping Profit (r) (AD) 8.00
Sign Zone: Super Fast Falcon (r) (AD, SL) 9.00 Victoria
Derbyshire 11.00 BBC Newsroom Live 11.30 Daily
Politics 1.00pm Perfection. General knowledge quiz
hosted by Nick Knowles (r) 1.45 Home Away from Home.
Couples from Bedfordshire and the South Pennines swap
homes (r) 2.30 Going Back, Giving Back. In Oxfordshire,
Aled Jones sees the dogs that have been trained to help
children with disabilities, and meets the woman whose
disabled son inspired her to make it possible (r) 3.15
Digging for Britain. Archaeological finds across the East
of Britain including divers searching the Thames for clues
to a 17th-century tragedy (r) (AD) 4.15 Tudor Monastery
Farm. The team turns its attention to wool, and Ruth
Goodman uses sheep’s milk to make cheese (r) (AD)
5.15 Money for Nothing. Sarah Moore and her team
revamp a pair of brown atomic chairs, and later find a
mid-century hall unit that needs bringing up to date (r)
(AD) 6.00 Eggheads. Quiz show hosted by Jeremy Vine
(r) 6.30 Great British Railway Journeys. Michael Portillo
travels from Motherwell to Linlithgow (r) (AD)
6.00am Good Morning Britain. News, current affairs and
lifestyle features 8.30 Lorraine. Entertainment, current
affairs and fashion news, as well as showbiz stories,
cooking and gossip 9.25 The Jeremy Kyle Show. The host
invites guests to air their differences over family and
relationship issues 10.30 This Morning. A mix of chat,
lifestyle features, advice and competitions. Including
Local Weather 12.30pm Loose Women. Another helping
of topical studio discussion from a female perspective,
featuring interviews with Lesley Dunlop, and Jean and
Kim Leadbeater 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00 Judge
Rinder. Criminal barrister Robert Rinder takes on real-life
cases in a studio courtroom 3.00 Tenable. Five triathletes
from Glasgow answer questions on lists from the realms
of pop culture and general knowledge, then try to score a
perfect 10 in the final round to take home the prize
money. Quiz hosted by Warwick Davis 4.00 Tipping Point.
Ben Shephard hosts the arcade-themed quiz show in
which contestants drop tokens down a choice of four
chutes in the hope of winning a £10,000 jackpot 5.00
The Chase. Quiz show hosted by Bradley Walsh 6.00
Regional News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
6.00am Countdown (r) 6.45 3rd Rock from the Sun (r)
(AD) 7.35 Everybody Loves Raymond (r) 8.30 Frasier (r)
10.05 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA. A Brooklyn
man struggling to run two adjacent restaurants (r) 11.00
Undercover Boss USA. The president of bridal retailer
Alfred Angelo goes undercover (r) 12.00 Channel 4 News
Summary 12.05pm Coast vs Country. A Bromley couple
seek a West Sussex home (r) (AD) 1.05 Posh
Pawnbrokers. Larry from Cashbrokers in Penzance goes to
look at some antique petrol pumps (r) 2.10 Countdown.
With Adrian Chiles in Dictionary Corner 3.00 A Place in
the Sun: Summer Sun. A couple plan to buy a home on
Kefalonia to get back in touch with their Greek roots (r)
4.00 The £100k Drop. A couple from Doncaster and two
colleagues from Stoke-on-Trent compete 5.00 Four in a
Bed. The third visit of the week is to the Riverside House
Hotel in Mildenhall, Suffolk (r) 5.30 Buy It Now. Peter
demonstrates his idea for a brand new mode of transport
6.00 The Simpsons. Homer manages to ruin any chance
of a friendship with his new neighbour (r) (AD) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Sami tells Imran to start behaving himself,
and Nancy discovers Kyle’s plan to get revenge (r) (AD)
6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright Stuff. Matthew
Wright and his guests talk about the issues of the day
11.15 Paddington Station 24/7. Network Rail prepares
for two days of disruption as Storm Eleanor closes in,
while reports come in of a packed train being struck and
damaged by a falling tree in Hungerford (r) 12.10pm
5 News Lunchtime 12.15 GPs: Behind Closed Doors. Dr
Shazia Javed meets a young boy with an unusually high
temperature and no identifiable cause, and a patient
drives himself to the surgery after suffering from a
suspected stroke (r) (AD) 1.10 Access 1.15 Home and
Away (AD) 1.45 Neighbours (AD) 2.15 The Yorkshire Vet
Casebook. Patients include Dave the baby emu, Dougie
the pugnacious parrot and Bobby the police sniffer dog (r)
3.15 FILM: Driven Off the Rails (PG, TVM, 2017)
A married woman loses her memory after an accident, but
when her memory returns, she believes she has had an
affair with a missing man. Drama starring Hannah
Barefoot and Thomas Beaudoin 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30
Neighbours. Chloe and Leo give in to temptation (r) (AD)
6.00 Home and Away. Maggie is devastated when she
finds a lump under her arm (r) (AD) 6.30 5 News Tonight
7.00 The One Show Alex Jones and Ore
Oduba present the magazine show
featuring reports from around
the UK and famous guests
7.00 Back to the Land with Kate
Humble Kate is in Yorkshire where
she meets Mangalitza pig farmers, and
an ex-submariner who decided to buy a
boat and set about catching lobsters.
Kate also meets an award-winning
glass blower based in the heart of
the Yorkshire Moors (2/12) (AD)
8.00 Watchdog Live The team report on
some alarming concerns with a major
car manufacturer, and the Swab Mob
go undercover to test the cleanliness
of cinemas. Plus, the team uncover a
company misleading customers into
paying for something they could
do themselves for free (4/6)
8.00 Top of the Shop with Tom
Kerridge The seven heat winners are
up against each other in the grand
final, as they compete for the title of
best up and coming artisan. First, they
must supply a shop for a month, but
they will not be there themselves to
tempt customers to buy (8/8) (AD)
9.00 Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh
Fearnley-Whittingstall Hugh turns
his attention to junk food marketing
techniques, and heads to a
Conservative Party Conference, where
he has been invited to speak about
obesity. See Viewing Guide (3/3) (AD)
9.00 Love in the Countryside Dairy
farmers Pete and Ed’s dates arrive on
their farms and are thrown straight
into unfamiliar farm life. Meanwhile,
farm contractor Paul, cattle and sheep
farmer Richard, and pig farmer Wendy
all meet applicants that wrote back to
them. See Viewing Guide (2/6) (AD)
11PM
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather;
followed by National Lottery Update
10.45 Joshua v Klitschko: Return to
Wembley Anthony Joshua and
Wladimir Klitschko meet for the
first time since their memorable
heavyweight fight for the IBF,
WBA Super and IBO world titles at
Wembley Stadium in April 2017
Late
10PM
9PM
8PM
7PM
Early
Top
pick
University occupied a
lecture theatre after
male undergraduates
were refused access
to the floors reserved
for women. Student
grievances were
adopted by the trade
unions, which led to
the biggest postwar
nationwide strike in
France — Charles de
Gaulle’s government
was almost toppled
during the worst rioting
11.30 Ambulance Matt and Ian attend a
series of serious incidents, from a
stabbing and a machete attack to two
shootings. Ozzie and Matt rehearse the
CPR protocol on their way to treat a
baby who is not breathing, and Chloe
and Katie offer emotional support
to a victim of domestic abuse (r)
12.35am-6.00 BBC News
10.00 Detectorists Lance is persuaded
to try hypnotherapy for an
awkward affliction (2/6) (r) (AD)
10.30 Newsnight Presented by Evan Davis
11.15 Syria: The World’s War Lyse Doucet
presents the first of a two-part
documentary revealing how a peaceful
uprising against the president of Syria
seven years ago has turned into
a full-scale civil war (1/2) (r)
12.15am Syria: The World’s War Documentary on
the ongoing civil war (r) 1.15 Sign Zone: Stephen — The
Murder That Changed a Nation. A change in the law
states the suspects can be retried (r) (AD, SL)
2.15-3.15 Pilgrimage: The Road to Santiago. The famous
faces near the end of their journey (r) (AD, SL)
7.00 Emmerdale Charity opens up to
Harriet, who encourages her to
talk more about her past (AD)
7.00 Channel 4 News
7.00 Police Interceptors Spike takes the
lead against a runaway car thief in one
of the most challenging pursuits ever,
while Liam investigates a gang of
suspected drug dealers from
Nottingham. Elsewhere, a supposedly
straightforward stop snowballs into
a late-night showdown (2/10) (r)
8.30 Heathrow: Britain’s Busiest
Airport Kat and Bob come across a
visitor whose reason for entering the
country does not add up (2/6) (AD)
8.00 The Secret Life of the Zoo Chester
Zoo’s penguins move into a temporary
home, while the African painted dog
pups venture out of their den for the
first time. A Sumatran orangutan gives
birth, and a beetle with a wonky horn
has to fight bachelors in the group to
win the attention of a female (4/6)
8.00 GPs: Behind Closed Doors
Dr Anna Graham is visited by a
musician who is worried about his
hearing due to ongoing ear-nose-andthroat issues. Dr Jane Edge runs
through the ECG results of a woman
who thinks her new medication is
to blame for her chest pains (AD)
9.00 Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
As the week-long revival of the quiz
show — which is celebrating its 20th
anniversary this year — continues,
Jeremy Clarkson puts six contestants
through their paces to see who will
have the opportunity to answer
15 questions to win the prize (5/7)
9.00 One Born Every Minute Lauren and
Rachel arrive in the maternity ward
awaiting the birth of their second child
together. Meanwhile, Laura and Paul,
who already have nine children, are
expecting another baby, and Urwah and
Nadhia arrive awaiting the birth of
baby number five (10/10) (AD)
9.00 Rich House, Poor House The
well-off Scaife-Lacys from Beverley in
East Yorkshire trade places with the
Flinthams, who live in Hull and are in
the country’s poorest 10 per cent. They
swap homes, budgets and lives as they
see what it is like at the other end
of the economic spectrum (2/4)
7.30 Coronation Street Johnny makes an
upsetting discovery, and David insists
on attending court without his family.
However, when news of the bombshell
reaches him, it leads to a heart-ttoheart with Shona, where he reveals
the truth about Josh’s assault (AD)
10.00 ITV News at Ten
10.30 Regional News
10.45 Sunday Night at the Palladium
Jimmy Carr hosts the variety show,
with music by Markus Feehily, Rebecca
Ferguson and Deacon Blue, a dance
routine from Vincent and Flavia, and
comedy from Rob Beckett (3/5) (r)
11.45 British Touring Car Championship
Highlights Action from the second
round of the season at Donington Park
1.00am Jackpot247 3.00 Grantchester. Geordie calls on
Sidney for help as he investigates the apparent suicide of
a Cambridge lecturer, who was found dead after falling
from the spire of King’s College Chapel (r) (AD) 3.50
ITV Nightscreen. Text-based information service
5.05-6.00 The Jeremy Kyle Show. Talk show (r) (SL)
10.00 First Dates Voiceover artist Nick,
who’s 62, is set up on a date with
52-year-old golfer Laura, and
22-year-old Jordan, a boxer for Team
Great Britain, meets 23-year-old Thai
boxer Chloe. Telecoms analyst Ketan,
who has high-functioning autism,
goes on a date with Brodie (AD)
10.00 Tortured By Mum and Dad?:
The Turpin 13 This documentary
investigates the shocking story of
David and Louise Turpin, who kept
their 13 children imprisoned in their
own home until they were found in
January 2018. See Viewing Guide
11.05 Naked Attraction A 21-year-old man
wants to find a partner who shares his
love of adventure and isn’t bothered
by his posh boy charm, while a
22-year-old pansexual woman is open
to dating any gender (1/10) (r) (AD)
11.05 Criminals Caught on Camera
A gang of armed robbers are caught
terrorising shop staff on CCTV,
and a dash-cam captures the
moment a drug dealer opens fire
on police officers (5/10) (r)
12.10am Friday Night Dinner (r) (AD) 12.35 High &
Dry (r) (AD) 1.05 Genderquake (r) (AD, SL) 2.00 FILM:
The Quiet Ones (15, 2014) Horror starring Jared
Harris (SL) 3.40 Gok’s Fill Your House for Free (r) (AD)
4.35 Steph and Dom’s One Star to Five Star (r) 5.00
Jamie’s Comfort Food (r) 5.10-6.00 Fifteen to One (r)
12.05am Diced to Death: Countdown to Murder
The case of Ty Medland, who killed his wife in a street
stabbing (r) 1.00 SuperCasino 3.10 GPs: Behind Closed
Doors (r) (AD) 4.00 Get Your Tatts Out: Kavos Ink
(r) (SL) 4.45 House Doctor (r) (AD, SL) 5.10
Wildlife SOS (r) (SL) 5.35-6.00 Nick’s Q uest (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday May 9 2018
13
1G T
television & radio
Britain’s Fat Fight
BBC One, 9pm
In the last part of Hugh
Fearnley-Whittingstall’s
rousing campaign
against obesity he looks
at the amount of money
spent on marketing
junk food as opposed
to healthy food. The
results are depressing,
but what can he do to
change it? After being
frustrated in his efforts
to get an audience with
the health secretary,
Jeremy Hunt, at the
Conservative Party
conference (which
is sponsored by a
sugar company),
Fearnley-Whittingstall
teams up with Jamie
Oliver to concoct an
ambitious plan to
improve the health
of our nation. You
would be mad to
bet against them.
Love in the
Countryside
BBC Two, 9pm
After a warm-hearted
opening to the dating
series, the mischievous
programme-makers are
getting the singletons
to invite not just one
of their prospective
partners back to their
farms, but three. Steady
— it’s not that sort of
show, but it definitely
livens things up. This
week we see how the
dairy farmers, bluff
Yorkshireman Pete and
charming Lancastrian
Ed, get on. Pete has
eyes for glamorous
Francesca, but is she
cut out for farming life?
“It’s a really strange
situation to be in,” she
says. Ed is drawn to
Megan, whose husband
died of cancer, but
finds it hard to decide.
Tortured by
Mum and Dad?:
The Turpin 13
Channel 5, 10pm
It was the case that
shocked America. In
January, 13 siblings,
aged from 2 to 29, were
rescued by police from
a house in California
where some of them
had been chained to
beds. A 17-year-old girl
had escaped and used a
mobile phone to raise
the alarm. She was so
malnourished that the
police thought she was
ten. The children’s
parents, David and
Louise Turpin, have
since been charged
with torture and child
endangerment. This
one-off film investigates
the sinister story
of how a suburban
family hid a horrifying
secret for so long.
Live IPL Cricket
Sky Main Event, 3pm
Kolkata Knight Riders
take on Mumbai
Indians for the second
time this week. Today’s
match takes place
at Eden Gardens,
home of KKR, who
claimed a notable
scalp last weekend
when they defeated
Virat Kohli’s Royal
Challengers Bangalore.
Sky One
Sky Atlantic
Sky Living
Sky Arts
Sky Main Event
Variations
6.00am Animal 999 (r) 7.00 Meerkat Manor (r)
(AD) 8.00 Monkey Life (r) (AD) 9.00 Motorway
Patrol (r) 10.00 Road Wars (r) 11.00
Warehouse 13 (r) 12.00 NCIS: Los Angeles (r)
1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 4.00 Stargate SG-1 (r) 5.00 The
Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.00 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 Carnage. Mad Max-style vehicles go head
to head in three arenas in the desert (r)
9.00 Harry & Meghan: A Love Story. The
documentary maker Toby Sculthorp explores
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s relationship
10.00 FILM: Scream (18, 1996) High-school
students are stalked by a masked killer. Horror
starring Neve Campbell and David Arquette
12.05am Brit Cops: Rapid Response. Police
officers on patrol (r) (AD) 1.00 Ross Kemp:
Extreme World (r) (AD) 2.00 Most Shocking (r)
(AD) 3.00 Hawaii Five-0 (r) 4.00 Highway
Patrol (r) 5.00 It’s Me or the Dog (r)
6.00am Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
7.00 The British (r) (AD) 8.00 The Guest Wing
(AD) 9.00 The West Wing (r) 11.00 House (r)
(AD) 1.00pm Without a Trace 2.00 Blue Bloods
(r) (AD) 3.00 The West Wing (r) 5.00 House.
An incident has serious consequences (r) (AD)
6.00 House. Chase returns (r) (AD)
7.00 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Warrick
investigates a spate of drive-by shootings (r)
8.00 Blue Bloods. A friend of Jamie’s files a
lawsuit against one of Danny’s buddies (r) (AD)
9.00 Occupied. The group holding Jesper are
willing to sell him back to the Norwegian
authorities, but change their plans (4/8)
10.00 High Maintenance. A freelancer embarks
on a desperate search for cannabis
10.35 Silicon Valley. Gilfoyle worries about
an artificial-intelligence partner (r)
11.10 Barry. Barry faces a dilemma (r)
11.45 Billions (6/12) (r)
12.55am The Sopranos (r) 2.10 Togetherness
(r) 2.45 Happyish (r) 4.00 The West Wing (r)
6.00am Motorway Patrol (r) (AD) 7.00
Highway Patrol (r) 7.30 Border Patrol (r) 8.00
Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r) 9.00
Elementary (r) (AD) 10.00 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation (r) 11.00 Cold Case (r) 12.00
Children’s Accident & Emergency (r) 1.00pm
Medical Emergency (r) (AD) 2.00 Send in the
Dogs (r) (AD) 2.30 Customs UK (r) 3.00
Nothing to Declare (r) 5.00 Border Security:
Canada’s Front Line. Documentary (r)
6.00 Medical Emergency (r)
7.00 Children’s Accident & Emergency (r)
8.00 Elementary. With Natalie Dormer (r) (AD)
9.00 Grey’s Anatomy. The hospital brings in
crisis management when legal threats are made
10.00 Station 19. The team responds to
a fire at a new bed-and-breakfast (4/10)
11.00 Criminal Minds (r) 12.00 CSI: Crime
Scene Investigation (r) 1.00am Murders That
Shocked a Nation (r) (AD) 2.00 Scandal (r) 3.00
Madam Secretary (r) 4.00 Nothing to Declare (r)
5.00 Border Security: Canada’s Front Line (r)
6.00am Dmitri Shostakovich: A Man of Many
Faces 7.15 André Rieu: Live in Dublin 9.00
Watercolour Challenge 9.30 The Art Show (AD)
10.30 Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 11.00
Classic Albums 12.00 The Eighties (AD)
1.00pm Discovering: Vivien Leigh (AD) 2.00
Watercolour Challenge 2.30 Art of the Portrait
3.00 The South Bank Show Originals 3.30 Tales
of the Unexpected (AD) 4.00 Classic Albums
5.00 The Eighties. Economic growth (AD)
6.00 Discovering: James Cagney (AD)
7.00 Tate Britain’s Great Art Walks
8.00 Mystery of the Lost Paintings.
Monet’s Water Lilies. See Viewing Guide
9.00 Discovering: George C Scott. A profile
10.00 Hollywood: No Sex, Please (AD)
11.00 John Malkovich: Just Call Me God.
Satirical musical drama starring John Malkovich
12.30am Mystery of the Lost Paintings 1.30
My Beatles Black Album with Charles Hazlewood
2.30 Status Quo: Live in Montreux 4.30
Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 5.00 Auction
6.00am Good Morning Sports Fans Bitesize
7.00 Good Morning Sports Fans 10.00 Premier
League Daily 11.00 Live ATP Masters Tennis:
The Mutua Madrid Open. Coverage of day three
of the clay-court tournament from the Caja
Magica, with matches from the second round
3.00pm Live Indian Premier League: Kolkata
Knight Riders v Mumbai Indians. Coverage of the
match from Eden Gardens in Kolkata, where the
10th season of the lucrative Twenty20
competition continues. See Viewing Guide
7.30 Live Premier League: Chelsea v
Huddersfield Town (Kick-off 7.45). Coverage of
the top-flight game from Stamford Bridge
10.30 Nissan Match Choice. Highlights from the
Premier League, allowing viewers to access
the latest round of top-flight fixtures
11.00 Premier League Highlights
11.30 Premier League Highlights
12.00 Premier League Highlights 12.30am
Premier League Highlights 1.00 Sky Sports
News. A round-up of the day’s talking points
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 9.00pm-10.00 The
Cancer Hospital. Patients receiving treatment
for lung cancer. Last in the series 10.45
Britain’s Fat Fight with Hugh FearnleyWhittingstall. Hugh turns his attention to junk
food marketing techniques. Last in the series.
See Viewing Guide (AD) 11.45 Sportscene.
Action from the latest Premiership matches
12.45am Joshua v Klitschko: Return to
Wembley. Anthony Joshua and Wladimir
Klitschko meet for the first time since their
fight 1.30 Weather for the Week Ahead
1.35-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 10.30pm BBC Wales Live.
Weekly show featuring hard-hitting stories and
in-depth interviews 11.05 Joshua v Klitschko:
Return to Wembley. Anthony Joshua and
Wladimir Klitschko meet for the first time
since their fight 11.50 Ambulance. The
specialist trauma team attend a series of
serious incidents (r) 12.55am Weather for
the Week Ahead 1.00-6.00 BBC News
BBC Two N Ireland
As BBC Two except: 10.00pm-10.30
Spotlight. Investigations into social and
political issues (r) 11.15 Detectorists. Lance is
persuaded to try hypnotherapy for an awkward
affliction (r) (AD) 11.45 Syria: The World’s
War. Two-part documentary about the civil war
in Syria (r) 12.45am-1.15 BBC News
BBC Two Scotland
As BBC Two except: 2.30pm Politics Scotland.
A round-up of political news 3.30-4.15 Going
Back, Giving Back. In Oxfordshire, Aled Jones
sees the dogs that have been trained to help
children with disabilities (r)
BBC Four
E4
More4
Film4
ITV2
7.00pm Beyond 100 Days; Weather
7.30 Danceworks: Choreographing History.
Exploring the artistic process behind Shobana
Jeyasingh’s dance piece Contagion
8.00 George III: The Genius of the Mad King.
Robert Hardman uses the personal papers
of the monarch to shed new light on
Britain’s longest-reigning king (AD)
9.00 Elizabeth I’s Secret Agents. Robert Cecil
learns of a Catholic conspiracy to blow-up
Parliament and must negotiate warring factions
to prevent what would become known as the
Gunpowder Plot. Last in the series (AD)
10.00 Vive La Revolution! Joan Bakewell on
May ’68. A look at the protest that took place in
France in 1968. See Viewing Guide (AD)
11.00 Timeshift: Mods, Rockers and Bank
Holiday Mayhem. Recalling events in 1964, when
large groups who identified with two disparate
subcultures sparked violent confrontations (1/6)
12.00 Tankies: Tank Heroes of World War II.
Presented by Mark Urban (1/2) (AD) 1.00am
Top of the Pops: 1983 2.05 Danceworks:
Choreographing History 2.35-3.35 Vive La
Revolution! Joan Bakewell on May ’68 (AD, SL)
6.00am Hollyoaks (AD) 7.00 Couples Come
Dine with Me 8.00 How I Met Your Mother (AD)
9.00 New Girl (AD) 10.00 2 Broke Girls (AD)
11.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (AD) 12.00 The
Goldbergs (AD) 1.00pm The Big Bang Theory
(AD) 2.00 How I Met Your Mother (AD) 3.00
New Girl (AD) 4.00 Brooklyn Nine-Nine (AD)
5.00 The Goldbergs (AD)
6.00 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
6.30 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
7.00 Hollyoaks. Milo lies to Cindy (AD)
7.30 Black-ish. Ruby gets scammed (AD)
8.00 The Goldbergs. Barry gets the chance to
throw the first pitch at a baseball game (AD)
8.30 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
9.00 The 100. New series. Clarke struggles to
survive on the desolate, planet surface (AD)
10.00 Timeless. The team visit Texas to save
the legacy of blues legend Robert Johnson
11.00 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
11.30 The Big Bang Theory (AD)
11.55 First Dates. Two Olympic athletes (AD)
1.00am Tattoo Fixers (AD) 2.05 The 100
(AD) 2.45 Timeless 3.30 The Goldbergs (AD)
4.40 Couples Come Dine with Me
8.55am Food Unwrapped (AD) 9.30 A Place in
the Sun: Winter Sun 11.35 Four in a Bed
2.10pm Come Dine with Me 4.50 A Place in the
Sun: Winter Sun 5.55 A New Life in the Sun
6.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo. A giant anteater
is about to be reunited with his long-term mate,
but falls ill and faces a major operation (AD)
7.55 Grand Designs. GP Peter Berkin and his
wife Chard, an alternative medicine practitioner,
have decided to build a new home at the bottom
of their garden, near Milton Keynes, but cannot
agree on any part of the design (3/10) (AD)
9.00 Building the Dream. Charlie Luxton visits
East Yorkshire, where Nick and Jane are
transforming a bungalow into a contemporary
home on a very small budget (2/6) (AD)
10.05 24 Hours in A&E. A 91-year-old is
airlifted to hospital after a car crash which
required him to be cut from his car (AD)
11.05 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
Jon Richardson and Chris Addison take
on Joe Wilkinson and Katherine Ryan
12.10am Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA
1.10 24 Hours in A&E (AD) 2.10 Building the
Dream (AD) 3.15-3.55 8 Out of 10 Cats
11.00am Guadalcanal Diary (PG, 1943)
Second World War drama starring Preston Foster
(b/w) 12.50pm Hondo (PG, 1953) Western
starring John Wayne 2.30 Crash Dive (PG,
1943) Romantic wartime drama starring Tyrone
Power and Anne Baxter 4.40 Arrowhead (U,
1953) Western starring Charlton Heston
7.00 The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (12,
2007) A teenager embarks on a perilous quest
to prevent dark forces seizing the six parts of a
mystical artefact. Fantasy adventure starring
Alexander Ludwig and Christopher Eccleston
9.00 A Walk in the Woods (15, 2015)
A travel writer goes on a trek across the
Appalachian Trail, accompanied by a friend
looking to escape his debts. Fact-based drama
starring Robert Redford and Nick Nolte (AD)
11.05 AVP: Alien vs Predator (15, 2004)
Scientists are caught up in a battle between two
races of deadly extraterrestrial creatures in a
mysterious pyramid. Sci-fi thriller starring
Sanaa Lathan and Lance Henriksen (AD)
12.55am-3.40 Q&A (18, 1990) An assistant
district attorney uncovers police corruption.
Thriller with Nick Nolte and Timothy Hutton
6.00am The Planet’s Funniest Animals 6.20
Totally Bonkers Guinness World Records 7.10
Who’s Doing the Dishes? 7.55 Emmerdale (AD)
8.25 The Cube 9.25 The Ellen DeGeneres Show
10.20 The Bachelorette 12.15pm Emmerdale
(AD) 12.45 You’ve Been Framed! Gold 1.45 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.35 The Jeremy Kyle
Show 6.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
6.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
7.00 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
7.30 You’ve Been Framed! Gold
8.00 Two and a Half Men. Walden invites
actress Lynda Carter over for dinner
8.30 Superstore. Amy turns a boring Christmas
Eve at Cloud 9 into a holiday adventure (AD)
9.00 FILM: Hercules (12, 2014) The
legendary hero leads a band of mercenaries in
a battle to restore a deposed king to his throne.
Mythological adventure starring Dwayne
Johnson and Ian McShane (AD)
11.05 Family Guy (AD)
11.30 Family Guy (AD)
12.00 Family Guy (AD) 12.30am American Dad!
(AD) 1.25 Two and a Half Men 1.55 Superstore
(AD) 2.20 Teleshopping 5.50 ITV2 Nightscreen
ITV3
ITV4
Dave
Drama
Yesterday
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.50
Heartbeat (AD) 7.55 The Royal 8.55 Judge Judy
10.20 A Touch of Frost 12.30pm The Royal
1.35 Heartbeat (AD) 2.40 Classic Coronation
Street 3.45 On the Buses 4.50 You’re Only
Young Twice 5.20 George and Mildred 5.55
Heartbeat. A blackmailer strikes (AD)
7.00 Murder, She Wrote. Amateur sleuth
Jessica is kidnapped at an airport (AD)
8.00 Agatha Christie’s Poirot. The detective
investigates the murder of an elderly
psychiatrist, and an old friend is pressed to
uncover the truth behind two deaths (AD)
10.00 The Street. A demolition man leaves his
wife and teenage children at home when he goes
away to work, but a sexual encounter with a
fellow worker has devastating repercussions.
Vincent Regan and Julia Ford star (3/6)
11.20 The Street. A night out ends in tragedy
when Gary Parr attacks a taxi driver — but it is
his cousin, Ian, who is arrested, leading to
conflict between their mothers (4/6)
12.40am Agatha Christie’s Marple (AD) 2.15
ITV3 Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
6.00am The Chase 6.50 Pawn Stars 7.35
Ironside 8.35 Quincy ME 9.35 Minder (AD)
10.40 The Saint 11.45 The Avengers 12.55pm
The Protectors 1.30 Live ITV Racing from
Chester. Ed Chamberlin and Francesca Cumani
introduce coverage of the opening day of the
May Festival, featuring races at 1.50, 2.25,
3.00 and 3.35. With commentary by Richard
Hoiles 4.00 The Saint 5.00 The Avengers
6.05 Cash Cowboys. A mechanical horse
7.05 Pawn Stars. A Christmas party in the shop
7.30 Pawn Stars. An original Dali painting
8.00 British Superbike Championship Highlights.
Action from Oulton Park, featuring two races
9.00 The Motorbike Show. Henry Cole reveals
the Norton redesign to Stuart Garner
10.00 FILM: RoboCop 3 (18, 1993) The
cyborg joins rebel forces fighting against a
corporation’s sinister plans for the city of
Detroit. Sci-fi thriller sequel starring Robert
Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn and John Castle
12.10am The Americans (AD) 1.10 Lethal
Weapon (AD) 2.05 Bear Grylls: Mission Survive
2.55 ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
6.00am Home Shopping 7.10 Top Gear (AD)
8.10 American Pickers 9.00 Storage Hunters
10.00 American Pickers 1.00pm QI XL 2.00 Top
Gear (AD) 3.00 World’s Most Dangerous Roads
4.00 Steve Austin’s Broken Skull Challenge 5.00
Top Gear. China’s expanding car industry (AD)
6.00 Taskmaster. The rivals find themselves
confronted by the Mayor of Chesham
7.00 QI XL. With John Bishop, Frank Skinner,
Sean Lock and Alan Davies. Stephen Fry hosts
8.00 QI XL. Sandi Toksvig invites Aisling Bea,
Corey Taylor and Ross Noble and Alan Davies to
answer questions associated with nosey and
noisy in the comedy panel game
9.00 Taskmaster. With Liza Tarbuck,
Alice Levine and Asim Chaudhry
10.00 Room 101. With Clive Anderson,
Alex Jones and Jack Whitehall
10.40 Live at the Apollo. Comedy sets by Hal
Cruttenden, Justin Moorhouse and Tom Stade
11.40 QI XL. Extended edition. With Victoria
Coren Mitchell and Jack Whitehall
12.40am Mock the Week 2.00 QI XL 3.00 The
Last Man on Earth (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
7.10am The Bill 8.00 London’s Burning (AD)
9.00 Casualty (AD) 10.00 Juliet Bravo 11.00
The Bill 12.00 Lovejoy 1.00pm Last of the
Summer Wine 1.40 Hi-de-Hi! 2.20 Are You
Being Served? 3.00 London’s Burning (AD)
4.00 You Rang, M’Lord? 5.00 Lovejoy
6.00 Hi-de-Hi! Joe Maplin’s plans for expansion
cause chaos with the Yellowcoats
6.40 Are You Being Served? Mr Grainger dreads
his imminent retirement
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Hobbo
continues his quest to find a man for Stella
8.00 Dalziel & Pascoe. Dalziel visits a quiet
village pub only to become one of the hostages
in an armed siege, and must do what he can to
avert disaster as events spiral out of control.
With Dennis Waterman (7 & 8/8) (AD)
10.00 New Tricks. Sandra and the team try to
unmask an assassin killing off the men who took
part in a covert MI5 operation 30 years earlier
— a mission involving Strickland (9/10) (AD)
11.20 Birds of a Feather. Tracey goes on a diet
12.00 The Bill 1.00am Juliet Bravo 2.15
Oliver Twist (AD) 4.00 Home Shopping
6.00am Tales of Irish Castles 7.10 Who Do You
Think You Are? (AD) 8.00 Time Team 9.00
Coast (AD) 10.00 Cash in the Attic 11.00
Impossible Engineering (AD) 12.00 Time
Team 1.00pm Planet Earth (AD) 2.00 The Blue
Planet (AD) 3.00 Coast (AD) 4.00 Medieval
Dead 5.00 Impossible Engineering (AD)
6.00 The World at War. Factors influencing
America’s decision to support Britain
7.00 A Tale of Two Sisters. The political divide
between sisters Jessica and Diane Mitford (AD)
8.00 Secrets of Britain. Exploring the history of
Westminster Abbey, which dates back to the
11th century and houses more than 500 corpses
9.00 Porridge. The inmates decide on a wager
as the parole board gathers
9.40 Porridge. Godber revises for an exam
10.20 Porridge. Godber gets into a fight
11.00 dinnerladies. A convict escapes in
the fog on his way to Strangeways (AD)
11.40 dinnerladies. The staff have a
bet on Bren’s chances with Tony (AD)
12.20am dinnerladies (AD) 1.05 The World at
War 2.05 Black Ops (AD) 3.00 Home Shopping
STV
As ITV except: 10.30pm Scotland Tonight
11.05 Sunday Night at the Palladium.
Featuring Art Garfunkel, Jimmy Tarbuck, Sarah
Millican, Diversity and the Pierces (r) 12.05am
Teleshopping 2.05 After Midnight. News and
conversation 3.35 ITV Nightscreen 4.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (r) 5.00-6.00 Teleshopping
UTV
As ITV except: 10.45pm-11.45 The Spirit of
Northern Ireland Awards. Highlights from the
2018 Spirit of Northern Ireland award ceremony
(r) 1.00am Teleshopping 2.30-3.00 ITV
Nightscreen. Text-based information service
BBC Alba
5.00pm Peppa (r) 5.10 Oran le Fiona (r) 5.15
Creag nam Buthaidean (Puffin Rock) (r) 5.25
Ben & Hoilidh san Rioghachd Bhig (Ben &
Holly’s Little Kingdom) (r) 5.50 Treud na Dluthchoille: Grad-Naidheachd (Jungle Bunch) (r)
5.52 Seonaidh (Shaun the Sheep) 6.00 Sràid
nan Sgread (Scream Street) (r) 6.15 Dragonan:
Reis chun an iomaill (Dragons: Race to the
Edge) (r) 6.35 Donnie Murdo (Danger Mouse)
(r) 7.00 Stoidhle (The Dressing Up Box) (r)
7.30 Speaking Our Language (r) 7.55 Horo
Gheallaidh Shorts (Celtic Music Shorts) (r)
8.00 An Là (News) 8.30 Leugh Mi (Book
Show) (r) 9.00 ’Am Balach MacCuidhein:
McQueen of Scots (r) 10.00 Seòid a’ Chidsin:
The Kitchen Coves 10.30 Trusadh (Compelling
Stories) (r) 11.30-12.00midnight Port (r)
S4C
6.00am Cyw 11.00 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: 123 (r)
11.15 Dysgu Gyda Cyw: Heini (r) 11.30 Dysgu
Gyda Cyw: Y Diwrnod Mawr (r) 11.45 Dysgu
Gyda Cyw: Dwylo’r Enfys (r) 12.00 News S4C
a’r Tywydd 12.05pm Crwydro (r) (AD) 12.30 Y
Ty Arian (r) 1.30 Garddio a Mwy (r) 2.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 3.05 Pengelli (r) 3.30 Tro
Breizh Lyn Ebenezer (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr 5.00
Stwnsh: Ffeil 5.05 Hendre Hurt (r) 5.25 Lois
yn Erbyn Anni (r) 5.35 Llond Ceg (r) 6.00 News
S4C a’r Tywydd 6.05 Her yr Hinsawdd (r) (AD)
6.30 Mwy o Sgorio 7.00 Heno 8.00 Pobol y
Cwm. Dani gives Wendy a piece of her mind
(AD) 8.25 Wil ac Aeron: Taith Rwmania. Wil
Hendreseifion and Aeron Pughe spend time
with Romany Gypsies 9.00 News 9 a’r Tywydd
9.30 Elis James: Cic Lan Yr Archif 10.00
Llanifeiliaid (r) (AD) 10.30 Kyffin Williams (r)
11.00-11.35 Cadw Cwmni gyda John Hardy (r)
14
Wednesday May 9 2018 | the times
1G T
MindGames
2
3
4
5
13
6
7
8
20
12
9
9
6
13
3
11
3
7
24
10
12
20
9
2
5
24
14
12
13
14
15
17
18
19
25
21
9
3
21
24
20
3
24
3
25
7
23
20
5
7
16
14
19
7
Train Tracks No 403
19
5
11
7
16
18
26
4
1
3
1
9
21
20
11
15
10
2
9
4
A
11
5
5
20
25
3
5
16
3
4
4
2
6
7
24
16
4
24
15
14
7
3
21
9
1
8
20
24
5
3
15
17
7
13
24
13
B
B
2
21
20
18
19
7
7
7
3
Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to
village B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail
go in each row and column. There are only straight rails
and curved rails. The track cannot cross itself.
23
2
Frolic (6)
In addition (4)
Go by; mountain route (4)
Slow to act (8)
The US personified (5,3)
Ship's workers (4)
Saunter (6)
Solution to Crossword 7646
S I DE K I
A O
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T ARAN T
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A S YN T
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4
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24
1
5
8
9
10
11
12
5
19
21
Across
2
19
24
22
6
4
6
20
24
1
11
16
5
15
2
18
23
17
2
2
22
9
11
11
9
14 Sewing instrument (6)
16 Raised platform (4)
18 Innkeeper (8)
20 Football match horn (8)
21 London district (4)
22 Outdoor charity do (4)
23 Dull, depressing (6)
7
7
19
25
9
7
25
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
Fill the grid so
that every
column, every
row and every
3x2 box contains
the digits 1 to 6
B
M
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number
from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use
the letters already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter
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alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.
Yesterday’s solution, right
In opposition to (7)
Aromatic herb (5)
Type of orchid (5,7)
Particular object (7)
Perform duties for (5)
Wild clematis (3,4,5)
Not distinct (7)
Tanned hide (7)
Bright blue (5)
Topic for debate (5)
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Lexica No 4255
S
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KenKen Medium No 4323
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Kakuro No 2127
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM
<
All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top lefthand corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the
block, using the operation indicated by the symbol.
20
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Down
2
3
4
5
6
7
13
15
17
19
18
∨
∧
23
24
7
16
20
<
17
40
6
26
2
>
Fill the grid using
the numbers 1 to 9
only. The numbers
in each horizontal
or vertical run of
white squares add
up to the total in
the triangle to its
left or above it.
The same number
may occur more
than once in a row
or column, but not
within the same
run of white
squares.
3
10
16
16
13
6
16
9
17
32
25
21
16
7
4
27
7
7
4
3
15
>
6
33
4
<
18
36
<
>
24
<
Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.
14
23
17
6
7
23
16
7
20
23
24
4
10
© PUZZLER MEDIA
1
Codeword No 3331
© PUZZLER MEDIA
times2 Crossword No 7647
the times | Wednesday May 9 2018
15
1G T
MindGames
This year’s US Women’s Championship was a strong 12-player allplay-all with an impressive total
of $100,000 in prize money. It is
admirable that events such as the
US Championships and the Gibraltar Masters are making great
efforts to promote women’s chess.
The hallmark of many leading
female grandmasters is a tremendous spirit of aggression, as can
be seen from the whirlwind attack
in this game.
White: Nazi Paikidze
Black: Anna Sharevich
US Women’s Championship,
St Louis 2018
Caro-Kann Defence
1 e4 c6 2 Nc3 d5 3 Nf3 Bg4 4 h3
Bxf3 5 Qxf3 d4 6 Ne2 e6 7 d3 Nf6
8 g4 Na6 9 Bg2 Qa5+ 10 c3 Rd8 11
0-0 dxc3 12 bxc3 Nc5 13 d4
A dangerous pawn sacrifice to
exploit Black’s poor development.
13 ... Ncxe4 14 c4 Nd2 15 Bxd2
Qxd2 16 Rfd1 Qg5
Wrong direction. Black must
play 16 ... Qa5 in order to shore up
the defences on the queenside
with a subsequent ... Qc7.
17 Qb3 Rd7 18 d5 cxd5 19 cxd5
________
á D Dkg 4]
à0pDrDp0p]
ß D Dph D]
ÞD DPD 1 ]
Ý D D DPD]
ÜDQD D DP]
ÛPD DN)BD]
Ú$ DRD I ]
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ
19 ... e5
A further mistake of the same
nature as the error on move 16.
Black shuts out her own queen
from the defence. Correct is 19 ...
exd5 20 Rac1 Be7 21 Rc8+ Bd8 22
Qa3 (as in the game) but now 22
... Qe5, when Black can defend.
20 Rac1 Be7 21 Rc8+ Bd8 22 Qa3
h5 23 f4 exf4 24 Nd4 Qe5 25 Nf5
Nxd5 26 Bxd5 Rxd5 27 Qa4+
Black resigns
White has a fine finish after 27
... b5. See today’s Winning Move.
EASY
MEDIUM
HARDER
56 – 7 x 2 + 4 ÷ 3 x 2 + 8
212
+1/2
OF IT
x3
– 74
x 2 + 992
17 SQUARE
IT
– 48
70%
OF IT
x 3 – 873
2
½
*
0
½
0
½
1
0
½
0
0
0
3
½
1
*
0
½
0
½
1
½
0
0
0
4
½
½
1
*
0
½
½
½
½
0
½
0
5
1
1
½
1
*
½
0
½
0
0
0
0
6
1
½
1
½
½
*
½
0
0
1
0
½
7
1
0
½
½
1
½
*
1
0
½
½
½
8
1
1
0
½
½
1
0
*
0
1
1
½
9
½
½
½
½
1
1
1
1
*
0
0
½
10
½
1
1
1
1
0
½
0
1
*
0
½
11
½
1
1
½
1
1
½
0
1
1
*
0
12
1
1
1
1
1
½
½
½
½
½
1
*
8
8
7
6½
6½
5½
5
4½
4½
4½
3½
2½
________
á DRgkD 4] Winning Move
à0 D Dp0 ]
ß D D D D] White to play. This position is a variation
today’s game Paikidze-Sharevich, St
ÞDpDr1NDp] from
Louis 2018.
ÝQD D 0PD] Black had already thrown in the towel
ÜD D D DP] here, having anticipated White’s fine
ÛPD D D D] finish. What had she foreseen?
ÚD DRD I ] For up-to-the-minute information, follow
ÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈ my tweets on twitter.com/times_chess.
Partner has opened 1NT (or 2NT).
KQ 4 3 2
The basic idea of Transfers is to Dealer: South ♠
♥4 2
bid the suit below your five-card Vul: Neither ♦6 4 3 2
major; partner then has to bid
♣6 3
Two-of-the major (even with two
♠ A 10 8
♠J 9 7
N
♥A 9 8 W E ♥KQ 10 3
small cards), whereupon you can
♦K 8 5
♦Q 9 7
S
describe your hand. In effect, you
♣J 10 9 7 ♠ 6 5
♣K 8 4
as the responder get two successive bids and are therefore able to
♥J 7 6 5
♦A J 10
describe many hands that you
♣AQ 5 2
would be unable to describe if
playing natural methods.
S
W
N
E
Exercise: Partner opens 1NT
1NT
Pass
2♥ (1) Pass
(12-14). What is your plan with
2♠ (2) End
these responding hands?
(1) Transfer to spades, showing any
♠K J 9 8 2 ♠A K 9 8 2 ♠A J 3
strength of hand with five (or more) spades.
♥5 2
♦8 2
♥Q 3
♦K J 9 7 2
♥KQ 7 6 2
♦K 4
♣J432
♣6
♣762
With the first, bid 2♥, showing
any strength of hand with five (or
more) spades. Partner has to bid
2♠ and you’ll pass. You’ll be
dummy now, and it does generally
work slightly better to have the
stronger hand declare. This is far
from the main reason to play
Transfers though — which is the
ability to describe otherwise unbiddable hands, such as our second.
With this second, you’ll bid 2♥,
showing five spades and forcing
partner to “complete the transfer”,
bidding 2♠ . You’ll now bid 3♦,
showing five spades and four or
more diamonds, a sequence best
played as forcing to game. Playing
natural methods, you’d never be
able to describe this hand below
3NT (1NT-3♠ -3NT-P?/4♦?).
andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk
75%
OF IT
OF IT
+ 984
+ 97
+1/2
OF IT
2
From these letters, make words of four
or more letters, always including the
central letter. Answers must be in the
Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending in
LY, comparatives and superlatives.
How you rate 13 words, average;
18, good; 21, very good; 25, excellent
2
3
2
Divide the grid
into square or
rectangular
blocks, each
containing one
digit only.
Every block
must contain
the number of
cells indicated
by the digit
inside it.
12
2
5
7
x
Enter each of
+
x
= 31 the numbers
x
x
+
x
x
8
=
12
from 1 to 9 in
the grid, so
that the six
sums work.
= 14 We’ve placed
two numbers
to get you
started. Each
should be
= 22 sum
calculated left
to right or top
to bottom.
x
9
x
Yesterday’s answers
act, ant, cant, canto, cat, coat, coot, cot,
gat, gnat, goat, not, oat, octagon, onto,
taco, tag, tan, tang, tango, toco, tog,
toga, ton, tong, tonga, too, toon
-
=
46
=
70
Please note, BODMAS does not apply
Killer Tricky No 5997
8
23
21
18
16min
9
G
A
L
A
H
A
D
R A
N
E T
E
Y A
T
Y E
E R
L
L
C OW
W
B Y R
24
23
11
28
18
20
15
Solutions
Quick Cryptic 1086
20
20
20
T E F
O
T
R
T
C I N
I
I NG
R
H
E
T
L
A RD
N O
D M
10
12
24
5
6
3
7
9
8
1
4
2
24
20
21
7
2
8
6
1
4
5
9
3
9
4
1
5
3
2
8
6
7
8
7
6
9
2
1
4
3
5
3
9
5
4
8
6
7
2
1
P Y
R
E R
L
A
T
EM
O
E D
E
U S
T
R Y
P L UCK Y
A
R
H
S Y N T A X
T
K
ACQU I T
U
F L I MS Y
R
E
H
E A T
OV
E
E
P
Z I NC
F
E
O I L
R I ND
Y
Set Square 2129
2
1
4
3
7
5
9
8
6
6
5
2
8
4
7
3
1
9
4
3
7
1
6
9
2
5
8
1
8
9
2
5
3
6
7
4
2
+
7
÷
27
1
x
19
23
54min
13
16
9
7
18
9
17
24
10
21
18
4
26
17
10
20
3
+
+
+
8
x
5
9
7
3
5
2
6
4
8
1
6
8
4
1
3
7
9
2
5
1
6
7
2
9
8
5
4
3
8
3
9
6
4
5
1
7
2
5
4
2
7
1
3
6
9
8
3
1
8
4
7
9
2
5
6
4
2
5
8
6
1
7
3
9
7
9
6
3
5
2
8
1
4
8
7
2
4
5
6
3
9
1
5
1
6
9
3
7
2
4
8
9
4
3
8
1
2
5
7
6
7
5
9
3
6
4
8
1
2
3
2
1
7
8
9
6
5
4
6
8
4
5
2
1
7
3
9
2
9
5
1
7
8
4
6
3
4
6
7
2
9
3
1
8
5
1
3
8
6
4
5
9
2
7
8
12
12
7
7
As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every
column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the
digits 1 to 9. Each set of cells joined by dotted lines
must add up to the target number in its top-left corner.
Within each set of cells joined by dotted lines, a digit
cannot be repeated.
7
8
4
6
3
5
9
2
1
1
9
6
2
7
4
8
5
3
2
5
3
9
1
8
4
7
6
6
2
9
5
4
7
1
3
8
4
1
5
3
8
9
7
6
2
3
7
8
1
2
6
5
4
9
8
6
7
4
9
2
3
1
5
9
3
2
7
5
1
6
8
4
5
4
1
8
6
3
2
9
7
5
9
8
2
1
6
7
3
4
6
3
7
4
5
9
1
8
2
2
8
3
5
4
1
6
7
9
1
7
5
6
9
3
4
2
8
9
4
6
8
2
7
3
5
1
3
2
9
1
7
4
8
6
5
8
5
1
3
6
2
9
4
7
7
6
4
9
8
5
2
1
3
A S T
W
E N E
X
A
AUK
C
E
T E D
L
Y E D
I
D E R
O
T
NGY
1 7 9
5 9 8
5 6
1 3
7
6 5
4 2
8 9 7
6 8 9
9 7
x
1
3
2
7
9
2
6 8
6
6
2 5
1 3
1
7
7 9 4
8 1
6 2
2
7
9
1
8
1
9
8
3
9
5
3 9
1 7
Train Tracks 402
1
Quintagram
1 Honey
2 Midas
3 Parka
4 Liberate
5 Goldfinch
5
1
3
4
6
5
2
4
4
5
2
3
2
-
4
2
3
1 3
9
9
8 1
4 3
8
5 7
8 9
6
A
1
9
D
R
I
A
M
I
N
N
M
R
I
A
A
R
T
Y
T
V
E
A
C
Cell Blocks 3213
Lexica 4254
F
R
H
E
W
3
∧
4
1
2
2
3 < 5 > 1
5
3
2
2
1
∧
5 > 4
1
4
3
5
KenKen 4322
T
H
O
U
O
U
I
D
A
L
N
K
D
B
E
T
Futoshiki 3167
4
E
A
R
14 4
2
4
4
6
6
Suko 2232
Word watch
Brain Trainer
Puna (c) A high
cold dry plateau
in the Andes
Guna (b) In
Sanskrit, a
lengthening of
vowels by using
a prefix
Buna (a) A
synthetic rubber
5
4
∨
1 < 3
2
4
2 3
Easy 35
Medium 581
Harder 4,203
Chess
Killer 5996
4
1
2
7
3
8
5
9
6
G
E
R I NG
G G
S
A
T A L
Y
S
BO L
F
E R J O
W O
J UD
Y
S
S T I
B
Killer 5995
11
17
x
A
Sudoku 9854
8
6
Lexica 4253
Killer Deadly No 5998
15
x
+
Sudoku 9853
2
5
1
9
8
4
3
6
7
Kakuro 2126
Codeword 3330
U L
RO
A
U
EM I ND
A
T H W
I
A C
MA Y H
A
I
A L E N T
A
C
T H
L Y
A
A
I N I S T
Sudoku 9852
(2) Forced bid, completing the transfer.
An opening heart lead, which
East would have found if North
had been declarer (on a non-transfer auction), would have made life
trickier. Played by South, declarer
made an overtrick.
Trick one went ♣J, ♣3, ♣4,
♣Q. At trick two, declarer led ♠ 5
to ♠ Q. He then led ♦2 to ♦10.
West won ♦K and led ♣10.
Winning ♣A, declarer led up ♠ 6.
West won ♠ A and led ♣7,
declarer ruffing and cashing ♠ K,
pleased to see the 3-3 split. He now
led ♦3 to ♦J, the second diamond
finesse winning, and cashed ♦A,
pleased to see the 3-3 split. He
ruffed ♣5, cashed ♦6 and merely
gave up the last two tricks in
hearts — nine tricks and contract
made plus one.
OF IT
3
4
Set Square No 2130
16
With the third, bid 2♦ (transfer
to hearts) then follow (over
partner’s 2♥) with 3NT, offering a
choice between 3NT and 4♥ —
perfect.
+ 75
2/
3
OF IT
4 3
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Bridge Andrew Robson
Taking your bridge to...
The Next Level
3. Transfers
(i) Basic Idea
8
7/
9
Polygon
US Women’s Chess Championship, St Louis 2018
1
1 Paikidze
*
2 Wang
½
3 Krush
½
4 Zatonskih ½
5 Yu
0
6 Abrahamyan 0
7 Foisor
0
8 Sharevich
0
9 Gorti
½
10 Feng
½
11 Goletiani
½
12 Derakhshani 0
+7
OF IT
90%
OF IT
7/
1/
2
ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER
Just rewards
Cell Blocks No 3214
Brain Trainer
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Chess Raymond Keene
1 Qxb5+! wins as
1 ... Rxb5 2 Rcxd8
is mate
Quiz
1 Roald Dahl 2 Andrex. It was first produced there
3 Gianni Versace 4 Strangers on a Train 5 The Dark
Tower — from Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came
6 Dublin. He was Archbishop of Dublin 1162-1180
7 HMS Hood. It was sunk by the Bismarck 8 Tivoli
Gardens 9 Edwin Hubble 10 Costa Rica 11 Kiribati 12
Lahore 13 Chaos 14 Viacheslav Fetisov 15 Ring-necked
parakeet or rose-ringed parakeet (Psittacula krameri)
09.05.18
MindGames
Difficult No 9855
Fill the grid so that every
column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains
the digits 1 to 9.
6
4
Word watch
Josephine
Balmer
Puna
a An Indian snack
b A wildcat
c A plateau
Guna
a A percussion
instrument
b Lengthening a vowel
c Fertiliser
Buna
a Synthetic rubber
b An onion
c Good fortune
Answers on page 15
Fiendish No 9856
Super fiendish No 9857
3
9
7
3 8 6
1
6
2
3 5
4 2 7
5
4
1 2 7
3
4
3
2
9
8 7 6
PUZZLER MEDIA
Sudoku
4 9
2
3
8 7
6
5
2
1
6 2 7 4
7 5
1
6 3
1
9
4 9 8
1
7
6 3
9 1
7
2
7 6
1
4 3
5 7
2 5
5
9 6
8 1
8
4
5
9
6
Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 322 5005 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s
puzzles. Calls cost 75p plus your telephone company’s network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm).
The Times Daily Quiz Olav Bjortomt
Suko No 2232
JACK HILL FOR THE TIMES
1 The illustrator Sir
Quentin Blake is
associated primarily with
which writer (1916-90)?
country that is situated
in all four hemispheres?
12 Commissioned by
the Mughal emperor
Aurangzeb, the
Badshahi Mosque is in
which city in Pakistan?
2 Which toilet tissue
brand took its name
from St Andrew Mills,
Walthamstow?
3 Season two of American
Crime Story is about the
assassination of which
fashion designer?
15
6 St Laurence O’Toole
(1128-80) is a patron saint
of which capital city?
4 Guy Haines (Farley
Granger) and Bruno
Antony (Robert
Walker) decide to “swap
murders” in which
Hitchcock film?
7 Sunk during the Battle
of the Denmark Strait on
May 24, 1941, what was
the last battlecruiser
built for the Royal Navy?
5 The title of which
fantasy series by Stephen
King comes from a poem
by Robert Browning?
8 Which pleasure
garden opened in
Copenhagen on
August 15, 1843?
9 Which American
explained his
approaches to
extragalactic astronomy
in The Realm of the
Nebulae (1936)?
10 Which Central
American country
abolished its army
in 1948?
11 Which Pacific
nation is the only
13 Charlotte Stockdale
and Katie Lyall
launched which
Pimlico-based
luxury accessories
brand in 2016?
14 Which 1997 and 1998
Stanley Cup winner
with Detroit became
Russia’s sports agency
head in 2002?
15 Which bird — the
UK’s only wild parrot
— is pictured?
Answers on page 15
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the
spaces so that the number in each
circle is equal to the sum of the four
surrounding spaces, and each colour
total is correct
The Times Quick Cryptic No 1087 by Joker
1
2
3
8
4
5
13
14
16
22
7
11
12
9
10
19
6
15
17
20
18
21
23
Across
1 Ankle was broken in a ballet
(4,4)
6 Haywain, say, seen in the
foremost of Constable’s
paintings? (4)
8 Cook using British fuel (4)
9 Riding skill is habit that comes
with maturity (8)
10 What some shy writers use,
wanting pounds without
celebrity (3,5)
11 Cyclops, perhaps, captured by
two Greeks (4)
13 Gingerbread’s on cabbage
salad as a rule for workers
(10,3)
16 Metal wire (4)
17 Low-cut trousers —
fashionable, small and mostly
short (8)
19 Second group of girls making
treacle (8)
21 Snooker ball in plant (4)
22 Lyric poems in more than one
style, devoid of metre (4)
23 Approved sellers disposing of
five English diamonds (8)
Down
2 Sell a lot of miserable places in
most of the Principality (9)
3 Material used in many
longerons (5)
4 Moaned awfully about start of
bloating in belly (7)
5 Odds? Yes and no (5)
6 Conservative, primarily,
so must get working for
established behaviours (7)
7 Apparatus is correct after
eliminating high tension (3)
(5)
12 Back diversity and change (9)
14 Takes away from slippery
skidpan (7)
15 Faced work sitting for a artist
(7)
17 Really dislike admitting son’s
inconsiderate speed (5)
18 Thanks for each firelighter (5)
20 Golf’s abandoned winner’s
medal that’s long-established
(3)
Yesterday’s solution on page 15
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