dd £2.75 19-May-18 Cover gifts may vary. Competitions open to UK residents only, unless otherwise stated. ddddddddddddd AUS $4.95, NZ $5.99 UK Off-sale date — 23/05/2018 to the church, dennis! We’ll be the best party ever! throne AOIFE AND CIARA FROM CLANE ARE... aoife is super-strong! ciara is super-fast! we’re always doing helpful tasks around beanotown… o n a e B O #S i got your CAt down from the tree for you! that’s not my cat! meow?! hello, i’m ciara and this is my sister, aoife… …and we’re the superheroes, the tulip twins! the running track was only for this field, ciara! i marked the new running track out in record time, coach! then there’s our greatest superpower of all... …confusing new teachers! for the last time, which one of you is aoife? my cabbages! that’s me! No, it’s definitely me! ? o n a e WANT TO BE #SOB Next week, it could be YOU! If you’re chosen to be #SOBeano, you’ll get to pick the best jokes and pranks, award someone the Golden #SOBeano, read the comic strips before anyone else, and loads more! The egg is hidden somewhere in the pages of your Beano. Can you crack the case and spot it? Email us at: Make sure you tell us: 1 The story Big Eggo’s egg is in! 2 firstname.lastname@example.org Your all-time favourite joke! 3 Your name, date of birth, your parent or guardian’s name and phone number! Don’t forget to include a photo too! For blamtastic quizzes, comics and puzzles, go to beano.com/beanotown The winner will be chosen at random by the Beano team. You must obtain permission from your parent or guardian before entering. For our full competition T&Cs, visit https://www.dctmedia.co.uk/brands/beano/ or send a stamped addressed envelope to Beano Marketing, Copy of your Competition Terms, D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ. The chicken definitely came before the egg, but what about the Eggo? Last week’s egg was in Minnie the Minx! ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS FIND BIG EGGO’S EGG! morning, class! i hope you all remembered to bring in your bicycles for your cycling tests! we did remember, teach! see? wah! you’re not supposed to bring them into the classroom! take them outside! WORDS: ANDY FANTON ART: DAVID SUTHERLAND hee-hee! so… just let me give your bikes a quick inspection. fatty, are you sure this bike is yours? i’m just going to test my bike, sir… really quickly! um... yes? i see you two have brought a tandem! but it says ‘pizza hutch’ on it. it’s the perfect bike for twins! double the power! erm... that’s my middle name? hey! that’s my bike! we’ll show you by doing a quick lap. come back here! don’t go that way, go round the other way! who’s steering here? grr! your steering stinks! i can’t stand backseat riders! let me check your safety gear. has everyone got a helmet? yup! i’ve got my helmet, miss! of course! gah! my eyes! that’s a miner’s helmet, smiffy! sigh! if only those two could work in tandem! i want you to show me your skills. we’ll try riding in a straight line up to that wall! yeeowch! no worries! oops! i do apologise, madam! this has been a disaster so far! i need to break the cycle! puff! pant! look out! uh-oh… careful what you wish for, teach… look! no, fatty! we really did break the cycle! what’ll we do now? oof! i think i’m saddle sore! ooh! don’t worry, teacher! i can fix this in a jiffy! so… there we go! i think i did a pretty good job! i call it a ten-dem! chuckle! come on, teacher! pedal! chomp! i never knew bicycle tests could be so tasty! i think teacher is tyred out! chuckle! What did the sphinx say after a nightmare? ‘Where’s my mummy?!’ PR AN K -C YC LE ! : WHAT TO DO ur friend Here’s how to prank yo y quiet by turning their normall bike! bike into a noisy motor 1 YOU’LL NEED: l A piece of plastic – like a margarine tu b lid l Duct tape l A bike – obviously! 2 Cut a piece of plastic from your lid using the template below. Make sure the plastic isn’t too stiff or it may bend the spokes. 3 4 Using the duct tape, secure it to the back fork of the bike. Make sure it’s sticking through the spokes quite a bit. why does my bike sound… …SO AWESOME?! You can stick a bit of plastic on the front fork too in the same way. TEMPLATE nd uses When your frie they’ll , their bike next it’s y h w wonder ding like suddenly soun e! a motorbik there’s a lot going on in edd’s head… …on the inside, this is happening! edd has the morning stares… this happens when the outside of edd is awake, but… brainy’s drool drips onto the electronics… blergh su trrb! arr mlr blong! he’s awake now! – ed bleed ba urk blindy blup! translation: ‘ow! my tongue!’ edd blinks moments before his eyeballs dry out... blungy! blunp! translation: ‘blergh, so tired!’ translation: ‘need to wake blinky up!’ translation: ‘we shouldn’t have let edd stay up till midnight watching youtube!’ ble bulrnt ob blet edd blay ub bill mib blight blotching blu bloob! eh? WORDS & ART: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE translation: ’blinky! blink!’ bleh blo blur blaby mur gog! sorry! i’ve no idea! – ed five minutes later and it’s time for brainy and the numskulls to get edd off to school… use a spoon, edd! let’s just calm down for a second… What’s the quietest sport? Bowling, because you can hear a pin drop! WORDS & ART: PAUL PALMER DANGEROUS DAN Beanotown’s TOP secret agent! this new telescope of yours is amazing! it’s so powerful i can spy on enemy agents inside a locked building on a remote mountain top covered in cloud hundreds of miles away! i know! so why aren’t you using it? are you kidding? it’s 50 pence a go! big eggo Will he ever find his egg? terry tuff is still trying to catch big eggo… ha! big eggo won’t outrun me now i’ve bought a sports car! i won’t have to outrun your car, terry, i can outwalk it! ha-ha! WORDS & ART: LEW STRINGER 0-60mph in four seconds, the salesman said! gah! traffic jam! oo-er! tricky dicky Beanotown’s TOP trickster! could i take those boxes to the recycling bin for you, mr har-har? mr throbb’s giving us tests all day today. i’ll pop into mr har-har’s joke shop to see if there’s a prank to get us out of them. WORDS: JD SAVAGE ART: LAURA HOWELL ah, my best customer! what can i do for you today, dicky? in class… er… sure. thanks! arrgh! he must be planning an all-out prank war! that’s dicky! and it looks like he’s bought every joke in the joke shop! so… if i make sure mr throbb sees me on my way into school… when dicky arrives… mr throbb had to leave suddenly. he said he wasn’t feeling well at all! hee-hee! no tests for us! 18 0 2 , Y A M 8TH 1 Y A D I R F yed I pla k n a r p , s y r hi Dear Dia b really FELT t b Mr Thro t tip pens! el on his f 1 le ns whi e p p i t t. elt d the f kept lookou e w o r r e f I bo nd Aoi Ciara a 2 YOU’LL NEED: l Clear nail varnish l Felt tip pens We coated the nibs of the felt tips in the nail varnish. grr! 3 Then I put th e pens back . 4 the to use e d e i r t d th obb Mr Thr idn’t work an his n e h W ed at they d pens, class laugh ! whole ex-PEN-se to get the nail varnish off the pen’s nib, just use nail varnish remover and the pen will work again! YOU’RE Nothing is more eye-catching than my handsome face, but these photos come close! Send in your own pictures for a chance to win a prize! Share your OBeano Tell us your #N into epic fail, we’ll turn it in a a cartoon and you’ll w ere’s prize for owning up! H . Esther from Finchley I was walking home from school and was so busy texting my friend that I walked head-first into a pole! Texting and walking is a #NOBeano! Arthur from Hove wins our Golden #SOBeano because he knows that Beano comes first… and so does food! moments! These steps are out of bounds! mics, With her staircase of co the only way is up for Hannah from Dunlop! Charlie from Woodford Green is teaching his dog Teddy to be a menace hound! I only play in the key of B! Cato from Eastcote’s Beanos help him hit all the right notes! Gnashing and sausages… got it! Cardboard boxes are always useful Ollie from Haslemere has created a Beano shop with his! It’s right on target! Are you #SOBeano? Send your photos, jokes, drawings and letters along with your name, date of birth, parent or guardian’s name, address and contact details to: #SOBeano, Beano, DC Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ SOBeano@beano.com NOBeano@beano.com Join Dennis on his biggest adventure yet in Dennis and the Chamber of Mischief, a brand new book full of epic quests and hilarious mishaps! Every menace on this page has won their very own copy! s an Lucas from Brough ha e by awesome catapult, mad ! his big brother Fraser Please note we can’t return pictures or photographs, so send a copy if the original www.beano.com is important to you. For our full competition T&Cs visit www.beano.com/terms-andconditions/#competitionrules or send a stamped addressed envelope to Beano Marketing, Copy of your Competition Terms, D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ. Prizes may vary from those shown and please allow 28 days for delivery. beano.com/shop and so… those caterpillars sound awesome! what a cool looking fella! i’ll call him cyril! eat all my veg, will you? your mum will get the bill! crikey! cyril must be hungry. probably because he comes from hungary! yee-hee! that tickles! that’ll cost a fortune! you’re a bad caterpillar! hee-hee-hee-hee! you’re making fun of my moustache! phew! lost him! i’ll teach you a lesson! eek! help! WORDS & ART: LESLIE STANNAGE back home… …he’s made a cocoon! in the morning… i can’t wait to see cyril turn into a beautiful butterfly! yawn! that was all your fault, cyril! wait a minute… arrgh! cyril’s not a hungarian butterfly, he’s a hungry vampire moth! mumsie! How did the lambs travel to space? By rocket sheep! ADVERTISEMENT AS SEEN ON E R ’ Y E H T … K C BA To play games, watch videos and find out more go to Beano.com/Dennis i’ve never noticed this shop before! what do you sell? sigh. do you know how many times i’ve heard that joke from you kids today? look, do you want to sell me a megaphone or not? i so can. but i’ll need to test it first. WORDS: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE ART: NIGEL PARKINSON i don’t think you can afford one. meanwhile, at beanotown’s top secret research centre… is the ‘do-what-i-sayer’ finished yet? almost. as you can see, it makes a snazzy green flash but it still doesn’t make people do what you say! ! ZAP do you have any bones? the making people do what i say is the important part! you should’ve started with that bit, snazzy though the green flash is. on the outskirts of beanotown… if you ask that again, harry, you can get out and walk! are we there yet? gary, dear boy! speed it up, will you? we have the big do in london afterwards in case the french ever invade and interfere with the ceremony. then we can say, ‘ha-ha! too late! we did it in secret yesterday!’ you sure do have a lot of weird traditions. where are we going? yes, ma’am. i very much doubt the french are going to invade. ‘sure do’. i love it when you speak american. say ‘cheeseburger’! beanotown. do the people of beanotown get very excited to host all these royal weddings? only if you say something english first. say ‘sausage roll’. why are we going so slowly? it’s a tradition that us royals have been getting married There secretly since 1066. they don’t know. it’s done in secret! give over, you two. we’re here. just remember that this wedding has to take place in absolute secrecy! there’s meghan markle and that dude she’s going to marry! gimme that! what are you doing here? don’t you have a thing tomorrow? we’ve been spotted! how can he see through the one-way glass? LE! K ! R SPACHANT EN uh-oh! this must be the wrong car! this must be the one i do my waving from! sure! yes, but this is the pre-thing thing. if we say you can come, can you keep it secret for us? so… dad, where are you? megs is in the church and we’re all waiting for you! urrgh! i told you to let wills drive! you’re at a church, not the church! no, we’re at the church. where are you? he’ll not know where he is! tell him to ask the secret service officer. later… who would have thought a wedding would be boring? and do you… she does! get on with it! apart from every kid who ever went to a wedding? i’ve just got a text from the secret service. charles is in leeds. our loss is leeds’ gain. anyway, it’s nice to see a fellow redhead doing all right. i now pronounce you prince and princess! you may high five the bride! hmm… that’s given me an idea to liven this thing up! at the reception… could the owner of the rolls royce in the car park, registration hrh1, please be aware you’ve left your lights on? where’s the cake? now, the cutting of the cake! blub! i’ve got something in my eye! here it is now! hurry up, megs! there’s a dog training class booked for half past! but… sorry! gnasher ate your cake! holy toledo! i had to go to widl to get you a new one! i’m gnot sorry. megs! speak to me! dennis, what did i say about attending this wedding? ‘don’t do anything that might cause a war with america.’ ha-ha! what fun! but if you get any of that cake on me, you’ll spend the rest of your days in the tower! food fight! steady on, cabbage. suddenly… what? i’m taking this dress back to primark on monday! what is it, sharon? do you bring a warning from the future? is it the mum! dad! it’s me! your daughter from the future… sharon! er… no. give me a minute, i didn’t think this one far enough ahead. er… that’s obviously just minnie! …walter sells the photos from this ceremony to the papers! it can’t be! she’s right here! uh-oh. rumbled! french? wait! was that true?! our beautiful daughter, looking just like i imagined! get that phone and throw that boy in the tower! arrgh! …oops! the tv remote? where’s my emergency banana? what’s the future like? everyone has their own robot duck. walter’s escaping! back at 29 acacia road… this is a job for bananaman! i’ve got a banana in my pocket… i’m doing okay this week. not much bad luck so far! wah! there you are, walter. it’s ready for you. get ready to do what i say! what’s ready for me? the ‘do-whati-sayer’. ha-ha! i’d forgotten about that! if i zap the royal family, they’ll do what i say and i’ll be running the country at last! but… ! P ZA what is your command, my queen? what is your command, my cabbage? what is your command, gran? the queen’s first command is that walter’s phone is made unusable… i’m glad i wore my daft hat now! suddenly… so that’s what crowns are for! – ed never fear, your highness! i’ll get that phone! i’m too late, aren’t i? here you go, kid. urrgh! you’ve installed yup. internet explorer! now it’ll never work again! i’m not actually your daughter from the future, i’m minnie the minx! it was just a joke! what a relief! hey! what’s that supposed to mean? i was wondering where things had gone wrong. what?! but i’m perfect! you’re a great actress, megs. i really thought you weren’t as devastated as me! the queen’s second command is… let’s party! cheer up, walter. have some cake! we’re so gonna end up in the tower for this! - ed BEST MAN FOR THE JOKES! Dennis has added some royally funny jokes to his best man’s speech! Why is Britain so wet? Because the Queen has reigned there for years! What happens when the Queen burps? She issues a royal pardon! What happens to old chairs at Buckingham Palace? They get throne out! A royal wedding is an emotional day… …even the cake is in tiers! How do the royal family open the doors to their castles? With a re-moat control! What do all the toilets have at Buckingham Palace? A royal flush! Why does the Queen love making tea? Because when she’s not reigning, she’s pouring! Why did Prince Harry go to the dentist? To get his teeth crowned! One is not amused! I wish I’d asked Harry Hill! jj Freewheeling freestyle fun! DUGG ! A! A G G DU i’m working on this awesome drum solo, pie face. check it out! A! DUGG WORDS: HUGH RAINE ART: WAYNE THOMPSON it’s about five minutes long and it’s ! TSH TSH! POP! grr! what a racket! we’re trying to eat here! what? then i bring in the hi-hat! umm… sorry! the audience go wild! yeah, they look pretty wild to me. i want you to be on your best behaviour, yeti! this is an art gallery! the bins outside le posh restaurant aren’t the best place to practise! the crowd, jj. betty & the yeti garrelly? isn’t this interesting? it best in whole art garrelly! WORDS & ART: HUGH RAINE it sounds like thunder! totally epic! The ordinary girl with the extraordinary best friend! such vibrant use of colour, right? BUT… thing! see? wow! that is beautiful! betty! yeti found we’ll take two slices, please! Advertisement * We’ll be throne the best party ever! RY E V E T GE EFORE B COPY’S IN THE IT PS! SHO to the church, dennis! ER SAVE OV ** £69 E SHOP OFF TH ICE! R P WOR TH £7.99! e e r f a PLUS2 pencil es tionery l b i d e incsre and sta pack! ca PACKAGE Direct Debit 1 year Pre-pay 6 month Pre-pay INCLUDES FREE GIFT! Save £69.50! FREE GIFT! Save £50.50! FREE GIFT! Save £21.26! TOTAL PRICE PRICE YOU PAY PER ISSUE £68 £1.36 £87 £1.74 £47.49 £1.90 BE DEASLT! How to sign up… Ask an adult to help Visit beano.com/subscribe Call 0800 318 846 n Freephone from UK landlines and mobiles (MON-FRI 8am-6pm, SAT 9am-5pm) S *Direct Debit offer. Pay only £17 per quarter (only £68 for the year). One year minimum term applies. UK bank accounts only. Savings based on yearly newsstand price of £137.50. One year prepay options also available at: £87 (UK) and £156.60 (Overseas). Overseas customers please call +441382 575580 or visit our website. While stocks last. A replacement will be offered if no longer available. In order to offer subscribers significant savings on the cover price cover gifts are not included in subscription copies and are newsstand promotions only! Closing date 6th June 2018. ** Save over £69 with this Direct Debit offer. ubscribin by phon g Quote ‘B e? N to claim INC’ yo free gif ur t! what a perfect sunday with my beano. in the kitchen… fresh gravy coming right up. you’ll never get your dad to pay to take us out. meow! a sunday roast would be amazing right now. this should get him in the same gravy boat as us. ... Z ZZZ leave that to me, mum. i just need your help to prepare dodge 981g! family! we are going out to get a sunday roast! mmm… gravy! great dodge, roger! WORDS: DANNY PEARSON ART: BARRIE APPLEBY so… we have all the major food groups here. time to serve up dodge 398bp. roger. that doesn’t look like a very healthy plate of food. you need to eat some vegetables first before you start on that. i’ll get you some broccoli, carrots and a few peas. forcing me to eat vegetables. i’ll show him. beef, yorkshire puddings and gravy! yuck! first to get rid of this broccoli. …bury the broccoli and put the salt back in. genius! i just need to remove the salt from the shaker... i’ll be very hap-pea once i get rid of these. this vase is a perfect place to plant some carrots. oops. who hit me with this pea? i didn’t fire that pea at you! out! and don’t come back! you’re the only one with peas on your plate, dad. i ate all mine! back home… honestly, dad. you shouldn’t play with your food. Why was the doughnut at the dentist? To get a filling! forget a doggy bag. all i needed was my dodge bag! this joke is the sweetest! it can do backflips! it’s a you’ll never guess what i’ve bought! robot dog! sausages? gnoo-er! anyone can do that! oof! maybe gnot! best of all, it never tries to steal my sausage sandwiches! here! try some! that can’t be right! every dog loves sausages! tum-ti-tum… it’s going crazy! WORDS: JD SAVAGE ART: BARRIE APPLEBY it must be a sausage rush! …arrgh! now it looks like we’ve got a robot dad! gnee-hee! i wonder if he does backflips? What is it called when you see the same cow twice? Deja-moo! BEANO T R S t in the nex r of Mischief To celebrate Dennis and the Chambe y reader the luck one ng being released, we’re givi racter for the chance to be transformed into a cha r, all you ente To ? that is next book! How cool story! y funn own r you draw is do to have WIN! Send in your comic strip by the 30th May, 2018 for a chance to win this awesome prize and a copy of Dennis and the Chamber of Mischief! BOOK! BY EMAIL EMAIL THIS PAGE WITH YOUR YOUR NAME, DATE OF BIRTH, PARENT OR GUARDIAN’S NAME AND TELEPHONE NUMBER TO: COMPS@BEANO.COM, WITH ‘MISCHIEF’ IN COMPS@BEANO.COM THE SUBJECT LINE. BY POST SEND THIS PAGE TO: CHAMBER OF MISCHIEF, THE BEANO, DC THOMSON, 2 ALBERT SQUARE, DUNDEE DD1 9QJ Name: ............................................ Date of birth: .................... Address: .................................................................................. ................................................................................................. Parent or Guardian’s name: ...................................................... Phone No: ................................................................................ The funniest comic will be chosen by the Beano Editor. The judge’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into. Closing date for entries: May 30th 2018 11:59pm (GMT). Details of winners available on request. For our full competition T&Cs visit www.beano.com/terms-and-conditions/#competitionrules or send a stamped addressed envelope to Beano Marketing, Copy of your Competition Terms, D.C. Thomson, 2 Albert Square, Dundee DD1 9QJ. mum! dad! i’m hungry! when’s dinner? sorry, minnie! i’m not feeling too well today… sniff! and i need to help your mum when i’ve finished this work. so… dinner’s ready! at last! i’m famished! call yourself parents?! all you have to do is drive cars and yell at kids… and you can’t even manage that today! you watch! i’ll be the best parent ever! there’s a bit more to it than that, minnie! here you go! a delicious i’ll believe it when i see it! chortle! a delicious what? hot dog cake! minnie, it’s nice that you tried but this isn’t really a healthy dinner… there’ll be no afters until you’re done! WORDS: ANDY FANTON ART: PAUL PALMER what is for afters? more hot dog cake! i don’t know how to describe the taste! brill! how else would you do it? so… i need some time to recover from that dinner! you can’t rest yet! you’ve got homework! no way! i did my homework, minnie! not yours - have they changed the way you do maths? i’m so confused! come on! no tv until it’s all done! much later… i’ve finished! can i watch telly now? mine! nope! it took you too long to do the homework. it’s bedtime now! and where is my suit, minnie? the next morning… straight to bed! i don’t want to hear another peep out of you! now i can stay up all night doing what i want! being a parent rules! minnie! i’m feeling better but i’m hungry! what’s for breakfast? huh? what?! yes, minnie! minnie! i need a permission slip to go on an office trip! minnie! i’m thirsty! i quit being a parent! i’m going to stick with being a minx! hee-hee! so much for being the best parent ever! i’m glad! i don’t think i could stomach any more hot dog cake! gah! that’s enough! What was the tortoise doing on the road? About 15 inches an hour! there we go! i’ve finally finished building my own telescope! i just hope it’s powerful enough to see out into space! i want TO search for ufos! hi, rubi! what’s this? wow! this is really good! so much clarity! oh, really? i’ve not had a chance to test… it’s a telescope! i made it myself! WORDS: ANDY FANTON ART: EMILY McGORMAN-BRUCE you’ve all got to see this. ooooh! let me have a look! this is a special ufo - a no, me next! unique fooling object! that’ll keep them busy while i get to use my telescope! i’ve got to show some other scientists! ellie! ivo! egon! hubert! hmph! i’m never going to get to use my own telescope! unless… but… what ho! what’s that? run away! they’re invading! i-i don’t believe it! they exist! What do you call a prehistoric explosive? Dino-mite! what is it? ir t to reveal the u n a w ’t n o d s n can yo The alie e Earthlings – ’ve made th to e c n e s re p y ifferences the spot the ten d om Rubi’s telescope? to the view fr there’s a few unidentified flying objects in these pictures! S TICK ‘EM OFF A ! M E H T D YOU FIN n Solutio why don’t you do a sponsored climb to the highest point in beanotown? i need ideas to raise money for charity! hmm... that was easy. five seconds later… okay! maybe to get more sponsors, you should do something harder! ZOOM ! why don’t you swim across the english channel? WORDS: DANNY PEARSON ART: WAYNE THOMPSON ! H S A PA L P DDLE S ! bonjour! that was still too easy. bonjour! ‘bonjour’ means ‘hello’ in french! - ed 55 seconds later… ten seconds later… perhaps you should channel your energy into something else. i know a real challenge! can you stay still for 60 seconds? arrgh! i don’t think i can do it. TW ITC H! yeah, but i still don’t have a good idea. How do you measure a joke? In smiles per hour! hee-hee! then that’s perfect! i’ll sponsor you for 10p a second! ggwwwrghh!* A galactic adventure of brilliant battles and stolen spaceships! never tell me the odds… or the dodge! N: e SLATIO *TRAN the sausag not ! g r o is f This king I’m loo Hi! I’m Albert, but you guys can call me… You can be a Menace too! Email YOUR MENACE NAME to: MMAM@beano.com! During Mr Throbb’s maths class… Albert. Two trains leave two stations, 500 miles apart. Train A travels at 200 miles an hour while train B travels at 100 miles an hour… Calm down! There isn’t going to be a crash! …how long is it before they meet? Phew! You had me going then! There’s going to be a crash?! Don’t tell me - I’m just a kid! Alert the authorities! Well? Well what? Arrgh! Okay! You’ve got a 15 litre bucket, and a 500ml cup. How many trips to the tap will it take to fill the bucket? Wrong! The cup is half a litre so each litre will take two trips. That means that a 15 litre bucket will take 30 trips to the tap. One. Wrong! Take the bucket to the tap and throw the cup away! One trip! When do the trains meet? They don’t! You just said! Urrgh! We’ll try something else. What are the odds of a dice landing on six? WORDS: NIGEL AUCHTERLOUNIE ART: HUNT EMERSON m ! ce a e me mena k a Try again, six?! Again, six?! No! It’s one in six! Look, I roll and… oh, it’s come out six… 50/50! It’s either going to be six or it’s not! What am I meant to be learning here, Sir? …but the next time I roll… SIX?! SIX AGAIN?! ...six again?! But if I roll again… ...six?! Dicky, is that the weighted trick dice Mr Throbb took off you last week? Could be! DON’T FORGET! Send us a brilliant photo of yourself with your Menace Name!