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The Guardian G2 - May 16, 2018

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The age
of rage
Why is
everyone
so angry ?
Wednesday 16/05/18
Arwa Mahdawi
Rita Ora got bisexual
women all wrong
page 3
Suzanne Moore
The sad, strange story
of Thomas Markle
page 4
•
Pass notes
№ 3,809
Shortcuts
Who can replace the romcom king?
There was a time, children, when Hugh Grant was
both more and less than Paddington’s nemesis. For a
good decade from the mid-90s, he was the go-to
romcom star. He says: “That bird has flown.” Now
that he is “older and uglier”, he is offered different
and more interesting parts, such as his upcoming
role in A Very English Scandal by Stephen Frears.
Well, good for Grant, but who might step into his
shoes as the new king of romcom? Some thoughts:
Glitter
swimwear
Age: Recently applied.
Appearance: Glittery, a bit sheer.
Are we talking about bikinis made of glittery
fabric? Not quite.
Because that’s not new. You can buy those
absolutely anywhere. This is a bit more than
that. Or less.
Are you sure? Because it just looks like a
glittery bikini. That may be what it looks like,
but there is no actual bikini. Just glitter.
I see. No wait, I don’t. The latest summer trend
involves applying glitter directly to the skin in
a swimsuit shape.
So there’s nothing covering your modesty
except glitter? I’m not sure modesty comes
into it, but yes, it’s all glitter.
That is going to play havoc with the pool filter.
I don’t think you’re supposed to go in the
water. It’s more of a festival thing.
What if it rains? It’s mostly an Instagram
thing, along with its even newer offshoot, the
“glitter bum”, which involves applying liberal
amounts of glitter to one’s backside, often in
lieu of pants.
As if the sun shines out of your behind? More
like you sat in a unicorn’s litter tray, but you’ve
got the idea.
As I know from many a primary school
project, glitter is a temporary and yet
surprisingly tenacious form of decoration.
True: you won’t be wearing all of it for long,
but you’ll be wearing some of it for ever.
Who or what is behind this odd look? Mostly
glitter companies and glitter cosmetic brands.
That makes sense. And how much would I be
expected to pay for a bikini top made of glitter
and only glitter? About £30, including the glue
to stick it to yourself.
That’s a lot of money. It’s a lot of glitter.
Isn’t all this glitter bad for the environment?
In a word, yes. Most glitters are made of
plastic, and most wearable glitter ends up
going straight down the plughole and into the
nearest fish.
How terrible. Is there no alternative?
Biodegradable glitter, made from cellulose, is
also available these days, but if you’re wearing
it instead of clothes, you might want to check
that it will stay where it’s supposed to ...
Do say: “All is not gold that glitters; much
of it is a combination of aluminium and
polyethylene terephthalate.”
Don’t say: “Sorry, but when I ordered a pair of
glitter balls this was not what I had in mind.”
2
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
A Ryan
Reynolds or Gosling, depending
on whether you want it more rommy
(Gosling) or commy (Reynolds). But
always Reynolds, for preference.
A “Hemsworth”
Liam, Luke or Chris. Let
their mum decide whose
turn it is to star.
A “Chris”
Evans (not that one), Pine, Pratt
or Hemsworth (again). If there’s a
studio that could afford a fourway,
let the record show there is a crossdemographic audience for that.
John Legend
The millions of people who now
locate their last vestiges of hope for
humanity in the relationship between
him and his wife, Chrissy Teigen, know
that he is the would-be romcom Legend
the world needs.
Hugh Jackman
Ideal if there’s a serenading scene,
or one in which he charms her friends
by breaking into an appropriately sexy/
sentimental song at a ladies’ brunch.
Nigel Havers
Why should the young ones have all
the fun? Anyone who saw his sterling
recent work as Audrey’s gigolo in
Coronation Street knows that The
Charmer (1987 ITV drama – ask your
grandparents) still has it.
Kumail Nanjiani
One of the stars of Silicon Valley
with a great line in flailing uncoolness
and bumbling sweet vulnerability –
and who did semi-reinvent the
romcom to brilliant effect with
The Big Sick, co-written with his
wife, Emily V Gordon.
Cate Blanchett
g.
People say she can do anything.
Let’s test her. Let’s find the answerr
n
to Titus Andromedon’s question in
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – “Is she
gan
great? Or is she just tall?” Lucy Mangan
Sublime calm:
the joy of
giving blood
Does anyone else know they saved
the lives of more than 2 million
babies? James Harrison does.
Over six decades, the 81-year old
Australian donated his exceptional
blood 1,100 times. His blood is
precious for a critical antibody used
in the blood plasma medication
called anti-D, given as injections to
mothers with a negative blood group
whose blood risks attacking their
unborn babies. Now he has given his
last donation, for fear giving more
blood risks damaging his health.
In the UK, the NHS Blood and
Transplant service is eager for new
donors: although surgeons now
use less, by cauterising bleeding,
new donors are needed all the time
to replace those who get pregnant,
become ill or die. Needle-phobic?
Amazingly, so was Harrison, but he
overcame his fear after receiving a
lifesaving blood donation.
I have been giving blood for years,
partly because my blood group is
O-negative, shared by just 7% of the
population, which is valuable as
the only blood that can be given in
an emergency before knowing the
recipient’s own blood group. The
blood donation service tells me now,
with a bank holiday approaching, is
a good time to give: air ambulances
carry O-negative blood.
I like giving blood: an hour,
often less, of sublime calm and
friendliness in the donation centre
at Margaret Street, just off Oxford
Circus, with a chatty cup of tea and
biscuits. You can feel virtuous with
minimal effort – there is a certain
cosy smugness among donors, lying
with our feet up for the average 15
minutes it takes to extract the blood
from your arm. There is no age limit,
the average age is 45. Men can give
four times a year, women three. It
is satisfying to receive a text to say
your blood has just been used.
The great sociologist Richard
Titmuss, in The Gift Relationship,
his study of altruism, used the
blood-bank service as his prime
example – where voluntary donation
produces far better results than the
US’s private blood market. It was his
metaphor for the collective spirit of
all public services.
Polly Toynbee
•
Arwa
Mahdawi
Why do plane
windows keep
breaking?
COVER ILLUSTRATION: BEN BOOTHMAN AT AGENCY RUSH; PHOTOGRAPHS SUKI DHANDA/THE GUARDIAN; REUTERS; TESLA MOTORS
Say
what?
Two Michigan
residents
discovered
their car had
been used as
a squirrel’s
stash this week
after they found
50lb of pine
cones under the
bonnet. They’re
not the first: in
2015, a squirrel
was blamed
for hoarding
nuts under
a bonnet in
Gloucestershire.
And in 2016,
another squirrel
was accused of
turning a car
park in Ontario,
Canada, into
a “private
pantry”
To lose one passenger through a
plane window, as in the tragic case
last month of Jennifer Riordan, who
die
died when she was half sucked out
of a window on a Southwest Airlines
flight from New York to Dallas, is
disconcerting. When something
similar happens to a pilot, “sucked
halfway out” of a broken cockpit
window on a passenger flight in
China, as it did this week, you start to
wonder whether storylines common
in airline dramas are becoming a
little too frequent in real life.
What caused the cockpit
windscreen on the Airbus in China
to crack (above) has not yet been
ascertained. At cruising altitude, the
pressure outside a plane is around
two-and-a-half times lower than
inside the cabin, so a broken window
or a large hole in the fuselage can
be catastrophic, causing a blast of
air that will suck out seats as well
as people. A devastating instance
occurred on a flight from Los
Angeles to Sydney in 1989 when
a cargo door failed, tearing a large
hole in the side of the fuselage and
causing explosive decompression
that led to the deaths of nine
passengers when their seats were, in
effect, ejected from the plane.
As with all aircraft accidents,
the implications are troubling,
but aviation consultant David
Haward says serious decompression
incidents caused in this way are
rare. “This is not a frequent danger,”
he says. He also points out that the
emotive phrase “passenger sucked
out” is wrong. “The fuselage is
pressurised, so they are pushed out.”
In the recent US example, he says,
the window didn’t break because
of a design fault, but because part
of the engine crashed into it. A
passenger window is made up of
three layers, and he says there is no
recorded instance of one failing of
its own accord. Cockpit windscreens
are even tougher, designed to resist
collisions with birds and lightning
strikes. Haward says previous
breakages have usually been the
result of maintenance failures.
“These incidents are very rare,” he
says. “When I take flights, I always
choose a window seat.”
Stephen Moss
How Rita Ora got bisexual
women all wrong
So ‘Napoleon
complex’ really
does exist
Look, I’m not angry. I’m just disappointed. When I heard Rita Ora was
coming out with what has been called a “bisexual bop” I had high hopes. Ora
collaborating with Cardi B, Charli XCX and Bebe Rexha to sing about the joys
of snogging women? What was there not to like?
As it turns out, a lot. While Ora’s latest single, Girls, released last Friday,
is catchy, it has also taken a lot of flak for perpetuating problematic bisexual
stereotypes. Such was the backlash to Girls that Ora apologised on Twitter
for the song’s content. She clarified that she has “had romantic relationships
with women and men … [and] would never intentionally cause harm to other
LGBTQ+ people”.
But what harm did she cause, exactly? Well, as the singer Hayley Kiyoko
(also known as “lesbian Jesus”) wrote in a viral tweet, the song’s lyrics “fuel
the male gaze while marginalising the idea of women loving women”. These
lyrics include lines such as: “Yeah, we got with the dude / I saw him he was
lookin’ at you,” and “Red wine, I just wanna kiss girls, girls, girls.” The song
panders to the straight-male fantasy that female bisexuality consists of straight
girls getting drunk and making out for a guy’s
attention; it furthers the misconception
that bisexuality is just about sex, not love.
As Kiyoko wrote: “This type of message is
dangerous because it … invalidates the very
pure feelings of an entire community.”
I hate to wheel out the sanctimonious
phrase “as a”, but as a “bisexual”, I agree
with Kiyoko. I put bisexual in inverted
commas because, despite having dated
men and women, I’ve always been loth
to describe myself as bisexual. The word
has terrible connotations. It’s rarely taken
seriously, for one thing, with both lesbians
and straight men assuming bisexual is
synonymous with “fickle and promiscuous”.
At least, that has historically been the case.
While bisexual erasure – the active process
of questioning the legitimacy of bisexuality –
is still a problem, the conversation around bisexuality has significantly
progressed in the 16 years since I came out as queer. In a 2015 YouGov poll,
49% of 19- to 24-year-old Britons identified themselves as something other
than 100% heterosexual.
Last year, the song Bad at Love, by the bisexual singer Halsey, hit No 5 on the
Billboard hot 100 chart. The song recounts various failed relationships with
men and women. It treats relationships with both sexes with equal weight.
The first time I heard Bad at Love it moved me to tears. Listening to
a woman singing about loving another woman in a way that was heartfelt and
personal felt like progress. If songs like that had been in the charts when I was
a teenager struggling to come to terms with an identity I didn’t see reflected
in the mainstream, it would have made my life a lot easier.
Pop culture is important; it helps us define our identities. It makes us feel
as if we belong. It shifts cultural norms. So, as Kiyoko wrote, it is important
for artists “to move the cultural needle forward, not backwards”.
Size doesn’t matter, we are always
told. Science, however, would beg to
differ. A study by researchers at Vrije
University in Amsterdam, suggests
that the “Napoleon complex” is
real; short men are measurably
meaner than their taller peers. The
researchers came to this conclusion
after gathering a collection of males
of varying heights and observing
their performance in a moneysharing experiment called the
“dictator game”. Smaller men, the
academics observed, were more
inclined to act aggressively in the
game when there was no threat of
repercussion. “It’s probably smart
for short men to be like this because
they have fewer opportunities to get
resources,” the lead researcher, Jill
Knapen, told New Scientist.
If you’re a man feeling personally
threatened by this study, worry not,
I also bring good news. Research
has shown that short people live
longer than their lengthier friends.
Further, while numerous studies
would seem to suggest tall men
have an inherent advantage in life,
there is also plenty of evidence
that in today’s technology-driven
economy, short men face very few
barriers to success. They’re amply
represented in magazine rich lists,
anyway. Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff
Bezos are both a relatively modest
5ft 7in (170cm), and both are among
the 10 wealthiest men in the world.
There have also been studies
rebutting the idea that short men
are more likely to be temperamental
than tall men. Indeed, in 2007,
research by the University of
Central Lancashire found that
taller guys were more belligerent
than their shorter counterparts.
All of which is to say that headlinefriendly “scientific studies”
about size probably don’t matter
that much.
How the 1% will face Armageddon in style
The Wall Street Journal recently published a piece on “the
upmarket way to prepare for doomsday”. After all, when the
apocalypse finally arrives, one ought to greet it stylishly. Forget
bulk-buying baked beans, says the Wealthy Person’s Journal.
Rather than panic-buying pulses, the members of the richest 1%
the Journal has interviewed seem to be buying things like the Tesla
Model X car (right), which features a climate-control setting called
“bioweapon defense mode”. They are also kitting themselves out in
End of Worlds jeans, which are advertised as being “slash-resistant”.
The jeans are not flameproof, however. So, if it’s death by lava for us
all, I’m afraid even the dearest designer denim can’t save you.
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
3
•
Thomas Markle is suffering at the
hands of the press in the run-up to
his daughter’s wedding. But he is
only the latest victim of the
dysfunctional relationship between
the palace and the paparazzi
Has nothing changed since
Diana’s day?
➺ Words Suzanne Moore
Meghan Markle
with her father,
Thomas
W
ho will give
Meghan Markle
away on the day
of her wedding?
Well, no
woman needs
to be given away and no one needs
to contend with another royal
wedding. Everyone in Britain
can look away now and revel in
the idea that the monarchy is an
institution that has no real effect on
its subjects’ lives, loyal or disloyal.
The lovely old Queen, corgis and all,
is the head of state and head of the
church, but why bore on about the
constitution when we can consider
Meghan’s messy bun? For the way
the monarchy functions is by telling
us stories that are said to unify our
disparate nation – and those stories
are of the hatch ’em, match ’em and
dispatch ’em variety.
At one time, power meant privacy.
Not any longer. The royals are born
to rule and we are apparently born
to watch, or so it is assumed by those
who publish paparazzi shots of them
and their adjuncts. Thomas Markle,
a retired lighting director, seemed
to be living a quiet life in Mexico
until his daughter got embroiled
with a royal. Long divorced from
her mother, he is said to be close
to his daughter. Portrayed in some
quarters as some kind of bumbling
reclusive bankrupt, he actually won
several awards during his career. He
just doesn’t seem to want to be in the
public eye, and why should he?
Paparazzi have apparently rented
a house next to his and followed him
4
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
around, making his life a misery.
He then set up some shots of his
own, perhaps to try to take control
of the images that were circulating.
Nothing dramatic. The pictures
he apparently posed for show him
Googling royal stuff and being fitted
for a suit. But he got paid for them,
which is said to have caused him
embarrassment, and he is now so
stressed that he is having chest
pains, having had heart attacks in
the past. On Monday, he said he
had decided not to come to the
wedding, although yesterday, there
were reports that he has changed
his mind. Poor guy. And what a
rum do all this is. It could surely
have been avoided if the palace had
stepped in earlier to try to warn,
prepare and protect him. Meghan
and Harry are, understandably, said
to be distressed, too.
This pursuit of her father is
a lesson to Meghan about what
marrying into this family entails.
There is not a relationship between
the royal family and the press: there
is a void, and it is dark.
There are moments of negotiated
truce, of course, lines constantly
drawn and breached. There are
laws, and enquiries; there is handwringing, and then there is the
reality: a paparazzo once told me
that one shot, the right shot, could
keep him for a year. One shot –
tears, tits and tiaras – will sell all
over the world.
Paparazzi used to spit at Princess
Diana to get her to react. When they
were young, Harry and William
were frightened by scuffles among
photographers. A press call is
never enough. Ultimately, the
brothers blamed the paparazzi
for their mother’s death, the men
who pursued her on speeding
motorbikes, who took photographs
of her dying. That much we know.
While she was alive, and
especially during her divorce, Diana
courted certain photographers and
journalists to get out her side of the
story. She made a deal with the devil,
but the thing about the devil is that
he doesn’t do guilt, or even shame.
After her death, there was a period
of reflection by some newspaper
editors. But this lasted five minutes,
at most. Diana’s collusion with
the press compromised her, but
she didn’t have much choice –
they would have followed her
anyway. Even Piers Morgan, that
expert on press intrusion, said:
“We in the media were culpable in
allowing the paparazzi to become
ridiculously over the top.”
Where does that culpability
lie? Some lies with newspaper,
magazine and website editors who
cannot get enough of these snatched
pictures, stolen images traded like
contraband. Some say it also lies
with the public, who, it is claimed,
bizarrely, crave these images. But
some lies with the monarchy itself,
which cannot maintain its standing
without a certain level of publicity.
Of course they try to control it. But
even when there are deals, they
can’t. We have seen pictures of
various family members in states of
undress. A secret recording gave us
the future king’s tampon fantasies.
Long lenses have given us pictures
of the Duchess of Cambridge topless.
iPhones have given us pictures of
her brother, James, in a French
maid’s outfit and Harry naked in
Vegas. We have also seen Harry in
Nazi gear and the Queen wringing
the neck of a wounded pheasant.
‘The royals are born
to rule and we are
apparently born
to watch, or so it is
assumed by those
in the media’
All of these were presumably private
moments. All of these pictures were
sold at vast profit.
The palace has gone on the
offensive by suing and making it
clear what these long lens shots
involve. In 2007, William and
Kate were pursued leaving the
nightclub Boujis by paparazzi on
motorbikes, and they are now
deeply concerned over how their
children are pursued. Paparazzi
have been found hiding in fields
behind dunes to get pictures of
Prince George playing with his
grandmother, Carole Middleton.
A man was found in the boot of a
car trying to take a picture through
a small gap. The palace wrote a
letter that said such tactics were
reminiscent “of past surveillance by
groups intent on doing more than
capturing images”. George was
two at the time. The implicit link
here between what the paparazzi
are doing and what terrorists do is
striking. It is dangerous; surveillance
of an unprecedented kind.
Having starred in a TV series,
Meghan is perhaps better prepared
for surveillance than many. Her
father is not. No normal person
could be. The deal that the royals
want to broker with the press in
which they control all access is
understandable, but untenable.
All regulation seems to fall down
once international websites come
in. Images will circulate even if
certain newspapers refuse them.
But not only do some newspapers
not refuse them, they scrutinise
the bodies, makeup and hair of the
female royals with the decorum of
an upskirt sleaze merchant. These
are the same papers, of course, that
love the monarchy.
Diana wanted out before her
wedding, but was told that her
face was already printed on the tea
•
Reply all
Working it out
In a meeting in the CEO’s office I noticed an email on
his screen concerning my future in the business. The
gist was that I was wrong for the position but they
were not certain what the position should be. They
had discussed making me redundant, but decided to
set me clearer goals and have an honest conversation
with me. I’ve since been issued with share options
and no conversation has taken place. I’m concerned
it may have to do with my recent disclosure that
I was suffering from depression. I’m planning to
jump ship, but how do I handle it in the meantime?
Have that chat with them
Don’t mention that you saw the
email. Regardless of the rights and
wrongs of the CEO’s approach to
email security, you are expected to
be a professional and to know not to
go snooping. But by all means ask
for a proper appraisal if they don’t
routinely offer one. You are a year
into a new role; it’s entirely sensible
to ask your manager to reflect on
how the year went and what’s been
good/bad, and where you can be
improving. Have that chat, making
sure you have notes written down
and shared with your manager – and
then get on with doing your job.
Gargoyle_Waiting
PHOTOGRAPHS: SPLASH; GETTY; REX/SHUTTERSTOCK
Princess Diana,
pursued by the
paparazzi
towels. Meghan may want to fly off
to a chapel in Vegas right now, but
there is a sense that the deal is done.
The firm will reinvigorate itself
with the fresh blood of the women
who marry into it. For all the
privilege and lives of enormous
wealth, those women will give up a
shocking amount of privacy because
the royals are part of a celebrity
culture. They may rattle the bars of
the gilded cage, but they won’t break
them. The firm has a strong sense
of self-preservation, after all, and
when Charles becomes king they
need Meghan and Kate to maintain
a popular and modern front.
On one level, then, this is the
fairytale and, quite frankly, who
cares if her mother not her father
gives her away? That seems fine.
But all of this is really about who
controls the narrative: the press or
the palace? And how long can they
remain locked in this abusive and
dysfunctional relationship?
We the subjects can choose not
to be interested, of course, not to
care and not to look at the whole
circus. We can certainly choose
not to think any of it matters. But
the royals are the fountainhead of
how power operates in this country.
Talk to the union
Admitting that you read the email
could cause you problems. Can you be
sure you can prove the circumstances
in which you saw it? Best let it be. You
now know something your boss does
not. That is useful. Get independent
advice from a union or professional
association, play everything by the
book and be nice to everyone.
ystar
‘Thomas
Markle is not an
embarrassment.
This lurid
voyeurism is the
embarrassment’
The soap they provide is part of
how consent is manufactured
for this archaic institution.
They trade privacy for what?
Love? Power? Charity? And the
fairytale cracks when too much is
demanded of those not groomed
for intense scrutiny. No wonder
Thomas Markle wants to run
away. He is not an embarrassment.
What is embarrassing is this
lurid voyeurism that calls itself
journalism. What does harassing
a 73-year-old man achieve? The
fairytales and the tabloids never talk
of the collateral damage involved
in marrying a prince. We are an
amnesiac culture, but the damage
caused by all this is real, and not long
ago or far away. How much more do
we need to see?
Did they want you to read the email?
Perhaps you were meant to read that
email. If you quit, they don’t have to
pay any redundancy (if such a thing
exists in your part of the universe).
Knowing they want you gone is the
same as a sacking and their hands
are clean. Also NEVER disclose any
health issues to ANYONE at work.
EVER. Being handed some shares was
probably an accident: everyone gets
them at the same point of employment
– after a year or whatever. If you can
find another job, do so.
Anonperson8
Demand respect – they are weasels
Tell the boss you are concerned that
your depression confession might
be used against you. Remind them
it would be against the law to do
that. You don’t need to say how you
know or even that you know. Just
make sure they understand that you
met your targets and being ill isn’t
a sackable offence. And that you
won’t hesitate to take action against
them if it was in your interests.
Get mortgage insurance and
unemployment insurance, just in
case. Demand respect. Don’t tiptoe
around them. They are weasels
and they will probably be sacked
themselves in no time. Such is the
way of the world. Make a note of
the day and time the email was sent,
otherwise you will forget. You might
need it for a tribunal – but if they are
sensible they will just settle. More
than anything, start looking for
another job, just in case.
AJ AJ
It’s just business
I wouldn’t take it to heart, or read too
much into it. Businesses are fluid,
dynamic environments. They are
also naturally exploitative; it’s kind
of what you sign up for in today’s
dog-eat-dog world. So don’t worry,
executives are always throwing
unsavoury ideas around. It’s part of
their remit, to maximise efficiencies
and maintain that competitive,
internecine edge. The fact you
have dodged the bullet indicates
someone has been fighting your
corner and ensured that things have
gone in your favour: your bosses
have fresh priorities and you have a
bright new perspective. I would use
the opportunity to play for further
advantages – everyone loves the
runner that comes from behind. But
believe me, there is nothing to be
gained from bringing this up.
Shrubbery1
Want to
share a
problem?
Or offer a
solution? Email
working.it.out
@theguardian.
com or visit
gu.com/
working-it-out.
Submissions
are subject to
our terms and
conditions: See
gu.com/lettersterms
Think about the share options
This certainly isn’t the only point to
consider, but consider the value of
the share options and how long they
will take to be realised. In a startup
with rapid growth they can generate
life-changing sums; not so much in a
long-established corporate.
KateinDevon
Award yourself a bonus
Next time you have access to his
computer send yourself a few
emails telling you what a great and
invaluable employee he thinks you
are and drop a line to HR. And award
yourself a bonus.
Mick James
Next
time
I’m trying for a baby and can’t risk travel
My partner and I are trying for a baby. Some of the
places I visit on a work trip about once a year are listed
as still moderate risk for Zika virus. I obviously don’t
want to take that risk, but I am reluctant to share with
my workplace that I am trying to have a baby. My
entire reporting line is male, so as much as I would
like to be optimistic, I know this will change the way
I am thought of. I am also reluctant to travel at all once
I get pregnant as I am a bit nervous of being away.
Am I within my rights to say I would rather not?
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
5
•
Style
Embroidered
linen kaftan,
March11, £914
Kaftan
cool
Covering up is the new skimpy dressing
this summer, says lifelong kaftan fan
Jess Cartner-Morley
S
o I’ve got a party coming
up, the kind that
requires a proper look.
A party where people
who look really good at
parties will bring their
A-game. A party that has already
provoked an advance period of
what-are-we-wearing discussion
with other guests. The sort of party,
in other words, that is a full-blown
wardrobe crisis waiting to happen.
Except not this time, because I
know exactly what I want to wear. I
know the look that will feel zeitgeist
but not fashion victim, glamorous
but not self-conscious. What’s more,
it is super comfortable, I don’t have
to wear heels with it and it requires
zero beach-body-ready nonsense,
because there is no waistband to do
up. And it covers most of my body,
so I won’t even have to sheep-dip
myself in St Tropez like I normally
do when I go out.
I am going to wear a kaftan,
obviously. My longtime favourite
is a Maje one, silvery and tissuethin, with wide flowing sleeves
and a hemline almost to the floor,
but I am seriously considering
investing in a gold-edged number
covered in leopards and tiger lilies
by the London-based label Lazul.
The kaftan – a unisex garment with
a storied global heritage, which
refuses to peg fabulousness to any
particular dress size – feels right
for now in a way that no skimpy,
wiggle-into-it number does. A
woman wearing a kaftan takes up
6
Maya Rudolph
in Valentino
at the Oscars
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
physical space, rather than
han whittling
acity of a
herself down to the capacity
mfortable,
pair of Spanx. She is comfortable,
gs with her
she can dance, she brings
a bit of 1966-era mood music. The
red-carpet blackouts of the Golden
et the tone
Globes and the Baftas set
our is
for a year in which glamour
ad party
politicised. Wearing a trad
h. If last
dress feels a bit basic, tbh.
summer’s style slogan was The
n on a
Future Is Female, as seen
ssage
trillion T-shirts, the message
e Wear
of 2018 is that The Woke
Kaftans.
hat
I should admit here that
en
I am biased. I have written
anding
before about my longstanding
an, a
love affair with the kaftan
eeped
hot-weather garment steeped
in history, with roots in what
was then Mesopotamia. But this
summer it’s not just me.. In the
ue,
May issue of British Vogue,
rs Emilia
model Karly Loyce wears
ped,
Wickstead’s kaftan-shaped,
a gown.
balloon-sleeved Octavia
ia Scott
(Fashion director Venetia
made a yellow turban to go
ent
with it.) At the most recent
Paris fashion week, the hit
tors’
show by the fashion editors’
on
favourite designer, Simon
ed
Porte Jacquemus, opened
with a buttermilk satin
kaftan inspired by a trip to
es
the recently opened Yves
n
Saint Laurent museum in
ph’s
Marrakech. Maya Rudolph’s
scarlet Valentino kaftan
his
was a standout look of this
e
year’s Oscars. On vintage
sites, prices for trophy
‘I know exactly
what I want to
wear. It is super
comfortable
and covers most
of my body’
kaftans have risen sky-high. A Gina
Fratini rainbow-sleeved kaftan, as
worn by Liz Taylor at her (second)
wedding to Richard Burton in 1975,
now fetches more than £6,000.
This is all the more striking
because until a couple of years
ago the kaftan was frankly naff.
The glory years of Saint Laurent
in Marrakech were long gone and
the kaftan had been hemmed to
the upper thigh and adopted by
bejewelled women with too-dark
tans, dancing badly in beach bars to
terrible music. How times change.
This summer there are 60 super-chic
kaftans to choose from at Net-aPorter, and sales are up 25% on last
year at Stylebop, where the cool
linen kaftan-style maxis by Three
Graces London, designed by Célinewearing Irishwoman Catherine
Johnson, are flying out, as are bellsleeved pieces with rich Ukrainian
embroidery by New York label
March11. At Matches Fashion, Pippa
Holt kaftans are bestsellers, says
buyer Chelsea Power, “to be worn
with jeans and slides now, and then
A design thrown over a swimsuit on holiday”,
by Emilia while turbans by Norma Kamali, a
Wickstead Studio 54 regular and iconic New
York designer for three decades, are
proving a surprise hit of the season.
Harvey Nichols has recently taken
on three new kaftan-type brands:
Sundress, Innika Choo and Lemlem,
to add to Marios Schwab’s On The
Island label.
Like an enormous pair of
sunglasses, a kaftan has a doubleedged look-at-me/don’t-lookat-me vibe. It is a cover-up, but it
is definitely not for wallflowers.
Diana Vreeland, who said of style
that “without it, you are nobody”,
was a fan, writing in Vogue that
kaftans were “for the beautiful
people”. Princess Grace wore Pucci
kaftans with matching turbans
and was photographed several
times in the dramatic La Bayadère
kaftan designed by Marc Bohan for
Christian Dior in 1969.
The kaftan is laid-back, but it
flirts with danger in its anything-
PHOTOGRAPHS: PIXELFORMULA/SIPA/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK; MIKE NELSON/EPA;
GETTY IMAGES; CONDÉ NAST VIA GETTY IMAGES; PAUL ZIMMERMAN/WIREIMAGE
Princess Grace
in a Pucci kaftan,
1972 (far left);
and with
Christiaan
Barnard in 1968
•
Hat trick
From the outsized La Bomba by Jacquemus to
Justin Bieber’s hide-me version, this season is all
about not being seen – in a conspicuously large hat
Talitha Getty
and her husband
Paul on the
terrace of a
Marrakech
palace in 1969
‘Like an enormous
pair of sunglasses,
a kaftan has a
double-edged
look at me/don’t
look at me vibe
vibe’
The Gina
Fratini
kaftan worn by
Elizabeth Taylor
for her wedding
goes vibe: Talitha Getty wears a
multicoloured kaftan in the portrait
by Patrick Lichfield, taken on the
starlit terrace of the Marrakech
palace where she entertained
the Rolling Stones and Yves Saint
Laurent, two years before she died of
a heroin overdose.
“We would all go to work in a
kaftan if it was up to me,” says my
fellow enthusiast Nina Deckers,
the founder of Lazul. But the
kaftan’s appeal is bound up in that
of days spent by a pool with a glass
of rosé and has been boosted by
the elevation of what we wear on
holiday. A few years ago, to wear
earrings on the beach would have
been considered eccentric; now it
is the norm. At Net-a-Porter, where
the holiday wardrobe now has its
own offshoot, Jet-a-Porter, global
buying director Elizabeth von der
Goltz reports that 60% of spending
on beachwear is on kaftans and
cover-ups rather than swimwear.
And, since we are spending more
on what we pack in our suitcases,
we are more inclined to give these
pieces a run out at home. The
poolside kaftan, reinvented as a
languorous party dress, translates
better to real life than the giant
inflatable flamingo.
Stylebop’s Coco Chan describes
the kaftan as “empowering”, while
Deckers believes “there is a sexiness
in a silk kaftan that can never be
attempted by a tight-fitting dress.
The playfulness of silk around
a female body is something so
gorgeous.” The body politics of
the kaftan are complex. Is it more
empowering to reject objectification
by covering your body, or to signal
ownership of your sexuality by
celebrating it? Does dressing
modestly make you complicit in a
patriarchal notion that women’s
bodies are shameful, or does it
semaphore sisterhood by refusing
to make party-dressing a bodycompetitive sport? Both points of
view have their champions. But this
summer, only one is winning the
fashion argument.
High fashion doesn’t always
translate to Instagram, but
occasionally something comes along
that translates so well, it accidentally
veers into parody.
Take the La Bomba hat by
Jacquemus. This giant straw hat
is absurd to look at on a catwalk,
but worn on a sandy beach, and
photographed from behind, it
encapsulates everything that
summer is – and everything you
want to be when you wear it. In
short, to be seen while not being
seen, ideally on holiday.
It has also kickstarted what looks
like the defining Instagram trend
of the summer – hats with brims of
alarming diameter. At Sensi, they
are large and paper-braided, while
versions at Topshop and Off White,
although smaller, come with a wide
brim as flat as the Norfolk Broads.
At Missoni, they are shaped like an
exaggerated wimple. At Gucci, they
tie under the chin with a ribbon. At
Delpozo, they are more bow-like than
hat-like, but the sentiment remains.
Dig deeper, and oversized hats§§§
serve the same seen/unseen purpose
on celebrities. Melania Trump hid
beneath a white one designed by
Hervé Pierre when the Macrons
visited the White House. Justin
Bieber dodged speculation over his
love life in a straw version as he took
a “meditative hike” through the hills.
Jacquemus is the French label for
cool French women. The Jacquemus
girl, the handsome, oft-tanned
designer Simon Porte Jacquemus
once told the Guardian, “is not
Parisian, and that is important.
She is French, and French girls are
not elegant, they are raw, casual,
spontaneous.” It is also a label that
likes to play with scale when it
comes to accessories. His tiny Le
Sac Chiquito handbags are the size
of your fist, yet are the It bag of
summer 2018. The La Bomba hat
is the size of a manta ray, making
it impossible to transport, yet it is
long sold out and, even if it wasn’t,
is comically antisocial, shielding
not just its wearer from the sun but
anyone on the same stretch of beach.
And yet ...
Hats have become heavy with
meaning, and a good way to signal
an allegiance – be it Trump’s red
baseball cap or the pink pussy hats.
If autumn 2017 was dominated by
baseball caps worn by people who
wouldn’t normally wear baseball
caps, then other kinds of hats are
successfully revised each season,
and do the same job. See berets,
h
stetsons and, now, straw hats. Much
e
like Lenny Kravitz’s famously large
scarf a few years ago, hats are the
ook
quickest way to signal a “don’t look
e
at me, but, like, do” level of fame.
If Instagram 2017 was all about
tropical kitschiness, starring
flamingos and cacti among other
twee nostalgic tics, then this is
the summer of the giant parody
straw hat. Some shade intended.
Morwenna Ferrier
Missoni
Off-White
Topshop
G
Gucci
Sensi Studio
Jacquemus
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
7
•
Why are we living
in an age of anger?
From passive-aggressive notes on ambulance windscreens
to bilious political discourse, it feels as though society is
consumed by fury. Is the 50-year rage cycle to blame?
➺ Wordss Zoe Williams Illustrationss Ben Boothman
A
neighbour
objected to a young couple from
Newcastle being naked in their own
home. “We are sick of seeing big
b
ums, big boobs and little willy,”
bums,
was the core message of the note
that was sent, crescendoing to: “We
will report you both for indecent
exposure.” This story is such a small
thing, banal, without consequence.
It connects to no wider narrative and
conveys nothing but the bubbling
discomfort of human beings living
near each other. Yet when Karin
Stone (one of the nakeds) posted the
note on Facebook, 15,000 people
pored over it. An Australian radio
show interviewed her. I have got to
b
e honest, I am heavily emotionally
be
invested in the story myself and
I do not regret a second of the time
I have spent reading about it.
There is a through-line to these
spurts of emotion we get from
spectatorship: the subject matter
is not important. It could be
human rights abuse or a party-wall
dispute; it does not matter, so long
as it delivers a shot of righteous
anger. Bile connects each issue.
I look at that note, the prurience
and prissiness, the mashup of
capital and lower-case letters, the
unlikeliness that its author has a
8
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
smaller bum or a bigger willy, and
I feel sure they voted for Brexit.
The neighbours are delighted by
their disgust for these vigorous,
lusty newlyweds, I am delighted by
my disgust for the neighbours, radio
listeners in Australia are delighted.
We see rage and we meet it with our
own, always wanting more.
There was the mean note left
on the car of a disabled woman
(“I witnessed you and your young
able-bodied daughter … walk
towards the precinct with no sign
of disability”); the crazed dyspepsia
of the woman whose driveway
was blocked briefly by paramedics
while they tried to save someone’s
life. Last week, Highways England
felt moved to launch a campaign
against road rage, spurred by 3,446
recorded instances in a year of
motorists driving straight through
roadworks. Violent crime has not
gone up – well, it has, but this is
thought mainly to reflect better
reporting practices – but violent
fantasies are ablaze. Political
discourse is drenched in rage. The
things people want to do to Diane
Abbott and Luciana Berger make
my eyes pop out of my head.
But what exactly are we looking
at? Does any of this have a wider
social meaning? Does it place us
at a perilous point on the curve of
history, on the tinderbox of a grand
explosion? Or is it that some things
things –
cars, social media – are really bad
for our mental health?
There is a discipline known as
cliodynamics, developed at the
start of the century by the scientis
s
scientist
Peter Turchin, which plots historic
c
historical
events by a series of mathematicall
measures. Some are obvious –
equality – and some take a bit of
unpacking (“elite overproduction”,
overproduction”
”
for example; as a consequence of
inequality, there are periods in
history when there are too many
extremely rich people for the
positions of power that extremely
y
rich people typically occupy. This
results in them going rogue and
All social
movements off
consequence
start with
unrest
buying themselves into power by
hosing money at elections. Donald
Trump is the ultimate human face
of elite overproduction). These
measures yield a map of history in
which you can see spikes of rage
roughly every 50 years: 1870, 1920,
1970 (you have to allow a little
wiggle room to take in the first world
war and 1968). Cycles of violence are
not always unproductive – they take
in civil rights, union and suffragette
movements. Indeed, all social
movements of consequence start
with unrest, whether in the form of
strike action, protest or riot. Some
situate economics at the heart of the
social mood: the Kondratiev wave,
which lasts between 40 and 60 years
(call it 50 and it will correspond
neatly with the cycle of violence),
describes the modern world
economy in cycles of high and low
growth, where stagnation always
corresponds with unrest.
David Andress is a professor
of history at the University of
Portsmouth and the author of
Cultural Dementia, a fascinating
account of how the slash-and-burn
rage of the present political climate
is made possible only by wilfully
forgetting the past. He counsels
against what could become an
indolent understanding of history
– if everything is a wave and the
waves just happen, what is there
to discover? – but he allows that
“everything has to come back to
economics unless you’re rich.
Economics is about scarcity and
insecurity turns very quickly into
anger and scapegoating.”
“As a historian and as a teacher,
I’m always trying to get people to
understand that societies in general
are violent and hierarchical places,”
he says. “People like you and me
have wanted societies to be less
violent and hierarchical and we
have worked at that. We’ve never
actually succeeded. We’ve managed
ILLUSTRATION BY BEN BOOTHMAN AT AGENCY RUSH
•
to persuade people to take their
foot off other people’s throats, when
they felt secure enough.” Anger is
remarkable not in and of itself, but
when it becomes so widespread that
it feels like the dominant cultural
force. What is notable to Andress
is the counterfactual – the periods
in history not marked by fury.
“Antagonism never goes away.
That is what has made the postwar
project quite exceptional, the EU
project quite exceptional.” Ah, the
EU. Perhaps another time.
The psychotherapeutic
perspective would not reject these
economic factors, nor argue that
anger is a new phenomenon. But
there are elements of the human
emotional journey that are novel and
are driven by modern conditions.
Aaron Balick, a psychotherapist
and the author of a perceptive and
surprisingly readable academic
account, The Psychodynamics of
Social Networking, says: “I think for
sure anger is more expressed. What
you see of it is a consequence of
emotional contagion, which I think
social media is partly responsible
for. There’s an anger-bandwagon
effect: someone expresses it and this
drives someone else to express it as
well.” Psychologically speaking, the
important thing is not the emotion,
but what you do with it; whether
you vent, process or suppress it.
We are in an age where the trigger
event can be something as trivial
as a row over nudity. Thanks to
Facebook, 15,000 people can get a
righteous thrill of expressed rage.
Wherever we are on the Kondratiev
curve, ours is a materially different
life experience to one in which
you would only come together in
fury for something serious, such
as destroying a ploughshare or
burning a witch.
“Hysteria is not a particularly
politically correct term any more,
because it’s kind of misogynist, but
it does have a technical meaning,”
says Balick. “A hysterical emotional
response is when you’re having
too much emotion, because you’re
not in touch with the foundational
feeling. An example would be office
bitching. Everybody in the office is
bitching and it becomes a hysterical
negativity that never treats itself;
nobody is taking it forwards.” This
has the hammer thud of deep truth.
I have worked in only a couple
of offices, but there was always
a gentle hubbub of whinging, in
which important and intimate
connections were forged by shared
grievance, but it was underpinned
by a deliberate relinquishing of
power. You complained exactly
because you did not intend to
address the grievance meaningfully.
S
ocial media has
given us a way to transmute that
anger from the workplace – which
often we do not have the power to
change – to every other area of life.
You can go on Mumsnet to get angry
with other people’s lazy husbands
and interfering mother-in-laws;
Twitter to find comradeship in fury
about politics and punctuation;
Facebook for rage-offs about
people who shouted at a baby on
a train or left their dog in a hot
car. These social forums “enable
hysterical contagion”, says Balick,
but that does not mean it is always
unproductive. The example he
uses of a groundswell of infectious
anger that became a movement is
the Arab spring, but you could point
to petitions websites such as 38
Degrees and Avaaz or crowdfunded
justice projects. Most broad,
collaborative calls for change begin
with a story that enrages people.
To distinguish “good” anger from
“bad” anger – indeed, to determine
whether anything productive
could come of a given spurt of
rage – it is worth considering the
purpose of anger. “Its purpose is
to maintain personal boundaries.
So, if somebody crosses you, gets
in your space, insults you, touches
you, you’re going to get angry
and the productive use of anger
is to say: ‘Fuck off,’” Balick says.
The complicating feature of social
media is that “someone might be
stepping on our identity or our
belief system”. So, the natural
sense of scale you get in the offline
world – a stranger could run over
Anger pollutes
the social sphere.
Every outburst
legitimises
the next
your toes with a shopping trolley
but, being a stranger, would find
it hard to traduce your essential
nature – is collapsed in the virtual
one. In the act of broadcasting who
we are – what we believe, what we
look like, what we are eating, who
we love – we offer up a vast stretch
of personal boundary that could be
invaded by anyone, even by accident.
Usually it is not an accident, though;
usually they do it on purpose.
However, if it gives you a fillip
to lie in bed checking whatever
news or chat feed nourishes you,
then experience a short thrill of
indignation, is that a bad thing?
Could it just be supplying the
insignificant boost we used to get
from smoking? There is certainly
a hormonal response (“There’s
always a physical manifestation;
emotions aren’t a made-up
thing,” Balick says), but it is not
an obvious one: Neus Herrero,
a researcher at the University of
Valencia, “stimulated” anger in 30
men (with “first-person” remarks)
and found a variety of apparent
contradictions. Cortisol, which
you would expect to go up, since it
is the stress hormone, goes down;
testosterone goes up and heart
rate and arterial tension go up.
Herrera discovered an oddity in
“motivational direction” – usually,
positive emotions make you want
to get closer to the source, while
negative ones make you want to
withdraw. Anger has a “motivation
of closeness”, which Herrera
explains simply: “Normally, when
we get angry, we show a natural
tendency to get closer to what made
us angry to try to eliminate it.”
Like any stimulant, it has addictive
properties: you become habituated
to it and start to rove around looking
for things to make you angry. Rage
has an illusion of power, the way
the Incredible Hulk takes pride
in the destructive potential of his
strong emotion. “You wouldn’t
like me when I’m angry” is such
a curious catchphrase; the only
logical response is: “I don’t like
anyone when they are angry.”
But it manages to make sense
on a deeper, primeval level.
The important consequences
are not for your own health, but
rather for that of society as a whole.
Unprocessed anger pollutes the
social sphere. Every outburst
legitimises the next. And we have
landed – I like to think by accident
– on a technology that perpetuates
it and amplifies it, occasionally
productively, but more often to
no purpose at all. Writ large on a
world stage – take Trump or Viktor
Orbán, the prime minister of
Hungary, venting unmediated fury
for political effect – we can see how
denaturing it is, how it gates off all
other, less exhilarating responses,
such as empathy.
People getting so angry about
traffic cones that they drive straight
into them, while effing and jeffing
at a workman in a hi-vis jacket, may
or may not be a harbinger of greater
social unrest, but I remember the
John Major years and his cones
hotline. Whatever cones signify,
it is never anything good.
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
9
•
Arts
How was your night?
Ruff ! … the Queen
at yet another
Royal Variety
Performance
‘We’ve been inundated
since their visit’ …
Harry and Meghan
at Reprezent FM’s HQ
What have the
royals ever done
for the arts?
As Meghan Markle and Prince Harry wed, is it goodbye
Royal Variety Show – and hello Royal Reprezent FM?
Claire Armitstead on a new dawn for the crown
T
he marriage of Prince
Harry and Meghan
Markle means many
things to many people,
but, while loyalists
are unpacking the
union-jack party plates, hardpressed arts organisations will
be taking a longer view. Once the
party is over, reality strikes: a royal
wedding means the admittance of a
new member into “the firm” – and for
them, a lifetime of public patronage.
It has already been announced
that Markle will become a partner
in the Royal Foundation, set up
by Princes William and Harry in
2009 as an umbrella for a clutch of
charities. Besides youth work, the
foundation’s portfolio is dominated
by the princes’ preoccupations with
the armed forces and conservation,
while the charities that will be picked
for Markle’s individual support will
– in Palace parlance – “reflect Miss
Markle’s own interests”.
The National Portrait Gallery and
the art therapy organisation, Art
Room, were among the first four
charities to be chosen for her future
sister-in-law, Kate. A clue as to where
Markle’s interests might lead her –
as a cosmopolitan mixed-race TV
actor, with avowedly feminist views
– lies in the couple’s second official
engagement in January. It took them
(on their own request) to the “youthled” radio station Reprezent FM,
in Brixton, south London, which is
credited with launching the careers
of a galaxy of DJs and grime stars,
including Brit award-winner Stormzy.
But what does royal patronage
actually mean for the arts? For
Reprezent, which was saved from
closure three years ago by a crowdfunding appeal, even a one-off
visit has been an overwhelming
experience. “To be honest, we’re
hunkered down. We’ve been
inundated with requests, and there’s
been a three-line whip across the
board not to talk to the press about
anything at all,” said its telephonist.
On the other side of London, a few
weeks later, a quieter connection
10
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
was made as Prince Charles took
over from the Duke of Edinburgh as
“royal visitor” at the Royal College of
Art – an association it is hoped may
help as the 180-year-old institution
struggles to meet the formidable
challenges of a fall in state funding
from 65% to 26% since 2011. Over
the next four years, the specialist
graduate college – whose alumni
include Sylvia Pankhurst, Ian Dury,
David Hockney and Tracey Emin
– will expand to a new campus in
Battersea and increase its student
numbers from 1,900 to 3,000. It
already recruits from 74 countries,
and the rapid growth in both in
numbers and costs will increasingly
involve looking overseas, where
the word “royal” is an invaluable
calling card.
“The royal connection has
always been hugely beneficial when
being seen on the international
stage,” said a spokeswoman, “so
we are no different from other
great institutions such as the Royal
College of Music, Royal Academy of
Music, Rada, Royal Opera House or
Royal Shakespeare Company.”
Andy Hillier, editor of the charity
sector magazine Third Sector, points
out, the two great advantages of a
royal association are publicity and
trust. “For smaller organisations,
the biggest advantage is publicity
because it can be very difficult to
draw attention to yourself. For larger
organisations, the publicity benefit
might not be so obvious unless
you’re staging a big event, but trust
is a big issue at the moment, and if
you have a royal patron there is an
assumption that there’s a royal stamp
of approval and that you will have
been thoroughly vetted.”
The twists and turns of royal
support are as bewildering as the
Hampton Court maze. Presidencies
and patronships come with varying,
and not always consistent, levels of
commitment. As a “royal visitor”
Prince Charles is unlikely to visit
the RCA much, though it hopes
Kitchen chat …
Prince William
talks to Lady Gaga
on Facetime about
mental health issues
to profit from a hook-up with the
Royal Drawing School, which he
co-founded in 2000 as the Prince’s
Drawing School, and went on to earn
its “Royal” appellation in 2014.
The announcement of this
upgrade, by an institution that could
be seen as the result of a hobbyist’s
anachronistic obsession with
“observational drawing”, is revealing:
“With this name change, the Royal
Drawing School joins the Royal
Academy (1768), the Royal College of
Music (1882), the Royal College of Art
(1896) the Royal Academy of Dramatic
Art (1920) and the Royal Ballet School
(1956), as a member of the small circle
of world-renowned arts education
institutions to bear the Royal title. It is
the first such institution to be granted
the name since the Royal Ballet
School in 1956 – the fourth year of the
reign of HM Queen Elizabeth II.”
The Royal College of Art’s
headquarters – along with the
Royal College of Music’s – are in
an area of London once known as
Albertopolis, in memory of the royal
spouse who played a bigger role
than others in the development of
the UK’s enduring cultural capital.
Prince Albert was the driving force
behind the Great Exhibition, staged
in a custom-built Crystal Palace
in Hyde Park in 1851 with the not
inconsiderable ambition, said Queen
Victoria, “to promote among nations
the cultivation of all those arts which
are fostered by peace, and which in
their turn contribute to maintain the
peace of the world”.
Despite the disapproval of critics
including Karl Marx, who deplored
it as an “emblem of the capitalist
fetishism of commodities”, the selffinancing extravaganza, which is said
to have been visited by six million
people, turned in a profit big enough
to buy a swath of land in South
Kensington for a new cultural quarter
that would include the three great
national museums on Exhibition
Road and the Royal Albert Hall.
It’s a mark of the decline of royal
power that, while Albert could
influence the shape of a city, Prince
Charles has had to content himself
with a model village, incarnating
his ardent architectural philosophy
in the Beatrix Potter cottages and
Disneyland castles of Poundbury,
a new town that was planned and
•
‘I was the
only one who
didn’t get calls
from agents’ …
Prasanna
Puwanarajah
Sketch show …
Prince Charles
promotes drawing
‘I was pretty sure Planet Acting
didn’t need someone like me’
‘If you have a royal
patron, people see
it as a royal stamp
of approval and
assume there has
been vetting’
developed at his command on 400
acres of Dorset land from 1989.
But, though the capacities of this
century’s royal patrons might be
reduced, their credibility has greatly
improved since the late 1980s, when
National Theatre director Richard
Eyre fought a valiant rearguard
action against being landed with a
royal charter. “The ‘Royal National’
nonsense has burst like a fat blister,”
he wrote in his diary in June 1988. “I
haven’t yet had to publicly defend it,
and am not looking forward to having
to lie in public … Neal Ascherson
writes to me that ‘everyone is looking
to you to stop this royal nonsense’.”
Thirty years on, Ascherson – a
leading Scottish author – feels just
as strongly. “I’m not a fanatical antimonarchist,” he says. “What I fancy is
a country with republican institutions
which, if people wanted, could have
an ornamental bobble-king on top,
like the royal republic of Norway.”
Ironically, given her propaganda
wars with “the firm”, the change
in public opinion was partly due to
Princess Diana’s support of charities
working in previously stigmatised
fields such as support for people with
Aids and leprosy. Hillier points out
that the younger generation have
continued that tradition by extending
patronage into mental health, “which
is not an area the royal family has
supported in the past”.
He cites their support for Heads
Together – encouraging openness
about mental illness – which involves
a partnership with existing charities
to challenge this social taboo. In
today’s celebrity culture, part of
their value is their ability to pull in
showbiz stars – as Prince William did
for Heads Together with Lady Gaga
last year. The four-minute Facetime
chat, filmed in Kensington Palace and
Lady Gaga’s Hollywood kitchen, was
part of a series of celebrity heart-to-
hearts that are now on YouTube. But
to what extent do these enthusiasms
extend beyond celebrity to the arts
themselves?
Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, has
concentrated on reading charities,
with patronages including the
National Literacy Trust and Book
Trust. At the more glitzy end she’s
become a regular at the Man Booker
prize dinner, and will be hosting its
50th anniversary celebrations in
July with a champagne reception at
Buckingham Palace.
Prince Charles – who has never
sold himself as a great reader,
though he’s known to love a spot of
Shakespeare – discreetly backs (and
personally attends) the Boswell book
festival in the Scottish countryside.
The boutique fiesta of biography
and memoir takes place in Dumfries
House – a Palladian mansion in
Ayrshire that he rescued and
restored, and which recently joined
his School of Traditional Arts as part
of the Prince’s Foundation.
Prince Charles has never been
one for public displays of emotion,
but It won’t have escaped fans
of Markle’s best-known TV role –
paralegal Rachel in the series Suits
– that one of her strongest suits is a
capacity to emote to order. Social
deprivation is likely to feature in
her charity choices, with the arts
as enablers. While Dumfries House
is at the Chippendale end of royal
patronages, it’s a fair bet that Markle’s
furnishings will be more street than
five-star suite.
PHOTOGRAPHS: REUTERS; WPA/GETTY; REX; AFP; HEADS TOGETHER/AP
Literacy test …
the Duchess of Cornwall
presents the 2017
Booker prize to
George Saunders
When Prasanna Puwanarajah started out, he kept being cast as either
a doctor or a terrorist. Nowadays, he’s starring opposite Benedict
Cumberbatch and even launching his own sci-fi show. By Emine Saner
I
t was nine years ago that Prasanna
Puwanarajah last worked on a
hospital ward – he went from there
to rehearsals for Twelfth Night at
the Royal Shakespeare Company. In
the previous two years, he had been
working as a jobbing actor, writer and director,
and as a doctor – going wherever he was needed
in the NHS, and fitting in auditions, making
a couple of short films, directing some plays,
in between. He had been deferring a training
post in reconstructive surgery, and at some
point, though he never really made a definitive
decision, he just never went back to medicine.
We meet at the National Theatre, where
Puwanarajah is appearing in Absolute Hell.
There is still something doctorly about
his manner – the steady voice; the careful,
analytical responses. The National is a place
that proved instrumental in his career change.
“I’d done a show at the Arcola,” he says, “and
I was heading back to the NHS. I got auditions
at the RSC and then at the National. I came
here and did four shows and wrote a play, over
the course of a year and a half.”
Puwanarajah’s career has been steady, but
at 36, he is now powering forward with a broad
slate of projects. His most high-profile TV role
to date was as Suranne Jones’s bewildered
boyfriend in the last series of Doctor Foster.
Now he is playing opposite Benedict
Cumberbatch in Patrick Melrose, Sky Atlantic’s
adaptation of the Edward St Aubyn novels. He’s
about to appear in the BBC comedy legal series
Defending the Guilty, will direct two plays
and (hopefully) a feature film, set in Northern
Ireland. Then he’s co-creating a sci-fi series
for a US network with Line of Duty writer Jed
Mercurio. Nearly a decade after abandoning a
stable career, he must feel vindicated.
Both his parents, who moved to the UK
from Sri Lanka, worked in the health service
– his mother a drug and alcohol dependency
psychiatrist, his father a dentist. Theatre
wasn’t a big part of Puwanarajah’s childhood –
he remembers going to the pantomime once.
Then he appeared in a couple of school plays.
“I didn’t want to, but I remember vividly
the surprise of enjoying the experience,” he
says. As a teenager, he tried out for a place
at the National Youth Theatre and the man
auditioning him asked him why he wanted to
be an actor. “I said ‘I don’t, I’m going to be a
doctor.’” He got in, probably on the basis that
his answer intrigued them. The following year,
during the summer break from medical school,
he was back to do one of their shows. “I think,
out of 14 people in the show, I was the only one
who didn’t get any phone calls from agents and
I was, again, not fussed: I was pretty sure that
Planet Acting doesn’t need someone like me.”
He smiles. “I mean a brown person.”
He had rarely seen south Asian actors on
television or in plays. If he had, would he have
thought differently? “I think I would have
been curious about that person’s journey.” The
absence of high-profile actors who looked like
him, he says, “wasn’t necessarily driving a
decision I was making to not do it, but it was a
coefficient in there”.
Early in his TV career, Puwanarajah was
only cast as a terrorist or a doctor. He grimaces.
“Yeah, it’s good isn’t it? The stories have to be
there that are about minority experience as
distinct from stories that contain edge-of-frame
stereotypes. I’m bored of people going, ‘How
do we do this?’ We just do it. [Writers] need to
be commissioned and be allowed to fail on the
same terms as anyone else.”
He is wary of “colourblind” casting. “I just
don’t think we’re colourblind people,” he says.
“My experience has not
been of people being blind
‘We need to
to it.” Skipping through
have stories
a few of Puwanarajah’s
about
experiences makes his
minority
point: as a child, he was
experiences
threatened for wearing an
– rather
England football shirt; in
than edgean operating theatre once,
of-frame
a colleague told him his
English was surprisingly
stereotypes’
good; a few weeks after the
Brexit vote, he was told by
two men in the street to
“fucking go home”.
What he prefers, he says, is a role that
is more truthful and meaningful, offering
genuine representation. “I’m drawn to the
parts where [a character’s race] maybe does
matter because it’s about raising a possibility
of trying to find the truth about brownness in
our national heritage.” Absolute Hell, set in a
Soho members’ club just after the second world
war, is an example, he says. “It’s a period show,
but what my presence does is open us up to
the truth that people like me resided in worlds
like that at that time.” In Patrick Melrose, “I’m
playing a guy who is 20 or 21 at the end of the
70s and he’s fallen in with some aristocratic
people, but he’s Asian. Did that person ever
exist? Probably. Have we seen him on TV yet?
I haven’t. It’s a tiny piece of a truth that exists
everywhere except in our dramatic canon.”
Absolute Hell is at the National Theatre until
16 June. Patrick Melrose is on Sky Atlantic.
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
11
•
Live reviews
More talisman
than frontman ...
the Charlatans’
Tim Burgess
Pop
The Charlatans
★★★★☆
Memorial Court, Northwich
Until Friday
PHOTOGRAPHS: SHIRLAINE FORREST/WIREIMAGE; TRISTRAM KENTON FOR THE GUARDIAN; JUDITH BURROWS/GETTY IMAGES
Touring until 9 September
Theatre
Rattle Snake
★★★☆☆
Soho theatre, London
Until Sat; box office: 020-7478 0100
Touring until 9 June
A
lthough the
Charlatans started
out in the West
Midlands and
were initially
associated with
the “Madchester” scene, their
spiritual home is the pretty market
town of Northwich, Cheshire. The
formative lineup decamped here
after recruiting resident singer
Tim Burgess from the Electric
Crayons, beginning the journey
towards becoming one of Britain’s
most enduring bands. Although
they haven’t played here since 1990,
they have pulled the stops out for
their return.
A 10-day Charlatans “takeover”
sees events ranging from an
exhibition of memorabilia to public
interviews. Specially picked bands
are playing at the Salty Dog pub, and
the Charlatans’ favourite chippy,
the Seafarer, even adapts the band’s
Up to Our Hips album title for their
Up to Our Chips banner. Echo and
Y
ou might meet
James anywhere.
In a bar, like
Suzy (Christina
Berriman Dawson)
did, or perhaps
at a bus stop, like Jen (Eilidh
Talman) did. James is attentive
and charming. He tells you that
you’re the most amazing woman
he has ever met. He is not ashamed
to cry, especially when he talks
about his kids, and how his ex is
stopping him from seeing them.
Before you know it, he’s moved
in. Before you know it, you are
pregnant. Before you know it,
he’s complaining about smears
on the work surfaces and accusing
you of being unfaithful. Before
you know it, you and the children
are cowering in a locked
bedroom while he threatens
you from outside the door.
It is easier to find ways to
soothe him, because challenging
this man is like prodding a
rattlesnake with a stick.
the Bunnymen did something a bit
like this in 1984, when their Crystal
Day coaxed fans to cycle around
Liverpool on a route shaped like
a rabbit’s head – but it’s certainly
unusual to see a small town being
invaded by armies of followers in
“North by Northwich” T-shirts.
The first of the band’s four nights
at the Memorial Court – from where
they were once banned after causing
the stage to sink – is different, too.
Because the shows are going to vary
each night, songs appear from deep
down the well. Bird was last played
in 2010 and the defiant I Never Want
An Easy Life has been played only
once in 22 years, while the new,
sweetly melodic Totally Eclipsing
and Indefinitely in Your Debt are
unveiled for the first time. This
career-spanning setlist settles into
their trademark wistful euphoria.
Since they were last here, they
have endured the deaths of two
members, an imprisonment and a
nervous breakdown, but they have
Raw … Eilidh Talman
and Christina
Berriman Dawson
Inspired by the real-life
stories of women who have
survived coercive or controlling
domestic abuse (which only
became a crime in 2015), this
two-hander by Open Clasp –
a remarkable company working
with disempowered women –
sometimes betrays the fact that it
emerged as an indefatigable unit,
musically and personally solid.
Songs such as the thunderous One
to Another hinge on the musical
collisions between guitarist Mark
Collins and Hammond organist Tony
Rogers and the fearsome, almost
northern soul rhythm section of
bassist Martin Blunt and former
Verve drummer
Pete Salisbury (in
Since their
for the late Jon
last visit,
Brookes, whose
they have
drum kit features
endured the
touchingly in the
deaths of two
exhibition).
members, a
Burgess,
jail term and
meanwhile, is
a nervous
more talisman
than frontman.
breakdown
Surely the only
50-year-old
British male
who can sport a
peroxide version of the bob haircut
modelled by Joanna Lumley in The
New Avengers, and look fantastic, he
never stops dancing and repeatedly
raises an arm in the air to galvanise
the crowd. Several songs – Come
Home Baby, North Country Boy – are
uncannily suited for the occasion,
and the ageless singer touches his
heart as artist and audience yell
the “I’m coming home!” line in an
ecstatic Just When You’re Thinkin’
Things Over.
Talking in Tones (2015) and
Different Days (2017) are moodier,
channelling Burgess’s love of New
Order. Other songs offer uplifting,
psychedelic soul, and a storming Let
the Good Times Be Never Ending
lies somewhere between Brian
Auger and the Trinity and Sly and
the Family Stone. By the time the set
ends – as do numerous Charlatans
shows – with the surging Sproston
Green, named after a place near
Northwich, the crowd are going
crazy, and the town’s once bustling
high street will receive a muchneeded boost from the extra footfall.
Why don’t bands do this sort of thing
more often?
Dave Simpson
began as part of a training initiative
at Durham Constabulary. But
it also feels raw and truthful.
Directed by Charlotte Bennett,
it is played out in a small, white
cube that increasingly seems like
a prison. Catrina McHugh’s script
is simple, yet not without
theatrical sophistication: it
gradually becomes apparent
how many Suzys and Jens are
living with coercive abuse, and
how hard it is to prove. All the
neighbours think James is a
paragon, and even a judge is
persuaded by him. After all, James
is a pillar of the community.
Berriman Dawson and Talman
are terrific, and the production’s
song and clapping-style games
suggest the emotional
pressure faced by the abused
women and lend the hour a
heightened nervy quality. Like
Suzy and Jen, you hold your
breath waiting for the snake
to strike.
Lyn Gardner
Life-affirming …
Seckou Keita and
Catrin Finch
World music
Finch/Keita
★★★★★
Union Chapel, London
Touring until 28 May
C
lassically trained
Welsh harpist Catrin
Finch and Seckou
Keita, the Senegalese
exponent of the west
African harp kora, first
collaborated in 2013 on their widely
acclaimed album Clychau Dibon. Its
long-awaited follow-up, Soar, was
released last month. This concert was
an emotional demonstration of how
two virtuoso musicians triumphantly
bring different cultures together.
It began with a delightful and
appropriate concept. Wales used to
have a large osprey population, but
by the 17th century the birds had
been persecuted to extinction. The
ospreys have recently returned,
migrating from west Africa, and
Clarach celebrates the first Welshborn osprey for hundreds of years.
The track began with floating harp
work punctuated by kora basslines,
then developed into a soaring, gently
rousing improvisation celebrating
freedom of movement.
The duo swapped improvised
melody lines and rhythmic backing
almost intuitively, in a set that
showcased their new album. Bach
to Baïsso started with a western
classical theme – from Bach’s
Goldberg Variations – played on kora
before easing into an elegant but
lively ancient Senegambian tune,
with Seckou providing laid-back
vocals. Elsewhere, on 1677, they
moved from a bluesy, atmospheric
lament about slavery to a playful
rhythmic workout, while on the
charming Listen to the Grass Grow
they were joined by Welsh singer
Gwyneth Glyn, who had opened
the show.
Finch is undergoing cancer
treatment, and asked for donations
for an NHS centre in Cardiff “that has
saved many lives and is currently
saving mine”. Then she launched
into Hinna-Djulo, matching
Seckou’s now swinging, jazzy kora
improvisation with delight. It was a
classy, joyful and life-affirming set.
Robin Denselow
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
13
•
TV and radio
Watch this
Ellie White (left)
as Beatrice and
Celeste Dring
as Eugenie
What Makes a Woman?
10pm, Channel 4
Review
The Windsors Royal Wedding Special
The model, transgender activist and Daily Mail
hate figure Munroe Bergdorf draws heavily
on her experiences for her debut as a TV
documentarian: this film shows her undergoing
“dramatic facial feminisation surgery” as part
of an ongoing effort to confront her gender
dysphoria. In between jousts with equally
opinionated people who don’t accept “trans
women are women” as an obvious truth, the
forthright Bergdorf interrogates the latest
science on how our brains and bodies define
who we are.
Channel 4
Sam Wollaston
The royal family may be ghastly
monsters, but they are our ghastly
monsters – it makes me rather proud
★★★★☆
‘Y
es!” shouts Meghan Markle. “Yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” Not in a
When Harry Met Sally way, but in a
Harry met Meghan and finally got
around to proposing way. Actually,
he hasn’t quite got the question out,
but there is something he wants to ask her, he says. He is
hiding something behind his back, but she knows what
is coming. The element of surprise may not be Harry’s
forte. Anyway, the answer is clear. It is a yes!
They are on a US talkshow. Harry (Richard Goulding)
says he has calmed down a lot since meeting Meghan
(Kathryn Drysdale). The stag will probably just go
nightclub, strip club, casino then brothel. But he may try
LSD, too, and he wonders if the zoo would let him fight
a leopard. Shame Wills won’t be coming over for it. Nor
Rupes, Jono, Grunty, Sir Vomalot or Lord Pissbucket.
Meghan was thinking more along the lines of
a wheatgrass juice at a detox spa followed by The
Vagina Monologues. But guess what – one glass of
complimentary fizz at the spa while Meghan is in the
toilet is the beginning of a slippery slope. At the other
end of that slope is Harry in his old SS uniform, locked
in a cell with a woman called Amber he ennobled after
a few Jägerbombs at Hooters, arrested for urinating
off the roof of a police station. Yes, Meghan, with your
lovely, shiny hair and American teeth and modern
ways: you may get to win the prince, but you don’t
get to tame him.
This is one of the brilliant things about Bert TylerMoore and George Jeffrie’s comedy: it is relentlessly
ruthless, but also a teeny bit affectionate; it actually
makes you rather proud of them. They may be ghastly
monsters, but they are our ghastly monsters.
You can’t accuse The Windsors of holding back: it is
gloriously, gobsmackingly brazen. Not just about the sixth
in line to the throne being a thick, philandering, animalbothering, Jägerbombing, Nazi-dressing, acid-dropping,
indecent flasher and splasher, but about all of them.
Harry Enfield’s blithering Charles muddles over
to Los Angeles to meet Meghan’s mum on a charm
offensive, succeeding with the offensive part, less so
with the charm. Or being relevant or having a purpose.
14
Wills refuses to have the snip or wear “nodders” (me
neither, but from now on they will always be nodders).
But he does have the knackers (again, his word) to
deliver the rudest line of the night. “There’s always what
in the Eurovision song contest they call the Greek entry,”
he tells Kate, as an alternative to the snip and nodders.
Pippa Middleton, although married to a billionaire,
is consumed with jealousy about not getting a prince
herself; she is feeding Kate liquidised donuts so she
won’t fit into her dress. Fergie is living in a council house
and trying to win a golden ticket,
Charlie-Bucket-style. Beatrice (Ellie
White) and Eugenie (Celeste Dring)
are running a wedding fashion vlog
with top tips (your wedding outfit
should never include subliminal
messages encouraging terrorism).
Oh, but then Beatrice bumps into
Bulletproof
and falls in love with Jeremy Corbyn
is more about
and becomes a Marxist. For five
car chases
minutes. Beatrice and Eugenie may
than the ins
be the best thing about The Windsors.
and outs of
Spin-off, perhaps?
It is all fabulous, though. I worried
the case
an hour might be a stretch, but I
needn’t have. Meghan, the wedding,
the US, the family history – it all
combined to give impetus to TylerMoore and Jeffrie. It must have been a hoot to make.
You can imagine them thinking: can we get away with
that? Surely not, go on ...
It is hilarious – a treasure chest of cheek – and you can
get away with a lot by being hilarious. I even felt a bit
patriotic that this was the response of a public-service
broadcaster to a royal wedding.
Bulletproof (Sky1) is buddy cop TV, Bad Boys brought
to east London, with Ashley Walters and Noel Clarke
as Pike and Bishop – colleagues, mates and traders of
banter. Homage or cliche? It can be a thin line, but two
black cop leads, that is something to cheer.
As are the car chases. That is what it is about, more
than the ins and outs of the case or the people involved:
the ride. Very happy to go along with that.
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
Jack Seale
24 Hours in A&E
9pm, Channel 4
And
another
thing
No football;
what is there
to think about?
Well, no
football apart
from a few cup
finals and then,
in less than
a month, the
World Cup!
Cameras return to St
George’s in south-west
London. The format –
following patients and
their families through
initial treatment – may
be familiar, but it is
inherently dramatic and
affecting. Tonight, we
meet a woman with MS
and suspected sepsis;
a pensioner who has
fallen; and a six-year-old
with tissue stuck in her
ear. Jonathan Wright
The Last Man on
the Moon
9pm, BBC Four
Sad to think that, contrary
to childhood expectations,
in the 21st century we are
living in a postspace era
and astronauts are dying
of old age. Eugene Cernan,
who led the final Apollo
mission in 1972, passed
away in 2017. Using archive
interviews and home
movies, this film tells his
story. David Stubbs
North Korea:
The Great Illusion
9pm, National
Geographic
As with most
documentaries filmed
inside North Korea, this
is of debatable value
as a depiction of life in
the country, but it is an
excellent demonstration
of the paranoid lengths to
which the regime will go
to protect its image. The
stories of refugees remind
us of the gulf between
propaganda and reality.
Andrew Mueller
Jon Richardson:
Ultimate Worrier
10pm, Dave
A new series in which the
fretful comedian indulges
his litany of anxieties. His
concerns are manifold
(from haunted puppets
to sleep talking) and,
joined by fellow comics
Suzi Ruffell and Josh
Widdicombe, he hopes
to discuss and therefore
exorcise some of them.
Ben Arnold
The Trixie and
Katya Show
10.30pm, Viceland
RuPaul’s Drag Race has
become big business in
recent years, with fan
favourites drawing out
their 15 minutes online
after their respective
series have aired. Among
them are Trixie Mattel and
Katya Zamolodchikova,
who hosted a YouTube
series and have now
graduated to this filthy,
funny talkshow.
Hannah J Davies
•
BBC One
BBC Two
ITV
Channel 4
Channel 5
6.0
Breakfast (T) 9.15 Ill Gotten
Gains (T) 10.0 Homes Under
the Hammer (T) (R) 11.0
A1: Britain’s Longest Road
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Hunt (T) (R) 1.0 News (T)
1.30 Regional News (T)
1.45 Doctors (T) 2.15 The
Doctor Blake Mysteries
(T) 3.0 Escape to the
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Recipes: Wedding Special
(T) 4.30 Hardball (T) 5.15
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News and Weather (T)
7.0 The One Show (T)
6.0
Flog It! Trade Secrets (R)
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7.15 Royal Recipes (R) 8.0
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8.30 Britain in Bloom (T) (R)
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(T) (R) 1.10 Coast (T) (R) 1.45
Going Back, Giving Back (T)
(R) 2.30 Digging for Britain
(T) (R) 3.30 Victorian Farm
(T) (R) 4.30 Street Auction
(T) (R) 5.15 Antiques Road
Trip (T) (R) 6.0 Eggheads (T)
(R) 6.30 Great Continental
Railway Journeys (T) 7.0
Back to the Land (T)
6.0
Good Morning Britain
(T) 8.30 Lorraine (T) 9.25
The Jeremy Kyle Show (T)
10.30 This Morning (T) 12.30
Loose Women (T) 1.30 News
(T) 1.55 Local News (T) 2.0
Judge Rinder’s Crime Stories
(T) 3.0 Dickinson’s Real Deal
(T) (R) 3.59 Local News and
Weather (T) 4.0 Tipping
Point (T) 5.0 The Chase (T)
6.0 Local News (T) 6.30
News (T) 7.0 Emmerdale
(T) Doug makes a startling
discovery. 7.30 Coronation
Street (T) Michelle reveals
the contents of Aidan’s
will to the Connor women.
6.0
Countdown (R) 6.45 3rd
Rock from the Sun (R) 7.35
Everybody Loves Raymond
(R) 8.30 Frasier (R) 9.0
Frasier (R) 10.05 Ramsay’s
Kitchen Nightmares USA (T)
(R) 11.0 Undercover Boss
USA (T) (R) 12.0 News (T)
12.05 Coast v Country (T)
(R) 1.05 Posh Pawnbrokers
(T) (R) 2.10 Countdown (T)
3.0 A Place in the Sun (T)
(R) 4.0 The £100k Drop
(T) 5.0 Four in a Bed (T) (R)
5.30 Buy It Now (T) 6.0
The Simpsons (T) (R) 6.30
Hollyoaks (T) (R) 7.0 News
(T) 7.55 The Political Slot (T)
6.0
Watchdog Live (T) A report
on broadband companies
misleading customers about
how much they will end
up paying for services.
Panorama: Police Under
Pressure (T) A shortage of
detectives has left forces
at breaking point. This
programme looks at the
challenges facing four forces.
8.0
The World’s Most
Extraordinary Homes
(T) Architect Piers Taylor
and property enthusiast
Caroline Quentin explore
unique homes in India.
Love in the Countryside
(T) Equine vet Heather
and cattle and sheep farmer
Christine’s dates arrive to
sample rural life.
8.0
Heathrow: Britain’s Busiest
Airport (T) Russian children
return home from British
boarding schools.
8.30 Coronation Street (T)
Johnny breaks down
in Liz’s arms.
9.0 Innocent (T) Alice and Rob’s
relationship disintegrates as
evidence incriminates them
further.
8.0
The Secret Life of the Zoo
(T) Baby capybara Henry
enjoys having the attention
of all the female capybaras.
24 Hours in A&E (T)
New series. A 52-yearold woman who suffers
from MS is brought in
with suspected sepsis, and
an 83-year-old woman
has fallen down the stairs.
8.0
10.0 News (T) Weather
10.30 Local News (T) Weather
10.45 Uefa Europa League
Highlights Marseille v
Atlético Madrid (T) Action
from the final in Lyon.
11.45 Play to the Whistle (T) (R)
12.20 Jackpot247 3.0
Grantchester (T) (R) 3.50
ITV Nightscreen 5.05 The
Jeremy Kyle Show (T) (R)
10.0 What Makes a Woman?
(T) Munroe Bergdorf on
gender and identity.
11.05 Gogglebox (T) (R)
12.05 Friday Night Dinner (R)
12.35 High & Dry (R) 1.0
How’d You Get So Rich? (R)
1.45 The Descendants
(Alexander Payne, 2012) 3.45
Fill Your House for Free (R)
4.40 One Star to Five Star (R)
8.0
9.0
10.0 News (T)
10.30 Regional News (T) Weather
10.45 A Question of Sport: Mind
Games (T) Clip show.
11.15 FA Cup: The Road To
Wembley (T) The story of
this year’s competition.
11.45 Ambulance (T) (R) A
specialist trauma duo treat
the victim of a knife attack.
12.45 Weather (T) 12.50 News (T)
9.0
10.0 Detectorists (T) (R)
10.30 Newsnight (T) Weather
11.15 Atlanta (T) (R) First two
episodes of the comedy
drama with Donald Glover
and Brian Tyree Henry.
12.05 Versailles (T) (R) (7&8/10)
1.55 Britain’s Biggest Warship
(T) (R) 2.55 Murder, Mystery
and My Family (T) (R) 3.40
This Is BBC Two (T)
9.0
Other channels
Dave
6.0am Home Shopping
7.10 Top Gear 8.10
American Pickers 9.010.0 Storage Hunters
UK 10.0-1.0 American
Pickers 1.0 QI XL 2.0 Top
Gear 3.0-4.0 Deadly
60 4.0 Steve Austin’s
Broken Skull Challenge 5.0 Top Gear 6.0
Taskmaster 7.0-9.0 QI
XL 9.0 Taskmaster 10.0
Jon Richardson: Ultimate
Worrier 11.0 QI XL 12.0
QI 12.40-2.0 Mock the
Week 2.0 QI 2.40-3.30
The Last Man on Earth
3.30 The Indestructibles
4.0 Home Shopping
E4
All programmes from 8am
to 7pm are double bills
6.0am-7.0 Hollyoaks 7.0
Couples Come Dine With
Me 8.0 How I Met Your
Mother 9.0 New Girl
10.0 2 Broke Girls 11.0
Brooklyn Nine-Nine 12.0
The Goldbergs 1.0 The
Big Bang Theory 2.0 How
I Met Your Mother 3.0
New Girl 4.0 Black-ish
5.0 The Goldbergs 6.0
The Big Bang Theory 7.0
Hollyoaks 7.30 Black-ish
8.0 The Goldbergs 8.30
The Big Bang Theory 9.0
The 100 10.0 Timeless
11.0-12.0 The Big Bang
Theory 12.0 First Dates
1.10 Tattoo Fixers 2.10
The 100 3.0 Timeless
3.45 The Goldbergs
4.10 Rude(ish) Tube
4.35 Couples Come
Dine With Me
Film4
11.0am Buchanan
Rides Alone (1958)
12.40 Pimpernel
Smith (1941) 3.0 The Best of Benny Hill
(1974) 4.40 Yangtse Incident (1957)
6.30 Runaway
Jury (2003) 9.0 Paper Towns (2015)
11.10 The Last
Days on Mars (2013)
1.05 The Dance
of Reality (2013)
ITV2
6.0am The Planet’s
Funniest Animals 6.207.10 Totally Bonkers
Guinness World Records
7.10 Who’s Doing the
Dishes? 7.55 Emmerdale
8.25 The Cube 9.25 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show
10.20 The Bachelor
12.15 Emmerdale
12.45-1.45 You’ve Been
Framed! Gold 1.45 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show
2.35-6.0 The Jeremy
Kyle Show 6.0-8.0
You’ve Been Framed!
Gold 8.0 Two and a Half
Men 8.30 Superstore
9.0 Fast &
Furious 5 (2011) (FYI
Daily is at 10pm)
11.40-12.35 Family Guy
12.35-1.35 American
Dad! 1.35 Two and a
9.0
BBC Four
Milkshake! 9.15 The Wright
Stuff 11.15 Paddington
Station 24/7 (T) (R) 12.10
News (T) 12.15 GPs: Behind
Closed Doors (T) (R) 1.10
Access (T) 1.15 Home and
Away (T) 1.45 Neighbours
(T) 2.15 The Yorkshire Vet
Casebook (T) (R) 3.15 Maniac Mom (Lane Shefter
Bishop, 2017) (T) Mandy, a
mother in a new town finds
herself ostracised. Thriller
with Jessica Blackmore.5.0
News (T) 5.30 Neighbours
(T) (R) 6.0 Home and Away
(T) (R) 6.30 News (T) 7.0
Police Interceptors (T) (R)
GPs: Behind Closed Doors
(T) Doctors deal with
mental health issues.
Rich House, Poor House
(T) Well-off Tony and
Sarah Page from West
Yorkshire trade places
with the Hollands, who
live in a council house in
Hartlepool and are in the
country’s poorest 10%.
10.0 When Kids TV Goes Horribly
Wrong (T) (R) Andi Peters
narrates a compilation of
classic children’s TV mishaps.
With Sarah Greene, Sally
James, Pat Sharp, Gaz Top…
1.0SuperCasino (T) 3.10
GPs: Behind Closed Doors
(T) (R) 4.0 Get Your Tatts
Out: Kavos Ink (T) (R)
4.45 House Doctor (T) (R)
7.0
Beyond 100 Days (T)
7.30 History of the Future:
Cars (T) Phill Jupitus
examines how cars of the
future were predicted to
look in the 1950s and 1960s,
visiting museums in Detroit
and London in a quest to find
the dream car of his youth.
8.0
Cosmonauts: How
Russia Won the Space
Race (T) Documentary
examining the Soviet
Union’s pioneering role
in space exploration.
The Last Man on the Moon
(T) The story of Gene
Cernan’s ambition to be an
astronaut, which resulted
in him stepping on the moon.
9.0
10.30 Dambusters Declassified
(T) The actor Martin Shaw
explores the 1943 raid by
617 Squadron.
11.30 Planet Ant: Life Inside the
Colony (T) The workings of
a leafcutter ant nest.
1.0 The Last Seabird Summer?
(T) 2.0 Cosmonauts: How
Russia Won… (T) 3.0 History
of the Future… (T)
Radio
Half Men 2.0 Superstore
2.30 Teleshopping
More4
8.55am Food Unwrapped
9.30 A Place in the Sun:
Winter Sun 10.30 A Place
in the Sun: Winter Sun
11.35 Four in a Bed 12.05
Four in a Bed 12.35 Four
in a Bed 1.05 Four in a
Bed 1.40 Four in a Bed
2.10 Come Dine With Me
2.40 Come Dine With Me
3.15 Come Dine With Me
3.50 Come Dine With Me
4.20 Come Dine With
Me 4.50 A Place in the
Sun: Winter Sun 5.55
A New Life in the Sun
6.55 The Secret Life
of the Zoo 7.55 Grand
Designs 9.0 Building
the Dream 10.05 999:
What’s Your Emergency?
11.05 24 Hours in
A&E 12.15 8 Out of 10
Cats Does Countdown
1.15 Ramsay’s Kitchen
Nightmares USA 2.15
Building the Dream
3.15 8 Out of 10 Cats
Sky1
6.0am Animal 999
6.30 Animal 999
7.0 Meerkat Manor
7.30 Meerkat Manor
8.0 Monkey Business
8.30 Monkey Business
9.0 Motorway Patrol
9.30 Motorway Patrol
10.0 Road Wars 11.0
Sanctuary 12.0 NCIS: LA
1.0 Hawaii Five-0 2.0
Hawaii Five-0 3.0 NCIS:
LA 4.0 Stargate SG-1
5.0 The Simpsons 5.30
Futurama 6.0 Futurama
6.30 The Simpsons 7.0
The Simpsons 7.30 The
Simpsons 8.0 Carnage
9.0 A League of Their
Own 10.0 Scream 2
(1997) 12.10 Brit Cops:
Law & Disorder 1.05 Ross
Kemp: Extreme World
2.0 Most Shocking 3.0
Jamestown 4.0 Highway
Patrol 4.30 Highway
Patrol 5.0 It’s Me or
the Dog
Sky Arts
6.0am Rachmaninov:
Piano Concerto No 2
6.45 Verdi: I due
Foscari 9.0 Watercolour
Challenge 9.30 Art of the
Portrait 10.0 The South
Bank Show Originals
10.30 Tales of the
Unexpected 11.0 Classic
Albums 12.0 Too Young
to Die 1.0 Discovering:
David Niven 2.0
Watercolour Challenge
2.30 Art of the Portrait
3.0 The South Bank
Show Originals 3.30
Tales of the Unexpected
4.0 Classic Albums 5.0
Too Young to Die 6.0
Discovering: Gary Cooper
7.0 Tate Britain’s Great
Art Walks 8.0 Mystery
of the Lost Paintings 9.0
Discovering: Julie
Christie 10.0 Discovering:
Warren Beatty 11.0 The
Summer of Love 12.0
Mystery of the Lost
Paintings 1.0 Birthday
2.05 Sex & the Silver
Screen 3.20 Sex & the
Silver Screen 4.30 Tales
of the Unexpected 5.0
Auction 5.30 Auction
Sky Atlantic
6.0am Hotel Secrets
7.0 Fish Town 8.0 Urban
Secrets 9.0 The West
Wing 10.0 The West Wing
11.0 House 12.0 House
1.0 Without a Trace 2.0
Blue Bloods 3.0 The West
Wing 4.0 The West Wing
5.0 House 6.0 House
7.0 CSI: Crime Scene
Investigation 8.0 Blue
Bloods 9.0 Occupied
10.0 Patrick Melrose
11.10 High Maintenance
11.45 Silicon Valley 12.20
Barry 12.55 Billions 2.05
The Sopranos 3.10 High
Maintenance 3.45 Anon:
Special 4.10 The West
Wing 5.05 The West Wing
The Descendants,
Channel 4
Radio 3
6.30 Breakfast 9.0
Essential Classics 12.0
Composer of the Week:
Brahms (3/5) 1.0 News
1.02 Lunchtime Concert:
Leamington 2018 (2/4)
2.0 Afternoon Concert:
BBC Scottish Symphony
Orchestra. A concert
from the Sage Gateshead.
Beethoven: Egmont
– incidental music,
Op 84. Ravel: Piano
Concerto in G. Berlioz:
Symphonie fantastique,
Op 14. Steven Osborne
(piano), Yan Pascal
Tortelier.3.30 Choral
Evensong: St Pancras
Church, London 4.30
New Generation Artists
5.0 In Tune 7.0 In Tune
Mixtape 7.30 In Concert.
Live from the Royal
Festival Hall, London.
Kirill Gerstein (piano),
Royal Philharmonic,
Krzysztof Urbanski.
Stravinsky: Scherzo à la
russe. Beethoven: Piano
Concerto No 5 (Emperor).
8.15 Interval. Stravinsky:
The Firebird, complete
ballet (1910). 10.0 Free
Thinking: Designing the
Future 10.45 The Essay:
To the Barricades! (3/5)
11.0 Late Junction 12.30
Through the Night (R)
Radio 4
6.0 Today 8.30 (LW)
Yesterday in Parliament
9.0 Only Artists:
Steven Isserlis Meets
Sebastian Barry (2/7)
9.30 Classified Britain.
James Naughtie reads
small ads from 1819.
(2/5) 9.45 (LW) Daily
Service 9.45 (FM)
Book of the Week: The
Book. by Keith Houston.
(3/5) 10.0 Woman’s
Hour. Includes at 10.41
Drama: Wuthering
Heights (3/10) 11.0
A Church in Crisis (R)
11.30 Ability: Matt and
Bob Decide to See How
Far They Can Go – They
Attempt Shoplifting
(3/4) 12.0 News 12.01
(LW) Shipping Forecast
12.04 Dr Broks’s
Casebook: The Woman
Attacked by Goblins
(R) 12.15 You and Yours
1.0 The World at One
1.45 The Assassination:
The Assassin’s Journey
(8/10) 2.0 The Archers
(R) 2.15 Drama: McLevy
– The Seventh Veil, by
David Ashton. (R) (2/4)
3.0 Money Box Live 3.30
All in the Mind (R) 4.0
Thinking Allowed 4.30
The Media Show 5.0
PM 5.54 (LW) Shipping
Forecast 6.0 News
6.30 Daliso Chaponda:
Citizen of Nowhere –
The Helpers (3/4) 7.0
The Archers 7.15 Front
Row 7.45 Wuthering
Heights (R) (3/10) 8.0
FutureProofing: Mental
Health (3/4) 8.45 Four
Thought: Married Life.
With Laiba Husain. 9.0
Costing the Earth (R)
9.30 Only Artists (R)
10.0 The World Tonight
10.45 Book at Bedtime:
The Female Persuasion,
by Meg Wolitzer. (3/10)
11.0 The John Moloney
Show: How I Became a
Comedian (1/4) 11.15
Terry Alderton’s All
Crazy Now: Chicken Pole
Vault (R) 11.30 Today in
Parliament 12.0 News
12.30 Book of the Week
(3/5) 12.48 Shipping
Forecast 1.0 As World
Service 5.20 Shipping
Forecast 5.30 News
5.43 Prayer for the Day
5.45 Farming Today
5.58 Tweet of the Day (R)
Radio 4 Extra
6.0 The Doomed Oasis
(2/6) 6.30 Reel Histories:
Dam Busters 7.0 The
Leopard in Autumn (2/6)
7.30 Daliso Chaponda:
Citizen of Nowhere (2/4)
8.0 The Navy Lark 8.30
Round the Horne (4/13)
9.0 Foul Play 9.30 The
27-Year Itch 10.0 The
Mill on the Floss (3/5)
11.0 Opening Lines (2/3)
11.15 Faith, Hope and
Charity (R) 12.0 The
Navy Lark 12.30 Round
the Horne (4/13) 1.0 The
Doomed Oasis (2/6) 1.30
Reel Histories… 2.0 The
Secret History (13/15)
2.15 Britain on the Bottle
(3/10) 2.30 Gillespie
and I (8/10) 2.45 Falling
Upwards (3/5) 3.0 The
Mill on the Floss (3/5)
4.0 Foul Play 4.30 The
27-Year Itch 5.0 The
Leopard in Autumn (2/6)
5.30 Daliso Chaponda:
Citizen of… (2/4) 6.0
2001: A Space Odyssey
(3/10) 6.15 The Book
of Strange New Things
(3/10) 6.30 The Tingle
Factor 7.0 The Navy Lark
7.30 Round the Horne
(4/13) 8.0 The Doomed
Oasis (2/6) 8.30 Reel
Histories… 9.0 Opening
Lines (2/3) 9.15 Faith,
Hope and Charity (R)
10.0 Daliso Chaponda:
Citizen of Nowhere (2/4)
10.30 2525 (5/6) 11.0
Clayton Grange (3/4)
11.30 Delve Special (2/4)
12.0 2001: A Space
Odyssey (3/10) 12.15
The Book of Strange New
Things (3/10) 12.30 The
Tingle Factor 1.0 The
Doomed Oasis (2/6) 1.30
Reel Histories – Dam
Busters 2.0 The Secret
History (13/15) 2.15
Britain on the Bottle:
Alcohol and the State
(3/10) 2.30 Gillespie
and I (8/10) 2.45 Falling
Upwards (3/5) 3.0 The
Mill on the Floss (3/5)
4.0 Foul Play 4.30 The
27-Year Itch 5.0 The
Leopard in Autumn (2/6)
5.30 Daliso Chaponda:
Citizen of Nowhere (2/4)
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
15
•
no 14,983
Yesterday’s
solutions
Quick crossword
Wordsearch
Across
1 Series of small amounts (5,3,5)
8 Negation of what follows (3)
9 Confounded (9)
10 Ground almond paste (8)
11 Semi-solid mass — dunce (4)
13 Beer maker (6)
14 Forever (6)
16 Hazard (4)
17 Middle-of-the-road reflectors
(4,4)
20 Beach vehicle with large tyres
(4,5)
21 Lughole (3)
22 Forecast software problem for
New Year’s Day 2000 (10,3)
Solution no 14,982
1
Down
1 Thick cotton cloth (5)
2 Relating to relationships (13)
3 Will do (8)
4 Nutty sweet (6)
5 Two nickels (4)
6 Be, do or have, for example,
grammatically — I buy Rex a rival
(anag) (9,4)
7 Calms (7)
12 Gesundheit! (5,3)
13 Monotony (7)
15 Journalese or legalese, say? (6)
18 Shoulder movement (5)
19 Skilled (4)
2
8
3
S K
N
I O
C
C K
E
O R
E C
R
D E
D
L O
A T
E
J A
T
Y
C
T H
E
ON
I
A L
L
B E
E B
A
R
K
B E
R
Y
P
D L
A
L Y
E
T R
O A
P
E P
L
R I
Q
J U
E
Y
E
D
I
O T
R D E R
R
E
R OO F
N R
B E R I
G
N G L E
R R
P I S A
S
T
I T T O
L
R
T E R
5
6
7
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
B
R
A
I
N
W
A
S
H
I
N
G
4
17
18
19
20
21
22
Stuck? For help call 0906 200 83 83. Calls cost £1.10 per minute, plus your phone company’s access charge.
Service supplied by ATS. Call 0330 333 6946 for customer service (charged at standard rate).
To buy puzzle books, visit guardianbookshop.com or call 0330 333 6846.
Sudoku no 4,060
Sudoku
no 4,061
Medium. Fill the grid so that each row, column and
3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9. Printable version at
theguardian.com/sudoku
Word wheel
WORKSPACE
Word wheel
Suguru
Wordsearch
Find as many words as
possible using the letters
in the wheel. Each must
use the central letter and
at least two others. Letters
may be used only once. You
may not use plurals, foreign
words or proper nouns.
There is at least one nineletter word to be found.
TARGET: Excellent-42.
Good-38. Average-30.
Fill the grid so that each square
in an outlined block contains a
digit. A block of 2 squares contains
the digits 1 and 2, a block of three
squares contains the digits 1, 2 and
3, and so on. No same digit appears
in neighbouring squares, not even
diagonally.
Can you find 13 words associated with
schools in the grid? Words can run
forwards, backwards, vertically or
diagonally, but always in a straight,
unbroken line.
Suguru
Steve Bell
If…
Pet
corner
Which writer
had a pet pug
called Pongo?
a. Annie Proulx
b. Anne Rice
c. Louise Erdrich
d. Donna Tartt
Answer top right
16
The Guardian
Wednesday 16 May 2018
TODAY’S PET CORNER ANSWER DONNA TARTT
Puzzles
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