How to Walk the Talk and Change the Conversation: Practical
код для вставкиAmerican Bar Association Section of Family Law Annual Meeting Moscone Convention Center Friday, August 9, 2013 Presenters: Melissa Kucinski, Esq. Denise Mirman, Esq. Edith Osman, Esq. Anita Ventrelli, Esq. SPEAKER BIOS MELISSA KUCINSKI, Esq. Melissa Kucinski is a private family lawyer and mediator, adjunct law professor teaching international family law, and founder of a nonprofit promoting access to justice. She currently serves as chair of the ABA Family Law Section’s International Committee and the ABA Section of International Law’s International Family Mediation Task Force. She sits as a member of the U.S. Secretary of State’s Advisory Committee on Private International Law, is author to several articles on the topic of mediating international family matters, and has spoken widely on that topic. Melissa received an award for Outstanding Contribution to the Family Law Section in 2012. DENISE MIRMAN, Esq. Denise Mirman is a principal and the managing partner of Friedman & Mirman Co. LPA, a family law firm in Columbus, Ohio. She has been practicing in family law for over 30 years, and is an OSBA-board certified specialist in that area. She is listed in Best Lawyers in America and is a Fellow in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. Denise has also been named an Ohio Super Lawyer in Family Law since the designation's inception, and is ranked as one of the Top 50 Female Ohio Super Lawyers and one of the Top 25 Female Columbus Super Lawyers. Denise's practice concentrates on highly complex divorce cases, and she practices in all areas of family law. ANITA VENTRELLI, Esq. Anita Ventrelli. A firm partner since 1997, Anita simplifies the legal process for clients, develops proactive strategy tailored to each client’s needs while using analytical skills to master financial matters for an optimum position in trial or settlement of complex matters for high profile clients. Anita serves on the Board and Faculty of the ABA Family Law Section/NITA Trial Advocacy Institute and as a Delegate in the ABA House of Delegates. Anita’s peers respect her courtroom results and have recommended her for inclusion amongst a group of elite family law practitioners. Since 1997, she has been a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. In 2003, the Chicago Daily Law Bulletin named her one of “40 Attorneys Under 40 Illinois Attorneys to Watch.” Since 2005, she has been recognized as an Illinois Super Lawyer. Anita has also been included in the Leading Lawyers Network and the Best Lawyers of America. AMERICAN BAR ASSOCIATION ANNUAL MEETING SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA August 9, 2013 – 3:45 p.m. to 5:15 p.m. Moscone Convention Center HOW TO WALK THE TALK AND CHANGE THE CONVERSATION: PRACTICAL INSIGHTS FROM WOMEN WHO ROSE ABOVE THE GLASS CEILING Presented By: Melissa Kucinski, San Francisco, CA Denise Mirman, Coumbus, OH Edith Osman, Miami, FL (Facilitator) Anita M. Ventrelli, Chicago, IL 870440_1 INTRODUCTION It is only after a woman rises above the glass ceiling that those who conclude that her arrival is complete reflect on how she got there. At times, it is difficult to determine the forces at work. That said, in constructing this program, each of the panelists were asked to consider what things impressed them enough to form the basis of conscious behavior changes, as well as noting things that came naturally to them that they found helpful as they progressed in their careers. Our panel is both diverse in age, ethnicity and geography to give a wide range of ideas for consideration. We begin with our youngest panelist, Melissa Kucinski: “Things I Wish I Knew my First Year of Practice”: 1. Be Yourself. Each person has their own personality, their own way of practicing, and their own way of handling clients. You do not have to intimidate another lawyer, but you should be observant of other lawyers and learn from them. 2. Be Straightforward. In particular, when trying to win a potential client's work, it is more important to set realistic expectations of the process, system and your work dynamic as a client-lawyer team than to only focus on the things that will win this client's retainer. 3. Be Humble. Lawyers need not insist upon being aggressive and show ego in order to show power and control. Realize that you learn something new every day. Be receptive to what you can learn from others. Continue learning and this will make you a better and more well-rounded lawyer. 4. Be Confident and Willing to Assert an Opinion. Many young lawyers will fear expressing an opinion or reaching a conclusion. They fear being "wrong.” Young lawyers should not be afraid to be wrong - they will be wrong, but their opinions, right or wrong, can help improve an argument, clarify a goal, or allow others to teach the young lawyer. 2 870440_1 5. Be Attentive to Detail. Double and triple check your work. Hand work to another lawyer as if it is the final draft on which you will put your name. 6. Anticipate and Prepare. Review your work and try to assess what others may request of you. Do not do the bare minimum, and do not wait to be told what to do next. Prepare every case and assignment as if you were the only one finalizing the assignment. 7. Believe! Be open to new opportunities and take that leap of faith. There are times when others might see something in you that you do not see in yourself. Even if it might be scary to embark on a new adventure, whether it be to present at your first CLE, draft your first law review article, speak to a top government official, or move across the ocean to consult for the Hague Conference for the summer putting your private practice on hold, you need to be receptive to all the doors these opportunities can open for you. Now we turn to Denise Mirman, a named partner in a Columbus, Ohio, firm admitted to practice in 1982: 1. Listening. Listening is an undervalued skill. Lawyers are often too anxious to talk about what they know, but it's only by listening that you find out what a client needs or what the opposing attorney or judge thinks. This applies to life outside work too. 2. Balance. If you want work to be your life, that's your choice, but if you don't, you have to learn how to set boundaries, and then keep them. There will always be more work to do. 3. Law school does not teach you how to practice law; you will learn that from the lawyers around you. Try to associate with well-respected attorneys, show some respect for the practice, and pay attention to how others practice, both the good and the bad. Every encounter is a chance to learn and grow. It may take 3-5 years of practice before you feel at all "competent" representing clients in any field of law. Find an accessible, trusted mentor to help you with this, because the steep learning curve can be very frustrating. Finally, a panelist who progressed from law clerk to equity partner in a Boutique Firm, Anita M. Ventrelli licensed in 1989: 10 Tips to Distinguish Yourself as a Law Firm Leader 1. Watch as Well as Listen to those around you. When you have the chance to observe more than one lawyer in an interaction, make mental, if not physical, notes of what 3 870440_1 worked and did not work for each of the lawyers. School yourself in the meaning of body language and see the impact of carriage and posture (both positive and negative). 2. Teaching Yourself. Get in touch with the way that you learn best. Seek out learning experiences that play to your strengths to learn more quickly. 3. Identify the Approaches that Give you the Greatest Comfort. For those of us who are not creative, beginning any project with an analytical approach is a help and before we know it, we segue into the creative aspect without knowing it is there and, hence, not fearing it. For those who are more creative, reverse the process. 4. Don’t Entertain Thoughts of Rejection. What would you try if you knew you could not fail? Sometimes thinking positively (or not thinking negatively) can influence how you present yourself. Maintain a sense of balance and humor in every situation. This helps put clients at ease, disarms opponents and helps make judges like you, and we all know judges tend to do more in response to someone whose approach they like who also presents rock solid information and is reliable about facts. 5. How to Become Valued. Advice from my first boss who became my Godfather, Philip Edward Robinson. Make yourself indispensable in any organization or situation and you cannot help but succeed. 6. Confidence is Key. An Observation from my senior partner, Donald C. Schiller, that influenced everything I did afterwards: No one is more compelling than one who is confident. That said, figuring out what makes each of us confident is a life lesson that we can spend a lifetime learning. In my experience, the components to consider are: a. Knowledge of subject matter; b. Having set realistic expectations with the client and all team members; c. Having had time to think through the permutations of what can be variable/what you might be asked. 4 870440_1 d. 7. Suppressing the tendency to be defensive when questioned. Save the Best for Last…Your Opinions! Endeavor to be the last to voice an analysis or opinion and show you listened to and agree with or disagree with the remark made by those who precede you. People respect one who appears thoughtful. 8. Love Language. The late Joseph N. DuCanto fascinated me early in my career by his ability to turn a phrase and create images with words. He showed that it could be done everywhere in our work and that well-chosen words are a goldmine of tools to persuade. Someone famous once apologized to a correspondent saying: “I would have written you a shorter letter but I didn’t have time.” 9. Believe in What you Advocate and Work Hard. There is no greater satisfaction in knowing you did all you could to achieve your goal. 10. Credibility. Do not lend your credibility to those who are not worthy. If you are critical of another lawyer’s civility or truthfulness or any other practice, don’t socialize with them because it subtly undermines the things you vocalize. 5 870440_1
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