Resolution Sources N.B for internal use not for printing, reproduction, publishing or distribution вЂў Learning Tools вЂ“ Mastering HR Organizational Effectiveness, University Alliance вЂў Communicate Effectively, Lani Arredondo вЂў Resolving Conflicts on the Job, Bill Withers & Jerry Wisinski Learning Objectives вЂў Accept conflict as natural вЂў Discover your own perceptions and attitudes about conflict вЂў Understand how conflict develops in relationships вЂў Determine your style and the different styles of conflict management вЂў Learn how to prepare for a difficult conversation What is Conflict? вЂў A competitive or opposing action of incompatibilities вЂў Antagonistic state or action вЂў Mental struggle resulting from incompatible or opposing needs, drives, wishes or external or internal demands вЂў Hostile encounter Myths and Truths About Conflict Myths вЂў Conflict at work always means that there is something seriously wrong with the organization. вЂў Conflict means communication has come to a halt. вЂў If avoided, conflict will eventually go away. вЂў All conflicts can be resolved. вЂў Conflict always results in a winner and a loser. Truths вЂў Conflict will occur. вЂў Most conflicts can be managed. вЂў Conflict can help build relationships. вЂў Conflict can be a tool for personal development Some Positive Outcomes from Conflict вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў Creates change Brings issues to surface Can help reduce tension Helps get the work done Gets new ideas on the table Makes change happen Some Negative Outcomes from Conflict вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў People continue to avoid conflict Hurt feelings Things said in anger can have a lasting impact Lack of respect Lack of teamwork Change not occurring or happening Potential violence Overview вЂў Conflict is natural in almost every relationship. вЂў It is a matter of time. вЂў The key is to understand where the conflict comes from. вЂў Conflict can be a positive thing in organizations. вЂў It can spark change and creativity if successfully addressed. вЂў It can be negative if not addressed or recognized. Potential Areas of Disagreement вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў Scarce resources Jurisdictional ambiguities Communication breakdowns Personality clashes Power and status differences Goal differences Cultural differences values Effects of Disagreement вЂў Communication misfires вЂў Conflict among team members and among teams within the organization вЂў Lack of clarity in priorities вЂў Lack of trust in each other вЂў Lack of trust in management вЂў Reduction in productivity вЂў Reduction in creativity and innovation Conflict Management styles There are five conflict management styles: вЂў Competing вЂў Accommodating вЂў Avoiding вЂў Collaborating вЂў Compromising Conflict Management styles Competing Assertive and uncooperative, an individual pursues his/her own concerns at the other personвЂ™s expense. Conflict Management styles Accommodating Unassertive and cooperative вЂ“ this is the opposite of competing. When accommodating, an individual neglects his/her own concerns to satisfy the concerns of the other person. Conflict Management styles Avoiding Unassertive and uncooperative вЂ“ this individual does not immediately pursue his/her own concerns or those of the other person. Conflict Management styles Collaborating Both assertive and cooperative вЂ“ this is the opposite of avoiding. Collaborating involves an attempt to work with the other person to find some solution which fully satisfies the concerns of both persons. Conflict Management styles Compromising This style is an intermediate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness. The objective is to find some expedient, mutually acceptable solution which partially satisfies both parties. YouвЂ™ve got to love your people more than your position In preparing for a difficult conversation, it takes strength, emotional intelligence and maturity to look at the other personвЂ™s perspective, point-of-view, and side in the conflict. Why Have Difficult Conversations? вЂў YouвЂ™ll reduce your anxiety and get better results вЂў YouвЂ™ll identify barriers to effective communication вЂў YouвЂ™ll understand and express complex thoughts and feelings productively вЂў YouвЂ™ll simply solve problems вЂ“ amicably Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation 1. Stop arguing about who is right. Explore each otherвЂ™s stories. Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation 2. Abandon blame. Sort out and map the contribution system. Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation 3. Do not assume, act based on facts. Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation 4. Ground your pride. Ask yourself what is at stake? Steps to prepare for a Difficult Conversation 5. Create a Learning Conversation Wrong Reflexes What to avoid? вЂўWriting memos instead of talking вЂў Withholding needed information вЂў Not returning messages вЂў Delaying giving required support Continue/вЂ¦next page Wrong Reflexes What to avoid? вЂў Getting others to take sides вЂў Shouting вЂў Threatening вЂў Undermining the opponentвЂ™s reputation вЂў Nervous gestures вЂў Closed body posture вЂў Tense facial expressions Importance of Sense of Humor in the work place вЂ“ basic вЂњfunвЂќdamentals вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў вЂў Laugh with people, not at them Lighten up. DonвЂ™t take yourself too seriously Think with a sense of humor Adopt a fun and playful attitude Plan to have a good time every single day Help others see the lighter side of things Conflict Resolution Skills There are three ways to resolve any conflict: вЂў Power contests вЂў Rights contests вЂў Interest reconciliation Autocratic Democratic Degree of authority used by the leader TELL SELL Degree of authority allowed followers PARTICIPATE DELEGATE Leader makes the decision; Leader presents announces it. the decision; Leader presents Leader defines invites the problem, limit, permits questions gets input and followers to make makes the decision the decision Relationships are the glue that holds team members together. вЂў Seek to understand the other personвЂ™s point of view before you explain yours. вЂў Try to arrive at a common goal вЂў Build on areas of agreement вЂў Clearly state your desire to find a solution that will work for all involved вЂў Depersonalize the conflict вЂў Avoid blaming, accusatory and inflammatory comments вЂўAsk yourself if this is the time and place to pursue an issue of conflict вЂўSee conflict as a disagreement about goals, ideas, and methods, rather than a personality or style conflict. вЂўUse a third-party negotiator when you are unable to practice cooperative problem solving вЂўListen to other peopleвЂ™s concerns. вЂўBefore meeting about a conflict, visualize the conflict resolved in the best way for all parties. вЂўProvide motivation for people involved in on-going or recurring conflicts to resolve their differences. вЂўAlways focus on reaching win/win solution. вЂў Again, conflict is natural вЂў It occurs in all relationships вЂў The key is how to recognize it, deal with it, and harness it for change and success вЂў It starts with recognizing your own reactions to conflict and how you can better deal with others and their reactions to conflict for resolution People donвЂ™t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.